Letter to judge from family

Being in a state surrounded by multiple transphobic and homophobic people, including my family, is exhausting. I didn't even have to announce my agender identity (never came out of the closet) and some random man was trying to start shit at a Walmart because they couldn't tell if I was a boy or a girl lmao. Not only that, but my family would just ghost me if I were to come out of the closet. Just for me explaining that I'm not looking to have kids or a spouse (I think I'm aro-ace/ gray aro-ace), I was called an alien or my parent would tell me I was not their kid. They would openly prefer my younger sister for getting pregnant by her boyfriend at 17, so long as she is straight, normal, and provides a grandchild.
Now, imagine if I were to tell my family I'm agender. I tried to test the waters by telling my brother I wished I hadn't been born as my assigned sex, and he was already saying how he didn't trust that line of thinking and threatened to distance himself from me, which hurt because he's one of the few siblings I'm closest to. My other sibling is a self-proclaimed lgbt supporter but would be quick to judge if someone in his family is Lgbt, which doesn't make sense. He does find entertainment in lesbians though...
My parents are from the older generation, so they automatically are transphobic and homophobic and don't wish to change their opinion. One constantly would come to me to make jokes about lgbt folk, while the other would claim that transgender people are pedophiles and trying to force kids to be trans. Little did they know I had experiencing gender dysphoria since elementary. I was constantly yelled at for dressing in a way that didn't confirm my gender growing up, for wanting things that were for the opposite sex, and one side of my parents' family was literally betting with one another that I'd grow up attracted to the same sex just from my appearance alone in a teasing/ mocking manner.
Just to fit in, I have to hide everything about myself and it's very exhausting. I hate pretending to be someone that I'm not all the time, but have to avoid judgment, to be accepted, and avoid possible hate crimes.

Some context:

• I (36M) (throwaway account)
• Wife (45F)
• Daughter (3.7 yo)
• Married since 2017, we were together since 2008 (the year we first met)
• I did the big/huge/monster mistake to continue this relationship despite this obvious problem that you're going to read about. I think I did that because I was deeply physically attracted to her, she was the first love of my life (girlfriend then wife) and because I always believed I could bring back the person she was in 2008, where she was so present, so in touch with me, always available to talk and have deep discussions (but that was just the honeymoon phase of a first love and I didn't know this because it was my first experience)
• I think that with the baby's arrival all the things that didn't work before the arrival, only exploded because of the amount of stress we went through
• I'm not searching for advice or anything, I just want to share my pain with you

--- The letter ---
Dear Wife,
It is with great sadness that I write this letter, but also with great joy for having finally understood what is wrong between us and what the definitive solution is.
Every single day of my life, from July 2009 to today, I have spent time trying to establish a dialogue with you and get your attention without success.
You are always there in body but never in mind.
When I'm able to talk to you, you are present for only a few moments, briefly respond, and then retreat into your beloved thoughts to converse with yourself instead of with me, or to do something else (important or not).
I have tried hundreds of times to express to you how all this makes me feel, how much it hurts me, how I long with all my heart to be in contact with you like we were in 2008, but there was no way to make you understand.
Thus, for all these years of our life, the following scheme has gone on:

1. I try to establish contact with you multiple times during the day.
2. You don't pay attention / you respond with monosyllables / you are not involved in the conversation / you respond rudely.
3. I feel rejected because you don't want to talk to me; I understand that I can't talk to you, I'm not important to you, and by necessity, I shut down because there is no communication and sharing (what you call a long face). You notice the long face and do everything to get me out of it because you hate it, but not what you should do (i.e., insist on asking what’s wrong to establish the contact that was not established before, and then be available to talk the next times). Lately, your solution has been to attack me verbally or physically to force a change in me (e.g., "Enough with these damn long faces! Smile, damn it! Don't sit there like a fool"). This is devastating for me because not only can I not talk to the person I love, but I am also insulted when I expose the problem.
4. When you want to spend quality time, as you call it, on weekends when you are calmer and more relaxed, you are fine, but I am devastated and no longer want to spend quality time with you because I don’t feel well and am upset with you.

If by chance I manage to start a conversation, after a few interactions, you are already back in your head thinking about your things.
This has existed since that July of 2009, as I was telling you, look here: (some email screenshots from 2011) Further examples below (other screenshots)
These are some of the emails I’ve recovered.
It’s useless to say:

• Now there's the baby.
• Before it was work.
• Before it was something else.
• Before it was another thing.

The lack of communication from you towards me is invariant to the things that have happened in our lives.
Look the other day:

• I gave you 1 hour to rest asking you if we could talk.
• I start talking and you get up to take your medicine (because in your head it’s always "oh, he's talking, so meanwhile I can take care of something else"), and after I start talking about this problem, you start telling me "With all the damn problems we have, you have time to talk about this nonsense?" and then told me "Don't you know that people can do other things while you're talking and still be present, hear you and have a conversation with you?"

I have studied it all for a long time, meditating on everything, and I simply believe that, besides no longer being interested in me, you have a mind that works as follows:

• You are perpetually distracted, absorbed in your head and your thoughts, you have a much deeper level of introversion than mine from which you can't easily emerge, you create situations, conversations, battles, etc.
• You think in terms of projects and things to do: in 2011 (I remembered) you were working respectively on 3 different projects (a crazy amount). Obviously, I was getting the leftover attention from this combo. Now there’s the baby, and I am just a satellite orbiting around the two of you, only useful to procure food and necessary things.
• You get very stuck on things and don't want to let go of your fixations. It's likely that you have the hyperfocus of people with ADHD, read more about it here in detail. Regarding the last point, I'll copy and paste the most relevant parts: Hyperfocus in an adult with ADHD allows one to concentrate attention on a single task, often achieving extremely high productivity at the expense of everything around, such as a family member talking or a pot on the stove.

How you mismanaged things with me in the past:

• Manipulation: "Oh, come on, you're the one who's fixated, of course we talk, what are we doing now, excuse me?"
• Insult: "These damn things again? Do you want the truth, Husband? You're a pain in the ass."
• Ultimatum: "If you want, you change, I won't change" "I'm going to the lawyer"
• When cornered: sex and that's it

The only times you are mentally present are when we argue, then you are definitely there.
The only moment I feel connected to you is during sex, but that's 20 minutes every how many days? Does that seem normal to you? When we're older and without sex, won't we even look at each other anymore?
With the baby's arrival, all this has come out like a frog from a boiling pot. Our Daughter sees it, senses it, perceives these dynamics, and it hurts her.
I'm sorry but I have reached my limit.
You are the only person I can't talk to, but with whom I desperately want to talk, share ideas, opinions, thoughts, etc., even 24 hours for 30 consecutive days (like we did in 2008).
You are the only one who brings out the long faces; my best friends, my grandmother, other friends, and former colleagues bring out smiles, jokes, the best of me.
This is our main problem.
If you had managed to maintain communication with me over time as in 2008, you would have a very close person, who would treat you like a queen, who would do everything to keep you happy, but you continuously reject and despise me.
Besides all this, in recent years, there have also been:

• Heavy insults
• Constant threats
• Spits in the face
• Kicks and slaps

You have no respect for me anymore, zero.
The affection has totally disappeared; I'm writing now after more than 8 days without receiving a kiss, a cuddle, a caress from you (yes I count them).
Wife, in a loving couple, this has no place, it’s not normal, it’s not a demonstration of love. It’s totally out of the question. There has never been a time when you said: Wow Husband, you're right, I sincerely apologize, now for the next 2 hours I will put down the phone, this, that, and talk to you. NO.
You don't even think of that.
I am telling you that for me, we have reached the end. You don't listen to me and don't talk to me.
You don't care about the problem; everything is okay for you, and I have to solve it on my own.
I have been fighting for years; in recent months, I have written over and over again, but nothing.
As Biden in February 2022 left no room for compromise with Putin regarding the Ukraine issue, forcing him to proceed, I do the same.
I want divorce and I do not want to live with you anymore.

Hi all, wondering if anyone can advise on my situation below.
I am working towards permanent home working and have an OH coming up, I already had one a while ago however I felt the clinician was rushing, wanted the meeting to be over with before it even started. I had to stop them and ask them to let me speak as they would cut me off or just not let me answer- like she had an agenda of "why aren't you in the office". She had not asked questions about my glue ear much, her report stated since my operation I am doing much better (which isn't the truth), they also stated I would not be covered under the equality act 2010, though my union and I found I would be.
To let you know about my health briefly, I was classed as vulnerable and was asked to go home at the start of Covid and work from there. Kept myself pretty isolated with my family, I got Covid in July 2021 and had lingering affects until October 2021 where I was being coerced to get back into the office. I travelled to work with public transport, got ill with a chest infection and the offices were closed due to lockdown by the end of October 2021 again.
Cut a long story short, the chest infection led me getting glue ear, multiple GP appointments/ remedies and antibiotics later I was sent to an ENT specialist where I was found to have glue ear. It had been more than 6 months and was told an operation was needed to resolve the issue in part at least. My first OH before the operation said I should remain home until my operation. I didn't have my operation until November 2023.
I would like to note that before my ENT diagnosis I did try to attend the office a couple of times however I didn't feel well walking to the office, on the train and also while sitting in the office. It's not a case that I did not try.
Now, May 2024, I still have glue ear issues. Fluid still leaks out (sorry for the graphics), this fluid causes an imbalance when walking, sporadic dizziness, I have spatial awareness issues and a loss of hearing. I find it difficult to communicate as I can't drown out ambient sounds and this is a bigger issue in larger rooms with more people in.
I have been working more than effectively from home for the past 4+ years however work would like me in. I have put in an application for WFH, I have a l exemption certification from a private GP after they reviewed my records and they recommended home working. I had to decline my 2nd OH due the reasons mentioned earlier, a little nervous that the upcoming OH will be less fruitful and my condition will not be reviewed properly. I see I would be covered under the disability act but what happens if OH don't see much of an issue even though I have a GP letter.
What should I be on the lookout for?
Any advise would be appreciated, apologies for the long story

Hi Charlotte! Been wanting to post this but don't know which subreddit, but now that you're here, I can finally share it! love you, girl! It's a bit long, so please prepare yourself.
This was my cousin's (M28 - let's call him J) wedding, and I can confidently say it was shtshow from the start to the end. This story was mostly told by my mom, other cousins, and aunt. I was only able to witness what happened during the wedding itself.
BEFORE THE WEDDING
My cousin and his wife - then girlfriend (F28 - let's call her K) found out they were pregnant around early 2022, and J's MIL instantly wanted them to get married. In the beginning, the couple was hesitant because 1) they didn't have the funds & a wedding can be expensive af and 2) they wanted to prepare for the delivery of their child.
My uncle & aunt (his parent) were supportive of whatever decision they made but said preparing for the baby was more practical in their situation. MIL didn't budge and since the K followed whatever MIL said and J doesn't have a backbone lol they started planning for the wedding. Yall know where they're getting the money for the wedding? Well, MIL said to loan $4,000 from her for the wedding and told my uncle that he should be the one contributing to the wedding since J couldn't afford it, my aunt didn't want to as they had a lot on their plate already, but since my uncle is such a great guy he accepted it.
BUT THEN, my uncle's father suddenly passed away and he had to shoulder every expense for that funeral and other expenses related to my uncle's dad. It was a lot of money, and because they were grieving the wedding had to be postponed to mid-2023. I heard that MIL was so pissed at this decision and demanded to continue with the wedding and was actually fighting for it to happen, but my aunt put her foot down and said NO, and that someone very important in their family had just passed away, and that should be respected.
Fast forward to the arrival of the baby, yall MIL refused for J and K to live together because they weren't married yet, even though they already had a baby! and since K lives with MIL, nobody could protest so J had to travel 3 hrs from his parent's house to MIL's house every weekend just to be with his baby. J's sister said that it was so awkward whenever my uncle, aunt, and J's siblings would come over to MIL's house to see the baby. There was obvious tension between my aunt and MIL, cause MIL was an arrogant woman but my aunt was a feisty one lol
When the wedding planning started MIL was annoyingly involved in everything, that woman even demanded that my uncle pay for her dress and he said yes. He was actually the one who spent more money on that wedding than anyone else. My aunt obviously didn't like the fact that uncle was spending A LOT of money on this wedding, but we all knew why he kept doing it. MIL would sometimes be passive-aggressive by saying that my cousin's family can't afford this and that, so uncle had to step up and prove that they can. It was kind of immature, but who am I to judge? Anyway, this kept going until the wedding, we're not sure how much my uncle spent but it was a lot based on my aunt.
THE WEDDING A lot of us already expected something ridiculous would happen. This wedding was an all-expense paid trip for all the guests, where all of us would stay in this resort and the reception was being held in, which was also paid for by my uncle.
Now, let me list the drama that happened. A lot more probably happened but these were what stuck with me; 1. J's family had to pick up K's family at their house, including MIL. So they can all travel together. When they got there, everyone waited for them in the van except for J who personally got out to meet and greet the K's family. You guys, MIL was pissed at this because she expected everyone to get out of the van and greet HER inside the house as if she was a queen or something. We later found out about this after the wedding when MIL complained to K and demanded an apology from my aunt. my god. 2. During the reception, MIL, MIL's friends, my aunt, and other aunts were sitting at one table. MIL basically ignored my aunts' existence. There was a big bowl of food on the table and MIL openly and loudly offered it to her friends basically giving the bowl to them who were next to my aunt and then skipping past my aunt to offer it to another table. 3. When the food came out, it was so limited. The staff was even sorry about it, saying that they were told to basically give as little food as possible. We were told we could come back to get more food since it was a buffet, but when we were about to stand up to get more, we saw MIL barking orders to the staff TO HIDE THE FOOD UNDER THE TABLE. The staff was hesitant but since MIL paid for the food they couldn't really do anything. 4. My uncle saw what MIL was doing and immediately started gathering food for those that haven't eaten yet. MIL saw this happening and got very offended. We also learned after the wedding that MIL told this to K and demanded another apology from my uncle. 5. In our country, we have a tradition where during the couple's first dance everyone can give their money gift during the dance. Let's just say, that they collected a lot of money during that time, and MOH was assigned to collect it and put it in the bride's purse. I kid you not, once the MOH put the purse on the table, MIL swiftly snatched that purse as if her life depended on it.
These were the topics during and after the wedding because everyone was appalled by how MIL was acting.
AFTER THE WEDDING Now, everyone thought that it was over, but nope it wasn't. After the wedding, MIL complained to K about how disrespectful our side of the family was especially with what my uncle did in scenarios 1 & 4, and immediately demanded an apology from both my uncle and aunt. Of course, K talked to J about it and agreed to MIL, J then proceeded to text my aunt all this and demanded an apology. Hurt and offended, my aunt said no, and they argued about it, saying that our family has nothing to apologize for and MIL is very rude. K saw the messages and started arguing with J, ultimately, they couldn't get my aunt to apologize so K proceeded to kick J out of MIL's house until they received an apology.
My cousin is now back in his parent's house, still arguing with my aunt to apologize while begging his wife to see his child because K basically ghosted him and refused to let him see the baby until our aunt and uncle apologized.
Everyone in the family is pissed at K and her mom. We all feel awful for our uncle because he spent so much money on the wedding just for K and her family to block him everywhere. The last time he was able to reach out to K was when he begged her to see his granddaughter, the biatch never responded and just blocked him. He didn't deserve that disrespect, and I'd love to slap some senses on J with how he's handling this.
To K and her mom, eat shit.

Saying that "better" jobs exist is used as a mere excuse for some people not willing to work, like at all. Since people in the West always say that, but the truth is that they DO NOT want to work or burn some sweat, workers from poorer countries immigrating to Western countries that are desperate for employment don't care if the job is manual labor or sitting in an office cubicle for a long time, as long as it gives them a stable salary, since they exchange dollars, euros or pounds back into their local currencies to send back to their loved ones back home, so they remain indifferent if they are paid small, as like any other human, you need money to survive the contemporary society.
So, to put it, there is no point for people to talk shit or berate people who work minimum wage jobs (at the end, they will waste their own time for doing that), as they also play a part on maintenance, cleaniness or customer service and relations, it'll be completely stupid to get rid of garbage collectors or cleaners for example, as who else would tidy all of the mess up either on the streets or in your office? Robots can't do literally everything for you, as some interactions require humans to be around, like lawyers or doctors, since they need HUMANS (not robots) to have a more personal or clearer interaction with other people.
How can a robot be able to read your human emotions when you are upset, can it predict or assume if you have committed a crime, or what the verdict would be before the judge announces it? Are you going to lay off all human surgeons, doctors and nurses just to replace all of it with AI and robotics? People got to understand that jobs regardless if they are manual labor or not, have a purpose in their own way. (As why else have humans evolved through out history, it started from "manual labor" so there is zero reason to despite it so much.)
You might be surprised that jobs people consider "shit" have large salaries, for this reason: "It's niche, and no one wants to do it, only those who are willing to." as they are looking for those who willing choose to work in professions people consider "shit" by the masses.There is literally no reason for people to berate or talk shit about any job regardless if it is manual labor, minimum wage, or a white collar one, since human history they existed for their purpose prior to the industrial revolution and digital age, don't forget not all jobs can be replaced by robots and AI:

• If there are no HUMAN builders, who will construct all of the property?
• If there are no HUMAN doctors or nurses, who will treat you?
• If there are no HUMAN cops, who will enforce the law and arrest people?
• If there are no HUMAN lawyers, who will repesent you in court?
• If there are no HUMAN judges and jury, who will be present in court?
• If there are no HUMAN leaders, would would be in charge?
• If there are no HUMAN armed forces, what will the military consist of?
• If there are no HUMAN teachers, who will teach the students?
• If there are no HUMAN technicians, who will fix and maintain the equipment?
• If there are no HUMAN plumbers, who will be able to sort out the piping?

For instance, if there was an employer who was like:

• I'll give you $150,000 annually if you work hard with all that labor 365 days a year.
• I'll give you $70,000 annually if you just sat inside the office all day staring at a screen.

So, which one are you tempted to take despite "manual labor" job having a higher salary by this employer, as they consider that people don't want to do it, or are looking for a specific canididate who remains indifferent to the public opinion on job seeking?
I'm saying "manual labor" as some sort of placeholder, but it could be a job no one expected to exist, but has a high salary than what you'd get within an office or any typical white collar job. (No, it is not sex work, it's not even related to that, at all.)

So, people would only understand if "you've been through their shoes" as saying that someone working for minimum wage or manual labor is a "inferior" person to in comparison to somebody who is employed at a white collar job with a suit and tie, is just plain stupid. It's either that:

• Those people NEVER worked in minimum wage job in their lives, so they make assumptions of it being terrible. Only people who have worked in minimum wage jobs will TRULY know and understand what it is like first hand, rather than what people generalize the definition of that word, as they have never worked in that field, so they don't really know until they step into the same shoes as people working in minimum wage to find out first hand.
• They don't know what customer service ACTUALLY means. Other than them repeating the dictionary meaning of that word, they know nothing at all about what it is like first hand to encounter customers and being the front spectable of the general public, either nice or rude.
• Raised in a upper or top class upbringing who are brainwashed to talk crap about others. As they are from a neighborhood or familial upbringing full of rich folks who are accustomed to consider the middle class as peseants.
• They have "work experience" and "studied" listed on paper, but how does it really apply IRL? I mean, make them prove they are telling thr truth from their resume by making them apply the skills they've listed in real life, eg. You listed that you've worked for a michelin star restaurant, right? Cook me something I don't regulary encounter, but it better be good and an original recipe. If they can't apply the 'skill' they listed right there, they are liars, don't hire them.

It's like saying to garbage collectors, store clerks, couriers, uber drivers, and etc. suck, if that was the case, then they'll just walk out and NEVER come back, nowadays especially with social media, they can just brag about how they are treated, it's like a cog in a machine, if they are going to find a new one, it may not be as easy once the word spreads that the companies treat them like slaves, then people would not be interested, as they want to be treated with respect, not like an animal chained to a post.
If no one replaced those who all left, overtime they'll start to lose money and the companies who employ those sectors become defunct, even for the highest paying ones that require specific skills, still need actual humans to fill in those spots, not robots. Have you ever encountered (any of) these in real life, like at all:

• Robotic doctor, nurse, or surgeron
• Robotic police officer on duty
• Robotic CEO of a [company]
• Robotic head of an [organization]
• Robotic [President] or [Prime Minister]

You can imagine what that would do to humans, as what would be the purpose of humans existing if everything was automated, machines like all technology break down, as of now, to fix and replace their physical components within a physical body, you still need a HUMAN technician. Even the female robot living in Saudi still has a HUMAN owner, as a HUMAN created her, she did not create herself.
Put it like this, if people despite minimum wage or labor jobs so much, consider these factors:

• If there were no garbage collectors, trash will just litter the streets making it dirty and smell bad
• If there were no custodians in any public facility or street, trash and debris will just remain there
• If there was no uber driver or an uber-robot (managed by humans), who will deliver your food
• If there were no bulilders or construction workers, that means land will just remain empty
• If there were no EMTs, who in the hell will operate an ambulance
• If there are no mechanics or automotive technicians, who will repair your vehicle

Hey people,
I have a tough situation that i'm going through right now and i could use some advice to see if things can be mended or if this is not possible. This is going to be a very long one, my apologies....Even with all this, it does not contain half of the whole story. (sorry for the spelling errors, English is not my frist language)
Short background: i live in Europe and she lives in the U.S. we were planning on moving in together in my country due to family/friend issues that she had in the U.S. and after being here she found that my country felt more like home than her home. We were set to get married this year and had everything planned out. She would take her 3 dogs and her cat with her, work or study here and we would settle here. It would be a little bit of a tough start, but we would figure it out. We both had a little worry for our finances but it would be okay eventually.
pregnancy and panick: In late january of this year we found out that my then fiance was pregnant with our child. At that time i panicked over it because of the situation we were in at the time. In short, neither of us owned a house, i did not own a car, she had substantial debt to pay off, there would be 4 pets, a wife and now also a child under my responsibility and it scared the shit out of me. I'm absolutely not proud of what i did and ashamed of my behavior, but what i proceeded to do over the span of a whole weekend was the following: ask if she would be willing to go for an abortion multiple times, drink a bottle of wine and get intoxicated, buy a pack of sigarettes (i don't smoke), and basically just act inconsiderate and like a total ass.
After the weekend where i had my tantrum, i head her cry over the phone and it woke me up from my stupid behavior and i realized (too late) that i royally screwed up. I apologized for it and we talked about how angry she was and rightfully so. In that moment, again, i started to do things i shouldn't have done by: continuesly try to talk about it, fix it, and not give her space where she needed space. All i did was say "sorry sorry sorry please forgive me, sorry sorry sorry". That again, is not the way to go about it. She did ask me to fly to the u.s. to talk face to face so i booked plane tickets that same day for the next week. After 3/4 more days of that i pulled myself together (again...too late) and sent her a message stating that i know what i have done and been doing is wrong and i have a lot of difficulty not trying to fix it because i knew i messed up and hurt her and from that day i would just leave her be and not talk. Finally giving her the space she needs from me.
Anger and breakup: After all of the above in the weekend that followed, she called me and said that she had an amazing time together, but she did not see a future with me at this time. We had a long phone call about it and se said that if i were to come over to the U.S. for that week, that would be up to me but that is where she stands. So that is what i did, i came over to the U.S. and she said that we will spend this week getting to "re-know" eachother. She did say that we were still in a relationship and still engaged...which i found odd to hear but i was happy about it nonetheless. In this week i made sure to take a moment every day to sit her down somewhere and simply take a moment to apologize for my behvior and that i am incredibly sorry for what i have done. We went out to dinner a few times and just talked about everything. Though in the end it led to the same result, she did not see a future with me. I had tried a last time to have a conversation about it, but she gave me back the engagement ring and said no. Hurt by this, i went out for a long walk and just breathed and accepted that i screwed it up and went back to her saying that she is right, i will give her the space she asks for and let her go. She became angry and sad over this and said that she had just went through the fase of dealing with the breakup and now i am making her do that all over again, she started packing up all my gifts and gave it back to me. I did not understand that and am still a little confused about it. The day after, i had my flight back home and she dropped me off at the airport. she said that "despite how it looks, she still loves me" to which i said that i love her too. We hugged and siad goodbye and i left.
Back home week 1: In the first week, she had told me that i could call her 20 times a day and she would still pick up her phone. We can talk to eachother and we still love eachother and want the best for eachother. She kept me updated about the child and i was happy to simply talk to her and hear her say that she loves me. She had planned to talk to a pastor from her church which did couples counseling and wanted to first do this by herself and then together with me (over skype or zoom etc.). She gave me a book called "how to be the love you seek" and said i could listen to it on her spotify because that is exactly how she identifies and she relates a lot to this book, so i started to give it a listen and took notes of everything i thought was important. We made a plan t odiscuss teh book together over the phone soon and go over the notes that i made. We were broken up but there was hope.
week 2/3: I tried not to text her too often anymore and said that i am available at any time should she need me and will give her the space she asked for by not constantly texting. After a few days she was becoming more agitated and short in her responses. My words were often twisted in to something negative and they constantly made her angry. I didn't understand what was going on, but i thought she was angry and just wanted me to know. We had planned a phone call to discuss the book one weekend and the phone call started off by her telling me "i asked for space and it's not being respected". We taked about everything for a moment and then ended it where i told her that i love her and she said "good to hear". She said that she didn't want to say anything she didn't mean. After a week we texted a few times a day, but barely anything, just a good morning, baby update, and goodnight. I would check in on how she was doing, and that is it. I didn't know what to do or say anymore because for some reason everything was mkaing her angry regardless of what i say, and so i tried not to text her unless she texts me.
week 4 end of conversation: In the first week of march, she had her appointment with her pastor, where she would talk about us, but as she said "not in theway that i think she was going to talk about us". After the conversation she wanted to discuss it with me. though the day she had the conversation she texted me and said "i do not feel ready for a conversation, i will let you know when i am." and she asked me to make bulletpoints for the conversation. I was also not allowed to speak to her cousin anymore as she was trying to be a "middleman" for the both of us, but my ex wanted to have all the conversations between the two of us. i told her that i will do that, and i told her i also started therapy. Yet that was the last thing i have heard from her untill 2 months later.
2 monts of silence and my letters: Whle not speaking to her for 2 months I had been going to therapy twice a week and sought help for why i reacted the way that i did. I had time to reflect and started to slowly piece together a better mindset. I had noticed in the mean time that she had deleted me from social media and deleted some of the piutres she had of us. then later on deleted everything and started selling her engagement dress and date dresses she had bought and finally blocked me from social media entirely.
Late april, i thought it would be a good idea to send her a letter instead of a text. i had written page after page where i had written down the many things that i did wrong and how much shame i feel for it. In the end i realized that i was simply doing too much again and i decided to send her an envelope with 2 letters. 1 containing the many letters combined, and 1 containing a single letter that simply said (summarized) "i am sorry, i will be there for you whenever you need me, you don't have to do life on your own". She did not react to it and 2 weeks later i sent her a text asking how she was doing and if she recieved the letters. she responded by saying she did and she has been sitting with the content they contained. I offered that if there is anything she needs, she can let me know and she said "i am torn between wanting to just update you on everything but a bigger part of me is still hurt and trust entirely broken". I told her she can take all the time she needs, there's no need to pressure anything, and i will just be here if she needs anything.
She said what i can do to help is this: Be respectul, respect her boundaries, respect her wishes, and financial support. I said i can do all of that, though due to circumstances (i bought a house and a car) money is tight right now and i can't do anything right now at this moment. She said that confused her, she had no words for it and it was a good idea to stop the conversation for the day and she will let me know when she is ready to talk. that is the last i have heard from her since 2 weeks ago.
Outlook: Let me make this very clear, i know i have messed up very very badly, you don't have to tell me that. Though i would like to know what other people's take is on this situation on the future and if there are thing i could possibly do to regain the ability to talk to her so that i can support her and my child in any way that i can. If the relationship can be saved, that would be my dream, however supporting them is my number 1 priority regardless of the relationship.
TL;DR: I aboslutely destroyed my engagement by acting like an idiot for a whole damn weekend when finding out my fiance was pregnant. She broke up with me and now we have no communication whatsoever for months on end.

hi :>
i always believe that we all deserve genuine love. the type of connection where things would feel easy (you enjoy your good days together and yes, even the bad days would feel tolerable and not so bad after all), where you could have someone to talk to (whether it be random or meaningful conversations - it’s always nice to talk and learn about different things from each other), where you know you could lean on someone through good times and bad times (i lowkey sang this sa head ko hahaha), and where you can just hang out together, basking on each other’s warmth and presence, go on dates (planned or sponty), eat out or eat in, discover places, or just walk around carelessly.
ughh sounds nice, no?? who doesn’t want that?! hahahaha
— you reached this far, are you sure you wanna continue reading?
alright, your choice, too late to go back now. eme hahahahah
if i did catch your interest tho, here’s a short intro about me:

• I’m 24, F, Single, and currently living sa Qc
• on the chubby side and standing tall at 5’7
• currently a post grad student (guess nalang which school :D hahaha)
• an only child (not for the faint hearted) *not spoiled tho
• i like long walks, driving around, roadtrips, sports, food, and travelling !!!
• madaldal and bubbly (but has social cues naman and knows how to read the room, so flexible naman with the environment)
• may driver’s license (baka pagod kana mag drive, i can sub hahahaha jkjk)
• catholic
• not an apologist nor a dds (oh pls)
• reviews: malambing, sweet, very caring, good speaking voice (??), magaan and maganda kausap, good manamit, and carries herself well
• a good conversationalist, safe place lang and judge-free zone 🫶🏼
• pretty confident
• and clingy if im comfy na hahah

and these are things i prefer on a guy:

• M, 24-28 yo, Single

physical (konti lang cause chatacter >>) - height : 5’9 and above (just a preference, i just want someone taller than me) - clean cut and hygienic - knows how to dress accordingly (just someone who knows his style and feels confident, it should be more on how he carries himself for himself, gets ?? hhahahah)
non physical attributes:

• hindi takot mag commit.
• someone who prefers chubby girlies or
• preferably working na or if studying pa rin okay lang, importante may plano sa buhay :>>>
• family oriented
• socially and politically aware, yung may pake sa mga nangyayari hehe (leni dapat 🩷)
• mmm good conversationalist
• willing to engage sa any kind of conversation hindi yung puro landi only (i mean landi is cute and sweet but also it’s nice to learn something from each other iykwim)
• may paninidigan
• nice if gamer siya and sporty din sa sides
• respectful and sensitive
• catholic
• may initiative
• kaya ko sarili ko pero it would be nicer if may provider mindset ka.

**honestly, they are all preferences, don’t be afraid to message me, if we vibe, then we vibe. if we don’t, then we will respect that. be confident on what you have to offer ;)
you’ve come this far gahhahahaa
just try :>
see you sa dms ko.

Hey Good Morning
I’ve looked at a few posts but my situation is a bit different. Me and my son father are in a really healthy place regarding co-parenting.
I want to cancel the child support order. He is behind $6k bc at the time when I filed he didn’t communicate that the job he had he couldn’t pay. He told me a year later after we were in a better place agreeing to family therapy. We do well with the time split even with him working out of state. He flies us out to the different locations when I’m off on certain weekends. FaceTime is regularly for them and my only concern is him and our son to continue building their relationship.
The payments come out of his check. Fast forward now I need to do a modification and want to cancel the child support order altogether due to him receiving his passport.
The work he does the company also have opportunities for them to travel to Canada coming up and his passport was stolen out of his car I think a year ago when he was in Houston out with friends one night.
Anyways I don’t want to hold him back from getting more per diem, more money 💰 due to his goals of buying a semi truck for OTR.
I am not on welfare, food stamps, tanf any of that it’s just he owes the $6k in arrears. If I do this modification is it a chance they will cancel / remove it ?
I’m asking bc I spoke to a family attorney he told me more than likely the judge will say no. He has never had a case where a person wanted to cancel it. I make good money at my 9-5 and my business. I am also not about being spiteful and petty just bc our relationship didn’t workout. Our son comes first and what is best is both his parents prospering and working together
I just hope they cancel but I’ve read so many posts saying in TX it’s a long shot. Our original meeting was in a room with a person from OAG. We didn’t meet with a judge.

Long story short, I didn’t know my dad until later in life. He’s from a wealthy family and has a trust fund, a farm, aircrafts, etc. I am his only child and he’s not married to his girlfriend and doesn’t plan to marry her. He told my aunt that I will be getting everything and that she needs to “tell me how to be responsible with it”. Apparently she wasn’t supposed to tell me that he’s leaving everything to me but she did. He’s from a family of lawyers and judges so I know he’s put me in his will if he’s saying that. It would also explain why he asked me to write down my DOB and SSN for his accountant one of the first times we met.
Is inheriting a trust fund different than being part of the trust fund? My aunt said that usually you’d get X amount of money per year and then you could take out more for qualifying life events like marriage or starting a business or buying a house. I’ve never even had enough money to be comfortable so I don’t know how any of this works.

So I am 37(M) and my mother (73) before she passed away on 24/12 /23. The thing that happened was that my mom ended up, having health scares one after another last year. So essentially it was first when she was told to get minor cataract surgeries, this time of month last year and both her and me were busy with her tests and later surgeries in June, July. Since she had Care insurance, she applied for her cataract surgies claim - earlier both got approved for 30k each for both surgies costing almost 50k each but then suddenly they backtracked & said one claim was rejected as place where we got surgies done, was blacklisted later. Now the single 30k claim should have been deposited, right. But nope, it still stuck & since my mom later got diagnosed with stage-4 kidney cancer in September which really shocked both me and my mom as my mom's tests have always been decent, we couldn't follow up more than couple of attempts & instead got focused with dealing with the cancer situation. Irrespectively, I got her on keytruda immunotherapy asap as surgeon couldn't operate till it was reduced and my mom was indeed reacting very positively to the treatment despite some issues with side-effects. However despite my best efforts, my mother suffered a brain stroke and I had to take the difficult decision of taking her off life support while dealing with another care insurance tantrum where they rejected her icu charges when she was admitted as I rushed her to hospital while having a brain stroke. In short, I ended up paying almost 1lakh out of my pocket and still had to pay additional 2.5lakh for further processes which was further complicated by my narcissistic sister who was only around to get her inheritance & making my life hell so I had almost no time to arrange the amount as I had only 40k left. Thus I unfortunately withdrew funds from my mom's accounts (I am Nominee & had her credentials though I also refunded them once I had a more stable mindset & recovered from fevemy learning disability med issues throughout January). Either way, I initiated the Maharashtra govt ppo closure (I had refunded the amts taken from pension accounts prior to initiating paperwork) by Jan end & also approached local cbi home branch for also closing my deceased father's family pension to my mom. The branch manager directed me to this problematic deputy branch manager to whom I did admit that I had to withdraw funds from my mother's pension accounts but I have refunded them once I gathered resources(basically my sibling & family members are useless besides the fact that my sister has indulged in some criminal offenses like harassing me & my mom both before & after her death, etc while said family members did nothing besides ignoring my complicated health issues as I could have died the day my mom passed away). Since my mother also took 3 online FDs earlier in 2023, the deputy branch manager wanted me to break them & told me that individual account won't be closed & only her CIF would be directly deactivated. Also it was only few months for FDs to maturity & state govt pension closure was yet to occur - I told her that I will file for death claim settlement once state govt pension is closed & excess pension is recovered by them as deactivating the CIF will make this troublesome & a legal case. So she agreed to wait till state govt pension is closed and I gather all necessary documents in the meantime. Luckily state govt treasury did close the ppo & withdrew excess pension by 19th March while I also managed to transfer most of the mutual funds where I am Nominee. However since state govt treasury office (it's in another city from where I live & reasonably far), didn't give me letter of closure/confirmation - I was asked to wait for 1 month by local treasury officer (as financial year closing was approaching) which I informed to said deputy branch manager again. During this time, I also had to deal with legal paperwork as the lawyer my mom knew, didn't inform her or me to register the will, my mom made & also wasted my time in March. So I had to look for other ways to inherit one immovable property (my sibling holds 16.66% share and I have 83.34% as per my mom's wish to inherit the property as per her will), one problematic mf scheme transfer which I accidentally botched by editing Nominee details (still not sure as my mental health was seriously impaired in Jan/Feb & I also have same scheme, so not sure how it happened as there's no email confirmation except for an otp I found though I am not sure why I would update nominee details when I am already nominee there & even mentioned in will). Since UTI rejected both of my transmission claims so I am waiting for my current lawyer to complete the gift deed & apply for heirship certificate at municipality for filing my deceased mom's ITR. Also please note that despite timely updates to deputy branch manager, she let the FDs renew without my permission & has been acting dubious besides acting very rudely with me. So situation is,

1. I have filed compliant with cbi bank (or rather couple of them as again, I wasn't informed properly nor received proper feedback from bank plus despite calling customer care for almost 7 times, most aren't clear in their instructions as some mentioned different email-ids to complain to one asking to file a complaint with branch itself but I am not sure as branch manager said nothing despite my confrontation with deputy branch manager happening in front of him). Now I will be collecting the FDs physical certificates from branch & wait for resolution as said deputy branch manager is very suspicious(like asking me to file false FIR for missing online FDs physical certificates which I never had & whose online receipts I already have to also blaming me that I didn't tell her they were online while she wasted time & made me do a Rs500 stamp paper indemnity bond with additional documents like death certificate, AadhaPan, etc or saying there will be penalty for breaking autorenewed FDs that strangely got renewed on maturity dates without any prior indication & some things not adding up with new scheme plus the whole confusing me with different instructions & false claims all the time). Though luckily I have recorded the conversation with her first blaming me then backtracking once her fault was found. Also I atleast managed to travel to the distant city for closing state govt pension bank account & it was transferred to my savings account (it's at same problematic home branch) on 3rd May & de-activated my mom's CIF. So as bank resolution will take additional 15days to come(customer care first said 48hrs & now saying different), should I approach branch with resolution & LHC to minimize further problems despite being Nominee.(there's an error in relationship in cbi's savings account where my name & details are there but relationship is daughter instead of son but I already made Rs.100 self-affidavit as per dubious deputy branch manager instructions & all other documents including death claim form).

 

1. Applying for my mom's final ITR is necessary & I have already submitted most financial statements to my CA to compute including the TDS deducted on the FDs since I have been given July-end deadline. Plus as my mother & me spent more than 10lakh+ for her cancer treatment, I am hoping that I will get some deductible relief on her final itr besides tds. The issue is that I am still lacking any legal heirship document that will allow me to register as assessee for filing my mother's ITR. I did ask another bank where I am also nominee for mom's account, for issuing bank letter confirming Nominee details but they refused. However hopefully as I am going to execute a registered gift deed with help of my new lawyer that will mention my mom's unregistered will, I am hoping it allows me to register for the ITR. Otherwise I will have to approach local municipality office for issuing surviving family membeheirship certificate once gift deed allows me to initiate transfer property to my name.

 

1. There are still some untransferred assets such as a SBG linked to my mom's account besides the UTI scheme that's linked to same account(for uti, I already have most paperwork ready except that they asked for legal document that confirms relationship between me and my mother so while I can submit my passport copy though feeling it's better if will gets registered during gift deed process as it's mentioned there). Then there's the care insurance claim associated with same account & taken by bank officials of same bank yet it came to my attention that Care apparently messed my mom's name multiple times while issuing the policy & the claim hasn't processed as policy name & bank account name don't match (it's only a difference in middlename and could have been conveyed to my mom when she approached them multiple times). I did ask my lawyer regarding this & as amount is only 30k, he has asked me not to think about claim as for now as Care doesn't seem sincere as they haven't given it in writing that they will issue claim if I submit LHC/Registered Will with other documents. So while I will get SBG once I close the account & also uti mf scheme (hopefully), I am not sure if I should file a consumer case against Care (as an employee even misbehaved with my mom & the claim situation feels really fraudulent) or just hope that Care would honor the claim once I submit the documents.(they also only mentioned sending documents over email so again felt weird)

 
Overall all these incidents have seriously affected my health and frankly I need a break for myself as I am still struggling with my grieving (I saw my mom die 3 times & the family drama still triggers my cptsd though I am not suicidal or having med issues unlike in Jan besides still unable to take some personal time off due to these commitments). I also apologize if this post ended up too long or having details all over the place as I am still trying to piece together as much information I have as I do have written journal records of the paperwork & events that occurred though I forgot to list down some details here & there due to trying to manage everything by my own.

My ex girlfriend and I were together for 2 years and 4 months. I was his fifth boyfriend while she was my first official girlfriend (since my 2nd year h/s fling isn't included).
To give a context, I met her when she was still in a relationship with here 4th bf, tho it was about to end because she had issues against the man. my ex and I started as friends, via chat and our relationship progressed too fast that after a week, I decided to admit my feelingsfor her - with the intention to just confess then move on. But No, she also admitted about her feelings. Of course, since she was still in a relationship at that time (tho they in a cool off) we decided to stop our conversation. Unfortunately we can't. We were so attached and emotionally invested in each other that we just can't let go. My point here is that, right from the start we knew that there was something unexplainably unique about our relationship. To the point that I already believed that there is indeed destiny.
However, our relationship was not as good as it seem to others. We had so many issues, some were unresloved. But the worst (I guess) was my anger issues. I easily get disappointed to persons close to me, because I expect them to understand and know me, hence, I tend to say harsh things, yelling at people around me - an attitude which I got from my own family (of course, I'm not blaming them, but just to give a context). Nevertheless, please do note that I don't hurt people physically. For so many times she asked me to change it or else she might leave. I did promise her that I'll change, I made effort to change, and I know and she knew that I made some progress. However, I couldn't completely get rid of it, I still have that anger issues whereas I still lash out when I cannot anymore control my emotions. No matter how hard I try to change, still it seems that it's a part of me, and I guess I need pychological help.
The last time that I lashed out to her was April 6, but I was able to say sorry and make it up to her (I thought I did). However, she broke up with me at the midnight of April 16th, two two days after our monthsary: She asked me if I'll be upset if she woulf have to breakup with me. That time, I realized that maybe I just had to giver her some space because I thought that we just needed SOME time apart (because we've done it before and we even broke up for a week). But the last time was different. We broke up in good terms but after a few days she started to spite me, and even started talking with other men. (Twas too fast, I believe).
So I decided to talk to her in person (because we broke up in chat because I can't see her during those time - but also note that distance was never an issue here...) and when we met, I begged her to come back. CryingI pleaded for several times, but each time she would say no - that her decision is final. Explaining that even her friendswould look down on her if she would still enter into a relationship with me, and even her mother was already upset to me (I heard it on the phone when she called my ex while we were talking). And most of all, she said that she can't anymore wait for my growth/change. We cried. But still we had amake out and hugged each other. She even told me how she loved me so much; "but I have to choose myself this time" she said.
Now, it's been a month since our breakup. But it's still so fresh for me. I still cry even today. I'm so attached to her and dependent that I don't know how to live without her. I love her so much despite hurting her emotionally. I've sworn to myself that if ever I'll be given a chance to hsve her back, I'll never mess it up again. I know I'm do stupid for doing it too late. But you know, I still hsve this hope in me, that although her words tell that it's over, yet her actions would somehow show the contrary for many reasons, such as: 1. She still keeps all the things I gave her and she asked me to keep also some of her things like her guitar (which she said would be of more use to me than her), and she asked me to keep our picture in a frame which she used to place on her desk (because she said she would just get hurt by looking at it). 2. I told her when we met that I'll be waiting for her, so long as she doesn't have a boyfriend yet, and her reply: "please don't pressure me". If I really do not anymore have the chance, she could've instead told me not to wait anymore. 3. Although she posts and reposts about relationship problems with men - and at the same time about her current happenings with a man, which they are now in a talking stage - she still get to look at my stories, posts, and I even made a playlist on spotify wherein I invited her to join and she accepted. AND: she is used in posting her thoughts and rants about our relationship problems in Twitter, but lately ever since I started sharing my sentiments also in Threads, she also did the same! She is now posting in Threads, not anymore in Twitter - and I know so that I'll het hurt, and at the same time I'll get to know (or st least, have an idea) about her current life happenings.
4.Also, she still asked me to attend her graduation.

1. Lastly, in EVERY letter she wrote to me, she told me about how much she loves me (always / forever) and how much she looks forward to marry me. I still hold on to that until now. Because of thise words and actions she have shown, I am still hoping that she will return.

Damn, I love that girl so much that I am willing to give up anything for her (even though I find it too hard to change my attitude despite my serious efforts). But.. but, I badly want to change, I just don't know how I'll do it successfully. I promised myself that she will be the last girl I will ever lov in my life. After all, I don't think there is still love left to give to another when I gave it all to her.
Please, I need your opinions. So my questions are: 1. Is it still possible to fix our broken relationship? 2. If yes, what should I do, provided that she asked me not to contact her for a while? (No specific time frame was provided). 3. My guts tell me that I have to do something or else I'll lose her entirely since she's starting to tall to other men (tho according to her are just for fun), however, the fact that she told me not to have contact with her temporarily, I'm stumped whether I should talk to her and when should I.
Thank you, I hope you'll have the patience and kindess to read this.

Demographics

• Gender: Male
• Race/Ethnicity: Indian
• Residence: Massachusetts
• Income Bracket: Upper Middle Class
• Type of School: Mediocre Public school
• Hooks: Immigrant but US Citizen
• Intended Majors & Minors: Applied Math, AI, Entrepreneurship, Engineering & Computer Science

Academics

• GPA (UW/W): 4.0/4.6
• Rank (or percentile): 8/300
• Classes: 12 APs, 3 Dual-Enrolments
• Senior Year Course Load: 3 APs (Computer Science, Chemistry, Psychology) 3 Dual-Enrolments (MIT OCW Linear Algebra, MIT OCW Multivariable Calc, English), Teacher Assistant for Calculus and Teacher Assistant for AP Physics C

Standardized Testing

• SAT: 1570 (770RW, 800M)
• AP Exams: Calculus AB (5), Physics 1 (5), Statistics (5), World History (5), Physics C: Mechanics (5), Calculus BC (5), AP CSP (4), US History (4), Lang (3)
• AMC 12: 136.5 (Top 200)

Awards/Honors

• Coca-Cola Scholar (150 Selected from 100K+)
• Harvard Guest Speaker on AI & ChatGPT in Education (6K+ Listeners). The Harvard Gazette wrote an article on me.
• MIT Hackathon 3rd place winner 2x (AI Recipe Generator & AI Therapist)
• Presented at International Education & Social Justice Conference (Peer-reviewed) at University of Hawaii
• MIT LLCipher Summer Program (3% Acceptance Rate). Invited back as Guest Speaker the following year.
• Wrote Boston Globe Article on AI & ChatGPT in Education
• AMC 12 Distinction (2x) and AIME Qual (2x)
• President's Volunteer Service Gold Award
• AP Scholar with Distinction & AP Scholar with Honor
• Multiple other Math Competition, Model UN, and Marching Band Awards

Extracurriculars/Activities

• MIT Lincoln Laboratory Summer Intern: Advanced Research in AI & Networking (1% Acceptance Rate). Internship primarily for Grad and Undergrad students. Received a return offer for summer before college.
• Writer: 110+ articles on Medium with 200K+ reads. Published by the Boston Globe and other publications.
• Antarctic Research: Climate Research and Data Analysis at UW-Madison.
• MA State House Internship: Worked for State Rep. Wrote a policy brief on AI. Promoted to Campaign Manager in 2024.
• Math Team Coach & Captain: Coach students and top scorer. 4x Regional Champions (First time in history). 2x AIME qual and 2x AMC Distinction (AMC Score: 136.5).
• Students of Color Affinity Group President: Mentor students and lead professional development workshops; presented at International Education & Social Justice Conference at University of Hawaii.
• AP Physics C & Calculus Teacher Assistant: Help teach 70+ seniors at my school (ran out of classes hence TA lol).
• Model UN President: Perfect record and multiple awards at regional conferences.
• Karate Black Belt: 10+ years and help teach classes.
• Marching Band: 2nd in USBands Nationals (3x).
• Coding Instructor: Taught kids how to code in Python and JavaScript.
• Sales Head & Data Analyst at National STEM Honor Society: Promoted STEM education to underrepresented populations.
• JV Tennis: Doubles Player

Letters of Recommendation

• AP Calculus Teacher
• Math Department Head and Physics TeacheMath Team Coach
• MIT Lincoln Lab Research Mentor (MIT Alum)
• Diversity, Inclusion, and Equity Director of my school (Harvard Alum)
• Massachusetts State Representative

Essay Summaries

• Common App: During the pandemic, I found personal growth and a deeper understanding of myself and society through writing, which led me to explore artificial intelligence and its applications, culminating in an internship at MIT and advocacy work, and inspiring my entrepreneurial ambitions.
• Community Disruption: When the pandemic disrupted my activities, I leveraged online platforms to continue learning and leading, discovering new interests in AI and entrepreneurship, and demonstrating resilience by revitalizing my school’s clubs and engaging in new ventures, setting the stage for my future in innovation.
• Additional Information: Links to various articles and videos, and other activities and awards.
• Supplementals: Some were very reflective about my identity, activities, and goals in life. Others were light-hearted and quirky. They were very personalized to the school and emphasized how I fit in, what I would bring to the school, and how I would use the school as a catalyst for my entrepreneurial ventures.
• Additional Uploads: Uploaded my Resume, portfolio of Articles, and a summary of my Research at MIT Lincoln Lab.

Interviews

• Harvard (REA): Great Conversation and said Harvard would have to fight MIT for me. 9/10
• MIT: My Interviewer was very disinterested and didn't care. It was 15 minutes and he said if I don't get in then who would. 6/10
• Princeton: It was a great conversation and said he would fight for me. 8/10
• Yale: It was also a good conversation and she said she would fight for me. 8/10
• UPenn M&T: Guy kept asking technical questions and I was lost. But in the end, he said I did good and he would fight for me, even though interviews don’t matter too much. 7/10
• Dartmouth: Lady was super impressed and said if I don’t get in then she is quitting doing interviews for Dartmouth. 9/10

College Results
Accepted

• WPI (with Max Scholarship, Half off)
• UW-Madison
• Northeastern (with Max Scholarship, Half off)
• Georgia Tech for CS (Early Action)
• Cornell (Meinig Family Cornell National Scholar)
• Dartmouth
• Duke
• UPenn (Waitlisted M&T)
• Harvard (Waitlisted → Accepted)
• Princeton (Committed)

Waitlisted

• UMich (Early Action)
• Vanderbilt

Rejected

• USC (lol)
• Yale
• Stanford
• MIT (This one hurt)

Reflections:
I'm super grateful and happy with my decisions. I have committed to Princeton, and it definitely is the best fit for me. College results this year were very random, but I couldn’t be more thankful to get into the #1 undergraduate university. I was worried that since most of my application was MIT-related (Research, classes, Letters of Rec, Awards, Activities), other universities would think I was going there and reject me. College results were super random and stressful, but it worked out better than I could have ever imagined. It's funny how I got waitlisted and rejected from all my target schools (Vandy, UMich, USC) but then got into most of my reach schools.
Advice for Future Applicants:
Be authentic. There is no formula that gets you in. Sure, you have to do a couple of things like getting good grades and SAT scores and having some unique activities and awards, but especially for Top 10 schools, you just have to be unique and authentic. I didn't have any connections or background (like private school and college counselor) that provided me with opportunities. I was literally the first kid ever from my school to get into Princeton. I was authentic and hardworking, did stuff I enjoyed, and one thing led to another. I also spent a lot of time on essays and my application. 50% of the work is actually doing stuff, and the other 50% is showcasing it in your college application. Also, have balance in life. I had a lot of fun in high school and enjoyed the stuff I did. Live life with no regrets. Feel free to DM me.

My nmom emailed me (28F) for the first time after 6 years of no contact. Picture the longest email you’ve ever received and multiply that by ten. Thats how long this email was. It would take hours to read. I foolishly reached out to her on Mother’s Day after being sad and alone. All I said was happy Mother’s Day I hope you’re doing okay.
A little background my mom was highly abusive to me as a child mentally. I’m an only child. She once made me pack my Barbie suitcase when I was 7 and drove me to the police station saying if my attitude didn’t stop that she was going to give me up and I’d never see her or my family again. She completely alienated me from my dad who I didn’t meet until I was 14 after I found him on Facebook. I got pregnant in highschool and she convinced me that my boyfriend was abusive and tried to alienate him in the same way that she alienated my dad. She did a lot of other really terrible shit in my 23 years but I won’t bring all that up.
I won’t read her email. I read the first two sentences and one or two after some of the bolded and red coloured headings. She has not changed. Somehow she managed to get worse which I didn’t think was possible. 😆 Blaming me for things I did wrong when I was four years old lol Blaming me for her cancer she had 9 years ago and if it comes back “that’s on your head”. It’s wild how she still thinks this way.
In the end it gave me closure. She stopped answering my texts 6 years ago and I eventually stopped reaching out. But she still claims I was the one who cut off contact and stole her grandchild from her.
If you’ve gone full no contact keep in mind that if you do reach out this could happen. Narcissists almost never change. I’m happy that after years of therapy, that I’m still in, I was able to respond in the way I did. She lives off of reactions and that’s what I used to always give her. I’m glad I’m genuinely okay after that email and that I’m even able to laugh at how delusional she is. Going no contact was the best thing I ever did and I’m glad I got closure.
Here was my response:
“Judging by the first two sentences you're not ready to take full accountability for everything starting from the time I was born until 2018. I am ready to take accountability for everything. However, I will not be reading this email. It seems as though you are still focusing on the past and blaming me for everything.
I wanted to try to communicate to move past everything that has happened. I understand that Our relationship will never be the same. But I wanted to work toward moving on.
When you're ready to move forward I will gladly talk to you. The ball is in your court. But I stand firm on my boundaries of it being a safe and respectful conversation. I am deleting this email now.
Take care and I do genuinely hope you're doing okay.”

I met Luna on a train two years ago. I’d just escaped from a toxic relationship, so romance was the last thing on my mind, but then she sat across from me in the carriage and asked about the book I was reading. She had a copy in her bag and wanted to know if it was any good.
I'd never felt such an instant, effortless connection with anybody before. I took a chance and asked her to dinner, and by the time the waiters cleared away our desserts, I already felt comfortable being vulnerable around her. So we went on a second date. And a third. And next thing I knew, we were planning our second anniversary.
In all that time she never gave off any 'creeper' vibes. Until a few months ago, when I stayed the night over at her place...
She'd gotten up early to use the bathroom. I grabbed her laptop off the side desk so I could catch up on some work e-mails, and the incognito tab was just sitting there. My first thought was: either she's having an affair or she's got a secret fetish.
What I found instead was a Google account with a photo album called ‘Michael’s EX’. In it, there were 427 photos of my former girlfriend turned psycho stalker, Sadie. This included shots of ‘Sadie the stalker’ with her family, screenshots of her passport—the works. On Facebook, Sadie's latest post said Moving to the Philippines, and since then she’d become a social media church mouse, so how did Luna keep her under surveillance? And how did you even get PERSONAL ID from a person halfway across the globe?
Down the hall, I heard the bathroom door swing open. Quickly I closed the laptop and pretended to be asleep until Luna planted a kiss on my lips. “Wakey wakey Bugs.”
I faked a stretch. “Morning Lola."
(At school, the other kids christened me ‘Bugs’ because of my cartoonishly large front teeth; I called Luna ‘Lola’ because of her blonde bangs and heart-shaped face.)
“How about we grab a fry for breakfast?” Her smile didn’t seem genuine, more like she was wearing a mask.
“Crap. I forgot I’m doing overtime today, I’ve gotta get to work.” With that, I shot out of there faster than a bullet train to Tokyo.
Because I didn’t wanna believe the worst about someone I cared so deeply about, I didn’t contact the police (not that anybody could’ve guessed what Luna was up to) and made excuses whenever she asked to meet, delaying the decision whether to end our relationship.
At night, I couldn’t sleep. Every time a hedge rustled outside, I’d run to the window and pull back the curtain only to discover a black cat skulking around the garden. I put this down to my previous relationship leaving me with a mountain of unresolved PTSD.
Sadie the stalker also seemed normal until we moved in together. After that she started picking fights if she caught me talking to another woman, even just distant relatives or childhood friends. The screaming matches went from weekly to nightly, only ever ending when I conceded to her every wish and gave her full access to my phone and social media accounts. I literally needed to grab my clothes into a bag and run away one night, and then I started hearing noises outside my new apartment. And although I never found any evidence, I was pretty sure she’d broken in at one point because the books on my side table were suddenly out of order one day. What hurt the most was Luna knew all this and still acted the way she did.
Right as I reached my lowest point, my close friend Gertrude called and said, “The universe is telling me you could use a sympathetic ear.”
I told her the universe didn’t know the half of it.
I’d met Gertrude—aka my surrogate mother—on a flight to London. Passing over Wales the aircraft hit heavy turbulence, and the grey-haired hippie in the seat next to mine squeezed my hand so tight that my fingers turned blue. After we levelled off, she apologized and said, “So what’s calling you to London?”
“A job.”
A few glasses of wine from the service trolley later, she blurted out, “You know your aura is strikingly similar to my husbands.”
“Uhh, thanks. Where is he now?”
“Oh, he burned to death in a house fire.”
Gertrude’s eyes started welling up. To take her mind off the subject, I said, “I lied earlier. I’m going to London because I fell in love with a Londoner.” I pulled up pictures of Sadie (back in her pre-stalker days) on my phone. “We met in Italy. She looked flustered trying to read a map book so I offered to help. Next thing I knew, we were planning a trip to this place called Orvieto.”
“Michael, I need to know how this story ends. Gimme your number.”
Since then, we’d met two or three times a year.
I laid the whole mess out over pizza. It was the first time since finding the Google account I didn’t feel hidden eyes crawling all over me.
Just as I wrapped up the story, over in the corner booth, a family burst into a chorus of happy birthday. A waiter appeared carrying a chocolate cake, capped by a giant candle that looked more like a flare. Gertrude tensed up.
“So what do you think about all this?” I asked.
She looked back at me and said, “It’s possible your reaction has been a touch on the dramatic side.”
“DRAMATIC??”
“Well consider things from Luna’s point of view. Your last relationship lasted for, what, three years? Maybe she felt threatened.”
“I don’t believe this.” I grabbed a cigarette from my pocket, but Gertrude snatched it away.
“You know how I feel about you poisoning your lungs, Michael.”
“Don’t you start. I got enough of that crap from Luna.”
Gertrude always encouraged me to work through my romantic problems. Ultimately, I decided her love of fairytale romances clouded her judgement and ghosted Luna instead. But I couldn’t escape her shadow. She always felt close. In fact, it got so bad that at a friend’s costume party several weeks later, my eyes kept compulsively scanning the crowd as if she was there in disguise, ready to pounce.
I stood off to the corner until, over the sea of heads, I spotted a beautiful stranger dressed as Jarlath the Goblin King. I took a shot of liquid courage and made a B-line towards her.
Halfway across the crowded room, beer splashed across the front of my Ziggy Stardust outfit.
“I am so sorry,” a female pirate said, patting me dry.
“Don’t worry about it.” Every time I tried circling her, she moved to cut me off.
“I am such a klutz. Why don’t you come into the kitchen so I can clean up this mess?”
I put my hands on her shoulders and steered her out of the way. “It’s fine. Trust me.”
Approaching Jarlath from behind, heart slamming against my chest, I said, “Well this is awkward. One of us is gonna have to change.”
Jennie had bright blue eyes and dimples impossible to miss. Ten minutes into our debate about David Bowie’s greatest album, I said, “You know Absolute Bowie are playing the Half Moon next week. I could take you?”
“Sorry. I’m going with my boyfriend,” she said with a sympathetic smile. From beside the buffet table, the pirate stared daggers in our direction.
“No worries,” I replied, despite the fact I was brimming with jealousy.
The next day, as I jogged off my hangover, a brown-haired lady cut across my path and we both went spinning to the ground.
“Flip, sorry.” I rushed to pull her up by the hands. “I’m like a bloody zombie lately.”
She did a doubletake. “Ziggy, right?”
There was no mistaking those eyes. “Jarlath?”
“Well, Jarlath or Jennie. Eithers fine.”
“Right. Well, sorry again. Enjoy Absolute Bowie.”
Before I could jog away, she said, “Hey, so that guy I was seeing? Turns out he’s a total prick.”
Jennie and I went for coffee. Coffee morphed into drinks. Drinks morphed into a steamy make-out session on my sofa.
But as she covered my neck in soft kisses, my stomach turned. It felt like cheating. So, I put the brakes on things and said, “I can’t do this. I’m really sorry. You’re amazing, but I just got out of a serious relationship…and…it’s just…”
“Hey, don’t worry about it.”
We agreed we’d let our connection blossom in its own time.
Jennie had a playful mystique to her. Within a handful of dates, we’d developed inside jokes and could tell what the other was thinking. But Luna’s imprint was hard to shake, to the extent I almost mixed up the two ladies’ names multiple times.
To detox, I suggested Jennie and I spend a romantic weekend in the Lake District, because after two days of hiking and kayaking my ex would no doubt be a spec in the rearview mirror.
Hours before we set off, however, Luna’s mom called. She wanted to meet and wouldn’t accept any excuses.
“Look, it’s obvious why I’m here,” she said, sitting across from me in Starbucks. “Ever since you and Luna broke up, she’s been acting…different.”
“Different? Different how?”
“I call but she hardly answers. I go over to her place but she’s never there. Now she’s telling me she needs to find herself. Says she’s moving to Australia.”
Her fingers tightened around her cup. “I need to know what happened between you two. And I don’t care if that paints anybody in a bad light. I’m just worried about my daughter is all.”
I told her about the Google account.
“Did you confront her about it?”
“Hell no. I ghosted that crazy bitc—” I cleared my throat. “I mean, I just…stopped seeing her.”
She started crying so loudly customers at nearby tables paused their conversations. I touched her forearm, promised I’d call if I remembered anything else, then set off for my romantic weekend.
But while Jennie and I enjoyed all that fresh air and pub food, a thought nagged at me. Luna adored London, so why move to Australia? It seemed so out of character. Back at our rented cottage, I was so fixated on the thought I needed a smoke, badly.
“What the hell is that?” Jennie demanded, as she stepped onto the front deck.
I glanced at my hands. “Uhh, a cigarette.”
“Michael! Don’t be sarcastic. You know how I feel about those things.”
“…Do I?”
“Uhh, well it’s the same as anybody else. Quit poisoning your lungs and put that thing out.”
“Alright alright, geeze. Sorry Luna.”
“That’s okay.”
A knot formed in my stomach as she went back inside. I’d called Jennie Luna by mistake. And she hadn’t noticed. In fact, her reaction to me smoking was identical to Luna’s—even the snappy way she said the ‘poison your lungs’ line.
I followed Jennie into the lounge, where she’d curled up on an armchair with a Colleen Hoover novel. She was hiding something. What else did she know about Luna? Maybe I could trick her into revealing some details…
From behind, I started massaging her shoulders. “Sorry for being rude before. I know what you said came from a place of love.”
“That’s okay.”
I waited until her eyes drooped shut, then said, “It really is perfect here, huh? Maybe we should stay forever.”
“Wouldn’t that be amazing?”
Her little groans of pleasure, the rhythm of her breathing, it all felt so familiar. I waited until the tension in her neck dissolved, then I pushed my lips against her ear and whispered, “So how about we take this into the bedroom…Lola.”
“Hmm. Sure thing Bugs.”
My hands froze. Jennie jumped up. “Uhh, that felt so good, why’d you stop?”
“What did you just say?”
“What did you just say?”
“I called you Lola,” I replied, my arms frozen in midair. “And you called me bugs.”
“Like the cartoon, right? I thought it’d be a cute nickname. Anyway, I’m tuckered out.” She forced a yawn. “Why don’t we get some sleep?”
As her hand laced with mine, an image of me waking up drugged and gagged and tied to the bedposts flashed before my eyes.
I said, “Sure. I just…need to use the bathroom first.”
The second the door shut behind me, I flew out of the house, climbed in my car, and sped away.
Within seconds my phone started blowing up with calls, followed by texts. Where are you going? Is everything okay?
No, I wanted to reply. I’m onto your sick little game. Whatever it is, I’m onto it.
Luna stalked my stalker, now Jennie somehow knew Luna and I’s nicknames. How? Did all women take turns drawing straws and whoever picked the short one needed to become my girlfriend?
I couldn’t go home. For all I knew, my exes would’ve been there burning effigies of me. I needed a safe place. Somewhere I could lie low until I got all this straightened out.
“Of course you can stay,” Gertrude said over the phone. “I’m out with some friends, but I’ll meet you later. If you hop the side gate there’s a spare key under the kissing gnomes out back.”
Gertrude lived in a detached house in Wembley. It took a bit of foraging to find the gnomes hidden beneath the weeds in the brown, patchy garden.
I needed to shoulder the door open. Inside, a mountain of letters and flyers had piled up on the welcome mat.
Down the hall, a huge archway connected the landing with a lounge, where a bar sat against the far wall, surrounded by upholstered sofas, a low table, and tie dye sheets strung over the filthy carpet. Everything had a real elegant vibe, despite the musty air.
I’d drained two glasses of whiskey before Gertrude arrived.
“Looks like you’ve had a rough evening.”
I said we could talk in the morning.
“Not a chance. You can’t take negative energy to bed. Come on, confession is good for the soul.”
She sat on the sofa and patted the empty seat next to her. So, with a weary sigh, I shared a tale of deranged exes.
“Crazy,” she said.
“I sure can pick ‘em, huh?”
“No, I mean you’re crazy.”
“What?”
“Think about it. What’s more likely: that your ex’s are secretly in collusion, or you’re being paranoid? Look how bloodshot your eyes are. When’s the last time you got a good night’s rest?”
She made a great point; teenagers on the street occasionally shouted ‘Bugs’ or ‘Thumper’ at me. Jennie might’ve come up with the nickname herself. I pinched the bridge of my nose, groaning.
“Look, sleep here tonight. Tomorrow we’ll brainstorm ways you can make it up to Jennie.”
I fumbled through my pockets for a cigarette.
“Really?” Gertrude said. “If you insist on poisoning your lungs, can you at least do it away from my home?”
“Well if I can’t smoke, I’m gonna need a refill.” I shook my empty glass.
On my way toward the bar, a wave of wooziness hit me. My first instinct was to blame it on the alcohol, but there was something else.
It was her reaction to the cigarette. My finger ran through the thick layer of dust along the bar’s countertop. Why was it like the place had been abandoned? Why did Gertrude always pressure me to stay with my psycho girlfriends? And how come she always reached out, as if on cue, whenever my relationships hit problems? It couldn’t be coincidence…
I poured two glasses of whiskey and carried them to the sofa. “So, you’re really against the whole smoking thing, huh?”
“Of course. It’s a filthy habit.”
“Yeah. Plus, there was that mess with your husband. House fire, right?”
“I’d rather not discuss it.”
“Sure, sure.” I ignited the lighter with a roll across my trouser leg.
Gertrude grabbed a cushion and hugged it. “What are you doing?”
“Alright, cut the crap. What the hell’s going on? Have you been sending your friends to date me?”
“What are you talking about?”
I wrestled the cushion from her and held the lighter beneath it. “I want an explanation right now or I’m torching this place.”
This was an empty threat. I wasn’t some pyromaniac—I just wanted answers. Inch by inch, I raised the flame. “Last chance. Why are the women in my life acting weird?”
Gertrude grabbed for the lighter. As I swatted her wrists away, we both got scorched, and for a moment her skin went wild with spasms, a sensation I can only compare to reaching inside a bucket of wet, writhing maggots. My gaze whipped between her face and her hands, which vibrated like plucked guitar strings.
Before I could scream, she yanked me up, clamped a cold, wrinkled palm across my mouth, and forced me against the wall. I thrashed around, unable to move. For a lady old enough to collect a pension, she was crazy strong.
She waited until I ran out of breath, then said, “Michael, please. I’m not going to hurt you. Open your heart and listen.”
What else could I do?
“You were right before. I have been keeping a secret from you. The truth is, I’ve been in love with you since we met. I’d never flown before. And you were so so sweet. You started talking about this other woman, but I knew our energies were perfect for each other. And it’s like I always say, love makes us do crazy things. You can’t begrudge me that can you?”
She looked as if she expected me to respond, so I shook my head.
“But I think we’ve reached a point where our connection is so deep we can be completely transparent with one another.” She took a slow, steady breath. “Michael, all your ex’s, Luna, Sadie, Jennie. They’ve all been…well, me.”
I stared at her, confused.
She sighed. “It’ll be easier if I just show you.”
Out of nowhere her hand wriggled again, then her face tightened, as though the skin was being stretched over the bone. Wrinkles smoothed out and colour bled into her grey hair, turning it brown, and within seconds I found myself face-to-face with Jennie. Even her vintage clothes morphed into a green blouse and white slacks.
“See?” she said in Jennie’s voice, her now blue eyes locked on mine.
I screamed into the soft flesh of her palm.
“Sssh, it’s okay. I’m not gonna hurt you. Watch.”
Her entire body jerked and twitched, the muscles spasming as she shifted from Jennie to Luna. “See? Think of these as costumes”—from Luna to Sadie—"the important thing is what’s underneath. And you’ve fallen in love with what’s underneath three times. Now I’m going to let go, but I need you to promise you won’t overreact. Understand?”
On the verge of a panic attack, I nodded furiously.
The second she pulled away I made a break for the exit. The thing posing as Sadie grabbed me and hurled me backwards against the wall.
Like a disappointed teacher, she put her hands on her hips. “I’ve been so patient with you, Michael. So very, very patient.”
She blocked off any hope of escape. I sidestepped around the outer edge of the room, towards the bar.
“All those years moulding you. Trying to grow you into the man I know you can be. I really thought we had it this time. For the record, I wanted to do this the easy way. But drastic times...”
I was so scared I slammed right into the cabinet and yelped. Glass bottles chattered together, and then something wet ran down the back of my shirt. It was whiskey, leaking from the overturned bottle onto the carpeted floor.
Speaking more to herself now, Gertrude said, “I’ll just have to keep you here until you love me as much as I love you. Of course, that means posing as you so nobody gets suspicious, but that’s no trouble. I’ll tell your dad you’re moving to Italy. You always loved Italy.”
Pose as me? She'd been killing my ex's and taking their place, I was just the latest in a long line. She’d keep me as a personal sugar baby if I didn’t escape, but how? She was impossibly strong, and the only thing that seemed to scare her was…
Snatching the bottle, I doused the remaining whiskey all over the carpet and furniture. As I flicked the lighter open, Sadie’s hands shot up.
“Bugs…darling…what are you doing?”
I took three slow, steady breaths. “Breaking up with you, you crazy bitch.”
I tossed the lighter forward. Within seconds flames sprung up all around us, spreading as far as the sofa. Sadie’s shoe caught fire, and as she stamped around, unintentionally fanning the blaze, her body writhed again, starting with the ankles. Fat boils climbed up every inch of exposed skin, milky white and with the consistency of frog spawn, like she’d had a killer allergic reaction to poison ivy.
She dropped to her knees, wailing like a wounded animal. This was my chance.
I made a break for the exit, giving the creature as wide a berth as possible. But as I got one foot planted in the hall something clamped tight around my ankles. My chin hit the floor, then I started sliding backwards.
I twisted onto my back. Where Sadie’s left arm should’ve been, a tentacle-like appendage stretched across the length of the room, a distance of over twenty feet. It reeled me toward her like a fish on a line. Whatever that thing was no longer looked human. It melted like an ice statue, with no bones or connective tissue inside, its lips nose and mouth becoming hideously elongated before dripping off in huge globs like melted candlewax. A fire alarm started wailing as the tentacle dragged me through the flames, scorching my arms and legs.
The loose mass of skin reached out and encased me like a mother bird sheltering its eggs.
“WHY WON’T YOU LOVE ME?” all my ex’s voices screamed at once. Whichever direction I looked, silhouettes of faces rose and fell, as if trying to burst through. Parts of them dripped inside my mouth, disgustingly warm with a bitter taste worse than Vaseline.
I put everything into clawing my way out if there. What was left of the beast had the consistency of wet clay and came apart just as easily. I tore away chunks until there was a hole large enough to squeeze through. Then, I crawled along surrounded by black smoke.
At the far side of the room I risked a glance back and saw a bumpy, uneven hand reaching out of a puddle of ooze. Soon I was crawling over the bristly welcome mat, then fumbling for the door. All I remember after that are paramedics wrestling me into an ambulance…
A specialist officer came to see me at the hospital the next morning. They’d been unable to contact the homeowner, Gertrude Huyton, and through his line of questioning I could tell they hadn’t found her ‘remains’ inside the charred house. Like the wicked witch of the West, my stalker had melted. I told the officer she said I could stay the night, and that I probably started the fire by dropping a cigarette.
“In that case, we’ll keep trying to reach her.” He walked to the curtain surronding my bed and paused. “Oh, and I almost forgot to mention, her cat is missing.”
“Her...cat?”
“Yeah. The little black one. One of the firemen pulled it out of the wreckage. The poor thing had burns over its legs but it ran off before anybody could take it to the vet.”
I swallowed a gulp and thanked him for telling me.
And now I’m still sitting here listening while nurses rush back and forth, terrified any one of them might be Gertrude…

For a while, whenever I'm in the congregation, I feel like everyone around me are devil disguising as a church worker or MTs. Why? Because most of them especially if you're someone who have a rare duty like organist etc, they always look up and down to you. Even when I'm playing organ at CWS service, the higher ups of CWS aren't happy to see me as their organist even I didn't do nothing to them like they look like so masungit and parang naiirita whenever I'am the one who will play the organ. The disgusting part is that they never check on me nor asking me if i'm fine, they just sit there and wait for the devotional prayer. While I'm playing in the organ, there is a slight problem inside my hymnals that affects my performance and since I can't see the piece that I'm performing therefore I cannot perform it well causing to have mistakes while playing that piece. After that piece that I played, I quickly make a remedy to let me continue my performance and in relief I quickly get back to the rythm what i meant is i recovered from the mistakes I had earlier. Fast forward, the CWS ended and after that unexpected turn of events of mine, it ended well and I perform well after what happened.
I'm just quite disappointed, though I had some mistakes also but the way they judged me and reported me is way too harsh. I don't know why, its just a piece of sheet that i didn't perform well but they reported it that I had many mistakes during the whole CWS service.
I'm also irritated to the higher ups MTs in our locale because whenever I became absent or I have unexpected changes of chedule for my duty they'll always (parinig) in our meetings or practices. Their eyes are always focused whenever there are someone absent in their duty whenever it is a validreason or not.
The thing that most drained me is that they always obligated us to attend unneccesary events like pamamahayag, again and again pulong, cfo activities that are boring and out of context, the monthly meeting of kapisanan which were also boring and sometimes the topic is not about for us but for some professionals only.
I'm also drained to the oasteur of our locale because he always obligates us whatever activity it is that will be held in our district and always do "patama" towards the brethencthat aren't unite to them.
I just realize that this church is the opposite of humanity, whenever you have problems they tell you to stop having the problems, whenever you have sick or cold theyvwill counter us like "if your duty is within your heart then it will not stop you from performing your duty". Lastly, whenever you feel depressed or anxious they will tell you that we aren't allowed to be anxious because we have God
I'm now so drained in this church, If i just can get out of this and no one will be affected(family) then I will do it.
I just loved my parents since both of my siblings are out in the church due to discovering this church isn't true. I don't want my parents to be feel worthless and sad(since they're an owe) that's why I will stay for the sake of my parents

(Only Europe, Please) - short note - If you're not into reading or receiving long messages,don't read any further + Please If you don't want to read everything because of my post being too long for you & instead of reading It all - ..skip some parts - find another person to talk to.Let's respect each other and our free time. All people criticizing/making fun of me & other people - will be blocked.Pretty much as people questioning my post and giving me unsolicited advice.I'm not here for any conflicts and I know I can't please everyone - I know I never will.. However It's me who should feel comfortable in my new potential friendship & obviously someone who wants to be my friend - not the whole world.. which is why I don't need any advice from people who don't even want to be a part of my life. The amount of rude people on Reddit always criticizing others and making fun of them is unbelievably high but let me tell you something - NEVER let anyone make choices for you and criticize you only because you're different! Always fight for your dreams and never let anyone make you think you're worthless! It's your life and you're the one deciding what's best for you - If you want to judge me despite not even wanting to talk to me or give me advice better block me! I'm an adult woman and I make all decisions on my own.I'm not trying to "fit in" and be like everyone else - just to get more attention.Accept me for who I am or let go - is my motto.
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Hello guys! 🙂 (read everything before you decide to send me a message) Please send me a message ONLY If you're in the same situation and If your expectations are the same as mine.I want to find like minded people from Europe (Why Europe? Read my post to find out) I'm looking for something permanent (remember - you can feel lonely even If you're surrounded by others - If there's no emotional bond) I'm fed up of meeting people who never make time for me & only text me once or twice a week to ask me "what are you up to?" Out of boredom.I don't want to meet people asking others a million of questions like "what's your favorite movie?" Just to give them one word answer and ask them another question "and music? Your favorite song?" I'm looking for something "deeper" & different 🙂
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What kind of friend would I like to find? Someone to talk to on a daily basis - Someone who needs It & wants It just as much as me
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What are my expectations? I would like to meet someone in a similar situation – why? Because I honestly feel like only a person with the same expectations and a similar outlook on life would get along with me & because I feel more comfortable talking to people like me..Friendless people who need a strong bond - people without friends and partners.. Don't get me wrong…Most people deserve to be happy and It's good to have friends but people who have friends or families in real life are usually more focused on them (which is completely understandable) & have less time for others + I simply don't want to be replaced by anyone..I kind of envy people who can call others , true friends given I don't have an emotional bond with any of my acquaintances. Please send me a message only If you're not In a relationship and don't have friends for the same reasons I've already mentioned before
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Whenever I hear that others have friends I simply get sad because (believe it or not) If I had to choose between 20 people to talk to (acquaintances) and one special person - I'd choose that one special person without any hesitation .
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I also want to talk to others every day because..I want to see someone’s effort & be someone's first choice - not another person to have random conversations with..some people ask me "Why do you want to talk to people from Europe?" Well..Because I would like to see someone I'd get along with - In the far future - face to face :) + I don't want to wait any longer than 6 hours to receive a message - waiting 6 hours to receive a message is more than enough
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I'm by no means criticizing people who don't want to talk to others often / People who really are super busy & People who want to find someone to have unimportant conversations with - I'm aware that not everyone has the same expectations which is why everything you're reading now - is here for a reason :) All I'm suggesting is - I don't want anything temporary and I don't want to be the one always giving more than receiving.Listen people - I used to ignore being..ignored by others..always being just an option to talk to during tough times or moments of boredom.I was too young to realize that I was never important enough for most people that were a part of my life. I don't know who needs to hear this but..No one is too busy to make time for you! People make excuses to avoid others because they prioritize everything and (maybe) everyone..over them. It's true that most people are busy - but It takes only a few seconds to start a conversation (If you're into short messages) and a few minutes (1-10/15) to type a long message . Don't let anyone lie to you.
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Truth is that most people either don't like you enough to make time for you or just simply - feel no need to talk to others often but are they too busy? No..You don't need to send me a message just to ask me and tell me "Do you really want to talk every day? I like long messages but I can't promise to contact you often" If you really are unsure please don't send me a message.I don't need more acquaintances aka people to talk to - occasionally.
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I'm not trying to sound rude but conversations once or twice a week wouldn't be enough for me and I don't need them... Let me tell you one thing – A true friend would never just give up on you for no reason :) It’s always possible to find someone to have a random conversation with – someone willing to send you one message once or twice a week..but..It’s almost impossible to find people willing to make more time for you.
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I’m not asking a busy person to make time for me by changing some plans! Absolutely not! I’m here to find someone who wants to talk daily (throughout the day or maybe even night) of one’s own will.Someone looking for the same kind of connection.Strong friendships are based on mutual support. One of the best things you can do for a friend in need, is just to be there for them when they want to talk.I often see posts from people who always say how friendless they are because they don't feel loved or appreciated by their "friends" remember! A true friend - someone who truly likes you or someone who wants to get to know you - will always find time for you.
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I'm not interested in small talk/short messages - I love long and meaningful conversations. It's so easy to find someone who loves abbreviations and questions like "How are you?" How was your day? Or what are you interested in? But so hard/almost impossible to find a person who knows how to keep a conversation going & show others some effort.Building and maintaining friendships takes time and effort.Never allow pursuits or possessions to become bigger priorities than your relations with other people.Close friendships are so important to us because they are so difficult to form + Having friends can help you feel as if you belong to something that brings purpose and connection to your life
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• I do NOT respond to any „Hey,hmu” or „u want to talk?” type of messages (super short messages or messages full of abbreviations – I literally can’t stand abbreviations and acronyms in text messages) ALL messages full of abbreviations will immediately be ignored.I also don't like it when people ignore everything I say in private messages just to focus on a random question or? When they start talking only about themselves and don't ever ask me anything. I love conversations with people referring to everything I say...I want everything I say and do - to be reciprocated
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• No NSFW profiles (checking mental health subreddits NOT included as I'm a huge empath and always try to understand others) - Please! I'm not looking for anyone to flirt with and I'm not looking for a partner either. I always check people's profiles (even comment history) - To avoid guys, trying to get inappropriate pictures from adult women or? flirt with them + I don't want to see you with no clothes on so If you're on Reddit only because you want others to see what's underneath your clothes - I'm not for you! I just simply don't want to see any s e x related activity on your profile If you want to talk to me.
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• If both of us (you and I) are from the same country (I live in a non-English speaking country) - I want to communicate with you in our first language! No - Not because I don't understand English - because as you see - I do. Why then? English is simply overrated and people don't appreciate other languages as much as they should. So.. If we're from the same country and you want to talk only in English (which is quite common on reddit) - Talk to someone else. I just don't want to talk to a person from the same country as mine - in a foreign language as It's just something I don't understand even If all you want is to improve your language skills
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• Please only adult people 18-36 (age range) It doesn't matter to me If you're younger or older than me (as long as you're not underage) So.. don't worry! I just want to have discussions with emotionally mature people :)
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• I don’t respond to messages I don’t find interesting even If they're long - If after receiving and reading your message I don't feel comfortable or think "I wouldn't get along with him/her" I simply do not respond (what I’m suggesting is that I don’t always respond to someone’s first or second message because..sometimes you just know If you’d get along with someone or not- I’d never ignore anyone after days or weeks of daily conversations though) just because I don’t want to do anything forcefully & because I don’t want to lead anyone on. I read all messages but I definitely don't respond to all of them! I want to make it clear because I don't want to be accused of not responding and not reading people's messages! - Some people don't message me back as well and even If It's a bit disappointing I'm ok with that! - as long as there's no emotional bond - Not responding to someone's first or second message Is completely OK! If people think they wouldn't get along with a stranger - is there a reason to start a conversation? I don't think so. I can't stand being ignored after days or weeks of daily conversations and seeing people changing priorities over time.. but that's something different - something I don't want to go through ever again for real. If I'm really interested in someone's message it's impossible to hear from me "I'm too busy" because I know myself and If I had no time for others - I wouldn't be here. I don't want to pretend someone I'm not and always try to find some cheap excuses to avoid others. (unlike most people who don't want to talk to others)
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• Don’t ask me “Can you tell me something about yourself?” If you really want to get to know me - you can ask me questions :) I'm an open book.
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• It would be better If you guys were into emojis - like me - to describe your emotions In text messages. Two emojis - 🙂 and 🙁 are completely enough! I just don't like emotionless conversations.I also don't like it when people say "yeah" or yea"as it sounds dismissively. First impression Is everything to me! I want to see your kindness even in a text message - Emojis are very helpful to express your emotions.I don't want to meet people who say "crying Is a weakness" - It's OK to cry even If you're a guy!
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• I want to talk on reddit first (just to make sure If I'd get along with you) before moving to Discord or some other app
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• I would rather talk to a homebody - not another person who always has something to do as people who are very busy don't even have time for daily conversations
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• If you're another person interested only in "childish conversations" such as "HEYOOO! I'M BORED! Ya like Pizza or cheese? xDDDD 🤣" I'm begging you! Don't send me a message.I'm not a child anymore and such messages don't make me smile or laugh.I'm looking for someone interested In serious discussions - not another person just seeking some entertainment out of boredom . Conversations with sarcastic undertones (even when It comes to some emojis such as 🤣😂) are not for me. Your typing style matters to me! Why? when It comes to online conversations with someone new - It's not always possible to know If someone Is laughing at you.. or with you. Let me tell you something else! Jokes about cancer, disabilities and death are UNACCEPTABLE to me. If you find joy In someone else's misfortune you are not a person I want to know.
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• Time response matters to me a lot! I would never ask anyone to be online all day long and I'm NOT asking any of you for any instant messaging as I'm someone who would rather wait an hour or two to receive a proper response instead of some short and pointless messages but I'm interested only in daily conversations and I don't want to wait any longer than 6 hours to get a message from you.I don't need unbelievably long messages either! Messages as long as the second paragraph of my post - are completely enough. If you like longer messages? you can send me a longer message, but If you want to send me one word or one sentence as a response to my post - don't expect a reaction from me. I don't want to come across as rude - I just don't want to waste your time
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• I'm strongly AGAINST picking on people you don't even want to chat with - and making fun of them! I can't stand people who criticize others publicly or make fun of them! (only because they disagree with someone they don't even know) There's no place In my life for someone using Reddit, to hurt other people
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• I'm not into foul language and I definitely don't want to talk to people who swear a lot...
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• I want to meet assertive people who know what they want and always stand up for their friends
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• I want to meet someone willing to call me In the future, someone spontaneously sending me pictures of animals or food, et cetera. I want more than just text conversations.. 🌻
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Why can’t you see any of my hobbies listed down below? Because what really matters to me is..who you are (If you’re honest, talkative ,understanding, caring and trustworthy – for example) just simply – It matters to me what you’re like! not what you like.Don’t get me wrong – you can tell me what your hobbies are but from my point of view - people's hobbies are important - If you want to find a gaming buddy or If you want to meet someone to hang out with in real life and..go bowling for example.What most people seem to care about are other people's passions – I don’t. I get along with other people despite having completely different hobbies but I absolutely don’t get along with people way different than me (different expectations and outlook on life – way different sense of humor or personality traits – It’s just an example) It doesn't make ANY DIFFERENCE to me If you're a gamer or? Someone interested in photography! It doesn't make any difference - > as long as you're talkative and kind and If you also want to find someone willing to stay in your life..for good - But If you're into small talk and all you want is to...type and receive super short messages or If you're here only because you're bored and don't know what to do + If you're a very sarcastic person - I'm definitely not for you! I don't get along with overly sarcastic people turning everything into a joke. Friendships should be natural – not forced. I wouldn't get along with people who laugh at everything.. In my opinion most people are way too sarcastic.. It's quite sad... Sarcasm can also be another form of passive-aggressive behavior.
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People who want to be to friends should feel comfortable and have something in common. No - not necessarily a similar taste in music or movies but something else..Most friendships don't fizzle out because of people not having the same hobbies but..because they just simply have different expectations when It comes to something important.I'm not here out of boredom and trust me - I'm not here to meet as many people as possible.I choose quality over quantity.I highly value myself and my time & Sometimes one person but a person who makes you feel comfortable and understood - is more than enough :) We ALL can choose what kind of people we’d like to talk to and maybe even become really good friends with and I? I don’t want anyone to be disappointed.We all have some expectations after all.I know that people don't have to talk as often as possible in order to become friends but I'm interested only in daily conversations. If you really need someone to talk to due to loneliness and If you have time to talk to me daily (throughout the day and maybe even night) I always make time for others.I'm literally always available.I could even stay up all night long only to talk to someone important to me. I’m ready to commit but only If there’s some chemistry between me and someone else.I don’t do anything forcefully.
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If you want to talk to me tell me your story - tell me why you're here, what kind of friend would you like to meet :) Et cetera.Such messages are way more interesting to me than...someone's long list of hobbies. I know! It's unusual on reddit but I don't make friends based on hobbies..I want to meet someone with the same mindset as mine to finally feel understood and get close to someone new. You can share your problems with me - I absolutely don't mind "complaining" as I've been through a lot in my life.What do people usually tell you when you tell them that something's wrong? "Don't complain" or "Life's not over yet - one day you'll be happy" or "There are worse situations than yours" and..obviously "Find a therapist" Life's not a fairytale and sometimes things don't go as planned.Emotions shouldn't be bottled up.I'm sick of people always telling others "everything's gonna be ok" move on " & more..Trust me people - not everyone wants to hear "Just believe in yourself and everything's gonna be ok" Some people take it as reassurance - but others? They would rather hear something different 🙁Imagine being told that things will be okay, only for them to get worse..Do you guys know why telling someone "everything's gonna be ok" Is wrong? Because you can't see the future.
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You can't guarantee others that one day they'll finally be happy + when It comes to social interactions - We're responsible only for ourselves - not others & as you guys know people let us down quite often (sometimes even when there's no reason) so instead of telling people how they should move on, forget everything and be happy or asking them to find a therapist - be there for them! Always be willing to listen to them If you really like them or want to get to know them & don't suggest everyone in a tough situation to find a therapist because even the best therapist won't ever replace a true friend + It's quite normal to be disappointed If people always do something to hurt you. Sharing your hardships with other people in a very similar situation or exactly the same one - is VERY helpful If the other person understands you & wants to start all over by just letting it all out! Feeling emotional support instead of always hearing some "positive quotes" or someone saying "Stop complaining let's talk about something else - Is very important! "Everyone needs a shoulder to cry on. I appreciate sensitive people who always try to understand others. If after hearing a sad story all you want to say is "forget the past and move on" you're not for me. It's important to be a good listener and provide emotional support to others
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Please - If you're a completely different person than the described type of person I'm looking for (If you love abbreviations,If you don't need a stable friendship, If you're sarcastic and quiet) or If you simply disagree with my post - don't force yourself to send me a message.I want my new potential friendship to be natural which is why I want you to contact me only If your needs are the same - I don't want you to pretend someone you're not - only to please me - Pretending to be someone you're not - is the worst.I want to finally be happy again & find someone "always" wanting to talk - sending me random pictures throughout the day - food pictures or pictures of some animals. What is the most important to me? I want to find people who value online friendships as much as they would value real life ones as there's another human being on the other side
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No comments please.Only Private messages and chat requests 🌺
I know It's possible to meet people with exactly the same expectations as mine but It's just not easy because most people are Interested In temporary and entertaining conversations. People like me are just "different" I really want to finally find someone who loves emojis as much as I do.. someone who loves sweet, warm and serious discussions at the same time. Emojis really do - change conversations 😊

A little about myself - I am a male, mid 20s. Financially, lower middle class. My parents have been through a lot of tough times but always made sure for me to have all the basic needs required. They are very strict and it makes sense because they want to make sure I grow up to be a good man without any bad influence. I was never allowed to go out with friends beyond the 1-mile radius of our house. No movies, night outs, outings. (My first night out was when I was 21). That lead to me having no ‘close’ friends at this point. (The only friend I deemed so close killed himself during the pandemic).
Over time, I developed the quality of making the best of what I could get. I find happiness in the smallest things. I never compare myself with others and complain about it. I am happy with the way my life is. Personality wise, I have a lot of patience and hardly feel any aggression as I always take time to process a situation and act. I never had an incident with friends or family that involved verbal or physical violence. I always tried to keep it composed and well mannered. Many people compliment the way I think, behave and talk.
But for the last couple of months, I am feeling the aggression - a lot of it. I don’t what’s the starting point or trigger is. Anywhere I go, anywhere I see people, whatever objects I see, I feel like hitting them. A bus arrives 5 minutes late than the ETA, I feel like hitting the driver. I sit in a movie theater and the person beside me whispers, I want to beat the hell out of them. Someone criticizes my choice of favorite music genre, life choices, food - feels like confronting them and tell them to screw themselves and not judge me.
Even though my thinking has changed, the final actions didn’t. People saw no difference in my behavior - I am still a good guy, which ultimately means I am pretending. Being a good man seemed easy until a point, now I am putting a lot of efforts. This lead to a question - “Was I a good person all this time or was I pretending like one all the while?”.
I have thought about it and did a lot of analysis about myself. I don’t have a lot of friends, never did any adventures, never dated a woman. I don’t know much about anything. I don’t know about emotions people go through. I don’t know gossip. I have never comforted a crying person, neither did cry in front of anyone. The definitions of most emotions and feelings I know about, they are not from experience - they are all acquired knowledge. Somehow, this makes me feel like I am a pretender and a very good actor. I get praised for the way I talk, behave and think - all of which is impersonating someone. I have stopped talking to people and giving any advice or having any short talks.
Did you hurt someone with your actions? - I think not, except for my parents when I tell them I want to something that creates a concern.
If you didn’t hurt any anyone, that’s good right? - yeah, I guess so. But was I good, or just not bad? First of all, what qualifies to be good and bad?
What’s changed in life? - I have got a job. I am so happy with the industry I am in, but it’s not the job I want. I am grateful for having a job at this point and I am gaining a lot of relevant experience that helps my career. I have no issues professionally. I don’t live with parents.
This increased aggression caused an internal conflict. I have come to the conclusion that I am not what I/other people think I am. I don’t how to answer the question “what is your personality?”. I am frustrated, angry and disappointed in myself. I don’t know how to find answers and explanations. It feels like searching for a person who has no name, face or a fingerprint. The most frustrating part is that my current situation doesn’t allow me to go find that missing person.
No one has knowledge of what’s going on in my mind, including my parents. I am here as it felt like comforting to document it and post it where it can acknowledged. Sure there is no right or wrong advice but let me know how to move forward.

(Only Europe, Please) - short note - If you're not into reading or receiving long messages,don't read any further + Please If you don't want to read everything because of my post being too long for you & instead of reading It all - ..skip some parts - find another person to talk to.Let's respect each other and our free time. All people criticizing/making fun of me & other people - will be blocked.Pretty much as people questioning my post and giving me unsolicited advice.I'm not here for any conflicts and I know I can't please everyone - I know I never will.. However It's me who should feel comfortable in my new potential friendship & obviously someone who wants to be my friend - not the whole world.. which is why I don't need any advice from people who don't even want to be a part of my life. The amount of rude people on Reddit always criticizing others and making fun of them is unbelievably high but let me tell you something - NEVER let anyone make choices for you and criticize you only because you're different! Always fight for your dreams and never let anyone make you think you're worthless! It's your life and you're the one deciding what's best for you - If you want to judge me despite not even wanting to talk to me or give me advice better block me! I'm an adult woman and I make all decisions on my own.I'm not trying to "fit in" and be like everyone else - just to get more attention.Accept me for who I am or let go - is my motto.
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Hello guys! 🙂 (read everything before you decide to send me a message) Please send me a message ONLY If you're in the same situation and If your expectations are the same as mine.I want to find like minded people from Europe (Why Europe? Read my post to find out) I'm looking for something permanent (remember - you can feel lonely even If you're surrounded by others - If there's no emotional bond) I'm fed up of meeting people who never make time for me & only text me once or twice a week to ask me "what are you up to?" Out of boredom.I don't want to meet people asking others a million of questions like "what's your favorite movie?" Just to give them one word answer and ask them another question "and music? Your favorite song?" I'm looking for something "deeper" & different 🙂
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What kind of friend would I like to find? Someone to talk to on a daily basis - Someone who needs It & wants It just as much as me
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What are my expectations? I would like to meet someone in a similar situation – why? Because I honestly feel like only a person with the same expectations and a similar outlook on life would get along with me & because I feel more comfortable talking to people like me..Friendless people who need a strong bond - people without friends and partners.. Don't get me wrong…Most people deserve to be happy and It's good to have friends but people who have friends or families in real life are usually more focused on them (which is completely understandable) & have less time for others + I simply don't want to be replaced by anyone..I kind of envy people who can call others , true friends given I don't have an emotional bond with any of my acquaintances. Please send me a message only If you're not In a relationship and don't have friends for the same reasons I've already mentioned before
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Whenever I hear that others have friends I simply get sad because (believe it or not) If I had to choose between 20 people to talk to (acquaintances) and one special person - I'd choose that one special person without any hesitation .
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I also want to talk to others every day because..I want to see someone’s effort & be someone's first choice - not another person to have random conversations with..some people ask me "Why do you want to talk to people from Europe?" Well..Because I would like to see someone I'd get along with - In the far future - face to face :) + I don't want to wait any longer than 6 hours to receive a message - waiting 6 hours to receive a message is more than enough
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I'm by no means criticizing people who don't want to talk to others often / People who really are super busy & People who want to find someone to have unimportant conversations with - I'm aware that not everyone has the same expectations which is why everything you're reading now - is here for a reason :) All I'm suggesting is - I don't want anything temporary and I don't want to be the one always giving more than receiving.Listen people - I used to ignore being..ignored by others..always being just an option to talk to during tough times or moments of boredom.I was too young to realize that I was never important enough for most people that were a part of my life. I don't know who needs to hear this but..No one is too busy to make time for you! People make excuses to avoid others because they prioritize everything and (maybe) everyone..over them. It's true that most people are busy - but It takes only a few seconds to start a conversation (If you're into short messages) and a few minutes (1-10/15) to type a long message . Don't let anyone lie to you.
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Truth is that most people either don't like you enough to make time for you or just simply - feel no need to talk to others often but are they too busy? No..You don't need to send me a message just to ask me and tell me "Do you really want to talk every day? I like long messages but I can't promise to contact you often" If you really are unsure please don't send me a message.I don't need more acquaintances aka people to talk to - occasionally.
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I'm not trying to sound rude but conversations once or twice a week wouldn't be enough for me and I don't need them... Let me tell you one thing – A true friend would never just give up on you for no reason :) It’s always possible to find someone to have a random conversation with – someone willing to send you one message once or twice a week..but..It’s almost impossible to find people willing to make more time for you.
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I’m not asking a busy person to make time for me by changing some plans! Absolutely not! I’m here to find someone who wants to talk daily (throughout the day or maybe even night) of one’s own will.Someone looking for the same kind of connection.Strong friendships are based on mutual support. One of the best things you can do for a friend in need, is just to be there for them when they want to talk.I often see posts from people who always say how friendless they are because they don't feel loved or appreciated by their "friends" remember! A true friend - someone who truly likes you or someone who wants to get to know you - will always find time for you.
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I'm not interested in small talk/short messages - I love long and meaningful conversations. It's so easy to find someone who loves abbreviations and questions like "How are you?" How was your day? Or what are you interested in? But so hard/almost impossible to find a person who knows how to keep a conversation going & show others some effort.Building and maintaining friendships takes time and effort.Never allow pursuits or possessions to become bigger priorities than your relations with other people.Close friendships are so important to us because they are so difficult to form + Having friends can help you feel as if you belong to something that brings purpose and connection to your life
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• I do NOT respond to any „Hey,hmu” or „u want to talk?” type of messages (super short messages or messages full of abbreviations – I literally can’t stand abbreviations and acronyms in text messages) ALL messages full of abbreviations will immediately be ignored.I also don't like it when people ignore everything I say in private messages just to focus on a random question or? When they start talking only about themselves and don't ever ask me anything. I love conversations with people referring to everything I say...I want everything I say and do - to be reciprocated
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• No NSFW profiles (checking mental health subreddits NOT included as I'm a huge empath and always try to understand others) - Please! I'm not looking for anyone to flirt with and I'm not looking for a partner either. I always check people's profiles (even comment history) - To avoid guys, trying to get inappropriate pictures from adult women or? flirt with them + I don't want to see you with no clothes on so If you're on Reddit only because you want others to see what's underneath your clothes - I'm not for you! I just simply don't want to see any s e x related activity on your profile If you want to talk to me.
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• If both of us (you and I) are from the same country (I live in a non-English speaking country) - I want to communicate with you in our first language! No - Not because I don't understand English - because as you see - I do. Why then? English is simply overrated and people don't appreciate other languages as much as they should. So.. If we're from the same country and you want to talk only in English (which is quite common on reddit) - Talk to someone else. I just don't want to talk to a person from the same country as mine - in a foreign language as It's just something I don't understand even If all you want is to improve your language skills
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• Please only adult people 18-36 (age range) It doesn't matter to me If you're younger or older than me (as long as you're not underage) So.. don't worry! I just want to have discussions with emotionally mature people :)
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• I don’t respond to messages I don’t find interesting even If they're long - If after receiving and reading your message I don't feel comfortable or think "I wouldn't get along with him/her" I simply do not respond (what I’m suggesting is that I don’t always respond to someone’s first or second message because..sometimes you just know If you’d get along with someone or not- I’d never ignore anyone after days or weeks of daily conversations though) just because I don’t want to do anything forcefully & because I don’t want to lead anyone on. I read all messages but I definitely don't respond to all of them! I want to make it clear because I don't want to be accused of not responding and not reading people's messages! - Some people don't message me back as well and even If It's a bit disappointing I'm ok with that! - as long as there's no emotional bond - Not responding to someone's first or second message Is completely OK! If people think they wouldn't get along with a stranger - is there a reason to start a conversation? I don't think so. I can't stand being ignored after days or weeks of daily conversations and seeing people changing priorities over time.. but that's something different - something I don't want to go through ever again for real. If I'm really interested in someone's message it's impossible to hear from me "I'm too busy" because I know myself and If I had no time for others - I wouldn't be here. I don't want to pretend someone I'm not and always try to find some cheap excuses to avoid others. (unlike most people who don't want to talk to others)
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• Don’t ask me “Can you tell me something about yourself?” If you really want to get to know me - you can ask me questions :) I'm an open book.
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• It would be better If you guys were into emojis - like me - to describe your emotions In text messages. Two emojis - 🙂 and 🙁 are completely enough! I just don't like emotionless conversations.I also don't like it when people say "yeah" or yea"as it sounds dismissively. First impression Is everything to me! I want to see your kindness even in a text message - Emojis are very helpful to express your emotions.I don't want to meet people who say "crying Is a weakness" - It's OK to cry even If you're a guy!
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• I want to talk on reddit first (just to make sure If I'd get along with you) before moving to Discord or some other app
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• I would rather talk to a homebody - not another person who always has something to do as people who are very busy don't even have time for daily conversations
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• If you're another person interested only in "childish conversations" such as "HEYOOO! I'M BORED! Ya like Pizza or cheese? xDDDD 🤣" I'm begging you! Don't send me a message.I'm not a child anymore and such messages don't make me smile or laugh.I'm looking for someone interested In serious discussions - not another person just seeking some entertainment out of boredom . Conversations with sarcastic undertones (even when It comes to some emojis such as 🤣😂) are not for me. Your typing style matters to me! Why? when It comes to online conversations with someone new - It's not always possible to know If someone Is laughing at you.. or with you. Let me tell you something else! Jokes about cancer, disabilities and death are UNACCEPTABLE to me. If you find joy In someone else's misfortune you are not a person I want to know.
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• Time response matters to me a lot! I would never ask anyone to be online all day long and I'm NOT asking any of you for any instant messaging as I'm someone who would rather wait an hour or two to receive a proper response instead of some short and pointless messages but I'm interested only in daily conversations and I don't want to wait any longer than 6 hours to get a message from you.I don't need unbelievably long messages either! Messages as long as the second paragraph of my post - are completely enough. If you like longer messages? you can send me a longer message, but If you want to send me one word or one sentence as a response to my post - don't expect a reaction from me. I don't want to come across as rude - I just don't want to waste your time
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• I'm strongly AGAINST picking on people you don't even want to chat with - and making fun of them! I can't stand people who criticize others publicly or make fun of them! (only because they disagree with someone they don't even know) There's no place In my life for someone using Reddit, to hurt other people
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• I'm not into foul language and I definitely don't want to talk to people who swear a lot...
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• I want to meet assertive people who know what they want and always stand up for their friends
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• I want to meet someone willing to call me In the future, someone spontaneously sending me pictures of animals or food, et cetera. I want more than just text conversations.. 🌻
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Why can’t you see any of my hobbies listed down below? Because what really matters to me is..who you are (If you’re honest, talkative ,understanding, caring and trustworthy – for example) just simply – It matters to me what you’re like! not what you like.Don’t get me wrong – you can tell me what your hobbies are but from my point of view - people's hobbies are important - If you want to find a gaming buddy or If you want to meet someone to hang out with in real life and..go bowling for example.What most people seem to care about are other people's passions – I don’t. I get along with other people despite having completely different hobbies but I absolutely don’t get along with people way different than me (different expectations and outlook on life – way different sense of humor or personality traits – It’s just an example) It doesn't make ANY DIFFERENCE to me If you're a gamer or? Someone interested in photography! It doesn't make any difference - > as long as you're talkative and kind and If you also want to find someone willing to stay in your life..for good - But If you're into small talk and all you want is to...type and receive super short messages or If you're here only because you're bored and don't know what to do + If you're a very sarcastic person - I'm definitely not for you! I don't get along with overly sarcastic people turning everything into a joke. Friendships should be natural – not forced. I wouldn't get along with people who laugh at everything.. In my opinion most people are way too sarcastic.. It's quite sad... Sarcasm can also be another form of passive-aggressive behavior.
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People who want to be to friends should feel comfortable and have something in common. No - not necessarily a similar taste in music or movies but something else..Most friendships don't fizzle out because of people not having the same hobbies but..because they just simply have different expectations when It comes to something important.I'm not here out of boredom and trust me - I'm not here to meet as many people as possible.I choose quality over quantity.I highly value myself and my time & Sometimes one person but a person who makes you feel comfortable and understood - is more than enough :) We ALL can choose what kind of people we’d like to talk to and maybe even become really good friends with and I? I don’t want anyone to be disappointed.We all have some expectations after all.I know that people don't have to talk as often as possible in order to become friends but I'm interested only in daily conversations. If you really need someone to talk to due to loneliness and If you have time to talk to me daily (throughout the day and maybe even night) I always make time for others.I'm literally always available.I could even stay up all night long only to talk to someone important to me. I’m ready to commit but only If there’s some chemistry between me and someone else.I don’t do anything forcefully.
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If you want to talk to me tell me your story - tell me why you're here, what kind of friend would you like to meet :) Et cetera.Such messages are way more interesting to me than...someone's long list of hobbies. I know! It's unusual on reddit but I don't make friends based on hobbies..I want to meet someone with the same mindset as mine to finally feel understood and get close to someone new. You can share your problems with me - I absolutely don't mind "complaining" as I've been through a lot in my life.What do people usually tell you when you tell them that something's wrong? "Don't complain" or "Life's not over yet - one day you'll be happy" or "There are worse situations than yours" and..obviously "Find a therapist" Life's not a fairytale and sometimes things don't go as planned.Emotions shouldn't be bottled up.I'm sick of people always telling others "everything's gonna be ok" move on " & more..Trust me people - not everyone wants to hear "Just believe in yourself and everything's gonna be ok" Some people take it as reassurance - but others? They would rather hear something different 🙁Imagine being told that things will be okay, only for them to get worse..Do you guys know why telling someone "everything's gonna be ok" Is wrong? Because you can't see the future.
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You can't guarantee others that one day they'll finally be happy + when It comes to social interactions - We're responsible only for ourselves - not others & as you guys know people let us down quite often (sometimes even when there's no reason) so instead of telling people how they should move on, forget everything and be happy or asking them to find a therapist - be there for them! Always be willing to listen to them If you really like them or want to get to know them & don't suggest everyone in a tough situation to find a therapist because even the best therapist won't ever replace a true friend + It's quite normal to be disappointed If people always do something to hurt you. Sharing your hardships with other people in a very similar situation or exactly the same one - is VERY helpful If the other person understands you & wants to start all over by just letting it all out! Feeling emotional support instead of always hearing some "positive quotes" or someone saying "Stop complaining let's talk about something else - Is very important! "Everyone needs a shoulder to cry on. I appreciate sensitive people who always try to understand others. If after hearing a sad story all you want to say is "forget the past and move on" you're not for me. It's important to be a good listener and provide emotional support to others
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Please - If you're a completely different person than the described type of person I'm looking for (If you love abbreviations,If you don't need a stable friendship, If you're sarcastic and quiet) or If you simply disagree with my post - don't force yourself to send me a message.I want my new potential friendship to be natural which is why I want you to contact me only If your needs are the same - I don't want you to pretend someone you're not - only to please me - Pretending to be someone you're not - is the worst.I want to finally be happy again & find someone "always" wanting to talk - sending me random pictures throughout the day - food pictures or pictures of some animals. What is the most important to me? I want to find people who value online friendships as much as they would value real life ones as there's another human being on the other side
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No comments please.Only Private messages and chat requests 🌺
I know It's possible to meet people with exactly the same expectations as mine but It's just not easy because most people are Interested In temporary and entertaining conversations. People like me are just "different" I really want to finally find someone who loves emojis as much as I do.. someone who loves sweet, warm and serious discussions at the same time. Emojis really do - change conversations 😊

Kieran was my first boyfriend and also the one who helped me to lose weight. He threw out my junk food (including my hidden stash), made me exercise, and monitored my calories and credit cards.
"He's controlling you," said my sisters.
"And it's working!" I struck a pose for them. They were just jealous.
When I reached my final goal, Kieran finally asked me to move in with him. I was ecstatic!
After I moved in, Kieran received an anonymous letter.
Inside was a black and white photo of a teenage girl. She was a large girl, lying on her back on a wooden raft which floated on a stream. She had her eyes closed like she was sleeping.
'This is your grandmother, Alma' said the note. Plus address details. That was it.
As a baby, Kieran had been abandoned at an orphanage.
"Kieran..." I laughed, "this looks pretty sketch."
However Kieran was more trusting.
"You mean a scam? How?"
"I - don't know. Look at it. A single photo and you're convinced?"
"But she looks just like me! How's it a scam? What's the angle?"
The address was 3 hours away. I begged him not to go, but he just replied that I didn't have to come.
"I guess it's nice that you know your family." he said
So we drove out there. Along the way, I wondered if Kieran was first attracted to me because I had been big like his grandmother? Or his mother? But he hadn't met them then, I reminded myself. Could he be genetically attracted to me? Was that even a thing?
The sun was setting when we arrived.
I stepped out of the car and stretched. It was a grassy, country area, where the houses were few and far between. Her house was a small cottage that looked old and rundown.
I walked towards it, but Kieran stopped me. "Listen."
Running water. Distant but distinct.
Kieran walked behind the house. I followed him. And there it was. It was the same stream from the photo.
Kieran turned to me. "I knew it," he whispered tearfully.
He quickly walked towards the stream, as I told him to wait up. He stood at the water's edge and looked down.
As I trudged through the grass, I noticed a large grey shape on the bank. It looked like a headstone.
*ALMA WOODBRIDGE
1956 - 1973*
I shivered in the crisp evening air. So she was dead? Then who had sent the letter?
"Kieran," I walked over to him. "What are you doing?"
He continued staring down blankly into the water.
"Kieran, your grandmother... she's dead."
"Yes she drowned,' he replied. "But she will live again."
His strong hands suddenly pushed me forward. Shock rocked me as I collided with the cold water, but I absolutely lost my mind when Alma's icy fingers touched me, finally claiming her brand new body. I thrashed uselessly as she possessed me.
"I've always wanted to be slim!" I rasped with delight.