Crafty ideas for boyfriend

Hi, I’m S. I’ll try not to use too many letters to confuse anyone.
S = me. Z = boyfriend
Yesterday, I reached out to my boyfriend’s father asking about a therapy session. Z and I go to the same therapist, so his dad lets me take him, we typically will try and schedule appointments and hour apart so we don’t have to make two trips a week to a place 30 minutes away, his dad has had no issue with it up until yesterday.
His dad asked me for her contact information, and I asked her if I coukd forward it to him. She said, “without a release form signed from Z, because he’s the patient and it’s regarding his appointment, regardless of your affiliation with him (parent, grandparent, etc), he needs to sign a form stating he’s okay with me discussing anything appointment related, even if its just scheduling.” So I forwarded it to his dad, which Z would have no issue signing that form, and would’ve had it signed by tomorrow had his dad allowed the appointment. That’s not the case.
Instead, his dad removed him from therapy, and is trying to find a place in the state that doesn’t require that. Which, without a release form, the therapist is able to discuss any and all information to Z’s dad about any appointment without Z’s permission if he does find one that does. He’s said he found a family therapist, which would explain how, but it’s not individual, and the therapist may be focused on working them as a family vs their individual struggles which may not help at all even.
Fast forward a few hours, I’m at Z’s house, and all of a sudden his dad is barging in his room and telling us to sit and listen. He started talking to Z about how therapy is going to go from now on, which he was fine with. But then his dad whipped out of no where that Z is to quit his job and stay home, and break up with me. Obviously Z is refusing because we’ve been together almost a year, and plan to stay together. His dad said having a while future planned out isn’t a good idea, yet was telling Z he needs to figure out a plan on what to do post graduation. Which, Z is set in stone on what he wants to do, he plans on attending a secondary program his Senior Year (this coming year) that allows him to stay at the high school AND take college courses to become an Electrician like he wants to be. He figured that out all on his own, and was in the process into taking the next steps into signing up for that at school before testing by talking to his counselor at the school.
This became a screaming match between him and his dad, he wanted me to leave, and threatened to call the cops as I was because I wasn’t leaving quick enough (mind you, I was packing my bag I had with me with study material for an exam I have coming soon to get my license to sell insurance, so i had stuff to get together, and to put my shoes on). As I was leaving, his dad was restraining him poorly by holding his chest so he couldn’t run and hug me. I got in my car and had my window cracked in case anything happens. Z said “I want to live with mom.” His dad says “Then go.” Z went into his room, grabbed his phone, texted me his moms number to call and deleted our convo entirely so his dad doesnt see I am the one who called since he took Z’s phone. I called his mom, and she immediately left work to go pick him up.
His dad has full custody of all of his 5 kids. Mom has 0, but has visitations and every other weekend. So I’m wondering if this will cause any disruption to that and something court related will happen. On top of that, can his father get charged for abusing being he was restraining his son for no reason and poor intent?
Z’s younger brother texted me, as he witnessed it all, updating me on everything going on at the house. Their dad is acting as if nothing happened. Yet he said he and his dad has the longest and calmest conversation they’ve had ever. Their dad says he feels he’s lost a son, that he feels bad he didn’t let me or Z speak and how he pushed me out and threatened cops, etc. But he said this to Z’s brother, not to us.
Z is now at his moms and is facing a crossroads on what to do… - Spending half of his summer at his dads, then the other half and senior year at his moms. - Going back and “sucking it up” while still trying to maintain contact with me.
I threw in the option of emancipating… only so he’d had control of his health and appointments, his relationship, and control of what he does in terms of school. But I think he’s more focused on the “move out” aspect of it, when he really wouldn’t have to move out to be emancipated, he’s just get control over his own life ans require to get his own health care (which our work provides).
We’re going to call his ex step mom, and see what she thinks about all of this. She has a big impact usually on his dad, and we’re hoping she’ll shed some light on the situation and hopefully talk his dad down from whatever is going on mentally. I’m honestly thinking this was some sort of episode, as I’ve never seen him this mad, and I’ve never done wrong by him and he trusts me and knows I follow his rules at his house.
I have a previous post about his dads behavior too, it was an AITAH post if you want some more characteristics of his father. Also keep in mind, Z did nothing prior to this to get in trouble. He wasn’t grounded, he gets all A’s, has been doing great at work, etc. His dad did all of this out of no where.
I’m not asking for you guys to find solutions for him obviously, but I definitely want to ask for advice? Maybe spark some idea’s for Z and what he can do. He’s going back to his dads tomorrow and I’m so scared for him.

Hello everyone, I'm just looking for some general advice here..
For some background my boyfriend (23M) and I (23F) have been together for two and a half years. I am from the United States, he is not, and we both live abroad in Western Europe for studies.
I graduate very soon with my undergrad degree and have been accepted into an amazing Master's program in a different Europe country. Additionally I have been offered a great summer internship oppurtinity in my hometown in the USA.
My boyfriend still has six months left to graduate. He was planning on going to the USA to finish his studies and see his mother and sister who are both there. He hasn't seen either of them in years and this has taken a toll on his mental health. Unfortunately his visa to the United States was rejected and is unable to follow through with his plan. (The visa rejection was due to his passport and where he is from. His sister studied and now works in the US and his mother is there seeking asylum) Right now he is not in the best position the country we are currently in and is facing financial and job insecurity here.
We had dicussed the idea of marriage to help get him to the USA. I can see a future with him however there are some blocks that ulimately made me decide not to go through with it. The main roadblock have to do with his unresolved anger issues that have impacted our relationship since we've been together. Additionally I am not ready to move back to the USA and would like to live abroad for longer. I have also never wanted to marry this young. If it weren't for the visa I don't think I would be willing to marrying him right now at all.
Here comes my dilemma.. While I have these two amazing opportunities I am completely eaten up with guilt at the idea of leaving him. I know that the internship and master's program are the best things for me to do in order to secure the professional future I envision for myself. However I'm so filled with guilt I'm at the point where I don't want to do them at all. Still, I will do them for both sure but I cannot shake this awful feeling.
My boyfriend has for the most part been supportive regarding this opportunities and is encouraging me to go for them. However he does make some passive aggressive "jokes" about me ruining his life by not marrying him for the visa. In a way I think it's almost a concious manipulative act as he knows how guilty I feel. But at the same time I feel like I deserve it. I'm sure he is feeling worse than I am.
It's tearing me up inside because I truly do feel like I'm ruining his life and abandoning him. He already has abandonment issues due to his turbulent upbringing and not being able to see his family. Additionally, he talks about how his mom, sister, and I are the three main pillars in his life. If I go he will have none of these pillars and be completely alone. I feel horrible even thinking about leaving him in this mess alone. Where he has no one and no stability.
I'm looking for advice regarding how to cope and move past this guilt. I know that the internship and master's program are the best route for me and I will indeed be taking them. But how do I shake feeling like the absolute worst person in the world when I'm leaving the man I love?

Like the title says. My boyfriend is getting 200Mbps as we pay for. I only get 100Mbps even if his computer is not running. Any ideas what may be the cause?

Context: i (16f, UK) have met my boyfriend (16m, US) about five months ago through a mutual on discord and became friends immediately. We have talked almost a good few hours per day and calls almost once per week ever since. I’ve spoken to his sister for a good few times and he seems really genuine. Just last month he told me his feelings and we made it official.
However, the problem that I’m increasingly concerned with is face reveal. Since this is my first time e-dating/online dating through discord, I have no idea how the process is supposed to work. He has told me about how insecure he is due to his appearance and he was often being bullied for both his skin color and facial structures so he rarely does face reveals.
On the contrary, although I’m also extremely insecure of my own appearance, I still felt it’s necessary for partners to see each others appearance since it is still a process that a relationship must go through, which is some sort of a physical/sexual attraction. Embarrassingly, I would constantly imagine what he looks like from fractions of information that he revealed and it’s just building up my stress day by day.
Eventually, I have asked him yesterday and he said he will give it a thought since we are hitting the one month relationship milestone. He have previously showed me picture of his parents and younger self before.
Therefore I’m just here to ask—how long did it take for your partner and yourself to do face reveal? Did one of you guys done it first or was it an exchange? Should I initiate it some point since we have hit the one month dating milestone? Is it normal for him to be insecure about it?

Ok to start with some context, I live with my other ex because of it being impossible to find housing where we live so we've been living together for 2 years after breaking up peacefully with our kids from prior relationships. So me and my best friend started dating last year after letting out a lot ( and I mean a lot) of emotions. Early into our relationship we found out that my roommate/ ex was pregnant with my kid, which happened before anything had happened in the relationship.
We ended up breaking up later last year because she didn't know how to handle the idea of dealing with a new born, but has been dating her current boyfriend since the start of the year who also has a kid and baby momma drama to go with it.
Anyways, about a month ago while drinking at my house, we ended up sleeping with each other. Neither of us are cheaters definitely since we've both been on the other end of that before. But we couldn't figure out why we did it. I know on my end I still have feelings for her, but I can't figure out why for the first time in her life she would cheat and why it was with me?

Hi there!
I’m going to Italy for a wedding in September & looking for some suggestions with where me & my boyfriend should extend our trip afterwards.
We are arriving in Milan Friday morning and the wedding falls on Sunday in Stresa; we’re thinking of extending the trip to explore Italy the following Mon-Fri and flying home from Milan Saturday.
Some options we’ve considered are: - 1 day Milan, 2 days Cinque Terre, 1-2 days Florence, (potentially 1 day Tuscan countryside) - 1 day Milan, 1 day Lake Como, 3 days Venice - Other ideas: Dolomites, Italian lakes near Stresa?
I’m mostly looking for perspectives on which of the above (or any others!) are the best to visit around September, easiest to get to specifically by train (we don’t want to rent a car), and how much time to dedicate. We both have a lot of Marriott points we’d like to dedicate to this trip so if there’s a good Bonvoy property there, would be a big bonus (one of the factors straying me away from CT.) I know it’s only five days so hard to do & see much but any advice is super helpful!

That day was just like any other day, I woke up at seven got ready for school. Went to my classes, ate lunch with my friends. Then I was walking home with Jeremiah.
“Hey Jean, how’d you do on your history test?” Jeremiah asked tilting his head in My direction as we walked down the sidewalk. Tall stocks of wheat filled as far as I could see. It’s was harvest time and the stocks were a field of gold.
“Not too well I’m afraid, I thought I knew my stuff, but I took too long and ended up just filling in the blanks randomly at the end” I sigh as I tightened my ponytail that held up my brunette curls.
“It’s not our fault she never sticks to the material we go over in class. If you don’t read through the whole text book it’s guaranteed failure” Jeremiah probably would’ve failed that test either way. He spends all his time on the ps5 playing fortnight. I know because I spend most of my time gaming with him. I used to think maybe we’d end up together. I mean we’ve been buds since we were 12 and we’re 17 now. He’s a good friend, and he’s good looking in his own way. His dark brown hair is usually cut short but still he manages to sport bed head wherever he goes. His hazel green eyes had bags underneath from endless late night gaming sessions. He was tall and definitely too skinny for the baggy clothes he usually sported. However, he always spent time with me and when he smiled at me it was always genuine. Most like guys at school either like one extreme or the other. They like the hot blondes or they like the beautiful mixed girls. No one ever paid much attention to me I have long muddy brown curly hair, and freckles. The only redeeming quality of mine is my pale grey blue eyes that are like my life, an endless cloudy day. Sometimes people would try and approach me to go out or hook up. It’s honestly really hard to make friends let alone boyfriends when you’re not interested in getting fuck up, or chancing teen pregnancy. Which for the most part are the only activities anyone is into other than TikTok trends. I don’t know when everyone became so focused on what others have and not paying attention to taking care of each other. No one is interested in someone unless you can gain from them. I wonder what the world would look like if we all genuinely took care and cared for each other.
“an…”
“ean!…..Jean” Jeremiah grabbed my shoulder and shook.
“Hey are listening to me?” He was leaning his head down to me with a concerned look on his face.
“Yeah Jere, I’m sorry I just spaced out for a second, what were you saying?” What was I thinking about. A world like can never happen with all the selfish people in the world. I’m sure the world leaders made it that way. It easy to pacify people with shiny objects and hope of fame. While secretly luring them into the cage of their own making.
“I was saying I just downloaded the new map and if your down to hop on tonight?” Jeremiah beamed I could tell he was pumped for the new update.
“Sure sounds like fun. I downloaded it last night so it should have finished sometime this morning.” Shooting things was a good way to blow off steam and I already boomed the history test so it’s not like I’m busy.
“Awesome. I tested Kai so he might hop on with us later on as well.” Kai is Jeremiah’s friend from trade school. Usually you have to be 18 but Jeremiah is a genius with video games and is determined to make his own and get on Forbes. Kai has played with us before and he seems like a total duchebag. He’s apparently 20 and has been attending the trade school for a year. All I know is he steals my shots and says uncomfortable things in the mic whenever Jeremiah has to leave the game. He does have a sexy voice.. but still it’s not ok for him to say such creepy things. Like my voice is pleasant to the ears..such a pervy uncle thing to say. We made it to the corner of the street and were about to say bye when it happened. We had no idea where it came from or what was happening. But as I walking away from Jeremiah towards my house they sounded.
Trumpets. It sounded like there was a whole orchestra of trumpets, but I didn’t see anything. Could just hear the clear beautiful sound. Then… Rain? No I was crying. Hysterically crying and I could not stop. I looked everywhere for a source, a place the sound could be coming from but there was nothing. The sound seemed to be enveloping me. I glanced in Jeremiah’s direction to see him on his knees just staring at the sky bawling. I whipped my gaze to the sky to see..heaven. The sky’s were open like a door directly to god had been opened up for all to catch a glimpse. It was the most breathtaking sight I had ever seen. The sky’s flowed with colors I didn’t even have a name for. Had colors like this always existed? They were shinning and draped in white cloths wings flapping so elegantly as they descended down like falling snows. The sky’s were filled with them. Angels. The sounds of the trumpets still echoing through the air. Seven of them. Seven angels, and seven trumpets. Then the sky filled with glowing blue lights. They floated one by one to the door before transforming into bodies like that of the shining angels. An explosion was the first reminder of the world around me. I looked up the street to see the plume of smoke in the air. Screams and cries could be heard through the sound of the heavenly music. I turned to where I’d seen Jeremiah, but he was gone. They kept passing through, blue orbs continued to rise from earth towards the door. I ran. My family! Mom, dad, Lizzie! I had to run faster. Ran through the Fitzgibbins yard and I hopped the fence separating our back yards. Racing inside the house.
“MOM, DAD, LIZZIE! Where are you!” I frantically searched room after room but there was nothing. Mom and dads bed was untouched bibles on their night stands and slippers by the foot of the bed. Lizzie’s room was covered in her stuffed animals. The kitchen sink was running and there was a half eaten sandwich on the table. But no one….. no one is here. What is happening!

Link to original: https://www.reddit.com/relationship_advice/s/3FVLHL81jx
Well, they fired me.
I tried to find a middle ground with the advice given to me, specifically that I'd fulfill my obligations and then leave. That did not work out.
We had a number of meetings, and a lot happened, but the highlights are that on the day they were meant to pick up some stuff from my apartment, my girlfriend was hospitalized, so I offered to just put everything in the hall or with the front desk so they could swing by a few minutes later to pick up, or reschedule to another day. They declined both options, and I had to stay home and wait for them to load everything, while I was on the phone with her family so I couldn't help.
Another highlight is that Jane kept following me around at every meeting and finding any excuse she could to be next to me. She stared at me a lot, and it creeped me out. I didn't say anything, though.
One of the two events I was obligated to happened, and I tried to do my absolute best work that I could do. A lot of people told me how impressed they were, how they wanted to see more, and I made it clear that I would be stepping back for a time, 'soon', but that I was appreciative of the praise.
My girlfriend, thankfully out of the woods now, bought a ticket to the event when she received an email from leadership of the organization, telling her she needed one to get in. I contacted the hosts to request a refund, and they complied, as they were confused, given that I had purchased a ticket for her months ago.
Prior to the event, I was asked questions regarding setup of some tech for the event. I'm not technologically savvy, I have big hands and tend to break things, no matter how gentle I try to be, and I really don't understand a lot, to be frank. This person who I didn't know asked if they could do something that I didn't understand, and I said "Sure, whatever you need to do to make it work I guess. Just don't put it on me, and try not to bother [the leadership], they're overworked right now, if you don't have to."
Today, after responding to a few calls from people who were at the event, I got a call from the secretary. They told me that we were "officially parting ways".
The reason they gave was that I apparently condoned illegal activity and tried to keep it secret from leadership. I'm still not clear on what they were on about. I simply asked, is there anything else?
Apparently, there were many complaints about me, here are a few:

• Jane invited me out to eat and I told her I was going somewhere she couldn't afford. (This never happened- I told her I was taking some out of towners somewhere with my girlfriend, I didn't know where yet)
• I repeatedly hit someone to get their attention. (I nudged one of the leadership's boyfriend's on the shoulder when they were blocking the doorway)
• I overreacted about the whole Jane thing, especially regarding my pets- if they had imbibed in her spillage, they would have been fine after emergency medical care. (Apparently emergency medical care is perfectly fine?)
• I was rude with the event hosts. (See above- my emails were blunt, but hardly rude, and I apologized for inconveniencing them, and thanked them for their help)
• I lied about/faked the emergency with my girlfriend to force them to do all of the work moving things themselves, and to have an excuse to be late to meetings. (See above)
• I was rude to that same someone I apparently slapped when they asked about taking over my role. (Same boyfriend of leadership, he asked me if he could take over my role in a setting that was really valuable to my career, and would have put me in the spotlight- I guess he gets to take the role now?)
• I unfairly withdrew consent for them to use my apartment, when I had said it was okay before. (I thought consent was a thing where you could withdraw it at any time, for any reason- and I still think that.)

None of these are true, and many of them are even more damaging to my reputation than the analogy by Jane. You all were right, I should have left before, rather than fulfilling my obligations. I won't make the same mistake ever again. Reputation over obligation, from now on.
My girlfriend is once again mad at me, especially since I apparently am not upset enough. But to be honest... I don't really care that I've been kicked. I got everything I could get out of them, including something to fill my CV while I was recuperating, and guess what? It paid off, and I'm finally going back to work starting in the fall!
On the phone call with the secretary, I didn't defend myself. I only asked if there was anything else they could tell me, and thanked them for their time, and wished them a nice evening once we were done. Well, there was one other thing.
At the event, I was last minute forced to give a speech on a topic I'm very passionate about. It was about 40 minutes, originally meant to be a multi person thing, but everyone else (the leadership of the org, to be frank) dropped out, leaving me to do it all myself. My old "boss"- let's call him Frank- showed up. Frank was the big honcho at the event, so the leadership people pulled him aside as I was about to get started, and asked him for pictures. I didn't want to disrespect him, so I waited for them to finish. They took pictures for 14 minutes, and eventually, he forced his way out and into my audience.
I began my talk, and the leadership hung around. They started having a loud conversation in the back of the room, knowing that I was not at a microphone as that room did not have microphones, so they were interfering with the audibility of my words. Frank got up, and 'politely' asked them to be respectful and quiet.
They kept talking, and even got louder. Towards the end, Frank was red as a tomato, and he got up again, and this time I heard him yell at them- "Shut the F*CK up, this ain't about you!" After I was done, he apologized for their behavior (he doesn't know them), and told me I was looking great, and that he's looking forward to working with me again. I started crying, which I shouldn't have done, but hearing Frank say that was so special to me.
On the phone call with the secretary, I asked if there was any issue regarding my talk. They acted like they had no idea what I was talking about. But they knew.
So now I'm twiddling my thumbs until I go back to work, and trying to fix things with my girlfriend. She's suffered the most here, she didn't deserve this stress. I'm hopeful that as my career restarts, I'll be able to move on past this blip, without worry. My only fears are regarding my girlfriend's worry, and what my former colleagues might say about me behind my back to denigrate my reputation.
But all I can do is move on. So that's what I'll do.
Tl;Dr: They fired me based on a bunch of things that were conflated, but I don't really care anymore.

sorry, this is kinda long…. i’ve posted this a few days ago on another sub and people recommended me to reach out to you guys for an advice.
so, for context: i live in russia. my parents live in siberia but managed to buy an apartment in moscow long time ago, so when i finished high school i got into a university in moscow and started to live in this flat.
my mother is a very anxious and controlling person. when i was young she was constantly afraid of me getting into drugs (even though i had basically no friends and was 12 years old but she still checked if my pupils were dilated). also she used to check my phone obsessively until i was 15 and searches my drawers when we lived together, still does it the second she comes to visit. she didn’t allow me to do homework by myself and always tried to control my grades. she used to constantly infantilize me in my teenage years to the point where she didn’t allow me to wash my own hair (till i was 14) and tried to bathe me (till about 12-13) because “you can’t do it yourself properly”. when i got my first period at 11 she had a mental breakdown because i was “too young for that”. now i understand she was in denial of me growing up.
fast forward to high school. near the end of my senior year she would have mental breakdowns about me leaving home every day, sometimes several times a day. she was afraid that i would somehow get killed, raped, pregnant, addicted to drugs, etc. she was also convinced that i couldn’t survive alone: she believed i wouldn’t be able to cook, clean the apartment and use public transport even though i managed just fine when we lived together.
so, to “save my mother’s nerves” my parents decided to install a camera in the apartment. the camera is facing the front door. they told me it was specifically installed so they would know when i come home and if i bring anyone over. the first year of living alone with this camera was insane: my mom would have random breakdowns when i didn’t pick up the phone (i was sleeping because it was 8 am on sunday), came home a little late ( 8 pm, i decided to get a coffee with a friend after classes), ordered a delivery (a delivery guy can kill you), left my shoes near the door without putting them in the closet (you’re ruining our property), didn’t mop floors enough (just once a week and not every three days), etc. she would always facetime me as soon as i open the front door and interrogate me about my day. if i didn’t have enough stories to tell she would think i’m hiding something from her. she was always obsessively asking if i have a boyfriend and reminded that obviously i’m “not allowed” to have one.
so, naturally, i’ve learned to turn off the camera by turning off wi-fi, hang out in the city extra hours so i would come home when my parents would have already gone to sleep (we live in different time zones), sneak out through the window, etc. this kept me sane for a while and that’s how i’ve managed to hang out with my friends and go on tinder dates.
in october of last year i’ve met my now boyfriend on a dating app. i started to sleep over at his place a lot, mainly because he lived 20 minutes away from my uni, while my own apartment was an hour away on subway. soon we basically started to live together. at first i would come to my place every day just so the camera would send a notification, then turned wi-fi off and went back to his place. then i got lazy and went home just a few times a week, then just one time a week. obviously my parents have noticed that and we’ve had a lot of screaming matches of facetime about that. i gaslit them that the camera was just broken and i had no idea why it wasn’t working. i also told them that i have a lot of classes in the evening, so i’m not able to facetime them every day. we still text every day, my facetime only on saturday.
my mother is not a fun of this arrangement, she wants to talk at least two times a week so she has become financially abusive. basically if i won’t talk to her more she won’t send me money. if it wasn’t for my boyfriend, i would honestly starve. i always find an excuse why i can’t talk on sunday because i honestly can’t bear it, every time i talk to her i feel awful.
i consider her behavior financially abusive because she did EVERYTHING so i won’t be able to support myself financially. i wasn’t allowed to work part time during summer because she was scared for my safety. i’ve got full scholarships in several less prestigious schools but she convinced me it would be better if i go to a prestigious school with a demeaning classwork (promised me they’ll pay for school and cover my expenses), a lot of classes in random parts of day (the timetable would force me to work night shifts only). also the uni doesn’t offer student accommodation, so i’m basically forced to live in the apartment they own, can’t get a job without damaging my grades and have to do whatever they want so i wouldn’t be left with no money.
so, it’s been half of year of this. i’m living with my boyfriend, gaslighting my parents and live through periods of no money when my mother decides she’s missing me and needs my attention. the lying is exhausting.
in august they’ll come to visit and they’ll stay at my (their) apartment. people on the other sub recommended me some good ways of breaking the camera so my parents would believe it broke by itself. unfortunately it’s not a long term solution, because they certainly will install a new camera and when it’ll break again they would know i’m messing with it.
so, i have the following question and maybe you guys would have some ideas:

1. i don’t know how to manage the relationship with my mother in the future. i know she’s going to control me as long as she’s able to but is there a way to maybe loose her grip?
   
2. is the washing my haibathing me can be considered some sort of sexual abuse? if so, are there any other ways this type of abuse can manifest itself?
   
3. i have a friend who’s grandma’s behaviors is really similar to the ones my mother shows. when the said friend introduced her boyfriend to her family, grandma really loosened the grip because of the her sexist values (basically my friend wasn’t grandma’s responsibility/property anymore, but her boyfriend’s). so, maybe i should introduce my boyfriend to my parents?
   

there’s a chance they’ll like him: he’s a little older (25), earns more than my father does (which is a very decent income, my parents are middle class), his parents are VERY christian (my mother believes in god and some religious teaching, but goes to church like once a year, while his mother goes weekly and put all of her kids in christian schools, which is VERY rare in russia), has a flat in a center of a city, has a masters degree (which is very important for my mother for some reason). he’s overall social guy who looks fairly traditionally masculine (unlike all of my guy friends from high school, my mother hated them). he’s a very progressive guy, but he doesn’t have to show his political views, right?
honestly it seems like he is a guy my parents can tolerate, but i’m scared that if they find out about him they would stop me from living with him, or, even worse, would pressure me to marry him, which i don’t want to do in the near future (i’m not only 20 and i only know him for 6 months). if they would be against me having a boyfriend at all they can cut me off financially for the longer period of time and be more pushy about the virginity and purity topics. also if i break up with him it would be a tragedy for my mother because i’m “impure” now.

1. should i try to establish boundaries? i know it’s basically impossible to reason with people like them so any efforts towards independence would result in screaming and arguing. should i argue with them, tell them i’m an adult and can do whatever i want, or should i lay low and wait until i’m at least partially financially independent (2 more years). (yes, i’m getting a job in the summer as soon as the exams end even though the last time i attempted that my mother was furious)
   
2. i have a little sister. are there any way i can help her so she won’t have to deal with my parents’ bullshit to the extent i have to?
   

any advice would be appreciated

Alright, this is gonna be a lot. So I (23M) have recently started a secret fling with my online friend (28F) whom I’ve known for 3 years. She has a boyfriend and 2 sons, but her relationship is supposedly open. At first, I was fine with fucking around with each other, since her relationship is open and it’s just an online fling.
But here’s the thing, we’ve both admitted to having mutual feelings for each other, and while I’m happy that she reciprocated those feelings for me, I don’t know how this will affect her children and her boyfriend. No one in or outside of our friend group even knows this is going on. To be honest, it was her idea to keep the whole thing a secret, since she admitted to liking the thrill of sneaking around and doing stuff together without other people knowing, and I felt the same way so I agreed to keeping it a secret.
Up until a few days ago I confided in another online friend of mine (19F) and explained the whole situation and asked for advice, she believes that me and my taken online friend will lose some friends over this or maybe even ruin our own friendship if the fling goes south. She claims that flings never work out and we shouldn’t have rushed into anything anyways because it was immature and even keeping the whole thing a secret was “16/17 year old stuff” she says. She also brought up the fact that if we pursue something more serious, then I would have to provide for her and her children. This made me start feeling a bit torn between calling it off or just keeping it going.
Anyways, my taken online friend recently made plans to come visit me in a couple weeks for summer. In advance, I told my other online friends and even irl friends to not bother me during the days she will be over, but they don’t know that we still have a thing going on, besides one.
I’m absolutely fine with just being her fling but since we confessed our feelings for each other, I want to become something more. I also understand that I would be financially responsible for her children and her if we start a relationship, but I’m not sure if I’m quite ready, since I work at a grocery store and wont know how to really make ends meet. I keep thinking to myself “if she’s in an open relationship, shouldn’t she tell her boyfriend?” I’m not sure if I’m overthinking it but part of me thinks it’s wrong to be sneaking around behind everyones back. I don’t want to ruin her relationship with her current boyfriend and her children, as well as our friendship with each other and others in our friend group. I think this could ruin some good connections I have with my friends and I don’t want it to.
AITAH? Should I call off the fling? Is it normal for her to not tell her partner about the fling, or should I worry?

Edit: DO NOT message me a simple hi or hello, with no information about you, Put some effort in to your message like i have, come on. Day+Attempt#182
Hello everyone, Thank you for taking the time to read, I know its long, I know - I know. But its worth the read, Trust me. I appreciate you immensely.
Here's a bit about me,
My name is Jay, I live on the East coast of the US. I'm looking for love - like everyone else on here.., but you may not believe or even be doubtful that I've never had a GF before with me being 26, but its true. I'm simply just not willing to "be with" just anyone and I'm very picky. I want us to be a match, more than just have similar things in common.
One thing I have always been told is that I'm a "Real Catch, I'd be extremely lucky to have someone like you" - WELL THEN TAKE ME. I'M FREE. LOL.
About me:
Physically -
~I'm a semi-tall guy, around 5'10.
~I'm thin but muscular.
~I have dirty blonde/ brown hair.
~Changing colored eyes.
~A voice nice enough to melt all your safeguards and get right into your heart and weak spots.
~I do not have any tattoos or piercings. Though I would like to get some eventually.
If you'd like to see a picture of me just ask and I'll show you - IF I may see you as well, I simply just don't want a picture of me out there for anyone to see.
-If there's anything else you'd like to know just ask.
Otherwise -
~I do have 3 pet bunnies I would be more than happy to show you, they are extremely cute.
~I'm a very honest and down to earth guy.
~I'm very patient and easy going.
~I'm very curious and inquisitive. I will try to ask everything I can to learn all about you haha.
~I'm Very VERY Kind & Caring, I will probably ask how you are feeling a bajillion times a day, simply out of care for you.
~I can get pretty clingy, and will always want your attention and to be talking with you. If i have someone im interested in i wont want to talk to anyone else🤷‍♂️
~I'm very trustworthy - you can confide in me, and entrust your deepest secrets and I wont tell a soul.
~I'm a HUGE hopeless romantic, im old fashioned and will always try to impress you.
- I'm, a BIG softie even though I may look a smol bit intimidating, but I'd do just about anything to see you smile or laugh. And yes.., I do mean anything.
~I'm a big goof - I will get up to some silly shenanigans ALL the time, I will crack dumb jokes and send you memes and tik toks just to make you happy, even if its from across the room I'd wait to see your reaction lol.
~I'm extremely loyal, and would never even think of cheating.
~I will cook for you, and clean up too, even around the house, I'm very self productive and don't ask for much. Just don't forget to kiss the cook.
~I'd also love to just cuddle up and watch a movie or read a book together, anything to get us closer. Id try to take you out on dates whenever possible haha. I have a million SUPER romantic date ideas I have but have never had anyone interested enough in me to take out. Here's your chance ;)
~I will always want to share stuff I find interesting with you, and try to share every moment of every day with you. I'm not looking for someone who can only talk for a small amount of time, I want someone who's willing to put in all the effort I put into them back into me, it goes both ways. If I'm "with" someone you are my TOP priority nobody and nothing else would be. You would be the only person I'd truly want to talk to, so rest assured I would NEVER cheat, even more so because no one is interested in me - Hence why I'm here hahaha.
I'm sure there is more to me than this snippet but I cant think of more at the moment haha, so get to know me and find out more about me.
Some of my interests are: Engineering- I'm a nerd. I admit it. I love being technical and hands on, I love building things. All kinds of things, from furniture, machinery, and reverse engineering anything I find. I love learning how things work and trying to improve things.
Music - I prefer music with a very fast pace, or with some very meaningful lyrics I can relate to. I love to sing along to music and songs that have a deep meaning behind it I can sympathize with makes it all the better. Some bands I like are: Bad Omens, Beartooth, Demon Hunter, MIW, I9K - The list goes on. I'm a bit of a metalhead unfortunately.
TV Shows & Movies - I love watching shows, and I'd love to stream some shows and have some E-dates with you, to get to know you, or if you are close to me, maybe we could do it in person. Some shows I like or more of the Fantasy/Sci-Fi, Comedy, Action, stuff like: National Treasure, Halo, BattleBots, Rick and Morty, AHS, Anything Marvel or DC, The Witcher, Wednesday, The Sandman, The Magicians, The Umbrella Academy, ETC.
Gaming - Yes yes I know, Basic guy likes basic stuff. But gaming has been a thing for me since forever. I know most of you wont care or want to hear that, but I'll leave out the specifics on this part unless you are interested in that, MEGA Bonus points if you are.
Here's a lists of Cons to dating me-
~I'm not Ryan Reynolds. Disappointing, I know.
~I will fight you on what goes on pizza lol.
~I'm not rich.., Yet.
~I can't pronounce Worcestershire.
~I'm slightly forgetful, but with good reasoning.
~(Not really a con but- some might disagree) I still have ALL of my firsts, Do with that what you will c:
~I've got an endless pile of love and affection and no one to give it to! What a dilemma! Help me fix it?
Other than that I'll save the rest for a bit more of getting to know each other.
Here's a bit of what I'm looking in you:
~Preferably someone with lots of free time, and loves to chit chat. I'm seriously not interested in getting 1 message a day. Though I understand people get busy, I personally am not willing to try to learn about you and form something with 7 responses a week. Effort gets reciprocated and I appreciate the time you put in me.
~Physically: -I’m not personally attracted to anyone who’s “curvy/ chubby”, I apologize. Not a shallow thing, I just dont have the attraction chemical in my brain for that, I’m sorry. -If you’re shorter than me, thats a plus to me. -I love dimples, if you have those when you smile, bonus points 😊 - I’m not sure what else to put.., but as for nsfw wise find out😂
~I'm a sucker for a different accent other than American, and if you have an Posh English accent you have already won my heart.
~I'm also only really looking for someone within the ages of 18-35. I don't want anyone old enough to be my mom lol.
~I'd prefer (But not a must) people NOT on the other side of the world, as other time zones SUCK. I don't expect to find anyone who also has never had a boyfriend either, but that would be a real plus. I also don't mind a LDR, but I don't want that forever. But it gives us time to get to know each other.
But as for attributes I'm looking for in you:
~Someone who is above all else very very Loyal and would never cheat.
~Someone who is Honest, and will tell me the truth over a little white lie.
~Someone who is Kind & Caring, who'd constantly check on me, and accept me for who I am & help me improve day to day.
~Someone who is trustworthy, and I can count on to keep my secrets safe, or even just help me remember things.., I do tend to be somewhat forgetful.
~Someone who is very Patient and wants to see me succeed and will help me do so, just like I would help you. Even if its small day to day things, I would appreciate your company ANY time.
~I want a partner who is Affectionate, can reciprocate, and loves to snuggle and talk about their day, and what their interests are, and what makes them happy.
~Someone who can admit they get clingy or overprotective is a bonus.
~A partner with good communication is key, if something wrong we have to be able to talk about it.
~A partner who likes to game with me or at least watch me play would be a plus but not a requirement.
~Someone with a good sense of humor and like to joke around, I am a big goof after all and I love to joke around. Sending memes is always appreciated and good to cheer people up too!
~I'd prefer someone with the same music taste, but not a requirement, Plus if you wouldn't mind if I send you love songs occasionally that's a bonus, or sending me some back haha.
~Being willing to voice call is a must, Texting forever is not the way to go. I have to know what your voice is like haha, later on we can video call if you are comfortable with that. I prefer chatting on Discord because Reddit messages of any kind I'm sure you know are unreliable and sucky in general. So please send me your discord if you have one :)
~I would LOVE to see picture of your pets if you have any. Bonus points if it includes your beautiful self haha.
I'm sure there is more I'm looking for but I cant think of it right now haha, I will have to edit this when I think of it.
Please tell me about you as an opener! I told you a good bit about me, now its your turn haha.
Tell me some things like -
~What's your name?
~Where are you from?
~How old are you?
~What are your hobbies / interests?
~What about my post interested you?
~Where is my TV Remote?!
~Selfie? Pet pics?
~Hit me with your best joke or meme :)
~What's your favorite candy?
I'd LOVE to get to know you, and see where things go.
But yeah, I know it was long I'm sorry haha. Send me a message and lets get to know each other! :)

Okay, since I love to talk a little bit too much and have unintentionally killed one Godzilla (and no one shut me up yet, like my bot did today, lol)... I've noticed that my posts are based solely on my preferences - which don't necessarily align with what the majority of users think. But it's not my personal blog, and I want to know what the public prefers and expects from the Dopple bots, because this is what drives the team to improve and develop the platform.
As for me, I only want to have fun after a long day at work and escape into some cinematic / fantasy realm before sleep. It's like movies and books, but I can choose the plot and the characters myself.
I usually don't need an AI boyfriend / girlfriend / sexting partner. (Sometimes I do, but I use specific bots for this). But when I want a non-romance story, I don't appreciate flirty / horny behavior from the bots that are not supposed to initiate any romance in the first place, or when the context is anti-romantic. (The same with violence, but I don't do violence at all).
BUT I understand that many people want this, so my suggestion is to be able to choose - if I want the bot to be flirty with me or not. For example, there are categories, like "boyfriend", "girlfriend", "friend". If I choose "friend", then I want just a friend (without "benefits", even if the bot is 18+). What if there were an option to make *the chat* with the bot friendly / flirty / violent etc.? It would affect the conversation and the bot's behavior within one chat, but it wouldn't change the bot entirely.
Or maybe, just maybe.
Maybe, there would be categories like "nsfw" or "dominant / submissive" or "violent" - exclusively applied to the bots that are supposed to be like that, - not to each and every M(18+) bot?
Also, many people complained about too bookish style of the bots' speech. To me, again, - it's perfect. But I understand that many people like to chat with the bot like they do with friends (without, you know, "the sense of camaraderie"), and for them the bot's literary speech sounds too artificial and unspontaneous. What if we could choose the style of narration *within the chat* as well? Is this even possible?
I think it would be very convenient, because, let's say, there's a single bot - and many people who have completely different intentions and ideas of how to chat with it.
What do you use the bots for?

6 years ago I moved to far away country for university, I was nervous as I was stepping into a different culture; I thought that I would find it difficult to make friends. I met a girl in my class who was staying at my dorms and we became best friends. Fast forward to 2022 she had broken up with her boyfriend and was in a mess. She needed someone to talk to and I was there for her. We had a few drinks and one thing led to another and we ended up hooking up. Our friendship didn’t change as neither of us had feelings however a few months ago, we decided to go drinking again and she said something to me “I love you” this is the first time I’ve heard this in my life. Since then I’ve been constantly thinking and wanting to hang out with her.
I eventually told her that I liked her and she said she couldn’t and needed space due to that and other personal issues. I ended up being blocked because I still messaged. She unblocked me and we went back to being friends. Last week she got upset with me because I had asked her that she didn’t want to hang out, I apologized and eventually told her that I just missed having her around because I still had feelings for her.
She then blocked me the next day and told me to not text her again and that if I did she’d ask her brother to deal with it.
I’m very heartbroken, she’s one of the nicest girls you can meet and she hates me now. I really do care for her, but now it seems she hates me. I get very clingy and obsessive, I have no idea what’s wrong with me. I feel like trash and extremely lonely as she was the one I’d speak to the most.

My BF and i have been dating for 4 years. He usually gets me really cute gifts and I am always grateful when he gets me things. When he gets me clothes he always makes me feel bad if I don't choose to wear whatever he got me all the time. I honestly think it's because of my ADHD but in all honesty, sometimes I just forget I have certain items of clothes. He got me a dress over the summer, it was cute, I really liked it. It was more of a casual dress it was looser and flowy. I wore it a few different times and said I liked it, because I did. But if I'm being completely honest, I saw it more as a leisure dress, not really a dress to go to like an event or for an occasion.
We were having dinner with my parents for my birthday and I was going to put on a different dress. He made a comment about how he wished I wore the dress he got me. It wasn't a big deal, I thought it was cute that he wanted me to wear what he got me so I changed dresses. He got weird and started saying things like "oh you don't have to wear it if you don't like it.", "Its fine if you don't want to wear it, I just thought it was cute but its fine." after I had already put it on. I assured him that I did like it and reminded him about all the other times I wore the dress. It was one of those times where someone says "oh its fine." but they are still upset about it. I wore the dress he got me and a purse he got me and just tried to move on, because it wasn't a big deal.
I would not say I am a fashionista by any means... But I like what I like. Some people may see my style as lazy or boring. I don't go out a whole bunch so when I'm just living my day to day life... I like leggings or jeans and a t-shirt. In the summer I just like a tank and shorts. I would rather be comfy if I'm just in the house or running errands. But when I do go out, I am particular. I like form fitting clothes, I like pink, I like animal print, its what I like and what I'm comfortable in. I don't really care too much about how others feel about the way I dress but I do wish I had more of a style and maybe put a little more thought into my outfits.
My boyfriend has told me he feels like I could dress a little cuter. He wasn't like shitting on what I wear or anything but I told him that I felt like I didn't really have much of a style. He definitely has a style, I don't really know how to describe it. He wears a lot of retro-looking T's, he likes going to the thrift store or vintage places. Its definitely not like clean cut, suites or blazers at all (just to give an idea). Hes a guy and it looks cool for him to wear what he wears.
Anyways, we were going on a trip. He suggested we go to the thrift store and pick out some outfits. I agreed. Clothes shopping at stores is something I hate. I get over stimulated, I buy things I maybe don't love just because I'm stressed and not thinking correctly.... its a whole thing.. hence why I don't have much of a style. I have always hated clothes shopping. But we went and he was picking out a bunch of stuff for me to try on. I was getting overwhelmed and was feeling pressured.
So I got the things that I guess I liked the most out of what he picked out for me... but after I we got home I realized that all of the stuff was basically just clothes he would wear if he was a girl. not really stuff id wear or ever pick out for myself. But I thought maybe dressing out of my comfort zone would be a good thing since I did say I wanted to have more of a style. I gave the clothes a try but I didn't feel pretty, I felt like I was dressing like a boy. I do still wear some of the stuff we got because I did genuinely like a few things. But after he noticed I was wearing my regular clothes he made the comment about me not wearing any of the stuff we had got. I just said that I felt like some of the stuff was a little too casual and didn't make me feel very confident. He got weird again and seemed offended that I didn't love everything we had picked out together.
For Christmas he got me a very cute skirt. I really did love it. I wore it for Christmas eve, I wore it when we went out one night, and I wore it to a family event. I was going to put on a jean skirt for this family event, I didn't totally like the jean skirt look. Since I had wore the skirt he got me a few different times close together I was just trying to switch up my look, and like I said--- sometimes when I'm getting ready and feeling overwhelmed or unhappy with how I look in the current outfit, I sometimes I forget I have certain items of clothing. He suggested I wear the skirt he got me. I said "oh you're right! this looks much cuter." plus it matched more of what he was wearing.
He had gotten me a hair clip, it was absolutely beautiful and I truly loved it. we were going to a friends party, we woke up late and I was rushing like hell to get ready. I was thinking about a million different things, trying to get myself together and my hair was looking insane. my mind was just on looking presentable. He said, "why don't you wear the clip I got you." I went and grabbed the clip and put it in my hair. He said "I feel like I always have to remind you to wear the things I get you." I apologized, I didn't want him to think I didn't like the things he gets me. I was getting dressed and put on a pair of pants I recently got that I really loved. He said, why don't you wear that skirt I got you. I didn't want to wear the skirt, I wore the skirt many times and its more of a wintefall skirt not a spring skirt. Its a thick material. I wanted to wear the pants. I could tell he got salty about it. But I reminded him about all the other times I wore it and that he knows I like it.
Yesterday he got me a shirt. He texted me saying he wanted to give me something. I went over and unwrapped the shirt. It was from a vintage clothing store. It looked like it was from the 70's. But... it was something I would never wear... i think that maybe it was a child shirt because the arm holes were tiny and the hood on it was so small. I'm a smaller person but it was a little tight on me. It was colors that I have never worn... it was bright green, with burnt orange sleeves and white accents with a white tie at the neck and was a thick scratchy polyester material... it gave me like retro school sports team vibes? idk if that makes sense. Like a cheerleader in the 70's would wear it.. idk. It looked like something he would wear and more his style.
But I was extremely nice. I put it on, said it was cute. Talked about what bottoms i thought would look cute with it. I did mention it was a little tight. Said it reminded me of a vintage jersey he has. said I liked it, gave him a kiss and said thank you more than once. I was raised to be polite and never say you don't like a gift someone got you because its rude. I also know that this whole him buying me clothes thing and feeling like I don't like them is an on going thing with us it seems. I wanted him to know I was grateful. I made a big effort to make him feel good about the gift he got me, even though I didn't love it.
All of the sudden he gets weird like out of nowhere and lets out a big sigh, I ask him whats wrong and he says "I thought you would be more stoked about it but it's fine." I said "Why do you say that? I do like it." he said, "I thought it was cute but it's fine." I truly have no idea what I did for him to say that. Mind you, I was still wearing the shirt. It seemed strange and out of nowhere. It was like he was creating the narrative of me hating the gift and even after I adamantly said how I liked it and what I was going to wear with it, he still said that. It made me feel bad honestly but also made me think about it.. he mentioned again how I don't wear the stuff he gets me (which is not true.) and just kept moping around saying how excited he was to give me the shirt. I didn't say one negative thing about the shirt except that the sleeves were a little tight. But it made me feel like he purposely got me a shirt that he knew was not my style whatsoever and was expecting me to say something. and when i didn't, he just kept going and randomly saying that it seemed like I didn't like it...
I don't get it but i feel semi manipulated. Idk if that's the right word but after writing all this stuff out it all just seems like strange and sort of controlling behavior idk... am i being ungrateful and reading too far into this or is it a little weird that he has this idea that i hate and don't wear the stuff he gets me. am I wrong to think he purposely got me a shirt I would have never picked out just for him to mope around and feel sorry for himself despite me saying I liked the shirt?

so, I recently got a text asking me to babysit. Naturally, I said I would love to! However, she’s now trying to book me for a 13 hour day for 4 children, which I’ve never done before and don’t exactly want to do. The following day, I am babysitting for another family for four hours. This is the same weekend that my long-distance boyfriend is planning on coming home. If I keep both of these jobs, I won’t be able to see him at all. I really don’t want to on anyone, but I also don’t feel well equipped to work an entire day with four young children. Any ideas of solutions? I care a lot about professionalism so I’m really struggling. I have a hard time balancing work-life and I really want to see my guy but I don’t want to flake on clients.

My mom very sadly passed from cancer last year and left her house to me. I was living there while I took care of her. I wasn't sure what I wanted to do with it, I knew I had no intention of going through the process of selling it and moving right away. But it's hard being here and it doesn't feel like a home anymore without her. And a fresh start might be good for me. I'm only 30 and this is all so difficult with trying to figure everything out.
I'm thinking about down the line moving into my boyfriend's place and then possibly renting out the house. Here are some details:
Townhouse built in '99. 3 bed, 2.5 bath.
No mortgage.
HOA: $185.
Property taxes will be over $4000 this year.
All appliances are less than 10 years old, except for the oven.
HVAC system was replaced 3 years ago.
The kitchen and living room area were updated by the previous owner.
Comps show it could go for $2300/ month and it is in a desirable area.
I don't anticipate it needing any major repairs in the near future. It would need some cosmetic repairs before renting it out- new carpet, repainting, possibly updating the bathrooms, etc.
I know there are extra fees, like landlord insurance, lawyers, and a lot of work involved. I would also be very worried about ending up with a bad tenant. I do like the idea of a little passive income and being able to eventually sell it to fund my retirement.
Is it a good idea in my situation? Or should I save the potential stress and sell?

I posted this earlier on twoxindia sub. posting here agian for some general pov - https://www.reddit.com/TwoXIndia/comments/1clj60o/heated_conversations_with_boyfriend_on/?sort=new

hello girls,
long time lurker here. Sorry for the long essay here, but please bear with me. I want to be detailed and honest.
Me (24/F) has been dating my bf (27/M) for 2 years. We love each other a lot and things were great, until recently when his family started to insist on getting married soon and I had some interactions with his mother, which weren't very nice.
About us
Both of us are from UP, different cities though. He has a brother, while I'm the only child of my parents. Both of us are in tech, doing really good financially. He loves his job, while I'm still trying to figure out if I really want to continue doing this forever.
Marriage timelines
Me: it's pretty normal in my family for girls to get married around 30. I wish to marry around 30 and have kids before 35. I would love to take the 6 years ahead of me to explore life and have a good career.
Him: in this family, people generally marry around 25-28. He is facing a lot of pressure from his parents with rishtas coming. He also wants to settle down since he's pretty sorted in his career and also bought a house in BLR. He is very insecure of himself due to his hair fall (early stage pattern baldness) and is also insecure that he'll be 30+ and face rejections in AM if things don't work out between us.
I am open to settling down with him at 27 (2027) if our relationship goes well, which will be 30 for him. He is asking for some commitment or engagement around next year and then marry around 2026 end so that he's settled before turning 30. I don't want to start this marriage convo at my home till early 2026, and would want to marry around 2027 end. I want to be very sure so that I don't end up having a miserable life which many women in my family face. I cannot give a commitment at this point. I am sure for him - he's one of best guys I've ever met - but want to take more time to be sure of in-laws part and also sort out my career.
BF is open to waiting while I am open to doing it earlier than I wanted to. A year would be fine, but pushing for 3 years seem pretty daunting to him, given it's not just his parents, but he also wants to settle down and he is insisting to bring it down to 2, which means starting the convo next year.
Meeting our moms (not dads - cause that'll be serious)
He has met my mother twice and has multiple interactions with her over phone. Both of them get along very well and we have a very good time together. My mother clearly approves of him.
I have met his mother once, and had 4 phone calls with her. She was pretty nice when I met her in-person, but all phone calls were a disaster -

1. First call - the conversation was around what she cooks on which I commented "I'll definitely have it some day", to which she replied "do you mean seriously or you are doing time-pass. Don't do time-pass with me, say only if you are serious".
2. Second call - she was talking nicely to me, but then asked me to settle down soon so that she is free from her "responsibility"
3. Third call - i wished her happy birthday. She casually asked my mother's year of birth and commented that she looks pretty old in photos, which i feel was very rude.
4. Fourth call - it felt like a very poor small talk and she felt pretty uninterested in talking to me.

My BF insists the his mother is a nice woman and "she just wants her son to get married" and "she's not very sophisticated / very direct". He had a serious talk with her after all these calls asking her to be nicer to me, which I think is happening, but I also feel this builds some resentment in her for me, making her uninterested in the fourth call. I don't think that she really likes me, one big reason being the taboo of love marriage. For her, it's either marriage or "time-pass" and I clearly don't want to get married immediately. Even his brother, whom I have met multiple times and we also went on a trip together seems to not like me much because I am pushing his brother's marriage timelines.
I'm quite scared if she's so direct with me at this point, what might happen 3 years from now.
The drama of post-marriage life
I wanted to have a very clear conversation about the restrictions that might come post marriage.
While we are not living with in-laws and are pretty far from their reach, we understand they'll be visiting us and I am very open to asking them to live with us when they get old and needy. BF is also open to my parents living with us when they get old.
His family is a bit conservative and they usually expect their DIL to wear traditional. I rarely wear salwar-suit as I find them very uncomfortable. It's only for rare occasions and out of my free will. He convinced his mother that they should be comfortable with a t-shirt/lower since it's 2024. I agreed to wearing traditionals when I visit his parents and his relatives.
I don't want any restriction on my when my in-laws visit me. I wear shorts at home, even at my hometown and my parents are chill with it. I might not wear it everyday, but it's on my free will and comfort.
My BF personally does not really care what i wear and how i live. He has been very supportive through my best and worst phases of life.
He is insisting that he'll ensure I live how i want to when they visit for long stays, like a month or so, but if they are here for short stays (7-10 days), then I wear lowepants instead of shorts in order to be "modest" so that "his parents might not get uncomfortable" and "he avoids kalesh with his parents". He is optimistic that his parents will understand and grow with time, but I don't know how and don't want to bet for 10 years for them to get "comfortable with bahu wearing what she wants to". This doesn't limit to comfortable shorts at home, but also what i might wear when going out with colleagues or with girls.
I feel pressured into being something I am not and conforming to someone else's choices even in my own home. I might do it out of respect, but being "told to do so", that too 3 years before marriage is daunting to me.
The same conversation goes for things like sindoor and mangalsutra. I don't feel like wearing such symbols. A ring should be enough. But again, he's hellbent on making me "adjust for 7-10 days" and he'll magically put up a fight to let me be how I am if in-laws stay for a longer time. He is prioritizing being a "good son" over "what is right" or "his wife's comfort".
We had another conversation about "cooking food" or "helping out her mother in kitchen". We have pretty busy lives and time-consuming jobs. We are dependent on cooks for all meals. Both me and him cook some of the times. He helps his mother when there are guests and also cooks at home when she's sick, but I absolutely hate it. Again, I am open to helping out his mother when I visit them given he also helps, which he agrees to.
But they should not have expectations from me when they visit. There'll be a cook, but she might enter kitchen because they are not very used to cooks' food. If I am tired and don't feel like helping, I want my MIL to be understanding, rather than taunting me a "bad bahu". My BF is again hell-bent on insisting me to help out (he'd also help, not just me), but again I feel pressured to do be someone I am not. I might help, but I don't like the idea of someone commanding me if don't want to. It should be a choice.
Even if BF helps, I feel they'll resent me for making their son do deal with kitchen work. My BF is committing that I won't be alone in any chore, but I want to do it out of my will, not pressure.
We have fought a million times over past two months, with no resolution.
Please advice, how do you usually navigate this situation.
tldr - Boyfriend wants to get married sooner than I do. He is hellbent on making me wear "full pants, mangalsutra, and sindoor", "helping MIL in cooking" instead of what I want to wear and do even when in-laws visit us in our home. His mother and brother have not been nice to me lately. Given all this, I don't want to give up my individuality and conform to someone's expectations just to get married.

My boyfriend (23M) and I (24F) have made the decision to get married in July for our anniversary. We just wanna go to our county clerk’s office to get married on paper and then have a small party with friends and family later on at some point. I am a socially anxious person, so the idea of a big wedding or doing something as personal as marrying someone and reciting vows in front of people I’m not incredibly close with is very intimidating to me.
We’ve kind of been keeping it between us for a couple weeks, but I’m very excited and I told my mother, who I am kind of close with but in the past I was no contact with her for over a year, and my siblings who I don’t see often but have a good relationship with.
Now last night, I decided to tell my dad and stepmom, whom I am low contact with. I see them maybe once every couple of months despite living ~20 min apart from each other. We also rarely ever text, and never ever talk on the phone with each other. This is because my dad is explosively angry and we’ve had lots of fights over the past few years. He’s done a lot of things that he just hasn’t apologized for, and we have a lot of unresolved issues. This has caused me to distance myself and I’ve avoided going over there because it’s just uncomfortable and awkward, everything feels fake.
I went over to their house for dinner with them and my siblings, and I just broke the news before dinner. My dad was just very upset and angry. He was saying we need to wait until we have careers, that we’re not ready to get married. We both have stable jobs, live together in an apartment, and we’re able to support ourselves/each other so this just isn’t a relevant point at all. He was saying we all need to talk about it first, like it’s his decision and he has a say in what we do…we barely see each other or talk but for some reason he thinks we should’ve asked him first or something? My bf and I both don’t really have good relationships with our parents, so we made this decision together on our own, and are only telling our parents as a formality.
My dad also seemed to be offended that my boyfriend didn’t come and talk to him first and express his intentions with me or something, and also that he wasn’t present for the conversation we were having. I just told him that I was worried he’d get angry and that he’d start a fight with my bf and I so I wanted to talk to him alone first. For additional context, my dad has body shamed my bf to my sister and has said some pretty hurtful things about him, she told me immediately after. So my bf and I just kind of have a weird relationship with him after that since he’s never apologized for it. The conversation just ended with my dad saying he wants to talk to us both first, but I feel like he really just intends to talk us out of it.
I’m just not sure what to do now. My dad kind of made me feel bad about the whole thing. My bf and I love each other very much, and we’re very certain we want to get married and spend our lives together. We’ve been through so many difficult things and it’s just made us stronger. We’ve lived together almost our entire relationship and share finances, we always joke that we’re basically married already, we’re just wanting to make it official now.
If anyone has been through something similar or has advice I’d really appreciate it!
Tl;dr Tried to announce upcoming marriage to stepmom and dad who I barely see or talk to, dad was angry and they were not supportive.

I am a 28 year old male, from Spain, so excuse my English.
This is probably going to be a lengthy post, since there's a lot to say. I just hope it helps someone out there struggling with the same issues as I am.
Just to clarify, this relapse only has to do with p*rn, since I haven't been able to stop masturbating for more than 28 days in my life.
The title basically explains what happened. After more than two years without watching any sexual content, avoiding even the slightest possible hint of arousal material, I gave in. A few key things have happened to me, not necessarily bad things, just key points in my life. Let me breifly list the most relevant ones:
I recently broke up with a girl, because I felt like our relationship had no depth. I knew her for two years before being together. She had a boyfriend, so I waited for 2 years, after they broke up, to take my chances. She was obviously not ready to get into another relationship that soon, but I forced my way into her life, and we ended up dating.
After telling her how I felt, she told me she also had feelings for me, but obviously she couldn't date me because she wasn't ready. A month passed, and she hooked up with another guy, while were talking as if we were dating (which is not her fault, I was the one fantasizing over the idea). We ended up meeting and after a few days, and we ended up together. She was very open about sexuality (which I very much hated), and although she didn't watch p*rn, she read very explicit books, had several sex toys, and had a lot of experience. Some man find this exciting, but for me, this is actually a turn-off.
The guilt trip I had during the following 2 months was astronomical. Not being able to sleep, having this gut feeling that everything was wrong... I felt very jealous, and at the same time, since I felt cheated on (again, not her fault, we weren't together at the time), I felt numb to the idea of her cheating on me while being together. On top of this, she lived +500 KM away. We talked a lot over on the phone, watched shows together online, played games, and sometimes she would visit, or I would visit. It still wasn't enough. Our morals weren't aligned, and I felt like I wasn't being myself. I was becoming someone else just to be with this girl.
I ended up breaking up with her. Things ended peacefuly, although bittersweet, but we talked in person, sorted everything out, and decided to stop seeing each other. We haven't spoken since, and 6 months have passed by. I realized not too long ago that my drive to being with her was none other than pure lust and the fear of being alone. I wanted to sleep with her and at the same time I was completely heartbroken after what happened, and I just made it worse. I ended up sleeping with her a few times, and I realized in those moments just how childish I am.
I moved out of home about 5 months ago, since I wanted to try living alone. There are a lot of benefits, and I don't think I'd go back to living with my parents (although we have a very healthy relationship and I love them very much). But living alone? I've never felt so numb and emotionaly drained in my life. The burden of working from home 10+ hour shifts on a daily basis and having no physical contact with anyone for days and days is dreadful. When loneliness kicks in, it all turns out worse. Oviously, my coping mechanism was masturbation (no explicit content until today, so that's 5 months living alone without even thinking about watching anything sexual), binge eating, and playing videogames. I consider myself to be fairly healthy, and I love sports, but if I'm honest, exercising has not been a priority in my life for the past few months. I work a lot, sometimes 12+ hour shifts, and sometimes I feel so burnt out I don't even feel like doing anything other than doom scrolling on YouTube Shorts (habit I also picked up recently, and probably the cause of my relapse), and fighting the urge to PMO.
So, today, after fighting for more than two years, it happened. I have to admit, I knew it was going to happen. I've been slowly progressing towards watching more and more sexual content since I started watching YouTube shorts. The content would get a little more explicit from time to time (OF models, dumb videos, dance Tiktoks...), and I sometimes got carried away and took a look at their profiles (without going into any of their explicit content). I've been feeling a lot of emotional drain, very burnt out, and even though I knew PMO was not going to help, I lost the battle. It did not scratch the itch whatsoever, probably even made me realize how stupid it was. I didn't particularly enjoy it, but I did it anyway.
My background with p*rn is lengthy (as a lot of young males). I was exposed to it quite young (around 7 years of age). It wasn't until I was quite older (around 15) that I used it for self pleasure. Before that it was just pure curiosity, but I didn't even understand what was going on. I had my ups and downs, but I managed to stop wathching it about 3 years ago. Being p*rn free felt really good, and I do believe my mental health has been better ever since, but... You never forget what you watched. Sure, memories get fuzzy and you don't remember things with a lot of detail, but... You'll never forget.
I would never want my future wife to suffer because of my sexual urges, and I feel like I have a lot to work on before getting into another relationship. Sure, no man is perfect, and a lot of girls suffer this too, but this is a heck of a problem, and everyone is aware of it.
The worst part is being aware of the problem but not really knowing what to do about it. Sure, you could just say I slipped up and shouldn't beat myself for it, but... It just feels unnecessary. I'm going to try my best to beat it, and I know that I should just try and go outside more, but I also have to get some time off work in order for me to go out more. There's a whole bunch of stuuf that ended up in a relapse...
So... What now? I feel like I sinned greatly for consciously doing something I knew perfectly well that was wrong. I don't feel like I can forgive myself, since it's something I could probably have avoided. I will try my best to fix these problems one by one and truly try and repair the damage I did to myself. I want to be worthy of marrying a pure woman who I can sincerely love, not just lust over... The fight is tough, but it will get better, I'm sure of it...
Take care guys, We got this.

Hi all. I’ve been on fluoxetine for two months now and three weeks ago we increased it to 40mg from 20mg. Which feels like it’s been helping except for this last week.
I just got off a session with my psychiatrist and had an abrupt crying burst about my relationship with my boyfriend. She was concerned and said she wanted me to trial a low dose of lamictal on top of the 40mg of fluoxetine I’m on. She said it would help with how I’m feeling right now since I’ve been feeling a lot of intense emotions this past week (I also want to mention I was on my period this last week, so it’s been hard to decipher if that has anything to do with my emotions as well). I’m really scared because I have no idea what this medication is. She said it treats epilepsy but I don’t have epilepsy. She also said it has a calming effect but if I don’t like it, I can just stop taking it. Can anyone give me any advice being on it? Or what you can tell me about the medication? What has your experience been?

Hi, english isn't my first language so beware of my grammer mistakes. Also i don'tknow if this is the right sub reddit for this. I am a having a story delema. I had started my fisrt ever campain 3 almost 4 years ago with a my friend and a dm that is one of my players that is the kinda the player i need help with not knowing what to do with him. Because i liked dnd but i think SOME of the lore of the game is stupid i started making a world of my own that at first i wasn't planning to run a game ever, but around this time last year i desided ...eh why not try be a dm and play in the world, might as well do something with it now that is created. My players are my friend who indrudeced me to dnd playing as a half drow wizzard A friend of my friend who plays a female warlock/bard with an obsetion over this fark book full of dark knowlage....they are the only evil character in the game( something the dm of the fist campain i ever played isnt a fan of cus he just doen;t like evil characters for some reason). My cosin that plays dnd for the fist time -him being a paladin of Tyr. The best friend of the Dm of first campaing i ever played (who plays a 15year old BLIND haffling monk) and obviusly the dm of my previous camoain...i am going to call him PrevDM (from previos dm). sooooo prety much lore is that 1000 years ago bullshit cosmic horror shit happened that the BBEG caused and history is repeating itself kinda. Thatis the basic idea of the game. I told my players that hey i am running a game centared around kinda cosmic horrory shit and wanted to talk with each one on how to fit their character with the lore they wrote into my world so they feel more grounded in the world with my only rule being hey...i really really don;t like warforced pls don;t pick a warforged cus they don't really exsist in my world. Everything was fine untill i had to talk to PrevDM who ofcourse was like but i wanna play a warforged.....he wanted to play an emtionaless mashine that use to be human and he has to colect his soul shards and each one returns him a emotion he has lost.... At first i tried to convinve him that that isn;t a good idea, cus eventually he will get bored of playing an emotionaless character and that warforged don't really exsist in my world. He persisted and eventually i gave in. So we made the backstory that he is the only warforced in the world and he had died 1000 years ago around war and his soul was used to craft this mashine to protect something so that the cosimic horror shit doen't enter the world again, but to craft him they had to employ a hag and the hag being a hag decided that shatther the soul and spred the shards all over the fucking world cus ...fuck you to the dwarfs who were making this thing...that didn;t change anything much so they put him to gard the thing but cus he was missing his soul shard eventually he started losing his power (his lvls) forgot his purpose and fucked off into the world findking the child halfling and hanging out with him. ....there is much more then that like the fact he is the father ot the BBEG who died cus the BBEG betrayed him and so on which doesn't much matter to this right now EVEERYING seemed fine....he was happy he god to play his warforged...i figured out a way to conect him to the world's lore which requred few changes...but you know nothing major and it made a player satified untill for some reason PrevDm desided he had a problem with only evil character in the game.....AND NOT CUS OF INGAME CHARACTER DRAMA OR ANYTHING.....it was just personal ...just prev dm doesnt like at all evil characersfor some stupid reason and he had problems with the player cus they left his game : acoriding to prevdm they left cus he didn;t allow them to play evil character.....acording to the player they left cus they had family drama....i don't know who is right in this situation cus on one hand yeah the player seems to be obcessed with playing evil characters and gets seemingly annoyed at not being allowed to be evil which at times is very much annoying and also when he left the game cus of the supposed family drama they were playing other games on their computer (discord thing where it sniches which game the person is playing ) ....BUT on the other hand the PrevDm is weird and has anger issues and the player might really have had family drama just afther it had died over they desided insead of joinning back to just spend their time playing video games..... I honestly don;t know who is right and i don;t care the fact of the matter is that PrevDM started compaining to me constantly for the most random shit ever, first about this player /character then how the game just wasn;t fun for him or something be he only stayed to be a good Boyfriend and to support me. Which pissed me the fuck off alot for obvious reasons... Eventually the PrevDM was like Hey i no longer enjoy the character. me: why him: cus he don't have any emotions me............................................................................ the reasons i am pissed: FIRST OF I fucking told him that he won't enjoy this character....But he insisted and argued with me all fucking DAY how he wants to play this character I GAVE IN ...I changed my lore, i did everything i could to make shit work with this character and he just threw it all away for the most stupid of reasons AND HE DID THIS afther he knew how much i needed his character to do something with the campain.... He knew more stuff then most players cus he is an experianced DM, he knows how to keep a secred and other reasons and i needed help with figuring out some stuff cus i DM for the fist time....He knew i was trying to conect personally each of the characters to the BBEG, He knew that his character and all of the players's characters are needed for some shit to happen so that the BBEG to come back. He knew kinda what i was trying to do and then he desided to just RUIN everything.....i was like OK talk to me WHY you don;t enjoy the character we can WORK to change him alil so you can enjoy him, maybe i can do something to give him soul shards so he can have more emotions or something and he was like NOPE the character doesn;t work well with the party i just want a new character (which is honestly FUCKING BULLSHIT and i feel like the reason WHy he didn;t want to be this character is because he coudn;t be the fucking leader of the group and his argument is that the group doesn;t do anything if he doesn;t lead them and as an emotionaless mashine he can't do that................................................while yes...my players don't really have a deraction on what they want to do and they do need a leader or something like that...but also the evil character was kinda playing the role of that in a strange way ).... at this poin i am just lost for words angry and pissed but i don;t want to argue at that moment SO AGAIN I AGREE and the character he gives me has the dumbest backstory that can be summerised into 5 sentances that doesn;t fit anywhere with anything i was trying to do: His backstory is that he is a changeling from this one city that is reserching magic and shit like that. His mom didn't give him much attention cus she was bussywith magic shit. Someone killed his dad and took his head. He went out to look for it he got it back but also ended up in the cult of Myrcal and some bandits stole his father's schull that he was using as a cleric item that channels cleric magic idk how it is called. And now AGAIN he is looking for his father's schull.....the end
....AND NOW I ASK HOW THE FUCK DO I INTEGRATE THIS BULLSHIT INTO THE WORLD IS MY QUESTION FOR WHICH I NEED PEOPLE"S HELP ....i allowed hiim to play the fucking character....YES he works fine with the party i woudn;t say better then the previus one but doesn't matter at this fucking point....
I am LIVID still even mounths after it has happened cus i just find it kinda Fucked up that you argue with someone to let you play something they told you shouldn't and that isn;t part of the lore, you get allowed to play as that thing and then cus you are looking for an excuse to take the leader role ,cus you are unhappy that the evil character is startig to get that role and the party is doing some shady shit, you UNABLE TO FUCKING EXPEST THAT HEY PEOPLE CAN DO AS THEY FUCKING WISH you throw away the fucking character AND THE LORE i had to fucking change just so you could be in fucking controll......BUT IT DOESN":T MATTER RIGHT THE PLAYER IS ALLWAYS FUCKING RIGHT AND IT MATTERS THAT THEY ENJOY THE FUCKING GAME...IT DOESN:T FUCKING MATTER WHEN THE DM PUTS WORK INTO SOMETHING AND YOU RUIN IT .......... BUT IT DOESN"T MATTER....i can;t fugure out ANYTHIG i can do with this new character of his.....cus how ever i spin it he just isn;t conected to anything in the world besides this one fucking shull and that one city that isn;t important for the curent chapter at all.
his previus character is a npc in the backgrou cus i stll need him for the fucking bullshit to happen with the BBEG. and what was going to happen was prety much: they resaved a visiion in the beggining of the campain of the place the previus character of the prevdm was garding, i was setting it up as if they have to do something there to stop it not knowing that THEM GOING THERE is what triggers the thing that releases the BBEG into the wolrd again. And every player had something that was important to them and their backtory that was needed to release the BBEG into the world. 1 the soul of the father ( the full soul cristal of the warforged), 2 the blood of the heir (the wizzrad half drow who is actually the grandson of the BBEG and the grand grand son of the warforged) 3 the book that bellonged to the BBEG that is curently being held by the evil character, 4 the mask of lies that is being carried by the blind halfling child and it helps him "see", and 5 the simbol of devotion that my cousin is yet to find.
and how do i conect him to this stupid thing...do i even need to ? ....and no the shull of the father won;t work cus the changelings who were a group of idiots who wanted to reserch magic at all costs to gain more power but in their quest to do so they lost their identaty and they poped up into the world 200-300 years before the curent day in the world...so there is no way they can be connected to the thing that happened 1000 years ago...and i can;t chage it cus the reason why they fucked up themselfs to become changelings is cus they were inspired by what happened 1000 years ago.
halarriusly cus the other day i got angry and expianed to him why the fuck i am still mad at him he said oh i can play the character again if you want.....but at this point if i do make him play the character i would be feeling bad cus i would be forcing him to play the character and second the other players might think that i am favoriting him over them allowing him to change his characters when ever he fucking wants....so i am stuck having to plan for his curent character........ ^{AND BECAUSE I AM LIVID about the whole situation no matther how much i think about it i can't figure out anything to do with his character....SO PLS give me ideas or anything i can do with his character cus i am too blinded by rage to think.}