Things that rhyme with kindly

So I just woke up a bit over an hour ago, and I've been trying to ask my friends or look up dream meanings, but my friends ignored it and continued talking about something else unrelated, and the dream meanings didn't help. This whole thing really shook me, so I'm just asking for some guidance, and interpretations if anyone wants to.
It basically started when my mom and I were driving somewhere, and it was dark and rainy. For some reason the wheel was on the other side (usually have the wheel on the left, in this, the wheel and my mom were on the right) and I wasn't entirely in the passenger seat, but not entirely in the back seat, and not entirely on one side, I was just kinda in the middle, but I was facing out the window. My old 6th grade world cultures teacher (I'm currently in 8th, about to go to high school next year) suddenly appeared outside through the window, holding a gun. She tried to shoot through the window, towards my mom, but the gun wasn't working, and we were able to get away.
I don't remember the exact order of events next, but here's a lot of what I remember: We were in a bakery type place (this appears a lot, so we'll just call it the bakery) and the teacher came in, with a purse, and she pulled a gun out of it and started trying to shoot us again. We were driving again, same positions that I described, and the teacher was outside the window again. This time I wasn't able to see her shooting, but I saw bullet holes appear one by one on the front window, just by my mom's head. She was scared, probably cause she almost got shot, and I was scared for my mom. Bakery again, this time with my grandma with us. I saw the teacher come in, with her purse, starting to reach in for the gun, but then she saw my grandma. They go to the same church, that's how I originally knew the teacher, so I guess the teacher was scared to be seen by my grandma doing some unholy act or something. My mom saw as well, and we hurriedly left, and ran to our car while the teacher tried to get back out the door she came in.
Then, it was always an instinct. And my friends were involved too. Whenever we saw her with a purse, we knew there was a gun in it, so we ran. This happened a lot, over and over again. By now there's been a lot of death. But now the focus shifts. It's not as important or terrifying to me, but I'll still include it.
I was running through a slightly wooded area on a sunny day, like the grass and trees (if you could even call them trees) and sky were all wheat colored. It was kind of nice but also not at the same time? Anyway, I was running down a path, trying to go get something, and got one of those alerts on your phone thats like "a child went missing, etc etc etc, find them" (it wasn't that, but you know what I'm talking about) but it talked about dogs with human eyes and something about human teeth too. Like, I think there was an old meme/creepypasta of something similar? I never really knew what that was, it just came to me as I was writing. Anyway, I started running back, and I got two more alerts, and they seemed so random and unimportant that I laughed out loud in the dream. I think one of them was something about a worldwide announcement that some guy wouldn't be running for office next year. That wasn't the announcement, it was about the announcement. And I don't remember the other one.
Anyway, at some point a friend was running with me. Eventually we saw a dog, similar to a German shepherd. We stopped. There was an elderly lady nearby as well. Everything was still wheat colored. We looked at the dog. I didn't notice much about its eyes until I looked at my friends, and they were almost exactly the same. The elderly lady started talking about its teeth, and to make sure to look and check. You know how people subconsciously hide something when people are talking about it? Like if I said there was something in your teeth, you'd close your mouth or reach up and cover it. The dog did the opposite, it showed its teeth when she talked about them. And yeah, human teeth. They started approaching, and the elderly lady started telling us how to protect ourselves, which at this point was just to pretend like a dog so you blend in. That's when it ended.
There wasn't much to be scared of in the second half, but the first part was still scarring me, and I woke up scared to death.
I saw something about someone chasing you representing something you're trying to get away from, and the only thing I can think of is that teacher was always very Christian, even as a teacher, when I'm pretty sure our school doesn't allow religion being forced on students. I grew up in a religious family (it was mainly my grandparents, my mom is a bit more relaxed on religion and is fine with letting me stay home while she goes to a better, more accepting church than my grandparents' church), but I don't believe in it, so I separate myself from it as much as possible.
Honestly, I swear, if I see that teacher at a store today, with a purse, I probably will leave, immediately.
But yeah, spent a couple hours fearing for my mom's life. That was fun.
So if anyone has any guidance or interpretations, that would be appreciated.

I also wanna share my story so it's going to be long. So we we were classmate from middle school until highschool. We got along well and really became bestie since highschool. We hung out in the same group of friend and I am the type if girl that get along well with both girls and boys. He was the closest opposite-sex friend I got tho. People always asked if we we're dating because of some acts wedl did together like sharing the same seat or sleeping on each other's lap. I also wondered what he thought about me. Every time people asked if we felt embarrassed doing those acts he just told them "I know it sounds weird but I don't see her as a girl". Well I mean my personality does like a boy since I'm athletic. We happened to go to the same college and I was happy like he was the only one I knew went to the same college as me. We hung out alot, the group of friends from before still sometimes go with us but usually just me and him. One more reason we were so close is because we are addictive to the same video game. We communicate almost everyday because I would grind my rank every day after school with him. One day we took a day off together to grind rank, after that, he invited me over his house watch movie and hang out together. I accepted the offer and didn't even think about the barrier of two sex as we were so close all those years. We really did watched movies and I drank a little too much mixed fruit alcohol so I was abit drunk. I remember he tried to touch my thighs and ass after I got drunk but I pushed him away. Didn't think much until he grabbed my breasts. I hitted him and jump on his bed. I start to feel something is off but I still ignore and tell him to switch the movie. To my surprise, he climbed on bed with me and played a porn video. I was shoked but stayed silent. But he stary hugging my waist so I pushed him away...after that I fell asleep and my memories faded abit. I only remember he said something about I was being crazy and he wanted to have sex with me. I don't remember resisted that strongly tho I think it was because of the alcohol... then he just assaulted me. After that he turn on the movies again like nothing happened until the next morning then he raped me again this time I resisted and shouted at him. Then I call my mother to pick my up. I didn't tell my mother tho just told her I got a party at his place. The strange thing is that even tho I was disgusted and feeling violated. I don't feel any hatres toward him. Not even mad. We just got another game today and he asked if I remember what he did and said he had a bad day and that he sorry. I just kind of accept it and we just chat and game like normal. Of course a bit awkward but... I mean should I forgive him? I feel like I want to forgive him but he might think I liked what he did and do it again.

Hi, I (20F) have been in a polyamorous relationship with a guy (21M) for 1 year. Polyamory is pretty nuanced but our agreement is that while we are in a committed relationship, we can still explore our sexualities since we are both bisexual. I can see girls, he can see guys.
This is quite unusual, I know and a lot of people judge the quality of my relationship immediately when I say I’m polyamorous but it works for us and we’ve been really happy and hope to get married after we graduate.
In the beginning of our relationship, I was seeing a girl, we’ll call her Kelly who identifies as a lesbian. I absolutely adored her and she got on really well with my boyfriend. The three of us would watch movies together and fall asleep in the same bed without feeling uncomfortable. There was one problem, she would occasionally ghost me for 2-4 weeks due to health reasons. She is chronically ill and struggles with mental health. I have also struggled with mental illness and had to leave university for one year because of how bad it got. Nevertheless, I am on treatment now and mostly better. Because I can relate to having mental health issues, I tried to be as supportive as possible but her ghosting me for weeks at a time hurt very much especially because she would not communicate that she intended on having alone time. I would understand if it had been a few days. When she returned each time, she would not apologise until one day I started sobbing because she made me feel really confused and unwanted. She only ever apologised after I revealed that her actions hurt me but if I didn’t, she thought this behaviour was completely normal. It wasn’t the ghosting that hurt the most, it was the lack of communication about when she needed space and, the inability to recognise that her actions hurt me on her own, without any kind of prompt from me.
I eventually ended things with her which was extremely painful and hard to do because I truly loved her and my boyfriend and I enjoyed her company even if it was just sitting and chatting for hours.
Fast forward: I start seeing a new girl, we’ll call her Mary. Mary is a wonderful girl, but I was still hurting a lot from my experience with Kelly and I made her aware from the start that I am still processing a lot of the pain from my experience with my ex and that I’m working on it but that unhealed part of me might cause distrust.
Months go by, Mary and I become a lot closer. Exams start approaching and we’re seeing each other a lot less. It’s difficult to see each other because she doesn’t feel comfortable around my boyfriend and wouldn’t want to come over while he was there so he would have to leave every time we made plans and I hated doing that to him.
I need to give some context before we dive deeper. Over these few months, I spent time with her friends almost everyday at least for an hour and made an effort to get to know each and every single one of them and be on good terms with them. One of her friends called me pretentious to my face solely because I used the word, “idiosyncratic” in a conversation. This caught me off guard and when it happened, all her friends laughed at me including Mary which really hurt me because I would never let that slide if one of my friends said something like that to her let alone laugh. Some of her friends made me uncomfortable and were kind of mean to me? But I sat with them frequently anyway because I cared about her and wanting to make that sacrifice to spend time with her. In contrast, I have few close friends but the person closest to me is my boyfriend, naturally. Mary made no effort to get to know him or even be nice to him and this hurt me because my boyfriend is genuinely a soft and sweet person and I couldn’t understand why she wouldn’t attempt to get to know him seeing as I made so much of an effort with her friends.
I would initiate all our dates, pay for her and essentially give her princess treatment, listen to her and give her advice when she was depressed late at night even if I had a test the next day. I went to my 10am lecture venue 20 minutes early everyday just so I could pass her and chat to her for a bit. I wasn’t perfect but I did give her a lot of my effort and time.
A few times, I vented to her about Kelly and I apologised, saying I hate being that person to talk about their ex. She reassured me that it was okay and she was there for me which brought me so much comfort.
Things go steadily until we got closer to exams and we could barely see each other because her friends are kind of rowdy and rambunctious and it was too hard to study around them so close to exams. In addition, she never wanted to come over unless the boyfriend wasn’t there. We made plans multiple times but something came up each time. I started to miss her a lot and asked my boyfriend if I could have the apartment some time during the week to see her and he was more than happy to stay at res that night. I got her roses, unwrapped and cut them, got rid of all the thorns, spray painted one black because she likes black, rewrapped them, got her chocolates and spent 4 hours cleaning my house.
She texts me asking to move the time we were supposed to meet up from 6pm to 9pm and this initially upsets me because I get anxiety when plans are changed last minute but I said it was fine.
9pm comes, no text. 9:20, nothing. I begin to freak out. She eventually texts me saying she lost her phone in an Uber and is texting from her pc and can’t make it. The exact message was, “I lost my phone in an Uber, i can’t make it.”
I immediately started searching online for ways to track her phone. Tried helping her login to Uber on her laptop and place an enquiry for a lost item, then helped her track the phone using her google account and she found where it was. I googled a bunch of things about the safety of the area to make sure where she was going was safe and told her to take a friend. She gets her phone back and all is well. Then goes to sleep.
Now I don’t know if I’m being dramatic but what stood out to me was the lack of, “I’m sorry that I couldn’t make it, I know you really wanted to see me and probably made your boyfriend leave and put a lot of effort into this. It was a mistake but I am sorry for how it affected your day and feelings.”
This is what I would have said asap if it was me. Yes, she lost her phone by accident but that doesn’t mean that it had no consequences for anyone else. I’ve lost things by accident before and still recognised that I should have been more aware/ responsible and apologise. I am always the first to apologise in situations and sometimes profusely even if it’s not a big deal because I feel really bad when I inconvenience/ upset people.
I messaged her saying it really bothered me that she did not apologise and disregarded how that affected my day, plans and feelings. She messaged back saying she meant to apologise but she was tired and forgot and a bunch of excuses. This didn’t make it better for me. A simple, “You’re right, I did mean to say sorry but it slipped my mind and I should have said that immediately. I appreciate all the effort you made and I’m gonna make it up to you.”
I started to get more upset the more she made excuses and told her that it was resurfacing trauma from my ex because Kelly would only apologise after I said I was hurt and have a million reasons to justify it. I told her I was feeling triggered and I felt like I was reliving bad memories. She sent me a long paragraph saying it’s not okay for me to compare her all the time (I’ve never compared her to Kelly other than this time) and said me talking about how Kelly hurt me put pressure on her to not do the same things. I said I was so sorry for comparing her and I didn’t mean to make her feel bad, I was just expressing that I was feeling triggered and wanted her to stop explaining herself because it was making bad memories resurface. Regardless, I was wrong and I promised that it would never ever happen again and while I was not aware that talking about Kelly pressured her, I am now and want to discuss it more in person BUT I felt like this was the wrong time for her to bring up everything I had done wrong and could do better when she had literally just done something that hurt me and we were discussing that and the conversation just shifted. I said I felt that she was deflecting and that while her points are valid, I wish she had asked to speak in person, apologised and then said she wants to address another issue with me and bring all of those concerns up. I feel like if something has been bothering someone for months in a friendship OR relationship, they shouldn’t choose to finally bring it up in the middle of being called out.
She got defensive then I got defensive, I said I was sorry and never wanted to make her feel that way again and will give her space and she should message me when she is ready to talk. I asked if she still wanted the flowers, she said yes and I brought them to her on Friday.
No text from her after that, nothing. I text on Sunday asking her what’s wrong and she says and I quote, “I've thought about it and I don't think we should keep hanging out or whatever. The way you reacted to me and made me feel really horrible about myself on Wednesday just made me think that that's not how I want to go about situations like those in the future and that I don't think we're suited for each other.”
This gutted me not only because she referred to our relation as “hanging out or whatever” but because I thought we had resolved our problems and were going to work through them together. It also hurt me because she broke up with me via text knowing she would see me the next day on campus after her lecture. It also hurt because she had only said she doesn’t want to see me anymore when I messaged to ask what was going on knowing I had told her I am giving her space and she should message me when she is ready to talk. But this wasn’t talking, it was a definitive decision and instead of telling me, she left me hanging for days, freaking out while waiting for an update. Lack of communication, once again.
I also felt like while I had made a mistake, I gave her a genuine apology, promised not to do it again and wanted to discuss it more. How did I become the villain of the story all of a sudden?
I felt like I had been so good to her and this issue, while valid, wasn’t big enough to break up over and speak to me like I meant nothing. An in-person conversation with something approximating, “You were good to me and I appreciate the effort you made and enjoyed our time together but the way you handled our last argument made me realise that we are not suited for each other. I wish the best for you.” would have been so much kinder and I reread her text over and over again asking myself what I did to deserve a breakup like that.
AITA for comparing her to my ex and saying that she should have brought up the issues she had with me and what I had been doing wrong separately after a genuine in-person apology.

Hi. I am a Stardew Valley player who loves theory and mystery. I shared two articles here that I researched and gathered sources. I regretfully had to delete my second article due to the extremely negative reactions.
Everyone is free to use this place as they wish. Within the rules, of course. But I've noticed that when we think differently than people here, we get a lot of aggression. Thinking differently and creatively is something the maker of the game also likes. You are free to downvote things. Or to disagree with this idea. I only write my topics to meet and develop creative thinkers. Words like "wrong, lies, drama, bullshit" are not the right kind of communication.
I didn't expect such an aggressive attitude in a place I joined for fun. Is that normal? Maybe I felt differently.

I can get ordering a full meal from a restaurant or do full grocery shopping, but ordering from 7-Eleven to get a 24oz mountain dew and bag of chips? Like...what?? You can't be bothered to get off your ass and either pick up those kinds of things at a grocery store and have a stock, or go to the store yourself to pick up those minor things?
You're going to pay another human being to get in his car and drive to your door to drop off a junk snack like that? For CHIPS??? It looks so completely ridiculous seeing a person doing a doordash order at the counter and he has pop, chips, gum and a candy bar. All that stuff on its own is arguably overpriced but with the delivery it will be like 2x at least. And then you're supposed to "tip" the person for dropping it off?
Who do these people think they are that their time is so important that they can't just get up and go themselves? Like how do you not feel completely embarrassed to be summoning another human being to do that. And the doordash/app deliverers... sorry but how do you not feel like a complete loser picking up a snack for a grown adult?
(I can understand though if someone is sick ordering medicine or something with it).

I (23F) have been best friends with Lisa (23F) since we were kids. We've always been close, sharing everything and supporting each other through thick and thin. Recently, though, I’ve been caught in a dilemma that’s making me question our friendship.
Lisa has been dating Mark (25M) for about a year. Mark is a great guy—kind, funny, and genuinely loves Lisa. However, Lisa has been lying to Mark about a lot of things. She tells him she's working late when she's actually out partying, she hides the fact that she’s still in contact with her ex, and she even lies about little things, like her interests, to seem more compatible with him.
I’ve confronted Lisa about this several times, telling her that honesty is crucial in a relationship. She always brushes me off, saying it’s none of my business and that she’ll tell Mark the truth when the time is right. But the lies keep piling up, and I feel increasingly uncomfortable.
The breaking point came when Lisa asked me to cover for her while she went on a weekend trip with her ex. She told Mark she was going on a work retreat and asked me to back up her story. I refused and told her that what she was doing was unfair to Mark. She got angry, accused me of being judgmental, and said I was overstepping my boundaries.
Feeling guilty and conflicted, I decided to talk to Mark. I didn't want to hurt him, but I felt he deserved to know the truth. I told him about Lisa's lies and how she was deceiving him. Mark was devastated and broke up with Lisa immediately.
Now, Lisa is furious with me. She says I ruined her relationship and betrayed her trust. Some of our mutual friends think I did the right thing by being honest with Mark, while others believe I should have stayed out of it and let Lisa handle her own issues.
I feel terrible about the whole situation. I never wanted to hurt Lisa, but I also couldn’t stand by and watch her lie to someone who genuinely cared about her. So, AITAH for telling Mark the truth about Lisa’s lies?

Just started Rebirth two days ago and I absolutely can not be asked to proceed any further because performance mode is fkin disgusting and also can't play using graphics mode because 30 fps which is too laggy/choppy BUT I saw some article mentioning Rebirth being super smooth 60 fps on graphics mode on a Samsung Neo QLED which is the exact performance level I want (and expected), but I don't feel like there's a lot of info about what kind of screens would allow for 60 fps with graphics mode? Is there some quantifiable feature that can be used to easily predict what kind of screens would be able to achieve 60 fps on graphics mode, if that's even a thing?
can't believe i'm considering upgrading my tv just to play this title but any help appreciated since i'm not super knowledgeable with modern tech tvs

Hello everyone! The issue is that my boyfriend (34M), whom I (26F) have been dating for over two years, has been talking to other girls. He was sexting some, flirting with others he met online, and even trying to meet up with them. Funnily, they all rejected him, and no one wanted to meet up. When I confronted him, he claimed it wasn't flirting in his eyes but he was complimenting the girls, calling them "cutie pie" and similar things, trying to be overly flirting, you know, the kind of way guys act when they try to get in your pants.
I also discovered he used to have a Tinder account. He later told me he re-downloaded the app recently to deactivate his account after realizing how upset I was about it. Previously, when I asked if he had ever used Tinder, he lied, saying it was mainly for sexual hookups and that he wasn't the type to look for something like that.
Additionally, I found out that he subscribed to OnlyFans accounts at the end of 2023. His excuse as to why was because there was a lot of fights.He claims he has changed since then and hasn't done anything like that since the start of 2024.I am unsure if I can believe him.
The thing with the onlyfans account thingy that hurt me the most was,when it comes to sexual stuff I gave him everything he asked for and i'm a sexual person myself but at one point he didn't wanna have sex with me no more,i was still a virgin when we met and back then he was all over me and couldn't get enough,now he rather sits in his room and jerk off to other women online instead of having sex with me which just makes me feel undesirable.
I tried bringing it up and communicating with him, he says he doesn't wanna have sex in general but why is he jerking off to other women then? Can this problem be fixed or should I break things off?

I (24F) have been with my partner (23M) for almost two years now. Since we have met he has seemed to struggle with basic hygiene and self care. I didn't notice straight away (whether that was because he hid it at first or he actually made effort before I'm unsure of), but signs started to creep in.
When we first started dating I had to force him to visit a dentist (as his breath had a strong odur and visible plaque) he refused and held it off even when I refused to kiss him because of it, he would make excuses and say his teeth were fine. After I made him visit, his smiled looked amazing, but even today I have to remind him to brush his teeth.
I have to remind him to shower, I have started a new job and hadn't told him to for about a week or two and in that time he hadn't showered once despite working from home. I keep telling him to remember or to set reminders, he has remembered a little more recently but its still inconsistent.
He started growing out his hai beard and expectedly, he didn't know how to brush it and take care of it, so I had to show him multiple times and I've asked him to watch tutorials but he hadn't over the course of a year. I have brought him the products and brushes. We even had an argument at one point when i suggested he shape his beard (causally because i had just shaped my eyebrows and noticed they offer beard services), which he now agrees was silly. Whenever we go out I either have to do his hair for him or he would leave it as a mess because he seems completely unaware of how to take care of his beard/hair. This includes any dates or events, even my graduation I had to drop my flowers and fix his hair for him before photography.
However, today he came put of the shower looking and smelling amazing. He did his hair perfectly, brushed and hydrated his beard better than he ever has and dressed presentably. I could tell he also had a proper shower (with no prompting). This is this first time he has done any of this, and all so quickly aswell. I had actively convinced myself that he didn't know how to use a brush so had to do it for him this whole time. I was happy at first and then remembered he was seeing a friend today and then it hurt. This whole time, from every date and event, even my graduation to even small routine hygiene tasks I thought he was unable to do these things himself, but did so easily just to see a friend and get a drink.
Is there something I'm missing, I let it go this far because he excels in other areas and can be so kind, loving and caring. I also have my faults. However the dramatic 180 in one day when I had thought he had been completely inable has confused me. Was he pretending this whole time so I did this stuff for him, or did he stop caring the longer we were together?
TLDR: My BF seems to struggle with hygiene and I had to partially take care of him by reminding, prompting and even doing parts for him because he seemed unable to (even for dates), but he suddenly did it all and more himself today to go and have a drink with friends. Have I been bamboozled into doing it for him?

Which generator is best obviously depends on which kind of images you intend to make. I have been using SDv1.5 and especially SDv2.1 on Mage.Space (MS) with great satisfaction the past months because it allowed me to create all kinds of digital paintings with relatively low effort.
Getting relatively good to sometimes even great results was just easy. Much easier than using Automatic1111. This was great for testing, cultivating my own taste and eventually, style.
Now that MS changed to a new website this isn't possible anymore as I see it. Nowadays, MageSpace seems to be geared towards making anime gals, futuristic robots, and other stuff you see pretty much everywhere (take a look at the Lexica homepage for what I mean).
So I'm wondering if anyone is using another online AI art generator that is comparable to the old MS to create art in, for instance, the styles of artists mentioned in the title or as listed here https://medium.com/higher-neurons/the-ten-most-influential-works-of-ai-art-820c596b8840?
Note, I don't want to copy the styles of these artists but create something new, experiment, see what comes up with weird prompts, by combining things, for these purposes mage.space was a superb tool. I tried Leonardo, Runway, and a bunch of others to no avail (Leonardo comes somewhat close).
There must be likeminded folks out there? Any input will be greatly appreciated.

I am 18(M) and i have known the concept of meditation for 6 months or so . I have also been practicing it but have not been consistent with it . I believe i am still an amateur . Now i do feel meditation is very helpful and has helped me . But now i started reading a book called THE SUBTLE ART OF NOT GIVING A FUCK , because my life is somewhat fucked and i have been giving too many fucks about too many unnecessary things. Now i feel like this book and the guided meditation that i have followed somewhat clash with each other because there is this line - ''Many self-help groups/gurus teach you new forms of denial and pump you up with exercises that feel good in the short term , while ignoring underlying issue '' and i feel like that is true like whenever i am not happy ( which is mostly the case ) , in guide meditation they'll tell u to keep a smile , to believe ur positive and kind and all those things. But on the other hand i also feel like it is important to keep a smile , think positive for positive to happen and all that stuff . NOW i have not read the whole book and probably i am inferring it in a wrong way. So what are your opinions on this ??

I’m physically disabled and cannot get a 5 to 10 gallon home by myself, so it needs to be something I can order online and have delivered. I can only get what can fit in my power wheelchair backpack if I go to a pet store.
The best tank I could get is a 2.5 gallon with a sponge filter, raindrop filtration, digital thermometer, made of glass, and a very heavy lid and immovable guard thing my cat can’t open. Also added a heater to keep it at optimal temperature.
After I got the tank, it’s a lot smaller than it looked in the customer review photos, and I’m kind of stuck with it. All the tanks I looked at online from Amazon, PetsMart, and Petco all had bad reviews with filters too strong for a betta. Or they are made of plastic with flimsy lids.
I don’t have the fish yet but I want it to have a good quality of life. I got water conditioner, water test strips, siphon, wide variety of food.
Any recommendations for larger tanks? I feel bad that the tank is so small.

Hi,
Someone hurt me really bad and I wanted to take revenge so for that I wanted him to feel bad for what he did to me, I wanted him to have a weigh on his conscience for wronging me. I went on and told him how what he did made me feel so hurt and that I was depressed for a long time because of him, that he was a bad person and that he played with me.
He told me that he felt so bad for hurting me etc, he tried to make me feel better and told me that he had not intention to hurt me, he apologized and even asked me what he could do to make it up to me.
And then I thought he was sincere and I felt bad for wanting him to hurt like I did, my heart go softened and I thought about what if being mean to him and wanting something bad for him could be sinful for me because who am I to make justice, Allah knows best. What if I was accusing him wrongfully and thus I was sinning too ? Since I have a bit of anxiety I started feeling bad. So I forgave him and made him feel better, telling him I didn’t wanted the same thing happening to him, that he was a good person deep down.
Now thinking back about this, I feel so stupid for being too kind even towards people who were mean to me and I’m second guessing everything that I said to this person. I sometimes regret forgiving him too quick. But I know I forgave him for Allah, I thought he was sincere and I kinda wanted to let go of the grudge so I could heal.
Do you think It was stupid to forgive him or is it something that a good muslim and a good person should do ? I forgave the person but don’t talk to him anymore (he’s out of my life)

2024 May: Every day I wake up to get on the computer, possibly download a game I won't end up playing but its nice the thought that I have a game waiting for me to play.
If not spent fully in front ont he computer monitor in a blackedout room for most days. I might chance at a morning walk then shower, then eat.
Its been over a decade I've been on meds I was forced on medications after I was voluntary patient in hospital at 17-18 years old. Im now 33.
My life before hospital was filled with movies, music and video games. Enough to keep me somewhat happy, just not that eager to be social. And thats before I knew I had autism (diagnosed at 15) the entertainment was a distraction from all the effed up crap I either experienced or witnessed.
Between 5 and 8 my parents split up, to this day I don't know why. I tried asking both of them but they both had variable different answers that changed. I was left trying to figure it out going back and forth between parents. But not having the social skills or the social knowhow to actually get answers I might need.
We lost the family home when I was 8. After that the neighbourhood friends dropped off. The family friends and their kids that I thought I got along with either left the area or just stopped having much to do with my parents.
Its annoying becasue I got along good with the girls my age. But once we all grew up things got complicated.
At school, I suspect the teachers gave me good marks when I was a troublesome kid. Looking back I was a lot meaner than I thought I was, I was bullied quite a bit and some years heavily, every day was worriesome. Like a cycle, I started off bad, then pulled my head in when my father found out and tried to work good, only that made the bullying worse. Like a cycle, I entered high school with the notion I won't be bullied again, I started acting up and it worked for 2 years. Then eventually I pulled my head in and tried my best regardless of how much people turned on me and abandoned me. Their was points were people were literally fighting over getting the seat next to me, I managed to get the whole class to form a big group for recess and lunch, the girls took a liking to me. But I was too stupid to do anythiing with it.
And once I started to try to work hard, the grades told another story, I wasn't that good. I had my moments, bookwork for science class. Maths above average. and more, if only 'he had applied himself a bit more.'
I still remember the end of high school, during science class (I didn't really get the work but I liked making diagrams and science writings) I had one book me mum got me, well, turns out it was one of those "cheap" "half" books (exercise book) that was half as big as a normal exercise book. Well, I ran out of space and pages very quickly. I was embarassed. I had to borrow a4 paper fromt he teacher just to do my work, i couldn't.
Another thing that was bad around that time was a old kid from my school moved back in town and started creating havok for me (his supposed best friend) and the rest of town. I hanged around with this kid for too long, he came back trying to milk off my "popularity" i "had" since he came back. He didn't realise I wasn't as popular any more. And it was obvious he was using me just like he was using everyone he could.
He got me started on smoking and drinking around 15. Damn near nearly smoked pot but we didn't know how to roll it properly.
I regret falling out with the popular group to make this kid the leader of a new group that was just shit. I fell out with the group because I realised that they weren't inviting me to their parties (Im probably glad though they were mostly males) and some of my better friends were going and going out on BMX's weren't as much a thing anymore.
Anwyays fast forward.
I stopped drinking with this kid, so caled friend of mine. and stopped being his friend. Maybe it was alcohol withdrawal but I felt depressed having no friends I could call and just hang out, no big commitments just woulda been nice some of my old friends could have been there. But they have made friends with beighbourhood bullies, and this kid that I stopped being his friend is in my opinion worse than a bully. He is a fr-enemy, a fake friend. Least a bully you can understand their intentions hwoever coarse or harsh and realise they are the bad one. But this kind of "friend" I have never came across, a fricken enigma of assholery. And by me giving him let, it let others just as bad flock to us and me, and use me for a place to party, drink, smoke whatever. I was there, but I was drinking myself through it in a probably chicken way to deal with it but I tried many times to push this kid away and he'd just manipulate his way back into you life. At the end I just broke down in tears and he said "Well if we're not friends you wont have any friends" then I said "If that means not having any friends like you, so be it"
I took about a year and I stopped working in a trade.
At the end of the year life got chaotic in my family and I felt trapped with my mum, so I tried to take a leap of faith. I went to hospital.
Now there is a lot I can share about life after the first hospital admission. A sorta err to caution for those that feel hospital "might" help. But I will summarize here and leave it up for discussion as I need to go to sleep.
Met my first love, now a girl I used to know.
Tried to work multipe times, and failed.
Went back to school, still didn't finish ha ha
Working through it, working with therapies in place and trying to help myself, with "their" help included.
Its been more than a decade on and off meds, but this time I'm trying to stick with it until I'm good and ready.
Recently I have gotten a case of gout (during last hospital stay, last year) and now I might also have "vertigo" so I can have sudden loss of bodily control if in a car, walking and other uncomfortable scenarios.
I share this hoping to give a peek into the life and trials of someone with autism. and if its wanted I may share my exp with schizo - type disorder as well as more about my hospital stays.
thanks

Most people are very hesitant to interact with someone who is depressed.
This is because of the huge dissonance that wanting to live your life yourself and imagining that you can spend your life not wanting to live creates.
Most neurotypical people would probably say that they can't understand the idea of not wanting to live at all and how it must be the worst kind of way to go through life. Killing yourself because of your own pain must be selfish after all and it doesn't make sense anyway to ever want to die (when you never yourself had depression in the first place, this makes sense).
But I'd argue that it is actually the other way around. By the logic of how it is presented in "the selfish gene" by Richard Dawkins, a modern way to see how life and individuals work, untainted by religion or other delusional ideology, you can see how we're ultimately selfish creatures. There's ultimately no higher purpose then the own need to survive and everything else in our experience is just evolutionary devolped subconscious mechanisms with the purpose to keep us alive.
Human beings are ultimately destructive, even when they actively don't want to be as Peter Singer (https://www.britannica.com/biography/Peter-Singer) showed in his work “Famine, Affluence, and Morality” that not spending all of your resources on making people's lives better, than you're ultimately an evil person. There are people starving and suffering all over the world. We don't help them and this makes us ultimately evil.
We are not a species that is devolped to help each other in this abstract way. To help people that you do not know. But we developed a society in which we COULD do that and since we don't and are preoccupied with our own little life's, we are evil.
The human is ultimately an evil creature. God, didn't want us from the moment that Adam and Eve ate from the tree of knowledge. We are objectively abhorrent and shouldn't exist. Even the bible can be interpreted this way. The original sin was never removed and it doesn't make sense to defend our existence, since we're "not completely evil". What kind of evil what would want evil to persist? A pretty bad one is my answer and that is why we objectively all need to die.
As Mainländer pointed it out in his work "the philosophy of salvation", the universe is slowly dying and death is just our last step in evolution. It's inevitable anyway.
But why does all of this need to be said? Because the human is still delusional, even in modern day. He clings on to hope, even though we had enlightened people who realised the truth and killed themselves as a consequence, but it seems like the human species will have to go through more suffering, poverty and war to understand our inevitable final step of evolution.
This irrational psychological defense of one's own ego and ideals is something that needs to be understood. Philosophically, constructing a certain mental imagery or narrative to disprove the truth of pro-mortalist mentality is called phantasm. We need narratives like a life after death or an I that transcends your mortal body (the idea of an soul) to protect our identities and what we believe to be true. This is obviously a logical fallacy, because if there is nothing after death, why would we care if we're dead anyway? It's not like we cared about not being alive before we were born before, so what would change if we were not alive again?
The depressed person doesn't have this weakness. He has accepted the futility of life and is ready to see the truth for what it is. Depression isn't an mental illness. It's one of the last steps of human evolution. Of course we regress into religion and other ideology again. But that's the thing with the one and only ideology that is true. We will never believe in it, until we have no other choice than to accept the truth. The only truth available: Death is inevitable and on the way to death, there is the inevitablity of suffering, which means that death is ultimately better than being alive since at that point there is no possibility of suffering anymore, for ever.
I don't think that we need to kill everyone. For now it would cause too much suffering, since people still think that it is necessary for them to life. It would be morally better to just wait until we have destroyed ourselves to a point, where even the intellectually impaired feel nothing other than suffering every day and realise the truth.
Mainländer already knew that self-destruction isn't something to be afraid of. The entire universe is already on it's way of dying the heat death. If there is a god, he wants us to know that we shouldn't exist. Maybe this life is a sort of punishment for every single one of us.
Which hell would be the worst kind of hell after all? One in which every single other participant will actively tell you that you aren't in hell and that you should keep going an existence which is dominated by suffering.
Fortunately, the truth will reveal itself for every single one of us in the end.

We have been dating for almost 4 months right now. We have fought for thousands of times. We are too different people and I think we haven't found a proper compromise. For example, my bf wants me to communicate often. He wants me to share my thoughts and emotions often. But I'm not a fan of texting and barely communicate. He has asked me to change my communication style but I couldn't. Also, he thinks honesty is the real key of relationship so he tells about many things that come up to his mind. But he said few times that he wanted to kiss with another woman while drinking at a club without me. I'm quite painful with this kind of honesty. So we fought over this too. There are countless topics that we have fought over for 4 months. Our last fight was on this Thursday and we haven't talked that much since Thursday. We even broke up for 3 times but we always reunited.
I know this relationship is very toxic. This relationship doesn't work at all and it ruins both of us. I believe that we need to end this relationship but it isn't easy. I think I love him very much although we have fought thousands times and still don't want him to leave. I kinda dumped him yesterday telling him that our relationship doesn't work and I want him to be happier. He saw my message but didn't give me a clear answer. How can I accept that this relationship doesn't work and I should let it go? I'm so painful right now.

ive posted here quite a few times mentioning my experiences with men due to my boobs, it’s always been very negative :/ sometimes i get this really really awful feeling, like i’ll never properly be loved because i’m afraid anyone who falls in love with me will be upset with what i look like physically, especially since big boobs are such a common ideal for men. and i have far from that. i don’t want to get implants just to make myself feel better when i know in my heart that i don’t really want them, i just want to feel adequate. the idea that nobody would love me because of my boobs of all things is so delusional and depressing and i know that, i think it would make me feel better to hear abt ur guys personal relationships so that i know there’s at least still hope :( i’ve never had a relationship or even almost relationship with a man where he hasn’t commented negatively on my breasts at least once, and a rly sad part of me is starting to doubt that men that wouldn’t do that exist, and that i’ll never find myself in a relationship where someone i love doesn’t secretly wish that they were bigger. it’s soul crushing every time. i just desperately need to be told that my boobs aren’t everything and that i will find someone who likes them and isn’t pretending to because i’m losing hope. sometimes i feel like being built the way that i am is some kind of curse lol

For context, a friend of mine, lets call her Beth, had a messy breakup with her boyfriend a little less than a year ago. Since most of our friends are closer to her ex, she was kinda shunned from the friend group, but since I get along with her better than him, I'm the only one that has kept inviting her to hang out with us this past year. Last time I invited her to my house she drunkenly made out with one of my friends very early into the night and then both fell asleep. I was sort of bothered by the fact that they went to bed so early and left us alone the rest of the night, but i ignored it and just made fun of them a little the next morning. Today was my 18th birthday, so I invited all of my close friends over to my house; we made pizza and were drinking and having fun. At about eleven Beth and a different friend of mine, lets call him Alan (who is from another friend group), went into my room and we didn't hear from them the rest of the night. We sometimes heard them talking and laughing, and sometimes there were long silences coming from my room, but none of us dared to go there in fear of maybe interrupting something. Since, besides that, some people had to leave, and there's really not that many of us, the people that were left were bored and started going to sleep. I tried to do something and sugested stuff to do so the party wasn't so short, but everyone fell asleep. I was very much awake and was left to clean up, and after, write this at like 5am while everyone else sleeps soundly. The thing is, I was sort of expecting the party to go on for a little longer, and I'm frankly mad at both Beth and Alan for just dissapearing and basically not being at the party all night, especially at Beth; they're both kind of my female and male best friends respectively, but I've been getting out of my way to have her come to our hangouts, and two times already she has dissapeared in the middle of the party and barely interacted with me. I fell like maybe I should talk to them about it after they wake up. Am I wrong for being mad at them for dissapearing halfway through the night? Should I just let them be, be happy that they got along and stop making such a big deal out of my birthday party? Justo to clarify the legal drinking age in our country is 18.

Okay, so I have a daughter and a step daughter who both attend 8th grade in a k-8 Waldorf school. They have been with the same teacher since 5th grade. This teacher is talented and devoted and loving. However she also seems to have trouble with her emotional regulation, and she doesn’t seem to have consistent standards among her students (holding the “good kids” to a much higher standards than the “problem kid.”)
Last week was the “problem kid’s” birthday celebration, and supposedly my girls were making faces during his birthday song. Not at him, but by themselves or maybe to each other. This is obviously not the kindest thing to do, but they’re 14 and this kid has caused issues and made them uncomfortable in the past.
Right after that was recess, but my girls were kept in. The teacher sent the rest of the kids out, brought my girls to a private room, and told them off for making faces. This conversation then somehow spiraled out of control in a way I don’t really understand.
The teacher asked what they had against this boy, they tried to tell her, she claimed ignorance of the situation, it went back and forth. Apparently this boy has apologized for his past actions and the teacher expects the girls to forgive him and move on. The teacher reportedly said that she has a higher expectation of my step daughter than this boy (SD is very high achieving, talented, and well-behaved. She is also very anxious and stressed by the need to be perfect.)
According to both girls, separately, this teacher actually yelled at them. At one point my step daughter was apparently hyperventilating or maybe having some kind of panic attack. My daughter had her arms wrapped tightly around her sister, and was repeatedly asking the teacher to please stop, that they could continue the conversation but that my SD needed a break. (My daughter is more of a rebel than her sister, less of a perfectionist, and more willing to face teacher disappointment). The teacher didn’t stop.
The meeting lasted all though recess (the teacher did not join in her recess supervision duties) and then all through their next lesson (no idea what the other kids were doing without their teacher! Maybe there was another teacher?), and then somewhat into the next lesson. I’m not exactly sure how long that makes it, but it was over an hour.
No other teachers or admin were involved in this incident, it was just this teacher and these kids alone in a room for more than 60 minutes. Afterwards, nobody reached out to the parents about any of this. No emails, no calls, nothing. We pulled the info out of the girls. My daughter is more or less okay (which doesn’t make the incident okay, but does make me less worried). However my step daughter is a mess.
My main questions are: How is an hour of yelling an appropriate response to teens making faces? How was it appropriate for a teacher to have these kids alone in a room for so long, in a heated discussion? Why did nobody else at the school notice them gone? What are the proposals for a situation like this? Why in the world were none of the parents notified?
So, please tell me your honest reaction to all of this. Was this teacher’s response way overblown or am I the one overreacting? My step daughter’s mother doesn’t want to even send her back for the rest of the year (12 days). Also, how could this be fixed???
Thank you.

Basically, I wasn't home when my parcel arrived. It arrived at around 2pm, but I was not in SG, so when I came home it was already 1am the next day. And I did not see my parcel outside my door, it was totally empty. I have also walked around that Storey to check but still, I could not find my parcel. It costs me more than $100, and I was extremely frustrated when I came to the conclusion that someone stole my parcel. I was anxious and I communicated with the delivery company at 1+am to ask for help. They kindly checked for me and confirmed that they had delivered the parcel and leave it beside my door with a picture taken. So, it was clear to me that someone probably leaving in this HDB has stolen my parcel. There is also another possibility that some random cleaners thought that it was garbage and threw it away. I personally went down to the trash site to check; I just couldn't be able to see trails of my parcel. Why would anyone touch someone else's thing??? Would humans nowadays just mind their own business and stop interfering with others' lives?? To the person who stole my parcel, do you have any sense of shame???? If really was the cleaner or anyone that treat it as garbage and threw it away, mind your business, okay? Don't act like a saint and think throwing away others' "garbage" is an act of kindness and thoughtfulness. Would y'all have some faith in us, humans, that we are able to manage our own garbage and you do not need to lend a hand to interfere. You are just making everything worst by doing things the way you think it should be. And I would really file a police report if I don't receive my parcel soon