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2024.05.19 16:04 corporalcorl Just curious and have a question about how people feel about armor, new system V.S old aswell as if the new system was slightly revamped
As it stands the current system sucks because of how they introduced it. Body armor IRL works because it protects vital organs, and most nonprotected areas are cute little fleshy skin places, the issue in Tarkov is that the whole thorax seems to be a vital organ, but still only takes the position of normal real-life armor sets protecting center mass vital organs. A lot of this is already known my question. Would you prefer the armor system to be reverted, or they could go back to armor just flat protecting the whole body thorax but with all the new features they added, instead of just the plate, it that whole area all around, so level 6 back plate protects the entire back of your thorax and if the rig goes far enough down, your stomach as well, and the same for all places around like sides protect whole side, front protects the whole front. in short, regardless of visible protection sizing and what it looks like, the entirety of your thorax is protected as long as the plate is in. OR Do we want the system added onto? rather than the half message BSG gave us, they go fully in, giving us actual vital organs, making organs vs fleshy spots a place. if I get shot in my shoulder it won't kill me like if you shot my rib. this would make armor much more useful, if you watch streamers you see them running around with level 3 rigs with no plate, the weight to protection isn't worth it IMO, and clearly to others. Something else they could do is make the thorax break into 2 spots, outer and inner thorax, you'd have to heal each individually giving the outside like 60 health, and inside like 40, the only way to get to it is without armor or penetration. maybe they could also give a 100% bleed chance if you penetrate the chest, cause let's be honest, if a bullet goes through your chest and ribs there's gonna be a lot of blood.
tell me your thoughts, maybe you have a different idea to add to this.
submitted by corporalcorl to EscapefromTarkov [link] [comments]
tell me your thoughts, maybe you have a different idea to add to this.
2024.05.19 16:04 RiekerVerse Fun little build!
 | I'm not super good with the building system (yet) but I'm pretty proud of this little hauler! It does the job, isn't too much of a power cell hog, and I think it's cute! submitted by RiekerVerse to LEGOfortnite [link] [comments] Side note; I haven't been able to find any RECENT information on if cave resources respawn? Getting brightcore for the power cells has been a slog so far, especially with 5 of us on a server! |
2024.05.19 16:00 BrodogIsMyName Frontier Fantasy - Chap 39
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Edited by WaveOfWire
- - - - -
Two days… It had been two days that Tracy had gone to sleep while Harrison was working, only to come back in the morning to see him still in the workshop. She knew he was damn productive, sure, but that really couldn’t be healthy. Apparently, it had something to do with the weird bowl of orange… soup… that Cera gave him. No way was it just caffeine; any amount of the stuff would have been filtered out of his system by now. He mentioned a tingling feeling too…
Damn, she did not know enough about drugs to even start assuming what that massive alien had Harrison fucked up on. At least the scanner said he was ‘fine’—if you ignore the other glaring issues the machine brought up. Plus, he said he didn’t mind it. Either way, he managed to complete the weaving component and a few other electrical backbones of the fabricator last night, so the project was practically done, and after seeing the engineer work himself half to death, she was dead-set on finishing it.
She was currently tits-deep into the upper manufacturing portion of the towering machine. It took a tall step-stool—on top of the nearby desk—for her to push her small shoulders through the even smaller access panels high on the everything-printer. It was difficult to fit her torso in, but she managed, holding a flashlight between her teeth as she fiddled with a stubborn series of mechanical ‘hands.’ Nothing new. The situation reminded her of the ‘shop back on Mars; it had the same ever-present scent of copper and industrial sealant. All that was missing was her dad’s ancient tunes blasting through some shitty speakers… Hold on…
The modular component in her grip was successfully attached with a resonating thock. Tracy squirmed out of the dim wire-filled crevice, trying her best to not rip her only tank-top on any bolts or corners, and getting a face-full of the bright flood-lights illuminating the workshop. She scowled and blocked out the searing light with a hand, but she was a bit too late to avoid going half-blind.
“Are the mechanical manipulators in?” Harrison grunted, poking his head out underneath the printer’s floor-adjacent maintenance hatch. She looked down at him as she tried to blink off the spots in her vision. His hair was messy, barely kept in line by his habit of combing through it with his fingers. The areas around his eyes were dark and sunken… Guess that’s what two all-nighters did to a man. He’d be seeing the hat man or start hallucinating if he didn’t get any sleep soon… but then again, the two of them were so close to finishing the fabricator…
“You bet.” She gave him a thumbs up, slamming the panel cover closed. “Feel free to test it.”
He nodded and slid back underneath the machine. “Gotcha”
She gently stepped off the stool and slid off the side of the desk, stretching herself out. If her piss-poor sitting posture or her tank-top puppies hadn’t already fucked her spine up, bending over backward to build this fabricator sure as hell would. She sat down next to the panel where Harrison resided, resting her back against the fabrication tower. Her excited voice broke the muffled noises of the engineer’s work. “So… Harrison?”
“Hmm—”
“—Mind if I play some music?”
The sounds from the hatch stopped, followed by his muffled, shocked tone echoing from beneath the fabricator. “You have music!?”
She smirked at seeing the expression on his face when his head popped out again. “I sure do… Did you seriously not download any to your data pad?”
He slipped out from beneath the fabricator fully, huffing as he took a knee beside her. The scent of melded rubber, wire, and his liquid labor reached her nose not-so-unpleasantly. “You would not believe how much of a pain it is to repair an entire barracks without it… So, yeah, I didn’t.”
“Sooooooooo, whatcha wanna listen to? I’ve got almost everything on here—besides the super niche, of course.” She pulled her data pad out, swiping to the massive music folder
“You wouldn’t like the kinda music I listen to; It’s ancient.”
She gave him a lighthearted, annoyed glare. “Welcome to the club… Now what’ll it be?”
“It’s Old Earth kind of ancient… but alright” He looked up at the ceiling in thought, lips pursed. “Do you have anything from Styx or Sweet?”
She stared at him incredulously, her smirk turning into a fully-fledged smile. “Oh my God. You are an absolute dork! You actually listen to Golden Age music?”
His brows raised, accusatory. “And you somehow know exactly who those bands were and what age of Old Earth music they came from?”
She smugly leaned in closer. “That’s because I’m just as much of a nerd with that kinda music as you apparently are.” She quickly looked upward, addressing the workshop AI. “Sebas, connect nearby speakers to my data pad’s audio.” Tracy elbowed the engineer lightly as the PA system chirped its affirmation. “Now, Mr. Golden Age music, which albums do ya want me to queue up?”
- - - - -
The two of them listened to music for hours, tossing on songs they liked as they came to mind while they worked. Harrison had a ton of recommendations that spanned all over the Golden Ages and some twenty-first century classics. She didn’t even know half of them, but she was vibing either way, adding on her own taste by intermingling some older rock tracks and newer electronic beats. The playlist was steadily built up as the day went on. Thank God her dad showed her a vast array of tunes; she might not have been able to keep up with the engineer if her old man hadn't.
It made the work go by so fast, their conversations blurring as they jumped from topic to topic. They discussed whatever came to mind—old hobbies, old jobs, and old interests. A lot was left behind in Sol… At least she knew that the only other human on the planet was more interesting than a soulless workaholic. It turned out that he was a pretty big history buff, and he apparently read a lot about the colonization of the Sol system and the various wars of independence thereafter. Curious, she asked where the interest stemmed from, and he explained that his grandfather was an admiral in the Slavic-Europan deep-ice submarine fleet, which explained how Harrison’s mother was able to afford to immigrate to Mars from Europa.
He could also play an acoustic guitar, and, unfortunately for Tracy, he wasn’t even the slightest bit interested in printing one out, citing that it was a waste of time and material that would be better used elsewhere. That didn’t stop her from writing a note on her data pad to do so later, though. She hadn’t seen someone play one of those in years—the last time was probably in some old music video from the early twenty-second century. What a shame. She would have liked to hear some of the Europan songs his grandmother taught him.
On the bright side, the man seemed to take an interest in her odd hobbies. He brought up the folder of 3D models that she accidentally uploaded to the inter-module system and asked where she got the inspiration for what was in it. Boy, was he not ready for her ‘WarHalberd40k’ lore dump. Props to the guy for not standing up and leaving the workshop throughout her rambling. He even asked questions about the different factions and their weapons, which she was more than happy to talk about.
She also ended up going over the other franchises and hobbies she was interested in, such as robotics and the like. The only interruptions to their chat were the occasional Akula or Craftsman asking for insight regarding the various tasks he had allotted to them, or Shar coming in to check up on Harrison between guard shifts.
The new dynamic of the group was pretty interesting, to say the least. Tracy hadn’t been out to interact with the whole lot of Malkrin, but she definitely noticed how they treated the engineer. They’d started to look up to him in a way ever since he started showing off technology. In a little over two days, the man had shown them that he could provide the materials for a brick house, fine clothing—especially by the alien’s standards—armor, and delicious food. That wasn’t even mentioning the other benefits the technician heard a few of the ‘banished’ talking about over their meals: heating, electric lights, and other assorted machines.
She’d be feeling pretty happy about herself if she was in his position, having so many look up to him and be grateful at the same time. He seemed to view it a lot more robotically, however, only striving to get the basics done. Luckily for him, his basics were their luxury.
That wasn’t all there was to the topic; the engineer lamented about how the colony was going through food just as quickly as materials. The meals weren’t the direct issue he had, more that he had to start focusing on long-term resource harvesting rather than directly preparing for a literal horde of monsters—which wasn’t exactly ideal. It was a good thing that they just so happened to take on an influx of Malkrin then…
Either way, they finally finished the ‘totally legal modification’ for the fabricator, meaning they could at least partially address the latter half of his worries. The whole process of ripping out an old printer and replacing the parts for a new one felt a lot easier than she imagined… even if it took her at least forty-eight hours to complete it… with help from Harrison. Maybe that was why it felt so easy… She supposed the colony overseers didn’t choose the man for no reason, so his skills made sense.
“So… what do we want to print out first?” Tracy questioned, having finished testing the last major component.
The engineer stretched his arms up into the air and rotated his shoulders, then pulled back the desk’s chair and took a seat. “I’ve had just one thing in mind since the start of this whole project.”
Her brows raised in a mix of excitement and curiosity. She leaned forward, looking at the computer monitor from over his shoulder. “Oh? What’s that, then?”
A smirk formed along his cheek, the computer mouse rapidly clicking through the blueprint folder. “I’ve had a lot of time to think about what kind of firearm we need since I started dabbling in belt-fed weapon systems.” He opened one final file, a short loading bar preceding the exploded assembly view of… “An M2 Browning machine gun. It’s more than powerful enough to kill in one shot, while also being capable of fully-automatic fire, with a capacity of however many rounds we want in a belt-box.”
“Uh…huh…” She gave a skeptical nod and took a step back, not exactly sold on the idea. “It looks ancient. It’s kinetic, right? Why aren’t we using energy-based weapons? Don’t we have a gunpowder shortage coming up?”
He moved his chair off to the side to look back at her. “We just can’t; Simple as. We’ll need who knows how many more AI cores before we can get started on that level of equipment, Trace,” he huffed, returning his gaze to the specifications of the firearm. “This isn’t the most ‘modern’ weapon we can make, but its twenty-first century counterpart helps with an improved design… somewhat. And, as I said before, it should be more than capable of killing a bug in one shot, so Shar can just tap-fire it to save ammunition.”
Her head tilted quizzically. “Shar?”
“Yup,” he returned confidently. “It’s the perfect weapon for her.”
She raised a brow. “How so?”
He held his hand up, counting his reasons on his fingers. “She’s always on the front line with a shield, she can absolutely handle the weight and recoil, her four arms make reloading it simple, plus she’ll need something with range and power that isn’t a spear. So, why not? And, if for some reason, she doesn’t want to use it, we can just convert it into a turret—which is something I was planning on doing anyways with however more M2s we print out later.”
“I doubt she’ll say no to any gun you give her,” Tracy chuckled while shaking her head, inadvertently causing her bangs to cover her eyes.
“Fair enough,” he conceded with a bob of his head. “What do you think, then? What kinda weapons do you have in mind?”
She reapplied her goggles into an impromptu hairband, feeling a smirk cross her face. “Thought you’d never ask. What purpose do we need these guns to fulfill? Hordes I’m guessing?”
“That’s the idea, yeah. That doesn’t mean they all need to be machine guns, though.” He tapped the belt-fed shotgun beside him.
“Well, lemme see what we’re working with first.” She suddenly stepped forward, leaning over Harrison’s seat to access the keyboard and mouse. Her arms briefly rubbed against him, forcing him to roll his chair backward. She suppressed a giggle at seeing his incredulous frown.
Her eyes quickly traced the hundreds of individual files, clicking through all sorts of folders, each arranged from pre-twenty-first century ‘antiques,’ to more modern iterations of kinetics and particle weaponry. There was… a lot on there—almost too much to reasonably comb through. Why? Did the colony overseers just say ‘fuck it’ and put whatever they could find on here? Were they expecting the pioneers to make a museum of everything?
She sighed, standing up straight and facing Harrison. “Y’know, I’m actually impressed you managed to find that M2-whatever in there…”
He shifted in his seat, resting an elbow on the desk. “Yup, there’s a lot. I’m almost tempted to just make several of those machine guns and just call it a day, but I feel like that’d be too much of a strain on resources, no?”
“I don’t really know enough about how you fight those spider-crab things, or how to get more gunpowder, so… maybe?” She shrugged, biting her cheek in contemplation. “You might just wanna make a few smaller caliber weapons… like, uh… those old kinetic service rifles. If your pump-action shotgun works fine, I’m sure some normal guns would work just fine for now, right?”
He hardily gripped his firearm, hauling it up to his lap. “Depends on what you mean by ‘smaller caliber.’ The whole reason why the KS-23 here works—” he pulled out a massive shell from the ammo belt, displaying it on his palm. “—is because the twenty-three-millimeter round has enough energy transfer to mess up any bug's shell and insides. I’d say the smallest rounds we could use would be point-two-forty-three caliber to get any similar results.”
Brief flickers of grungy orange shells and gnashing teeth marred Tracy’s sight. She forcibly suppressed them, distracting herself with dry humor and a strained laugh. “Guess those fuckers can really take a punch, huh?”
He shook his head somberly. “I couldn’t imagine going up against them without a gun… Anyway, I like your idea of a standard rifle for now. Then, when we have some product lines up, we can go a little more in depth into personal weapons.”
“So are you gonna take one?” She hopped up on the desk, letting her legs swing off the side.
“Don’t think so, no. I’ll stick with my shotty.” The internals of the heavily modified weapon rattled as he held it up and inspected it. “Doesn’t mean I’ll keep it as is. I’m thinking of printing a laser aiming module so I can point-fire it accurately, and maybe a melee-oriented muzzle brake or a lighter chassis to reduce weight… Not sure though.”
She leaned forward and rested her elbows on her knees, her cheeks in her palms. “Melee-oriented? Oooooh, like a chain-sword or something?”
His short chuckle coerced a smirk to her face. “No, not like that. More something to use as a bludgeoning tool. Right before the blood-moon, I ended up getting just as much use out of this shotgun as a hammer than as a… well, a shotgun.”
“That’s pretty fuckin’ metal. So are you just gonna make the barrel into a giant bayonet?”
He nodded. “Not exactly a bayonet, but something more like a door-breaching break.”
A short silence settled on their conversation, the faint sounds of the fabricator’s hum and distant woodwork coming to light. Right, there was an outside world… She’d been too caught up talking to Harrison for however many hours it had been. She wondered how successful the fisherwomen were in collecting, and how things had been for the others working on the wood storage shack. Maybe it was already completed? The sun peered through the cargo bay door, proving that it was only about midday. What else would they work on today?
“Hey,” she ventured.
“Hm?” the engineer hummed, his eyes focused on the monitor beside the technician.
She scooted closer to his keyboard. “What’re we doing after this?”
“What do you mean?”
She leaned backward, propping herself up on two hands. “Project wise; what’s the next big thing?”
“Uhmmm…” he muttered, interacting with the computer for a few more seconds before finally meeting her gaze. “Well, I’ve just allocated the fabricator to print out the M2, three FALs—wood furniture, of course—then there’s the magazines and ammunition, so we’ve got a lot of time to kill. The next big thing is definitely going to be metal procurement, and— Oh, right!” Harrison stopped mid-sentence, reaching into his backpack and pulling out several finger-sized metallic cubes, a sudden fire in his eyes. “Okay, so a while ago, during an encounter with three colossi, Shar and Akula found a cave with some ‘surface’ metal deposits. I took a piece off to analyze, but never got the chance to until last night. Anyway, we don’t have any machines to examine the ore, so I made use of the recycler and broke it down to its baser components.”
She nodded along, seeing where he was going with his explanation. “I’m guessing those shiny cubes are the metals from the ore?”
“Sure is. So, as it turns out, we have a pretty damn close supply of not only iron, but also, zinc, sulfur, and a small amount of cadmium. I talked with Sebas about it and did a little research. We believe it’s something akin to sphalerite, given its composition and looks, which implies it’s a sedimentary exhalative deposit. That means there must have been some volcanic…”
Harrison continued talking about underwater deposits and ancient rock formations, bringing up some theories brought forward by the now 4-AI-core-powered Sebas, delving into the current land mass’ history and possible ore output. A lot of it went over the tradewoman’s head, but she still listened intently… Honestly, she could have listened to the man talk about finding metals for hours. It was sort of like the podcasts she used to listen to while completing colonist training, but even more personal and somehow easier to get lost in…
“…find some other minerals further down like silver, but it also might be an active lava zone. Again, these are all theories and this world could just throw the fundamentals of geology away as it does for physics. Anyway, sorry for going on for so long about that, just thought it’d be important for getting some metals in the future.”
“No, no,” Tracy assured, alleviating him of concern with a wave of her hand. “If there’s anything the colony overseers emphasized, it was farming and mineral acquisition. Don’t worry.” She smiled, pointing a thumb to herself. “I just wanna know how I can help.”
“Actually, I’ve a few things only you can do. I’d like to make use of your impressive drone-making expertise for a few applications, if you don’t mind.”
The task of keeping eye contact slipped into an impossible feat in the span of a singular second, planting a pang of embarrassment on her reddened face, forcing her to inspect her fidgeting hands. “I-I wouldn’t say ‘impressive’… b-but what do you have in mind?”
She could see him raise a brow out of the corner of her vision. “Well, after what you’ve shown me with the reconnaissance flyers, I’d like your help in setting up a more permanent ‘net’ of them to scour the meadow and parts of the nearby forest to look out for any approaching hordes. I don’t want to be snuck up on… again…”
‘Again.’
She noted his small frown and sunken eyes, both a little more exaggerated than they already were. It wasn’t like she’d deny his request, but the pangs of empathy over their shared situation all but solidified her resolve. It was the least she could do. She could help him. She would help him.
The technician exhaled slowly, taking on a more serious and understanding tone than before. “I… can do that. For sure. What else?”
“I appreciate it.” He gave a wane smile. “I’ll help you with whatever you need for the project. For the other drones, I’m thinking about a small exploration vehicle to map out caves around us and mark any minerals, as well as a submersible to look for potassium deposits in the ocean.”
“So… search bots?” She crossed her arms, confidence growing; those were her specialty. “Depending on how long the fabricators take and what kind of base drones are in the blueprint folders, I should be able to get those done in no time. All I need to know are the search cues for potassium and how many drones you want.”
He quickly shuffled a few folders on the computer, turning the monitor for her to see some scientific documents with various images and walls upon walls of text. “There’re plenty of resources for that on here for what to look for, and there’s always Sebas, so feel free to ask him since he can just sort through the data for you anyway. If you can, I’d like it if you could focus on the submersible after the reconnaissance drones.”
“Sounds good to me. I’ll be right on it, then.” She gave him a thumbs up, slipping off his desk and toward her own.
“I’ll bring you lunch in a bit. Imma go check on the others,” he called.
Her stomach grumbled at the mention, her head turning to give him an appreciative smile. “Oh! Thanks!”
\= = = = =
Avian creatures chirped from their perches in the trees nearby. The wind softly rustled red leaves as grass gently gave way to calculated footfalls. A warm sun laid its light on Shar’khee’s neck. It was surprisingly pleasant, were one to take the time to notice. The mainland was a confusing place for the paladin, with its disparate representations of nature contrasting so heavily. Some days were filled with blood and ravenous beasts, while others were left within the domain of simplicity and beauty. She was content to have the latter, yet it felt like a facade veiling the former—a soft exterior covering the maliciously spiked interior. Never could she leave herself to carelessness, no matter how welcoming it might be.
Hence why she worked to ensure the safety of the star-sent’s castles and their inhabitants, her days largely spent patrolling for any roaming swarms that may wish to cause them harm. She typically used the routine to think, but today offered little in the way of solitude. This time, she was accompanied by the previously banished guardswoman, and was tasked with instructing the new one, though the specifics of what such lessons should entail were vague. Still, Shar’khee did all that she could so as not to disappoint Harrison, so she could only attempt to meet his expectations of her.
She told the yellow-skinned female of the threats that the settlement faced, how one was to defeat them, and what to expect from the beasts. The guardswoman was directed to practice her form with the spear in both thrusts and throwing for some time afterward, proving herself to be well-built. Such was expected of her profession after all.
It was pleasing to have another capable of patrolling the settlement’s outskirts for swarms, as it would greatly impact how effectively the colony could react to such a threat. If her routine was to suffer for the colony’s well-being, she was happy to show the new one her patrol route and note what to look out for.
The guardswoman was not a perfect student, however. Shar’khee never addressed it directly, but the yellow-skinned female obviously discredited the danger posed by the abhorrent, not-so-subtly shrugging off any warnings.
…That was until they stumbled upon the ‘hyena-boars,’ as Harrison called them.
The beasts resided in a clearing not too far from the castles, carelessly meandering across the sea of tall grass. Shar’khee quickly crouched, dragging the guardswoman down with her. Once she assessed that the creatures were not an imminent danger, she decided it would be an excellent opportunity to show the new one how to properly engage a threat. She was about to propose the idea, yet her speech was silenced just as swiftly.
Orange flashes darted through the trees around the glade. Taloned feet and gnashing teeth tore across the ground toward the unsuspecting beasts at the center. It was much too late for them. They were slow. Surrounded. Unaware. It was as quick as it was vicious, the forest’s reds turning a deeper crimson hue in a moment's notice underneath the abhorrent’s brutality.
Gangly monstrosities gnawed and ripped at the dead creatures, brief glimpses of raw flesh and white bone protruding from the small spaces between the clumped-up beasts. Repulsive wet splatters of blood and gore overlapped the calm noises of the forest, the grisly scene serenaded by the softest of nature’s symphonies. It was a sickening juxtaposition.
Shar’khee bit back the unease and steeled herself. They were within twenty paces—close enough to smell the abhorrent’s vile stench of rot and bile, yet far enough so as not to be noticed. She briefly considered backing away and retreating, her focus bouncing between the different avenues of escape, or how to cover her footst—
Crack.
Several sets of feral, eyeless maws snapped in their direction, the blood dripping off freshly dampened teeth. The guardswoman gasped, Shar’khee’s gaze following to see the mistake: a singular broken branch crinkled as a yellow-colored foot raised off the splintering twig.
The paladin exhaled sharply and smoothly stood up, brandishing two spears and her shield. Her glare settled on the still crouching guardswoman. “You are to stay behind my shield and let them appr—ch. Rem—ber what I have told you. Aim for their maws when you thrust y—r lance.”
The other female nodded, shakily pulling out her own weapons with unsteady placement hampering her grip. There was an obvious nervousness to her gaze. Hesitance. That would not do.
Shar’khee faced the prowling abhorrent her knuckles shifting hue as she prepared for their advance, for there was no chance that they wouldn’t. True to her experience, the stalking turned to a gallop with several clicks of grotesque tongues, the swarm bolting toward her as one. She snarled and slammed her bulwark into the ground, letting the approaching beasts skewer themselves amongst its spikes.
There were only ten—a paltry amount. She had defended against magnitudes more, and yet she still stood. What is more, they were mindless. Uncoordinated. They would be but stains in the cloth she used to clean her armor. Perhaps, if they were fortunate, they might leave a furrow in her shield to remember them by. Her arms tensed as the first leapt.
One by one, the abhorrent fell, their repulsive green blood splattering under her thrusts. Each awaiting corpse tore across the grove’s grass, lunging to their deaths with gaping maws and unfeeling hunger, yet she did not yield. Their shells were crushed by her shield and impaled by her Goddess-blessed spears, becoming but one more smear across their surface. Ten motionless lumps lay before her, seeping their ichor into the soil, none having passed the barrier she became. Dead, just as the Creator intended. She remained vigilant for a few moments longer, watching for any more of the disgusting creatures.
None showed themselves, finally allowing blood to flow to her fingers once again. The shield’s heavy presence weighed down her back, the blood flicked off of her spears before she returned them to their place.
“Are y–u well?” Shar’khee addressed the frozen Malkrin, wiping away the splatter on her bracers. The guardswoman stared at the small pile of deceased creatures, her heavy breaths and widened eyes moving from the spear from her singular kill. The paladin huffed. “We are fort—ate that there were so few.”
“F-Few? God help us…” Her horrified, stunned gaze slowly met the paladin’s. “Y-You said there were hundreds on the crimson nights? H-How do you… They were s-so fast.”*
”As I h–ve warned,” Shar’khee affirmed.
“You are a paladin! You all exaggerate your feats… I thought it was just a facade!”
“I have no r—son to lie,” she returned tersely, shrugging off the insult to her station and shaking her head. “The mainl—d is far more dangerous than ten gnash—g beasts; more so than that of your island hamlet. Pick yourself up. We m—t inform the others of this incursion.”
The yellow-skinned female snarled, furrowing her brows at the ground in frustration. At whom…? Shar’khee? Herself? Regardless, the female promptly gathered her composure, pushing air through clenched jaws. A step forward had her feet splash in the small pool of blood, the Malkrin nodding toward the paladin to continue back to the castles.
“…for the village.”
Shar’khee paused in her stride and faced her, frowning at the determination and anger leaking through the intent. “W—t was that?”
Her question was returned with honesty, a huffed voice marred by vexation. “Paladin, how am I to defend my village-mates as I am now?”
“‘As you are now?’ What do you m—n?”
The guardswoman stared down at her spear, wood creaking under her grip. “I have faltered before what you deem a paltry threat, and the thought of an even greater one sows dread deep within my bones. I wish… I wish to be better prepared to defend those of my village. I cannot help but see their faces on those of the furred creature in the clearing, and yet, even if I am so close, I am just as unable to protect them.”
Shar’khee stared down the yellow female, a long gaze taking in a rare showing of sincerity. “Y—r fears are one we all share, new one. Do not be ashamed of them. All t—t matters is that you do not let them rem—n mere fear, but make them your strength. So tell me, do you wish to impr—e? To ensure they do not fall while you are support—g them?”
The yellow-skinned female released a shuddering breath that bled off the worst of her indecision, a newly invoked flame flaring within her visage. “I do, paladin. I seek to protect and to be of use.”
“Then, if you wish to make y—rself resilient in the face of all that opposes us, it would be my undertak—g to forge you anew. Fortunately, Harrison has ordered such already, and his guidance shall prove ever useful, should you pursue it.”
The guardswoman shuffled in place at the star-sent’s mention, her eyes slipping downwards. “He is of a great many resources, but I would rather receive your teachings than those of a craftsman… or that of a male, deity-sent he might be.”
She placed a palm on the female’s shoulder. “He is far more than you might ever k—w. Regardless of if you ac—pt his guidance, I commend your conviction. However—” Her hand gripped tighter, though not enough to instill hostility. “—understand that you are protecting more than just your vi—age-mates.”
The new one nodded, staring up at the paladin with stallwart resolve. “Of course. I shall be in your tutelage, then.”
Shar’khee smiled. “T—n let us begin.”
\= = = = =
Akula was becoming increasingly certain that she knew how her parents once felt. The green-skinned fisherwoman was currently rotating between the many tasks placed upon her, guiding the newcomers through the minutia of their tasks so they might live up to the potential Harrison saw within them. She was gratified to have her own talents recognized by the Creator, but it also placed a great many responsibilities in her talons. Of course, she handled each new addition with finesse befitting her heritage, never once balking from the increasing demands. If anything, she felt validated; it was required of her as a female anyway, was it not? The more feminine-appropriate labor and management one undertakes, the higher authority they were granted.
It began with a simple assignment to oversee the chef’s introduction to the star-sent’s provided cooking appliances. As fascinating and convenient as utilities were, she held no interest in preparing any more food than she already had, but teaching another to operate the machines would alleviate such requirements of her. She reluctantly accepted the task when it was proposed, especially considering the fact that Harrison was much too busy with his other projects to bother with something as benign as cooking. His work was more valuable elsewhere.
The task itself went well, and the pink-skinned chef was quick to pick up on the use of the various kitchen devices, as well as the smoker. A grin had grown when she considered the possibility of all males understanding such domestic things readily, yet her mirth at removing the masculine job required of her was short-lived. Despite the newly initiated Malkrin’s success, Harrison had Akula frequently return to oversee the numerous cooking operations being conducted. That was in tandem with the back-to-back fishing trips made by both herself and the newly acquired females.
…Which was something else the green-skinned cycle-worshipper was ordered to oversee.
She had left the chef to his devices after producing another batch of partially seasoned meals, returning to the Creator with hopes of a break. He applauded her efforts with a nod and tersely spoken appreciation, then quickly pushed two spearguns into her hand and directed her to the ocean, where the twins were ‘working with jack shit,’ as the busy male said. She was to give the fisherwomen the tools and make sure they were used properly, and offer additional assistance in acquiring ‘enough fish to have us fed for a little bit.’
So, she left to complete the given task, feeling somewhat appreciative that her speargun was of superior quality to those she would be delivering—the newcomers were only afforded the lesser, roped-bolt version. It was only natural that she was in possession of their greatest assets, of course; the star-sent saw her as the only one capable of wielding such fantastic ammunition, showing trust that was rightfully placed in her. That did not mean the gray-skinned females were unsatisfied with their own gifts, however. The twins were swiftly caught up on the ‘manual of arms’ and sent to work, somehow managing to keep up with Akula in spite of their land-based origins. The two were fast enough to outpace the cycle-worshipper in sheer speed, but their lack of numerous winters spent traversing deeper waters meant they required frequent rests, breaking the ocean’s surface after every third captured fish or so.
Still, she had to appreciate their dedication to their task. They never complained about Akula pushing them further to reach the star-sent’s vague objective. Such a task was entrusted to her—and by proxy, the other two—and thus it would be completed, no matter how much her comfortable bed… couch called her tiring muscles.
The group of three hauled net after full net of fresh meat to the chef—and sewist, who later joined him—forcing him to relegate much of the catch to long-term storage as the kitchen simply could not deal with the surplus. At least three-quarters of the fish were put to slow cook in the now Malkrin-sized smoker. The craftsman had upgraded it with a kit provided by Harrison, who had recycled much of the dining room and workshop furniture to accommodate it. The Creator’s showcased urgency to gather materials was clearly not unfounded… It was admirable how he used what little he had left to ensure food would not be scarce. Additionally, the apparatus exuded an excellent scent for all the survivors to enjoy, the earthy aroma drawing in some of the other Malkrin for their breaks or meals.
Those were not the end of the cycle-worshiper’s tasks, however. She was also required to report on Shar’khee’s progress in training the guardswoman—helping to recycle the small swarm of abhorrent they cleared earlier—as well as the wood storage building’s progress. Indeed, she was advising and assisting however and wherever applicable. To say she was seen all around the settlement would be an understatement.
Nevertheless, she was appreciative to see her efforts bearing fruit by sundown. The processing of their meals from sea to plate was quite efficient, and those that Akula taught were now well-practiced in their duties. The twin fisherwomen dove from wave to wave, bringing fish back to the barracks, where the cook and sewist swiftly worked to transfer the meat to pans and smoker hooks alike. Then, the remnants of the Sea Goddess’ aquatic gifts would be subsequently recycled and given purpose anew as biofuel or perhaps future fertilizer.
The endless onslaught of duties and responsibilities had enlightened her, in a way. She could see where Harrison came from now; having a working project go from one point to another without input nor difficulty was a sight to behold, and it made her swell with pride. It was a surmountable feat to teach the barbaric ground-worshippers to do something properly.
…Well, they were not horrible Malkrin, so perhaps simply calling them ‘uninitiated’ was a more apt descriptor…
No matter the tribulations faced, and no matter how draining her new authority might be, her rest at the end of the day would be one that was well-earned, and it would be had with a sense of satisfaction. She deserved it, and perhaps that extended to the rest of the settlement as well.
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Next time on Total Drama Anomaly Island - Mine! Mine! Mine!
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Edited by WaveOfWire
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Two days… It had been two days that Tracy had gone to sleep while Harrison was working, only to come back in the morning to see him still in the workshop. She knew he was damn productive, sure, but that really couldn’t be healthy. Apparently, it had something to do with the weird bowl of orange… soup… that Cera gave him. No way was it just caffeine; any amount of the stuff would have been filtered out of his system by now. He mentioned a tingling feeling too…
Damn, she did not know enough about drugs to even start assuming what that massive alien had Harrison fucked up on. At least the scanner said he was ‘fine’—if you ignore the other glaring issues the machine brought up. Plus, he said he didn’t mind it. Either way, he managed to complete the weaving component and a few other electrical backbones of the fabricator last night, so the project was practically done, and after seeing the engineer work himself half to death, she was dead-set on finishing it.
She was currently tits-deep into the upper manufacturing portion of the towering machine. It took a tall step-stool—on top of the nearby desk—for her to push her small shoulders through the even smaller access panels high on the everything-printer. It was difficult to fit her torso in, but she managed, holding a flashlight between her teeth as she fiddled with a stubborn series of mechanical ‘hands.’ Nothing new. The situation reminded her of the ‘shop back on Mars; it had the same ever-present scent of copper and industrial sealant. All that was missing was her dad’s ancient tunes blasting through some shitty speakers… Hold on…
The modular component in her grip was successfully attached with a resonating thock. Tracy squirmed out of the dim wire-filled crevice, trying her best to not rip her only tank-top on any bolts or corners, and getting a face-full of the bright flood-lights illuminating the workshop. She scowled and blocked out the searing light with a hand, but she was a bit too late to avoid going half-blind.
“Are the mechanical manipulators in?” Harrison grunted, poking his head out underneath the printer’s floor-adjacent maintenance hatch. She looked down at him as she tried to blink off the spots in her vision. His hair was messy, barely kept in line by his habit of combing through it with his fingers. The areas around his eyes were dark and sunken… Guess that’s what two all-nighters did to a man. He’d be seeing the hat man or start hallucinating if he didn’t get any sleep soon… but then again, the two of them were so close to finishing the fabricator…
“You bet.” She gave him a thumbs up, slamming the panel cover closed. “Feel free to test it.”
He nodded and slid back underneath the machine. “Gotcha”
She gently stepped off the stool and slid off the side of the desk, stretching herself out. If her piss-poor sitting posture or her tank-top puppies hadn’t already fucked her spine up, bending over backward to build this fabricator sure as hell would. She sat down next to the panel where Harrison resided, resting her back against the fabrication tower. Her excited voice broke the muffled noises of the engineer’s work. “So… Harrison?”
“Hmm—”
“—Mind if I play some music?”
The sounds from the hatch stopped, followed by his muffled, shocked tone echoing from beneath the fabricator. “You have music!?”
She smirked at seeing the expression on his face when his head popped out again. “I sure do… Did you seriously not download any to your data pad?”
He slipped out from beneath the fabricator fully, huffing as he took a knee beside her. The scent of melded rubber, wire, and his liquid labor reached her nose not-so-unpleasantly. “You would not believe how much of a pain it is to repair an entire barracks without it… So, yeah, I didn’t.”
“Sooooooooo, whatcha wanna listen to? I’ve got almost everything on here—besides the super niche, of course.” She pulled her data pad out, swiping to the massive music folder
“You wouldn’t like the kinda music I listen to; It’s ancient.”
She gave him a lighthearted, annoyed glare. “Welcome to the club… Now what’ll it be?”
“It’s Old Earth kind of ancient… but alright” He looked up at the ceiling in thought, lips pursed. “Do you have anything from Styx or Sweet?”
She stared at him incredulously, her smirk turning into a fully-fledged smile. “Oh my God. You are an absolute dork! You actually listen to Golden Age music?”
His brows raised, accusatory. “And you somehow know exactly who those bands were and what age of Old Earth music they came from?”
She smugly leaned in closer. “That’s because I’m just as much of a nerd with that kinda music as you apparently are.” She quickly looked upward, addressing the workshop AI. “Sebas, connect nearby speakers to my data pad’s audio.” Tracy elbowed the engineer lightly as the PA system chirped its affirmation. “Now, Mr. Golden Age music, which albums do ya want me to queue up?”
- - - - -
The two of them listened to music for hours, tossing on songs they liked as they came to mind while they worked. Harrison had a ton of recommendations that spanned all over the Golden Ages and some twenty-first century classics. She didn’t even know half of them, but she was vibing either way, adding on her own taste by intermingling some older rock tracks and newer electronic beats. The playlist was steadily built up as the day went on. Thank God her dad showed her a vast array of tunes; she might not have been able to keep up with the engineer if her old man hadn't.
It made the work go by so fast, their conversations blurring as they jumped from topic to topic. They discussed whatever came to mind—old hobbies, old jobs, and old interests. A lot was left behind in Sol… At least she knew that the only other human on the planet was more interesting than a soulless workaholic. It turned out that he was a pretty big history buff, and he apparently read a lot about the colonization of the Sol system and the various wars of independence thereafter. Curious, she asked where the interest stemmed from, and he explained that his grandfather was an admiral in the Slavic-Europan deep-ice submarine fleet, which explained how Harrison’s mother was able to afford to immigrate to Mars from Europa.
He could also play an acoustic guitar, and, unfortunately for Tracy, he wasn’t even the slightest bit interested in printing one out, citing that it was a waste of time and material that would be better used elsewhere. That didn’t stop her from writing a note on her data pad to do so later, though. She hadn’t seen someone play one of those in years—the last time was probably in some old music video from the early twenty-second century. What a shame. She would have liked to hear some of the Europan songs his grandmother taught him.
On the bright side, the man seemed to take an interest in her odd hobbies. He brought up the folder of 3D models that she accidentally uploaded to the inter-module system and asked where she got the inspiration for what was in it. Boy, was he not ready for her ‘WarHalberd40k’ lore dump. Props to the guy for not standing up and leaving the workshop throughout her rambling. He even asked questions about the different factions and their weapons, which she was more than happy to talk about.
She also ended up going over the other franchises and hobbies she was interested in, such as robotics and the like. The only interruptions to their chat were the occasional Akula or Craftsman asking for insight regarding the various tasks he had allotted to them, or Shar coming in to check up on Harrison between guard shifts.
The new dynamic of the group was pretty interesting, to say the least. Tracy hadn’t been out to interact with the whole lot of Malkrin, but she definitely noticed how they treated the engineer. They’d started to look up to him in a way ever since he started showing off technology. In a little over two days, the man had shown them that he could provide the materials for a brick house, fine clothing—especially by the alien’s standards—armor, and delicious food. That wasn’t even mentioning the other benefits the technician heard a few of the ‘banished’ talking about over their meals: heating, electric lights, and other assorted machines.
She’d be feeling pretty happy about herself if she was in his position, having so many look up to him and be grateful at the same time. He seemed to view it a lot more robotically, however, only striving to get the basics done. Luckily for him, his basics were their luxury.
That wasn’t all there was to the topic; the engineer lamented about how the colony was going through food just as quickly as materials. The meals weren’t the direct issue he had, more that he had to start focusing on long-term resource harvesting rather than directly preparing for a literal horde of monsters—which wasn’t exactly ideal. It was a good thing that they just so happened to take on an influx of Malkrin then…
Either way, they finally finished the ‘totally legal modification’ for the fabricator, meaning they could at least partially address the latter half of his worries. The whole process of ripping out an old printer and replacing the parts for a new one felt a lot easier than she imagined… even if it took her at least forty-eight hours to complete it… with help from Harrison. Maybe that was why it felt so easy… She supposed the colony overseers didn’t choose the man for no reason, so his skills made sense.
“So… what do we want to print out first?” Tracy questioned, having finished testing the last major component.
The engineer stretched his arms up into the air and rotated his shoulders, then pulled back the desk’s chair and took a seat. “I’ve had just one thing in mind since the start of this whole project.”
Her brows raised in a mix of excitement and curiosity. She leaned forward, looking at the computer monitor from over his shoulder. “Oh? What’s that, then?”
A smirk formed along his cheek, the computer mouse rapidly clicking through the blueprint folder. “I’ve had a lot of time to think about what kind of firearm we need since I started dabbling in belt-fed weapon systems.” He opened one final file, a short loading bar preceding the exploded assembly view of… “An M2 Browning machine gun. It’s more than powerful enough to kill in one shot, while also being capable of fully-automatic fire, with a capacity of however many rounds we want in a belt-box.”
“Uh…huh…” She gave a skeptical nod and took a step back, not exactly sold on the idea. “It looks ancient. It’s kinetic, right? Why aren’t we using energy-based weapons? Don’t we have a gunpowder shortage coming up?”
He moved his chair off to the side to look back at her. “We just can’t; Simple as. We’ll need who knows how many more AI cores before we can get started on that level of equipment, Trace,” he huffed, returning his gaze to the specifications of the firearm. “This isn’t the most ‘modern’ weapon we can make, but its twenty-first century counterpart helps with an improved design… somewhat. And, as I said before, it should be more than capable of killing a bug in one shot, so Shar can just tap-fire it to save ammunition.”
Her head tilted quizzically. “Shar?”
“Yup,” he returned confidently. “It’s the perfect weapon for her.”
She raised a brow. “How so?”
He held his hand up, counting his reasons on his fingers. “She’s always on the front line with a shield, she can absolutely handle the weight and recoil, her four arms make reloading it simple, plus she’ll need something with range and power that isn’t a spear. So, why not? And, if for some reason, she doesn’t want to use it, we can just convert it into a turret—which is something I was planning on doing anyways with however more M2s we print out later.”
“I doubt she’ll say no to any gun you give her,” Tracy chuckled while shaking her head, inadvertently causing her bangs to cover her eyes.
“Fair enough,” he conceded with a bob of his head. “What do you think, then? What kinda weapons do you have in mind?”
She reapplied her goggles into an impromptu hairband, feeling a smirk cross her face. “Thought you’d never ask. What purpose do we need these guns to fulfill? Hordes I’m guessing?”
“That’s the idea, yeah. That doesn’t mean they all need to be machine guns, though.” He tapped the belt-fed shotgun beside him.
“Well, lemme see what we’re working with first.” She suddenly stepped forward, leaning over Harrison’s seat to access the keyboard and mouse. Her arms briefly rubbed against him, forcing him to roll his chair backward. She suppressed a giggle at seeing his incredulous frown.
Her eyes quickly traced the hundreds of individual files, clicking through all sorts of folders, each arranged from pre-twenty-first century ‘antiques,’ to more modern iterations of kinetics and particle weaponry. There was… a lot on there—almost too much to reasonably comb through. Why? Did the colony overseers just say ‘fuck it’ and put whatever they could find on here? Were they expecting the pioneers to make a museum of everything?
She sighed, standing up straight and facing Harrison. “Y’know, I’m actually impressed you managed to find that M2-whatever in there…”
He shifted in his seat, resting an elbow on the desk. “Yup, there’s a lot. I’m almost tempted to just make several of those machine guns and just call it a day, but I feel like that’d be too much of a strain on resources, no?”
“I don’t really know enough about how you fight those spider-crab things, or how to get more gunpowder, so… maybe?” She shrugged, biting her cheek in contemplation. “You might just wanna make a few smaller caliber weapons… like, uh… those old kinetic service rifles. If your pump-action shotgun works fine, I’m sure some normal guns would work just fine for now, right?”
He hardily gripped his firearm, hauling it up to his lap. “Depends on what you mean by ‘smaller caliber.’ The whole reason why the KS-23 here works—” he pulled out a massive shell from the ammo belt, displaying it on his palm. “—is because the twenty-three-millimeter round has enough energy transfer to mess up any bug's shell and insides. I’d say the smallest rounds we could use would be point-two-forty-three caliber to get any similar results.”
Brief flickers of grungy orange shells and gnashing teeth marred Tracy’s sight. She forcibly suppressed them, distracting herself with dry humor and a strained laugh. “Guess those fuckers can really take a punch, huh?”
He shook his head somberly. “I couldn’t imagine going up against them without a gun… Anyway, I like your idea of a standard rifle for now. Then, when we have some product lines up, we can go a little more in depth into personal weapons.”
“So are you gonna take one?” She hopped up on the desk, letting her legs swing off the side.
“Don’t think so, no. I’ll stick with my shotty.” The internals of the heavily modified weapon rattled as he held it up and inspected it. “Doesn’t mean I’ll keep it as is. I’m thinking of printing a laser aiming module so I can point-fire it accurately, and maybe a melee-oriented muzzle brake or a lighter chassis to reduce weight… Not sure though.”
She leaned forward and rested her elbows on her knees, her cheeks in her palms. “Melee-oriented? Oooooh, like a chain-sword or something?”
His short chuckle coerced a smirk to her face. “No, not like that. More something to use as a bludgeoning tool. Right before the blood-moon, I ended up getting just as much use out of this shotgun as a hammer than as a… well, a shotgun.”
“That’s pretty fuckin’ metal. So are you just gonna make the barrel into a giant bayonet?”
He nodded. “Not exactly a bayonet, but something more like a door-breaching break.”
A short silence settled on their conversation, the faint sounds of the fabricator’s hum and distant woodwork coming to light. Right, there was an outside world… She’d been too caught up talking to Harrison for however many hours it had been. She wondered how successful the fisherwomen were in collecting, and how things had been for the others working on the wood storage shack. Maybe it was already completed? The sun peered through the cargo bay door, proving that it was only about midday. What else would they work on today?
“Hey,” she ventured.
“Hm?” the engineer hummed, his eyes focused on the monitor beside the technician.
She scooted closer to his keyboard. “What’re we doing after this?”
“What do you mean?”
She leaned backward, propping herself up on two hands. “Project wise; what’s the next big thing?”
“Uhmmm…” he muttered, interacting with the computer for a few more seconds before finally meeting her gaze. “Well, I’ve just allocated the fabricator to print out the M2, three FALs—wood furniture, of course—then there’s the magazines and ammunition, so we’ve got a lot of time to kill. The next big thing is definitely going to be metal procurement, and— Oh, right!” Harrison stopped mid-sentence, reaching into his backpack and pulling out several finger-sized metallic cubes, a sudden fire in his eyes. “Okay, so a while ago, during an encounter with three colossi, Shar and Akula found a cave with some ‘surface’ metal deposits. I took a piece off to analyze, but never got the chance to until last night. Anyway, we don’t have any machines to examine the ore, so I made use of the recycler and broke it down to its baser components.”
She nodded along, seeing where he was going with his explanation. “I’m guessing those shiny cubes are the metals from the ore?”
“Sure is. So, as it turns out, we have a pretty damn close supply of not only iron, but also, zinc, sulfur, and a small amount of cadmium. I talked with Sebas about it and did a little research. We believe it’s something akin to sphalerite, given its composition and looks, which implies it’s a sedimentary exhalative deposit. That means there must have been some volcanic…”
Harrison continued talking about underwater deposits and ancient rock formations, bringing up some theories brought forward by the now 4-AI-core-powered Sebas, delving into the current land mass’ history and possible ore output. A lot of it went over the tradewoman’s head, but she still listened intently… Honestly, she could have listened to the man talk about finding metals for hours. It was sort of like the podcasts she used to listen to while completing colonist training, but even more personal and somehow easier to get lost in…
“…find some other minerals further down like silver, but it also might be an active lava zone. Again, these are all theories and this world could just throw the fundamentals of geology away as it does for physics. Anyway, sorry for going on for so long about that, just thought it’d be important for getting some metals in the future.”
“No, no,” Tracy assured, alleviating him of concern with a wave of her hand. “If there’s anything the colony overseers emphasized, it was farming and mineral acquisition. Don’t worry.” She smiled, pointing a thumb to herself. “I just wanna know how I can help.”
“Actually, I’ve a few things only you can do. I’d like to make use of your impressive drone-making expertise for a few applications, if you don’t mind.”
The task of keeping eye contact slipped into an impossible feat in the span of a singular second, planting a pang of embarrassment on her reddened face, forcing her to inspect her fidgeting hands. “I-I wouldn’t say ‘impressive’… b-but what do you have in mind?”
She could see him raise a brow out of the corner of her vision. “Well, after what you’ve shown me with the reconnaissance flyers, I’d like your help in setting up a more permanent ‘net’ of them to scour the meadow and parts of the nearby forest to look out for any approaching hordes. I don’t want to be snuck up on… again…”
‘Again.’
She noted his small frown and sunken eyes, both a little more exaggerated than they already were. It wasn’t like she’d deny his request, but the pangs of empathy over their shared situation all but solidified her resolve. It was the least she could do. She could help him. She would help him.
The technician exhaled slowly, taking on a more serious and understanding tone than before. “I… can do that. For sure. What else?”
“I appreciate it.” He gave a wane smile. “I’ll help you with whatever you need for the project. For the other drones, I’m thinking about a small exploration vehicle to map out caves around us and mark any minerals, as well as a submersible to look for potassium deposits in the ocean.”
“So… search bots?” She crossed her arms, confidence growing; those were her specialty. “Depending on how long the fabricators take and what kind of base drones are in the blueprint folders, I should be able to get those done in no time. All I need to know are the search cues for potassium and how many drones you want.”
He quickly shuffled a few folders on the computer, turning the monitor for her to see some scientific documents with various images and walls upon walls of text. “There’re plenty of resources for that on here for what to look for, and there’s always Sebas, so feel free to ask him since he can just sort through the data for you anyway. If you can, I’d like it if you could focus on the submersible after the reconnaissance drones.”
“Sounds good to me. I’ll be right on it, then.” She gave him a thumbs up, slipping off his desk and toward her own.
“I’ll bring you lunch in a bit. Imma go check on the others,” he called.
Her stomach grumbled at the mention, her head turning to give him an appreciative smile. “Oh! Thanks!”
\= = = = =
Avian creatures chirped from their perches in the trees nearby. The wind softly rustled red leaves as grass gently gave way to calculated footfalls. A warm sun laid its light on Shar’khee’s neck. It was surprisingly pleasant, were one to take the time to notice. The mainland was a confusing place for the paladin, with its disparate representations of nature contrasting so heavily. Some days were filled with blood and ravenous beasts, while others were left within the domain of simplicity and beauty. She was content to have the latter, yet it felt like a facade veiling the former—a soft exterior covering the maliciously spiked interior. Never could she leave herself to carelessness, no matter how welcoming it might be.
Hence why she worked to ensure the safety of the star-sent’s castles and their inhabitants, her days largely spent patrolling for any roaming swarms that may wish to cause them harm. She typically used the routine to think, but today offered little in the way of solitude. This time, she was accompanied by the previously banished guardswoman, and was tasked with instructing the new one, though the specifics of what such lessons should entail were vague. Still, Shar’khee did all that she could so as not to disappoint Harrison, so she could only attempt to meet his expectations of her.
She told the yellow-skinned female of the threats that the settlement faced, how one was to defeat them, and what to expect from the beasts. The guardswoman was directed to practice her form with the spear in both thrusts and throwing for some time afterward, proving herself to be well-built. Such was expected of her profession after all.
It was pleasing to have another capable of patrolling the settlement’s outskirts for swarms, as it would greatly impact how effectively the colony could react to such a threat. If her routine was to suffer for the colony’s well-being, she was happy to show the new one her patrol route and note what to look out for.
The guardswoman was not a perfect student, however. Shar’khee never addressed it directly, but the yellow-skinned female obviously discredited the danger posed by the abhorrent, not-so-subtly shrugging off any warnings.
…That was until they stumbled upon the ‘hyena-boars,’ as Harrison called them.
The beasts resided in a clearing not too far from the castles, carelessly meandering across the sea of tall grass. Shar’khee quickly crouched, dragging the guardswoman down with her. Once she assessed that the creatures were not an imminent danger, she decided it would be an excellent opportunity to show the new one how to properly engage a threat. She was about to propose the idea, yet her speech was silenced just as swiftly.
Orange flashes darted through the trees around the glade. Taloned feet and gnashing teeth tore across the ground toward the unsuspecting beasts at the center. It was much too late for them. They were slow. Surrounded. Unaware. It was as quick as it was vicious, the forest’s reds turning a deeper crimson hue in a moment's notice underneath the abhorrent’s brutality.
Gangly monstrosities gnawed and ripped at the dead creatures, brief glimpses of raw flesh and white bone protruding from the small spaces between the clumped-up beasts. Repulsive wet splatters of blood and gore overlapped the calm noises of the forest, the grisly scene serenaded by the softest of nature’s symphonies. It was a sickening juxtaposition.
Shar’khee bit back the unease and steeled herself. They were within twenty paces—close enough to smell the abhorrent’s vile stench of rot and bile, yet far enough so as not to be noticed. She briefly considered backing away and retreating, her focus bouncing between the different avenues of escape, or how to cover her footst—
Crack.
Several sets of feral, eyeless maws snapped in their direction, the blood dripping off freshly dampened teeth. The guardswoman gasped, Shar’khee’s gaze following to see the mistake: a singular broken branch crinkled as a yellow-colored foot raised off the splintering twig.
The paladin exhaled sharply and smoothly stood up, brandishing two spears and her shield. Her glare settled on the still crouching guardswoman. “You are to stay behind my shield and let them appr—ch. Rem—ber what I have told you. Aim for their maws when you thrust y—r lance.”
The other female nodded, shakily pulling out her own weapons with unsteady placement hampering her grip. There was an obvious nervousness to her gaze. Hesitance. That would not do.
Shar’khee faced the prowling abhorrent her knuckles shifting hue as she prepared for their advance, for there was no chance that they wouldn’t. True to her experience, the stalking turned to a gallop with several clicks of grotesque tongues, the swarm bolting toward her as one. She snarled and slammed her bulwark into the ground, letting the approaching beasts skewer themselves amongst its spikes.
There were only ten—a paltry amount. She had defended against magnitudes more, and yet she still stood. What is more, they were mindless. Uncoordinated. They would be but stains in the cloth she used to clean her armor. Perhaps, if they were fortunate, they might leave a furrow in her shield to remember them by. Her arms tensed as the first leapt.
One by one, the abhorrent fell, their repulsive green blood splattering under her thrusts. Each awaiting corpse tore across the grove’s grass, lunging to their deaths with gaping maws and unfeeling hunger, yet she did not yield. Their shells were crushed by her shield and impaled by her Goddess-blessed spears, becoming but one more smear across their surface. Ten motionless lumps lay before her, seeping their ichor into the soil, none having passed the barrier she became. Dead, just as the Creator intended. She remained vigilant for a few moments longer, watching for any more of the disgusting creatures.
None showed themselves, finally allowing blood to flow to her fingers once again. The shield’s heavy presence weighed down her back, the blood flicked off of her spears before she returned them to their place.
“Are y–u well?” Shar’khee addressed the frozen Malkrin, wiping away the splatter on her bracers. The guardswoman stared at the small pile of deceased creatures, her heavy breaths and widened eyes moving from the spear from her singular kill. The paladin huffed. “We are fort—ate that there were so few.”
“F-Few? God help us…” Her horrified, stunned gaze slowly met the paladin’s. “Y-You said there were hundreds on the crimson nights? H-How do you… They were s-so fast.”*
”As I h–ve warned,” Shar’khee affirmed.
“You are a paladin! You all exaggerate your feats… I thought it was just a facade!”
“I have no r—son to lie,” she returned tersely, shrugging off the insult to her station and shaking her head. “The mainl—d is far more dangerous than ten gnash—g beasts; more so than that of your island hamlet. Pick yourself up. We m—t inform the others of this incursion.”
The yellow-skinned female snarled, furrowing her brows at the ground in frustration. At whom…? Shar’khee? Herself? Regardless, the female promptly gathered her composure, pushing air through clenched jaws. A step forward had her feet splash in the small pool of blood, the Malkrin nodding toward the paladin to continue back to the castles.
“…for the village.”
Shar’khee paused in her stride and faced her, frowning at the determination and anger leaking through the intent. “W—t was that?”
Her question was returned with honesty, a huffed voice marred by vexation. “Paladin, how am I to defend my village-mates as I am now?”
“‘As you are now?’ What do you m—n?”
The guardswoman stared down at her spear, wood creaking under her grip. “I have faltered before what you deem a paltry threat, and the thought of an even greater one sows dread deep within my bones. I wish… I wish to be better prepared to defend those of my village. I cannot help but see their faces on those of the furred creature in the clearing, and yet, even if I am so close, I am just as unable to protect them.”
Shar’khee stared down the yellow female, a long gaze taking in a rare showing of sincerity. “Y—r fears are one we all share, new one. Do not be ashamed of them. All t—t matters is that you do not let them rem—n mere fear, but make them your strength. So tell me, do you wish to impr—e? To ensure they do not fall while you are support—g them?”
The yellow-skinned female released a shuddering breath that bled off the worst of her indecision, a newly invoked flame flaring within her visage. “I do, paladin. I seek to protect and to be of use.”
“Then, if you wish to make y—rself resilient in the face of all that opposes us, it would be my undertak—g to forge you anew. Fortunately, Harrison has ordered such already, and his guidance shall prove ever useful, should you pursue it.”
The guardswoman shuffled in place at the star-sent’s mention, her eyes slipping downwards. “He is of a great many resources, but I would rather receive your teachings than those of a craftsman… or that of a male, deity-sent he might be.”
She placed a palm on the female’s shoulder. “He is far more than you might ever k—w. Regardless of if you ac—pt his guidance, I commend your conviction. However—” Her hand gripped tighter, though not enough to instill hostility. “—understand that you are protecting more than just your vi—age-mates.”
The new one nodded, staring up at the paladin with stallwart resolve. “Of course. I shall be in your tutelage, then.”
Shar’khee smiled. “T—n let us begin.”
\= = = = =
Akula was becoming increasingly certain that she knew how her parents once felt. The green-skinned fisherwoman was currently rotating between the many tasks placed upon her, guiding the newcomers through the minutia of their tasks so they might live up to the potential Harrison saw within them. She was gratified to have her own talents recognized by the Creator, but it also placed a great many responsibilities in her talons. Of course, she handled each new addition with finesse befitting her heritage, never once balking from the increasing demands. If anything, she felt validated; it was required of her as a female anyway, was it not? The more feminine-appropriate labor and management one undertakes, the higher authority they were granted.
It began with a simple assignment to oversee the chef’s introduction to the star-sent’s provided cooking appliances. As fascinating and convenient as utilities were, she held no interest in preparing any more food than she already had, but teaching another to operate the machines would alleviate such requirements of her. She reluctantly accepted the task when it was proposed, especially considering the fact that Harrison was much too busy with his other projects to bother with something as benign as cooking. His work was more valuable elsewhere.
The task itself went well, and the pink-skinned chef was quick to pick up on the use of the various kitchen devices, as well as the smoker. A grin had grown when she considered the possibility of all males understanding such domestic things readily, yet her mirth at removing the masculine job required of her was short-lived. Despite the newly initiated Malkrin’s success, Harrison had Akula frequently return to oversee the numerous cooking operations being conducted. That was in tandem with the back-to-back fishing trips made by both herself and the newly acquired females.
…Which was something else the green-skinned cycle-worshipper was ordered to oversee.
She had left the chef to his devices after producing another batch of partially seasoned meals, returning to the Creator with hopes of a break. He applauded her efforts with a nod and tersely spoken appreciation, then quickly pushed two spearguns into her hand and directed her to the ocean, where the twins were ‘working with jack shit,’ as the busy male said. She was to give the fisherwomen the tools and make sure they were used properly, and offer additional assistance in acquiring ‘enough fish to have us fed for a little bit.’
So, she left to complete the given task, feeling somewhat appreciative that her speargun was of superior quality to those she would be delivering—the newcomers were only afforded the lesser, roped-bolt version. It was only natural that she was in possession of their greatest assets, of course; the star-sent saw her as the only one capable of wielding such fantastic ammunition, showing trust that was rightfully placed in her. That did not mean the gray-skinned females were unsatisfied with their own gifts, however. The twins were swiftly caught up on the ‘manual of arms’ and sent to work, somehow managing to keep up with Akula in spite of their land-based origins. The two were fast enough to outpace the cycle-worshipper in sheer speed, but their lack of numerous winters spent traversing deeper waters meant they required frequent rests, breaking the ocean’s surface after every third captured fish or so.
Still, she had to appreciate their dedication to their task. They never complained about Akula pushing them further to reach the star-sent’s vague objective. Such a task was entrusted to her—and by proxy, the other two—and thus it would be completed, no matter how much her comfortable bed… couch called her tiring muscles.
The group of three hauled net after full net of fresh meat to the chef—and sewist, who later joined him—forcing him to relegate much of the catch to long-term storage as the kitchen simply could not deal with the surplus. At least three-quarters of the fish were put to slow cook in the now Malkrin-sized smoker. The craftsman had upgraded it with a kit provided by Harrison, who had recycled much of the dining room and workshop furniture to accommodate it. The Creator’s showcased urgency to gather materials was clearly not unfounded… It was admirable how he used what little he had left to ensure food would not be scarce. Additionally, the apparatus exuded an excellent scent for all the survivors to enjoy, the earthy aroma drawing in some of the other Malkrin for their breaks or meals.
Those were not the end of the cycle-worshiper’s tasks, however. She was also required to report on Shar’khee’s progress in training the guardswoman—helping to recycle the small swarm of abhorrent they cleared earlier—as well as the wood storage building’s progress. Indeed, she was advising and assisting however and wherever applicable. To say she was seen all around the settlement would be an understatement.
Nevertheless, she was appreciative to see her efforts bearing fruit by sundown. The processing of their meals from sea to plate was quite efficient, and those that Akula taught were now well-practiced in their duties. The twin fisherwomen dove from wave to wave, bringing fish back to the barracks, where the cook and sewist swiftly worked to transfer the meat to pans and smoker hooks alike. Then, the remnants of the Sea Goddess’ aquatic gifts would be subsequently recycled and given purpose anew as biofuel or perhaps future fertilizer.
The endless onslaught of duties and responsibilities had enlightened her, in a way. She could see where Harrison came from now; having a working project go from one point to another without input nor difficulty was a sight to behold, and it made her swell with pride. It was a surmountable feat to teach the barbaric ground-worshippers to do something properly.
…Well, they were not horrible Malkrin, so perhaps simply calling them ‘uninitiated’ was a more apt descriptor…
No matter the tribulations faced, and no matter how draining her new authority might be, her rest at the end of the day would be one that was well-earned, and it would be had with a sense of satisfaction. She deserved it, and perhaps that extended to the rest of the settlement as well.
- - - - -
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Next time on Total Drama Anomaly Island - Mine! Mine! Mine!
2024.05.19 15:48 lightingnations I found my girlfriend’s secret Google account and it feels like our entire relationship was built on a lie
I met Luna on a train two years ago. I’d just escaped from a toxic relationship, so romance was the last thing on my mind, but then she sat across from me in the carriage and asked about the book I was reading. She had a copy in her bag and wanted to know if it was any good.
I'd never felt such an instant, effortless connection with anybody before. I took a chance and asked her to dinner, and by the time the waiters cleared away our desserts, I already felt comfortable being vulnerable around her. So we went on a second date. And a third. And next thing I knew, we were planning our second anniversary.
In all that time she never gave off any 'creeper' vibes. Until a few months ago, when I stayed the night over at her place...
She'd gotten up early to use the bathroom. I grabbed her laptop off the side desk so I could catch up on some work e-mails, and the incognito tab was just sitting there. My first thought was: either she's having an affair or she's got a secret fetish.
What I found instead was a Google account with a photo album called ‘Michael’s EX’. In it, there were 427 photos of my former girlfriend turned psycho stalker, Sadie. This included shots of ‘Sadie the stalker’ with her family, screenshots of her passport—the works. On Facebook, Sadie's latest post said Moving to the Philippines, and since then she’d become a social media church mouse, so how did Luna keep her under surveillance? And how did you even get PERSONAL ID from a person halfway across the globe?
Down the hall, I heard the bathroom door swing open. Quickly I closed the laptop and pretended to be asleep until Luna planted a kiss on my lips. “Wakey wakey Bugs.”
I faked a stretch. “Morning Lola."
(At school, the other kids christened me ‘Bugs’ because of my cartoonishly large front teeth; I called Luna ‘Lola’ because of her blonde bangs and heart-shaped face.)
“How about we grab a fry for breakfast?” Her smile didn’t seem genuine, more like she was wearing a mask.
“Crap. I forgot I’m doing overtime today, I’ve gotta get to work.” With that, I shot out of there faster than a bullet train to Tokyo.
Because I didn’t wanna believe the worst about someone I cared so deeply about, I didn’t contact the police (not that anybody could’ve guessed what Luna was up to) and made excuses whenever she asked to meet, delaying the decision whether to end our relationship.
At night, I couldn’t sleep. Every time a hedge rustled outside, I’d run to the window and pull back the curtain only to discover a black cat skulking around the garden. I put this down to my previous relationship leaving me with a mountain of unresolved PTSD.
Sadie the stalker also seemed normal until we moved in together. After that she started picking fights if she caught me talking to another woman, even just distant relatives or childhood friends. The screaming matches went from weekly to nightly, only ever ending when I conceded to her every wish and gave her full access to my phone and social media accounts. I literally needed to grab my clothes into a bag and run away one night, and then I started hearing noises outside my new apartment. And although I never found any evidence, I was pretty sure she’d broken in at one point because the books on my side table were suddenly out of order one day. What hurt the most was Luna knew all this and still acted the way she did.
Right as I reached my lowest point, my close friend Gertrude called and said, “The universe is telling me you could use a sympathetic ear.”
I told her the universe didn’t know the half of it.
I’d met Gertrude—aka my surrogate mother—on a flight to London. Passing over Wales the aircraft hit heavy turbulence, and the grey-haired hippie in the seat next to mine squeezed my hand so tight that my fingers turned blue. After we levelled off, she apologized and said, “So what’s calling you to London?”
“A job.”
A few glasses of wine from the service trolley later, she blurted out, “You know your aura is strikingly similar to my husbands.”
“Uhh, thanks. Where is he now?”
“Oh, he burned to death in a house fire.”
Gertrude’s eyes started welling up. To take her mind off the subject, I said, “I lied earlier. I’m going to London because I fell in love with a Londoner.” I pulled up pictures of Sadie (back in her pre-stalker days) on my phone. “We met in Italy. She looked flustered trying to read a map book so I offered to help. Next thing I knew, we were planning a trip to this place called Orvieto.”
“Michael, I need to know how this story ends. Gimme your number.”
Since then, we’d met two or three times a year.
I laid the whole mess out over pizza. It was the first time since finding the Google account I didn’t feel hidden eyes crawling all over me.
Just as I wrapped up the story, over in the corner booth, a family burst into a chorus of happy birthday. A waiter appeared carrying a chocolate cake, capped by a giant candle that looked more like a flare. Gertrude tensed up.
“So what do you think about all this?” I asked.
She looked back at me and said, “It’s possible your reaction has been a touch on the dramatic side.”
“DRAMATIC??”
“Well consider things from Luna’s point of view. Your last relationship lasted for, what, three years? Maybe she felt threatened.”
“I don’t believe this.” I grabbed a cigarette from my pocket, but Gertrude snatched it away.
“You know how I feel about you poisoning your lungs, Michael.”
“Don’t you start. I got enough of that crap from Luna.”
Gertrude always encouraged me to work through my romantic problems. Ultimately, I decided her love of fairytale romances clouded her judgement and ghosted Luna instead. But I couldn’t escape her shadow. She always felt close. In fact, it got so bad that at a friend’s costume party several weeks later, my eyes kept compulsively scanning the crowd as if she was there in disguise, ready to pounce.
I stood off to the corner until, over the sea of heads, I spotted a beautiful stranger dressed as Jarlath the Goblin King. I took a shot of liquid courage and made a B-line towards her.
Halfway across the crowded room, beer splashed across the front of my Ziggy Stardust outfit.
“I am so sorry,” a female pirate said, patting me dry.
“Don’t worry about it.” Every time I tried circling her, she moved to cut me off.
“I am such a klutz. Why don’t you come into the kitchen so I can clean up this mess?”
I put my hands on her shoulders and steered her out of the way. “It’s fine. Trust me.”
Approaching Jarlath from behind, heart slamming against my chest, I said, “Well this is awkward. One of us is gonna have to change.”
Jennie had bright blue eyes and dimples impossible to miss. Ten minutes into our debate about David Bowie’s greatest album, I said, “You know Absolute Bowie are playing the Half Moon next week. I could take you?”
“Sorry. I’m going with my boyfriend,” she said with a sympathetic smile. From beside the buffet table, the pirate stared daggers in our direction.
“No worries,” I replied, despite the fact I was brimming with jealousy.
The next day, as I jogged off my hangover, a brown-haired lady cut across my path and we both went spinning to the ground.
“Flip, sorry.” I rushed to pull her up by the hands. “I’m like a bloody zombie lately.”
She did a doubletake. “Ziggy, right?”
There was no mistaking those eyes. “Jarlath?”
“Well, Jarlath or Jennie. Eithers fine.”
“Right. Well, sorry again. Enjoy Absolute Bowie.”
Before I could jog away, she said, “Hey, so that guy I was seeing? Turns out he’s a total prick.”
Jennie and I went for coffee. Coffee morphed into drinks. Drinks morphed into a steamy make-out session on my sofa.
But as she covered my neck in soft kisses, my stomach turned. It felt like cheating. So, I put the brakes on things and said, “I can’t do this. I’m really sorry. You’re amazing, but I just got out of a serious relationship…and…it’s just…”
“Hey, don’t worry about it.”
We agreed we’d let our connection blossom in its own time.
Jennie had a playful mystique to her. Within a handful of dates, we’d developed inside jokes and could tell what the other was thinking. But Luna’s imprint was hard to shake, to the extent I almost mixed up the two ladies’ names multiple times.
To detox, I suggested Jennie and I spend a romantic weekend in the Lake District, because after two days of hiking and kayaking my ex would no doubt be a spec in the rearview mirror.
Hours before we set off, however, Luna’s mom called. She wanted to meet and wouldn’t accept any excuses.
“Look, it’s obvious why I’m here,” she said, sitting across from me in Starbucks. “Ever since you and Luna broke up, she’s been acting…different.”
“Different? Different how?”
“I call but she hardly answers. I go over to her place but she’s never there. Now she’s telling me she needs to find herself. Says she’s moving to Australia.”
Her fingers tightened around her cup. “I need to know what happened between you two. And I don’t care if that paints anybody in a bad light. I’m just worried about my daughter is all.”
I told her about the Google account.
“Did you confront her about it?”
“Hell no. I ghosted that crazy bitc—” I cleared my throat. “I mean, I just…stopped seeing her.”
She started crying so loudly customers at nearby tables paused their conversations. I touched her forearm, promised I’d call if I remembered anything else, then set off for my romantic weekend.
But while Jennie and I enjoyed all that fresh air and pub food, a thought nagged at me. Luna adored London, so why move to Australia? It seemed so out of character. Back at our rented cottage, I was so fixated on the thought I needed a smoke, badly.
“What the hell is that?” Jennie demanded, as she stepped onto the front deck.
I glanced at my hands. “Uhh, a cigarette.”
“Michael! Don’t be sarcastic. You know how I feel about those things.”
“…Do I?”
“Uhh, well it’s the same as anybody else. Quit poisoning your lungs and put that thing out.”
“Alright alright, geeze. Sorry Luna.”
“That’s okay.”
A knot formed in my stomach as she went back inside. I’d called Jennie Luna by mistake. And she hadn’t noticed. In fact, her reaction to me smoking was identical to Luna’s—even the snappy way she said the ‘poison your lungs’ line.
I followed Jennie into the lounge, where she’d curled up on an armchair with a Colleen Hoover novel. She was hiding something. What else did she know about Luna? Maybe I could trick her into revealing some details…
From behind, I started massaging her shoulders. “Sorry for being rude before. I know what you said came from a place of love.”
“That’s okay.”
I waited until her eyes drooped shut, then said, “It really is perfect here, huh? Maybe we should stay forever.”
“Wouldn’t that be amazing?”
Her little groans of pleasure, the rhythm of her breathing, it all felt so familiar. I waited until the tension in her neck dissolved, then I pushed my lips against her ear and whispered, “So how about we take this into the bedroom…Lola.”
“Hmm. Sure thing Bugs.”
My hands froze. Jennie jumped up. “Uhh, that felt so good, why’d you stop?”
“What did you just say?”
“What did you just say?”
“I called you Lola,” I replied, my arms frozen in midair. “And you called me bugs.”
“Like the cartoon, right? I thought it’d be a cute nickname. Anyway, I’m tuckered out.” She forced a yawn. “Why don’t we get some sleep?”
As her hand laced with mine, an image of me waking up drugged and gagged and tied to the bedposts flashed before my eyes.
I said, “Sure. I just…need to use the bathroom first.”
The second the door shut behind me, I flew out of the house, climbed in my car, and sped away.
Within seconds my phone started blowing up with calls, followed by texts. Where are you going? Is everything okay?
No, I wanted to reply. I’m onto your sick little game. Whatever it is, I’m onto it.
Luna stalked my stalker, now Jennie somehow knew Luna and I’s nicknames. How? Did all women take turns drawing straws and whoever picked the short one needed to become my girlfriend?
I couldn’t go home. For all I knew, my exes would’ve been there burning effigies of me. I needed a safe place. Somewhere I could lie low until I got all this straightened out.
“Of course you can stay,” Gertrude said over the phone. “I’m out with some friends, but I’ll meet you later. If you hop the side gate there’s a spare key under the kissing gnomes out back.”
Gertrude lived in a detached house in Wembley. It took a bit of foraging to find the gnomes hidden beneath the weeds in the brown, patchy garden.
I needed to shoulder the door open. Inside, a mountain of letters and flyers had piled up on the welcome mat.
Down the hall, a huge archway connected the landing with a lounge, where a bar sat against the far wall, surrounded by upholstered sofas, a low table, and tie dye sheets strung over the filthy carpet. Everything had a real elegant vibe, despite the musty air.
I’d drained two glasses of whiskey before Gertrude arrived.
“Looks like you’ve had a rough evening.”
I said we could talk in the morning.
“Not a chance. You can’t take negative energy to bed. Come on, confession is good for the soul.”
She sat on the sofa and patted the empty seat next to her. So, with a weary sigh, I shared a tale of deranged exes.
“Crazy,” she said.
“I sure can pick ‘em, huh?”
“No, I mean you’re crazy.”
“What?”
“Think about it. What’s more likely: that your ex’s are secretly in collusion, or you’re being paranoid? Look how bloodshot your eyes are. When’s the last time you got a good night’s rest?”
She made a great point; teenagers on the street occasionally shouted ‘Bugs’ or ‘Thumper’ at me. Jennie might’ve come up with the nickname herself. I pinched the bridge of my nose, groaning.
“Look, sleep here tonight. Tomorrow we’ll brainstorm ways you can make it up to Jennie.”
I fumbled through my pockets for a cigarette.
“Really?” Gertrude said. “If you insist on poisoning your lungs, can you at least do it away from my home?”
“Well if I can’t smoke, I’m gonna need a refill.” I shook my empty glass.
On my way toward the bar, a wave of wooziness hit me. My first instinct was to blame it on the alcohol, but there was something else.
It was her reaction to the cigarette. My finger ran through the thick layer of dust along the bar’s countertop. Why was it like the place had been abandoned? Why did Gertrude always pressure me to stay with my psycho girlfriends? And how come she always reached out, as if on cue, whenever my relationships hit problems? It couldn’t be coincidence…
I poured two glasses of whiskey and carried them to the sofa. “So, you’re really against the whole smoking thing, huh?”
“Of course. It’s a filthy habit.”
“Yeah. Plus, there was that mess with your husband. House fire, right?”
“I’d rather not discuss it.”
“Sure, sure.” I ignited the lighter with a roll across my trouser leg.
Gertrude grabbed a cushion and hugged it. “What are you doing?”
“Alright, cut the crap. What the hell’s going on? Have you been sending your friends to date me?”
“What are you talking about?”
I wrestled the cushion from her and held the lighter beneath it. “I want an explanation right now or I’m torching this place.”
This was an empty threat. I wasn’t some pyromaniac—I just wanted answers. Inch by inch, I raised the flame. “Last chance. Why are the women in my life acting weird?”
Gertrude grabbed for the lighter. As I swatted her wrists away, we both got scorched, and for a moment her skin went wild with spasms, a sensation I can only compare to reaching inside a bucket of wet, writhing maggots. My gaze whipped between her face and her hands, which vibrated like plucked guitar strings.
Before I could scream, she yanked me up, clamped a cold, wrinkled palm across my mouth, and forced me against the wall. I thrashed around, unable to move. For a lady old enough to collect a pension, she was crazy strong.
She waited until I ran out of breath, then said, “Michael, please. I’m not going to hurt you. Open your heart and listen.”
What else could I do?
“You were right before. I have been keeping a secret from you. The truth is, I’ve been in love with you since we met. I’d never flown before. And you were so so sweet. You started talking about this other woman, but I knew our energies were perfect for each other. And it’s like I always say, love makes us do crazy things. You can’t begrudge me that can you?”
She looked as if she expected me to respond, so I shook my head.
“But I think we’ve reached a point where our connection is so deep we can be completely transparent with one another.” She took a slow, steady breath. “Michael, all your ex’s, Luna, Sadie, Jennie. They’ve all been…well, me.”
I stared at her, confused.
She sighed. “It’ll be easier if I just show you.”
Out of nowhere her hand wriggled again, then her face tightened, as though the skin was being stretched over the bone. Wrinkles smoothed out and colour bled into her grey hair, turning it brown, and within seconds I found myself face-to-face with Jennie. Even her vintage clothes morphed into a green blouse and white slacks.
“See?” she said in Jennie’s voice, her now blue eyes locked on mine.
I screamed into the soft flesh of her palm.
“Sssh, it’s okay. I’m not gonna hurt you. Watch.”
Her entire body jerked and twitched, the muscles spasming as she shifted from Jennie to Luna. “See? Think of these as costumes”—from Luna to Sadie—"the important thing is what’s underneath. And you’ve fallen in love with what’s underneath three times. Now I’m going to let go, but I need you to promise you won’t overreact. Understand?”
On the verge of a panic attack, I nodded furiously.
The second she pulled away I made a break for the exit. The thing posing as Sadie grabbed me and hurled me backwards against the wall.
Like a disappointed teacher, she put her hands on her hips. “I’ve been so patient with you, Michael. So very, very patient.”
She blocked off any hope of escape. I sidestepped around the outer edge of the room, towards the bar.
“All those years moulding you. Trying to grow you into the man I know you can be. I really thought we had it this time. For the record, I wanted to do this the easy way. But drastic times...”
I was so scared I slammed right into the cabinet and yelped. Glass bottles chattered together, and then something wet ran down the back of my shirt. It was whiskey, leaking from the overturned bottle onto the carpeted floor.
Speaking more to herself now, Gertrude said, “I’ll just have to keep you here until you love me as much as I love you. Of course, that means posing as you so nobody gets suspicious, but that’s no trouble. I’ll tell your dad you’re moving to Italy. You always loved Italy.”
Pose as me? She'd been killing my ex's and taking their place, I was just the latest in a long line. She’d keep me as a personal sugar baby if I didn’t escape, but how? She was impossibly strong, and the only thing that seemed to scare her was…
Snatching the bottle, I doused the remaining whiskey all over the carpet and furniture. As I flicked the lighter open, Sadie’s hands shot up.
“Bugs…darling…what are you doing?”
I took three slow, steady breaths. “Breaking up with you, you crazy bitch.”
I tossed the lighter forward. Within seconds flames sprung up all around us, spreading as far as the sofa. Sadie’s shoe caught fire, and as she stamped around, unintentionally fanning the blaze, her body writhed again, starting with the ankles. Fat boils climbed up every inch of exposed skin, milky white and with the consistency of frog spawn, like she’d had a killer allergic reaction to poison ivy.
She dropped to her knees, wailing like a wounded animal. This was my chance.
I made a break for the exit, giving the creature as wide a berth as possible. But as I got one foot planted in the hall something clamped tight around my ankles. My chin hit the floor, then I started sliding backwards.
I twisted onto my back. Where Sadie’s left arm should’ve been, a tentacle-like appendage stretched across the length of the room, a distance of over twenty feet. It reeled me toward her like a fish on a line. Whatever that thing was no longer looked human. It melted like an ice statue, with no bones or connective tissue inside, its lips nose and mouth becoming hideously elongated before dripping off in huge globs like melted candlewax. A fire alarm started wailing as the tentacle dragged me through the flames, scorching my arms and legs.
The loose mass of skin reached out and encased me like a mother bird sheltering its eggs.
“WHY WON’T YOU LOVE ME?” all my ex’s voices screamed at once. Whichever direction I looked, silhouettes of faces rose and fell, as if trying to burst through. Parts of them dripped inside my mouth, disgustingly warm with a bitter taste worse than Vaseline.
I put everything into clawing my way out if there. What was left of the beast had the consistency of wet clay and came apart just as easily. I tore away chunks until there was a hole large enough to squeeze through. Then, I crawled along surrounded by black smoke.
At the far side of the room I risked a glance back and saw a bumpy, uneven hand reaching out of a puddle of ooze. Soon I was crawling over the bristly welcome mat, then fumbling for the door. All I remember after that are paramedics wrestling me into an ambulance…
A specialist officer came to see me at the hospital the next morning. They’d been unable to contact the homeowner, Gertrude Huyton, and through his line of questioning I could tell they hadn’t found her ‘remains’ inside the charred house. Like the wicked witch of the West, my stalker had melted. I told the officer she said I could stay the night, and that I probably started the fire by dropping a cigarette.
“In that case, we’ll keep trying to reach her.” He walked to the curtain surronding my bed and paused. “Oh, and I almost forgot to mention, her cat is missing.”
“Her...cat?”
“Yeah. The little black one. One of the firemen pulled it out of the wreckage. The poor thing had burns over its legs but it ran off before anybody could take it to the vet.”
I swallowed a gulp and thanked him for telling me.
And now I’m still sitting here listening while nurses rush back and forth, terrified any one of them might be Gertrude…
submitted by lightingnations to nosleep [link] [comments]
I'd never felt such an instant, effortless connection with anybody before. I took a chance and asked her to dinner, and by the time the waiters cleared away our desserts, I already felt comfortable being vulnerable around her. So we went on a second date. And a third. And next thing I knew, we were planning our second anniversary.
In all that time she never gave off any 'creeper' vibes. Until a few months ago, when I stayed the night over at her place...
She'd gotten up early to use the bathroom. I grabbed her laptop off the side desk so I could catch up on some work e-mails, and the incognito tab was just sitting there. My first thought was: either she's having an affair or she's got a secret fetish.
What I found instead was a Google account with a photo album called ‘Michael’s EX’. In it, there were 427 photos of my former girlfriend turned psycho stalker, Sadie. This included shots of ‘Sadie the stalker’ with her family, screenshots of her passport—the works. On Facebook, Sadie's latest post said Moving to the Philippines, and since then she’d become a social media church mouse, so how did Luna keep her under surveillance? And how did you even get PERSONAL ID from a person halfway across the globe?
Down the hall, I heard the bathroom door swing open. Quickly I closed the laptop and pretended to be asleep until Luna planted a kiss on my lips. “Wakey wakey Bugs.”
I faked a stretch. “Morning Lola."
(At school, the other kids christened me ‘Bugs’ because of my cartoonishly large front teeth; I called Luna ‘Lola’ because of her blonde bangs and heart-shaped face.)
“How about we grab a fry for breakfast?” Her smile didn’t seem genuine, more like she was wearing a mask.
“Crap. I forgot I’m doing overtime today, I’ve gotta get to work.” With that, I shot out of there faster than a bullet train to Tokyo.
Because I didn’t wanna believe the worst about someone I cared so deeply about, I didn’t contact the police (not that anybody could’ve guessed what Luna was up to) and made excuses whenever she asked to meet, delaying the decision whether to end our relationship.
At night, I couldn’t sleep. Every time a hedge rustled outside, I’d run to the window and pull back the curtain only to discover a black cat skulking around the garden. I put this down to my previous relationship leaving me with a mountain of unresolved PTSD.
Sadie the stalker also seemed normal until we moved in together. After that she started picking fights if she caught me talking to another woman, even just distant relatives or childhood friends. The screaming matches went from weekly to nightly, only ever ending when I conceded to her every wish and gave her full access to my phone and social media accounts. I literally needed to grab my clothes into a bag and run away one night, and then I started hearing noises outside my new apartment. And although I never found any evidence, I was pretty sure she’d broken in at one point because the books on my side table were suddenly out of order one day. What hurt the most was Luna knew all this and still acted the way she did.
Right as I reached my lowest point, my close friend Gertrude called and said, “The universe is telling me you could use a sympathetic ear.”
I told her the universe didn’t know the half of it.
I’d met Gertrude—aka my surrogate mother—on a flight to London. Passing over Wales the aircraft hit heavy turbulence, and the grey-haired hippie in the seat next to mine squeezed my hand so tight that my fingers turned blue. After we levelled off, she apologized and said, “So what’s calling you to London?”
“A job.”
A few glasses of wine from the service trolley later, she blurted out, “You know your aura is strikingly similar to my husbands.”
“Uhh, thanks. Where is he now?”
“Oh, he burned to death in a house fire.”
Gertrude’s eyes started welling up. To take her mind off the subject, I said, “I lied earlier. I’m going to London because I fell in love with a Londoner.” I pulled up pictures of Sadie (back in her pre-stalker days) on my phone. “We met in Italy. She looked flustered trying to read a map book so I offered to help. Next thing I knew, we were planning a trip to this place called Orvieto.”
“Michael, I need to know how this story ends. Gimme your number.”
Since then, we’d met two or three times a year.
I laid the whole mess out over pizza. It was the first time since finding the Google account I didn’t feel hidden eyes crawling all over me.
Just as I wrapped up the story, over in the corner booth, a family burst into a chorus of happy birthday. A waiter appeared carrying a chocolate cake, capped by a giant candle that looked more like a flare. Gertrude tensed up.
“So what do you think about all this?” I asked.
She looked back at me and said, “It’s possible your reaction has been a touch on the dramatic side.”
“DRAMATIC??”
“Well consider things from Luna’s point of view. Your last relationship lasted for, what, three years? Maybe she felt threatened.”
“I don’t believe this.” I grabbed a cigarette from my pocket, but Gertrude snatched it away.
“You know how I feel about you poisoning your lungs, Michael.”
“Don’t you start. I got enough of that crap from Luna.”
Gertrude always encouraged me to work through my romantic problems. Ultimately, I decided her love of fairytale romances clouded her judgement and ghosted Luna instead. But I couldn’t escape her shadow. She always felt close. In fact, it got so bad that at a friend’s costume party several weeks later, my eyes kept compulsively scanning the crowd as if she was there in disguise, ready to pounce.
I stood off to the corner until, over the sea of heads, I spotted a beautiful stranger dressed as Jarlath the Goblin King. I took a shot of liquid courage and made a B-line towards her.
Halfway across the crowded room, beer splashed across the front of my Ziggy Stardust outfit.
“I am so sorry,” a female pirate said, patting me dry.
“Don’t worry about it.” Every time I tried circling her, she moved to cut me off.
“I am such a klutz. Why don’t you come into the kitchen so I can clean up this mess?”
I put my hands on her shoulders and steered her out of the way. “It’s fine. Trust me.”
Approaching Jarlath from behind, heart slamming against my chest, I said, “Well this is awkward. One of us is gonna have to change.”
Jennie had bright blue eyes and dimples impossible to miss. Ten minutes into our debate about David Bowie’s greatest album, I said, “You know Absolute Bowie are playing the Half Moon next week. I could take you?”
“Sorry. I’m going with my boyfriend,” she said with a sympathetic smile. From beside the buffet table, the pirate stared daggers in our direction.
“No worries,” I replied, despite the fact I was brimming with jealousy.
The next day, as I jogged off my hangover, a brown-haired lady cut across my path and we both went spinning to the ground.
“Flip, sorry.” I rushed to pull her up by the hands. “I’m like a bloody zombie lately.”
She did a doubletake. “Ziggy, right?”
There was no mistaking those eyes. “Jarlath?”
“Well, Jarlath or Jennie. Eithers fine.”
“Right. Well, sorry again. Enjoy Absolute Bowie.”
Before I could jog away, she said, “Hey, so that guy I was seeing? Turns out he’s a total prick.”
Jennie and I went for coffee. Coffee morphed into drinks. Drinks morphed into a steamy make-out session on my sofa.
But as she covered my neck in soft kisses, my stomach turned. It felt like cheating. So, I put the brakes on things and said, “I can’t do this. I’m really sorry. You’re amazing, but I just got out of a serious relationship…and…it’s just…”
“Hey, don’t worry about it.”
We agreed we’d let our connection blossom in its own time.
Jennie had a playful mystique to her. Within a handful of dates, we’d developed inside jokes and could tell what the other was thinking. But Luna’s imprint was hard to shake, to the extent I almost mixed up the two ladies’ names multiple times.
To detox, I suggested Jennie and I spend a romantic weekend in the Lake District, because after two days of hiking and kayaking my ex would no doubt be a spec in the rearview mirror.
Hours before we set off, however, Luna’s mom called. She wanted to meet and wouldn’t accept any excuses.
“Look, it’s obvious why I’m here,” she said, sitting across from me in Starbucks. “Ever since you and Luna broke up, she’s been acting…different.”
“Different? Different how?”
“I call but she hardly answers. I go over to her place but she’s never there. Now she’s telling me she needs to find herself. Says she’s moving to Australia.”
Her fingers tightened around her cup. “I need to know what happened between you two. And I don’t care if that paints anybody in a bad light. I’m just worried about my daughter is all.”
I told her about the Google account.
“Did you confront her about it?”
“Hell no. I ghosted that crazy bitc—” I cleared my throat. “I mean, I just…stopped seeing her.”
She started crying so loudly customers at nearby tables paused their conversations. I touched her forearm, promised I’d call if I remembered anything else, then set off for my romantic weekend.
But while Jennie and I enjoyed all that fresh air and pub food, a thought nagged at me. Luna adored London, so why move to Australia? It seemed so out of character. Back at our rented cottage, I was so fixated on the thought I needed a smoke, badly.
“What the hell is that?” Jennie demanded, as she stepped onto the front deck.
I glanced at my hands. “Uhh, a cigarette.”
“Michael! Don’t be sarcastic. You know how I feel about those things.”
“…Do I?”
“Uhh, well it’s the same as anybody else. Quit poisoning your lungs and put that thing out.”
“Alright alright, geeze. Sorry Luna.”
“That’s okay.”
A knot formed in my stomach as she went back inside. I’d called Jennie Luna by mistake. And she hadn’t noticed. In fact, her reaction to me smoking was identical to Luna’s—even the snappy way she said the ‘poison your lungs’ line.
I followed Jennie into the lounge, where she’d curled up on an armchair with a Colleen Hoover novel. She was hiding something. What else did she know about Luna? Maybe I could trick her into revealing some details…
From behind, I started massaging her shoulders. “Sorry for being rude before. I know what you said came from a place of love.”
“That’s okay.”
I waited until her eyes drooped shut, then said, “It really is perfect here, huh? Maybe we should stay forever.”
“Wouldn’t that be amazing?”
Her little groans of pleasure, the rhythm of her breathing, it all felt so familiar. I waited until the tension in her neck dissolved, then I pushed my lips against her ear and whispered, “So how about we take this into the bedroom…Lola.”
“Hmm. Sure thing Bugs.”
My hands froze. Jennie jumped up. “Uhh, that felt so good, why’d you stop?”
“What did you just say?”
“What did you just say?”
“I called you Lola,” I replied, my arms frozen in midair. “And you called me bugs.”
“Like the cartoon, right? I thought it’d be a cute nickname. Anyway, I’m tuckered out.” She forced a yawn. “Why don’t we get some sleep?”
As her hand laced with mine, an image of me waking up drugged and gagged and tied to the bedposts flashed before my eyes.
I said, “Sure. I just…need to use the bathroom first.”
The second the door shut behind me, I flew out of the house, climbed in my car, and sped away.
Within seconds my phone started blowing up with calls, followed by texts. Where are you going? Is everything okay?
No, I wanted to reply. I’m onto your sick little game. Whatever it is, I’m onto it.
Luna stalked my stalker, now Jennie somehow knew Luna and I’s nicknames. How? Did all women take turns drawing straws and whoever picked the short one needed to become my girlfriend?
I couldn’t go home. For all I knew, my exes would’ve been there burning effigies of me. I needed a safe place. Somewhere I could lie low until I got all this straightened out.
“Of course you can stay,” Gertrude said over the phone. “I’m out with some friends, but I’ll meet you later. If you hop the side gate there’s a spare key under the kissing gnomes out back.”
Gertrude lived in a detached house in Wembley. It took a bit of foraging to find the gnomes hidden beneath the weeds in the brown, patchy garden.
I needed to shoulder the door open. Inside, a mountain of letters and flyers had piled up on the welcome mat.
Down the hall, a huge archway connected the landing with a lounge, where a bar sat against the far wall, surrounded by upholstered sofas, a low table, and tie dye sheets strung over the filthy carpet. Everything had a real elegant vibe, despite the musty air.
I’d drained two glasses of whiskey before Gertrude arrived.
“Looks like you’ve had a rough evening.”
I said we could talk in the morning.
“Not a chance. You can’t take negative energy to bed. Come on, confession is good for the soul.”
She sat on the sofa and patted the empty seat next to her. So, with a weary sigh, I shared a tale of deranged exes.
“Crazy,” she said.
“I sure can pick ‘em, huh?”
“No, I mean you’re crazy.”
“What?”
“Think about it. What’s more likely: that your ex’s are secretly in collusion, or you’re being paranoid? Look how bloodshot your eyes are. When’s the last time you got a good night’s rest?”
She made a great point; teenagers on the street occasionally shouted ‘Bugs’ or ‘Thumper’ at me. Jennie might’ve come up with the nickname herself. I pinched the bridge of my nose, groaning.
“Look, sleep here tonight. Tomorrow we’ll brainstorm ways you can make it up to Jennie.”
I fumbled through my pockets for a cigarette.
“Really?” Gertrude said. “If you insist on poisoning your lungs, can you at least do it away from my home?”
“Well if I can’t smoke, I’m gonna need a refill.” I shook my empty glass.
On my way toward the bar, a wave of wooziness hit me. My first instinct was to blame it on the alcohol, but there was something else.
It was her reaction to the cigarette. My finger ran through the thick layer of dust along the bar’s countertop. Why was it like the place had been abandoned? Why did Gertrude always pressure me to stay with my psycho girlfriends? And how come she always reached out, as if on cue, whenever my relationships hit problems? It couldn’t be coincidence…
I poured two glasses of whiskey and carried them to the sofa. “So, you’re really against the whole smoking thing, huh?”
“Of course. It’s a filthy habit.”
“Yeah. Plus, there was that mess with your husband. House fire, right?”
“I’d rather not discuss it.”
“Sure, sure.” I ignited the lighter with a roll across my trouser leg.
Gertrude grabbed a cushion and hugged it. “What are you doing?”
“Alright, cut the crap. What the hell’s going on? Have you been sending your friends to date me?”
“What are you talking about?”
I wrestled the cushion from her and held the lighter beneath it. “I want an explanation right now or I’m torching this place.”
This was an empty threat. I wasn’t some pyromaniac—I just wanted answers. Inch by inch, I raised the flame. “Last chance. Why are the women in my life acting weird?”
Gertrude grabbed for the lighter. As I swatted her wrists away, we both got scorched, and for a moment her skin went wild with spasms, a sensation I can only compare to reaching inside a bucket of wet, writhing maggots. My gaze whipped between her face and her hands, which vibrated like plucked guitar strings.
Before I could scream, she yanked me up, clamped a cold, wrinkled palm across my mouth, and forced me against the wall. I thrashed around, unable to move. For a lady old enough to collect a pension, she was crazy strong.
She waited until I ran out of breath, then said, “Michael, please. I’m not going to hurt you. Open your heart and listen.”
What else could I do?
“You were right before. I have been keeping a secret from you. The truth is, I’ve been in love with you since we met. I’d never flown before. And you were so so sweet. You started talking about this other woman, but I knew our energies were perfect for each other. And it’s like I always say, love makes us do crazy things. You can’t begrudge me that can you?”
She looked as if she expected me to respond, so I shook my head.
“But I think we’ve reached a point where our connection is so deep we can be completely transparent with one another.” She took a slow, steady breath. “Michael, all your ex’s, Luna, Sadie, Jennie. They’ve all been…well, me.”
I stared at her, confused.
She sighed. “It’ll be easier if I just show you.”
Out of nowhere her hand wriggled again, then her face tightened, as though the skin was being stretched over the bone. Wrinkles smoothed out and colour bled into her grey hair, turning it brown, and within seconds I found myself face-to-face with Jennie. Even her vintage clothes morphed into a green blouse and white slacks.
“See?” she said in Jennie’s voice, her now blue eyes locked on mine.
I screamed into the soft flesh of her palm.
“Sssh, it’s okay. I’m not gonna hurt you. Watch.”
Her entire body jerked and twitched, the muscles spasming as she shifted from Jennie to Luna. “See? Think of these as costumes”—from Luna to Sadie—"the important thing is what’s underneath. And you’ve fallen in love with what’s underneath three times. Now I’m going to let go, but I need you to promise you won’t overreact. Understand?”
On the verge of a panic attack, I nodded furiously.
The second she pulled away I made a break for the exit. The thing posing as Sadie grabbed me and hurled me backwards against the wall.
Like a disappointed teacher, she put her hands on her hips. “I’ve been so patient with you, Michael. So very, very patient.”
She blocked off any hope of escape. I sidestepped around the outer edge of the room, towards the bar.
“All those years moulding you. Trying to grow you into the man I know you can be. I really thought we had it this time. For the record, I wanted to do this the easy way. But drastic times...”
I was so scared I slammed right into the cabinet and yelped. Glass bottles chattered together, and then something wet ran down the back of my shirt. It was whiskey, leaking from the overturned bottle onto the carpeted floor.
Speaking more to herself now, Gertrude said, “I’ll just have to keep you here until you love me as much as I love you. Of course, that means posing as you so nobody gets suspicious, but that’s no trouble. I’ll tell your dad you’re moving to Italy. You always loved Italy.”
Pose as me? She'd been killing my ex's and taking their place, I was just the latest in a long line. She’d keep me as a personal sugar baby if I didn’t escape, but how? She was impossibly strong, and the only thing that seemed to scare her was…
Snatching the bottle, I doused the remaining whiskey all over the carpet and furniture. As I flicked the lighter open, Sadie’s hands shot up.
“Bugs…darling…what are you doing?”
I took three slow, steady breaths. “Breaking up with you, you crazy bitch.”
I tossed the lighter forward. Within seconds flames sprung up all around us, spreading as far as the sofa. Sadie’s shoe caught fire, and as she stamped around, unintentionally fanning the blaze, her body writhed again, starting with the ankles. Fat boils climbed up every inch of exposed skin, milky white and with the consistency of frog spawn, like she’d had a killer allergic reaction to poison ivy.
She dropped to her knees, wailing like a wounded animal. This was my chance.
I made a break for the exit, giving the creature as wide a berth as possible. But as I got one foot planted in the hall something clamped tight around my ankles. My chin hit the floor, then I started sliding backwards.
I twisted onto my back. Where Sadie’s left arm should’ve been, a tentacle-like appendage stretched across the length of the room, a distance of over twenty feet. It reeled me toward her like a fish on a line. Whatever that thing was no longer looked human. It melted like an ice statue, with no bones or connective tissue inside, its lips nose and mouth becoming hideously elongated before dripping off in huge globs like melted candlewax. A fire alarm started wailing as the tentacle dragged me through the flames, scorching my arms and legs.
The loose mass of skin reached out and encased me like a mother bird sheltering its eggs.
“WHY WON’T YOU LOVE ME?” all my ex’s voices screamed at once. Whichever direction I looked, silhouettes of faces rose and fell, as if trying to burst through. Parts of them dripped inside my mouth, disgustingly warm with a bitter taste worse than Vaseline.
I put everything into clawing my way out if there. What was left of the beast had the consistency of wet clay and came apart just as easily. I tore away chunks until there was a hole large enough to squeeze through. Then, I crawled along surrounded by black smoke.
At the far side of the room I risked a glance back and saw a bumpy, uneven hand reaching out of a puddle of ooze. Soon I was crawling over the bristly welcome mat, then fumbling for the door. All I remember after that are paramedics wrestling me into an ambulance…
A specialist officer came to see me at the hospital the next morning. They’d been unable to contact the homeowner, Gertrude Huyton, and through his line of questioning I could tell they hadn’t found her ‘remains’ inside the charred house. Like the wicked witch of the West, my stalker had melted. I told the officer she said I could stay the night, and that I probably started the fire by dropping a cigarette.
“In that case, we’ll keep trying to reach her.” He walked to the curtain surronding my bed and paused. “Oh, and I almost forgot to mention, her cat is missing.”
“Her...cat?”
“Yeah. The little black one. One of the firemen pulled it out of the wreckage. The poor thing had burns over its legs but it ran off before anybody could take it to the vet.”
I swallowed a gulp and thanked him for telling me.
And now I’m still sitting here listening while nurses rush back and forth, terrified any one of them might be Gertrude…
2024.05.19 15:46 DevelopmentHoliday5 SWEET CHILI CRISPY TOFU NOODLE BOWL 🥢
SWEET CHILI CRISPY TOFU NOODLE BOWL 🥢 You’ll sure to love this flavorful bowl plus it’s ready in less than 30 minutes. 😋 Sweet Chili Crispy Tofu Noodle Bowls 🥢• 14 oz extra firm tofu • 1 C snow peas, halved • 2 carrots, sliced or ribboned with peeler • 1 C purple cabbage, chopped • 1 bunch lacinto kale, chopped and drizzled with 1 tsp EVOO + 1 lemon, juiced • 2 mangoes, cubed • 1 English cucumber, sliced • 14 oz shirataki angel hair noodles (these are 0 carb 0 calorie noodles made from the konjac plant and have a very similar texture to rice noodles, making them great in asian dishes! Alternatively, you can substitute for rice noodles) Sweet & Spicy Chili Sauce 🌶• 2 TBSP sweet chili sauce , 3 TBSP chili garlic sauce (sambal oelek), 1 TBSP tamari or soy sauce, 1 TBSP rice vinegar Slice tofu lengthwise into 3 slabs. wrap in a towel and place on counter. Top with a large cutting board as well as something heavy like a cast iron skillet. Press for 10-15 minutes to remove excess liquid. Slice tofu into cubes.Heat 1 tsp EVOO in a large cast iron skillet over medium low heat. Add tofu in a single layer and cook for 5-6 minutes - DO NOT FLIP UNTIL THEY WIGGLE freely and are nice and golden. If they’re sticking to the skillet, they’re not ready. Flip and repeat on second side.Meanwhile, steam snow peas and carrots until al dente, boil noodles for 5 minutes, and massage kale until tender.Prepare sauce by mixing all ingredients together. Adjust for desired sweetness/spiciness. Pour sauce over crispy tofu and toss to coat. Arrange all ingredients in bowls and top with crispy tofu and extra sauce! Garnish with cilantro if desired.#healthyfood #healthyfoodshare #healthyfood #healthyveganfood #us#healthyfoodrecipes #vegan #veganfood #healthyfoodlover #foodrecipes #healthyfoodblog #healthyfoodblogger #healthyfoodchoice#foodie #healthy #food #fitness #instagood
submitted by DevelopmentHoliday5 to healthyfoodgroup [link] [comments]
2024.05.19 15:43 marlennok Presale Next Week YeeHaw SPL-404 Hybrid DeFi NFTs + $YEEHAW tokens combined Telegram crypto games soon Team is cooking
YeeHaw is a Hybrid DeFi (SPL-404) project on Solana, bringing NFT and Memecoin communities together.
Website: https://linktr.ee/theyeehaw
What is the YeeHaw, and what makes it unique?
YeeHaw is a Hybrid DeFi (SPL-404) project on Solana, bringing together the NFT and Memecoin communities. Furthermore, we're enhancing our meme-vibes project with a crypto gaming platform that will distinguish us from other SPL-404 projects lacking utility.
What is Hybrid DeFi?
Hybrid DeFi is the concept of combining NFTs and tokens together under a shared tokenomics structure. It is also referred to as NFT + token, or as hybrids.
What is SPL-404?
SPL-404 is a new Hybrid DeFi protocol on Solana that revolutionizes NFTs by adding a new layer of liquidity, distribution, and gamification.
What are the benefits of Hybrid DeFi?
submitted by marlennok to AltcoinTalk [link] [comments]
Website: https://linktr.ee/theyeehaw
What is the YeeHaw, and what makes it unique?
YeeHaw is a Hybrid DeFi (SPL-404) project on Solana, bringing together the NFT and Memecoin communities. Furthermore, we're enhancing our meme-vibes project with a crypto gaming platform that will distinguish us from other SPL-404 projects lacking utility.
What is Hybrid DeFi?
Hybrid DeFi is the concept of combining NFTs and tokens together under a shared tokenomics structure. It is also referred to as NFT + token, or as hybrids.
What is SPL-404?
SPL-404 is a new Hybrid DeFi protocol on Solana that revolutionizes NFTs by adding a new layer of liquidity, distribution, and gamification.
What are the benefits of Hybrid DeFi?
- YeeHaw NFTs will be more liquid, given the ease of entry and higher volume on the token side.
- We aim to appeal to a much larger and broader audience, particularly those interested in memecoins.
- We intend to reduce the barriers to entry for our project.
- This will allow YeeHaw NFTs to be tradable on both DEXs and NFT marketplaces.
2024.05.19 15:43 marlennok Presale Next Week YeeHaw SPL-404 Hybrid DeFi NFTs + $YEEHAW tokens combined Telegram crypto games soon Team is cooking
YeeHaw is a Hybrid DeFi (SPL-404) project on Solana, bringing NFT and Memecoin communities together.
Website: https://linktr.ee/theyeehaw
What is the YeeHaw, and what makes it unique?
YeeHaw is a Hybrid DeFi (SPL-404) project on Solana, bringing together the NFT and Memecoin communities. Furthermore, we're enhancing our meme-vibes project with a crypto gaming platform that will distinguish us from other SPL-404 projects lacking utility.
What is Hybrid DeFi?
Hybrid DeFi is the concept of combining NFTs and tokens together under a shared tokenomics structure. It is also referred to as NFT + token, or as hybrids.
What is SPL-404?
SPL-404 is a new Hybrid DeFi protocol on Solana that revolutionizes NFTs by adding a new layer of liquidity, distribution, and gamification.
What are the benefits of Hybrid DeFi?
submitted by marlennok to memecoinmoonshots [link] [comments]
Website: https://linktr.ee/theyeehaw
What is the YeeHaw, and what makes it unique?
YeeHaw is a Hybrid DeFi (SPL-404) project on Solana, bringing together the NFT and Memecoin communities. Furthermore, we're enhancing our meme-vibes project with a crypto gaming platform that will distinguish us from other SPL-404 projects lacking utility.
What is Hybrid DeFi?
Hybrid DeFi is the concept of combining NFTs and tokens together under a shared tokenomics structure. It is also referred to as NFT + token, or as hybrids.
What is SPL-404?
SPL-404 is a new Hybrid DeFi protocol on Solana that revolutionizes NFTs by adding a new layer of liquidity, distribution, and gamification.
What are the benefits of Hybrid DeFi?
- YeeHaw NFTs will be more liquid, given the ease of entry and higher volume on the token side.
- We aim to appeal to a much larger and broader audience, particularly those interested in memecoins.
- We intend to reduce the barriers to entry for our project.
- This will allow YeeHaw NFTs to be tradable on both DEXs and NFT marketplaces.
2024.05.19 15:43 marlennok Presale Next Week YeeHaw SPL-404 Hybrid DeFi NFTs + $YEEHAW tokens combined Telegram crypto games soon Team is cooking
YeeHaw is a Hybrid DeFi (SPL-404) project on Solana, bringing NFT and Memecoin communities together.
Website: https://linktr.ee/theyeehaw
What is the YeeHaw, and what makes it unique?
YeeHaw is a Hybrid DeFi (SPL-404) project on Solana, bringing together the NFT and Memecoin communities. Furthermore, we're enhancing our meme-vibes project with a crypto gaming platform that will distinguish us from other SPL-404 projects lacking utility.
What is Hybrid DeFi?
Hybrid DeFi is the concept of combining NFTs and tokens together under a shared tokenomics structure. It is also referred to as NFT + token, or as hybrids.
What is SPL-404?
SPL-404 is a new Hybrid DeFi protocol on Solana that revolutionizes NFTs by adding a new layer of liquidity, distribution, and gamification.
What are the benefits of Hybrid DeFi?
submitted by marlennok to CryptoMoon [link] [comments]
Website: https://linktr.ee/theyeehaw
What is the YeeHaw, and what makes it unique?
YeeHaw is a Hybrid DeFi (SPL-404) project on Solana, bringing together the NFT and Memecoin communities. Furthermore, we're enhancing our meme-vibes project with a crypto gaming platform that will distinguish us from other SPL-404 projects lacking utility.
What is Hybrid DeFi?
Hybrid DeFi is the concept of combining NFTs and tokens together under a shared tokenomics structure. It is also referred to as NFT + token, or as hybrids.
What is SPL-404?
SPL-404 is a new Hybrid DeFi protocol on Solana that revolutionizes NFTs by adding a new layer of liquidity, distribution, and gamification.
What are the benefits of Hybrid DeFi?
- YeeHaw NFTs will be more liquid, given the ease of entry and higher volume on the token side.
- We aim to appeal to a much larger and broader audience, particularly those interested in memecoins.
- We intend to reduce the barriers to entry for our project.
- This will allow YeeHaw NFTs to be tradable on both DEXs and NFT marketplaces.
2024.05.19 15:43 marlennok Presale Next Week YeeHaw SPL-404 Hybrid DeFi NFTs + $YEEHAW tokens combined Telegram crypto games soon Team is cooking
YeeHaw is a Hybrid DeFi (SPL-404) project on Solana, bringing NFT and Memecoin communities together.
Website: https://linktr.ee/theyeehaw
What is the YeeHaw, and what makes it unique?
YeeHaw is a Hybrid DeFi (SPL-404) project on Solana, bringing together the NFT and Memecoin communities. Furthermore, we're enhancing our meme-vibes project with a crypto gaming platform that will distinguish us from other SPL-404 projects lacking utility.
What is Hybrid DeFi?
Hybrid DeFi is the concept of combining NFTs and tokens together under a shared tokenomics structure. It is also referred to as NFT + token, or as hybrids.
What is SPL-404?
SPL-404 is a new Hybrid DeFi protocol on Solana that revolutionizes NFTs by adding a new layer of liquidity, distribution, and gamification.
What are the benefits of Hybrid DeFi?
submitted by marlennok to CryptoMars [link] [comments]
Website: https://linktr.ee/theyeehaw
What is the YeeHaw, and what makes it unique?
YeeHaw is a Hybrid DeFi (SPL-404) project on Solana, bringing together the NFT and Memecoin communities. Furthermore, we're enhancing our meme-vibes project with a crypto gaming platform that will distinguish us from other SPL-404 projects lacking utility.
What is Hybrid DeFi?
Hybrid DeFi is the concept of combining NFTs and tokens together under a shared tokenomics structure. It is also referred to as NFT + token, or as hybrids.
What is SPL-404?
SPL-404 is a new Hybrid DeFi protocol on Solana that revolutionizes NFTs by adding a new layer of liquidity, distribution, and gamification.
What are the benefits of Hybrid DeFi?
- YeeHaw NFTs will be more liquid, given the ease of entry and higher volume on the token side.
- We aim to appeal to a much larger and broader audience, particularly those interested in memecoins.
- We intend to reduce the barriers to entry for our project.
- This will allow YeeHaw NFTs to be tradable on both DEXs and NFT marketplaces.
2024.05.19 15:42 marlennok Presale Next Week YeeHaw SPL-404 Hybrid DeFi NFTs + $YEEHAW tokens combined Telegram crypto games soon Team is cooking
YeeHaw is a Hybrid DeFi (SPL-404) project on Solana, bringing NFT and Memecoin communities together.
Website: https://linktr.ee/theyeehaw
What is the YeeHaw, and what makes it unique?
YeeHaw is a Hybrid DeFi (SPL-404) project on Solana, bringing together the NFT and Memecoin communities. Furthermore, we're enhancing our meme-vibes project with a crypto gaming platform that will distinguish us from other SPL-404 projects lacking utility.
What is Hybrid DeFi?
Hybrid DeFi is the concept of combining NFTs and tokens together under a shared tokenomics structure. It is also referred to as NFT + token, or as hybrids.
What is SPL-404?
SPL-404 is a new Hybrid DeFi protocol on Solana that revolutionizes NFTs by adding a new layer of liquidity, distribution, and gamification.
What are the benefits of Hybrid DeFi?
submitted by marlennok to memecoins [link] [comments]
Website: https://linktr.ee/theyeehaw
What is the YeeHaw, and what makes it unique?
YeeHaw is a Hybrid DeFi (SPL-404) project on Solana, bringing together the NFT and Memecoin communities. Furthermore, we're enhancing our meme-vibes project with a crypto gaming platform that will distinguish us from other SPL-404 projects lacking utility.
What is Hybrid DeFi?
Hybrid DeFi is the concept of combining NFTs and tokens together under a shared tokenomics structure. It is also referred to as NFT + token, or as hybrids.
What is SPL-404?
SPL-404 is a new Hybrid DeFi protocol on Solana that revolutionizes NFTs by adding a new layer of liquidity, distribution, and gamification.
What are the benefits of Hybrid DeFi?
- YeeHaw NFTs will be more liquid, given the ease of entry and higher volume on the token side.
- We aim to appeal to a much larger and broader audience, particularly those interested in memecoins.
- We intend to reduce the barriers to entry for our project.
- This will allow YeeHaw NFTs to be tradable on both DEXs and NFT marketplaces.
2024.05.19 15:42 marlennok Presale Next Week YeeHaw SPL-404 Hybrid DeFi NFTs + $YEEHAW tokens combined Telegram crypto games soon Team is cooking
YeeHaw is a Hybrid DeFi (SPL-404) project on Solana, bringing NFT and Memecoin communities together.
Website: https://linktr.ee/theyeehaw
What is the YeeHaw, and what makes it unique?
YeeHaw is a Hybrid DeFi (SPL-404) project on Solana, bringing together the NFT and Memecoin communities. Furthermore, we're enhancing our meme-vibes project with a crypto gaming platform that will distinguish us from other SPL-404 projects lacking utility.
What is Hybrid DeFi?
Hybrid DeFi is the concept of combining NFTs and tokens together under a shared tokenomics structure. It is also referred to as NFT + token, or as hybrids.
What is SPL-404?
SPL-404 is a new Hybrid DeFi protocol on Solana that revolutionizes NFTs by adding a new layer of liquidity, distribution, and gamification.
What are the benefits of Hybrid DeFi?
submitted by marlennok to CryptoMarsShots [link] [comments]
Website: https://linktr.ee/theyeehaw
What is the YeeHaw, and what makes it unique?
YeeHaw is a Hybrid DeFi (SPL-404) project on Solana, bringing together the NFT and Memecoin communities. Furthermore, we're enhancing our meme-vibes project with a crypto gaming platform that will distinguish us from other SPL-404 projects lacking utility.
What is Hybrid DeFi?
Hybrid DeFi is the concept of combining NFTs and tokens together under a shared tokenomics structure. It is also referred to as NFT + token, or as hybrids.
What is SPL-404?
SPL-404 is a new Hybrid DeFi protocol on Solana that revolutionizes NFTs by adding a new layer of liquidity, distribution, and gamification.
What are the benefits of Hybrid DeFi?
- YeeHaw NFTs will be more liquid, given the ease of entry and higher volume on the token side.
- We aim to appeal to a much larger and broader audience, particularly those interested in memecoins.
- We intend to reduce the barriers to entry for our project.
- This will allow YeeHaw NFTs to be tradable on both DEXs and NFT marketplaces.
2024.05.19 15:42 marlennok Presale Next Week YeeHaw SPL-404 Hybrid DeFi NFTs + $YEEHAW tokens combined Telegram crypto games soon Team is cooking
YeeHaw is a Hybrid DeFi (SPL-404) project on Solana, bringing NFT and Memecoin communities together.
Website: https://linktr.ee/theyeehaw
What is the YeeHaw, and what makes it unique?
YeeHaw is a Hybrid DeFi (SPL-404) project on Solana, bringing together the NFT and Memecoin communities. Furthermore, we're enhancing our meme-vibes project with a crypto gaming platform that will distinguish us from other SPL-404 projects lacking utility.
What is Hybrid DeFi?
Hybrid DeFi is the concept of combining NFTs and tokens together under a shared tokenomics structure. It is also referred to as NFT + token, or as hybrids.
What is SPL-404?
SPL-404 is a new Hybrid DeFi protocol on Solana that revolutionizes NFTs by adding a new layer of liquidity, distribution, and gamification.
What are the benefits of Hybrid DeFi?
submitted by marlennok to AltcoinAdvisor [link] [comments]
Website: https://linktr.ee/theyeehaw
What is the YeeHaw, and what makes it unique?
YeeHaw is a Hybrid DeFi (SPL-404) project on Solana, bringing together the NFT and Memecoin communities. Furthermore, we're enhancing our meme-vibes project with a crypto gaming platform that will distinguish us from other SPL-404 projects lacking utility.
What is Hybrid DeFi?
Hybrid DeFi is the concept of combining NFTs and tokens together under a shared tokenomics structure. It is also referred to as NFT + token, or as hybrids.
What is SPL-404?
SPL-404 is a new Hybrid DeFi protocol on Solana that revolutionizes NFTs by adding a new layer of liquidity, distribution, and gamification.
What are the benefits of Hybrid DeFi?
- YeeHaw NFTs will be more liquid, given the ease of entry and higher volume on the token side.
- We aim to appeal to a much larger and broader audience, particularly those interested in memecoins.
- We intend to reduce the barriers to entry for our project.
- This will allow YeeHaw NFTs to be tradable on both DEXs and NFT marketplaces.
2024.05.19 15:42 marlennok Presale Next Week YeeHaw SPL-404 Hybrid DeFi NFTs + $YEEHAW tokens combined Telegram crypto games soon Team is cooking
YeeHaw is a Hybrid DeFi (SPL-404) project on Solana, bringing NFT and Memecoin communities together.
Website: https://linktr.ee/theyeehaw
What is the YeeHaw, and what makes it unique?
YeeHaw is a Hybrid DeFi (SPL-404) project on Solana, bringing together the NFT and Memecoin communities. Furthermore, we're enhancing our meme-vibes project with a crypto gaming platform that will distinguish us from other SPL-404 projects lacking utility.
What is Hybrid DeFi?
Hybrid DeFi is the concept of combining NFTs and tokens together under a shared tokenomics structure. It is also referred to as NFT + token, or as hybrids.
What is SPL-404?
SPL-404 is a new Hybrid DeFi protocol on Solana that revolutionizes NFTs by adding a new layer of liquidity, distribution, and gamification.
What are the benefits of Hybrid DeFi?
submitted by marlennok to Crypto_General [link] [comments]
Website: https://linktr.ee/theyeehaw
What is the YeeHaw, and what makes it unique?
YeeHaw is a Hybrid DeFi (SPL-404) project on Solana, bringing together the NFT and Memecoin communities. Furthermore, we're enhancing our meme-vibes project with a crypto gaming platform that will distinguish us from other SPL-404 projects lacking utility.
What is Hybrid DeFi?
Hybrid DeFi is the concept of combining NFTs and tokens together under a shared tokenomics structure. It is also referred to as NFT + token, or as hybrids.
What is SPL-404?
SPL-404 is a new Hybrid DeFi protocol on Solana that revolutionizes NFTs by adding a new layer of liquidity, distribution, and gamification.
What are the benefits of Hybrid DeFi?
- YeeHaw NFTs will be more liquid, given the ease of entry and higher volume on the token side.
- We aim to appeal to a much larger and broader audience, particularly those interested in memecoins.
- We intend to reduce the barriers to entry for our project.
- This will allow YeeHaw NFTs to be tradable on both DEXs and NFT marketplaces.
2024.05.19 15:39 foxermate Constant introspection/self questioning OCD?
Disclaimer: I’m not seeking a diagnosis, just looking for advice on how to approach this, what my next steps might look like.
In order for this to make sense, I’ll give my full story so far in this battle:
First thing to note is that after some traumatic emotional abuse experiences at a young age at school from a teacher, I developed what at the time looked like extreme health anxiety. While I was so young that I can’t consciously go back and remember how it felt, I know and have been told that I was generally extremely anxious about health-related stuff, and the most extreme of these was that I thought there was/might poison in my food because I had read about a poisonous frog, and had concluded that there was a slim chance that somehow the poison from the frog could end up in my food somehow, and this led me to not eating and becoming malnourished for a short time, but this changed because my parents locked me in a room until I agreed to eat as an extreme measure once I was becoming dangerously underweight. Just wanted to write that in case it’s relevant, but my more recent experiences are what’s most important.
The first time I EVER noticed obsessive thoughts was when I first tripped acid (note that I absolutely do not do this anymore lmao), and the obsessive thoughts were about me being a sociopath. It was like “am I a sociopath? I’m always so in my head and overthinking things and wondering what the right way to do things is and I don’t know what I actually feel like doing?
Anyway, that trip ended and I kind of just let it be for a little less than a year. Then I entered a romantic relationship. This was also the first ever relationship in my life where I felt like I could fully trust the other person with absolutely anything. But about a month in, I started to notice that I was really getting in my head about whether I loved her or not, whether I was just faking it, wondering who I really was and am I just some sort of autopilot chameleon. I would overthink so much every time there was vulnerability cause I had thoughts like I was either unequipped to deal with her vulnerability, or like I wasn’t capable of it and that made me defective. This led me to IFS therapy focused on trauma. While I have no doubt there are things to be found there, and I do see value in that work, I’m starting to wonder if it’s doing more harm than good as I’ll soon explain.
Fast forward a year later and ive had a lot of shit go down at once, had to leave family home abruptly, relationship is being strained by my mental health. I still suffer from health anxiety and get fixated on things like my pulse/breathing and feeling like my heart is going to stop/like I can’t get enough air in. After experiencing practically constant panic level anxiety for 3 days straight while on a tour (im a musician), I had a full nervous breakdown and ended up in hospital. At the time, it was like I was worried about literally anything making me anxious, which of course made me anxious. I was taking posters off of my walls because I couldn’t stop thinking “what if I don’t really actually like these posters and they’re just there cause I feel like they should be and I’m just doing what I think I’m supposed to instead of what I want, what do I want…?” Etc.
That was 2 months ago. The hospital stay was a constantly terrifying experience of being fixated on my heart and worrying about it being too high, which of course made it so. I got out of hospital, briefly got better and had a couple weeks where everything honestly seemed fine and then fell straight back in following a panic attack while out with a friend. Since then things have been up and down but generally pretty constant. I had to break up with my girlfriend because my mental health was putting too much strain on her, and my constant being in my head around her thinking “am I actually being genuine, or am I just making up what I think I’m supposed to be doing” was also worsening my own struggle.
Upon leaving her, I fully committed to healing and at that time was fully convinced I was dealing with trauma which was causing me to bury emotions and feel inadequate. I became OBSESSED with it. Obsessed with identifying emotions, understanding why they were there, and trying to link things back to this aspect or that aspect of trauma. That was 4 weeks ago, and I’m reaching a really horrible point. I’m at a point now where I’m obsessively thinking about EVERYTHING in an existential kind of way, trying to “work out” my brain. It’s really difficult to describe, but to give a couple glimpses, even as I write this I’m wondering “am I making this up?” And my obsessions become “meta” in a sense, where I’ll start obsessing over understanding/working out the obsessions, and then doing that again and again, like infinite layers of obsession.
I feel trapped by these obsessions, because they completely rob me of my ability to feel definitive about literally anything. My mind has gotten so good at questioning even the most mundane of things that I can’t go a minute without questioning my actions/feelings/obsessively thinking. It stops me from participating in IFS because IFS is so self-led and I just find myself questioning things all the time, less so in sessions but outside of them. And the concept of IFS and understanding the roots of trauma has become such an obsession in and of itself that I’m starting to wonder if it’s doing more harm than good for me right now. Even now I’m obsessing over whether or not what I’m saying is correct/valid or if I’m just making it up. It’s like I’m constantly gaslighting myself. And I keep adding to this out of thinking that I haven’t quite explained it right yet.
Even what I’ve written here doesn’t encapsulate the depth of obsessive introspection that I’m in. I literally do not find fulfilment in anything anymore and find some satisfaction only in things like journaling, therapy, self-help books, videos about it, and in thinking about it constantly. It’s like it’s the only thing my brain is interested in anymore.
While I’m not asking anyone if I have OCD or not, I’ll seek out a professional diagnosis for that, I am wondering desperately about what approach I might take for myself if it becomes apparent that it is OCD. I’ve NEVER heard of anything like this before and I don’t know how to break this cycle, and I don’t understand what the compulsion side of things would be for me if this was OCD. And now I’m thinking obsessively about trying to work out what my obsessions/compulsions might be! I’m trying to change things up by just observing my thoughts as what they are but even then I can become obsessive about wondering if the observation of thought is a thought and then observing that etc.
And if so, then someone who’s seen or experienced this PLEASE tell me I have hope to be different, to be able to live life and find fulfilment again. It’s like I’m in an infinitely deep hole and can’t find my way out. If there is ANY advice that anyone can give about this, then I’ll take it.
submitted by foxermate to OCD [link] [comments]
In order for this to make sense, I’ll give my full story so far in this battle:
First thing to note is that after some traumatic emotional abuse experiences at a young age at school from a teacher, I developed what at the time looked like extreme health anxiety. While I was so young that I can’t consciously go back and remember how it felt, I know and have been told that I was generally extremely anxious about health-related stuff, and the most extreme of these was that I thought there was/might poison in my food because I had read about a poisonous frog, and had concluded that there was a slim chance that somehow the poison from the frog could end up in my food somehow, and this led me to not eating and becoming malnourished for a short time, but this changed because my parents locked me in a room until I agreed to eat as an extreme measure once I was becoming dangerously underweight. Just wanted to write that in case it’s relevant, but my more recent experiences are what’s most important.
The first time I EVER noticed obsessive thoughts was when I first tripped acid (note that I absolutely do not do this anymore lmao), and the obsessive thoughts were about me being a sociopath. It was like “am I a sociopath? I’m always so in my head and overthinking things and wondering what the right way to do things is and I don’t know what I actually feel like doing?
Anyway, that trip ended and I kind of just let it be for a little less than a year. Then I entered a romantic relationship. This was also the first ever relationship in my life where I felt like I could fully trust the other person with absolutely anything. But about a month in, I started to notice that I was really getting in my head about whether I loved her or not, whether I was just faking it, wondering who I really was and am I just some sort of autopilot chameleon. I would overthink so much every time there was vulnerability cause I had thoughts like I was either unequipped to deal with her vulnerability, or like I wasn’t capable of it and that made me defective. This led me to IFS therapy focused on trauma. While I have no doubt there are things to be found there, and I do see value in that work, I’m starting to wonder if it’s doing more harm than good as I’ll soon explain.
Fast forward a year later and ive had a lot of shit go down at once, had to leave family home abruptly, relationship is being strained by my mental health. I still suffer from health anxiety and get fixated on things like my pulse/breathing and feeling like my heart is going to stop/like I can’t get enough air in. After experiencing practically constant panic level anxiety for 3 days straight while on a tour (im a musician), I had a full nervous breakdown and ended up in hospital. At the time, it was like I was worried about literally anything making me anxious, which of course made me anxious. I was taking posters off of my walls because I couldn’t stop thinking “what if I don’t really actually like these posters and they’re just there cause I feel like they should be and I’m just doing what I think I’m supposed to instead of what I want, what do I want…?” Etc.
That was 2 months ago. The hospital stay was a constantly terrifying experience of being fixated on my heart and worrying about it being too high, which of course made it so. I got out of hospital, briefly got better and had a couple weeks where everything honestly seemed fine and then fell straight back in following a panic attack while out with a friend. Since then things have been up and down but generally pretty constant. I had to break up with my girlfriend because my mental health was putting too much strain on her, and my constant being in my head around her thinking “am I actually being genuine, or am I just making up what I think I’m supposed to be doing” was also worsening my own struggle.
Upon leaving her, I fully committed to healing and at that time was fully convinced I was dealing with trauma which was causing me to bury emotions and feel inadequate. I became OBSESSED with it. Obsessed with identifying emotions, understanding why they were there, and trying to link things back to this aspect or that aspect of trauma. That was 4 weeks ago, and I’m reaching a really horrible point. I’m at a point now where I’m obsessively thinking about EVERYTHING in an existential kind of way, trying to “work out” my brain. It’s really difficult to describe, but to give a couple glimpses, even as I write this I’m wondering “am I making this up?” And my obsessions become “meta” in a sense, where I’ll start obsessing over understanding/working out the obsessions, and then doing that again and again, like infinite layers of obsession.
I feel trapped by these obsessions, because they completely rob me of my ability to feel definitive about literally anything. My mind has gotten so good at questioning even the most mundane of things that I can’t go a minute without questioning my actions/feelings/obsessively thinking. It stops me from participating in IFS because IFS is so self-led and I just find myself questioning things all the time, less so in sessions but outside of them. And the concept of IFS and understanding the roots of trauma has become such an obsession in and of itself that I’m starting to wonder if it’s doing more harm than good for me right now. Even now I’m obsessing over whether or not what I’m saying is correct/valid or if I’m just making it up. It’s like I’m constantly gaslighting myself. And I keep adding to this out of thinking that I haven’t quite explained it right yet.
Even what I’ve written here doesn’t encapsulate the depth of obsessive introspection that I’m in. I literally do not find fulfilment in anything anymore and find some satisfaction only in things like journaling, therapy, self-help books, videos about it, and in thinking about it constantly. It’s like it’s the only thing my brain is interested in anymore.
While I’m not asking anyone if I have OCD or not, I’ll seek out a professional diagnosis for that, I am wondering desperately about what approach I might take for myself if it becomes apparent that it is OCD. I’ve NEVER heard of anything like this before and I don’t know how to break this cycle, and I don’t understand what the compulsion side of things would be for me if this was OCD. And now I’m thinking obsessively about trying to work out what my obsessions/compulsions might be! I’m trying to change things up by just observing my thoughts as what they are but even then I can become obsessive about wondering if the observation of thought is a thought and then observing that etc.
And if so, then someone who’s seen or experienced this PLEASE tell me I have hope to be different, to be able to live life and find fulfilment again. It’s like I’m in an infinitely deep hole and can’t find my way out. If there is ANY advice that anyone can give about this, then I’ll take it.
2024.05.19 15:39 marlennok Presale Next Week YeeHaw SPL-404 Hybrid DeFi NFTs + $YEEHAW tokens combined Telegram crypto games soon Team is cooking
YeeHaw is a Hybrid DeFi (SPL-404) project on Solana, bringing NFT and Memecoin communities together.
Website: https://linktr.ee/theyeehaw
What is the YeeHaw, and what makes it unique?
YeeHaw is a Hybrid DeFi (SPL-404) project on Solana, bringing together the NFT and Memecoin communities. Furthermore, we're enhancing our meme-vibes project with a crypto gaming platform that will distinguish us from other SPL-404 projects lacking utility.
What is Hybrid DeFi?
Hybrid DeFi is the concept of combining NFTs and tokens together under a shared tokenomics structure. It is also referred to as NFT + token, or as hybrids.
What is SPL-404?
SPL-404 is a new Hybrid DeFi protocol on Solana that revolutionizes NFTs by adding a new layer of liquidity, distribution, and gamification.
What are the benefits of Hybrid DeFi?
submitted by marlennok to CryptoMoonShots [link] [comments]
Website: https://linktr.ee/theyeehaw
What is the YeeHaw, and what makes it unique?
YeeHaw is a Hybrid DeFi (SPL-404) project on Solana, bringing together the NFT and Memecoin communities. Furthermore, we're enhancing our meme-vibes project with a crypto gaming platform that will distinguish us from other SPL-404 projects lacking utility.
What is Hybrid DeFi?
Hybrid DeFi is the concept of combining NFTs and tokens together under a shared tokenomics structure. It is also referred to as NFT + token, or as hybrids.
What is SPL-404?
SPL-404 is a new Hybrid DeFi protocol on Solana that revolutionizes NFTs by adding a new layer of liquidity, distribution, and gamification.
What are the benefits of Hybrid DeFi?
- YeeHaw NFTs will be more liquid, given the ease of entry and higher volume on the token side.
- We aim to appeal to a much larger and broader audience, particularly those interested in memecoins.
- We intend to reduce the barriers to entry for our project.
- This will allow YeeHaw NFTs to be tradable on both DEXs and NFT marketplaces.
2024.05.19 15:39 marlennok Presale Next Week YeeHaw SPL-404 Hybrid DeFi NFTs + $YEEHAW tokens combined Telegram crypto games soon Team is cooking
YeeHaw is a Hybrid DeFi (SPL-404) project on Solana, bringing NFT and Memecoin communities together.
Website: https://linktr.ee/theyeehaw
What is the YeeHaw, and what makes it unique?
YeeHaw is a Hybrid DeFi (SPL-404) project on Solana, bringing together the NFT and Memecoin communities. Furthermore, we're enhancing our meme-vibes project with a crypto gaming platform that will distinguish us from other SPL-404 projects lacking utility.
What is Hybrid DeFi?
Hybrid DeFi is the concept of combining NFTs and tokens together under a shared tokenomics structure. It is also referred to as NFT + token, or as hybrids.
What is SPL-404?
SPL-404 is a new Hybrid DeFi protocol on Solana that revolutionizes NFTs by adding a new layer of liquidity, distribution, and gamification.
What are the benefits of Hybrid DeFi?
submitted by marlennok to shitcoinmoonshots [link] [comments]
Website: https://linktr.ee/theyeehaw
What is the YeeHaw, and what makes it unique?
YeeHaw is a Hybrid DeFi (SPL-404) project on Solana, bringing together the NFT and Memecoin communities. Furthermore, we're enhancing our meme-vibes project with a crypto gaming platform that will distinguish us from other SPL-404 projects lacking utility.
What is Hybrid DeFi?
Hybrid DeFi is the concept of combining NFTs and tokens together under a shared tokenomics structure. It is also referred to as NFT + token, or as hybrids.
What is SPL-404?
SPL-404 is a new Hybrid DeFi protocol on Solana that revolutionizes NFTs by adding a new layer of liquidity, distribution, and gamification.
What are the benefits of Hybrid DeFi?
- YeeHaw NFTs will be more liquid, given the ease of entry and higher volume on the token side.
- We aim to appeal to a much larger and broader audience, particularly those interested in memecoins.
- We intend to reduce the barriers to entry for our project.
- This will allow YeeHaw NFTs to be tradable on both DEXs and NFT marketplaces.
2024.05.19 15:39 marlennok Presale Next Week YeeHaw SPL-404 Hybrid DeFi NFTs + $YEEHAW tokens combined Telegram crypto games soon Team is cooking
YeeHaw is a Hybrid DeFi (SPL-404) project on Solana, bringing NFT and Memecoin communities together.
Website: https://linktr.ee/theyeehaw
What is the YeeHaw, and what makes it unique?
YeeHaw is a Hybrid DeFi (SPL-404) project on Solana, bringing together the NFT and Memecoin communities. Furthermore, we're enhancing our meme-vibes project with a crypto gaming platform that will distinguish us from other SPL-404 projects lacking utility.
What is Hybrid DeFi?
Hybrid DeFi is the concept of combining NFTs and tokens together under a shared tokenomics structure. It is also referred to as NFT + token, or as hybrids.
What is SPL-404?
SPL-404 is a new Hybrid DeFi protocol on Solana that revolutionizes NFTs by adding a new layer of liquidity, distribution, and gamification.
What are the benefits of Hybrid DeFi?
submitted by marlennok to SolanaMemeCoins [link] [comments]
Website: https://linktr.ee/theyeehaw
What is the YeeHaw, and what makes it unique?
YeeHaw is a Hybrid DeFi (SPL-404) project on Solana, bringing together the NFT and Memecoin communities. Furthermore, we're enhancing our meme-vibes project with a crypto gaming platform that will distinguish us from other SPL-404 projects lacking utility.
What is Hybrid DeFi?
Hybrid DeFi is the concept of combining NFTs and tokens together under a shared tokenomics structure. It is also referred to as NFT + token, or as hybrids.
What is SPL-404?
SPL-404 is a new Hybrid DeFi protocol on Solana that revolutionizes NFTs by adding a new layer of liquidity, distribution, and gamification.
What are the benefits of Hybrid DeFi?
- YeeHaw NFTs will be more liquid, given the ease of entry and higher volume on the token side.
- We aim to appeal to a much larger and broader audience, particularly those interested in memecoins.
- We intend to reduce the barriers to entry for our project.
- This will allow YeeHaw NFTs to be tradable on both DEXs and NFT marketplaces.
2024.05.19 15:36 JustAnotherElsen Be real with me; is there any way to get the front of the hair more bang-like similar to Heather Mason’s hairstyle with this tlc doll? Or should I start looking for a new wig now
 | submitted by JustAnotherElsen to americangirl [link] [comments] |
2024.05.19 15:32 SignGuy77 Slaying the Saturday Dragon at [Canada’s Wonderland] (05/18/2024)
![Slaying the Saturday Dragon at [Canada’s Wonderland] (05/18/2024)](https://b.thumbs.redditmedia.com/a3SwA3Vw8vAnZMmWX6ydQaffYMI0KzvUtXZ_s1u3GYw.jpg "Slaying the Saturday Dragon at [Canada’s Wonderland] (05/18/2024)") | The average ignorer of my overly verbose trip reports is likely aware that I enjoy my home park in small doses, usually aided and abetted by the summer weekend early entry schedule. But once in a blue while, say, on the occasion of my enthusiast son’s fifteenth birthday, we decide to take a more “normal” approach. On this Victoria Day long weekend we would spend a full day in the park: my son in the company of his high school buddies, and me doing my own thing for reddit coaster science. submitted by SignGuy77 to rollercoasters [link] [comments] TL;DR: getting on all major coasters at Wonderland on a Saturday is possible without fast lane, but it will require a whole day, minimal interruptions, and virtually no re-rides except maybe for rope drop time. After setting the teenagers up with their all day food and drink wristbands and sending them on their way, I lined up for Leviathan. I entered the queue at 10:45 and got off my front row ride exactly sixty minutes later. The experience was not entirely foreign to me - I’ve waited upwards of an hour for Levi before, and even as someone who is approaching 200 laps on our hometown giga I must say it is still very much worth the wait. The ops were great to begin with, then sluggish for a while, and then decent again. Fast lane was not a huge factor this early either (compare with my son’s experience at end of day). And the ride was already nicely warmed up. The first drop and the entire first half literally blew me away, face-wise. My second order of solo business was to try and work the Bat single rider line to my advantage. This has worked beautifully a few times in the past, but this year the ol’ boomerang has been very temperamental. And it remained consistently inconsistent on this day, breaking down about ten minutes into my wait. Having been thwarted twice this season already, I decided to sink the next long while into watching the repairs. This was made more pleasant chatting to another rider who originally came to Canada from Finland and told me some stories about his years working at PowerPark. Eventually though, even this gentleman decided to cut his lost time, and I was left alone in the queue. Long story short, it took about an hour for Bat to get its medicine (mechanic told me it was a faulty air valve or some such on the second half of the track), but I did get my first ride of the season. The backwards loop was kind to me, and the cobra roll had minimal bang. Lunch time loomed, and keeping with the GP theme, I decided to join son’s crew at the new-for-last-season Lazy Bear Lodge. I eat at the park maybe two times a year (and one of those is always a funnel cake) so this was my first experience at the new restaurant. I’m not going to say it’s the best food ever, but the pulled pork was nice, the establishment very cozy, and the lines moved fast. In fact, in stark contrast to the ride queues, most of the food lines today looked short and moving well. Parting ways with the kid, I passed WindSeeker with its passengers stuck near the top and headed for Behemoth. The two middle switchbacks of the extended queue were not being used (they would open shortly after I passed through there), but our venerable hyper made me wait a solid 100 minutes for a single back row lap. Love me some Behemoth airtime, but not really worth it outside of a first ever ride. The crew was doing their best, and a steady surge of fast lane guests definitely made the wait a lot longer. But I did it for you, Reddit! After a forty minute queue to get Flight Deck done, my next conquest was a fifty minute Vortex wait, complete with the extended queue and line cutting teens (here hold my drink! Oops!), concluding with an intense back row lap (my 100th on the Arrow beauty, as it turned out). Then I headed back to Medieval Faire where my son’s pals were finally ready to brave Leviathan (first ever ride for two out of the three friends). I waved to them at the start of their journey into the bowels of the queue, and proceeded to ride other attractions in the area. By the time I saw the birthday boy’s hat at the top of the station stairs, I had already done Drop Tower (30 minutes) Wilde Knightmares (30 minutes), Wilde Beast (15 minutes, because who says let’s ride Wilde Beast at the end of day?) and Viking’s Rage (10 minutes, and the new drive tire makes it feel a lot less free-swinging). I waited another twenty minutes or so outside the Levi station, watching the swollen fast lane side of the stairs and the crew pumping out train after train steadily. Finally after a two hour wait the boys got their ride, and the verdict from the first timers was unanimously positive. The teenagers had also done Yukon Striker earlier on, which took 70 minutes. So altogether, the three B&M’s took roughly 4.5 hours of the day to get a single ride on each. A supper at King’s Feast across from Wilde Beast was had, to get the money’s worth out of the all day meal plan, and the fellas called it a day. Twelve solid hours at the home park, more than triple our enthusiast average. Consider it good dry land training for Universal Studios later this summer. |
2024.05.19 15:31 Danilectric New vertical crease and incision pulling
Hello! Just wanted to ask if any of you have experienced something similar! I am 9dpo.
submitted by Danilectric to tummytucksurgery [link] [comments]
- I had an ETT so my scar ends all the way over on my side. But dang! It hurts and feels like it's pulling. It feels relief when I take my binder off to shower. Is this just a normal part of healing? Am I pulling my binder too tight? Idk.
- My belly button was looking so cute and everything was nice and flat, now suddenly I have this little vertical crease above and below my belly button. It's not cute. I noticed this last night. This also seemed to mostly flatten out during shower time, but had returned by this morning when I took a peek.anyone else have a crease? Did it go away when you were done with compression?
2024.05.19 15:20 oh_holy_cannoli Blurb feedback?
Hi! I'm hoping for some feedback on my blurb for my debut novel. It is in final edits right now and I'll be looking to start ARC reviews soon. It will be first in a series.
Title: The Last Thing She Wants
*******************
Sometimes the last thing you want may be the one thing you need.
Ellie Branson learned this lesson with a bang.
In this small-town spicy romantic comedy, two friends by fate fall hard just as one swore off love…at least for a little.
Ellie Branson had had it. Starting over, she decided it was about time to focus on herself. That was, until the cute guy across the hall came crashing into her life. Oh, and did she mention he also walked in on her ex cheating on her? On a journey of self-discovery, Ellie learns who she is, and most importantly, what she needs.
Theo Emerson, the resident hottie professor at Chestnut Hills Community College, just wanted to help. Instead, he walked in on a romp in the apartment package room…at least that meant his crush was single now. The only problem was that she wanted nothing to do with his heart-on-a-plater ways.
Fate pushes boundaries and they find themselves in each other’s worlds once again when Ellie is assigned a new project at the local community college. Her partner? Professor Emerson, himself.
With friends, music, a little bit of frisky fun, and help from the Speedwalking Gang, Theo and Ellie navigate what they mean to each other.
You will swoon and sweat, finding here a happy ending with humor, heart, and plenty of spicy, steamy, heat.
submitted by oh_holy_cannoli to romanceauthors [link] [comments]
Title: The Last Thing She Wants
*******************
Sometimes the last thing you want may be the one thing you need.
Ellie Branson learned this lesson with a bang.
In this small-town spicy romantic comedy, two friends by fate fall hard just as one swore off love…at least for a little.
Ellie Branson had had it. Starting over, she decided it was about time to focus on herself. That was, until the cute guy across the hall came crashing into her life. Oh, and did she mention he also walked in on her ex cheating on her? On a journey of self-discovery, Ellie learns who she is, and most importantly, what she needs.
Theo Emerson, the resident hottie professor at Chestnut Hills Community College, just wanted to help. Instead, he walked in on a romp in the apartment package room…at least that meant his crush was single now. The only problem was that she wanted nothing to do with his heart-on-a-plater ways.
Fate pushes boundaries and they find themselves in each other’s worlds once again when Ellie is assigned a new project at the local community college. Her partner? Professor Emerson, himself.
With friends, music, a little bit of frisky fun, and help from the Speedwalking Gang, Theo and Ellie navigate what they mean to each other.
You will swoon and sweat, finding here a happy ending with humor, heart, and plenty of spicy, steamy, heat.
2024.05.19 15:18 Proud_Serve_4416 coworker of mine recently started touching me
So me (18M) started to see recent advances from a girl (22F) in our office. Just to let you know, I’m completely comfortable with people touching me, so it is completely fine.
Anyways, recently she started to lean more into me as we talk. We work together, so as we work on 1 screen, she starts leaning into me a little bit. Fast forward a week or 2, she starts touching me on the leg lightly with her hands. This continues for the rest of the semester (we work in a college). Then randomly in the middle of the semester after her 22nd birthday, she started asking for hugs from me, saying “you look really cute, come give me a hug 🤗”. The hugs were a rare thing, but they still happened (maybe every 1-2 weeks). Almost everyday after that, she would always call me cute and interact with me at least once everyday. As a side note, she would always refer to me as her “little brother” and that’s why I’m so “cute”, but I’m not sure if I should really buy into that.
She would also share different assignments for classes right as I ask, but she doesn’t like sharing with some other people, kinda putting me in a “special category”.
I also owe her some food for the assignments she gave me, so every once in a while, she would ask me to buy her food, but I wouldn’t do it.
People would tell me to make a move on her, but I respect girls too much and I couldn’t since she’s a muslim girl and she’s older than me.
Do any of these mean anything?
edit: she would also occasionally come and give me hugs from the back and I would do the same to her
edit 2: I was 17 for the whole semester until the last week of the sem, so that could potentially be a reason she calls me her little brother, but idk
submitted by Proud_Serve_4416 to bodylanguage [link] [comments]
Anyways, recently she started to lean more into me as we talk. We work together, so as we work on 1 screen, she starts leaning into me a little bit. Fast forward a week or 2, she starts touching me on the leg lightly with her hands. This continues for the rest of the semester (we work in a college). Then randomly in the middle of the semester after her 22nd birthday, she started asking for hugs from me, saying “you look really cute, come give me a hug 🤗”. The hugs were a rare thing, but they still happened (maybe every 1-2 weeks). Almost everyday after that, she would always call me cute and interact with me at least once everyday. As a side note, she would always refer to me as her “little brother” and that’s why I’m so “cute”, but I’m not sure if I should really buy into that.
She would also share different assignments for classes right as I ask, but she doesn’t like sharing with some other people, kinda putting me in a “special category”.
I also owe her some food for the assignments she gave me, so every once in a while, she would ask me to buy her food, but I wouldn’t do it.
People would tell me to make a move on her, but I respect girls too much and I couldn’t since she’s a muslim girl and she’s older than me.
Do any of these mean anything?
edit: she would also occasionally come and give me hugs from the back and I would do the same to her
edit 2: I was 17 for the whole semester until the last week of the sem, so that could potentially be a reason she calls me her little brother, but idk