Reply to a job invitation after interview sample
Prepare For The Part
2012.06.13 19:18 Apostolate Prepare For The Part
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2024.05.19 20:12 Finbarr_Galedeep Here is a list of all the messages I've (30M) received after every first date I've been on in recent weeks and months:
- Hi [Name], I’ve been thinking since we met up the other day. I had a lovely time with you but I just don’t think the chemistry is there. I’m really sorry, thought you deserved honesty xx
- it was nice to meet you [Name], but I don’t think I really felt a connection. All the best with everything though!
- Thanks for coming all the way down to [place]! Not sure what you’re looking for on the apps - don’t know that there was a romantic connection there, but I enjoyed your company - and I’d like to hear more of your one liners!
- Hi [Name]! Thanks for meeting today it was nice talking to you. But I want to be honest I’m not feeling the connection, hope you understand. I wish you all the best
- Sorry for the late reply. I had a lovely time but I'm not sure we had that little extra something. Thanks for a lovely night :)
- Yea got home all safe. Thanks for the chats last night. I'll be frank, you seem like a nice and even keel kind of person but I didn't really feel there was that connection there that I'm looking for.
- Hey [Name], thanks for our cute date yesterday! I didn't quite feel the type of connection I'm looking for, but thanks again for an enjoyable chat and stroll and I hope you have a great week ahead.
EDIT: Note that this doesn't include the many others who simply ghosted after the first date, even after ones which I felt went well
2024.05.19 20:07 Still_Second_703 How to stop being obsessed with my (23F) friend (23F)
Background: I (23F) am an active participant in a music fandom/subculture. I won’t say which, but I am sure if anyone is familiar you can probably figure it out. I have particularly been a fan of a certain artist within said fandom for about 5 years. A couple years ago, said artist did a special performance I desperately wanted to go to, and I purchased tickets, however it being across the country from me and having no support from family or local friends to go with me at the time, I opted not to travel alone and spend thousands of dollars I didn’t have doing so. I sold my tickets and was devastated, and since then I still have been unable to see them for reasons out of my control.
Around this time, I was scrolling social media and came across videos of a girl who went to the performance and blogged her experience. She was beautiful, the same age as me, in college, and to my surprise lived in the same metro area as I did and flew out of the airport I would have. Difference was, her mother, sister and friends all went with her. I remember watching her vlog and feeling sick to my stomach, as if I was looking at what my life could be like if it was just a little different. If my family was a little wealthier. If they cared and shared my interests or at least supported me. I followed her on social media around this time, and we interacted a few times but she unfollowed me at some point not long after so I unfollowed sometime later and forgot all about her account for maybe a year or so.
As if on cue, about two years ago, I start to get into another artist. I start to look at social media for people who like both artists as I was uncovering a small niche in a larger community of these two artists individually. Lo and behold, I find her account. She too is now a fan of both artists, and we instantly became a mutual follow, and of course, she has already met the band and people in their circle at events I can never even think about affording and seen them perform up close. I try to imagine she might be jealous of me too for attending their last tour when she wasn’t a fan yet, but I know this is a ridiculous comparison when she eats sleeps and breathes them. She even invited me to join her group for a special performance our new artist did, but being in my financial situation and knowing I hadn’t met her yet I decided to decline, much to my regret.
We started to become a bit closer and talk in direct messages as we realized how much we had in common, weird coincidences too. Of course, she’s just as perfect as I thought she was all those years ago. She has an amazing job in my dream creative field, fully remote and always posts photos and videos from her beautiful and tidy bedroom/office space (I’m unemployed after being fired this year, and mine is chronically unorganized and filled with junk.) I don’t know how much money she makes but she also has another part time creative job on the side somewhat related to our fandom where she gets all sorts of cool opportunities. Whenever I talk to her I feel like I’m looking at a reflection of what I could have been if I did things differently or my life was better. I scroll her accounts for hours trying to piece together bits of her life I wouldn’t know otherwise and figure out what makes her the way she is. As we’ve gotten closer I fear it less, but for a while I would compulsively check her accounts to see if she unfollowed me like she did before and was hyper aware of what I posted in fear that she would see something she didn’t like. Ultimately, I want this to be a normal friendship and stop obsessing over her like this.
TL;DR obsessed with my online friend because she’s perfect and know I need help.
submitted by Still_Second_703 to Advice [link] [comments]
Around this time, I was scrolling social media and came across videos of a girl who went to the performance and blogged her experience. She was beautiful, the same age as me, in college, and to my surprise lived in the same metro area as I did and flew out of the airport I would have. Difference was, her mother, sister and friends all went with her. I remember watching her vlog and feeling sick to my stomach, as if I was looking at what my life could be like if it was just a little different. If my family was a little wealthier. If they cared and shared my interests or at least supported me. I followed her on social media around this time, and we interacted a few times but she unfollowed me at some point not long after so I unfollowed sometime later and forgot all about her account for maybe a year or so.
As if on cue, about two years ago, I start to get into another artist. I start to look at social media for people who like both artists as I was uncovering a small niche in a larger community of these two artists individually. Lo and behold, I find her account. She too is now a fan of both artists, and we instantly became a mutual follow, and of course, she has already met the band and people in their circle at events I can never even think about affording and seen them perform up close. I try to imagine she might be jealous of me too for attending their last tour when she wasn’t a fan yet, but I know this is a ridiculous comparison when she eats sleeps and breathes them. She even invited me to join her group for a special performance our new artist did, but being in my financial situation and knowing I hadn’t met her yet I decided to decline, much to my regret.
We started to become a bit closer and talk in direct messages as we realized how much we had in common, weird coincidences too. Of course, she’s just as perfect as I thought she was all those years ago. She has an amazing job in my dream creative field, fully remote and always posts photos and videos from her beautiful and tidy bedroom/office space (I’m unemployed after being fired this year, and mine is chronically unorganized and filled with junk.) I don’t know how much money she makes but she also has another part time creative job on the side somewhat related to our fandom where she gets all sorts of cool opportunities. Whenever I talk to her I feel like I’m looking at a reflection of what I could have been if I did things differently or my life was better. I scroll her accounts for hours trying to piece together bits of her life I wouldn’t know otherwise and figure out what makes her the way she is. As we’ve gotten closer I fear it less, but for a while I would compulsively check her accounts to see if she unfollowed me like she did before and was hyper aware of what I posted in fear that she would see something she didn’t like. Ultimately, I want this to be a normal friendship and stop obsessing over her like this.
TL;DR obsessed with my online friend because she’s perfect and know I need help.
2024.05.19 20:06 Dramatic-Series6681 Am I asking for too much in my relationship?24F,30M
This will be a long one as I'm still incredible confused as to what I should do.
I'm (24F) 5 months into my first serious relationship with my partner (30M) and I've noticed a pattern that's really hurting my feelings and making me doubt my future plans with him. My boyfriend works as a Chef and are very rarely home earlier than 11pm each workday. I am well aware that working in a kitchen means having long days (I met him when I was a waitress) and I accept the amount of hours he have to put into it, I knew what I was walking into, when it comes to his Job, he also knows that, as we have talked about it (hes getting a promotion in fall so then i will see him even less and theres a high probability i will have to move across the country or to a different country next summer for my education). I also knew that my boyfriend have a long time friend which I would have to accept like a package deal if I wanted a relationship with him, I just had no idea it would be as extreme as it is. His friend (lets call him Joe 28M) is the type of person that takes rejections personal, has barely any situational awareness and doesn't understand the need for privacy in a relationship. He's used to being in a relationship himself, however as I'm my boyfriends first partner in 11years, Joe have never seen my boyfriend in a relationship before and are used to being prioritized after work. Joe and his girlfriend broke up 4 months ago, and he have moved into the city where both my boyfriend and I live separately. He now lives 7min walking distance from my boyfriend, so there's plenty of opportunities for them to see each other when I'm not around. Now we get to the part that's bothering me. A month ago I was at my boyfriends place for a week, every single day he got home from work at around 10:30-11:30pm, he gave me a quick hug and kisses and then asked if it was okay if he went down to Joe's. In the beginning it didn't bother me as I believe friendships are still important even if you're dating someone so I said it was okay. Where I messed up was when he asked me the third day in a row and I let him go even when I could feel it hurt me, I was just so scared to be seen as the villian as I wish Joe will see me as a good partner for my boyfriend. During the forth day my period is hitting me hard and my hormones and cravings are all over the place. I ask him if he could bring some snacks home and he is kind enough to do it. I greet him at the door like usual, more excited as my cravings can be fulfilled and because I was looking forward to spend time with him. He then asks if it's okay if he goes out drinking with Joe and a friend. He literally watches my excitement disappear and tears welling up as he waits for an answer (he comments on it). He mentions that when he got the message from Joe that he knew I would be disappointed (I still don't understand why he didn't just decline the invitation and stay home if he knew that) because there was a third party involved this time, I again couldn't make myself say no to him even though my heart was hurting. Through all these days not once was he home before 3am, the last day he was home at 4:45am. The fifth day (his off day and mine) was reserved for me and had been for 2 weeks. I went to school at 9am to practice for my exam and were there for way longer than usual because I was hurt and trying to control my emotions before returning to him. I also secretly wished that he would wake up and ask where I was, but that didn't happen as he was still asleep when I returned at 2pm. He woke up and asked me if I was mad, I sad no but that I was irritated and hurt. We tried to talk it out but he got defensive even though I admitted I messed up by not saying no when he asked. I asked if i should just leave and decided to go home after asking multiple times with no productive response from him, I felt we needed time apart to cool down and think things through. I contacted him in the afternoon to apologize for my reaction to the situation however I also said that I wouldn't apologize for my words as I meant what I said to him. I first got a text from him 4 days later, after I had contacted him again the day before to find a day we could talk things through and fix things. The day after his text we talk and promises each other that I will do my utmost best to say no when I can feel I need to, and he will priorities spending time with me when I'm at his apartment.
Fast forward to this week, it happened again. I'm the type to always ask permission to sleep over as it's not my home, my boyfriend said there was no need to as he always expects me to sleepover. Friday the 10th we were out shopping when his mom calls (so we could finally meet each other) and they start planning after his schedule without even considering if I have other plans, luckily enough they chose Monday instead of Friday the 17th. The day after the shopping trip Joe was hospitalized for appendicitis and needed a ride home and wasn't allowed to be alone for the first 24 hours. He also needed his medicine through a needle for 7 days which he needed someone else to do to him as he couldnt make himself, that's fair enough.. My boyfriend had to sleep at Joe's and that was the right thing to do as it was an emergency, I also expected him to sleep over the second day as I take no chances when it comes to people's health. Third day My boyfriend and I are meeting his mom so Joe have to find another to poke him, he found someone with experience to do it. Tuesday he contacts me to give him his medicine as my boyfriend is working and he doesn't trust the two friends at his apartment to do it. Alright I go and do it, we end up talking about my boyfriend and i mention that i want a a little alone time with the man i love...his response "We can do things together, thats what we did when I was in a relationship" apparently he didnt understand me and i didnt want to start an argument when his 2 friends was still there...my boyfriend joins us later and we go home at around 1am. Wednesday my Boyfriend goes to give the medicine after work, that's okay but he is first home at 3am. Thursday I join them as I'm tired of not having time with my boyfriend. Joe gets the medicine and suddenly have this idea that he and my boyfriend needs to drive out of city to visit a friend and deliver some things in the middle of the night and it can't wait (Joe aren't allowed to drive when his medicated). When we get to the car I ask if it's something that will take a long time as I'm contemplating joining them or going to my boyfriends place, Boyfriend says it's probably best I just go home to his. Again he's first home around 3am as both he and Joe fell asleep at Joe's.... Friday the 17th, Boyfriend finally has a day off and so do I, we have plans to have dinner with my mom in the evening which he agreed to 3 days prior. There's no food in the fridge so he goes grocery shopping, when he comes back Joe is with him, I didn't even get a warning so I could decide if I wanted to be there or not, I get that it's his apartment however I find it disrespectful that I don't even get a text or something. Boyfriend makes the food and while we eat he suddenly invites Joe to a concert where chill and romantic music gets played, which he also invited me to months prior, like a date...Joe suddenly asks when we think we will be home from my mom's (mind you I have told my boyfriend two times both this day and Thursday, that Joe needs to find another to poke him that day) I answer and say I don't know the earliest will probably be 10pm. My boyfriend answers and says " Oh no problem! If it's 10pm we have plenty of time to get home so I can do it, you make it sound like we will be there late."....like..I don't...seriously?! I feel like he doesn't want to priorities our relationship. When we're done eating I do the dishes as he made the food and they just leave, I finish up and go to a friend's as I am incredible hurt and needs someone to listen to as I'm again in the midst of my period and don't know if I'm being irrational or if I need to be concerned. I told my boyfriend that we leave at 5pm at the latest, he calls me at 4:15 to hear where I am, I tell him and he says that he expected me to be home when he got there. I of course seem off when I get to his place and he asks me if we need to talk. I simply reply that it's not a conversation we should take today. Whole car ride is silent, when we get to my mom's, everything seems fine and we are acting lovingly towards each other as we don't wan't to worry my family. At 11:20pm on the way home he asks if I wanna talk about it now, I again decline and tells him that it's not a conversation I wanna have while I'm on my period as my hormones are all over the place, I'm sensitive and take things personal and that -in my opinion- doesn't make a good fundamental platform to have a productive conversation. He continuesly asks and I give him the same answer again and again even telling him that I need time to think things through as I want to make sure I'm not being irrational. I pack my bags when we get to his (I'm visiting my dad so I need the stuff) and he drives me home. When we're in front of my door he gives me a lecture about how communication is important and if I won't tell him what's bothering me our relationship won't last, he even said that he thinks my friends have said something to make me like this, I told him I needed to see them and he said "thats okay, I'm with Joe"...I know that's the problem, we never just have time for ourselves....I was SO close to giving him a passive aggressive answer however I also know that won't help the situation.
The fact that both Joe and my boyfriend are together every day for hours on end when they are well aware that I'm home alone in my boyfriend's apartment, I find incredible disrespectful towards me and my free time. If I wanted to be alone I would be in my own apartment, I told him that when when we had or first argument a month ago. I feel like I'm being taken for granted, the fact that he just expects me to be at his place whenever he decides to be there, or makes plans without consulting me - especially if I'm involved in the plans- are disrespectful and unkind. He often tells me that he loves me and I'm sure he does...just not the way I need him to. I need quality time just him and I, no friends, no family just us for my love tank to be refilled..I've had none of that during this week I even told him that I needed more love and attention because of my period and its like he didn't listen and take it seriously. Yes he takes me out to dinner and makes homemade food, I appreciate it and to help him out I sometimes cleans his apartment and does the laundry as he barely have any off days to do it. However I find it hard to appreciate when we're eating out as Joe is often thirdwheeling...I've even asked my boyfriend what I need to do to make him feel appreciated and loved as I've told him my love language but I don't know his, I didn't really get an answer.. All the frustrations about this week I will talk to him about this Tuesday, if he can't be with me physically for a week I need him to at least write me each 48 hours as I'm tired of always being the one initiating conversations. I of course will also set boundaries and tell him how much quality time I need to feel loved and safe. If this is how things are gonna go every time I'm at his for a week or more, I don't feel comfortable by the thought of moving in together, we've talked about marriage and kids for the future but if these weeks are any indication for how it will be like living with him, it won't happen...I love him, I truly do and thats why this situation hurt me so much, thats why i try so hard to make him feel loved and to fix things...but I also have too much self respect to accept this behavior from him and his friend. If he don't want to priorities our relationship after his Job, we won't have a healthy relationship where both parties are happy. We both have traumas from past relationships and parents, which of course doesn't make things easier, however in my opinion it is no excuse to neglect each other's needs.
I'm sorry for the rambling, and I appreciate if you've read this far. I could use an outside perspective on our situation as friends and family often times have a biased opinion.
Thanks for reading
TLDR I feel underappriciated in my relationship and wonder if I'm asking for too much from him
submitted by Dramatic-Series6681 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
I'm (24F) 5 months into my first serious relationship with my partner (30M) and I've noticed a pattern that's really hurting my feelings and making me doubt my future plans with him. My boyfriend works as a Chef and are very rarely home earlier than 11pm each workday. I am well aware that working in a kitchen means having long days (I met him when I was a waitress) and I accept the amount of hours he have to put into it, I knew what I was walking into, when it comes to his Job, he also knows that, as we have talked about it (hes getting a promotion in fall so then i will see him even less and theres a high probability i will have to move across the country or to a different country next summer for my education). I also knew that my boyfriend have a long time friend which I would have to accept like a package deal if I wanted a relationship with him, I just had no idea it would be as extreme as it is. His friend (lets call him Joe 28M) is the type of person that takes rejections personal, has barely any situational awareness and doesn't understand the need for privacy in a relationship. He's used to being in a relationship himself, however as I'm my boyfriends first partner in 11years, Joe have never seen my boyfriend in a relationship before and are used to being prioritized after work. Joe and his girlfriend broke up 4 months ago, and he have moved into the city where both my boyfriend and I live separately. He now lives 7min walking distance from my boyfriend, so there's plenty of opportunities for them to see each other when I'm not around. Now we get to the part that's bothering me. A month ago I was at my boyfriends place for a week, every single day he got home from work at around 10:30-11:30pm, he gave me a quick hug and kisses and then asked if it was okay if he went down to Joe's. In the beginning it didn't bother me as I believe friendships are still important even if you're dating someone so I said it was okay. Where I messed up was when he asked me the third day in a row and I let him go even when I could feel it hurt me, I was just so scared to be seen as the villian as I wish Joe will see me as a good partner for my boyfriend. During the forth day my period is hitting me hard and my hormones and cravings are all over the place. I ask him if he could bring some snacks home and he is kind enough to do it. I greet him at the door like usual, more excited as my cravings can be fulfilled and because I was looking forward to spend time with him. He then asks if it's okay if he goes out drinking with Joe and a friend. He literally watches my excitement disappear and tears welling up as he waits for an answer (he comments on it). He mentions that when he got the message from Joe that he knew I would be disappointed (I still don't understand why he didn't just decline the invitation and stay home if he knew that) because there was a third party involved this time, I again couldn't make myself say no to him even though my heart was hurting. Through all these days not once was he home before 3am, the last day he was home at 4:45am. The fifth day (his off day and mine) was reserved for me and had been for 2 weeks. I went to school at 9am to practice for my exam and were there for way longer than usual because I was hurt and trying to control my emotions before returning to him. I also secretly wished that he would wake up and ask where I was, but that didn't happen as he was still asleep when I returned at 2pm. He woke up and asked me if I was mad, I sad no but that I was irritated and hurt. We tried to talk it out but he got defensive even though I admitted I messed up by not saying no when he asked. I asked if i should just leave and decided to go home after asking multiple times with no productive response from him, I felt we needed time apart to cool down and think things through. I contacted him in the afternoon to apologize for my reaction to the situation however I also said that I wouldn't apologize for my words as I meant what I said to him. I first got a text from him 4 days later, after I had contacted him again the day before to find a day we could talk things through and fix things. The day after his text we talk and promises each other that I will do my utmost best to say no when I can feel I need to, and he will priorities spending time with me when I'm at his apartment.
Fast forward to this week, it happened again. I'm the type to always ask permission to sleep over as it's not my home, my boyfriend said there was no need to as he always expects me to sleepover. Friday the 10th we were out shopping when his mom calls (so we could finally meet each other) and they start planning after his schedule without even considering if I have other plans, luckily enough they chose Monday instead of Friday the 17th. The day after the shopping trip Joe was hospitalized for appendicitis and needed a ride home and wasn't allowed to be alone for the first 24 hours. He also needed his medicine through a needle for 7 days which he needed someone else to do to him as he couldnt make himself, that's fair enough.. My boyfriend had to sleep at Joe's and that was the right thing to do as it was an emergency, I also expected him to sleep over the second day as I take no chances when it comes to people's health. Third day My boyfriend and I are meeting his mom so Joe have to find another to poke him, he found someone with experience to do it. Tuesday he contacts me to give him his medicine as my boyfriend is working and he doesn't trust the two friends at his apartment to do it. Alright I go and do it, we end up talking about my boyfriend and i mention that i want a a little alone time with the man i love...his response "We can do things together, thats what we did when I was in a relationship" apparently he didnt understand me and i didnt want to start an argument when his 2 friends was still there...my boyfriend joins us later and we go home at around 1am. Wednesday my Boyfriend goes to give the medicine after work, that's okay but he is first home at 3am. Thursday I join them as I'm tired of not having time with my boyfriend. Joe gets the medicine and suddenly have this idea that he and my boyfriend needs to drive out of city to visit a friend and deliver some things in the middle of the night and it can't wait (Joe aren't allowed to drive when his medicated). When we get to the car I ask if it's something that will take a long time as I'm contemplating joining them or going to my boyfriends place, Boyfriend says it's probably best I just go home to his. Again he's first home around 3am as both he and Joe fell asleep at Joe's.... Friday the 17th, Boyfriend finally has a day off and so do I, we have plans to have dinner with my mom in the evening which he agreed to 3 days prior. There's no food in the fridge so he goes grocery shopping, when he comes back Joe is with him, I didn't even get a warning so I could decide if I wanted to be there or not, I get that it's his apartment however I find it disrespectful that I don't even get a text or something. Boyfriend makes the food and while we eat he suddenly invites Joe to a concert where chill and romantic music gets played, which he also invited me to months prior, like a date...Joe suddenly asks when we think we will be home from my mom's (mind you I have told my boyfriend two times both this day and Thursday, that Joe needs to find another to poke him that day) I answer and say I don't know the earliest will probably be 10pm. My boyfriend answers and says " Oh no problem! If it's 10pm we have plenty of time to get home so I can do it, you make it sound like we will be there late."....like..I don't...seriously?! I feel like he doesn't want to priorities our relationship. When we're done eating I do the dishes as he made the food and they just leave, I finish up and go to a friend's as I am incredible hurt and needs someone to listen to as I'm again in the midst of my period and don't know if I'm being irrational or if I need to be concerned. I told my boyfriend that we leave at 5pm at the latest, he calls me at 4:15 to hear where I am, I tell him and he says that he expected me to be home when he got there. I of course seem off when I get to his place and he asks me if we need to talk. I simply reply that it's not a conversation we should take today. Whole car ride is silent, when we get to my mom's, everything seems fine and we are acting lovingly towards each other as we don't wan't to worry my family. At 11:20pm on the way home he asks if I wanna talk about it now, I again decline and tells him that it's not a conversation I wanna have while I'm on my period as my hormones are all over the place, I'm sensitive and take things personal and that -in my opinion- doesn't make a good fundamental platform to have a productive conversation. He continuesly asks and I give him the same answer again and again even telling him that I need time to think things through as I want to make sure I'm not being irrational. I pack my bags when we get to his (I'm visiting my dad so I need the stuff) and he drives me home. When we're in front of my door he gives me a lecture about how communication is important and if I won't tell him what's bothering me our relationship won't last, he even said that he thinks my friends have said something to make me like this, I told him I needed to see them and he said "thats okay, I'm with Joe"...I know that's the problem, we never just have time for ourselves....I was SO close to giving him a passive aggressive answer however I also know that won't help the situation.
The fact that both Joe and my boyfriend are together every day for hours on end when they are well aware that I'm home alone in my boyfriend's apartment, I find incredible disrespectful towards me and my free time. If I wanted to be alone I would be in my own apartment, I told him that when when we had or first argument a month ago. I feel like I'm being taken for granted, the fact that he just expects me to be at his place whenever he decides to be there, or makes plans without consulting me - especially if I'm involved in the plans- are disrespectful and unkind. He often tells me that he loves me and I'm sure he does...just not the way I need him to. I need quality time just him and I, no friends, no family just us for my love tank to be refilled..I've had none of that during this week I even told him that I needed more love and attention because of my period and its like he didn't listen and take it seriously. Yes he takes me out to dinner and makes homemade food, I appreciate it and to help him out I sometimes cleans his apartment and does the laundry as he barely have any off days to do it. However I find it hard to appreciate when we're eating out as Joe is often thirdwheeling...I've even asked my boyfriend what I need to do to make him feel appreciated and loved as I've told him my love language but I don't know his, I didn't really get an answer.. All the frustrations about this week I will talk to him about this Tuesday, if he can't be with me physically for a week I need him to at least write me each 48 hours as I'm tired of always being the one initiating conversations. I of course will also set boundaries and tell him how much quality time I need to feel loved and safe. If this is how things are gonna go every time I'm at his for a week or more, I don't feel comfortable by the thought of moving in together, we've talked about marriage and kids for the future but if these weeks are any indication for how it will be like living with him, it won't happen...I love him, I truly do and thats why this situation hurt me so much, thats why i try so hard to make him feel loved and to fix things...but I also have too much self respect to accept this behavior from him and his friend. If he don't want to priorities our relationship after his Job, we won't have a healthy relationship where both parties are happy. We both have traumas from past relationships and parents, which of course doesn't make things easier, however in my opinion it is no excuse to neglect each other's needs.
I'm sorry for the rambling, and I appreciate if you've read this far. I could use an outside perspective on our situation as friends and family often times have a biased opinion.
Thanks for reading
TLDR I feel underappriciated in my relationship and wonder if I'm asking for too much from him
2024.05.19 20:03 Dramatic-Series6681 Am i asking for too much in my relationship?
This will be a long one as I'm still incredible confused as to what I should do.
I'm (24F) 5 months into my first serious relationship with my partner (30M) and I've noticed a pattern that's really hurting my feelings and making me doubt my future plans with him. My boyfriend works as a Chef and are very rarely home earlier than 11pm each workday. I am well aware that working in a kitchen means having long days (I met him when I was a waitress) and I accept the amount of hours he have to put into it, I knew what I was walking into, when it comes to his Job, he also knows that, as we have talked about it (hes getting a promotion in fall so then i will see him even less and theres a high probability i will have to move across the country or to a different country next summer for my education). I also knew that my boyfriend have a long time friend which I would have to accept like a package deal if I wanted a relationship with him, I just had no idea it would be as extreme as it is. His friend (lets call him Joe 28M) is the type of person that takes rejections personal, has barely any situational awareness and doesn't understand the need for privacy in a relationship. He's used to being in a relationship himself, however as I'm my boyfriends first partner in 11years, Joe have never seen my boyfriend in a relationship before and are used to being prioritized after work. Joe and his girlfriend broke up 4 months ago, and he have moved into the city where both my boyfriend and I live separately. He now lives 7min walking distance from my boyfriend, so there's plenty of opportunities for them to see each other when I'm not around. Now we get to the part that's bothering me. A month ago I was at my boyfriends place for a week, every single day he got home from work at around 10:30-11:30pm, he gave me a quick hug and kisses and then asked if it was okay if he went down to Joe's. In the beginning it didn't bother me as I believe friendships are still important even if you're dating someone so I said it was okay. Where I messed up was when he asked me the third day in a row and I let him go even when I could feel it hurt me, I was just so scared to be seen as the villian as I wish Joe will see me as a good partner for my boyfriend. During the forth day my period is hitting me hard and my hormones and cravings are all over the place. I ask him if he could bring some snacks home and he is kind enough to do it. I greet him at the door like usual, more excited as my cravings can be fulfilled and because I was looking forward to spend time with him. He then asks if it's okay if he goes out drinking with Joe and a friend. He literally watches my excitement disappear and tears welling up as he waits for an answer (he comments on it). He mentions that when he got the message from Joe that he knew I would be disappointed (I still don't understand why he didn't just decline the invitation and stay home if he knew that) because there was a third party involved this time, I again couldn't make myself say no to him even though my heart was hurting. Through all these days not once was he home before 3am, the last day he was home at 4:45am. The fifth day (his off day and mine) was reserved for me and had been for 2 weeks. I went to school at 9am to practice for my exam and were there for way longer than usual because I was hurt and trying to control my emotions before returning to him. I also secretly wished that he would wake up and ask where I was, but that didn't happen as he was still asleep when I returned at 2pm. He woke up and asked me if I was mad, I sad no but that I was irritated and hurt. We tried to talk it out but he got defensive even though I admitted I messed up by not saying no when he asked. I asked if i should just leave and decided to go home after asking multiple times with no productive response from him, I felt we needed time apart to cool down and think things through. I contacted him in the afternoon to apologize for my reaction to the situation however I also said that I wouldn't apologize for my words as I meant what I said to him. I first got a text from him 4 days later, after I had contacted him again the day before to find a day we could talk things through and fix things. The day after his text we talk and promises each other that I will do my utmost best to say no when I can feel I need to, and he will priorities spending time with me when I'm at his apartment.
Fast forward to this week, it happened again. I'm the type to always ask permission to sleep over as it's not my home, my boyfriend said there was no need to as he always expects me to sleepover. Friday the 10th we were out shopping when his mom calls (so we could finally meet each other) and they start planning after his schedule without even considering if I have other plans, luckily enough they chose Monday instead of Friday the 17th. The day after the shopping trip Joe was hospitalized for appendicitis and needed a ride home and wasn't allowed to be alone for the first 24 hours. He also needed his medicine through a needle for 7 days which he needed someone else to do to him as he couldnt make himself, that's fair enough.. My boyfriend had to sleep at Joe's and that was the right thing to do as it was an emergency, I also expected him to sleep over the second day as I take no chances when it comes to people's health. Third day My boyfriend and I are meeting his mom so Joe have to find another to poke him, he found someone with experience to do it. Tuesday he contacts me to give him his medicine as my boyfriend is working and he doesn't trust the two friends at his apartment to do it. Alright I go and do it, we end up talking about my boyfriend and i mention that i want a a little alone time with the man i love...his response "We can do things together, thats what we did when I was in a relationship" apparently he didnt understand me and i didnt want to start an argument when his 2 friends was still there...my boyfriend joins us later and we go home at around 1am. Wednesday my Boyfriend goes to give the medicine after work, that's okay but he is first home at 3am. Thursday I join them as I'm tired of not having time with my boyfriend. Joe gets the medicine and suddenly have this idea that he and my boyfriend needs to drive out of city to visit a friend and deliver some things in the middle of the night and it can't wait (Joe aren't allowed to drive when his medicated). When we get to the car I ask if it's something that will take a long time as I'm contemplating joining them or going to my boyfriends place, Boyfriend says it's probably best I just go home to his. Again he's first home around 3am as both he and Joe fell asleep at Joe's.... Friday the 17th, Boyfriend finally has a day off and so do I, we have plans to have dinner with my mom in the evening which he agreed to 3 days prior. There's no food in the fridge so he goes grocery shopping, when he comes back Joe is with him, I didn't even get a warning so I could decide if I wanted to be there or not, I get that it's his apartment however I find it disrespectful that I don't even get a text or something. Boyfriend makes the food and while we eat he suddenly invites Joe to a concert where chill and romantic music gets played, which he also invited me to months prior, like a date...Joe suddenly asks when we think we will be home from my mom's (mind you I have told my boyfriend two times both this day and Thursday, that Joe needs to find another to poke him that day) I answer and say I don't know the earliest will probably be 10pm. My boyfriend answers and says " Oh no problem! If it's 10pm we have plenty of time to get home so I can do it, you make it sound like we will be there late."....like..I don't...seriously?! I feel like he doesn't want to priorities our relationship. When we're done eating I do the dishes as he made the food and they just leave, I finish up and go to a friend's as I am incredible hurt and needs someone to listen to as I'm again in the midst of my period and don't know if I'm being irrational or if I need to be concerned. I told my boyfriend that we leave at 5pm at the latest, he calls me at 4:15 to hear where I am, I tell him and he says that he expected me to be home when he got there. I of course seem off when I get to his place and he asks me if we need to talk. I simply reply that it's not a conversation we should take today. Whole car ride is silent, when we get to my mom's, everything seems fine and we are acting lovingly towards each other as we don't wan't to worry my family. At 11:20pm on the way home he asks if I wanna talk about it now, I again decline and tells him that it's not a conversation I wanna have while I'm on my period as my hormones are all over the place, I'm sensitive and take things personal and that -in my opinion- doesn't make a good fundamental platform to have a productive conversation. He continuesly asks and I give him the same answer again and again even telling him that I need time to think things through as I want to make sure I'm not being irrational. I pack my bags when we get to his (I'm visiting my dad so I need the stuff) and he drives me home. When we're in front of my door he gives me a lecture about how communication is important and if I won't tell him what's bothering me our relationship won't last, he even said that he thinks my friends have said something to make me like this, I told him I needed to see them and he said "thats okay, I'm with Joe"...I know that's the problem, we never just have time for ourselves....I was SO close to giving him a passive aggressive answer however I also know that won't help the situation.
The fact that both Joe and my boyfriend are together every day for hours on end when they are well aware that I'm home alone in my boyfriend's apartment, I find incredible disrespectful towards me and my free time. If I wanted to be alone I would be in my own apartment, I told him that when when we had or first argument a month ago. I feel like I'm being taken for granted, the fact that he just expects me to be at his place whenever he decides to be there, or makes plans without consulting me - especially if I'm involved in the plans- are disrespectful and unkind. He often tells me that he loves me and I'm sure he does...just not the way I need him to. I need quality time just him and I, no friends, no family just us for my love tank to be refilled..I've had none of that during this week I even told him that I needed more love and attention because of my period and its like he didn't listen and take it seriously. Yes he takes me out to dinner and makes homemade food, I appreciate it and to help him out I sometimes cleans his apartment and does the laundry as he barely have any off days to do it. However I find it hard to appreciate when we're eating out as Joe is often thirdwheeling...I've even asked my boyfriend what I need to do to make him feel appreciated and loved as I've told him my love language but I don't know his, I didn't really get an answer.. All the frustrations about this week I will talk to him about this Tuesday, if he can't be with me physically for a week I need him to at least write me each 48 hours as I'm tired of always being the one initiating conversations. I of course will also set boundaries and tell him how much quality time I need to feel loved and safe. If this is how things are gonna go every time I'm at his for a week or more, I don't feel comfortable by the thought of moving in together, we've talked about marriage and kids for the future but if these weeks are any indication for how it will be like living with him, it won't happen...I love him, I truly do and thats why this situation hurt me so much, thats why i try so hard to make him feel loved and to fix things...but I also have too much self respect to accept this behavior from him and his friend. If he don't want to priorities our relationship after his Job, we won't have a healthy relationship where both parties are happy. We both have traumas from past relationships and parents, which of course doesn't make things easier, however in my opinion it is no excuse to neglect each other's needs.
I'm sorry for the rambling, and I appreciate if you've read this far. I could use an outside perspective on our situation as friends and family often times have a biased opinion.
Thanks for reading
TLDR I feel underappriciated in my relationship and wonder if I'm asking for too much
submitted by Dramatic-Series6681 to Advice [link] [comments]
I'm (24F) 5 months into my first serious relationship with my partner (30M) and I've noticed a pattern that's really hurting my feelings and making me doubt my future plans with him. My boyfriend works as a Chef and are very rarely home earlier than 11pm each workday. I am well aware that working in a kitchen means having long days (I met him when I was a waitress) and I accept the amount of hours he have to put into it, I knew what I was walking into, when it comes to his Job, he also knows that, as we have talked about it (hes getting a promotion in fall so then i will see him even less and theres a high probability i will have to move across the country or to a different country next summer for my education). I also knew that my boyfriend have a long time friend which I would have to accept like a package deal if I wanted a relationship with him, I just had no idea it would be as extreme as it is. His friend (lets call him Joe 28M) is the type of person that takes rejections personal, has barely any situational awareness and doesn't understand the need for privacy in a relationship. He's used to being in a relationship himself, however as I'm my boyfriends first partner in 11years, Joe have never seen my boyfriend in a relationship before and are used to being prioritized after work. Joe and his girlfriend broke up 4 months ago, and he have moved into the city where both my boyfriend and I live separately. He now lives 7min walking distance from my boyfriend, so there's plenty of opportunities for them to see each other when I'm not around. Now we get to the part that's bothering me. A month ago I was at my boyfriends place for a week, every single day he got home from work at around 10:30-11:30pm, he gave me a quick hug and kisses and then asked if it was okay if he went down to Joe's. In the beginning it didn't bother me as I believe friendships are still important even if you're dating someone so I said it was okay. Where I messed up was when he asked me the third day in a row and I let him go even when I could feel it hurt me, I was just so scared to be seen as the villian as I wish Joe will see me as a good partner for my boyfriend. During the forth day my period is hitting me hard and my hormones and cravings are all over the place. I ask him if he could bring some snacks home and he is kind enough to do it. I greet him at the door like usual, more excited as my cravings can be fulfilled and because I was looking forward to spend time with him. He then asks if it's okay if he goes out drinking with Joe and a friend. He literally watches my excitement disappear and tears welling up as he waits for an answer (he comments on it). He mentions that when he got the message from Joe that he knew I would be disappointed (I still don't understand why he didn't just decline the invitation and stay home if he knew that) because there was a third party involved this time, I again couldn't make myself say no to him even though my heart was hurting. Through all these days not once was he home before 3am, the last day he was home at 4:45am. The fifth day (his off day and mine) was reserved for me and had been for 2 weeks. I went to school at 9am to practice for my exam and were there for way longer than usual because I was hurt and trying to control my emotions before returning to him. I also secretly wished that he would wake up and ask where I was, but that didn't happen as he was still asleep when I returned at 2pm. He woke up and asked me if I was mad, I sad no but that I was irritated and hurt. We tried to talk it out but he got defensive even though I admitted I messed up by not saying no when he asked. I asked if i should just leave and decided to go home after asking multiple times with no productive response from him, I felt we needed time apart to cool down and think things through. I contacted him in the afternoon to apologize for my reaction to the situation however I also said that I wouldn't apologize for my words as I meant what I said to him. I first got a text from him 4 days later, after I had contacted him again the day before to find a day we could talk things through and fix things. The day after his text we talk and promises each other that I will do my utmost best to say no when I can feel I need to, and he will priorities spending time with me when I'm at his apartment.
Fast forward to this week, it happened again. I'm the type to always ask permission to sleep over as it's not my home, my boyfriend said there was no need to as he always expects me to sleepover. Friday the 10th we were out shopping when his mom calls (so we could finally meet each other) and they start planning after his schedule without even considering if I have other plans, luckily enough they chose Monday instead of Friday the 17th. The day after the shopping trip Joe was hospitalized for appendicitis and needed a ride home and wasn't allowed to be alone for the first 24 hours. He also needed his medicine through a needle for 7 days which he needed someone else to do to him as he couldnt make himself, that's fair enough.. My boyfriend had to sleep at Joe's and that was the right thing to do as it was an emergency, I also expected him to sleep over the second day as I take no chances when it comes to people's health. Third day My boyfriend and I are meeting his mom so Joe have to find another to poke him, he found someone with experience to do it. Tuesday he contacts me to give him his medicine as my boyfriend is working and he doesn't trust the two friends at his apartment to do it. Alright I go and do it, we end up talking about my boyfriend and i mention that i want a a little alone time with the man i love...his response "We can do things together, thats what we did when I was in a relationship" apparently he didnt understand me and i didnt want to start an argument when his 2 friends was still there...my boyfriend joins us later and we go home at around 1am. Wednesday my Boyfriend goes to give the medicine after work, that's okay but he is first home at 3am. Thursday I join them as I'm tired of not having time with my boyfriend. Joe gets the medicine and suddenly have this idea that he and my boyfriend needs to drive out of city to visit a friend and deliver some things in the middle of the night and it can't wait (Joe aren't allowed to drive when his medicated). When we get to the car I ask if it's something that will take a long time as I'm contemplating joining them or going to my boyfriends place, Boyfriend says it's probably best I just go home to his. Again he's first home around 3am as both he and Joe fell asleep at Joe's.... Friday the 17th, Boyfriend finally has a day off and so do I, we have plans to have dinner with my mom in the evening which he agreed to 3 days prior. There's no food in the fridge so he goes grocery shopping, when he comes back Joe is with him, I didn't even get a warning so I could decide if I wanted to be there or not, I get that it's his apartment however I find it disrespectful that I don't even get a text or something. Boyfriend makes the food and while we eat he suddenly invites Joe to a concert where chill and romantic music gets played, which he also invited me to months prior, like a date...Joe suddenly asks when we think we will be home from my mom's (mind you I have told my boyfriend two times both this day and Thursday, that Joe needs to find another to poke him that day) I answer and say I don't know the earliest will probably be 10pm. My boyfriend answers and says " Oh no problem! If it's 10pm we have plenty of time to get home so I can do it, you make it sound like we will be there late."....like..I don't...seriously?! I feel like he doesn't want to priorities our relationship. When we're done eating I do the dishes as he made the food and they just leave, I finish up and go to a friend's as I am incredible hurt and needs someone to listen to as I'm again in the midst of my period and don't know if I'm being irrational or if I need to be concerned. I told my boyfriend that we leave at 5pm at the latest, he calls me at 4:15 to hear where I am, I tell him and he says that he expected me to be home when he got there. I of course seem off when I get to his place and he asks me if we need to talk. I simply reply that it's not a conversation we should take today. Whole car ride is silent, when we get to my mom's, everything seems fine and we are acting lovingly towards each other as we don't wan't to worry my family. At 11:20pm on the way home he asks if I wanna talk about it now, I again decline and tells him that it's not a conversation I wanna have while I'm on my period as my hormones are all over the place, I'm sensitive and take things personal and that -in my opinion- doesn't make a good fundamental platform to have a productive conversation. He continuesly asks and I give him the same answer again and again even telling him that I need time to think things through as I want to make sure I'm not being irrational. I pack my bags when we get to his (I'm visiting my dad so I need the stuff) and he drives me home. When we're in front of my door he gives me a lecture about how communication is important and if I won't tell him what's bothering me our relationship won't last, he even said that he thinks my friends have said something to make me like this, I told him I needed to see them and he said "thats okay, I'm with Joe"...I know that's the problem, we never just have time for ourselves....I was SO close to giving him a passive aggressive answer however I also know that won't help the situation.
The fact that both Joe and my boyfriend are together every day for hours on end when they are well aware that I'm home alone in my boyfriend's apartment, I find incredible disrespectful towards me and my free time. If I wanted to be alone I would be in my own apartment, I told him that when when we had or first argument a month ago. I feel like I'm being taken for granted, the fact that he just expects me to be at his place whenever he decides to be there, or makes plans without consulting me - especially if I'm involved in the plans- are disrespectful and unkind. He often tells me that he loves me and I'm sure he does...just not the way I need him to. I need quality time just him and I, no friends, no family just us for my love tank to be refilled..I've had none of that during this week I even told him that I needed more love and attention because of my period and its like he didn't listen and take it seriously. Yes he takes me out to dinner and makes homemade food, I appreciate it and to help him out I sometimes cleans his apartment and does the laundry as he barely have any off days to do it. However I find it hard to appreciate when we're eating out as Joe is often thirdwheeling...I've even asked my boyfriend what I need to do to make him feel appreciated and loved as I've told him my love language but I don't know his, I didn't really get an answer.. All the frustrations about this week I will talk to him about this Tuesday, if he can't be with me physically for a week I need him to at least write me each 48 hours as I'm tired of always being the one initiating conversations. I of course will also set boundaries and tell him how much quality time I need to feel loved and safe. If this is how things are gonna go every time I'm at his for a week or more, I don't feel comfortable by the thought of moving in together, we've talked about marriage and kids for the future but if these weeks are any indication for how it will be like living with him, it won't happen...I love him, I truly do and thats why this situation hurt me so much, thats why i try so hard to make him feel loved and to fix things...but I also have too much self respect to accept this behavior from him and his friend. If he don't want to priorities our relationship after his Job, we won't have a healthy relationship where both parties are happy. We both have traumas from past relationships and parents, which of course doesn't make things easier, however in my opinion it is no excuse to neglect each other's needs.
I'm sorry for the rambling, and I appreciate if you've read this far. I could use an outside perspective on our situation as friends and family often times have a biased opinion.
Thanks for reading
TLDR I feel underappriciated in my relationship and wonder if I'm asking for too much
2024.05.19 20:00 AloofWriter [FN] Shadows in the Dark
Entros, the City of Darkness, was a place where shadows whispered secrets and danger lurked around every corner. The city’s labyrinthine streets and towering structures cast long, eerie shadows, perfect for those who thrived in the dark. It was here that Riven, a newly anointed dark mage, found himself after returning from Umbra. He bore the mark of a panther on his shoulder, symbolizing his bond with his shadowy familiar, Nyx.
Riven was an orphan, having lost his family to the Anti-Magic Knights years ago. The streets of Entros had been his home, teaching him the harsh lessons of survival. Now, with his new powers, he had become a target for those who sought to use him. One such group was the Thieves' Guild, a clandestine organization that thrived in Entros, exploiting the city’s perpetual darkness for their gains. Assassin guilds like the Thieves' Guild were only sanctioned by The Order, the infamous assassin guild known for its ruthless efficiency and moral ambiguity. The Order used these guilds to recruit the best assassins, expanding their influence and control across the land.
Riven stood at the edge of a rooftop, gazing down at the bustling market below. The sun had set, and the city was cloaked in darkness. Nyx prowled beside him, her eyes gleaming with an otherworldly light. He had been with the Thieves' Guild for months, learning to harness his powers under their tutelage. His ability to blend into shadows and move unseen had made him invaluable to the guild.
Yet, something gnawed at him. The more he delved into the world of thievery, the more he questioned his place in it. His thoughts were interrupted by the arrival of Malik, the guild’s leader, a man as cunning as he was ruthless.
“Riven,” Malik called out, his voice a low, gravelly whisper. “We have a job for you. One that requires your... unique talents.”
Riven turned, his expression guarded. “What is it?”
“There’s a man, a prominent figure in the city’s council, working to bring peace between magi and non-magi. He’s become a threat to our operations. We need you to eliminate him.”
Riven’s heart sank. He had heard of this man, Lord Alden, a beacon of hope in a city shrouded in fear and mistrust. “Why me?” he asked, though he already knew the answer.
“Because you can get close to him, unseen,” Malik replied, his eyes narrowing. “And because you owe us. We took you in when you had nothing.”
Riven clenched his fists, his mind racing. He had to find a way to protect Alden without betraying the guild.
That night, Riven slipped through the city like a wraith, Nyx at his side. He moved silently, his thoughts a turbulent mix of loyalty and morality. Memories of his family flashed through his mind—his parents, who had believed in a better world, and his sister, who had always protected him. He couldn’t let their sacrifices be in vain.
He found Lord Alden in his study, pouring over documents by candlelight. Riven watched him from the shadows, his heart pounding. Alden’s face was etched with lines of worry, but his eyes shone with determination.
Riven stepped forward, the shadows peeling away from him like a cloak. “Lord Alden,” he whispered, his voice barely audible.
Alden looked up, startled. “Who’s there?”
“A friend,” Riven replied, his voice steadying. “You’re in danger. The Thieves' Guild has marked you for death.”
Alden’s eyes widened. “Why would you tell me this?”
“Because what you’re doing matters,” Riven said, stepping fully into the light. “And because I know what it’s like to lose everything.”
Alden studied him for a moment, then nodded. “Thank you. But what can we do?”
“We need to make it look like you’re dead,” Riven said, a plan forming in his mind. “Leave Entros, go into hiding. I’ll handle the guild.”
The following night, Riven returned to the guild, his heart heavy with the weight of his decision. Malik awaited him, a cold smile playing on his lips. “Is it done?”
Riven nodded, forcing himself to remain calm. “Alden is dead. The city will soon hear of his demise.”
Malik’s smile widened. “Well done, Riven. You’ve proven your loyalty.”
But as the days passed, rumors spread of Alden’s survival. The guild grew restless, suspicion falling on Riven. Malik confronted him, his eyes burning with fury. “You lied to me,” he hissed. “You betrayed us.”
Riven stood his ground, Nyx materializing beside him, her presence a comforting weight. “I chose to do what was right,” he said, his voice unwavering. “I won’t let you destroy this city.”
Malik’s sneer turned to a snarl. “You’ll regret this.”
The fight was brutal. Malik was a seasoned fighter, his movements swift and deadly. He wielded a pair of short swords, their blades glinting in the dim light. But Riven had the shadows at his command. He and Nyx moved as one, their attacks a symphony of darkness and precision. Malik lunged with his swords, slashing through the air. Riven melted into the shadows, reappearing behind him. Nyx leaped, her claws aiming for Malik’s throat, but he twisted away just in time.
Malik kept pressing the attack and lunged again, but Riven had the power of darkness at his command. He summoned tendrils of condensed shadow wrapping around Malik’s arms, pulling him down, but Malik broke free, his swords cutting through the shadowy restraints. He spun, his blades flashing in the darkness, but Riven anticipated his move, sidestepping and striking with a shadow-wreathed fist. Nyx pounced, her claws raking across Malik’s back.
Malik stumbled, his eyes wide with shock. “This isn’t over,” he spat, blood staining his lips.
Riven stepped forward, his expression hard. “Yes, it is.” With a final, decisive strike, he ended Malik’s reign.
In the aftermath, Riven stood among the ruins of the guild’s hideout, his heart heavy yet resolved. He had chosen his path, one that honored his family’s memory and the values they had instilled in him. The city of Entros still lay shrouded in darkness, but Riven knew that light could be found even in the deepest shadows.
As dawn broke, casting a pale light over the city, Riven and Nyx disappeared into the shadows once more, ready to protect those who could not protect themselves. His journey was far from over, but he had found his purpose—a beacon of hope in a world that desperately needed it.
submitted by AloofWriter to shortstories [link] [comments]
Riven was an orphan, having lost his family to the Anti-Magic Knights years ago. The streets of Entros had been his home, teaching him the harsh lessons of survival. Now, with his new powers, he had become a target for those who sought to use him. One such group was the Thieves' Guild, a clandestine organization that thrived in Entros, exploiting the city’s perpetual darkness for their gains. Assassin guilds like the Thieves' Guild were only sanctioned by The Order, the infamous assassin guild known for its ruthless efficiency and moral ambiguity. The Order used these guilds to recruit the best assassins, expanding their influence and control across the land.
Riven stood at the edge of a rooftop, gazing down at the bustling market below. The sun had set, and the city was cloaked in darkness. Nyx prowled beside him, her eyes gleaming with an otherworldly light. He had been with the Thieves' Guild for months, learning to harness his powers under their tutelage. His ability to blend into shadows and move unseen had made him invaluable to the guild.
Yet, something gnawed at him. The more he delved into the world of thievery, the more he questioned his place in it. His thoughts were interrupted by the arrival of Malik, the guild’s leader, a man as cunning as he was ruthless.
“Riven,” Malik called out, his voice a low, gravelly whisper. “We have a job for you. One that requires your... unique talents.”
Riven turned, his expression guarded. “What is it?”
“There’s a man, a prominent figure in the city’s council, working to bring peace between magi and non-magi. He’s become a threat to our operations. We need you to eliminate him.”
Riven’s heart sank. He had heard of this man, Lord Alden, a beacon of hope in a city shrouded in fear and mistrust. “Why me?” he asked, though he already knew the answer.
“Because you can get close to him, unseen,” Malik replied, his eyes narrowing. “And because you owe us. We took you in when you had nothing.”
Riven clenched his fists, his mind racing. He had to find a way to protect Alden without betraying the guild.
That night, Riven slipped through the city like a wraith, Nyx at his side. He moved silently, his thoughts a turbulent mix of loyalty and morality. Memories of his family flashed through his mind—his parents, who had believed in a better world, and his sister, who had always protected him. He couldn’t let their sacrifices be in vain.
He found Lord Alden in his study, pouring over documents by candlelight. Riven watched him from the shadows, his heart pounding. Alden’s face was etched with lines of worry, but his eyes shone with determination.
Riven stepped forward, the shadows peeling away from him like a cloak. “Lord Alden,” he whispered, his voice barely audible.
Alden looked up, startled. “Who’s there?”
“A friend,” Riven replied, his voice steadying. “You’re in danger. The Thieves' Guild has marked you for death.”
Alden’s eyes widened. “Why would you tell me this?”
“Because what you’re doing matters,” Riven said, stepping fully into the light. “And because I know what it’s like to lose everything.”
Alden studied him for a moment, then nodded. “Thank you. But what can we do?”
“We need to make it look like you’re dead,” Riven said, a plan forming in his mind. “Leave Entros, go into hiding. I’ll handle the guild.”
The following night, Riven returned to the guild, his heart heavy with the weight of his decision. Malik awaited him, a cold smile playing on his lips. “Is it done?”
Riven nodded, forcing himself to remain calm. “Alden is dead. The city will soon hear of his demise.”
Malik’s smile widened. “Well done, Riven. You’ve proven your loyalty.”
But as the days passed, rumors spread of Alden’s survival. The guild grew restless, suspicion falling on Riven. Malik confronted him, his eyes burning with fury. “You lied to me,” he hissed. “You betrayed us.”
Riven stood his ground, Nyx materializing beside him, her presence a comforting weight. “I chose to do what was right,” he said, his voice unwavering. “I won’t let you destroy this city.”
Malik’s sneer turned to a snarl. “You’ll regret this.”
The fight was brutal. Malik was a seasoned fighter, his movements swift and deadly. He wielded a pair of short swords, their blades glinting in the dim light. But Riven had the shadows at his command. He and Nyx moved as one, their attacks a symphony of darkness and precision. Malik lunged with his swords, slashing through the air. Riven melted into the shadows, reappearing behind him. Nyx leaped, her claws aiming for Malik’s throat, but he twisted away just in time.
Malik kept pressing the attack and lunged again, but Riven had the power of darkness at his command. He summoned tendrils of condensed shadow wrapping around Malik’s arms, pulling him down, but Malik broke free, his swords cutting through the shadowy restraints. He spun, his blades flashing in the darkness, but Riven anticipated his move, sidestepping and striking with a shadow-wreathed fist. Nyx pounced, her claws raking across Malik’s back.
Malik stumbled, his eyes wide with shock. “This isn’t over,” he spat, blood staining his lips.
Riven stepped forward, his expression hard. “Yes, it is.” With a final, decisive strike, he ended Malik’s reign.
In the aftermath, Riven stood among the ruins of the guild’s hideout, his heart heavy yet resolved. He had chosen his path, one that honored his family’s memory and the values they had instilled in him. The city of Entros still lay shrouded in darkness, but Riven knew that light could be found even in the deepest shadows.
As dawn broke, casting a pale light over the city, Riven and Nyx disappeared into the shadows once more, ready to protect those who could not protect themselves. His journey was far from over, but he had found his purpose—a beacon of hope in a world that desperately needed it.
2024.05.19 19:59 RedWhiteBluesGuitar C0met P1ng P0ng. P1zzaG@te.
You dare not use the "P Word."
P_G draws all the looneys out; the type of crazy person that will say anything to derail the conversation; the type of hand wringing that makes it obvious there is a cover up going on.
David Seaman has alerts set up so that he is ready to respond to any P_G post within moments, to insert disinformation about James Alefantis being a Rothschild and intentionally, always, forgetting the fact that "I've never had an affair before" is the end of an email thread that describes providing three young girls for entertainment.
The P_G terrifies shills and it terrifies elites such that they spent billions trying to bury the story and make it even seem dangerous to talk about. The over-the-top suppressive response was what drew a lot of people's attention.
On Reddit, you can see the censorship at work; the most reasonable answer, awarded "Reddit Gold" is deleted.
https://i.imgur.com/teOOQPI.png
rareddit allows one to see what Reddit has deleted. In this case, we see that Reuters set of a "strawman argument" about a basement, while ignoring the real focus; the convicted pedophiles; the satanic imagery; the corruption. Reuters is a corrupt mouthpiece of the elite.
https://i.imgur.com/HZ2S8lF.png
Reuters recycled an old trope from another child sex story in Britain, "There is no basement, so there is no child abuse." The problem is that Reuters and James Alefantis lied to you. Why would they lie about a basement?
https://i.imgur.com/3Vsgpbz.jpg
Ben Swann did a 5 minute run down, which is the best introduction to the issue:
Here is the video:
https://gvid.tv/v/XzjlMh
Here is a screenshot of the opening:
https://i.imgur.com/U6oQa28.png
But notice he says, in regards to John Podesta's emails "none mention child sex trafficking".
There is literally a file called "Italy Child Sex." There is the hot tub email. Ben Swann does a pretty good job of balancing what he is and isn't allowed to say, but his summary leaves a lot to be desired.
https://i.imgur.com/o3Tyt1e.png
He does mention the "code words." "Cheese pizza" has been used as an alternative way of referring to "child porn" on the Internet, for years. 4chan even organically invented a way to deal with "cheese pizza" threads, by inserting pictures of spider man to fill the threads to limit.
"Dr. Pizza", a journalist with Ars Technica, staunchly denied Pizzagate was real, but was then caught as being a pedophile. Dojo Pizzeria was tied to an arrest. "The Pizza Connection Trial" involved using pizzerias for laundering money from drugs and human trafficking. There are plenty of red flags.
https://i.imgur.com/zBygdzo.png
Megyn Kelly did the most unjournalistic interview, possible, of James Alefantis in order to help cover up the crimes involved. She leaves out the blackmail case, Laura Silsby, the pedo musicians (Sex Stains, Majestic Ape), the satanic imagery on Alefantis' Instagram, the babies, drugs and money on Instagram, and on and on. Megyn Kelly is not just the dumbest reporter, there is, she is intentionally blind to the obvious.
https://i.imgur.com/IeLc8Rd.png
It is worth noting that Alefantis allowed a camera into the pizzeria to show a bullet hole in the computer, claiming that it went through the door first... but there is no bullet hole in the door.
https://i.imgur.com/orQNaSY.png
Megyn Kelly expresses horror, sympathy over Pizzagate in first interview with Comet Ping Pong owner
https://archive.ph/mC7q7
A fake media narrative was set up that discussing this topic was dangerous, when they staged a scene where son of an FBI agent "show up" Comet Ping Pong. A "False Flag" shooting.
https://i.imgur.com/7GN1Mzv.png
The lie was obvious. Why would a "P_G Researcher" shoot a computer that supposedly housed all the evidence?
https://i.imgur.com/qeX1oVG.jpg
Despite the suppression and spin of the story, it continued to gather steam on the Internet, resulting in entire communities being banned; tens of thousands of people blocked from viewing any content.
Before Reddit completely banned P_G subreddit, this was one of the last posts (which was deleted along with everything else.)
https://i.imgur.com/DKJkdQJ.png
Given all of the corruption and cover ups we know about, it is no surprise that P_G has been reduced to nothing more than a footnote in conspiracy forums. But, when there are new developments, thousands of people take notice, though they no longer discuss it, from fear of being banned.
The last corners of the Internet where people were allowed to discuss, were heavily shilled and monitored by SITE Intelligence Group (Mossad cut out that makes fake threat reports) and their allies, so that they could be labeled "extremists."
Even in those dark corners of the Internet, the issues were still being pushed and still causing some progress to be made; if nothing else, then they at least continued raising awareness.
https://i.imgur.com/sIjplTL.png
Project FLICKER
https://i.imgur.com/5LthZW1.png
Sodomy, bribery: The case against Terry Bean
https://archive.ph/n0UNJ
Ed Buck Sentenced to 30 Years in Federal Prison for Providing Methamphetamine to Two Victims Who Suffered Fatal Overdoses
https://archive.ph/70944
Adam Schiff and a Writer for "Lucifer"
https://i.imgur.com/oxPCj0Z.png
Adam Schiff. Ed Buck. Ted Lieu.
https://i.imgur.com/OXDXY9Q.png
P_G did not pop out of thin air. Not only was pizza already in wide use as a code word, John Podesta already had a reputation for being involved in blackmail rings.
https://i.imgur.com/s6P9uJF.png
Comet P1ng P0ng already had a reputation of documenting wild parties. Nevermind, whether or not, that could be Hillary and Huma on a ping pong table; why would there even be two women dressed to look like Hillary and Huma on a ping pong table? And why would that be recorded and then rebroadcast at Comet?
https://i.imgur.com/8FRaQAb.png
Notice the Pentagram on the Pizza, on the poster in the girl of the room who made the video of "Sex Stains" at Comet.
https://i.imgur.com/uEgcYJP.jpg
Here is her family. Draw whatever conclusions you like.
https://archive.ph/WA4lM
The research continued, but the astroturfing stuck to the same tired arguments that were now, officially, debunked.
https://i.imgur.com/pGuTcie.jpg
P_G drew so many people not because of a basement, or a specific allegation; people were drawn in because it pulled together so many issues under one umbrella, resulting in a series of cascading epiphanies that was neurologically rewarding researchers.
https://i.imgur.com/1NLY4de.png
It is now deleted, but my recollection of when P_G "broke" was on the now banned "The Donald" subreddit, when, along with the realization that John Podesta and James Alefantis were connected in a number of ways (David Brock even claimed they were dating in a video interview), the "FBIAnon" post about Hillary Clinton being involved in human trafficking, the connection with Marina Abramovic and "Spirit Cooking", and the "Edible Schoolyard"... the question emerged organically...
https://i.imgur.com/j1vhVmI.png
"Are these people joking about eating kids?"
https://i.imgur.com/udXqU5T.png
This is what the media and government was really trying to hide. Whether it was true or not, people asking the question is enough to destroy nearly every single career politician, CEO and news outlet that helped cover it up; as well it should.
https://i.imgur.com/BjVwBKr.png
All of the other corruption is bad enough, but these people are practically bragging about it on social media.
https://i.imgur.com/EXBPYZa.png
In The Secret Teachings of All Ages, we are introduced to a number of ancient rituals that date back prior to the written word. One of these rituals was to be buried alive. One might say a sensory deprivation tank is the modern version, but we keep seeing child sized coffins in the social media of this group of people.
https://i.imgur.com/xHh29a7.png
"Marina" was who Hillary Clinton was printing classified material for. Here is Marina Abramovic with John of God.
https://i.imgur.com/Q3L7A0r.png
Marina with boy.
https://i.imgur.com/7PFEISA.png
Marina with girl.
https://i.imgur.com/Mu0mhYr.png
People have every right to question what is going on with these images.
https://i.imgur.com/uzRNGCj.png
Note: Tamara Luzzatto is not actually their grandmother. But, she is in Sydney Blumenthal’s contacts, along with half of DC. The other half? Have her husband in their contact list.
https://i.imgur.com/HiVEmyI.png
Marina Abramovic, Marco Brambilla, Jeff Dupre
https://i.imgur.com/utVX6tg.png
Marina's "Art".
https://i.imgur.com/CqRsMDZ.png
More "Art".
https://i.imgur.com/EGq6cag.png
A cannibalism reference?
https://i.imgur.com/7tcDgUE.png
Marina and Rothschild.
https://i.imgur.com/jvZ7XTW.png
Marina and Dr. Oz?
https://i.imgur.com/aFM9ayl.png
Similar to the Finders ritual?
https://i.imgur.com/PpSmLBH.png
Many of the researchers on the Internet were correct and their research was borne out with the arrest of Epstein, Maxwell, Nygard, Brunel and others.
Bill Clinton denied, but he lied.
https://i.imgur.com/i2uInFa.jpg
Nobody was yet talking about Maxwell and Epstein stealing babies.
https://i.imgur.com/hJP7I5W.png
The Finders files were not yet public in October of 2016.
This story, though guessed at by P_G researchers, was also borne out.
Secret CIA Files Say Staffers Committed Sex Crimes Involving Children
https://archive.ph/L6C9F
CNN Producers were not yet arrested for trying to build their own sex slave networks.
https://archive.ph/3n11T
Another former CNN producer under investigation for child sex crimes
https://archive.ph/c13rY
Comey had not been exposed, yet, in October of 2016, of ordering a cover up of P_G. The IG report with emails from Comey's personal account had not been released, yet.
"A Serious Woman*
https://i.imgur.com/x9sj7cB.png
Coleman Notes:
https://i.imgur.com/KNwKJRT.png
The Anthony Weiner Laptop:
https://i.imgur.com/AyvYFUf.png
Brett Blomme, a juvenile court judge, had not yet been arrested, where he and his husband were sexually abusing their adopted children and uploading the recordings of it to Kik, gave out kids, using the legal system, to his pedo friends.
https://i.imgur.com/fzO0K70.png
Adam Schiff and Ed Buck are both into young black men.
https://i.imgur.com/oxPCj0Z.png Epstein Didn't Kill Himself. But, someone went to a lot of trouble making a fake video to try and convince us he did.
https://i.imgur.com/1aK08wN.png
All of the evidence disappeared.
https://i.imgur.com/b661F86.jpg
"Minimum Security" Maxwell's Customers Are Still Free.
https://i.imgur.com/NokPzFZ.png
A Mossad blackmail ring was, more or less, operating out in the open and anyone who complained about it was treated like they were crazy. This went on for decades, and, then, it turns out everyone who was complaining was, not only right, but that it was worse than anyone was willing to let on.
https://i.imgur.com/Fr11sR5.jpg
Former Israeli Intel Official Claims Jeffrey Epstein, Ghislaine Maxwell Worked for Israel
https://archive.ph/Sja88
Former Spy Details Israel’s Main Motive Behind Epstein’s Sexual Blackmail Operation
https://archive.ph/IeBgO
Epstein's blackmail ring was never the only game in town.
Jean-Luc Brunel: Epstein associate found dead in Paris prison cell
https://archive.ph/2R41A
Fashion Mogul Set to Face Sex-Trafficking Charges in U.S.
https://archive.ph/nMs3v
This all happened AFTER Reuters insisted that P_G was fake.
Even prior to October of 2016, there was already a great deal of public information that should have been very concerning. There was plenty of reason to have legitimate concerns about Comet P1ng P0ng when some weird information started to come out.
Before Comet P1ng P0ng made the spotlight, most people were not aware of information that was already available.
Jeffrey Epstein was accused of sex trafficking young girls on his mysterious private island. Over 40 years ago, a different millionaire escaped justice in a stunningly similar case.
https://archive.ph/8ivRh
Ghislaine Maxwell's father was an Israeli spy and she almost certainly inherited his blackmail operation. Robert Maxwell was also involved in text books for the US educational system.
*The “Anti-Extremism” Think Tank Started by Sons of Israeli Superspy Robert Maxwell *
https://archive.ph/lCvQ6
Mega Group, Maxwells and Mossad: The Spy Story at the Heart of the Jeffrey Epstein Scandal
https://archive.ph/A6dsG
Roy Cohn was another blackmail ring operator and mentor of Donald Trump.
https://i.imgur.com/Pnly1CT.png
The Hellfire Club
https://archive.ph/LrXni
When James Jameson Bought A Girl Just To Watch Her Be Eaten By Cannibals
https://archive.ph/3YT1d
You will be cooked into a kebap if you are too uppity about it and the police will do nothing.
https://i.imgur.com/X7kdBG4.png
Clinton's faith healer, Oprah's friend, John of God, with a baby farm and in jail for sexually abusing hundreds of women. The Chicago Ripper Crew. The Franklin Scandal. UN Child Sex Abuse. None of this stuff is new.
https://i.imgur.com/cvkO8Ix.jpg
DynCorp
https://i.imgur.com/cMndyxc.png
Bacha Bazi
https://i.imgur.com/gaNSXaH.png
Cover Ups.
https://i.imgur.com/a1fAvlo.png
More cover ups.
https://i.imgur.com/fSir93g.png
And more cover ups.
https://i.imgur.com/hlV5aAe.png
And more cover ups.
https://i.imgur.com/FyzLh0e.png
And more cover ups.
https://archive.ph/sAu38
How many pedophiles are the Clintons tied to? I've lost count.
https://i.imgur.com/dcXvCNm.jpg
James Alefantis and David Brock
https://i.imgur.com/sxTSS5p.png
Lawsuit of David Brock and James Alefantis
https://i.imgur.com/lHFkcNy.png
Media Matters for America
https://i.imgur.com/oxE9aPs.png
Exclusive Access to money laundering through art.
https://i.imgur.com/Gl1ds8y.png
Friends with Police
https://i.imgur.com/aYc1Xuq.png
Heather Podesta on the Board.
https://i.imgur.com/y01Onag.png
But P_G was more than just about research into what was going on politically, or into James Alefantis obvious satanic proclivities and his obvious attraction to children. What was revealed was a dark nexus of media, politics and these weirdo cultists.
There was a widespread epiphany of a great many people that this degeneracy was being intentionally pushed by people who were occultists and wanted everyone else wrapped up in their dark religion. And when we said, "No", they collectively lost their minds.
It should also being concerning that Kamala Harris was tied to Comet, as well, and, seemingly, a top choice for John Podesta to run for office. Considering her ties to fake police...
https://i.imgur.com/vgai2ns.png
In Your Own Homes It is becoming increasingly more difficult to resist these forces from coming into your own home; particularly if you have children.
The pedophiles reading to kids in drag is nothing new to anyone.
Drag Queen Story Hour
https://i.imgur.com/1vg4oCF.png
Alberto Garza
https://i.imgur.com/HjE2JQg.png
William Dees
https://i.imgur.com/7MPhRV0.png
Sasha Sota
https://i.imgur.com/VgQZW8n.png
The bottom line is that the media, the disgusting shills on the Internet, the FBI and many other groups are involved in covering up these crimes because their political agendas demand it.
https://i.redd.it/odn6da1goud91.png
https://i.redd.it/kkqtau7vzec91.png
https://i.redd.it/wna38dwq9mb91.jpg
https://i.redd.it/vhtxtx5p53h91.png
https://i.redd.it/66q2o2axzya91.png
https://i.redd.it/zli9expz18h91.png
https://i.redd.it/4odftufizya91.png
https://i.redd.it/evleoe2uo6b91.jpg
https://i.redd.it/tgc15yd9a7b91.png
https://i.redd.it/tsu5kl1h3cb91.png
https://i.redd.it/zsrbvlo2e2b91.png
https://i.redd.it/vm58sq6t63h91.png
https://i.redd.it/2xooybv1mxb91.png
https://i.redd.it/doxt15ibkxb91.png
https://i.redd.it/285eue79zfb91.png
https://i.redd.it/3zvz15n4zfb91.png
https://i.redd.it/kr5ql6tgb7b91.png
https://i.redd.it/drg7ctpme2b91.png
https://i.redd.it/03lmdltuc0b91.png
https://i.redd.it/0pwf7fa9pxb91.png
https://i.redd.it/cik0p525pza91.png
submitted by RedWhiteBluesGuitar to conspiracy [link] [comments]
P_G draws all the looneys out; the type of crazy person that will say anything to derail the conversation; the type of hand wringing that makes it obvious there is a cover up going on.
David Seaman has alerts set up so that he is ready to respond to any P_G post within moments, to insert disinformation about James Alefantis being a Rothschild and intentionally, always, forgetting the fact that "I've never had an affair before" is the end of an email thread that describes providing three young girls for entertainment.
The P_G terrifies shills and it terrifies elites such that they spent billions trying to bury the story and make it even seem dangerous to talk about. The over-the-top suppressive response was what drew a lot of people's attention.
On Reddit, you can see the censorship at work; the most reasonable answer, awarded "Reddit Gold" is deleted.
https://i.imgur.com/teOOQPI.png
rareddit allows one to see what Reddit has deleted. In this case, we see that Reuters set of a "strawman argument" about a basement, while ignoring the real focus; the convicted pedophiles; the satanic imagery; the corruption. Reuters is a corrupt mouthpiece of the elite.
https://i.imgur.com/HZ2S8lF.png
Reuters recycled an old trope from another child sex story in Britain, "There is no basement, so there is no child abuse." The problem is that Reuters and James Alefantis lied to you. Why would they lie about a basement?
https://i.imgur.com/3Vsgpbz.jpg
Ben Swann did a 5 minute run down, which is the best introduction to the issue:
Here is the video:
https://gvid.tv/v/XzjlMh
Here is a screenshot of the opening:
https://i.imgur.com/U6oQa28.png
But notice he says, in regards to John Podesta's emails "none mention child sex trafficking".
There is literally a file called "Italy Child Sex." There is the hot tub email. Ben Swann does a pretty good job of balancing what he is and isn't allowed to say, but his summary leaves a lot to be desired.
https://i.imgur.com/o3Tyt1e.png
He does mention the "code words." "Cheese pizza" has been used as an alternative way of referring to "child porn" on the Internet, for years. 4chan even organically invented a way to deal with "cheese pizza" threads, by inserting pictures of spider man to fill the threads to limit.
"Dr. Pizza", a journalist with Ars Technica, staunchly denied Pizzagate was real, but was then caught as being a pedophile. Dojo Pizzeria was tied to an arrest. "The Pizza Connection Trial" involved using pizzerias for laundering money from drugs and human trafficking. There are plenty of red flags.
https://i.imgur.com/zBygdzo.png
Megyn Kelly did the most unjournalistic interview, possible, of James Alefantis in order to help cover up the crimes involved. She leaves out the blackmail case, Laura Silsby, the pedo musicians (Sex Stains, Majestic Ape), the satanic imagery on Alefantis' Instagram, the babies, drugs and money on Instagram, and on and on. Megyn Kelly is not just the dumbest reporter, there is, she is intentionally blind to the obvious.
https://i.imgur.com/IeLc8Rd.png
It is worth noting that Alefantis allowed a camera into the pizzeria to show a bullet hole in the computer, claiming that it went through the door first... but there is no bullet hole in the door.
https://i.imgur.com/orQNaSY.png
Megyn Kelly expresses horror, sympathy over Pizzagate in first interview with Comet Ping Pong owner
https://archive.ph/mC7q7
A fake media narrative was set up that discussing this topic was dangerous, when they staged a scene where son of an FBI agent "show up" Comet Ping Pong. A "False Flag" shooting.
https://i.imgur.com/7GN1Mzv.png
The lie was obvious. Why would a "P_G Researcher" shoot a computer that supposedly housed all the evidence?
https://i.imgur.com/qeX1oVG.jpg
Despite the suppression and spin of the story, it continued to gather steam on the Internet, resulting in entire communities being banned; tens of thousands of people blocked from viewing any content.
Before Reddit completely banned P_G subreddit, this was one of the last posts (which was deleted along with everything else.)
https://i.imgur.com/DKJkdQJ.png
Given all of the corruption and cover ups we know about, it is no surprise that P_G has been reduced to nothing more than a footnote in conspiracy forums. But, when there are new developments, thousands of people take notice, though they no longer discuss it, from fear of being banned.
The last corners of the Internet where people were allowed to discuss, were heavily shilled and monitored by SITE Intelligence Group (Mossad cut out that makes fake threat reports) and their allies, so that they could be labeled "extremists."
Even in those dark corners of the Internet, the issues were still being pushed and still causing some progress to be made; if nothing else, then they at least continued raising awareness.
https://i.imgur.com/sIjplTL.png
Project FLICKER
https://i.imgur.com/5LthZW1.png
Sodomy, bribery: The case against Terry Bean
https://archive.ph/n0UNJ
Ed Buck Sentenced to 30 Years in Federal Prison for Providing Methamphetamine to Two Victims Who Suffered Fatal Overdoses
https://archive.ph/70944
Adam Schiff and a Writer for "Lucifer"
https://i.imgur.com/oxPCj0Z.png
Adam Schiff. Ed Buck. Ted Lieu.
https://i.imgur.com/OXDXY9Q.png
P_G did not pop out of thin air. Not only was pizza already in wide use as a code word, John Podesta already had a reputation for being involved in blackmail rings.
https://i.imgur.com/s6P9uJF.png
Comet P1ng P0ng already had a reputation of documenting wild parties. Nevermind, whether or not, that could be Hillary and Huma on a ping pong table; why would there even be two women dressed to look like Hillary and Huma on a ping pong table? And why would that be recorded and then rebroadcast at Comet?
https://i.imgur.com/8FRaQAb.png
Notice the Pentagram on the Pizza, on the poster in the girl of the room who made the video of "Sex Stains" at Comet.
https://i.imgur.com/uEgcYJP.jpg
Here is her family. Draw whatever conclusions you like.
https://archive.ph/WA4lM
The research continued, but the astroturfing stuck to the same tired arguments that were now, officially, debunked.
https://i.imgur.com/pGuTcie.jpg
P_G drew so many people not because of a basement, or a specific allegation; people were drawn in because it pulled together so many issues under one umbrella, resulting in a series of cascading epiphanies that was neurologically rewarding researchers.
https://i.imgur.com/1NLY4de.png
It is now deleted, but my recollection of when P_G "broke" was on the now banned "The Donald" subreddit, when, along with the realization that John Podesta and James Alefantis were connected in a number of ways (David Brock even claimed they were dating in a video interview), the "FBIAnon" post about Hillary Clinton being involved in human trafficking, the connection with Marina Abramovic and "Spirit Cooking", and the "Edible Schoolyard"... the question emerged organically...
https://i.imgur.com/j1vhVmI.png
"Are these people joking about eating kids?"
https://i.imgur.com/udXqU5T.png
This is what the media and government was really trying to hide. Whether it was true or not, people asking the question is enough to destroy nearly every single career politician, CEO and news outlet that helped cover it up; as well it should.
https://i.imgur.com/BjVwBKr.png
All of the other corruption is bad enough, but these people are practically bragging about it on social media.
https://i.imgur.com/EXBPYZa.png
In The Secret Teachings of All Ages, we are introduced to a number of ancient rituals that date back prior to the written word. One of these rituals was to be buried alive. One might say a sensory deprivation tank is the modern version, but we keep seeing child sized coffins in the social media of this group of people.
https://i.imgur.com/xHh29a7.png
"Marina" was who Hillary Clinton was printing classified material for. Here is Marina Abramovic with John of God.
https://i.imgur.com/Q3L7A0r.png
Marina with boy.
https://i.imgur.com/7PFEISA.png
Marina with girl.
https://i.imgur.com/Mu0mhYr.png
People have every right to question what is going on with these images.
https://i.imgur.com/uzRNGCj.png
Note: Tamara Luzzatto is not actually their grandmother. But, she is in Sydney Blumenthal’s contacts, along with half of DC. The other half? Have her husband in their contact list.
https://i.imgur.com/HiVEmyI.png
Marina Abramovic, Marco Brambilla, Jeff Dupre
https://i.imgur.com/utVX6tg.png
Marina's "Art".
https://i.imgur.com/CqRsMDZ.png
More "Art".
https://i.imgur.com/EGq6cag.png
A cannibalism reference?
https://i.imgur.com/7tcDgUE.png
Marina and Rothschild.
https://i.imgur.com/jvZ7XTW.png
Marina and Dr. Oz?
https://i.imgur.com/aFM9ayl.png
Similar to the Finders ritual?
https://i.imgur.com/PpSmLBH.png
Many of the researchers on the Internet were correct and their research was borne out with the arrest of Epstein, Maxwell, Nygard, Brunel and others.
Bill Clinton denied, but he lied.
https://i.imgur.com/i2uInFa.jpg
Nobody was yet talking about Maxwell and Epstein stealing babies.
https://i.imgur.com/hJP7I5W.png
The Finders files were not yet public in October of 2016.
This story, though guessed at by P_G researchers, was also borne out.
Secret CIA Files Say Staffers Committed Sex Crimes Involving Children
https://archive.ph/L6C9F
CNN Producers were not yet arrested for trying to build their own sex slave networks.
https://archive.ph/3n11T
Another former CNN producer under investigation for child sex crimes
https://archive.ph/c13rY
Comey had not been exposed, yet, in October of 2016, of ordering a cover up of P_G. The IG report with emails from Comey's personal account had not been released, yet.
"A Serious Woman*
https://i.imgur.com/x9sj7cB.png
Coleman Notes:
https://i.imgur.com/KNwKJRT.png
The Anthony Weiner Laptop:
https://i.imgur.com/AyvYFUf.png
Brett Blomme, a juvenile court judge, had not yet been arrested, where he and his husband were sexually abusing their adopted children and uploading the recordings of it to Kik, gave out kids, using the legal system, to his pedo friends.
https://i.imgur.com/fzO0K70.png
Adam Schiff and Ed Buck are both into young black men.
https://i.imgur.com/oxPCj0Z.png Epstein Didn't Kill Himself. But, someone went to a lot of trouble making a fake video to try and convince us he did.
https://i.imgur.com/1aK08wN.png
All of the evidence disappeared.
https://i.imgur.com/b661F86.jpg
"Minimum Security" Maxwell's Customers Are Still Free.
https://i.imgur.com/NokPzFZ.png
A Mossad blackmail ring was, more or less, operating out in the open and anyone who complained about it was treated like they were crazy. This went on for decades, and, then, it turns out everyone who was complaining was, not only right, but that it was worse than anyone was willing to let on.
https://i.imgur.com/Fr11sR5.jpg
Former Israeli Intel Official Claims Jeffrey Epstein, Ghislaine Maxwell Worked for Israel
https://archive.ph/Sja88
Former Spy Details Israel’s Main Motive Behind Epstein’s Sexual Blackmail Operation
https://archive.ph/IeBgO
Epstein's blackmail ring was never the only game in town.
Jean-Luc Brunel: Epstein associate found dead in Paris prison cell
https://archive.ph/2R41A
Fashion Mogul Set to Face Sex-Trafficking Charges in U.S.
https://archive.ph/nMs3v
This all happened AFTER Reuters insisted that P_G was fake.
Even prior to October of 2016, there was already a great deal of public information that should have been very concerning. There was plenty of reason to have legitimate concerns about Comet P1ng P0ng when some weird information started to come out.
Before Comet P1ng P0ng made the spotlight, most people were not aware of information that was already available.
Jeffrey Epstein was accused of sex trafficking young girls on his mysterious private island. Over 40 years ago, a different millionaire escaped justice in a stunningly similar case.
https://archive.ph/8ivRh
Ghislaine Maxwell's father was an Israeli spy and she almost certainly inherited his blackmail operation. Robert Maxwell was also involved in text books for the US educational system.
*The “Anti-Extremism” Think Tank Started by Sons of Israeli Superspy Robert Maxwell *
https://archive.ph/lCvQ6
Mega Group, Maxwells and Mossad: The Spy Story at the Heart of the Jeffrey Epstein Scandal
https://archive.ph/A6dsG
Roy Cohn was another blackmail ring operator and mentor of Donald Trump.
https://i.imgur.com/Pnly1CT.png
The Hellfire Club
https://archive.ph/LrXni
When James Jameson Bought A Girl Just To Watch Her Be Eaten By Cannibals
https://archive.ph/3YT1d
You will be cooked into a kebap if you are too uppity about it and the police will do nothing.
https://i.imgur.com/X7kdBG4.png
Clinton's faith healer, Oprah's friend, John of God, with a baby farm and in jail for sexually abusing hundreds of women. The Chicago Ripper Crew. The Franklin Scandal. UN Child Sex Abuse. None of this stuff is new.
https://i.imgur.com/cvkO8Ix.jpg
DynCorp
https://i.imgur.com/cMndyxc.png
Bacha Bazi
https://i.imgur.com/gaNSXaH.png
Cover Ups.
https://i.imgur.com/a1fAvlo.png
More cover ups.
https://i.imgur.com/fSir93g.png
And more cover ups.
https://i.imgur.com/hlV5aAe.png
And more cover ups.
https://i.imgur.com/FyzLh0e.png
And more cover ups.
https://archive.ph/sAu38
How many pedophiles are the Clintons tied to? I've lost count.
https://i.imgur.com/dcXvCNm.jpg
James Alefantis and David Brock
https://i.imgur.com/sxTSS5p.png
Lawsuit of David Brock and James Alefantis
https://i.imgur.com/lHFkcNy.png
Media Matters for America
https://i.imgur.com/oxE9aPs.png
Exclusive Access to money laundering through art.
https://i.imgur.com/Gl1ds8y.png
Friends with Police
https://i.imgur.com/aYc1Xuq.png
Heather Podesta on the Board.
https://i.imgur.com/y01Onag.png
But P_G was more than just about research into what was going on politically, or into James Alefantis obvious satanic proclivities and his obvious attraction to children. What was revealed was a dark nexus of media, politics and these weirdo cultists.
There was a widespread epiphany of a great many people that this degeneracy was being intentionally pushed by people who were occultists and wanted everyone else wrapped up in their dark religion. And when we said, "No", they collectively lost their minds.
It should also being concerning that Kamala Harris was tied to Comet, as well, and, seemingly, a top choice for John Podesta to run for office. Considering her ties to fake police...
https://i.imgur.com/vgai2ns.png
In Your Own Homes It is becoming increasingly more difficult to resist these forces from coming into your own home; particularly if you have children.
The pedophiles reading to kids in drag is nothing new to anyone.
Drag Queen Story Hour
https://i.imgur.com/1vg4oCF.png
Alberto Garza
https://i.imgur.com/HjE2JQg.png
William Dees
https://i.imgur.com/7MPhRV0.png
Sasha Sota
https://i.imgur.com/VgQZW8n.png
The bottom line is that the media, the disgusting shills on the Internet, the FBI and many other groups are involved in covering up these crimes because their political agendas demand it.
https://i.redd.it/odn6da1goud91.png
https://i.redd.it/kkqtau7vzec91.png
https://i.redd.it/wna38dwq9mb91.jpg
https://i.redd.it/vhtxtx5p53h91.png
https://i.redd.it/66q2o2axzya91.png
https://i.redd.it/zli9expz18h91.png
https://i.redd.it/4odftufizya91.png
https://i.redd.it/evleoe2uo6b91.jpg
https://i.redd.it/tgc15yd9a7b91.png
https://i.redd.it/tsu5kl1h3cb91.png
https://i.redd.it/zsrbvlo2e2b91.png
https://i.redd.it/vm58sq6t63h91.png
https://i.redd.it/2xooybv1mxb91.png
https://i.redd.it/doxt15ibkxb91.png
https://i.redd.it/285eue79zfb91.png
https://i.redd.it/3zvz15n4zfb91.png
https://i.redd.it/kr5ql6tgb7b91.png
https://i.redd.it/drg7ctpme2b91.png
https://i.redd.it/03lmdltuc0b91.png
https://i.redd.it/0pwf7fa9pxb91.png
https://i.redd.it/cik0p525pza91.png
2024.05.19 19:57 Extension-Respect-43 AITA for avoiding my man-child brother?
I'm in my early forties and my brother Daniel is in his early thirties. Growing up, I was the unplanned catalyst for my teenage parents' shotgun wedding. They were tough on me as the eldest but indulged Daniel to maintain a quiet life.
We shared a room from when I was nine to eighteen. All my belongings had to be shared, and Daniel often damaged them without consequences. I was introverted with undiagnosed autism, while Daniel was outgoing and sporty. At 14, he was scouted for a sports academy, and my parents invested heavily in his potential career, neglecting my needs and making me responsible for household chores.
During the financial crash, I couldn't afford to move out, but we finally got separate rooms when my parents moved to a larger house. Daniel began stealing from me, and even after I caught him on video, he denied it and faced no real punishment. Eventually, I was allowed to lock my door.
Daniel then targeted my parents' money, breaking into their safe. When they confronted him with marked bills found in his room, he denied it, and I refused to help, echoing their earlier excuse, "It's not stealing if it's family." Daniel's behavior escalated to drug use, and he brought cocaine into the house. Despite my mother’s job with the police, she believed his excuses.
Daniel dropped out of school and was dropped from the academy team. My parents had spent thousands on his career, and they made him get a job, but he was lazy and frequently quit or was fired. I moved out but stayed nearby, while my parents continued to indulge Daniel.
Years later, Daniel posted Islamophobic comments on social media, which I publicly condemned. My parents sided with him, and he refused to join family Christmas dinner because of my criticism. When I was forced to apologize, I sarcastically apologized for his behavior, leading to a physical altercation where he put a hole in the wall. My parents blamed me, and I left with my girlfriend.
I was excluded from family events, and although relations with my parents eventually normalized, I haven't spoken to Daniel since. He now has a child and regularly dumps his kids on my parents, who prioritize them over my daughter, even though I live closer.
My parents still exclude me from events if Daniel is there. Recently, I declined a last-minute invitation to their anniversary when I learned Daniel would attend. I feel that avoiding him is necessary to protect my family from his toxic behavior.
AITA for avoiding my man-child brother?
submitted by Extension-Respect-43 to AITAH [link] [comments]
We shared a room from when I was nine to eighteen. All my belongings had to be shared, and Daniel often damaged them without consequences. I was introverted with undiagnosed autism, while Daniel was outgoing and sporty. At 14, he was scouted for a sports academy, and my parents invested heavily in his potential career, neglecting my needs and making me responsible for household chores.
During the financial crash, I couldn't afford to move out, but we finally got separate rooms when my parents moved to a larger house. Daniel began stealing from me, and even after I caught him on video, he denied it and faced no real punishment. Eventually, I was allowed to lock my door.
Daniel then targeted my parents' money, breaking into their safe. When they confronted him with marked bills found in his room, he denied it, and I refused to help, echoing their earlier excuse, "It's not stealing if it's family." Daniel's behavior escalated to drug use, and he brought cocaine into the house. Despite my mother’s job with the police, she believed his excuses.
Daniel dropped out of school and was dropped from the academy team. My parents had spent thousands on his career, and they made him get a job, but he was lazy and frequently quit or was fired. I moved out but stayed nearby, while my parents continued to indulge Daniel.
Years later, Daniel posted Islamophobic comments on social media, which I publicly condemned. My parents sided with him, and he refused to join family Christmas dinner because of my criticism. When I was forced to apologize, I sarcastically apologized for his behavior, leading to a physical altercation where he put a hole in the wall. My parents blamed me, and I left with my girlfriend.
I was excluded from family events, and although relations with my parents eventually normalized, I haven't spoken to Daniel since. He now has a child and regularly dumps his kids on my parents, who prioritize them over my daughter, even though I live closer.
My parents still exclude me from events if Daniel is there. Recently, I declined a last-minute invitation to their anniversary when I learned Daniel would attend. I feel that avoiding him is necessary to protect my family from his toxic behavior.
AITA for avoiding my man-child brother?
2024.05.19 19:55 HarvardHopeful2020 Regretting Law School Choice -- no articling -- hopeless situation in Canada
Regretting law school choice because there was no 2L recruit, didn't find articling and now applied to Ontario LPP but I don't live in Ontario and have zero intention of moving there. The first course seems fully remote but the work term appears to be in person or hybrid. No way I can leave my current job for 4 months, but now the more I think about it the more I realized the whole articling system is one big scam. I have a job that pays over six figures so doing LPP seems like it would be huge mistake given that the end outcome would be unemployment.
Articling is a scam in Canada. And LPP is even worse. Imagine paying 4k just to do yet another school course for 4 months, and then maybe find a practicum for another 4 months which may or may not be paid at minimum wage, only to still do the bar exam twice, a week apart, and still be unemployed in the end! The whole thing would cost at least 20k to move to Ontario and add another 30k in lost income; and that's just for the 4 month work term and exams. That's Canada for you. And if you do find a job most likely it's a contract temporary position which pays no higher than a government non-law worker. Even if some firm or government agency hired me after LPP, I wouldn't be moving to Ontario and definitely would take a pay cut from my current job.
Meanwhile if you go to USA there is just a 2 day bar exam, and at Harvard Law for example there's like 800+ law firms paying money for the privilege of recruiting 500 or so students on campus in a seamless interview process, with big law paying 220k+ USD day one and they also pay them for a few months to study for the bar exam as a "clerk", not to mention summer jobs with high salaries. Meanwhile at my Canadian law school there was zero recruitment during 2L and no OCIs on campus for 2L or after.
submitted by HarvardHopeful2020 to LawCanada [link] [comments]
Articling is a scam in Canada. And LPP is even worse. Imagine paying 4k just to do yet another school course for 4 months, and then maybe find a practicum for another 4 months which may or may not be paid at minimum wage, only to still do the bar exam twice, a week apart, and still be unemployed in the end! The whole thing would cost at least 20k to move to Ontario and add another 30k in lost income; and that's just for the 4 month work term and exams. That's Canada for you. And if you do find a job most likely it's a contract temporary position which pays no higher than a government non-law worker. Even if some firm or government agency hired me after LPP, I wouldn't be moving to Ontario and definitely would take a pay cut from my current job.
Meanwhile if you go to USA there is just a 2 day bar exam, and at Harvard Law for example there's like 800+ law firms paying money for the privilege of recruiting 500 or so students on campus in a seamless interview process, with big law paying 220k+ USD day one and they also pay them for a few months to study for the bar exam as a "clerk", not to mention summer jobs with high salaries. Meanwhile at my Canadian law school there was zero recruitment during 2L and no OCIs on campus for 2L or after.
2024.05.19 19:44 Chicken_Leading JOB FAIR FAIL?
Let me tell a story: Went to a job fair at the Amsterdam Brewhouse in Toronto last week. Had my interview w/the Assistant GM. He asked me 2 questions that I thought were important "what does hospitality/customer service mean to you" & explain what the process of bringing plates to the table, knowing the menu, what's in the food, how the food is made, allergies". Interviewed continuted & the AGM said to me "thier might be potional here, something to work with, let me give you my business card which I never do, & call me Wednesday. In my head I thinking I got this. This Wednesday I called, the Assistant GM, introduced myself again, he said "there's paperwork to do, blah, blah, blah, send me an email. I sent an email, couple hours later, no response, Thursday morning sent another email, couple hours later, received a response. "Thanks for the phone call & email we went with someone else". After all that I was furious
submitted by Chicken_Leading to Careers [link] [comments]
2024.05.19 19:38 Locke3330 I (23M) kicked my "partner" (21F) out of my friend group because I was upset about how our relationship turned out. Thoughts?
So this is going to be a VERY long story and I hope some of you can take time out of your day so I can get some perspective from other people as I feel some serious guilt after what happened the past 3 days.
To give some background, I was an employee at a grocery store and I became friends with a girl that I'm going to call Amy for the sake of privacy. Amy was cool and we got along great. She did mention that she had a boyfriend and it honestly didn't bother me at the time. I was just happy I made friends with a cool person at work. We would sit together in the break room and have a lot of conversations together and even add each other on sc and talk occasionally outside of work. She did kind of mention to me however that she doesn't have a lot of friends and she was trying to make an effort to be in a group of friends.
Well at the beginning of this year, she ended up quitting and I was pretty sad as she was one of the few friends I made at this job. We didn't speak again until 2 months after she quit. I have a friend group that I have known since I was in middle school and once or twice a month we get together to play video games, play board games, watch movies, etc. I decided to invite her to this friend gathering as I remembered her saying that she didn't have too many friends and I wanted to see her again. She ended up coming and it went amazing for her. She loved being around my friends, we were all laughing and having a great time. She loved all of my friends and we invited her to our discord server afterwards and she became an official member of our friend group. Afterward, I learned that the reason she quit the job was that she had a miscarriage and it destroyed her emotionally. She told me that inviting her to this friend's gathering sorta changed her life and helped her through that dark moment.
Everything seemed to be going smoothly until one day she asked to hang out with me one-on-one at my place. I agreed and she came over and we played video games and watched a few movies together. It ended up becoming super late and we decided to just sit on my couch and just chill and talk for a bit. The conversation ended up starting to get very personal/sexual and there seemed to be an awkward tension happening in that moment. She then tells me that she's actually “Poly” and is into open relationships. Hearing this, I realized that I sorta had feelings for this girl and I made a very risky move by asking her if she wanted to be together in an open relationship in a FWB way. She talked to her BF the very next day and he agreed to let her be with me in an open relationship and that's when it all started.
The first 2 months of our relationship went great. She was seeing me once a week and we were trying to make our relationship work. We started talking about our personal lives a lot more and it seemed like this relationship was going to work. All of the friend group knew about our relationship and she was still active in our discord server and everything seemed to be going well. The relationship started to get kind of serious and we both said that we loved each other. We started discussing having kids potentially in the future and trying to make this open relationship work somehow as it seemed like we both had serious feelings with each other despite her technically having a BF. I stopped viewing this as a FWB and believed that she was the girl I was going to spend the rest of my life with.
However, things started to go a little downhill in the third month of our relationship. I started to notice that she wasn't as talkative and enthusiastic about our relationship as she once was. She started to reply a lot slower to my texts and we started to get into fights. We ended up getting into a MASSIVE fight about a week ago. Long story short I tried to talk to her about our relationship and was kind of wondering why she was acting the way she was. She EXPLODED on me and started yelling at me and saying I was being so annoying by asking her constantly about our relationship. I tried to be as calm as possible as I didn't understand why she was acting this way. I said something along the lines of “If we are a couple I feel like we should talk this out as I care about you” She then said something along the lines of “we aren't a couple, we are just a FWB”. I was heartbroken when she said this after she told me that she loved me and wanted to have a family with me. It was way too overwhelming for me to handle so I decided a few days after the fight that I would break it off with her.
I sent her a text that said that we should stop being in a relationship and just remain friends. Initially, she agreed but I kind of realized as I kept snapping her and texting her I felt heartbroken and I didn't wanna talk to this girl anymore. So I ended up texting her that I don't think we should see each other anymore as it's way too painful for me. I implied that I don't want her around the friend group anymore as it's going to make me feel terrible and fuck with me mentally. She then insisted that she should stay because she was technically part of the group now and that this relationship should have nothing to do with the friends she made. I then later talked to my friend group and they all agreed that she should be exiled and that my mental health is much more important. We ended up banning her from the Discord server and cutting all contact with her.
Well, I feel horrible now. I understand I was heartbroken and still am but I feel like it was a mistake to kick her out when she told me how much of an impact this friend group had on her, especially through her miscarriage. My friend group is all on my side and thinks I did the right thing by kicking her out of the group but I want to hear other people's perspectives. and their advice. I talked with my friend group and they are reluctant to have her come back based on how she treated me in the last month but I still feel very guilty about having her lose her only friends over this.
TLDR: I became a FWB with a friend from work and after our relationship didn't work out I kicked her out of a friend group I introduced her to because I was heartbroken about it not working out. I feel guilty and think I should give her another chance to come back.
submitted by Locke3330 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
To give some background, I was an employee at a grocery store and I became friends with a girl that I'm going to call Amy for the sake of privacy. Amy was cool and we got along great. She did mention that she had a boyfriend and it honestly didn't bother me at the time. I was just happy I made friends with a cool person at work. We would sit together in the break room and have a lot of conversations together and even add each other on sc and talk occasionally outside of work. She did kind of mention to me however that she doesn't have a lot of friends and she was trying to make an effort to be in a group of friends.
Well at the beginning of this year, she ended up quitting and I was pretty sad as she was one of the few friends I made at this job. We didn't speak again until 2 months after she quit. I have a friend group that I have known since I was in middle school and once or twice a month we get together to play video games, play board games, watch movies, etc. I decided to invite her to this friend gathering as I remembered her saying that she didn't have too many friends and I wanted to see her again. She ended up coming and it went amazing for her. She loved being around my friends, we were all laughing and having a great time. She loved all of my friends and we invited her to our discord server afterwards and she became an official member of our friend group. Afterward, I learned that the reason she quit the job was that she had a miscarriage and it destroyed her emotionally. She told me that inviting her to this friend's gathering sorta changed her life and helped her through that dark moment.
Everything seemed to be going smoothly until one day she asked to hang out with me one-on-one at my place. I agreed and she came over and we played video games and watched a few movies together. It ended up becoming super late and we decided to just sit on my couch and just chill and talk for a bit. The conversation ended up starting to get very personal/sexual and there seemed to be an awkward tension happening in that moment. She then tells me that she's actually “Poly” and is into open relationships. Hearing this, I realized that I sorta had feelings for this girl and I made a very risky move by asking her if she wanted to be together in an open relationship in a FWB way. She talked to her BF the very next day and he agreed to let her be with me in an open relationship and that's when it all started.
The first 2 months of our relationship went great. She was seeing me once a week and we were trying to make our relationship work. We started talking about our personal lives a lot more and it seemed like this relationship was going to work. All of the friend group knew about our relationship and she was still active in our discord server and everything seemed to be going well. The relationship started to get kind of serious and we both said that we loved each other. We started discussing having kids potentially in the future and trying to make this open relationship work somehow as it seemed like we both had serious feelings with each other despite her technically having a BF. I stopped viewing this as a FWB and believed that she was the girl I was going to spend the rest of my life with.
However, things started to go a little downhill in the third month of our relationship. I started to notice that she wasn't as talkative and enthusiastic about our relationship as she once was. She started to reply a lot slower to my texts and we started to get into fights. We ended up getting into a MASSIVE fight about a week ago. Long story short I tried to talk to her about our relationship and was kind of wondering why she was acting the way she was. She EXPLODED on me and started yelling at me and saying I was being so annoying by asking her constantly about our relationship. I tried to be as calm as possible as I didn't understand why she was acting this way. I said something along the lines of “If we are a couple I feel like we should talk this out as I care about you” She then said something along the lines of “we aren't a couple, we are just a FWB”. I was heartbroken when she said this after she told me that she loved me and wanted to have a family with me. It was way too overwhelming for me to handle so I decided a few days after the fight that I would break it off with her.
I sent her a text that said that we should stop being in a relationship and just remain friends. Initially, she agreed but I kind of realized as I kept snapping her and texting her I felt heartbroken and I didn't wanna talk to this girl anymore. So I ended up texting her that I don't think we should see each other anymore as it's way too painful for me. I implied that I don't want her around the friend group anymore as it's going to make me feel terrible and fuck with me mentally. She then insisted that she should stay because she was technically part of the group now and that this relationship should have nothing to do with the friends she made. I then later talked to my friend group and they all agreed that she should be exiled and that my mental health is much more important. We ended up banning her from the Discord server and cutting all contact with her.
Well, I feel horrible now. I understand I was heartbroken and still am but I feel like it was a mistake to kick her out when she told me how much of an impact this friend group had on her, especially through her miscarriage. My friend group is all on my side and thinks I did the right thing by kicking her out of the group but I want to hear other people's perspectives. and their advice. I talked with my friend group and they are reluctant to have her come back based on how she treated me in the last month but I still feel very guilty about having her lose her only friends over this.
TLDR: I became a FWB with a friend from work and after our relationship didn't work out I kicked her out of a friend group I introduced her to because I was heartbroken about it not working out. I feel guilty and think I should give her another chance to come back.
2024.05.19 19:38 SolaireGarde Trying to break into writing/editing. Any advise on my resume would be greatly appreciated.
I quit my teaching job in January and have been trying to land a job in writing or editing. Unfortunately, I've only received a few invites to interview. I would appreciate advice on how to make my resume more appealing. Thanks!
https://preview.redd.it/li9gtuq96f1d1.png?width=934&format=png&auto=webp&s=7bb82f02a3786099cb692e88417d558951ad1fa2
* I do use a standard white background. I just use black while editing due to sensitive eyes.
submitted by SolaireGarde to resumes [link] [comments]
https://preview.redd.it/li9gtuq96f1d1.png?width=934&format=png&auto=webp&s=7bb82f02a3786099cb692e88417d558951ad1fa2
* I do use a standard white background. I just use black while editing due to sensitive eyes.
2024.05.19 19:35 Tough-Square-4060 Would you stay or leave??
I 24F live in with him 24M and had our first baby last month. Almost 6 years in relationship.
Months before my 1st trimester, he got into his first BPO. I noticed na there's this girl on their team pictures na lagi silang magkatabi. I asked him about it and he said it was only coincidence and they don't even talk to each other but few days after, the girl created a group chat with only 4 of them.
Few weeks after that, we're scrolling on his tiktok likes, the girl's old tiktok video was in it. He said it was his colleagues who borrowed his phone and didn't know that they liked it. They were looking at each and everyone's old videos and photos for 'asaran.
Another week came by and we got into an argument because he will not do household chores unless asked to. He's already like that at their home and I understand that it's hard to break what you're used to. However, I just couldn't hold back myself from saying harsh things to him due to stress. I'm a working student. I barely get sleep. On my free time, instead of taking a rest, I need to do household chores while he has only one job to think about and nothing else. He doesn't have plan on continuing his studies so why not help me on little things? I admit that what I said to him are too personal and it really hurt his pride. His parents house is just next to us so after we fought, he go to his parents and while I'm crying alone I thought of accessing his fb activity history and saw that he viewed the girl's fb a minute ago. We fought and broke things. He said he did it to get back to me from what harsh things I said to him.
The next day he was asking me to eat and I told him not to touch me but he insisted and I was out of my mind and reached out for the blade and cut my wrist. It was not deep but it bled a lot. He called my parents and he told them the reason why we fought. My parents told him to just stay away from the girl.
2 days after the incident, my things are already packed and l'm about to leave and go home to my parents but a shopee order came. It was my pregnancy test. I took a test and it was positive. He was very happy and told his family of the news. On my ultasound, we found out I was already 6 weeks pregnant.
A lot of team celebration and outing went by and he insisted on going even If I'm really mad and crying bcos I didn't want him to go. I've seen a group picture of them again when they were next to each other but the sender unsent it. He told the sender (one of his close friends) not to send the picture on their GC as I will get mad. He said he was there first and was talking to his TM when the girl came. He said it will be rude to leave suddenly.
3 weeks after giving birth to our daughter, I saw his call of duty game history. They were playing with their other workmates. Why couldn't he just said no on the invite for the peace in our home? He said it was just a game and it's not like only two of them were playing. I asked him if he knew I was gonna get mad and he said yes and did it anyway.
They are not friends on fb and no chats on messenger. In my conclusion, he was attracted to the girl bcos it seems like he can't stay away from her. This girl has a boyfriend (on and off from what I gathered on stalking on the girl's socmed) and is touchy with his boy workmate (not my boyf).
It's not really a major reason to leave this relationship especially that we have our baby now. But l'm tired and completely lost my trust in him.
He's a very responsible man. Although he's lazy at household chores sometimes but never failed to serve me food. I can also see that he loves our baby so much. He barely get sleep and never complained from taking care of our newborn. I break things when I'm mad, I hurt him physically but he never do anything back to me. I don't talk to him on messenger anymore but he's consistent on updating me from the moment he arrived at work, break time, lunch time, and once out and about to go home.
I know I don't have solid proof of cheating or to any of my 'hinala. But I can't stop questioning everything.
submitted by Tough-Square-4060 to adviceph [link] [comments]
Months before my 1st trimester, he got into his first BPO. I noticed na there's this girl on their team pictures na lagi silang magkatabi. I asked him about it and he said it was only coincidence and they don't even talk to each other but few days after, the girl created a group chat with only 4 of them.
Few weeks after that, we're scrolling on his tiktok likes, the girl's old tiktok video was in it. He said it was his colleagues who borrowed his phone and didn't know that they liked it. They were looking at each and everyone's old videos and photos for 'asaran.
Another week came by and we got into an argument because he will not do household chores unless asked to. He's already like that at their home and I understand that it's hard to break what you're used to. However, I just couldn't hold back myself from saying harsh things to him due to stress. I'm a working student. I barely get sleep. On my free time, instead of taking a rest, I need to do household chores while he has only one job to think about and nothing else. He doesn't have plan on continuing his studies so why not help me on little things? I admit that what I said to him are too personal and it really hurt his pride. His parents house is just next to us so after we fought, he go to his parents and while I'm crying alone I thought of accessing his fb activity history and saw that he viewed the girl's fb a minute ago. We fought and broke things. He said he did it to get back to me from what harsh things I said to him.
The next day he was asking me to eat and I told him not to touch me but he insisted and I was out of my mind and reached out for the blade and cut my wrist. It was not deep but it bled a lot. He called my parents and he told them the reason why we fought. My parents told him to just stay away from the girl.
2 days after the incident, my things are already packed and l'm about to leave and go home to my parents but a shopee order came. It was my pregnancy test. I took a test and it was positive. He was very happy and told his family of the news. On my ultasound, we found out I was already 6 weeks pregnant.
A lot of team celebration and outing went by and he insisted on going even If I'm really mad and crying bcos I didn't want him to go. I've seen a group picture of them again when they were next to each other but the sender unsent it. He told the sender (one of his close friends) not to send the picture on their GC as I will get mad. He said he was there first and was talking to his TM when the girl came. He said it will be rude to leave suddenly.
3 weeks after giving birth to our daughter, I saw his call of duty game history. They were playing with their other workmates. Why couldn't he just said no on the invite for the peace in our home? He said it was just a game and it's not like only two of them were playing. I asked him if he knew I was gonna get mad and he said yes and did it anyway.
They are not friends on fb and no chats on messenger. In my conclusion, he was attracted to the girl bcos it seems like he can't stay away from her. This girl has a boyfriend (on and off from what I gathered on stalking on the girl's socmed) and is touchy with his boy workmate (not my boyf).
It's not really a major reason to leave this relationship especially that we have our baby now. But l'm tired and completely lost my trust in him.
He's a very responsible man. Although he's lazy at household chores sometimes but never failed to serve me food. I can also see that he loves our baby so much. He barely get sleep and never complained from taking care of our newborn. I break things when I'm mad, I hurt him physically but he never do anything back to me. I don't talk to him on messenger anymore but he's consistent on updating me from the moment he arrived at work, break time, lunch time, and once out and about to go home.
I know I don't have solid proof of cheating or to any of my 'hinala. But I can't stop questioning everything.
2024.05.19 19:34 QuillofNumenor 43 [M4F] #KY #US #Anywhere - Chubby, sensitive nerd seeking same
I'm a divorced guy, starting the next chapter in my life, and I'm seeking my forever person. Pics in my profile. About me:
submitted by QuillofNumenor to cf4cf [link] [comments]
- I do not want kids. No compromise on this. I wish to live childfree and am seeking a partner who desires the same.
- I am seeking monogamy only. I am a leftist, progressive socialist. I am strongly pro-LGBTQIA+. BLM. ACAB.
- I'm an atheist, humanist, secularist and am staunchly pro-science. I want to believe as many true things and as few false things as I can.
- I’m a big nerd. I love books, comics, movies, games of all sorts, including video and tabletop. I love pop culture, especially from decades past. I quote a lot of movies and shows. I collect toys. I’m a big kid at heart.
- I am strongly interested in and a proponent of mental health.
- I’m a dog lover. I have two now and will likely always have dogs in my life, as I see them as an essential part of my happiness. Unfortunately, I am highly allergic to cats.
- I’m mildly autistic; I can pass pretty easily. I’m sensitive and introverted and have a limited amount of spoons to spend on social stuff. I’m a homebody, and like my peace and quiet, though I’m happy to share that with a like-minded person.
- I am honest, direct, forthright, and have a strong ethical compass. I am very much in touch with my emotions. I strive never to fall into the traps of toxic masculinity. I value the truth, and am a proponent of clear, open communication in a relationship.
- My love languages are acts of service, touch, and words of affirmation.
- I am sober; I don't drink, smoke, or do drugs.
- I’m in Kentucky right now but I’m pretty eager to move elsewhere eventually. My job is remote so I can go pretty much where I want. So I’m down for an LDR, at first. But please be willing/able to travel if you’re far away.
- Some people really care about height; I'm tall, 6'4".
- Lastly, I am fat. I’m not looking to change that right now. Loving myself as I am. I’m also into fat liberation, and ending the stigma against large bodies. I believe everyone deserves to be treated with dignity and respect, and to find love and sex, regardless of their size.
- You know what you are looking for and are not interested in games. You're seeking a serious relationship that will last. You are honest, authentic, grounded, and seeking the same sort of things I am. You are able to be vulnerable and are good at communicating.
- You are neurodivergent or comfortable with those who are.
- You're a homebody, a couch potato, someone who likes staying in and watching a show together rather than going on a lot of outdoor adventures.
- You are non-religious.
- You are politically left-leaning.
- You are childfree.
- You're sober and a non-smoker.
- You're geeky, nerdy, crafty, having special interests, hobbies, and obsessions you're eager to share.
- You are sex-positive, body-positive, and kink-friendly.
- You are emotionally intelligent, emotionally available, and good at communicating. You are stable in your life enough to pursue a long-term and likely long-distance relationship.
- You are plus-size, a BBW, thick, curvy, or whatever term suits you best; I like big girls.
2024.05.19 19:33 QuillofNumenor 43 [M4F] #KY #US #Anywhere - Chubby, sensitive geek seeking same
I'm a divorced guy, starting the next chapter in my life, and I'm seeking my forever person. Pics in my profile. About me:
submitted by QuillofNumenor to ForeverAloneDating [link] [comments]
- I do not want kids. No compromise on this. I wish to live childfree and am seeking a partner who desires the same.
- I am seeking monogamy only. I am a leftist, progressive socialist. I am strongly pro-LGBTQIA+. BLM. ACAB.
- I'm an atheist, humanist, secularist and am staunchly pro-science. I want to believe as many true things and as few false things as I can.
- I’m a big nerd. I love books, comics, movies, games of all sorts, including video and tabletop. I love pop culture, especially from decades past. I quote a lot of movies and shows. I collect toys. I’m a big kid at heart.
- I am strongly interested in and a proponent of mental health.
- I’m a dog lover. I have two now and will likely always have dogs in my life, as I see them as an essential part of my happiness. Unfortunately, I am highly allergic to cats.
- I’m mildly autistic; I can pass pretty easily. I’m sensitive and introverted and have a limited amount of spoons to spend on social stuff. I’m a homebody, and like my peace and quiet, though I’m happy to share that with a like-minded person.
- I am honest, direct, forthright, and have a strong ethical compass. I am very much in touch with my emotions. I strive never to fall into the traps of toxic masculinity. I value the truth, and am a proponent of clear, open communication in a relationship.
- My love languages are acts of service, touch, and words of affirmation.
- I am sober; I don't drink, smoke, or do drugs.
- I’m in Kentucky right now but I’m pretty eager to move elsewhere eventually. My job is remote so I can go pretty much where I want. So I’m down for an LDR, at first. But please be willing/able to travel if you’re far away.
- Some people really care about height; I'm tall, 6'4".
- Lastly, I am fat. I’m not looking to change that right now. Loving myself as I am. I’m also into fat liberation, and ending the stigma against large bodies. I believe everyone deserves to be treated with dignity and respect, and to find love and sex, regardless of their size.
- You know what you are looking for and are not interested in games. You're seeking a serious relationship that will last. You are honest, authentic, grounded, and seeking the same sort of things I am. You are able to be vulnerable and are good at communicating.
- You are neurodivergent or comfortable with those who are.
- You're a homebody, a couch potato, someone who likes staying in and watching a show together rather than going on a lot of outdoor adventures.
- You are non-religious.
- You are politically left-leaning.
- You are childfree.
- You're sober and a non-smoker.
- You're geeky, nerdy, crafty, having special interests, hobbies, and obsessions you're eager to share.
- You are sex-positive & body-positive.
- You are emotionally intelligent, emotionally available, and good at communicating. You are stable in your life enough to pursue a long-term and likely long-distance relationship.
- You are plus-size, a BBW, thick, curvy, or whatever term suits you best; I like big girls.
2024.05.19 19:31 QuillofNumenor 43 [M4F] #KY #US #Anywhere - Chubby, sensitive geek seeking same
I'm a divorced guy, starting the next chapter in my life, and I'm seeking my forever person. Pics in my profile. About me:
submitted by QuillofNumenor to asexualdating [link] [comments]
- I identify as aegosexual. I have a sex drive and experience attraction, and like physical touch, but less of a fan of actual sexual intercourse.
- I do not want kids. No compromise on this. I wish to live childfree and am seeking a partner who desires the same.
- I am seeking monogamy only.
- I am a leftist, progressive socialist. I am strongly pro-LGBTQIA+. BLM. ACAB.
- I'm an atheist, humanist, secularist and am staunchly pro-science. I want to believe as many true things and as few false things as I can.
- I’m a big nerd. I love books, comics, movies, games of all sorts, including video and tabletop. I love pop culture, especially from decades past. I quote a lot of movies and shows. I collect toys. I’m a big kid at heart.
- I am strongly interested in and a proponent of mental health.
- I’m a dog lover. I have two now and will likely always have dogs in my life, as I see them as an essential part of my happiness. Unfortunately, I am highly allergic to cats.
- I’m mildly autistic; I can pass pretty easily. I’m sensitive and introverted and have a limited amount of spoons to spend on social stuff. I’m a homebody, and like my peace and quiet, though I’m happy to share that with a like-minded person.
- I am honest, direct, forthright, and have a strong ethical compass. I am very much in touch with my emotions. I strive never to fall into the traps of toxic masculinity. I value the truth, and am a proponent of clear, open communication in a relationship.
- My love languages are acts of service, touch, and words of affirmation.
- I am sober; I don't drink, smoke, or do drugs.
- I’m in Kentucky right now but I’m pretty eager to move elsewhere eventually. My job is remote so I can go pretty much where I want. So I’m down for an LDR, at first. But please be willing/able to travel if you’re far away.
- Some people really care about height; I'm tall, 6'4".
- Lastly, I am fat. I’m not looking to change that right now. Loving myself as I am. I’m also into fat liberation, and ending the stigma against large bodies. I believe everyone deserves to be treated with dignity and respect, and to find love and sex, regardless of their size.
- You know what you are looking for and are not interested in games. You're seeking a serious relationship that will last. You are honest, authentic, grounded, and seeking the same sort of things I am. You are able to be vulnerable and are good at communicating.
- You are neurodivergent or comfortable with those who are.
- You're a homebody, a couch potato, someone who likes staying in and watching a show together rather than going on a lot of outdoor adventures.
- You are non-religious.
- You are politically left-leaning.
- You are childfree.
- You're sober and a non-smoker.
- You're geeky, nerdy, crafty, having special interests, hobbies, and obsessions you're eager to share.
- You are sex-positive, body-positive, and kink-friendly.
- You are emotionally intelligent, emotionally available, and good at communicating. You are stable in your life enough to pursue a long-term and likely long-distance relationship.
- You are plus-size, a BBW, thick, curvy, or whatever term suits you best; I like big girls.
2024.05.19 19:29 Craig-Paxton The Landing Sight for Lehi’s Party Discovered
In a fascinating study, evidenced for a possible landing sight for Lehi in America has been discovered within easy travel distance to Palmyra, NY. If substantiated, it could add weight to an Atlantic migration, the controversial Solutrean Hypothesis, in addition to the traditional Siberian route. https://www.washingtonpost.com/science/2024/05/19/first-americans-chesapeake-parsons-island/
The link is behind a pay wall. Here’s the article
PARSONS ISLAND, Md. — With the Chesapeake Bay sloshing at his knee-high boots, Darrin Lowery stood back and squinted at a 10-foot-tall bluff rising above a narrow strip of beach. To the untrained eye, this wall of sandy sediment is the unremarkable edge of a modest island southeast of the Bay Bridge. To Lowery, a coastal geologist, its crumbling layers put the island at the center of one of the most contentious battles in archaeology: when and how humans first made their way into the Americas. The story of the first Americans has long been a matter of public and scientific fascination, undergirded at times by vicious disagreements. The timeline of when people arrived has shifted earlier in grudging steps over the past century, and scientists today mostly agree people were in the Americas at least 15,000 years ago. Story continues below advertisement
Lowery’s site and others like it could revise the story again, pushing back the timeline earlier than most experts thought possible. In total, Lowery and a motley crew of collaborators have discovered 286 artifacts from the site on the island’s southwestern edge. The oldest, they reported, was embedded with charcoal dated to more than 22,000 years ago, a time when much of the continent would have been covered in ice sheets. If Lowery is right, Parsons Island could rewrite American prehistory, opening up a host of new puzzles: How did those people get here? How many waves of early migration were there? And are these mysterious people the ancestors of Native Americans?
Casts of tools found at Parsons Island are seen on display. Lowery and his team have unearthed 286 artifacts from the site so far. (Michael Robinson Chávez/The Washington Post) New claims of sites dated this far back face a wall of skepticism, rooted in legitimate scientific scrutiny and in the threat they pose to long-entrenched views. To complicate matters, Lowery — who has been affiliated with the Smithsonian but does much of his work independently — presented the results of his study of Parsons Island in a 260-page manuscript posted online rather than in a traditional peer-reviewed journal. The peer-review process is designed to help validate scientific claims, but Lowery argues that in archaeology it often leads to a circle-the-wagon mentality, allowing scientists to wave away evidence that doesn’t support the dominant paradigm. He says he isn’t seeking formal publishing routes because “life’s too short,” comparing this aspect of academic science to “the dumbest game I’ve ever played.”
The island is also a challenging site to study for a variety of reasons — most poignantly because it is rapidly eroding as the land subsides and sea level rises. The spot where the artifacts were found is now covered by the choppy waters of the bay. “The visit reinforced my will to invest my time into this time period, because it’s a very fragile record,” said Sebastien Lacombe, an archaeologist at Binghamton University, who visited the island in 2017. “It’s at risk of disappearing, and we’re at risk of [allowing] these sites and artifacts to lose their meaning forever.” ‘A weirdo kid’
Darrin Lowery walks a beach on Parsons Island. Most of the artifacts were excavated by erosion, discovered on the beach after they had already fallen out of the bluff. (Michael Robinson Chávez/The Washington Post) Lowery began exploring the Chesapeake shoreline as a child, wandering his backyard on Tilghman Island, about 15 miles southwest from Parsons Island. In 1977, 9-year-old Lowery picked up a distinctive fluted stone projectile point. A few years later, he saw something similar on a documentary on public television, in which a Smithsonian archaeologist explained it was a Clovis point, a relic of what most people then believed were the first Americans. For the last half of the 20th century, the peopling of the Americas followed a tidy narrative. Humans traveled from Siberia across a land bridge that connected Asia and North America during the last Ice Age, when sea levels dropped. They then migrated southward around 13,000 years ago, when the ice sheets covering the continent retreated and exposed a previously impassable inland route. These people — named after a site in Clovis, N.M. — left behind distinctive, fluted stone points that have since been found scattered across North America. Story continues below advertisement
Lowery turned to his dad and said, “I found one of those.” He found more by walking the shoreline every day. Lowery made discoveries as he meandered, and he began to understand how seasonal patterns, sediment movement, wind and waves could unearth ancient treasures. “I was a weirdo kid,” he recalled. He trained as a geologist, and it was geology that initially attracted Lowery to study Parsons Island. In 2010, he published an article in Quaternary Science Reviews describing layers of windblown silt deposited between 13,000 and 41,000 years ago at Miles Point in eastern Maryland. But the geological record is like reading the CliffsNotes version of a book, and he was frustrated by an “unconformity” in the sediment layers where thousands of years were missing, like someone had ripped out those chapters.
Parsons Island is rapidly eroding. The archaeological site is now covered by the Chesapeake Bay. (Michael Robinson Chávez/The Washington Post) Lowery and a colleague were prowling around in a whaler, looking for a spot that might fill in the blanks, when they spotted a black streak of sediment rising up out of the bay. They pulled up to Parsons Island and thought they had found “the Rosetta stone” to decode the geology. Parsons is a 78-acre island less than a mile offshore that is privately owned by the Corckran family, which uses it as a family retreat. With the Corckrans’ permission, Lowery and colleagues began to visit regularly. The bluff layers preserved a remarkably intact geologic timeline going back more than 40,000 years. Then, one morning in August 2013, the team discovered a leaf-shaped prehistoric stone tool jutting out of this crumbling wall. They knew from the work they’d already done that it was probably quite old. Story continues below advertisement
On a recent visit to the island, geoarchaeologist Daniel Wagner demonstrated why. He stepped back to scan the cliff, then tapped a narrow spade into a light tan sediment layer just above his head. That, he said, is the geologic “chapter” where they’d expect to find Clovis artifacts. Lower layers were set down before Clovis. The palm-size tool Lowery and his colleague found came out of the dark sediment layer near their knees. The scientists used two methods to date the sediment around the artifact, both showing it was more than 20,000 years old. They scoured the beach on 93 visits and conducted a formal, top-down excavation, collecting the 286 artifacts. They sent out sediment to labs that specialize in studying ancient pollen and microfossils called phytoliths to help reconstruct the ecosystem at the time. Back then, this region wouldn’t have been a coastline. The sediment the tools are embedded in dates to the “last glacial maximum” — the scientific term for the most recent coldest period of the Ice Age. In the final analysis, Lowery thinks the artifacts may have been transported downslope before they were buried, making them between 15,000 and 20,500 years old. “This was a swale, where water was collecting,” Lowery said, envisioning the ancient landscape. “You’ve got a dune. It’s got sedges and small trees on it that are windblown and all contorted, and then behind it you’ve got a little pond.” That pond may have attracted prehistoric bison, musk ox and llamas, whose fossilized molars he’s found scattered on the island shore. And it may have been what attracted the mysterious people who left behind a cache of stone tools. A story in flux
Parsons Island is seen from nearby Kent Island in the Chesapeake Bay. (Michael Robinson Chávez/The Washington Post) Parsons Island is the latest addition to a growing list of what are called pre-Clovis sites. But while the long-held “Clovis First” theory has crumbled over the past three decades, that has only deepened the debate about how much earlier the first Americans arrived. Claims of early sites present a challenge on two fronts. The first is technical: Dating a site convincingly can be difficult, depending on the context. Sediments can shift or be disturbed. What at first look like artifacts can turn out to be “geofacts,” created not by humans but by natural processes or animals. As a result, many pre-Clovis sites “enjoy a Warhol-esque 15 minutes of fame, and then they disappear” because of real problems with the geology or the methods, said archaeologist James Adovasio. In 1973, he began excavating Meadowcroft Rockshelter in Pennsylvania, which dated back 16,000 years. It was instantly mired in controversy, and the site still has its critics today. The second challenge reflects the culture of science. For a long time, people who claimed to find pre-Clovis sites were swimming upstream against deeply entrenched thinking. Tom Dillehay, an archaeologist at Vanderbilt University, began working on a site in southern Chile called Monte Verde in 1977, which was dated to 14,500 years ago. He recalled a group of researchers he calls the “Clovis police,” scientific gatekeepers who summarily rejected any pre-Clovis sites, sometimes for valid reasons and sometimes as a knee-jerk reaction. Monte Verde began to change that. In 1997, a group of respected archaeologists visited the site and declared it authentic. “It took about 25 to 30 years for Monte Verde to be accepted,” Dillehay said. “We went through hell.”
Holly, a German shorthaired pointer, runs across a bluff top on Parsons Island. (Michael Robinson Chávez/The Washington Post) Lowery says he isn’t interested in running that gantlet. He noted that he drew on multiple labs and methods for dating the Parsons Island artifacts in an effort to ensure that any one extremely old date isn’t a fluke. He’s also invited other researchers in to visit and study the site. That approach irritates some scientists. David Meltzer, an archaeologist at Southern Methodist University, said in an email that he would not discuss Lowery’s claims “until they go through the wringer of peer review and get published.” Others like Stuart Fiedel, an independent archaeologist based in western Massachusetts who has been skeptical of other sites, say the site should not fly under the radar just because of Lowery’s unconventional process. Story continues below advertisement
“There are people I know in the field who will not pay any attention to it, because it has not been peer-reviewed, which I think is kind of sticking your head in the sand,” Fiedel said. “It’s there. We can’t act as [if] nothing’s been found there.” Share this article Share
A bigger issue may be the site’s rapid erosion. Most of the artifacts were found after they’d fallen out of the bluff, which means their place in the geologic timeline is obscured. Nine artifacts were found in place, and only three were able to be dated using charcoal flecks found next to them. Steven Forman, a geoscientist at Baylor University, helped date the sediment layers at Parsons Island, corroborating findings from another lab. He said that it’s hard to find the artifacts in the kind of bulletproof geological context needed to support extraordinary claims. “The case is not as tight as we like to see it with other sites,” Forman said. Michael Waters, an archaeologist at Texas A&M University who has worked on pre-Clovis sites and excavated at Parsons Island, thinks he probably got there too late, when most of the artifacts had already been eroded out. Still, he pays someone to monitor the bank profile on a regular basis, because he’s ready to jump on a plane if they see something in place. “Too bad we didn’t get there four to five years sooner,” Waters said. Enter ancient DNA
An ancient bovine tooth is among the fossils found so far on Parsons Island. (Michael Robinson Chávez/The Washington Post) Parsons Island isn’t the only site that could dramatically push back human arrival in the Americas. Last fall, a study published in the journal Science described fossilized human footprints discovered at White Sands National Park in New Mexico that have been dated to between 21,000 and 23,000 years ago. That stunning finding suggests people were here during the Ice Age — much earlier than most experts thought possible if the first humans arrived via the Bering land bridge and inland corridor. The dates at White Sands are still being disputed because of questions about the methods. But the timeline collides head-on with another exciting line of evidence: studies of ancient DNA. By examining genetic material preserved in bones and teeth and comparing those samples to modern populations, scientists have been able to track when populations mingled and became isolated from one another, offering a new window into patterns of human migration. Story continues below advertisement
In broad strokes, they’ve found that the ancestors of Native Americans split from ancient Siberian populations no earlier than 23,000 years ago. The studies can’t say where such splits took place, but many scientists interpret genetic evidence to mean that the ancestors of modern people weren’t in the Americas until much later. Genetic studies suggest that Native American ancestors traveled into what is now the United States between 17,500 and 14,600 years ago. Joe Watkins, a senior consultant for Archaeological and Cultural Education Consultants in Tucson and a Choctaw tribal member, said that he sees a few problems with using the still-evolving DNA evidence to decide how ancient sites are related to modern-day people. “The reality is genetics does not equal culture,” Watkins said. He also argued that there are still too few samples of ancient DNA in the Americas to be sure they capture the whole story. “Trying to create population histories based on 10 people, if you will, is a little bit of a scientific conundrum,” Watkins said. It could be that additional ancient genomes will one day help fill in the blanks. Another possibility is that earlier sites could represent small, isolated groups of people who didn’t contribute to the ancestry of living Native Americans.
A tree-lined path leads to a beach on Parsons Island. (Michael Robinson Chávez/The Washington Post) “Let’s suppose you have a successful population colonizing an area, and then one day, 15 males go out and get eaten by a short-faced bear,” Lowery said. “You reduce the genetic diversity, and bada boom, bada bing, game over.” All this explodes the neat picture of one population migrating into the Americas as ice sheets retreated, hunting big animals like mammoths and giant sloths, driving them into extinction as they went. If there were small groups making their way into the New World, with different stone tool technologies, and far earlier than previously believed, how did they get here? People could have migrated along the coast by boat, following a “kelp highway.” It’s also possible the ice sheet was not as impenetrable as experts have long thought. Lowery’s longtime collaborator, Dennis Stanford, proposed that people crossed the Atlantic Ocean in what is known as the Solutrean Hypothesis, though that idea has been rejected by many archaeologists. To resolve the question, scientists need to keep looking for more evidence. Archaeology is a historical science, and unlike chemistry or biomedicine, where researchers can perform the same experiment over and over again to see if they get the same results, consensus is built by argument, counterargument and new evidence. To a certain extent, older ideas and prejudices also fall away as new people enter the field, said James Feathers, who performed dating on samples from Parsons Island before he retired from the University of Washington. “Sometimes you have to wait for people to die off,” Feathers said.
Alex Corckran, whose family owns Parsons Island, stands on a beach on the southern side of the island. (Michael Robinson Chávez/The Washington Post) Lowery is determined to keep motoring around the Chesapeake, researching the ephemeral landscape that he loves and that may contain clues about human prehistory. He acknowledges that the sites, perhaps a little bit like him, are “persnickety” but that shouldn’t deter interest in them. Instead, it should spur more. He noted that if a pod of silverfish was found gnawing on documents in the National Archives, people would be galvanized to act. “I view it as my swan song,” Lowery said, “to say you can learn a lot from [an] eroding site if you do a little bit of effort and look at it systematically.”
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By Carolyn Y. Johnson Carolyn Johnson is a science reporter. She previously covered the business of health and the affordability of health care to consumers. Twitter MORE FROM THE POST
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The link is behind a pay wall. Here’s the article
PARSONS ISLAND, Md. — With the Chesapeake Bay sloshing at his knee-high boots, Darrin Lowery stood back and squinted at a 10-foot-tall bluff rising above a narrow strip of beach. To the untrained eye, this wall of sandy sediment is the unremarkable edge of a modest island southeast of the Bay Bridge. To Lowery, a coastal geologist, its crumbling layers put the island at the center of one of the most contentious battles in archaeology: when and how humans first made their way into the Americas. The story of the first Americans has long been a matter of public and scientific fascination, undergirded at times by vicious disagreements. The timeline of when people arrived has shifted earlier in grudging steps over the past century, and scientists today mostly agree people were in the Americas at least 15,000 years ago. Story continues below advertisement
Lowery’s site and others like it could revise the story again, pushing back the timeline earlier than most experts thought possible. In total, Lowery and a motley crew of collaborators have discovered 286 artifacts from the site on the island’s southwestern edge. The oldest, they reported, was embedded with charcoal dated to more than 22,000 years ago, a time when much of the continent would have been covered in ice sheets. If Lowery is right, Parsons Island could rewrite American prehistory, opening up a host of new puzzles: How did those people get here? How many waves of early migration were there? And are these mysterious people the ancestors of Native Americans?
Casts of tools found at Parsons Island are seen on display. Lowery and his team have unearthed 286 artifacts from the site so far. (Michael Robinson Chávez/The Washington Post) New claims of sites dated this far back face a wall of skepticism, rooted in legitimate scientific scrutiny and in the threat they pose to long-entrenched views. To complicate matters, Lowery — who has been affiliated with the Smithsonian but does much of his work independently — presented the results of his study of Parsons Island in a 260-page manuscript posted online rather than in a traditional peer-reviewed journal. The peer-review process is designed to help validate scientific claims, but Lowery argues that in archaeology it often leads to a circle-the-wagon mentality, allowing scientists to wave away evidence that doesn’t support the dominant paradigm. He says he isn’t seeking formal publishing routes because “life’s too short,” comparing this aspect of academic science to “the dumbest game I’ve ever played.”
The island is also a challenging site to study for a variety of reasons — most poignantly because it is rapidly eroding as the land subsides and sea level rises. The spot where the artifacts were found is now covered by the choppy waters of the bay. “The visit reinforced my will to invest my time into this time period, because it’s a very fragile record,” said Sebastien Lacombe, an archaeologist at Binghamton University, who visited the island in 2017. “It’s at risk of disappearing, and we’re at risk of [allowing] these sites and artifacts to lose their meaning forever.” ‘A weirdo kid’
Darrin Lowery walks a beach on Parsons Island. Most of the artifacts were excavated by erosion, discovered on the beach after they had already fallen out of the bluff. (Michael Robinson Chávez/The Washington Post) Lowery began exploring the Chesapeake shoreline as a child, wandering his backyard on Tilghman Island, about 15 miles southwest from Parsons Island. In 1977, 9-year-old Lowery picked up a distinctive fluted stone projectile point. A few years later, he saw something similar on a documentary on public television, in which a Smithsonian archaeologist explained it was a Clovis point, a relic of what most people then believed were the first Americans. For the last half of the 20th century, the peopling of the Americas followed a tidy narrative. Humans traveled from Siberia across a land bridge that connected Asia and North America during the last Ice Age, when sea levels dropped. They then migrated southward around 13,000 years ago, when the ice sheets covering the continent retreated and exposed a previously impassable inland route. These people — named after a site in Clovis, N.M. — left behind distinctive, fluted stone points that have since been found scattered across North America. Story continues below advertisement
Lowery turned to his dad and said, “I found one of those.” He found more by walking the shoreline every day. Lowery made discoveries as he meandered, and he began to understand how seasonal patterns, sediment movement, wind and waves could unearth ancient treasures. “I was a weirdo kid,” he recalled. He trained as a geologist, and it was geology that initially attracted Lowery to study Parsons Island. In 2010, he published an article in Quaternary Science Reviews describing layers of windblown silt deposited between 13,000 and 41,000 years ago at Miles Point in eastern Maryland. But the geological record is like reading the CliffsNotes version of a book, and he was frustrated by an “unconformity” in the sediment layers where thousands of years were missing, like someone had ripped out those chapters.
Parsons Island is rapidly eroding. The archaeological site is now covered by the Chesapeake Bay. (Michael Robinson Chávez/The Washington Post) Lowery and a colleague were prowling around in a whaler, looking for a spot that might fill in the blanks, when they spotted a black streak of sediment rising up out of the bay. They pulled up to Parsons Island and thought they had found “the Rosetta stone” to decode the geology. Parsons is a 78-acre island less than a mile offshore that is privately owned by the Corckran family, which uses it as a family retreat. With the Corckrans’ permission, Lowery and colleagues began to visit regularly. The bluff layers preserved a remarkably intact geologic timeline going back more than 40,000 years. Then, one morning in August 2013, the team discovered a leaf-shaped prehistoric stone tool jutting out of this crumbling wall. They knew from the work they’d already done that it was probably quite old. Story continues below advertisement
On a recent visit to the island, geoarchaeologist Daniel Wagner demonstrated why. He stepped back to scan the cliff, then tapped a narrow spade into a light tan sediment layer just above his head. That, he said, is the geologic “chapter” where they’d expect to find Clovis artifacts. Lower layers were set down before Clovis. The palm-size tool Lowery and his colleague found came out of the dark sediment layer near their knees. The scientists used two methods to date the sediment around the artifact, both showing it was more than 20,000 years old. They scoured the beach on 93 visits and conducted a formal, top-down excavation, collecting the 286 artifacts. They sent out sediment to labs that specialize in studying ancient pollen and microfossils called phytoliths to help reconstruct the ecosystem at the time. Back then, this region wouldn’t have been a coastline. The sediment the tools are embedded in dates to the “last glacial maximum” — the scientific term for the most recent coldest period of the Ice Age. In the final analysis, Lowery thinks the artifacts may have been transported downslope before they were buried, making them between 15,000 and 20,500 years old. “This was a swale, where water was collecting,” Lowery said, envisioning the ancient landscape. “You’ve got a dune. It’s got sedges and small trees on it that are windblown and all contorted, and then behind it you’ve got a little pond.” That pond may have attracted prehistoric bison, musk ox and llamas, whose fossilized molars he’s found scattered on the island shore. And it may have been what attracted the mysterious people who left behind a cache of stone tools. A story in flux
Parsons Island is seen from nearby Kent Island in the Chesapeake Bay. (Michael Robinson Chávez/The Washington Post) Parsons Island is the latest addition to a growing list of what are called pre-Clovis sites. But while the long-held “Clovis First” theory has crumbled over the past three decades, that has only deepened the debate about how much earlier the first Americans arrived. Claims of early sites present a challenge on two fronts. The first is technical: Dating a site convincingly can be difficult, depending on the context. Sediments can shift or be disturbed. What at first look like artifacts can turn out to be “geofacts,” created not by humans but by natural processes or animals. As a result, many pre-Clovis sites “enjoy a Warhol-esque 15 minutes of fame, and then they disappear” because of real problems with the geology or the methods, said archaeologist James Adovasio. In 1973, he began excavating Meadowcroft Rockshelter in Pennsylvania, which dated back 16,000 years. It was instantly mired in controversy, and the site still has its critics today. The second challenge reflects the culture of science. For a long time, people who claimed to find pre-Clovis sites were swimming upstream against deeply entrenched thinking. Tom Dillehay, an archaeologist at Vanderbilt University, began working on a site in southern Chile called Monte Verde in 1977, which was dated to 14,500 years ago. He recalled a group of researchers he calls the “Clovis police,” scientific gatekeepers who summarily rejected any pre-Clovis sites, sometimes for valid reasons and sometimes as a knee-jerk reaction. Monte Verde began to change that. In 1997, a group of respected archaeologists visited the site and declared it authentic. “It took about 25 to 30 years for Monte Verde to be accepted,” Dillehay said. “We went through hell.”
Holly, a German shorthaired pointer, runs across a bluff top on Parsons Island. (Michael Robinson Chávez/The Washington Post) Lowery says he isn’t interested in running that gantlet. He noted that he drew on multiple labs and methods for dating the Parsons Island artifacts in an effort to ensure that any one extremely old date isn’t a fluke. He’s also invited other researchers in to visit and study the site. That approach irritates some scientists. David Meltzer, an archaeologist at Southern Methodist University, said in an email that he would not discuss Lowery’s claims “until they go through the wringer of peer review and get published.” Others like Stuart Fiedel, an independent archaeologist based in western Massachusetts who has been skeptical of other sites, say the site should not fly under the radar just because of Lowery’s unconventional process. Story continues below advertisement
“There are people I know in the field who will not pay any attention to it, because it has not been peer-reviewed, which I think is kind of sticking your head in the sand,” Fiedel said. “It’s there. We can’t act as [if] nothing’s been found there.” Share this article Share
A bigger issue may be the site’s rapid erosion. Most of the artifacts were found after they’d fallen out of the bluff, which means their place in the geologic timeline is obscured. Nine artifacts were found in place, and only three were able to be dated using charcoal flecks found next to them. Steven Forman, a geoscientist at Baylor University, helped date the sediment layers at Parsons Island, corroborating findings from another lab. He said that it’s hard to find the artifacts in the kind of bulletproof geological context needed to support extraordinary claims. “The case is not as tight as we like to see it with other sites,” Forman said. Michael Waters, an archaeologist at Texas A&M University who has worked on pre-Clovis sites and excavated at Parsons Island, thinks he probably got there too late, when most of the artifacts had already been eroded out. Still, he pays someone to monitor the bank profile on a regular basis, because he’s ready to jump on a plane if they see something in place. “Too bad we didn’t get there four to five years sooner,” Waters said. Enter ancient DNA
An ancient bovine tooth is among the fossils found so far on Parsons Island. (Michael Robinson Chávez/The Washington Post) Parsons Island isn’t the only site that could dramatically push back human arrival in the Americas. Last fall, a study published in the journal Science described fossilized human footprints discovered at White Sands National Park in New Mexico that have been dated to between 21,000 and 23,000 years ago. That stunning finding suggests people were here during the Ice Age — much earlier than most experts thought possible if the first humans arrived via the Bering land bridge and inland corridor. The dates at White Sands are still being disputed because of questions about the methods. But the timeline collides head-on with another exciting line of evidence: studies of ancient DNA. By examining genetic material preserved in bones and teeth and comparing those samples to modern populations, scientists have been able to track when populations mingled and became isolated from one another, offering a new window into patterns of human migration. Story continues below advertisement
In broad strokes, they’ve found that the ancestors of Native Americans split from ancient Siberian populations no earlier than 23,000 years ago. The studies can’t say where such splits took place, but many scientists interpret genetic evidence to mean that the ancestors of modern people weren’t in the Americas until much later. Genetic studies suggest that Native American ancestors traveled into what is now the United States between 17,500 and 14,600 years ago. Joe Watkins, a senior consultant for Archaeological and Cultural Education Consultants in Tucson and a Choctaw tribal member, said that he sees a few problems with using the still-evolving DNA evidence to decide how ancient sites are related to modern-day people. “The reality is genetics does not equal culture,” Watkins said. He also argued that there are still too few samples of ancient DNA in the Americas to be sure they capture the whole story. “Trying to create population histories based on 10 people, if you will, is a little bit of a scientific conundrum,” Watkins said. It could be that additional ancient genomes will one day help fill in the blanks. Another possibility is that earlier sites could represent small, isolated groups of people who didn’t contribute to the ancestry of living Native Americans.
A tree-lined path leads to a beach on Parsons Island. (Michael Robinson Chávez/The Washington Post) “Let’s suppose you have a successful population colonizing an area, and then one day, 15 males go out and get eaten by a short-faced bear,” Lowery said. “You reduce the genetic diversity, and bada boom, bada bing, game over.” All this explodes the neat picture of one population migrating into the Americas as ice sheets retreated, hunting big animals like mammoths and giant sloths, driving them into extinction as they went. If there were small groups making their way into the New World, with different stone tool technologies, and far earlier than previously believed, how did they get here? People could have migrated along the coast by boat, following a “kelp highway.” It’s also possible the ice sheet was not as impenetrable as experts have long thought. Lowery’s longtime collaborator, Dennis Stanford, proposed that people crossed the Atlantic Ocean in what is known as the Solutrean Hypothesis, though that idea has been rejected by many archaeologists. To resolve the question, scientists need to keep looking for more evidence. Archaeology is a historical science, and unlike chemistry or biomedicine, where researchers can perform the same experiment over and over again to see if they get the same results, consensus is built by argument, counterargument and new evidence. To a certain extent, older ideas and prejudices also fall away as new people enter the field, said James Feathers, who performed dating on samples from Parsons Island before he retired from the University of Washington. “Sometimes you have to wait for people to die off,” Feathers said.
Alex Corckran, whose family owns Parsons Island, stands on a beach on the southern side of the island. (Michael Robinson Chávez/The Washington Post) Lowery is determined to keep motoring around the Chesapeake, researching the ephemeral landscape that he loves and that may contain clues about human prehistory. He acknowledges that the sites, perhaps a little bit like him, are “persnickety” but that shouldn’t deter interest in them. Instead, it should spur more. He noted that if a pod of silverfish was found gnawing on documents in the National Archives, people would be galvanized to act. “I view it as my swan song,” Lowery said, “to say you can learn a lot from [an] eroding site if you do a little bit of effort and look at it systematically.”
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2024.05.19 19:28 ThrowRA-345907 I would be SUPER grateful for some advice on how to play this out with a girl I've been texting for months? I'm so confused! 32m 31f. Sorry for the long post !
I started texting a girl on Tinder . We began talking every day, and our conversations were always very deep. She took a deep interest in my life, which initially made me uncomfortable after a while because she was texting me as if I were her boyfriend. If I told her I had a important meeting so I will be busy tomorrow , be sure she remembered and texted me straight after to ask how it went . She would constantly remind me of how confortable/loved talking to me. She even would bring up marriage and kids which weirded me out and as I had mentioned it made me uncomfortable. I never really engaged in it as I never met her, it was weird and off-putting but I went with the flow and eventually warmed up to it. We would end up texting daily from morning until we went to sleep. This went on since february. I asked her out, and she said she couldn't wait to meet me but couldn't due to breaking her leg and being bed-bound at her parents'. A week before she could walk again and would move back to her place, I had to fly abroad to take care of a property I had. I did not have a time frame but knew I would be 2-3 weeks gone. I managed to sort my business quickly and texted her, saying I have nothing left to do so I might fly back early as I could not wait to get back to take her out on a date. I'm not naive and knew after the date it may never lead anywhere, but after dedicating hours and hours every day to talk to each other, and her expressing how she couldn't stop thinking of me and that she liked me, I had optimistic feelings about it. Her response was not what I expected, and it was along the lines of "don't fly back just to go on a date with me." I'm not sure if I took that the wrong way, but I was tired of being pen pals and wanted to take a risk and have a bit of adventure. Just to make it clear, I have family and a home not far from her anyway. Things got a bit weird after, but we eventually continued to talk like nothing happened. She eventually would get more distant but still initiate conversation to ask how my day was going, etc. I arrived back in the country and told her, "Let's go out; being pen pals has to end." She agreed but sent me a screenshot of her schedule (she had weddings and commitments, and I know she works a very stressful corporate job), which made it impossible to meet up. I said, "Once you finish up with everything, let me take you somewhere special for a date" (I noted her favorite restaurants as she would tell me). Her reply was, "A drink will be fine." I asked her later on if she was still eager, as she expressed her eagerness previously to go on a date. She said yes but followed it with, "Do we have to have this conversation every time I'm busy?" I thought that was cold, but I understand people can have stress, etc. We talked for a few more days, but her replies took longer and longer, so I just left her. Then I decided to text to ask how the wedding was after not speaking for a few days, and she ignored me for 24 hours and wrote: "Hey, the wedding was good. I'm so sorry; I'm just not in a good place right now. I feel overwhelmed. I need space. I hope you understand." I responded with: "I hope you feel better. I fully understand you need space right now. Take the time you need, and I'll be here when you're ready to talk. No pressure. Take it easy." Now, in my mind, she was not interested. "Needs space" means "bye!" But then I get an immediate kind of flirty response: "Thank you so much, big spoon."
What do I make of this? Do I text back? Is there a chance she might still be interested in going on a date? It's been two weeks and a few days. I know we never had a relationship, never met, etc., but I can't help but feel we really connected when we talked. I just don't like the idea that talking since February was a massive waste of time. She does not owe me anything, I understand that but it won't leave my mind and I weirdly feel depressed about the whole situation.
Sorry in advance for this being so long .
submitted by ThrowRA-345907 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
What do I make of this? Do I text back? Is there a chance she might still be interested in going on a date? It's been two weeks and a few days. I know we never had a relationship, never met, etc., but I can't help but feel we really connected when we talked. I just don't like the idea that talking since February was a massive waste of time. She does not owe me anything, I understand that but it won't leave my mind and I weirdly feel depressed about the whole situation.
Sorry in advance for this being so long .
2024.05.19 19:28 Finbarr_Galedeep Here is a list of all the messages I've (30M) received after every first date I've been on in recent weeks and months:
- Hi [Name], I’ve been thinking since we met up the other day. I had a lovely time with you but I just don’t think the chemistry is there. I’m really sorry, thought you deserved honesty xx
- it was nice to meet you [Name], but I don’t think I really felt a connection. All the best with everything though!
- Thanks for coming all the way down to [place]! Not sure what you’re looking for on the apps - don’t know that there was a romantic connection there, but I enjoyed your company - and I’d like to hear more of your one liners!
- Hi [Name]! Thanks for meeting today it was nice talking to you. But I want to be honest I’m not feeling the connection, hope you understand. I wish you all the best
- Sorry for the late reply. I had a lovely time but I'm not sure we had that little extra something. Thanks for a lovely night :)
- Yea got home all safe. Thanks for the chats last night. I'll be frank, you seem like a nice and even keel kind of person but I didn't really feel there was that connection there that I'm looking for.
- Hey [Name], thanks for our cute date yesterday! I didn't quite feel the type of connection I'm looking for, but thanks again for an enjoyable chat and stroll and I hope you have a great week ahead.
EDIT: Note that this doesn't include the many others who simply ghosted after the first date, even after ones which I felt went well
2024.05.19 19:27 Significant-Pea452 Son fired again!
I'm here hoping someone can offer some sound advice. So my son who will be 34 in 2 weeks was fired from his job this past March. He had only been there since May of 2023. Prior to that, he worked foe BCBS for a year and was fired from there also. This will be his 4th job in which he was fired. What makes it even worse is that he either isn't eligible for unemployment because of the nature of his termination or he just is super lazy and won't fill out the weekly certifications. This kid is in a really bad position because he doesn't have a car which means he can only look for WFM jobs which are few and far between. He's currently living with a cousin because we won't allow him to come back home( he lived with us for 4 yrs and it almost drove us crazy). He seems depressed because he's not getting any replies or calls for interviews. I help by sending him jobs that I think he's qualified for but other than that, what more can I do.
Any advice on how to help this young man who I feel has "Failure to launch" syndrome? I'd hate to see him in a homeless shelter
submitted by Significant-Pea452 to jobs [link] [comments]
Any advice on how to help this young man who I feel has "Failure to launch" syndrome? I'd hate to see him in a homeless shelter
2024.05.19 19:26 new_star_887 My (23F) boyfriend (27M) has been lying to me… what do I do?
Hi Reddit, this is my first post on here so a bit nervous lol. Some background information - me (23F) and my boyfriend (27M) have been together 4 years now. We met while I was on a gap year and the last 3 years have been semi long distance - my university is about an hour away, so we see each other every weekend and I come home for holidays so we still spend a fair amount of time together. We text throughout the day while he’s at work, and generally everything is good between us - he’s such a kind, thoughtful guy, treats me so well, wants to see me as much as possible, always replies to messages quickly, etc.
Our only issues have been related to him lying about things. We had 2 instances in particular over the past couple years, I won’t get into too much detail but they involved him lying multiple times about who he was talking to - both times turned out to be a girl (different ones) - however he showed me the messages and they were completely innocent, and they were friends he’d known for years. I was so confused about why he hid this from me as I have never had an issue with him having female friends, and explained my main problem is people lying to me, all I want is honesty from him. Both times he apologised profusely and swore he’d never lie again (which of course he did), and his explanation was that his ex before me was very controlling and wouldn’t allow him to talk to any other girls so he was stuck in the habit (I know this was a very toxic relationship so I kind of accepted this).
However, we’ve been together over 4 years now so he really should understand by now that I won’t get upset about him having female friends, ONLY about him hiding things.
Anyway, flash forward to now. I’m currently nearing the end of my university degree so my workload is massive and my stress levels have been through the roof. Because of this, I haven’t been able to see him quite as often (still very regularly) and the last time I saw him I was quite moody due to the stress. Then a few days ago, we were texting while he was at work. It got to his break time, and usually he texts me all throughout lunch. But this time he didn’t message me until his break had finished. I asked if he’d had a nice lunch, he said he’d gone out to eat by himself. I immediately had a gut feeling that he was lying, but what could I do?
So, he came to see me this weekend and I couldn’t get it out of my head that he’d lied to me - if he did, why? Was he having an affair at work?? Maybe a bit dramatic but i just had a very bad feeling. So i asked him in person whether he did go by himself, he swears he did. I got a bit upset and begged him to just tell me - he said ok fine, I went with a girl from work, didn’t tell you so you wouldn’t get jealous. This really upset me as i’ve said so many times that i don’t get jealous or upset unless i’m lied to, and he has no reason to think otherwise!! It was a girl he’d never mentioned before so I asked if i could see their messages. He said sure and opened them straight away. Immediately these messages gave the sense that he liked her - he messaged a lot throughout the day while they were at work, asking what food she wants, saying he’s bought her a cookie or something, they both use kisses, she sends heart emojis and he sends the kissy face one.. Once she messaged him at night (innocent convo tbf) and they ended it with “goodnight babes xxx” … He was also always asking if she would be working the next day & what time etc.. also constantly trying to do favours for her.
The most damning message was him saying “just have to say it, your hair looks gorgeous today, it really suits you”, to which she replied aww thank u you’re so cute xxxx
So he’s showing me these messages, I ask if he likes her, he says no. He does agree that that message was flirty, he said straight away that he was an idiot and should never have sent that. Eventually (always trickle truthing) he admits that he did have feelings for her for a bit but they’re gone now. He assured me that he wants nothing to do with her, he says he would never have taken it any further because he’d never cheat on me. He was feeling like I didn’t like him anymore because of how i was acting and these messages happened as a result apparently. I did apologise for making him feel like that, but he should have told me instead of flirting with his co worker?? Apparently she does know that he has a girlfriend. He immediately offered to cut her off completely and even to quit his job, he just doesn’t want to lose me. I told him don’t be silly, as he loves this job and it’s great money, and he can’t cut her off either as he sees her every day at work. It still makes me really uncomfortable though.
I truly don’t think he actually cheated on me, but flirting is still a form of cheating to me and i never thought he’d do that. I really do love him and the thought of losing the future we’d planned together makes me so sad.
I just don’t know what to do!! Any advice would be helpful please.. he’s a good guy but if I stay with him will he always lie to me about things? after 4 years it hasn’t changed. I also wonder how far the flirting would have gone if she’d come onto him..
Would you break up with your partner in this situation?
TL;DR - I just found out my boyfriend of 4 years has been exchanging flirty texts with a female coworker, partly because he was feeling unappreciated by me. He also lied about them having lunch together. He insists that he’d rather never talk to her again and even quit his job rather than lose me. What should i do?
submitted by new_star_887 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
Our only issues have been related to him lying about things. We had 2 instances in particular over the past couple years, I won’t get into too much detail but they involved him lying multiple times about who he was talking to - both times turned out to be a girl (different ones) - however he showed me the messages and they were completely innocent, and they were friends he’d known for years. I was so confused about why he hid this from me as I have never had an issue with him having female friends, and explained my main problem is people lying to me, all I want is honesty from him. Both times he apologised profusely and swore he’d never lie again (which of course he did), and his explanation was that his ex before me was very controlling and wouldn’t allow him to talk to any other girls so he was stuck in the habit (I know this was a very toxic relationship so I kind of accepted this).
However, we’ve been together over 4 years now so he really should understand by now that I won’t get upset about him having female friends, ONLY about him hiding things.
Anyway, flash forward to now. I’m currently nearing the end of my university degree so my workload is massive and my stress levels have been through the roof. Because of this, I haven’t been able to see him quite as often (still very regularly) and the last time I saw him I was quite moody due to the stress. Then a few days ago, we were texting while he was at work. It got to his break time, and usually he texts me all throughout lunch. But this time he didn’t message me until his break had finished. I asked if he’d had a nice lunch, he said he’d gone out to eat by himself. I immediately had a gut feeling that he was lying, but what could I do?
So, he came to see me this weekend and I couldn’t get it out of my head that he’d lied to me - if he did, why? Was he having an affair at work?? Maybe a bit dramatic but i just had a very bad feeling. So i asked him in person whether he did go by himself, he swears he did. I got a bit upset and begged him to just tell me - he said ok fine, I went with a girl from work, didn’t tell you so you wouldn’t get jealous. This really upset me as i’ve said so many times that i don’t get jealous or upset unless i’m lied to, and he has no reason to think otherwise!! It was a girl he’d never mentioned before so I asked if i could see their messages. He said sure and opened them straight away. Immediately these messages gave the sense that he liked her - he messaged a lot throughout the day while they were at work, asking what food she wants, saying he’s bought her a cookie or something, they both use kisses, she sends heart emojis and he sends the kissy face one.. Once she messaged him at night (innocent convo tbf) and they ended it with “goodnight babes xxx” … He was also always asking if she would be working the next day & what time etc.. also constantly trying to do favours for her.
The most damning message was him saying “just have to say it, your hair looks gorgeous today, it really suits you”, to which she replied aww thank u you’re so cute xxxx
So he’s showing me these messages, I ask if he likes her, he says no. He does agree that that message was flirty, he said straight away that he was an idiot and should never have sent that. Eventually (always trickle truthing) he admits that he did have feelings for her for a bit but they’re gone now. He assured me that he wants nothing to do with her, he says he would never have taken it any further because he’d never cheat on me. He was feeling like I didn’t like him anymore because of how i was acting and these messages happened as a result apparently. I did apologise for making him feel like that, but he should have told me instead of flirting with his co worker?? Apparently she does know that he has a girlfriend. He immediately offered to cut her off completely and even to quit his job, he just doesn’t want to lose me. I told him don’t be silly, as he loves this job and it’s great money, and he can’t cut her off either as he sees her every day at work. It still makes me really uncomfortable though.
I truly don’t think he actually cheated on me, but flirting is still a form of cheating to me and i never thought he’d do that. I really do love him and the thought of losing the future we’d planned together makes me so sad.
I just don’t know what to do!! Any advice would be helpful please.. he’s a good guy but if I stay with him will he always lie to me about things? after 4 years it hasn’t changed. I also wonder how far the flirting would have gone if she’d come onto him..
Would you break up with your partner in this situation?
TL;DR - I just found out my boyfriend of 4 years has been exchanging flirty texts with a female coworker, partly because he was feeling unappreciated by me. He also lied about them having lunch together. He insists that he’d rather never talk to her again and even quit his job rather than lose me. What should i do?
2024.05.19 19:26 CnRhin We Were Sent to find an Ancient Weapon called Human- Chapter 2
First
Auraxium Captain Nikto Rakzes POV
Those traitors think they can hide from us in the old home system of the Elyrian? I’ll show them what happens when they cross Captain Nikto Rakzes! Nobody pulls one over on me and gets away with it. I mean how did I honestly believe that they were courier runners? Yes, they had the necessary paperwork, so I had to go by the books and let them go. But once they strayed from their route their fate was sealed. These three shall rue the day they thought they could escape the great Nikto Rakzes!
Crew of the Scav POV
“No weapons, that’s fine we can still manage. Little one I never got your name by the way.” Asked Tic-Tac from the speakers all around the room.
“My name is Lizra, Captain Lizra Riteness the Third to be exact.”
“Adorable, ok Captain Lizra, how sure are you that these ones incoming are hostile?”
“I'm Fairly certain. I just didn’t think that they would be so suspicious of us as to follow us here.”
“Well we did lie to them and pretend to be galactic couriers. And that dumbass bought every word of it too” Chucked Argall.
“Argall language. We are Tic-Tac's esteemed guests here.”
“No worries little one. That's ok, I think I have a plan that may get us all out of here. I can completely stabilize the atmosphere within the facility and then when they enter I will be able to jettison them from the airlocks. Do you think that might buy us enough time to get to your vessel?”
“We’re not going to fight them ourselves? The whole reason I was sent with you was to carry this weapon back! I was hoping to get to use it at least. But now I can’t even do that since the weapon is a fucking guy.” Complained Argall, annoyed that there still hadn’t been a confrontation that required his expertise.
“Don’t worry Induran, if they manage to stick around after we show them the door, we may have use for you yet. And your name is?”
“Argall” He grumbled, still disappointed there was no ancient weapon of destruction he could wield like some god of war.
“Argall what?” Questioned Tic-tac confused.
“Just Argall”
“Appropriate. They should be arriving any second now. I am going to go ahead and remove the atmosphere from this room so that we do not have to worry about pressure equalization when we make our move. Z-8 do you have any way to remotely pilot your ship from here?”
“We do not even need to inquire as to how you know our name, but please call us Zate from this point forward. Yes we have the ability to control the ship remotely. What do you have in mind Program?”
“I can see from the security feeds they are going to station their ship near yours. I will forward you the location of where to move your ship once I eject the intruders. I am going to illuminate the path to another exit, for you to move to. Once there I’ll pressurize the door, open the airlock, and throw you into space.”
“You’re going to do what with us!? I do not consent to being blasted into the cosmos Mr. Tic-Tac.” Replied Lizra clutching onto Argall even tighter.
“Captain, the claws”
“Yes my apologies Argall”
“Do not worry. If Zate gets the ship in position you will be propelled right into the loading bay or your vessel. When I was connected to Zate I was able to view the schematic of your ship. I will send her a visual representation of how to orient it to properly recieve you.” Tic-Tac replied matter of factly.
“Not necessary, we can visualize that without your aid computer.”
While the plan was being created the Human sat silently watching them. Throughout the entire conversation he hadn’t taken his eyes off of the small Elyrian captain in the room. His masked helmet gave away no signs as to how he felt towards the plan, or other occupants in the room. Lizra hopped down from atop Argall and made her way over to Human looking up at him. When standing on her hind legs she barely came up to his knees.
“Um, Mr Human, do you have anything to add to the plan?”
“No.”
“Will you defend us if it comes to that?”
“Yea sure…and I’m sorry.”
“Sorry? For what exactly?”
“Just that-”
As Lizra and Human were locked in their engrossing dialogue, a loud bang echoed throughout the facility that shook the walls of the research room. The trio jumped into action and gathered around the exit door as Human walked over to the small black box looking down at it.
“Just lemme know when Tic-Tac.”
“Disconnect me only when they get to safety. Any earlier and I will not have access to the facility.”
“You aren’t coming with us?” Asked Lizra looking down at the little black computer.
“We will be following shortly, I have to ensure your safe exit. We also have a few more items to grab before we make our leave.” A second later an explosion was heard down the hall, followed by a booming voice that echoed throught the base.
“This is Auraxium Captain Nikto Rakzes of The Prowler. You are in violation of Core federal code 13-7451 impersonating a galactic courier and attempting to flee from federal authorities. Cooperate and you will be handled respectfully. If you refuse to do so then you shall face severe repercussions. Such as a fine upwards of 10,000 credits. That will be all.”
“He seems to be in a better mood today,” Lizra chuckled.
“Oh we’ll see if he’s still threatening us with a fine when I threaten him with his own spine.”
Argall grunted putting his fists together.
“Ok Zate get the ship moving, I’m opening the airlocks now. Good luck everyone, see you soon.”
When Tic-Tac finished his farewell, the sounds of air rushing out of the facility sounded from the other side of the door. It opened up moments later and the three rushed out into the hall. They followed the blinking lights that guided them through the corridors. Upon reaching the exit they made their way into the small airlock and the door sealed behind them.
“7 seconds and we will have the ship in position. We hope Tic-Tac does not send us out too e-” Zate was cut off as the opposite door opened and plunged the trio untethered out into the stars. Outside they could see countless others flailing around in the vacuum of space, having also been unexpectedly jettisoned from the base. Lizra locked her eyes onto the ship and saw it on an interception course with them. Their trajectory was impeccable, sending them right into the open loading bay. Argall grabbed the small captain and wrapped his bulk around her to shield her from the impact. The three were thrown into the ship with the blast door slamming shut behind them.
“Wait, what about Human and Tic-Tac?” Lizra asked squirming free of Argall grip.
“We have established comms with Tic-Tac again, he says not to worry and to prepare for departure.” Zate said, picking themselves up off the floor.
“Right, lets get out of here before those Core clowns get their bearings again.”
“What? No, thank you Argall for saving me? No, Oh Argall are you hurt from taking that fall for me?”
“You’re expected to save your captain Argall, we need to focus on saving Human and Tic-Tac right now.”
“No problem, you're welcome captain, yes i'm fine, thank you for asking.”
Once back in the command room of The Scav they surveyed the situation. The majority of The Prowler’s crew was still floating around aimlessly outside. The Prowler itself had started moving away from the landing pads, bearing down on The Scav.
“Captain weapons lock detected. They are directing us to stand down and not to flee.”
“Or what? We get another fine?”
“We believe they might not tell us again.”
As the two ships faced off, Lizra was debating whether to give the order to make a slipspace jump or to surrender. Before she could make up her mind, she saw the form of Human launching himself from the facility below. He was not headed for The Scav, but instead towards The Prowler.
“Quick Zate tell him that’s not our ship! That's the ones that came here to attack us!”
“We believe he knows that.”
“Then what is he doing? Is he betraying us? And here I thought he was just warming up to me.”
Human was silhouetted against the bright red hull of the Prowler as he made contact with it and latched on. He launched himself from the side of the ship making a beeline for the front. Once there he dug his hands into the metal walls, climbing towards the windows of The Prowler’s bridge. Human stared into the bridge of The Prowler before raising an arm and shattering the glass of the viewport and throwing himself inside. A few stray plasma shots could be seen exiting the bridge before the ship’s metal shutters slammed shut in an attempt to stop the atmosphere from escaping.
“Remind me to ask Human to show me how to punch like that.”
“Captain weapons are no longer locked. Should we start a slipspace jump?”
“Yes, go for slipspace, seatbelts everyone! Zate open the cargo bay again.”
A minute later the metal shutters were torn open from the inside and Human jumped from the ruins of The Prowler's bridge towards The Scav. The Scav moved closer to intercept, and Zate oriented the ship to receive him in the open bay. Once Human was safely aboard, the cargo bay was closed and Zate initiated the slipspace jump. Once away from danger the crew gave a sigh of relief, Lizra unbuckling herself from her pedestal and surveyed the monitors.
“Well I’d like to see them give us that fine now. Great work everyone. And Argall? Thank you for shielding me earlier, it looked like it hurt.”
“Of course captain you’re welcome. And I’m fine thank you.”
“Oh come now, I was being genuine. I appreciate your initiative to keep me safe. I’ll put you in for some sort of medal when we return.”
“Nah I don’t need a medal. I just wanna actually do my job when it doesn’t involve moving around cargo.”
“Well then, shall we go greet Human and Tic-Tac then? I believe a thanks is in order.”
“We will stay here and notify you when we are clear of the system. Ensure Tic-Tac will not meddle with our systems again or he might find himself being the one jettisoned from an airlock.”
“Duly noted Zate, keep us on course and notify me of any updates.”
Lizra and Argall shed their environmental suits and made their way down into the cargo bay to see if Human was ok. When they arrived, there was a dent in the far wall, presumable from when they made the jump and Human wasn't properaly fastened in. He was wearing the small black box from the computer room on his back, and unlike before had a strange looking rifle in his hand.
“Ah that’s new, its a good look for you two. We’re not in space anymore so you don’t have to wear your suit around here when we're in transit.”
“I’m fine, thanks.” Human replied curtly.
Tic-Tac’s voice echoed from the black box attached to humans back, “Unfortunately he has no way of removing the suit here either way. We would have to construct the proper machines to remove it, as I do not believe they are present in this… galaxy." Tic-Tac said searching for the proper word. "But he hasn’t been out of it in a very long time, I assure you it’s not a burden to him.”
“Right, well thank you for saving us back there. So did you… um kill them all?”
“No, we merely disabled their systems on the bridge. They’re going to be stuck there for quite a while until someone can give them a ride. We have decided to accompany you to the nearest port where we can acquire our own ship and then we shall be on our way.” Tic-Tac responded.
“Wait wait wait, we went through all the trouble of getting you out of there, helped you bring Human back, and now you want to leave us already?”
“We have no desire to get involved in another conflict after having it be our sole purpose for as long as we can remember. I hope you can understand why we wish to make our own choices now.”
“Okay hold on, we helped you get off the base, and helped you wake up Human. So maybe you could at least come with us back home and hear us out. From someone a little more charismatic than myself.”
“Very well, how long until we arrive?”
“Um, maybe a week?”
“Terrific. Well maybe we can pass the time by telling me how you came to learn of us, and more about who you’re fighting. I only speak for myself saying I would love to know more. It really has been a long time since I’ve had a good conversation with someone that's not a part of myself.”
“Of course, here let me show you to the common room, you two can stay there until we make a stop.” Lizra led them to a large room in the center of the ship, adorned with various different chairs for the different species on board. She took the seat that was present for her, a round flat bed where she was able to curl up and use her long tail as a pillow. Human took off the black box that was Tic-tac and dropped it onto the table in the middle.
“Enjoy.” He spoke before leaving the room. Argall followed closely behind Human and Lizra only picked up the beginning of his sentence, asking about how he was able to break into the ship like that.
“Is he always this… charming?”
“He isn’t the nicest, you don't have to sidestep it. We have been through a lot. I’d like to tell you more, but I do not want to make him any angrier with me than he already is. He’s been through more than I could possibly begin to explain.
“Well I hope he ends up doing better. Maybe we can find a beach for him when we make a stop, I remember him mentioning that.”
“I’m sure he would appreciate that.”
“You know, I have been thinking about something rather peculiar he said to me when we were in your computer room.”
“And what might that be?”
“He apologized to me, but he hadn’t done anything that warranted an apology at the time.”
Tic-Tac was silent for a moment before speaking, “He has been trapped in his own head for quite some time. I would not dwell on anything strange he says. 909 is a man of few words, and does not come from a world that places social interactions in their list of their priorities.”
Lizra was quiet for a moment, feeling as if there was more Tic-Tac had wanted to say but decided not to. Before she could press further, the black box spoke again. “So, who is this Core you mentioned back there?”
“Oh my where to begin with that one. I guess my own species’ story would be a good place to start. About 1000 years ago we were nearly brought to complete extinction…”
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Auraxium Captain Nikto Rakzes POV
Those traitors think they can hide from us in the old home system of the Elyrian? I’ll show them what happens when they cross Captain Nikto Rakzes! Nobody pulls one over on me and gets away with it. I mean how did I honestly believe that they were courier runners? Yes, they had the necessary paperwork, so I had to go by the books and let them go. But once they strayed from their route their fate was sealed. These three shall rue the day they thought they could escape the great Nikto Rakzes!
Crew of the Scav POV
“No weapons, that’s fine we can still manage. Little one I never got your name by the way.” Asked Tic-Tac from the speakers all around the room.
“My name is Lizra, Captain Lizra Riteness the Third to be exact.”
“Adorable, ok Captain Lizra, how sure are you that these ones incoming are hostile?”
“I'm Fairly certain. I just didn’t think that they would be so suspicious of us as to follow us here.”
“Well we did lie to them and pretend to be galactic couriers. And that dumbass bought every word of it too” Chucked Argall.
“Argall language. We are Tic-Tac's esteemed guests here.”
“No worries little one. That's ok, I think I have a plan that may get us all out of here. I can completely stabilize the atmosphere within the facility and then when they enter I will be able to jettison them from the airlocks. Do you think that might buy us enough time to get to your vessel?”
“We’re not going to fight them ourselves? The whole reason I was sent with you was to carry this weapon back! I was hoping to get to use it at least. But now I can’t even do that since the weapon is a fucking guy.” Complained Argall, annoyed that there still hadn’t been a confrontation that required his expertise.
“Don’t worry Induran, if they manage to stick around after we show them the door, we may have use for you yet. And your name is?”
“Argall” He grumbled, still disappointed there was no ancient weapon of destruction he could wield like some god of war.
“Argall what?” Questioned Tic-tac confused.
“Just Argall”
“Appropriate. They should be arriving any second now. I am going to go ahead and remove the atmosphere from this room so that we do not have to worry about pressure equalization when we make our move. Z-8 do you have any way to remotely pilot your ship from here?”
“We do not even need to inquire as to how you know our name, but please call us Zate from this point forward. Yes we have the ability to control the ship remotely. What do you have in mind Program?”
“I can see from the security feeds they are going to station their ship near yours. I will forward you the location of where to move your ship once I eject the intruders. I am going to illuminate the path to another exit, for you to move to. Once there I’ll pressurize the door, open the airlock, and throw you into space.”
“You’re going to do what with us!? I do not consent to being blasted into the cosmos Mr. Tic-Tac.” Replied Lizra clutching onto Argall even tighter.
“Captain, the claws”
“Yes my apologies Argall”
“Do not worry. If Zate gets the ship in position you will be propelled right into the loading bay or your vessel. When I was connected to Zate I was able to view the schematic of your ship. I will send her a visual representation of how to orient it to properly recieve you.” Tic-Tac replied matter of factly.
“Not necessary, we can visualize that without your aid computer.”
While the plan was being created the Human sat silently watching them. Throughout the entire conversation he hadn’t taken his eyes off of the small Elyrian captain in the room. His masked helmet gave away no signs as to how he felt towards the plan, or other occupants in the room. Lizra hopped down from atop Argall and made her way over to Human looking up at him. When standing on her hind legs she barely came up to his knees.
“Um, Mr Human, do you have anything to add to the plan?”
“No.”
“Will you defend us if it comes to that?”
“Yea sure…and I’m sorry.”
“Sorry? For what exactly?”
“Just that-”
As Lizra and Human were locked in their engrossing dialogue, a loud bang echoed throughout the facility that shook the walls of the research room. The trio jumped into action and gathered around the exit door as Human walked over to the small black box looking down at it.
“Just lemme know when Tic-Tac.”
“Disconnect me only when they get to safety. Any earlier and I will not have access to the facility.”
“You aren’t coming with us?” Asked Lizra looking down at the little black computer.
“We will be following shortly, I have to ensure your safe exit. We also have a few more items to grab before we make our leave.” A second later an explosion was heard down the hall, followed by a booming voice that echoed throught the base.
“This is Auraxium Captain Nikto Rakzes of The Prowler. You are in violation of Core federal code 13-7451 impersonating a galactic courier and attempting to flee from federal authorities. Cooperate and you will be handled respectfully. If you refuse to do so then you shall face severe repercussions. Such as a fine upwards of 10,000 credits. That will be all.”
“He seems to be in a better mood today,” Lizra chuckled.
“Oh we’ll see if he’s still threatening us with a fine when I threaten him with his own spine.”
Argall grunted putting his fists together.
“Ok Zate get the ship moving, I’m opening the airlocks now. Good luck everyone, see you soon.”
When Tic-Tac finished his farewell, the sounds of air rushing out of the facility sounded from the other side of the door. It opened up moments later and the three rushed out into the hall. They followed the blinking lights that guided them through the corridors. Upon reaching the exit they made their way into the small airlock and the door sealed behind them.
“7 seconds and we will have the ship in position. We hope Tic-Tac does not send us out too e-” Zate was cut off as the opposite door opened and plunged the trio untethered out into the stars. Outside they could see countless others flailing around in the vacuum of space, having also been unexpectedly jettisoned from the base. Lizra locked her eyes onto the ship and saw it on an interception course with them. Their trajectory was impeccable, sending them right into the open loading bay. Argall grabbed the small captain and wrapped his bulk around her to shield her from the impact. The three were thrown into the ship with the blast door slamming shut behind them.
“Wait, what about Human and Tic-Tac?” Lizra asked squirming free of Argall grip.
“We have established comms with Tic-Tac again, he says not to worry and to prepare for departure.” Zate said, picking themselves up off the floor.
“Right, lets get out of here before those Core clowns get their bearings again.”
“What? No, thank you Argall for saving me? No, Oh Argall are you hurt from taking that fall for me?”
“You’re expected to save your captain Argall, we need to focus on saving Human and Tic-Tac right now.”
“No problem, you're welcome captain, yes i'm fine, thank you for asking.”
Once back in the command room of The Scav they surveyed the situation. The majority of The Prowler’s crew was still floating around aimlessly outside. The Prowler itself had started moving away from the landing pads, bearing down on The Scav.
“Captain weapons lock detected. They are directing us to stand down and not to flee.”
“Or what? We get another fine?”
“We believe they might not tell us again.”
As the two ships faced off, Lizra was debating whether to give the order to make a slipspace jump or to surrender. Before she could make up her mind, she saw the form of Human launching himself from the facility below. He was not headed for The Scav, but instead towards The Prowler.
“Quick Zate tell him that’s not our ship! That's the ones that came here to attack us!”
“We believe he knows that.”
“Then what is he doing? Is he betraying us? And here I thought he was just warming up to me.”
Human was silhouetted against the bright red hull of the Prowler as he made contact with it and latched on. He launched himself from the side of the ship making a beeline for the front. Once there he dug his hands into the metal walls, climbing towards the windows of The Prowler’s bridge. Human stared into the bridge of The Prowler before raising an arm and shattering the glass of the viewport and throwing himself inside. A few stray plasma shots could be seen exiting the bridge before the ship’s metal shutters slammed shut in an attempt to stop the atmosphere from escaping.
“Remind me to ask Human to show me how to punch like that.”
“Captain weapons are no longer locked. Should we start a slipspace jump?”
“Yes, go for slipspace, seatbelts everyone! Zate open the cargo bay again.”
A minute later the metal shutters were torn open from the inside and Human jumped from the ruins of The Prowler's bridge towards The Scav. The Scav moved closer to intercept, and Zate oriented the ship to receive him in the open bay. Once Human was safely aboard, the cargo bay was closed and Zate initiated the slipspace jump. Once away from danger the crew gave a sigh of relief, Lizra unbuckling herself from her pedestal and surveyed the monitors.
“Well I’d like to see them give us that fine now. Great work everyone. And Argall? Thank you for shielding me earlier, it looked like it hurt.”
“Of course captain you’re welcome. And I’m fine thank you.”
“Oh come now, I was being genuine. I appreciate your initiative to keep me safe. I’ll put you in for some sort of medal when we return.”
“Nah I don’t need a medal. I just wanna actually do my job when it doesn’t involve moving around cargo.”
“Well then, shall we go greet Human and Tic-Tac then? I believe a thanks is in order.”
“We will stay here and notify you when we are clear of the system. Ensure Tic-Tac will not meddle with our systems again or he might find himself being the one jettisoned from an airlock.”
“Duly noted Zate, keep us on course and notify me of any updates.”
Lizra and Argall shed their environmental suits and made their way down into the cargo bay to see if Human was ok. When they arrived, there was a dent in the far wall, presumable from when they made the jump and Human wasn't properaly fastened in. He was wearing the small black box from the computer room on his back, and unlike before had a strange looking rifle in his hand.
“Ah that’s new, its a good look for you two. We’re not in space anymore so you don’t have to wear your suit around here when we're in transit.”
“I’m fine, thanks.” Human replied curtly.
Tic-Tac’s voice echoed from the black box attached to humans back, “Unfortunately he has no way of removing the suit here either way. We would have to construct the proper machines to remove it, as I do not believe they are present in this… galaxy." Tic-Tac said searching for the proper word. "But he hasn’t been out of it in a very long time, I assure you it’s not a burden to him.”
“Right, well thank you for saving us back there. So did you… um kill them all?”
“No, we merely disabled their systems on the bridge. They’re going to be stuck there for quite a while until someone can give them a ride. We have decided to accompany you to the nearest port where we can acquire our own ship and then we shall be on our way.” Tic-Tac responded.
“Wait wait wait, we went through all the trouble of getting you out of there, helped you bring Human back, and now you want to leave us already?”
“We have no desire to get involved in another conflict after having it be our sole purpose for as long as we can remember. I hope you can understand why we wish to make our own choices now.”
“Okay hold on, we helped you get off the base, and helped you wake up Human. So maybe you could at least come with us back home and hear us out. From someone a little more charismatic than myself.”
“Very well, how long until we arrive?”
“Um, maybe a week?”
“Terrific. Well maybe we can pass the time by telling me how you came to learn of us, and more about who you’re fighting. I only speak for myself saying I would love to know more. It really has been a long time since I’ve had a good conversation with someone that's not a part of myself.”
“Of course, here let me show you to the common room, you two can stay there until we make a stop.” Lizra led them to a large room in the center of the ship, adorned with various different chairs for the different species on board. She took the seat that was present for her, a round flat bed where she was able to curl up and use her long tail as a pillow. Human took off the black box that was Tic-tac and dropped it onto the table in the middle.
“Enjoy.” He spoke before leaving the room. Argall followed closely behind Human and Lizra only picked up the beginning of his sentence, asking about how he was able to break into the ship like that.
“Is he always this… charming?”
“He isn’t the nicest, you don't have to sidestep it. We have been through a lot. I’d like to tell you more, but I do not want to make him any angrier with me than he already is. He’s been through more than I could possibly begin to explain.
“Well I hope he ends up doing better. Maybe we can find a beach for him when we make a stop, I remember him mentioning that.”
“I’m sure he would appreciate that.”
“You know, I have been thinking about something rather peculiar he said to me when we were in your computer room.”
“And what might that be?”
“He apologized to me, but he hadn’t done anything that warranted an apology at the time.”
Tic-Tac was silent for a moment before speaking, “He has been trapped in his own head for quite some time. I would not dwell on anything strange he says. 909 is a man of few words, and does not come from a world that places social interactions in their list of their priorities.”
Lizra was quiet for a moment, feeling as if there was more Tic-Tac had wanted to say but decided not to. Before she could press further, the black box spoke again. “So, who is this Core you mentioned back there?”
“Oh my where to begin with that one. I guess my own species’ story would be a good place to start. About 1000 years ago we were nearly brought to complete extinction…”
2024.05.19 19:19 Subject_Actuator1280 Something brightly yellow in the water
The bright yellow terror
‘’Every now and then I would stare at the murky brown water below and see several small glimpses of bright yellow popping up from and then retreating down below the surface in rhythmic fashion. Like a dance routine. Bright deadly yellow. The rotting sweet stench of death still lodged in my nostrils.’’
I had happened upon these diary pages by mistake when I was digging through old boxes in my basement. My wife had insisted, finally, that I sort out and get rid of everything I didn’t need. Now here I was, confronted with a part of my past I had tried to suppress unsuccessfully for so many years. 24 years to be exact. 24 odd years of trying to understand what exactly happened in those days when I was trapped on a rooftop in Phuket during a deadly and disastrous natural catastrophe.
24 odd years of having to dodge around questions of my abject and unwavering fear of the ocean. Well, in truth, I guess being caught in a large tsunami and witnessing immense destructive forces of nature coming directly from the great wide ocean would be a fair excuse, but it was only half the truth. It wasn’t just the waves themselves that had terrified me.
Until now, I thought the water damaged remains of the diary I kept back then was lost. I even hoped it was. I never shared this story with anyone. Partly because the horror was too fresh in my memory back then and I wanted to focus on moving on with my life and by the time I felt my mind was stabilized I had no real interest in returning to that dark part of my past. Partly because the right words always escaped me.
Mostly because I was afraid people would think I was insane. I can no longer contain this, however. I need an outlet. I spend years running from it. But I guess I can’t lie to myself anymore. Someone once told me that writing can be therapeutic. Simply putting your thoughts down on paper, or in our times, more likely in word document, can help you compartmentalize trauma. So, I’m giving it a try. I can’t pretend the events of those days in Phuket didn’t cast a shadow over everything in my life that came after.
I often think of the beach days I missed with my son when he was a boy. Days where I should’ve done dad stuff. Thrown him into the ocean. Watched him laugh his little face of as he braved the waves. Helped him build sandcastles. Gone exploring along the sandy shores in search of beached treasure in the form little rocks and the odd piece of amber. I just couldn’t. Initially I had objected to the idea of him going at all. Naturally, my wife would hear none of that and I realized reluctantly, that my fear and trauma should not rule my son’s life. Instead, my wife would go, and I would always stay home. She understood, to some degree, what I had gone through and where my fear came from.
Only to some degree. My son did not, and I fear he resented my absence on those perfect sunny days, despite my efforts to make up for it with other activities. Both he and my wife certainly noticed how closed off I was about certain parts of my past. Secrets untold, especially those who are grounded in trauma, almost inevitably turns to toxic in our systems. I’m finally ready. I just hope it isn’t too late.
I won’t lie. I’ve always had a vivid imagination although I have never had trouble distinguishing between what is real and what is not. At least until my sense of reality was forever challenged. I know these things happened to me. I know what I saw and what I experienced was real. I just don’t have a truly rational explanation for it. Yet, I swear, there was something in the water that came with that tsunami. Something deeply, deeply unnatural. Something brightly and oddly yellow. I had no other word for it than the bright yellow terror.
I had travelled to Thailand, more precisely Bangkok late December 2000. 19 years old about to turn 20. I was on one of those infamous and increasingly popular self-discovery trips. I had caught the fever. Like so many other young hopeful adventurers at the time I had seen The Beach. I had read into the wild by Jon Krakauer.
I watched Dicaprio walk the sandy shores of paradise and read on in excitement and awe as Christopher McCandles set out to become one with nature and discover himself. Kill the false being within and all that. In simple terms, I thought I’d try and find my own slice of heaven on earth. Expand my horizon. Get to know some new people. Learn something about myself in the process perhaps. I wasn’t exactly fleeing from anything, that wasn’t it. I had a loving although cuddling and overprotective family. Especially my mom would worry about me constantly (and still does).
Yes, I admit it. My parents had paved the way for me at almost every step. Made sure I got into the right schools. Made sure I never needed for money. I guess I got tired of feeling dependent on them. I stopped taking their money and saved up for the trip myself. It was time I stepped up. It was time I threw myself into the world to see what would happen. Hell of a time and place I picked for that.
The following story is based on the surviving pages of the diary I kept during the time and my own memory.
Bangkok 23rd December 2000. 4 days before the tsunami.
‘’My first day in Bangkok. Quite overwhelming but in a nice way. No one here to save me. No one here to tell me what to do. Thailand is hot and humid and there’s something in the air. I think it’s adventure. I think it’s limitless opportunity. I met a monkey in a diaper and got thoroughly beaten and lost 100 bath in a game of connect four by some 10-year-old kid. Got scammed as well though, I will have to wise up and learn the ropes. Avoid the yellow taxis. Go for the Tuk Tuks. Well, lesson learned. I met a guy who told me all kinds of terrifying things about Australia. Robert. I’m meeting him in Phuket a couple of days from now.’’
You could probably imagine the excitement bubbling within me. For the first time on my own. 19 years old. Prime of my life. In a strangely new and exotic city. Possibilities seemed endless. I still remember vividly driving off with the wind in my hair in a tuk-tuk as Bangkok unfolded before me with all its oriental mysticism and surrounding cityscapes. To be fair, I had never even seen an honest to god palm tree before as they simply couldn’t grow in the northern climate I was from.
I got myself stationed in a decent guesthouse around Khaosan Road. Everywhere I looked it seems others had gotten the same idea as me. Backpackers littered the streets and in a strange way, I felt at home amidst this quiet chaos, amidst the crowds of hopefully likeminded explorers, far, far away from home. The humidity was hitting me though, it was something I would have to get used to. It felt like a wet hot invisible blanket. Khaosan Road was perfect for me. A meeting place for young backpackers, with tons of opportunities to plan further travels. I did after all, not plan on staying in Bangkok for too long. It was just a stepping point to other adventures.
It was still early, and the humidity was clammy as hell. I was in the mood to socialize and with no real plans I simply ventured out into the streets of Bangkok, circling around the area where my guesthouse was located. It wasn’t long before the first opportunity presented itself in the form of a taxi driver calling me over. He offered to take me on a tour of the city. Foolish and naïve as I was, I indulged him. I remember how the cab driver lit up a doobie, joint, spliff, devil’s lettuce whatever you want to call it.
You know it as soon as you breathe in the air. Don’t get me wrong, I smoked myself, but letting a clearly high person drive me around the busy Bangkok traffic did not seem like a good idea. I should probably have asked to be let out that very moment, but as the kind of timid, shy type of person I was plus the desire to just go along with whatever happened come what may made me stay. Unsurprisingly I was eventually led to a store, fitted for a suit a didn’t want, and then subsequently charged an obscene amount for the cab ride. I didn’t have the courage to refuse his unreasonable demand. Noteworthy mention. That same night I heard from a fellow traveler that just recently someone had been stabbed in an argument with a cab driver. I didn’t let it get me down or drive me off course, because as you’ve probably gathered by now, I didn’t have a course.
As day turned to night and when the sun’s rays slowly disappeared behind the rooftops of Bangkok, the city itself began to transform. As if a part of it which had laid dormant, hidden away from the light, started to emerge.
Neon lights advertising different bars, people making all kinds of promises of untold pleasures and sensations. Tourists ready to party. All now filled the streets. Some seemed all too aware of what they were looking for, others simply drifted around aimlessly, in search of something unknown, something to spice up their existence. I found a small seemingly cool place called The Hangover. I swear to god, I wish to this day I hadn’t. Maybe then I wouldn’t have set my course for Phuket. In any case, I went in and pushed myself through the crowds of rowdy and loud tourists and up the bar where I ordered a Pina Colada. Please don’t judge me. I just really like coconuts and the song is pretty good as well. Standing at the crowded bar and looking around, hoping something interesting would catch my eye. But most of all, I was hoping someone would just take the first step and come talk to me.
Someone did. His name was Robert, and he was from Australia. A tall skinny and no-nonsense older guy who seemed quite experienced with all things Thailand. He eventually invited me down to his group of friends at the far back end of the bar. Robert spared no time telling me about himself. He had worked all kinds of jobs, in all kinds of places. Most recently he had worked as a guide in Phuket. Among other things he had arranged rock climbing expeditions. I probably forgot to mention, I was big into rock climbing and generally all kinds of outdoor activities back then.
I already had quite the climbing experience despite my young age. As Robert talked about all the places he’d been, he made me feel like the novice I was. That was never his intention though, as I quickly learned. He wasn’t a bragger. He just knew what he was talking about and when he laughed, he did it with his entire face and in a way that made you laugh with him and feel comfortable.
Eventually the conversation naturally gravitated towards Australia. A place I had always wanted to visit. He looked at me for a second, as if to contemplate something. Then told me to watch out for locals trying to play pranks on me. I was naturally interested in hearing more and that’s when he told me about drop bears. Supposedly drop bears are carnivorous versions of Koalas residing in trees to then drop down on unsuspecting victims and viciously attack them. We laughed quite a lot, and I admitted I would probably have believed the stories as I was a fairly naive person and the idea of hostile subspecies of koalas didn’t seem that farfetched to me. It would be typical of past me to get punked around like that. Our conversation then shifted towards Australian wildlife and fauna and the horrors residing within its diverse and complicated eco system. He told me about a plant not uncommonly referred to as the suicide plant. Dendrocnide moroides or more commonly known as stinging tree, stinging bush or gympie gympie apparently has such a nasty and painful sting it made a man commit suicide simply to escape the pain. Another dangerous inhabitant was the box jellyfish he explained.
Their sting was about as deadly as it gets. A single sting to a human will cause necrosis of the skin, excruciating pain and, if the dose of venom is large enough, cardiac arrest and death within minutes. I have always found jellyfish equal parts fascinating and equal parts frightening. Beautiful but deadly creatures. In fact, the ocean, in all its grand wide-reaching glory had always horrified me to some extent. So much unexplored space. Who truly knows what could be lurking down there? Robert quickly assured me, that as long as you take your precaution the likelihood of getting stung by a box jellyfish was rather small. They had signs up warning people against them. Generally, do not ignore these signs. They are there for a good reason.
It was getting late and before we said our goodbyes Robert suggested I meet him in Phuket, more precisely in the Khao Lak area on the 28th as that was the first day he would be able to. I thought why not? He seemed genuinely nice and knowledgeable. Just good company all around and he promised to show me the greatest climbing spots a bit away from the crowded tours. It was a start.
I would never meet Robert again. I don’t know what happened to him. Thinking back on those days leading up to the point the waves came crashing down always gives me an uneasy, sad, and melancholic feeling. The people I met in Bangkok talking about going south. Those I met in Phuket before it happened. I have no idea if they ended up as corpses floating through the murky brown waters or god forbid, victims of that unholy terror from the deep. I hope Robert wasn’t among those unfortunate souls who died or went… ‘’Missing’’. Although if I must pick one or the other. I would hope he died quickly.
Bangkok 24th of December 2000. 3 days before the tsunami.
I woke up with a slight hangover. Christmas is commonly celebrated on this date in my country, so I was expecting some calls to go through on my brick sized Nokia at some point once all the good folks back home woke up. They were about 5 hours behind me and at 9 AM Bangkok time they would still be sleeping. I used the time to do some shopping before my trip to Phuket. I got plenty of rope, a couple of snap hooks and a harness. I knew they’d have all of this on the guided tours, but I liked to find my own spots to climb, and I had good sense and knowledge enough to not attempt anything too daring. By the way. For those uninitiated, snap hooks are used to make a quick, reversible connection on a system of ropes, or to connect a rope or cord to another component, like a lanyard medallion or barrier post. Essential if you want to go climbing. If you’ve ever gone ziplining it’s the thing that connects you safely to the zipline and lets you slight across.
After having done my shopping, I bought a bus ticket to Phuket intending on leaving that same night and went back to my hotel room. As exciting as Bangkok was, I felt it was more for people intend on partying and in all honesty, a bit too crowded for me. I was excited to move on and I could always come back if I wanted to. On my way into the reception area, I was stopped by a young hip looking dude looking for a cigarette. Now I don’t necessarily consider myself a perfect judge of character, but he had an easy-going way about him that immediately drew me in. Sometimes, you can just tell.
He had sort of a rugged look about him. Dirty blond half-long hair. His face I would best describe as boyish but something in his eyes betrayed him and revealed his age to be older than you would assume. His style was… Boheme I guess I would describe it as. Like something taken out of the 70s LA scene. I’m not a smoker. Never was. So, I couldn’t help him on that front. It didn’t matter he would find someone else he said. For a while we just casually talked. Apparently, he had come to Bangkok just a few days prior and seemed about as lost and without direction as I had been before deciding on taking my chances in Phuket. Alex was his name, and he would later save my life and help me understand what it means to forge a quick and unbreakable connection through shared trauma, but I’m getting ahead of myself.
He asked me if I wanted to go somewhere and get a beer. I thought why not? He was about my age and on his own as well. I told him I had to go make some calls and I’d be out in about an hour. Back the hotel room I quickly gathered all my stuff and packed it up, so it was ready to go. My climbing gear took up the most space. I figured if things went well with Alex, I might be able to persuade him in joining me at some point in Phuket. Even though I had set out for this trip to be about discovering myself and being on my own, I longed for some kind of company. Don’t we all? I called my parents up and we wished each other a happy Christmas. It was odd to think they were somewhere nearly half-way across the world celebrating Christmas while snow draped the landscapes there. Here I was, In hot and humid paradise. No, I did not miss the cold or the snow, but I did miss not being there to celebrate the holidays with my family. But it had been my choice to go during the holiday season and I did not regret it. I had saved up enough money and there was no point in waiting anymore. There would be many other holidays to celebrate in the future.
My 5-year-old nephew somehow got a hold of the phone. Not quite the conversationalist yet, it still felt good to hear his voice. Hearing his excitement over the prospect of celebrating Christmas brought me back to my own childhood. Decorating the Christmas tree, watching holiday cartoons and of course, opening presents. I finished my calls and went out to see if Alex was ready. He was already waiting for me and had apparently managed to score some cigarettes in the meantime. He had changed his outfit as well. Now wearing a faded black doors t-shirt. We talked a bit about Jim Morrison and the doors as we headed off down streets. We passed a myriad of small stands selling everything from electronics to colorful t-shirts and small bracelets with campy misspelled English catchphrases. We dodged the many intrusive offers and eventually found a small comfy looking bar with seats outside shaded by palm trees. We ordered a couple of beers and the conversation started flowing along quite nicely. Alex was 25 and from London It turned out. We also had a common interest in music. For a while he had busked as a street musician while working odd jobs here and there and had eventually decided to travel the world.
His first stop had been India where for a while he had lived on the rooftop of some abandoned building while attempting to learn the art of playing the sitar. I thought about that for a second. Living it rough on some rooftop in India. I don’t know why that idea intrigued me so much. Seemed like freedom to me, I guess. Sleeping under the wide-open skies. Looking down on the streets and watching people go about their lives. I guess I just liked the idea of doing something that seemed different from what I had ever done before. Living on a rooftop, if even just for a while, was definitely not something I had done before. There was the view as well, Alex reminded me. And it was free of course. We drifted off into long conversations about music I won’t bore you too much with, only to let you know we shared a passion for old school music like the doors and Jimi Hendrix as well as 90s shoegaze music like My Bloody Valentine, Ride and Slowdive. I had Slowdive’s Shine playing in my mind that day. All felt so dreamy at the time.
I eventually told Alex of my plans to go to Phuket and he was onboard almost immediately. I loved how easy it was here on the road. There was no ‘’well maybe’’, or ‘’let’s think about it.’’ In fact, Alex had been to Phuket before and knew of a place we could stay for free. Another rooftop of course, but he had already sold me on the idea. From there, we could plan our next step he said. ‘’our next step’’ I don’t remember vibing with someone that quickly before or since, but then I guess making friends is always easier when you’re young and easy going. I always seemed to attract good company without much effort back then. I chalk it down to my friendly and slightly shy demeanor. Seems it only becomes harder to make friends as the years pass though. At least for me it did.
We got a bus ticket for Alex and shopped a bit more. I got some first aid supplies. Bandages, plasters, that kind of stuff. Rock climbing is safe, mind you, but you can end up scraping yourself and I felt in general, being prepared for whatever might be a good idea if I was to live it rough on some rooftop. The bus-ride to Phuket took about 12 hours give or take. By going at night, we could sleep most of the way and be in Phuket early morning on the 25th. The trip down was uneventful. We would take turns listening to music on Alex’s Walkman or talk about things we saw along the way. Like roadside bars and restaurants who were little more than a tin roof covering a few plastic chairs and brightly colored menu cards. Everything seemed simpler here, in the best ways possible.
No big flash, no fanfares or luxury. Nothing pretentious. Just a calm, laid back atmosphere and friendly smiles from the locals as we passed by. Alex told me he wanted to start a band blending elements of Shoegaze with classic rock and insisted I learn to play the drums as he had tried but found no luck. String instruments were more him he told me. I told him jokingly if he could come up with a good name, I might be down. He just nodded and looked out the window and started talking about how beef was a rare and more expensive ingredient in Thai cuisine, and I wondered about the sudden random change of subject. Although we had talked a lot during the short time we had known each other, Alex was still a mystery to me in many ways. Judging from all the things he told me he seemed like a person who dreamed big, but never really followed through
An unfinished education. Scribbles on pieces of paper that ended up gathering dust in his drawer instead of turning into a book. A band that never really took off because he lost interest or didn’t deem that it was good enough to get successful. He talked at length about leaving a legacy. It seemed to be something that concerned him. I guess he wanted to put his mark on the world. To be remembered. To live on in some small way. I had never really thought about it myself although I did have a fascination with historical people and the lives they lived. In fact, when I do read I mostly read biographies. I just never had any ambition like that myself. I don’t need the world to know my name, or sing my praises, or remember me. Good friends, family and a sense of freedom and adventure was enough. I had tried to ask Alex about his family and friends back home, but he seemed avoidant and always found a way to change the subject without really providing any meaningful information. At certain points, I sensed a carefully hidden sadness behind his otherwise optimistically youthful and bright blue gaze.
Phuket 25th of December 2000. 2 days before the tsunami.
Alex woke me up. It was 9 AM and we had arrived at the Phuket bus terminal 1 near Phang Nga Road. We were here. Alex explained to me that the there were several derelict and abandoned buildings perfect for establishing a free of charge rooftop domicile in an area not too far from the resorts of Khao Lak. Phuket back then wasn’t exactly the overcrowded tourist spot it is today, but it was well on the way. I understood why. The scenery was beautiful. Long sandy beaches with small island dots in the horizon, begging to be explored. Giant limestone cliffs covered in green shrubs. It did seem like paradise to me, without being too far away from civilization. I guess despite my adventurous nature, I wasn’t quite ready at that point, to walk into the wild, which is why Khao Lak seemed perfect as a start for me.
We found the area Alex had talked about. Several derelict buildings were concentrated in a small area divided by a main street that if followed long enough, led to an area with shops and places to dine. We set our eyes on what looked like an abandoned apartment complex. It was derelict, rugged looking and it seemed clear at first that no one lived there. Its ghostly façade begged us inside to explore and we accepted the invitation. As we made our way in, through a busted window in the back, we quickly became aware that the place might not be as abandoned as we had initially thought. Several signs of squatters such as cooking utensils and sleeping mats lay scattered here and there. Alex quickly rationalized that it could just be other backpackers, or it could be the people had moved on. I shrugged and we decided to make our way to the roof. We made our way to the top floor and accessed a broken-down door that led directly out onto the roof. I must admit, besides excitement, I was somewhat hesitant. Any doubt I had disappeared when we first stepped onto the rooftop terrace. It was perfect. It seemed it had functioned as a balcony or space of sorts the inhabitants could make use of for gatherings.
The entire space was surrounded by a fence. Several palm trees shaded the northwest corner which was perfect for when things got too hot. In the middle a small shed or janitorial sort of building stood. We found some cleaning materials, brooms, some parasols in there as well as an old rusty grill. The view was great. We could see the large beachfront in the far distance surrounded by limestones. After inspecting the area and finding it to our liking we sat down, and Alex broke out a bottle of whiskey. Unaware of the horror that would later unfold here, we celebrated in the shade of the palm trees. We had found our place for a while. Our place.
After a while we decided to put some money in the local economy and shop for supplies.
Essentials: Water. Cigarettes. Booze. The devil’s lettuce. Cooking utensils. Although none of us was admittedly any much of a cook. But what the hell. Can’t be seen dining out every night when we were trying to live off the fat of the land so to speak. I know, ridiculous. We were squatters. Nothing more. But heck, we would move on if we became a problem for any one here. We weren’t trying to be a bother.
Optional but greatly wanted: A blow-up animal mascot. Maybe a dolphin if possible. Some new music for Alex’s walk-man. A guitar. Decorating artifacts of any kind to make our domicile more personal.
We more or less got everything we needed and started setting up base. Getting our hands on something funny to smoke proved the biggest challenge but Alex finally succeeded at a beachfront bar. Some friendly Norwegian dude who had connections apparently. He warned us against being too open about doing drugs, even if was ‘’just’’ marijuana. Thailand had a strict approach to drugs. We thanked him and he told us to just come back here at the bar if we needed more, he was usually around.
Afternoon was rolling around and there we were. Sitting atop Phuket. On our very own rooftop presidential suite. We decorated the place with a few things we found. Among them ‘’Arthur’’ our blow-up shark (they had no dolphins). Alex had come up with the name, I asked him why ‘’Arthur’’ but in what I had quickly come to know as typical Alex fashion he just shrugged it off. We just smoked a bit and drank some booze as the evening progressed and I told Alex about Robert and Australia and all the nasty things that could kill you there. I’m not sure why, but it had made an impression on me. Insects, rare poisonous creatures, stuff like that was nightmare fuel for me. Don’t even get me started on spiders. Alex was a bit more laid back on that front. He seemed most amused and interested in the suicide plant and wondered if some poor soul had ever mistakenly used it as toilet paper and we had a good hard chuckle over that idea. Poor soul indeed.
As night rolled on stars started popping up on a clear night the sky and I learned that Alex had a fascination with the universe. Particularly the idea of multiverses and infinite universes. What if somewhere out there we were looking back at ourselves. Slightly different but still us. Sometimes it seemed to me he longed to be anywhere else but where he was. Maybe trapped in the past he was so reluctant to share with me. Then we started talking about time. I don’t exactly remember why. I think he brought it up.
Anyway, Alex had a lot to say about time. Like how he believed our perception of time is tied to our experiences. For example, someone who spends their life not stepping up, not really taking risks or chances, just following along the stream, just following the routine, in essence, just killing time, might experience time as having moved fast when they look back, because there are simply less variety, less volume, less memories to look back on. We don’t remember routines, we remember breaking them, we remember doing new things, meeting new people, being in new places. It creates the illusion that gives time volume, that makes it seem fuller, longer. I liked that idea a lot. It made sense to me. Make sure you live life to the fullest and waste as little time as possible.
I told him about my 10th grade math teacher and how he said something about time I will never forget. Our perception of time can be measured mathematically. For example, to a 4-year-old turning 5 the transition of a year will seem much longer than it will to a 24-year-old turning 25. Because 1 in 5 is a larger fraction than 1 in 25. It blew my mind. The longer you live, the faster time seem to pass. But I agreed with him, maybe the quality and variety of the life you live and the memories you make has an affect too. Alex made a ‘’boom’’ motion with his hands around his head and laughed. We were quite stoned at that point and well, some of you might know how being stoned sometimes throws you into these philosophical conversations. It was nice. I enjoyed the ease with which I could talk to Alex about all kinds of things.
At one point I asked him a hypothetical. If he could go back in time and change just one thing, what would he do. He fell silent. I once again sensed the sadness creeping behind his eyes. It was if he was about to answer, like he was sizing me up but then shot the idea down. Time travel is impossible, so why bother was his only response and I accepted that whatever troubled him in the past, was not for me to know even if my interest only grew stronger and stronger.
I told him about my family. My overprotective mother. My father and his desperate attempts to get me interested in cars. About my older sister and my nephew. Alex nodded and asked the usual polite questions. When the subject came to my little brother his interest seemed to spark significantly. How old was he? Was I good older brother? Did I look out for him? I didn’t think much about it at the time other than finding it curious how interested he seemed to be. When we finally settled in the for night, under the starry sky, I slipped into a nightmare. It was the same I had had years earlier when I was 16. Back then I was having a hard time adjusting to the new school I had started at and maybe because of that stress I was having nightmares coupled with sleep paralysis.
I would lie in my bed, paralyzed. On my side, facing the door to my room. I often had the light on outside of the room and it would shine in through the open door. This one time , I saw dark figure approaching. Optimistically I assumed it was my mom, coming to wake me up. Although as the dark figure approached, I quickly realized this wasn’t so. No words were uttered. The eerie figure just slowly came closer, until it was right by my bed side. It sat down and I realized it was an old woman or man. It was hard to tell, because its face was literally just a mish mash of wrinkled flesh. No eyes and no mouth either. But it mumbled through its mouthless face. Speaking in tongues.
I spent some considerable time afterwards wondering what it could have been trying to communicate to me. I know of course, this was all just my mind playing tricks on me. Yet, that experience was, I suppose, my first nudge towards believing there’s more between heaven and earth than we might know. It seemed aggressive in any case. My insides were screaming as I desperately tried to wiggle myself awake as I had sometimes successfully done during paralysis. I eventually woke up. Drenched in sweat. Back then though, I had actually been in my room, and in the dream the room had stood clearly for me as it actually looked in reality which only made it seem more real. This time, I woke up next to Alex, still drenched in sweat. Alex had woken up. I had screamed in my sleep apparently. He comforted me in an almost brotherly show of affection. It took me by surprise a bit. I appreciated it, though it only made me wonder about him even more. I would have to solve the mystery behind Alex I decided. I would have to truly gain his trust. Figure him out. And I did.
Phuket 26th of December 2000. 1 day before the tsunami.
‘’Alex played the guitar a bit and I drummed up some beats. It needed some work, but not half bad. We came up with a name for our band to be as well. Subway sleepers. Based on Alex’s time sleeping in the subway of London. It was another hot perfect day on the rooftop. We talked about going climbing the next day and I can’t wait to show Alex the joys of rock climbing. Everything is peaceful here. No stress. Just living life. Smoking it up. Meeting new people. We talked some more with that Norwegian weed dude and invited him and a couple of his friends up to ‘’our’’ place for a party. Another near perfect day.’’
Looking at these diary scribbles is making me feel it all over again. The serenity of those calm worriless summer days (well it was winter back home but it felt like summer here. Strange that) leading up to disaster. Always calmest before the storm they say. This was our last day before everything changed. Before I got a lesson in humanity. In stress under crisis. Before everything I thought I knew changed forever in the meeting with something that surely shouldn’t exist in this world.
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‘’Every now and then I would stare at the murky brown water below and see several small glimpses of bright yellow popping up from and then retreating down below the surface in rhythmic fashion. Like a dance routine. Bright deadly yellow. The rotting sweet stench of death still lodged in my nostrils.’’
I had happened upon these diary pages by mistake when I was digging through old boxes in my basement. My wife had insisted, finally, that I sort out and get rid of everything I didn’t need. Now here I was, confronted with a part of my past I had tried to suppress unsuccessfully for so many years. 24 years to be exact. 24 odd years of trying to understand what exactly happened in those days when I was trapped on a rooftop in Phuket during a deadly and disastrous natural catastrophe.
24 odd years of having to dodge around questions of my abject and unwavering fear of the ocean. Well, in truth, I guess being caught in a large tsunami and witnessing immense destructive forces of nature coming directly from the great wide ocean would be a fair excuse, but it was only half the truth. It wasn’t just the waves themselves that had terrified me.
Until now, I thought the water damaged remains of the diary I kept back then was lost. I even hoped it was. I never shared this story with anyone. Partly because the horror was too fresh in my memory back then and I wanted to focus on moving on with my life and by the time I felt my mind was stabilized I had no real interest in returning to that dark part of my past. Partly because the right words always escaped me.
Mostly because I was afraid people would think I was insane. I can no longer contain this, however. I need an outlet. I spend years running from it. But I guess I can’t lie to myself anymore. Someone once told me that writing can be therapeutic. Simply putting your thoughts down on paper, or in our times, more likely in word document, can help you compartmentalize trauma. So, I’m giving it a try. I can’t pretend the events of those days in Phuket didn’t cast a shadow over everything in my life that came after.
I often think of the beach days I missed with my son when he was a boy. Days where I should’ve done dad stuff. Thrown him into the ocean. Watched him laugh his little face of as he braved the waves. Helped him build sandcastles. Gone exploring along the sandy shores in search of beached treasure in the form little rocks and the odd piece of amber. I just couldn’t. Initially I had objected to the idea of him going at all. Naturally, my wife would hear none of that and I realized reluctantly, that my fear and trauma should not rule my son’s life. Instead, my wife would go, and I would always stay home. She understood, to some degree, what I had gone through and where my fear came from.
Only to some degree. My son did not, and I fear he resented my absence on those perfect sunny days, despite my efforts to make up for it with other activities. Both he and my wife certainly noticed how closed off I was about certain parts of my past. Secrets untold, especially those who are grounded in trauma, almost inevitably turns to toxic in our systems. I’m finally ready. I just hope it isn’t too late.
I won’t lie. I’ve always had a vivid imagination although I have never had trouble distinguishing between what is real and what is not. At least until my sense of reality was forever challenged. I know these things happened to me. I know what I saw and what I experienced was real. I just don’t have a truly rational explanation for it. Yet, I swear, there was something in the water that came with that tsunami. Something deeply, deeply unnatural. Something brightly and oddly yellow. I had no other word for it than the bright yellow terror.
I had travelled to Thailand, more precisely Bangkok late December 2000. 19 years old about to turn 20. I was on one of those infamous and increasingly popular self-discovery trips. I had caught the fever. Like so many other young hopeful adventurers at the time I had seen The Beach. I had read into the wild by Jon Krakauer.
I watched Dicaprio walk the sandy shores of paradise and read on in excitement and awe as Christopher McCandles set out to become one with nature and discover himself. Kill the false being within and all that. In simple terms, I thought I’d try and find my own slice of heaven on earth. Expand my horizon. Get to know some new people. Learn something about myself in the process perhaps. I wasn’t exactly fleeing from anything, that wasn’t it. I had a loving although cuddling and overprotective family. Especially my mom would worry about me constantly (and still does).
Yes, I admit it. My parents had paved the way for me at almost every step. Made sure I got into the right schools. Made sure I never needed for money. I guess I got tired of feeling dependent on them. I stopped taking their money and saved up for the trip myself. It was time I stepped up. It was time I threw myself into the world to see what would happen. Hell of a time and place I picked for that.
The following story is based on the surviving pages of the diary I kept during the time and my own memory.
Bangkok 23rd December 2000. 4 days before the tsunami.
‘’My first day in Bangkok. Quite overwhelming but in a nice way. No one here to save me. No one here to tell me what to do. Thailand is hot and humid and there’s something in the air. I think it’s adventure. I think it’s limitless opportunity. I met a monkey in a diaper and got thoroughly beaten and lost 100 bath in a game of connect four by some 10-year-old kid. Got scammed as well though, I will have to wise up and learn the ropes. Avoid the yellow taxis. Go for the Tuk Tuks. Well, lesson learned. I met a guy who told me all kinds of terrifying things about Australia. Robert. I’m meeting him in Phuket a couple of days from now.’’
You could probably imagine the excitement bubbling within me. For the first time on my own. 19 years old. Prime of my life. In a strangely new and exotic city. Possibilities seemed endless. I still remember vividly driving off with the wind in my hair in a tuk-tuk as Bangkok unfolded before me with all its oriental mysticism and surrounding cityscapes. To be fair, I had never even seen an honest to god palm tree before as they simply couldn’t grow in the northern climate I was from.
I got myself stationed in a decent guesthouse around Khaosan Road. Everywhere I looked it seems others had gotten the same idea as me. Backpackers littered the streets and in a strange way, I felt at home amidst this quiet chaos, amidst the crowds of hopefully likeminded explorers, far, far away from home. The humidity was hitting me though, it was something I would have to get used to. It felt like a wet hot invisible blanket. Khaosan Road was perfect for me. A meeting place for young backpackers, with tons of opportunities to plan further travels. I did after all, not plan on staying in Bangkok for too long. It was just a stepping point to other adventures.
It was still early, and the humidity was clammy as hell. I was in the mood to socialize and with no real plans I simply ventured out into the streets of Bangkok, circling around the area where my guesthouse was located. It wasn’t long before the first opportunity presented itself in the form of a taxi driver calling me over. He offered to take me on a tour of the city. Foolish and naïve as I was, I indulged him. I remember how the cab driver lit up a doobie, joint, spliff, devil’s lettuce whatever you want to call it.
You know it as soon as you breathe in the air. Don’t get me wrong, I smoked myself, but letting a clearly high person drive me around the busy Bangkok traffic did not seem like a good idea. I should probably have asked to be let out that very moment, but as the kind of timid, shy type of person I was plus the desire to just go along with whatever happened come what may made me stay. Unsurprisingly I was eventually led to a store, fitted for a suit a didn’t want, and then subsequently charged an obscene amount for the cab ride. I didn’t have the courage to refuse his unreasonable demand. Noteworthy mention. That same night I heard from a fellow traveler that just recently someone had been stabbed in an argument with a cab driver. I didn’t let it get me down or drive me off course, because as you’ve probably gathered by now, I didn’t have a course.
As day turned to night and when the sun’s rays slowly disappeared behind the rooftops of Bangkok, the city itself began to transform. As if a part of it which had laid dormant, hidden away from the light, started to emerge.
Neon lights advertising different bars, people making all kinds of promises of untold pleasures and sensations. Tourists ready to party. All now filled the streets. Some seemed all too aware of what they were looking for, others simply drifted around aimlessly, in search of something unknown, something to spice up their existence. I found a small seemingly cool place called The Hangover. I swear to god, I wish to this day I hadn’t. Maybe then I wouldn’t have set my course for Phuket. In any case, I went in and pushed myself through the crowds of rowdy and loud tourists and up the bar where I ordered a Pina Colada. Please don’t judge me. I just really like coconuts and the song is pretty good as well. Standing at the crowded bar and looking around, hoping something interesting would catch my eye. But most of all, I was hoping someone would just take the first step and come talk to me.
Someone did. His name was Robert, and he was from Australia. A tall skinny and no-nonsense older guy who seemed quite experienced with all things Thailand. He eventually invited me down to his group of friends at the far back end of the bar. Robert spared no time telling me about himself. He had worked all kinds of jobs, in all kinds of places. Most recently he had worked as a guide in Phuket. Among other things he had arranged rock climbing expeditions. I probably forgot to mention, I was big into rock climbing and generally all kinds of outdoor activities back then.
I already had quite the climbing experience despite my young age. As Robert talked about all the places he’d been, he made me feel like the novice I was. That was never his intention though, as I quickly learned. He wasn’t a bragger. He just knew what he was talking about and when he laughed, he did it with his entire face and in a way that made you laugh with him and feel comfortable.
Eventually the conversation naturally gravitated towards Australia. A place I had always wanted to visit. He looked at me for a second, as if to contemplate something. Then told me to watch out for locals trying to play pranks on me. I was naturally interested in hearing more and that’s when he told me about drop bears. Supposedly drop bears are carnivorous versions of Koalas residing in trees to then drop down on unsuspecting victims and viciously attack them. We laughed quite a lot, and I admitted I would probably have believed the stories as I was a fairly naive person and the idea of hostile subspecies of koalas didn’t seem that farfetched to me. It would be typical of past me to get punked around like that. Our conversation then shifted towards Australian wildlife and fauna and the horrors residing within its diverse and complicated eco system. He told me about a plant not uncommonly referred to as the suicide plant. Dendrocnide moroides or more commonly known as stinging tree, stinging bush or gympie gympie apparently has such a nasty and painful sting it made a man commit suicide simply to escape the pain. Another dangerous inhabitant was the box jellyfish he explained.
Their sting was about as deadly as it gets. A single sting to a human will cause necrosis of the skin, excruciating pain and, if the dose of venom is large enough, cardiac arrest and death within minutes. I have always found jellyfish equal parts fascinating and equal parts frightening. Beautiful but deadly creatures. In fact, the ocean, in all its grand wide-reaching glory had always horrified me to some extent. So much unexplored space. Who truly knows what could be lurking down there? Robert quickly assured me, that as long as you take your precaution the likelihood of getting stung by a box jellyfish was rather small. They had signs up warning people against them. Generally, do not ignore these signs. They are there for a good reason.
It was getting late and before we said our goodbyes Robert suggested I meet him in Phuket, more precisely in the Khao Lak area on the 28th as that was the first day he would be able to. I thought why not? He seemed genuinely nice and knowledgeable. Just good company all around and he promised to show me the greatest climbing spots a bit away from the crowded tours. It was a start.
I would never meet Robert again. I don’t know what happened to him. Thinking back on those days leading up to the point the waves came crashing down always gives me an uneasy, sad, and melancholic feeling. The people I met in Bangkok talking about going south. Those I met in Phuket before it happened. I have no idea if they ended up as corpses floating through the murky brown waters or god forbid, victims of that unholy terror from the deep. I hope Robert wasn’t among those unfortunate souls who died or went… ‘’Missing’’. Although if I must pick one or the other. I would hope he died quickly.
Bangkok 24th of December 2000. 3 days before the tsunami.
I woke up with a slight hangover. Christmas is commonly celebrated on this date in my country, so I was expecting some calls to go through on my brick sized Nokia at some point once all the good folks back home woke up. They were about 5 hours behind me and at 9 AM Bangkok time they would still be sleeping. I used the time to do some shopping before my trip to Phuket. I got plenty of rope, a couple of snap hooks and a harness. I knew they’d have all of this on the guided tours, but I liked to find my own spots to climb, and I had good sense and knowledge enough to not attempt anything too daring. By the way. For those uninitiated, snap hooks are used to make a quick, reversible connection on a system of ropes, or to connect a rope or cord to another component, like a lanyard medallion or barrier post. Essential if you want to go climbing. If you’ve ever gone ziplining it’s the thing that connects you safely to the zipline and lets you slight across.
After having done my shopping, I bought a bus ticket to Phuket intending on leaving that same night and went back to my hotel room. As exciting as Bangkok was, I felt it was more for people intend on partying and in all honesty, a bit too crowded for me. I was excited to move on and I could always come back if I wanted to. On my way into the reception area, I was stopped by a young hip looking dude looking for a cigarette. Now I don’t necessarily consider myself a perfect judge of character, but he had an easy-going way about him that immediately drew me in. Sometimes, you can just tell.
He had sort of a rugged look about him. Dirty blond half-long hair. His face I would best describe as boyish but something in his eyes betrayed him and revealed his age to be older than you would assume. His style was… Boheme I guess I would describe it as. Like something taken out of the 70s LA scene. I’m not a smoker. Never was. So, I couldn’t help him on that front. It didn’t matter he would find someone else he said. For a while we just casually talked. Apparently, he had come to Bangkok just a few days prior and seemed about as lost and without direction as I had been before deciding on taking my chances in Phuket. Alex was his name, and he would later save my life and help me understand what it means to forge a quick and unbreakable connection through shared trauma, but I’m getting ahead of myself.
He asked me if I wanted to go somewhere and get a beer. I thought why not? He was about my age and on his own as well. I told him I had to go make some calls and I’d be out in about an hour. Back the hotel room I quickly gathered all my stuff and packed it up, so it was ready to go. My climbing gear took up the most space. I figured if things went well with Alex, I might be able to persuade him in joining me at some point in Phuket. Even though I had set out for this trip to be about discovering myself and being on my own, I longed for some kind of company. Don’t we all? I called my parents up and we wished each other a happy Christmas. It was odd to think they were somewhere nearly half-way across the world celebrating Christmas while snow draped the landscapes there. Here I was, In hot and humid paradise. No, I did not miss the cold or the snow, but I did miss not being there to celebrate the holidays with my family. But it had been my choice to go during the holiday season and I did not regret it. I had saved up enough money and there was no point in waiting anymore. There would be many other holidays to celebrate in the future.
My 5-year-old nephew somehow got a hold of the phone. Not quite the conversationalist yet, it still felt good to hear his voice. Hearing his excitement over the prospect of celebrating Christmas brought me back to my own childhood. Decorating the Christmas tree, watching holiday cartoons and of course, opening presents. I finished my calls and went out to see if Alex was ready. He was already waiting for me and had apparently managed to score some cigarettes in the meantime. He had changed his outfit as well. Now wearing a faded black doors t-shirt. We talked a bit about Jim Morrison and the doors as we headed off down streets. We passed a myriad of small stands selling everything from electronics to colorful t-shirts and small bracelets with campy misspelled English catchphrases. We dodged the many intrusive offers and eventually found a small comfy looking bar with seats outside shaded by palm trees. We ordered a couple of beers and the conversation started flowing along quite nicely. Alex was 25 and from London It turned out. We also had a common interest in music. For a while he had busked as a street musician while working odd jobs here and there and had eventually decided to travel the world.
His first stop had been India where for a while he had lived on the rooftop of some abandoned building while attempting to learn the art of playing the sitar. I thought about that for a second. Living it rough on some rooftop in India. I don’t know why that idea intrigued me so much. Seemed like freedom to me, I guess. Sleeping under the wide-open skies. Looking down on the streets and watching people go about their lives. I guess I just liked the idea of doing something that seemed different from what I had ever done before. Living on a rooftop, if even just for a while, was definitely not something I had done before. There was the view as well, Alex reminded me. And it was free of course. We drifted off into long conversations about music I won’t bore you too much with, only to let you know we shared a passion for old school music like the doors and Jimi Hendrix as well as 90s shoegaze music like My Bloody Valentine, Ride and Slowdive. I had Slowdive’s Shine playing in my mind that day. All felt so dreamy at the time.
I eventually told Alex of my plans to go to Phuket and he was onboard almost immediately. I loved how easy it was here on the road. There was no ‘’well maybe’’, or ‘’let’s think about it.’’ In fact, Alex had been to Phuket before and knew of a place we could stay for free. Another rooftop of course, but he had already sold me on the idea. From there, we could plan our next step he said. ‘’our next step’’ I don’t remember vibing with someone that quickly before or since, but then I guess making friends is always easier when you’re young and easy going. I always seemed to attract good company without much effort back then. I chalk it down to my friendly and slightly shy demeanor. Seems it only becomes harder to make friends as the years pass though. At least for me it did.
We got a bus ticket for Alex and shopped a bit more. I got some first aid supplies. Bandages, plasters, that kind of stuff. Rock climbing is safe, mind you, but you can end up scraping yourself and I felt in general, being prepared for whatever might be a good idea if I was to live it rough on some rooftop. The bus-ride to Phuket took about 12 hours give or take. By going at night, we could sleep most of the way and be in Phuket early morning on the 25th. The trip down was uneventful. We would take turns listening to music on Alex’s Walkman or talk about things we saw along the way. Like roadside bars and restaurants who were little more than a tin roof covering a few plastic chairs and brightly colored menu cards. Everything seemed simpler here, in the best ways possible.
No big flash, no fanfares or luxury. Nothing pretentious. Just a calm, laid back atmosphere and friendly smiles from the locals as we passed by. Alex told me he wanted to start a band blending elements of Shoegaze with classic rock and insisted I learn to play the drums as he had tried but found no luck. String instruments were more him he told me. I told him jokingly if he could come up with a good name, I might be down. He just nodded and looked out the window and started talking about how beef was a rare and more expensive ingredient in Thai cuisine, and I wondered about the sudden random change of subject. Although we had talked a lot during the short time we had known each other, Alex was still a mystery to me in many ways. Judging from all the things he told me he seemed like a person who dreamed big, but never really followed through
An unfinished education. Scribbles on pieces of paper that ended up gathering dust in his drawer instead of turning into a book. A band that never really took off because he lost interest or didn’t deem that it was good enough to get successful. He talked at length about leaving a legacy. It seemed to be something that concerned him. I guess he wanted to put his mark on the world. To be remembered. To live on in some small way. I had never really thought about it myself although I did have a fascination with historical people and the lives they lived. In fact, when I do read I mostly read biographies. I just never had any ambition like that myself. I don’t need the world to know my name, or sing my praises, or remember me. Good friends, family and a sense of freedom and adventure was enough. I had tried to ask Alex about his family and friends back home, but he seemed avoidant and always found a way to change the subject without really providing any meaningful information. At certain points, I sensed a carefully hidden sadness behind his otherwise optimistically youthful and bright blue gaze.
Phuket 25th of December 2000. 2 days before the tsunami.
Alex woke me up. It was 9 AM and we had arrived at the Phuket bus terminal 1 near Phang Nga Road. We were here. Alex explained to me that the there were several derelict and abandoned buildings perfect for establishing a free of charge rooftop domicile in an area not too far from the resorts of Khao Lak. Phuket back then wasn’t exactly the overcrowded tourist spot it is today, but it was well on the way. I understood why. The scenery was beautiful. Long sandy beaches with small island dots in the horizon, begging to be explored. Giant limestone cliffs covered in green shrubs. It did seem like paradise to me, without being too far away from civilization. I guess despite my adventurous nature, I wasn’t quite ready at that point, to walk into the wild, which is why Khao Lak seemed perfect as a start for me.
We found the area Alex had talked about. Several derelict buildings were concentrated in a small area divided by a main street that if followed long enough, led to an area with shops and places to dine. We set our eyes on what looked like an abandoned apartment complex. It was derelict, rugged looking and it seemed clear at first that no one lived there. Its ghostly façade begged us inside to explore and we accepted the invitation. As we made our way in, through a busted window in the back, we quickly became aware that the place might not be as abandoned as we had initially thought. Several signs of squatters such as cooking utensils and sleeping mats lay scattered here and there. Alex quickly rationalized that it could just be other backpackers, or it could be the people had moved on. I shrugged and we decided to make our way to the roof. We made our way to the top floor and accessed a broken-down door that led directly out onto the roof. I must admit, besides excitement, I was somewhat hesitant. Any doubt I had disappeared when we first stepped onto the rooftop terrace. It was perfect. It seemed it had functioned as a balcony or space of sorts the inhabitants could make use of for gatherings.
The entire space was surrounded by a fence. Several palm trees shaded the northwest corner which was perfect for when things got too hot. In the middle a small shed or janitorial sort of building stood. We found some cleaning materials, brooms, some parasols in there as well as an old rusty grill. The view was great. We could see the large beachfront in the far distance surrounded by limestones. After inspecting the area and finding it to our liking we sat down, and Alex broke out a bottle of whiskey. Unaware of the horror that would later unfold here, we celebrated in the shade of the palm trees. We had found our place for a while. Our place.
After a while we decided to put some money in the local economy and shop for supplies.
Essentials: Water. Cigarettes. Booze. The devil’s lettuce. Cooking utensils. Although none of us was admittedly any much of a cook. But what the hell. Can’t be seen dining out every night when we were trying to live off the fat of the land so to speak. I know, ridiculous. We were squatters. Nothing more. But heck, we would move on if we became a problem for any one here. We weren’t trying to be a bother.
Optional but greatly wanted: A blow-up animal mascot. Maybe a dolphin if possible. Some new music for Alex’s walk-man. A guitar. Decorating artifacts of any kind to make our domicile more personal.
We more or less got everything we needed and started setting up base. Getting our hands on something funny to smoke proved the biggest challenge but Alex finally succeeded at a beachfront bar. Some friendly Norwegian dude who had connections apparently. He warned us against being too open about doing drugs, even if was ‘’just’’ marijuana. Thailand had a strict approach to drugs. We thanked him and he told us to just come back here at the bar if we needed more, he was usually around.
Afternoon was rolling around and there we were. Sitting atop Phuket. On our very own rooftop presidential suite. We decorated the place with a few things we found. Among them ‘’Arthur’’ our blow-up shark (they had no dolphins). Alex had come up with the name, I asked him why ‘’Arthur’’ but in what I had quickly come to know as typical Alex fashion he just shrugged it off. We just smoked a bit and drank some booze as the evening progressed and I told Alex about Robert and Australia and all the nasty things that could kill you there. I’m not sure why, but it had made an impression on me. Insects, rare poisonous creatures, stuff like that was nightmare fuel for me. Don’t even get me started on spiders. Alex was a bit more laid back on that front. He seemed most amused and interested in the suicide plant and wondered if some poor soul had ever mistakenly used it as toilet paper and we had a good hard chuckle over that idea. Poor soul indeed.
As night rolled on stars started popping up on a clear night the sky and I learned that Alex had a fascination with the universe. Particularly the idea of multiverses and infinite universes. What if somewhere out there we were looking back at ourselves. Slightly different but still us. Sometimes it seemed to me he longed to be anywhere else but where he was. Maybe trapped in the past he was so reluctant to share with me. Then we started talking about time. I don’t exactly remember why. I think he brought it up.
Anyway, Alex had a lot to say about time. Like how he believed our perception of time is tied to our experiences. For example, someone who spends their life not stepping up, not really taking risks or chances, just following along the stream, just following the routine, in essence, just killing time, might experience time as having moved fast when they look back, because there are simply less variety, less volume, less memories to look back on. We don’t remember routines, we remember breaking them, we remember doing new things, meeting new people, being in new places. It creates the illusion that gives time volume, that makes it seem fuller, longer. I liked that idea a lot. It made sense to me. Make sure you live life to the fullest and waste as little time as possible.
I told him about my 10th grade math teacher and how he said something about time I will never forget. Our perception of time can be measured mathematically. For example, to a 4-year-old turning 5 the transition of a year will seem much longer than it will to a 24-year-old turning 25. Because 1 in 5 is a larger fraction than 1 in 25. It blew my mind. The longer you live, the faster time seem to pass. But I agreed with him, maybe the quality and variety of the life you live and the memories you make has an affect too. Alex made a ‘’boom’’ motion with his hands around his head and laughed. We were quite stoned at that point and well, some of you might know how being stoned sometimes throws you into these philosophical conversations. It was nice. I enjoyed the ease with which I could talk to Alex about all kinds of things.
At one point I asked him a hypothetical. If he could go back in time and change just one thing, what would he do. He fell silent. I once again sensed the sadness creeping behind his eyes. It was if he was about to answer, like he was sizing me up but then shot the idea down. Time travel is impossible, so why bother was his only response and I accepted that whatever troubled him in the past, was not for me to know even if my interest only grew stronger and stronger.
I told him about my family. My overprotective mother. My father and his desperate attempts to get me interested in cars. About my older sister and my nephew. Alex nodded and asked the usual polite questions. When the subject came to my little brother his interest seemed to spark significantly. How old was he? Was I good older brother? Did I look out for him? I didn’t think much about it at the time other than finding it curious how interested he seemed to be. When we finally settled in the for night, under the starry sky, I slipped into a nightmare. It was the same I had had years earlier when I was 16. Back then I was having a hard time adjusting to the new school I had started at and maybe because of that stress I was having nightmares coupled with sleep paralysis.
I would lie in my bed, paralyzed. On my side, facing the door to my room. I often had the light on outside of the room and it would shine in through the open door. This one time , I saw dark figure approaching. Optimistically I assumed it was my mom, coming to wake me up. Although as the dark figure approached, I quickly realized this wasn’t so. No words were uttered. The eerie figure just slowly came closer, until it was right by my bed side. It sat down and I realized it was an old woman or man. It was hard to tell, because its face was literally just a mish mash of wrinkled flesh. No eyes and no mouth either. But it mumbled through its mouthless face. Speaking in tongues.
I spent some considerable time afterwards wondering what it could have been trying to communicate to me. I know of course, this was all just my mind playing tricks on me. Yet, that experience was, I suppose, my first nudge towards believing there’s more between heaven and earth than we might know. It seemed aggressive in any case. My insides were screaming as I desperately tried to wiggle myself awake as I had sometimes successfully done during paralysis. I eventually woke up. Drenched in sweat. Back then though, I had actually been in my room, and in the dream the room had stood clearly for me as it actually looked in reality which only made it seem more real. This time, I woke up next to Alex, still drenched in sweat. Alex had woken up. I had screamed in my sleep apparently. He comforted me in an almost brotherly show of affection. It took me by surprise a bit. I appreciated it, though it only made me wonder about him even more. I would have to solve the mystery behind Alex I decided. I would have to truly gain his trust. Figure him out. And I did.
Phuket 26th of December 2000. 1 day before the tsunami.
‘’Alex played the guitar a bit and I drummed up some beats. It needed some work, but not half bad. We came up with a name for our band to be as well. Subway sleepers. Based on Alex’s time sleeping in the subway of London. It was another hot perfect day on the rooftop. We talked about going climbing the next day and I can’t wait to show Alex the joys of rock climbing. Everything is peaceful here. No stress. Just living life. Smoking it up. Meeting new people. We talked some more with that Norwegian weed dude and invited him and a couple of his friends up to ‘’our’’ place for a party. Another near perfect day.’’
Looking at these diary scribbles is making me feel it all over again. The serenity of those calm worriless summer days (well it was winter back home but it felt like summer here. Strange that) leading up to disaster. Always calmest before the storm they say. This was our last day before everything changed. Before I got a lesson in humanity. In stress under crisis. Before everything I thought I knew changed forever in the meeting with something that surely shouldn’t exist in this world.