Tree baby blanket

Home for tree-loving, baby-eating atheists.

2011.03.08 06:59 Train_Wreck_272 Home for tree-loving, baby-eating atheists.

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2008.06.14 20:25 knittit

Warm, fuzzy, sometimes tangled. Due to the holiday season, it may take up to 48 hours for (1) a post to be approved/ reviewed (2) response to modmail/from a moderator. Regarding the API/blackout we're open again but also watching, listening, thinking hard. Whatever happens needs to happen thoughtfully. Please keep being excellent to each other.
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2008.09.06 15:36 Crochet

This sub is for crocheters to share their work, discuss, swap ideas, and support each other. We like fun contributions and discussion. So, what's on your hook? For questions, please check our sister sub, CrochetHelp!
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2024.05.19 14:14 NothingSignificant37 Is this a big deal? Would my therapist care?

Scared to disclose
I've never told anyone this before because I don't know if it's a big deal and I'm scared my therapist will be like ok so what.
But I think about it alot, when I was around 13 my dad's girlfriend at the time son, would play a game with me hide and seek in the dark. I hid under my blanket and he pretended he didn't know I was there. And he felt my body parts pretending he didn't know. And after that he would start to lay on me when I was asleep and feel around. I never said anything and didn't move. My dad was never there and wouldn't have cared anyway but I think I need to tell someone this and process it but at the same time I feel like it's nothing worthy of telling.
I started sleeping outside in an old tree house when he and his mum came around just to avoid him. I even hid in a closet sometimes to pretend I wasn't there.
Sometimes my therapist glosses over me mentioning I've been abused, I once told him I was attacked in my home country and he said you're not selling me on country here.
submitted by NothingSignificant37 to askatherapist [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 13:48 Mellbbott This has to be a baby blanket somebody knit for them? What assholes! Another gift passed on to the dogs?

This has to be a baby blanket somebody knit for them? What assholes! Another gift passed on to the dogs? submitted by Mellbbott to Drueandgabe [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 13:37 Additional-Thing-200 Sloth story Part 2

Since he was cautious little sloth, he did not rush to climb the tallest tree immediately but went to seek advise from his old grandma Slotha and his stepgrandpa, wise old monkey in wheelchair which name was Gongo. They raised him and loved him since his parents were killed by the poachers while he was still baby. Old Gongo told him: "My dear Slowty , we can not prevent you from following your dream but know one thing. That blody tree is the reason for these wheels I had to turn all my life. I was young like you when I tried, but my mistake was that I went unprepared.....You see , you will need to do stretching exercise of all your limbs and especialy the tail....when you feel fit and ready, than go for it. " So the Slowty started to get ready. After five long months of exhausting exercise , he felt it. His tail was full of muscles. He was ready.....
End of part 2
S
submitted by Additional-Thing-200 to Slothana [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 13:27 TrollintheMitten What bird is this?

Found this baby while walking my dogs. There's a tree nearby but the nearest branches are out of my ability to return it to. How far could it have moved itself from where it fell?
What kind of bird is it? Location: Michigan
submitted by TrollintheMitten to animalid [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 13:26 Sweet-Count2557 12 Outdoor Ice Skating Rinks Across Connecticut for Winter Family Fun

12 Outdoor Ice Skating Rinks Across Connecticut for Winter Family Fun
12 Outdoor Ice Skating Rinks Across Connecticut for Winter Family Fun Are you ready to slide into winter with some chilly family fun? Connecticut has got you covered with not one, not two, but twelve outdoor ice skating rinks just waiting to be explored.From the picturesque town of Stamford to the vibrant city of Hartford, there's a perfect spot for everyone to lace up their skates and glide across the ice.So, grab your mittens and join us as we take a journey through the frozen wonderland of Connecticut's outdoor ice skating rinks.Key TakeawaysThere are outdoor ice skating rinks available in various cities across Connecticut, including Stamford, Westport, Darien, Redding, Fairfield, New Haven, and Hartford.Each rink has its own unique features and offerings, such as the Steven & Alexandra Cohen Ice Skating Center in Stamford, which spans over 9,000 feet of ice and is open most days through February.Some rinks have specific opening dates, such as the Westport PAL Rink in Westport, which is scheduled to open on November 25, 2022, weather permitting.Certain rinks, like Gorhams Pond in Darien, offer picturesque winter scenes and invite families for ice skating. Skating seasons may start earlier in locations with colder weather.Stamford Ice Skating CenterLocated in Stamford, the Steven & Alexandra Cohen Ice Skating Center offers an expansive 9,000 feet of ice for an exhilarating outdoor skating experience. Our center is the perfect place for ice skating enthusiasts of all ages and skill levels. Whether you're a beginner looking to learn the basics or an experienced skater looking to improve your skills, we've a variety of ice skating lessons and programs to suit your needs. Our highly trained instructors are dedicated to providing a safe and supportive environment for learning and growth.At the Stamford Ice Skating Center, we also offer a range of special events and activities to enhance your skating experience. From themed skate nights to holiday celebrations, there's always something exciting happening on the ice. Bring your friends and family for a fun-filled day of skating and enjoy our festive atmosphere.In addition to our regular ice skating sessions, we host a variety of special events throughout the season. Whether it's a figure skating competition, a hockey tournament, or a charity fundraiser, there's always something happening at the Stamford Ice Skating Center. Join us for thrilling performances and support the local skating community.Westport PAL RinkAfter enjoying the exciting skating experience at the Steven & Alexandra Cohen Ice Skating Center in Stamford, it's time to venture to the Westport PAL Rink for more open-air skating near the picturesque Long Island Sound. Westport PAL Rink offers a variety of activities and events for skaters of all ages and skill levels.One of the highlights of the Westport PAL Rink is its skating schedule and events. The rink is open for public skating sessions throughout the week, providing ample opportunity for families and friends to enjoy the ice together. Additionally, the rink hosts special events such as theme nights, live music, and even ice shows. These events add an extra element of excitement and entertainment to the skating experience, making each visit to the rink a memorable one.For beginners or those looking to improve their skating skills, Westport PAL Rink also offers skating lessons. These lessons are taught by experienced instructors who are dedicated to helping skaters develop their abilities and confidence on the ice. Whether you're a complete novice or just looking to refine your technique, the skating lessons at Westport PAL Rink are designed to cater to your individual needs and goals.With its beautiful location near the Long Island Sound, the Westport PAL Rink provides a unique and invigorating outdoor skating experience. Skaters can enjoy the crisp winter air and scenic views as they glide across the ice. The rink's open-air setting adds a sense of freedom and liberation to the skating experience, allowing skaters to fully embrace the joy of gliding on the ice.Gorhams Pond in DarienGorhams Pond in Darien offers a picturesque winter scene for families and individuals to enjoy the exhilarating activity of ice skating. Here are three reasons why Gorhams Pond in Darien is the perfect destination for family-friendly ice skating activities and winter scenery:Timing of the Ice Skating Season: Gorhams Pond in Darien starts its ice skating season earlier than other rinks due to the colder weather in the area. This means that you can hit the ice sooner and make the most of the winter season. Imagine gliding across the frozen pond, surrounded by the beauty of nature, with the crisp winter air filling your lungs. It's a truly liberating experience.Family-Friendly Activities: Gorhams Pond in Darien isn't just about ice skating. It offers a range of family-friendly activities to keep everyone entertained. From ice hockey games to figure skating lessons, there's something for everyone. You can spend quality time with your loved ones, creating memories that will last a lifetime. And with the stunning winter scenery as your backdrop, every moment spent at Gorhams Pond will feel like a winter wonderland.Winter Scenery: One of the highlights of Gorhams Pond in Darien is its picturesque winter scenes. The pond is surrounded by tall trees, their branches covered in a blanket of snow. The glistening ice reflects the sunlight, creating a magical atmosphere. Whether you're a seasoned skater or a beginner, you'll be captivated by the serene beauty of the surroundings. It's a place where you can escape the hustle and bustle of daily life and immerse yourself in the freedom of the winter season.Redding Community CenterTucked away in a quiet corner of Redding, the Redding Community Center offers a convenient and inviting location for ice skating enthusiasts of all ages. This hidden gem provides a safe and enjoyable experience for families looking to have some winter fun on the ice.The Redding Community Center boasts a flexible skating schedule that caters to various preferences and schedules. From dawn to dusk, the ice rink is open every day, allowing visitors to choose a time that works best for them.One of the standout features of the Redding Community Center is its designated evening skate times. These evening sessions create a magical atmosphere, with twinkling lights illuminating the ice and creating a cozy ambiance. Skating under the night sky adds an extra touch of enchantment to the experience.In addition to its convenient schedule, the Redding Community Center offers a range of amenities to enhance the skating experience. Visitors can take advantage of the on-site skate rentals, ensuring that everyone has access to the necessary equipment. The center also provides a warming hut where skaters can take a break and warm up before heading back onto the ice.The Redding Community Center isn't just a place for skating; it's a hub of family-friendly activities. Alongside the ice rink, there are often other winter activities available, such as sledding or snowball fights. Families can make a whole day out of their visit, enjoying the various winter activities and creating cherished memories.Whether you're a seasoned skater or just starting out, the Redding Community Center is the perfect place to lace up your skates and enjoy some quality time on the ice. Its convenient schedule, amenities, and family-friendly atmosphere make it a must-visit destination for winter fun. So gather your loved ones, embrace the freedom of the ice, and make unforgettable memories at the Redding Community Center.Gould Manor Park in FairfieldNestled within the picturesque town of Fairfield, Gould Manor Park offers a delightful outdoor ice skating experience for families and skating enthusiasts alike. As you step onto the glistening ice, you can't help but feel a sense of freedom and excitement.Here are three things to know about Gould Manor Park in Fairfield:Best times to visit for a less crowded experience: If you prefer a quieter skating session, it's best to visit Gould Manor Park in the early morning or on weekdays. The park tends to be less crowded during these times, allowing you to glide across the ice with ease and enjoy the peaceful surroundings. Embrace the freedom of having the rink to yourself or with just a few fellow skaters.Tips for beginners to enjoy ice skating at the park: If you're new to ice skating, Gould Manor Park is the perfect place to learn and improve your skills. Remember to dress warmly and wear comfortable, supportive shoes. It's also a good idea to bring a helmet for added safety. Take your time and start by practicing your balance and basic strides along the edges of the rink. Don't be afraid to ask for help or take a lesson if you're feeling unsure. With a little practice and determination, you'll soon be gliding confidently across the ice.Embrace the freedom of the open space: Gould Manor Park offers a spacious outdoor rink that allows you to fully embrace the freedom and joy of ice skating. Take in the crisp winter air as you skate under the clear blue sky. Feel the wind on your face as you glide effortlessly across the ice. Whether you're twirling, spinning, or simply taking leisurely laps around the rink, Gould Manor Park provides the perfect backdrop for an unforgettable ice skating experience.Owen Fish Park in FairfieldHave you ever wondered where to find a charming outdoor ice skating rink in Fairfield, Connecticut? Look no further than Owen Fish Park, a hidden gem nestled within the town. This picturesque park offers a tree-lined pond that is perfect for ice skating activities and immersing yourself in the beautiful winter scenery.At Owen Fish Park, you can lace up your skates and glide across the smooth ice, surrounded by towering trees and a peaceful atmosphere. The park provides a serene setting for families and friends to enjoy the timeless activity of ice skating. Whether you're a beginner or an experienced skater, Owen Fish Park offers a welcoming space for everyone to embrace the joy of gliding on ice.To give you a better idea of what to expect at Owen Fish Park, here's a table that highlights some key features:Owen Fish Park in FairfieldLocationFairfield, ConnecticutSkating ActivitiesIce Skating, Ice Hockey, Skating PracticeWinter SceneryTree-lined Pond, Serene AtmosphereAmenitiesBenches, Restrooms, ParkingOpening HoursDawn to DuskAs you can see, Owen Fish Park provides more than just a place to skate. It offers a tranquil escape from the hustle and bustle of everyday life, allowing you to reconnect with nature and enjoy the simple pleasures of winter. So grab your skates, bundle up in warm attire, and head over to Owen Fish Park for a memorable ice skating experience.Remember to always check the park's opening hours and any safety guidelines before your visit. Enjoy the freedom of gliding on ice and creating lasting memories in the enchanting winter wonderland of Owen Fish Park.Osbornedale State Park in DerbyLooking for a stunning outdoor ice skating destination in Derby, Connecticut? Look no further than Osbornedale State Park, where you can experience the thrill of gliding across the ice in a picturesque setting.Here are three reasons why Osbornedale State Park is the perfect place for your next ice skating adventure:Safety First: When enjoying outdoor ice skating, it's important to prioritize safety. Remember to wear proper attire, including warm clothing, gloves, and a helmet. Check the ice thickness before stepping onto it, and always skate in designated areas to avoid any potential hazards. By following these outdoor ice skating safety tips, you can ensure a fun and worry-free experience at Osbornedale State Park.Best Times to Visit: To make the most of your visit to Osbornedale State Park, it's helpful to know the best times to go. The park is open from sunrise to sunset, but for optimal ice skating conditions, it's recommended to go during colder months when the ice is more likely to be frozen solid. Additionally, weekdays tend to be less crowded, providing more freedom and space to enjoy the ice.An Enchanting Winter Wonderland: Osbornedale State Park offers a magical winter backdrop for your ice skating escapades. The park's designated ice skating area is surrounded by beautiful natural scenery, including towering trees and snow-covered landscapes. As you glide across the ice, you'll feel a sense of freedom and exhilaration, surrounded by the beauty of nature.Wrights Pond in OrangeWrights Pond in Orange offers a delightful winter experience, with its serene setting and abundant wildlife. As you glide across the ice, you'll be surrounded by the beauty of nature, with snow-covered trees and the sounds of birds chirping in the distance. This hidden gem is the perfect place to escape the hustle and bustle of daily life and immerse yourself in the tranquility of winter.One of the highlights of Wrights Pond is the opportunity to observe winter wildlife in their natural habitat. As you skate, keep an eye out for graceful swans gliding across the frozen surface and playful squirrels darting through the snow. The pond is teeming with life, providing a unique and enchanting experience for visitors of all ages.To ensure your safety, the city Parks and Recreation Department closely monitors the ice conditions at Wrights Pond. They regularly check the thickness of the ice and provide updates to the public. It's important to always follow their guidance and heed any warnings or restrictions they may have in place. By doing so, you can enjoy a worry-free skating experience and focus on the joy of being outdoors.To further emphasize the importance of ice safety, here's a table highlighting some key tips:Ice Safety TipsCheck ice thicknessAvoid skating aloneWear appropriate gearStay away from cracksObserve posted warningsTrust your instinctsThe Bushnell in HartfordNestled in the heart of Hartford, The Bushnell provides a winter wonderland for ice skating enthusiasts of all ages. The Bushnell, known for its stunning architecture and rich history, transforms into a magical ice skating rink during the winter months.Here are three reasons why The Bushnell is a must-visit destination for winter fun:Winterfest activities: The Bushnell hosts a variety of Winterfest activities that are sure to delight visitors. From ice sculpting demonstrations to live music performances, there's always something exciting happening at The Bushnell. Families can enjoy the festive atmosphere while gliding across the ice and creating lasting memories.Free skating lessons: For those who are new to ice skating or want to improve their skills, The Bushnell offers free skating lessons. Experienced instructors are available to teach beginners the basics of skating or help more advanced skaters refine their techniques. Whether you're a novice or an expert, The Bushnell has something to offer everyone.The perfect setting: The Bushnell's picturesque location, surrounded by the beauty of downtown Hartford, provides a stunning backdrop for a day of ice skating. Skaters can enjoy panoramic views of the city skyline as they glide across the ice. The Bushnell's outdoor rink is the perfect place to embrace the freedom of winter and experience the joy of skating.Simsbury Farms in SimsburyAfter experiencing the enchanting winter wonderland at The Bushnell, it's time to explore another captivating outdoor ice skating destination in Connecticut - Simsbury Farms in Simsbury.Simsbury Farms is a hidden gem nestled in the charming town of Simsbury, offering a range of exciting winter activities for the whole family to enjoy.One of the highlights of Simsbury Farms is its covered ice skating rink, which provides a sheltered and cozy environment for skaters of all ages and skill levels. Whether you're a seasoned pro or just starting out, the rink at Simsbury Farms has something for everyone. And if you're new to ice skating, don't worry - they offer skating lessons taught by experienced instructors who'll guide you every step of the way.Aside from ice skating, Simsbury Farms also offers other winter activities to keep the whole family entertained. You can take a leisurely stroll on the nearby walking trails, surrounded by picturesque winter scenery. Or, if you're feeling adventurous, you can try your hand at cross-country skiing on the groomed trails. And for those who prefer a more relaxed pace, there are designated areas for sledding and snowshoeing.Winter at Simsbury Farms is truly a magical experience. The crisp air, the sound of blades gliding on ice, and the laughter of families enjoying the outdoors create an atmosphere of freedom and joy. So, gather your loved ones and head over to Simsbury Farms for a day of winter fun. Whether you're a seasoned skater or just starting out, Simsbury Farms has something for everyone.Winding Trails in FarmingtonWinding Trails in Farmington offers a charming and picturesque outdoor ice skating experience for visitors of all ages. As you glide across the smooth ice, surrounded by snow-covered landscapes, you'll feel a sense of freedom and joy.Here are three reasons why Winding Trails is a must-visit destination for winter activities:Tranquil Setting: Winding Trails is nestled in the heart of Farmington, surrounded by snow-encrusted pines and breathtaking natural beauty. The peaceful atmosphere creates the perfect backdrop for a serene ice skating experience. As you skate hand-in-hand with loved ones or gracefully twirl on your own, you'll feel a sense of tranquility and escape from the hustle and bustle of everyday life.Family-Friendly Environment: Winding Trails welcomes visitors of all ages, making it an ideal destination for a fun-filled family outing. Whether you're a seasoned skater or a beginner, there's something for everyone to enjoy. Parents can watch their little ones take their first wobbly steps on the ice, while older siblings can challenge each other to friendly races. The laughter and smiles of families enjoying the winter wonderland will warm your heart.Old-Fashioned Charm: Winding Trails offers an authentic and nostalgic ice skating experience. The rink is reminiscent of a bygone era, where outdoor skating was a cherished winter pastime. As you glide across the ice, the crisp winter air filling your lungs, you'll feel connected to a simpler time. The sound of skates gliding and laughter echoing off the surrounding trees creates a magical ambiance that will transport you to a world of pure joy and freedom.Make sure to carve out some time this winter to visit Winding Trails in Farmington. With its tranquil setting, family-friendly environment, and old-fashioned charm, it's the perfect place to create lasting memories and embrace the beauty of the winter season.Eastbury Pond in GlastonburyWith its expansive frozen surface and thrilling skating adventure, Eastbury Pond in Glastonbury is a winter wonderland for ice skating enthusiasts of all ages. As you glide across the glistening ice, you can feel a sense of freedom and exhilaration, surrounded by the beauty of nature.To give you a glimpse of what awaits you at Eastbury Pond, let me paint a picture with words. Imagine stepping onto the ice, your blades cutting through the smooth surface with ease. The crisp winter air fills your lungs as you pick up speed, the wind rushing past your face. The pond stretches out before you, inviting you to explore its frozen expanse. And as you twirl and spin, you can't help but feel a sense of joy and liberation.But while Eastbury Pond offers thrilling winter adventures, it's important to prioritize ice safety precautions. Before heading out onto the ice, make sure to check its thickness. A minimum of four inches is generally considered safe for skating. It's also essential to wear appropriate gear, including a helmet, knee pads, and warm clothing. And remember, never skate alone. Bring a friend or family member along for added safety and enjoyment.Now, let's take a look at a table that showcases the key features of Eastbury Pond:FeatureDescriptionExpansive SurfaceThe pond offers a large area for skating, allowing for freedom of movement.Natural BeautySurrounded by picturesque landscapes, Eastbury Pond provides a visually stunning backdrop.Family-FriendlyThe pond is suitable for ice skaters of all ages and welcomes families for a fun-filled experience.With its thrilling skating adventure and emphasis on safety, Eastbury Pond in Glastonbury is the perfect destination for a winter escapade. So grab your skates, bundle up, and get ready to embark on a memorable ice skating journey.Frequently Asked QuestionsAre There Any Age Restrictions for Ice Skating at the Stamford Ice Skating Center?There are no age restrictions for ice skating at the Stamford Ice Skating Center. It's a great place for the whole family to enjoy some winter fun on the ice.The center follows strict ice skating rules and safety measures to ensure a safe and enjoyable experience for everyone.As for the best time to visit the outdoor ice skating rinks in Connecticut, it's typically during the colder months when the ice is at its best.Is There a Fee for Ice Skating at the Westport PAL Rink?Yes, there's a fee for ice skating at the Westport PAL rink. The rink offers open skate time near Long Island Sound and is mostly dedicated to recreational skating.As for the age restrictions at the Stamford Ice Skating Center, there are no specific restrictions mentioned.Visitors are allowed to bring their own ice skates to Gorhams Pond in Darien, and skate rental services are available at the Redding Community Center.It's worth noting that there's no information about a limit on the number of people allowed on the ice at Gould Manor Park in Fairfield.Can Visitors Bring Their Own Ice Skates to Gorhams Pond in Darien?Yes, visitors are allowed to bring their own ice skates to Gorhams Pond in Darien. It's a picturesque winter destination that invites families for a delightful ice skating experience.However, it's important to remember to take safety precautions while enjoying the ice. At the Steven & Alexandra Cohen Ice Skating Center in Stamford, safety measures are in place to ensure a secure skating environment.Are There Any Skate Rental Services Available at the Redding Community Center?Yes, there are skate rental services available at the Redding Community Center. They understand the importance of providing convenience to visitors and offer skate rentals for those who don't have their own skates.Additionally, many other outdoor ice skating rinks across Connecticut also offer skate rentals. It's a great option for families who want to enjoy the winter fun without the hassle of bringing their own equipment.Is There a Limit on the Number of People Allowed on the Ice at Gould Manor Park in Fairfield?There is no limit on the number of people allowed on the ice at Gould Manor Park in Fairfield. It's a charming spot with a Currier & Ives scene of children skating.As for the Stamford Ice Skating Center, there are no age restrictions for ice skating. It spans over 9,000 feet of ice and is open most days through February.Both locations offer a wonderful opportunity for families to enjoy outdoor ice skating in Connecticut.ConclusionSo lace up your skates and let the ice be your canvas as you glide across the frozen landscapes of Connecticut.Whether you choose the Steven & Alexandra Cohen Ice Skating Center in Stamford or the Westport PAL Rink near Long Island Sound, there's no shortage of outdoor ice skating rinks for winter family fun.So grab your loved ones and embark on a winter adventure that will leave you with memories as sparkling as the ice itself.
submitted by Sweet-Count2557 to worldkidstravel [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 13:26 Orange_Menace1 Randyll Tarly - Blackfyre Supporter (my first theory)

Randyll Tarly - Blackfyre Supporter (my first theory)
Note: I started writing this and it got away from me. Rather than fill in the unfinished points, I've just left them there for everyone to consider

Preface

Randyll Tarly on a first read through is a jerk. He tortures Sam, insults Brienne, implements draconian justice and downplays the golden company threat. Prima-Facie, he is a violent commander with little political cunning.
Except for his results. By the end of ADWD
· He receives accolades for every battle fought (I hold fire on the term won)
· He holds the queen in his custody.
· He has a voice at council
· He secured his chosen heir in defiance of westrosi customs
If we assume these things didn’t happen by chance, we can re-examine some of his older achievements, actions, and then try to sort out his motives.

Randyll Tarly as a Commander

Roberts Rebellion

Battle of Ashford

Context: The battle of Ashford was Roberts one defeat in his rebellion. Tarly’s van sailed forward and defeated Roberts host, but the battle was inconclusive. Robert retreated to the stony sept, recovered, regrouped, and when his allies arrived and consolidated forces, used this new army to win the war.

Relevant Sections – directly on point paragraphs:

A Storm of Swords - Tyrion III

Tyrion had to bite his tongue at that. Robb Stark had won more battles in a year than the Lord of Highgarden had in twenty. ~Tyrell's reputation rested on one indecisive victory over Robert Baratheon at Ashford, in a battle largely won by Lord Tarly's van before the main host had even arrived.~

A Storm of Swords - Davos V

"Edric, you ought not boast," Maester Pylos said. "King Robert suffered defeats like any other man. Lord Tyrell bested him at Ashford, and he lost many a tourney tilt as well."

A Storm of Swords - Samwell V

"Your father is an able soldier," King Stannis said. "He defeated my brother once, at Ashford. Mace Tyrell has been pleased to claim the honors for that victory, but Lord Randyll had decided matters before Tyrell ever found the battlefield. He slew Lord Cafferen with that great Valyrian sword of his and sent his head to Aerys." The king rubbed his jaw with a finger. "You are not the sort of son I would expect such a man to have."

A Dance with Dragons - The Griffin Reborn

~He had lost it all at Stoney Sept, in his arrogance.~
~Robert Baratheon had been hiding somewhere in the town, wounded and alone. Jon Connington had known that, and he had also known that Robert's head upon a spear would have put an end to the rebellion, then and there~. He was young and full of pride. How not? King Aerys had named him Hand and given him an army, and he meant to prove himself worthy of that trust, of Rhaegar's love. He would slay the rebel lord himself and carve a place out for himself in all the histories of the Seven Kingdoms.

Other information gleaned from context

· Tarly did not inflict substantial casualties
· Robert won the battle of the trident within a year – Ashford is 282AC and the trident is 283
· Robert fled to and was sheltered in the stony sept, where Jon Connington failed to flush him out. The battle of the bells occurred in 283AC, as did the battle of the trident shortly after

Analysis

Randyll leads the van some distance ahead of the main force, gets into a battle with the rebels, and inflicts minor to moderate casualties before they escape. Tyrell takes the credit.
From a military point of view, if the battle had not been decided before the main force arrived, the war would have likely ended. A much larger force (with assumedly many more horsemen) would have won the battle both more conclusively, and been able to pursue. By all rights, the strategy enforced by Mace Tyrell should have won the war (this theme will come in later in this theory), but for the fact only a fraction of his army engaged far ahead of the main host.
As an aside and jumping ahead a little – Tarly avoids doing this after the blackwater, closing off escape routes and slaughtering everyone. This hints at the fact that Ashford was a tactical mistake.
The first three viewpoints we receive on the battle are of note.
· Tyrion points out the battle was indecisive, and ~decided before the main host arrived~. He focuses on the victory in ‘battle’ as opposed to war.
· Stannis points out how able Randyll is by defeating his brother once at Ashford. Although unable to ascribe any special military strategy to Randyll, he calls him ‘able’ and decided matters before Tyrell arrived. He also flags that Mace Tyrell claimed the honours for the victory and he thinks this undeserved. It’s interesting as it’s Maces host at Ashford, a host that by all rights should have crushed Roberts army in a single battle – given the van alone defeated him. He also ascribes the only kill of note as lord Cafferen
· Maester Pylos points out that Robert lost battles at Ashford and flags it was Tyrell who bested him.
The battle by all appearances, was a farce. Ashford could have ended the war. Arguably, even with the van alone deciding the fight, it very nearly did. Instead, the battle is determined indecisive, there is no ‘impressive kill and capture list’ indicating the host was not captured or killed (as opposed to routed), and Mace has this massive potentially war-ending host not doing much because Robert is in retreat before it arrives.
Furthermore despite all this, Tarly very nearly won the day at Ashford. Robert suffered a serious – but nonfatal wound that seemingly took months (and at least weeks) to recover. The fact that a seriously wounded Robert was able to escape despite distinctive armour and weaponry raises questions of its own.
Finally, when Robert was wounded and hidden in the aftermath whilst he recovered, narratively it allowed JonCon to lay siege to the stony sept. As a parallel, one of the themes I will later touch on is how Tarly changes after this battle, and we know JonCon swears to kill more and become Tywin 2.0. as a direct result of the events at the sept. We see a similar change in Tarly.
It’s also of note that Tarly and Tyrell at this point were on the Targaryen side. This crops up later when we look into other motivations and goals.
Aftermath
So we know that Robert suffers wounds and is somewhat detached from his host (be it they left him in the stoney sept or he scattered off from the main host). We know this as he ends up wounded in the Stoney Sept. After this, the battle of the bells and all the great victories that ended the war occur.
Notably, Tarly has no major military achievements after this battle. Since Mace Tyrell was invested in the siege of Storms end, it can be presumed Tarly was positioned with the main force. The next time we see him is in the battle of 5 kings –

Discussion with Renly – The Siege of Stannis

  • Renly outright ignores Tarly when he says they'll be charging into the sun. In renlys conversation with stannis he points out how overwhelmingly strong his force is and how it will be heavy horse charging into boiled leather. He's not wrong, if the armies clash, stannis will be crushed and waiting is potentially disastrous, as stannis may not engage or slow the whole process down.

Battle of the Blackwater

A Clash of Kings - Sansa VII

They came up the roseroad and along the riverbank, through all the fields Stannis had burned, the ashes puffing up around their boots and turning all their armor grey, but oh! the banners must have been bright, the golden rose and golden lion and all the others, the Marbrand tree and the Rowan~, Tarly's huntsman~ and Redwyne's grapes and Lady Oakheart's leaf. All the westermen, all the power of Highgarden and Casterly Rock! ~Lord Tywin himself had their right wing~ on the north side of the river, with Randyll Tarly commanding the center and ~Mace Tyrell the left,~ but the vanguard won the fight. They plunged through Stannis like a lance through a pumpkin, every man of them howling like some demon in steel. And do you know who led the vanguard? Do you? Do you? Do you?"

A Storm of Swords - Catelyn II

"I told you to hold Riverrun," said Robb. "What part of that command did you fail to comprehend?"
"When you stopped Lord Tywin on the Red Fork," said the Blackfish, "you delayed him just long enough for riders out of Bitterbridge to reach him with word of what was happening to the east. ~Lord Tywin turned his host at once, joined up with Matthis Rowan and Randyll Tarly~ near the headwaters of the Blackwater, and made a forced march to Tumbler's Falls, ~where he found Mace Tyrell and two of his sons waiting with a huge host and a fleet of barges~. They floated down the river, disembarked half a day's ride from the city, and took Stannis in the rear."

We know tywin likes to put his strength on his flanks and in the reserve

Interestingly, Mace is there too, and it’s a tyrell van this time, not tarly
Lord Tywin himself had their right wing on the north side of the river, with Randyll Tarly commanding the center and Mace Tyrell the left, but the vanguard won the fight. They plunged through Stannis like a lance through a pumpkin, every man of them howling like some demon in steel.
ACOK 62: SANSA VII

Analysis

First the parallels. Mace Tyrell is paralleled to Tywin on the two flanks. It is a tyrell in the van who decides the day. Randyll commands the center.
Logistically, the battle is won by Mace Tyrell (whom I love as a character) with a fleet of barges and a huge host already in position (allowing the army to cross quickly enough to intercept the battle of the blackwater). Also the messenger that draws in Tywin’s host comes from Bitterbridge – Tyrell Lands. Given the van wins the battle, there’s a fair argument that Mace could have won the battle alone, albeit with all the support he wins a crushing victory instead.
So Randyll is relegated to an important, but ultimately ancillary position. Whether the battle is won by Tywin or Mace (and by all logistical accounts, it’s Mace), is another question, but the ‘finest soldier in the seven kingdoms’ is once again, somewhat ineffectual. He still commands the center in such a battle, but he displays no logistical or battle prowess in this fight either, just being a renowned commander in the right place at the right time.

Battle of Duskendale

· Lord Randyll defeats a northern army. The army is mostly foot and misplaced
· This time, few excape – XXXX cuts off the retreat.
· Some theories say he was tipped off by Roose Bolton.
· This time he gets the commander
· Figth occurs in FIELDS AND FARMS. Bad terrain for a retreat. Glover TRAPPED against blackwater bay
· Note that Glover had to be captured lest bolton treachery be revealed. Cannot be allowed to send raven.
· Strong implication of a trap and tipoff

A Storm of Swords - Catelyn IV

When they brought him word of the battle at Duskendale, where Lord Randyll Tarly had shattered Robett Glover and Ser Helman Tallhart, he might have been expected to rage.

A Storm of Swords - Tyrion VIII

But who would be mad enough to contest Joffrey's rule now, after what had befallen Stannis Baratheon and Robb Stark? There was still fighting in the riverlands, but everywhere the coils were tightening. Ser Gregor Clegane had crossed the Trident and seized the ruby ford, then captured Harrenhal almost effortlessly. Seagard had yielded to Black Walder Frey, ~Lord Randyll Tarly held Maidenpool, Duskendale, and the kingsroad.~

A Storm of Swords - Tyrion III

"No," their father said. "With the war. Varys."
The eunuch smiled a silken smile. "I have such delicious tidings for you all, my lords. Yesterday at dawn our ~brave Lord Randyll caught Robett Glover outside Duskendale and trapped him against the sea. Losses were heavy on both sides, but in the end our loyal men prevailed. Ser Helman Tallhart is reported dead, with a thousand others. Robett Glover leads the survivors back toward Harrenhal in bloody disarray, little dreaming he will find valiant Ser Gregor and his stalwarts athwart his path."~

A Storm of Swords - Tyrion I

"Until Lord Redwyne brings his fleet up, we lack the ships to assail Dragonstone. It makes no matter. Stannis Baratheon's sun set on the Blackwater. ~As for Stark, the boy is still in the west, but a large force of northmen under Helman Tallhart and Robett Glover are descending toward Duskendale. I've sent Lord Tarly to meet them, while Ser Gregor drives up the kingsroad to cut off their retreat.~ Tallhart and Glover will be caught between them, with a third of Stark's strength."

A Storm of Swords - Catelyn IV

When they brought him word of the battle at Duskendale, where ~Lord Randyll Tarly had shattered Robett Glover and Ser Helman Tallhart,~ he might have been expected to rage. Instead he'd stared in dumb disbelief and said, "Duskendale, on the narrow sea? Why would they go to Duskendale?" He'd shook his head, bewildered. "A third of my foot, lost for Duskendale?"
"The ironmen have my castle and now the Lannisters hold my brother," Galbart Glover said, in a voice thick with despair. Robett Glover had survived the battle, but had been captured near the kingsroad not long after.

A Feast for Crows - Brienne II

Lord Randyll Tarly had commanded Joffrey's army, made up of westermen and stormlanders and knights from the Reach. Those men of his who had died here had been carried back inside the walls, to rest in heroes' tombs beneath the septs of Duskendale. The northern dead, far more numerous, were buried in a common grave beside the sea. Above the cairn that marked their resting place, the victors had raised a rough-hewn wooden marker. HERE LIE THE WOLVES was all it said. Brienne stopped beside it and said a silent prayer for them, and for Catelyn Stark and her son Robb and all the men who'd died with them as well.



Analysis

Firstly we start with the obvious comparison. Tarly lets Robert escape when Mace otherwise very nearly won the war. Given another chance, Randyll pins his enemy against the sea and plans to not let a man escape. Having somewhat surrounded the opponent on known land, with reinforcements (Clegane) behind him, he still manages to suffer heavy casualties, and the target (XXXX) escapes.
What a colossal mistake. The only good news is he intercepted enough of the force that it seems no ravens got sent off showing exactly what happened, as if one message got back, the whole red wedding could have been undone.
Now prior posts have analyzed duskendale about allowing paths of retreat, and number of losses, but I think there are three key takeaways
1) The stark contrast between this and his tactics at Ashford
2) The fact that he failed to capture the host and Gregor Clegane had to clean up the mess
3) The fact he suffered heavy losses when by all rights he had every advantage (and still failed to capture the army)
Interestingly, the message that gets to Robb is that Tarly shattered glover. The actual message from Varys is only 1000 were killed, with Tallhart. Now its difficult to say how many foot there were, but it’s not unreasonable to assume that 1000 is less than to around half the force. Clegane captures Glover in the aftermath (thankfully), and Robb gets the report that Tarly shattered the force, when in actuality a good chunk of it was Clegane.
As a sidenote- this is indicative that Clegane actually isn’t a bad commander, and in turn this makes the fact that Edmure Tully threw him back more impressive.
We also don’t hear of any captives other than the ones taken by Clegane. It appears Tarly is putting men to the sword (SEE EARLIER).
Now before we get into conspiracy theories, we see Glover in ADWD conspiring with Madderly to help the starks and Stannis, so it seems this was not some cunning scheme where he secretly got himself captured.
Interestingly, the graves Brienne sees seem to indicate a crushing victory for Tarly, like the one described by Robb. This however is at odds with the report of Varys, and the fact Clegane had to mop up the leftover army. Now there are a few possibilities for this. Varys could be wrong/lying, heavy losses is being thrown around as a relative term (but that seems suspect), or the total of Tarly dead and Clegane’s role is being hidden. The last seems the most likely, Robb hears of a crushing defeat led by Tarly not Clegane (which we know is at least partially false), the dead he kills don’t add up, and there’s no mention of Clegane whom definitely did some of the work.
Also even assuming the whole situation is true and Tarly killed men at a 2/1 ratio, this assumes there are 500 heroes tombs under the septs at Duskendale. Simply put, there may not be that many. The whole aftermath stinks of a coverup. Tarly is getting Cleganes credit (and interestingly, it’s around now that Tywin decides not to give Clegane to oberyn).
Finally we get to the tinfoily bit. Helman garrisoned with Walder Frey to make sure he kept peace. Of the two lords, Helman is arguably more problematic, he knows more of Frey habits (when Tywin is scheming a betrayal) and his nephew is a possible hornwood claimant (cough Roose cough). If there was a conspiracy to kill one and ransom the other – I can see a world where Talhart is the one to be killed. In all reality though, this is a bit too ambitious, and in reality one just died and one escaped – without some super scheme that Tarly was involved in.
So in summary – once again Tarly fails his mission. At best, he bloodies an out of position army whilst taking heavy casualties, with his reinforcements on the way, and half the army breaks free (admittedly into Clegane). This is not a great display of prowess. We also know its possible to capture these men as hostages, as Clegane successfully does so – and Tarly fails to once again. Now it’s not catastrophic as the Northerners are bleeding men and trading troops tit for tat is beneficial, but the battle itself (the thing Randyll is in charge of) is highly unimpressive. The strategic victory goes to Tywin, whom in truth entrusts it as much to Gregor Clegane as to Tarly. As it so happens, Clegane delivers and Tarly doesn’t.


A summary as a commander

Talk about failing upwards
· Charging ahead, he is able to turn a crushing win into an indecisive one which ultimately leads to Roberts Rebellion succeeding
· He gives counsel to Renly about the sun when renly knows that the sheer strength of his cavalry makes the issue moot. Renly all but ignores him.
· He doesn’t appear to do much during the battle of the blackwater
· He manages to mess up essentially an ambush at Duskendale despite reinforcements being on the way
· As a result of the 4 above points, he is given, lands, titles, honors and a position on the small council.
Upon actually reviewing his achievements and each individual battle, I’ve 180’d on Tarly. George RR Martin does a great job building him up, and having everyone describe him as a great commander, but actually unpacking his battles, he looks pretty underwhelming. The most important battle he won was Ashford, but that was a strategic catastrophe which otherwise could have potentially let Mace Tyrell win the war. Afterwards he’s carefully managed, with Renly outright dismissing him, Mace keeping the key positions of command in other people’s hands and Tywin going so far as to dispatch a trusted force behind him in the event he fails again – WHICH HE DOES.


Politicks, Loyalties and Conspiracies

There’s a lot to get through so I’m not going to source everything here. Rather, I’ll list dot points, and we will be collecting everything under theories. In time it may be worth sourcing this all, but for now, I want to get something out – so it’ll be shortform
· Historically house is blackfyre
· Renly Sworn NOT STANNIS
· Joined at bitterbridge to Renly
· Shadowbaby and killing others
· VIEWS ON MAESTERS
· Killing Stannis supporters at bitterbridge
· Saving Brienne
· Helping Brienne / Bewilderment
· Views on Women and Strongmen
· Sam, Maesters, the Marches and Strength
· Maidenpool Rulership
· Renown amonst common men
· Downplaying the Golden Company
· Bravosi Debts
· Taking the QUEEN ahead of Mace Tyrell

Theoreis Stemming off Data

The Blackfyre Theory

Let’s assume that Randyll supported the Blackfyres because his house traditionally were Blackfyre Loyalists. This is a little thin on evidence, but quite a few of his actions also support this, lending some credence to the theory
1) He swore to Renly not Stannis.
a. Stannis was 17 or 18 when he held storms end. He is approximately 13 years older than Renly, making Renly 5 at the time. This means that during Roberts Rebellion, for all relevant purposes, Renly was a non-participant, whilst Stannis actively fought against the dragons. If Randyll is a dragon supporter, his repulsion at joining Stannis is apparent.
b. In fact, he goes as far as to kill stannis supporters at bitterbridge to consolidate the reach forces. This is interesting as it contrasts stannis whom takes pains to not kill the karstarks to a man once he realizes their treason.
2) He downplays the golden company
a. At the end of AFWC, Randyll is downplaying the golden company as much as he can. If we assume he is pro-dragon, this gives time for the blackfyre cause to swell, as he delays Kevan Lannister to the best of his ability
3) He hates the Maesters
a. Between the Grand Maester Conspiracy [LINK], lady Dustin’s general hatred of Maesters and Marwyn’s comments about Maesters and Dragons, it seems credible that dragon supporters may have cause to mistrust Maesters. Indeed, we get hints of this from Doran, and a general mistrust of Maesters by some of the lesser lords.
i. "I would need a bucket, with this pain. Thank you, but no. I want my wits about me. I'll have no more need of you tonight."
b. This explains also why he is so determined Sam will not become a Maester and why he drives him to the nights watch. If he is a loyalist, he’s never going to let a member of his family into an enemy order. If Sam is given any sort of free reign in a role other than lord, he’s going to end up a Maester (indeed even at the nights watch he ends up there, despite his protests and fears of his fathers wroth).
4) Do we actually see any trouble in the marches. I don’t think we do and it’s only STANNIS who fears dorne through the marches, not Tarly or Tyrell. In fact, this area is left undefended when they march on the blackwater.
a. I have a sub-theory that despite complaining a lot, we don’t see any real antagonism between Dorne and the reach throughout the series, just some loud complaining that makes us think of antagonism. Oberyn hints at this to Tyrion.
5) Killing Florents
a. Florents have ties to Stannis
b. Florents are Tyrell rivals
c. Florents instantly defect to stannis. Note they were set aside by dragons over highgarden
d. Their protests were denied by King Aegon I, perhaps because the Florents had fought House Targaryen when the Tyrells did not.
e. https://www.reddit.com/asoiaf/comments/3tr6gx/spoilers_all_house_of_the_week_house_florent/
i. Theories florents Green
6) This is of course also consistent with him racing Ahead of Mace Tyrell’s army and having the Tyrell queen taken into his personal custody. Unfortunately, this bodes badly for our lovely doe-eyed Margery. Oh well.
7) ~If it were up to me, I would send them all to the Night's Watch, and Connington with them. The Wall is where such scum belong."~ He’s setting it up so the only legitimate claimant of JonCon’s lands is in fact, JonCon. Obviously a new lord can be appointed, but this suggested move adds legitimacy to the blackfyre cause, removing the heir apparent and putting JonCon back in his ancestral lands without a real challenger.

1) The ‘show of strength / toxic masculinity theory’
a. This theory has to do with Tarly appearing competent millirarily rather than being competent. He doles harsh justice and havy discipline, which in some ways hides his lackluster results as a commander. I should note this is the weakest of the three theories, but it sort of feeds into the other two.
b. This would be indicative of his hatred for Sam. The moment the ‘veil’ of masculinity and strength is lifted, his actual achievements are lackluster
c. After ashford he appears much more brutal than before. We have no indication he was brutal pre Ashford, and post ashford he’s executing enemies, cornering and murdering northmen to a man (as best he can at least) and doling out harsher justice than his peers
d. Every character who speaks of Tarly speaks of his millirary accolades. I think his ‘larger than life’ persona has played at least a part in this, and Tarly looks the part as the veteran commander.
e. I ought to note this theory doesn’t stop Tarly from playing the game of thrones, it just suggests he isn’t an exceptional tactical commander. Logistically, he has always been with the winning side as a vassal, he’s been able to spin every battle to gain honors and accolades, and he has a knack for being in the right place at the right time (declaring for renly early, being in the van at ashford etc.)
f. All that aside, this theory also doesn’t stop Tarly from being a jerk. Given how he acts to Sam and both towards and around Brienne, we are naturally inclined to mislike him as a harsh leader.
2) Not as dumb as he looks theory
a. He’s taken the queen into his personal Custody. We literally heard from Renly back in book 1 – he who holds the XXXX holds the crown. With all the chaos in the recent books, it’s easy to miss, but this is a huge move in the game of thrones. The Tyrells do not have the queen. Tarly does.
b. As far as I can tell, he’s never been at real risk in a battle since Ashford. He had backup and numbers at duskendale, a massive host at the blackwater, The Siege of Storms End was just a great big preservation of army by Mace whilst Roberts rebellion raged, and the Siege on Stannis was totally lopsided but for magic shadow-baby.
c. Dorne does not seem to have acted against him once nor demanded concessions. [CHECK]. For a lord in the Dornish Marches which have been tumultuous for years, this is somewhat of a big deal. He also seems to be unafraid of moving his forced forward – we have no indication he left levies to protect himself from Dorne, hinting that he wasn’t afraid of Dorne misbehaving (even if only to harry border towns, a bit like Bolton grabbing up the hornwood lands).
d. He sucks up to the bravosi Banker when all the debts are being called in. We have this picture of this strong, just, military man, but the banker scene shows he’s not just a sword arm, and he knows when to suck up. This is important as it shows he is at least considering the wider world and the future outside of the battles, as opposed to a certain dwarf whom never actually meets the bankers.
e. He has turned a bunch of mediocre achievements into being renowned as the greatest soldier in the realm. By all rights, Stannis and Robb are much better commanders (with the caveat that Robb was only good tactically). If we want to get nasty, Mace Tyrell has only won crushing victories – with the exception of ashford (messed up by Tarly) and storms end (where he lost no troops in a rebellion that depleted most of the realm).
i. The most competent appearing thing he said was to not charge into the sun, which was largely irrelevant when plated heavy cavalry is charging into boiled leather. As Renly said to Stannis, his force wouldn’t survive first impact, so this whole sun business is a bit silly.
ii. Arguably the most competent thing was executing all the soldiers considering going over to Stannis, but I’m not sure if this is truly competent or just brutality – Stannis did not do the same with the Karstarks in a similar position.
f. He’s bypassed succession laws. By getting rid of Sam he has set himself up with his chosen heir. Look at the thorny knot Tywin tied himself with Tyrion, whom still arguably is the rightful heir to Castelry Rock (which he made full use of with the Second Suns). We know Maesters can be kicked out of the order (see our favourite necromancer), and can be used to play with succession (Aemon is a good example, albeit he said no) and I don’t really see Sam as a priest.
i. There’s actually a good question as to whether he would have killed Sam. The gods hate kinslayers, and the threat sufficed. If we assume tarly isn’t an idiot, he would have realized the threat likely sufficient.
g. Given how he sets himself up at Maidenpool, its hinted that the Maidenpool land is part of his reward for the blackwater. We never hear of exactly ‘what’ Tarly’s reward is, except in the aftermath he’s patrolling Duskendale (still seemingly with house Rykker),, Maidenpool and the kings road, and seems to be setting himself up in Maidenpool for the long haul. In AFFC, Tarly’s heir is married off to Eleanor Mooton (the seeming heiress to maidenpool) and Tommen pardons Moonton. Maidenpool is a major port in the world of Ice and Fire, which would make it a fine reward[[1]](#_ftn1).
1.

Other key takeaways

BRIENNE THING

A Feast for Crows - Brienne III

Randyll Tarly solved the mystery the day he sent two of his men-at-arms to summon her to his pavilion. His young son Dickon had overheard four knights laughing as they saddled up their horses, and had told his lord father what they said.

… "The gods made men to fight, and women to bear children," said Randyll Tarly. "A woman's war is in the birthing bed."
Someone was coming down the cellar steps. Brienne pushed her wine aside as a ragged, scrawny, sharp-faced man with dirty brown hair stepped into the Goose. He gave the Tyroshi sailors a quick look and Brienne a longer one, then went up to the plank. "Wine," he said, "and none o' your horse piss in it, thank'e."

JUSTICE THING


Battle of the Blackwater – a step Sideways



In short
Randyll Tarly is a shrewd Blackfyre loyalist who now has custody of the queen, a position on the small council and whom is not considered a political threat. He’s not half the commander he’s made out to be, probably has anti-maester sentiment and is possibly friendly with Doran Martell. And he has an army.
This has been quite a ride and I’m sure I got many details wrong so let’s end on a high note. Given all this, I expect Randyll to sacrifice Margery and prove ser pounce’s lineage to the age of conquest. Tommen will blindly stamp a document marrying himself to the cat, the white walkers will be appeased (their problem is only humans), and everyone lives happily ever after except for Danerys who dies.
Maidenpool
https://preview.redd.it/4gfx1jxsbd1d1.png?width=217&format=png&auto=webp&s=a6c648fe2853a80f249aeae5546a21b38b4123e9

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2024.05.19 13:04 anonomusfem I’m not sure if I’m making the right choices in life.

I am a 32-year-old gay, chubby, feminine male. I've recently had family trouble: my father has gone missing on the Navajo reservation, which has taken a toll on my family. I was never close with my father due to being the oldest and seeing his alcoholic abuse cause domestic violence against my mother. My brother, the second child, who should have been named Junior but wasn't, worshiped our father and started taking up his career. Now that our father is missing, this sibling has taken up the alcoholic title. Though he may not be abusive, my mother and I think he might turn out to be soon. The baby of the family has had a love-hate relationship with our father. He also loves to blame everyone for his personal issues and bad choices. He has mother issues and is now copying our second brother by drinking every day. Both of them drinking has led to poor financial decisions, putting my mother and me in debt as we try to fix our finances and provide food and keep the house up to date. We rent the house we live in, so if we decide to move, the owner will likely charge us for the accumulated minor damages. I think I am the only one worried about this situation. Our mother is devastated by our father's disappearance. In my mind, they were soulmates and high school sweethearts. She was the cheerleader, and he was the sports jock. They loved each other, but my father's alcoholism was a huge problem, so she raised all three of us mostly on her own. There is evidence suggesting foul play in our father's disappearance, adding another layer of complexity to our family troubles. A bit about me: I struggled with coming out of the closet until I had my first boyfriend in 2011. My mother was very homophobic due to her religious upbringing but eventually learned to accept me. That first relationship only lasted a few months because his mother made a comment about my transportation to his home. At the time, I had no car, so I took the bus. When she asked how I got there, his response was "the bus," to which she said, "The bus? Isn't that for peasants?" This made me uncomfortable and led to our breakup. He was my first and only boyfriend, and I've never dated after him. At a young age, I was molested by a male cousin, which I believe influenced my sexuality and femininity. I have forgiven him and learned to move on with my life without blaming him. I've always wanted a job in Hollywood but have come to realize that's not going to happen. However, I landed the second best thing: working and traveling with Broadway shows. I took my first tour for ten months, back in 2022, came home, and took a season off. On this tour, I grew from my experiences and became an independent adult. I feel like I became the best version of myself. On tour, I had no one but myself, and I became independent. Now that I'm back home, I feel like I have to take care of everyone and make decisions for the long run. I'm not going to lie, I was sleeping with guys left and right and living life. When I came home, I reconnected with two guys: one a young African American guy and the other a Hispanic guy. The African American guy was younger than me, well-endowed, about my height, and very slender. We had known each other for the years I was on tour. He was living alone and had his own place. We were hooking up, and that's it. We connected less during my tour. I then reconnected with the Hispanic guy. He is about my age, shorter than me, and very masculine. He's a gentleman. When we first met, he came to my place. I thought that I had cleaned myself well, but when I pulled out my buttplug, I realized I hadn't. I excused myself and re-douched. He was very understanding and sweet about the whole situation, and I fell in love with his charm. When he left that night, I hoped I didn't scare him off, but he messaged me a few weeks later, this time inviting me to his place. He turned on his fireplace and laid blankets on the floor for us, being tender and romantic. After this encounter, I overthought the situation, building an idealized image of him, which made me sick with worry. He says he owns a company, which is why he doesn't reply quickly, but my social media feeds suggest otherwise. He never checks on me, but the African American guy did from time to time. A few weeks after visiting the Hispanic guy, I messaged the African American guy to see if he wanted to meet up. He told me he had become homeless and was looking for a bed at a homeless shelter. He asked if he could stay with me until he found a bed. Despite being undecided, I agreed. The worst part was that he showed me what a relationship with him could be like: affection, endless cuddles, and companionship. It was everything I wished for in a relationship, but I had to remind myself that I was only helping him temporarily. In this short time, he showed me love and what life could be like with a boyfriend. However, we eventually argued over something small, and he left, leaving me heartbroken. Songs from Ariana Grande's album became my anthems: "We Can't Be Friends," "I Wish I Hated You," and "Imperfect for You." I miss him, but he's too young to forgive me. I still see the Hispanic guy, but I fear I'm building him up to be something he's not. He still takes a while to reply to my messages, and I make excuses for his absence. I hope we'll become something, but I think that's unlikely, which also breaks my heart. A week ago, my siblings and mother and I had a huge argument, all of us under the influence. It started with me telling my mother that I wanted to move out. She, being overbearing, shut down and pushed me away from the idea, using my drunk siblings to turn against me. This brought out the worst in everyone, with all the built-up envy and jealousy coming out. Now, I'm indecisive about my future. Should I take a traveling job and leave my mother alone with my siblings, knowing they're not in the right state of mind? Is the person I'm seeing worth my emotional investment?
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2024.05.19 13:01 morbidwaifu Bird potentially building a nest on our door window bird feeder, what do we do?

Hi, so we live in an apartment (building isn’t tall, average uk build) and have a special bird feeder attached to the window of our balcony door, we get a lot of blue tits, great tits etc and they get the best quality premium food so it’s very busy. This morning when my mom went to refill the feeder we noticed that our local house/tree sparrow has what we assume been building a nest inside the actual feeder cage, We are obviously delighted but worried incase she actually does use it to have her babies. What would you do in this situation? We’re more than happy to accommodate her but with it being a door that & with it being on a bird feeder we would be worried of the safety of her & her future eggs. Thanks
Ps. We are located in the uk, house/tree sparrows aren’t an invasive species over here and are very lovely birds. We know about the rules surrounding nesting season etc.
My mom was thinking of buying a house nesting box in hopes she’d swap homes. Is this a good idea? Thanks
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2024.05.19 12:05 SleipnirRanch Was i abused?

I'm 42m.
I have never had close friends and have no family. I try to think of why i turned out like this. I grew up in a middle class home. My dad made ok money but worked night shift my entire childhood, he rarely spoke to me or did things with me. My mom was a stay at home mom until i was a teenager.
I think most days my parents did not really interact with me except for essential things, so they gave me food and clothes, but doing things with them was very rare, like we went on vacations maybe 3 or 4 times during my childhood. I never learned to ride a bike or to swim. I think i learned to tie my shoes when i was 12, i taught myself. I remember that i did not learn to use the bathroom until i was 3, and that also i taught myself, i didn't understand for a long time when i was at other peoples houses or my cousins houses why they had small toilets for the babies.
I remember specific things that happened that stand out in my mind as being especially bad. There are 3 that i can think of.
When i was like 5 or so, i remember being in my room very cold. I didn't understand at the time, but later i came to understand that our house was very drafty and cold in the winter because we had wooden windows and they should have been painted about once a year, they were not maintained and so did not shut all the way were always cracked open a small amount. Also the furnace did not heat the whole house, it only heated it until the thermostat on the 1st floor reached it's preset point, so the upstairs was usualy 10 or more degrees colder. My mom didn't think that we needed blankets (my sister and me, she is about 4 years older). We had sheets on the bed and that was all. I don't remember if it was my sisters idea, i think it was, we went into the hall closet at night to get more blankets and my mom caught us and yelled at us and made us put them back. She said that the blanket i took was a wedding present and i didn't need it. Years later i remember my sister as a teenager having several arguments with my mom about a comforter that she had bought herself. When i moved out of the house i stole that same blanket that was still folded up in the closet never used. Still have it.
When i was 9 i got very sick. My mom thought i had some kind of flu. I kept throwing up. She did not take me to the doctor. She always said how dumb it was how people took their kids to the doctor all the time just because they were sick. She kept giving me ice cream because she said that was good for throwing up and keeping energy up. I was sick for i think more than a whole week, not sure if it went on for 2 or not. Still didn't take me to a doctor, i kept throwing up. Then one day i collapsed and they called an ambulance. It turned out that i was diabetic and was throwing up because my blood sugar was too high.
Later, i think i was 12 or 13. I developed ingrown toenails. My big toes would bleed and ooze every day. When i came home from school they would be stained with blood and some yellow. My mom would yell at me for this and scold me for not taking better care of my feet. This went on for about 6 months. My mom got a foot bath for me, and told me to soak my feet in warm water and gave me these sharp sticks to try to pry the nail out of the skin, but it didn't work. Eventually she did take me to a doctor who performed the surgery to cut the toenails out.
Other things that i remember, smaller things, were things like i asked to join the boy scouts at one point and my mother told me she didn't have to do that because she had already done that when my sister was in girl scouts, and i asked to learn to ride a bike at one point and my parents told me i was too old to go ride a bike with training wheels so i wasn't allowed. I told my mom at one point that when i grew up i wanted to have a family with lots of kids, and she told me i couldn't have a family because of my diabetes, it was going to be too expensive.
My parents never hit me, or denied me food, and when i got diabetes my mom would always track all of my sugar levels and how much insulin, she still has stacks and stacks of the monthly sheets for tracking everything the doctors office gave us. But i don't remember ever playing with her or my dad, my dad didn't take me to football games, though he went with my grandma all the time, they had season tickets together. My parents never told me i should join anything at school like sports or anything.
The older i get, the more i think of these things, and look at how much i hate my life, and i blame them and get angrier at them, i hate them. They are in their 70's now, they invite me over for dinner, on the weekends sometimes, i hate going over there, when ever they text me asking me to go i yell at my phone and i wish they would both die already.
submitted by SleipnirRanch to offmychest [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 12:00 __The__Void__ Is this caterpillar dangerous to humans?

Is this caterpillar dangerous to humans?
Hi all, I’m camping with a baby in the mountains in Corsica, France. There are a bunch of these caterpillars dangling off of the trees here on silk threads. They’re not in groups and Im pretty sure they’re not oak processionary caterpillars, but we are still a bit nervous their hairs might be irritant to our baby’s airways/skin (no rash or anything so far though). They range in size from about 5mm - 20mm. Could someone identify them for us? Thanks in advance!
submitted by __The__Void__ to insects [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 11:56 Equivalent_Net Coworker having a baby? Baby blanket time!

Coworker having a baby? Baby blanket time!
I love being able to make something for people. And I'm safe in the knowledge one cam never have too many blankets!
submitted by Equivalent_Net to Brochet [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 11:06 Akra22 Starting to get excited about my project!

Starting to get excited about my project!
I am making a baby blanket for my sister-in-law and was starting to get bored of the orange. Now that its starting to go through the color changes im getting so excited again! I think my furbaby approves too :D Just wanted to share ahaha :)
submitted by Akra22 to Brochet [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 10:40 No_Seaworthiness5738 haaaalp 1 yr old and 3 yr old cats not getting along

I have had my kitten for almost a year now and he turned 1 in March. I adopted him when he was 4 months old and I got my resident kitty when he was about 6 weeks old. I was in college when I got my first cat and he was absolutely insane (as all kittens are). He stressed me tf out and I definitely played with him with my fingernails (which I later read is not smart to do) as he now bites me and anyone who comes over to get attention. I have moved many times with my cat and he has lived with other cats that do not particularly like him and has played with small dogs his size. He is half maine coon and is about 15 lbs. Most female cats have not gotten along with him in the past even though he just likes to follow them around and watch them or even boop their nose with his paw out of curiosity and maybe social awkwardness as he was raised in my 1 br apartments.
I recently graduated and had a full time job. I did not feel like I had enough time for him as he is very affectionate and playful. He has always gotten along with other animals and showed a lot of interest in other furry friends. Last summer I had recently moved into my own place after living with my roommate and her 2 female cats and had decided I wanted to get him a friend. I went to the nearest animal shelter just to play with the cats. As soon as I got there the people at the shelter told me about a kitten they wanted me to meet. I told them I didn’t think it would be a good idea and that I didn’t think I had the time for another crazy kitten. Long story short, I fell in love with little him and couldn’t stop looking at the pictures I took of him and picked him up the next day.
When i adopted him they assured me that since my resident cat was so relaxed and the kitten was well socialized I would be fine to introduce them a few hours after I got him settled at my apartment and they’d play all day long and blah blah blah. I got him home, played with him, let him smell my cat under the door and eventually let them into the same room. Immediately my kitten was showing signs of aggression which my resident cat was not even responding to. Most of the time when my kitten is being aggressive (puffy tail, walking sideways, ears back, tail flapping) my resident cat is laying down a few feet away. Also, he was so tiny compared to my cat but eventually they slept together in my bed and on the floor.
My kitten plays rough and I thought since my cat likes to bite me and attack my arms (sometimes he is insanely aggressive and very strong) he would be a perfect wrestle buddy. There have been multiple times where I have had to separate them from rolling around on the ground or one pinning the other to the point where they are screaming. It’s like watching WWE they throw each other and chase each other but it always seems to end with aggression from one of them. My kitten will stalk my cat and chase him up the cat trees, wait for him to get out of the litter box and chase him under the bed, or anytime my cat gets near the couch my kitten will shake his booty and run after my cat until he’s in another room. My cat is very chill and he has distanced himself from me. It was unfair of me to improperly introduce them and allow my kitten to bully my resident cat. I do not want my resident cat to hate me and I want him to be able to cuddle with me without fear of being body slammed. My kitten is very affectionate and sweet and I want to make sure I try everything to make this situation work. After initially separating them, my cat started doing some of the things he used to do again but after letting them spend longer periods of time together, my kitten is doing the same things.
My bf and I have been separating them for a few weeks. We live in an 800 sft apartment and are moving to a space that is twice the size in less than a month. I messed up with the initial introduction and have separated them recently as the issues have gotten worse. I have been feeding them separately and worked them up to feeding with the door open just on different sides where they don’t see one another and only letting them spend time together supervised. We have kept my kitten in the bedroom and bathroom, moving him to the bathroom at night and allowing my cat to be in the bedroom and living room at night. I am unemployed and spending all day at home. Both kittens cry when I leave one room and my kitten has even learned how to jump against the door to open it. I resorted to letting them hang out in the living room, separating their food and water, and separating my kitten when he is aggressive towards my cat. I just read about not free feeding so I will pickup their hard food bowls tomorrow. We also have a spray bottle and have been watching them play and spraying the kitten when he bites or jumps on top of my cat to the point he is trying to flee. We are trying to teach boundaries but my cat will let him bite and swat at him until he screams in pain and just runs away. My cat is a lover not a fighter and my kitten is both.
Lastly, we have urgently been trying to work on these behaviors because we are planning on introducing my bfs dog to our cats when we move. I am confident that my resident cat will get along with her but I am fearful my kitten will not adjust. We are planning on keeping the kitten in a room to himself and my cat in another room. We are getting a baby gate to first introduce her to my cat and eventually face to face meeting. We are planning on starting the reintroduction process over again in the new place for a longer period of time. We are hoping that reintroducing the cats and then my kitten seeing my cat and dog interacting calmly and relax with the aggressive behaviors. I have tried to spend time with them playing separately in their spaces and then playing with them together and half the time leads to the rough playing that stresses my cat out. His dog is laid back but he is unsure how she would react to the kitten biting, scratching, or being rough. I want to give my kitten the best life possible. He is so adorable and has so much energy and love to give. He is smart and understands he is being bad when he’s biting his brother!
If you got this far thank you so much and if you have any advice I would greatly appreciate it!!!
submitted by No_Seaworthiness5738 to CatTraining [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 09:59 createdjustforthis23 19/05/2024

I slept fine, I didn’t fall asleep so nicely. I don’t know why, I felt perfectly adequate all evening and then bam I cry myself to sleep. I don’t know how or why, and I didn’t even cry over anything in particular it was just any and everything. And I just kept crying and crying, like a baby. I had to switch pillows twice because I drenched it, but I got to sleep on my favourite pillow by the time I was almost asleep thankfully. I can be so picky with pillows, another thing mum tends to call me, even to this day - the princess and the pea. Or rather she likens me to her… I can’t entirely say I disagree tbh. I just like things a particular way, not all things, I can be relaxed about plenty, but there are some things I just to be just so. My pillows when I sleep for example, how the dishwasher top rack is stacked etc. Entirely inconsequential things really. But anyway. I didn’t fall asleep so nicely. I woke up feeling better, still a bit sad but nothing I couldn’t ignore.
It’s now 12:58pm and I’ve done next to nothing. I’ve been watching BT, I’m not writing the name of the show because I feel like that might be search heavy at the moment? So I’ve been watching that, I’m midway through the third episode now and there are four out so far. I’ve also painted some of my lil clay things with primer. And that’s about it. I really need to clean and tidy my room but the idea of it… ugh. I don’t want to :(
I’m loving BT so much. I like the stories and characters and stuff, but I mostly love the sets and costumes. They’re just so luxuriously opulent and uggghhhhhhh I want to just stare it all. Sometimes I wish they would clear out the cast and just give us a tour of the rooms and show all the details of the gowns. But like I learned in therapy, beauty is something I value highly, not in a vain way but in the way I utterly adore beautiful things whether it be a stunningly ornate wallpaper, a sparkly bead encrusted gown or even a leaf that is the perfect shade of green. I just love it all and it brings me so much joy, more than I realised now that I’m conscious of this value of mine. But the BT house itself, particularly the drawing room ommmmgggg. The blue? I think it’s called wedgewood blue from memory, with the creamy/white detailing. And all the light streaming through. It’s so dreamy. And it makes me love my blue and white bedroom more. And the gowns!!!!!!! I wish I could roll around in them, they’re so sparkly and detailed and beyond beautiful. Particularly the ones crusted in beading and with the luxurious silks and satins and velvets and taffetas and organza and all of it. And the colours! It’s all so dreamy. I don’t overly love the style of a lot of the gowns, that sort of empire line, mainly because it only looks good on women with fewer curves and a flatter chest, they can look gorrrrrrrgeous in them. But otherwise if you have any kind of cleavage it looks so weird and bleh. I love Penelope so much, she’s always been a favourite character and she honestly deserves the very best. And Colin definitely got a glow up prior to this season. His brown coat is so delicious. I’m beginning to wonder if I should read the series…? I do love a lil historical romance. Anyway I don’t even Penelope and Colin to end up together, I mean Lord Debling is so lovely and Colin is off sleeping with hookers… like? Then again I know I am wrong in how I think and feel about all of this. I know I have expectations ghat are unfair, I mean maybe not for everyone but if I’m nothing special and therefore not enough then can I criticise. This doesn’t make sense. Anyway. Actually nevermind I just watched the fourth episode and I am very much Team Colin. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEH!!!!!!!! But now I have to wait for part two in mid June :(
I’m going to the office tomorrow. I don’t want to. But oh well. I’m going to make a concerted effort to get back in twice a week - I’ve been slack with it and it doesn’t help me become better. Leaving the house more is important, so this shall be one of the ways. I’m also going to get some new sneakers and a walking jacket so I can go for walks more regularly. I’d like to go several times a week, but I’ll work up to that. I love my walks, I love them a lot but I just get filled with every negative emotion when I go for them around my house, to the point I’ll start having tears running down my cheeks or shaky trembly hands - it’s pathetic. I think environment is everything, and purpose. When I walk pups at my parents I don’t feel these things, I’ll be a little anxy but nothing I can’t manage. But here? It’s so hard. It’s so stupid I know. But I love walking, I feel better when I do it regularly, so I shall keep forcing myself to do it until I feel okay about it. I know this is what I have to do, but the way it makes me feel inside… it never feels worth it. To be 20 minutes walk from home and feel on the verge of a panic attack is NOT a good feeling and it only makes my panic worsen. So baby steps. I’ve been considering on and off moving to a different area, I think I would feel more comfortable in other areas, I don’t know why I don’t here but I don’t. But moving elsewhere is no different to running from problems so I will sort it out here.
I broke his little bowl. I didn’t mean to :( I feel kind of upset about it, it’s been two weeks in the making with time to shape, dry, prime and I was doing a final layer of primer pre paint and my stupid finger went through the base. So I guess it would never have been a good present anyway because it broke so easily. But I bought a really pretty coloured paint because I thought he might like it and I just feel upset. I showed him it, idk why, I just messaged him a picture of it now and I already wish I hadn’t. I shouldn’t have even made anything for him in the first place, he’s made it abundantly clear he doesn’t care for homemade things - cards, presents, whatever. If he did like them he would comment on them, and he never does, so maybe it’s a good thing this broke. I just like sharing things with him, like when I draw and I like a tree I’ve drawn I want to show him, except I don’t because I’m utterly rubbish at drawing and it makes me look like a five year old. I at least appreciate his honesty, or transparency rather. It means I can understand what he does and doesn’t like. I just think his likes don’t mesh with my like of making homemade cards and presents. It’s not like I only give him that though. Anyway it doesn’t matter, plus it’s probably better for me to not share things like this given I don’t have any skill or natural talent with it. Just because you enjoy something doesn’t make you good at it.
I don’t feel so great this afternoon, mood wise.
I’ve done the absolute bare minimum with my room, and the bar was set very, very low today. I tidied the floor up a bit, I made my bed, did a lazy tidy of my vanity desk thing.. that’s about it. I’ll do more across the week.
I feel.. detached today. This afternoon, rather. I know I love my family, Andy, puppy… etc. I just can’t feel it. I know it’s all in there, but I feel detached and I can’t reach it. This isn’t unusual, I just always try to describe the feeling and always fail. I think knowing I care but not being able to feel myself care sums it up as well as I’ll ever be able to.
I found a little notebook of my early days of therapy, well with this current one, maybe not that early actually but idk. It was just me writing down who I am. The first is “I am a human” because I had to start with the basics. The last line is “I try my best to be friendly” - I think I will continue with this. No one really comments much on me so I will just write it as things feel write. From memory it was also a way to force myself to speak more kindly to myself, ie I am a woman vs I am a monster. And things like I’m generous, I love animals, I am quiet, I try to be patient, I love romance, I appreciate attention to detail, I like to care for others, I am a homebody, I love reading etc. And then scattered amongst it was some honesty, like I can be a control freak, I am quite particular about some things, I am indecisive, I am sensitive etc. And then next to I am a friend I have a question mark. But I want to continue writing these things, I think it’s helpful when I feel lost in myself to be able to read through a list of things I’ve written and be reminded. That sounds so silly to not know who you are sometimes, but sometimes I just feel so unbelievably lost and unmoored from everything, even myself. So I’ll write all the good things, and the bad. I’ll write things that I like, things that I don’t. I’ll write things I want in my life, things I feel like I should want but don’t, things I shouldn’t want but do etc etc etc. It’ll be a little tiny notebook of everything me. I wonder if sometimes it’s possible for me to get any lamer? Unlikely.
I’ve been thinking about stopping journaling here more and more. I get more out of posting it here, it feels like a release, like I’m letting all the thoughts go which is especially helpful with my negative ones, I don’t know.
It’s 5:23pm. I need to wash and blowdry my hair, as it’s still damp in the morning lately. I need to have something for dinner, I guess. I’ve been struggling with eating lately, I feel so ugly and it makes me not want to eat and then that sets off a bad string of things. I’ll have something little, vegemite toast maybe. I need to pack my bag for tomorrow. And that’s it.
I feel better after a shower and chat with Andy, I still feel not good but he perked me up on the outside. He makes me laugh so much :) It’s kind of weird to think I’ll be living long term in Australia, like I’ve always intended on living there - until my mental health and covid messed things up a little for me timeline wise. But to think I’ll maybe say Australian things…? That I’ll say thongs? And I definitely will because I cave quickly, like I was only in the UK two years and I said crisps and trainers and I still do to this day, which I’m actively trying to stop. I wonder what my accent would sound like after like ten years… I really doubt I’d ever lose my accent. It’s funny how I do probably sound a bit different when talking to him versus my mum. I just talk more softly with him, I naturally do anyway to the point I have people comment semi regularly on how soft spoken I am, but idk, I don’t even mean to speak to him a certain way, I just do? And then he hears me talking to mum and I probably sound like I’m wearing Jandals and stubbies while loading up the ute as I prepare for a tramp in the bush. Christ. I do love being from here though, in theory I would rather we live here than Australia, and never say never… but it makes more sense to be there. I don’t really have anyone here other than my parents whereas he has family and friends and his payments and all of it. I don’t really have any ties here. Anyway.
I get to spend time with him tonight :) Night night
submitted by createdjustforthis23 to u/createdjustforthis23 [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 09:46 inthearmsofdyl Dream Highlights

I had a couple uncomfortable dreams, and was unable to stay asleep. I woke up at every hou40 minutes. If I managed to sleep past 15-20. I was dehydrated as well, because I ate too much flour right before going to bed. My first dream was about being watched.
There was probably a dream before that. After that one, I dreamt about a unveiled claim that billy corgan was molested by his mom. I was with my parents, sitting in the car by myself. A guy walked past who I acted like was serj tankian, even though he looked nothing like him. He had round features and looked almost mexican. Later, I had another dream where I had the awareness that my dreams were important. For a spiritual reason. Some godly, reason.
In the next dream, I was in a strange building with my family members. There was halloween decoanimatronics near the entrance or exit door. It felt like a ride as we slowly approached the walkway. I gracefully did so, probably trying to not look up at the animatronics. It's usually a reaper, constantly. Once we all were getting ready to leave, I carried a handful of things/candy. We walked outside off the porch, and I saw a younger version of my nephew. He took a piece of candy that was mine and ate it. I punched him square in the face. I vaguely remember seeing baby blankets. Before we walked outside. Everyone stood around, including my nephew at his current age. He was only a toddler. Around this time, we were in a room with some old ladies and boomers. Astrology was relevant for some reason, since I brought it up, likely. 'Leos are excessive, aries are misjudged as mean, and sags are suspicious and paranoid. About the people around them, their friends. About the world..' I paused before describing Sagittarius, feeling uneasy around the old lady who was listening to me. My mom stood at my side, probably bored or indifferent. Just like the lady seemed. She was a bitch; I could feel how much she appeared indifferent towards me. She must've been a sagittarius.
In the other side of the room, I was looking at a packet of paper that was laid in the filing drawer. It talked about the different eras of victorian houses. I saw it mentioned, 'fake doors' under victorian. That would make my house victorian, maybe. It's from the early 1900s, so just barely is it real victorian. I do not have fake doors in my house at all. I was picturing the banister on my stairs that doesn't have a lid that detaches. It's molded into the classic shape. A old lady walked over to me, pushing the filing cabinet away. Bitch, I was reading that.
At home, I went up into my bedroom. Cats were sleeping in it. A black kitten looked up at me, precious, as I tossed a cord across the floor, behind/above him. It was a cord with a plastic kitten arm on the end, like it was supposed to go to a handheld device. I thought of a gameplay controller that you plug into the tv. But it was too thin and obviously made to inject into something else. It had been laying on another kitten.
I took notice of a spider that was crawling on my bookshelf. It was white and pregnant. On one of my books, there was a spider sack on it. It was little. I don't know what happened to I assume was a second spider sack. A book with a white cover got my attention, because black specks ran over every inch of it. My little brothers had came into the room, before the infestation happened. Behind me was a rubber tub full of stuff with fabric on the top. My cats were sleeping on it. I saw my siamese in the room as well, looking at me. I woke up, itchy and scared. I hate this dream, and I also happen to hate spiders. Obviously, I have someone fake in my life. A domineering female/mother figure. Since it was both cats and spiders.
submitted by inthearmsofdyl to Dreams [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 09:43 sometypeofway197 Advice on co sleeping comfort.

My baby is nearly 11 weeks old and I’m a single mum so co sleeping is definitely what I want to do I love it so much. I co slept with my first too but I’m finding myself more aware of risks this time around. Basically I cuddle curl around my baby and I have myself one pillow which my arm is under and I’m right on the edge of it. Baby is closest to my breasts as we breastfeed. On his side there’s no pillows or anything. Just his blanket which I keep low so he can’t wiggle down. I have my blanket up to the top of my legs pretty much.
The problem is I’m so cold and my body is aching from the one pillow. With my first I did the same but I had two pillows but as I said I’m more aware of risks now than I was before. I use an owlet which helps me so much though co sleeping. I feel like I can’t wear an oodie to bed to keep myself warm because my shirt is pretty much constantly lifted as my baby seems to most comfortable being on my skin. What’s everyone else doing?
submitted by sometypeofway197 to cosleeping [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 09:33 Putrid_Part6328 I just found out my parents are cousins.

I am 18 and a few months I did an ancestry DNA test to see if my dad was my father. It came back and he was 100% my father I was relieved and decided to play around in the app. When I found the family tree, I wasn't too interested my dad had done his a few years ago and got really into building his family tree so I thought I had heard all the shocking secrets and surprise family members. It took my dad a while to realize what I had done and when he did, we had a long talk about how he would have loved me no matter what it said, and I told him the same. a few days later he sat me down for a serious talk about my biological mother someone we hadn't spoken to or about in years. Thats when he told me my mother is legally my aunt my father's first cousin. he told me his aunt was not biologically related to my family she was illegally adopted as a baby. He also told me my biological mother wasn't even her kid her husband got a 15yo pregnant while in a war and she signed the birth certificate as the mom. So, on paper they are blood relatives. They grew up together and I don't know when they found out they weren't related by blood, but I do know they never planned to get married or have kids together my dad said that the only reason anything went anywhere is because they got drunk and made my brother. My dad decided to do what he thought he had to get married to a woman he had no romantic feelings for and have more kids. I don't know how to process this, and I don't know who to talk to about it. I have no clue who knows about this, and it doesn't make any sense for 18 years I thought that both sides of my family were horrible but it's all the same side. At least now I know why my dad always told us to just leave our biological mother off our family trees in elementary school.
submitted by Putrid_Part6328 to TrueOffMyChest [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 09:03 Mysterious-Variety28 I adopted a kitten and all he does is sleep

I just got him about 12 hours ago so it might be normal but he hasn’t done anything except for sleep. He cuddles and purrs and he’s been super friendly but the best way I can describe him is that he’s like a wet blanket. He hasn’t done anything at all. He grabbed a toy for about 1.5 minutes today. He’s walked around a little bit as well but seriously he’s slept all but maybe 20 minutes max. My other 8 week old cat smacked him and he did nothing. He stayed asleep. I just rescued him so I’m a little concerned. My other 8 week old cat was bottle raised so I got him to be her friend and she’s hyper and crazy (she was my first cat) is this normal?? He lets me hold him like a baby and when he’s sleeping you can move his head and legs and he doesn’t wake up. I’m just worried.
submitted by Mysterious-Variety28 to CatAdvice [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 08:48 Significant-Tower146 Best Car Window Shades

Best Car Window Shades

https://preview.redd.it/ekwhzb04yb1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fb7613e33998f25cb9a4781cd4710885b2844dac
Welcome to our guide on the best car window shades to keep the sun at bay and protect you and your family from harmful UV rays during your journeys. Discover the latest trends and designs in car window shades that cater to various vehicle models, including sedans and SUVs. Dive into the article to find the perfect fit for your ride, ensuring a comfortable and safe driving experience for all.

The Top 11 Best Car Window Shades

  1. SafeFit Safetemp Car Window Shades (2-Pack) - Keep babies safe and cool with SafeFit SafeTemp Car Sun Shades, which provide optimal shade and an innovative White Hot system to prevent overheating, making them perfect for naptime rides and sun protection.
  2. Fashionable Palm Tree Windshield Sun Shade for Cars, SUVs, and Trucks - Experience a pleasant driving journey with the Auto Drive 2 Count Palm Tree Sunset Universal Twist Sun Shade, a fashionable and efficient solution to protect your car's interior from heat and UV damage.
  3. 2019 Ford F-150 SuperCab Full Vehicle TechShade - WeatherTech TechShade Full Vehicle Kits protect your entire vehicle from sun damage while reducing interior temperatures, including custom-fit, foam core pieces for easy handling and a sturdy fit, and a roll up and store strap for convenience.
  4. Car Sunshade for Style and Protection - Stylishly protect your vehicle from the sun with the Genuine Dickies Classic Retro Sport Universal Accordion Auto Sunshade, offering up to 44 degrees of cooling and UV protection, while boasting a sleek design and compatibility with most vehicles.
  5. Brica Stretch-to-Fit Sun Shade for Cars - Experience a comfortable and protected ride with Brica's Stretch to Fit Sun Shade, designed to efficiently block harmful UV rays and customized to fit large windows in SUVs, trucks, and minivans.
  6. Durable Car Sunshade Umbrella for Protecting and Cooling - Discover the Jasvic Car Windshield Sun Shade Umbrella, a sturdy and foldable solution for heat insulation, UV block, and overall protection of your car and yourself in every season.
  7. WeatherTech TechShade Full Vehicle Kit for 2019 Ford F-150 SuperCab (Silver & Black) - The WeatherTech TS0034K1 TechShade Full Vehicle Kit helps keep your vehicle's interior cooler and protects it from sun damage with custom-fit shades that provide a snug fit in each window opening.
  8. TechShade Windshield Sun Shade for 2019 Chevrolet Colorado Crew Cab - WeatherTech TS0908K2 TechShade: Full Vehicle Kit for custom sun protection with dual-purpose heating/cooling benefits to maintain optimal interior temperatures.
  9. Easy-to-Apply Twirl Motion Car Window Sun Shade Shield - Introducing the versatile TFY Car Window Sun Shade Protector, effortlessly blocking glare, heat, and sunlight while allowing great visibility. Its lightweight design and easy installation make it perfect for front or rear door windows.
  10. Sock-Style Car Window Shade for Sun Protection and Privacy - Experience superior UV protection and enhanced comfort with Magnelex Sock-Style Car Shades, designed to fit snugly and securely onto rear car doors, effectively shielding passengers and pets from the sun's rays.
  11. Stylish modern hide a bed chair - Ovege's UV-protective, privacy-enhancing car window shades provide a comfortable, interior-aged prevention solution with magnetic installation for added convenience and flexibility.
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Reviews

🔗SafeFit Safetemp Car Window Shades (2-Pack)


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I recently had the opportunity to use the SafeFit Safetemp Car Sun Shades, and I can confidently say that they've been a game-changer when it comes to driving with my little one. As a mom who's always on the go, I'm constantly looking for ways to keep my baby comfortable and protected in the car, and these sun shades do just that.
One of my favorite features is the easy one-push retract button. It allows me to quickly roll up the shades when we're not using them, which is perfect for those days when the sun decides to disappear mid-afternoon. Additionally, the patented White Hot system that turns white when it's too hot in the car is a brilliant safety feature that gives me peace of mind.
However, there are a couple of drawbacks to consider. Some users mentioned that these sun shades are not 100% sun-blocking, and they don't fit full width of certain car windows. Nonetheless, I still find them to be a valuable addition to my car, especially when it's hot outside and I need to protect my baby's skin and eyes from the sun's harmful rays.
In conclusion, the SafeFit Safetemp Car Sun Shades are a must-have for any parent looking to keep their little one safe and comfortable while on the road. Despite a few minor cons, the overall experience with these sun shades has been positive, and I would highly recommend them to fellow parents.

🔗Fashionable Palm Tree Windshield Sun Shade for Cars, SUVs, and Trucks


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The Auto Drive 2 Count Palm Tree Sunset Universal Twist Sun Shade has been a game-changer in keeping my cars cool and comfy, especially during the scorching summer months. As someone who loves the outdoors and spends a lot of time in the car, I can confidently say this product has made a world of difference.
The vibrant tropical print is not only visually appealing but also offers effective protection against UV rays, ensuring my car's interior stays damage-free. Another standout feature is the twist shape which allows for easy storage, fitting perfectly in the trunk or backseat.
However, there's one issue that I noticed with this product. It doesn't fit every car perfectly due to its universal size. While it works great for my SUV and other larger vehicles, it doesn't cover the entire windshield in smaller cars like the Ford Focus.
Despite this minor inconvenience, I would highly recommend the Auto Drive 2 Count Palm Tree Sunset Universal Twist Sun Shade to anyone looking to keep their vehicle cool and comfortable during the hot summer months.

🔗2019 Ford F-150 SuperCab Full Vehicle TechShade


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I recently got the WeatherTech TechShade Full Vehicle Kit for my car, and I must say, it's truly a game-changer. Living in a hot climate, keeping my car cool has always been a challenge. But with these shades, it's become a lot easier.
Firstly, the shades are custom-fit, which means they perfectly match the dimensions of my vehicle's windows. This feature is particularly useful because it ensures that no sunlight can sneak in through any gaps.
The shades also stay snug in each window opening, which is a testament to their quality. And when I need to use the car, I can easily roll them up and store them using the convenient hook and loop strap.
Another aspect I appreciate is the foam core feature. It makes the shades easy to handle and gives them a sturdy fit. Plus, it prevents them from rattling when the car is in motion.
However, there is one drawback. The shades are quite bulky when rolled up, which can be an issue if you don't have much storage space. But overall, I'm extremely satisfied with my purchase. It's definitely worth the investment, especially if you live in a hot climate like me.

🔗Car Sunshade for Style and Protection


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I recently got the Genuine Dickies Classic Accordion Universal Black Sport Sunshade, and I have to say it's been a game-changer for my vehicle. Not only does it protect my car interior from harmful UV rays, but it also helps keep my vehicle surface temperature 44’F/25’C cooler on those hot summer days.
One of the things that really stood out to me about this sunshade is its retro design. The black sun-deflecting background with black vegan leather accents and white stitching give it a classic, yet sporty look. It's definitely a step up from the flimsy sunshades I've used in the past.
The sunshade is made of high-quality materials and has a sturdy construction. It unfolds easily and secures in place by your windshield visors. What's really convenient is that it comes with its own closure strap, making storage a breeze.
However, it's worth noting that the sunshade may not fit perfectly in all types of vehicles. As mentioned in some reviews, it might be too large for some cars or SUVs. Therefore, it's crucial to measure your windshield before purchasing to ensure the best fit.
Overall, I'm highly impressed with the Genuine Dickies Classic Accordion Universal Black Sport Sunshade. It's well-constructed, looks great, and offers excellent protection against the sun's rays. While it may not be a perfect fit for every vehicle, it's definitely worth considering if you're in the market for a sunshade.

🔗Brica Stretch-to-Fit Sun Shade for Cars


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Stay protected from glare with the Brica Stretch to Fit Sun Shade, a top-notch travel companion for your car. The Safe-View Mesh feature ensures that your view is unobstructed while keeping harmful UV-A and UV-B rays at bay. It's designed with new and improved suction cup attachments that provide a secure grip on any car window.
One feature that really wins me over is its ability to stretch up to nearly double the size, fitting perfectly on any side or rear car window. Plus, it comes with snaps along the perimeter that help in tailoring the shade to any window shape and size.
The material used in this sunshade is premium, keeping it durable and functional for long car rides, especially with little ones in tow. Its visual appeal complements the interiors of your vehicle while offering superior sun protection.
I would highly recommend this sunshade, especially for families with large windows in their cars such as SUVs, trucks, and minivans. It's great for those who want to keep the sun off while still maintaining a clear view from the car. However, do ensure to clean the window thoroughly before installation for maximum grip.
In my experience, one minor issue was the need to readjust the suction cups occasionally, but this was easily manageable. Overall, the Brica Stretch to Fit Sun Shade has been a reliable and efficient addition to my car, providing a comfortable ride for all my passengers.
Considering both pros and cons, this sunshade is definitely worth a try, especially if you prioritize safety and comfort on long car journeys.

🔗Durable Car Sunshade Umbrella for Protecting and Cooling


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I recently purchased Jasvic's Car Windshield Sun Shade Umbrella to protect my car from the harsh summer heat. This umbrella-shaped sunshade folds up like an umbrella, making it incredibly convenient to store in my car. I was a bit hesitant about using this design initially, being more familiar with the traditional folding shades, but its compactness and ease of installation quickly won me over.
The sturdy high-hardness steel frame adds a strong sense of durability to the sunshade, providing protection against UV rays, heat, snow, and fog. This ensures that my car remains safe and undamaged throughout the changing seasons. I also appreciate how it creates a comfortable, cool driving environment while also shielding my car's electronics and seats from sun damage.
Unfolding the sunshade and fitting it into the windshield is a breeze. However, I did learn the hard way that proper maneuvering is necessary to prevent scratches on my car's dashboard. Overall, this product stands out for its durability, versatility, and convenience, making it a must-have for anyone looking to protect their car and enhance their driving experience.

🔗WeatherTech TechShade Full Vehicle Kit for 2019 Ford F-150 SuperCab (Silver & Black)


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I recently got my hands on the WeatherTech TechShade Full Vehicle Kit, and I must say, it's been a game-changer for my sun protection needs. The highlight of this product is its ability to keep the entire vehicle cooler by blocking out the sun's rays.
Before I installed these, I used to dread getting into my car on a hot day. The interior would be sweltering, and it took ages for the air conditioning to cool everything down. But with the TechShade Full Vehicle Kit, my car stays significantly cooler. In fact, it feels much more bearable to get in and out of my vehicle now.
Another feature that I absolutely love about this product is how custom-fit it is. When properly installed, each piece fits snugly in the window openings of my vehicle. This ensures that no light or heat is seeping in from the sides, which is exactly what I wanted.
However, there is one part of the installation process that could use some improvement. The front windshield piece tends to sag a little, especially if you have a tinted windshield. Thankfully, this isn't a deal-breaker for me, but it would be nice to see this aspect of the design refined in future models.
Overall, I am extremely satisfied with my purchase of the WeatherTech TechShade Full Vehicle Kit. It's definitely worth the investment if you want to keep your vehicle cool and protected from the harmful effects of the sun.

🔗TechShade Windshield Sun Shade for 2019 Chevrolet Colorado Crew Cab


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The TechShade Full Vehicle Kit has been a game-changer for me during those sweltering summer days and chilly winters. I love how this custom-fit sunshade can be easily installed on my windshield and windows, keeping my car's interior cool and protected from the harsh sun. The dual-purpose design of the TechShade really stands out - it absorbs heat in the winter to help keep my car warm and defrost the windshield, while also reflecting sunlight in the summer to prevent my steering wheel and dashboard from getting scalding hot.
One particular highlight of this product is its effortless storage. When it's not in use, I can simply roll up the shades and secure them with a strap. The only downside I've encountered is that the full vehicle kit is limited to select vehicles, which might be disappointing for some users.
Overall, I have had a great experience with the WeatherTech TechShade Full Vehicle Kit. It's a little pricey, but it's definitely worth the investment for the quality, convenience, and protection it provides for my vehicle.

🔗Easy-to-Apply Twirl Motion Car Window Sun Shade Shield


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As an avid car user, I've always struggled with the harsh midday sun blaring into my car's windows, making it unbearable to drive. That was until I discovered the TFY Car Window Sun Shade Protector Shine Blocker. This little gadget is a game-changer, as it effortlessly blocks glare, heat, and damaging sunlight from infiltrating my car doors' side windows. The best part? It's as easy as twirling to fold or unfold it when needed!
The lightweight design is perfect for use on both front and rear door windows, without compromising visibility. I never imagined that a mesh fabric can do such wonders for allowing a clear view of the outside world while keeping the sun's harmful rays away.
However, the size of these sunshades can be inconsistent, as some might find them too small, especially for larger vehicles. Another minor issue is that the silicone surface cups can occasionally lose their grip, particularly during humid days.
All in all, the TFY Car Window Sun Shade Protector Shine Blocker is a must-have for anyone experiencing the same sun-related issues as I did. Its unique features and relatively affordable price make it an attractive choice for car owners seeking a convenient solution to combat the sun's unwelcome intrusion.

🔗Sock-Style Car Window Shade for Sun Protection and Privacy


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As a busy mom, I've always been in search of products that could keep my babies comfortably in the car while driving during the hot summer days. When I came across Magnelex Sock-Style Car Window Shades, I was excited to try it out.
This product is incredibly easy to use. The elasticized band stretches to fit over your car door, which completely blocks UV rays from entering the car, ensuring my little ones stay cool and comfortable. The mesh is so fine, I can still enjoy fresh air and a view of the outside without worrying about the sun burning my baby's sensitive skin.
However, one thing that could have been better is the size. It's always a guessing game when shopping online, and though I measured my car door accurately, there's still a tiny bit of it left out. But, given that it's designed universally to fit most passenger cars, trucks, and SUVs, it's a small inconvenience for the otherwise excellent sun protection it provides.
In terms of installation, I love how there are no adhesives or suction cups involved. The shades just slip over the car doors, and all it takes is a simple pull to remove them. So, while changing cars or wanting to let the sun in, it's really hassle-free.
Overall, the Magnelex Sock-Style Car Window Shades have made my car rides much safer and more comfortable for my babies. It's a must-have product for families with infants or pets!

🔗Stylish modern hide a bed chair


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As a parent, I understand the importance of a comfortable car ride, especially with young, sensitive eyes. That's why I decided to give the Ovege Car Window Shade a try. It promised to protect my baby's eyes from the harsh sun rays and give us much-needed privacy while we're on the road.
I was truly impressed by how easy it was to install these shades using the suction magnets provided. However, I did notice they didn't fit perfectly on our car doors, leaving a few gaps. But overall, the shades provided great UV protection and helped maintain a cooler temperature in the car on hot days.
A pleasant surprise was the "limo effect" these shades created when we rolled down the windows. Air could still flow freely without exposing us to the sun, making the ride more enjoyable.
I must admit, I didn't need to worry about the fit every time I removed and reattached the shades. The strong suction magnets held them in place, and my windows were left unscratched.
The one downside I experienced was that the shades didn't cover all the areas of our car windows. This left us with a few spots that let in sunlight. Nevertheless, we found a workaround by adjusting the placement of the shades.
In conclusion, the Ovege Car Window Shade has made a significant difference in our car rides, providing us with privacy, UV protection, and a more comfortable driving experience. The pros of this product definitely outweigh the cons, making it a worthwhile addition for any car owner.

Buyer's Guide

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None

FAQ


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What are the benefits of using car window shades?

Car window shades offer several benefits, including reducing glare and heat inside the vehicle, protecting passengers from harmful UV rays, enhancing privacy, and adding a decorative touch to your car's interior.

What types of car window shades are available?


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There are various types of car window shades, such as suction cup shades, adhesive-based shades, roller shades, and pop-up shades. Suction cup shades attach directly to the car window, while adhesive-based shades attach with adhesive. Roller shades and pop-up shades are mounted on a rod or wire, allowing them to be pulled up and down manually.

How do I choose the right car window shade for my vehicle?

When selecting a car window shade, consider factors such as the size of your car windows, the type of shade that fits your vehicle's design, and the amount of sun protection you require. Additionally, think about whether you prefer a shade that can be easily removed or one that stays in place more permanently.

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How do I install car window shades?

Installation methods vary depending on the type of shade you choose. Suction cup shades typically attach directly to the car window, while adhesive-based shades use an adhesive strip to adhere to the window. Roller and pop-up shades come with a mounting kit that allows you to attach the shade to the window using screws or clips.

Are there car window shades suitable for rear-facing car seats?

Yes, some car window shades are specifically designed to accommodate rear-facing car seats. These shades typically have adjustable mounts, allowing you to position the shade securely above the car seat without obstructing the driver's view.

How do I clean and maintain my car window shades?

Cleaning and maintaining your car window shades is essential to ensuring they last long and continue to protect your vehicle. To clean, simply use a damp cloth or mild soap to wipe down the shade. Avoid using harsh chemicals or abrasive materials that may damage the shade. For maintenance, periodically inspect the shade for signs of wear or damage, and replace it if necessary.

Can I install car window shades on all car windows?

While car window shades can be installed on most car windows, there are some limitations to consider. Some states have laws that require at least one side window to remain unobstructed, so you may need to leave one window without a shade. Additionally, some window shades may not fit properly on certain car models, so be sure to verify compatibility before making a purchase.

How much do car window shades typically cost?

The cost of car window shades can vary depending on factors such as the type of shade, the brand, and the size. Generally, suction cup shades and adhesive-based shades tend to be more affordable, while roller and pop-up shades may be priced higher. Prices can range from around $10 to $50 or more, depending on the features and quality of the shade.
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submitted by Significant-Tower146 to u/Significant-Tower146 [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 08:37 Sorsha_OBrien Do these family mods exist? 6 little mods I want in the game

Mod to adopt people younger than yourself:
Mod to rename people/ babies without having to resort to character editor
Mod to keep track of stillborn babies [correct me if I'm wrong on this]
Mod to make it so surrogate mothers, when/ if they give birth to a stillborn baby, also get the 'stillborn' moodlet
Mod to transfer pregnancies/ fetuses:
Mod to make colonists give blood regularly [is this already a thing?]
submitted by Sorsha_OBrien to RimWorld [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 08:24 kuzizuk cat changed personalities when getting new kitten and acne

so my cat (male, 3.5 years old) has had a completely change of personality as of late. he used to suckle on his kitten blanket which may be weird to some but i found it very cute (especially since it was only on his special blanket) and he would always want a lot of love and pets during this time. he would also sleep right next to me every single night for the past 2.5 years i’ve had him. we just got a kitten around two and a half months ago and at first he was acting normal, but now is acting cold and distant. he sleeps in random places (rarely in bed with me), has stopped suckling, and doesn’t have much interest in play. we also had a plastic water fountain that we recently replaced since it was giving him some decently bad acne. we have wipes to treat this now, but the cold and distant behavior is still the same. i give the new kitten quite a bit of attention, but i make a conscious effort to give him about the same amount as he will let me. he’s always been kind of a sour patch kid kind of cat, sometimes will lash out but got really cute and cuddly around bed time. i also know our new kitten loves to play with him and maybe takes it a bit far at times cause my resident cat isn’t that interested in playing with him. at the end of the day i’m just curious if this is normal or something i need to be more concerned about. additionally, i want to know if i will ever get my baby back acting the way he used to 😭😭😭
submitted by kuzizuk to felinebehavior [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 08:06 Mantis_Shrimp47 The monster in the sand dunes turned my brother into a bird

"You gotta know that there's an art to it, Ezra," Hitch said, cutting another piece of duct tape.
The sleeves of his weather-beaten coat were shoved all the way up his arms, to stop the fabric from falling over his knuckles while he was working, and goosebumps lined his skin. He was strapping a rubber chicken to the back of his truck, over the lens of the shattered backup camera, with the legs pointing down so that they hung a couple inches above the ground. There were dents in the hood from the crash last week, and scratches along the door from scraping into a curb. The chicken, hopefully, would keep him from breaking anything else.
"You can't go cheap," Hitch said. "The cheap rubber chickens only make noise when pressure lets go. That's no good. As soon as I back up into something, I want this chicken to be screaming like it’s in the depths of hell."
“Sure thing,” I said in a monotone, leaning against the side of the truck.
There were scrambled electronic parts piled in the back of the truck, the innards of a radio, a broken computer, tangled wires, a couple loose pairs of earbuds. He found the parts in alleyways or bummed them off his friends for a couple bucks or stole them from the vacation homes that were left empty for most of the year. Then he sold them for a profit at the scrapyard. Hitch had bounced between minimum-wage jobs for a while after high school, spending a couple months as a bagger at the grocery store or as a seasonal worker at the farm two hours down the highway. He'd never stuck with it. At the very least, the scrapyard got him enough money to eat and occasionally spend a night in a motel when he got tired of sleeping in his car.
Hitch pressed the last piece of tape in place and grinned up at me. "I've got something for you, duck."
The nickname came from when I’d broken my leg as a child and waddled around in a cast until it was healed. I hated it with a burning passion, and I glared at Hitch with the ease of twenty-one years of practice. He had a duck tattoo at the base of his thumb that he’d gotten in a back-alley shop as a teenager. He said that he’d gotten it to remind him of me, and the fact that I hated the nickname was just a bonus. It was shaky-lined, with an uneven face, but he loved it anyway.
The handle stuck when Hitch tried to open the door, a consequence of the rust collecting in the crevices of the car and running down the sides like blood from a cut. The car groaned when the door finally popped open, a metal against metal screech that had me flinching away. Hitch dug through the cluttered fast food containers in the passenger-side footwell, eventually coming up with a crinkly paper bag. He waved away the flies buzzing around the opening of the bag and held it out to me.
The last time Hitch had brought me food, I’d gotten food poisoning because he’d left it out in the midday sun for two days. The donut was squished slightly, and the icing was stuck to the bag. I still ate it, grimacing at the harsh citrus flavor. Taking Hitch’s food was an instinct engraved from the days when Dad had given us a can of kidney beans for dinner and Hitch had drank the juice, leaving the beans for me.
I rarely went hungry anymore, three mostly square meals a day and granola in my pockets just in case, but habits didn’t die easy.
These days, Hitch only brought me food when he wanted my help, like when he saw a place he wanted to hit but was worried about doing it alone.
I got in the car, like I always did.
We drove past the cluster of seafood-themed restaurants with chipped paint decks, the beachfront park where there were always shifty-eyed men sitting under the slide, the single room library where all the books had been water damaged in the flood last year. The change was quick as we drove across Main Street, heading closer to the beach. The roads were freshly paved, the concrete a smooth black except where the sun had already started to pick away at it. The three-story homes lining the sides of the street were crouched on elegant stilts, with space underneath for a car or three. Most of the garages were empty, with the lights off and curtains drawn in the house. Come summer, the streets would be swarming with tourists and vacationers, but until then, most of the buildings nearest to the beach were unoccupied.
Hitch stopped as the sun started to go down at a house that was leaning precariously out towards the beach, tilted ever so slightly, the edge of its foundation buried in the shifting sand of the beach. It certainly looked deserted, with an overgrown yard and blue paint peeling off the door in sheets.
Hitch took his hammer out of the backseat, hoisting it over his shoulder. It was two feet of solid metal with rags wrapped around the head to muffle the sound of the hits. Hitch squared up, bending his knees and holding the hammer like a baseball bat. Before he could swing, though, the door creaked open on its own, the hinges squeaking. The house beyond was dark enough that I could only make out general shapes, glimpsing the curve of a sofa to the left, what was maybe the shimmer of a chandelier on the other side.
Hitch lowered his hammer, looking vaguely disappointed that he didn’t get to use it. “That’s…weird as hell.”
“Maybe the deadbolt broke, maybe they forgot to lock it, it doesn’t matter,” I hissed, checking our surroundings for other people again. “Just hurry up and get inside before someone calls the cops.”
Hitch flicked the lightswitch on the wall, and the lights flickered on. They were dim, buzzing audibly and blinking off occasionally. The walls were plastered with contrasting swatches of wallpaper and splattered with random colors. There was neon orange behind the dining table, a galaxy swirl in the kitchen, and on the ceiling there was a repeating floral pattern covered in nametag stickers. Each of the stickers was filled out with The Erlking. Chandeliers hung in every room, three or four for each, and rubber ducks sat on every table. A miniature carousel sat in the corner along with a towering model rocket.
Sand was heaped on every surface, at least a couple inches everywhere. It was piled in the corners and stuck to the walls, and it covered the floor in a thick blanket. Our hesitant steps into the house left footprints clearly outlined in the sand.
Hitch took a cursory look around and headed immediately for the TV mounted on the wall. “Look out the windows and tell me if anyone is coming.”
I shook the sand out of the blinds and pulled them open, then had to brush sand off of the window before I could see anything.
Hitch was quick, practiced at finding and appropriating the things that were worth taking. He came back to me with an armful of electronics and chandeliers, dumping it at my feet before turning to head deeper into the house again.
There was a thump, somewhere upstairs, and then footsteps, slow and deliberate. Hitch froze at the threshold of the room, then ran for the door with me just ahead of him, sand flying out from under our feet.
My hand was almost brushing the doorknob, close enough that I could see the light from the streetlamp outside streaming in through the cracks in the door. My fingers touched the wood and it gave under my touch, becoming malleable and warm. I yelped, stumbling backwards, and the door started to melt. The paint ran down in thick drops, pooling at the bottom of the door, and the wood warped like metal being welded. The soft edges of the door ran into the walls until there was no sign of an exit ever being there.
“Well, well, well,” said a cultured voice with just an edge of snooty elitism. “What do we have here?”
The man was well over eight feet tall, with long black hair covering his eyes. He was wearing a yellow raincoat with holes cut out of the hood to accommodate the deer antlers jutting upwards from his head. There was sand settled on his shoulders and hovering around his head like a halo.
“Who the fuck are you?” Hitch said, inching towards a window.
He smiled, just a little bit, and his teeth shone in the dim light. “I am the Erlking.”
Hitch nodded, and seemed about to respond. I grabbed him by the hand and pulled him towards the window. I could feel sand in the wind roaring against my back as the Erlking growled in anger, the grains scraping harshly against my cheeks.
We were almost to the window when Hitch was ripped away from me, and I came to a startled halt. The sand had formed long grasping arms that pressed Hitch against the floral wallpaper. His wrists were held tight, and as I watched, a sandy hand wrapped around his mouth and forced its way between his teeth. He gagged, and sand trickled out of the corners of his mouth.
The Erlking strolled towards him, not seeming to be in any sort of rush. “You know, I’m not very fond of your yapping.”
He made an idle gesture and the sand wrapped around my ankles, tethering me in place.
“I yap all the time,” Hitch said. “Three-time olympic yapper, that’s me. Best to just let me go now and save yourself some trouble.”
The Erlking tapped a manicured nail against Hitch’s mouth, hard enough to hurt, judging by the way he flinched away. “But why would I ever let you go when I’ve gone to this much trouble to catch you and your sister? It’s so hard, these days, to find people that no one will miss.”
Hitch struggled against the sand, trying to escape and failing. “What do you want with us, then? You just said it, we’re nobody.”
“I’m fae, dear one,” the Erlking said. “I get my power from my followers. And I think that you two will make lovely additions to my flock.”

He flicked Hitch's nose and Hitch gasped. Feathers started to form on his arms, popping out from under his skin in a spray of blood.
Hitch pushed off the wall, using his bound hands as a fulcrum, and his knees crashed into the Erlking’s stomach. The Erlking fell backwards, wheezing, and the sand around my ankles loosened.
Hitch made desperate eye contact with me as feathers shot up his neck and jerked his head towards the window. The message was obvious. Run.
The last thing I saw before crashing out the window and into freedom was Hitch’s body twisting, his arms wrenching into wings and feathers covering every inch of his skin. By the time I landed on the concrete outside, he was a small black bird, held tightly in the Erlking’s hands. The whole building was sinking into the ground, burnished-gold sand piling up over top and streaming from the windows.
Thirty years later, I saw Sam’s Supernatural Consultation and Neutralization written in neat, looping handwriting on a piece of paper taped to the door. The tape was peeling at the corners and the paper was yellowed with age, but there was obviously care put into the sign, in its perfectly centered text and looping floral designs drawn over the edges in gold marker.
I knocked, hesitantly, drawing my woolen coat closer around my shoulders. I’d bought it as a fiftieth birthday gift for myself, and I took comfort in the heavy weight of it over my shoulders.
“Coming!” someone called from within the depths of the office.
There were a couple crashes, and the sound of paper shuffling. Eventually, the door was opened by a young woman with ketchup stains on her shirt and pencils stuck through her hair.
“Hi, I’m Sam, I specialize in supernatural consultation and hunting, how may I help you today?” Sam said, customer-service pep in her voice. She stood in the doorway, solidly blocking entry into the office.
“My name is Ezra, I’m for a consultation. I emailed you but you didn’t respond?” I shifted in place, suddenly feeling awkward.
“Oh! Yeah, I lost the password for the email ages ago. Sorry for the bad welcome, I get lots of people thinking I’m crazy or pulling a prank and harassing me.”
She ushered me into the office, clearing papers off one of the chairs to make room for me to sit down. There was a collection of swords along one wall, all of them polished to perfection, several with deep knicks in the metal which indicated that they’d been used heavily.
“So what can I help you with?” Sam asked again, more sincere this time.
“Thirty years ago, my brother was turned into a bird,” I started. I’d told this story so many times that it barely felt ridiculous to say anymore. I was used to the disbelieving looks, the careful pity. But Sam just nodded along, face open and welcoming.
“I’ve almost given up on finding him, at this point,” I said. “But I saw your ad in the newspaper, and…here I am, I suppose.”
“Here you are,” Sam echoed, smiling. She pulled one of the pencils out of her hair and took a bit of paperwork off of one of her stacks, turning it over so that the blank side sat neatly in front of her. “Tell me everything.”
I told Sam everything, and she wrote it all down, pencil scratching along the paper.
The last part of the story was always the hardest to tell. “I left him there. I ran and I didn’t look back.”
I had been to dozens of detectives and investigators over the years, once the police had dropped Hitch’s case. I’d been to professional offices with smartly-dressed secretaries and met scraggly men in coffee shops. All of them had given me the same look, pity and annoyance all mixed up into a humor-the-crazy-lady soup. Sam, though, just seemed thoughtful.
Sam leaned forward and put a hand over mine, carefully, like she thought that I would pull away. “Sometimes you have to leave people behind.”
I tightened her hold on Sam’s hand and drew it towards me, like I could make Sam listen if only I squeezed tight enough. “But that’s why I’m here. I don’t want to leave him behind.”
“Okay then. I’ll do my best to help you.” Sam agreed, finally. Then she paused, and said softly, “You know…I think I met your brother once. He might have saved my life. He’s certainly why I started in this business.”
“Really? What happened?” I asked.
This is the story that Sam told me, related to the best of my abilities:
It was a new moon, so the only illumination came from the stars gazing idly down and distant porch lights shining across the scraggly brush of the dunes. Sam’s neighbors were decent people who cared about baby turtles, so the lights were a low, unobtrusive red, and the ocean sloshed like blood. Sam walked on the beach almost every night, drawing back the gauzy pink curtains and clambering out her bedroom window. She didn’t often bother to be quiet; her mama worked the late shift and came home exhausted. As long as Sam got home before the sun, her mama would never find out that she paced the shoreline and dreamed of inhaling sand until her lungs became their own beach.
The sky was lightening. The sun would come up soon, and that meant Sam’s time on the beach was over. She needed to get back to her real life, go to her fifth grade class and stop that nonsense, as her mother would say. Her mother loved to say things like that, pushing Sam into her proper place by implication alone.
“She’s a good kid, of course, but she’s a bit…” Her mother would trail off there, usually getting a commiserating expression from whoever she was talking to. Sam always wondered how that sentence would have finished. She’s a bit strange, maybe. She’s a bit intense. She’s a bit abrasive. She’s quiet enough but when Jason tried to steal her pencil in math class, she stabbed him in the hand so hard that the lead tattooed him.
Her mother was better, for the most part. The days of her stocking up the fridge, and leaving a post-it note on the counter, and leaving for days at a time were gone. But Sam still stepped around the place on the kitchen tile where her mother had collapsed and caved her head in, even though the bloodstains had been replaced with new tile.
“Your auntie got an abortion, you know,” her mother had said from her place on the couch, slurring her words. “Pill in the mail and then bam, no more baby.”
She had clapped her hands together to illustrate her point. Her mother jerked forward and grabbed Sam by the wrist, then, staring up at her until Sam met her eyes.
“I love you, you know? But sometimes I wonder…” She settled back onto the couch. “Yeah. I wonder.”
She’d gotten up, then, back to the kitchen. She’d been stumbling, a shambling zombie of a woman. The ground in the entryway of the kitchen was raised, ever so slightly, and her mother went down hard. Her head cracked against the tile, chin first, and she didn’t move.
Sam had been the one to call the ambulance. She had stared at the scattering of loose teeth on the ground while she waited, and considered what her life would be like with a dead mom. Not so bad, she thought, and immediately felt guilty for it.
Her mom was better, now, for the most part. But Sam still stepped around the place on the kitchen floor where she had collapsed. There was still a matchbox hidden under her bed with the gleaming shine of her mother’s lost teeth, two canines and a molar. It was nice, having a piece of her mom to keep. Even if she left again, Sam would still have part of her.
Sam sighed, and turned away from the ocean. As she faced towards the low dunes further up the beach, she saw a sandcastle sitting nestled among them. It was such a strange sight that her eyes skipped over it at first, almost automatically, disregarding it because it was so out of place.
Sam found sandcastles out on the beach sometimes, usually half-collapsed and on the verge of being washed away by the waves, but she had never seen anything like the sandcastle in front of her. It was life-sized, something that wouldn’t have looked out of place in the Scottish highlands, with spires shooting up above her head and carefully etched out bricks lining each side. The front wall was dominated by an arched set of double doors, twice her height, with a portcullis nestled at the top, ready to be dropped. All of it was lovingly detailed, down to the rust on the tips of the towers and the wood grain of the door. It was made out of wet, densely-packed sand, held together impossibly. It had not been there two hours ago, when she had come to the beach.
There was a bird sitting on the overhang of the door, small and black.
As soon as she took a step towards the sandcastle, the bird shook out its feathers and swooped down towards Sam, landing at her feet with a little stumble.
“Hey, kid, get out of here,” said the bird.
Sam closed her eyes, very deliberately. When she opened them, the bird was still there. Sam considered herself a very reasonable person, so she immediately drew the most logical conclusion. The bird was, she was almost certain, a demon.
“Trust me, you don’t want to run into Mr. Salty, the queen bitch himself,” the bird said.
“Mr. Salty?” Sam inquired, polite as she knew how to be. She edged to the side, trying to get a good angle to kick the bird like a soccer ball.
The bird did something similar to a wince, all its feathers fluffing up then settling back down. “Ah, don’t call him that. He’d turn you into a toad.”
The bird gestured with its head, towards the looming sand structure. “That’s his castle. He’s in there, probably scuttling along the ceiling or some shit because that’s the sort of weirdo he is.”
Sam nodded, encouraging. She pulled back her foot and lined up her shot, the way she’d seen athletes do on TV. She aimed right for its sharp beak and let loose. The bird saw it coming, its beady eyes widening, and it cawed in distress. It flapped away, avoiding her kick only to fall backward into the sand in a scramble of wings.
“What’s your fucking problem?” it squawked. “I was trying to help you!”
“I don’t need the help of a demon,” Sam yelled, trying to remember the exorcism that her mama had taught her once, because her mama believed in being prepared for anything.
“I’m not a demon,” the bird said indignantly.
It was at about that moment that Sam gave up and just decided to roll with it.
“What are you, then?” Sam asked.
The bird shuffled its clawed feet, looking about as awkward as it could, given that it didn’t really have recognizable facial expressions. “Technically I’m a familiar of the Erlking, prince of the fae, but I prefer to be called Hitch.”
“You can’t blame me for assuming, though,” Sam said. “Ravens do tend to be associated with murder.”
“Hey, excuse you,” Hitch said. “I’m a rook, not a raven. Ravens are way bigger.”
“Sure,” Sam said, not really paying attention. Her eyes had caught on the details of the sandcastle, and she was transfixed by the slow spirals of the sand, the strange beauty of it. She found herself stepping towards the great doors, lifting a hand to knock, and as she did, the sand warped in front of her eyes, heaving itself towards her with bulging slowness. The door creaked open before her, revealing a vast, empty room. Just before she stepped inside, she felt a piercing pain in her foot, and she yelped, leaping backwards.
Hitch pecked her again, really digging his beak in. “Don’t be an idiot.”
Sam glared at him, rubbing her foot. About to retort, she finally really took in the room inside the sandcastle, and her words died in her throat.
There was a body just past the threshold of the door, face down and limbs hanging limp at its sides. Long hair splayed out in a halo around its head.
“Don’t,” Hitch warned, suddenly serious. “Just leave, kid, I mean it. I’ve seen too many people go down this road and you don’t want to be one of them.”
Sam ignored him. She made her way across the beach, slipping with every step. The sand felt deeper, piling up around her feet in silent drifts. She picked up the nearest stick and poked the body with it through the door, ready to leap back if anything went wrong, staying firmly outside of the sandcastle.
This close, Sam could tell that it used to be a woman. Her head wasn’t attached to her body. It hadn’t been a clean amputation, either. Her upper body was bruised, with chunks taken out of it, and the bones in her neck hung mangled, not connected to anything.
“Well, I warned you,” Hitch said, defeated. “I did warn you.”
Sam nudged the head with the end of the stick, nudging it over so that she could see the face. Her mother stared back at her, torn to pieces, breath still wheezing from her lungs. She wasn’t blinking, just gazing forward with glazed eyes. Sweat dripped down from her hairline.
Sam screamed and dropped the stick, tripping over herself in her haste to get away.
Her mother’s eyes were wide and pleading, and she was mouthing desperate words at Sam. Her vocal cords were broken to bits, and the only sound that came out was a strained groan.
The head rolled, inching closer to Sam like a grotesque caterpillar.
Her mother gasped for air, torn lips fluttering. Finally, comprehensible words came out. “Help. Help me, daughter.”
“That’s not your mother,” Hitch said, quiet.
Sam knew that. Her mother was sleeping back at home, and anyways her mom had never asked for her help. She had an aversion to accepting charity, as she put it.
“Okay,” Sam said, shaking all over. “Okay.”
She backed away from the sandcastle, not looking away.
“Failure,” her mother hissed as she stepped away. “I never wanted a daughter like you.”
The sun came up over the horizon. The sandcastle, Hitch, and her mom all disintegrated into sand as the light hit them.
The beach, the next night, was almost exactly how I remembered it. The beams of our flashlights sent light bouncing across the dunes, illuminating the waves, and I imagined faces in the foam of the waves.
“I’ve been back here a hundred times. There’s nothing left,” I said.
Sam took the car key out of her purse and pointed it at the sand, adjusting the sword slung over her shoulder in order to do it. The key had belonged to Hitch; Sam had requested an item of his, and it was the only thing I had left. She rested the key on the sand and drew a circle around it, inscribing symbols around the borders.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
Sam shrugged. “Not much, really. I’m…I guess you could say that I’m knocking.”
The key laid inert on the sand for long enough that I was just about to give up and go home, admit to myself that Hitch was dead and that I was a fool to believe that Sam could actually help me. Then a building started to take shape, flickering in and out like it was struggling to get away. With a pop of displaced air, the sandcastle settled into existence.
Sam banged on the entryway. Nothing happened. She did it again, harder, and scowled when the door still didn’t open.
“We demand entrance, under your honor,” Sam yelled. There was a hard rush of wind, and I gripped Sam’s arm to keep my balance, but the doors cracked open reluctantly.
The inside of the sandcastle consisted of one enormous hall, the roof arching up out of sight. Rafters crisscrossed from wall to wall, and a cobbled path led further into the building, but other than that, it was completely empty, except for the birds. There were thousands of them, perched on the rafters or hopping along the ground. They parted in front of Sam and I, and reformed behind us, leaving us in a small pocket of open space. They were all black-feathered, with sharp beaks and beady eyes.
The Erlking sat on a throne at the end of the hall, lounging across it with his feet up on the armrest. He watched them as they came forward, the soft caw of the birds the only sound.
“I am here to bargain for the life of my brother,” I said, with as much dignity as I could muster, before the Erlking could say anything.
The Erlking ignored her, tilting his head to look at Sam. “I remember you. I almost got you, once.”

Sam glared at him but didn’t respond.
“You want your brother,” The Erlking said to me, and he almost sounded amused. “Then go get him.”
As if by some sort of silent signal, every bird in the room took flight at once, and their cawing made me think of screams. I covered my head against the flapping of their wings, and my vision was quickly obscured by the chaotic movement of them. I found myself on my knees, just trying to escape them.
A hand met my shoulder. Sam urged me to my feet, and together we ran for the edge of the room, where the swarm was the thinnest. We pressed ourselves into the corner and the swarm spiraled tighter and tighter at the center of the room. It went on until there seemed to be no differentiation between the birds, all of them fused together into one creature.
When the chaos died down, the birds had become one mass, with wings and eyes and talons sticking out of its flesh, thrashing and chirping. Human body parts stuck out of it, bulging out from the feathers. It was hands, mostly, with a couple knees or staring eyes. The bird amalgamation had no recognizable facial features, but there was one long beak extending from the front of its head. Most of the body parts were concentrated around the beak, and they peeked out from where the beak connected with muscle, or grew from the tongue, nestled between the two crushing halves of the beak.
It turned its beak down and crawled forward, using the hands to balance. The fingers scrambled over the ground. I was afraid of centipedes as a child, and I felt that same crawling dread when it started moving.
“Holy shit,” Sam whispered, which was rather disappointing, because I had been hoping that at least one of us knew what to do.
The creature turned, a lurching movement that crushed some of the hands underneath it, and started heaving itself slowly towards our corner.
“Better hurry up!” the Erlking called from his throne.
It was blocking the exit, by then. The shifting body of it had moved to block us off. It ambled towards us and I tried to sink further into the corner.
As it approached, getting close enough that I could smell the stink of it, I saw a flash of a tattoo on one of the hands. I leaned in, trying to find it again, like looking for dolphins surfacing in the ocean. And again, I caught a glimpse of a duck tattoo, the tattoo that Hitch had gotten on his hand as a teenager.
I ripped away from Sam’s death grip and ran for the monster.
I fell to my knees in front of it, wincing as I impacted the ground, and reached into the nest of hands. I could feel them tearing at my forearms and ripping into me with their sharp nails, but I kept going. I pressed further in, up to my shoulder in a writhing mass of limbs, aiming for the spot where I had last seen that tattoo.
The hands were tugging at me, wrapping around my back and hair. They were pulling together, trying to draw me completely into the mass of them. I was aware of Sam at my side, anchoring me in place and bashing any hand that got too close with her sword or the sparks that leapt from her hands with muttered words. But I didn’t think it would be enough. They were too strong, and there were too many of them.
I was up to my waist in the hands when something grabbed my palm. I felt the way it clung to me, and the calluses on its palm, and I knew that I had found my brother.
I flung herself back. The hands didn’t want to let me go, and they fought the whole way, but slowly, I made progress. I kept hold of Hitch’s hand in mine the whole time, gripping it as hard as I could. I finally broke free, Hitch with me, and Sam was immediately charging the creature, able to use her sword with much greater strength without being worried about injuring Hitch. She swung it forward, and it sliced through the wrist of one of the hands. It fell without a sound, red sand flowing out of it. It deflated until it looked like dirty laundry, just a piece of limp flesh. The creature shrieked, scuttling away enough that the door was finally accessible. The three of us ran for it, Sam and I supporting Hitch between us.
I looked back as I left and found the Erlking staring right at me.
“Interesting,” he murmured, his voice carrying impossibly across the vast space between us.
The sandcastle collapsed behind us, the great walls falling in on themselves. We were out in the morning sun, the sandcastle disappearing as we watched. Hitch was on the ground in front of me, as young as he’d been thirty years ago, when he was captured. He started laughing, feathers puffing out of his mouth. He laughed until he cried and I hugged him in the way that he’d held me when I was young, in the times when my life had been defined by hunger and fear.
Hitch left, afterwards. He scratched at the pinhole scars covering his body, where feathers burst through his skin, and pulled his long sleeves down around his wrists. He didn’t know where he was going but he told me that he needed time
I had spent thirty years worth of time without him. I wanted to grab my brother by the shoulders and beg him to stay. But he flinched when I hugged him goodbye and he refused to go near sand and he stared distrustfully at the birds chirping in the trees. Hitch needed to go away and I loved him too much to stop him.
I sat out on the beach every morning. I felt the sun on my face and I waited for Hitch to come home.
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