CADDY

Scaling: [Spons RT]() [Scott Wozniak RT]()

STRENGH

• Hangs himself out of spite for the Kinect (Kinect games)
• Uses a golf cart as a club (goofy funhouse)
• Throws his kid out of a window (crash 4 scene)
• Breaks a door (crash 4 scene)
• One shots Momo (haloween)
• Launches a Crash Bandicoot plushie through his roof, which then turns into a another crash plushie (crash merch)
• Pushes a transition screen away (?)
• Throws a phone, breaking it (bootleg)
• Throws a PS1 accessory across the world (ps1 accessories)
• Blows up an old phone (portable crash games)
• Breaks boxes with Crash Bandicoot (bandicoot month)
• Jumps to heaven (I'm bitter)

PUNCHING

• Punches the narrator hard enough to break a camera
• Punches Olly in the face
• Punches himself in the no-no's, causing agrippa to come out his mouth

DURABILITY

• Gets melted by the sun
• Survives in space
• Can survive without his head
• Survives after Spons rips through his chest
• Hammers a screwdriver into his ear
• As he is consistently in the Scott the Woz universe, to the point Caddy talks to him from the window of his house, Scott caused the universe to collapse which Caddy survived, since he's in the universe
• Gets flattened by the bricks
• Gets eaten by a crocodile
• Flies out the living room on a skateboard
• Falls off a roof
• Gets ran over
• Stabs himself, however he is hurt by this
• Goes inside toxic waste
• Covers himself in gasoline, and lights himself on fire off screen
• Fine after the sun spits a game at him
• Gets squished by Daddy Pig
• Impales himself with a sword
• Gets his eyes eaten
• Bleeds out his eyes
• Survives getting shot in the head
• Breaks his spine
• Gets inhaled by a Playstation
• Falls onto a couch hard enough to shake a room

GETTING SHOT

• Incapable of killing himself, blowing his his head off with a shotgun
• Fine after shooting himself in the cock
• Survives being shot in the head by a box of Rice Krispies
• Shoots himself in the head (skateboard)

TRANSMUTATION RESISTANCE

• Comes back after being turned into metal
• Gets tubacolosis and literally turns into a tuba.
• Gets turned into a youtooz vinyl figure

BLUNT FORCE ANG GETTING PUNCHED

• Takes a kick from Goku, however it's debatable if he's the actual one.
• Takes a hit from a giant hammer
• Knocked out by a baseball bat
• Gets punched by Big the Cat hard enough to swat away the entire screen

SPEED

• Surprises Scott the Woz
• Flies into a holiday inn, blowing it up
• Flies into space
• Dodges a sword swing
• Duplicates himself to catch a disc thrown by himself, in his mouth
• Runs fast enough to create after-images
• Turns into a rocket
• Takes a bouns round platform to America
• Jumpscares you (halloween)
• Dodges bullets from Spy Caddy

EXPLOSIONS

• Survives an explosion that kills Crash Bandicoot
• Survives this random explosion
• Gets nuked
• Survives a car being launched at him, creating an explosion
• Ok after his head blows up
• Gets his head blown off, launched onto a breakout paddle, then back onto his body
• Survives an explosion caused by a ps5 that fills a room
• Has a bunch of Crash Bandicoot merchandise fall from space, onto him
• Survives an unexpected explosion #ABILITIES
• Can turn a Cartridge into a PS1 game
• Kills a woman by mentioning the fifth element game
• Can use the force
• Can use the force lightning
• Can summon things by simply mentioning them
• Reverses pouring Pepsi in a cup
• Turns into the sun
• Toxic tunnels made him so toxic that people who came near him died
• Gives life to a teddy bear
• Can respawn at his house if he dies or gets KO'd
• Can stretch his neck
• whatever the duck this is (halloween special start)
• Can teleport
• Can multiply himself
• Can just say bad things to make them happen

TELEPORTATION

• Uses his "Bitch powers" to teleport
• Teleports to catch a game in his mouth

SIZE MANIPULATION

• Seemingly becomes this big (poster)
• Shrinks to a mini size to demonstrate a Crash TNT crate light

STUFF

• Pulls out a baseball bat, which he hits his cousin Mug with
• Has a lightsaber
• gun.
• A wand that's capable of blowing people up
• a mini TNT crate, which he throws at Olly
• Has a gun which evolves people
• Has robot feet, which he uses to kick his children
• Has a dragon (with no practical use whatsoever apart from flying, which he can already do.) (httyd segment)
• Bouns platform, which as mentioned before can go to places like america in seconds. For context, Caddy is in the UK
• Big thruster- A rocket that's shaped like a cock
• Oujia board
• Presumably wears groin guard
• Can be protected by his PS1 memory card, which catches him after he falls from a plane
• Ready access to nuclear weapons (eyetoy)
• A knife, which he uses to threaten Matt rose (eyetoy)

SLAUGHTERER

• Can remove memories
• Functions as a normal gun

INTELLIGENCE

• Could get away with treason
• Hacks into Brutalmoose's laptop
• Knows where you live. This not a joke. Hide. Now.
• Replaces his own spine
• Is a Spy in his spare time

OTHER

• [Salvages the computer screen](The creepy doll)
• [Freezes time, however he might not be immune](commercials)
• [Teleports to his couch in a flash of lightning, since he's wearing new clothes, this may be time travel](commercials)
• Used to have 540 thousand teeth.
• Interacts with his past self, presumably kills him off screen
• Drinks a game
• Flies through a chimney using balloons (UP game)
• Makes his eyes come off his face
• Can jump unreasonably high (bad ps4 store games)
• Creates fire using the coronation street game
• Removes the text from a magazine (psq magazines)
• Turns a cartridge into a disc
• Has eyes on the back of his head
• His mum stopped a freight train by frowning at it
• Can lay an egg containing Spons, however this can only happen once a month
• Turns into the "Jim Nebula"

WEAKNESSES

• Is shit at riding hoverboards
• Has chronic heart pain sometimes.
• Has a drinking problem
• Suicidal
• Needs pills so he doesn't murder you

Hi everyone!
Looking for some advice/ opinions on the current situation that I’m in.
I (23F US citizenship) have a 1st degree from a uni in London as well as a foundation degree from the same uni. I’ve been in the UK almost 5 years now and am currently on a Grad visa (expires in November of 2025). Since being in the UK I’ve formed a whole new life here that I love and want to spend the foreseeable future here. I met my boyfriend (26M UK & Irish citizenship - Earns £41K) a year and half ago and we are planning on moving in together in September.
Our original plan was for me to start a masters starting in September of 2025, right before my current grad visa expires and then get a unmarried partner visa after my masters is done (after having lived together for two years).
Since graduating uni I’ve had a really hard time finding a job. The job market right now isn’t great and I’m really struggling with even finding a part time job. I’m mentally feeling really stuck and am considering starting a Masters in September of 2024 instead so I can get on with my career more.
I was considering starting the masters this September and doing it for two years part time but I would not be able to work at all, which isn’t financially feasible for me.
My boyfriend and I are moving in together in September either way but im concerned that if I start a one year masters this September that we woudnt have lived together for long enough to qualify for the unmarried partner visa in September 2025, since we will have only lived together for 1 year. I know some people have success with the visa having not lived together at all but not sure if anyone’s had experience living together for only a year and still getting it. We have both lived in the same city the whole time we’ve known each other.
The skilled worker visa is obviously an option for after my masters but with how the job market/salary amount is right now I think it’s quite a gamble on banking on that.
Does anyone have any experience on getting the unmarried partner visa after only living together for a year? Are there any tricks to extend a visa for a few months? Is it true you can’t work with a part-time masters visa? Just general advice on how to navigate this? Any help would be hugely appreciated!
I would like to get on with my career but don’t want to live in fear of visa restrictions!
Thank you :)

Just another fun little story idea I had. I am still working on Humans are the violent ones but I like to bounce around and experiment with ideas to see what I really like. I also suck at writing more casual stories, as they give me severe writer's block as I try to map out how to make a scene feel genuine in my head, but I promise I'll update that soon. If you like this story and want to see more, then like and comment. I'll gladly continue this series as well.
Start of Personal Log
Humans don't like being told what to do. They don't like being commanded, put in their place, or snubbed. It was an inexorable, inalienable trait of humans, at least any noteable humans, to go against any authority that they believed was against their interests.
Humanity would not fit amongst the stars. Few ever did. It was a trait of most successful species to be willful, ambitious, and to desire more. But once they reached the stars the new (and simultaneously very old) pecking order either quashed any spirit such species had or simply eradicated them. Countless tomb worlds and diaspora served as painful reminders of what became of the nails that chose to stick out. The hammer of order would always strike. There could be no compromise, the very soul of the authority that held the Jurisdiction together relied on a show of unmatched power, or at least the illusion of item.
In reality, the Jurisdiction was an old, fat, and lazy beast. It filled its belly on the corpses of empires far and wide, and sated its bloodlust on the shattered dreams of hopeful cubs. It had every right to, for none could challenge it: there were no new frontiers to explore, nor were there any other enemies to conquer. The Milky Way, as humans had so strangely dubbed our cradle galaxy, as well as Andromeda, had long since been warred over and settled for millennia before humanity had arrived, bright-eyed and with familiar yet otherwise foolish dreams of cooperation and prosperity. The Jurisdiction did not cooperate, nor did it ensure prosperity. Oh, it claimed it did, but in reality it simply took. The rest was just the peace that came with not being the direct target of the biggest fish in the pond. The humans didn't like that, but they had no choice.
Slavery was a common tribute. The Jurisdiction had no use for other resources: it simply took. No, it wanted those who could facilitate that unequal exchange, those raised in a world where the only morality was the one set by your lord. The Jurisdiction was held together by expectations, obligations, and dury more than any kind of shared dream, so when you were ordered to take you did so without question. Humanity was new: they had no niche or value that set them apart, but they had a penchant for killing and taking, so the Jurisdiction gave them a taste of how the galaxy worked. They killed and they took. The humans didn't like that, but what choice did they have?
Humans were strange. They learned, but not in the way most species learned. Most species learned to adapt in a passive way, to adhere to the world around them. They flowed like water, moving past and around obstacles and confirming to the boxes they were assigned too. Humans didn't confirm, nor did they adapt: they made their circumstances fit their desires. They would not move around obstacles, but rather smash through them, and they refused to stay in one box for too long. The Jurisdiction merely saw them as a particularly loud nuisance, but those who faced their wrath knew better.
It is said that when a beast seeks to make an example, it shall humble its rival by killing it's cubs. Children were one of those universal constants that brought entire communities together: the Sok’klar saw their hatchlings as gifts, shaped by the fruitful currents of the universe in perfect harmony. The Yarrack saw each and every newborn whelp as an uncut gemstone, ready to be shaped into something magical. Humanity oftentimes referred to their offspring as angels, or spirits of unbridled good sent by the gods themselves. Children were seen by most of the galaxy as gifts.
The Jurisdiction saw them as a lever to inflict suffering. It had become quite effective at enacting psychological punishments on those that stood up and spoke out. You dare to disobey? You believe you can speak out? Your gifts shall be taken from you, and you shall be without joy.
Humans didn't like this, but the Jurisdiction would have their pound of flesh, and humankind would kneel. And they did. But humans were patient creatures: most species who retained that trait of willful spit also lacked patience.
I had long since become desensitized to the Jurisdiction’s actions: it was simply how the universe worked now, as if it were a constant akin to gravity. Cruelty was the unspoken rule of this seemingly unending age, where our lives never appeared to move forward or backwards, only lay dormant. The Jurisdiction had been the unyielding authority that ruled the galaxy for thousands of years, venerable yet feared all the same.
And for the longest time I was just another cog in its wheel. My name is Kalnuracht Sedjuur-Noumar VII, and was the scion of the noble house Sedjuur-Noumar. I was born into what most would describe as veiled apathy, living a life that could be attributed to the privileged class of feared scribes that enacted the will of those above. I was an administrator and nothing more. And now I am doomed to be far less than that in the eyes of my former constituents within the endless administration. I am the only scion, as is tradition, and without an heir I am the last of my house, our name to be scrubbed from the records, worthless, meaningless, and forgotten.
I am merely Kalnuracht, nothing else and nothing more. I have seen from their eyes, the eyes of the downtrodden, and it makes my crimes of association with the Jurisdiction feel all the more damning on my worthless soul. I am worthless to the world, and this is my story.
End Personal Log #1
Start of Neural Lace Narrative Log #1
They came from the black like carrion birds in the night, encircling our convoy as if it were a dying animal ready to be picked clean without remorse. There was no warning, no list of demands sent out as civilized peoples did, nor was there either any requirement for unconditional surrender nor chance to parlay, as was done so under letter of marque: this was an unmistakable call for violence and nothing else. They sought to reduce us to slag and scavenge the rest.
So, as one would expect, the entire bridge of the ship was nearing a panicked state. This was not the actions of those practicing civility, but rather the common behaviors of despoiling barbarians, the kind that tore their way through the dark reaches of the galaxy as if they owned it.
“Wayfinder, what do your probes see?” Shouted the ship’s sovereign. He was an older Kar’Rowmach, an amphibious cephalopod species with a venerable history within the Jurisdiction going back thousands of years. Normally one such as him would be above me if it weren't for the fact that I was under the authority of the Jurisdiction’s seal of office. He didn't like me very much, but most of his kind shared the same sentiment.
“All dark, honorable Sovereign: the sensor arrays are wailing but the feedback we're reviewing is beyond incomprehensible,” the wayfinder replied with a certain restrained temper in his voice. The Sok'klar wayfinder swayed gently, his tentacled limbs grasping different metallo-liquid braille output arrays, the liquid gallium flexing and reshaping unnaturally to allow him to to take in multiple different sources of sensory output at once, with the primary navigation computer plugged into the cybernetics surrounding his opaque, gelatinous head and plugging directly into his tube-shaped brain.
The Sovereign cursed in Loskat and pointed to his bridge crew while I simply sat in the back, near the Sovereign’s symbolic throne. “Prepare countermeasures and spool up the warp drive, we cannot allow the amanuensis to be taken! He carries sensitive information that only he can translate and transcribe!”
As the bridge crew nodded and began fiddling with their own systems, I preened my feathered hide anxiously. I wasn't a fighter: us nobles of the cloth were the educated minority above all else, not those who waged war or partook in hard labor. Special cybernetics in my brain allowed me to translate triple-encoded messages that usually took a ducal signet codekey or above to parse, but even without that I was a skilled mathematician and logician. I had terabytes worth of knowledge stored within the hardware installed in my head, all well protected of course, but if I were to die it would still be a waste. I could only imagine the damage any malcontenders could do with it if they were able to get their filthy hands on me.
Suddenly, the ship rocked, and the gallium overhead display began to form crescendos like I'd never seen before. “Sovereign, decks A-3 through C-12 are venting atmosphere and our coolant systems have been obliterated,” the Wayfinder spoke in an almost serene voice, as if he was completely unconcerned by current events. I knew they were simply incapable of tonal displays, but it was unnerving nonetheless. “Once we jump, we will not be able to risk another until the vacuum of the void can reduce temperatures to acceptable levels within the plasma capacitors.”
“Damn them,” the armored nautiloid hissed, his barbed feelers coiling in frustration, “May the currents take them. What are our options? what can we see? This fleet cannot fall to the void today, not with such vital cargo.” My hackles rose lightly at the Kar’Rowmach referred to me as some object rather than an esteemed amanuensis of the Jurisdiction, but I bit my forked tongue. Now was not the time to squabble with the sovereign over who was what and what titles I deserved, not while he was so desperately attempting to keep what semblance of order within his fleet that he had left.
I could not blame the crew for being panicked either: wars were practically mythologized now, having been long since rendered obsolete with the rise of the Jurisdiction, and that felt like an eternity ago. Now, either being levied into or joining a ducal naval force was simply another career, more akin to serving as an officer of the law rather than a fully fledged soldier. Minimal training was required, most of it being the technicals of one's duty rather than any kind of combat conditioning, so expecting a fleet to actually be prepared for a combat scenario in a universe where peace was the norm was laughable.
“We are practically blind, Sovereign,” stated the Sok'klar Wayfinder, “our probes are offline, and shipboard graviton displacement sensory arrays have been rendered unreliable at best.”
“What about the particle emission array? Has there been a spike in radioactivity where we were hit?”
The Wayfinder seemed to think for a second, his gelatinous form flexing and morphing a bit before answering. “Affirmative, a jump from negligible to forty billion becquerels along decks A through E-5 on our starboard side.”
“Torpedoes…” the Sovereign hissed, stroking his barbed feelers, “Human Torpedoes. Only those primitives would rely on crude nuclear warheads.” He then turned to his militant leaders on the ship. “Noddos, Rel’ads: organize your phalanxes and prepare to repel boarders. We are bound to be assailed by those rancorous primates, and I want their skulls piled at my feet if they dare set foot on our ship.”
“Your wish is our command, Sovereign,” the two militant commanders spoke as one. Noddos, a large bipedal with multiple sets of curved spines running down his back, a pair of graceful horns sprouting from his head, and multiple rows of sharp teeth in his snout, bowed first, followed by Rel’ads, a marsupial with long saberteeth and thick fur. They both must have been fierce warriors in their own right to each lead a phalanx. They wore thick, semi-powered armor and held dueling polearms alongside their usual plasma casters, and seemed completely unfazed by the situation we were in. As they stomped out of the brightly lit bridge, I let out a quiet squawk of discontentment. “Sovereign, why haven't we jumped again? We are wasting precious time.”
“I am working on it, you spineless beaurocrat!” He warbled back, his feelers tensing in anger, “besides, it's not as if you're the one who will be spilling blood today, amanuensis, so flatten your wretched beak or I shall weld it shut with a plasma torch.
I was about to reply with something indignant, but the ship rocked again, this time causing the lights to flicker and the air to become… thick. The skin under my feathers began to blister, and I became lightheaded and confused. “Seal the damnable vents, initiate radiation scrubbers, and activate secondary life support!” Shouted the Sovereign, “Their nuclear weapons are rendering the ship inhospitable!”
I coughed up magenta blood accidentally, and I could feel more seeping from under my eyes. Some of the crew was in a similar position, but others were more resistant to radiation than I. The Sok'klar seemed completely at ease as he ran his tentacles across his morphic braille arrays before calmly announcing the ship’s status. “I've regained some control over our probes: ten, twelve, and seventeen are active and fully functional, the rest are either still malfunctioning or permanently inoperable. A rapid rise in localized radiation is also interfering with the detection of graviton displacement; we can't sense photon redirection, thus readings will remain inconclusive.
“Wayfinder, damn you, get me some kind of out here! We're easy prey until we can respond in kind!”
“Negative, something has gone awry with our processing hub, I am attempting to troubleshoot-”
And with that, the Wayfinder’s bulbous head exploded in a cascade of opaque lavender blood, covering the front half of the deck crew like a morbid art piece. Some of the crew screamed and shouted in terror before removing their cranial adaptors and choosing to interact with their displays manually. Others died just as quickly, unable to unplug in time as their brain stems fried or their blood boiled. It was a horrible way to go, having your insides neutralized by your own cybernetics, so I was glad I wasn't connected to the system.
“Cybernetic warfare! All systems are to be considered compromised, switch to manual settings or you'll be killed!”
The lights in the bridge flickered again, and the displays went haywire. The bridge crew, which obviously weren't acquainted with working without being hard-linked into the mainframe, moved at a much slower pace.
“Launch missile pods A through F and set to self-target after five hundred kilometers, then rely on their ballistic coordinates to begin firing broadsides! If we can't see the humans due to their meddling, we'll just have to feel them.” Shouted the Sovereign, “and got me a detailed report on the ship’s diagnostics readings. I need to know if this flagship is still capable of escaping or if we'll have to scuttle it and retreat on another.”
“Acknowledged, Sovereign, launching now,” affirmed another deck officer as he swiped across his own gallium output array. I could hear the dull thunk, thunk, thunk of missiles pushing out of their pods before racing off to their intended targets, then the mechanical whirring as the pods rotated to be reloaded by slaves in the lower decks. I was regaining my bearings as the many horrible sensations of being overwhelmed by radiation poisoning were beginning to subside, but I still felt as if I had been microwaved. The air was stale, the crew was horribly sick as well, and even the sovereign himself seemed to be on his last leg. I was beginning to believe that I might die here.
“Sovereign, a message from the lower decks,” shouted a communications officer, his chitin scraping against itself as he turned quickly, “they're requesting reinforcements, something about being overrun.”
“Impossible,” the Sovereign hissed out in a vain attempt to exude confidence, “We must outnumber the humans, they always go for bigger targets out of arrogance.”
“I've received reports that it's not just humans: the primates seem to make up only a third or so of the assailing force, along with some Phaeldaer and Vrex.”
The commander slammed his clawed hands down on his own output array in a fit of rage, obviously overwhelmed by the circumstances, “Then this wasn't just a typical assault, but something more sinister!” The nautiloid warbled, blood seeping from his shell as the full effects of the radiation took hold, “Get Rel’ads on the line, have him divert all spare lances to the lower decks or else we'll lose the only offensive capabilities we can use.”
“Rel'ads has gone dark, Sovereign, his vitals are critical.”
“Then either get me Rel'ads tail-leader or get me Noddos!” He screamed in rage, “don't give me this nonsense! If we don't pick it up we're all going to die, is that what you want?”
“No, Sovereign, I'm simply overwhelmed-”
“We're all overwhelmed! By the tides, I'm dying of radiation poisoning you nincompoop! Get me something I can work with!”
The officer didn't even acknowledge the Sovereign after that, simply turning back to his display. Eventually, the Sovereign was able to get Noddos on the line.
“Sovereign, two thirds of my phalanxes have been decimated by combat with the primitives and the radiation, the rest are in shambles. We must retreat and fortify elsewhere!”
“Then the ship is compromised! Rel'ads is unresponsive and the lower decks are swarming with intruders. We must evacuate the amanuensis to another ship.”
Just as the Sovereign spoke, I heard several gentle thumps rattle against the bridge’s door, and it made me uneasy. Some of the bridge crew seemed to feel the same, as they looked incredibly nervous and some even drew their sidearms. Just as the sovereign turned to give further orders, the door blew inward with a deafening explosion, followed by shouting and gunfire. Several of the bridge officers were dispatched quickly, brain matter and blood splattering against the delicate electronics. Others were shot in the legs, the torso, or in any other exotic yet non-vital body parts. The humans poured in, brandishing primitive ballistic firearms and jury-rigged energy weapons while wearing scavenged, legion-grade powered armor.
The Sovereign was the next to go, but he wasn't afforded an honorable death. He was shot along the arm with a particularly potent plasma caster, burning off his clawed hand and cauterizing the wound, the acrid smell of roasting chitin filling the already hot and cramped bridge. He fell back against his output array, the gallium reaching new highs and lows as more diagnostics and casualty reports were delivered, and he clutched his stump angrily. “I'll burn every last one of you in the foundries! I'll tie you to stakes, cover you in wax and set you alight! Your screams will be broadcasted all over the galaxy!”
One human warrior stomped up and slammed the butt of his rifle into the sovereign’s face, shattering his facial plates and causing blue blood to splatter across his section of the bridge. “Shut the fuck up, you mutant lobster,” the human said before dragging him by both antennae towards the center of the bridge and receiving a stained breeching axe from one of his comrades. “Emmanuel, start recording. We need proof.”
The other human nodded and pressed a button on his armor before lifting up his gun again. The rest of the humans fanned out, holding everyone else at gunpoint. I tried to get up and sneak out, but a human grabbed me by my neck and nearly wrung it out as he forced me to my knees and pointed a sidearm to my skull. “Get down, you piece of shit, before I blow your brains out too.”
“Damnable primate,” I hissed, but he bashed me in my skull with the base of his sidearm’s grip and sent me sprawling, making my already pounding headache worse. Another human shouted at him in a language I didn't recognize, but he sounded furious. The first brought me back up to my knees again, and I complies with a hiss and a groan, blood still leaking from my eyes and mouth and my world was spinning.
The Sovereign struggled, but he was weak from the radiation poisoning and he couldn't exactly resist on account of his lost arm. The human with the breaching ax kicked the Sovereign down and forced him to kneel before lifting up the breeching ax and splitting his chitinous head down the middle with one powerful swing, sending more blood and brains across the floor. “Execution confirmed, take his antennae just in case and we've got ourselves a bounty. Now all we need is that ugly cat’s teeth and the fat hedgehog-thing’s grimy spines and we'll be in business. Although, they do have skulls… we might as well just take their heads.”
The real horror of the situation dawned on me at that moment: they were going to kill us all, or maybe worse. They mentioned a bounty for the commanders, and multiple of the higher ranking ship officers were already dead, their brains splattered against the walls or their bodies torn apart by gunfire. I wasn't dead yet, but that didn't mean much since I wasn't an immediate threat.
“Alright, round them up and bring all the grunts to the hanger bay, then kill the rest,” the leader of the humans said in such a lackadaisical manner that his complete disregard for life almost made me sick… almost. I had seen worse from the Jurisdiction before, but usually that was from me delivering some kind of ordered judgment on a world that had sinned against order. I might have simply been the messenger, but I had seen many of the outcomes. “And make sure to collect whatever proof of bounties you can, we'll need to deliver them to the office to get cashed out. Don't let this be a repeat of last time where Juarez fucking forgot to take a few heads and it ended up cutting our profits in half, the fucking retard.”
Some of the humans chuckled at that as they dragged more of the senior officers away, out of the room and into the hall,where I heard gunshots. The rest of the bridge crew froze in place, different fear instincts kicking in. The remaining Sok'klar corralled together into what seemed to be a singular, semi-congealed mass as if to try and trick the humans into believing that they were much bigger and much more threatening than they actually were. The one Thei’chi on the bridge, an ensign who had clearly thought this would be a simple mission, bore her curved fangs at the humans and growled as they approached, her hackles completely vertical and her eyes dilated. They quickly muzzled and bound her before beating her over the head with a gun stock, sending her sprawling onto the ground. Many others simply cooperated, eyes wide and yet simultaneously empty, as if they couldn't quite process that the ship had been taken and the commanding officers were being executed as the rest were escorted to the hangar.
“Get the damn messenger down to the hanger as well, we need whatever data's in his ugly lizard head, then we can decide on what to do with him.”
I spat at him in spite, as if to try and seem brave, but it was clearly an empty gesture. “You won't get anything, primate! You couldn't possibly crack the encryption!”
The human holding me seemed to wind up for another swing, but the commanding officer simply held up his hand to stop my tormentor before strolling over to me. He knelt down and removed his helmet, revealing a beige-colored face covered in scars, wiry black hair cut down to the scalp, and multiple tattoos. “You're really fucking mouthy for a hostage,” he said before punching me across my beak faster than I could register. I heard a sharp crack as his fist connected, and my head spun again as the metallic taste of blood pooled into my mouth. “I'd advise you to shut up, but I'm sure you won't listen: you aristocratic types are so full of yourselves. Maybe I should have you flogged in the public square until your vocal chords give out once we rip those cybernetics from your head, huh? How's that sound?”
“It won't matter… it won't change anything… the Jurisdiction will hunt you down.”
“Maybe, but I doubt it will happen for some time: they really suck at doing anything that requires effort, even when they're mad enough. They just keep sending their rabid lapdogs to try and smoke us out, and they always end up full of holes,” the human officer said with a smirk, his yellowish-white teeth and green eyes sending shivers down my spine as he drew his knife. “They're just horrible at their job, you know? You've all gotten so lazy and incompetent after being able to just take what you want without resistance, and now that you've met people who are angry and crazy enough to fight back you act as if we're committing some grave injustice,” he placed the knife against my throat, the flat just underneath my now bent beak, “No, we just took a few pages out of your book, ‘cept we've got standards. No kids, for one…” he seemed to look off into the distance as his sneer deepened, “but it's more than that, we don't attack the defenseless in general and we still win against you all in fair fights.”
I went to say something else snarky, but he quickly grabbed my thin tongue with his fingers and yanked it out, blood from my mouth pulling to the floor as he held the blade of his knife against it. “No no, none of that. Say one more thing and I'll cut that rancid little tongue of yours out of your mouth and feed it to you,” he hissed at me, pressing the blade down just hard enough to draw blood. “Do you know what it's like to see a planet turn into a tomb?" he asked me, gritting his teeth, “Do you know what it's like to see everything you've ever known crumble to ash and glass, all the life and the green stripped away leaving nothing but bones? I do. I've seen it happen to countless worlds, and my grandfather always told me stories of how you bastards did it to Earth. He still prays in its direction five times a day, to Mecca, but he knows the Kaaba is gone now, or maybe it's still there, buried in the bones of those who sought refuge there.”
I didn't care for the human’s nonsensical beliefs, but I did care to correct him. “I've seen it before, and I'll see it again. And so will you, it's inevitable. The Jurisdiction will always have its judgment fulfilled, there is no alternative.”
“One day, I hope we can rectify that,” he said, then he sheathed his knife and slammed my head against the metal floor with enough force to nearly knock me out. As I lost consciousness, I could hear him speak. “Take him to the Chop Doc, and make sure the cybernetics don't get damaged: they're supposedly more valuable than any bounty on this ship.”
Warning: Severe radiation poisoning detected. Flush system immediately.
Warning: Neural Lace removal detected, chance of neurological damage high. Proceeded with caution.

I had to rescue a boded pair of semi-feral cats (long story but they had to be moved). I got the daughter 4 months ago, she is thriving and is super happy inside. She sleeps on my bed at night. I captured her mother who is more feral 2 weeks ago. She has been locked in a bathroom while waiting for her vet appointment which is in 10 days. I feel horrible about keeping her locked up but I have no other choice. The vet has been reassuring that it is okay to keep her confined for 3 weeks. The vet told me to give her 50mg of gabapentin every day to help her relax. I am to give her 100mg the night before the vet appointment and 100mg 2 hours before. So, this morning I was going to put 50mg in her Churu. I had to open the capsule to split the power in half. I tasted a smidge and it is horribly bitter. I mean, it is bad. I’m worried if I put it in her churu, she will stop eating them. She did not eat for 4 days after rescue so I don’t want to lose progress on that front. I really need to her to eat one the morning of her vet appointment. I don’t want to screw up that one chance either. How are you giving your cats gabapentin? I cannot pill her. She is not used to being touched. She bit me during rescue and I had to take antibiotics and deal with the ordeal of animal control and the health department. She would not go inside the trap (tried for months) and we had to scruff her. Anyway, I need all the tips and tricks of how to get this baby to take gabapentin. I will add that she has been through TNR but that was 2.5 years ago.

I just purchased the VanTrue N4 DashCam. I am choosing the hardwire installation. I need to have 24hr power to be able to record while parked all night. Has anyone done this installation? Short of testing each fuse with a tester, is there any way to know which have power when the vehicle is not running? How difficult is it to hide the wires? Any unexpected tool requirements. Any tips or tricks? TIA

PCPartPicker Part List: https://uk.pcpartpicker.com/list/N9sHbL
CPU: AMD Ryzen 7 7800X3D 4.2 GHz 8-Core Processor (£319.00 @ Amazon UK)
CPU Cooler: Thermalright Peerless Assassin 120 SE 66.17 CFM CPU Cooler (£35.00 @ Computer Orbit)
Motherboard: MSI B650 GAMING PLUS WIFI ATX AM5 Motherboard (£149.00 @ Computer Orbit)
Memory: Corsair Vengeance 32 GB (2 x 16 GB) DDR5-6000 CL30 Memory (£116.99 @ Amazon UK)
Storage: Samsung 980 Pro 2 TB M.2-2280 PCIe 4.0 X4 NVME Solid State Drive (£164.94 @ Amazon UK)
Video Card: Gigabyte WINDFORCE OC GeForce RTX 4070 12 GB Video Card (£499.99 @ Amazon UK)
Case: Corsair 4000D Airflow ATX Mid Tower Case (£89.99 @ Amazon UK)
Power Supply: Corsair RM750e (2023) 750 W 80+ Gold Certified Fully Modular ATX Power Supply (£109.00 @ Computer Orbit)
Total: £1483.91
Prices include shipping, taxes, and discounts when available
Generated by PCPartPicker 2024-05-19 12:43 BST+0100

PCPartPicker Part List: https://uk.pcpartpicker.com/list/N9sHbL
CPU: AMD Ryzen 7 7800X3D 4.2 GHz 8-Core Processor (£319.00 @ Amazon UK)
CPU Cooler: Thermalright Peerless Assassin 120 SE 66.17 CFM CPU Cooler (£35.00 @ Computer Orbit)
Motherboard: MSI B650 GAMING PLUS WIFI ATX AM5 Motherboard (£149.00 @ Computer Orbit)
Memory: Corsair Vengeance 32 GB (2 x 16 GB) DDR5-6000 CL30 Memory (£116.99 @ Amazon UK)
Storage: Samsung 980 Pro 2 TB M.2-2280 PCIe 4.0 X4 NVME Solid State Drive (£164.94 @ Amazon UK)
Video Card: Gigabyte WINDFORCE OC GeForce RTX 4070 12 GB Video Card (£499.99 @ Amazon UK)
Case: Corsair 4000D Airflow ATX Mid Tower Case (£89.99 @ Amazon UK)
Power Supply: Corsair RM750e (2023) 750 W 80+ Gold Certified Fully Modular ATX Power Supply (£109.00 @ Computer Orbit)
Total: £1483.91
Prices include shipping, taxes, and discounts when available
Generated by PCPartPicker 2024-05-19 12:43 BST+0100

PCPartPicker Part List: https://uk.pcpartpicker.com/list/N9sHbL
CPU: AMD Ryzen 7 7800X3D 4.2 GHz 8-Core Processor (£319.00 @ Amazon UK)
CPU Cooler: Thermalright Peerless Assassin 120 SE 66.17 CFM CPU Cooler (£35.00 @ Computer Orbit)
Motherboard: MSI B650 GAMING PLUS WIFI ATX AM5 Motherboard (£149.00 @ Computer Orbit)
Memory: Corsair Vengeance 32 GB (2 x 16 GB) DDR5-6000 CL30 Memory (£116.99 @ Amazon UK)
Storage: Samsung 980 Pro 2 TB M.2-2280 PCIe 4.0 X4 NVME Solid State Drive (£164.94 @ Amazon UK)
Video Card: Gigabyte WINDFORCE OC GeForce RTX 4070 12 GB Video Card (£499.99 @ Amazon UK)
Case: Corsair 4000D Airflow ATX Mid Tower Case (£89.99 @ Amazon UK)
Power Supply: Corsair RM750e (2023) 750 W 80+ Gold Certified Fully Modular ATX Power Supply (£109.00 @ Computer Orbit)
Total: £1483.91
Prices include shipping, taxes, and discounts when available
Generated by PCPartPicker 2024-05-19 12:43 BST+0100

Hello EtsyPhotographers!
When it comes to product photography, the choice of camera can significantly impact the quality of your images. So, let's discuss why compact cameras might not be the best option for product photography and why smartphones can often be a superior choice if you don’t have access to a DSLR or mirrorless camera.
Why Compact Cameras Fall Short:

• Limited Manual Control: Most compact cameras offer limited manual control over settings like aperture, shutter speed, and ISO. This restricts your ability to fine-tune the exposure and depth of field, which are crucial for professional-looking product photos.
• Smaller Sensors: Compact cameras typically have smaller sensors compared to DSLRs and mirrorless cameras, resulting in lower image quality, especially in low light conditions. This can lead to noisier images and less detail in your product shots.
• Fixed Lenses: Compact cameras usually come with fixed lenses that don't offer the versatility needed for different types of product photography. The inability to change lenses limits your ability to experiment with different focal lengths and perspectives. They also tend to have a very limited aperture range, which will limit your creativity.
• Limited Focus Capabilities: Many compact cameras struggle with precise focusing, especially in macro or close-up shots, which are common in product photography. This can result in images that lack sharpness and detail.

Why Smartphones Can Be Better:

• Advanced Camera Technology: Modern smartphones are equipped with advanced camera technology, including high-resolution sensors, sophisticated image processing, and multiple lenses that provide greater versatility.
• Ease of Use: Smartphones are incredibly user-friendly, with intuitive interfaces and the ability to manually control most settings in software, which makes it easier to capture great photos without too much hassle.
• App Ecosystem: There are numerous photography apps available for smartphones that offer powerful editing tools and additional camera features. Apps like Adobe Lightroom, and even native camera apps provide excellent post-processing capabilities.
• Portability and Convenience: Smartphones are always with you, making them highly convenient for quick product shoots. Their compact size and lightweight design mean you can easily set up a mini studio anywhere - but do invest a tripod for best results!
• Connectivity: Smartphones allow for instant sharing and uploading of images, making it easy to update your online store or social media channels quickly.

Community Activity:

• Smartphone Photography Showcase: Share your best product photos taken with a smartphone. Include details about the settings and apps you used to capture and edit the images.
• Tips and Tricks: Provide tips for getting the most out of your smartphone camera for product photography. What techniques have worked well for you?

Improving Smartphone Photography: If you’re using a smartphone for product photography, consider these tips to enhance your results:

• Use Natural Light: Take advantage of natural light whenever possible to achieve soft, even illumination.
• Invest in Accessories: Simple accessories like tripods and reflectors can significantly improve your smartphone photography. And don't forget some props!
• Edit Thoughtfully: Use editing apps to adjust exposure, white balance, and sharpness to make your product images stand out.

Smartphones have come a long way in terms of camera capabilities and can often outperform compact cameras in product photography. By leveraging their advanced features and user-friendly interfaces, you can capture stunning product images that showcase your items in the best possible light.
Feel free to ask questions, share additional tips, and discuss your experiences with using smartphones for product photography. Let’s make the most of our mobile devices and create amazing product photos!

Took advantage of yesterday's lovely weather and headed out along NCR75 with the intention of going as far as I could in training for the Five Ferries later this summer, and getting the train back.
I picked up a pair of dhb Dorica MTB shoes from eBay, and spent my £40 of confused.com reward vouchers on a pair of Shimano EH500 hybrid pedals (sometimes take the bike to work so wanted double sided pedals). Not sure I felt much difference from a power point of view, although there were a few times when I felt my right foot lifting and my left foot catching "up" on it's down stroke. Probably get a better comparison on a shorter route that I know. Probably was because it's new and I was very conscious of it, but had no issues remembering to clip out, and the combination of the MTB cleats and the channel of the shoes made it very easy to clip in. With the dual sided pedals it was also easy enough to get away from lights etc and then flip the pedal and clip in later.
Lastly, I asked here a few weeks back about drink options and as you can make a custom tasting pack I elected to give Torq a shot. Bought 2 each of the Berry, Lemon and Tangerine drinks, 1 each of the Blackcurrant, Lime Lemon, Lemon and Cola energy drinks and a few gels and flapjacks to make it up to 15 items and get a 10% discount.
Overall quite impressed. I usually like strong flavours, and these are quite subtle, but refreshing. Think more like flavoured water such as Volvic touch of fruit, the Lemon hydration drink for example is quite sharp tasting like cloudy lemonade. Haven't tried all of them yet but IMO worth a shot, and the custom tasting pack option means you don't have to buy a big bag of something you might not like or buy a bottle (my other pet hate with such things, got so many High5 bottles cos their sample packs are always on offer!). Haven't tried the gels yet but the flapjacks are tasty, although the 2 I had (carrot cake and ginger) pretty much tasted the same.

I have tested the PSU by jumper pin trick and it works. No physical damage to motherboard and GPU. Could you guys help in fixing the power button? I really don't know what to do now.

Hi,
Here's some DD on Intel. There's a lot of bullshit, just read the TL;DR.
My position:
17 Dec25 $60 Calls, net basis of $1.57, unrealized total gain/loss of ($842.18).
Before discussing ratios, technicals, etc. Let's go through the most relevant business units.

Revenue Analysis

CPU Market
Intel currently produces the fastest CPU chip on the market in the 14-900K and 14-900KS on 10nm lithography, compared to the AMD's 7950x3D on 5nm.
While Intel does fall short in categories beyond speed compared to AMD, such as being much more power-hungry (on a turbo overclock Intel's flagship chip consumes 253W's compared to 162W for AMD) and prone to instability (seen in recent reports of motherboard crashes,) Intel still retains 78-82% of CPU Market share as of February.
Intel will likely retain this CPU dominance in the coming years with its adoption of more recent industry technologies like EUV tech, which should allow for convergence and then surpassing TSMC's manufacturing edge by late 2025/early 2026. Additionally, if Intel is able to effectively compete on old lithography at 10nm, if they were to reach parity of lithography <=5nm, they could actually expand their CPU dominance.
Therefore, Intel's share of the PC/OEM revenue from CPU sales will likely remain consistent and potentially improve depending on AMD's ability to implement new 3D memory and transistor designs, and as 40-45% of Intel's revenue is derived from this market, as PC sales return from the 2022 post-covid collapse, we can expect Intel's revenue to grow at least in line with the growth of PC/workstation sales, which, though weak in Q1, is set for healthy growth throughout FY24 and FY25.
GPU/AI Accelerator Market
Intel did not even compete in this market until April of this year with its launch of Gaudi 3, and as Nvidia currently holds 98% of the data center GPU market, a near-absolute monopoly, raking in $47.5B of revenue in FY23, even if Intel is only able to capture 4% of that market share from Nvidia, that's ~$2B of additional revenue on top of its existing FY23 revenue of $55.4B, and that's assuming Intel only captures 4% of Nvidia's current market share.
Until we see how Intel's accelerator actually performs in the market, however, I don't think additional assumptions can be reasonably made.
Foundry
Intel's foundry business has gotten a lot of bad news lately, especially due to the restructuring of financial statements to better reflect the amount of revenue it eats up.
But I think it's important to realize that by dividing up intel into the design business and the foundry business as separate units, we're likely to see each business more successfully compete against their respective peers (TSMC vs. Intel Foundry, and AMD/Nvidia vs. Intel Design.) But not enough time has passed since the change to see any evidence to substantiate a theory one way or another yet.
And as near-shoring continues and funds from the CHIPS Act are handed out, I do want to point out that Intel's foundry competitor, TSMC, has never operated a chips manufacturing plant in America before, compared to Intel, a company very familiar with American chip manufacturing. And I don't think it's a given that TSMC's new American plants will operate as successfully here as they did in Taiwan, due to staffing and cultural issues; staffing issues would impact Intel's new plants as well of course, but if the issues are cultural, rather than just the ability to find skilled employees, TSMC could lose margin and benefit less from the CHIPS Act than Intel.
But TSMC could also retain its advantage by investing in other Western countries with similar cultures to Taiwan such as Japan and South Korea, which it has already begun. But Intel doesn't need to dominate TSMC, or even effectively compete with the company: if Intel just broke even on its costs, that would be an additional $7B of revenue on top of Intel's trailing annual revenue of $55.4B.

Stock Pricing

Now that we know where Intel stands against its competitors in key products, how does it price against these competitors?
It currently sits with a TTM P/E of 33.6x compared to 237x for AMD, 79x for NVDA, 29x for TSMC (I believe AMD and NVDA are more relevant for price comparisons given their revenue is gotten from Intel's main source of revenue, design, rather than manufacturing, with TSMC.)
Intel's forward P/E is 28.8x, compared to 47x for AMD, 38.2x for NVDA, and 23.4x for TSMC.
Intel has a dividend of 1.56%, AMD has no dividend, NVDA has a 0.02% dividend, and TSMC has a dividend of 1%.
So compared to its design peers, the stock is cheap; compared to its manufacturing peer it's modestly expensive.

Technicals

Intel's stock is within 20% of its 52-week low.
MACD (12,26) is -1.6.
EMA (9) is -2.1.
RSI of 41, off a recent low of 23.

Conclusion

There are better things to buy while we wait for Intel's turnaround to materialization, but Intel is actively trying to revive itself and it's comparatively cheap.
TL;DR
Intel's revenue could pop with the secular return of the PC/Workstation market next year, the CHIPS Act allowing for margin expansion in the foundry business, and the entrance into the AI market with Gaudi 3, but much remains in the air as the CHIPS Act funds were just allocated (not even distributed), Gaudi 3 just launched, and the foundry business was just separated as its own business unit recently.
I wouldn't recommend jumping in until more data comes out on their turnaround.
I'm aiming for a price of $45 before my expiration date as a gamble on the return of PC sales, the success of future Intel GPUs, and the fact I don't want to lose money.

It pains to even say this but, most people just called it BS if it wasn't present with an evident, like, that's just outright ignorant, especially right now, most of you guys don't know this, but I know a few of you knew because you're those person, in this earth, there're a few kings, that's already been descended to the earth, some of them is, The Water King if you know the incident in brazil a few years ago you'll know what I'm talking about, the amateur King literally drowned while testing his/her power at the entire set of satan worship event just because he's angry at satan worshiper, guess that person is a Christian huh? The other is The Weather King, playing tricks on the entire asian continent with full power by clearing most of the atmosphere out of the entire continent, making that place hot af, anyway, I can only tell that much, I gotta hide something even bigger for other time cuz someone told me to, bye.