I hesitate to post this because I've been on reddit for years and know ya'll can be vultures but here it goes:
TL;DR - Fiancé and I are confused and exhausted. We're currently a dead bedroom, it's my doing. He needs more physical intimacy and for some reason I can't provide it. He has cheated, only since physical intimacy stopped, although he does not agree it is cheating. He knows he has hurt me. Blah blah blah, wedding is postponed, we've discussed an open relationship and/or taking a break.
Background:
We have been together for 10 years, engaged 2. We're in our early 30s. Wedding is planned for next year. No kids, but 3 dogs together.
The beginning of our relationship was like any new relationship. We were young, the honeymoon phase seemed never-ending as we didn't see each other often, and sex was new and exciting.
2 years into dating, I started birth control. Immediately, we didn't notice many sexual side effects, but looking back, there probably were. We had both been taking antidepressants/ anti-anxiety medication before we met, and we both currently still take those medications. We know these have sexual side effects, for both of us.
After dating a few years we moved in together and shortly after, sex became infrequent. About 3 years into living together he brought up concerns about lack of sex and physical intimacy. I eventually realized I got comfortable and content, and didn't prioritize sex and physical intimacy as I should have been. I promised I would change, but I unfortunately didn't. Around this time, he sent a nude photo of himself to a friend of mine. I couldn't believe it, he told me a few days later, and promised to never do anything like that or to hurt me like that again.
Fast forward to now, we own a house together, and still unfortunately, I have done little to nothing to increase my sex drive and physical intimacy. I start little things but no progress is made. For example I say I'm going to plan a "sexy time" but it just doesn't happen. I did surprise him with a photo album of sexy polaroids of myself, which he enjoyed. But maybe a year later he asked a different friend of mine for sexy photos. I think he's just missing that attention that I should be giving him. His love language is physical touch, mine is acts of service and gift giving, and I struggle to show him love in the way he wants to be shown (physically.)
Since our engagement, the past year has been filled with discussions about our dead bedroom: why it happened, can we fix it, etc. For both of us, it's been almost impossible to be excited about being engaged or planning a wedding or getting married because of this issue. We've agreed that we don't want to get married if we're not excited, so we're postponing the wedding. Also, we both see a therapist and have started couples therapy.
Where it gets complicated:
He recently told me that last year, he visited a club a few times. Only on one occasion it got physical: he received a handjob, (I do believe him because at this point there's nothing to hide.) This handjob visit occurred 6 months after he proposed. Leading up to these club visits (which remember, I didn't know about until recently) he would urge me in a healthy way to be intimate, communicate his needs, and so on. But for whatever my multitude of reasons are that I'm working out in therapy (vaginismus, piled on stress, self-esteem issues, maybe not being attracted or turned on by my partner, low libido, possible imbalanced hormones, health scares that may have caused trauma) I just couldn't do it. Of course I regret it, I don't know what's wrong with me and I wish I could snap my fingers and fix it. So I do understand why he went to that club.
We truly do not know what to do. We love each other. We've been through so much, helped each other through a lifetime of stressful events, and experienced such great things together. We've talked about our future together for the past decade. But we also recognize that time spent together does not mean you should or are obligated to stay together. We recognize that right now, neither of us are happy and something needs to change.
We've briefly mentioned opening our relationship, taking a break, or both. But we don't know what that entails. Since we live together and the dogs are like our children, we don't know how a break would logistically work. As for opening our relationship, considering the infidelity, I just don't know. But at the same time, there is no sex or intimacy happening and I want to see him happy in that way. I feel like it would improve his mental health. Our therapist has been focusing more on us rather than discussing those options at the moment.
Of course there is so much more to a decade-long relationship, and I'm trying to be as neutral as possible when writing this. But we just feel like we're in this best friend, roommate, sometimes cuddle limbo and are avoiding truly discussing it because we know the options...we just don't. know. what. to. do. So if anyone has any actual advice, similar stories, or experiences with an open relationship or taking a break (while engaged) please share.
Also if you're going to respond with something unnecessary or unhelpful like "just break up" we'll save you the time and say thank you, we've discussed that option as well.

Hey,
​
This is gonna be long-winded and probably incoherent, but I just need to get this off my chest and if you have any insight regarding why it's constantly happening to me I'd love to hear it.
I consider myself a pretty introverted guy, but I've generally had no issues talking with girls and getting dates, more so recently of course, since I've been growing more comfortable in my own skin. I'm definitely a romantic, I never understood the attitude of guys that treat girls like trash, that just doesn't compute in my head. If I love something, I'm going to take care of it to the best of my ability.
I think we have all had that experience of "the one that got away", well mine was no different. The girl I met when I started uni was special, she was drop dead gorgeous, completely my type, witty and cracked jokes like I would, we finished each other's sentences, we had the same ideas and ambitions. Everything was going great, I was on cloud nine and I never even thought about this like that, but this girl made me think that she's the one I'm gonna marry. We were celebrating new year's at a mutual friend's house and we hooked up, it was phenomenal. Literally 2 days later she ghosts me out of nowhere, I panic. I reach out to talk to her face to face to see what's going on. She obliged reluctantly and word for word said "I'm sorry it's not going to work, you are too good for me".
Now, I've had my heart broken a few times by this point, but this... This was devastating.
I went to a dark place in my own mind, stopped talking with everyone, started doing drugs and generally engaging in self-destructive behavior. It was really hard accepting the fact that my best was never enough for her, I blamed myself constantly, I cried dozens of times alone outside. Whenever a song came up on the radio that reminded me of her my whole mood changed, even if it was jolly prior. I generally am able to keep a cool and straight face when I'm around family as I never want to talk about my own problems, mostly because I know that if I do I will fucking meltdown so I steer clear, I never want them to feel sorry for me, but even they thought something weird was going on and kept asking me questions.
It took me a good 3 years to accept what happened and start trying to move on, as you can imagine my confidence was shattered for that whole time and my self-worth was at an all time low. I started dating again, but not to find love, I don't believe in that anymore, just for sex and to feel wanted. I would tell girls what they wanted to hear, hook up and bail. Hell, sometimes they only wanted sex too, that was optimal. If I didn't get intimate with a girl on the 2nd date I would just look for someone else, I never wanted to put in any effort into actually cultivating anything meaningful or fulfilling. I would always feel like shit when I would pump and dump, because deep down I know what I was doing and that it wasn't me, but I also craved the satisfaction. Looking back, I was definitely perpetuating my own trauma.
Now, I used mainly dating apps, sometimes just start texting people I knew. But a few weeks ago I was at the supermarket and just on my phone walking, when some girl just ran in front of me at speed and knocked me off balance for a moment, she just glanced back at me and I saw how pretty she was, it sent a shock down my body. She was hurrying to get some beer, which I respected and admired. When we were on our way out I approached her to talk to her, told her she caught my eye and asked for her number. She gave me the digits, but she was so flabbergasted it was really funny and cute. We went on a date the next day, she's amazing, we mesh so well together. She's smart and responsible, takes care of her parents same as I do, we found a lot in common. I was thrilled, I never approached anyone like this and the time I felt that I had to do it - it paid off in a big way. I was falling for her and she was for me.
We went on dates, we had fun, talked and walked a lot. I bring her lunch to work, flowers sometimes. She was celebrating a sister's birthday one evening and I had taken her from the place to her apartment, she said she wanted me to stay the night, so I did. It was glorious, we both had a great time.
After that she ghosted me, she doesn't text me first anymore. I have to show all the initiative now, whenever I try to set up dates she's busy. To be fair she is pretty busy, she has 2 jobs and she's one of those people like me that don't pull out their phone when hanging out with someone, just not that attached to technology which I really vibe with. She spends a lot of time with her family, she has sisters and cousins that are all the same age and they hang out in the evenings at her place or at her sister's place and I trust that she's not lying. I've met her cousins, they are all really sweet. But I just feel like she's lost interest in me, I keep trying to get something going but her response times are getting longer and longer.
Honestly I've never seen a switch flip so suddenly, it's like she's a different person now. We used to be so intimate, not only in a sexual way but she would sleep on my chest, hug me in her sleep, squeeze me and not let me go, now she barely gives me any attention. It feels like I'm a burden on her right now. She told me that she has always had trouble with relationships because she's so busy with work and it never worked due to this, but I also feel like she could make time for me if she wanted to, but just chooses not to. I feel like I'm about to get my heart annihilated again.
I don't want to lose her, she made me believe in love again. I truly love this girl and want to build my future with her. I keep fighting the urge to reach out to her and try to make it work, but I think that pulling back might be the best play, however painful it might be right now.
Why is it that always when something good happens to me it never lasts.. Always disappointment after disappointment. What is wrong with me?

https://www.titanicology.com/Titanica/ObjectOnTheBarge2.pdf
I found this fascinating article about the center propeller and the famous 'object on the barge'.
In the article "The Object on the Barge – Part 2: Sizing the Object" by Samuel Halpern, published on August 23, 2021, the author investigates the identification and dimensions of a marine propeller seen in a 1912 photograph of a barge carrying a floating crane that serviced the Titanic. In an earlier study, Halpern demonstrated that the photographed object was a solid-cast, three-bladed marine propeller. This propeller closely matched a CAD model designed based on the specifications of Harland & Wolff (H&W) for Titanic's central propeller.
Proof of the Dimensions
Halpern poses the question of whether the propeller in the photograph is indeed the central propeller of the Titanic. To answer this question, it is crucial to determine the exact dimensions of the propeller in the photograph. The CAD models and H&W specifications form the basis for this comparison.
Methodology

1. Photographic Analysis: The author begins by examining an uncropped photo of the Titanic in the Thompson drydock in February 1912. By analyzing the position of the camera and studying the angles of the barge, Halpern concludes that the angle α is approximately 45 degrees.
   
2. Use of Trigonometry: Using trigonometric calculations, Halpern calculates the dimensions of the propeller relative to the width of the barge. Based on the angle α and the width of the barge (W), he calculates the value of X, the measured width of the propeller in the photograph. This value is then converted to the actual size using scale ratios.
   
3. Verification via CAD Model: By comparing the CAD model of the propeller in different orientations with the photograph, Halpern calculates the diameter of the propeller (D). He uses measurements from the printed image to derive the ratio between measured values and the actual diameter.
   
4. Barge Dimensions: Thanks to the specifications of the barge (length 150 ft, width 85 ft) from an article by Brad Payne, Halpern can fill in the missing value W in his calculations.
   

Results

• Propeller Dimensions: The calculations show that the diameter of the propeller in the photograph is 16.95 ft, which is very close to the specified 17 ft for Titanic's central propeller as noted in the H&W engineering notebooks. This implies a strong likelihood that the propeller in the photograph is indeed Titanic's central propeller.
  
• Robustness of Calculations: Halpern examines the sensitivity of the calculation to small variations in angle α. Even with variations of a few degrees, the diameter of the propeller remains within a range consistent with the specifications for the Titanic.
  

Conclusion
Halpern's research indicates that the propeller seen in the photograph on the barge is very likely the central propeller of the Titanic. The accuracy of the dimensions, which closely match the H&W specifications, strongly supports this conclusion. The article underscores the importance of detailed analysis and precise calculations in establishing historical facts. This study may also represent the only known photograph of one of Titanic's propellers, apart from the wing propellers at the wreck site.

Hello!
I have never used a VPN before; hence, I am looking for some recommendations.
Mainly because I would like to access shows that are restricted from my country when I use YouTube, Netflix, etc.
Thanks for the help!!

This song is the song where I have the most issue with when it comes to the fans' interpretation of it. Their biggest argument for this is the football references, but they fail to consider that the football metaphors were just a way for Taylor Swift to draw parallels between the (American) football world and her situation.
In this analysis, I'll be doing a line-by-line breakdown of why this is not a Travis Kelce song, but is instead a song that she wrote where she is directly addressing her fans, much like how "But Daddy I Love Him", and "Who's Afraid of Little Old Me" were written.
Here it goes. Please bear with me!
This happens once every few lifetimes

• Suggests a rare and significant event. Taylor's comeback after a major public backlash (Kim Kardashian's Snakegate incident) and hiatus was a unique moment in her career, and in anyone's public career, really.

These chemicals hit me like white wine

• The "chemicals" symbolize the rush of emotions and excitement, akin to the thrill she feels from reconnecting with her fans by organising the Eras Tour.
• "White wine" can imply a pleasant, intoxicating experience, like the support she gets from her fans (look up her sales and streaming charts).

What if I told you I'm back?

• The "you" here directly addresses her fans, announcing her return to the public eye after a period of "absence".
• IMO this line is not at all a shade to Joe, but directly references the line "but I come back stronger than a 90s trend" in willow.

The hospital was a drag / Worst sleep that I ever had

• This song is a direct reference to epiphany, and, on a bigger picture, the pandemic. We must remember that her plans ("Loverfest") were all cancelled thanks to Covid.
• The line also metaphorically refers to her time in "hiding" or dealing with the aftermath of the public fallout, which was a difficult and restless period.

I circled you on a map

• This is the easiest line - she always plans her tour ahead and would choose the locations that she would be performing at.
• This symbolises her plan to reconnect with her fans, targeting them, in each location, specifically as her focus upon her return to touring.

I haven't come around in so long / But I'm coming back so strong

• This line once again emphasises her "hiatus" and assures her fans of her strong comeback.

So when I touch down / Call the amateurs and / Cut 'em from the team / Ditch the clowns, get the crown / Baby I'm the one to beat

• "Touch down" signifies her reentry into the music industry. "Call the amateurs and cut 'em from the team" represents reclaiming her position, emphasizing that she is the top artist and dismissing those who doubted her or tried to take her place.
• "Baby I'm the one to beat" represents her thoughts that she's the one "ahead of the curve" (this is me trying). Now, couple that with her AOTY award for her albums "folklore" and "Midnights", despite the strong competition she had (SZA, Harry Styles, Dua Lipa) - no, folks, Taylor Swift is the one to beat.

Cause the sign on your heart / Said it's still reserved for me

• Indicates the unwavering loyalty of her fans who kept a place for her in their hearts despite her absence and the controversies surrounding her (in general)
• .

Honestly, who are we to fight the alchemy?

• "Alchemy" symbolizes the magical, transformative bond.
• Taylor thinks that the bond between her and her fans is a magical one, one that withstands challenges and changes.
• The Alchemy is what makes her bejeweled.

Hey you, what if I told you we're cool? / That child's play back in school / Is forgiven under my rule

• Now, this line is where she addresses her fans directly. In this line, she is suggesting that she forgave all that drama ("child's play") back during the snakegate. (disclaimer: we know she forgives, she forgets, but she never let's it go -- so let's move on from this one lol)
• But basically, between her and the general fans, she's saying that she's 'moved past' what she thought was her fans' reaction to the the public feuds and media drama.

Now, let's move on to the bridge!
Shirts off, and your friends lift you up over their heads / Beer sticking to the floor / Cheers chanted, cause they said

• This is where she uses the football metaphor to describe the celebratory atmosphere of her concerts, the unity, and the joy her fans experience together.

There was no chance, trying to be / The greatest in the league / Where's the trophy? / He just comes running over to me

• This line! Basically reflects on how she defied the odds and criticism to become the "greatest" with the support of her fans, symbolizing victory and recognition.
• By all means she is currently "the greatest".
  • She is, afterall, the first person in Grammy history to win album of the year four times.
  • Her name is definitely up there as one the greatest of all time, according to Billboard.
  • There's more but I mean, it's like repeating the same points basically.

These blokes warm the benches / We been on a winning streak

• In this line, she is trying to say that everyone else are just warming the benches, while she's the one who's been out there on a winning streak with folklore, midnights, and the eras tour.
• Her usage of "we" here indicates not only "her", but everyone involved, including her fans. This reinforces the alchemy that she has with her fans, and that all of this is a mutual success, i.e. she would not be here without the support of her fans.

He jokes that it's heroin but this time with an "E" / Cause the sign on your heart said it's still reserved for me

• This line is a controversial line, because of her usage of the word "he". Now, who is "he"? Is it Travis Kelce? Or could it be Matty Healy, considering his history with the pills? In this song, this actually does not matter. Why?
  • The point of this line is to symbolise the feeling she feels when she's performing, bejeweled, in glittery skirts, and the feeling insider of her when her fans giving her a standing ovation. To her, this feeling is euphoric. It's like taking heroin.
  • Because she is a female artist, she feels like a heroine in her show. Everyone pays attention to her, and only her. As with all heroines in movies (specifically, those movies with no heroes).
  • Combining both together, "Heroin with an 'E'" signifies as a powerful, euphoric connection (her and her fans) that's not destructive (unlike Heroin), but rather, a positive, euphoric, and uplifting feeling.
• Again, the "sign on your heart" symbolizes fans' loyalty.

and finally, this line....

• Where's the trophy? He just comes running over to me.
  • Before I do a deep dive on this, let's establish the definition of the "trophy". The "trophy" symbolizes ultimate success, victory, or recognition in a competitive field.
  • This line is a rhetorical question. There is no actual "trophy". Taylor Swift is the trophy.
  • Any dudes dating her should recognise that. That she's the trophy.

Addressing the (American) football references in this song:

As mentioned before, the football references in this song are simply metaphors to help illustrate the themes of competition, triumph, and teamwork.

• "So when I touch down"
  
  • While "Touchdown" is a direct reference to scoring in American football, it also, in a literal sense, means refers to when she has landed in her private jet. At this point, we all already know about her and her private jet "news" - I do not need to elaborate on this.
  • "Touching down" symbolizes a notable return after her hiatus and public controversies, Taylor Swift’s "touch down" represents her re-emergence into the public eye with a strong, confident, and elevated status.
  • In the context of the song, it symbolizes Taylor's return to the public eye and re-establishing her position in the music industry.
• "Call the amateurs and / Cut 'em from the team"
  
  • This phrase uses the concept of a sports team to signify separating the less dedicated or less talented (the "amateurs") from the main group. It implies that only the best and most loyal (fans) shall remain, akin to a team selection process in sports.
• "Shirts off, and your friends lift you up over their heads / Beer sticking to the floor / Cheers chanted, cause they said"
  
  • This imagery is reminiscent of celebratory scenes in sports, particularly football games where fans celebrate their team's victories with loud cheers, lifting people in celebration, and the chaotic but joyful atmosphere, very much like the Eras tour.
• "There was no chance, trying to be / The greatest in the league / Where's the trophy?"
  
  • Directly references sports league competition and winning a trophy, which signifies achieving the highest honor or success. And who is she? The Billboard Woman of the Decade. The first person in history to win the AOTY 4 times. One with one of the highest grossing tour of all time. Yes by all accounts she's the music industry.

TLDR: If you switched the "you" in this song to reference "the fans", this song will make complete sense. Now, try giving this song a listen, and think of "you" as "yourself" (the fans).
Taylor Swift's song "The Alchemy," is basically a powerful ode to her fans, chronicling her journey through public scrutiny and her triumphant return to the music industry. It draws parallels to her tumultuous period following the "snake gate" incident with Kim Kardashian and her subsequent hiatus before the release of "Reputation," the lyrics reflect a narrative of resilience, redemption, and the unwavering bond between Swift and her fans.
Once you are able to interpret "you" as "the fans", you'll be able to see, without having to do too much mental gymnastics, that the song is about the transformative and enduring connection Swift shares with her loyal supporters.
If you've made it this far, thank you for reading. Sorry for any typos or grammatical errors - but I hope I helped you made sense of the song!

Peace of Christ my brothers and sisters in Faith. About a couple of hours ago, I received a warning from a father figure where I currently reside.
We were watching a sermon on YT and came to the point where the speaker mentioned the Spirit of Prophecy (Ellen Whites writings). My brother loves to give commentaries about how the prophecy is really important for present times. I understand that God uses whomever he wants to speak to His People. I’m currently trying to read and finish her writings, especially TDoA and TGC, but I still have a few things that I need to verify with the help of the Holy Spirit.
Few minutes before sunset he started saying that if I don’t accept Ellen white as a prophet and that her writings are divinely inspired by the Holy Spirit, I’m committing the unforgivable sin, because they’ve been talking about the subject a few times already. They say that I need to humble myself and ask God for forgiveness for doubting, and all of this was said with a high, rebuking tone of voice. I remained silent and just agreed to read more of her but then he says that I need to be One with Christ before reading. I know Jesus prays to The Father for us to be One with Him as He was One with the a Father. I humbled myself and left silently to work after sunset.
Those words, “You will lose your salvation” “Unforgivable sin” keep resounding in my head and I know for sure I won’t be at peace until God knows when.
I fear for my salvation and the unforgivable sin among with Jesus’s words, “I don’t know you”. Are my #1 worst fears to hear and I fear myself also for not making the right decision. I fear the day that my heart (conscience) grows cold enough to the point where I don’t get a sensation of fear in my soul whenever it is mentioned that I will lose my salvation.
I left to work wondering and wondering and I noticed that I worked in a monotone with all my customers. Just being emotionless for the whole shift.
I thank and praise God for saving me from the pits of eternal death when I lived in the “world”. Just enjoying the worldly nightlife, smoking marijuana, lusting over women and watch in adult content (this right here was my weakness), not being thankful to my parents nor with what I had and always coveting for more things. I look back at that life, makes me sick thinking how I could be given a chance of redemption, but here I am.
Praise my Lord and Saviour Jesus The Christ for saving working through me with the power of the Holy Spirit for I yearn for His Return.
I was once baptized at an evangelical church in Mexico. Years later, I moved with the elederly couple of the SDA faith and shared with them my faith as a Christian in the evangelical denomination (I admit though by the way I was living I was a lukewarm C). They showed me how it was wrong to worship on Sunday and gave me a history lesson of how the sabbath was changed to Sunday worship. Long story short, after living my last few months in the world, an incident made me rethink my way of life and asked them if they could pray for me and then a few months later I was rebaptized with the SDA faith knowing the truth of the Sabbath and how it is still an active commandment for God’s people.
However, I fear that the brother who baptized me (the same one I’m talking about) also expected me to accept EGW as a prophet at the baptism.
It’s difficult for me to understand why EGW claims that she isn’t a prophetess yet again states that her writings are divinely inspired and that rejecting her messages is rejecting God Himself, something I fear to do. Then again I read many accounts of her plagiarizing works of others authors and counting them as messages from The Most High. How she gives accounts of Jesus’s life in the DoA book when I honestly don’t know if she was revealed Jesus’s life in a spam of God knows how during her vision episodes. I really don’t want to fall into lies. 99% truth with 1% lie is still a whole lie.
I know for sure that I have a limited understating of how God works in human kind and I won’t argue who He uses. I am nothing but a sinner that was made from dirt with a purpose. For God nothing is impossible (except tolerate sin, that is impossible). Our battle is with the unseen and, especially, with ourselves.
I’m very sorry if I made this long and a little bit unclear. I am blessed to take everything to God in prayer with a humble and thankful heart, but after hearing what my brother said to me in a serious tone, I wonder that if all this time ever time I kneel and prayed to my Heavenly Father my prayers were an abomination/insult to him for not fully accepting EGW as prophetess and put her writings at the same level as the Bible.
Please pray for me, pray for my brother in faith. Pray for those who are being persecuted in the world due to His Name.
Please…

Peace of Christ my brothers and sisters in Faith. About a couple of hours ago, I received a warning from a father figure where I currently reside.
We were watching a sermon on YT and came to the point where the speaker mentioned the Spirit of Prophecy (Ellen Whites writings). My brother loves to give commentaries about how the prophecy is really important for present times. I understand that God uses whomever he wants to speak to His People. I’m currently trying to read and finish her writings, especially TDoA and TGC, but I still have a few things that I need to verify with the help of the Holy Spirit.
Few minutes before sunset he started saying that if I don’t accept Ellen white as a prophet and that her writings are divinely inspired by the Holy Spirit, I’m committing the unforgivable sin, because they’ve been talking about the subject a few times already. They say that I need to humble myself and ask God for forgiveness for doubting, and all of this was said with a high, rebuking tone of voice. I remained silent and just agreed to read more of her but then he says that I need to be One with Christ before reading. I know Jesus prays to The Father for us to be One with Him as He was One with the a Father. I humbled myself and left silently to work after sunset.
Those words, “You will lose your salvation” “Unforgivable sin” keep resounding in my head and I know for sure I won’t be at peace until God knows when.
I fear for my salvation and the unforgivable sin among with Jesus’s words, “I don’t know you”. Are my #1 worst fears to hear and I fear myself also for not making the right decision. I fear the day that my heart (conscience) grows cold enough to the point where I don’t get a sensation of fear in my soul whenever it is mentioned that I will lose my salvation.
I left to work wondering and wondering and I noticed that I worked in a monotone with all my customers. Just being emotionless for the whole shift.
I thank and praise God for saving me from the pits of eternal death when I lived in the “world”. Just enjoying the worldly nightlife, smoking marijuana, lusting over women and watch in adult content (this right here was my weakness), not being thankful to my parents nor with what I had and always coveting for more things. I look back at that life, makes me sick thinking how I could be given a chance of redemption, but here I am.
Praise my Lord and Saviour Jesus The Christ for saving working through me with the power of the Holy Spirit for I yearn for His Return.
I was once baptized at an evangelical church in Mexico. Years later, I moved with the elederly couple of the SDA faith and shared with them my faith as a Christian in the evangelical denomination (I admit though by the way I was living I was a lukewarm C). They showed me how it was wrong to worship on Sunday and gave me a history lesson of how the sabbath was changed to Sunday worship. Long story short, after living my last few months in the world, an incident made me rethink my way of life and asked them if they could pray for me and then a few months later I was rebaptized with the SDA faith knowing the truth of the Sabbath and how it is still an active commandment for God’s people.
However, I fear that the brother who baptized me (the same one I’m talking about) also expected me to accept EGW as a prophet at the baptism.
It’s difficult for me to understand why EGW claims that she isn’t a prophetess yet again states that her writings are divinely inspired and that rejecting her messages is rejecting God Himself, something I fear to do. Then again I read many accounts of her plagiarizing works of others authors and counting them as messages from The Most High. How she gives accounts of Jesus’s life in the DoA book when I honestly don’t know if she was revealed Jesus’s life in a spam of God knows how during her vision episodes. I really don’t want to fall into lies. 99% truth with 1% lie is still a whole lie.
I know for sure that I have a limited understating of how God works in human kind and I won’t argue who He uses. I am nothing but a sinner that was made from dirt with a purpose. For God nothing is impossible (except tolerate sin, that is impossible). Our battle is with the unseen and, especially, with ourselves.
I’m very sorry if I made this long and a little bit unclear. I am blessed to take everything to God in prayer with a humble and thankful heart, but after hearing what my brother said to me in a serious tone, I wonder that if all this time ever time I kneel and prayed to my Heavenly Father my prayers were an abomination/insult to him for not fully accepting EGW as prophetess and put her writings at the same level as the Bible.
Please pray for me, pray for my brother in faith. Pray for those who are being persecuted in the world due to His Name.
Please…

My girlfriend and I moved into our first apartment a bit over a month ago. This isn't just our first apartment together, it's the first apartment for both of us in general. Over this last month we have both found Silverfish here and there. Due to some delays we only got our closet a few days ago so we had to keep most of our clothes in boxes on the floor. Today my girlfriend found a Silverfish in one of the boxes we kept our clothes in. Now we're worried we have Silverfish in our closet. We don't really know what to do about them. Neither of us had to deal with Silverfish before. We have never seen our Landlord, we have been told that she is very old so her son does all the work for her. But we have only communicated with him through Mails. We can't ask our neighbour either since she is kind of homophobic, I guess. So she doesn't like talking to us.
I am not a native speaker so I'm sorry if I've made any mistakes. And thank you in advance for any kind of help. I'll try my best to answer any clarification questions.

I have had my kitten for almost a year now and he turned 1 in March. I adopted him when he was 4 months old and I got my resident kitty when he was about 6 weeks old. I was in college when I got my first cat and he was absolutely insane (as all kittens are). He stressed me tf out and I definitely played with him with my fingernails (which I later read is not smart to do) as he now bites me and anyone who comes over to get attention. I have moved many times with my cat and he has lived with other cats that do not particularly like him and has played with small dogs his size. He is half maine coon and is about 15 lbs. Most female cats have not gotten along with him in the past even though he just likes to follow them around and watch them or even boop their nose with his paw out of curiosity and maybe social awkwardness as he was raised in my 1 br apartments.
I recently graduated and had a full time job. I did not feel like I had enough time for him as he is very affectionate and playful. He has always gotten along with other animals and showed a lot of interest in other furry friends. Last summer I had recently moved into my own place after living with my roommate and her 2 female cats and had decided I wanted to get him a friend. I went to the nearest animal shelter just to play with the cats. As soon as I got there the people at the shelter told me about a kitten they wanted me to meet. I told them I didn’t think it would be a good idea and that I didn’t think I had the time for another crazy kitten. Long story short, I fell in love with little him and couldn’t stop looking at the pictures I took of him and picked him up the next day.
When i adopted him they assured me that since my resident cat was so relaxed and the kitten was well socialized I would be fine to introduce them a few hours after I got him settled at my apartment and they’d play all day long and blah blah blah. I got him home, played with him, let him smell my cat under the door and eventually let them into the same room. Immediately my kitten was showing signs of aggression which my resident cat was not even responding to. Most of the time when my kitten is being aggressive (puffy tail, walking sideways, ears back, tail flapping) my resident cat is laying down a few feet away. Also, he was so tiny compared to my cat but eventually they slept together in my bed and on the floor.
My kitten plays rough and I thought since my cat likes to bite me and attack my arms (sometimes he is insanely aggressive and very strong) he would be a perfect wrestle buddy. There have been multiple times where I have had to separate them from rolling around on the ground or one pinning the other to the point where they are screaming. It’s like watching WWE they throw each other and chase each other but it always seems to end with aggression from one of them. My kitten will stalk my cat and chase him up the cat trees, wait for him to get out of the litter box and chase him under the bed, or anytime my cat gets near the couch my kitten will shake his booty and run after my cat until he’s in another room. My cat is very chill and he has distanced himself from me. It was unfair of me to improperly introduce them and allow my kitten to bully my resident cat. I do not want my resident cat to hate me and I want him to be able to cuddle with me without fear of being body slammed. My kitten is very affectionate and sweet and I want to make sure I try everything to make this situation work. After initially separating them, my cat started doing some of the things he used to do again but after letting them spend longer periods of time together, my kitten is doing the same things.
My bf and I have been separating them for a few weeks. We live in an 800 sft apartment and are moving to a space that is twice the size in less than a month. I messed up with the initial introduction and have separated them recently as the issues have gotten worse. I have been feeding them separately and worked them up to feeding with the door open just on different sides where they don’t see one another and only letting them spend time together supervised. We have kept my kitten in the bedroom and bathroom, moving him to the bathroom at night and allowing my cat to be in the bedroom and living room at night. I am unemployed and spending all day at home. Both kittens cry when I leave one room and my kitten has even learned how to jump against the door to open it. I resorted to letting them hang out in the living room, separating their food and water, and separating my kitten when he is aggressive towards my cat. I just read about not free feeding so I will pickup their hard food bowls tomorrow. We also have a spray bottle and have been watching them play and spraying the kitten when he bites or jumps on top of my cat to the point he is trying to flee. We are trying to teach boundaries but my cat will let him bite and swat at him until he screams in pain and just runs away. My cat is a lover not a fighter and my kitten is both.
Lastly, we have urgently been trying to work on these behaviors because we are planning on introducing my bfs dog to our cats when we move. I am confident that my resident cat will get along with her but I am fearful my kitten will not adjust. We are planning on keeping the kitten in a room to himself and my cat in another room. We are getting a baby gate to first introduce her to my cat and eventually face to face meeting. We are planning on starting the reintroduction process over again in the new place for a longer period of time. We are hoping that reintroducing the cats and then my kitten seeing my cat and dog interacting calmly and relax with the aggressive behaviors. I have tried to spend time with them playing separately in their spaces and then playing with them together and half the time leads to the rough playing that stresses my cat out. His dog is laid back but he is unsure how she would react to the kitten biting, scratching, or being rough. I want to give my kitten the best life possible. He is so adorable and has so much energy and love to give. He is smart and understands he is being bad when he’s biting his brother!
If you got this far thank you so much and if you have any advice I would greatly appreciate it!!!

Hi, I have been reading through my notes, correspondence with my psych and reacquainted myself with this subreddit having made a little bit of progress. I realise how deeply personal and different our work with schema therapy can be. It is a fraught process that is really hard work at times. Having made unexpected progress though, I thought maybe it would be helpful to describe parts of my context, not so much that people find it familiar or relatable, but moreso that people grab the toolset that schema therapy gives you and run with it in your own way.
Background: It's probably been just over fourth months of fairly intensive schema therapy. I am in the fortunate situation of having regular appointments with a clinical psychologist. I would say I had two points where I generated schemas. First one was the same as everyone else: Early childhood. Second one was 17-21 when I became effectively bedridden due to chronic illness.
When I have talked about this second period, I describe it as "Having to rebuild who I was from scratch, entirely based around energy efficiency". I remember staring into the pitch blackness of my bedroom during this time, absolutely flawed that the one part of me that seemed to function right was what Schema Therapy might describe as "Demanding Critic". This would have been 18-19 years ago so I had no idea about schema therapy at all, I just had this constant internal dialogue tearing strips off me for not trying harder, not getting up, not fixing myself. I was completely exhausted otherwise, but this damn thing was as active as ever? What the hell, why was it the last thing standing? It was so different from the rest of me. "If you know how to fix everything, be my guest, I'm in your hands, here's the keys!" I remember thinking. Alarmingly, the internal dialog responded: "Fine, I will". "Good fucking luck" I thought, and passed out for several hours. I didn't realise it, but I had just given Demanding Critic a parental role.
Demanding Critic used a process of elimination to tear apart, kludge, re-engineer and jerry-rig me from someone who slept for 16-18 hours a day out of necessity into someone with a degree, a house, a family, a part-time job. It took a while. It wasn't easy. It's amazing what can happen when you give seething self-hatred the keys to your entire self. Punitive critic used to be a thing, but had it's parts ripped out and reconfigured for completely different purposes. Entire ways to simulate being a conscious, involved person in social situations were constructed. I trained myself to do very complex tasks by muscle memory so I could do them while completely exhausted. The complex effects of depressive episodes could be filtered and rewired to emulate happiness. Fatalistic pessimism was employed towards emulating initiative and drive. Their logics and mechanisms were set to fire off automatically according to the myriad of different contexts I found myself in, so I didn't have to consciously engage in the moment, I could just react according to programming. The "machines" as I called them were fine tuned over years. But it seems that entire parts of myself were deactivated having been deemed too difficult to regulate, or too energy intensive. Demanding Critic was as brutal at he was creative. Entire emotional spectrums were pulverised, or at best used as catalysts for the activation of certain mechanics. They weren't properly experienced, because that used up too much energy, and I couldn't trust myself to make it through the day. Same with speculative, ill-defined senses like 'Hope'. It wasn't worth the effects of disappointment. No one could know how much pain I was in, or how much I was really suffering, or how exhausted I really was. Press on you stupid meat-bag. In your state what good is hope or despair? You'd be a poor judge of either. Press on! Hurry up and succeed. It doesn't matter what has happened to you, what people say or do to you, you can barely feel it above the pain anyway. MOVE. MOVE. MOVE.
This process was refined until a semblance of normativity took place externally, and internally I had acclimated to the new approaches that were by now a pretty seamless, responsive system. Something still wasn't right though, and with investigation came the ASD/ADHD diagnosis, then the CPTSD diagnosis. Once again unto the breech, I pushed myself to understand and recover as best I could. Except doing so meant realising what was happening around me, what interpersonal boundaries were, how I was being treated by my loved ones, everything that had really happened to me for thirty-odd years.
Kaboom.
In the aftermath I'm in a difficult, but stable situation, and undergoing schema therapy. Learning about the modes my therapist asked me to talk about the ones I identified. Demanding Critic spoke directly through the keyboard as an intense character: The Machinist. It became obvious that the system of schema therapy lent itself to treating modes as characters within a narrative, and I have just ran with it. The Machinist, interestingly enough, set down his tools and deactivated many of his machines, because if my Therapist and I found a "Better Solution", he wanted in on it, being fundamentally benevolent, and concerned with a Successful Result. Without Schema Therapy lending itself to narrative and mythos, I doubt I could have so easily deactivated the system of "machinery" required to prop me up. It's led to all kinds of shocking discoveries: The missing (No longer presumed dead) Happy Child that has been carefully hidden away amongst the deactivated components of myself. The fact that I lived entirely in the Past or the Future. The present was deemed "Too energy consumptive". I didn't know whether I had a "Healthy Adult Mode", but weirdly The Machinist could fill that roll sometimes but obviously had his limitations. Then out of the void, deactivated parts of me started to come back online. Something started to assert itself in the Present. It was very interested in emotions. Instead of casting them aside and pushing past them to get on with what i was supposed to be doing, it insisted I experience them, decode them and experiment with them. New experiments in the real-time interaction with people were enacted, with the emotional fallout, good and bad, further experimented with. This present-based-thing has been curiously self-compassionate, and has guided me through the difficulties and risks of fully engaging in real time with my emotional spectrum when relating with others, my work, and my life. All for the sake of her experiments. She is The Scientist. She is getting all kinds of results and recording all kinds of functions I had no idea I was capable of. The Machinist is head over heels in love with her, having watched her working over the least two weeks. She's kinda started flirting with him, allowing a desire for perfection to be felt over some work I was doing. "Show me what you can do". I consciously disparaged the desire for perfection, looked down and my consciousness was shocked to discover The Machinist had taken over my motor skills and indeed had made something perfectly, and was having fun. It seems I have two self re-parents.
Now, it's bonkers to read, I'm sure. I apologise. But it's working. It really is fucking working. Take what you can from schema therapy and run with it. Make it yours, whatever that means for you. It's gonna be weird. It's gonna be wild. I reckon the easiest way to engage with it has to be it's propensity for character and narrative, but maybe the path of least resistance for you is some other aspect of it I can't detect.

I have her phone number and socials blocked so she keeps reaching out to my husband. He supports me going nc and has not responded to anything, he said he’s probably going to block her since she won’t stop. He’s deployed right now and it’s just adding more stress to our lives dealing with her bs. My worry now is who is she going to start bothering about me next? My friends, my husband’s family, my husband’s friends? Is she going to just show up at my house and try to walk in like she has done in the past when I went no contact? My in laws are the most amazing people but they don’t get it. They are very traditional family oriented people. How do I go about telling them they need to respect this boundary I have? I wouldn’t feel right telling them not to speak to her and block her. They don’t know how she is. Most people don’t because I haven’t went around trash talking her my whole life like she’s done to me. I’ve been a “good girl” and kept her image up like I was trained to do. Still as people ask “how’s your mom doing?” I just tell them “she’s doing fine we haven’t talked much lately” with a smile on my face because where do I even start? How do I do this? My husband apologized for even telling me she contacted him again because he knows every time he does it re triggers me. I start doubting myself, feeling guilty, and with that I need to remind myself all the screwed up things she’s done. So I relive so much trauma to show myself why I’m making the right choice.
If you made it through all that, thank you for “listening” lol just late night thoughts and worries I needed to get out.

Hi all, I’ve been playing for two days and I absolutely love this game. I do have some questions if anyone is willing to help me out. In this post, I will use the word “equipments” to refer to strategems, guns, and grenades all together.

1. Why is it that some equipments feel really bad and the other equipments feel really good. There is almost no in between. Am I playing it wrong or is there a design and balancing issue?
   
2. For equipments that only has a “low armor” penetration level, it feels really useless because most bigger enemies have good armor. How to use these equipments properly?
   
3. Are there general rules to determine where are the weak points of the bigger enemies? For bugs I’m just shooting at their tails and for bots I’m just shooting their legs. Is there a better way?
   
4. Sometimes when I start a mission solo, I don’t see the SOS strategem available when I’m on the ground, even tho it is shown as a mission strategem when I was on the ship. Why is this?
   
5. For interests points on the map that gives rewards to collect, how do people know where they are, since they don’t show up on the map. Do you just have to walk around and find them?
   

Thank you for your time!

hello, ive been lurking in this subreddit for around 2 years but never had the courage to post. now, my question is a bit complicated so i feel the need to add some backstory; I was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia at 13 years old and autism at 12 years old, i went through a 2 year period of constant hallucinations + I began being mute, unfortunately it resulted in a long period of absence from education and school which i despise myself for doing.. i went through a 2 and a half year pretty heavy substance usage, thankfully i am grateful to be soon 8 months sober from everything. in the process of being sober and kicking every medication, even the multiple prescription of antipsychotics/antidepressant and anxiety meds i have been taking regularly since i was around 13/14, i went off every medication thats used for mental health conditions (which was the worst withdrawals i have experienced) AND I DO NOT ENCOURAGE ANYONE TO DO THIS IF YOURE NOT READY, CONSULT WITH YOUR DOCTOR. anyway my point is that i have not gotten any psychotic symptoms for 8 months. my doctor mentioned to me, when i was 14, that after a 6 month long period of being stable and having no active psychosis the diagnosis could be taken off my medical records in the future. i have no idea if this is true, but it would be nice since as many people, with a formal medical diagnosis of schizophrenia, know that when going to a doctor it can be difficult to be taken seriously even if its not a mental problem that you want help for. since im stable, im going to school everyday + work, i take care of my own apartment, could it be possible for my schizophrenia diagnosis to be removed? i appreciate any feedback take care and stay safe everyone 🫂

Yeah im a cosigner with my current home because my credit score was high & made my family and I approved to get our names under the house.
HOWEVER. I have a bad relationship with my parents, I didnt do it for them I actually did it for me to continue living in this home (long story short: living 13+ years in this house with uncles name under the house, he tried to sell it behind our backs knowing we wanted to keep the house, thats where i came in).
I believe I started becoming a cosigner since 2021 or 2022 ? Anyways, my credit score has gone to shit with the house. Rent isnt paid on time. My credit score is a 540 & lately ive gotten tired of my parents bs that im planning to move out with my partner.
Though heres the thing: My partner doesnt have credit, only me. We are both 21 & i started doing credit since i got a job (@ 18 ). I want to first get out of being cosigner & get a house using my credit, & hopefully, buy a house. I just want to know with my credit, if im able to purchase a house. Ive been looking into mobile manufactured homes (if it helps). I want to movr out asap & i avoid buying apartments because I want to take my furbabies with us :/.
Thank you in advance

Im not sure how much longer of this i can take.
I dont know what if im looking for.. maybe jus a place to vent but just about anyone reading this and giving me their thoughts i would much appreciate.
TW/ abuse, nudity, kind of gross stuff or weird situations (?) idk how to call it, not eating
I need to get it all out there so here’s whatever
I (17f) am from a high-middle class family. I’m not rich, but I’m well off and comfortable.
The system in my house is gonna be complicated to understand so please bear with me. I’ll maybe edit this again to add or clarify more idk
My mom is abusive. Despite us being well off she insists with us (me and my brothers 11yr old and 4yr old) peeing in tupperwears at certain times of the day because the bathroom has already been cleaned. You must be thinking, what about the other bathrooms? We have about 6 in the house and not a single one can we use except for the one my mom says we can. That is whenever we’re upstairs at least.. i’ll explain more later. Its humiliating. I turn 18 in a few weeks and she makes me, despite being on my period, pee in the tupperwear.
She monitors what we do in the bathroom too in the morning, and rarely are we allowed to poop. If we do she gets really angry and makes us clean a whole lot of the bathroom in parts we didnt even touch. She bathes my two brothers, but since we are only allowed to use one bathroom, she usually watches me take a bath as well. Even insulting me as I shower, if I “miss a spot” or if there’s too much hair on my legs now, etc. If we just came from outside the house, we’d have to shower twice. First downstairs (more explained later) then go up naked. Yes we go up naked, stark fucking naked, just dried from the towel, we’re not allowed to wear anything, then we wait until our mother allows us into the bathroom upstairs to take a bath again. You can already imagine how humiliating it feels as a girl, who at certain times as their period and has to do this nonetheless.
Another is we cant eat until she says so. Fuck im not even allowed to enter the kitchen at all. We (including my little brothers) only are allowed to eat when she’s not “tired” anymore. So we mostly dont eat until 3pm in the afternoon. But there are a good lot of times where it was until 7pm. Yes. 7pm. If we complained about being hungry we would be told to shut up andjust sleep or drink our waters which we have. As I write this, it’s 4pm and still no food. It’s not even that we dont have any food. We absolutely do. The pantry is packed enough to feed families. My mom doesnt care. We only eat when we’re allowed to. And yes we have maids. Why she doesnt make use of them as much.. I dont know.
I said upstairs because like i said theres a weird sort of system in my house. Upstairs is clean. Upstairs is where my mom sleeps and my youngest brother usually. But sometimes me and my brother sleep downstairs with my dad, whos our main provider while my mom jjst stays at home. The downstairs isnt horrible. Its cleaned regularly by our maids. Its essentially my dad’s room/study and theres a bed he sleeps in there etc. Whenever i sleep there i get a mattress and just sleep on the ground. Its good enough for me. Since my mom doesnt care about downstairs, we usually get to do anything. Pee whenever, take baths without it being weird, eat in the mornings or whenever we’re hungry, do whatever we want.. maybe not whatever but just the freedom allowed that isnt with my mother. Sometimes we’re allowed to sleep downstairs for weeks, but just two days ago my mom made me and my brother go back up. It’s much harder for all of us when we’re up so i never understand why we even go up still. But yeah.
Sorry this all must be so messy but thats the gist of the system in my house. And yes i know any of those things we are made to do has NOTHING to do with a financial struggle. We go to europe yearly, and my mom has rows of designer bags lined up. Again i dontmean to say this with any boastful intents, i just wanna explain. My mom and dad have had numerous fights too about why she does this to us when we have a big house and maids. I guess my mom just likes the control of it. Idk. English isnt my first language too so sorry if its kinda confusing.
My mom also regularly beats me up. I’m a good student and a good sister. I got into one of the most prestigous universities in our country, straight-As student, and even make my own money sometimes. She just hates me. She had me when she was 19 so i get it i guess. I ruined her life. She once beat me so badly i couldnt go to school for two days.
Anyway i made this post so i could for once tell someone or something or whatever. No one, not even my girlfriend or my best friends totally know of my situation at home besides the regular physical abuse.
My dad promised me he’ll get me an apartment to move out to for college which is in 2-3 months. But i dont know how much longer i can take. Im so tired.
If you read all this, thank you so much. It means a lot. Really.

My first reaction after finishing the game - DAMN WAS THIS GAME FUCKING GOOD
Now comes the essay :
First of all , I have just finished the main storyline and have not completed the dlcs (About to start on that right after the post ) and this is my first game in the series and the witcher universe as a whole .
I have never made a reddit post about my thoughts on a game I played , let alone this long .
The story : The story was one of , if not the best of any game that I have played and I loved the little jokes here and there as well as the overall seriousness and grit of the game . I made choices which led to geralt being with yennefer and radovid dead and cerys becoming the new queen and ciri being a witcher . I personally loved this path and will probably be my "offical playthrough" if that's a thing . One thing i hated tho was the baron's death but I also wanted to save the children so I guess there's that but I will definetly try alternative methods but I guess if the only way for the children to be alive is the baron dying than so be it . Crach's death also felt a bit unecessary but I guess it was there to incite the " I want to kill that son of a bitch Eredin" feelling .
Now for the ending , for a moment my post about the story being good was going to become a rant because I actually thought that ciri died trying to stop the white frost . But all went good .
The gameplay : I (a person who never played rpgs and rather preferred not to) found this game to be a good balance between rpg elements and story . Which I guess what kept me going . The gameplay was good but could have improvements in the next title , especially the horse autopath system and the waypoint system . Something else which also annoyed me was the walking/running speed especially in places where you have to follow someone or stay withing a certain radius .
Characters : Loved almost all characters and their overall development especially for geralt , again I never played any other games so I might be wrong but I felt that Geralt was all too serious at the start of the game but at the end he started showing more emotions . I guess this depends on player choices but it is what happened in my playthrough .
Now for another part which might incite a war but here it goes .
Triss or Yennefer : In my playthrough I chose Yennefer and I think that is kinda what geralt would have gone for as well as Geralt and Yen being Ciri's "parents" . Yennefer seems to be a bit mature than Triss and for Yennefer it actually felt like Geralt was truly in love with while Triss felt more like a "Friend with benefits" . From the googling I have done I also found out that Triss is much younger than Geralt (50 years ?) which made it feel even more weird . Also as Philipa described it Triss was like an older sister to Ciri looking to jump in bed with Geralt as soon as she gets an opportunity . Now I will have a replay of the game with Triss being Geralt's romantic partner so my judgement might change but it probably won't.
Summary : The game is good and gives what a person might expect , it could definetely improve with some of it's mechancins and I don't think it is overrated . It has sold about 50 million units which is what you expect from a good rpg game . I am eager to play the next entries and might even play witcher 1 and 2 .
Thanks for taking your time to read my post and I hope your day goes well !

If you happen to see this, I hope you know it’s a letter to you. About how I’ve been going through mental gymnastics for the last 3 months wondering if you love me at all and if I should fight for the love I know I feel for you. Even with you constantly pushing me away, I stayed. I stayed and smiled and was there for you even though it was killing me inside and I was constantly feeling broken and being out back together. There were so many mixed signals. Some days where it seemed like you wanted me there and wanted to be with me and others where it felt like you couldn’t wait for me to just leave.
We talked about how you felt and I was honest and told you how much I loved you but if you wanted to leave, I wouldn’t stop you. All I asked is that you were honest and didn’t stay because of me, that I couldn’t be in a relationship with you if you didn’t feel the same. You assured me that this is what you wanted so we stayed together. The whole month after that you were still so distant but I just put on a smile and made sure you were okay. You were going through a hard time so I knew I’d have to be patient and things wouldn’t go back to normal right away. So I waited and waited for you.
Then a month later, another incident. You told me you were sorry and that you wanted to be with me and assured me it was nothing. We got to have a nice deep conversation after that. It made me feel optimistic because you had never opened up to me before. You always keep me at arms length. You explained how you were really feeling and I was able to understand where you were coming from. Again I stayed because you told me this is what you wanted. This time all I asked was that you not lie to me and just show me you love me. You claimed that you did but never showed it. I told you what I felt I was missing so there wouldn’t be miscommunication or trying to figure anything out. Again I never expected anything to change right away so I waited and gave it time. Which brings us to today. Still nothing.
Not a single attempt has been made to meet my needs while every day I tried to meet the needs you had expressed months ago. Every day I would tell myself I’m doing something wrong and I’m not trying hard enough but I realize it’s not me who’s not trying, it’s you. I’ve been beating myself up for months trying to make this work and keep you happy while I’ve been crumbling on the inside with a smile on my face.
The sad part is, I’ve had this conversation in my head multiple times. And every time I think about voicing my thoughts, I get scared and back down. You’re my only friend, my best friend. You know things about me that no one else will probably ever know. To throw that all away is the scariest thing I’ve ever had to face. You don’t feel the same and have other people you can go to, I have no one. I can’t even hate you or be completely angry with you. I can’t blame you for how you feel. I just feel like an idiot that’s been led on thinking everything’s fine for years before this. Oblivious to probably obvious signs that this was all falling apart. I probably won’t be able to forgive you right away, but I hope you find what you’re looking for. And after some time you decide you want to give this another shot, reach out to me. I’m not gonna stand around and wait for you so don’t assume it’s a guarantee, but you are the one I want to be with, even if I’m the one that’s ending it. In the end you’re the one that didn’t want me, I’m just protecting what’s left of my sanity before you break me completely.

So I got my first tier 9 tank, and I wanted to start farming bonds. Bond tip says the tank has bond mark when farmable, but when I check bond icon on garage, it doesn't show.
Tried searching up in google and Reddit but with no luck. Thank you for reading.

Hello all, I have posted here before about advice for my thyroid issues, I changed my diet and everything!
I saw a doctor recently who told me that since I'm medicated I shouldn't have any symptoms and everything I'm experiencing is all in my head/faking it
She refused to test my free t3/t4
I also had gotten a blood test which showed my ggt levels are super high along with crp
I cant stop sleeping and can barely stay awake for more than 2 hours and I feel very sick all the time. I'm used to being treated badly/not being believed by doctors in the country I live in.
I'm going to try find another doctor but I was wondering if anyone knows if this is all due to hypothyroidism.
Thank you!
Edit: spelling

I’m not gonna act like a saint and say don’t cheat. Everyone cheats in CS. You’re lying if you want me to believe you get 100% on all HWs without help or looking at solutions.
But what fascinates me, is the fact y’all are dumb enough to get caught. You do realize that every Professor lies when they say have special software that detects cheating? It’s just a MOSS check. There are dozens of articles that show you how to evade moss.
You’re a genuine dumbass if you just change the order of the code and the variable names.
You’re even more of a dumbass if you copy you’re written solutions word for word and don’t even bother changing variable letters. You do realize you can find the answers online right? Copying your friends and getting caught is even more sad than just cheating alone.
I think cheating in college is just sad and somewhat pathetic. Not trying to act superior but if you have to cheat in your classes, why are you in them? Like what’s the point of being here and getting a degree if you’re not learning. It’s gonna screw you over in the future. The only instance I get is if you’re taking a BS gen ed class but that’s not the majority of cases. I also get it if you had a busy week and didn’t get to it the night before. But if you’re so behind to the point where you don’t even understand the problems … just why?
But what’s even more stupid is the fact yo dumbass got caught. It ain’t that hard.