Aunty bra
Non auntie looking bra
2024.05.18 08:04 kpoplover02-02 Non auntie looking bra
Any recommendation for shops that sells bra for bigger cup size that don’t look like it’s for aunties it’s so annoying that cute designs are only for smaller sizes.
submitted by kpoplover02-02 to askSingapore [link] [comments]
2024.05.12 03:31 freifraufischer A (not so quick) and Dirty Guide for Four Year Fans of Rhythmic (who happen to be regular fans of Artistic Gymnastics)
 | (This is a lose adaptation of a very long thread I posted on the bird site. It's meant as a summary so there are things in here that are overly broad but I mostly want to help artistic fans know what is going on in Rhythmic with Paris on the horizon.) submitted by freifraufischer to Gymnastics [link] [comments] So you only watch Rhythmic Gymnastics every 4 years and OMG Paris is in a few months and you have no idea what your watching except dropping things is bad and wasn't this sport like super corrupt? Let's start with the basics. In the ye olden times all female gymnasts used to do exercises with portable and non portable apparatus. So a balance beam would be non portable and things like clubs, or balls would be portable. What we know of as artistic gymnasts competed in team portable apparatus. This video is from the 1952 Olympics and at the .10 mark you can see the Hungarian team which includes the great Ágnes Keleti (HUN) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dtZ9t_9O-b0 One of my favorite facts about Auntie Ágnes is that not only is she the oldest living Olympic champion at 103, a holocaust survivor and number 3 on the all time women's Olympic medal list... she's also a reigning Olympic champion as her team was the last to win gold on Team PA before the event was discontinued. A lot of things were changing in gymnastics in the 1950s, women stopped doing Rings, the uneven bars started evolving from just being a set of pbars set to different heights, and they stopped doing exercises with portable apparatus. It was in this period that the sport that we now know of as Rhythmic Gymnastics split off and embraced ways to make themselves different from Artistic Gymnastics. What I want to emphasize here is that Rhythmic is just as "old school" as Artistic. It might be useful to point out here that in a lot of languages call MAG/WAG "Sport Gymnastics" (Russian) or "Apparatus Gymnastics" (many other European languages). In these contexts RG is often called "Artistic Gymnastics" because the sport emphasizes artistry so much more. The idea here is that this is a discipline that emphasizes more musicality, dance, formal ballet, and as a consequence they ban things like saltos. I'm mostly talking to people who are familiar with artistic gymnastics so think of this as "dance elements taken to 11". Broadly a RG wants to keep the apparatus moving at all times as they perform elements, to avoid dropping it but also to avoid holding onto it with an obvious death grip. The ball should for instance sit in the hand, not be squeezed to keep hold. Here is a basic guide to ball handling by a British RGI (Individual Rhythmic Gymnast) and just understanding that basic foundation of handling really goes a long way to explain just how difficult the sport is. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p3MSLaVO-MM&t=246s They throw the apparatus but your eye should stay on the gymnast not the flying apparatus as they do dance between the throw and the catch. If they catch the apparatus when they can't see it that's extra difficulty. Sometimes really terrible television camera crews will follow the apparatus in the air instead of the gymnast and this is very much worse than when they do face close ups on beam. All of the elements are what is happening UNDER the apparatus during the throw. One of the things I find incredible about rhythmic gymnasts is just how smart they need to be in order to do their sport. We're talking a special and physical awareness that is second to none because they need that catch to appear natural and effortless. A hand should meet the apparatus you shouldn't stick your arm up and wait for it to arrive. You should be in the right place to catch it without having to move unnaturally out of your choreography or you will get a trajectory deduction. As a good casual rule of thumb, if you are seeing them trying hard to do something, something is wrong. In fact, the ability of the gymnast to precisely control those throws means that when they do ribbon at the elite level they turn the air handling off in the arena so as not to influence the 6 meters of flying silk (that's almost 20 feet in freedom units). This adds a new level of awe when you realize that during ribbon qualification at last year's world's in Valencia, Spain it was 35 C (or 95 F). Please think about that later when I show you ribbon routines. And how toasty it will certainly be for athletes in Paris. The apparatus are Hoop, Ball, Clubs, Ribbon, and Rope. Wait... what? Rope?! Yes. So they used to rotate between the 5 apparatus but Rope has fallen out of favor largely because it's difficult to read on TV, though many purists think it's the most difficult apparatus. It's still competed among juniors and here is 2019 Junior Rope Apparatus World Champion Anastasia Simakova (RUS) (now GER) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7-G47KnUCZY Another useful thing to know about the apparatus is that the clubs can be connected together or disconnected and this will frequently happen during the course of routines. My favorite weird fact about rhythmic is that if the clubs go out of bounds while connected it counts as one apparatus, but if you yeet the clubs out of bounds while they are separated it's two for double the penalty. No really... I will never not find this funny for some reason. https://preview.redd.it/205fhweiyvzc1.png?width=438&format=png&auto=webp&s=3c1693c4f044588989d107a5effa90dcd02a718f As a note, Ribbon always scores lower than the other apparatus, and you don't just risk dropping it but knots or even tangling yourself up in the ribbon in a kind of sparkly auto-bondage happen more frequently than you might think. RG scoring is fairly complicated but in brief: Difficulty, Execution, and Artistry scores which are combined together to create a total. Execution and Artistry are out of a 10.0. Think of Execution the same way you would in AG, somewhere in the 8s is good. You start to look for something fairly major wrong when you have an E in the low 7s, and anything below 7 for an Olympic contender was a car crash. Like .44 in this video where major Olympic contender Stiliana Nikolova (BUL) trips on the spare apparatus. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pbx4R4M3akk&t=44s Difficulty is open ended and is broken up into DA (difficulty of apparatus handling) and DB (body difficulty). If you want a better summary than I could ever give you (if a little outdated because of updates), here is the 2022-24 code in 15 minutes from Clematis on youtube. It was made for a RG point of view but I think if you are used to the WAG code you can probably follow along well enough. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AxIlbaiPJWY Some gymnasts (like Nikolova and Darja Varfolomeev (GER)) build their routines on extremely high difficulty while others like Ekaterina Vedeneeva (SLO) and Daria Atamanov (ISR) concentrate on lower difficulty more securely done. Rhythmic Group Gymnastics (RGG) is performed with 5 gymnasts together doing complex interacting choreography and exchanges. The apparatus for RGG changes every few years but always one routine is done with 5 of the same apparatus, and another with a mix of 2. The Paris quad RGG is 5 Hoops, and 3 Ribbons/2 Balls. People who want chaos wish for 10 Clubs but that's not in the cards for the next quad either. If you aren't used to watching Rhythmic I promise you are probably better at spotting when things go wrong than you think. You may not know what it is, but "wait that's not right" comes quickly. Because the IOC hates fun, there are only two medal events at the Olympics, the All Around in RGI and the All Around in RGG. At world championships there is the All Around for both individuals and groups, but there are also apparatus finals. Because there are no apparatus medals at the Olympics we sometimes wont get to see the real masters of a given apparatus. Imagine if you never got to see Sanne Wever's beam because to get to the Olympics she had to be one of the top 24 All Arounders in the world. Which is really an important thing to point out. There are only 24 individual rhythmic gymnasts at the Olympics. That is a TINY fraction of the competitive field. Relative to international competition there will be many highly competitive RGIs left home compared to WAGs. I want to dwell on that point for a moment so I'm going to apply the RGI Olympic qualifying procedure to the Artistic field. Rhythmic worlds Olympic QFers were all non-nominative, meaning the place is awarded to the country not the gymnast by name. If WAG Olympic QF looked like RGI:
Back to the real world there are some heart breakers. There are 4 Bulgarians in the top 12 All Arounders this year. They have 2 spots in Paris. Other countries like Germany, Italy, and Ukraine will be leaving at least one great gymnast at home. I'm going to go through the likely Olympic field, as well as some that will not make the Olympics because they deserve their flowers too. These routines are, for the most part, the their top scoring routines from 2024, or if I thought a 2023 Worlds routine is a better representative I've used that. For the top 5 All Arounders this year I'm showing you a routine on each apparatus.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MLPt-3rifnA&t=119s By the way, she's 18, just very short which isn't that common for a rhythmic gymnast. Her father was a professional football player and played in the 1986 FIFA World Cup for Bulgaria... continuing my theme of elite gymnasts with international footballer fathers. 😊 Sofia Raffaeli (ITA)
😊 Daria Atamanov (ISR)
Atamanov was on a roll in 2022 as the European Champion (which means a LOT in RG), 2 gold medals at the World Games... and then she broke her leg in warmups at 2022 Worlds. She came back to win bronze in the AA at 2023 Worlds. 😊 Darja Varfolomeev (GER)
😊 Boryana Kaleyn (BUL)
If I was a betting woman I'd say the Olympic medals are going to come from that first 5 gymnasts I introduced. There are others of course but these 5 gymnasts own all the World and European AA medals from this quad. 😊 Takhmina Ikromova (UZB) Ball - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=chS5Y-8c8do Ikromova owns the 11th highest All Around score of the year so far... her problem is those 5 big names hold the top 10 between them. Still she's the best rhythmic gymnast in Asia and came in 5th at worlds last year. On a good day she could medal in Paris but she may need help. And the Bulgarians are inclined towards helping others medal way too often for the sanity of their fans. 😑 Elvira Krasnobaeva (BUL) Clubs - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4lw7_y3Rh50 Remember how limited the Olympic field is? Well this is the 7th best RGI by AA score this year. She almost certainly wont be in Paris because Kaleyn and Nikolova are just better bets. 😁 Elzhana Taniyeva (KAZ) - Asian Champs Quota Clubs - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jb9gZGdUkZY 😊 Ekaterina Vedeneeva (SLO) Ribbon - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NByCW_nEUws Bronze medalist with ribbon at 2022 and 2023 Worlds is the beloved veteran finally able to shine later in her career. Think about how WAG fans feel about Georgia Godwin or Ellie Black and mix that with the elegance of an Eythora Thorsdottir. She originally competed for Russia but switched to Slovenia in 2018, in contrast to someone I will mention later Irina Viner did not oppose her transfer. A key difference was that Viner never saw Vedeneeva as a threat to take medals from Russian gymnasts. 😑 Eva Brezalieva (BUL) Hoop - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6mTbBZS2TzQ Remember how I said 4 of the top 12 All Arounders this year were Bulgarian? Meet number 4. Unfortunately for her they only have 2 spots in Paris. 😊 Alba Bautista (ESP) Ball - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tyTRgKgyK6c 😊 Viktoriia Onopriienko (UKR) Clubs - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F4icRp-FX5Y Bronze with clubs at 2023 Worlds, this is one of my favorite routines of last year. It also shows what the power of a giant crowd that actually has rhythm clapping unlike some depressing artistic gymnastics crowds. But you may know her from this. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oOCHFWODAGY 😊 Margarita Kolosov (GER) Ball - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QCwB_3ESnPQ Remember how I said Germany will have a hard choice, after Varfolomeev they have two very talented gymnasts plagued with inconsistency. Kolosov is likely the one who will win out here (which some may feel is right as she earned the second German spot at worlds however the other athlete wasn't permitted to compete at 2023 Worlds....). I think of Kolosov for her incredibly aggressive towel throwing at the start of her walk out. Every time. 😑 Anastasia Simakova (GER) Ball - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OotziO4k34w Kolosov can't breath easy because running neck and neck with her is her club mate Anastasia Simakova but if inconsistency marks both of them it does Simakova more. She had been a Jr. World Champion for Russia and came to Germany (where her parents had immigrated) in 2022. Simakova's family are from the ethnic German minority in Russia and she told Irina Viner that she was going to Germany to get (a very real) back injury treated. And never came back. The Disney Villain of Gymnastics was displeased and held up her country transfer for a year. A stress point is that she didn't immigrate to a country where it would be easier to make the Olympics. She moved to the one her parents had already immigrated to. Viner has allowed Russian gymnasts to leave and compete for small unthreatening countries in the past, but generally those have been "B" team gymnasts. Simakova had far too much success and Germany (and her coach Yulia Raskina) were far to outside of Viner's control to allow it. 😊 Fanni Pigniczki (HUN) Hoop - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TsKKiL3kA1Y The most successful Hungarian rhythmic gymnast ever, she won bronze with the hoop at 2023 Worlds. The Spanish crowd gave her a nickname after the motion one makes while making potato croqueta. 😊 Zohra Aghamirova (AZE) Ball - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TVP7dSfv44k 😊 Helene Karbanov (FRA) Ribbon - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fwD31PfYp-0 The French were very proud of the fact that they qualified both a group and an individual in their own right and didn't need a host spot. Karbanov doesn't quite have the difficulty to contend for medals but her artistry is lovely and enjoyable. 😊 Bárbara Domingos (BRA) Ball - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UD_oAqQINLQ Domingos is pretty decisively the best RG in the Americas right now and I expect insanity when Rhythmic Worlds is held in Brazil next year. One of the things I love about this routine is you can clearly see how they can't grip the ball so the handling has to be precise. 😊 Milena Baldassarri (ITA) Hoop - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6beHGGdPq7M Baldassarri finished 6th in Tokyo and is probably the second Italian but she has a younger potential rival for that spot that is chasing at her heals. 😑 Tara Dragas (ITA) Ball - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cto6j-UgN6k I actually think the fight between the Italians for the second spot should be tighter than the German race but I just can't let go of the sense that it will go to Baldassarri. Dragas is young though and surely a name for the LA quad. 😊 Polina Berezina (ESP)
😊 Annaliese Dragan (ROU) Ball - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6A5zc1Ts_gM 😁 Wang Zilu (CHN) - Reallocated Host Quota
😁 Aliaa Saleh (EGY) - African Championships Quota Ball - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r40wQHtYQBA 😁 Evita Griskenas (USA) - Pan American Games Quota Ribbon - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=--ergCL_3Ow She is the 2019 Pan American Games AA champion and 2023 Pan American Games silver medalist. She will be the only American rhythmic representation in Paris as the US did not qualify a group. 😔 Alina Harnasko (AIN) Ribbon - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1YWf8A6Xem0 Harnasko is the Tokyo bronze medalist and without question I think the best non Bulgarian FIG authorized RGI who wont be in Paris. She can not qualify as her only path to the Olympics would have been the European Championships and European Gymnastics has maintained their ban. That said, I don't think even if Harnasko had been in Paris she would have medaled. Having watched her over the course of the season (as well as other Belarussians), it's fairly clear to me that the Belarussians haven't maintained the difficulty curve to stay competitive. That covers the top individuals, there will be another European (not from a previously qualified country) and an Australian in the field. Group isn't my thing and I'm not keeping a running tally of the leading scores for groups so this will be a bit more vibes Israel (2023 World Champions) 3 Ribbons/2 Balls https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3hVWyjhZzzU I think at the moment Israel is the most likely to medal in group (if not gold). But Group can go south very quickly as seen with the same group doing the same routine at the Palaio Faliro World Cup https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Zl0WAhN3CE Bulgaria (2022 World Champions) 3 Ribbons/2 Balls https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SXYwZmzSLZo But I hear you saying, why do I think Israel has better odds than Bulgaria? They're stunning. And aren't they the Olympic champions? Well yes, A Buglarian group were the Olympic Champions, but this is a different Bulgarian group. They are much younger and the pressure on them is tremendous and cracks show quite frequently. Most tragically at 2023 Worlds. When your 5 Hoops routine is suddenly a 7 Hoops routine as you yeet the apparatus out of bounds. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tVzWW0ulHFM Spain 5 Hoops https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4LxSPZAK_Vo China 5 Hoops https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6wd6wpMmFZo I desperately want the Chinese group to medal in Paris. They're my favs. I'm sorry I can't talk more coherently about groups than I can about individuals. Italy 5 Hoops https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e05ezkvFHGg Ukraine 5 Hoops https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4bUW61a17xU Brazil 3 Ribbons 2 Balls https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YlE2tP6mVRw This is a very early season competition but it's my favorite mixed apparatus group routine this year and I think showcases how different styles can be integrated into rhythmic. I can't wait to see this routine in Paris. France 3 Ribbons 2 Balls https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nZu9ZkZNkyQ Yes, this is the second Moulin Rouge I've shown you. Welcome to the Paris Olympics! Mexico - Pan American Games Quota 5 Hoops https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-K36uEWicn8 Egypt - African Championships Quota 3 Ribbons 2 Balls https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DGXCmYIpyAI Uzbekistan - Asian Championships Quota 5 Hoops https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fGjMF3VIXjQ Germany - Either the European Quota OR the Reallocated Host Quota 5 Hoops https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Py7M0QKBZ3g There will another European country which will either be whoever wins the European quota or if Germany wins it then AZE I have been salty about the fact that Australia gets a free pass to the Olympics despite finishing 23 of 24 Groups at 2023 Worlds but apparently they have a new group this year who I'm assured is not that bad. Anyway so that's the Olympic field, for the most part, because I'm a structural nerd I'm going to hit on a few other points. Corruption The sport has a terrible and long history of corruption, including judges cheating on FIG exams (you can thank rhythmic for why FIG doesn't like holding online exams), bribery, favoritism, and straight up writing the code of points to favor a particular athlete. I will be honest and tell you that the corruption kept me from giving the sport a chance for a long time and I don't blame you if you find it a non starter as well. It's still a problem but I have hope. There is no getting around that Rhythmic is essentially an Eastern European sport and Russia has dominated for many years in part because of the immense amount of money they spend not just at home but in other federations. One might say that Irina Viner bought herself a sport. Not that it wasn't for sale before Viner. To give a sense of the amount of money involved let's talk about palaces to Rhythmic Gymnastics. Literal Palaces. This is the Irina Viner-Usmanova Gymnastics Palace in Moscow. This is the National Gymnastics Arena in Baku, Azerbaijan, built in large part for the first lady/vice president of the country whose favorite sport is... you guest it. National Gymnastics Arena in Baku, Azerbaijan Just the mention of Baku is enough to send some rhythmic fans into PTSD flashbacks for completely unjustifiable scoring (and terrible camera work and and and ...) . The fact that the arena was built for Rhythmic though, will explain to Artistic fans why the arena can't put both a beam and a set of parallel bars on it's floor space at the same time at the Baku World Cup. The sport also has a vicious history of coaching abuse and eating disorders that I wont defend and I don't think has really been addressed. But the elephant in the room of all of this corruption and abuse is Irina Viner, the president of the Russian Rhythmic Gymnastics Federation. Irina Viner was married to Oligarch Alisher Usmanov, at one point Russia's richest man. He's currently the president of the European Fencing Federation which explains how they've massively botched handling Russian athletes. Her Wikipedia Article. They divorced for financial reasons after Usmanov was subject to many many many sanctions following the invasion of Ukraine. His mega yacht is stranded in Germany. Anyway, Irina Viner dresses like a Disney Villain and acts like one too. After she viciously attacked the judges at the Tokyo Olympics she was banned for 2 years starting from the day after Russia's international ban ends. https://preview.redd.it/0l3weeymcwzc1.jpg?width=866&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=960f12a402c0975dba57b994c64a50c826f91fe4 She has at different points told gymnasts that she'll kill them if they try to retire, and pulled Russian support from her own hand picked president of the Rhythmic Technical Committee because she didn't fall in line in Tokyo. The carrot to performing for Viner though is a promise of a marriage to an obscenely wealthy Russian man at the end of your career. Or you know... becoming the mother of Putin's children. Khorkina's face in this picture... https://preview.redd.it/2vv649gscwzc1.jpg?width=2200&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5514a3ffe55d47e28834bb3156ed49941b56f7d1 So they're banned and they've dominated the sport for so long surely they're doing amazing things at their domestic competitions now. Well... for values of amazing. Viner has decided to create her own personal code of points which the Russians are now competing to. It emphasizes elements that in previous FIG CoPs caused massive numbers of injuries. Massive scores despite obvious errors and their gymnasts are breaking down physically. They've also brought up a non-apparatus routine setting called Free Hands which is normally competed by juniors... but hey if Irina likes it she's playing in her own sandbox now. Would the Russians be competitive if they were in Paris? Sure. Probably. But maybe not? It's hard to tell when they're playing in lala land and have routines composed for an entirely different code of points. No Russians have applied for FIG AIN status. But here is the best part.... Rhythmic Gymnastics is taking the time they have without the Russians and without Viner and they're fixing as much as they can as fast as they can. The age for juniors was raised last year (something Irina very much did not want) and the 2025-28 Code of Points takes a hatchet to a lot of the difficulty stacking (very broad over simplification) that has been written into previous codes to favor particular Russian gymnasts. They're basically unwinding what she did to the CoP either directly or through her influence. And right now Rhythmic is more competitive than it's ever been. A wide variety of countries are winning medals, and the RGI All Around in Paris looks to be the most unpredictable that it has ever been and much more unpredictable than the artistic all arounds. The biggest looming issue for Rhythmic though is the IOC's clear dislike of single gendered sports. With the introduction of men to artistic swimming it's hard to think that Rhythmic will stay in the Olympics for very long if they don't find some way to include men. There are two competing styles of men's rhythmic but neither has a mass of athletes. The first is Japanese Men's Rhythmic which includes things you normally would see in Artistic. Some argue that it's basically a different sport. Japanese Men's Rhythmic Example: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D48ZPoY2e2Y The second style is Spanish Men's Rhythmic which more closely echoes the women's discipline. Spanish Men's Rhythmic Example: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BckY1Glglrg Men's rhythmic faces a lot of resistance rooted in homophobia and I don't know how it's going to resolve. But the IOC is pretty much an unmovable object and they have been systematically forcing gendered integration on single gender sports. If you want to learn more here is a great video from a few years ago about the state of Men's Rhythmic and showing a lot of examples: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gNhLauzoYOk I'll leave you off with one last routine. 😑 Taisiia Onofriichuk (UKR) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ndz58tmfBVQ Onofriichuk will almost certainly not be in Paris but I feel like her exhausting ribbon is a good way to end this marathon of a thread. |
2024.05.08 19:16 Calm_Education_3131 Disgusting 🤮
Her newest video sitting in her bra eating soup dumplings has me so grossed out. Who puts MAYO on soup dumplings? She is a literal 🐖. Aunty if you see this get some help because you are spiraling.
submitted by Calm_Education_3131 to gollumloveshotyoga [link] [comments]
2024.05.04 14:18 collie_daft Uninvited mum to wedding - have a I been too harsh?
My mum (73 F) and I (35F) have always had a strained relationship as long as I can remember. Our household growing up had shouting daily from her - towards my dad, me, my brother and my sister. My dad just puts up with her, says nothing and just gets on with it, my brother has had severe mental health issues and low self esteem which is now better he has a partner and son, and my sister always just buried herself in books when young and moved away. We all still go home to our parents, we’ve always had a really good relationship with our dad however we are all in agreement that our mum has never really bothered or cared much about us.
Growing up my mum continuously would say I had a big stomach and looked fat and in outfits - mostly was when I was going to an event/occassion/dance so I’ve always been self conscious of that. All of us were extremely fat when young, our mum and dad have terrible eating habits and our mum would tell us to eat crisps, chocolate or yoghurt everytime we said we were hungry. We had dinner at 7pm when young because it was convenient for them as parents, and she never cooked from scratch and it was always freezer food. We never had veg, salad, or fruit as it was too expensive. We also never had bedtimes and up as late as we wanted, no boundaries. My dad worked 2 jobs while mum stayed at home … so I get things were extremely hard. It was difficult. Their relationship and communication is crap, so it isn’t great overall. But same time she has never had a proper job or career because she could never cope and never got on with anyone. My mum has no friends, has fallen out with every single neighbour we had, and every community thing someone’s always been horrible to her so she never did anything.
So now we are all adults we are aware of the shortcomings of our parents but have tried to be nice and accept the situation and our mum for who she is. She has never once phoned any of us since we left home, our dad phoned each of us every few nights, and when we are abroad working or on holiday, he always cared for us. She doesn’t enjoy having all of us home, she finds it too much however my dad is the opposite and loves having us there.
When I was young it was so bad between my mum and me that I said when I left home I’d refuse to come back but my dad would beg me and cry and so I would agree to go home to see him. I never spoke to my mum for almost 4 years when I left home. My mum used to call me a dirty slut and slap me on several occasions when I was a teenager so I still have those memories and resent her for that. She never helped me with my periods or got me a bra. She would get very embarrassed about anything like that and she’s never once spoke to me in my life about it. When she worked briefly when I was a teenager I used to phone her to ask her to buy me some pads, but she used to shout at me and say how embarrassing it was for her and could I not ask her to buy any. But she would never provide any so I didn’t know what to do. I was brought up in the countryside, takes an hour to get to our main town on a bus. My sister was always much more confident than me and more educated because she read loads of books so was more mature than me also. Me and my sister were never close growing up and we never spoke about periods or girl stuff. I was an EXTREMELY self conscious kid who was very shy and always nervous. My boobs are much bigger than my sisters and she never had an issue in gym with needing a bra so it was never an issue for her while I developed big boobs young and I never even had a trainer bra, my mum wasn’t even going to get my one until my sister suggested it to her. I don’t know what it is with my mum but she’s never been comfortable communicating with me. So odd for a woman to be so self conscious of things?
Things are much different now. I went to study nursing at age 22 and that’s when I started realising how strange my mum was. I was a bit aware as a teenager seeing my friends with their mums but as I got older I started figuring out how families communicate and watched how really kind older women nurses would care for patients and I just really gravitated to these caring ladies and loved having their friendships. They actually spoke to me like a friend and had a laugh which I’d never experienced before. I am a confident person now (to an extent and as much as possible considering) and I am very open about all topics, have a laugh, just very easy going will talk about anything.
I spoke to my mum in my 20s about everything and laid it out how I thought she had depression and would she consider counselling, however this was very frowned upon and it was a noway ‘i’m fine’ she said. Since then I’ve worked really hard to build our relationship and I’ve read lots of books, done a lot of personal reflection, attended counselling myself. Overall now I realise how insecure, unhappy and lacking of self esteem my mum has had and I actually have felt sorry for her. Even her sister (my auntie) says the same about her and she calls her an enigma. My auntie is complimentary how well all of us have turned out considering how we were brought up.
Also 5 years ago I was diagnosed coeliac and everything clicked - I then understood why my stomach was so big all these years, very bloated. I also was severely deficient in vitamins/nutrients, B12, iron etc and now feel like a different person. I feel super human now and realise how much I struggled my whole life prior. I realised how majorly depressed I was my whole life and it contributed to a host of my issues, many which are now resolved. A lot of embarrassing personal problems which was really bad as I was too embarrassed to even go to the doctor thanks to my mum.
I have a lovely life now, lovely partner, great job, I’m healthy, getting fitter, love nature, have lots of friends and enjoy lots of hobbies etc. We are due to get married in October and we are having a big party and what my family class as a ‘big wedding’ however it is pretty casual at our local village hall. Me and my partner are paying for everything and we’re pretty chilled out about it all.
The only problem we have is my mum. I knew she’d be self conscious that she’s MOTB and some had made a comment about it. And so have offered her help to find an outfit etc. I’ve booked hair and make up for her so she feels her best on the day and I will be paying for that. (Btw it’s not as if she doesn’t have money, she does. She got money from her mum when she passed away years ago and all the time goes on about how much money ‘she’ has … not her and my dad. It’s ‘her’ money.) Anyway everytime any of us offer to help her with her outfit or try speak to her she just isn’t interested and has declined any offers of us going shopping together. She said she would wear an old dress she has in her wardrobe (from 1980s!) and that my dad will wear his old grey suit. I offered to buy my dad or rent him a new suit which I had an idea of him wearing and he seemed keen but my mum kept arguing with us. That day my partner was with me and he first hand saw how my parents were behaving and even he got very frustrated and said he’d almost lost it with my mum. He was so frustrated and comes from a nice quiet family where they all get on and are fairly ‘normal’. What frustrated him most was the fact that she turned around the conversation on to me saying her biggest concern is that I’d not fit in to my dress and how she was so embarrassed of me when younger at my prom dance with what I wore etc. this was back when I was 16/17 and I’m 35 now. She went on and on about me being horrible. She keeps deflecting the conversation from herself on to me .. which I’m used to, but my partner was shocked and he struggles to understand her. So that was actually the second time she’d commented on my weight and I’d mentioned previously how I was upset she had done it prior so when she did it again I wasn’t happy.
The tipping point came last week when I was at my parents and my mum hadn’t really made a dent on cleaning the house. She is a hoarder (yes full on mental health problem!) and we are hosting my hen party in my parents garden. Me and my sister started tidying the main dining room a few weeks ago to help out but my mum won’t let us touch her stuff. We have offered to take photos, put everything in boxes then put it back after the party - and she seemed fine about this and seemed keen to start sorting and have help doing it. However when I went home last weekend she’d not done anything by the looks of things, and I commented that there hadn’t been much progress. Well she started shouting at me and said she’d not seen progress on my weight loss ! Well I’d just had enough. And I uninvited her to my wedding. She’s just so spiteful and horrible, says I started it by attacking her so she’s being horrible back. She genuinely can’t see we are trying to help and be nice. And also, I am a size 14 just now - yes I could be fitter, but I’m not huge !
Later my auntie contacted me and she can see it is decades long build up of resentment and I’d just reached my limit - which made me think, yeah it is. And for once I thought she be happy and excited for me, and make an effort for my wedding/hen party.
My partner is in agreement and knows what my mum is like and he can’t get over how little they’re interested in our wedding and have done nothing to be involved or to help in anyway. He’s really hurt and upset by it but doesn’t want to rock the boat and get involved at the same time.
I’ve tried my best to be supportive, patient, and kind. But I have now got to a point of when will she put people other than herself first. I have never expected anything off her and I feel she’s lucky that she still has relationships with her children and a husband who looks after her. Because she certainly has never put in any effort in or seems bothered. There are people out there that can’t have children and they are desperate and would love to have a family, and I just feel she is so fortunate with what she has in life and is so unappreciative. She is very privileged, went to private school, got money off her mum, has this beautiful house in the countryside that could be amazing and that we could never afford nowadays however it is in a dire state, she takes no pride in anything. She has a lovely husband and family, children who are NICE people and she seems to think we are the devil. We are very independent, all work, we have never asked her for support etc. She has a dream life … yet appreciates nothing.
So I actually moved home with them during Covid, I didn’t have to stay but they seemed to enjoy it and seemed to work for us all at the time, and it helped me save money for a house deposit. Our relationship seemed much better, we all got on well, we got a lovely elderly dog and I could walk him and they loved having him so it was really nice. My mum was also diagnosed with breast cancer so me being there I thought was good support for them. They are both getting elderly also so extra help and a bit of a laugh at times. Then she started getting frustrated at me that I was there which I totally understood and it was getting too much. I was actually working a job where I stayed away overnight 2 nights a week and met my now fiance so was at his a couple nights a week also, so it was more a base and I realised she needed a break from me. So I then agreed to move in with my bf.
However around that time she went mental one day about something (possibly a mug or dish, we realise she does have pretty bad OCD and can’t cope with people there all the time). But she actually told me she hated me, and didn’t like anything about me. I was very calm and so I asked her why that was, and was there anything at all she liked about me and she said that when she had kids she didn’t think she’d have to bother about us when we were 18 and that we’d just go off and do our own thing, and that there was nothing she liked about me. She said she couldn’t list anything she liked about me. Now that really hurt me, but I tried to ask her why she thought that was and that it’s ashame she doesn’t want friendships with her children, and that we’re nice people if she wanted to get to know us. She said she’s my mother and she’s not my friend. She did mention something about her dad that it was very strict and serious, and I did try to make her think a little and asked her why would she not want different to what she experienced. Anyway that was a few years ago and I still spoke to her after this because I just genuinely felt sad about everything. Sad that she can’t enjoy us. Sad she can’t seem to enjoy anything in life.
My brother and his partner had a baby in January and my brother sent a photo and video of our mum holding my nephew and she was laughing and smiling in it … my brother was amazed and commented how we’d never seen her laugh or smile ever and look how different she is.
Growing up I can’t ever remember getting a hug off her. She never comforted me, or any of us. I remember my brother cut his finger with a sharp knife cutting beaches in the garden and looking back his injury was AWFUL he should have gone to hospital, he could have lost his fingers and bled out. I remember my brother as a teenager standing at the sink white as a ghost with blood gushing out his finger and my mum just walked out the kitchen and said ‘well it’s your own fault’ and she left. And then my brother walked out crying and went to his room with blood soaking through kitchen roll. This makes me well up and I feel sorry for my brother. There was a number of things that happened over the years where she treated him like this. I found out from his now gf that when she first started dating him she found a noose on his house. He cut everyone off for 2 years prior to this, I used to see him and I’d txt him and go visit him when I could. He worked away so it was quite hard. But my mum went to visit him one day, left the car running, walked up to his door to invite him to dinner and he asked her in for a cup of tea. She declined and left. That was the first contact she had with him In 2 years and she was miffed he never took her up on her offer of a meal out. She’s ridiculous. I was like ehh why didn’t you go in for a cup of tea and a chat, she said she was busy. She isn’t busy, she doesn’t do anything all day long. He was in hospital with a suspected stroke a few years ago also and neither of my parents went to visit him. He contacted my dad and told him, and I was in a different city at the time and didn’t know as my brother or parents hadn’t got in touch. So by the time I found out he was already home. They didn’t even go to see him, they didn’t even think it was a big deal enough to tell me ! I was so upset with them and I did email them telling them how disappointed I was in them. I’d reached a point then I just couldn’t understand them any longer.
There are so many things over the years.
Since I’ve uninvited my mum neither my dad or mum have called to speak to me. They just expect things to blow over and make out like it’s me who’s the problem and the drama queen. I’ve just had enough.
I have spent a lot of my late 20s and early 30s trying to make sense of them both, their relationship etc, and I thought they’d maybe finally learned a thing or two … but they never will. All I want is a mum I can sit and have a tea with and a giggle. I so long for that … but am so aware it’ll never happen.
My parents are unhappy together and my mum just spends all day everyday moaning and shouting at my dad, and he just ignores her all the time, and then she moans about that too !
And my siblings and I are so happy with our partners and our lives … and I personally feel like the only thing that brings me down now is my parents. My dad just ignores everything and pretends it’s all fine. There’s other drama with him and my half siblings and he doesn’t have good relationships with them either and he behaves erratically threatening them. I understand that as he’s had TIA’s in the past and his personality has changed a bit, however my half siblings aren’t quite as understanding.
It’s just sad, the whole situation. And what drama ! I just can’t be doing with it and want a quiet, peaceful life to enjoy.
But does anyone have any advice for me? Or any suggestions?
Part of me feels I should go and speak with them, be the bigger person once again. But I’m just tired of it. It’s like I always have to be the adult and take the first step. Or should I just cut my losses and keep them out of my life? It feels so sad, but like a weight has been lifted.
I thought my dad would have reached out to me and that’s hurt me so much… I really don’t know if I can forgive them this time.
Sad times. Thanks for reading.
submitted by collie_daft to AskWomenOver30 [link] [comments]
Growing up my mum continuously would say I had a big stomach and looked fat and in outfits - mostly was when I was going to an event/occassion/dance so I’ve always been self conscious of that. All of us were extremely fat when young, our mum and dad have terrible eating habits and our mum would tell us to eat crisps, chocolate or yoghurt everytime we said we were hungry. We had dinner at 7pm when young because it was convenient for them as parents, and she never cooked from scratch and it was always freezer food. We never had veg, salad, or fruit as it was too expensive. We also never had bedtimes and up as late as we wanted, no boundaries. My dad worked 2 jobs while mum stayed at home … so I get things were extremely hard. It was difficult. Their relationship and communication is crap, so it isn’t great overall. But same time she has never had a proper job or career because she could never cope and never got on with anyone. My mum has no friends, has fallen out with every single neighbour we had, and every community thing someone’s always been horrible to her so she never did anything.
So now we are all adults we are aware of the shortcomings of our parents but have tried to be nice and accept the situation and our mum for who she is. She has never once phoned any of us since we left home, our dad phoned each of us every few nights, and when we are abroad working or on holiday, he always cared for us. She doesn’t enjoy having all of us home, she finds it too much however my dad is the opposite and loves having us there.
When I was young it was so bad between my mum and me that I said when I left home I’d refuse to come back but my dad would beg me and cry and so I would agree to go home to see him. I never spoke to my mum for almost 4 years when I left home. My mum used to call me a dirty slut and slap me on several occasions when I was a teenager so I still have those memories and resent her for that. She never helped me with my periods or got me a bra. She would get very embarrassed about anything like that and she’s never once spoke to me in my life about it. When she worked briefly when I was a teenager I used to phone her to ask her to buy me some pads, but she used to shout at me and say how embarrassing it was for her and could I not ask her to buy any. But she would never provide any so I didn’t know what to do. I was brought up in the countryside, takes an hour to get to our main town on a bus. My sister was always much more confident than me and more educated because she read loads of books so was more mature than me also. Me and my sister were never close growing up and we never spoke about periods or girl stuff. I was an EXTREMELY self conscious kid who was very shy and always nervous. My boobs are much bigger than my sisters and she never had an issue in gym with needing a bra so it was never an issue for her while I developed big boobs young and I never even had a trainer bra, my mum wasn’t even going to get my one until my sister suggested it to her. I don’t know what it is with my mum but she’s never been comfortable communicating with me. So odd for a woman to be so self conscious of things?
Things are much different now. I went to study nursing at age 22 and that’s when I started realising how strange my mum was. I was a bit aware as a teenager seeing my friends with their mums but as I got older I started figuring out how families communicate and watched how really kind older women nurses would care for patients and I just really gravitated to these caring ladies and loved having their friendships. They actually spoke to me like a friend and had a laugh which I’d never experienced before. I am a confident person now (to an extent and as much as possible considering) and I am very open about all topics, have a laugh, just very easy going will talk about anything.
I spoke to my mum in my 20s about everything and laid it out how I thought she had depression and would she consider counselling, however this was very frowned upon and it was a noway ‘i’m fine’ she said. Since then I’ve worked really hard to build our relationship and I’ve read lots of books, done a lot of personal reflection, attended counselling myself. Overall now I realise how insecure, unhappy and lacking of self esteem my mum has had and I actually have felt sorry for her. Even her sister (my auntie) says the same about her and she calls her an enigma. My auntie is complimentary how well all of us have turned out considering how we were brought up.
Also 5 years ago I was diagnosed coeliac and everything clicked - I then understood why my stomach was so big all these years, very bloated. I also was severely deficient in vitamins/nutrients, B12, iron etc and now feel like a different person. I feel super human now and realise how much I struggled my whole life prior. I realised how majorly depressed I was my whole life and it contributed to a host of my issues, many which are now resolved. A lot of embarrassing personal problems which was really bad as I was too embarrassed to even go to the doctor thanks to my mum.
I have a lovely life now, lovely partner, great job, I’m healthy, getting fitter, love nature, have lots of friends and enjoy lots of hobbies etc. We are due to get married in October and we are having a big party and what my family class as a ‘big wedding’ however it is pretty casual at our local village hall. Me and my partner are paying for everything and we’re pretty chilled out about it all.
The only problem we have is my mum. I knew she’d be self conscious that she’s MOTB and some had made a comment about it. And so have offered her help to find an outfit etc. I’ve booked hair and make up for her so she feels her best on the day and I will be paying for that. (Btw it’s not as if she doesn’t have money, she does. She got money from her mum when she passed away years ago and all the time goes on about how much money ‘she’ has … not her and my dad. It’s ‘her’ money.) Anyway everytime any of us offer to help her with her outfit or try speak to her she just isn’t interested and has declined any offers of us going shopping together. She said she would wear an old dress she has in her wardrobe (from 1980s!) and that my dad will wear his old grey suit. I offered to buy my dad or rent him a new suit which I had an idea of him wearing and he seemed keen but my mum kept arguing with us. That day my partner was with me and he first hand saw how my parents were behaving and even he got very frustrated and said he’d almost lost it with my mum. He was so frustrated and comes from a nice quiet family where they all get on and are fairly ‘normal’. What frustrated him most was the fact that she turned around the conversation on to me saying her biggest concern is that I’d not fit in to my dress and how she was so embarrassed of me when younger at my prom dance with what I wore etc. this was back when I was 16/17 and I’m 35 now. She went on and on about me being horrible. She keeps deflecting the conversation from herself on to me .. which I’m used to, but my partner was shocked and he struggles to understand her. So that was actually the second time she’d commented on my weight and I’d mentioned previously how I was upset she had done it prior so when she did it again I wasn’t happy.
The tipping point came last week when I was at my parents and my mum hadn’t really made a dent on cleaning the house. She is a hoarder (yes full on mental health problem!) and we are hosting my hen party in my parents garden. Me and my sister started tidying the main dining room a few weeks ago to help out but my mum won’t let us touch her stuff. We have offered to take photos, put everything in boxes then put it back after the party - and she seemed fine about this and seemed keen to start sorting and have help doing it. However when I went home last weekend she’d not done anything by the looks of things, and I commented that there hadn’t been much progress. Well she started shouting at me and said she’d not seen progress on my weight loss ! Well I’d just had enough. And I uninvited her to my wedding. She’s just so spiteful and horrible, says I started it by attacking her so she’s being horrible back. She genuinely can’t see we are trying to help and be nice. And also, I am a size 14 just now - yes I could be fitter, but I’m not huge !
Later my auntie contacted me and she can see it is decades long build up of resentment and I’d just reached my limit - which made me think, yeah it is. And for once I thought she be happy and excited for me, and make an effort for my wedding/hen party.
My partner is in agreement and knows what my mum is like and he can’t get over how little they’re interested in our wedding and have done nothing to be involved or to help in anyway. He’s really hurt and upset by it but doesn’t want to rock the boat and get involved at the same time.
I’ve tried my best to be supportive, patient, and kind. But I have now got to a point of when will she put people other than herself first. I have never expected anything off her and I feel she’s lucky that she still has relationships with her children and a husband who looks after her. Because she certainly has never put in any effort in or seems bothered. There are people out there that can’t have children and they are desperate and would love to have a family, and I just feel she is so fortunate with what she has in life and is so unappreciative. She is very privileged, went to private school, got money off her mum, has this beautiful house in the countryside that could be amazing and that we could never afford nowadays however it is in a dire state, she takes no pride in anything. She has a lovely husband and family, children who are NICE people and she seems to think we are the devil. We are very independent, all work, we have never asked her for support etc. She has a dream life … yet appreciates nothing.
So I actually moved home with them during Covid, I didn’t have to stay but they seemed to enjoy it and seemed to work for us all at the time, and it helped me save money for a house deposit. Our relationship seemed much better, we all got on well, we got a lovely elderly dog and I could walk him and they loved having him so it was really nice. My mum was also diagnosed with breast cancer so me being there I thought was good support for them. They are both getting elderly also so extra help and a bit of a laugh at times. Then she started getting frustrated at me that I was there which I totally understood and it was getting too much. I was actually working a job where I stayed away overnight 2 nights a week and met my now fiance so was at his a couple nights a week also, so it was more a base and I realised she needed a break from me. So I then agreed to move in with my bf.
However around that time she went mental one day about something (possibly a mug or dish, we realise she does have pretty bad OCD and can’t cope with people there all the time). But she actually told me she hated me, and didn’t like anything about me. I was very calm and so I asked her why that was, and was there anything at all she liked about me and she said that when she had kids she didn’t think she’d have to bother about us when we were 18 and that we’d just go off and do our own thing, and that there was nothing she liked about me. She said she couldn’t list anything she liked about me. Now that really hurt me, but I tried to ask her why she thought that was and that it’s ashame she doesn’t want friendships with her children, and that we’re nice people if she wanted to get to know us. She said she’s my mother and she’s not my friend. She did mention something about her dad that it was very strict and serious, and I did try to make her think a little and asked her why would she not want different to what she experienced. Anyway that was a few years ago and I still spoke to her after this because I just genuinely felt sad about everything. Sad that she can’t enjoy us. Sad she can’t seem to enjoy anything in life.
My brother and his partner had a baby in January and my brother sent a photo and video of our mum holding my nephew and she was laughing and smiling in it … my brother was amazed and commented how we’d never seen her laugh or smile ever and look how different she is.
Growing up I can’t ever remember getting a hug off her. She never comforted me, or any of us. I remember my brother cut his finger with a sharp knife cutting beaches in the garden and looking back his injury was AWFUL he should have gone to hospital, he could have lost his fingers and bled out. I remember my brother as a teenager standing at the sink white as a ghost with blood gushing out his finger and my mum just walked out the kitchen and said ‘well it’s your own fault’ and she left. And then my brother walked out crying and went to his room with blood soaking through kitchen roll. This makes me well up and I feel sorry for my brother. There was a number of things that happened over the years where she treated him like this. I found out from his now gf that when she first started dating him she found a noose on his house. He cut everyone off for 2 years prior to this, I used to see him and I’d txt him and go visit him when I could. He worked away so it was quite hard. But my mum went to visit him one day, left the car running, walked up to his door to invite him to dinner and he asked her in for a cup of tea. She declined and left. That was the first contact she had with him In 2 years and she was miffed he never took her up on her offer of a meal out. She’s ridiculous. I was like ehh why didn’t you go in for a cup of tea and a chat, she said she was busy. She isn’t busy, she doesn’t do anything all day long. He was in hospital with a suspected stroke a few years ago also and neither of my parents went to visit him. He contacted my dad and told him, and I was in a different city at the time and didn’t know as my brother or parents hadn’t got in touch. So by the time I found out he was already home. They didn’t even go to see him, they didn’t even think it was a big deal enough to tell me ! I was so upset with them and I did email them telling them how disappointed I was in them. I’d reached a point then I just couldn’t understand them any longer.
There are so many things over the years.
Since I’ve uninvited my mum neither my dad or mum have called to speak to me. They just expect things to blow over and make out like it’s me who’s the problem and the drama queen. I’ve just had enough.
I have spent a lot of my late 20s and early 30s trying to make sense of them both, their relationship etc, and I thought they’d maybe finally learned a thing or two … but they never will. All I want is a mum I can sit and have a tea with and a giggle. I so long for that … but am so aware it’ll never happen.
My parents are unhappy together and my mum just spends all day everyday moaning and shouting at my dad, and he just ignores her all the time, and then she moans about that too !
And my siblings and I are so happy with our partners and our lives … and I personally feel like the only thing that brings me down now is my parents. My dad just ignores everything and pretends it’s all fine. There’s other drama with him and my half siblings and he doesn’t have good relationships with them either and he behaves erratically threatening them. I understand that as he’s had TIA’s in the past and his personality has changed a bit, however my half siblings aren’t quite as understanding.
It’s just sad, the whole situation. And what drama ! I just can’t be doing with it and want a quiet, peaceful life to enjoy.
But does anyone have any advice for me? Or any suggestions?
Part of me feels I should go and speak with them, be the bigger person once again. But I’m just tired of it. It’s like I always have to be the adult and take the first step. Or should I just cut my losses and keep them out of my life? It feels so sad, but like a weight has been lifted.
I thought my dad would have reached out to me and that’s hurt me so much… I really don’t know if I can forgive them this time.
Sad times. Thanks for reading.
2024.05.02 07:16 Chillaxyl6789 Story of slutty mom
Hi everyone My name is shirali 48 married. Son 22 daughter 21.
I was born to a Coorgi mother and a Tamil father. So my features were mixed with glass skin cat eyes and smooth body 38 30 36 D cup bra and L panty. Take the Omphie bust.
I was used by some relatives and neighbors both boys and girls during school time.
Even now my urges increase and I indulge in deliberately seducing others and I am happy when people look at me.
Mostly I wear casual clothes to work. I work in advertising marketing and my job involves many meetings with clients and office or client parties.
My husband owns a luxury car dealership abroad, he rarely visits or calls us. So I don't have to worry about the future.
Childhood
I was 5.4 feet tall in the school and had an athletic body and played many sports including cricket and tennis.
It got me involved with the boys at school and local sports clubs. The boy drooled as my breasts bounced as I ran. They grabbed me by my nipple pokies on my sports shirt sticking out. I used to wear sleeveless tops that showed off my cleavage and areolas while playing tennis.
Every week I clean my son's room Although he occasionally cleans my son's room, the maids do the other rooms. I realized he was staring at my hanging breasts without a bra
The next week I caught him downloading porn and he subscribed to live porn sites. I was surprised to find that he also subscribed to incest porn sites, although a common trait for boys. And a lot of money was transferred from his bank to many women of my age I wondered why he dated older women more than younger ones. I was praying that he should not have sex with them. Fortunately, I was relieved to know the reason later.
A vdo made me freeze in which a mom and son incest. Though I thought it is doable for the moment I thought it's not normal and unrealistic.
That made me think about behavior of young boys towards aunties like me. I started noticing my son's friends behavior with me. So far I never felt bad when they shook hands or embrace speck a kiss during celebrations like birthdays etc.
One day I overheard a conversation of boys boasting about their misdemeanors in public busses and trains with women. How they grope rub flash in public. It induced me to take a bus or train ride to see what really happens. So one day I took a train ride in general compartment. I found majority were men and very few ladies.
I was eager to see any male making advances to some female. After 30mins of travel everything was normal and nothing happened. I got bored and decided to get down at next stop.
As I was about to exit the compartment a middle aged female who was wearing sleazy dress gaudy makeup strong perfume entered the compartment and immediately most men were goring her with their eyes. So I stayed back to watch what happens.
A 50 something man got up from his seat and it to her and other men were ogling at her. He asked her which station does she want to get down and the lady answered with a slur some station. He said that he is also alighting at same which seemed far off. She replied in local accent without diction, telling him share the seat. The man glowed and addressed her as Madam n thanked her n sat along with her. As I wanted to see what happens, I got up my seat went to a girl who was seated opposite the lady n man told the girl to take my seat and offer me her seat she obliged.
Sitting in front of them I observed both of them very keenly. The told her something which was not audible and immediately the female laughed loud and told him to give 3000 rupees in an incoherent speech which made me think she is drunk. The agreed by nodding and she immediately started squeezing his crotch in public to which the man never objected. By the time some the train stopped they both got off the train holding each other's waists.
I got aroused seeing this and took a bus ride the same evening in a transparent lowest waist saree low cut sleeveless blouse in full makeup. The bus conductor asked me for ticket I told him that I get down at last stop. While he gave the ticked he held my hand and scratched his nail on my palm. I kept aloof as he is on duty but he kept on walking past me and brushing his body against mine whenever possible until the bus got crowded. I stood holding a a railing atop one by my right side. This made every male in the bus who got down had to ask me for passage. Heat n humidity made my bra n erect pokies visible. After a while I felt someone almost on me in the crowd brushing their body on mine. I got wet in between my thighs to know that 3 men, one ahead one by side one more on my back were rubbing on me. By the time I could move the man facing me groped my breasts and started to squeeze it. My erect nipples pained by it but he continued to my pleasure. I felt erect cock rubbing my ass from behind and another hand kneading my butts. I felt drugged bliss by three on me at once closed my eyes and relishing the moment.
The man in front took my hand to his dick area. I was shocked when I touched his dick going naked for me in a bus throbbing in my palm. I cud feel his sweaty cock and a mild odor emanating which made me pump him vigorously till he leaked in my palm. Without shame it took it to my nose smelt and licked it too.
I took regular bus rides during peak hours in the crowd.
Contd
submitted by Chillaxyl6789 to stories [link] [comments]
I was born to a Coorgi mother and a Tamil father. So my features were mixed with glass skin cat eyes and smooth body 38 30 36 D cup bra and L panty. Take the Omphie bust.
I was used by some relatives and neighbors both boys and girls during school time.
Even now my urges increase and I indulge in deliberately seducing others and I am happy when people look at me.
Mostly I wear casual clothes to work. I work in advertising marketing and my job involves many meetings with clients and office or client parties.
My husband owns a luxury car dealership abroad, he rarely visits or calls us. So I don't have to worry about the future.
Childhood
I was 5.4 feet tall in the school and had an athletic body and played many sports including cricket and tennis.
It got me involved with the boys at school and local sports clubs. The boy drooled as my breasts bounced as I ran. They grabbed me by my nipple pokies on my sports shirt sticking out. I used to wear sleeveless tops that showed off my cleavage and areolas while playing tennis.
Every week I clean my son's room Although he occasionally cleans my son's room, the maids do the other rooms. I realized he was staring at my hanging breasts without a bra
The next week I caught him downloading porn and he subscribed to live porn sites. I was surprised to find that he also subscribed to incest porn sites, although a common trait for boys. And a lot of money was transferred from his bank to many women of my age I wondered why he dated older women more than younger ones. I was praying that he should not have sex with them. Fortunately, I was relieved to know the reason later.
A vdo made me freeze in which a mom and son incest. Though I thought it is doable for the moment I thought it's not normal and unrealistic.
That made me think about behavior of young boys towards aunties like me. I started noticing my son's friends behavior with me. So far I never felt bad when they shook hands or embrace speck a kiss during celebrations like birthdays etc.
One day I overheard a conversation of boys boasting about their misdemeanors in public busses and trains with women. How they grope rub flash in public. It induced me to take a bus or train ride to see what really happens. So one day I took a train ride in general compartment. I found majority were men and very few ladies.
I was eager to see any male making advances to some female. After 30mins of travel everything was normal and nothing happened. I got bored and decided to get down at next stop.
As I was about to exit the compartment a middle aged female who was wearing sleazy dress gaudy makeup strong perfume entered the compartment and immediately most men were goring her with their eyes. So I stayed back to watch what happens.
A 50 something man got up from his seat and it to her and other men were ogling at her. He asked her which station does she want to get down and the lady answered with a slur some station. He said that he is also alighting at same which seemed far off. She replied in local accent without diction, telling him share the seat. The man glowed and addressed her as Madam n thanked her n sat along with her. As I wanted to see what happens, I got up my seat went to a girl who was seated opposite the lady n man told the girl to take my seat and offer me her seat she obliged.
Sitting in front of them I observed both of them very keenly. The told her something which was not audible and immediately the female laughed loud and told him to give 3000 rupees in an incoherent speech which made me think she is drunk. The agreed by nodding and she immediately started squeezing his crotch in public to which the man never objected. By the time some the train stopped they both got off the train holding each other's waists.
I got aroused seeing this and took a bus ride the same evening in a transparent lowest waist saree low cut sleeveless blouse in full makeup. The bus conductor asked me for ticket I told him that I get down at last stop. While he gave the ticked he held my hand and scratched his nail on my palm. I kept aloof as he is on duty but he kept on walking past me and brushing his body against mine whenever possible until the bus got crowded. I stood holding a a railing atop one by my right side. This made every male in the bus who got down had to ask me for passage. Heat n humidity made my bra n erect pokies visible. After a while I felt someone almost on me in the crowd brushing their body on mine. I got wet in between my thighs to know that 3 men, one ahead one by side one more on my back were rubbing on me. By the time I could move the man facing me groped my breasts and started to squeeze it. My erect nipples pained by it but he continued to my pleasure. I felt erect cock rubbing my ass from behind and another hand kneading my butts. I felt drugged bliss by three on me at once closed my eyes and relishing the moment.
The man in front took my hand to his dick area. I was shocked when I touched his dick going naked for me in a bus throbbing in my palm. I cud feel his sweaty cock and a mild odor emanating which made me pump him vigorously till he leaked in my palm. Without shame it took it to my nose smelt and licked it too.
I took regular bus rides during peak hours in the crowd.
Contd
2024.04.27 05:31 Funny-Compote9018 My mom frequently mock my physical appearance.
To start off, my parents are very supportive in whatever I do, they care and provide all my basic needs. But sometimes, my mom(especially) would say really hurtful things and I don't think she even knows that. She thinks it's funny, but it really is not. I'm a 23y/o female 5'2 and 100lb (i'm literally an avg girl you see on the street) and my mom would joke around other people saying things like no man would have any desire if they see me. She would say that I need to stuff my bra with tissue because it got nothing to support. I don't really care what she thinks but the problem is she likes to say that in front of my cousins and aunties. Deep down I know that she's saying that out loud to make my cousins feel better(they're extremely overweight), so she would drag me down. She would say that I look older than I am with how skinny I am. I don't normally have any self-esteem issue but I wish my mom has more respect to me when it comes to commenting about my physical appearance...
submitted by Funny-Compote9018 to Advice [link] [comments]
2024.04.23 05:41 nicehotcupoftea [Discussion] Read the World Guyana - The Far Away Girl: Chapter 23 through 33
Well hello again fellow travellers! I hope you're enjoying how the story is developing. I'm going to lead us through this middle section of our book, and I'll start with a bit of a refresher. Feel free to add your own questions.
The Foot family move into Kaieteur Close, and Rita falls immediately in love with Archie. Rita's classmates engage in some teasing of the newcomer, and Rita participates by writing cheeky rhymes, one of which ends up in the teacher's hands. After being made to read aloud the smutty poem, the class ends in uncontrolled laughter and a detention for Rita. Rita goes to a party and dances with Archie; she's in heaven.
Luisa has grown out of her cute toddler stage and developed into an annoying younger sister. Rita and Chandra are fighting a subtle battle over Luisa's allegiance. Rita's dilemma is that she wants to be Luisa's favourite, but is increasingly having to discipline her. One day they are playing at the Foots' house and Luisa is really naughty. When Rita tries to take her home, Luisa retaliates by revealing the green sponges Rita has stuffed in her bra. Luisa is screaming, and Chandra comforts her "darling girl". Luisa is highly manipulative and has both Rita and Chandra hooked around her little finger.
Rita recovers from her loss quickly when the hot American "older man" called Ross arrives to stay with his parents who have moved in next door. Rita and her friends make prank phone calls to him. One day Ross accidentally drives over Luisa's bicycle and comes to apologise. They go in his car to buy a replacement and Luisa embarrasses Rita by telling Ross that Rita is in love with another Ross. Ross finds this hilarious.
Ross asks Rita out on a date and she begs Jitty for money for a new dress. Rita has told Ross that she's 16 and accepts a Rum and Coke at the restaurant. Afterwards he drives her to the infamous sea wall parking area. Rita is not comfortable, so she asks him to take her home. She lets him kiss her, he reaches in and finds the sponges, laughs and continues with his hands up her dress. Rita punches him hard in the crotch (yes!!!) and he calls her names. She manages to get out of the car and runs away.
Jitty is frustrated with the way his country is descending into political turmoil. A brain drain was occurring and Chandra had been nagging him to move to Canada. Chandra tells him it would be an easier feat to accomplish if they left Rita behind, and Rita overhears.
Aunt Penny approaches Rita in the street and introduces herself as her mother's sister, she takes her to a cafe to talk. Rita agrees because she has questions to ask. It seems that Jitty has been intercepting letters to Rita from her maternal grandmother. Rita expresses her frustration at being kept in the dark. Aunty Penny is shocked that Rita can't remember being torn from her grandmother's arms by her father. Rita breaks down in tears and Aunt Penny invites her back to the Pomeroon the following day. Rita tells Polly that it will be tough to survive in the primitive conditions out there for two weeks but she has a need to fill the gaps.
Chandra is more pleased than Jitty about Rita’s trip. She wants to send Rita with a re-gifted broken electric mixer for her family. Jitty hands her an envelope for her granny, he says it's private, but she opens it anyway. The letter advises her grandmother that Rita is too young to hear the truth about her mother, but that he will tell her when the time in right.
Aunty Penny takes Rita on the long trip out to the country, by boat and road. At granny's house, Rita is surprised that the house is so big, and she is welcomed by two friendly dogs. Her granny hugs her and she feels instantly a sense of home and comfort and security.
Rita meets her grandfather, who is dark like herself, he kisses and hugs her tightly. Rita is overwhelmed by the feelings of being loved. She brings back memories of Cassie, their daughter.
Aunty Penny shows Rita around the farm, she is surprised that the produce makes them enough money to live on. She meets her cousin Kathy, who is also very welcoming.
Granny is delighted with the Mixmaster, insisting that you must show gratitude for gifts, refusing to believe that Chandra had meant it as an insult. She berates Rita for being rude to Penny when she visited and for not thanking her aunts for the presents, but says it's her father's fault.
Rita asks Granny how her mother died. She refuses to explain, but admits to a bad thing having happened. She sends off strong vibes that she doesn't like Jitty, but says that it is up to him to confess the bad thing he did. Granny shows her a photo of her mother holding her as a baby, and Rita realise that the "died in childbirth" theory was a lie.
Rita writes in her diary about the contentment she feels spending time with her cousins. She meets Kathy's older cousin, Dutch, and finds him beautiful. Granny relates how Rita, aged 5, used to teach Kathy all about animals, and looked after her when she was only 3. Rita is impressed with Dutch's knowledge of birds and animals. When she asks about his name, he explains that anyone there who has African blood, descends from slaves.
Looking forward to seeing your comments! Next week I'll hand over to u/Meia_Ang for the next section.
submitted by nicehotcupoftea to bookclub [link] [comments]
23 - 1986: A Busty Lass
The Foot family move into Kaieteur Close, and Rita falls immediately in love with Archie. Rita's classmates engage in some teasing of the newcomer, and Rita participates by writing cheeky rhymes, one of which ends up in the teacher's hands. After being made to read aloud the smutty poem, the class ends in uncontrolled laughter and a detention for Rita. Rita goes to a party and dances with Archie; she's in heaven.
24 - 1986: Green Sponges
Luisa has grown out of her cute toddler stage and developed into an annoying younger sister. Rita and Chandra are fighting a subtle battle over Luisa's allegiance. Rita's dilemma is that she wants to be Luisa's favourite, but is increasingly having to discipline her. One day they are playing at the Foots' house and Luisa is really naughty. When Rita tries to take her home, Luisa retaliates by revealing the green sponges Rita has stuffed in her bra. Luisa is screaming, and Chandra comforts her "darling girl". Luisa is highly manipulative and has both Rita and Chandra hooked around her little finger.
25 - 1986 - An older man
Rita recovers from her loss quickly when the hot American "older man" called Ross arrives to stay with his parents who have moved in next door. Rita and her friends make prank phone calls to him. One day Ross accidentally drives over Luisa's bicycle and comes to apologise. They go in his car to buy a replacement and Luisa embarrasses Rita by telling Ross that Rita is in love with another Ross. Ross finds this hilarious.
26 - Bamboo Gardens
Ross asks Rita out on a date and she begs Jitty for money for a new dress. Rita has told Ross that she's 16 and accepts a Rum and Coke at the restaurant. Afterwards he drives her to the infamous sea wall parking area. Rita is not comfortable, so she asks him to take her home. She lets him kiss her, he reaches in and finds the sponges, laughs and continues with his hands up her dress. Rita punches him hard in the crotch (yes!!!) and he calls her names. She manages to get out of the car and runs away.
27 - Home Life
Jitty is frustrated with the way his country is descending into political turmoil. A brain drain was occurring and Chandra had been nagging him to move to Canada. Chandra tells him it would be an easier feat to accomplish if they left Rita behind, and Rita overhears.
28 - Aunt Penny
Aunt Penny approaches Rita in the street and introduces herself as her mother's sister, she takes her to a cafe to talk. Rita agrees because she has questions to ask. It seems that Jitty has been intercepting letters to Rita from her maternal grandmother. Rita expresses her frustration at being kept in the dark. Aunty Penny is shocked that Rita can't remember being torn from her grandmother's arms by her father. Rita breaks down in tears and Aunt Penny invites her back to the Pomeroon the following day. Rita tells Polly that it will be tough to survive in the primitive conditions out there for two weeks but she has a need to fill the gaps.
29 - Two Long Empty Hands
Chandra is more pleased than Jitty about Rita’s trip. She wants to send Rita with a re-gifted broken electric mixer for her family. Jitty hands her an envelope for her granny, he says it's private, but she opens it anyway. The letter advises her grandmother that Rita is too young to hear the truth about her mother, but that he will tell her when the time in right.
30 - The Back of Beyond
Aunty Penny takes Rita on the long trip out to the country, by boat and road. At granny's house, Rita is surprised that the house is so big, and she is welcomed by two friendly dogs. Her granny hugs her and she feels instantly a sense of home and comfort and security.
31 - It's the Thought that Counts
Rita meets her grandfather, who is dark like herself, he kisses and hugs her tightly. Rita is overwhelmed by the feelings of being loved. She brings back memories of Cassie, their daughter.
32 - Kathy
Aunty Penny shows Rita around the farm, she is surprised that the produce makes them enough money to live on. She meets her cousin Kathy, who is also very welcoming.
Granny is delighted with the Mixmaster, insisting that you must show gratitude for gifts, refusing to believe that Chandra had meant it as an insult. She berates Rita for being rude to Penny when she visited and for not thanking her aunts for the presents, but says it's her father's fault.
Rita asks Granny how her mother died. She refuses to explain, but admits to a bad thing having happened. She sends off strong vibes that she doesn't like Jitty, but says that it is up to him to confess the bad thing he did. Granny shows her a photo of her mother holding her as a baby, and Rita realise that the "died in childbirth" theory was a lie.
33 - Dutch
Rita writes in her diary about the contentment she feels spending time with her cousins. She meets Kathy's older cousin, Dutch, and finds him beautiful. Granny relates how Rita, aged 5, used to teach Kathy all about animals, and looked after her when she was only 3. Rita is impressed with Dutch's knowledge of birds and animals. When she asks about his name, he explains that anyone there who has African blood, descends from slaves.
Looking forward to seeing your comments! Next week I'll hand over to u/Meia_Ang for the next section.
2024.03.24 04:20 Ralts_Bloodthorne Nova Wars - Chapter 25+10.5
[First Contact] [Dark Ages] [First] [Prev] [Next] [wiki]
"They thought the Lemur With a Rock was a myth, a scary story for children, exaggerated in the retelling. They soon learned that the stories had been watered down." Os'hitt'amoo, Lanktallan Great Historian.
"STOP DOING THAT, LEMURS!" - Battlecry of the Atrekna, Second Precursor War
"She exhaled smoke with a smile. She said: 'come and see' and I saw. I saw a pale horse and his name that sat upon him was Trucker, and Hell followed with him." - Jawne'e Crash, Lanaktallan Bard and Prophet, Second Inter-Arm War
Angela Angus Kusumoto sat in the comfortable chair, leaned back and reading a novel on her datapad. It was standard stuff, lots of older cliches and tropes, but the author wove them together in a murder-heist mystery that was comfortable and relaxing to read.
Around her were work stations and consoles, all of them on standby, their monitors in power-saver mode, the computers in sleep mode. The windows were tinted slightly to keep the brightness from The Object from overwhelming one's eyes.
Or causing them to sprout legs and crawl off one's face.
She sat, feet up, drinking a Liquid Hate old french fries from under the car seat and pickled axle grease, feeling boredom but at least having a comfortable book.
A beeping noise caught her attention.
She looked over and saw one of the monitors was still coming to life.
Sighing, she got up. She recognized the beep. Somewhere outside a node had managed to synch up.
It happened at least once a shift.
It never lasted.
She still had another eighteen days on her shift. Then she'd drop down to Iota Layer and spend time with her family for five years before coming up to spend a month on duty while her family moved to Gamma Layer so that the time distortion was such that she was only gone three months.
This was her tenth shift.
Not that she was worried. She was still young, not even into her second century. She could expect to live another four to six hundred years unless she got caught by good ol' Mr. Misadventure.
She sighed as she bent down and looked at the screen, fully expecting it to be a rogue node out in Mantid, Treana'ad, or Rigellian space.
Last shift she'd had a Rigellian node pop up, synch up, and stay synched for almost three hours before contact was lost.
She frowned.
NODE SYNCH: OK
NODE CHECKSUM: OK
It was the next few lines that would matter. Angela had never seen any pass the next set of checksums.
NODE EXCHANGE TEST: OK
NODE DATA LOCK: 100%
She blinked, staring at it.
She tapped her datalink and put in a call to a supervisor as she sat in the chair and watched.
It took nearly two hours for her supervisor to answer and she didn't sound happy about it.
"What's wrong?" her supervisor sounded like she expected Angela to complain about how bored she was.
"You out of recovery?" Angela asked.
There was another beep.
NODE ACQUIRED
NODE SYNCH: IN PROGRESS
"Not yet," her supervisor said.
"You might want to hurry," Angela said.
NODE ACQUIRED
NODE SYNCH: IN PROGRESS
"Why?" her supervisor asked, then coughed, a wet sounding hacking. "Stupid cryo-slime."
"I've got node synchs," Angela said.
"Just run a clear and reboot, that'll clear it up. They can't hear us and won't talk to us," her supervisor said. "Seriously, Angela? You've dealt with it before."
There was another beep.
MASTER NODE ACQUIRED
NODE SYNCH: IN PROGRESS (PRIORITY)
"I've got two locked, three in progress, and a master node synch in progress," Angela said.
There was dead silence.
"Give me the code for the master node," her supervisor's voice was suddenly tight and intense.
She looked it up.
"A00001A0A1," Angela relayed.
"Angela, listen to me very carefully," her supervisor said. She sounded odd.
"OK," Angela set her data pad down.
"Go over to the Shift Senior Supervisor station," her supervisor said.
Angela moved to the center of the back wall, where there were a half dozen smart-consoles all in a semi-circle around a chair.
"All right," she said.
"Flip up the cover on the left hand forward panel on the arm-rest," her supervisor said. There was a grunting noise. "How is it my butt gets bigger in cryo."
"Cryo-fluid pooling," Angela answered out of habit. She tapped the cover and it flipped open. There was a fingerprint scanner and a keypad. "All right, now what."
"Put in this number," her supervisor said. "Dammit, my underwear rolled up. Ow ow ow. Stupid freezer burnt pubic hair."
She was partway through the number when a dozen of the workstation consoles came on and she could hear the quantum computers kick in. She glanced at them.
They all read NODE SYNCH IN PROGRESS in red letters.
"I've got workstations coming online," Angela said.
"I'll bet. Finish punching in the number, you only have sixty seconds," her supervisor said.
She dutifully punched it in. The consoles all went live.
"It wants your fingerprint and biometric scan," Angela said.
More terminals came online. The smart windows around the control room dimmed to a dark smokey black. Node ID numbers started moving down the windows with SYNCHING or PACKET SWAP TEST appearing next to the ID numbers. There were two master nodes that had LOCKED next to their ID numbers as well as a half-dozen standard nodes.
There were even "sub-node" labels popping up.
"I've got nodes everywhere. The windows just went to interactive smartglass mode," Angela said. She looked down. "Still wants your biometrics."
"Do the following keypresses. I'll give them to you twice, then have you punch them in. Once you start you have fifteen seconds," her supervisor said. "Aw, dammit, my bra strap is twisted. Why can't I do anything?" there was more wet coughing. "Stupid cryo-snot."
Once she had heard it twice, she then followed along with her supervisor.
All the panels went live. The covers slid back from the arm-rest controls.
"OK, done," Angela said. She glanced at the windows. There were four master nodes saying they were locked and six others undergoing packet swap check. "Uh, you need to hurry."
"I'm two thousand miles away, hopping on one foot for the star-tram," her supervisor said. "OK, look around you, do you see the keypad with the red letters set in brushed steel?"
Angela sat down and the view of the keys in the armrest changed. "OK, I see it."
"Type in this number," her supervisor said. "It's 'Charlie-Papa-Echo-One-Seven-Zero-Four-Tango-Kilo-Sierra', don't screw it up."
"Got it," she said. "What did that do?"
"That'll wake up every shift member and do a blanket recall for everyone," her supervisor said. There was a background noise. "I know my picture doesn't match, I just came out of cryo," more background. "Just do a DNA scan."
Angela looked around.
A Master Node, labeled N6MAA108816, had just synched up. Lines were being drawn from it to other nodes that were synching up. The first Master Node that had come online was now showing its ID number -86475346- and it was locked into dozens of secondary nodes.
"Miss Bisa?" Angela said, watching the smartglass windows.
"I'm getting on the startram now," her supervisor said. "Wish the mat-trans wasn't still locked out."
"Miss Bisa..." Angela said.
"Yes?" her supervisor sounded calmer and Angela heard the distinctive three tones of a startram about to get underway.
Master Node 85376887 had come online.
"It's going crazy up here. What's happening?" Angela asked.
There was silence for a moment.
"Atlantis is synching up with Sol."
-----
Unverak stared at the holotank, sighing with frustration.
Following the Path of the Traveler had led him right here. The Strevik'al were right on his heels the whole time and now they were on the other side of the destination.
Which had turned out to be nothing more than a singularity and buoy that had welcomed him to the site of where TerraSol had been.
Sure, there had been a data download with a wealth of technology. Sure, the limited VI was willing to converse, but, frustratingly enough, it refused to part with more technological information.
That, and it turned out the facility with the VI was beyond the event horizon of the massive gravity source.
Despite demands from the government and military agents aboard the vessel, Unverak had been more than willing to do data exchanges with his Strevik'al counterparts.
After all, hadn't they survived the madness of the Clownface Nebula together?
Now he just stared at the holotank.
"Why did you want us here? At this particular time? In this particular location?" he asked nobody in particular, still staring at the graphical representation of the singularity.
"Sir?" one of the ratings, a Technical Specialist-Grade Six, asked, turning slightly.
"Talking to myself," Unverak admitted. He sighed. "Put the singularity on the main viewscreen."
It took a second for the data to be rendered in a visible method.
The singularity just hung there.
Just as it had for almost forty-thousand years.
He opened his mouth to say something, he never could remember what.
Everything went white.
LET THE UNIVERSE SHAKE IN THE WRATH OF TERRASOL
The world heaved.
He felt like he was being stretched. Like he was being crushed. Like each cell of his body was being pulled in a million different directions all at once from everywhere.
He tasted bitter copper and hot iron.
LET THIS UNIVERSE SHAKE IN THE WRATH OF TERRASOL roared in his ears.
He found himself laying on the carpet. Computers were wailing, he could hear runaway cracking of computers slowly self-destructing.
One of the naval personnel at least was still up and working.
"Grav surge! We've moved approximate one point six two light years!" they called out. "Readings coming back. They're scrambled. Attempting to compensate."
Unverak looked at the screen.
It looked like a yellow stellar mass surrounded by ten rings made up of overlapping planetary bodies. All but the inner two planets had rings made up by overlapping orbital bodies. The overlaps cleared.
Two ice class gas giants. Two supermassive gas giants. Six planetary bodies, including two dwarf planets, with one deep in the Oort Cloud. Plenty of orbital bodies around every planet and gas giant.
Each of the gas giants were surrounded by massive lattices.
He just stared.
Now he knew what had driven him to be in this spot. Why he had come here at this time, in this place.
I have witnessed your return.
-----
HAT WEARING AUNTIE
OW! OW OW OW!
MY BIG GIANT HEAD!
---NOTHING FOLLOWS---
TREANA'AD HIVE WORLDS
DID ANYONE ELSE JUST HEAR THAT?
---NOTHING FOLLOWS---
PUBVIAN DOMINION
WHat? I Can'T HEar you! I'm DEAF!
---NOTHING FOLLOWS---
RIGEL
fdasl;igiuy9xz0c8vyuaosidghxk l7a9sd8f7askjgfhna
---NOTHING FOLLOWS---
LEEBAW CONTEMPLATION POOL
THAT WAS COOL! DO IT AGAIN!
---NOTHING FOLLOWS---
-----
TerraSol had always kept secrets.
It wasn't personal.
It was just her nature.
She loved her little creatures, just as they loved her. Sure, there had been arguments, there had been the equivalent of 'I hate you, Mom', and there had been the occasional "I didn't mean to!" from her little creatures as the Law of Unintended Consequences came back around to bite them in their little butts.
But she still loved them.
Held them close to her bosom.
And kept their secrets.
Which was why nobody aside from those who were carefully read in for the secret knew what it meant when power plants began coming online. Computers started spinning up. Lights started coming on.
Her favorite little creatures had once had to deal with billions of 'useless' members of their species.
So they had buried them.
But, being the clever little creatures they were...
...that which was buried was not dead.
Merely dreaming.
And not even The Glassing had disturbed the Dreamers.
But now it was time for that secret to be let loose.
She was loathe to.
But she knew her Mother, the Malevolent Universe, said it was time.
So she smiled.
And watched the Dreamers awake.
-----
"What do we have?" Grand Admiral Rajiv “Warhammer” Rosaline Manstud Beefchester said, staring at the holotank.
"We've successfully exited The Bag. No damage reported. No debris fields," a technician behind him stated.
He didn't turn around, staring at the screen.
"Deep space superluminal scanner arrays are providing data. Analysis... now," another tech said.
"We have five bogies. Small ships, destroy hull class," someone else said. "Light armament."
"Elapsed time estimation based on radioactive decay and star position is," there was a pause. "Thirty-eight thousand six hundred ninety one, with a two point two percent margin for error."
"That's too large of a margin with that much time. Refine it down," Grand Admiral Beefchester ordered.
"Superluminal arrays down. Hypercom wave is inoperative. Needlecast is down. Ansibles are down. No response across standard superluminal communication arrays," someone else said.
"Sir, Atlantis and Ghenna nodes are synching up. We have SUDS lock," another voice said.
Grand Admiral turned and looked at the Confederate Armed Service Five Star General standing next to him. The general had a weak chin and a slight pot belly, watery brown eyes, and muddy brown hair.
"What do you think?" General Beefchester asked.
"Either they're so far beyond us that they are basically doing magic," the General said. "Or they had the 'eternal empire' tech development collapse we've seen with everyone else."
Beefchester nodded. "We'll find out soon," he said. He jabbed his cigar at the icons of the ships that had been shoved back by Sol's re-emergence. "Those are probably 'modern' ships. We'll get scans soon enough."
The other General nodded. "I'd say the Lanky War is over."
"Or everyone deserves what we'll do," Beefchester said. He puffed on his cigar. "You know as well as I do that if we got let loose after only fifty-four years local, something went terribly wrong out here."
The General grunted.
"Don't worry, General. I'm sure you'll have plenty to do soon," Beefchester said.
General Imak Takilikakik just nodded, staring at the screen.
[First Contact] [Dark Ages] [First] [Prev] [Next] [wiki]
submitted by Ralts_Bloodthorne to HFY [link] [comments]
"They thought the Lemur With a Rock was a myth, a scary story for children, exaggerated in the retelling. They soon learned that the stories had been watered down." Os'hitt'amoo, Lanktallan Great Historian.
"STOP DOING THAT, LEMURS!" - Battlecry of the Atrekna, Second Precursor War
"She exhaled smoke with a smile. She said: 'come and see' and I saw. I saw a pale horse and his name that sat upon him was Trucker, and Hell followed with him." - Jawne'e Crash, Lanaktallan Bard and Prophet, Second Inter-Arm War
Angela Angus Kusumoto sat in the comfortable chair, leaned back and reading a novel on her datapad. It was standard stuff, lots of older cliches and tropes, but the author wove them together in a murder-heist mystery that was comfortable and relaxing to read.
Around her were work stations and consoles, all of them on standby, their monitors in power-saver mode, the computers in sleep mode. The windows were tinted slightly to keep the brightness from The Object from overwhelming one's eyes.
Or causing them to sprout legs and crawl off one's face.
She sat, feet up, drinking a Liquid Hate old french fries from under the car seat and pickled axle grease, feeling boredom but at least having a comfortable book.
A beeping noise caught her attention.
She looked over and saw one of the monitors was still coming to life.
Sighing, she got up. She recognized the beep. Somewhere outside a node had managed to synch up.
It happened at least once a shift.
It never lasted.
She still had another eighteen days on her shift. Then she'd drop down to Iota Layer and spend time with her family for five years before coming up to spend a month on duty while her family moved to Gamma Layer so that the time distortion was such that she was only gone three months.
This was her tenth shift.
Not that she was worried. She was still young, not even into her second century. She could expect to live another four to six hundred years unless she got caught by good ol' Mr. Misadventure.
She sighed as she bent down and looked at the screen, fully expecting it to be a rogue node out in Mantid, Treana'ad, or Rigellian space.
Last shift she'd had a Rigellian node pop up, synch up, and stay synched for almost three hours before contact was lost.
She frowned.
NODE SYNCH: OK
NODE CHECKSUM: OK
It was the next few lines that would matter. Angela had never seen any pass the next set of checksums.
NODE EXCHANGE TEST: OK
NODE DATA LOCK: 100%
She blinked, staring at it.
She tapped her datalink and put in a call to a supervisor as she sat in the chair and watched.
It took nearly two hours for her supervisor to answer and she didn't sound happy about it.
"What's wrong?" her supervisor sounded like she expected Angela to complain about how bored she was.
"You out of recovery?" Angela asked.
There was another beep.
NODE ACQUIRED
NODE SYNCH: IN PROGRESS
"Not yet," her supervisor said.
"You might want to hurry," Angela said.
NODE ACQUIRED
NODE SYNCH: IN PROGRESS
"Why?" her supervisor asked, then coughed, a wet sounding hacking. "Stupid cryo-slime."
"I've got node synchs," Angela said.
"Just run a clear and reboot, that'll clear it up. They can't hear us and won't talk to us," her supervisor said. "Seriously, Angela? You've dealt with it before."
There was another beep.
MASTER NODE ACQUIRED
NODE SYNCH: IN PROGRESS (PRIORITY)
"I've got two locked, three in progress, and a master node synch in progress," Angela said.
There was dead silence.
"Give me the code for the master node," her supervisor's voice was suddenly tight and intense.
She looked it up.
"A00001A0A1," Angela relayed.
"Angela, listen to me very carefully," her supervisor said. She sounded odd.
"OK," Angela set her data pad down.
"Go over to the Shift Senior Supervisor station," her supervisor said.
Angela moved to the center of the back wall, where there were a half dozen smart-consoles all in a semi-circle around a chair.
"All right," she said.
"Flip up the cover on the left hand forward panel on the arm-rest," her supervisor said. There was a grunting noise. "How is it my butt gets bigger in cryo."
"Cryo-fluid pooling," Angela answered out of habit. She tapped the cover and it flipped open. There was a fingerprint scanner and a keypad. "All right, now what."
"Put in this number," her supervisor said. "Dammit, my underwear rolled up. Ow ow ow. Stupid freezer burnt pubic hair."
She was partway through the number when a dozen of the workstation consoles came on and she could hear the quantum computers kick in. She glanced at them.
They all read NODE SYNCH IN PROGRESS in red letters.
"I've got workstations coming online," Angela said.
"I'll bet. Finish punching in the number, you only have sixty seconds," her supervisor said.
She dutifully punched it in. The consoles all went live.
"It wants your fingerprint and biometric scan," Angela said.
More terminals came online. The smart windows around the control room dimmed to a dark smokey black. Node ID numbers started moving down the windows with SYNCHING or PACKET SWAP TEST appearing next to the ID numbers. There were two master nodes that had LOCKED next to their ID numbers as well as a half-dozen standard nodes.
There were even "sub-node" labels popping up.
"I've got nodes everywhere. The windows just went to interactive smartglass mode," Angela said. She looked down. "Still wants your biometrics."
"Do the following keypresses. I'll give them to you twice, then have you punch them in. Once you start you have fifteen seconds," her supervisor said. "Aw, dammit, my bra strap is twisted. Why can't I do anything?" there was more wet coughing. "Stupid cryo-snot."
Once she had heard it twice, she then followed along with her supervisor.
All the panels went live. The covers slid back from the arm-rest controls.
"OK, done," Angela said. She glanced at the windows. There were four master nodes saying they were locked and six others undergoing packet swap check. "Uh, you need to hurry."
"I'm two thousand miles away, hopping on one foot for the star-tram," her supervisor said. "OK, look around you, do you see the keypad with the red letters set in brushed steel?"
Angela sat down and the view of the keys in the armrest changed. "OK, I see it."
"Type in this number," her supervisor said. "It's 'Charlie-Papa-Echo-One-Seven-Zero-Four-Tango-Kilo-Sierra', don't screw it up."
"Got it," she said. "What did that do?"
"That'll wake up every shift member and do a blanket recall for everyone," her supervisor said. There was a background noise. "I know my picture doesn't match, I just came out of cryo," more background. "Just do a DNA scan."
Angela looked around.
A Master Node, labeled N6MAA108816, had just synched up. Lines were being drawn from it to other nodes that were synching up. The first Master Node that had come online was now showing its ID number -86475346- and it was locked into dozens of secondary nodes.
"Miss Bisa?" Angela said, watching the smartglass windows.
"I'm getting on the startram now," her supervisor said. "Wish the mat-trans wasn't still locked out."
"Miss Bisa..." Angela said.
"Yes?" her supervisor sounded calmer and Angela heard the distinctive three tones of a startram about to get underway.
Master Node 85376887 had come online.
"It's going crazy up here. What's happening?" Angela asked.
There was silence for a moment.
"Atlantis is synching up with Sol."
-----
Unverak stared at the holotank, sighing with frustration.
Following the Path of the Traveler had led him right here. The Strevik'al were right on his heels the whole time and now they were on the other side of the destination.
Which had turned out to be nothing more than a singularity and buoy that had welcomed him to the site of where TerraSol had been.
Sure, there had been a data download with a wealth of technology. Sure, the limited VI was willing to converse, but, frustratingly enough, it refused to part with more technological information.
That, and it turned out the facility with the VI was beyond the event horizon of the massive gravity source.
Despite demands from the government and military agents aboard the vessel, Unverak had been more than willing to do data exchanges with his Strevik'al counterparts.
After all, hadn't they survived the madness of the Clownface Nebula together?
Now he just stared at the holotank.
"Why did you want us here? At this particular time? In this particular location?" he asked nobody in particular, still staring at the graphical representation of the singularity.
"Sir?" one of the ratings, a Technical Specialist-Grade Six, asked, turning slightly.
"Talking to myself," Unverak admitted. He sighed. "Put the singularity on the main viewscreen."
It took a second for the data to be rendered in a visible method.
The singularity just hung there.
Just as it had for almost forty-thousand years.
He opened his mouth to say something, he never could remember what.
Everything went white.
LET THE UNIVERSE SHAKE IN THE WRATH OF TERRASOL
The world heaved.
He felt like he was being stretched. Like he was being crushed. Like each cell of his body was being pulled in a million different directions all at once from everywhere.
He tasted bitter copper and hot iron.
LET THIS UNIVERSE SHAKE IN THE WRATH OF TERRASOL roared in his ears.
He found himself laying on the carpet. Computers were wailing, he could hear runaway cracking of computers slowly self-destructing.
One of the naval personnel at least was still up and working.
"Grav surge! We've moved approximate one point six two light years!" they called out. "Readings coming back. They're scrambled. Attempting to compensate."
Unverak looked at the screen.
It looked like a yellow stellar mass surrounded by ten rings made up of overlapping planetary bodies. All but the inner two planets had rings made up by overlapping orbital bodies. The overlaps cleared.
Two ice class gas giants. Two supermassive gas giants. Six planetary bodies, including two dwarf planets, with one deep in the Oort Cloud. Plenty of orbital bodies around every planet and gas giant.
Each of the gas giants were surrounded by massive lattices.
He just stared.
Now he knew what had driven him to be in this spot. Why he had come here at this time, in this place.
I have witnessed your return.
-----
HAT WEARING AUNTIE
OW! OW OW OW!
MY BIG GIANT HEAD!
---NOTHING FOLLOWS---
TREANA'AD HIVE WORLDS
DID ANYONE ELSE JUST HEAR THAT?
---NOTHING FOLLOWS---
PUBVIAN DOMINION
WHat? I Can'T HEar you! I'm DEAF!
---NOTHING FOLLOWS---
RIGEL
fdasl;igiuy9xz0c8vyuaosidghxk l7a9sd8f7askjgfhna
---NOTHING FOLLOWS---
LEEBAW CONTEMPLATION POOL
THAT WAS COOL! DO IT AGAIN!
---NOTHING FOLLOWS---
-----
TerraSol had always kept secrets.
It wasn't personal.
It was just her nature.
She loved her little creatures, just as they loved her. Sure, there had been arguments, there had been the equivalent of 'I hate you, Mom', and there had been the occasional "I didn't mean to!" from her little creatures as the Law of Unintended Consequences came back around to bite them in their little butts.
But she still loved them.
Held them close to her bosom.
And kept their secrets.
Which was why nobody aside from those who were carefully read in for the secret knew what it meant when power plants began coming online. Computers started spinning up. Lights started coming on.
Her favorite little creatures had once had to deal with billions of 'useless' members of their species.
So they had buried them.
But, being the clever little creatures they were...
...that which was buried was not dead.
Merely dreaming.
And not even The Glassing had disturbed the Dreamers.
But now it was time for that secret to be let loose.
She was loathe to.
But she knew her Mother, the Malevolent Universe, said it was time.
So she smiled.
And watched the Dreamers awake.
-----
"What do we have?" Grand Admiral Rajiv “Warhammer” Rosaline Manstud Beefchester said, staring at the holotank.
"We've successfully exited The Bag. No damage reported. No debris fields," a technician behind him stated.
He didn't turn around, staring at the screen.
"Deep space superluminal scanner arrays are providing data. Analysis... now," another tech said.
"We have five bogies. Small ships, destroy hull class," someone else said. "Light armament."
"Elapsed time estimation based on radioactive decay and star position is," there was a pause. "Thirty-eight thousand six hundred ninety one, with a two point two percent margin for error."
"That's too large of a margin with that much time. Refine it down," Grand Admiral Beefchester ordered.
"Superluminal arrays down. Hypercom wave is inoperative. Needlecast is down. Ansibles are down. No response across standard superluminal communication arrays," someone else said.
"Sir, Atlantis and Ghenna nodes are synching up. We have SUDS lock," another voice said.
Grand Admiral turned and looked at the Confederate Armed Service Five Star General standing next to him. The general had a weak chin and a slight pot belly, watery brown eyes, and muddy brown hair.
"What do you think?" General Beefchester asked.
"Either they're so far beyond us that they are basically doing magic," the General said. "Or they had the 'eternal empire' tech development collapse we've seen with everyone else."
Beefchester nodded. "We'll find out soon," he said. He jabbed his cigar at the icons of the ships that had been shoved back by Sol's re-emergence. "Those are probably 'modern' ships. We'll get scans soon enough."
The other General nodded. "I'd say the Lanky War is over."
"Or everyone deserves what we'll do," Beefchester said. He puffed on his cigar. "You know as well as I do that if we got let loose after only fifty-four years local, something went terribly wrong out here."
The General grunted.
"Don't worry, General. I'm sure you'll have plenty to do soon," Beefchester said.
General Imak Takilikakik just nodded, staring at the screen.
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2024.03.24 03:16 DogsAndPickles Cabbage STORM for LISA - fuck it. I tried. If no one wants to be a cabbage with me then that is too bad!
I got an idea for Rio’s anniversary. Will you please help in the cabbage patch?!
PLEASE HEAR ME OUT… this BOOB thing is … BIG, you all have TAUGHT ME STUFF, and this is about BIOLOGY AND HORTICULTURE AND CABBAGES!
If boobs feed babies and the milk production is traumatic for the boobs, and a similar demand/capacity malfunction could be comparably traumatic for the testicles if they do NOT immediately get a chance to produce babies, then could we say in general that pain must be expressed, is biologically necessary and inevitable, it’s the reason we were built with homeostatic feedback mechanisms, so .. shouldn’t the SCROTUM be the biological cabbage equivalent? And then, couldn’t cabbages be equated to a hug for a “hard matter?” or the blanket for a biological pain point? …
Because I think Brussels sprounds could make great ball caps, but don’t get me started on the puns today, because if the BOOB math works then the scrotal math works which means tea bags could then be recategorized to the kitchen, but please don’t let me get going down the sink when I should be getting dirty, because cabbage all about worms and tunnels and spirals and POOP?
The brassicas are NATURE’S EVERY BLANKET! THEY CAN BE THE SCROTUM just as they can BE THE BRA!
Anyone can be a cabbage then, EVERYONE HAS INFINITE WORTH IN CABBAGE MATH; it doesn’t matter the color or the gender or the species, and the cabbage doesn’t need to injure itself ANY MORE, it is injured by biology and it knows its wounds by heart. Its juice is as much its blood as it is its medicine.
But when they’re wilted, a cabbage can get stinky, and that’s why we need to send an ENTIRE PATCH of cabbages to Storm and Rosie and Lisa as they enter Storm’s last round on earth.
Lisa said today, “Both of my girls are gonna feel loved and cared for if it takes everything I have.”
In cabbage math, Lisa’s HUSBAND Is the one who needs us to love Lisa, and as the AUNTIE, Rosie needs me to send the POOP troops. They’re in the hardest part of love.
Lisa mentions that her vet is proud of her for how well she’s caring for both Storm and our former Ida Rose … also of the worm tunnels… also of the dirt.. also of the crazy town….
So this means the cabbages could ALL JOIN ME AND HER VET IN being PROUD of Lisa. I’ll start by sharing what I said. You literally can’t mess up when love Lisa. She just loves when you love her.
She’s literally smelling the pain of love as they await surgery. Love her hard, please.
submitted by DogsAndPickles to StoriesForMyTherapist [link] [comments]
PLEASE HEAR ME OUT… this BOOB thing is … BIG, you all have TAUGHT ME STUFF, and this is about BIOLOGY AND HORTICULTURE AND CABBAGES!
If boobs feed babies and the milk production is traumatic for the boobs, and a similar demand/capacity malfunction could be comparably traumatic for the testicles if they do NOT immediately get a chance to produce babies, then could we say in general that pain must be expressed, is biologically necessary and inevitable, it’s the reason we were built with homeostatic feedback mechanisms, so .. shouldn’t the SCROTUM be the biological cabbage equivalent? And then, couldn’t cabbages be equated to a hug for a “hard matter?” or the blanket for a biological pain point? …
Because I think Brussels sprounds could make great ball caps, but don’t get me started on the puns today, because if the BOOB math works then the scrotal math works which means tea bags could then be recategorized to the kitchen, but please don’t let me get going down the sink when I should be getting dirty, because cabbage all about worms and tunnels and spirals and POOP?
The brassicas are NATURE’S EVERY BLANKET! THEY CAN BE THE SCROTUM just as they can BE THE BRA!
Anyone can be a cabbage then, EVERYONE HAS INFINITE WORTH IN CABBAGE MATH; it doesn’t matter the color or the gender or the species, and the cabbage doesn’t need to injure itself ANY MORE, it is injured by biology and it knows its wounds by heart. Its juice is as much its blood as it is its medicine.
But when they’re wilted, a cabbage can get stinky, and that’s why we need to send an ENTIRE PATCH of cabbages to Storm and Rosie and Lisa as they enter Storm’s last round on earth.
Lisa said today, “Both of my girls are gonna feel loved and cared for if it takes everything I have.”
In cabbage math, Lisa’s HUSBAND Is the one who needs us to love Lisa, and as the AUNTIE, Rosie needs me to send the POOP troops. They’re in the hardest part of love.
Lisa mentions that her vet is proud of her for how well she’s caring for both Storm and our former Ida Rose … also of the worm tunnels… also of the dirt.. also of the crazy town….
So this means the cabbages could ALL JOIN ME AND HER VET IN being PROUD of Lisa. I’ll start by sharing what I said. You literally can’t mess up when love Lisa. She just loves when you love her.
She’s literally smelling the pain of love as they await surgery. Love her hard, please.
love #help #dogs #cabbages
2024.03.17 11:31 weliveinasamaj The average Delhi experience
 | submitted by weliveinasamaj to DesiMeta [link] [comments] |
2024.02.16 07:35 Few-Slice4384 Indian mothers and their aversion to large breasts.
Why are Indian parents so ashamed of the human body idk. I have had multiple instances where my mom has romanticized Caucasian women with toned chests because most dresses flatter them without it being too vulgar. And I must wear looser clothes because my big boobs are "dirty". It's not just my mom but literally every Indian aunty out there. They slut shame natural body anatomy like wtf. Underwire bras exist for support and nothing else. And I was accused of wanting to appear "fuller". I m so mad rn. I feel so uncomfortable even talking about it.
She refused to buy me bras in high school because it would supposedly make me grow up. I brought my first training bra by myself. Till now, she either buys the ones that are too small or too loose. No mom, changing bra sizes is not gonna change my body.
submitted by Few-Slice4384 to Indianconfessions [link] [comments]
She refused to buy me bras in high school because it would supposedly make me grow up. I brought my first training bra by myself. Till now, she either buys the ones that are too small or too loose. No mom, changing bra sizes is not gonna change my body.
2024.02.14 22:30 IntelligentAbies7884 My mum is using her depression as an excuse to be a useless and deadbeat mother that prioritises money over her children.
My mum is using her depression as an excuse to ruin my life and place money over her kids and I’m sick of it
For some background, my parents are divorced and my mum has 2 master degrees in engineering and medicine. However, while she was married to my dad she was a housewife and only started working in the last few years of their marriage. When they broke she continued working but around 2021 she lost her job because of some complications surrounding dbs and incident that occurred when we were younger. And then my grandma passed soon after I think this made her lose the motivation to work because she didn’t look for work again and immediately claimed universal credit.
My mum has always had a hobby of selling things. She used to sell antique pieces and jewellery on eBay. However, as you can imagine, this was only appealing to a very select crowd and so while the money she did make was vast, the business in itself wasn’t very profitable. She stopped selling when she found out that one of her friends had stolen some all of her gold pieces while staying at our house. Back when she sold the jewellery, it all stayed in a reasonable sized shelf in her room.
This boxes thing all started in August 2023. My mum bought some item returns thinking she would resell them. My sisters had gone to university at this point so it would just be me left around the house. My mum left about 14 large boxes across the sofas in the living room. She told me that I would be able to sit there again when I had listed all her items. Since it was my holiday as a student I decided to list them. However, as I said before, these items were returns so many of them were damaged and did not sell or when they did sell they would quickly be returned.
My mum kept saying things like “I’m cursed” and “I’ll never buy this kind of a thing again.” Which at the time was annoying because who forced her to buy it in the first place but also relieving because it meant we’d get our living room back and she’d stop buying useless things that drain our money and don’t inject any money back in. I told my sister about this and she suggested that my mum tried a vendor to find items that were actually working that she could sell.
This was when the problem started. My mum bought 20 boxes and filled the living room from head to toe. When that wasn’t enough she filled the study room up with boxes too which is the only place in my entire house that had a table . Months before this boxes business table started me and my sister BEGGED her to buy a dining table but she just refused calling me and my sisters “leeches”
To be quite honest, I’m sick of my mum. She uses her depression to be a deadbeat and useless excuse for a mother. My brother is probably one his way to obesity because he’ll eat 24 of my Costco cookies in one sitting and she won’t bat an eye. He’s 9 and mostly lives with my dad but when he does come visit she’ll give him a phone to shut him up and stop him bothering her. She’s always insulting my dad calling him “wicked” because my brother never visits her but when he does all she does it shout at him at how he has abided her after she carried him for 9 months. He’s a spoilt little boy as the youngest so obviously he can’t handle being shouted at. He hates being here because our entire house is filled to the brim with boxes. Since he mainly lives with our dad she even took that as a reason to fill his room up with these boxes too.
To contextualise how bad this fixation is, my house is 3 floors and has a bathroom on each floor. I can’t use the bathroom in the 3rd floor because it’s my aunty and uncles and I don’t have anything against them but she moved them in without telling anyone the second my sisters left because all she cares about is money. I can’t use the one in the first floor because the entire corridor there is filled with boxes and if I broke anything there she’s kill me. I leave my house at 7:15 each morning to catch bus and for the past month I’ve missed my bus everyday because I’ve been trying to navigate the boxes. I asked her to buy me a to buy me a textbook because I have big exams this year and she basically refused because “no one uses textbooks anymore.” The textbook was £4.50 Even to an invest in a decent bra for me was a problem.
She removed the trampoline in he back garden and built 2 more sheds so that she could fill them with more boxes. She threw away everything in the old shed so she could fill it with boxes. There isn’t a spare space in my house that isn’t crammed with boxes. She even finally managed to get a job and every penny she earns from it goes to boxes. She hold my bus money which is literally £1.10. I hate living with my mum she’s selfish and narcissistic. She has a serious problem and refuses to listen to reason. If I added all the things she’s done to make absolutely abhor her we’d be here for days.
I know this more of a rant than anything else but I’m just so frustrated and tired. I can’t revise in my home, I can’t bring friends to my house, I don’t even have a table to eat. So please, I’m begging for any advice on how make this situation more bearable and/or help my mum.
submitted by IntelligentAbies7884 to helpmecope [link] [comments]
For some background, my parents are divorced and my mum has 2 master degrees in engineering and medicine. However, while she was married to my dad she was a housewife and only started working in the last few years of their marriage. When they broke she continued working but around 2021 she lost her job because of some complications surrounding dbs and incident that occurred when we were younger. And then my grandma passed soon after I think this made her lose the motivation to work because she didn’t look for work again and immediately claimed universal credit.
My mum has always had a hobby of selling things. She used to sell antique pieces and jewellery on eBay. However, as you can imagine, this was only appealing to a very select crowd and so while the money she did make was vast, the business in itself wasn’t very profitable. She stopped selling when she found out that one of her friends had stolen some all of her gold pieces while staying at our house. Back when she sold the jewellery, it all stayed in a reasonable sized shelf in her room.
This boxes thing all started in August 2023. My mum bought some item returns thinking she would resell them. My sisters had gone to university at this point so it would just be me left around the house. My mum left about 14 large boxes across the sofas in the living room. She told me that I would be able to sit there again when I had listed all her items. Since it was my holiday as a student I decided to list them. However, as I said before, these items were returns so many of them were damaged and did not sell or when they did sell they would quickly be returned.
My mum kept saying things like “I’m cursed” and “I’ll never buy this kind of a thing again.” Which at the time was annoying because who forced her to buy it in the first place but also relieving because it meant we’d get our living room back and she’d stop buying useless things that drain our money and don’t inject any money back in. I told my sister about this and she suggested that my mum tried a vendor to find items that were actually working that she could sell.
This was when the problem started. My mum bought 20 boxes and filled the living room from head to toe. When that wasn’t enough she filled the study room up with boxes too which is the only place in my entire house that had a table . Months before this boxes business table started me and my sister BEGGED her to buy a dining table but she just refused calling me and my sisters “leeches”
To be quite honest, I’m sick of my mum. She uses her depression to be a deadbeat and useless excuse for a mother. My brother is probably one his way to obesity because he’ll eat 24 of my Costco cookies in one sitting and she won’t bat an eye. He’s 9 and mostly lives with my dad but when he does come visit she’ll give him a phone to shut him up and stop him bothering her. She’s always insulting my dad calling him “wicked” because my brother never visits her but when he does all she does it shout at him at how he has abided her after she carried him for 9 months. He’s a spoilt little boy as the youngest so obviously he can’t handle being shouted at. He hates being here because our entire house is filled to the brim with boxes. Since he mainly lives with our dad she even took that as a reason to fill his room up with these boxes too.
To contextualise how bad this fixation is, my house is 3 floors and has a bathroom on each floor. I can’t use the bathroom in the 3rd floor because it’s my aunty and uncles and I don’t have anything against them but she moved them in without telling anyone the second my sisters left because all she cares about is money. I can’t use the one in the first floor because the entire corridor there is filled with boxes and if I broke anything there she’s kill me. I leave my house at 7:15 each morning to catch bus and for the past month I’ve missed my bus everyday because I’ve been trying to navigate the boxes. I asked her to buy me a to buy me a textbook because I have big exams this year and she basically refused because “no one uses textbooks anymore.” The textbook was £4.50 Even to an invest in a decent bra for me was a problem.
She removed the trampoline in he back garden and built 2 more sheds so that she could fill them with more boxes. She threw away everything in the old shed so she could fill it with boxes. There isn’t a spare space in my house that isn’t crammed with boxes. She even finally managed to get a job and every penny she earns from it goes to boxes. She hold my bus money which is literally £1.10. I hate living with my mum she’s selfish and narcissistic. She has a serious problem and refuses to listen to reason. If I added all the things she’s done to make absolutely abhor her we’d be here for days.
I know this more of a rant than anything else but I’m just so frustrated and tired. I can’t revise in my home, I can’t bring friends to my house, I don’t even have a table to eat. So please, I’m begging for any advice on how make this situation more bearable and/or help my mum.
2024.02.14 22:19 IntelligentAbies7884 My mum is using her depression as an excuse to be a useless and deadbeat mother that prioritises money over her children.
My mum is using her depression as an excuse to ruin my life and place money over her kids and I’m sick of it
For some background, my parents are divorced and my mum has 2 master degrees in engineering and medicine. However, while she was married to my dad she was a housewife and only started working in the last few years of their marriage. When they broke she continued working but around 2021 she lost her job because of some complications surrounding dbs and incident that occurred when we were younger. And then my grandma passed soon after I think this made her lose the motivation to work because she didn’t look for work again and immediately claimed universal credit.
My mum has always had a hobby of selling things. She used to sell antique pieces and jewellery on eBay. However, as you can imagine, this was only appealing to a very select crowd and so while the money she did make was vast, the business in itself wasn’t very profitable. She stopped selling when she found out that one of her friends had stolen some all of her gold pieces while staying at our house. Back when she sold the jewellery, it all stayed in a reasonable sized shelf in her room.
This boxes thing all started in August 2023. My mum bought some item returns thinking she would resell them. My sisters had gone to university at this point so it would just be me left around the house. My mum left about 14 large boxes across the sofas in the living room. She told me that I would be able to sit there again when I had listed all her items. Since it was my holiday as a student I decided to list them. However, as I said before, these items were returns so many of them were damaged and did not sell or when they did sell they would quickly be returned.
My mum kept saying things like “I’m cursed” and “I’ll never buy this kind of a thing again.” Which at the time was annoying because who forced her to buy it in the first place but also relieving because it meant we’d get our living room back and she’d stop buying useless things that drain our money and don’t inject any money back in. I told my sister about this and she suggested that my mum tried a vendor to find items that were actually working that she could sell.
This was when the problem started. My mum bought 20 boxes and filled the living room from head to toe. When that wasn’t enough she filled the study room up with boxes too which is the only place in my entire house that had a table . Months before this boxes business table started me and my sister BEGGED her to buy a dining table but she just refused calling me and my sisters “leeches”
To be quite honest, I’m sick of my mum. She uses her depression to be a deadbeat and useless excuse for a mother. My brother is probably one his way to obesity because he’ll eat 24 of my Costco cookies in one sitting and she won’t bat an eye. He’s 9 and mostly lives with my dad but when he does come visit she’ll give him a phone to shut him up and stop him bothering her. She’s always insulting my dad calling him “wicked” because my brother never visits her but when he does all she does it shout at him at how he has abided her after she carried him for 9 months. He’s a spoilt little boy as the youngest so obviously he can’t handle being shouted at. He hates being here because our entire house is filled to the brim with boxes. Since he mainly lives with our dad she even took that as a reason to fill his room up with these boxes too.
To contextualise how bad this fixation is, my house is 3 floors and has a bathroom on each floor. I can’t use the bathroom in the 3rd floor because it’s my aunty and uncles and I don’t have anything against them but she moved them in without telling anyone the second my sisters left because all she cares about is money. I can’t use the one in the first floor because the entire corridor there is filled with boxes and if I broke anything there she’s kill me. I leave my house at 7:15 each morning to catch bus and for the past month I’ve missed my bus everyday because I’ve been trying to navigate the boxes. I asked her to buy me a to buy me a textbook because I have big exams this year and she basically refused because “no one uses textbooks anymore.” The textbook was £4.50 Even to an invest in a decent bra for me was a problem.
She removed the trampoline in he back garden and built 2 more sheds so that she could fill them with more boxes. She threw away everything in the old shed so she could fill it with boxes. There isn’t a spare space in my house that isn’t crammed with boxes. She even finally managed to get a job and every penny she earns from it goes to boxes. She hold my bus money which is literally £1.10. I hate living with my mum she’s selfish and narcissistic. She has a serious problem and refuses to listen to reason. If I added all the things she’s done to make absolutely abhor her we’d be here for days.
I know this more of a rant than anything else but I’m just so frustrated and tired. I can’t revise in my home, I can’t bring friends to my house, I don’t even have a table to eat. So please, I’m begging for any advice on how make this situation more bearable and/or help my mum.
submitted by IntelligentAbies7884 to Advice [link] [comments]
For some background, my parents are divorced and my mum has 2 master degrees in engineering and medicine. However, while she was married to my dad she was a housewife and only started working in the last few years of their marriage. When they broke she continued working but around 2021 she lost her job because of some complications surrounding dbs and incident that occurred when we were younger. And then my grandma passed soon after I think this made her lose the motivation to work because she didn’t look for work again and immediately claimed universal credit.
My mum has always had a hobby of selling things. She used to sell antique pieces and jewellery on eBay. However, as you can imagine, this was only appealing to a very select crowd and so while the money she did make was vast, the business in itself wasn’t very profitable. She stopped selling when she found out that one of her friends had stolen some all of her gold pieces while staying at our house. Back when she sold the jewellery, it all stayed in a reasonable sized shelf in her room.
This boxes thing all started in August 2023. My mum bought some item returns thinking she would resell them. My sisters had gone to university at this point so it would just be me left around the house. My mum left about 14 large boxes across the sofas in the living room. She told me that I would be able to sit there again when I had listed all her items. Since it was my holiday as a student I decided to list them. However, as I said before, these items were returns so many of them were damaged and did not sell or when they did sell they would quickly be returned.
My mum kept saying things like “I’m cursed” and “I’ll never buy this kind of a thing again.” Which at the time was annoying because who forced her to buy it in the first place but also relieving because it meant we’d get our living room back and she’d stop buying useless things that drain our money and don’t inject any money back in. I told my sister about this and she suggested that my mum tried a vendor to find items that were actually working that she could sell.
This was when the problem started. My mum bought 20 boxes and filled the living room from head to toe. When that wasn’t enough she filled the study room up with boxes too which is the only place in my entire house that had a table . Months before this boxes business table started me and my sister BEGGED her to buy a dining table but she just refused calling me and my sisters “leeches”
To be quite honest, I’m sick of my mum. She uses her depression to be a deadbeat and useless excuse for a mother. My brother is probably one his way to obesity because he’ll eat 24 of my Costco cookies in one sitting and she won’t bat an eye. He’s 9 and mostly lives with my dad but when he does come visit she’ll give him a phone to shut him up and stop him bothering her. She’s always insulting my dad calling him “wicked” because my brother never visits her but when he does all she does it shout at him at how he has abided her after she carried him for 9 months. He’s a spoilt little boy as the youngest so obviously he can’t handle being shouted at. He hates being here because our entire house is filled to the brim with boxes. Since he mainly lives with our dad she even took that as a reason to fill his room up with these boxes too.
To contextualise how bad this fixation is, my house is 3 floors and has a bathroom on each floor. I can’t use the bathroom in the 3rd floor because it’s my aunty and uncles and I don’t have anything against them but she moved them in without telling anyone the second my sisters left because all she cares about is money. I can’t use the one in the first floor because the entire corridor there is filled with boxes and if I broke anything there she’s kill me. I leave my house at 7:15 each morning to catch bus and for the past month I’ve missed my bus everyday because I’ve been trying to navigate the boxes. I asked her to buy me a to buy me a textbook because I have big exams this year and she basically refused because “no one uses textbooks anymore.” The textbook was £4.50 Even to an invest in a decent bra for me was a problem.
She removed the trampoline in he back garden and built 2 more sheds so that she could fill them with more boxes. She threw away everything in the old shed so she could fill it with boxes. There isn’t a spare space in my house that isn’t crammed with boxes. She even finally managed to get a job and every penny she earns from it goes to boxes. She hold my bus money which is literally £1.10. I hate living with my mum she’s selfish and narcissistic. She has a serious problem and refuses to listen to reason. If I added all the things she’s done to make absolutely abhor her we’d be here for days.
I know this more of a rant than anything else but I’m just so frustrated and tired. I can’t revise in my home, I can’t bring friends to my house, I don’t even have a table to eat. So please, I’m begging for any advice on how make this situation more bearable and/or help my mum.
2024.02.14 22:17 IntelligentAbies7884 My mum is using her depression as an excuse to ruin my life and place money over her kids and I’m sick of it
For some background, my parents are divorced and my mum has 2 master degrees in engineering and medicine. However, while she was married to my dad she was a housewife and only started working in the last few years of their marriage. When they broke she continued working but around 2021 she lost her job because of some complications surrounding dbs and incident that occurred when we were younger. And then my grandma passed soon after I think this made her lose the motivation to work because she didn’t look for work again and immediately claimed universal credit.
My mum has always had a hobby of selling things. She used to sell antique pieces and jewellery on eBay. However, as you can imagine, this was only appealing to a very select crowd and so while the money she did make was vast, the business in itself wasn’t very profitable. She stopped selling when she found out that one of her friends had stolen some all of her gold pieces while staying at our house. Back when she sold the jewellery, it all stayed in a reasonable sized shelf in her room.
This boxes thing all started in August 2023. My mum bought some item returns thinking she would resell them. My sisters had gone to university at this point so it would just be me left around the house. My mum left about 14 large boxes across the sofas in the living room. She told me that I would be able to sit there again when I had listed all her items. Since it was my holiday as a student I decided to list them. However, as I said before, these items were returns so many of them were damaged and did not sell or when they did sell they would quickly be returned.
My mum kept saying things like “I’m cursed” and “I’ll never buy this kind of a thing again.” Which at the time was annoying because who forced her to buy it in the first place but also relieving because it meant we’d get our living room back and she’d stop buying useless things that drain our money and don’t inject any money back in. I told my sister about this and she suggested that my mum tried a vendor to find items that were actually working that she could sell.
This was when the problem started. My mum bought 20 boxes and filled the living room from head to toe. When that wasn’t enough she filled the study room up with boxes too which is the only place in my entire house that had a table . Months before this boxes business table started me and my sister BEGGED her to buy a dining table but she just refused calling me and my sisters “leeches”
To be quite honest, I’m sick of my mum. She uses her depression to be a deadbeat and useless excuse for a mother. My brother is probably one his way to obesity because he’ll eat 24 of my Costco cookies in one sitting and she won’t bat an eye. He’s 9 and mostly lives with my dad but when he does come visit she’ll give him a phone to shut him up and stop him bothering her. She’s always insulting my dad calling him “wicked” because my brother never visits her but when he does all she does it shout at him at how he has abandoned her after she carried him for 9 months. He’s a spoilt little boy as the youngest so obviously he can’t handle being shouted at. He hates being here because our entire house is filled to the brim with boxes. Since he mainly lives with our dad she even took that as a reason to fill his room up with these boxes too.
To contextualise how bad this fixation is, my house is 3 floors and has a bathroom on each floor. I can’t use the bathroom in the 3rd floor because it’s my aunty and uncles and I don’t have anything against them but she moved them in without telling anyone the second my sisters left because all she cares about is money. I can’t use the one in the first floor because the entire corridor there is filled with boxes and if I broke anything there she’s kill me. I leave my house at 7:15 each morning to catch bus and for the past month I’ve missed my bus everyday because I’ve been trying to navigate the boxes. I asked her to buy me a to buy me a textbook because I have big exams this year and she basically refused because “no one uses textbooks anymore.” The textbook was £4.50 Even to an invest in a decent bra for me was a problem.
She removed the trampoline in he back garden and built 2 more sheds so that she could fill them with more boxes. She threw away everything in the old shed so she could fill it with boxes. There isn’t a spare space in my house that isn’t crammed with boxes. She even finally managed to get a job and every penny she earns from it goes to boxes. She holds my bus money which is literally £1.10 over my head so that I can’t take a stand against her. I hate living with my mum she’s selfish and narcissistic. She has a serious problem and refuses to listen to reason. If I added all the things she’s done to make absolutely abhor her we’d be here for days.
I know this more of a rant than anything else but I’m just so frustrated and tired. I can’t revise in my home, I can’t bring friends to my house, I don’t even have a table to eat. So please, I’m begging for any advice on how make this situation more bearable and/or help my mum.
submitted by IntelligentAbies7884 to AdviceForTeens [link] [comments]
My mum has always had a hobby of selling things. She used to sell antique pieces and jewellery on eBay. However, as you can imagine, this was only appealing to a very select crowd and so while the money she did make was vast, the business in itself wasn’t very profitable. She stopped selling when she found out that one of her friends had stolen some all of her gold pieces while staying at our house. Back when she sold the jewellery, it all stayed in a reasonable sized shelf in her room.
This boxes thing all started in August 2023. My mum bought some item returns thinking she would resell them. My sisters had gone to university at this point so it would just be me left around the house. My mum left about 14 large boxes across the sofas in the living room. She told me that I would be able to sit there again when I had listed all her items. Since it was my holiday as a student I decided to list them. However, as I said before, these items were returns so many of them were damaged and did not sell or when they did sell they would quickly be returned.
My mum kept saying things like “I’m cursed” and “I’ll never buy this kind of a thing again.” Which at the time was annoying because who forced her to buy it in the first place but also relieving because it meant we’d get our living room back and she’d stop buying useless things that drain our money and don’t inject any money back in. I told my sister about this and she suggested that my mum tried a vendor to find items that were actually working that she could sell.
This was when the problem started. My mum bought 20 boxes and filled the living room from head to toe. When that wasn’t enough she filled the study room up with boxes too which is the only place in my entire house that had a table . Months before this boxes business table started me and my sister BEGGED her to buy a dining table but she just refused calling me and my sisters “leeches”
To be quite honest, I’m sick of my mum. She uses her depression to be a deadbeat and useless excuse for a mother. My brother is probably one his way to obesity because he’ll eat 24 of my Costco cookies in one sitting and she won’t bat an eye. He’s 9 and mostly lives with my dad but when he does come visit she’ll give him a phone to shut him up and stop him bothering her. She’s always insulting my dad calling him “wicked” because my brother never visits her but when he does all she does it shout at him at how he has abandoned her after she carried him for 9 months. He’s a spoilt little boy as the youngest so obviously he can’t handle being shouted at. He hates being here because our entire house is filled to the brim with boxes. Since he mainly lives with our dad she even took that as a reason to fill his room up with these boxes too.
To contextualise how bad this fixation is, my house is 3 floors and has a bathroom on each floor. I can’t use the bathroom in the 3rd floor because it’s my aunty and uncles and I don’t have anything against them but she moved them in without telling anyone the second my sisters left because all she cares about is money. I can’t use the one in the first floor because the entire corridor there is filled with boxes and if I broke anything there she’s kill me. I leave my house at 7:15 each morning to catch bus and for the past month I’ve missed my bus everyday because I’ve been trying to navigate the boxes. I asked her to buy me a to buy me a textbook because I have big exams this year and she basically refused because “no one uses textbooks anymore.” The textbook was £4.50 Even to an invest in a decent bra for me was a problem.
She removed the trampoline in he back garden and built 2 more sheds so that she could fill them with more boxes. She threw away everything in the old shed so she could fill it with boxes. There isn’t a spare space in my house that isn’t crammed with boxes. She even finally managed to get a job and every penny she earns from it goes to boxes. She holds my bus money which is literally £1.10 over my head so that I can’t take a stand against her. I hate living with my mum she’s selfish and narcissistic. She has a serious problem and refuses to listen to reason. If I added all the things she’s done to make absolutely abhor her we’d be here for days.
I know this more of a rant than anything else but I’m just so frustrated and tired. I can’t revise in my home, I can’t bring friends to my house, I don’t even have a table to eat. So please, I’m begging for any advice on how make this situation more bearable and/or help my mum.
2024.02.07 07:26 en5femme YOU ARE NOW A WOMAN.
So many stories I have read of the boy or man being curious about female attire, and must don a pair of panties, bra, full or half slip, even a nightdress, to discover the sensuous feeling. Many feel guilty about it afterward, but why feel guilty? You are only finding out for yourself, what it feels like to wear lingerie, nightwear, maybe a skirt or dress at home, when everyone is out. The thrill of the forbidden garment against your naked skin, the excitement it gives you. You promise yourself, it is this only time, but the urge becomes too great, and there you're again stepping into a pair of panties. It does not stop there, as you reach for a bra, a slip, pantyhose, a dress or skirt and top. You fall deeper into the forbidden sanctum of femininity, and style your hair, or wear a ladies wig. You apply make-up, and become good at it. You slip into heels, walk about the bedroom, then you wonder what it is like to go outside, dressed as a woman. You adopt feminine mannerism. You loathe having to change back to your male drab clothes. You loathe being a miserable boy or man, as it is not really you. You yearn to be a girl, a woman. You must confide in some female, be it mom, sister, auntie, wife, mom-in-law or even your girlfriend. She is understanding and assists you on your journey to womanhood. The woman, sees you are much happier in a skirt, and encourages you to be a woman more and more. You both go out on a girl's night, or shopping together. You long for a pair of real breasts, and wish you had a vagina. Finally you take the decision and live all time as a woman. You now are happy.
submitted by en5femme to CrossdressingStories [link] [comments]
2024.01.25 01:47 Citrus_honey_tea AITA for taking off my shirt in front of my bsf’s bf?
So I(22f) have a best friend,Lily(21f). Her boyfriend, Zach(22m) is also my best friend. Me and Zach have been friends since we were in diapers( we were neighbors and our moms were cousins). I met Lily in high school and we’ve been inseparable since. Zach and Lily started dating in the second year of high school. I was the one who introduced Zach and Lily and told them they should go on a date. They did,it was an absolute success and started dating soon after. They have been dating for 6years now and Zach is still CRAZILY in love with Lily. When I say “crazily” I mean it. He would call me and tell me what she did that was “absolutely adorable” or tell me I should find a girlfriend like her( I’m lesbian and already came out a few years ago ) but starts getting upset when I jokingly say I’ll steal her. I think this is both amazing and kinda annoying because he always comes to me.
Here’s where the problem comes. A while back,my auntie (Zach’s mother) called me and asked me help Zach paint the house. I had nothing to do and I love to help out so I said yes. It was in the summer and that day was pretty hot so I took off my shirt half way through. I had a sports bra on and since Zach has seen me multiple times like that I thought it would be fine. After we were done,auntie called us in and we ate some food. Auntie then asked us if we could paint the fence as well. We said yes. Lily came over as a “surprise” and saw me shirtless(with a bra on) then started screaming and yelling at me to leave her boyfriend alone and to leave. Zach tried to calm her down but she started saying that he was cheating on her with me. Once she calmed down I told her I don’t want Zach and I was just hot. Lily was still upset and said I’m lying and I definitely wanted Zach. Zach told her he didn’t want me and was in love with Lily. Lily started crying and calling us liars. I got mad and told her to stop overreacting and accept the fact that Zach really loves her. I left the house so they can talk it out. Now I’m getting texts and calls from our friends saying I was an asshole and I should apologize. I do think I was an asshole to tell her to stop overreacting but people are telling me it’s my fault for taking off my shirt and that I should stay away from Zach and her. So AITA?
Update Zach and Lily had a talk. Lily decided to go to therapy and she apologized to me for yelling at me. We made up and this probably made our relationship better. So we have that. Zach also told me, they are most likely going to go to couples therapy. Edit: so a lot of people are saying Lily is crazy but she’s been hurt once by an old friend who actually did take her ex boyfriend. Also in where we live marrying cousins or second cousins is quite common. Edit 2: a few people are saying this is fake because I called Zach’s mom auntie. It’s just what I like to call her and what Zach calls my mom. Also I spelled his name wrong. Lily does know I’m lesbian but her old friend also told her that and then proceeded to take her ex.
submitted by Citrus_honey_tea to TwoHotTakes [link] [comments]
Here’s where the problem comes. A while back,my auntie (Zach’s mother) called me and asked me help Zach paint the house. I had nothing to do and I love to help out so I said yes. It was in the summer and that day was pretty hot so I took off my shirt half way through. I had a sports bra on and since Zach has seen me multiple times like that I thought it would be fine. After we were done,auntie called us in and we ate some food. Auntie then asked us if we could paint the fence as well. We said yes. Lily came over as a “surprise” and saw me shirtless(with a bra on) then started screaming and yelling at me to leave her boyfriend alone and to leave. Zach tried to calm her down but she started saying that he was cheating on her with me. Once she calmed down I told her I don’t want Zach and I was just hot. Lily was still upset and said I’m lying and I definitely wanted Zach. Zach told her he didn’t want me and was in love with Lily. Lily started crying and calling us liars. I got mad and told her to stop overreacting and accept the fact that Zach really loves her. I left the house so they can talk it out. Now I’m getting texts and calls from our friends saying I was an asshole and I should apologize. I do think I was an asshole to tell her to stop overreacting but people are telling me it’s my fault for taking off my shirt and that I should stay away from Zach and her. So AITA?
Update Zach and Lily had a talk. Lily decided to go to therapy and she apologized to me for yelling at me. We made up and this probably made our relationship better. So we have that. Zach also told me, they are most likely going to go to couples therapy. Edit: so a lot of people are saying Lily is crazy but she’s been hurt once by an old friend who actually did take her ex boyfriend. Also in where we live marrying cousins or second cousins is quite common. Edit 2: a few people are saying this is fake because I called Zach’s mom auntie. It’s just what I like to call her and what Zach calls my mom. Also I spelled his name wrong. Lily does know I’m lesbian but her old friend also told her that and then proceeded to take her ex.
2024.01.20 17:30 Wonderful_Walk4093 Okay, this is going to be long, but I just need to get this all out there. Basically the whole story of my transition, from 13 till now at 19.
As soon as puberty began, I was very uncomfortable with my female sex characteristics. Periods were extremely distressing (though not that painful physically) and I would isolate myself away and just cry through it every time it happened, I was miserable.
The breast growth made me so uncomfortable; I went straight from training bras to using two tight sports bras layered on top of each other to makeshift bind. I only ever had one normal bra and I refused to wear it.
One day when I was 13, my best friend texted me and told me she is transgender. She said she wants to go by he/him pronouns and told me the male name he wants to go by. I was extremely supportive and happy for him. I didn't know much about how to be supportive or what it means to be transgender, so I decided to do some research.
After reading a bit about dysphoria, and the life stories of trans guys, it just hit me "Oh shit, this is me". I still questioned for a bit; I went through a few different labels quietly but didn't tell anyone until, I was sure. In that period of questioning, I was so uncomfortable with being referred to as a girl in any way. Once my class in school went on a school trip and we stopped in McDonalds on the way back. I was sitting with the girls and when we got up to leave, a server said, "Goodbye girls!... and boy!" referring to me. Keep in mind, at this point I still had long hair, but I was dressed neutral, just a hoodie and tracksuit bottoms. The girls all turned to me and started laughing but I was just so happy that she called me a boy.
A relative bought all the girls in the family the same gift for Christmas that year (before I was out) at our Christmas party and I didn't care what the gift was, but I was so upset at being included as a girl, I literally just sat under the table and cried for half an hour. That was the point when I realised, I needed to come out.
**Coming out**
I came out to my best friend first, the ftm guy I mentioned before, and he was very happy for me, but we were kind of drifting apart at this point, so we didn't talk much. I came out to my mum soon after, by text while she was in another room because I couldn't work up the courage to say it face to face. She was extremely supportive and helped me tell my dad and brother and they were just as supportive. I called my sister to tell her, and she was so happy for me and proud, she started crying, it was very sweet.
In the summer of that year, my whole extended family on my mum's side was coming to visit my Granny so my parents and I thought this would be a good time to tell them. I went outside with my granny to tell her privately first. Before I told her she gave me a gift, a rainbow candle, because she could tell something was up. She could tell I was uncomfortable; I'd cut my hair short, and I was holding something back so she figured I was LGBT in some way. I didn't know what reaction to expect from her because she's older but that really made me cry, it was so unexpectedly sweet. She was obviously very accepting when I told her, and she's been so supportive the whole way.
My mum helped me announce it for everyone else, all my aunties, uncles, and cousins, and they were all supportive, no negative reactions. My granny's partner (he's not my grandad), said something about how lots of people are changing genders these days, and I honestly don't even consider that an overly negative reaction, but my auntie was ready to fight him for me lol. I couldn't have asked for a better family, they've been lovely.
I can't remember when I told my dad's side of the family, but they were supportive too. In the years since I came out, two of my cousins on my dad's side have come out as mtf.
In September that year (I was 14), my parents and I explained the situation to my principal and teachers before school started. On the first day of school, my principal walked around to each class in my year to just explain it to them and what they should call me. I didn't really know many people in my year, so they had no idea who he was talking about lol. The ones who did know were indifferent and were never malicious to me. Everyone used he/him and my chosen name and no one gave me a hard time. I was lucky, I think.
**Dysphoria**
I was extremely dysphoric, so I talked with my mum about buying a binder, she was a bit apprehensive, but I had done research on the safest ones and let her know I knew the guidelines to follow: don't bind when exercising or sleeping, don't bind over 10-12 hours, take a break from binding every once in a while. This reassured her. I knew not to ask about testosterone so soon because this was very new to my parents, and it might scare them.
At some point my mum and I talked with my doctor about progesterone only birth control to stop my periods, and I tried it out, but it caused a period that lasted over two weeks and I could not handle that. It genuinely felt traumatizing. I didn't touch those pills again.
At age 15 I brought up testosterone, but my parents were adamant about waiting until 18. I usually did not allow them to see me when my dysphoria was at its worst, but I realised they needed to see just how bad it was for them to understand why I needed testosterone. When the time of the month happened, I would just be bundled up in blankets lying on my bedroom floor sobbing for hours in distress. I would usually not let my mum come in, but I did from then on, because she didn't know how much I was suffering. When my voice dysphoria was bad, I could not bring myself to speak. When I couldn't bind when I'm sick, I could not leave my bed or let anyone see me. I was so depressed. I dressed up the year before as a soldier for Halloween in school and people I didn't know thought I was a butch lesbian and I was so upset I just never did anything like that again, it was just hoodies to hide my body every day.
**Testosterone and My Diagnosis**
My parents and I went to a transgender healthcare conference at one point and there was a speaker there who my mum recognised. He was saying he is one of only 3 different options for people under 18 to get on HRT in my country. Then my mum realised "Holy shit! That's my endocrinologist!" My mum has a thyroid disorder, and this endocrinologist prescribes her thyroid hormones. The next time she had an appointment with him, she talked about me and organised an appointment for me with him to talk about hrt. It was so incredibly lucky. He would otherwise have a long waiting list, but I got past it somehow.
My parents and I talked about testosterone, and they had realised how much I was suffering so they changed their minds and agreed to let me start before 18. The endocrinologist recommended a reputable psychiatrist to assess me for gender incongruence.
The psychiatrist said she begins with 3 appointments over 6 months, and if she thinks I am transgender and fit the criteria, and would benefit from hormone therapy, I will be given a diagnosis of gender incongruence and then the endocrinologist can give me a prescription for hrt. However, she said if she isn't sure about me being transgender after those 3 appointments, then she will do another 3 appointments to be sure.
I can't remember that much about the appointments, but I'll tell you what I do remember. She gave me a checklist of different body parts and told me to check off the ones I am uncomfortable with. I assume this is to determine if you have gender dysphoria, or body dysmorphia. I only checked off the sex characteristics and I was very uncomfortable even reading them. At one point she brought my parents in to get their perspective and ask if I showed any signs in childhood. They pointed out some possible things like always wearing 'boy clothes', cutting my own hair short, dressing as male characters for Halloween, things like that.
She asked me if I wanted to freeze my eggs and I visibly recoiled. I told her I have always hated children and I have no interest in having them, and the process would be so unbearably dysphoric I couldn't handle it. I also specified if I did ever decide to have kids, blood relation is not important to me, I'd rather adopt.
After the 3 appointments, she was confident I fit the criteria and would benefit from testosterone, so she told me there was no need for an extra 3 appointments, and she diagnosed me with gender incongruence.
At this point I was 16 and my endocrinologist put me on hormone blockers, which I needed to take for 2 years, and testosterone gel. My dysphoria eased a lot and my head really cleared. Life opened up a lot for me and I became a lot more confident and social.
**Top Dysphoria & Surgery**
But my top dysphoria was really debilitating. It made it hard for me to go outside most days because I didn't feel flat enough even with a binder. I would wear oversized black hoodies and hunch over all the time. Even on holidays to hot countries I would wear big hoodies which resulted in heat stroke more than once. I progressed to wearing two binders and stopped following the guidelines. I would wear them all day, well past the 12-hour limit. As long as I was awake, I would be wearing both of my binders. If the top dysphoria was too bad to sleep some days, I would sleep in my binders too.
When I caught Covid at 17, I got long Covid, and it was the longest amount of time I had gone without binding. I was miserable, an absolute wreck, I couldn't function. As long as I wasn't binding, I could not go to school, I could not leave my room. So, I tried to push myself, I compromised with myself and wore one binder and a big puffy jacket so it was harder to tell and I went to school. Walking up the stairs nearly made me pass out, I still had a chronic cough with long covid, so my lungs were already not working at full capacity and then I was constricting them with a binder as well.
It was at this point that my parents knew I couldn't keep going on like this. They could see that my top dysphoria was honestly debilitating, and I could not function without surgery. My long covid cleared up over a few months and when I was better, they brought up surgery with me and said they were willing to help me pursue it, and they would pay for the whole thing. I had been researching surgeons for years and I was set on one, but he had a 3 year waiting list. Then my mum told me about a surgeon she heard about from other parents of young trans people. He was a surgeon who was growing in popularity yet still had a short waiting list because he wasn't that well known yet. I did some research on him, and the results were great so I decided on him.
We had a zoom consultation and organized a surgery date for just 5 months later and since I was 18 I could do it with just informed consent, no referrals. It wouldn't have mattered though, because my psychologist and endocrinologist were willing to give me a referral if I needed.
The date was in the middle of summer which was perfect because it gave me enough time to recover before college started and then I could start it stealth. The surgery went perfectly with no complications and a smooth recovery. I went into it with no doubts or fears and came out with a new sense of peace and just felt so much more comfortable with myself.
**Doubt**
When I started college, something happened that really shook me. I was very secure and sure about who I was and had no doubts. Then I found out my old best friend, the trans guy, was in my course too... except SHE had desisted. There she was, full face of makeup, hair grown out all the way down her back, dressed very feminine in a skirt, tights, and shirt that accentuates her shape. The person who was my introduction into what it means to be trans. The one who I related to so much it made me realise I'm trans too. And it turns out she's not trans??
This was the first time in my transition I ever experienced doubt. I really spiralled for a few months. When we were 14 and we were both out as ftm I used to joke that out of the two of us, if only one was trans I'd expect it to be her because she was always more masculine than me. When I saw she desisted and how feminine she was now, I thought "What if I had suffered through puberty and stuck it out? Would I have become comfortable with my body and being a girl like she has?". When I saw her, she looked so happy and confident compared to how she was when we were younger. Meanwhile, even though hrt and surgery helped me, I was still suffering with anxiety, depression, self-confidence, and self-esteem issues.
I wondered; would I be happier now if I had walked the same path she did? If I had put off transition and figured out ways to cope through puberty and eventually grow comfortable with myself? Or would I have never become comfortable with myself as female?
I was always thinking in black and white as a teenager. I wish I could have left some room for nuance. When I figured out I wanted to transition, I was dead set on following through all the way as soon as possible and nothing, or no one, could have changed my mind. I rejected any proposed options of things that might help to calm my distress such as mindfulness, and insisted transition is the only thing that could help even though I didn't even give anything else a chance. That stubbornness and one-track mindset made it so I never allowed myself to explore my identity or what I wanted any further, I was a binary trans man and that was that.
**What Now?**
Now I've gotten to a point where I've realised there is no point in lingering on "what ifs?" because literally nothing would have changed my mind about transitioning when I was younger. I could go back in a time machine and tell my 14-year-old self, don't transition, but I'd still do it because it's what I felt I needed to move forwards and cope. So, there is no point in debating whether not transitioning would have made me happier or not.
What is worth focussing on is how I move forward from here.
I want to stop testosterone due to the hairline recession, as well as the atrophy it's causing. I know there are meds to treat those things, but I don't want to take them. What I am worried about is the fat redistribution from oestrogen, I don't know if I want that, and periods might be distressing, it's been a long time since I've had one.
I want to experiment with more feminine presentation, specifically makeup, but I'm very nervous about it. I can tell that my mum worries whenever I do anything like paint my nails or shave my face, she worries I might have regrets and she's done the wrong thing by allowing me on hormones or helping me by paying for surgery. I don't know how to make it clear to her that I don't regret anything about my transition, I just don't want to keep going with it.
So that's where I am right now at 19, nearly 6 years since I came out. I'm not sure what I am, but I don't want to change anything socially like my name or pronouns.
submitted by Wonderful_Walk4093 to actual_detrans [link] [comments]
The breast growth made me so uncomfortable; I went straight from training bras to using two tight sports bras layered on top of each other to makeshift bind. I only ever had one normal bra and I refused to wear it.
One day when I was 13, my best friend texted me and told me she is transgender. She said she wants to go by he/him pronouns and told me the male name he wants to go by. I was extremely supportive and happy for him. I didn't know much about how to be supportive or what it means to be transgender, so I decided to do some research.
After reading a bit about dysphoria, and the life stories of trans guys, it just hit me "Oh shit, this is me". I still questioned for a bit; I went through a few different labels quietly but didn't tell anyone until, I was sure. In that period of questioning, I was so uncomfortable with being referred to as a girl in any way. Once my class in school went on a school trip and we stopped in McDonalds on the way back. I was sitting with the girls and when we got up to leave, a server said, "Goodbye girls!... and boy!" referring to me. Keep in mind, at this point I still had long hair, but I was dressed neutral, just a hoodie and tracksuit bottoms. The girls all turned to me and started laughing but I was just so happy that she called me a boy.
A relative bought all the girls in the family the same gift for Christmas that year (before I was out) at our Christmas party and I didn't care what the gift was, but I was so upset at being included as a girl, I literally just sat under the table and cried for half an hour. That was the point when I realised, I needed to come out.
**Coming out**
I came out to my best friend first, the ftm guy I mentioned before, and he was very happy for me, but we were kind of drifting apart at this point, so we didn't talk much. I came out to my mum soon after, by text while she was in another room because I couldn't work up the courage to say it face to face. She was extremely supportive and helped me tell my dad and brother and they were just as supportive. I called my sister to tell her, and she was so happy for me and proud, she started crying, it was very sweet.
In the summer of that year, my whole extended family on my mum's side was coming to visit my Granny so my parents and I thought this would be a good time to tell them. I went outside with my granny to tell her privately first. Before I told her she gave me a gift, a rainbow candle, because she could tell something was up. She could tell I was uncomfortable; I'd cut my hair short, and I was holding something back so she figured I was LGBT in some way. I didn't know what reaction to expect from her because she's older but that really made me cry, it was so unexpectedly sweet. She was obviously very accepting when I told her, and she's been so supportive the whole way.
My mum helped me announce it for everyone else, all my aunties, uncles, and cousins, and they were all supportive, no negative reactions. My granny's partner (he's not my grandad), said something about how lots of people are changing genders these days, and I honestly don't even consider that an overly negative reaction, but my auntie was ready to fight him for me lol. I couldn't have asked for a better family, they've been lovely.
I can't remember when I told my dad's side of the family, but they were supportive too. In the years since I came out, two of my cousins on my dad's side have come out as mtf.
In September that year (I was 14), my parents and I explained the situation to my principal and teachers before school started. On the first day of school, my principal walked around to each class in my year to just explain it to them and what they should call me. I didn't really know many people in my year, so they had no idea who he was talking about lol. The ones who did know were indifferent and were never malicious to me. Everyone used he/him and my chosen name and no one gave me a hard time. I was lucky, I think.
**Dysphoria**
I was extremely dysphoric, so I talked with my mum about buying a binder, she was a bit apprehensive, but I had done research on the safest ones and let her know I knew the guidelines to follow: don't bind when exercising or sleeping, don't bind over 10-12 hours, take a break from binding every once in a while. This reassured her. I knew not to ask about testosterone so soon because this was very new to my parents, and it might scare them.
At some point my mum and I talked with my doctor about progesterone only birth control to stop my periods, and I tried it out, but it caused a period that lasted over two weeks and I could not handle that. It genuinely felt traumatizing. I didn't touch those pills again.
At age 15 I brought up testosterone, but my parents were adamant about waiting until 18. I usually did not allow them to see me when my dysphoria was at its worst, but I realised they needed to see just how bad it was for them to understand why I needed testosterone. When the time of the month happened, I would just be bundled up in blankets lying on my bedroom floor sobbing for hours in distress. I would usually not let my mum come in, but I did from then on, because she didn't know how much I was suffering. When my voice dysphoria was bad, I could not bring myself to speak. When I couldn't bind when I'm sick, I could not leave my bed or let anyone see me. I was so depressed. I dressed up the year before as a soldier for Halloween in school and people I didn't know thought I was a butch lesbian and I was so upset I just never did anything like that again, it was just hoodies to hide my body every day.
**Testosterone and My Diagnosis**
My parents and I went to a transgender healthcare conference at one point and there was a speaker there who my mum recognised. He was saying he is one of only 3 different options for people under 18 to get on HRT in my country. Then my mum realised "Holy shit! That's my endocrinologist!" My mum has a thyroid disorder, and this endocrinologist prescribes her thyroid hormones. The next time she had an appointment with him, she talked about me and organised an appointment for me with him to talk about hrt. It was so incredibly lucky. He would otherwise have a long waiting list, but I got past it somehow.
My parents and I talked about testosterone, and they had realised how much I was suffering so they changed their minds and agreed to let me start before 18. The endocrinologist recommended a reputable psychiatrist to assess me for gender incongruence.
The psychiatrist said she begins with 3 appointments over 6 months, and if she thinks I am transgender and fit the criteria, and would benefit from hormone therapy, I will be given a diagnosis of gender incongruence and then the endocrinologist can give me a prescription for hrt. However, she said if she isn't sure about me being transgender after those 3 appointments, then she will do another 3 appointments to be sure.
I can't remember that much about the appointments, but I'll tell you what I do remember. She gave me a checklist of different body parts and told me to check off the ones I am uncomfortable with. I assume this is to determine if you have gender dysphoria, or body dysmorphia. I only checked off the sex characteristics and I was very uncomfortable even reading them. At one point she brought my parents in to get their perspective and ask if I showed any signs in childhood. They pointed out some possible things like always wearing 'boy clothes', cutting my own hair short, dressing as male characters for Halloween, things like that.
She asked me if I wanted to freeze my eggs and I visibly recoiled. I told her I have always hated children and I have no interest in having them, and the process would be so unbearably dysphoric I couldn't handle it. I also specified if I did ever decide to have kids, blood relation is not important to me, I'd rather adopt.
After the 3 appointments, she was confident I fit the criteria and would benefit from testosterone, so she told me there was no need for an extra 3 appointments, and she diagnosed me with gender incongruence.
At this point I was 16 and my endocrinologist put me on hormone blockers, which I needed to take for 2 years, and testosterone gel. My dysphoria eased a lot and my head really cleared. Life opened up a lot for me and I became a lot more confident and social.
**Top Dysphoria & Surgery**
But my top dysphoria was really debilitating. It made it hard for me to go outside most days because I didn't feel flat enough even with a binder. I would wear oversized black hoodies and hunch over all the time. Even on holidays to hot countries I would wear big hoodies which resulted in heat stroke more than once. I progressed to wearing two binders and stopped following the guidelines. I would wear them all day, well past the 12-hour limit. As long as I was awake, I would be wearing both of my binders. If the top dysphoria was too bad to sleep some days, I would sleep in my binders too.
When I caught Covid at 17, I got long Covid, and it was the longest amount of time I had gone without binding. I was miserable, an absolute wreck, I couldn't function. As long as I wasn't binding, I could not go to school, I could not leave my room. So, I tried to push myself, I compromised with myself and wore one binder and a big puffy jacket so it was harder to tell and I went to school. Walking up the stairs nearly made me pass out, I still had a chronic cough with long covid, so my lungs were already not working at full capacity and then I was constricting them with a binder as well.
It was at this point that my parents knew I couldn't keep going on like this. They could see that my top dysphoria was honestly debilitating, and I could not function without surgery. My long covid cleared up over a few months and when I was better, they brought up surgery with me and said they were willing to help me pursue it, and they would pay for the whole thing. I had been researching surgeons for years and I was set on one, but he had a 3 year waiting list. Then my mum told me about a surgeon she heard about from other parents of young trans people. He was a surgeon who was growing in popularity yet still had a short waiting list because he wasn't that well known yet. I did some research on him, and the results were great so I decided on him.
We had a zoom consultation and organized a surgery date for just 5 months later and since I was 18 I could do it with just informed consent, no referrals. It wouldn't have mattered though, because my psychologist and endocrinologist were willing to give me a referral if I needed.
The date was in the middle of summer which was perfect because it gave me enough time to recover before college started and then I could start it stealth. The surgery went perfectly with no complications and a smooth recovery. I went into it with no doubts or fears and came out with a new sense of peace and just felt so much more comfortable with myself.
**Doubt**
When I started college, something happened that really shook me. I was very secure and sure about who I was and had no doubts. Then I found out my old best friend, the trans guy, was in my course too... except SHE had desisted. There she was, full face of makeup, hair grown out all the way down her back, dressed very feminine in a skirt, tights, and shirt that accentuates her shape. The person who was my introduction into what it means to be trans. The one who I related to so much it made me realise I'm trans too. And it turns out she's not trans??
This was the first time in my transition I ever experienced doubt. I really spiralled for a few months. When we were 14 and we were both out as ftm I used to joke that out of the two of us, if only one was trans I'd expect it to be her because she was always more masculine than me. When I saw she desisted and how feminine she was now, I thought "What if I had suffered through puberty and stuck it out? Would I have become comfortable with my body and being a girl like she has?". When I saw her, she looked so happy and confident compared to how she was when we were younger. Meanwhile, even though hrt and surgery helped me, I was still suffering with anxiety, depression, self-confidence, and self-esteem issues.
I wondered; would I be happier now if I had walked the same path she did? If I had put off transition and figured out ways to cope through puberty and eventually grow comfortable with myself? Or would I have never become comfortable with myself as female?
I was always thinking in black and white as a teenager. I wish I could have left some room for nuance. When I figured out I wanted to transition, I was dead set on following through all the way as soon as possible and nothing, or no one, could have changed my mind. I rejected any proposed options of things that might help to calm my distress such as mindfulness, and insisted transition is the only thing that could help even though I didn't even give anything else a chance. That stubbornness and one-track mindset made it so I never allowed myself to explore my identity or what I wanted any further, I was a binary trans man and that was that.
**What Now?**
Now I've gotten to a point where I've realised there is no point in lingering on "what ifs?" because literally nothing would have changed my mind about transitioning when I was younger. I could go back in a time machine and tell my 14-year-old self, don't transition, but I'd still do it because it's what I felt I needed to move forwards and cope. So, there is no point in debating whether not transitioning would have made me happier or not.
What is worth focussing on is how I move forward from here.
I want to stop testosterone due to the hairline recession, as well as the atrophy it's causing. I know there are meds to treat those things, but I don't want to take them. What I am worried about is the fat redistribution from oestrogen, I don't know if I want that, and periods might be distressing, it's been a long time since I've had one.
I want to experiment with more feminine presentation, specifically makeup, but I'm very nervous about it. I can tell that my mum worries whenever I do anything like paint my nails or shave my face, she worries I might have regrets and she's done the wrong thing by allowing me on hormones or helping me by paying for surgery. I don't know how to make it clear to her that I don't regret anything about my transition, I just don't want to keep going with it.
So that's where I am right now at 19, nearly 6 years since I came out. I'm not sure what I am, but I don't want to change anything socially like my name or pronouns.
2024.01.17 00:28 Traumarama79 Is anyone else a second-gen immigrant struggling with "old vs. new country"?
TW: child abuse, suicide
I (31f) and my mother (54f, Filipino) have always had a somewhat contentious relationship. She definitely used corporal punishment multiple times (until my father, 67m, white American, made her stop) and said it was due to being Filipino that she uses corporal punishment. In childhood she used a lot of put-downs such as every year on picture day, when I'd bring home the photo from school, she'd just sigh and say "Anak, you're just not very photogenic". In childhood she would tell me I was too thin, but now that I'm older she tells me I'm too heavy and don't exercise enough. There were numerous times she would describe me as a disappointment and says she is only proud of me "now" that I am educated and middle-class. She often would put on a bikini or bra/panties and look in the mirror, complaining that she's too fat, then turn to me and say it was my fault that she was so fat, because if she had never gotten pregnant with me she wouldn't have gained weight. A lot of how she's treated me, I've just chalked up to her being Filipino and the culture not being the same, but I'm starting to question this a lot.
Last year I tried to reconnect with my father, who lives in the Philippines, and he ended up abusing my daughter (11f). Everyone on my ex's side and our chosen family here in the States have been extremely supportive of my daughter, believes her unconditionally, etc. including even my aunt (my dad's half-sister). Everyone except my mother has been supportive. She says that she wasn't there and so she can't take sides, and has asked my daughter to just not talk about it. I recently found out my mother is still friends with my father and confronted her about it. After yelling at me to just "get over it" and go to church and exercise more to try to get my mind off what might've happened, I told her that I couldn't trust her because of her ambivalence; she replied by sending me three kissy-face emojis. I haven't spoken to her since.
On the one year anniversary of the abuse, I attempted to end my life and was hospitalized. I have bipolar disorder and personality disorders and was not on an effective medication regimen. One of the things I learned when I was in the hospital was that a lot of my self-hatred stemmed from the programming my mother instilled in me in childhood. In between that, and the way that she has acted about my daughter's abuse, I think I can't have her in my life anymore. But I don't know how to go about doing that. I have tried to talk to white friends about it and they just don't get it. They don't understand that cutting a Filipino parent off isn't the same as cutting an American parent off. Because our culture is so collectivist, cutting my mom off is essentially asking to not have a relationship anymore with my several dozen aunties, uncles, cousins, etc.
I don't really know what to do from here and I'm just reaching out to see if any other immigrant kids have had experience dealing with family like this.
submitted by Traumarama79 to narcissisticparents [link] [comments]
I (31f) and my mother (54f, Filipino) have always had a somewhat contentious relationship. She definitely used corporal punishment multiple times (until my father, 67m, white American, made her stop) and said it was due to being Filipino that she uses corporal punishment. In childhood she used a lot of put-downs such as every year on picture day, when I'd bring home the photo from school, she'd just sigh and say "Anak, you're just not very photogenic". In childhood she would tell me I was too thin, but now that I'm older she tells me I'm too heavy and don't exercise enough. There were numerous times she would describe me as a disappointment and says she is only proud of me "now" that I am educated and middle-class. She often would put on a bikini or bra/panties and look in the mirror, complaining that she's too fat, then turn to me and say it was my fault that she was so fat, because if she had never gotten pregnant with me she wouldn't have gained weight. A lot of how she's treated me, I've just chalked up to her being Filipino and the culture not being the same, but I'm starting to question this a lot.
Last year I tried to reconnect with my father, who lives in the Philippines, and he ended up abusing my daughter (11f). Everyone on my ex's side and our chosen family here in the States have been extremely supportive of my daughter, believes her unconditionally, etc. including even my aunt (my dad's half-sister). Everyone except my mother has been supportive. She says that she wasn't there and so she can't take sides, and has asked my daughter to just not talk about it. I recently found out my mother is still friends with my father and confronted her about it. After yelling at me to just "get over it" and go to church and exercise more to try to get my mind off what might've happened, I told her that I couldn't trust her because of her ambivalence; she replied by sending me three kissy-face emojis. I haven't spoken to her since.
On the one year anniversary of the abuse, I attempted to end my life and was hospitalized. I have bipolar disorder and personality disorders and was not on an effective medication regimen. One of the things I learned when I was in the hospital was that a lot of my self-hatred stemmed from the programming my mother instilled in me in childhood. In between that, and the way that she has acted about my daughter's abuse, I think I can't have her in my life anymore. But I don't know how to go about doing that. I have tried to talk to white friends about it and they just don't get it. They don't understand that cutting a Filipino parent off isn't the same as cutting an American parent off. Because our culture is so collectivist, cutting my mom off is essentially asking to not have a relationship anymore with my several dozen aunties, uncles, cousins, etc.
I don't really know what to do from here and I'm just reaching out to see if any other immigrant kids have had experience dealing with family like this.
2024.01.16 17:34 Traumarama79 Second gen and having problems with my family
TW: child abuse, suicide
I (31f) and my mother (54f, Filipino) have always had a somewhat contentious relationship. She definitely used corporal punishment multiple times (until my father, 67m, white American, made her stop) and said it was due to being Filipino that she uses corporal punishment. In childhood she used a lot of put-downs such as every year on picture day, when I'd bring home the photo from school, she'd just sigh and say "Anak, you're just not very photogenic". In childhood she would tell me I was too thin, but now that I'm older she tells me I'm too heavy and don't exercise enough. There were numerous times she would describe me as a disappointment and says she is only proud of me "now" that I am educated and middle-class. She often would put on a bikini or bra/panties and look in the mirror, complaining that she's too fat, then turn to me and say it was my fault that she was so fat, because if she had never gotten pregnant with me she wouldn't have gained weight. A lot of how she's treated me, I've just chalked up to her being Filipino and the culture not being the same, but I'm starting to question this a lot.
Last year I tried to reconnect with my father, who lives in the Philippines, and he ended up abusing my daughter (11f). Everyone on my ex's side and our chosen family here in the States have been extremely supportive of my daughter, believes her unconditionally, etc. including even my aunt (my dad's half-sister). Everyone except my mother has been supportive. She says that she wasn't there and so she can't take sides, and has asked my daughter to just not talk about it. I recently found out my mother is still friends with my father and confronted her about it. After yelling at me to just "get over it" and go to church and exercise more to try to get my mind off what might've happened, I told her that I couldn't trust her because of her ambivalence; she replied by sending me three kissy-face emojis. I haven't spoken to her since.
On the one year anniversary of the abuse, I attempted to end my life and was hospitalized. I have bipolar disorder and personality disorders and was not on an effective medication regimen. One of the things I learned when I was in the hospital was that a lot of my self-hatred stemmed from the programming my mother instilled in me in childhood. In between that, and the way that she has acted about my daughter's abuse, I think I can't have her in my life anymore. But I don't know how to go about doing that. I have tried to talk to white friends about it and they just don't get it. They don't understand that cutting a Filipino parent off isn't the same as cutting an American parent off. Because our culture is so collectivist, cutting my mom off is essentially asking to not have a relationship anymore with my several dozen aunties, uncles, cousins, etc.
I don't really know what to do from here and I'm just reaching out to see if any other Filipinos have had experience dealing with family like this.
submitted by Traumarama79 to FilipinoAmericans [link] [comments]
I (31f) and my mother (54f, Filipino) have always had a somewhat contentious relationship. She definitely used corporal punishment multiple times (until my father, 67m, white American, made her stop) and said it was due to being Filipino that she uses corporal punishment. In childhood she used a lot of put-downs such as every year on picture day, when I'd bring home the photo from school, she'd just sigh and say "Anak, you're just not very photogenic". In childhood she would tell me I was too thin, but now that I'm older she tells me I'm too heavy and don't exercise enough. There were numerous times she would describe me as a disappointment and says she is only proud of me "now" that I am educated and middle-class. She often would put on a bikini or bra/panties and look in the mirror, complaining that she's too fat, then turn to me and say it was my fault that she was so fat, because if she had never gotten pregnant with me she wouldn't have gained weight. A lot of how she's treated me, I've just chalked up to her being Filipino and the culture not being the same, but I'm starting to question this a lot.
Last year I tried to reconnect with my father, who lives in the Philippines, and he ended up abusing my daughter (11f). Everyone on my ex's side and our chosen family here in the States have been extremely supportive of my daughter, believes her unconditionally, etc. including even my aunt (my dad's half-sister). Everyone except my mother has been supportive. She says that she wasn't there and so she can't take sides, and has asked my daughter to just not talk about it. I recently found out my mother is still friends with my father and confronted her about it. After yelling at me to just "get over it" and go to church and exercise more to try to get my mind off what might've happened, I told her that I couldn't trust her because of her ambivalence; she replied by sending me three kissy-face emojis. I haven't spoken to her since.
On the one year anniversary of the abuse, I attempted to end my life and was hospitalized. I have bipolar disorder and personality disorders and was not on an effective medication regimen. One of the things I learned when I was in the hospital was that a lot of my self-hatred stemmed from the programming my mother instilled in me in childhood. In between that, and the way that she has acted about my daughter's abuse, I think I can't have her in my life anymore. But I don't know how to go about doing that. I have tried to talk to white friends about it and they just don't get it. They don't understand that cutting a Filipino parent off isn't the same as cutting an American parent off. Because our culture is so collectivist, cutting my mom off is essentially asking to not have a relationship anymore with my several dozen aunties, uncles, cousins, etc.
I don't really know what to do from here and I'm just reaching out to see if any other Filipinos have had experience dealing with family like this.
2024.01.16 02:55 Thrownaway6682 AITA for making a comment about my cousins eating habits
Throw away because my main account shares the same name as other accounts
I (M20) was recently at my Aunties house for a family get together a few other members of family were there but most importantly my cousin (M16), we’re amicable never bad blood but we only see each other rarely, during the evening we all sat speaking about different goals for the new year and stuff like that due to the lack of contact, during my turn I expressed my goal of how I’d like to start going back to the gym properly as I have a few free weights at home but no proper equipment, after expressing this my cousin made a comment about my man boobs and how they put his girlfriends to shame, my family laugh but I’m sat there kinda angry as everyone knows it’s a large self image issue I have, for a bit of context I was diagnosed with gynecomastia to which I have a higher level of estrogen in my body giving me puffy nipples and small breasts nothing that would fill a bra but still noticeable it’s always been like this since I hit puberty and it’s kinda the norm for me without it I’d look like any other bigger dude in his early 20’s but never the less seeing everyone else my age have regular looking chests and being bullied relentlessly about it during my school years has always lead to me having conflicts with my own self image, once everyone finished laughing it up I turned around and fired back with at least I know when to put the fork down (he’s a big kid who would eat you out of a weeks worth of food if you left him to it he eats because he can and not because he’s hungry usually passing on main meals just to eat snacks and other stuff around the house) before I get up and going outside for a smoke to help settle my temper, the room went quiet and everyone threw the “oh shit” look at each other before my mum got up to follow me saying I was being really shitty about it and I should have just laughed it off to which I just scoffed at her before turning around shouting thanks for hosting to my auntie and leaving, after a while my phone blew up from texts in the family group chat aimed at me but I couldn’t care less I was too busy sat consoling myself with a friend drinking in an empty park, he said I should’ve just left and maybe took it too far with the food comment but at the time I wasn’t thinking I was hurting which I kinda agree with but there’s still part of me that thinks it was a deserved comment due to it not being the first time he’s made a personal comment at me, after thinking on it for the past few days I thought I’d get an objective view because I still think it’s deserved but I’m still being hounded to apologise
sorry if I haven’t explained myself well it’s late at the time of writing this but after reading it over I think it makes sense if there’s any questions I’ll do my best to answer but this is a throw away so I won’t be checking the post frequently
submitted by Thrownaway6682 to AmItheAsshole [link] [comments]
I (M20) was recently at my Aunties house for a family get together a few other members of family were there but most importantly my cousin (M16), we’re amicable never bad blood but we only see each other rarely, during the evening we all sat speaking about different goals for the new year and stuff like that due to the lack of contact, during my turn I expressed my goal of how I’d like to start going back to the gym properly as I have a few free weights at home but no proper equipment, after expressing this my cousin made a comment about my man boobs and how they put his girlfriends to shame, my family laugh but I’m sat there kinda angry as everyone knows it’s a large self image issue I have, for a bit of context I was diagnosed with gynecomastia to which I have a higher level of estrogen in my body giving me puffy nipples and small breasts nothing that would fill a bra but still noticeable it’s always been like this since I hit puberty and it’s kinda the norm for me without it I’d look like any other bigger dude in his early 20’s but never the less seeing everyone else my age have regular looking chests and being bullied relentlessly about it during my school years has always lead to me having conflicts with my own self image, once everyone finished laughing it up I turned around and fired back with at least I know when to put the fork down (he’s a big kid who would eat you out of a weeks worth of food if you left him to it he eats because he can and not because he’s hungry usually passing on main meals just to eat snacks and other stuff around the house) before I get up and going outside for a smoke to help settle my temper, the room went quiet and everyone threw the “oh shit” look at each other before my mum got up to follow me saying I was being really shitty about it and I should have just laughed it off to which I just scoffed at her before turning around shouting thanks for hosting to my auntie and leaving, after a while my phone blew up from texts in the family group chat aimed at me but I couldn’t care less I was too busy sat consoling myself with a friend drinking in an empty park, he said I should’ve just left and maybe took it too far with the food comment but at the time I wasn’t thinking I was hurting which I kinda agree with but there’s still part of me that thinks it was a deserved comment due to it not being the first time he’s made a personal comment at me, after thinking on it for the past few days I thought I’d get an objective view because I still think it’s deserved but I’m still being hounded to apologise
sorry if I haven’t explained myself well it’s late at the time of writing this but after reading it over I think it makes sense if there’s any questions I’ll do my best to answer but this is a throw away so I won’t be checking the post frequently
2024.01.14 00:37 HollyLouise56 Is My Mum A Asshole For Telling My Auntie Kindly To Take A Picture Of Her In her Nighty Off The Internet That She Posted And Took Without Her Permission and Knowledge?
We went out for a meal on my mum’s birthday, before we went out my auntie took a picture of my mum without my mum’s knowledge or my knowledge… She was in nightwear (She was in a nighty) She had no bra on and she hadn’t had her hair brushed, She was engrossed in opening presents and talking to my brother, She hadn’t realised this picture was taken and my auntie didn’t ask her or tell her about the photo.. We went out for a meal…. She took a picture of us all after the meal, She then said “I know you don’t like photos being taken but we need some” We didn’t think more of it, Because she usually takes photos and then saids “This is for our enjoyment only” and then few days later a post was put on Facebook by my auntie with my mum tagged in it and all of the photographs.. My mum then messaged my auntie to kindly ask for the photo of her in her nighty to be taken down from Facebook and sent her a love heart, My auntie replied and told my mum not to contact her ever again, My mum then messaged again and said “you don’t need to take the whole post down…It’s just that one photo and my auntie said “don’t ever contact me again”
(Extra Information)
I don’t know if this is helpful information but my mum is very self-conscious about what pictures she has on Facebook, She has body images issues and she is a abuse survivor (physical and sexually and emotionally, mentally abuse, she has had it all) My auntie knows this
Are we in the wrong? Please let us know… she is refusing to contact my mum ❤️💖🥰😍
(Edit)
Thank you so much guys for all the NTAs… you’re all so amazing and my mum is more confident with her decision… I want you guys to also know my mum tried to move on with the situation with her and she went to her house and they were having a nice time and I was there…. We got dinner and they having a nice chat, laughing and giggling then she brought up that she wasn’t sure she have enough money on her for the taxi we were getting because the taxi service doesn’t use card and my mum has anxiety so she was worried about this so she asked to discuss it and they talked it though and my auntie said “She thought she maybe did have some money on her after all” Because my mum was going to go to the shop and get money because auntie’s walking is bad, My mum said “she needs some toilet rolls awhile she is there” and my auntie said “She could give her a toliet roll”, My mum said thank you so much I need to do a food shop, she then went nuts at my mum, she was shouting at my mum calling her “Selfish”and saying “No one talks like this”, “No one behaves like you” and my mum said “There is no reason to be rude”and my mum said “She didn’t mean to make a food shop now… “She meant later, my auntie said: “She wasn’t being rude” and she was getting in my mum’s face… Then my auntie said “My mum ruined her whole week”, my mum said “Ihaven’t ruined this week if you are on about the photo… I just messaged you kindly to ask you to take it down” then my auntie said “It’s got you and your “son” in it” and my mum said “I don’t care who is in it I don’t want it online”, My auntie then said “Well you put lots of other shit online” (which is not true) Then my auntie has said she has show the picture to other people who my mum doesn’t know and didn’t agree to seeing it to ask if this is okay to post online and they said “Yes…“ But that doesn’t matter it’s a picture of my mum and she doesn’t want it online, She then went into her bedroom and I was there… She was shouting her head off and she was trying to get me to side with her even tho she had abused me in the past emotionally and made me cry, My mum called me out of there to protect me and help me get my shoes on, she then send the information for the dinner which is what they do every time they order.. And my auntie started to scream: “Getting every penny are ya? So we left and we haven’t heard from her since”, She still thinks she is in the right… And my mum has contacted her unless she apologises we won’t contact her again and she hasn’t been in touch
submitted by HollyLouise56 to MarkNarrations [link] [comments]
(Extra Information)
I don’t know if this is helpful information but my mum is very self-conscious about what pictures she has on Facebook, She has body images issues and she is a abuse survivor (physical and sexually and emotionally, mentally abuse, she has had it all) My auntie knows this
Are we in the wrong? Please let us know… she is refusing to contact my mum ❤️💖🥰😍
(Edit)
Thank you so much guys for all the NTAs… you’re all so amazing and my mum is more confident with her decision… I want you guys to also know my mum tried to move on with the situation with her and she went to her house and they were having a nice time and I was there…. We got dinner and they having a nice chat, laughing and giggling then she brought up that she wasn’t sure she have enough money on her for the taxi we were getting because the taxi service doesn’t use card and my mum has anxiety so she was worried about this so she asked to discuss it and they talked it though and my auntie said “She thought she maybe did have some money on her after all” Because my mum was going to go to the shop and get money because auntie’s walking is bad, My mum said “she needs some toilet rolls awhile she is there” and my auntie said “She could give her a toliet roll”, My mum said thank you so much I need to do a food shop, she then went nuts at my mum, she was shouting at my mum calling her “Selfish”and saying “No one talks like this”, “No one behaves like you” and my mum said “There is no reason to be rude”and my mum said “She didn’t mean to make a food shop now… “She meant later, my auntie said: “She wasn’t being rude” and she was getting in my mum’s face… Then my auntie said “My mum ruined her whole week”, my mum said “Ihaven’t ruined this week if you are on about the photo… I just messaged you kindly to ask you to take it down” then my auntie said “It’s got you and your “son” in it” and my mum said “I don’t care who is in it I don’t want it online”, My auntie then said “Well you put lots of other shit online” (which is not true) Then my auntie has said she has show the picture to other people who my mum doesn’t know and didn’t agree to seeing it to ask if this is okay to post online and they said “Yes…“ But that doesn’t matter it’s a picture of my mum and she doesn’t want it online, She then went into her bedroom and I was there… She was shouting her head off and she was trying to get me to side with her even tho she had abused me in the past emotionally and made me cry, My mum called me out of there to protect me and help me get my shoes on, she then send the information for the dinner which is what they do every time they order.. And my auntie started to scream: “Getting every penny are ya? So we left and we haven’t heard from her since”, She still thinks she is in the right… And my mum has contacted her unless she apologises we won’t contact her again and she hasn’t been in touch
2023.12.27 01:55 Negative_Shake1478 Grandma won’t stop nitpicking
Had Christmas at my aunts house. Within a couple hours I get the
“you have a potty mouth”
from grandma. Which she complained about at thanksgiving. Not the only one cussing and not the worst of the cussers in the family. Apparently it’ll make me less attractive to find a significant other. :/ like ok whatever. But then immediately gets on me again when I’m not the only one.
Next day it’s that I’m lazing about bra-less. Cuz nipples are now offensive. Put the bra on to try and avoid a fight. Hated it, sent me into sensory overload. Christmas morning as I passed grandma in the hall to the bathroom and she comments about putting the girls away to be decent. I snap a bit:
“oh no! I have nipples!! How BOLD OF ME!”
Thankfully she didn’t directly say anything again. But she did make a comment later when her pj shirt wasn’t fully buttoned of:
“oh that’s ok everything under here is properly covered” while side eyeing me.
And I won’t hear the “oh that’s just her age group” bull. She’s only in her late 60s/early 70s. She’s a young grandma, and everyone else did not care. It feels like she’s been targeting me for lack of a significant other or less people to defend me. Especially since no one else had heard these comments for the most part nor had the background knowledge to know how she was being.
Thankfully afterwards that when other family heard about what she was up to they were on my side. Auntie is gonna talk to her, as she was unpleasant to be around overall this weekend, and made remarks about or to the other family members, but I feel like she just got on to me the most.
Thanks for reading if you’ve made it this far!
submitted by Negative_Shake1478 to venting [link] [comments]
“you have a potty mouth”
from grandma. Which she complained about at thanksgiving. Not the only one cussing and not the worst of the cussers in the family. Apparently it’ll make me less attractive to find a significant other. :/ like ok whatever. But then immediately gets on me again when I’m not the only one.
Next day it’s that I’m lazing about bra-less. Cuz nipples are now offensive. Put the bra on to try and avoid a fight. Hated it, sent me into sensory overload. Christmas morning as I passed grandma in the hall to the bathroom and she comments about putting the girls away to be decent. I snap a bit:
“oh no! I have nipples!! How BOLD OF ME!”
Thankfully she didn’t directly say anything again. But she did make a comment later when her pj shirt wasn’t fully buttoned of:
“oh that’s ok everything under here is properly covered” while side eyeing me.
And I won’t hear the “oh that’s just her age group” bull. She’s only in her late 60s/early 70s. She’s a young grandma, and everyone else did not care. It feels like she’s been targeting me for lack of a significant other or less people to defend me. Especially since no one else had heard these comments for the most part nor had the background knowledge to know how she was being.
Thankfully afterwards that when other family heard about what she was up to they were on my side. Auntie is gonna talk to her, as she was unpleasant to be around overall this weekend, and made remarks about or to the other family members, but I feel like she just got on to me the most.
Thanks for reading if you’ve made it this far!