my older brother is in the military and my parents are so proud of him. they facetime him every week, tell him they're so proud and that they love him, always tell me about the benefits he's getting. my dad is constantly watching yt videos about the military, he raves about how much he's helping the family, how he's getting free edu, how he'll retire early, how he's so much better of a person now. my brother is being trained in the medical field, even if it wasn't what he wanted as a career, he was just assigned it.
i,19f, told them i wanted to go to nursing school and they both encouraged me to join the military so i could get it for free. i considered it. my worst mistake was saying that id join too and then retracting. which led to more resentment from them.
i think a large part of it is cause we dont have money. but i put myself in the best position for nursing school; accepted into an accelerated bsn program, im transferring all ge's so i could go to school for less time/ money, my credit score is good to get a lower interest, im working and do scholarships nearly everyday. i made sure to make the cost as low as possible. i even went to a cc so i paid nothing from textbooks, food, classes, etc. im not sure im wrong to think that parents should pay for their child edu, but i pay for gas, a car, internet, groceries with my income from a min wage job.
i have always worked harder than my brother in school. its something we agreed on, he told me himself that he didn't like school. it was between my brother and i to decide who goes to the military to help my parents with immigration. he ended up going because he told me he saw more potential in me and that i really cared about my edu. so he put off months of his life at basic and tech school so i could continue to make a career for myself.
don't get me wrong, i am just as proud. i love my brother and i think what he's doing is awesome.
i wish my parents would say they loved me and tell me they were just as proud. i feel like i have to graduate from nursing school for them to feel the same. but i know that my accomplishments will always be less; because i didn't do basic training, i didn't get school for free, i didn't help with immigration. i just want to hear they're proud of me and the work i put in. but im guessing the traditional route is not something to be proud of because im not standing out from the rest. there's no bragging rights in saying that your daughter is doing something everybody else is doing. i wish my parents loved me as much as they loved my brother, i wish they were an ounce as proud of me.

Hi all, Thad a long stint in the hospital with two emergency surgeries and an extended battle with sepsis. I spent over a month in the hospital. My care was beyond top notch. I was released with several tubes as well as a G tube. Over the series 3ish months the tubes were removed one at a time with the last one being a G - tube. It was removed on a Monday and by Saturday night I was in extreme pain, so much so l couldn't walk. I was at my parents house for a holiday- two hours away from my acute care doctors. I had called their after office hours and my surgeon called me back immediately. He instructed me to go to the nearest ER and have them call him when I get there. So, my mom takes me- I explain to them my medical history and they take me back asap. My ER doc called my acute care surgeon and he was told my history and what my surgeon was worried about/the look for. Abscess, gastric leak, sepsis (as it's easier to get again once you've har it), and asked him to get me a CT scan. The CT V was ran... and reviewed by the radiologist and Ek doc. The ER doctor determined there was nothing out of the ordinary and in fact... I was lucky because my bowels weren't twisted! He called my acute care surgeon back and told him as such. My doctor directed to prescribe me antibiotics as a precaution. The ER doc told me to follow up in two weeks if need be with my PCP. I leave the ER in tears and a wheelchair as I am incapable of walking. I stay at my parents house for an additional two days because I was hoping the antibiotics would do their thing and I was terrified of a two hour drive with as much pain as I was in. One day 3 the pain was spreading and worse and I make the decision to head back to my own hospital.
I go directly to the ER. They run their own tests and take me to the OR immediately. My medical records state: "Patient CT concerning for a fluid collection/ abscess. Compared to previous CT done at another emergency department there is now a more defined abscess and fluid collection. Suspect abscess is secondary to gastric fluid leak given history of recent removal of g tube and closed wound and less likely nec fasciitis however surgical team was consulted and patient was immediately taken to OR. Patient was started on sepsis protocol on arrival will need further surgical management." My surgeon made the comment that he wasn't pleased they told him I was alright. I spent two weeks in the hospital and had two surgeries within that week. I have a 17 in scar from my G tube spot that wraps around my torso. It was left open and I was discharged. I had a wound vac and in home nurses. It took about two months to heal/close. It was one of the worst experiences of my life.
Which, brings me to my questions: My husband and I feel incredibly angry that such a large thing was missed - my medical records clearly state that the abscess was present on the original CT scan, and was even bigger the few days later. They billed us $32,000 for that too. Which, we've refused to pay so far.
I know medical malpractice is hard to prove to a degree and my husband and l are very close to the situation and I would like an outsiders perspective. I know there has to be a valid loss.... but it could have been my life. I feel if they had caught it.... maybe I would have had a 17 in scar wrapped around my body and endured so much torture.
Secondly, my husband is an attorney here in California for a large company- but he is a corporate attorney as are all of his friends... so it isn't his area of expertise. He wrote the letter for the intent to sue and we sent them out to the ER Doc, Radiologist, Hospital and company that employees the doctors. I have received responses to them and they're all requesting that I release my medical information to them. I'm assuming that's typical as several attorneys have requested it of me. We're in the process of getting an attorney (wanted to get the clock started).... Is that a typical request and are we required to do it? I understand that the intent to sue kind of helps with possibly avoiding court... Do I comply with their requests or? My husband said he was going to research it but I thought there might be someone knowledgeable here that could give some insight. Thank you!!

Hi! Just wanted to ask for anyone's experiences in any of these schools in their Language Institute? I want to make a comparison based on people's experiences regarding the learning environment + methods of learning + the school's learning priority (speaking/reading/writing).
So far, here's the feedback I got:

• My friend is pushing for Sogang since they prioritize speaking, which they said was the priority if I want to start working in Korea / Korea-affiliated company.
• My teacher in my current basic Korean classes also studied at Sogang, adding more street cred to the school.
• A relative is making me consider SNU because it has less financially crucial requirements (Guarantee Letter, to be specific) + slightly cheaper tuition fees.
  I'm planning to enroll in the Fall semester this year, and I've broken my choices down into SNU or Sogang.
  

We are first-time homer buyers and our offer on a Seattle home was recently accepted. The buyer's agent called us and said there's a strong offer that's expiring in three hours. The listing had only been active for two days, and it was our second time seeing the house. She asked us if we were willing to go higher. We did the math, offered our max price without putting a CMA together due to the high time pressure. Our agent had to scramble and put the offer letter together. Our agent did not stop us as she thought the house was of the value that we were offering. The buyer's agent kept pushing our agent seeing if we could offer more as the other buyer matched our offer. Eventually, we had to waive inspection and financial contingencies to win the bid.
Waiving inspection was fine, as our agent knew the pre-inspector and he did an awesome job. The appraisal came in just 10k lower (our offer was over 1 mil). However, the seller did not agree to lower the price or meet us in the middle as we didn't have an appraisal contingency in the contract. This was kind of the last straw knowing the stressful buying experience that the buyer's agent put us through (but yes, we also take responsibility for our decision) and knowing the house had issues like knob and tube, an old water heater, and an older roof that have 5 -10 years left from the pre-inspection report.
My partner and I liked the house enough. It has a good school district, it checks all the boxes, but not at the price point along with all the waived contingencies (but yes it was ultimately our decision, and we kinda messed up). My partner eventually mentioned that she probably wouldn't be here for more than 5 years, as she prefers other neighborhoods after we spent some time walking around the neighborhood. We are now experiencing strong buyer's remorse deciding if we should back out from the deal and lose our earnest money (4%) while we still can. We chatted with our agent and she was super understanding and will help us get in touch with people on her side to provide some legal perspective. Would you guys continue to close the sale or back out and potentially find a cheaper, smaller home?
​
​

I'm 26, born in Canada, have a diploma and a post-graduate certificate in UX Design, but I can't get a job no matter how hard I try.
I was fresh out of school in April 2022 when I got hired at a company, worked in the industry for close to 2 years with a company that I loved working at, a dream job of sort, but then I was laid off in November 2023.
I'm from further up north in Ontario and I understood that living in Toronto was going to be hard, even with a job, but all I wanted to do was get my foot in the door and get some experience so that I could move to where I wanted outside of the GTA and still be in my career. Now my EI is going all to rent and I'm actually losing more money than I'm saving.
I have 3 years of education specifically in UX, and just under 2 years of experience in the industry. I know I don't have a University degree which a lot of companies want you to have, but bootcamps like Brainstation where you can do a 6 month course and become a UX Designer are essentially forcing me to go back to school, which I don't have the money for.
It is hurting my mental health significantly knowing someone with a degree in some random subject plus a Brainstation or Google UX certificate have higher priority than me for jobs.
I have a portfolio, excellent resume, have worked with a career counsellor, and tailor every cover letter (even paying for subscriptions for LinkedIn Premium and RocketReach to help boost my chances), but I can't afford them anymore and have no hope left to continue trying.
I have no idea what I can do anymore to get a job in my field. I'm not against full-time or part-time work in other fields like retail, restaurants, etc. but I feel like I've spent almost a full decade of my life planning my career path and I've failed.
I'm on the verge of a breakdown.

Me [21 F] and my boyfriend [21 M] have known each other since high school. We just recently had a baby together and things have been pretty good considering that having a baby is extremely difficult for first time parents. Figuring out the dynamics and adjusting to a new human is unsurprisingly draining, but I do love it because I love my son. However, some issues that have been going on with my partner have been bothering me especially lately because I don’t think I addressed them while I was pregnant to not put stress on the baby while he was in my stomach, if that makes sense. I used to let tons of things slide. When I first found out I was pregnant it was around May. I had severe morning sickness and couldn’t work so he went to work at his regular job and another job to keep up with the rent and the car. It was a struggle with my mental health because I was always throwing up and angry because I was tired of it and couldn’t get relief. While you think he’d have patience for me because I was so sick, he absolutely did not. It was a situation where I was constantly trying to explain to him what I was going through and he just nodded said a few things that I might want to hear and kept going on with his day. He was annoyed I was in bed all day, annoyed I wouldn’t eat anything and went to the extent of telling me I was dramatic. I was too drained to argue so I let it slide. My birthday is in July and his in June so while I was almost at the peak of my sickness period we celebrated his birthday by going out with his siblings. Then, on my birthday he worked because he didn’t tell his jobs ahead of time that he couldn’t work so we did nothing for my birthday. I was alone in the dark room throwing up my guts for 12 hours while he was at work. I understood, I let him know about it being hurtful but I did kind of understand. It bothers me today but what can I do now that it’s over? Just remember it. Fast forward to me giving birth. We have two dogs at home who are crate trained so whenever we leave they sleep in the crate. We live an hour and a half away from the hospital I was giving birth at so while I was actively having contractions after being induced, he starts telling me about five hrs after having gotten back from the apartment to walk the dogs that he’s going to go again. However at this specific time he was saying that I was in a tremendous amount of pain, even with the epidural. I wasn’t hysterical but I was telling him to not leave me because what if I had the baby while he was gone. Then, he got mad at me and said I was being inconsiderate about the dogs because they needed to go to the bathroom but with perfect timing, the doctors came in and told me it was time to start pushing. I was upset he was just on his phone worried about the dogs while I was literally giving birth to our son and in pain, but all I could do is let him know it was pretty upsetting and let it go. Now, four months later I’m bothered because I was Mother’s Day, my first ever Mother’s Day and he didn’t give me a card, write me a letter, or even just sit with me and do an activity even though I reminded him about a week ahead of time. It’s just so much things that he does that make me feel he is insensitive and not really interested in making things special or taking the time to be comforting to me. His response is always “well I was going to do something but I didn’t have time” or “I’m sorry I forgot it’s because I really can’t take the day off for your birthday” or “well the dogs had to go to the bathroom what do you want me to do”. I love my dogs but because my family chose not to come and help me through the birth I couldn’t take the chance of giving birth alone in case something happened to me or my newborn. What should I do? I’ve had through discussions about this bothering me and I get the same lame excuse and even an attitude when I mention these things. It’s notable to say that I know he does love me. He does do things for me like cook and clean and obviously go to work but even after emphasizing that I do want special things he doesn’t do them.

i'm a junior in highschool and i started talking to this guy from my school who had 53 followers on insta (only 2 were girls) like he was extremely shy in front of girls and we hit it off. i knew i liked him. he was physically attractive and our personalities matched well. he himself said that he felt like i was the female version of him. it was obvious that he liked me back but for some reason he kept saying he didn't want to date because his friends had bad experiences so i didn't force him into anything. for 2 months we talked daily for 12 hours. once we made a plan to meet up but i couldn't come because i got my period. he got so pissed that he refused to talk to me and deactivated his instagram. he said i was the only person he had a soft spot for and i ruined it. he even burnt the love letter i had given him. my friends thought it was really childish that he got so mad especially when we were just meeting as friends. his defense was that we had been planning to meet since so long and he was just disappointed. i wrote him a long apology and he forgave me. later, my friends told me to confront him and ask him if he really liked me because he wanted to do all these lovey dovey couple things with me like saying he wanted to marry me 9 yrs later but then saying we were just friends. so i asked him and he kept saying i don't know until he said that he did like me but he didn't want to date because of moral issues and stuff (we're Muslim btw) so i didn't push him. i told him i would wait till he was ready. we went back to normal. we even met and he gave me his bracelet and chocolates. i knew i was in love with him even though my friends didn't like him. a few weeks passed by and i felt that he was getting distant. his texts were dry and we didn't talk that often. and then all of a sudden i checked and he had unfollowed and removed me. i asked him about it and he said that he wanted to stop talking to girls since he had bad experiences (he fought his other girl friend whos the biggest pick me ive met btw) and said he was looking forward to a religious approach. i just replied with good for you since i couldn't really say anything else. my friends said he got tired of me and it was all an excuse. i don't know what to think. i mean i liked him so much just for him to break it off so suddenly. you can be friends with girls without it being sexual can't you? like even his friends were like if i was him i wouldn't hesitate to date you. and if he did want to become more religious why didn't he focus on his inner circle because from what ive heard some of his friends are shitty ppl. recently i saw screenshots of his chat history that his younger brother sent. it was his dms list full of girls (my last text to him was included) i was a bit suspicious because back when i first met him everyone said he was shy and he was afraid of talking to girls and i was the only one he romantically interacted with (he had 2 other friends that were girls and i knew them since he used to show me his dm list) but now he's texting girls that don't even want anything to do with him. went into a h0e phase after we stopped talking i guess. why would he leave me to talk to other girls that don't even want him. did my attention boost his ego idk what happened i miss it but i wouldn't want him back idk. im confused. it hurts now bcs he was my first proper love and i really wanted a future with him.

i'm a junior in highschool and i started talking to this guy from my school who had 53 followers on insta (only 2 were girls) like he was extremely shy in front of girls and we hit it off. i knew i liked him. he was physically attractive and our personalities matched well. he himself said that he felt like i was the female version of him. it was obvious that he liked me back but for some reason he kept saying he didn't want to date because his friends had bad experiences so i didn't force him into anything. for 2 months we talked daily for 12 hours. once we made a plan to meet up but i couldn't come because i got my period. he got so pissed that he refused to talk to me and deactivated his instagram. he said i was the only person he had a soft spot for and i ruined it. he even burnt the love letter i had given him. my friends thought it was really childish that he got so mad especially when we were just meeting as friends. his defense was that we had been planning to meet since so long and he was just disappointed. i wrote him a long apology and he forgave me. later, my friends told me to confront him and ask him if he really liked me because he wanted to do all these lovey dovey couple things with me like saying he wanted to marry me 9 yrs later but then saying we were just friends. so i asked him and he kept saying i don't know until he said that he did like me but he didn't want to date because of moral issues and stuff (we're Muslim btw) so i didn't push him. i told him i would wait till he was ready. we went back to normal. we even met and he gave me his bracelet and chocolates. i knew i was in love with him even though my friends didn't like him. a few weeks passed by and i felt that he was getting distant. his texts were dry and we didn't talk that often. and then all of a sudden i checked and he had unfollowed and removed me. i asked him about it and he said that he wanted to stop talking to girls since he had bad experiences (he fought his other girl friend whos the biggest pick me i've met btw) and said he was looking forward to a religious approach. i just replied with good for you since i couldn't really say anything else. my friends said he got tired of me and it was all an excuse. i don't know what to think. i mean i liked him so much just for him to break it off so suddenly. you can be friends with girls without it being sexual can't you? like even his friends were like if i was him i wouldn't hesitate to date you. and if he did want to become more religious why didn't he focus on his inner circle because from what i've heard some of his friends are shitty ppl. recently i saw screenshots of his chat history that his younger brother sent. it was his dms list full of girls (my last text to him was included) i was a bit suspicious because back when i first met him everyone said he was shy and he was afraid of talking to girls and i was the only one he romantically interacted with (he had 2 other friends that were girls and i knew them since he used to show me his dm list) but now he's texting girls that don't even want anything to do with him. went into a h0e phase after we stopped talking i guess. why would he leave me to talk to other girls that don't even want him. did my attention boost his ego idk what happened i miss it but i wouldn't want him back idk. i'm confused. it hurts now bcs he was my first proper love and i really wanted a future with him.

i'm a junior in highschool and i started talking to this guy from my school who had 53 followers on insta (only 2 were girls) like he was extremely shy in front of girls and we hit it off. i knew i liked him. he was physically attractive and our personalities matched well. he himself said that he felt like i was the female version of him. it was obvious that he liked me back but for some reason he kept saying he didn't want to date because his friends had bad experiences so i didn't force him into anything. for 2 months we talked daily for 12 hours. once we made a plan to meet up but i couldn't come because i got my period. he got so pissed that he refused to talk to me and deactivated his instagram. he said i was the only person he had a soft spot for and i ruined it. he even burnt the love letter i had given him. my friends thought it was really childish that he got so mad especially when we were just meeting as friends. his defense was that we had been planning to meet since so long and he was just disappointed. i wrote him a long apology and he forgave me. later, my friends told me to confront him and ask him if he really liked me because he wanted to do all these lovey dovey couple things with me like saying he wanted to marry me 9 yrs later but then saying we were just friends. so i asked him and he kept saying i don't know until he said that he did like me but he didn't want to date because of moral issues and stuff (we're Muslim btw) so i didn't push him. i told him i would wait till he was ready. we went back to normal. we even met and he gave me his bracelet and chocolates. i knew i was in love with him even though my friends didn't like him. a few weeks passed by and i felt that he was getting distant. his texts were dry and we didn't talk that often. and then all of a sudden i checked and he had unfollowed and removed me. i asked him about it and he said that he wanted to stop talking to girls since he had bad experiences (he fought his other girl friend whos the biggest pick me ive met btw) and said he was looking forward to a religious approach. i just replied with good for you since i couldn't really say anything else. my friends said he got tired of me and it was all an excuse. i don't know what to think. i mean i liked him so much just for him to break it off so suddenly. you can be friends with girls without it being sexual can't you? like even his friends were like if i was him i wouldn't hesitate to date you. and if he did want to become more religious why didn't he focus on his inner circle because from what ive heard some of his friends are shitty ppl. recently i saw screenshots of his chat history that his younger brother sent. it was his dms list full of girls (my last text to him was included) i was a bit suspicious because back when i first met him everyone said he was shy and he was afraid of talking to girls and i was the only one he romantically interacted with (he had 2 other friends that were girls and i knew them since he used to show me his dm list) but now he's texting girls that don't even want anything to do with him. went into a h0e phase after we stopped talking i guess. why would he leave me to talk to other girls that don't even want him. did my attention boost his ego idk what happened i miss it but i wouldn't want him back idk. im confused. it hurts now bcs he was my first proper love and i really wanted a future with him.

Two years after my divorce, I’ve made a lot of changes to my life. I moved to a new state for law school and started on a new career path, and I’m set to move to a new city after I graduate. I have a lot of new people in my life and I do a lot of new things. Basically, while the memories and hurts of the divorce are always lingering in the background, they no longer affect my day-to-day life.
Still, almost always, I have dreams of my ex and the life we had together. Sometimes my ex is still around. Sometimes it’s the aftermath of the separation and divorce itself. But either way, while I am asleep or in the haze between asleep and awake, I’m taken back to a deeply hurtful place, either by the memories themselves or the later realization that those memories are only memories.
Most days, I forget the dreams fairly quickly after getting up. Other days, the thoughts linger even more potently. Yesterday was one of those days, and I broke my streak of not looking at old pictures, what I could find from my ex’s public social media, etc.
From what I could see, my ex doesn’t seem to miss me or our old life at all (in fact, my ex publicly said as much). Though I know that social media isn’t reflective of reality a lot of the time, it still hurt.
For context, here’s a letter I wrote a few months ago but would never actually send: https://www.reddit.com/Divorce/s/FkAZTzi8Ys

I'm a student graduating from a CSU looking to apply to econ & econ adjacent (accounting/finance) PhD programs. I'm not sure where to aim since I have a weird profile. I'd appreciate anyone's input. I like tax research and asset pricing so I think I'm going to focus on accounting Ph.D.'s since I think my calc grades will be less of an issue and because I have a job lined up at a public accounting firm in the fall.
I plan on working for 1-3 years before applying. I'd really just like an idea of what I can do to improve my profile and where I should be aiming right now. Goal-wise if I went accounting I'd be shooting for an R1 placement and if I went econ I think I'd be shooting for a job as a CSU prof.
I am also looking at econ masters programs. I can attend USC's applied masters program at a deep discount (taxable tuition waiver) because one of my parents is an adjunct there. That seems like it would solve a lot of my problems since it would establish some distance between me and my undergrad grades and they have a masters thesis option which could give me a letter of rec from someone well known. Placing into USC's accounting PhD would be ideal, there are a lot of people there I'd like to work with. My main concern is that it is not intended for PhD prep, so I'm not sure how much I would actually get out of it.
My Profile:
Overall GPA: 3.1
GPA in the last 2 years: 3.65
Econ GPA: 3.9
Math GPA: 3.13
Note: My university does not award A+ grades, an A is a 4.0.
Math Classes in Chronological Order:

• Business Calc: A
• Stats 101: C
• Calc 1: B (Retaken after a D)
• Calc 2: C
• Calc 3: B
• Probability Theory: C
• Intro to Higher Math (Proof Writing): A
• Linear Algebra: A
• Intro to Real Analysis: A
• Mathematical Statistics: A

Econ Classes in Chronological Order:

• Intro to Micro: A
• Intro to Macro: B
• History: A
• Price Theory: A
• Money and Banking: A
• Econ Data Analysis: A
• Macro Theory: A
• Labor: B+
• Development: A-
• Metrics: A
• International Finance: A
• Public Econ: A

Research Experience:
1.5 years as an undergrad research assistant:

• Assists in modeling energy markets & optimal levels of liquid natural gas storage in the EU
• Used Python to aggregate over 20,000 firm level datasets into a comprehensive dataset for the EU, giving us 100 times as much usable data.
• Incorporated state-level Renewable Portfolio Standards into existing python model, generating additional metrics used to measure the impact of regulatory pressure
• Utilizes Python data science packages for regression analysis, data manipulation, and visualization

Letters of rec:
3 pretty enthusiastic letters, but none of them are well-known economists of course because its a more teaching-oriented school. One is from the professor I was a research assistant under, the other two are from professors who I took an upper-division class with and wrote a class paper for.
My math stats professor, who has a phd in stats & a masters in econ, said he would write a supplemental letter saying that I am well prepared for phd level econometrics if that matters.
GRE:
Haven't taken it yet, but I have done well on every standardized math test I've taken and this will be the first one I put a lot of effort into. I got a 170 on the quantitative section of the practice test before studying, so I expect I'll be able to get a 167+ by the time I apply. Would a 167 vs 170 make a difference in my case?
If you read this whole thing, thank you so much! I appreciate the time everyone here takes to help each other out.

Two years after my divorce, I’ve made a lot of changes to my life. I moved to a new state for law school and started on a new career path, and I’m set to move to a new city after I graduate. I have a lot of new people in my life and I do a lot of new things. Basically, while the memories and hurts of the divorce are always lingering in the background, they no longer affect my day-to-day life.
Still, almost always, I have dreams of my ex and the life we had together. Sometimes my ex is still around. Sometimes it’s the aftermath of the separation and divorce itself. But either way, while I am asleep or in the haze between asleep and awake, I’m taken back to a deeply hurtful place, either by the memories themselves or the later realization that those memories are only memories.
Most days, I forget the dreams fairly quickly after getting up. Other days, the thoughts linger even more potently. Yesterday was one of those days, and I broke my streak of not looking at old pictures, what I could find from my ex’s public social media, etc.
From what I could see, my ex doesn’t seem to miss me or our old life at all (in fact, my ex publicly said as much). Though I know that social media isn’t reflective of reality a lot of the time, it still hurt.
For context, here’s a letter I wrote a few months ago but would never actually send: https://www.reddit.com/Divorce/s/FkAZTzi8Ys

Emil Nilsson - Son of Asclepius

Bio
Name: Emil Nilsson	Birthdate: 11/16/23
Age: 16	Gender: Cisgender Male (He/Him)
Sexual Orientation: Heterosexual	Nationality: American and Swedish
Race: Caucasian	Fatal Flaw: Apathy
Demigod Conundrums: ADD	Birthplace: Lincoln, Nebraska

Appearance:

Faceclaim	Voiceclaim	Height	Hair Color	Eye color	Body type	Clothing
Mark Anastasio	The Fox from The Fox and The Little Prince	5'9”	Brown with blond highlights	Varies	Lithe	1, 2, 3, 4, 5

Personality:

Emil has little to no reactions or emotions towards things, he doesn’t express whether he’s excited or distraught about something. He’s indifferent towards almost everything that’s around him, not usually bothering to care about how others feel, which can lead to him being rather blunt and harsh. Emil doesn’t strive to be rude and hate everyone, that’s just how he is. While he lacks compassion, Emil is extremely hard working, and likes to make sure that everything he does is precise and efficient.

Traits:

• Positive: Observant, genuine, responsible
• Neutral: Cautious, reserved, pragmatic
• Negative: Cynical, apathetic, arrogant *** #Likes:
• Foods: Cheese Frenchees, Runza, Keoppkaka
• Drinks: Coffee, passion fruit nectar, green tea
• Music: Weezer, The Kinks, Barry Manilow, COIN
• Other: Medical Toxicology, scorpions, platypuses, photography *** #Dislikes:
• Foods: Oatmeal/grits, most fast food, pudding, yogurt
• Drinks: Orange juice, hot chocolate, smoothies, milkshakes
• Music: Classical, country, blues
• Other: Driving, people interrupting conversations, hot weather, change *** #Fears:
• Failure
• Clutter
• Enclosed spaces:
• Being touched *** #Family: Name Relationship Age Description ------------ Cecilia Nilsson Mother 38 Emil tolerates his mother at best, they’ve never been super close. Whenever she’s not busy at her job as a nurse, which isn’t often, she’ll take the time to try and “prepare him for his future” Asclepius Father ??? Emil appreciates that Asclepius at least bothered to give him a gift one time in his life, instead of being a completely awful dad, plus his mom says that he’s nice Bailey Best Friend 3 Emil’s Emperor Scorpion, his mom gifted him her after he had been subtly hinting that he wanted a scorpion for several years *** #Powers Name Type Description ------------ Enhanced Skill Proficiency Domain He’s naturally adept at things that relate to medicine and healing Summon Tool Domain Can summon a small medical tent with first aid supplies Persuasion Proficiency Domain Naturally adept with the skills of persuasion, logic and critical thinking, especially in the realms of argumentation, debate, trade, and haggling. Instant Triage Minor Knows the current physiological state of an individual, including their prevailing injuries and illnesses Soothing Aura Minor Can have an area of effect that makes others feel calm and serene, especially when injured. Serpent Affinity Minor Serpents are naturally friendly to him Deliverer’s Rift Major The user can deliver one or more people up to 1 mile away. Can only be used to transport other people. Doesn’t work through walls *** #Items and Equipment: Name Type Magical Properties (If any) Description ------------ Painkiller Staff Dormant form, flashlight, transforms into staff Made of hardwood, the accents and ends are celestial bronze. Length is 5’7”. A gift from Asclepius Madeline Plushie None A platypus plushie that is weighted, it helps him sleep better at night, since the smell from the dried lavender inside calms him Reading Glasses Eyewear None They help him read things, y’know, since they’re glasses Camera Polaroid Camera None One of his prized possessions, it feels more real to Emil over a phone’s camera *** #Backstory: REDACTED *** #Now: “I’ll be fine.” From the look on her face, I can tell that she does not believe me. My mother was overly worried about me, though I think she is more worried about me missing school than my well-being.

I had my backpack with my essentials, and my flashlight clipped to the waistband of my pants. The only thing she should be worried about is how she will exit the forest, the GPS stopped working midway on our way here, not that it would be my problem anymore.
She sighed, clearly she had realized that pretending to be worried about me would be a waste of time. “If you say so, Emmy. Please just try to be nice when you get there, for me?” I would not be doing anything for her anymore. Now that I would not be stuck with her anymore I would be making my own decisions, but I decided to appease her so that she would leave me alone. “I will, for you.”
Emil managed to find his cabin with relative ease, it was one of the many atrocious looking places this camp had to offer. All the beds being reminiscent of hospital beds was just weird, some idiot must have thought that was such an amazing idea.
After checking out his cabin, Emil escapes it and is outside once more. This place clearly was not well maintained, and he was not particularly keen on being here long term, but he would have to make due.
Now sitting on the edge of the lake, he observes the water. The lake was the closest to a pleasant place he could find in a camp like this. Though he still would try to check out the forest and beach eventually.

I (F24) live in Wisconsin. In April 2021 I attended a hair appointment at a local salon to receive two services to treat myself for my 21st birthday. One service was to dye my hair and the other was hand tied hair extensions. The morning after, I noticed my scalp, facial parameter, and ears were swelling, sore, blistered and excreting liquids. I immediately messaged my stylist and they did not answer until late at night after I had already visited the emergency room because the swelling was progressively getting worse. In the emergency room I was told I had had an allergic reaction to what was used in my hair and that the swelling would continue to progress. My entire face swole over the span of 2-3 days and my eyes were swollen shut at a certain point. My scalp, face, and ears continued to blister, excrete fluid, and crust. I was not able to attend work, school, complete assignments, and other personal responsibilities (ex. picking up my sister from school). I lost sleep and felt immense fear that the swelling would spread to my throat. This was something I was told in could happen in the emergency room.
After discussing this situation with the salon owner and stylist that did my hair, we came to an agreement through direct messages. The owner offered a parcial refund of $500. The total cost was $1400. I accepted as I needed the money to pay the medical bills. It has been 3 years and I have not received this payment. I had limited correspondence from the salon owner whom I made the agreement with and I was blocked on my social media accounts. After making a more public Facebook post that received some local attention, the owner has reached out again regarding this matter.
In addition to in person communication, messages, a salon review, and calls, I sent a letter asking for their direct insurance information. This was suggested by another lawyer I contacted regarding this incident. I did not receive a response. Also, during our in person discussion the owner stated that seeking legal action would not be good, that he “knew law” and that his father was a lawyer. This was intimidating.
After three years, I feel I deserve more than what was originally agreed on. This has been a constant stressor on my life. It has left me humiliated, distraught, and unable to ever step foot into a salon again. I don’t know what to do.
Thank you to anyone that takes their time to read and advise!

What a buzz when an ultra conservative R.C. football kicker tells women what they should be and do . The focus on the commencement address given is slightly amazing. What he said is exactly what the Christian church has been telling women for centuries. This is not to be confused with what Jesus exemplified with his ministry. The LCMS has benefitted from the work of women throughout it's history. Poorly paid nurses, teachers, social worksers, and women of other professions have not only staffed their institurions but also in fact kept pastoral families affloat . Due to the meager salaries of male pators and teachers, wives workerd and supported the family. In discussing with a friend the difficulties of the continuation of certain ultra consevative Jewish communities where the women support the family, and men spend much of their time studying theology, I realized this is not too differnt from the LCMS pastor's and teacher's situation. (The limited teacher salaries for female teachers in day schools was justified in that it would be supplmented by her husbands salary. Similar it was to the reasoning as to why women could not vote in the parish meetings; husbands and fathers voted for them.) The LCMS is not going to last long with current leadership bemoaning the feminsit movement and not adjusting to the 21st Century or the history of women in both Testaments. Kate Luther made it possible for Martin to survive as he neither had the capacity to manage an estate and the money needed or to take care of his activities of daily living. The LCMS needs new leadership and it needs to have equal representation of women in its decision making.

I'm currently getting my BSN, and of course they are already pushing us to get our masters early on. At my school I can submatriculate (start some of my masters courses early on) and for the long term I'm not sure if I want to be a PICU or NICU nurse. Does it make sense to get my Pediatric Acute Care NP degree with a concentration in critical care and work in a PICU, then a couple years later return to get my Neonatal NP degree if I want to work in a NICU setting instead?

Hi. I have not written anything in a while so if this is choppy, bear with me.
I’m nonbinary (AFAB) and use any pronouns. Your age or gender or country doesn’t matter to me. I love speaking to people very different than me.
I have suffered from a lot of anxiety and avoidant behaviors most of my life, which led to me being a shut-in internet addict for years pre-COVID. In my adult life now, I find it very difficult to connect with others. But I love people, I love observing their little quirks. I love getting to know their stories, I often wonder about their inner dialogue and dreams and all the experiences they’ve had that led them to the same place and time as me.
But anyway, I’m very much a late bloomer and I’ve only been integrating back into society for about 3 years now. I’ve made lots of progress, and friends of some sort. But I feel very lonely. I mistook this for a different loneliness and threw myself into romantic relationships. I’ve realized that, the entire time I just needed friends. I just craved connection. To be seen. To see. Real connections, that are intentional.
Everyone in my social circle seems to be fixated on Twitter and the idea of “mutuals”, preoccupied with dating apps and the latest situationship. I adapted to this, but I find myself always feeling empty, and lately that doesn’t feel like enough to me.
I crave something different. I crave something sweeter, something intentional, something wholesome. I want to feel like apart of it all. I know the life I could live, I know the capacity for connection I could have, I know it’s out there.
I use to read my grandmas letters and postcards often, and I’ve always wanted to do the same. I find it so sweet that two humans in different places take the time and effort to tell each other about their lives and what they’ve seen, and send little photos. It’s beautiful.
With that being said, I’ll tell you a bit about me so maybe we can have common interests to build off of.

• I’m a self taught musician. I never performed beyond for friends and family, it’s more of a therapeutic thing for me. I have been asked to play for my best friend’s wedding though, which is very scary. I’ve played guitar for over a decade, I love trying to pick up other instruments too.
• I enjoy music a lot. I use to collect records, and would one day like to get back into it. Some of my favorite artists currently are Adrianne Lenker, Faye Webster, Indigo De Souza, Boygenius, Julia Jacklin. I love finding new music, and making playlists. I’d love to eventually burn CDs and make physical playlists for people I’m close to.
• I don’t watch a whole lot of film, but some of my favorites are After Hours, A portrait of a Lady on Fire, and I really enjoyed Love Lies Bleeding. I’m currently watching the series Normal People.
• I don’t read and haven’t in a long time, however I want to change this. I have a list of books I’d like to read.
• I work nightshift, a very repetitive and menial postal job.
• I love nature but stay inside way too often because my avoidance with being perceived by others and living in a city. When I lived in a rural town, I loved being outside. I’d really like to push myself to go to parks, hiking, lakes.
• I enjoy learning about “practical” and handy things. I use to go to welding school and enjoyed it very much. I did a construction pre-apprenticeship too. There’s a lot that I don’t know but it’s an interest of mine. I love learning about the trades and how we sustain our shelters. I love architecture and landscaping and spaces that feel beautiful to be in. I also have a special interest in learning about the construction of cob houses, and would LOVE to do a workshop one day.
• I love learning overall, about anything. But I’d really like to learn how to garden and cook. I also bake from time to time, but haven’t in a while due to housing insecurity.

Anyway, I can’t think of much else and I feel this is already a bit lengthy for an introductory post. If you feel the same, and like we may have some common interests, please reach out. Thank you :)

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Welcome to the "Skotia What in the World" podcast, where the beats of hip-hop blend with the pulse of real-world events and a dash of comedy! Each episode dives into the vibrant culture of Baltimore's hip-hop scene, showcasing not just music but the stories and personalities that make it resonate. We bring you the freshest tracks, the most compelling artists, and laugh-out-loud moments, all wrapped up in the raw, unfiltered style of reality rap. Tune in to stay updated, entertained, and connected with the heartbeat of the streets. Whether you're a hip-hop head or just looking for a mix of music, mirth, and meaningful conversation, this is your spot. Join us on Skotia What in the World, where real life meets real beats!

TW for sexual, physical, medical, emotional, and religious abuse, childhood sa, suicidal ideation, and self harm
This past week has been incredibly difficult due to that holiday so I decided it would be good for me to write a letter to my nmom to keep for myself during my healing process to get everything out and it's been very cathartic. Part of my healing journey has been sharing my (extremely personal) experience with others who understand, hence why I'm sharing this here, and maybe it'll give someone some strength knowing that I made it out after all of this. I hope everyone was kind to themselves this week and was able to treat this holiday as a holiday for themselves for surviving their nmoms!
Dear mom, Happy belated Mother’s Day. My Mother’s Day was spent being upset and anxious so I decided to write this letter. This letter is so incredibly difficult to write and even more difficult to read back to myself. Moving away from university and back home during COVID was genuinely one of the most difficult things I have done in my life simply because of all of the repressed memories that flooded back into my brain every single day I was in that house. I used to resent the pandemic for forcing me to live in an environment that made me want to harm myself every single day and die every other day, but I am now thankful for the clarity that it brought me as I don’t think I’d have the foresight that I have now.
There is a lot that I want to say. I am angry, bitter, resentful, and traumatized from things that you have done to me as a child and also as an adult. I thought for a very long time that thing were normal but thank God I now know just how truly fucked up so many of my childhood experiences were. Not a single day goes by where I don’t think about the emotional, physical, and sexual abuse that I went through. I am haunted every single day by things that you did (and some things that you didn’t do) and hope that one day I will be able to heal from what I experienced.
I grew up being close to my cousin Chloe (a year younger than me) who was obviously very bitchy, mean, and abusive. This fact isn’t something you weren’t aware of as I know a fully grown adult would be able to see how she treated and talked to me when around you and come to the obvious conclusion that I should not have been allowed to be around her. She bullied me, called me names, physically assaulted me by pushing me, pulling my hair, and sitting on me with my hands held behind my back until I couldn’t breathe, forced me to bathe in scolding hot bath water that would burn my skin, making me undress and make fun of parts of my body, and forced me to watch things that she knew would scare me. This is the same time that I started having insomnia and struggled in school due to anxiety. It’s also the same time I remember my sound sensitivity starting. Do you remember my childhood friend’s mom Amelia and how protective she was over my friend, Diana? Diana met Chloe at my 9th birthday party and Diana went over to her house for a playdate and Chloe did something to her. She physically reached over and groped Diana on the privates. I knew Amelia IMMEDIATELY prevented her daughter from ever being around Chloe again. I also knew that it's possible she mentioned this to my aunt, but I'm not positive. I know that Amelia is the type of mom to prevent Diana from reading Harry Potter because she thought it was a bad influence on her due to being “demonic”, so I wouldn’t be surprised if she made you aware of what Chloe did to Diana as she knew that I spent a lot of time around her. I doubt that what Chloe did to Diana was ever kept a secret from you. Chloe also forced me to do sexual things I didn’t want to do from roughly the ages of 8-11. One time, we were in her kitchen and she pulled out a knife and said that she was going to stab me. By then, I knew she just wanted to scare me so when I had no reaction, she put the knife away. I was terrified of what would happen if I said no to her so I went along with whatever she wanted. She would go into the bathroom and tell me to follow, would lock the door, and make me take off my clothes and let her do things to me and forced me to do the same things to her. I used to think that you had NO IDEA about this until I remember you saying the words- “you were an amazing kid and never had any problems until you got a little older. I always wondered if something happened.” Who the fuck says that to their kid???? Yeah, something DID happen and it wouldn’t have happened if you protected me!!!! You fucking idiot!!!! I remember being in our new house and taking a shower with you when I was about 8 (which was VERY inappropriate and should NEVER have happened at all) and saying something that clearly made you uncomfortable. It CLEARLY indicated something was going on. I remember the exact face you made and know that any normal, healthy adult would have done something about it and made sure nothing was happening. They would have made sure I was SAFE, and talked to me about safety, but nothing was said or done. You have failed me many times, but this one is the most painful. Not only will you need to live with the fact that you knew about my abuse and did nothing, but I will have to live with the fact that my mom knew "something happened” and didn’t care about me enough to protect me. I look at my beautiful niece Hallie, and imagine not protecting her like that and want to vomit. I cannot fathom how a mother would have the thought “I wonder if something happened to my daughter to case a massive behavioral change” and NOT DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT! You didn’t talk to me, never asked me if Chloe was doing anything, or anything at all. If I even had a minor suspicion that something was happening to Hallie, I would IMMEDIATELY do something about it because THAT IS MY JOB as an adult in her life. You failed me and deserve to know that this traumatized me and gave me PTSD. I am NOT autistic, no matter how much you WANT me to be so you can go around and gain sympathy for “having an autistic daughter” rather than owning up to the fact that you caused what “went wrong” with me.
Not only did you not help prevent me from being molested by my cousin, you also added to my sexual trauma by forcing me to use the giant egg monistat insert to treat a yeast infection when I was 11. I was ELEVEN and you had a bright idea to force a HUGE foreign object into my prepubescent body even though you were fully aware I could have easily gotten a prescription for a pill to swallow from a doctor. I was scared. I had so much pain and itching and needed a mother to hug me, tell me it’s going to be okay, or at the very least, EXPLAIN what I had and how we were going to fix it. You didn’t do any of that. You told me to lay down and proceeded to try and administer medication that is NOT meant for children 12 and under due to the physical damage it could cause. I was clearly in pain and scared, but you kept trying anyways. At any point, you could have stopped and taken me to the fucking doctor, but nope. You then got frustrated that “you couldn’t get it in” and told your 11 year old daughter to shove it inside herself. Then you left the room. I hadn’t even had a period yet, let alone know where my vagina was but you sure felt the need to yet again abandon your parental responsibilities and place them onto your kid! Miraculously, I put it in and wobbled out to lay on the couch because I was in physical pain from BOTH the infection and YOU, but because a child’s body isn’t able to properly fully insert the medication used (which once again I’ll remind you is meant for girls 13 and up), it came out and got on the couch because you didn’t give me a pad. And rather than prioritize your own daughter’s health, safety, wellbeing, and comfort, you were more upset about the stain on the couch and yelled at me. I will never forget in all of the years that I am alive how ashamed and disgusted I felt standing behind you watching you furiously scrub at the stain that I caused (actually, that YOU caused since this never should have happened in the first place!) and feeling a huge flood of guilt every time I saw that couch stain. One of the best days of my life was when we got a new couch and I never had to see that stain again.
All of this caused me to develop anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts and ideation, self harming behaviors, having out of body experiences where I dissociate, and panic attacks amongst other things. YOU caused ALL of this and you fought tooth and nail to convince me that it was MY fault for being broken. “There’s something going on with you,” and you made it your mission to never take any responsibility for any of the trauma that you caused. Not only did you ignore all signs of abuse and sexually assault me yourself, you bullied and helped a family friend Sharon bully me when I was “being mean” to (her daughter) Faith. I was treated like I was a mentally ill monster who couldn’t be trusted and always got in trouble whenever Faith shed a single tear because I was “mean to her”. Faith cried at LEAST 15x a day, and I was blamed every time she decided to say I was the reason. You allowed a monster (Sharon) to ABUSE me and had the incredibly wise idea to start passing along what shit talking you two would say about me TO ME, a 13 year old girl. I was THIRTEEN. I was A CHILD. And yet, you came crying and complaining to me about how tired you were of hearing Sharon say I was being mean to her daughter when you could have TOLD THE OTHER ADULT IN THE SITUATION TO STOP. It never was my responsibility as a child to try and make another adult stop abusing me by “behaving better.” There was nothing wrong with how I was behaving. You never once tried to help me, you always blamed anybody and everybody else for your failures. I would come and ask you for help when I was struggling and if you didn’t care, you would pawn it off to somebody else- “go talk to your older sister” “talk to your therapist about that” “I don’t know what to say except to tell you to pray about it” and when I came back saying praying didn’t magically fix my depression, you told me to pray harder. I guess you really thought it was a skill issue rather than a diagnosable health condition! No wonder I wanted to die! Hahaha! I’ll never forget the look of disgust on your face when I was sobbing hysterically and struggling to get out the words when I told you just how badly I was affected by Sharon and said how you played a role in helping her harm and abuse me. “WELL. I’m SORRY if you think I didn’t protect you enough. I know what that feels like because my parent’s took my sister’s side a few weeks ago when we were having an argument” (as FULLY GROWN 50+ YEAR OLDS arguing and bitching LIKE CHILDREN!) No, mom, it’s not the same. I was a child and not only did you not stop an abuser from harming me, you joined in. You allowed her access to me and you passed along what horrible things she said was wrong with me. “SHARON said she thinks YOU’RE BIPOLAR. Do you think you are?” “Sharon told me that you’re having AN EPISODE and are being mean to Faith! Show me your phone!” Erm? I’m thirteen? What do you expect me to do? “Well, I just don’t understand why you keep bringing this up when it happened so long ago. I just hope you can forgive her and move on.” You’re fucking disgusting. Should I go into detail about how many times I asked you to not interact with Sharon more than you needed to and you proceeded to try and force her into my life more? You KNEW how uncomfortable I was with you attending Faith’s wedding and yet, you cared more about how you looked and not only attended, but hosted both her wedding and wedding shower. I have always wondered why you never cared how I feel until I realized that you prioritize yourself and how you look to other people above anything and everyone. There is a clear pattern of behavior- - When I was 17 and you were berating me at your work for wanting to visit my friend up in Boston to see a concert together because “you just didn’t understand why I’d want to do that” and I started crying. You rolled your eyes and said “you better leave now if you don’t want my next client to see you crying because her appointment is in a few minutes.” You cared more about having your random client seeing me cry and potentially thinking you’re a bad mom than comforting me. - When I was 13 and we were saying our nightly prayer the night that I had my “therapy appointment” (aka, you and my “therapist” chastising me for writing in my diary that I was having suicidal thoughts), when you were praying you said “Dear God, please help (my name)… and… pLEASE HELP ME!!!!” Clearly, YOU were affected more than I was even though I was the one wanting to die because of you. Wow. Your life is so hard! - Telling everyone around you that I “have problems” and am “really struggling” so you can gain an ounce of sympathy. The way that your friends come up and talk to me is baffling. - Laughing about me with my friends in high school when I was out of the room- “hahaha my daughter is sooooo weird hahaha” - When I was 18 and you called my “therapist” (who did NOT get my consent before doing this and violated her ethical guidelines) after I moved out and stopped talking to you, you got her to help you write a list of “rules” to force me to stay in contact with you. They consisted of requiring me to “talk to you, dad, or my sister at least 1x/day” so you “knew that I was safe” aka, you wanted to control me even though I was an adult and not living in your house. I was perfectly safe, and yet you made me sound like I was doing drug deals in the morning, prostituting myself after lunch, and had plans to commit felonies later that night. I went to school, ate, and went back to my apartment. You had no right manipulating me into talking to you by using my therapist, dad, and sister against me. Pathetic. - Telling me to go do my runs on a strange man’s property instead of the road because it’s “safer.” Dad said that this man who I’VE NEVER MET told him that “there are bad people out there who will kidnap her and do horrible things to her, SO INSTEAD she should run on MY property!” Not sketchy or rapey at all, right? And completely dismissing me when I said that made me uncomfortable by saying “my dad knows him”? Lady, do you know any rape statistics? Clearly not, because you’d then know that only 7% of assaults are strangers while 93% are family members or acquaintances. NINETY THREE PERCENT. The amount of times that I’ve mentioned someone made me uncomfortable or had a massive affect on me as a child and you’ve replied with “Oh, well did they touch you?” People don’t have to touch me to traumatize me. You’re pathetic for thinking that.
I’m not mad at Chloe. I don’t feel any anger or ill will towards her at all. She was a child just like I was a child. She was failed more than I was failed. No child acts that way and assaults other children without learning that from somewhere. I blame her parents for what happened to her. I blame YOU for what happened to me. I vividly remember things that my aunt would say the same time this was happening about little girls and their bodies and I want to smash my head against the wall. Children are to be protected above anything and everything else, by you didn’t. Do I hate Faith and think that she’s a bad person because of what happened when we were 13? No. I fully blame you and Sharon. The amount of adults that have failed me in my life keep me up at night. I think about how different my life would be had dad been more involved and seen what was going on and taken me away from you. I am angry with him for that. I dream one day I will be able to sit down with him and tell him everything I have written about and he will hug me, support me, cry with me, and apologize for not being there more to protect me. But who knows, he might defend his child abusing, mentally ill wife and say I’m making up everything. Who knows.
Do you want to know what my sister said when I told her all of this? She apologized to me for not being 15 years older than I am so she could have raised me instead. I want you to sit here and think about how fucked up that is. My own sister wishes she could have taken me away from you so you couldn’t have abused me. I imagine the pressure she must have felt having to grow up while also raising her mother and sister and I sob for her. I’ve sobbed for me for the mental anguish and torture I experienced at your hands. I’ve even sobbed for you because I can’t imagine being even a fraction of how fucked up you are to resort to abusing and neglecting your child- a child you begged to have. A child you had trouble having and prayed for. Embarrassing.
I’m never going to have a relationship with you again. If God is willing, I will never have to interact with you ever again. Saying that phrase “if God is willing” is ironic because you forcing me to pray my problems away rather than helping me led me to not believe in him. How can I believe in something that also neglected me? I’d sit in my dark bedroom night after night praying and sobbing for him to help me. I didn’t know what was happening to me, but I felt broken and alone. I now know that I was a child praying for God to take away my PTSD, and that is not possible. My heart breaks for that child.
You’re a pathetic excuse for a mother and human being. I’m truly shocked that I survived you and your abuse. I’m surprised that I didn’t ever try to kill myself to try and get away from you because you’re a vulture that prays on innocent people. The only important people in your life are people you think will give you something or will make you look good. That’s why you refused to ever cut ties with Sharon, you knew she was sexually abused as a child and you couldn’t POSSIBLY NOT be her friend because you need her to be your “friend,” or rather, your token sexually abused as a child friend. I genuinely hope that you get better and become a normal healthy person but I won’t ever be around to see it. I hope you feel even a fraction of the pain and abandonment that I have felt my entire life. Happy Mother’s Day, but today isn’t Mother’s Day for me, it’s Daughter’s Day. Moving far away from you one month ago has truly saved my life. Instead of trying to survive, I am enjoying my life. I would have died in that house. I get to finally celebrate being away from you and celebrate myself for staying strong and fighting when I could have easily given up. You once told me “you feel like I HATE you!” to guilt me into fawning over you and telling you how much I loved you, but now you get the opposite. I DO hate you and hate how you have permanently changed me and I wish to never see you again. Instead of praying for the “God forsaken, atheist, lost, evil, liar, miserable, spiteful, hateful, disgusting, mentally ill, “autistic” daughter, pray for yourself. Pray for God’s forgiveness for emotionally, medically, physically, sexually, and religiously abusing and neglecting me. You deserve to remain in your "clueless" state of "having NO IDEA what you did wrong to make her stop talking to me!" for the rest of your life.Happy Daughter’s Day.

Hey everyone, I’m a 22 year old guy. Over the past 2 months I’ve had so many symptoms come up and I feel like I’m getting no answers. I’m tired, so emotionally exhausted. My mother had surgery to have her sigmoid removed last week and with everything going on I’m just losing hope. I need to be there for her, but I’m stuck dealing with some shit that no one else can even see. Luckily we are staying with my grandparents at the moment. My grandma is such a big help. I don’t know how I’d be at home.
I’ve started having severe anxiety so I’ve started some medication for that and a beta blocker for my physical symptoms. With all the side effects of medication, me laying in bed all day and all these symptoms, I can’t tell what’s going on :/ i need to know what’s wrong with me and I’m so scared they will never find out.
I’m scared I will go through all this testing for them to tell me it’s just anxiety or something. I’ve lived in my body for 22 years. I KNOW SOMETHING IS WRONG. Luckily I have a good doctor and a nurse that are very nice and helpful. They make the process easier but it’s still the hardest thing I’ve ever dealt with. My whole life is on pause while everyone I know is just going on with life with school and work. It’s so frustrating because I’ve always been highly motivated and organized. Now I’m barely eating and showering.
I never thought I’d be bedridden, not working and stopping school at 22 :/ I don’t mean any disrespect by this post, truly truly. I know I don’t have a diagnosis so I don’t want to come off as some asshole on the internet. Im just so tired. Went from MMA, running races, school, work to bedridden from anxiety and these mystery symptoms. I’ve never cried so much in my life as I have the last month

I just passed 3 months last Thursday. I was reflecting about them and thought I’d post here.
Basically, this story starts in 2017 when I (at the time 315 lb 49 F) had a health challenge and changed to a low carb unprocessed (also no sugar no grains ) way of eating. I went from 315 lbs at five foot one to about 203 and then maintained that loss for about three years before the effects of plateau and regain started. Over the next 6 years I regained about thirty pounds which is a miracle considering any other time I’d lost weight, I regained it all and more in months not years.
I educated myself and realized that since only about 2% of people can maintain a weight loss of 10% of their body weight for a year because of the body defence of the higher weight. Hormones make people think they are hungry and need to eat more so they don’t starve to death even though they aren’t starving. These concepts are ones that appear in peer reviewed literature from several sources so I’m not making it up.
While I was a unicorn because I was able to maintain for several years, I believe because with the low carb unprocessed diet, I wasn’t also having high/low blood sugar - this is my theory based on a discussion with a dietician that told me a theory about some people and how they don’t have to be actually hypoglycaemic to have the effects of it ( ie. eating compulsively to bring up sugars). Still, the odds were greatly against me maintaining this loss. When I started experience difficulties in reversing little weight gains, I asked for a referral to a bariatric clinic so I could try things other than lifestyle changes.
Bariatric assessment process wasn’t good for me but in the end it was established that I’m not a good candidate for drugs, there was no point to optifast since I’d already made drastic lifestyle changes, and that my options were probably regain and surgery.
Since I had not screwed up my lifestyle changes, but was battling my body trying to get me to eat more, surgery became the obvious answer.
I was warned that I might not lose much more weight than the amount I’d regained since that amount represents almost thirty percent loss from my former top weight.
Now I’m 56 and post menopause. I was ok with this as long as I was able to maintain my loss more easily. I did not relish the idea of aging as a three hundred plus pound short woman ( getting shorter). I don’t need to be skinny either. I honestly don’t care at this point about my body size since even with my regain my mobility wasn’t hampered and my chronic health issues stayed resolved. Honestly , I haven’t even really noticed my weight loss in any meaningful way because I was already living better. I believe the meaning of health at any size means this. My body size only matters to the extent that I think it does and that includes that I don’t have to be a size zero to be healthier.
I had RNY surgery three months ago. Weight loss has been relatively slow but I’m happy to say that despite some small hitches like throwing up in the early days and low hemoglobin post surgically which has since resolved.
I was completely grossed out by protein supplements so the two weeks following surgery were tough. My surgeon encouraged me to eat according to textures ( which isn’t what the handbook says).
I had no pain after the day of surgery, or since . Things are going pretty well. I’d hoped to have more of a hormonal change to regulate appetite but despite feeling overfilled constantly, I’m losing weight, hitting protein goals with real food and the learning curve is getting less steep. My pre-surgery weight was 232 and this morning I was 194 so obviously it’s working for weight loss. I’m not under any illusion that this has been a perfect solution, but I’m happy to have my stress level lowered daily since my desire to eat is much curved and even if I want to eat, the threat of puking keeps me in line.
Weird things since:
As an Orthodox Jew who keeps kosher I’m having weird cravings for nonkosher foods which includes seafood ( which I’m allergic to!).
I hadn’t eaten sugar or artificially sweetened foods in almost 12 years and now I’m craving keto type sweets which I know affect my cravings. I’m not saying I’m indulging regularly but it’s odd to have the cravings.
Chicken strongly disagrees with me while red meats and lamb don’t.
I was mostly carnivorous prior but I often choose non-meat protein food items more now. I don’t really like beans but the other day I told my husband if he made a chickpea curry I’d eat it. BIZARRE. I am 100% getting all my protein in but beans are higher in carbs which worries me because my original health crisis seven years ago was diabetes related and I’ve been sub-clinical for 6 years. For me, I don’t actually believe in the concept of moderation so it’s disconcerting to say the least.
What’s really interesting is my general disinterest in food and eating. I know I have to eat and I know I have to prioritize protein. I have cravings regularly but ultimately I mostly eat to fill the hunger and don’t much care what as long as it fits the ‘get your protein in first’ model. In the end, since I don’t eat grains or other sweet things, this ultimately ends up looking like a diet of primarily animal protein, with vegetables and a bit of fruit thrown in. I’ve eaten a couple of keto protein bars but it’s not regularly.
For context, I used to be a serious foodie and a food professional and when I went low carb I cared much less. As long as my food was delicious and low carb and I wasn’t hungry, I didn’t care. Since surgery, some of the things i really enjoyed low carb have become sort of icky to me so I’m constantly revisiting what I like and don’t like. It’s a process 🤷🏻‍♀️.
Anyway, I have lots of homework to do ( one of the changes that happened seven years ago when my chronic health issues resolved, was my doctor suggested I go to nursing school) so I’m going to sign off but I wanted to share that though this is an imperfect process, it is one which I’m not sorry to have gone through. I sort of regret not doing it 20 years ago but on the other hand I guess I would not have been mentally ready had I done it much sooner than my health crisis, subsequent sustained weight loss and then learning how obesity actually works. On the other hand, I’m glad I was confident in my new lifestyle before I did it because i understood on a gut level what that meant.
If you read this far, thanks. Feel free to AMA.
Starting Weight 2017 was 315 Surgery weight was 232 ( Feb 2024) CW 194 GW- don’t really have one. I guess it was 203 since I was told I might not lose more than I regained.

I’m pursuing a B.S in Math. I do not have any academic research prospects, so I don’t plan on going to grad school. I plan on doing applied mathematics in industry, right now I’m most interested in mathematical modeling (nonlinear mixed effects modeling, etc).
I want to join an organization that gives workshops or applied math research opportunities for students. I managed to get a recommendation letter from one of my professors here at ASU, but because I don’t have much of an academic CV, all the programs I’ve tried applying for reject me. How am I supposed to get research experience if they all want research experience? I’m Persian as well, so I figured maybe there are organizations for Persians just as I have seen many for Hispanics, Indians, etc., but I haven’t had any luck finding any for Persians. Just my luck lol.
Does anyone have any suggestions?