Bye bags

More misery bird? More misery bird. Really miserymaxxing with these fics I have going, but hey, this one is not that miserable actually! Krekos is back and ready to be dense and downcast, but maybe not quite miserable? Read and see!
Big thank you to NoP community for being great and supportive of my endeavors!
Also, obviously, big thanks to SpacePaladin15 for creating this universe and allowing fanfiction well to flow free!
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Memory transcription subject: Krekos, Krakotl Refugee
Date [standardized human time]: May 6th, 2137
I stare at the foul creature before me. Normally staring at something directly head on like that would be too predatory for me to do, but after nearly dying of bread yesterday, I didn’t feel patient enough to be gentle. The creature stared right back, though in a much more natural, prey-like way, tilting its head slightly as it looked back at me with one eye and let out a long bwok.
“Are you doing this now? Really?”, I ask, knowing full well it cannot respond.
Well, it can, if another bwok it made is any indication. Of course, translators aren’t yet advanced enough to translate non-sapient speech, but the intention behind sound is intuitively clear. It’s telling me to back off. Well, I tried the diplomatic approach at least.
Raising my wing I begin sliding the bird out of its nest, careful to keep any delicate joints out of its reach. It started clucking in upset indignation, struggling back and even trying to peck at me, but after realizing that I will not relent, it hopped out of the box and rushed out of the cattle house, revealing a single dead egg in the nesting box.
With relief, I finally pick up the last egg and head back to leave them at the house. Turns out that while Reginald didn’t forget to both lock them up yesterday and let them out today, he did neglect feeding them both times, as well as collecting the harvest. So when I was driven back here in early morning, the first thing I did was making sure they were taken care of. I can’t say the horrid birds looked in any way hungry, but the moment I poured the feeding grain for them, they attacked it with more viciousness than I’d expect of an actual predator. And yet only thirteen were present at the feeding, as the one that’s usually the target of flock’s ire remained in the cattle house yet again, Reginald leaving it to it, being unaware of its undesirable habit of trying to hatch dead eggs.
With eggs delivered, I flew my way to my usual spot atop the cattle house and could finally relax. The loner beast first made its way to feast on the scraps of the grain that other birds already all have had their fill of, so I wasn’t too concerned. Instead I tried to reflect on the morning I had so far.
Waking up at the hospital did make me momentarily panic before I remembered the precluding events. Not that I could properly panic, feeling the most starved I’ve been my whole life, and too weak to try flying out of the window. Thankfully, the breakfast they provided was actually well made with krakotl needs in mind, algae soup alongside a few slices of bread, this time without any horrid human ideas like putting eggs in there. Eggs! Turns out they put eggs in some kinds of bread! That’s how I got sick! Eggs! The thought of what I consumed even now made me queasy, and it definitely made breakfast a much less appetizing affair than it would have been without that knowledge, but back then the hunger won over the disgust.
Lena did keep her promise and came to pick me up extra early. Her being a staff member at the hospital gave her some extra privilege, I assume, hence why I was released without any forms needing to be filled out personally. She did have important business today too, which probably explained the earlyness and urgency of her driving me back to her house.
That did not mean I escaped her ire, however. While I couldn’t pinpoint anything to identify the man, as Bob was apparently a common name, that offered me bread, we did come to understanding that he was likely either unaware of the nutritional contents of it, or of extent to which the Cure-induced allergy would be affecting a krakotl. Yet, Lena seemed much angrier at me for failing to take any precautions. Turns out that was the purpose of medicinal injectors, epipens as humans call them, that were provided to me. I was supposed to have them on me in case I accidentally ingested contaminated food. Nobody told me that, I was just handed them back when I first received the necessities at the refugee camp and I had no clue what they were for. Then she also berated me for eating random food from strangers and ignoring bad flavors. Turns out that brioche bread isn’t actually bitter at all, and that was my body reacting to an allergen in it. Reaction that I unwisely elected to ignore, to further ire of my host. By the end, several new rules of my stay here were made, including not eating things I don’t know and always having at least one epipen on me. Thankfully, these rules would be ones I’d start following even without them being established, so I won’t have to concern myself with being kicked out over accidentally breaking them.
As if following the rules will be enough to make them like you.
Trying to distract myself from thoughts of yesterday’s incident, I focused my attention on the flock. All birds accounted for, so at least I knew that my absence did not result in the predator coming to snatch one of them. I do not wish to insult my hosts, but Reginald is far from most attentive people in matters unrelated to his job, and I am not sure the birds were watched at all while I was out. Speaking of, my scannings of surrounding treelines revealed no sign of the predator today. Perhaps it departed to hunt elsewhere, or maybe it ventured too close to a more populated area and exterminators dealt with it.
Actually, did human exterminators work similar to Federation ones? I knew for a fact they had them, although they seemed like a market of private organizations if advertisements are anything to judge by. Still, what methods do they use? I know humans oppose fire, and do not believe in predatory taint, but surely they have measures to protect themselves? They are, by self-admission, far from the best natural predator, and I doubt Earth’s non-sapient predators would just leave humans be. Maybe I should call one of those human exterminator agencies and call them in to deal with that predator? I haven’t told Lena or Reginald about it, as I didn’t want to bother them, but it could pose a serious threat to the cattle, but maybe that’s the way I could resolve it without involving them?
I have not done nearly as much research into human culture and lifestyle as I should have, considering that I’ve lived on Earth for over half a year now, but the sheer width of the topic always overwhelmed me the moment I opened internet search app to the point where I just closed it right away.
And you expect to start studying again with that attitude? You’ll flunk out even from this primitive predator education course.
Extra loud call from the flock made me refocus my attention on them, but it was nothing. Just the loner getting pecked extra hard and lashing out against assailants, causing a small aimless stampede as all the birds ran around in circles, puffing up at one another. The assailants now looked a lot more like victims. I could understand those birds more than I could humans at least. The loner bird is clearly an odd one out. It’s the only one repeatedly trying to hatch unfertilized eggs it lays, and it seems to always avoid the rest of the flock. Humans may deny the existence of Predator Disease, but they can’t deny that prey and predator both can and will sometimes behave in unnatural ways that may threaten the herd's safety. Or pack’s, in case of humans. Birds must know on instinctual level that the loner’s behavior is unnatural and are attempting to combat the Predator Disease on instinctual level. And since that is natural, I still will not interfere in this, unless the loner bird actually becomes a threat to others or will start getting too injured. The first time I attempted to pick one of the birds up was the only time for a good reason, as I have learned their viciousness all too well.
DING-DING
The sudden loud ring startled me enough that I nearly tumbled off the roof. Who would be coming over now? Lena and Reginald have left together and shouldn’t be back until afternoon, and they’d never use the bell. That means someone must be here for them. But wouldn’t they warn anyone to not come over? Especially with their plans for today.
With nobody to answer these questions, I had no choice but to go and discover the answer myself, flying up and over the house, towards the entrance gate. The moment I passed the house roof, I already saw a familiar silhouette. It was the human child from a few days ago.
Thankfully, Lena’s insistence on me carrying an epipen at all times meant I also carried my satchel at all times too, so I didn’t have to go grabbing my holopad, and took it out. But before I could even launch the translator TTS app to type out a greeting, the child was already hopping in place with excitement.
“Mr. Krekos! Hi! I came over to visit!”, she exclaimed, showing off her teeth in an unnerving expression of human joy. I simply tried to avoid that and focused on the pad, typing out my response.
“Hello, Rosie. Why are you here?”
The question was genuine, as the child was not carrying any more of that honey substance from last time.
“I just came over to visit you! Is that okay? Are Mr. and Ms. Vince okay with it?”
Visit... me? Why? While I was confused, I did instinctively type out a reply.
“They did tell me visitors are allowed as long as there’s no trouble when I first moved in.”
And before I could type a followup message asking her why she’s here, she already let out a joyous roar and ran past me.
“Can I see the chickens?”, she asked, and not waiting for an answer, rushed past the house and towards the cattle yard.
“Wait! You’ll scare them!”, I yell after her, but of course without a translator she can’t understand me as she runs like she already knows where to go.
And indeed she has, quickly rushing up to the open field where the birds were grazing. Thankfully she didn’t start chasing them, instead just approaching the flock from a distance and swaying in place, watching them with what I assume was some sort of predatory excitement at the sight of prey. Maybe that’s where the contained hunting instinct of human children showed themselves? In chasing small birds? I was still more subdued, considering she stopped shy of causing a small stampede, but still.
“Grandpa used to take me with him! He helped watch this farm until Mr. and Ms. Vince moved in. I like chickens! I think they’re cute.”, the child told me innocently as she kept swaying and watching as the beasts grazed upon insects of the pasture.
That revelation was... interesting. I suppose it makes sense that between the original owner of this land dying in the bombings and Lena and Reginald moving in, it would be unattended. With nobody to feed and watch over those things, they would be long dead for sure. And it was Rosie’s grandfather... Speaking of. I typed out my words.
“Does your grandfather know you’re here?”
She seemed to get a weird look as she stopped her excited swaying, fiddling with her hands instead. Looks like I asked the correct question.
“...he knows I am out visiting neighbors.”
That did not answer my question. I squinted at the human child, and she dipped her head as she continued.
“...he doesn’t know I’m here specifically. Or that an alien even lives here...”, she explained, her tone suddenly more sullen.
I couldn’t help but squint at that, and it appears that my expression was readable enough that even a human could see the suspicion, as she continued.
“I’m sorry... But if I told grandpa, he’d tell me I’m forbidden from talking to you, like he forbade me from talking to hedgehog people in town... But I want to talk to you! You’re nice and you’re a space bird!”
The child was actually working around the rules established by her guardian to come see me. I don’t know if I should be glad or concerned. Clearly, the man is anti-alien in his opinions, and I’d rather that kind of man not know about how close he lives to one. At the same time, I’d rather not encourage a child for lying to their guardian in order to meet a stranger they know they aren’t allowed to interact with... So I just took the middle path with my next message.
“I see. What did you want to talk to me about then?”, TTS speaks for me.
Her stiffened body language disappears, replaced again with earlier excitement.
“I wanna know more about space! And aliens! It’s all so cool but grandpa says it’s all dangerous because mom and dad died. But it’s not! The hedgehog people were nice, and you’re nice too!”
I wasn’t sure about that logic, but my self-preservation told me I shouldn’t try convincing her to go confessing. Instead I focused more on her chosen topic.
“I am not sure I am the best person to ask about space. I am not a scientist or traveler.”
“But you’re from there! You know way more than me. I don’t even know what you are called. And there’s gotta be cool things out in space!”
I let out a sigh. I suppose it’s childlike curiosity at its finest. So unfamiliar with mundane that it is a wonder. I remember being like that about becoming a doctor.
And then you let your teacher die.
I quickly tapped on the pad.
“Okay, I can answer questions, but I may not know everything.”
The noise that came out of the girl was like a squeal of a panicked dossur as she started hopping and spinning in place.
“Yes! Yes! Thank you, Mr. Krekos!” Sudden movement did cause me to recoil a bit, which in turn caused her to cease her happy flailing and adjust her little dress. “I dunno where to start though... Hm... What are you?”
...for all my trepidation about not knowing answers, I should have anticipated that the questions she asks will be rather age-appropriate and on the same level as we learn in our first school classes. At least I won’t disappoint her then.
“I am from a species called ‘krakotl’. We’re avians, as is obvious. Our home is...” dead, gone, reduced to glass and ash by our own hubris “...was Nishtal. A beautiful planet...”
Thankfully she did not question my hesitant pause. Instead she just nodded along.
“What about the hedgehog people? I already know venlil, but they’re the only ones I know name of.”
Hedgehog people in town she mentioned earlier. The only species I could think of that could be seen there would be the gojid. I have no clue what hedgehogs are, but probably some creature with visible similarity to them.
“They are called ‘gojid’, and they’re from gojid Cradle. Both of our species are... well, used to be known for our might and protecting other species of Federation.”
I am not sure if that’s something to brag about, considering... everything. But I didn’t want this child to get brought down with depressing regrets of our species. Let her know something nicer instead. She clearly lost a lot, but there’s still joy left in her. I wouldn’t want to be the one to ruin that.
“Cool! What about other people? I wanna know more!”
And so I went on, telling her about various species, although I mostly focused on ones in this new human-led union, only mentioning kolshians and farsul beyond that. It’s weird explaining to a child what a tilfish or a harchen looks like, but thankfully my holopad isn’t just a method of communicating with implant-less children. With access to interstellar web, I could easily pull up pictures of various alien species to show to her, even if she struggled to believe that some of them were even sapient purely based off of looks. With how varied species in Federation are, and how some of us admittedly aren’t too far physiologically from our more primal ancestors.
Among other topics, she asked me to tell her interesting things, which I didn’t know much of. I told her about Venlil Prime’s tidally locked status, a rarity among habitable planets, much less homeworlds for species. I told her about the unique architecture of Mileau, designed to accommodate both species of regular size and dossur themselves. I told her about Colia medical academies, some of the most beautiful medical facilities in the galaxy.
I wish I was more well-travelled, but I just wasn’t. My whole life, I never left Nishtal until the extermination fleet took me despite my protests. That may have been what saved my life...
Not that I, of all people, deserved it...
“Hey! Stop that!”
I flinched as I heard the child yell, but quickly realized that it wasn’t directed at me. Instead, Rosie was rushing down towards the chicken flock, breaking up the fight in which the loner was being pecked by a few larger chickens. As the human child approached, the birds stopped their infighting and scattered in different directions, crowing in loud panic and discontent. On instinct, I found myself rushing towards the child, forgetting about translation entirely.
“What are you doing?! Don’t touch them!”
I didn’t want her to hurt the cattle accidentally, and I didn’t want her to get hurt by the angry birds in return. But, it seems like the moment the birds scattered, she was satisfied with her actions and turned back to me, wearing another one of her happy smiles.
“Sorry, Mr. Krekos, I just saw chickens being mean. Bad chickens.” She explained.
I was baffled. Why would she interfere like that? When I tried that back when I was just starting, that got me pecked! But with her, the birds just scattered. What if they pecked her?
I took the pad out again and started typing quickly.
“That was dangerous. Why did you do that? What if they attacked you? Why are you even interfering in their natural dynamics?”, questions flowed out of my pad with an artificial human voice.
The girl simply giggled.
“They’re chickens! They aren’t dangerous. They don’t peck that painful and I’ve been scratched worse before. And I have to stop it because bullying is wrong.”
Then she actually noticed that the one that was being attacked wandered close. She casually approached it from behind, the blind spot and just reached down and grabbed it, picking the bird up. I was ready to rush to help the bird when...
“Mwah! There, all better.”
She did a human ‘kiss’ on the back of the cattle bird’s neck before releasing it, the surprise of it causing it to rush off. I knew what kisses were, I’ve seen enough of them between Lena and Reginald, but I believed they were gestures of intimate affection, not... what was even that?
It seems Rosie noticed my confusion as she explained.
“You gotta kiss it so it heals better! That’s what mom taught me.” The child displayed that smile of hers shamelessly. With how much I was being exposed to it, it almost wasn’t unnerving anymore. Still, it was interesting to learn that kisses are seen as something that helps wounds. I guess some species do have saliva with mild antiseptic properties, wouldn’t be too out there to assume humans are the same. And if that’s the case, maybe that’s how the kissing tradition started? Exchange of protective fluid between lovers?
“I see. I did not know that.” I responded before letting my puffed feathers relax. Okay, this whole ‘watching a human child’ thing is turning out to somehow be even more stressful than I expected at first.
“Wait, Mr. Krekos, what time is it?” She suddenly asked, looking up at the sky.
“It’s nearly twelve.” I respond, holopad having a convenient clock for local time.
“Oh no! I need to be home soon! Was nice seeing you Mr. Krekos gotta go bye!”
Before I had even a chance at typing out an answer or my own goodbye, the child sprinted away and back towards the entrance. I had to take flight just to keep up, and even then she just turned around, waved her arm at me and then kept sprinting down the road after leaving the gate. I simply offered a small wave of a wing back before locking the gate again. I suppose it is hard to keep track of time without a device or clock nearby...
Well, at least I had the usual peace and quiet now. And learned a bit more about the creatures I was in charge of. I should really try to deal with my aversion to looking things up on the human internet...
Just as I was about to head back out towards the yard, I heard a loud car horn, a familiar one, getting my attention. Lena’s car. There they were, signaling me, probably having spotted me at the gate from afar. Deciding to make use of my presence here, and hoping to avoid needing to explain that I had a surprise visitor earlier, I went ahead and opened the large gate, allowing the car to enter.
Once it was parked in the usual space, the doors opened and three people came out. Lena and Reginald were both looking a bit disheveled, but their faces carried these smiles that seemed wider than ever before. And third person... Was a stranger. A human I knew of, but never actually met. As he exited the car, a large bag in one hand, he just stared at me, standing in the front yard...
“...okay, I expected many things when I was told you guys housed a refugee, but not this.”
Oh no. Oh no, he was not one of the ones that was willing to overlook an invader that partook in bombing of his planet being allowed to walk free, of course, Lena and Reginald were the weird ones like that, doesn’t mean their son won’t be... I felt the panic rising as I realized I’d need to return to the camp. Why was I upset about that? This was supposed to just have been a way to make money, but now I have a free education program. Do I need to stay? No, but... Why?! Why do I not want to leave?
“Ken, you said it’s going to be alright no matter what it is, right? Wanted us to keep it a surprise to meet a new friend?” Lena’s voice. She should have told him, that’d give me time to prepare why didn’t they give me time why.
“No, no problems, just, really surprised, that’s all... uh... hey, buddy, you okay? You’re really... trembly.”
He was approaching me, and instinct took over as I recoiled, before stuttering out my answer.
“I-I’m fine...”
...thankfully translators don’t translate voice cracks. I hope, at least...
“Hey, relax... I have no problem with you being a krakotl, I just didn’t think...” He looks over at Lena and Reginald. “Calm down... I can wear my visor if you want?”
Right. Those things humans use to hide their scary faces from us.
“I... I’m good...”
Why would it last? It almost felt good after all.
There was some emotion I struggled to read on the young human’s face, as he sighed and shook his head.
“I screwed this up, I’m sorry. Let... Let me try again.” He straightened out, and adjusted his clothing, before slowly approaching me and giving me a small smile, no teeth showing. “Hello. My name is Kenneth Vince and I'm son of Lena and Reginald Vince. I was told you’re a refugee they took in to help out. It’s nice to meet you. What’s your name?”
That... snapped me out of it. Right... He was... not upset at my existence. He was just very surprised that Lena and Reginald weren’t. That’s a reasonable thing to be surprised about, considering I was surprised about it to this day. I tried to compose myself as I responded.
“My name is Krekos. I live here as... hired help with the cattle. It’s... nice to meet you?”
The smile on Kenneth’s face widens, though he still refrains from showing his teeth. Instead, he extends a hand towards me. A handshake is a human gesture that I found far from comfortable, but I didn’t want to give him a reason to change his mind on acceptability of my existence, so I took it with a wingclaw. He gently took it and held for a few seconds before letting go and sighing again, turning to his parents.
“You know, I always thought you guys would be empty nesters, but I never thought it’d be that literal.”
That got all three of them laughing, as I just tilted my head in confusion. I was fairly sure there were no empty nests in the house until after I adjusted the attic room for my own accommodations. Still, I took the laughter as a sign that the tense moment had fully passed and let my ruffled feathers slowly rest.
“Let’s head inside. Krekos, we’re having dinner, you’re welcome to join us.” Reginald said, picking up Kenneth’s bag. I tilted my head a little and he followed up with elaboration. “We will be having meat... But there’s still going to be stuff you can eat too. It’s a celebration, so I prepared a bit of everything.”
“Dad, you shouldn’t have!” Kenneth responded with embarrassment.
“None of that! Our son returned from the war, alive and a hero, and we can have a celebration. Krekos, I know you’re still... uncertain about meat so you don’t—”
“I’ll join.”
Wait, who said that? And why did they say that in my voice?
Wait, that was me. Why did I say that?
“That’s great to hear! I’ve got some nice steamed broccoli and some vegetarian fried rice as sides that you’ll enjoy!” Reginald smiled at me and I felt myself shrinking into my feathers. That the humans didn’t notice at least, proceeding into the house instead.
Well, looks like I signed my warrant. At least my bag and my epipen were on me in case something at the table triggers the allergy again. Would be rather unfortunate to have it happen two days in a row.
And that’s how, in just ten or so minutes, I found myself sitting at the dining perch, while humans took seats in chairs, all consuming chunks of roasted flesh and somehow managing to also stuff pieces of equally roasted plants in, and converse with one another. You wouldn’t be able to tell on first look, but despite their mouths being relatively small, especially for a predator, it seems they compensate for it by having those be near bottomless in both hunger and small talk.
I am not sure how I managed to shift my focus away from them consuming animal matter in front of me, however vat grown it might have been, and onto their conversation instead, but I succeeded. I suppose that was just part of me going native around predators. Soon, I’ll be the one feasting along with them before I know it, and snacking on those epipens to not die of it.
Like you could ever be on the same level as humans.
“So, Fahl? That’s where you were sent after the Battle of Earth?” Lena asked.
“Yeah. From what I heard, we got a light posting compared to guys at Sillis or Mileau. The most I had to deal with was some exterminator insurgents.”
That’s right. Since harchen participated in the Extermination Fleet, they were one of those who were occupied by humans during the war. It makes sense that there was at least some ground resistance.
“Honestly, the worst thing out there was the heat. Not the flamethrower kind, the climate. The place was so damn dry and hot. At least exterminators you could subdue or evade. Not so much with the scorching sun!”
I couldn’t resist a small chuckle at the idea of a predator being more afraid of hot weather than flamethrowers as I slowly pecked at the vegetables on my plate. Thankfully it was set far enough aside from any meat dishes that no contamination should occur, but I was still examining pieces before putting them in my mouth just in case.
Seems like reacting was a mistake though, as that brought Kenneth’s attention onto me. He finished chewing latest piece of flesh and pointed a fork at me.
“So, Krekos... Where are you from? Cradle was my guess, but I do know there were refugees from other places like Sillis too.”
That’s a weird question. Isn’t it kind of to be expected for a krakotl to be from our actual homeworld?”
“I’m from Nishtal.”
“No, no, that’s not what I meant,” Kenneth chuckled, tossing a piece of broccoli into his mouth and swallowing before continuing, “I meant, where did you live? I kind of assumed you were born there, but it’s not like Nishtal had a chance to send refugees out, and if they did, this is the last place they’d be.”
Oh... I caught concerned looks of Lena and Reginald, looking between me and Kenneth from both sides. Not only did they not make him aware that I was a krakotl, they also neglected to mention just how I came by my refugee status... Which was just a legal workaround to grant me asylum without unnecessary complications or establishing undesirable precedent. Legally, I may be a refugee, but practically... I am a defector. Lena and Reginald know that, I told them my story before. And while they were weirdly accepting, Kenneth... Fought extermination fleet here on Earth. Personally.
Still, I wasn’t about to lie. It took a few moments and gathering mental strength to steel myself, and averting my eyes, focusing on the plate of warm vegetables in front of me rather than the human’s anticipating stare before I answered.
“I did live on Nishtal. I... I came with the extermination fleet.” I responded, doing my best to avoid looking at him. I did not want to witness his reaction, for some reason the thought of seeing it weighed heavy on my mind.
“Oh.”
The response was simple, and had no followup. There was no more clinking of cutlery against plates, or chewing. The only thing hanging in the air of the kitchen was silence, weighing down on me. It dragged on and on... until it just got so unbearable I couldn’t take it.
“I-I’m full... Thank you for the meal.” I quickly said, hopping off the perch and stepping out of the kitchen, quickly making my way to the yard and taking flight.
Fresh air of the outside and rush of it as I flew up and gained speed... I missed that. I knew it’s not safe to just fly over other people’s territory, so I corrected my course into doing large sweeping circles over the cattle yard and simply let my wings carry me.
Flying away from any danger is the only thing I’m good for anyway. The only thing I ever do.
I closed my eyes. With them closed and not focusing on my angle it feels like I’m actually flying away from all the troubles. Away from humans who barely tolerate my existence, away from gojid who see me as worse than a predator, away from Earth and all its incorrigible customs, away from horrid cattle, away from constant memories...
Flying feels nice. It may be a bit harder than it was home, but it’s still possible. I heard that on Venlil Prime or Mileau it’s much harder. But here? Just an extra flap of wings for every few paces and you’re just fine, free to soar the skies...
Alone. With no one to ever share it with me again.
Slowly I let my eyes open back to the bleak reality. Greenery of surrounding pastures and woods, bright blue skies and farmhouses dotted about here and there greeted me. I lowered my gaze down, focusing on what’s below. There they were, fourteen brown and black dots spread around the enclosed portion of the farm territory. I am not sure how much time I’ve spent flying in circles and trying to forget things but my wings were feeling a tad sore. Then as I just began slow descent, in same circular motion, I noticed that one of the birds, a familiar one, was being chased by several others. Recounting the morning, I tried putting the knowledge to action, and shifted direction of descent, swooping down. To my surprise, that actually worked, as the moment I got close to the ground, the cattle birds all got much louder and scattered in all directions, including the loner. Who, at least this time, got off unharmed. I suppose such pathetic flightless creatures would fear a flying one much more than they would when I just run up to them...
Swooping at them from the sky like a predator to intimidate them into behaving... Like an arxur warden.
With the fight preemptively broken up, I flutter up to the roof of the cattle house, to my usual position and rested my wings. I didn’t see any movement from the direction of the house, so I suppose the family is still busy unpacking. Since Kenneth joined the military just before the Battle of Earth, and Lena and Reginald only moved here after their actual house in city of New York got destroyed, it’d be the first time the human is seeing what is basically his new home. There was a room set aside for him since before I even moved in, and while there is also a guest room... That one did not have a large enough window to fit through, which did not feel comfortable. So when I asked for a space with a bigger window they only had an attic to offer. They seemed uncomfortable letting me live in a tiny room with slanted roof, but I found such space more comforting than I would have a large room with a window not large enough to fit even one fully spread wing through.
I wonder if Kenneth will need as much renovation as I did? The house is built for humans, but he never lived there before. Will he need to buy a more comfortable bed? Getting a proper nesting setup in place of a bed took a bit of effort, but I figured something out. Human sheets were comfortable enough for such, and sitting perches were thankfully not that hard to get thanks to help from the refugee administration. Maybe that’s the things that Lena went to buy yesterday? Kenneth’s preferred room decor?
I looked up to the sky to see the sun beginning to dim. I am not sure if it was me flying that long, or me losing track of time in my thoughts again, but the sun was beginning to set. I began my usual chores, putting out an evening meal and water for the beasts, and while they feasted, ate some myself. I was a bit hungry, having not properly finished lunch and about to skip dinner, but after the earlier conversation, I’d really rather avoid giving them the opportunity to talk to me.
After the birds had their fill, and by that I mean they emptied the tray as they always do, I let out the call, and they started funneling into the cattle house. The lonely straggler being first to go and hop into its nesting box. I bet tomorrow I will have trouble with getting her out of there again...
I took the moment to gather some eggs the birds left over course of the day, and once that was over and all of them were accounted for, I closed it up. When I flew down over to the house, there wasn’t anyone by the back door thankfully, so I just left eggs there, returned the basket, and returned to my room through the window.
Well, at least I didn’t get nearly killed today... That’s nice I guess?
I was about to check my holopad when there was a knock on the door. I approached and opened it to see... Kenneth. Standing in the doorway.
“Uh, hi, Krekos. I just, uh... Wanted to apologize again. I really wish mom and dad told me everything ahead of time... I just want you to know, I have no problems with you whatsoever, yeah? It’s just. Surprising, I guess, to hear all that. I didn’t think there were any defectors from the fleet at all... Just. Uh, please don’t worry about me?” He offered me a small smile, showing his canines before quickly correcting himself and doing a closed-lip one. “I didn’t mean to bring up bad memories or make you feel unwelcome.”
I had to take a moment to contemplate his words. Was Lena and Reginald’s weirdness hereditary? He almost reminded me of how Reginald talked to me early on, with constant stumbling over the words, as well as constant reassurances that he is fine with me being here. Couple that with failing to avoid predatory mannerisms like eye contact and smiles like Lena tends to and you get this human. But most importantly and least understandably, there was the general fact of him and them just... welcoming me. I couldn’t understand why. I should be one sorry to them.
“N-No, it’s fine... I’m sorry for... intruding on you and your family.”
“No, no, dude, you’re fine! I mean, hell, I was considering entering one of those exchange programs before the bombings happened, and even after, well, I did my best at Fahl to be the perfect friendly soldier just there to make sure no more bombs drop on my home and not kill or conquer anyone. And then mom told me your story, and I can’t believe it... Just... If you have any issues, feel free to tell me. I’m not one of those racist pricks that are too pussy to even call themselves HF anymore because they know they’ll get their teeth knocked. I get that there aren't good or bad species, just people. And you seem like a decent guy if mom and dad’s judgment is to be trusted.” His smile widened, though it was clear from tension on his face that he had to take conscious effort to keep teeth hidden. “So, what I said earlier stands. Friends, right?”
He extends hand forward, for a second time today. I wasn’t sure if I knew this human long enough to call him a friend... Any human really. But it also seems like human definition of ‘friends’ is anyone they’re cordial and peaceful with. Which is weird. You’d think translators would properly use ‘acquaintance’ for that.
Still... We will be living in the same house now. I can’t just say no, and... I can’t come up with a reason to say no. Even him being a predator and a human is not something I could really say I object to, considering how... mundane that became to me over my time here.
So, with naught on my mind but acceptance of the situation, I extended my wing and grasped his hand with my claw. This time he actually gripped it tightly and moved it up and down, as I saw other humans do occasionally.
“Yeah... I guess that’d be for the best.” I responded, shrugging off the hesitation. Fresh start for a third time, I guess?
The human grinned, forgetting to hide his teeth entirely, but I was ready for it somehow and avoided outwardly reacting.
“Cool! Anyway, I’ll try to get some shuteye early, I couldn’t sleep on the overnight flight home. See ya!”
And with that he left. Well... That meeting went well I suppose?
I returned to my nest and picked up my holopad, returning to what I was doing. And there it was, something I awaited every day. A notification that I was messaged on mailing app. Opening the letter revealed the schedule for the study program. Which... only had one day marked on it. And a note that the rest of it will be figured out ‘as we go from there’. So it’s not a schedule, it’s just a mark for the day of the first meeting.
While a bit underwhelming, it was still exciting. It would be an all-alien class so I wouldn’t have to deal with humans’ incomprehensibility nearly as much, and it would allow me to finally return to pursuing what I actually dreamt of. Even if I wasn’t entirely sure that was precisely what I wanted after everything that happened, it was at least something for me to move towards.
...just two days until start. I wonder if there’s some required reading to prepare?
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Okay so I'm mainly asking this because it's something I've always struggled with and I'm just wondering if there's a way to sort of learn how to read it better? Okay so I'll start off by saying that I'm obviously well aware that everyone is different, there is no one size fits all sort of thing because certain people are more shy than others, maybe they're having a bad which impacts how they act etc etc.
But I noticed a few different types I guess of "body language" when I was out earlier and even though I don't really care much about each individual case, it did sort of get me thinking how can I read into people's body language to understand them better?
First scenario: Head down staring at the footpath when we walked past each other, how would you typically interpret that? Shyness? Anxiety? Something else?
Second scenario: Where I live you can't just walk into a shop and buy a pack of cigs, you have to go somewhere with a dedicated machine (or a tobocco shop) so I went into a local cafe to buy a pack and there was a woman working behind the counter, I'd imagine she was probably like 5-10 years older than me (I'm mid 20's) and she walked past me 2/3 times while I was waiting in line and she was bringing out people's orders, she'd briefly look at me and then look away almost immediately when I looked back. If you were in my shoes, how would you interpret that?
Third scenario: I was in a shop buying some stuff for the weekend, the cashier seemed quite shy, she seemed reluctant to make eye contact when she was telling me the total cost, asking if I wanted a bag etc she was sort of looking down at the counter instead. I'm trying to get better at this eye contact stuff so I sort of kept looking at her while I was paying and answeing her questions, she briefly raised her head and then immediately looked down again. She said bye when I was done and still wouldn't make eye contact. Is that just down to shyness? She was probably similar age to me, maybe a few years older for reference.
As I said already, I know everyone is different but because I'm genuinely curious about this sort of stuff I'm trying to use real life examples that I notice as an example to understand things better.

TL;DR I injured my back because of ridiculous uniform rules and 0 health and safety, I was lured into a meeting under false pretences and lied about, then fired.
on a 2 month contract, working the post room for some awful private school that charges £50k a year when most of the school budget seems to be spent on marble topped desks and shoddy artwork
I thought I'd be walking around with a trolley delivering letters but my job was actually ferrying 20kg+ worth of parcels from one end of the school to the other, dragging them along the floor in a bag. I would then organise them, catalog them and contact anybody who had a package, so lots of lifting and carrying. Any other department would be allowed to request the estates team to carry packages, who would wear appropriate, comfortable, unrestrictive clothing and use a trolley to transport them. Me, it was slim fitting suits and shoes only.
A week later I changed to my normal clothes, this was very much not allowed so I changed back to shirt and trousers, just not so slim-fitting. Nobody said anything against it, my manager in fact commended me for dressing appropriately. I started to notice teachers, other admin staff, anybody really, wearing trainers, these were all people that faced students far more than me, they also dealt with the principal, parents of students whereas I didn't really, I spent most of my time in a room at the back of the school, a dusty little hovel that had lift-up windows that were sealed shut. One rule for me, one rule for everybody else.
There was a large, plastic box that held exams, it was wider than me, heavy alone but would be much heavier depending on how much is in there, and would have to be placed on top of a cabinet that was nearly a foot taller than me. I was hurting my shoulders constantly doing this, and I was not provided with a step ladder to level out the height, in fact it was such a small space the myriad of amazon boxes that were delivered were often in front of that cabinet, making it more difficult.
I put the box in an area on the floor, my heel caught it and the force went straight up my back, and I now have muscle damage in my lower back. I went home early and had a total of 1.5 days off. I was interrogated over the phone, and the day I went in my manager immediately tried to paint it as my error, i disagreed.
Lunch time came, I was lured into an office for a 'back to work meeting' where HR was on Teams, and I was told my work ethic was poor(nobody said anything previously, I was consistently told I was doing a good job), my personal presentation was poor (by the same woman who thanked me for dressing appropriately) and that I had lied on the phone about hospital opening times (how could she know? she didnt even know the name of my hospital, I had to repeat it to her 3 times on the phone, so there is no way she could have told me the operating hours)
I was offered no representation, no time to prepare, I was lied to about the reason for the meeting. And worst of all watching her face smirk when she felt she had caught me in a lie made my feel physically sick (she didn't btw, she lied about me calling her at a certain time, I have screenshots proving there was never even a phonecall at the time she stated, I had been calling starting 90 minutes before she said)
She was so smiley and nice up until the morning when she tried to make me blame myself for my injury, when I said 'well it's not like there's much place to put the box' which she then stormed out and an hour later I was lied about and fired. In the meeting she told me they had THEIR health and safety person do a risk assessment, conveniently they had removed nearly all documents from the box and calculated the weight down to the individual sheet of paper and then used it against me. This does not negate the fact I had to lift it onto something taller than me without the aid of a step ladder (which I also have proof of)
The only upside is that when she tried to break the news that 'it's just not working out' I just said ok bye, walked out and got my things. She followed me into the office and said 'I need your lanyard then I need you to LEAVE.' It is amazing how this subsection of the mildly educated, overfed middle classes will patronise you, treat you utter contempt, outright lie about you, smirk in your face while doing it but two simple, non swear words send them into a self-righteous frenzy.
All of it is he-said-she-said and I'm acutely aware that her words have far more authority, but the two things that do have proof are her lies about the time I called, and the state of the room I worked in as I took a photograph.
If it wasn't obvious already, I live in England

This is in the elimination hotel
Acidy and void are roomates
Jej and Ivan are roomates
Wobble cake and snack bag are roomates
Coffin and arcade cabinet are roomates.
Cool rock and dance disc are roomates
That's it for now bye

Hi idk where to really begin with. This has happened multiple times. Today was the 6th time that he had forgotten to lock one of the front doors after coming home from work late as he works different hours than me and my family. He is staying with us for a few months until he’s able to get back on his feet. He doesn’t pay rent or food and gets his own room and has food available for him to eat from as well as we have been very generous with even letting him stay with us in our house out of family obligation(we’re Asian)
About 2-3 times he had forgotten to lock the front glass door- we have 2 doors in the front 1 glass door, 2nd wooden door. But had locked the wooden door ?
About 2 more times he had forgotten to lock the wooden door but had locked the glass door?
Then recently about 1-2 more times he has forgotten to lock the glass door and locked the wooden door.
About 2 nights ago I went out to see some friends- and he was home and offered to lock the door behind me as I was carrying multiple bags.
When I got home later that night after 3 ish hours, and used my key to open the door- I saw that only the glass front door was locked and the wooden door was not.
Yesterday we saw that he had left the glass door unlocked locked but had locked the wooden door.
Tonight- he still despite our reminder to him about 3-4 times now- did not lock the front door and had only locked the wooden door. Which I found out because I had my suspicions that he hadn’t locked it and went and checked.
I confronted him about it as it’s happened too many times now and he kept making excuses as to how the glass door is hard to lock. But hadn’t failed to lock the glass door 2 nights ago when I went out? So he does know how to lock the door.
We live in a safe area- patrolled outside the neighborhood often by police officers. but sometimes do get the usual people stealing mail in the neighborhood and about 7 months ago I did see a car try to break into someone’s car until they were caught and drove off.
Am I the asshole for getting mad at the fact that he kept making excuses about locking the door and did not lock it correctly many times?
Ps. We gave him house keys to use when he leave early. But he had also started taking them into his room and sleeping with them….. I would have to ask him (in my own house) permission to get my keys because I’d be locked out many different times because he would not leave the keys in the common area.
There were also instances when he would see me leave and say bye to my family- through the garage- as I had a garage opener at the time- and he locked me out 3 times knowing(and being told to everyone) that I was coming back. And I had to wake up my mom at 1-3 am everytime to open the door for me which she wasn’t happy about.
AITA?!!!! Or would this trigger you too?

My week started off ok. Monday was fine, nothing special. Tuesday I worked, not the best but ok. Wednesday I hung out with a friend, really fun time. Thursday, my class of high school seniors decided to go out of town to a neighboring towns farmers market to hang out and eat dinner together. We had a great time at farmers market, playing at an arcade, eating good food, and listening to a local band. While we were out to dinner, my friend who I killed in senior assassin (relavent if asked) , started asking for a bag of clothes he had left with us for months and wanted the keys of my car to unlock it, but I was in the middle of eating and talking to my friends, so I said I’d give it to him tomorrow. Well, he got mad at me and started yelling at me in the restaurant (chain restaurant , but still) and started also saying stuff about another topic and brining it into the current matter. My friends were all there and confused why he was so mad, some trying to calm him down, because he’s causing a scene. So then we get home after dropping off another friend, and I find out the guy who yelled at me earlier called my mom and my mom and dad had to hear about all this and my dad then proceeds to get mad at me and yell for an hour, so I end up in bed at around 12 am, after an exhausting 5-6 hours of being out. Then today, I was thinking it was going to be a better day, but it got so much worse. I was productive at school, I ran some errands, and I ended up at the post office, to grab a package. As I get in my car and start backing up out of this tight space, I hear a noise and realize I scraped the car next to me. To make matters worse, it was a BMW. I’m a high school student; I’m broke. This didn’t even fully register to me how much it’ll cost until I talked with my parents. But I left a note and have been contacting them. Think it can’t get worse? It can. I opened up my package I went to get. 2 of the 3 items were good. But the 3rd was a counterfeit item; and the policy for the website doesn’t do refunds on counterfeit items. Say bye bye to $200. Think it’s over? Tonight I’m going back to school to paint a mural for my final, after all this happened and I’m still crying. I still have to talk to my friend who yelled at me, and I owe him $340 for a concert ticket. Luckily, I just got paid, but all that money is going to the BMW damages, at the least. My next paycheck goes to a trip I’m paying for for this summer. This week has been so bad I’m genuinely about to loose it . Graduation is just around the corner and yet this stuff keeps happening.

So I had this friend... we are both seniors in college. We've been friends for 2.5-3 years, and we've been a part of this large friend group. I was always the "punching bag" of the friend group, and this friend in particular was like a saving grace for me. He would always let me talk to him about my issues, and I would do the same for him. We bonded over this, and became really close friends.
Unfortunately, we broke our friendship off right at the last second.
This is what happened:
Basically, as a student athlete, we have an event that's like a banquet for all of the college-level athletes that was going to happen one week. I'm a very forgetful person, and have been for a long time, and I mixed up the date of the event for the day prior, when it was the next day (for example, I thought the banquet was on Wednesday when it was actually on Thursday).
My friend texts me and asks if we can get boba. Of course, I say yes. We had recently gotten into a small disagreement the previous weekend, because I said something that I really didn't mean and I felt horrible about it, to the point where I apologized so many times and tried to be as sincere as possible. (Side note: whenever I feel like I apologize in this friend group, they never believe me and tell me that they never believe me, even when I'm being sincere- this is the same for this good friend). So of course, I'm feeling bad about it still and I really want to go out to boba.
He texts me about boba on the day that I think I have my banquet, so I tell my friend that I can't make a boba date tonight because I have the event and it will go a while into the night. He says okay, that's fine, and the conversation ended.
Later in the afternoon, we go to a Senior Symposium and I run into someone who is on my sports team, and my friend stands right besides me. I ask my teammate if he is ready for the banquet tonight, and he tells me it's tomorrow. I check my calendar and I find out it is tomorrow. I'm 99.9% sure my other friend heard this, and then he left me alone at the symposium. I didn't think much of it at the time. The night continues, and nothing else happens- no texts from my friend, nothing at all.
So the next night is the banquet, and I go and right as it is about to start, my friend texts me "Have fun at the banquet, glad nothing's changed." So I have no idea what this means, and because the event is starting, I just send three laughing emojis because I think it's a weird joke that I just don't get. That was it for that.
Next, I text my friend asking if he's going to a bar, I'm saying that I finished my paper and that I would love to go out to a bar. He tells me that he isn't because he has too many finals. I think that's reasonable, so I say "okay" and decide to stay home. I check his instagram story and others, and I see them all at the bar, having fun. I feel betrayed.
I confront my friend about all of this, asking for an explanation of why and if he was mad at me, because I just didn't know what was going on. My friend texted me back and told me that I purposefully lied about the event just to get out of hanging out with him, making it look like I lied and manipulated the event just so I wouldn't have to hang out with him. I get mad, because he texted me so rudely when I asked him politely if he was mad, and then he just kept on arguing and asking me to look in his perspective and telling me that I knowingly manipulated this situation because I've "done it before", when I feel like I haven't. After a while, I cut things off with him, and he guilt tripped me and made me feel like my decision was horrible, ending with "I shouldn't have even taken the time to learn your name". I tell him that "that's all I needed to know about your character, bye."

So, to give context; On Wednesday, I went to the doctor’s and I was there for about 2 hours and a half. I had a fever, was throwing up, etc. The doctors just gave me nausea medication. Then, I spent another hour waiting for my medication to be given to me. After that I spent 30 minutes waiting for the bus to arrive. At this point I’m bound to look homeless. (which now I think was the case, since I had a hoodie and my hair was a mess) I was shaking, tired, hurting from a fever (it was pretty bad, that night I dreamed I was a wizard creating cubes of magic 😐 in the dark) and It was cold, REALLY cold. Finally- my bus arrived and I took my seat.
Immediately after, I was feeling sleepy but you got me F’d up if you think I’m going to sleep on a bus as a teenage girl. Listen, I was struggling. Every other second I’d wake up and go back to sleep. I never slept longer than 3 seconds.
Anyways, this is where the actual story begins. During one of my wake-ups, this lady was leaning over to me, I couldn’t see her face because I was wearing a hoodie. Since she was so close to me, I quickly grabbed my bag and lifted my hoodie. I thought she wanted to sit next to me because there were no other spaces. However, I saw that she quickly rushed to the back. I just shrugged it off but then I started to hear them talking about me. (For context, I’m Hispanic. I speak and write Spanish but I look white). Let’s called these two 1 and 2. 1, being 2’s friend- and 2 being the lady I looked at.
1 asks 2 if I looked at her, to which she responds that I did and she could tell I was on drugs. (Mind you they are speaking Spanish) Yo, when I tell you I had to physically hold my head in place to not snap and look at them- it’s an understatement. However, I was tired, running high on a fever, etc. So, I just texted my friends about these ladies as they continued to talk amongst one another about me. They kinda started talking more quietly at some point so I couldn’t hear anymore. BY SOME FREAKING MIRACLE, 1 GOT OFF AT THE SAME STOP I DID. I didn’t know what she looked like but I knew her voice and right before she got off she was saying bye to 2. Another two things that gave me a clue of who she was were also because when I got off, she looked at me, she had a disgusted face. And I, like a sassy teenager looked at her up and down and scoffed. 3rd clue being that every time I crossed the street she crossed to the street opposite of me. However- I wasn’t done.
I got an Idea, so I called the same friends I was texting earlier and thankfully they answered. I put them on loudspeaker and very loudly I started to talk in Spanish about the two old hags that had the nerve to judge people. I knew the lady heard cause I wasn’t being quiet. At all. And I know she doesn’t mind her own business. Basically, I was stating loudly how I was in the hospital for 4 hours and oh how dare people have the nerve to judge others etc, etc. Midway through this, I crossed the street to be in front of her and I basically started tearing her up on the phone (not really, I’m not that mean) but I could tell she felt guilty cause she stopped crossing the street. Then, I got home and my mom ‘yelled’ at me for not saying anything during the bus ride. 🤷‍♀️
Anyways, I know this isn’t a true petty revenge but I’ll probably be back when this happens again, but with more juicier revenge.
Edit to add: YA’LL I FORGOT A VERY IMPORTANT DETAIL. I was on my period during this. So not only was I sick with something ‘severe’, I was bleeding and sensitive. Bro, why can’t I suffer from one thing? I got to suffer from three?!😭
TL:DR: I was sick and sleepy and these old ladies started saying I was on drugs, coincidentally one of the two left on the stop I did so I called my friends and stalked talking shit back.

As a driver, I know to avoid overt politicization of rides. It’s my car I know, but it is a business vehicle…
But I’ll recount a ride from upstate New York that I paid for as rider, just 2 days ago. Try not to be anti semitic to me (or anyone else).
It’s dark. It’s 2am. It’s a rideshare lot. And the driver gets out to load several bags.
Ride completes, at well lit hotel forecourt. On getting bags out, a huge flag unfurls from the raised trunk lid. It’s that flag (banned in many places, tv etc). But it’s on tv news a lot these days.
Surprised, I point to it, to driver. driver shrugs, saying I’m protesting flag suppression. And utters some familiar phase about another state. Then he velcros the flag back into its hidden position, tidies up stowage area, and bye bye.
My political opinions are irrelevant. But I do feel I had politics imposed on me, by subtle, nefarious means (similar to Reddit stalking).
And drives off

I thought it was an episode in one of the early seasons, apparently not.
Someone finds a red canvas-like bag with a body inside. It absolutely reeks of decomposing body and we see Sara vomiting into a trashcan. She can't get the odor off her body and someone she's interested in (not Grissom) comes by and smells it too. He quickly says bye

Venus jolted awake. Disoriented, she blinked at the sunlight filtering through the blinds, revealing the empty box of chocolate sprawled beside her in bed, like a sinful lover.
“Oh, God!” she groaned as she put her head in her hands.
The cell phone’s ring made her jolt again. Glancing at the screen, she saw Aiden’s name on the caller ID.
"Good morning, my love!" she answered, forcing a brightness into her voice.
"Happy birthday, beautiful! Sorry, I’m not there to celebrate with you today,” Aiden's voice, warm and familiar, crackled through the receiver. “Celebratory dinner when I get back on Friday?"
"Sounds perfect."
“Hey, did you get the chocolate and flowers I sent you?”
“Yes! Oh my God, the bouquet is gorgeous....and all peonies...my favorite.”
“How about the chocolate? Did you try any of them?”
Venus looked at the sad empty box and started putting the stray chocolate wrappers into it.
“I got the box. It looks so fancy, but I haven’t opened it yet.”
“I ordered them from this artsy chocolatier that has unusual flavors like saffron and rose water. I think you’ll like them.”
Venus got out of bed, carrying the box.
“Yum, can’t wait to try them. You’re so thoughtful.”
“It takes one to know one. Okay, gotta run. Have a meeting in a few. See you Friday. Love you.”
“Love you too. Bye.”
Hanging up, Venus surveyed the bed and floor to make sure there were no empty wrappers left behind.
Then, quickly, she headed to the kitchen and grabbed a large recycling bag.
She dumped the chocolate box in it and walked towards the trash can which was overflowing with all kinds of candy, cookie, and cake wrappers. She dumped those in the recycling bag as well and secured it with two fierce knots.
She scanned the kitchen, making sure she had not left any evidence behind.
Nothing.
She let out a sigh and said, “Siri, play Vivaldi.”
Classical music was her constant refuge. She would let it linger in the air and wash over her nerves.
As she listened to 'La Primavera' and relaxed, her gaze drifted to her favorite painting on the dining room wall. Sandro Botticelli’s "Birth of Venus".
The painting was supposed to be more meaningful that day. A congratulatory reminder of her existence from the goddess she was named after. Instead, she felt the goddess was mocking her for the shameful night before.
She escaped to the dressing room to change. Only to find her self-scrutiny intensified within its mirrored walls that reflected with brutal honesty.
Apparent were a subtle swell of her stomach, and a telltale puffiness around her eyes. She turned, observing her thighs. At least no changes there.
She could still fit into her clothes. Of course, she could. But what would she wear? What does one wear on her special day, she wondered.
She looked at her favorite dresses, and then, as if the day hadn’t started dramatically enough, she remembered. She couldn’t wear any of her dresses. Absolutely not.
Today was the day of her interview at Bayside Hospital. The place where she'd envisioned herself working ever since she was a teenager; her dream job.
She looked at her watch. Eight twenty-nine. Her heart sank. The interview was at nine.
No time for self-pity. Every second counted.
She looked at her formal wardrobe. Silk blouses peeked from their designated shelves. Their delicate fabrics and understated patterns hinted at a quiet femininity beneath the professional facade.
Rows of gleaming pumps, in classic black and pops of unexpected color, stood poised on a lower shelf, ready to conquer any meeting or conference room.
A single impeccably tailored blazer hung center stage, its sharp lines a testament to quiet authority.
But Venus had no time to ponder. She picked out a navy skirt and dark blue blouse. She had never thrown an outfit together this fast.
She ran to the bathroom. Her hair, usually styled in elegant waves, was yanked back into a messy bun secured with the first pin she could find.
A glance in the mirror confirmed the precarious state of her hair bun, but there was no time for adjustments.
She picked up her purse and shoved her feet into the closest pair of flats.
As she raced to the door, she remembered makeup. Oh well, this was an interview for a nutritionist, not a runway model, she told herself.
But there was one thing she could not forget. Getting rid of the recycling bag. That was a must. So that she could forget all about last night.
With a final yank on the door, Venus headed out, carrying the large recycling bag like a chubby baby.
At the apartment building's communal recycling area, she cast a furtive glance around, then dumped the bag in the bin and slammed the lid shut.
A feeling of relief washed over her. Now she could concentrate on what mattered.
She envisioned herself at the interview, as a picture of calm competence. She got this. After all, no one deserved the Senior Nutritionist position at Bayside more than her.
A bachelor's degree in biochemistry and a master's degree in food nutrition, both from an Ivy League school and top of her class - this was just the foundation. She also had a decade of clinical research experience and stellar recommendations from respected colleagues.
Maybe landing this job on her birthday was meant to be. The stars were aligned and ready to grant her heart's desire, she thought.
Suddenly, a vision of Botticelli’s Venus flickered in her mind. "Think you’ll be the Senior Nutritionist at Bayside? Think again. You're a fraud! A shimmering facade masking a mess. This dream will turn to dust in your hands, just like the cookies I watched you consume last night."
Goddess Venus was right. Human Venus was an imposter. A nutritionist with a secret sugar addiction and major binge disorder. A secret that she had kept from everyone, including her beloved husband.
No one knew that she craved and consumed the very foods she told others were detrimental to their health. Frosting-laden cakes, creamy dreamy shakes, and brightly colored candies that she had learned, through biochemistry courses, were almost toxic for human consumption.
Her confidence faltered as the weight of her secret pressed down on her. The steps that moments ago seemed light and purposeful now felt heavy, each one a reminder of the lie she was living.
But slowing down wasn't an option. She was already running late.
What she needed now was a release from the suffocating guilt and shame. To numb herself, to become emotionally empty. Yes, EMPTY…. like the box of chocolate she woke up next to.

So I work as an Amazon delivery driver which means I encounter customers from all over town frequently, and about an hour ago I actually ended up coming across 2 transphobic boomers while I was delivering in a senior apartment building. They held the door for me as I was dragging a bag of packages and said “there you go!” So I thanked them. Immediately the lady was surprised and said “omg I thought you were a girl!” And then the convo basically went like this
Me: well I’m trans so technically I am
B1: well not today you’re not (laughs)
B2: I’m going to head out
B1: no please don’t leave me alone there’s no cameras here (laughs again)
B2: (walks back to her) it’s alright I have cameras
B1: oh god I just want to go to heaven, I’m ready to go
B2: agrees
After that they just stare at me the entire time I’m delivering packages to their mailroom until I finally start heading out, and we both say good bye to each other. Ik the story itself wasn’t too bad I know there’s been worse incidents on this sub but I still found it amusing and shocking that I actually came across 2 transphobes out in the wild, which ig was bound to happen since I deliver in a lot of red areas and towns. I’m just glad that I passed as a woman :)

Goruck GR2 26L TB Synik 30 PD travel bag 30L CZ military 36L
I’ve been using the TB S30 for about 3-4 years as EDC and international travel. One bag to Japan several times, around Japan, Philippines, Thailand, and small trips in USA. I want one bag to be a travel bag AND EDC bag.
LOVE the TB organization and front pockets. Nobody can compare. The ease of access, their own volume not stolen by the main compartment, the various sizes to fit each thing you have perfectly. It’s a dream. And a bunch of other cool features.
BUT….to be honest the TB is just not convertible to wear loaded out. The bag sags, and the turtle back design puts all the weight towards the bottom, which sags the bag and loads the weight directly on my sacrum (I’m 5’10). With or without the hip straps it’s uncomfortable; limits mobility, makes you “ass heavy” like a 1982 Nissan 280Z….easy to fishtail in this bag. In other words, you feel a ballast weigh low that swings you around. It hindered me wherever I went, and I never felt comfortable carrying it, especially in Tokyo, for example trying to navigate Shinjuku station (busiest train station in the world) with 20 million people running at you from all sides….fishtailing my heavy ass right and left to make my way through the crowd. I also felt weighed down, “heavy” and less mobile. Like a slow, underbridge troll trying to dance ballet.
Despite the organization, despite the fact it’s an amazing EDC, despite the other neat features…after a few years, I was DONE.
Bye bye Tom Bihn.
Hello other choices!
Peak design….sleek and sultry as all hell. Smooth fabric and beautiful shape. I actually want to have sex with this bag. Lol. But, short story is…bag is a bit long, shoulder straps just OK, sits a little low and not so comfy. Hip straps and great actually, but still anchors you and restricts movement. But the killer for this bag is how it fails as an EDC. Top admin compartment is a fail. Too small gets eaten by internal volume. Other than that you have to get in the main compartment from the back. It’s just weird. Look there are plenty of things to love about this bag. And as a travel bag I think it’s good. But it’s not built for EDC. As sexy as it is, I have to dump it.
Cabin Zero. Amazing value for the price. Really, great straps and back panel. Good zips and compartments, simple and easy packing, and molle attachments. But in short….bag sags when it wear it, making it sit low, pressure on sacrum and all the negative effects that come with that. Like the TB bag in that regard.
Enter Goruck GR2 26L. Amazing. Works as a travel bag *and EDC. Sits high on back, waist and hips free to move (insert salsa dancing gif). You could actually Samba in this thing. Shoulder straps (once sternum strap is added) are perfect. Packs well, quick access pocket right inside second compartment. Second compartment great for EDC. Molle points let you attach some majorly cool shit, customization off the charts. And doesn’t weight that much more than anything else comparable.
I think I might marry this bag 😍

(Posting on mobile, sorry for formatting in advance) That's what I've been telling myself at least. I currently have an infestation going on in my apartment due to birds nesting in the vent. I had no idea this was even a thing until it happened! I wanted to put my story out in the ether and spread some hope, possibly. They are going away, but slowly.
It all started when I saw tiny bugs crawling out of my phone. It was so weird. After a deep dive on the internet, I started seeing more pop up in my bathroom. I realized that this started happening after some birds left their nest in the vent. They were going crazy one night and then left the next day. This is when all hell broke loose and I was living in one of my own worst nightmares.
The first day of discovery, my spouse and I picked up some food grade Diatamaceous Earth, spread that shit on the bedroom carpet and master bath, and slept in the living room for 2 nights. I've never been more grateful for laundry that I procrastinated on because that was our saving grace to have clothes.
What I've learned they hated: Essential oils (esp peppermint, lavender, and clove) Lack of humidity, DE, and dish soap.
EDIT: One thing that helped me when I was cleaning active spaces: Wear tight clothing, lube yourself with Aquaphor and peppermint oil. You'll be able to see them and they won't move as fast. Just make sure to exfoliate when you shower. For those with long hair, use shampoo/conditioner with peppermint in it, like Pureology Hydrate. And blowdry the crap out of your hair and apply leave-in treatments afterwards. You'll be able to fix it when you're done dealing with them.
When we vaccumed the bedroom and bathroom, we made sure to spray the perimeters with Ortho Home Defense. Of course, we also steamed the mattress, changed bedding, all that. We've been spraying our bedding with a mixture of cheap vodka, clove oil, peppermint, and some water just to keep them away.
Within the week, we started seeing successful results. In the meantime, I vacuumed and sprayed Ortho around the rest of the apartment, which afaik, was not affected. That doesn't mean the anxiety goes away and there some that occasionally pop up in the bathroom.
We forgot to treat one room in our apartment and that happened to be the closet where they wreaked absolute havoc and partied in there. We thought that would have been a safe place because there are no vents there. After 20 minutes of trying to investigate the madness, we threw some more DE in there, sprayed Ortho in the parameters we could and closed the door. Girl, bye.
We did contact our apartment complex upon first discovery. Maintenance did remove the nests, but didn't find bugs. Our apartment complex allegedly never heard of this issue in the last 15 years the complex had been around. The pest control they hired was clueless about how to help us, also never heard of this issue, and said he would "look into it" and have an answer in a week, because he only comes out on Mondays.
I called Orkin the same day and waiting on a call back for an inspection and estimate. This has been a week so far and it's driven me to the point of needing anxiety meds. I break down every damn day. We have come a long way though.
My spouse has been my absolute backbone and cannot thank her enough. She tells me to remind myself of what we've done so far and to look at the evidence. The evidence is that they are dying and are going away. I ask yourself to do the same thing if you find yourself in this situation as well. Be diligent and do what you can.
The takeaway from all this: It can and will get better. It's vital to treat the root causes first. These little fucks will multiply somehow, even without bird blood, which is so wild because it's contrary to what I've read. We haven't had any really bite us or our pets, thankfully.
Also, more life lessons: Declutter where you can, properly store your clothes in bins, and get rid of the damn cardboard boxes. I swear you don't need them. Also, dehumidify your space if you live somewhere hot and icky like I do. Good luck out there.
UPDATE 1: Orkin called back. They told me that they only remove the nest bc they will die out eventually and it seemed like we are doing a good job so far from the sounds of it. Also, to use rubbing alcohol to contact kill them. We tackled the closet today. While it was overwhelming and stressful, we didn't uncover as many as I thought we would. Just a couple here and there. We got a car steamer that is quite small for its function, but it did the job with steaming clothes then taking them to the dryer. We set miscellaneous things into the bathroom that's been pretty barricaded with bug spray already. I'm so nervous that we messed up somehow and got them everywhere, but I'm going to believe we have it contained until we have evidence otherwise. Getting space bags for washed clothes and we finish out the rest of the closet tomorrow! I will be so happy when this is done.

TW: Alcoholism, drug addiction, violence, suicidal ideation, sex abuse
This is going to be a LLLLLOOONNNNGGGGG one. This story goes back quite a way, but yesterday was the tenth anniversary of the ending to this story and I'm feeling it, still got some guilt about everything that happened, wondering what I could have done differently and I just want to vent it out and hope to get some closure from it.
This story started in 2010.
Characters in this story (names are fake, duh!):

• Me, Guy, 32M at the time, 45 now.
• My BFF Stephanie, 33F at the time.
• Stephen, 40M at the time, Stephanie's boyfriend.
• Maryse, 27F at the time.

Background and intro
I had known Stephanie for many years and we had the kind of friendship that made her BFs and my GFs uncomfortable to put it lightly. We had never crossed that boundary and I wouldn't consider us in the friendzone, we were just friend, but the kind of friend where she would sit on my lap with her arms around my neck or her head on my shoulder.
At the start of 2010, Stephanie met her then boyfriend, Stephen. He tolerated me and my friendship with Stephanie because I also had a gf back then. She liked Stephanie, wasn't at all jealous of my friendship with her, so he didn't deem me too suspicious. Then my gf and I broke up for reasons unimportant and all hell broke loose for Stephen. He became convinced that I would try and steal Stephanie from him. He insisted that Stephanie introduce me to her female friends or female friends of his. Thus began what I called the year of the 50 blind dates. It was probably closer to 20, but still I like saying the year of 50 blind dates. Most of them were unremarkable and never went beyond the first date. There are some fun stories in there if anyone wants to hear them eventually!
In July of that year, I had to switch gears because I had to focus up and study for a professional exam for a certification important to my career. This exam required close to 600-800 hours of study over a 3-4 month period. So I hunkered down, told Stephanie to stop the blind dates for now because I had to focus on that. She respected my wishes and, other a text here or there, we went low contact for the last two months before the exam.
Except for one fateful night in September. Her birthday was in September and she always threw these big bashes at her house. She would throw a big pool party that started around noon and would go on to the wee hours of the morning. I knew she would harass me to go to her party, so I made some quick math and figured I would lose more energy and time trying to dodge her calls, texts and most likely visits at my place than by just going to the party itself. So when she called me to ask, I just said: "Okay I'll go to your damn party, now git." I texted her I would get there in the evening probably around 8. She texted back "Great, can't wait. Now study, bitch!"
So I ultimately get there around 8PM. Basically everybody is already drunk off their gourd. Stephanie sees me, squeals in excitement and runs to me in her bikini and just jumps in the air and slams into me, wraps her arms around my neck and her legs around my waist and gives me a big hug. I hug her back and just keep walking back to the pool where she had started, carrying her with me. I just duck my head around hers and say hi to Stephen, who just glares at me.
She drops back down and I give her her gift. We chat for a few seconds and says "There's beer in the fridge and food in the dining room." I told her I'd be right back.
I go inside and grab a beer from the fridge. I head to the dining room and the table is against the wall with a buffet of sandwiches, tomato pizza, salads, etc. I grab a plate and start putting food on it. I was focused on the task because I was starving. I barely noticed, sitting at the end of the table one of the most stunning woman I have ever seen. I just see her in my peripheral vision and I do a quick double take, quick glance at her and back to the food. I do that a second time. And finally a third time. At that point she is just straight up staring at me and I can't help but chuckle and whisper under my breath "Subtle Guy, sub-tle".
Thankfully she starts laughing too, saving me some embarassment. I look at her and greet her. She says "Hi, I'm Maryse and I'm guessing you're Guy?" I just nod and we start talking. At that point, I just thought I have no shot with her, she's so far out of my league that I'm just gonna talk to her until she sees one of the "models" hanging out by the pool and ditches me for him.
So I'm not feeling like I'm playing for anything, so I'm just myself and not nervous, just talking to her as I would any friend. We chat and she laughs at all my jokes, she gets all my cultural references. She never gets up or ditches me. The plate of food I had made and the beer I had gotten are sitting on the table next to me untouched, I was too busy with the convo to think about food or beer anymore.
After what felt like only 20-30 minutes, Stephanie comes in and tells me, fake grumpy: "So that's where you disappeared to. I invite my best friend to a party and he spends the whole night talking to someone else." I laugh and go: "What do you mean the whole night? I haven't been here that long." She says "Dude, it's 2AM. You've been here for 6 hours..." My jaw dropped and I just said: "Wow, time flies when you're having fun." Maryse chimes in, with a big smile: "It sure does!" That made me happy as you can imagine.
Now I was a little stuck because where Stephanie lived, there's no night service for the bus and the subway had been closed for an hour or so. I figured I would cab it. So I turn to Maryse and tell her: "It was absolutely lovely to meet you and I enjoyed our conversation very much." She says that she did too. I continued with "At the moment, my schedule is incredibly hectic. I'm basically working full-time, studying full-time and sleeping part-time. So I don't have a lot of free time, but if she was interested, whatever little free time I had, I would love to call her or text her to keep on getting to know her."
I see Stephanie in the backgroudnd, looking like a proud mama at how smooth that came out, knowing I was always anything but smooth with women, as proven by the string of blind dates! Maryse has a big smile and we exchange numbers. I go to Stephanie to wish her a happy birthday again. While I'm talking to her, my phone buzzes with a text from Maryse: "Just checking!"
I asked Stephanie "What's the best cab company to call in this area?" Maryse chimes in: "Where do you live?" I tell her where I lived and she goes "It's on the way to where I live, I can give you a ride if you want." Stephanie raised an eyebrow in surprise. I learned later, she did it because it absolutely was not on the way to her place, like, at all. I say that I would love that as it would give us a chance to keep talking.
We get in her car, driving to my place. We talk, she asks me what I'm studying as I hadn't mentioned it earlier. I tell her all about the boring maths I had to study. Much too quickly, we get to my place. She parks in front of my building and we keep talking. At some point, I tell her: "Normally, this is where I would try to "trick" you into coming up to my place..." She interrupts me: "You wouldn't need to trick me. I'm willing and able!"
I tell her that "As tempting as that sounds, I know who I am and I know that if you come up and things proceed to where they're going, I'm not going to be able to study for the rest of the month. I have a kind of obsessive mind and when I find someone or something I like, I can push everything else to the side in favor of that. So to make sure I can still focus on my studying, I have to go up by myself."
She looks at me, a little disappointed but then says, half-jokingly: "We don't have to go up, there's a backseat right there!" We laugh and I give her a kiss and wish her a good night. I managed to stay strong and go back to my condo. Damn it, why did I have to stay strong!!!
My exam was at the beginning of november. During the month of october, we texted a bunch of times and talked on the phone. We went for coffee a couple of times and dinner once. She respected my boundaries and never pushed for more, which I appreciated but also hated at the same time, if that makes sense. The exam came and it was a monster of a Friday. I slept for basically 18 hours after the exam as the adrenalin dropped and my system crashed.
I texted her when I woke up at around 1PM. She was working at the clothing store Stephanie owned. She said "I'm off at 5PM, wanna meet me." I said: "Duh! Why do you think I'm texting? ;)" So I met her at the store downtown. I asked if she wanted to grab a drink, go for dinner, or what. She proposed going to her place and getting some take out. Stephanie who was closing the store at that moment, came up to us and said: "Hey, so what are we doing?" I said: "WE, that is Maryse and I, are going to her place and getting some takeout. Bye!" I'm sure you'll understand when I tell you that no food was ever ordered that night!
Thus followed a whirlwind month of November where any free time we had was spent together, and I wasn't going to complain!
The troubles
By the start of december, things were still going great with us. One saturday night, we were having dinner at a restaurant and I mention that this coming Friday is my office Christmas party, that it's employees only, so we wouln't see each other that night. She tells me: "Oh sure, that's fine! It'll give me a chance to go see some girlfriends I've been neglecting lately." I said "Great! BTW I also got us a reservation at [this great restaurant she had mentioned a few times] for next Saturday, so we could go there and I'll tell you all about my party and you can tell me all about her night with the girls!"
That was settled, I thought. I was wrong. On Thursday, we had spent the evening together at her place and I was about to leave to go back to my place. She tells me: "So are you coming to meet me at the store tomorrow or do I go to your place?" I reminded her: "Neither, tomorrow is my office Christmas party and we won't see each other tomorrow." She said: "Oh right, I forgot." I asked her if she had made plans with her friends like she had mentioned last saturday. She said that they were all busy tomorrow and weren't available.
She suggested "If your party is boring, maybe you could come meet me." I retorted that it wasn't going to be, knowing who was going to be there.
"Yeah but what if?"
"But it won't"
"But what IFFFFFF?" she kept insisting and I kept saying no. After what felt like 30 minutes of that (probably only 2-3 minutes in reality), I had enough and just said to end the argument: "Okay, if it's boring, I'll come. but it won't be." She said: "Cool" with a big smile on her face. I came to learn that that smile meant "Challenge accepted".
The following night, my colleague and I were pregaming in a conference room before leaving for the party proper and my phone buzzes. Maryse was wishing me a good party. I replied. She texted me again. I replied. She texted again, but I was in a conversation with a colleague so I didn't reply or even look at the phone. My phone buzzes again. Still talking, and didn't want to be rude to my colleague. Another buzz. I just kept talking. Phone buzzes differently, she was now calling because I hadn't answered her texts.
"Why aren't you replying to my texts?"
"Hey, sorry, was talking to my colleague Patrick."
"What? you don't want to talk to me?"
"I am talking to you now."
"Why didn't you reply to my texts?"
"Because it would have been rude to my colleague to pull my phone out while talking to him."
"But you're talking to me now."
"Because I thought something was wrong, maybe it was an emergency."
"I wanted to talk to you, that's all."
"Well, gotta go back to the party. Talk to you later."
She kept texting and if I didn't reply right away, she would call after two or three missed texts. After about 2 hours of this, I stopped answering the texts. When she called back, I asked her: "Aren't you supposed to be working?" which started another round of guilt-tripping of "why are you asking me this? you don't want to talk to me?" At that point I had had enough and wanted to enjoy my party. I remembered that the Blackberry (no shaming old tech!) I had had an annoying feature, but I was hoping to put it to good use at that moment.
Whenever the battery would get really low, like less than 1%, it would let out an ear-piercing BEEP for about 3 seconds, reminiding you to charge it and giving you a heart attack all at the same time. It would do that even when you were in silent mode. It had happened a few days earlier when I was with Maryse. I figured, if I press a button on the Blackberry, it would make a beep too that could be heard through the phone. So while I was talking to Maryse, I pressed my thumb on the space bar for a good 3 seconds and sputtered; "what... the .... what?" trying to put on a somewhat believable performance.
She asked what that noise was and I tell her that it was my blackberry letting me know I was low battery and it might shut off any second. I told her "Listen I'm gonna wish you a good night, I'm having a good time at my party so I'll see you tomorrow at 5PM to go spend our evening together. I hope you have a good....." and hung up mid-sentence. I promptly shut my phone off and went back to the party. I concede that I may be a bit of an AH for that move.
The party was great, I got drunk much quicker than I expected owing to the fact that I hadn't had a drink in over two months because Maryse didn't drink so I didn't either when we were together, and we were always together. At 1AM, I went home and passed out on my bed.
This is another place where I may have been an AH. I didn't turn my cell phone back on and I unplugged my home line too, because I wanted to sleep the deep sleep of the drunkard. I woke up at around 1:30 PM, not knowing it was already too late. In my mind, I was meeting Maryse at 5PM to go out on the town that night. Maryse had other ideas as you'll see.
So like I said, I woke up at 1:30PM and was sticky with alcohol sweat, so I went straight for the shower to get clean again. While in the shower, my stomach grumbled with hunger and I started daydreaming of bacon and eggs. That pushed me out of the shower right quick. I dried myself off quickly, tied the towel around my waist and went to the fridge. No bacon.... booo. Looked at the egg compartment... no eggs... booo again. Okay then, how about a cream cheese bagel. No cream cheese, damn it. Look in the pantry, no bagels.... god. I was starting to get angry. Okay, cereals then. I pick up the cereal box, that mofo was empty and I get mad: "who's the idiot who puts the empty box back in the pantry?" I remembered I live alone.
I close the fridge dejected and see the grocery list stuck on the fridge, taunting me with everything I wanted to eat for breakfast written on it. But I felt like if I went to the grocery store hungry as I Was, I'm just gonna pay 600$ and not get one single healthy thing to eat. I then remembered there's a restaurant next to the grocery store that serves breakfast until 3PM. I get excited! I get dressed quickly, grab my wallet and keys, put my boots on, my coat on, wrap my scarf, my tuque and my gloves and go to the restaurant. If you notice, I didn't mention my phone in there.
I get to the restaurant and confirm that they still have breakfast and get even more excited when she confirms it. I order the "heart attack", at least that's how I nicknamed it: 3 eggs, 3 servings of bacon, 2 sausages, and, I guess to give one peace of mind, fruit (or to be precise, one single solitary slice of orange). Now that the food is ordered and coming I figured I would check if I have any messages. I pat the pocket where my phone always is. No phone. uh-oh. I start clutching evert pocket, no luck.
I wonder if I should go back home after the meal before going to the grocery store and decide against it, it would be too long a detour. So I scarf my breakfast down, rush through the grocery store. I get home and set my bags down in front of the fridge. I go pick up my blackberry. I turn it back on. The little tape icon tells me there are messages on my voicemail, at that time there were no red dots with a number in it to tell you how many.
I connect to the voicemail while starting to put the groceries away. The little automated voice tells me "You have 25 new messages." I pull the phone away from my ear, look at it in disbelief as if saying: "are you f'ing kidding me?" So I press 1 to start playing the messages.
Remember: Maryse knew I was at a party with a dead phone, no chargers and I probably wouldn't get home until 1AM. From 6:30PM, when my phone died, to 11:34 PM, when she went to sleep she left me 9 messages. BTW I know she went to sleep at 11:34PM because she left me a message saying "it's 11:34PM and I'm going to bed. Thinking of you." The 9 messages were in the same vein. These are the salient details, but the messages were all much longer.
She woke up at 7:15 the following day, I'll let you guess how I know that tidbit of information! She left me 5 more messages like those from the day before: 7:15 woke up. 7:35 going to take a shower. 7:55 out of the shower. 8:25 getting ready to leave for work 8:50 walking out of the subway to go to the store.
She leaves me another message at 9 that was different. She sounded very excited as if she had had the best idea in the world: "Hey it's 9AM, I'm about to start my shift. I know we're only supposed to meet after my shift, but what if you came and met me for lunch so you could tell me all about your party." I just did my best Scooby-Doo "Ruh-Roh" and chuckled that I blew that, not thinking the calamity that was awaiting me.
Another couple of messages to talk logistics: "I could take my lunch at 12 or 12:30, let me know which you prefer." "I'm taking my lunch at 12:30"
A slightly worried message: "It's 11:15 and you stil have not said if you were coming or not, are you okay?"
The first bomb goes off and I knew I was in trouble then: "Where are you? We're supposed to meet for lunch and you still haven't given me any sign of life, you're not answering your home phone either, what happened?" Reminder: we were not supposed to meet for lunch, she suggested doing so a couple of hours earlier and I never agreed to anything. I guess she told her colleagues I would meet her for lunch and it was now fact and could perhaps make her look bad in front of her colleagues.
The second bomb drops: "It's almost noon now, WHERE ARE YOU? Stephanie says you're probably sleeping off your drunk, but I don't believe her. I'm sure you got yourself a slut and cheated on me. Didn't you? didn't you, you asshole." Stephanie knows me very well, but that wasn't enough for Maryse it seems.
Ensued four more messages from 12:30 to 1:15, where she starts sounding more and more drunk and accusatory, spewing more attacks like in the message above. At that point I already knew it was over, there was no coming back from that. I can understand having trust issues, but that was nuclear. I don't tolerate jealousy because of horrible experiences with a couple of jealous toxic exes.
A final message comes in, and it's a different voice, that of my best friend being more than a little angry: "Hey Guy, listen, Maryse tells me you had a Christmas party yesterday, so I'm guessing you're sleeping off your drunk, still. But call me when you get this. I put Maryse, who's f'ing drunk, in the backstore so she can dry off and "do inventory". She can't be on the sales floor obviously and I just don't feel safe sending her home in the state she's in. Call me to tell me how you want to handle this."
At that point I had finished putting away my groceries and had put my boots and my coat on and was making my way to the subway to go to the store. I call Stephanie and tell her I got the messages and I was coming. She was right, I was sleeping off my drunk and had just woke up (didn't feel the need to mention the breakfast and grocery store). I ask her if she knows what I'm gonna do when I get there. She says that she knows and understands. She knows my bad history.
When I get out of the subway, I call her again before getting to the store. I ask her how she wants me to do this. It's her store and I don't want to create drama in front of her customers. Does she want me to wait outside and she tells Maryse to meet me in the street or do I go in the store and she takes me to the backstore and I do it there? She says to come to the store.
I walk in the store and every saleswomen on the floor looks at me and gives me the biggest case of the stink-eye. They only have Maryse's side of the story, so they think I did all these horrible things. I see Stephanie in the middle of the store and I walk towards her. She shakes her head and points me towards the cash register. I look over there and see Julia, a salesperson that I've known for a couple of years and really like, who also happens to be the biggest gossip in the store. I understand what Stephanie is trying to do. She's gonna make me tell her my story in front of Julia so Julia can spread the "good news" to the other employees and rehabilitate my name possibly.
So I get to the register and say Hi to Julia. She barely acknoledges me. Steph joins me. She asks me:
"How are you?"
"I was better an hour ago, before I listened to those voicemails. I had gone to our office party last night, had a great night, got drunk off my ass, got home at around 2 and woke up around 2."
Julia asks "Maryse told us you were supposed to meet her for lunch."
"No we weren't. I have a reservation for tonight at XYZ restaurant. I was supposed to take the day to do errands, stuff around the condo and meet her here at closing time. She suggested that it could be fun if I came at lunchtime to meet her, but that was never the plan."
Julia asks again "But why didn't you answer your phone?"
"It ran out of battery last night during the party and when I got home, I was so drunk that I forgot to plug it back in. I only plugged it when I woke up at 2. That's when the messages came in."
Julia asks "She says she tried calling your home line and you didn't answer and your machine didn't kick in."
"Yeah, that one's my fault, I knew I wanted to sleep and telemarketers have a habit of calling me early saturday mornings so I didn't want to be awoken by a call for a rug cleaning service, so I unplugged it yesterday morning, knowing I would be drunk when I got home and forget and be angry if I was awakened by a telemarketer."
Julia gave me a hint of a smile, showing me she was starting to believe me. She asked me a few more questions and then she asked what I was gonna do. I told her that whatever I'll do, I would tell Maryse first.
I looked at Stephanie and said: "Can you open the back store so I can go see her?" So we went to the backstore. As we reached the door, it swung opened and out popped Maryse, looking absolutely terrifying, I actually jumped back when I saw her. Her usual perfect makeup was completely smeared, her mascara streaking down her cheeks from the crying. Her hair was disheveled. She was a mess. Apparently, she had had enough of waiting back there and was planning on leaving the store to go home and had put her coat and boots on.
When she saw me, she went into an unhinged rant about me being an asshole for cheating on her, me not being great in bed, me not treating her right, etc. I let her vent everything she had to say, I looked at Stephanie and apologized for creating such a scene in her store. I tell Maryse we should go outside and talk in private. She keeps on yelling, but when I grab her hand to lead her outside, she follows.
When we get outside, her anger had started to wane a little, or maybe just her energy. I was able to talk to her to explain everything, how I had gotten drunk, had overslept (alone) and woke up at 2PM. I reminded her that we were only supposed to meet at 5PM not for lunch. The anger was leaving her and a smile almost appeared on her face. Through all of this I was being very calm and patient with her, which she interpreted as me not being mad at her. I then said in a firmer tone: "However..." and let it hang for a second.
The beginning smile vanished. I continued: "When you accused me of cheating on you, that broke me. That triggered memories of toxic exes who would always accuse me of cheating, not trusting me when I would tell them where I was, snooping on me, stalking me. Because of those experiences, I have a zero tolerance policy for jealousy. I told her that if she was behaving like after only two months of dating, it didn't bode well for the future and I have to protect myself."
At that, the tears started again and she just turned and ran/waddled away. I told her to wait, but she didn't hear me. I turned towards the entrance of the store to see basically all the employees and customers milling around the door trying to catch the drama. I went back inside to talk to my best friend. The mood had definitely changed and no one was giving me the stink eye anymore, but I didn't really care. I was just sad that it had ended, but proud of myself for having stood up for myself.
So AITA for getting drunk and keeping my phone turned off?
There is a lot more to this story and if you want to learn what happened afterwards, then read on.
The immediate aftermath
So I went back inside the store and talked to Stephanie. I told her that I had a reserrvation for XX restaurant and if she wanted to go with Stephen, she could take it, I wasn't in the mood for a dinner. She said "I already have plans for tonight, but thanks for offering." Julia said she would go with me if I wanted, but I just said that I wasn't in the mood to go out. I just wanted to crash and eat a pizza and get into a food coma.
Stephanie said she didn't feel comfortable leaving me by myself and I should join them at her house. They were having friends over to play board games and it could at least distract me a little. I said why not. So brimming with enthusiasm, I went to play bored games. I left early as I wasn't in the mood. I was feeling a little better, but still a bit down. I thanked Stephanie for the invite and left. I got home and just passed out on the bed.
I woke up at around 7AM the next morning and I saw along the corners of the window the tell-tale signs of a snow-drift and got excited as it was the first snow of the season. I pushed the curtains aside and looked on to see a beautiful white carpet outside. It was early enough that very few cars had marred the whiteness. I was admiring it when I noticed that, against the red bricks of the building across the street, there was a pink blotch. As I focused, the blotch became human shaped and I cleared my eyes enough to realize that it was Maryse and she was raising her cell phone to her ear.
On cue, my phone rings. I pick it up. Still sounding drunk, she asks me if we can speak. I ask her to give me five minutes to get dressed and I'll meet her down there. She asks why she can't come up. I say that I'm not sure I want her in my apartment. She says that it's cold out. I say: "Good, then this will be quick."
I get dressed and meet her outside. I'm still bleary-eyed from having woken up 5 minutes ago, but I try to get my wits together. I tell her that we're going to walk to the subway. It 's a 10-minute walk normally, but with her drunkenness, it might take 15-20 minutes. That's how long she has to tell me what she wants to tell me.
She wants to apologize for accusing me of cheating on her. She says she knows I'm a great guy and... I may be the A-hole at this point too, but I start to drift off in my little bubble and start daydreaming about, if I go back to bed, would there still be some residual heat or would it be cold? I could take a hot shower and warm the bed that way. I could still hear her in the background making excuses, saying how she had been cheated on, but I wasn't really listening.
During the daydreaming I notice it got quite quiet. I look on my left and she's not there, I turn around she's a good 5-6 steps behind me looking angry and she says: "you're not listening" I just say: "when you're right, you're right." I tell her that I understand she's been hurt too in the past, and I hope she can work to resolve her issues, but I was done and I'm going back to bed. I was a bit harsh there, but I was tired and still down.
I walk past her and get maybe 10 paces past her when I hear a scream coming from her. I turn around and I see her messing with something inside her coat. She pulls out a chef's knife with like an 8-inch blade. That wakes me the fuck up. Byebye bleary eyes, hello wakefulness. better than a cup of coffee or a red bull I tell you!
So she's got the knife, she's screaming something that I can't quite understand. She gets quiet and then she charges at me with the knife. If I'm being honest I could have stayed where I was and she probably would have missed me anyways, but someone charges at me with a knife, I'm gonna nope out of there. I take a massive side step and once she gets to where I was and realizes that I'm no longer there, she turns her head towards me and says heyyyyy.
At that point, I have a moment of clarity and see what's gonna happen. She's drunk running one way and looking another, I know she's gonna trip. As I predicted, she stumbled over her feet and starts falling to the ground. I start praying to god and anybody who would listen: "Please don't let her cut herself. I don't want to have to explain this to the doctors, EMTs and nurses. I don't want her drunk ass deciding to take revenge on me by saying I did it."
Thankfully, she winds up in a sitting position on the sidewalk holding the knife up and it was clean. Thank god for small miracles. She starts crying and, other moment of clarity, I know she's gonna turn the knife on herself now. I jump towards her and I realize I was right, the knife starts moving towards her left wrist. I tackle her, grab her right wrist and twist it so she drops the knife. I pick the knife back up and put it in my pocket. She looks at me crying and says: "Why did you stop me?"
I pick her up and take her back to my building. In my building there was a couch in the lobby, so I take her there and I sit her down and plop myself next to her. I look at her and wonder out loud: "What am I gonna do with you? What can I do?"
She goes: "Just let me go, I'll be good." I tell her that's not going to happen. I realize I have three options and I give her the three options.
"So here's the choice I give you.
1- I pull out my phone, call 911 and tell them about the attempted murder back there and they send the police to arrest you. I don't want to do that because that could derail your life and not get you the help you need. Besides, they might not do anything anyway as it's your word against mine.
2= I pull out my phone, call 911 and tell them about the attempted suicide back there and that you need to be placed on a 72 hour hold. I could do that, but at the same time, again it's my word against yours, so maybe they don't believe me.
3- I'm gonna hazard a guess here. From what I've seen, you have alcohol problems. So I'm gonna guess you were in AA, had been sober for a while, I want to say 6 months, maybe less, when we met."
She confirms my guess.
"alright so option 3, I'm guessing you had a sponsor in AA." she nods "we call them up and tell them about your relapse and what happened this morning. Can they come get you and take care of you?"
She takes her phone out and picks a contact and calls. She hands me the phone. Someone answers and I explain the situation. They said they were coming right away. I give them my address, they get here 15 minutes later. Maryse had fallen asleep in the meantime, so I wake her up gently and help her to the car. Off she went.
I went back to my apartment and just crashed back to sleep.
A month later
Mid-january, my phone rings and I see Maryse's number on there. I send her to voice mail. Another call. Voicemail again. 5 minutes later, Private number calling. "Gee I wonder who that could be." Voicemail once more.
Afterwards, I didn't get any unidentified callers for a little over a week. One afternoon, I was at work and my phone rings and it's a number I do not recognize. I pick up.
"Hello."
"Hi, is this Guy?"
"Yes, to whom am I speaking?"
"This is Hannah, Maryse's sponsor. we spoke last month." I started fearing the worst.
"Yes, I remember. How can I help you?"
"Maryse tried to reach you last week and you rejected the calls. I think it could help Maryse if you listened to what she had to say. You're obviously not obligated to entertain her, but I think despite everything that happened, you still care about her or you would not have called me that morning."
"You are right, I do still care about Maryse. I'm just not sure how good it would be for her to meet me this soon after everything that happened. I understand wanting to work through the 9th step and making amends, but..." She interrupts me.
"So you know about the steps."
"Yes I have friends in the program. which is how I could guess that she was in the program too that morning."
"You know it's important."
"I know. I know. How about this: we meet in public at a cafe, you would have to be there. Not necessarily at the table with us, but nearby in case she needs help, in case meeting me causes her pain. Tell her I promise to be in a more receptive mood than I was that morning."
So we make an appointment for that saturday afternoon.
I get to the coffee shop. She's already there, and so is her sponsor. I realize happily that she's not wearing makeup. I say happily because that means she understands that this is not a date, but something serious. She's still stunningly beautiful, and I feel sad almost right away.
I grab a coffee and go join her at the table.
"Hey" I say,
"Hey. So this is gonna be uncomfortable, but thank you for agreeing to meet me and for coming, I appreciate it more than you know. I'm sure you heard I quit the store."
"I have, I'm sorry about that, I hope you didn't do it just because of me."
"No, I needed time to focus on myself for now."
She proceeds to tell me about how I wasn't far off with my guess. She had been sober 4 months when we met. Now she had 39 days. She tells me that in AA, if you are single, they recommend not dating anyone new for at least the first year of your sobriety as it can cause issues, similar to what happened with us. I was like her "drug" and as long as I was available, she could get her fix. But the moment I wasn't available all hell broke loose, and that is what led her back to drinking that day.
I told her I'm glad to see her back sober again this quickly and I hope she can get all the help she needs from it. I ask her if she wants to talk to me about her drinking.
She starts to share a story about how she started drinking at around 11 years old. When puberty hit her, she got into a deep depression because the sexual feelings she was starting to feel were triggering responses. As a child she had been abused by two of her uncles repeatedly and her parents never believed her. They accused her of trying to make herself interesting. That was until they caught one of those uncles red-handed.
They finally believed and took the necessary steps to protect their daughter. But they were poor and they couldn't afford therapy. So she never really got help for it. At 11, she started self medicating the depression with alcohol. When alcohol wasn't enough, she added drugs.
At that point, I was full on crying. She asked me if I wanted her to stop. I told her that she doesn't have to stop. That the tears are there because that was one more thing we had in common. I was also a survivor of sexual assault as a child. In my case, it wasn't a family member, it was only a stranger, so it only happened once. But I also self-medicated with alcohol at the onset of puberty, switching to drugs later on too. I was lucky to avoid the pitfalls of addiction, but I was still dealing with my demons, slowly making peace with them.
So there we were, sitting at a coffee shop, both crying and holding each other. I tell her that I think it's great she's getting help for her alcoholism and addicion, but was she doing anything to help with the underlying issue, the original trauma? She said no, she couldn't afford therapy. I tell her that I am a member of a survivors group and if she is interested, I could get her into a meeting and perhaps learn to heal that part of herself too.
She said that she could give it a try. I tell her I have to talk to the other members to know if I can bring someone new and I would let her know. If they said yes, we would go to her first meeting together, I would introduce her and then we would coordinate so that I never went to meetings where she was. I wanted to do that because I wanted her first few meetings to be about healing and I didn't want our own history to be intertwined or mixed in with that.
After that, we left both feeling content and, while not necesarily happy, at peace if you will. Later on, I contacted Stephanie who was one of the "pillars" of the support group (that's how we met) to ask her if it was okay for me to bring in a new member to the group. She said sure. She asked if it was anyone she knew. I told her she would have to meet her at the meeting if she decides to come.
We were having a meeting the following day. I called Maryse, told her the time and place, and she said she would be there. She came to the group meeting and was shocked to see Stephanie there but Stephanie kinda guessed that it was Maryse I was referring to.
I introduce her, we start sharing stories, talking about how we're feeling, etc. The meeting was good and Maryse liked the vibe. So for the first six months after that, I never saw Maryse and we planned which meeting we would be attending to ensure we didn't cross paths. She started feeling much better.
After maybe 2 and a half years, she finally felt ready and she started dating again. She met someone and she fell for him. They were together for about six months, she looked happy. Unfortunately after about six months, she caught him cheating on her. We tried supporting her, being good friends, cursing his name, doing all the things we could to make sure she didn't relapse. But on April 5th 2014, she ODed on heroin. She was hospitalized for 2 weeks after that.
Hannah took her in and she set up a room for Maryse. She was still in a fragile state, so a group of her friends and I started taking turns watching over Maryse, making sure there was always at least one person there with her to keep her company.
Despite our vigilance, on May 14th 2014, when Hannah was out running a quick errand, she was gone maybe 15 minutes tops, Maryse found a way to cut her wrists and she died. We found a note saying that "the OD was not an accident, and neither was that. Thanks for everything you did for me. I love you all, but I can't do this anymore."
It feels good to write that story (I'll just ignore the fat tears rolling down my face!). Thanks for reading this far and sorry for the long story, I just started writing and couldn't stop. I apologize if it was a bit of a bummer.

Hello OKOP empire. Thank you for taking time to read this. it will be long but on to my story.
So I'm going to give background of the beginning of my life. It was my determining factor of why I didn't want anything to do with her. Names I use are not their real names.
When I was conceived my Bio mom (we'll call her Sally (17F) ) already had a little girl my bio half sis (call her Chrissy (1F) ) Chrissy would go to our babysitters house ( call her Jenny (34F) ) while Sally went to school. When bio Grandma (Call her Karen, don't know how old she was at that time) found out Sally was Pregnant with me, She was furious, According to my Bio Aunt (Deny (14F) ) Karen almost killed us. Deny said she had to step in and stop Karen from hitting Sally even more after she threw her down the stairs. After her rage subsided she took Sally and Chrissy to an apartment and said you want to be sleuthing around your old enough to live on your own. Sally kept trying to go to school as she dropped off Chrissy at Jenny's, then would go to a job and try to make things work.
Time goes on and I am born, I then started going to Jenny's as well sometimes spending the night with Chrissy as well at times.
Now Jenny was Babysitting in the day, EMT at night and did foster care with her husband Lee (38M). his job was teaching Spanish. Super hero's in my eyes FR.
After that month Jenny said she had not seen me and Chrissy for about 2 weeks. She got a call from social services asking her to go to Sally's apartment to check on her and the children. Jenny wasted no time at all grabbed her bag as her son (Josh (10M) ) asked to go with she said sure.
Jenny went up too the apartment door and knocked, with no answer but as they stood outside she could hear kids crying inside but still no one came to answer the door. She went and got the manager of the apartment complex and asked him to open Sally's door. But she had to call the cops and paramedics to come out before he could open the door. they had to stay outside for about 20 Mins for the emergency services to show. They finally get the door open and see Sally on the couch unresponsive. Jenny went to the bedroom door as one of the police officers had to break it down due to it being locked. I was only around 2 months old and Chrissy at this point was almost two years old and didn't know how to open doors at that time. So Josh went in with Jenny, seeing Chrissy trying to feed me a bottle that was filled with curdled milk. Josh looked at Jenny and said mom she looks dead referencing me. They rushed us to the hospital and found that Sally was alcohol poisoned and I was very dehydrated, underweight, eyes sunken into my sockets. Doctor told Jenny if i were not able to gain weight in 3 days i would be in ICU for failure to thrive ( basically all organs start to shut down and would basically be dying). Chrissy and I were put into Jenny's foster home that night. Jenny took us home and feed me close to 8-8oz bottles. she said it was the most amazing thing as i ate my skin turned back to a pinkish color my eyes came out and my body started filling out, never throwing up a drop.
Time goes on and we were put into the fosteadopt program. Karen wanted Chrissy but did not want me. She ended up taking Chrissy without finalizing papers with the court, taking off to another state.
I was a little over 2 yrs old when Jenny and Lee official adopted me. Now she was my mom and he my dad giving me 5 brothers and 1 sister. Big family I know
I was 6 yrs old when we had ready a weekly reader on adoption in school. A lot of what they were saying in it with how adoptees feel is exactly how I felt, also as my family would be talking about who got what from which parent. I asked who's eyes did I have and my mom would answer you have your mothers eyes. I got very confused about that then we read that weekly reader. So many questions had swirled in my mind. One day as my mom and I are walking into a Wal-Mart crossing the front where the cross walk is as I'm holding her hand, I asked her mom am I adopted? She looked at me with a pause and said well yeah you are in a more concerned voice then any other emotion. I didn't ask anymore questions for a few days, but one night I walked into my parents room and asked why did my family give me up and all my mom said was god meant for us to have you. I then asked if i had any sisters or brothers and she told me about Chrissy. Being so little I couldn't really deal with the thought of someone just threw me away and felt like I did something wrong and that's why my bio family didn't want me.
As I get older with a year or two in between i would keep going to my mom asking more questions. Now you remember my parents also did foster care as well and I would hear and comprehend at around 12 of the children coming to my home for things and they would tell me of there horrifying story of how they ended up in the system. A lot of them were horrible stories and I couldn't understand how a parent do something as bad as they did to their own children.
When I was Fourteen I went to my mom where my brother Josh was talking with her about something and said ok mom I am old enough to know what exactly what happened to me cause I deserve to know my story. I saw my brother and her share this look of like hey its time she should know kinda face. She then proceeded to tell me the whole story minus what i wrote about Karen and Sally bit cause she did not know about that. Deny is the one that filled me in about that. Deny was the one to call in with concerns about us that day my life was saved, to social services.
I spent many days with free time in computer class looking so hard for my half sister after that but since it was still so new at that point I could not find much out about anyone.
More time goes on and I was around 26 yrs old and I do a little google search looking for Sally sue to her being the only way i could possibly find my half sister. I had found a birth certificate that I had a very strong feeling that it was Sally's, A couple months go bye with no other hits and one day i see i have two message requests on FB one from Deny which she began by giving info about me where we lived and just personal info that no one else would of known except for the ones involved. i had another from Chrissy who was saying basically the same thing. I went numb. from the top of my head to the tip of my toes i felt like electricity was vibrating my body. I asked my husband what he thought he said its up to you love what ever you want to do i'm hear for you. so i begin to type and we had gotten to know each other. i went to their state and met them also met Karen. didn't really care for that but was told Sally was telling Chrissy and Deny to find me that was top priority to her for some odd reason. but anyway they asked if i would want to meet her, i answered im not sure im up for that yet.
I get back home after a 2 week visit and I was being asked many times to meet or at least talk with Sally. I finally said no i'd rather not cause i already have a wonderful loving mother and i rather not go down that road with Sally cause i couldn't get over her just leaving. Jenny gave permission for Sally to visit or send me letters as i grew as much as she wanted but she never sent anything or called. my adoption was an open/closed adoption. meaning Sally could contact me anytime and visit me where it was closed for the Bio father who was never in the picture. But Chrissy/Deny and I had a huge fight about it and are no longer in contact. its better cause it was a very toxic family and id rather leave the toxins out of my life.
So guys was I the AH for not wanting to meet/talk to Sally???
​

8 garbage bags of clothes, shoes, bags, artificial flowers, fabric, and yarn. 2/3 full for weight. BYE. (and half a dozen coats went to the dry cleaning coat drive!)
5 boxes half the size of a ream of paper, filled with books. Good riddance, field I never want to study again and books I didn't like!
Weeded a bunch of other things I need "approval" to get rid of but they're someone else's problem now.
Now to start using up craft supplies and wearing through clothes. And to planning a future!

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hey i am 15 soon 16. i am a level one autistik teen. and was diagnoised about 3 years ago.
me and my parenst are going on a trip un wensday. we are traveling to london, harry potter land for my 16 birthday.
i was earlier today talking with my mom about getting the help that i need, or i fell like i need, i hve a hared time exspresstion my self even more in uncomfterbale situations like overstimulating situations.
please understand this diagnoices is new to both me and my parents, and we dont get the best help in understanding where i am from. and that i love my parents waryy much
but when i tryed to ask my mom about packing a autism bac, accessebilety bag, and how you can get help in airlines when you are atusitck, which for me is wary hard, both explaning and asking for help.
my mothers response was tho she said she would try her best to make a autistik bag for me... was that "your not that autistik" this is somthing my parents have told me before.. i have also heard the phraise you are not autistik enugh.
and what i am really asking is help to explain to my mom how that made me fell.. how hurt i felt, and also try to understand what she was saying, what she ment bye thoes words. and since it is wary hard for me to talk to my parents about these things. i hoped maby you guess could help me
thabk you, have a wonderful day

Special thanks to u/SpacePaladin15 for creating the NoP universe.
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I'd also like to thank u/xskipy10 for their awesome fanart of the main cast as well as their recent Tohba meme and their fanart of Michael baysitting. You're work is a treasure!
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Thank you as well to u/Accomplished-Golf-59 for his take on Michael, Teylim, and Tohba in his submission for the Banner Art Contest, and u/Spacer_Catgirl4969 for their awesome music video featuring a pixel-art Dohkar in his bar. Be sure to give ALL of these awesome creators your love and support.
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And let's not forget u/Guywhoexists2812 who has been an awesome source of memes as well as sick pixel art, such as THIS and THIS!!!! And even THIS!!!!!! And how could I forget THIS!!!!!!!!!! Thank you so much!
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Today, we join Khornel and Michael as they prepare for yet another protest show as they continue the fight against those abusing their power. LETTUCE...conclude...for now...
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First
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Previous
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Songs Mentioned/Used: Gives You Hell by The All American Rejects
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Memory Transcript Subject: Khornel, Krakotl Talent Manager Date:[Standardized Human Time] February 2, 2137
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Aaaand DONE!
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I turned my head from side to side, inspecting my handiwork. While I still wasn’t QUITE as good at it as Ms. Teylim, touching up my feather dye was becoming easier and easier with practice. I’d even experimented a bit this time, and I was really liking how it turned out.
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If only this crappy mirror wasn’t so smudgy.
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Regardless of the state of the motel’s bathroom mirror, I was satisfied with the way I looked. My blue and newly touched up orange feathers were complimenting each other perfectly. And the slight hint of pink along the border definitely helped the whole spectrum of colors come together.
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Perfect.
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Once I was out of the bathroom, I sat down on the bed I was sharing and went through my bag to make sure I had everything.
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Pad? Check!
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Client contracts? Check!
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Pens? Check!
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Extra pair of glasses in case he forgets…again…
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Check!
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Credits for the fare? Eeeehhh, we can walk.
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Other than that though, I had everything.
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“Hey… Khorry?”
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My crest perked up at the voice. I turned around to see Scolina working at the small table in the kitchen area.
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“Yeah? What’s up?”
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“Sorry… I know you’re about to leave, but could you…help me with this?”
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I gave her a reassuring smile as I came over. Looking at the page she was working on, it seemed she’d gotten stuck on one of the problems for her math courses. Since she hadn’t received any education in the facility, she had a lot to catch up on, especially considering she was only a cycle younger than me.
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“Oh, I see the problem. You were right to divide both sides of the equation here, but the problem is when you tried, you accidentally wrote the fraction upside down. Since you’re dividing the zero by something else, it should be on top.”
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“So when I accidentally put it on the bottom-“
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“You created an irrational loop because-“
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“You can’t divide by zero.”
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Scolina cradled her head in her paws, continuing to stare down at her homework.
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“Thanks, Khorry. Sorry I’m so dumb.”
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“Hey! Don’t you ever say that about yourself! You’re not dumb, ‘Lina. You’re just behind, and that isn’t your fault.”
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“But…but I-“
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“Listen, if I had a credit for every time I made a dumb mistake in just these past few months alone, we wouldn’t need to live here. Making mistakes doesn’t make you dumb, it just means you’re learning.”
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She sniffled a bit before wiping away at her with her arm, the small pink sleeve that covered her scar soaking up any tears that were forming.
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“Thanks, Khorry.”
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I bent down and draped my wings around my sister, giving her a nice warm hug. After everything, while she DID have a very touching reunion with her father, the absence of her mother and the introduction of Trivah, Dailo, and Trilly was a bit too much change to deal with all at once.
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So we all decided that she’d stay with us for now until she’d adjusted a bit. It was odd at first, to be sure, but I liked having her here. Grandfather adored her and I had to admit, having a little sister, at least unofficially, was something I was definitely warming up to.
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“Always happy to help. Now, I’ll be working late tonight so be sure to get both yourself and grandfather to bed at a decent time, alright?”
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“Okay. Bye-bye, Khorry.”
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“Bye-bye, hatchling.”
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I ran my beak through her head fur, preening out a small tangle and freeing a spine that was loose. Once I’d disposed of it, I turned to head out the door, but not before stopping at the other bed, where Grandfather was sat, listening to the radio. His expression instantly brightened as he heard me coming.
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“Off to change the world again, Little ‘Nel?”
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“I’m gonna try.”
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“I know you will.”
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I knelt down and gave him his hug as well. I missed this. After so long without him, every hug was a nostalgic treasure.
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“And I’m not little anymore!”
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“Perhaps not, but you’ll always be MY Little ‘Nel.”
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“I know, Grandfather. I’ll be sure to make you proud out there.”
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“You already do, my child. Now go. And be sure to tell that future Grandson-in-law of mine to run a comb through his head fur from time to time. I can’t even see and I can tell how scruffy he looks.”
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I pulled away as felt my face turn warm, adding a splash of purple to the spectrum of color on my face.
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“It’s not like that! WE’RE not like that! …Not yet, anyways…”
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“Well, then tell him to hurry it up already! I want great grandpups before I die!”
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CAW! CRAW!
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“GRRRRGH!! NOPE! Not having this conversation! Goodbye! Love you!”
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“Love you too! Best of luck today!”
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“Bye-bye, Khorry!”
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I barely heard the taunts of my family behind me as I stomped out the door and slammed it. After taking a moment to settle my feathers back down, I walked down the hall to the next door over.
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Knock knock knock!
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“It’s open!”
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My mood instantly brightened from the kind, muffled, voice inside the room. I opened the door and was immediately greeted by the sight of Ms. Teylim making a meal, along with her adorable hatchling excitedly bouncing in his high chair.
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“Khornel, dear!”
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“NEWWY!!!”
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I walked over at a brisk pace before kneeling down to give them both hugs.
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“Where’s Michael?”
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“He should be-“
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SLAM!!!
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“Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Lost track of time!”
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I couldn’t help but roll my eyes as my scatterbrained best friend and business partner sprinted into the kitchen area and quickly grabbed a slice of strayu from the table.
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“You ALWAYS lose track of time!”
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As much as I wanted to scold him for not being ready by the time I got here AGAIN, we didn’t have the time.
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“Let’s just get moving before we’re late.”
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“Right! Let’s go!”
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However, just as we were about to leave…
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“Ahem. Forgetting something, my joey?”
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Michael looked up for a moment and frantically began checking his pockets before looking back at Ms. Teylim. Her smug look said it all. After a quick facepalm, he immediately jogged back to the kitchen area and knelt down to give her a goodbye hug, as well as a peck on the cheek for good measure. Lucky…
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“Muah! Bye, Ma! Love you!”
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“Be careful!”
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“We will!”
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Once he broke free from the hug, he made one last side trip to Tohba’s high chair, already going to plant a kiss on the top of his head. Again, lucky…
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“MIKEY!”
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“Mmmmmmm-“
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“HEEHYEHAHAHA! TICKWES!!”
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“-mmmMUAH! Bye-bye, Bud! ¡Te amo!”
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“BYE-BYE, MIKEY!!”
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With his goodbye hugs and kisses out of the way he made his way over to me…
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My turn?!
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…Only to run right past me and out the door.
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Awwwe… Phooey…
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Dejected as I was, I chased after him and down the hall.
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“What?! I don’t get a kiss, too?!”
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“Buy me dinner first, Bird Brain!”
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“UGH!! You’re the WORST!!”
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Memory Transcript Subject: Dohkar, Venlil Militia Leader Date:[Standardized Human Time] February 2, 2137
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“COMMANDER ON DECK!”
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STOMP!
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My four brothers stood in a line in front of the bar, still as statues as I came down the stairs. I still wasn’t sure how to feel about most of them. While I left, they all stayed, and continued fighting for The Guild even when they knew what they were doing was wrong.
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Still, I knew these men. They all trained with me, ate with me, stood by me…grew up with me, and now, they stood here, ready to fight with me. While I could never forgive them for standing by while the people I loved suffered, I am willing to let them prove they’re willing to change.
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“At ease.”
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I marched in front of them, inspecting each to make sure their garb and gear was in order. In some ways, it resembled their old Guild uniforms minus any actual environmental protection. However, instead of chrome, we wore the same white coloration of the APCs that had broken through the Guild Offices walls. Black boots, gloves and bandoliers offset the white of our suits. And finally, five stripes of bright, blazing, blue accented our new badges, reminiscent of not only the blue helmets of the UN troops that fought by our sides, but also the eyes of a particular human musician, one I was looking forward to hearing sing again.
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“Alright men, in order for this rally to go smoothly, we need to be on our guard. My most recent talks with Tevis didn’t go quite as well as I’d hoped, but I did manage to get him to leave us be for the most part. While we WILL still have to deal with the Interim Guard being there, they won’t be coming nearly as armed or numerous as usual. They’re simply there to observe, nothing more. Keep your eyes on them, but don’t do anything rash, or let any of the civilians do so either.”
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I turned and marched down the line once more. While I was itching to move onto individual orders, there was the Mazik in the room to address.
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“Now, I know many of us are shaken by news of the archives on Talsk. Believe me, I am too, but that’s all the more reason for us to stay vigilant. The people are afraid, confused, and questioning everything. The Magistrate, on top of their normal nonsense, will be that much more desperate to keep control. It is our job to be the barrier between the people we serve, and those willing to use this crisis to exploit them. There will come a time to rest and collect our thoughts, but now is not that time. The people need us. This town needs us, and until that is no longer the case, we MUST remain strong.”
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“SIR!”
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Once I was at the end of the line again, I turned back around and began giving out individual orders, starting with-
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“Bennic, out of everyone else in the squad, you’re currently the one with the best rapport with the people. I’m having you in charge of evacuation in case something goes wrong. Keep your eyes peeled for escape routes and be ready to begin herding everyone together at a moment’s notice.”
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“Yes, sir.”
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Next in line was Abra, our weapon specialist. Out of everyone, he was our best shot, even better than me. But he ALSO had one of the itchiest flamer fingers among us as well.”
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“Abra, have you already made sure everyone’s gear is working properly?”
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“Yes, sir. Every sidearm, baton, and smoke bomb we have is cleaned, checked, and functional.”
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“Good, then I just want you to stay vigilant. Find some higher ground and keep an extra close eye on the Interim. The moment one of them tries something funny, I want to know.”
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“And if they try harming the civilians?”
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I furrowed my brow at him. I knew what he was getting at.
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“Aim for NON-lethal, and make sure you have proof that THEY were the aggressors first.”
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He gave a dejected chuff before responding.
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“Yes, sir…”
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What am I going to do with you, little brother?
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Next was Ento, probably the only other Yotul here in town other than Teylim and Tohba, were they still here.
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“Ento, were you able to make your last diagnostics check on the sound equipment last paw.”
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“Yep! Everything on our end was working perfectly last I checked. We’ll still have to wait until they try connecting to know for sure, though.”
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“Do everything you can to make sure it works. Leave the Interim and civilians to us.”
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“Yes, sir!”
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Finally, there was our medic, Canuck. Besides Bennic, this Zurulian was probably the one I was closest with growing up, if only because I’d always get the brunt of Albiel’s punishments when I’d stand up for the others, and it was usually Canuck patching me up.
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“Canuck, in the case of an emergency, I want you to return to Dr. Forrik’s clinic. Since he’s still caring for his wife, I need you there getting everything ready in case something happens.”
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“You sure you lot will be alright without me there?”
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“We’ll be fine. The clinic will need you more than we will.”
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“Yes, sir.”
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With one last turn, I inspected my squad one last time.
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“One last question.”
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“What is it, Ben?”
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“What about our…junior recruit?”
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I sighed and looked back towards the staircase leading upstairs, just in time to catch a pair of suspiciously Nevok-shaped ears dip back from around the corner. I made sure to speak loud enough for him to hear me.
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“He is to stay here and hold the fort. And he should bear in mind, I don’t just let ANYONE watch over MY bar. This is a large responsibility I’m trusting him with, and I trust he won’t let me down.”
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The ears reappeared and solemnly nodded before retreating back up the stairs. Once I was sure my point was made, I turned back to my squad.
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“Alright, if that’s all, we’ve got protestors to escort! Let’s move out!”
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“SIR!”
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Memory Transcript Subject: Khornel, Krakotl Talent Manager Date:[Standardized Human Time] February 2, 2137
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The Soulroot tram station was surprisingly bustling. I half-expected the place to be a ghost town like most places were after Cilani’s interview. But with the news breaking about the Farsul’s archives breaking, it seemed the people of Soulroot were out and about more than ever, either flocking to the many churches and chapels in the area, or simply deciding to pray at the Soulroot itself for answers…any answers.
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“Damn. I always forget just how big that thing is.”
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Speak of the devil…
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We both gazed out the window of the tram car as it passed through the massive central park area of the city. In its exact center, dwarfing even the buildings surrounding the large, wooded park, was the city’s namesake: Kihri, The Soulroot. One of five massive Seraphim Trees spread across Venlil Prime.
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“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?”
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“Yeah. I can’t believe it was so close. I would’ve loved to have visited here.”
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“Maybe we will when we have time.”
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“I hope so.”
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Once we passed the park, we turned back around and returned to our pads. He was working on another instrumental while I decided to pull up our current client list. I suddenly remembered something as soon as the list loaded and I saw the newest addition.
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“Oh! By the way! I got us a new client!”
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“Oh, sick! Who are they?”
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“A restaurant in the next district over. It’s called The Lackadaisy. It IS an hour-long tram ride there, but it pays well, AND I got us a few perks as well.”
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“OoooOOOoo! Like?”
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“Like us getting to eat AND take out half off on the paws we play there. It might not be dinner, but I’d say half off lunch and take out once a week isn’t half bad.”
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“You da bird, ‘Nel. When do we start?”
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“You are scheduled to play during the lunch rush in two paws. We are to enter through the back entrance and meet with co-owners Sylvon and Kenta.”
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“Sylvon and Kenta. Got it!”
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Now approaching: Five Meadows
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“This is our stop.”
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We knew the tram wouldn’t take us all the way there. The Magistrate’s lockdown had seen to that, but that didn’t mean we couldn’t hang out by the border. In fact, the border that separated Soulroot and Five Meadows had become a popular gathering spot for people from both towns to “voice their displeasure”, which was exactly why we were here. With the lockdown of Five Meadows in effect, the war still ongoing, and the news of archives now made public, the people’s opinion of the local Magistrate was at an all time low. It was time to take advantage of that.
​
Once we exited the tram and saw crowds growing on both sides of the fence separating us from our home, we immediately spotted the makeshift soundstage we’d be using, as well as several figures on the other side garbed in white. They only got clearer once we got closer. Michael was even more excited to see them as I was.
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“Heya Dohk!”
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Dohkar, dressed in the new uniform of the Five Meadows Militia, greeted us with a warm smile, being sure to stay a decent distance away for the electric fence.
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“Mike, Feathers, it’s good to see you two are alright.”
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“Likewise, nice duds by the way. Totally doesn’t make you look like an oompa loompa or anything.”
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“Watch it, Ape. I’ll have you know it was Trivah who made these.”
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“Shit! Is she alright?”
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“She’s fully recovered and here with her family. You’ll forgive me if I don’t call them over. The last thing I want is Trilly and Dailo trying to get through this fence.”
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“No worries. Just tell them I said hi.”
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A yotul garbed in the same uniform ran up to Dohkar and greeted us with a nod.
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“Everything’s set up, you two. Once you're connected, let me know and we’ll do a sound check.”
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“Right!”
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Memory Transcript Subject: Michael Ruiz Andrews, Human Street Musician Date:[Standardized Human Time] February 2, 2137
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Breathe…focus…
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Sometimes…I wonder if it was all worth it…
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Breathe…focus…
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In a lot of ways, life was the same as it was back on Earth. Here I was, stuck in a shitty apartment, well…motel room now, I guess. I still had a shitty landlord that hated my guts. I was still struggling to make ends meet, playing music I wasn’t all that crazy about for people I wasn’t all that crazy about. I still didn’t have any real direction to take my life in, or any real plans for the future. So…was it worth it?
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Breathe…focus…
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I’d lost almost everything I had. I lost my guitar, the only real thing I had to remind me of Dad, and everything he taught me. I lost pretty much all of my possessions. Hell, the only reason I had new clothes to use at all was thanks to the human embassy here in Soulroot. I lost my home a second time, just days after finally bringing myself to start calling it that. I even almost lost my life. My scar still itches from time to time just thinking about it. So…was it really worth it? Remembering all the pain, suffering, heartache, and loss I’d been through in these past few months, sometimes I really question it.
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Breathe…focus…
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But then…then I remember the GOOD times. I remember all the people I’ve met, all the songs and memories we’ve made together.
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Breathe…focus…
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I remember meeting Mom, and my baby brother. I remember singing for them for the first time. I remember sitting and eating breakfast with them, talking and laughing the early hours away. I remember watching Tohba and teaching him how to sing, just like Dad taught me. I remember meeting Dohk, his honest words and advice keeping me grounded when the world around me just didn’t make sense. I remember meeting ‘Nel, slowly but surely building a friendship and trust that I wouldn’t give for anything.
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Hopefully she puts up with me long enough for me to finally be ready.
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I remember all the strife and challenges I’ve gone through, knowing that I wasn’t alone for any of it. I remember all the things I’ve gained: A life, a family, a mentor, a partner…
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A home…
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Breathe…focus…
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A home worth fighting for.
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Breathe…focus…
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A home worth living for.
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Breathe…focus…
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A home…worth playing for…
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So breathe…focus…and play…
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The speakers come to life with a chill beat, soft snares and shakers keeping the pace as the ambience builds. A triangle marks my entrance as I take over, plucking at Teyrin’s strings. I nod along with the bouncing melody, letting myself get into it. I see a few in the crowd begin swaying along as I begin to let my soul sing.
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I wake up every evenin’…with a big smile on my face! And it never feels out of place!
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It’s hard to not grin as I speak, letting the notes express my current mood perfectly. I make sure to give those Interim jerks guarding the border a smug look which they definitely don’t appreciate.
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And you’re still probably workin’…at a nine-to-five pace! I wonder how bad that tastes!
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When you see my face, hope it gives you hell, hope it gives you hell!
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When you walk my way, hope it gives you hell, hope it gives yooou hell!
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I turn to ‘Nel, standing up on stage singing next to me. There’s no one I’d rather be up here with.
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Now, where’s your picket fence, Love? And where’s that shiny car? Did it ever get you far?
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You never seemed so dense, Love! I’ve never seen you fall so hard! Do you know where you are?
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When I’m up here…and I think about my old life on Earth…
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And truth be told, I miss you… (Miss you…)
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And truth be told, I’M LYIN’!!!
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We turn to the closest Interim chump keeping us from our home.
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WHEN YOU SEE MY FACE, HOPE IT GIVES YOU HELL! HOPE IT GIVES YOU HELL!
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WHEN YOU WALK MY WAY, HOPE IT GIVES YOU HELL! HOPE IT GIVES YOOOU HELL!
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WHEN YOU FIND A MAN THAT’S WORTH A DAMN AND TREATS YOU WELL!
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THEN HE’S THE FOOL, YOU’RE JUST AS WELL! HOPE IT GIVES YOOOU HELL!
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I hope it gives you hell!
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Memory Transcript Subject: Jerrick, Nevok Fugitive Date:[Standardized Human Time] February 2, 2137
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The mood of the song calmed for a moment. I watched the live broadcast just hoping nothing would happen. Everything going on was just so CRAZY. With the raid, the Magistrate taking over, and now the archives, it just made everything I did in the name of The Guild even more pointless.
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Tomorrow, you’ll be thinkin’ to yourself, “Yeah, where did it all go wrong?” But the list goes on and on!
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Everything I did for HIM…pointless…
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And truth be told, I miss you… (Miss you…)
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And truth be told, I’M LYIN’!!!
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I hope you rot, Father…
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WHEN YOU SEE MY FACE, HOPE IT GIVES YOU HELL! HOPE IT GIVES YOU HELL!
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WHEN YOU WALK MY WAY, HOPE IT GIVES YOU HELL! HOPE IT GIVES YOOOU HELL!
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WHEN YOU FIND A MAN THAT’S WORTH A DAMN AND TREATS YOU WELL!
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THEN HE’S THE FOOL, YOU’RE JUST AS WELL! HOPE IT GIVES YOOOU HELL!
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Memory Transcript Subject: Michael Ruiz Andrews, Human Street Musician Date:[Standardized Human Time] February 2, 2137
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A figure stands in my periphery… I know who she is…
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Now you’ll never see! What you’ve done to me!
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She’s not my mother…
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You can take back your memories, they’re no good to me!
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“You’ll never be rid of me, Blue.” I know…
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You can hiss all your lies! You can look me in the eyes!
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With that sad, sad, look that you wear so well!
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But that just means you get to watch as I live my life without you in it.
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[Warning!: You Are About To Access Restricted Files: Continue?: Y/N…]
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[The Following Is A News Broadcast Archived By Magistrate Intelligence…]
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[The camera opens on a female, human, reporter with green eyes standing in front of an energetic crowd…]
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“WHEN YOU SEE MY FACE, HOPE IT GIVES YOU HELL!!! HOPE IT GIVES YOU HELL!!!”
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“AS YOU CAN SEE BEHIND ME, THE “FREE FIVE MEADOWS” RALLY IS WELL UNDER WAY!”
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“WHEN YOU WALK MY WAY, HOPE IT GIVES YOU HELL!!! HOPE IT GIVES YOU HELL!!!”
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“AND YOU CAN JUST FEEL THE ENERGY OF THE CROWD HERE!”
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“WHEN YOU FIND A MAN THAT’S WORTH A DAMN AND TREATS YOU WELL!!!”
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“ON THE FAR SIDE OF THE FENCE, IT APPEARS THAT THE RUMORED “FIVE MEADOWS MILITIA” ARE ACTUALLY HERE GUARDING THE PROTESTORS!”
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“THEN HE’S THE FOOL!!! YOU’RE JUST AS WELL!!! HOPE IT GIVES YOU HELL!!!”
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“HOPEFULLY, WE’LL BE ABLE TO GET AN INTERVIEW! UNTIL THEN, JUST LISTEN TO THIS!!!”
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Memory Transcript Subject: Michael Ruiz Andrews, Human Street Musician Date:[Standardized Human Time] February 2, 2137
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Breathe…focus…and ROAR!!!
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To my old life on Earth!
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WHEN YOU SEE MY FACE, HOPE IT GIVES YOU HELL! HOPE IT GIVES YOU HELL!
“GIVES YOU HELL!!!”
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To the Federation killing my people!
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WHEN YOU WALK MY WAY, HOPE IT GIVES YOU HELL! HOPE IT GIVES YOOOU HELL!
“GIVES YOU HELL!!!”
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To the Magistrate holding my hometown hostage!
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WHEN YOU HEAR THIS SONG AND SING ALONG, THOUGH YOU’LL NEVER TELL!
“YOU’LL NEVER TELL!!!”
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To every last asshole who thinks I’m a monster for what I am!
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THEN YOU’RE THE FOOL, I’M JUST AS WELL! HOPE IT GIVES YOOOU HELL!
“GIVES YOU HELL!!!”
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To that monster who took my mom, rotting in whatever cell he’s being held in.
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WHEN YOU HEAR THIS SONG, I HOPE THAT IT WILL GIVE YOU HELL!
“GIVE YOU HELL!!!”
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And lastly, to that figure, that voice in my head telling me I don’t deserve a home…
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YOU CAN SING ALONG! I HOPE THAT IT PUTS YOU THROUGH HELL…
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The End