Ok so there's another post from the same introvert top lol. I posted yesterday about how our lgbtq community treats each other, like hookups and not understanding about what actual relationship is,not taking each other seriously and play with other's feelings and I got a pretty amazing response on it and I was glad that people do feel like me
But all of the sudden when I check my phone at night my account was restricted and I couldn't send a message or see my own posts. Idk why it happened, maybe because of so many messages,so many upvotes and all. Khair long story short I was talking with some very mature persons and now I couldn't connect with them and idk how to connect with them again
If any of you see this post I'd love to talk to you again and there's another guy who was planning to make a server on discord where we educate curious buddies and make thing easier for community,if you see this let's talk about it and give it a try
Peace ✌️ have a great day you all ❣️

The church's earliest visitors on Sunday are a group of kind-hearted do-gooders. And Lucas is there too.
The group, including Lucas, is diligently doing last-minute preparations, carefully and skillfully tending to the food they expertly prepared yesterday. Every single person involved in the work does their part with impressive ease and earned confidence. Lucas's careful contributions, both his direct, visible work, and the boons conferred by his presence allow them to do their work with newfound ease, confidence, and remarkable luck. Lucas occasionally makes minor missteps, but those are due more to the drawbacks he is enduring than anything he actually does. And every time he makes a mistake it's so minor a few deft movements are enough for him to overcome them. All the while he is texting Hannah and is visibly excited to volunteer, even though his motives are still quite selfish.
Lucas wisely does not take a leadership role here. The diligent figure follows the lead of his more experienced peers, and his endless, untiring contributions are enough to allow the group to be ready in an hour, completing work that normally takes them two or three thanks to the various perks Lucas grants them, as well as his actual, material contributions. When the group is ready, Lucas suggests they all swap stories about what led them to volunteer here.
The five volunteers and the pastor encourage the newcomer to go first, and he deftly weaves a tale that incorporates bits and pieces of the backstory he constructed for himself at his job. He explains that he grew up as the only child of a family in a small town and that he has been volunteering in minor capacities his whole life. He tells his new friends the same fanciful lies he told his coworkers and is a bit shocked when he gets the "Storytelling" skill. After that, his companions share their own stories with him. The pastor goes first, explaining that when he took over the church not one charitable act was occurring here and in only a few short years the pastor has massively changed that. The others all share various stories about how they've needed food before, or known people who needed a meal, and so they wanted to make sure that if someone needed a meal they could get it. The stories stir Lucas's heart, and he feels a pang of sincere admiration for his new friends. That said the pragmatic figure is not someone who is so kind-hearted that he'd lose sight of his larger objectives here.
While his companions share their stories he activates "Rogue", but focuses the skill on his hands. This decision almost completely cloaks his hands, rendering them invisible just long enough for Lucas to pour healing magic into the soup. He pours all of his magical energy into the stuff, exhausting himself but that is a minor inconvenience given one of his handy toys and especially when he receives a notification alerting him that he has gained an "Overcharge" skill; the ability to empower something by putting more into it.
As soon as everyone finishes their stories there is just enough time for the group of volunteers to go and get ready for the first of the arrivals at the kitchen. When Lucas is out of view of everyone he reaches into his inventory and pulls out his nifty arcane potion and downs it. The instant that the golden liquid touches his lips his power begins to flow back into him, suffusing his very soul. Minutes later the lad is welcoming guests and visitors to the church. People excitedly greet him, stunned in two different ways by his appearance.
Firstly there is the fact that Lucas is stunning, aesthetically. No matter one's preferences, no one can honestly deny his wholesome movie star looks, and no one tries to. But here, in the soup kitchen, that's the less important part of his appeal. The more important aspect of his appearance is his newness. Many of the people who appear early are people who come to the church regularly, and they recognize everyone there but him. This gives the young volunteer a chance to make several new admirers, and he navigates these social interactions with aplomb. The figure, at this point, doesn't even rely on his perks, having grown accustomed to his new life and reality.
As the figure encourages the visitors to come and grab food he is extremely pleased when he feels time freeze the first time someone tastes the food he made. This is due to the fact that he is making progress towards his quest to become a "White Mage" the formal name given to the "Healer" class he received a quest to become earlier this week, The quest asks him to heal 100 people, and this marks one of the first times he has made progress towards it. The figure smiles internally as he deactivates the notification that froze time and continues the important work he's been assigned; welcoming guests and working to log in the information they're willing to give about themselves. To achieve this task the eager go-getter has a clipboard and is stationed near the entrance to the part of the church that houses the kitchen where the chefs made the food. Every time someone new eats the food he spelled to be restorative the figure has to deal with paused time, but only the first time someone lifts some of the ensorcelled food to their lips, and each time his excitement at the prospect of obtaining a new class grows more intense.
For the first hour only long-term, regular members of the church's congregation, and their hungry friends, come to the kitchen. The pastor is one of the figures serving them food, while Lucas continues the important work he was asked to do. During this time 22 people make their way through the kitchen, greeting Lucas with excited smiles and happily volunteering the same information they've volunteered before to other individuals tasked with doing Lucas's current work. The young jumper listens to distant conversations even as he writes down the information of various individuals. He smiles internally whenever he overhears someone saying that the food tastes different somehow, better than it has before. Such individuals also sometimes notice how immediately the pain they're in lessens, their old aches and pains fading and in some cases disappearing altogether. They don't know about the magic that is repairing their bodies, the sacred energies that course into them with every faint bite or spoonful of food they eat. Also during this time the chef gains more experience
Lucas doesn't consciously know this but his decision to pour all of his magic into the food has supercharged it. If not for his decision to infuse the food with healing magic again time, coupled with the diffuse nature of the soup would have weakened the healing properties of the magic, but Lucas's choice to suffuse the food with as much magic as he could in short order before the hungry congregants and community members began to arrive has sanctified the food and empowered it's naturally restorative and fortifying properties almost making it something like a potion of sorts.
More people begin to arrive during the second hour of the meal serving period. Some of these people are brand new, and of them a handful gawk at Lucas. These individuals, include homeless youth. teen parents, and college students can't resist the urge to take in the cool glass of water on a hot day that is the charming volunteer. His ability to feign kindness and his almost but not quite eerie sense of their emotional states is enough to allow them to develop crushes, platonic or otherwise, on the figure. And in the space of the hour 40 such individuals come through and eat more of Lucas's cooking, enough to allow him to level up his chef class one more time. He eagerly takes a new class ability, one that allows him to grant food he cooks very minor buffs, though he finds that it's not retroactive.
During this time the pastor gives a very brief address to the crowd of gathered individuals, and introduces Lucas to everyone though Lucas has already been social enough and diligent enough to do that himself. Lucas eagerly thanks everyone for joining them today, and during this time he experiences a very subtle glitch where he says a word but no one notices it. The young adventurer simply ignores the glitch, but not before noting that it's the first one he's experienced in a public situation.
During the last forty five minutes of the meal more people come through, and this group is the oddest and the largest. These folks are the irregulars; people who occasionally need the meals the kitchen provides but who don't love prospect of coming to the kitchen. This group numbers a total 45 of individuals, and by the time they eat the effects of the food are less miraculous, but still solidly strong. At the same time when the next to last person to eat grabs a spoonful of soup and lifts it to her lips she is unknowingly responsible for time freezing and Lucas gaining a new class, The excited hero immediately changes classes and gains a boost to his intelligence and charisma as a result of it as well as just enough experience to boost the power of "Support", making this the first time that a perk of his has been directly strengthened to a quantifiable extent.
"Support" is the most subtle of Lucas's perks other than "The Devil's Own Luck". This perk makes him a more effective leader and teammate, and boosts the efforts of his c;lose-by allies by the equivalent of a "+2", until just now, modifier in TTRPG terms and weakens the efforts of his c;lose-by enemies by "-2", or now "-3". In layman's terms all of the efforts of his allies by a tiny but noticeable margin and weakens the efforts of his enemies by an equal amount. The perk also allows for buffs or debuffs to affect all allies or enemies in close proximity to each other, but Lucas has not had many chances to buff allies or fight enemies. One effect this perk has had is that it allows his friends to cook food that is more delicious, more filling, and healthier than their past efforts. Another effect of it is that it has helped those who eat said food to ingest it more easily and thus allows them to eat it without fears of stomach pains. New spells also appear in the hero's mental grimoire, ones that offer minor buffs or debuffs to friends and enemies, targeting their attributes, but none that consider Lucas a viable target.
The hero delights in his new class and is excited to have the chance to grow as a healer and support provider but the day isn't done. When the last of the crowd leaves Lucas and the rest of his friends stay behind to clean up. Lucas is eager to put his newly enhanced perk to the test, and during these efforts Lucas gains the "Cleaner" class, a class whose initial benefits to him include a boost to his senses and to his skill with anything intended to be used to clean something. During the cleaning, Lucas does not quite gain enough experience to level up, but he knows that he will in time.
Eventually Lucas bids his new friends farewell and makes his way to the gym. He works out somewhat intensely during this time, gaining a series of new skills in the form of swimming and boxing, thanks to his time engaging in a decently stimulating jaunt around the lap pool, followed by his participation in a class that revolves around self-defense. Thanks to "Master of All" and his decision to swap classes to "Fighter" he manages to level up both his "Mage" and his "Fighter" class, opting to give himself a boost to his endurance as a class skill for "Fighter", and a boost to the rate at which he regenerates arcane energy as his class skill for "Mage". It is during this time that Lucas figures out that for his classes to level up he needs to gain class-based experience, but this is the first time that he has seen that he can level a class up without having the class equipped, there just seems to be some relative debuff to the experience gained by the classes he doesn't have equipped. This insight boosts his intelligence, the realization itself serving as a sort of training of the attribute.
By the time Lucas returns to his apartment he is immensely satisfied with the day he has had. The moon is visible in the night's sky when he steps into his apartment he is ready to spend the rest of the day honing his skills and gaining valuable experience. He immediately starts this off by using some of his magic to mess with some of his possessions, positioning and repositioning them as he pleases with telekinesis. For the first time the figure shuts his eyes and practices his telekinesis by feeling alone, an exercise which results in the acquisition of a strange new skill: Extrasensory Perception, or ESP. The figure excitedly practices this skill, even as he levels up his "Spatial Magic" skill and gains an expensive new spell: "Minor Teleport". This particular spell lets him teleport objects he can see and hit with a small magical ray, causing light, small objects he hits to appear in his hand. The mage's skills with this are enough to allow him to hit a kitchen knife with it and teleport it to him without any issues. Lucas's mind fills with possibilities as he takes in the wicked potential of this spell. Still, the spell costs enough that he can only cast it once or twice without waiting for his pool of arcane energy to recover which limits it's usefulness somewhat but that's only a short term problem.
Monday rolls around and when it does Lucas is delighted to find that he is familiar enough with his surroundings that he settles into a routine. The jumper almost immediately throws himself into his work the minute he arrives at the office and he quickly grinds the day away. The only notable event is his realization that Amy is developing a crush on him, something he notices during lunch when he is eating with her and their small cadre of colleagues, when she eagerly asks him about volunteering. On Monday afternoon the lad goes to the gym and works out, taking another dancing class and leveling up the class partway through the workout. He gains a class skill which allows him to more easily persuade anyone who sees him perform a few dances, which he realizes probably won't be very useful in this jump but might mean something later on in his "Chain" as his employer called it several days ago.
The figure spends part of the night leveling his rogue class and gaining skills associated with it thanks in part to his "Rogue" perk and his new spells. He sticks to public places, and stays out just long enough for some shopping outlets and malls to close. He limits his targets to small objects like keys and wallets with his magic, and occasionally targets people with debuffs. He also levels "Observe" enough that he can learn the moods of living things just by using the skill, When his rogue class levels up he snags a new skill which boosts the effectiveness of his actions when he is unseen by the people he is targeting. He also snags a title: "Arcane Sneak", which boosts his magical regeneration when he is unnoticed by people or in the immediate aftermath of him using magic to take something that belongs to someone else.
The next month and a half passes in a blur, and Lucas develops a decently strict schedule he sticks to. On Mondays he trains a specific class, not necessarily rogue but definitely something. On Tuesdays he works out, including taking Zumba, a boxing class, and swimming. On Wednesdays he does meal prep and stays at home honing minor stuff. On Thursday he does some sort of volunteering, and on Fridays he actually relaxes and does something like writing or website design. The weekends are filled with volunteering and city exploration.
During this time his classes, other than chef, dancer, and mage, are slow to level up. He actively practices magic, he is a regular chef, and he turns a passive admiration he once had for dancers into something he is surprisingly passionate about. He also begins to volunteer at the hospital he visited, spending a few hours every Saturday in a small room in the back of the hospital looking through paperwork and doing stuff he didn't anticipate a hospital volunteer doing. Still, he quickly racks up trust and admiration from the few hospital staff members who know of him, thanks to his ability to just not complain, coupled with his stunning effectiveness at what he does.
As he begins to approach the two month mark he is a level 10 chef, level 12 dancer, and a level 6 mage, and a level 3 fighter, rogue, and white mage, as well as a level 4 cleaner. It turns out that each class levels a bit differently, which has inadvertently skewed his leveling but he's become an advanced enough chef that his food can be actively beneficial or detrimental and that there is now a 5% reduction in how long it takes him to cook something. He can also now gain modifiers to his interactions with people who've eaten several dishes he's made, provided they enjoyed them. His dancing is similarly useful, and he is a much better mage now than he once was. The figure can also cast spells and use an ability that prevents something from getting dirty, or magically cleanse objects. Despite all of this he remains a level 1 human, having not gained any experience that would level him as a member of his species; it seems that for him to gain such experience he needs to engage in combat and even when he's sparred with people he doesn't fight them to unconsciousness.
He leaves his apartment on the last Monday in October with a smile on his face, ready to begin a new work week.

Ok so there's another post from the same introvert top lol. I posted yesterday about how our lgbtq community treats each other, like hookups and not understanding about what actual relationship is,not taking each other seriously and play with other's feelings and I got a pretty amazing response on it and I was glad that people do feel like me
But all of the sudden when I check my phone at night my account was restricted and I couldn't send a message or see my own posts. Idk why it happened, maybe because of so many messages,so many upvotes and all. Khair long story short I was talking with some very mature persons and now I couldn't connect with them and idk how to connect with them again
If any of you see this post I'd love to talk to you again and there's another guy who was planning to make a server on discord where we educate curious buddies and make thing easier for community,if you see this let's talk about it and give it a try
Peace ✌️ have a great day you all ❣️

So… long story short, we have always had this off and on again friendship. This most recent on again friendship has been going on for about a year or so? We got really close, haven’t spent more than a day or two without talking to each other and have even talked about the possibility of some kind of future with each other(not very seriously and not even that recently, but it’s been mentioned). He is working out of the country currently but is due to come back to where “home” is later this year. He went on vacation from work to visit family and just ghosted me… kinda? Like… he was texting me while he was on the plane and at the airport, but the second he was picked up from the airport… I’ve gotten radio silence since. This is the part I’m confused about. While I haven’t heard actual words from him or gotten any texts, he still is sending me TikTok’s and Facebook videos and has reacted to messages I’ve sent him . His vacation is about a month long and is about half way through it. For the first week, all I got was a reaction to the message but this past week, every day or two, I’ll get 2-3 videos sent to me. I just… am not understanding it and am confused by it. Any ideas?

This is gonna be a rant and I guess I looking for validation but I know I will have someone in the community disagree with me since that has already happen to me within a suppose to be safe place within our community. Knew I was ace since 17 but was with an allo partner and 2 years after the breakup I decided to explore more with my a sexuality and dating sites. I have gotten so many messages regarding the things I post and it honestly shocked me. I think another reason I was always afraid to form connections within the ace community is because of the stereotype we have for being social awkward, prudish , unattractive and not ALLL OF US ARE LIKE THAT. Long story short I posted a photo of myself and it offended someone and they question my asexuality. My allo friends and other ace friends didn’t see what was the issue…. Is this a common experiences for other aces? Is this an issue that is common in the community overall or an issue of sexism , misogyny, or what ? I just trying to figure out why can’t I want to be sexy but not want sex. We need more representation of all forms of ace people and not the ones who can cause harm to those are not like them. I know there are other aces like me.
Disclaimer: I’m not saying all issues are awkward and all of that I just always heard that from other members of LGBTQ+ so they told me to beware but I didn’t think allllllll are like that but since joining the community I have had those encounters and if anyone wants to see the photo I can PM

So I (21M) bought a ring as a birthday present for a girl (21F) I kind of had a crush on for about half a year and maybe this was the last effort of me trying to figure out if she liked me too since there sometimes were signs of that but I don't really think she did. Long story short, her Birthday Party was cancelled and since she lives pretty far away, I didn't get to give the ring to her and probably won't be able to for a long time. Now recently I met a new girl (20F) who I'm pretty sure likes me and with whom I'm closer with after a month than with the other after half a year. Now her birthday is coming up and I know to 99% that she would love the ring too, but I don't know if I would feel bad knowing it wasn't originally bought for her. On the other hand, if it works out with her it would be kinda weird to gift the first one a RING of all things, so I would just sit on it forever. Nobody knows that I bought it and it is just a nice ring, nothing of Engagement or some sorts fyi. Would you just buy a new Gift or use the one you already got?

[Actually, in hindsight, it’s a terribly sad story, but when it was happening, I thought I was striking back and hard at the people who had hurt me]
I had a so-so childhood. On the one hand, we never lacked anything materially. But we had a very complicated family situation. After the divorce, my mother took me, while my father took my sister. The worst part for me was that I grew up in a home with two abusive, cruel people (my mother and stepfather). And my sister grew up with my very sensitive and kind father and a gentle and good stepmother. So, I kind of felt like I had lost and she had won the lottery called: "parents".
But of course, it wasn't her fault. Nobody’s fault. Fate. Chance. The foolishness of adults.
We all (both families) had an agreement that we (sisters) would always be taken on vacations together. That means if my mother and stepfather wanted to take me somewhere, they would take my sister too. And vice versa. When my father and his wife went somewhere, they would take me along with my sister. The idea was for us to stay in touch. But also to avoid favoring either of us.
But I had a dream! I desperately wanted to go to Disneyland! I asked for it many times, but there was never an opportunity. It didn’t really matter, because we traveled to different countries. And even within our country, we went to very interesting and beautiful places. In that regard, I really couldn’t complain.
Until one day, for some reason I don’t even remember – I was alone at my father’s house. Hours passed, and this was a time when you could only have internet via a phone cable! So out of boredom, I reached for the shelf with photo albums (yes, yes – back in the day, all photos were kept in albums, hahaha).
I was browsing through various memories until I came across some photos… My father and his wife had taken my sister to Disneyland. And they didn’t take me. My probably then 15-year-old heart broke. It must have happened a good 2-3 years earlier. And no one told me? Not even my sister? They kept it such a secret?
I flipped through page after page and cried. Photo after photo. How happy they looked…
I cried. Like a lot! But time passed and I put the albums back on the shelf.
I actually wanted to talk to them about it. Ask about it...
But when they came back (my sister was elsewhere, only the adults returned) – they asked how I was feeling and if I had been bored. And I just couldn't start the subject. So I said I had been wandering around the apartment, picked up a few books (which was true), and then started looking at photos…
I was hoping for some reaction. But they probably didn’t even remember what photos were there. So they were happy.
“And? Did you have a good time?”
I was stunned. And decided to start testing them now.
“Well… Great…” I said. “But I’d like to look at those photos with you, because I don’t remember everything. Will you tell me about some of the pictures?”
“Sure!” they both replied!
And my father reached for the first album from the shelf. With the oldest photos.
I had the impression he hesitated. That he understood what was hidden 3 albums further down. But he didn’t let it show. Instead, he invited me to the kitchen. “We’ll look at them there,” he said, “we’ll make some coffee and tea and we can talk!”
“But I don’t want to! I said – it’s so comfortable here! On the couch! And there are only chairs in the kitchen!”
“Then we’ll go to the other room,” my father said, literally lifting me up by the shoulders and leading me away.
I gave in. OK. Let it be. I already know what you’re doing. And you don’t yet know what I’m doing… I thought.
They both sat next to me – him and her – and we looked at photos from the first album.
“Next!” I said when we finished that one.
And so on and so on. Until they said there were no more.
“Hmmm…” I replied. “Impossible. There was a red one on the shelf. And there’s no red one here! So something’s missing!”
“No, no,” my father replied, “there’s nothing else there.”
“Of course there is!” I shouted like a five-year-old and ran to the room before anyone could stop me. And… there was no album. They had already hidden it.
I returned to them and asked where the red album was.
And they said they never had a red album. That I was mistaken. And that it was time for dinner.
I said nothing.
I looked them in the eyes. Searching for any understanding. Some truth. Both were sweating, stressed as hell. But the thought of finally getting out of this uncomfortable situationand going to make dinner saved them.
I stayed the night. Because I had no choice.
And in the morning, just before leaving, I left a photo on the bed that I had taken while browsing. A photo of the three of them. Smiling. Happy. At Disneyland. While I experienced abuse from “my” parents almost every day…
About 15 minutes after I left, the calls from my father and stepmother started.
But I didn’t answer.
For 2, maybe even 3 years, I didn’t answer. My heart was broken.
Later, we reconnected and today we live quite normally and in friendship.
I forgave them long ago.
But somehow, I can’t forget.

Hi Long story short, I need a good laptop for games and one with great battery life to use in uni. Was comparing various models for a really long time, but that's what I liked the most (Legion Slim 5 16APH8), but I am not really sure whether I will have decent fps with 2K and 165Hz. What can you tell me about this and, perhaps, recommend something else? My budget is around $1250

Thank you in advance

A few days ago we fought from 1:30a till about 8am. We have lengthy arguments like this all the time. We used to date, and it played a key role in the end of our relationship along with us having different values in general. I made it clear before we started dating I can't handle much fighting, particularly yelling, because of aspects of my childhood.
Two fights happened on my two birthdays- or before other important things like it's the night before a road trip or I'm ON the road trip. They happen when I want to go to bed or I'm about to run an errand. He monologs for literal hours at a time, and I can't speak up when he speaks incorrectly on my part because then I'm interrupting him and that causes more issues than me being misunderstood or remembered incorrectly.
In our relationship they were often caused by me not wanting him to pay my for my phone/phone bill before we'd been dating for even 3 months, though they were also caused by me being late to coming over and stuff like that as well. Sometimes I'd accidentally fall asleep after work instead of coming over, if I lay down after a shower, which I did a few times as I worked very early in the morning, and it made him feel like I didn't value his time.
I didn't talk to him for a few months after we broke up, even though he tried to contact me to apologize several times by texting/phonecalls/visiting several times at my apartment. Eventually someone knocked on my door and I opened it before I realized it was him. I didn't want to turn him away so we talked and he very sincerely apologized and talked about how he'd been going to therapy. I could recognize a great deal of change in him and we caught up on eachothers lives.
I moved to a different state like a week after we got in contact and i am struggling with this long distance friendship. He wants to talk all the time and I.. don't. I enjoy texting but sometimes I want to watch a show or play a game uninterrupted, but if I don't respond enough he feels ignored. He also likes to talk on the phone all the time and I really really don't enjoy talking on the phone at all, especially for hours at a time. We talked every night for a couple weeks in the beginning. But after a bad fight i reminded him I don't like being on the phone and said I wanted some space, which had been on my mind prior to the argument. The next week we talk on the phone for like 3 nights for a few hours, and maybe a few other little calls here and there, but he says it's not enough
But the thing is.. even when we talked for hours every night and texted pretty often it still wasn't enough. The only time it was enough was a short window when I checked my phone pretty obsessively to make sure I didn't miss a message from him and always stopped what I was doing to take his call
If my snap score goes up when we're not talking he asks me about it. I don't know why but I feel uncomfortable explaining to him the other people I talk to in the day. And often I'm not even talking to them when I'm not talking to him- they send me snaps when I'm not on my phone. I don't respond to anyone unless I make sure I respond to him first to avoid this exact issue. I feel anxious when my friends snap me because I know my score will go up and he's going to ask me about it
For the most part, our fights presently revolve around him feeling like I don't care enough about our friendship or he's feeling ignored by me. But I really really don't know what to do anymore. I was talking on the phone for hours at a time, I was texting all the time and keeping my responses as long as possible.. I was planning movie days, etc. It was never enough.
He's upset my responses are getting shorter. And to be honest they have. Often times I talk about my life, especially someone else in my life, it triggers a fight. Not always in the moment but it always comes back to bite me in the butt later. Particularly if I'm hanging out with my roommate, because in my friends eyes he and I get to hang out with all time. Which we kind of don't- my time is far more devoted to my friend than my roomate. But even if it wasn't- I like hanging out with my roomate because we can quietly sit in the same room together, and we don't have any conflict. He is a very kind presence and I'm grateful to have him as a friend.
It's hard talking about your life while also revealing the bare minimum about your life, and so I'm responding kind of shortly about my things and just try to focus on him.
The fight we had a few days ago was about us not talking enough. Sort of. The reasons our fights go on for hours is because I don't know how to respond to him when he brings up an issue. I sincerely try my best and I try it all. When he brings something up I explain to him I understand his concerns, both using his exact words and in my own words I explain why he's upset. If I agree with him I will apologize and tell him how I'm going to fix it and I fix it, after we fight for a few hours ofc, because he doesn't believe I can understand/apologize and fix something so early into a conversation.
Other times he keeps pushing me to explain myself, but if I explain my pov, things really really blow up because I don't always agree with him. And I think he confuses me not agreeing with him to not understanding. One of our fights came because he was upset when I got home with my roommate at 1am, when I had a 3 hour drive at 8am the next morning. Which blows my mind, because he fought with me literally all night before I drove across the state. I didn't tell him that though, I said I didn't mind getting home till 1 because I had fun when I was out and will still get plenty of sleep. But we still fought.
Anyway... the other day he brought up he feels like we don't talk enough. And I said I understand it's hard but this is the boundary I'm setting because I don't enjoy being on the phone. We fight and he says that even when we do talk I'm not talking enough right now. We fight and I reluctantly told him I just don't feel comfortable opening up right now. We fight and fight and it's turning me into a person I dont know or how to control.
In the beginning of our relationship I was quiet and just agreed to everything he said to avoid the argument. This didnt always work but it tends to. Now I get so overwhelmed and angry after several hours I mute my phone and scream into my pillow. This last call I started hitting myself, which I've never done before, and the next day my cheeks were bumpy and itchy, my forehead was swollen, my scalp hurt to touch, and I'm still getting over my two black eyes. He did NOT cause me to hit myself and he doesn't know. I feel silly for doing it. But I find myself at my breaking point and I don't know how to manage these fights anymore.
After hours and hours I break down and I just start agreeing to whatever he says I'm wrong about because I want it to end. I repeat the very thing I said eight hours ago- what I'm wrong about and how I'm going to fix it, but only now after crying on the phone all night long is it kind of enough.
He sent me a long apology the morning after the fight and said he wouldn't do it anymore. I thanked him for not wanting those fights anymore. He sent me a pic of his dog and I said she was cute. That night I let our streak die. He messaged me this morning "you let our streak die" and I sat at my phone for ten minutes thinking of how to respond and eventually I just decided not to. He called me twice tonight at around 8pm and texted that he wanted us to talk for a bit, but i had made plans with another friend of mine a week ago to play animal crossing, so I did that and didn't respond to him. At 3am I saw he was typing on snapchat and I'm anxious because I've been receiving snaps and know my score went up, even though I have sent zero snaps to keep the number as low as I can
I know he wants to be friends still
But I sort of don't want to be friends anymore???? I really love the positive things in our relationship. In a lot of ways he was the best boyfriend and best friend I've ever had. But I can't do this anymore. I hate the person I am in these fights. I know he does not control my actions, it is not his fault I scream in my pillow or gave myself black eyes. But I have never in my life had any sort of romantic or friendly relationship like this. And I don't enjoy it. I really really love not fighting with my loved ones. And I really feel like no matter what I do to make him feel heard when he brings up an issue it's not enough. Every fight we have damages our friendship, which I've told him several times. I used to get over them easily but I am just so drained I always feel wary for the next blow up.
But I don't want him to feel like I'm abandoning our friendship? I don't know how to end a friendship? I've never had one end that wasn't a result of just growing apart. I don't know what to do. Sometimes I wish I never opened my door when he came over. I'm supposed to go to my home state shortly and I'm very anxious about being in the same state as him

i’ve seen videos of cats being able to sense when their owners were sick and i thought it was adorable but never really believed it until today. i had to go run some errands next door at the mall but as i was waiting for the lift, i started feeling really lightheaded but didn’t think too much of it. I am very prone to fainting and it usually just happens out of no where but i am now able to identify my symptoms before i fully pass out. long story short, i almost passed out at the mall a few times because i wasn’t able to walk or stand up for long but i didn’t want to draw any attention to myself so the journey home was really tough.
i come home and my cat who is usually very clingy became more clingy and would just not leave my side. i was able to reach my bed before i fully passed out and when i came to my cat was sniffing me and stepping all over me. i’m not sure that means but im assuming he was just confused. i got up and went to give him his dinner and usually he would gobble it up immediately but this time he didn’t even bother taking a bite and crawled back into bed with me. he’s now just watching me and slowly drifting off into sleep but every time i move, he would wake back up and stare as if he’s watching over me. he really is my little guardian angel.

I will talk about a hearthbreaking crime in Turkey. Ata Emre Akman was 20 year old motor courier. One night he got stabbed 25 times by E.O(17yrs.old). Then Ata Emre died. In the next few days, criminal got arrested. They found criminal has 6 criminal records . His mother's words about his own son's death is: On the night of the incident, a call came to meet in the morning. When the police said, 'Your son was involved in a stabbing incident, he was seriously injured and was taken into surgery, you need to come here,' the explosion started crying. We set out towards Balıkesir. It was a strange night, rainy and foggy. While on the road, he called the nearby hospital, but they were told, "There is no patient named Ata Emre Akman." Because it doesn't exist anymore. We arrived in Balıkesir at a speed of 150-180 kilometers. We walked out of the ER only 5 minutes later and they were pulling our son from the second shelf. Then they took the stretcher down and gathered up the blanket. It was said that it was Ata, but it was not Ata. It can't be Ata because their time was short. I didn't know that he had grown his hair long; He was going to surprise me on Mother's Day. I saved it and looked at it. After the autopsy, I saw the whole scar, everything. Then I asked the corporate 'will that stretcher lift me?' I asked and went to bed next to Ata, we were working for a while. Because we would never have the chance to hug and sleep again. I saw that its leaves were bloodied. After a while, I had to leave Ata. Then he came and the officer there said to someone, 'Give your hand so we can lift it up'. I said, 'I am a mother, I clean my child.' I removed it, it's the birds. Anyway, Ata didn't look like Ata. Does a person change suddenly?

I think Mirage should have remained a DLC rather than a standalone game. Not because of the price, length, or content, but due to player perception – Mirage would have had a much easier time in the public opinion if it had been just an add-on. Now, the game is being criticized for the following reasons:

• It's too short
• Movement is too slow
• The game is similar to Valhalla
• It's not the return to the Assassin's roots that we were waiting for
• The parkour is bad

Look, if it had been a DLC, no one would be complaining, because it would be just an addition to an already existing title, and as such, it might have received praise for the new city, character story, and mechanics. It would have been seen as a lot of content for a DLC and definitely would have been better received compared to Ragnarok. Although, compared to Ragnarok, everything looks better, even my own crap. But don't you think that if it had been a DLC, for the same or even a lower price, it would have been praised and subjected to less harsh criticism? For God's sake, it didn't even come out in a physical box for PC! Even considering the economic context, where a standalone game might be more profitable for the company, releasing it as a DLC could have improved Ubisoft's PR, positively affecting the reception of future sequels and potential revenue.

TLDR; long story short, I'm not allowed to talk to her about him. I love him so much and it's been hard times between us, he has made real efforts to renew the trust between us recently. I opened up about still feeling mentally stuck, unsure about how to move past problems mentally. He's doing a good job and I keep getting flashbacks to all the micro-cheating discovered over the past year.
I have serious insecurities and self-esteem issues now, and get incredibly anxious even when exposed to day-to-day triggers.
I opened up to her (it had been months since I last talked about him), I said she didn't even need to open the message or reply, because I felt better just being able to talk to someone about it out loud.
She replied with a HUGE paragraph saying I can't talk about him anymore, says she only wants to give advice if I take it (she generally doesn't give positive advice, she mostly just shits on his character :/ ). Called the relationship toxic (despite his recent amazing efforts), called me crazy, took my self-awareness as "complaining over and over again" and said she would "support" me so long as I don't talk about him. I apologised for opening up but have not forgotten what she said for days. I feel I can't talk to anybody else about this in my life, and find it difficult to open up to begin with. I honestly have not brought up that much to her!
Any advice from people who learned how to forgive and improve self-confidence mindset after partner micro-cheating? Or what to do when you're strictly not allowed to discuss your partner to your closest friend anymore?
I want to respect her boundaries of course, but this makes me so sad because he is very important to me, it hurts to not be able to talk about him and our improvements or struggles. Plus I barely told her the tip of the iceberg and feel very unsupported by her.
————— P.S, I have a detailed explanation of this, if you'd like to know more I'm happy to comment. It's a very complicated.

Hi guys,
So long story short - I am in the final process of the job recruitment process for a really exciting opportunity in the US. They know I need H-1B sponsorship and, as a cap-exempt employer, they can begin the process pretty much whenever. Great.
However - this opportunity was a complete surprise. 6 months ago I moved into a new apartment with a 12 month lease, took out credit to buy furniture etc. etc. and so I have an interest-free credit card balance of around £10k. I also have a repayable sign on bonus at my job of £4k which I will almost certainly need to pay back.
This might sound crazy, but I ran the maths and I realised I could pay it all off within one year on my salary if I stayed in the UK. I have been doing that, though instead of paying it off directly I have been putting money into a savings account just because I figured since the CC debt was interest free... I may as well make some money on my money instead of paying it down right?
In any event, I'm on target to have it cleared down by the end of the year. Great. But... this is a curveball and I'm not sure how to manage the situation.
If I get the job, I'd be on around $70k per year, which turns out to be $4.6k net having used the take home pay calculators. This is quite a bit more than what I am on in the UK, but I know the cost of living in the US is quite a bit higher.
I'd plan to pretty much sell everything I own in the UK and would expect to get around £5-7k based on this. This, plus my savings would give me around £10k to play with.
Overall, I expect I'd move within 5 months so I would really like to start planning now and put a financial plan together. My current thoughts are thus:

• Negotiate relocation expenses with my prospective employer should I get the position.
  
• Pay down around half of the interest free CC balance - i.e. £5k.
  
• Obviously pay back the bonus clawback - £4k (Will likely be around £2.6k as the bonus was paid Gross)
  
• This leaves net savings of £500 - £1k. Somehow I'd have to support myself for 2 weeks on this in the US before my first pay packet.
  

Overall I am stumped if this is a good plan or not. Alternatively, I could just carry on paying the minimum debt payment in the UK until the interest free period expires, but this doesn't sound like a good idea.
Ugh... I am so excited about this opportunity. I really wish I saw it coming 6 months ago!! I would have made such different decisions. But... hindsight is always 20/20.
If anyone has had a similar situation I'd love to hear your advice. Thank you <3

I (25M) have finally accepted that I won't get to experience having a romantic relationship in my life. I'm fairly ugly, probs a -40/10 by my estimate; I look like Leto II from god emperor of dune. In addition to this I have autism and work a low wage job. I just don't see why a woman would go for me when there are far more superior options out there, and even normal guys are struggling these days. At the end of the day though it's not that bad. Tbh I'm lucky where I live in a country with good access to healthcare and a bunch of other stuff.
Not to mention I've found ways to distract myself. I plan on visiting brothels, and I'm working on writing a space opera, and one of my short stories was published in a magazine recently. I've thrown myself into writing fiction, in particular sci-fi, horror, and fantasy. It requires a lot of focus and study. As for sex, well brothels and sex work is legal in my country, and It's not like I'm gonna get a GF anyways. Not everyone gets to experience everything in life. As long as we don't end up living in I have no mouth and I must scream I'll probably be content. For emotional connection, I'm lucky that I have a small group of bros who are also losers like me that emotionally support each other. I've got family as well.
For those coming to the same spot I advise to find a hobby to throw yourself in, and to only be friends with those in the same spot as you who also probably won't escape the situation.

Long story, kinda short:
I ended up in Old World Blues at a very, very low level and got through what I thought was "Easy" until I couldn't progress any further without getting mutilated. I turned on TGM, finished and exited back into the Mojave.
Forgot TGM was on and ran through a pack of Death Claws. Game auto saved, then crashed (For the 1,000th time). Reloaded and TGM is off on default... mauled. Mauled again, and again, and again.. Make it stop
https://reddit.com/link/1cvlapn/video/raim7g922d1d1/player

We used to be kids. 6 to be precise. I remember your round face back then, pretty cute!! my head would recall at times. I stopped visiting your place as I grew up. Time passed. I heard about you once from one of my relatives; she talked about you crying like a baby when your team lost. I then for some time searched for your socials, you were nowhere. Nowhere to be found, only in my memory, distant but clear. I just wanted to tell you I wore your t shirt and shorts going back home from your place. It was a chilly evening on my mini skirt. I never returned your t shirt and shorts. Now we are 20. Now that fate has made me run into you again after I found out that the stranger I was talking to in some random pages was actually you. I fell for you back then. Now as well and you clearly know it but as you say so, I'll stay like I was. I'll be strong enough to not make any mess by asking for the love I seek at times. I know you feel for me and you care. That is enough for me. Thank you for proving that all men are not same. Really thank you! Thank you for listening to me now and then and I promise I won't ruin this friendship just for something selfish; a life together. I'm glad you're back. I'm glad I found you and we found each other. I'll take care of you until fate decides to keep us together.

I had to stop nursing my 16 mo toddler quite suddenly as she started biting hard while feeding. I got some pretty nasty wounds which then got infected. The pain while nursing or pumping was unbearable. This in itself was very stressful for me because I never wanted our breastfeeding journey to end so abruptly.
However, she took it quite easy. Only problem was she fell asleep almost exclusively while on the breast. To get her to fall asleep at night I now need about an hour where we read books together, she tosses around the bed and plays around until she finally goes down.
Naps are another story. It’s very difficult to get her to settle and I’m not sure what to do. Has anyone been through something similar? Particularly having to stop nursing suddenly and how this impacted sleep… any help is much appreciated, thank you

First want to say this sub has really helped me get through this and I appreciate reading everyone’s stories. A true community!
On May 12 I found out I was pregnant after being 3 days late. It was the first time this has ever happened to me, I’m 29 and honestly thought I couldn’t conceive. I used Flo to track my regular periods and I was no where near my ovulation dates but anyway here we are.
I opted for a MA as I wanted things to be done as soon as possible. I was 5 weeks and 6 days by the time I took my first Mifepristone pill. I took it at 12:30 on Friday afternoon and had absolutely no symptoms from it. I had a pretty big breakfast beforehand which might have helped.
Now - day 2 - I was very frightful of. I generally get terrible period cramps every month, typically on the floor vomiting and diarrhoea with intense pain so I was so nervous about proceeding with the misoprotol. What typically helps my period cramps is watching what I eat the day before I get my period so I was very keen to try and do this before taking my 4 doses. All of the rest of Friday I ate very plain beige food - toast, banana, eggs, chicken. Nothing with spice, no artificial sugars (this I find is major for me in terms of making things painful) and no greasy/fried food. On the day of the misoprotol I started off by eating a slice of bread and a banana (I find the potassium in the banana helpful for period pain). I then proceeded to take 800mg of ibuprofen at 12:00, 500mg of paracetamol at 12:25 and then the 4 misoprotols vaginally at 12:30.
I went straight to my couch with a maxi pad and heating pad and laid down to not let anything fall out. The nerves were really high at this point worried I would feel the type of pain I sometimes get during a bad time of the month.
At 1:30 I began to feel some slight cramping but nothing more than a 2/10. At 15:00 I had my first bit of blood. It poured out quite rushed but nothing too painful.
From here anytime I went the bathroom I would have probably a cup of blood pour out of me. It didn’t feel like a period at all but really just juice coming out (sorry for the tmi). I am usually a light flow so the amount of blood was very shocking.
At 16:56 I experienced what felt like the worst of the cramps. I would rate it at most a 6/10 and it was only for 5 minutes and I would say I’ve had way worse periods than this. Heck, the period before I got pregnant had me on the ground in agony crying so this really felt like a walk in the park. I think this was the moment things really passed as after this my cramps went right to a 2/10 in pain. The relief was shocking and nice.
For the rest of the night I just ate minimal (toast and some grapes as I started to feel a bit peckish). I stayed away from coffee though I was tired, anything with caffeine can trigger my cramps worse. I took 400mg more of ibuprofen at 20:30 then went to bed at 01:30. Slept fine and woke up with my pad not nearly full.
Like I said, I’ve had periods worse than this and it was very surprising to me but today I still feel like I’m going through the works. It did honestly feel like a period and I do feel like it worked. I’m relieved and happy to feel more like myself and I hope this eases anyone’s mind before they have their MA journey. All I would say is I do think eating a plain diet before and during helped me not feel sick and make the cramps worse, so give it a try!
Hopefully I won’t ever have to come back on this sub but I appreciate all of those who have given their experience! Best of luck to everyone going through this - you can do it!