Song for my boyfriend birthday

for my space boyfriend

2012.03.26 12:13 for my space boyfriend

The subreddit about everyone's favorite Turian that is open to conversation, art, etc relating to not only Garrus Vakarian but any Turian character, the fictional Turian species and their government, ideals, society, history and military/navy
[link]


2008.10.28 06:24 Piano

All things piano related!
[link]


2011.08.26 20:52 randomdesigner r/cakeday: Enjoy your complimentary karma.

This is the community where you can celebrate your cakeday! Post a link and enjoy your gift of karma!
[link]


2024.05.19 11:46 Cute-Walrus1969 AITA for cutting off friend leaving her with basically no one left.

Hi queen petty potato :), names used are fake. I am dyslexic so I apologise in advance.
I 26(female) and friend Lola 28(female) met because of a mutual Friend Kat 27(female) who I was in the sixth form college classes with at age 17, me and kat got pretty close but she was 18 so she could go out to clubs and bars on the weekend to which I could not yet.
I met Lola a few weeks after my 18th birthday as her birthday was pretty close to mine, Kat asked me if I wanted to go to Lola's birthday party, On first meeting Lola she was kind of cold didn't seem to interested in getting to know me, fast forward a few weeks and me and kat were going out a lot and Lola seem to warmed up to me, Kat did let me know Lola can take time to warm up to people But she did and everything seemed completely fine with us.
Now here's where I should of clocked why she is like this kat and Lola would tell me stories of them in secondary school that they were always falling out or there group of friends changed quite often due to people falling out with Lola, it was all because of boys Lola loved them and basically always wanted to be the centre of attention when boys were around, I had a boyfriend at the time so she basically didn't feel I was as a threat to her as the others (her words not mine).
Well I broke up with said boyfriend as we grow a part, the break up was a little hard as it was my first relationship but kat and Lola were really there for me, I did start to notice Lola would get snappy with me for what I would wear out at party's or clubs but I put it down to this guy Matt who was messing her about a bit and we would see him and his friends all the time, I did get attention from Matt's friends but I liked his friend Joe not Matt as he seemed like a bit of dickhead because how he would treat Lola.
Lola didn't like any of my other friends whom I had known longer as they were friends from my primary school or any new girls she would we meet and would get mad and start arguments with me and Kat when we were hanging out with other people, she got pregnant and would always complain we were always going out when she couldn't, and basically would call us bad friends and unknow calls us and anyone we were with stay silent on the phone to see if we were out as we would lie sometimes because we did want the arguments, she could be pretty selfish as I was not really local to her and would travel to her and she would make no effort to do the same.
This went on for years until I basically said to Lola I don't want to be to be friends it's exhausting and I'm to old going over the same argument, here is where I might be an asshole at this point no one was talking to her not even Kat, so basically I know she has no one at this point other then the latest guy in her life. she calls me and texts me daily saying I'm throwing 8 year friendship away.
Am I the asshole here or could I be more understanding of her feelings.
submitted by Cute-Walrus1969 to CharlotteDobreYouTube [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 10:54 insanebraincrane What is wrong with my approach to love? M/26 22F

Hey,

This is gonna be long-winded and probably incoherent, but I just need to get this off my chest and if you have any insight regarding why it's constantly happening to me I'd love to hear it.
I consider myself a pretty introverted guy, but I've generally had no issues talking with girls and getting dates, more so recently of course, since I've been growing more comfortable in my own skin. I'm definitely a romantic, I never understood the attitude of guys that treat girls like trash, that just doesn't compute in my head. If I love something, I'm going to take care of it to the best of my ability.
I think we have all had that experience of "the one that got away", well mine was no different. The girl I met when I started uni was special, she was drop dead gorgeous, completely my type, witty and cracked jokes like I would, we finished each other's sentences, we had the same ideas and ambitions. Everything was going great, I was on cloud nine and I never even thought about this like that, but this girl made me think that she's the one I'm gonna marry. We were celebrating new year's at a mutual friend's house and we hooked up, it was phenomenal. Literally 2 days later she ghosts me out of nowhere, I panic. I reach out to talk to her face to face to see what's going on. She obliged reluctantly and word for word said "I'm sorry it's not going to work, you are too good for me".
Now, I've had my heart broken a few times by this point, but this... This was devastating.
I went to a dark place in my own mind, stopped talking with everyone, started doing drugs and generally engaging in self-destructive behavior. It was really hard accepting the fact that my best was never enough for her, I blamed myself constantly, I cried dozens of times alone outside. Whenever a song came up on the radio that reminded me of her my whole mood changed, even if it was jolly prior. I generally am able to keep a cool and straight face when I'm around family as I never want to talk about my own problems, mostly because I know that if I do I will fucking meltdown so I steer clear, I never want them to feel sorry for me, but even they thought something weird was going on and kept asking me questions.
It took me a good 3 years to accept what happened and start trying to move on, as you can imagine my confidence was shattered for that whole time and my self-worth was at an all time low. I started dating again, but not to find love, I don't believe in that anymore, just for sex and to feel wanted. I would tell girls what they wanted to hear, hook up and bail. Hell, sometimes they only wanted sex too, that was optimal. If I didn't get intimate with a girl on the 2nd date I would just look for someone else, I never wanted to put in any effort into actually cultivating anything meaningful or fulfilling. I would always feel like shit when I would pump and dump, because deep down I know what I was doing and that it wasn't me, but I also craved the satisfaction. Looking back, I was definitely perpetuating my own trauma.
Now, I used mainly dating apps, sometimes just start texting people I knew. But a few weeks ago I was at the supermarket and just on my phone walking, when some girl just ran in front of me at speed and knocked me off balance for a moment, she just glanced back at me and I saw how pretty she was, it sent a shock down my body. She was hurrying to get some beer, which I respected and admired. When we were on our way out I approached her to talk to her, told her she caught my eye and asked for her number. She gave me the digits, but she was so flabbergasted it was really funny and cute. We went on a date the next day, she's amazing, we mesh so well together. She's smart and responsible, takes care of her parents same as I do, we found a lot in common. I was thrilled, I never approached anyone like this and the time I felt that I had to do it - it paid off in a big way. I was falling for her and she was for me.
We went on dates, we had fun, talked and walked a lot. I bring her lunch to work, flowers sometimes. She was celebrating a sister's birthday one evening and I had taken her from the place to her apartment, she said she wanted me to stay the night, so I did. It was glorious, we both had a great time.
After that she ghosted me, she doesn't text me first anymore. I have to show all the initiative now, whenever I try to set up dates she's busy. To be fair she is pretty busy, she has 2 jobs and she's one of those people like me that don't pull out their phone when hanging out with someone, just not that attached to technology which I really vibe with. She spends a lot of time with her family, she has sisters and cousins that are all the same age and they hang out in the evenings at her place or at her sister's place and I trust that she's not lying. I've met her cousins, they are all really sweet. But I just feel like she's lost interest in me, I keep trying to get something going but her response times are getting longer and longer.
Honestly I've never seen a switch flip so suddenly, it's like she's a different person now. We used to be so intimate, not only in a sexual way but she would sleep on my chest, hug me in her sleep, squeeze me and not let me go, now she barely gives me any attention. It feels like I'm a burden on her right now. She told me that she has always had trouble with relationships because she's so busy with work and it never worked due to this, but I also feel like she could make time for me if she wanted to, but just chooses not to. I feel like I'm about to get my heart annihilated again.
I don't want to lose her, she made me believe in love again. I truly love this girl and want to build my future with her. I keep fighting the urge to reach out to her and try to make it work, but I think that pulling back might be the best play, however painful it might be right now.
Why is it that always when something good happens to me it never lasts.. Always disappointment after disappointment. What is wrong with me?
submitted by insanebraincrane to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 10:48 Individual_Cook5855 AITA for telling my estranged parents to never contact me again after they reached out to apologize?

Throwaway,
I (29m), my parents divorced when I was 7. After the divorce, I initially lived with my mom and spent weekends with my dad. When I was 9, my mom moved in with her boyfriend, and I was sent to live with my dad. At first, it was fine because my mom would regularly meet with me, but over time, those visits became less.
When I was 12, my dad introduced me to his girlfriend, who I could tell didn't like me. I didn't understand why. By then, I was only seeing my mom once every three months or so. My dad told me to get used to his girlfriend, but we never really got along. A year later, my dad told me I would be living with my grandmother (his mom) from now on because his girlfriend was pregnant and wanted a calm house. I was angry and caused a scene. His girlfriend told my dad that I was always like this around her, which was a lie, but my dad believed her and shipped me off to my grandmother.
I told my mom I wanted to live with her, but she said she and her partner traveled the world all the time and that I needed to stay put for school. So, I lived with my grandmother. My parents occasionally checked in on me, meeting me on my birthday or sending essentials until I was 16. After that, the contact became even less frequent—no birthday calls or money for essentials. My grandmother had to go back to work to support me.
I had no idea that my dad had married his girlfriend and had two other kids or that my mom had gotten married and had twins until my grandmother told me. I started to resent both of them, but my sweet grandmother kept me grounded. She provided for me, ensured I graduated, and helped me get into a good college.
When I turned 18, as a gift to her, I changed my last name to her maiden name. She wasn't happy initially but accepted it later. My parents hadn't contacted me or grandmother for over a year and a half at that point. I went to college, graduated, got a good job, got engaged, and have generally had a good life. I haven't spoken to my parents in all this time. My grandmother passed away four years ago, I tried to text and call the only phone number I had of dad but it didn't go through and I was the only family member at her funeral.
Recently, I got an email from my dad and mom asking to meet and reconnect. I don't know how they got my personal email. My dad says he wants to apologize and attend my wedding, and his kids want to meet their big brother. He also mentioned that my mom wants to meet me and apologize as well. He even had the audacity to write that he was disappointed in me changing my last name but "understood it." He didn't even ask about his own mother. I've already moved on without them, hit multiple milestones in my life and career without their support, so I sent a reply stating I don't know him or my mom, added a few other harsh words, and told them never to contact me again.
I told my fiancée, who comes from a big family and is very family-oriented, and she was upset, saying I was too harsh. She believes I should give them a chance since it's been so long. We had huge argument about this. She kept saying how family is important and I should forgive and forget. Now, I have a feeling she might be involved with them and she might be the one who gave them my email. I talked to my close friends and all of them say I am justified on my stance but my fiancée's outburst is making me think about it.
submitted by Individual_Cook5855 to AITAH [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 10:30 sunflower99_ Am I in the wrong for holding grudges against the ppl that hurt my friends/family/partner?

My (25F) girlfriend and I (24NB) were planning on having just one birthday party for the both of us next month, since our birthdays are only days apart and I'm going to be visiting her (we are long distance) for the week. We thought it was a good idea to have it together. The ppl invited are just her group of friends (for obvious reasons) whom I get along pretty well and already knew beforehand. The issue came around later when she asked me if she could invite another friend to the party that's not really in the group chat, and I told her that since this is a celebration for the both of us, I wouldn't be comfortable with that.
Now, the thing is, I don't like this particular friend at all because of some stuff he did and said in the past (about my gf). They fought and fell apart for a couple of months last year and then at the beginning of this one, after blocking her and removing her from his social media and bad-mouthing her, he asked her to reconnect and talk about it. Apparently a mutual friend convinced him. My gf accepted this and went to have dinner with him and they did talk about it, he apologized for being an asshole but told her that he was just waiting for her to reach out (cause she used to do that when they fought before and now she didn’t). At the end, she told him that they couldn't go back to what they were, but they could see how things go. She asked for my opinion on this and I told her that based on the things he said at the meeting and all that, I wouldn't really trust him, but at the end of the day it was her choice and I'd respect whatever she decided on, whether they are friends again or just acquaintances. That doesn't mean I don't have my own thoughts about it though. He was an immature asshole and he hurt her and made her cry. She was dealing with a lot of intrusive thoughts and had depressive episodes after all went down. I understand she wants to forgive him, and I actually like how she can put all behind them and move on, but I'm not really like that.
Anyways, that was it. She told me she wouldn't want to hang out with him like just the two of them like before, but that she wouldn't avoid him if he happen to be in the same place or hanging out with the same friends.
As far as I know, they haven't been talking at all. But now she told me she wants to invite him to the birthday party and wanted to know how I felt about it. And I was honest. I don't like him and I would rather not see him, if it can be avoided. I wouldn't have said anything if it was just her party, of course, because she has the right to invite whoever she wants, but since it was a celebration for the both of us and since she asked, I guess I thought it would've been nice to have a say and all that. This didn't really sit right with her.
We had a huge fight about it and she told me she wanted to invite him anyways, and if I didn't want him there bc it was my birthday as well, we should do two separate parties so she can invite him to hers. Under normal circumstances, that would've been fine by me. But as I established before, we are long distance. None of my friends or family are going to celebrate with me there, so I think the idea is rather dumb; the only person who's not going to be invited to mine is him, the rest of the guests would be the same and really, would they even want to go to two different reunions with a two day difference just because of this one person? At the end, I told her it was fine and I would just bear with it. I'm not an immature person who's going to fill the room with negative energy just because of this, and the things he did are not really unforgivable crimes to the point I wouldn't want to be in the same room as him. He's just an asshole and a bad friend. I didn't really like the fact that she asked me like I had a choice at all, because at the end it was either we invite him or you make your own party outside of mine, but anyways.
So, that's solved. I can compromise on that and I also understand her point, I guess, since at the end of the day he is (was?) one of her closest friends. I don't know.
The thing that has been bothering me now is that after all of this went down, we talked about it more deeply and she told me that it doesn't make sense that I would hold a grudge towards the people that are in her life, cause the problems she has have all to do with her and whoever that person is and not, well, me.
And I don't really know how to feel about that? I had issues with some friends in the past and ex partners that were toxic, and the ppl around me despise them. I have a complicated relationship with my mom as well, and most of them hold resentment towards her for that reason and I'm aware of this. These problems are none of their business, I know, but I thought it was normal to watch them react to it and form their own opinions toward those people because they hurt me. And I'm dear to them. And it's the same the other way around. If you hurt my friends, I don't like you, whether you are a family member or an ex boyfriend or a toxic friend.
I asked her what does she think about the ppl that hurt me, and she told me she doesn't have any kind of resentment towards them because is not her place. She might not like them bc of their actions, but that's about it. If I decide to forgive them, she welcomes them back into her life as well.
So now I'm wondering, is it wrong of me to hold grudges against someone who hurts the people who are dear to me? Am I the asshole? Should I stop?
I have spoken about this to my friends but I think I need a little more perspective, cause they all behave the same way I do when we are talking about this particular topic.
submitted by sunflower99_ to AITAH [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 10:21 RealAd1811 I think I offended my boyfriend’s family, how do I recover?

I am 31F and dating a 34M. I live in a city and he lives with family in a small rural town one hour away. He has 3 siblings, 2 sisters. The eldest sister lives a 17 hour drive away.
We have been dating 2 years. I was invited to his older sisters baby shower in January, which was 17 hours away. I was offered a ride with his younger sister and aunt but declined and sent a gift, as I was so wiped from the holidays and would have to take off work. I was also not confident about my ability to socialize for so long and I didn’t know them very well, I know my social battery is low and I would be probably mute because I just am not very social and it would be a long time together. My boyfriend wasn’t going. I’m not sure if his older sister holds that against me or not.
Yesterday I was invited to his nieces birthday, I went early Saturday, it was an hours drive away. It was nice except his mom who has mental illness and recently divorced their dad came and no one expected that, and my boyfriend and her don’t get along. I had only met his mom one other time almost 2 years ago. My mom also has mental illness so I understand. I have nothing against her!!! I would love to get along with a future in law. But when my boyfriend and I walked in I said hi, and she looked at us and said to my boyfriend, “I am not a stalker” and walked away, and it was pretty awkward.
His older sister and her husband and their new baby flew in to come to the party!
So anyways the party was fun and lovely. I found out there was a wedding reception of his cousins that night. I had no idea about it, I thought my boyfriend and I would go back to my place Saturday night and spend Sunday together like always. But I said I’d go and I went and bought an outfit in his town and went to the reception! It was nice, it was for someone on his mom’s side of the family which I’d never met!
His sister told us at the reception that their mom said I gave her a dirty look, which I didn’t or didn’t mean to! She didn’t say it like she believed I did, but like their mom was starting drama. But their mom is ill and has a lot of negative thoughts about everyone. But it made me feel bad :(
I was feeling shy at the reception, and didn’t dance until the very end to one song awkwardly. His older sister was trying to get my boyfriend to dance, but he wouldn’t, and she said he always does, and it seemed like she was thinking that he wouldn’t dance because I was there, because I didn’t want to. I felt bad.
I was quiet a lot, I think I came off as not wanting to be there? I don’t know! I hope not. But I find socializing hard and I feel I put my foot in my mouth several times.
SO his older sister who flew in found out about a graduation party the next day, Sunday, and invited us all. And also they decided they are going out for their dad’s birthday Sunday evening. His sister invited us and it was sooo loud in the reception I wasn’t hearing everything of what people were saying. My boyfriend said we might be able to make it to the grad party, and I was like yeah I think so I think, but it might have seemed I didn’t want to, but I hope not. They were like, how far is it to your house? How long of a drive tonight and tomorrow? And were like that’s not that far.
So when we left the reception, his older sister was like, you guys should come, I hope to see you there. I thought I saw her roll her eyes at me for being noncommittal. I talked about it with my boyfriend after and said I’d like to go. I really have no idea who the grad party is for and don’t know if my boyfriend wants to go to that, but I definitely want to go to his dad’s bday dinner.
I just felt like his sister was not liking that she felt I didn’t want to do these things tomorrow. I kind of don’t want to but totally will. I hate that I seemed like I didn’t want to. I just had a really rough week at work working overtime and my work is abusive and I’ve been looking for another job, and Saturday day is my chore day but I was at the birthday party, I haven’t gone grocery shopping or done laundry. Which whatever.
His sister also encouraged me to do the single ladies bouquet toss, it was me and like 7 10 and under girls. It got tossed really far away from me and I didn’t run for it as o had all these little girls in front.
TLDR: Why am I like this? I believe I have offended his family and made them not like me. I don’t feel like a very likable person. I typically like to know plans ahead of time but don’t want to turn down these invites, I will go and want to make a good impression. Please help me get my head straight. I fear my boyfriend’s family doesn’t really like me, and thinks I don’t like them or that my boyfriend needs someone more social who fits in.
submitted by RealAd1811 to Advice [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 10:15 nobraincells888 Best Lightsabers That Give The Most Bang For Your Buck?

Hi everyone, so I know basically nothing about Star Wars. My boyfriend though, he LOVES Star Wars. He has a lot of nostalgia for the original trilogy especially. His birthday’s coming up and I recently landed a pretty cushy job that gives me a little extra money to spend, so I want to get him something cool! Any suggestions for nice lightsabers that I can easily get my hands on in Vancouver? Preferably I’d like something that you’re able to move around and play with like a real saber, somewhere around ~$100-200
submitted by nobraincells888 to Lightsaber [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 10:11 AlwaysUnrequitedlove Im taken but inlove with another guy

I’m a 15yr female Freshmen and have a crush on a guy even though I have a boyfriend. I know it sounds wrong, because it is, but I’ll explain further. Over this past year I have started developing feelings for a guy in my 6th period World cultures class. I’m just gonna use his initial, F. F is 15 turning 16 this summer and is the class clown. He’s so cute and in the beginning of the school year we would make eye contact a lot. He has messy blonde hair, which he’s always fixing in class, and two pretty blue eyes I love to get lost in. He’s so funny and though I was going to switch from World cultures in my 2nd quarter I chose not to just because of F being in there. In December I got his snap from my friend A and started trying to befriend him. I admired him a lot cause I was supper shy and seeing him just be himself was fun and wanted me to try and loosen up more. I swear he would walk into class and the room would brighten up. Whenever he gets embarrassed he hides his face in his hoodie and keeps that stupid ADORABLE smile on his face! In February I Gifted him a valentine to show my appreciation for him being such a nice guy and he was sweet about it. But then apparently this girl named Kate who he was talking(?) to at the time found out. And she hated me after. I didn’t know of this yet but her friends would sit by my locker eat day and when I went to go get my stuff from it they would make fun of me. I felt so upset cause I really have a hard time with my insecurities and Since I’m sensitive and would cry often because of it. I eventually just decided to just carry around the extra pound of stuff in my bag every day so I wouldn’t pass them. Then out of the blue F had blocked me. I felt so hurt and upset because he was the first friend I ever made by myself and I really valued him as a person in my life. I spent the week in tears and it didn’t make it better that he would then stare at me in class, almost like he was waiting to see how I would react to it. A week later I contact him on titkok and tell him that I was sorry if I made him uncomfortable and that I could switch classes if nessasary(due to my 504 i would’ve been granted permission to do so) He replied that I did nothing wrong and it was just he started talking to someone and they had him block me. I wished him luck on a concert he had coming up and then left him completely alone for days because I just couldn’t face him. I didn’t know what I had done to his girl but I felt so guilty I would get sick, I have a pretty weak stomach, I would throw up in the bathroom and cry a lot throughout the weeks. What made it worse is that my friend Z had at the time recently passed away, and since F was one of my favourite ppl to talk to that I trusted I was even more upset that I couldn’t talk to him. Then two weeks later as I’m finally trying to get over it Mr F unblocks me, throughout that whole week his friends had been snapping me stuff about how Felix was upset and wanted to unblock me but was afraid to(which I don’t understand it’s not like I bite). When he did it was a Thursday and he had a school concert I watched. He was on electric guitar. It was firefly’s by owl city, aka one of my fav songs. I loved watching him play, I was happy as a puppy😁 but then when I went to the bathroom to check my hair, my ex friend Madi came in. She asked if I liked him and I just got flustered. She then said he had said he liked her so it didn’t matter and she might say yes to him. I was confused because I had JUST been blocked because of his last talking stage! So how would he have also recently confessed to Madi? I go in 6th period and walk right up to him, I was a bit nervous cause I had to look up higher to meet his gaze. I asked if he had recently told Madi he had a crush on her in the past 2-3 weeks and he looks me in the eye and says no. I said “alr thanks“ and went back to talk to my friend. Either him or mad was lying, and I assumed madi but then oohhhhh then after school he admitted to confessing to her. It's 3:00am(quiet literally) and I'm at 10 percent, this is part one but I'll complete the rest tomorrow
submitted by AlwaysUnrequitedlove to Crushes [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 10:08 Lolaloller What's everyone's dream lego

Basically as the title said, if you could have any lego what would it be? I'm trying to think of a nice gift for my boyfriends birthday
submitted by Lolaloller to legostarwars [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 10:05 ggwplucky [Abandoned Pools] Sony Connect Track by Track Interview

[Abandoned Pools] Sony Connect Track by Track Interview
A while back I was messing around with the Wayback Machine & came across this diamond in the rough on AP's MySpace page. Also found some photos, but most importantly, a track-by-track [Armed To The Teeth] interview from Sony Connect that they did back in '05 (presumably around the same time they did the Sony Connect set with the acoustic songs).
In the interview, Tommy tells the story behind each track on Armed To The Teeth (except Lucky). You'll also find tidbits about the process, lyrically & sonically of these songs, and much more!
If you want to read it/see it from the "raw" source and discover more, here's a link with the Wayback's capture I found on the interview blog: https://web.archive.org/web/20071005015435/http://www.myspace.com/abandonedpools
Now without further ado, the Sonic Connect Interview:
A track by track discussion of Armed to the Teeth from the Sony Connect Store interview:
LETHAL KILLERS TW: As far as how that [demo of the] song was constructed ... I did this trick where I would take a half-time drum loop and sort of nudge it one way and then put in another track and nudge it the other, and we got this sort of double time, rolling drum feel. So that - plus the sort of round-robin type of guitar parts that we have going - was sort of a very easy construction for a song. And then you start moving the bass part around, and, boom, you've got a song.
But I think that lyrically - I want to make it clear that that song isn't necessarily [about] "church is bad, government's bad." I think it's a little bit more complicated than that, though sometimes if you mix the two of religious power and government power, that can be bad for both of them. And I kinda like the idea of not living a life saying, "Well, you better live life in a certain way because then, you know, everything's gonna be great later in heaven." You know, the idea of, like, if this is all we have now, if that idea was just a little bit more embraced, our world could be a little bit better. I just find that a little bit more satisfying, too, if you think like, this is all you have and then you're gonna die. [Laughs] It seems a little bit more like, "Oh, okay, well!" instead of, like, thinking that there's some other life at some other time and you can put things off.
RABBLE TW: Well, a lot of the songs on this record - about two-thirds of it - have to do with a relationship I had that went south, and you know when you go through relationships you always have such a good 20/20 hindsight about things. And I think "Rabble" is just trying to basically say to somebody, "I just wanted to know you better" . . . It's just one of those things where, with this relationship in particular, I wish it would have turned out better. And there's a lot of things that happened that shouldn't have happened, and it's just sort of one of those "oh, what could have been?" scenarios.
THE CATALYST TW: "The Catalyst" is definitely along the same lines. I think the main line in that one is "I wish I could say something beautiful to make you fall in love again." There's a Coachella reference in there, too: "Love has slowly faded away like spotlights shining into space." Have you ever been to Coachella? Of course you have. You know, there's all those spotlights that shoot up in the air. I just thought that was kinda cool, like, how far do those lights really go? "The Catalyst" was also the last song written for the record. It was demoed while we were in the studio. And it's one of those songs that I said two-thirds of the record was written for somebody. That's one of them.
TIGHTER NOOSE TW: "Tighter Noose" is the oldest song on the record by far. It was probably written back in '99, 2000, or somewhere in there. I was thinking about it for the first record [2001's Humanistic], but it didn't really fit in with those kind of songs, so I kept it around and we'd even play it live occasionally. I think it fits in with these songs way better. [As for what "Tighter Noose" is about,] that song is one of those breaking-off-on-your-own- what-have-you-got-to-lose kind of things, because that was written sort of in the wake of when I was in The Eels. It wasn't a terribly happy situation, so I was like, well screw it, I'm just gonna go off and do my own thing. And then it's sort of like, well, you know: "I'm gonna go start my own thing. Uh, I have to learn to sing and write songs now." [Laughs] It's kinda funny: "Screw you guys! I'm gonna go get a deal!" And then like, "Uh oh." But really, I'm a firm believer in that [idea that] you just gotta go for it. And so it was like, well, this is gonna be difficult, but it's gonna be better than what I had before. And actually, with some distance on that situation, I realized I made the right decision and made a lot more money and was a lot more happy as a result. So that was sort of a leap of faith, you know. I didn't want to be someone's stupid bass player. Now I'm my own stupid bass player.
WAITING TO PANIC TW: There was a lull between record companies. The first record [Humanistic] was on Extasy - I don't know if you know about that company, but we were basically the poster-child for the implosion of an indie label. I came off the road in 2002, the label's folding, and I'm like, well, I'm just gonna go back and give this my best shot and we'll get another deal. It seemed highly unlikely, but we ended up doing it. And there was just a lull in there where nobody was interested. I had attorneys not returning my phone calls - that kinda stuff. It felt like, I'm just waiting around and I'm really anxious. So that was a song of frustration that was written and demoed all in one day - it was a song that just came out of me in like eight hours. We also put an EP out [The Reverb EP] and on the EP is the version of that demo that I did in one day. It doesn't happen [like that] very often. Usually I build bed tracks and come back to it a few weeks later and add something, and then come back a couple of days later. This one was all in one shot.
HUNTING TW: My friend Ross Golan, who has his own band Ross Golan and Molehead, had been following the wake of the relationship. He's like, "You just gotta write her a song and use her name." And I'm like, nah, nah, it's not covered enough. And he's like, "No, just do it. Go for it." So I did. I wrote this song and I wrote it for her for her birthday and I used her name, which is in the first lyric of the song, which is "Ginny." So I just went for it and wrote it. It was basically a birthday gift, and it was basically saying, like, you know, "Oops!" [Laughs] It didn't get me very far, but I like the song. We're friends, she's a good girl, absolutely, but back at that time, it was kinda like, "Erraaghhh! Here's a song!" But I like the song and I just think it was one of those times where I was really putting myself out there, and I know she liked it, too. But then, I think that's a myth where you just write a song and all of a sudden the girl just says, "Oh! Okay!" But, you know, hey. There it is. It's on the record.
That's the romantic notion of how they'll react to the song, at least.
TW: Exactly. And I'm really glad we're past that whole ironic phase, which I was part of with The Eels, where everything was super ironic and we'd play "The Macarena" on stage - [sarcastically] and that was funny! I'm glad we're through all that stuff, even though I was still a Beck fan when he was doing all that stuff, too. But I like being sincere and sappy and romantic. I kinda think that's a great thing.
ARMED TO THE TEETH TW: This is one of the first songs written when we came off the road and I had a lot of momentum. If you look at the state of the industry you can see a lot of corporations that seem to have to buy everything in sight. They just have to own everything, and to what purpose? Does it really make the industry much better? No. There's fewer outlets, there's a lot more gatekeepers. They want to buy stuff and it just kinda makes things bad for everybody. All the radio stations play the same shit - except for Indie 103.1 and KCRW in L.A. In spite of it all, I'm just gonna try to do my best and have a career anyway. When we came off the road I felt like I had a lot of momentum. Performing live is inspiring to writing, so it was just the whole idea of, "Alright, now that I have one record under my belt, I'm gonna really go for it in spite of all the forces that be." Even though they're pretty much indifferent to us, [laughs] their actions do affect us. It's sort of a song of bravado.
Why did you also choose "Armed To The Teeth" as the name of the album, too, which, in turn, implies it as the overall theme?
TW: Yeah, which is funny, since I kinda decided on that theme early on, thinking I was gonna go in a certain way, but then, like I said, two-thirds of the record is love songs. So "Armed To The Teeth" doesn't really fit in a certain way, but I also liked it just because [of] that idea of, like, now I'm really ready to make a record, and also I think it reflects the state of the country a little bit. Everything's a little bit aggressive, we're at war, and I thought it was sort of timely in that way
SOONER OR LATER TW: "Sooner Or Later" is another one of those tracks that was written after we got signed, so it's a newer song. I mentioned that sort of double time drum loop thing with "Lethal Killers" - this is the same thing. It's a half time drum loop that I nudged in one direction and then put in another track and nudge it in the other, then "boom," it's double time. And I like that, it's a good effect. It really sets up this kind of overlapping, rolling sound that a real drummer can't do. And things flam a little bit, and I really like that feel, so this song was constructed in the same manner where you have a rolling drum loop and then you put over a couple of guitar parts here and there and all of a sudden you got a song - I think this song is over six minutes. This is, um, I guess it's a couple things. Lyrically, it's sort of saying, like, whatever you do or whatever you say, there's no point in hiding anything because it all comes out in the end - which is the tagline in the chorus. There's no hiding. And in the verse it says, "Sooner or later / It's all coming down." In some way or another, whether you acknowledge it or if it just eats at your self, you can't really get away with anything. It's sort of fatalistic that way, but also in terms of, like, seeing how I also look at as a bigger picture of, like, politically, and since we're at war right now, it seems like things are getting a little scary. And that's kind of like one of those doomsday scenarios. If you look around a little you can really freak yourself out if you're reading about, like, bio-warfare and things like that. So a lot of this talk about "smoking gun in the shape of a mushroom cloud" and all that, it sort of brought up for me a lot of doomsday scenarios. So it's two-fold: it's that doomsday scenario, in terms of as far as the world is concerned, and then, personally, if you do stupid shit then you're eventually gonna pay for it somehow.
SAILING SEAS TW: Like "Hunting," this is probably the most direct, out-there storytelling song. Instead of using her [real] name, it's switched to "Holly," which is in the chorus. So it's another one of those songs talking straight to somebody. And there's a lot of details in there that I wouldn't talk about in normal conversation. That's the funny thing about songwriting where I wouldn't talk about this, but then I can put it in this song and you can still hear it and you still understand, but it's sort of masked a little bit. It's presented in a certain way where it's somehow okay to say that when you're in a major key or something. Because like, the second verse is about pretending you're outside a room listening to somebody [you love] have sex [with someone else], and that's a situation to put yourself into to really torture yourself. I created this scenario in my head and I put it in a song, and it's kinda brutal, but the [beat of the] song is upbeat and happy.
RENEGADE TW: This is a sample-based type song [with] drum loops. The cello was originally a Bjork sample and we replaced it. This one is sort of hard to explain. To me it’s just sort of like just a creation, because some of the record is social commentary, and I think there's a lot of that in this song, and it's like little snippets and ideas, and not necessarily one unifying idea. I think it's just kind of a song based on looking around and taking stock of things. This song in particular isn't really even about anything. It's just, like, observations, pretty much. And, oh, by the way, Billy Howerdel, the guitarist from A Perfect Circle, is playing guitar on that song. He jumped on that track and he's the one that makes it sound scary.
MAYBE THEN SOMEDAY TW: That was one of the first songs written in the wake of the breakup. It was one of those kind of "well-it-just-didn't-work-out-but-maybe-one-day-we'll-see-what-happens" kind of things. Because the circumstances are such that it wasn't gonna happen immediately so I was kinda like, well, we'll see. I don't have much to say about that; it's just grouped in with "songs about her."
GOODBYE SONG TW: That was also written when there was not a lot going on for me and we hadn't really nailed down the record deal. She [Tommy's ex-girlfriend] always thought she was bad luck - she'd show up and bad things would start happening - so she thought it was her fault that I hadn't got a deal. She actually moved away and soon as she did, we got a deal. [Laughs] I think it's funny to sort of say, like the first line of the song is "I'm not washed up / And you're not bad luck for anyone," so, you know, get off the ledge, really. And it's just one of those things; it's one of those yearning songs. I think with a lot of those songs there's a certain amount of effort spent on presenting evidence, like, "Look, I know this is how you feel, but look at all the other stuff." It's almost like making a case for your self [in a song]. And like I said, it didn't get me far, but it's still a good venting process. And I sort of realize when I say things like, "I wrote this for her" or whatever, it's not really for her. It's more self-indulgent to get this stuff out. And in a way you're saying, "Yeah, I wrote this song for you," but no, you wrote it for yourself so you could say things that you felt like saying. So I realize that and I think I realized that while I was writing them, but my job is to write songs so you take from what's around you to make it happen.
submitted by ggwplucky to AbandonedPools [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 09:40 ozitro8 How do I tell him what being prioritized mean?

Hi readers! My boyfriend (M27) and I (M34) moved in together six months ago. To be more accurate, he moved in to my apartment. Ever since, we have been fighting and arguing a lot because our values and views on a relationship seems to be different when it comes to prioritizing.
I don’t feel fully prioritized, and it is hard for me to really pin point what is that I need, mainly because I know I have a lot of trauma in my life and sometimes I doubt myself and wonder if I feel how I feel because of my own insecurities.
He loves his family and friends and he is vocal about it. He talks very high about them and he is always doing and planning for them. His family lives 5 hours away in train and that doesn’t stop him from meeting them once or twice a month. In fact this month he has seen them 4 times. He would do everything for his family.
The same goes for his friends, his whole energy and personality changes when it comes to do something with his friends, he is super engaged, committed and active. To give a vague example, I was out having dinner with a friend and I invested him over to eat with us. Initially, my boyfriend complained about going out for dinner to spend money (which he wouldn’t do if it comes to spend in trips to his family or going out with his friends). After dinner he was in a HURRY to go and buy cigarettes for one of his friends (because they are cheaper where we live). So in a hurry that he didn’t want to wait and walk my friend to get his bus. He just couldn’t wait, he was literary running to buy those cigarettes because it was important for his friends, and it made me feel that being with my friend out was less important than those cigarettes.
I also wasn’t invited to a party of one of his friends, where everyone had a plus one except him, then at the end I was pitty invited but I did not want to come because, I don’t like to be pitty invited. I felt bad about it, but my boyfriend really asked me to eat my feelings and come to the party because it was important for him. But, what about my feelings and my dignity? I asked if he couldn’t just stay with me and do something cozy together, go out for dinner or to the cinema. He offered course said No because he had plans. Nonetheless, the next day he found out that it was his niece had a birthday and he clearly told me that if he knew he wouldn’t have gone to his friends and to be with his niece because that’s more important… that made me feel like shit because I asked him to be with me but he told me he couldn’t cancel the plans with his friends.
So, all these things really makes me feel in the bottom of his priorities. To me, everyone seems to be before me. And, we live together, we have been boyfriends for almost two years now, and I don’t see him committed to this relationship. It is me who takes care of the house, I work a couple of hours extra sometimes to make sure that the economy is fine, I do most of the cleaning at home, I am the one thinking about decorating all the time, it is me who brings the flowers, buy furniture to make our home cozy and prettier, I do the cooking, and most of the time he complains because I get mad that he wakes up around 11:00 am, leaves his dirty dishes on the sofa table (we have a beautiful dinning table, he prefers to eat at the sofa and that I hate because I don’t want him to spill food on it as it is an expensive sofa I bought alone, he tells me to chill).
I just get so confused about this, he tells me he loves me, he can be very sweet to the point that I get confused and I doubt if this is him or I am wrong and I am being too much and selfish for asking to be more engaged in the relationship and make me his priority.
I apologize for the long text, this is how confused I am at the moment.
submitted by ozitro8 to gayrelationships [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 09:30 psychobunn Which whiskey to get my boyfriend for 29th birthday

Which whiskey to get my boyfriend for 29th birthday
It is gonna be one of his gifts, not the main one but would be nice for it to be an enjoyable whiskey, thank you for help in advance.
submitted by psychobunn to whiskey [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 09:23 furbybaby420 Having waves of doubt about my (32F) marriage (33M) and don’t know what to do or think?

I met my husband when I was young, ten years ago. He was my second boyfriend and is from a different culture, so there were things I both didn’t understand and was fascinated by.
I am doing trauma therapy right now and learning about damaging relationships in light of my childhood. As I’m reading about the abuse a narcissistic parents imbues on their child it’s crashing into me that I might be doing this all over again.
He’s done so many things that make me believe and know he loves me. But I’m worried I shouldn’t have overlooked the red flags.. - the time when, after I made a photo book of all our dates for his first birthday, he forgot mine that year and then showed up with a bouquet of flowers and argued with me about why he couldn’t be there (I traveled to see him at work). He’s forgotten it again since. - shortly after we got married I found out he had been snapchat messaging his ex. He saved loads of their chats somehow and I stumbled upon them as he received a snap at an odd time. The texts had started when we were dating, included sexting, and he told her she’d always be his first love. He told me it was a mistake and I didn’t want to give up so easily. Nothing I know of has happened since. - he hasn’t had a job in four years. I have broken myself emotionally from trying to keep us afloat, but he spends his days playing video games. - when we get in arguments and he flat out refuses to speak to me until I apologize. - he dreams of the day I give up everything and move back to his home and family, despite the fact I’m the only one that works.
He was the one who insisted on marrying me and moved to be with me but reading patterns of abusive relationships I’m starting to wonder if it’s not just my parents who took advantage of my desire to be seen and loved. Am I making the mistake of both our lives? I also want to be a loving and understanding wife because I struggle with mental health issues and he struggles with neurological disabilities. But how much of this is me being too nice and him being too something? I really love him but I’ve been hurt so bad and I can’t even trust myself anymore.
submitted by furbybaby420 to self [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 09:22 ditzy_daizy AITAH for getting annoyed about my sister in law flaunting her money and refusing to pay me back?

The incident began when my fiancé and I traveled to another state for my sister-in-law's son's 1st birthday party, a trip that had been planned for two months. Initially, we were to stay at a hotel and there were discussions about food and preparations for the party the following day. My sister-in-law expected around 10-15 guests and assured us she would handle most of the food, asking us only to bring drinks and chips. The night before the party, while shopping, she wanted more food and we spent $50, which she insisted on paying back.
The party turned out to be a chaotic event with about 30 guests, not the expected 10-15. The environment was uncomfortable, with a bounce house in the living room, a strong smell due to poor hygiene of some guests, and my sister-in-law was intoxicated and unable to manage the event properly. The food was insufficient (only one pizza for everyone), and when my fiancé's uninvited mother showed up, we decided to leave early, which my sister-in-law understood, given my anxiety around crowds.
After returning home, my sister-in-law's communication became sporadic. She promised to pay me back via Cash App but then ghosted me. A month later, she bragged about her tax refund and new purchases, despite living off her boyfriend and her son’s SSI checks. Given my financial situation of living paycheck to paycheck, I was understandably annoyed and mentioned it, which led to further silence from her for over two months.
I'm contemplating whether to apologize for expressing my frustration, but I also feel justified given her boasting and lack of follow-through on the repayment promise.
submitted by ditzy_daizy to AITAH [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 08:46 everything_is_stup1d this is my testimony

In kindergarten (sorry I'm from singapore so we follow British but if im not wrong its like 5-6 years old) I already accepted Christ into my life. But my mom is a "I hate Christians!!" kind of person so I didnt dare to tell her anything. I didn't really have a good relationship with my mom cos to her studies are everything and she made me (until now) think that I'm never good enough. And I was only in primary school thinking my mom doesn't like me. I'm worthless, I want to kms. I made plans to grab the knife from the kitchen, jump off and things like that. Eventually I resulted to scratching my own skin cos I feel most pain when it's right at the nerve uk.
My whole life was until the end of primary school (12) was only to do things to make my mom happy. I wouldn't mention a word about Christianity to her. And when my mom was out at night, me, my dad and my sisters would worship. The moment the door opens, I scramble into the room. This also make me walk far from God and I would curse, swear and stuff. One day in P6, the last year of primary school (12 years old) I thought "Hey, I'm Christian so why am I swearing? Isn't this a sin?" So I stopped cursing. Of course, my mom wouldn't want me going around cursing but I didn't really do it for her, but rather for God. But I still didn't want to tell her about it.
When I graduated from Primary school, in Secondary (Sec) school, I finally got to bring my phone to school (13 years old), but my mom still could track me. Anyways I got to listen to some worship songs my dad sent to me and because I didn't have a music player downloaded and wasn't allowed to download any apps, I would listen through the WhatsApp audio player thing😭😭 on the way home. Usually on Sundays whene my mom isn't home,my dad would bring me to church. Then of course my mom would find out and scold me and this continued until sec 2 (14).
In Sec 3 (15 years old), I had whole control of my phone so I would listen to worship music on the way home. One day in, my dad brought me to church. My mom saw my location and immediately got mad because she knew where my dad's church is and also because my older sister attends service too and my mom was not happy. Since then, I was afraid to go to church. My mom even cornered me one day and made me promise not to go to church or I can forget calling her my mom. I kept crying that night and never dared to go to church (mind that i dont even cry often).
But towards mid year(?) I just decided ok Imma go to church. She can get angry but it won't really stop me. Because I got to know God through worship songs and now I wanted to know him more.
I regularly started praying in the morning on the way to school. Eventually my prayers became a ritual and dry. I felt no emotion and no pull towards God. Only on days when I was really upset/angry then I would feel Him comforting me. One day I really wanted to be the captain in my CCA (it's like after school activities but still part of school programs) and I didn't get it. I was so upset I cried on the way home because I actually put in so much effort into it. Then I became vice captain so ig that counts.
Anyways I became really upset and got frustrated because I didn't prove myself enough. I had so low expectations of myself, got depressed again, but I couldn't vent it out because I couldn't hurt myself anymore after learning my body is a temple of God. So I got super frustrated. I prayed for guidance decided to free up my Saturdays I went to church. Youth services for Secondary school students were on Saturdays and not Sundays so yeah. Towards like October last year I cleared up my Saturdays so I could go more regularly to church, and my mom was defo not happy AT ALL that I went with my own initiative. She ignored me for several weeks and of course I felt lonely and all buy eventually I felt okay because she doesn't even know me sooooo.
I'm still trying to patch up my relationship with her. Honestly, it's so strained I don't know what to do. I've prayed that she would accept Christ everyday but uhh nothing. This doesn't mean I don't believe in God if not this would not exist
One day I was fellowshipping with my dad. Why we did that is because of a long story that would be saved for another day.
But this is the part where it's important
Previously I had dreams and I shared with my dad because he is more experience in deciphering gifts and stuff (I'm sorry if you don't believe in gifts but I do!) And he told me to pray about it because I somehow knew these dreams had meaning and relation to God. A number of dreams had direct inference to God. I did pray about it, and also asked God along these lines; "God, give me guidance. I have strayed and I know. Lord please let me understand, and let me also be close to You. I want to know You, and I know, I haven't read the word. Lord, motivate me to read the scripture, and while reading let me also understand the dreams I have been having my whole life."
I can't remember what I said exactly. The one 9f the church sermons on one week talked about how God is not far, but we are far. And I felt that that was for me. Then one day my dad said to me and my older sister "I don't care you have to download the Bible rn" so I downloaded it but did nothing with it. Finally, one day I was late for work (yes I worked when I was 15 because I actually want an electric guitar) and it was New Year's Eve. My colleague texted me saying she'd pick me up and I said and quote "Isokkk I walk over" (me) ... "Give me your block" (colleague) "Omd tyyy" (me)
Part of me didn't want her to fetch me because it would be troubling her. But I don't know why I waited and was thinking "bruh I could've reached by now but she's late" but I just waited. I was wearing full white that day. And this woman must've thought I was going to church because it was a Sunday morning.
And she asked "Hello, are you going to church?"
I said "oh no no, I have church at night because it's countdown service. (basically the youth services brought our church service from Saturday 4pm to Sunday 8pm because we wanted to countdown service together)"
She said," Oh! So you're Christian! Do you read the Word often?"
I blushed because so many signs and I haven't read a single word. "No," I was so embarrassed
She continued "I used to be a teacher, a lecturer in a University (if im not wrong) There is a website called 7 minutes with God. It was originally created for Harvard students because they were busy and didn't have time to spend time with God." Then I couldn't hear what she said because she was talking so fast. All I knew was she was summarizing the website and encouraged me to read it.
I read it like on January 2nd this year on the way to school ( I'm 16 this year!!! But not 16 yet because as I said, it's not my birthday yet or anytime soon)
I was so inspired that I kept on reading the Word and devoted mornings to not only prayers (that I allowed God to guide me and not just pray for the sake of praying) but also for reading the Word!
See, when I prayed to have motivation to read the Word more, God gave me the sign THREE TIMES which I did not pick up until the 3rd sign, the lady. The first time during the sermon I was like "Yes God, I will do it!" but did nothing. The second time when my dad asked me to download the app version of the Bible, I said "Yes God, this is the sign!" and did not do anything. I got discouraged because my dad thinks I'm funny and wouldn't take my words seriously omd 😭. But the third time, God literally sent a random woman I don't know and told me to read. And I read, praise God!
this is the part where it relates to the meme
Because when I went to the shower I kept laughing because I thought of this meme. I didn't read the word or get touched because it was a coincidence. So coincidence? I think not! It's a miracle ❤️❤️❤️
I finished Mark and the New Testament, I'm currently at John right now.
Just now, after a meeting with my cell group (a small group for easier prayers etc in church), I was listening to worship music, and my grumpy dad was like "GO AND SHOWER" liek chill brou. So I went to the toilet with my headphones on and sat on the floor and just continued listening to worship music. Then my dad sent in the family group chat (just me, my older sister and him, my mom got mad and left) an article about this man called Patrick Lee/Bezalel. He is a local artist faithful in Christ
But reading halfway I kept crying because I was so touched (again I do no lt cry, but I related so much I cried even though nothing had to do with me, but it was like my mother's story where she had a hard of stone towards God) and then my phone went flat 😐 So I risked it and ran out to get my charger but thank God (like actually) my dad didn't scream like he would. Then I sat at the toilet floor and continued reading. Tears kept flowing down my face because Patrick Bezalel's story was such a miracle, and God kept giving him signs that God existed! And removed the layer of stone that surrounded the man's heart and made it soft and open to God again!
After that I continued worshipping God and was listening to worship music (yes in the toilet because I literally have 0 privacy because none of my parents think I need it). I kept crying because the songs were so related. Can you imagine? It went in this order:
1.Presence,Power,Glory 2.Hosanna 3.Promises 4.Holy Forever
Again, coincidence? I THINK NOT. It was so planned, like it was in my playlist for so long and I haven't really thought much about it. Tears kept streaming down and kept going and through sobs I silently prayed to God
"Oh my dear God you have been so so good to me, and so faithful to me Lord. You have guided me, guided my heart and nothing has gone wrong in Your hands Lord. I've been through the turning point I've prayed for. You have sent people, songs and my family members to come after me to open up to You Lord. Lord, I was having a CG (cell group) meeting and something just touched my heart. I am now sitting on the toilet floor and typing this, because Lord you have made a way to touch my heart, guide me through a prayer that came deep down from inside of me Lord, thank You for providing. Thank You God for the miracles You have did in my life, and all that I prayed for has came through Lord. The turning point I prayed for was when that lady had spoken to me about how to set aside time for You and the Word. Lord let me not forget this incident, this turning point, this miracle Lord. Let me put my trust in You Lord, and let You take my hand and let my life be walking next to You faithfully Lord. Lord I pray that I would not waver, and I would not take my eyes away from You. Even when I am crossing and walking toward You on water in the sea, let my eyes be on You, and the works You have done for me, and not be distracted by the worls around me, but to keep my eyes on You diligently Lord. Lord, I am a sinner, and now, I was, for You have sent Jesus Christ, Your Son, to die on the cross for me. Lord, I believe in You and I want to accept You in my life Lord, no matter what situation I am in. Lord, let people around me see Your love, joy, and faithfulness in me, and not let them see the girl I was before. Let them see change, and the love and desire I have for You, Lord. Let them see Your greatness, Your goodness and You. I thank You for everything You have done, and in Jesus's name, I pray that I will walk faithfully alongside You, and will not fail to continuously pray and worship You God. Thank You Lord for the miracles, for this turning point. Thank You God for guiding me, and let me be the branch that bears fruit, and let me be the branch that has life only through Jesus, Who is the vine, Who the reason I live Lord, Who is the reason I have life. Praise the Lord! Amen!"
This is the first time I prayed for so long and every one word was truly from deep down fron the depths of my heart. I couldn't stop crying. I really couldn't and I can't emphasize more that I don't cry often! Either it hurt me so much or that God moved my heart. This time was tears of joy.
I hope this could inspire someone out there, because in another prayer I prayed for those who needed God, even if I didn't know them.
Pray. Pray and ask God to help you seek Him. One thing I learnt from a sermon is the fervency in your prayers. I didn't mean to add this in but I suddenly saw this note I wrote on 25th February.
Title: fervency in prayer Fervency: being excited about something keen on something
At the heart of revival is the spirit of prayer • pray fervently • pray with faith
"But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed"
To be fervent in prayer is to pray tenaciously despite our struggles
Hopefully this helped someone out there, inspired you and is one of your signs to start giving your life to Him! It is actually proven 1 in 3 people are Christians. Isn't our goal to have this faith to reach all four corners of the world? It could sound impossible in the past, but now there is social media, anyone could read and realize "Hey God is actually with me!"
submitted by everything_is_stup1d to TrueChristian [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 08:43 Best_Entrepreneur885 I’ve filled so much of my boyfriends cup I’ve left my own empty

I’ve been in a relationship for over two years with my current boyfriend and I’m happy but there’s always this part in the back of my heart that feels like this relationship isn’t mentally or physically satisfying me. for the past two years I’ve poured my everything into this relationship. I’ve always gone above and beyond for my boyfriend, whether it came to birthdays, anniversaries, him graduating school, and even small achievements. If we go on a date, I’m the one planning everything in the one making the plans. I take care of absolutely everything and I never feel appreciated or thought of.
On my birthday last year, he had absolutely nothing planned. he gave me a gift which was a kind gesture, but he didn’t have anything planned for the day. no reservations no movie tickets booked, nothing. When I asked him where we were going he just said “oh idk how to plan for these kinds of things you figure it out” because he never reserved anything and it was so last minute we ended up having to go to a chain restaurant that closed in an hour. for my birthday this year, he bought me perfume. which he didn’t even pick out himself. he just decided to meet me at the mall and have me pick it out and left after buying me it. he had a migraine and couldn’t take me out to celebrate but promised he would take me out another time. we never did end up going out and I didn’t end up celebrating with him.
now, for the last two years I’ve gone above and beyond for his birthday. I would reserve places months in advance and plan the entire day for him so he could feel appreciated. last year for his birthday, I bought him a bunch of stuff he uses or has been wanting, we went out for dinner and spent the night together and I even surprised him with a cake. the year before that I took him out for dinner and had a hotel decorated for him. but I in return have never received any gesture like this. I’ve communicated with him about how I always feel like he never plans or does anything nice for me and he says he just doesn’t know these things like I do. I’ve stopped asking for so much from him because I’ve just become so emotionally exhausted that I’d rather keep my mouth closed than have to deal with his excuses. I just want to feel appreciated, I want to feel like I’m being thought of, and I wanna feel like I’m deserving of the love I give out. I don’t know what to do or how to approach the relationship at this point. I love him but it’s so hard maintaining a relationship that feels like you’re giving out 90% and they’re only giving 10%.
submitted by Best_Entrepreneur885 to offmychest [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 08:41 Silent_Radio5410 I cut ties with my ex best friend.

A few years ago during that time when I was in high school, me and my ex friend went to different schools, I wanted to go to the same school as her but I couldn't since it was too far.
I told her that I couldn't go to the same school but she told me she was glad I didn't go to the same place as her because if I did, me and her wouldn't be friends at all.
You know the reason why she said that? She said if I went there, other people would take me away from her and that she would hate me which I found that stupid. Fast forward a few years later I had a boyfriend during college (he's now an ex) When I went out to town with my family, she called to me crying (while I was in a resturant) because apparently I've been ghosting her and ignoring her saying I've been too busy to even talk.
During this time I was struggling with my mental health, my relationship and college, She would start arguments with me saying I don't have time for her, not texting back saying I'm drifting away from her. Not to mention she wrote a poem about me(I have the poem on my phone) , I didn't know what to say and she asked you're not mad I wrote a poem about you? You won't sue me right?
And I was like it's fine but in my head it wasn't fine. She would make it about herself, I listened to her constantly complaining and she would trauma dump the past. She brought up the fact I didn't turn up to choir practice while I was getting bullied.
She blamed me for that not the girl who bullied me, not to mention she and the bully were friends on Facebook, the girl who bullied me would talk trash about me to her and she would tell me the horrible things the bully said about me, I was so hurt and betrayed yet I still kept her as a friend.
2 years go by and this was before Covid hit, the day she arrived I took her to my dance practice so she could watch before my day. She complained saying that she's tired, didn't take her meds, telling me she wasted her money to come visit me. I was embarrassed when she was having a tantrum infront of everyone that I had to take her somewhere else.
It felt like a burning iron everytime she complained I was flustered and I felt tired just by listening to her. On the evening the day before my birthday party, there was no food at the house since my mother was busy preparing for my debut. She hasnt eaten food or taken her meds but blamed me again, so we both had to walk to mcdonalds in the evening around 8pm just for her to eat.
The day of my birthday party, everything was going well, I introduced her to my college friends and others but after the party we went back to our rooms getting ready for bed, she asked me why didn't you introduce me to those boys? Why didn't you spend time with me? I didn't know what to say anymore because I was tired genuinely that we didn't talk until morning.
Then after a few days I haven't heard from her, She was talking to one of my guy friends but the thing is she would only talk to me if she had problems with him and would come crying in call and texting me about it. I have been reassuring her every time she had problems with my guy friend and it was tiring, he even mentioned to me she was controlling and bossy and he was right .
I never complained about anything between me and her but she wanted to make problems that I didn't talk to her or wasn't talking to her enough, I gave her space and I gave myself space but she still complained why I didn't message her but I did several times but in other days I wouldn't talk to her because I was scared.
I never talked about my mental problems and my trauma with my SA past to her because she'll make me feel worse and trauma dump and mention the past about me leaving her repeatedly when I was bullied by the same girl she was friends with.
I wanted to cut ties with her but I was afraid that she will get mad at me because she had issues with her behaviour for always getting angry and shouting at me when we get into an argument in call and would blame me.
But I was genuinely afraid at the same time losing my only friend because I had no one else to talk to. After a month or two I was messaging her and she brought up the vaccine topic, during that time she was a student nurse and I didn't really want to talk about it but she insisted telling me I should take the vaccine. If I didn't take it apparently I would affect her "family, friends and patients" but what about me? What am I to her? Me and her live in different cities 1 hr away from each other, so how can I affect them if I live so far away? That doesn't make sense.
She told me If I didn't take it she told me people would think I'm a dirty pest and a scumbag.
I was so done, honestly so done after she posted our private conversation on her private story but apparently she deleted it afterwards just for me to see? Not sure if I believe that. I blocked her on every social media and after that I felt better, the heavy burden I held for so long was gone. I was happier without her.
I never even got birthday gifts from her even when I gave hers every year so I stopped gifting her. I wasted 9 years of friendship and stopped trusting people after that.
submitted by Silent_Radio5410 to ExBestFriends [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 08:31 Lana_mitski_ What does this dream mean?

So I would put the nightmare flair but it was actually pretty chill tbh, I wasn’t like panicking or too scared.
I was preparing for a wedding and me and my dad and sister went to a hotel. A basic one. Then I forgot smth at home and my sister went to get it and we kinda got in a fight. Then the bathroom looks like it has a ton of sinks of diff colors and my sister tells us that there’s women trying to kill us by putting knives trough the charging stations down to floor level. I go to check it out and some woman pushes a sword trough and I try to escape but it’s hard, like there’s knives and I managed to escape, it wasn’t that hard but still difficult. And at some point I’m sitting and the whole thing just turns into a horror hotel, and a like a little human made out of fine plastic with like round head and like rounded limbs and everything, like the pic but it had fine smooth shiny plastic all over and was probably a robot and no ears and a face way bigger with 2 dots as eyes and a big smile. And no ears. This thing tells me how sad and horror and sinister the whole place looks and holds my hand to show me and I feel like I’m gonna kms. But then the thing says “but you know how I know this is not real?” And then starts singing a song like a record in the 90s, yk that sound that goes when you rewind? That, and a happy La La La 90s song. And like vibrant paint from paint buckets starts splashing around and making everything coloured again. Next thing I know the narrator says the women have been caught, the ones with the knives, and also before all this, I dreamed it was my birthday and my aunt cami baked me a cake, and I was like “u didn’t have to do that” and she’s like “Gurl just say thanks and eat “ ,we all just like eat from it with spoons, no cut slices. And I was eating most of the coconut small cut cakes. We were all having a pretty good time! And at the hotel, before arriving it was raining, and we had to hold a pillow over our heads and my sister got a little left behind l and I started changing and didn’t realise my dad was there and yelled at him to close his eyes, he didn’t listen the first few times I said it. Then I put smth on and the rest of the story I just said. Oh and just realised I can’t put a pic for the teddy description thing. It was like , it had a round head, eggplant shaped limbs,all smooth shiny plastic .
submitted by Lana_mitski_ to DreamInterpretation [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 08:29 Givemeanameugh My (F20) bf (M20) refuses get rid of a letter his ex gave him.

My boyfriend loves me very very much and there is no doubt about that. We have been in a rerelationship for a year and a half. a few months ago he mentioned he had kept a letter that his ex gave him on his birthday. It was the first letter anyone had ever given him. It never bothered me as much but a few days ago he mentioned that he would not throw it away. I never asked him to throw it away, he just mentioned this in conversation, but I know that if i told him it was bothering me he would get rid of it without any hesitation. His ex was a horrible gf and treated him terribly. But dont get why he does not want to throw it away. I keep thinking about this.
Idk if I'm overthinking too much or if this is an actual problem. What do you think?
TL;DR : my bf who loves me very much keeps a letter from his ex and does not want to get rid of it.
submitted by Givemeanameugh to relationships [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 08:25 Givemeanameugh What do I do? My bf keeps a letter from his ex that he does not want to throw away.

My boyfriend loves me very very much and there is no doubt about that. We have been in a rerelationship for a year and a half. a few months ago he mentioned he had kept a letter that his ex gave him on his birthday. It was the first letter anyone had ever given him. It never bothered me as much but a few days ago he mentioned that he would not throw it away. I never asked him to throw it away, he just mentioned this in conversation, but I know that if i told him it was bothering me he would get rid of it without any hesitation. His ex was a horrible gf and treated him terribly. But dont get why he does not want to throw it away. I keep thinking about this.
Idk if I'm overthinking too much or if this is an actual problem. What do you think?
submitted by Givemeanameugh to Advice [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 08:21 Present_Library_9431 should i say sorry to her?

so there was this classmate i had crush on for years. she friendzoned me after a while. when i confessed after sometime while in the friendzone, she said that she was really unhappy that a friend of her did this. i said sorry and lied that i was forced by my friends to say that i like her. after a while, we used to talk on text a lot. she got a boyfriend after a while too. we used to talk till late sometimes and share our happenings in life. i was innocent back then, and immature. some months ago, i came to know how girls friendzone for the sake of attention. the situation matched too well. i started avoiding her. i felt so disgusted and bad with a feeling of being used. i used to help her with homework, would gift her card and all on her birthdays. i used to reply to her texts instantly. after months of avoiding her, she texted me today. i just told how i see her just as someone who makes friends just to seek attention. she said that im a fool. i didn't see her efforts. efforts like staying up late just to talk with me and make me feel better. i just told i don't ever wanna see her again, after what she did to me. she would insist me to spend time with her and her boyfriend irl. which imo was to create a sense of jealously in me. i kinda hate her now. she always gave me mixed signals. but it took a whole year for me to move on, thanks to my doubts that she was an attention seeker. wish i knew about all this when i was young, atleast i would've gone out of the friendzone earlier then. anyways, but now i feel a little guilty. what if she was not an attention seeker and really was nice. but a part of me still says that what i did was good. i'm confused. should i say sorry to her or should i just never text her ever again.
tldr - crush made me friend. i confessed but she continued friendship and used to give mixed signals. i started avoiding her, and today just broke all contacts by telling her everything. was what i did wrong?
submitted by Present_Library_9431 to IndianTeenagers [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 08:13 SuperBarbedLotus My ex told me our relationship was toxic.

She left me on "good terms" in December. We both said that we were special people at the end, and I was convinced that we could stay on good terms. She told me that she would start seeing a psychologist to solve her problems and that it wasn't anyone's fault.
She tried to keep in touch for about a month after the end of the relationship, telling me she felt lonely at university. I was still very hurt by the end of the relationship and tried to keep a distant tone. To be honest I was devastated by the end of the relationship, and was trying to heal.
In the end, we didn't write to each other for 4 months, from January until the day before yesterday. I wrote to her to see how she was doing and to apologize for not wishing her a happy birthday (I didn't want to reopen contacts to avoid suffering).
Initially, she sent me a long message explaining that I was an important person for her, her first boyfriend, etc. However, she specified that she had moved on and understood that we were not meant for each other.
At that point, I asked to call her, to hear her voice after a long time. It seemed like a humane thing to do. And she started being extremely cold and treating me like a stranger. I couldn't believe what I was reading, mostly because of the coldness and cynicism with which she said certain things. "Relationships change," "we're nothing anymore," "you can't accept that I've moved on," etc.
In the end, it came out that during these months, she realized that our relationship was toxic (she surely came to this conclusion with the psychologist). She said that some of my behaviors were unhealthy and that at the end of the relationship, she blamed herself for everything to avoid making me suffer. When I tried to ask her what she meant by toxic, she said that I was exhausting for asking, and could not be bothered to explain. I couldn't even ask for explanations. I want to emphasize that I insisted on calling her, but I didn't judge or insult her. In the end, I told her that out of respect for myself, there was no point in writing to her again because I found the utmost indifference in her attitude, and I was hurt by her behavior.
What do you think?
submitted by SuperBarbedLotus to BreakUps [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 08:09 Silly_willy- mcMenamins?

My boyfriend and I always go to Kennedy School for our birthdays. This year I want a different one for a change of scenery. Any recommendations? We live in outer NE. Thanks!
submitted by Silly_willy- to askportland [link] [comments]


http://rodzice.org/