I'll try to keep this relatively short but this has been an ongoing saga for nearly a year now. I have an above-ground 15' x 30' x 54" (~12,000 gallon) pool which was put in in 2018. I just replaced the sand in the sand filter this year (about two weeks ago). In 2021 I had a problem with the original pump (Hayward Matrix) and replaced it with a Hayward Power Flo LX. They're both 1.5 HP pumps and the pressure coming out of the return is high.
Starting last year I began to have a ton of problems keeping the pool balanced and clear. The CYA had crept up too high and I had to do multiple partial water exchanges to get it down. Then the algae blooms came (I'm in the middle of Texas and the sun and heat was particularly brutal last year making algae problems and balancing even harder).
I tried for MONTHS last year to get the pool clear, multiple shock attempts of all different types of shock, algicides, even hired a pool guy who basically gave up after six weeks and told me "you should just tarp the whole thing until all the algae is dead" what??
I closed the pool early for fall/winter and resolved to just start over in the spring. About a month ago I drained the pool down to about 2 feet and had 8000 gallons of fresh water trucked in. The water that was left in the pool was quite dirty, so I started right away with SLAM:

• I lowered PH to 7.2
• Checked CYA and it was just at the minimum, right at 30
• Used Pool Math app and started SLAM process, first with Hypochlorite (Leslie's Powder Plus 73), then switched to liquid chlorine (13%) after about a week.
• I am running the pump 24/7 and brushing + skimming regularly, clearing out the skimmer basket, occasional backwash, etc.

I have a good test kit from Trouble Free Pool and do an FC test every morning and night. Every morning the chlorine has dropped to 5ppm or lower and I add more shock... by evening the FC has dropped again and I add up to SLAM level again... but I've been doing this for ten days now and the water is not clearing up. In fact I went out this morning and the water is starting to tinge GREEN again!!!
My wife has basically made me promise that if I can't get this solved within the next 30 days, the pool has to go. Could there be a problem with my filter that would be causing it to not actually filter even though it appears to be running normally? I feel like this pool is cursed. Is the solution just MORE chlorine?
Any help would be much appreciated. It will be an epic PITA to get rid of this pool as there is decking built all around it, but I don't want an unusable green pond in my backyard either.
EDIT: I should also mention that the phosphates are crazy high - like over 1000 every time I've taken the water in to a pool supply place for a test. I think this explains why the algae keeps trying to bloom back up... but with the pump running 24/7 and me keeping the FC high all the time shouldn't phosphates be dropping?

May officemate (si Ms. A) ako dati na nakaka trauma yung pinag daanan. Bago palang ako sa company non tapos nakikita ko sya almost every day mugto yung mata, or minsan, okay sya tapos biglang pupunta ng CR, ayun pala umiiyak na.
Nung one time, sumama ako sa kanilang lumabas nag kwento sya.
Meron syang live in partner for 13 years. Yung partner nya na yun, kakilala ng lahat ng ka work namin kasi kapag lumalabas sila sumasama si guy. Minsan nga daw si guy pa nag iinitiate ng mga gala tapos nanlilibre din. So in short, naging tropa na sya nung mga workmate namin. Almost every day din kapag nandyan si guy (seaman kasi sya) hatid sundo nya si Ms A. Sobrang sweet din daw ni guy, as in parang perfect partner na. Hindi lang sila makapag pakasal kasi on going pa yung annulment ni Ms. A sa ex nya.
Then there was this time daw na parang sobrang paranoid ni Ms. A, iba yung kutob nya. Sinabi nya yun kay guy na there’s something bothering her pero hindi nya alam kung ano. Sinabihan lang sya ni guy na baka stress lang sya, so nag date sila pero di padin mapakali sya mapakali.
Since close nga si Ms. A sa lahat, yung isang ka work namin na babaero nag bigay ng tip sa kanya. Sabi nya, kung na bobother talaga sya hanapin nya yung extra phone ni guy (which we didn’t know na requirement ata sa mga lalaki) Una sabi pa ni Ms. A na walang ganon si guy, pero sabi ng ka work namin imposible daw. Icheck daw yung mga shoe boxes or kaya trunk ng sasakyan baka nandon. Pag uwi ni Ms. A sa kanila, una nyang chineck yung trunk nung sasakyan. Bumungad sa kanya yung gift box na may undergarments ng babae and ring box with engagement ring inside. naiiyak sya sa surprise na nakita nya. When she checked the ring, narealized nya na maliit yung size. Pag sukat nya, confirmed nga na hindi para sa kanya yung singsing. Nung hinalughog nya rin yung sasakyan ni guy, don nya nakita yung extra phone na sinasabi nung ka work namin.
Sa sobrang galit nya he confronted guy, tapos di daw tumangi. umiyak lang daw ng umiyak sa kanya at paulit ulit na nag sosorry. sabi din ni guy na bigyan sya ng two weeks, aayusin nya lahat ng kagaguhang ginawa nya.
After that confrontation umalis si guy sa bahay nila. Si Ms. A, hindi nya alam kung anong gagawin kasi di malinaw sa kanya lahat eh. walang explanation na binigay si guy kung ano ba yung kasalanang ginawa nya or kung para kanino yung mga nakita nya. She waited for two weeks for guy. After two weeks wala pading paramdam sakanya, don nya sya nag tanong sa kamag anak ni guy saka sa ibang friends. nalaman nya na si guy, naka buntis ng iba at ikakasal na. Hindi lang malinaw sa kanya kung yung baby na dinadala nung girl is firts baby nila ni guy or second baby na. Kasi nung inistalk nya yung FB nung girl, nakita nyang may 6 y.o na anak daw yung girl and hawig daw yun ni guy. tapos kasama din si guy sa mga ilang pictures nung baby pa yung bata.
Ang pinaka masakit, alam nung parents ni guy yung relationship nya doon sa kabit na girl pero okay lang sa kanila. Ang sabi nga, yung mother ni guy yung nag insist kay guy na pakasalan yung kabit bago manganak.
After hearing her story feeling ko ako yung naloko ng sobra. Damang dama ko yung pain na nafefeel nya. Kaya pala lagi syang tulala sa office or minsan bigla bigla nalang naiiyak kasi nakaka trauma pala talaga yung pinag daanan nya. May times pa na after two months ata yun na walang parandam si guy, biglang may nag padala ng bouquet of flowers kay Ms. A, walang nakalagay kung kanino galling pero same na same daw yung arrangements nung flowers sa mga narerecieve nya noon from guy. may note din na nakalagay na “I miss you so much” ata yun.

This is the final installment in the series about N.T. Wright's 'Into the heart of Romans'. Originally a collection, that feature has since been deprecated by Reddit, leaving this series as a bunch of separate, unorganized posts :-( I'll add a flair to each of them later to make them searchable (edit: flair added!)
What I've learned about myself: I am bad at finishing books. By the time you've read 80% or so, the main conclusions and revelations have usually been drawn, and I have a hard time pushing through and finishing the whole thing. This weekend I finally made time to finish writing this final part for this book, after beginning this series months ago. I apologize for the delay.
I am grateful to Wright for writing this book. It is a grandiose view of God's love, the work of the Messiah and the Spirit in and through us. It is really worth checking out!
Without further ado, the final chapter.

Romans 8:34-39 Nothing Can Separate Us From God’s Love

‘Romans 8 ends on a note of wonderful confidence’. Philosophers have always tried to find solid ground, how can we know? Decartes claimed ‘I think, therefore I am’ (cogito, ergu sum) and ‘much subsequent western thought has tried to build on that, with (to say the least) mixed success’. Bishop Leslie Newbigin even altered that statement some time ago into ‘tesco, ergo sum’: I shop, therefore I am!
But Paul says something different: Amor, ergo sum: I am loved, therefore I am. ‘The gospel urges upon us an epistemology of love’, not simply the feeling, but agape, the generous self-giving which affirms the reality of what is known and loved. When Paul says ‘I am persuaded’ in verse 38, he isn’t just summing up Romans 5-8 but he’s also looking at ancient intellectual life and philosophy, saying ‘this is where you can stand’.
This is the love of God the creator, anchored in Jesus. In this passage Paul lists grave threats and forces aligned against us, but ‘the gospel itself, the message about Jesus crucified, risen, ascended, interceding, holds us in place despite everything: God’s love in the Messiah, Jesus our Lord’.
This answers the first common question, about the beginning and the end of the section, we’ve answered in each chapter so far: it begins and ends with God’s love, in verses 35 and 39.
For the second question, we’d usually look at the small connecting words, but again Paul isn’t using careful argumentation here, but a rhetorical device: seven threats in 35, and larger powers in 38-39a. Paul invokes Psalm 44 when speaking of the threats, but then claims that ‘the one who loved us (37) will enable us to be not just victorious, but super-victorious (hypernikomen). Why (gar, 38)? Because no forces on earth or in heaven can separate us from that same love.
The third regular question: what about the wider world in which Paul’s hearers would receive this message? The ‘question of confidence’ is vital, today as it was back then. We know God will look after us after death and we can cling to Jesus when bad things happen, but there is something else going on here.
People in Paul’s culture (and today!) might interpret the bad things happening to Christians as a sign that God was angry with them. They assume that if you live your life in tune with God, you wouldn’t have any problems. But if there are problems such as persecution, ‘the people or indeed the whole movement had obviously gone off the rails.’ Wright here devotes a few paragraphs to criticizing the western world, as pandemics and wars disrupt what seemed to be a success story but made victims along the way. ‘How should we look out upon a world in a mess?’ That question must have occupied the minds of Roman thinkers as well, as the empire’s rhetoric of peace and prosperity sounded hollow, especially to Jews at times of anti-Jewish riots or for instance when Caligula tried putting a statue of himself in the Jerusalem temple. Jews read Daniel’s prophecy about the 490 years and they too expected God to step in when the situation became very bad or dangerous. ‘For all these reasons, the two lists of dangers and hostile forces would represent real and present threats to Paul’s hearers’.
Paul had been questioned about this before. In Corinth, some wondered whether God would allow a proper apostle to lead such a bizarre life as Paul had, including persecutions and dangers. In 2 Corinthians, Paul turns that argument on its head in a ‘glorious, ironic rebuttal’: all the bad things that happen to Paul, he insists, are actually ‘the defining marks of genuine apostleship’. Romans was written not long after 2 Corinthians and Paul may have thought about vulnerable Christian groups in Rome, too. For instance, the gentile believers in Rome might regard the Jews, who were expelled under Claudius, as ‘obviously under divine displeasure’, which could lead to these gentile believers becoming ‘Job’s comforters’ to these Jewish Christians when they returned under Nero.
Wright ‘suspects’ that Paul isn’t just talking about ‘assurance of final salvation’ here but also about ‘penultimate assurance’, which his part of the doctrine of justification. This assurance is what we as Christians ought to give to one another: ‘we are to see one another’s misfortunes and sorrows, not as signs of God’s displeasure, […] but rather as part of the calling to share in the messianic woes, in wich – as in verses 26 and 27 – the spirit is calling out to the father from the heart of the pain and perplexity’.
Christians still make mistakes, some still step off ‘the steep ladder of vocation and settled for a gentler climb’. Compromised Christians or a worldly church no longer challenge their wider community. But those who refuse to slide into the world’s ways of thinking may well face real trouble. Paul makes that point in verse 36, where he cites Psalm 44. In that psalm, the psalmist celebrates God’s promises, but complains that they have not been coming true, even though they have kept the covenant. They have remained faithful, and yet this is happening. The psalmist concludes: it must be because of you, it is ‘for your sake’ (Ps 44:22). He knows God is in charge, but there must be ‘stranger, darker and deeper things going on in the world than one would see on the surface’. There were earlier allusions to Ps 44 (Rom 8:27 echoing Ps 44:21) and now Paul points to the next verse, Ps 44:22 to express the belief that the ‘severe troubles of God’s people are somehow for God’s sake’. As seen in 17-30 already, ‘the point seems to be that those facing severe troubles are somehow sharing in the Messiah’s present redemptive sufferings’, a point on which Wright will later elaborate.
Paul isn’t simply saying ‘everything is going to be all right, nothing else really matters’. He is saying that in a way, but he is doing so in a world that saw misfortune as a sign of divine misfortune. No, this is part of our vocation, our calling to bear in the spirit the pain of the world. This is part of our salvific ministry in and for the world. ‘Paul is, as it were, applying the unique fact of Jesus’ crucifixion to the present sufferings of Jesus’ people as they stand in prayer, as in verses 26 and 27, at the heart of the suffering world’. Our sharing in the messianic woes makes us part of the way in which Jesus’ victorious death is applied to the world (Colossians 1:24). ‘With the spirit groaning within us, we are called to share in God’s rescue plan for the whole world’.
Let’s remind ourselves how the last five verses work. There aren’t many connecting words. The troubles mentioned, just like the cross of Christ, aren’t unpleasant or ghastly things we have (or Christ had) to endure, but actually the setting for the greater victory, in which ‘all opposition is not just defeated but swept off the board’. Twice Paul uses alla, but, to make this point, in verses 36 and 37. In 38, we then get a gar which explains this seemingly counter-intuitive super-victory, which is based on the ‘unbreakable love of God himself, of which Paul has become utterly persuaded’. This love is the framework for these verses, opening with the Messiah’s love in 35 and ending in 39 with ‘the love of God in the Messiah Jesus our Lord’. Verse 37 too mentions love, as a halfway stepping stone. And with this, this major portion of Romans (5-8) returns to where it began, in Romans 5, where God’s love is displayed in action in the death of Jesus, and is being poured out in our hearts by the spirit. Paul has now, at last, worked his way back to that ‘great statement’.
Paul offers two lists here, as part of his heightened rhetoric: 7 bad things that might happen to you in verse 35, and ten power structures that might be arranged against you in 38-39. Seven plus ten, in ancient rhetoric, indicates a kind of completeness: ‘anything and everything the world, the flesh and the devil might throw at you.’ 31-39 draw together ‘the whole scripture, all human experience, the whole hostile world, and the whole victorious gospel’. Nothing can sepate us, those in the Messiah, from the love of God. And for the first time since Rom 5:6-10, Paul makes clear that it is all about that love.
Wright thinks we don’t ‘sufficiently ponder’ what that means. We know about Gods love, but to we really understand it? Wright proposes to ‘rattle the cage a bit’. First, many Romans believed Rome had a secret name, its Latin name spelled backwards: Amor, Latin for Love. Romans believed they descended from Aeneas, the son of the love goddess Venus. It’s ‘quite possible’ that Paul here is reclaiming love (agape), as ‘the deepest truth of the creator God’ instead of as a secret name of a pagan city. This matches with the other ‘subversive’ way in which Paul appropriates Roman imperial language for the Gospel, such as ‘gospel’ and ‘Lord’ (kyrios), words Rome used for its own rulers and messages of imperial benevolence and peace. Paul reclaims those words and applies them to Jesus as the true ‘Son of God’ and lord of the whole world, bringing true justice and peace. ‘No wonder the rulers and authorities of Paul’s day struck back in every way they could’ and that is the context for the final passage. Second, in verses 35 and 37 Paul speaks of the Messiah’s love, the love of Christ. That is actually quite rare. Wright lists a few examples in 2 Cor 5, Gal 2, Eph 3 and 5, but that’s about it. Paul speaks often of the love of God ‘that sent the son to die’. And when Paul speaks of grace, he speaks of ‘the grace of Lord Jesus’, not of the Messiah. So why, here, the Messiah’s love? In scripture or extrabiblical sources, there ‘is nothing to suggest that if and when a Messiah turned up he would act out of love. Ruling, bringing justice, defeating enemies, but not love. So where does it come from, here at the heart of the passage and the rhetorical climax of the letter so far?
The answer must be ‘the great Biblical theme of the love of YHWH himself, Israels God’. And the idea of the Messiah’s love must mean that the Messiah is the personal embodiment of Israel’s God. God loves his people (as we see in scripture, Wright cites examples) and the Messiah ‘clothes that love in human flesh and blood’.
And to speak of God’s love is to speak of the covenant, God’s unbreakable loyalty to his people and covenant renewal through the Messiah. Now, European philosophers since Hegel have thought in terms of progress through either evolution or revolution. It can’t be both, and theologians have likewise said that Paul’s theology can’t be both ‘covenantal’ (evolutionary) and ‘apocalyptic’ (revolutionary). These categories have joined ‘forensic’ which has been used to analyse Paul, which means ‘belonging in a law court’. But, in Romans 8 we have ‘in the same breath, the covenant with Israel, now focused on the Messiah, and at the same time we have the sudden inbreaking of God’s powerful rescuing love in the new messianic exodus’. ‘Apocalyptic’ and ‘covenant faithfulness’ fit together in ancient Israelite and Jewish thought. Paul has also spoken of the unveiling (apokalypsis) to the world of the justice of God. All this explains, says Wright, why he sometimes translates the key term dikaoisyne not as ‘righteousness’ (which has its own modern theological misleading connotations) but as ‘covenant justice’, which draws together the covenantal and forensic categories together, in line with the Hebrew tsedaqah which in the Septuagint is often translated with dikaiosyne. We have to stop applying post-Enlightenment, modern categories; we shouldn’t give 19^th century answers to 16^th century questions, but 21^st century answers to 1^st century questions. We have to think like ‘first-century, Bible-soaked, Messiah-focused Jews’. That’s the only way to learn to understand our own world.
This agape love of which Paul speaks, what is that exactly? Not some special sort of Christian love; the Septuagint uses it for God’s love for his people as well as for destructive lust. The early Christian use of agape picks up on the theme of the Hebrew hesed (mercy, loving kindness, generosity) rather than a linguistic phenomenon. Both Paul and John use it to indicate the ‘biblical theme’ of divine love and God’s faithfulness to his covenant and its purposes, now fulfilled in Jesus. But, again, Jewish and Biblical thought never links this to the Messiah. There are three other (converging) answers as to why Paul speaks of the Messiah’s love. **First, ‘**early Christian throught began with reflection on the resurrection of the crucified Jesus’. This had to be the revelation-in-action of the long promised divine love, if it was the new exodus: God the Creator had at last remembered his long promised mercy. God had promised to reconcile the world to himself in reconciling love, and this had happened through the Messiah. God’s plan for himself and the Messiah converged in a way that was not apparent from contemporary Jewish readings of Scripture, but it became obvious in the light of Jesus. Wright connects this to the hesed Adonai, the loving kindness of YHWH himself. Second, Jesus’ first followers did not separate his resurrection from their memory of him before his death. Jesus displayed a ‘sovereign kindness in so much of what he did’, his closest followers knew him, and they spoke of his crucifixion itself as the supreme act of love. (John 13:1). Third, ‘the church’s present awareness of the person of Jesus himself’. ‘That strange presence’, always loving, promised and experienced in the sacraments for instance. ‘The Jesus who was experienced as a man of love before his crucifixion was known personally as the loving Lord in the intimate prayerful life of his followers’. ‘Memory and experience dovetail with the scriptural promises of YHWH’s rescuing love’, resulting in this remarkable theme, written less than 25 years after the crucifixion (!). This is, then ‘a radical innovation in Jewish messianic thinking’, as Jesus’ first followers came to see him as the human embodiment of Israels God. This passage is designed to give comfort and assurance, but underneath is a revolutionary theology of incarnation. Coupled with what has been said in Rom 8 about the spirit (pneumatology), this is ‘one of the greatest expositions of Trinitarian thought from any point of Christian history’. Not in the shape of cold theory, but in the shape of gratitude, allegiance, faith, hope and answering love.
At last, we can now walk through these verses and see how they work.
In 35b, Paul lists ‘the physical dangers and threats he himself had met’ or expected to meet, and his hearers might encounter soon as well. In the Greek, the list has an ‘audible punch’ which is not easy to pick up in English.
·Suffering and hardship: physical pain and cultural challenges such as loss of home or job.
· Persecution: Paul had experienced it and he could see it coming for the community in Rome.
· Famine: uncommon for us westerners, but a regular occurrence in those days.
· Nakedness: could happen after a shipwreck or at a public beating.
· The sword, machaira, a short sword used for executions, not in battle.
In Paul’s days, many would have said that if these things happen to you, the gods must be angry with you, you must have done something wrong. But in vs 36, Paul cites Ps 44 to ward of any suggestion that divine displeasure is causing these things. In Ps 44, the psalmist says that ‘all these things have come upon us, but we have not played you false or denied the covenant’. We suffer ‘because of you’ says the psalmist and Paul echoes that, we suffer ‘on your account’ (heneken sou), because of you we are sheep destined for slaughter. These sufferings are not signs of heaven-sent anger, but but ‘actually the outworking of the purpose which was sketched in 8:18-27’. What’s more, this verse closely echoes the Isaianic language for the suffering Servant, in Is. 53:7. That means these sufferings can be seen as ‘Messianic afflictions’, not just some nasty things to get through. They are to be embraced as part of the ‘redemptive vocations’. ‘This is where the wounds of Jesus meet the wounds of the world’. We are ‘reckoned’ sheep for the slaughter, just as the Messiah, when we are baptized and justified in him.
BUT… verse 37 begins with alla, ‘but’. Don’t let all these things ‘dominate your horizon’, because ‘in all these things we are super-conquerors, hypernikomen’. The enemy has been completely wiped out. Through our participation in the messianic sufferings, the ‘pain and the anger of the world may itself be exhausted and overcome’, through the supreme act of love of the Messiah and our participation in those sufferings, when we go ‘prayerfully to the dark places, to bring God’s light and healing right there’.
The reason for this ‘extraordinary analysis’ is given with the gar of verse 38, pepeismai gar. Paul is persuaded, he ‘has done the math’. He has listed 7 dangers and 10 powers that could attack us, ‘and he declares that none of them can come between the believer and the lof of God in Messiah Jesus’. The list of ten dangers is mostly arranged in pairs. We can read this list as ‘north, south, east, west’: Paul is covering the bases, it includes our possible states (life and death), the past and our (uncertain) future, powers in heaven and on earth, and anything in the cosmos. All of this is created, they are all creatures, ‘part of the world made by God, whereas the gospel is about the incarnate love of the creator himself’. These creatures, taken over by powers darker than themselves might indeed try separate us from the divine and messianic love, that is part of the ‘groaning of creation’, the out-of-jointness of God’s good creation. That creation will be rescued from its slavery to decay (8:19-25), that is the ultimate answer to that problem, and therefore also to any intermediate problems that might arise from the ‘creatures’ as they still are. Paul has lived experience with these powers, but he knows they will fail to separate us from the love of God.
Our human love experiences separation regularly (travel, work, death), but this love gives assurance of eternal unbreakability. Hard to imagine, but that is what the gospel provides. And with Paul, we need to be persuaded of all of this, ‘because of the resurrection of the crucified son of God’. It doesn’t all depend on the cross like some think, either because of a theological liberalism or because their specific atonement theory doesn’t really seem to need the resurrection. But the resurrection is the victory, where the creator God declared that the crucified and risen was indeed really his son, Israels Messiah and the world’s lord.
That’s after all where Romans began, from 1.3-5. Wright briefly recaps Romans from 1-5 and then 5-8. In the end, 8 ‘comes back full circle’ to the introduction in 5:1-11: ‘justification leads to glory, marking out the path of suffering and hope, sustained by the spirit-given love of God’, ‘this in itself is rooted in God’s action of utter self-giving love in the Messiah’. ‘That is where this first half or Romans now concludes’.
The victorious covenant love of God isn’t some fuzzy generalized sense of the transcendent or something like that. It’s not some conviction you have to talk yourself into. No, his conviction, persuasion and assurance all follow from the central ‘good news’ event of Easter. ‘If God really did raise Jesus the Messiah from the dead… then everything follows’. Wright here repeats an anecdote he often shared as a speaker, about a London cabbie who saw Wright was a bishop, and said to him: ‘What I always say, is if God raised Jesus Christ from the dead, then everything else is just rock ‘n roll, innit?’ ‘That is Paul’s doctrine of assurance in a nutshell. Nothing else in all creation can separate us from God’s love in the Messiah, Jesus our Lord’.

This past week in Disclosure:

May 13 – Karl Nell is revealed as David Grusch's replacement speaker at the NYC Salt Conference
Karl Nell's presentation – “The Real Black Swan Event: The Controlled Disclosure of UAP and Non-Human Intelligence" – will take place at 5PM on the 21st of May 2024.
Nell is a retired Army Colonel who worked with Grusch on the UAP Task Force, and was quoted in Leslie Kean’s The Debrief article that broke the original David Grusch story:

“[Grusch’s] assertion concerning the existence of a terrestrial arms race occurring sub-rosa over the past eighty years focused on reverse engineering technologies of unknown origin is fundamentally correct, as is the indisputable realization that at least some of these technologies of unknown origin derive from non-human intelligence.”

May 15 – US Representatives urge Defense Secretary Lloyd Austin to explain aerial incursions into U.S. military bases
Rep. Keith Self took to X to indicate a co-led letter had been submitted to Defense Secretary Lloyd Austin, urging him to provide more information related to the (seemingly) ongoing issue of aerial incursions over sensitive military installations.
The group of Representatives involved consists of: Reps. Self, Moskowitz, Ogles, Crenshaw, Norman, Finstad and Rosendale, Sr.
May 16 – Lue Elizondo highlights Pentagon inconsistencies and suggests his (and other whistleblowers') safety may be under threat
Lue Elizondo, former director of the Pentagon's Advanced Aerospace Threat Identification Program (AATIP), appeared on Matt Ford's podcast to reveal inconsistencies in the Pentagon's handling of information regarding AATIP.
Initially, the Pentagon confirmed his role and the program's focus but later claimed all related emails were deleted. However, when an email describing the authorized transfer of AATIP leadership surfaced on Reddit, the Pentagon admitted its existence but redacted AATIP mentions, citing FOIA exemptions.
Elizondo highlighted the Pentagon's pattern of misinformation and mentioned potential personal threats against him and other whistleblowers, stressing his non-suicidal and non-accidental status.
May 16 – Rep. Burchett introduces a new UAP transparency-related bill
Rep. Burchett introduced a new bill that would require President Biden to direct the heads of each federal department or agency to declassify all documents related to UAPs, within 270 days of the bill passing.
While the intentions of the bill are seemingly positive from a transparency perspective, the 1.5 pages of legislation fall short in terms of really moving the needle. Unlike previously proposed legislation such as the UAPDA, Rep. Burchett's bill lacks detail (e.g. a concrete set of relevant definitions and justifications).
May 19 – Sen. Gillibrand faces questions on the UAP/NHI topic during a segment on CBS
Senator Gillibrand reiterated the importance of seriously investigating the UAP issue during a segment on CBS.
Responding to the question of "do you think there really are aliens and UFOs?", Sen. Gillibrand responds diplomatically:

"I definitely don't know, and I think it's important to have full awareness of what's in our skies. We haven't been looking. And we need to look, and we need to be aware."

Things to look out for in the near future:

May

• According to Senator Gillibrand – a public hearing in line with AARO's latest report can be expected soon, saying –"I'll probably have another hearing aligned with that public report.”
• Karl Nell will be speaking at the NYC Salt conference. The talk is titled – “The Real Black Swan Event: The Controlled Disclosure of UAP and Non-Human Intelligence" – and will take place at 5PM on the 21st of May 2024.

Beyond/currently unknown

• Following the UAP hearing on the 26th of July, Members of Congress have called for a select committee with subpoena authority, to “go about the task of collecting information from the Pentagon and elsewhere” on unidentified flying objects. There have been conflicting messages from various Members of Congress on whether this is likely to happen anytime soon. Note – a select subcommittee was formally requested on March 13th.
• Reps. Moskowitz, Luna, and Burchett have repeatedly stated their intent to hold field hearings to overcome stonewalling from the Pentagon and military establishment"I think we [Congress] should try to get into one of these places [housing UAP evidence]...and if they won't let us in I think we should have a field hearing right outside the building...and the military will have to explain why that is." – Rep. Moskowitz (D)It is currently unknown when exactly we might expect that to occur, however as of Jan 12 – Rep. Luna confirmed:"I feel confident that we have enough evidence to move forward with our first field hearing. . We will be announcing details soon."
• Several journalists have indicated that first-hand witnesses of the alleged UAP legacy programs are in the process of providing testimony/evidence to the relevant authorities (e.g. the IC IG) and/or are on the verge of making public statements in the near future (Example 1, example 2, example 3, example 4)
• David Grusch has received additional clearances through DOPSR to discuss some of his (alleged) first-hand knowledge of Legacy programs. He has mentioned he may be covering more of this information in an upcoming Op-Ed
• Some commentators have speculated that the architects of the UAPDA (e.g. Sens. SchumeRounds et al) are working diligently behind the scenes to continue furthering serious legislative UAP transparency efforts

Skimmed through this post but need a quick refresher on how we got to this point? Check out this handy Disclosure Timeline to get up to speed.

This past week in Disclosure:

May 13 – Karl Nell is revealed as David Grusch's replacement speaker at the NYC Salt Conference
Karl Nell's presentation – “The Real Black Swan Event: The Controlled Disclosure of UAP and Non-Human Intelligence" – will take place at 5PM on the 21st of May 2024.
Nell is a retired Army Colonel who worked with Grusch on the UAP Task Force, and was quoted in Leslie Kean’s The Debrief article that broke the original David Grusch story:

“[Grusch’s] assertion concerning the existence of a terrestrial arms race occurring sub-rosa over the past eighty years focused on reverse engineering technologies of unknown origin is fundamentally correct, as is the indisputable realization that at least some of these technologies of unknown origin derive from non-human intelligence.”

May 15 – US Representatives urge Defense Secretary Lloyd Austin to explain aerial incursions into U.S. military bases
Rep. Keith Self took to X to indicate a co-led letter had been submitted to Defense Secretary Lloyd Austin, urging him to provide more information related to the (seemingly) ongoing issue of aerial incursions over sensitive military installations.
The group of Representatives involved consists of: Reps. Self, Moskowitz, Ogles, Crenshaw, Norman, Finstad and Rosendale, Sr.
May 16 – Lue Elizondo highlights Pentagon inconsistencies and suggests his (and other whistleblowers') safety may be under threat
Lue Elizondo, former director of the Pentagon's Advanced Aerospace Threat Identification Program (AATIP), appeared on Matt Ford's podcast to reveal inconsistencies in the Pentagon's handling of information regarding AATIP.
Initially, the Pentagon confirmed his role and the program's focus but later claimed all related emails were deleted. However, when an email describing the authorized transfer of AATIP leadership surfaced on Reddit, the Pentagon admitted its existence but redacted AATIP mentions, citing FOIA exemptions.
Elizondo highlighted the Pentagon's pattern of misinformation and mentioned potential personal threats against him and other whistleblowers, stressing his non-suicidal and non-accidental status.
May 16 – Rep. Burchett introduces a new UAP transparency-related bill
Rep. Burchett introduced a new bill that would require President Biden to direct the heads of each federal department or agency to declassify all documents related to UAPs, within 270 days of the bill passing.
While the intentions of the bill are seemingly positive from a transparency perspective, the 1.5 pages of legislation fall short in terms of really moving the needle. Unlike previously proposed legislation such as the UAPDA, Rep. Burchett's bill lacks detail (e.g. a concrete set of relevant definitions and justifications).
May 19 – Sen. Gillibrand faces questions on the UAP/NHI topic during a segment on CBS
Senator Gillibrand reiterated the importance of seriously investigating the UAP issue during a segment on CBS.
Responding to the question of "do you think there really are aliens and UFOs?", Sen. Gillibrand responds diplomatically:

"I definitely don't know, and I think it's important to have full awareness of what's in our skies. We haven't been looking. And we need to look, and we need to be aware."

Things to look out for in the near future:

May

• According to Senator Gillibrand – a public hearing in line with AARO's latest report can be expected soon, saying –"I'll probably have another hearing aligned with that public report.”
• Karl Nell will be speaking at the NYC Salt conference. The talk is titled – “The Real Black Swan Event: The Controlled Disclosure of UAP and Non-Human Intelligence" – and will take place at 5PM on the 21st of May 2024.

Beyond/currently unknown

• Following the UAP hearing on the 26th of July, Members of Congress have called for a select committee with subpoena authority, to “go about the task of collecting information from the Pentagon and elsewhere” on unidentified flying objects. There have been conflicting messages from various Members of Congress on whether this is likely to happen anytime soon. Note – a select subcommittee was formally requested on March 13th.
• Reps. Moskowitz, Luna, and Burchett have repeatedly stated their intent to hold field hearings to overcome stonewalling from the Pentagon and military establishment"I think we [Congress] should try to get into one of these places [housing UAP evidence]...and if they won't let us in I think we should have a field hearing right outside the building...and the military will have to explain why that is." – Rep. Moskowitz (D)It is currently unknown when exactly we might expect that to occur, however as of Jan 12 – Rep. Luna confirmed:"I feel confident that we have enough evidence to move forward with our first field hearing. . We will be announcing details soon."
• Several journalists have indicated that first-hand witnesses of the alleged UAP legacy programs are in the process of providing testimony/evidence to the relevant authorities (e.g. the IC IG) and/or are on the verge of making public statements in the near future (Example 1, example 2, example 3, example 4)
• David Grusch has received additional clearances through DOPSR to discuss some of his (alleged) first-hand knowledge of Legacy programs. He has mentioned he may be covering more of this information in an upcoming Op-Ed
• Some commentators have speculated that the architects of the UAPDA (e.g. Sens. SchumeRounds et al) are working diligently behind the scenes to continue furthering serious legislative UAP transparency efforts

Skimmed through this post but need a quick refresher on how we got to this point? Check out this handy Disclosure Timeline to get up to speed.

This past week in Disclosure:

May 13 – Karl Nell is revealed as David Grusch's replacement speaker at the NYC Salt Conference
Karl Nell's presentation – “The Real Black Swan Event: The Controlled Disclosure of UAP and Non-Human Intelligence" – will take place at 5PM on the 21st of May 2024.
Nell is a retired Army Colonel who worked with Grusch on the UAP Task Force, and was quoted in Leslie Kean’s The Debrief article that broke the original David Grusch story:

“[Grusch’s] assertion concerning the existence of a terrestrial arms race occurring sub-rosa over the past eighty years focused on reverse engineering technologies of unknown origin is fundamentally correct, as is the indisputable realization that at least some of these technologies of unknown origin derive from non-human intelligence.”

May 15 – US Representatives urge Defense Secretary Lloyd Austin to explain aerial incursions into U.S. military bases
Rep. Keith Self took to X to indicate a co-led letter had been submitted to Defense Secretary Lloyd Austin, urging him to provide more information related to the (seemingly) ongoing issue of aerial incursions over sensitive military installations.
The group of Representatives involved consists of: Reps. Self, Moskowitz, Ogles, Crenshaw, Norman, Finstad and Rosendale, Sr.
May 16 – Lue Elizondo highlights Pentagon inconsistencies and suggests his (and other whistleblowers') safety may be under threat
Lue Elizondo, former director of the Pentagon's Advanced Aerospace Threat Identification Program (AATIP), appeared on Matt Ford's podcast to reveal inconsistencies in the Pentagon's handling of information regarding AATIP.
Initially, the Pentagon confirmed his role and the program's focus but later claimed all related emails were deleted. However, when an email describing the authorized transfer of AATIP leadership surfaced on Reddit, the Pentagon admitted its existence but redacted AATIP mentions, citing FOIA exemptions.
Elizondo highlighted the Pentagon's pattern of misinformation and mentioned potential personal threats against him and other whistleblowers, stressing his non-suicidal and non-accidental status.
May 16 – Rep. Burchett introduces a new UAP transparency-related bill
Rep. Burchett introduced a new bill that would require President Biden to direct the heads of each federal department or agency to declassify all documents related to UAPs, within 270 days of the bill passing.
While the intentions of the bill are seemingly positive from a transparency perspective, the 1.5 pages of legislation fall short in terms of really moving the needle. Unlike previously proposed legislation such as the UAPDA, Rep. Burchett's bill lacks detail (e.g. a concrete set of relevant definitions and justifications).
May 19 – Sen. Gillibrand faces questions on the UAP/NHI topic during a segment on CBS
Senator Gillibrand reiterated the importance of seriously investigating the UAP issue during a segment on CBS.
Responding to the question of "do you think there really are aliens and UFOs?", Sen. Gillibrand responds diplomatically:

"I definitely don't know, and I think it's important to have full awareness of what's in our skies. We haven't been looking. And we need to look, and we need to be aware."

Things to look out for in the near future:

May

• According to Senator Gillibrand – a public hearing in line with AARO's latest report can be expected soon, saying –"I'll probably have another hearing aligned with that public report.”
• Karl Nell will be speaking at the NYC Salt conference. The talk is titled – “The Real Black Swan Event: The Controlled Disclosure of UAP and Non-Human Intelligence" – and will take place at 5PM on the 21st of May 2024.

Beyond/currently unknown

• Following the UAP hearing on the 26th of July, Members of Congress have called for a select committee with subpoena authority, to “go about the task of collecting information from the Pentagon and elsewhere” on unidentified flying objects. There have been conflicting messages from various Members of Congress on whether this is likely to happen anytime soon. Note – a select subcommittee was formally requested on March 13th.
• Reps. Moskowitz, Luna, and Burchett have repeatedly stated their intent to hold field hearings to overcome stonewalling from the Pentagon and military establishment"I think we [Congress] should try to get into one of these places [housing UAP evidence]...and if they won't let us in I think we should have a field hearing right outside the building...and the military will have to explain why that is." – Rep. Moskowitz (D)It is currently unknown when exactly we might expect that to occur, however as of Jan 12 – Rep. Luna confirmed:"I feel confident that we have enough evidence to move forward with our first field hearing. . We will be announcing details soon."
• Several journalists have indicated that first-hand witnesses of the alleged UAP legacy programs are in the process of providing testimony/evidence to the relevant authorities (e.g. the IC IG) and/or are on the verge of making public statements in the near future (Example 1, example 2, example 3, example 4)
• David Grusch has received additional clearances through DOPSR to discuss some of his (alleged) first-hand knowledge of Legacy programs. He has mentioned he may be covering more of this information in an upcoming Op-Ed
• Some commentators have speculated that the architects of the UAPDA (e.g. Sens. SchumeRounds et al) are working diligently behind the scenes to continue furthering serious legislative UAP transparency efforts

Skimmed through this post but need a quick refresher on how we got to this point? Check out this handy Disclosure Timeline to get up to speed.

This past week in Disclosure:

May 13 – Karl Nell is revealed as David Grusch's replacement speaker at the NYC Salt Conference
Karl Nell's presentation – “The Real Black Swan Event: The Controlled Disclosure of UAP and Non-Human Intelligence" – will take place at 5PM on the 21st of May 2024.
Nell is a retired Army Colonel who worked with Grusch on the UAP Task Force, and was quoted in Leslie Kean’s The Debrief article that broke the original David Grusch story:

“[Grusch’s] assertion concerning the existence of a terrestrial arms race occurring sub-rosa over the past eighty years focused on reverse engineering technologies of unknown origin is fundamentally correct, as is the indisputable realization that at least some of these technologies of unknown origin derive from non-human intelligence.”

May 15 – US Representatives urge Defense Secretary Lloyd Austin to explain aerial incursions into U.S. military bases
Rep. Keith Self took to X to indicate a co-led letter had been submitted to Defense Secretary Lloyd Austin, urging him to provide more information related to the (seemingly) ongoing issue of aerial incursions over sensitive military installations.
The group of Representatives involved consists of: Reps. Self, Moskowitz, Ogles, Crenshaw, Norman, Finstad and Rosendale, Sr.
May 16 – Lue Elizondo highlights Pentagon inconsistencies and suggests his (and other whistleblowers') safety may be under threat
Lue Elizondo, former director of the Pentagon's Advanced Aerospace Threat Identification Program (AATIP), appeared on Matt Ford's podcast to reveal inconsistencies in the Pentagon's handling of information regarding AATIP.
Initially, the Pentagon confirmed his role and the program's focus but later claimed all related emails were deleted. However, when an email describing the authorized transfer of AATIP leadership surfaced on Reddit, the Pentagon admitted its existence but redacted AATIP mentions, citing FOIA exemptions.
Elizondo highlighted the Pentagon's pattern of misinformation and mentioned potential personal threats against him and other whistleblowers, stressing his non-suicidal and non-accidental status.
May 16 – Rep. Burchett introduces a new UAP transparency-related bill
Rep. Burchett introduced a new bill that would require President Biden to direct the heads of each federal department or agency to declassify all documents related to UAPs, within 270 days of the bill passing.
While the intentions of the bill are seemingly positive from a transparency perspective, the 1.5 pages of legislation fall short in terms of really moving the needle. Unlike previously proposed legislation such as the UAPDA, Rep. Burchett's bill lacks detail (e.g. a concrete set of relevant definitions and justifications).
May 19 – Sen. Gillibrand faces questions on the UAP/NHI topic during a segment on CBS
Senator Gillibrand reiterated the importance of seriously investigating the UAP issue during a segment on CBS.
Responding to the question of "do you think there really are aliens and UFOs?", Sen. Gillibrand responds diplomatically:

"I definitely don't know, and I think it's important to have full awareness of what's in our skies. We haven't been looking. And we need to look, and we need to be aware."

Things to look out for in the near future:

May

• According to Senator Gillibrand – a public hearing in line with AARO's latest report can be expected soon, saying –"I'll probably have another hearing aligned with that public report.”
• Karl Nell will be speaking at the NYC Salt conference. The talk is titled – “The Real Black Swan Event: The Controlled Disclosure of UAP and Non-Human Intelligence" – and will take place at 5PM on the 21st of May 2024.

Beyond/currently unknown

• Following the UAP hearing on the 26th of July, Members of Congress have called for a select committee with subpoena authority, to “go about the task of collecting information from the Pentagon and elsewhere” on unidentified flying objects. There have been conflicting messages from various Members of Congress on whether this is likely to happen anytime soon. Note – a select subcommittee was formally requested on March 13th.
• Reps. Moskowitz, Luna, and Burchett have repeatedly stated their intent to hold field hearings to overcome stonewalling from the Pentagon and military establishment"I think we [Congress] should try to get into one of these places [housing UAP evidence]...and if they won't let us in I think we should have a field hearing right outside the building...and the military will have to explain why that is." – Rep. Moskowitz (D)It is currently unknown when exactly we might expect that to occur, however as of Jan 12 – Rep. Luna confirmed:"I feel confident that we have enough evidence to move forward with our first field hearing. . We will be announcing details soon."
• Several journalists have indicated that first-hand witnesses of the alleged UAP legacy programs are in the process of providing testimony/evidence to the relevant authorities (e.g. the IC IG) and/or are on the verge of making public statements in the near future (Example 1, example 2, example 3, example 4)
• David Grusch has received additional clearances through DOPSR to discuss some of his (alleged) first-hand knowledge of Legacy programs. He has mentioned he may be covering more of this information in an upcoming Op-Ed
• Some commentators have speculated that the architects of the UAPDA (e.g. Sens. SchumeRounds et al) are working diligently behind the scenes to continue furthering serious legislative UAP transparency efforts

Skimmed through this post but need a quick refresher on how we got to this point? Check out this handy Disclosure Timeline to get up to speed.

This past week in Disclosure:

May 13 – Karl Nell is revealed as David Grusch's replacement speaker at the NYC Salt Conference
Karl Nell's presentation – “The Real Black Swan Event: The Controlled Disclosure of UAP and Non-Human Intelligence" – will take place at 5PM on the 21st of May 2024.
Nell is a retired Army Colonel who worked with Grusch on the UAP Task Force, and was quoted in Leslie Kean’s The Debrief article that broke the original David Grusch story:

“[Grusch’s] assertion concerning the existence of a terrestrial arms race occurring sub-rosa over the past eighty years focused on reverse engineering technologies of unknown origin is fundamentally correct, as is the indisputable realization that at least some of these technologies of unknown origin derive from non-human intelligence.”

May 15 – US Representatives urge Defense Secretary Lloyd Austin to explain aerial incursions into U.S. military bases
Rep. Keith Self took to X to indicate a co-led letter had been submitted to Defense Secretary Lloyd Austin, urging him to provide more information related to the (seemingly) ongoing issue of aerial incursions over sensitive military installations.
The group of Representatives involved consists of: Reps. Self, Moskowitz, Ogles, Crenshaw, Norman, Finstad and Rosendale, Sr.
May 16 – Lue Elizondo highlights Pentagon inconsistencies and suggests his (and other whistleblowers') safety may be under threat
Lue Elizondo, former director of the Pentagon's Advanced Aerospace Threat Identification Program (AATIP), appeared on Matt Ford's podcast to reveal inconsistencies in the Pentagon's handling of information regarding AATIP.
Initially, the Pentagon confirmed his role and the program's focus but later claimed all related emails were deleted. However, when an email describing the authorized transfer of AATIP leadership surfaced on Reddit, the Pentagon admitted its existence but redacted AATIP mentions, citing FOIA exemptions.
Elizondo highlighted the Pentagon's pattern of misinformation and mentioned potential personal threats against him and other whistleblowers, stressing his non-suicidal and non-accidental status.
May 16 – Rep. Burchett introduces a new UAP transparency-related bill
Rep. Burchett introduced a new bill that would require President Biden to direct the heads of each federal department or agency to declassify all documents related to UAPs, within 270 days of the bill passing.
While the intentions of the bill are seemingly positive from a transparency perspective, the 1.5 pages of legislation fall short in terms of really moving the needle. Unlike previously proposed legislation such as the UAPDA, Rep. Burchett's bill lacks detail (e.g. a concrete set of relevant definitions and justifications).
May 19 – Sen. Gillibrand faces questions on the UAP/NHI topic during a segment on CBS
Senator Gillibrand reiterated the importance of seriously investigating the UAP issue during a segment on CBS.
Responding to the question of "do you think there really are aliens and UFOs?", Sen. Gillibrand responds diplomatically:

"I definitely don't know, and I think it's important to have full awareness of what's in our skies. We haven't been looking. And we need to look, and we need to be aware."

Things to look out for in the near future:

May

• According to Senator Gillibrand – a public hearing in line with AARO's latest report can be expected soon, saying –"I'll probably have another hearing aligned with that public report.”
• Karl Nell will be speaking at the NYC Salt conference. The talk is titled – “The Real Black Swan Event: The Controlled Disclosure of UAP and Non-Human Intelligence" – and will take place at 5PM on the 21st of May 2024.

Beyond/currently unknown

• Following the UAP hearing on the 26th of July, Members of Congress have called for a select committee with subpoena authority, to “go about the task of collecting information from the Pentagon and elsewhere” on unidentified flying objects. There have been conflicting messages from various Members of Congress on whether this is likely to happen anytime soon. Note – a select subcommittee was formally requested on March 13th.
• Reps. Moskowitz, Luna, and Burchett have repeatedly stated their intent to hold field hearings to overcome stonewalling from the Pentagon and military establishment"I think we [Congress] should try to get into one of these places [housing UAP evidence]...and if they won't let us in I think we should have a field hearing right outside the building...and the military will have to explain why that is." – Rep. Moskowitz (D)It is currently unknown when exactly we might expect that to occur, however as of Jan 12 – Rep. Luna confirmed:"I feel confident that we have enough evidence to move forward with our first field hearing. . We will be announcing details soon."
• Several journalists have indicated that first-hand witnesses of the alleged UAP legacy programs are in the process of providing testimony/evidence to the relevant authorities (e.g. the IC IG) and/or are on the verge of making public statements in the near future (Example 1, example 2, example 3, example 4)
• David Grusch has received additional clearances through DOPSR to discuss some of his (alleged) first-hand knowledge of Legacy programs. He has mentioned he may be covering more of this information in an upcoming Op-Ed
• Some commentators have speculated that the architects of the UAPDA (e.g. Sens. SchumeRounds et al) are working diligently behind the scenes to continue furthering serious legislative UAP transparency efforts

Skimmed through this post but need a quick refresher on how we got to this point? Check out this handy Disclosure Timeline to get up to speed.

First and for most.. Im a teacher.. Teacher ako sa malapit na school dito sa house ko. Even before ko mabili ang property na ito, nagwowork na ako sa school na ito.. Strict ako.. Ako ung teacher na, strict sa deadline, di nagbibigay ng bonus points (in my defense, i let my student earn the extra points, like having correct answers in recitation, writing complete lectures, and the like.), and nang-babagsak ako ng mga non compliant learners (meaning after many unmet deadlines of outputs, many unattended schedule of remedial classes, and many unmet deadlines of remedial activities). Math teachers ako. Mahirap ang subject na tinuturo ko, kaya lahat ng means to help my learners, ginagawa ko, AS LONG AS, hindi nito gagalawin ung oras ko para sa anak ko (my husband is in the military, so you know, hindi malayo ang sitwasyon ko sa pagiging single mom.) Im not perfect. I have my short comings, may mga nalilimutan ako, thats why i always ask my learners to remind me, in case na nalilimutan ko (side effect ata ito ng pagmumulti task ko, at kulang everyday sa tulog). My neighbor (we will call her, ate lyny, not her real name), who is a mother of 2, 1 of which ay my autism, and the other 1 is (we will call him, junel, not his real name), my student in math this school year. Even before the school year start, alam ko na, na hindi gumagawa ng homework itong si junel, at hindi rin nagsasagot ng seatworks, dahil naging student ko cya sa summer class (itong summer class ay hindi pra sa mga failed na learners, alam mo na kung ano yan.) Alam din ito ng kanyang naging class adviser, kasi dati cya nitong math teacher, kaya i advise him na gawin na lang yung mga written output sa school bago cya umuwi, kasi di naman cya gumagawa sa bahay. Ang strategy ko sa written output sa klase ko ay, binibigay ko ito, BEFORE ko simulan ang topics ko for the week. Para magkaroon na ng idea ang learners ko sa ano ang dapat nila matutunan sa topic namin, at mabigyan cla ng maraming time to answer it. I know, i know, puwede ito ma-abuso ng mga learners na madadaya, at i know, marami sila. But in my head, im doing it for those learners WHO WANT TO LEARN, yung interisado talaga na matutunan ung subject ko. Para kasi sa akin, at the end of the day, dapat nilalaban ko ung interest nung mga learners na gusto matuto sa tamang paraan, konti man sila, pero knowing na meron paring tulad nila, ay enough na para di ko sila sukuan. Going back to ate lyny. Well, si junel sa unang 2 grading ay pumapasa pa (barely, 75), pero pagdating ng 3rd grading, aun na, tuluyan na cyang nagfail, hindi na cya nagsstay ng hapon to do his written outputs, di na cya naglelecture or recite, lagi na lang cya nagdradrawing, at even sa by pair performance task, di na cya nagpaparticipate. Nagschedule ako ng remedial class for him, hindi cya dumadating, i gave him remedial activities, hindi niya ginagawa. Bilang neighbor nila, naisip ko, na kaya cguro ito nangyari ay dahil, umuwi ang father niya (seaman), baka na overwhelm cya, alam mo na, baka namiss niya, kaya nakalimot cya. Out of good will, nung umalis na ulit ang father niya at sakto din naman, tapos ko na macompute ang grades ng learners ko, kinausap ko si ate lyny, told her everything, at ung ginawa ko para matulungan sana si junel, at sinabi ko din na, i understand dahil umuwi si husband niya. Mabait naman si ate lyny, mabait cya sa anak ko, kaya nasabi ko un, napagpapasencyahan nila ung pagiingay ng baby ko (f/15 mo) sa gabi hanggang madaling araw, lalo na pag may sakit cya. Nakikipaglaro din cya, at times, sa baby ko, lalo na pag nasa labas din cya sa mga oras na nasa labas din ang anak ko. She told me na, kung pwede ay ipadala ko ung mga remedial activities sa kanya, cya na daw tutulong kay junel, sabi ko naman, at kung un ung gusto niya, ay cge lang, pero pag may tanong, o kailangan ng tulong, mag-sabi (ito ang lagi ko cnsabi sa lahat ng learners ko na nagdedecide na magremedial activities, instead na unattend ng remedial class, dahil alam ko na, may mga gawain ang subject ko na kailangan talaga ng matinding paliwanagan, lalo na kapag hindi ka inclined sa math.) So i did, i sent her the soft copies of remedial activities, even some learning materials, na pwede niya gamitin, pag nireview na niya ung topic kay junel. I also told her na they dont have to print na activities, kopyahin na lang sa papel, at doon na din sagutan, copy and then answer as they say. Also, my only request is, ichecheck ko lang ung activities kapag kumpleto ang sagot at kinopya ang lahat ng activities. Ito naman ay for my convenience, pra isang upuan lang lahat ng pagcheck ko at para mabasa ko kung bakit un ang naisip niya na sagot (baka kasi mali ung nakopya niya kaya, iba din ung sagot niya, so i would know, kung kailangan ko iconsider.) The activities are MOSTLY MULTIPLE CHOICE activities 1-10, and few performance task. Strict ako sa performance task, kasi dito ko talaga makikita kung naintindihan ng learners ko ung topic namin. Kaya, pag alam ko na mali ung sagot, pinapaulit ko, hanggang tumama. So, i told ate lyny ang deadline ng remedial activities. That time, meron pa si junel na 8 weeks para magawa ung remedial activities (about 8 multiple choice activities and 6 performance tasks, alam ko marami, pero kaya naman yan, kasi per topic ung performance task, kaya simple lang din ang mga sagot at dapat gawin as evidence ng sagot, like, Justify in 2-3 sentence, 1 worded problem answer in complete solution, create 1 worded problem then answer, and the like.) I reminded my remedial learners, specially those na pinili na mag-remedial activity na lang, na kung matapos nila ng mas maaga sa deadline ang mga activities, ipasa na agad, pra makita ko kung my kulang o mali, so that, i could tell it to them, and still have time para kumpletuhin, at kung mali, pwede ko maidiscuss sa kanila ung mali nila, and again, have time to correct it. How i remind my students, you might ask? Sinasabi ko ito, every after class namin, maging f2f, or online class man ito. I PM them to their fb messenger accnts, once a week, nung mejo months pa b4 the deadline, pero ung 2 weeks na lang, 1 message them once a day. I message their class advisers, to post the reminder to their class gc and to their pta class gc. Having said this, dinaig ko na ang mga telecommunication company (remind pag walang load, at sa mga promo) sa pagremind sa kanila. Ayaw ko kasi masabihan na nalimutan nila, o kaya, hindi nila alam, kaya ginawa ko lahat ng means to remind them. So, 2 weeks before the deadline, itong si junel ay nagpasa ng kanyang remedial activities, pero ito ay printed na copy ng mga activities, sabi ko sa kanya, copy and then answer lahat ng activities, pinakita ko sa kanya ung instruction na cnend ko kay mama niya at ung isa sa mga reminder messages na cnend ko din ky mama niya, na may nakalagay na copy and then answer. Umalis si junel, pero to make sure na ssbhin niya kay mama niya, nagmessage din ako sa mama niya. 2 days before the deadline, itong si junel ay nagpasa ulit, this time naka hand written na, kaya sabi ko sa kanya, ichecheck ko kung kumpleto, at kung tama ung answer sa pt, then kapag my kulang o mali, magmemessage ako, para kunin niya kinabukasan, at maayos pa. So, my nakita akong kulang at mali, i send the info right away (same day). Gabi ko na nasesend yung info, kasi ginagabi na din ako sa pagchecheck (6 teaching hours, 2 clerical/admin work hou1 hour lunch break. So u see, pag nagremedial class ako, or nagcheck ng remedial activities, lalagpas na ako sa 8 working hours). Like gabing gabi, around 9pm. Ayaw ko kasi maguwi ng work sa bahay, dahil ayaw kong isipin ng mga neighbor ko na kapag nasa bahay ako, nagwowork parin ako. Ayaw ko din kasi na maglakas loob sila na kausapin ako about work or magpasa ng kung ano ano kapag nasa bahay ako. Pag nasa bahay ako, nanay ako ng anak ko, kung kakausapin ako sa bahay, it should be anything, basta walang kinalaman sa trabaho, at ganun din naman ako pag sa school, pag andoon ako, kausapin mo ako about work, not anything outside it. Ayaw ko din kasi kalakihan ng anak ko na nagtratrabaho ako sa bahay. Pag nasa bahay kami, nanay niya ako, at nasa kanya ang focus ko. The following day, around uwian ng hapon, hinihintay ko parin si junel na kunin ung activity niya, gabi na, tapos na ako magremedial class at magcheck, wala parin kumukuha. Kaya the following day, araw ng deadline, pinuntahan ko na cya, pra ibigay sa kanya, and i told him, kung magpapasa cya hihintayin ko ung ipapasa niya na kumpleto at tama, hanggang 5pm. Tinanong ko din cya, bakit di niya kinukuha, sabi niya, di daw niya alam, mejo nag-panting ung tenga ko, pero dahil my gagawin pa ako, sabi ko na lang, basta ipasa niya, hihintayin ko. So 5pm came, nagpasa nga cya, pero, walang nabago, walang madagdag at walang nabawas. So, sabi ko , wala naman nagbago, so i told him kung ano ung kulang at ano ung mali, and i told him, hindi ako uuwi hanggang di niya naipapasa yun ng kumpleto at tama (during that time, my mga kasama na cya na classmate niya na nagpapasa, at marami din naman cla na hinintay ko hanggang maging kumpleto at tama ung sagot.) Ung next na pagpasa niya (4 time), kumpleto naman na ung mga kulang, pero mali parin ung sagot sa pt. Its already late, around 7pm, kaya cnabi ko sa kanya, "i cannot wait any longer, hinihintay na ako ni bibi ___." (Kilala niya ang baby ko, kc nga neighbors kami.) And i ask him, anong gusto niya mangyari from here, kasi di ko na siya pwede hintayin. And he told me, gusto pa niya magpasa, at kung pwede ko cya pagbigyan kinabukasan, pumayag na lang ako, but i told him, pasa sa akin, before recess, kung pwede pag pasok niya ng morning, dahil my meeting ako by 9am (9:30am-recess). Again, hindi lang cya ang pinagbigyan ko magpasa, may ilang student din na nakiusap, at lahat sila pinagbigyan ko. So the following days came, and 9am came, walang nagpapasa. So my meeting started and ended, pag punta ko sa lamesa ko andoon ang ilan sa mga coteachers ko and they told me, my mga student na hinahanap ako at may pinasa. So tinanggap ko na lang, baka kasi nagpasa before recess o kaya during recess. Upon checking the submitted activities, wala parin doon ung kay junel, at hindi lang naman cya ang wala doon. So, lunchbreak came, my mga student na dumating at nagpapasa, i ask them kung bakit di nila pinasa, di daw nila naisip na iwan doon sa mga teachers, nagtanong lang daw cla, given na alam nila may mga teachers doon sa lamesa ko, tinanggap ko na lang, reason: kasi they still have the intention to pass sa oras na cnabi ko. When junel came, tinanong ko cya, bakit di niya pinasa kanina, at ang sagot niya, "wala po kasi teacher dito kanina." So tinanong ko ung coteacher ko, kung umalis cya, sabi niya, hindi cya umalis, umalis lang cya nung dumating na ako. So, tinanong ko ulit siya, di na cya sumagot, so i told him, hindi ko na matatanggap kung ano ung ipapasa niya. Reason: nagsinungaling siya at wala cyang intension na magpasa on time. Sabi ko na lang, ipapamessage ko na lang sa adviser mo si mama mo, kung need mo magsummer classes. Umalis na ung bata. Afternoon came, may meeting nanaman ako, so nilagay ko sa pinto ng office kung saan ako naglalamesa na, meeting on going, come back later. Ung hapon na un, wala na akong inaasahan na magpapasa. Ung last person na magpapasa sa akin,ay 5pm pa ang dating, nakiusap un earlier in the morning, dahil di pa daw cya tapos, at kakausapin daw niya ko ulit para magtanong, pumayag ako. Reason: asked for extension earlier, and express his intention for help. After ng meeting, nagmessage sa akin ung adviser, with a forwarded message from ate lyny, asking bakit di ko tinanggap ung pinasa ni junel niya, stating ung reason ni junel. I told the class adviser, na totoo un, at kung bakit. Sabi ng class adviser, ano daw ssbhin niya doon kay ate lyny, and i told her, kung gusto ako kausapin, puntahan lang ako dito sa school. So the day ended. The following day, kinausap ako ng isang coteacher ko, telling me na itong so ate lyny, around 5pm the previous day, ay nagbubunganga sa labas ng school, telling everyone that would listen to her na nawawala daw ung anak niya, hindi pa daw umuuwi, at dahil daw hindi ko tinanggap ung pinasa ng anak niya. So, kinuwento ko doon sa coteacher ko ung encounter ko doon kay junel the previous day, and told her na hayaan na niya un. Fer hours later, dumating si ate lyny sa office, kasama c junel, at nasa office din ang mga coteacher ko (ung mga nakaupo sa lamesa ko the previous day). Obvious sa mukha niya na galit cya. Kaya i welcomed her, at ung anak niya, pinapasok ko, at i offered na maupo, ayaw. So, nagsalita na cya, i told her, kung ano sabi ng mga coteacher ko, at si ate lyny, tinignan lang din ung anak niya, di parin nagsasalita ung anak niya, sabay sabi, ganyan daw talaga anak niya, di nagsasalita. Then tinanong ko, kung san niya nahanap ung anak niya, kasi nakarating din sa akin na nawawal ung anak niya kahapon, sabi niya, nasa bahay lang pala nila, hindi niya lang namalayan umuwi, kasi di daw nag-mano pag dating. Then sabi ko na lang, facing junel this time, so what do you want to happen now junel, at himalang magkadila bigla si junel, gusto daw niya magpasa, so sabi ko sa kanya, next time tell the truth, nag-oo lang cya, at inabot sa akin ung activities, and also sinabi ko na din na hindi nagbago performance ni junel ng 4th grading, di parin cya gumagawa at nagpapasa ng activity, for that, bagsak nanaman ang grade niya, ate lyny asked kung puwede pa ba gawin ni junel ung mga activity, again i faced junel and asked him kung gusto ba niya and he noded, so i told ate lyny, puwede naman basta gusto ni junel, will forward the activities to her na lang later that day, and i asked junel again kung kailan niya gusto ipasa, ayaw pa niya magsabi nung una, pero sabi ko, ayaw ko na magsabi ng date, kasi hindi naman sinusunod, kaya sila na magsabi, para sigurado na masusunod, and then did told me kung kailan nila gusto ipasa, pumayag ako. Again, marami din nakiusap sa akin ng ganito, at pumayag din ako. Before they leave, humingi ng sorry si ate lyny, sabi niya marami daw cya nabunganga the previous day kasi daw sabay sabay ung dating ng balita sa kanya, my prob din daw sa school ung anak niya na may autism tapos they need money para ipa theraphy ung anak niya, masyado daw malaki ung pera, tapos sumabay pa ung hindi daw tinanggap ung pinasa ni junel, kaya daw kung saan saan daw cya nakapagbunganga, to the point na my kinausap daw cya na principal, asking kung pwede ba daw ung ginawa ko, then sabi daw nung principal, kausapin daw muna ako. Frustrated daw talaga cya the previous day. Naawa ako sa kanya, i feel her eh.. Isa lang niya, dalawa alaga niya, and as a teacher, i know how challenging ang pag-aalaga ng batang may autism at batang nagbibinata. So i just told her, lilipas din ung mga problema, everyone have their bad days, ang mahalaga we learned from them and try harder not to do it again. She left, i send her the activities. And then the afternoon came, 1 of my coteachers came (isa sa mga nakaupo sa lamesa ko the previous day), asking about mr. Albert (a different story), so i told him the story about mr. Albert, and sabi niya, my kinukwento kasi ung bakla (1 of my coteacher na, you know, bakla nga, dont worry, he knows it, and very proud about it.), my parent daw na nagpunta sa office ng coordinating principal (big boss ng mga principal sa isang district) at nirereklamo ako yesterday, nagpapasa daw ako ng "project" tapos nung ipapasa na, hindi daw ako makita, at nung nakita ako sa ibang oras, ayaw ko na tanggapin. And then it hit me, si ate lyny ung tinutukoy niya, so i asked, sino nagsabi sa bakla?, ung friend daw niya na principal, so i asked again, paano nalaman ni friend niya na principal, and it turned out, ito palang si ate lyny, ay nagrant rant sa harap ng coordinating principal habang siya ay nasa meeting with the other principals. So.. Aun na nga, ung cnsabi ni ate lyny na nakausap niya na principal ay si coordinating principal. So.. Im hurt.. She did all of this ng hindi niya alam ang tunay na kuwento. Pakiramdam ko, naloko ako. Naawa pa ako. Ang totoo pala ay, sobra sobra ung ginawa niya. Iniskandalo niya ako. Pero, kahit ganito ginawa niya. Hurt lang ako, pero di ako galit. Naawa parin ako. Hindi bago sa akin ung mga parent na galit kapag di ko pinapasa ung mga learner nila. I dont take it personally, trabaho lang. Pero pakiramdam ko, personal sa akin itong ginawa ni ate lyny. Hindi ko alam kung paano ako makakamove on sa ginawa niya. Sinabi ko na din sa helper ko na, huwag ng palalapitin ung anak ko sa kanila, sa buong household niya. Ganun ito ka-personal. Lesson. May mga teacher na ginagawa ng maayos ang trabaho nila. Malayo ang nararating ng taong mapagkumbaba. Sabi nga ni MS. RACHELL, "stop, breath slowly, in and out, stop, breath slowy, theres no need to shout, you will feel better soon, start by breathing slow."

With our season cut short we look now to the 2nd annual PWHL draft coming up in June. The following players will be free agents, meaning they can sign with whoever starting June 21st: Vasko, Cogan, Leslie, Willoughby, Miller, Howard, Rougeau, Knowles, Munroe, Poulin-Labelle, Howe, Jackson, Keenan, Jones, Kondas.
Everyone else we have under contract but can still be traded until trade deadline (whenever that is). Here's a video explaining how it works just ignore the lottery system since the PWHL doesn't have that. Here's a series from Hockey News profiling some of the players who have declared for the draft.

I had always remembered my deeply rooted envy at a girl at my old high school. Alyssa Howard, Home Room 207. It hadn't been long since I graduated there. I was in Class of '22, in a homeroom that I simply didn't fit in. It was isolating since everyone in my homeroom was in groups of friends, everyone was their own designated groups.
Alyssa was in the Choir group, consisting of 8 girls. They were girls that were a part of Choir Class, an elective that made no sense why I took it. Along with Alyssa Howard, there was Brianne Becker, Fiona Figueroa, Leslie Smith, Hannah Klidford, Emma Kelly, Mandy Lake, and... Karla Reyes. Karla Reyes was one of them I knew very well. In fact she is the reason why I'm typing this out.
Karla was my childhood friend, we met in 5th grade. Her family was from around Texas, and she recently moved to this small town of Meadows Dale. I didn't have friends at that age since most kids thought I was...well weird. I didn't comprehend why I was weird to them at the time, I just simply thought I wasn't cool enough. I remember vividly that I was walking far from the rusty playground, to a hill that pretty much if going more up north, you'll be at the Centennial Park of the town.
That sunny day in 5th grade felt like it was just yesterday. I was walking up a hill, my Elsa shoes making every step feel like a chore. I sighed, looking down at my shoes, feeling embarrassed that my mom had gotten them for me. All the other kids in my grade were wearing Converse or cool sneakers, and here I was, stuck with sparkly, princess-themed shoes. I flopped down on the grassy ground, feeling like the biggest outcast in the world.
I sat there, lost in my own thoughts, I noticed a girl with dark hair and tan skin walking towards me. She looked a bit nervous, fidgeting with her hands as she approached. I recognized her from my homeroom class.
"Hey," she said, trying to sound casual. "These hills look like a pair of butt cheeks, don't they?" She giggled, and I couldn't help but laugh too.
I signed back to her, using my hands to mimic the shape of hills and then making a silly face to show that, yes, they did look like butt cheeks. Karla laughed, and I was surprised. Not many people in my class knew sign language, and it was nice to have someone to communicate with in my own way.
"Do you know sign language?" I signed, curiosity getting the better of me.
Karla nodded, her dark hair bobbing up and down. "Yeah, my aunt was born deaf, so I learned to communicate with her."
I signed back, asking her if she thought it was cool that I knew sign language too.
Karla grinned. "Yeah, that's really cool! I'm Karla, by the way."
“Lily,” I signed my name, and Karla sat down next to me on the grass. We chatted for the rest of recess, discovering that we had a lot in common. We both loved DreamWorks movies better than Disney, and our favorite music group was Fifth Harmony. I was obsessed with them back then, and Karla was too. We both wanted to be like Camila Cabello when we grew up.
From that day on, Karla and I were inseparable. We'd sit together at lunch, partner up for group projects, and even started a Fifth Harmony fan club in our class. Karla would always lend me an earbud so we could jam out to our favorite songs together. Our friendship was effortless, and I felt like I'd finally found someone who understood me.
It was perfect until the start of Freshman year of Meadows Dale High School. I held my scheduler tightly in my hands as I climbed the stairs to the kitchen, my stomach twisted in knots. My heart sank as I scanned the pages, taking in the fact that most of my classes were designated for students with special educational needs. Homeroom and choir were the only exceptions.
I made my way to the living room where my mom was seated, tears brimming in my eyes. "Mom, why do I have to take these classes?" I signed, frustration etched on my features. "I don't need this kind of help. I can handle regular classes just fine."
My mom looked at the schedule, her expression sympathetic. "I know you don't seem to need help, sweetie, but the school requires you to take these classes. It's just protocol."
I sighed, feeling a wave of frustration wash over me. "I'm going to feel like even more of a freak than I already do," I gestured angrily, trying to hold back tears.
From the living room doorway, my father's deep voice cut through the silence. His ears perked up from the conversation. "Hey, kiddo, what's going on?" he asked, his voice gentle.
I signed again, rapidly gesturing my fingers "I don't want to take Special ED classes, Dad. I can do normal classes. I can hear the teachers very well!"
My dad walked over to us, his eyes scanning the schedule. "I know it's tough, Lily, but the school is just trying to help. Plus, You're not a freak. Not in our eyes, anyway. If anybody gives you trouble, I'll personally see to it that they regret it." His tone was lighthearted, but his meaning was clear. He was the sheriff, after all, and his reputation preceded him.
I rolled my eyes, signing, "Dad, please. You're only making things worse."
Ignoring my pleas, he ruffled my hair affectionately before leaving the room. I retreated to my bedroom, collapsing onto my bed in a heap of tears. The night passed in a blur, and soon enough, it was time for me to wake up and face another day.
I woke up to the sound of my dad calling me from downstairs. "Lily, time to get up! First day of school!" I groggily got out of bed, still feeling the emotional hangover from the night before.
My dad drove me to school in his police cruiser, which only added to my embarrassment. I remembered feeling weird being in the cruiser, with its flashing lights and sirens. As we pulled up to the school, my dad turned to me and said, "No matter what, you'll always have me and Mom, okay? We love you, and we're proud of you."
He hugged me tight, and I felt a lump in my throat again. I nodded, trying to hold back tears, and got out of the car. Finally me into the world of Meadows Dale High School.
The enormity of the building hit me hard as I stepped inside. The halls were bustling with activity, and the noise level was overwhelming. The classes flew by, and I couldn't help but feel like my Special ED classes were too easy for me. The teacher aides were sweet, but they were busy helping other students, leaving me to feel like I was just going through the motions.
As I walked out of my Literature class, I noticed a boy sitting alone next to a locker. He had ginger hair and was a bit overweight, and he was using a big headset to listen to music. There was something about him that drew me in, so I walked over to say hi.
He removed his headphones, looking up at me with a nervous smile. "Hi," he said, his voice a little shaky.
I signed back, "Hi."
He laughed, a little awkwardly. "Sorry if I'm a bit awkward. I'm not really used to talking to people."
I signed, "You're not awkward at all."
He smiled, looking relieved. "Thanks. I'm Matt Weston."
I nodded, signing, "I'm Lily."
Matt's eyes lit up. "Sweet. What's your homeroom?"
"207."
Matt's face brightened up. "No way, that's my homeroom too!"
I smiled, feeling a sense of excitement. "That's amazing!"
Matt stood up, walking towards a bookshelf. "Homeroom's next class. Want to walk with me?"
I nodded, following him as the bell rang. We exited the class, and suddenly we were swept up in a sea of students pushing and shoving to get to their next class.
We finally arrived at class 207, which was already filled with students. I saw Alyssa sitting in the back with her group of friends, looking like a star athlete. Matt went to sit in the front seat, and I sat next to him.
Just as we were settling in, one of the guys from Jr high football, Ryan Peterson, hit a football at Matt, saying, "Can't believe we got 'Butterball' in our class."
Matt rolled his eyes, saying, "At least I don't have a father who cheats and spreads gonorrhea."
Ryan's friend, Warren, said, "Ohhh sick burn,"
Ryan huffed, whispering to Matt, "Just because you're special doesn't mean everybody likes you."
I got mad, flipping Ryan the finger, which made him laugh. "You're lucky I ain't telling the teacher, because I don't want any issues with your old man!" Ryan walked away with Warren, leaving me feeling annoyed.
The homeroom teacher arrived, a young guy in his 20s with cedar brown hair and a pair of glasses. "Hello Students! Like that you are all sitting in neatly placed groups. My name's Mr. James and I'll be your homeroom teacher for Freshmen till Senior Year. Hope you excited as I am!"
Just as he was about to start writing on the white board, a beautifully dressed Karla emerged late, looking older and more mature with a lot of makeup on. I looked up, happy to see her, only for her to not notice me and sit down next to Alyssa's group.
Matt whispered to me, "Do you know that girl?"
I signed, "No."
Matt nodded, looking curious. "She looks familiar, but I don't know her name. Was it Kayla or Karly?"
"It's Karla," I shrugged, feeling a pang of disappointment. It seemed like Karla had moved on to a new group of friends, leaving me behind. I don't know how this change happened, since Karla and I went on a trip to Orlando, Florida, three weeks ago. I thought we had the best of our life's during that trip.
I was stumped, watching from afar as Karla chatted with Alyssa and her friends. I felt a twinge of jealousy and sadness as I realized how easily Karla had seemingly moved on and found a new group to hang out with. I mean, I thought we were best friends. It felt like Alyssa had stolen her from me.
I turned my attention elsewhere, not wanting to dwell on it. That's when I noticed a teenage boy sitting alone a few rows in front of me. He had jet black hair and there was something familiar about him, although I couldn't quite place it. I wondered who he was and why he was sitting alone.
"Hey, Lily," Matt said, following my gaze. "Do you know that guy? He looks kind of like a mini Detective Loomis."
I shook my head, signing that I had no idea who he was, but now I was curious too. Detective Loomis had been a family friend for years, and I knew he had a son, but I hadn't seen him in a while.
Matt chuckled nervously and waved his hand as if to dismiss his own question. "Just wondering. He kind of looks like him, that's all."
Just then, the boy turned around in his seat and our eyes met. He raised an eyebrow, clearly having overheard our conversation. "Yeah, that's my dad," he said, a hint of challenge in his voice. "Why?"
Matt shifted uncomfortably in his seat, clearly not expecting such a direct response. "Oh, um, no reason. Just curious, that's all."
The boy, Brandon Loomis, as I now knew him to be, nodded slowly, as if accepting Matt's explanation. Then, to my surprise, he introduced himself with a small smile. "Brandon Loomis. And you are...?"
"Lily Anderson. Nice to meet you, Brandon."
“I'm Matt by the way,” Matt chimed in.
A flash of something—was it pain?—crossed Brandon's face, but it was quickly replaced with a smile. "Nice to meet you both. Your dad's a good man, Lily. He helped me out a lot."
I could only imagine what Brandon had been through. I remembered hearing snippets about his kidnapping a while back, but I had no idea what he must have endured. No wonder he hadn't been in school until now.
"Well, I hope the rest of the year goes well for you," I signed sincerely.
Brandon smiled at me again, and I felt a warm glow spread through my chest. "Thanks, Lily. I hope so too."
As the homeroom continued, Mr. James had us all introduce ourselves and played some icebreaker games to help us get to know each other better. It was actually kind of fun, and it took my mind off Karla and her new friends for a while.
One of the things we had to do was share a fun fact about ourselves. When it was Matt's turn, he revealed that he was the son of Mayor Weston and a great friend of my dad's. No wonder he seemed so familiar! I knew my dad would be thrilled to hear that Matt and I had become friends.
Before I knew it, the homeroom was over, and Matt, Brandon, and I headed out into the hallway together. I was relieved to find out that we all had B lunch, so I wouldn't have to eat alone.
"So, where do you guys usually eat?" Brandon asked as we made our way down the crowded hallway.
"I don't know about Lily, but I usually just grab something from the cafeteria and eat outside," Matt replied.
I signed, "That sounds good to me. I like being outdoors."
Brandon nodded. "Yeah, me too. Although, I usually eat my lunch at Dillard's Diner since I work there after school. You guys should come by sometime. The food's pretty great."
"Definitely!" Matt said enthusiastically. "I love diner food. And hey, maybe we can even help you out sometime if you're short-staffed."
Brandon laughed. "Sure, why not? It can get pretty crazy on the weekends, so any extra hands would be appreciated."
As we made our way to the cafeteria, Matt started talking about his favorite band, Deftones. I had to admit, their music was a little too heavy for my tastes, but Matt was so passionate about it that I found myself getting drawn in.
"You know, you should check out their album 'White Pony,'" Matt said. "It's a classic. My dad actually introduced me to them, and I've been hooked ever since."
I signed with a smile, "My dad's always trying to get me into his favorite bands too. He's a big fan of The Beatles and Queen."
"Oh, those are classics," Brandon chimed in. "My dad's more of a country music guy, but I've definitely grown to appreciate some of the older stuff."
While we ate lunch, I pulled out my sketchbook and started drawing, something I often did when I was feeling nervous or needed a distraction. Matt and Brandon were curious and asked to see my drawings. I showed them some of my anime-style sketches, and they both complimented my work.
"Wow, Lily, these are amazing!" Matt exclaimed. "You're gonna be like Picasso one day."
I signed, feeling my face heat up with embarrassment. "Thanks, Matt. That's really nice of you to say."
Brandon nodded in agreement. "Seriously, you're really talented. I wish I could draw like that."
As lunch came to an end, Matt and Brandon suggested that they walk me to my next class. I was surprised but pleased that they wanted to stick together. My next class was Choir, and thankfully, it was just down the hall.
"So, Lily, do you sing?" Brandon asked as we walked.
I signed, feeling a little self-conscious. "A little. I mean, I really want to sing, but I'm not sure I'm any good."
"Don't be shy, Lily," Matt said with a grin. "I bet you have a great voice."
I felt my face flush again, but I was glad that Matt and Brandon seemed so supportive. As we reached the choir room, I took a deep breath and prepared myself for whatever the class might bring. I slowly pushed open the door to the choir room, unsure of what to expect. The room was dark, but as my eyes adjusted, I could make out the outlines of rows of chairs facing a small stage. The room had a strange beauty to it, with its blue and white color scheme and intricate design carvings. I made my way to an empty chair near the exit, wanting to keep a low profile.
Before long, a flood of girls began to pour into the room, chattering and laughing. I recognized many of them from the Meadows Dale Advanced Academic Program. My heart sank a little as I spotted Brianne Becker, one of the most popular girls in school, deep in conversation with Meg Peterson. They were giggling about some guy they both apparently liked. Brianne's eyes suddenly landed on me, and her smile faded. I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, feeling self-conscious under her gaze.
Alyssa entered the room, and the atmosphere seemed to brighten. Brianne's face lit up, and she rushed over to give Alyssa a hug. "I'm so happy you're in this class!" she exclaimed. Alyssa smiled back, her warm hazel eyes shining. I felt a small sense of relief seeing her friendly face.
Following Alyssa were Mandy, Fiona, Leslie, Hannah, Emma, and Karla. They all seemed to be deep in their own conversations, and I felt even more alone. Karla was telling Fiona about getting her nails done, and Fiona was expressing her dislike for acrylics. I stood up and waved at Karla, trying to get her attention. She had been one of my few friends in middle school, but something had changed between us lately.
Alyssa, however, made her way over to me and offered a genuine greeting. "Hi, Lily! It's so great to see you in this class," she said, her eyes sparkling with sincerity. I felt a small smile tug at my lips. At least there was one person here who didn't seem to mind my presence.
Entering through the red velvety curtains of the stage, a woman with brunette hair, who looked to be in her early 40s, emerged from behind the stage. She had an air of enthusiasm about her as she introduced herself as Mrs. Becker, Brianne's mother. I remembered hearing that they were related, and at the time, I had thought it was sweet that a mother and daughter shared the same class.
Mrs. Becker instructed us all to take our seats and explained that this class was for girls only. She then asked each of us to come up on stage and recite the Do-Mi-Re-Fa-So syllables so that she could group us into sections of eight. My heart sank as I realized I would have to sing in front of everyone.
One by one, Mrs. Becker called each girl up to the stage. Some of the girls had okay voices, while others were truly talented. Then it was Brianne's turn. Her voice was like an angel's, a beautiful soprano that filled the room. Fiona and Emma also impressed me with their deep, rich alto voices. Mandy, Leslie, and Hannah had high-pitched, yet well-controlled voices that blended beautifully.
Alyssa and Karla were the last to go, and they both had perfect voices. Alyssa's voice was like honey, smooth and warm. But it was Karla who really stood out. She sounded like a pop idol, her voice clear and powerful. I found myself getting lost in the music, forgetting my worries for a moment.
Then Mrs. Becker called my name, and my heart sank. I nervously made my way up the stairs to the stage, my hands trembling at my sides. I took a deep breath, trying to steady myself. As I opened my mouth to sing, an awful, screeching noise escaped. My throat instantly sting, as the aftertaste of metallic overwhelmed my mouth. It was so bad that Mrs. Becker immediately cut me off.
"Why are you in this class, Lily?" she asked, a hint of annoyance in her voice.
I looked at her sadly and signed, "I don't know. I didn't choose this class."
Mrs. Becker softened a little, seeing my dejected expression. "Well, you better discuss these matters with a counselor about switching, because there are better candidates out there who want a spot in this class," she said bluntly.
I felt my cheeks burn with embarrassment as I made my way back to my seat at the very back of the room. I could feel the eyes of the other girls on me, and I heard their stifled laughter. Karla's laughter rang out the loudest, stabbing me like a knife. Alyssa was the only one who didn't join in, her face a mask of disappointment. I wasn't sure if she was disappointed in me or in the other girls' behavior.
It was next week, I got out of my algebra class heading towards the office. I had to wait till Monday, since during the first few days, my assigned counselor was not available. I was already antsy of finally getting out of that Choir class, I couldn’t deal another day with a class I clearly didn’t fit in. My schedule in my hand, I pulled the door open, being greeted by the smell of freshly baked chocolate chip muffins. Nervousness ran through me, wondering what type of counselor Dr. Wells would be.
The door was wide agape, leading me into the source of that muffin smell. Sitting there on a working desk, was a man typing on his laptop. He looked a bit exhausted, almost to the point that he slumped on his chair. Tilting my head, I nudged on his shoulders, trying to shake him awake. I couldn’t help but feel warmth radiating in my cheeks.
“Huh? Oh, hello there Lily. What brings you here?” Dr. Wells jolted up, probably noticing how close I was to his face. I backed away, sitting down on a red couch next to him.
“I want to change classes please.”
Mr. Wells nodded off, scooting his chair back towards his mahogany desk. He searched up my schedule, turning his laptop to my view. “Oh, I see. In what class do you want to change?”
I nervously let out a breath, as I finally let out what emotions I was holding. “I don’t know why you assigned me Choir, but everyone in that class hates me. I really need that class changed, Dr. Wells.”
I saw my counselor's lip repeatedly twitched a bit, before he gathered his composure. Dr. Wells looked up from his desk, his kind face softening as he saw me. "Lily, I want to apologize profusely for putting you in that situation."
I signed, feeling a little comforted by his words. "It's okay. I did want to be in that class, but I just... I felt so out of place with all the other girls laughing at me."
Dr. Wells sighed and rubbed his temple. "I'm truly sorry, Lily. I was told you loved music and thought you would enjoy the class. But it's clear that it wasn't a good fit. Do you have another class in mind that you'd like to take instead?"
I nodded and signed, "Art class. I heard my friend Brandon is taking that, and I've always loved drawing."
Dr. Wells typed something into his laptop. “Consider it done. I'll have the change processed by tomorrow, if not sooner. In the meantime, help yourself to a muffin. The library teacher made them for me, and they're delicious."
I smiled and took one of the muffins, taking a bite. "Are you and the library teacher... a thing?" I asked, feeling a little bold.
Dr. Wells laughed, a deep, hearty sound that filled the room. "No, no, nothing like that. Just colleagues. She knows I have a sweet tooth, so she often shares her baking creations with me."
I felt a wave of relief wash over me. It was probably one of the few times I'd developed a crush on someone, and as usual, it was harmless and something I'd get over quickly. Dr. Wells was one of those crushes indeed. I stood up from my chair, feeling much better than when I arrived. "Well, thank you, Dr. Wells. I better head to class soon."
Dr. Wells smiled and placed a hand on my shoulder. "Of course, Lily. And remember, if you ever need someone to chat with, my door is always open."
Later that day, during lunch, I made my way to our usual table with Brandon and Matt. They were already deep in conversation about their morning classes.
"PE is a nightmare," Matt was saying. "All the athletes make fun of me because I'm not as fast or strong as they are. It's frustrating."
Brandon nodded sympathetically. "I heard you beat Ryan on the pacer test, though. That's impressive."
Matt shrugged, taking a bite of his apple. "It was just luck, honestly. Ryan got too cocky and sprained his knee on the seventy-ninth lap. I just kept a steady pace.”
I signed to Matt, "You should still be proud. I bet your dad was happy."
Matt smiled. "He was. It's not every day I get to impress him, especially when it comes to sports. You know how Mayor Weston was a star athlete back in his day."
I laughed, and then took a bite of my sandwich. "Speaking of impressing people, I have some news. I'm switching out of choir class and into art elective. Hopefully, I'll be in the same class as you, Brandon."
Brandon's face lit up. "That's great! I'm so glad you'll be joining us. Art class is a lot of fun.”
Matt nodded in agreement. "I'm happy for you, Lily. But why are you leaving Choir? I thought you loved singing."
My smile faltered, and I looked down at my lap. "It's just... it's not the right fit for me," I signed.
Matt frowned, chewing on his apple. "Is Mrs. Becker too mean? I've heard she can be hard on students who aren't part of the popular crowd."
"No fair," I signed, my eyes pleading with him to understand.
Brandon nodded. "It really isn't fair, Matt. That's why I prefer to keep a low profile. Popularity contests aren't worth the hassle.”
Just then, I felt a tap on my shoulder, and I turned to see Karla standing there, a sad look on her face. "Lily, can I talk to you?" she asked, her voice soft and hesitant.
I hesitated, signing, "Why?”
With a strand of hair tucked behind her ear, she leaned in and whispered, "I want to talk to you in private."
I glanced at Matt and Brandon, signing, "I'll be back, okay?"
Matt nodded, his eyes curious. "We'll be here. Take your time."
I followed Karla to the girl's bathroom, my heart pounding in my chest. I wasn't sure what this was about, but I sensed it was important to her. Once we were inside, Karla pulled out a juul vape from her pocket and took a hit. The sweet smell of watermelon filled the air.
"Want a hit?" she offered, holding it out to me.
I was curious, so I signed, "Sure."
I took a cautious drag, expecting to choke, but surprisingly, I didn't. Karla laughed, "I guess you already know how to smoke. Not so innocent after all, huh?"
I rolled my eyes. "I learned from watching Effy in Skins. It's not like I've never seen it before."
Karla laughed again, a genuine sound that seemed to break through the tension between us. "Look, Lily, I wanted to apologize for what happened in the choir. I shouldn't have laughed. It was mean, and I'm sorry."
I stayed silent, unsure of how to respond. A part of me wanted to accept her apology, but another part was still hurt by her earlier behavior. Before I could say anything, Karla cut in, "I know it doesn't make up for it, but I want to make it up to you. How about I take you to the skating rink this evening? It's one of our favorite places, remember?"
I hesitated, considering her offer. Finally, I signed, "Okay, I guess."
Karla's face lit up, and she gave me a quick hug. "Great! I'll text you the details. See you later, okay?" And with that, she left the bathroom, leaving me alone with my thoughts.
I walked back to the cafeteria, my mind racing. Matt rushed over to me, his eyes full of questions. "How did it go? What did she want?" he asked.
"It went okay," I replied, signing as I continued. "Karla invited me to the skating rink this evening."
Brandon's eyebrows furrowed. "I don't know, Lily. Karla hangs out with those choir girls. I don't think we can trust her, especially after what happened."
I bit my lip, understanding his concern. "What if I sneak you and Matt in too? That way, if anything goes south, we'll be together."
Matt's eyes lit up. "That's a brilliant idea! I'm in."
A small smile tugged at my lips. "It's settled, then. We're going skating."
That afternoon, I waited on the porch for Karla to pick me up. The sun was starting to set, casting a warm glow over everything. My dad emerged from the house, dressed in his sheriff's uniform. "Why are you wearing your uniform on your day off?" I asked, curious.
He chuckled, patting my back. "Got called into work. Something strange is going on. Don't worry, I'll be fine."
I signed, "Be safe, Dad."
“I will, honey. Have fun with Karla, okay.” He smiled and gave me a thumbs-up before heading off. A minute later, a black Chevy pulled up, and I recognized it as Mrs. Becker's car. Karla leaned out the window and waved me over.
I took a deep breath and climbed into the back seat. Besides Karla, there were a few other girls from the choir class—Mandy, Hannah, Emma, Leslie, Fiona, and Brianne. Alyssa was noticeably absent.
Noticing my curious glance, Karla explained, "Alyssa had track practice. She couldn't make it."
I signed, "That's nice."
Brianne turned to Mrs. Becker and asked, "Can we get some McDonald's shakes? Please?"
Mrs. Becker smiled. "Of course, sweetie. Does anyone else want one?"
Everyone nodded eagerly, and Mrs. Becker placed an order for nine shakes. Emma and Leslie wanted vanilla, Brianne wanted the seasonal spice pumpkin flavor, Hannah and Fiona requested strawberry, Karla and Mandy chose chocolate, and Mrs. Becker asked about my preference.
"Mint, please," I said, making a gesture of a mint leaf.
Mrs. Becker smiled. "Mint it is. Anything for my girls."
I felt a warm glow spread through me. Maybe, just maybe, they were starting to like me. I took a long sip of my mint shake, savoring the cool, refreshing taste.
"Chocolate is definitely the best flavor," Mandy declared, taking a sip from her own shake. "Nothing beats the classic."
"Pumpkin spice is where it's at," Brianne interjected, taking a sip of her pumpkin spice shake. "It's got that perfect blend of sweet and spicy. It's like autumn in a bite."
"Are you kidding?" Mandy scoffed. "Chocolate is timeless. It's the ultimate comfort food. Pumpkin spice is just a fad.”
"Oh c'mon! Pumpkin spice is leagues better," Brianne retorted. "It's a limited edition for a reason."
The other girls joined in, each defending their favorite flavor. I snickered at their playful bickering, feeling a sense of warmth despite the earlier tension.
About ten minutes later, Mrs. Becker pulled into the parking lot of a magenta-colored building. The girls piled out of the car, and I followed them inside, curious about our destination. Mrs. Becker turned to Brianne and said, "I'll pick you girls up at 8 pm sharp. I need to head home and take care of your little sister."
Brianne gave her mom a quick hug and yelled out, "Okay! Love you, mom!" Then she joined the choir group, whispering something in Karla's ear that made her smile in an unsettling way.
Karla walked over to me and whispered, "Hey, Lily, I want to take you to our hiding spot. It's been a while since we hung out there."
I brightened at the idea, signing, "I've missed that place. We used to act like it was our studio booth."
“Uh-huh,” Karla led me to an abandoned janitor's closet that was blocked off with a "Do Not Enter" sign. She opened the door, and I slid inside, feeling a rush of nostalgia. I slid inside the small, dimly lit closet and sat criss-cross on the floor, my heart racing with anticipation. Karla joined me, and for a moment, we just sat there, our knees touching, the silence comfortable between us.
"I've missed you, Lily," Karla signed, her expression softening.
"I've missed you too," I signed back, my heart warming at the sentiment. "It feels like it's been ages since we really talked." I looked down, my smile fading slightly. "I've missed the old Karla. The one who was always on my side, no matter what."
Karla furrowed her eyebrows, her face a mask of confusion. "What do you mean? I haven't changed, Lily. I've just matured."
I scoffed, shaking my head. "Matured? Making fun of someone less popular than you isn't mature, Karla. It's just mean spirited."
Her eyes widened at my words, and I could see the hurt flash across her face. "I haven't been making fun of you, Lily. I—"
"Yes, you have," I interrupted, my anger bubbling to the surface. "I know exactly what you and your new friends have been trying to do. You've been pretending I don't exist, like I'm not even worth acknowledging.”
Karla's face contorted with frustration. "That's not true, Lily! You always have to make everything about your disability. If anyone's changed, it's you. You used to be so happy, always laughing and joking around. Now, you just cry and complain when things don't go your way."
I signed angrily, my hands moving frantically. "How can you say that, Karla? I don't mind if you want to be more popular, but you're acting like you don't even know me. You're trying to pretend we're not friends."
Her eyes filled with tears, and her voice shook. "Maybe I don't want to be friends with you anymore, Lily. Maybe you're too held up in the past, too stuck in your own little world. You're a sad, pathetic sap, and I—"
Before she could finish her sentence, I punched her squarely in the face. The force of the blow knocked her back, and she stumbled, her hand flying to her nose.
"I wish I'd never met you, Karla!" I angrily figured my fingers around, my breathing being audible in the small space. "I wish you'd never been my friend! I wouldn't care if you dropped dead right now!"
Karla's eyes widened in shock, and tears began to stream down her face. Without another word, she turned and ran out of the janitor's closet, leaving me alone in the dimly lit space. I trembled as I crouched down in the corner, my heart pounding in my chest. I had never hit anyone before, and now I wished I could take it back. It was rather immature of me to end that way with Karla. Especially when this was the last memory I had of her alive.
Suddenly, a blood-curdling scream pierced the silence, freezing me in place. It was Karla. My eyes widened in horror as I realized what I had done. I rose to my feet and ran out of the closet, my heart pounding in my chest. As I turned the corner, I came face to face with a masked man. He was tall and imposing, his mask was painted like a 1940s woman with green eyeshadow, vibrant red blush, and blood-red lips. His copper-blonde wig fell in sleek waves, contrasting with his all-black suit.
The man walked slowly towards me, his gloved hand reaching out. I kicked him in the abdomen, my fear fueling my strength. But he was too strong. He grabbed me by the waist, his gloved finger pressing against my lips.
"My little flower, I am so happy to see you." he whispered, his voice deep and gravelly.
Before I could scream or struggle, he covered my mouth with a rag. It took a while for the chloroform to finally take effect, as I remembered my last thoughts were about Karla. Sometimes I wished this encounter was just an elaborate prank played by Brianne. However it is never the case.
When I woke up, I woke up to the sound of a girl's voice, soft and melodic. My eyes felt heavy, my body sluggish as I tried to lift my head. The singing was familiar, reminding me of Karla. My heart stirred at the memory of my friend, and I tried to shake off the grogginess that clouded my mind.
As my eyes adjusted to the dim light, I realized I was restrained to a bed, my wrists and ankles bound. Panic surged through me, and I struggled against my bonds, my heart racing.
The singing continued, and I finally located the source—a television mounted on the wall across the room. My eyes widened as I recognized the singer. It was Karla, her face bruised and beaten, her eyes closed as she sang "Once Upon a December" from the animated movie "Anastasia." Her voice was shaky but serene, and tears pricked my eyes as I watched her performance.
I opened my mouth to scream, but only a weakened screech escaped my throat. I tugged at my restraints, desperation fueling my strength. I had to get out of here. I had to help Karla.
Catching me off guard, the door swung open, and the masked man from my encounter at the janitor's closet stepped into the room. My heart sank at the sight of him, and I shrunk back against the bed, my breath coming in short gasps.
He carried a plate of applesauce, his gloved hands setting it down on a table by the bed. "Good morning, my little flower," he said, his voice deep and distorted by the mask. "Your friend has a lovely voice," he remarked. "Have you ever wanted to sing like that?”
I shook my head, my eyes never leaving his face. I mouthed the words, "Let her go.”
The Masked Man smiled sadly. "Your friend has been let go. Don't worry, she's no longer suffering.”
I wanted to scream, to demand that he release me, but my voice failed me. The masked man approached the bed, his eyes cold and unfeeling. He picked up the spoon and dipped it into the applesauce, then brought it to my mouth.
"Open up, sweetie," he cooed. "You need to keep up your strength."
I turned my head away, my body rigid with fear. I didn't want his help, I didn't want anything to do with him.
"Now, now, none of that," he chided, his gloved hand gently tilting my chin back towards him. "You need to eat. And one day, my little flower, you will sing too. And it will be the most beautiful voice anyone has ever heard."
Tears slipped down my cheeks as he forced the spoon into my mouth, the applesauce tasting bitter on my tongue. I choked down the food, my throat constricting with fear and anger.
The masked man set the plate down and pulled me into a tight embrace, his gloved hands stroking my hair. "Shh, my little flower. Everything will be alright. I'm here to take care of you."
I sobbed into his chest, my body shaking with grief and terror. I had no idea where I was, no concept of how much time had passed since I had been taken. All I knew was that Karla was in danger, and I was powerless to help her. The masked man held me until my sobs subsided, then gently laid me back down on the bed. "Rest now. We have a big day ahead of us tomorrow."
With that, he turned and walked out of the room, leaving me alone with my thoughts. I closed my eyes, my mind reeling. The next time I woke, it was to the sound of my mother's sobs. I blinked groggily, my vision blurry as I tried to focus. I was in a hospital room, my mother sitting by my bedside, her face wet with tears. Matt and Brandon, my closest friends, were also there, their faces etched with concern.
"Mom?" I raised one of my hands, my fingers weak and stiff.
My mother's head snapped up, and she rushed to my side, her hands grasping mine. "Lily, oh, Lily, you're awake!" She smiled through her tears, her voice shaking. "I thought I'd lost you.”
I placed my palm to touch her cheek, my throat too dry to speak. Matt and Brandon stood by silently, their eyes filled with relief.
I then asked the big question, signing, "What... happened?"
Matt nervously stuttered, "We... We found you inside an old shed near the skating rink. You were... you were unconscious, and we called for help right away."
Brandon added, "Before that, you were missing for roughly 33 hours. We searched everywhere for you.” His voice cracked, and he cleared his throat, unable to meet my gaze.
"You're safe now, Lily," my mother said, stroking my hair. "That's all that matters. There's nothing to worry about anymore."
I shook my head, my eyes flying open. Where was Karla? I signed, "Where's Karla?”
My mother's face crumpled, and fresh tears slid down her cheeks. "She's... she's still missing, Lily. We don't know where she is."
I closed my eyes, the weight of my guilt crushing me. If I hadn't fought with Karla, none of this would have happened. It was my fault she was still out there, alone and in danger.
The days turned into weeks, and Karla remained missing. The police conducted an extensive search, but there were no leads, no clues as to her whereabouts. I blamed myself, replaying the events of that fateful day over and over in my mind.
Three weeks after my rescue, the news channel delivered a devastating blow. Karla Reyes, aged 15, had been found dead, her body buried near the Yellow Rock River. She had suffered multiple bone fractures, and the unsettling detail—she had been missing her vocal cords and larynx.
I recalled the day vividly, the sun shining brightly through my hospital window as the news anchor delivered the grim update. I had broken down, sobbing uncontrollably, the reality of what had happened hitting me like a ton of bricks. I remember wanting to just die, to pay for what I have done. If I hadn't had my friends Matt and Brandon, I wouldn't have been alive writing this. And yet, I never told anyone about The Masked Man or what had transpired that day—until now. Sometimes I wonder if Karla could hear my prayers, wishing that she deserved better than this, and I'm sorry for causing her death. I took a deep breath, steeling myself for what I needed to say next.
Karla Reyes may have been the first victim, but she certainly wasn't the last. There were 7 more Choirs Girls left.

MM Romance
Kindle Unlimited

• Twisted Fate (Major Arcana #1) by Ken Sanchez - Amazon - (urban fantasy, supernatural, suspense, rivals/enemies to lovers) - 326 pages
  
• Taurus (Zodiac Daddies #2) by Joe Satoria - Amazon - (daddy kink, D/s, exhibitionism, BDSM club) - 86 pages
  
• Brutal Souls (Dark Hearts) by Quell T. Fox - Amazon - (dark romance, mafia, bounty hunter x assassin, grumpy x sunshine, stalking, kidnapping, unhinged cinnamon roll, branding) - 420 pages
  
• First Verse (Get Your Rocks Off #1) by G. Eilsel - Amazon - (estranged friends to lovers, sexuality awakening, bandmates, second chances) - 457 pages
  
• Those Who Favor Fire by Chance Christopher, Bella Liddell - Amazon - (dark romance, manipulation, check CWs, ""untraditional HEA"") - 295 pages
  
• Inevitable (Texas Hearts #1) by Erin Rose - Amazon - (best friends to lovers, college, codependency, cuddling, sexuality awakening, pining, cheating (not between the MCs)) - 322 pages
  
• Sparring Partners (Love's Harbour) by Ali Ryecart - Amazon - (enemies to lovers, small town, opposites attract, hotel manager x farmer) - 277 pages
  
• Becoming His Perfect Daddy (Unlikely Daddies #1) by Lincoln Mercer - Amazon - (debut novel, daddy kink, author x fan, trans MCs, transgender awakening, impact play, online relationship) - 382 pages
  
• First Puck (Puck Daddy Academy #1) by Zack Wish - Amazon - (mafia, hockey, age gap, DD/lb) - 168 pages
  
• Gargoyle Vigilante (Shadow Slayers #1) by M.M. Wilde - Amazon - (supernatural, action, omegaverse (?), mpreg, knotting, gargoyle shifter x human, fated mates, size difference) - 128 pages
  
• Fluffing the Stallion by Stormi Reed - Amazon - (porn star x fluffer, sexuality awakening, insta-love, sunshine x sunshine) - 167 pages
  
• A Very Monstrous Desire (Monstrously Inclined #1) by April Andrews - Amazon - (paranormal, interdimensional rifts, monster x human, only one bed, creative anatomy) - 264 pages
  
• Where the River Meets the Skye by Felicity Snow - Amazon - (best friends to lovers, hurt/comfort, sexuality awakening, past trauma, illness/chronic pain, religious themes, check CWs) - 308 pages
  
• Tell Me Again by Becca Neil - Amazon - (contemporary, small town, best friends to strangers to lovers, second chances, found family, past trauma, virgin MCs) - 317 pages
  
• Pitch Perfect by Ann Lister - Amazon - (rockstar x PA/composer, artistic block) - 282 pages
  
• A Bone in His Teeth by Kellen Graves - Amazon - (dark fantasy, human x merrow, trans MC, horror elements, lighthouse keeper MC, small town, virgin MC, creative anatomy) - 414 pages
  
• Rookie Recovery (Bobcat Boys #1) by Jemma Croft, Lex Veia - Amazon - (age gap, sports, hockey player x PT, found family, grumpy x sunshine) - 374 pages
  
• The Men From Echo Creek by N.R. Walker - Amazon - (historical, forbidden romance, cowboys, virgins) - 400 pages
  
• Sebastian (Paranormal Council Enforcers #12) by Taylor Rylan - Amazon - (series best read in order, paranormal, warlock x cheetah shifter, fated mates, mpreg) - 254 pages
  

Kobo & Kobo Plus

• Of Gods and Boys by Harry F. Rey - Kobo & Amazon - (YA, greek mythology, first love, fantasy adventure) - 281 pages

Other

• Someone to Share (An Erotic Short: Poles and Holes #4) by Kelvin Young - Amazon - (MM+, series to be read in order, relationship in crisis?, cruise, sexual exploration) - 51 pages
  
• A Little's Valentine's Party: Featuring Jacob & Orion (Daddies and Littles ) by TL Travis - Amazon - (age play, Littles' shenanigans) - 25 pages
  

Other Queer Romance

Kindle Unlimited

• The Companion Love Trap by Kris Butler - Amazon - (MMFM, spoke-and-wheel, vacation romance, only one bed, grumpy x sunshine, fake dating) - 282 pages
  
• For Better or Worse (Come Hell or High Water #1) by Amy DeMeritt - Amazon - (FF, established couple, mafia, on the run, secrets, found family) - 377 pages
  
• Little Red and Her Creatures of Chaos (Fairy Tales With A Monstrous Twist) by Ames Mills - Amazon - (MMMF, multi-author series, spoke-and-wheel, paranormal, fated mates, found family, wolf shifters, knots) - 192 pages
  

Kobo & Kobo Plus
No new releases.
Other

• the axiom of love by hannah carr - Amazon - (FF, poetry, debut collection) - 131 pages

Audiobooks

MM Romance

• Close Quarters (Isaiah Ranch) by Romeo Alexander, narrated by Michael Dean - Amazon - (forced proximity, cowboys, enemies to lovers) - 10 hrs 12 min
  
• Buckeye (Nashville Spicy #5) by Casey Morales, narrated by Dan Levy, Joel Leslie - Amazon - (contemporary, psychiatrist x baseball player, age gap, hurt/comfort, found family) - 8 hrs 40 min
  

Other Queer Romance

• Julie Winfield Is Not Getting Married Today by Catie B. Pemberly, narrated by Gillian Wiggin - Amazon - (FF, historical (1980's), runaway bride, strangers to lovers, ""an ending that is hopeful, if not quite HEA"") - 5 hrs 19 min

January 4, 2024
HAPPY NEW YEAR 🎊🕛🥳 I'd like to see how you all are feeling about the content that gets posted here. I sometimes post on my profile,🔥 usually longer articles from scholarly pursuits.
♈♉♊♋♌♍♎♏♐♑♒♓⛎ I have a newer subreddit based on my Tarot content, at tarotjourneys for the most recent content that I have been working on in that subject area. I'm not sure if I will have new subreddits for different subjects, or if I can keep it together here. I am going to be posting and cross posting so join both or don't, just read and connect with me here, or there!
Also next week will be the first contest in the annual anthology📒 that will be good for you guys to start getting involved in this community. Post will go up on the 8th and stay up one week. There is going to be a three week option for submitting and then we will be selecting the first winner 🏆 on February 7th. Announced on February 9th. Next month contest will be February 8th. And so on.🏆🪶🥠🥡
🌹🌹🌹Prizes for the short story and poetry is $100 cash and promotions, as well as a place in the annual anthology! Our artwork is going to be a prize of $50 and featured in materials and online, then it will be a 🌹🌹🌹Anthology chapter👀 introduction, and compete for the cover, with the monthly winners. The same dates apply to the three different contests.👀🌹
Anyone can enter, up to three submissions in each category! First entry in each category is free. Each additional entry is just $10 via PayPal or Cash App. If you don't have the ability to pay, we have a few waiver.
Our sponsors will be featured in the first post so even if you don't want to enter, read about us then!!!🕛❤️‍🔥
🔥This will be a great way to get published! I can't wait to see you guys enter!🔥
This is January 4, 2024 newsletter #2.
This is our featured subject for January. We are going to focus on getting ready for working towards sobriety, if you struggling with bad habits or are addicted to something that's causing you more harm than good - check out the resources, articles and readings that are designed to accomplish the initial assessment of getting clean 🫧🪥. No judgement, no mandatory participation, just some things that are designed to make it easier to start that process.
January 4, 2024
🏠🏡 JANUARY = CLEAN UP YOUR HOUSE MONTH You are the house!🏠🏡

Quotes from Individuals in Recovery:

1. Russell Brand:
   
   • "The mentality and behavior of drug addicts and alcoholics are wholly irrational until you understand that they are completely powerless over their addiction and unless they have structured help, they have no hope."
2. Robert Downey Jr.:
   
   • "Job one is get out of that cave. A lot of people do get out but don't change. So the thing is to get out and recognize the significance of that aggressive denial of your fate, come through the crucible forged into a stronger metal."
3. Eminem (Marshall Mathers):
   
   • "I knew that my first thought was always negative. But now I have learned to just brush it off."
4. Demi Lovato:
   
   • "I had to learn the hard way that I can’t do parties anymore. Some people can go out and not be triggered, but that’s not the case for me."

Cited Readings on Addiction and Recovery:

1. "In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction" by Gabor Maté:
   
   • This book provides a compassionate and holistic understanding of addiction, exploring its biological, psychological, and societal roots.
2. "Beautiful Boy: A Father's Journey Through His Son's Addiction" by David Sheff:
   
   • A memoir that chronicles a father's struggle to understand and support his son through addiction and recovery.
3. "Recovery: Freedom from Our Addictions" by Russell Brand:
   
   • Russell Brand shares his personal journey through addiction and recovery, offering insights into the 12-step program and mindfulness practices.
4. "The Big Book" (Alcoholics Anonymous):
   
   • The foundational text of Alcoholics Anonymous, providing guidance, stories of recovery, and the principles of the 12-step program.
5. "Clean: Overcoming Addiction and Ending America's Greatest Tragedy" by David Sheff:
   
   • David Sheff explores the science of addiction and potential solutions, examining both personal and societal perspective.
6. Anthony Hopkins:
   
   • "I believe that we all have a basic need to feel safe. And when we don’t feel safe, we feel threatened, and when we feel threatened, we tend to react in various ways."
7. Nicole Richie:
   
   • "I have to be careful. I have to live in balance. I can’t stay up all night but then need to be on time in the morning. But I’m finding my way."
8. Elton John:
   
   • "I am a survivor. I’ve survived a lot of things. Life is full of pitfalls, even for someone like me."
9. Jamie Lee Curtis:
   
   • "I was the wildly controlled drug addict and alcoholic. I never did it when I worked. I never took drugs before 5 p.m. I never, ever took painkillers until 5 p.m."
10. "Unbroken Brain: A Revolutionary New Way of Understanding Addiction" by Maia Szalavitz:
    
    • This book challenges traditional views on addiction, exploring the role of learning and choice in the development and treatment of addiction.
11. "Memoirs Aren't Fairytales: A Story of Addiction" by Marni Mann:
    
    • A personal memoir that offers a raw and honest account of addiction, detailing the author's journey from addiction to recovery.
12. "Dopesick: Dealers, Doctors, and the Drug Company that Addicted America" by Beth Macy:
    
    • This investigative work explores the opioid crisis in America, shedding light on the complex factors contributing to addiction.
13. "Clean: The Journal" by Chris Niosi:
    
    • This interactive journal provides prompts, exercises, and reflections for individuals in recovery, helping them navigate their journey.
14. "Ninety Days: A Memoir of Recovery" by Bill Clegg:
    
    • Bill Clegg shares his personal experiences of recovery in this memoir, offering insights into the challenges and triumphs of rebuilding one's life.

Remember that these quotes and readings reflect the experiences and perspectives of individuals in recovery, and different people find inspiration and support in various sources. Always consider seeking professional guidance and support in addition to personal insights gained from shared experiences.

More Quotes from Individuals in Recovery:

1. Matthew Perry:
   
   • "I've had a lot of ups and downs in my life. I've learned a lot from my failures, but the best thing about failure is you get to learn from it."
2. Drew Barrymore:
   
   • "Recovery is an acceptance that your life is in shambles and you have to change it."
3. Rob Lowe:
   
   • "I'm nearly nine years sober, and there's a great quote I read about three years ago that had a huge impact on me. It's from the great Winston Churchill, who said, 'Success is never final, and failure is never fatal.'"
4. Kristen Johnston:
   
   • "I’ve been sober for over 14 years now, and the way I live my life is, I don’t think of it like I stopped drinking; I think of it like I started living."
5. "High Achiever: The Incredible True Story of One Addict's Double Life" by Tiffany Jenkins:
   
   • A memoir that provides a gripping account of addiction and recovery, exploring the author's journey to rebuild her life.
6. "Recover to Live: Kick Any Habit, Manage Any Addiction" by Christopher Kennedy Lawford:
   
   • This book offers a comprehensive guide to various forms of addiction and provides practical strategies for recovery.
7. "The Sober Diaries: How one woman stopped drinking and started living" by Clare Pooley:
   
   • A personal and humorous account of one woman's journey to sobriety, sharing insights and reflections on life without alcohol.
8. "Guts" by Kristen Johnston:
   
   • Kristen Johnston's memoir delves into her experiences with addiction and recovery, providing a candid and humorous perspective.
9. "This Naked Mind: Control Alcohol, Find Freedom, Discover Happiness, and Change Your Life" by Annie Grace:
   
   • Annie Grace explores the psychology of alcohol consumption and provides insights to help individuals change their relationship with alcohol.

These quotes and readings offer diverse perspectives on addiction and recovery, and they can serve as sources of inspiration, reflection, and guidance for those navigating their own journeys. Always seek professional support if needed and consider these resources as complementary to a comprehensive recovery plan.

More Quotes from Individuals in Recovery:

1. Craig Ferguson:
   
   • "I had a simple perception of success as getting things that I thought I needed to be happy. I thought that happiness was success. I don’t think that anymore."
2. Anthony Kiedis (Red Hot Chili Peppers):
   
   • "I've made a lot of mistakes and I don't regret any of them. Sometimes those things take you to the most amazing places."
3. Jamie Lee Curtis:
   
   • "I know my limits. I know that if I drink again, I will die. Every morning I wake up, I make that choice."
4. Steven Tyler (Aerosmith):
   
   • "It’s not about how much you drink. It’s about why you drink. It’s when life gets good, do you celebrate? Or when life gets tough, do you drink?"
5. "In My Skin: A Memoir of Addiction" by Kate Holden:
   
   • A memoir that explores the author's experience with addiction and her journey toward recovery.
6. "Recovery: A Guide for Adult Children of Alcoholics" by Herbert L. Gravitz and Julie D. Bowden:
   
   • This book addresses the specific challenges faced by adult children of alcoholics and provides guidance on healing and recovery.
7. "The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober" by Catherine Gray:
   
   • A personal and practical guide to quitting alcohol, sharing the author's journey to sobriety and the positive changes it brought to her life.
8. "The Recovering: Intoxication and Its Aftermath" by Leslie Jamison:
   
   • Combining memoir and research, this book explores the cultural and personal aspects of addiction and recovery.
9. "Girl Walks Out of a Bar: A Memoir" by Lisa F. Smith:
   
   • Lisa Smith's memoir chronicles her journey from high-functioning addiction to recovery, shedding light on the challenges and triumphs of sobriety.

Newsletter Repeat 🔁 TL:DR These quotes and readings provide diverse perspectives on addiction and recovery, and they offer valuable insights for individuals seeking inspiration and understanding. Always consider these resources in the context of individual needs and consult with professionals for personalized support.
I'd like to see how you all are feeling about the content that gets posted here. I sometimes post on my profile,🔥 usually longer articles from scholarly pursuits. I have a newer subreddit based on my Tarot content, at tarotjourneys for the most recent content that I have been working on in that subject area. I'm not sure if I will have new subreddits for different subjects, or if I can keep it together here. I am going to be posting and cross posting so join both or don't, just read and connect with me here, or there!
Also next week will be the first contest in the annual anthology that will be good for you guys to start getting involved in this community. Post will go up on the 8th and stay up one week. There is going to be a three week option for submitting and then we will be selecting the first winner 🏆 on February 7th. Announced on February 9th. Next month contest will be February 8th. And so on.
Prizes for the short story and poetry is $100 cash and promotions, as well as a place in the annual anthology! Our artwork is going to be a prize of $50 and featured in materials and online, then it will be a Anthology chapter introduction, and compete for the cover, with the monthly winners. The same dates apply to the three different contests.
Anyone can enter, up to three submissions in each category! First entry in each category is free. Each additional entry is just $10 via PayPal or Cash App. If you don't have the ability to pay, we have a few waiver.
Our sponsors will be featured in the first post so even if you don't want to enter, read about us then!!!
This will be a great way to get published! I can't wait to see you guys enter!
This is January 4, 2024 newsletter #2.

5 years after arresting Epstein - nothing. Nobody's been arrested, nobody named under oath was even charged. Who were they? Do you know the names? I didn't even know they were named... why???
LAMINE N'DIAYE
Know the name.
Michael E. Horowitz was in charge of the investigation of the death of Jeffery Epstein while in the custody and care of the United States government, and, working for the JUSTICE DEPARTMENT, had sworn an oath to bring justice. Not just to Epstein (in keeping him alive AND SAFE for a fair trial), but to those he would name, and his accomplices. We got NO justice in this case. Who was responsible for this?
Michael blamed the low-level staff at the prison for neglegence, and misconduct after his team's investigation. He was the Inspector General of the U.S. Department of Justice at the time. His investigation concluded three specific errors:

1. Failure to assign a cellmate. a. For some reason, extraordinarily bizarre and against the MCC's recommendations and insistence that it was required for safety, the prison never got around to assigning Epstein a cellmate.
   
2. Neglegence in monitoring. a. The staff, inexplicably, did not perform their legally required 30-minute checks. b. The staff also falsified reports to indicate that they had done the 30-minute checks, despite knowing they were on surveillance with the highest-profile criminal in the United States at the time.
   
3. Inoperative security cameras. a. Insufficient surveillance had been long-documented at the prison, but was not attempted to be addressed at any point by the warden, Lamine N'Diaye. There was special notice made to the coincidence of Epstein's cell assignment happening to have no camera coverage, despite being the highest-profile criminal in America on a 30-minute watch order before his trial...
   

For reasons only known to Michael E. Horowitz, the blame began and ended with the low-level staff. The guards. The prison's warden, Lamine N'Diaye. That's LAMINE N'DIAYE - was, I suppose, assumed to have no knowledge of what was happening in their prison for which they were responsible. Is it possible a larger, more influential group infiltrated the prison to kill him without N'Diaye's knowledge? No. Not really. It's a prison... They were put on witness protection (there are no existing records of LAMINE N'DIAYE outside of references to their posting as the warden of a major New York prison and references to them in the court cases... 'Warden of a New York prison' is not a position you meander into off the streets with no past. No info on even if it was a man or woman... ... ...
Total blackout of any information at that level (the level of who is the public servant responsible for the death of a man and subsequently the death of a major US political trial).
Someone might almost accidentally believe that Michael E. Horowitz and Lamine N'Diaye were in on it and allowed Epstein to be killed to, oh idk, gain massive profits and be move away under the cover of darkness blaming it on low-level poorly educated prison guards following orders in an area they had NO control over, or say in no security cameras covering.
That's no security cameras covering a cell in a US prison by the way - again the highest-profile cell at that time. Zero surveillance.
Why would a warden who failed to prevent the death of a high-profile inmate be protected and moved like a catholic priest? Why weren't they lambasted? They were responsible for his safety - he died - they were comfortably and entirely secretly moved with the help of the federal government. Today they're either secretly dead, or living in a mansion in Wyoming.
Nobody was caught. There was no justice in this case. They didn't even release the names Ghislane Maxwell DID name in her own trial. It's a sealed record.
Whatever it's worth; five MAJOR names were released by Epstein himself. Hundreds more were claimed. Epstein named: Prince Andrew, Bill Clinton, Donald Trump, Alan Dershowitz, and Israeli prime minister Ehud Barack.
Of these - only Donald Trump, of all people, was exonerated - and by Virginia Guiffre herself. She noted that he was at Epstein's house, but she never saw him partake or be offered any of the uncouth things happening there. She offered none of those consolation to any of the other named people. Trump had also separately noted his distancing from Epstein almost a decade earlier. She insists the rest are guilty men, if you believe her. Idk why she'd stop one short if he was in on it. I think he was a wealthy New Yorker who of course knew another wealthy New York financier who partied.
Others named under oath - others ACCUSED by the verified victims include: Harvey Weinstein, Richard Branson ("'Virgin'"), Elon Musk, Tony Blair (UK prime minister), Al Gore (accused man-bear-pig), Stephen Hawking (yes, THAT Stephen Hawking), Robert F. Kennedy Jr., Peter Soros (George Soros' nephew), Bill Richardson (New Mexico Gov.), Alec Baldwin (the marksman), Kevin Spacey (convicted sex offender - unrelated sexual assault crimes), Chris Tucker (that slap makes a lot more sense now, huh), David Copperfield (magician), Michael Bloomberg, Rupert Murdoch (Media mogul), Noam Chomsky (MIT professor), Mick Jagger (Rolling Stones), Leon Black (Apollo Ltd.) Jean-Luck Brunel, Leslie Wexner (Victoria's Secret CEO), Lawrence Krauss (friend of Albert Einstein), Marvin Minsky (MIT professor), George Mitchell (former senator), Glenn Dublin (hedge fund manager), Tom Pritzker (Pritzker family wealth manager and US politician. Cousin to Illinois Governor J.B. Pritzker), Mort Zuckerman, George Stephanopolous, David Koch (of the Koch family wealth), James Patterson, Tom Barrack, Griffin Dunne, Wesley Clark, and Jes Staley.
And, on the little girl recruitment side of the sex cartel, we've got accused: Naomi Campbell (aging actress), Katie Couric (became friends immediately after his first sex crime conviction in 2009), Sarah Ferguson, Eva Andersson-Dubin, Jessica Roccobono, Courtney Love (when alive), and Peggy Siegal.
Idk about you, but I'd be pretty interested in clearing my name if someone said I was in a pedophile ring under oath. Notice something funny? Not one of those people has been center stage since their accusation. All have 'gone silent' except for Donald Trump, Elon Musk, and Robert Kennedy. All the rest have had a notably massive decline in public activity. Of course - everyone is assumed innocent, until they are proven guilty.

May officemate (si Ms. A) ako dati na nakaka trauma yung pinag daanan. Bago palang ako sa company non tapos nakikita ko sya almost every day mugto yung mata, or minsan, okay sya tapos biglang pupunta ng CR, ayun pala umiiyak na.
Nung one time, sumama ako sa kanilang lumabas nag kwento sya.
Meron syang live in partner for 13 years. Yung partner nya na yun, kakilala ng lahat ng ka work namin kasi kapag lumalabas sila sumasama si guy. Minsan nga daw si guy pa nag iinitiate ng mga gala tapos nanlilibre din. So in short, naging tropa na sya nung mga workmate namin. Almost every day din kapag nandyan si guy (seaman kasi sya) hatid sundo nya si Ms A. Sobrang sweet din daw ni guy, as in parang perfect partner na. Hindi lang sila makapag pakasal kasi on going pa yung annulment ni Ms. A sa ex nya.
Then there was this time daw na parang sobrang paranoid ni Ms. A, iba yung kutob nya. Sinabi nya yun kay guy na there’s something bothering her pero hindi nya alam kung ano. Sinabihan lang sya ni guy na baka stress lang sya, so nag date sila pero di padin mapakali sya mapakali.
Since close nga si Ms. A sa lahat, yung isang ka work namin na babaero nag bigay ng tip sa kanya. Sabi nya, kung na bobother talaga sya hanapin nya yung extra phone ni guy (which we didn’t know na requirement ata sa mga lalaki) Una sabi pa ni Ms. A na walang ganon si guy, pero sabi ng ka work namin imposible daw. Icheck daw yung mga shoe boxes or kaya trunk ng sasakyan baka nandon. Pag uwi ni Ms. A sa kanila, una nyang chineck yung trunk nung sasakyan. Bumungad sa kanya yung gift box na may undergarments ng babae and ring box with engagement ring inside. naiiyak sya sa surprise na nakita nya. When she checked the ring, narealized nya na maliit yung size. Pag sukat nya, confirmed nga na hindi para sa kanya yung singsing. Nung hinalughog nya rin yung sasakyan ni guy, don nya nakita yung extra phone na sinasabi nung ka work namin.
Sa sobrang galit nya he confronted guy, tapos di daw tumangi. umiyak lang daw ng umiyak sa kanya at paulit ulit na nag sosorry. sabi din ni guy na bigyan sya ng two weeks, aayusin nya lahat ng kagaguhang ginawa nya.
After that confrontation umalis si guy sa bahay nila. Si Ms. A, hindi nya alam kung anong gagawin kasi di malinaw sa kanya lahat eh. walang explanation na binigay si guy kung ano ba yung kasalanang ginawa nya or kung para kanino yung mga nakita nya. She waited for two weeks for guy. After two weeks wala pading paramdam sakanya, don nya sya nag tanong sa kamag anak ni guy saka sa ibang friends. nalaman nya na si guy, naka buntis ng iba at ikakasal na. Hindi lang malinaw sa kanya kung yung baby na dinadala nung girl is firts baby nila ni guy or second baby na. Kasi nung inistalk nya yung FB nung girl, nakita nyang may 6 y.o na anak daw yung girl and hawig daw yun ni guy. tapos kasama din si guy sa mga ilang pictures nung baby pa yung bata.
Ang pinaka masakit, alam nung parents ni guy yung relationship nya doon sa kabit na girl pero okay lang sa kanila. Ang sabi nga, yung mother ni guy yung nag insist kay guy na pakasalan yung kabit bago manganak.
After hearing her story feeling ko ako yung naloko ng sobra. Damang dama ko yung pain na nafefeel nya. Kaya pala lagi syang tulala sa office or minsan bigla bigla nalang naiiyak kasi nakaka trauma pala talaga yung pinag daanan nya. May times pa na after two months ata yun na walang parandam si guy, biglang may nag padala ng bouquet of flowers kay Ms. A, walang nakalagay kung kanino galling pero same na same daw yung arrangements nung flowers sa mga narerecieve nya noon from guy. may note din na nakalagay na “I miss you so much” ata yun.

Nothing. Nobody's been arrested, nobody named under oath was even charged. Who were they? Do you know the names? I didn't even know they were named... why???

LAMINE N'DIAYE

Know the name.


Michael E. Horowitz was in charge of the investigation of the death of Jeffery Epstein while in the custody and care of the United States government, and, working for the JUSTICE DEPARTMENT, had sworn an oath to bring justice. Not just to Epstein (in keeping him alive AND SAFE for a fair trial), but to those he would name, and his accomplices. We got NO justice in this case. Who was responsible for this?

Michael blamed the low-level staff at the prison for neglegence, and misconduct after his team's investigation. He was the Inspector General of the U.S. Department of Justice at the time. His investigation concluded three specific errors:

1. Failure to assign a cellmate.

a. For some reason, extraordinarily bizarre and against the MCC's recommendations and insistence that it was required for safety, the prison never got around to assigning Epstein a cellmate.

1. Neglegence in monitoring.

a. The staff, inexplicably, did not perform their legally required 30-minute checks.
b. The staff also falsified reports to indicate that they had done the 30-minute checks, despite knowing they were on surveillance with the highest-profile criminal in the United States at the time.

3. Inoperative security cameras.
a. Insufficient surveillance had been long-documented at the prison, but was not attempted to be addressed at any point by the warden, Lamine N'Diaye. There was special notice made to the coincidence of Epstein's cell assignment happening to have no camera coverage, despite being the highest-profile criminal in America on a 30-minute watch order before his trial...

For reasons only known to Michael E. Horowitz, the blame began and ended with the low-level staff. The guards. The prison's warden, Lamine N'Diaye. That's LAMINE N'DIAYE - was, I suppose, assumed to have no knowledge of what was happening in their prison for which they were responsible. Is it possible a larger, more influential group infiltrated the prison to kill him without N'Diaye's knowledge? No. Not really. It's a prison... They were put on witness protection (there are no existing records of LAMINE N'DIAYE outside of references to their posting as the warden of a major New York prison and references to them in the court cases... 'Warden of a New York prison' is not a position you meander into off the streets with no past. No info on even if it was a man or woman... ... ...

Total blackout of any information at that level (the level of who is the public servant responsible for the death of a man and subsequently the death of a major US political trial).

Someone might almost accidentally believe that Michael E. Horowitz and Lamine N'Diaye were in on it and allowed Epstein to be killed to, oh idk, gain massive profits and be move away under the cover of darkness blaming it on low-level poorly educated prison guards following orders in an area they had NO control over, or say in no security cameras covering.

That's no security cameras covering a cell in a US prison by the way - again the highest-profile cell at that time. Zero surveillance.

Why would a warden who failed to prevent the death of a high-profile inmate be protected and moved like a catholic priest? Why weren't they lambasted? They were responsible for his safety - he died - they were comfortably and entirely secretly moved with the help of the federal government. Today they're either secretly dead, or living in a mansion in Wyoming.

Nobody was caught. There was no justice in this case. They didn't even release the names Ghislane Maxwell DID name in her own trial. It's a sealed record.

Whatever it's worth; five MAJOR names were released by Epstein himself. Hundreds more were claimed. Epstein named: Prince Andrew, Bill Clinton, Donald Trump, Alan Dershowitz, and Israeli prime minister Ehud Barack.

Of these - only Donald Trump, of all people, was exonerated - and by Virginia Guiffre herself. She noted that he was at Epstein's house, but she never saw him partake or be offered any of the uncouth things happening there. She offered none of those consolation to any of the other named people. Trump had also separately noted his distancing from Epstein almost a decade earlier. She insists the rest are guilty men, if you believe her. Idk why she'd stop one short if he was in on it. I think he was a wealthy New Yorker who of course knew another wealthy New York financier who partied.

Others named under oath - others ACCUSED by the verified victims include: Harvey Weinstein, Richard Branson ("'Virgin'"), Elon Musk, Tony Blair (UK prime minister), Al Gore (accused man-bear-pig), Stephen Hawking (yes, THAT Stephen Hawking), Robert F. Kennedy Jr., Peter Soros (George Soros' nephew), Bill Richardson (New Mexico Gov.), Alec Baldwin (the marksman), Kevin Spacey (convicted sex offender - unrelated sexual assault crimes), Chris Tucker (that slap makes a lot more sense now, huh), David Copperfield (magician), Michael Bloomberg, Rupert Murdoch (Media mogul), Noam Chomsky (MIT professor), Mick Jagger (Rolling Stones), Leon Black (Apollo Ltd.) Jean-Luck Brunel, Leslie Wexner (Victoria's Secret CEO), Lawrence Krauss (friend of Albert Einstein), Marvin Minsky (MIT professor), George Mitchell (former senator), Glenn Dublin (hedge fund manager), Tom Pritzker (Pritzker family wealth manager and US politician. Cousin to Illinois Governor J.B. Pritzker), Mort Zuckerman, George Stephanopolous, David Koch (of the Koch family wealth), James Patterson, Tom Barrack, Griffin Dunne, Wesley Clark, and Jes Staley.

And, on the little girl recruitment side of the sex cartel, we've got accused: Naomi Campbell (aging actress), Katie Couric (became friends immediately after his first sex crime conviction in 2009), Sarah Ferguson, Eva Andersson-Dubin, Jessica Roccobono, Courtney Love (when alive), and Peggy Siegal.

Idk about you, but I'd be pretty interested in clearing my name if someone said I was in a pedophile ring under oath. Notice something funny? Not one of those people has been center stage since their accusation. All have 'gone silent' except for Donald Trump, Elon Musk, and Robert Kennedy. All the rest have had a notably massive decline in public activity. Of course - everyone is assumed innocent, until they are proven guilty.

Gusto ko lang magkwento kasi wala akong masabihan.
Hiwalay yung nanay at tatay ko. Second family kami ng tatay ko, and ngayon, may third family na sya. Retired seaman sya pero hindi sya nag bibigay ng sustento sa bunsong kapatid ko kasi lagi nyang sinasabi, wala daw syang pera. So ako nag paaral sa kapatid ko. Yung nanay ko naman, nag aalaga ng apo nya sa kapatid kong lalaki and dun sila nakatira sa bahay namin. Ako, humiwalay na ako. Since parehas na parents ko walang trabaho, ako nag papaaral sa kapatid kong bunso na nasa college. Sa private sya nag aaral and ako nag babayad ng tuition nya which is around 16k a month. Nanay ko naman nagbibigay sa pang dorm nya na 3.5k and allowance na 2k a week. May paupahan kasi sya. Pero pag hindi nagbabayad yung umuupa sakanya on time or pag nashoshort yung kapatid ko, humihingi pa rin sila sakin ng pera. May time na ako magbabayad ng dorm ng kapatid ko or mag bibigay ako ng 1-3k kasi di sya binigyan ng baon na nanay namin. Then nund december, since late magbayad yung mga umuupa sa nanay ko, naputulan sila ng kuryente. Nag abot ako ng 7k sa nanay ko pambayad (partial payment kasi nasa 10k yung kuryente nya) pero di nya napareconnect kasi nagastos daw nya yung pera. Then nag abot ako ng 5k para makumpleto pati reconnection fee and all kasi I was under the impression na hawak pa nya yung unang binigay ko. Pero nagastos pa rin nya. Nagamit daw nila sa pang araw araw nila dun sa bahay. And since wala silang kuryente, sakin sila tumira. Dahil ayoko ng naiinvade yung personal space ko, nagbigay na ako ng buong 15k and dun lang nakabit yung kuryente ulit nila. Then this year, nagkasakit yung kapatid ko. Sinundo ko sya sa dorm and pinacheck up. Long story short, umabot ako ng 80k sa gamot, check up and laboratory nya. Ako lang kasi yung gumagastos. Yung 80k na yan, inutang ko lang din. So nung nagkaron ako ng pera, sinettle ko yung kalahati at kinuhaan ko sya ng HMO. Few weeks in, naospital na naman sya. Nagamit nya yung HMO pero naglabas pa rin ako sa gamot. Then afte rilang weeks ulit, naconfine sya. Nacover naman ng HMO pero may binayaran pa rin ako. Naalala ko nyan, nag birthday pa ako sa city hall kasi ako pa naglakad ng philhealth nya. Few weeks ulit after nung nadischarge sya, ako naman ang nagkasakit. Feeling ko binawian ako ng katawan ko. Pero yung kapatid ko, hindi pa rin nakaka recover. Sinabihan ko yung nanay ko na dalhin na nya sa PGH or sa public hospital samin, pero hindi sila naadmit. Yung public hospital naman samin, naka wheelchair lang daw sya at walang kwarto. Nagrereklamo yung kapatid ko and gusto daw sa private na hospital sya dalhin. Ubos na ubos na ako sakanila. Pinadala ko na yung huling pera ko sakanila pero they wanted more. Ako na yung walang pang pacheck up sa sarili and negative na yung laman ng bangko. Hindi ko na alam gagawin ko. Torn ako na umutang pa ulit para magamot lang sya pero iniisip ko rin at the same time, pano yung pambabayad ko. Nasa early 30s na ko pero wala pa rin akong nasasave para sa sarili ko. Ang hirap maging panganay, lahat ng financial responsibility ng tatay ko, napunta sakin. And yung decision making responsibility ng nanay, pinasa na din sakin.