The book watsons go to birmingham 1963 to read online

Hello, we will be visiting Rio in the end of May - beginning of June, we would love to watch a football game at Maracana and found that Fluminense is playing against Atletico GO on the 1st of June. We've tried to book tickets online, but none of the websites look like they are the official ones and/or charge 100 pounds for one ticket. We've read that tickets are often available on the day of the match from the ticket office,

1. How likely is it that the match would get sold out - we wouldn't want to miss it
   
2. How far in advance shall we arrive to the stadium?
   
3. Is there a nice barestaurant that we should check out if we are in that area?
   
4. How safe is it for two female travellers?
   
5. What is the best way to get to and from the stadium? I imagine getting a taxi straight after the end of a match would be tricky? Would public transport be safe late at night? Is there a taxi rank where you could queue for a taxi?
   

Thanks in advance!

So, here is part 2 of my entitled employee story. We left off with discovering Sally’s retaliation of giving me trash as a Christmas gift after her latest write-up.
So, the next several weeks, I am noticing more problems, but here’s some of the highlights.

1. Ever since we had issues of the office’s checks going randomly missing, Sally had apparently decided to just stop throwing any envelope away when opening the mail. She would supposedly search the envelopes/paperwork & then keep the envelopes with the paperwork. So, instead of doing her job better, she would decide to just stop doing the job at all. After all, you can’t get in trouble for screwing it up if you aren’t doing it, right? However, this resulted in items getting left with the paperwork (which sometimes wouldn’t get touched for several weeks due to being busy) that had needed to be collected or addressed right away.
   
2. Sally’s careless mistakes continued at about the same rate (average of 2 to 3 a week). She would put deposit slips/emails with the wrong office’s report, put one office’s mail in another office’s bin, put one office’s funding papers in another office’s bin, put one office’s bills in the folder for their correspondence & vice versa, put one office’s bills in the folder for another office’s bills, put the new month’s bills in the folder without taking out the old month’s bills so they would get mixed up. I could go on & on.
   
3. Sally would still ask for help on things she shouldn’t need help on anymore, ‘cause I had helped her many times on items exactly like it in the 2 years she’s worked here. I mean, the whole point of asking for help when learning new things on a job is so you can take the input you’re given & use it to get better at the job so you don’t have to ask for help anymore. I mean, what kind of office works by their employees constantly needing to be walked through everything every day? Sally would even ask for help on things no one would need to ask for help on. For example, she asked me, “An office took a deposit to the bank without showing it on their report. How do I write that up in the letter to fax to them?” Um, exactly what you just said to me. Or another time, she asks how long she should wait before calling an office back. Well, how long do you think you should give them? Just use your good judgment. You don’t need help with that! Again, you’ve been here 2 years!
   

On Jan 26, I take the Dec bills, correspondence faxes, & timesheets out of their folders to scan them into the computer. Now, one thing the bills should always have on them are the check number used to pay for this purchase & the date it was paid. The offices themselves are supposed to write this on there, but they don’t always, which is why it is our job to write it on there if it’s missing. I had noticed when I scanned Nov’s bills around Nov 30 that a lot of Sally’s offices don’t have that info written on them. So, I explained to her what needed to be written on every bill/receipt. I now flip through the Dec & Jan bills of her offices really quick to check them. There are quite a few of them with no info written down on them. There’s strike one for noncompliance.
Another task we would do several days a week (that’s Sally’s responsibility) is to check the bank accounts online. She is to look at the bank balances & report any low balances to Greg (or me if Greg isn’t there). She is then to look at the transactions in order to see if anything looks fraudulent. Since we are a loan company, check fraud is very common for us. So, we look at the checks for anything funny-looking, & we look to see if there are any auto debits (like when you use your bank account online to pay for a bill) that would tell us if someone got hold of our bank account info.
On Jan 30, at 1:15 p.m., I asked if any of the bank balances were low (Greg was out of town for a few days). Sally said she had forgotten to check the bank accounts that morning. Weird, ‘cause you had to check the Dallas office to make sure the money we sent them had shown up. How did you get the login sheet out to look in their bank account but then forget about checking all the bank accounts? This just further cemented in my mind that she was NOT checking these bank accounts the way she should. I was 100% positive that all she does when logging into these bank accounts is checking the balances to give to Greg but then never checks the transactions. I know this ‘cause, 1) I’ve observed Sally only logging in to write down the balances & then logging back out (she had some flimsy excuse ready when I asked her about it), 2) there have been auto debits that appeared in bank accounts that we didn’t find for weeks until I happened to see it for some reason & guess what? She never pointed those out to us, & 3) Sally hadn’t bothered to check the bank account balances since Greg was out of town, so clearly she only felt the need to check the balances. There’s strike two for noncompliance.
& even more bad mistakes or decisions:

1. At the end of Jan, we discovered that Sally had mailed the employees’ W2s to the managers’ home addresses instead of to the offices to distribute to their employees!
   
2. We had an office that moved locations to right across the street, so the only thing that changed in their address was their street number (12 Main Street instead of 11 Main Street). I explained this to Sally & gave her an updated list of the office’s addresses. 3 weeks later, we get a call from that office saying that mail we send to them keeps going to their landlord’s house. I check the address labels Sally had created for herself. Sure enough, it had the wrong address on them. I go to grab the lease, & at the top is where the tenant’s new address is listed. & all the way at the bottom of the page in the paragraph titled “RENT” where it lists where to send the rent is the landlord’s home address. & that’s the address Sally had chosen to be the new office’s address on her address labels.
   
3. Sally hadn’t been faxing the offices to ask for bills/receipts that never made it to us.
   
4. I used the last towel on a roll of paper towels, so I went to the cabinets to grab another. We were out. Sally is in charge of keeping track of supplies that need ordering, so I go to Sally & say we’re completely out of paper towels, we need to order some. Sally response: “No one ever tells me when they grab the last roll so I know when to order them.” Um, excuse me, since when is it our job to tell you to do your job? It’s your responsibility to keep track of supplies. You should be checking the level of paper towels, toilet paper, Kleenex, etc., to see when you need to order them.
   

So, I knew she needed a second warning write up for carelessness cause of the numerous mistakes since the first warning write up in the middle of Dec, & I would be giving Sally a first warning write up for negligence cause of her not asking the offices for missing bills & not writing the info on the bills I had told her to do at the end of Nov. However, it was only a few days from Feb, which was the time for performance reviews. So, rather than doing a write up now & then in a week or so doing a performance review that was one of the worst performance reviews I’ve ever heard of, I decided to just do it in one fell swoop. You know, just get it all out of the way with one bad conversation, one bad day, & then both of us can hopefully put it behind us & move on.
I decided to do the performance review & write ups on Feb 5 (Monday). It went much smoother ‘cause Greg was there, so Sally couldn’t really give me lip or lash out by showing attitude & anger like she had previously.
On Feb 7 (Wednesday), I log in to get the transactions for an office who is switching banks. I wanted to get an updated list of outstanding checks so they know how many checks are left before they can close the old bank account. & what do I see? Someone had used the bank account to pay $100 on their AT&T bill. I call the office & find out it was actually them, so no fraud there. But I then ask Sally if she had seen that when checking the bank accounts. She said she didn’t remember. Obviously, I have found my proof that she is either not checking them or isn’t paying attention when she does. I have a discussion with Greg about it, & we decide I need to have a sit down with her about her not doing her job. She is sick on Thursday, so I plan to talk with her the next day she comes in.
On Feb 9 (Friday), I begin the conversation about checking the bank accounts & how important it is. I am planning to say things like, we expect you to do this job, you’ve been told multiple times to do this task, if you’re not going to do the job, then you’re welcome to go find another one, etc. But she cuts me off at the beginning with an excuse of, “Well, I didn’t know what I should be looking for, now I know.” & it broke me. She does this exact thing every time I have to have a conversation with her. She has an excuse ready to go on the tip of her tongue, always spins it around so it’s not actually her fault. It’s always, “Well, I didn’t know that, but now, I do.” & I was just done. I didn’t continue the conversation, even though I needed to, ‘cause I just broke down in tears from the stress of having to discipline her & knowing that nothing will ever come of it, but having our hands legally tied to be able to fire her right now. I cried nonstop for over 4 hours.
On Feb 12 (Monday), I sat down to continue the conversation, this time with a written statement for her to sign.
Me: You respond a lot of the time that you don’t know how to do things, which is very frustrating, ‘cause you’ve been shown multiple times how to do these tasks. It’s very inefficient & wasteful that I have to constantly check all of your work & retrain you on the same thing over & over again. This needs to change. This job is about accuracy & accountability.
Sally: You’re not giving me a chance to improve. I never hear “Good job,” from you. All I ever hear is, “You’re doing a bad job, sign this paper.” I get in trouble every time I ask for help, so I guess I’ll just follow the instructions & hope I’m doing it right.
The problems with that response:

1. You’ve worked here for 2 years, Sally. You’ve had plenty of time to improve.
   
2. The reason you never hear “Good job” is ‘cause you’re not doing a good job. How am I supposed to tell you “Good job,” but also need to give you a write up for doing a bad job? If you’re getting multiple write ups for doing a bad job, don’t you think that’s a sign that something is wrong? I mean, she thinks that managers should be telling their employees good job on everything they do right. No, you’re expected to do these tasks. We’re not going to congratulate you every time you do your basic job requirements like some toddler that needs constant positive reinforcement so they know that doing something right is a good thing! You will hear “Good job” when you are doing a really good job on something, when you go above & beyond!! I mean, do you think Greg tells me “Good job” when I’m just doing my job as expected?!! NO!!! I’ve never had a manager constantly tell me “Good job” all the time!!!! (Whew. Sorry about that. Kinda went on a crazy rant there. I’m good now.)
   
3. Here’s another example of her mentality of “if I don’t do the job, I can’t get in trouble for doing it wrong.” She’s going to stop asking for help instead of using the help I’ve given her to do better. I mean, if you’re making these mistakes when you ARE asking for help, how many more are you going to make when you stop asking for help? How does this make any logical sense?!
   

Well, here’s another chance for some malicious compliance. She claimed she didn’t know how to check the bank accounts, right? Well, my job as the manager is to make sure my employees know how to do their job. So, I need to sit down with her & train her how to check the bank accounts. Again. Even though I know she already knows how to do it. So, every time you tell me that the reason why you didn’t do a job is ‘cause you didn’t know how to do it right, well, we’re going to sit down & waste both our times & annoy you having to be retrained on something you do, in fact, know how to do.
Sally continues making careless mistakes & not doing stuff she doesn’t think she should have to do. Like answering the phones. It’s her job to answer the phones; that’s something I as the manager should be delegating to her. However, she never answers the phone unless I literally can’t. So, I had asked her to start answering the phone more. She will wait until the last possible second before answering the phone. By that time, it’s already rung twice, so I have to answer it before it goes on any longer or they hang up. One time, we were both away from our desks when the phone rang. We both went to answer it, but she was closer & got to her desk before me, put her hand on the phone, & watched me until I got to my desk before she picked it up. With a comment of, “Oh, (laughs) I didn’t want to make you walk all the way to your desk.” Well, you did, anyway, you little jerk.
On Feb 27, Sally asks for help on a report. She says that my note stating the office is over-deposited $28 on report 1 but fixed on report 2 by being $28 under-deposited didn’t work out. She says that they were never over by $28 in the first place. I take the report to look it over. Her calculator tape adding up the deposits shows the bank is in balance, but I don’t see deposit slips.
Me: Where are the deposit slips?
Sally: I haven’t gotten them yet.
Me: (trying to comprehend her logic) Then how do you have the deposit amounts added on this tape?
Sally: I got the amounts from the report.
Me: You…(my brain trying not to implode at this point) you can’t add up amounts to see if the bank has too much or too little money in it without knowing what was actually taken to the bank. The amounts on the report don’t always equal what was taken to the bank.
I log into the bank account & discover just that: the report says they took $500 to the bank, but their deposit says $528. They were indeed $28 over-deposited. I then lecture her (for the second time in a few months) on the correct way to account for the deposits at the bank, that we are only to use the dollar amounts on the bank’s deposit receipt. (The first time was her getting the deposit amount from what was written on the deposit slip instead of what the bank gave us credit for on their printed receipt. The bank had shorted us $500, & we never knew until her deposits didn’t work out when reconciling the bank statement at the end of the month. We were missing $500 for 4 weeks! It’s a miracle we didn’t overdraw the account.)
Another task that we do several days a week is checking the CFPB website. This is a government website that uses federal regulations to monitor financial institutions. It’s like the Better Business Bureau, but more official. Customers can make complaints through them, prompting an investigation to make sure we’re following the federal guidelines. We have 2 weeks to respond to a complaint before it is past due.
On Feb 29, Greg just happens to be looking at an email inbox that he never checks, ‘cause after all, we’re checking the CFPB website, so he doesn’t have to look there, right? There is a complaint in 2 of the portals that have been in there since Jan 22. He immediately marches out & tells Sally about them.
Greg: Aren’t you checking the CFPB sites?
Sally: Yeah, I am.
Really? Then how come you didn’t print this complaint off to give to Greg in the last 6 weeks? She came back from lunch to a second warning write up given by me for negligence.
On Mar 5 (Tuesday), we are working on reconciling the bank statements so we can close the month of Feb. Sally brings me a Jan bank statement for an office.
Sally: This never cleared in Feb.
I look at the bank statement. It’s an electronic deposit of $254 on Jan 31. I remember this. She had asked me at the beginning of Feb why this deposit wasn’t recorded on the office’s report. I explained that since it didn’t show up in the bank account until the last day of Jan, they might not have known about it before the end of the month & so recorded it on the first of Feb. We will wait until the first report of Feb. If it’s still not recorded, then we’ll bring that to the office’s attention. & here she is, clearly telling me she hadn’t brought it to anyone’s attention all month long.
Me: (staring at the bank statement as I try to prevent my autistic brain from exploding at her while also trying to prevent a spontaneous stroke) You didn’t keep track of this all month?
Sally: Well, I didn’t know if it was treated differently ‘cause it was OTBP (One Time Bill Pay, which is the electronic deposit). (Oh, what a shocker, she once again didn’t know how to do something.)
Me: But we talked about this. If it wasn’t on the first of the month, we needed to address it.
Sally: Okay, well, now I know that we treat this the same as other deposits. (goes nonchalantly back to her desk like it was no big deal, like she hadn’t just revealed she had once again disobeyed my detailed instructions)
Me: (seeing her flagrant disregard for the seriousness of the situation & wondering just how on earth she could once again think that not doing her job would have no consequences) This is exactly what Greg talks about over & over, about how we can’t leave errors like this to sit for weeks & weeks, that these need to be dealt with as they happen.
Sally: (still as easy-going as if she had simply used the wrong color highlighter) Okay, I’ll make note of that.
Now, I am getting really pissed off. She keeps saying, “Oh, now I know that OTBP is treated the same as everything else.” That doesn’t matter! It doesn’t matter that you didn’t know it’s treated the same! I specifically told you to take care of it if it didn’t appear on the first of Feb! It didn’t matter what kind of deposit it was! I said to tell me if it wasn’t on the first of Feb!
Now, this was right before she leaves at 3:30, so by the time I’m finished with my text conversation with Greg (‘cause he isn’t there that afternoon), she has already left. But I’m telling Greg that I have once again caught her being negligent, & she’s already had 2 written warnings about this, which means our next step is letting her go. Not to mention, her carelessness is still continuing. He said that he supports my decision to let her go. By the way, the final decision happened an hour after she left. If I had known before she left that we were indeed going to fire her, I would have done it before she left so she didn’t have to come all the way to work in the morning just to leave again.
So, on Mar 6 (Wednesday), I arrive early to work so I can be prepared. I am standing at my desk, watching her come in. This is unusual, so she frowns as she approaches me.
Me: Sally, we need to talk.
Sally: (still frowns at me)
Me: (handing her the typed up notice) We are going to read this together. “When reconciling the month of Jan, around Feb 5, it was brought to my attention that we had a deposit that hadn’t been reconciled. I gave you instructions to wait a report to see if it works out. If not, you would need to bring it to mine & the office’s attention for further instructions. This wasn’t done. It wasn’t until Mar 5 that you brought this to my attention again. You have been told many times the importance of reconciling the financials of the office. You have been warned several times of negligence. This is another example of negligence with respect to your job. All you had to do was follow my instructions. It is for this reason that it is now time to terminate your employment.”
Sally: When did you tell me to do this?
Me: (thinking, “Um, I kinda just told you when I told you do that, but, okay.”) When you showed me the Jan bank statement—
Sally: Yesterday?!
Me: You showed me the Jan bank statement a month ago when you were reconciling Jan. I told you to wait for the first of Feb & then—
Sally: You did no such thing!
Me: Yes, I did, Sally.
Sally: When does Greg get here?
Me: Around 9, like usual.
Sally: I’m calling him, ‘cause this is ridiculous. You’ve had it out for me from the very beginning.
Me: No, I haven’t.
Sally: Yeah, you have. Just like the other 2. (sets her bags at the front door, goes outside, & calls Greg)

1. How could I have had it out for you from the very beginning when we didn’t have problems for the first year & a half you worked here? If I’d had it out for you from the beginning, you wouldn’t have had a job the past 6 months. Need I remind you what Greg told you about the timesheet thing being something we fire someone for on the spot, but that Molly had gone to bat for you & gave you a second chance? Why would I have done that if I had wanted you gone from the start?
   
2. “Just like the other 2.” She’s talking about Irene (who had left in Feb 2023) & another employee (who we’ll call Phil). Phil had been fired (by Greg, by the way) for continuing to watch movies on his phone at his desk despite being told multiple times by Greg to not do that. & Irene? She wasn’t fired. She gave her 2 weeks’ notice. & we then discovered when going through the work she’s been doing as we started taking over her tasks that she didn’t just not do jobs. She would actually forge the work so she wouldn’t have to work. “A bank imbalance of $2.65? Well, I’ll just add it to the imbalance that’s been building up for who knows how many months & just label it as an over-deposit from the end of the month. That way, I don’t have to look into why the bank isn’t balancing.” But no, I had it out for them, apparently.
   
3. Does she really think that calling Greg was gonna reverse my firing her? Does she really think I would do something as drastic as writing her up or firing her without discussing it with my supervisor first? Did she really think I would do this behind his back?
   

Apparently, she did, ‘cause Greg confirmed that Sally tried telling him about all the stuff I’ve been doing to her as if he didn’t know. She hung up on him when he explained that he’s been told everything as it happens & he supports this decision.
Sally: (storming back into the office & towards her desk) I’m not signing anything.
Me: Ok.
Sally begins packing up her desk. I had known she kept a lot of personal items at the office, so I had gotten a big box or 2 out & placed them nearby for her to use to pack up her desk.
Me: We can give you a box if you need it.
Sally: I don’t need sh** from you guys.
Me: The only thing we’ll need is your office key.
Sally: You’ll get it when you get it. I’m packing my desk.
Me: Ok.
I go back to work, keeping an eye on her as she packs to make sure she doesn’t take anything she’s not supposed to or damage any company property. Sally at some point decides to use the boxes she didn’t want from us to pack up her many items. She takes both boxes to the front door where her bags are & sets them down to put the last of her things in. She picks up one box to take outside.
Sally: You are the worst manager ever. (goes out the door)
Me: (shrug)
Sally: (comes back in for the final box) Seriously, you’re the most evil person I’ve ever met. (leaves)
Really? I rank worse than the guy that beat you up? I’m worse than him?
I continued watching her to see if she’s going to come back to give up her office key. As she packed up her car, another employee had arrived (we’ll call him Randy). He had run into her on the way in & asks me if Sally quit. I explained, no, she was let go. I then see that Sally has gotten behind the wheel of her car without coming back to give us the office key.
Me: Well, I guess we’ll just change the locks.
Randy then takes it upon himself to go out to her car. He phrased it very gently by saying he wanted to spare her having to come back in to turn the key in.
Sally: I guess Molly didn’t have the balls to do it herself. (hands the key over)
& then…she was gone. Despite having to do the entire corporate office’s work all by myself & falling steadily behind little by little, I have never been more happy. I had forgotten how much I loved my job & how much I couldn’t wait to get to work. I haven’t been this stress-free in 6 months, & it feels fantastic! & the great part is, I’m not really falling as far behind as I expected to without her. Having to do 2 people’s jobs by myself is only affecting me a little. Really goes to show you how bad she was for the company & for my job when she disrupted everything that much. For example, me & her would get through maybe 5 to 6 offices’ reports between us in a single day when playing catch up after closing the previous month. One day? I caught up on 10 offices’ reports in a single day. By myself.
Oh, did I mention she smoked marijuana most days on her way to work or while on her lunch break? We could never actually prove it. But, come on, you don’t smell that strongly of marijuana on only select days if you aren’t smoking it recently. If it was leftover from the smell of your house or car, you would smell like that every day. But it was only some days she would come into work or back from lunch smelling like that. Obviously, smoking on the job. So very glad to be rid of her & her awful skunk smell. Although, I do wish her well on a new job search. I don’t wish ill on anyone, ever. But I am just glad she’s no longer my problem to deal with.
(Added 2 months after she was fired): By the way, I am actually gaining on my work. I’m not only not behind on my work, I’m actually getting it done soon enough to work on extra stuff. Also, out of the blue, we’ve started getting about 3 to 4 sales & scam calls every day since Sally left (for things like better Medicare benefits, better retirement benefits, & even one time recently where “Walgreens” was calling to ask if I still had diabetes). I’m convinced Sally signed us up for calls as retaliation. I hope they die down soon, especially as they are starting to get rude. (Our response to every one of these is “Sorry, this is a business.” This one guy responded to me with, “This is my job.” I said, “I understand this is your job, but this is a business. I am not allowed to take personal calls.” He said, “Why?” I said very slowly & firmly, “Because I’m working!” He started to say, “Can you explain to me why—” I hung up. Jerk.)

Hello, we will be visiting Rio in the end of May - beginning of June, we would love to watch a football game at Maracana and found that Fluminense is playing against Atletico GO on the 1st of June. We've tried to book tickets online, but none of the websites look like they are the official ones and/or charge 100 pounds for one ticket. We've read that tickets are often available on the day of the match from the ticket office,

1. How likely is it that the match would get sold out - we wouldn't want to miss it
   
2. How far in advance shall we arrive to the stadium?
   
3. Is there a nice barestaurant that we should check out if we are in that area?
   
4. How safe is it for two female travellers?
   
5. What is the best way to get to and from the stadium? I imagine getting a taxi straight after the end of a match would be tricky? Would public transport be safe late at night? Is there a taxi rank where you could queue for a taxi?
   

Thanks in advance!

First of all, I was drunk. It was only my second time having hard liquor in like 5 years and I barely drink.
My 2 year old was going through a sleep regression so my husband was with him while I put my 5 year old to sleep. I had a few mixed drinks by this point(my husband was sober). I still felt relatively coherent just very loose and maybe extra lovey.
I read my 5 year old a book and then told him I love him so much and that I'll always be here for him if he ever needs anything or wants to talk. He then asked me where babies come from.
I had always told myself that I would be very open, honest, and chill when my kids finally asked me questions like that. I was sexually abused growing up and its because my parents shamed me for asking any sexual questions so I felt like I couldnt tell them what was going on. Unfortunatley, I think I was WAY too open with my son and I'm freaking out about it. Here's how it went:
Son: "Where do babies come from?" Me: "babies come out of a hole in the mommy's private parts(I've told him already women have vaginas, not penises)" Son: "How do they get in?" Me: "a magical liquid goes in and then they grow in the belly" Son: "Where does it come from?" Me: "from a penis" He looked confused and asked me where and I thought he was confused because I do still say pee pee too much so I tried to explain again penis is his pee pee and point to it and he still seemed confused so I lifted up his pants to point and he freaked out and I was like no no no I won't touch it I just wanted you to know what your penis is.
Son: "but how does it come out??"
I thought I was prepared but I was NOT. I panicked and just was not ready to tell him it goes into the vagina and the details of sex, so in an attempt to wrap it up, like an absolute idiot, I told him about masturbation instead.
Me: "oh... uhm... you just pull on it... or uhm... go like this or something(I used a freaking jerking off hand gesture), but... but you don't have to worry about that yet. It won't happen until you get much older. You might feel certain feelings as you get older and it's totally normal to want to explore that. Just remember your body is yours to explore and no one else. Not even mom or dad or friends or teachers and no one should touch you there unless you're hurt or you need help. There are weirdos out their that like to touch kids or make kids touch them. Some people even put private parts in their mouth sometimes and you shouldn't let anyone make you do that either. You should always tell us if anyone tries to trick you or make you do these things and you can always ask dad and I any questions and if you're ever curious about your body or girls bodies. We can get you an anatomy book which is a book about bodies, but it's important you never ask to see or touch other people's private parts either okay?"
Thinking I nailed it and everything was fine, I went to bed after that. Then woke up in an absolute sober state of panic about how much detail I had given. I've reviewed the conversation over and over for months and can't stop freaking out(this happened in february). I'm so paranoid he is going to go to school in 3 months and be like "my mom told me how magic liquid comes out of your penis when you do this" and then cps is going to get called.
I am so devastated I was drunk. I am so mad at myself and horrified. I am scared to drink again. This talk was so important to me and I feel like I traumatized my kid. The craziest part is I asked him about it a couple times since and he says he doesn't even remember where babies come from and didn't seem interested. Which makes me feel like I either had an insanely realistic dream, or made him so uncomfortable he will never come to me now. I can't stop feeling like I ruined our lives because of how wildly inappropriate I was and one day he will remember about how I taught him what masturbation is at 5 and it will mess him up. Im worried that instead of protecting him, I just set him up for extra curiousity and made him more vulnerable. I truly feel like I need to go to therapy over this because I can't stop beating myself up.

Hello! I have a 5 year old VUL with Prulife. I got it when I was 21 and been paying 3.1k monthly. With the negative feedbacks I've been reading about VUL here in reddit, I'm now thinking of terminating it as early as now. Btw, I have already paid a total of 158k for 5years and the fund value has 50k now. I'm well aware that the 1st to 3rd year premium will go to the insurance part (100,50,50%), and on the 4th year onwards, it will be 100% allocated to the investment part (that's how I understand it at least). Although based on my policy book it seems that the projection of the fund value have been achieved. But I'm not sure in the long run because I've been reading some that they didn't get enough of what they have paid. So yes I no longer want to continue with it.
Now I need your insights on what insurance should I get that would cover me the same amounts as I have with my current policy:
Benefits: Lump Sum (upon death): 2M Accidental: 1M Critical Illness: 1M Daily Hospitalization: 1k (or more)
And with these benefits, how much do u think would it cost me? And which insurance company would you recommend? Btw, I'm F 25Y and a breadwinner.

I recently made some tweaks to improve video performance according to this page:
https://exputer.com/guides/settings/amd/
However, my Lockpicking frame rate is in overdrive again, which is a PITA. It shows on the upper right of the screen and oscillates between the 70's and the 120's, but when I go into the Lockpicking screen it rockets up 320 fps!
I had a much more detailed list bookmarked on a site called SlothyTech, but sadly, that page has been taken down, perhaps because of the recent update.
In Adrenaline, My Performance Report shows as Optimal, with an Average FPS of 313.2. The game looks great, but one or more of my new settings is affecting the Lockpicking, and I cannot find any specific information online about which Adrenaline setting or settings would affect this screen in the game.
There doesn't seem to be a mod to fix this, and I'm stymied by my scant knowledge and experience with Adrenaline as well as my limited knowledge of the wide array of video card settings.
I've read on Steam that I could try setting vsync to Application Default, but "vsync" doesn't appear anywhere in the Gaming Settings screen for Fallout 4.
I tried turning off AMD FreeSync and Radeon Enhanced Sync one by one, and then both at the same time, but after launching the game after those three changes, it either stayed the same or the frame rate spiked even higher.
Are there settings outside the Gaming tab for Fallout 4 that I need adjust? If so, I don't know where to look or what to adjust.
FYI, my monitor is a GIGABYTE G27Q 27" 144Hz 1440P Gaming Monitor, 2560 x 1440 IPS Display, 1ms (MPRT) Response Time, 92% DCI-P3, VESA Display HDR400, FreeSync Premium.
I just saw that there's a mod called High FPS Physics Fix on nexusmods. Would that work for my issue?
I'd really appreciate some tips!

I recently made some tweaks to improve video performance according to this page:
https://exputer.com/guides/settings/amd/
However, my Lockpicking frame rate is in overdrive again, which is a PITA. It shows on the upper right of the screen and oscillates between the 70's and the 120's, but when I go into the Lockpicking screen it rockets up 320 fps!
I had a much more detailed list bookmarked on a site called SlothyTech, but sadly, that page has been taken down, perhaps because of the recent update.
In Adrenaline, My Performance Report shows as Optimal, with an Average FPS of 313.2. The game looks great, but one or more of my new settings is affecting the Lockpicking, and I cannot find any specific information online about which Adrenaline setting or settings would affect this screen in the game.
There doesn't seem to be a mod to fix this, and I'm stymied by my scant knowledge and experience with Adrenaline as well as my limited knowledge of the wide array of video card settings.
I've read on Steam that I could try setting vsync to Application Default, but "vsync" doesn't appear anywhere in the Gaming Settings screen for Fallout 4.
I tried turning off AMD FreeSync and Radeon Enhanced Sync one by one, and then both at the same time, but after launching the game after those three changes, it either stayed the same or the frame rate spiked even higher.
Are there settings outside the Gaming tab for Fallout 4 that I need adjust? If so, I don't know where to look or what to adjust.
FYI, my monitor is a GIGABYTE G27Q 27" 144Hz 1440P Gaming Monitor, 2560 x 1440 IPS Display, 1ms (MPRT) Response Time, 92% DCI-P3, VESA Display HDR400, FreeSync Premium.
I'd really appreciate some tips!

I was re-reading Goblet of Fire recently, and around the end of the book, an angry Dumbledore tells Fudge "You fail to recognize that it matters not what someone is born, but what they grow up to be !".
So, I just wondered...How would Rowling react if someone shows her that quote, and tells her to read it aloud ?
Personally, I think she'd try to justify it with some bullshit argument, or just go mask-off and say "I'm friends with Posie Parker anyways, it's not like I wasn't accustomed to hypocrisy"

I never thought I would have a story to share in one of these threads, but it finally happened. I apologize for the length (so long it has to be split into 2 parts), but this one is a doozy.
For the sake of telling the story a little smoother, I'm going to explain some things up front. I (female, early 30s; let's call me Molly) am the manager in the accounting office of a very small loan company. Like, really small. We have less than 30 offices with only 2 employees at each office. For this reason, we are kind of low-tech, old-fashioned. I'm talking paper timesheets that get faxed to our office (we're also the corporate office that handles the payroll). Our office hours are 8:30 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. with a half-hour lunch. Me & my employee (who we'll call Sally) work this shift. Our boss (who we'll call Greg) is the owner & CEO. He works in the office starting at 9:00 a.m. till whenever he leaves for the day. Most of the time, that's around the time we leave, sometimes it's earlier due to errands he needs to run.
So, in Oct 2022, Sally (female, early 30s) gave us a note that her doctor wants to have daily appointments with her indefinitely. She let us know she would need to leave at 3:30 every day. Greg granted that request & even gave her the opportunity to come in early so she didn't miss any of her 8 hours each day. So, she began coming to work between 6:45 & 7:00 & would take however long of a lunch she needed to so she would have an 8-hour day.
Due to a combination of our fiscal year-end work in Oct & Nov 2022, playing catch-up from Dec 2022 to Feb 2023, & the other coworker (who we'll call Irene) leaving the company in Feb 2023 so we had to play catch-up again for several months before we got used to the bigger workload, I hadn't been able to pay too close attention to Sally's work. But in the middle of Aug 2023, I began to suspect her. I realized that the tasks Sally had in the morning would usually take me an hour & a half to do, which meant I would be relatively finished by the time I would arrive at 8:30. Sally, on the other hand, would only have stuff halfway done. Now, I knew Sally worked slower than me since I knew the job better than she did, but this still seemed very slow. I began to suspect Sally was either not arriving as early as she said she was (she was the only one in the office before 8:30) or she was arriving on time but wasn't working.
On Aug 21 (Monday), I decided to come in early to the office since I had to make up time due to a doctor appointment later in the week. So, I arrived at work at 6:40. 6:45 rolled around...no Sally. 6:50...no Sally. 7:00...same thing. Sally arrived at 7:20. Now, ok, maybe she ran into traffic. However, that's a bit of a coincidence that the one day I show up early unannounced is also the day she happens to be late. But I waited to see what time Sally would write down on the timesheet. However, she didn't write down her time until Tuesday right before she left. She had written down that she had arrived at 7:05. I asked her about it, and her response was "I must have copied it down wrong from my spreadsheet." That's strange, 'cause you hadn't arrived at 7:05 any other day that week. Just where did you copy it down from?
Now, I am curious as to what time Sally puts down when she believes no one has seen what time she arrives. So, for Sept 4-15, I would arrive in the parking lot across the street & read a book & eat breakfast while I wait to see what time Sally would arrive. Every single day, she would arrive around 7:15 or 7:20, but would write down 6:45 or 6:50, a half hour discrepancy every single day. & we have no way of knowing how long she's been stealing a half hour every day. She could have been doing this for the past year since her schedule changed.
On Sept 18, I write down Sally's actual times from these 2 weeks on a paper & tell her to correct all the times I indicated. Sally says that she will use the office clock to write down her times from now on. Wait a minute, you're saying that your phone is a half hour earlier than the rest of the world? But only when you arrive at work. When you go to lunch & leave work, it matches the rest of the clocks. & then switches during the night so your arrival time can be wrong again the next day? Wow, that's a pretty glitchy phone you got there.
On Sept 20 after Sally left, I installed a camera that connects to an app in my phone. I put the camera in a place where it wouldn't be able to see any computers/paperwork & turned off the microphone (I didn't want to risk any company info being seen/heard). I only needed to see when Sally arrived. Where I ended up placing it, I was able to see Sally where she sat at her desk.
On three of the following days, Sally would arrive 10 to 15 minutes after the time she would write down. I speak with Greg about this, & we decide to write her up. By the way, usually when an employee is caught forging the timesheet like this, it's an immediate termination. At any other office, she would have gotten fired in the beginning of Sept after I first discovered the half hour forgery. I am deciding to give her a chance to make this whole thing right.
On Sept 26 (Tuesday), I give Sally the write up when she arrives.
Sally: I'll sign it, but I don't know why. I mean, I get here at 7:00. (Ok, there's a sign right there. Who signs an official write up when their employer is lying or setting them up?)
Me: I've observed you arriving between 7:10 & 7:15.
Sally reads the write up & then keeps it at her desk for a bit after signing it. After plenty of time, I ask for it back. She grabs it, so I lean forward & hold my hand out (our desks are right next to each other), but Sally flings it at my desk. The whole thing is made better by the fact that Greg is out of town Tuesday thru Thursday. So, Sally proceeds to be angry & have an attitude all the way through Thursday. She refuses to talk or answer the phones. She does that tossing/flicking-papers-around, aggressive-typing, heavily-setting-things-down thing people do when they're frustrated or angry (which she did all...day...long). She sped out of the parking lot & down the street so fast that I could hear her engine rev & tires squeal from inside the building.
On Sept 27 (Wednesday), Sally is still doing that slamming things thing. I enjoy not responding to her whatsoever. I could see out of the corner of my eye that she would slam something down & look at me. I wouldn't give any kind of reaction, wouldn't look at her, & it would piss her off. Sally would then start slamming things around again. I admit, that was fun.
On Sept 28 (Thursday), I see on the camera that Sally arrives at 7:00, but then I watch her sit on her phone for 45 minutes! She is still having attitude issues, &—unbelievably—is still slamming things. After she leaves for the day, I then see the calendar that Sally keeps on her desk as I was passing by. On the box for Sept 26 (the day she was written up), she had written the words "F***ING JOKE!". The audacity of her to write that in plain view of everyone in the office & think she wouldn't get in trouble for it.
On Sept 29 (Friday), Sally arrives at 7:00 but sits on her phone for 30 minutes WHILE VAPING! (Not sure about other cities or states, but it's illegal to smoke or vape inside a building in the city where our office is.) But Greg is back this day, & I had been texting him what's been going on. He had texted back he wanted to do a meeting on Friday. So, the 3 of us go into the breakroom for a meeting.
Greg: So, Sally, what's been going on with this timesheet thing?
Sally: I just, I forget to write down the time when I arrive.
Greg: Ok, well, whether it's done on purpose or through negligence, we can't have wrong times on the timesheet. So, from now on, you won't be able to come to work before Molly gets here at 8:30. Now, are there any other problems you'd like to discuss with us?
Sally: (begins getting worked up) I just, I feel like I can't talk to her. She creates such a hostile work environment.
Now, I am blown away. Me? Hostile? I'm autistic, so I'm naturally shy & hate socializing, so I usually don't talk to anyone very much. Everyone I tell this story to, their eyes widen when I mention this, 'cause there's no way anyone would ever describe me as hostile.
Luckily, Greg interrupts her to defend me: This isn't a hostile work environment.
Sally: (backpedaling) Well, I mean, she gets mad at her printer & bangs on it, & that just flashes me back to stuff. I mean, I'm trying to work on myself & the anxiety, & she just sends me back.
Oh, so now, we're claiming we have PTSD & that my "violent" actions are giving her flashbacks? Um, who is it laughing right along with me every time my printer jams? (By the way, I know she's lying about the PTSD, 'cause I have a couple friends with PTSD & recognize the signs. Sally doesn't show any sign of fear or panic or shrinking away from things, nothing like that. There are no signs whatsoever of her being alarmed by anything I do.) Oh, not to mention the double standards. You're allowed to slam things around (for 3 straight days, by the way), but I'm not?
Anyway, we wrap up the meeting after Greg underlines (for Sally's benefit) that everyone in the office needs to get along.
On Oct 2 (the next Monday), I had a good drive & happened to get there at 8:20. Sally arrives at 8:25 & comes in, stopping at my desk.
Sally: (annoyed) Are you gonna be early all week?
Me: (frowning & caught off-guard) Um, I don't know. It just depends how long my drive takes.
Sally: (with a snarky attitude) 'Cause I had to keep driving around waiting for you, so if you're gonna be early, I'd like to know.
Ok, first of all, no one is forcing you to drive around. You can park your car in the parking lot. Do you really think we're gonna fire you for sitting in the parking lot while you wait for me? We only said you couldn't come in & work before I do. & second, it's none of your business when I get to work. My shift starts at 8:30, therefore, you should aim for 8:30, just like Greg told you to do. How am I supposed to predict the exact minute I get to work? & you're gonna get angry at me 'cause I didn't show up before my shift starts? Since when is it a requirement of mine to come into work before I start working?
Well, a bit of malicious compliance in this entitled story: if I can see I'm going to arrive at work more than 5 minutes early, I stop at the store just down the road & shop until 8:30. 'Cause guess what? Sally gets there who knows how early & sits in the gas station across the street, waiting for me. Fine, you wanna be that way? I can be petty, too.
By the way, Sally has a radio talk show she listens to from before I get to work until it ends at 10:00. I'm not into talk shows, but it wasn't too annoying (most of the time), so I didn't say anything about it. The reason why I started having a problem listening to it was that they would get into inappropriate things (s** toy review, for example). It made me super uncomfortable when they did segments like this. From the moment Sally was written up, she started only listening to the show on her headphones, thinking she was punishing me by me not getting to hear the show. Joke's on her. Sally did me a favor by not having to listen to that thing.
Sally was also told that she is no longer allowed to take smoke breaks on the clock. As no one else in the office takes breaks but chooses to work through them, this change would be made so all employees were equal now. But here’s the interesting thing: Sally suddenly stopped taking smoke breaks at all, but her bathroom breaks grew more numerous & longer. When she had been taking smoke breaks, the alarm on her phone would go off at specific times, such as 2:00. She would then go outside to take her smoke break. After the on-the-clock-smoke-break privilege was taken away, the same alarms would go off, such as 2:00. She would then disappear to the bathroom for 15 minutes. & I even smelled smoke in there when I went in there right after one of these long bathroom breaks.
Ever since the write up, there’s been attitude every once in a while. Most of the time, I have no idea what it is I did that could possibly have set her off that day. All I know is that Sally’s suddenly slamming things around again (hmm, PTSD cured now, is it?). & she’s still constantly making mistakes (like she’s always done).
On Nov 27, Sally is working on the Funding (loan proceeds funded onto a customer’s debit card). What we do is get the list of customers, determine how much the office funded that customer, transfer the money from the office’s bank account to the holding account, & then transfer the total from the holding account to the account that directly funds the debit cards to replenish the money. We had two customers with similar names (say, John Smith & Jack Smith). Sally hadn’t paid attention to the whole name & had applied John’s $0 funding to Jack. However, Jack had been funded $250. So, that money was missed, & I had to make a separate transfer for it.
On Dec 4, Sally is working on the Funding & writes down $0 for a customer. But the report from the office says he actually got $96.
On Dec 8 & 9, we discovered 2 checks that were supposed to be sent to our office (one from Oct, one from Sept). Neither had been cashed, & neither had ever reached us, even though we had the rest of the paperwork that would have come with those checks. Due to the dots I had connected, I had a pretty strong hunch that Sally wasn’t thoroughly checking the mail envelopes to make sure they’d been completely emptied before they got thrown away. I believed these checks were still in some envelopes that were then thrown away by Sally.
On Dec 11, on the bank reconciliation sheets we work at the end of the month (like balancing a checkbook), one of Sally’s offices was out of balance by $68, & she couldn’t find it. I couldn’t find it, either. I pulled out the one done for the month before. I couldn’t find it there, either. But I did notice one thing. The checks that hadn’t cleared the bank yet didn’t add up to the total amount of outstanding checks Sally had written down. By $68. I go back to the month before that one. There were a total of $68 in old checks that never got cashed & therefore should have gotten written off on the fiscal year-end at the end of Oct. But she hadn’t transferred them to the new month’s sheet. So, now, we have to hold onto them for a whole year to write off next Oct.
The same day, I went through all the offices to double check the GL codes that we post the expense checks to (GL codes determine where an expense gets coded, e.g., post an electricity payment to the GL code for utilities). The day previously, Sally had gotten several GL codes incorrect in the Miller office. She had forgotten to change the codes from the one for the Checkbook to the ones for the expense account. She had caught those ones since it affected the balance of the Checkbook, so I had helped her fix those properly. However, there were expense checks sent to a GL code that wasn’t the right one that Sally hadn’t caught.
I talk with Greg, as I feel that every time I turn around, I am either retraining Sally on stuff I’ve trained her on multiple times, I’m correcting mistakes on stuff Sally should know how to do by now (‘cause again, I’ve trained her multiple times), or I’m disciplining Sally about stuff she’s doing wrong. Greg asks how many mistakes due to carelessness she’s made in the last 2 weeks. I check my notes & tell him 4. He says that’s too excessive for an accounting office. We need to write her up.
So, I made the write up, but I just know I’m going to be dealing with the same attitude as the last time I had to write her up. & guess what? Greg’s out of town till Thursday again. I used my phone this time to record the audio of the interaction. That way, if Sally has attitude towards me again, I’m able to play the recording to Greg so he can hear what Sally’s like when he’s not here (which is why the following conversation is pretty much word for word).
On Dec 12 (Tuesday), I sat her down first thing.
Me: So, in the past couple weeks, I’ve noticed some errors happening due to carelessness, & they’ve become a bit excessive for an accounting office. The most important thing in an accounting office is accuracy. That’s why we focus so much on thoroughness & attention to detail. So, whatever needs to happen to lessen those errors, whether it’s slowing the pace of the work itself or double & triple-checking the work before it’s finished, it needs to happen. For example, when I work the payroll, after I get the total for all the offices, I then subtract each person’s individual hours to double check my entries. That way, if there is an error, at least I know it wasn’t ‘cause I was going too fast or not paying attention or something. So, whatever you need to do to decrease the mistakes, please—
Sally: What errors are we talking about?
Me: I have a page here with the items from the last couple weeks. (hand her the write up)
Sally: (reads the pages for a minute) Ok…
Me: So, whatever you need to do to—
Sally: (talking quickly ‘cause she’s pissed now) I’m gonna need more time & focus strictly on Funding. I don’t wanna touch mail, I don’t wanna touch anything else. I wanna focus strictly on that. ‘Cause I’m getting 80 plus a day (which was a lie, we never get nearly that much), & now, I’m gonna start getting in trouble if it’s not 110%. I am human. I will make mistakes. So, if that’s not allowed, then…(shrugs) let me know, I guess. I’ll talk to Greg & I guess figure something out. I am human, & I am gonna make mistakes, A. B, I feel like crap. He (Greg) has been in here sick the last week. I caught whatever he has. I’ve been hacking. I’ve been sicker than sh** the last week. I am trying. You guys usually have until the 12th to close the month. Since I’ve worked here, I’ve closed before the 8th. Yeah, I made mistakes. I told you I made a mistake on the Miller office. I knew what happened. So, to throw it in my face again that I already made that mistake is kinda rude, but…(shrugs) I’m actually kinda shocked to see that on there.
Me: Well, you did catch the errors involving the Checkbook, but there were other mistakes on that office that you didn’t catch, & that’s the reason that was listed on there.
Sally goes back to her work, & I decide to not ask her to sign the write up I had given her right away since she was diving right into the Funding. She had expressed she wanted to focus solely on it to minimize mistakes. I wanted to use positive reinforcement to convey that this was good behavior & good thinking, so I decided to wait for her to finish before asking her to sign & return the write up.
Now, here’s the issues with her little outburst above.

1. Sally is complaining that she’s human & makes mistakes & we’re not allowing mistakes. We’re not saying that she can’t make mistakes, ‘cause she’s right. Everyone makes mistakes; I make mistakes. What we’re saying is that she’s making mistakes much too often.
   
2. Sally says the reason for these mistakes the last 2 weeks is ‘cause she’s been sick the last week or so ‘cause she caught what Greg had (do you see the timing problem there?). Also, these kinds of mistakes have been happening for months & months. I only brought these examples up ‘cause they were recent.
   
3. Sally pointed out the fact that she closes each month really quick. We don’t care how fast things get done. Our goal isn’t to get things done quickly but to get things done accurately. If we happen to get it done quickly, that’s just a bonus. We would rather things go slow than to have errors causing problems or costing us money ‘cause we didn’t take the time to make sure it was correct.
   
4. Sally states it’s rude that I’m throwing her error back in her face (you already know my reaction to that). She obviously doesn’t know how a job works. Just ‘cause we discussed this error already doesn’t mean it can’t go on the write up. This is just one of the examples that required us to do a write up. We’re not doing this ‘cause we want to write you up or that we’re looking for excuses to get you in trouble. We’re doing our job. If a situation needs correcting, we have to correct it. We can’t just ignore it. & obviously, me talking about your errors all these months hasn’t helped. You’re still making the same mistakes. So, now, we’ve had to escalate to a write up on paper.
   

Sally doesn’t say another word. She, as expected, starts doing her tossing-things-‘cause-I’m-pissed-off thing. I just go back to my work. I’ve said my piece, now we can put it behind us & move on.
Now, we have until 10:30 to make the transfers for this Funding program in order to get the money back to the account the same day. We are still missing the paperwork for 2 customers from an office. (FYI, when we’re missing paperwork, we call the office & ask them to fax it. If we still don’t get it when it gets close to the transfer deadline, we call again & just ask for the amount to get it done.) So, at 10:20, Sally turns to me.
Sally: What do I do for these 2 customers? Do I just skip them?
Me: (frowning) Do what you usually do when you don’t have the paperwork in time. Call the office—
Sally: (in a sharp tone) I did. (she’s assuming I mean call the office to tell them to fax it)
Me: (ignoring her attitude outburst) Call up the office & ask for the dollar amounts.
Sally: But I don’t want to write down the amount without seeing the actual paperwork. If I’m gonna get in trouble for errors now, I don’t want to take down what could be the wrong dollar amount over the phone. I mean, I think that’s only fair to me.
Me: In the instances that were mentioned, they weren’t cases of taking down an amount over the phone. They were instances where we had paperwork or a report to see the amount. We would never write you up if there was a possibility that the office gave you the wrong amount over the phone.
Sally stares at me for a second & turns back to her desk. I turn back to my own work as Sally then calls up the office. I had to deal with her attitude the rest of the day: throwing mail into the mailbox, throwing open the letter folding machine so it made a big bang on the table. I was trying to still be the usual friendly, professional person I am at work; I told her “See you tomorrow” & everything. Sally wouldn’t talk to me unless she had to.
This is when I discovered that Sally has a habit of lashing out at me when she gets in trouble. The first write up involved her trying to drag me under the bus by claiming I’m hostile. This time, it was more personal. See, we do a Christmas gift exchange at the office; we each buy each other a gift. I had searched over & over trying to find something Sally would like. I finally found this desk calendar with gnomes on it (she likes both of these things), so I got it & a couple small items. I open my gift from Sally, & among a few cheap little things, I found…Sally’s own nearly empty bottle of nail polish remover. Wow, this is the thanks I get for not firing you back in Sept with the whole timesheet forgery thing?
& this is where I leave you until Part 2, the conclusion.

Finance student here, I was wondering what a business I can start online?
I want to start an online business/service where I can easily generate sales with high profit margin. I want it to be passive but I can operate it from time to time.
I’m not interested in service work. I have money and time right now that I can invest.
I don’t have any financial barriers when it comes to school. Any money that I get from my internship or scholarship. Just sit in my bank account.
FYI: Yes I do have a Tax-Free Saving Account and invest it. Yes I do have an emergency account.
If I were to start this business I need it to actually work.
Since:
I did a snow shovelling side hustle when I was 14, where me and friend shovel people driveway. We made a total of $500.
I created a Fiverr account on selling my editing(colour grading service). Resulted in no sales and I realized I lost interest.
I started a drop-shipping website selling necklace, I created a couple social account. Only made $30.
I started another drop-shipping website selling bathmat specifically cater to seniors. Website was layout properly, I cold email, connect on LinkedIn, call many different people and companies within the senior care industry. I got rejected and ghosted from all.
I realized drop shipping isn’t for me.
I know people saying I need to work on my sales and that true. I’m currently taking a sales program at my university.
But I’m tired of waiting to start a business, I already read many YouTube videos, Ted talk, dive into the internet and people Reddit post about their journey etc. I rather start a business and learn from my failures and go through the journey.
Now is the only time I have access to money, time and resources all around me at the university. Which I won’t get in the future without having to pay a huge price.
I’m trying to make it as a student and milk my student status. I seen so many students starting a passion project and startup.
I do have a passion project for acting. But I want to business one where I can make a lot of money.
Any recommendations or advice?

Hey guys, I was hoping someone could help me. I had a early 2015 MacBook Air with i5 processor that I spilled a bit of water on(not a lot). I don’t have a backup or Time Machine. Also my photos on my MacBook were not backed up to iCloud. I bought a refurb machine mid 2014 with i7(I didn’t know the year of my MacBook or how to lookup until after). I tried to swap the ssd over to the “new” MacBook thinking it would be just like the old one if I did but on boot up I kept getting an error sign. When I boot into online recovery my user profile and picture for the profile comes up just like the old one did but it will not let me update the os on it either in recovery mode. Did I have the right idea but the hardware between the two is too different? Os on the old one was 12.7.4 and the “new” one was advertised as Big Sur. I know I can connect my old ssd via an enclosure and recover the files but I’m going to have to get a new one anyways and since my old one was working perfectly fine for my needs I really just wanted to get a refurb and continue on. Any help would be appreciated @macbookair

I finished my first draft of this story almost six years ago. When I started editing the first chapter it became a short novella. It kind of became my Covid project. When I started on the next chapter, the new first chapter, I’ve gone through so many iterations of it I’ve literally lost track of how many edits and versions I have saved on my drive. I’ve grown frustrated with myself over the lack of progress because I want to move forward but trying to go to the next chapter I just start the same pattern of writing and re-writing. I feel like part of my problem is indecision paralysis. I see so many things or ideas I like I can’t decide on one. Or I try to do to much and then I have enough awareness to know it’s a jumbled mess of things going on. How do you focus? Is there a rhythm or tool you use to help choose and finalize a draft? Or to focus your thoughts?
I’ve written a three book series (self published on kindle) before this and I never had struggled through so much mental gymnastics. I’ve also had three kids since that series was published 😂. So there’s that. They’re wonderful…and very distracting. Thank you for reading this far! I welcome any and all feedback. I’ve got tough scales.

Hello there, i recently (<1 year) started piano lessons. I have a teacher and he understands quite a lot about music theory. However i wish i could learn by myself, its how i usually prefer learning (reading books mostly).
When i asked my teacher about this he only told me i should go to musictheory.com (i think?) and learn the keys. He didnt recommend me any books or the likes.
Should i start learning by reading books recommended in the side- bar, or is learning from my piano teacher the best option (even if it feels slower?)
Thanks

sorry this is really long id appreciate any support from anyone willing to spend the time reading though, also feel free to skim.
my ex(21f) left me(20m) a week or two ago, it was really toxic. she's diagnosed w bpd but clearly has much worse issues.
ive been feeling really empty without her. the things we'd watch together and do together all feel lonely now without her around and im having trouble finding myself engaging in my interests without being distracted thinking of her.
she emotionally cheated on her ex with me before breaking up w him and dating me which I didn't process that way at the time because she would make justifications that its ok because he has a cuck fetish etc but it made him uncomfortable so it was definitely not in the bounds of that.
around a month into dating me she started getting drunk once a week or so and would yell at me. during the first time she said i was gonna blame my experience with my physically abusive ex, who also had bpd and npd symptoms, on her. i had never blamed her for any of these things though and at the time i remember thinking it felt like a red flag that she was openly accusing me of something that never happened saying it will in the future since it felt more likely that she may end up becoming in some ways abusive in the future if thats how she's acting, sadly that worry came true.
the getting drunk and yelling at me continued a lot. i dont even remember a lot of the times because they just started melding together because of my ptsd.
she hid her friend getting cheated on in order to protect the friend who fucked her bf, and herself for keeping it to herself while it happened for months. she said i just took it personally when i explained how her mocking me had hurt my feelings and was being extreme gaslighty about it saying how i was telling her what she meant by it and that if i feel something then it must be true. what she was referring to was me explaining that she called the thing she mocked icky and was mocking it because of feelings of it being icky to her and that mocking me for that reason inherently is still mocking me for judgemental reasons even if it was meant to not be mean or tease me and that most people would be hurt in a situation where they get mocked for 20 minutes about something that she also already knew i was embarrassed about. my explanation was pretty valid and not claiming anything about how she felt and i even went back in my texts to prove to myself that im not crazy but she treated me like i was an insane gaslighter over getting hurt by it and then started essentially saying she cant say anything and started just apologizing just to end the conversation etc which is an unhealthy behavior she did a lot during times were i finally criticized behaviors.
she has issues around getting really mad if people disagrees with her and yelling etc and after the relationship i had two old friends of hers both confirm their experiences of experiencing the exact same behaviors. she treats it as if everyone who said anything about her behaviors are just "fucked people" and she "doesn't care what they think" despite the fact that one of the friends is someone she had only ever spoke well about. the other person has lying issues so i didn't take everything at face value but they literally also showed me screenshots of her behaviours which made it pretty clear about some things being very clearly true.
like for example my ex would lie about how that friend must secretly be talking shit about her and making her online friend group hate my ex because she no longer got invited to play games with them like among us, but it turned out that when my ex played games with them she would act extremely toxic and like gaslight people to way too much of extremes that it didn't make the game fun by saying shit like she doesn't wanna play with them anymore because theyre just targeting her because she doesn't play games etc. or her talking about how badly she wanted to die and such and thinking that nobody there cares about her and asking for validation extremely often. i was also shown her directly lying that i was gonna be homeless to her friend when i wasn't gonna be and hadn't said anything like that. that friend also knew about her going to bars to make out with guys while in her last relationship and my ex had also told me how she was breaking cheating boundaries a ton around a guy she fell in love with during her relationship with her last ex. when i told her it kinda sounded like cheating she got upset and said her ex didn't give a fuck about her anyway.
its just sad that she had so many disordered behaviors and she essentially just cuts off anyone who may criticize her in any way shape or form. like at the end of the relationship the reason we broke up was because i was criticizing her behaviours and trying to explain she shows disordered symptoms that are affecting me and she said i dont actually know who she is and she can't stay in a relationship with someone who sees her as someone she isn't. some of the behaviors i criticized was that earlier gaslighting thing that she still believed she was right for and i was just being crazy, also her yelling at me and crying saying i would wanna date my friend if we were in an open relationship and calling me a liar etc as i told her no i wouldn't and that it was hurting my feelings, and also criticizing that she had made a hypothetical where she asked me if i would worship her if she was god and got upset that i said no.
when she asked me the god thing at first i said yes because i knew how she may react to me saying honestly that its a hard thing to answer and then she asked me if im being honest and asked me to reassure that i would worship her and i felt uncomfortable and explained that i dont really know what id do in that situation because its not real and worshipping someone else is already something i dont really personally do as I'm not religious.
when i criticized her asking that question and how it was weirdly narcissistic and unhealthy, especially since she got upset and disappointed that i said no, she got mad at me saying i need to not bring it up. she didn't explain why it was bad to bring up or anything she just got pissed at me for bringing up her saying it at all.
this is a common behavior she has, she gets mad when people criticize her or when people disagree and will usually argue and/or yell. this was something both of the friends i talked to had experiences with her doing and one of them even stopped talking to her for awhile because of it at a point. both these friends instantly believed me about her being abusive because of her own behaviors and its so frustrating that shes essentially made it out that everyone except her must be crazy or getting some sort of manipulated idea from me when she is literally actively minimizing her behaviours that multiple other people have already recognized without me saying anything. its such a frustrating situation i had really thought she was the love of my life.
she would do these lovebombing tactics where she told me how she wouldn't be able to live without me and would rather die than break up, would tell me im the best guy she's ever met and shit like that and i have a friend who has bpd and has been in therapy for 8 years and she said those things are all red flags that wouldve made her leave a relationship asap and that its just not healthy and i felt weird about it all at the time but i still ended up convincing myself that it will be ok and she'll seek help.
she would often try to say stuff like she has super good control of her bpd and doesn't split anyone etc because she's been through 6 months of therapy but ive seen her split friends and talk about how little they care etc. i also know that most of the time in therapy she would skip or show up drunk a lot and ive had lots of times where i end up explaining therapeutic techniques to her when shes feeling bad when ive not even gotten to do therapy yet i just spent a lot of time researching on bettering myself for a year after my physically abusive relationship while i was seeking help for my disabilities and ptsd. ive tried to explain to her that ive seen her split people a lot and she said i dont get to decide what is or isnt splitting and got mad at me when i was saying it based on observed behaviors and i just dont know how someone is supposed to tell if shes splitting then is it only splitting if she says so that feels inaccurate because she isnt the type of person to acknowledge something like that.
i guess thats all i have to really write rn thank you for reading i just feel really alone right now im bad at handling situations like this its hard to cope with losing someone i loved so much in such a painful and difficult way.

Hey everyone,I’m looking to make some new friends!
A little about me:
¤Interests/Hobbies: NBA, F1, gaming, swimming, fishing, 3d printing, cars ¤Favorite TV Shows/Movies: Marvel movies, only murder in the building, frieren, dungeon meshi, interstellar etc. ¤Music: Indie rock, pop, classic rock and anything that I like the rhythm ¤Occupation: Working at a factory 5 days a week ¤Favorite Food: noodles
I’m pretty easygoing and love discussing books, playing online games, and going on adventures. I’m looking for friends who are kind, funny, and adventurous, and who enjoy similar activities.If you think we might hit it off, feel free to drop a comment or send me a DM. Looking forward to meeting some awesome new people!
Cheers,

I recently started reading Cinnamon Bun, and the author introduced a potential romantic interest in the book, but I'm not sure if Broccoli is actually going to end up with someone or if she is a character who stays single despite lots of potential partners popping up. I don't enjoy the will-they wont-they stuff (it stresses me out) so can someone please spoil the romantic plot of the story? Like sharing the potential love interests that are introduced, who she dates, and who she ends up with if possible/applicable. (Sorry if I'm asking for a lot of information, idk how big/small the romance is in the series yet).
Thank you for your time!

Hi, guys! I'm back. I've just finished reading Starset's new novel, A Brief History of the Future, and i really needed to share it.
Some of you may know me from my previous posts on the Starset lore:

• In "The Starset lore Part I: Transmissions", I covered the events told in The Prox Transmissions (Starset's first novel) and linked them to the album Transmissions.
• In "The Starset lore Part II: DivisionsThe Starset lore Part II: Divisions", I tried to gather the information we had on the new storyline, mainly based on Divisions content (Horizons hadn't released yet by then) and I shared my speculations about its meaning.

Now that I've read this book, I want to sum up what we have now. Keep in mind that, for obvious reasons, this post is all spoiler content. If you plan to read the book(s) I encourage you to do so, because I'm unveiling some of the main "plot-twists" in the second book. I won't be writing a literal summary of the book's plot (I will focus on the content more than in the "drama"), but key elements of it will appear. Also, I'm taking for granted you are already familiar with the contents in The Prox Transmissions -if not, I recommend you reading my post or just dropping this post altogether and go read the book!
If you have already read the books, don't plan to read them or don't care about the spoilers, stay with me along this long post because you will discover much about Divisions, Horizons... and what's coming next!!
Let's go then!
In a unknown year the novel starts in a world dominated by a state called the New East. it's not explicit in the book, but we have reasons to identify the New East with China: it is a current superpower and the powerful people in control have Chinese names. This state is governed by a Governing Committee, composed by Ministers that stay in charge for 5 years, with an exception: the Minister of Security, also known as MinSec. He is the head of the New East's secret police and he is to remain in charge for life.
Prior to 2024, Aston Wise (remember he was one of the protagonists of the previous novel!) is locked up by the US Government. They force him to create the BMI and its Architecture. In 2024, as I have said, the New East manages to obtain it and the big war starts. This part of the story is also explained deeper in a video (called "Initial Debriefing", available in Starset's YouTube channel since September 9th, 2021), with some minor incongruencies:

In the year 2010, the US Defense Advance Research Projects Agency -or DARPA- began work on a neural link system known as the "Brain Machine Interface" developed under the highest levels of secrecy. This technology was to be used in covert espionage campaigns with the goal of giving the US a major advantage in the ever-growing cyber warfare battlefield. The intention was to use the "BMI" on unsuspecting foreign agents, giving US Intelligence a remote line into their minds. Launched in 2020 to great success, the BMI provided a window into the intentions and secrets of numerous potential adversaries. Then, in 2021, a botched operation allowed this technology to fall into the hands of an undisclosed state who would then use it agains the US itself for over a decade. This state -which came to be known as the New East- used this technology to syphon intellectual property and assert control over the US, allowing it to rise swiftly as a global superpower. In the early 2030s, the crippled US launched an attack to the New East. This was quickly thwarted. However, as the New East was fully aware and prepared, in the end, the US and its allies capitulated and became known simply as the New West. Citizens of the New West, now mostly impoverished laborers, were offered BMI implantation -sold on the wonders of its amazing benefits. Eventually though, all were made to comply. Only then did the true goals of the New East become apparent.

The New West is a de facto and de iure protectorate. The New West has its own local police -that dealt with murder and robbery-, but the military and, most important, the Civil Authorities (CA), are controlled by MinSec -focused on thought crime.
Soon after the end of the war, some people were drafted for the reclamation in Virginia by the New East army. This was a forced-labor suicide mission because it was a fallout zone. The goal was the recovery of documents from the US, such as blueprints for advanced weapons and intel. Those who survived, developed NeuroTIDS (neural tissue interface degeneration syndrome) because of the radiation.
Once in control of the US (now New West), the New East implanted into all citizens the BMI. Now, people deal with three layers of reality: unaltered reality (UR), augmented reality (AR) and virtual reality (VR). Considering the BMI, there are three states:

• BMI glowing white (normal state: people are in UR with elements of AR).
• BMI glowing blue (also called frosting: people are in VR having some pleasant experience, while looking absent and apathetic in the outside). See an example of person frosting in the Diving Bell music video.
• BMI glowing red (also called supplication).

(There also exists the Everything Machine in this storyline. Indeed, people ate only printed food, as real food as reserved for the New East).
On top of this, there’s an intelligent algorythm or artificial intelligence in the Architecture, called the Overseer. It is capable of detecting thought crimes by accessing a person's sensory input and also altering their perceptions (for example, blurring texts from banned books). When a thought crime is detected, CAs intervene and turn the perpetrator into a supplicant. Supplicants are stuck in VR prisons while their bodies wander in the streets or are collected and put into "corrals". See an example of a supplication facility in Where the Skies Ends music video.
The protectorate of the New East upon the New West is mantained thanks to the Quantum Comunicator, which keeps both connected and also connected to the Architecture
On the other hand, there's a rebel network still in function. They manage to meet and develop their plans by modding their BMIs, so that they become undetectable under the eyes of the Overseer. Their plan is to trap the MinSec and use their credentials to get access to the Architecture and destroy it from the inside.
(In Manifest music video you can see examples of people frosting, people supplicated, the modding minor surgery, the rebels, the CAs using their "freezing" weapons and supplicating civilians and a bigwig from the New East, maybe the MinSec himself).
Also, it is said that the New East didn't manage to conquer all the Old West (US) territories. There's rumours about the socalled Western Territories, free land where some former rebels already live, though its real existence it's in never confirmed in book. In The Breach music video we can see how a family leaving in the New West takes the opportunity of escaping into the Western Territories during some sort of shutdown.
The New West capital is established in Philadelphia, where the events in A Brief History of the Future are set. Here's the Quantum Communication Center and the New West Center for Advanced Innovation (CAI), where the most brilliant programming students are sent to develop their skills and work for the New West/East. One of this students is one of the protagonists of this book, Thomas Bell (again, someone whose name we are already familiar...), who quickly proves to be the best one and gets to be chosen as the Director's assistant. Eventually we get to discover the Director is Aston Wise and later on we find out he is the Architect himself.
A feature or app of the BMI that will reveal crucial to the plot is the Shadowcast: one can frost but, instead of being conscious in a VR, "enters" inside a celebrity's mind for an hour and experiences all they are experiencing live (the user is passive and can only perceive, but not intervene or influence the shadowcast celebrity into doing anything). You can see an example of this in Symbiotic music video, where the user is finally able to successfully Occupy the body of the celebrity. In the book, when this happens, the person occupied has their BMI turned purple.
In the book, Occupation will be a tool used by Bell and Wise, but also by the government, in an attempt of using the supplicated bodies to their own purposes. The original project launched by the New East and commissioned to the Director of the CAI (Aston Wise), was called by Wise himself 'Project X'. New East wanted to present it to the citizens as a way of emancipating from work: while working, you can let yourself be occupied by the Overseer, who wil perform your job while you can be having fun in VR. In Icarus music video you can see an ad made by the New East to promote the "benefits" of this technology (called Werk here); the other ads are based on previous BMI technology (AR, VR and Shadowcast). (Fun fact: have you noticed that the actor in 3:12 is the same from the Ricochet music video?).
As I said in the beginning, it is not my goal to sum up the book's plot and even though I have already spoiled you much info and some plot-twists, I'm not telling you here how the story of the protagonists develops and how it ends. However, I can't refrain from telling you this: the last page of the book has a QR that redirects to a video that has me really excited.
In the video, we see a man. He tells us it is 2048. In spring 2026, the New East took over the US. But... guess who's back! Oh, yes, the Order! Or rather they were there all along. In fact, the man who's talking to us is Stephen Browning! On July 4th of 2026, after the New East invasion, the Order tried to launch a spacerocket to get to "a lonely planet" (Prox!), but it was intercepted by the New East and then the army destroyed their base, so they lost all hope in a future on another planet. However, they managed to hide a "time mechanism" (I guess the same they had in The Prox Transmissions) and, finally, sent a message to 2024, warning us about this future that awaits us. Then he sais:

Dear Order friends, the time has finally arrived. We're headed to space. We're going go Prox.

This announcement matches Starset's video from six months ago ("It begins. And it ends. Now."), where we see images of astronauts and spacerockets, evoking space travel. Wow! Did you miss that "space-y" aesthetic, plots and sound from Transmissions and Vessels? Because it sounds like we're getting them back! Note that at the end of this video, the three dots of the BMI are occupied by three symbols:

• The bottom one is the symbol of the Order, appears at the beginning of each chapter in The Prox Transmissions.
• The middle one is the symbol of Divisions album, I'd say it's a symbol of the rebels.
• The top one is... unknown? It is quite similar to me to the symbol in Faultline, but I guess it represents the "following chapter"? Who knows.

It also matches the music video for Starset's last single, Brave New Word! And there's more news: the end of the video linked in A Brief History Of the Future ends with a "to be continued in Spring 2025".
So... Again, there are some questions left unanswered (and I love that!): How are both books linked? Are they the same Aston Wise and Thomas Bell, but in an alternative timeline? From where will the story continue? (The Order in 2048 colonising Prox?). I'm soooo excited to learn what's coming next and to listen Starset's next album (I love Brave New World).
Let me know about your impressions, opinions, theories... feel free to add any info I could have missed, to correct any piece I could be mistaken about, etc. Thank you so much for your attention (I literally created this account only to write these Starset lore posts I feel very invested to and English isn't even my first or second language), I hope you enjoyed it and found it useful!!

So to start, my job is dead end and became the most miserable place I could ever imagine. I have worked my way up from this job since I was 16 in high school to now a 21 year old graduating next year. I work 40+ hours a week and do college classes online.
I’m graduating at a super low pace because I work while completing classes (9 credits a semester). My major is business and I currently work as a restaurant manager. My GM quit a few weeks ago and I’m left for the role, which I don’t want (for many, many, many reasons I won’t get into). I want to quit my job and find internships / expand my degree while working to make money and pay my bills. However I’m struggling to find good paying jobs (I currently make $20+ an hour with ZERO benefits). Also the fact that I’ve worked at this job for so long and only compared school to my current position, I know nothing else. I grew to hate and move on from the restaurant industry because I just feel much more worthy than that environment. I want internships and entry-level positions but it’s so difficult with little to no relevant experience, also living in the middle-of-nowhere Pennsylvania. All jobs I find online are based in Philly, Harrisburg, or somewhere hours away from my schooling. (I enrolled in local CC). For someone who wants to be free and have opportunity, I seemed to get comfortable at home. I live independently with my significant other and we both have similar paths in the same direction so I include him in my life plans because we both want the same things (he just graduated with the same degree I’m currently going for and he’s an entrepreneur with pending patents on a product he created - so I’m not worried about him) me on the other hand, I’m unsure of what I should be doing and how I should be networking? This is long and wordy but I truly feel a bit at a loss. I’m just so miserable being in my comfort zone and I don’t know where to jump? This sounds so typical for a college student to rant about, but thanks for reading!

The typical advice for someone going through a break up is "engage in hobbies that you enjoy and make you happy etc". But what if you shared every bloody part of your being with them? Reading, I can't look at my books without thinking of all the books we shared together. Painting, all I can think of is the paintings I used to create for him. Learning languages, all my brain wants to remind me is of the French we picked up together. Etc etc
Any advice from anyone who feels like this too?