Napcoware music box ballerina
Charged Creeper [SMP] {Cross-Play} {McMMO} {Dungeons} {Mob Arenas} {Custom Loot} {Shops} {Chest & Inventory Sort} {Crates}
2024.05.19 20:17 Specimen197 Charged Creeper [SMP] {Cross-Play} {McMMO} {Dungeons} {Mob Arenas} {Custom Loot} {Shops} {Chest & Inventory Sort} {Crates}
Welcome to the Charged Creeper SMP server! Build, conceptualize and reimagine to your hearts content with the assurance of your progresses safety and longevity. If you're annoyed with unstable & buggy worlds; If you're tired of short lived servers destroying your progress; if you're tired of servers nickel & diming you creating an unfair / broken experience, we're the server for you! What else does Charged Creeper have to offer you; log in at any time, any place from any platform and see for yourself! Here are a few things we offer the community:
đ QoL: Such as Public Warps, Personal Homes, Teleporting to Friends, Chest & Inventory Sorting, Mob Heads, Live Map, Non-Premium Crates, Discord to Minecraft Chatting, etc.
đ Lite RPG: Mob Arenas, Dungeons w/ Custom Bosses & Loot Tables, New open-world mobs, McMMO (skilling system), etc.
đ Non-P2W store: Complete chat customization, portable music boxes, Join/Leave announcements, etc. NO gear is sold, nor is any playable content locked behind a paywall.
đ Voting Perks: Gain random rewards each day for supporting our server through the /vote command.
đ Economy: Completely player-owned and operated. Choose how you want to be paid / what to sell.
đ Cross-play: Play with your friends on any platform!
đ Professionalism: A staff that knows the game and can rapidly identify problems to prevent server lag, bug exploits & quickly engage hotfixes to minimalize downtime.
đ No Whitelisting: That's right, come play any time restriction-free!
đ Safety: Land claiming keeps your builds safe. We have the ability to restore corrupted inventories, rollback damage, keep daily backups and much more!
đ Discord: A channel with tons of extra information for the community with regular updates!
Website Discord Channel Java IP: mc.chargedcreeper.com Bedrock Port: 25566
submitted by Specimen197 to MinecraftServer [link] [comments]
đ QoL: Such as Public Warps, Personal Homes, Teleporting to Friends, Chest & Inventory Sorting, Mob Heads, Live Map, Non-Premium Crates, Discord to Minecraft Chatting, etc.
đ Lite RPG: Mob Arenas, Dungeons w/ Custom Bosses & Loot Tables, New open-world mobs, McMMO (skilling system), etc.
đ Non-P2W store: Complete chat customization, portable music boxes, Join/Leave announcements, etc. NO gear is sold, nor is any playable content locked behind a paywall.
đ Voting Perks: Gain random rewards each day for supporting our server through the /vote command.
đ Economy: Completely player-owned and operated. Choose how you want to be paid / what to sell.
đ Cross-play: Play with your friends on any platform!
đ Professionalism: A staff that knows the game and can rapidly identify problems to prevent server lag, bug exploits & quickly engage hotfixes to minimalize downtime.
đ No Whitelisting: That's right, come play any time restriction-free!
đ Safety: Land claiming keeps your builds safe. We have the ability to restore corrupted inventories, rollback damage, keep daily backups and much more!
đ Discord: A channel with tons of extra information for the community with regular updates!
Website Discord Channel Java IP: mc.chargedcreeper.com Bedrock Port: 25566
2024.05.19 20:03 Tayjiro DDLC Favorite Mod Meme (Template by u/Saltoff3)
 | submitted by Tayjiro to DDLCMods [link] [comments] |
2024.05.19 19:30 thesilverpoets96 Song of the Week: Get Up
https://youtu.be/rPIEBohSojI?si=4k_85P9EeZRXVjxQ
https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/rem/getup.html
Hello everyone, I hope all is well. Today we are going back to 1998 with the bandâs sixth studio album titled Green. Specifically, we are going to be talking about the second song from the album âGet Up.â
âGet Upâ was the albumâs fourth and final single and had a music video directed Eric Darnell who would later co produce animated movies like Antz and Madagascar. To me, this song is the perfect combination of the band having fun while displaying thought provoking lyrics and great dynamics.
The song actually begins with the music of the chorus, minus the Michaelâs vocals, only including Mikeâs faints vocals. The tempo of the songs really cements the idea of getting up with its fast paced drum beat, fast electric chord changes and a killer bass line. You also have some guitar slides from Peter which add to the overall textures of the song.
When we get into the verse, Billâs drumming is less forward and fits the stop and go rhythm from Peterâs guitar strumming. We also get some hand clap percussion every now and again which adds to the bubblegum pop soundscape of the song. At the end of each line that Michael sings, we get an additional vocal from Michael singing âget up, get up!â Now you may be wondering, why isnât it Mike singing this part? While Iâm sure it was deliberate, it fits the backstory to this song. Michael wrote this song about Mike, who at the time of this albumâs record session, was sleeping in late every day. So this song was basically a call for Mike to get up and work on recording the album. Funny thing is that Mike didnât find this out until the late 1990âs when Michael told the story before playing the song during a show.
Although I think thereâs more to be said about this lyrics. Sure, in the verse they are pretty simple âsleep delays my life, where does the time go? I donât know.â Someone is sleeping away their days. And after Michael sings âyouâve got all your lifeâ you get Mike singing âway up aheadâ which ends with him singing in a falsetto for the word âahead.â
But when the band goes back into the chorus, I feel like Michaelâs lyric could take on different meanings. When he sings âdreams they complicate my lifeâ he could be singing about actual dreams you have when you are sleeping, or maybe even nightmares. But he could also mean dreams where you aspire to do or be something. And in that sense he might be saying that his dreaming is getting in his way. I just love how the different vocals over layered on top of each other in an almost dream state way. And I like how the band opened the song with the chorus because the chorus seems to be the person dreaming and the verses are someone telling this person to wake up. Plus the chorus ends with Peterâs slide guitar and the chorus progression seeming to climb higher and higher with Mikeâs vocals as if someone is waking up from a deep sleep.
In the second verse we have Michael empathizing with this person by telling them that life is hard and how they see them laying down which is similar to what he sings in the chorus. Heâs sings about not knowing where to turn to in life when you face challenges and I like this lyric because itâs extremely relatable to me.
After the second verse we get another chorus. And something else I wanted to point out is that after Michael sings âdreams they complicate my lifeâ you have another vocal singing âdreams that complement my life.â I feel like this goes back to the theory of this song being about two different meaning of the word âdream.â People dream because it complements a life style they want to create for themselves. But if you canât make your dreams come true then they can possibly ruin your life. I also feel like some of Michaelâs vocal phrasing, especially in the verse, remind me of how he sings âHairshirtâ but with a lot more energy and faster overall. Both songs even usual a similar lyric with âmy life.â
Now is the time we get to the bridge and it may be the weirdest bridge that the band had created up to this point in their career. The bridge is just a bunch of toy music boxes being played at the same time, backed by a kick drum that reminds me of a heart beat. The idea is this bridge actually comes from Bill who actually came up with the idea from a dream he had. I know this sounds too good to be true but itâs real! And as weird as it is, it works perfect for this song. The dissonance of the music boxes is kinda creepy sounding at first, but it definitely fits the theme of dreaming and sleeping.
Bill leads the band back into one last chorus with a decent drum fill. And this time around Michael sings âthis time, no escape, I wake upâ as is the person in this song realizes that they are sleeping their life away and now they are going to wake up and do something about it. That post chorus seems to last a little longer as the band builds and ascends as Michael sings another round of âget up, get up!â
And just like that, the song is done. In less than three minutes even! Although this song was one of the weaker singles commercially for the band up to this point, I think this is one of their best songs, especially on Green. Itâs a song thatâs short and to the point, but it has a lot of different ideas between the lyricsâ double meanings and interesting production choices. Michaelâs energetic singing is top notch and it has everything I love in a R.E.M. song. If I had a chance to see the band live, I would have loved to have heard this one.
But what do you think about this song? Is it a stronger song from Green? What do you think the song is about? Favorite musical or lyrical moments? And did you ever catch it live?
submitted by thesilverpoets96 to rem [link] [comments]
https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/rem/getup.html
Hello everyone, I hope all is well. Today we are going back to 1998 with the bandâs sixth studio album titled Green. Specifically, we are going to be talking about the second song from the album âGet Up.â
âGet Upâ was the albumâs fourth and final single and had a music video directed Eric Darnell who would later co produce animated movies like Antz and Madagascar. To me, this song is the perfect combination of the band having fun while displaying thought provoking lyrics and great dynamics.
The song actually begins with the music of the chorus, minus the Michaelâs vocals, only including Mikeâs faints vocals. The tempo of the songs really cements the idea of getting up with its fast paced drum beat, fast electric chord changes and a killer bass line. You also have some guitar slides from Peter which add to the overall textures of the song.
When we get into the verse, Billâs drumming is less forward and fits the stop and go rhythm from Peterâs guitar strumming. We also get some hand clap percussion every now and again which adds to the bubblegum pop soundscape of the song. At the end of each line that Michael sings, we get an additional vocal from Michael singing âget up, get up!â Now you may be wondering, why isnât it Mike singing this part? While Iâm sure it was deliberate, it fits the backstory to this song. Michael wrote this song about Mike, who at the time of this albumâs record session, was sleeping in late every day. So this song was basically a call for Mike to get up and work on recording the album. Funny thing is that Mike didnât find this out until the late 1990âs when Michael told the story before playing the song during a show.
Although I think thereâs more to be said about this lyrics. Sure, in the verse they are pretty simple âsleep delays my life, where does the time go? I donât know.â Someone is sleeping away their days. And after Michael sings âyouâve got all your lifeâ you get Mike singing âway up aheadâ which ends with him singing in a falsetto for the word âahead.â
But when the band goes back into the chorus, I feel like Michaelâs lyric could take on different meanings. When he sings âdreams they complicate my lifeâ he could be singing about actual dreams you have when you are sleeping, or maybe even nightmares. But he could also mean dreams where you aspire to do or be something. And in that sense he might be saying that his dreaming is getting in his way. I just love how the different vocals over layered on top of each other in an almost dream state way. And I like how the band opened the song with the chorus because the chorus seems to be the person dreaming and the verses are someone telling this person to wake up. Plus the chorus ends with Peterâs slide guitar and the chorus progression seeming to climb higher and higher with Mikeâs vocals as if someone is waking up from a deep sleep.
In the second verse we have Michael empathizing with this person by telling them that life is hard and how they see them laying down which is similar to what he sings in the chorus. Heâs sings about not knowing where to turn to in life when you face challenges and I like this lyric because itâs extremely relatable to me.
After the second verse we get another chorus. And something else I wanted to point out is that after Michael sings âdreams they complicate my lifeâ you have another vocal singing âdreams that complement my life.â I feel like this goes back to the theory of this song being about two different meaning of the word âdream.â People dream because it complements a life style they want to create for themselves. But if you canât make your dreams come true then they can possibly ruin your life. I also feel like some of Michaelâs vocal phrasing, especially in the verse, remind me of how he sings âHairshirtâ but with a lot more energy and faster overall. Both songs even usual a similar lyric with âmy life.â
Now is the time we get to the bridge and it may be the weirdest bridge that the band had created up to this point in their career. The bridge is just a bunch of toy music boxes being played at the same time, backed by a kick drum that reminds me of a heart beat. The idea is this bridge actually comes from Bill who actually came up with the idea from a dream he had. I know this sounds too good to be true but itâs real! And as weird as it is, it works perfect for this song. The dissonance of the music boxes is kinda creepy sounding at first, but it definitely fits the theme of dreaming and sleeping.
Bill leads the band back into one last chorus with a decent drum fill. And this time around Michael sings âthis time, no escape, I wake upâ as is the person in this song realizes that they are sleeping their life away and now they are going to wake up and do something about it. That post chorus seems to last a little longer as the band builds and ascends as Michael sings another round of âget up, get up!â
And just like that, the song is done. In less than three minutes even! Although this song was one of the weaker singles commercially for the band up to this point, I think this is one of their best songs, especially on Green. Itâs a song thatâs short and to the point, but it has a lot of different ideas between the lyricsâ double meanings and interesting production choices. Michaelâs energetic singing is top notch and it has everything I love in a R.E.M. song. If I had a chance to see the band live, I would have loved to have heard this one.
But what do you think about this song? Is it a stronger song from Green? What do you think the song is about? Favorite musical or lyrical moments? And did you ever catch it live?
2024.05.19 19:19 Subject_Actuator1280 Something brightly yellow in the water
The bright yellow terror
ââEvery now and then I would stare at the murky brown water below and see several small glimpses of bright yellow popping up from and then retreating down below the surface in rhythmic fashion. Like a dance routine. Bright deadly yellow. The rotting sweet stench of death still lodged in my nostrils.ââ
I had happened upon these diary pages by mistake when I was digging through old boxes in my basement. My wife had insisted, finally, that I sort out and get rid of everything I didnât need. Now here I was, confronted with a part of my past I had tried to suppress unsuccessfully for so many years. 24 years to be exact. 24 odd years of trying to understand what exactly happened in those days when I was trapped on a rooftop in Phuket during a deadly and disastrous natural catastrophe.
24 odd years of having to dodge around questions of my abject and unwavering fear of the ocean. Well, in truth, I guess being caught in a large tsunami and witnessing immense destructive forces of nature coming directly from the great wide ocean would be a fair excuse, but it was only half the truth. It wasnât just the waves themselves that had terrified me.
Until now, I thought the water damaged remains of the diary I kept back then was lost. I even hoped it was. I never shared this story with anyone. Partly because the horror was too fresh in my memory back then and I wanted to focus on moving on with my life and by the time I felt my mind was stabilized I had no real interest in returning to that dark part of my past. Partly because the right words always escaped me.
Mostly because I was afraid people would think I was insane. I can no longer contain this, however. I need an outlet. I spend years running from it. But I guess I canât lie to myself anymore. Someone once told me that writing can be therapeutic. Simply putting your thoughts down on paper, or in our times, more likely in word document, can help you compartmentalize trauma. So, Iâm giving it a try. I canât pretend the events of those days in Phuket didnât cast a shadow over everything in my life that came after.
I often think of the beach days I missed with my son when he was a boy. Days where I shouldâve done dad stuff. Thrown him into the ocean. Watched him laugh his little face of as he braved the waves. Helped him build sandcastles. Gone exploring along the sandy shores in search of beached treasure in the form little rocks and the odd piece of amber. I just couldnât. Initially I had objected to the idea of him going at all. Naturally, my wife would hear none of that and I realized reluctantly, that my fear and trauma should not rule my sonâs life. Instead, my wife would go, and I would always stay home. She understood, to some degree, what I had gone through and where my fear came from.
Only to some degree. My son did not, and I fear he resented my absence on those perfect sunny days, despite my efforts to make up for it with other activities. Both he and my wife certainly noticed how closed off I was about certain parts of my past. Secrets untold, especially those who are grounded in trauma, almost inevitably turns to toxic in our systems. Iâm finally ready. I just hope it isnât too late.
I wonât lie. Iâve always had a vivid imagination although I have never had trouble distinguishing between what is real and what is not. At least until my sense of reality was forever challenged. I know these things happened to me. I know what I saw and what I experienced was real. I just donât have a truly rational explanation for it. Yet, I swear, there was something in the water that came with that tsunami. Something deeply, deeply unnatural. Something brightly and oddly yellow. I had no other word for it than the bright yellow terror.
I had travelled to Thailand, more precisely Bangkok late December 2000. 19 years old about to turn 20. I was on one of those infamous and increasingly popular self-discovery trips. I had caught the fever. Like so many other young hopeful adventurers at the time I had seen The Beach. I had read into the wild by Jon Krakauer.
I watched Dicaprio walk the sandy shores of paradise and read on in excitement and awe as Christopher McCandles set out to become one with nature and discover himself. Kill the false being within and all that. In simple terms, I thought Iâd try and find my own slice of heaven on earth. Expand my horizon. Get to know some new people. Learn something about myself in the process perhaps. I wasnât exactly fleeing from anything, that wasnât it. I had a loving although cuddling and overprotective family. Especially my mom would worry about me constantly (and still does).
Yes, I admit it. My parents had paved the way for me at almost every step. Made sure I got into the right schools. Made sure I never needed for money. I guess I got tired of feeling dependent on them. I stopped taking their money and saved up for the trip myself. It was time I stepped up. It was time I threw myself into the world to see what would happen. Hell of a time and place I picked for that.
The following story is based on the surviving pages of the diary I kept during the time and my own memory.
Bangkok 23rd December 2000. 4 days before the tsunami.
ââMy first day in Bangkok. Quite overwhelming but in a nice way. No one here to save me. No one here to tell me what to do. Thailand is hot and humid and thereâs something in the air. I think itâs adventure. I think itâs limitless opportunity. I met a monkey in a diaper and got thoroughly beaten and lost 100 bath in a game of connect four by some 10-year-old kid. Got scammed as well though, I will have to wise up and learn the ropes. Avoid the yellow taxis. Go for the Tuk Tuks. Well, lesson learned. I met a guy who told me all kinds of terrifying things about Australia. Robert. Iâm meeting him in Phuket a couple of days from now.ââ
You could probably imagine the excitement bubbling within me. For the first time on my own. 19 years old. Prime of my life. In a strangely new and exotic city. Possibilities seemed endless. I still remember vividly driving off with the wind in my hair in a tuk-tuk as Bangkok unfolded before me with all its oriental mysticism and surrounding cityscapes. To be fair, I had never even seen an honest to god palm tree before as they simply couldnât grow in the northern climate I was from.
I got myself stationed in a decent guesthouse around Khaosan Road. Everywhere I looked it seems others had gotten the same idea as me. Backpackers littered the streets and in a strange way, I felt at home amidst this quiet chaos, amidst the crowds of hopefully likeminded explorers, far, far away from home. The humidity was hitting me though, it was something I would have to get used to. It felt like a wet hot invisible blanket. Khaosan Road was perfect for me. A meeting place for young backpackers, with tons of opportunities to plan further travels. I did after all, not plan on staying in Bangkok for too long. It was just a stepping point to other adventures.
It was still early, and the humidity was clammy as hell. I was in the mood to socialize and with no real plans I simply ventured out into the streets of Bangkok, circling around the area where my guesthouse was located. It wasnât long before the first opportunity presented itself in the form of a taxi driver calling me over. He offered to take me on a tour of the city. Foolish and naĂŻve as I was, I indulged him. I remember how the cab driver lit up a doobie, joint, spliff, devilâs lettuce whatever you want to call it.
You know it as soon as you breathe in the air. Donât get me wrong, I smoked myself, but letting a clearly high person drive me around the busy Bangkok traffic did not seem like a good idea. I should probably have asked to be let out that very moment, but as the kind of timid, shy type of person I was plus the desire to just go along with whatever happened come what may made me stay. Unsurprisingly I was eventually led to a store, fitted for a suit a didnât want, and then subsequently charged an obscene amount for the cab ride. I didnât have the courage to refuse his unreasonable demand. Noteworthy mention. That same night I heard from a fellow traveler that just recently someone had been stabbed in an argument with a cab driver. I didnât let it get me down or drive me off course, because as youâve probably gathered by now, I didnât have a course.
As day turned to night and when the sunâs rays slowly disappeared behind the rooftops of Bangkok, the city itself began to transform. As if a part of it which had laid dormant, hidden away from the light, started to emerge.
Neon lights advertising different bars, people making all kinds of promises of untold pleasures and sensations. Tourists ready to party. All now filled the streets. Some seemed all too aware of what they were looking for, others simply drifted around aimlessly, in search of something unknown, something to spice up their existence. I found a small seemingly cool place called The Hangover. I swear to god, I wish to this day I hadnât. Maybe then I wouldnât have set my course for Phuket. In any case, I went in and pushed myself through the crowds of rowdy and loud tourists and up the bar where I ordered a Pina Colada. Please donât judge me. I just really like coconuts and the song is pretty good as well. Standing at the crowded bar and looking around, hoping something interesting would catch my eye. But most of all, I was hoping someone would just take the first step and come talk to me.
Someone did. His name was Robert, and he was from Australia. A tall skinny and no-nonsense older guy who seemed quite experienced with all things Thailand. He eventually invited me down to his group of friends at the far back end of the bar. Robert spared no time telling me about himself. He had worked all kinds of jobs, in all kinds of places. Most recently he had worked as a guide in Phuket. Among other things he had arranged rock climbing expeditions. I probably forgot to mention, I was big into rock climbing and generally all kinds of outdoor activities back then.
I already had quite the climbing experience despite my young age. As Robert talked about all the places heâd been, he made me feel like the novice I was. That was never his intention though, as I quickly learned. He wasnât a bragger. He just knew what he was talking about and when he laughed, he did it with his entire face and in a way that made you laugh with him and feel comfortable.
Eventually the conversation naturally gravitated towards Australia. A place I had always wanted to visit. He looked at me for a second, as if to contemplate something. Then told me to watch out for locals trying to play pranks on me. I was naturally interested in hearing more and thatâs when he told me about drop bears. Supposedly drop bears are carnivorous versions of Koalas residing in trees to then drop down on unsuspecting victims and viciously attack them. We laughed quite a lot, and I admitted I would probably have believed the stories as I was a fairly naive person and the idea of hostile subspecies of koalas didnât seem that farfetched to me. It would be typical of past me to get punked around like that. Our conversation then shifted towards Australian wildlife and fauna and the horrors residing within its diverse and complicated eco system. He told me about a plant not uncommonly referred to as the suicide plant. Dendrocnide moroides or more commonly known as stinging tree, stinging bush or gympie gympie apparently has such a nasty and painful sting it made a man commit suicide simply to escape the pain. Another dangerous inhabitant was the box jellyfish he explained.
Their sting was about as deadly as it gets. A single sting to a human will cause necrosis of the skin, excruciating pain and, if the dose of venom is large enough, cardiac arrest and death within minutes. I have always found jellyfish equal parts fascinating and equal parts frightening. Beautiful but deadly creatures. In fact, the ocean, in all its grand wide-reaching glory had always horrified me to some extent. So much unexplored space. Who truly knows what could be lurking down there? Robert quickly assured me, that as long as you take your precaution the likelihood of getting stung by a box jellyfish was rather small. They had signs up warning people against them. Generally, do not ignore these signs. They are there for a good reason.
It was getting late and before we said our goodbyes Robert suggested I meet him in Phuket, more precisely in the Khao Lak area on the 28th as that was the first day he would be able to. I thought why not? He seemed genuinely nice and knowledgeable. Just good company all around and he promised to show me the greatest climbing spots a bit away from the crowded tours. It was a start.
I would never meet Robert again. I donât know what happened to him. Thinking back on those days leading up to the point the waves came crashing down always gives me an uneasy, sad, and melancholic feeling. The people I met in Bangkok talking about going south. Those I met in Phuket before it happened. I have no idea if they ended up as corpses floating through the murky brown waters or god forbid, victims of that unholy terror from the deep. I hope Robert wasnât among those unfortunate souls who died or went⊠ââMissingââ. Although if I must pick one or the other. I would hope he died quickly.
Bangkok 24th of December 2000. 3 days before the tsunami.
I woke up with a slight hangover. Christmas is commonly celebrated on this date in my country, so I was expecting some calls to go through on my brick sized Nokia at some point once all the good folks back home woke up. They were about 5 hours behind me and at 9 AM Bangkok time they would still be sleeping. I used the time to do some shopping before my trip to Phuket. I got plenty of rope, a couple of snap hooks and a harness. I knew theyâd have all of this on the guided tours, but I liked to find my own spots to climb, and I had good sense and knowledge enough to not attempt anything too daring. By the way. For those uninitiated, snap hooks are used to make a quick, reversible connection on a system of ropes, or to connect a rope or cord to another component, like a lanyard medallion or barrier post. Essential if you want to go climbing. If youâve ever gone ziplining itâs the thing that connects you safely to the zipline and lets you slight across.
After having done my shopping, I bought a bus ticket to Phuket intending on leaving that same night and went back to my hotel room. As exciting as Bangkok was, I felt it was more for people intend on partying and in all honesty, a bit too crowded for me. I was excited to move on and I could always come back if I wanted to. On my way into the reception area, I was stopped by a young hip looking dude looking for a cigarette. Now I donât necessarily consider myself a perfect judge of character, but he had an easy-going way about him that immediately drew me in. Sometimes, you can just tell.
He had sort of a rugged look about him. Dirty blond half-long hair. His face I would best describe as boyish but something in his eyes betrayed him and revealed his age to be older than you would assume. His style was⊠Boheme I guess I would describe it as. Like something taken out of the 70s LA scene. Iâm not a smoker. Never was. So, I couldnât help him on that front. It didnât matter he would find someone else he said. For a while we just casually talked. Apparently, he had come to Bangkok just a few days prior and seemed about as lost and without direction as I had been before deciding on taking my chances in Phuket. Alex was his name, and he would later save my life and help me understand what it means to forge a quick and unbreakable connection through shared trauma, but Iâm getting ahead of myself.
He asked me if I wanted to go somewhere and get a beer. I thought why not? He was about my age and on his own as well. I told him I had to go make some calls and Iâd be out in about an hour. Back the hotel room I quickly gathered all my stuff and packed it up, so it was ready to go. My climbing gear took up the most space. I figured if things went well with Alex, I might be able to persuade him in joining me at some point in Phuket. Even though I had set out for this trip to be about discovering myself and being on my own, I longed for some kind of company. Donât we all? I called my parents up and we wished each other a happy Christmas. It was odd to think they were somewhere nearly half-way across the world celebrating Christmas while snow draped the landscapes there. Here I was, In hot and humid paradise. No, I did not miss the cold or the snow, but I did miss not being there to celebrate the holidays with my family. But it had been my choice to go during the holiday season and I did not regret it. I had saved up enough money and there was no point in waiting anymore. There would be many other holidays to celebrate in the future.
My 5-year-old nephew somehow got a hold of the phone. Not quite the conversationalist yet, it still felt good to hear his voice. Hearing his excitement over the prospect of celebrating Christmas brought me back to my own childhood. Decorating the Christmas tree, watching holiday cartoons and of course, opening presents. I finished my calls and went out to see if Alex was ready. He was already waiting for me and had apparently managed to score some cigarettes in the meantime. He had changed his outfit as well. Now wearing a faded black doors t-shirt. We talked a bit about Jim Morrison and the doors as we headed off down streets. We passed a myriad of small stands selling everything from electronics to colorful t-shirts and small bracelets with campy misspelled English catchphrases. We dodged the many intrusive offers and eventually found a small comfy looking bar with seats outside shaded by palm trees. We ordered a couple of beers and the conversation started flowing along quite nicely. Alex was 25 and from London It turned out. We also had a common interest in music. For a while he had busked as a street musician while working odd jobs here and there and had eventually decided to travel the world.
His first stop had been India where for a while he had lived on the rooftop of some abandoned building while attempting to learn the art of playing the sitar. I thought about that for a second. Living it rough on some rooftop in India. I donât know why that idea intrigued me so much. Seemed like freedom to me, I guess. Sleeping under the wide-open skies. Looking down on the streets and watching people go about their lives. I guess I just liked the idea of doing something that seemed different from what I had ever done before. Living on a rooftop, if even just for a while, was definitely not something I had done before. There was the view as well, Alex reminded me. And it was free of course. We drifted off into long conversations about music I wonât bore you too much with, only to let you know we shared a passion for old school music like the doors and Jimi Hendrix as well as 90s shoegaze music like My Bloody Valentine, Ride and Slowdive. I had Slowdiveâs Shine playing in my mind that day. All felt so dreamy at the time.
I eventually told Alex of my plans to go to Phuket and he was onboard almost immediately. I loved how easy it was here on the road. There was no ââwell maybeââ, or ââletâs think about it.ââ In fact, Alex had been to Phuket before and knew of a place we could stay for free. Another rooftop of course, but he had already sold me on the idea. From there, we could plan our next step he said. ââour next stepââ I donât remember vibing with someone that quickly before or since, but then I guess making friends is always easier when youâre young and easy going. I always seemed to attract good company without much effort back then. I chalk it down to my friendly and slightly shy demeanor. Seems it only becomes harder to make friends as the years pass though. At least for me it did.
We got a bus ticket for Alex and shopped a bit more. I got some first aid supplies. Bandages, plasters, that kind of stuff. Rock climbing is safe, mind you, but you can end up scraping yourself and I felt in general, being prepared for whatever might be a good idea if I was to live it rough on some rooftop. The bus-ride to Phuket took about 12 hours give or take. By going at night, we could sleep most of the way and be in Phuket early morning on the 25th. The trip down was uneventful. We would take turns listening to music on Alexâs Walkman or talk about things we saw along the way. Like roadside bars and restaurants who were little more than a tin roof covering a few plastic chairs and brightly colored menu cards. Everything seemed simpler here, in the best ways possible.
No big flash, no fanfares or luxury. Nothing pretentious. Just a calm, laid back atmosphere and friendly smiles from the locals as we passed by. Alex told me he wanted to start a band blending elements of Shoegaze with classic rock and insisted I learn to play the drums as he had tried but found no luck. String instruments were more him he told me. I told him jokingly if he could come up with a good name, I might be down. He just nodded and looked out the window and started talking about how beef was a rare and more expensive ingredient in Thai cuisine, and I wondered about the sudden random change of subject. Although we had talked a lot during the short time we had known each other, Alex was still a mystery to me in many ways. Judging from all the things he told me he seemed like a person who dreamed big, but never really followed through
An unfinished education. Scribbles on pieces of paper that ended up gathering dust in his drawer instead of turning into a book. A band that never really took off because he lost interest or didnât deem that it was good enough to get successful. He talked at length about leaving a legacy. It seemed to be something that concerned him. I guess he wanted to put his mark on the world. To be remembered. To live on in some small way. I had never really thought about it myself although I did have a fascination with historical people and the lives they lived. In fact, when I do read I mostly read biographies. I just never had any ambition like that myself. I donât need the world to know my name, or sing my praises, or remember me. Good friends, family and a sense of freedom and adventure was enough. I had tried to ask Alex about his family and friends back home, but he seemed avoidant and always found a way to change the subject without really providing any meaningful information. At certain points, I sensed a carefully hidden sadness behind his otherwise optimistically youthful and bright blue gaze.
Phuket 25th of December 2000. 2 days before the tsunami.
Alex woke me up. It was 9 AM and we had arrived at the Phuket bus terminal 1 near Phang Nga Road. We were here. Alex explained to me that the there were several derelict and abandoned buildings perfect for establishing a free of charge rooftop domicile in an area not too far from the resorts of Khao Lak. Phuket back then wasnât exactly the overcrowded tourist spot it is today, but it was well on the way. I understood why. The scenery was beautiful. Long sandy beaches with small island dots in the horizon, begging to be explored. Giant limestone cliffs covered in green shrubs. It did seem like paradise to me, without being too far away from civilization. I guess despite my adventurous nature, I wasnât quite ready at that point, to walk into the wild, which is why Khao Lak seemed perfect as a start for me.
We found the area Alex had talked about. Several derelict buildings were concentrated in a small area divided by a main street that if followed long enough, led to an area with shops and places to dine. We set our eyes on what looked like an abandoned apartment complex. It was derelict, rugged looking and it seemed clear at first that no one lived there. Its ghostly façade begged us inside to explore and we accepted the invitation. As we made our way in, through a busted window in the back, we quickly became aware that the place might not be as abandoned as we had initially thought. Several signs of squatters such as cooking utensils and sleeping mats lay scattered here and there. Alex quickly rationalized that it could just be other backpackers, or it could be the people had moved on. I shrugged and we decided to make our way to the roof. We made our way to the top floor and accessed a broken-down door that led directly out onto the roof. I must admit, besides excitement, I was somewhat hesitant. Any doubt I had disappeared when we first stepped onto the rooftop terrace. It was perfect. It seemed it had functioned as a balcony or space of sorts the inhabitants could make use of for gatherings.
The entire space was surrounded by a fence. Several palm trees shaded the northwest corner which was perfect for when things got too hot. In the middle a small shed or janitorial sort of building stood. We found some cleaning materials, brooms, some parasols in there as well as an old rusty grill. The view was great. We could see the large beachfront in the far distance surrounded by limestones. After inspecting the area and finding it to our liking we sat down, and Alex broke out a bottle of whiskey. Unaware of the horror that would later unfold here, we celebrated in the shade of the palm trees. We had found our place for a while. Our place.
After a while we decided to put some money in the local economy and shop for supplies.
Essentials: Water. Cigarettes. Booze. The devilâs lettuce. Cooking utensils. Although none of us was admittedly any much of a cook. But what the hell. Canât be seen dining out every night when we were trying to live off the fat of the land so to speak. I know, ridiculous. We were squatters. Nothing more. But heck, we would move on if we became a problem for any one here. We werenât trying to be a bother.
Optional but greatly wanted: A blow-up animal mascot. Maybe a dolphin if possible. Some new music for Alexâs walk-man. A guitar. Decorating artifacts of any kind to make our domicile more personal.
We more or less got everything we needed and started setting up base. Getting our hands on something funny to smoke proved the biggest challenge but Alex finally succeeded at a beachfront bar. Some friendly Norwegian dude who had connections apparently. He warned us against being too open about doing drugs, even if was ââjustââ marijuana. Thailand had a strict approach to drugs. We thanked him and he told us to just come back here at the bar if we needed more, he was usually around.
Afternoon was rolling around and there we were. Sitting atop Phuket. On our very own rooftop presidential suite. We decorated the place with a few things we found. Among them ââArthurââ our blow-up shark (they had no dolphins). Alex had come up with the name, I asked him why ââArthurââ but in what I had quickly come to know as typical Alex fashion he just shrugged it off. We just smoked a bit and drank some booze as the evening progressed and I told Alex about Robert and Australia and all the nasty things that could kill you there. Iâm not sure why, but it had made an impression on me. Insects, rare poisonous creatures, stuff like that was nightmare fuel for me. Donât even get me started on spiders. Alex was a bit more laid back on that front. He seemed most amused and interested in the suicide plant and wondered if some poor soul had ever mistakenly used it as toilet paper and we had a good hard chuckle over that idea. Poor soul indeed.
As night rolled on stars started popping up on a clear night the sky and I learned that Alex had a fascination with the universe. Particularly the idea of multiverses and infinite universes. What if somewhere out there we were looking back at ourselves. Slightly different but still us. Sometimes it seemed to me he longed to be anywhere else but where he was. Maybe trapped in the past he was so reluctant to share with me. Then we started talking about time. I donât exactly remember why. I think he brought it up.
Anyway, Alex had a lot to say about time. Like how he believed our perception of time is tied to our experiences. For example, someone who spends their life not stepping up, not really taking risks or chances, just following along the stream, just following the routine, in essence, just killing time, might experience time as having moved fast when they look back, because there are simply less variety, less volume, less memories to look back on. We donât remember routines, we remember breaking them, we remember doing new things, meeting new people, being in new places. It creates the illusion that gives time volume, that makes it seem fuller, longer. I liked that idea a lot. It made sense to me. Make sure you live life to the fullest and waste as little time as possible.
I told him about my 10th grade math teacher and how he said something about time I will never forget. Our perception of time can be measured mathematically. For example, to a 4-year-old turning 5 the transition of a year will seem much longer than it will to a 24-year-old turning 25. Because 1 in 5 is a larger fraction than 1 in 25. It blew my mind. The longer you live, the faster time seem to pass. But I agreed with him, maybe the quality and variety of the life you live and the memories you make has an affect too. Alex made a ââboomââ motion with his hands around his head and laughed. We were quite stoned at that point and well, some of you might know how being stoned sometimes throws you into these philosophical conversations. It was nice. I enjoyed the ease with which I could talk to Alex about all kinds of things.
At one point I asked him a hypothetical. If he could go back in time and change just one thing, what would he do. He fell silent. I once again sensed the sadness creeping behind his eyes. It was if he was about to answer, like he was sizing me up but then shot the idea down. Time travel is impossible, so why bother was his only response and I accepted that whatever troubled him in the past, was not for me to know even if my interest only grew stronger and stronger.
I told him about my family. My overprotective mother. My father and his desperate attempts to get me interested in cars. About my older sister and my nephew. Alex nodded and asked the usual polite questions. When the subject came to my little brother his interest seemed to spark significantly. How old was he? Was I good older brother? Did I look out for him? I didnât think much about it at the time other than finding it curious how interested he seemed to be. When we finally settled in the for night, under the starry sky, I slipped into a nightmare. It was the same I had had years earlier when I was 16. Back then I was having a hard time adjusting to the new school I had started at and maybe because of that stress I was having nightmares coupled with sleep paralysis.
I would lie in my bed, paralyzed. On my side, facing the door to my room. I often had the light on outside of the room and it would shine in through the open door. This one time , I saw dark figure approaching. Optimistically I assumed it was my mom, coming to wake me up. Although as the dark figure approached, I quickly realized this wasnât so. No words were uttered. The eerie figure just slowly came closer, until it was right by my bed side. It sat down and I realized it was an old woman or man. It was hard to tell, because its face was literally just a mish mash of wrinkled flesh. No eyes and no mouth either. But it mumbled through its mouthless face. Speaking in tongues.
I spent some considerable time afterwards wondering what it could have been trying to communicate to me. I know of course, this was all just my mind playing tricks on me. Yet, that experience was, I suppose, my first nudge towards believing thereâs more between heaven and earth than we might know. It seemed aggressive in any case. My insides were screaming as I desperately tried to wiggle myself awake as I had sometimes successfully done during paralysis. I eventually woke up. Drenched in sweat. Back then though, I had actually been in my room, and in the dream the room had stood clearly for me as it actually looked in reality which only made it seem more real. This time, I woke up next to Alex, still drenched in sweat. Alex had woken up. I had screamed in my sleep apparently. He comforted me in an almost brotherly show of affection. It took me by surprise a bit. I appreciated it, though it only made me wonder about him even more. I would have to solve the mystery behind Alex I decided. I would have to truly gain his trust. Figure him out. And I did.
Phuket 26th of December 2000. 1 day before the tsunami.
ââAlex played the guitar a bit and I drummed up some beats. It needed some work, but not half bad. We came up with a name for our band to be as well. Subway sleepers. Based on Alexâs time sleeping in the subway of London. It was another hot perfect day on the rooftop. We talked about going climbing the next day and I canât wait to show Alex the joys of rock climbing. Everything is peaceful here. No stress. Just living life. Smoking it up. Meeting new people. We talked some more with that Norwegian weed dude and invited him and a couple of his friends up to ââourââ place for a party. Another near perfect day.ââ
Looking at these diary scribbles is making me feel it all over again. The serenity of those calm worriless summer days (well it was winter back home but it felt like summer here. Strange that) leading up to disaster. Always calmest before the storm they say. This was our last day before everything changed. Before I got a lesson in humanity. In stress under crisis. Before everything I thought I knew changed forever in the meeting with something that surely shouldnât exist in this world.
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ââEvery now and then I would stare at the murky brown water below and see several small glimpses of bright yellow popping up from and then retreating down below the surface in rhythmic fashion. Like a dance routine. Bright deadly yellow. The rotting sweet stench of death still lodged in my nostrils.ââ
I had happened upon these diary pages by mistake when I was digging through old boxes in my basement. My wife had insisted, finally, that I sort out and get rid of everything I didnât need. Now here I was, confronted with a part of my past I had tried to suppress unsuccessfully for so many years. 24 years to be exact. 24 odd years of trying to understand what exactly happened in those days when I was trapped on a rooftop in Phuket during a deadly and disastrous natural catastrophe.
24 odd years of having to dodge around questions of my abject and unwavering fear of the ocean. Well, in truth, I guess being caught in a large tsunami and witnessing immense destructive forces of nature coming directly from the great wide ocean would be a fair excuse, but it was only half the truth. It wasnât just the waves themselves that had terrified me.
Until now, I thought the water damaged remains of the diary I kept back then was lost. I even hoped it was. I never shared this story with anyone. Partly because the horror was too fresh in my memory back then and I wanted to focus on moving on with my life and by the time I felt my mind was stabilized I had no real interest in returning to that dark part of my past. Partly because the right words always escaped me.
Mostly because I was afraid people would think I was insane. I can no longer contain this, however. I need an outlet. I spend years running from it. But I guess I canât lie to myself anymore. Someone once told me that writing can be therapeutic. Simply putting your thoughts down on paper, or in our times, more likely in word document, can help you compartmentalize trauma. So, Iâm giving it a try. I canât pretend the events of those days in Phuket didnât cast a shadow over everything in my life that came after.
I often think of the beach days I missed with my son when he was a boy. Days where I shouldâve done dad stuff. Thrown him into the ocean. Watched him laugh his little face of as he braved the waves. Helped him build sandcastles. Gone exploring along the sandy shores in search of beached treasure in the form little rocks and the odd piece of amber. I just couldnât. Initially I had objected to the idea of him going at all. Naturally, my wife would hear none of that and I realized reluctantly, that my fear and trauma should not rule my sonâs life. Instead, my wife would go, and I would always stay home. She understood, to some degree, what I had gone through and where my fear came from.
Only to some degree. My son did not, and I fear he resented my absence on those perfect sunny days, despite my efforts to make up for it with other activities. Both he and my wife certainly noticed how closed off I was about certain parts of my past. Secrets untold, especially those who are grounded in trauma, almost inevitably turns to toxic in our systems. Iâm finally ready. I just hope it isnât too late.
I wonât lie. Iâve always had a vivid imagination although I have never had trouble distinguishing between what is real and what is not. At least until my sense of reality was forever challenged. I know these things happened to me. I know what I saw and what I experienced was real. I just donât have a truly rational explanation for it. Yet, I swear, there was something in the water that came with that tsunami. Something deeply, deeply unnatural. Something brightly and oddly yellow. I had no other word for it than the bright yellow terror.
I had travelled to Thailand, more precisely Bangkok late December 2000. 19 years old about to turn 20. I was on one of those infamous and increasingly popular self-discovery trips. I had caught the fever. Like so many other young hopeful adventurers at the time I had seen The Beach. I had read into the wild by Jon Krakauer.
I watched Dicaprio walk the sandy shores of paradise and read on in excitement and awe as Christopher McCandles set out to become one with nature and discover himself. Kill the false being within and all that. In simple terms, I thought Iâd try and find my own slice of heaven on earth. Expand my horizon. Get to know some new people. Learn something about myself in the process perhaps. I wasnât exactly fleeing from anything, that wasnât it. I had a loving although cuddling and overprotective family. Especially my mom would worry about me constantly (and still does).
Yes, I admit it. My parents had paved the way for me at almost every step. Made sure I got into the right schools. Made sure I never needed for money. I guess I got tired of feeling dependent on them. I stopped taking their money and saved up for the trip myself. It was time I stepped up. It was time I threw myself into the world to see what would happen. Hell of a time and place I picked for that.
The following story is based on the surviving pages of the diary I kept during the time and my own memory.
Bangkok 23rd December 2000. 4 days before the tsunami.
ââMy first day in Bangkok. Quite overwhelming but in a nice way. No one here to save me. No one here to tell me what to do. Thailand is hot and humid and thereâs something in the air. I think itâs adventure. I think itâs limitless opportunity. I met a monkey in a diaper and got thoroughly beaten and lost 100 bath in a game of connect four by some 10-year-old kid. Got scammed as well though, I will have to wise up and learn the ropes. Avoid the yellow taxis. Go for the Tuk Tuks. Well, lesson learned. I met a guy who told me all kinds of terrifying things about Australia. Robert. Iâm meeting him in Phuket a couple of days from now.ââ
You could probably imagine the excitement bubbling within me. For the first time on my own. 19 years old. Prime of my life. In a strangely new and exotic city. Possibilities seemed endless. I still remember vividly driving off with the wind in my hair in a tuk-tuk as Bangkok unfolded before me with all its oriental mysticism and surrounding cityscapes. To be fair, I had never even seen an honest to god palm tree before as they simply couldnât grow in the northern climate I was from.
I got myself stationed in a decent guesthouse around Khaosan Road. Everywhere I looked it seems others had gotten the same idea as me. Backpackers littered the streets and in a strange way, I felt at home amidst this quiet chaos, amidst the crowds of hopefully likeminded explorers, far, far away from home. The humidity was hitting me though, it was something I would have to get used to. It felt like a wet hot invisible blanket. Khaosan Road was perfect for me. A meeting place for young backpackers, with tons of opportunities to plan further travels. I did after all, not plan on staying in Bangkok for too long. It was just a stepping point to other adventures.
It was still early, and the humidity was clammy as hell. I was in the mood to socialize and with no real plans I simply ventured out into the streets of Bangkok, circling around the area where my guesthouse was located. It wasnât long before the first opportunity presented itself in the form of a taxi driver calling me over. He offered to take me on a tour of the city. Foolish and naĂŻve as I was, I indulged him. I remember how the cab driver lit up a doobie, joint, spliff, devilâs lettuce whatever you want to call it.
You know it as soon as you breathe in the air. Donât get me wrong, I smoked myself, but letting a clearly high person drive me around the busy Bangkok traffic did not seem like a good idea. I should probably have asked to be let out that very moment, but as the kind of timid, shy type of person I was plus the desire to just go along with whatever happened come what may made me stay. Unsurprisingly I was eventually led to a store, fitted for a suit a didnât want, and then subsequently charged an obscene amount for the cab ride. I didnât have the courage to refuse his unreasonable demand. Noteworthy mention. That same night I heard from a fellow traveler that just recently someone had been stabbed in an argument with a cab driver. I didnât let it get me down or drive me off course, because as youâve probably gathered by now, I didnât have a course.
As day turned to night and when the sunâs rays slowly disappeared behind the rooftops of Bangkok, the city itself began to transform. As if a part of it which had laid dormant, hidden away from the light, started to emerge.
Neon lights advertising different bars, people making all kinds of promises of untold pleasures and sensations. Tourists ready to party. All now filled the streets. Some seemed all too aware of what they were looking for, others simply drifted around aimlessly, in search of something unknown, something to spice up their existence. I found a small seemingly cool place called The Hangover. I swear to god, I wish to this day I hadnât. Maybe then I wouldnât have set my course for Phuket. In any case, I went in and pushed myself through the crowds of rowdy and loud tourists and up the bar where I ordered a Pina Colada. Please donât judge me. I just really like coconuts and the song is pretty good as well. Standing at the crowded bar and looking around, hoping something interesting would catch my eye. But most of all, I was hoping someone would just take the first step and come talk to me.
Someone did. His name was Robert, and he was from Australia. A tall skinny and no-nonsense older guy who seemed quite experienced with all things Thailand. He eventually invited me down to his group of friends at the far back end of the bar. Robert spared no time telling me about himself. He had worked all kinds of jobs, in all kinds of places. Most recently he had worked as a guide in Phuket. Among other things he had arranged rock climbing expeditions. I probably forgot to mention, I was big into rock climbing and generally all kinds of outdoor activities back then.
I already had quite the climbing experience despite my young age. As Robert talked about all the places heâd been, he made me feel like the novice I was. That was never his intention though, as I quickly learned. He wasnât a bragger. He just knew what he was talking about and when he laughed, he did it with his entire face and in a way that made you laugh with him and feel comfortable.
Eventually the conversation naturally gravitated towards Australia. A place I had always wanted to visit. He looked at me for a second, as if to contemplate something. Then told me to watch out for locals trying to play pranks on me. I was naturally interested in hearing more and thatâs when he told me about drop bears. Supposedly drop bears are carnivorous versions of Koalas residing in trees to then drop down on unsuspecting victims and viciously attack them. We laughed quite a lot, and I admitted I would probably have believed the stories as I was a fairly naive person and the idea of hostile subspecies of koalas didnât seem that farfetched to me. It would be typical of past me to get punked around like that. Our conversation then shifted towards Australian wildlife and fauna and the horrors residing within its diverse and complicated eco system. He told me about a plant not uncommonly referred to as the suicide plant. Dendrocnide moroides or more commonly known as stinging tree, stinging bush or gympie gympie apparently has such a nasty and painful sting it made a man commit suicide simply to escape the pain. Another dangerous inhabitant was the box jellyfish he explained.
Their sting was about as deadly as it gets. A single sting to a human will cause necrosis of the skin, excruciating pain and, if the dose of venom is large enough, cardiac arrest and death within minutes. I have always found jellyfish equal parts fascinating and equal parts frightening. Beautiful but deadly creatures. In fact, the ocean, in all its grand wide-reaching glory had always horrified me to some extent. So much unexplored space. Who truly knows what could be lurking down there? Robert quickly assured me, that as long as you take your precaution the likelihood of getting stung by a box jellyfish was rather small. They had signs up warning people against them. Generally, do not ignore these signs. They are there for a good reason.
It was getting late and before we said our goodbyes Robert suggested I meet him in Phuket, more precisely in the Khao Lak area on the 28th as that was the first day he would be able to. I thought why not? He seemed genuinely nice and knowledgeable. Just good company all around and he promised to show me the greatest climbing spots a bit away from the crowded tours. It was a start.
I would never meet Robert again. I donât know what happened to him. Thinking back on those days leading up to the point the waves came crashing down always gives me an uneasy, sad, and melancholic feeling. The people I met in Bangkok talking about going south. Those I met in Phuket before it happened. I have no idea if they ended up as corpses floating through the murky brown waters or god forbid, victims of that unholy terror from the deep. I hope Robert wasnât among those unfortunate souls who died or went⊠ââMissingââ. Although if I must pick one or the other. I would hope he died quickly.
Bangkok 24th of December 2000. 3 days before the tsunami.
I woke up with a slight hangover. Christmas is commonly celebrated on this date in my country, so I was expecting some calls to go through on my brick sized Nokia at some point once all the good folks back home woke up. They were about 5 hours behind me and at 9 AM Bangkok time they would still be sleeping. I used the time to do some shopping before my trip to Phuket. I got plenty of rope, a couple of snap hooks and a harness. I knew theyâd have all of this on the guided tours, but I liked to find my own spots to climb, and I had good sense and knowledge enough to not attempt anything too daring. By the way. For those uninitiated, snap hooks are used to make a quick, reversible connection on a system of ropes, or to connect a rope or cord to another component, like a lanyard medallion or barrier post. Essential if you want to go climbing. If youâve ever gone ziplining itâs the thing that connects you safely to the zipline and lets you slight across.
After having done my shopping, I bought a bus ticket to Phuket intending on leaving that same night and went back to my hotel room. As exciting as Bangkok was, I felt it was more for people intend on partying and in all honesty, a bit too crowded for me. I was excited to move on and I could always come back if I wanted to. On my way into the reception area, I was stopped by a young hip looking dude looking for a cigarette. Now I donât necessarily consider myself a perfect judge of character, but he had an easy-going way about him that immediately drew me in. Sometimes, you can just tell.
He had sort of a rugged look about him. Dirty blond half-long hair. His face I would best describe as boyish but something in his eyes betrayed him and revealed his age to be older than you would assume. His style was⊠Boheme I guess I would describe it as. Like something taken out of the 70s LA scene. Iâm not a smoker. Never was. So, I couldnât help him on that front. It didnât matter he would find someone else he said. For a while we just casually talked. Apparently, he had come to Bangkok just a few days prior and seemed about as lost and without direction as I had been before deciding on taking my chances in Phuket. Alex was his name, and he would later save my life and help me understand what it means to forge a quick and unbreakable connection through shared trauma, but Iâm getting ahead of myself.
He asked me if I wanted to go somewhere and get a beer. I thought why not? He was about my age and on his own as well. I told him I had to go make some calls and Iâd be out in about an hour. Back the hotel room I quickly gathered all my stuff and packed it up, so it was ready to go. My climbing gear took up the most space. I figured if things went well with Alex, I might be able to persuade him in joining me at some point in Phuket. Even though I had set out for this trip to be about discovering myself and being on my own, I longed for some kind of company. Donât we all? I called my parents up and we wished each other a happy Christmas. It was odd to think they were somewhere nearly half-way across the world celebrating Christmas while snow draped the landscapes there. Here I was, In hot and humid paradise. No, I did not miss the cold or the snow, but I did miss not being there to celebrate the holidays with my family. But it had been my choice to go during the holiday season and I did not regret it. I had saved up enough money and there was no point in waiting anymore. There would be many other holidays to celebrate in the future.
My 5-year-old nephew somehow got a hold of the phone. Not quite the conversationalist yet, it still felt good to hear his voice. Hearing his excitement over the prospect of celebrating Christmas brought me back to my own childhood. Decorating the Christmas tree, watching holiday cartoons and of course, opening presents. I finished my calls and went out to see if Alex was ready. He was already waiting for me and had apparently managed to score some cigarettes in the meantime. He had changed his outfit as well. Now wearing a faded black doors t-shirt. We talked a bit about Jim Morrison and the doors as we headed off down streets. We passed a myriad of small stands selling everything from electronics to colorful t-shirts and small bracelets with campy misspelled English catchphrases. We dodged the many intrusive offers and eventually found a small comfy looking bar with seats outside shaded by palm trees. We ordered a couple of beers and the conversation started flowing along quite nicely. Alex was 25 and from London It turned out. We also had a common interest in music. For a while he had busked as a street musician while working odd jobs here and there and had eventually decided to travel the world.
His first stop had been India where for a while he had lived on the rooftop of some abandoned building while attempting to learn the art of playing the sitar. I thought about that for a second. Living it rough on some rooftop in India. I donât know why that idea intrigued me so much. Seemed like freedom to me, I guess. Sleeping under the wide-open skies. Looking down on the streets and watching people go about their lives. I guess I just liked the idea of doing something that seemed different from what I had ever done before. Living on a rooftop, if even just for a while, was definitely not something I had done before. There was the view as well, Alex reminded me. And it was free of course. We drifted off into long conversations about music I wonât bore you too much with, only to let you know we shared a passion for old school music like the doors and Jimi Hendrix as well as 90s shoegaze music like My Bloody Valentine, Ride and Slowdive. I had Slowdiveâs Shine playing in my mind that day. All felt so dreamy at the time.
I eventually told Alex of my plans to go to Phuket and he was onboard almost immediately. I loved how easy it was here on the road. There was no ââwell maybeââ, or ââletâs think about it.ââ In fact, Alex had been to Phuket before and knew of a place we could stay for free. Another rooftop of course, but he had already sold me on the idea. From there, we could plan our next step he said. ââour next stepââ I donât remember vibing with someone that quickly before or since, but then I guess making friends is always easier when youâre young and easy going. I always seemed to attract good company without much effort back then. I chalk it down to my friendly and slightly shy demeanor. Seems it only becomes harder to make friends as the years pass though. At least for me it did.
We got a bus ticket for Alex and shopped a bit more. I got some first aid supplies. Bandages, plasters, that kind of stuff. Rock climbing is safe, mind you, but you can end up scraping yourself and I felt in general, being prepared for whatever might be a good idea if I was to live it rough on some rooftop. The bus-ride to Phuket took about 12 hours give or take. By going at night, we could sleep most of the way and be in Phuket early morning on the 25th. The trip down was uneventful. We would take turns listening to music on Alexâs Walkman or talk about things we saw along the way. Like roadside bars and restaurants who were little more than a tin roof covering a few plastic chairs and brightly colored menu cards. Everything seemed simpler here, in the best ways possible.
No big flash, no fanfares or luxury. Nothing pretentious. Just a calm, laid back atmosphere and friendly smiles from the locals as we passed by. Alex told me he wanted to start a band blending elements of Shoegaze with classic rock and insisted I learn to play the drums as he had tried but found no luck. String instruments were more him he told me. I told him jokingly if he could come up with a good name, I might be down. He just nodded and looked out the window and started talking about how beef was a rare and more expensive ingredient in Thai cuisine, and I wondered about the sudden random change of subject. Although we had talked a lot during the short time we had known each other, Alex was still a mystery to me in many ways. Judging from all the things he told me he seemed like a person who dreamed big, but never really followed through
An unfinished education. Scribbles on pieces of paper that ended up gathering dust in his drawer instead of turning into a book. A band that never really took off because he lost interest or didnât deem that it was good enough to get successful. He talked at length about leaving a legacy. It seemed to be something that concerned him. I guess he wanted to put his mark on the world. To be remembered. To live on in some small way. I had never really thought about it myself although I did have a fascination with historical people and the lives they lived. In fact, when I do read I mostly read biographies. I just never had any ambition like that myself. I donât need the world to know my name, or sing my praises, or remember me. Good friends, family and a sense of freedom and adventure was enough. I had tried to ask Alex about his family and friends back home, but he seemed avoidant and always found a way to change the subject without really providing any meaningful information. At certain points, I sensed a carefully hidden sadness behind his otherwise optimistically youthful and bright blue gaze.
Phuket 25th of December 2000. 2 days before the tsunami.
Alex woke me up. It was 9 AM and we had arrived at the Phuket bus terminal 1 near Phang Nga Road. We were here. Alex explained to me that the there were several derelict and abandoned buildings perfect for establishing a free of charge rooftop domicile in an area not too far from the resorts of Khao Lak. Phuket back then wasnât exactly the overcrowded tourist spot it is today, but it was well on the way. I understood why. The scenery was beautiful. Long sandy beaches with small island dots in the horizon, begging to be explored. Giant limestone cliffs covered in green shrubs. It did seem like paradise to me, without being too far away from civilization. I guess despite my adventurous nature, I wasnât quite ready at that point, to walk into the wild, which is why Khao Lak seemed perfect as a start for me.
We found the area Alex had talked about. Several derelict buildings were concentrated in a small area divided by a main street that if followed long enough, led to an area with shops and places to dine. We set our eyes on what looked like an abandoned apartment complex. It was derelict, rugged looking and it seemed clear at first that no one lived there. Its ghostly façade begged us inside to explore and we accepted the invitation. As we made our way in, through a busted window in the back, we quickly became aware that the place might not be as abandoned as we had initially thought. Several signs of squatters such as cooking utensils and sleeping mats lay scattered here and there. Alex quickly rationalized that it could just be other backpackers, or it could be the people had moved on. I shrugged and we decided to make our way to the roof. We made our way to the top floor and accessed a broken-down door that led directly out onto the roof. I must admit, besides excitement, I was somewhat hesitant. Any doubt I had disappeared when we first stepped onto the rooftop terrace. It was perfect. It seemed it had functioned as a balcony or space of sorts the inhabitants could make use of for gatherings.
The entire space was surrounded by a fence. Several palm trees shaded the northwest corner which was perfect for when things got too hot. In the middle a small shed or janitorial sort of building stood. We found some cleaning materials, brooms, some parasols in there as well as an old rusty grill. The view was great. We could see the large beachfront in the far distance surrounded by limestones. After inspecting the area and finding it to our liking we sat down, and Alex broke out a bottle of whiskey. Unaware of the horror that would later unfold here, we celebrated in the shade of the palm trees. We had found our place for a while. Our place.
After a while we decided to put some money in the local economy and shop for supplies.
Essentials: Water. Cigarettes. Booze. The devilâs lettuce. Cooking utensils. Although none of us was admittedly any much of a cook. But what the hell. Canât be seen dining out every night when we were trying to live off the fat of the land so to speak. I know, ridiculous. We were squatters. Nothing more. But heck, we would move on if we became a problem for any one here. We werenât trying to be a bother.
Optional but greatly wanted: A blow-up animal mascot. Maybe a dolphin if possible. Some new music for Alexâs walk-man. A guitar. Decorating artifacts of any kind to make our domicile more personal.
We more or less got everything we needed and started setting up base. Getting our hands on something funny to smoke proved the biggest challenge but Alex finally succeeded at a beachfront bar. Some friendly Norwegian dude who had connections apparently. He warned us against being too open about doing drugs, even if was ââjustââ marijuana. Thailand had a strict approach to drugs. We thanked him and he told us to just come back here at the bar if we needed more, he was usually around.
Afternoon was rolling around and there we were. Sitting atop Phuket. On our very own rooftop presidential suite. We decorated the place with a few things we found. Among them ââArthurââ our blow-up shark (they had no dolphins). Alex had come up with the name, I asked him why ââArthurââ but in what I had quickly come to know as typical Alex fashion he just shrugged it off. We just smoked a bit and drank some booze as the evening progressed and I told Alex about Robert and Australia and all the nasty things that could kill you there. Iâm not sure why, but it had made an impression on me. Insects, rare poisonous creatures, stuff like that was nightmare fuel for me. Donât even get me started on spiders. Alex was a bit more laid back on that front. He seemed most amused and interested in the suicide plant and wondered if some poor soul had ever mistakenly used it as toilet paper and we had a good hard chuckle over that idea. Poor soul indeed.
As night rolled on stars started popping up on a clear night the sky and I learned that Alex had a fascination with the universe. Particularly the idea of multiverses and infinite universes. What if somewhere out there we were looking back at ourselves. Slightly different but still us. Sometimes it seemed to me he longed to be anywhere else but where he was. Maybe trapped in the past he was so reluctant to share with me. Then we started talking about time. I donât exactly remember why. I think he brought it up.
Anyway, Alex had a lot to say about time. Like how he believed our perception of time is tied to our experiences. For example, someone who spends their life not stepping up, not really taking risks or chances, just following along the stream, just following the routine, in essence, just killing time, might experience time as having moved fast when they look back, because there are simply less variety, less volume, less memories to look back on. We donât remember routines, we remember breaking them, we remember doing new things, meeting new people, being in new places. It creates the illusion that gives time volume, that makes it seem fuller, longer. I liked that idea a lot. It made sense to me. Make sure you live life to the fullest and waste as little time as possible.
I told him about my 10th grade math teacher and how he said something about time I will never forget. Our perception of time can be measured mathematically. For example, to a 4-year-old turning 5 the transition of a year will seem much longer than it will to a 24-year-old turning 25. Because 1 in 5 is a larger fraction than 1 in 25. It blew my mind. The longer you live, the faster time seem to pass. But I agreed with him, maybe the quality and variety of the life you live and the memories you make has an affect too. Alex made a ââboomââ motion with his hands around his head and laughed. We were quite stoned at that point and well, some of you might know how being stoned sometimes throws you into these philosophical conversations. It was nice. I enjoyed the ease with which I could talk to Alex about all kinds of things.
At one point I asked him a hypothetical. If he could go back in time and change just one thing, what would he do. He fell silent. I once again sensed the sadness creeping behind his eyes. It was if he was about to answer, like he was sizing me up but then shot the idea down. Time travel is impossible, so why bother was his only response and I accepted that whatever troubled him in the past, was not for me to know even if my interest only grew stronger and stronger.
I told him about my family. My overprotective mother. My father and his desperate attempts to get me interested in cars. About my older sister and my nephew. Alex nodded and asked the usual polite questions. When the subject came to my little brother his interest seemed to spark significantly. How old was he? Was I good older brother? Did I look out for him? I didnât think much about it at the time other than finding it curious how interested he seemed to be. When we finally settled in the for night, under the starry sky, I slipped into a nightmare. It was the same I had had years earlier when I was 16. Back then I was having a hard time adjusting to the new school I had started at and maybe because of that stress I was having nightmares coupled with sleep paralysis.
I would lie in my bed, paralyzed. On my side, facing the door to my room. I often had the light on outside of the room and it would shine in through the open door. This one time , I saw dark figure approaching. Optimistically I assumed it was my mom, coming to wake me up. Although as the dark figure approached, I quickly realized this wasnât so. No words were uttered. The eerie figure just slowly came closer, until it was right by my bed side. It sat down and I realized it was an old woman or man. It was hard to tell, because its face was literally just a mish mash of wrinkled flesh. No eyes and no mouth either. But it mumbled through its mouthless face. Speaking in tongues.
I spent some considerable time afterwards wondering what it could have been trying to communicate to me. I know of course, this was all just my mind playing tricks on me. Yet, that experience was, I suppose, my first nudge towards believing thereâs more between heaven and earth than we might know. It seemed aggressive in any case. My insides were screaming as I desperately tried to wiggle myself awake as I had sometimes successfully done during paralysis. I eventually woke up. Drenched in sweat. Back then though, I had actually been in my room, and in the dream the room had stood clearly for me as it actually looked in reality which only made it seem more real. This time, I woke up next to Alex, still drenched in sweat. Alex had woken up. I had screamed in my sleep apparently. He comforted me in an almost brotherly show of affection. It took me by surprise a bit. I appreciated it, though it only made me wonder about him even more. I would have to solve the mystery behind Alex I decided. I would have to truly gain his trust. Figure him out. And I did.
Phuket 26th of December 2000. 1 day before the tsunami.
ââAlex played the guitar a bit and I drummed up some beats. It needed some work, but not half bad. We came up with a name for our band to be as well. Subway sleepers. Based on Alexâs time sleeping in the subway of London. It was another hot perfect day on the rooftop. We talked about going climbing the next day and I canât wait to show Alex the joys of rock climbing. Everything is peaceful here. No stress. Just living life. Smoking it up. Meeting new people. We talked some more with that Norwegian weed dude and invited him and a couple of his friends up to ââourââ place for a party. Another near perfect day.ââ
Looking at these diary scribbles is making me feel it all over again. The serenity of those calm worriless summer days (well it was winter back home but it felt like summer here. Strange that) leading up to disaster. Always calmest before the storm they say. This was our last day before everything changed. Before I got a lesson in humanity. In stress under crisis. Before everything I thought I knew changed forever in the meeting with something that surely shouldnât exist in this world.
2024.05.19 19:19 lilsimp327 Can you start with an electric guitar?
I'm very new to guitars and know basically next to nothing. I like rock music a lot, eg Sweet Child of Mine but not that crazy about songs with traditional, acoustic guitars (sorry in advance if it offends anyone). I wanna learn to play the electric guitar but my dad insists you need to start with an acoustic, box guitar, master it and then move to electric. I feel like I'd prolly give up in the middle if that's the case but if there's no way around, I wish to power through. What should I do?
submitted by lilsimp327 to Guitar [link] [comments]
2024.05.19 19:03 Easy-Perception-4402 29 [M4F] #Germany - Are you struggling with life? I help!
Do you spend a lot of your time day dreaming what life would be like with your perfect match? Would that life consist of lots of quality time spent together, shared hobbies, travelling together, supporting each other and sharing not just the good times? Are your passions a weird conglomerate of sciency and artsy topics? We might just be a match. No, this is not an infomercial.
What makes finding my match somewhat difficult i,0s that my personality is all over the place, I can't really be put into a box and I dream of finding someone I'm deeply compatible with. I have a PhD in physics/math and work in a related field, involving IT and programming. My take on life is rather critical, rational and I'm not religious. BUT I'm also very by morals, emotional in certain aspects and my biggest aspiration in life is having a happy, fulfilling relationship where we are inseparable, each others best friend and more. A soulmate sorta thing if you wish, even though souls obviously don't exist...right?
Soo what are my passions that we could hopefully share together? I have to get the cliché out of the way first, I'm really big on films/tv shows/video games/manga and some books. It's not just something I consume to overcome boredom though, I'm extremely interested in stories and the art of story telling. My tastes are varied and something that would be fun to discuss, some of the things I like:
Still with me? Some other things I enjoy:
Appearance wise, 183 cm, caucasian, slimish/fitish/averageish build, short dark brown hair and eyes. Finally, I'll finish off with an arbitrary list of traits that describe me and I'm simultaneously seeking out in a woman: sense of humour (did that come across...like, at all? Writing this post I felt like it was all rather serious at times, because I take this seriously, but my style of communication is more light hearted, being silly together, not taking everything too seriously, but being able to talk maturely should the situation require), responsible, curious, reliable, trustworthy, loyal, honest to a fault, dedicated, creative, self-aware, honest again because it's important, thoughtful, caring, kind but not a pushover, enjoys arguing/debating, romantic, sweet. If you have a (very?) k1nky side that would be the cherry on top, but it's not a must and all in due time.
Have a virtual cookie for making it this far. Now don't be shy and send me a PM already, telling me what's on your mind. If you send a chat and I don't reply, send a little PM as a follow up in case the chat didn't work.
submitted by Easy-Perception-4402 to r4r [link] [comments]
What makes finding my match somewhat difficult i,0s that my personality is all over the place, I can't really be put into a box and I dream of finding someone I'm deeply compatible with. I have a PhD in physics/math and work in a related field, involving IT and programming. My take on life is rather critical, rational and I'm not religious. BUT I'm also very by morals, emotional in certain aspects and my biggest aspiration in life is having a happy, fulfilling relationship where we are inseparable, each others best friend and more. A soulmate sorta thing if you wish, even though souls obviously don't exist...right?
Soo what are my passions that we could hopefully share together? I have to get the cliché out of the way first, I'm really big on films/tv shows/video games/manga and some books. It's not just something I consume to overcome boredom though, I'm extremely interested in stories and the art of story telling. My tastes are varied and something that would be fun to discuss, some of the things I like:
- weird, obscure horror movies that sometimes make me wonder if anyone else on the planet has ever seen them (spoiler: yes they have). Also horror movies in general.
- "artsy, deeper" movies without bordering into pretentiousness, a line that is entirely subjective but I shall still defend as if an objective truth. Kubrick I really like, also Disney.
- big sucker for romantic comedies and enjoy some goofy comedies as well.
- mostly story driven, single player games, Life is Strange would be an example of a game that had a deeper impact on me, wowser.
- would enjoy getting into multiplayer games together, I consider it a fantastic way to bond. Mario Kart (GoldenEye?) should be obligatory for a couple, friendly trash talking included (or not so friendly, if you're into that). LoL? Yes please (even though I hate it)
- I already feel like it's getting too long (that's what she said) but I enjoy the Harry Potter books and don't like when people call them children's books. They contain more wisdom about life than most literature classics.
Still with me? Some other things I enjoy:
- music, especially older stuff rock, pop, some metal, classical and soundtracks!
- photography, especially nature & architecture. Going on a hike or exploring nature with the intent of taking pictures gives you a whole new outlook on things.
- running, that would be a really fun activity to share together as well.
- cooking and every now and then baking. Let me cook a romantic dinner for you?
- travelling! I've somewhat dipped my toe into the digital nomad thing in the last year and loved it. Exploring a new city/country is super exciting to me. My style of travelling is definitely more adventurous. I like being out and about all day and see as much as I can in the time I'm there, doing a moderate but not too crazy amount of research beforehand about attractions. I like a certain degree of spontaneity and some days where we would just walk wherever the wind carries us. Long... really long walks on the beach are the best, especially at night. That being said, I also enjoy a day laying at the beach, café hopping, exploring restaurants or a mall haha. My favourite place so far has been Japan for sure (not a weeb I swear)(lot's of malls here!). If you're a solo traveller let me know. If you're younger or haven't travelled so much, this is not a deal breaker. As long as you're curious and open minded with a sense for adventure.
Appearance wise, 183 cm, caucasian, slimish/fitish/averageish build, short dark brown hair and eyes. Finally, I'll finish off with an arbitrary list of traits that describe me and I'm simultaneously seeking out in a woman: sense of humour (did that come across...like, at all? Writing this post I felt like it was all rather serious at times, because I take this seriously, but my style of communication is more light hearted, being silly together, not taking everything too seriously, but being able to talk maturely should the situation require), responsible, curious, reliable, trustworthy, loyal, honest to a fault, dedicated, creative, self-aware, honest again because it's important, thoughtful, caring, kind but not a pushover, enjoys arguing/debating, romantic, sweet. If you have a (very?) k1nky side that would be the cherry on top, but it's not a must and all in due time.
Have a virtual cookie for making it this far. Now don't be shy and send me a PM already, telling me what's on your mind. If you send a chat and I don't reply, send a little PM as a follow up in case the chat didn't work.
2024.05.19 18:59 ExaminationOk9732 [MI] [Condo] Help please! Board using (Al, Chat GPT) to rewrite By-Laws
Hello! I've also posted this on other HOA sites and am still trying to get as much information and knowledge about this as possible! Thanks for your help!
Our HOA board has a new member who took our 32 page bylaws document, written in 1974 and has lots of legal writing (some of which are state/federal laws governing HOAs) and fed it through ChatGPT and reduced it to SEVEN pages, which are now predominantly stating what the board can and will do to have more control. I asked if she was going to run it past a lawyer before finalizing and she said they donât have to! I find this hilarious and scary as they will probably open themselves up to lawsuits and co-owners will have no idea what to do, recourse, etc. oh, the member has repeatedly told the board she is qualified to do this because she has her PhD⊠she didnât tell them it was in Music Education and she got it in the 70s⊠I looked at her LinkedIn. WTF?!?
Iâm kind of looking at it from the viewpoint of they will screw themselves when owners start doing (or not doing) stuff and can say âItâs not in the bylaws!â They were going to send them out for approval, but the board has now decided to rewrite the Rules & Regulations. Iâm anxious to see if they add stuff from the bylaws to the rules & regs. They (the board) went absolutely bat-shit crazy when one of the new board members (who is sane & rational) sent out the reserve study to all owners. She did this because everyone knew it had been done, we paid for it, and no one was telling us what it said! It wasnât posted on the portal and if you go through it you can actually see that we are so far behind in reserves and maintenance itâs gonna really kick us bad. Thanks to anyone who can offer constructive insight⊠itâs really hard for me to keep a straight face when these folks are saying how âtechnically progressiveâ they are, when they still have boxes and boxes of documents, minutes, etc., that have never been digitized because our PM used Quickbooks years ago and never figured out to to export anything as a PDF or spreadsheet!
submitted by ExaminationOk9732 to legal [link] [comments]
Our HOA board has a new member who took our 32 page bylaws document, written in 1974 and has lots of legal writing (some of which are state/federal laws governing HOAs) and fed it through ChatGPT and reduced it to SEVEN pages, which are now predominantly stating what the board can and will do to have more control. I asked if she was going to run it past a lawyer before finalizing and she said they donât have to! I find this hilarious and scary as they will probably open themselves up to lawsuits and co-owners will have no idea what to do, recourse, etc. oh, the member has repeatedly told the board she is qualified to do this because she has her PhD⊠she didnât tell them it was in Music Education and she got it in the 70s⊠I looked at her LinkedIn. WTF?!?
Iâm kind of looking at it from the viewpoint of they will screw themselves when owners start doing (or not doing) stuff and can say âItâs not in the bylaws!â They were going to send them out for approval, but the board has now decided to rewrite the Rules & Regulations. Iâm anxious to see if they add stuff from the bylaws to the rules & regs. They (the board) went absolutely bat-shit crazy when one of the new board members (who is sane & rational) sent out the reserve study to all owners. She did this because everyone knew it had been done, we paid for it, and no one was telling us what it said! It wasnât posted on the portal and if you go through it you can actually see that we are so far behind in reserves and maintenance itâs gonna really kick us bad. Thanks to anyone who can offer constructive insight⊠itâs really hard for me to keep a straight face when these folks are saying how âtechnically progressiveâ they are, when they still have boxes and boxes of documents, minutes, etc., that have never been digitized because our PM used Quickbooks years ago and never figured out to to export anything as a PDF or spreadsheet!
2024.05.19 18:58 EnTaroBurritos Staying in LA or...not?
Hey folks! Unfortunately, my ex and I are going our separate ways due to life taking us in other directions. I'm 42 with a good job that will allow me to work remotely, so I have been wondering if it is going to be better for me to stay in Los Angeles, or to consider other cities around the country. I have been in LA all my life and I have family and friends here, but the COL is absolutely insane for someone who is single, and I don't relish the thought of paying a premium to live in a box with my cat.
I'm hoping to get some feedback on other cities that I should be considering. I'd love to live in a city with liberal values, a thriving music and arts scene, and with affordable housing options under $2k/month. I enjoy walking around and having access to good running trails (inside the city or outside of it), and I would love to also be able to socialize with folks with diverse backgrounds. Access to snowboarding would be a plus, and a major airport that would allow me to travel inside the US and internationally would be great too.
I know that moving out of LA would be a huge change, especially weather-wise, but I don't want that to stop me from having the opportunity to explore a new way of living. I'm not in a hurry to make any changes right now, but I do want to start looking into my options sooner rather than later.
submitted by EnTaroBurritos to relocating [link] [comments]
I'm hoping to get some feedback on other cities that I should be considering. I'd love to live in a city with liberal values, a thriving music and arts scene, and with affordable housing options under $2k/month. I enjoy walking around and having access to good running trails (inside the city or outside of it), and I would love to also be able to socialize with folks with diverse backgrounds. Access to snowboarding would be a plus, and a major airport that would allow me to travel inside the US and internationally would be great too.
I know that moving out of LA would be a huge change, especially weather-wise, but I don't want that to stop me from having the opportunity to explore a new way of living. I'm not in a hurry to make any changes right now, but I do want to start looking into my options sooner rather than later.
2024.05.19 18:45 adulting4kids Genre Specific Prompts
- Fantasy:
- "The ancient tree in the heart of the forest whispered secrets only the chosen could understand."
- Science Fiction:
- "The malfunctioning time machine thrust them into a future where humanity faced extinction."
- Mystery:
- "A cryptic message in a bottle washed ashore, hinting at a long-buried treasure."
- Romance:
- "Their paths crossed at a masquerade ball, igniting a clandestine romance under the masks."
- Horror:
- "The eerie melody played by a broken music box summoned something otherworldly."
- Historical Fiction:
- "An unlikely friendship formed on the battlefield, transcending sworn allegiances."
- Thriller:
- "A coded message hidden within a famous painting triggered a high-stakes pursuit."
- Adventure:
- "The discovery of a hidden map led to a perilous quest through uncharted waters."
- Dystopian:
- "In a society segregated by classes, a forbidden love threatened to dismantle the system."
- Comedy:
- "A case of mistaken identity at a prestigious gala led to uproarious chaos and hilarity."
2024.05.19 18:38 _Triple_ [STORE] 900+ KNIVES/GLOVES/SKINS, 100.000$+ INVENTORY. BFK Lore, Gloves Amphibious, Skeleton Fade, Bowie Emerald, BFK Auto, Gloves MF, Talon Doppler, Gloves POW, Bayo Tiger, Gut Sapphire, Stiletto MF, M9 Ultra, Ursus Doppler, Flip Doppler, M9 Stained, Nomad CW, Paracord CW, AK-47 X-Ray & A Lot More
Everything in my inventory is up for trade. The most valuable items are listed here, the rest you can find in My Inventory
Feel free to Add Me or even better send a Trade Offer. Open for any suggestions: upgrades, downgrades / knives, gloves, skins / stickers, patterns, floats.
All Buyouts are listed in cash value.
KNIVES
â Butterfly Knife Lore (Factory New), B/O: $7194.77
â Butterfly Knife Autotronic (Minimal Wear), B/O: $2025.74
âŻâ M9 Bayonet Ultraviolet (Field-Tested), B/O: $557.87
â M9 Bayonet Stained (Well-Worn), B/O: $529.41
â M9 Bayonet Boreal Forest (Field-Tested), B/O: $465.39
âŻâ Talon Knife Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $1295.27
â Bayonet Tiger Tooth (Minimal Wear), B/O: $746.28
â Karambit Bright Water (Field-Tested), B/O: $688.15
âŻâ Flip Knife Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $547.93
â Flip Knife Autotronic (Minimal Wear), B/O: $476.69
â Flip Knife Case Hardened (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $278.18
â Flip Knife Black Laminate (Well-Worn), B/O: $258.83
â Flip Knife Urban Masked (Field-Tested), B/O: $181.64
âŻâ Stiletto Knife Marble Fade (Factory New), B/O: $686.04
â Stiletto Knife Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $665.41
â Stiletto Knife, B/O: $601.39
â Stiletto Knife Crimson Web (Field-Tested), B/O: $418.25
â Stiletto Knife Night Stripe (Field-Tested), B/O: $227.80
â Stiletto Knife Boreal Forest (Field-Tested), B/O: $194.96
â Stiletto Knife Safari Mesh (Field-Tested), B/O: $192.79
âŻâ Nomad Knife Crimson Web (Field-Tested), B/O: $518.11
â Nomad Knife Scorched (Field-Tested), B/O: $169.78
â Nomad Knife Forest DDPAT (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $166.88
â StatTrakâą Nomad Knife Blue Steel (Field-Tested), B/O: $335.79
âŻâ Skeleton Knife Stained (Well-Worn), B/O: $442.05
â Skeleton Knife Urban Masked (Minimal Wear), B/O: $426.24
â Skeleton Knife Boreal Forest (Field-Tested), B/O: $314.03
â StatTrakâą Skeleton Knife Fade (Minimal Wear), B/O: $2361.28
â StatTrakâą Skeleton Knife Urban Masked (Field-Tested), B/O: $376.53
âŻâ Ursus Knife Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $557.12
â Ursus Knife, B/O: $471.42
â Ursus Knife Blue Steel (Minimal Wear), B/O: $212.37
â Ursus Knife Case Hardened (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $187.66
â Ursus Knife Damascus Steel (Field-Tested), B/O: $178.18
â Ursus Knife Ultraviolet (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $155.13
â Ursus Knife Boreal Forest (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $124.26
âŻâ Huntsman Knife Black Laminate (Minimal Wear), B/O: $204.83
â Huntsman Knife Black Laminate (Field-Tested), B/O: $184.50
â StatTrakâą Huntsman Knife Lore (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $224.11
âŻâ Bowie Knife Gamma Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $2142.02
â Bowie Knife, B/O: $230.44
â Bowie Knife Damascus Steel (Factory New), B/O: $209.20
â Bowie Knife Ultraviolet (Minimal Wear), B/O: $180.51
â Bowie Knife Ultraviolet (Field-Tested), B/O: $131.03
âŻâ Falchion Knife Night (Field-Tested), B/O: $132.54
â Falchion Knife Urban Masked (Well-Worn), B/O: $112.81
â Falchion Knife Scorched (Field-Tested), B/O: $108.81
â Falchion Knife Forest DDPAT (Field-Tested), B/O: $107.82
â Falchion Knife Safari Mesh (Field-Tested), B/O: $107.46
â StatTrakâą Falchion Knife Ultraviolet (Field-Tested), B/O: $143.08
âŻâ Paracord Knife Crimson Web (Minimal Wear), B/O: $486.48
â Paracord Knife Blue Steel (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $163.12
âŻâ Survival Knife Blue Steel (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $138.26
â Survival Knife Night Stripe (Field-Tested), B/O: $131.03
âŻâ Gut Knife Sapphire (Minimal Wear), B/O: $1127.79
â Gut Knife Gamma Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $286.17
â Gut Knife Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $246.55
â Gut Knife Marble Fade (Factory New), B/O: $240.77
â Gut Knife, B/O: $210.49
â Gut Knife Lore (Field-Tested), B/O: $194.22
â Gut Knife Case Hardened (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $151.51
â Gut Knife Blue Steel (Minimal Wear), B/O: $124.94
â Gut Knife Rust Coat (Well-Worn), B/O: $118.99
â Gut Knife Boreal Forest (Minimal Wear), B/O: $109.80
â StatTrakâą Gut Knife Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $237.96
âŻâ Shadow Daggers Gamma Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $264.92
â Shadow Daggers Marble Fade (Factory New), B/O: $253.03
â Shadow Daggers Tiger Tooth (Factory New), B/O: $237.22
â Shadow Daggers Crimson Web (Field-Tested), B/O: $153.40
â Shadow Daggers Autotronic (Minimal Wear), B/O: $144.42
â Shadow Daggers Blue Steel (Field-Tested), B/O: $105.20
â StatTrakâą Shadow Daggers Damascus Steel (Minimal Wear), B/O: $150.46
âŻâ Navaja Knife Fade (Factory New), B/O: $365.99
â Navaja Knife Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $228.93
â Navaja Knife Marble Fade (Factory New), B/O: $227.43
â Navaja Knife Slaughter (Factory New), B/O: $209.06
â Navaja Knife, B/O: $203.16
â Navaja Knife Case Hardened (Well-Worn), B/O: $132.57
â Navaja Knife Damascus Steel (Factory New), B/O: $121.69
â Navaja Knife Damascus Steel (Minimal Wear), B/O: $109.95
â Navaja Knife Damascus Steel (Field-Tested), B/O: $100.41
â StatTrakâą Navaja Knife Fade (Factory New), B/O: $369.01
â StatTrakâą Navaja Knife Damascus Steel (Field-Tested), B/O: $109.95
GLOVES
â Sport Gloves Amphibious (Minimal Wear), B/O: $2394.67
â Sport Gloves Omega (Well-Worn), B/O: $572.33
â Sport Gloves Bronze Morph (Minimal Wear), B/O: $338.88
â Sport Gloves Big Game (Field-Tested), B/O: $323.66
âŻâ Specialist Gloves Marble Fade (Minimal Wear), B/O: $1652.07
â Specialist Gloves Tiger Strike (Field-Tested), B/O: $599.14
â Specialist Gloves Crimson Web (Well-Worn), B/O: $231.57
â Specialist Gloves Buckshot (Minimal Wear), B/O: $126.21
âŻâ Moto Gloves POW! (Minimal Wear), B/O: $996.99
â Moto Gloves POW! (Field-Tested), B/O: $383.31
â Moto Gloves POW! (Well-Worn), B/O: $276.00
â Moto Gloves Turtle (Field-Tested), B/O: $180.28
âŻâ Hand Wraps CAUTION! (Minimal Wear), B/O: $502.29
â Hand Wraps Giraffe (Minimal Wear), B/O: $180.73
â Hand Wraps CAUTION! (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $178.32
âŻâ Driver Gloves Queen Jaguar (Minimal Wear), B/O: $181.01
â Driver Gloves Rezan the Red (Field-Tested), B/O: $101.66
âŻâ Broken Fang Gloves Jade (Field-Tested), B/O: $127.88
â Broken Fang Gloves Needle Point (Minimal Wear), B/O: $124.55
âŻâ Bloodhound Gloves Guerrilla (Minimal Wear), B/O: $127.94
â Hydra Gloves Case Hardened (Field-Tested), B/O: $102.55
WEAPONS
AK-47 X-Ray (Well-Worn), B/O: $478.95
AUG Hot Rod (Factory New), B/O: $425.83
StatTrakâą M4A1-S Hyper Beast (Factory New), B/O: $413.95
M4A4 Daybreak (Factory New), B/O: $309.51
StatTrakâą AK-47 Aquamarine Revenge (Factory New), B/O: $305.43
AK-47 Case Hardened (Well-Worn), B/O: $196.38
StatTrakâą M4A4 Temukau (Minimal Wear), B/O: $174.64
P90 Run and Hide (Field-Tested), B/O: $167.03
AWP Asiimov (Field-Tested), B/O: $153.33
Souvenir SSG 08 Death Strike (Minimal Wear), B/O: $140.00
M4A1-S Printstream (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $124.70
StatTrakâą M4A1-S Golden Coil (Field-Tested), B/O: $117.48
AWP Asiimov (Well-Worn), B/O: $115.97
StatTrakâą Desert Eagle Printstream (Minimal Wear), B/O: $112.96
StatTrakâą AK-47 Asiimov (Minimal Wear), B/O: $110.85
Souvenir M4A1-S Master Piece (Well-Worn), B/O: $102.42
AK-47 Bloodsport (Minimal Wear), B/O: $100.53
Trade Offer Link - Steam Profile Link - My Inventory
Some items on the list may no longer be available or are still locked, visit My Inventory for more details.
Send a Trade Offer for fastest response. I consider all offers.
Add me for discuss if there is a serious offer that needs to be discussed.
2024.05.19 18:31 evoterra 10 More Finished Dramatized Audio Fiction Shows For Your Sunday Enjoyment!
Last Thursday, the 89th issue of The Endâs weekly newsletter went to thousands of inboxes around the world, letting subscribers know what audio fiction showsâfull-cast audiodramas and moreârecently reached the conclusion of the series, a season finale, or have a new season starting soon.
Hereâs a rundown of just the dramatized audio fiction stories that were a part of that, with more details behind each link:
Supreme: The Battle for Roe âą âïžđ©ââïžđšââïž Dramatized political thriller from Aaron Tracy, Kelly & Kelly, and iHeart. Nominated for a 2024 Ambies Award for Best Fiction Podcast. All episodes available as of 16 Aug 2023. Listen to all 9 episodes in 5h 28m.
Dark Sanctum âą đšđ±đ«š Dramatized horror thriller from Mark Ramsey Media LLC & Realm. Audio is one of the stars of the series. It is fundamental to the choice of stories and the way the stories unfold. Final episode of Season 1 posted on 1 Mar 2023. Listen to the 7 current episodes in 2h 29m. Next season: Slated for Mar 2024.
Time Travel-ish âą Current title count in this collection: 21
Wormholes, police boxes, ancient tomes, and other explorations of jumping around in time.
Work Sucks, We Know âą Current title count in this collection: 12
Tales of the grind, making the bacon, office romance, and generally celebrating(?) capitalism, baby!
The Flight of the Bucket âą đđȘđ©âđ Dramatized scifi comedy series from Adam Arthur, Troy Burnette, and Superhappy Productions. Final episode of Season 1 posted on 13 May 2024. Listen to the 10 current episodes in 3h 48m. Next season: Slated for Nov 2024.
Season 2 of The BEAM Chronicles, a dramatized scifi superhero series from MJ Dooney, starts on 18 May 2024. Catch up with the current 25 episodes in 12h 35m. đ„â ïžâïž
Season 2 of Remote, a dramatized parapsychological psych-fi thriller from Matthew Heinze and Hertz Up, starts on 21 May 2024. Catch up with the current 8 episodes in 2h 29m. đ”âđ«đŻđ€
Joys and Splendors âą đČâïžđ Dramatized spy thriller series from Kate Werneburg, Winterbird, and TACTICS Theatre Group. Created and produced by women and LGBTQ people. All episodes available as of 18 Nov 2023. Listen to all 3 episodes in 1h 52m.
Tobias and Syd âą đČđŹđ Dramatized time travel romance series from Elspeth Penny & 2BU Productions. Wins! 3rd in the Audio Fiction World Cup 2023 and the top UK podcast! Winner Best Audio Fiction Standalone, Sydney Webfest 2023, Winner Best Audio Fiction Standalone Apulia Web fest 2023; Winner Best Narration Baltimore Next Media Fest... Ell Potter. This one is weird. Like a fevered dream from smoking too much tobacco. Or something else. But it sounds incredible! All 4 episodes of this limited series are available as of 20 Jan 2023 for a listening time of 1h 08m.
Almelem âą đđđ°ïž Dramatized historical fiction series from Sean Williams & Gideon Media. This show spends time looking at the female and non-binary characters that have been left out of the early church mythology. All episodes available as of 15 Dec 2022. Listen to all 5 episodes in 2h 38m.
The Other Path âą đ§ââïžđčđł Dramatized fantasy and folklore stories from Laurie Steven & Odyssey Theatre. Five audio dramas are inspired by fantastical tales from the past, but set in todayâs modern world. Written by award-winning Canadian writers, each episode comes alive with the voices of professional actors and artfully crafted music and sound. All 5 episodes of this limited series are available as of 30 Nov 2022 for a listening time of 3h 17m.
Check out the 89th issue for links to listen, descriptions, artwork, and more at https://www.theend.fyi/newslettealmost-halfway-to-better-finished-audio-fiction
Thatâs it from The End for this week. See you next Sunday!
submitted by evoterra to fullcastaudiodrama [link] [comments]
Hereâs a rundown of just the dramatized audio fiction stories that were a part of that, with more details behind each link:
Featured Recommendations
I've listened to every episode of these shows, and proudly recommend them to you. As with all things in life, YMMV.Supreme: The Battle for Roe âą âïžđ©ââïžđšââïž Dramatized political thriller from Aaron Tracy, Kelly & Kelly, and iHeart. Nominated for a 2024 Ambies Award for Best Fiction Podcast. All episodes available as of 16 Aug 2023. Listen to all 9 episodes in 5h 28m.
Dark Sanctum âą đšđ±đ«š Dramatized horror thriller from Mark Ramsey Media LLC & Realm. Audio is one of the stars of the series. It is fundamental to the choice of stories and the way the stories unfold. Final episode of Season 1 posted on 1 Mar 2023. Listen to the 7 current episodes in 2h 29m. Next season: Slated for Mar 2024.
Featured Collections
Check out these collections to find your next finished audio fiction fix!Time Travel-ish âą Current title count in this collection: 21
Wormholes, police boxes, ancient tomes, and other explorations of jumping around in time.
Work Sucks, We Know âą Current title count in this collection: 12
Tales of the grind, making the bacon, office romance, and generally celebrating(?) capitalism, baby!
This Week's Season Finales
The Mysteries of Derlin County âą đłđđł Dramatized comedy parody series from K&B. Designed and created to be immature and stupid, specifically to shut your brain down and make you laugh to get through a hard day. It's loaded with dry, morbid, and crude humor, and listener discretion is advised. Final episode of Season 8 posted on 16 May 2024. Listen to the 126 current episodes in 54h 51m. Next season: Unknown.The Flight of the Bucket âą đđȘđ©âđ Dramatized scifi comedy series from Adam Arthur, Troy Burnette, and Superhappy Productions. Final episode of Season 1 posted on 13 May 2024. Listen to the 10 current episodes in 3h 48m. Next season: Slated for Nov 2024.
Returning With New Seasons Next Week
Season 3 of Creation: A Whole New Reality, a dramatized scifi horror anthology from Mikaila Simone Mack, starts on 17 May 2024. Catch up with the current 20 episodes in 6h 21m. đđ đœSeason 2 of The BEAM Chronicles, a dramatized scifi superhero series from MJ Dooney, starts on 18 May 2024. Catch up with the current 25 episodes in 12h 35m. đ„â ïžâïž
Season 2 of Remote, a dramatized parapsychological psych-fi thriller from Matthew Heinze and Hertz Up, starts on 21 May 2024. Catch up with the current 8 episodes in 2h 29m. đ”âđ«đŻđ€
Just Added
Saratoga Lights âą đŻïžđ€ đ Dramatized supernatural western crime thriller series from Randall LaRue, Matthew David Rudd, and Dual Tape Deck. Final episode of Season 2 posted on 11 Dec 2023. Listen to the 20 current episodes in 5h 17m. Next season: Slated for Oct 2024.Joys and Splendors âą đČâïžđ Dramatized spy thriller series from Kate Werneburg, Winterbird, and TACTICS Theatre Group. Created and produced by women and LGBTQ people. All episodes available as of 18 Nov 2023. Listen to all 3 episodes in 1h 52m.
Tobias and Syd âą đČđŹđ Dramatized time travel romance series from Elspeth Penny & 2BU Productions. Wins! 3rd in the Audio Fiction World Cup 2023 and the top UK podcast! Winner Best Audio Fiction Standalone, Sydney Webfest 2023, Winner Best Audio Fiction Standalone Apulia Web fest 2023; Winner Best Narration Baltimore Next Media Fest... Ell Potter. This one is weird. Like a fevered dream from smoking too much tobacco. Or something else. But it sounds incredible! All 4 episodes of this limited series are available as of 20 Jan 2023 for a listening time of 1h 08m.
Almelem âą đđđ°ïž Dramatized historical fiction series from Sean Williams & Gideon Media. This show spends time looking at the female and non-binary characters that have been left out of the early church mythology. All episodes available as of 15 Dec 2022. Listen to all 5 episodes in 2h 38m.
The Other Path âą đ§ââïžđčđł Dramatized fantasy and folklore stories from Laurie Steven & Odyssey Theatre. Five audio dramas are inspired by fantastical tales from the past, but set in todayâs modern world. Written by award-winning Canadian writers, each episode comes alive with the voices of professional actors and artfully crafted music and sound. All 5 episodes of this limited series are available as of 30 Nov 2022 for a listening time of 3h 17m.
Check out the 89th issue for links to listen, descriptions, artwork, and more at https://www.theend.fyi/newslettealmost-halfway-to-better-finished-audio-fiction
Thatâs it from The End for this week. See you next Sunday!
2024.05.19 18:00 HardKnocksSam what a joke.
 | i cant think of a single emoji that i would ever spend 1200 gems on. submitted by HardKnocksSam to disneyemojiblitz [link] [comments] |
2024.05.19 17:54 ICantRead123456 My neighbors are disgusting and im so fucking sick of it
Context. I live in my bfs apartment. Its an upstairs/downstairs duplex. We live upstairs. And this isn't a normal apartment this is a house that some guy bough and renovated to be 2 apartments and rents it out on fb marketplace. He does long term rentals so my bf has had his apartment upstairs for 7 years and ive lived here with him for 2. The way you get into our apartment is you enter through the side door and theres an area everyone has access to and you can go down a short flight of stairs to get to the basement where the washers and dryers are (we own our own set ourselves and the other set is technically communal but that's gross) if you go upstairs you hit another landing with the neighbors back door and bathroom door and another starcase that leads to our front door. And since this is a renovated regular house a lot of the rooms dont make a lot of sense. The downstairs apartment doesn't have its own bathroom technically. The bathroom entrance is in the stairwell. So they have to completely leave their apartment and go into the shared stairwell to shower or use the toilet. So the downstairs neighbors use the stairwell as much as us despite them having their own front door at the front of the house.
Our landlord kinda sucks. He doesn't really upkeep the property unless someone complains. I dont have his number cuz technically im not on the lease and my bf doesn't want to bother him with trivial stuff cuz technically he could kick us out if he wanted to. My bfs lease says no pets and any people that move in must be added. The landord knows im here, ive met him several times. And he knows i have a cat. He raised our rent by $25 a month because of my cat but he never said anything about us not being allowed to have him. And I'm pretty sure its because I've personally done pretty much all of the upkeep inside the house. Im an extremely clean person. A clean freak if you will. And messes and shit make me anxious af. When i moved in we had different downstairs neighbors and they used the stairwell as kinda storage. Mountains of boxes and shoes and toys and shit stacked along the walls. It drove me nuts. But i couldn't do anything about it. When they finally moved out i completely cleaned and decorated the stairwell. Used my own supplies and bought the decorations myself. Spent hours scrubbing the walls and floors and cleaning out the window frames and shit. The decorations arent much, just a couple fake houseplants, but i figured with some decorations in the stairwell whoever moved in next might be detered from using it as storage. All in all cleaning and decorating the stairwell cost me about $150ish and a couple hours of labor. I didnt mind it at all though because now it doesn't make me anxious af when i walk into the building. And the landlord loved it and thanked me and his wife thanked me.
In the year, maybe year and a half, since the first neighbors moved weve gone through like 3 or 4 people downstairs. We hated most of them because they were loud af at all hours. One used to blast music at like 2am. There was one we really liked at first. A couple the same age as us who were pretty cool. And we hoped they would last a while but after the first week they started fighting constantly. Screaming at each other in the middle of the night and shit. They didn't even last the whole first month before they broke up and the guy left. And the chick had to leave cuz she couldn't afford the apartment solo. That's when we got our current neighbors. We've never spoken to each other and im not even sure who actually lives there cuz there's always people coming and going and I've never consistently seen any one person there. They kinda creeped me out when they first moved in cuz they had their back door open (the door that leads into the stairwell) and i was in the stairwell to go outside and smoke but got distracted on my phone for a second and one of the guys stood in the doorway and staired at me with a weird look on his face till i left. But after that i never saw him again so i dont think he actually lives there. They're pretty quiet so we didnt mind them at first. But then they started leaving their trash in the stairwell. And ig they don't have an actual trashcan for their bathroom or bedroom cuz it would be like fast food bags filled with used toilet paper and shit like that. And they would leave the trash there for days until i would take it to the trashcan outside. And i got sick of that pretty quick and tried a couple times to knock to talk to them but noone would answer so i left them a note that wasn't mean or bitchy or anything i basically just said the stairwell is communal and ive been taking their trash outside for them but they need to start taking their trash outside. And they did. But they would leave in on the ground literally next to the trashcan instead of inside it. And the wind would blow their trash all over the back yard (the back yard is our yard and the front yard is their yard) so id still be cleaning up their trash constantly. But i never had to bring it up to the landlord cuz i was outside one day when he was at the next door house (which he also owns and is split into 2 apartments the same way as ours) and he asked me if it was us leaving our trash on the ground cuz he was sick of having to clean up trash before he could mow and i told him no its the downstairs people and that they do it a lot and were leaving it inside but i was sick of cleaning up after them too. Ig he said something to them cuz they started putting their trash somewhere else. Idk where though cuz we only have 1 outside trashcan and I've never seen them use it. But problem solved right? Wrong. Im pretty sure they've been just piling their trash up in their house cuz not to long after that i saw a roach in the stairwell. I lost my shit and killed it and my bf saw it and said it wasnt a roach and convinced me i was being dramatic. Then i saw one in our apartment. And i caught it under a cup to show him and he finally believed me. So we had to sink a bunch of money into buying shit to prevent more from coming into our apartment. Caulk for cracks in the walls, outlet covers, drain covers, door sleeves. That kinda shit. It was one and done though so he didnt want to bother the landlord with it. And it's been months and i havnt seen anything else, even in the stairwell, so i think the landlord found out anyway and said something or they just decided to do something themselves.
Now they've lived here a while and have gotten comfortable. I had to buy an air freshener for the stairwell because they go and take giant disgusting shits and turn the stairwell into a gas chamber. And they've started using the stairwell to knock dirt off their carpets and shit and they just leave the dirt on the ground. So im constantly having to sweep it up myself. And my bf keeps blaming me for the stairwell smelling like cigarettes because he knows i smoke but i go outside and close the door so ik its not me and i was confused for a while how it could be me until i caught the neighbors one night smoking in their kitchen with the door to the stairwell open so all the cigarette smoke drifted into the stairwell. I've started leaving the windows open in the stairwell to clear out the smoke. But its cold at night still and the neighbors keep going and aggressively closing the windows cuz its to cold ig.
And none of this is my responsibility. I shouldn't have to constantly be cleaning up after them. It's not my house. The stairwell is communal the landlord should be cleaning it but he doesn't and since i dont want to constantly have to look at messes and shit i end up having to do it and im so fucking sick of it.
submitted by ICantRead123456 to rant [link] [comments]
Our landlord kinda sucks. He doesn't really upkeep the property unless someone complains. I dont have his number cuz technically im not on the lease and my bf doesn't want to bother him with trivial stuff cuz technically he could kick us out if he wanted to. My bfs lease says no pets and any people that move in must be added. The landord knows im here, ive met him several times. And he knows i have a cat. He raised our rent by $25 a month because of my cat but he never said anything about us not being allowed to have him. And I'm pretty sure its because I've personally done pretty much all of the upkeep inside the house. Im an extremely clean person. A clean freak if you will. And messes and shit make me anxious af. When i moved in we had different downstairs neighbors and they used the stairwell as kinda storage. Mountains of boxes and shoes and toys and shit stacked along the walls. It drove me nuts. But i couldn't do anything about it. When they finally moved out i completely cleaned and decorated the stairwell. Used my own supplies and bought the decorations myself. Spent hours scrubbing the walls and floors and cleaning out the window frames and shit. The decorations arent much, just a couple fake houseplants, but i figured with some decorations in the stairwell whoever moved in next might be detered from using it as storage. All in all cleaning and decorating the stairwell cost me about $150ish and a couple hours of labor. I didnt mind it at all though because now it doesn't make me anxious af when i walk into the building. And the landlord loved it and thanked me and his wife thanked me.
In the year, maybe year and a half, since the first neighbors moved weve gone through like 3 or 4 people downstairs. We hated most of them because they were loud af at all hours. One used to blast music at like 2am. There was one we really liked at first. A couple the same age as us who were pretty cool. And we hoped they would last a while but after the first week they started fighting constantly. Screaming at each other in the middle of the night and shit. They didn't even last the whole first month before they broke up and the guy left. And the chick had to leave cuz she couldn't afford the apartment solo. That's when we got our current neighbors. We've never spoken to each other and im not even sure who actually lives there cuz there's always people coming and going and I've never consistently seen any one person there. They kinda creeped me out when they first moved in cuz they had their back door open (the door that leads into the stairwell) and i was in the stairwell to go outside and smoke but got distracted on my phone for a second and one of the guys stood in the doorway and staired at me with a weird look on his face till i left. But after that i never saw him again so i dont think he actually lives there. They're pretty quiet so we didnt mind them at first. But then they started leaving their trash in the stairwell. And ig they don't have an actual trashcan for their bathroom or bedroom cuz it would be like fast food bags filled with used toilet paper and shit like that. And they would leave the trash there for days until i would take it to the trashcan outside. And i got sick of that pretty quick and tried a couple times to knock to talk to them but noone would answer so i left them a note that wasn't mean or bitchy or anything i basically just said the stairwell is communal and ive been taking their trash outside for them but they need to start taking their trash outside. And they did. But they would leave in on the ground literally next to the trashcan instead of inside it. And the wind would blow their trash all over the back yard (the back yard is our yard and the front yard is their yard) so id still be cleaning up their trash constantly. But i never had to bring it up to the landlord cuz i was outside one day when he was at the next door house (which he also owns and is split into 2 apartments the same way as ours) and he asked me if it was us leaving our trash on the ground cuz he was sick of having to clean up trash before he could mow and i told him no its the downstairs people and that they do it a lot and were leaving it inside but i was sick of cleaning up after them too. Ig he said something to them cuz they started putting their trash somewhere else. Idk where though cuz we only have 1 outside trashcan and I've never seen them use it. But problem solved right? Wrong. Im pretty sure they've been just piling their trash up in their house cuz not to long after that i saw a roach in the stairwell. I lost my shit and killed it and my bf saw it and said it wasnt a roach and convinced me i was being dramatic. Then i saw one in our apartment. And i caught it under a cup to show him and he finally believed me. So we had to sink a bunch of money into buying shit to prevent more from coming into our apartment. Caulk for cracks in the walls, outlet covers, drain covers, door sleeves. That kinda shit. It was one and done though so he didnt want to bother the landlord with it. And it's been months and i havnt seen anything else, even in the stairwell, so i think the landlord found out anyway and said something or they just decided to do something themselves.
Now they've lived here a while and have gotten comfortable. I had to buy an air freshener for the stairwell because they go and take giant disgusting shits and turn the stairwell into a gas chamber. And they've started using the stairwell to knock dirt off their carpets and shit and they just leave the dirt on the ground. So im constantly having to sweep it up myself. And my bf keeps blaming me for the stairwell smelling like cigarettes because he knows i smoke but i go outside and close the door so ik its not me and i was confused for a while how it could be me until i caught the neighbors one night smoking in their kitchen with the door to the stairwell open so all the cigarette smoke drifted into the stairwell. I've started leaving the windows open in the stairwell to clear out the smoke. But its cold at night still and the neighbors keep going and aggressively closing the windows cuz its to cold ig.
And none of this is my responsibility. I shouldn't have to constantly be cleaning up after them. It's not my house. The stairwell is communal the landlord should be cleaning it but he doesn't and since i dont want to constantly have to look at messes and shit i end up having to do it and im so fucking sick of it.
2024.05.19 17:46 realjessse In love with DAWless, looking to try a DAWless setup, not sure where to start
Hi, I've been on this subreddit for a while, but have never made a post. I'm fairly new (2-3 years maybe) to music-making and synthesizers as a whole. I have seen quite a lot of cool stuff here, but the things that tend to really catch my interest are people's DAWless setups. It always amazes me how creative people can get with their combinations of devices and methods of using them. Recently, taking what I had (Behringer Pro-1, Akai MPK249, PO-33 KO), I assembled a little setup of my own and just jammed out. It was so freeing, and such an awesome experience. I've only worked with FL studio before, and this was something fresh for me, and I'm very into it.
My goal is to create most of what I'm doing on the setup, then transfer that to FL and work with it the rest of the way on that. And so I'm essentially looking for help on maybe 1-3 pieces of gear that would be good to start with / add to what I already have. I have looked around myself a little, and the things that caught my eye were Elektron devices (mainly the Syntakt/Digitakt/Digitone), and the Akai MPC Live II. I've seen some concern from various reddit threads and youtube comments about the Live II being too much of a "DAW-in-a-box" and less of an instrument. I share this concern. I'd appreciate a recommendation for a good centerpiece for the setup especially. Other than that, I'm not too sure what I actually need. I'm aware you can be pretty creative with the essentials, too.
Thanks!
submitted by realjessse to synthesizers [link] [comments]
My goal is to create most of what I'm doing on the setup, then transfer that to FL and work with it the rest of the way on that. And so I'm essentially looking for help on maybe 1-3 pieces of gear that would be good to start with / add to what I already have. I have looked around myself a little, and the things that caught my eye were Elektron devices (mainly the Syntakt/Digitakt/Digitone), and the Akai MPC Live II. I've seen some concern from various reddit threads and youtube comments about the Live II being too much of a "DAW-in-a-box" and less of an instrument. I share this concern. I'd appreciate a recommendation for a good centerpiece for the setup especially. Other than that, I'm not too sure what I actually need. I'm aware you can be pretty creative with the essentials, too.
Thanks!
2024.05.19 17:36 my_primary_throwaway 25 [M4F] #Texas, Texas; Your Brand-New Bestie!
Hello lovely people! I'm Jonathan - just a guy trying to make a lasting connection. It's not an easy task by any means but I love meeting new people and getting to know them; show me what you've got!
About Me: âą I'm a graphic designer that works at a local newspaper. I design newspapers, advertisements, magazines, website stuff! It's a fun job, and I really love the people I work with.
âą I've been to over ten countries! Mostly Europe, but some Central America/Mexico mixed in there. I'm Hispanic, and speak both English and Spanish with a touuuuch of German.
âą I listen to lots of music. Let's share Spotify playlists! I've got lots of loves - Mac Miller, Bleachers, Rainbow Kitten Surprise, Vistas. But that's just the tip of the iceberg!
âą I know how to skate! And I've been boxing for a few years, so I'll totally fight you.
âą Not really a tv person but I do love Psych, It's Always Sunny - those kind of comedies. Let's start a book club, or plan a fun little movie night! I'm trying to read 30 books this year.
Let me know what you think! Thanks for reading and hey, let's become besties! I'm happy to swap pictures once you're comfortable.
submitted by my_primary_throwaway to r4r [link] [comments]
About Me: âą I'm a graphic designer that works at a local newspaper. I design newspapers, advertisements, magazines, website stuff! It's a fun job, and I really love the people I work with.
âą I've been to over ten countries! Mostly Europe, but some Central America/Mexico mixed in there. I'm Hispanic, and speak both English and Spanish with a touuuuch of German.
âą I listen to lots of music. Let's share Spotify playlists! I've got lots of loves - Mac Miller, Bleachers, Rainbow Kitten Surprise, Vistas. But that's just the tip of the iceberg!
âą I know how to skate! And I've been boxing for a few years, so I'll totally fight you.
âą Not really a tv person but I do love Psych, It's Always Sunny - those kind of comedies. Let's start a book club, or plan a fun little movie night! I'm trying to read 30 books this year.
Let me know what you think! Thanks for reading and hey, let's become besties! I'm happy to swap pictures once you're comfortable.
2024.05.19 17:34 Dartsgame5k The guignols de l'info respawn.
https://preview.redd.it/5t1jh6z1je1d1.png?width=1200&format=png&auto=webp&s=9b29efeb74cf869066d771825b73601f2b19b999
Hello , I will tell you my nightmare !
I was working on my computer in my room when I decided to take a break. While still sitting, I turned off the computer and started touching everything around me. At that moment, I felt a strange sensation, almost like...so a dream, where every details was incredibly realistic, that looks curious: the bumps, the textures. It was both disturbing and captivating.
I got up and explored the house to see my parents if here. It was fully lit, but there was no one around. The house seemed to be in the middle of a move in, with cadrboard boxes and belongings everywhere. I went into the bathroom, which was also lit, but no one was in the WC.
As I will left the bathroom, I heard a microwave turn on by itself, followed by music that gradually increased in volume. At that moment, I realized that the "guignols de l'info" (french political caricature news show with very deformed humanized puppets), terrifying characters from my childhood nightmares But had thought they no longer existed in adult nightmares, but in my panic, I called them as I used to when I was a child, by shaking my head and making exaggerated grimaces to summon them.
After a long silence of three seconds, I felt a temporary relief, thinking I was safe. But then doubt set in. I heard a microwave start up, I know there is noboby in the house... Is that moment I knew. The music, a mix of "Megalovania" and "Krush Alert" by Shonci, started getting louder and closer, as if a rave was happening right next to me.
Afraid of being I Understood, i run diffucltly to the nearest bed, I hid under a blanket, knowing that the "guignols de l'info" (les guignols de l'info) were allergic to the texitles made by humans. The music kept getting louder, increasing my fear. To wake myself up, I shook my head vigorously, trembling to escape their grasp and prevent them from siphoning my memories and exerting psychological pressure on me. Finally, I managed to wake up from this nightmare by shaking my head to escape their hold.
Intersect from \"Chuck\" series
If these guys you, they do to you brain a great pressure on yout mind and you see milllions of images scroll in your mine.
submitted by Dartsgame5k to Dreams [link] [comments]
Hello , I will tell you my nightmare !
I was working on my computer in my room when I decided to take a break. While still sitting, I turned off the computer and started touching everything around me. At that moment, I felt a strange sensation, almost like...so a dream, where every details was incredibly realistic, that looks curious: the bumps, the textures. It was both disturbing and captivating.
I got up and explored the house to see my parents if here. It was fully lit, but there was no one around. The house seemed to be in the middle of a move in, with cadrboard boxes and belongings everywhere. I went into the bathroom, which was also lit, but no one was in the WC.
As I will left the bathroom, I heard a microwave turn on by itself, followed by music that gradually increased in volume. At that moment, I realized that the "guignols de l'info" (french political caricature news show with very deformed humanized puppets), terrifying characters from my childhood nightmares But had thought they no longer existed in adult nightmares, but in my panic, I called them as I used to when I was a child, by shaking my head and making exaggerated grimaces to summon them.
After a long silence of three seconds, I felt a temporary relief, thinking I was safe. But then doubt set in. I heard a microwave start up, I know there is noboby in the house... Is that moment I knew. The music, a mix of "Megalovania" and "Krush Alert" by Shonci, started getting louder and closer, as if a rave was happening right next to me.
Afraid of being I Understood, i run diffucltly to the nearest bed, I hid under a blanket, knowing that the "guignols de l'info" (les guignols de l'info) were allergic to the texitles made by humans. The music kept getting louder, increasing my fear. To wake myself up, I shook my head vigorously, trembling to escape their grasp and prevent them from siphoning my memories and exerting psychological pressure on me. Finally, I managed to wake up from this nightmare by shaking my head to escape their hold.
Intersect from \"Chuck\" series
If these guys you, they do to you brain a great pressure on yout mind and you see milllions of images scroll in your mine.
2024.05.19 17:34 The-Goldfish-2112 DMX Project
 | Greetings! New DMXâer here. Iâm rebuilding my jam room and am going to add a few lights while Iâm at it. Iâm building a three tier stage and for extra panty dropping power I would like to add lights in each riser as depicted in the picture below. My question is this, if I want to run each vertical segment of ledâs independently (which are two individual ledâs as noted by the dashed blue box), would I need a dmx controller on each segment to make that happen? Or am I completely over thinking this? In the end my thoughts were controlling everything with QLC+ so I can sync the lights to music (again, more p.d.p.) Any and all input would be greatly appreciated. For reference, my current lighting equipment consists of 23 â 12 led par cans (8 channels each), 1 â 7 led moving head (9 or 14 channels, all Lixada brand) and a dying LC2412 console. submitted by The-Goldfish-2112 to lightingdesign [link] [comments] https://preview.redd.it/hpkoz34nme1d1.png?width=1056&format=png&auto=webp&s=0eb7fdd5b1c08d2f619f6747e1752f562c154956 https://preview.redd.it/b8tud34nme1d1.jpg?width=4032&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=630b86af74cd136a0866620d90222c090ff3604a |
2024.05.19 17:33 InotiaKing Who Knew Statues Could Be Such Divas? (Act I)
 | https://preview.redd.it/pkcgps4c8e1d1.png?width=1914&format=png&auto=webp&s=312db7fe238952a8655cc950fee2efcea965aeb4 submitted by InotiaKing to GenshinImpactLore [link] [comments] What's up guys! It's your friendly Hoyoverse overthinker Inotia King. As always before we begin I just want to make sure new readers have checked out my older topics which my newer theories are built upon. So for the Genshin ones you can click here. And for the Honkai related ones you can click here. The new story's come and gone now and it seems to just be a reinforcement for what we've seen previously. We did already know that Remus tried to pull a Deshret but now we're seeing how far people go to achieve this flawed idea. Both Remus and Deshret before him realized just a little too late that preserved eternity was never going to work and dissolving everybody's consciousnesses into a collective goo was a bad idea. The Golden Slumber didn't save anybody and neither would melting people into Ichor, shoving their bodies into statues and then shoving them into a magical musical score. Ei lucked out in this sense. She had Yae pulling out all the stops to prevent it, using the Traveler to push Ei into place for Makoto to finally show her what she'd learned herself. So while it isn't groundbreaking to know that Boethius was wrong just like Rene would also be wrong centuries later I think this quest series gave us a few more details and showcased more of the research the miHoYo devs do for these regions. Therefore just like I did last year with Farakhkert I want to discuss a few of them. https://preview.redd.it/artw51tn8e1d1.png?width=494&format=png&auto=webp&s=1e61c4a97f75fe96cbea3e2a7e1da3031bb91e08 https://preview.redd.it/qme302ih9e1d1.png?width=3840&format=png&auto=webp&s=4c5cd8cc8e95d4b374c26dc3a5eb294a5af2ab5d We've actually known about this city (town?) for a long time. I think it's actually the first Fontaine city we learn about, all the way back when Inazuma first released. I don't think anybody really thought too much about it either but now it's name really makes sense. Petrichor is made from the two Greek words petr and ichor so in terms of Genshin it's very on the nose. Remus literally turned his people into ichor by dissolving their Oceanid bodies with the Primordial Sea and then shoving the resulting goo into statues, the petr or stone. In real life petrichor is just the smell of rainwater on dirt and the word ichor is actually what the Greeks called the blood of gods. From a Genshin perspective it was in a way what Remus intended the Ichor to be, a way for humanity to break free from fate which they believed was the power the gods had over them. But what is actually new is where Petrichor is. Previously we didn't even know that Fontaine was on an artificially raised platform so there was no reason to believe Petrichor would fall into some weirdly separated space yet still be called part of the region. Our oldest information about it was just that it's waters were very pure and it was beautiful. Yeah that's pretty much all of Fontaine though. In fact we knew so little about Petrichor back then that even by v4.3 Xavier, who is a local never talked about how it wasn't actually located on the Fontaine plateau but rather some separated area where even the drown-proof aspect of Fontaine's waters didn't reach. So what is this area of Fontaine called? Nostoi which is Greek for "return." In our world it was part of the story about the Trojan War, preceding Homer's the Odyssey and acts like a prologue for that part of the story, the return of the Greek heroes besides Odysseus back from the war. (There's an "Ajax" who dies in this story though he's not the same Ajax that Childe is based on.) Side Note: This timeline placement might also be important but that's a topic for another day. There's actually a French connection to Petrichor too probably to justify it's inclusion in a French region lol. If you talk to Xavier's childhood friend (and girl next door) Goldoni, her possessing Remurian tells you about Petrocorii a territory of Remuria that fell to barbarians. In our world the petrocorii were Gauls that opposed the Roman Republic during Caesar's time. Unlike petr-ichor, petro-corii is Gallic for four (petro) armies (corios) with corii acting as a common suffix for their tribes. Actually this connection to Gauls keeps going. In the same dialogue that Goldoni tells us about Petrocorii she name drops Lucius Septimius Sebelius which is a reference to Emperor Lucius Septimius Severus. (Sebelius is likely just an intentional bastardization of Severus but Sebelius is a real surname too.) Severus is notable for being the founder of the last Roman Dynasty before the Crisis of the Third Century, when Rome was temporarily defeated by the Gallic Empire. I actually brought up this part of Roman history in another topic about something that should have been totally unrelated lol. It was about how religion was historically tied to currency on our side of the world. Side Note: Goldoni herself may be a reference to the Italian playwright Carlo Goldoni. I bring this up because it's a common theme when it comes to Remuria but that's also a topic for another day. Finally when possessed Goldoni calls Xavier, Xaverius. This is a reference to Franciscus Xaverius or Saint Francis Xavier, the first missionary that went to Japan before it went into Sakoku. The name Xavier is interesting by itself though. It actually predates most of these references because it's a Latinized version of the Paleo-European (Basque) surname Echevarria meaning new house. The Basques are the last surviving ethnic group native to Europe (current Europeans are all some form of Indo-European, including the Celts, Romans, Germanics) and their modern populations are located in Spain and France, influencing both nations over time. Who knew our engineefilmmaker would be such an interesting reference to his hometown which also is a preceding ancient culture that heavily influenced the modern French-inspired one? Side Note 1: After completing the Remuria World Quest it's discovered that Petrichor is stagnating. The elderly are increasingly closed off and the young find the town boring and are starting to leave. This might be a reference to the Vatican which has the world's oldest median age. As the headquarters of Catholicism it's also very traditional and young people have been leaving it too, though part of the reason is disillusionment of religion over the many scandals plaguing the church. (That said the young Petrichorians might wanna stick around. If Mecantre and Babisse are brainstorming what I think they are then Petrichor might become really interesting one day.) Side Note 2: Geographically Petrichor would more likely be based on Corsica but there is no shortage of self-importance as a stereotype of the Corsicans. No young people are going to ditch that town anytime soon. It was the birthplace of Napoleon after all. However that could actually be the link to Petrichor, to the pre-World Quest version where everybody is a proud Remurian. According to a friend I have who is part French, as arrogant as the rest of the world see the French, the French see the Corsicans. And certainly that was the vibe we got upon speaking to all of the Remurians. https://preview.redd.it/e9ofcf17ee1d1.png?width=494&format=png&auto=webp&s=e9190ca1982f1a26a5da9cddd8d0ab759021f829 https://preview.redd.it/3hszv0d9ee1d1.png?width=1758&format=png&auto=webp&s=b8834124768ced11508cd89137bab9521ccec2d2 Yes the previous section was just the name of the region and all the stuff we can gather from just that. That's how miHoYo's devs do things haha Now for a speed round. Hortus is the Proto-Indo-European for garden while euergetis is Greek for a worker who does good work. Together it probably means Garden of the Good Worker. However Euergetis can also be a title applied to good leaders specifically female leaders of the Hellenistic world. (Euergetes is the masculine form) Cleopatra III was also called Cleopatra Euergetis for example. The "garden" can only be reached by doing the World Quest so it's likely this garden honors Sybilla who does have the merits to justify the title. With Caesareum Palace I'm pretty sure miHoYo was going for the specific Caesareum of Alexandria so they mean a temple but that's not was Caesareum actually means. It just means Julius Caesar who of course doesn't exist in Genshin. (although going off of Rene's Root Cycle stuff he's supposed to show up sooner or later lol) Collegium Phonascorum is probably the easiest to match with the theme. It's just a group of music teachers. Since the whole thing was getting people ready for the Grand Symphony it makes sense to have some teachers teaching the music stuff. That said it's not actually a group at all. It's the name of a place and that makes sense with its real name è°ćŸéą or Courtyard of Harmony. Actually è°ćŸ is really fitting. The term does mean harmony but in both the sense of being united in peace and in terms of musical harmony, being in tune with each other. It's a very nice allusion to what the Grand Symphony was meant to do. That said Phobos is such a red flag lol! Phobos aka phobia is the God of Fear. (alongside brother Deimos) No wonder this genius plan failed. https://preview.redd.it/0jlk5qv7fe1d1.png?width=1364&format=png&auto=webp&s=d8fe58f58d7b768153daa7568573b3b3fa008410 Wasn't Fortuna the man's boat? Can't have a physical device double as an abstract concept my friends. That said if Fortuna actually means fate then it fits even better with the Stella Fortuna thing Ashikai came up with before, but she'd have to forego the connection with sun gods. Sebastos is the Greek version of Augustus. But I don't think Sebastos Remus is correct syntax. If this was Latin then honorifics come after the name so Remus Augustus. It would be just like the Guuji Yae issue. In English the localization team went with Guuji Yae but Raiden Shogun. Raiden Shogun is correct but because of that the correct syntax would be Yae Guuji, surnames followed by titles. In Greek we have Oedipus Rex or Oedipus Tyrannus so the titles do come after the name and therefore it should be Remus Sebastos. But I read somewhere that modern Greek puts the titles first like keerie Remus would be Mr. Remus and not Remus keerie. If there are Greeks reading this please advise thanks! Osse the cat first named himself Ouranides of Ouranopolis. Ouranides is just the name for the first generation of Titans because they were the children of Ouranos. I'm not sure what that was trying to reference for the game. Ouranos would be Saturn so he's one of the Classical Planets that have come up before. It is interesting to note that the children of the sea, the Oceanides were the second generation of Titans. Maybe Osse was trying to suggest that Remurians were the first generation of Fontainians while the ones we know of today (the former Oceanid humans) are the second? Anyway Ouranopolis is a real place or it was. It's just south of Macedonia. Today there's a small town there called Ouranopoli with a very lovely beach. Pretty sure that's not what Remus was going for when he called it the city of the future. And of course we learn that our keerie Ouranides is really Cassiodor based on Magnus Aurelius Cassiodorus who was born in Scylletium. Probably just a cute reference. Scylla himself is a reference to a monster from the Odyssey sometimes described like a hydra. (S)he was the lesser of two evils because the seemingly weaker Charybdis sucked up water and anything that happens to be floating on it. We have a reference to Charybdis too all the way back in the Narzissenkreuz World Quest when we go to Fort Charybdis Ruins. Anyway Cassiodorus was a contemporary of Boethius and actually replaced him as magister officiorum when he was accused and executed for conspiracy against Rome. Gee if only Remus had let Romulus run things huh? The Romurian Empire would've seen Boe-boe coming a mile away. That said his charges were trumped up. Real life Boethius was a good guy. He was trying to reunite the Western and Eastern Roman Empires. (albeit it probably wasn't going to happen since the "Western Roman Empire" we're talking about is Germanic Rome and even today we have trouble accepting that Rome.) Cassiodorus himself lasted much longer probably because he was stationed in the Eastern Roman Empire and became more focused on education than politics. Finally, he would retire to Castellum not a golden castellum but a monastery where he continued supporting education. Before we dive into the Faded Castle part there are NPCs that are also significant. First you have Contarini Tiepolo a cop whose name is actually made up of two surnames from important Venetian families. She interpreted some of her lingering memories from being possessed as the Liliacruces Ordo. This is another fiction actually. The Liliacruces Ordo is based on the Narzissenkreuz Ordo and was popularized in Fontaine's mystery novels that Paimon likes so much. Her father Tiepolo is the Doge. It's not bit currency but Italian for the Latin Dux or leader. It was a title used in the Republic of Venice and he's actually based on the first Duke of the city-state, Jacopo Tiepolo. Duke is also a form of Dux. https://preview.redd.it/gvsq8yjlge1d1.png?width=494&format=png&auto=webp&s=5d9cf8a593be810b6c1f09a94878311c0740f06c https://preview.redd.it/es9h30umge1d1.png?width=1912&format=png&auto=webp&s=b4840644e1d63c375239b43cccb7063649fdcbb0 Once we dive down it turns out that the little harp thing we grabbed was part of a series that tells Remuria's history in the Ancient Autoharmonic Music Box. The first piece of this melody is the Locus Amoenus or lovely place in Latin. The rest though are actually part of the Sequentia section of Mozart's Requiem which is of course a musical piece to honor the dead and also how we stop the Phobos. Sequentia is followed by the sinners being saved and brought to salvation in Offertorium, Sanctus, Benedictus and Agnus Dei. (Agnus Dei is an allusion to Jesus and there's another really obvious one in this quest too.) Mozart actually didn't complete his Requiem and died while only completing the introduction. Joseph von Eybler is the one that actually finished the Sequentia parts and then a guy by the name of Franz Xaver SĂŒssmayr finished the salvation portions. Franz Xaver. Hmmmm. Yes Franz is Germanic for Franciscus or Francis and Xaver is the Germanic for Xavier. Cute that one of our first Fontainian NPCs and also a native to Petrichor has such a large role in its history, at least in real world references. Before heading into the painting portal thing to get to memory world Remuria we can find a few choice books in this castle. I'll get more into them later but for now there was one term that's interesting. Cunicoricus is the predecessor to Erinnyes of Aremorica. In real life he's Welsh and the adoptive father of King Arthur in local legends. Last week I brought up Clervie and Crucabena who are also Welsh (and Irish) characters and King Arthur has been referenced a few times now with relation to Khaenri'ah. https://preview.redd.it/yfit75i9he1d1.png?width=1908&format=png&auto=webp&s=56556c8d13132fec87e7d29600de5d3ec7300d4e We already knew Cassiodor was a Harmost but now these Remurians are calling him Dominus. Harmost is Greek, specifically Spartan for a military leader. As it relates to what Remus did during his conquests the Spartans used the Harmosts to undermine Athens push for democracy with the Delian League. Similarly Dominus is a title used by Roman Emperors only after the Crisis of the Third Century when it started declining and becoming more authoritarian. Dominus actually translates to head or master like that of a household. For instance Roman slaves addressed their masters as Dominus. And it's the household thing that plays out in the next term: Domus Aurea or the Golden House. (A dominus is the head of the domus.) It's cute to think this is some kind of link between Remuria and Liyue. Ashikai would love this kind of detail for her God King theory. But I don't think it's what it is. The Golden House in Liyue is literally just the Golden House é»éć± whereas Domus Aurea was é»éç性柫. 性柫 is much more glamorous than ć±. For example the White House is çœćź« and æ ćź« is the Imperial Palace. The real Domus Aurea relates more to that latter example. It was Nero's second home after he supposedly burned down Rome in 64AD just to have it built. Sounds about right with who we're dealing with in Genshin's version. Side Note: Actually could that be why there's a Caesareum Palace? I mean Caesar did burn down Alexandria. And then after he died Cleopatra built the Caesareum to commemorate him. So it could relate to Nero and then our Remus. What do you guys think? To get to Domus Aurea we're told we need to breach the Initium Iani. Initium means entrance and in the original Chinese it's door which actually works really amusingly with Iani or the Roman god Ianus because he's the God of Doors. Well pretty much all definitions for initium parallel what Ianus was so we could translate Initium Iani as the Doorway of the God of Doorways, Entrance of the God of Entrances, Transition of the God of Transitions, etc. The point was that Ianus represented a change in something like when you change rooms by going through a door, the changes in season every year or changing of the guard between historical periods. It's like the miHoYo devs just wanted to throw in a cute easter egg only nerds would get, the doorway to end all doorways lol Side Note: Also because their names are so close to each other apparently Janus (alt spelling for Ianus) got mistaken for Juno (Iuno is the more accurate spelling*) sometimes confusing which god represented which month. It's funny because I had previously brought up Juno (and the Golden House actually) in that totally unrelated topic about the Gauls and the history of currency. Again this is all probably just coincidental. I just found it funny. \or* Yuno for us anime fans. Rome's version was probably more stable though. Then again she is based on Hera so.... https://preview.redd.it/aqnfnffnie1d1.png?width=494&format=png&auto=webp&s=2f786562b452b0c8ef56ee70a658ca4c5c67ce5e And that was all the references I found interesting from the new quest. It's really long so I think I'll leave it at that and save the lore deep dive for next time. |
2024.05.19 17:21 Sophiche Questions about mew and buried relics
Hello everyone
Got blue rescue team n 2009 and Iâve never figured out how to recruit mew, buried relic is one of my childhood trauma
Now weâre in 2024 and I want to recruit mew for good and 100% the game
Iâm probably very unlucky but mew never appeared after I got the music box
Iâve never completely understood how it works. Will mew randomly appear in random floor after I got the music box ? Do the leader need to carry it or do I need to keep it in the bag ?
Any advices ?
Oh and, is it necessary to recruit Mew to advance in the post game scenario ? Ty
submitted by Sophiche to MysteryDungeon [link] [comments]
Got blue rescue team n 2009 and Iâve never figured out how to recruit mew, buried relic is one of my childhood trauma
Now weâre in 2024 and I want to recruit mew for good and 100% the game
Iâm probably very unlucky but mew never appeared after I got the music box
Iâve never completely understood how it works. Will mew randomly appear in random floor after I got the music box ? Do the leader need to carry it or do I need to keep it in the bag ?
Any advices ?
Oh and, is it necessary to recruit Mew to advance in the post game scenario ? Ty
2024.05.19 17:11 Dartsgame5k The "Guignol de l'Infos" respawn in the world
The \"Guignols de l'info\" newscaster
Hello , I will tell you my nightmare
I was working on my computer in my room when I decided to take a break. While still sitting, I turned off the computer and started touching everything around me. At that moment, I felt a strange sensation, almost like a dream, where every detail was incredibly realistic: the indentations, the bumps, the textures. It was both disturbing and captivating.
I got up and explored the house. It was fully lit, but there was no one around. The house seemed to be in the middle of a move, with boxes and belongings scattered everywhere. I went into the bathroom, which was also lit, but no one was in the toilet.
As I left the bathroom, I heard a microphone turn on by itself, followed by music that gradually increased in volume. At that moment, I realized that the "guignols de l'info" (les guignols de l'info), terrifying characters from my childhood nightmares, were present. I had thought they no longer existed, but in my panic, I called them as I used to when I was a child, by shaking my head and making exaggerated grimaces to summon them.
After a long silence of three seconds, I felt a temporary relief, thinking I was safe. But then doubt set in. I heard a microwave start up, I know there is noboby in the house. The music, a mix of "Megalovania" and "KRUSH ALERT" by Shonci, started getting louder and closer, as if a rave was happening right next to me.
Afraid of being discovered, I hid under a blanket, knowing that the "guignols de l'info" (les guignols de l'info) were allergic to fabrics made by humans. The music kept getting louder, increasing my fear. To wake myself up, I shook my head vigorously, trembling to escape their grasp and prevent them from siphoning my memories and exerting psychological pressure on me. Finally, I managed to wake up from this nightmare by shaking my head to escape their hold.
Recorrected my ChatGPT because I record myself as a witness/ my memories of the nightmare and we know that the brain can make you forget your nightmares and dreams quite quickly.
The first original text in french >!Donc, j'Ă©tais dans ma chambre en train de travailler sur mon ordinateur. Et Ă un moment donnĂ©, je prends une pause, je me reconnais pas d'ailleurs, et j'Ă©teins et je palpe tout ce qui est autour de moi tout en Ă©tant assis. Donc, je palpe et je sens que je bug dans ma tĂȘte parce que c'est vachement sensitif comme un rĂȘve. Je sens les moindres dĂ©tails quand tu palpes, les creux, les bosses, les dĂ©tails, les reliefs. C'est perturbant et assez rĂ©aliste. Je ne comprends pas. Quand je me lĂšve, je vais dans la maison et je regarde partout. Il n'y a personne. C'est tout allumĂ©, mais il n'y a personne. La maison Ă©tait un peu comme si c'Ă©tait en forme d'Ă©mĂ©nagement. Il y a plein de cartons partout. Il y a des affaires partout, mais il y a des soins partout. On peut facilement entrer dans la maison, en sortir de la maison. Je vais dans la salle de bain, c'est tout allumĂ© et tout. Il n'y a personne aux toilettes, parce que les toits sont dans la salle de bain. Je prends l'initiative de sortir de la maison. Pas de la maison, mais de la salle de bain. J'entends le micro s'allumer tout seul. LĂ , il y a un commencement d'ouverture en fondue de la musique. Oh putain, ils sont lĂ . Ils sont lĂ , les mĂ©chants, les guimauves de l'info. Y'en eu des anciens chauchemars sur les guing,nols l'infos etant petit , je pensait qu'ils exitsatit plus donc j'ai les appelĂ© comme le appelĂ© quand petit en secouant la tete and grimancant tres exagerantment pour les invoquer, un long silence de 3 secondes je me dit ouf mais la je doute Je commence Ă entendre la musique monter une musique melangant megaloviania et shonci - KRUSH ALERT , comme si le rave partait. Il me dit, putain, il faut que je me cache. Du coup, je me cache sur la couverture, mais ça ne se met pas compte. Je commence Ă ĂȘtre complĂštement fermĂ©. Enfin, couvert de la couverture sur moi, pour bien ĂȘtre cachĂ©. Pour ne pas que les mĂ©chants, les guimauves de l'info me trouvent. Et lĂ , j'entends la musique comme s'il y avait une fĂȘte Ă cĂŽtĂ©. Et en mĂȘme temps, elles sont assez proches, elles sont bien plus fortes. Et du coup, pour me rĂ©veiller, je secoue la tĂȘte, je tremble la tĂȘte. Comme ça, j'ai pas envie de me rĂ©veiller. Pour ne pas que dans ma tĂȘte, les mĂ©chants aspirent toutes mes souvenirs. Ils me feront une pression psychologique. Tu peux rĂ©sumer mon rĂȘve, s'il te plaĂźt ? En quelque chose de mieux construit sans erreur, en gardant l'histoire bien precis et detaillĂ© . c'est pas des guimave mais les guignols de l'infos
et sons alergiques au tissus faits par les humains d'ou la couverture !<
submitted by Dartsgame5k to Nightmares [link] [comments]
Hello , I will tell you my nightmare
I was working on my computer in my room when I decided to take a break. While still sitting, I turned off the computer and started touching everything around me. At that moment, I felt a strange sensation, almost like a dream, where every detail was incredibly realistic: the indentations, the bumps, the textures. It was both disturbing and captivating.
I got up and explored the house. It was fully lit, but there was no one around. The house seemed to be in the middle of a move, with boxes and belongings scattered everywhere. I went into the bathroom, which was also lit, but no one was in the toilet.
As I left the bathroom, I heard a microphone turn on by itself, followed by music that gradually increased in volume. At that moment, I realized that the "guignols de l'info" (les guignols de l'info), terrifying characters from my childhood nightmares, were present. I had thought they no longer existed, but in my panic, I called them as I used to when I was a child, by shaking my head and making exaggerated grimaces to summon them.
After a long silence of three seconds, I felt a temporary relief, thinking I was safe. But then doubt set in. I heard a microwave start up, I know there is noboby in the house. The music, a mix of "Megalovania" and "KRUSH ALERT" by Shonci, started getting louder and closer, as if a rave was happening right next to me.
Afraid of being discovered, I hid under a blanket, knowing that the "guignols de l'info" (les guignols de l'info) were allergic to fabrics made by humans. The music kept getting louder, increasing my fear. To wake myself up, I shook my head vigorously, trembling to escape their grasp and prevent them from siphoning my memories and exerting psychological pressure on me. Finally, I managed to wake up from this nightmare by shaking my head to escape their hold.
Recorrected my ChatGPT because I record myself as a witness/ my memories of the nightmare and we know that the brain can make you forget your nightmares and dreams quite quickly.
The first original text in french >!Donc, j'Ă©tais dans ma chambre en train de travailler sur mon ordinateur. Et Ă un moment donnĂ©, je prends une pause, je me reconnais pas d'ailleurs, et j'Ă©teins et je palpe tout ce qui est autour de moi tout en Ă©tant assis. Donc, je palpe et je sens que je bug dans ma tĂȘte parce que c'est vachement sensitif comme un rĂȘve. Je sens les moindres dĂ©tails quand tu palpes, les creux, les bosses, les dĂ©tails, les reliefs. C'est perturbant et assez rĂ©aliste. Je ne comprends pas. Quand je me lĂšve, je vais dans la maison et je regarde partout. Il n'y a personne. C'est tout allumĂ©, mais il n'y a personne. La maison Ă©tait un peu comme si c'Ă©tait en forme d'Ă©mĂ©nagement. Il y a plein de cartons partout. Il y a des affaires partout, mais il y a des soins partout. On peut facilement entrer dans la maison, en sortir de la maison. Je vais dans la salle de bain, c'est tout allumĂ© et tout. Il n'y a personne aux toilettes, parce que les toits sont dans la salle de bain. Je prends l'initiative de sortir de la maison. Pas de la maison, mais de la salle de bain. J'entends le micro s'allumer tout seul. LĂ , il y a un commencement d'ouverture en fondue de la musique. Oh putain, ils sont lĂ . Ils sont lĂ , les mĂ©chants, les guimauves de l'info. Y'en eu des anciens chauchemars sur les guing,nols l'infos etant petit , je pensait qu'ils exitsatit plus donc j'ai les appelĂ© comme le appelĂ© quand petit en secouant la tete and grimancant tres exagerantment pour les invoquer, un long silence de 3 secondes je me dit ouf mais la je doute Je commence Ă entendre la musique monter une musique melangant megaloviania et shonci - KRUSH ALERT , comme si le rave partait. Il me dit, putain, il faut que je me cache. Du coup, je me cache sur la couverture, mais ça ne se met pas compte. Je commence Ă ĂȘtre complĂštement fermĂ©. Enfin, couvert de la couverture sur moi, pour bien ĂȘtre cachĂ©. Pour ne pas que les mĂ©chants, les guimauves de l'info me trouvent. Et lĂ , j'entends la musique comme s'il y avait une fĂȘte Ă cĂŽtĂ©. Et en mĂȘme temps, elles sont assez proches, elles sont bien plus fortes. Et du coup, pour me rĂ©veiller, je secoue la tĂȘte, je tremble la tĂȘte. Comme ça, j'ai pas envie de me rĂ©veiller. Pour ne pas que dans ma tĂȘte, les mĂ©chants aspirent toutes mes souvenirs. Ils me feront une pression psychologique. Tu peux rĂ©sumer mon rĂȘve, s'il te plaĂźt ? En quelque chose de mieux construit sans erreur, en gardant l'histoire bien precis et detaillĂ© . c'est pas des guimave mais les guignols de l'infos
et sons alergiques au tissus faits par les humains d'ou la couverture !<
2024.05.19 17:00 tvrin Looking to replace my SoundCore 2 with something new, mostly for audiobooks.
Hi everyone, I'm currently looking for a decent replacement fot my worn out Anker SoundCore 2 that I've been using primarily for audiobooks and as an extra speaker for a set of devices.
Purpose: Primary: audiobooks Secondary: side-speaker that I could connect to any hardware with 3,5mm jack when other hardware is not available.
Absolutely need: * Physical buttons (no capacitive sensors). * USB-C charging * 3,5 mm aux in jack * No microphone * Works without any additional software (apps etc.) on Android, Widows, Linux, macOS. * Size: comparable to SoundCore 2 or smaller.
Nice to have: * Touch-coded buttons like in SoundCore 2 (different shapes of buttons so I can distinguish them by touch in darkness). * Good quality audio for speech, decent quality audio for music * Multipoint bluetooth pairing * Reasonable water resistance (think bathroom shelf, not swimming pool). * Decent build quality (dropping is to be expected) * Easy to clean (simple box shapes are best) * Good battery life is always a bonus, but it's mostly for home use, so don't overdo it :)
Budget: up to 300$, but 100-200$ range preferred. Thanks in advance for any suggestions!
submitted by tvrin to Bluetooth_Speakers [link] [comments]
Purpose: Primary: audiobooks Secondary: side-speaker that I could connect to any hardware with 3,5mm jack when other hardware is not available.
Absolutely need: * Physical buttons (no capacitive sensors). * USB-C charging * 3,5 mm aux in jack * No microphone * Works without any additional software (apps etc.) on Android, Widows, Linux, macOS. * Size: comparable to SoundCore 2 or smaller.
Nice to have: * Touch-coded buttons like in SoundCore 2 (different shapes of buttons so I can distinguish them by touch in darkness). * Good quality audio for speech, decent quality audio for music * Multipoint bluetooth pairing * Reasonable water resistance (think bathroom shelf, not swimming pool). * Decent build quality (dropping is to be expected) * Easy to clean (simple box shapes are best) * Good battery life is always a bonus, but it's mostly for home use, so don't overdo it :)
Budget: up to 300$, but 100-200$ range preferred. Thanks in advance for any suggestions!
2024.05.19 16:59 Jlynneknight Can you help me get clarity? I need to see him for the next 12 years.....
I I guess I'm looking for validation that this is textbook, and I am looking at this correctly. I guess that is the effect of being gaslit - you donât know your reality is really your reality. But I am here, and asking for help, because I will need to see him for the next 12 years (our kids go to the same school). This will be in passing and at events, but I am traumatized, still recovering, and just scared. I am looking for some insights because I spent about 2 months trying to fit my story into a box of emotional and narcissistic abuseâŠ. But it's not that....I see that now. If you are able to share tidbits of knowledge, or point me in the direction of more clarity, I would appreciate it so much. Thank you so so much.
I am going to write out the cliff notes. I imagine a lot of you can fill in the parts I leave out as from what I read on here, itâs typical.
I met him walking my kid to school. He walked the same way every day. Over time, we became friends, and I learned he was trying to leave his marriage. Once he did, the relationship happened fast â too fast. He seemed so 100 percent sure of me and it was odd. I often looked disheveled walking to school and tiredâŠ.I am not sure what he saw in me. But, I felt sure of him too, but wanted to go slower. I tried to slow it down, but at the same time, didn't. I am responsible for that. I felt like a hamster on a wheel after a few weeks and was able to tell him that I need the weekdays for myself, for my work, and for my kid. He seemed to respect that.
But he often romanticized the first few weeks together....even in the last days.
Quickly, I started to notice the emotional dysregulation. There was a lot going on for him: moving out, going through the divorce, parenting, workâŠ.so I understood it. I was also still getting to know him. Then severe trauma responses and triggers started happening. They would lead to these large child-like reactions with a lot of tears and anger. I didn't understand it but knew enough to know he had trauma to work through, and perhaps was feeling it for the first time. Each time this happened, there was nothing I could say to help or get him out of it, he would blame me a lot and say I was the cause, and he expected me (without saying it) to be there for him 110% even though I couldnât. And truthfully, I didnât want toâŠ.I wanted him to be able to handle that for himself or realize it was an issue. I didn't have the tools to deal with it and suggested he try deeper therapy. He agreed.
When he first met with the therapist, she told him it is like a virus takes over his brain and he is convinced in those moments. That was music to my ears at the time. But that is the last time I felt that way.
After a few months of this cycle continuing, I started detoriating. First my mental health, and then my physical health. I couldnât breathe. I felt like we couldnât go a few days without him reacting to something small. I wrote in my journal many times âthere's no amount of validation I can give this person.â
I didn't point it to excessive adoration and validation, I could not see that really, but if he texted me 5 things and I responded to all 4 logistical ones and ended with "love you too" I was chastised. If I was driving and did not respond to an âi love you,â I was called out for it. At the end of October, I told him I needed the weekend to clean my apartment. It happened to be 60 degrees that day and of course, I would have preferred to be outside, but I am an adult and could not blow off my commitment to myself to clean. That day he messaged me 18 times that me missed me. He kept inviting me out. I kept asking him to stop, because clearly I would prefer to do something else than clean, but needed to. The missing was excessive. I didnât even know what he meant. We lived next door to eachother. That night, I had to work, and he was upset with me because to him, it was optional and I should have chose to see him.
There were so many moments when he wanted so much comfort I couldn't provide. We were both single parents. That kind of affection goes to my kid....and I couldn't give it to him in that way. He would even want the affection when he hurt me.
He would see my daughter freak out at me and then say that I donât love her enough, and he would joke they are the sameâŠ.
It wasnât a joke?
As time went on, and his therapy went on, and he felt validated by the therapist, the blame came on more and never left. It started in August, and even when I'd get an apology, it would be for the impact (what I'm responsible for) and not his intent. He'd argue with me over seeing his intent clearly. I'd say I don't care about your intent, you're killing me. It didnât matter, nothing did.
I never felt like we could repair any incidents. As the blame went on, I really questioned myself. I wondered if he was right. What if I don't love enough? What if I don't receive love well? I've been in therapy for 20 years and know I have limitations but I'm not an assholeâŠ
I felt coerced a lot of the time.
I felt he wanted me to change a lot....he wanted me to be less blunt, more loving, more balanced, work less even though he was awful with money, have sex when sick, injured or mentally dead from the day, always be happy to see him, don't be affected by the trauma responses and don't try to talk to him about it, don't take space and if I do, prepare for some kind of punishment, love him and miss him endlessly, do everything together, if I am dysregulated, he wanted me to regulate with himâŠ.
I noticed I started taking precautions to keep myself dafe. I didnât realize I was setting boundaries to prevent the abuse but I was. Iâd say I was busy when I wasnât. I wouldnât accept or ask him to get me from the airport, knowing I would not be 100% happy after a flight and that would cause a fight (as it did). I didnât ask for help, and when I did ask for help, I would expect the help to not happen. I did not communicate anything he did âwrongâ (like, you said you would drop off quarters for laundry on mondayâŠ.do you have them?)
There were a lot of moments we would have deep conversations and I felt like we were getting somewhere, that he heard me.
I'll fast forward to the end because this is already way longer than I wantedâŠ.and itâs sad that I know it could be so much longer.
In the last month, he reacted and blamed me for everything. There were at least 5 major incidents. After the last one, I told him I was done. It was really bad and left me spending $50 to uber home in the snow, when I could barley walk as is (I had a herniated disc in my back and could barley walk). That month, I lost health insurance, and after begging for time to just take care of the injury, he told me we need intensive couples counseling. I had asked to just continue our therapist until we could change. That wasn't enough. The next weekend he asked me to go to a Gottman weekend. I said I couldn't leave my kid to do that right now and needed to take care of my help.
After that snow episode, that was really bad, laced with blame in the unpacking, I said I'm done, I can't do it. I was crying uncontrollably. I was scared. I really did not know who I was speaking to. After an hour, right when I needed to leave, he snapped out of whatever mindset he was in and told me he'd do anything, that he would work on anything, to please stay. I had to go, I could not think anymore. So in desperation, the only thing I asked for was to go alone on a trip with my daughter. He was scheduled to come with us. I said I needed time just with her. He agreed.
And honestly, he held up his end of the bargain....until he didn't.
3 days before the trip everything fell apart. I worked 12 hours that day and at the end of the day, went to pour water in a cup at home. It was the only time we had together before I left for the week. He hugged me from behind while I was pouring the water (....remember herniated disc in my back). I asked him to please stop and just let me have a second to pour the water.
He said "there's no turning back from this" and got his stuff to leave. I was floored. I was so upset because I knew where this was going - the blame game. He left, wouldn't come back, and then continued to blame me for the next 2 days about how I was an asshole the days before, only spent time with him out of obligation (not true), and rewrote history. I had a stomach bug all weekend and could not eat, but still tried to hang out as much as I reasonably could, and that was not enough.
The water incident was Wednesday, Thursday he had therapy and reinforced the blame, and I ended up leaving without saying goodbye. It was a week. I wanted to believe this relationship could survive a week. But I was clear with him days before: I am working up until I need to leave Friday so I can have real time off with my kid. He was upset I did not find him to say goodbye, even though he made no attempt to make peace earlier. But of course, my fault.
That night, he claimed down. Was nice. But it was a trap. After 12 hours of him being nice in text he said he was only doing it hoping I felt remorse and realized how wrong I was. He told me over and over he wouldn't see it differently. He said he read the transcript of our texts to 2 therapists and his friends and itâs clear: I am wrong. May be important to name here that we are both in our late 30âs.
I said that I want to work this out and I'll talk when we can actually discuss it and I'm willing to hear his side but not willing to blindly take all responsibility. He nailed me on every response, telling me how wrong my response was and what I should have done differently.
I was with my kid and could not talk. When I said "why are you doing this now, you know I canât really respond" he told me to stop avoiding.
That night, he ghosted me for the first time in the relationship and I panicked. I called him a few times. No answer.
The next day, despite him never doing that to me before, he called me controlling for calling.
At 7am the next morning he told me our relationship was over in a text. This man, who 7 days before was professing his love and understanding of me ended the engagement in a text. This of course continued with a back and forth. I asked him to please stop. To please pause and talk to me when i'm back in 5 days. He told me to fight for the relationship or it was over. I said âI am just waking up with my 7 year old, in a hotel, please stop.â I asked him to attend couples therapy in 3 days to talk this out. He said âyou accept all responsibility and change your behavior or we are done.â I asked if he was willing to talk and he said the problem was my perception and that it's wrong, so unless I change we are done. I knew this wasn't ok but I was so blindsided I did not know what to do. He agreed to go to couples therapy Thursday. We barley talked. There were a few more messages of him telling me he needs to know I can live a drama free life and celebrate his love and see it all as beautiful (almost verbatim). At this point, all I wanted to do is keep the dial down. I pushed back saying, âI cannot teach my daughter that someone can just tell her that her emotions and feelings are wrong, I hope you will be willing to talk and we can get on the same page.â
He agreed to go to couples therapy, and then didn't show up. He texted me 10 minutes before saying he was not going. I begged and pleaded. But he had the couples therapist to tell me he wasn't going to go. He had her tell me. I lost it. I lost my mind. I had been reeling for days. Not sleeping. Putting on a fake smile all day with my kid while I was dying inside. Staying up late to cry, process, read, figure out wtf was going onâŠ
I called him about 10 times and of course, he told me it was inappropriate. He then picked up and gave me 10 minutes. He again wanted me to take all responsibility for everything. I was so shaken, I just fawned. I said ok. When I'm back I hope we can talk but if you want me to accept blame for now, fine.
Everything was calmer for 2 days until we were heading back and he texted me something along the lines of "don't fool me" I was like wtf? He said "there's no turning back. There's no other chances." I was like wait what? And then it was "don't make me look like a fool" I had no idea what was going on. I was like "um what is this?" He essentially was reinforcing his stance: I am to blame for everything in the present and past. If I try to talk to him about his side I'm wrong. I need to repent and one wrong move (defined by him) is a misstep and there's no room for error (his words). I was like....I will be in a relationship based in reality, and I will own my part and parts, but i will not be in something that i'm to blame for everything. That is not healthy. I have also been in abusive relationships before.
He then stopped messaging me. Didn't care that we got into flight issues. Didn't care we made the flight back. That night he came over and was a victim. Claimed in the 5 days I was gone he found himself. That he wasn't focused at work because of me and now he is. He wanted to try to be together. I had no idea what reality I was in. We slept together. He left. And told me we'd talk the next day. All of this felt so weird but I was just hoping he would snap out of this and back to reality and we would be able to talk. But I also knew this had to end at this point.
The next day, he didn't answer me all day. This was the opposite of behavior I ever experienced from him. Did not respond to texts or pick up the phone. We had a training appointment and he had the trainer tell me he wasn't coming. I broke down in tears. I begged him to just answer a text. He didn't. He drove by me while walking the dog and did not stop. I emailed him, expressing my confusion, telling him this is not what we agreed to. He blocked me. That night I got an email from him letting me know he was moving 10 min away. He lived next door in another apt building. He actually assured me the day before he âwas not going anywhere.â In that email, he listed out the calls and texts I sent and how inappropriate it was. He never said we were done. He said taking space, needing spaceâŠso in my head I was confused but see it now.
I was inconsolable. I didnât respond.
But here is the issue I am still in: I needed to see him dropping his kid at school the next day. I will need to see him for the next 12 years unless I move.
The following Friday he stood next to me at a school event. I purposely stood in the back to have space and be able to leave if I needed to. He went next to me. When I told him he should sit, he said he didn't want to make it obvious to his ex wife. I asked him to speak that Friday. He said ok but he was moving. I cried instantly. Already? I said ok.
On Saturday am, I saw the truck pull up and left the house. I called him that Saturday. I was blocked.
The next wednesday he asked me for a series of logistics in a text. None of which I handled yet. Wanting me to cancel flights and settle up money spent together. No mention or responsibility for all the money wasted on tickets we will never use. But thenâŠin the text, asked for my engagement ring back.
I responded to logistics. Not the ring
He then called me 3 hours later because something went really wrong in his legal case. He wanted me to understand and validate him. I did....I just turned off my feelings for a moment. At the end he said, so about the flights. Can you handle it? "If i cancel it for you and your son i also have to do it for me and my kid. It's all on the same reservation" "well if you can go and not make sexual advances on me then we can try to go together.â I was like wtf? I could not have sex for months due to my injury. But he wanted to. Was this way of setting up blame that if we DID sleep together I would be to blame? I was like âI will cancel it for all of us.â
He then ran down more logistics and I said honestly you didn't seem done. I don't understand what you're doing. He said "im done" i hung up the phone.
He asked me for the ring again that night in a text. I said no, I need time to process this.
Everything since then has been a transaction. If i have a genuine emotion, he gets upset that i have it at all. He continues to sit next to me at school events because he claims he does not want his ex-wife to think we are done (this is insane to meâŠ.). I realize now that if it is a âgoodâ interaction he is happy. If I am sad, then it is a âbadâ one.
He never told his son we broke up, and shamed me for telling my daughter.
Recently he asked me a question and I was annoyed, and he said "can you not be mad at me?" I said âno, I can't not be mad at youâŠâ
In the last 3 months, heâs said "I don't want to confuse things" has come up a lot. I donât know if he is saying that to me or himself.
I have been so stuck trying to understand how I could not take space at all from him, to being totally discarded. I know he went back to spending, and drinking, but I donât think he is seeing anyone.
He only responds when he wants to. He ignores other things. I never was able to get an MRI for my back because the claim went through a DR he set up for me and he never sent me the info when I asked.
I got the money back he owed me, but still lost so much money.
He told me he missed me one time.
I donât know who this person is.
I will have to see him for the next 12 years while the kids are in school unless I move. I am not going to move just to avoid him, but I need to heal so I can be strong enough. I donât know if he is going to try to come back. I have been in therapy and am getting clearer about what brought me into this in the first place.
Any clarity you can help me with, on this, and what may come from here, would be really helpful. It will help me direct some of my searches and begin to piece things together to process in therapy. I have severe anxiety when I run into him at school.
I have never had to heal from something like this before. At first, I thought it was healing from a narcissistic discardâŠ.this feels like so much more.
Does it sound like he will want to come back?
Is there ever closure?
submitted by Jlynneknight to BPDlovedones [link] [comments]
I am going to write out the cliff notes. I imagine a lot of you can fill in the parts I leave out as from what I read on here, itâs typical.
I met him walking my kid to school. He walked the same way every day. Over time, we became friends, and I learned he was trying to leave his marriage. Once he did, the relationship happened fast â too fast. He seemed so 100 percent sure of me and it was odd. I often looked disheveled walking to school and tiredâŠ.I am not sure what he saw in me. But, I felt sure of him too, but wanted to go slower. I tried to slow it down, but at the same time, didn't. I am responsible for that. I felt like a hamster on a wheel after a few weeks and was able to tell him that I need the weekdays for myself, for my work, and for my kid. He seemed to respect that.
But he often romanticized the first few weeks together....even in the last days.
Quickly, I started to notice the emotional dysregulation. There was a lot going on for him: moving out, going through the divorce, parenting, workâŠ.so I understood it. I was also still getting to know him. Then severe trauma responses and triggers started happening. They would lead to these large child-like reactions with a lot of tears and anger. I didn't understand it but knew enough to know he had trauma to work through, and perhaps was feeling it for the first time. Each time this happened, there was nothing I could say to help or get him out of it, he would blame me a lot and say I was the cause, and he expected me (without saying it) to be there for him 110% even though I couldnât. And truthfully, I didnât want toâŠ.I wanted him to be able to handle that for himself or realize it was an issue. I didn't have the tools to deal with it and suggested he try deeper therapy. He agreed.
When he first met with the therapist, she told him it is like a virus takes over his brain and he is convinced in those moments. That was music to my ears at the time. But that is the last time I felt that way.
After a few months of this cycle continuing, I started detoriating. First my mental health, and then my physical health. I couldnât breathe. I felt like we couldnât go a few days without him reacting to something small. I wrote in my journal many times âthere's no amount of validation I can give this person.â
I didn't point it to excessive adoration and validation, I could not see that really, but if he texted me 5 things and I responded to all 4 logistical ones and ended with "love you too" I was chastised. If I was driving and did not respond to an âi love you,â I was called out for it. At the end of October, I told him I needed the weekend to clean my apartment. It happened to be 60 degrees that day and of course, I would have preferred to be outside, but I am an adult and could not blow off my commitment to myself to clean. That day he messaged me 18 times that me missed me. He kept inviting me out. I kept asking him to stop, because clearly I would prefer to do something else than clean, but needed to. The missing was excessive. I didnât even know what he meant. We lived next door to eachother. That night, I had to work, and he was upset with me because to him, it was optional and I should have chose to see him.
There were so many moments when he wanted so much comfort I couldn't provide. We were both single parents. That kind of affection goes to my kid....and I couldn't give it to him in that way. He would even want the affection when he hurt me.
He would see my daughter freak out at me and then say that I donât love her enough, and he would joke they are the sameâŠ.
It wasnât a joke?
As time went on, and his therapy went on, and he felt validated by the therapist, the blame came on more and never left. It started in August, and even when I'd get an apology, it would be for the impact (what I'm responsible for) and not his intent. He'd argue with me over seeing his intent clearly. I'd say I don't care about your intent, you're killing me. It didnât matter, nothing did.
I never felt like we could repair any incidents. As the blame went on, I really questioned myself. I wondered if he was right. What if I don't love enough? What if I don't receive love well? I've been in therapy for 20 years and know I have limitations but I'm not an assholeâŠ
I felt coerced a lot of the time.
I felt he wanted me to change a lot....he wanted me to be less blunt, more loving, more balanced, work less even though he was awful with money, have sex when sick, injured or mentally dead from the day, always be happy to see him, don't be affected by the trauma responses and don't try to talk to him about it, don't take space and if I do, prepare for some kind of punishment, love him and miss him endlessly, do everything together, if I am dysregulated, he wanted me to regulate with himâŠ.
I noticed I started taking precautions to keep myself dafe. I didnât realize I was setting boundaries to prevent the abuse but I was. Iâd say I was busy when I wasnât. I wouldnât accept or ask him to get me from the airport, knowing I would not be 100% happy after a flight and that would cause a fight (as it did). I didnât ask for help, and when I did ask for help, I would expect the help to not happen. I did not communicate anything he did âwrongâ (like, you said you would drop off quarters for laundry on mondayâŠ.do you have them?)
There were a lot of moments we would have deep conversations and I felt like we were getting somewhere, that he heard me.
I'll fast forward to the end because this is already way longer than I wantedâŠ.and itâs sad that I know it could be so much longer.
In the last month, he reacted and blamed me for everything. There were at least 5 major incidents. After the last one, I told him I was done. It was really bad and left me spending $50 to uber home in the snow, when I could barley walk as is (I had a herniated disc in my back and could barley walk). That month, I lost health insurance, and after begging for time to just take care of the injury, he told me we need intensive couples counseling. I had asked to just continue our therapist until we could change. That wasn't enough. The next weekend he asked me to go to a Gottman weekend. I said I couldn't leave my kid to do that right now and needed to take care of my help.
After that snow episode, that was really bad, laced with blame in the unpacking, I said I'm done, I can't do it. I was crying uncontrollably. I was scared. I really did not know who I was speaking to. After an hour, right when I needed to leave, he snapped out of whatever mindset he was in and told me he'd do anything, that he would work on anything, to please stay. I had to go, I could not think anymore. So in desperation, the only thing I asked for was to go alone on a trip with my daughter. He was scheduled to come with us. I said I needed time just with her. He agreed.
And honestly, he held up his end of the bargain....until he didn't.
3 days before the trip everything fell apart. I worked 12 hours that day and at the end of the day, went to pour water in a cup at home. It was the only time we had together before I left for the week. He hugged me from behind while I was pouring the water (....remember herniated disc in my back). I asked him to please stop and just let me have a second to pour the water.
He said "there's no turning back from this" and got his stuff to leave. I was floored. I was so upset because I knew where this was going - the blame game. He left, wouldn't come back, and then continued to blame me for the next 2 days about how I was an asshole the days before, only spent time with him out of obligation (not true), and rewrote history. I had a stomach bug all weekend and could not eat, but still tried to hang out as much as I reasonably could, and that was not enough.
The water incident was Wednesday, Thursday he had therapy and reinforced the blame, and I ended up leaving without saying goodbye. It was a week. I wanted to believe this relationship could survive a week. But I was clear with him days before: I am working up until I need to leave Friday so I can have real time off with my kid. He was upset I did not find him to say goodbye, even though he made no attempt to make peace earlier. But of course, my fault.
That night, he claimed down. Was nice. But it was a trap. After 12 hours of him being nice in text he said he was only doing it hoping I felt remorse and realized how wrong I was. He told me over and over he wouldn't see it differently. He said he read the transcript of our texts to 2 therapists and his friends and itâs clear: I am wrong. May be important to name here that we are both in our late 30âs.
I said that I want to work this out and I'll talk when we can actually discuss it and I'm willing to hear his side but not willing to blindly take all responsibility. He nailed me on every response, telling me how wrong my response was and what I should have done differently.
I was with my kid and could not talk. When I said "why are you doing this now, you know I canât really respond" he told me to stop avoiding.
That night, he ghosted me for the first time in the relationship and I panicked. I called him a few times. No answer.
The next day, despite him never doing that to me before, he called me controlling for calling.
At 7am the next morning he told me our relationship was over in a text. This man, who 7 days before was professing his love and understanding of me ended the engagement in a text. This of course continued with a back and forth. I asked him to please stop. To please pause and talk to me when i'm back in 5 days. He told me to fight for the relationship or it was over. I said âI am just waking up with my 7 year old, in a hotel, please stop.â I asked him to attend couples therapy in 3 days to talk this out. He said âyou accept all responsibility and change your behavior or we are done.â I asked if he was willing to talk and he said the problem was my perception and that it's wrong, so unless I change we are done. I knew this wasn't ok but I was so blindsided I did not know what to do. He agreed to go to couples therapy Thursday. We barley talked. There were a few more messages of him telling me he needs to know I can live a drama free life and celebrate his love and see it all as beautiful (almost verbatim). At this point, all I wanted to do is keep the dial down. I pushed back saying, âI cannot teach my daughter that someone can just tell her that her emotions and feelings are wrong, I hope you will be willing to talk and we can get on the same page.â
He agreed to go to couples therapy, and then didn't show up. He texted me 10 minutes before saying he was not going. I begged and pleaded. But he had the couples therapist to tell me he wasn't going to go. He had her tell me. I lost it. I lost my mind. I had been reeling for days. Not sleeping. Putting on a fake smile all day with my kid while I was dying inside. Staying up late to cry, process, read, figure out wtf was going onâŠ
I called him about 10 times and of course, he told me it was inappropriate. He then picked up and gave me 10 minutes. He again wanted me to take all responsibility for everything. I was so shaken, I just fawned. I said ok. When I'm back I hope we can talk but if you want me to accept blame for now, fine.
Everything was calmer for 2 days until we were heading back and he texted me something along the lines of "don't fool me" I was like wtf? He said "there's no turning back. There's no other chances." I was like wait what? And then it was "don't make me look like a fool" I had no idea what was going on. I was like "um what is this?" He essentially was reinforcing his stance: I am to blame for everything in the present and past. If I try to talk to him about his side I'm wrong. I need to repent and one wrong move (defined by him) is a misstep and there's no room for error (his words). I was like....I will be in a relationship based in reality, and I will own my part and parts, but i will not be in something that i'm to blame for everything. That is not healthy. I have also been in abusive relationships before.
He then stopped messaging me. Didn't care that we got into flight issues. Didn't care we made the flight back. That night he came over and was a victim. Claimed in the 5 days I was gone he found himself. That he wasn't focused at work because of me and now he is. He wanted to try to be together. I had no idea what reality I was in. We slept together. He left. And told me we'd talk the next day. All of this felt so weird but I was just hoping he would snap out of this and back to reality and we would be able to talk. But I also knew this had to end at this point.
The next day, he didn't answer me all day. This was the opposite of behavior I ever experienced from him. Did not respond to texts or pick up the phone. We had a training appointment and he had the trainer tell me he wasn't coming. I broke down in tears. I begged him to just answer a text. He didn't. He drove by me while walking the dog and did not stop. I emailed him, expressing my confusion, telling him this is not what we agreed to. He blocked me. That night I got an email from him letting me know he was moving 10 min away. He lived next door in another apt building. He actually assured me the day before he âwas not going anywhere.â In that email, he listed out the calls and texts I sent and how inappropriate it was. He never said we were done. He said taking space, needing spaceâŠso in my head I was confused but see it now.
I was inconsolable. I didnât respond.
But here is the issue I am still in: I needed to see him dropping his kid at school the next day. I will need to see him for the next 12 years unless I move.
The following Friday he stood next to me at a school event. I purposely stood in the back to have space and be able to leave if I needed to. He went next to me. When I told him he should sit, he said he didn't want to make it obvious to his ex wife. I asked him to speak that Friday. He said ok but he was moving. I cried instantly. Already? I said ok.
On Saturday am, I saw the truck pull up and left the house. I called him that Saturday. I was blocked.
The next wednesday he asked me for a series of logistics in a text. None of which I handled yet. Wanting me to cancel flights and settle up money spent together. No mention or responsibility for all the money wasted on tickets we will never use. But thenâŠin the text, asked for my engagement ring back.
I responded to logistics. Not the ring
He then called me 3 hours later because something went really wrong in his legal case. He wanted me to understand and validate him. I did....I just turned off my feelings for a moment. At the end he said, so about the flights. Can you handle it? "If i cancel it for you and your son i also have to do it for me and my kid. It's all on the same reservation" "well if you can go and not make sexual advances on me then we can try to go together.â I was like wtf? I could not have sex for months due to my injury. But he wanted to. Was this way of setting up blame that if we DID sleep together I would be to blame? I was like âI will cancel it for all of us.â
He then ran down more logistics and I said honestly you didn't seem done. I don't understand what you're doing. He said "im done" i hung up the phone.
He asked me for the ring again that night in a text. I said no, I need time to process this.
Everything since then has been a transaction. If i have a genuine emotion, he gets upset that i have it at all. He continues to sit next to me at school events because he claims he does not want his ex-wife to think we are done (this is insane to meâŠ.). I realize now that if it is a âgoodâ interaction he is happy. If I am sad, then it is a âbadâ one.
He never told his son we broke up, and shamed me for telling my daughter.
Recently he asked me a question and I was annoyed, and he said "can you not be mad at me?" I said âno, I can't not be mad at youâŠâ
In the last 3 months, heâs said "I don't want to confuse things" has come up a lot. I donât know if he is saying that to me or himself.
I have been so stuck trying to understand how I could not take space at all from him, to being totally discarded. I know he went back to spending, and drinking, but I donât think he is seeing anyone.
He only responds when he wants to. He ignores other things. I never was able to get an MRI for my back because the claim went through a DR he set up for me and he never sent me the info when I asked.
I got the money back he owed me, but still lost so much money.
He told me he missed me one time.
I donât know who this person is.
I will have to see him for the next 12 years while the kids are in school unless I move. I am not going to move just to avoid him, but I need to heal so I can be strong enough. I donât know if he is going to try to come back. I have been in therapy and am getting clearer about what brought me into this in the first place.
Any clarity you can help me with, on this, and what may come from here, would be really helpful. It will help me direct some of my searches and begin to piece things together to process in therapy. I have severe anxiety when I run into him at school.
I have never had to heal from something like this before. At first, I thought it was healing from a narcissistic discardâŠ.this feels like so much more.
Does it sound like he will want to come back?
Is there ever closure?