Local sex tonight

Hi all. I had a SA on May 22nd. I survived the weekend which had the worst symptoms of it all (nauseous, extreme sadness and crying, bleeding, cramping). I am on the mend to feeling better. The bleeding is intermittent and somewhat light now. I want to have sex tomorrow. I wondered if I could use a boric acid suppository tonight? pH from bleeding usually gives me an unpleasant scent and I want to feel good for tomorrow. Any ideas? Thank you!

M46, can go a week without drinking, only when I have a social reason to drink I get so many beers in and it's hard to stop.
1st day of cutting back yesterday. I had a pre-arranged "virtual beer" with a friend at the other side of the world around lunchtime and just drank beer mixed with sprite, for half the usual alcohol dose I would have drunk (didn't tell him). The conversation went just as fine as normal. Crucially, when the call was over I didn't feel any need to keep going, even put the rest of the drink I had back in the fridge, still in its glass. I was able to function in the afternoon, too, so that was better.
As an expat in a small town, it's difficult to cut ties with drinking buddies because while I have some local friends, it's a big step to cut contact with people from my home country and our culture is so based on drinking together.
We're going out on Friday, and I'm going to do the beer with lemonade thing again, and I'm actually going to have to order it in front of them. I'm not sure how the discussion will go. One genuine reason I can present that would be acceptable in lad culture on a night out would be "hoping to get lucky later tonight." Maybe that one can help other people. I should probably just own it and say I've become a lightweight, though :)
Wish me luck.

So I’ve met 4 potentials since my last post, and while I felt most were great people, it didn’t seem like our energy was a match. Fortunately, I found a new SB, and she’s someone I’ve known for a bit!
Here’s how I tried to filter (any way to improve this?):

1. Locals only, no exceptions. People who have to travel to you are always unreliable in both communication and availability. I’ve seen some who are really hours away and pretend to be local, but that’s a lot of work and a lot of waiting.
   
2. Webcam proof of realness prior to any meeting, or doing anything. Almost all of them balk at this. Great scam prevention technique.
   
3. This one is the most important steps. I pay for 10-panel STD testing. It’s required before any SR starts. That means no PPM/allowance, and definitely no sex until this is done. I actually gave PPM before that, but not anymore because a lot of girls stop responding before the test results come back. I’m guessing the results aren’t great. All but two girls in the last 3 months agreed to testing. Prior to recent searches, I had several disappear after testing, and two come back with unfortunately negative results. 😔
   
4. I try to gauge if they’re cruel or not because I can’t stand mean people. If I take them to a restaurant and they’re mean to the waitewaitress, I gently move on.
   
5. Any sign of playing games and I move on and thank them for their time. Reliability is huge. This one might bite me because sometimes I’m a little impatient after wading through the waters too much.
   

Any way to improve my filtering?
Now for the new SR:

• Known her for 2+ years, but never explored a SR. I brought it up after she made a joke Facebook post about it, and she was open to it.
  
• Exclusive relationship.
  
• Very communicative.
  
• Doesn’t just send pics with no accompanying text, and actually responds. She also didn’t get upset when I was driving across the country and couldn’t give meaningful replies for a few days. I still tried to stop and talk here and there. We talk a lot!
  
• She’s absolutely sweet! You can feel her kindness radiating off her. Two girls that I met recently were both like that.
  
• Very smart, and educated.
  
• Agreed to testing and had results in 2 days! All clear.
  
• Five dates so far. Waiter messed up her order and she wasn’t upset.
  
• I’m on vacation at the moment. She has a kid and asked if he could come. No problem. Flew them out and set them up in a separate hotel room. We went to Universal Studios, and they had a blast. Tomorrow we are going to Disney. Then we are going to the Grand Canyon, Meteor Crater, Mount Rushmore, etc.
  

I don’t want to do more than one SR, so I’m sticking with her and couldn’t be happier. To make things easier for both of us, she’s also been a friend for years!
Thanks for all the folks here who reached out and offered advice.

i’m insecure and afraid of love but willing to risk anyone take advantage of me and my body if it means they might love me. sad when a guy uses me for my body and hurt they wouldn’t want to get to know who i am.
i’m 22f, my weekly routine is school then work 5 days a week. i have two days off so i spend them doing chores and cleaning during the day, and at night i go listen to my favorite cover bands at these local bars/restaurants. i have dealt with a lot emotionally the past couple years so i like to get drunk on my nights off. in my head, im young and work hard im allowed to get drunk. when i get drunk i get flirty with people, and have hooked up with people drunkenly. i dont have a good history of people ive been with they all kinda suck or are loserish? in the nicest way possible lol not saying im not a loser! but anyways, ive always wanted a movie like romance or princess fairytale. i mean what girl hasn’t? you grow up watching these movies about girls finding love and it being magical. i like to get dressed up and get ready to feel beautiful for myself but also so that if tonight is the night i meet the loml, i am ready. i know i sound stupid. i’m not chasing love atm i don’t want to be in a relationship but the idea of finding someone when i least expect it wherever i least expect it still sneaks up on me. i don’t go out with the intentions of talking to men i really don’t and half the time i don’t want to talk to men or end up doing it. but when i do, and i get drunk and hook up with them (bc i have too much anxiety to hook up with anyone sober) and hope maybe they want to continue something with me, even if it was just a friends with benefits situation that again idek why i would want that bc i can’t do that. it’s like my mind is saying i don’t want love or sex or anyone but my heart is saying to stay open and available and maybe the next best guy will look my way. am i making sense? i’m not sure. i’m insecure and hurt when guys want nothing more than a one night stand with me but scared and turned off if they actually like me. what is this how do i fix this?

You just moved into a small town with your partner. You look around the neighborhood, your neighbors wave and say hello. They all introduce themselves. Most of them work at their local small business. They tell you to drop by and check them out. They will give you a house warning discount when you visit their shops. Man this is a very nice town, you say to yourself. You check out the local shops, it has everything you want! From homemade bakery to farm fresh produce and meat.
Only thing you realize it doesn’t have is a gun and ammo store. Oh well, you continue to look around the town. You run into a strange character, you notice she’s carrying a pet in her purse. When she comes closer to her, you realize it’s a fucking chicken! When she speaks, it sounds like she’s singing talking. “Welcome neighbor!” She says excitedly. “My name is Mayor Goodway and welcome to Adventure Bay!”
You two talk for a short while talking about where you and your partner moved from and about yourself a little bit. Before you leave she says; “Tonight we are have a get together! The Paw Patrol will be there. You should really meet them!” Mayor Goodway shakes your hand and walks away. ‘Paw Patrol? Is that some sort of an attraction?’ You blow it off and went to the beach front. You see a 13-14 year old boy with a get up of a futuristic emergency outfit throwing a ball. Than you see 6 dogs in emergency gear. One in an officer uniform, firefighter, recycling, and so on. They all drive their own vehicles!
Not going into much detail, a zombie apocalypse happens! What do you do? Do you think the Paw Patrol can defeat the zombies? A thought that crossed my mind while watching paw patrol with my little ones.

Hi everyone. I was just wondering if anyone has been through this and looking for advice/any POSITIVE experiences since I am extremely nervous and scared. My pregnancy was confirmed non viable today and I am scheduled for a "D&E" tomorrow with my fertility clinic (I put MVA in the title because it sounds like this is what i am having done but my nurse practitioner called it a D&E and I am not sure the difference).
My clinic is having me take misoprostol tonight and tomorrow am. Then, I am taking a valium and 800 mg of ibuprofen about an hour before the procedure.
I was told they don't typically do any local anesthesia but i could ask if I want it.
I am wondering if it's worth it to get that since i have heard that is quite painful as well. I am truly terrified. My NP did say she went through this exact procedure and it was not pleasant but not as bad as she thought it was going to be.
I just feel like on top of the trauma of losing our baby, the anxiety about this procedure is just adding to it and I am truly so scared. Thanks for listening <3

This is a slow week, but there are still 1,900 words or so in this week’s edition of the weekly newsletter I wrote about what’s coming up in meetings of regional and local government. I then post a version for Charlottesville in the hopes of getting people interested in topics.
This week:
FORM-BASED CODE
In late 2018, Albemarle Supervisors adopted a Small Area Plan for the 29 / Rio area. Within the next year, they also adopted a new set of building rules known as a “form based code” that was intended to provide incentives to developers to build more of an urban form with taller mixed-use buildings. That’s not really turned out as planned, with most new development being fairly consistent with the 20th century suburban sprawl form. For instance, the small area plan anticipated that the Northside library would serve as an anchor for a walkable community. Instead, the building next door will soon sell heavy machinery. Home Depot bought Fashion Square Mall to build a new store. The former Hardee’s is a car dealership. Now the county is going to make revisions and want to know what developers think about the form-based code and how it can be made simpler. Can this community get to we after decades of us versus them? (learn more)
ALBEMARLE PC PUBLIC HEARINGS TONIGHT
For years, the western side of a stretch of U.S. 29 just to the north of the Rio / 29 intersection has been known for automobile dealerships. These have been through a string of ownership changes as Flow increases. An undeveloped property will become the new site of Flow Hyundai but to sell and display cars outside, a special use permit is needed. The Albemarle Planning Commission will have a public hearing on that tonight. They’ll also have public hearings on a daycare seeking to double in size to 48 students and Tandem Friends School’s request to go to 400 students, up from 250. (learn more)
GREENE WATER AND SEWER UPDATE
Greene County Supervisors are the only elected body in the area with a full meeting tonight. There will be a public hearing for a duplex at a new equestrian center as well as permission to build a farm winery larger than 4,000 square feet. Both demonstrate how property owners in Greene are seeking to take advantage of the natural area, and how there are concerns about that being too much. For instance, the Planning Commission put on a condition that only one of those two units in the duplex could be used for short-term rentals. There will also be an update from a Shenandoah National Park committee that serves as liaison with localities. But the thing I’ll be paying the most attention to is an update on the water and sewer department. There have been issues since the county took over that function from the Rapidan Service Authority. (learn more)
Smaller items:

• Albemarle Supervisors will hold a retreat Wednesday morning on Pantops to go over their rules and regulations, as well as team-building! This won’t be live-streamed. (learn more)
• The Rivanna Water and Sewer Authority and Rivanna Solid Waste Authority will meet today, and both will approve budgets. One day I’ll find time to write up one of these meeting, as there are always stories. (learn more)

Recent stories:

• UVA will build up to 2,000 beds at two key locations off of Emmet Street and off of Ivy Road. These will be for second-year students, allowing UVA to move ahead with a requirement that all students of that class are on campus. (read the story)
• Sometime next year, Virginia Breeze will launch a bus route to Virginia Beach from Harrisonburg 365 days a year. I seem to recall another service that existed but then stopped? Pricing information not yet available. (read the story)
• There are still three days to fill out a community survey for Charlottesville Area Transit’s strategic plan. This document lays out how the service will buy more buses and hire more drivers to finally be able to move forward with plans to increase service, hopefully to increase ridership. I wrote up a detailed story if you want to know what’s in the plan to inform your comment. (learn more)

I am not OP. That is u/metalslug53 who posted to BoomersBeingFools
TW: racism, slurs, sexism, verbal abuse and possible ageism
Original Post May 20th, 2024
I went into my local Walmart tonight for a quick grocery trip to pick up some stuff I was low on. Quick in and out trip, 15 minutes at most. Sad to say it didn't end up being a fast trip because when I arrived at checkout, I was stuck behind a Boomer who wanted to cause a scene.
The guy in front of me was with his wife, who were arguing loudly about God knows what. They had a substantial amount of stuff on the belt, including a few large bottles of various alcohols. When the Boomer scanned his way back to the bottles of alcohol, he froze and began searching around for an associate, who I presume he wanted to come and scan his ID.
The problem was that he didn't scan any of the bottles. He just locked up and stared directly at a girl who was busy at the monitor for the Self-Checkout registers the next aisle over. After about 30 - 45 seconds of not scanning anything, he loudly shouted "Excuse me" in his most condescending tone, followed by "Can you come and scan my fucking ID please?!"
His tactic worked, as the employee in question immediately whipped around and walked over. He was doing that typical arms-crossed bullshit, looking like everything was a giant inconvenience, and I will note, homie still hadn't scanned a single bottle of alcohol yet.
When this young woman was in speaking range, the Boomer began to lay into her. "It makes me real sick to see workers just standing around when they're on the clock doing nothing when people like me have schedules to keep. Can you do your fucking job please and scan my ID?"
"Excuse me?" she responded.
"You fucking heard me. Get off your goddamn phone and scan my card so I can get the hell out of here."
Now, I would like to note a few things about this interaction up to this point. First, this individual was still in a work outfit...a mechanic's onesie for a local mom-and-pop tire company that I won't name here, but one in which I know the owner pretty well. He's a family friend. Second, he was still wearing his name tag (Eric, somehow I hope you're competent enough to find your way here so you can see this story). Because of this, I knew how to address him.
Eventually he asks the cashier very rudely if she's going to scan his ID and she flat out tells him "No, I don't think so. Not after how you've treated me. You can talk with my manager." Good for her. She gets on a walkie and calls for a manager to come to the register the Boomer was towering over and briskly walked off towards the Customer Service counter at the front of the store. The Boomer starts loudly hollering about how this is all bullshit and he's just expressing his First Amendment rights.
It was at this point where I actually found some balls and decided to give my opinion, unsolicited, just so this guy could get an outside perspective on how much of a jackass he was being. "Excuse me, but the First Amendment doesn't protect you from looking like a douche bag to random strangers in Walmart when you treat other people like shit." The guy wheeled around and locked eyes with me. "What did you just say to me?" I just smirked and said "Oh, hard of hearing are we? I'm pretty sure you heard what I said."
The guy visibly shook on the spot. "This isn't any of your fuckin' business, so butt out!"
"I disagree. When I see someone acting like an asshole for no good reason, I make it a point to speak up. You seem to think that by stating that you have a First Amendment right means you can say whatever the hell you want without consequence, but that isn't how it works, sir. First Amendment protects you from government overreach for speaking your mind, but it doesn't protect you from the consequences you face from others for your words or your opinions."
"That's besides the point. I'm sick and fucking tired of these minorities doing nothing and getting a paycheck for it." He responded, rather loudly and unaware that there were quite a few people staring at this point. Hooray. Racism has entered the chat.
The manager showed up, and he starts in on how he scanned his alcohol and that the associate in question was VERY rude to him and refused to serve him. He started stating that she told him he wouldn't get help because he was white when I interjected again.
"Ma'am, that is NOT what happened. This gentleman didn't even scan any of his alcohol and immediately started shouting down at your employee, just for the sake of being upset. He was rude, unpleasant, and even made unnecessary racial comments."
He wheeled around at me again and yelled "Shut the fuck up and mind your business!" before going on the tirade again. Something something lazy workers, something something First Amendment and speaking his mind.
"You know, this is very unfair of you." I started again. "You've put that poor girl in an unwinnable situation. Now that you've raised this untrue complaint, her manager is going to have to have words with her even though she hasn't done anything wrong. Does that sound fair to you, Eric?" I don't think he realized he was still in uniform, because he looked at me puzzled at how I knew his name. "How would YOU feel if someone came into your place of business and told John a bunch of bullshit about how YOU were treating them unfairly when you knew perfectly well that it was a lie? Or even better, how would your boss react if he knew you were acting like this WHILE STILL IN UNIFORM with his place of business plastered all over your chest?" When he heard me say the name of his boss, he stopped cold. "Yes Eric. I know John VERY well, and I think I might be paying him a visit tomorrow. That is unless you decide to apologize to that girl for being a lying prick instead."
The guy then became very rushed and suddenly in a colossal hurry. He muttered something about people not minding their own business, to which I replied with "I'm just eXpReSsInG mY FiRSt AmEnDmENt RiGHts!" Spongebob sarcastic voice and all. He scanned one of the bottles and had the manager scan his ID. His wife started in about how I better not show up to his office tomorrow...something directed at me, but I wasn't paying her any attention and brushed her off. I was just staring at Eric and watching him bag.
Eventually, he got all of his stuff put in his basket and he marched out, but he didn't apologize to the manager or the employee and gave me a hearty "Go fuck yourself, asshole!" as he flipped me off. I scanned my groceries and paid for my merchandise, but man was I smiling from ear to ear.
Afterwards, I made it a point to go and speak with the manager and the employee in the Customer Service center. As expected, the manager was having a conversation with the employee about that customer, and she thanked me for speaking up. I've worked retail before, so I know what it's like having to deal with assholes like Eric. It'd be a cold day in hell before I let a Boomer bully an employee then weasel his way into a victim role with management. Not on my fucking watch.
So now my next play is to show up to this tire shop tomorrow. I really hope Eric is there. I hope he's the opener. I'm going to walk in and just smile at him. Ask to see his manager. Then I think I'm going to go in and just weave the NICEST story about how he treated the employees at Walmart, so much so that I was compelled to stop in and tell his boss that he has a real winner on his hands, and that I'm a customer for life now.
Maybe that way, he might get a message. MAYBE, he will realize that I could have started a whole shitstorm for him, but I chose not to, because unlike him, I'm not a fucking dickhead.
tl;dr *(For the upset Boomers in this thread who don't like reading, it seems): Boomer got big mad for no reason and berated a Walmart employee while he himself was wearing his work uniform. I'll be paying his boss, a family friend, a visit tomorrow to discuss his employee's behavior while still representing his place of work.
Update May 21st, 2024
Proof I was here. (As I stated in the first thread, I will not be disclosing this location to any of you. Took as neutral of a photo as I could. If you live here, MAYBE you'll recognize it. Take it for what it is, I guess.)
Link to part one.
Before we begin, let me start by saying WOW, simply because when I passed out last night, I was hovering around ~350 upvotes and had a steady trickle of interaction with people. I was doing my best to respond to the comments as they came in. Then, when I woke up this morning, ya'll...I had over 1500 messages in my inbox and the thread has fucktupled in upvotes, just overnight. I'm so sorry if I didn't respond to you...it was a fool's errand to try and get to everyone.
I also want to address specifically a small handful of you...the ones I was certain would show up in the comments to basically call me a liar or say my story was fabricated. Some of the reasons you gave were pretty telling. My favorite was when someone said something along the lines of "This is too well-written to be true." What a world we live in where clear dictation automatically disqualifies a recounting of events from being accurate. I'll admit that it read closer to a novel than anything else, but that's just how I dictate I guess.
Anyways, onto the update.
I arrived at the tire shop just a hair after 8:00am. There was one gentleman in line at the counter when I arrived, but he was already being assisted by one of the associates manning the register. I took a look around and peeked my head in the back office area where I knew John typically worked when he wasn't being pulled into a bay.
John wasn't there.
As I walked towards the sitting area, I happened to ask an employee who was walking by if he knew when John would be in today. He told me John usually arrives a bit before 9:00am when he worked mornings, so I should just chill for a bit. I didn't have anything pressing to attend to today, so I did just that.
As I moved towards a seat, I happened to glance outside at the working bays and noticed my ol' buddy Eric, who was currently walking towards the main building. When he saw me, I watched as his head drooped down and I could visibly see him mutter the word "Fuck" under his breath. He stopped for just a second, shook his head, and continued walking towards the building.
When he came inside, he set a packet with what I presume was a customer order on the counter and said something to the clerk at the register. He hesitated for a moment and walked over to where I was sitting. As he approached, I greeted him with "Morning, Eric." and smiled. He just stood over me for a moment before he took a chair across the coffee table that was sitting in front of me.
Wonder what his next move was?
Honestly, I didn't expect it, but the dude opened with "I owe you an apology."
Color me shocked, I guess.
Now, you see...at this point about a billion things began to run around in my head. MOSTLY, for some reason, the things that ran most prominently through my mind were all the calls for bloodshed that popped up in the last thread. All the claims that Boomers can never learn and the only language they knew was bullying, which were thrown at me like mortars practically every step I took. Ya'll were bloodthristy last night and still were this morning, convinced that this gentleman was a drunkard asshat, but do drunk asshats apologize after doing something wrong?
Back to the story.
He continued on, saying that he didn't just owe ME an apology, but also the cashier he yelled at last night, and how he had actually planned on returning to Walmart on his lunch break to see if she was working so he could apologize to her as well. In his words "I've been dealing with a lot of personal shit in my life recently including the loss of a loved one, and I took that out on ya'll last night and it wasn't right."
Right about this time is when I noticed that John had arrived. He walked in through the door behind where Eric and I were sitting and walked straight into the back area I checked before. We will get to that later.
Guys, I honestly had no idea what to do. On one hand yes, this dude was a raging douchebag to that girl last night, but this felt genuine. I mentioned several times in the first thread that I didn't want to react hastily and this is exactly why. Had I gone in there and thrown a colossal fit and started a shitstorm, I don't know if this would have ended the same.
Anyways, I don't wish to grandstand things further. The guy apologized, I stood up and shook his hand, and I simply told him "Be good to people for no reason, man. Kindness is free and isn't a sign of weakness." We chatted a bit and had a bit of a revelation that Eric and I have a distant connection neither of us really knew about. I won't disclose what or how we knew each other for personal reasons.
Then John came out of the back office.
He recognized me and gave me a hug. Asked what I was in for. I basically told him that I ran into Eric at the store last night and wanted to check in on him and get an update on an issue he was having there.
That's when John said "Yeah, Eric I need to talk to you about that. I had a lady call me about something that happened at Walmart you were involved in."
Oh shit. I'm guessing either the manager or the cashier called John after what happened last night. I guess the ball isn't in my court any longer.
Eric gave a deep sigh and basically told John "I was a shithead to a cashier last night because I was in a hurry. I wasn't thinking and it wasn't right. I'm gonna make it right at lunch time. I hope she's working today." John then said something I didn't catch and him and Eric walked into the back room.
That's it. End of story. I took a scrap from a notebook, jotted down my "proof" and snapped a photo, then jumped in my car and left.
I certainly hope that this brings you guys whatever closure you were looking for. I'm certain some of you aren't going to be happy with how this turned out, given how many pitchforks I saw last night. But after all this, all I can say is to not be so hasty when jumping to conclusions. People are people, ya'll. You can't really be sure what someone is going through before you jump to judgment. Some folks don't know how to ask for forgiveness or don't know how to take responsibility for their actions, but some folks can. I'm glad this resolved itself the way it did. John knows what happened and knows that it happened with his business on full display, so he can now CHOOSE how HE reacts with that information. I got the closure I needed, and I hope the cashier does too. Time will tell in that regard, I suppose.
Be good to each other.
EDIT: I'm present in the comments, trying to interact with as many of you as I can. But comments are coming in so fast I can't keep up. Sorry!
EDIT 2: Still getting a tidal wave of comments. The inbox is filling up rapidly. I am now turning off notifications and calling it a day. Thanks for all the input! Lots of love!
EDIT 3: Inbox replies disabled, but I'm still surfing comments. It's wild to me that SO MANY PEOPLE are upset that this didn't play out the way they hoped. Guys, I'm not saying Eric is a saint here. I'm not saying what he did was excusable. But I absolutely refuse to try and add any more suffering to the situation than has already been dealt. Some of you want me to return and get this guy fired. Some of you want me to post his info online. None of this will be happening. I consider this story done and there will be no further interjection on my part. I know some of you won't like that response (hell, some of you have already taken to insinuating that I'm excusing racism in the comments. Big yikes, guys.), but this is where things end with me.
Reflect on your own feelings after reading this. A whole lot of you are still angry. But a whole lot of you are happy with how things played out. I'm personally glad where things end. Whether or not that makes me a fool, naive, or an idiot is your opinion to have I guess, but I can walk away from this knowing that my presence extracted an apology. That's good enough for me.
Keep being kind. It's genuinely a real-life superpower. The universe rewards kindness in kind.
I am not the original poster. Please don't contact or comment on linked posts

Hi all, in May of last year I paid a woman in my state $600 for a ragdoll kitten. I have everything recorded and was promised a kitten from the litter in July. July, August, and then September rolled around and I still had nothing. I requested a refund as I was planning to move out of state and couldn’t drive 15 hours to pick up a kitten that was supposed to be only 2 hours away. She agreed to the refund and said she would send it in SEPTEMBER 2023. I am STILL texting her asking for a refund I’ve been promised it will come “tomorrow”, “next week” “later tonight” a countless number of times we’ve argued went back and forth and I’ve yet to my refund. The thing is I have her full name& current address- she’s about 2/3 hours away from me can I file with her local police department ? For fraud ? Is there anything I can do besides showing up in person demanding my money?

My husband and I have been married 7 years and I love him so much! We are Mormons and typically we get married early, I was a 20 year old psychology major when we got married and he had already been working as an engineer. I just feel like life moved to quick we have 2 wonderful boys age 5 and 6.
A year ago we moved to a different state for my husbands job. I mentioned how I had felt lonely when the kids where at daycare (I work remote part time) and we both thought it was good that I join the local run club.
So this is kind of where things went south, I take full accountability for it. I was emotionally cheating with a guy I met there and it got physically, we had sexual encounters a total of 7 times. Long story short one day I got caught in bed with him and my husband and I really went through a rough patch. We went through therapy and after 6 months I honestly felt like we are in a much better place.
It’s just he makes these weird comments…so the guy I was with is well endowed and happens to be African American, my husband is white and I would say is of average size. He says weird stuff during sex like” do you like this bbc?” Or should” I put Nutella on my di-k I know you like that” I always loved him and never cared of his size and just yesterday he brought a black strap on penis and tried to penetrate me. I screamed at him to stop and I went to my friends house crying.
I know I messed up 6 months ago but I feel like I am living a nightmare just when I thought we were getting better.
Tl;dr: cheated on husband, he is spiraling after seemingly doing well

*UPDATE*
I really appreciate all of the advice from y'all! I was already pretty set on what I was going to do, and then about an hour ago I hear dry heaving and I come out of my room to check on things just in time to see her throw up all over my living room near my bar cart because she's drunk for some reason at 11AM on a Tuesday. I'm done. I let her clean herself up and then I tell her that I don't think we're compatible as roommates and that I'm giving her 30 days to find a new place and move out. Like one of y'all said, she gave me a sob story about how she just found out a couple of days ago she has a heart condition and begged if I could give her one more month to show she's not like this because we live in New York and how it's hard to find a place, and I said I understood and genuinely sympathize about her condition, but that should've been thought of before disrespecting my space and my peace. And the sex on the sofa happened before the diagnosis, so it just sounds like an excuse. Then she called me disrespectful and I pointed out that that's untrue and that I've been more than fair and patient in all of this. She isn't taking it well and while I'm in my room I hear her walking around yelling out that "she's a dumb bitch" and that she doesn't want to be around me and that she can't stand me and slamming doors even louder than she normally does. My aunt is flying up here tomorrow to stay with me for a while just to be sure nothing goes too south. I'm honestly exhausted.
At least I have some new questions to add when I'm vetting roommates, like do you have a drinking problem haha! Appreciate y'all!
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(Reposting because it didn’t get much traction last night and I’d really love any advice on this!)
I’m at my wits end and I desperately need any advice anyone could offer. This might be a little long, but I want to give as much context as possible! So my old roommate recently moved out to move in with her boyfriend and I’m already missing her so much given the current circumstances.
My new roommate, who we’ll call Jan, moved in a few weeks ago. I met her on this roommate app that I’ve met all my former roommates on with no problems and some I even still keep in touch with. I asked her all the same questions I’ve asked previously that have landed me with great roommates and she seemed to be on the same page in the way we both want to live as roommates and in a shared space! I thought she was perfect so I extended her the offer and she moved in.
Important to note that even before she moved in I met her in person after our FaceTime call so she could see the place and we went out for a couple of drinks to get to know each other and we got along great, and no outward red flags.
The first night went fine, I came home late from a work event and she was chilling in the living room, I made sure she was settling in ok and answered any questions and went to bed. So I felt good about the decision. Then the second night came.
I had worked from home that entire day, so when she came home we watched a movie together and then I went to bed. So, she knew I was home. This was around 9PM. An hour in I hadn’t fallen asleep yet when I hear her yelling loudly at her cat about something. She does this sporadically through the night and I’m mentally thinking “oh no” because it’s the middle of the night and she knows I’m trying to sleep and is yelling at the top of her lungs at the cat and also slamming the bathroom door whenever she leaves it. I make a note to talk to her about it in the morning and try to go to sleep.
The random noises continue but I’m a heavy sleeper and I’m almost asleep when I hear our front door buzzer go off and someone's at the door. I don’t think much of it and assumed maybe she just ordered food, that is until a few minutes later I hear LOUD moaning coming from somewhere in the apartment. I shoot up in bed because I genuinely can’t believe what I’m hearing. And it is loud. Then I text my sister cause I don’t know what to do at this point. I’m hoping that was a quick slip up and also hoping that there was a man over cause the alternate would be especially weird. But the loud moaning continues, and y’all, it’s obnoxiously loud, our apartment isn't that big, she knows I’m home and it’s 1AM at this point. So I’m thinking it’s coming from her room since it’s right next to mine so I poke my head out my door intending to give a light knock on her door when I realize the noise is actually coming from the living room.
It’s the second night that she’s my roommate and she’s having sex with this guy in the living room on my sofa! I’m furious but also shocked cause I can’t believe this is happening, so I ask them if they could stop cause it’s late and they’re being loud cause I don’t know what to even say in the moment and they act all embarrassed and cover up but it’s like, y’all weren’t embarrassed when you were purposely making all of that noise KNOWING I’m home??
And yes... they left a stain.
Anyway I go to bed and the next morning I call my mom, aunts and sister to get some advice and also have them talk me down. Half of them wants me to kick her out and the other half says to talk to her and give it a month so I decide to talk to her and I would base how I’d move forward depending on her reaction.
I basically tell her that that was extremely disrespectful and felt that she took advantage of my kindness and the fact that I’m chill (maybe too chill if she thinks I’d be ok with this), and that something like that cannot ever happen again. Jan was really remorseful and seemed sincere, and she also genuinely seemed embarrassed and said that she knows it’s not an excuse but she was drunk. I made sure to ask her if she often does impulsive things like that when she’s drunk and she says no. I’m skeptical and even though I was still weirded out that someone would think that’d ever be ok, especially your second night as someone’s new roommate, but because she seemed sincere I thank her for the apology and try to move past it.
Since then everything’s been ok I guess. She does annoying things that wouldn’t bother me as much, but are grating on my nerves and stand out a bit more due to that incident. But still, nothing too out of the way until tonight, which is what prompted me to write this.
I went out of town for Memorial Day to visit family. I left on Friday evening and came back tonight on Monday. I was a little worried but walked in to a seemingly well kept apartment, so I took my suitcase to my room to go to sleep. But when I was rolling past, her door was open and I saw she was using our throw blankets from the living room as her curtains. I was a little annoyed, but again, just made a note to tell her tomorrow morning to put them back in the living room. But then I go to the bathroom and there’s stains on the toilet seat, the seat itself is off center, and there’s stains in the toilet bowl, and I had cleaned the toilet before I left so HOW did it get this dirty in less than 3 days? The bathroom sink was also dirty. After cleaning the bowl, I go in the kitchen to get a Clorox wipe to clean the seat when I see broken glass (my poor pink wine glass) shattered and left in the dish drying rack and also some shards on the floor. I understand accidents happen, but I thought it was common knowledge to not leave fragile glass in a drying rack with heavier items, and then if you do and it shatters, not to just leave it?? And what if I walked in barefoot and cut my foot? She had to have seen the glass.
Am I being unreasonable in the level of frustration I now have? Then to top it off my recycling bin is gone and so I decide to just text her and ask her where it is and also if she knows there’s broken glass in the dish drying rack? She ignores the glass question and says she’s using the recycling container in her room to empty out her stuff (I don’t understand why she keeps taking common area things into her room and then not bringing them back out) and then asks me to “please be patient with her during the process.” Not to mention she's still yelling loudly at the cat and slamming doors still and it's past 11PM at this point.
I feel as if I’ve been more than patient, possibly too patient, so to be told to be patient after asking a reasonable question and also having her ignore the glass issue sent me over the edge. I want to talk to her at some point today and I’m wondering if I should in painstaking detail go over boundaries and expectations, or go with my gut and tell her I don’t think we’re compatible and that she should plan to move out since she hasn’t fully unpacked yet anyway? I don’t want to be harsh, but I feel like these are common sense things that I shouldn’t even have to set boundaries or establish guidelines for? But my aunt always says common sense ain’t so common, so should I give her the benefit of the doubt? I really don’t think I should, but I’m also big on letting someone know the problems I have with them before abruptly ending a situation. I'm of the belief that we're all adults and should be able to live without having to set "house rules" and I've never had to with my old roommates and I don't want to be someone's mother and I don't plan on starting now. But the way things are going, I might have to or find someone else that I'm more compatible with.
Anyway, I would greatly appreciate any advice on this or even what to say to her in the case of letting her know I don’t think we should continue living together anymore (of course giving her 30 days).

It's been awhile since I've watched and finished a BL so here we are. As always, there will be spoilers ahead, so beware! Oh yall can watch this on Netflix.
To summarise the whole plot, it is about a superstar x a doctor love story. The superstar, Achivich, and the doctor, Jirawat were friends since middle / high school but got separated. So they met again after 10 years. So when you watch this series, there will be endless flashbacks. Like, there's awfully A LOT. For me, i like the plot, but sometimes the flashbacks don't even connect to the present day. Like, suddenly the flashback was there and you be like eh? Actually, the storytelling, especially from the first few episodes are kinda boring. Fyi, i started to watch this series last 2 months ago, and i just finished it today. I stopped watching it on ep 4 bcus the present day plus the flashbacks made everything feel choppy. And at that time, i am already serious about giving this a 3/10 rating. It was that bad.
But i just pushed myself to watch everything since it only got 8 episodes. I continue watching ep4 until the end, and im glad that i did bcus the storytelling definitely gotten better at the 2nd half of the story. And ep7 is the peak of the series bcus, man i did shed some real tears.
Now let's talk about the story itself. I did say that Achi and Ji got separated and met again after 10 years. And in ep 2, Achi casually kissed Ji during the reunion night (the 1st day they met again and Ji punched him for it) and that's when you know that they are not JUST REGULAR CHILDHOOD FRIENDS. Like they got separated for a reason. In the present day, suprise suprise, Ji got a half Achi face with him picture as his lockscreen so you know that Ji still have feelings for Achi.
Fast forward, Achi is pursuing Ji by sending him food, etc. But, the series hit you with a flashback on Ji liking a girl named Pear, which changed their “friendship” overall. Achi became jealous out of nowhere, and Ji finally caught some feelings that he didn't experience while with Pear. There's one scene where it clearly showed their gay awakening, where Ji complimented Achi, and then Achi was blushing. And suddenly Ji was laying on top of Achi's chest and Ji heard Achi's heartbeat and was like 😳😳😳
And ep 7.. i was devastated. In the present time, Achi always wants to talk about what happened 10 years ago, and Ji always doesn't want to talk about it. But finally they talked and flashback time… It’s movie night like always, but Achi put on a softcore porn this time, which he called an art. That put both of them in horny mode, and they finally did the deed, even tho both of them didn't talk about their feelings. But both of them felt “bad” after the sex, which is valid bcus in real life, there are people who are not happy after their 1st time or with sex itself. But ofc they were barely legal i think, they were still kids, so a huge misunderstanding happened when Ji told Achi to forget that night bcus he thought Achi hated the sex (when actually, he hated that he has hurt Ji) . It made Achi not contact Ji, and Ji took that personally. Things happened, and Achi immediately went to the US, leaving the dog that they both saved, Money and Ji. Plus, in Netflix, that part had this OST translated, and i cried. That was the perfect OST. And when Ji found out that Achi was gone and left Money alone, he brought Money back at home and be like “ mom can we keep Money here 😭😭😭 achi already left him here, money have no family left 😭😭😭” and i cried so hard again.
But, did i mention that To Be Continued have a 2nd couple? No, bcus i barely remember them ngl. It is between Ki, Ji's younger bro and a local farmer, Gumbie. Their relationship or scenes served NO purpose to the main cp or to the story. Like if their story is gone, nothing will happen. Eventho they are cute, their story felt like a filler. I mean, they don't even have a story. Especially when both of them didn't even date at the end. Like why are we bringing them as the 2nd cp again? It's not even a bromance. It felt like 2 strangers getting to know each other and became besties.
In conclusion, the storytelling was quite bad in some places, but thankfully, episodes 6,7 and 8 kinda saved it. Like you got Achi fell down while dancing, and the very next scene, you got Achi inside of Ji's house. Like, what? And this happened in ep 8 too..
Anyway, I like the chemistry between the 2 leads, Junior and Fluke. Both of them are cute tho, like Fluke with his dimples ughhh. Also, i did not forget that he is Garfield's older bro. Like i see the genes here. Junior and Fluke, their acting felt natural to watch. They just got a bad edited series. Other cast like Poppy and the female doctor are also very good. Like bruh if the series actually invested in Poppy's and the female doc story, i would love it more. Overall, i have to give this a 6.5/10. Initially, i want to give this a 7/10, but minus 0.5 bcus they used Bed Friend Feel Faen ost with NetJames vocal at the end. And Bed Friend is my fav BL, so im still kinda salty? Like my kokoro? My hearteau?

PLAYBOY Interview With Conan O'Brien Interview by Kevin Cook For Playboy Magazine February 1998 Part 3
Playboy: Now that you're doing so well do you worry about losing your edge? O'Brien: I fear being a victim of success. It's seductive. You have new choices. "Conan, Sylvester Stallone wants to be on, but we're already booked." My feeling is that I must say no to Stallone. "Sorry, Sly. Bob Denver's on that night.
Playboy: How's your relationship with NBC executives now that the show is a success? O'Brien: Better. But I have not forgotten the bad old days. Let me tell you about one executive. He's no longer with the company. I had him killed. But in our darker days he came to the set one night after we did a great show. I come off after the show and this guy says, "Wow, that was terrible." He thought the show should look like MTV. "Run into the audience and tell jokes. Run up to a guy, have him shout his name, get everybody cheering."
Playboy: You didn't agree apparently. O'Brien: Too much of television is energy with no purpose. People going "Whoo!" But that's just empty energy. That's American Gladiators. I often try to lower the energy, especially when school is out and college kids are here. They're huge fans, they're psyched, but we're a quirky comedy show, not MTV Spring Break.
Playboy: Were you thrilled when the Marv Albert sex case hit the news? O'Brien: Oh man, was I into Marv. I would love to trick you into thinking I'm high-minded, but that story made me think, My God, yes, I'll use this, and this... But it bothered me the way he was publicly vilified. People were getting off on the kinky stuff; they condemned Marv for wearing women's clothing, which isn't a crime.
Playboy: Yet tonight you did a Marv Albert joke. You said Marv had a new job as a mannequin at Victoria's Secret. O'Brien: You can be uncomfortable with it and still use it. Isn't that what guilt is all about?
Playboy: What comedy bits do you regret doing? O'Brien: We did one with a character called Randy the Pyloric Sphincter. Now, the point of the joke is that this is not the sphincter that excrement passes through. The pyloric sphincter is at the top of the digestive tract. It basically keeps acid from going up into the oesophagus.
We had a guy in a sphincter costume and a cowboy hat. He says, "Hi kids, I'm Randy the Pyloric Sphincter. No, not that bad sphincter! When food passes through me, it isn't digested yet." He then proceeds to squeeze foods that look like shit whether they're digested or not. Chocolate. Picture a sphincter exuding a huge chocolate bar. We were grossing people out.
Playboy: So why put Randy on the air? O'Brien: I just loved the fact that he wore a cowboy hat.
Playboy: What sorts of bits do you refuse to do? O'Brien: Arbitrary humor. "Here's the sketch: Conan jumps into a barrel of wheat germ." I'll ask him what the joke is. "It's crazy, that's all."
Look, I was a comedy writer. I've been through this before. If the joke is that there is no joke, the writer gets no paycheck.
Playboy: Jumping into wheat germ sounds like Letterman. O'Brien: My show began with me and everyone involved with the show doing all we could to avoid being anything like Letterman. Which is difficult. He invented a lot of the form. He carved out a big territory. He's the Viking who discovered America, and now I have my little piece of northwestern Canada that I'm trying to claim as my own.
Playboy: So how do you avoid being Dave-like? O'Brien: We have always scrupulously avoided found comedy. You never see me going up and talking to normal Joe on the street. The real word of people, dogs, cabbies -- Letterman is great at that. His genius, I think, is playing with the real world around him. Which is not my forte at all. My idea is more about creating a fake, cartoony world and playing with that.
Playboy: Are you goofy in real life? O'Brien: My private life is boring. I've been with the same woman, Lynn Kaplan, for four years, and there ain't nothing crazy going on. Lynn is a talent booker on our show. We go to my house in Connecticut on weekends. I sit around playing guitar.
Playboy: Gossip columnists have placed you in Manhattan with other women. O'Brien: One of them had me with Courteney Cox. Lisa Kudrow and I did improv together years ago and we went out for a while. Maybe that's why I can now be romantically linked to the entire cast of Friends. I may be thrilled with that, but my girlfriend is one of those people who believes everything they read in the tabloids. She's sitting at the table in Connecticut when she opens a tabloid and says, "What the hell?" There's a big photo of me with Courteney Cox. The story says, "Courteney's moving in with Conan."
Playboy: Did Lynn believe it? O'Brien: No, because the story went on to say, "Conan and Courteney were seen at the Fashion Cafe munching veggie burgers." That sentence ended her faith in tabloids. Lynn knows that I would never (a) go to the Fashion Cafe and (b) eat a veggie burger. I'm an Irish-Catholic kid from Boston; I'll eat red meat until my heart explodes out of my chest.
Playboy: Do you still drive an old Ford Taurus? O'Brien: When I got my five-year contract I moved up. Bought a Range Rover. Now I drive the Range Rover to Connecticut for the weekend, park it and tool around in the Taurus all weekend. I can't let go of that Taurus. It's an extension of my penis.
Playboy: Can you forget about the show on weekends? O'Brien: I drive around playing Jerry Reed tapes, fantasizing that I'm some backwoods character. But even then -- you know, it's probably not an accident that people who do these shows tend to be depressive. You want so badly for it to be right every night, but mounting an hour-long show four times a week -- the pace will kill you. One night I put my fist through a tile wall. Another night, I walked off the stage, pulled an air-conditioning unit out of the wall and kicked it. This stuff I can't explain. Nor can I excuse it. But there may be something maddening about these shows. The pace is... I forget shows we did last week. That's why I can't imagine doing this for 30 years. I bet you could show Johnny Carson footage of how he shrieked as his body was lowered into acid and he's say, "Hmm, don't remember that one."
I saw Jerry Seinfeld at the Emmy Awards. He said he liked the show, then he paused and said, "How do you do it?"
"Do what?"
"Do what you do every night for an hour?"
That shocked me. This is Jerry Seinfeld, the master. A man everyone can agree is funny. And I really have no answer.
Playboy: Praise from Seinfeld must cheer you up. O'Brien: (Shaking his head) I worry that we have hit our stride and must be headed for a fall. Because every show has an arc. The Honeymooners had an arc. People forget, but The Honeymooners was mean and depressing. Art Carney wasn't fun and cuddly yet. Even successful shows take time to find their rhythm. Then they get self-indulgent and fuck it up. Look at late Happy Days episodes. They quit shooting on location, Mork keeps visiting, and it's an excuse to spin off new shows.
Playboy: Will you fuck it up, too? O'Brien: Eventually my only consolation may be that I get paid a lot. I'll say, "I know it sucks, but I'm getting $65 million a year!"
Playboy: Letterman said almost exactly that not long ago. When a joke died he admitted it sucked. "But I'm making a fortune!" he said. Do you really worry about losing your edge? O'Brien: I want a living will for my career. I want the people around me to pull the plug when I become a self-parody, an old blowhard like Alan Brady. Remember him, the television star Rob Petrie worked for on the Dick Van Dyke Show? Pompous, over-the-top, over-the-hill. I don't want to be Alan Brady.
Playboy: Letterman paid you an odd compliment. "When I see that show it withers me with exhaustion," he said. O'Brien: That's our new slogan. "Watch Late Night -- We'll wither you." But I think Dave was saying that he knows how hard it is to make a show like this every night.
Playboy: Suppose Leno left The Tonight Show. Would you like to duel Dave at 11:30? O'Brien: Our best slot would be eight A.M.. We have puppets, cartoons, lots of childishness. I think I'm doing an OK late-night show but it's a great kids' show.
Playboy: This from Mr. Hip? O'Brien: No. When someone says this or that sort of comedy is hip and alternative -- "Yes, these are cool people" -- I hate that. Because at the end of the day, funny is funny. People get fooled about me because I went to Harvard. "He's cerebral." But I love Green Acres. I love how Green Acres bends reality.
Playboy: Sounds cerebral. O'Brien: It isn't. In one episode Oliver Douglas has to go to Washington, D.C. His wife says, "Darling, take a picture of the Eiffel Tower." He says, "Lisa, the Eiffel Tower ---" Then Eb comes in. "Mr. Douglas, git me an Eiffel Tower postcard!" Now Oliver is terribly frustrated. He keeps sputtering about Washington, D.C., but nobody listens. At the end, he goes to Washington, looks up, and there's the Eiffel Tower. That is the kind of thing that made me love T.V.
Playboy: As a TV-mad college kid you cooked up scams to meet celebs. O'Brien: I wanted to meet Bill Cosby, so my friends and I offered him some fake award. We took a bowling trophy and called it the Harvard Comedy Award, something like that, and Cosby, thinking it was the Hasty Pudding Award, accepted. So I drive out to meet his private plane. "Over here, Mr. Cosby!" And I chauffeur him in my dad's second hand station wagon. Cosby sits in the backseat, picking old McDonald's wrappers off the floor, and says, "This is about the Hasty Pudding Award?"
"Oh no, nothing like that."
Playboy: You tricked Bill Cosby into letting you drive him around? O'Brien: I didn't realize that one does not pick up a famous person in a 1976 station wagon. They like to fly first-class, to be picked up in a Town Car and put up in a nice hotel. Fortunately I am not directly involved in celebrity care anymore.
Playboy: Did you bring other comics to Harvard? O'Brien: Yes. John Candy's people warned me that John was on the Pritikin diet. They gave me strict dietary instructions. John immediately ran into a bakery on Harvard Square to get pastries. He said they were Pritikin eclairs.
Playboy: You once stole a famous television costume. O'Brien: When Burt Ward visited Harvard there were fliers all over the campus: Burt Ward to Appear With Original Robin Costume (Insured by Lloyd's of London for $500,000). In fact, Burt Ward was said to keep a bunch of them in his car; he'd pass them out to impress girls. Naturally, I wanted to screw with him. A few friends and I attended his speech at the science center. We went dressed as security guards. I said, "Mr. Ward, I've been sent by the dean to safe guard the costume." As if it were the Shroud of Turin. But the guy is humorless. "Yes, very good. That costume is very valuable," he says.
That's when we hit the lights. Which works great in the movies. In the movies the lights go out and suddenly the jewel is gone. In real life, though, what you get is some dimming. You hit the lights and people can see a little less well.
Playboy: Did you grab the costume? O'Brien: We grabbed it and the chase was on. Some Burt Ward admirers -- young Republicans, I guess -- took off after us yelling, "Stop them!" But we escaped in a waiting car. We proceeded to torment Burt Ward for hours on the phone, saying, "This is the Joker, hee-hee-hee. I've got your costume."
Playboy: How did Burt react? O'Brien: Robinlike. He said, "Return it or you will feel my wrath!" Playboy: Burt Ward used to tell reporters he had an IQ of 200. O'Brien: He may be delusional.
Playboy: Were you always starstruck? O'Brien: Stars are fascinating. When I was a writer for Saturday Night Live, Robert Wagner did the show. One day he was sitting offstage, talking on the phone. He had on a camel-hair jacket, silk scarf, and of course his perfectly arranged Robert Wagner hair. "Very good, goodbye," he says, and hangs up. Suddenly his hand shoots up and touches the right side of his head, where the phone receiver may have disturbed a few hairs. At that point you know he has done this smooth move every day since 1948.
Playboy: You seem to prefer goofy celebs -- Jack Lord, William Shatner, Robert Stack. There are photos of Stack and Adam West, TV's Batman, here in your office. Do those guys know you are making fun of them? O'Brien: I'm not. I have a real affection for those men. To me, meeting Andy Griffith is just as interesting as interviewing Allen Ginsberg. I'm interested in Martin Scorsese and Gore Vidal as well as Jaleel White, TV's Urkel.
Playboy: How do Gore Vidal and Urkel compare? O'Brien: I'd say Jaleel White's prose style is not taken as seriously. But the same is true of Vidal's nerd character.
Playboy: As one of the writers on The Simpsons you helped create some memorable characters. O'Brien: What I loved about The Simpsons was that it wasn't a cartoon for kids. A cartoon might look like the friendliest thing in the world, but we were subversive. I loved it when we had Lisa write a patriotic essay in school: "Our country has the strongest, best educational system in the world after Canada, Germany, France, Great Britain..." It was this great sugarcoated cutting remark. I loved her for it.
Playboy: Tell us a Simpsons sercret. O'Brien: When Dan Castellaneta started doing Homer's voice, he was doing Walter Matthau. Like I said, it takes time to find your rhythm.
Playboy: So are you satisfied with your work? O'Brien: Intellectually, yes. The show works. Advertisers like to buy time on it. Young people really like it. But I was a moody, driven, self-critical person before I got this show, and that hasn't changed. It's just that I now have something even more frightening than a Saturday Night Live sketch or a Bart Simpson joke to worry about. I have an hour of comedy broadcast every night. My anxiety has finally met its match.
Playboy: Will you and Lynn get married? O'Brien: The core idea of being a comic, particularly a comic with a talk show, is control. Marriage is a leap of faith, a giving up of control. I'm not sure if I can make that leap.
Playboy: What about kids? O'Brien: What sort of dad would I make? Maybe this job and a normal family life are diametrically opposed. Dave, Jay, Bill Maher, Arsenio -- where are your kids? Jack Paar seemed to have a normal life with a wife and child, but you don't see much of that. And I believe that your kid should be the most important thing in your life. I may not have room, at least not now. I have Pimpbot to think about.
Playboy: Another foul mouthed Late Night character. O'Brien: Half-robot, half-Seventies street pimp. He's got a feathered hat and a metallic voice: "Gotta run my bitches. Run my ho's. I'll cut you." Right now my life revolves around Pimpbot.
Playboy: You need to settle a fashion question. You, Leno and Letterman seldom wear suits off stage. Leno likes flannel shirts, Letterman prefers jeans and sweatshirts. You wear T-shirts. Why wear a suit and tie on the air? O'Brien: There are two schools of thought on that. The Steve Martin approach says that you're putting on a show, so dress up for the people. The George Carlin approach says all that old showbiz stuff is over, this is the new way, so wear a T-shirt. I choose a jacket and tie because that's the uniform people expect talk show hosts to wear. If I came out in a mesh T-shirt and chains it might distract people from the comedy.
Playboy: How would you describe your show? O'Brien: It's a hybrid. If Carson defined the talk show and Letterman was the anti-talk show, where do you go next? That was the question we faced. What we did was make a show that has the visual trappings of the classic Tonight Show -- the desk, the band, the sidekick -- but with everything else perverted. When it works well I'd say my show is one part Carson, one part Charlie Rose and one part Pee-Wee's Playhouse.
Playboy: Do you have any advice for future talk show hosts? O'Brien: You had better love the job. Some hosts don't. You can see it in their eyes. Chevy Chase's talk show -- he did not want to be there. And if that's in your eyes you're finished, because there's another show tomorrow and next week and the week after that. You can't conquer it. You can do two or three or ten good shows in a row and still want to punch a wall when you slip up.
Playboy: Can you ever conquer your repressed childhood? O'Brien: It's always there. I still believe in moral absolutes. Murder, for instance, is wrong, unless it helps the show.
Playboy: Still, talk show hosts have perks most guys can only dream of. O'Brien: It's great to be played over to the desk. You finish your monologue, then the band kicks in as you cross the set. Fortunately, we have a great band. Even when people didn't like anything about the show, they loved the Max Weinberg Seven. The music heightens everything. Now you are more than just a guy in a suit, you're Co-nan O'Bri-en! I think every guy should have that -- if a band played you over to your rental car at the airport, you'd have a cooler day.
Playboy: Is Andy Richter your Ed McMahon? O'Brien: He's Andy. When we were getting started and the network wasn't sure of me, they kept asking, "Who's that Andy guy?" I think we've answered the question. Part of the show's rhythm is my energy played against the quiet steadiness of Andy.
Playboy: Is that rhythm genuine? O'Brien: Yes. Our mentalities mesh. I'm always dissatisfied. He's the guy saying, "Hey, relax. It's good enough." My girlfriend would be happy if I had a bit more of that in me.
Playboy: Who is the guest you can't get? O'Brien: Werner Klemperer. He refuses to revive Colonel Klink, the commandant he played on Hogan's Heroes. Which confuses me. Is he going to come up with another character at this late date -- Werner Klemperer as the aging black man or kung fu fighter? No, he's Colonel Klink.
Playboy: You once said that as a boy you wanted to be like Bob Crane in Hogan's Heroes, the cool guy who "wore a bomber jacket and wised off to Nazis." O'Brien: I asked Werner Klemperer to do some bits as Colonel Klink. He refused. Then a strange thing happened. We're shooting abit on the West Side when Werner Klemperer comes around the corner. Pulling his parka up to his chin, just like Colonel Klink, he walks past our film crew and says, "Hello, Conan. I must say the show is very good lately. Give my best to Andy. Farewell!" It was a cameo appearance in reality. He was there, he was gone. I wanted to shout, "Hey, Werner Klemperer just did a walk-on in my life."
Playboy: Are you losing the boundaries between your life and your job? O'Brien: There are no boundaries. At any minute Werner Klemperer may step in here and give me 30 days in the cooler. It's getting surreal. Just this morning I am going through the lobby downstairs when two girls see me. One girl nudges the other, "Look, it's the guy from Conan O'Brien!" I guess she couldn't quite place me, but she knew which show I was on.
Copyright Playboy Magazine 1998

Dont do sex work even when you’re struggling if you think you will have regrets, believe me you will regret it. I have been suicidal ever since I did it.
Take it from someone who did it last week. I feel worthless and so ashamed of myself afterwards. Been beating myself for it on a daily basis. I know sex work is work but it’s not for everyone.
I had to resort to it last week since my utilities were about to be cut off after 3 months of not being able to pay it due to unemployment. I have an upcoming job but I feel like I wont be able to do it. I hate myself every single day. I did it with someone I trust but it didn’t help.
Feeling like I might have to do it again since the food banks nearby have been closed for 2 weeks now and I am sick of eating rice with salt and I need to afford to start my new job and bus pass o zaren’t free. About to ran out of cat food and I have a long list in my local shelter that I have to pay before I can ask for more.
I hate my life right now and not a single day for the past week I dont hurt myself. I feel like I am doing everything right. Going to food banks and churches and calling organizations that might help but it takes weeks to get a hold with them.
If my mom is still alive I am sure she would be disappointed.
Edit: Just opened reddit and ive gotten 2 disgusting messages already. Please if you have something disrespectful to say keep it to yourself. Thanks for making me feel worse.

Take it from someone who did it last week. I feel worthless and so ashamed of myself afterwards. Been beating myself for it on a daily basis. I know sex work is work but it’s not for everyone.
I had to resort to it last week since my utilities were about to be cut off after 3 months of not being able to pay it due to unemployment. I have an upcoming job but I feel like I wont be able to do it. I hate myself every single day. I did it with someone I trust but it didn’t help.
Feeling like I might have to do it again since the food banks nearby have been closed for 2 weeks now and I am sick of eating rice with salt and I need to afford to start my new job and bus pass o zaren’t free. About to ran out of cat food and I have a long list in my local shelter that I have to pay before I can ask for more.
I hate my life right now and not a single day for the past week I dont hurt myself. I feel like I am doing everything right. Going to food banks and churches and calling organizations that might help but it takes weeks to get a hold with them.
If my mom is still alive I am sure she would be disappointed.

Sexy 40s couple here.
Hubbys rugged, has a salt & pepper bearded with burly build and a easy going daddy vibe. He’s very social.
Wifey has got a amazing tattooed body with curves in all the right places. She is a little less social but loves being a complete slut for hubby and loves making his desires come true. She also is a 420 fan and rum drinker. So she might be a pirate. 🏴‍☠️
We are always looking for the following.
White guys 18-25 for boy toy fucking a sexy milf experience. This can be a guy or a group. Guys must be fit and sexy.
Discreet potential cheating middle aged white dudes local or on buisnes. Wife prefers the neglected traditionally handsome type. No hairy body’s or unmaintained beards.
Couples where the female and male are on the same page. You must be looking use and spoil wife sexually. Hubby on this side will watch and participate some, but this doesn’t have to be full swap.
Females who are dominant that will make my vixen submit to your wishes or you both could dominate me the husband. Your call.
A female who is submissive and will listen to my wife and I. Who will do as instructed with minimal brat tendencies. In return you will be treated to a fun evening of sex, nakedness, food, weed and snuggles.
Female unicorn or any variety’s looking to have a good time.

Title: Traxsource Weekend Weapons May 10th, 2024 *exclusive\* Genre: House, Afro House, Deep House, Funky House, Jackin House, Nu Disco / Disco, Soulful House, Tech House, Indie Dance, Melodic House & Techno, Minimal / Deep Tech, UK Garage / Bassline, Progressive House Release Date: 2024-05-10
DOWNLOAD in 320kbps: https://sharing-db.club/djs-chart/483373_traxsource-weekend-weapons-may-10th-2024/
Tracklist: 1. James Curd, Mr. Flip – Cookin’ (Saison Remix) (5:42) 2. Freenzy Music, Marian (BR) – Pakit Ban (Original Mix) (6:00) 3. 2fox, Laville – Elevation (Extended Mix) (Extended Mix) (6:36) 4. Dr Feel, WUULA – L’Amour (Original Mix) (6:43) 5. N.W.N., Soso – Soul Food (5:27) 6. Deepstar, Donna Allen – Sugar (feat. Donna Allen) (Richard Earnshaw Extended Remix) (6:33) 7. Ben Banjo Field – Be Yourself! (Original Mix) (5:34) 8. Demarkus Lewis – You Mean The World To Me (6:11) 9. The WildViolets – Sunrise (Dr. Packer Remix) (3:29) 10. Fouk – Cobalt (5:40) 11. Masters at Work, Louie Vega, Kenny Dope – Craze Bass Dub (5:10) 12. Souldynamic – Careca (7:09) 13. Local Singles – Fever (Original Mix) (4:56) 14. Inda Jani, Leandro Di – Listen Baby (Extended Mix) (5:55) 15. Darmon, Augusto Yepes & Sounds Of Rituals – Seva (6:55) 16. Akeem Raphael – Music Is Our Addiction (Extended Mix) (5:25) 17. Sebb Junior – The Love I Need (Extended Mix) (5:26) 18. Trinidadian Deep – Moments Of Sounds (6:12) 19. Ch’i, Alison Crockett – Loneliness (feat. Alison Crockett) (DJ Meme Extended Remix) (6:20) 20. Borka & The Gang – Make It (4:42) 21. Hot Since 82, Ron Carroll – Preach (feat. Ron Carroll) (Extended Mix) (8:23) 22. DJ Dove, DJ Disciple – To The Deep (Baustaff Remix) (2:47) 23. Mijangos, Café De Sol – Bahia (2024 Version) (6:15) 24. David Fesser – Slang (6:48) 25. Mujo Deep – Mdambi (Main Mix) (7:19) 26. Tal Fussman – Freedom Defines House (4:41) 27. Andy Faisca – Meant To Be (6:32) 28. Jackman Jones – It’s A Vibin’ Ting (6:07) 29. Franck Roger – Imagine (6:14) 30. Monifah – Testify (DJ Beloved & Matt Knight Remix) (5:45) 31. DJ Sneak – Chicago House music (6:18) 32. Marc Cotterell – Come On Down (Edit) (3:33) 33. Manda Moor – KarateCat (Original Mix) (6:30) 34. Kiko Navarro, GYE – Nanadi (Extended) (8:03) 35. Toronto Hustle, Sean Roman, Javonntte – Fall In Love (5:18) 36. Jorge Montiel, Juan Laya – When the Sun Goes Down (4:39) 37. Modesti – We Are Together (Original Mix) (5:08) 38. SeeMeNot, Kitty Amor – Together, Pt. II (Extended Mix) (6:37) 39. Risk Assessment – The Way I Feel (Risk Assessment Vocal) (6:32) 40. Carlos Barbero, Illinois – Mad Retreat (David Mayer Extended Remix) (6:49) 41. Mr. Nunez – Toma (Extended Mix) (5:55) 42. John Acquaviva, Olivier Giacomotto, Dan Diamond – Let It Go (Dub Mix) (7:30) 43. Pipi Le Oui – Baby Slow Down (Ken@Work Remix) (4:19) 44. Daniel Steinberg – Move (Extended Mix) (5:36) 45. Flavio Martini – Yeah (Original Mix) (6:10) 46. T.Williams , Tendai – Hold On (feat. Tendai) (3:37) 47. Joyce Muniz, Sara Bluma – Beats & Lines (Extended Mix) (5:00) 48. Peter Brown – Sunshine (5:39) 49. FiNE, Enoo Napa, Lizwi – Nomathemba (Enoo Napa Remix) (7:18) 50. GW Harrison – Break Of Dawn (2:41) 51. Magic Number – All I Ever Wanted (Atjazz Remix) (5:08) 52. Rory Northall – You Baby (6:16) 53. Gama – Bad Girls (Original Mix) (7:10) 54. Afro Wav, Mandisa – Out Of Love (Afro Wav Rework) (7:04) 55. Ziggy Funk – Elapsed (5:47) 56. Hotmood – I’m On Fire (4:40) 57. Raredub – L.L.L (4:09) 58. Fred Aster, L Speaks – French Cat (Vocal Mix) (5:30) 59. Stan Kolev & Matan Caspi, Stan Kolev, Matan Caspi – Adinkra (7:56) 60. Paris Cesvette, Muzikman Edition, Lifford – Your Smile (Michele Chiavarini Remix) (7:33) 61. Easttown – Chaos (5:58) 62. Serge Funk – Please Don’t Leave Me (Extended Mix) (6:52) 63. Thiago Cohen – What’s Up (Original Mix) (5:48) 64. Arie Mando – On The Phone (6:04) 65. Dexter Troy – Retro Romance (Original Mix) (6:43) 66. Morttimer Snerd III – What U Waitin 4? (Miggedy’s Full Dizko Slap) (7:12) 67. MAYER (TN) – Savaya Nights (8:06) 68. GZZ – Let’s Get Together (6:20) 69. John Daly – I Get So High (Original Mix) (7:31) 70. Pass The 40 – More Disco (5:01) 71. D3 – September (Vick’s Time Traveler Extended Mix) (10:59) 72. Over12, Rocksolid – Infinite Sorrows (6:03) 73. Venessa Jackson, Frankie Ferrara – Raindrops (Qubiko Extended Remix) (6:47) 74. Le Hutin – Thoughts (Original Acoustic Mix) (3:34) 75. Analog Sol – Solidays (6:49) 76. Sammy Deuce – Burning Desire (6:15) 77. Roy Davis Jr. – Save Your Life (Long Version 2024 Remaster) (7:06) 78. David Fesser – Wicked (5:48) 79. Foo Funkers, Da Funk Junkies – Dress In Good Vibes (Edit) (3:08) 80. Liva K – The Drill (Original Mix) (6:59) 81. Mikki Afflick Showcasing David Walker – Light At The End Of The Tunnel (An AfflickteD Soul Vocal Mix) (7:00) 82. Ucros – Eyes Starry (7:10) 83. The WildViolets – Sunrise (4:13) 84. STUCKINWAVEFORMS, Janahee – never wanted (Boki V.I.P) (3:38) 85. DJ Simi – Total Musy Shake (6:24) 86. Dwson, Keziah Tehillah – Lost In Me (Original Mix) (6:27) 87. Demarkus Lewis – Livin’ For Life (Main Mix) (5:37) 88. Krystal Klear – Rampage (5:46) 89. GIDEÖN, Rush Davis – The Fall Of Rome (Relentless CNT Dub) (6:27) 90. SACRED H3ART – Whats Good (4:45) 91. Maurice Joshua, Meagan McNeal – Lovin’ U (Maurice Joshua House Mix) (6:48) 92. Angel Heredia, Ramon Bedoya – Dame Sombra (5:58) 93. 84Bit, Ma Khe, A.P.(84Bit) – Mind (7:17) 94. Dj Hermes, FLY – Pasilda (Afro Extended Mix) (6:19) 95. Beny Junior – There’s Nothing (4:52) 96. Just Desserts (AUS), Malii (AUS) – U Don’t Care (3:39) 97. Exte C, Céline Languedoc – Lagé Mwen (Main mix) (5:36) 98. Aldo Cadiz, Ki Creighton – For The Floor (Extended Mix) (7:00) 99. Shvrlee – Hold You Baby (5:41) 100. Supertaste – All This Time (3:34) 101. Murphy’s Law (UK) – Every Day, All Day (Extended) (5:56) 102. Dexter Troy – So Right (6:33) 103. Ben La Desh – Heel Goed (6:59) 104. Frankey & Sandrino, Charlotte Riby – Memories (Original Mix) (6:36) 105. MF Productions – Got to get this disco (Extended Mix) (6:01) 106. Christian Smith – We Are The Robots (4:21) 107. Souldynamic – Goleada (7:15) 108. Nick Reach Up, Dave Spoon, Final Cut – Dance the Night Away (Holmes John Remix) (3:17) 109. DJ Mes – Detroit Ratchet City (6:49) 110. Masters at Work, Louie Vega, Kenny Dope – Gene’s First Bass Dub (4:54) 111. The WildViolets – Searching For A Spark (3:48) 112. Eli Fola – Lagos Mentality (7:00) 113. Shvrlee – Funkyo (4:46) 114. Addict Disc – Give Up (6:35) 115. De La Frank – Tribe (4:03) 116. TCTS – Desire (Original Mix) (6:22) 117. Risk Assessment – The Way I feel (Risk Assessment Dub) (6:32) 118. Housego – Good Thing (7:04) 119. Soulcool – Tribulations (7:28) 120. Dave Kurtis – Celebrate This Night (5:09) 121. Theuss – Losing My Mind (Aaaron Remix) (7:20) 122. DJ Christian B – i Need U (6:07) 123. Zsak – House Affair (Daniel Dash Extended Remix) (5:08) 124. DJ Dove, Troy Weekes – I Feel Good (Todd G Remix) (4:08) 125. DJ Sneak – I need you (7:50) 126. Hector Rios Vnzl, Basic Jhonson – Mujeres Dinero (5:20) 127. Da Vynalist, Lebzin – Letswai (Salt) (Original Mix) (6:00) 128. Robbie Doherty – I Want You (Extended Mix) (5:23) 129. C. Da Afro – Run For Joy (5:46) 130. Vampire Sex – Aguacate (Jesse Perez Remix) (feat. London X) (Original Mix) (5:31) 131. Cisco Barcelo, Giulyiano – Spanish Guitar (5:52) 132. Loui PL – On My Mind (Original Mix) (3:56) 133. Tal Fussman – Pace (6:30) 134. Wisso, Jacob Eighty8, Nes Mburu – Umeenda (7:00) 135. James Curd, Mr. Flip – Cookin’ (5:01) 136. Eldar Stuff – Madan (Extended Mix) (4:49) 137. Alton Miller – Gratitude Part II (Main) (6:26) 138. Luca Bacchetti – Storyteller (8:23) 139. Inda Jani, Leandro Di – Keep Going (Lolu Menayed Remix) (6:05) 140. Blaqq & Why’d – Make Me High (6:24) 141. Ethiopian Chyld, Poetic Leestar – Pinnacle (4:04) 142. Beije – Ecdysis (Original Mix) (8:03) 143. Lauti Mina – String Of Life (8:07) 144. Pass The 40 – Back And Forth (5:05) 145. Dexter Troy – Do It (Original Mix) (7:10) 146. Ross Couch – Love Is Enough (6:49) 147. Roy Davis Jr. – 2B Or Not 2B (Roy’s Remix 2024 Remaster) (7:03) 148. DJ Dove, Francesca Maria – Shackle Me Free (Milk Bar Remix) (2:34) 149. Chris Deepak, Konstantina Korma – Papua New Guinea (8:22) 150. AtLows – Jack Breaks (Original Mix) (5:26) 151. Hector – Talk Back (4:53) 152. Peter Mac, Daniele Busciala – My Story (Afro Latin Mix) (7:10) 153. Grace Bones – To The Rhythm (Original Mix) (4:49) 154. Yooks, Hannah Khemoh – Sleep Talk (6:19) 155. Spacefunk Dub – Flying (Extended Mix) (6:05) 156. Quadis, Victoria – Turn Off (Original Mix) (6:34) 157. Kaiz (BE) – Baby Please Stop (5:56) 158. Fahu, Noah Slee – Get2gether (4:39) 159. DiMO (BG), Mr.K (BG) – Carmelo (5:53) 160. Rosario Galati, Yves Murasca – Be Sure to Let Go (Sebb Junior Extended Remix) (5:56) 161. Ken@Work – Disco Esapna (4:28) 162. Adriatique, Eynka – Beyond Us (Extended Hatshepsut Version, Alex Wann remix) (6:03) 163. Genk – The Rhythm Is All You Need (4:16) 164. Martin Eyerer – Anthem, Pt. II (No Intro) (7:23) 165. AnAmStyle – Never (5:45) 166. Byron the Aquarius – Kitty Kat (Extended) (4:32) 167. James Curd, Mr. Flip – Cookin’ (Hotmood Remix) (4:50) 168. Aldo Cadiz, Ki Creighton – Bum Bum (Extended Mix) (6:53) 169. Cisco Barcelo, Giulyiano – Trip To Africa (6:40) 170. DJ Jeroenski, Alex Vasi – Hot Sensation (Extended Mix) (3:50) 171. Addict Disc – Check Out (6:13) 172. Mike Newman – Shevra (Jesus Pablo & Pixel8 Trax Remix) (5:08) 173. Ché Pierce – The Incident (Raw Mix) (6:12) 174. Mauri Fly – The Colours Of The Bongo (Original Mix) (6:16) 175. Shay dT – Rompiendo Barreras (4:29) 176. MistaJam – Do It Like This (Extended Mix) (5:16) 177. Ken@Work – Piano 90 (4:07) 178. Patty Johnson – I’m in love (Europe Version, 2024 Remastered) (6:31) 179. Robert Owens, Audio Soul Project, Alex Zelenka – Make Me Move (Audio Soul Project Vocal Mix) (5:30) 180. CamelPhat, Sohn, Mind Against – Turning Stones (Mind Against Remix) (4:11) 181. Pavel Svetlove – We Play The Biggest Baddest Tune (5:36) 182. Vampire Sex, London X – Aguacate (3:52) 183. Telephones – Aquatrak (FM AM Mix) (7:55) 184. Martina Budde – My Treasures (Original Mix) (5:01) 185. Earth n Days – Stronger (Extended Mix) (5:32) 186. Mr. Nunez – The Warning (Extended Mix) (6:05) 187. Carlo Lio – Kensho (Extended) (5:38) 188. Le Babar, Lee Wilson – Search Again (Extended Mix) (4:42) 189. Afro Wav – Drum & Soul (8:19) 190. temu – Everybody Wants to Rule the World (4:48) 191. Micropacer – Foreign Affairs (5:41) 192. Shvrlee – Phocean City (4:59) 193. Andy Compton, The Rurals, Kayenne Live – Time Keeps Passing (6:04) 194. Mobin Master, Rubber People – Ritmo Selva (Original Mix) (5:09) 195. Techin, ROKKE – Diamonds (Original Mix) (5:59) 196. Both 91 – Same Old Samples (4:37) 197. Flatty Tatcher – Make Me Feel (5:41) 198. Tsouko G – Watch Me (Original Mix) (6:51) 199. Lavan, Corsica One – Tremendous (6:40) 200. Dj Athan’ – Costes Del Sol (George North Remix) (6:10)

The top post right now is a prime example. The person talking about how we have normalized our windows being smashed. In the comments OP and I discussed and Florida was brought up. I linked some sources comparing crime rates and OP ended up mad and talking about illegal immigrants committing crimes that Florida has to deal with and we don’t. I then linked multiple sources showing that illegal immigrants commit crimes at half the rate of native born citizens. After receiving downvotes OP didn’t respond and deleted their comments.
But my point here is this blatant ignorance is shown all through that post. That whole post is just OP not so subtly just wanting to bash a political party and refusing to address it outsides of emotions.
I would assume most of the people have travelled to other major cities. Personally I have yet to travel or read about one where homelessness and crime weren’t major issues. I was recently in Jacksonville and there were plenty of homeless and three separate shootings near the beach within an hour. Saint Paul Minnesota looked better but I was there in December 2022 and it was too cold for anyone to really be outside so hard to judge.
We can do way better. The crime here is out of control and homelessness as well. This isn’t due solely to local politics. No major city in America has implemented policies to end this. For that matter not has any smaller Republican controlled towns. They may not have the crimes you get with large populations but they have similar rates of child sex crimes, drunk driving, domestic abuse, and yes tons of meth. You can’t escape these problems by pretending your party has a solution. Only way we make any progress on these issues is bi-partisanship, which means we are fucked.

So this is silly, I’m on the implant (Nexplanon) and have also used condoms. I think I might have a bad case of Tokophobia because my racing thoughts keep coming back to this. I have also read a lot of posts about people getting pregnant on Nexplanon and it’s seriously scaring me.
It has been soon 19 weeks since I last had sex, since then, I’ve taken multiple tests (clear blue digital and another local brand), all clearly negative except for the first one that seemed to have what I now understand to be an indent line. I feel so stupid for spending so much money on tests.
The symptoms I have are stomach pain, constipation and an episode of strange nausea I had a few months back. I do also feel a strange bump in my stomach on the lower right side that comes and goes.
In early April I went for a blood test that came back negative, but I was taking biotin supplements at the time and didn’t know it messes with the tests and the time.
I’m guessing at this point I would show; I’m petite and slender. I’m aware I’m being highly irrational, but I have had trouble dealing with my anxiety lately.
I guess I’m looking for reassurance so thanks in advance.

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I’m not sure if now is the right time to post this. Maybe I should wait a while and collect my thoughts, but I just need to vent about how I’m feeling.
About a month ago I(32M) met Mandy(28F) at a local bar in my area. I was immediately struck by her smile and beauty.
Just a quick explanation of where I’m at in life. I am a single father of a wonderful son. He turns 10 this year. I have him 50% of the time. Dating had been such a major struggle for me. Probably 60-70% of the time I get rejected immediately when I approach woman for having a son. It used to bother me a lot but I have realized over time that every person is entitled to want what suits them best and I can’t blame anyone for not wanting someone else in their life that has a child. My son is my world and I am up front always about having a kid when I approach woman. If they don’t know right away they know by the end of the first date, if it gets that far.
Back to Mandy. I was sitting at a bar by myself after spending an afternoon by myself working on some photography (just a personal hobby I picked up after wanting to feel better about myself and decided to learn something new). Mandy and her friend came over towards where I was sitting and asked if the area was free for them to join and I told them that it was and they sat across from me. I was so attracted to her instantly. After 10-20 minutes I worked up the nerve to talk to her and we seemed to hit it off great. We spent about an hour talking and after that I told her that I found her to be very gorgeous and asked her for her phone number and a date, she immediately accepted. I felt amazing in that moment. When I handed her my phone she saw my son and asked for confirmation that he was my child and I confirmed. She was completely fine with it. I absolutely despise online dating and try to completely avoid it, so I felt great meeting her in person. She told me multiple times that she was very impressed by my boldness to ask her on a date that way.
Over the next few weeks, we spent a lot of time together. On the first date I told her up front that I was looking for a relationship and not a fling, fwb, ONS, friend, anything like that. We talked about a lot of things including both of our desires to have a large family and multiple children, etc. I did also mention that I needed to make sure it was right for me because my son comes first. She liked that I was up front about where I was at and what I wanted. After the date she initiated kissing me, which I was going to wait for. She then asked me if I wanted to come over to her house, which I accepted, but reiterated that I didn’t want a fling or ONS so if that’s what this was, please be honest and tell me and I will decline.
The next three weeks were kind of a whirlwind. We were going on dates, spending the night together, getting to know each other, etc. we spent 2-3 weeks together and I felt like we had a genuine connection. I was ready to push forward.
She has never had a bf or been in a relationship for her own personal reasons that I don’t feel is appropriate to share. It wasn’t anything violent or related to men but more for family reasons, is what she shared with me. I was a bit concerned but was understanding and I wanted to see where this went and told her that it didn’t bother me, and we could figure it out together.
At about week three of dating, one morning, we had sex and not even moments after we finished she told me she wasn’t sure that this was right for her. This hurt me, but I tried to understand where she was coming from and just asked her if she would give it some time for us to truly get to know each other. She agreed and said of course we should.
Two days later we went bowling and everything seemed great. No sign that she was imminently going to end things. None at all.
One thing she didn’t like about me is that “I’m too nice” but I told her multiple times that we hadn’t gotten to know each other and she hadn’t seen me stressed, angry, frustrated, etc. and that I felt it was normal to see me mostly in that manner while we are just dating and getting to know each other. But I tried to just be myself and show her my sarcastic and witty side so she didn’t think I was just being nice for show and overdoing it.
The day after we went bowling I left on a weekend trip with my son for a planned visit to celebrate my little brother getting a scholarship for college. I immediately noticed a change in how she was reacting and responding to me. I finally asked if she was okay and she said she was, but that she had a lot on her mind and wanted to talk when we next saw each other (planned for a few days after I got back). This immediately set off red flags because I have been there before and seen that outcome.
I asked a friend what they though and they said that it didn’t sound great but not to jump to conclusions, and that they would have major anxiety sitting there waiting for 4-5 days just to be told that I wasn’t in Mandy’s plans anymore. This triggered me and I just told Mandy that maybe we could talk on the phone because I already knew what she was going to say and that I didn’t want to wait that long and feel that anxiety for something I knew was coming.
She was respectful of that and told me how she felt. That she didn’t think she could give me the affection that I needed and she didn’t see a future with me. We spoke briefly on the phone and that was it. This hurt me incredibly bad. I had begun to develop serious feelings for her. I could see myself dating her and spending time with her. She’s amazing. I had purchased a gift for her the evening before she told me this while on my trip (cheap used gardening book tailored to woman with a comedic tone. She is trying to learn to garden and is having some struggles and I recognized it as something she would enjoy).
I told her that she could have the gift if she wanted but didn’t want her to feel pressure to accept it if she didn’t feel comfortable. I don’t have any negative feelings towards her. She was up front and honest about not having been in a relationship and not being sure that she was ready. I don’t feel like she led me on. I believe her that she just realized I wasn’t the one for her. I don’t think she is wrong for the way she feels. It just hurts. I have been alone for an incredibly long time and when I finally started working on myself and not forcing things, I meet her and think that my luck is finally changing, only to feel the same again in the end. I didn’t want a fling or anything, and still got it anyways.
I don’t know why this hurts so much or why I always end up feeling like this. I realize that we only spent 3-4 weeks together and part of me feels embarrassed that I let myself get so attached so quickly. Meeting people (woman specifically) is hard for me and this all happened so fast.
I just want to be myself and have someone value that. I feel like I have never really had that. I don’t know what love feels like. How do I feel accepted and be myself when I constantly get rejected over it? Everyone always tells me “it will happen” or “someone is out there for you” and I’m just tired of hearing it.
Again, I think Mandy is great and have no hard feelings towards her. It’s just a shitty feeling.
Sorry this was a long post with mostly venting. Any advice is appreciated.
Edit: I did tell her when she ended things that I felt like she was scared to take the next step with someone because she had never been in a relationship. She said it’s possible but would be ready “for the right person” but I personally feel like this fear is holding her back from any real connection. I don’t know if it’s true or just my personal feeling.