34 AFAB 183lbs 5'4"
For the past 6-7 weeks, I've been dealing with what my PCP diagnosed as Candida Albicans infection. It started around the anal area. It has now moved to the entire genital area (vaginal and anal), under both arms, inside and outside my right ear, my stomach, neck, and face. I've taken 4 doses of Fluconazole and treat with Nystatin cream twice a day. I'm taking daily showers or a 15-20 minute bath with Domeboro soak. Nothing is working, I'm in extreme pain, and I would appreciate some guidance.
Other relevant information: Pregnancy w/ vaginal birth 12 years ago. PCOS w/ metabolic syndrome and insulin resistance 7 years ago. Taking 1500 MG Metformin daily. GSHV2 9 years ago. Taking 500 MG Valtrex daily. Depression/Anxiety. Taking Lexapro. ADHD-Inattentive. Taking 40 MG Vyvanse. Other supplements: Magnesium glyconate (sleep), prenatal multivitamin (low Vitamin D and Iron in the past). Former cigarette smoker. Current vape user. No new sexual partners in the last 5 years. No new soaps, detergents, etc.
The amount of pain I'm in is just miserable. I've been trying to follow my PCP's instructions to the letter, but nothing is working. I can barely walk around my house at this point and it's interfering with my job and being able to take care of my kid who was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes this past year and may have celiac's disease. I may just be impatient to have this clear up and I know my PCP has given what's considered the gold standard for Candida skin infections. I'll be talking to her on Monday about seeing a dermatologist.
My questions: Has anyone seen this situation in their practice before? What are the next steps usually taken? How can I stop it from spreading further? Is there any possibility the infection could have gotten into my bloodstream (I started having headaches, chills, fatigue, abnormal amount of gas, and dizziness w/in the last 3 days)? Is there some way to get some relief or speed up the healing process? Are there any best practices for this type of infection besides keeping it clean, dry, and medicated? Would anything described warrant a trip to the ER (asking bc my partner has been very worried about me and has mentioned it several times)?
Thank you for any feedback.

CBS
https://www.cbssports.com/nba/news/2024-nba-playoff-predictions-expert-picks-for-second-round-with-knicks-celtics-favored-to-move-on/

Thunder vs. Mavericks

	Brad Botkin	James Herbert	Jack Maloney	Sam Quinn	Colin Ward-Henninger	Jasmyn Wimbish
THUNDER VS. MAVERICKS	Thunder	Thunder	Thunder	Thunder	Thunder	Thunder

ESPN
https://www.espn.com/nba/story/_/id/40098272/nba-playoff-picks-experts-celtics-cavaliers-thunder-mavericks-conference-semifinal-matchups

Dallas Mavericks (5) at Oklahoma City Thunder (1)

Kendra Andrews: Mavericks in 6
Jerry Bembry: Thunder in 6
Tim Bontemps: Thunder in 7
Israel Gutierrez: Mavericks in 6
Chris Herring: Mavericks in 7
Tim Legler: Mavericks in 6
Zach Lowe: Thunder in 7
Bobby Marks: Thunder in 7
Dave McMenamin: Mavericks in 6
Kevin Pelton: Thunder in 7
Ramona Shelburne: Thunder in 7
André Snellings: Mavericks in 7
Marc J. Spears: Thunder in 7
Ohm Youngmisuk: Mavericks in 7
NBA.com
https://www.nba.com/news/2024-nba-playoff-predictions-conference-semifinals
Thunder in seven. Brace yourself for plenty of bouts of brilliance from Doncic and Irving. Pressure won’t affect them. But the question is whether they’ll be able to maintain that standard of play an entire series. That’ll be tough against OKC, which finished the regular season ranked fourth in defensive rating. Gilgeous-Alexander has been a steady performer all season with a supporting cast that fits almost perfectly. The Thunder are deeper and healthier overall. — Michael C. Wright
Bleacher Report
https://bleacherreport.com/articles/10117168-complete-2024-nba-playoff-bracket-predictions-and-key-player-matchups
West Semifinals: (1) Oklahoma City Thunder vs. (5) Dallas Mavericks

1. Despite the difference in seeding this projects to be an extremely close series.
2. OKC's 3-1 regular-season series advantage should come with a big asterisk, as two of their wins came when Luka Dončić didn't play. The only contest featuring both Luka Dončić and Kyrie Irving ended in a 146-111 beatdown of the Thunder on Feb. 10.
3. The team that controls the glass could have a big impact on this series, as Dallas and Oklahoma City were almost equally bad at rebounding the ball this season. The Mavs ranked 26th in total rebound percentage (48.5 percent) while the Thunder were even worse at 28th overall (48.4 percent).
4. This should be an exciting series to watch, as both teams finished in the top seven in pace of play.
5. Key Matchup: Luka Dončić vs. Shai Gilgeous-Alexander
6. A meeting of two players who should both finish in the top three in MVP voting, Dončić and Gilgeous-Alexander averaged a combined 64 points per game this season.
7. Dončić did his best to carve up the OKC defense, averaging 34.0 points, 11.5 rebounds and 13.5 assists in his two games against the Thunder this season. Gilgeous-Alexander was actually held in check, as his 22.0 points per game vs. Dallas was his second-lowest average against any team this year (17.5 vs. Milwaukee).
8. Prediction: Thunder in 6
9. Gilgeous-Alexander is simply too good to not increase his regular-season scoring numbers, and the Thunder are the deeper overall team. Chet Holmgren's rim protection should help keep Dončić and Kyrie Irving from getting easy looks at the rim, and we trust Thunder head coach Mark Daigneault in this series more than Jason Kidd. OKC moves on.

YAHOO
https://sports.yahoo.com/nba-playoffs-predictions-for-celtics-cavaliers-and-every-second-round-series-152650098.html?guce_referrer=aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuZ29vZ2xlLmNvbS8&guce_referrer_sig=AQAAACh6YNhv-wV0jkr0N8euB8rImxSejkYi54-4L0rq5oOjMU-pcosqOECmVGQAE-RpNDRwez7vtXoTmcM5K5r143bJsJNu4lKo-1KhrTcb3trT_BMiaVbW0J4iUDWCw68aywZfo2E4e4z4NpNzSzzPv8WHnOs9hAZQUvSnBEKrSL3i

Thunder vs. Mavs: Who ya got?

Rohrbach: Thunder in 6. As talented as Luka Dončić and Kyrie Irving are, and they are remarkable, Oklahoma City is just as impressive — and deeper — as a team. People will learn a lot about Shai Gilgeous-Alexander, Jalen Williams and Chet Holmgren, who all play beyond their years.
Goodwill: Mavericks in 7. Calling for the upset! Not because Dallas is better — Oklahoma City is, and more dynamic. Will the Thunder be desperate enough to match what Luka and Kyrie bring? They do have Lu Dort and Williams to defend those two, and Shai’s length on the wings, and Chet at the rim. Wait, why am I calling for the upset? Only because Dallas will recognize the desperate moments of truth and Dončić will be the best player on the floor late. But I’m not confident about this pick.
Fischer: Thunder in 7. They were as ready as advertised in the first round, sweeping New Orleans without Zion Williamson standing in their way. OKC has a much more daunting task with rivaling an All-Star playmaking combination of Luka Dončić and Kyrie Irving that Brandon Ingram and CJ McCollum hoped to be. The Thunder, though, simply know what pros want, despite their youth and inexperience.
Devine: Thunder in 7. In what promises to be an absolute war, I think I trust Oklahoma City’s cadre of perimeter defenders to at least make Luka Dončić and Kyrie Irving work for everything more than I trust their Dallas counterparts to tamp down on Shai Gilgeous-Alexander and Jalen Williams. That, plus OKC having home-court advantage, nudges me over to the side of youth being served.

Hi everyone: looking for the best gateway and WiFi router for my gigabit upload/download connection. Would a UDM work for me? I’m open do a multi-device solution (like gateway + WiFi AP) but trying to keep things affordable. I found an “A-grade” UDM on pexbo.com but I’m unsure but the A-Grade means: https://pexbo.com/products/ubiquiti-unifi-dream-machine-udm-us-a-grade?_pos=4&_sid=c7744b526&_ss=r
They have it listed without the A-grade for $309.

Hello there, I need some advice or some sort of guidance. I just gave GATE EE this year in my final year of BTech (from a state govt college Tier-3). I just have studied for 3 months from YT and able to qualify with 483 GATE Score (General). According to some College Predictor, I am able to get MTech in good NITs (maybe in top 5 NITs) with specialization in POWER ELECTRONICS (which is ig next best option to VLSI or Electronics related specialization, which get me good college). [I don't have much chance in COAP, so I don't bother about it.]]
My question is since I might be able to land into top NITs in Power Electronics, and since I have just prepared Maths, General Aptitude, Control Systems and bit of Analog Electronics and Power Electronics, how could I utilize this 2 months before MTech to study and be ready in Power Electronics so that I don't fall behind.

Title's kinda misleading sooo.... I'll explain
I (19M) am currently still living at home with my father (40+). We do not have a very good relationship with each other at the moment due to an array of disagreements and traumas that happened because of my mother (his ex wife). However, that's not the issue at hand right now. I was sitting in my room trying to open up minecraft when my father suddenly comes into my room with only a bed-sheet on, asking if he could borrow a pair of pants. I was incredibly angry and uncomfortable with him doing this so I yelled at him to 'Get out of my room while he was naked'
My father then proceeds to get incredibly angry and yell at me for lying and making him look bad. He starts saying that I'm untrustworthy. He says that I'm accusing him of things and says that he's afraid of me because he believes I'm going to call the police and call a rape threat on him. I start arguing back that he doesn't know what hes talking about and that hes acting like a teenage girl. He then proceeds to flip me off and get into a yelling match with me.
In short he's now making 'new arrangements' for me tomorrow? Idrk I just want to know if im the asshole for telling my dad to gtfo of my room while he was naked, even though he 'technically wasn't'?
Edit: I know it's been a few comments and its only been around 35 minutes but I've genuinely been considering your guys' perspective and I've come to realize that I reacted the way I did because of shit from my past.
Tw for abuse- For a bit of context, my parents are both addicts and have had their own problems with one another. My dad did not want to marry her but only stayed for me and my younger sibling. To say the least, my mother was incredibly predatory, when i was younger she had assaulted me and my brother sexually multiple times throughout my childhood, this slowly began to turn into physical abuse and over time it began to escalate. Like for example, my mother got upset at us for not doing chores, so she went to our bed and grabbed our machete and began to chase my brother, raised at him. Our father did the best he could to protect us. And I would beg him to leave her because of the shit she would do to me... but he didn't divorce her until i was hit with a golf club when I was 16-17 years old.
At that point was where our relationship began to dissolve as our mother began to terrorize our family. She began to send DOZENS upon DOZENS of sexual voicemails and phone calls involving her engaging in sexual activity for years to my brother and I. She would break into our house multiple times and attempt to worm her way back in to our family. My father wouldn't handle this well. His drug usage increased causing him to become extremely violent to my brother and I. He would strangle us, punch us, throw us into furniture. He would steal our money and pawn our belongings for more drug money as well as destroy our belongings such as headphones, laptops, microphones etc.
As horrible as the things he did were, he was hurting. Our mother was terrorizing him as well. Constantly showing up, attempting to seduce him, attack him, a multitude of things. On top of struggling with addiction he was attempting to balance life as a single father, with two kids who were incredibly mal-adjusted to the terrible things our mother did to us. We weren't easy either. My brother and I would flunk out of school during this period and dabble a bit in light drug usage. It was just weed and cigarettes so it was no big deal. While I was able to let go of that shit and get back into school through doing a trade (electronic engineer) my brother would start to fall into doing more and more weed and cigs to the point where hes almost smoking every day. I was incredibly combatant and bi-polar as fuck. When he'd yell at me I'd yell back. Which led to him insulting me (Saying im like my mother, that im useless and demonic), to where I'd insult back(saying he was childish and a stupid addict and acting like a teenage girl), until we're punching each other and shoving each other around. I wasn't a good kid. I wouldn't help out around the house due to the animosity between us. Little did I know I was subconsciously projecting my mother to him despite him being nothing like her.
He was just a flawed man who's hurting. Our mother tricked him into subconsciously normalizing shit that wasn't normal. Like kissing us on our necks and bathing us when we were way to old to be bathed by our parents. Drying us thoroughly and checking our genitals. To him it meant nothing because he is NOT a predator but to our mother it meant more. It was different with her.
My father is not a predator, he was just unknowledgeable to how our mother was manipulating him and abusing him. It caused him to lash out because he's dealing with his own problems.
I'm going to apologize to him and have a talk with him and then go away for a while. I dont want to be a burden on him anymore or my family anymore so I'm going to deal with it.
Thank you guys for the advice,

Hello everyone, I'm gonna start this off by saying thanks to anybody who will read this as it will be a long one, and anybody willing to offer me any advice.
PS. This post started as a post where I was asking for college advice, but as I wrote more I realized any advice would be really helpful so I changed the title a bit, Thanks in advance again!
[[ Beware: My whole lifestory coming up combined with tired midnight grammar 😅 ]]
To get to the point, I currently live in Croatia and just turned 19 a couple of months ago and a time has come when I am again thinking about college. Some background on me, from when I was very little I was always interested in engineering and art, it all started when a teacher of mine in the 5th grade of primary school introduced me to programming and robotics. From then on I was in love with everything to do with electronics, robotics, mechanics programming, and fundamental sciences, maybe even math itself, but that's beside the point. During those years the passion for all of that really grew. I went to countless robotics competitions during my time at school there and even won lots of prizes. One time I almost came to world-level competitions but sadly missed the first place by a point. When I was home I sadly didn't have much equipment for any of these interests except a computer. It seemed limitless what I could do with it, whatever I wanted to do I could make it. It's not like electronics where as a kid getting parts was difficult except from old salvaged electronic devices. I could learn and make whatever I wanted, as long as the old family computer could run it. So I started learning a lot about computers during these times like basic algorithms and some basic games random Python scripts etc. In terms of computers, I was no genius, but for the age, I'm grateful I took the time to learn even the basics of it. Other than that I was a somewhat weird kid because I couldn't really take picking off some classmates as a joke and got annoyed at it quickly when they started interrupting me while I was drawing ( My dad was an artist in his youth so I picked that up from him, been scribbling every day in primary school when class was either boring or some kind of recess ) but even though they were picking on me, I to this day still really don't mind them, we were a pretty close class at the end of the day. And that's how most of my primary school went by, me being social with only a few friends and my informatics teacher as well. Other than that I was pretty sad during those years, I couldn't understand people and was contemplating the meaning of life as well, and that combined with me inheriting some stubbornness from mom, she and I were always fighting for homework, screentime, etc. Right now we are in a very good relationship so I'm greatful for that aswell. Seeing how I didnt really talk outside of school to many people expect a few friends ( I do live in a small village so if they were the same age as me they were in my class ) i basicly spent most of my time while not staying after school in a computer club we had for few hours every couple of days a week, i was cooped upped inside my house, playing with legos, being with grandparents or my cousins or being on computer and doing some programing, scripting, photoshoping and other things you can reasonably excect a child to do. And so passed most of my primary school.
When time came to plan for highschool, I originaly wanted to go to art school, but was quickly turned down by my mother because she thought it wasnt a smart idea. Personaly didn't like it at first, but she is a smart woman so in time i understood. Basicly other then liking to draw and paint, I wanted to go there bacause my best friend from class was going there and he also wanted me to come along. ( Funny how me the least popular guy and the youngest guy in class and he the most popular guy in class while also being the oldest were best friends, but thats a story for another day ) As my mom turned down my suggestion for art school she suggested I go to a school for a Mechatronics Technician. I didnt not like the idea as well I loved everything related to it. Other than that another option was Computer Technician ( basicly a programming oriented path ) but I decided mechatronics because i said to myself i can learn programing at home because the only tools i need are a computer, and mechanics, electronics and robotics is something I dont have at home so it will be really cool to learn all of that here and so, highschool started.
Oh how fast has the reality come crashing down as I understood what the whole mess of the education system actualy was. Most of the classes didnt have any equipment to actualy do anything practical, the other small portion that did the rest lf the 95% of class didnt understand anything so we couldnt do much or what was the more often scenario is that the proffesors just didnt really care at all so we would come to class and do absolutly nothing, like literaly nothing except waiting for the bell to ring. After i realised that I just started not coming to school most quite a bit. Mostly was not comming on fridays, some wednesdays etc most of the times I was actualy abit sick, but every time i was sick i exadurated it so my mom would let me stay home. Even though i was missing quite a bit of classes, if a class had something to do with math or logical thinking ( which most were ) i would usualy either be best at it in the class or almost the best for the pure reason I was actualy really interested and loved all the cool engineering stuff. On the other side if a subject was about 0 logic, full random name memorisation like the croatian literature class, I was almost if not the worst in class managing just barely to scrape by. Other than that there was one proffesor who I admired so much for his style of teaching, as he tought me so much during the only 2 years he lectured me ( my fourth year of highschool he was out because pention ). In simply half a year we went from 0 knowledge to designing, printing, creating and soldering a whole circuit on a pcb, I was always there for his classes. On the other time we were doing something else, he always had some cool stuff prepared when i was finished with work early, he was a great guy and still respect him alot. Other than that i was really disapointed how there existed zero after school activities that i could do that had to do anything with electronic, mechanics, robotics or programing.
On the side of my social life, the summer just before starting highschool I realised this was a great opportunity to redeem myself as i really didnt want to get picked on like in primary school. So what other kind of persona would somebody come up in this situation than one being supported by my pride itself, other than that i was basicly a "chameleon" aka adapting to every person around me which was probably the reason i made some friends but it usualy tired me out completly. And so it started really great actualy, nobody was picking on me, i was socialising ( only inside of my class usualy, other than the people who went to this town from my village that i already knew, but it was a big step up for me ) and learned how to shrug of others banter by pretending it didnt effect me. It was definitly in a better possition then primary school alright, but i did realise alot of people just moving away sometimes because of how i just increased pridefulness as i got more vulnerable. I think i was able to keep my pride to just below some overflowing point as i still managed to make a few friends.
And so some time passed, at home watching more videos about everything to do with engineering, getting a 3d printer and messing with it, programing some more and even trying to learn some business, economy and more about money. I even developed a game for the school as some special thing I got by talking to a teacher of mine. Other than that at the third year, thanks to a profesor i was able to get in touch with a software development company and was able to secure an internship for basicly the whole summer, which was a blast. I learned so much new things that opened doors to alot more things. After that i focused my random "Jack of all trades" learning to be mostly focused on modern used technologies, and the needs of possible job recruiters, and well it in general. That is the point i feel i truly started learning proper programing.
More on my development of pride, in highschool and in primary school i was actualy praised quite alot and being actualy abit good at something maybe was the thing that allowed me to get even some friends by being prideful. We can call that being lucky as the stars alligned, but anyways. During those years i also had two experiences with me falling in love for the first time. The first one didnt last more than a 4ish months maybe, it was basicly a crush thing that ended in a broken heart, but o boy it was a good waking called. I wonder what would happen to me without this realisation. Then the next one lasted basicly 7-8ish months in the 4th year of highschool, and this one was much more complicated and longer, but after it i learned quite a new few things. These two things really awoken me to who i am today, as i try to live each day with as much virtue as I can. I threw out the pride out of the window, and dont really care too much of somebodies bad opinions on me, if there are currently any. I came to terms with alot of things and am just able to accept things for what they are, without judgment.
As im writing this its quite late and am tired so sorry for bad grammar i want to shorten this abit. Basicly my whole life i loved scientists, engineers and the idea of colledge. Was always dreaming of becomingba "great scientist" like albert einstein or nikola tesla but the older i got, the more things i learned, the more that dream of going to colledge got shattered by reality. As i realised the giant flaws in the education system, after learning about money and realising colledges are just big businesses trying to earn alot of money, and that that is their main motivation, combines with seeing that scientists basicly to get any money and recognition these days need to literaly hop from trend to trend, research what is "in" currently or well no bread on the table just made the academia route of my life shatter before my eyes. Seeing how i knew quite abit computers i thought i could atleast land something, but after seeing people who were much longer in the industry praise me for a impressive knowledge on alot of fields and my ability to almost instantly grasp any concept thrown at me, i actualy got a job. Well this was how I decided to start working immediatly instead of going to colledge. After weighing the options combined with the additional knowledge i got about the job market, this was an obvious choice. I believe that my key to being objective is me being realistic, so sadly i know am not some do it all genious and know i need to rely on whatever i have to use as leverage to enhance my life, so learning from Warren Buffet that out of everything I got, my time was my biggest asset. Simply being young with the above average skills i have, I believe i have a reasonably good chance to have a virtous and fulfiling life.
But i still have that burning flame in my chest, i still love the idea i had of colledge, of becoming a scientist, an engineer. I tried looking for ways to convince myself otherwise and see that i was actualy wrong about it all, but each time i look, more and more i realise my initial assumptions were right. The world is slowly moving away from official education like colledges as everything can be learnt online, because of ai the next few years are going to be revolutionary in all of these fields so either the colledge courses are going to be very outdated or just some concept of a job will not simply be needed as a diffrent one apears. The posibilities and their volatility is just so high that i dont feel even 1% safe actualy going to colledge, seeing how devoting like 5 years to it will mean loosing the onlx advantage i can use, and that is me starting out young. And as a bonus because i have a job i actualy have more time than colledge to persume my other interest like mechanics and electronics as well as actualy funds.
Thanks for reading all of this, I can trust it was quite a journey reading everything i written basicly half asleep but i hope you were able to understand everything. Im really confused what to do, as I love both options but knowing that one has a much better chance of being useful to me than the other. Any advice you can give me will be greatly appriciated, be it about college like is there an actualy good colledge in europe thats is worth it in my place, or general life stuff, about work etc. Once again I cannot thank you enough for reading this and helping me. Thanks!
Edit: I havent said much about my job because this is more of a general reddit but for people who are in the field I am a backend developer, with some freelancing and opensource contributions on the side

Hello fellow Redditors looking for a partner in crime! I'm a 30 year old with a stable career in finance. I am ready to start dating as I'd like to find someone to share my life with, so thought I'd give this a try !
I can be funny, witty, smart, charming and chivalrous. Am not athletic or a regular gym person but I am slim and fit.
I am told that am a can inspire,motivate and empower people. I can hold the most serious conversation and discuss the universe with you or I can clown around if that makes you happy to keep the mood light.
For fun I enjoy spending time with my family and friends, traveling, putting together puzzles, listening to music, upgrading or repairing my electronic devices, reading, going to the movies or just watching Netflix! I am a big 'ol fan of spreadsheets so let me know if we can geek out together over the best way to analyze data with them!
DEAL BREAKERS
I'm a nerd that loves efficiencies so let me hit you with the dealbreakers I need first so we don't waste our time: - You are Strictly over 25 (that’s the lowest I’ll consider although my preferred range is 28-38) - single - willing to endure long distance communications (text and / or voice or video) while I work on relocating closer to you - I am a work in progress figuring out life and don't have it all together just yet, so I don't mind you being a work in progress
All of these are not to knock anyone in a different situation, but just to find someone that has a good chance of making it past an introduction .
Things I am also looking for: a woman that's kind, smart, takes initiative, wants a healthy relationship, takes care of herself, has the time to build a relationship, and seeks an equal partner in life's adventures.
Plus points for intellect. Things like: * How you think; * How you respond - (basic Grammar and spelling); * What are your views on things around us; * How you carry out a conversation; * How you type your messages; * If you notice the details; * The idea is I get to know you better.
If you've made it this far, thank you for spending your time and effort! If you think we might be a good fit please reach out and , and I'll reply (as soon as possible) ! I look forward to receiving your thoughtful and inquisitive responses.
If any of the above appeals to you or you wish to make enquiries , please send me a Reddit Chat (Preferred) or Direct Message
Thank you once again for taking the time to read this.
Here's a sample introduction: "Hello there, I am Katherine, 30 years old, from Melbourne, Australia. I found your post interesting and hope to get to know you better."
Yours truly Neel

Hey,
So I am 24 years old and I am driving an old Mazda 2 from 2009. The car is great, never had problems with it and it never let me down but the comfort isn’t the best. I bought it as my first car after I got my license and right now I am driving it way more. For the city it’s great, small, you fit in every parking place and just perfect. But right now I am driving way more on the Autobahn (Highway) and I wanted to get something newer with more comfort and safety. The Mazda isn’t that great for long drives on the autobahn. So my limit is 20k and I am really in a dilemma, since I wanted an upgrade I look for newer cars and I found this bmw 116i for 19k from 2023 and it run under 1000km. The other thing is I could get a polo from 2018 for 13k it has less assistance in it and it already run 80k km. My alternative is a newer Mazda 2 but I wanted to try something new, generally speaking the used market is pretty tough. I could sell my old Mazda with a plus, I bought it for 3k and I saw some are selling theirs for 4-5k here. Newer Polos are too expensive in my opinion, they are offering less electronics and less comfort for more money, same with the Audi a1 and Seat Ibiza.
Hope you can give me some advice on deciding?

"You gotta know that there's an art to it, Ezra," Hitch said, cutting another piece of duct tape.
The sleeves of his weather-beaten coat were shoved all the way up his arms, to stop the fabric from falling over his knuckles while he was working, and goosebumps lined his skin. He was strapping a rubber chicken to the back of his truck, over the lens of the shattered backup camera, with the legs pointing down so that they hung a couple inches above the ground. There were dents in the hood from the crash last week, and scratches along the door from scraping into a curb. The chicken, hopefully, would keep him from breaking anything else.
"You can't go cheap," Hitch said. "The cheap rubber chickens only make noise when pressure lets go. That's no good. As soon as I back up into something, I want this chicken to be screaming like it’s in the depths of hell."
“Sure thing,” I said in a monotone, leaning against the side of the truck.
There were scrambled electronic parts piled in the back of the truck, the innards of a radio, a broken computer, tangled wires, a couple loose pairs of earbuds. He found the parts in alleyways or bummed them off his friends for a couple bucks or stole them from the vacation homes that were left empty for most of the year. Then he sold them for a profit at the scrapyard. Hitch had bounced between minimum-wage jobs for a while after high school, spending a couple months as a bagger at the grocery store or as a seasonal worker at the farm two hours down the highway. He'd never stuck with it. At the very least, the scrapyard got him enough money to eat and occasionally spend a night in a motel when he got tired of sleeping in his car.
Hitch pressed the last piece of tape in place and grinned up at me. "I've got something for you, duck."
The nickname came from when I’d broken my leg as a child and waddled around in a cast until it was healed. I hated it with a burning passion, and I glared at Hitch with the ease of twenty-one years of practice. He had a duck tattoo at the base of his thumb that he’d gotten in a back-alley shop as a teenager. He said that he’d gotten it to remind him of me, and the fact that I hated the nickname was just a bonus. It was shaky-lined, with an uneven face, but he loved it anyway.
The handle stuck when Hitch tried to open the door, a consequence of the rust collecting in the crevices of the car and running down the sides like blood from a cut. The car groaned when the door finally popped open, a metal against metal screech that had me flinching away. Hitch dug through the cluttered fast food containers in the passenger-side footwell, eventually coming up with a crinkly paper bag. He waved away the flies buzzing around the opening of the bag and held it out to me.
The last time Hitch had brought me food, I’d gotten food poisoning because he’d left it out in the midday sun for two days. The donut was squished slightly, and the icing was stuck to the bag. I still ate it, grimacing at the harsh citrus flavor. Taking Hitch’s food was an instinct engraved from the days when Dad had given us a can of kidney beans for dinner and Hitch had drank the juice, leaving the beans for me.
I rarely went hungry anymore, three mostly square meals a day and granola in my pockets just in case, but habits didn’t die easy.
These days, Hitch only brought me food when he wanted my help, like when he saw a place he wanted to hit but was worried about doing it alone.
I got in the car, like I always did.
We drove past the cluster of seafood-themed restaurants with chipped paint decks, the beachfront park where there were always shifty-eyed men sitting under the slide, the single room library where all the books had been water damaged in the flood last year. The change was quick as we drove across Main Street, heading closer to the beach. The roads were freshly paved, the concrete a smooth black except where the sun had already started to pick away at it. The three-story homes lining the sides of the street were crouched on elegant stilts, with space underneath for a car or three. Most of the garages were empty, with the lights off and curtains drawn in the house. Come summer, the streets would be swarming with tourists and vacationers, but until then, most of the buildings nearest to the beach were unoccupied.
Hitch stopped as the sun started to go down at a house that was leaning precariously out towards the beach, tilted ever so slightly, the edge of its foundation buried in the shifting sand of the beach. It certainly looked deserted, with an overgrown yard and blue paint peeling off the door in sheets.
Hitch took his hammer out of the backseat, hoisting it over his shoulder. It was two feet of solid metal with rags wrapped around the head to muffle the sound of the hits. Hitch squared up, bending his knees and holding the hammer like a baseball bat. Before he could swing, though, the door creaked open on its own, the hinges squeaking. The house beyond was dark enough that I could only make out general shapes, glimpsing the curve of a sofa to the left, what was maybe the shimmer of a chandelier on the other side.
Hitch lowered his hammer, looking vaguely disappointed that he didn’t get to use it. “That’s…weird as hell.”
“Maybe the deadbolt broke, maybe they forgot to lock it, it doesn’t matter,” I hissed, checking our surroundings for other people again. “Just hurry up and get inside before someone calls the cops.”
Hitch flicked the lightswitch on the wall, and the lights flickered on. They were dim, buzzing audibly and blinking off occasionally. The walls were plastered with contrasting swatches of wallpaper and splattered with random colors. There was neon orange behind the dining table, a galaxy swirl in the kitchen, and on the ceiling there was a repeating floral pattern covered in nametag stickers. Each of the stickers was filled out with The Erlking. Chandeliers hung in every room, three or four for each, and rubber ducks sat on every table. A miniature carousel sat in the corner along with a towering model rocket.
Sand was heaped on every surface, at least a couple inches everywhere. It was piled in the corners and stuck to the walls, and it covered the floor in a thick blanket. Our hesitant steps into the house left footprints clearly outlined in the sand.
Hitch took a cursory look around and headed immediately for the TV mounted on the wall. “Look out the windows and tell me if anyone is coming.”
I shook the sand out of the blinds and pulled them open, then had to brush sand off of the window before I could see anything.
Hitch was quick, practiced at finding and appropriating the things that were worth taking. He came back to me with an armful of electronics and chandeliers, dumping it at my feet before turning to head deeper into the house again.
There was a thump, somewhere upstairs, and then footsteps, slow and deliberate. Hitch froze at the threshold of the room, then ran for the door with me just ahead of him, sand flying out from under our feet.
My hand was almost brushing the doorknob, close enough that I could see the light from the streetlamp outside streaming in through the cracks in the door. My fingers touched the wood and it gave under my touch, becoming malleable and warm. I yelped, stumbling backwards, and the door started to melt. The paint ran down in thick drops, pooling at the bottom of the door, and the wood warped like metal being welded. The soft edges of the door ran into the walls until there was no sign of an exit ever being there.
“Well, well, well,” said a cultured voice with just an edge of snooty elitism. “What do we have here?”
The man was well over eight feet tall, with long black hair covering his eyes. He was wearing a yellow raincoat with holes cut out of the hood to accommodate the deer antlers jutting upwards from his head. There was sand settled on his shoulders and hovering around his head like a halo.
“Who the fuck are you?” Hitch said, inching towards a window.
He smiled, just a little bit, and his teeth shone in the dim light. “I am the Erlking.”
Hitch nodded, and seemed about to respond. I grabbed him by the hand and pulled him towards the window. I could feel sand in the wind roaring against my back as the Erlking growled in anger, the grains scraping harshly against my cheeks.
We were almost to the window when Hitch was ripped away from me, and I came to a startled halt. The sand had formed long grasping arms that pressed Hitch against the floral wallpaper. His wrists were held tight, and as I watched, a sandy hand wrapped around his mouth and forced its way between his teeth. He gagged, and sand trickled out of the corners of his mouth.
The Erlking strolled towards him, not seeming to be in any sort of rush. “You know, I’m not very fond of your yapping.”
He made an idle gesture and the sand wrapped around my ankles, tethering me in place.
“I yap all the time,” Hitch said. “Three-time olympic yapper, that’s me. Best to just let me go now and save yourself some trouble.”
The Erlking tapped a manicured nail against Hitch’s mouth, hard enough to hurt, judging by the way he flinched away. “But why would I ever let you go when I’ve gone to this much trouble to catch you and your sister? It’s so hard, these days, to find people that no one will miss.”
Hitch struggled against the sand, trying to escape and failing. “What do you want with us, then? You just said it, we’re nobody.”
“I’m fae, dear one,” the Erlking said. “I get my power from my followers. And I think that you two will make lovely additions to my flock.”

He flicked Hitch's nose and Hitch gasped. Feathers started to form on his arms, popping out from under his skin in a spray of blood.
Hitch pushed off the wall, using his bound hands as a fulcrum, and his knees crashed into the Erlking’s stomach. The Erlking fell backwards, wheezing, and the sand around my ankles loosened.
Hitch made desperate eye contact with me as feathers shot up his neck and jerked his head towards the window. The message was obvious. Run.
The last thing I saw before crashing out the window and into freedom was Hitch’s body twisting, his arms wrenching into wings and feathers covering every inch of his skin. By the time I landed on the concrete outside, he was a small black bird, held tightly in the Erlking’s hands. The whole building was sinking into the ground, burnished-gold sand piling up over top and streaming from the windows.
Thirty years later, I saw Sam’s Supernatural Consultation and Neutralization written in neat, looping handwriting on a piece of paper taped to the door. The tape was peeling at the corners and the paper was yellowed with age, but there was obviously care put into the sign, in its perfectly centered text and looping floral designs drawn over the edges in gold marker.
I knocked, hesitantly, drawing my woolen coat closer around my shoulders. I’d bought it as a fiftieth birthday gift for myself, and I took comfort in the heavy weight of it over my shoulders.
“Coming!” someone called from within the depths of the office.
There were a couple crashes, and the sound of paper shuffling. Eventually, the door was opened by a young woman with ketchup stains on her shirt and pencils stuck through her hair.
“Hi, I’m Sam, I specialize in supernatural consultation and hunting, how may I help you today?” Sam said, customer-service pep in her voice. She stood in the doorway, solidly blocking entry into the office.
“My name is Ezra, I’m for a consultation. I emailed you but you didn’t respond?” I shifted in place, suddenly feeling awkward.
“Oh! Yeah, I lost the password for the email ages ago. Sorry for the bad welcome, I get lots of people thinking I’m crazy or pulling a prank and harassing me.”
She ushered me into the office, clearing papers off one of the chairs to make room for me to sit down. There was a collection of swords along one wall, all of them polished to perfection, several with deep knicks in the metal which indicated that they’d been used heavily.
“So what can I help you with?” Sam asked again, more sincere this time.
“Thirty years ago, my brother was turned into a bird,” I started. I’d told this story so many times that it barely felt ridiculous to say anymore. I was used to the disbelieving looks, the careful pity. But Sam just nodded along, face open and welcoming.
“I’ve almost given up on finding him, at this point,” I said. “But I saw your ad in the newspaper, and…here I am, I suppose.”
“Here you are,” Sam echoed, smiling. She pulled one of the pencils out of her hair and took a bit of paperwork off of one of her stacks, turning it over so that the blank side sat neatly in front of her. “Tell me everything.”
I told Sam everything, and she wrote it all down, pencil scratching along the paper.
The last part of the story was always the hardest to tell. “I left him there. I ran and I didn’t look back.”
I had been to dozens of detectives and investigators over the years, once the police had dropped Hitch’s case. I’d been to professional offices with smartly-dressed secretaries and met scraggly men in coffee shops. All of them had given me the same look, pity and annoyance all mixed up into a humor-the-crazy-lady soup. Sam, though, just seemed thoughtful.
Sam leaned forward and put a hand over mine, carefully, like she thought that I would pull away. “Sometimes you have to leave people behind.”
I tightened her hold on Sam’s hand and drew it towards me, like I could make Sam listen if only I squeezed tight enough. “But that’s why I’m here. I don’t want to leave him behind.”
“Okay then. I’ll do my best to help you.” Sam agreed, finally. Then she paused, and said softly, “You know…I think I met your brother once. He might have saved my life. He’s certainly why I started in this business.”
“Really? What happened?” I asked.
This is the story that Sam told me, related to the best of my abilities:
It was a new moon, so the only illumination came from the stars gazing idly down and distant porch lights shining across the scraggly brush of the dunes. Sam’s neighbors were decent people who cared about baby turtles, so the lights were a low, unobtrusive red, and the ocean sloshed like blood. Sam walked on the beach almost every night, drawing back the gauzy pink curtains and clambering out her bedroom window. She didn’t often bother to be quiet; her mama worked the late shift and came home exhausted. As long as Sam got home before the sun, her mama would never find out that she paced the shoreline and dreamed of inhaling sand until her lungs became their own beach.
The sky was lightening. The sun would come up soon, and that meant Sam’s time on the beach was over. She needed to get back to her real life, go to her fifth grade class and stop that nonsense, as her mother would say. Her mother loved to say things like that, pushing Sam into her proper place by implication alone.
“She’s a good kid, of course, but she’s a bit…” Her mother would trail off there, usually getting a commiserating expression from whoever she was talking to. Sam always wondered how that sentence would have finished. She’s a bit strange, maybe. She’s a bit intense. She’s a bit abrasive. She’s quiet enough but when Jason tried to steal her pencil in math class, she stabbed him in the hand so hard that the lead tattooed him.
Her mother was better, for the most part. The days of her stocking up the fridge, and leaving a post-it note on the counter, and leaving for days at a time were gone. But Sam still stepped around the place on the kitchen tile where her mother had collapsed and caved her head in, even though the bloodstains had been replaced with new tile.
“Your auntie got an abortion, you know,” her mother had said from her place on the couch, slurring her words. “Pill in the mail and then bam, no more baby.”
She had clapped her hands together to illustrate her point. Her mother jerked forward and grabbed Sam by the wrist, then, staring up at her until Sam met her eyes.
“I love you, you know? But sometimes I wonder…” She settled back onto the couch. “Yeah. I wonder.”
She’d gotten up, then, back to the kitchen. She’d been stumbling, a shambling zombie of a woman. The ground in the entryway of the kitchen was raised, ever so slightly, and her mother went down hard. Her head cracked against the tile, chin first, and she didn’t move.
Sam had been the one to call the ambulance. She had stared at the scattering of loose teeth on the ground while she waited, and considered what her life would be like with a dead mom. Not so bad, she thought, and immediately felt guilty for it.
Her mom was better, now, for the most part. But Sam still stepped around the place on the kitchen floor where she had collapsed. There was still a matchbox hidden under her bed with the gleaming shine of her mother’s lost teeth, two canines and a molar. It was nice, having a piece of her mom to keep. Even if she left again, Sam would still have part of her.
Sam sighed, and turned away from the ocean. As she faced towards the low dunes further up the beach, she saw a sandcastle sitting nestled among them. It was such a strange sight that her eyes skipped over it at first, almost automatically, disregarding it because it was so out of place.
Sam found sandcastles out on the beach sometimes, usually half-collapsed and on the verge of being washed away by the waves, but she had never seen anything like the sandcastle in front of her. It was life-sized, something that wouldn’t have looked out of place in the Scottish highlands, with spires shooting up above her head and carefully etched out bricks lining each side. The front wall was dominated by an arched set of double doors, twice her height, with a portcullis nestled at the top, ready to be dropped. All of it was lovingly detailed, down to the rust on the tips of the towers and the wood grain of the door. It was made out of wet, densely-packed sand, held together impossibly. It had not been there two hours ago, when she had come to the beach.
There was a bird sitting on the overhang of the door, small and black.
As soon as she took a step towards the sandcastle, the bird shook out its feathers and swooped down towards Sam, landing at her feet with a little stumble.
“Hey, kid, get out of here,” said the bird.
Sam closed her eyes, very deliberately. When she opened them, the bird was still there. Sam considered herself a very reasonable person, so she immediately drew the most logical conclusion. The bird was, she was almost certain, a demon.
“Trust me, you don’t want to run into Mr. Salty, the queen bitch himself,” the bird said.
“Mr. Salty?” Sam inquired, polite as she knew how to be. She edged to the side, trying to get a good angle to kick the bird like a soccer ball.
The bird did something similar to a wince, all its feathers fluffing up then settling back down. “Ah, don’t call him that. He’d turn you into a toad.”
The bird gestured with its head, towards the looming sand structure. “That’s his castle. He’s in there, probably scuttling along the ceiling or some shit because that’s the sort of weirdo he is.”
Sam nodded, encouraging. She pulled back her foot and lined up her shot, the way she’d seen athletes do on TV. She aimed right for its sharp beak and let loose. The bird saw it coming, its beady eyes widening, and it cawed in distress. It flapped away, avoiding her kick only to fall backward into the sand in a scramble of wings.
“What’s your fucking problem?” it squawked. “I was trying to help you!”
“I don’t need the help of a demon,” Sam yelled, trying to remember the exorcism that her mama had taught her once, because her mama believed in being prepared for anything.
“I’m not a demon,” the bird said indignantly.
It was at about that moment that Sam gave up and just decided to roll with it.
“What are you, then?” Sam asked.
The bird shuffled its clawed feet, looking about as awkward as it could, given that it didn’t really have recognizable facial expressions. “Technically I’m a familiar of the Erlking, prince of the fae, but I prefer to be called Hitch.”
“You can’t blame me for assuming, though,” Sam said. “Ravens do tend to be associated with murder.”
“Hey, excuse you,” Hitch said. “I’m a rook, not a raven. Ravens are way bigger.”
“Sure,” Sam said, not really paying attention. Her eyes had caught on the details of the sandcastle, and she was transfixed by the slow spirals of the sand, the strange beauty of it. She found herself stepping towards the great doors, lifting a hand to knock, and as she did, the sand warped in front of her eyes, heaving itself towards her with bulging slowness. The door creaked open before her, revealing a vast, empty room. Just before she stepped inside, she felt a piercing pain in her foot, and she yelped, leaping backwards.
Hitch pecked her again, really digging his beak in. “Don’t be an idiot.”
Sam glared at him, rubbing her foot. About to retort, she finally really took in the room inside the sandcastle, and her words died in her throat.
There was a body just past the threshold of the door, face down and limbs hanging limp at its sides. Long hair splayed out in a halo around its head.
“Don’t,” Hitch warned, suddenly serious. “Just leave, kid, I mean it. I’ve seen too many people go down this road and you don’t want to be one of them.”
Sam ignored him. She made her way across the beach, slipping with every step. The sand felt deeper, piling up around her feet in silent drifts. She picked up the nearest stick and poked the body with it through the door, ready to leap back if anything went wrong, staying firmly outside of the sandcastle.
This close, Sam could tell that it used to be a woman. Her head wasn’t attached to her body. It hadn’t been a clean amputation, either. Her upper body was bruised, with chunks taken out of it, and the bones in her neck hung mangled, not connected to anything.
“Well, I warned you,” Hitch said, defeated. “I did warn you.”
Sam nudged the head with the end of the stick, nudging it over so that she could see the face. Her mother stared back at her, torn to pieces, breath still wheezing from her lungs. She wasn’t blinking, just gazing forward with glazed eyes. Sweat dripped down from her hairline.
Sam screamed and dropped the stick, tripping over herself in her haste to get away.
Her mother’s eyes were wide and pleading, and she was mouthing desperate words at Sam. Her vocal cords were broken to bits, and the only sound that came out was a strained groan.
The head rolled, inching closer to Sam like a grotesque caterpillar.
Her mother gasped for air, torn lips fluttering. Finally, comprehensible words came out. “Help. Help me, daughter.”
“That’s not your mother,” Hitch said, quiet.
Sam knew that. Her mother was sleeping back at home, and anyways her mom had never asked for her help. She had an aversion to accepting charity, as she put it.
“Okay,” Sam said, shaking all over. “Okay.”
She backed away from the sandcastle, not looking away.
“Failure,” her mother hissed as she stepped away. “I never wanted a daughter like you.”
The sun came up over the horizon. The sandcastle, Hitch, and her mom all disintegrated into sand as the light hit them.
The beach, the next night, was almost exactly how I remembered it. The beams of our flashlights sent light bouncing across the dunes, illuminating the waves, and I imagined faces in the foam of the waves.
“I’ve been back here a hundred times. There’s nothing left,” I said.
Sam took the car key out of her purse and pointed it at the sand, adjusting the sword slung over her shoulder in order to do it. The key had belonged to Hitch; Sam had requested an item of his, and it was the only thing I had left. She rested the key on the sand and drew a circle around it, inscribing symbols around the borders.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
Sam shrugged. “Not much, really. I’m…I guess you could say that I’m knocking.”
The key laid inert on the sand for long enough that I was just about to give up and go home, admit to myself that Hitch was dead and that I was a fool to believe that Sam could actually help me. Then a building started to take shape, flickering in and out like it was struggling to get away. With a pop of displaced air, the sandcastle settled into existence.
Sam banged on the entryway. Nothing happened. She did it again, harder, and scowled when the door still didn’t open.
“We demand entrance, under your honor,” Sam yelled. There was a hard rush of wind, and I gripped Sam’s arm to keep my balance, but the doors cracked open reluctantly.
The inside of the sandcastle consisted of one enormous hall, the roof arching up out of sight. Rafters crisscrossed from wall to wall, and a cobbled path led further into the building, but other than that, it was completely empty, except for the birds. There were thousands of them, perched on the rafters or hopping along the ground. They parted in front of Sam and I, and reformed behind us, leaving us in a small pocket of open space. They were all black-feathered, with sharp beaks and beady eyes.
The Erlking sat on a throne at the end of the hall, lounging across it with his feet up on the armrest. He watched them as they came forward, the soft caw of the birds the only sound.
“I am here to bargain for the life of my brother,” I said, with as much dignity as I could muster, before the Erlking could say anything.
The Erlking ignored her, tilting his head to look at Sam. “I remember you. I almost got you, once.”

Sam glared at him but didn’t respond.
“You want your brother,” The Erlking said to me, and he almost sounded amused. “Then go get him.”
As if by some sort of silent signal, every bird in the room took flight at once, and their cawing made me think of screams. I covered my head against the flapping of their wings, and my vision was quickly obscured by the chaotic movement of them. I found myself on my knees, just trying to escape them.
A hand met my shoulder. Sam urged me to my feet, and together we ran for the edge of the room, where the swarm was the thinnest. We pressed ourselves into the corner and the swarm spiraled tighter and tighter at the center of the room. It went on until there seemed to be no differentiation between the birds, all of them fused together into one creature.
When the chaos died down, the birds had become one mass, with wings and eyes and talons sticking out of its flesh, thrashing and chirping. Human body parts stuck out of it, bulging out from the feathers. It was hands, mostly, with a couple knees or staring eyes. The bird amalgamation had no recognizable facial features, but there was one long beak extending from the front of its head. Most of the body parts were concentrated around the beak, and they peeked out from where the beak connected with muscle, or grew from the tongue, nestled between the two crushing halves of the beak.
It turned its beak down and crawled forward, using the hands to balance. The fingers scrambled over the ground. I was afraid of centipedes as a child, and I felt that same crawling dread when it started moving.
“Holy shit,” Sam whispered, which was rather disappointing, because I had been hoping that at least one of us knew what to do.
The creature turned, a lurching movement that crushed some of the hands underneath it, and started heaving itself slowly towards our corner.
“Better hurry up!” the Erlking called from his throne.
It was blocking the exit, by then. The shifting body of it had moved to block us off. It ambled towards us and I tried to sink further into the corner.
As it approached, getting close enough that I could smell the stink of it, I saw a flash of a tattoo on one of the hands. I leaned in, trying to find it again, like looking for dolphins surfacing in the ocean. And again, I caught a glimpse of a duck tattoo, the tattoo that Hitch had gotten on his hand as a teenager.
I ripped away from Sam’s death grip and ran for the monster.
I fell to my knees in front of it, wincing as I impacted the ground, and reached into the nest of hands. I could feel them tearing at my forearms and ripping into me with their sharp nails, but I kept going. I pressed further in, up to my shoulder in a writhing mass of limbs, aiming for the spot where I had last seen that tattoo.
The hands were tugging at me, wrapping around my back and hair. They were pulling together, trying to draw me completely into the mass of them. I was aware of Sam at my side, anchoring me in place and bashing any hand that got too close with her sword or the sparks that leapt from her hands with muttered words. But I didn’t think it would be enough. They were too strong, and there were too many of them.
I was up to my waist in the hands when something grabbed my palm. I felt the way it clung to me, and the calluses on its palm, and I knew that I had found my brother.
I flung herself back. The hands didn’t want to let me go, and they fought the whole way, but slowly, I made progress. I kept hold of Hitch’s hand in mine the whole time, gripping it as hard as I could. I finally broke free, Hitch with me, and Sam was immediately charging the creature, able to use her sword with much greater strength without being worried about injuring Hitch. She swung it forward, and it sliced through the wrist of one of the hands. It fell without a sound, red sand flowing out of it. It deflated until it looked like dirty laundry, just a piece of limp flesh. The creature shrieked, scuttling away enough that the door was finally accessible. The three of us ran for it, Sam and I supporting Hitch between us.
I looked back as I left and found the Erlking staring right at me.
“Interesting,” he murmured, his voice carrying impossibly across the vast space between us.
The sandcastle collapsed behind us, the great walls falling in on themselves. We were out in the morning sun, the sandcastle disappearing as we watched. Hitch was on the ground in front of me, as young as he’d been thirty years ago, when he was captured. He started laughing, feathers puffing out of his mouth. He laughed until he cried and I hugged him in the way that he’d held me when I was young, in the times when my life had been defined by hunger and fear.
Hitch left, afterwards. He scratched at the pinhole scars covering his body, where feathers burst through his skin, and pulled his long sleeves down around his wrists. He didn’t know where he was going but he told me that he needed time
I had spent thirty years worth of time without him. I wanted to grab my brother by the shoulders and beg him to stay. But he flinched when I hugged him goodbye and he refused to go near sand and he stared distrustfully at the birds chirping in the trees. Hitch needed to go away and I loved him too much to stop him.
I sat out on the beach every morning. I felt the sun on my face and I waited for Hitch to come home.

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