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Hi everyone, we have a new game jam starting next weekend (from May 24), exclusively for games made with DragonRuby and organised by members of the DragonRuby community.
It’s a perfect jam for Rubyists of any level, with or without previous experience making games. The jam is long, ultra-relaxed and as close to stress-free as we can make it.
KIFASS Jam is named after a saying on the DragonRuby Discord server: Keep it fun and stupid, stupid. It’s a reminder to put the serious stuff aside for a while, loosen up a little, make something stupid and have fun.
To celebrate the jam and allow everyone to join in, DragonRuby is free for a limited time. If you don’t already have it, now’s the time to go get it and start making games!
https://itch.io/jam/kifass-2

Feel free to ask me any questions and I’ll do my best to keep this concise but I can be known to ramble and want to make sure I cover some things I haven’t seen talked about before.
Scheduling: Got new insurance in January. Discovered the insurance covers female sterilization at 100% so I went on the doctor list here, did some research, and picked out my doctor. Called mid January to book, had my consult end of February, surgery was May 15th (last Wednesday).
Consult: I was worried because I’ve heard so much about people getting rejected but the entire time my doctor assured me this was my decision to make and she just wanted to make sure I’d thought about every consequence. I was honest with her that while I was positive this is what I wanted I originally had planned to wait until I was in my 30s to make sure but due to the current political climate I felt I didn’t have the luxury of waiting. I was concerned if I didn’t get this done pre election I’d never be able to or I’d have to travel to get it done. She approved me and we had planned to do a Pap smear while I was there but their computer system crashed so we decided to combine it with the surgery and just do it while I was under.
Pre procedure: Pre-op stuff was super normal. Got a call with instructions around a week out. I can go into more details if anyone has questions but the big thing for me was I was told to not smoke 24 hrs prior and I’ve been trying to quit vaping so I decided to throw out my vape 24 hrs prior to the procedure. The lead up to the surgery was terrible and I regret quitting so close to it because it meant I could drink alcohol or caffeine to try and distract myself since those were also banned so close. But post surgery with me being high on oxy the first few days I completely made it through the worst part of quitting without any problems. I’m only a week clean but highly recommend using surgery to quit addictions it’s a great time to utilize your body being distracted by other stuff.
Surgery: everyone at the hospital was great and nobody tried to change my mind. My surgeon did say I could change my mind up until I was put under and that nobody would be mad. I assured her I was totally hyped and ready to go and that was that. I’ve never had a surgery before so I wasn’t sure how I’d react to anesthesia but I woke up before theyd even finished rolling me into post op. I heard the nurse rolling me in talking about her dog and just was instantly awake and asking her about her pupper. I think I scared her slightly because I was just immediately coherent and mostly just really annoyed because my throat hurt and my mouth was dry. She gave me water and asked if I wanted something for nausea. I didn’t feel any nausea but said yes just in case and I’m glad I did because shortly after she gave it to me I got super nauseous. It kicked in pretty quick and I didn’t throw up so a win. When I first woke up my pain was around a 3 but was quickly ramping up so they gave me a 5mg oxycodone. It took a bit for it to kick in but once it did it completely wiped out my pain. I was able to get discharged within an hour of waking up because I immediately was eating and drinking and was able to get up and walk on my own and go pee which checked all their boxes.
Recovery: I was given 8 oxycodone 5mg and then told to pick up Tylenol, ibuprofen, and stool softener. Alternate the Tylenol and ibuprofen so I’m taking something every 3 hrs and then oxy as needed. I mostly used the oxy to sleep as every muscle in my body felt like I’d run a marathon starting day 2. My back was extremely sore and my skin was tender EVERYWHERE. Also thanks to doing the Pap smear while I was under my vag was sore as fuck too. I must’ve bit my lip while I was under because my lip was all swollen and the absolute worse pain I was feeling was how sore my throat was from the breathing tube. My throat is still sore, back still hurts, muscles are still tender as fuck, but I’m fully off oxy and overall feel fine. I haven’t had a good bowel movement yet so hoping for that soon but I’ll be going back to work tomorrow and overall this surgery recovery hasn’t been any worse than being sick from the flu or something.
Also make sure you have plenty of comfy loose dresses. You will want the comfiest of lounge wear during this recovery. I have my post op this Friday but I’m so happy to finally have this done. It’s a giant weight off my shoulder.

Hey guys,
I suffer from ADHD so i have some big issues with organizing myself and my life. Its hard for me tobuild habits and I kinda just always go back to my "head calendar" which obvs. isn't the best solution since I tend to mix-up stuff and forget stuff.
Ive been struggling to find an App that suits my needs in that regard and is at least mostly free so far. The biggest thing it has to do for me is rather simple + visually appealing , otherwise ill just don't look at it / don't use it / forget about it.

I am Agent P7, only worker drone in the Phantom Section of the T.A.B.L.E., the Tactical Asymmetric Black-ops for Lethal Equilibrium. We are responsible for keeping the world in peace from bastards who do nothing but taking over the world. However, if someone asks me if I like my job, I will answer a “no”, as being a top secret agent can sometimes feel repetitive, or even annoying in some extent.
Here is my planned daily schedule(note the keyword “planned”): 0600-2100 standby hours, 2100-2200 drive back to my apartment, 2200-2400 free time bf bed
But for us secret agents, “planned” stuff tends to go wrong, and the schedule will become: 0600-2100 figuring how to steal classified documents from an active military base with thousands of personnel, 2100-2200 being chased back home by a convoy of MRAPs, tanks and helicopters, 2200-2400 managed to loose the convoy and return home, but being ambushed by 100 insurgents during a walk at the park so pre-bed activity is horde fighting lol
Not even holidays give me enough rest, such as when I took a 3 month injury leave some time before, I was able to have a nice cup of black martini, martini made of oil, on the balcony, and enjoy the soothing breeze I’ve missed so much. Just after I got into the mood, a bullet flew past by and shattered my glass of martini. At the same time, my sensor picked up 10 armed guys, either mounted on the windows of the adjacent building, or on the streets taking cover from cars.
“How did the N.A.H.A.S. find out my location?” I thought, when the sensor showed further details of those men. N.A.H.A.S., the Nomadic Aegis Holdings of the Australian Soil, is a private military company located in Australia. Well, no. This is just a front. N.A.H.A.S. is an international crime syndicate. Their main income comes from various illegal activities, one of them is provoking regional conflicts and then performing arms trafficking in conflict areas for profit.
I rushed to the living room with my head down, sprays of bullets went above me, creating dense and high tone sonic booms.
In the living room, there was an empty cupboard next to the main door. I jumped inside and slam-closed the doors. Appeared to me was a secret portal to a room with a CCTV system, arsenal, and various comm systems…
(Don’t know why it’s glitch asf, perhaps too many words, so I paused here, new parts will come out ASAP)

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I'm sure most of Chicago/Booth/Kellogg have heard of this company by now, but they also do recruit for their other branches hence I wanted to make a Reddit post.
Quick Intro: McMaster-Carr is the Amazon of Industrial Supplies. They ship to the US Miltary, manufacturers, engineers, technicians, etc... Their customers are the engineers but the bills are paid by the Finance Dept hence as long as McM do a consistent good job delivering to the engineers, they can charge exorbitant amount (e.g $30 screw and $50 shipping; real example.)This is how they can pay entry managements with 0yoe $170k (bonus included, deferred saving excluded) and middle managers (3-10YOE) up to $300k.
Path: Management Trainee (0-18m depending on your background/initial performance). Supervisor (no pay raise as MT are expected to become Sup eventually; can be skipped if you have pre-MBA exp and did well in your initial performance.) ManageSeniorM (3-5yoe/5-8yoe; most people languished here until they decided to go all in or all out with McMaster.) After this come Regional ManageDirectoVP. You can leave at M/SM and might still be able to transition to a new careeindustry afterward. Otherwise, it's a tough sale. Even before the mid-2023 general market downturn, I knew Regional/Directors who took 1+ year just to switch to another industrial/industrial job. Not even an industry switch.
Their Targets: In the past, 95%+ of management came from straight out of Ivy/Top Liberal Arts undergrad. This breeds an incredibly toxic environment since many of them are not mature/don't have leadership experience (the cream of the crop don't consider McMaster) and it's a case of the blinds leading the blinds. McM had a purge of toxic leaders back in mid-2010s but this problem returned. Since then, they have tried to recruit a few more consultants rather than depending solely on fresh grads. This recruiting effort has and continued to go miserably. Despite mass reach-out effort every single year, they only got some ex-B4 (1 Parthenon but the rest is regular B4), but they couldn't get anyone from T2 or MBB.
Pro:
• Their pay. McM has a 2.9 Glassdoor rating despite having a 4.6 rating in Compensation and Benefits. Pay include:

 •Base (0yoe: ~115k; ~$10k for each add year; ~$160k for Manager) •Profit Sharing (average 50%+ of base; lowest was ~33% in 2008 & 45% in 2020; 2022 was ~50%+ and 2023 was ~60%) •Deferred Saving (25% of Base&PS. Vest schedule 0%/20%/40%/60%/80%/100% over 6 years.) 

• Their Education tuition policy: After the first 3 months, You can take any part-time program (e.g PT-MBA, PT-MS, PT-MA) or Certificate completely free, doesn’t have to be work-related, and no string attached. You can literally leave after they paid for your tuition and can still finish your course.
Cons: Glassdoor Reviews:
• There’s another purge/headcount reduction going on right now. A tidbit is that management above your level can see the performance review of everyone below them. This contributes to how much drama, backstabbing, and rumors float internally. Recently, an ex-Trainee even wrote a long post calling out his spineless manager and backstabbing coworkers in a GroupMe with 100+ members of management. The manager left soon after. The ex-MT even told McMaster to blacklist his undergrad for recruiting. Absolute legend.
• The operations and tech stack are very constrained and not replicable. The company uses 80s IBM Tech for CRM/ERP so unless you’re working on a Website-related project (which you can sometimes use Python/SQL), you will be writing outdated queries to pull data. McM also doesn’t use Powerpoint so you will have to learn Adobe Indesign. The company’s warehouses themselves have a ton of makeshifts and outdated stuff. If you get a warehouse assignment, you will be putting out fires arose from issues not addressed by the original warehouse design. If you think you will be value-add to a company like Amazon after your McMaster’s experience, you are wrong. Amazon warehouses are built in the early/mid 2010s and have about 30 years of new automation/technology integrated to them. McM is still tinkering with their first automated warehouse. Experience putting out fixed/nonexistent issues is worthless.
• This company hire fake review writers. You will notice the positive reviews are all generic and one line whereas the negative reviews (from both Managements and ICs) are all super long and super informative. You will also notice that there’s no longer a “Most Helpful” sort on Glassdoor. This is because all the negative reviews get liked so much. Now it’s just “Most Popular” which is just fake reviews with 0 like/dislike.
• Relationships between Management and Individual Contributors are more fraught than ever. The situation has always been incredibly tense because ICs were viewed with incredible disdain by Management (most of whom are rich Ivy/Top School graduates) but has only gotten worse with automation and market uncertainty.
• Management’s official policy is to never promote Individual Contributors. A fresh grad (0YOE) can instantly become a supervisor but somehow an IC needed 8+ years of consistent excellent performance to be considered. Management can become Manager in as little as 2yoe out of Undergrad, whereas IC -> Manager is so rare I can count the Chicago Branch on two hands. And no, it’s not because ICs are not qualified/hardworking. Just imagine how hard it is to work at Amazon-pace for EIGHT YEARS just to be equal to a college brown-nose.
• Management’s unofficial policy is to avoid eye contact or saying hello to ICs unless the ICs initiated it. ICs were afraid to take more than one food/souvenir item during an open house event even though we had so much leftover. A manager even complained that other managers were making fun of ICs for work-place injuries (think Amazon warehouse-like injuries such as overexertion, nerve damage, wrist/knees/back issues.) Absolutely devoid of humanity.
• The company had been automating part of the Atlanta and Chicago warehouses. Managements assigned to be tour guides of these automated warehouses were told to lie say that no IC headcount reduction will occur. Obviously, there were a rise in suspicious performance evaluation after these were built. Also, I was one of the tour guides and were asked by multiple ICs where the observation cameras will be in the ceiling. The fact that multiple raised this seemingly-joking-yet-alarming question tells you just how much Management has trained ICs to become paranoid over time. If you’re a new-hire consultant and feels related to this meme, just know you will be holding the mop to clean up and not the lightsaber.

As the title says, what do you think? I did read a few comments here and there, so I'll share my ideas and maybe expand upon existing ones.
Birthday (Player): It's cool that the Agents have birthdays, so I wonder if Belle and Wise have official ones, if they do, then I do wonder how and what purpose our Player Birthday could be for, yeah free stuff, but idk what else it can do?
Maybe small dialogue changes from NPCS and Agents, idk, how it can work for the players, if Belle and Wise if have official birthdays.
Birthdays (Agents): Same thing but for Agents, maybe they could send a mail personally from them, and ask to personally invite us in a specific day/evening or night. (Would love to see like no specific time ngl, just straight up available during the day till the night).
Birthday Events (Special): If it's a Birthday of an Agent like Anby/Billy/Nicole, one of them could notify or at least initiate a conversation with you and ask if you want to spend some time with them. Which will increase the trust of a specific faction.
But the one who has a birthday gets the most benefits and have discounts and some special items during their birthday.
Maybe during it, they could say "I feel hungry wish I could eat something right now" so you could give something related to the current event (and some minimal differences if it does not meet the requirements).
And before the whole day ends you could gift one of the Agents to increase/decrease their trust tremendously if given or some dialogue for it to say goodnight and goodbye.
Trust: Even if they probably invite you in an event, quite sure in certain scenarios are locked behind it, so maybe this could help and unlock some extra bonuses in a faction or agent.
(Maybe this should unlock Birthday Events, so at least they won't just randomly invite you/some stranger when they met you moments ago, but idk, just a random thought).
And maybe unlocks certain dialogue and events early, for some agents (and possible new ones) regardless of their trust levels, even if they barely know you, they could trust the ones in the faction they're in and talk about a specifc character.
And possibly gain more gifts via mail from Agents when it's your birthday? And maybe a special exclusive item from them once they have a max trust value. Idk sounds like a cute idea lol.
Seasonal Events and Seasonal Outfits (Special): If there's seasons, maybe everyone (yes everyone) gets to wear something on a holiday and have a break from missions, maybe some generous discount/increase prices, special exclusive holiday items etc.
(Which is probably disabled/unable to use during it the holidays, but idk if that sounds like a bad idea).
So maybe spending a holiday with a faction (or maybe everyone if possible) could give a special picture with the faction(s).
I guess a photo album can work to record these events and moments together.
That's probably all the ideas I have, was thinking of adding these ideas to a survey if they do, and maybe add the rest of ideas below here too probably.
I'm seriously excited for what they could do and possible add in this game, so the thought/feedback does count. This sounds like...a lot of work and effort.
(Note: Totally and seriously not an excuse for my favourite being on screen and possible give me something as a gift and maybe personally receive an invitation from them and die in happiness/hj)

Hi, just purchased a Lenovo LOQ laptop this week. Was informed by store staff that I would be eligible for redeeming a free Canon printer straight from Lenovo, with their "Lenovo Back to School Deals 2024" promo.
Curious if anybody else had experienced redeeming their respective freebies? How did it go and how long was the processing time? How much did you shoulder for taxes, shipping costs, etc.? Was it worth the time and effort?

Hi everyone!
I'm in the mood for getting to know new people, so if this post somehow makes you interested, feel free to text me :D
Some info on myself, I'm 24 and I'm from the northern part of Germany, living near Hamburg. I'm currently studying English and French, with a focus on linguistics, though without aiming for a teaching degree (so I'm bound to become a slightly better educated taxi driver in my future :^)). I recently finished my bachelor's thesis and I'm currently visiting classes for a consecutive master's degree, although I am not really planning to go through with it. I'm currently figuring out other options for me, writing applications and stuff, so I'm kinda lost in that regard to be honest, but it is what it is.😸
As far as my hobbies are concerned, they're probably fairly basic. I like playing video games on pc, switch and xbox, play table-tennis and darts and I'm also regularly streaming on twitch and occasionally create YouTube videos! In terms of music, I mostly listen to more or less unpopular (and imo underrated!) german rap from artists like TJ_bb or fliggsy, to name my favs. I'm open to other stuff as well of course, but this is what resonates with me the most! I'm also a huge fan of some video game music, i think it's crazy how it can slap just as hard and emphasize what's happening in the game. Also, I'm a huge the walking dead and ace attorney nerd, which is a combination I haven't really encountered with anyone else till now. I can basically tell you everything from these two franchises, lol. I'm also into the mcu and star wars as well as probably some other shows, movies and games I'm forgetting right now. I also like the danganronpa series...which somehow feels like a guilty pleasure lol.
I think that would be pretty much it for myself for now, but you can ask me more questions of course! Also, if we click, I'd also be up to playing video games and/or talking on discord together :). And also, if you're cool, I will definitely send you lots of memes and reels! Lastly, I would also love to chat with other Germans, which doesn't mean it's a requirement, you can be from wherever, honestly ^. The only requirement I do have is that you are somewhat around my age, as I think it'd be weird to chat with someone significantly youngeolder than me, I hope that's understandable. That would be it, thanks for reading!

Honestly, I doubt someone like me could ever find happiness in this world and if anything I shouldkill myselfnext time I had the chance (I already got stopped once). I'm already having free therapy sessions from my college psychologic department and taking antidepressants and antipsychotics and stuff… Gaming and music are the only things that make me feel alive… But I really doubt that anyone would be willing to be with someone like me...
For context, I'm a 24 years old fat ass that is studying Computer Science in Venezuela that is the embodiment of logging to discord meme... That also has some really fucked up (but not illegal) fetishes that make me think that I'm not really trans, just that I'm mentally ill and too broken to ever find someone that is willing to put up with a fucking bitchboi like me...
And before anyone comments that I should go outside and touch grass, I'm already doing it and I don't feel any better... I literally had to close my discord serveharem and my second life in which at least had some sort of quick ephemeral happiness... But now that I'm devoted to real life more than ever I feel more miserable than ever before... I dunno if things will ever get better... I just wanna end it all and put an end to my suffering...

Hi everyone!
I'm in the mood for getting to know new people, so if this post somehow makes you interested, feel free to text me :D
Some info on myself, I'm 24 and I'm from the northern part of Germany, living near Hamburg. I'm currently studying English and French, with a focus on linguistics, though without aiming for a teaching degree (so I'm bound to become a slightly better educated taxi driver in my future :^)). I recently finished my bachelor's thesis and I'm currently visiting classes for a consecutive master's degree, although I am not really planning to go through with it. I'm currently figuring out other options for me, writing applications and stuff, so I'm kinda lost in that regard to be honest, but it is what it is.😸
As far as my hobbies are concerned, they're probably fairly basic. I like playing video games on pc, switch and xbox, play table-tennis and darts and I'm also regularly streaming on twitch and occasionally create YouTube videos! In terms of music, I mostly listen to more or less unpopular (and imo underrated!) german rap from artists like TJ_bb or fliggsy, to name my favs. I'm open to other stuff as well of course, but this is what resonates with me the most! I'm also a huge fan of some video game music, i think it's crazy how it can slap just as hard and emphasize what's happening in the game. Also, I'm a huge the walking dead and ace attorney nerd, which is a combination I haven't really encountered with anyone else till now. I can basically tell you everything from these two franchises, lol. I'm also into the mcu and star wars as well as probably some other shows, movies and games I'm forgetting right now. I also like the danganronpa series...which somehow feels like a guilty pleasure lol.
I think that would be pretty much it for myself for now, but you can ask me more questions of course! Also, if we click, I'd also be up to playing video games and/or talking on discord together :). And also, if you're cool, I will definitely send you lots of memes and reels! Lastly, I would also love to chat with other Germans, which doesn't mean it's a requirement, you can be from wherever, honestly ^. The only requirement I do have is that you are somewhat around my age, as I think it'd be weird to chat with someone significantly youngeolder than me, I hope that's understandable. That would be it, thanks for reading!

CADDY

Scaling: [Spons RT]() [Scott Wozniak RT]()

STRENGH

• Hangs himself out of spite for the Kinect (Kinect games)
• Uses a golf cart as a club (goofy funhouse)
• Throws his kid out of a window (crash 4 scene)
• Breaks a door (crash 4 scene)
• One shots Momo (haloween)
• Launches a Crash Bandicoot plushie through his roof, which then turns into a another crash plushie (crash merch)
• Pushes a transition screen away (?)
• Throws a phone, breaking it (bootleg)
• Throws a PS1 accessory across the world (ps1 accessories)
• Blows up an old phone (portable crash games)
• Breaks boxes with Crash Bandicoot (bandicoot month)
• Jumps to heaven (I'm bitter)

PUNCHING

• Punches the narrator hard enough to break a camera
• Punches Olly in the face
• Punches himself in the no-no's, causing agrippa to come out his mouth

DURABILITY

• Gets melted by the sun
• Survives in space
• Can survive without his head
• Survives after Spons rips through his chest
• Hammers a screwdriver into his ear
• As he is consistently in the Scott the Woz universe, to the point Caddy talks to him from the window of his house, Scott caused the universe to collapse which Caddy survived, since he's in the universe
• Gets flattened by the bricks
• Gets eaten by a crocodile
• Flies out the living room on a skateboard
• Falls off a roof
• Gets ran over
• Stabs himself, however he is hurt by this
• Goes inside toxic waste
• Covers himself in gasoline, and lights himself on fire off screen
• Fine after the sun spits a game at him
• Gets squished by Daddy Pig
• Impales himself with a sword
• Gets his eyes eaten
• Bleeds out his eyes
• Survives getting shot in the head
• Breaks his spine
• Gets inhaled by a Playstation
• Falls onto a couch hard enough to shake a room

GETTING SHOT

• Incapable of killing himself, blowing his his head off with a shotgun
• Fine after shooting himself in the cock
• Survives being shot in the head by a box of Rice Krispies
• Shoots himself in the head (skateboard)

TRANSMUTATION RESISTANCE

• Comes back after being turned into metal
• Gets tubacolosis and literally turns into a tuba.
• Gets turned into a youtooz vinyl figure

BLUNT FORCE ANG GETTING PUNCHED

• Takes a kick from Goku, however it's debatable if he's the actual one.
• Takes a hit from a giant hammer
• Knocked out by a baseball bat
• Gets punched by Big the Cat hard enough to swat away the entire screen

SPEED

• Surprises Scott the Woz
• Flies into a holiday inn, blowing it up
• Flies into space
• Dodges a sword swing
• Duplicates himself to catch a disc thrown by himself, in his mouth
• Runs fast enough to create after-images
• Turns into a rocket
• Takes a bouns round platform to America
• Jumpscares you (halloween)
• Dodges bullets from Spy Caddy

EXPLOSIONS

• Survives an explosion that kills Crash Bandicoot
• Survives this random explosion
• Gets nuked
• Survives a car being launched at him, creating an explosion
• Ok after his head blows up
• Gets his head blown off, launched onto a breakout paddle, then back onto his body
• Survives an explosion caused by a ps5 that fills a room
• Has a bunch of Crash Bandicoot merchandise fall from space, onto him
• Survives an unexpected explosion #ABILITIES
• Can turn a Cartridge into a PS1 game
• Kills a woman by mentioning the fifth element game
• Can use the force
• Can use the force lightning
• Can summon things by simply mentioning them
• Reverses pouring Pepsi in a cup
• Turns into the sun
• Toxic tunnels made him so toxic that people who came near him died
• Gives life to a teddy bear
• Can respawn at his house if he dies or gets KO'd
• Can stretch his neck
• whatever the duck this is (halloween special start)
• Can teleport
• Can multiply himself
• Can just say bad things to make them happen

TELEPORTATION

• Uses his "Bitch powers" to teleport
• Teleports to catch a game in his mouth

SIZE MANIPULATION

• Seemingly becomes this big (poster)
• Shrinks to a mini size to demonstrate a Crash TNT crate light

STUFF

• Pulls out a baseball bat, which he hits his cousin Mug with
• Has a lightsaber
• gun.
• A wand that's capable of blowing people up
• a mini TNT crate, which he throws at Olly
• Has a gun which evolves people
• Has robot feet, which he uses to kick his children
• Has a dragon (with no practical use whatsoever apart from flying, which he can already do.) (httyd segment)
• Bouns platform, which as mentioned before can go to places like america in seconds. For context, Caddy is in the UK
• Big thruster- A rocket that's shaped like a cock
• Oujia board
• Presumably wears groin guard
• Can be protected by his PS1 memory card, which catches him after he falls from a plane
• Ready access to nuclear weapons (eyetoy)
• A knife, which he uses to threaten Matt rose (eyetoy)

SLAUGHTERER

• Can remove memories
• Functions as a normal gun

INTELLIGENCE

• Could get away with treason
• Hacks into Brutalmoose's laptop
• Knows where you live. This not a joke. Hide. Now.
• Replaces his own spine
• Is a Spy in his spare time

OTHER

• [Salvages the computer screen](The creepy doll)
• [Freezes time, however he might not be immune](commercials)
• [Teleports to his couch in a flash of lightning, since he's wearing new clothes, this may be time travel](commercials)
• Used to have 540 thousand teeth.
• Interacts with his past self, presumably kills him off screen
• Drinks a game
• Flies through a chimney using balloons (UP game)
• Makes his eyes come off his face
• Can jump unreasonably high (bad ps4 store games)
• Creates fire using the coronation street game
• Removes the text from a magazine (psq magazines)
• Turns a cartridge into a disc
• Has eyes on the back of his head
• His mum stopped a freight train by frowning at it
• Can lay an egg containing Spons, however this can only happen once a month
• Turns into the "Jim Nebula"

WEAKNESSES

• Is shit at riding hoverboards
• Has chronic heart pain sometimes.
• Has a drinking problem
• Suicidal
• Needs pills so he doesn't murder you

Hi everyone!
I'm in the mood for getting to know new people, so if this post somehow makes you interested, feel free to text me :D
Some info on myself, I'm 24 and I'm from the northern part of Germany, living near Hamburg. I'm currently studying English and French, with a focus on linguistics, though without aiming for a teaching degree (so I'm bound to become a slightly better educated taxi driver in my future :^)). I recently finished my bachelor's thesis and I'm currently visiting classes for a consecutive master's degree, although I am not really planning to go through with it. I'm currently figuring out other options for me, writing applications and stuff, so I'm kinda lost in that regard to be honest, but it is what it is.😸
As far as my hobbies are concerned, they're probably fairly basic. I like playing video games on pc, switch and xbox, play table-tennis and darts and I'm also regularly streaming on twitch and occasionally create YouTube videos! In terms of music, I mostly listen to more or less unpopular (and imo underrated!) german rap from artists like TJ_bb or fliggsy, to name my favs. I'm open to other stuff as well of course, but this is what resonates with me the most! I'm also a huge fan of some video game music, i think it's crazy how it can slap just as hard and emphasize what's happening in the game. Also, I'm a huge the walking dead and ace attorney nerd, which is a combination I haven't really encountered with anyone else till now. I can basically tell you everything from these two franchises, lol. I'm also into the mcu and star wars as well as probably some other shows, movies and games I'm forgetting right now. I also like the danganronpa series...which somehow feels like a guilty pleasure lol.
I think that would be pretty much it for myself for now, but you can ask me more questions of course! Also, if we click, I'd also be up to playing video games and/or talking on discord together :). And also, if you're cool, I will definitely send you lots of memes and reels! Lastly, I would also love to chat with other Germans, which doesn't mean it's a requirement, you can be from wherever, honestly ^. The only requirement I do have is that you are somewhat around my age, as I think it'd be weird to chat with someone significantly youngeolder than me, I hope that's understandable. That would be it, thanks for reading!

Hi everyone!
I'm in the mood for getting to know new people, so if this post somehow makes you interested, feel free to text me :D
Some info on myself, I'm 24 and I'm from the northern part of Germany, living near Hamburg. I'm currently studying English and French, with a focus on linguistics, though without aiming for a teaching degree (so I'm bound to become a slightly better educated taxi driver in my future :^)). I recently finished my bachelor's thesis and I'm currently visiting classes for a consecutive master's degree, although I am not really planning to go through with it. I'm currently figuring out other options for me, writing applications and stuff, so I'm kinda lost in that regard to be honest, but it is what it is.😸
As far as my hobbies are concerned, they're probably fairly basic. I like playing video games on pc, switch and xbox, play table-tennis and darts and I'm also regularly streaming on twitch and occasionally create YouTube videos! In terms of music, I mostly listen to more or less unpopular (and imo underrated!) german rap from artists like TJ_bb or fliggsy, to name my favs. I'm open to other stuff as well of course, but this is what resonates with me the most! I'm also a huge fan of some video game music, i think it's crazy how it can slap just as hard and emphasize what's happening in the game. Also, I'm a huge the walking dead and ace attorney nerd, which is a combination I haven't really encountered with anyone else till now. I can basically tell you everything from these two franchises, lol. I'm also into the mcu and star wars as well as probably some other shows, movies and games I'm forgetting right now. I also like the danganronpa series...which somehow feels like a guilty pleasure lol.
I think that would be pretty much it for myself for now, but you can ask me more questions of course! Also, if we click, I'd also be up to playing video games and/or talking on discord together :). And also, if you're cool, I will definitely send you lots of memes and reels! Lastly, I would also love to chat with other Germans, which doesn't mean it's a requirement, you can be from wherever, honestly ^. The only requirement I do have is that you are somewhat around my age, as I think it'd be weird to chat with someone significantly youngeolder than me, I hope that's understandable. That would be it, thanks for reading!

Heartbreak.
That’s what got me, well, out of my funk. In a sense, at least. I was in a rut. Knew it. She did too. Guess we were in a rut, really. Ran its course. Doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt like hell, but, well, sometimes stories end, you know?
So I did my piece. Curled up into the fetal position and fucking bawled. Days went by. Go to work. Go home. A zombie. Drank a lot more. But time wore down the edges eventually. And one day, I said “fuck it.” Packed my car, quit my job, and fucked off across the country. That was the plan anyway. Heading home. Maybe with my tail between my legs. I wasn’t sure.
It was a long drive. From the West Coast to the depths of the Midwest. From the shimmering, golden shores to undulating, aureate waves of grain. Radio stations fading in and out. Long stretches of static. Data dropping fucking everywhere. Sometimes I twisted through the AM band. Hellfire and brimstone. Vast conspiracies that always lacked imagination. What happened the fun stuff? Lizard people. Time travelers. Area 51. Not anymore. Everything’s a fucking angle. Propaganda. Switch it off.
I took a long way. Choosing county routes over the interstate. I had time to kill, so why not? Might as well see some of this country. The back parts. Dark parts. Quiet parts. Flyover parts. The “you don’t see anyone other than the locals and lost” and kinda parts. And I guess I was lost, right? In a sense. Though, I was hoping I wouldn’t become physically so. God knows I didn’t need to slip through the cracks of the Earth somewhere out near Kearney, Nebraska.
But things did get strange–shouldn’t that be expected out in these less-traveled places, though?--somewhere around Sheldon, South Dakota. I was at a rest stop, pulled over for a break, trying to get the last Clif bar to break free of the piece of shit vending machine, when I saw a black semi roll up.
Now, when I saw black, I mean completely. Utterly. Entirely. A pitch black cab with tinted black windows pulling a matching black trailer. Even the rims were black. It stood out like a oozing sludge against the golden, baked landscape. I stood there, by the vending machine, waiting for a while to see who would emerge. Of course I was curious. BUt…no one did. It just sat there–this beast of a vehicle–idling. I figured the driver must have been pulling over to take a nap or to call it quits from his shift–they can only drive so long, right? But you’d think they’d want to step out and stretch their legs.
Eventually, I managed to hit the plastic of the machine just right to free my Clif bar. I tore it open, took a bite, and returned to my car. Back on the road. I had places to be.
It was strange, though. I kept seeing the black truck after that. It passed me–somehow–on the highway a few dozen miles from the rest stop. But I caught up, a few miles outside of Sioux City. I passed right alongside it, my eyes straining to see who was driving. Naturally, the windows were tinted too and I couldn’t see a damn thing. I just couldn’t put it out of my mind. Such an odd sight. This big, beastly, pitch black truck barreling across the dull Midwest. It didn’t even have any markings. No company logo. No indication of what it was delivering, who it belonged to, or where it might be going. Well, it did have plates. Washington. But there was no way to know where it originated from.
After passing by it and getting through Blue Earth, I saw it again at a rundown motel. The Cozy Inn. I had pulled off a few hours earlier, deciding to spend the night. I was exhausted, had pulled a 10 hour day and could barely keep my eyes open. The clerk put me up in some grimy room that looked like the set of more than one true crime series. Stained sheets. Peeling wallpaper. A bathroom sink more inclined to spit out brown gunk than drinkable water.
My window faced the parking lot. I sat up for a while, curtains drawn, vaguely watching the television–playing one of those trashy true crime shows I feared I might end up on–and the parking lot. Cars occasionally came and went. I saw some of my neighbors, who looked mostly like travelers or perhaps vagrants. While a police officer was detailing a particularly gruesome scene on Murder Comes Home, I saw the black semi roll into the parking lot.
Once again, it sat there idling, headlights blazing through my window. I grew irritated. I almost got up to go outside. As I was contemplating the possible dangers of such a decision, a woman approached the monstrous truck. She looked beautiful in a miserable way, with a short fluorescent pink skirt and heels too high for the pock-marked parking lot.
She opened the passenger side door and climbed in, disappearing into the tinted darkness. The headlights went off and for a while I watched, silence save for the exploitative program murmuring in the background:
Her limbs were buried in separate spots along the roadside ditch…
My heart–broken though it was–thumped in my throat.
Her head was never recovered…
I walked outside, suddenly very concerned. I stood on the pavement in my shorts and t-shirt, facing the truck, no idea what I might do.
The door opened.
The woman stepped out.
Blood was running down her neck.
I ran up to her, “Miss, hey, Miss, are you okay?! You’re bleeding. Should I call an ambulance?” I was frantic, my eyes darting between the blood on her neck, trying to ascertain the source and the thumping truck.
“Oh, I’m fine. Just swell. Fucking grand.” Her voice was dreamy. Her eyes were glazed over as though she was in a daze.
I grabbed her arm, “I really don’t think you’re–”
She suddenly became more cogent, grasping my hand, “You don’t wanna get fucking involve in this, kid.”
I thought that was an odd thing to say–she was younger than me.
“I’m just trying to–” The headlights went on, illuminating us like a spotlight on a stage. The woman darted off, swaying as she did.
I stood there–stupid–not moving. All the lights in the parking lot went out and all I could hear was the engine idling. The driver’s side window rolled down. For a while–what seemed like an eternity, really–nothing happened. But then a hand emerged, casually, finger curling backwards, calling me over. And so I walked. What was I going to do? Be rude?
I couldn’t see inside the cab, but a voice emerged. It was deep, bone-shaking. It didn’t feel like it traveled through the air. More like it vibrated my eardrums, bouncing around my skull.
“You’re hurt.”
It took me a moment to gather myself, “Hurt?”
“Deeply. Wounded. Lost. Like a stray dog.”
I squeezed my hands together and could feel tears welling up in my eyes, “I’m just–”
“I can help.” The voice pushed inside me.
“You can?”
“Get in. Come take a little ride. You’ll feel better. Free. Happy. Complete.”
I stood in hesitation, my eyes on the hand, which was a deathly pale. It was almost translucent, but seemed so soft, gentle. I wanted to feel it on my cheek.
“Okay.”
I walked to the other side of the cab, pulled open the heavy metal door, and climbed into the plush, black seat. As soon as I pulled it shut I felt hands all over me. In my hair. On my neck. Roaming along my collarbones. Grasping my shoulders. I couldn’tj tell how many. Four? Six? Eight? Soft and gentle and cold.
I closed my eyes. I sank into the darkness. The headlights went out as the cab rumbled, pulling back onto the deserted county route.
And I felt good. So good.
Now, I don’t feel anything at all. Not scared or sad or hurt or lost. I’m found. Just like you could be found. So if you ever see a pitch black semi rolling along the highway, think about flagging it down.
And then, like me, you’ll never have to die

Hey there, potential co-adventurer! I've finally come to terms with the fact that I can't navigate this crazy world alone. If you can handle a guy who thinks he's funnier than he actually is (spoiler: I'm not), and you have a tolerance for puns so bad they should be considered a form of torture, then we might just be a match made in heaven. Or at least in the comedy section of heaven.
Picture this: you, me, and a Netflix queue longer than the line at the DMV. If you're the type of person who can appreciate the finer things in life, like a well-timed movie reference or a perfectly executed dad joke, then congratulations, you've passed phase one of the compatibility test. Now, let's move on to phase two: spontaneous adventures. Bonus points if you have a secret map to buried treasure hidden in your sock drawer.
Let's talk food. Are you the kind of person who can appreciate both a gourmet meal and a midnight snack consisting of leftover pizza straight from the fridge? Do you have a sixth sense for finding the best hole-in-the-wall restaurants in town? If so, I bow down to your culinary prowess and offer my services as official taste tester and dishwasher extraordinaire.
Here's the deal: I'm not interested in playing mind games or pretending to be someone I'm not. If you're looking for a genuine connection with someone who's as real as it gets (flaws and all), then you've come to the right place. Life's too short to waste on fake personalities and small talk about the weather. Let's skip the BS and dive straight into the good stuff.
Speaking of good stuff, let's talk about conversation. Are you the type of person who can keep up with my rapid-fire wit and obscure pop culture references? Can you hold your own in a debate about whether a hot dog is a sandwich or if aliens walk among us disguised as house cats? If so, prepare yourself for some epic banter sessions and maybe even a few intellectual debates (spoiler alert: I'll probably lose).
So, if you're ready to embark on a journey filled with laughter, adventure, and the occasional existential crisis, then send me a message with your best joke and a fun fact about yourself. Let's see if we can create some unforgettable memories together, starting with the time we both got lost in a grocery store trying to find the aisle with the pickles.