Punk man dress up
Reddit's Goth Community
2009.08.17 03:34 epicRelic Reddit's Goth Community
Reddit's Goth Community, for goth music and subculture! Please check out our Wiki which features the rules and FAQ, and our sidebar which features many resources on goth music, (including recommendations and playlists) fashion, history, and scene. Anything relating to fashion when it's not Fashion Friday, please post in GothFashion and if you are looking for a subreddit which encompasses anything dark and spooky, please visit DarklyInclined. We have gothclub for any alternative tunes.
2013.08.28 05:51 wackymayor voodoo glow skulls
The only true Ska-Core band!
2014.08.15 06:48 The Sounds of Misandry
Sick of the patriarchy? You are not alone. Come unwind with music that shares your frustration. They say this is a man's world, but you can't prove that by these songs. Share the music that makes you feel better when sexism has got you down. Curl up, tune in, and wash those entitled misters right out of your hair. All genres, genders, languages, and time periods welcome. Hit us with your best shots. Fire away!
2024.05.19 18:02 Coherently-Rambling Ranking the Post-Joe episodes from worst to best
This is my ranking of every Impractical Jokers episode starting when Joe left. I was going to wait until season 10 was over to post this, but I’m just gonna post it now, as I have no idea if season 10 is done or still going.
I’ll be referring to the episodes by their celebrity guests, but that’s only because that’s how IJ names their episodes. I’ll be judging the episodes as a whole, not just the guest.
I’m only doing mainline episodes, meaning no “sideline smacktalk” or shark week special.
25. Bobby Moinahan
In general, I like challenges where the Jokers have to convince a mark to go along with what they’re doing, but making it so both challenges had that goal made this episode monotonous. The telethon challenge was particularly disappointing, as I think there was a ton of potential to make the marks do a bunch of wacky things, but it wound up being “insult the customer” over and over.
The punishment also felt disjointed. Murr having to annoy and creep out wedding dress buyers was pretty standard, but making him eat his wedding band and then wear a wedding dress to the airport seemed really tacked on.
24. Jillian Bell
The “you’re fired” challenge was a swing and a miss. Not only is it not fun to watch the Jokers just act like jerks of their own volition, but the ruleset is backwards because it requires you to be a jerk and then you’ll lose if you do too good a job. I think this game could be easily fixed if they made the first half be a standard “refuse you lose” and then fire the mark and beg for your job.
The “one more minute” skit was pretty cringey (this is coming from someone who likes the skits more than the average IJ fan) and I much preferred the deleted skit shown on “Filming with the stars”
The punishment was really underwhelming.
The one saving grace was the “Boot and Rally” challenge, which isn’t one I’d want to see again, but was still entertaining because of how over the top it was, and because of how self aware they were that it’s not a good challenge.
23. David Cross
They basically copied and pasted one of the Rob Riggle skits for this episode. Even though the skits are the least important part of the show, it’s still kind of upsetting to see them get recycled.
The challenges were fairly average, with the exception of Max Zoda dragging down Sal’s turn.
I did like the punishment. The post-Joe episodes have been pretty dependent on physically painful punishments, but this one was pretty creative both in using various methods to torture Murr, and in doing it in a context where it seems acceptable.
22. Adam Pally and Jon Gabrus
The babysitting challenge was solid, and I like the choice to play beer pong with the guests instead of doing a skit. In fact, I think it would’ve been better to consistently show authentic interactions with the guests instead of skits. They could even make it a callback to the walking bits from season 1.
Sal’s shock punishment was also pretty entertaining. Although it is watered down by the abundance of physical punishments in this era of the show.
21. Paul Scheer
The two challenges were solid, but the punishment was pretty underwhelming. The overall idea is pretty funny after it’s explained, but the entertainment value dissipates after the first couple rounds.
20. Colin Jost
The ice cream challenge was an improvement over the “you’re fired” challenge from last episode. While it still involved the vague command of “act like a jerk”, they now made the mark a witness instead of a victim, and the Jokers were actually rewarded instead of punished for fulfilling that command.
This episode also opted to show a real interaction with its guest instead of a skit, which again, is a decision I like.
The love guru’s challenge was solid, with the best part being when the guy claimed to know about the relationship expert Murr and Sal made up.
The punishment was entertaining, but again, kind of diluted by how many physical punishments there have been recently.
19. Eric André Returns
Fairly underwhelming as an episode, but never to the point that I wasn’t enjoying it. The best part was Sal talking about his exploding wife.
18. Harvey Guillen
The lawyer challenge was alright. The best part was Q’s “potato chip or two” line, which highlighted the absurdity of how convoluted the contracts were
Having a challenge where each turn was at a different location was an interesting idea, but ultimately didn’t have much impact.
Q’s punishment was kind of underwhelming. When it started with him getting prosthetics, I was expecting him to look radically different and for it to be crucial to the punishment, so I was disappointed when Q was fairly recognizable and it wasn’t necessary for what he had to do. Though the punishment itself was still fun due to the energy Harvey gave it. Plus it had a surprisingly light hearted ending.
17. Paula Abdul
Most of the episode was middling. I was disappointed because I was expecting Paula to have a great dynamic with the Jokers due to them making a movie together, yet she wound up blending in as a guest.
The high point of the episode was the “get my wallet challenge”. I loved the twist of having Cha throw Q out instead of Dan, and I especially loved Q sabotaging Sal by giving him his wallet before the mark could get it. It was oddly nostalgic, as it was the kind of thing Joe would do.
16. Kesha
I really don’t like that they repeated Sal’s shock punishment, the seance setting made it just barely different enough to justify doing again.
However, the “fall in love” challenge was pretty fun, and the debate challenge with MJF was great. I’d love for him to work with the Jokers again.
15. Michael Ian Black
I liked the return of the texting challenge, and Murr chasing the greased up boy was ridiculous (in a good way).
The punishment was fairly standard, but Michael did a great job acting as the straight-man and adding to Sal’s embarrassment.
14. Kim Fields
Murr’s “fuck marry kill” conversation, Q’s mistletoe, and Q eating the dog treats were all fun moments. The punishment felt pretty old school (in a good way) and while Q calling a woman’s bitch briefly dampened the fun, the mood was saved by Murr’s impression afterwards.
13. Post Malone
I liked seeing the etiquette challenge brought back and I especially loved seeing the guy do a 180 after recognizing Murr.
The punishment was clever and Post did a great job fanning the flames between the customers and Q. Though I think it was an odd choice to end it as a man was calling 911 without showing how the situation resolves.
12. Eric Andre
The challenges don’t have any moments that particularly stand out to me, but they were consistently entertaining in a way where it always feels worth my time to watch.
This is a rare time where I’d say the best moment from an episode came from a skit, as I love the idea of Murr being a fictional character.
The one change I’d make is that I wish they cut the opening skit and instead spoke to the audience directly, explicitly acknowledging that Joe left and they would be changing things up. I feel like that would’ve made for a better transition.
11. John Mayer
I don’t like that this episode only had one challenge before the punishment, but I do like that the celebrity guest was involved in both the challenge and the punishment, which I wish was the case more often.
The challenge itself was also fun enough to make up for being the only one. I loved Sal randomly arm wrestling the investors, the constant utterance of “Bro” and Murr’s mark insinuating he hired prostitutes.
10. ALF
The ticket challenge was solid and the phone call challenge was great, especially Sal’s McRib story.
Making a fictional character the celebrity guest was a somewhat risky choice, but I think it worked out. They did a good job integrating ALF into the punishment, and I loved the detail of him thinking Q enjoyed the food.
9. Anthony Davis
I like challenges where the Jokers have to convince the mark to lie, so I really enjoyed the “playing hookie” challenge.
I did not like the second challenge though. I found Steve Byrne’s antics more annoying than funny.
This is made up for by the punishment, which I consider one of the best punishments in recent history. Allowing Sal to opt out of tasks at a price was a clever way of adding stakes and making the punishment standout. The final task in particular was genius, and while it could have been over the line, Anthony avoided that by giving the kid his own shoes.
8. Method Man
The punishment was just uncomfortable and not very fun to watch, but the episode makes up for it with the challenges.
The scientists challenge was great, and the “don’t smirk” challenge was possibly the funniest segment in the whole post-Joe era. I personally think the “no smirking” rule was a bit excessive, and a rule against laughing would’ve been plenty, but the content of the challenge was hilarious, and that’s what matters.
7. Bruce Campbell
The Rosanna Scotto challenge was alright, with the most interesting part being when customers defended dumpster diving.
The waiter challenge was great. I loved Murr’s “who’s paying?” bit and Q constantly trying to improve the women’s ribs.
The punishment was great and felt like something we’d get in the older seasons. For the Bobby Moynihan episode, I mentioned that parts of Murr’s punishment seemed tacked on, and that’s not the case here. Each step of Q’s punishment felt like a natural extension, and Campbell did a great job as the overly demanding director.
6. Bret Michaels
The Grocery Roll was a great challenge to kick off the COVID restrictions being lifted. Murr and Sal each had spectacular Pratt falls.
The hide and seek challenge was a welcomed return. While I wouldn’t want it to become a staple of the show, I think it’s a great game to throw in once every couple of seasons to shake things up. Sal genuinely wondering if he can breathe in the fridge, repeatedly trying to close the door on himself, and hurting his arm on the third attempt was very stupid in the best way possible.
Murr’s punishment was a mixed bag. The armwrestling, bowls of soup, and Paul Rudd showing up out of nowhere were all hilarious, but whenever a mark is furious and has their face blurred, I go from enjoying the discomfort to just feeling bad for everyone involved.
5. Rob Riggle
The taste test challenge was great, with Q’s mark being one of the funniest of season in recent history.
The workout challenge was even better and really recaptured the magic they had in earlier seasons. Murr’s “wrong/good” workout and Sal’s refusal to accept help were particularly great.
The punishment was also solid. Murr having to stay still while mostly naked was simple and effective, and they were able to create a wacky enough environment around him that there’s more to keep things entertaining.
4. Chris Jericho
This is the first episode that made me realize IJ can make great episodes.
The Joint Gravy challenge was absolutely hilarious. Especially Sal’s turn.
The focus group challenge was also great. I’d be happy if they made Jiggy… not the fourth Joker… but the official stand-in whenever they have a challenge where they need to pair up.
The two skits were both really good. The opener was grounded and reserved, while the mid-show skit was ridiculous in the best way.
While I’ve said that IJ has gone a bit overboard with the physical torture punishments, I think this one was well done. It was creative to let Q alternate between various painful tasks as he wanted, and I loved how he was dependent on Sal’s mom to end the punishment. I really wish she started getting involved in the show earlier, because she’s hilarious.
3. Kal Penn
Having to sell a product after coming in through the window was hysterical, both in concept and execution. All three turns had a completely different feel to them. Murr was slimy and confident, Q was overly enthusiastic, and Sal was completely desperate.
The eating challenge was similar to the “Boot and Rally” challenge to me, in the sense that it’s not something I’d want to see again, but it was made funny due to the Jokers being self aware about it not being a good challenge. Murr’s frustration at Q and Sal saying they’d just take the thumbs down was 10X funnier than if they actually attempted the challenge.
The punishment itself was solid. It’s a simple but effective idea, and revealing that it was Sal’s breath that stunk was a great ending.
2. Blake Anderson
They brought back two challenges that had each only been done once before, which could be risky, but worked out great.
The “phony fees” challenge was a welcomed return. Johnna did a great job making the charges seem legitimate, and the woman constantly praising Q was amazing.
The Yearbook challenge was also really good. The gag about them all being married to Melissa reminded me of the organic humor we got back when Joe was on the show.
The punishment was my favorite of season 10. It has a juvenile charm where I know what Sal’s doing is really dumb, yet am root for him to get away with it.
1. Brooke Shields
Brooke gave the same energy as a guest that I was hoping to get from Paula Abdul.
The opening skit was great, largely because of how well Brooke sold the role of a fangirl.
This was the first time we saw the celebrity guest participate in a challenge, and it was very fun to watch. The girl trying to dab while in a suitcase was hilarious.
The “Brooke of Love” punishment was genius. We’ve seen challenges that convert to punishments before, but it was always done on the fly and/or kept secret from the joker being punished. Having everyone know that whoever loses will be punished immediately was a really unique approach and I hope they do something similar in the future.
I also love the idea of a dating show where the guys are all trying to be as unappealing as possible. Sal’s rap, the return of Stanley Merkle, and the hushed trash talking (trash whispering?) were all fantastic. I know the show (usually) doesn’t repeat punishments, but I’d love to see the challenge be done again, even if it’s without the instant punishment at the end. It could be in the context of a dating show again, or it could be something like a job interview.
submitted by Coherently-Rambling to ImpracticalJokers [link] [comments]
I’ll be referring to the episodes by their celebrity guests, but that’s only because that’s how IJ names their episodes. I’ll be judging the episodes as a whole, not just the guest.
I’m only doing mainline episodes, meaning no “sideline smacktalk” or shark week special.
25. Bobby Moinahan
In general, I like challenges where the Jokers have to convince a mark to go along with what they’re doing, but making it so both challenges had that goal made this episode monotonous. The telethon challenge was particularly disappointing, as I think there was a ton of potential to make the marks do a bunch of wacky things, but it wound up being “insult the customer” over and over.
The punishment also felt disjointed. Murr having to annoy and creep out wedding dress buyers was pretty standard, but making him eat his wedding band and then wear a wedding dress to the airport seemed really tacked on.
24. Jillian Bell
The “you’re fired” challenge was a swing and a miss. Not only is it not fun to watch the Jokers just act like jerks of their own volition, but the ruleset is backwards because it requires you to be a jerk and then you’ll lose if you do too good a job. I think this game could be easily fixed if they made the first half be a standard “refuse you lose” and then fire the mark and beg for your job.
The “one more minute” skit was pretty cringey (this is coming from someone who likes the skits more than the average IJ fan) and I much preferred the deleted skit shown on “Filming with the stars”
The punishment was really underwhelming.
The one saving grace was the “Boot and Rally” challenge, which isn’t one I’d want to see again, but was still entertaining because of how over the top it was, and because of how self aware they were that it’s not a good challenge.
23. David Cross
They basically copied and pasted one of the Rob Riggle skits for this episode. Even though the skits are the least important part of the show, it’s still kind of upsetting to see them get recycled.
The challenges were fairly average, with the exception of Max Zoda dragging down Sal’s turn.
I did like the punishment. The post-Joe episodes have been pretty dependent on physically painful punishments, but this one was pretty creative both in using various methods to torture Murr, and in doing it in a context where it seems acceptable.
22. Adam Pally and Jon Gabrus
The babysitting challenge was solid, and I like the choice to play beer pong with the guests instead of doing a skit. In fact, I think it would’ve been better to consistently show authentic interactions with the guests instead of skits. They could even make it a callback to the walking bits from season 1.
Sal’s shock punishment was also pretty entertaining. Although it is watered down by the abundance of physical punishments in this era of the show.
21. Paul Scheer
The two challenges were solid, but the punishment was pretty underwhelming. The overall idea is pretty funny after it’s explained, but the entertainment value dissipates after the first couple rounds.
20. Colin Jost
The ice cream challenge was an improvement over the “you’re fired” challenge from last episode. While it still involved the vague command of “act like a jerk”, they now made the mark a witness instead of a victim, and the Jokers were actually rewarded instead of punished for fulfilling that command.
This episode also opted to show a real interaction with its guest instead of a skit, which again, is a decision I like.
The love guru’s challenge was solid, with the best part being when the guy claimed to know about the relationship expert Murr and Sal made up.
The punishment was entertaining, but again, kind of diluted by how many physical punishments there have been recently.
19. Eric André Returns
Fairly underwhelming as an episode, but never to the point that I wasn’t enjoying it. The best part was Sal talking about his exploding wife.
18. Harvey Guillen
The lawyer challenge was alright. The best part was Q’s “potato chip or two” line, which highlighted the absurdity of how convoluted the contracts were
Having a challenge where each turn was at a different location was an interesting idea, but ultimately didn’t have much impact.
Q’s punishment was kind of underwhelming. When it started with him getting prosthetics, I was expecting him to look radically different and for it to be crucial to the punishment, so I was disappointed when Q was fairly recognizable and it wasn’t necessary for what he had to do. Though the punishment itself was still fun due to the energy Harvey gave it. Plus it had a surprisingly light hearted ending.
17. Paula Abdul
Most of the episode was middling. I was disappointed because I was expecting Paula to have a great dynamic with the Jokers due to them making a movie together, yet she wound up blending in as a guest.
The high point of the episode was the “get my wallet challenge”. I loved the twist of having Cha throw Q out instead of Dan, and I especially loved Q sabotaging Sal by giving him his wallet before the mark could get it. It was oddly nostalgic, as it was the kind of thing Joe would do.
16. Kesha
I really don’t like that they repeated Sal’s shock punishment, the seance setting made it just barely different enough to justify doing again.
However, the “fall in love” challenge was pretty fun, and the debate challenge with MJF was great. I’d love for him to work with the Jokers again.
15. Michael Ian Black
I liked the return of the texting challenge, and Murr chasing the greased up boy was ridiculous (in a good way).
The punishment was fairly standard, but Michael did a great job acting as the straight-man and adding to Sal’s embarrassment.
14. Kim Fields
Murr’s “fuck marry kill” conversation, Q’s mistletoe, and Q eating the dog treats were all fun moments. The punishment felt pretty old school (in a good way) and while Q calling a woman’s bitch briefly dampened the fun, the mood was saved by Murr’s impression afterwards.
13. Post Malone
I liked seeing the etiquette challenge brought back and I especially loved seeing the guy do a 180 after recognizing Murr.
The punishment was clever and Post did a great job fanning the flames between the customers and Q. Though I think it was an odd choice to end it as a man was calling 911 without showing how the situation resolves.
12. Eric Andre
The challenges don’t have any moments that particularly stand out to me, but they were consistently entertaining in a way where it always feels worth my time to watch.
This is a rare time where I’d say the best moment from an episode came from a skit, as I love the idea of Murr being a fictional character.
The one change I’d make is that I wish they cut the opening skit and instead spoke to the audience directly, explicitly acknowledging that Joe left and they would be changing things up. I feel like that would’ve made for a better transition.
11. John Mayer
I don’t like that this episode only had one challenge before the punishment, but I do like that the celebrity guest was involved in both the challenge and the punishment, which I wish was the case more often.
The challenge itself was also fun enough to make up for being the only one. I loved Sal randomly arm wrestling the investors, the constant utterance of “Bro” and Murr’s mark insinuating he hired prostitutes.
10. ALF
The ticket challenge was solid and the phone call challenge was great, especially Sal’s McRib story.
Making a fictional character the celebrity guest was a somewhat risky choice, but I think it worked out. They did a good job integrating ALF into the punishment, and I loved the detail of him thinking Q enjoyed the food.
9. Anthony Davis
I like challenges where the Jokers have to convince the mark to lie, so I really enjoyed the “playing hookie” challenge.
I did not like the second challenge though. I found Steve Byrne’s antics more annoying than funny.
This is made up for by the punishment, which I consider one of the best punishments in recent history. Allowing Sal to opt out of tasks at a price was a clever way of adding stakes and making the punishment standout. The final task in particular was genius, and while it could have been over the line, Anthony avoided that by giving the kid his own shoes.
8. Method Man
The punishment was just uncomfortable and not very fun to watch, but the episode makes up for it with the challenges.
The scientists challenge was great, and the “don’t smirk” challenge was possibly the funniest segment in the whole post-Joe era. I personally think the “no smirking” rule was a bit excessive, and a rule against laughing would’ve been plenty, but the content of the challenge was hilarious, and that’s what matters.
7. Bruce Campbell
The Rosanna Scotto challenge was alright, with the most interesting part being when customers defended dumpster diving.
The waiter challenge was great. I loved Murr’s “who’s paying?” bit and Q constantly trying to improve the women’s ribs.
The punishment was great and felt like something we’d get in the older seasons. For the Bobby Moynihan episode, I mentioned that parts of Murr’s punishment seemed tacked on, and that’s not the case here. Each step of Q’s punishment felt like a natural extension, and Campbell did a great job as the overly demanding director.
6. Bret Michaels
The Grocery Roll was a great challenge to kick off the COVID restrictions being lifted. Murr and Sal each had spectacular Pratt falls.
The hide and seek challenge was a welcomed return. While I wouldn’t want it to become a staple of the show, I think it’s a great game to throw in once every couple of seasons to shake things up. Sal genuinely wondering if he can breathe in the fridge, repeatedly trying to close the door on himself, and hurting his arm on the third attempt was very stupid in the best way possible.
Murr’s punishment was a mixed bag. The armwrestling, bowls of soup, and Paul Rudd showing up out of nowhere were all hilarious, but whenever a mark is furious and has their face blurred, I go from enjoying the discomfort to just feeling bad for everyone involved.
5. Rob Riggle
The taste test challenge was great, with Q’s mark being one of the funniest of season in recent history.
The workout challenge was even better and really recaptured the magic they had in earlier seasons. Murr’s “wrong/good” workout and Sal’s refusal to accept help were particularly great.
The punishment was also solid. Murr having to stay still while mostly naked was simple and effective, and they were able to create a wacky enough environment around him that there’s more to keep things entertaining.
4. Chris Jericho
This is the first episode that made me realize IJ can make great episodes.
The Joint Gravy challenge was absolutely hilarious. Especially Sal’s turn.
The focus group challenge was also great. I’d be happy if they made Jiggy… not the fourth Joker… but the official stand-in whenever they have a challenge where they need to pair up.
The two skits were both really good. The opener was grounded and reserved, while the mid-show skit was ridiculous in the best way.
While I’ve said that IJ has gone a bit overboard with the physical torture punishments, I think this one was well done. It was creative to let Q alternate between various painful tasks as he wanted, and I loved how he was dependent on Sal’s mom to end the punishment. I really wish she started getting involved in the show earlier, because she’s hilarious.
3. Kal Penn
Having to sell a product after coming in through the window was hysterical, both in concept and execution. All three turns had a completely different feel to them. Murr was slimy and confident, Q was overly enthusiastic, and Sal was completely desperate.
The eating challenge was similar to the “Boot and Rally” challenge to me, in the sense that it’s not something I’d want to see again, but it was made funny due to the Jokers being self aware about it not being a good challenge. Murr’s frustration at Q and Sal saying they’d just take the thumbs down was 10X funnier than if they actually attempted the challenge.
The punishment itself was solid. It’s a simple but effective idea, and revealing that it was Sal’s breath that stunk was a great ending.
2. Blake Anderson
They brought back two challenges that had each only been done once before, which could be risky, but worked out great.
The “phony fees” challenge was a welcomed return. Johnna did a great job making the charges seem legitimate, and the woman constantly praising Q was amazing.
The Yearbook challenge was also really good. The gag about them all being married to Melissa reminded me of the organic humor we got back when Joe was on the show.
The punishment was my favorite of season 10. It has a juvenile charm where I know what Sal’s doing is really dumb, yet am root for him to get away with it.
1. Brooke Shields
Brooke gave the same energy as a guest that I was hoping to get from Paula Abdul.
The opening skit was great, largely because of how well Brooke sold the role of a fangirl.
This was the first time we saw the celebrity guest participate in a challenge, and it was very fun to watch. The girl trying to dab while in a suitcase was hilarious.
The “Brooke of Love” punishment was genius. We’ve seen challenges that convert to punishments before, but it was always done on the fly and/or kept secret from the joker being punished. Having everyone know that whoever loses will be punished immediately was a really unique approach and I hope they do something similar in the future.
I also love the idea of a dating show where the guys are all trying to be as unappealing as possible. Sal’s rap, the return of Stanley Merkle, and the hushed trash talking (trash whispering?) were all fantastic. I know the show (usually) doesn’t repeat punishments, but I’d love to see the challenge be done again, even if it’s without the instant punishment at the end. It could be in the context of a dating show again, or it could be something like a job interview.
2024.05.19 17:58 cdvoxis WIBTA if I didn't let my (18TF) sister live in my apartment with me?
About a month ago, my mom asked my younger sibling to let my sister live with them in their 1 bedroom apt and work down there to get some job experience.They said they couldn't cause their friend was already living with them as well as their combined 1 dog and 2 cats. So it deferred to me. I asked why they wanted her out the house so bad and it turned out my stepfather was coming home on leave then retirement in July/Aug.
Now, my stepfather is a piece of shit. He verbally abuses my mother, my sibling and myself and physically abused my sister due to her being "a problem child" in my highschool years. Things such as Military PT, standing in a corner for 5+hours, and writing over 100 pages front to back of lines. My sibling and I also got some of this but nothing as bad as my sister. My sister reasonably is terrified of this man and the few times he's come to visit, she refuses to leave her room and will wait til he's asleep or out the house to even grab food and drinks.
He is not aware that she is trans (most of our family doesn't know) but she's grown out her hair and dresses a bit more feminine when she feels comfortable. My stepfather is a highly conservative person who on several occasions has said my mom is a terrible mother cause all her children are gay/trans/nonbinary and it was somehow her fault.
Now to the part that might make me the asshole, I haven't said no yet but I'm worried about a few things.
I don't really have any friends due to moving around alot and everyone I know is emotionally invested in this conflict. I have been told I'm being selfish and an asshole for not immediately saying yes and moving her in right away. But I'm also being told it isn't my responsibility to take care of my sister, it's my mom's responsibility.
Please any advice will be greatly appreciated. AITA?
submitted by cdvoxis to AmItheAsshole [link] [comments]
Now, my stepfather is a piece of shit. He verbally abuses my mother, my sibling and myself and physically abused my sister due to her being "a problem child" in my highschool years. Things such as Military PT, standing in a corner for 5+hours, and writing over 100 pages front to back of lines. My sibling and I also got some of this but nothing as bad as my sister. My sister reasonably is terrified of this man and the few times he's come to visit, she refuses to leave her room and will wait til he's asleep or out the house to even grab food and drinks.
He is not aware that she is trans (most of our family doesn't know) but she's grown out her hair and dresses a bit more feminine when she feels comfortable. My stepfather is a highly conservative person who on several occasions has said my mom is a terrible mother cause all her children are gay/trans/nonbinary and it was somehow her fault.
Now to the part that might make me the asshole, I haven't said no yet but I'm worried about a few things.
- My sister can not drive so she can't get herself to work, (The town we live in is mostly highways and since she's autistic and highly antisocial, working at the restaurant closest to our house isn't the best option) so we would have to drive her.
- We would have to choose between a living space and our gaming setups. We chose this space due to the amount of stuff we have and to have a comfortable space to live in. Having to get rid of my art workspace in the dining room area or his vr setup to give the other room to my sister seems unfair to us.
I don't really have any friends due to moving around alot and everyone I know is emotionally invested in this conflict. I have been told I'm being selfish and an asshole for not immediately saying yes and moving her in right away. But I'm also being told it isn't my responsibility to take care of my sister, it's my mom's responsibility.
Please any advice will be greatly appreciated. AITA?
2024.05.19 17:30 Odd-Helicopter-1368 First tier list ever. Please critique...
 | submitted by Odd-Helicopter-1368 to Vampireweekend [link] [comments] |
2024.05.19 17:17 Somewhereinnacloudz Tell me your trans without telling me
Taijai here, im a 25 year old transman and i have been in therapy for a while. A topic that she has me thinking about is where are the ah ha moments that i missed or didn’t quite get.
Growing up me and my cousin nick were inseparable. We did everything together and its funny because he allowed me the space to be me without even noticing it. He knew i wasnt a girly girl at all so when family would try to stuff me into dresses hed have a backpack ready. Or when we would go out it just felt right to be with the boys yanno. Natural, we talked about games, women, skateboarding etc. I dressed like this so much to where my family was like your not a guy. I just would ignore and say I’m me. From experimenting with my cousins wardrobe, i was able to find out more about myself. I figured out my likes and dislikes etc.
Another moment that has me questioning if this was my moment or do others do this to. So i knew as a girl that i had to use the bathroom sitting down and i hated it. I wanted to be like the guys stand up and hold them jewels to shoot 😂 but i didnt have the parts so i adjusted. I practiced and practiced and like a true man, i to sometimes get a dribble on the leg bladder be tryna release😂 My question is has anyone else taught themselves to stp with there original parts? I have been doing it so long its a habit. Was this my trans delusion?
submitted by Somewhereinnacloudz to TMPOC [link] [comments]
Growing up me and my cousin nick were inseparable. We did everything together and its funny because he allowed me the space to be me without even noticing it. He knew i wasnt a girly girl at all so when family would try to stuff me into dresses hed have a backpack ready. Or when we would go out it just felt right to be with the boys yanno. Natural, we talked about games, women, skateboarding etc. I dressed like this so much to where my family was like your not a guy. I just would ignore and say I’m me. From experimenting with my cousins wardrobe, i was able to find out more about myself. I figured out my likes and dislikes etc.
Another moment that has me questioning if this was my moment or do others do this to. So i knew as a girl that i had to use the bathroom sitting down and i hated it. I wanted to be like the guys stand up and hold them jewels to shoot 😂 but i didnt have the parts so i adjusted. I practiced and practiced and like a true man, i to sometimes get a dribble on the leg bladder be tryna release😂 My question is has anyone else taught themselves to stp with there original parts? I have been doing it so long its a habit. Was this my trans delusion?
2024.05.19 16:56 mangopep Constantly surrounded by anti-lgbt people
Being in a state surrounded by multiple transphobic and homophobic people, including my family, is exhausting. I didn't even have to announce my agender identity (never came out of the closet) and some random man was trying to start shit at a Walmart because they couldn't tell if I was a boy or a girl lmao. Not only that, but my family would just ghost me if I were to come out of the closet. Just for me explaining that I'm not looking to have kids or a spouse (I think I'm aro-ace/ gray aro-ace), I was called an alien or my parent would tell me I was not their kid. They would openly prefer my younger sister for getting pregnant by her boyfriend at 17, so long as she is straight, normal, and provides a grandchild.
Now, imagine if I were to tell my family I'm agender. I tried to test the waters by telling my brother I wished I hadn't been born as my assigned sex, and he was already saying how he didn't trust that line of thinking and threatened to distance himself from me, which hurt because he's one of the few siblings I'm closest to. My other sibling is a self-proclaimed lgbt supporter but would be quick to judge if someone in his family is Lgbt, which doesn't make sense. He does find entertainment in lesbians though...
My parents are from the older generation, so they automatically are transphobic and homophobic and don't wish to change their opinion. One constantly would come to me to make jokes about lgbt folk, while the other would claim that transgender people are pedophiles and trying to force kids to be trans. Little did they know I had experiencing gender dysphoria since elementary. I was constantly yelled at for dressing in a way that didn't confirm my gender growing up, for wanting things that were for the opposite sex, and one side of my parents' family was literally betting with one another that I'd grow up attracted to the same sex just from my appearance alone in a teasing/ mocking manner.
Just to fit in, I have to hide everything about myself and it's very exhausting. I hate pretending to be someone that I'm not all the time, but have to avoid judgment, to be accepted, and avoid possible hate crimes.
submitted by mangopep to offmychest [link] [comments]
Now, imagine if I were to tell my family I'm agender. I tried to test the waters by telling my brother I wished I hadn't been born as my assigned sex, and he was already saying how he didn't trust that line of thinking and threatened to distance himself from me, which hurt because he's one of the few siblings I'm closest to. My other sibling is a self-proclaimed lgbt supporter but would be quick to judge if someone in his family is Lgbt, which doesn't make sense. He does find entertainment in lesbians though...
My parents are from the older generation, so they automatically are transphobic and homophobic and don't wish to change their opinion. One constantly would come to me to make jokes about lgbt folk, while the other would claim that transgender people are pedophiles and trying to force kids to be trans. Little did they know I had experiencing gender dysphoria since elementary. I was constantly yelled at for dressing in a way that didn't confirm my gender growing up, for wanting things that were for the opposite sex, and one side of my parents' family was literally betting with one another that I'd grow up attracted to the same sex just from my appearance alone in a teasing/ mocking manner.
Just to fit in, I have to hide everything about myself and it's very exhausting. I hate pretending to be someone that I'm not all the time, but have to avoid judgment, to be accepted, and avoid possible hate crimes.
2024.05.19 16:41 Cultural_Sleep9678 Fulgrim's little Muse (2/?)
"Explain your past, Musa" the gov'ness walks at my right, shielding my from the piercing sun as we walks with the caravan. After the trench was dismantled, we are walking by foot to reach the capital, as the trench-line have been pushed far into our homeland.
"I was a cook when the war started, gov'ness" and now I am left wondering why did she chose me from anyone else in the caravan, there's the sergeant, the whom she asked to see earlier today.
"You have been trusted to cook rations for your company, as early as the war?" her baroque companion, similarly donned in her armor, walks close by ours, but never overtook us.
"No, gov'ness, I was a 10 years old when the war started, the war went for seven years and I fought for the last two" before she came, with weapons of the stars that could've decimate my trench instead of theirs
"Such a young man you are, seven years ago, the Emperor grants me audience, revealing that I was his progenitor"
This talk about an "imperium" across the stars and the deified emperor has gotten me worried. Is that her reason for talking to me, to ease my pain before sending me to the stars far from here? Or simply an act of pity?
The meager town came into view, and was it not for the ancient structure, we would've thought this was anywhere but the capital. Gray skies and beaten earth have become the synonym for the heart of Nagorow.
"I must say, this was not our expectation when your leader came into contact with my ship, begging for salvation" the gov'ness depart from me, and my instinct was to follow her, but who am I to her? And so I stay put and follow the rest of the caravan back to the main camp.
"You're lucky to have an audience with the Lady, runt" one of gov'ness' companion knocked me to the dirt, assuming that he's doing it out of spite and jealousy. I can see him walking to gov'ness
"I apologize for my companion's doing" another of gov'ness', as he extends his fingers that allowed me to stand to my feet "Lucius was indeed jealous, he was our best melee combatant and our Primarch haven't even bat an eye for him"
"Is that a rare thing?" Lucius and the gov'ness seems to enter the structure, doing their business there. I quickly glance at my watch, the gray sky seems to be forever, and it shows 1641. And I quickly look back at the gov'ness companion
"It is, perhaps Mother saw something within you, perhaps yours was interesting at the moment" the giant release his helmet, letting his bronze hair free from the confine "I am Rylanor, pleasure to meet you, Musa"
"As is mine, gov'nor"
The Sejm was delightful in seeing Fulgrim and her companions, as well as the news of the apparent victory on the frontlines. Such delight warrants them to spent their moneys on a grand feast right at the capital, inviting everyone within range to attend, with the guest of honor being the gov'ness herself.
"I would have thought you are with Mother, Musa" Rylanor brought two plates in his palm, the plate whom was enough for me was made miniscule by his hands, each contained meager food they could thrown
"Thanks, gov'nor" the feast gives us chair to sit, yet here I stand with him, outside of the building. Somehow the gov'nor chose to make a companion out of me, whilst gov'ness over there busy herself with her empire in the suns.
"I almost forgot what a food taste, Musa, back in the campaign, we would be served liquid ration with occasional starch" I took a look at him, and his plate was already cleaned
"You should try my cooking then, I cook better"
We let a simple laugh from the situation, from a soldier to another, from a human to another too. The door barges open and whom I thought to be Lucius emerge, escaping the feast.
"It's obnoxious inside, Rylanor, if you wish to see me, then don't, I'm heading to the nearest landing coordinate" and went he goes, somewhere place only he, gov'nor and gov'ness know. Something that I would not understand no matter how much gov'nor taught me.
"I have to agree with dear Lucius there" and speak of the gov'ness, and she shall came, looking at the horizon "they barely separate the nobility and the peasant"
I didn't mean to stare, but gov'ness wore something fine, something you'd see from paintings high in temple's ceiling, an ascendant of man. Looking carefully, it seems she wore old Nagorovian dress and modify it to suit her stature, or rather, her figure. She need not a corset, it seems.
"The food is delectable, Mother" Rylanor already took my plate without my knowing, something that I relent
"Every food is delectable when you are starved of them, dear Rylanor"
We all watched as a star suddenly rose at the horizon, perhaps something to do with Lucius and his departure. I suppose this is our future, being shackled by another uncaring emperor to fight the dangers of mankind.
"Say, Rylanor, but does that star seems approaching us?" and behind Lucius' ascend, a second star indeed looks as if its getting nearer. Just before I respond, nor gov'nor did for that matter, the air raid sirens blare and screech
"It is too late to dodge the missile, Mother, and I am the only one still wearing my armor, I would suggest taking a shield behind me" Rylanor easily stood and tower over us. I didn't even wait as I quickly take cover.
"Don't be ridiculous, Rylanor, these brutes couldn't even muster the technology to weaponize simple nuclear reaction" Rylanor didn't wait and cover me with his entire figure, and I just prayed that whatever nuclear is nor what reaction it cause would not be as devastating as I'd fear.
The moment of impact was blurry, but there was an apparent pain riddled to it, as the temperature rose akin to a sun blasting us with the heat. Like what was drilled into my head, I quickly wrap my entire face with anything, covering up the assuredly loud aftermath and the shrapnel flying around. I couldn't hear
And I wish I wouldn't hear
By the time the air around began to cool, my throat was hoarse, as if I have been shouting the entire time. It wasn't until I noticed the spasmic movement on my mouth that I realized, I have been barking around.
"At ease, gov'nor, at ease lads" I chanted
"It seems it was a nuclear explosion, Mother, albeit a primitive version of it" Rylanor seems to ignore my rant, addressing the gov'ness instead. He then release me, before coughing up liquids right at my face "apologies" he mumbles
"Be damned your humor, Rylanor" I hear the gov'ness, rasping in breath as I slowly gather my senses "Musa, you lived it seems" my eyes were blinking rapidly, due to the heat and the dust it caused "oh Rylanor, I apologized for your condition".
When my eyes fully recovered, I saw only desolation. No Man's Land was gentler than this, water and mud found refuge within them after all. But what I saw was beyond it, ruins and dry earth, trees and building charred, and people would likely evaporate. Peoples, on whom I was fighting with and fighting for, for two damned years. I couldn't take it anymore, first Maria and now this? Fate was far too cruel
Liquid barge through my mouth, followed close by every air in my lungs and waters in my eyes. There was no rythym, only that I was doing it in instinct, lying on all fours at the stairs near the gov'nor and gov'ness.
Only then did I brave to stand up, looking at them and the impact it caused. Gov'nor seems to be stuck in his place, unable to move as his hair rotted away and flesh melts to his armor. Now I understand why did he puke. The gov'ness was way less impacted, as her clothing burnt with the flesh on her skins, with her lying on her back.
"Cease your staring, Musa" she quickly commanded
"Yes ma'am" I quickly slap my cheek, a soldier need to finish his duties until the bitter end, and the enemy was no better after all "orders, gov'ness?"
"You're waiting for my orders?" she slowly sat herself, throwing out blood from her mouth while her arms sizzle and creates smoke "so it seems, help me get to one of landing coordinates" when she did sat, she saw her own legs, crushed from the debris of the railings and burnt to crisp "it seems I would have to relegate the matter of combat to you"
"Private Musa at the ready, gov'ness" so soon to serve this faraway empire, and my first duty is to escape the chaos that will ensue. And first, I need to find a cart or I will be carrying the giant on my back
"Musa, before you go" Rylanor rasp and wheeze as he reach for something, before he carved it with letters and numbers "you are familiar with latitudes and longitudes of your planet, I assume, and if not then you can ask Mother for direction" he gave me the knife, on which he have engraved numbers.
"And what will happen to you, gov'nor?" I took the knife and pocket it, then looking back at the gov'ness
"I will be fine, Musa, all I ask is that you deliver Mother there to the place, and rest assured that you will be awarded"
I ignore the last part, something about the futility in wealth and glory that I realized, living as a cook my entire life before becoming a soldier taught me that. I quickly strip my clothing, and though I have to face the cold soon, finding the gov'ness means of transportation is more valuable. I quickly wrapped the gov'ness legs with a shirt, then I cut another of my shirt into pieces before I wrapped it at her so I can carry her off, my suspender helped in holding her together too
"Something tells me I won't enjoy the journey" Fulgrim murmurs as she rest on my shoulder
"Be safe Mother, I pray that Musa will be sufficient to you"
submitted by Cultural_Sleep9678 to PrimarchGFs [link] [comments]
"I was a cook when the war started, gov'ness" and now I am left wondering why did she chose me from anyone else in the caravan, there's the sergeant, the whom she asked to see earlier today.
"You have been trusted to cook rations for your company, as early as the war?" her baroque companion, similarly donned in her armor, walks close by ours, but never overtook us.
"No, gov'ness, I was a 10 years old when the war started, the war went for seven years and I fought for the last two" before she came, with weapons of the stars that could've decimate my trench instead of theirs
"Such a young man you are, seven years ago, the Emperor grants me audience, revealing that I was his progenitor"
This talk about an "imperium" across the stars and the deified emperor has gotten me worried. Is that her reason for talking to me, to ease my pain before sending me to the stars far from here? Or simply an act of pity?
The meager town came into view, and was it not for the ancient structure, we would've thought this was anywhere but the capital. Gray skies and beaten earth have become the synonym for the heart of Nagorow.
"I must say, this was not our expectation when your leader came into contact with my ship, begging for salvation" the gov'ness depart from me, and my instinct was to follow her, but who am I to her? And so I stay put and follow the rest of the caravan back to the main camp.
"You're lucky to have an audience with the Lady, runt" one of gov'ness' companion knocked me to the dirt, assuming that he's doing it out of spite and jealousy. I can see him walking to gov'ness
"I apologize for my companion's doing" another of gov'ness', as he extends his fingers that allowed me to stand to my feet "Lucius was indeed jealous, he was our best melee combatant and our Primarch haven't even bat an eye for him"
"Is that a rare thing?" Lucius and the gov'ness seems to enter the structure, doing their business there. I quickly glance at my watch, the gray sky seems to be forever, and it shows 1641. And I quickly look back at the gov'ness companion
"It is, perhaps Mother saw something within you, perhaps yours was interesting at the moment" the giant release his helmet, letting his bronze hair free from the confine "I am Rylanor, pleasure to meet you, Musa"
"As is mine, gov'nor"
"I would have thought you are with Mother, Musa" Rylanor brought two plates in his palm, the plate whom was enough for me was made miniscule by his hands, each contained meager food they could thrown
"Thanks, gov'nor" the feast gives us chair to sit, yet here I stand with him, outside of the building. Somehow the gov'nor chose to make a companion out of me, whilst gov'ness over there busy herself with her empire in the suns.
"I almost forgot what a food taste, Musa, back in the campaign, we would be served liquid ration with occasional starch" I took a look at him, and his plate was already cleaned
"You should try my cooking then, I cook better"
We let a simple laugh from the situation, from a soldier to another, from a human to another too. The door barges open and whom I thought to be Lucius emerge, escaping the feast.
"It's obnoxious inside, Rylanor, if you wish to see me, then don't, I'm heading to the nearest landing coordinate" and went he goes, somewhere place only he, gov'nor and gov'ness know. Something that I would not understand no matter how much gov'nor taught me.
"I have to agree with dear Lucius there" and speak of the gov'ness, and she shall came, looking at the horizon "they barely separate the nobility and the peasant"
I didn't mean to stare, but gov'ness wore something fine, something you'd see from paintings high in temple's ceiling, an ascendant of man. Looking carefully, it seems she wore old Nagorovian dress and modify it to suit her stature, or rather, her figure. She need not a corset, it seems.
"The food is delectable, Mother" Rylanor already took my plate without my knowing, something that I relent
"Every food is delectable when you are starved of them, dear Rylanor"
We all watched as a star suddenly rose at the horizon, perhaps something to do with Lucius and his departure. I suppose this is our future, being shackled by another uncaring emperor to fight the dangers of mankind.
"Say, Rylanor, but does that star seems approaching us?" and behind Lucius' ascend, a second star indeed looks as if its getting nearer. Just before I respond, nor gov'nor did for that matter, the air raid sirens blare and screech
"It is too late to dodge the missile, Mother, and I am the only one still wearing my armor, I would suggest taking a shield behind me" Rylanor easily stood and tower over us. I didn't even wait as I quickly take cover.
"Don't be ridiculous, Rylanor, these brutes couldn't even muster the technology to weaponize simple nuclear reaction" Rylanor didn't wait and cover me with his entire figure, and I just prayed that whatever nuclear is nor what reaction it cause would not be as devastating as I'd fear.
The moment of impact was blurry, but there was an apparent pain riddled to it, as the temperature rose akin to a sun blasting us with the heat. Like what was drilled into my head, I quickly wrap my entire face with anything, covering up the assuredly loud aftermath and the shrapnel flying around. I couldn't hear
And I wish I wouldn't hear
By the time the air around began to cool, my throat was hoarse, as if I have been shouting the entire time. It wasn't until I noticed the spasmic movement on my mouth that I realized, I have been barking around.
"At ease, gov'nor, at ease lads" I chanted
"It seems it was a nuclear explosion, Mother, albeit a primitive version of it" Rylanor seems to ignore my rant, addressing the gov'ness instead. He then release me, before coughing up liquids right at my face "apologies" he mumbles
"Be damned your humor, Rylanor" I hear the gov'ness, rasping in breath as I slowly gather my senses "Musa, you lived it seems" my eyes were blinking rapidly, due to the heat and the dust it caused "oh Rylanor, I apologized for your condition".
When my eyes fully recovered, I saw only desolation. No Man's Land was gentler than this, water and mud found refuge within them after all. But what I saw was beyond it, ruins and dry earth, trees and building charred, and people would likely evaporate. Peoples, on whom I was fighting with and fighting for, for two damned years. I couldn't take it anymore, first Maria and now this? Fate was far too cruel
Liquid barge through my mouth, followed close by every air in my lungs and waters in my eyes. There was no rythym, only that I was doing it in instinct, lying on all fours at the stairs near the gov'nor and gov'ness.
Only then did I brave to stand up, looking at them and the impact it caused. Gov'nor seems to be stuck in his place, unable to move as his hair rotted away and flesh melts to his armor. Now I understand why did he puke. The gov'ness was way less impacted, as her clothing burnt with the flesh on her skins, with her lying on her back.
"Cease your staring, Musa" she quickly commanded
"Yes ma'am" I quickly slap my cheek, a soldier need to finish his duties until the bitter end, and the enemy was no better after all "orders, gov'ness?"
"You're waiting for my orders?" she slowly sat herself, throwing out blood from her mouth while her arms sizzle and creates smoke "so it seems, help me get to one of landing coordinates" when she did sat, she saw her own legs, crushed from the debris of the railings and burnt to crisp "it seems I would have to relegate the matter of combat to you"
"Private Musa at the ready, gov'ness" so soon to serve this faraway empire, and my first duty is to escape the chaos that will ensue. And first, I need to find a cart or I will be carrying the giant on my back
"Musa, before you go" Rylanor rasp and wheeze as he reach for something, before he carved it with letters and numbers "you are familiar with latitudes and longitudes of your planet, I assume, and if not then you can ask Mother for direction" he gave me the knife, on which he have engraved numbers.
"And what will happen to you, gov'nor?" I took the knife and pocket it, then looking back at the gov'ness
"I will be fine, Musa, all I ask is that you deliver Mother there to the place, and rest assured that you will be awarded"
I ignore the last part, something about the futility in wealth and glory that I realized, living as a cook my entire life before becoming a soldier taught me that. I quickly strip my clothing, and though I have to face the cold soon, finding the gov'ness means of transportation is more valuable. I quickly wrapped the gov'ness legs with a shirt, then I cut another of my shirt into pieces before I wrapped it at her so I can carry her off, my suspender helped in holding her together too
"Something tells me I won't enjoy the journey" Fulgrim murmurs as she rest on my shoulder
"Be safe Mother, I pray that Musa will be sufficient to you"
2024.05.19 16:37 Hey_86thatnow Story-what one dBPD father is like and how I survive
 | Thank goodness for this community. Reading such common experiences helps me immensely, so I wanted to share mine and see if it resonates with you all. submitted by Hey_86thatnow to raisedbyborderlines [link] [comments] Dad was diagnosed about 20 years ago by a marriage counselor. She then “fired” him from her practice, saying his marriage was beyond help because of it. Apparently, this rejection is common among BPD patients…implying it's unfixable, Since then, the ICD-11 has added a category called “difficult personalities disorder” probably to umbrella in the people who don’t fit neatly into the “5 of 9 traits” required for complete BPD diagnosis. Interestingly, he’s not unfaithful or suicidal, he kept the same job for decades, he can be fun and loving. But he rants, he overeats, he splits and denies, he isolates, he ruminates and fears, he blames and attacks and projects his self-esteem issues onto others...mostly me. First, he was a very loving father when we were kids, attentive and supportive. And then a fantastic grandfather to my sons-loving, etc.. keeping his worst traits in check most of the time with all of us when we were young. (Not with Mom, however.) It’s as if because his childhood was tough, he sees all children as underdogs who need special care. I will always be thankful for my childhood, for it laid the ground work for my self-esteem. However, he was rougher on my brother as a kid than on me, pushing, verbally abusing, etc.. This swapped as we both reached puberty. I realize this has something to do with his view of women, his wife and his own mother. As I became a woman, I became threatening, which appears common among BPD fathers. He then let my brother off the hook, where I got the laser focused judgment and anger. This is not to say he never loses his temper with my brother, he just tends to wait until the situation is severe (like brother getting arrested for DUI.) whereas I got attacked because I had 4 framed pictures of one son and 5 of our other son displayed in my den. Dad went on a level ten verbal attack. “What kind of a mother…rantrantrant” jamming the extra picture in my face. Walking around counting them sounds irrational doesn’t it? I met a visiting high school friend at Chili’s for dinner, and asked Mom to babysit, and I hear, “What kind of a mother goes to a bar and leaves her kids, rantrantrant.” Chili’s? Meanwhile, my brother can brag about sexual conquests, even when married. I have three college degrees—Dad never says a word. My brother flunked out of college, but Dad lies to everyone bro won a free ride to a prestigious university in our state. He paints my brother with all the best traits of my mother, but projects all his worst traits onto me. The irony is, I am very like my mother; my brother is not. But I am the scapegoat now, and brother is the golden child. This behavior and thinking is called splitting, or black and white thinking. It is so bad, that my father bought my brother a house when bro struggled financially. He has not had rent or a mortgage or land tax for over ten years. Me? Different story; everything I have, I earned and paid for. Mom kept a list of money they gave my brother over the years for cars or lawyers, etc. Not counting the free house, his column equals $64k. My column? Zero. (And I’m the “good” kid, responsible, there for my parents.) It’s taken a very long time for me to grasp that no matter how illogical or unfair it is, it won’t change—it is part of the disorder. I tell myself to be proud that I can make my own way without help. Dad’s impulsive, hair trigger temper over things that wouldn’t bother anyone else is profound. I’m exhausted from walking on eggshells, though avoiding conflict is so much better than entering it. He never hit us, but throws things, breaks our valuables (like Mom’s great-great grandmother’s rocker), curses, yells, screams. As a kid, I watched him fracture his wrist punching the wall when angry at Mom. He has had security remove him 3 times from my hospital room (two surgeries, one illness.) once because I told my mother about Christmas present ideas for my brother (and apparently should have been discussing my niece instead.) Who cares I had just had an 8 level spinal surgery the day before; Dad jumped out of his chair, livid, “You are forgetting someone aren’t you! Aren’t you.” He lost his cool the time I’d had surgery after a bike wreck, screaming he’d never let me see my mother again, and he’d write me out of the will. All I had done was interrupt him while he was talking. Security escorted him out. It was so ugly, one son refused to talk to him for months, shocked after witnessing it. My father told him that it was no big deal—that was just how he and I related, it was just our dynamic. My son said, "My mother never behaves that way and did nothing wrong," and hung up on him. Dad begged me to call my son and take some of the blame. IOW Dad cannot see his part in things. He sees reactions as proof that his anger is justified. Who cares how he causes these reactions. (Who cares that I was lying disabled in a hospital bed.) He is angered by the oddest things, the most innocuous things. He once followed a woman around at a party and purposefully interrupted her everytime she opened her mouth, then bragged later that he did this. He felt she was always cutting him off at past functions. Being interrupted is his hottest button. He wants everyone to listen to every last detail of whatever he has to say. And if you listen, but look like you aren’t, that’s as bad as interrupting him. But does he interrupt you? Of course he does, all the time, bored with what you want to say. He loves to get people’s goats, saying or doing very calculated things that he knows will annoy Mom or me or whomever. He has never physically hurt anyone, but mock something embarrassing from your past? He’s all over that. You can watch his face when he says provocative things on purpose—he’s just hoping you will ignite. When I wrecked my bike, instead of helping me up, he literally took pictures of me on the ground. Then showed the pictures to my brother, saying “What kind of an idiot rides a bike when she’s had spinal surgery” (8 years before). BPDs triangulate, and often lack compassion. When it comes to me and Mom, his favorite hostile line is “What kind of a___________does__________” When I went to take my mother to see my aunt and uncle, Dad tried to tag along, and my relatives said, "Please, if he wants to come, we'll have to disinvite you. We can't take anymore." he had been so hostile the last time they say him and made my aunt cry. He has no idea his behavior has this effect on people. He talks all about himself, and if he asks you a rare question about you, it is so he can then talk about himself. It’s like he thinks the type of lunch the kid ate (whom he sat next to in the third grade) is talk-show-worthy chitchat. But will cut you off in a second if you have something more pressing or recent to discuss. He’s very emotional and affectionate verbally and physically, but if you try to share your deeper thoughts or concerns, he gets very awkward and uncomfortable, and dismissive. BPDs struggle with intimacy and bonds. His narcissism is so bad, that when Mom died last year, he wrote her obituary, but 60% of it was about himself. When the newspaper edited out all the stuff about Dad, Dad called me fuming, accusing me of calling the paper to edit it. He still believes that. He also refused to let anyone have a memorial service/funeral-her ashes are still in the box from the crematory-- but later that summer, he started telling me what he wants me to do for his funeral. (We did a small family dinner in honor of Mom without him.) He is mistrustful and suspicious. He tends to take the other person’s side in regards to me, never trusting my perspective. If someone is offensive to me (like a boss who was angry when I refused to work from home while I was taking FMLA/disability pay after childbirth, or my ex who wasn’t paying child support) Dad took their side. I had to be the problem. When my husband was sent to a job site out of town, Dad thinks he asked to be assigned there to get away from me. (But says, “I just worry, and want you to be happy.”) When I get a text sent by a male friend to both me and my hubby’s phone inviting us both to dinner, he thinks there’s something fishy going on there with me and the man (and funny enough, I am certain Dad never cheated on Mom.) He throws cash around as presents, especially to the grandchildren, but even to people the rest of us wouldn’t include (ie. my husband’s brother-in-law’s niece-whom we barely know, my mother’s distant relatives whom no one has met, or my ex who hasn’t talked to him in decades, etc) It seems like a way to get their admiration or attention. He is always writing me in and out of the will, as if he’s the czar of millions. People with personality disorders are very manipulative or odd with gifts. He has zero friends, but talks all the time about people he knew as a kid. Where are they now? I’ve never met anyone from his childhood other than family- no cards, no messages, nothing. And no one from his life as an adult is close to him. My parents’ friendships came through Mom. I can sadly say, in a crisis, if Dad really needed to call someone and talk, only family is there (and that is only because we are compassionate, forgiving people). But funny enough, when he is in a social setting, he is not shy but wants to talk and entertain and be the center of the party. He loves to take people to task, often loudly and cruelly. Waitresses, nurses, cashiers all get dressed down and confronted for any perceived mistake. More than one doctor or service provider has hung up on him or yelled back at him. I witnessed this again in just the past two weeks, for Dad had a minor heart procedure. He wanted to tell each doctor and nurse the most irrelevant stuff, starting from the beginning of time…and would get mad if they didn’t let him. His cardiologist snapped at one point, “I need you to just give me quick answers!” so Dad yelled, and the guy walked out. Interestingly, I found an article, advice for doctors and nurses on how to handle illnesses when the patient also suffers from BPD. The descriptions were my father, to a T. One of piece of advice said something like beware of compliments and ignore criticism. Dad has been tossing the compliments around like confetti, “OH, Nurse, so and so, YOU are my number one.” But when his demands are not met immediately, he acts like a baby. And he keeps insulting me infront of doctors or nurses, applying his faults to me; “She’s stubborn, she has nasty temper.” I can be just standing there silently, and he says this. He said, to one doctor, “Don’t mind her, she’s very overbearing and headstrong…but in a good way.” I’d had enough, so I said, “There’s no reason to insult me, Dad.” He argued, “Oh, you didn’t hear my compliment. That was a compliment!” The doctor said, “If that was a compliment, it was a backhanded compliment." I could have hugged her. The worst part of being raised by a BPD? If I report any of this back to him, he will swear none of it is true. Gaslighting is their favorite manipulation, suggesting my perceptions are wrong. Either that, or he is in some sort of fugue when he acts so badly. How do I deal with all this? Often I don’t. Mom used to be a good buffer, til she developed ALZ and then Dad forced me to go through him, never allowing me to be alone with her. This hurt. Mom and I were very close, and before she lost her mind, we had many discussions about whether she should live with me instead. But BPD men get fixated on their mates, and he saw her as only his, not important to me or my brother or her grandchildren. (He even resented their dogs, because Mom "loved them more.") Even much younger, if I called to talk to Mom, Dad would rush the phone so I would have to talk to him first. So often I’d wait til she called me first. And now that he is all alone and his son mostly ignores him, My husband and our sons are the only ones really watching out for him. I use as much compassionate thinking as I can and remember that he got this way because he had a rough childhood (and I think the disorder runs in families—I really do.) His father died when Dad was 7. His immigrant mother could not read or write and she was raising 4 young kids by herself. Neglect, food insecurity and possible social rejection made a deep scar. I know that at the bottom of all this, Dad cannot, because of BPS, really ever trust that anyone loves him. So I do what I can, take long breaks, bite my tongue as much as possible, set boundaries, and leave when need to. To help, I come here and read very similar experiences in order to remember, IT’s NOT ME. But still, with this hospitalizing where he's milking the attention for all it's worth, I want to explode. I'm going to have a stroke if I have to spend this much time with him for much longer. During his surgery I was totally torn, hoping he would die, but very sad that he might. That’s some sucky head space. It was easier when Mom was alive and sane... Right now, I’m finding him assisted living, but he keeps threatening to rip out his IVs and go home. He can’t. He used to say, whoever took him in when he was old, would get all the money, and I’d say, “Have fun living with my brother.” But of course, none of that is true. I’m so resentful that I’m the one solving his health crisis. But also, in honor of Mom and my childhood, I love him and won’t dump him. I won't let him live with me, but I won't dump him. Thank you all, for totally understanding this dichotomy. Can you relate? What would you do? https://preview.redd.it/5b7pb27vbe1d1.jpg?width=4128&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=134bd4bbdf57fb8f83e139b42feb6459b3af79aa |
2024.05.19 16:21 wasmormon I felt pressure to conform to church standards and believe things that I didn’t care about. I was a Mormon.
 | Growing up in Utah within a devout Mormon family, Rosana inherited her parents’ beliefs but soon found herself grappling with the suffocating pressures of conformity and cultural expectations. Despite her upbringing in a community steeped in faith, Rosana’s experience with church rituals and teachings left her feeling disconnected and disillusioned. The rigid standards imposed by the Mormon culture clashed with Rosana’s innate sense of self, leading to a profound internal struggle and a desperate quest for liberation. Against the backdrop of financial strain and familial discord, Rosana’s journey was fraught with emotional turmoil and abuse, highlighting the devastating impact of religious indoctrination on individual well-being. Through introspection and resilience, Rosana ultimately found the courage to break free from the shackles of Mormonism, reclaiming her autonomy and charting a path toward healing and self-discovery. Her story underscores the importance of fostering open dialogue, empathy, and mental health awareness within religious communities, offering hope and inspiration to those navigating similar struggles. submitted by wasmormon to exmormon [link] [comments] I never liked church starting at the primary age. It was boring with weird stories with weird names and was a confusing language. Listening to the congregation sing was depressing it sounded like torture not a celebration of worship. I had crippling shyness and I didn’t like singing and I didn’t like dresses and I always felt pressure from my peers and the culture to be outgoing and share my testimony boldly. There weren’t real discussions about struggling with my beliefs or my family issues. The main message that came across was fitting in, being loyal and having strong faith. It seemed unacceptable if you or your family doubted any beliefs or weren’t fitting the Mormon mold. My family has consistently struggled financially. When my brother and I were children my mother didn’t work and stayed at home as the Mormon religion promotes. My father always worked and his goal seemed to be focused on providing for his family. He had ambitions and was impressive in my eyes especially since he originated from a poor farm in Delta, Utah to becoming a refined car sales man in Salt Lake City. During my teens we lived in an undesirable house. It was not the typical cookie cutter Mormon family house and it was, at best a fixer upper. I believe that’s when my mother’s mental health turned for the worst because she couldn’t fit in and get the life she wanted fast enough. She wanted the cookie cutter Mormon life with a large house in a neighborhood and to have lots more children than what she had. All our anxieties were focused on the threat of going without essentials and I remember shameful periods of time that our electricity was actually shut off. Taking showers surrounded by mold and without any light while my mother pretended that nothing was wrong was very difficult. I believe that the childhood trauma that my mother experienced caused mental illness and resentment. Those experiences combined with the Mormon culture developed into abusive situations. My mother’s temper and emotions always seemed to rule our household. I’ve always known her to be emotionally distant, rarely nurturing or comforting especially with me and I can remember this treatment as early as 6 years old. The dysfunction in my close family became readily apparent during my teens. Backhanded compliments, silent treatment and passive aggressiveness towards me was a daily occurrence from my mother. I began to notice the contrasting behavior my mother had outside of the home. Smiling and pleasant as if there were no issues. My father rarely attended church or activities in my teens. Our congregation and neighborhood consisted of families who were well off and secure in their finances who also had large families with lots of children. I believe the shame my father learned from his peers and the stark differences in family dynamics made a very uncomfortable environment for him. I believe that he was pressured and shamed by my mother because she was demanding for him alone to provide her fantasy life. In the Mormon culture I learned to judge and fear those people who are not part of the Mormon faith. I never viewed my father in a negative way, I had empathy for him and I trusted him. My mother made it vocally clear that the congregation especially the bishopric were pressuring her to convince my father to attend church and that she was frustrated and uncomfortable with it. When I was in middle school my mother’s emotional abuse escalated towards me enough for her to start a physical fight once, I tried to fight her but ended up running off the property. I never fit in with my community and never considered anyone, any neighbors a true ally. I felt alone without any support. No one ever talked to me about my family issues. No one saw my mother’s abuse. I was constantly told who I was supposed to be in this life, how I was supposed to act and feel and that never aligned with my soul. I was told to date a certain way, to get married a specific way to a specific type of person and I was supposed to make babies. I felt pressure to conform to church standards and believe things that I didn’t care about. I knew from a young age that I never wanted to birth children, I never wanted to be a mother… just look at the one I had. I was constantly told that bringing souls to earth was my overall life purpose by my church leaders. It was even in my patriarchal blessing! My mother always felt burdened by her kids except when it came to the topic of giving her grandchildren. She felt entitled to a better life but was unable or unwilling to go get it. I wasn’t going to follow her footsteps. I didn’t want to be with my family together forever. This is just the tip of the iceberg. It would take me through a temple marriage and a divorce, cutting ties with my family and up until age 28 to finally say “Enough!” and walk away from the torture of the Mormon religion. Realistic conversations, belief struggles and mental health topics need to be more common in any religion. Heaven knows it would have helped me. Rosanna |
2024.05.19 16:18 No_Stress3476 6'4" black man from Toronto - my story of sexual frustration, not being able to move out of my parents, and why I feel hopeless after embracing the blackpill
Background - growing up I was socially stunted. Had a few flings in uni but since moving back home (Toronto is uber expensive and on my salary im afford to move out), dating has been a struggle. Im a 6'4" black dude who thinks of himself as well-rounded (I dress as well as I can, hit the gym 4 times a week, read a lot and am a history nerd generally while still liking "cool" stuff like watching basketball and listening to rap). The last 7 years I have spent trying to learn daygame, nightgame, because I am generally unable to have a fulfilling dating life off the apps.Unfortunately now Im at the point where im banned from tinder for making accounts too many times, hinge is very on and off (get quite a few matches but they rarely respond), and last few dates ive been on the girl has been less attractive than her pic and I cut things off. I am completely stuck in my head and unfortunately over past few years have embraced a bit of the blackpill mindset where literally your face is the #1 most important thing that matters to a woman. Walking around yesterday seeing couples of all shapes and sizes made me start to question my sanity. I start to think "wtf is so wrong with me" that not a single decently attractive woman would be open to starting a conversation with me? While I would love to embrace the Passport bros lifestyle, unfortunately right now my job ties me to this goddamn city. If men shorter than me and uglier than me are having no problem finding a decent relationship, its like what the fuck is wrong with me? I feel as though I am a complete repellant to women and as a man pushing 30 Im really starting to worry. I def want a long-term partner and family one day, but right now I feel that is unattainable. I'm not even looking for a long-term partner at this second just because I feel I have missed out on so many formative experiences with women, so right now I just wanna live the seduction reddit lifestyle. It's gotten so bad that ive been sleeping with escorts just to get myself off and prevent myself from going crazy - even though I know that shit is killing me on the inside. Starting to wonder if maybe my standards are too high, although i tend to think my standards are reasonable.
submitted by No_Stress3476 to thepassportbros [link] [comments]
2024.05.19 16:13 Primary_Warthog_5308 I hate that asking/having someone apply sunscreen to your back has been sexualized by society
To start off, I am pale AF. Think whiter than a piece of paper. If I don’t apply sunscreen, I don’t just burn, I fry. My skin will turn stop sign red if I so much as LOOK outside at noon without applying sunscreen. Then when the burn peels, I go back to being as white as a glass of milk. If I’m outdoors, I apply sunscreen every two hours like clockwork. Don’t get me wrong, I see beauty in my skin, but I’ve also accepted the reality of life is I have to bathe in sunscreen on the regular.
The thing that sucks is I have to keep in mind if I want to wear something sleeveless or just with straps, I have to keep in mind if I have someone around who can apply sunscreen to my back. And it’s more complicated than you would think. My friends are great. They accept me for the pasty person I am and won’t give me any trouble if I ask for help putting on sunscreen. But other people? For some reason having another person put sunscreen on your back is weird. Like I’ve been out with FAMILY (siblings and parents) and gotten weird “I don’t want to do that” looks when I’ve been at the beach and asked if anyone can put sunscreen on my back. My mom has always done it no problem, but fuck why would anyone give their sister a side eye when they ask if someone can put sunscreen on me? It is common knowledge in my family that I burn VERY EASILY.
I’ve had a (very conservative Christian) guy I was dating think I was TRYING TO SEDUCE HIM OR BE INAPPROPRIATE by asking him to apply sunscreen on my back before a first date. I wore a sundress that day and usually I would wear a bolero to cover my shoulders and could apply my own sunscreen, but I had lent it to a friend to wear to her brother’s funeral and hadn’t received it back yet. At a later date he admitted he wasn’t sure what to make of me because I had asked him to apply sunscreen to my back. Glad that one didn’t last.
I remember after getting married joking that one of the perks was I always had someone around who would be comfortable applying sunscreen to my back. Now my husband has a job where he works a lot of weekends and I’m back to either relying on the kindness of people around me or just wearing stuff that enables me to apply my own sunscreen because as much as I love my 4 year old, I do not trust them to thoroughly apply sunscreen to my back. Some things ok with giving up. For example I wear a swim shirt and swim capris to water activities and it’s great because my toddler doesn’t have to wait for me to apply a ton sunscreen.
But sun dresses… man, I wish I could just wear them whenever I want. But I can’t because a lot of them are spaghetti straps or sleeveless and I won’t always have someone around who can properly apply sunscreen. I have to make sure they at least have the shoulders and back covered enough that I can apply my sunscreen myself. I’ve tried just using the spray sunscreen, but I’ve literally been burned by not being able to rub it in properly.
Maybe this might be a small thing to some, but it just goes to show how certain things being sexualized can affect our everyday lives.
submitted by Primary_Warthog_5308 to TwoXChromosomes [link] [comments]
The thing that sucks is I have to keep in mind if I want to wear something sleeveless or just with straps, I have to keep in mind if I have someone around who can apply sunscreen to my back. And it’s more complicated than you would think. My friends are great. They accept me for the pasty person I am and won’t give me any trouble if I ask for help putting on sunscreen. But other people? For some reason having another person put sunscreen on your back is weird. Like I’ve been out with FAMILY (siblings and parents) and gotten weird “I don’t want to do that” looks when I’ve been at the beach and asked if anyone can put sunscreen on my back. My mom has always done it no problem, but fuck why would anyone give their sister a side eye when they ask if someone can put sunscreen on me? It is common knowledge in my family that I burn VERY EASILY.
I’ve had a (very conservative Christian) guy I was dating think I was TRYING TO SEDUCE HIM OR BE INAPPROPRIATE by asking him to apply sunscreen on my back before a first date. I wore a sundress that day and usually I would wear a bolero to cover my shoulders and could apply my own sunscreen, but I had lent it to a friend to wear to her brother’s funeral and hadn’t received it back yet. At a later date he admitted he wasn’t sure what to make of me because I had asked him to apply sunscreen to my back. Glad that one didn’t last.
I remember after getting married joking that one of the perks was I always had someone around who would be comfortable applying sunscreen to my back. Now my husband has a job where he works a lot of weekends and I’m back to either relying on the kindness of people around me or just wearing stuff that enables me to apply my own sunscreen because as much as I love my 4 year old, I do not trust them to thoroughly apply sunscreen to my back. Some things ok with giving up. For example I wear a swim shirt and swim capris to water activities and it’s great because my toddler doesn’t have to wait for me to apply a ton sunscreen.
But sun dresses… man, I wish I could just wear them whenever I want. But I can’t because a lot of them are spaghetti straps or sleeveless and I won’t always have someone around who can properly apply sunscreen. I have to make sure they at least have the shoulders and back covered enough that I can apply my sunscreen myself. I’ve tried just using the spray sunscreen, but I’ve literally been burned by not being able to rub it in properly.
Maybe this might be a small thing to some, but it just goes to show how certain things being sexualized can affect our everyday lives.
2024.05.19 16:11 Manjusri Earthsea Cycle book #4 - Tehanu by Ursula K. Le Guin - Chapter 11 In-depth Summary
Chapter 11 - Home
The ship arrives in port to songs from the Deed of Morred. A funny exchange occurs where Apple's friend Shinny (Shandy) sees Tenar on board the ship and says, "'Maybe it's his mother,'" only for Apple to say actually it is a mother (well, her's). Tenar and Therru disembark from the ship in rather royal fashion before it leaves again. Apple greets them warmly and is apparently on very familiar terms with Therru (Apple picks her up), however that night Apple is a bit apprehensive toward her mother, apparently she had never given much thought to the songs about her mom. She calls her a "'...king-kisser....'" A couple days later they all leave Apple's home and go to the farm, along the river Kaheda in the late summer. Apple comments on Therru's health and Tenar lets slip she was stronger before the incident, and then tells Apple about it (Apple is familiar with Therru's past). We find out that the one that was likely Therru's father is called Hake. In recalling Handy's motions she oddly can't remember Aspen's name except for the Kargish word for a type of tree. Apple says they haven't seen anyone from that group, and Tenar takes some joy that her daughter is mothering her mother. They consider a dog (again), though humorously Tenar is mostly thinking of a puppy for Therru (she already plays with an animal anyway, right? Well, a weird bone doll, close enough). They arrive at Lark's and it's a warm homecoming, it had apparently been two months since their departure to Ogion's. Tenar is reluctant to tell the story about their adventure but absolutely gushes about the king, says he appeared like a sword (which is actually one of his names, Arren). They talk about the king and the wizard, Shinny arrives and they have quite the supper, even Therru warms except for her keeping an eye on the window as it grew darker out.
Later, while Apple sings Therru to sleep, Tenar finally asks Shandy, who is helping wash up, about Ged (who somehow was never mentioned to Lark and Apple, all of Tenar's remembrances about Re Albi seemed to be muddled, "darkened"). Shandy says there wasn't work for him here, but that he got some on recommendation and so was off in a high pasture, maybe even herding goats, and would be back down the mountain in autumn. Maybe that was for the best, maybe this was home now and all that of Re Albi was behind them. Tenar slept that night, dreamless. Tenar keeps busy homesteading and the like, and eventually finished the red dress she had started for Therru. Therru is expressionless and turns away from it, and Tenar says, "'...People see the scars. But they see you, too, and you aren't the scars. You aren't ugly. You aren't evil. You are Therru, and beautiful....'" Therru calls the dress beautiful (touching Tenar's fingers, not the dress), and Tenar understands something, "She had done right to make the dress, and she had spoken the truth to the child. But it was not enough, the right and the truth. There was a gap, a void, a gulf, on beyond the right and the truth. Love, her love for Therru and Therru’s for her, made a bridge across that gap, a bridge of spider web, but love did not fill or close it. Nothing did that. And the child knew it better than she."
The equinox arrives, and Tenar thinks of the king being coronated, the king who knew fear and pain, and thought that Ged should be there too instead of tending some rich man's herds (and likely doing that into winter). Tenar had started to visit Ivy when she went to the village, as a sort of minor replacement to Aunty Moss, but either Ivy's ingrown detest for her was very real or, maybe just as likely, her own rebukes had left too big a void between them.
The sorcerer Beech arrives one day to treat a rich farmer's gout, and visits Tenar. Beech was a pupil of a pupil of Ogion's, and wanted to hear about his last days, as well as the visit by the archmage, Ged. Beech talks about the king's new rule and about, in particular, the loss of power of a certain lord pirate. He very much praises Tenar's work with Therru but she responds with sadness, she's worried what the fear will draw her to, that a damaged person may do damaging things. Roke seems more open-minded than most but he sees Ogion's "Teach her, not Roke" as just meaning women can't be sorcerers and he instead suggests that she take up healing witchery with Ivy as there may be a reciprocal aspect (and after all, he argues, "...healing befits a women..."). Therru's naming day is referenced, and overall Tenar views him as naive, but she does think about what Beech said.
More changes from the king, the local villages set up a taxed constabulary to combat the thieves and gangs (some rumors the pirate lords are pushing back). Tenar doesn't pay too much mind to this, but through time Therru becomes less withdrawn and is not kept so close to Tenar, she even travels independently (it is much easier with Tenar's family, friends, and acquaintances around to think Therru is safer, plus they shouldn't both just live in constant fear). Tenar is a good learner and prosperous but behind in most things, Tenar thinks of what Ogion meant by "teach her" but nothing special is done, Tenar even starts to think maybe she would be better apprenticed as a witch than a weaver (most people believe if something bad happens to you you deserved it somehow, this wouldn't matter as much to a witch as a weaver). Would all this satisfy Ogion's wishes?
Keeping this in mind, one day Tenar visits Ivy and asks the cost about apprenticing Therru. Ivy says she wouldn't for anything, that she fears her. Tenar is enraged, she even insinuates it's because of what happened to Therru beyond the burning. Ivy instead says it's because she is powerful and likely rageful, like a leashed natural disaster, something capable of darkness, and in fact Ivy draws from Tenar's own time with the Dark Ones as a child to posit that's why Tenar doesn't (or can't see to) fear her. Tenar believes everyone has failed her (Ogion, Moss, Ivy, Beech) even Ged whose "precious shame" had become his own child, Ged who was obsessed with power that that was all he noticed about Therru. Goha has a brief talk with Tenar (not the first time something like this has happened), saying that isn't fair.
Winter arrives, early, suddenly, and portentously, or at least a freeze does. Beside a fire of an apple tree Therru asks Tenar for a story which Tenar calls a "summer story", instead Therru should be learning the songs about the great deeds and the rites of spring (the Long Dance is mentioned). Therru says she can't sing but Tenar chides her: "'The mind sings. The prettiest voice in the world's no good if the mind doesn't know the songs.' She untied the last bit of yarn, which had been the first spun. 'You have strength, Therru, and strength that is ignorant is dangerous.'" Therru asks if it's like the wild ones that refused to learn and so stayed in the west, and it comes about she is referencing the dragons in the song of the Woman of Kemay (in chapter 2). Tenar asks which song Therru wants to learn and instead of the Deeds of Morred (which reminds her of the young king) Therru instead chooses about Segoy and the Making (Ogion's lore books are mentioned).
It goes well and Therru retires for the night. The song and Tenar's mood (because of Ivy) had energized Tenar to stay up by the fire. Suddenly, a noise from outside. Soon after, the sound of an opening being jimmied, but the house itself, thanks to Flint, was well-bolted. Eventually a window is broken and Tenar hears the voices of men. Her door, newly locked, rattles; it is Handy. A thin blade of light at the jamb. They will try the front door and so Tenar locks that one too. Tenar shutters Therru's window and the sound undoubtedly alerts them. She then tries to shutter her own but it is jammed, and they see Tenar through the window. Voices, that they won't hurt her if they let them in, that one of them just wants to see his little girl. Maybe Therru is awake, Tenar will protect her, though she has lost the fire poker in the scramble. One of them finds the kitchen window and Tenar flees to Therru's room, which doesn't have a lock thoughtfully so those in the nursery couldn't accidentally lock themselves in. She thinks about screaming, she think about fleeing, she grabs a butcher's knife. She throws open the door and threatens them.
"A howl and a sucking gasp", confusing communication from the men, some light. A wailing form shambles toward her, and a form with long blades behind it.
"Tenar! Tenar, it's me--Hawk, Sparrowhawk!" Ged, holding a pitchfork, thinks he has killed the man on the ground, the rest have fled. They drag the man inside, bandage him ('"I think I killed him," [Ged] said again.'), and Tenar finally gets Ged to sit by the fire. Ged looks rough. He had ran upon them on the path, avoided them due to the mob feeling off, but Ged had heard mention of the "Oak Farm" and so here he is. During the journey tracking the men Ged heard terrible things, about how Therru was stolen and how she would be punished along with what they'd do to Tenar. The bloody man isn't Handy, but it is the one who recently mentioned Therru was his. Tenar is worried they will come back, but they have the pitchfork at least, and it was only two others. They were traveling on the road (away from... something) and they were listening to the man who was lying there now, as if he'd mentioned this, about Therru and the widow, many times before (Handy apparently goaded him into trying this whole thing tonight). The group had waited in Tenar's barn until night, with Ged waiting outside it in the freezing cold. Shortly after they had spotted the kitchen window, Ged had ambushed them.
They make a sort of bed for the man, but not on the good rug. A realization about Therru. Quickly checking on her, apparently Therru had slept through the whole thing. Would've, should've... eventually Ged turns the tables and tells her to drink the tea, to rest. Ged recounts a tale, from the beginning of the first book, about the Kargish raiders (ed: the last book mentioned since the Ring was mended they don't raid anymore) and Ged/Duny thwarting their raid on Ten Alders, his village, by casting a sea of fog. One of the few not rebounded was run through with a pitchfork, Tenar saying Ged hitting the man's rib (and stopping something like that from happening) was the only thing Ged did wrong. Ged even briefly entertains the idea that the man could be disposed of, but he knows it's wrong (Tenar is less convinced). Instead, he'll use the wheelborrow and cart him to the healer, Ivy.
Tenar is beyond exhausted and watches the fire. A dream slips in, dragon-fire again. The star, Tehanu. Ged move her into the dark cold to get to her room. A dream slips in, each leading, following, both in the Tombs. "'This is the way,' she said."
submitted by Manjusri to u/Manjusri [link] [comments]
The ship arrives in port to songs from the Deed of Morred. A funny exchange occurs where Apple's friend Shinny (Shandy) sees Tenar on board the ship and says, "'Maybe it's his mother,'" only for Apple to say actually it is a mother (well, her's). Tenar and Therru disembark from the ship in rather royal fashion before it leaves again. Apple greets them warmly and is apparently on very familiar terms with Therru (Apple picks her up), however that night Apple is a bit apprehensive toward her mother, apparently she had never given much thought to the songs about her mom. She calls her a "'...king-kisser....'" A couple days later they all leave Apple's home and go to the farm, along the river Kaheda in the late summer. Apple comments on Therru's health and Tenar lets slip she was stronger before the incident, and then tells Apple about it (Apple is familiar with Therru's past). We find out that the one that was likely Therru's father is called Hake. In recalling Handy's motions she oddly can't remember Aspen's name except for the Kargish word for a type of tree. Apple says they haven't seen anyone from that group, and Tenar takes some joy that her daughter is mothering her mother. They consider a dog (again), though humorously Tenar is mostly thinking of a puppy for Therru (she already plays with an animal anyway, right? Well, a weird bone doll, close enough). They arrive at Lark's and it's a warm homecoming, it had apparently been two months since their departure to Ogion's. Tenar is reluctant to tell the story about their adventure but absolutely gushes about the king, says he appeared like a sword (which is actually one of his names, Arren). They talk about the king and the wizard, Shinny arrives and they have quite the supper, even Therru warms except for her keeping an eye on the window as it grew darker out.
Later, while Apple sings Therru to sleep, Tenar finally asks Shandy, who is helping wash up, about Ged (who somehow was never mentioned to Lark and Apple, all of Tenar's remembrances about Re Albi seemed to be muddled, "darkened"). Shandy says there wasn't work for him here, but that he got some on recommendation and so was off in a high pasture, maybe even herding goats, and would be back down the mountain in autumn. Maybe that was for the best, maybe this was home now and all that of Re Albi was behind them. Tenar slept that night, dreamless. Tenar keeps busy homesteading and the like, and eventually finished the red dress she had started for Therru. Therru is expressionless and turns away from it, and Tenar says, "'...People see the scars. But they see you, too, and you aren't the scars. You aren't ugly. You aren't evil. You are Therru, and beautiful....'" Therru calls the dress beautiful (touching Tenar's fingers, not the dress), and Tenar understands something, "She had done right to make the dress, and she had spoken the truth to the child. But it was not enough, the right and the truth. There was a gap, a void, a gulf, on beyond the right and the truth. Love, her love for Therru and Therru’s for her, made a bridge across that gap, a bridge of spider web, but love did not fill or close it. Nothing did that. And the child knew it better than she."
The equinox arrives, and Tenar thinks of the king being coronated, the king who knew fear and pain, and thought that Ged should be there too instead of tending some rich man's herds (and likely doing that into winter). Tenar had started to visit Ivy when she went to the village, as a sort of minor replacement to Aunty Moss, but either Ivy's ingrown detest for her was very real or, maybe just as likely, her own rebukes had left too big a void between them.
The sorcerer Beech arrives one day to treat a rich farmer's gout, and visits Tenar. Beech was a pupil of a pupil of Ogion's, and wanted to hear about his last days, as well as the visit by the archmage, Ged. Beech talks about the king's new rule and about, in particular, the loss of power of a certain lord pirate. He very much praises Tenar's work with Therru but she responds with sadness, she's worried what the fear will draw her to, that a damaged person may do damaging things. Roke seems more open-minded than most but he sees Ogion's "Teach her, not Roke" as just meaning women can't be sorcerers and he instead suggests that she take up healing witchery with Ivy as there may be a reciprocal aspect (and after all, he argues, "...healing befits a women..."). Therru's naming day is referenced, and overall Tenar views him as naive, but she does think about what Beech said.
More changes from the king, the local villages set up a taxed constabulary to combat the thieves and gangs (some rumors the pirate lords are pushing back). Tenar doesn't pay too much mind to this, but through time Therru becomes less withdrawn and is not kept so close to Tenar, she even travels independently (it is much easier with Tenar's family, friends, and acquaintances around to think Therru is safer, plus they shouldn't both just live in constant fear). Tenar is a good learner and prosperous but behind in most things, Tenar thinks of what Ogion meant by "teach her" but nothing special is done, Tenar even starts to think maybe she would be better apprenticed as a witch than a weaver (most people believe if something bad happens to you you deserved it somehow, this wouldn't matter as much to a witch as a weaver). Would all this satisfy Ogion's wishes?
Keeping this in mind, one day Tenar visits Ivy and asks the cost about apprenticing Therru. Ivy says she wouldn't for anything, that she fears her. Tenar is enraged, she even insinuates it's because of what happened to Therru beyond the burning. Ivy instead says it's because she is powerful and likely rageful, like a leashed natural disaster, something capable of darkness, and in fact Ivy draws from Tenar's own time with the Dark Ones as a child to posit that's why Tenar doesn't (or can't see to) fear her. Tenar believes everyone has failed her (Ogion, Moss, Ivy, Beech) even Ged whose "precious shame" had become his own child, Ged who was obsessed with power that that was all he noticed about Therru. Goha has a brief talk with Tenar (not the first time something like this has happened), saying that isn't fair.
Winter arrives, early, suddenly, and portentously, or at least a freeze does. Beside a fire of an apple tree Therru asks Tenar for a story which Tenar calls a "summer story", instead Therru should be learning the songs about the great deeds and the rites of spring (the Long Dance is mentioned). Therru says she can't sing but Tenar chides her: "'The mind sings. The prettiest voice in the world's no good if the mind doesn't know the songs.' She untied the last bit of yarn, which had been the first spun. 'You have strength, Therru, and strength that is ignorant is dangerous.'" Therru asks if it's like the wild ones that refused to learn and so stayed in the west, and it comes about she is referencing the dragons in the song of the Woman of Kemay (in chapter 2). Tenar asks which song Therru wants to learn and instead of the Deeds of Morred (which reminds her of the young king) Therru instead chooses about Segoy and the Making (Ogion's lore books are mentioned).
It goes well and Therru retires for the night. The song and Tenar's mood (because of Ivy) had energized Tenar to stay up by the fire. Suddenly, a noise from outside. Soon after, the sound of an opening being jimmied, but the house itself, thanks to Flint, was well-bolted. Eventually a window is broken and Tenar hears the voices of men. Her door, newly locked, rattles; it is Handy. A thin blade of light at the jamb. They will try the front door and so Tenar locks that one too. Tenar shutters Therru's window and the sound undoubtedly alerts them. She then tries to shutter her own but it is jammed, and they see Tenar through the window. Voices, that they won't hurt her if they let them in, that one of them just wants to see his little girl. Maybe Therru is awake, Tenar will protect her, though she has lost the fire poker in the scramble. One of them finds the kitchen window and Tenar flees to Therru's room, which doesn't have a lock thoughtfully so those in the nursery couldn't accidentally lock themselves in. She thinks about screaming, she think about fleeing, she grabs a butcher's knife. She throws open the door and threatens them.
"A howl and a sucking gasp", confusing communication from the men, some light. A wailing form shambles toward her, and a form with long blades behind it.
"Tenar! Tenar, it's me--Hawk, Sparrowhawk!" Ged, holding a pitchfork, thinks he has killed the man on the ground, the rest have fled. They drag the man inside, bandage him ('"I think I killed him," [Ged] said again.'), and Tenar finally gets Ged to sit by the fire. Ged looks rough. He had ran upon them on the path, avoided them due to the mob feeling off, but Ged had heard mention of the "Oak Farm" and so here he is. During the journey tracking the men Ged heard terrible things, about how Therru was stolen and how she would be punished along with what they'd do to Tenar. The bloody man isn't Handy, but it is the one who recently mentioned Therru was his. Tenar is worried they will come back, but they have the pitchfork at least, and it was only two others. They were traveling on the road (away from... something) and they were listening to the man who was lying there now, as if he'd mentioned this, about Therru and the widow, many times before (Handy apparently goaded him into trying this whole thing tonight). The group had waited in Tenar's barn until night, with Ged waiting outside it in the freezing cold. Shortly after they had spotted the kitchen window, Ged had ambushed them.
They make a sort of bed for the man, but not on the good rug. A realization about Therru. Quickly checking on her, apparently Therru had slept through the whole thing. Would've, should've... eventually Ged turns the tables and tells her to drink the tea, to rest. Ged recounts a tale, from the beginning of the first book, about the Kargish raiders (ed: the last book mentioned since the Ring was mended they don't raid anymore) and Ged/Duny thwarting their raid on Ten Alders, his village, by casting a sea of fog. One of the few not rebounded was run through with a pitchfork, Tenar saying Ged hitting the man's rib (and stopping something like that from happening) was the only thing Ged did wrong. Ged even briefly entertains the idea that the man could be disposed of, but he knows it's wrong (Tenar is less convinced). Instead, he'll use the wheelborrow and cart him to the healer, Ivy.
Tenar is beyond exhausted and watches the fire. A dream slips in, dragon-fire again. The star, Tehanu. Ged move her into the dark cold to get to her room. A dream slips in, each leading, following, both in the Tombs. "'This is the way,' she said."
2024.05.19 16:05 DavidWtube I have muted 994 subreddits and have maxed out my ability to mute any more. AMA
DallasStars
FFIE
jschlatt
Mavericks
k_on
shittyhalolore
dunememes
IndiaCricket
hatsune
MurderDrones
WutheringWavesLeaks
HuTao_Mains
memeframe
ChurchOfKasumi
psx
ipl
Spacegirls
libraryofruina
FamousFaces
MargotRobbie
WriothesleyMains
FUWAMOCO
Zendaya
smoking
KendrickLamar
Aether_Mains
MoriCalliope
Fotv
MumbaiIndians
AusFemaleFashion
WutheringWaves
reddeadredemption2
KafkaMains
DungeonMeshi
helldivers2
kingdomcome
productivity
JEENEETards
BridgertonNetflix
Markiplier
boxingcirclejerk
StardewMemes
YaeMiko
FalloutMemes
korrasami
CriticalDrinker
FireflyMains
A24
steak
antinatalism
sillyboyclub
Cartalk
travisandtaylor
hellsomememes
IndianFashionAddicts
eurovision
DarkViperAU
LooksmaxingAdvice
tacobell
ExtraFabulousComics
falcons
grilling
Invincible
instacart
Paranormal
AmIOverreacting
Fallout
AltFashion
dogelore
DragonsDogma
PiratedGames
okbuddycinephile
LoveIsBlindNetflix
shieldbro
megantheestallion
PanPorn
GameTheorists
RoyalsGossip
oscarrace
selfie
Futurology
okbuddybaldur
AO3
lesbianfashionadvice
sunraybee
askgaybros
NahOPwasrightfuckthis
Edmonton
offerup
OhNoConsequences
doordashgremlin
CoupleMemes
BroskiReport
nursing
WhitePeopleTwitter
TheBear
leafs
Jewdank
funnyIndia
confidentlyincorrect
malelivingspace
borderlands3
ShermanPosting
TopCharacterDesigns
KidsAreFuckingStupid
QueerEye
spiderman2
absolutelynotme_irl
SellingSunset
blunderyears
CharacterAI
hazbin
DisneyMemes
cartoons
ik_ihe
Helldivers
videogames
IAmTheMainCharacter
AITA_WIBTA_PUBLIC
OriginalCharacter
ScammerPayback
youtube
GamingLeaksAndRumours
TrueDetective
whatthefrockk
Bumperstickers
DesiVideoMemes
Anticonsumption
india
dropout
saltierthancrait
alberta
FirstTimeHomeBuyer
Showerthoughts
ArlecchinoMains
tragedeigh
RWBY
whatisthisthing
BMW
Isekai
ChikaPH
EnterTheGungeon
HaloMemes
forhonor
MW2
notinteresting
Panera
codyko
RealTesla
recruitinghell
PunkMemes
jobs
boysarequirky
Frieren
realmadrid
CompetitiveApex
hbomberguy
Tekken
geometrydash
hopeposting
okkolegauposledzony
Deltarune
malegrooming
AusMemes
melbourne
MurderedByWords
facepalm
emily_rudd
CharliDamelio654
GoodAssSub
HalfLife
90DayFiance
TransFeminineFashion
VinlandSaga
Kaiserreich
fnv
saltierthankrayt
eu_nvr
animegifs
ArkhamRehabilitation
Vivziepopmemes
ravens
fut
HazbinHotel
LindaCardellini
Palworld
thefinals
MonsterHunterWorld
AnimeMeme
adultingph
lethalcompany
Butchery
weddingshaming
ios
JoJoMemes
2nordic4you
love
cs2
Colts
Stonetossingjuice
ExplainTheJoke
MichiganWolverines
MechanicalKeyboards
Letterkenny
NHLMemes
comicbookmovies
badroommates
fuckcars
oblivion
Bolehland
Letterboxd
WRX
Tenant
IndiaNostalgia
IndianMemeTemplates
scaryeddie
SWORDS
ISR
depressionmeals
ModernWarfareIII
Gunpla
remnantgame
signalis
KGATLW
KeqingMains
Reverse1999
castlevania
cremposting
DoctorWhumour
romemes
DarkTide
WarriorCats
Pikmin
CODZombies
Genshin_Lore
Seaofthieves
GothGirls
Edgerunners
LowSodiumCyberpunk
TwoSentenceSadness
thanksgiving
spacemarines
HermitCraft
BokuNoMetaAcademia
jaidenanimations
subnautica
marvelcirclejerk
cellbits
arcane
exmormon
traumatizeThemBack
boykisser
aaaaaaacccccccce
Porsche
worldbuilding
TheDigitalCircus
StarWarsAhsoka
WetlanderHumor
GTAV
MyChemicalRomance
Grapplerbaki
Slipknot
KansasCityChiefs
panthers
PaymoneyWubby
DnDcirclejerk
foodbutforbabies
cosplayers
OkayBuddyLiterallyMe
falloutnewvegas
thomastheplankengine
AFCWestMemeWar
SisterWives
MetalGearRisingRVNGNC
legocirclejerk
buffalobills
povertyfinance
notliketheothergirls
AutismInWomen
scambait
blursed_videos
nhl
punk
CricketShitpost
ParadoxExtra
dankrishu
tf2shitposterclub
IndiaSpeaks
CryptoCurrency
fantasyfootballadvice
TexasRangers
northdakota
19684
HollowKnightMemes
BritneySpears
confession
cowboys
anime
overlord
gaybros
nintendo
Minecraftbuilds
stalker
riskofrain
CongratsLikeImFive
osugame
Killtony
OkBuddyFresca
BlackPink
ZeLink
Catholicism
wendigoon
MilitaryPorn
webtoons
GenshinImpact
adventuretime
Silksong
GatekeepingYuri
Disneyland
NYGiants
nflcirclejerk
SilverWolfMains
farcry
DivinityOriginalSin
yakuzagames
worldjerking
aliens
StarWarsleftymemes
paydaytheheist
Guiltygear
evilautism
SpyxFamily
shittyrainbow6
meirl
mac
armoredcore
wizardposting
traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns2
JuJutsuKaisen
AmericanHorrorStory
survivor
Gaylor_Swift
dbz
EngagementRings
TextingTheory
ProjectSekai
TurkeyJerky
animecirclejerk
Ohio
JustBootThings
BG3
Seattle
football
splatoon
SkyrimMemes
EnoughMuskSpam
AvatarMemes
depression_memes
lgbtmemes
Komi_san
coys
49ers
DenverBroncos
CHIBears
BicyclingCirclejerk
NFCWestMemeWar
LiverpoolFC
miamidolphins
detroitlions
Patriots
electricians
YNWMelly
OhioStateFootball
macbookpro
Jennamarbles
singapore
2sentence2horror
Jujutsufolk
Brawlstars
adhdmeme
titanfall
AbruptChaos
stories
youngpeoplereddit
texts
PointlessStories
GlowUps
mildlyinfuriating
KanojoOkarishimasu
EmmaWatson
woooosh
rose
AtlantaHawks
ShingekiNoKyojin
ZeldaMemes
Mariners
XFiles
EASportsFC
suicidebywords
LoveIslandUSA
microblading
ArsenalFC
SCP
NFCEastMemeWar
stopdrinking
StonerEngineering
fatestaynight
shittybloodborne
CloneWarsMemes
tylerthecreator
indiasocial
HolUp
gtaonline
PizzaCrimes
HelluvaBoss
Boruto
sadposting
Holostars
DevilMayCry
Tattoocoverups
RocketLeagueEsports
philadelphia
Animewallpaper
StLouis
bald
BeelcitosMemes
lordoftherings
Berserk
digimon
Mommit
redditonwiki
30PlusSkinCare
AnarchyChess
OnePiecePowerScaling
WWE
Chadtopia
BigBrother
stunfisk
FaceRatings
21stCenturyHumour
characterarcs
BattleBitRemastered
mapporncirclejerk
Boxing
place
Nicegirls
travisscott
0xPolygon
BollyBlindsNGossip
thefighterandthekid
TLCsisterwives
Vanderpumpaholics
dragrace
titanic
tennis
OUTFITS
OMORI
uber
gratefuldead
RDR2
gachagaming
UFOs
anime_best_moments
Nbamemes
691
actuallesbians
tacticalgear
discordVideos
MetalMemes
animenocontext
TheMajorityReport
Serverlife
okmatewanker
Funnymemes
fivenightsatfreddys
atheism
2westerneurope4u
meme
ask
midjourney
grandorder
soccercirclejerk
CPS
fireemblem
Technoblade
5ToubunNoHanayome
EulaMains
ForzaHorizon
fnki
Nijisanji
FightLibrary
overwatch2
sailormoon
pyrocynical
BlackPeopleTwitter
delta
wholesomememes
1000lbsisters
moreplatesmoredates
nattyorjuice
ripcity
JustUnsubbed
subway
Konosuba
badwomensanatomy
KDRAMA
MyHeroAcadamia
PERSoNA
Ningen
FUTMobile
Dimension20
Nanny
MarvelStudios_Rumours
antifastonetoss
kings
howyoudoin
Chainsawfolk
PhoenixSC
WaltDisneyWorld
SonicTheHedgehog
RandomThoughts
HIMYM
lookyourbest
shittytattoos
BoostForReddit
awfuleverything
Weddingattireapproval
2visegrad4you
starterpacks
motorcycles
PeterExplainsTheJoke
popheadscirclejerk
BaldursGate3
memesopdidnotlike
Witcher3
religiousfruitcake
Dragonballsuper
Chipotle
InstacartShoppers
ColleenBallingerSnark
ImTheMainCharacter
Teachers
TheBoys
Diablo
40kLore
Starfield
FinalFantasy
okbuddyreiner
Kenshi
ImaginaryMaids
MonsterHigh
jschlattsubmissions
Guildwars2
kankan
steelers
nayeon
thewalkingdead
yandere
gaybrosgonemild
AEWOfficial
NYKnicks
weddingdress
apolloapp
MakeupAddiction
UberEATS
PokeInvesting
WeDoALittlePosting
CCW
lewishamilton
Transformemes
im14andthisisdeep
TeenMomOGandTeenMom2
FireEmblemHeroes
mtg
OffMyChestPH
Piratefolk
MagicArena
civ
needforspeed
BeautyGuruChatter
firstimpression
boxoffice
amiwrong
liluzivert
TalesFromYourServer
Asmongold
CitiesSkylines
ChatGPT
ClashRoyale
NBATalk
Jujutsushi
TrueOffMyChest
TOTK
doordash
doordash_drivers
Sadiesink
ImaginarySliceOfLife
QAnonCasualties
GCSE
Kanye
FlorkofCowsOfficial
ImaginaryCharacters
OculusQuest
OkBuddyPersona
Edelgard
footballmanagergames
exmuslim
traditionaltattoos
animalcrossingmeme
Advice
ussoccer
dankvideos
torontoraptors
Gundam
FamousLatinas
FifaCareers
gaymers
OliviaRodrigo
bindingofisaac
TedLasso
StreetFighter
IndianBoysOnTinder
tattooadvice
KUWTKsnark
DemonSlayerAnime
weed
okbuddyhololive
NikkeMobile
EpicSeven
JenniferLawrence
Androgynoushotties
TenseiSlime
LesbianActually
ClassroomOfTheElite
Vocaloid
HuntShowdown
197
TrueUnpopularOpinion
bonehurtingjuice
attackontitan
FortniteLeaks
Overwatch_Memes
HonkaiStarRail_leaks
Truckers
chelseafc
Sephora
furry_irl
sadcringe
Persona5
AccidentalAlly
dccomicscirclejerk
2meirl4meirl
yugioh
Yellowjackets
femboymemes
summerhousebravo
goons
denvernuggets
Wrasslin
thesims
NewGreentexts
Marriage
dating_advice
AFL
Undertale
TwoHotTakes
truerateme
3amjokes
diablo4
SpidermanPS4
tearsofthekingdom
evangelion
Instagramreality
polandball
FallenOrder
AITAH
xbox
HonkaiStarRail
amiugly
cursedcomments
pettyrevenge
XboxSeriesX
nbacirclejerk
BostonBruins
heat
criticalrole
MLS
GodofWar
magicTCG
AskReddit
KGBTR
TheSimpsons
wholesome_girls
bicycling
Weird
tattoos
LoveIsBlindOnNetflix
MinecraftMemes
pcgaming
Rainbow6
ClashOfClans
NoStupidQuestions
RPClipsGTA
NoMansSkyTheGame
wholesomegreentext
starcitizen
bostonceltics
AnimeART
mariokart
araragi
DankMemesFromSite19
RaidenMains
starwarsrebels
KimetsuNoYaiba
MortalKombat
TransLater
ac_newhorizons
Catan
HeroForgeMinis
houkai3rd
Warhammer
Ben10
dankruto
botw
legendofkorra
starbucks
HypixelSkyblock
DnDGreentext
TattooDesigns
playstation
confessions
fakehistoryporn
projectzomboid
arknights
LinusTechTips
IASIP
SmashBrosUltimate
residentevil
PewdiepieSubmissions
comics
SuccessionTV
TrueSTL
Costco
mlb
mmamemes
xmen
NewVegasMemes
DestinyFashion
Stellaris
CuratedTumblr
legostarwars
ElderScrolls
egg_irl
DestinyMemes
StardustCrusaders
Bossfight
BocchiTheRock
dankchristianmemes
Ultrakill
CasualConversation
btd6
ImaginaryWarhammer
bluey
TaylorSwift
doodoofard
MonsterHunter
PS4
SequelMemes
casualnintendo
hearthstone
femboy
self
Steam
whenthe
Marvel
FoodPorn
F1NN5TER
totalwar
bleach
shittyfoodporn
GreenBayPackers
bengals
nyjets
StupidFood
stevenuniverse
golf
ich_iel
StrangerThings
Battlefield
ModernWarfareII
IndianDankMemes
jerseyshore
bisexual
trans
evangelionmemes
MemePiece
BikiniBottomTwitter
Naruto
brittanydawnsnark
MaliciousCompliance
okbuddychicanery
Gunners
Gamingcirclejerk
distressingmemes
texas
JoeRogan
EscapefromTarkov
liberalgunowners
ThelastofusHBOseries
horror
HollowKnight
cringepics
ValorantCompetitive
ffxiv
television
gaming
dankmemes
SteamDeck
celebrities
iphone
BatmanArkham
apexlegends
warriors
valheim
lakers
lgbt
thelastofus
PokemonTCG
DungeonsAndDragons
Firearms
dndnext
memes
DeepRockGalactic
rupaulsdragrace
me_irlgbt
terriblefacebookmemes
NFCNorthMemeWar
antiwork
HadesTheGame
DunderMifflin
comicbooks
youngpeopleyoutube
starwarsmemes
AmItheAsshole
marvelstudios
DC_Cinematic
2007scape
MarvelSnap
perfectlycutscreams
TheRightCantMeme
DestinyTheGame
kpop
pokemonmemes
DuggarsSnark
CollegeBasketball
minnesotavikings
masseffect
AnimalCrossing
BoJackHorseman
PokemonScarletViolet
ShitPostCrusaders
ChainsawMan
wow
OTMemes
Fauxmoi
ApexOutlands
animememes
gme_meltdown
NintendoSwitch
RoastMe
fakedisordercringe
justneckbeardthings
popculturechat
LoveIslandTV
shitposting
pathofexile
PS5
Animemes
fantasyfootball
movies
relationship_advice
TwoSentenceHorror
DotA2
ChoosingBeggars
skyrim
tf2
pokemongo
bi_irl
ksi
shid_and_camed
FundieSnarkUncensored
PokeLeaks
sports
reddevils
lotrmemes
Grimdank
DCcomics
unpopularopinion
harrypotter
Minecraft
Warframe
leagueoflegends
lego
witcher
MMA
Conservative
Cricket
cyberpunkgame
SapphoAndHerFriend
classicwow
SquaredCircle
Genshin_Impact_Leaks
VALORANT
food
CrusaderKings
anime_irl
NotHowGirlsWork
BravoRealHousewives
freefolk
HunterXHunter
reddeadredemption
Spiderman
deadbydaylight
ContagiousLaughter
insaneparents
baseball
LeagueOfMemes
Terraria
h3h3productions
Destiny
zelda
autism
gameofthrones
Breath_of_the_Wild
RimWorld
tumblr
destiny2
niceguys
LivestreamFail
okbuddybaka
lotr
playboicarti
tifu
halo
HouseOfTheDragon
PrequelMemes
Cooking
TheLastAirbender
CFB
hockey
entertainment
AskMen
formuladank
pokemon
Overwatch
smashbros
teenagers
KingdomHearts
FortNiteBR
AyakaMains
slimerancher
HFY
amphibia
goodanimemes
victoriajustice
apple
fo4
motorcycle
Metroid
ufc
OnePunchMan
TheMandalorianTV
army
nagatoro
Hololive
OnePiece
AskOuija
Genshin_Impact
dndmemes
marvelmemes
ShitMomGroupsSay
shittymoviedetails
DnD
RocketLeague
WitchesVsPatriarchy
BestofRedditorUpdates
Eldenring
nba
StarWars
IAmA
formula1
TwoXChromosomes
Tinder
Lisa_Mains
submitted by DavidWtube to AMA [link] [comments]
FFIE
jschlatt
Mavericks
k_on
shittyhalolore
dunememes
IndiaCricket
hatsune
MurderDrones
WutheringWavesLeaks
HuTao_Mains
memeframe
ChurchOfKasumi
psx
ipl
Spacegirls
libraryofruina
FamousFaces
MargotRobbie
WriothesleyMains
FUWAMOCO
Zendaya
smoking
KendrickLamar
Aether_Mains
MoriCalliope
Fotv
MumbaiIndians
AusFemaleFashion
WutheringWaves
reddeadredemption2
KafkaMains
DungeonMeshi
helldivers2
kingdomcome
productivity
JEENEETards
BridgertonNetflix
Markiplier
boxingcirclejerk
StardewMemes
YaeMiko
FalloutMemes
korrasami
CriticalDrinker
FireflyMains
A24
steak
antinatalism
sillyboyclub
Cartalk
travisandtaylor
hellsomememes
IndianFashionAddicts
eurovision
DarkViperAU
LooksmaxingAdvice
tacobell
ExtraFabulousComics
falcons
grilling
Invincible
instacart
Paranormal
AmIOverreacting
Fallout
AltFashion
dogelore
DragonsDogma
PiratedGames
okbuddycinephile
LoveIsBlindNetflix
shieldbro
megantheestallion
PanPorn
GameTheorists
RoyalsGossip
oscarrace
selfie
Futurology
okbuddybaldur
AO3
lesbianfashionadvice
sunraybee
askgaybros
NahOPwasrightfuckthis
Edmonton
offerup
OhNoConsequences
doordashgremlin
CoupleMemes
BroskiReport
nursing
WhitePeopleTwitter
TheBear
leafs
Jewdank
funnyIndia
confidentlyincorrect
malelivingspace
borderlands3
ShermanPosting
TopCharacterDesigns
KidsAreFuckingStupid
QueerEye
spiderman2
absolutelynotme_irl
SellingSunset
blunderyears
CharacterAI
hazbin
DisneyMemes
cartoons
ik_ihe
Helldivers
videogames
IAmTheMainCharacter
AITA_WIBTA_PUBLIC
OriginalCharacter
ScammerPayback
youtube
GamingLeaksAndRumours
TrueDetective
whatthefrockk
Bumperstickers
DesiVideoMemes
Anticonsumption
india
dropout
saltierthancrait
alberta
FirstTimeHomeBuyer
Showerthoughts
ArlecchinoMains
tragedeigh
RWBY
whatisthisthing
BMW
Isekai
ChikaPH
EnterTheGungeon
HaloMemes
forhonor
MW2
notinteresting
Panera
codyko
RealTesla
recruitinghell
PunkMemes
jobs
boysarequirky
Frieren
realmadrid
CompetitiveApex
hbomberguy
Tekken
geometrydash
hopeposting
okkolegauposledzony
Deltarune
malegrooming
AusMemes
melbourne
MurderedByWords
facepalm
emily_rudd
CharliDamelio654
GoodAssSub
HalfLife
90DayFiance
TransFeminineFashion
VinlandSaga
Kaiserreich
fnv
saltierthankrayt
eu_nvr
animegifs
ArkhamRehabilitation
Vivziepopmemes
ravens
fut
HazbinHotel
LindaCardellini
Palworld
thefinals
MonsterHunterWorld
AnimeMeme
adultingph
lethalcompany
Butchery
weddingshaming
ios
JoJoMemes
2nordic4you
love
cs2
Colts
Stonetossingjuice
ExplainTheJoke
MichiganWolverines
MechanicalKeyboards
Letterkenny
NHLMemes
comicbookmovies
badroommates
fuckcars
oblivion
Bolehland
Letterboxd
WRX
Tenant
IndiaNostalgia
IndianMemeTemplates
scaryeddie
SWORDS
ISR
depressionmeals
ModernWarfareIII
Gunpla
remnantgame
signalis
KGATLW
KeqingMains
Reverse1999
castlevania
cremposting
DoctorWhumour
romemes
DarkTide
WarriorCats
Pikmin
CODZombies
Genshin_Lore
Seaofthieves
GothGirls
Edgerunners
LowSodiumCyberpunk
TwoSentenceSadness
thanksgiving
spacemarines
HermitCraft
BokuNoMetaAcademia
jaidenanimations
subnautica
marvelcirclejerk
cellbits
arcane
exmormon
traumatizeThemBack
boykisser
aaaaaaacccccccce
Porsche
worldbuilding
TheDigitalCircus
StarWarsAhsoka
WetlanderHumor
GTAV
MyChemicalRomance
Grapplerbaki
Slipknot
KansasCityChiefs
panthers
PaymoneyWubby
DnDcirclejerk
foodbutforbabies
cosplayers
OkayBuddyLiterallyMe
falloutnewvegas
thomastheplankengine
AFCWestMemeWar
SisterWives
MetalGearRisingRVNGNC
legocirclejerk
buffalobills
povertyfinance
notliketheothergirls
AutismInWomen
scambait
blursed_videos
nhl
punk
CricketShitpost
ParadoxExtra
dankrishu
tf2shitposterclub
IndiaSpeaks
CryptoCurrency
fantasyfootballadvice
TexasRangers
northdakota
19684
HollowKnightMemes
BritneySpears
confession
cowboys
anime
overlord
gaybros
nintendo
Minecraftbuilds
stalker
riskofrain
CongratsLikeImFive
osugame
Killtony
OkBuddyFresca
BlackPink
ZeLink
Catholicism
wendigoon
MilitaryPorn
webtoons
GenshinImpact
adventuretime
Silksong
GatekeepingYuri
Disneyland
NYGiants
nflcirclejerk
SilverWolfMains
farcry
DivinityOriginalSin
yakuzagames
worldjerking
aliens
StarWarsleftymemes
paydaytheheist
Guiltygear
evilautism
SpyxFamily
shittyrainbow6
meirl
mac
armoredcore
wizardposting
traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns2
JuJutsuKaisen
AmericanHorrorStory
survivor
Gaylor_Swift
dbz
EngagementRings
TextingTheory
ProjectSekai
TurkeyJerky
animecirclejerk
Ohio
JustBootThings
BG3
Seattle
football
splatoon
SkyrimMemes
EnoughMuskSpam
AvatarMemes
depression_memes
lgbtmemes
Komi_san
coys
49ers
DenverBroncos
CHIBears
BicyclingCirclejerk
NFCWestMemeWar
LiverpoolFC
miamidolphins
detroitlions
Patriots
electricians
YNWMelly
OhioStateFootball
macbookpro
Jennamarbles
singapore
2sentence2horror
Jujutsufolk
Brawlstars
adhdmeme
titanfall
AbruptChaos
stories
youngpeoplereddit
texts
PointlessStories
GlowUps
mildlyinfuriating
KanojoOkarishimasu
EmmaWatson
woooosh
rose
AtlantaHawks
ShingekiNoKyojin
ZeldaMemes
Mariners
XFiles
EASportsFC
suicidebywords
LoveIslandUSA
microblading
ArsenalFC
SCP
NFCEastMemeWar
stopdrinking
StonerEngineering
fatestaynight
shittybloodborne
CloneWarsMemes
tylerthecreator
indiasocial
HolUp
gtaonline
PizzaCrimes
HelluvaBoss
Boruto
sadposting
Holostars
DevilMayCry
Tattoocoverups
RocketLeagueEsports
philadelphia
Animewallpaper
StLouis
bald
BeelcitosMemes
lordoftherings
Berserk
digimon
Mommit
redditonwiki
30PlusSkinCare
AnarchyChess
OnePiecePowerScaling
WWE
Chadtopia
BigBrother
stunfisk
FaceRatings
21stCenturyHumour
characterarcs
BattleBitRemastered
mapporncirclejerk
Boxing
place
Nicegirls
travisscott
0xPolygon
BollyBlindsNGossip
thefighterandthekid
TLCsisterwives
Vanderpumpaholics
dragrace
titanic
tennis
OUTFITS
OMORI
uber
gratefuldead
RDR2
gachagaming
UFOs
anime_best_moments
Nbamemes
691
actuallesbians
tacticalgear
discordVideos
MetalMemes
animenocontext
TheMajorityReport
Serverlife
okmatewanker
Funnymemes
fivenightsatfreddys
atheism
2westerneurope4u
meme
ask
midjourney
grandorder
soccercirclejerk
CPS
fireemblem
Technoblade
5ToubunNoHanayome
EulaMains
ForzaHorizon
fnki
Nijisanji
FightLibrary
overwatch2
sailormoon
pyrocynical
BlackPeopleTwitter
delta
wholesomememes
1000lbsisters
moreplatesmoredates
nattyorjuice
ripcity
JustUnsubbed
subway
Konosuba
badwomensanatomy
KDRAMA
MyHeroAcadamia
PERSoNA
Ningen
FUTMobile
Dimension20
Nanny
MarvelStudios_Rumours
antifastonetoss
kings
howyoudoin
Chainsawfolk
PhoenixSC
WaltDisneyWorld
SonicTheHedgehog
RandomThoughts
HIMYM
lookyourbest
shittytattoos
BoostForReddit
awfuleverything
Weddingattireapproval
2visegrad4you
starterpacks
motorcycles
PeterExplainsTheJoke
popheadscirclejerk
BaldursGate3
memesopdidnotlike
Witcher3
religiousfruitcake
Dragonballsuper
Chipotle
InstacartShoppers
ColleenBallingerSnark
ImTheMainCharacter
Teachers
TheBoys
Diablo
40kLore
Starfield
FinalFantasy
okbuddyreiner
Kenshi
ImaginaryMaids
MonsterHigh
jschlattsubmissions
Guildwars2
kankan
steelers
nayeon
thewalkingdead
yandere
gaybrosgonemild
AEWOfficial
NYKnicks
weddingdress
apolloapp
MakeupAddiction
UberEATS
PokeInvesting
WeDoALittlePosting
CCW
lewishamilton
Transformemes
im14andthisisdeep
TeenMomOGandTeenMom2
FireEmblemHeroes
mtg
OffMyChestPH
Piratefolk
MagicArena
civ
needforspeed
BeautyGuruChatter
firstimpression
boxoffice
amiwrong
liluzivert
TalesFromYourServer
Asmongold
CitiesSkylines
ChatGPT
ClashRoyale
NBATalk
Jujutsushi
TrueOffMyChest
TOTK
doordash
doordash_drivers
Sadiesink
ImaginarySliceOfLife
QAnonCasualties
GCSE
Kanye
FlorkofCowsOfficial
ImaginaryCharacters
OculusQuest
OkBuddyPersona
Edelgard
footballmanagergames
exmuslim
traditionaltattoos
animalcrossingmeme
Advice
ussoccer
dankvideos
torontoraptors
Gundam
FamousLatinas
FifaCareers
gaymers
OliviaRodrigo
bindingofisaac
TedLasso
StreetFighter
IndianBoysOnTinder
tattooadvice
KUWTKsnark
DemonSlayerAnime
weed
okbuddyhololive
NikkeMobile
EpicSeven
JenniferLawrence
Androgynoushotties
TenseiSlime
LesbianActually
ClassroomOfTheElite
Vocaloid
HuntShowdown
197
TrueUnpopularOpinion
bonehurtingjuice
attackontitan
FortniteLeaks
Overwatch_Memes
HonkaiStarRail_leaks
Truckers
chelseafc
Sephora
furry_irl
sadcringe
Persona5
AccidentalAlly
dccomicscirclejerk
2meirl4meirl
yugioh
Yellowjackets
femboymemes
summerhousebravo
goons
denvernuggets
Wrasslin
thesims
NewGreentexts
Marriage
dating_advice
AFL
Undertale
TwoHotTakes
truerateme
3amjokes
diablo4
SpidermanPS4
tearsofthekingdom
evangelion
Instagramreality
polandball
FallenOrder
AITAH
xbox
HonkaiStarRail
amiugly
cursedcomments
pettyrevenge
XboxSeriesX
nbacirclejerk
BostonBruins
heat
criticalrole
MLS
GodofWar
magicTCG
AskReddit
KGBTR
TheSimpsons
wholesome_girls
bicycling
Weird
tattoos
LoveIsBlindOnNetflix
MinecraftMemes
pcgaming
Rainbow6
ClashOfClans
NoStupidQuestions
RPClipsGTA
NoMansSkyTheGame
wholesomegreentext
starcitizen
bostonceltics
AnimeART
mariokart
araragi
DankMemesFromSite19
RaidenMains
starwarsrebels
KimetsuNoYaiba
MortalKombat
TransLater
ac_newhorizons
Catan
HeroForgeMinis
houkai3rd
Warhammer
Ben10
dankruto
botw
legendofkorra
starbucks
HypixelSkyblock
DnDGreentext
TattooDesigns
playstation
confessions
fakehistoryporn
projectzomboid
arknights
LinusTechTips
IASIP
SmashBrosUltimate
residentevil
PewdiepieSubmissions
comics
SuccessionTV
TrueSTL
Costco
mlb
mmamemes
xmen
NewVegasMemes
DestinyFashion
Stellaris
CuratedTumblr
legostarwars
ElderScrolls
egg_irl
DestinyMemes
StardustCrusaders
Bossfight
BocchiTheRock
dankchristianmemes
Ultrakill
CasualConversation
btd6
ImaginaryWarhammer
bluey
TaylorSwift
doodoofard
MonsterHunter
PS4
SequelMemes
casualnintendo
hearthstone
femboy
self
Steam
whenthe
Marvel
FoodPorn
F1NN5TER
totalwar
bleach
shittyfoodporn
GreenBayPackers
bengals
nyjets
StupidFood
stevenuniverse
golf
ich_iel
StrangerThings
Battlefield
ModernWarfareII
IndianDankMemes
jerseyshore
bisexual
trans
evangelionmemes
MemePiece
BikiniBottomTwitter
Naruto
brittanydawnsnark
MaliciousCompliance
okbuddychicanery
Gunners
Gamingcirclejerk
distressingmemes
texas
JoeRogan
EscapefromTarkov
liberalgunowners
ThelastofusHBOseries
horror
HollowKnight
cringepics
ValorantCompetitive
ffxiv
television
gaming
dankmemes
SteamDeck
celebrities
iphone
BatmanArkham
apexlegends
warriors
valheim
lakers
lgbt
thelastofus
PokemonTCG
DungeonsAndDragons
Firearms
dndnext
memes
DeepRockGalactic
rupaulsdragrace
me_irlgbt
terriblefacebookmemes
NFCNorthMemeWar
antiwork
HadesTheGame
DunderMifflin
comicbooks
youngpeopleyoutube
starwarsmemes
AmItheAsshole
marvelstudios
DC_Cinematic
2007scape
MarvelSnap
perfectlycutscreams
TheRightCantMeme
DestinyTheGame
kpop
pokemonmemes
DuggarsSnark
CollegeBasketball
minnesotavikings
masseffect
AnimalCrossing
BoJackHorseman
PokemonScarletViolet
ShitPostCrusaders
ChainsawMan
wow
OTMemes
Fauxmoi
ApexOutlands
animememes
gme_meltdown
NintendoSwitch
RoastMe
fakedisordercringe
justneckbeardthings
popculturechat
LoveIslandTV
shitposting
pathofexile
PS5
Animemes
fantasyfootball
movies
relationship_advice
TwoSentenceHorror
DotA2
ChoosingBeggars
skyrim
tf2
pokemongo
bi_irl
ksi
shid_and_camed
FundieSnarkUncensored
PokeLeaks
sports
reddevils
lotrmemes
Grimdank
DCcomics
unpopularopinion
harrypotter
Minecraft
Warframe
leagueoflegends
lego
witcher
MMA
Conservative
Cricket
cyberpunkgame
SapphoAndHerFriend
classicwow
SquaredCircle
Genshin_Impact_Leaks
VALORANT
food
CrusaderKings
anime_irl
NotHowGirlsWork
BravoRealHousewives
freefolk
HunterXHunter
reddeadredemption
Spiderman
deadbydaylight
ContagiousLaughter
insaneparents
baseball
LeagueOfMemes
Terraria
h3h3productions
Destiny
zelda
autism
gameofthrones
Breath_of_the_Wild
RimWorld
tumblr
destiny2
niceguys
LivestreamFail
okbuddybaka
lotr
playboicarti
tifu
halo
HouseOfTheDragon
PrequelMemes
Cooking
TheLastAirbender
CFB
hockey
entertainment
AskMen
formuladank
pokemon
Overwatch
smashbros
teenagers
KingdomHearts
FortNiteBR
AyakaMains
slimerancher
HFY
amphibia
goodanimemes
victoriajustice
apple
fo4
motorcycle
Metroid
ufc
OnePunchMan
TheMandalorianTV
army
nagatoro
Hololive
OnePiece
AskOuija
Genshin_Impact
dndmemes
marvelmemes
ShitMomGroupsSay
shittymoviedetails
DnD
RocketLeague
WitchesVsPatriarchy
BestofRedditorUpdates
Eldenring
nba
StarWars
IAmA
formula1
TwoXChromosomes
Tinder
Lisa_Mains
2024.05.19 15:48 lightingnations I found my girlfriend’s secret Google account and it feels like our entire relationship was built on a lie
I met Luna on a train two years ago. I’d just escaped from a toxic relationship, so romance was the last thing on my mind, but then she sat across from me in the carriage and asked about the book I was reading. She had a copy in her bag and wanted to know if it was any good.
I'd never felt such an instant, effortless connection with anybody before. I took a chance and asked her to dinner, and by the time the waiters cleared away our desserts, I already felt comfortable being vulnerable around her. So we went on a second date. And a third. And next thing I knew, we were planning our second anniversary.
In all that time she never gave off any 'creeper' vibes. Until a few months ago, when I stayed the night over at her place...
She'd gotten up early to use the bathroom. I grabbed her laptop off the side desk so I could catch up on some work e-mails, and the incognito tab was just sitting there. My first thought was: either she's having an affair or she's got a secret fetish.
What I found instead was a Google account with a photo album called ‘Michael’s EX’. In it, there were 427 photos of my former girlfriend turned psycho stalker, Sadie. This included shots of ‘Sadie the stalker’ with her family, screenshots of her passport—the works. On Facebook, Sadie's latest post said Moving to the Philippines, and since then she’d become a social media church mouse, so how did Luna keep her under surveillance? And how did you even get PERSONAL ID from a person halfway across the globe?
Down the hall, I heard the bathroom door swing open. Quickly I closed the laptop and pretended to be asleep until Luna planted a kiss on my lips. “Wakey wakey Bugs.”
I faked a stretch. “Morning Lola."
(At school, the other kids christened me ‘Bugs’ because of my cartoonishly large front teeth; I called Luna ‘Lola’ because of her blonde bangs and heart-shaped face.)
“How about we grab a fry for breakfast?” Her smile didn’t seem genuine, more like she was wearing a mask.
“Crap. I forgot I’m doing overtime today, I’ve gotta get to work.” With that, I shot out of there faster than a bullet train to Tokyo.
Because I didn’t wanna believe the worst about someone I cared so deeply about, I didn’t contact the police (not that anybody could’ve guessed what Luna was up to) and made excuses whenever she asked to meet, delaying the decision whether to end our relationship.
At night, I couldn’t sleep. Every time a hedge rustled outside, I’d run to the window and pull back the curtain only to discover a black cat skulking around the garden. I put this down to my previous relationship leaving me with a mountain of unresolved PTSD.
Sadie the stalker also seemed normal until we moved in together. After that she started picking fights if she caught me talking to another woman, even just distant relatives or childhood friends. The screaming matches went from weekly to nightly, only ever ending when I conceded to her every wish and gave her full access to my phone and social media accounts. I literally needed to grab my clothes into a bag and run away one night, and then I started hearing noises outside my new apartment. And although I never found any evidence, I was pretty sure she’d broken in at one point because the books on my side table were suddenly out of order one day. What hurt the most was Luna knew all this and still acted the way she did.
Right as I reached my lowest point, my close friend Gertrude called and said, “The universe is telling me you could use a sympathetic ear.”
I told her the universe didn’t know the half of it.
I’d met Gertrude—aka my surrogate mother—on a flight to London. Passing over Wales the aircraft hit heavy turbulence, and the grey-haired hippie in the seat next to mine squeezed my hand so tight that my fingers turned blue. After we levelled off, she apologized and said, “So what’s calling you to London?”
“A job.”
A few glasses of wine from the service trolley later, she blurted out, “You know your aura is strikingly similar to my husbands.”
“Uhh, thanks. Where is he now?”
“Oh, he burned to death in a house fire.”
Gertrude’s eyes started welling up. To take her mind off the subject, I said, “I lied earlier. I’m going to London because I fell in love with a Londoner.” I pulled up pictures of Sadie (back in her pre-stalker days) on my phone. “We met in Italy. She looked flustered trying to read a map book so I offered to help. Next thing I knew, we were planning a trip to this place called Orvieto.”
“Michael, I need to know how this story ends. Gimme your number.”
Since then, we’d met two or three times a year.
I laid the whole mess out over pizza. It was the first time since finding the Google account I didn’t feel hidden eyes crawling all over me.
Just as I wrapped up the story, over in the corner booth, a family burst into a chorus of happy birthday. A waiter appeared carrying a chocolate cake, capped by a giant candle that looked more like a flare. Gertrude tensed up.
“So what do you think about all this?” I asked.
She looked back at me and said, “It’s possible your reaction has been a touch on the dramatic side.”
“DRAMATIC??”
“Well consider things from Luna’s point of view. Your last relationship lasted for, what, three years? Maybe she felt threatened.”
“I don’t believe this.” I grabbed a cigarette from my pocket, but Gertrude snatched it away.
“You know how I feel about you poisoning your lungs, Michael.”
“Don’t you start. I got enough of that crap from Luna.”
Gertrude always encouraged me to work through my romantic problems. Ultimately, I decided her love of fairytale romances clouded her judgement and ghosted Luna instead. But I couldn’t escape her shadow. She always felt close. In fact, it got so bad that at a friend’s costume party several weeks later, my eyes kept compulsively scanning the crowd as if she was there in disguise, ready to pounce.
I stood off to the corner until, over the sea of heads, I spotted a beautiful stranger dressed as Jarlath the Goblin King. I took a shot of liquid courage and made a B-line towards her.
Halfway across the crowded room, beer splashed across the front of my Ziggy Stardust outfit.
“I am so sorry,” a female pirate said, patting me dry.
“Don’t worry about it.” Every time I tried circling her, she moved to cut me off.
“I am such a klutz. Why don’t you come into the kitchen so I can clean up this mess?”
I put my hands on her shoulders and steered her out of the way. “It’s fine. Trust me.”
Approaching Jarlath from behind, heart slamming against my chest, I said, “Well this is awkward. One of us is gonna have to change.”
Jennie had bright blue eyes and dimples impossible to miss. Ten minutes into our debate about David Bowie’s greatest album, I said, “You know Absolute Bowie are playing the Half Moon next week. I could take you?”
“Sorry. I’m going with my boyfriend,” she said with a sympathetic smile. From beside the buffet table, the pirate stared daggers in our direction.
“No worries,” I replied, despite the fact I was brimming with jealousy.
The next day, as I jogged off my hangover, a brown-haired lady cut across my path and we both went spinning to the ground.
“Flip, sorry.” I rushed to pull her up by the hands. “I’m like a bloody zombie lately.”
She did a doubletake. “Ziggy, right?”
There was no mistaking those eyes. “Jarlath?”
“Well, Jarlath or Jennie. Eithers fine.”
“Right. Well, sorry again. Enjoy Absolute Bowie.”
Before I could jog away, she said, “Hey, so that guy I was seeing? Turns out he’s a total prick.”
Jennie and I went for coffee. Coffee morphed into drinks. Drinks morphed into a steamy make-out session on my sofa.
But as she covered my neck in soft kisses, my stomach turned. It felt like cheating. So, I put the brakes on things and said, “I can’t do this. I’m really sorry. You’re amazing, but I just got out of a serious relationship…and…it’s just…”
“Hey, don’t worry about it.”
We agreed we’d let our connection blossom in its own time.
Jennie had a playful mystique to her. Within a handful of dates, we’d developed inside jokes and could tell what the other was thinking. But Luna’s imprint was hard to shake, to the extent I almost mixed up the two ladies’ names multiple times.
To detox, I suggested Jennie and I spend a romantic weekend in the Lake District, because after two days of hiking and kayaking my ex would no doubt be a spec in the rearview mirror.
Hours before we set off, however, Luna’s mom called. She wanted to meet and wouldn’t accept any excuses.
“Look, it’s obvious why I’m here,” she said, sitting across from me in Starbucks. “Ever since you and Luna broke up, she’s been acting…different.”
“Different? Different how?”
“I call but she hardly answers. I go over to her place but she’s never there. Now she’s telling me she needs to find herself. Says she’s moving to Australia.”
Her fingers tightened around her cup. “I need to know what happened between you two. And I don’t care if that paints anybody in a bad light. I’m just worried about my daughter is all.”
I told her about the Google account.
“Did you confront her about it?”
“Hell no. I ghosted that crazy bitc—” I cleared my throat. “I mean, I just…stopped seeing her.”
She started crying so loudly customers at nearby tables paused their conversations. I touched her forearm, promised I’d call if I remembered anything else, then set off for my romantic weekend.
But while Jennie and I enjoyed all that fresh air and pub food, a thought nagged at me. Luna adored London, so why move to Australia? It seemed so out of character. Back at our rented cottage, I was so fixated on the thought I needed a smoke, badly.
“What the hell is that?” Jennie demanded, as she stepped onto the front deck.
I glanced at my hands. “Uhh, a cigarette.”
“Michael! Don’t be sarcastic. You know how I feel about those things.”
“…Do I?”
“Uhh, well it’s the same as anybody else. Quit poisoning your lungs and put that thing out.”
“Alright alright, geeze. Sorry Luna.”
“That’s okay.”
A knot formed in my stomach as she went back inside. I’d called Jennie Luna by mistake. And she hadn’t noticed. In fact, her reaction to me smoking was identical to Luna’s—even the snappy way she said the ‘poison your lungs’ line.
I followed Jennie into the lounge, where she’d curled up on an armchair with a Colleen Hoover novel. She was hiding something. What else did she know about Luna? Maybe I could trick her into revealing some details…
From behind, I started massaging her shoulders. “Sorry for being rude before. I know what you said came from a place of love.”
“That’s okay.”
I waited until her eyes drooped shut, then said, “It really is perfect here, huh? Maybe we should stay forever.”
“Wouldn’t that be amazing?”
Her little groans of pleasure, the rhythm of her breathing, it all felt so familiar. I waited until the tension in her neck dissolved, then I pushed my lips against her ear and whispered, “So how about we take this into the bedroom…Lola.”
“Hmm. Sure thing Bugs.”
My hands froze. Jennie jumped up. “Uhh, that felt so good, why’d you stop?”
“What did you just say?”
“What did you just say?”
“I called you Lola,” I replied, my arms frozen in midair. “And you called me bugs.”
“Like the cartoon, right? I thought it’d be a cute nickname. Anyway, I’m tuckered out.” She forced a yawn. “Why don’t we get some sleep?”
As her hand laced with mine, an image of me waking up drugged and gagged and tied to the bedposts flashed before my eyes.
I said, “Sure. I just…need to use the bathroom first.”
The second the door shut behind me, I flew out of the house, climbed in my car, and sped away.
Within seconds my phone started blowing up with calls, followed by texts. Where are you going? Is everything okay?
No, I wanted to reply. I’m onto your sick little game. Whatever it is, I’m onto it.
Luna stalked my stalker, now Jennie somehow knew Luna and I’s nicknames. How? Did all women take turns drawing straws and whoever picked the short one needed to become my girlfriend?
I couldn’t go home. For all I knew, my exes would’ve been there burning effigies of me. I needed a safe place. Somewhere I could lie low until I got all this straightened out.
“Of course you can stay,” Gertrude said over the phone. “I’m out with some friends, but I’ll meet you later. If you hop the side gate there’s a spare key under the kissing gnomes out back.”
Gertrude lived in a detached house in Wembley. It took a bit of foraging to find the gnomes hidden beneath the weeds in the brown, patchy garden.
I needed to shoulder the door open. Inside, a mountain of letters and flyers had piled up on the welcome mat.
Down the hall, a huge archway connected the landing with a lounge, where a bar sat against the far wall, surrounded by upholstered sofas, a low table, and tie dye sheets strung over the filthy carpet. Everything had a real elegant vibe, despite the musty air.
I’d drained two glasses of whiskey before Gertrude arrived.
“Looks like you’ve had a rough evening.”
I said we could talk in the morning.
“Not a chance. You can’t take negative energy to bed. Come on, confession is good for the soul.”
She sat on the sofa and patted the empty seat next to her. So, with a weary sigh, I shared a tale of deranged exes.
“Crazy,” she said.
“I sure can pick ‘em, huh?”
“No, I mean you’re crazy.”
“What?”
“Think about it. What’s more likely: that your ex’s are secretly in collusion, or you’re being paranoid? Look how bloodshot your eyes are. When’s the last time you got a good night’s rest?”
She made a great point; teenagers on the street occasionally shouted ‘Bugs’ or ‘Thumper’ at me. Jennie might’ve come up with the nickname herself. I pinched the bridge of my nose, groaning.
“Look, sleep here tonight. Tomorrow we’ll brainstorm ways you can make it up to Jennie.”
I fumbled through my pockets for a cigarette.
“Really?” Gertrude said. “If you insist on poisoning your lungs, can you at least do it away from my home?”
“Well if I can’t smoke, I’m gonna need a refill.” I shook my empty glass.
On my way toward the bar, a wave of wooziness hit me. My first instinct was to blame it on the alcohol, but there was something else.
It was her reaction to the cigarette. My finger ran through the thick layer of dust along the bar’s countertop. Why was it like the place had been abandoned? Why did Gertrude always pressure me to stay with my psycho girlfriends? And how come she always reached out, as if on cue, whenever my relationships hit problems? It couldn’t be coincidence…
I poured two glasses of whiskey and carried them to the sofa. “So, you’re really against the whole smoking thing, huh?”
“Of course. It’s a filthy habit.”
“Yeah. Plus, there was that mess with your husband. House fire, right?”
“I’d rather not discuss it.”
“Sure, sure.” I ignited the lighter with a roll across my trouser leg.
Gertrude grabbed a cushion and hugged it. “What are you doing?”
“Alright, cut the crap. What the hell’s going on? Have you been sending your friends to date me?”
“What are you talking about?”
I wrestled the cushion from her and held the lighter beneath it. “I want an explanation right now or I’m torching this place.”
This was an empty threat. I wasn’t some pyromaniac—I just wanted answers. Inch by inch, I raised the flame. “Last chance. Why are the women in my life acting weird?”
Gertrude grabbed for the lighter. As I swatted her wrists away, we both got scorched, and for a moment her skin went wild with spasms, a sensation I can only compare to reaching inside a bucket of wet, writhing maggots. My gaze whipped between her face and her hands, which vibrated like plucked guitar strings.
Before I could scream, she yanked me up, clamped a cold, wrinkled palm across my mouth, and forced me against the wall. I thrashed around, unable to move. For a lady old enough to collect a pension, she was crazy strong.
She waited until I ran out of breath, then said, “Michael, please. I’m not going to hurt you. Open your heart and listen.”
What else could I do?
“You were right before. I have been keeping a secret from you. The truth is, I’ve been in love with you since we met. I’d never flown before. And you were so so sweet. You started talking about this other woman, but I knew our energies were perfect for each other. And it’s like I always say, love makes us do crazy things. You can’t begrudge me that can you?”
She looked as if she expected me to respond, so I shook my head.
“But I think we’ve reached a point where our connection is so deep we can be completely transparent with one another.” She took a slow, steady breath. “Michael, all your ex’s, Luna, Sadie, Jennie. They’ve all been…well, me.”
I stared at her, confused.
She sighed. “It’ll be easier if I just show you.”
Out of nowhere her hand wriggled again, then her face tightened, as though the skin was being stretched over the bone. Wrinkles smoothed out and colour bled into her grey hair, turning it brown, and within seconds I found myself face-to-face with Jennie. Even her vintage clothes morphed into a green blouse and white slacks.
“See?” she said in Jennie’s voice, her now blue eyes locked on mine.
I screamed into the soft flesh of her palm.
“Sssh, it’s okay. I’m not gonna hurt you. Watch.”
Her entire body jerked and twitched, the muscles spasming as she shifted from Jennie to Luna. “See? Think of these as costumes”—from Luna to Sadie—"the important thing is what’s underneath. And you’ve fallen in love with what’s underneath three times. Now I’m going to let go, but I need you to promise you won’t overreact. Understand?”
On the verge of a panic attack, I nodded furiously.
The second she pulled away I made a break for the exit. The thing posing as Sadie grabbed me and hurled me backwards against the wall.
Like a disappointed teacher, she put her hands on her hips. “I’ve been so patient with you, Michael. So very, very patient.”
She blocked off any hope of escape. I sidestepped around the outer edge of the room, towards the bar.
“All those years moulding you. Trying to grow you into the man I know you can be. I really thought we had it this time. For the record, I wanted to do this the easy way. But drastic times...”
I was so scared I slammed right into the cabinet and yelped. Glass bottles chattered together, and then something wet ran down the back of my shirt. It was whiskey, leaking from the overturned bottle onto the carpeted floor.
Speaking more to herself now, Gertrude said, “I’ll just have to keep you here until you love me as much as I love you. Of course, that means posing as you so nobody gets suspicious, but that’s no trouble. I’ll tell your dad you’re moving to Italy. You always loved Italy.”
Pose as me? She'd been killing my ex's and taking their place, I was just the latest in a long line. She’d keep me as a personal sugar baby if I didn’t escape, but how? She was impossibly strong, and the only thing that seemed to scare her was…
Snatching the bottle, I doused the remaining whiskey all over the carpet and furniture. As I flicked the lighter open, Sadie’s hands shot up.
“Bugs…darling…what are you doing?”
I took three slow, steady breaths. “Breaking up with you, you crazy bitch.”
I tossed the lighter forward. Within seconds flames sprung up all around us, spreading as far as the sofa. Sadie’s shoe caught fire, and as she stamped around, unintentionally fanning the blaze, her body writhed again, starting with the ankles. Fat boils climbed up every inch of exposed skin, milky white and with the consistency of frog spawn, like she’d had a killer allergic reaction to poison ivy.
She dropped to her knees, wailing like a wounded animal. This was my chance.
I made a break for the exit, giving the creature as wide a berth as possible. But as I got one foot planted in the hall something clamped tight around my ankles. My chin hit the floor, then I started sliding backwards.
I twisted onto my back. Where Sadie’s left arm should’ve been, a tentacle-like appendage stretched across the length of the room, a distance of over twenty feet. It reeled me toward her like a fish on a line. Whatever that thing was no longer looked human. It melted like an ice statue, with no bones or connective tissue inside, its lips nose and mouth becoming hideously elongated before dripping off in huge globs like melted candlewax. A fire alarm started wailing as the tentacle dragged me through the flames, scorching my arms and legs.
The loose mass of skin reached out and encased me like a mother bird sheltering its eggs.
“WHY WON’T YOU LOVE ME?” all my ex’s voices screamed at once. Whichever direction I looked, silhouettes of faces rose and fell, as if trying to burst through. Parts of them dripped inside my mouth, disgustingly warm with a bitter taste worse than Vaseline.
I put everything into clawing my way out if there. What was left of the beast had the consistency of wet clay and came apart just as easily. I tore away chunks until there was a hole large enough to squeeze through. Then, I crawled along surrounded by black smoke.
At the far side of the room I risked a glance back and saw a bumpy, uneven hand reaching out of a puddle of ooze. Soon I was crawling over the bristly welcome mat, then fumbling for the door. All I remember after that are paramedics wrestling me into an ambulance…
A specialist officer came to see me at the hospital the next morning. They’d been unable to contact the homeowner, Gertrude Huyton, and through his line of questioning I could tell they hadn’t found her ‘remains’ inside the charred house. Like the wicked witch of the West, my stalker had melted. I told the officer she said I could stay the night, and that I probably started the fire by dropping a cigarette.
“In that case, we’ll keep trying to reach her.” He walked to the curtain surronding my bed and paused. “Oh, and I almost forgot to mention, her cat is missing.”
“Her...cat?”
“Yeah. The little black one. One of the firemen pulled it out of the wreckage. The poor thing had burns over its legs but it ran off before anybody could take it to the vet.”
I swallowed a gulp and thanked him for telling me.
And now I’m still sitting here listening while nurses rush back and forth, terrified any one of them might be Gertrude…
submitted by lightingnations to nosleep [link] [comments]
I'd never felt such an instant, effortless connection with anybody before. I took a chance and asked her to dinner, and by the time the waiters cleared away our desserts, I already felt comfortable being vulnerable around her. So we went on a second date. And a third. And next thing I knew, we were planning our second anniversary.
In all that time she never gave off any 'creeper' vibes. Until a few months ago, when I stayed the night over at her place...
She'd gotten up early to use the bathroom. I grabbed her laptop off the side desk so I could catch up on some work e-mails, and the incognito tab was just sitting there. My first thought was: either she's having an affair or she's got a secret fetish.
What I found instead was a Google account with a photo album called ‘Michael’s EX’. In it, there were 427 photos of my former girlfriend turned psycho stalker, Sadie. This included shots of ‘Sadie the stalker’ with her family, screenshots of her passport—the works. On Facebook, Sadie's latest post said Moving to the Philippines, and since then she’d become a social media church mouse, so how did Luna keep her under surveillance? And how did you even get PERSONAL ID from a person halfway across the globe?
Down the hall, I heard the bathroom door swing open. Quickly I closed the laptop and pretended to be asleep until Luna planted a kiss on my lips. “Wakey wakey Bugs.”
I faked a stretch. “Morning Lola."
(At school, the other kids christened me ‘Bugs’ because of my cartoonishly large front teeth; I called Luna ‘Lola’ because of her blonde bangs and heart-shaped face.)
“How about we grab a fry for breakfast?” Her smile didn’t seem genuine, more like she was wearing a mask.
“Crap. I forgot I’m doing overtime today, I’ve gotta get to work.” With that, I shot out of there faster than a bullet train to Tokyo.
Because I didn’t wanna believe the worst about someone I cared so deeply about, I didn’t contact the police (not that anybody could’ve guessed what Luna was up to) and made excuses whenever she asked to meet, delaying the decision whether to end our relationship.
At night, I couldn’t sleep. Every time a hedge rustled outside, I’d run to the window and pull back the curtain only to discover a black cat skulking around the garden. I put this down to my previous relationship leaving me with a mountain of unresolved PTSD.
Sadie the stalker also seemed normal until we moved in together. After that she started picking fights if she caught me talking to another woman, even just distant relatives or childhood friends. The screaming matches went from weekly to nightly, only ever ending when I conceded to her every wish and gave her full access to my phone and social media accounts. I literally needed to grab my clothes into a bag and run away one night, and then I started hearing noises outside my new apartment. And although I never found any evidence, I was pretty sure she’d broken in at one point because the books on my side table were suddenly out of order one day. What hurt the most was Luna knew all this and still acted the way she did.
Right as I reached my lowest point, my close friend Gertrude called and said, “The universe is telling me you could use a sympathetic ear.”
I told her the universe didn’t know the half of it.
I’d met Gertrude—aka my surrogate mother—on a flight to London. Passing over Wales the aircraft hit heavy turbulence, and the grey-haired hippie in the seat next to mine squeezed my hand so tight that my fingers turned blue. After we levelled off, she apologized and said, “So what’s calling you to London?”
“A job.”
A few glasses of wine from the service trolley later, she blurted out, “You know your aura is strikingly similar to my husbands.”
“Uhh, thanks. Where is he now?”
“Oh, he burned to death in a house fire.”
Gertrude’s eyes started welling up. To take her mind off the subject, I said, “I lied earlier. I’m going to London because I fell in love with a Londoner.” I pulled up pictures of Sadie (back in her pre-stalker days) on my phone. “We met in Italy. She looked flustered trying to read a map book so I offered to help. Next thing I knew, we were planning a trip to this place called Orvieto.”
“Michael, I need to know how this story ends. Gimme your number.”
Since then, we’d met two or three times a year.
I laid the whole mess out over pizza. It was the first time since finding the Google account I didn’t feel hidden eyes crawling all over me.
Just as I wrapped up the story, over in the corner booth, a family burst into a chorus of happy birthday. A waiter appeared carrying a chocolate cake, capped by a giant candle that looked more like a flare. Gertrude tensed up.
“So what do you think about all this?” I asked.
She looked back at me and said, “It’s possible your reaction has been a touch on the dramatic side.”
“DRAMATIC??”
“Well consider things from Luna’s point of view. Your last relationship lasted for, what, three years? Maybe she felt threatened.”
“I don’t believe this.” I grabbed a cigarette from my pocket, but Gertrude snatched it away.
“You know how I feel about you poisoning your lungs, Michael.”
“Don’t you start. I got enough of that crap from Luna.”
Gertrude always encouraged me to work through my romantic problems. Ultimately, I decided her love of fairytale romances clouded her judgement and ghosted Luna instead. But I couldn’t escape her shadow. She always felt close. In fact, it got so bad that at a friend’s costume party several weeks later, my eyes kept compulsively scanning the crowd as if she was there in disguise, ready to pounce.
I stood off to the corner until, over the sea of heads, I spotted a beautiful stranger dressed as Jarlath the Goblin King. I took a shot of liquid courage and made a B-line towards her.
Halfway across the crowded room, beer splashed across the front of my Ziggy Stardust outfit.
“I am so sorry,” a female pirate said, patting me dry.
“Don’t worry about it.” Every time I tried circling her, she moved to cut me off.
“I am such a klutz. Why don’t you come into the kitchen so I can clean up this mess?”
I put my hands on her shoulders and steered her out of the way. “It’s fine. Trust me.”
Approaching Jarlath from behind, heart slamming against my chest, I said, “Well this is awkward. One of us is gonna have to change.”
Jennie had bright blue eyes and dimples impossible to miss. Ten minutes into our debate about David Bowie’s greatest album, I said, “You know Absolute Bowie are playing the Half Moon next week. I could take you?”
“Sorry. I’m going with my boyfriend,” she said with a sympathetic smile. From beside the buffet table, the pirate stared daggers in our direction.
“No worries,” I replied, despite the fact I was brimming with jealousy.
The next day, as I jogged off my hangover, a brown-haired lady cut across my path and we both went spinning to the ground.
“Flip, sorry.” I rushed to pull her up by the hands. “I’m like a bloody zombie lately.”
She did a doubletake. “Ziggy, right?”
There was no mistaking those eyes. “Jarlath?”
“Well, Jarlath or Jennie. Eithers fine.”
“Right. Well, sorry again. Enjoy Absolute Bowie.”
Before I could jog away, she said, “Hey, so that guy I was seeing? Turns out he’s a total prick.”
Jennie and I went for coffee. Coffee morphed into drinks. Drinks morphed into a steamy make-out session on my sofa.
But as she covered my neck in soft kisses, my stomach turned. It felt like cheating. So, I put the brakes on things and said, “I can’t do this. I’m really sorry. You’re amazing, but I just got out of a serious relationship…and…it’s just…”
“Hey, don’t worry about it.”
We agreed we’d let our connection blossom in its own time.
Jennie had a playful mystique to her. Within a handful of dates, we’d developed inside jokes and could tell what the other was thinking. But Luna’s imprint was hard to shake, to the extent I almost mixed up the two ladies’ names multiple times.
To detox, I suggested Jennie and I spend a romantic weekend in the Lake District, because after two days of hiking and kayaking my ex would no doubt be a spec in the rearview mirror.
Hours before we set off, however, Luna’s mom called. She wanted to meet and wouldn’t accept any excuses.
“Look, it’s obvious why I’m here,” she said, sitting across from me in Starbucks. “Ever since you and Luna broke up, she’s been acting…different.”
“Different? Different how?”
“I call but she hardly answers. I go over to her place but she’s never there. Now she’s telling me she needs to find herself. Says she’s moving to Australia.”
Her fingers tightened around her cup. “I need to know what happened between you two. And I don’t care if that paints anybody in a bad light. I’m just worried about my daughter is all.”
I told her about the Google account.
“Did you confront her about it?”
“Hell no. I ghosted that crazy bitc—” I cleared my throat. “I mean, I just…stopped seeing her.”
She started crying so loudly customers at nearby tables paused their conversations. I touched her forearm, promised I’d call if I remembered anything else, then set off for my romantic weekend.
But while Jennie and I enjoyed all that fresh air and pub food, a thought nagged at me. Luna adored London, so why move to Australia? It seemed so out of character. Back at our rented cottage, I was so fixated on the thought I needed a smoke, badly.
“What the hell is that?” Jennie demanded, as she stepped onto the front deck.
I glanced at my hands. “Uhh, a cigarette.”
“Michael! Don’t be sarcastic. You know how I feel about those things.”
“…Do I?”
“Uhh, well it’s the same as anybody else. Quit poisoning your lungs and put that thing out.”
“Alright alright, geeze. Sorry Luna.”
“That’s okay.”
A knot formed in my stomach as she went back inside. I’d called Jennie Luna by mistake. And she hadn’t noticed. In fact, her reaction to me smoking was identical to Luna’s—even the snappy way she said the ‘poison your lungs’ line.
I followed Jennie into the lounge, where she’d curled up on an armchair with a Colleen Hoover novel. She was hiding something. What else did she know about Luna? Maybe I could trick her into revealing some details…
From behind, I started massaging her shoulders. “Sorry for being rude before. I know what you said came from a place of love.”
“That’s okay.”
I waited until her eyes drooped shut, then said, “It really is perfect here, huh? Maybe we should stay forever.”
“Wouldn’t that be amazing?”
Her little groans of pleasure, the rhythm of her breathing, it all felt so familiar. I waited until the tension in her neck dissolved, then I pushed my lips against her ear and whispered, “So how about we take this into the bedroom…Lola.”
“Hmm. Sure thing Bugs.”
My hands froze. Jennie jumped up. “Uhh, that felt so good, why’d you stop?”
“What did you just say?”
“What did you just say?”
“I called you Lola,” I replied, my arms frozen in midair. “And you called me bugs.”
“Like the cartoon, right? I thought it’d be a cute nickname. Anyway, I’m tuckered out.” She forced a yawn. “Why don’t we get some sleep?”
As her hand laced with mine, an image of me waking up drugged and gagged and tied to the bedposts flashed before my eyes.
I said, “Sure. I just…need to use the bathroom first.”
The second the door shut behind me, I flew out of the house, climbed in my car, and sped away.
Within seconds my phone started blowing up with calls, followed by texts. Where are you going? Is everything okay?
No, I wanted to reply. I’m onto your sick little game. Whatever it is, I’m onto it.
Luna stalked my stalker, now Jennie somehow knew Luna and I’s nicknames. How? Did all women take turns drawing straws and whoever picked the short one needed to become my girlfriend?
I couldn’t go home. For all I knew, my exes would’ve been there burning effigies of me. I needed a safe place. Somewhere I could lie low until I got all this straightened out.
“Of course you can stay,” Gertrude said over the phone. “I’m out with some friends, but I’ll meet you later. If you hop the side gate there’s a spare key under the kissing gnomes out back.”
Gertrude lived in a detached house in Wembley. It took a bit of foraging to find the gnomes hidden beneath the weeds in the brown, patchy garden.
I needed to shoulder the door open. Inside, a mountain of letters and flyers had piled up on the welcome mat.
Down the hall, a huge archway connected the landing with a lounge, where a bar sat against the far wall, surrounded by upholstered sofas, a low table, and tie dye sheets strung over the filthy carpet. Everything had a real elegant vibe, despite the musty air.
I’d drained two glasses of whiskey before Gertrude arrived.
“Looks like you’ve had a rough evening.”
I said we could talk in the morning.
“Not a chance. You can’t take negative energy to bed. Come on, confession is good for the soul.”
She sat on the sofa and patted the empty seat next to her. So, with a weary sigh, I shared a tale of deranged exes.
“Crazy,” she said.
“I sure can pick ‘em, huh?”
“No, I mean you’re crazy.”
“What?”
“Think about it. What’s more likely: that your ex’s are secretly in collusion, or you’re being paranoid? Look how bloodshot your eyes are. When’s the last time you got a good night’s rest?”
She made a great point; teenagers on the street occasionally shouted ‘Bugs’ or ‘Thumper’ at me. Jennie might’ve come up with the nickname herself. I pinched the bridge of my nose, groaning.
“Look, sleep here tonight. Tomorrow we’ll brainstorm ways you can make it up to Jennie.”
I fumbled through my pockets for a cigarette.
“Really?” Gertrude said. “If you insist on poisoning your lungs, can you at least do it away from my home?”
“Well if I can’t smoke, I’m gonna need a refill.” I shook my empty glass.
On my way toward the bar, a wave of wooziness hit me. My first instinct was to blame it on the alcohol, but there was something else.
It was her reaction to the cigarette. My finger ran through the thick layer of dust along the bar’s countertop. Why was it like the place had been abandoned? Why did Gertrude always pressure me to stay with my psycho girlfriends? And how come she always reached out, as if on cue, whenever my relationships hit problems? It couldn’t be coincidence…
I poured two glasses of whiskey and carried them to the sofa. “So, you’re really against the whole smoking thing, huh?”
“Of course. It’s a filthy habit.”
“Yeah. Plus, there was that mess with your husband. House fire, right?”
“I’d rather not discuss it.”
“Sure, sure.” I ignited the lighter with a roll across my trouser leg.
Gertrude grabbed a cushion and hugged it. “What are you doing?”
“Alright, cut the crap. What the hell’s going on? Have you been sending your friends to date me?”
“What are you talking about?”
I wrestled the cushion from her and held the lighter beneath it. “I want an explanation right now or I’m torching this place.”
This was an empty threat. I wasn’t some pyromaniac—I just wanted answers. Inch by inch, I raised the flame. “Last chance. Why are the women in my life acting weird?”
Gertrude grabbed for the lighter. As I swatted her wrists away, we both got scorched, and for a moment her skin went wild with spasms, a sensation I can only compare to reaching inside a bucket of wet, writhing maggots. My gaze whipped between her face and her hands, which vibrated like plucked guitar strings.
Before I could scream, she yanked me up, clamped a cold, wrinkled palm across my mouth, and forced me against the wall. I thrashed around, unable to move. For a lady old enough to collect a pension, she was crazy strong.
She waited until I ran out of breath, then said, “Michael, please. I’m not going to hurt you. Open your heart and listen.”
What else could I do?
“You were right before. I have been keeping a secret from you. The truth is, I’ve been in love with you since we met. I’d never flown before. And you were so so sweet. You started talking about this other woman, but I knew our energies were perfect for each other. And it’s like I always say, love makes us do crazy things. You can’t begrudge me that can you?”
She looked as if she expected me to respond, so I shook my head.
“But I think we’ve reached a point where our connection is so deep we can be completely transparent with one another.” She took a slow, steady breath. “Michael, all your ex’s, Luna, Sadie, Jennie. They’ve all been…well, me.”
I stared at her, confused.
She sighed. “It’ll be easier if I just show you.”
Out of nowhere her hand wriggled again, then her face tightened, as though the skin was being stretched over the bone. Wrinkles smoothed out and colour bled into her grey hair, turning it brown, and within seconds I found myself face-to-face with Jennie. Even her vintage clothes morphed into a green blouse and white slacks.
“See?” she said in Jennie’s voice, her now blue eyes locked on mine.
I screamed into the soft flesh of her palm.
“Sssh, it’s okay. I’m not gonna hurt you. Watch.”
Her entire body jerked and twitched, the muscles spasming as she shifted from Jennie to Luna. “See? Think of these as costumes”—from Luna to Sadie—"the important thing is what’s underneath. And you’ve fallen in love with what’s underneath three times. Now I’m going to let go, but I need you to promise you won’t overreact. Understand?”
On the verge of a panic attack, I nodded furiously.
The second she pulled away I made a break for the exit. The thing posing as Sadie grabbed me and hurled me backwards against the wall.
Like a disappointed teacher, she put her hands on her hips. “I’ve been so patient with you, Michael. So very, very patient.”
She blocked off any hope of escape. I sidestepped around the outer edge of the room, towards the bar.
“All those years moulding you. Trying to grow you into the man I know you can be. I really thought we had it this time. For the record, I wanted to do this the easy way. But drastic times...”
I was so scared I slammed right into the cabinet and yelped. Glass bottles chattered together, and then something wet ran down the back of my shirt. It was whiskey, leaking from the overturned bottle onto the carpeted floor.
Speaking more to herself now, Gertrude said, “I’ll just have to keep you here until you love me as much as I love you. Of course, that means posing as you so nobody gets suspicious, but that’s no trouble. I’ll tell your dad you’re moving to Italy. You always loved Italy.”
Pose as me? She'd been killing my ex's and taking their place, I was just the latest in a long line. She’d keep me as a personal sugar baby if I didn’t escape, but how? She was impossibly strong, and the only thing that seemed to scare her was…
Snatching the bottle, I doused the remaining whiskey all over the carpet and furniture. As I flicked the lighter open, Sadie’s hands shot up.
“Bugs…darling…what are you doing?”
I took three slow, steady breaths. “Breaking up with you, you crazy bitch.”
I tossed the lighter forward. Within seconds flames sprung up all around us, spreading as far as the sofa. Sadie’s shoe caught fire, and as she stamped around, unintentionally fanning the blaze, her body writhed again, starting with the ankles. Fat boils climbed up every inch of exposed skin, milky white and with the consistency of frog spawn, like she’d had a killer allergic reaction to poison ivy.
She dropped to her knees, wailing like a wounded animal. This was my chance.
I made a break for the exit, giving the creature as wide a berth as possible. But as I got one foot planted in the hall something clamped tight around my ankles. My chin hit the floor, then I started sliding backwards.
I twisted onto my back. Where Sadie’s left arm should’ve been, a tentacle-like appendage stretched across the length of the room, a distance of over twenty feet. It reeled me toward her like a fish on a line. Whatever that thing was no longer looked human. It melted like an ice statue, with no bones or connective tissue inside, its lips nose and mouth becoming hideously elongated before dripping off in huge globs like melted candlewax. A fire alarm started wailing as the tentacle dragged me through the flames, scorching my arms and legs.
The loose mass of skin reached out and encased me like a mother bird sheltering its eggs.
“WHY WON’T YOU LOVE ME?” all my ex’s voices screamed at once. Whichever direction I looked, silhouettes of faces rose and fell, as if trying to burst through. Parts of them dripped inside my mouth, disgustingly warm with a bitter taste worse than Vaseline.
I put everything into clawing my way out if there. What was left of the beast had the consistency of wet clay and came apart just as easily. I tore away chunks until there was a hole large enough to squeeze through. Then, I crawled along surrounded by black smoke.
At the far side of the room I risked a glance back and saw a bumpy, uneven hand reaching out of a puddle of ooze. Soon I was crawling over the bristly welcome mat, then fumbling for the door. All I remember after that are paramedics wrestling me into an ambulance…
A specialist officer came to see me at the hospital the next morning. They’d been unable to contact the homeowner, Gertrude Huyton, and through his line of questioning I could tell they hadn’t found her ‘remains’ inside the charred house. Like the wicked witch of the West, my stalker had melted. I told the officer she said I could stay the night, and that I probably started the fire by dropping a cigarette.
“In that case, we’ll keep trying to reach her.” He walked to the curtain surronding my bed and paused. “Oh, and I almost forgot to mention, her cat is missing.”
“Her...cat?”
“Yeah. The little black one. One of the firemen pulled it out of the wreckage. The poor thing had burns over its legs but it ran off before anybody could take it to the vet.”
I swallowed a gulp and thanked him for telling me.
And now I’m still sitting here listening while nurses rush back and forth, terrified any one of them might be Gertrude…
2024.05.19 15:35 Drakeishere_RUN The Year of the Dragon - Part 1 : 2014 Royal Rumble
26/01/2014 - WWE Royal Rumble
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Commentated by Jim Ross, JBL, and Michael Cole
We see some footage of superstars arriving to the arena today. The Authority arrive in a limousine; WWE Champion Randy Orton, Triple H, Stephanie McMahon, and Kane. Daniel Bryan is shown walking with Brie Bella. "The Animal" Batista shows up in a truck and flexes for the camera. The feed cuts and glitches out revealing a dark room with a empty rocking chair moving slowly. "We're here."
The iconic voice of Jim Ross welcomes us to the 2014 Royal Rumble as pyro erupts from the stage and the fans go wild. The Authority's music plays and the mood quickly shifts, the crowd rains down boo's. Here comes the WWE World Champion Randy Orton. Orton talks trash to some fans in the front row while Triple H, Stephanie McMahon, and Kane make their way out as well. Orton raises the title as HHH passes him a microphone. Orton is in a great mood tonight. He's got the night off and there will be 30 men all vying for a chance to get RKO'ed in the main event of Wrestlemania 30. The crowd chants, “Daniel Bryan” as Orton laughs and promises that Bryan doesn't stand a chance. If you want to win the Royal Rumble you have to be taller than these marks in the crowd, you can't be a front row wrestler like Daniel Bryan or CM Punk. The crowd breaks into a deafening “DANIEL BRYAN/CM PUNK!” chant as Orton highlights some of the past winners like himself, Triple H, and Batista. True superstars who all pass the airport test. Triple H takes the microphone and tells the fans to shut the hell up and respect greatness. The reason The Authority are out here is because they want an answer from Batista. Will The Animal join them, take the #30 spot, and win the Rumble to make the biggest Wrestlemania main event a reality? Batista's music hits and he gets a great reaction. First of all, Batista thanks the Pittsburgh fans and everyone in the WWE for welcoming him back with open arms. Batista has a ton of respect for Triple H and Orton after all those years in Evolution. They all shake hands and it looks like he's accepting the offer. Triple H tells Batista to make the right decision and do whats best for business. Batista gives the THUMBS UP! The Authority are all psyched up until.... Batista, who still has his thumb in the air, says "What's best for business.... is listening to these fans! Doing things the hard way, the same way he did it through his whole career. Batista didn't come back to be handed anything, he came back to prove he can still be The Animal. The man who beat Triple H in the main event of Wrestlemania.... The thumbs up is turned into a THUMBS DOWN! Kane charges at Batista but gets clotheslined! Randy Orton and Tripe H flee from the ring as The Animal delivers a Spinebuster to Kane and rattles the ropes! Triple H screams that Batista is going to regret this decision.....
A video package of the feud between Divas Champion AJ Lee and Mickie James is next. After AJ Lee defeated Naomi to retain her title on RAW, AJ declared she had no competition in the locker room. Cue the surprise return of Mickie James! Former psycho versus current psycho, legend versus future legend. They exchange verbal barbs over the next few weeks, with Mickie picking up some big wins and earning a title match. During a contract signing on the final RAW before the Royal Rumble, things finally turned physical and Mickie put AJ Lee through a table with a huge bulldog from the top rope! Everything comes to a head tonight with the championship on the line.
Tony Chimel lets us know that this contest is scheduled for one fall as Mickie James makes her entrance and gets emotional at the ovation from the audience in Pittsburgh. Divas Champion AJ Lee is next and she gets a mixed reaction; the fans love her but are definitely backing Mickie in this one.
AJ Lee (c) vs. Mickie James for the WWE Divas Championship
The match kicks off with AJ slapping Mickie across the face! James returns the favour and tackles AJ, raining down a flurry of punches. AJ Lee cowers into the corner but then takes advantage by slamming Mickie to the mat by her hair! AJ taunts Mickie and stomps her in the corner but when the champion charges, Mickie backdrops her over the ropes! Mickie hits a Thez Press from the apron and tosses AJ into the barricade!
They battle on the apron until AJ sends Mickie head first into the ringpost. Mickie seems genuinely hurt and the referee goes to check on her, allowing AJ to expose the turnbuckle on the opposite side of the ring. She shows no regard for her possibly injured challenger, ignoring the ref and dragging Mickie back into the centre of the ring. Out of nowhere, James nails the Mick Kick! AJ is down! 1-2-AJ gets her foot underneath the bottom rope! James goes for the Stratus-faction but AJ Lee launches her into the exposed turnbuckle! Mickie James is out cold! 1-2-3! AJ retains!
Result- AJ Lee wins by pinfall via exposed turnbuckle shot. (12:58)
The Royal Rumble tumbler is back! Stephanie McMahon is overseeing things as superstars enter to pick their spots in the Royal Rumble. We see Alberto Del Rio, Brodus Clay, and other superstars pick their numbers. Triple H and Paul Heyman in the background; they shake hands and it appears that HHH hands Heyman something before he walks off.
"The American Dream" Dusty Rhodes is here! He introduces his sons, the WWE World Tag Team Champions Cody Rhodes and Goldust! The champions hug their father and make their way to the ring for a Six Pack Challenge Elimination Match! After being on the wrong side of The Authority, The Rhodes Brothers have been put in quite the predicament as they look to retain their title's against all odds.
Cody Rhodes and Goldust (c) vs. The New Age Outlaws vs. The Prime Time Players vs. Truth & Consequences vs. Hunico and Camacho vs. The Uso's in a Six Pack Challenge Elimination Match for the WWE World Tag Team Championship
Everything breaks down right off the bat. Bodies are flying everywhere. The Uso's hit a pair of dives over the ropes onto a pile of opponents. Back in the ring Hunico and Camacho eat a pair of Superkicks. Uso Splash to Hunico! 1-2-3!
Jey Uso pins Hunico via Uso Splash (Hunico and Camacho are eliminated)
The Prime Time Players take their turn dominating. Titus hits a Sit-Out Spinebuster to Billy Gunn. Darren Young launches Road Dogg from the ring and dropkicks an incoming Jimmy Uso. Xavier Woods comes out of nowhere with a springboard DDT on Titus O'Neil! Darren Young gets hit with a spinning elbow from R-Truth! Woods and Truth connect with a double Scissor Kick on Titus for the 3 count.
R-Truth pins Titus O'Neil via Double Scissors Kick (The Prime Time Players are eliminated)
Road Dogg chopblocks R-Truth immediately and throws him into the ringpost. Woods gets some shots in on Dogg but turns around into a Fameasser from Billy Gunn! 1-2-3!
Billy Gunn pins Xavier Woods via Fameasser (Truth & Consequences are eliminated)
Road Dogg grabs one of the tag title belts and brings it in the ring. The referee tries to stop him but Billy warns the referee that Triple H will fire him if he gets in their way. Billy holds Goldust as Road Dogg charges with the title ---- Goldust low blows Billy Gunn and ducks; Road Dogg knocks out Billy Gunn with the title belt! Cody Rhodes grabs Road Dogg and hits the Cross Rhodes!
Cody Rhodes pins Billy Gunn via Cross Rhodes (The New Age Outlaws are eliminated)
We are down to two teams. The Rhodes Brothers and The Uso's. The teams gather themselves in opposite corners as the crowd swells to a fever pitch. All four slug it out in the middle. Double Superkick to Goldust sends him to the floor. Cody hits the Bionic Elbow to Jimmy! Alabama Slam to Jey! Cody is all fired up! Cody goes for the Cross Rhodes but nearly gets pinned on a roll up. Double Superkick to Cody! Both The Uso's climb to the top rope but Goldust comes back in and drops Jimmy right on his yambags! Goldust meets Jey on the other side and delivers a giant superplex! BUT JIMMY RECOVERS AND FLIES OFF THE TOP! USO SPLASH TO GOLDUST! 1-2-CODY BREAKS UP THE PIN! Cody hits a Disaster Kick to Jimmy but gets Superkicked by Jey! With his last gasp of energy, Goldust nails Jey with the Final Cut! 1-2-3! Cody and Goldust retain!
Goldust pins Jey Uso via The Final Cut
Result- Cody Rhodes and Goldust retain the WWE World Tag Team Championship. (15:59)
CM Punk is taping his wrists in the locker room when Corporate Kane approaches with a bunch of security. Punk stands up ready to defend himself. But Kane tells him to calm down. He's here with a gift from The Authority. Kane hands Punk a Rumble number from the tumbler and tells him on behalf of The Authority, they wish him luck tonight. Kane leaves as punk opens the ball and shakes his head.
A video package showcases the rivalry between the United States Champion Dean Ambrose and Rob Van Dam. After RVD became # 1 Contender, The Shield brutalized him in a 3 on 1 beatdown. The next week, Rob Van Dam attacked Ambrose with a steel chair and delivered a devastating Van Daminator. Ambrose got busted open but the blood seemed to turn him into some kind of maniac. A bloodied Ambrose cut an iconically intense promo backstage in the boiler room where he challenged RVD to a Hardcore match at the Royal Rumble. Rob Van Dam accepted and began to tap into his hardcore style, even going as far as to bring back his old friend Sabu to help him fend off repeated attacks by The Shield. Tonight this rivalry concludes in a Hardcore match for the US Championship.
Dean Ambrose (c) vs. Rob Van Dam for the United States Championship in a Hardcore Match
Van Dam starts off hot with a barrage of kicks to Ambrose. RVD hits his signature barricade legdrop from the apron! He pulls out a kendo stick and starts unloading on the champion. Ambrose stops the beating by raking RVD's eyes and then snapping the kendo stick in half. Ambrose goes berserk, stabbing RVD with the sharp part of the broken kendo stick repeatedly in the corner as JR tells the TV audience to put their kids to bed because "this match is going to be bowling shoe ugly folks". Van Dam slides out of the ring and we see he's bleeding profusely. Ambrose stalks his prey on the outside but RVD tosses a steel chair full speed at his head! RVD goes under the ring and grabs a couple of trash cans and a lid. He smashes Ambrose over the head with the lid and throws him in the ring. RVD sets up a table on the outside but is momentarily distracted, trying to wipe the blood out of his eyes which allows Ambrose to crush one of the trash cans over Van Dam's head. Like a shark that smells blood in the water, Ambrose pounces on RVD and unloads punches to his open cut. The referee pulls him off and checks on RVD. But Ambrose is not done. Far from it. He goes under the ring and grabs a barbed wired baseball bat! As he gets in the ring, RVD kicks the barbed wired bat into Ambrose's face! Spike DDT! Van Dam puts a trash can over Ambrose's head and props him in the corner. VAN TERMINATOR WITH A STEEL CHAIR INTO THE TRASH CAN! RVD slowly drapes his arm over Ambrose. 1-2-Dean somehow kicks out! They exchange punches in the middle of the ring until Ambrose bites RVD's bloody head!!! RVD punches Ambrose just to get him off of him but Dean rebounds with a lariat that turns RVD inside out! Instead of going for the pin, Ambrose picks up the barbed wired baseball bat and smashes RVD in the back repeatedly! Van Dam rolls to the apron but Ambrose follows him and starts grinding the barbed wire in RVD's face! Using the pure adrenaline of survival instinct, RVD reverses into a suplex over the ropes, sending he and Ambrose crashing through the table on the outside!
The fans chant "Holy shit!" as the announcers question how much more these guys, specifically RVD, can take. RVD is first to his feet and throws Ambrose in the ring. RVD climbs to the top rope but Ambrose hits the ropes and causes him to lose balance. He tosses RVD off the top rope onto a trash can! Ambrose goes under the ring and grabs a bag..... The referee tries to stop him but Ambrose shoves him to the ground and empties the contents all over the ring ---- IT'S THUMBTACKS! He turns around and catches a steel chair hurled at him by RVD! VAN TERMINATOR! Ambrose falls into the tacks! RVD goes up top! FIVE STAR FROG SPLASH INTO THE TACKS! "BY GAWD!" Cover! 1-2-Ambrose kicks out by shoving a handful of tacks into RVD's face! Van Dam screams in pain as a now bloody Ambrose pulls himself to his feet and smiles. DIRTY DEEDS ON THE TACKS! 1-2-3!
Result- Dean Ambrose wins by pinfall via Dirty Deeds onto thumbtacks! (22:22)
Rob Van Dam is taken out on a stretcher as Dean Ambrose sits bloodied in the corner, with thumbtacks all over him and the United States Title over his shoulder, admiring his work.
Writer's Note: This match writes RVD out for the foreseeable future to give him a well deserved break. Ambrose is put over as a sadistic, hardcore, psycho path on RVD's way out.
We cut backstage where Mark Henry and The Big Show are picking their numbers. Stephanie McMahon plays nice with the legendary giants, telling them that there are always advantages to helping The Authority. Mark Henry laughs her off and walks out but Big Show appears to contemplate her words. Daniel Bryan walks in and has a face off with Triple H. Bryan wants to pick his Rumble number but HHH tells him there's only one ball left. He teases not giving it to him but places it in his hands. Bryan opens it, shakes his head and smiles, saying he wouldn't expect anything less from The Authority.
A video package on the history of the Royal Rumble match is next, highlighting past winners, elimination records, and obscure statistics. Ladies and gentlemen. We promised you a great main event.
Main Event- 30 Man Royal Rumble Match
1. Daniel Bryan
2. CM Punk
The two heroes of our story; enemies of The Authority that have been given the insurmountable task of winning from the opening spots if they want to main event Wrestlemania. They slug it out and the fans love every second of it.
3. Big E Langston
The Intercontinental Champion gets a chance to showcase his abilities in full spotlight. He tosses Bryan and Punk around much to the chagrin of the crowd. Punk and Bryan team up to stop the onslaught and slow the big man down.
4. Mark Henry
The World's Strongest Man double clotheslines Punk and Bryan before squaring up with Big E. The two meaty men begin slappin' meat until Henry squashes the IC Champion in the corner and takes advantage.
5. Alexander Rusev
The Bulgarian Brute from NXT goes nose to nose with Mark Henry. Rusev kicks Henry in the head and then charges full speed, clobbering him and sending Mark crashing from the ring for our first official elimination of the night!
Alexander Rusev eliminates Mark Henry
6. Evan Bourne
Bourne quickens the pace of the match and hits a barrage of high flying moves until he meets the brick wall known as Rusev. Rusev gets Bourne in a precarious position and clotheslines him so hard that he takes a nasty backflip bump off the apron ala Paul London 2005.
Alexander Rusev eliminates Evan Bourne
Rusev turns around and realizes he's surrounded by Bryan, Punk, and Big E! He fights valiantly but it's no use. YES+ Knee by Bryan! Rusev is rocked but still standing! GTS by Punk! Rusev is STILL somehow on his feet but falls back against the ropes ..... A clothesline from Big E sends Rusev over the ropes for another elimination!
Big E Langston eliminates Alexander Rusev
7. Alberto Del Rio w/Ricardo Rodriguez
As a former World Champion and Royal Rumble winner, Del Rio has to be considered dangerous in this match. He hits a nasty double foot stomp on Big E and trash talks the fans as they boo him out of the building. Bryan and Punk hit a Hart Attack on Del Rio to a massive pop!
8. Kevin Nash
It looks like The Authority have a couple of tricks up their sleeve tonight. Nash immediately targets Punk and Bryan, savouring the boo's from the audience. Meanwhile, Big E nearly has Del Rio eliminated until Rodriguez hops on the apron and allows Del Rio to get the advantage by jamming him thumb in Big E's eye! Del Rio kicks Big E in the face and eliminates the Intercontinental Champion!
Alberto Del Rio eliminates Big E Langston
Del Rio and Nash team up to beat down Punk and Bryan.
9. John Cena
Business is about to pick up! Cena hits the ring and takes the fight to Del Rio and Nash! AA to Del Rio! Nash immediately takes Cena down with a big boot and mocks the fans, pretending to cry. Jackknife Powerbomb to Cena! Nash tosses Punk over the ropes but Punk skins the cat and starts kicking Nash in his surgically repaired knee's.
10. Big Show
Nash throws Punk into the ring post and has a face off with The World's Largest Athlete. Nash extends his hand, wondering if Show is going to take The Authority up on their offer. Big Show teases joining him --- psych! Knockout Punch by Big Show! Nash crumples to the mat. The fans love it as Big Show gets hyped up and then starts chopping Del Rio in the corner.
11. X-Pac
Another surprise return! But is this another legend doing the bidding of The Authority? Pac does some crotch chops and gets a good reaction as he fist bumps The Big Show and hits a Bronco Buster to Del Rio! But X-Pac cannot be trusted as he kicks Big Show right in the family jewels! Kevin Nash pulls himself to his feet and two sweets X-Pac! Nash goes to stomping on The Big Show as Pac charges for a Bronco Buster on Punk ---- Cena takes X-Pac's head off with a clothesline and then AA's him from the ring!
John Cena eliminates X-Pac
Cena, Punk, and Bryan all attack Kevin Nash and buy enough time for Big Show to recover. Show grabs Nash by the throat and pushes him back over the ropes!
Big Show eliminates Kevin Nash
Show, Cena, Punk, Bryan, and Del Rio all fight and try to eliminate each other as the buzzer sounds for the next entrant.
12. Bray Wyatt
The mood has shifted in the arena! Bray Wyatt comes in like an absolute killer, wrecking everyone in his path. Sister Abigail to CM Punk! Daniel Bryan is the last one standing and the crowd breaks out into thunderous "YES!" chants as Bryan and Wyatt exchange stiff slaps and beat the piss out of each other!
13. Erick Rowan
A coincidence or the puppet strings of The Authority? The Wyatt Family now has two members and begin to dominate. Big Show grabs their throats but Rowan breaks free with several headbutts! Big Show slumps back against the ropes --- Wyatt and Rowan dump him to the floor!
Bray Wyatt and Erick Rowan eliminate Big Show
Wyatt sits in the corner moving his hands like a orchestra conductor as Rowan chokes Daniel Bryan on the opposite side of the ring. Del Rio tries to eliminate John Cena.
14. Brodus Clay
The Funkasaurus is in no dancing mood, he knows how serious this opportunity is and he also knows what he's up against. As soon as he slides in the ring, Wyatt and Rowan put the boots to him. Clay fights back but it's no use. It's Wyatt Family domination as Bray hits a Sister Abigail and then Rowan throws the big man over the ropes.
Erick Rowan eliminates Brodus Clay
CM Punk is Bray Wyatt's next target but he fights for his life and hits a big roundhouse kick to Rowan! Bray has to fend for himself and he smiles, it's time to dance!
15. Kofi Kingston
Kingston is a house of fire, flying all over the ring. SOS to Bray Wyatt! Trouble in Paradise to Del Rio! Kingston springboards off the ropes but gets caught by Erick Rowan! Rowan press slams Kofi to the outside ---- Kofi lands on the barricade! He trust falls back into the crowd and they surf him around as the arena breaks out into huge "KOFI!" chants.
16. Santino Marella
Santino breaks out THE COBRA! Wyatt does the creepy spider walk which freaks Santino out ---- he eliminates himself and walks to the back!
Santino Marella eliminates himself
17. Ezekiel Jackson
As Jackson walks down to the ring, the crowd bring Kofi back to the barricade and he hops to the apron! Bray Wyatt launches himself into Kofi, sending him flying into in the arms of Ezekiel Jackson! Kofi is all pumped up at avoiding elimination twice but Jackson bodyslams Kofi on the floor! Kofi is now out and Big Zeke has his first elimination before he even gets in the ring!
Ezekiel Jackson eliminates Kofi Kingston
Jackson joins the match and exchanges some shoulder blocks with Erick Rowan. Bray Wyatt continues to brawl with Daniel Bryan while John Cena fights Del Rio.
18. Christian
Captain Charisma joins the match and finds himself squaring off with his old rival Ezekiel Jackson. Jackson gets him up for a Powerslam but Christian fights out and hits the Killswitch! Christian then ducks a Bray Wyatt clothesline and hits a Spear! Del Rio cheapshots Christian and tells the fans to shut up as he chokes Captain Charisma in the corner.
19. Chris Jericho
Y2J makes quite the entrance with a boatload of pyro. Jericho slaps Del Rio and locks in the Walls of Jericho! The ring begins to fill up now as strategy changes this late into the match; nobody wants to risk elimination at this point.
20. The Boogeyman
JBL gets real quiet all of a sudden as the legend crawls out and smashes a clock on his head! Boogeyman gets in the ring and begins eating a handful of worms! This gets Bray Wyatt's attention and the two spooky guys have a staredown. The Eater of Worlds vs. The Eater of Worms. Boogeyman sets Wyatt up for the Pumphandle Slam but Erick Rowan boots him in the head and then tosses him from the ring!
Erick Rowan eliminates The Boogeyman
21. Fandango w/Summer Rae
As Fandango dances his way to the ring, Christian and Jericho team up to eliminate Ezekiel Jackson.
Christian and Chris Jericho eliminate Ezekiel Jackson
Fandango sets his sights on Jericho and shows a more vicious side of himself, stomping Y2J relentlessly. Bray Wyatt and Erick Rowan try to eliminate Christian.
22. Luke Harper
The Wyatt Family is now at full strength. They dominate the field and Luke Harper clotheslines Fandango off the apron!
Luke Harper eliminates Fandango
Bray instructs them to eliminate Bryan but Punk and Cena have something to say about that.
23. Bad News Barrett
As Barrett picks the most opportune time to enter, The Wyatt Family gang up on Christian and Bray Wyatt tosses him out!
Bray Wyatt eliminates Christian
Chris Jericho puts up a fight, nailing Rowan with a Codebreaker! The numbers game is still in The Wyatt Family's favour --- Harper decapitates Y2J with a clothesline, and Wyatt eliminates him as well!
Bray Wyatt eliminates Chris Jericho
The clock begins to countdown so Barrett is forced to roll in the ring and Harper attacks him.
24. Shelton Benjamin
AIN'T NO STOPPIN' ME, NOOOO! The Gold Standard makes his return to WWE and gets a nice ovation from the Pittsburgh crowd. He single handedly ends The Wyatt Family's domination by diving onto all three of them! As Bray Wyatt scurries to his feet, Shelton greets him with a T-Bone Suplex! Erick Rowan charges full speed at Daniel Bryan but Bryan avoids him by pulling the rope down and Rowan crashes to the floor!
Daniel Bryan eliminates Erick Rowan
Rowan is pissed and starts dismantling the announce table until the referee's force him to leave. The ring is full of superstars with full intentions of headlining Wrestlemania. Bryan and Punk are spent. Cena too. Del Rio hides in the corner to stay alive. Shelton battles it out with Barrett and Harper. Wyatt pulls himself to his feet.
25. Batista
THE ANIMAL IS HERE! Batista is a one man wrecking crew. Spinebuster to Luke Harper! Batista Bomb to Barrett! Del Rio sneaks up and attempts to toss Batista out but The Animal reverses his momentum and eliminates Del Rio!
Batista eliminates Alberto Del Rio
Batista and Bray Wyatt lock eyes. Wyatt loves it and yells "Show me that Animal, David!" Batista crushes him with a Spear and then finds himself face to face with John Cena. Cena is much more exhausted and ends up getting Spinebustered for his troubles.
26. Roman Reigns
The powerhouse of The Shield enters the ring with bad intentions; Spear to Shelton Benjamin! Superman Punch to Daniel Bryan! Reigns and Batista do battle until Wyatt and Harper attack them ---- Batista and Reigns hit a pair of Spears to The Wyatt Family!
27. Dolph Ziggler
Ziggler comes down with a microphone and tells everyone in the ring that this is his year. Number 27 is the most coveted position as more people have won the Rumble from this spot than any other. He smashes Batista with the microphone and unloads punches on The Animal! Dolph with a Superkick to Barrett and a Zig Zag to John Cena! 10 superstars are left in the ring with 3 more to make their entrance.
28. Seth Rollins
The Architect of The Shield is here and he joins Roman Reigns as they go face to face with Wyatt and Harper! Electricity in the air folks! Things break down; Bray and Roman fight in the corner as Harper drops Rollins with a clothesline! John Cena hoists Luke Harper up and sends him to the floor with an AA!
John Cena eliminates Luke Harper
Bad News Barrett sneaks up and dumps Cena from the ring! John Cena is eliminated! Revenge for The Nexus at last!
Bad News Barrett eliminates John Cena
29. Sheamus
The Celtic Warrior imediately Brogue Kicks Shelton off the apron!
Sheamus eliminates Shelton Benjamin
Everyone fights as the clock counts down for our final entrant.
30. Brock Lesnar w/Paul Heyman
Now we know what Triple H gifted Paul Heyman earlier! The Beast enters the ring and F5's Bad News Barrett to the floor!
Brock Lesnar eliminates Bad News Barrett
Dolph Ziggler jumps on Brock's back and tries to choke him out but Lesnar reverses into an F5 position! Lesnar sends Dolph flying over the ropes!
Brock Lesnar eliminates Dolph Ziggler
Lesnar now targets Batista and hits a series of shoulder blocks in the corner. He picks The Animal up for an F5 but Batista fights out and clotheslines Brock out of the ring!!!
Batista eliminates Brock Lesnar
Brock is in shock along with the announcers and everyone in the arena. He starts pacing around the ring as Batista sets Bray Wyatt up for a Batista Bomb. Lesnar shoves the referee to the ground and slides back in the ring, tossing Batista out!
Brock Lesnar eliminates Batista
Lesnar smashes Batista with the steel steps and then F5's The Animal through the announce table! We're down to five as Rollins and Punk fight on the apron until Punk hits a GTS! Rollins crumbles unconscious to the floor!
CM Punk eliminates Seth Rollins
The final four of the 2014 Royal Rumble: CM Punk, Daniel Bryan, Bray Wyatt, and Roman Reigns. Punk and Bryan entered at number 1 and 2. Incredible accomplishment for them. Roman Reigns Spears Daniel Bryan and then sidesteps Bray Wyatt, sending him flying from the ring!
Roman Reigns eliminates Bray Wyatt
CM Punk hits a GTS on Reigns and all three men are down. Triple H walks down to the ring and rips his jacket off. Kane follows behind him. Punk pulls himself to his feet as tells them to bring it. Randy Orton RKO's CM Punk out of nowhere! The WWE Champion soaks in the boo's as he and Kane throw CM Punk out! "This is bullshit" yells the fans and JR agrees!
Randy Orton and Kane eliminate CM Punk
Triple H smiles and grabs the sledgehammer. Orton and Kane hold Daniel Bryan as HHH charges with the hammer ---- Roman Reigns Spears Triple H! CM Punk pulls Orton from the ring and they brawl into the crowd! Daniel Bryan takes Kane out with the YES+ Knee! With everyone out of the equation, Reigns and Bryan get three minutes of back and forth action, a proper finish to the Rumble. Reigns gets locked in a triangle choke but shows tremendous strength, lifting Bryan up and over the ropes! Bryan holds onto Roman and drags him over with him! They battle on the apron until Bryan viciously kicks Roman in the head! Reigns falls to the floor! Daniel Bryan wins the 2014 Royal Rumble!
Daniel Bryan eliminates Roman Reigns
Winner of the 2014 Royal Rumble: Daniel Bryan
Fireworks explode as Daniel Bryan leads the fans in a YES chant and points at the Wrestlemania sign.
submitted by Drakeishere_RUN to fantasybooking [link] [comments]
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Commentated by Jim Ross, JBL, and Michael Cole
We see some footage of superstars arriving to the arena today. The Authority arrive in a limousine; WWE Champion Randy Orton, Triple H, Stephanie McMahon, and Kane. Daniel Bryan is shown walking with Brie Bella. "The Animal" Batista shows up in a truck and flexes for the camera. The feed cuts and glitches out revealing a dark room with a empty rocking chair moving slowly. "We're here."
The iconic voice of Jim Ross welcomes us to the 2014 Royal Rumble as pyro erupts from the stage and the fans go wild. The Authority's music plays and the mood quickly shifts, the crowd rains down boo's. Here comes the WWE World Champion Randy Orton. Orton talks trash to some fans in the front row while Triple H, Stephanie McMahon, and Kane make their way out as well. Orton raises the title as HHH passes him a microphone. Orton is in a great mood tonight. He's got the night off and there will be 30 men all vying for a chance to get RKO'ed in the main event of Wrestlemania 30. The crowd chants, “Daniel Bryan” as Orton laughs and promises that Bryan doesn't stand a chance. If you want to win the Royal Rumble you have to be taller than these marks in the crowd, you can't be a front row wrestler like Daniel Bryan or CM Punk. The crowd breaks into a deafening “DANIEL BRYAN/CM PUNK!” chant as Orton highlights some of the past winners like himself, Triple H, and Batista. True superstars who all pass the airport test. Triple H takes the microphone and tells the fans to shut the hell up and respect greatness. The reason The Authority are out here is because they want an answer from Batista. Will The Animal join them, take the #30 spot, and win the Rumble to make the biggest Wrestlemania main event a reality? Batista's music hits and he gets a great reaction. First of all, Batista thanks the Pittsburgh fans and everyone in the WWE for welcoming him back with open arms. Batista has a ton of respect for Triple H and Orton after all those years in Evolution. They all shake hands and it looks like he's accepting the offer. Triple H tells Batista to make the right decision and do whats best for business. Batista gives the THUMBS UP! The Authority are all psyched up until.... Batista, who still has his thumb in the air, says "What's best for business.... is listening to these fans! Doing things the hard way, the same way he did it through his whole career. Batista didn't come back to be handed anything, he came back to prove he can still be The Animal. The man who beat Triple H in the main event of Wrestlemania.... The thumbs up is turned into a THUMBS DOWN! Kane charges at Batista but gets clotheslined! Randy Orton and Tripe H flee from the ring as The Animal delivers a Spinebuster to Kane and rattles the ropes! Triple H screams that Batista is going to regret this decision.....
A video package of the feud between Divas Champion AJ Lee and Mickie James is next. After AJ Lee defeated Naomi to retain her title on RAW, AJ declared she had no competition in the locker room. Cue the surprise return of Mickie James! Former psycho versus current psycho, legend versus future legend. They exchange verbal barbs over the next few weeks, with Mickie picking up some big wins and earning a title match. During a contract signing on the final RAW before the Royal Rumble, things finally turned physical and Mickie put AJ Lee through a table with a huge bulldog from the top rope! Everything comes to a head tonight with the championship on the line.
Tony Chimel lets us know that this contest is scheduled for one fall as Mickie James makes her entrance and gets emotional at the ovation from the audience in Pittsburgh. Divas Champion AJ Lee is next and she gets a mixed reaction; the fans love her but are definitely backing Mickie in this one.
AJ Lee (c) vs. Mickie James for the WWE Divas Championship
The match kicks off with AJ slapping Mickie across the face! James returns the favour and tackles AJ, raining down a flurry of punches. AJ Lee cowers into the corner but then takes advantage by slamming Mickie to the mat by her hair! AJ taunts Mickie and stomps her in the corner but when the champion charges, Mickie backdrops her over the ropes! Mickie hits a Thez Press from the apron and tosses AJ into the barricade!
They battle on the apron until AJ sends Mickie head first into the ringpost. Mickie seems genuinely hurt and the referee goes to check on her, allowing AJ to expose the turnbuckle on the opposite side of the ring. She shows no regard for her possibly injured challenger, ignoring the ref and dragging Mickie back into the centre of the ring. Out of nowhere, James nails the Mick Kick! AJ is down! 1-2-AJ gets her foot underneath the bottom rope! James goes for the Stratus-faction but AJ Lee launches her into the exposed turnbuckle! Mickie James is out cold! 1-2-3! AJ retains!
Result- AJ Lee wins by pinfall via exposed turnbuckle shot. (12:58)
The Royal Rumble tumbler is back! Stephanie McMahon is overseeing things as superstars enter to pick their spots in the Royal Rumble. We see Alberto Del Rio, Brodus Clay, and other superstars pick their numbers. Triple H and Paul Heyman in the background; they shake hands and it appears that HHH hands Heyman something before he walks off.
"The American Dream" Dusty Rhodes is here! He introduces his sons, the WWE World Tag Team Champions Cody Rhodes and Goldust! The champions hug their father and make their way to the ring for a Six Pack Challenge Elimination Match! After being on the wrong side of The Authority, The Rhodes Brothers have been put in quite the predicament as they look to retain their title's against all odds.
Cody Rhodes and Goldust (c) vs. The New Age Outlaws vs. The Prime Time Players vs. Truth & Consequences vs. Hunico and Camacho vs. The Uso's in a Six Pack Challenge Elimination Match for the WWE World Tag Team Championship
Everything breaks down right off the bat. Bodies are flying everywhere. The Uso's hit a pair of dives over the ropes onto a pile of opponents. Back in the ring Hunico and Camacho eat a pair of Superkicks. Uso Splash to Hunico! 1-2-3!
Jey Uso pins Hunico via Uso Splash (Hunico and Camacho are eliminated)
The Prime Time Players take their turn dominating. Titus hits a Sit-Out Spinebuster to Billy Gunn. Darren Young launches Road Dogg from the ring and dropkicks an incoming Jimmy Uso. Xavier Woods comes out of nowhere with a springboard DDT on Titus O'Neil! Darren Young gets hit with a spinning elbow from R-Truth! Woods and Truth connect with a double Scissor Kick on Titus for the 3 count.
R-Truth pins Titus O'Neil via Double Scissors Kick (The Prime Time Players are eliminated)
Road Dogg chopblocks R-Truth immediately and throws him into the ringpost. Woods gets some shots in on Dogg but turns around into a Fameasser from Billy Gunn! 1-2-3!
Billy Gunn pins Xavier Woods via Fameasser (Truth & Consequences are eliminated)
Road Dogg grabs one of the tag title belts and brings it in the ring. The referee tries to stop him but Billy warns the referee that Triple H will fire him if he gets in their way. Billy holds Goldust as Road Dogg charges with the title ---- Goldust low blows Billy Gunn and ducks; Road Dogg knocks out Billy Gunn with the title belt! Cody Rhodes grabs Road Dogg and hits the Cross Rhodes!
Cody Rhodes pins Billy Gunn via Cross Rhodes (The New Age Outlaws are eliminated)
We are down to two teams. The Rhodes Brothers and The Uso's. The teams gather themselves in opposite corners as the crowd swells to a fever pitch. All four slug it out in the middle. Double Superkick to Goldust sends him to the floor. Cody hits the Bionic Elbow to Jimmy! Alabama Slam to Jey! Cody is all fired up! Cody goes for the Cross Rhodes but nearly gets pinned on a roll up. Double Superkick to Cody! Both The Uso's climb to the top rope but Goldust comes back in and drops Jimmy right on his yambags! Goldust meets Jey on the other side and delivers a giant superplex! BUT JIMMY RECOVERS AND FLIES OFF THE TOP! USO SPLASH TO GOLDUST! 1-2-CODY BREAKS UP THE PIN! Cody hits a Disaster Kick to Jimmy but gets Superkicked by Jey! With his last gasp of energy, Goldust nails Jey with the Final Cut! 1-2-3! Cody and Goldust retain!
Goldust pins Jey Uso via The Final Cut
Result- Cody Rhodes and Goldust retain the WWE World Tag Team Championship. (15:59)
CM Punk is taping his wrists in the locker room when Corporate Kane approaches with a bunch of security. Punk stands up ready to defend himself. But Kane tells him to calm down. He's here with a gift from The Authority. Kane hands Punk a Rumble number from the tumbler and tells him on behalf of The Authority, they wish him luck tonight. Kane leaves as punk opens the ball and shakes his head.
A video package showcases the rivalry between the United States Champion Dean Ambrose and Rob Van Dam. After RVD became # 1 Contender, The Shield brutalized him in a 3 on 1 beatdown. The next week, Rob Van Dam attacked Ambrose with a steel chair and delivered a devastating Van Daminator. Ambrose got busted open but the blood seemed to turn him into some kind of maniac. A bloodied Ambrose cut an iconically intense promo backstage in the boiler room where he challenged RVD to a Hardcore match at the Royal Rumble. Rob Van Dam accepted and began to tap into his hardcore style, even going as far as to bring back his old friend Sabu to help him fend off repeated attacks by The Shield. Tonight this rivalry concludes in a Hardcore match for the US Championship.
Dean Ambrose (c) vs. Rob Van Dam for the United States Championship in a Hardcore Match
Van Dam starts off hot with a barrage of kicks to Ambrose. RVD hits his signature barricade legdrop from the apron! He pulls out a kendo stick and starts unloading on the champion. Ambrose stops the beating by raking RVD's eyes and then snapping the kendo stick in half. Ambrose goes berserk, stabbing RVD with the sharp part of the broken kendo stick repeatedly in the corner as JR tells the TV audience to put their kids to bed because "this match is going to be bowling shoe ugly folks". Van Dam slides out of the ring and we see he's bleeding profusely. Ambrose stalks his prey on the outside but RVD tosses a steel chair full speed at his head! RVD goes under the ring and grabs a couple of trash cans and a lid. He smashes Ambrose over the head with the lid and throws him in the ring. RVD sets up a table on the outside but is momentarily distracted, trying to wipe the blood out of his eyes which allows Ambrose to crush one of the trash cans over Van Dam's head. Like a shark that smells blood in the water, Ambrose pounces on RVD and unloads punches to his open cut. The referee pulls him off and checks on RVD. But Ambrose is not done. Far from it. He goes under the ring and grabs a barbed wired baseball bat! As he gets in the ring, RVD kicks the barbed wired bat into Ambrose's face! Spike DDT! Van Dam puts a trash can over Ambrose's head and props him in the corner. VAN TERMINATOR WITH A STEEL CHAIR INTO THE TRASH CAN! RVD slowly drapes his arm over Ambrose. 1-2-Dean somehow kicks out! They exchange punches in the middle of the ring until Ambrose bites RVD's bloody head!!! RVD punches Ambrose just to get him off of him but Dean rebounds with a lariat that turns RVD inside out! Instead of going for the pin, Ambrose picks up the barbed wired baseball bat and smashes RVD in the back repeatedly! Van Dam rolls to the apron but Ambrose follows him and starts grinding the barbed wire in RVD's face! Using the pure adrenaline of survival instinct, RVD reverses into a suplex over the ropes, sending he and Ambrose crashing through the table on the outside!
The fans chant "Holy shit!" as the announcers question how much more these guys, specifically RVD, can take. RVD is first to his feet and throws Ambrose in the ring. RVD climbs to the top rope but Ambrose hits the ropes and causes him to lose balance. He tosses RVD off the top rope onto a trash can! Ambrose goes under the ring and grabs a bag..... The referee tries to stop him but Ambrose shoves him to the ground and empties the contents all over the ring ---- IT'S THUMBTACKS! He turns around and catches a steel chair hurled at him by RVD! VAN TERMINATOR! Ambrose falls into the tacks! RVD goes up top! FIVE STAR FROG SPLASH INTO THE TACKS! "BY GAWD!" Cover! 1-2-Ambrose kicks out by shoving a handful of tacks into RVD's face! Van Dam screams in pain as a now bloody Ambrose pulls himself to his feet and smiles. DIRTY DEEDS ON THE TACKS! 1-2-3!
Result- Dean Ambrose wins by pinfall via Dirty Deeds onto thumbtacks! (22:22)
Rob Van Dam is taken out on a stretcher as Dean Ambrose sits bloodied in the corner, with thumbtacks all over him and the United States Title over his shoulder, admiring his work.
Writer's Note: This match writes RVD out for the foreseeable future to give him a well deserved break. Ambrose is put over as a sadistic, hardcore, psycho path on RVD's way out.
We cut backstage where Mark Henry and The Big Show are picking their numbers. Stephanie McMahon plays nice with the legendary giants, telling them that there are always advantages to helping The Authority. Mark Henry laughs her off and walks out but Big Show appears to contemplate her words. Daniel Bryan walks in and has a face off with Triple H. Bryan wants to pick his Rumble number but HHH tells him there's only one ball left. He teases not giving it to him but places it in his hands. Bryan opens it, shakes his head and smiles, saying he wouldn't expect anything less from The Authority.
A video package on the history of the Royal Rumble match is next, highlighting past winners, elimination records, and obscure statistics. Ladies and gentlemen. We promised you a great main event.
Main Event- 30 Man Royal Rumble Match
1. Daniel Bryan
2. CM Punk
The two heroes of our story; enemies of The Authority that have been given the insurmountable task of winning from the opening spots if they want to main event Wrestlemania. They slug it out and the fans love every second of it.
3. Big E Langston
The Intercontinental Champion gets a chance to showcase his abilities in full spotlight. He tosses Bryan and Punk around much to the chagrin of the crowd. Punk and Bryan team up to stop the onslaught and slow the big man down.
4. Mark Henry
The World's Strongest Man double clotheslines Punk and Bryan before squaring up with Big E. The two meaty men begin slappin' meat until Henry squashes the IC Champion in the corner and takes advantage.
5. Alexander Rusev
The Bulgarian Brute from NXT goes nose to nose with Mark Henry. Rusev kicks Henry in the head and then charges full speed, clobbering him and sending Mark crashing from the ring for our first official elimination of the night!
Alexander Rusev eliminates Mark Henry
6. Evan Bourne
Bourne quickens the pace of the match and hits a barrage of high flying moves until he meets the brick wall known as Rusev. Rusev gets Bourne in a precarious position and clotheslines him so hard that he takes a nasty backflip bump off the apron ala Paul London 2005.
Alexander Rusev eliminates Evan Bourne
Rusev turns around and realizes he's surrounded by Bryan, Punk, and Big E! He fights valiantly but it's no use. YES+ Knee by Bryan! Rusev is rocked but still standing! GTS by Punk! Rusev is STILL somehow on his feet but falls back against the ropes ..... A clothesline from Big E sends Rusev over the ropes for another elimination!
Big E Langston eliminates Alexander Rusev
7. Alberto Del Rio w/Ricardo Rodriguez
As a former World Champion and Royal Rumble winner, Del Rio has to be considered dangerous in this match. He hits a nasty double foot stomp on Big E and trash talks the fans as they boo him out of the building. Bryan and Punk hit a Hart Attack on Del Rio to a massive pop!
8. Kevin Nash
It looks like The Authority have a couple of tricks up their sleeve tonight. Nash immediately targets Punk and Bryan, savouring the boo's from the audience. Meanwhile, Big E nearly has Del Rio eliminated until Rodriguez hops on the apron and allows Del Rio to get the advantage by jamming him thumb in Big E's eye! Del Rio kicks Big E in the face and eliminates the Intercontinental Champion!
Alberto Del Rio eliminates Big E Langston
Del Rio and Nash team up to beat down Punk and Bryan.
9. John Cena
Business is about to pick up! Cena hits the ring and takes the fight to Del Rio and Nash! AA to Del Rio! Nash immediately takes Cena down with a big boot and mocks the fans, pretending to cry. Jackknife Powerbomb to Cena! Nash tosses Punk over the ropes but Punk skins the cat and starts kicking Nash in his surgically repaired knee's.
10. Big Show
Nash throws Punk into the ring post and has a face off with The World's Largest Athlete. Nash extends his hand, wondering if Show is going to take The Authority up on their offer. Big Show teases joining him --- psych! Knockout Punch by Big Show! Nash crumples to the mat. The fans love it as Big Show gets hyped up and then starts chopping Del Rio in the corner.
11. X-Pac
Another surprise return! But is this another legend doing the bidding of The Authority? Pac does some crotch chops and gets a good reaction as he fist bumps The Big Show and hits a Bronco Buster to Del Rio! But X-Pac cannot be trusted as he kicks Big Show right in the family jewels! Kevin Nash pulls himself to his feet and two sweets X-Pac! Nash goes to stomping on The Big Show as Pac charges for a Bronco Buster on Punk ---- Cena takes X-Pac's head off with a clothesline and then AA's him from the ring!
John Cena eliminates X-Pac
Cena, Punk, and Bryan all attack Kevin Nash and buy enough time for Big Show to recover. Show grabs Nash by the throat and pushes him back over the ropes!
Big Show eliminates Kevin Nash
Show, Cena, Punk, Bryan, and Del Rio all fight and try to eliminate each other as the buzzer sounds for the next entrant.
12. Bray Wyatt
The mood has shifted in the arena! Bray Wyatt comes in like an absolute killer, wrecking everyone in his path. Sister Abigail to CM Punk! Daniel Bryan is the last one standing and the crowd breaks out into thunderous "YES!" chants as Bryan and Wyatt exchange stiff slaps and beat the piss out of each other!
13. Erick Rowan
A coincidence or the puppet strings of The Authority? The Wyatt Family now has two members and begin to dominate. Big Show grabs their throats but Rowan breaks free with several headbutts! Big Show slumps back against the ropes --- Wyatt and Rowan dump him to the floor!
Bray Wyatt and Erick Rowan eliminate Big Show
Wyatt sits in the corner moving his hands like a orchestra conductor as Rowan chokes Daniel Bryan on the opposite side of the ring. Del Rio tries to eliminate John Cena.
14. Brodus Clay
The Funkasaurus is in no dancing mood, he knows how serious this opportunity is and he also knows what he's up against. As soon as he slides in the ring, Wyatt and Rowan put the boots to him. Clay fights back but it's no use. It's Wyatt Family domination as Bray hits a Sister Abigail and then Rowan throws the big man over the ropes.
Erick Rowan eliminates Brodus Clay
CM Punk is Bray Wyatt's next target but he fights for his life and hits a big roundhouse kick to Rowan! Bray has to fend for himself and he smiles, it's time to dance!
15. Kofi Kingston
Kingston is a house of fire, flying all over the ring. SOS to Bray Wyatt! Trouble in Paradise to Del Rio! Kingston springboards off the ropes but gets caught by Erick Rowan! Rowan press slams Kofi to the outside ---- Kofi lands on the barricade! He trust falls back into the crowd and they surf him around as the arena breaks out into huge "KOFI!" chants.
16. Santino Marella
Santino breaks out THE COBRA! Wyatt does the creepy spider walk which freaks Santino out ---- he eliminates himself and walks to the back!
Santino Marella eliminates himself
17. Ezekiel Jackson
As Jackson walks down to the ring, the crowd bring Kofi back to the barricade and he hops to the apron! Bray Wyatt launches himself into Kofi, sending him flying into in the arms of Ezekiel Jackson! Kofi is all pumped up at avoiding elimination twice but Jackson bodyslams Kofi on the floor! Kofi is now out and Big Zeke has his first elimination before he even gets in the ring!
Ezekiel Jackson eliminates Kofi Kingston
Jackson joins the match and exchanges some shoulder blocks with Erick Rowan. Bray Wyatt continues to brawl with Daniel Bryan while John Cena fights Del Rio.
18. Christian
Captain Charisma joins the match and finds himself squaring off with his old rival Ezekiel Jackson. Jackson gets him up for a Powerslam but Christian fights out and hits the Killswitch! Christian then ducks a Bray Wyatt clothesline and hits a Spear! Del Rio cheapshots Christian and tells the fans to shut up as he chokes Captain Charisma in the corner.
19. Chris Jericho
Y2J makes quite the entrance with a boatload of pyro. Jericho slaps Del Rio and locks in the Walls of Jericho! The ring begins to fill up now as strategy changes this late into the match; nobody wants to risk elimination at this point.
20. The Boogeyman
JBL gets real quiet all of a sudden as the legend crawls out and smashes a clock on his head! Boogeyman gets in the ring and begins eating a handful of worms! This gets Bray Wyatt's attention and the two spooky guys have a staredown. The Eater of Worlds vs. The Eater of Worms. Boogeyman sets Wyatt up for the Pumphandle Slam but Erick Rowan boots him in the head and then tosses him from the ring!
Erick Rowan eliminates The Boogeyman
21. Fandango w/Summer Rae
As Fandango dances his way to the ring, Christian and Jericho team up to eliminate Ezekiel Jackson.
Christian and Chris Jericho eliminate Ezekiel Jackson
Fandango sets his sights on Jericho and shows a more vicious side of himself, stomping Y2J relentlessly. Bray Wyatt and Erick Rowan try to eliminate Christian.
22. Luke Harper
The Wyatt Family is now at full strength. They dominate the field and Luke Harper clotheslines Fandango off the apron!
Luke Harper eliminates Fandango
Bray instructs them to eliminate Bryan but Punk and Cena have something to say about that.
23. Bad News Barrett
As Barrett picks the most opportune time to enter, The Wyatt Family gang up on Christian and Bray Wyatt tosses him out!
Bray Wyatt eliminates Christian
Chris Jericho puts up a fight, nailing Rowan with a Codebreaker! The numbers game is still in The Wyatt Family's favour --- Harper decapitates Y2J with a clothesline, and Wyatt eliminates him as well!
Bray Wyatt eliminates Chris Jericho
The clock begins to countdown so Barrett is forced to roll in the ring and Harper attacks him.
24. Shelton Benjamin
AIN'T NO STOPPIN' ME, NOOOO! The Gold Standard makes his return to WWE and gets a nice ovation from the Pittsburgh crowd. He single handedly ends The Wyatt Family's domination by diving onto all three of them! As Bray Wyatt scurries to his feet, Shelton greets him with a T-Bone Suplex! Erick Rowan charges full speed at Daniel Bryan but Bryan avoids him by pulling the rope down and Rowan crashes to the floor!
Daniel Bryan eliminates Erick Rowan
Rowan is pissed and starts dismantling the announce table until the referee's force him to leave. The ring is full of superstars with full intentions of headlining Wrestlemania. Bryan and Punk are spent. Cena too. Del Rio hides in the corner to stay alive. Shelton battles it out with Barrett and Harper. Wyatt pulls himself to his feet.
25. Batista
THE ANIMAL IS HERE! Batista is a one man wrecking crew. Spinebuster to Luke Harper! Batista Bomb to Barrett! Del Rio sneaks up and attempts to toss Batista out but The Animal reverses his momentum and eliminates Del Rio!
Batista eliminates Alberto Del Rio
Batista and Bray Wyatt lock eyes. Wyatt loves it and yells "Show me that Animal, David!" Batista crushes him with a Spear and then finds himself face to face with John Cena. Cena is much more exhausted and ends up getting Spinebustered for his troubles.
26. Roman Reigns
The powerhouse of The Shield enters the ring with bad intentions; Spear to Shelton Benjamin! Superman Punch to Daniel Bryan! Reigns and Batista do battle until Wyatt and Harper attack them ---- Batista and Reigns hit a pair of Spears to The Wyatt Family!
27. Dolph Ziggler
Ziggler comes down with a microphone and tells everyone in the ring that this is his year. Number 27 is the most coveted position as more people have won the Rumble from this spot than any other. He smashes Batista with the microphone and unloads punches on The Animal! Dolph with a Superkick to Barrett and a Zig Zag to John Cena! 10 superstars are left in the ring with 3 more to make their entrance.
28. Seth Rollins
The Architect of The Shield is here and he joins Roman Reigns as they go face to face with Wyatt and Harper! Electricity in the air folks! Things break down; Bray and Roman fight in the corner as Harper drops Rollins with a clothesline! John Cena hoists Luke Harper up and sends him to the floor with an AA!
John Cena eliminates Luke Harper
Bad News Barrett sneaks up and dumps Cena from the ring! John Cena is eliminated! Revenge for The Nexus at last!
Bad News Barrett eliminates John Cena
29. Sheamus
The Celtic Warrior imediately Brogue Kicks Shelton off the apron!
Sheamus eliminates Shelton Benjamin
Everyone fights as the clock counts down for our final entrant.
30. Brock Lesnar w/Paul Heyman
Now we know what Triple H gifted Paul Heyman earlier! The Beast enters the ring and F5's Bad News Barrett to the floor!
Brock Lesnar eliminates Bad News Barrett
Dolph Ziggler jumps on Brock's back and tries to choke him out but Lesnar reverses into an F5 position! Lesnar sends Dolph flying over the ropes!
Brock Lesnar eliminates Dolph Ziggler
Lesnar now targets Batista and hits a series of shoulder blocks in the corner. He picks The Animal up for an F5 but Batista fights out and clotheslines Brock out of the ring!!!
Batista eliminates Brock Lesnar
Brock is in shock along with the announcers and everyone in the arena. He starts pacing around the ring as Batista sets Bray Wyatt up for a Batista Bomb. Lesnar shoves the referee to the ground and slides back in the ring, tossing Batista out!
Brock Lesnar eliminates Batista
Lesnar smashes Batista with the steel steps and then F5's The Animal through the announce table! We're down to five as Rollins and Punk fight on the apron until Punk hits a GTS! Rollins crumbles unconscious to the floor!
CM Punk eliminates Seth Rollins
The final four of the 2014 Royal Rumble: CM Punk, Daniel Bryan, Bray Wyatt, and Roman Reigns. Punk and Bryan entered at number 1 and 2. Incredible accomplishment for them. Roman Reigns Spears Daniel Bryan and then sidesteps Bray Wyatt, sending him flying from the ring!
Roman Reigns eliminates Bray Wyatt
CM Punk hits a GTS on Reigns and all three men are down. Triple H walks down to the ring and rips his jacket off. Kane follows behind him. Punk pulls himself to his feet as tells them to bring it. Randy Orton RKO's CM Punk out of nowhere! The WWE Champion soaks in the boo's as he and Kane throw CM Punk out! "This is bullshit" yells the fans and JR agrees!
Randy Orton and Kane eliminate CM Punk
Triple H smiles and grabs the sledgehammer. Orton and Kane hold Daniel Bryan as HHH charges with the hammer ---- Roman Reigns Spears Triple H! CM Punk pulls Orton from the ring and they brawl into the crowd! Daniel Bryan takes Kane out with the YES+ Knee! With everyone out of the equation, Reigns and Bryan get three minutes of back and forth action, a proper finish to the Rumble. Reigns gets locked in a triangle choke but shows tremendous strength, lifting Bryan up and over the ropes! Bryan holds onto Roman and drags him over with him! They battle on the apron until Bryan viciously kicks Roman in the head! Reigns falls to the floor! Daniel Bryan wins the 2014 Royal Rumble!
Daniel Bryan eliminates Roman Reigns
Winner of the 2014 Royal Rumble: Daniel Bryan
Fireworks explode as Daniel Bryan leads the fans in a YES chant and points at the Wrestlemania sign.
2024.05.19 15:31 RyanNoSleep I am the last of the Cocoanut Grove Fire
I was a busboy at the Cocoanut Grove. That Saturday, the place was a heaving mass of humanity. Soldiers on leave, couples on dates, socialites, and gangsters—the club was their playground, and I was just an invisible part of the scenery. The air was a haze of smoke and alcohol, thick enough to choke on.
It was around 10:15 PM when I first saw him. A man in a dark, heavy coat, standing by the service door near the kitchen. Odd attire for such a warm, crowded club, but what really caught my eye was his face. His eyes were black pits, empty yet somehow full of a cold, malevolent hunger. His smile was a razor-thin line, cutting through his face like a wound. He gestured for me to come closer, but before I could move, he slipped into the kitchen.
Seconds later, the lights flickered, and fire erupted in the Melody Lounge. The flames didn’t spread—they leapt, as if alive, cutting off exits with a terrifying, unnatural precision. Panic ignited, and the crowd became a stampede. I tried to guide people to safety, but the fire seemed to anticipate our every move.
As I fought my way toward the kitchen, hoping for another way out, I witnessed horrors that will forever be etched into my memory.
The first was a young woman in a red dress. She had been dancing with her boyfriend moments before the fire broke out. When the flames began to spread, she tried to run, but the crowd was too thick. She stumbled and fell right in front of me. In the chaos, no one stopped to help her. The flames reached her, and her screams pierced through the cacophony. Her dress ignited, the fabric melting into her skin. I watched in horror as her flesh bubbled and peeled away, revealing raw, charred muscle beneath. Her eyes locked onto mine, pleading for help, before the fire consumed her completely. I couldn’t do anything but keep moving, the image of her agony seared into my mind.
Further ahead, near the bar, a middle-aged man, a regular at the club, was pounding on a locked door that led to the staff area. His hands were bloody, and his face was contorted in sheer panic. The smoke was thickening, making it hard to breathe. I saw him drop to his knees, clawing at his throat as he began to choke. His skin turned a sickly blue as he suffocated. The fire found him next, wrapping around his legs and creeping up his body. His screams were a mix of terror and pain as the flames cooked him alive, turning him into a grotesque statue of blackened bone and seared flesh. I wanted to help, but the fire was relentless, and I had to keep moving.
Near the back exit, which had been illegally locked to prevent people from sneaking in without paying, I saw a young couple—newlyweds celebrating their honeymoon. The husband was trying to shield his wife with his body as they pounded on the unyielding door. The fire closed in, and I heard their desperate cries for help. The flames licked at their legs, their screams merging into a single, horrifying wail. The husband’s back blistered and burst, his skin sloughing off in sheets. The wife’s hair ignited, and she clawed at her scalp in a futile attempt to extinguish the flames. They held each other as they burned, their bodies fusing together in a grotesque, charred embrace. I was frozen in place, unable to look away, until a surge of heat pushed me to keep moving.
I fought through the flames, dodging falling debris and stumbling over lifeless bodies. The heat was unbearable, the air thick with smoke and the stench of burning flesh. Finally, I found a side door and burst into the alley, gulping in the cool night air. As I looked back, the building was fully engulfed, the screams of the trapped mingling with an unholy laughter that echoed in my ears long after.
The official reports blamed faulty wiring and overcrowding, but I know better. The man in the dark coat—he wasn’t human. He was something ancient, something that revels in chaos and feeds on fear. Since that night, I’ve been plagued by dark dreams and even darker realities. Doors in my house creak open on their own, whispers drift through the night, and I see shadows moving just beyond my vision.
Every anniversary, the nightmares get worse, and I feel his presence more acutely. It’s as if the fire forged a bond between us, a bond I can’t break. I’ve tried to tell my story, but no one believes me. They think I’m just a traumatized survivor, driven mad by the horrors I witnessed.
But I know the truth. And now, so do you.
If you’re reading this, I’m begging, heed my warning. On the anniversary of the Cocoanut Grove fire, stay away from dark, crowded places. If you see a man in a dark coat with eyes like voids, don’t approach him. Run, and don’t look back.
Because once he marks you, there’s no escape. The flames will find you, and Hell will claim its due.
Tonight, as I write this, I can feel the heat building, the shadows lengthening. He’s close. I can hear his whisper just beyond the door. I don’t know if I’ll survive another anniversary, but if I don’t, remember my story.
Remember that some fires are more than just flames. They are gateways, and some doors should never be opened.
submitted by RyanNoSleep to nosleep [link] [comments]
It was around 10:15 PM when I first saw him. A man in a dark, heavy coat, standing by the service door near the kitchen. Odd attire for such a warm, crowded club, but what really caught my eye was his face. His eyes were black pits, empty yet somehow full of a cold, malevolent hunger. His smile was a razor-thin line, cutting through his face like a wound. He gestured for me to come closer, but before I could move, he slipped into the kitchen.
Seconds later, the lights flickered, and fire erupted in the Melody Lounge. The flames didn’t spread—they leapt, as if alive, cutting off exits with a terrifying, unnatural precision. Panic ignited, and the crowd became a stampede. I tried to guide people to safety, but the fire seemed to anticipate our every move.
As I fought my way toward the kitchen, hoping for another way out, I witnessed horrors that will forever be etched into my memory.
The first was a young woman in a red dress. She had been dancing with her boyfriend moments before the fire broke out. When the flames began to spread, she tried to run, but the crowd was too thick. She stumbled and fell right in front of me. In the chaos, no one stopped to help her. The flames reached her, and her screams pierced through the cacophony. Her dress ignited, the fabric melting into her skin. I watched in horror as her flesh bubbled and peeled away, revealing raw, charred muscle beneath. Her eyes locked onto mine, pleading for help, before the fire consumed her completely. I couldn’t do anything but keep moving, the image of her agony seared into my mind.
Further ahead, near the bar, a middle-aged man, a regular at the club, was pounding on a locked door that led to the staff area. His hands were bloody, and his face was contorted in sheer panic. The smoke was thickening, making it hard to breathe. I saw him drop to his knees, clawing at his throat as he began to choke. His skin turned a sickly blue as he suffocated. The fire found him next, wrapping around his legs and creeping up his body. His screams were a mix of terror and pain as the flames cooked him alive, turning him into a grotesque statue of blackened bone and seared flesh. I wanted to help, but the fire was relentless, and I had to keep moving.
Near the back exit, which had been illegally locked to prevent people from sneaking in without paying, I saw a young couple—newlyweds celebrating their honeymoon. The husband was trying to shield his wife with his body as they pounded on the unyielding door. The fire closed in, and I heard their desperate cries for help. The flames licked at their legs, their screams merging into a single, horrifying wail. The husband’s back blistered and burst, his skin sloughing off in sheets. The wife’s hair ignited, and she clawed at her scalp in a futile attempt to extinguish the flames. They held each other as they burned, their bodies fusing together in a grotesque, charred embrace. I was frozen in place, unable to look away, until a surge of heat pushed me to keep moving.
I fought through the flames, dodging falling debris and stumbling over lifeless bodies. The heat was unbearable, the air thick with smoke and the stench of burning flesh. Finally, I found a side door and burst into the alley, gulping in the cool night air. As I looked back, the building was fully engulfed, the screams of the trapped mingling with an unholy laughter that echoed in my ears long after.
The official reports blamed faulty wiring and overcrowding, but I know better. The man in the dark coat—he wasn’t human. He was something ancient, something that revels in chaos and feeds on fear. Since that night, I’ve been plagued by dark dreams and even darker realities. Doors in my house creak open on their own, whispers drift through the night, and I see shadows moving just beyond my vision.
Every anniversary, the nightmares get worse, and I feel his presence more acutely. It’s as if the fire forged a bond between us, a bond I can’t break. I’ve tried to tell my story, but no one believes me. They think I’m just a traumatized survivor, driven mad by the horrors I witnessed.
But I know the truth. And now, so do you.
If you’re reading this, I’m begging, heed my warning. On the anniversary of the Cocoanut Grove fire, stay away from dark, crowded places. If you see a man in a dark coat with eyes like voids, don’t approach him. Run, and don’t look back.
Because once he marks you, there’s no escape. The flames will find you, and Hell will claim its due.
Tonight, as I write this, I can feel the heat building, the shadows lengthening. He’s close. I can hear his whisper just beyond the door. I don’t know if I’ll survive another anniversary, but if I don’t, remember my story.
Remember that some fires are more than just flames. They are gateways, and some doors should never be opened.
2024.05.19 15:31 SpecialistDevice5770 Did Taylor have a secret relationship with Julien Baker?
 | Look, this is high level clowning. I don't typically speculate about muses and I've mostly been a casual listener of Taylor. Actually, to be completely frank I've also dismissed a lot of gaylor theories as intentional queerbating on Taylor's part, even if my gay little heart would love it if she was one of us. However, this 89th show truly awakened something in me with how unashamedly lesbian it was. submitted by SpecialistDevice5770 to GaylorSwift [link] [comments] So, seeing her do both Peter and Guilty as sin in Stockholm, I started thinking about Matty Healy and TTPD and what could have actually gone on in her life for her to write these lyrics - and I truly believe one of the muses for TTPD was Julien Baker. I understand this feels like it comes out of left field, but hear me out: Matty is a wild choice for a beard, for a lot of reasons, but it makes sense of she chooses her beards intentionally to conceal as much of what is actually going on in her life as possible. Julien and Matty were running in the same circles, so it gave Taylor a lot of plausible deniability. It also explains Matty signing up for it, doing a favor for several people he consider friends (at least Taylor, Phoebe, Jack). It would explain things like the "this is for you, i love you, you know who you are" - Julien was at that same show, and Matty saying it a few days earlier would make sense if Taylor needed cover up since she was planning to make a public move. Why she wanted to do that becomes clear a little further down this text. I also don't think she meant "this is about you", because as been theorized on this sub, cardigan is likely about Karlie Kloss. I think she literally meant "this is for you" as in, this is a song you like. Either way, let me wind back just a little bit and explain my reasoning. Why not Phoebe Bridgers? Okay, so I know there are some people on this subreddit that think that Phoebe and Taylor had a thing, however, a lot of the lyrics in TTPD wouldn't make sense with Phoebe (tattooed golden retriever? substance abuse issues?), and the timeline would be wonky - when the relationship is supposed to have happened Phoebe was seen with Bo Burnham, and tbh, to me their interactions have seen like they ended up on film unintentionally and also they seemed quite real. Phoebe's and Taylor's relationship has been way longer than the slow start-intense middle and end described in TTPD would suggest. Also, I think the sexuality/identity crisis in TTPD would suggest Taylor had some "new" influence in her life - if the Gaylor theories are correct she has been dating people who are either closeted or bisexual for years - but someone who is openly gay and has even slyly criticized Taylor for queerbaiting in the past (see this billboard article: https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.billboard.com/music/rock/julien-baker-summer-of-pride-playlist-interview-8518598/amp/) - that is a whole different ballgame, and would probably function as inspiration for TTPD. Would Julien Baker make sense? Yes - first of all, look at Julien next to Matty - who here looks more like a tattooed golden retriever? https://preview.redd.it/ek0mzey4rd1d1.jpg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e3d8c9716fa7f9f2d8ec350ee5f9c37268f5f589 https://preview.redd.it/bxfrzvo0wd1d1.jpg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8aab59531a72cc7984df92e5cb1dc63d51d0d870 But also, Julien lives in Nashville. She has been friends with Phoebe Bridgers for years, so Taylor and Julien would have naturally met at parties or functions, and thinking that a closeted Taylor might need a queer friend to confide in - to me it seems only natural that she would gravitate to and take an interest in Julien. Notably, if you look at their respective instagrams, it also seemed like Julien broke up with her partner around the end of 2022, so perhaps not that strange if she needed more support, especially considering she has been vocal about mental health issues and her substance use. Both Lucy and Phoebe lives in Philly, so where could Julien go for support? Taylor's? Look, I know a lot of this is conjecture, but I personally think the most damning piece of evidence is seeing boygenius interact with Taylor at the Grammys - first of all look how happy Lucy and Phoebe seem to see her, like they don't seem to be the source of it being awkward as it later REALLY is. Also, look at the difference in the way she is embracing Julien: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGeXkVr4p/ And then look at this video - for some reason the sound is cut out while she is talking to Julien, but the most important part to me is how the boygeniuses seem to stand in between Taylor and Julien, and how everyone - Jack, Lucy, Phoebe - seem to comfort Julien throughout the interaction, especially the way Phoebe comforts her as soon as Taylor has approached her: https://ohnotheydidnt.livejournal.com/127739095.html Taylor is acting a little weird and erratic, and people say it is because she wants to make things about herself - honestly never a good explanation for human behavior. However, something that could explain it is if you just announced an album that your ex knows is partially about them, and you haven't seen them since your whirlwind romance, and they seem visibly upset. That would make anyone a little nervous. Julien is actually sad in those videos, those are not tears of joy. What other explanation could there be for that? (Also, I can see people being like, 'it's because they won a grammy - does this Julien, just a few moments earlier, seem sad to you? https://youtu.be/mI-MMMhLsow?si=X5XEX3CLMqsHyogJ The explanation that I have seen when looking around is that they had a discussion about the chairman of the Grammy's being a d*ck just before this happened, and while I think that is true, that seems a little far-fetched to me in terms of why she is looking so sad) Song references - Fortnight So let's talk some lyrics! This one I find interesting. Phoebe Bridgers toured with Taylor for about a month, and we know that Julien was there for at least the two first nights. (I just have to post this video of Julien and Matty at the eras tour... one of them seem like they are in a very new relationship, for sure: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGeXBkeD8/) We also know that Julien lives in Nashville and easily could have been present for that time, and that she could have been around in Philly as that is where Lucy and Phoebe lives, so she would have had a place to stay. That is about a fortnight. Boygenius had a break in their own tour for this period of time, as Phoebe was touring with Taylor, so there would have been time for them to hang out together. We also know that "the rest" by boygenius was recorded in May of 2023, i.e. while Phoebe was touring with Taylor, so Julien and Lucy would have needed to be around for some of it. https://preview.redd.it/u0upzqcprd1d1.jpg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=beadbde3b7bf0f882ee487eec3f0b680e837b76b "Run into you sometimes, ask about the weatheNow you're in my backyard, turned into good neighbors/Your wife waters flowers, I wanna kill her" So Matty and Taylor are not even close to being neighbours, but Julien and Taylor live in the same town. Also, the wife line makes Taylor sound as if she is jealous, despite having been very clear in Lavender Haze that she doesn't want to be seen as just a wife - maybe it is less about the marriage, and more about being in an openly gay relationship? "My husband is cheating, I wanna kill him" - Very clearly a parallel back to the wife line, and could be about being in a relationship with a male beard who clearly isn't interested in you, hence the 'cheating'. "I love you, it is ruining my life" - What if this isn't about pining for someone, what if it is about watching your closeted self crumble, wishing that you could be open so that you could be together? Julien has been vocal about why she feels it is important to be openly queer, if they were dating, that was definitely going to be a major issue. The experiment/asylum vibes would also make more sense if it is a reference to internalized (and external) homophobia - drawing references to how homosexuality has been medicalised and deemed a mental illness throughout history. What about "the rest"? Okay, since I mentioned it, here are the two songs Julien wrote for "the rest". https://preview.redd.it/6iwgrnxgsd1d1.jpg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a6bd721affd60379b598ea665acd48b2f58d670f https://preview.redd.it/6igdmkxgsd1d1.jpg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5d809ac31a7f4a0d364e625991a127894786fc61 Notable appearances: Alien abduction (like down bad?), failed experiment (like fortnight?), trailing behind a comet (like dating a global superstar?) https://preview.redd.it/q8nayemlsd1d1.jpg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=872c6bc99a67f0771b16bf561daa2dbbab9ea432 https://preview.redd.it/cnjhg0y5xd1d1.jpg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=45b50de34a6f7439a780e926dc54ff0139146f3c https://preview.redd.it/b2edj0y5xd1d1.jpg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8e830b3782cd22b83f650fbba0e93df1234a1b28 Notable appearances: Stars and rain appareance (we'll get back to this), "it's out of your hands but have a safe flight" (being with someone who can't really be in control of their own life, who is constantly busy?), "all noise, fake smile, decoys" (beards? being miserable when nobody knows?) Important to note also that this was written towards the end of the recording of the EP, so if they dated, likely towards the end of the relationship, and it seems like it spells put some things that could have been frustrations. Song references - Tortured Poets Department Okay, so we have adressed the tattooed golden retriever-line, but let's talk about the typewriter line. Yes, Matty Healy has claimed to enjoy writing on vintage typewriters, but he has also been very clear he doesn't travel with them. Would he have really brought the typewriter to the US only to leave it at Taylor's apartment? It makes no sense, so I would think this is a red herring, specifically put in there because it takes the heat off of Taylor in a song where she makes some pretty clear references to someone else. Julien is however nearby enough that the line could have originally been about leaving something else, and that wouldn't really be odd. (For example, we know that Julien writes by hand a lot - try substuting "notepad" for typewriter in the first line, and the second typewriter for "handwriting", and especially the first line runs a lot smoother) There have been clips of Matty saying he doesn't like poetry, however he has written poetry in the past. He does however seem to separate poetry a lot from his actual songwriting, while Julien seems to consider the two intertwined: (https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&opi=89978449&url=https://m.youtube.com/watch%3Fv%3D7hbr1mqHj88&ved=2ahUKEwiBpquPy5mGAxUhCBAIHUCJAQ0QtwJ6BAhOEAE&usg=AOvVaw1wYqjHeiHq8rmlcnGgwbEk) The Chelsea hotel reference is one that many seem to link to Phoebe's song Chelsea, but there is a boygenius song that references Leonard Cohen and "not writing horny poetry" that someone in the trio wrote. We know it wasn't Phoebe, as the song is about her and a drive they took. If Julien wrote the song, which seems likely, that would explain the reference to Cohen. Julien smokes, just like Matty. Unlike Matty, Julien has smaller hands than Taylor, so she could fit her middle finger ring onto her ring finger (it is also an inherently lesbian move, not the move of Matty Healy, known comittment phobe). https://preview.redd.it/8zawhjassd1d1.jpg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=32aab28dbcdc58db60aa04081b7b2031b8182963 The Jack and Lucy line shows why Matty was such a welcome beard. He gives plausible deniability here, even though Lucy has been openly antsgonistic towards Matty and does not seem to like him. She does, however, like Julien. Julien has also been suicidal before, and written songs about it herself “who put me in / your way to find? / what right had you / not to let me die" and had her friends write songs about it as well (see Lucy Dacus Please Stay). It also makes sense that Julien was more brittle at the time, if she had broken up from Mariah a few months earlier. Matty, on the other hand, has been quoted really wanting to live, and considering how nonchalant/aloof he has been about the potential relationship with Taylor, he doesn't seem distressed enough to be the person in the song: https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/3188904-i-think-about-dying-but-i-dont-want-to-die Julien Baker, however, as you saw from the Grammys but also from crying during their tour in 2023 (for example - this is from august 2023, crying during cool about it which is arguably such a gay song, about a relationship where you pretend everything is fine but it isn't: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGeXBshbt/) could be that person. Song references - Down Bad https://preview.redd.it/ps2twknbvd1d1.jpg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d698f54240456d5d5bae5b9406e88a3727dce996 I don't think I need to talk about how this song is gay (and how interesting the alien/experiement references are when put in relation to Julien's song ) so I just want to say - we know from this song that Taylor was left, she didn't leave the person she is writing about. For Matty, she would have been the one leaving because of all the noise - but as we know, he is a beard. Julien has specifically talked about how she leaves people before they leave her, and disappear so that she won't be a burden for them. I also think the lyrics to this song gives some more clues as to why someone would leave - "I'll build you a fort on some planet/where they can all understand it/how dare you think it is romantic/leaving me safe and stranded". This is alluding to someone leaving Taylor for her own good, specifically because "they don't all understand it". If you were dating someone so deep in the closet, that is genuinely fearful that their whole life might be ruined it the world finds out about you?? I've been there, and boy do I relate to I relate to the absolute heartbreak of having to leave someone because you can't stand being a secret that might eff up their life. Very gay. Song references -But daddy I love him The christian references? "If all you want is grey from me, then it is just white noise and it is my choice"? Nothing more to add here, except that Julien has specifically strugfled with christianity and homosexuality, and has written and talked about her experiences with that a lot (https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.cbc.ca/amp/1.5062456) Song references - Fresh out the slammer Also very gay, and about breaking free from a jail cell that she has referenced many times before. Just want to add a few things here - Matty Healy has a house in Hackney. He doesn't have a porch. You know who does? Julien Baker (momo_slider is Julien's ex-partner) https://preview.redd.it/dy9l8qvbtd1d1.jpg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=56066e0340fbbf956f393157110383199f7c0fa4 Song references - The black dog Notably, Taylor doesn't call The Black Dog a pub, she says a bar. This is important, why? Bc I think it is a bar is Massachusetts, called the Black dog tavern. Boygenius played in Boston on the 18th of June and then drove to Pennsylvania for their next concert. The black dog tavern is in that direction, and it is in a quite remote location near an inn where the band could have stayed with much greater privacy than in central Boston before driving to Pennsylvania. I think The Starting Line is a red herring, it is interesting that Matty referenced them in May 2023 for the first time, especially considering that his taste in music is acoustic/synthpop/etc, whilst Julien is specifically into punk and metal. https://preview.redd.it/2bwem1pjtd1d1.jpg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a9117f53a7d5cd389574a2dd42e85fc7db34a768 https://preview.redd.it/bmk962pjtd1d1.jpg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3737193da97a3e1d7ffcdde5b4725a2f478c2f1c (the last screenshot is from an article of Julien talking about her favorite bands) Also interesting is the rain mention here (see, I said I'd get back to it) and the rainstorm mentioned in Julien's song from the rest. The much younger girl could also be a reference to the actual age difference between Julien and Taylor. Empty voices Julien hasn't put out any music after 'the rest' apart from the new Orphan Black series theme song and a song called Empty Voices that she co-wrote. Apparently she offered to write on it after hearing it was about voice of the public and voices over social media. Here is the text. https://preview.redd.it/0l41r2vbud1d1.jpg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e37e4acd2d9c6479198d668f00f0e430fdb2e553 "this block, this autonomy dread" - to me this reads as someone in a relationship with a person that prioritizes the opinion of others above the relationship. "maybe don't just go pulling this apart/before you brace yourself for a fall" could be referencing a fall from grace, the result of doing exactly what happens in TTPD, sort of an autopsy of the relationship, and someone finding out. It is especially interesting because Julien's last relationship before this (that we know of) was with a person who was very openly gay. In conclusion I could keep going, but I think I have said enough. To me, this album has such overtly queer undertones, the way she talks about being caged and breaking free into a new form of chaos, the pleading temporary insanity - it reads as someone conflicted about themselves and their identity. People have been baffled that she has placed such a huge impact on such a short relationship, but if the very breaking point of the relationship was her choice to prioritize her career over her true self, that would explain not only the need to write about it but also many of the lyrics that otherwise seem puzzling or inconsequential. It explains, next to midnight where she is clearly bored of and criticzing the life she has created, why she has lived her entire life like this and is now questioning her choices - the people she have been connected to before have mostly been people that have seemed to make the same choices as her. This would have been one of the first times that was really truly questioned, where her counterpart was someone who had chosen a very different life. It explains the TTPD part of the eras tour - but daddy I love him for explaining the cultural context she is in, so high school to make fun of and portray this image she has created of herself (v much a call back to the 'are you ready to go back to high school with me' part during fearless), who's afraid of little old me as a way to call out her audience and the comphet that keeps her caged, down bad to explain her regrets and frustration with herself, fortnight setting the scene for what their relationship was to her and to her realizations, the smallest man who ever lived calling out scott borchetta for what he did to her life and for the master's heist, and then reaffirming her choice as the one she 'has to' make in ICDWABH. It is a tragedy, a story of hunkering down and going forward even though everything in you tells you stop stop, to just be honest, to make place for the love of your life. Nothing makes more sense to me, honestly. If we assume that Taylor truly wants her relationships hidden, she doesn't want to involve the public, it isn't strange that we don't have more pictures of them interacting or of their relationship. The clues, to me, would be enough. So - I fully fell down a rabbit hole yesterday. This might all just be clowning, let me know if I too need to plead some temporary insanity - I might have been hit so hard by that 1989 mashup yesterday that my head isn't on straight (was it ever?). EDIT: Another thing of note - Julien has been discussing Florida as kind of the normative dream world/escape in the past, check out Satanist by boygenius (that she wrote). EDIT 2: So I was right about that starting line thing... Apparently she covered -specifically- the best of me in 2014 (https://www.reddit.com/JulienBakecomments/1cdjyne/julien\_baker\_lostrare\_media\_iceberg/) |
2024.05.19 15:29 RyanNoSleep I am the last of the Cocoanut Grove Fire (My First Post)
I was a busboy at the Cocoanut Grove. That Saturday, the place was a heaving mass of humanity. Soldiers on leave, couples on dates, socialites, and gangsters—the club was their playground, and I was just an invisible part of the scenery. The air was a haze of smoke and alcohol, thick enough to choke on.
It was around 10:15 PM when I first saw him. A man in a dark, heavy coat, standing by the service door near the kitchen. Odd attire for such a warm, crowded club, but what really caught my eye was his face. His eyes were black pits, empty yet somehow full of a cold, malevolent hunger. His smile was a razor-thin line, cutting through his face like a wound. He gestured for me to come closer, but before I could move, he slipped into the kitchen.
Seconds later, the lights flickered, and fire erupted in the Melody Lounge. The flames didn’t spread—they leapt, as if alive, cutting off exits with a terrifying, unnatural precision. Panic ignited, and the crowd became a stampede. I tried to guide people to safety, but the fire seemed to anticipate our every move.
As I fought my way toward the kitchen, hoping for another way out, I witnessed horrors that will forever be etched into my memory.
The first was a young woman in a red dress. She had been dancing with her boyfriend moments before the fire broke out. When the flames began to spread, she tried to run, but the crowd was too thick. She stumbled and fell right in front of me. In the chaos, no one stopped to help her. The flames reached her, and her screams pierced through the cacophony. Her dress ignited, the fabric melting into her skin. I watched in horror as her flesh bubbled and peeled away, revealing raw, charred muscle beneath. Her eyes locked onto mine, pleading for help, before the fire consumed her completely. I couldn’t do anything but keep moving, the image of her agony seared into my mind.
Further ahead, near the bar, a middle-aged man, a regular at the club, was pounding on a locked door that led to the staff area. His hands were bloody, and his face was contorted in sheer panic. The smoke was thickening, making it hard to breathe. I saw him drop to his knees, clawing at his throat as he began to choke. His skin turned a sickly blue as he suffocated. The fire found him next, wrapping around his legs and creeping up his body. His screams were a mix of terror and pain as the flames cooked him alive, turning him into a grotesque statue of blackened bone and seared flesh. I wanted to help, but the fire was relentless, and I had to keep moving.
Near the back exit, which had been illegally locked to prevent people from sneaking in without paying, I saw a young couple—newlyweds celebrating their honeymoon. The husband was trying to shield his wife with his body as they pounded on the unyielding door. The fire closed in, and I heard their desperate cries for help. The flames licked at their legs, their screams merging into a single, horrifying wail. The husband’s back blistered and burst, his skin sloughing off in sheets. The wife’s hair ignited, and she clawed at her scalp in a futile attempt to extinguish the flames. They held each other as they burned, their bodies fusing together in a grotesque, charred embrace. I was frozen in place, unable to look away, until a surge of heat pushed me to keep moving.
I fought through the flames, dodging falling debris and stumbling over lifeless bodies. The heat was unbearable, the air thick with smoke and the stench of burning flesh. Finally, I found a side door and burst into the alley, gulping in the cool night air. As I looked back, the building was fully engulfed, the screams of the trapped mingling with an unholy laughter that echoed in my ears long after.
The official reports blamed faulty wiring and overcrowding, but I know better. The man in the dark coat—he wasn’t human. He was something ancient, something that revels in chaos and feeds on fear. Since that night, I’ve been plagued by dark dreams and even darker realities. Doors in my house creak open on their own, whispers drift through the night, and I see shadows moving just beyond my vision.
Every anniversary, the nightmares get worse, and I feel his presence more acutely. It’s as if the fire forged a bond between us, a bond I can’t break. I’ve tried to tell my story, but no one believes me. They think I’m just a traumatized survivor, driven mad by the horrors I witnessed.
But I know the truth. And now, so do you.
If you’re reading this, I’m begging, heed my warning. On the anniversary of the Cocoanut Grove fire, stay away from dark, crowded places. If you see a man in a dark coat with eyes like voids, don’t approach him. Run, and don’t look back.
Because once he marks you, there’s no escape. The flames will find you, and Hell will claim its due.
Tonight, as I write this, I can feel the heat building, the shadows lengthening. He’s close. I can hear his whisper just beyond the door. I don’t know if I’ll survive another anniversary, but if I don’t, remember my story.
Remember that some fires are more than just flames. They are gateways, and some doors should never be opened.
submitted by RyanNoSleep to shortscarystories [link] [comments]
It was around 10:15 PM when I first saw him. A man in a dark, heavy coat, standing by the service door near the kitchen. Odd attire for such a warm, crowded club, but what really caught my eye was his face. His eyes were black pits, empty yet somehow full of a cold, malevolent hunger. His smile was a razor-thin line, cutting through his face like a wound. He gestured for me to come closer, but before I could move, he slipped into the kitchen.
Seconds later, the lights flickered, and fire erupted in the Melody Lounge. The flames didn’t spread—they leapt, as if alive, cutting off exits with a terrifying, unnatural precision. Panic ignited, and the crowd became a stampede. I tried to guide people to safety, but the fire seemed to anticipate our every move.
As I fought my way toward the kitchen, hoping for another way out, I witnessed horrors that will forever be etched into my memory.
The first was a young woman in a red dress. She had been dancing with her boyfriend moments before the fire broke out. When the flames began to spread, she tried to run, but the crowd was too thick. She stumbled and fell right in front of me. In the chaos, no one stopped to help her. The flames reached her, and her screams pierced through the cacophony. Her dress ignited, the fabric melting into her skin. I watched in horror as her flesh bubbled and peeled away, revealing raw, charred muscle beneath. Her eyes locked onto mine, pleading for help, before the fire consumed her completely. I couldn’t do anything but keep moving, the image of her agony seared into my mind.
Further ahead, near the bar, a middle-aged man, a regular at the club, was pounding on a locked door that led to the staff area. His hands were bloody, and his face was contorted in sheer panic. The smoke was thickening, making it hard to breathe. I saw him drop to his knees, clawing at his throat as he began to choke. His skin turned a sickly blue as he suffocated. The fire found him next, wrapping around his legs and creeping up his body. His screams were a mix of terror and pain as the flames cooked him alive, turning him into a grotesque statue of blackened bone and seared flesh. I wanted to help, but the fire was relentless, and I had to keep moving.
Near the back exit, which had been illegally locked to prevent people from sneaking in without paying, I saw a young couple—newlyweds celebrating their honeymoon. The husband was trying to shield his wife with his body as they pounded on the unyielding door. The fire closed in, and I heard their desperate cries for help. The flames licked at their legs, their screams merging into a single, horrifying wail. The husband’s back blistered and burst, his skin sloughing off in sheets. The wife’s hair ignited, and she clawed at her scalp in a futile attempt to extinguish the flames. They held each other as they burned, their bodies fusing together in a grotesque, charred embrace. I was frozen in place, unable to look away, until a surge of heat pushed me to keep moving.
I fought through the flames, dodging falling debris and stumbling over lifeless bodies. The heat was unbearable, the air thick with smoke and the stench of burning flesh. Finally, I found a side door and burst into the alley, gulping in the cool night air. As I looked back, the building was fully engulfed, the screams of the trapped mingling with an unholy laughter that echoed in my ears long after.
The official reports blamed faulty wiring and overcrowding, but I know better. The man in the dark coat—he wasn’t human. He was something ancient, something that revels in chaos and feeds on fear. Since that night, I’ve been plagued by dark dreams and even darker realities. Doors in my house creak open on their own, whispers drift through the night, and I see shadows moving just beyond my vision.
Every anniversary, the nightmares get worse, and I feel his presence more acutely. It’s as if the fire forged a bond between us, a bond I can’t break. I’ve tried to tell my story, but no one believes me. They think I’m just a traumatized survivor, driven mad by the horrors I witnessed.
But I know the truth. And now, so do you.
If you’re reading this, I’m begging, heed my warning. On the anniversary of the Cocoanut Grove fire, stay away from dark, crowded places. If you see a man in a dark coat with eyes like voids, don’t approach him. Run, and don’t look back.
Because once he marks you, there’s no escape. The flames will find you, and Hell will claim its due.
Tonight, as I write this, I can feel the heat building, the shadows lengthening. He’s close. I can hear his whisper just beyond the door. I don’t know if I’ll survive another anniversary, but if I don’t, remember my story.
Remember that some fires are more than just flames. They are gateways, and some doors should never be opened.
2024.05.19 15:25 TheGangstaGandalf Discussion of the Diamond Handbook (Part 1)
Hey everyone, this will be my first attempt at a serious post on this sub. I’m not exactly practiced in articulating my thoughts (I’m more of a fiction writer) so please bear bull with any mistakes and please correct me if I’m wrong. The last thing I want to do is spread misinformation, I’m not an expert (or a financial advisor) on any of this. I'm here to learn, not to teach.
This post will be the first in a series of me reading through the entire Diamond Handbook (2nd) and just commentating on points I find interesting or discussion worthy. I will be asking questions as well as giving my own personal thoughts based on my understanding of the events that have transpired. I became an ape right after the sneeze, and followed a lot of the discussions back then, but have been zen for a while so I haven't fully kept up with a lot of the new developments.
I haven't actually sat down and read DD in a long time, so I decided to give myself a refresher and actually look at the Diamond Handbook (2nd) for the first time. I had read a lot of these posts as they had come out, so I had never felt the need to look at the full PDF before. For the apes that haven’t read it either, I recommend giving it a read. You can find the full DD library in the pinned post of this sub, and the Diamond Handbook is the first one there.
As I have been reading it, I’ve quickly realized that some of the stuff is a little outdated. That can’t really be helped since so much DD has been done between then and now, but this brings me to the two reasons for this post. The Diamond Handbook is likely the first piece of DD a new ape will be recommended; I want to spark discussion to clear up some things that are misguided or outdated in this handbook. The second reason is more of a personal challenge. Whenever someone denies the legitimacy of the DD, an ape usually responds by saying something like “Well, read the DD and prove it wrong”. The average MOASS denier won’t do this though, in my experience they just think it’s ridiculous on a conceptual level, and won’t take the time to actually look through all the DD available and construct a proper debate. I can’t really blame them for this though, spending so much time on something you have no interest in doesn’t sound like a fun time.
But I have a lot of interest in this, and I am an aspiring author who writes 400K word fanfictions for fun. I’ve got the time and the writing willpower. I am very big into trying to understand how a reader will interpret a piece of my writing, so I’ll be looking through that lens and will be writing this with the assumption that you have already read the Diamond Handbook (2nd). Please take the time to respond/correct what I say here, I want to learn.
With all that out of the way, let’s get started.
The Mother of All Short Squeezes (MOASS) Thesis, Published on May 26, 2021, by u(slash)HCMF_MACEFACE
Before we even get into the meat of this section I already see a bit of an issue. A lot of the language implies that MOASS is imminent, take this section for example:
Just because the sneeze happened in a week doesn’t mean MOASS will, in theory it should be a very long event as both the shorts and longs have a test of wills to see who caves first. However, the sneeze was the ‘beginning’ because it was exposed a lot of the fuckery that is going on in the market right now, I think that is the message that should be taken from this section.
The two big concepts I see missing are Options and Wash Sales/Stop-Losses.
Options are interesting because they create a different type of buying/selling pressure compared to just buying/selling stocks regularly. There are concepts like gamma ramps and stuff that can be relevant when discussing catalysts for price movement. However, options are pretty scary for most investors, I’ve only ever bought one, and forgot about it so it auto-exercised for me (lol), so it’s not a concept I would call essential. I just think it’s better to be educated than not.
The much more egregious omission is that of Wash Sales and Stop-Losses. Wash Sales are extremely dangerous to new investors who still make decisions based on emotions and are not used to the volatility that comes with GME.
If you are unfamiliar, a Wash Sale is when a person sells a stock at a loss, then buys the stock again within a short period of time. As an example, let’s say you bought a stock at $50, then the stock goes down to $40.00 and you no longer feel comfortable with your investment. You sell the stock at a loss. You lost $10.00 on this transaction, but it’s not all bad. When you go to do your taxes, you can report this $10.00 loss to the IRS. This is good because if you make a $10.00 profit off another trade, you now don’t have to take taxes out of that profit, since the IRS will see this as you breaking even in the grand scheme of your portfolio. You didn’t actually make any money, so they aren’t going to tax you for it.
A Wash Sale is triggered when you buy back the stock you sold in a short period of time, this can even apply if you buy a stock in the same sector. So if you buy a stock at $50.00, sell it at $40.00 then buy it again. That $10.00 loss you took can no longer be reported to the IRS as an actual loss. So when you make $10.00 on some other trade, the IRS won’t see you as breaking even, they will tax you on that $10.00.
For a stock as volatile as GME this can be very dangerous, I know people who brought in the peak, then as the price went back down they triggered a Stop-Loss (auto-sale you can program to trigger when a price falls), only to then buy back in when the stock dropped even lower, creating a wash sale that fucked their taxes.
We say “Buy and HODL” a lot, but I think the ‘why’ of it has been lost in the meme. I personally buy and HODL because averaging down is a lot better for me than accidently triggering a Wash Sale. I fucking hate the IRS and don’t want any of that smoke.
This next part I’m a little shaky on, I’m probably getting some things wrong here:
Ok, well how are they going to get margin called? The problem I see is that these Short Hedge Funds (SHF) are making a lot of money by selling naked shorts. It’s really hard to get margin called when they are literally printing money, and since they don’t have to report these their books just look to be filled with an infinite amount of cash.
So, there are a couple solutions to this:
1, Government regulation. If the SEC puts a stop to naked shorting, these SHF can’t print money anymore. Eventually the interest from their positions will eat them alive, and they will get margin called. Unfortunately, MOASS has the potential to destroy the economy like in 2008, so they probably aren’t too keen on just doing this without creating some kind of safety net. So I can’t really count on them to help, because the government has a vested interest in keeping MOASS from happening. It’s just not something I believe will be the catalyst. Although they might just do it on purpose given the right reason, like pinning the economic collapse on a scapegoat, or by GameStop forcing their hand by exposing the fraud somehow. I’ve seen a lot of apes hoping for one of these reasons to come to pass, but for me, I don’t see enough motivation from the participating parties.
2, A price run-up. If the price of the stock can unbalance the books of the SHF enough then they could also get margin called. I’m not counting on this either, since the price is manipulated by the process of naked shorting. Sure, they are digging a bigger grave when they suppress the price like this, but it can also help smaller SHFs with exiting their positions with OTC stuff. Over-The-Counter trades are trades made off the lit exchanges, historically it was intended to kind of simulate a transaction between two individuals, like buying a video game from a buddy off the books, no taxes, no regulation. Unfortunately, this is abused by institutions and can’t even be used by individuals, making dark pools of trades full of fraud and undermines the free market. Smaller SHFs that are more at risk of getting Margin Called due to their lack of collateral, can make OTC trades with the big naked-shorting market makers to ‘close’ their positions using fake shares. Of course, this only passes the buck so to speak, but it’s a viable strategy for them since the big SHFs that take on these ‘bucks’ are less likely to get margin called. A lot of historic short squeezes happen because a small SHF gets margin called, then drives the price up and causes a bigger SHF to get called, and so on until they’re all in the grave. This is why I don’t really give a shit if the price goes up to $80 in a week, it’s not enough, the buck has been passed. (To be clear, I don’t have proof that this is the reason for the uptick in OTC transactions, it’s just a theory. If a smarter ape than I can get on this that would be great.) But, even if a price run-up itself doesn’t cause MOASS, it may give motivation for the true trigger:
3, Interest Rates. Here is the big one that I look at, that I believe will be the true cause of MOASS. Now please, correct me if I’m wrong again, I am just an ape who dropped out of college. So, from what I understand a Short institution has to pay a certain amount of interest to the people they borrow the stocks from. This is the cost of borrowing and is how these Lenders make money. For a long time, the interest rate was at like 1%, this means that selling one naked short could cover the cost of the interest 100 times over. However, let’s say that the interest rate becomes 110%, sounds crazy, but this would mean that borrowing the share would cost more than the share. This would destroy the balances of the SHFs and ensure they get margin called. Why would this ever happen though? Because these lenders want to make money. These lenders are the real winners of MOASS, and they aren’t talked about enough in my opinion. Lenders can’t sell the shares they’ve lent out, their income is in the interest rates, there has to be a balance here between it being more profitable to lend the shares or to sell them. If Lenders start to think that lending their shares aren’t making them more money than the alternative, they will raise interest rates to make these profits until SHFs can’t pay them, then the SHFs have to return the shares, causing MOASS with the massive buyback, then lenders can just sell the shares on the way down. Lenders have a monetary business interest in causing MOASS, so they are the most likely cause of it in my opinion.
FAQ, Published April 12, 2021, by u(slash)BYE_TRIANGLE
Now, on the flip side, I know people on the old sub to buy and sell with these fluctuations, they did it during the sneeze and I’ve seen comments claiming to do it last week. I think this is why Roaring Kitty really had to speak to congress about this, because a legitimate-seeming argument could be made that retail was buying and selling at high volumes. The loss and gain porn on the old sub could be presented as evidence. Here though, apes hold, we glaze purple doughnuts.
So when MOASS does happen, the massive price increase will be only due to buying pressure from SHFs, so they are the only ones that can take the blame for what happens next.
Keep in mind that even though ‘buying pressure’ moves the price up, someone has to be willing to sell in order for someone to buy. So as the price creeps up from $100 to $1000 to $100000 to $8675309 someone will be selling on the way up to get there.
However, if you go into the comments of these posts, there are apes investigating the profile history to determine if posters are bots, regardless of the pushed narrative. If you look past the upvote counter, apes are very skeptical of any post that isn’t based in fact or harmless memes. The comments rule the post, and I have to say I’ve very proud of this sub for staying vigilant in the wake of Reddit restricting moderation tools.
I don’t really like the language being used here, stuff like ‘clearly believes’ ‘seen as incredibly bullish’ are all pretty emotive and doesn’t actually explain why these are positive growth signs for the company, they are just saying it is ‘bullish’, the average new investor isn’t even going to know what that really means. Even though GME is extremely manipulated, causing Technical Analysis to become increasingly difficult to depend on, the investment is still rooted in fundamentals of deep value.
-Gamma Squeeze
-Gamestop’s Q1 Earnings Call
-Some speculate Gary Gensler (Newly appointed head of the SEC), may make some move that sets things in motion
-DTCC rule changes taking effect
-Appointment of a new CEO”
Yeah… this feels bad man. I’ve talked about this already, but we can rapid fire down this list.
The stock split didn’t work out, since those in charge of distributing the splits did it fraudulently. Gamma Squeeze is the kind of thing that could trigger a smaller hedge fund to get margin called and cause a domino effect, but I’ve shared my theory of the OTC action. Earnings are nice, but public sentiment has always been more tied to the media manipulation than actual facts. Fucking Gary.
On the subject of bringing in new talent, I do feel like a big move will happen soon. We’ve already seen a lot of job offerings from the Corporate side of GameStop so this could be the next phase of the plan. I really think that RC has spent these last few years taking precautions to make sure the company can’t go bankrupt, the last thing he wants is to turn out like Toys-R-Us. A lot of downsizing happened, so now he can start thinking about upsizing again.
I’m not necessarily saying that these things can’t trigger the squeeze, but I am saying that depending on something to start it is just inviting disappointment. I think the ‘no dates’ rule has been sorely forgotten lately with all the hype and speculation around Roaring Kitty’s tweets and stuff. I am a zen ape, it happens when it happens.
I glaze those purple doughnuts, yum.
Citadel Has No Clothes, Published March 14, 2021, by u(slash)ATOBITT
Ohhhh, this one is special to me, I read it when it first came out, first time I was there on release night. Let’s see how it hodls up.
In order to calculate that we gotta do one of those double equation variable bullshit things we all hated in school, I forgot what they were called but I remember how to do them.
So, we have a few variables:
C = Citadel’s Portfolio = $384,926,232,238
S = Shorted Shares = 696,000,000
I = Intrest = 0.30
X = Price Per Share
Y = Citadel’s new portfolio amount after paying interest
So, X and Y are undetermined, but we have two equations to work with
C – I(X*S) = Y
This one calculates how much money is going to be in citadels new portfolio after paying interest, we calculate the interest by multiplying the cost per share, by the amount of shorted shares, and multiplying that by the interest rate, then subtracting it from their total portfolio.
Y * 1.25 = X * S
This one calculates the total amount those shorted shares have to be in order for Citadel to get margin called, by multiplying their new portfolio by 5/4 and calculating the total cost of the shares.
X * S has a direct value; we can plug the left side of the second equation into the first to get
C – I(Y*1.25) = Y
Now we just gotta isolate Y on one side of the equation.
C = Y + 0.3(Y*1.25)
C = 1.3Y * 0.375
C= 0.4875Y
C * 0.4875 = Y
Y = $187,651,538,216.03
Now we gotta find X, we can just plug in the other stuff.
(Y* 1.25)/ 696,000,000 = X
X = $337.02 per share for shitadel to get margin called on 30% interest.
Holy shit, now that’s what I call reasonable. See how much interest can completely fuck a portfolio? They lost almost half of their portfolio value to a 30% interest to this. This is why the whole market will bleed red on the run up to MOASS, they will have to sell half of their portfolio just to pay the interest.
Citadel is probably not a good example of this, since they print the naked shorts themselves... so they would be paying interest to... themselves... when they borrow them? Citadel is so fucked up, I don't have enough wrinkles for this.
But hey, I think the concept of what I said is fine. High interest rates can reduce collateral and cause margin calls. Hey, just out of curiosity, how much is the borrowing interest rate looking now?
16.5%
SHF are fucked.
Anyway, I’m writing this on a Wordpad document so I’m not sure if I’ve come up on the character limit, but I think I’m getting close so I’ll end this part here. Please let me know what I’ve got wrong or any insights you want to share, I’ll be sure to talk about any interesting comments when I do a part 2!
TLDR: I am reviewing the Diamond Handbook (2nd) and seeing what has changed in the three years since it’s been compiled. I have a bias in thinking that high borrowing interest rates are what will cause MOASS, and that is shown here. This is not meant to be an impartial analysis, just my thoughts. Not financial advice.
submitted by TheGangstaGandalf to Superstonk [link] [comments]
This post will be the first in a series of me reading through the entire Diamond Handbook (2nd) and just commentating on points I find interesting or discussion worthy. I will be asking questions as well as giving my own personal thoughts based on my understanding of the events that have transpired. I became an ape right after the sneeze, and followed a lot of the discussions back then, but have been zen for a while so I haven't fully kept up with a lot of the new developments.
I haven't actually sat down and read DD in a long time, so I decided to give myself a refresher and actually look at the Diamond Handbook (2nd) for the first time. I had read a lot of these posts as they had come out, so I had never felt the need to look at the full PDF before. For the apes that haven’t read it either, I recommend giving it a read. You can find the full DD library in the pinned post of this sub, and the Diamond Handbook is the first one there.
As I have been reading it, I’ve quickly realized that some of the stuff is a little outdated. That can’t really be helped since so much DD has been done between then and now, but this brings me to the two reasons for this post. The Diamond Handbook is likely the first piece of DD a new ape will be recommended; I want to spark discussion to clear up some things that are misguided or outdated in this handbook. The second reason is more of a personal challenge. Whenever someone denies the legitimacy of the DD, an ape usually responds by saying something like “Well, read the DD and prove it wrong”. The average MOASS denier won’t do this though, in my experience they just think it’s ridiculous on a conceptual level, and won’t take the time to actually look through all the DD available and construct a proper debate. I can’t really blame them for this though, spending so much time on something you have no interest in doesn’t sound like a fun time.
But I have a lot of interest in this, and I am an aspiring author who writes 400K word fanfictions for fun. I’ve got the time and the writing willpower. I am very big into trying to understand how a reader will interpret a piece of my writing, so I’ll be looking through that lens and will be writing this with the assumption that you have already read the Diamond Handbook (2nd). Please take the time to respond/correct what I say here, I want to learn.
With all that out of the way, let’s get started.
The Mother of All Short Squeezes (MOASS) Thesis, Published on May 26, 2021, by u(slash)HCMF_MACEFACE
Before we even get into the meat of this section I already see a bit of an issue. A lot of the language implies that MOASS is imminent, take this section for example:
*“If you don't believe me, just look at the chart of GME which our DD (Due Diligence/research/analysis) has been forecasting for a while now. The below pattern has only preceded massive spikes in price, but this time, those on the other side of the trade are going to have a much harder time suppressing the price like they did in January and March. Thanks to the activity on 5/25, we have entered the end-game. The MOASS is beginning.”*I think most new apes will look at this, then look at the date of posting (three years ago), and think this is delusional thinking. They will say that MOASS did not ‘begin’ because it hasn’t happened yet. This would be pretty short sighted though, GME has always been a Deep Value investment, long positions are called long for a reason. ‘Buy and HODL’ is such a repeated mantra because that is the investment strategy most apes employ. Like most investments, it takes a long time to realize gains. Your retirement account will be growing for 40+ years before you cash that thing out, GME is my retirement plan so I don’t expect it to be much different.
Just because the sneeze happened in a week doesn’t mean MOASS will, in theory it should be a very long event as both the shorts and longs have a test of wills to see who caves first. However, the sneeze was the ‘beginning’ because it was exposed a lot of the fuckery that is going on in the market right now, I think that is the message that should be taken from this section.
*“These terms are key to understanding the theory and speculated value of a GME investment. Hyperlinks to Investopedia, "the world's leading source of financial content on the web", have been included for most market terms and concepts and it is recommended to check them out if they are not clear. We will be breaking down some of the more complex terms and concepts within the post and framing them within the context of GME.”*After the introduction, this post does a great job of explaining all the concepts of the stock market that are relevant to the MOASS thesis. However, I do wish it mentioned some other stock terms for the sake of new investors. Since none of the DD is supposed to be financial advice, I can’t really blame them for these omissions, but at the beginning the OP does say they wanted the post to be good for newer investors, so I think some more pointing in the right direction should’ve been provided. I do appreciate the link to Investopedia, but this DD is already a novel, and the average reader might forget about that link by the time they finish it. So an additional link should’ve been provided at the end.
The two big concepts I see missing are Options and Wash Sales/Stop-Losses.
Options are interesting because they create a different type of buying/selling pressure compared to just buying/selling stocks regularly. There are concepts like gamma ramps and stuff that can be relevant when discussing catalysts for price movement. However, options are pretty scary for most investors, I’ve only ever bought one, and forgot about it so it auto-exercised for me (lol), so it’s not a concept I would call essential. I just think it’s better to be educated than not.
The much more egregious omission is that of Wash Sales and Stop-Losses. Wash Sales are extremely dangerous to new investors who still make decisions based on emotions and are not used to the volatility that comes with GME.
If you are unfamiliar, a Wash Sale is when a person sells a stock at a loss, then buys the stock again within a short period of time. As an example, let’s say you bought a stock at $50, then the stock goes down to $40.00 and you no longer feel comfortable with your investment. You sell the stock at a loss. You lost $10.00 on this transaction, but it’s not all bad. When you go to do your taxes, you can report this $10.00 loss to the IRS. This is good because if you make a $10.00 profit off another trade, you now don’t have to take taxes out of that profit, since the IRS will see this as you breaking even in the grand scheme of your portfolio. You didn’t actually make any money, so they aren’t going to tax you for it.
A Wash Sale is triggered when you buy back the stock you sold in a short period of time, this can even apply if you buy a stock in the same sector. So if you buy a stock at $50.00, sell it at $40.00 then buy it again. That $10.00 loss you took can no longer be reported to the IRS as an actual loss. So when you make $10.00 on some other trade, the IRS won’t see you as breaking even, they will tax you on that $10.00.
For a stock as volatile as GME this can be very dangerous, I know people who brought in the peak, then as the price went back down they triggered a Stop-Loss (auto-sale you can program to trigger when a price falls), only to then buy back in when the stock dropped even lower, creating a wash sale that fucked their taxes.
We say “Buy and HODL” a lot, but I think the ‘why’ of it has been lost in the meme. I personally buy and HODL because averaging down is a lot better for me than accidently triggering a Wash Sale. I fucking hate the IRS and don’t want any of that smoke.
*“SPOILER: GME and \[Popcorn\] have tons of FTDs reported.”*I just kinda don’t like the mention of the Popcorn stock here, it has never been a deep value investment. If you are unfamiliar with the Deep Value investment strategy, please take a look at the old Roaring Kitty livestreams. In summary, Deep Value investing is defined by looking for stocks that are extremely undervalued and unpopular due to no fault of the company. These external factors that are making the stock undervalued can be anything, shorting, COVID, stuff like that. But what makes it a Deep Value investment is always strong management within the company. If the company is not mismanaged in any way, then it is very unlikely to go bankrupt, and will have opportunities to make a comeback. GME has Ryan Cohen leading, a proven successful businessman that has already taken precautions to ensure GameStop never goes bankrupt. Popcorn just doesn’t have that. It is very short-squeezable, but it’s not deep fucking value.
*“Short sellers must eventually close, or cover, their short position.”*Ok, but why ‘must’ they? This is another point I think has been lost in the memes. There are two problems with just saying ‘shorts must close’ without providing context. The first is the simple fact that there isn’t a due date. Unlike a common car loan or mortgage, a short position doesn’t operate on a time table. They can wait forever to close, unless they get margin called.
This next part I’m a little shaky on, I’m probably getting some things wrong here:
Ok, well how are they going to get margin called? The problem I see is that these Short Hedge Funds (SHF) are making a lot of money by selling naked shorts. It’s really hard to get margin called when they are literally printing money, and since they don’t have to report these their books just look to be filled with an infinite amount of cash.
So, there are a couple solutions to this:
1, Government regulation. If the SEC puts a stop to naked shorting, these SHF can’t print money anymore. Eventually the interest from their positions will eat them alive, and they will get margin called. Unfortunately, MOASS has the potential to destroy the economy like in 2008, so they probably aren’t too keen on just doing this without creating some kind of safety net. So I can’t really count on them to help, because the government has a vested interest in keeping MOASS from happening. It’s just not something I believe will be the catalyst. Although they might just do it on purpose given the right reason, like pinning the economic collapse on a scapegoat, or by GameStop forcing their hand by exposing the fraud somehow. I’ve seen a lot of apes hoping for one of these reasons to come to pass, but for me, I don’t see enough motivation from the participating parties.
2, A price run-up. If the price of the stock can unbalance the books of the SHF enough then they could also get margin called. I’m not counting on this either, since the price is manipulated by the process of naked shorting. Sure, they are digging a bigger grave when they suppress the price like this, but it can also help smaller SHFs with exiting their positions with OTC stuff. Over-The-Counter trades are trades made off the lit exchanges, historically it was intended to kind of simulate a transaction between two individuals, like buying a video game from a buddy off the books, no taxes, no regulation. Unfortunately, this is abused by institutions and can’t even be used by individuals, making dark pools of trades full of fraud and undermines the free market. Smaller SHFs that are more at risk of getting Margin Called due to their lack of collateral, can make OTC trades with the big naked-shorting market makers to ‘close’ their positions using fake shares. Of course, this only passes the buck so to speak, but it’s a viable strategy for them since the big SHFs that take on these ‘bucks’ are less likely to get margin called. A lot of historic short squeezes happen because a small SHF gets margin called, then drives the price up and causes a bigger SHF to get called, and so on until they’re all in the grave. This is why I don’t really give a shit if the price goes up to $80 in a week, it’s not enough, the buck has been passed. (To be clear, I don’t have proof that this is the reason for the uptick in OTC transactions, it’s just a theory. If a smarter ape than I can get on this that would be great.) But, even if a price run-up itself doesn’t cause MOASS, it may give motivation for the true trigger:
3, Interest Rates. Here is the big one that I look at, that I believe will be the true cause of MOASS. Now please, correct me if I’m wrong again, I am just an ape who dropped out of college. So, from what I understand a Short institution has to pay a certain amount of interest to the people they borrow the stocks from. This is the cost of borrowing and is how these Lenders make money. For a long time, the interest rate was at like 1%, this means that selling one naked short could cover the cost of the interest 100 times over. However, let’s say that the interest rate becomes 110%, sounds crazy, but this would mean that borrowing the share would cost more than the share. This would destroy the balances of the SHFs and ensure they get margin called. Why would this ever happen though? Because these lenders want to make money. These lenders are the real winners of MOASS, and they aren’t talked about enough in my opinion. Lenders can’t sell the shares they’ve lent out, their income is in the interest rates, there has to be a balance here between it being more profitable to lend the shares or to sell them. If Lenders start to think that lending their shares aren’t making them more money than the alternative, they will raise interest rates to make these profits until SHFs can’t pay them, then the SHFs have to return the shares, causing MOASS with the massive buyback, then lenders can just sell the shares on the way down. Lenders have a monetary business interest in causing MOASS, so they are the most likely cause of it in my opinion.
*“This is the GME MOASS thesis. GME is a stock that stands to hit an unprecedented price point due to the fact that manipulators of the market have failed to bankrupt GameStop thanks in huge part to the Legendary Keith Gill AKA* u(slash)DeepFuckingValue*, Ryan Cohen, and all of the GME investors who took part in this saga. It may not be today, this week, or even this month, but one day soon, these toxic participants have no choice but to buy the stock to close out their short positions.”*I don’t think this is necessarily inaccurate, but I think it’s misguided, and the language here is a bit to emotive for my taste. I think the reason the company didn’t go bankrupt is because of the strategic share offering made by Ryan Cohen to build up more cash than the company’s valuation (at the time). All the other stuff was just dressing, DFV and retail did not make RC do this, this move by RC is what ensured the company literally can’t go bankrupt, until then (and at the time this was posted) it was still a risk in my opinion. So this huge thanks feels kinda like a pre-cum celebration, and I've never really liked putting Keith on a pedestal, he's just an individual investor, just like the rest of us.
FAQ, Published April 12, 2021, by u(slash)BYE_TRIANGLE
*“Why does Holding do anything?”* *“They need your shares to cover their short positions! They got greedy. Thinking GameStop would fail, the short sellers started Naked Shorting the stock. Long story short they created synthetic stocks with their special privileges as Market Makers. But they can’t cover a short with a synthetic share. So because of the Naked Shorting, the Short Sellers, multiple large greedy money managers, and Hedge Funds need a total number of shares greater than the number available to purchase. THEY NEED EVERY SHARE, EVEN YOURS CONAN!”* *“aRe YoU GuYs MaNipuLatIng THe MaRKeT?!”*Holding does something else that I think is really important. It proves that retail is not responsible for the manipulation of the price. You see it in the mainstream media every time the price fluctuates, they say that retail and Roaring Kitty is driving the price up for the memes, and that the ‘meme stock craze is dead’ whenever the price falls, claiming that retail is selling. However, it quickly becomes clear to anyone with the willingness to research that retail holds. Holding doesn’t move the price at all, so they literally can’t blame this sub for the fuckery that happens.
Now, on the flip side, I know people on the old sub to buy and sell with these fluctuations, they did it during the sneeze and I’ve seen comments claiming to do it last week. I think this is why Roaring Kitty really had to speak to congress about this, because a legitimate-seeming argument could be made that retail was buying and selling at high volumes. The loss and gain porn on the old sub could be presented as evidence. Here though, apes hold, we glaze purple doughnuts.
So when MOASS does happen, the massive price increase will be only due to buying pressure from SHFs, so they are the only ones that can take the blame for what happens next.
*“No one knows how high the squeeze could take the stock price. The best rational reasoning says that these numbers \[500k per share\] are possible through the laws of supply and demand. Furthermore, it is likely that the Short Percentage is a lot higher than reported, with many suggesting that the short-sellers, cumulatively, need more than 100% of the float to cover.”*A lot of naysayers will claim people are insane for thinking that phone number prices are possible. They will cite that it would make the company’s valuation higher than the amount of money in the world, which is true. However, with the nature of fraudulent naked shorts being fake, the price is fake too, and the valuation of the company doesn’t necessarily mean that the whole float will be sold at those prices. Yes, it shouldn’t be possible, by all accounts it wouldn’t make sense, but it is possible due to the naked shorting. Also, institutions that own shares likely won’t HODL out for the phone number prices, they will sell when they think it’s safe, and when they won’t get in trouble with the SEC for destroying the economy. The infinity pool (the shares that will be sold at these prices) will be a small fraction of the total amount even among retail investors. So the argument that I see against the possibility of this doesn’t hold a lot of weight.
Keep in mind that even though ‘buying pressure’ moves the price up, someone has to be willing to sell in order for someone to buy. So as the price creeps up from $100 to $1000 to $100000 to $8675309 someone will be selling on the way up to get there.
*“Synthetic long positions could be used to disguise their short positions as well, the mechanisms behind this practice utilize the options markets and could explain some of the crazy options activity that we have seen in GameStop the last few months.”*So uhm… I don’t understand ‘Synthetic Longs’ at all. Could an ape with more wrinkles elaborate on this? From what I can extrapolate, this may refer to an institution purchasing a naked shorted share from someone else?
*“While at the same time they employed the use of social engineering to slowly depress the positive sentiment for the stock on Reddit and elsewhere.”* *“You may have been called a Shill for one of a number of reasons. This community is very inclusive and open to everyone, but because of the blatant attacks this forum has suffered a lot of people are understandably paranoid. (Myself included). Please, unless you really are a shill, don’t take it personally.”*I want to address this, because there is a lot of misconception about SuperStonk. A lot of people will claim that this sub is just an echo chamber cult that can’t handle anyone questioning the narrative. This may seem true on the surface, but I think the reality is just that we’ve become hyper sensitive to the social engineering the old sub fell victim to, and I remember this sub being attacked with that as well. So whenever we see a post that has extremely emotive language, we become skeptical and down vote it. Emotions have no place in investing, that is a common rule touted in even the oldest investing books, so posts that try to incite an emotional response are shot down. Apes aren’t about to be manipulated again. That being said there are emotive posts that still get upvoted, ones with positive hype-filled narratives. Since these get upvoted and the negative ones don’t that sometimes gives the impression of an echo chamber. This is because the facts do support the MOASS thesis, so a hype title and opening paragraph is just more agreeable with the facts-based narrative. Some people are just scrolling on their phone and don’t have time to read the whole post.
However, if you go into the comments of these posts, there are apes investigating the profile history to determine if posters are bots, regardless of the pushed narrative. If you look past the upvote counter, apes are very skeptical of any post that isn’t based in fact or harmless memes. The comments rule the post, and I have to say I’ve very proud of this sub for staying vigilant in the wake of Reddit restricting moderation tools.
*“Ryan Cohen clearly believes in Gamestop, to the point of announcing that he will be taking equity as compensation. In fact, as of writing this all of the new Gamestop board members are going to be taking equity as compensation. This is seen as an incredibly bullish sign of the company's future success.”*This is one of the principles of Deep Value investing, I wish this was elaborated on more of why this is bullish. This means that the board, and more importantly Ryan Cohen, is tying their individual self-worth to the company. Due to this tie, they will essentially ‘go down with the ship’ if the company goes down. This means that the board and Ryan actually have an interest in the company doing well, instead of having an interest in making money off the company. You may think this sounds like the same thing, but it’s not. If RC cared more about money than the company, then he could destroy the company to make money (this is what’s happening to popcorn), but by tying his worth to the shares, the only way for him to become richer is for the company to flourish.
I don’t really like the language being used here, stuff like ‘clearly believes’ ‘seen as incredibly bullish’ are all pretty emotive and doesn’t actually explain why these are positive growth signs for the company, they are just saying it is ‘bullish’, the average new investor isn’t even going to know what that really means. Even though GME is extremely manipulated, causing Technical Analysis to become increasingly difficult to depend on, the investment is still rooted in fundamentals of deep value.
*“Below is a shortlist of some of the potential catalysts people are speculating about:*-A Stock Split, or some similar move from Gamestop that recalls shares
-Gamma Squeeze
-Gamestop’s Q1 Earnings Call
-Some speculate Gary Gensler (Newly appointed head of the SEC), may make some move that sets things in motion
-DTCC rule changes taking effect
-Appointment of a new CEO”
Yeah… this feels bad man. I’ve talked about this already, but we can rapid fire down this list.
The stock split didn’t work out, since those in charge of distributing the splits did it fraudulently. Gamma Squeeze is the kind of thing that could trigger a smaller hedge fund to get margin called and cause a domino effect, but I’ve shared my theory of the OTC action. Earnings are nice, but public sentiment has always been more tied to the media manipulation than actual facts. Fucking Gary.
On the subject of bringing in new talent, I do feel like a big move will happen soon. We’ve already seen a lot of job offerings from the Corporate side of GameStop so this could be the next phase of the plan. I really think that RC has spent these last few years taking precautions to make sure the company can’t go bankrupt, the last thing he wants is to turn out like Toys-R-Us. A lot of downsizing happened, so now he can start thinking about upsizing again.
I’m not necessarily saying that these things can’t trigger the squeeze, but I am saying that depending on something to start it is just inviting disappointment. I think the ‘no dates’ rule has been sorely forgotten lately with all the hype and speculation around Roaring Kitty’s tweets and stuff. I am a zen ape, it happens when it happens.
*“First of all, it is incredibly important to note your potential biases when determining if someone is just a shill trying to spread FUD. Not all FUD is invalid, someone may bring up a solid point against an otherwise great DD, and that could scare you. Remember that just because you do not like what someone is saying, doesn’t make it invalid. It is important users here work with constructive criticism to refine their theories.”*Damn, wasn’t I just talking about this? This critique isn’t going to just be wagging fingers, this is really good stuff that still applies today, and from what I’ve seen apes are doing a great job of distinguishing between FUD and legitimate criticism. I also want to take a second to thank the mod team, especially after their tools were restricted, they’ve been a great help.
*“…but since then retail investors have been buying on every single dip in the price… That's more than two whole months of buying-the-dip. Now, I will not speculate on numbers here, if you want to know more you will have to read the DDs on that.”*This is pretty outdated now. Apes have been buying for three years now, and with the advent of Direct Registering we have a much better idea of how much apes hold. I can say with confidence now that retail owns a floats worth of shares. Since there is so much naked shorting, a lot of institutions probably own their own floats too.
I glaze those purple doughnuts, yum.
Citadel Has No Clothes, Published March 14, 2021, by u(slash)ATOBITT
Ohhhh, this one is special to me, I read it when it first came out, first time I was there on release night. Let’s see how it hodls up.
*“TL;DR - Citadel Securities has been fined 58 times for violating FINRA, REGSHO & SEC regulations. Several instances are documented as 'willful' naked shorting. In Dec 2020 they reported an increase in their short position of 127.57% YOY, and I'm calling bullsh\*t on their shenanigans.”*58 times. I don’t actually know how much that number has gone up, but I’m sure it has. I am reminded of an old saying, that if the punishment for a crime is a fine, then it only a crime for the poor. The crime being done to GME is class warfare, it’s nothing less.
*“$295,347,948,000 of that is split into options (calls & puts), while $78,979,887,238 (20.52%) is allocated to actual, physical, shares (or so they say). The rest is convertible debt securities.”*This is why I’m skeptical that it’s even possible for Citadel to get margin called by a normal price run-up. Let’s do some math here. GME’s float is at 232 million-ish shares, let’s say they shorted 300% of that, just to be conservative (lmao), so that’s 696 million. To take what the first post said, Margins don’t get called unless an entities’ collateral becomes less than 80% of what they’ve borrowed. If they use their entire $384,926,232,238 portfolio as collateral, then GME would have to soar to a price of… divide by 4, multiply by 5… $691.32 per share. That may sound relatively reasonable, but I don’t think a normal catalyst would be enough for that. I really think interest rates are the key, think about it, if they have to pay like 30% interest on all of those shares, their portfolio will be reduced by that much (kinda) and we can find a much more reasonable midpoint. Now brace yourselves, I’m about to spend an unreasonable amount of effort on something that is probably wrong because I don’t know shit about fuck about margins or getting called (I have a cash account and I lack rizz).
In order to calculate that we gotta do one of those double equation variable bullshit things we all hated in school, I forgot what they were called but I remember how to do them.
So, we have a few variables:
C = Citadel’s Portfolio = $384,926,232,238
S = Shorted Shares = 696,000,000
I = Intrest = 0.30
X = Price Per Share
Y = Citadel’s new portfolio amount after paying interest
So, X and Y are undetermined, but we have two equations to work with
C – I(X*S) = Y
This one calculates how much money is going to be in citadels new portfolio after paying interest, we calculate the interest by multiplying the cost per share, by the amount of shorted shares, and multiplying that by the interest rate, then subtracting it from their total portfolio.
Y * 1.25 = X * S
This one calculates the total amount those shorted shares have to be in order for Citadel to get margin called, by multiplying their new portfolio by 5/4 and calculating the total cost of the shares.
X * S has a direct value; we can plug the left side of the second equation into the first to get
C – I(Y*1.25) = Y
Now we just gotta isolate Y on one side of the equation.
C = Y + 0.3(Y*1.25)
C = 1.3Y * 0.375
C= 0.4875Y
C * 0.4875 = Y
Y = $187,651,538,216.03
Now we gotta find X, we can just plug in the other stuff.
(Y* 1.25)/ 696,000,000 = X
X = $337.02 per share for shitadel to get margin called on 30% interest.
Holy shit, now that’s what I call reasonable. See how much interest can completely fuck a portfolio? They lost almost half of their portfolio value to a 30% interest to this. This is why the whole market will bleed red on the run up to MOASS, they will have to sell half of their portfolio just to pay the interest.
Citadel is probably not a good example of this, since they print the naked shorts themselves... so they would be paying interest to... themselves... when they borrow them? Citadel is so fucked up, I don't have enough wrinkles for this.
But hey, I think the concept of what I said is fine. High interest rates can reduce collateral and cause margin calls. Hey, just out of curiosity, how much is the borrowing interest rate looking now?
16.5%
SHF are fucked.
Anyway, I’m writing this on a Wordpad document so I’m not sure if I’ve come up on the character limit, but I think I’m getting close so I’ll end this part here. Please let me know what I’ve got wrong or any insights you want to share, I’ll be sure to talk about any interesting comments when I do a part 2!
TLDR: I am reviewing the Diamond Handbook (2nd) and seeing what has changed in the three years since it’s been compiled. I have a bias in thinking that high borrowing interest rates are what will cause MOASS, and that is shown here. This is not meant to be an impartial analysis, just my thoughts. Not financial advice.
2024.05.19 15:23 RyanNoSleep I am the last of the Cocoanut Grove Fire (My First Post)
I was a busboy at the Cocoanut Grove. That Saturday, the place was a heaving mass of humanity. Soldiers on leave, couples on dates, socialites, and gangsters—the club was their playground, and I was just an invisible part of the scenery. The air was a haze of smoke and alcohol, thick enough to choke on.
It was around 10:15 PM when I first saw him. A man in a dark, heavy coat, standing by the service door near the kitchen. Odd attire for such a warm, crowded club, but what really caught my eye was his face. His eyes were black pits, empty yet somehow full of a cold, malevolent hunger. His smile was a razor-thin line, cutting through his face like a wound. He gestured for me to come closer, but before I could move, he slipped into the kitchen.
Seconds later, the lights flickered, and fire erupted in the Melody Lounge. The flames didn’t spread—they leapt, as if alive, cutting off exits with a terrifying, unnatural precision. Panic ignited, and the crowd became a stampede. I tried to guide people to safety, but the fire seemed to anticipate our every move.
As I fought my way toward the kitchen, hoping for another way out, I witnessed horrors that will forever be etched into my memory.
The first was a young woman in a red dress. She had been dancing with her boyfriend moments before the fire broke out. When the flames began to spread, she tried to run, but the crowd was too thick. She stumbled and fell right in front of me. In the chaos, no one stopped to help her. The flames reached her, and her screams pierced through the cacophony. Her dress ignited, the fabric melting into her skin. I watched in horror as her flesh bubbled and peeled away, revealing raw, charred muscle beneath. Her eyes locked onto mine, pleading for help, before the fire consumed her completely. I couldn’t do anything but keep moving, the image of her agony seared into my mind.
Further ahead, near the bar, a middle-aged man, a regular at the club, was pounding on a locked door that led to the staff area. His hands were bloody, and his face was contorted in sheer panic. The smoke was thickening, making it hard to breathe. I saw him drop to his knees, clawing at his throat as he began to choke. His skin turned a sickly blue as he suffocated. The fire found him next, wrapping around his legs and creeping up his body. His screams were a mix of terror and pain as the flames cooked him alive, turning him into a grotesque statue of blackened bone and seared flesh. I wanted to help, but the fire was relentless, and I had to keep moving.
Near the back exit, which had been illegally locked to prevent people from sneaking in without paying, I saw a young couple—newlyweds celebrating their honeymoon. The husband was trying to shield his wife with his body as they pounded on the unyielding door. The fire closed in, and I heard their desperate cries for help. The flames licked at their legs, their screams merging into a single, horrifying wail. The husband’s back blistered and burst, his skin sloughing off in sheets. The wife’s hair ignited, and she clawed at her scalp in a futile attempt to extinguish the flames. They held each other as they burned, their bodies fusing together in a grotesque, charred embrace. I was frozen in place, unable to look away, until a surge of heat pushed me to keep moving.
I fought through the flames, dodging falling debris and stumbling over lifeless bodies. The heat was unbearable, the air thick with smoke and the stench of burning flesh. Finally, I found a side door and burst into the alley, gulping in the cool night air. As I looked back, the building was fully engulfed, the screams of the trapped mingling with an unholy laughter that echoed in my ears long after.
The official reports blamed faulty wiring and overcrowding, but I know better. The man in the dark coat—he wasn’t human. He was something ancient, something that revels in chaos and feeds on fear. Since that night, I’ve been plagued by dark dreams and even darker realities. Doors in my house creak open on their own, whispers drift through the night, and I see shadows moving just beyond my vision.
Every anniversary, the nightmares get worse, and I feel his presence more acutely. It’s as if the fire forged a bond between us, a bond I can’t break. I’ve tried to tell my story, but no one believes me. They think I’m just a traumatized survivor, driven mad by the horrors I witnessed.
But I know the truth. And now, so do you.
If you’re reading this, I’m begging, heed my warning. On the anniversary of the Cocoanut Grove fire, stay away from dark, crowded places. If you see a man in a dark coat with eyes like voids, don’t approach him. Run, and don’t look back.
Because once he marks you, there’s no escape. The flames will find you, and Hell will claim its due.
Tonight, as I write this, I can feel the heat building, the shadows lengthening. He’s close. I can hear his whisper just beyond the door. I don’t know if I’ll survive another anniversary, but if I don’t, remember my story.
Remember that some fires are more than just flames. They are gateways, and some doors should never be opened.
submitted by RyanNoSleep to scarystories [link] [comments]
It was around 10:15 PM when I first saw him. A man in a dark, heavy coat, standing by the service door near the kitchen. Odd attire for such a warm, crowded club, but what really caught my eye was his face. His eyes were black pits, empty yet somehow full of a cold, malevolent hunger. His smile was a razor-thin line, cutting through his face like a wound. He gestured for me to come closer, but before I could move, he slipped into the kitchen.
Seconds later, the lights flickered, and fire erupted in the Melody Lounge. The flames didn’t spread—they leapt, as if alive, cutting off exits with a terrifying, unnatural precision. Panic ignited, and the crowd became a stampede. I tried to guide people to safety, but the fire seemed to anticipate our every move.
As I fought my way toward the kitchen, hoping for another way out, I witnessed horrors that will forever be etched into my memory.
The first was a young woman in a red dress. She had been dancing with her boyfriend moments before the fire broke out. When the flames began to spread, she tried to run, but the crowd was too thick. She stumbled and fell right in front of me. In the chaos, no one stopped to help her. The flames reached her, and her screams pierced through the cacophony. Her dress ignited, the fabric melting into her skin. I watched in horror as her flesh bubbled and peeled away, revealing raw, charred muscle beneath. Her eyes locked onto mine, pleading for help, before the fire consumed her completely. I couldn’t do anything but keep moving, the image of her agony seared into my mind.
Further ahead, near the bar, a middle-aged man, a regular at the club, was pounding on a locked door that led to the staff area. His hands were bloody, and his face was contorted in sheer panic. The smoke was thickening, making it hard to breathe. I saw him drop to his knees, clawing at his throat as he began to choke. His skin turned a sickly blue as he suffocated. The fire found him next, wrapping around his legs and creeping up his body. His screams were a mix of terror and pain as the flames cooked him alive, turning him into a grotesque statue of blackened bone and seared flesh. I wanted to help, but the fire was relentless, and I had to keep moving.
Near the back exit, which had been illegally locked to prevent people from sneaking in without paying, I saw a young couple—newlyweds celebrating their honeymoon. The husband was trying to shield his wife with his body as they pounded on the unyielding door. The fire closed in, and I heard their desperate cries for help. The flames licked at their legs, their screams merging into a single, horrifying wail. The husband’s back blistered and burst, his skin sloughing off in sheets. The wife’s hair ignited, and she clawed at her scalp in a futile attempt to extinguish the flames. They held each other as they burned, their bodies fusing together in a grotesque, charred embrace. I was frozen in place, unable to look away, until a surge of heat pushed me to keep moving.
I fought through the flames, dodging falling debris and stumbling over lifeless bodies. The heat was unbearable, the air thick with smoke and the stench of burning flesh. Finally, I found a side door and burst into the alley, gulping in the cool night air. As I looked back, the building was fully engulfed, the screams of the trapped mingling with an unholy laughter that echoed in my ears long after.
The official reports blamed faulty wiring and overcrowding, but I know better. The man in the dark coat—he wasn’t human. He was something ancient, something that revels in chaos and feeds on fear. Since that night, I’ve been plagued by dark dreams and even darker realities. Doors in my house creak open on their own, whispers drift through the night, and I see shadows moving just beyond my vision.
Every anniversary, the nightmares get worse, and I feel his presence more acutely. It’s as if the fire forged a bond between us, a bond I can’t break. I’ve tried to tell my story, but no one believes me. They think I’m just a traumatized survivor, driven mad by the horrors I witnessed.
But I know the truth. And now, so do you.
If you’re reading this, I’m begging, heed my warning. On the anniversary of the Cocoanut Grove fire, stay away from dark, crowded places. If you see a man in a dark coat with eyes like voids, don’t approach him. Run, and don’t look back.
Because once he marks you, there’s no escape. The flames will find you, and Hell will claim its due.
Tonight, as I write this, I can feel the heat building, the shadows lengthening. He’s close. I can hear his whisper just beyond the door. I don’t know if I’ll survive another anniversary, but if I don’t, remember my story.
Remember that some fires are more than just flames. They are gateways, and some doors should never be opened.
2024.05.19 15:22 Silver_Fisherman8221 How the hell did you come to terms with yourself?
Briefly about me: I haven't come out to anyone yet about my identity struggles. I don't think I'm really trans since I'm actually very content with being a man. But sometimes I daydream about being a woman and imagine myself wearing the clothes certain women on the streets are wearing when something really stands out. I also just really enjoy dressing femininely and owning cute feminine things, albeit in my room where no one sees. I really want to share these feelings with someone and talk about it, but I am just so ashamed of them. I thought I could get rid of those one day and become "normal", but I've given up on the idea. Still I can't accept this part of myself. I'm so scared of my self-image that I don't even dare to share it with my therapist yet. I really don't know how to gather the courage to talk about it to someone, but I don't want to suffer alone about it anymore. But I fear so much that I "maybe" can rid of these feelings because sometimes Id laugh at myself to wake up to reality again that all this is just a momentary thought and fun and not something I have to accept. Ahhh I really don't know what the fuck I am and what to do.
submitted by Silver_Fisherman8221 to MtF [link] [comments]
2024.05.19 15:17 SugarMouseOnReddit Imagined Clash Album 07 - Reboot The Mission
 | The magazine Entertainment Weekly made an attempt to create a "Reunion Clash album", by using post Clash songs that former Clash members were involved in recording. The magazine tried to sequence the songs in a way that captures the magic the band were able to make when they were still a cohesive unit. Here is the link to the Entertainment Weekly Magazine article. submitted by SugarMouseOnReddit to theclash [link] [comments] https://ew.com/article/2014/08/20/the-clash-the-black-album-reunion/ With this Entertainment Weekly project as inspiration, I'm doing a project with the help of some friends where we imagine an alternate reality where The Clash took a break after Combat Rock/Rat Patrol and ToppeMick never left the band. In this alternate reality, The Clash continued as a band and Joe Strummer didn't pass in 2002. They continued to make albums with the classic lineup of Joe/Mick/Paul/Topper for many years. Just like the Entertainment Weekly article above, my inspiration comes from the movie Boyhood where the Ethan Hawke character created an imagined post-Beatles album using songs involving any of the former members of the Beatles. How would this look for The Clash if life had gone in a different direction than what actually happened? What would the album titles have been? What songs would have been included? The Clash loved to include covers and songs by other artists on their studio albums so I'm using songs written by other artists in this project. I started this project in post earlier this month with album #6 (called We Go On) which would have been the follow-up to Combat Rock/Rat Patrol (Cut The Crap never happened in this imagined reality) and I am using songs post Combat Rock/Rat Patrol where at least one of the classic four Clash members was a contributor to the song. In this thread of albums I'm compiling albums using songs post 1982 (making a few exceptions for 101ers songs that I imagine might have been re-recorded by Joe and the band) so each album can include songs from the 1980's, 1990's, or post-2000. I'm creating Spotify playlists for each. Here we're discussing imagined album #7 which I'm calling Reboot The Mission (the previous album #6 was called We Go On). See below where I'm listing the songs and the artist that performed the songs in the "real world". I'll try to do one of these every few weeks as my schedule allows. Clash Album 01 - The Clash Clash Album 02 - Give 'Em Enough Rope Clash Album 03 - London Calling Clash Album 04 - Sandinista Clash Album 05 - Combat Rock/Rat Patrol Clash Album 06 - We Go On 1. Rush (Big Audio Dynamite) 2. Tony Adams (Joe Strummer & The Mescaleros) 3. Merrie Land (The Good, The Bad, & The Queen featuring Paul Simonon) 4. I Turned Out A Punk (Big Audio Dynamite) 5. Burning Streets (Joe Strummer & The Mescaleros) 6. Room At The Top (Galen & Paul) 7. Baby, Don't Apologize (Big Audio Dynamite) 8. Silent Telephone (Joe Strummer) 9. Pouring Rain (1984) (Joe Strummer, Paul Simonon, & Pete Howard) 10. All For The Life of The city (The Flaming Lips featuring Mick Jones) 11. Free (Big Audio Dynamite) 12. Innocent Child (Big Audio Dynamite) 13. Secret Agent Man (Joe Strummer) 14. Bummed Out City (Joe Strummer & The Mescaleros) 15. We Go On (The Avalanches featuring Mick Jones) Spotify Playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6MqYDqd2nUyN54zMQ22agO?si=ebb7a0af19964f42 Clash Album 07 - Reboot The Mission 1. Reboot The Mission (The Wallflowers featuring Mick Jones) 2. Letsagetabitarockin) (Joe Strummer) 3. Reach For The Sky (Carbon/Silicon) 4. Medicine Show (Big Audio Dynamite) 5. At The Border, Guy (Joe Strummer & The Mescaleros) 6. Green Fields (The Good, The Bad, & The Queen) 7. One More For The Road (Galen & Paul) 8. Gamma Ray (Joe Strummer & The Mescaleros) 9. Rabies (From The Dogs of Love) (Joe Strummer) 10. Algerian Tango (Rachid Taha featuring Mick Jones) 11. 15th Brigade (Joe Strummer) 12. Life Is Wild (Joe Strummer) 13. Must Be The Music (Big Audio Dynamite) 14. Applecart (Big Audio Dynamite) 15. Tennessee Rain (Joe Strummer) Spotify Playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0OnxhDz11mUlXuKEMNlPOs?si=776ee3dedd1548c4 https://preview.redd.it/mvdn9c39vd1d1.png?width=477&format=png&auto=webp&s=d28bcc1cae7461b3e311784d9a597fd1992d8884 |
2024.05.19 15:09 Hold_Me_Bro_ A Rant about how I am tired of being treated like a stereotype
I hate how women treat me, it drives me fucking crazy.
I am a masculine gay man 22, I’m not flamboyant or anything of the sort, but I am very short (5’3 or 1.6 meters) but I work out like it’s may job. Anyways older women treat me like I’m their stereotypical gay best friend and young girls ( 16-25) treat me like I’m a lil soft cute twink. They are the same kinds of girls who read shit like heart stopper and think that that is how gay men work, one must be masculine and the other must be a uwu soft boy ( threw up in my mouth just writing that ) because how dare I be attracted to masculine men and be masculine myself, one of us must be the twink.
I’m just tired of high-school aged girls (my little sisters friends) asking me questions like if I have have ever worn a skirt or if I like to wear makeup. And women older than me wanting me to be their mystical gay friend who can answer all questions about men.
And don’t even get me started on bisexual girls my age. I don’t know what it is but they have a strange obsession with femboys and yuoi ( I think that’s how you spell it) They get mad when I don’t act the why they think I should act. Apparently a cute lil femboy twink is not supposed to dress like he’s homeless. There are even worse situations where they try to ask me out and then get mad when I say I’m into men. I’ve once had a girl say that she would wear a strap on, I just kinda looked at her like she was insane.
Older women (30-40)see me as just their gay friend not an actual person. They will just complain to me about men and how it is so hard to find a “good guy” or they will try to set me up on dates. And I can see how that is a nice gesture but I’m pretty sure they just see another gay man and set me up. I don’t think there is any other criteria other than gay.
I have more male friends than female friends for this reason they don’t seem to give a shit that I am gay and they just treat me like a regular dude not some cute delicate flower that need to be protected.
And the final point of this rant is women asking me about the men I have been with and then being disappointed by how low the number is and then bringing up hookup culture. I feel like I am a broken record when I have to explain I don’t have time for that. I am juggling to many things to have time for hookups. Also I have a think were I can only enjoy sleeping with someone on the condition I have known them for a long while. Let’s just say dating is a nightmare.
I’m not sure if I’m just surrounded by crazy people or this is a common occurrence amongst gay bros. Also sorry about any grammar errors or spelling I was writing this on my phone.
Edit: I am trying to get over my anger by ranting about it. I’m tired of being insecure about myself and how I look and act. I want to be able to live my life with out being angry about things that happened to me as a kid as a result of being smaller and gay. I’m just jealous of more flamboyant men being able to be confident. I’ve been keeping these feelings Since middle school and have been letting them fester for years and years which results in some unsavory behavior on my part, but I am trying to be better.
submitted by Hold_Me_Bro_ to gaybros [link] [comments]
I am a masculine gay man 22, I’m not flamboyant or anything of the sort, but I am very short (5’3 or 1.6 meters) but I work out like it’s may job. Anyways older women treat me like I’m their stereotypical gay best friend and young girls ( 16-25) treat me like I’m a lil soft cute twink. They are the same kinds of girls who read shit like heart stopper and think that that is how gay men work, one must be masculine and the other must be a uwu soft boy ( threw up in my mouth just writing that ) because how dare I be attracted to masculine men and be masculine myself, one of us must be the twink.
I’m just tired of high-school aged girls (my little sisters friends) asking me questions like if I have have ever worn a skirt or if I like to wear makeup. And women older than me wanting me to be their mystical gay friend who can answer all questions about men.
And don’t even get me started on bisexual girls my age. I don’t know what it is but they have a strange obsession with femboys and yuoi ( I think that’s how you spell it) They get mad when I don’t act the why they think I should act. Apparently a cute lil femboy twink is not supposed to dress like he’s homeless. There are even worse situations where they try to ask me out and then get mad when I say I’m into men. I’ve once had a girl say that she would wear a strap on, I just kinda looked at her like she was insane.
Older women (30-40)see me as just their gay friend not an actual person. They will just complain to me about men and how it is so hard to find a “good guy” or they will try to set me up on dates. And I can see how that is a nice gesture but I’m pretty sure they just see another gay man and set me up. I don’t think there is any other criteria other than gay.
I have more male friends than female friends for this reason they don’t seem to give a shit that I am gay and they just treat me like a regular dude not some cute delicate flower that need to be protected.
And the final point of this rant is women asking me about the men I have been with and then being disappointed by how low the number is and then bringing up hookup culture. I feel like I am a broken record when I have to explain I don’t have time for that. I am juggling to many things to have time for hookups. Also I have a think were I can only enjoy sleeping with someone on the condition I have known them for a long while. Let’s just say dating is a nightmare.
I’m not sure if I’m just surrounded by crazy people or this is a common occurrence amongst gay bros. Also sorry about any grammar errors or spelling I was writing this on my phone.
Edit: I am trying to get over my anger by ranting about it. I’m tired of being insecure about myself and how I look and act. I want to be able to live my life with out being angry about things that happened to me as a kid as a result of being smaller and gay. I’m just jealous of more flamboyant men being able to be confident. I’ve been keeping these feelings Since middle school and have been letting them fester for years and years which results in some unsavory behavior on my part, but I am trying to be better.