Mwu mwau muh mwauwau mwow-wow...
I swear this is what my children hear when I open my mouth. Much of the time these are articulate creatures that are fluent in English. But the second I give an instruction they just hear a random assortment of syllables.

• "Stay on the carpet, I just mopped the tile and it's still wet"... "Ok daddy!" While literally sprinting into the kitchen.
  
• "Time to come inside"... blank stare... "kiddo, time to come inside"... kids hand slowly lifts and points to the door... "yes, that's where inside is"
  
• The phrase "come here, quickly" or worse "no eating snacks right now, dinner is cooking" may just as well be recited in ancient sumerian.
  

We're currently broke rn. And were in debt so we had to sell our car last year and just booked a new one. And me and my mom thought that everybody already knows about that. But apparently my dad lied to everyone to not damage his reputation. So we had a family wedding to attend today evening and we were outside our house waiting for an uber because we don't have a car. It was very awkward and the cherry on top was the lightning. It was about to rain and my mom was really looking forward to this wedding. Then two of the neighborhood ladies who were taking a walk saw us and asked my mom where were we going so dressed up and my mom said that we're going to a wedding, then they asked for what were we waiting and my mom just told the truth that we sold our car due to financial issues so we're waiting for an uber. Then the two ladies awkwardly laughed and continued their walk. My dad got extremely angry at this because the husbands of the two ladies aren't rich and my mom just lowered his "value" in front of the two ladies by just saying the truth. He threw the wedding gift on the road, cancelled the uber and said that he won't go to the wedding. Then he started screaming vulgar language and "revealed" to everyone (all the houses' front doors were open) that my mother is six years older than him. Now this is a very sensitive topic to my mother. Whenever the word "age" is mentioned in front of my mother, she starts fidgeting. Apparently it's a big shame. A few people even came outside to see what was going on but they didn't interfere. I'm pretty sure someone recorded. My mom was very embarassed but still wanted to go to the wedding, so she tried to convince dad to book an uber again and then we went to the wedding. He refused to come inside and just waited outside and a thunderstorm started. Me and my mom went inside with dull faces and I ignored everyone who tried to talk to me. Idk why I did that, it just made it very apparent that something bad happened. Everybody started asking where was my dad and my mom just had to reveal that this and that happened. There was family who lived close to our house and they offered to take us home if our dad refused to which he did. He sent a message saying he's leaving. We had our food very quickly. I literally couldn't eat anything. Then we were about to leave when my dad texted that he doesn't have the house key and to give it to him. My mom and I walked to him during the thunderstorm and then he said that he booked an uber and we're all leaving. My mom had to say that we're going with dad so they don't keep waiting for us but they just wouldn't pick up the phone. So my mom had to walk back again and tell them. My dad then cancelled the uber. Said some things and then told us that he's leaving alone and to manage somehow and that he won't even open the door for us when we reach home. But then he came back with an uber. So we get in. He told my mom how he's going to reveal to everyone how she's six years older because my mom embarassed him in front of people who aren't up to his level (his words). Then he told my mom to go the houses of the two neighborhood ladies and tell them the lie which my dad told everyone else. We went to both the houses and the two ladies just laughed. One of them said she didn't even remember it and the other one said that my father had the right to be angry. He didn't enter along with us and when we left the house, he wasn't outside. He went home. My mom and dad then started arguing really loudly and my mom told him that she's going to the police to "scare" him but it just made everything worse. He took a heavy chair and was about to hit her with it. But he didn't, he just used his hand and he did it so hard, my mom started bleeding from her mouth. But he didn't care. He then took a photo of her while she fell down on the floor and sent it to everyone we had on WhatsApp. Even people from my school. I deleted it soon after and blocked everyone's number but I'm sure some of them saw the picture. He said he's going to embarass her ten times worse than she did. Then he also told me that he will not let me go to school again. And that he would kill both me and my mom and then glady go to prison. He won't let mom divorce him or report him to the police. He would kill us instead. I don't think life will ever get better. I've posted so many times on Reddit always hoping maybe it will get better one day but it never does. I feel really bad for my mother. She may be older but she's the prettiest woman I know. Her beauty will never fade. And we literally never have anywhere to go and my mom spent hours trying to look perfect because she wanted many pictures to post but it couldn't happen. She didn't get to take a single picture. I really really want to give her the life she truly deserves. She was so excited for today. She was planning her outfit and everything like two months ago.
Wrong flair but can't edit it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OphjEzHF5dY

Jan Leike, Illya etc have all been fleeing - not leaving, fleeing, from OpenAI.
The links and refeneces below were posted earlier - but this week is an inflection point where the actions, public statements, tweets, documents and videos/reviews of the OpenAI situation should be FN terrifying.
This video is talking about what is openly talked about in public - so what is being discussed behind closed doors.
The links below are incredibly relevant and important to take within the context of whats been going on this week. It would seem that we already passed a pivitol inflection - which appears to be related to the use of AI in military applications unfettered by entanglements with ethical alignments .
Israel has likely been the first full testbed of AI in warfare. Is this what the employees are fleeing from?

THIS IS NOT ABOUT ISRAEL/GAZA *politically* This is about AI in warfare as a technology. { / { \ * { } /~~~\ { / } o.0 { /,`( . )`,\ <---- Whooo needs to Chill Owlt? { \ _________^_^___ { / 

This is about Alignments, Guardrails, Applications, Entanglements etc for this iteration of AI.
Israel is the only country at war that has a bunch of AI usage claims riddled in media, so:
OpenAI GPT4o - realtime video, audio understanding. Realtime video/audio interpretation availble on a phone - Read my SS for more context on where we are headed with AI as it pertains to wasurveillance - Nvidias announcement: 100% of the worlds inference today is done by Nvidia.
SS:

1. Nvidia CEO talking about how all AI inference happens on their platform
   
2. Zuckerberg talks about how many chips they are deploying
   
3. Sam Altman (OpenAI FoundeCeo):
   
4. OpenAI allows for Military Use
   
5. @Sama says Israel will have huge role in AI revolution
   
6. Israel is using "gospel AI" to identify military targets
   
7. Klaus Schab: WEF on Global Powers, War, and AI
   
8. State of AI Index in 2024 PDF <-- This is really important because it shows whats being done from a regulatory and other perspective by US,EU and others on AI -- HERE is a link to the GDrive for all the charts and raw data to compose that Stanford Study
   

HN Link to that study in case is gets some commentarty there
So what amount of war aid is coming back to AI companies such as OpenAI, Nvidia....

The pace is astonishing: In the wake of the brutal attacks by Hamas-led militants on October 7, Israeli forces have struck more than 22,000 targets inside Gaza, a small strip of land along the Mediterranean coast. Just since the temporary truce broke down on December 1, Israel's Air Force has hit more than 3,500 sites.
The Israeli military says it's using artificial intelligence to select many of these targets in real-time. The military claims that the AI system, named "the Gospel," has helped it to rapidly identify enemy combatants and equipment, while reducing civilian casualties.

• "Understanding how Gospel AI is used"
  
• GOSPEL is being advocated on Linkedin by the WEF
  
• Israel's military has been open about their use of artificial intelligence (AI) for driving data driven insights for real-time decision making on the battlefield. The system is known as The Gospel and according to the Israel Military website the system was developed by Israel's signals intelligence branch, Unit 8200.
  

Nvidia has several projects in Israel, including

1. Nvidia Israel-1 AI supercomputer: the sixth fastest computer in the world, built at a cost of hundreds of millions of dollars
2. Nvidia Spectrum-X: a networking platform for AI applications
3. Nvidia Mellanox: chips, switches and software and hardware platforms for accelerated communications
4. Nvidia Inception Program for Startups: an accelerator for early-stage companies
5. Nvidia Developer Program: free access to Nvidia’s offerings for developers
6. Nvidia Research Israel AI Lab: research in algorithms, theory and applications of deep learning, with a focus on computer vision and reinforcement learning

EDIT: Tristan Harris and Aza Raskin on JRE should be valuable context regarding ethics, alignment, entanglements, guard-rails

Anyone who dealt with an abusive ex (mine was emotionally not physically) and had to cut all communication for peace of mind and to really move on...was it hard for you to do so cold turkey? Especially when the break up was very abrupt and left very little to be said.
I know I made the right decision with not engaging in conversation with him after the fact, changed my number so no way for him to contact me anymore but I still do find myself wanting to tell him about a song I hear that reminds me of him or a YouTube video I know he'd enjoy but just coming to the realization of I never will actually be able to be friends with him because there is no chance for reconciliation in my mind and leaving that door open for him to think otherwise is just unfair. Im not sure if he's livid with me, hurt, I have no clue and I blocked him on everything including family members which really sucked because I really loved having them in my life...(the break up itself was hostile on my end so Im sure he's called me all kinds of crazy because his family blocked my number after that) I stopped following them so I don't get jaded by seeing him online while Im trying to move on. His birthday is this week too & I just got his present in the mail I forgot I ordered. So many things hitting me at once today....
I finally moved out of our shared living apartment this week and was very excited for the next chapter in my life but also kind of bummed in the same breath he won't get to experience it with me...
Getting closure is nice to help you "move on" in life but I feel like that conversation wouldn't be productive because of who he is and how immature he tended to act when tough conversations needed to he had while still together & probably still isn't in a headspace to really talk things out not long after the break up (about a month ago we broke up)
My family has been very sympathetic to me and my willingness to fight for as long as I did but I can't really tell them how Im truly feeling in vulnerable moments like this, they just don't understand. Ill get called stupid, weak and whatever insults that come to mind so I just keep it to myself.
I think Im just missing the good times we had and he really was my favorite person Ive ever had the fortune to know in this life when things were good but I know those bad times far outweighed the good as far as the gravity they both had within me in my viewpoint, the good was always nice but the bad was just way too much for me to bare with everything else going on in life at the time we ended making the break up inevitable. I think Im proud that I finally choose my own happiness and mental clarity in the end because he and I were not a good fit foundationally, he held in way more than he lead on and I couldn't fix what I didn't know of. I grew to feel resentment towards him whenever he would blame me for something so clearly that wasn't my fault and wanted me to be the scapegoat in alot of situations where simply voicing a concern turns into screaming matches. I couldn't keep turning a blind eye while he destroys himself mentally for where things ended up for him in life.
I had to distance myself in order to save my own mental sanity, he wasn't ever willing to make meaningful changes to help us be in better circumstances he just talked a good game & once I understood that...it was just a matter of time. Constantly lying about things that never even warranted lies, the list goes on but isn't really relevant so I digress. We maybe could have been very good friends in another life but just not in this one with how everything went left. I loved him deeply more than myself at times which was the root issue I needed to address but just couldn't stick it out without seeing some kind of significant change in order to justify staying.
This was just meant to vent and get help on how to get out of a space of wanting to talk - to get this out but I know even if we did talk nothing really would come of it and I think of myself as a placeholder for an ex of his who I always believed he never truly got over so I just have to take it as a lesson learned and try to focus on what I can do to lead a much happier life on my own until I find someone worth having around in that way again.

After the text and e-mail referenced in the title, he unfriended me on Facebook and apparently blocked my phone number. Nor did he respond to my email, so maybe I’m blocked there as well. I had been in a relationship with him for several months. (Prior to that we had lengthy correspondences for a month.) We grew incredibly close. He frequently told me how special and precious I am. We said “I love you” often. He ended almost all his texts with “Love you with all my heart,” “Love always,” etc. We talked a lot about the future. Very recently he said he wanted to discuss our relationship, and that was what we planned to do the evening of the day he sent the break-up email and then blocked me. In the previous couple of weeks he said we needed to talk, but wouldn’t say about what. And each time I suggested we could talk, he either said it was too late in the evening or there wasn’t enough time. I’m confused, because one day I set aside three hours for us to talk, and he said it wasn’t enough time, so he didn’t want to talk then.
We are both over 60 years old. We both have health issues and similar difficult life issues. I thought we understood and were supporting each other. I had told him I’d never abandon him, no matter what he was going through. I’ve never loved anyone like this.
I recently had an epidural steroid spinal injection. The steroid left me with inability to sleep more than a few broken up hours and it caused me to be extremely irritable, and the side effects lasted longer than the few days I was told they would. I know it was as difficult for him to handle my uncontrollable temporary mood swings as it was for me, if not harder. I’m far from the perfect partner because of chronic health and sleep issues, but if that is why he no longer wanted to be with me, or if it was another reason, I feel I deserved to be told how he felt in person.
I’m blindsided, devastated, and heartbroken. I don’t understand. And what does using the phrase “indefinite break” mean? Does that mean he’s leaving the door open for coming back to me someday, or is it a euphemism for saying it’s over between us? I can’t stand the thought of not seeing him again, especially because I don’t know why. It hurts so bad! He is a musician who will be performing in several band concerts I planned to attend this summer. On the one hand, I want to go and sit up front so I can at least see him and and not deny myself enjoying the band because I’ve been looking forward to the shows. I wouldn’t approach him because I know he wouldn’t want me to. On the other hand, I know how awkward and uncomfortable it might be.
On a side note, one previous relationship partner did something very similar to me, although that relationship wasn’t as serious as this one. We had a pleasant date the evening before, and the next afternoon he blindsided me with an email saying he didn’t want to be in a relationship with me anymore. Is this common break-up behavior?

First
Auraxium Captain Nikto Rakzes POV
Those traitors think they can hide from us in the old home system of the Elyrian? I’ll show them what happens when they cross Captain Nikto Rakzes! Nobody pulls one over on me and gets away with it. I mean how did I honestly believe that they were courier runners? Yes, they had the necessary paperwork, so I had to go by the books and let them go. But once they strayed from their route their fate was sealed. These three shall rue the day they thought they could escape the great Nikto Rakzes!
Crew of the Scav POV
“No weapons, that’s fine we can still manage. Little one I never got your name by the way.” Asked Tic-Tac from the speakers all around the room.
“My name is Lizra, Captain Lizra Riteness the Third to be exact.”
“Adorable, ok Captain Lizra, how sure are you that these ones incoming are hostile?”
“I'm Fairly certain. I just didn’t think that they would be so suspicious of us as to follow us here.”
“Well we did lie to them and pretend to be galactic couriers. And that dumbass bought every word of it too” Chucked Argall.
“Argall language. We are Tic-Tac's esteemed guests here.”
“No worries little one. That's ok, I think I have a plan that may get us all out of here. I can completely stabilize the atmosphere within the facility and then when they enter I will be able to jettison them from the airlocks. Do you think that might buy us enough time to get to your vessel?”
“We’re not going to fight them ourselves? The whole reason I was sent with you was to carry this weapon back! I was hoping to get to use it at least. But now I can’t even do that since the weapon is a fucking guy.” Complained Argall, annoyed that there still hadn’t been a confrontation that required his expertise.
“Don’t worry Induran, if they manage to stick around after we show them the door, we may have use for you yet. And your name is?”
“Argall” He grumbled, still disappointed there was no ancient weapon of destruction he could wield like some god of war.
“Argall what?” Questioned Tic-tac confused.
“Just Argall”
“Appropriate. They should be arriving any second now. I am going to go ahead and remove the atmosphere from this room so that we do not have to worry about pressure equalization when we make our move. Z-8 do you have any way to remotely pilot your ship from here?”
“We do not even need to inquire as to how you know our name, but please call us Zate from this point forward. Yes we have the ability to control the ship remotely. What do you have in mind Program?”
“I can see from the security feeds they are going to station their ship near yours. I will forward you the location of where to move your ship once I eject the intruders. I am going to illuminate the path to another exit, for you to move to. Once there I’ll pressurize the door, open the airlock, and throw you into space.”
“You’re going to do what with us!? I do not consent to being blasted into the cosmos Mr. Tic-Tac.” Replied Lizra clutching onto Argall even tighter.
“Captain, the claws”
“Yes my apologies Argall”
“Do not worry. If Zate gets the ship in position you will be propelled right into the loading bay or your vessel. When I was connected to Zate I was able to view the schematic of your ship. I will send her a visual representation of how to orient it to properly recieve you.” Tic-Tac replied matter of factly.
“Not necessary, we can visualize that without your aid computer.”
While the plan was being created the Human sat silently watching them. Throughout the entire conversation he hadn’t taken his eyes off of the small Elyrian captain in the room. His masked helmet gave away no signs as to how he felt towards the plan, or other occupants in the room. Lizra hopped down from atop Argall and made her way over to Human looking up at him. When standing on her hind legs she barely came up to his knees.
“Um, Mr Human, do you have anything to add to the plan?”
“No.”
“Will you defend us if it comes to that?”
“Yea sure…and I’m sorry.”
“Sorry? For what exactly?”
“Just that-”
As Lizra and Human were locked in their engrossing dialogue, a loud bang echoed throughout the facility that shook the walls of the research room. The trio jumped into action and gathered around the exit door as Human walked over to the small black box looking down at it.
“Just lemme know when Tic-Tac.”
“Disconnect me only when they get to safety. Any earlier and I will not have access to the facility.”
“You aren’t coming with us?” Asked Lizra looking down at the little black computer.
“We will be following shortly, I have to ensure your safe exit. We also have a few more items to grab before we make our leave.” A second later an explosion was heard down the hall, followed by a booming voice that echoed throught the base.
“This is Auraxium Captain Nikto Rakzes of The Prowler. You are in violation of Core federal code 13-7451 impersonating a galactic courier and attempting to flee from federal authorities. Cooperate and you will be handled respectfully. If you refuse to do so then you shall face severe repercussions. Such as a fine upwards of 10,000 credits. That will be all.”
“He seems to be in a better mood today,” Lizra chuckled.
“Oh we’ll see if he’s still threatening us with a fine when I threaten him with his own spine.”
Argall grunted putting his fists together.
“Ok Zate get the ship moving, I’m opening the airlocks now. Good luck everyone, see you soon.”
When Tic-Tac finished his farewell, the sounds of air rushing out of the facility sounded from the other side of the door. It opened up moments later and the three rushed out into the hall. They followed the blinking lights that guided them through the corridors. Upon reaching the exit they made their way into the small airlock and the door sealed behind them.
“7 seconds and we will have the ship in position. We hope Tic-Tac does not send us out too e-” Zate was cut off as the opposite door opened and plunged the trio untethered out into the stars. Outside they could see countless others flailing around in the vacuum of space, having also been unexpectedly jettisoned from the base. Lizra locked her eyes onto the ship and saw it on an interception course with them. Their trajectory was impeccable, sending them right into the open loading bay. Argall grabbed the small captain and wrapped his bulk around her to shield her from the impact. The three were thrown into the ship with the blast door slamming shut behind them.
“Wait, what about Human and Tic-Tac?” Lizra asked squirming free of Argall grip.
“We have established comms with Tic-Tac again, he says not to worry and to prepare for departure.” Zate said, picking themselves up off the floor.
“Right, lets get out of here before those Core clowns get their bearings again.”
“What? No, thank you Argall for saving me? No, Oh Argall are you hurt from taking that fall for me?”
“You’re expected to save your captain Argall, we need to focus on saving Human and Tic-Tac right now.”
“No problem, you're welcome captain, yes i'm fine, thank you for asking.”
Once back in the command room of The Scav they surveyed the situation. The majority of The Prowler’s crew was still floating around aimlessly outside. The Prowler itself had started moving away from the landing pads, bearing down on The Scav.
“Captain weapons lock detected. They are directing us to stand down and not to flee.”
“Or what? We get another fine?”
“We believe they might not tell us again.”
As the two ships faced off, Lizra was debating whether to give the order to make a slipspace jump or to surrender. Before she could make up her mind, she saw the form of Human launching himself from the facility below. He was not headed for The Scav, but instead towards The Prowler.
“Quick Zate tell him that’s not our ship! That's the ones that came here to attack us!”
“We believe he knows that.”
“Then what is he doing? Is he betraying us? And here I thought he was just warming up to me.”
Human was silhouetted against the bright red hull of the Prowler as he made contact with it and latched on. He launched himself from the side of the ship making a beeline for the front. Once there he dug his hands into the metal walls, climbing towards the windows of The Prowler’s bridge. Human stared into the bridge of The Prowler before raising an arm and shattering the glass of the viewport and throwing himself inside. A few stray plasma shots could be seen exiting the bridge before the ship’s metal shutters slammed shut in an attempt to stop the atmosphere from escaping.
“Remind me to ask Human to show me how to punch like that.”
“Captain weapons are no longer locked. Should we start a slipspace jump?”
“Yes, go for slipspace, seatbelts everyone! Zate open the cargo bay again.”
A minute later the metal shutters were torn open from the inside and Human jumped from the ruins of The Prowler's bridge towards The Scav. The Scav moved closer to intercept, and Zate oriented the ship to receive him in the open bay. Once Human was safely aboard, the cargo bay was closed and Zate initiated the slipspace jump. Once away from danger the crew gave a sigh of relief, Lizra unbuckling herself from her pedestal and surveyed the monitors.
“Well I’d like to see them give us that fine now. Great work everyone. And Argall? Thank you for shielding me earlier, it looked like it hurt.”
“Of course captain you’re welcome. And I’m fine thank you.”
“Oh come now, I was being genuine. I appreciate your initiative to keep me safe. I’ll put you in for some sort of medal when we return.”
“Nah I don’t need a medal. I just wanna actually do my job when it doesn’t involve moving around cargo.”
“Well then, shall we go greet Human and Tic-Tac then? I believe a thanks is in order.”
“We will stay here and notify you when we are clear of the system. Ensure Tic-Tac will not meddle with our systems again or he might find himself being the one jettisoned from an airlock.”
“Duly noted Zate, keep us on course and notify me of any updates.”
Lizra and Argall shed their environmental suits and made their way down into the cargo bay to see if Human was ok. When they arrived, there was a dent in the far wall, presumable from when they made the jump and Human wasn't properaly fastened in. He was wearing the small black box from the computer room on his back, and unlike before had a strange looking rifle in his hand.
“Ah that’s new, its a good look for you two. We’re not in space anymore so you don’t have to wear your suit around here when we're in transit.”
“I’m fine, thanks.” Human replied curtly.
Tic-Tac’s voice echoed from the black box attached to humans back, “Unfortunately he has no way of removing the suit here either way. We would have to construct the proper machines to remove it, as I do not believe they are present in this… galaxy." Tic-Tac said searching for the proper word. "But he hasn’t been out of it in a very long time, I assure you it’s not a burden to him.”
“Right, well thank you for saving us back there. So did you… um kill them all?”
“No, we merely disabled their systems on the bridge. They’re going to be stuck there for quite a while until someone can give them a ride. We have decided to accompany you to the nearest port where we can acquire our own ship and then we shall be on our way.” Tic-Tac responded.
“Wait wait wait, we went through all the trouble of getting you out of there, helped you bring Human back, and now you want to leave us already?”
“We have no desire to get involved in another conflict after having it be our sole purpose for as long as we can remember. I hope you can understand why we wish to make our own choices now.”
“Okay hold on, we helped you get off the base, and helped you wake up Human. So maybe you could at least come with us back home and hear us out. From someone a little more charismatic than myself.”
“Very well, how long until we arrive?”
“Um, maybe a week?”
“Terrific. Well maybe we can pass the time by telling me how you came to learn of us, and more about who you’re fighting. I only speak for myself saying I would love to know more. It really has been a long time since I’ve had a good conversation with someone that's not a part of myself.”
“Of course, here let me show you to the common room, you two can stay there until we make a stop.” Lizra led them to a large room in the center of the ship, adorned with various different chairs for the different species on board. She took the seat that was present for her, a round flat bed where she was able to curl up and use her long tail as a pillow. Human took off the black box that was Tic-tac and dropped it onto the table in the middle.
“Enjoy.” He spoke before leaving the room. Argall followed closely behind Human and Lizra only picked up the beginning of his sentence, asking about how he was able to break into the ship like that.
“Is he always this… charming?”
“He isn’t the nicest, you don't have to sidestep it. We have been through a lot. I’d like to tell you more, but I do not want to make him any angrier with me than he already is. He’s been through more than I could possibly begin to explain.
“Well I hope he ends up doing better. Maybe we can find a beach for him when we make a stop, I remember him mentioning that.”
“I’m sure he would appreciate that.”
“You know, I have been thinking about something rather peculiar he said to me when we were in your computer room.”
“And what might that be?”
“He apologized to me, but he hadn’t done anything that warranted an apology at the time.”
Tic-Tac was silent for a moment before speaking, “He has been trapped in his own head for quite some time. I would not dwell on anything strange he says. 909 is a man of few words, and does not come from a world that places social interactions in their list of their priorities.”
Lizra was quiet for a moment, feeling as if there was more Tic-Tac had wanted to say but decided not to. Before she could press further, the black box spoke again. “So, who is this Core you mentioned back there?”
“Oh my where to begin with that one. I guess my own species’ story would be a good place to start. About 1000 years ago we were nearly brought to complete extinction…”

I’m a junior executive in a big city, where the skyline is a mix of ancient churches and glass towers. My life revolves around tight schedules, endless meetings, and the constant pressure to climb the corporate ladder. Faith, for me, had become more of an afterthought—a relic of my childhood Sundays.
One winter evening, after another grueling day at work, I found myself rushing to catch the last subway train home. The city was unusually quiet, snowflakes swirling in the glow of street lamps, transforming the cityscape into a serene, almost magical scene.
As I neared the subway entrance on Fifth Avenue, I saw a man huddled against the cold, wrapped in a thin, tattered blanket. He looked up as I passed, his eyes filled with a profound sadness and desperation that stopped me in my tracks. Despite my exhaustion, something inside urged me to help him. I hesitated only for a moment before I approached him.
"Are you alright?" I asked, my voice gentle but filled with concern.
He shook his head, his eyes welling up with tears. "I haven't eaten in days," he murmured. "And I don't know where to go."
I felt a pang of guilt and compassion. Without thinking, I took him to the nearest diner, bought him a hot meal, and sat with him as he ate. His name was Thomas, and his story was one of unfortunate events—a lost job, a broken family, and a series of hardships that had left him homeless.
As we talked, I lost track of time. I didn’t realize how late it was until the diner began to close. I offered to help him find a shelter, but the streets were almost deserted, and the shelters were all full for the night.
Desperate to find a solution, I decided to take Thomas to a small church a few blocks away. It was a place I remembered from my childhood, a sanctuary I hoped might still offer refuge. We arrived at the church, and to my relief, the door was unlocked. We stepped inside, greeted by the warmth and the faint smell of incense.
Father Michael, the aging priest, greeted us with a kind smile. He listened to Thomas's story and offered him a room for the night, promising to help him find more permanent assistance in the morning. Relieved, I said my goodbyes and headed home, feeling a deep sense of peace.
The next morning, I was woken by the sound of my phone ringing incessantly. It was my colleague, frantically asking if I was alright. Confused, I turned on the news to see footage of a horrific accident—a subway train had derailed late last night on the line I usually took home. There were several casualties, and I realized with a shiver that I would have been on that train if I hadn’t stopped to help Thomas.
Stunned, I sat down, my mind racing. The urge to help Thomas, the unlocked church door, and the timing of the accident—it all seemed too coincidental. I visited the church later that day, needing to see Thomas and to speak with Father Michael.
When I arrived, Father Michael greeted me warmly. "Thomas is doing well," he said. "He's getting the help he needs."
I told Father Michael about the subway accident and how I felt an inexplicable pull to help Thomas, which ultimately saved my life. He listened quietly, a knowing look in his eyes.
"Sometimes," he said softly, "we are guided by forces beyond our understanding. Your act of kindness was a blessing for both you and Thomas."
I nodded, tears in my eyes. From that day on, my faith was rekindled. I realized that miracles don’t always come as grand gestures but often as small, seemingly insignificant acts of compassion that ripple outwards in ways we can't always see. My encounter with Thomas on that snowy night had changed my life, reminding me of the power of kindness and the mysterious ways in which we are all connected.

The bright yellow terror

‘’Every now and then I would stare at the murky brown water below and see several small glimpses of bright yellow popping up from and then retreating down below the surface in rhythmic fashion. Like a dance routine. Bright deadly yellow. The rotting sweet stench of death still lodged in my nostrils.’’
I had happened upon these diary pages by mistake when I was digging through old boxes in my basement. My wife had insisted, finally, that I sort out and get rid of everything I didn’t need. Now here I was, confronted with a part of my past I had tried to suppress unsuccessfully for so many years. 24 years to be exact. 24 odd years of trying to understand what exactly happened in those days when I was trapped on a rooftop in Phuket during a deadly and disastrous natural catastrophe.
24 odd years of having to dodge around questions of my abject and unwavering fear of the ocean. Well, in truth, I guess being caught in a large tsunami and witnessing immense destructive forces of nature coming directly from the great wide ocean would be a fair excuse, but it was only half the truth. It wasn’t just the waves themselves that had terrified me.
Until now, I thought the water damaged remains of the diary I kept back then was lost. I even hoped it was. I never shared this story with anyone. Partly because the horror was too fresh in my memory back then and I wanted to focus on moving on with my life and by the time I felt my mind was stabilized I had no real interest in returning to that dark part of my past. Partly because the right words always escaped me.
Mostly because I was afraid people would think I was insane. I can no longer contain this, however. I need an outlet. I spend years running from it. But I guess I can’t lie to myself anymore. Someone once told me that writing can be therapeutic. Simply putting your thoughts down on paper, or in our times, more likely in word document, can help you compartmentalize trauma. So, I’m giving it a try. I can’t pretend the events of those days in Phuket didn’t cast a shadow over everything in my life that came after.
I often think of the beach days I missed with my son when he was a boy. Days where I should’ve done dad stuff. Thrown him into the ocean. Watched him laugh his little face of as he braved the waves. Helped him build sandcastles. Gone exploring along the sandy shores in search of beached treasure in the form little rocks and the odd piece of amber. I just couldn’t. Initially I had objected to the idea of him going at all. Naturally, my wife would hear none of that and I realized reluctantly, that my fear and trauma should not rule my son’s life. Instead, my wife would go, and I would always stay home. She understood, to some degree, what I had gone through and where my fear came from.
Only to some degree. My son did not, and I fear he resented my absence on those perfect sunny days, despite my efforts to make up for it with other activities. Both he and my wife certainly noticed how closed off I was about certain parts of my past. Secrets untold, especially those who are grounded in trauma, almost inevitably turns to toxic in our systems. I’m finally ready. I just hope it isn’t too late.
I won’t lie. I’ve always had a vivid imagination although I have never had trouble distinguishing between what is real and what is not. At least until my sense of reality was forever challenged. I know these things happened to me. I know what I saw and what I experienced was real. I just don’t have a truly rational explanation for it. Yet, I swear, there was something in the water that came with that tsunami. Something deeply, deeply unnatural. Something brightly and oddly yellow. I had no other word for it than the bright yellow terror.
I had travelled to Thailand, more precisely Bangkok late December 2000. 19 years old about to turn 20. I was on one of those infamous and increasingly popular self-discovery trips. I had caught the fever. Like so many other young hopeful adventurers at the time I had seen The Beach. I had read into the wild by Jon Krakauer.
I watched Dicaprio walk the sandy shores of paradise and read on in excitement and awe as Christopher McCandles set out to become one with nature and discover himself. Kill the false being within and all that. In simple terms, I thought I’d try and find my own slice of heaven on earth. Expand my horizon. Get to know some new people. Learn something about myself in the process perhaps. I wasn’t exactly fleeing from anything, that wasn’t it. I had a loving although cuddling and overprotective family. Especially my mom would worry about me constantly (and still does).
Yes, I admit it. My parents had paved the way for me at almost every step. Made sure I got into the right schools. Made sure I never needed for money. I guess I got tired of feeling dependent on them. I stopped taking their money and saved up for the trip myself. It was time I stepped up. It was time I threw myself into the world to see what would happen. Hell of a time and place I picked for that.
The following story is based on the surviving pages of the diary I kept during the time and my own memory.
Bangkok 23rd December 2000. 4 days before the tsunami.
‘’My first day in Bangkok. Quite overwhelming but in a nice way. No one here to save me. No one here to tell me what to do. Thailand is hot and humid and there’s something in the air. I think it’s adventure. I think it’s limitless opportunity. I met a monkey in a diaper and got thoroughly beaten and lost 100 bath in a game of connect four by some 10-year-old kid. Got scammed as well though, I will have to wise up and learn the ropes. Avoid the yellow taxis. Go for the Tuk Tuks. Well, lesson learned. I met a guy who told me all kinds of terrifying things about Australia. Robert. I’m meeting him in Phuket a couple of days from now.’’
You could probably imagine the excitement bubbling within me. For the first time on my own. 19 years old. Prime of my life. In a strangely new and exotic city. Possibilities seemed endless. I still remember vividly driving off with the wind in my hair in a tuk-tuk as Bangkok unfolded before me with all its oriental mysticism and surrounding cityscapes. To be fair, I had never even seen an honest to god palm tree before as they simply couldn’t grow in the northern climate I was from.
I got myself stationed in a decent guesthouse around Khaosan Road. Everywhere I looked it seems others had gotten the same idea as me. Backpackers littered the streets and in a strange way, I felt at home amidst this quiet chaos, amidst the crowds of hopefully likeminded explorers, far, far away from home. The humidity was hitting me though, it was something I would have to get used to. It felt like a wet hot invisible blanket. Khaosan Road was perfect for me. A meeting place for young backpackers, with tons of opportunities to plan further travels. I did after all, not plan on staying in Bangkok for too long. It was just a stepping point to other adventures.
It was still early, and the humidity was clammy as hell. I was in the mood to socialize and with no real plans I simply ventured out into the streets of Bangkok, circling around the area where my guesthouse was located. It wasn’t long before the first opportunity presented itself in the form of a taxi driver calling me over. He offered to take me on a tour of the city. Foolish and naïve as I was, I indulged him. I remember how the cab driver lit up a doobie, joint, spliff, devil’s lettuce whatever you want to call it.
You know it as soon as you breathe in the air. Don’t get me wrong, I smoked myself, but letting a clearly high person drive me around the busy Bangkok traffic did not seem like a good idea. I should probably have asked to be let out that very moment, but as the kind of timid, shy type of person I was plus the desire to just go along with whatever happened come what may made me stay. Unsurprisingly I was eventually led to a store, fitted for a suit a didn’t want, and then subsequently charged an obscene amount for the cab ride. I didn’t have the courage to refuse his unreasonable demand. Noteworthy mention. That same night I heard from a fellow traveler that just recently someone had been stabbed in an argument with a cab driver. I didn’t let it get me down or drive me off course, because as you’ve probably gathered by now, I didn’t have a course.
As day turned to night and when the sun’s rays slowly disappeared behind the rooftops of Bangkok, the city itself began to transform. As if a part of it which had laid dormant, hidden away from the light, started to emerge.
Neon lights advertising different bars, people making all kinds of promises of untold pleasures and sensations. Tourists ready to party. All now filled the streets. Some seemed all too aware of what they were looking for, others simply drifted around aimlessly, in search of something unknown, something to spice up their existence. I found a small seemingly cool place called The Hangover. I swear to god, I wish to this day I hadn’t. Maybe then I wouldn’t have set my course for Phuket. In any case, I went in and pushed myself through the crowds of rowdy and loud tourists and up the bar where I ordered a Pina Colada. Please don’t judge me. I just really like coconuts and the song is pretty good as well. Standing at the crowded bar and looking around, hoping something interesting would catch my eye. But most of all, I was hoping someone would just take the first step and come talk to me.
Someone did. His name was Robert, and he was from Australia. A tall skinny and no-nonsense older guy who seemed quite experienced with all things Thailand. He eventually invited me down to his group of friends at the far back end of the bar. Robert spared no time telling me about himself. He had worked all kinds of jobs, in all kinds of places. Most recently he had worked as a guide in Phuket. Among other things he had arranged rock climbing expeditions. I probably forgot to mention, I was big into rock climbing and generally all kinds of outdoor activities back then.
I already had quite the climbing experience despite my young age. As Robert talked about all the places he’d been, he made me feel like the novice I was. That was never his intention though, as I quickly learned. He wasn’t a bragger. He just knew what he was talking about and when he laughed, he did it with his entire face and in a way that made you laugh with him and feel comfortable.
Eventually the conversation naturally gravitated towards Australia. A place I had always wanted to visit. He looked at me for a second, as if to contemplate something. Then told me to watch out for locals trying to play pranks on me. I was naturally interested in hearing more and that’s when he told me about drop bears. Supposedly drop bears are carnivorous versions of Koalas residing in trees to then drop down on unsuspecting victims and viciously attack them. We laughed quite a lot, and I admitted I would probably have believed the stories as I was a fairly naive person and the idea of hostile subspecies of koalas didn’t seem that farfetched to me. It would be typical of past me to get punked around like that. Our conversation then shifted towards Australian wildlife and fauna and the horrors residing within its diverse and complicated eco system. He told me about a plant not uncommonly referred to as the suicide plant. Dendrocnide moroides or more commonly known as stinging tree, stinging bush or gympie gympie apparently has such a nasty and painful sting it made a man commit suicide simply to escape the pain. Another dangerous inhabitant was the box jellyfish he explained.
Their sting was about as deadly as it gets. A single sting to a human will cause necrosis of the skin, excruciating pain and, if the dose of venom is large enough, cardiac arrest and death within minutes. I have always found jellyfish equal parts fascinating and equal parts frightening. Beautiful but deadly creatures. In fact, the ocean, in all its grand wide-reaching glory had always horrified me to some extent. So much unexplored space. Who truly knows what could be lurking down there? Robert quickly assured me, that as long as you take your precaution the likelihood of getting stung by a box jellyfish was rather small. They had signs up warning people against them. Generally, do not ignore these signs. They are there for a good reason.
It was getting late and before we said our goodbyes Robert suggested I meet him in Phuket, more precisely in the Khao Lak area on the 28^th as that was the first day he would be able to. I thought why not? He seemed genuinely nice and knowledgeable. Just good company all around and he promised to show me the greatest climbing spots a bit away from the crowded tours. It was a start.
I would never meet Robert again. I don’t know what happened to him. Thinking back on those days leading up to the point the waves came crashing down always gives me an uneasy, sad, and melancholic feeling. The people I met in Bangkok talking about going south. Those I met in Phuket before it happened. I have no idea if they ended up as corpses floating through the murky brown waters or god forbid, victims of that unholy terror from the deep. I hope Robert wasn’t among those unfortunate souls who died or went… ‘’Missing’’. Although if I must pick one or the other. I would hope he died quickly.
Bangkok 24^th of December 2000. 3 days before the tsunami.
I woke up with a slight hangover. Christmas is commonly celebrated on this date in my country, so I was expecting some calls to go through on my brick sized Nokia at some point once all the good folks back home woke up. They were about 5 hours behind me and at 9 AM Bangkok time they would still be sleeping. I used the time to do some shopping before my trip to Phuket. I got plenty of rope, a couple of snap hooks and a harness. I knew they’d have all of this on the guided tours, but I liked to find my own spots to climb, and I had good sense and knowledge enough to not attempt anything too daring. By the way. For those uninitiated, snap hooks are used to make a quick, reversible connection on a system of ropes, or to connect a rope or cord to another component, like a lanyard medallion or barrier post. Essential if you want to go climbing. If you’ve ever gone ziplining it’s the thing that connects you safely to the zipline and lets you slight across.
After having done my shopping, I bought a bus ticket to Phuket intending on leaving that same night and went back to my hotel room. As exciting as Bangkok was, I felt it was more for people intend on partying and in all honesty, a bit too crowded for me. I was excited to move on and I could always come back if I wanted to. On my way into the reception area, I was stopped by a young hip looking dude looking for a cigarette. Now I don’t necessarily consider myself a perfect judge of character, but he had an easy-going way about him that immediately drew me in. Sometimes, you can just tell.
He had sort of a rugged look about him. Dirty blond half-long hair. His face I would best describe as boyish but something in his eyes betrayed him and revealed his age to be older than you would assume. His style was… Boheme I guess I would describe it as. Like something taken out of the 70s LA scene. I’m not a smoker. Never was. So, I couldn’t help him on that front. It didn’t matter he would find someone else he said. For a while we just casually talked. Apparently, he had come to Bangkok just a few days prior and seemed about as lost and without direction as I had been before deciding on taking my chances in Phuket. Alex was his name, and he would later save my life and help me understand what it means to forge a quick and unbreakable connection through shared trauma, but I’m getting ahead of myself.
He asked me if I wanted to go somewhere and get a beer. I thought why not? He was about my age and on his own as well. I told him I had to go make some calls and I’d be out in about an hour. Back the hotel room I quickly gathered all my stuff and packed it up, so it was ready to go. My climbing gear took up the most space. I figured if things went well with Alex, I might be able to persuade him in joining me at some point in Phuket. Even though I had set out for this trip to be about discovering myself and being on my own, I longed for some kind of company. Don’t we all? I called my parents up and we wished each other a happy Christmas. It was odd to think they were somewhere nearly half-way across the world celebrating Christmas while snow draped the landscapes there. Here I was, In hot and humid paradise. No, I did not miss the cold or the snow, but I did miss not being there to celebrate the holidays with my family. But it had been my choice to go during the holiday season and I did not regret it. I had saved up enough money and there was no point in waiting anymore. There would be many other holidays to celebrate in the future.
My 5-year-old nephew somehow got a hold of the phone. Not quite the conversationalist yet, it still felt good to hear his voice. Hearing his excitement over the prospect of celebrating Christmas brought me back to my own childhood. Decorating the Christmas tree, watching holiday cartoons and of course, opening presents. I finished my calls and went out to see if Alex was ready. He was already waiting for me and had apparently managed to score some cigarettes in the meantime. He had changed his outfit as well. Now wearing a faded black doors t-shirt. We talked a bit about Jim Morrison and the doors as we headed off down streets. We passed a myriad of small stands selling everything from electronics to colorful t-shirts and small bracelets with campy misspelled English catchphrases. We dodged the many intrusive offers and eventually found a small comfy looking bar with seats outside shaded by palm trees. We ordered a couple of beers and the conversation started flowing along quite nicely. Alex was 25 and from London It turned out. We also had a common interest in music. For a while he had busked as a street musician while working odd jobs here and there and had eventually decided to travel the world.
His first stop had been India where for a while he had lived on the rooftop of some abandoned building while attempting to learn the art of playing the sitar. I thought about that for a second. Living it rough on some rooftop in India. I don’t know why that idea intrigued me so much. Seemed like freedom to me, I guess. Sleeping under the wide-open skies. Looking down on the streets and watching people go about their lives. I guess I just liked the idea of doing something that seemed different from what I had ever done before. Living on a rooftop, if even just for a while, was definitely not something I had done before. There was the view as well, Alex reminded me. And it was free of course. We drifted off into long conversations about music I won’t bore you too much with, only to let you know we shared a passion for old school music like the doors and Jimi Hendrix as well as 90s shoegaze music like My Bloody Valentine, Ride and Slowdive. I had Slowdive’s Shine playing in my mind that day. All felt so dreamy at the time.
I eventually told Alex of my plans to go to Phuket and he was onboard almost immediately. I loved how easy it was here on the road. There was no ‘’well maybe’’, or ‘’let’s think about it.’’ In fact, Alex had been to Phuket before and knew of a place we could stay for free. Another rooftop of course, but he had already sold me on the idea. From there, we could plan our next step he said. ‘’our next step’’ I don’t remember vibing with someone that quickly before or since, but then I guess making friends is always easier when you’re young and easy going. I always seemed to attract good company without much effort back then. I chalk it down to my friendly and slightly shy demeanor. Seems it only becomes harder to make friends as the years pass though. At least for me it did.
We got a bus ticket for Alex and shopped a bit more. I got some first aid supplies. Bandages, plasters, that kind of stuff. Rock climbing is safe, mind you, but you can end up scraping yourself and I felt in general, being prepared for whatever might be a good idea if I was to live it rough on some rooftop. The bus-ride to Phuket took about 12 hours give or take. By going at night, we could sleep most of the way and be in Phuket early morning on the 25^th. The trip down was uneventful. We would take turns listening to music on Alex’s Walkman or talk about things we saw along the way. Like roadside bars and restaurants who were little more than a tin roof covering a few plastic chairs and brightly colored menu cards. Everything seemed simpler here, in the best ways possible.
No big flash, no fanfares or luxury. Nothing pretentious. Just a calm, laid back atmosphere and friendly smiles from the locals as we passed by. Alex told me he wanted to start a band blending elements of Shoegaze with classic rock and insisted I learn to play the drums as he had tried but found no luck. String instruments were more him he told me. I told him jokingly if he could come up with a good name, I might be down. He just nodded and looked out the window and started talking about how beef was a rare and more expensive ingredient in Thai cuisine, and I wondered about the sudden random change of subject. Although we had talked a lot during the short time we had known each other, Alex was still a mystery to me in many ways. Judging from all the things he told me he seemed like a person who dreamed big, but never really followed through
An unfinished education. Scribbles on pieces of paper that ended up gathering dust in his drawer instead of turning into a book. A band that never really took off because he lost interest or didn’t deem that it was good enough to get successful. He talked at length about leaving a legacy. It seemed to be something that concerned him. I guess he wanted to put his mark on the world. To be remembered. To live on in some small way. I had never really thought about it myself although I did have a fascination with historical people and the lives they lived. In fact, when I do read I mostly read biographies. I just never had any ambition like that myself. I don’t need the world to know my name, or sing my praises, or remember me. Good friends, family and a sense of freedom and adventure was enough. I had tried to ask Alex about his family and friends back home, but he seemed avoidant and always found a way to change the subject without really providing any meaningful information. At certain points, I sensed a carefully hidden sadness behind his otherwise optimistically youthful and bright blue gaze.
Phuket 25^th of December 2000. 2 days before the tsunami.
Alex woke me up. It was 9 AM and we had arrived at the Phuket bus terminal 1 near Phang Nga Road. We were here. Alex explained to me that the there were several derelict and abandoned buildings perfect for establishing a free of charge rooftop domicile in an area not too far from the resorts of Khao Lak. Phuket back then wasn’t exactly the overcrowded tourist spot it is today, but it was well on the way. I understood why. The scenery was beautiful. Long sandy beaches with small island dots in the horizon, begging to be explored. Giant limestone cliffs covered in green shrubs. It did seem like paradise to me, without being too far away from civilization. I guess despite my adventurous nature, I wasn’t quite ready at that point, to walk into the wild, which is why Khao Lak seemed perfect as a start for me.
We found the area Alex had talked about. Several derelict buildings were concentrated in a small area divided by a main street that if followed long enough, led to an area with shops and places to dine. We set our eyes on what looked like an abandoned apartment complex. It was derelict, rugged looking and it seemed clear at first that no one lived there. Its ghostly façade begged us inside to explore and we accepted the invitation. As we made our way in, through a busted window in the back, we quickly became aware that the place might not be as abandoned as we had initially thought. Several signs of squatters such as cooking utensils and sleeping mats lay scattered here and there. Alex quickly rationalized that it could just be other backpackers, or it could be the people had moved on. I shrugged and we decided to make our way to the roof. We made our way to the top floor and accessed a broken-down door that led directly out onto the roof. I must admit, besides excitement, I was somewhat hesitant. Any doubt I had disappeared when we first stepped onto the rooftop terrace. It was perfect. It seemed it had functioned as a balcony or space of sorts the inhabitants could make use of for gatherings.
The entire space was surrounded by a fence. Several palm trees shaded the northwest corner which was perfect for when things got too hot. In the middle a small shed or janitorial sort of building stood. We found some cleaning materials, brooms, some parasols in there as well as an old rusty grill. The view was great. We could see the large beachfront in the far distance surrounded by limestones. After inspecting the area and finding it to our liking we sat down, and Alex broke out a bottle of whiskey. Unaware of the horror that would later unfold here, we celebrated in the shade of the palm trees. We had found our place for a while. Our place.
After a while we decided to put some money in the local economy and shop for supplies.
Essentials: Water. Cigarettes. Booze. The devil’s lettuce. Cooking utensils. Although none of us was admittedly any much of a cook. But what the hell. Can’t be seen dining out every night when we were trying to live off the fat of the land so to speak. I know, ridiculous. We were squatters. Nothing more. But heck, we would move on if we became a problem for any one here. We weren’t trying to be a bother.
Optional but greatly wanted: A blow-up animal mascot. Maybe a dolphin if possible. Some new music for Alex’s walk-man. A guitar. Decorating artifacts of any kind to make our domicile more personal.
We more or less got everything we needed and started setting up base. Getting our hands on something funny to smoke proved the biggest challenge but Alex finally succeeded at a beachfront bar. Some friendly Norwegian dude who had connections apparently. He warned us against being too open about doing drugs, even if was ‘’just’’ marijuana. Thailand had a strict approach to drugs. We thanked him and he told us to just come back here at the bar if we needed more, he was usually around.
Afternoon was rolling around and there we were. Sitting atop Phuket. On our very own rooftop presidential suite. We decorated the place with a few things we found. Among them ‘’Arthur’’ our blow-up shark (they had no dolphins). Alex had come up with the name, I asked him why ‘’Arthur’’ but in what I had quickly come to know as typical Alex fashion he just shrugged it off. We just smoked a bit and drank some booze as the evening progressed and I told Alex about Robert and Australia and all the nasty things that could kill you there. I’m not sure why, but it had made an impression on me. Insects, rare poisonous creatures, stuff like that was nightmare fuel for me. Don’t even get me started on spiders. Alex was a bit more laid back on that front. He seemed most amused and interested in the suicide plant and wondered if some poor soul had ever mistakenly used it as toilet paper and we had a good hard chuckle over that idea. Poor soul indeed.
As night rolled on stars started popping up on a clear night the sky and I learned that Alex had a fascination with the universe. Particularly the idea of multiverses and infinite universes. What if somewhere out there we were looking back at ourselves. Slightly different but still us. Sometimes it seemed to me he longed to be anywhere else but where he was. Maybe trapped in the past he was so reluctant to share with me. Then we started talking about time. I don’t exactly remember why. I think he brought it up.
Anyway, Alex had a lot to say about time. Like how he believed our perception of time is tied to our experiences. For example, someone who spends their life not stepping up, not really taking risks or chances, just following along the stream, just following the routine, in essence, just killing time, might experience time as having moved fast when they look back, because there are simply less variety, less volume, less memories to look back on. We don’t remember routines, we remember breaking them, we remember doing new things, meeting new people, being in new places. It creates the illusion that gives time volume, that makes it seem fuller, longer. I liked that idea a lot. It made sense to me. Make sure you live life to the fullest and waste as little time as possible.
I told him about my 10^th grade math teacher and how he said something about time I will never forget. Our perception of time can be measured mathematically. For example, to a 4-year-old turning 5 the transition of a year will seem much longer than it will to a 24-year-old turning 25. Because 1 in 5 is a larger fraction than 1 in 25. It blew my mind. The longer you live, the faster time seem to pass. But I agreed with him, maybe the quality and variety of the life you live and the memories you make has an affect too. Alex made a ‘’boom’’ motion with his hands around his head and laughed. We were quite stoned at that point and well, some of you might know how being stoned sometimes throws you into these philosophical conversations. It was nice. I enjoyed the ease with which I could talk to Alex about all kinds of things.
At one point I asked him a hypothetical. If he could go back in time and change just one thing, what would he do. He fell silent. I once again sensed the sadness creeping behind his eyes. It was if he was about to answer, like he was sizing me up but then shot the idea down. Time travel is impossible, so why bother was his only response and I accepted that whatever troubled him in the past, was not for me to know even if my interest only grew stronger and stronger.
I told him about my family. My overprotective mother. My father and his desperate attempts to get me interested in cars. About my older sister and my nephew. Alex nodded and asked the usual polite questions. When the subject came to my little brother his interest seemed to spark significantly. How old was he? Was I good older brother? Did I look out for him? I didn’t think much about it at the time other than finding it curious how interested he seemed to be. When we finally settled in the for night, under the starry sky, I slipped into a nightmare. It was the same I had had years earlier when I was 16. Back then I was having a hard time adjusting to the new school I had started at and maybe because of that stress I was having nightmares coupled with sleep paralysis.
I would lie in my bed, paralyzed. On my side, facing the door to my room. I often had the light on outside of the room and it would shine in through the open door. This one time , I saw dark figure approaching. Optimistically I assumed it was my mom, coming to wake me up. Although as the dark figure approached, I quickly realized this wasn’t so. No words were uttered. The eerie figure just slowly came closer, until it was right by my bed side. It sat down and I realized it was an old woman or man. It was hard to tell, because its face was literally just a mish mash of wrinkled flesh. No eyes and no mouth either. But it mumbled through its mouthless face. Speaking in tongues.
I spent some considerable time afterwards wondering what it could have been trying to communicate to me. I know of course, this was all just my mind playing tricks on me. Yet, that experience was, I suppose, my first nudge towards believing there’s more between heaven and earth than we might know. It seemed aggressive in any case. My insides were screaming as I desperately tried to wiggle myself awake as I had sometimes successfully done during paralysis. I eventually woke up. Drenched in sweat. Back then though, I had actually been in my room, and in the dream the room had stood clearly for me as it actually looked in reality which only made it seem more real. This time, I woke up next to Alex, still drenched in sweat. Alex had woken up. I had screamed in my sleep apparently. He comforted me in an almost brotherly show of affection. It took me by surprise a bit. I appreciated it, though it only made me wonder about him even more. I would have to solve the mystery behind Alex I decided. I would have to truly gain his trust. Figure him out. And I did.
Phuket 26^th of December 2000. 1 day before the tsunami.
‘’Alex played the guitar a bit and I drummed up some beats. It needed some work, but not half bad. We came up with a name for our band to be as well. Subway sleepers. Based on Alex’s time sleeping in the subway of London. It was another hot perfect day on the rooftop. We talked about going climbing the next day and I can’t wait to show Alex the joys of rock climbing. Everything is peaceful here. No stress. Just living life. Smoking it up. Meeting new people. We talked some more with that Norwegian weed dude and invited him and a couple of his friends up to ‘’our’’ place for a party. Another near perfect day.’’
Looking at these diary scribbles is making me feel it all over again. The serenity of those calm worriless summer days (well it was winter back home but it felt like summer here. Strange that) leading up to disaster. Always calmest before the storm they say. This was our last day before everything changed. Before I got a lesson in humanity. In stress under crisis. Before everything I thought I knew changed forever in the meeting with something that surely shouldn’t exist in this world.

1. Sarah - Machete plunged through the chest
2. Lisa - Thrown into the shower wall, skull cracked
3. Tom - Pulled underwater by the leg and drowned
4. David - Pinned inside the closet, axe slammed through the door, crushed
5. Ashley - Phone smashed against the head
6. Micheal - Dragged into the woods, never seen ever again
7. Chris - Machete buried deep into the back 8-9. Jessica and Amy - Crashed into a fallen tree, impaled by the shards of the windshield
8. Emily - Thrown into a tombstone, skull crushed 11-12. 2 Diner Workers - Stabbed to death
9. Sierra - Thrown into the wall, impaled with a fishing hook
10. Jason Voorhees - Pushed into a burning fire

I started my laundry in the small laundry room today and then closed the door (oblivious to the fact she had followed me in and was stuck). After like 20 minutes, I heard yowling coming from inside as the washer started its aggressive spin cycle.
She now refuses to go in the room (which she used to be obsessed with sneaking into), her tail puffs up when the door is open, and she isn’t acting normal since it happened earlier.
Any advice would be appreciated. I don’t want her to be scared in her home due to my mistake.

Hey guys, I have done everything I could. My girl Frankie is such a sweet baby, but the last couple days she’s been peeing (pooping too) on the floor in my bedroom door way. She is outside trained, knows exactly where the emergency puppy pad is if she needs to go in the middle of the night. I don’t understand and I have no idea what to do anymore. I have put her in “jail” right after this time… Given though, she was also given to me from my mother in January. My mother couldn’t take care of her anymore, I think it also had to do with major lack of training and I think the poor girl was coddled but neglected. Like, always attached to her hip but never taken outside or trained/told that inside is not okay. Help…

This script is completely ok to monetized or modified, just credit me if you do. I hope everyone is doing alright and I hope you enjoy my writing here.
Male speaker “Police still have no viable leads on the thief who has created the largest crime wave in recorded history. They still don’t know who the thief is, just that someone has come forward with a potential pattern to their “attacks.” They have asked to remain anonymous, more on this story as it develops.”
(Pause)
“I'm not a thief, I didn’t steal anything, I’m just always wearing a mask and a jumpsuit.”
(Pause)
“Surprised? I’ve been looking for you since this began and you happen to live on the floor below me.”
(Pause)
“I'm no thief but you- stop backing up or you're going to hit- now that you’re against the wall you won’t be going anywhere dove.”
(Pause)
“I did say I was looking for you, I’m amazed you were able to say that, because it looks like there’s a lot you're struggling to do right now.”
(Pause)
“No no no don’t look away, or I’ll just force you to look me in my eyes. There we are, and maybe try to soften your gaze you could probably hurt someone with a glare that strong.”
(Pause)
“Oh no not me, even though you clearly want me dead with your eyes, your blushing so much it’s gone down your neck under your collar. I wonder where it stops.”
(Pause)
“Your squirming face is adorable but really I’d have thought you’d noticed by now that there’s no hope of you getting away from me.”
(Pause)
“Still on that? yeah I know who you are and I have known for a few years now, a police officer told me not willingly or easily. You dove have quite the resúme, for such an innocent looking little girl it’s the powerful ones that get you isn’t it.”
(Pause)
“Deny it all you want, your body’s giving it away that I’m not only right but have also hit a nerve.”
(Pause)
“You’re so cute when you’re scared that me, the big bad thief figured you out in seconds, and by your expression no one else has ever done anything like this to you.”
(Pause)
“Good, I’d be a little jealous if any other women had gotten to see you like this, I am enjoying this, you could say this is why I was looking for you. Though if you get like this before I’ve even touched you it makes what you’ll look like when being pleasured something I can’t resist for much longer.”
(Pause)
“That got your attention, don’t tell me you're new to this. I would’ve thought you’d be part of a love triangle with the way your co-workers look at you.”
(Pause)
“Still trying to break free? Dove even if you defy all odds and overpower me, you must know I’m smarter than I look. I slipped in here and you didn’t notice even though you’ve been after me for what it feels like forever.”
(Pause)
“Oh of course several people thought they knew where I’d appear next but they were always wrong. Except for you, you tracked me down and almost caught me.”
(Pause)
Speaker laughs “you think I’m here to take revenge? I am not a vengeful woman, just prideful and I don’t take kindly to almost getting caught.”
(Pause)
“Though if you were the one to do it, I don’t think I’d be as opposed to the straight jacket and handcuffs as I usually am.”
(Pause)
“You know I said I never stole anything, but I think you have something you shouldn’t.”
(Pause)
“You can stop squirming, I know your police friends are right outside preparing to kick the door down. Here's the thing, when they break in this apartment will be as empty as it usually is.”
(Pause)
“No I don’t think you get to go inside my apartment… yet… I won't tell you where we’re going, can't have you knowing where my hideout is I know how resourceful you can be. Almost caught me red handed several times. Though I can think of a few other things you might want my hands to be doing instead. Oh dove, your blush has reached your ears, try to relax while I…”
(Sound of a door being forced open)
(Pause)
“Oh dove, awake just on time. Welcome to my hideout, no one will interrupt us here.”
(Pause)
“I would never take advantage of an unconscious woman, I have pride to protect. Yeah it is probably bad for a thief like me to get stumbled on morals and pride like that. And even though you're still fully clothed, you weren't in my head.
(Pause)
“Have you been flirted with when they didn't mean it? Well dove I do, I hope you can keep up with me.”
(Pause)
“You're stammering now, even when I had you against a wall you could string a sentence together. Is having someone like me so close more than your mind can handle. (Speak whispers) “It's going to happen more now so get your tongue back in working order please.”
(Pause)
“Your right I do enjoy doing that to you, you tense up at the slightest brush of your hair, are you one of those girls who acts innocent and is secretly into some unholy things in the bedroom.”
(Pause)
“Wouldn't surprise me, you would have to be a little twisted somewhere to almost catch me, and no you're still not getting away from me.”
(Pause)
“Why would I tie you down, I know you'd get out the second I looked away. Or is that what you're into, or are you just trying to get me off of you?”
(Pause)
“Give me those hands, stop trying to hide your face when you blush, I know I said I am a woman of honor but if you try to hide something like that from me… well I'm sure your mind can fill in the blank.”
(Pause)
“Yep I’ve been looking for you, since the first time you Investigated a crime scene I caused. Culprit always returns to scene of the crime, I was disguised so you probably didn’t know something was happening.”
(Pause)
“I knew immediately you were on my trail more than any of the police officers or city authorized investigators. And I didn’t want to let you roam, you’d eventually catch me so I was going to just take you, still can’t believe you lived one floor below me.”
(Pause)
“No one knew it was me, a mask, remember? And even if someone knew I was the one behind it they couldn't connect me to you going missing, or even know that I have a second home so to speak.”
(Pause)
“”No one is going to find you, this place is hidden and no one else knows who I am. So I’m afrai- actually I’m not afraid or upset but your mine now dove and your not leaving anytime soon.”

In the eighties, my aunt moved to Berlin from a small town in the Northwest. I went to see her with Mom after Dad had left us.
Mom’s sister lived in a housing block. It was awesome. The apartment was on the 14th floor. The houses I’d set foot into until then had had two stories. At most.
I got along with most of the block kids. Many of them were brown-skinned and black-haired unlike anybody in my school. We were playing soccer with a tennis ball when I had to pee. I said I’d be back. Ayşe said cool but don’t use the elevator to go up.
I asked why not.
Ayşe said a junkie named Martin had overdosed in there and was now haunting it. I said sure and grinned, too proud to admit I had no idea what a junkie was.
Ayşe said if you go for more than a few floors, you smell Martin’s pissed pants at some point. Your turn around then he’ll be standing right behind you. I said it smells of pee in there anyway.
So I went into the house and toward the elevator. I felt Ayşe‘s and the other kids‘ eyes piercing my back from the entrance. If I‘d taken the stairs then, they‘d have made fun of me for the rest of my stay. That was almost a week. As good as eternal torment when you’re seven.
I waved at Ayşe as the elevator door closed. The house wasn’t new and neither was the elevator. The cabin made sounds like a very old person, only as a machine. Two, three, four, five. Everything fine. Six, seven, eight, nine. Sounds got worse. Ten, eleven. The stop was so sudden I stumbled and fell.
I got up and pressed fourteen again and again. Nothing. It got stuck! I switched to the emergency button. Behind me, I heard breathing. I didn’t dare to turn around. I smelled peed pants. Still I pressed the emergency button. Nobody answered.
“Again?“ a voice asked. I screamed and turned around. Martin looked haggard, unwashed and pale. Sunken eyes.
“Leave me alone!“ I cried. “Leave me alone!“ he mocked me. His teeth lay in ruins.
I turned around to push the button again. It had changed colors. The whole inside of the elevator suddenly looked different. I thought I was going insane from fear.
The door opened and there was a girl, a woman …
„Ayşe?“
She spoke into some little thing like it was a phone, told it how after all this time, the elevator was still giving her the creeps. Then she went for the stairs.
“You’re so annoying when you forget,“ Martin said. “It had nothing to do with me, it was this pile of shit plus property management saving too much for too long on maintenance. Down you went, eleven stories. And here we are, you and I. Care for a shot?“
I shook my head, eyes fixed on the stairs.

I live in Boston and, in February this year, an Uber driver drove off while I was trying to open the car's door. He charged a cancellation fee after. Two weeks ago, same thing, the driver almost ran over my foot. He drove off because it was hard for him to open the door. I couldn't do it, he tried from inside, and since he also couldn't, he drove off and almost ran over me. When I looked at the app, the info about this 2nd driver had immediately disappeared, but was charged for the whole trip.
Last week, two drivers miraculously arrived less than 1 minute after the app found them. And both of them canceled the trip within 40 seconds. I was charged for the whole trip by one of them. The other one charged me a cancelation fee. But, again, the info about the guy who charged me the whole trip, disappeared from the app. The charge, however, could be seen on my bank account.
On top of all of this, I was also charged $4.90. I have no idea what this charge is for. I called their safety concern line - because they don't have a costumer service number. I was instructed to ask for help through message. But they use a bot to answer. The bot send me the "cancelation fee police" twice after I texted about the issues.
To make it clear, I live in North Cambridge.
I'm intrigued about all of this. I'm suddenly having so much bad luck. Does anyone is also experiencing this? Are all uber drivers in Boston jerks? Or it is just bad lucK?

Viscera Sadi. From birth she was dealt a losing hand. Her father ran not long after her inception, her mother passed at her birth, thus leaving only one place for her to belong, night city’s child care services. Every other day the broken televisions played adds for elections for this or for that, all promising to fix the system for children and more. It never came. Every day she waited for the day that she’d be adopted to a loving pair. It never came. She tried for atleast a single friend, yet they never came. When the orphanage was hit by a stray shell in the middle of a police and maelstrom chase, the room next to her and herself took the bulk of its blast. Two children lost their lives, and viscera lost her arm and a leg. But her loss was exploited by the new standing mayor nearly immediately. “This is what we do for our city’s children and inflicted” he declared on live television, while viscera sported her new fully chrome left arm and right leg. The city supplied her with meds for the pain, for around six months, after that it became painfully clear, both physically and mentally that the city didn’t care for her or anyone. But with that pain in her body came clarity, the chrome was her freind, the only one she’d ever have. After numerous outbursts, she was given a temporary Hail Mary but by someone she’d have never expected, one of the orphanage attendant’s. She was pulled aside after an outburst whitch would have ended with the death of a young boy after he refers to her as a ‘chromie’. The attendant reatched into there pocket and pulled out what looked to be an air hypo inhaler. “It’s called glitter kid, and you might need it more than I do” they had remarked. “Glitter…” she said, before taking a deep inhale. At that moment, came a sense of clarity and peace that she hadn’t known in her entire life. “None of them matter” she mumbled. “Only, I matter. Everything’s going to be ok”. Her mind swam with thoughts, each one bringing her closer and closer to the most coherent thought she had ever had. “I. I am Viscera Sadi, my chrome dosnt make me different, it makes me better!” Her young mind rose to a shrill shout. “I’m better than all of you!” Reverberated in her mind. Her clarity was driven by self infatuation and a sence of perfection in her self. So at the ripe age of fifteen, she ran from the orphanage before she’d age out in three years. She joined into the first gang that would take her and went with it all from there. The gangs were her associates, the chrome her family. It didn’t take long, black market chrome was slotted at every chance she had. The daily drugs took there toll, but eventually she didn’t use them anymore. The occasional black out wasn’t so bad. After all, it meant saving Eddie’s. The days turned to years that she slaved away behind other bosses till the day she was laying down in her make shift home. She was capable of so mutch more, she could take on everyone with the right info or chrome. “They owe me, every last one of them” her youthful self infatuation became clear. It wasn’t that she thought she was better than everyone, she simply wanted what was owed to her. She was dealt losing hand, so she would draw them again and hope she won this time. She stared out the shattered hole in the wall that once was a window. The stars in the sky, even those would be hers one day. She knew there trade, she knew there routes, she knew everything down to the smallest of details. To make the Eddie’s that that the city owed her, viscera would have to do something drastic. But with a breath of air and raised clenched fist, she swore that the would pay her back what she had lost.
Hello all! My names Vi, I’m twenty six years old and have been roleplaying for around six of those years. I mainly base my roleplays around romance, action and drama with little bits of horror here and there. I’m looking to do a cyberpunk roleplay today! Though all details after what I already Mentioned are up for change, I do have an idea as to how this could be set up. One thought I had is that Visceras first act would be to break into a police lock up for easy turn around on the items inside where she meets a police office trying to stop her and there tale continues from there. Another idea is that her abuse of some of night city’s drugs winds her up in the hospital with you being either the nurse or the person who brought viscera in. I’m happy to brain storm though! All I ask is good grammar when possible, I don’t ask for perfection as I am not always on point, but I blame it on English being my second language. If you’ve read this far, hop into my DMs! See you then!

I'll post the instructions on how to duplicate. I want you to spread it as widely as possible so that the developers can urgently fix it.
Important note: I am publishing the original instructions, but it's important to clarify that your virtual machine needs to see your GPU, otherwise the game won't start. If you don't know how to set up a virtual machine, you shouldn't even try.
Requirements:

1. Windows 8.1 OS or Windows 10 (might be not working with Win10 in some cases depends on the build)
   
2. VM Workstation Pro (also Windows 8.1 / 10 )
   
3. 2 different HDD drives (one for ASA main + OS and another one for VM ware with ASA + their OS)
   
4. 2 or more (if more need more VMs) DPS dino in game (with huge damage)
   
5. Significantly Weak WiFi connection on your computer (your internet speed must be slow and it has to be exactly wireless connection)
   
6. Turn on VPN on both VM and Main screen
   

**TO DO IT ON CONSOLES USE MULTIPLE CONSOLES CONNECTED TO SAME WIFI NETWORK**
[W23426]
What to do:
You will have to launch any ascension (need to open tek cave's doors) - that is why make sure you are in full control of server and can make sure NOBODY will be near the tek cave (rendering)
Prepare items you want to duplicate inside some object's (preferably some dino with large size) inventory (has to be enemy target and alive)
Locate the object with loot at the point of tek cave where parts of it will be within an area of tek cave and other part will be in area of game world (outside of cave)
Server has to be high ping (since its ASA it is usually always high ping)
Prepare 2 or more dinos (if more need more VMs) with good weight and damage (make sure not to have item collection disabled) **TO DO IT ON PVE USE WILD DINOS (KNOCKED OUT)**
Locate 1 at the point where it would be within an area of tek cave and the other one outside of tek cave (but yet be able to damage the object with loot)
All dinos must be from DIFFERENT tribes (could be alliance)
Launch ark both on VM and your PC (accounts can be different)
Join the server
Ride all dinos on both screens
Wait until timer is about to refresh (server saves)
At the same time as timer refreshes (server saves) you have to DISABLE WIFI in general (not just PC) and then VERY QUICK Turn it back and simultaneously kill the body with loot on BOTH dinos AT the same time
If you did all correct loot will be transferred into both inventories.
How to get loot from inventories safely (without losing them):
Get dinos far away from each other
Then get loot from 1st dino first, transfer it out (since transfers are disabled atm just duplicate stuff you can put in dedicated storage) and after that get loot from 2nd dino (you may keep it on server or transfer out once transfers open)
Note: it is possible to do ONLY on 1 Device and with same WiFi network!