Initial tattoo

Do you have any? Do you like them on guys? Would you ever get one?
It's funny, I used to be deadset on getting tatted when I was younger. I wanted to be total patchwork, everything covered. I loved Mei Pang's look! (still do tbh). But as I grow up I find myself getting more turned off by tattoos. I once had a dream I had a huge back piece, it wasn't badly done, but I woke up and was like hell no I'll never get a tattoo. I think the idea of the permanence irks me, and I think I was so drawn to Mei's tattoos because they're symmetrical. One alone, if not minimal, looks out of place to me
I am happy my mind's changed, I look back to my old tattoo ideas and good lord. Granted I thought of them when I was like 14 but still, if I got some of this stuff tatted on me I swear that patch of skin would be cut off by now lol
Some examples are (keep in mind I was ~14): holly (??), "outlaw" (lol okay cowboy..), playing cards (or just an ace), a reticle (??? like why), John 15:13 (I have zero idea why I thought this verse was applicable to myself? not cringe just weird), the american idiot logo (I wanted this SO BAD), JOS logo (the middle row on the right) and ascii art. Keep in mind those are the relatively less embarrassing examples. I was such an edgelord such a weirdo ... I should delete that entire note lol. But that was actually funny to look back on. Just how and why
That being said, I am sort of thinking of getting a small quote tatted on my back, ~below a shoulder blade. Only a few words and not in a corny font. Unsure what quote tho, I love Nayyirah Waheed's poetry, I may do something from her idk. I want something easily hidden, I would also be open to getting one on the nape of my neck. Back when I was with this guy I dreamt of getting a tattoo of his initial with a heart around it on like the spot behind the ear lol, I wouldn't be opposed to something there.

43 m Philadelphia area, looking for an honest and intelligent female friend that is close by that might enjoy getting together, chatting, going places. I'm quiet initially, funny and interested in learning/ discussing new topics. If interested please know, I am divorcing, love dogs, kind of nerdy and introverted, tattooed and not hard to look at really. I have manners and do care about others. I'm putting this under friends because I'm cool with either just remaining friends or starting as such. Prefer white, latina or Asian as traditionally that's who I have got along with best. Open to any age but for the sake of being age appropriate 30 and over? If you are interested please reach out. Thank you

Just another fun little story idea I had. I am still working on Humans are the violent ones but I like to bounce around and experiment with ideas to see what I really like. I also suck at writing more casual stories, as they give me severe writer's block as I try to map out how to make a scene feel genuine in my head, but I promise I'll update that soon. If you like this story and want to see more, then like and comment. I'll gladly continue this series as well.
Start of Personal Log
Humans don't like being told what to do. They don't like being commanded, put in their place, or snubbed. It was an inexorable, inalienable trait of humans, at least any noteable humans, to go against any authority that they believed was against their interests.
Humanity would not fit amongst the stars. Few ever did. It was a trait of most successful species to be willful, ambitious, and to desire more. But once they reached the stars the new (and simultaneously very old) pecking order either quashed any spirit such species had or simply eradicated them. Countless tomb worlds and diaspora served as painful reminders of what became of the nails that chose to stick out. The hammer of order would always strike. There could be no compromise, the very soul of the authority that held the Jurisdiction together relied on a show of unmatched power, or at least the illusion of item.
In reality, the Jurisdiction was an old, fat, and lazy beast. It filled its belly on the corpses of empires far and wide, and sated its bloodlust on the shattered dreams of hopeful cubs. It had every right to, for none could challenge it: there were no new frontiers to explore, nor were there any other enemies to conquer. The Milky Way, as humans had so strangely dubbed our cradle galaxy, as well as Andromeda, had long since been warred over and settled for millennia before humanity had arrived, bright-eyed and with familiar yet otherwise foolish dreams of cooperation and prosperity. The Jurisdiction did not cooperate, nor did it ensure prosperity. Oh, it claimed it did, but in reality it simply took. The rest was just the peace that came with not being the direct target of the biggest fish in the pond. The humans didn't like that, but they had no choice.
Slavery was a common tribute. The Jurisdiction had no use for other resources: it simply took. No, it wanted those who could facilitate that unequal exchange, those raised in a world where the only morality was the one set by your lord. The Jurisdiction was held together by expectations, obligations, and dury more than any kind of shared dream, so when you were ordered to take you did so without question. Humanity was new: they had no niche or value that set them apart, but they had a penchant for killing and taking, so the Jurisdiction gave them a taste of how the galaxy worked. They killed and they took. The humans didn't like that, but what choice did they have?
Humans were strange. They learned, but not in the way most species learned. Most species learned to adapt in a passive way, to adhere to the world around them. They flowed like water, moving past and around obstacles and confirming to the boxes they were assigned too. Humans didn't confirm, nor did they adapt: they made their circumstances fit their desires. They would not move around obstacles, but rather smash through them, and they refused to stay in one box for too long. The Jurisdiction merely saw them as a particularly loud nuisance, but those who faced their wrath knew better.
It is said that when a beast seeks to make an example, it shall humble its rival by killing it's cubs. Children were one of those universal constants that brought entire communities together: the Sok’klar saw their hatchlings as gifts, shaped by the fruitful currents of the universe in perfect harmony. The Yarrack saw each and every newborn whelp as an uncut gemstone, ready to be shaped into something magical. Humanity oftentimes referred to their offspring as angels, or spirits of unbridled good sent by the gods themselves. Children were seen by most of the galaxy as gifts.
The Jurisdiction saw them as a lever to inflict suffering. It had become quite effective at enacting psychological punishments on those that stood up and spoke out. You dare to disobey? You believe you can speak out? Your gifts shall be taken from you, and you shall be without joy.
Humans didn't like this, but the Jurisdiction would have their pound of flesh, and humankind would kneel. And they did. But humans were patient creatures: most species who retained that trait of willful spit also lacked patience.
I had long since become desensitized to the Jurisdiction’s actions: it was simply how the universe worked now, as if it were a constant akin to gravity. Cruelty was the unspoken rule of this seemingly unending age, where our lives never appeared to move forward or backwards, only lay dormant. The Jurisdiction had been the unyielding authority that ruled the galaxy for thousands of years, venerable yet feared all the same.
And for the longest time I was just another cog in its wheel. My name is Kalnuracht Sedjuur-Noumar VII, and was the scion of the noble house Sedjuur-Noumar. I was born into what most would describe as veiled apathy, living a life that could be attributed to the privileged class of feared scribes that enacted the will of those above. I was an administrator and nothing more. And now I am doomed to be far less than that in the eyes of my former constituents within the endless administration. I am the only scion, as is tradition, and without an heir I am the last of my house, our name to be scrubbed from the records, worthless, meaningless, and forgotten.
I am merely Kalnuracht, nothing else and nothing more. I have seen from their eyes, the eyes of the downtrodden, and it makes my crimes of association with the Jurisdiction feel all the more damning on my worthless soul. I am worthless to the world, and this is my story.
End Personal Log #1
Start of Neural Lace Narrative Log #1
They came from the black like carrion birds in the night, encircling our convoy as if it were a dying animal ready to be picked clean without remorse. There was no warning, no list of demands sent out as civilized peoples did, nor was there either any requirement for unconditional surrender nor chance to parlay, as was done so under letter of marque: this was an unmistakable call for violence and nothing else. They sought to reduce us to slag and scavenge the rest.
So, as one would expect, the entire bridge of the ship was nearing a panicked state. This was not the actions of those practicing civility, but rather the common behaviors of despoiling barbarians, the kind that tore their way through the dark reaches of the galaxy as if they owned it.
“Wayfinder, what do your probes see?” Shouted the ship’s sovereign. He was an older Kar’Rowmach, an amphibious cephalopod species with a venerable history within the Jurisdiction going back thousands of years. Normally one such as him would be above me if it weren't for the fact that I was under the authority of the Jurisdiction’s seal of office. He didn't like me very much, but most of his kind shared the same sentiment.
“All dark, honorable Sovereign: the sensor arrays are wailing but the feedback we're reviewing is beyond incomprehensible,” the wayfinder replied with a certain restrained temper in his voice. The Sok'klar wayfinder swayed gently, his tentacled limbs grasping different metallo-liquid braille output arrays, the liquid gallium flexing and reshaping unnaturally to allow him to to take in multiple different sources of sensory output at once, with the primary navigation computer plugged into the cybernetics surrounding his opaque, gelatinous head and plugging directly into his tube-shaped brain.
The Sovereign cursed in Loskat and pointed to his bridge crew while I simply sat in the back, near the Sovereign’s symbolic throne. “Prepare countermeasures and spool up the warp drive, we cannot allow the amanuensis to be taken! He carries sensitive information that only he can translate and transcribe!”
As the bridge crew nodded and began fiddling with their own systems, I preened my feathered hide anxiously. I wasn't a fighter: us nobles of the cloth were the educated minority above all else, not those who waged war or partook in hard labor. Special cybernetics in my brain allowed me to translate triple-encoded messages that usually took a ducal signet codekey or above to parse, but even without that I was a skilled mathematician and logician. I had terabytes worth of knowledge stored within the hardware installed in my head, all well protected of course, but if I were to die it would still be a waste. I could only imagine the damage any malcontenders could do with it if they were able to get their filthy hands on me.
Suddenly, the ship rocked, and the gallium overhead display began to form crescendos like I'd never seen before. “Sovereign, decks A-3 through C-12 are venting atmosphere and our coolant systems have been obliterated,” the Wayfinder spoke in an almost serene voice, as if he was completely unconcerned by current events. I knew they were simply incapable of tonal displays, but it was unnerving nonetheless. “Once we jump, we will not be able to risk another until the vacuum of the void can reduce temperatures to acceptable levels within the plasma capacitors.”
“Damn them,” the armored nautiloid hissed, his barbed feelers coiling in frustration, “May the currents take them. What are our options? what can we see? This fleet cannot fall to the void today, not with such vital cargo.” My hackles rose lightly at the Kar’Rowmach referred to me as some object rather than an esteemed amanuensis of the Jurisdiction, but I bit my forked tongue. Now was not the time to squabble with the sovereign over who was what and what titles I deserved, not while he was so desperately attempting to keep what semblance of order within his fleet that he had left.
I could not blame the crew for being panicked either: wars were practically mythologized now, having been long since rendered obsolete with the rise of the Jurisdiction, and that felt like an eternity ago. Now, either being levied into or joining a ducal naval force was simply another career, more akin to serving as an officer of the law rather than a fully fledged soldier. Minimal training was required, most of it being the technicals of one's duty rather than any kind of combat conditioning, so expecting a fleet to actually be prepared for a combat scenario in a universe where peace was the norm was laughable.
“We are practically blind, Sovereign,” stated the Sok'klar Wayfinder, “our probes are offline, and shipboard graviton displacement sensory arrays have been rendered unreliable at best.”
“What about the particle emission array? Has there been a spike in radioactivity where we were hit?”
The Wayfinder seemed to think for a second, his gelatinous form flexing and morphing a bit before answering. “Affirmative, a jump from negligible to forty billion becquerels along decks A through E-5 on our starboard side.”
“Torpedoes…” the Sovereign hissed, stroking his barbed feelers, “Human Torpedoes. Only those primitives would rely on crude nuclear warheads.” He then turned to his militant leaders on the ship. “Noddos, Rel’ads: organize your phalanxes and prepare to repel boarders. We are bound to be assailed by those rancorous primates, and I want their skulls piled at my feet if they dare set foot on our ship.”
“Your wish is our command, Sovereign,” the two militant commanders spoke as one. Noddos, a large bipedal with multiple sets of curved spines running down his back, a pair of graceful horns sprouting from his head, and multiple rows of sharp teeth in his snout, bowed first, followed by Rel’ads, a marsupial with long saberteeth and thick fur. They both must have been fierce warriors in their own right to each lead a phalanx. They wore thick, semi-powered armor and held dueling polearms alongside their usual plasma casters, and seemed completely unfazed by the situation we were in. As they stomped out of the brightly lit bridge, I let out a quiet squawk of discontentment. “Sovereign, why haven't we jumped again? We are wasting precious time.”
“I am working on it, you spineless beaurocrat!” He warbled back, his feelers tensing in anger, “besides, it's not as if you're the one who will be spilling blood today, amanuensis, so flatten your wretched beak or I shall weld it shut with a plasma torch.
I was about to reply with something indignant, but the ship rocked again, this time causing the lights to flicker and the air to become… thick. The skin under my feathers began to blister, and I became lightheaded and confused. “Seal the damnable vents, initiate radiation scrubbers, and activate secondary life support!” Shouted the Sovereign, “Their nuclear weapons are rendering the ship inhospitable!”
I coughed up magenta blood accidentally, and I could feel more seeping from under my eyes. Some of the crew was in a similar position, but others were more resistant to radiation than I. The Sok'klar seemed completely at ease as he ran his tentacles across his morphic braille arrays before calmly announcing the ship’s status. “I've regained some control over our probes: ten, twelve, and seventeen are active and fully functional, the rest are either still malfunctioning or permanently inoperable. A rapid rise in localized radiation is also interfering with the detection of graviton displacement; we can't sense photon redirection, thus readings will remain inconclusive.
“Wayfinder, damn you, get me some kind of out here! We're easy prey until we can respond in kind!”
“Negative, something has gone awry with our processing hub, I am attempting to troubleshoot-”
And with that, the Wayfinder’s bulbous head exploded in a cascade of opaque lavender blood, covering the front half of the deck crew like a morbid art piece. Some of the crew screamed and shouted in terror before removing their cranial adaptors and choosing to interact with their displays manually. Others died just as quickly, unable to unplug in time as their brain stems fried or their blood boiled. It was a horrible way to go, having your insides neutralized by your own cybernetics, so I was glad I wasn't connected to the system.
“Cybernetic warfare! All systems are to be considered compromised, switch to manual settings or you'll be killed!”
The lights in the bridge flickered again, and the displays went haywire. The bridge crew, which obviously weren't acquainted with working without being hard-linked into the mainframe, moved at a much slower pace.
“Launch missile pods A through F and set to self-target after five hundred kilometers, then rely on their ballistic coordinates to begin firing broadsides! If we can't see the humans due to their meddling, we'll just have to feel them.” Shouted the Sovereign, “and got me a detailed report on the ship’s diagnostics readings. I need to know if this flagship is still capable of escaping or if we'll have to scuttle it and retreat on another.”
“Acknowledged, Sovereign, launching now,” affirmed another deck officer as he swiped across his own gallium output array. I could hear the dull thunk, thunk, thunk of missiles pushing out of their pods before racing off to their intended targets, then the mechanical whirring as the pods rotated to be reloaded by slaves in the lower decks. I was regaining my bearings as the many horrible sensations of being overwhelmed by radiation poisoning were beginning to subside, but I still felt as if I had been microwaved. The air was stale, the crew was horribly sick as well, and even the sovereign himself seemed to be on his last leg. I was beginning to believe that I might die here.
“Sovereign, a message from the lower decks,” shouted a communications officer, his chitin scraping against itself as he turned quickly, “they're requesting reinforcements, something about being overrun.”
“Impossible,” the Sovereign hissed out in a vain attempt to exude confidence, “We must outnumber the humans, they always go for bigger targets out of arrogance.”
“I've received reports that it's not just humans: the primates seem to make up only a third or so of the assailing force, along with some Phaeldaer and Vrex.”
The commander slammed his clawed hands down on his own output array in a fit of rage, obviously overwhelmed by the circumstances, “Then this wasn't just a typical assault, but something more sinister!” The nautiloid warbled, blood seeping from his shell as the full effects of the radiation took hold, “Get Rel’ads on the line, have him divert all spare lances to the lower decks or else we'll lose the only offensive capabilities we can use.”
“Rel'ads has gone dark, Sovereign, his vitals are critical.”
“Then either get me Rel'ads tail-leader or get me Noddos!” He screamed in rage, “don't give me this nonsense! If we don't pick it up we're all going to die, is that what you want?”
“No, Sovereign, I'm simply overwhelmed-”
“We're all overwhelmed! By the tides, I'm dying of radiation poisoning you nincompoop! Get me something I can work with!”
The officer didn't even acknowledge the Sovereign after that, simply turning back to his display. Eventually, the Sovereign was able to get Noddos on the line.
“Sovereign, two thirds of my phalanxes have been decimated by combat with the primitives and the radiation, the rest are in shambles. We must retreat and fortify elsewhere!”
“Then the ship is compromised! Rel'ads is unresponsive and the lower decks are swarming with intruders. We must evacuate the amanuensis to another ship.”
Just as the Sovereign spoke, I heard several gentle thumps rattle against the bridge’s door, and it made me uneasy. Some of the bridge crew seemed to feel the same, as they looked incredibly nervous and some even drew their sidearms. Just as the sovereign turned to give further orders, the door blew inward with a deafening explosion, followed by shouting and gunfire. Several of the bridge officers were dispatched quickly, brain matter and blood splattering against the delicate electronics. Others were shot in the legs, the torso, or in any other exotic yet non-vital body parts. The humans poured in, brandishing primitive ballistic firearms and jury-rigged energy weapons while wearing scavenged, legion-grade powered armor.
The Sovereign was the next to go, but he wasn't afforded an honorable death. He was shot along the arm with a particularly potent plasma caster, burning off his clawed hand and cauterizing the wound, the acrid smell of roasting chitin filling the already hot and cramped bridge. He fell back against his output array, the gallium reaching new highs and lows as more diagnostics and casualty reports were delivered, and he clutched his stump angrily. “I'll burn every last one of you in the foundries! I'll tie you to stakes, cover you in wax and set you alight! Your screams will be broadcasted all over the galaxy!”
One human warrior stomped up and slammed the butt of his rifle into the sovereign’s face, shattering his facial plates and causing blue blood to splatter across his section of the bridge. “Shut the fuck up, you mutant lobster,” the human said before dragging him by both antennae towards the center of the bridge and receiving a stained breeching axe from one of his comrades. “Emmanuel, start recording. We need proof.”
The other human nodded and pressed a button on his armor before lifting up his gun again. The rest of the humans fanned out, holding everyone else at gunpoint. I tried to get up and sneak out, but a human grabbed me by my neck and nearly wrung it out as he forced me to my knees and pointed a sidearm to my skull. “Get down, you piece of shit, before I blow your brains out too.”
“Damnable primate,” I hissed, but he bashed me in my skull with the base of his sidearm’s grip and sent me sprawling, making my already pounding headache worse. Another human shouted at him in a language I didn't recognize, but he sounded furious. The first brought me back up to my knees again, and I complies with a hiss and a groan, blood still leaking from my eyes and mouth and my world was spinning.
The Sovereign struggled, but he was weak from the radiation poisoning and he couldn't exactly resist on account of his lost arm. The human with the breaching ax kicked the Sovereign down and forced him to kneel before lifting up the breeching ax and splitting his chitinous head down the middle with one powerful swing, sending more blood and brains across the floor. “Execution confirmed, take his antennae just in case and we've got ourselves a bounty. Now all we need is that ugly cat’s teeth and the fat hedgehog-thing’s grimy spines and we'll be in business. Although, they do have skulls… we might as well just take their heads.”
The real horror of the situation dawned on me at that moment: they were going to kill us all, or maybe worse. They mentioned a bounty for the commanders, and multiple of the higher ranking ship officers were already dead, their brains splattered against the walls or their bodies torn apart by gunfire. I wasn't dead yet, but that didn't mean much since I wasn't an immediate threat.
“Alright, round them up and bring all the grunts to the hanger bay, then kill the rest,” the leader of the humans said in such a lackadaisical manner that his complete disregard for life almost made me sick… almost. I had seen worse from the Jurisdiction before, but usually that was from me delivering some kind of ordered judgment on a world that had sinned against order. I might have simply been the messenger, but I had seen many of the outcomes. “And make sure to collect whatever proof of bounties you can, we'll need to deliver them to the office to get cashed out. Don't let this be a repeat of last time where Juarez fucking forgot to take a few heads and it ended up cutting our profits in half, the fucking retard.”
Some of the humans chuckled at that as they dragged more of the senior officers away, out of the room and into the hall,where I heard gunshots. The rest of the bridge crew froze in place, different fear instincts kicking in. The remaining Sok'klar corralled together into what seemed to be a singular, semi-congealed mass as if to try and trick the humans into believing that they were much bigger and much more threatening than they actually were. The one Thei’chi on the bridge, an ensign who had clearly thought this would be a simple mission, bore her curved fangs at the humans and growled as they approached, her hackles completely vertical and her eyes dilated. They quickly muzzled and bound her before beating her over the head with a gun stock, sending her sprawling onto the ground. Many others simply cooperated, eyes wide and yet simultaneously empty, as if they couldn't quite process that the ship had been taken and the commanding officers were being executed as the rest were escorted to the hangar.
“Get the damn messenger down to the hanger as well, we need whatever data's in his ugly lizard head, then we can decide on what to do with him.”
I spat at him in spite, as if to try and seem brave, but it was clearly an empty gesture. “You won't get anything, primate! You couldn't possibly crack the encryption!”
The human holding me seemed to wind up for another swing, but the commanding officer simply held up his hand to stop my tormentor before strolling over to me. He knelt down and removed his helmet, revealing a beige-colored face covered in scars, wiry black hair cut down to the scalp, and multiple tattoos. “You're really fucking mouthy for a hostage,” he said before punching me across my beak faster than I could register. I heard a sharp crack as his fist connected, and my head spun again as the metallic taste of blood pooled into my mouth. “I'd advise you to shut up, but I'm sure you won't listen: you aristocratic types are so full of yourselves. Maybe I should have you flogged in the public square until your vocal chords give out once we rip those cybernetics from your head, huh? How's that sound?”
“It won't matter… it won't change anything… the Jurisdiction will hunt you down.”
“Maybe, but I doubt it will happen for some time: they really suck at doing anything that requires effort, even when they're mad enough. They just keep sending their rabid lapdogs to try and smoke us out, and they always end up full of holes,” the human officer said with a smirk, his yellowish-white teeth and green eyes sending shivers down my spine as he drew his knife. “They're just horrible at their job, you know? You've all gotten so lazy and incompetent after being able to just take what you want without resistance, and now that you've met people who are angry and crazy enough to fight back you act as if we're committing some grave injustice,” he placed the knife against my throat, the flat just underneath my now bent beak, “No, we just took a few pages out of your book, ‘cept we've got standards. No kids, for one…” he seemed to look off into the distance as his sneer deepened, “but it's more than that, we don't attack the defenseless in general and we still win against you all in fair fights.”
I went to say something else snarky, but he quickly grabbed my thin tongue with his fingers and yanked it out, blood from my mouth pulling to the floor as he held the blade of his knife against it. “No no, none of that. Say one more thing and I'll cut that rancid little tongue of yours out of your mouth and feed it to you,” he hissed at me, pressing the blade down just hard enough to draw blood. “Do you know what it's like to see a planet turn into a tomb?" he asked me, gritting his teeth, “Do you know what it's like to see everything you've ever known crumble to ash and glass, all the life and the green stripped away leaving nothing but bones? I do. I've seen it happen to countless worlds, and my grandfather always told me stories of how you bastards did it to Earth. He still prays in its direction five times a day, to Mecca, but he knows the Kaaba is gone now, or maybe it's still there, buried in the bones of those who sought refuge there.”
I didn't care for the human’s nonsensical beliefs, but I did care to correct him. “I've seen it before, and I'll see it again. And so will you, it's inevitable. The Jurisdiction will always have its judgment fulfilled, there is no alternative.”
“One day, I hope we can rectify that,” he said, then he sheathed his knife and slammed my head against the metal floor with enough force to nearly knock me out. As I lost consciousness, I could hear him speak. “Take him to the Chop Doc, and make sure the cybernetics don't get damaged: they're supposedly more valuable than any bounty on this ship.”
Warning: Severe radiation poisoning detected. Flush system immediately.
Warning: Neural Lace removal detected, chance of neurological damage high. Proceeded with caution.

F21 M30
I need help in ending this relationship but more in a mature matter where it doesn’t lead to me ghosting, blocking or whatever immature actions that doesn’t need to end in that way.
I don’t really consider this a relationship but the guy I’ve been talking too see a potential relationship with me long term when my initial intentions were to have fun and go on our separate ways. I have created several posts about this but I’ve deleted it out of feeling shameful.
Shameful for rejecting love that was handed to me the first time. Well not the first, but to meet someone who genuinely wants to be with me, form a future with me or added with the fact would bend his own values just to work with me hurts me a lot.
The only reason I’m asking for help about this is because I’ve thought I have set my standards and boundaries clear to the guy I’ve spoken too but I realize that I’ve entertained too much of hanging around with despite his clear obvious feelings he has for me and that I’m too much of a coward to be bluntly honest that I’m just not attracted to him and for that I don’t want to continue this relationship he is dreaming of.
At first I was willing to try slow baby steps in getting to know him but I just can’t do it. One, I’m not into age gap relationships. NEVER will. Despite being an adult myself I’m not attracted dating someone that’s older than me 8-10 years apart. my standards and expectations are high when it comes to adults. Plus I don’t like the fact that I’m with someone who would eventually lose their physical appearance once the years pass by. “Remaining youthful” for their interest doesn’t flatter me at all. I find it very unfair especially when I’ve accepted other attributes from him that I’m not into. I’m not into men that smokes or does drugs, men with facial hair, tattoos. The last one is quite petty in my part but he’s a white guy with Dreads. I hate it. It irritate my skin and I would rather see his natural hair than tolerate his matted hairstyle.
He’s genuinely a great person, he knows that. But honestly his immature moments annoys me sometimes. Speeding often, including sex whenever we chat, being inappropriate randomly out of the blue, one time he push me into almost falling onto his fishing poles, his jokes where he would playfully clown or mock me, he get so upset when it comes to us talking instead of listening to my POV, random hyperactive behavior; ugh, he literally act like a teenage boy.
Which is expected to happen in age gap relationships. Old people trying to remain youthful or having a “youthful” personality trait whatever. I’m not into that at all. I’m quite reserved most of the time. I have my playful childish moments here n there but like I say previously I’m not like that when I’m around adults. My expectation is high and seeing an adult acting like a child is a turn off for me. Having them act this way around me because I’m in my 20s doesn’t make it better.
Another note, he wouldn’t offer me some financial assistance for anything. I’m not saying anything that’s sugar baby related. He wants my vagina to be completely bald for sex whenever we get intimate. So I pretty much have to get a Brazilian wax whenever we have sex. The cost of it is $60 a visit. I’m not interested of doing that. Offering $60 a visit would be nice since I don’t even care to be consistent going to the wax Solon since I don’t have a job to visit the place every 3-4 weeks. But he set a standard that he is not obligated to help me with those minor inconveniences. Understandable, bills whatever. But I don’t see what value you bring besides sex and company. It can’t be a full relationship without the other.
Anyway, the guy is a great guy. He offer word of affirmation almost everyday to me, we only went on two dates the last date i paid the bill, he pretty much love the shit out of me but I just can’t see myself continuing this. I will admit that I had fall for him on some occasions whenever we hang out but once I return back home from hanging out with him I fall back into reality that I am not attracted to this man at all.
Till this day I still don’t know him simply because he’s not willing to offer anything new “relationship” wise. It’s just little things I have to pick up on and pretty much address to him that I don’t like.
One example is our conversation of having children. He has mention 4 times that he doesn’t want children but when I told him that is something I wanted for myself and would probably accept him as my boyfriend if he felt the same way, he felt offended.
As in, “convince me why I should have children” I shouldn’t have to convince shit for why you want kids. He clearly doesn’t want them but he’s putting up this front that he does just for me to stay with him.
If I’m being judgemental or too picky, PLEASE advise me or tell me what I’m doing wrong here. I’ve never been in a relationship before but I feel like it’s wrong for me to openly accept someone just for the sake of love. No. I need help with this crap. It is NOT easy. I’ve said multiple times to this guy that we aren’t compatible and HE STILL CANNOT GET THE HINT. someone assistance me.

He had waited...a day. He knew this would happen. She had given him rules to guide their relationship. His life. Rule one: do not initiate texts to her after his bi weekly sends. Rule 2: no touching himself without permission. A rule he admitted to her he broke 2 weeks ago
Now he waited. A deep yearning in his being. His cock hard in his pants. Him not touching For her to finally reach out to him. To command his next move. He kept checking his cell phone. She had his phone number. Every 5 minutes he checked. Took a short shower. A quick run to the market. Afraid to be gone long or out of service coverage.
A text finally came.
"Answer the door in 5 minutes. Be naked. Have your wallet ready".
Panicked thoughts flashed thru his head. Quickly throwing off his clothes. Running to the bedroom to grab his wallet and to the front door.
2 minutes 20 seconds later the doorbell rang. With fear, he opened it. Embarrased. Totally naked...but with a hard on, he opened the door.
Standing in front of him was a man. 6'1". Shaved head. Beard. Musculr arms full sleeve tattoos.
I'm Dave. Here to do your Prince Albert Piercing and the jewely.
Oh hell he thought....um.."come in was all he could say"
A text from his domme
Pay your piercer to his prefence. All the cash in your wallet or a blow job.
Send me $ 500 now. $500 when done.
Now.
Send and say, Thank you Goddess.
And he did.

Never gotten a tattoo before. Im finally proud to be who I am and not afraid to express myself. I love the song radio and national anthem by Lana del Rey. They both have like 10 different meanings for me and my perspective and how it’s changed as I’ve grown into who I am. So initially I was thinking the song title Radio, but I would much rather have a line on my left hand of something that maybe is a line in the song or just a word or couple words that embodies those themes. Of pure capitalist / greed / American Dream. Hopefully that makes sense. The beauty and also darkness of being a pure capitalist. Im from a third world country that was destroyed by America and I moved here and grew up chasing an American dream. There’s an oxymoronic kind of dark beauty about it. So I’d really love to embody this in a word or quote on my hand or wrist.

TLDR: Wife (32F) of 10 years cheated on me (34M) and got pregnant. She aborted and wants to get back with me. She has has contact a couple times with her ex in the past 6 months since they broke up for "closure". I'm not sure to believe her or not.
To be clear, I haven't been the best husband to her either. Since almost the first day of marriage I would get mad at her for minor things and yell at her or say things with an attitude sometimes, mostly without noticing. Unfortunately this went on for about 5-6 years. Within that time I was physically abusive to her a handful of times when I would lose my temper. Everytime I would would say that I was sorry and that I wouldn't do it again but it would continue. The whole time she swore to love me with her whole heart but I was slowly killing her love for me.
Finally on year 7 I attempted to hit her but she blocked me. At that moment she realized enough was enough. She swore to divorce me but I told her I wouldn't let her. She cried for about 3 months straight losing her mind because she could not comprehend how she could be over me and hate me even though she loved me so much. It was at that time that I realized my old internal methods of trying to stop me from abusing her would never work. It was then when I sought out therapy. It was only then when I gained the necessary emotional skills to control my emotions and not lose my temper that much and the physical abuse ceased completely. But it was too late.
A few months later I realized that she deserved for me to give her the divorce. It was the most loving thing to do. I told her I would agree to divorce her. But she never took me up on the offer and just blamed me for not initiating the process. I loved her so much that I also decided that if she would stay I would take all of her verbal abuse and scorn until one day she could forgive me because I felt I deserved it.
She would still explode on me for the smallest things but I would keep my calm as best as I could. Months later we went through with moving to a different city together and we bought a house in the new city. Something we had always been planing.
However before we left she told me she would start giving herself a chance with different men. So she started going out a lot and partying. As a matter of fact on year 6 she started being unfaithful and I caught her flirting over text with a bouncer she met. I cried for about two weeks straight. I tracked her phone and caught her outside the guys apartment talking with her along with her friend. She still didn't change her attitude. She stopped talking to the guy after I cussed him out. However between year 7-10 she had about 2 guys she had talked to romantically over phone and text but she never moved out. Always eventually breaking up with them and me having to deal with her sad moods.
Close to year 10 she started talking to a guy in the city we moved to when he reached out to her via social media. She was %100 convinced he was "the one" just because of how he talked to her and the trauma they shared. She told me he was an "ex" drug dealer and had tattoos all over and carried a gun all the time. But that he had left all that life behind him haha I told her she was making a mistake and he was a bad person and only bad things would happen to her if she gave him a chance. She didn't listen and at that point moved out to an apartment.
Long story short, their two month afair was, sure enough, full of manipulation, toxicity, controling, and the most stressful life she's ever had. She was forced to have her every move tracked. During this time she became very close to his 9 year old daughter. She would almost always spend nights over at his house but say she would sleep in the daughter's room every time. She would be partying with him almost 7 nights a week while trying to hold down a job. In the end, after him breaking up with her about 5 times within the span of two months she found out she was pregnant.
I visited her at her apartment on our 10 year anniversary while she was pregnant with another mans child. We had so many plans for our 10 year. She missed out on so much. Even then I gave her a few gifts that I had bought before I knew she was pregnant. I wouldn't have gotten anything otherwise. I didn't want to give them to her but I would've felt like an Indian giver if I didn't.
It was only then that she realized that it wouldn't work out with that piece of trash. She called me and told me she needed help. I never told her to get an abortion but she knew that if she didn't it would be the final straw for me because I never wanted kids and I'll be damned if I had to raise some scum of the Earth's child. It wasn't after I helpped her get the abortion that "she realized I would be with her through thick and thin". I didn't pay for the procedure though. She apologized pretty sincerely about that relationship and for cheating and all the other relationships she's had. She said she really regrets hurting me.
Shortly afterward she told me she wanted to try things again after 3+ years of disregard and emotional abuse trying to find her happiness. I held strong through it all but the fact she got pregnant was the ultimate sin against me in my book.
She never had sex with any other man until she met this trash of a human. And I believe her on that. We literally saw him with another bitch while my wife was pregnant by the way. When she first confessed she was pregnant to me I asked her how many times they had sex and she said two. Later, after the abortion, when I finally had courage to start talking to her about this very hurtful subject she said they only had sex once and that she was blacked out at the time and doesn't remember anything about that night. I don't know what to make of her changing her story from having sex 2 times to 1.
I asked her how many times she blacked out with him and she told me a total of two nights but that other night she blacked out she asked him if they had sex and he said no. The time they did have sex the next morning he right away told her they had sex. He also told her he wanted to get her pregnant because he wanted a family. This scumbag of a person probably planned it all out. He made sure to fuck her on her fertile days and make sure she was blacked out in the process. She had never wanted to be physical with any of the guys she's talked to and I believe her.
So if all of this is true then she was technically raped because she was blacked out. If that was true, then that would make me an ass hole for hating her for getting raped. We have been getting couples therapy but gaining trust in her again is hard. She is still really hurt from the pain I've caused her as well. However slowly my love has gone from a %10 right after she told me she got pregnant to a present %30. The pregnancy alone killed my love %60 for her instantly.
So this brings us to the present day. She has told me she thinks he's a piece of trash and even gave him the nickname "trash". However she has always missed his daughter she became very close to over those two months. However it's been about 6 months now since the break up and abortion and this trash requests her on social media and starts sending her messages again. At first for a week she ignored them and said she wasn't going to answer. But eventually she started saying there were some things she needed closure on. She also confessed she still had feelings for him, which I get, but also that the door is still open for him.
After a week she came into the house crying uncontrollably. She said this trash called her and she answered and he said that his daughter missed her a lot. He said he couldn't talk now but that he would call her back in a bit. She said she was crying so much because she felt sad that his daughter still missed her so much. She said she would answer when he called her back. I told her not to answer but she said she didn't care. I told her in that case I would be present for the call but she didn't want me to be there. I told her if she didn't have anything to hide to let me. She said she wouldn't feel comfortable if I was present. I told her I didn't want her talking to him and this would only push us apart and she didn't care.
After almost a whole hour talking to her ex she said he just told her how much the daughter missed her and how he was so sorry about everything blah blah blah. My wife told him it wasn't right for her to talk to the daughter with out the mother's permission. She later told me it was really selfish of him to just unload his feelings on her just to make himself feel better and to get it off his chest. She said she didn't even want to ask anything for closure anymore at that point.
I was fairly mad at her but I would probably let it slide if it was a one time thing. A few days later, he called her again. I told her not to call him back, she didn't care and said she would call him. So I told her, if she doesn't have anything to hide then record the call, again she refused. I told her if she called him back then our relationship would probably never work and I would love her even less than I do now. She didn't give a shit and called him back. A little while later she came back in very excited saying the daughter wanted to facetime her. I told her I didn't care. This time she went into the next room as opposed to making the call from inside her car.
At this point I got my stuff and started getting ready to leave to the gym. I couldn't be in the house anymore, I was so mad. She eventually ended the call and asked what I was doing. I told her I was leaving and I didn't want to talk with her at all until later that night. Once at the gym she text me saying I didn't care about leaving her alone even though I know she has abandonment issues. I told her how am I supposed to care if she doesn't care about me? She says whether she stops talking to him or not is her business. I told her it's my business if she wants a relationship with me. Then she proceeds to attack my flaws.
Is this relationship even worth fighting for anymore? Or am I finally on the cusp of finally gaining back the relationship that I always wished I had with her since day one? Or have I simply been a cuck this whole time? Or have I finally taken the punishment I deserved for the 5+ years of physical and metal abuse I inflicted on her? Am I overreacting about the no-contact I want her to have with the ex? What is your read on this situation? Am I stupid or commendable.

I am not The OOP, OOP posted from 2 accounts: u/ThrowRA_Elisax & u/WanderingInMyDreams
I (25F) have face blindness, my BF (24M) likes to test me. How do I make it clear this is not okay?
Previous BoRU
Originally posted to relationship_advice & AITAH
Editor's Note: Prosopagnosia, also known as face blindness, is a neurological disorder that makes it difficult to recognize faces and facial expressions
TRIGGER WARNING: emotional abuse, manipulation, sexual assault
Original Post Apr 4, 2024
Hi y’all, sorry for posting this. If it’s not okay, I can delete it.
I’ve been with my bf for almost a year now. I love him dearly, and he loves me too (I’m guessing) but there’s one thing that’s causing a lot of issues for us.
I suffer from prosopagnosia/face blindness, which means it’s really hard for me to recognise people’s faces. I usually go by other characteristics to put a name to a person, like hairstyle/facial hair, marks, skin colours, accessories, etc. But it’s still really tough.
It’s caused me severe anxiety & other mental health struggles.
I’m lucky to have wonderful people around me though, who are aware & try to help. They’ll introduce themselves when we start talking, wear something they know I’ve linked to them, or whatever.
Usually my bf does this too, but sometimes he likes to ‘test’ me & it’s incredibly stressful. He shaved of his beard once, a few times he wore a completely different style of clothing, or changed his hairstyle, all without warning me. In those moments he won’t tell me who he is, or say someone else’s name, just to see if I’ll figure out it’s him. He’ll make jokes saying he’ll try to switch with one of his friends & see if I’ll stay ‘loyal’.
I usually do realise it’s him, but it causes me a lot of anxiety.
We’ve had big fights on this. He says he’s allowed to change his look (‘i’m not a cartoon character’), I ask him to warn me.
Don’t get me wrong. He cares about me, but I don’t think he get’s how stressful it is. How do I make it clear? (We have A LOT of great times together, there’s just this bump.)
Update: It’s hard to imagine I made this post 19 hours ago & now I’m in the middle of breaking up with him. I’m very tired so I’m going to keep this short.
I went to talk to him, showed him this & told him he can’t do it anymore. The conversation was.. a lot. First he was angry I made this post, then he was angry I was taking it all so serious. Lot’s of apologies & so on.
He again said he was just trying to make a tough situation more light, I said it’s too much. He said I can’t take a joke & I need to let him be him. That he always tells me when he’s been joking and if he was really keen on hurting me he’d just do things & not tell me, so him telling proves he cares. (That one got me v uncomfortable.)
At one point he said he just wanted to test if it was real, because I could just be using it as an excuse to do anything. I left after that cause we were just going in circles. There was a lot of me making an issue of ‘one small thing’.
I’m exhausted. He’s still blowing up my phone with love & apologies, but you guys made me realise a lot. Thanks, really. I’m trying to stay rational about it but it’s hard, because I do care about him a lot.
I’m gonna get a few hours of sleep. Thank you again.
RELEVANT COMMENTS
CheapDepth2155

He is messing with your safety does he not realise that?

OOP

I don’t think he realises how confusing it all is. There’s been a moment he did the opposite, acting all weirded out when I thanked him for a nice date, saying it wasn’t him and though I knew it was, I still started to doubt myself. He did say it was a joke soon after but it caused such a panic. He hasn’t done it again but it took me a long time to feel comfortable again.

shitmykidsays

Making someone feel unsafe is not a joke. Gaslighting someone you care about is not a joke.

~
blueavole

Holy smikes that’s terrifying.
Not to recognize a familiar face with a major change like that. - that is like nightmare fuel.
That your bf does it to you, multiple times on purpose is scary.
I don’t know if there is a way you can explain it to him if he doesn’t get it. It seems he enjoy your panic. Which is not a good thing in a partner.
If this was my partner I would get a tattoo or something. And I don’t have any.

OOP

My dad actually got a tattoo on his arm for me, which is a great comfort.
I hadn’t realised how messed up everything is, until reading all these replies.

~
LegitimateDebate5014

Your boyfriend is basically abusing you in emotional situations. He thinks it’s hilarious you struggle and get severe anxiety which isn’t normal, nor does it mean he cares about you. This is a huge red flag

OOP

Abuse is a really big word, but I do agree it’s not okay. I’m seeing him soon, we’ll see how it goes.

Update Apr 8, 2024
Hi y’all. Hope it’s okay I post a little update. Things went bat-shit crazy.
A lot has happened in the last days.
I’m really grateful to you all, honestly. I wasn’t aware about the real meaning of his ‘pranks’ and what it said about him & our relationship.
I went to talk to him the same evening I made that post, with the intention of making clear he can’t pull all that anymore.
The conversation ESCALATED.
We talked for hours into the night & every day since. There’s been a lot of messages.
He got angry about the redditpost I made (I showed him), angry at you guys, angry that I couldn’t take a joke & listened to strangers.
Said things like he in the beginning didn’t believe I actually suffered from it, and would use it as an excuse to cheat on him. That now he does believe, but - due to bad break-ups in the past - he has a hard time trusting I won’t use it as an excuse regardless.
Said he was joking about it because he wanted to make a tough situation lighter & that’s just his sense of humour. That if I loved him, I’d accept that.
When I made it clear I was done, it got even worse. He began apologising a lot. Said he didn’t realise it was such a big thing for me (again, didn’t make any sense with all said before.)
In the same breath he said that he at least told me. (To the people who thought he actually had planned to trick me by using one of his friends, I think y’all may be very right.)
To be honest I was done. I do care about him a lot (can’t just shut that off), but it’s never going to work.
There’s been many many messages/calls/etc.
He dropped some vague hints that sometimes he pulled ‘pranks’ I wasn’t aware of. I don’t know if that is true, or he’s just in a bad place right now.
He also came to my place to apologise again. But I suspect he didn’t expect I’d immediately recognise him, as he didn’t apologise till I said his name.
He’s not evil, but just very messed up rn.
I blocked him everywhere, told him not to show up anymore & that a friend would give him his stuff.
I’m going to delete this account soon but, I wanted to thank you guys for helping me realise it. I genuinely don’t think I would have. I’m heartbroken, but a bit relieved as well. Thanks for all the support & kindness.
RELEVANT COMMENTS
trippyhippy

I'm glad you broke up! Someone who loves you shouldn't ever do that to you.
Just curious about your condition. Do you also have issues with recognizing voices as well as faces? I can only imagine how hard it must be to deal with.

OOP

Actually voices are one of the traits I go by to recognise someone! Voices, posture, tattoos, hairstyle, and so on.
Thank you loads.

NEW UPDATES

AITAH for not giving my ex the closure he’s asking for because he messed with my face blindness? Apr 21, 2024
This is probably a bit stupid but that boy has got me questioning my own mind. Either way, sorry if this is a bother.
I broke up with my bf a few weeks ago. I had realised - in part thanks to Reddit - that some of his behaviour was absolutely not okay & when I tried to talk to him, the conversation escalated to me breaking up with him.
I have a pretty severe case of face blindness/prosopagnosia. It means I can’t recognise/remember people’s faces & go by other characteristics to try & put a name to someone. (Voice, (hair)style, posture, etc.) People around me know & introduce themselves when we meet & other things to make it easier. (I have a lot of anxiety because of it.)
He used to try & test me, which gave me a lot of stress. Changed up his look without warning to see if I knew it was him, and a lot more. He called it pranks. (He is a jokester.)
So, we broke up. It’s been a lot. He’d been calling/messaging non-stop with both apologies & non-apologies, ‘till I blocked him.
In moments of a lot of emotion I said things like I never wanted to see him again, and he’d reply that he was hurt, that I wouldn’t even know if it was him & I was lucky he wouldn’t do it.
Made me feel icky.
He’s contacted me again yesterday - through a new account - saying he just wants one more face-to-face conversation, if only to give him his stuff that is still at my place & get some closure so we can both move on.
I said my plan was to get a mutual friend to bring it over to him. He was hurt.
He did seem a lot more calm than before & told me we were together for a year, he just wanted one conversation after I suddenly broke things off. That he had some time to process now, etc & that he doesn’t understand how he suddenly - after a year of loving each other - became so evil I couldn’t have one chat with him.
But I don’t feel good about it. My gut’s telling me this will not be a good conversation, my worst fears are telling me he might play a trick to prove some point.
WIBTA if I don’t reply anymore/just say no?
Edit: I didn’t expect all these replies. I hope it’s okay I respond like this. Thank you all, really. I think I knew already but somehow started to doubt myself. (The past weeks have been a lot.) I really appreciate & needed these words.
I’m ready for all of this to be over & done with.
Also just a little thank you in general. Reddit’s been a wonderful community & it’s helped me a lot.
Update: AITAH for not giving my ex the closure he’s asking for because he messed with my face blindness? May 11, 2024
EDITORS NOTE: Changed initials to names for easier reading
Here’s my previous post, for who’s interested. (And before.
Hi!
It’s been a wee bit, and since I’m still getting messages about this, I thought I’d just give one big update for this.
So more than a month ago I broke up with my BF because he kept pulling ‘pranks’ involving my face blindness. (I can’t recognise faces & am dependent on other aspects to recognise someone, and even then it’s still confusing.)
After that he’d been bugging me that he wanted to meet up, so we could get some closure. My gut was telling me not to, but I felt guilty.
With you guys’ advice (& my own gut feeling) in mind, I decided not to go. I asked a friend, Roger, to go bring him his stuff & kept him blocked - including blocking the new accounts he’d made.
Roger came back with a letter from him, to me. The letter in itself was v apologetic. He even said he was grateful for our time together & took full responsibility. It ended with him saying he’d respect it if I chose not to reply or message. Honestly, a lot of very respectful words.
I still decided not to get in touch. (Still trying to get over the break-up myself.) But I did appreciate it, till I found out he wasn’t letting go like he said.
Roger & some other mutual friends let me know he was asking them about me A LOT, if I had read the letter, if I was seeing someone else (already?!), and so on.
Couple of days ago he showed up at my place. He was clearly not sober & v upset. He just seemed so broken, so I - stupidly - let him in.
For a while he was just being miserably nice, while I got him water & stuff. But the more sober, the more angry he got.
At that point I messaged basically everyone I knew to come. I didn’t think he’d hurt me, but I didn’t feel comfortable being alone with him regardless.
Among the many accusations of me not even having the decency to reply, that I clearly never cared about him & that I was a horrendous person, he told me ‘I cheated on him & didn’t even know it’ so how could I blame him for not trusting me?
I’m not gonna lie, I was trying to stay calm but failed. (And I know I should have not lost my cool.) I screamed at him, asked him what he was talking about.
Apparently on a night out with him & others, he asked his friend Mike (who knows of my face blindness & has similar characteristics as my ex, part from a v different voice & smell) to ‘swap’ out with him, and kissed me. And I didn’t know.
I don’t know if he’s lying or not. But knowing I was drinking & in a crowded, loud room, I know it’s a possibility. Especially since Mike tried to kiss me another time, though then I immediately realised it was him & lost my shit at him. (When I told my then bf, he was more angry than I had ever seen him, so idk if that time was a ‘plan’ as well or not. Either way Mike is a disgusting human.)
I know it’s ‘just’ a kiss, but it did make me feel sick to my stomach just thinking about how they might have played me.
I told him to get out, he didn’t. Luckily it didn’t take long for some people to arrive & get him out. I’m endlessly grateful for the people I have around me.
I’m staying at my parents’ place now, took a break from work & am looking into therapy. My mom & dad (who got a tattoo years ago just so I would never doubt it’s him) are treating me like a princess & reminding me of the kindness people deserve.
Haven’t looked into a restraining order, but might if it continues.
Thanks to you all for helping me see what’s right in this situation. Reddit has been a wonderful community I am very grateful for. I probably won’t update anymore, as this is over & done with. But I’m glad I got to pour my heart out to y’all.
THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP
DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7

(I am looking for friends only! Please do not be creepy. And send an intro with your initial message! Tell me about you and your hobbies or some fun fact about you!)
I’m looking for someone who enjoys deep conversations and might have unconventional hobbies or are passionate about their interests. I love diving deep and really learning about a person, the things they enjoy, and the way they think about the world. I would also love to have someone that I can yap with about anything and everything, someone who will virtually cuddle up with me while we watch movies or enjoy other activities.
I do have ADHD, ASD, PMDD, anxiety disorders, and depression. I am a messsss, but this does mean that I have a lot to talk about! I really appreciate mental health discussions as the topic is incredibly important to me.
And when it comes to my hobbies and interests, I have tons! Currently I am caring for rats, aquariums, and plants. Activities I enjoy include anything crafty (crochet, 3D printing, anything artsy), occasional gaming (horror is my fav genre), I love baking, going on walks, listening to true crime, watching shows, reading, and so many other things. Things I want to explore more include tattoos, piercings, witchcraft & tarot, and general self improvement. I love getting into others’ interests as well!
There were some people who messaged me last time that I didn’t get back to even though I did want to chat - please feel free to reach out again! I’m horrible about messaging people back be it personally or professionally when it comes to the initial stages of talking. Or if I messaged you and then disappeared and you still wanna chat, nudge me! I get overwhelmed with interactions pretty easily, and I have a lot of overwhelming stuffs going on lately.

My boyfriend is a single father (27M) and I (20F) don't have any children. We've been dating for three months but I can't tell whether he's hung up on the mother of his children. I am also having trouble wrapping my head around becoming a stepmother and the fact that my boyfriend is going to be in close contact with the mother of his children for many many years to come.
I think he may be hung up on the mother of his kids because... he has a tattoo of her initials which he hasn't gotten covered up (it's been two years since the last time they separated). He once said to me "I'm sure I will need to fight my ex's boyfriend one day," sounded to me like he almost fantasizes about it. She's very pretty. He is very very critical of her, I think if he had moved on he wouldn't talk about her so much. I don't understand how you could not love the mother of your children. I think its like a soul tie. He was living with her a few nights out of the week for a long long time. He does not have his own home and he told me he was sleeping at her home a few nights a week after we started dating.
TALKS ABOUT CHEATING A LOT- He brings up cheating a lot. It was never something I was concerned about before but he talks about it so much the idea has gotten into my subconscious. It's even been affecting my dreams. I had a dream where he had a baby with some other woman and I had to confront him about it. Then I had dreams where I forgot about him cheated (which I would never ever do) and then had this awful feeling because in the dream I knew I had to tell him. I have asked him to stop and I think he will. But he tells me when other women show interest in him at work, while running errands etc and it makes me uncomfortable especially because the seed of thinking about cheating has been planted in my head.
Now, I don't know if my own insecurities are making me overly neurotic. I am struggling because he has so much history with his ex and a future with her too because of coparenting. It makes me sad and sick thinking about it. I didn't think him having a kid would bother me. But I can't ever be his priority, although he is extremely considerate and makes time for me and shows me that he cares through very thoughtful gestures. I don't think I would want to have a kid with him because honestly I think it would cheapen the experience for me. If I was with someone else I might want a baby. With him though I would feel cheated somehow because he's already done it.
Parents often talk about how earth shattering the experience of having a baby is. I like seeing my boyfriend's paternal side, it's very attractive to me. I admire those traits in him as a person. But I wonder if he can't love me like a man without a family could. I truly have no idea and I don't know whether it is selfish to think this way.
The Advice I would really like to receive is how to know whether I should end the relationship, or wait and see how things go. Are there questions I should ask about the mother of his children? How do I know whether I want to be with him especially since this is my first serious relationship. Should I bring up these concerns with him? Or should I break up with him because I have these concerns in the first place.
tl;dr
I (20F) am unsure about continuing my relationship and becoming a step mom to the two 4 year old sons of my boyfriend (27M). I want to see where it goes but I am unsure whether it is the right thing to do or if my concerns are normal.

(I am looking for friends only! Please do not be creepy. And send an intro with your initial message! Tell me about you and your hobbies or some fun fact about you!)
I’m looking for someone who enjoys deep conversations and might have unconventional hobbies or are passionate about their interests. I love diving deep and really learning about a person, the things they enjoy, and the way they think about the world. I would also love to have someone that I can yap with about anything and everything, someone who will virtually cuddle up with me while we watch movies or enjoy other activities.
I do have ADHD, ASD, PMDD, anxiety disorders, and depression. I am a messsss, but this does mean that I have a lot to talk about! I really appreciate mental health discussions as the topic is incredibly important to me.
And when it comes to my hobbies and interests, I have tons! Currently I am caring for rats, aquariums, and plants. Activities I enjoy include anything crafty (crochet, 3D printing, anything artsy), occasional gaming (horror is my fav genre), I love baking, going on walks, listening to true crime, watching shows, reading, and so many other things. Things I want to explore more include tattoos, piercings, witchcraft & tarot, and general self improvement. I love getting into others’ interests as well!
There were some people who messaged me last time that I didn’t get back to even though I did want to chat - please feel free to reach out again! I’m horrible about messaging people back be it personally or professionally when it comes to the initial stages of talking. Or if I messaged you and then disappeared and you still wanna chat, nudge me! I get overwhelmed with interactions pretty easily, and I have a lot of overwhelming stuffs going on lately.

~First~
The Bounty Hunters
“So we’re number four thousand eight hundred and twenty two on the waiting list?” Slithern asks Mother Lytha. He’s wrapped up in her coils with Mother Cindy on Pukey’s lap and between them. She’s holding George and Harrika is holding little Darruda Dawn Schmidt Powercoil. Or DD, it turns out that the name was too good for the nickname of Booger to stick. To Slithern’s disappointment. Surrounding them are his honourguard in full formal plate. Even though they were told this was going to be casual.
“It’s going through quickly.” Bike remarks from his position. He had decided to be a gentleman and let Susie-Lu have his seat. Which is why her sister was leaning against an unused part of he console next to where Bike was working.
“So does that mean we still need ta stand at attention all formal like? Or can I relax a lil?” Sallie asks. They had managed to easily fit everyone in the ship onto the bridge so there had been a minimum of fighting for seating space. Mostly the spaces around respective husbands. The Crimsonhewers didn’t care. The Sidewinders had moved fast. Nuit and Soir were all over Tang as Mustard relaxed with Andrea and Roth. Jade was crouching next to a sitting Onyx with Air Farce draped over their shoulders like the most impertinent boa to ever exist.
The Hat was reclining with his newly made piece of clothing as J3 was jotting down a list of all the funniest loopholes he could find in Mordonan bylaws and Orhanas traditions. It was in bullet point format and he was halfway through his fifth page already.
Mustard, Andrea and Roth were all but tangled up together and while The Hat wasn’t technically surrounded by his Crimsonhewer brides, there was also a higher concentration of them around the big man.
“We have contact!” Bike suddenly says as the queue in front of them jumps in time to see a man take a pull of a clear liquid that is unlikely to be water. “Are you Observer Wu?”
“I am, and you would be Officer Drake Engel. Your Aunt sends her regards.” Observer Wu says putting the bottle to this side.
“The queue behind us just expanded to several thousand. Still working on your cyber-security?”
“Yes. Unfortunately my duties require that I take an initial observation of all human outposts and interests before physically going there to evaluate in person. Meaning I can’t simply shut it off as Admiral Cistern has recommended.” Observer Wu says and there are numerous sympathetic looks.
“Well, if nothing else it should confirm just how female dominant the galactic population is.” Pukey says. “I will not hold it against you if you wish to drain the flask.”
“I’ll need more of it for later. My supplies are currently limited.” Observer Wu states. “Now then, from my understanding you are one of the earliest groups that went out and sought further interactions with the galaxy at large. You have also a recent report of one of your members attaining noble rank in a friendly empire known as Lablan, is this correct?”
“That would be me.” Slither says. “Behold my honourguard! I’m afraid I’ve left the Crystal Star back in my quarters however.”
“I see. Is there anything in particular that I should be made aware of?”
“There have been a few encounters with some very dangerous things. Some are still legally classified, others are classified under an Undaunted Remit to control dangerous information.”
“Dangerous information?
“A disgustingly powerful weapon that is easily mass made but terrible in all it’s means. The ones we’re referring to are named Pale Generators. They’re in the Albrith files.” Pukey says and Observer Wu nods.
“More to read for me then. Now I understand we have you thank for some unholy hybrid of an elephant gun, anti-material rifle and artillery cannon.”
“Yes, the Pop Gun. Often impractical, but most people scanning for weapons look for things like railguns or coilguns which have certain energy profiles, but a Pop-Gun is inert until used. Meaning it can slip through a lot of scans. Couple that with it being made of common materials and you can hide these monsters just about anywhere and there’s no way of knowing where they are without actually seeing them.”
“An excellent contribution.” Observer Wu remarks. “You were also involved in the conquest of Vucsa were you not?”
“They picked me up there!” Jade says holding up a hand and dislodging Air Farce by accident. There’s about a half second of excitement as the man lands mostly bad, jumps off it hard and turns it into a flip.
“Hah!” He proclaims and Jade laughs. “What’s the matter? Can’t get one on your old man?”
Any further taunting is cut off by her grabbing him into a tight hug as Onyx laughs before pausing as she feels her stomach.
“Little sis kicking?”
“If I hadn’t had a scan I would swear you had two sisters on the way little lady. She’s going to be a big one.” Onyx notes wryly.
“Sorry big girl, I don’t do things by halves.” Air Farce says now standing up next to her and is just barely poking over her shoulder as he does so. She leans back to kiss him.
“Make it up to me then.”
“So business as usual?”
“Business as usual.” She confirms.
“Well, I can see that there’s certainly a great effort to see how humans interbreed with other races.” Observer Wu states. “What has been learned about that?”
“Well for starters, even if there’s an enormous difference between the parents the child is still healthy. Little George here hatched from an egg that his three foot tall mother laid.” Pukey says and Observer Wu openly taps a few keys on his chair to zoom in.
“Congratulations, the child looks healthy, if a little small.”
“He should grow a fair amount more in short order. But he seems to be almost completely human.”
“Almost?”
“There is a slightly stronger type of ligament and reinforcement around his hands. His nails are also coming in stronger. I have more than a few ancestors from the mountains, with the stronger grips and everything. Looks like my little Georgie is going to be hard to stop from climbing over everything.”
“Really? So your specific breed of Kohb have stronger grips?”
“Very much so. There are those with larger hands designed to aid in digging, then there are some with finer smoother scales for better swimming.” Cindy says nuzzling down first George, then DD when she makes some noise.
Then the older sister giggles and decides to try and talk with her brother again. “Uh oh, looks like we’ve got some chatting ahead.”
“I think we should duck out then. Need to keep the littles well attended to.” Pukey says rising up as he carries them all. “If you’ll excuse me sir, I have an adoptive daughter and a newly born son to attend to.”
As the door closes behind them there’s a pause.
“So now that they’re out of the room, does anyone want to talk about them?” J3 asks in an amused tone.
“I think we can skip that, now, your particular role is to effectively take up a second occupation and pursue it while reporting back to The Undaunted as a whole, that must have been quite the step up. How were you chosen for this? Recruitment? Volunteered?”
“We were firstly singled out as more energetic and unusual crew members, the fact that all of us...”
“Ahem.” Tang interrupts.
“Almost all of us.” Bike amends his statement. “Almost all of us had some kind of strange nickname but ALL of us were rated highly for independence and initiative. We’re all always doing something, and this gives us something to do as well as being outright encouraged to get our hands on and play with every possible new toy we can.”
“And how many planets have you visited at this point?”
“Several dozen. Although if we were to simply go from world to world to drop off every criminal we had found that was a border jumper of some kind then we would rapidly visit another hundred, easily.”
“Not to mention revisit a great many that we’ve already gone to.”
“Yeah, that’s the problem with vacation worlds. People like running to them and often need to run from them after doing something stupid.”
“However the fact that a lot of bounties let you get first grab of a criminal’s illegal items, we’ve gotten quite the stash of weapons and equipment. TO say nothing of the weird techniques we discover that makes us see things even more tactically.”
“Such as?”
“One of our earliest bits of bounty hunting was The Multi-Armed Maimers, they were categorized by having many limbs as you can guess.”
Observer Wu nods.
“Well they had a trick where they’d lead any chase they ended up in directly into a treacherous canyon that would overhang to form an open air cave with numerous quartz veins, magnetic interference and a path so dangerous that chasing them was suicide, and if it was blocked off they would up their viciousness until it was uncovered, and if someone waited on the other side? Guaranteed death for whoever they took hostage, and not a clean one either.”
“How did you handle it?”
“Bought the wreck of a local van, repaired and upgraded until it was borderline illegal to own, and then went through the canyon, a little faster each time, until Air Farce there could fly it at his top speed with his eyes closed.”
“Okay, so you could stop them from harming a hostage. What else?”
“Well, we also knew that they would likely try it twice, so we set a trap at the entrance after they went over it. Using positioning and sensors to set it off at the exact right time in order to shred the underside of their vehicle. The resulting crashed stunned and injured the Maimers, allowing for easy capture.” Air Farce finishes before grinning. “Big girl here was also on the hunt and I showed her our ways. Taking her for a leisurely drive with the songs of earth to serenade her when she asked how we did it.”
There is a moment of silence before he chuckles.
“Poor girl doesn’t have a single romantic bone in her body! She...” Air Farce begins to ease before a large dark hand tipped with claws wraps around his head to silence him before he’s dragged into Onyx’s lap.
“Anyways, after he nearly scared my fur off, I realized I was dealing with the kind of man so energetic that even getting a few sparks of that would power me for millennia.” Onyx says fondly before she lets go of Air Farce to let him breathe.
“Speaking of energetic, that reminds me of something. Lieutenant General Escareno would like Pilot Rico Bravo to know that so long as he lives the threat of military prison continues under Mexican skies.”
“So long as the General lives or so long as I live?” Air Farce asks.
“He didn’t specify. I saw the forms he has ready. He just needs to file it for a dishonourable discharge, and has refused to speak of what exactly you did to anger him so much.” Observer Wu says and all heads turn to Air Farce.
“Hmm... I was explicitly told that the Gag Order was ‘until everyone forgets this embarrassment’ and failing to uphold it would see the biggest boot he has on the strongest foot he can find to kick my ass into the smallest cell he can manage if I ever tell anyone what happened.”
“Still no clues man?” Bike asks with a large smile.
“Once again, the only clue I’ll give you is that General Escareno has no sense of humour.” Air Farce says flatly.
“We’ll get it out of you one day.”
“Not legally you won’t.” Air Farce says. “Besides, what I did was technically legal.”
“Not anymore it’s not.” Observer Wu replies.
“Well it was legal at the time.” Air Farce amends.
“Every time you open your mouth I have more questions.” Sergeant Migara notes.
“That’s normal.” Air Farce says with a massive grin as he suddenly has Aviators on and there’s some groaning around the bridge.
“Where did those come from and why?” Observer Wu asks.
“He’s got a little Axiom pocket tattoo behind his ear. He has them in there.” Jade explains.
“Jade! No! Sweetie please, not my secrets!” Air Farce calls out and Observer Wu just shakes his head.
“Yes, this is clearly a surprisingly normal ship. Incidentally is Captain Schmidt still listening? There is someone here to meet him.”
“Oh, yeah we’re just outside, just making sure the little ones having a conversation isn’t interrupting.” Pukey says as he and Cindy slip back in with the two babies happily babbling at each other.
“Here, let me help.” Harrika says as she turns around and walks over. Little DD and George are happy to be near each other with George grabbing at DD constantly and her giggling every time his fingers slide over her reinforced skin.
“So you have someone here to speak with me?” Pukey says before Observer Wu nods and gestures for someone to walk over. “Baked?”
“Hey.” The man says. His expression is immensely slack but not outside of regulation. “You’ve done well.”
“I have. I’m surprised you recovered quick enough for the second round.”
“Eh, it still hurts. But it doesn’t really matter.” Baked replies. “So... three kids?”
“Four, the next egg is soon to hatch.” Pukey says and Baked pauses.
“Still kinda weird that humans can come from eggs now.”
“Well, the next one up is a daughter. Little snake girl coming up.”
“Really? That’s nice.” Baked says and there’s nothign else he says. After a few moments everyone turns to Pukey wondering what the hell is going on.
“It’s just Baked, he’s about as calm and mellow as a human can get. Even with chemical assistance, he’s not worried.”
“Why worry? Things turn out how they turn out.”
“Yes, yes the do.” Pukey says and then there’s another silence as Bike slowly looks back and forth and Air Farce starts outright snickering. “Look he’s just like this. I can’t stop that! Breaking his own ankle barely got a peep out of the man!”
People start laughing as Pukey rolls his eyes in frustration.
~First~ Last

I’m on mobile so I’m sorry for any formatting issues. Trigger warning for upsetting content. I hope this finds its way to the right people someday..
I’m Star, and this is my story
The night I finally decided to tell my story I found true liberation. I had to come to terms that I had 3 out comes I had to be ok with. So following what advice I’d give someone else is either going to be the best thing, worst thing, or most insignificant thing I ever decide to do. I can’t use my past as a crutch or excuse to why I’m not living the life I dreamed of.
I guess I’m in for the worlds biggest reality check.
I had a typical life up until pre k. My family packed up our little trailer in Vacherie, Louisiana and nothing has been the same since. I went from growing up close with both sides of my parents family to almost complete isolation.
My dad was in search to lead his family and give us the best life he could possibly provide. With that honest sentiment he found a group of people that became our new family - and for the majority of my life our only family. Family birthdays slowly turned into fellowships. Summer vacation became going to church in different parts of California. Every Thanksgiving was in the sister church in Texas. The majority of our travel time was going to church to which we already went to 3 times a week. We didn’t celebrate any holidays, I couldn’t participate in team sports at school, go to dances, prom, sleepovers with school friends, wear certain clothing, watch certain movies and tv shows, you know, the typical religious restrictions people may encounter. However, this went deeper.
I grew up in a religious cult. Now that I’m way on the other side of that life, I can finally admit it and not feel guilty. I befriended many people I still have fond memories of. I stayed in contact with a few others that have left. There were good people there and some probably still are. These are people I shared decades of my life with. I used to feel some need to protect them from my truth and what I really thought and felt sitting in those pews. I still have my struggles with this.
I remember many significant events. The founder of the church getting shot was the biggest. We all gathered at the church and got on our knees and prayed. Everyone. It didn’t matter your age. I was primary school aged getting on my knees and calling to Jesus. I mimicked what I saw. This ritual only happened when a major event threatened the church or if someone high up in status was on the brink of death or needed extra prayer. I can only recall 3 times I experienced this first hand. Another memorable event was when the leaders went on CBS to defend the churches from allegations of ‘selling tickets to heaven.’ After all, my entire life we were taught that they were the one and only true followers of Christ and the only people making it to what was called a third heaven.
I submitted as much as a child could to what I learned in the church until puberty. As a preachers daughter, I was always expected to act and carry myself in a certain way. I didn’t feel that lifestyle was how I wanted to spend my one chance at life. School was my salvation from home and church. It was the only time I could be me although I was always a diluted version. I made friends, but of course I could never cultivate those friendships outside of school. There was only so many ‘no’s’ to attending sleepovers, parties and doing activities with the friends I chose for myself that a child could take. I started to secretly reject what had become a huge chunk of my life.
There were so many unspoken rules you knew to follow. No piercings, no tattoos, no loud colored haifingernails, no consumption of alcohol, you couldn’t consume worldly music or media, if you saw someone that left it was an unspoken rule not to engage with them and rampent homophobia; which I discovered was typical with similar religious practices and/or followed the King James Version of the bible.
But wait, there’s more!
You couldn’t show your shoulders, wear heels over a certain height, skirts and dresses had to be a certain length. I wore shorts in secret or only at my home. You could only marry and date within the church. If you found someone not in the church you like, you had to bring them in or the relationship would be frowned upon. You had to get married there, do your marriage counseling with the ministry, your dress had to cover your shoulders, your bridal party was your selection out of the sisters and brothers and your reception was in the dining hall at the church. Women couldn’t sit on the first pew at church or wear pants. At the time Facebook was the only allowed social media but your posts were watched. I found myself ‘in the office’ many times towards the end of my time there because of social media. If you wanted to make big purchases you had to have an audience with the ministry first. It was a tight knit community. It was a self sufficient community. It was a community that other people have told their stories about and we were told they were just people taking revenge on the church. The family had to stick together and draw others into the church to save more people so they had a chance for eternal life. There were accusations that many women were forced to get abortions to remain part of the ‘body of Christ’ they told us these allegations were lies. When you’ve been taught and controlled your whole life to eat whatever they feed you, you are obeditent and don’t ask questions. Plus why would my story change anything? Others before me spoke out. Some were silenced, some stories were buried and with that I just kept quiet. I have so many accounts about this church that I need to let go of. A religious relationship with life may work for some and that should be respected; personally it didn’t resonate with the person I want to be. I don’t want to sensationalize this piece of my life it is what it is; it was what it was. I don’t want to leave a door open for my past to feel welcome to my present. To this day I still have nightmares about my family and I being stuck there or going back voluntarily.
I wasn’t allowed to just leave the church and stop coming. How would that look if a preacher couldn’t control his own daugther? The mixture of teenage angst, middle child syndrome, and bipolar depression came together to create the perfect storm -but- in this storm Star was born. The only control I had over my life was through writing. As a teen I rarely left my room. It was me, my guitar, books, music and the magic of movies that kept me as sane as someone in my situation could be. Star became her own entity. She was my salvation in separating my reailty to a dream world so Theresa could survive. Every now and then she had to take over. If I couldn’t leave, I had to find a way out by more drastic measures. It started with pretending to be sick every now and then or purposely waiting to do my homework during church services so I could sit in a back room instead of pretending to take notes and be engaged in the services. This wasn’t enough for me long term so I had to up the ante. I fell into a cycle of self harm. I remember one damn near successful suicide attempt. When I was in the hospital only the ministry was allowed to see me. They told me when I got out the hospital, they would call me into the office to talk about why I did what I did. I never felt such dread and I wished I was dead in that moment. I saw the way it broke my mothers heart to see me in that position. I never attempted suicide again no matter how much I felt I wanted to escape my life. I spent about 2 weeks in a behavioral facility and to be honest, I never felt more free at the time. Unfortunately, back to church I still had to go. I came up with a plan that would change my trajectory permanently. I had to get myself kicked out of the church.
In the world of alternative modeling I found a community that became my new universe and my ticket to freedom. It’s because of this community I can even tell my story. I began posting risqué photos and I went all in with nude modeling. When this was discovered, I got called into the office one last time. I remember being asked if that the type of content I made me feel good about myself and that question made to feel so small. It felt like my own David and Goliath story when I spoke up and said, “yes, it does.” I believe this was the first time I ever didn’t let my fear decide my fate. I wanted to do what I wanted, how I wanted and when I want to do it. I didn’t want to care what anyone thought of me. I didn’t want to follow a lifestyle that sucked the life out of me. It’s this mindset that took years to come to its peak to practice what I preach. Little me always wanted to sing and put on a show. She wanted to make music. She wanted to create movies. She wanted to make people laugh and smile. She wanted to voice characters on her favorite tv shows. She wanted to explore and experience everything life had to offer even if she was always taught the world has nothing and it would just eat you up and spit you out. But I would choose to be digested by the world over and over again before I waste my time bound to the expectations of others. If I knew then what I know now, I would tell myself go be that theater kid, go audition for movies follow your true passions instead of making choices out of necessity to have a typical life. I often wonder who I would’ve been if I lived a different life. A normal life.
Now here I am ready to, for once, truly try doing what my inner child always dreamed of. I have so many songs that need to find a home and I’m doing that by following the only formula I know- bearing my soul and putting myself out there. I’m currently working on updating old lyrics and creating new songs so I can contact people to collaborate with. I’ve never been one for reality, so of course I have to do this my way. It’s time to stop telling myself that it’s too late and coming up with excuses to avoid the inevitably of failure. I was stuck in the societal mindset that you had to achieve everything in your 20s. There’s already failure in not trying. Of course I have no clue where or how to start with my limited experience and resources. I was gonna be that crazy person to walk in any and every record company and have them read my songs. Of course the industry doesn’t work that way, and why would it for me? I’m nothing special. Every artist feels their work will touch someone out there. Maybe nothing will come from this, maybe I’ll get to work with local artists or maybe my works will just find success in being posted here for few to read.
Since writing my initial story, I have yet again evolved. If I was going to go down this road I had to do things the right way and build a strong foundation from scratch. While learning how to navigate the unknown I found someone who elevated my mindset. The world connected me with vocal coach, Jeanetta, who turned my world upside down in the best way. I went from discovering I’ve been singing wrong my whole life to being able to write essays on how much I learned about proper singing techniques and from only wanting to write for others to constructing my own projects and concepts. She’s been my mentor in helping me unlock parts of me that I didn’t know were there and parts of me I’ve forgotten existed. I’ve been down a rabbit hole of crafting my sound and uncovering my voice. I could go off on a tangent about the excitement this journey has brought to me. I’ve made a few demos and dived in head first networking with whoever wants to share their knowledge with me. I had to realize nothing about my path is “normal” and I need to stop dimming myself to blend in common spaces. I’m never going to know normalcy. I can only find people who share a similar vision and will accept me as I am. I’m just going to keep going until I find them or they find me. Either way- I’m going to find out if it’s possible to fly with clipped wings.

So, I met this tattoo artist recently, and we totally hit it off during my tattoo session in his studio👀 We bonded over the same music taste, he let me play my playlist on Bluetooth, and he knew every song, which was awesome. Our chats were super chill, especially during smoke breaks between tattoos, and I could feel him staring at me tons of times. But then his coworker joined in, and things got a bit less relaxed 🥲 A few days later, I reacted to something cool he posted on his Instagram story. That led to him randomly texting me about how my tattoos were healing, and we ended up having a long chat about all sorts of stuff.
btw im 19, he’s 24👀🤭
During our convo he replied to one of my highlights I looked nothing like 19 but really hot in a picture. I playfully asked if he was flirting, and although he initially denied it and said he was complimenting me straightforwardly, it was obvious that he was. We kept flirting but it didn’t go too far, i just reacted to his last message so I wouldn’t look needy or smth. Now I'm eagerly waiting for my salary in 15 days to get new tattoos as well before the summer really starts. I really want something to happen between us because I feel so attracted to him. I haven't liked anyone since my breakup in December, so this is really exciting for me.
I’m just trying to flirt and stuff, dont want too much serious shit going on but also not unserious, something that will make us closer cz im telling yall, he’s really my type and so our last chat was abt 2 weeks ago…
I just want to ask if it’s the same for every girl getting tattooes having a crush on their tattooist 🫠 Should i act normal when I meet him again? or keep on flirting 🤝 I feel like I was being more flirtatious than he was, but he also put in effort, so I'm a bit confused about the situation. Overall, I'm excited but also nervous about where this might lead. Any insights or suggestions would be nice from yall!

So, I met this tattoo artist recently, and we totally hit it off during my tattoo session in his studio👀 We bonded over the same music taste, he let me play my playlist on Bluetooth, and he knew every song, which was awesome. Our chats were super chill, especially during smoke breaks between tattoos, and I could feel him staring at me tons of times. But then his coworker joined in, and things got a bit less relaxed 🥲 A few days later, I reacted to something cool he posted on his Instagram story. That led to him randomly texting me about how my tattoos were healing, and we ended up having a long chat about all sorts of stuff.
btw im 19, he’s 24👀🤭
During our convo he replied to one of my highlights I looked nothing like 19 but really hot in a picture. I playfully asked if he was flirting, and although he initially denied it and said he was complimenting me straightforwardly, it was obvious that he was. We kept flirting but it didn’t go too far, i just reacted to his last message so I wouldn’t look needy or smth. Now I'm eagerly waiting for my salary in 15 days to get new tattoos as well before the summer really starts. I really want something to happen between us because I feel so attracted to him. I haven't liked anyone since my breakup in December, so this is really exciting for me.
I’m just trying to flirt and stuff, dont want too much serious shit going on but also not unserious, something that will make us closer cz im telling yall, he’s really my type and so our last chat was abt 2 weeks ago…
I just want to ask if it’s the same for every girl getting tattooes having a crush on their tattooist 🫠 Should i act normal when I meet him again? or keep on flirting 🤝 I feel like I was being more flirtatious than he was, but he also put in effort, so I'm a bit confused about the situation. Overall, I'm excited but also nervous about where this might lead. Any insights or suggestions would be nice from yall!