Im starting to love you quotes

Hey there!
like the title says I'm looking for my best friend, someone I can vibe with and talk to about anything never feeling judged or uncomfortable about it. someone I can watch movies with, joke around with go get some amazing food with and just genuinely enjoy our time together!
Honestly I would love for it to blossom into something romantic at some point however I want there to be a strong connection and friendship first and foremost.
You're probably wondering a bit about me so here's some quick info - I am a father to a beautiful 4 year old girl, I have a stable job and work from home, I have my own place too! I like to play PC games (wow, league, apex, POE to name a few), I love to cook and miss having someone to cook for, I love all animals and recently really got into fish keeping. as for movies I usually tend to watch comedies or thrillers as my main go-tos but happy to watch anything with the right person. as you can probably tell I'm a bit of a nerd which is very true so almost anything nerdy I'll probably like haha.
Physically I'm 6ft tall, and on the chubbier side of a dad body and while I do embrace the dad bod, as I am a dad, I am working on that by going to the gym and trying to live a healthier lifestyle as I want to stay active to keep up with my kiddo.
If this has peaked your interests and you'd like to talk more, please feel free to shoot me a message on here and I'll get back to you as fast as I can. Maybe start by letting me know the last thing that made you smile, and why? :)

so i thought i was a trans man. turns out i'm a non-binary lesbian:) yay for me! i love being a lesbian with every fiber of my being. it just feels so right. it's the only label that ever felt good and i'm so happy to be coming back home to that identity. i was on T for 2.5 years and i had top surgery. i don't regret my transition and top surgery is still the single greatest thing i ever did for myself. but due to the gender dysphoria caused by being perceived as a man, i am detransitioning. it's been about a month since i've been off T. not a lot has changed but, that's to be expected. i long for being perceived as butch but i know it will take some time. if you've gone through this journey too, i'd love to hear from you. when did you start to feel like yourself again? how long did it take you to feel comfortable in your skin?

Im only 19M and im already tired of talking with people and getting to know new people.
Usually im a very sociable person, and i love to talk with new people, and lately i started talking with a co-worker, we been getting a long well, we have a lot in common and we went to lunch together 3 or 4 times and the last time we talked about relationships, where she said she never found someone that was good to her and was tired about that.
While we were talking i said that she was a nice girl to be with and i was liking what we was having, until she said that she only saw me as a friend and i was crazy for trying to be with her because she has redflags.
We continued talking and texting, but i feel i need to iniciate everything even texting and its getting tired at the point i want to ghost her, because im only getting dry ass responses.
But being honest is always the same with everyone i talk, "you are a great person and everything but i only see you as a friend", i only accept and move on, but lately is hard and hard.
Everytime i think if its me that is doing something wrong.

Hey there!
like the title says I'm looking for my best friend, someone I can vibe with and talk to about anything never feeling judged or uncomfortable about it. someone I can watch movies with, joke around with go get some amazing food with and just genuinely enjoy our time together!
Honestly I would love for it to blossom into something romantic at some point however I want there to be a strong connection and friendship first and foremost.
You're probably wondering a bit about me so here's some quick info - I am a father to a beautiful 4 year old girl, I have a stable job and work from home, I have my own place too! I like to play PC games (wow, league, apex, POE to name a few), I love to cook and miss having someone to cook for, I love all animals and recently really got into fish keeping. as for movies I usually tend to watch comedies or thrillers as my main go-tos but happy to watch anything with the right person. as you can probably tell I'm a bit of a nerd which is very true so almost anything nerdy I'll probably like haha.
Physically I'm 6ft tall, and on the chubbier side of a dad body and while I do embrace the dad bod, as I am a dad, I am working on that by going to the gym and trying to live a healthier lifestyle as I want to stay active to keep up with my kiddo.
If this has peaked your interests and you'd like to talk more, please feel free to shoot me a message on here and I'll get back to you as fast as I can. Maybe start by letting me know the last thing that made you smile, and why? :)

It was an early morning in the Border Collie Household. The sun was just beginning to peek through the curtains, casting a warm glow into the living room where Mackenzie, Minnie, and Little Mack were sitting, looking rather bored.
Mackenzie, the eldest of the three siblings, let out a sigh as he tossed his stuffed Bilby, Billy, up in the air and caught it repeatedly. "I'm so bored," he grumbled, glancing over at his younger siblings.
Minnie, her bright eyes filled with mischief, grinned mischievously. "I know! Let's go bug Mom and Dad until they play with us!"
Little Mack's face lit up at the suggestion. "Yeah! That sounds like fun!"
“Alright, alright. Let's go see what they're up to." Mackenzie said as he placed Billy next to Bandido and lead his siblings out of his room and to the kitchen.
Meanwhile in the kitchen, Hunter and Queen were in the kitchen, having just finished the coffee they made a couple of minutes before.
“Honey?” Queen called.
“Yeah babe?” Hunter asked.
“What’s your stopwatch say?” Queen asked. Hunter looked at the stopwatch on the table next to them.
“12:22.” Hunter said. The two of them looked at each other for five seconds and then smirked.
“Three...two...one.” They both counted down. As they reached "one," Mackenzie, Minnie, and Little Mack burst into the kitchen, their faces filled with excitement.
"We're bored!" Minnie declared dramatically, throwing herself onto one of the kitchen chairs. “Can you play with us?”
“I don’t see why not.” Hunter answered as he turned to face the three. “What game do you wanna play?”
That was the thing. They didn’t exactly know what they wanted to play. Queen glanced at Hunter with a mischievous twinkle in her eye.
"I have an idea," she said, her lips curling into a playful grin. "How about we play... Smoochy Tag?"
“Smoochy Tag? Now THAT is a game I haven’t played in a long time.” Hunter said with a laugh.
“What’s smoochy tag?” Little Mack asked.
“It’s like normal tag, but you have to smooch someone to tag them. When you tag them, they help you tag the others. It’s really fun!” Mackenzie said as his tail wagged a bit.
“I’ll be it first. Mackenzie, can you pick a number between one and ten?” Queen asked. Mackenzie paused for a moment.
“Seven!” Mackenzie said happily.
“Seven.” Queen repeated, then she smirked. “Six…Five…Four-”
Realizing she was counting down, Hunter and the kids took off running. Hunter opened the front door and ran out of the house with the laughing children. Queen reached one and then grabbed her coffee mug.
“I’ll just finish this first.” She stated while also putting Hunter’s mug in the sink.
After a couple of seconds of running, the four of them stopped for a moment and looked around.
“We need to hide.” Hunter said as he looked around.
“But where?” Mackenzie asked. That’s when they heard a door open, they all turned to see Bandit standing at the opening.
“Oh, morning Border Collies!” Bandit said with a wave.
“Morning Bluey’s Dad, can we hide in your house?” Mackenzie asked. Bandit raised an eyebrow almost immediately, leaving Hunter to clarify.
“We’re playing a game and Queen is it.” Hunter told him.
“Say no more, c’mon in.” Bandit said almost immediately, opening the door a little bit more for them. The four Border Collies ran inside and Bandit closed the door, looking through the peephole.
“Sorry to involve you in our game Bandit.” Hunter told him. Bandit turned to him and waved it away.
“No worries, we do that to our neighbor Pat all the time. Looks like karma finally caught up.” Bandit said, he then walked away from the door. “What game are you playing?”
“We call it smoochy tag.” Hunter said, that’s when the doorbell rang. Bandit walked over to open it and saw that no one was there.
“Huh, no one. Weird.” Bandit said before closing the door and walking back to Hunter. “What’s Smoochy tag?”
“Basically a cross between tag and playing zombies, but a kiss is how you tag the others.” Hunter answered. The doorbell rang again. Bandit opened the door and looked around this time, again, seeing no one.
“Kids playing ding dong ditch?” Hunter asked. Bandit closed the door and walked back over.
“Probably.” Bandit said as Chilli walked into the room.
“Who’s dinging the doorbell?” Chilli asked.
“Probably the kids.” Bandit said. That was before he saw Bluey and Bingo hiding Mackenzie and Little Mack somewhere in the living room, and then hearing the doorbell again. “Okay, definitely not the kids.”This time, Hunter walked over to the door to open it, and when he did, Queen grabbed his arm and pulled him outside.
“Gotcha! C’mere you!” Queen smirked as she attempted to pull him into a kiss. However, Bandit and Chilli grabbed Hunter to pull him into the house, joining the game.
“Not so fast!” Bandit said as he pulled Hunter into the house. Chilli also pulled, whilst chuckling.
“It’s not gonna be that easy.” Chilli told her. Queen continued trying to kiss Hunter, but Hunter was pulled away and Chilli got a cushion to poke Queen back out of the house. “Out, out with ya.”
With Queen back out of the house, Chilli closed the door. Chilli wiped her brow with a ‘phew’ and looked at Bandit.
“What was that all about?” Chilli asked.
“It’s a game called Smoochy Tag.” Bandit told her.
“Sounds fun, I’ll ask the kids if they wanna play.” Chilli said as she walked to the living room. Bandit looked at Hunter with wide eyes.
“Run upstairs, quick.” Bandit told him. Hunter nodded and ran upstairs with Bandit. Chilli walked to the living room where she saw Bingo hiding Little Mack behind the plant.
"Hey, Bingo," Chilli said with a warm smile. "Are you and your new friend playing Smoochy Tag too?"
Bingo looked up from her hiding spot with a wide grin. "Yeah, Mum! We're helping hide Little Mack from his mum."
“Well guess what, your dad and I are playing too. But I need to know the rules first.” Chilli said as he kneeled down to Little Mack’s height. “Can you tell me the rules?”
Little Mack got out from under the table and began to explain the rules of the game.
“It’s like normal tag, but you have to smooch someone to tag them. When you tag them, they help you tag the others. Mackenzie says it’s really fun.” Little Mack answers. Chilli tapped her chin.
“Smooch someone, like this?” Chilli asked, placing a kiss on Little Mack’s forehead. Little Mack giggled.
“Yes, exactly like that.” Little Mack said.
“Good. Looks like we’re helping your mom now.” Chilli said, revealing she made herself it when she played the game. Which also meant she that Little Mack was also it. Much to the four year old’s playful disappointment.
“Aw bugger.” Little Mack said. Then both of them turned to Bingo. She quickly turned around to run.
“Quick, let’s get her!” Chilli exclaimed as she and Little Mack ran after her. The moment they were out of the living room, Bluey and Mackenzie ran out from behind the couch and ran to the backyard where they got cut off by Queen.
“Going somewhere?” She teased before running after them. Bluey and Mackenzie playfully screamed before running back inside. Queen ran after them and was gaining on them pretty quickly. She would’ve caught up if it wasn’t for Minnie running in front of her, running away from Bingo who was also running away from Chilli and Little Mack. Switching targets, Queen grabbed Minnie and kissed her forehead.“No!” Minnie exclaimed while laughing. Bingo was gonna run past, but Queen grabbed her too and kissed her on the forehead as well. Now the only ones left were Mackenzie, Bluey, Hunter and Bandit. Bluey and Mackenzie were seen running up stairs. Upstairs, the hallway presented several doors, providing ample hiding spots. Bluey gestured excitedly to the linen closet. "Quick, hide in here!" she whispered urgently to Mackenzie.
Mackenzie nodded, running into the closet with Bluey. Bluey closed the door, while Hunter and Bandit veered into the Heeler bedroom just as they heard footsteps approaching. Inside the linen closet, Bluey and Mackenzie huddled together, barely able to contain their giggles. Bluey put a finger to her lips, motioning for Mackenzie to stay quiet as they listened to the footsteps draw closer. They held their breath as the footsteps walked towards them, stopped, and then walked away from them. Allowing them to let out a sigh of relief.
In the bedroom, Hunter and Bandit were both were under the bed, and practically arguing with each other silently.
“Find your own hiding spot!” Bandit whisper yelled to him.
“I don’t know this house! This is the best I can do!” Hunter replied. The two of them where still arguing when Queen and Chilli walked into the room, and from the footsteps abruptly stopping, they more than likely got found out.
“You think they heard us?” Bandit asked. Suddenly, Hunter’s ankles were grabbed and he was yanked out from under the bed. Bandit’s wrists were grabbed and he was pulled out as well. When they were out, they realized that the other’s wife had pulled them out. Bandit was pulled out by Queen and Hunter was pulled out by Chilli. The two ladies looked at each other, smirked, nodded and switched locations, kissing their husbands to tag them.
“And then there were two.” Hunter said as he stood up looking out in the hall.
“I heard whispering in the closet before walking in here.” Chilli said as she pointed to the linen closet. Queen and Hunter started to walk towards that door and counted backwards from three before opening the door and seeing….nothing.
“Huh?” Queen questioned. Inside Bluey’s room, Mackenzie and Bluey were sneaking back down the stairs and was making their way to the playroom. On the way there, Mackenzie accidentally bumped into one of the dressers and knocked over the lamp. Mackenzie was fast enough to catch the lamp before it could hit the ground.
“That was close.” Mackenzie said in relief.
“He’s downstairs!” Little Mack exclaimed, having heard him. Mackenzie put the lamp back and he and Bluey ran out to the backyard. Little Mack was the first to go outside to try and catch at least one of them. Minnie ran outside too and both were going straight for Mackenzie, who was not too keen with getting caught so he kept dodging and juking them like he was playing a game of rugby. Bluey on the other hand was running from Bingo and ran right into Bandit who picked her up and kissed her on the nose.
“Gotcha Bluey!” Bandit told her. He then looked at Mackenzie who juked Little Mack and made him run into Minnie. Mackenzie was gonna run back inside, but Hunter was guarding the door. “Let’s get em Bluey.”
Mackenzie turned around and Queen was blocking his path back.
“Where’re you gonna go now mate?” Hunter asked him. Mackenzie looked right and saw Bandit and Bluey walking towards him.
“Going left!” Mackenzie said as he ran left. He was gonna run down the left side of the house to go to the front yard, but the moment he ran around the corner, Chilli was right there. Mackenzie turned around to run again, but he was grabbed by Hunter, who jumped over the railing the moment he went around the corner. Mackenzie laughed as he was caught, squirming playfully in Hunter's grasp.
"Nice try, buddy." Hunter chuckled before planting a kiss on his son’s forehead, ending the game. “Man, you’re getting faster kid.”
"You're not too bad yourself, Dad." Mackenzie replied, his tail wagging happily. "That was so much fun!"
"You did great, champ," Hunter said, ruffling Mackenzie's hair. "But all that running around has made me hungry, lets go get brunch.”
Mackenzie's stomach growled in agreement, and he nodded eagerly. "Yeah, brunch sounds awesome!"
Chilli and Bandit looked at each other and then nodded before turning back over to the Border Collies.
“Would you like to stay for Brunch?” Chilli asked them.
"That sounds lovely," Queen replied with a smile, glancing at Hunter for confirmation.
Hunter nodded, returning the smile. "Yeah, we'd love to stay. Thanks for the invitation."
Chilli beamed. "Great! Let's head to the kitchen then. I'll whip up something delicious for all of us."
“Allow me to help.” Queen said as she and Chilli walked upstairs to the kitchen. Hunter and Bandit played with the kids to keep them occupied. s they all made their way to the kitchen, the Border Collies chatted happily, their laughter filling the air. Hunter and Bandit found themselves engaged in a playful game of catch with Mackenzie, Bluey, Minnie, and Little Mack, while Queen and Chilli worked together to prepare brunch.
In the kitchen, Queen and Chilli shared stories and laughter as they cooked, enjoying each other's company. Queen expertly cracked eggs into a bowl while Chilli chopped vegetables for an omelet. The aroma of sizzling bacon filled the air, making everyone's stomachs growl in anticipation.
Meanwhile, downstairs, Hunter and Bandit continued their game with the kids, tossing a ball back and forth and dodging around the furniture. Mackenzie's tail wagged furiously as he chased after the ball, his laughter echoing through the house.
As brunch neared completion, Queen and Chilli set the table with plates, utensils, and glasses of freshly squeezed orange juice. The tantalizing smell of food wafted through the house, drawing everyone to the kitchen.
With everything ready, they all gathered around the table, exchanging smiles and stories as they enjoyed the delicious brunch together. Plates were filled with fluffy omelets, crispy bacon, and buttery toast, and the conversation flowed effortlessly as they savored the meal.
Later on, Queen and Chilli were playing with the kids as Hunter and Bandit were on the balcony watching them as they played, drinking some soda as they watched.
“Made quite the first impression you know.” Bandit said to Hunter, who chuckled.
“Sweet as, Bandit. You know I was a bit skeptical about the move but now...” Hunter responded, watching as Bluey playfully managed to tackle Mackenzie to the ground. “..I think I made the right choice.”
“While I don’t doubt that mate, I’m sure we’ll see.” Bandit told him.
“Yeah…we’ll see.” Hunter replied. Soon, it was time for the Border Collies to head home and the Heelers waved goodbye to them as they walked off.
“You know, I think I like our new neighbors.” Chilli said to her family.
“Will they be back to play again?” Bingo asked her dad. Bandit smiled and watched the Border Collies walk off.
“We’ll see.”

I'm jut in such a bad place today. I have a non verbal 3 year old and a 1 year old who will probably be diagnosed and also have a significant speech delay.
Both kids scream A LOT. Both having sleeping issues. Both are extremely energetic. The 3 year old doesn't listen to directions.
All my family members have NT kids and do not understand how challenging things can be. I will have a good day and then the next feel extremely overwhelmed and hopeless. I feel guilty for having another before our first started showing signs.I wanted to be a mom more than anything and while my kids are amazing this is not what I had imagined. It's so hard not to feel like it's my fault that this happened when it's not happening to any one else.
If it gets easier I'd love to hear your stories....if it doesn't I'm so sorry but I don't think I can hear about that right now.
Thank you for the support!

hey guys loll I'm 16 and recently started wearing more feminine clothes because I think they're super cute and I feel great in them. There's just something about skirts, cute tops, and dresses that makes me really happy. I don't wear makeup, and my hair is pretty short, so I didn't expect people to see me differently. But now, almost everyone is mistaking me for a girl! At first, I tried correcting them, but it got kind of tiring, so I just stopped. It doesn't bother me too much; it's just a bit weird and funny sometimes. I'm not transgender or anything; I just really like girls' clothes. Has anyone else had this happen to them? How did you deal with it? Did you just go with the flow, or did you find a nice way to let people know without making it a big deal? I'd love to hear your stories and advice!

So I just got my second divorce, from narcissist #2. I was raised by narcissists as well. Lucky me, I'm also on disability. I moved back to my hometown because I'm just tired at this point, and had no where else to go. My parents are elderly, and everyone assumes I moved back here to "take care of them", and go all "Awww, aren't you a good daughter". Hello, I'm in my 60's, used to be a licensed professional, and now I'm disabled and alone, all I am is "a good daughter"? WTF. How special.
Frankly, I'm so Gdarn tired of starting over. I have no energy for it this time. I'd love some inspiration. Everyone is asking me what do you like? What is your passion? Follow your dreams! UGH. I've been in therapy for years, that's what finally got me out of my train wreck of a marriage. Even my therapist is asking me, what do you love? Right now, I just want to be left alone. If I could, I'd be the weird woman in a cottage in the woods with wild hair and animals for friends. Unfortunately, I have to live in a condo because I can't mow my own lawn. I'm surrounded by busy bodies who frown because I turn down their group lunch invitations. Just shoot me before I go to one of those. I don't give a good Gdarn who's going on a cruise, or who's getting a new car. Or who's going to what church, I'm an atheist. I'm lucky I can go to the dentist or buy some meat, or put gas in my hand-me-down car. I can't even put up a bird feeder in these condos, it's against the rules. Watching birds would keep me and my cats occupied for hours before.
I know it's going to be a miracle, but does anyone have a similar experience and they can tell me it gets better? I'm staring down the next twenty years watching my parents getting more and more sick, but telling me I can't help them, and I'm going to age as well. I don't want to just get old, more sick, then die! Right now I've got my cats, a convertible when I can afford to gas it up, a running everyday car, and a green thumb. I'm growing plants on my deck, and have plenty of houseplants. I can also make quilts when I'm feeling good. And, I love to cook and read.
Do I just amuse myself with those things for the next 20 or so years? And keep the biddies at arm's length? Is that all there is?

Maybe its just bad luck on my end. I've been a wow player for 10+ years and I decided to give classic a go 2 weeks ago or so. I've never run into so many toxic players, at least nowhere near this many in retail. I'll give the most recent scenario. I was leveling my bdk and I got into a dungeon, and a druid dps went bear form and started pulling the whole dungeon. He was with another guildmate and they decided after the first boss to kick me and all I said was "if you want to tank you should queue as a tank". I had waited like 15 mins for that queue to pop to, even as a tank. I've run into multiple instances of similar scenarios minus the getting kicked. Also for some reason, a lot of the druid dps decide they want to tank in bear form. I'm also not a bad tank, i do solid pulls, enough to not make the healer wanna commit sepuku and keep the dungeon moving.
I know every mmo/online game has its toxic players, including retail, but I feel like I run into less "toxic" players in M+ runs than I do in leveling dungeons in classic. Again, maybe just bad luck (for the record I'm alliance). I don't want to throw shade at a whole community for a small portion of the player base. However the higher level I get the worse things get, and I've heard from multiple friends that classic players are incredibly toxic. I'm loving classic, but running into these players sometimes even back to back to back is making my interest in going further incredibly thin.

(Im sorry if my english is bad) For starters me (19M) and my best friend (18M) have known eachother since birth. We are both in a friend group that resulted from all of our parents being friends with eachother. The group consists of us two, another guy (19M) and two girls (18F) and (19F). We all grew up very close in Russia, however I am ukrainian. We went to school together, went on vacations together and generally were all doing everything together. Not long ago, when picking out collages, my best friend was telling me about how he wishes he could stay in Russia and how he cant because of some reasons I will not share here, and so naturally I offered that I could go to college with him in another country. Fast forward a few months later we both got into a pretty good collage in Finland. Now about our backround basically my best friend is very close with one of the girls in the group but they both stated that they do not like eachother and if you ask me, they didnt seem to have any kind of spark between eachother. However he was also very close to the other guy in the group. By close I mean that they literally acted like a couple. Whenever we would have school summer camps they would share a bed and sometimes I would even catch them cuddle, they would hug a lot etc. and generally make a lot of jokes about being gay for eachoter and liking eachother. You should know that my best friend is extremely handsome, I mean like model handsome. He is tall, not too muscular and not too skinny, pale skin, green eyes, soft blonde hair and very beautiful features. He looks so beautiful from every single angle, he looks beautiful while he sleeps, when he laughs, when he cries and is probably the most beautiful person I have ever met in my entire life. Despite that, he has never been in a relationship. A lot of girls have liked him in the past but he rejected them and he is pretty popular on social media and gets praised for his looks online as well. Aside from his looks he is also very smart. He is passionated about history and linguistics, he is good at maths and in general he is a very cultured person. He is very kind, funny, loving and has this sensitive side that he doesnt show too often. He just lights up the room everytime even though he is not that kind of positive and happy person you would imagine. He has gone through a lot in his childhood, things that I will not mention. On his 18th birthday, some things happened and I was lucky enough to be in time to stop them, which resulted into him bursting in tears in my arms and telling me how he feels about his life. A lot of time has passed since that event. Now we share an apartament here in Finland and go to college together. He seems happier, or maybe since he doesn’t spend that much time alone anymore he is just distracting himself from all the things he was going through. It is currently risky for me to go back in my home country and so I usually just go to Russia together with him on holidays. I am really enjoying all the time spent with him and I have never felt happier for such a long period of time. Recently he started hanging out with another guy from the same college and not going to lie but I feel kind of jealous. Since then I started to question my feelings for him. I never pictured myself or him actually being gay, let alone together in a relationship. I feel scared and nervous. My mother and her boyfriend will definitely hate me more than they already do and my father will probably think Im a disappointment. I feel as if I am betraying my religion and my identity but at the same time I feel so happy with this man. And here comes the biggest problem of all, what if after all he isnt gay and I will ruin our friendship. Yesterday night he went over to the new guys house.The guy likes him, he told me, asking for advice and more things about my best friend. I was kind of mad that I didnt get invited too, especially when he knows how close we are. Before going, I acted kind of rude towards him, which I regret, but he brushed it off and just left. Later at night when he came home, I was already in bed, pretending to sleep. I heard him change and get straight into his bed. A few moments later he started crying. He was crying very badly and I could tell he was trying to keep quiet. I dont know if anything happened there or if he was crying about my response or about his past because I simply didnt get up or have any kind of reaction, which again, I regret. I tried talking to him today in the morning, I didnt tell him I heard how he cried, I just acted normal, and although he wasnt his usual self, he didnt act sad or anything. I dont know wether I should or should not ask him about last night. And most importantly I dont know if I should tell him about my feelings for him and explain the situation.

Warning this story contains sexual assault, i wil not be describing this, there is also mention of mental abuse (i don't really know what to call it, i'm sorry)
My ex-boyfriend(27m) Jason and i (26f) have been broken up for 4 years, yes, we broke up during the pandemic however it was a long time coming. We stayed friends, as we have a lot of friends in common and frequently meet up. Over time i have come to a conclusion that i don't want to be near him anymore and need help or advice on what to do with our mutual friends.
I''l give you a bit of history. We were together for 4 years, so when we were about 17-18. Both of us have a tumultuous history and when we met, we bonded over that. It is important to the story i share a bit of my history, i was sexually assaulted when i was a child and had kept it to myself until i was about 17, my healing proces started around the same time(i have ptsd). Jason went throug an abusive relationship, this is all i'm going to say as it is not mine to share. Both of us needed help, we held on to eachother, i became what he needed. He tried to help but i guess he got lost. He manipulated, sexually assaulted, raped me and made me believe i was at fault for it. He compared me to his ex, who was always compared to a contolling monster, it made me feel like i was one. He counted the amount of days we didn't have sex to say that he was great for not cheating, reiterating that he is a great person for putting up with my trauma and problems. I don't want to say i was a perfect person, i can only imagine it is difficult to have a partner with my baggage. I'm also not saying it was all bad or that i think he is a monster but he left me with more trauma than i started with. Even though i only came to this realisation after we broke up.
When we broke up we decided that we would stay friends, after al we never fought. I've know my friends since i was about 12 years old, Jason became a part of that friendgroep when we started dating. My friends are my family, they are amasing people, who i never want to lose. Jason is a guy that will let you feel if he thinks you of lesser intelligence. He has people in our group where he thinks himself better because he is more intelligent. In my opinion he takes whatever he reads and accepts it as his own opinion, he often does not speak in nuance or his own expirience, or with enough reliable sources. For example he thought it was not hard to get a vasectomy for woman, or at least just as hard for men with just as much consequenses. (idiot) Please don't take this as fully true, i might just have short sight where he is concerned.
Let's get to where i need help. Around Christmass this year a couple in our friendgroup broke up, it was a rough time for them and they leaned on their friends for help, obviously. It got heated cause one of them was moving on with a different person from our group while the other wanted to hold on to their relationship. At one point jason needed to take a step back, because he cound't handle being in between the two camp, which i understand, one of them was going throug heavy mental struggles.
When he decided to take a step back from the situation i reached out to him, to check up on him, cause i knew he sometimes struggled with this kind of stuff. In the last couple of years we never really talked, i really stuggled with being "nice" , this is in quotation cause i can be quit passive agressive towards him. i see his red flags more than others maybe?
We started talking about how we handled our break up and how it was easier for us cause of the pandemic, we didn't need to see eachother. He started to talkabout maybe dating again soon and i playfully, not really playfully give him advice. I quote 'Maybe don't count the days you don't have sex, comparing them to you're horrible ex, just some advice haha' he immidiatly confirmed the dick move. This started a conversation where he admitted and apologized for raping me and abusing me, his words. He admitted to being abusive! I cound't believ it, i never thought he would realise what he did let alone admit this to me. I can't tell you how relieved i was, i never talked to anybody exept my psycholigist. I din't feel like i had the right to tell our friends cause WE decided we were friends, i didn't want to come off as a scorned ex, i didn't think they would believe me. Maybe they would think i was just seeing the bad things and exagerating. After the converstation we decided to meet and have a face to face conversation. A lot of crying and me saying it to his face that he raped me during our 4 year relationship i felt drained. He also gave me 'permission' to talk to our friends about it.
Before i wanted to share with them i needed to breath again, in my life i go though shit and i need moment to just be able to really relatavize things. Just two days after our conversation he texted to meet up again, he needed tot talk to me... I panicked and immidiently said yes, i thought he was going to take everything back and say i overeacted, that i was at fault, which i was definetly not. We met, he wanted to know what i meant by guilt.... WTF, what do you mean? Guilt, yes you are guilty, you did this, maybe not with violence but i said no, you did it anyways, dickhead. No, he wanted me to tell him i don't think he is a rapist now, or i don't think he is a monster. And while yes, i don't think he is a bad guy or a monster, he was to me in that time. He might have changed. I think he did, he's admittance is prove of that. Let me tell you tho i yelled at this man, why do you need me to help you deal with this, you did this to me and now you want to play victim to me. Poor you, you raped me? I told him to leave me alone, that i needed him to not involve me in this cause i can't. Again he is making me feel bad because something that happened between us harms him.
It has been a month and last week was the first time i told my girlfriends, who are part of this friendgroup, what a relieve. They told me in no uncertain terms that they believed me and that i get to make decision in if i'm comfertable with him around me, i love them. They both have reached out to me if i need totalk about it they are here for me. They have also expressed disgust haha.
I'm not planning on not sharing what happened between us with my friends, i always felt like a burden by sharing but i need support and i'm learning that they want to be there for me. A couple of others know and they are also there for me, whatever i need.
Now here is where i need your advice. I don't want my friends to feel like they need to not be friends with him. I decided that i don't want him near me anymore, the way that second conversation went really striked me the wrong way, i'm done with him. Now i know he is not a monster, he is a different Jason to me than he is for the others. He was a best man at the wedding of my bestfriends, he was there for them when they have had a difficult time, i don't want them to feel ike i want them out of their lives for me. A lot of us view our friendship as family, i don't want them to lose that. What do i do? How do i handle this? I need help, i need any advice you can give me.
Thank you for reading, also English is not my first language, i appoligize for any weird mistakes.
Again thank you.

So last year we bought our house and fenced in the yard with a chain link fence so our dogs can run. It’s been great. I don’t love the lack of privacy in suburbia though so I’ve been doing research on climbing plants for the past year and it’s been honestly a bit inconclusive. I’ve been planning a garden for the first time and now my reddit feed has all turned to gardening.. I thought maybe I could find some help. So..
NEED
-Non toxic to dogs
I’m very anxious about this even though our dogs only really occasionally snack on grass, I know they will consume a not-0% of this plant matter. Causes digestive upset? Ok. Risk of seizures? Too much risk. I’ve been using the ASPCA’s website on this, but it doesn’t have a lot of the plants I’m looking at. Trying to do individual research has has mixed results.
-Will climb the chain link fence
It’s 5 feet tall, and goes down a slope. The bottom of the slope is kind of swampy when it rains.
-Will grow as perennial in Canada, zone 5.
US zone like 4 i think? We are just an hr from the border with Maine. The chain link fence connects to the side of our house though, so could you guys warn me if something is going to eat my house? thanks
WANTS
-privacy(foliage) for maximum months
-Edible?
-if nothing perennial,i’ll have to consider a fast growing annual. I didn’t want to replant the fenceline every year, though..
So, I’ve ruled out a lot of things. Our local nursery has tons of clematis but that’s very toxic. Honeysuckle, grapes, hops, trumpet vine, wisteria - all ruled out as toxic.
Still on the table as options Im doing more research on: -Roses? I am not crazy about the idea of thorns all over our backyard and fence, but how much is that really true from those of you who have actually grown them? What kind could I grow on a 5ft chain link? Any thornless kinds?
-Kiwi varieties? I’ve started seeing that you can grow kiwis in my zone (I’m shocked, they seemed tropical to me). I’ve seen that the skin and seems are mostly non toxic for dogs but nothing conclusive on the plant. Could kiwis actually grow on my fence? Regardless of if they’re good, eating kiwis haha.
I’ve been researching for a year and asked real people at my local nursery. I’m going a lil crazy. Maybe I just come around on roses?

My ex and I had this wonderful relationship, long distance for 2 Months where we both loved eachother very much, it was not perfect of course, but it was great, but it all changed after she dissapeared for 5 days. Apparently her abuser had contacted her again, and she started associating me with him due to my clingyness.
My fear and anxiety kicked in and after an argument she gave me the chance to take things slow, yet all I did was push things to go faster and get an answer, I broke her boundaries and got her mad at me again.
She simply left and started ghosting me, and although she did acknowledge with my friend that she was also in the wrong, she still mocked me and kept ghosting me, she didnt give me closure.
And yet, I know she loved me like no one else, and nobody just suddenly stops loving like that, perhaps the fears are just suppresing her emotions?
She pretends Im at fault shit happened, and pretends I dont exist, it sucks, she has also been trying to "replace me" per say by inviting my friends to do shit or doing stuff like she did when she met me.
Ive been trying to move on really, but I just feel like there might be a way to convince her to atleast talk shit through, deep down I know she will prob not even acknowledge me, but I still feel like trying, I dont feel ready to let go, I want to fight for her.
And I did fuck up, I want to say sorry for blaming her for what went down, yet I feel like shes tired of hearing it.
What do you all suggest me to do?

Hey there! I'm Sean, a 33-year-old from America's armpit, New Jersey. When I'm not working at an oncology office, you can find me indulging in my passions: binge-watching movies and TV shows, writing, gaming, collecting memorabilia, and cheering on my favorite sports teams.(Fly Eagles Fly. Let's Go Phillies) I'm a Jedi Knight by day, a nighttime vigilante by night, and a Pokemon Master in between. If you get that reference, we’re already off to a good start!
Closer to New Jersey, the better, but I'll accept messages from anywhere!
My friends would describe me as quiet yet empathetic, a smart ass but kind and gentle, with an open-minded outlook on life. I believe in being true to oneself and enjoying the little things – like a good laugh over a classic Seinfeld episode (these pretzels are making me thirsty!).
What I’m Looking For: I’m on the lookout for a partner who is take-charge, confident, and not afraid to be vocal. Geeky quirks are a big plus! I admire someone who has no issues telling the server, "He said no pickles!" Ages between 25-40 is preferred.
Fun Facts: I’m the 40th grandchild on my mom's side and the 10th on my dad's side. I've traveled to Germany, France, Switzerland, Ireland and Bermuda. I would love to do more travel in the future (like visiting every MLB ball park!) I used to work in retail for seven years in customer service. In college, I hosted my own sports radio show.
Favorite Quotes: "The force will be with you, always." "It's not a lie, if you believe it." "Warrior? Wars make not one great." "Do, or do not. There is no try." "Who's more foolish? The fool, or the fool who follows him?"
If any of this resonates with you, let’s connect and see where the force takes us!

This is a copy/paste of a post by a fella over on Discord. TL/DR: How do we get new young players into ASL in numbers that will sustain the hobby?

First of all, I think it is important to acknowledge that bringing in new players is a problem faced by all board companies.
In the last year, since becoming involved with ASL and the ASL community, I have been struck by one thought. And that is in 20 years. I am not sure who I will be playing this game with. At winter offensive this year I made a joke that I was one of the youngest guys in the room and I am 42. I am not trying to sound Ageist, but we need to acknowledge the fact that our player base is getting older and bringing in new younger players seems to be a major hurdle.
If you look at the bolt action and Games workshop model, they are both very different but very effective at getting new players into their hobby. I think we should take an in-depth look at what these companies are doing to generate interest in their games.
Bolt Action, in particular, is one of the fastest growing tabletop games in hobby shops right now. This shows real interest in the gameification of World War II. That means there are plenty of potential ASL players out there. War lord works with sponsored liaisons throughout the country to host, gaming sessions, and teaching sessions at game shops all over the country.
I think it would be effective to try a similar method, though it might crowd the World War II gaming space at game shops. If not this then some real thoughts should be put into some sort of game shop outreach.
Again, I do not want to sound ageist here, but with the average age of the ASL community a little bit older, I don't know of many current ASL players who would want to spend an afternoon in a game teaching starter kit two new players. Teaching requires a certain personality in some people are great at it and some people don't care for it.
I think an effective means to doing this would be to find and sponsor some younger players to go out into the community to help drum up new players. These liaisons could be called recruiters or liaisons or outreach coordinators or whatever you wanted to call them. And while there are some people that would definitely donate their time to the hobby, sponsoring people could help them justify prioritizing their time to the hobby.
This is definitely a big pill to swallow for game companies that are already operating on razor thin margins as it is. And the return is not always so easily quantified immediately. The other giant pill to swallow is that a newer, younger, player crowd comes with different values and ideals, and while all of us can agree that we want to keep socioeconomic/political discussions out of the ASL space we have to be willing to accept people with different values at our game tables. Obviously there is a much larger discussion about this that I'm not going to get into but if it wants to entice new players has to be open to new players. (of note I have never experienced anything other than being genuinely welcomed into the player space since starting to play ASL)
I think taking the game to veterans functions or museums or museum battleships are a great way to get people interested and can get new players that aren't necessarily gamers interested into the game. These events should continue and I'm always excited to hear about them.
Ultimately, if we want new players, we have to go to where the players are.
I also believe the rulebook could be simplified in someways.
Often I hear full ASL players complain about how the starter kids have made charts for every piece of ordinance, and other rules simplifications. Whereas the full ASL ordinance chart is a convoluted mess when you look at it for the first time.
Why not re-organize information to be easier to grok? Let's do the work for the players and make starter kit style ordinance charts for the full game by nationality. Let's make information easy to find.
ASL is in an environment where its competition our games that are just getting easier and easier to learn and play. Then we show up with an ASL textbook (as my girlfriend lovingly calls it). So let's take a look at how we display information, how charts are organized and how rules are explained and see if we can make it easier.
I am so very glad that people like Neal Ulen and Ben Harsh are making videos that focus on starter kit content. The step-by-step programmed learning system of starter kit is very effective and should continue on.
For all of the full ASL players out there they do not like to play starter kit because they would have to unlearn tactics, those people are not great ambassadors for the game and the game system. If someone wants to play starter kit full ASL players should consider playing as most starter kit players will eventually make the leap into the full game.

So, that said, how would you bring in newer, younger players into the fold?

Apologies for the long ranty post but I honestly don't know what to do. I've had quite a tremendous "career path?" "Job path?" and amount of experience so far. Annoying its either getting overlooked or assumed to be lies (I've literally had to whip out photos in interviews). I hope someone reads this has been in a similar situation or points me in a direction i've never thought of. Yes, I've been to a professional resume-guy.
Male, Nearly 40; elder millenial. I started my professional life in a data-center transferring videotapes after school; which lead to a job on set in film doing data management [cards off camera, obsolete now]. Eventually the industry got so saturated with new grads that I was getting overlooked for contracts because they had a degree and I did not. Never been a great networker.
Additionally, a lot of "normal" job interviews at regular companies for AV type roles [identical job to what I was doing on set] ended with 'we love your experience but HR requires a graduate'.
SO... at great expense... I got myself a Bsc fast by doing trimester. Geography and geo-spatial analysis (no idea what to do, but like maps; wanted out of media, so went with it) with minor in resource management. Going back to school at 30 sucked, not looking to repeat that at 40.
Got lucky; Got a a great job working in aerial LiDAR but requires 100% travel. (being a tour guide during re-school really paid off here). The job itself is 80% the same as I was doing for data-management in film, but with LiDAR sensors instead of film cameras.... and like in film, over the past 5 years this job has been increasingly watered down to the point any new grad can do it (and they are for 15/hr). The company I work for got bought a few times and now are playing games in hopes I [and other legacy hires] quit for, as a work-friend put it - being "too expensive". There is no upward mobility at this company; managers have been here 20+ years and scared for THEIR jobs. We are a sole-product contractor.
What I've been looking for, in the past year:
GIS: most direct from current role, but now everyone I interview with wants compsci and code tests.
Ground survey: pays 15/hr, requires an expensive license, and has high turnover for a reason.
Terrestrial LiDADrone LiDAR: Everyone I've talked to is one-man-band and not able to provide enough work/income.
Datacenter: Well experienced but the few callbacks want a masters compsci and a code test to change rack units ....for 15/hr.
Aviation purchasing / part management. - 90% of my day to day right now is dealing with this flavor of airplane problems. Just have no idea how to break into it as my official role. It seems to be behind an AME license.
I've had many interviews that go no where or terrible [min wage] offers from most of these positions. Everyone wants a different list of certifications specific to that particular role. I have considerable skills and experience from my quite varied past jobs. I guess I'm not really understanding why I've been having such problems finding something that pays a professional wage despite having all the school and experience that should earn me that by now?
I have no idea what to do next; no idea what the next step is... All the callbacks have dried up in the last few months. Wondering if anyone on here might read this and have better ideas? Please post any career paths or job titles you think might work for me.
If you think going back, again, is the best option, please... post the course and why you think that degree would be a worthwhile investment in 20 years.
Thank you for reading... I hope the reddit hive mind can help crowdsource something I never considered.
TLDR: Media background with geography degrees and direct experience unable to find new work that pays more than min-wage. IDEAS?!

Hi, I'm asking for advice on how to approach a situation with my mom that has been festering for 5+ years. I, (19F) had a good childhood, with loving parents and a good relationship with my younger sibling. However, things changed freshman year of HS. My mom asked my dad for a divorce and despite his attempts to work on the marriage, she was persistent and got the divorce. Just to let you know, my dad never cheated, never hit, or yelled at my mom, and he never mistreated her in his entire life physically, mentally, or financially. The marriage was solid and good. (or so we thought.) However, my mom constantly yelled at my dad, and I now realize that my father was taking the brunt of my mom's anger and yelling so that my sibling and I didn't have to hear them fighting when we were younger. When they were divorcing, I would sit and listen to their fighting, mostly about money. My dad is a Lawyer and my mom was a SAHM. What stuck with me was my dad's calm voice as he tried to reason with my mom as she began to raise her voice at him until it became full yelling.
The next few months were hard for my sibling and me. I couldn't look at my mom without being angry at her for destroying the safe and happy life I lived in. I see now that without her blowing my life up, I would have continued to be a naive girl. My mom honestly lost her mind when she divorced Dad. She got angry and began to drink a lot. When my sibling and I would get to her house on the week she had us, she had already had a drink or was getting ready to begin drinking. We knew to be cautious and try not to upset her. But she would have good days and bad days. Some days she was the fun and loving mother that we knew growing up. Other days we would stay in our rooms to stay out of her way because we could do the smallest of things and be yelled at, or made to feel worse about whatever we had done. For example, we were late for dinner (about 2 minutes), and when we got upstairs, Mom had put dinner away and yelled at us for being late while throwing dishes in the sink and storming away. Luckily her drinking began to stop once she got a job and got a boyfriend (now husband). She also began to stop yelling and me and my sibling
In my Junior year of HS, my mental health declined again. I've always struggled with mental health, and on a road trip to a popular town in our state (will not say for privacy reasons), I told her about how I was struggling with food and found the idea of it bad. I told her that I needed help, and needed to go to therapy again because I was afraid I was going to spiral harder. She listened to my words and promised to help. When we got to the house we had rented for the weekend, she and a few of her friends I had never met before began drinking. She made two jokes about my eating habits and depression during that trip while drunk. I had never met these people before and felt like my entire mental health history, (I've struggled with depression since the 7th grade), was on display to strangers. When I told my therapist about it, I was told that if I wanted, I should talk to my mom and let her know that It hurt me. I did, I told her my trust had been shattered and I didn't know If I could tell her important things like that again. While I felt like she heard me, and is trying to improve, I am not sure If I can be honest with her about important topics such as this.
During my graduation, we got into an altercation for a reason I cannot remember. She said if we (me and my sibling) were so miserable at her house we should go to Dads. So when we packed an overnight bag and left, I said love you, Mom. See you tomorrow. She responded with "Yeah sure you do". This is not the only comment she's made like this. When I got accepted to my dream college, I was eager to go. I picked a college out of state and far away so that I would be free of any pressure from my mom and I could just be me without feeling like I was just a trophy to her. When I arrived back home for winter break from college, I was invited to my mom's house to come and give her a hug. I brought my cat I had adopted at college (she is my ESA for depression and anxiety), I was greeted by a party. I was swept into a small crowd of people as my mom introduced me to her work friends. My cat began to shake and I said my hello, gave my mom a hug, and left. That encounter stuck with me, and I'm beginning to think that to her I am nothing more than a trophy. A daughter she raised to be shown off. That thought had been persistent in my mind.
I have been meaning to sit down with her again and tell her how I feel about our relationship. About the things she said during my graduation, about her constant personality shifts, My therapist said this is a good idea, and I agree. However, I don't know how to begin this conversation. How do I start this conversation? I know that it'll probably never be a good time to have it, but it needs to happen. I also don't know what to say when the convo does begin. How do I even hold and begin this with her? She is my mom, and I do love her, but I don't know how much longer I can continue to act as if nothing is wrong and she's the best mother ever. How do I get things across to her?

hello! first post on here so im feeling a little scared.
ive been writing for a long long time, ever since i was about 7 or so, it’s always what i wanted to do. recently, i submitted an essay to my english teacher and i thought it was really good- i tried super hard on it and i worked on it for about 2 weeks, (in her definition an essay is a short story), and she wrote back a full page feedback that was her basically saying that im trying to hard and that i need to stop elaborating so much on everything. she saw me once just walking in the corridor and she proceeded to expand on how long it was and that i really needed to shorten my essays or she’s not going to correct the entire thing and that no examineteacher really cares.
i know that sounds like perfectly fine advice- but the way she said it was extremely backhanded and it felt like she was judging me.
ever since, ive stopped writing. ive scrapped 3 of my book projects because i just feel like everything i write is terrible and now im scared to open a word document and start writing- sorry if this sounds like a trauma dump but ill get to my point, i promise. does anyone have any advice to get over criticism on your writing? and if so, how do you manage being heavily criticised?
thank you all so much for your time, have a lovely day.

Oh boy. Where do I even begin. I'm a head cashier at a retail store. Kind of like a supervisor, but not as much authority, more just an on-site team lead. I got a couple of new people in recently and I connected with a girl, going to call her A, (19F) who's close to my age (21F). Two weeks ago she was helping close down registers as I needed someone to walk me with the cash to the cash office. I don't remember how the conversation started, but we started talking about our sexual trauma. You know, girl talk~. I expressed to her that a pedophile who had seduced me online when I was 17 just got sentenced to 10 years in jail, and that I'm just generally depressed because I like to pretend he never existed. A expresses to me that her uncle drugged her and her friends at a sleepover to take explicit pictures of them when she was little. We talked a little bit about how our individual experiences led us to having hyper-sexual phases. She mentions that, since she just broke up with her boyfriend, that she's thinking about making an only fans. Especially since her mom (her mom has worked at the same store for longer than me) told her that an ex-coworker of ours has an only fans and IS making a lot of money off of it. I asked her if she really wanted to talk about this, since this conversation isn't work appropriate, y'know, "you're not going to report me over this conversation, right?" and A said she "wouldn't even know how to anyways." I offer to help her if she really delves into it, I mean, my hypersexual phase was sending nudes to strangers for attention, lol. A says we should totally start a business together selling nudes on OF. We laugh about it and move on.
Immediately after this, we're still walking towards the cash office with the money, she drops on me that another head cashier, B, (50 something? F) told A that I MUST be having sex with my boyfriend if I'm taking birth control. I mean, I am lol, but it's no ones business that I am at work. I tell her that I'm probably going to report that woman for harassment because that's an inappropriate way to talk about me. She asks me not to, since she'll know she told me. I tell her I'll think about it. Then she tells me that a curbside associate, C, (18F) is making advances on her even though she's expressed she's not into her, and cornered her in the LADIES RESTROOM to apologize. I advised her to talk to management about it because that is serious. She didn't want to. After I relieved her from guarding me with the cash, I immediately went my assistant store manager about both situations. I was very emotionally distraught that someone would talk about me in that fashion... even though B is known to be quite the gossip. ASM advised that I should probably be more private and not tell people about the medications I'm on, but the conversation that happened between A and B was not and he'd investigate it. He even asked me what action he should take since he didn't want to put more attention on that subject if I didn't want it. I told him I'd think about it, then I had been called to help someone somewhere.
C, who wasn't working that night, later comes in with her girlfriend. Not a huge deal at this point in time but it comes up later. I say hi but continue working, keeping my distance because I'd just heard that she was harassing A.
For the next two weeks I kept my distance from B, even though she somehow found out that I knew about her and A's conversation and kept trying to say that A was a liar. She would say that she even had a recording of her saying that she never talked about me like that. I assume that B manipulated A into saying that, because I think B would definitely lie and manipulate to cover her own ass. I've also been keeping A and C apart as much as possible. I personally was harassed by someone who worked curbside and my then supervisor laughed at me about it because "he was nice to her". I really felt like I was making the difference that my supervisor couldn't be bothered to.
This Friday I tell B that I've been keeping A and C apart, since I was going to lengths to make it happen that day and it impacted both of our shifts. She reminded me that A is a liar, like how she lied about that conversation they had, and that I should be handling the situation with skepticism. She said that she posted on her facebook years ago that story about her uncle abusing her and her friends. She moved on to tell me that A had told her a bunch of peoples secrets, specifically how I offered to help her if she actually planned to make an OF.... Honestly? I was shook. There was no point in lying so I told her yes, that happened, but A had said she was fine with the conversation and even brought up the topic herself... She also told me that A said that I was crying that night two weeks ago because C brought in her girlfriend and that I was in love with C...
After calming down a little bit, but not enough honestly, I texted A and told her that I'd be blocking her phone number and on Facebook for discussing my private information with B and that my private life isn't todays gossip. Without letting her reply, I blocked her, y'know. A little later I run into C and I clarify with her that the rumor about me being in love with her is false and that B said A made it up. C says that she hadn't heard that rumor, but she doesn't talk to A anyways, since multiple people have told her that A is "messy". I bring up that A reported C for harassment. Naturally C is pissed, she doesn't do anything to A that I know of. Just ignores her.
A texts me on the work phone and calls me childish for not talking to her about the situation and is mad at me for telling C about the case and that "they almost had it worked out". I've had two sexual harassment cases, or, three now I guess, and I've never been told the status of my cases or how they were handled. I tell her that I'm not putting up with her manipulation, and she needs to apologize to me for telling B about me offering to help her start an OF. She does apologize to me. I tell her that I can't apologize to her, because the situation triggered my trauma and I wasn't in the mindset to apologize. Now I'm just mad that she made me empathize with her and turned my empathy into a weapon to use against me.
I know I'm in the wrong professionally and that I'm totally getting punished for this but, AITAH?

A flicker of light started to drain away the darkness I was so used to. The darkness where I felt most comfortable and at peace. The flicker slowly enveloped the entire pitch black room within minutes. I could do nothing but sigh in disappointment and open my eyes.
My adjusting eyes were being harassed by the tiny beam of light that made it through my curtain. Where it's at the precise angle that you swear some higher power is just messing with you.
My groggy eyes focused on the clock, it was 7:00 a. M.
Time for work.
The day was April 14th, 2014. A Monday. I knew I only had about an hour to get up, get ready for work, shower, make breakfast and make sure I get to work a few minutes early so I didn't clock in late.
I was only 28 years old and I hated my sales job. I had gone to college and got my marketing degree but I never thought I'd end up here.. selling bullshit products at incredibly hiked prices to unsuspecting or oblivious customers.
I had been doing this job for 3 years and it felt like everyday was just going to be worse. Just a buildup of hatred for your job overtime is natural I guess. Typically people find ways to cope with the constant 9-5 grind. Like going out with friends or clubbing or whatever...but I had none of those.
When my days ended I would go home and watch Netflix and drink then do it all again. I wish it was different, I wish I had the motivation to change myself. But it's difficult when you have no one to support you in your efforts. My mom died from breast cancer when I was 12. Seeing her on hospice for several months suffering from stage 4 cancer was...something you shouldn't see as a 12 year old. To see your once lovely, athletic, hilarious, loving and caring mother degrade into an 85 pound, drug-induced, horrifyingly thin creature that in no way resembled her from my memories of when she was cancer free.
I remember one morning my dad woke me up and said "come to the living room...your mother is taking her last breathes". As soon as he finished that sentence, my memories flooded back...memories of her taking care of me when I was sick, being at my soccer games cheering me on, asking how my day was when I got back from school, leaning on her shoulder as we sat in church. The memories came and went in an instant and the reality set in. My heart at first skipped a few beats but then accelerated to an unhealthy pace. My head started to spin, tears slowly started swelling up on my eyes.
I had jumped off the bed and sprinted to the living room. She was facing away from me and the first thing I noticed are how purple/ blue her feet are. I walk around the hospice nurse and look at my mother's face. She was pale, her breathing was almost non-existent for almost 2 minutes but still there...until it wasn't...she was gone.
I was lost, my dad was bawling. I was crying too but at 12 years old I didn't know how hard the reality would hit as time goes on.
In my lost state, I turned on the TV show "MONK" on the laptop. It was a show my mom and I used to watch, and I figured watching it would make me feel like I'm with her again.
Time went on and I realized how losing a mother truly impacts your younger years. But time still, moved on yet.
I got in my car and left for work. The drive to the office was only about half an hour. I put my sunglasses on as I'm travelling east for almost the entire drive, something I was used to by this point. The drive to work was uneventful other than the usual jackass that cuts you off or is speeding down the road.
I made it to work and stepped out of my car. For some reason, grabbed my backpack and shut the door. For some reason the thought of my mother came across my mind. The sighed, looked down at the ground and stared at the concrete for the few seconds while only thinking of how I missed her. Then the thought vanished and I got on with my life.
The day was incredibly boring, only sold a couple of products, I dealt with people in the east coast of the U.S. and customers there are always so nasty and rude with their comments. It's impossible to build rapport with them. I'm jealous of the employees that have West coast as their territory.
The day ended with my last call but no sales for the day. Hopped in my car and drove back home.
Now I've already told you what I do when I get home. Just drink and watch Netflix. And that's exactly what I did. I can't remember the name of the show( probably because I was already tipsy) but it had to do with strange phenomenons.
I don't even remember passing out but I do remember being there in that dark room again; it was so comfortable and cozy. I sat in the corner of the room with eyes wide closed ...no people, nothing to disturb me, just... nothingness of warmth.
For hours this went on until I heard a woman's voice saying "I'm glad you're here". suddenly realizing that I had overslept my body jolted awake, completely forgetting about that eerie voice. Drinking on a Monday night is not a good idea. Blurry and in a haze trying to concentrate my focus I made out the clock saying 7:00 a.m. April 15th, 2014.
I thought how odd that was. I've been doing the same job with the same schedule for 3 years now and I know when I oversleep. Yet knowing this brought a mental smile to my mind, as my supervisor won't get on my ass for showing up late, again.
I got up lazily and stretched and got on with my morning routine. Finally got dressed and hopped in my car to leave for work. I was only about 5 minutes in when I realized something was off...why was I wearing sunglasses? The sun was behind me, not in front. I took my glasses off and read my car dashboard compass; "EAST".
I have taken this drive for 3 years now every Monday through Friday and I had always worn sunglasses for the drive to the office. I looked behind me and saw the sun rising from the west.
I was still calm, but subconsciously I could tell my panic and anxiety were building with what I was experiencing. I decided to pull over at a gas station, took my phone out and opened my GPS. 'I was still facing east.
I quietly stated "what the fuck". I looked up and asked the person next to me pumping gas " look! The sun! It's rising from the west" with an ecstatic and speedy tone. He looked at me with a smile on his face and said "yeah? Don't ya know it's always rose from the west".
The reality of this was starting to set on, anxiety building, I got back in my car and just sat there... Running my hands through my hair, pulling and stretching my face wondering what the hell was happening? My eyes were staring wide at the brake and gas pedal...trying to find some kind of logical explanation for this while still running my hands over my face and hair.
I decided to take my phone out again and click on trending news hoping to see something explaining or even acknowledging this phenomenon. Nothing. I opened Google search and looked up "sun rising in west" the first thing that popped up said Earth is rotating about its own axis from East to West".
This wasn't right.
I figured I would try to get to work and maybe one of my coworkers would have some answer. My entire body was shaking for the entire drive but I made it".
I got out of the car and the strangest thing came across my mind. A memory. A very unique memory of back when I was 12, in the back yard playing capture the flag with my neighbor that lived behind me. A time which I could go back when.
The memory came and vanished in an instant, but left the overwhelming feeling of nostalgia and sadness.
I walked into the office and started asking around about the sun. Again, none of them knew what I was talking about, but before they answered my question, they would say "oh hey, it's nice to have you here" or "we're glad to have you here" all with a smile on their faces.
Not super weird as my coworkers are typically super energetic happy people. But it did become weird when my east coast clients started answering their phones saying "hey, you're always welcome here"
I couldn't see their faces but I could tell by their tone and attitude that they were smiling. This was not normal. I rushed to the bathroom, opened a stall and sat on the toilet. I started having a panic attack. Nothing was right, the people, the sun, the specific memories... I started to run my hands over my face, stretching and contorting it, trying to calm myself down with feeling my heart bursting out of my chest. I started to whimper, I didn't want anyone outside of the stalls to hear me. None of my coworkers were right, the guy at the gas station wasn't right...nothing. years swelled up in my eyes and a brief memory of my mom came back.
It was me, coming home from school, I walked inside and could smell the pizza she was making. I see and her and asks me hey, how was your day?".
This memory helped calm me down from the wreck I was turning into. I took several deep breaths, tried my very best to compose myself, and stepped out of the stall. I ended up taking some paper towels and wiped away the tears that were caught in my eyes.
I decided that I will just try to finish this day because tomorrow everything would be back to normal...I have to reassure myself that I would be, I just knew it would be....it had to be.
I sat down back at my desk and my phone rang, picked it up and a voice came through. The voice of my mother asking " I am so glad you are here, Luke".
I was frozen, shocking, tingly sensations ran through my entire body. My demeaner instantly changed into fight or flight mode...but I chose the 3rd... freeze.
Phone still up to my ear, I heard her speak again. "Oh honey, Luke my sweet boy, don't you remember?".
I didn't reply verbally, but mentally I was thinking "remember...what is...remember what?"
Then she spoke one last time, "last night, when you saw the sun".
Then the memory of the night before races back into my mind. I was on my drive home from work, watching the beautiful sunset over the horizon. With all it's beautiful mixtures of orange, red, purple. I was just staring at it...in a trance, thinking of how I wanted to go back and just be a kid again, play with my back door neighbor, come home to my mom. Why couldn't I just go back.
I suddenly hear a blaring horn and then darkness.
I believe I died on April 15th, 2014. And I don't mind it. I like being in this black empty room just sitting in the corner..with nothing but warm emptiness to fill my cold shell. I like feeling the embraces of it's comfort over the tiring lifestyle I was living. My only dream was that I could dream forever...and now it's finally been achieved.
I miss my mother, and I know she misses me, the memories I have of her will keep me warm in this blackened wasteland forever.

I'm planing a big Suikoden like campaign, and I have some ideas. And the best possible way to start it, is to write down my thoughts. So you will be the first to hear about how I plan to do things, and maybe you will have some input, how to do things. Or maybe I will inspire you to make your take on this?
So let's start with the core: Suikoden is series, when you always recruit tons of other playable characters. More than 100. Game story is always focused on war, on politics etc. There are special mechanics for duels, that serve mostly as a narrative event, more than checking your abilities to fight. There are also city/kingdom managing mechanics, and there is also mechanics for big battles between armies. In stories told by Suikoden, there is always some war or rebellion involved.
So the first thing: for how many players will be this game? I would love to have more than 8 players, with hard cap on 5 game session. But this is nowhere near the 100 of Suikoden, so either I will have more one-shots with random people, or some players will have more than 1 character.
The story will revolve around the Liberation Army, that players will start. The main villain will be the leader of some big empire who is power hungry and has no reason to stop his conquest. And he will have tons of minor villains helping him, but Fabula Ultima covers that part easily.
So three things, that I must make before I start with players, is to have three system in place, that Fabula Ulitma doesn't cover: Duels, big battles and city/kingdom management.
Big battles can be covered by progression clocks, but the main reason I want to have additional mechanics for these, so the players will feel that their decisions about the kingdom/city/liberation army matter. If they don't put effort in training troops, this will be visible in the armies encounters. What I need, is simple armies stats, that will be supported by players as commanders. Probably nothing hard.
City management is the thing, that is hardest. You can make it easy af, and it will lack substance. And you can easily overcomplicate things. Aside of army power, base will also support daily lives of whole liberation army. There will be probably few resources - food, building resources and special building resources.
As for food, i don't plan to create a survival game, but also I want for players to consider, that constant growth is impossible if you can't sustain population. So mostly it will be blocker of gworth, maybe villain will try to destroy food supply for city, or something like that.
Building materials and special building materials - that's also easy, because players will choose what will be built in the base. Better shops will need better materials, and more people will need more food. And also - building will generate building materials.
So other than that, I also need a city plan, where players will put all the buildings and can have fun with that. Ofc, there is a problem - how we will decide, if not everybody is playing? That will be resolved by simple question on Discord or other communications channel between games.
And the last part - duels. I'm seriously playing my head around them. Probably it will work around rock/papescissors (not literary), and based on the monologue of villian, the player will choose if they want to attack, defend or counter. If they guess the correct amount of times, they will have their limit break ready to slay the enemy. Something like that, it still need more rethinking.
So that's all I have in mind for my campaign. Thank you for reading and wish me good luck!

Part 1: https://www.reddit.com/OffMyChestPH/s/rZznjBrMXb
This is the second night with her.
Since maraming nag request ng update here we go. This one is a long read(you guys asked for this)
So a lil sumthing about me. I'm not really a nice guy. I wouldn't call myself a bad dude either but I'm the type of dude na I won't let my sisters to date. I'm not the ideal.
So yep, sinundo ko s'ya hotel n'ya. That was 5pm. She's so awkward talaga as ever. I tried opening the door for her pero naunahan n'ya ako. She didn't know kung saan kame pupunta but plinano ko na pupunta kame sa cat cafe since I know how much she loves cats dahil majority ng captured pictures n'ya sa phone ay mga pusa n'ya na observe ko nung first date namin.
Oh and before the date lininis ko talaga yung kotse ko carwash/vacuum. Even bought a new cabin air filter.
Anyways during the trip I was just asking her abt her day and the previous day. Wala parin s'yang idea sa pupuntahan namin. Pero nung nag papark na kame nakita n'ya yung cat cafe and nanliwanag yung mata n'ya. Iba rin yung ligaya na naramdaman ko pag nakikita ko ren yung saya n'ya. She got excited and we stayed there for an hour hahah. Bought her a t-shirt and crocs charms na souvenir ng cafe. I also like the fact na she's willing to pay her part everytime we spend something. But I've never let her spent anything while she's with me. So tapos na kame don. And after non di n'ya parin alam kung san na kame pupunta little did she know we're going to another cat cafe na mas maganda. Buttt di kame umabot kase closing na nung dumating kame don hahah nasa mall yon and medyo crowded. So I initiated to hold hands dahil I wanna keep track of her dahil nawawala s'ya sa peripheral vision at medyo mabagal s'yang maglakad talaga or mabilis ako hahah. Pati pag holding hands ang awkward n'ya na di marunong. So we walked around the city again while planning kung san pupunta. And while crossing one of the roads tinangal n'ya yung Crocs dahil madudulas daw s'ya. Maulan kase so basa yung kalsada. So naka paa s'ya hahah weirdo. Kaya biglang binuhat ko na lang s'ya patawid hahah and I bought her a new set of tsinelas since pudpud na pala yung Crocs n'ya kaya pala sinabe n'yang madulas. So di n'ya rin pala magagalit yung charms na binili ko hahah 😅 and after that we went to the beach na malapit lang. We talked again while sitting on the sand honestly we struggle to communicate like normal and go deep. She's very bad at talking in person. And also the fact that she's nervous. But we ended up sharing our life back in highschool.
Oh I also took photos of her through out the date dahil I know she's also bad at taking pictures but she likes taking pictures of her and stuffs. And I know how it sucks to be by yourself all the time and only have one form of picture taking(selfie). I'll share it here(yes I'm just flexing how ethereal she is)
Well, after the beach we ended going to the arcade para mag escape room kame pagkatapos. We had fun even though she's really awkward and quiet. Sinabayan ko ren kaweirdohan n'ya by sniffing her armpit after every game namin kahit anong laroin namin 😆
Tapos somehow nakahanap ako ng rose flower na naiwan ng ibang costumer and I was smooth with it dahil inaamoy ko yung kili kili n'ya then I suddenly gave her the rose. Gosh, her reaction... She was really blushing. Apparently it's her first time receiving flowers from someone in person. Tagal den namen sa arcade kaya di na naabutang bukas yung susunod na pupuntahan namen.
Kaya deadset na kameng makahanap ng alak pero it was very late na at that point it basically just became a night ride with a lil purpose. We were just looking for places na bukas pa to look for alcohol. There's a cute interaction I had with one of the places we went pero di namin nagustohan. We were at the parking lot and naka upo lang sa kotse ko looking for the next place to go. And may matandang lalaki na pinababa bintana ko para makipag usap tungkol sa kotse ko at kinompliment n'ya at pinag usapan namen yung car and at the end of our convo in compliment rin ng s'ya nung matanda. Ang ganda n'ya daw pero tinawag n'ya s'yang asawa at girlfriend ko hahaha that felt so good even though we were together she got shookt ren dahil di ata s'ya sanay maka tangap ng compliments hahah
But yeah it was just an hour two of me driving and her on my passenger sit while hugging my Gengar plushie. I never take anyone on my passenger seat besides my plushie so she's basically my first passenger princess.
When we gave up to look for alcohol we just went sa 711 to get siopao and water. We finished the night at the beach again to talk and smoked a cigarette cause she wanted to try it hahah
I guess she wanted to get drunk so she can come out of her shell a lil bit? Kase when we tried talking she can't come up with anything. To describe her, she's basically not normal. She admits it too.
She suggested that I can just talk and she'll listen. Which is I'm no way used to at that time I was also kinda vulnerable and was gonna get emotional with her pero I told her na she can ask me anything then we can start from there.
She asked me the most unhinged thing and caught off guard. Aling betlog ko daw yung mas mababa 😭 and I guess it's one of the things I like about her. Like who tf asks that under the moon light in the beach after a date?
So I was expecting her to have an emotional conversation with me when that's not her. So I just watched her do her thing that makes her happy. We went through her phone hahah this time sa discord and ig n'ya. She was just yapping while showing stuffs and was just mesmerized the whole because that's how she expresses herself. I'm also very surprised na she doesn't really talk to other guys. We did that until inaantok na s'ya and that was around 330am. So sinamahan ko lng s'ya hangang sa elevator ng hotel. I didn't get to hug her or smell her armpit cause she rushed in dahil sobrang antok n'ya na.
Man, when I tell you. That was the longest 35 mins drive back home I ever had. I caught myself tearing up sa mga stop signs/red lights from the overwhelming emotions I'm having.
So anyways this is just some of the thoughts and details that I have to share of that night; like I said I'm not the best dude but I surprised myself that night. I had my phone on do not disturb because I wanted to enjoy the moment. Opened every door for her even sa car. Minimal physical contact like holding hands but not all the time and I cherished every single moment of it. I ALWAYS asked how she's feeling every chance I get. I asked her what her boundaries are so I won't ever make her uncomfy. Which she didn't answer for some reason that I'll never know. I observed her and wanted to learn her. Never had her spend money the whole time she's with me.
Hmmm. I really went beyond and surprised of myself. My main objective of that night was just her happiness.
Honestly I was just scared of asking her what she feels about me... Part of me thinks na it's only platonic on her side or that she's not as emotionally invested on my side. Which is fine by me but it stings. Kase I never really know her intentions from the yellow app wether she's looking for a friend or something else. Also caught her stalking my profile sa bumble so baka crush nyako hehe(delulu). And there's also the underlying bittersweet fact na we both know there's an ending to it. Uuwi ren s'ya in a couple days. And as for me I know from myself na I never do LDR. But still, I wanted to do my best for her. Even though I know we are not the endgame. I want to be her standard. I want to give her the best couple nights she can have so she'll have something to remember for a very long time on her life. She somehow made me a better person that night. So yeah guys I'll have to cut this post since I'm getting kinda teary na. There's so much more I wanted to share but words cannot describe it so yeah I did the best I can to share ;))
Oh and yes, we're going on a date again later tonight ofc ;))