Morning. Just an opinion, obviously, and might be an obvious one to some, but not all, and the tl;dr: We need to sell before we buy new players.
Outside of DM, I personally think we need to get rid before we buy, in other positions. We have a lot of players on the books. Look at Man City's current squad, they actually don't have a huge squad, and use some youth like Lewis and Bobb, and they compete on 4 fronts every season, yes it is a good expensive squad, but not huge. With the loan players returning, we most definitely need to sell before buying any other players. And that's not factoring in FFP.
I know people are dreaming about new signings, and some think we NEED and HAVE to strengthen with the Champions League, but I don't think it is particularly realistic unless we have buyers for the deadwood and buyers for the non key players, and maybe even a buyer for a star like Luiz or Ramsey if we got a good fee, if we were to do a bigger rebuild or spend big.
Factoring in FFP, it sounds like we are actually ok with FFP this year? I.e. no potential points deductions for us... But we have little wiggle room for any new signings. Champs League bumps in current players pay has no doubt had an effect too on budgets - I think CL money received will factor into next years ffp cycle? Might be wrong!
So who we sell will determine who/how many players we sign. And selling players is tough, as we full well know! Sadly it isn't like Fifa!:
ST: Watkins, Duran, Archer°
SS: McGinn, Buendia, Coutinho°, Kellyman
LW: Ramsey?, Rogers
RW: Bailey, Diaby
CM: Luiz?, Tielemans
DM: Kamara, Iroegbunham, Dendoncker°
LB: Moreno, Digne•, Sousa
LCB: Torres, Mings, Hause°
RCB: Konsa, Carlos•, Chambers°
RB: Cash•, Kosta, Kesler
GK: Martinez, Gauci, Olsen°, Sinisalo/Marschall
Btw, this is just for visual purposes, please don't be angry if Mings or Digne etc isn't the 1st choice in it. Pick whoever you want👍
° i expect will be sold and would sell. And we still have a big squad when moving these on.
• i would sell for a reasonable fee, if we got one, to sign better &/or reduce wage bill
? Potential sale for big fee (I don't want to happen)
The obvious position that is weakest is DM, given Unai clearly does not trust Tim and we want to sell Donk. With Kamara injured till October, we simply need a DM in.
But other than that, depth is actually there, and quality is not bad . Quite unprecedented the amount of injuries we have had to key players this season. And when one comes back, another seemed to be out. Don't think I can recall so many injuries throughout the season as a whole, not since Houllier's season, and it is worse than then as well. We have only had 11/12 senior players for last few games too. If we have better luck with injuries, top 4 probably would have been secured long ago, and we may have got to the final of the UECL too. We started last season without Buendia, Mings*, Ramsey, Moreno - 4 key squad players, we should have them this time. Ramsey and Moreno haven't had a Pre season with Emery yet, nor has Rogers, Sousa, Kosta, and Gauci. Duran should improve. Diaby has had a year to settle and still put up decent 1st season numbers. Torres too. Tielemans has been brilliant after a slow start. Kamara will be back in autumn.
There is real reasons to still be hopeful for the new season if we are hamstrung by a bloated squad and/or FFP if you are one of those where it is transfers and transfers only which is what get you excited about a season. Feel like this paragraph needs to be stated, the way I see some act in transfer season 🤗 UTV

The moment a lot of you have been waiting for is here!
A couple of notes before you read (or after because I would just jump into the list right away too)

1. Direct quotes from Ali herself are in italics.
2. I tried my best to keep everything in timeline order. Some people like The Come Back Kid I placed in the order where they reconnected/talked about on the pod. But I did my best to note this.
3. All this information came from the FMH podcast, the Patreon, the original FMH blog, TikTok and other podcast that feature FMH/Ali. I also crossed reference information with this sub. I got most of this done with the help of the Patreon and listening to 1.75x speed but I lost accessed to the Patreon because my subscription ended.
4. I'm open to edits! Things around the matchmaker era confused me and if anything is incorrect or if I'm missing someone, please let me know! I will note where corrections are made.
5. Some people don't have anything simply because only a name was said or I couldn't find any details about the person/date
6. And of course, please be respectful of all the sub rules!

Names on the original FMH blog

• Mr. Adorable aka The Coach
• Trouble
• Waffles
• Future Husband Brian (FHB)
• Cookie
• Peter Pan
• Ambiguous Goodbye Guy
• Bad Bitch Man

AOL chatroom Boyfriend
Mentioned on Tiktok and on the pod once
Myspace Boyfriend
Mentioned on Tiktok
Third Boyfriend
Met on eCrush.com in 2002 and this was mentioned on the Cracked Up podcast, The Dave Glaser Podcast and Tiktok
The Kiwi
Met on a 2 week Model UN type youth trip in high school when Ali was 15, never a boyfriend but she had a huge crush on him, he tried to kiss Ali and she literally ran away, didn’t talk the rest of the trip but exchanged numbers and screen names (Ali’s was FineGal13 or BeachJewel760), she made him a mixtape cd called “Ali’s really cool mix for The Kiwi” but never sent it and she still has it. In 2021, he DM’d her when she posted photos of her and her mom in France and invites her to visit him in London, she says she can’t but says they should catch up if he comes to NYC
Fourth Boyfriend
Met on OkCupid when you had to use it on the computer, this was mentioned on Tiktok
The Homecoming Date or Light Switch
First boyfriend? (she goes back and forth calling him her first bf or a situationship), a family friend, a month younger than Ali, dated in high school but went to different high schools, football player, made him ask her to her Homecoming dance over email (her words), Ali hid in the bathroom the whole Homecoming dance, 3-4 revisits of this situations as adults, saw him on Bumble a few years ago and texted him that he had a typo in his bio, “he very much wanted to be with me” and now he’s married with a kid. His mom is still “obsessed” with Ali and she listens to FMH
Random college guy
Freshman year of college, Ali doesn’t have a nickname for him/doesn’t remember his real name, met this guy through a friend, was texting him to invite him over to hot tub but her phone autocorrected to “how about some hot rubbing tonight?” but Ali didn’t noticed/didn’t correct it and he never replied, Ali had a house party and got really drunk and was all over him, he left the party early, she messaged him on MySpace 3-4 times asking why he left
The Resident
Matched on Match.com, first guy she dated in NYC after college, older than Ali, a doctor, lasted 3 months ”maybe”, he didn’t like Ali’s friends, got a card from him on her birthday and it said “Love, The Resident” and it took Ali back a little, Ali drinks black coffee because of him, he coordinated having her mom visit NYC for her birthday then he broke up with her a week later
The Ghost
Met at a bar when she was 25, turns out they matched on OkCupid and they already had a date scheduled next week, they dated for 6-8 weeks, had sleepovers, “The worst ghosting experience I’ve ever had”, he borrowed The Great Gatsby from Ali’s roommate, planned to make dinner together after a beach trip in August with her friends and never showed up, Ali is blowing up his phone and gets no reply, two weeks later she finally texts “are you alive? check yes or no” and he responds “Yes”, Ali then ask if he could return the book and gets no reply again, 5 months go by and she receives the book in the mail with the note: “Here’s the book back. Sorry. P.S. sorry about last summer. I was in a bad place. You’re a great person and your salmon is amazing”, since then she has ran into him twice on the streets and matched with him on Bumble
The Coach/Mr. Adorable
First serious boyfriend at 26/27 in 2013, matched on Match.com or met through work depending if you’re listening to the pod or reading her OG blog, clean-cut look, played volleyball, Ali invited him to a friend’s birthday party and they made out in the streets at 4am, on their second date he asked Ali if she was seeing any one and when Ali said no he ask her to be his girlfriend 3 days after their first date, dated for almost 1.5 years or almost 2 years depending on if you’re listening to the pod or the Patreon, first time saying “I love you” to a guy, “lovely guy“, never would posted Ali on his instagram until Ali said something, he “lived” with her for two weeks while he was in between apartments, tried blind folding/hair pulling during sex and she didn’t like it, by the end of their relationship Ali didn’t like sex and thought she wasn’t a very sexual person, after they broke up Ali drunk texted him at 2am and he picked her up and she spent the night and she took her things in the morning in a rolly suitcase, from her blog in 2015: “I just want to be careful I don’t end up with another Mr. Adorable situation, where I find myself dating my platonic best friend”, had drinks with him in 2016 from the blog: “Not in a romantic way (at least on my end)”, Ali still talks to him sometimes through casual instagram DMs, he’s currently (as of 2021) dating someone for 4+ years and Ali thinks they’re going to get engaged
Trouble
OG 2015 FMH blog, never mentioned on the pod, “I was immediately enamored with him”, met at a Beer Olympic party but he worked with one of Ali’s best friends (Ali was still dating The Coach at the time), lived in BK, tattoos and stubble, Ali’s best friend said he was a “fuck boy”, “he very much made me see that it was the right thing for me and The Coach to not be together”, from her blog in 2015: “he has this look in his eye like he’s constantly laughing at me – in a super sexy way”, he texted her saying he didn’t see anything romantically with her and she sent a gif of someone shrugging
Personal side note: Ali has mentioned she has cheated on someone but never disclosed who she cheated on or with. I feel like she cheated on Mr.A/The Coach with Trouble because of the timeline. Just a guess.
Waffles
Matched on Bumble, OG 2015 FMH blog, he asked Ali fuck/marry/kill breakfast foods, dated 2 months around summer time, on Fourth of July while watching fireworks he said how they had a great day and Ali replied with something along the lines with “yeah, it would be better if I could call you my boyfriend”, he said he wanted a relationship but just not with Ali and shortly afterwards they stopped seeing each other
The Buffalo
Lived in Buffalo NY, 6’5, Scorpio, met in 2015 at Adults National volleyball (Ali’s team won that year) where he was heckling her while she was playing, asks Ali’s mom for her number and Ali’s mom said “I guess you’re tall enough” and told him to ask her himself, he flew her out and she met his parents, dated over summer, exclusive but never boyfriend/girlfriend (but called him her LD boyfriend on TikTok), texted and talked on the phone a lot, Ali’s best friend’s favorite ex “they had really good banter”, in October he invited her to his cousins wedding and she invited him to her friends wedding, after Ali bought her ticket to his cousins wedding (with the promise he would buy her ticket to her friend’s wedding) he ghosted and stonewalled her, she “poured her heart out to him on voicemail” and he never replied, she asked him to pay her back for her ticket and he got mad that she “made this about money”, 2 years later he told Ali that he freaked out because he really liked her and saw a future with her but knew she would never move to Buffalo and it would “never work”, Ali said at the time she would have considered moving for him, Ali used to have him blocked on Facebook and told all her friends not to update her on info about him (unless she asked). He’s now married and goes to Disney with his wife (which Ali kind of scoffs at?), Ali said on TikTok that she dodged a bullet
Baby Bic
Met him at Adults National years ago, had a flirtationship with him in 2016 when he was 19 years old, ran into him at the Adults Nationals 2021, last texts she got from him were about getting his fake ID taken away at the bar and him visiting her in NYC but Ali didn’t want to buy him beer and drink at her apartment
The Chef
Matched on Tinder around 2016, he loved karaoke, “total shit”, asked Ali to be his girlfriend and to meet his mom after a month, off and on dating, broke up the first time because he was talking to his ex, lied and flew to Mexico to see his ex while dating Ali, that ex sent Ali a Snapchat of them in bed together on that Mexico trip, Ali broke up with him via text and called him a shitty boyfriend, he’s the reason Ali deleted her Snapchat because of drunk Snaps he would send post break up, FB messaged Ali 6 years later (while Roark was visiting/staying with Ali) and said sorry for being a shit head. Ali’s best friends hated him
The Dentist
Met on Halloween in the wild, Canadian, dated NYE 2016- May 2017 “nice guy, not my guy”, one of Ali’s best friend’s favorite ex “he adored you, “he was too sweet for me” and “he had no edge to him”, he painted Ali’s cat for her 30th birthday but she was annoyed it was just Rory and not both cats, The Chef texted Ali while on a date/sleeping at his house
ASV - Aspiring Sober Vegan
Met through a friend (her best guy friend’s college roommate) the day before she had to fly out to her dad’s memorial, a doctor, into meditation, remembered him “being cuter” when they went on a first date, felt “the spark”, had “omg this is awesome sex”, Ali described this relationship as a “slow burn” and “the most attracted she ever been to a partner” even thought she didn’t think he was that cute in the beginning, dated 2-3 months before he tried to ghost Ali but they talked and broke up, four months later they start casually dating/FWB because he’s moving but this turns into a ‘middle distance relationship’ and he moves to Philly, had a lot of communication issues but didn't have a lot of fights, wants to live in Ohio and give a % of his income to charity, Ali was close to saying ‘I love you’ but didn’t, he uninvited her to meet his extended family and they got in a fight, broke up with her a couple weeks before their 6 month anniversary at the park while on a picnic and told her that she’s still his favorite person, Ali used to think he was “the one that got away” and would frequently have dreams about him. From what Ali knows, he's sober but not vegan
The Scientist
2017 or 2018ish, from San Diego, went on one date, Ali ended up ghosting him due to the decline in her dad’s health, saw him on Hinge while she was in San Diego for 3 months in 2020, texted him and apologized for ghosting him, ended up going on 2-3 more dates, took a selfie in front of his house and sent it to him but acted like she didn’t know that was his house and made a TikTok about it, things ended up not working but she doesn’t make it clear on who ended it. She can now see she shouldn’t have been going on dates during this time when her dad was sick.
Good on Paper Divorced Dude
Met a couple of years ago (she told this story on TikTok in 2020) on Bumble
The Groomsman
Met at her friend Ashley’s wedding in Chicago Oct 2019, had a “two night stand” with him, texted/talked/FT’d for 3-4 months, divorced, never dated seriously/FWB, saw each other a couple time when he came to NYC, Ali stopped talking with him due to FMH and her trying to find a serious relationship, he starts dating someone, follows FMH on insta, slid into her DM in 2022 and then sent her soup while she was sick, turns out he’s single again, 2 months later Ali is heading to Chicago and texts him “Hello! Reminder that my arrival to your neck of the woods is imminent” and turns out he is now seeing someone and Ali doesn’t see him while in Chicago (at least she doesn’t mention it)
Unnicknamed person
He was her plus one at her best friend from college’s NYE wedding 2019/2020, met and hung out with Ali’s mom, posted photos of them together on her personal Insta story, “fully dating but weren’t official hehe” doesn’t have a nickname/never gave him a nickname? This could be The Latvian/the person she texted her friend in DC about saying “I think I’m on a date with my husband”

Starts FMH on January 2020 on Instagram/TikTok

The Traveler
He was browsing Bumble while Ali was in the bathroom during their first date, he was banned from Bumble and was using his grandma phone number. Ali turned down a second date
The Duke
Early FMH, went for long periods of time in between texts, 7-8 Zoom dates while Ali was in San Diego and he was in NY, Ali said you could see three of his ex’s on his instagram page (without scrolling), they finally went on one date and it was “meh” but they did kiss on their date
The Oyster
Matched on Bumble (he had one photo and no bio) two weeks before Valentines Day, Gemini, a lawyer, part of the 13 First Dates in 30 Days series (he was #13), dated Feb 2020-Aug 2020, love bomber, felt “the spark” and became official after 3 dates, best first date ever??? at the time, said “I love you” to Ali after two weeks, “For most of my relationship with The Oyster, he didn’t live in the city he had moved to Connecticut without telling me”, would fight all the time, opposite political views, Ali felt like a “fucking summer camp director” because she planned all their dates and he would get upset if Ali didn't have a plan, sought out a therapist (Megan) because of her relationship struggles because of him, went to Mass/church, he wanted a traditional marriage/life/wife/kids (at one point had Ali thinking she wanted that), didn’t want to live in NYC, didn’t support BLM, Cindy hated him
The Pilot
Went on 3 dates, texted a lot, didn’t hear back from him in four days and when she said she was looking to date someone who showed more consistency, he replied saying he met someone the day after their last date who seems to have more free time than Ali and he wants to pursue that but would like to be friends, Ali said on TikTok that this other women “bent her schedule to his schedule” and she was unwilling to do that. Mostly talked about him on TikTok
The Analyst
Matched on Bumble two years ago and went on one date, re matched in 2021 and he stood Ali up, she send him a text “getting stood up” script and he never replied. Only mentioned him on TikTok (?)

Ali and Roark start FMH: The Podcast February 2021

The Boomerang
First date on the pod? I couldn't find anything else about him
The Scuba Diver
The Music Man
One date, “he didn’t do anything wrong, he’s just not for me”, amped up small talk, complimented Ali a lot which made her feel awkward cause she wasn’t feeling it, he texted her and asked for a second date and Ali sent the no ghosting script
The Bet
Uses the phrase “ok bet”, 28 years old shoe designer, only went on one dinner date to a spot he picked, turns out its cash only and he didn’t bring cash, was not into him , not looking for the same thing
The Dinosaur
Nickname was previously The Hawaiian, first date at Dinosaur BBQ, stood in a parking spot to save for Ali, he asked for a kiss after their date and Ali declined saying maybe next time
The Rose
He sent her a rose on hinge, first date was an hour long walk in the park while drinking beer
The Comic
Matched on Hinge, older than Ali (Ali’s friends express how happy they were to hear that), had brunch on their first date (was the first part of a double header but the second guy canceled), listed as “moderate” politically on Hinge, good and easy convo, went back and forth twice over text and then never heard back from him, “technically not ghosting...”
The Camper
Met in the wild at a volleyball tournament in July, lives in Chicago, 27 years old, hung out the whole time, over heard Ali asking someone to get her a make out partner, gave Ali his number, drunkly ask him for a FT date in the future and he didn’t reply, Ali texts him again about a volleyball thing and he replied back with not a lot of enthusiasm, Ali is going to Chicago in Sept for a volleyball tournament and she’s already planning on playing 4-on-4 with her best friend vs. his roommate and maybe The Camper, he texts her saying he has to work on the date of the tournament and won’t be able to do the 4-on-4 game, “I feel like I got broken up with someone I never want to date in the first place”

Ali’s Matchmaker contract starts in August 2021 - 6 matches

The Schmoozer
Went on a dinner date, was chatting up the waitress in a kind of creepy way, was bragging about a lot of things and it turned Ali off and Ali texted him her no ghosting script
The Accountant
1st matchmaker match, 31 years old, lives in BK, his dad has also passed away, easy to talk to, on the third date she wasn’t sure if she saw a future with him and in her gut doesn’t feel like this would be a slow burn, Ali breaks things off with him, months (?) later he sent Ali a 5 min long voice memo and they said they were both down to see each other as friends. He later on dated and ghosted Erica
The Aussie
Matched on Hinge, in politics, from Australia but lived all over the place, asked Ali what she’s looking for on the first date and he said he’s “casually looking for something serious”, Ali accidentally walks up to a different person on their second date, Ali texts him saying she would love to see him before he leaves on a trip and she wasn’t happy that it took him till the next day to reply and he can’t see her before he leaves
The Goalie
Was supposed to be Ali’s 2nd match, he’s a paying client, Ali didn’t hear back from him for a while when she told him where she lived, he wrote to the matchmaker saying that she lived too far away even though it states where she lives in her matchmaker profile
The Journalist
2nd matchmaker match, ended things because she was dating/pursuing things with The Discoball and paused her matchmakers matches

The Threepeat
Matched multiple times on dating apps but this recent time with Hinge, Amazon seller, first date was a pizza lunch date (with bubbles aka champagne) and he gave her a single yellow carnation, talked a lot about her “side hustles” aka her food blog, coaching, FMH and the pod (Ali didn’t mentioned the name on FMH), had an awkward half kiss during the date and then gave her a peck when they said goodbye, he had no night stands by his bed?, spent the night but told public pod they had a movie night, different kissing styles, 6 dates, broke things off with Ali two days before her first date with The Rower WHILE Ali was on a Halloween girls trip
The Rower
Dated from Halloween 2021 till early Feb 2022, Pisces who is 6 days older than Ali, has an ex-fiancé (they dated for 8 years, engaged for two of them, she broke off the engagement with him 1.5 years ago once he started dating Ali), has a shared dog with this ex, slept together around Xmas on the fourth date and Ali got a UTI, first time having “omg this is awesome sex” since ASV, first person Ali slept next to wearing an eye mask "that's a big step for me", had him watch 90 Day Fiancé, on New Years Day told her that he sees “long term relationship potential” with her but doesn’t want to be exclusive after 5 dates, “we didn’t talk all week”, he said he wasn’t as ready as he though to date someone seriously and “I don’t know why I don’t want to be in a relationship with you” they broke up over the phone, Ali said he’s a good human and wants to date someone like him, 3.5 weeks later Ali drunk texted him at 3:00 am saying “its really hard not to talk to you” which Ali said was a lie, he replied back (few days? A week later?) while Ali was on another date and it made her cry a bit, she replied back saying “the door is closed but not locked” in regards if he wants to get back together. “Fin… for now”

2022

The Discoball
Matched on Hinge but didn’t go on a first date for two week, Gemini, used to be a singer in a band, moved from DC to NYC, went on 7 dates in 2022, had a dog w/ ex and ex got full custody once he moved, met one of his friends on the second date, slept with him on the second date “morning and night”, he tried to find the podcast without knowing the name, podcasted from his house in DC, he would send Ali photos of them together “all the time”, gave a virtual presentation from his hotel room, did Molly together in DC, had him watch 90 Day Fiancé, moved to BK (didn’t see each other for 2 months pre-move), had a sex-less sleepover (a milestone for Ali), he showed up for her on her dad’s death date (something that a person she’s dating has never done), used to listen to the pod but stopped before they stopped seeing each other, ghosted her after they had a talk about moving things forward to exclusive and Ali texted him something along the lines of “your silence is the answer” when she didn’t hear back from him for a week and he ghosted her. Ali said he sucks in #77 AUA
Lisbon
The Brit
M&M
The Come Back Kid
They went on 2-3 dates in Nov 2018 and reconnected in May 2022, "felt immediately comfortable", sat next to a very drunk lady on their second 1st date and was supportive but "didn't step on Ali's toes" when the drunk lady said something offensive to Ali, couldn’t remember if they slept together or not, knows about FMH, ghosted Ali
The Trainer
The Cold Brew
The Nomad
3rd matchmaker match, reminded Ali of The Oyster, wanted kids and didn’t want to live in NYC forever, Ali was upset at first because her matchmaker was supposed to screen for that but the matchmaker DID check and it wasn’t mentioned when she was screening The Nomad, no second date because those are dealbreakers to him
The Catcher
Matched on Bumble, “good not great” after their first date, ~April 2022, talked about sports a lot on their first date
The Gentleman
4th matchmaker match, knew about Ali’s FMH socials before their date, Ali didn’t like his texting style, awkward intro on their first date “like hugging a 2 x 4”, he runs a dating event company and actually email Ali to be a guest on the pod when FMH first started, awkward goodbye, didn’t discuss the actual first date on the main pod because she doesn’t want to give him a reason to reach out again
The Tennis Pro
Ali had a good time on their date, “He is an adult, he’s mature” BUT “I don’t think he was into it”
The Padre
Matched on Bumble, 3 dates, from San Diego, “energy mismatch”, doesn’t want to know or listen to FMH, no psychical connection/kiss, only a kiss on the cheek on their last date, “I haven’t spoken to him since Friday night [a week]”, she didn’t want to do what The Threepeat did to her (break up while on vacation/traveling), she said it might be a MOO

Roark leaves and Erica joins the pod Oct 31st 2022

Captain Kirk
5th matchmaker match, found him on Bumble before their in-person date, ghosted Ali AND the matchmaker???
6th matchmaker match
Last match and Ali states she will not talk about this date or anything about it
JFK Kirk?
Matched on Bumble, didn’t realize he’s located in SD, exchanged personal instagram info, not sure where things went or how things ended

Kirk #1
Met in the wild, make out a lot the night they met, “stealing kisses throughout the night”, exchanged numbers, planned a date (no specifics, just the day) but when Ali texted him day of he asked to reschedule (no specifics again), he replied back that he’s picking up a rental car, told him she’s looking for someone to respect her time and he never replied back

2023

The Falcon
First date of 2023, matched on The League, first nickname was “League Kirk”, hard to talk to, felt like Ali was always reaching for the next topic, likes to travel, “there wasn’t a vibe”, MOO
The Roommate
Used to be her friend’s roommate and have met before (Ali doesn’t remember but it was the day after that exclusive convo with The Rower), “totally cute”, reunited at their mutual friend’s engagement party January 2023, made out at the bar, comes back to her place and sleeps over (no sex), Ali questions why her friends never set them up and its because he was taking a break from dating, first date they made out a lot at the bar (again), “I really felt like we were already a couple”, “It didn’t feel like a first date”, mentions her FMH content has popped up on his FYP, tried texting him after their date and he wasn’t giving effort, she’s glad she didn’t sleep with him because “one night stands aren’t my thing”, MOO
The Belgian
Matched on Bumble, accidentally had their first date during a trivia night at a bar, easy to talk to
The Viking
Ali forgot they had a first date on the day of said date
Tinder Man
Matched on Tinder (duh) on Valentine’s Day, first Tinder date in three years, good convo on first date but got a pushy vibe from him at the second bar they went to, put his hand up her sweater and was kissing her in the bar, made Ali uncomfortable and she told him that after her asked her on a second date
The Historian
Matched on Bumble, good conversation on the first date with a wide range of topics like “urban planning and its impact on feminism”, he’s in grad school
The Georgian
Matched on Hinge, he asked if she was free on Friday and she said yes but didn’t hear back from him in two days and in that time she made plans for Friday, rescheduled for a Saturday afternoon date at a dive bar, ate on her way to her date “it would be next level rude to eat on the subway”, good first date, talked about places he wants to take her to
The Publicist
Matched on Tinder, lives in BK, Jewish, one year younger then Ali, good first date, invited him to the Chaotic Singles Party that night, came over to Ali's apartment (which Ali said was messy) before and he made her favorite cocktail for her, a couple of listeners met him at the CSP, goofy and silly convo mixed with deep and serious convos, second date was at the Brooklyn Botanical Gardens and a tasting menu dinner, he made a Resy reservation and Ali got an email saying she was added to it ”fuck receiving gifts, THAT’S my love language”, he's into words like Ali, he sneezed and Ali said "God bless you" but then corrected herself and said "gesundheit" and he leaned over and kissed her and said he loves that she cares about her words, he met her friends on the third date ”It felt so easy. It felt so comfortable”, her friends took “sneaky” picture and videos of them together which Ali said she loves a sneaky pic, took all their date recap videos on his phone, cooked Ali steak on their fourth date, "it's very comfortable", had him watch 90 Day Fiancé, Ali met two of his friends and some of his teammates he plays a rec sport with, had sex the day they took a trip outside of the city, Erica met him before their trip to Greece and I said “he’s dorky in a good way”, WhatsApp video chatted while in Greece and told her “see you in two days!” at the end of their call, said she felt less anxious about him compared to other relationships while on vacation, sent him a birthday present while she was in Greece, felt an energy shift coming back from vacation and didn’t hear back from him 3 days after she came home, Ali requested a call to talk about this distances she was feeling, ”I did the 12 date rule and it didn’t work!”, she said the distance help her see that they’re not compatible, went on a total of 9 dates. Ali talks about the “break up” on episode 123
Mr. Chaotic
Matched on Tinder but he saw Ali at the Chaotic Singles Party and Cassidy the host is there mutual friend, went to a brewery and played games on their first date (Ali said this was her favorite first dates in episode 147 where they recapped 2023), works in entertainment industry, very high energy, knows about FMH and he said she's entertaining to watch, splits his time between NYC and some unknown city, texted while she was in Greece, ”The man gives good texts”
Random Matchmaker Match
Withdrew his match to Ali because he found her FMH socials. Talked about on #71 AUA
Gone with the Wind
Matchmaker match, said some gross things about women in volleyball outfits on their first date, Ali told her matchmaker about this, ”I would describe him as misogynistic overall”, Ali was glad he did say those weird things so early on so she didn’t waste her time, the matchmaker flagged his account. This was around June 2023
The Rock
Ali knows him from an activity that they used to be involved with in the city (she's very vague about what this is) from 8 years ago, he had a very serious/long term GF when they met, follows her personal Insta, has never talked about him because he’s never been a “prospect”, summer 2023 they met up to catch up and found out that he’s now recently single but he’s moving out of NYC for work, Ali texts Cindy saying she thinks this is a date, Cindy said to tell him that you really want to kiss him, he ends up telling Ali “I really want to kiss you”, made out at the bar, Ali invited him back to her apartment and they had sex the night before Ali ended things with The Publicist, “one night stand vibes” but she said she was down to do it again, Patreon only and talked about on #75 AUA
The Tourist
Matched on Hinge, just moved to Brooklynn, went to a brewery in BK for their first date, Ali showed up to the date dripping in sweat, allergic to cats, he sent Ali a ‘no ghosting’ text the next morning
The Stout
Matched on Bumble, ”we had really great banter right away”, laughed the whole time on their first date, talked about going on a second date during their first date
Speed Racer
Matched on Bumble, drinks first date, axe throwing second date, made out after their second date, MOO, randomly texted Ali ~6 months later because he said one of Ali’s date recap videos about him popped up on his FYP (Ali and Erica think this is a lie), he thought Ali wasn’t into him, he claims he was doing all the work with texting even though there was only a few messages since they exchanged numbers after their second date
Billy Joel
Recently sober, Ali said she felt like they had several inside jokes before they met in person, ate pizza on her way to their first date, second date was getting coffee and going to the museum, they cooked dinner together for their third date at Ali’s apartment and they watched 90 Day Fiancé (he didn’t like it), he Googled how to clean a red wine stain when it spilled on her countertop, he asked if she wanted to have sex and she turned it down, the next day/the day before a 7am flight Ali booty called him and they had sex, she was drunk and said the sex wasn’t good/they stopped mid way, helped Ali pack for her flight, Ali said he’s at a crossroad and he doesn’t seem like a long term fit, Erica found a condom on the ground while cat sitting, Ali said she didn’t regret hooking up with him but wishes she hadn’t done it, MOO
Sales Cycle
30 seconds in and Ali said he was very boring, only really talked about his job, stared at Ali’s boobs, “might be a MOO”, texted her ‘merry christmas’

2024

Pie Guy/Dr. Laundry
Matched on The League, 34 years old, requested a nickname change from Pie Guy to Dr. Laundry, he had to cancel their second date because he got hit by a car, went on two dates, Ali sent him a pic of his subway stop saying something along the lines of “the stop isn’t looking as cute today” and turns out someone he dated with in that photo, were supposed to go on a third date the night she got back from a bachelorette party but he didn't answer her text when she said she landed, the next day he asked her how her trip was not acknowledging her previous text at all, Ali expressed her disappointment and he replied that he was tired last night, she said she would've been understanding if he said something then ghosted her
Andddd I stopped listening to the podcast around the Dr. Pie Laundry Guy but have stayed up to date with everything via this sub.
I have a huge interest in dating culture, human behavior and data similar to Ali and this little project of mine was really interesting once I got the framework of this list. I started this list once I found this sub in December 2023 and started re listening to the Patreon while working out (and lost 10 lbs ayeee) and writing down information in my notes app. I did my best to keep this list unbiased and just give facts and information that was said.
My own thoughts after making this list is that I'm very sad for Ali. I didn't realize the extent of her dating history. I think about my own dating history or even my friends who are in their 30's and dating and Ali's dating lore runs so deep. Is Ali unlucky with love? Did she pass on someone that could have been great for her? How has she had so many dates with little success in a long term partner or even going beyond 6-8 dates? Or is Skyline the person she has been waiting for? What's the pattern with all this dates/men? So many questions.
I truly do hope Ali finds her guy because I believe theres someone for everyone. Until then, I'll be hopping into this sub (cause y'all are too funny and give the best advice) and waiting for Ali to find Mr. Height.
Enjoy and I look forward to everyone thoughts! I'll keep my eye out for any edits that need to be made.
Bonus quotes:
“Longest relationship was a little under a year and a half. Haven’t made it past 6 months with anyone else” - AUA #7 11/27/21
“I spent the first 10+ years of my dating life being sort of perennially single” -1. The Actual First One episode 2/21/21
"I think my parent's story is the reason why I think that I can romantically get back together with an ex and it'll work out" -The Dave Glaser Podcast 4/5/21
“Almost every relationship I’ve ever been in, with a couple of exceptions, started as a situationship.” -21. The Undefined One 7/11/21
“All of my boyfriends have been white” -Ali’s BFF Special on Patreon 4/23/22
“You definitely need an older guy” -Cindy on Ali’s BFF Special on Patreon 4/23/22
“I’ve been on the dating apps since high school. Dating websites at the time” -Ali’s BFF Special on Patreon 4/23/22
“Who would be the perfect man for Ali?”
“Clearly a combination of the The Dentist and [the early stages of] The Buffalo” -Cindy on Ali’s BFF Special on Patreon 4/23/22
“Do you consider The Rower or Disco ball to have been situationships?”
“No, I don't consider either The Rower or The Disco Ball to be situationships” -question asked on TikTok 11/9/22

I'm military and PCSing later this year from Alaska. I own one pistol. Since I'm probably driving down through Canada (at least part of Canada), I can't just load it in the car and drive. I'll have to ship it.
Does anyone have any advice on this?
My understanding is that since it's a pistol, I have to take it to an FFL dealer and have it shipped to an FFL dealer in CA. Is this true? Will the CA FFL dealer require me to do the ten day waiting period and background check? Even if I already own the gun?
What about long guns? There's a shotgun I've had my eye on for a while. I'd be tempted to buy it up here and avoid paying CA sales tax on it. I believe I can just mail long guns with USPS to myself/my dad who is a CA resident. Is this correct? Do I need to do anything else once it arrives? Does me maintaining my Alaska residency (instead of becoming a California resident) affect this at all?

Just wondering my chances for ivy admission - my top schools are Yale, brown, Dartmouth, and Barnard. For background, I'm upper middle class, white, a girl, and have legacy at UPenn. Medium size public high school (1300 ppl). Applying for government/poli sci and Spanish literature
Academics: 1) 35 ACT (35 English, 36 science and reading, 34 math) 2) 3.97/4 UW (2 A- in math... noticing a pattern?) 3) Full IB diploma program with 4 HLs (economics, English, math, and history) then AP gov (5) and AP stat (4)
Honors: 1) 3 dedicated to debate tournament wins, national rankings (top 20), and speaking at an event ab social Justice and debate 2) Mock trial states qualifier semifinalist 3) global seal of biliteracy for Spanish
ECs) 1) big leadership position in nat'l level debate community service org 2) debate captain (2 yrs) and good at it (went tiostates and nats (x2) for debate, states for speech) 3) state director of nat'l nonprofit dedicated to increasing youth civic participation and education (interview politicians, publish voter reg and specific issue info, etc) 4) write questions for and moderate my school board candidate debates 5) mock trial captain (2 yrs) and treasurer who ran first ever fundraiser (3) and only team member to have 2 roles on both sides in club history (#team player) 6) merit scholarship to move to Spain and study Spanish for summer before 11th grade 7) pilot! and I've run multi-year inclusivity and community-building initiatives at my flying club + mentored newer students 8) minor stuco leadership position (cochair PR committee) 9) babysitter for 4 years, like 8 hours a week 10) I have a redbubble sticker designing business for 4 years (100+ sales in 8 countries!)
Be viciously honest pls! I'm just curious lol I won't take it personally

I messed up. I messed up bad.
“Never get high on your own supply”. The human who sold me this data told me it was a saying from his world. But I had to be sure it was the real deal. After all, data drugs that worked on people without a brain interface installed? It was unheard of. But here I am [30 hours] later, and I no longer doubt. I feel utterly exhausted despite having barely moved. My every neuron feels fried. All 6 grasping appendages are sore from the repetitive motions, and my eyes are dry and unfocused from the long strain I have put them through. I feel intense pangs of hunger and thirst, as I haven’t eaten or drank since I started this test.
I still want more. But with a great effort of will I force myself away from the screen of my computing terminal and stumble to my pantry so I may attend to my body’s needs. As I gulp down nutrient drinks and chew some dried fruit, I reflect on the trance I’ve somehow barely managed to pull myself out of.
Simulations. A useful tool for engineers, scientists, and military strategists. We had never thought to teach storytellers or artists to use them. Humans had. And what they created was both miraculous and monstrous.
Humans decided to use simulation technology to create art and craft stories. It seemed that there was a human simulation… no, hundreds of human simulations, designed to invoke whatever feeling or emotion you could imagine. And possibly some you couldn’t.
I had started simple. A basic test of spatial reasoning, and later quick thinking, expressed through the medium of stacking colored blocks formed into geometric shapes. While comparable at first to a children's toy, as the speed and challenge increased I became increasingly hypnotized. The feeling of lining up and clearing four rows at once with the all too rare straight piece was intensely satisfying. Making a mistake, leaving a gap caused frustration and incompleteness like I had never felt before, and eventually fixing it gave a feeling of relief, of rightness. As the game sped up, I found myself more and more frantic to try and find places for every piece. The rush of success and agony of failure only increased as I prided and chided myself on my quick decisions.
Eventually, I could keep up no longer, leaving me only with a number. A score.
Could I push that score higher?
[4 hours] went by, and I barely noticed.
I should have stopped. I knew that what I had was genuine. But I wanted to know what else this data was capable of.
I navigated a colorful landscape, defying gravity with every action and finding joy in exploration and collection.
I slaughtered demons with a chaingun, turning the fear of being devoured into a rising sense of conquest and bloodlust.
I failed a single test of dexterity, sending me tumbling down a hole and erasing hours of progress, and I nearly knocked myself out from the shock of frustration.
I defeated a hulking warrior with a team of other adventurers, and the triumph of it was only amplified by the sting of failing several times before.
Freedom and entrapment.
Horror and domination.
Elation and sorrow.
Every new experience was an emotional high of a kind I’d never had before, and my hearts were racing with the myriad of feelings rushing through my mind. My imagination was going wild with the possibilities of all these new worlds of data and programming.
My self-reflection comes to a grinding halt. I need to stop. If I’m not careful I’ll get addicted and end up like one of those mindjackers, burning their brains out on data drugs. Supposedly these simulations can’t do that, but I wouldn’t have put it past the seller to lie about that kind of thing.
Well, one way or another, I’m gonna make a [alien animal that shares many traits with both giant squids and magpies]’s hoard selling these. Time to call my best clients…
[Time skip: approximately 25 solar years]
The Rise of the Galactic Game Industry: Fluke of the Black Market, or Human Marketing Genius? You Decide!
Dr’k-Nam, Head Investigative Critic for the Arts and Culture section of Twin Suns Newsgroup
Simulation games, also known as “video games”, have taken the galaxy by storm ever since their controversial introduction and subsequent series of bannings and legalizations across the galaxy. Simulation technology is nothing new of course, but galactic newcomers from the Sol system, Humans, used it in an extremely novel way: art and entertainment. According to their historical records, a significant amount of their entertainment industry is based around simulation games, and that portion has grown even further with their introduction to the galaxy at large.
At first, however, no one was interested. A simulation with little or no practical application, designed only to entertain? Most people preferred to stick with the entertainment they knew, or seek new experiences outside of sims. So what changed?
Simple: some anonymous human decided to sell them as data drugs instead of simulation games; data drugs usable by simply interacting with a computer program, rather than having to inject the data directly in through a neural interface. With this small, but completely false new branding, video games were ready to start spreading across virtual black markets like spoilers for the latest episode of Ace Flyer Kr’t-Kah on the galnet (side note: please have some courtesy to others and tag your spoilers).
Human governance and society at large had been reportedly as surprised to see a lack of simulation games from other species as they were that humans had them. But they were even more surprised when they started getting accused of pushing the latest data drug. This was an especially confusing accusation because neural interface technology was not widely adopted by humanity at the time, and only a fraction of a percent of their population even knew of the existence of data drugs in the first place. The revelation that most humans had video games of some sort on their PPDDs (personal portable data devices) threatened to cause an uproar in the galaxy, as paranoia around data drugs was at an all time high among many species.
After trying and failing to ignore the problem for long enough for it to go away, human governance, as well as human corporations producing video games, were forced to release statements, acknowledging that:

• Yes, video games were human productions.
• Yes, they could be addictive in the same way that any other pleasure-seeking activity could be addictive.
• Yes, there are games that even humans ban. Adult subject matter is restricted from youths, but additionally, games could be made manipulatively to exploit or develop gambling addictions, which is banned outright. Technically this ban isn’t even for games specifically, but instead falls under the purview of their laws against taking advantage of the mentally unstable.
• No, they did not “hack your brain” to cause neural impulses, unless you’re a a Syns-nah, who only partially exist in our dimension and are not used to any 3-dimensional sensory inputs, to the point where eating an unflavored [grain product resembling a cracker] can cause them vivid hallucinations.
• If other races want to ban them, go ahead, but humans can’t really stop data from spreading (their government has tried, believe me), and they’re not going to stop making or distributing them where it’s legal.

Ironically enough, the controversy made them much more popular, even in places that decided on banning them. The idea of a simulation that could act like a data drug without the risk of frying your mind like the real thing was enticing to many. The lack of side effects and ease with which the games could be distributed only increased both their spread and unregulatability. In short order, races throughout the galaxy were trying out a new pastime, and galnet connected multiplayer games were bridging the gaps between the stars. Now, several other races, including my own, are seeking advice from human developers in starting their own simulation game projects. Only time will tell what kind of games their unique perspectives will produce, but it’s unlikely that humans will lose their position as the most powerful and profitable storytellers through this new medium; they have generations of experience to draw upon, after all.
Rumors that the data drug sales pitch was a deliberate ploy by the human game industry (to drum up intergalactic sales) or by human governance (to spread human culture and influence) are still under investigation, but solid evidence for either has yet to emerge.
Edit: anyone posting untagged Ace Flyer Kr’t-Kah spoilers in the comments section of this article will receive an immediate, no-warning permaban.

Kena: Bridge of Spirits is such a good game despite being so… well… basic.
It’s simple — almost overly so — yet it is beloved by so many seasoned and experienced gamers.
What I got curious about after playing the game myself and reading a number of pseudo-reviews online was how exactly it achieved this.
How did a package so entry-level-looking garner such respect by 201 and 301 students?
--
The ‘Fields’ region is a great example of Kena’s dichotomy.
It’s gorgeous and inviting, with sea-foamed vistas, lush landscape and rushing waterways. There’s a even a big, lovable pet bull towering over the myriad of cute little Rot dudes scampering through the foliage. The whole place is just friendly.
Why then, does it end up being one of the game’s longest, deepest and most complex sections? Consider its many scattered puzzles, which ask you to combine platforming, archery, environmental awareness and combat proficiency. There’s even a handful of red herring platforms that you can’t properly interact with until later in your puzzle solving endeavor.
The ‘Fields’ are a microcosm of the game as a whole. A childish, Pixar-esque shell which, when uncovered, reveals a complex, involved gameplay experience underneath.
Kena: Bridge of Spirits invites you to be a kid, but treats you like an adult. This is something very few games manage — or even attempt — and it’s what makes Kena so unique, memorable and special.
--
Kena crushes its tone and aesthetic on all fronts to create something that’s desirable and attainable to a group outside of hardcore gamers.
Kena’s visuals are youthful and welcoming by using cartoonish and fairytale-esque art design. The game’s companions do the same — the Rot are your constant brigade of adorable little plush-like, Pikimin-esque comrades who hop as you walk, munch on berries, clumsily trip over each other, and squeak in pitches that can only described as ‘cute.’ You can even give them little hats to wear. They’re pets and it’s all so mired in youthful innocence that I cringe even typing it.
From a distance, Kena appears childish and immature based on its outward appearance. That is, until you peel back its outer layer.
--
The game looks like something your five-year-old might enjoying toying with on your iPad, “you-got-games-on-yo-phone?” style. But there are four elements in its building blocks that make it a game not optimized for your five-year-old on their own;

1. Narrative
2. Puzzles
3. Platforming
4. Combat

Narrative
As far as the game’s story is concerned, it may begin bright and innocent enough, but it deals not-abstractly with death and loss.
Consider that all three boys you meet in the early game — Taro, Benni and Saiya are actually dead, I-see-dead-people style. Consider also that Kena’s entire journey revolves around the loss of her own father and her desire to reconnect with him.
Additionally, it is Toshi’s selfishness and his desire to be the hero that actually ends up bringing death and destruction to his village when he jumps the gun and kills and the mountain spirit in cold blood.
Merciless affronts on nature and an up-front dealing with death and grief are not exactly for the young of age, despite their youthful packaging.
Puzzles
It would be a waste of word count to explain in detail the steps necessary to complete certain puzzles in Kena just as a set of examples to prove the point.
If you’ve played or watched gameplay, you know the puzzles are surprisingly involved, consisting often of multiple steps to complete that build on each other and require the use of all of your abilities in tandem.
One of the bigger “ah-hah” moments I recall was when I realized I could order my Rot minions to move objects while Kena stood on top of said object in order to give me a leg up to jump to a previously unreachable ledge.
Platforming
Speaking of ledges, jumping to and from them is tight and precise in Kena.
Platforming challenges are often timed (your aura-bomb weapon only activates platforms for specifically-timed bursts). Combining their scheduled nature with the need to rotate them via precise archery, mid-air grappling segments and more makes for a movement experience that is involved enough to demand the player’s full attention for every tick of the clock.
Kena and her world’s gravity also have a decided, predictable weight to them that’s not exactly forgiving, meaning the act of jumping to and fro is exact while also requiring exactness.
Combat
Fighting the enemies of Kena is similarly involved.
The cadence with which the game throws opponents your way combined with the complexities of dealing meaningful damage to said opponents creates a combat scenario which demands the player fluidly wield and swap between both melee and ranged options while carefully managing space on the battlefield.
Kamikaze-style enemies often rush Kena in carefully-spaced and well-timed waves, while enemies with shields and shells hide their weak points from visibility. Enemies like this require certain sequences to beat — be it a well-placed bomb and arrow combo, a parry, or a maneuvering to an enemy’s backside.
Boss encounters lean into these mechanics but also present new wrinkles — The Hunter fight asks the player to rethink their tactics and find a way to deal with an airborne opponent who is apt at dodging bombs and arrows, for example.
The final few bosses ask you to take everything you’ve learned throughout your journey and apply it all at once, and if you don’t… it’s defeat for Kena.
--
The above sounds like I’m describing a souls-like with platforming elements as the ‘fresh take’ in addition to the enrapturing combat.
Games that provide this much of a challenging, involved experience are typically darker in tone — be it music, environment, or what-have-you. I don’t think too many people would call Kena ‘hard,’ but these are the same people who died 10+ times to The Hunter or Corrupted Toshi.
If this game had a darker, moodier skin, would more people describe it as hard or not for the faint of heart?
In this way, Kena: Bridge of Spirits is a wolf in sheep’s clothing.
It is accessible to new players and younger gamers due to its pleasing and friendly atmosphere. But by its conclusion, it is likely to season them into better gamers. If a newbie gamer picks up Kena, they’re in for a surprise and (hopefully) delight when they find something deeper than that which they first expected.
On the other hand, Kena is a worthwhile experience for veteran gamers if they drop their toxic masculinity and play a goofy kids game with a female protagonist. This is a game that will undoubtedly earn their respect by requiring their attention, precision and commitment throughout its experience. Like the newbie gamers, gaming veterans are in for a surprise and (certainly) delight when they find something deeper than that which they first expected.
--
Kena: Bridge of Spirits is a good experience for everyone. By balancing being adorable with being difficult, it earns the respect and appreciation of everyone who plays it. Its accessibility makes it easy to recommend to anyone and the game thus earns itself a bigger audience as a result.
Its narrative and gameplay might not separate themselves in terms of newness from a saturated market, but the surprise and delight the game provides delivers an experience to its players that isn’t typical of the space.
By striking the balance between wolf and sheep, Kena elevates its quality to something beyond just the content within.
--
…and yet…
I can’t help but think, as I summarize this article, that if a game is for everyone, doesn’t that, on some level, mean it is also for no one?
I mean, when you look at the game’s narrative or gameplay, it’s not exactly reinventing the wheel here. In fact, Kena does just about nothing new. It spits out the same exact version of a game we’ve been playing for decades in the form of Tomb Raider or Uncharted or The Legend of Zelda or God of War.
Critically speaking, both the gameplay and narrative are pretty damn milquetoast.
You’re in a world infected by some arbitrary Darkness and since you’re Special and The Chosen One™ it’s your job to go around cleansing the world of evil using a combination of environmental platforming, lever and pressure plate puzzle-solving and lock-on-based, sword-swinging driven combat.
It wouldn’t be difficult to make the argument that Kena is bland.
But the discourse around the game just isn’t about that.
The game’s scored an 81 on Metacritic and has a 92% positive review rating on Steam at time of writing. It recouped its development costs in just one month, meaning every sale since then is hitting the bottom line.
People like this game.

Quick aside from me here on something that made me smile — when double-checking the score on Steam for the above info, I found these as the first two reviews at the very top of the queue: “yo wtf. bought this game to chill, why does it feels like im playing souls-like difficulty ass game HAHAHAH.” “Don’t be fooled by the graphics. This game can be a challenge at times, but it is worth the experience.”

So maybe being an experience for everyone really was the kicker?
Or, maybe, it was something else.
In fact, yeah, I can confidently say it was. It’s a game reviewer’s buzzword, but it’s oh-so apt here: polish.
--
The entire experience of playing Kena is smooth. There are no framerate drops, no bugs, no broken quests or puzzles, no desynced dialogue and facial animations. Not a single hiccup to speak of.
The game features exacting archery, precise platforming, telegraphed and accurate hitboxes, as well as an unimpeding camera, responsive and weighty combat and legible visual design that accurately communicates with the player.
You can move through Kena virtually unobstructed (until you come across a puzzle you can’t solve, but that’s your problem, not the game’s). Everything is built carefully and gels together in a cohesion that works so fluidly that playing Kena is simply frictionless.
The game’s developers — Ember Lab — nailed the fundamentals, paid attention to detail and play-tested perfectly. Their effort to go above and beyond saved this game from sinking into the obscurity of being completely and utterly Mid.
--
It’s frictionlessness that elevates Kena beyond itself. It makes the game greater than the sum of its parts. It makes Kena a complete, finished and polished experience.
Kena presents itself like it’s Disney Pixar’s latest goofy-ass, lame-ass, sub-par video game, but lying underneath the childish aesthetic is a challenging and engaging experience that’s not only a boon for all audiences of gamers, but a worthwhile one thanks to its extreme polish and dedication.
You should play it.

Kena: Bridge of Spirits is such a good game despite being so… well… basic.
It’s simple — almost overly so — yet it is beloved by so many seasoned and experienced gamers.
What I got curious about after playing the game myself and reading a number of pseudo-reviews online was how exactly it achieved this.
How did a package so entry-level-looking garner such respect by 201 and 301 students?
--
The ‘Fields’ region is a great example of Kena’s dichotomy.
It’s gorgeous and inviting, with sea-foamed vistas, lush landscape and rushing waterways. There’s a even a big, lovable pet bull towering over the myriad of cute little Rot dudes scampering through the foliage. The whole place is just friendly.
Why then, does it end up being one of the game’s longest, deepest and most complex sections? Consider its many scattered puzzles, which ask you to combine platforming, archery, environmental awareness and combat proficiency. There’s even a handful of red herring platforms that you can’t properly interact with until later in your puzzle solving endeavor.
The ‘Fields’ are a microcosm of the game as a whole. A childish, Pixar-esque shell which, when uncovered, reveals a complex, involved gameplay experience underneath.
Kena: Bridge of Spirits invites you to be a kid, but treats you like an adult. This is something very few games manage — or even attempt — and it’s what makes Kena so unique, memorable and special.
--
Kena crushes its tone and aesthetic on all fronts to create something that’s desirable and attainable to a group outside of hardcore gamers.
Kena’s visuals are youthful and welcoming by using cartoonish and fairytale-esque art design. The game’s companions do the same — the Rot are your constant brigade of adorable little plush-like, Pikimin-esque comrades who hop as you walk, munch on berries, clumsily trip over each other, and squeak in pitches that can only described as ‘cute.’ You can even give them little hats to wear. They’re pets and it’s all so mired in youthful innocence that I cringe even typing it.
From a distance, Kena appears childish and immature based on its outward appearance. That is, until you peel back its outer layer.
--
The game looks like something your five-year-old might enjoying toying with on your iPad, “you-got-games-on-yo-phone?” style. But there are four elements in its building blocks that make it a game not optimized for your five-year-old on their own;

1. Narrative
2. Puzzles
3. Platforming
4. Combat

Narrative
As far as the game’s story is concerned, it may begin bright and innocent enough, but it deals not-abstractly with death and loss.
Consider that all three boys you meet in the early game — Taro, Benni and Saiya are actually dead, I-see-dead-people style. Consider also that Kena’s entire journey revolves around the loss of her own father and her desire to reconnect with him.
Additionally, it is Toshi’s selfishness and his desire to be the hero that actually ends up bringing death and destruction to his village when he jumps the gun and kills and the mountain spirit in cold blood.
Merciless affronts on nature and an up-front dealing with death and grief are not exactly for the young of age, despite their youthful packaging.
Puzzles
It would be a waste of word count to explain in detail the steps necessary to complete certain puzzles in Kena just as a set of examples to prove the point.
If you’ve played or watched gameplay, you know the puzzles are surprisingly involved, consisting often of multiple steps to complete that build on each other and require the use of all of your abilities in tandem.
One of the bigger “ah-hah” moments I recall was when I realized I could order my Rot minions to move objects while Kena stood on top of said object in order to give me a leg up to jump to a previously unreachable ledge.
Platforming
Speaking of ledges, jumping to and from them is tight and precise in Kena.
Platforming challenges are often timed (your aura-bomb weapon only activates platforms for specifically-timed bursts). Combining their scheduled nature with the need to rotate them via precise archery, mid-air grappling segments and more makes for a movement experience that is involved enough to demand the player’s full attention for every tick of the clock.
Kena and her world’s gravity also have a decided, predictable weight to them that’s not exactly forgiving, meaning the act of jumping to and fro is exact while also requiring exactness.
Combat
Fighting the enemies of Kena is similarly involved.
The cadence with which the game throws opponents your way combined with the complexities of dealing meaningful damage to said opponents creates a combat scenario which demands the player fluidly wield and swap between both melee and ranged options while carefully managing space on the battlefield.
Kamikaze-style enemies often rush Kena in carefully-spaced and well-timed waves, while enemies with shields and shells hide their weak points from visibility. Enemies like this require certain sequences to beat — be it a well-placed bomb and arrow combo, a parry, or a maneuvering to an enemy’s backside.
Boss encounters lean into these mechanics but also present new wrinkles — The Hunter fight asks the player to rethink their tactics and find a way to deal with an airborne opponent who is apt at dodging bombs and arrows, for example.
The final few bosses ask you to take everything you’ve learned throughout your journey and apply it all at once, and if you don’t… it’s defeat for Kena.
--
The above sounds like I’m describing a souls-like with platforming elements as the ‘fresh take’ in addition to the enrapturing combat.
Games that provide this much of a challenging, involved experience are typically darker in tone — be it music, environment, or what-have-you. I don’t think too many people would call Kena ‘hard,’ but these are the same people who died 10+ times to The Hunter or Corrupted Toshi.
If this game had a darker, moodier skin, would more people describe it as hard or not for the faint of heart?
In this way, Kena: Bridge of Spirits is a wolf in sheep’s clothing.
It is accessible to new players and younger gamers due to its pleasing and friendly atmosphere. But by its conclusion, it is likely to season them into better gamers. If a newbie gamer picks up Kena, they’re in for a surprise and (hopefully) delight when they find something deeper than that which they first expected.
On the other hand, Kena is a worthwhile experience for veteran gamers if they drop their toxic masculinity and play a goofy kids game with a female protagonist. This is a game that will undoubtedly earn their respect by requiring their attention, precision and commitment throughout its experience. Like the newbie gamers, gaming veterans are in for a surprise and (certainly) delight when they find something deeper than that which they first expected.
--
Kena: Bridge of Spirits is a good experience for everyone. By balancing being adorable with being difficult, it earns the respect and appreciation of everyone who plays it. Its accessibility makes it easy to recommend to anyone and the game thus earns itself a bigger audience as a result.
Its narrative and gameplay might not separate themselves in terms of newness from a saturated market, but the surprise and delight the game provides delivers an experience to its players that isn’t typical of the space.
By striking the balance between wolf and sheep, Kena elevates its quality to something beyond just the content within.
--
…and yet…
I can’t help but think, as I summarize this article, that if a game is for everyone, doesn’t that, on some level, mean it is also for no one?
I mean, when you look at the game’s narrative or gameplay, it’s not exactly reinventing the wheel here. In fact, Kena does just about nothing new. It spits out the same exact version of a game we’ve been playing for decades in the form of Tomb Raider or Uncharted or The Legend of Zelda or God of War.
Critically speaking, both the gameplay and narrative are pretty damn milquetoast.
You’re in a world infected by some arbitrary Darkness and since you’re Special and The Chosen One™ it’s your job to go around cleansing the world of evil using a combination of environmental platforming, lever and pressure plate puzzle-solving and lock-on-based, sword-swinging driven combat.
It wouldn’t be difficult to make the argument that Kena is bland.
But the discourse around the game just isn’t about that.
The game’s scored an 81 on Metacritic and has a 92% positive review rating on Steam at time of writing. It recouped its development costs in just one month, meaning every sale since then is hitting the bottom line.
People like this game.

Quick aside from me here on something that made me smile — when double-checking the score on Steam for the above info, I found these as the first two reviews at the very top of the queue: “yo wtf. bought this game to chill, why does it feels like im playing souls-like difficulty ass game HAHAHAH.” “Don’t be fooled by the graphics. This game can be a challenge at times, but it is worth the experience.”

So maybe being an experience for everyone really was the kicker?
Or, maybe, it was something else.
In fact, yeah, I can confidently say it was. It’s a game reviewer’s buzzword, but it’s oh-so apt here: polish.
--
The entire experience of playing Kena is smooth. There are no framerate drops, no bugs, no broken quests or puzzles, no desynced dialogue and facial animations. Not a single hiccup to speak of.
The game features exacting archery, precise platforming, telegraphed and accurate hitboxes, as well as an unimpeding camera, responsive and weighty combat and legible visual design that accurately communicates with the player.
You can move through Kena virtually unobstructed (until you come across a puzzle you can’t solve, but that’s your problem, not the game’s). Everything is built carefully and gels together in a cohesion that works so fluidly that playing Kena is simply frictionless.
The game’s developers — Ember Lab — nailed the fundamentals, paid attention to detail and play-tested perfectly. Their effort to go above and beyond saved this game from sinking into the obscurity of being completely and utterly Mid.
--
It’s frictionlessness that elevates Kena beyond itself. It makes the game greater than the sum of its parts. It makes Kena a complete, finished and polished experience.
Kena presents itself like it’s Disney Pixar’s latest goofy-ass, lame-ass, sub-par video game, but lying underneath the childish aesthetic is a challenging and engaging experience that’s not only a boon for all audiences of gamers, but a worthwhile one thanks to its extreme polish and dedication.
You should play it.

Coming back to KF2 after a long time away--bought all the armory passes and stuff thanks to the recent sale. I don't have access to them yet because of some apparent issues with the "Item Server Connection," but I'm curious where this game's meta sits nowadays with what weapons are good and not. A few more precise questions to maybe direct the conversation a bit:

• What are the most effective weapons for each perk? Are there weapons that pair well with them? Specializations that are important for that weapon to succeed? (what's your "default" loadout for a given perk?)
• Are any weapons that might be justifiable to run off-perk (for example, running the normal double-barreled shotgun on a Medic)? What sort of weapons does the Survivalist prefer?
• What perks are the best? Are any perks not worth picking? (I remember Survivalist was considered weak at one point)
• To what degree does map selection influence your perk and weapon selection? (I figure every perk has a niche regardless of map, but are there any situations where running certain long-range or explosive weapons feels like a hindrance?)
• 9mm or HRG 93R? Why?

I'm not really concerned about using the best gear all the time or anything--I think a lot of the fun I had with KF1 was in experimenting with different loadouts and such, figuring out what I preferred. But I'm curious what's considered "strong" or not, since there's a pretty wide variety of weapons that perform pretty differently, and figuring out my favorites will probably take quite a while.
EDIT: Also, how important is upgrading weapons? Can a weak weapon be upgraded such that it's as powerful as other options?

If you love this type of style where your like "wtf was that drop is's so f**king good and different", check out some of these songs as they have similar "wtf/awesome/mad drops".
Just copy the line of the song and youtube will just find the song (sorry I have not tailored this to spotify) :
Pendulum - The Island - Pt. I (Dawn) [Skrillex Remix]
RÜFÜS - Innerbloom (What So Not Remix)
Illusionize & Shapeless - TIME (I have a feeling you will love this, melty nights and completely gooey!)
Chase & Status - Don't Be Scared (Official Music Video) ft. Takura AC Slater - Bass Inside Wolfgang Gartner & Kill The Noise - Battlestations (F**KING AWESOME AND FUN TRACK! MY SECRET WEAPON TO SHOW PEOPLE!) Don Diablo - People Say ft. Paije Don Diablo - Head Up ft. James Newman GTA - Red Lips feat. Sam Bruno (Skrillex Remix) Loopers - I'm Heavy Mumbai Power (feat. Beam)-Skrillex SCARY MONSTERS & NICE SPRITES (KASKADE REMIX) - SKRILLEX (Just wait for the drop man, it's great and you probably won't have heard it before!) Skrillex, Noisia, josh pan & Dylan Brady - Supersonic (My Existence) Crystal Castles - Not In Love ft. Robert Smith of The Cure Lane 8 - Is This Our Earth? RL Grime - Core Getter - Head Splitter Dog Blood - BREAK LAW Danny L Harle & DJ Danny - On A Mountain (Flume Remix) Flume - Slugger 1.4 [2014 Export.WAV] Knock2 - dashstar* Shotgun Radio - A Bad Place (feat. Mimi Page) (Minnesota Remix) (My favorite track for years!) Chris Lake - I Want You (Just wait for the drop.) Knock2 - dashstar* (VIP) [NIGHTMODE] LOOPERS - I'm Odd Knock2 - REWiND [NIGHTMODE] Skrillex, Missy Elliott, & Mr. Oizo - RATATA Sibewest - Deprived Flume - Go Skrillex & Mr. Oizo - RATATA (KREAM Remix) ft. Missy Elliot (KREAM is killa, check them out. A lot of their stuff is signature sound). ANYMA X GRIMES – WELCOME TO THE OPERA (I know the Anyma synth plucks are going around at the moment but if you haven't heard this sound design it would still be mind tingly.) Tobiahs - Lifetime Martin Garrix - Animals (Of course! ;) )
For songs that have different alternative sounding drops which aren't as insanely different from what you usually hear but are still different sounding drops which are great check out:
Seven Lions - Isis Vicetone - Nevada (feat. Cozi Zuehlsdorff) Birdy Nam Nam - "Goin' In (Skrillex "Goin' Hard" Mix)"
Tchami - "Adieu" OFFICIAL VERSION
Martin Garrix & Troye Sivan - There For You (Official Instrumental) (The original is still "f**king dope! too! Marty has often unique sounding songs and pretty much made his own style of sound!)
Martin Garrix & Dua Lipa - Scared To Be Lonely (Official Instrumental) (Dua was kinda gaining popularity but i feel this was the song that really skyrocketed her into the limelight, the original with her lyrics is still so good!)
Tchami - Shot Caller (Badass madness!)
Lights & Music · Cut Copy (Awesome track, classic for me growing up and just decent for the time it came out!) Martin Garrix & Mesto - Limitless
Nero - Reaching Out
Martin Garrix & Brooks - Quantum
Martin Garrix & Zedd - Follow (F**king great track! Take risks my friend! ;) )
Flume - Say It (feat. Tove Lo) (Illenium Remix) David Guetta, Martin Garrix & Brooks - Like I Do
Bondax - Gold (Snakehips Bootleg) (More chill and not so party party but awesome drop!) Brooks & GRX - Boomerang (GRX is Martin Garrix's alternate stage name.) Martin Garrix & Florian Picasso - Make Up Your MindWarriors Dance - The ProdigyFuji Opener (feat. Alvin Risk)TroyBoi - Do You?Dog Blood - Next OrderOops · Martin Garrix Dimitri Vegas & Like Mike vs. W&W – Arcade (Extended Mix) Savant - Living iPod (Definitely going to love or hate it but it's fun, especially if your a major gamer like me!) Mr FijiWiji - Let The Sky Fall Down Martin Garrix & Jay Hardway Dua Lipa - Don't Start Now (PØNTES Remix) (Awesome, awesome remix and you won't have heard it!) Knock2 - dashstar* (Yellow Claw Trap Edit) [NIGHTMODE] Knock2 - Are U Feelin Me (Ft. DEV) [NIGHTMODE] Shadow Lady · Portwave GRADES - King
For songs which i've come across which are so different from what you'd usually hear but are a complete vibe because they arent "typical sounding" (not saying anything's right or wrong) these are great:
nekoi- exist (Don't be a peeping teemo!) Deadmau5 - Pomogrenate (Original Instrumental)
BICEP ATLAS BICEP OPAL (FOUR TET REMIX)
BICEP APRICOTS (This is really, really different but a phenomenal track. Just be in a good mindset because it's a fricking intense track but really dope!) DJ DIFFERENT - Angels
RITCHRD - PARIS (make sure to check it out on "yotsu"' youtube channel as it's got a cool anime clip!) San Holo - bb u ok? (Drop's great and it's different! Good vibes.)
Kendrick Lamar - HUMBLE. (Skrillex Remix) (I don't listen to rap and i f**king frothed this for ages!)
RL Grime, What So Not, and Skrillex - Waiting
RL Grime x Utada Hikaru - Simple To Know [Flipboitamidles Mashup] (Just a feel good song. Your gonna like it or not!)
Deadmau5 & Kaskade - I Remember (Mr FijiWiji Remix/Cover ft. Laura Brehm)
Guy Gerber - What To Do (&ME Remix)
BICEP JUST
BICEP GLUE
BICEP MELI (II) (Live at Love Saves The Day)
Gemini - Fire Inside (Mr. FijiWiji Remix)
The Presets - My People
BICEP SAKU (FEAT. CLARA LA SAN) RL Grime - Pressure Mitch Murder - The Touch Knock2 - SPEAK up! Mt. Wolf - Life Size Ghosts (Catching Flies Remix)Jonas Mantey - Frei Tom Day - Going Home Fracx - In Your Memory Hotline Miami 2: Wrong Number Soundtrack - Run
Parallel Universe · Franky Wah
&ME - The Rapture Pt.II
Keinemusik (Rampa, Adam Port, &ME) - Muyè
Danger - 0:59 Danger - 6:24 (from Furi original soundtrack)
Danger - 7:53 (from Furi original soundtrack)
Marie Davidson - 'Work It (Soulwax Remix)' (Hilarious track, defs different.) Lacchesi & Mac Declos - Give It To Me (Nelly X-Rated Edit) Ytram & Citadelle - Alive &ME, Black Coffee - The Rapture Pt.III (Also check out Pt.1 & Pt 2. for &ME) Amanati x Roniit - Slow (Oh lover lover!) Phelian - Liturgy (F**king love this track! So good for introspection at night!) Artist's I really, really love as personal preference that are so good:
SIBEWEST // Because of you (F**king love this guy, he's so damn good and so my jam!)
Kazukii // Pull
Kazukii - Need
Grimes - So Heavy I Fell Through the Earth (I love this track and grimes has really grown on me slowly and slowly. If you don't know who the artist is it was Elon Musk's most recent wife (you know the richest guy/might still be the richest guy in the world! The comment that i just saw checking it now about the track is: "just learned that this song is about Grimes being pregnant “It’s about getting pregnant,” she said. “The sort of tragedy of agreeing to it, even though it’s this great thing. For a girl, it’s sacrificing your body and your freedom. It’s a pretty crazy sacrifice and only half of the population has to do it.”"
Please, Stay-Matthieu Faubourg KAZUKII // Return Nero - The Thrill Monrroe Ft. Emily Makis - Never Too Old Arle - Close To You (Icarus Edit) Carpenter Brut - Paradise Warfare (Pretty awesome track, Carpenter Brut is great but dark and intense. Really suggest you play this for yourself instead of randomly showing it to someone. Could put them in a bad headspace if they are tripping bells. You will know what I mean by the end of the track!) Le Matos - Montrose (Le Matos are one of my all time favorites, incredibly underrated going by what you see on youtube!)
Kashuks - Universe
Mononoid - Protoplasm (Original Mix)Moby -- After (Drumsound & Bassline Smith Remix)
Banks - Warm Water (Snakehips Remix) Third ≡ Party - Without You (I love this track, makes me feel so good and the statues are so deep! Look up the burning man wire adult and children statues with the adults with the kids inside!) Kazukii - Tension Franky Wah - Love Me (Official Audio) (Extended Mix) Kaneki サウンド - Evening With U Neon Indian - Polish Girl (Indie electronic more so but still great, loved this back in the day!) Amelie Lens - Hypnotized (My favorite techno artist! So good!) Franky Wah - Cry No More (Audio) Grimes - New Gods Skrillex - The Reason Skrillex - Leaving Skrillex & Wiwek - Killa ft Elliphant
Mr FijiWiji - Sentry (Great song with unique sound design though a bit sad sounding. Love to Wiji my Fiji!) Awesome - The Bloody Beetroots
ARTBAT, Shall Ocin feat. braev - Origin Golden Features - 'Touch (feat. Rromarin) (F**CKING SO GOOD AND STILL UNSEEN! OMG FAVORITE TRACK PROBABLY OF ALL TIME!) Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites (Blueshift's Synthwave Cover) (This is a GREAT COVER if you love the original and synthwave.) Skrillex - Scary Monsters And Nice Sprites (Radar Detector Remix) Katana ZERO OST - Hit The Floor (Extended) UPGRADE-OFFL1NX FISHER - You Little Beauty (SCNDL VIP Club Edit) (Get your filth on son! If you love fishy, guarantee you will love this pure debauchery and raunchery!) Sewerslvt - Mr. Kill Myself Sewerslvt - Pretty Cvnt Sewerslvt - Newlove ZHU - Palm of My Hand Deadmau5 - Aural Psynapse (Mr FijiWiji Remix) Deadmau5 - Strobe (Mr FijiWiji Remix) THE OTHERS' (Radio Edit) TV ROCK Vs Dukes Of Windsor [HQ] (Just wait for the drop mang!) Amelie Lens - Drift Crystal Castles - Baptism M.O.O.N. - 'Hydrogen' (Try not to fry someone with this track.) SebastiAn - Kindercut Sebastian - Tetra NYC Beat (Radio Edit) · Armand Van Helden FKA twigs x Skrillex - Ego Death (Yoseppi's Club Edit)(Pretty much just my favorite parts of the original.) Pizza · Martin Garrix Skrillex - Kyoto (Extended) SKRILLEX - RIGHT ON TIME (12TH PLANET & KILL THE NOISE) Flume ft. Vera Blue - Rushing Back (Ekko & Sidetrack Bootleg) No Time-LastlingsI've Got You · Lastlings Lastlings - I've Got You (Rinzen Remix / Audio) Take My Hand (Totally Enormous Extinct Dinosaurs Sky Remix) · Lastlings Lastlings - Out Of Touch (CRi Remix / Visualizer) Lastlings - False Reactions (X CLUB. Remix / Official Audio) Lastlings - Last Breath (Adult Art Club Remix / Audio) Lastlings - Out Of Touch (Paraleven Remix) Lastlings - Deja VuLions in the Wild - Martin Garrix · Third Party Grimes & i_o - Violence deadmau5 - Monophobia (feat. Rob Swire) [Official Video] Chase & Status - Mixed Emotions SHDOW - Spirit. Heatwave · SBTRKT (This guys amazing!) Pharoahs - SBTRKTWildfire - SBTRKTSo Far Away · Lazerhawk Martin Garrix - Poison Dimitri Vegas & Like Mike vs. W&W – Arcade (Extended Mix) If I Know You (Tom Middleton Remix) · The Presets Sneaky Sound System - It's Not My Problem (Thin White Duke Mix) Netsky - Memory Lane Deadmau5 - Ghosts N Stuff (Nero Remix) Golden Features - Worship Dimitri Vangelis & Wyman X Steve Angello - Payback (Original Mix) Martin Garrix & David Guetta - So Far Away Madeon - Finale (Netsky Remix) RL Grime & What So Not - Tell Me RL Grime - I Wanna Know feat. Daya Lane 8 - Survive feat. Channy Leaneagh (Bit of an Anthem when your going through a rough time!) MALO - March of Progress The Presets - Talk Like That I Will Be Here [Wolfgang Gartner Remix Edit] - Tiësto, Sneaky Sound System Electric Youth - The Best Thing Knock2 - PARANOiD Le Matos - Light Again feat. Electric Youth Le Matos - Sarah Knock2 - gettin' hott MIAMI NIGHTS 1984 - Saved By The Bell Matrix Reloaded Rave (Zion Dance Party) - Aphrodite Mix (Awesome mix, great when your Hiding the bishop"Fluke - ZionPorter Robinson - Language STRLGHT - Where Do We Go Helax - Tell Me, Tell Me Lights & Music · Cut Copy Cristian Collodoro – Temperature Remix Follow The Storm · Gauthier Bloc Party - One More Chance (Alex Metric Remix) Kasbo - I Get You ft. Lizzy Land (Fakear Remix) Stranger - House Party (AC Slater Remix) Ravager · VIME Grum feat. Electric Youth - Turn It Up Mr FijiWiji - You Worry Enough Hidden Face - Cold Night Pendulum - Witchcraft (Rob Swire's Drumstep Mix) Sublab - In My Blood (feat. Mads) Skrillex, PinkPantheress & Trippie Redd - Way Back Alan Braxe, Fred Falke - You'll Stay In My Heart (Instrumental) [2023 Remaster] Something In The Water X Skepta W O L F C L U B - Tears 3DS Internet Settings · マドロスMERCURY Rules - A Little More Love (Bootleg Edit) Womack & Womack - Teardrops (Rules Remix) Rico 56 x Korzana x twofaced. - Strangers [NIGHTMODE] Kavinsky - Cameo feat. Kareen Lomax KAVINSKY - NightcallKavinsky - Zenith (Someone on youtube was saying this is supposed to be the spiritual successor to Night Call)Playtime Is Over by Le Matos - Studio Session for Mondopalooza Danger - 22:41 Portal · Rebuke Doja Cat - Streets (MCG Remix) The Chase (Rebūke Remix) THAT KIND - Here Comes The Rain Again (Nalestar Remix) RÜFÜS DU SOL - On My Knees (Adriatique Remix)

I apologize in advance for this being a long post. The pro shop at the house I bowl league in is part of the bowlingworld.biz group. This particular pro shop is a Brunswick focused pro shop and I have purchased several balls from them over the last year. My family bowls as well and we all managed to add a couple of HK22 balls to our arsenal. We have all experienced the same thing with those balls. There is a tremendous drop off in performance in a short period of time with HK22. They need to be rejuvenated about every 30 games. All of our Brunswick stuff that is not HK22 has been really easy to maintain and continues to perform at a high level. Recently I noticed that there were a good number of bowling balls that went on sale in the pro shop. Most of them were HK22 balls. Top Speed, Tundra Fire, GB4 hybrid, Verge Hybrid, and others. Really “good balls”. Even after being marked down between 40 and 60 bucks and including free inserts, they are not selling. I don’t think they have sold a single one of the HK22 balls. I bought one of the non HK22 balls a couple of days ago and that only leaves the Rhino Pro and a Messenger Solid as the non HK22 balls on sale. On the most recent Perception vs Reality podcast it was mentioned that Radical had gone back and developed an old pre HK22 coverstock and is going to release it on a ball. It will not have HK22 added to it. I’m starting to wonder if HK22 in 2025 is going to be referred to as the great mistake… I have seen enough and heard enough of these HK22 balls rapidly degrading to know that it’s a trend. One of my family members bought a BW 2.0 hybrid and it has lost 75 percent of its original performance in about 6 months. The ball might have 40-50 games on it and has been cleaned after each use. I can see some degradation being there but not going from a medium heavy oil ball to a dry lane ball degradation. I have a solid BW 2.0 that probably has close to 100 games on it and it still works great. I bowled against a adult and youth bowler the other day in a league and the kid was throwing the adult’s old 2.0 hybrid because it didn’t hook any more and the youth bowler rolls a straight ball.. Brunswick is going to continue to promote this until the very last HK22 ball is released, but I’m wondering if behind the scenes they are easing away from HK22. I may be jumping to a conclusion too soon but it’s just an observation. Plus I have seen a ton of SPI balls being brought into the pro shop to get drilled. Tells me they still like the guy that drills their balls, but they don’t like the balls he sells anymore.

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First / Previous / Royal Road / Patreon (Read 12 Chapters Ahead)

A quick look around town confirmed it was just going to be the four of them heading into the mines. Everyone else was either dead or too busy pulling themselves together after the onslaught of the undead. Az and Sable had done an excellent job of clearing the living dead out of town, and now there was only an occasional stray gunshot to indicate that some of them were still walking around. The immediate danger seemed to have cleared, at least as far as Alain could see.
"Are you sure you're okay?" Sable asked as they started walking.
"I'll be fine," Alain insisted. "Worry about yourselves."
"You're the most heavily-injured one out of all of us," Az pointed out. "We're right to be concerned."
"It can wait. For now, we've got work to do."
Az and Sable looked like they both wanted to argue, but refrained. Felix, meanwhile, drew close to Alain.
"Hey," he said. "What are we expecting to see down there?"
"That's a question for Az and Sable," Alain answered. "You two hear that?"
"We did," Sable confirmed. "And we have no idea. It could be anything."
"Fucking great…" Alain muttered.
They eventually reached the opening to the mine, just outside of town. It was completely clear, from what they could see – no undead anywhere, and Mayor Adams was nowhere to be found.
"I'll take the lead," Az offered. "You three stay behind me. Especially you, Alain."
Alain scowled, but nodded. He checked to ensure his shotgun was loaded, then fell in behind Az as he began to move through the mines. Felix walked alongside him, close enough that they were almost shoulder-to-shoulder. The entire time, Alain kept his eyes peeled for any threats, but the only things down there were the occasional stray undead, which were taken care of in short order by either Az or Sable.
"Something isn't right…" Alain muttered. "Why would they bother leaving the mines unguarded if whatever they're trying to do is located down here?"
"No idea," Sable replied. "And we won't know unless we keep moving."
Alain nodded, despite the reservations welling up in his mind. They kept moving, dealing with the odd living corpse or two, before they finally reached a massive opening at the base of the mine. They moved to enter through it, but an invisible force barred the way.
"The fuck...?" Alain breathed as he ran right into it. It was completely invisible, and yet it felt like there was a wall in the way somehow. He tentatively raised a hand up to touch it, and sure enough, it was solid like stone.
"It's a force field," Sable said, her eyes widening in surprise. "I didn't think they'd be able to successfully raise one…"
"What does that mean, exactly?" Felix asked.
"It means that whatever they're doing down here, there's layers to it. Someone was sacrificed to turn the deputies into wights; someone else was sacrificed to raise this barrier. The rest will have been used to fuel whatever they're trying to do down here. That can only mean that whatever they're trying to do, it's really bad, otherwise why risk going after so many people?"
"Correct," someone said through the darkness.
Alain's eyes narrowed. "Adams," he growled, pulling his shotgun into his shoulder. "Come out where I can see you, coward."
"In due time, Alain. For now, I think I'd rather watch you all squirm like the maggots you are."
The earth began to shake once more, and the ground beneath their feet started to shift as bodies dug their way through the dirt, clawing at them.
"Everyone out!" Sable shouted. "Out of the mines, now!"
"We can't just-" Alain protested.
"If we stay here, we'll be drowned under a tide of undead! We have to leave, now!"
"But the ritual-"
"We'll come back," Sable promised. "They won't get away with whatever they're trying to do, trust me."
Alain reluctantly nodded. Sable took off running, and the rest of them followed after her, retracing their steps back through the mine. Undead rose all around them, snapping or clawing at their heels. Alain narrowly managed to avoid being bitten, as did Felix; both of them fired their weapons as they went, taking down any undead who came too close to them.
Eventually, the four of them emerged out from the mines. Thankfully, there was no further undead incursion yet – the town was completely quiet. Felix and Alain doubled over, gasping for breath. After a moment, they stood tall, wiping sweat from their brows.
"What do we do now?" Felix asked. "Because there's no way we're getting through whatever that barrier is as we are."
"There must be some way around it," Alain urged. "Sable, Az, you'd know, right? Tell me we can get around that thing before it's too late."
"No ritual is truly impenetrable," Sable explained. "They all have some kind of downside in the end, even the really powerful ones. Of course, the downsides may be a bit esoteric or hard to discover, but they still exist, it's just a matter of finding them."
"And I have a suggestion as to where to look, my lady," Az interjected. "The mayor's house should be fairly unguarded by this point. I say we start there."
"And if there's nothing there?" Alain couldn't help but ask.
Az's gaze narrowed. "Hopefully, we find something."
"That doesn't answer my question. What do we do if we can't find anything useful?"
Neither Az nor Sable had an answer for him. Alain's brow furrowed out of frustration, but he didn't offer any further argument.
"Alright, the mayor's house it is, then." He turned towards Felix. "You know, you don't have to come with us. You've done plenty as-is."
"Fuck that," Felix declared. "I've come this far, I'm not stepping back any time soon. Where you three go, I go."
Alain shrugged. "Suit yourself. So long as you're insistent on coming along, you should take the lead on this one – you'll get us there faster."
Felix nodded, then stepped in front of the group, reloading his weapons as he walked.
–
The trip to Mayor Ansley's office took just a few minutes given Felix was guiding them, but even despite the short walk, Alain's feet were killing him by the end of it. All the excitement and exertion from the past undead incursions were taking their toll on him – he was exhausted, and he could tell he wasn't the only one. Felix was struggling to stay awake, Sable was letting out the occasional yawn as she walked, and even Az, stoic as he was, had bags forming under his eyes.
By the time they reached the mayor's office, the moon was high in the sky, casting a faint glow on the desert sands below it. Az wasted no time in bashing down the door, and the four of them entered, Felix and Alain with their weapons at the ready.
"Doesn't seem like there's anyone home," Felix surmised as he holstered his pistol.
"Don't let that fool you," Alain warned, slinging his shotgun over his shoulder. "I wouldn't be surprised if Ansley has something waiting for us somewhere in here."
Sable looked around the house, frowning. "This is it? It only has a few rooms…"
Felix turned towards her, mouth agape. "Lady, this is the biggest house in town. Are you used to castles or something?"
"Yes, actually. But that's neither here nor there."
Sable brushed past Alain, peering into a nearby room. She frowned, then shook her head. "Searching this place is going to take ages."
"We don't have ages," Alain reminded her. "Tear this place apart if you have to, I don't think any of us care about keeping it intact at this point. We just need to find something that can point us in the right direction."
The others nodded, and then they split up, each taking a separate room for themselves. Alain ended up in what appeared to be the study, if the wooden desk lined with stacks of paper was any indication. He briefly rifled through the documents on the desk before dismissing them outright – there didn't appear to be anything useful there, just information about the mine for prospective investors.
After a few minutes of searching through the room, Alain was beginning to grow frustrated with his lack of progress. He looked around, his gaze landing on a grainy black-and-white photograph of Los Banos; his eyes narrowed, and out of sheer frustration, he picked up a nearby paperweight and hurled it at the picture. The frame shattered, and it fell to the ground. Alain stared at it before his attention was drawn to something behind it – a small, black, combination safe. He blinked, surprised, then called out to the others.
"Hey, I think I've found something!"
They all came running into the room. Alain pointed at the safe, then turned to Az.
"Think you can get that open?" he asked.
Az didn't give a response, but just cracked his knuckles. He stepped over to the safe, then in one fell swoop, ripped it out of the wall. He motioned for Sable to come join him, and she held onto the rear end of the safe while he grabbed the dial. Together, the two of them pulled, and after a few seconds of straining, the lock broke and the door opened.
Az reached inside the safe, then pulled out a small leather-bound book. He opened it, then began to read through it.
"What is it?" Felix asked. "Some kind of ledger?"
Az shook his head. "It's a journal of some kind."
"What's it say?" Alain questioned.
"Nothing at the moment. Let me read a bit-"
Az suddenly trailed off, then looked up to Alain. He cleared his throat.
"'April 30th, 1883 – I visited that strange man, the gypsy, out on the frontier again. He calls himself a seer from the old country, whatever that means. He's an odd one, but his wares are interesting to me – all kinds of trinkets from somewhere in Europe. I purchased a few of them simply to sate my own curiosity. I wonder if any of his stories about them are true…'"
"June 26th, 1883 – I went back to the gypsy again, and this time I made sure to loosen his tongue a bit with some whiskey. Really, I just wanted to hear more of his stories about the old country – those tidbits about the supernatural are really interesting, after all. Instead, I received far more than I expected. The old man claims to have discovered something akin to a fountain of youth. He clammed up immediately after mentioning it, however; nevertheless, he had my interest. Perhaps a bit more whiskey and money would loosen his tongue…'"
"August 9th, 1883 – I visited the old man for what I hope will be the final time. Sure enough, the alcohol and the money did it – he was all too willing to tell me what he knew after that. Turns out there's a ritual that needs to be performed in order to attain eternal youth, one that requires human sacrifices. It is unfortunate that innocent lives will need to be given up, but at the same time, there are people far more valuable than the sacrifices out there. After all, what is one prostitute compared to a wealthy businessman? Especially one so willing to pay for what I have to offer. And that's to say nothing of myself – one providing such a service for the world deserves to have a little something good come his way, I think…'"
Az finished reading, then looked up to the rest of the group. And for the first time, Alain saw traces of emotion on his face – disgust, mixed with a tinge of horror.
"That son of a bitch…" Sable said, gritting her teeth. "We should have known that's what he was planning. It makes sense – the secrecy, the human sacrifices, the undead… it all leads back to what's in this journal."
"So how do we stop him?" Alain asked.
Sable shook her head. "We need to figure out how to get past that barrier first. The book didn't mention anything about a ritual for that, but I think we can assume he got it from the same place as the other."
"The old man," Felix finished. "Yes, I agree."
"Then we know what we need to do," Alain said. He turned to Az. "Does the book say where to find the old man?"
"In some of the earlier entries, yes," Az answered. "We should be able to track him down using this."
"Alright, then we know what we need to do," Alain replied. "Let's just hope we can get to him before it's too late."

Special thanks to my good friend and co-writer, Ickbard for the help with writing this story.

For those in Blacksburg, here's a rundown of some of this weekend's top events that you can enjoy:
Weekend Rundown of Fun: 1. Beer Tasting with Eastern Divide Vintage Cellar, Blacksburg Friday, May 17, 2024, 4:00 - 7:00 PM Admission: Free Vintage Cellar welcomes Brandon from Blacksburg's own Eastern Divide Brewing Company for a special beer tasting event. Must be ages 21 and older to participate. IDs are required. Link: http://www.nextthreedays.com/FeaturedEventDetails.cfm?E=777423
2. Pearisburg Community Market 2024 Kickoff with Music at the Market ft. Music from Ride'n Shotgun Band Pearisburg Community & Recreation Center, Pearisburg Friday, May 17, 2024, 5:30 - 7:30 PM Admission: Free The Pearisburg Community Market kicks off their 2024 Music at the Market series featuring the Ride'n Shotgun Band performing . Join them on the front lawn at the Community Center for live music, a variety of unique vendors, get a bite to eat from the Simple Fixins food truck, Hope Church NRV's Hamburger Camp Fundraiser and dessert from Dough Dees or Kimmies Kandy. In addition there will be a free art activity for kids. The Ride'n Shotgun Band is five-member band based in southwest Virginia playing popular country and rock music. Bring a chair or blanket to enjoy. Link: http://www.nextthreedays.com/FeaturedEventDetails.cfm?E=777443
3. Friday Nights at the Farm with Music from Celie Holmes and Black Coffee Beliveau Farm Winery, Blacksburg Friday, May 17, 2024, 6:00 - 9:00 PM Admission: Free Join Beliveau in welcoming a special musical guest every Friday night with live music from 6:30 PM to 8:30 PM and sing along to all of your favorite classics. Celie Holmes and Black Coffee perform a well-rounded repertoire of jazz standards, R&B, light rock and more and are based in Virginia. Enjoy food from Beliveau's full service kitchen until 8:30 PM and chat over a glass of wine during their extended bar hours until 9:00 PM. Get a $5 Beliveau Buck to use during your next visit for every $50.00 you spend on Friday nights from 6:00-9:00 PM. Link: http://www.nextthreedays.com/FeaturedEventDetails.cfm?E=777448
4. Dirt Road Breakdown in Concert Rising Silo Farm Brewery, Blacksburg Friday, May 17, 2024, 6:00 - 9:00 PM Admission: Free Lee Worley and Bob Chew bring you swamp rocking Americana and classic honky tonk plus originals and enough rock and rockabilly to keep your feet a jumping. This unique duet we'll have you thinking it is a full four-piece band. Drawing from North Mississippi Allstars, Tom Petty, CCR, Black Keys, Muddy Waters, Jack White, Robert Johnson, John Lee Hooker, Rolling Stones, and more. Link: http://www.nextthreedays.com/FeaturedEventDetails.cfm?E=777072
5. May Bluegrass & Old Time Jam Session Newport Community Center, Newport Friday, May 17, 2024, 7:00 - 9:00 PM Admission: Free The Newport Community Center presents the Third Friday May Bluegrass & Old Time Jam Session. Bring your instruments and join us for a night of bluegrass and old time music in the cafeteria at the Newport Community Center. This is a family friendly event. Hotdogs, chili, cornbread and BBQ will be available for purchase. The Bluegrass & Old Time Jam Sessions are a monthly event that occur on the first and third Fridays of each month from 7:00 PM to 9:00 PM. Link: http://www.nextthreedays.com/FeaturedEventDetails.cfm?E=777005
6. Indoor Movie Night featuring The Greatest Showman Chateau Morrisette, Floyd Friday, May 17, 2024, 7:00 - 8:45 PM Admission: Free Chateau Morrisette presents an Indoor Movie Night featuring "The Greatest Showman". Bring the kids and join us for a special evening at the winery with free popcorn. Wine and cheese boards will also be available for purchase. The 2017 biography and musical drama "The Greatest Showman" is rated PG and stars Hugh Jackman, Michelle Wiliams and Zac Efron. Film Synopsis: Celebrates the birth of show business and tells of a visionary who rose from nothing to create a spectacle that became a worldwide sensation. Note: Due to the expected rain, the movie has been moved inside instead of the planned outdoor film. Link: http://www.nextthreedays.com/FeaturedEventDetails.cfm?E=777279
7. Sarai Sibeal and Alliens in Concert Dogtown Roadhouse, Floyd Friday, May 17, 2024, 8:00 - 11:00 PM Admission: $10.00 Join Dogtown for a fantastic night with two acts that will get you moving. Sarai Sibeal will open the show and will be accompanied by Cameron McLaughlin on bass, Willis Greenstreet on guitar, Janiah Allen on drums, John Pence on keys, and Vladimir Espinosa on percussion for this show. Sarah Bowles, also known as Sarai Sibeal, is a native Roanoker. Merging electro-soul with R&B and world music influences, Sarah crafts a mesmerizing fusion of sound that captivates and engages the audience. Alliens is a powerful Caribbean-funk, world groove sensation led by brothers Jamiel and Janiah Allen that merges diverse world rhythms into a magnetic musical tapestry. The band effortlessly blends rock, reggae, funk, ska, Caribbean soca, electronica, cumbia, and more, creating an infectious sound that defies borders. A cross-cultural blend of sound is rooted deep in their souls from growing and living in foreign lands. Top it off with conscious multi-lingual lyrics and sweet trio harmonies and you get an experience that moves mind, body and soul. Link: http://www.nextthreedays.com/FeaturedEventDetails.cfm?E=777458
8. 2024 Braveheart 5K Run / Walk Bisset Park, Radford Saturday, May 18, 2024, 7:00 - 11:00 AM Admission: $35.00 Run the the fastest 5k course in the New River Valley and support the American Heart Association in the process courtesy of Runabout Sports and Carilion Clinic. Race day registration is from 7:00-8:00 AM and the 5k starts at 8:30 AM. This race runs along the beautiful New River for its entirety. The course is flat, fast and perfect for setting a personal best or running your first 5k. Participants can register in person at Runabout Sports within the First & Main Shopping Center or online. Awards will be awarded to fastest runners by gender and age group. As part of the Runabout Sports 2024 Race series, you will accumulate points towards overall and age group series awards. Link: http://www.nextthreedays.com/FeaturedEventDetails.cfm?E=777394
9. 2024 Pearisburg Junior Woman’s Club Junior Jamboree Pearisburg Community & Recreation Center, Pearisburg Saturday, May 18, 2024, 9:00 AM - 2:00 PM Admission: Free Donut Dash: Ages 3 & Up: $5.00, Ages 2 & Under: Free The Pearisburg Junior Woman’s Club (PJWC) will be hosting its 2nd Annual Junior Jamboree featuring a wide variety of events. The fun starts off with the Donut Dash from 9:00-10:00 AM in front of the basketball courts and is open to all ages. Participants will stroll along the park trail with tasty donut stops along the half mile trail. They will make their way to the pavilion where gourmet donuts and coffee await. All proceeds from the Donut Dash will help fund the expansion of Dolly Parton’s Imagination Library in Giles County. At 10:00 AM, artists, crafters, local organizations and food trucks will be set up on the lawn of the Pearisburg Community Center. Additionally, enjoy live entertainment from the Giles County School of Dance at 11:00 AM, followed by Dance Motion performing at noon and closing out the entertainment at 1:00 PM is The Honey Drops. The Honey Drops are a young trio of singers (Aubrey Adkins, Ella Butler, and Ky Fury), ages 14, 15, and 16, based out of West Virginia. Their influences are broad, from Fleetwood Mac to the Killers and the Wailin’ Jennys to show tunes. Link: http://www.nextthreedays.com/FeaturedEventDetails.cfm?E=777273
10. The Little Event (Litter Clean Up) Iron Tree Brewing Company, Christiansburg Saturday, May 18, 2024, 9:00 - 10:00 AM First Beer is 50% Off After Turning In Full Bag of Trash from Little Clean Up Join Iron Tree, Community Pizza, The Grill, and Baking is for lovers for a litter clean up event. Stop by Baking is for Lovers or Iron Tree Brewing between 9:00-10:00 AM to grab an empty grain bag and gloves. Then drive to your favorite park, neighborhood or hang around the brewery and fill up the bag with trash. Then bring the grain bag full of trash back to Iron Tree or The Grill for disposal and grab some lunch and a beverage. Participants, who fill a trash bag and turn it in, will receive 50% off their first beer at Iron Tree. Baking is for Lovers offers 10% off any item, Gardner's Frozen Treats and Gardner’s Frozen Treats will offer 20% off one treat and Gardner's Grill will offer 20% off one entree and Community Pizza will be doing 20% off any pizza during dinner service. The event is rain or shine. Link: http://www.nextthreedays.com/FeaturedEventDetails.cfm?E=777489
11. 2024 Spring Repair Cafe Habitat for Humanity ReStore, Christiansburg Saturday, May 18, 2024, 10:00 AM - 2:00 PM Admission: Free The New River Valley Timebank and the Habitat for Humanity ReStore presents the 2024 Spring Repair Cafe. Stop by the ReStore for free repairs including sewing for clothes & more, small furniture & appliances, electronics, knife sharpening, plant repotting and more. A Repair Cafe is a free event that promotes repair as an alternative to tossing things out. Give new life to your cherished items. The New River Valley Master Gardener Association will hold a plant clinic in addition to providing assistance to repotting plants (bring your own pots & soil). The New River Valley TimeBank is a project of New River Valley Home, a non-profit that works to foster vibrant, lifespan-friendly communities by connecting people, resources and organizations. Link: http://www.nextthreedays.com/FeaturedEventDetails.cfm?E=777480
12. Fish Fry Fundraiser New Mount Olive United Methodist Church, Radford Saturday, May 18, 2024, 11:00 AM - 4:00 PM Fish Dinner: $13.00, Fish Sandwich: $6.00, One Piece of Whiting Fish: $3.50 Enjoy a fish fry including your choice of a Fish Dinner, Fish Sandwich or One Piece of Whiting Fish. The Fish Dinner includes two pieces of Whiting Fish, Baked Beans, Coleslaw, Roll and Dessert for $13.00. The Fish Sandwich includes one piece of Whiting Fish on a bun and coleslaw for $6.00. One piece of Whiting Fish is $3.50. A portion of the proceeds will go to the Richie Delaney Memorial Fund to benefit his children. On January 16th, Richard Delaney of Delaney's Kitchen, a restaurant in Fairlawn, passed away unexpectedly. As this is a tough time emotionally on the whole family, it is especially a tragic situation for Richard's three young children. Orders can be called in as well. Link: http://www.nextthreedays.com/FeaturedEventDetails.cfm?E=777481
13. BrewRidge Music Festival 2024 Mountain Lake Lodge, Pembroke Saturday, May 18, 2024, 12:00 - 5:00 PM General Admission: $20.00, Beer Tasting Tickets: $35.00 Celebrate Virginia craft breweries on Top of the World at Mountain Lake Lodge's 2024 BrewRidge Music Festival. Join them for a day filled with great music, delicious brews, and beautiful views. They will have an array of Virginia microbreweries and musical performances by local old-time Appalachian and bluegrass artists Tennessee Hillbuddies from 12:00-2:00 PM and Jim and Val Gabehart from 2:30-4:30 PM. Concessions will be available for purchase cash only including BBQ, burgers and brats during event. Beer tasting tickets include five full beers. Lodging Packages are also available which includes one night's lodging. Note: This event is cash only for day of event purchases. Link: http://www.nextthreedays.com/FeaturedEventDetails.cfm?E=776811
14. Blacksburg Mini Comic-Con B&B Theatres Blacksburg 11, Blacksburg Saturday, May 18, 2024, 12:00 - 5:00 PM Admission: Free Costumes are encouraged and prizes will be handed out throughout the day. Link: http://www.nextthreedays.com/FeaturedEventDetails.cfm?E=777442
15. Dungeons & Dragons One-Shot Adventure for Ages 8 & Up Blacksburg Library, Blacksburg Saturday, May 18, 2024, 1:00 - 4:00 PM Admission: Free Learn to play Dungeons & Dragons with a one-time adventure. All supplies provided. The time commitment will be about three hours. Children ages 8 and up are welcome with an accompanying adult. Admission is free though registration is required. Link: http://www.nextthreedays.com/FeaturedEventDetails.cfm?E=777474
16. The Art of Happiness: Bubble Prints Montgomery Museum of Art & History, Christiansburg Saturday, May 18, 2024, 2:00 - 3:30 PM Admission: Free The Montgomery Museum of Art & History presents the third program of The Art of Happiness 2024 series titled "Adopting Animal Characteristics through Clay". The Montgomery Museum of Art & History is bringing back "The Art of Happiness" during May, which is Mental Health Awareness Month. The month long series of events offer self-help coping tactics and strategies by using art exhibits, materials, and spaces as helpful tools to address emotional well-being. On May 18th, the program is "Bubble Prints". Creating calming and fun watercolor-like prints from paint-filled bubbles. Admission is free and all materials will be provided by the museum though registration is required. For adults 18 and older only. No art experience is needed. Link: http://www.nextthreedays.com/FeaturedEventDetails.cfm?E=775917
17. Documentary Fundraiser: Butterfly In The Sky Lyric Theatre, Blacksburg Saturday, May 18, 2024, 3:00 - 4:30 PM Admission: $5.00 Enjoy the award-winning documentary "Butterfly In The Sky" about the PBS children's show "Reading Rainbow". Inspiring and nostalgic, "Butterfly in the Sky" tells the tale of a revolutionary reading movement. Reliving the show’s legacy is a refreshing return to the written page. But you don’t have to take our word for it. It will be a fantastic afternoon celebrating books and the love of reading with representatives taking registrations for the Imagination Library program, along with Take and Make Craft bags and information on Summer Reading Programs from the Blacksburg Public Library, a Children's Books Pop-Up and gift card raffle from Blacksburg Books, and a special presentation from Storytime with Joelle. Ticket sale proceeds benefit Dolly Parton's Imagination Library of Montgomery County for local children. Tickets will be available in-person before the film or in advance online. Link: http://www.nextthreedays.com/FeaturedEventDetails.cfm?E=77748818. May Flashlight Tour St. Albans, Radford Saturday, May 18, 2024, 5:30 - 7:30 PM Admission: $20.00 St. Albans presents their May Flashlight Tour with registration at 5:30 PM and the tour from 6:00-7:30 PM. The Flashlight Tour is guided and includes a little history and paranormal in one. Hear all the chilling tales of what paranormal investigators, and the public, have encountered within these 120 year old walls. A little bit of history, a little bit of paranormal. Tickets are available online in advance and will be sold at the door provided tickets are still available. Wear comfortable shoes and bring a flashlight as there will be lots of walking and many dark areas. Dress accordingly as the building is not climate controlled. You must be 18 years of age (16 if accompanied by a parent or legal guardian). The monthly Public Paranormal Investigation will occur from 8:00 PM - 1:00 AM with registration at 7:30 PM and is $35.00 for those interested. Link: http://www.nextthreedays.com/FeaturedEventDetails.cfm?E=777483 19. Spring Fed Roots in Concert Rising Silo Farm Brewery, Blacksburg Saturday, May 18, 2024, 6:00 - 9:00 PM Admission: Free Spring Fed Roots performs music rooted in the mountains of Southwest Virginia, nourished by the waters and inspired by the beauty. Link: http://www.nextthreedays.com/FeaturedEventDetails.cfm?E=777073
20. Merchant Copy in Concert The Blue Hen - Family Style Restaurant, Christiansburg Saturday, May 18, 2024, 7:00 - 10:00 PM Admission: $10.00 Merchant Copy is a classic rock & roll and blues band based in Roanoke, VA playing hits from the 70s and 80s. Link: http://www.nextthreedays.com/FeaturedEventDetails.cfm?E=777441
21. Free Appraisal Day Cambria Station Antiques, Christiansburg Sunday, May 19, 2024, 1:00 - 4:00 PM Admission: Free Join Cambria Station Antiques for a free Appraisal Day to find out what your family heirloom, antiques or vintage items are worth. Valley Auctions, LLC will be on site providing feedback and written appraisals. Guests are limited to one item per person with only small antiques or collectibles. Larger items can be appraised from multiple high quality photos and item dimensions instead of in person. No jewelry at this time. The event is first come, first serve. Note: Some items may require additional research, so appraisals may be sent after the event. Link: http://www.nextthreedays.com/FeaturedEventDetails.cfm?E=777457
For the live music line-up, visit: http://www.nextthreedays.com/FeaturedEvents.cfm?ET=1
For all the rest of the big weekend events, visit: http://www.nextthreedays.com/FeaturedEvents.cfm
Thanks for reading, have a great weekend and don't let the rain stop your fun!

First/Previous/Next
Gemma was right about the sky’s open night, and I could sympathize with her recollection of the beauty, but for me it must’ve been a greater tragedy—the young woman had only ever enjoyed the stars in the pits of Golgotha; I could, long before, drink in the sky at leisure. Cruel memories.
The night the Rednecks died was one of viscera, but before that it was coolness on the breeze, a warmth by the fires while John played his guitar and we had only just taken two dozen kegs of lager (personal reserves) from the Atlanta despot—the man that kept his subjects as slaves and not a person among the camp was left without budding intoxication. No matter the age, everyone was invited to be merry; if it was that children too faced the plight of a bad world, then so too should they reap the moments of plenty—or so the camp figured.
John had taken a group by the fires where wagons were drawn in interlocking semicircles for cover and Jackson sat beside the picker. Jackson was a man which normally preferred quiet reflection over boisterous singing and nearly never wore the band on his throat, and yet there he was belting out the chorus at the top of his lungs, tankard in hand, red cloth blazed around his neck—it was a contagion and those drunk enough for easier embarrassment sang proudly along:
“There is power, there is power in a band of working folk!
When we stand hand in hand,
That’s a power, that’s the power,
That must rule in every land!”
I’d taken to the outlying shadows with my back pressed against the gas-powered caleche, my own tankard in hand. I loved the warmth of that great big family, truly, but even in those days—and maybe it was that queer youthfulness which longed for individualism that made me that way then—I remained as distanced as possible when I could. I sipped the lager, it was a fine drink and my brother Billy, nearly as old as I was when I’d first taken up in the infantry, swaggered to stand beside me just as quiet for minutes and we looked at the stars and he asked me what it was like to kill a man.
“Is it hard?” he asked.
I nodded, “Sometimes.”
“Killing monsters ain’t so bad. Don’t know if I could do it to a person.”
“You could if they meant to kill you; or if they meant to do it to someone you cared about,” I promised him. In those days, spry, energized, I held no time for staring into abysses; though I still wasn’t a man fully, I pretended as one. It was about family, and it was about doing what was right—what’s right seemed to change, or I changed. The world felt stark with good and evil and even later I’d feel that sentiment well up in me, but if that’s true, I know I stand more on the latter and so I intentionally obfuscated it—this I know. If not, it might be too much to bear. I was required to lie to myself and even in knowing I lied, it was better.
Billy tugged on the red kerchief around his throat and asked me how it looked on him.
“Looks good,” I said.
“Don’t think I look stupid at all?”
I smiled over my drink, “You always look stupid.” I sipped. “The neckwear’s fine.”
“Give me a break,” said Billy; he investigated his own cup, gave it a swish with his wrist, watching its contents swirl. “Aren’t you ever afraid you’ll die?”
“Sometimes—nights like this—I wouldn’t mind it.”
“Really?” my brother asked.
“There’s always a chance of it. Every moment, I guess.”
He smiled. “I wish I had that confidence.”
“You’ll get it,” I returned his smile; it was true that he would gain the fighting spirit. It came to us all with time and reminiscing on the early days, I recall the grit and the hatred—there was learning there too though. Besides, I’d seen the squalors of a stationary man. The stagnation of a place, an unmoving home.
John put his guitar away and laughter erupted from the crowd from something said and Sibylle, cowboy hat cocked funny, traipsed across the camp to the open keg for a refill; the man there, tending the cylinders, was a man named Tandy (a foreigner and one unknown besides the way he smoked a skunk pipe and told wild stories). My mother leaned over while Tandy opened the spigot mouth on the keg, and she froze there, and I could see her there cut out forever against the light of the fires; I watched, and it came so suddenly that I couldn’t be sure what’d happened at all. It was so sudden that I couldn’t find my weapon and I couldn’t find even the courage to fight because in those moments it wasn’t courage I needed, it was grounds to understand.
Sibylle came apart in two pieces immediately, torn completely through and dust erupted as her legs struck the ground while her torso spun through the air like a top, a trail of liquid trailed after, caught in the blue of night so it shone as black; she couldn’t scream. Tandy was a statue. Before anyone could react, more flesh, other bodies, went up and there was all manner of limbs which filled the ground, and it is astounding how quickly a red mist forms across the ground during a massacre. Perhaps the wails of my comrades started before, perhaps others fell before Sibylle, but I could not comprehend the goings-on till I saw her drop the way she did.
Frail human screams rose on the night; I slammed to the ground, tankard gone away and hands scrambling in the dirt; I reached up blindly and yanked Billy to my level and his expression was one of innocence, panic, tears even. Glancing around, I saw the demons bolt from the pitch-black darkness on the edges of camp, mutants taking the fore while greater creatures lurked further back, some hurled whips of gliding metal which writhed over their heads when they stretched them out for a strike—alien—and they sliced directly through soft human bodies. Not even a cry escaped me, but Billy let go with it and I slapped my cupped hand over his mouth hard to hold the screams. His voice would not have been alone anyway, not alongside that startling cacophony. Amidst the cries of people, there were the cries of horses, of our hounds.
We rolled across the ground, slipped beneath the raised body of the gas-powered caleche, remained quiet in the dark, peeked out between the wheels.
“What’s happening?” Billy whispered through my fingers; I removed my hand from him and caught a glimpse of him framed in a square of firelight through the wheels—we lay there on our bellies and the left side of his face was glazed with dirt where I’d pulled him down.
“Shh,” I told him, “Shh, please. Please.” Not another word came while I pleaded with him, pleaded with the world to make this all a nightmare.
Through the haze and the running silhouettes painted black, I saw what might have been Jackson; he stumbled and in the moment that it took me to gasp, his head was gone from his body, his torso slid on as he collapsed, came to rest mere feet from the motor wagon. I told myself that it wasn’t him, but it probably was.
Some mutants lumbered through the camp like animated corpses, some leapt with wild energy or sprayed noxious fumes which lingered in the air; others still were amalgams of humanlike limbs themselves—fiends—exhausting terrible sounds, producing smells of sulfur, glistening with whatever liquids excreted from their oblong alien orifices. Demons ran amok, chanted in devil tongued languages, laughed madly at the destruction—others still, those which displayed some greater intelligence, broke into a song I could never hope or want to replicate; it seemed a unified damnation.
“Please,” I repeated in a whimper and Billy hushed me this time and I realized we were holding hands, squeezing for dear life as figures walked the camp, speared those half-alive, elected others for twisted carnality.
In darkness, in fright plainly, we scuttled from the recess of our hiding place, kept quiet, held to each other, and went into the wasteland where nothing was—every shadow was a potential threat, every second could’ve been the last. We were holding hands; then we weren’t.
Only a glance—that’s all I afforded my brother and nothing more—what a joke of a person I am! What a coward I was. Always.
Something got him in the dark and instead of dying alongside those I cared about, I went on, heartbeat driving me till it was all that I heard in my ears and my muscles ached and my chest heaved and sweat covered me, chilled me in the breeze of the night—it was only once I’d accepted the dark completely, crawled into a hollowed space of rocks along a squat ridge that I watched the demolished camp; it seemed no larger than a spark, but the creatures, fiends and others continued their war cries; never before had I witnessed demons participate in such an attack.
I watched till the sun came, till the fires became smoke, then I watched the band of hell creatures disband. The smell of sulfur remained in the air—copper too—and I stumbled back to the camp in a dreamlike daze, totally unbelieving of the things I saw. Among those dead on the ground, I could recognize none; among those piked from rear to shoulder, standing like morbid scarecrows where they’d been steadied against the ground, I could not want to recognize.
Many of the wagons were overturned, including the gas-powered caleche and I went to it; the metal of its body was warped but I fell to the ground by it and pushed my back against the exposed undercarriage, remained frozen there while examining the bodies, the terrible strips of skin which rested places like wet sheets of paper, the piles of bones removed and smashed and piled.
I cried so deeply that oxygen became a memory, and the shakes couldn’t be contained.
It was like that for so long, knees pulled up, face pushed between, and the wails came unafraid of whatever attention they might garner; there was no rationale, but I imagine if there had been, I would’ve welcomed death in that misery. It was a deep wound that not even my own cowardice would overcome for the sake of survival.
Unaware of my surroundings, not wanting to look up from the ground between my legs, the noise which had started out as imaginary became real and I raised my head then to listen better and wipe my sore eyes; it was the sound of clip-clop horse hooves and I mildly wondered if any of the animals had been spared. I stood and pivoted around the dead camp and there it was, a man on a painted horse with golden hair; he leisurely drove the mount through the place, maneuvering around pools of blood, clumps of body parts and upon seeing me, he smiled and offered a languid wave, keeping one of his gloved hands on the reins.
The man wore white and swished his hair back upon arriving directly in front of me. Ahoy, he offered kindly, Did you happen to see the other riders?
I shook my head, feeling numb.
Ah, he said, I could have sworn four other riders, at least, passed me on my way. His gray eyes examined the carnage. Shame. He shook his head. You are?
“H-harlan.”
He nodded and nearly offered an expression of genuine condolence before descending from the horse; the animal gave a gentle grunt and wandered away from its master to inspect a nearby group of the dead. The man offered his hand, and I took it in a shake. Mephisto, said the man. He flashed a smile again before his face grew serious. I’ve come to you to deal.
I shot him a questioning look, one of bafflement.
I heard your calls from far off. He nodded, removed a white handkerchief from his breast pocket and swiped it down his face. Hot out. He shrugged then replaced the cloth in his pocket. This, he motioned to the disarray of vehicles, of bodies, I can’t fix all this—it’s too much—but there’s a person you love, I know. I could bring them back.
“Doctor?” In retrospect it was such a naïve question.
He shook his head.
“Angel?”
He grinned and nodded, Sure.
“Demon?”
Undoubtedly. His eyes—pits of gray in that radiant face—nearly expressed solemness; he daintily shook the hair from his face and looked at his steed which sniffed a corpse. What’s the word, Harlan? There are others calling and I must be on my way soon—I can’t dally. There was a sharpness to the words. Can’t dally. We must convene soon, or I’ll mosey on.
I snorted back the clog in my nose from the tears and wiped my eyes with my sleeves. “Okay.”
Deal?
I nodded, “Deal.”
Sleep tonight, said Mephisto, Sleep and you’ll be rewarded in the morning.
“You said it’s a deal.”
He nodded and scanned the carnage before we matched gazes and then he said, Yes?
“What is it you want from me?”
Nothing you need now. He called the horse, and it came, and he swept his feet quickly from the ground and settled into position atop the animal. Sleep, Harlan. You won’t be bothered. There are worse things still over the horizon.
I watched him go till he disappeared and once he was gone, I couldn’t cry anymore and instead rummaged through the wagons for what I might carry; along the way I found John, face twisted but corpse intact. The body from the previous night that I’d guessed was Jackson couldn’t be determined but I found him nowhere else. I slid Sibylle’s holster from her hips, fell hard onto the ground and found that I could sob more. I took her cowboy hat, placed it on my head and held her pistol in one hand and the belt holster dangled from the other while I searched the other bodies; there were so many, but I could not find Billy.
Waiting for darkness, I took the spot where I rested, back against the caleche’s undercarriage, watched the sky and felt the gun in my hand; it was heavy. I put it to my head, closed my eyes, and whispered affirmations to myself then I put the pistol between my splayed legs, watched it still in the dirt, and pulled the hat down over my eyes but it did little for the smell. Though the brim of the hat cut the sky out, I watched the ground and saw circling shadows form overhead and heard calls of turkey vultures; they came to pick over the bodies. I withdrew my knees to my chest there again and laid my forearm across them and bit into my arm while closing my eyes. I had thought I was a man and for a time, maybe I was, but there in that miserable pit of despair I became a child again and if I’d become more delirious, I’m sure I might’ve called out for Jackson like it was a bad dream.
Into a fading stupor of sleep in the sun I went and when I awoke again it was dark and chilly and I was tired and hungry but too sick to eat and hardly strong enough to move; I looked at the gun and put it into its holster and left it there by the caleche. In the light of the moon and stars, I moved to gather a bolt of canvas; I unfurled the fabric and created a leaning shelter against the overturned vehicle and crawled into it. There was a hole in the canvas, and I peeked out at the stars.
Weeping came again, but not so uproarious; I was stuck there letting go of whimpers, lying on my back, feeling the tears trace in lines from the outer corners of my eyes to collect along my earlobes. In time, I fell to sleep again on the hard ground because the mourning had taken all else from me.
A pinpoint of sunlight broke my eyelids and I jerked awake and reached for the holster, but it was gone. So was the hat. I crawled from the leaning shelter and there he was.
Billy stood plainly among the dried, congealed blood-soaked field and he looked on to the horizon and all shadows were long in the midday sun which hung up there in a soft blue sky. Whether it be a dream or a spell, I couldn’t care—I charged to him and spun him so he faced me and though his face was plain and expressionless, I wrapped him into a forceful hug. He placed his hands on my back and gave a gentle squeeze; when I pulled from him, my hands on his shoulders, I saw he held Sibylle’s hat in his left hand, pinched by the brim; he’d already tugged her holster belt around his hips—he could have it all. I shook while holding him then let go to wipe my face.
“You’re alive,” I nodded.
He nodded without speaking then looked at the hat in his hand and placed it on his head and firmly pressed it down.
“Billy! Hell, you’re alive!”
The corners of his mouth twitched upward for a moment then he nodded again. “Yeah.” His eyes curiously searched our surroundings like he meant to take each detail in forever.
I slapped him on the shoulder and almost squealed. “Goddammit.” I wiped my eyes again and could do little to keep the excitement from exploding from me. “Oh, we should go. We should go on and get somewhere safe.”
He nodded toward the horizon, “’Lanta?”
“Sure.”
We packed and it was a like an ethereal phantom remained among us beside the quiet dead; turkey vultures cawed to break the silence, pecked where they pleased on the bodies, and I couldn’t want to fight them. I kept sidelong eyes on Billy with the ever-present worry that he’d vanish. Perhaps he was the phantom.
From the rear of the caleche, I removed a few sentimental books Jackson liked, essential cookware, and sparse rations for the trek. The last thing I grabbed was my shotgun and a bit of ammo.
As we set from the dead place, the terrible silhouettes that were cut from there on the horizon behind us grew in my mind with every backward glance—I wanted to fall to pieces, but I saw Billy walk alongside me and although contented is not the right word, it is the nearest. The steps of our boots were all that was heard because I could not fathom to pierce the space between us with words for fear that it would all end. It was a dream, surely. I’d lost my mind. With my hands thumbed into the straps of my pack, I saw I my hands still shook, and they would shake a lot longer—years and with memories too. The crunch of earth underfoot became a rhythm and instead of looking at my brother, I watched his shadow on the ground.
“Everyone’s dead?” He asked.
“Yeah.”
“You’re sure?”
“Yeah,” I repeated.
“How ain’t I? How ain’t you?”
To say that it was luck would’ve been too morbid. Instead of saying anything, I shrugged, kicked a loose stone, watched my feet some more, and felt a queasiness come over me. For the moment, the immeasurable deaths of those I’d left behind were forgotten in the company of my brother and a sickness welled up inside of me so suddenly that I felt that I’d fall to pieces at the slightest provocation. Finally, I did speak again, but only after steeling myself to the troubles, “Yeah, how are you alive?”
Billy shrugged at me then stumbled up a hill which overlooked trash wood wilderness where sticks lay twisted and bare and further on the sight of Atlanta was visible and I cupped a hand across my brow and Billy did the same and we looked on at the shadows of the place out there where strings of smoke rose from the skyline as a signature for the desolation of the city; it was dead. I felt it in my bones.
My hands were light while my head was heavy, my throat was dry, and the entire world seized in moments of stillness or perhaps it was my own vision which construed the world in that way; I took to the small hill which Billy had climbed and sat there and stared at the place between my feet to steady myself.
“Fire,” said Billy.
I nodded and nearly choked.
Leviathan—till then I had no belief in dragons—glided over the broken city, its winged shadow little seen but its voice was deep across the scene, letting go of roars which shook the ground. We hid among the trash wood and moved down the hill and watched the creature thrash in the air as if it was angry for its abominable life. Whatever millennia it spent in the pits of hell seemingly thrust upon it a love of destruction and pain.
My brother moved with a more assured stride and kept a cool distance and upon fleeing from the wreckage, from the outlying area of Atlanta and the place we’d left our family, he spoke little and watched me strangely whenever I took to melancholic fatiguing. We lit no fires for fear of what it could draw from the night so in the dark I’d see him watching some far-off place, maybe seeing through the reality which surrounded us, and he’d snap from it, catch my eye, and disappear for minutes to scan the perimeter of whatever place we stayed. Being alongside my resurrected brother was lonelier than I could bear, and I hoped he’d disappear for good or that I could work up the courage to end my own life. It was like purgatory explained in books and for a time, it felt endless; upon witnessing the destruction of Atlanta, we pushed to Marrietta, and it was much the same. As was Chatanooga, Nashville, Knoxville, Louisville, Charlotte. The ocean had risen so that Fayetville was gone underwater, and the Florida leg disappeared completely as far as I’m aware. I understood later that Memphis was overlooked and more places further west were alive too, but when we’d exhausted the south, we moved north and found strongholds of families or traders or even small groupings of civilization, but by and large we found nothing much in the two years that we hoofed it from place to place; it was my doing mostly—I wanted to find a place untouched by the mayhem in the area my family had once patrolled.
In retrospect, I am certain that Billy only stayed by my side for convenience; there wasn’t any of my brother left in the man that was my travelling companion for that time. He was a ghost of a person and Mephisto had preyed upon my desire in the worst moment of weakness in my life. There were nights—maybe we’d taken up in a natural alcove for shelter or we’d locked ourselves in some ancient structure for sleep—I’d watch Billy lay where he was, Sibylle’s hat and holster lying beside him, and I’d think of putting him down but he’d stir and in a brief shadow I’d see my brother as he’d been and withdraw to bury my face in fake sleep to be met with images of the night the demons attacked where I’d shake, sweat, and bite my lips so hard I’d drink blood.
Two years we marched around the Appalachians and in that time, I felt myself wither and disconnect.
Upon moving further north we met Indianapolis—that’s what it was called back then—and it was run by an older woman called Lady Lazarus; I reckon her father, affluent and dead, was a fan of Plath. Indianapolis was fortified more than most with its high walls, and its wall men, and its underground facilities which produced substantial ammunition. We—me and Billy’s revenant—were travelling with a group of traders we’d taken up with from out west; they called themselves wizards and although they seemed of the occult, their spirits discounted whatever suspicions I might’ve had of them.
I remember first pushing through that big gate; the town kept with it an indisputable malaise and though we were greeted at the gate by the leader Lady Lazarus—her brothers came along with her—and her jovial demeanor carried a certain infectious quality, I could not help but notice that the regular denizens maintained a healthy distance from their leader (the guards which followed the Lady everywhere probably had something to do with this).
Lady Lazarus touched each of our hands in greeting with enthusiasm and I could not help but notice how soft they were, how vibrant her eyes were, how much she smiled, and how beautiful she was given her age; already her head was fully gray.
Upon meeting each of us, going through the wizard traders first, she came to me, and Billy and she shook my hand then pivoted to Billy.
“Welcome. You can call me Lady.”
Billy caught her hand in his, held it longer than she’d intended so that they held eye contact, and he smiled broadly, tipped the cowboy hat on his head back to expose his smooth forehead and said, “And you can call me Maron, mam. You are quite a sight for a tired man.”
Though Maron—as he’d named himself—was more boy than man, Lady took a disturbed liking to him immediately and we prolonged our stay in Indianapolis after the wizards departed to head west.
Under the rule of Lady, Indianapolis was a theocracy, with her addressing the huddled masses at the steps of her grand abode, she’d preach for hours on sin and strife and quote her favorite passages; though reminiscent of my time with the Rednecks, I never found any truth or sincerity or freedom in her teaching—hers was more trouble, brimstone, fire and I’d had enough of that for a lifetime. Public execution was common. As was torture.
Maron distanced himself further from me, but I remained to keep an eye on him—it was not sentimentality but rather I existed without purpose and conjured some from watching my brother.
Often, Lady invited Maron to her private rooms and though the rumors and speculation ran the full spectrum of perverse speculation, every denizen feigned ignorance at her pregnancy.
Upon giving birth, the infant was malformed with two heads—her brothers took this as an omen and killed the child, put their leader in the stocks for months, and stripped her of dignity while the denizens did to her what they pleased.
Maron rose through the wall men while Lady’s brothers assumed control of Indianapolis and called themselves Bosses; in the time since Lady’s reign, the place was renamed to Golgotha for its closeness to a messiah.
I went west but always found myself drawn back to Golgotha because of some emptiness in me. It was only with Suzanne that I wanted something more and knowing them, I almost believed in a world like the one that children dream about. The world that Gemma and Andrew chased after when they left home, like the one Aggie talked about in her mother’s books. There’s a hopelessness in me that I’ll never be rid of. In the interim between our initial arrival to Golgotha and that flight from that terrible city, I cannot know how many people I sacrificed in convening with demons because I refuse to know because the number would destroy me. That is the worst of it; I do not even have courage enough to face myself or the actions of my past in any substantive way.
Mephisto tainted me so that I could speak with his kind as a dealmaker and the disease grew.
Billy or Maron or whatever he is should have been reaped long ago or better, I should never have brought that abomination alive. Such a cruel world where a deep longing like that can be inverted, weaponized. Me and him should both die; me and him should have died a long time ago.
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Hello Food Truck Experts,
I am a business student working on an entrepreneurial pitch and could really use some help from y'all. My question is for those who have ever worked large outdoor events. Whenever there are food trucks and other pop-up shops at a venue (like a concert, or even a large youth soccelacrosse tournament), is it the venue that pays the food truck to come, or do the food trucks pay the venue for the right to sell there? Or is it neither? Sometimes I see that a venue will pay a large fee to a caterer for free food for all attendees, but I'm talking about a situation where each customer is paying for their own food.
Further context: I am trying to develop a business strategy behind a company that helps pop-up shops (food, retail) connect with large event organizers who can mutually benefit. I want to know what the best opportunity to generate revenue is. Here are my options in mind: 1) I can charge venues a fee for connecting them with food trucks and retail pop-ups. 2) I can charge food trucks a fee 3) I can help new food trucks and pop-ups pay for their original expenses, and take in a percentage of all future sales while helping them identify high-traffic and high-demand areas/venues/events . Please let me know what you like the best, whether it is any of those 3 or an option 4 I am struggling to see!
TLDR: Help a business student identify gaps in the food truck / pop-up market and how to best generate revenue in the area.

I’m understanding there is a pretty good sale that’s going to be running with her over the next little bit. But I’m entirely new to what offerings are available with gold bullion, as in I’ve never bought anything with it.
So I have about 3-4K saved up, and while I’m not sure what the prices will be yet, from what I’ve read I’ll be looking for SS gear, underarmor and maybe some weapon plans?
I run without power armor, currently have a shotgun build though im going to move towards a heavy build soon. I’m also interested in anything useful CAMP related. Any suggestions on how to spend my funds?