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Deaf 40M Thoughts on Small Talk

2024.05.15 22:32 Ok_Inside_1721 Deaf 40M Thoughts on Small Talk

Hey, Healthy Gamers! I hope y’all are having a great day. I have been going through Dr. K’s ADHD Module, as well as his resource pack. He has some great videos on loneliness and communication that I thought were really good. I think for communication and small talk, Dr. K’s driving theme of showing interest in other people is THE best rule in creating small talk.
I am deaf with a Cochlear Implant. Even with bionic hearing, I only have maybe half of one ear, and my other ear is completely deaf. However, I have a college degree, have been able to work in customer service roles, and have had great conversations with a wide range of people in a wide range of places. I talked to a corrections officer from Wisconisn in Paris. I have also talked to credit card processors in Chicago. The number 1 way I have had small conversations is by asking questions about other people. I know Dr. K isn’t a fan of asking about other people’s work. But I have found that work makes a big part of who they are, and more often than not, if you show genuine interest in what they say and who they are, people really do open up about their work and lives.
But you have to show interest. In a way, my hearing disability makes this easy; my awareness of what people say depends if I am able to face them. I have see their lips; I have to lean forward a little. I cannot fake listening. So in a way, I have a leg up.
Of course, the hard part is, how do you start a conversation? You can’t just go, ‘Hey bro, what do you do?’ Or ‘Hey lady, what’s the best part of your job?’
Sometimes you just have to be open, and pleasant in demeanor, and people will start a conversation with you. But if you are alone, and you see the person next to you is alone, you can just ask, ‘Hey, it is a beautiful day, how was your day?’ Simple, starts a conversation, and they may (or may not) reply ‘Oh, my day was awesome, I sold the biggest jellyfish ever! How was your day?’ Then you can say, ‘Man, work was hard, but any day I can afford a pint, is a good day.’ maybe you say, ‘You sell jellyfish?!? I did not know that was a thing, plus I didn’t know there were jellyfish in Ohio!’
That is just one avenue. But it requires you to take advice from Dr. K and expand your awareness outside of yourself. A good thing about small talk at bars, or cafes, or even out at a social networking event, is a lot of the conversation is safe. Usually, people don’t get too deep and don’t expect you to either. It is a good way to get reps in on certain skills like: Breaking the ice, introducing yourself, and paying attention to people.
There are levels of communication. Small talk is a foundational skill that keeps the world moving. I know a lot of people hate it, but it really does produce social lubrication and can lead to deeper conversation. While I may not be great at other forms of communication (I am just learning how to utilize the phone, thank you subtitles!), that doesn’t mean you wouldn’t be able to go farther.
I feel blessed for being able to communicate with people a basic level. It just requires one to pay attention to other people, and be brave to ask questions. And Dr. K does have some other great small talk ice breakers, ‘What is something you want to learn this year?’ ‘Do you have any awesome trips planned?’ ‘What do you think of the jellyfish mafia in Ohio?’ I have had good success talking about what other people do, but there is a whole world to talk about.
Good Luck, Healthy Gamers!
I also used ai to help edit this post, any errors of writing are absolutely mine.
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2024.05.15 22:20 Spaceman1965 1950s Science Fiction Podcast Newsletter on The Man Who Japed by PKD.

Subject: Step into the Future with a Classic: "The Man Who Japed" Review 🚀
Hey there, fellow sci-fi enthusiasts!
It's your guide through the galaxies of imagination, the host of your favorite 1950s science fiction podcast. I've just wrapped up one of our most exciting journeys yet—a deep dive into the mind-bending world of Philip K. Dick with my latest book review of "The Man Who Japed."
In this nearly 30-minute episode, one of our longest to date, I peel back the layers of this classic tale, exploring its themes, characters, and the curious ideas that Dick masterfully weaves into his narrative. It's a session packed with insights and musings that I'm eager for you to hear.
As we ventured through this episode, I also marked a personal milestone—recording with the crisp clarity of my new Blue Ball microphone. I'm hoping your ears are as thrilled as I am with the enhanced sound quality. Your thoughts are invaluable to me, so please, let me know if you've noticed the difference!
I'm already gearing up for our next episode, but until then, I'd love to hear from you. Drop a comment, send an email, or reach out on social media. Your feedback is the fuel that keeps our podcast rocket soaring.
Don't forget to follow us on Twitter for the latest updates and use the comment section on your podcast platform to join the conversation.
Thank you for tuning in and for being a part of this interstellar community. Your support means the cosmos to me.
Stay curious and keep looking to the stars!
Edward German, Host of the 1950s Science Fiction Podcast
P.S. If you haven't listened to the latest episode yet, beam yourself over to our podcast and indulge in a session that's sure to jape your mind. 🌌
I hope this newsletter captures the essence of your podcast episode and entices your readers to tune in. If you need any further assistance or tweaks, feel free to let me know! https://vocal.media/futurism/the-1950s-science-fiction-podcast-s2-e3
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2024.05.15 22:09 lefthandconcerto My Review of The Pinhoe Egg (Spoilers Within!)

About six months ago, in November, I started my journey through the "Chronicles of Chrestomanci," which of course are not really a series as much as a collection of books which all take place in the same set of universes. I read everything in order of publication, posting my thoughts here each time, and with the completion of this book I am now all the way through these wonderful novels. Please forgive my lack of direct quotes this time--having read nothing else for fun besides these books for six months, I found my note-taking capacity to be somewhat diminished. Maybe in the future I'll write a more detailed review.
The Pinhoe Egg is the final Chrestomanci book, whether you're reading them in order of publication or chronologically. I have no doubt Diana Wynne Jones did not intend this to be a "series" with a beginning and end; rather, I assume she simply got several book ideas that took place in this world, and this happened to be the last time before she died. It is sheer luck, then, that this last book is a sort of grand culmination of them both thematically and narratively, and possibly the best of the lot.
We start, typically, with a new protagonist, Marianne Pinhoe, and a new locale, the small rural village of Ulverscote, located a stone's throw from Chrestomanci Castle and Helm St. Mary. I liked that we got a little more background about this area throughout the book. When I go back to reread Charmed Life, I'm looking forward to putting it all into this new context.
Marianne became a favorite character almost instantly, and I was hooked on her storyline right from the beginning. Jones has a typically virtuosic opening sequence, wasting no time in establishing the key characters and launching into a dreadfully funny episode telling of Marianne's grandmother (who is also a kind of matriarch or "Gammer" over all the Pinhoes) apparently abruptly developing dementia and being forcibly removed from her home. There is black comedy galore here, all painfully adjacent to the real experience of making arrangements for a feeble or senile parent, as when Gammer is so averse to leaving her home that she roots herself in the bed, complete with actual roots. Meanwhile, Gammer's brothers and many children squabble over who gets to live in her house and where her belongings will go.
I mentioned before how Jones is always surprising me with the variety of formal structures and writing styles she employs. I thought I had figured out her game here, and was sure it was going to be similar to Conrad's Fate, where a new protagonist gradually makes their way into meeting familiar characters. But of course, Jones neatly sidesteps all reader expectation and switches tracks suddenly a few chapters in, focusing on Cat Chant as a second, equal protagonist, and revealing this book to be, among other things, the true sequel to Charmed Life--published 29 real-life years later. Jones then begins alternating between Cat and Marianne unevenly, and sometimes even from sentence to sentence, as in Witch Week. Her sleight of hand is sly and clever, and the craftsmanship is remarkable. Hats off--each of the seven books in this series reads totally differently. Jack of all trades, master of all, our Diana.
Jones stacks on the themes this time. We of course get some of her usual preoccupations, particularly with that of unreliable families. The Pinhoes may be the worst of the lot, or at least the most upsetting, because while in most of the other books the dysfunction is obvious, things are more insidious here. The reader is actually led (through Marianne's obedient, rule-following perspective) to see Harry, Cecily, Gammer, and most of the uncles and aunts as well-meaning individuals who care for one another. However, as in Charmed Life (and Cat himself draws the comparison), as the book goes on and Marianne becomes more independent, it becomes increasingly difficult for her, and for us, to justify their cruel behavior. It is genuinely devastating when Marianne figures out what's going on halfway through the book, decides to approach the adults in her life about it, and is laughed off or outright punished by all of them. There is a familiar scene at the end of the book: Marianne's and Joe's talents are vindicated by Chrestomanci and they are given the opportunity to nurture their skills in an education apart from parents who hold them back by refusing to understand or accept them. Replace the current Chrestomanci with the previous acting Chrestomanci, Gabriel de Witt, and you have the same scene as the end of Conrad's Fate. The detail that Marianne and Joe still go home and see their parents regularly is brutally realistic, Marianne able to convince her mother to soften on some issues, but ultimately failing to truly connect with her father. This seems to me the ultimate conclusion of the obsession with family dynamics in the Chronicles of Chrestomanci--that your family will always be there, like them or not, whether or not a true understanding can ever be reached. I'm not ashamed to say I cried through the last couple chapters of the book, and found the first line Jones has written that made me audibly sob. This was a feeling from childhood I didn't even know I had forgotten:
[Marianne] was depressed and worried. Dad was never going to understand and never going to forgive her. And Gaffer had still not turned up. On top of that, school started on Monday week. Though look on the bright side, she thought. It'll keep me away from my family, during the daytime at least.
As in Conrad's Fate, the potential toxicity of religion crops up here, in a bigger way than ever. The last act of the book is barely disguised by its magical trappings: what we have here is a group of devout, religious conservatives, being shown the harmful effects of their actions, and blindly rejecting all of the proof and logic in front of them in favor of enforcing rules and laws that keep them comfortable. There is no doubt that the next generation of Pinhoes will be just as subject to the old traditions, in spite of Marianne and Joe breaking free. That the Reverend Pinhoe is portrayed as a hapless and kind man, ignorant to most of the wrongdoing in the village, does little to soften the point of Jones's pencil here. As I said, I was startled by how moved and devastated I was by this final section, recognizing all of the real-world pain in this fantastical setting.
Jones has always been steadfastly protective of those who cannot speak up for themselves, as with the character of Cat who finds it difficult to recognize and verbalize his feelings. This time, borrowing from a kind of Shinto animism, Jones includes the concept of Dwimmer, a magic that is focused on the life force within all creatures and plants. There is no debate where Jones stands on this--her deepest and most profound sympathies lie with Cat, who can't bear to imagine his horse Syracuse chopped into dog meat, who frets over Klartch's wellbeing when out of his sight, and who firmly refuses to apologize for releasing all the goblinlike fairy folk from their bindings. There is no direct intimation of endangered species, global warming, or human-caused environmental destruction in this book, as you might expect in this kind of setup (I suspect Jones was too clever to resort to trite metaphors). However, in a fascinating twist, a plot detail revolves around the Pinhoes and Farleighs erecting a barrier in the forest to contain the magical creatures, making the forest feel empty and incomplete in the process--a magical, but also literal, instance of deforestation. Motives of plants, herbs, and trees, both good and evil, carry through the book as well. Jason and Gaffer Elijah Pinhoe, as well as Cecily, are handy with plants and tend large gardens. The Farleighs' and Pinhoes' spells tend to take the form of small bags of weeds and branches as well. Interestingly, and insightfully, the natural world is portrayed as difficult as well: Gammer grows roots to impede her family's mission, and the vile Gaffer Farleigh morphs into a stubborn, gnarled, immovable petrified oak when Cat works a spell forcing him to assume his true form.
This was one of the most enjoyable books in the Chrestomanci series, and it was bittersweet to close the door on the Pinhoes. I like that the continuity between these books is vague and tenuous, so I'm free to imagine all sort of side goings-on, like what might happen to Marianne and Cat later in life, or whether Conrad and Christopher remained friends, or what Roger and Julia thought when their dad told them all about the events at the academy in Witch Week. Howl's Moving Castle is still the book closest to my heart, and will forever be the Diana Wynne Jones I read over and over, recommending to anyone unfortunate enough to strike up a conversation about books with me, but I am so glad that I found the time to welcome Chrestomanci and all his strange acquaintances into my heart, too.
Here's my personal ranking of the Chronicles of Chrestomanci, but please note I love all of these books and a low ranking does not mean I don't like the book. I have to put that there because there's always someone who doesn't understand that last place doesn't mean bad or worst. I'm not including the short stories individually because it's impossible for me to weigh a short story against a novel, whereas a large collection seems to make sense to me. I also must admit that the top three, especially the top two, were really difficult to place and I more or less love them equally.
  1. Conrad's Fate
  2. The Pinhoe Egg
  3. Charmed Life
  4. Mixed Magics
  5. The Magicians of Caprona
  6. Witch Week
  7. The Lives of Christopher Chant
My next Jones book will be -- drumroll, please -- Archer's Goon, though I'm taking a break for some adult reading during the summer. While I'm in a school semester I can pretty much only manage to read children's fantasy, so I'll see you all come August or September. :) Thanks to those of you who have been reading and following my journey from start to finish. I would love to chat more about this book and this series.
Oh, and finally... ALL SPOILERS ALLOWED!
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2024.05.15 22:09 inaneswine Heartstopper S3: Alice's Q&A on Tumblr (S3, Vol 4+5 spoilers)

So Alice did a mini Q&A on Tumblr today after Netflix dropped the teaser for S3. Tumblr is awful to try and navigate finding the Qs that go with the As, so I've just collected and posted them here. Spoilers ahead for S3, and Vol 4+5 of the comics!
how come you changed it from tank top to vest? lots of americans confused by vest 😅
because I thought about someone actually saying the phrase ‘tank top’ with a British accent and it sounded so weird and awkward in my mind, ‘vest’ was the more realistic word (at least for people from my region of England lol). Sometimes things that are written in the comic would actually sound quite awkward and odd if the cast said them out loud, so I change them!
Was that the full first scene or was it cut for the teaser?
it was cut for the teaser! The full scene is longer (and the billie song was just for the trailer!)
i’m in shock that billie let them debut a new song in it
ME TOO
are there any new photos added on charlie’s wall of him and nick together?
haha there are new photos in both rooms yes!
I’m so in love with the little trailer! My Question is: How did you feel, knowing you are dropping the trailer without anyone expecting something? 😄😍
i wished i could have teased it harder but because it was a collab (of sorts) with billie eilish’s team I didn’t want to do anything that might ruin it or not be what they wanted! 😅
I’m wondering if we’ll get a proper look at the new pictures in Charlie’s room at some point 🙇🏻‍♀️
of COURSE we shall
Not sure if you can answer this, and I could have a guess anyway, but is that trailer the complete moment or is the scene longer than that with more conversations that have been cut to make the trailer?
the scene is longer in the show, it had to be cut very short for the trailer!
was having tori's hair short from the get-go just for the sake of continuity or was there a.... deeper choice there..... i luv all the solitaire references in volume 4 sm so i'll take what i can get in the show hehe
so the thing about in-story haircuts in TV - they are a production nightmare. The show is filmed completely non-chronologically, so if Tori had long hair at the start, that would be a huge amount of extra work for the haimakeup department. It takes at least an hour to get an actor in or out of a wig. It just makes things very difficult and we always have an extremely hectic and tight schedule so we decided it’d be easier for her to just have short hair from the start!
I’m honestly so excited about s3. When you said that the ferris wheel scene was modified does that mean that the talk that Tori has with Charlie about her being asexual will that not be in s3?
yes that’s correct, I’m saving that story for S4 where I can build up to it much more effectively 🙏 you’ll see when you watch s3 that there just wasn’t the room to give that storyline the space it needs!
it was so amazing alice 😭 we cannot wait for more, we are all so beyond excited !!
one question : is there more to the opening scene, like will it have more dialogue between Tori & Charlie similar to the comics ? i assumed the opening scene was just cut that way to fit the 45 seconds teaser format and Billie Eilish's new song clip (HUGE congrats on tha btw oh my god ?? we were all so surprised and elated)
yayyyy I’m glad you enjoyed!! Yes that’s correct, the full scene is longer!
Have you considered filming season 2 and 3 one after another??
I could not have written the scripts in time, I barely managed to write the S2 scripts in time 😅
Of course we were all very excited!! Did this season feel different to make with the subject matter a bit darker and more mature? Can’t wait to see it!!!
yes definitely! Lots of new experiences and vibes on set. But I guess it’s an intense experience no matter what!
I know you already answered about the swearing but there's a debate on twitter rn so: will they say 'fuck', specifically?
yes 😂
ALICE IT WAS MAGICAL!! I CANNOT WAIT FOR PROMO TO START!!!
YAY same!!!!!
Not specifically about the trailer, but when you started writing season three did you already know by that point Olivia would not be available or did you have to do re-writes to take Sarah out of the story?
I knew it was a possibility but it wasn’t confirmed until very close to the shoot. I had to do some quite intense last minute rewrites 😅 but I’d already thought about what I’d do in that scenario so I was somewhat prepared!
The trailer was so lovely, it made my whole week! I love the brother-sister moments with Tori and Charlie; Joe and Jenny are so great together on screen. Will we get to see Tori and Nick interact more in this season?
a little yes! 💖
will there be a s3 music playlist on spotify?? or will the s3 music get added to the current playlist?? that would be amazing!!!💕🍂
I’m sure someone will make an s3 playlist!! Netflix control the Heartstopper Spotify playlists so it’ll be up to them!
do you feel like this season uses social media (inside the narrative) more or less than season 2? i love how important it was to the story for s2 and the way it was shown on screen - was there more or less present in s3?
difficult to say… there’s a fair bit of it for sure but maybe not as much as S2? Not sure tho!
why did you decide to change the line from tank top in the comics to vest ? did it just make more sense regionally that he would say vest ? (genuinely curious!)
indeed, ‘tank top’ just didn’t sound like something a British teen boy would say! Sometimes the things I write in the comic sound awkward when they’re spoken out loud by a real person 😂
Joe and Kit’s ability to make heart eyes is truly unparalleled. They deserve all the awards.
Could not be more excited for season 3!!!
One question that I’m sure you’ve answered but I’m not sure where - do you do the animations for the show? The “I love you” in the promo looked like a new style and I liked it a lot! Just curious. Thanks for everything 🥰
the animations are done by an animator named Anna Peronetto! She is brilliant!!
can you tell us anything about the artists that will be part of this season's soundtrack?
I’d say there are some heartstopper classics but also a bunch of new artists! Sorry to be vague, I don’t want to spoil 🥺
This is random and about season 1, but can you settle a debate about what exactly the snow was made of in the snow day scene? 🙃❄️
pretty sure it was a mix of foam and powder depending on what it was used for 🤔
Will the rating be higher? It is 12 usually but with season 3 being described with mature themes will it become a 15? Can't bwlieve we are in the season 3 era already!
I believe it depends on country and it’s not up to me, but the rating is likely to increase yes, mostly due to slightly more swearing, sex scenes, and mental health themes. I think it really edges the border between a 12 and a 15 in the UK so I’m really not sure how it’ll be rated!
Also, do you have a favorite episode yet? 👀
I love every episode of s3 truly, but I think ep 4 is something special and maybe the best heartstopper ep I’ve written across all three seasons!! Very proud of it 💖
seriously cannot describe how excited I am for s3 - when filming and editing scenes with michael and tori is it really strange to see them on screen when they were really the first two main characters you wrote about?? what was that like seeing them actually come to life? (also i am the self proclaimed most excited for michael to appear, cannot wait to see how darragh portrays him as he seems amazing!!)
so so strange!!! But wonderful! They’re my firstborns and it’s strange to see them here while also not really seeing the full story that we know they have. Darragh and Jenny are amazing and I can’t wait for you to see them together on screen 🥹 the first moment you see them together is SO special, it almost makes me cry every time
I know Jonathan bailey has said he reached out through a mutual friend about joining heartstopper. If you are able to answer, what came first; Jonathan bailey or jack/Henry Maddox? (Aka, was that character and scene always going to be included in the series? - i love that mini comic so much!)
Henry Maddox has been around for a couple of years now!! When Jonathan told us he wanted to be involved, me and Wren (who created Henry Maddox!) thought this would be the perfect role for him and a great opportunity for a more comedic sequence in the show (while also tying him into some of the themes of that specific ep… but now I’m getting too spoilery) ! (And obvs we had to change the name due to Henry the pug)
I'm curious about the scenes with Geoff. In the comics they're mostly mentioned instead of shown in detail. Will we get to see bits of Charlie's therapy sessions, or will they be shown in a sort of montage?
we will see some!
with the teaser clip saying coming October 3th does that mean the season won’t be spilt in two parts? 🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼
as far as I know, it won’t!
what was the confusing situation with ur insta stories from a few days ago 😭
So I thought the image was a deliberate tease from Netflix - turns out it was actually a mistake so I deleted my stories. Then they emailed to say I could leave up my stories if I wanted to, but I’d already deleted them 😅
Hey Alice, not a question but just wanted to apologise again for what I said about the spoilers the other week. I didn't think about the costumes and sets. I have felt bad about being so silly ever since! I was just hoping to try and help you feel a even a tiny bit better 💜 super super excited for S3! Heartstopper is one of my special interests and brings me a huge deal of comfort on tough days 🥰 it's a beautiful world you have created 🥹
omg please don’t feel bad, I wasn’t at all annoyed or mad at you!! You have nothing to worry about and you definitely did all make me feel a bit better after that happened 💖 Thank you for loving and supporting Heartstopper, it really means so much!! 💖💖💖
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2024.05.15 21:48 Nora_Clybourn [RF] Will for Adventure

Part 1
Chicago, 2016. Flinn Gerald is doing his best to make it in the city. Born in Selma, Alabama, he has spent his entire life trying to escape the ever tightening grasp of his small town. But alas, he made it out and is adapting to life in the big city. With a big fancy corporate job, an endless supply of friends, an apartment with a stunning view of the lake, and great distance from his family, what more could he need? Well, there is a lot more (or less) that he needs, but of course that is a story for later.
On a typical Tuesday night at a bar, the regulars crowd in. Flinn is late, as usual, as he stayed late at work (again), but on his arrival, the cheers and hugs from all the friends make everyone forget of the regular inconvenience. Conversation ensued, starting with all the boring finance jargon, but as the drinks flowed, so did the conversation, moving away from work and more into life. This is what everyone preferred.
“Another round, anyone?” asked Raheem, enthusiastically. After a murmur of concurrence, he stood up to make his way up to the bar. “Flinn, care to lend a hand?”
Raheem Bartlett was Flinn’s college roommate and the first person he met outside of his hometown. The pair hit it off instantly despite having wildly different backgrounds. Even in their freshman year, the engineer and the finance major would get into all sorts of trouble together, but eventually they leveled out. Six years later, they still have each other’s backs just like day one.
The pair made their way up to the bar and waited to get the bartender's attention. “What's up with you, bro?” asked Raheem. “You’ve been seeming a bit off.”
“Oh, ya know. Work, life, everything kinda happens so fast. Work has been busy as of late, and the hours long.”
Seeming displeased by this answer, Raheem stared back in concern.
“Really, I’m fine… just long hours.”
“Back in school you’d pull back to back all-nighters and then still make it to a morning class. I find it hard to believe that the mighty Flinn would be so setback by ‘long hours’.”
Flinn took a moment to ponder, staring down at the bar covered in various stamps and postcards beneath the epoxy surface. “I guess, ya know, it's not all it was cracked up to be. I guess I had expected more.” Flinn had mostly dropped his accent, but occasionally it would still slip out.
Despite coming from a long line of mill workers (mostly paper) and farm hands who never ventured further than the Dallas county line, Flinn yearned to leave his small town and conquer the world from a young age. Coming from the poorest county in Alabama, his family always squashed his dreams, labeling them as impossible. But Flinn knew better. Or, at least he knew he could do better. Graduating top of his class a year early and winning a full-ride scholarship to Northwestern University, he had proved everyone wrong and set his own path. The path he was told was impossible became his reality.
“More what?”
“Nothing, really. I mean, what more is there? This is what I always wanted, right? The stable job in the city, never having to worry about money. It’s great, and I couldn’t be more grateful, but… something is missing. Doing the same thing day after day staring at a screen, moving clients money around. I… just hoped it would be more fulfilling, especially after all it took to get here.”
Before he could finish his thought, the bartender came up to take their order: another round for the table, plus a round of shots, plus two more shots.
“What am I saying, really?” added Flinn. “I shouldn’t be complaining. Look at where I am now compared to six years ago. So much has changed. My home, friends, even my diet. I just feel a bit off. Like I need something more to do..
“I get it, bro. Adjusting to your new life can be rough. Enjoy it for a minute or two.” Raheem slides a shot in front of Flinn. “Here, take this.”
Tuesday had become fairly consistent to this point for this group of misfits: Raheem and his girlfriend Amy; Jack; Jasper, from Flinn’s firm, and his wife Max; and of course, Flinn. For nearly two years, these six have been meeting at O’Malley’s every Tuesday night for drinks and trivia. Some nights are more wild than others, but Tuesday has become the staple of the week among them.
Drinks flowed pretty regularly and heavy over the next few hours as the clock approached the end of day. Still going round for round on alternating tabs, the useless debates began to heat up.
“You can’t seriously think Wicker Park is the best neighborhood outside the Loop. Y’all need to get out more,” said Flinn.
“Bro it’s obviously Wicker Park,” argued Raheem.” Right on the blue line, getting to O’Hare is insanely easy, plus you can’t find better music in the city. Besides, Wicker Park has Davenport’s.”
“No one ever says Wicker Park,” adds Jack. “Have you ever heard someone say Wicker Park before?”
“Dude, but you can obviously get to O’Hare from anywhere in the city,” said Flinn
“Sure, but beats walking through that dumb Block 37 Center transfer like you and your red line. No transfer is the way to go, plus the blue line gets you right to the center of the loop.”
“So does every other L line as long as ya don’t mind walking a few blocks!”
“You’re both wrong,” adds Max. “Neither matters because Midway is better anyways.”
“Woah!” the whole table murmurs, sharing shocked looks as if she just confessed to a crime. Flinn rolled his eyes at this notion.
“Who flies out of Midway?” asks Raheem.
“What? Less people, cheaper flights, and more space. Why wouldn’t I fly out of Midway?” said Max.
“Wait, wait, that aside,” interrupts Raheem, “can we go back to the fact that Jasper thinks Sheffield is the best neighborhood? I feel like we moved past that too quickly.”
The debate rages on for many more minutes, until Flinn, seemingly out of nowhere, had enough.
“Can y’all just shut the fuck up! Why does it even matter?” Everyone’s glance quickly shot over to Flinn as a deafening silence overtook the table. Everyone pondered how to respond, and couldn’t seem to find an answer. This behavior from Flinn was unexpected, nay, unheard of. Flinn was the most level headed amongst them by far. Not even Raheem, his best friend of six years, had ever seen him get angry, let alone over an inconsequential friendly argument. “I…” Not even Flinn knew what to say next. “I’m going to go home. Long day tomorrow.” Already on his feet, he quickly walked away from the table and out the door.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The walk home was fairly brisk, but Flinn had grown fond of the cold. He tucked his hands into his coat pocket and hunched his shoulders forward, only looking down at the pavement ignoring the mostly asleep but still wide awake city surrounding him. His thoughts ran wild and near out of control. Of course, his intoxication did not help with clarity, but the inner dialogue was deafening. Not even he knew what was bothering him, but he was obviously bothered, deeply. He made a fool of himself in a way he never had before, and right now he felt he did not recognize himself. Surely some sleep will help, right?
He slowly made his way down the steps to the platform, carefully watching each step as to not fall, to wait for his train. He posted up against a pillar and stared off onto the dark, empty tracks. What has gotten into me? He did his best to calm his racing, wasted mind searching for some legibility amongst his thoughts.
Once he finally got home, he slumped down on the couch and scarfed down some week-old sushi he found in the fridge. He turned on some old documentary and was asleep before he knew it.
Suddenly, he was woken up by his phone ringing. It usually does not ring this time of night and was less than thrilled to be woken, so he let it keep ringing. It stopped after a couple of seconds, and he glanced down at the screen:
Mama
(2) missed calls
Dad
(1) missed call
Now concerned, he calls his mom back in a hurry. “Hello?”
“Flinn? Your grandfather, he’s dead.”
Part 2
The wet air engulfed Flinn’s face as he stepped out the airport doors into a warm February day. Six years had passed since he smelled the Alabama air. Even after all this time, it still smells just as he had remembered as if not even a day had passed. The drive to Selma was another ninety minutes, and despite having five days to mentally prepare himself for his arrival, it was not nearly enough time. He had not seen or spoken to anyone from his town, not even family, since he left early that August morning all those years ago. He left everything behind to start his new life. The life so many told him to not start, that he needed to stay. He left anyway and never looked back.
That was, until now. He had little choice in this regard. He knew he would have to make his return someday, but he knew not when nor for what. But today was that day. Flinn and his grandfather (Pops) had always been close. If anyone had been supportive of him, it’d have been Pops, but he was a man of little words. Even when he could talk, he hardly chose to. He was a great listener, and not just because he could not speak. He showed he was engaged and listening no matter what Flinn had to say. At times, he felt Pops was the only one who understood him as if he had been just like him before, but no one would ever talk about his past. All Flinn knew is Pops lost his tongue after a failed lynching.
The familiarity of the scenery zipping past was bittersweet. He had not realized how much he missed the rolling hills and thick forests beneath the unforgiving southern sky. He kept his head pressed against the cool glass of the car window even through the constant bumps in the road. He couldn’t look away. So many memories happened here, and the closer he got, the more plentiful the memories became, and the more potent they were, and the more painful they’d become.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As the dust settled behind him, he stood on the driveway staring at his childhood home still unsure how to process his emotions. It was all so overwhelming. He was thinking everything at once. He took a deep breath, rolled back his shoulders, and swallowed. He reached for the door handle, hesitating slightly, and took a step in. One foot, and then the next.
“Martin!” Flinn smiled as his old friend and childhood dog rushed towards him without hesitation. He knelt down and embraced him as Martin excitedly rustled through his arms seemingly showing more energy than he had in years.
He walked down the hall and around the corner into the living room. There, both drawn to the large television like moths to a flame, he saw his parents sitting beside one another on the couch watching some daytime program with their backs to him. They seemed to pay no notice to the commotion at the front door nor the loud creaking footsteps he took along the old wooden floors. They knew he was there; they just chose to ignore him. He walked into view to greet them. "Mama, dad." His father smiled slightly but caught himself and refrained.
Mama kept a straight face, but seemed to be fighting tears."Howard, help Flinn with his bags, dear."
“No, it's alright, I know where to take them,” said Flinn. “How are y’all?”
“Service is tomorrow at eleven down at the ole First Baptist Church. Make sure to wear something nice.”
“Alright, mama. I’ll... I’ll see you at dinner.”
“Whole family is coming tonight. Dinner is served at...”
“At seven, I got it, just as always.”
“It’s good to see you, kid.” said his dad. “Let me know if you need anything”
He did not expect things to go like that, not that he knew what to expect. He had hoped time would have been more forgiving. Perhaps leaving unannounced in the middle of the night was not the best plan, but at the time he felt as if he had no other choice. Everyone knew he was leaving. That was no secret and had not been for years before any plan had actually been set into motion. No one knew the date or time, except for Pops, of course, but he’d never tell. Of course he wanted everyone to know. He wanted everyone to be proud of him, but it was too big of a risk and commendations were too much to expect. Besides, Mama always had her schemes, and had she known, she would have found a way to stop him.
Not much had changed since he’d been here last. The old wood paneling still lined nearly all the walls, crack in some spots, replaced in others, but all coated by decades of cigarette soot. On the walls were a combination of family portraits from over the years and cheap artwork found at the flea market. Old green furniture, too many house plants to count, and a tacky themed kitchen, it was all still the same.
His childhood bedroom, however, was much different. Hardly even recognizable, what was once his bedroom was now a storage room filled with endless shelves and boxes. He set his things on the lonely cot in the corner, sat down, and took it all in.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Not realizing he had drifted off, Flinn awoke and looked at the clock. 6:55. Convenient. He sat up and brushed his hair down with his hand as he suspected it was sticking up in the usual way. He rubbed his eyes and made his way to the dining room. The whole family was there, probably about twenty people or so, all scattered about throughout the kitchen, dining room, and living room engaged in various conversations. His nana, aunt, and Mama were cooking away putting the final touches on the large meal.
“Well if it isn’t this fucker…” said a familiar voice to his left, laughing. Flinn looked over to see his cousin who’s just a year younger than him.
“DeAndre, how are you?”
“Never thought I’d see you again, even since you left. Thought maybe you ‘ood be dead.”
“Nah,” Flinn laughed. “Still very much alive.”
“I can see dat. Wearin’ your fancy suit and all.”
“Yeah I’ve been doing pretty well. Work has been… good. I have a great job at a finance firm in Chicago. Everything has been… Good. Yeah, good. How about you?”
“Now you ain’t goin’ city on us, are you?”
Flinn laughed. “I think I might already be.”
Just as dinner was finishing up, a line started to form and people found a seat wherever they could, be it at the table, on the couch, near the counter, or outside.
“Flinn!” his dad called out. “I saved ya a seat here at the table, kid.”
Flinn took his seat right next to his dad which positioned him right across from Mama. The table could sit eight, and the seats filled in pretty quickly so he was lucky to get one. Besides his sister, all of the oldest family members took the other four chairs.
The dinner itself was mostly uneventful, except for the food of course which was extraordinary. Flinn had not eaten Mama’s cooking, or anything like it in six years. The southern food in Chicago was alright, but nothing like what you can get down here, and no restaurant is going to have the same quality and taste as a home-cooked meal. By God, he had not realized how much he needed this. It was almost healing, like a part of his soul had been lost and he found it once again. The last week had been incredibly overwhelming, and last Saturday he never foresaw being here now, but he was glad he was, regardless of the looming tension. All the stress from work and life back home in Chicago was now all gone. All he had to worry about was… oh yeah, the family drama. The dreaded interactions, what he had suppressed for so long, that had kept him up at night for years. All those long nights doing homework or anything else beside sleeping. They had not been by choice but rather necessity. He would have slept more if he could, and some of those nights he really needed to, but instead was kept motivated by the pain. The pain of knowing no matter what he did, no matter how successful in life he became, he would never be good enough for his family, good enough for Mama, because he left them.
If there ever was a time to clear his conscience and get everything out of the way, it would be today, or at least over the next couple of days. When else would he have the chance? Not that any of this had been planned, and his therapist would probably advise against it. She did not even know he was here. What would she have to say? Avoiding conflict has always been his choice. He has always been quiet, never been at the center of drama, but some things need to be said. Just, maybe not by him. If he waited long enough, perhaps they would come up on their own. So he decided to wait, but he knew time was limited and he could not wait forever.
“Mama, could you pass the butter?”
Mama just stared back at him. “Get ya own damn buttah, since ya can do everything else on ya own.”
Flinn stands up and reaches for the butter. “I can do everything myself, and I have. I hope you’re proud, Mama.”
“Proud? What do I have to be proud of?”
“Oh, I don’t know, maybe my job, my degree, everything I have been able to do to build a good life for myself.”
“I don hear anything worthy of praise.”
“I’m sorry to hear that, Mama.”
“Oh, so now you’re sorry? You could’ve fooled me. Is that how you felt when you left? Unbelievable.”
“I left because I had no other choice.”
“Oh don go lyin’ to me now. You did have a choice. You had a choice and you chose to leave us. You didn’t say goodbye, and you were just gone in the mornin’.”
“If I had not just left, you would’ve stopped me.”
“Cause you ain’t got no reason to go nowhere.”
“I had plenty of reasons to want to leave, and not because of you. I’ve always had dreams, Mama, ya know that. I’ve always been bigger than just this town.”
“Oh, so now you’re too good for us, city boy? Huh? I don wanna hear no more of it.”
“It wasn’t about that, Mama. Look at all I’ve been able to do.”
“I ain’t see nothin’. You never call and you never visit. How am I supposed to know what you been doin’?”
“I thought you didn’t want me coming around any more?”
“Well, you’ve got that right. Glad to see you still have some brains left.”
“Well excuse me. Maybe it's best if I leave again. Sorry I ain’t make you proud, Mama.” Flinn got up and left the table.
Part 3
Just as the early light began to peak through the blinds, Flinn was woken up by a firm knock at his door. “Flinn, may I come in? It's Uncle Terrence.”
Flinn sat up and rubbed his eyes. “Yep, come in.”
“How are you this morning, kid? Ya know, she’ll never admit it, but ya Mama missed ya.”
“I find it hard to believe.” Deep down Flinn knew it was true, but she was hard as a rock, and arrogant. She would always find a way to be right, even when she knew she was wrong, and she would never let you know she knew she was wrong.
“Well, we’re all proud of you, kid.” Flinn hated when Terrence and everyone called him kid. “Just wish yoo’d come around and see us every once in a while. I know ya busy with all the big city stuff and all.”
“I thought no one wanted anything to do with me any more?”
“At first, maybe, but I miss ya, kid. Ya know who missed ya most of all?”
“Pops?”
“Yes, of course. He always wanted to know about ya, every time I’d come round. He couldn’t call, but always wanted me to.”
“I should have called.”
“I think everyone wanted to call, but as time went on, it became harder and harder to push that button. It was already so hard at first, and only got harder.”
“I thought about everyone a lot, especially at first. Leaving was really hard, and I almost didn’t, but I always wanted more. I didn’t want to spend my whole life in this town, and if I had not left when I did I probably never would have. But it was still hard. I wanted to go home so many times, but I convinced myself no one wanted me here no more or that y’all would’ve said ‘I told ya so’ or sum bullshit. No one wanted me around any more and I had left, so I was stuck on the path I chose. And I’m happy, and I’ve done so much, but it’s never been easy.”
“Pops was a lot like you when he was your age. Set on leaving as quickly as he could. Things were different back then, not that they are any better now, but Hank... my brother… Pops, was just like you.”
“What changed?”
“Well, he never did. Just no one talks about it anymore. After what happened on that day, they blamed his behavior. Said he should’ve played it safe and he’d still have his tongue.”
“No one has ever told me the story.”
“And they won’t. It changed the whole family.”
“But you’ll tell me?”
“Only if you promise not to tell. I don need an earful from ya Mama.”
“I promise.”
“Hank couldn’t be confined to Selma, just like you. He joined the army right out of high school, and after he was done in Lebanon, he didn’t go straight home.”
“Where did he go?”
“Everywhere but here. He used the small amount of money he got from the army and went anywhere that would let him in. Across Europe, parts of Asia, Northern Africa, even parts of South America. Of course, a young black man traveling by himself at the time was challenging, but Hank could hold his own pretty well. He still ran into all sorts of trouble. He spent more nights in jail than he would have liked, but he would have done it all again if he could.”
“What happened when he got back?”
“He was much different, but for the better. He couldn’t wait to get back out there again. He had confidence like I had never seen before. That’s what got him in trouble not too long after.”
“How’d he lose his tongue? I’m guessing that is what changed everything.”
“When he got back, he got involved with a girl, I think her name was Susan. She was the mayor’s daughter. They snuck around for a while. Their relationship was not acceptable, especially to her father. If he found out, Hank would be in a lot of trouble, and of course eventually he did find out. He spent about a month in jail in just awful conditions even for the time. They didn’t have anything to hold him on so eventually they had to let him go. About a week after he got out, he was walking downtown and some guys grabbed him. He took him out to a field and tried to lynch him. Luckily, they failed and he survived, but they took his tongue as a warning. He was never the same after that. All of his confidence was gone, and of course he couldn’t speak no more.”
Flinn did not know how to respond. It all made sense now: why the family so desperately wanted him to stay, why they were so hurt by him leaving, and why they’d feared who he was becoming. They were all traumatized and wanted to protect him. They did not want him to suffer the same fate as Pops.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The funeral itself was fairly uneventful and went nearly as perfectly as expected. The church filled in with hardly any empty seats, tears were shed, and speeches were given. Pops touched the lives of almost everyone he met, and they came to show it. After the service was the reception, and yet again, the food was spectacular. Everyone got along just fine today and there was no more residual drama, at least for now. Today was Pops’ day.
After the reception, the family gathered back at Mama’s house for the reading of the will. Pops did not have many possessions, at least not of monetary value, but what he did have was meaningful in other ways. He was very clear on who he wanted to give off, and handpicked what would be most substantial to each person.
Everyone gathered around much as they did at dinner, and the lawyer began his reading:
I, Hank Gerald, a resident in the City of Selma, County of Dallas, State of Alabama, being of sound mind, not acting under duress or undue influence, and fully understanding the nature and extent of all my property and of this disposition thereof, hereby make, publish, and declare this document to be my Last Will and Testament, and hereby absolutely revoke any and all other wills and amendments previously made by me.
The reading went on for some time as there were many beneficiaries. Flinn began to daydream about what could be left for him. Flinn was not a very sentimental person, so trinkets and heirlooms paid him little interest. Perhaps his car, or maybe money. Something that will be useful to him.
To my dear brother, Terrence, I leave my 1964 Pontiac GTO and all tools and parts associated and necessary with/for the running and upkeep of the vehicle.
The further down the list he went, less was given, but this is to be expected. As the end of the list neared, Flinn began to wonder what would be left for him if anything at all. The will had been in order of age, to this point, so he should be up soon.
To my Granddaughter, Nia,...
Nia? She's younger than me… Flinn thought.
I leave her my grandmother’s locket containing a picture of my Grandfather before he left for the Great War. She looked at it everyday to keep the memory of him alive until he eventually returned to her alive.
How could he skip me? Perhaps I should have called, or never left. Flinn got lost in his own thoughts and barely paid attention to the rest of the will. He and Pops were so close, and he never imagined he would be taken out of the will. But that is my own fault, afterall. I left, and I never even care to call. He died, and I never even said goodbye.
Just as Flinn began to accept the consequences of his actions, they got to the last beneficiary listed in the will:
Finally, to my oldest Grandson, Flinn, who is more and more like me than I ever could have wished to have been, I leave my journal. I hope whenever you need the motivation, you read it to find the meaning you are looking for in life.
Part 4
Flinn sat at his desk unable to focus. It was fairly slow for a Friday, but he still had work to do. After a chaotic weekend back home in Alabama, he was ready to settle back into his monotonous routine. The experience had been healing in some regards, but still left a lot unanswered. What did he mean by finding the meaning in life? Flinn wondered as he flipped through the endless pages of Pops’ journal, all filled with endless recounts, drawings, symbols, and pictures from his travels, just as he had since Monday. The journal consumed his whole attention, and nothing else seemed important enough to focus on. He had even ditched his friends all week which he never does.
He is supposed to meet Raheem for drinks tonight, but now he is wondering if he even wants to go. There is just too much in his head right now. He just wants to be alone. 12:37. The clock is moving too slowly. Flinn clears his calendar for the rest of the day and decides to go home.
At home, he still finds himself flipping through the pages of the journal, not even reading them but just looking at them. Again and again, he flips through until he has enough. He drops the journal on his lap and stares off into the distance at the gorgeous view of Lake Michigan. The endless city and skyline take up most of the horizon until it just stops, cut off by the endless ocean-like lake. He stares at it for quite a while until something catches his eye. He has seen this before. Well, of course he has. He lives here and this is his view everyday. But he knows he has seen it somewhere else.
He picks the journal back up and flips through in a hurry. There it is. He holds the journal up to the window to show a matching two-page drawing of this exact view. Well, not exact. It is a slightly different angle, but it was close enough. Pops was here. He would have loved visiting. I should have invited him. This made Flinn sad, and he threw the journal down on the table in frustration.
Just then, that is when he noticed it. There was a page sticking out from the journal, but it was not like the rest. The page was white and pristine, aside from a few wrinkles, as if it was new, whereas the rest of the journal showed its age. He rushed over to grab it. He opened it to find a letter, addressed to him:
Grandson, When you left, I knew that you would accomplish everything you set out to do. I also knew, however, you would find yourself lost someday, returning home for answers. I was hoping I’d be able to give you those answers myself, but as time goes on that seems less likely. I too found myself lost, and I knew not why. I had gone and seen the world, and it changed me, but I was still not fulfilled. I came home still looking for the answers, and it took a while, but eventually I did find them.
Through this journal, I hope to share my findings so that you too, when you are lost, find the answers you seek. Whenever you are ready, follow my journey and the clues I have left for you. Go out and see the world, just as I did. You will find that what you want from life is less than what you expect.
I hope the experiences you have are less harsh than my own, but still be careful. The world has changed a lot, but still not enough. But don’t skip ahead for the meaning may be lost. Take only one step at a time, and when it comes time to take the next step, it will reveal itself.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Seven o’clock rolls around and Flinn walks into the bar to meet Raheem. He hasn’t seen Raheem, or anyone else from the group, since last Tuesday when he had his outburst. He begins by telling the story of the events of this last weekend, but leaves out the parts about Pops’ past.
"Pops left me a hidden letter.”
“What do you mean?” asked Raheem.
“Like in his journal, I found a hidden letter. It was addressed to me.”
“What did it say, bro?”
“He says he was a lot like me when he was my age. He wants me to go where he went and learn what he did.”
“In Alabama?”
“No, everywhere but there. He wants me to start in Western Europe and follow his clues around the world.”
“He traveled?”
“A lot, apparently. I never knew. He was in the army, and after he got out, he traveled… everywhere, basically.”
“Why did no one tell you?”
“They wanted to keep me safe, I guess.
"They wanted to keep the whole family safe after what happened to him.”
“What do you mean, bro. What happened?”
“I can’t talk about it, but it doesn’t matter now anyways. I’m living a different life now.” Flinn never shared much about his past or his family with anyone, not even Raheem. It has always been a mystery. This was the most he had ever shared with him.
“Well, are you going to go?”
“No, I can’t. I have work. It took too much to get here. I can’t just give it away.”
“It’ll still be here when you get back, bro.”
“If only it was that simple.”
“It can be. You have money saved up. Chicago isn’t going anywhere. We’re not going anywhere. Plus, you’ve always talked about traveling more. Why don’t you take some time to do it.”
“I suppose, but I like my life here.”
“If you don’t do it now, when will you? You’ve taken a leap before, why not take another one. You’re smart, you’ll land on your feet, bro. Besides, your grandfather thought it was important enough to not only give you his journal, but hide you a letter for you to find when you needed it most. Maybe now is when you needed it most. You’re way too stressed at work anyways, and I can tell you’ve been off for a while now. Perhaps some change could give you what you need.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
On Monday morning, when Flinn gets to work, he walked straight to his boss's office. He turned in his letter of resignation.
Two weeks later, he took the red line to the blue line to O’Hare. Journal in hand, he boarded a flight to Dublin.
submitted by Nora_Clybourn to shortstories [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 21:41 dwright5252 The Linear Men #20 - Family Reunion

DC Next Proudly Presents:

The Linear Men

Issue Twenty:Family Reunion
Written by Dwright5252
Edited by Predaplant

< Prev. Next Issue > Coming Next Month


The Waverider
When she was growing up, Deirdre Harkness often thought about how things might’ve been different in her household if she had an older brother to take the brunt of her father’s attention. How her path through life could have been vastly different, her rap sheet a little more… non-existent.
Now that such a brother seemingly existed, albeit from another Earth altogether, she was starting to realize that maybe she was fine being an only child.
“Listen, this’ll go a lot faster if you stop being so obtuse, Deirdre,” Owen Mercer scowled, twirling one of his razor-sharp boomerangs deftly between his fingers as he paced the deck of the Waverider. Deirdre sat in the hot seat, the Linear Men staring at her on one side while her current and former romantic partners stood on the other. The multiversal children of Digger Harkness faced off in the middle, neither seeming to want to give any inch in their argument.
“Look, I’m just sayin’ I’d be able to find my friends better without some drongo stealing my schtick,” she responded casually, moving to take a boomerang of her own from her bandolier before remembering the new time cops had confiscated all her weapons. “Surely Jenny Sparks has someone better to send along.”
Was she being difficult? Absolutely. Was this petty argument preventing her from saving her missing teammates? Undoubtedly.
Did she want to take this pretender down a peg? You know it.
“Perhaps we can arrive at some kind of accord, beloved,” Ystin interjected, placing a hand on Deirdre’s shoulder. “I understand how jarring seeing this knave must be, but our comrades in arms are lost to time. Other priorities must take precedence.”
Sighing deeply, Deirdre fell back into the chair behind her, irked that this modified timeline removed all the progress she’d made in molding the chair to fit her form. She could see Liri wince at the force she had used to enter the chair, and felt a little bad about that.
God, she could be selfish sometimes.
“Fine. Fine, I’ll be a good sheila now. What is your plan, oh fearless brother o’ mine?” She felt the tension in the room let up slightly, and Ystin gave her a grateful smile.
Owen pulled out another boomerang of his and started pressing the buttons on it. A projection appeared, seemingly the timeline they were currently in. Biting back her instincts to make fun of her brother’s projecto-rang, she sat back and listened as he began to point at the timeline. “As you can see, this is the current stream that we’re in. You can see these discolorations,” he explained, pointing at the shades of red appearing in the mostly blue timeline, “that indicate the anomalies you’re normally after. Sure, they aren’t the best thing to have appear, but it’s within the Time Masters’ range of acceptable aberrations. From what Deirdre is saying, the kind of anomaly we’re looking for with this situation, with one team seemingly erased from time and another fully resurrected, should be lighting this up like a Christmas tree. That massive of a ripple effect from those changes would unmoor us into the Bleed, never to return.”
“But we’re clearly still here,” Rip Hunter said, scowling. “So you’re saying she’s full of it.”
“Not necessarily,” Owen replied, and Deirdre felt a slight pang in her chest as her brother came to her defense. He dialed in another setting and another hologram appeared, this time showing various circles floating around the timestream. “What do you know about time bubbles?”
Michael raised his hand, ever the teacher’s pet, apparently. “They’re basically pocket dimensions separated out from the timestream. The Time Masters use them sometimes to isolate threats to the stream or conduct experiments.”
“Gold star to you,” Owen said, and Deirdre rolled her eyes as Michael beamed. She missed Booster so much. “Yes, exactly that. So let’s say that these bubbles,” he circled a majority of them, “were made and accounted for. We’re left with a good dozen unsanctioned by the Time Masters.”
Deirdre’s hopes started to pick up before Rip dashed them. “But that’s also within parameters for a timestream. Nature abhors a vacuum and makes time bubbles naturally to fill in any blank spaces that appear. You’re grasping at straws.”
Owen turned toward the captain of the Waverider. “I’m sorry, did you want to run this presentation? I can go back to the Authority and leave y’all to your issues if you want.”
Before Rip could respond, Liri stepped in. “Rip, let the poor boy explain. You’re being an asshole.”
Deirdre blinked, surprised at Liri’s interjection. The AI she knew would never put the captain in his place like that. And even more shocking, she saw Rip pull back and motion for Owen to continue, clearly chastened by his crewmate.
Miracles did happen.
“You’re correct, the other bubbles not highlighted are indeed naturally occurring.” Owen pointed at them and expanded them. “But someone with enough access and know-how can commandeer these time bubbles and manipulate them for their own uses.”
Matthew Rider raised his hand. “So you’re saying our missing people could be inside these bubbles? But what about the damage to the timeline from removing them in the first place?”
“Good question. Like I said, this level of fuckery to the order of things should’ve made things completely unravel. That being said, it is possible for someone with a high degree of chronal knowledge and access to do it. It’d be damn risky, as one mistake could spell disaster. But… it's becoming more and more evident that whatever’s responsible for this isn’t an amateur.” Owen pulled up a blank file now, a glaring DATA NOT FOUND flashing in front of them. “You say you all saw Walker Gabriel vanish, and still have memories of him. He’s not in our databases anymore, and there’s not even a void left behind where he should be. This thing took him out and plastered over the timestream to remove any trace.”
Silence fell on the group as the idea of what they were up against sunk in. Deirdre pondered who or what could hate them enough to do something like this.
“So what’re our next steps?” Liri asked, typing away furiously at her datapad. “Should we search these time bubbles for our missing teammates?”
Deirdre smiled sadly as she heard Liri refer to her friends as teammates. This version didn’t even know these people, didn’t have any definitive proof that they even existed, and yet she took them in her heart as part of the team.
Owen shook his head. “That would take too long, and might tip off whatever’s doing this to our plan. We need more manpower for the search and a way to narrow down the field.” Roxy Rocket, who’d spent the entire conversation vlogging the control room with her camera, piped in. “Sciency stuff isn’t really my bag, but could you maybe look for people that interacted with these folks and trace them that way? Use their memories to bridge the gap or whatever?”
To Deirdre, it sounded like the kind of stupid thing that just might work. “I know someone that might be able to help us with that, and I can get some people together we could use.”
Hub City, Illinois
Something was wrong, of that Violet was certain.
Their journey had led them across the globe when they’d felt it happen, felt the universe attempting to steal another memory from them. Violet fought against the overwhelming vibrations that tried to steal the memory of their friend from them, using their powers to shield their mind and their heart. It took everything they had, rendering Violet unconscious for a day. But when they awoke, they still remembered Michael Jon Carter, Booster Gold. The first person in Violet’s memory that tried to help them.
It felt fitting, going from trying to discover their past to helping bring their friend back from oblivion.
The problem was, nothing was working.
“I’m sorry, I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Daniel Carter asserted, shifting on his crutches as he tried to close the door on Violet. They held their hand out to stop it, and felt fear trickle through Daniel’s aura.
“I do not mean to startle you, I am just trying to find some answers,” Violet explained, backing away from the door to give Daniel some space. “I know it sounds strange, but I am telling you only the truth.”
“Look, I wish you luck in… this whole thing you’ve got going,” Daniel said, “but I don’t have a clue about any future relatives of mine, whatever the hell that means. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to get ready for a job interview.”
This time, Violet allowed him to slam the door in their face. It was no use. It seemed anyone they’d attempted to contact didn’t have any memories of their friend. Violet knew that if they could only use their aura to show Daniel the true way of things…
But no. That would be a trespass they were hesitant to employ. There had to be a way to bring Michael back without hurting anyone. They would find it, they were sure of it. “Well, if it isn’t the most colorful person I know,” a familiar voice said from behind them. Violet turned around to see Deirdre Harkness approaching them from across the street. Unconsciously adjusting their hijab, Violet ran towards their former teammate and enveloped her in a tight hug.
“You are truly a sight for sore eyes, Deirdre,” Violet said, tears running down their face as they took in their old friend’s presence. “I could really use a friendly ear at the moment. I feel as if I have gone insane.”
Deirdre pulled back from the hug to look Violet in the eye. After a moment of searching, she smiled. “You remember, don’t you?”
Violet’s eyes widened in shock and joy. “Tell me you are not humoring me. You truly remember our friend?”
A wave of relief washed over Violet, and it was all they could do to keep their aura in check as Deirdre spoke. “Not only do I remember Booster and Rip and the others, but I think I have a way to get them back.”
Radiance, Pennsylvania
Living in a mansion wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. For instance, the amount of upkeep required to keep it from becoming a dusty mountain of sadness was just completely unrealistic for one person to do. That meant hiring people to help maintain the grounds, sweep the floors, clean the bathrooms and bedrooms.
Mitch Shelley was not a fan of people.
“No, I said not to make the topiary look like a Soder Cola can,” Mitch insisted to his groundskeeper, an older man whose proximity to loud saws all his life made him hard of hearing. “It looks corny as fuck.”
The old man shook his head. “I think it looks fine, sir. Plus I know your corporate sponsors will appreciate it for that gala you’re holding next week.”
Goddammit. Mitch had been dreading that stupid party ever since he’d been asked to host it in honor of his latest sponsorship campaign for the Soder Cola company. Sure, he wasn’t too involved with the planning (at least, when he could dodge the phone calls and house visits of the party planner he’d hired) but it still took up way too much of his time. That wasn’t to mention the fact that he had to attend the thing.
In a suit.
Ugh.
“Maybe you’re right. Thanks, Joe,” Mitch said, handing the groundskeeper a generous tip. Joe was probably the most down-to-earth of his employees, and he wanted to make sure he was taken care of. Joe shook his hand appreciatively and walked out the door, brushing past a red haired woman dressed garishly in some sort of costume.
“You’re a week early for the gala, darlin’,” Mitch said, waving her away as he tried to escape to his theater room. “I’m sure whatever skill you have will be enough to entertain the suits coming to this shindig.”
“Har de har, asshole,” the woman said, her Australian accent giving him pause. What was an Aussie doing in Pennsylvania? “I’m actually here for Resurrection Man. Need his help.”
Mitch sighed, “Look, I’m sure whatever cat’s stuck in a tree will get itself out. If this is about Lazarus, tell that fucker he can come and face me himself rather than sending his new sidekick.”
The woman rolled her eyes. “Look, I know you. You’re a wild horse that can’t be reined in. You need adventure in your life, and I’m here to offer it. Ever time traveled before?”
Mitch stopped on the steps. “In a manner of speaking. What did you have in mind?” Maybe he’d hear this woman out. If anything it might last long enough to get him out of this fucking party.
Opal City
“Stargazer tipline, how can we help?” Jack Knight was surprised when the old phone line started to ring. Courtney had been right; most people used the app to ask for help. He’d almost forgotten the tipline was a thing, and it had startled him into dropping his tools as he worked on another upgrade to the Star Staff. His father’s laboratory made the ringing sound like it was coming from all over, so he’d almost missed the call when he couldn’t find the phone buried under all the schematics.
Hello Starman, long time fan, first time caller,” a voice said from the receiver, the accent telling him this wasn’t an Opal citizen. “Need your assistance in a caper.” He was tempted to hang up the phone; no doubt this was some kind of crank call. “What’re the details of this… caper, ma’am?” He’d humor her for a little bit. Jennifer and Courtney had been on his case about crunch culture and making sure to take breaks, so maybe this could count as his allotted rest period.
First off, I think I’m younger than you, so shove off with your ma’am,” the woman huffed. “Second, this isn’t a joke. Why don’t you come out of your little work shed and see what I mean.
The line clicked, and Jack looked at the phone in confusion. What a weird call. There was no way anyone knew where he was at the moment, so he chalked it up to someone having a laugh at his expense. As he picked up his blowtorch to continue his welding, the intercom buzzed.
Jack, can you please come up here and tell these yahoos to get their spaceship out of my backyard before they wreck my azaleas?” Jack heard his father’s voice resonate through the speaker. He jumped up to look at the outside cameras, and sure enough, there floated a spaceship of some sort.
He pulled out his phone and texted into the All Star Group Chat. “Hey, gang. Might need to be out of the city for a bit on a mission. I’ll keep you posted.
submitted by dwright5252 to DCNext [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 21:30 Sea_Lingonberry6523 How do I "23f" help my mentally unwell best friend "23f"?

My best friend and I are both 23 and have known each other since 10. For backstory she moved away at 14, we texted but that was it. She ended up moving back at 20 with her mom when her parents divorced and although we had not seen each other for 6 years, it was as if nothing changed and she once again became my best friend as an adult. We caught up on life and she was obviously emotionally stunted.
I found out when she moved she was homeschooled, she never made a single friend, she never worked, did not learn to drive, stayed home all day. It wasn't her fault but her parent's fault and I feel terrible that's how she was raised when she moved. Well I'm the opposite. Moved out at 17, have been working since 15, very social, always dating and trying to meet new people. Lived though a lot of crazy shit and want to do as much as possible lol. Ive always been aware my friend has some mental problems (abandonment issues, ocd, anxiety). Since she moved back we have never argued or fought until a couple days ago.
If I was hurt or upset by something I usually kept it to myself because I know she's sensitive and means well. But recently she used me by taking my idea to open a bakery and excluded me from the project when I asked her to partner with me. At first I didn't tell her it upset me because I was happy she was finally making money but after a couple months I decided to be honest with my feelings. I just told her it hurt my feelings when she excluded me with the business and stole my logo, theme and business name. Well.... she broke down. She told me she didn't even realize she took it from me and that I was actually interested in doing it. I stayed calm and told her it was ok and just a misunderstanding and I should have communicated better with her but I just wanted to tell her my feelings instead of holding them in and was happy I heard her side. She started sobbing and freaking out. Ive never seen anything like it. I kept reassuring her it was ok but she kept saying how terrible she is and how she now hated herself and wished she was dead. It freaked me out so I just kept reassuring her it was ok until she calmed down.
I now feel terrible. I always put others feelings above me and for once I admitted how I felt and ended up having to apologize and now I'm worried about her. After she calmed down she then told me she wanted to be honest with me as well. She told me she fears I will meet new friends and leave her because I like making friends. I told her she is like a sister to me, that no matter what she's my best friend. But she wouldn't let up. She said she has no desire to make friends and all she needs is me. Now, I understand this Is because her dad abandoned her, she never made other friends and I'm all she has. She even told me a couple years ago she does get jealous and what not. I have no idea how to deal with this. I suggested therapy and she shot that idea down. I wasn't very pushy with the idea but I am going to hang out with her soon and would like some advice.
I told my boyfriend and he says this is psycho behavior. It sucks because I totally understand how she sounds insane but I know she isn't a bad person. She had terrible parents and no one to guide her. Some of her behavior reminds me of me when I was younger so she does just seem emotionally immature. Ive grown a lot in the past few years (been sober 8 months, working towards a career, taking care of my mental and physical health). No matter what, she is family to me and I want to help guide her in the right direction because I wish I had someone to help me when I was lost in life and mentally unwell. Should I have a deeper conversation about therapy with her? Should I ask her more questions about her past to get her to open up and realize the root of her problems? Any advice is greatly appreciated.
Tl;Dr
Best friend isn't addressing her mental health problems that affect are relationship, she is possessive and unwell. How do I address this topic with her so she gets the help she needs.
submitted by Sea_Lingonberry6523 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 21:28 shansmith98 Companies in pride parades?

Hi all, posting here in hopes to get some feedback. I work for a biotech company in Boston and we had plans to march in the pride parade. We have a large number of employees who identify as LGBTQIA+ (including myself) and the company is very queer-inclusive, so this felt like a great way to show support. However, one of my coworkers (also gay) said this was a bad idea as it could make us look bad, because it would be using corporate branding to make us look good. I see both sides of the coin, but it then opened a broader conversation about whether the company should make a pride linkedin post, celebrate with a Pride themed happy hour, or have any kind of pride tshirts with our company logo on them, as these were all things we discussed doing to celebrate. This did also open the door to thinking about ways we can take action, host fundraisers for queetrans outreach organizations which we are working on planning as well. How do most people feel about companies participating in pride parades using a banner with their logo?
submitted by shansmith98 to lgbt [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 19:48 dontgiveaderp 33 [M4F] Houston, Texas. Hopeless romantic looking for my new favorite person.

I'd like to find someone who captivates me. Someone who I can talk with effortlessly. I want to meet a person who I can include in my daily tasks, and talk with throughout the day. I just want to find someone I can be open with. Platonic conversation or romance. Whatever you are looking for, don't hesitate to message me. I hope to hear from you.
I love a number of things, and hate very little. I'm fairly open to trying new things, but some of the things I enjoy are as follows. I love the outdoors. I've never been camping, but I would like to try it with someone some day. I also love to fish. I mostly fish salt water. I do occasionally fish freshwater though. I like to check out new spots around me, but I mostly fish on the beach. Do you like to fish? What are some of your favorite places to go?
I also enjoy the shooting sports. I primarily target shoot. I take part in a little bit of everything, including rifle, pistol and shotgun. It would be nice to find someone who is into shooting or would like to learn/become more familiar. If you shoot, what do you like to shoot mostly? What's been your favorite gun to shoot so far?
PC games are also a enjoyable pastime for me. I have a variety of games, most of which are on Steam. I have other games on various other stores/services. I enjoy a wide variety of different kind of games, so I'm sure we can find something to play together if you game. What are some of your all time favorite games? What are you currently grinding on that you can't put down? One hobby I discovered later on in life is Magic the Gathering. I play both online on MtG Arena, and with physical cards. Magic has become something I am particularly fond of. Do you play any kind of card/table top games? What's been your favorite so far? If you play Magic, what are some of your favorite deck themes?
Music has always been a part of my life. My tastes are varied, ranging from country, death and black metal, electronic, classic rock, folk, pop punk, and more. Do you have a favorite band? What has been your favorite concert you've been to?
I'm honestly an ambivert. I enjoy doing things outside, as well as spending time indoors. I can veg out all day under the covers curled up in my bed, or I can take a trip somewhere and experience something new. I think my personality is a mix of the best of both worlds. What would the perfect day consist of for you?
As far as my personality is concerned, I would say I am fairly relaxed and laid back. I feel like I am somewhere in the middle between loud and excitable, and shy and quiet. Around people I don't know, I tend to be fairly quiet and to myself. In the company of someone who I am close with, I am more open and free. Do you open right up to people, or does it take a while to become comfortable with someone new?
All I hope for is a connection. It could be platonic, or it could blossom into romance, and commitment. I'm not putting a limit on what I am looking for.
With the prior being said, I am single. I may be interested in changing that with the right person. The idea of commitment excites me. Monogamy is appealing to me. Do you feel satisfied with your social life? What kind of connection are you looking for?
Thank you for taking the time to read my post. I appreciate it. I hope you can identify with something I wrote. If you do, please reach out.
P.S. Please feel free to check my post history, and check out a few pictures of my cat if you would like.
submitted by dontgiveaderp to R4R30Plus [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 19:47 dontgiveaderp 33 [M4F] Houston, Texas. Hopeless romantic looking for my new favorite person.

I'd like to find someone who captivates me. Someone who I can talk with effortlessly. I want to meet a person who I can include in my daily tasks, and talk with throughout the day. I just want to find someone I can be open with. Platonic conversation or romance. Whatever you are looking for, don't hesitate to message me. I hope to hear from you.
I love a number of things, and hate very little. I'm fairly open to trying new things, but some of the things I enjoy are as follows. I love the outdoors. I've never been camping, but I would like to try it with someone some day. I also love to fish. I mostly fish salt water. I do occasionally fish freshwater though. I like to check out new spots around me, but I mostly fish on the beach. Do you like to fish? What are some of your favorite places to go?
I also enjoy the shooting sports. I primarily target shoot. I take part in a little bit of everything, including rifle, pistol and shotgun. It would be nice to find someone who is into shooting or would like to learn/become more familiar. If you shoot, what do you like to shoot mostly? What's been your favorite gun to shoot so far?
PC games are also a enjoyable pastime for me. I have a variety of games, most of which are on Steam. I have other games on various other stores/services. I enjoy a wide variety of different kind of games, so I'm sure we can find something to play together if you game. What are some of your all time favorite games? What are you currently grinding on that you can't put down? One hobby I discovered later on in life is Magic the Gathering. I play both online on MtG Arena, and with physical cards. Magic has become something I am particularly fond of. Do you play any kind of card/table top games? What's been your favorite so far? If you play Magic, what are some of your favorite deck themes?
Music has always been a part of my life. My tastes are varied, ranging from country, death and black metal, electronic, classic rock, folk, pop punk, and more. Do you have a favorite band? What has been your favorite concert you've been to?
I'm honestly an ambivert. I enjoy doing things outside, as well as spending time indoors. I can veg out all day under the covers curled up in my bed, or I can take a trip somewhere and experience something new. I think my personality is a mix of the best of both worlds. What would the perfect day consist of for you?
As far as my personality is concerned, I would say I am fairly relaxed and laid back. I feel like I am somewhere in the middle between loud and excitable, and shy and quiet. Around people I don't know, I tend to be fairly quiet and to myself. In the company of someone who I am close with, I am more open and free. Do you open right up to people, or does it take a while to become comfortable with someone new?
All I hope for is a connection. It could be platonic, or it could blossom into romance, and commitment. I'm not putting a limit on what I am looking for.
With the prior being said, I am single. I may be interested in changing that with the right person. The idea of commitment excites me. Monogamy is appealing to me. Do you feel satisfied with your social life? What kind of connection are you looking for?
Thank you for taking the time to read my post. I appreciate it. I hope you can identify with something I wrote. If you do, please reach out.
P.S. Please feel free to check my post history, and check out a few pictures of my cat if you would like.
submitted by dontgiveaderp to r4r [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 19:43 Krlxx Messenger problems

Idk if its good reddit for that, but i bought my first iphone and i have some problems with messenger, i dont have theme, conversation emojis or cant even read receipts, this app looks really bad without that and i dont know what to do. My friends have apple phones but dont have similiar issues, really dont know what to do
EDIT: I forgot to add that on old chats everything is working fine, problem is only on new chats with full encryption chats and groups working fine
submitted by Krlxx to ios [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 19:43 Slight_Movie4435 Being Too Much

This has been a constant theme in my social sphere where people have told me I'm overwhelming, usually after they've sorta ghosted me for a time. Like, it's like I send a handful of messages, wait a few days, and then suddenly I get an apology paired with 'you're overwhelming and it made me feel anxiety which is why I didn't respond' and I'm like okay sure no problem bro. And I don't doubt it. I mean, I've never felt anything other than excitement when someone sends me a text wall or rambles at me or whatever, but I could see how that's not everyone's jam.
My main concern is that, I mean, I don't know how to stop that? I try, and it takes so much active attention to what I'm typing or saying for how much and wondering is this too much, do they need to know that, am I scaring them off right now. Like it's like everyone else has a dimmer switch when it comes to conversing, but I just have an off or on and I'm having to wiggle it constantly to try to create the illusion of a comfortable level of light. And we alllll know that that would never work; that'd just be more annoying than just leaving the switch alone altogether. I guess I'm just sad that there's some people who I like and are cool but I'm gonna upset because of how I am.
It's silly, and I know I'm being silly, but it puts you on that terrible spiral of 'I'm too annoying to be around people'; inevitably, I'm gonna get excited and start yapping and it's gonna chase everyone away. And I don't really want to stop doing that. I like that part of me; just would be nice if others liked it too.
submitted by Slight_Movie4435 to ADHD [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 19:04 InstructionUnique722 How can I 32m mend the relationship between my wife 31f and my mother 63f?

The rift between them has caused a lot of tension in my family and now my mom wants to be in the life of her newborn grandson but refuses to address or try to mend things with my wife.
Little history: I probably introduced them too quickly. My grandmother was in town in south Florida about to move here from Illinois for a retirement community. My wife, girlfriend at the time, came with cookies or some form of baked goods like she usually does when visiting someone as a sign of affection and respect. Where it went wrong from here I have no idea. I suppose the initial crack was when wife scheduled a skitrip for her and I to have as a 1 year of dating anniversary present. We are not rich, this is a huge gift that made sense to her since I refused to let her pay rent. Our combines salaries are barely over 120k. So wife calls mom 6 months in advance because she is a planner for the sole purpose of asking my mom to watch one of our four dogs. Wife has already paid in full for the trip. Yet Mom decides it is a great idea to instead use the opportunity to hop on and take a family trip because it is the last time the family will have for a family vacation - I am the oldest of two boys and two stepsisters, my mom married the guy she left my father for who has twin girls of his own that were in the womb during the infidelity. Anyway mom completely takes over and decides to make our one year gift a family vacation, so she books tickets for a hotel nearby. Wife is bold but at the time not bold enough to stop my mom in her tracks for overstepping a boundary. At this time she still respected my mother and kind of let herself get steamrolled.
Probably skippable Family history: Now I have always had issues with my mother, resentment for leaving my father for my stepdad behind my own fathers back and constantly trying to keep brother and I from seeing “Disneyland dad who doesn’t do any of the work but gets all the fun.” my mother was very strict growing up, always bringing us to church and making my father feel guilty for not bringing brother and I on his weekend. So mom marries stepdad age 11, divorces him around 13 after asking me advice for her relationship and i encourage her to move out. Then remarries him and moves us back into his house age 15. Here I begin rebellion and normal teeenager stuff but stepdad won’t butt in because he isn’t my “biological father” so would have my mom intervene brother and i from behind the scenes. For example, I am young and messing around on the piano because music is important and I never had any formal training and mom comes in to tell me stepdad “wants to know when the concert is going to end because it is a little annoying.” Anyway, they have me prescribed adderall at 16 and in the parking lot holding my first prescription I am told that they would like me to move out and in with my father, who had chased us every time mom and stepdad moved several miles away (5 moves from age 5-15 all in one county). Anyway, brother and I are recovering alcoholics with (my) slipups triggered from interactions or visiting my mom, which mom claims is genetics from my father alone and has nothing to do with her. Maternal grandfather, mother, and I have some nasty temper problems which certainly are exacerbated by drinking (at least mine and moms).
Skitrip revelations: Wife and I are on the way to brothers graduation in Chicago, and wife has yet to reveal to me that my mother has taken over her massive investment of a couples ski vacation and it will now be a family vacation for mom, stepdad, brother, two stepsisters who are all getting out of gradschool. On the way to the airport I am told the news by future wife of my one year surprise. So I get upset and call my mom to call it off. She obliges my request and now holds resentment against me and now wife for “ruining her last family vacation.” Fine, whatever. Mother never says a word about it for months until we are out for a distant family members birthday dinner and at a table of about 8-10 people that are having a group conversation and gets real close to my wife’s ear and tells her privately along the lines of “you deprived our family of our last family vacation.” During this time my wife is frantically tapping my leg under the table because my mom can get a little aggressive. My mom saw this and later (privately to me) mocked her for doing it to my leg under the table.
Christmas blessings: Closer to Christmas maybe 2/3 weeks later we went to go see my mom and my mom had a couple drinks in her (not an alcoholic like brother and I just very sensitive to a couple glasses of wine and occasionally some hidden sips of wine or something) and invites my wife to Christmas church and out to dinner after because the family needs photos for a Christmas card and future wife “will be the photographer for it.” Now this can easily be a nothing comment but given the way my mom had been making future wife feel, it was taken as an insult. So wife declined church and showed up to family dinner just in time for photography session to be over.
The distance: Then mom moves to a fancy house up the coast and invites us up to visit. At first it is ok to bring the 4 dogs then the day before she says they will not have dogs at the house and we can easily find a sitter. 2 Dogs don’t get along, they need to be separated always as there has been two attacks on one from the other, so we can’t trust someone to come to the house and keep them separate and we won’t board 4 dogs it’s too expensive for us. Anyway we go back and forth being invited with the dogs then they retract the offer and say pick one dog to bring and leave the others and it’s just annoying, so we say forget it and don’t go. But my brother becomes engaged and decides to throw his engagement party at my mom’s new place near the beach. Great. First all the dogs are welcome, then day before they say it is too chaotic and she will pay for a small hotel room for one night for future wife and her dogs and my one (the attack dog) can stay in a crate at the house with me but I may not leave the dog to stay with her. And no reasonable cheap hotel in the area is going to accommodate 4 dogs. Anyway wife is stressed but feels obligated to come because I am the best man and I stay at the house while she checks her dogs into the hotel. Wife had made a cheesecake and brought it up in a separate car from me, 4 hour drive by the way, and night of.. my mom says no desserts for engagement party dinner, the dessert is themed or some crazy stuff. Wife shows up to dinner a little later and very flustered because of the situation plus I had relapsed on a bottle of whiskey a couple days prior to seeing my mom. Related, I don’t know. Anyway. Mom has had a couple drinks and future wife and I are talking about having children and religion comes up. Mom asks what we were thinking of doing about baptism or not and I jokingly said (guiltily to get on my moms nerves a bit) that he would have a bris and would love it if she would come to the bar mitzvah. now my wife’s mom was forced to convert from Catholicism to Judaism for her own mother in laws acceptance for a failed marriage so wife is not religious, but it hurt my wife and reasonably so when my mom replied “oh, son, I raised you better than that.” Still no acknowlegement of fault from that comment and mom thinks wife is “overly sensitive, dramatic, and childish” for wanting an apology for it.
Weddings: Future wife becomes current wife. We had gotten engaged on our next anniversary trip she planned for us. I proposed on our bike and barge through tulip season in holland with our feet in the water of the North Sea after a picnic in the dunes. her family business manufactures photo albums for professional photographers, so aside from our families all being divorced, estranged, difficult, and us trying to save money, we did not have a wedding, we just did the paperwork within a month of the proposal. I had already decided to have a baby with her before the trip so we were trying. 2 weeks before brothers wedding in Tennessee we become pregnant, so we break news immediately as to not steal limelight from brothers expensive wedding. Mom says she will cover cost of rental car so we can save money. Ok great. She books the tiny car and we pack it and head up the Smokey mountains to the cabins we are staying at. Two cabins for grooms family, one for his mother and one for his father, ten paces from each other: they havnt spoken but twice im since divorce in 1995 but through lawyers. Grandmother, mother, stepdad, 2 stepsisters and one boyfriend stayed in mom’s side. Wife and I stay at father’s side cabin with just his wife. His Wife’s 3 daughters and family’s stayed a town away down the mountain among extended family. Anyway, beautiful wedding takes place. My wife is sent into town to collect flowers and run errands for my mom which she happily obliged to since she is a solitary person and did not want wedding day drama. Day after, we are loading our rental sedan with our bags. Mom and grandma need a ride to the airport and our flight is before theirs so they will drop off the car for us 4 hours or so after we go to the airport 5 hours from current time. We’re loading the car. Stepcousin passed out in mother’s cabin night before and needed a ride. Disorganized brunch for 20 people is trying to be made. Father’s wife’s daughter books a reservation for 10 people which include her family, her sisters, me, my wife, dad, and their mom. My stepdad had left for home at this point as he had taken his own suv instead of flying with my mom and 90 year old grandma. So mom is trying to pack grandma in the car with bags and my wife and stepcousin. At this point mother asks stepmother if she and grandma are on reservation for the brunch. Stepmom says no they are not, she wasn’t sure of their plans. Mom says under her breath “fucking assholes, so typical,” and she goes into a bit of a rage to which my stepmom says here “it’s ok I will call and add you two it’s no big deal.” So we continue packing the car and realize we won’t all fit. So my wife tells my stepcousin to go ride with my father to the restaurant 10 minutes away we will meet you there. Mom says to wife, “no you go with the father.” Wife says “no I am going to ride with my husband” mom gets close to her face with her finger and says “this is my car, you can fucking Uber!” Wife is 6 weeks pregnant at this point and it all escalated from here. wife and mother start yelling at each other swearing at each other and we get into the car, mom behind wife who was in shotgun. 2 occasions on the trip I had to stop the car because mom had taken off her seatbelt to stand over the seat and scream in my wife’s face with so much vigor that spit came on to her face multiple times. I’m trying to tell them both to behave and mom sit down shut the f up. Mom is telling wife to get the f out of the car and find a ride, she has no right to speak because she’s “new here” (dating and living together for 3 years at this point). The following brunch she apologized in a crowd with a hushed voice at a table of 20 people trying to have a group conversation again privately to my wife “I’m sorry you get so upset” and my wife told her “that is not an apology.” The following several hours in the car with grandma and stepcousin and wife were some of the most uncomfortable moments of my life. At a gas station I pulled my mom aside and said I need ther to give a huge apology, that it was so nasty and inappropriate, my brother and I are used to abusive language and aggressive behavior but to my pregnant wife and any other human being it is disgusting and unacceptable. Sitting in the car was quiet for many hours until we got to the airport. No speaking about what happened just mom happy go lucky about Tennessee and Dollywood and wife and I in shock, cousin still half in the bag from a fun wedding, grandma 90 years old probably confused about what happened.
The family groupchat: Im waiting on an apology from my mother to my wife who is extremely hurt and expressed to my mom loads of time she needs to reach out and apologize. We’re not talking until she will do so. It is bugging me and keeping me up at night. My appendix flares up and I am admitted to the hospital with emergency appendectomy. Still pregnant Wife suggests I reach out to mom to let her know what’s going on. So I text mom I’m at the hospital and will have surgery. I send a pic or something that on my end says hasn’t gone through. Mom group texts our family group with stepdad, his daughters, brother and his wife, and grandma that I am in the hospital and attaches the pic I sent of me in there. Then she continues to rave about the success of her startup company and how they got FDA approved clinical trials finally completed or some pivotal moment that made the text about her. Wife and I are in a hospital so the picture comes up on moms end as unable to have been sent. Mom assumes that my wife has blocked her phone, so mom removes my wife from the chat. Wife is rushing home to take care of the dogs at this point and is not alerted on her phone, but on everyone else’s phone it clearly reads “(mom) has removed (wife) from the chat.” Immediately I text my mom and basically say how dare you do that to her she is the one who insisted I let you know out of respect and mom responds with blah blah she did this she did that I will not have it. So I go back to the family chat and remove mother. At this point I let everyone in the chat know what my mother has done and how she refuses to take responsibility for how she made my wife feel, address her feelings, apologize or do anything at all to reach out about the wedding incident or even inquire about the wellbeing of the pregnancy for her first grandchild. Stepdad finally steps in and tells me “enough.” Grandma says “shame on you.” I am dumbfounded. This is a hush hush family that hates to have anything out in the open and likes to maintain a picture perfect image. For examples; 1) I and wife were on the family Christmas card of a photo taken at the wedding that the whole world received except for wife and I. 2)brothers alcoholism was to remain hidden from the family as was his rehab treatment and how it affected his career. Now understand that they like to keep things quiet but that is not how I want to handle my problems, these things trigger alcohol use and violent outbursts on my part that I no longer wish to live through. Now appendectomy’s are pretty simple so I recovered quickly (it don’t rupture we just took it out). But during the time I was scheduled to be under anesthesia, stepdad reaches out to wife to have a chat and clear the air. Wife waits until I come to so i can be there and I hear the conversation. He claims to be here as a middleman like a business meeting to fix things once and for all. Wife and I are like wow great. He then proceeds to double down on my moms behalf that they will not be apologizing or meet any of her demands as she had already apologized as confirmed by 90yo grandma who was in the car and my mother herself. The term he used was stalemate to describe the situation. Wife and I are shocked but she has me keep quiet to show me what he will say. He proceeds to yell at her and they were screaming at each other, again steamrolling the conversation assuring us that he was down the middle yet maintains that mom has made a sufficient apology that needs to be accepted and wife needs to grow up and move on, then wishing her luck with the baby and a nice life. Next day I call stepdad to see how it went. He reassures me that he has done all he can and everything is back to normal. At this point I call him out and tell him I was conscious and explain to him what an apology is. But there is no dialogue with this guy like there is no dialogue with my mother. He proceeds to talk loudly over me like she does and basically call me a piece of shit for the amount he and mother have done for me. I speak to him first time like I never have before by calling him a hands off father and a pussy of a man who finally reaches out while he thinks I am under anesthesia to yell at my wife then pretend it’s cool, and I basically tell him he has never done a single thing for me to try and develop me into a man or nurture me as a child into an adult, but he thinks taking me on fishing trips and ski vacations are equivalent to love and nurturing growth and development just like my mom does. I reassure him that he has no right to talk about family being that he ruined his own as well as mine and couldn’t even tell my dad to his face that it was him who was sleeping with my mom behind his back when my dad came to him very upset as a friend when he got an anonymous phone tip at work one day. Then him and my mom laughed about it in court when my dad brought it up during the divorce. We ended with swearing and I felt very happy for finally giving my true feelings to him.
The birth: Months go by and nobody has said a thing. I can’t sleep at night seeing how much love I am getting from my father and his side for the baby, and my wife’s family, then thinking about how my own mother hasn’t reached out a single time. I’m dreaming about beating up my stepdad and it’s driving me mad. So weeks before the due date I reach out to my mom begging her to clear things up and apologize to my wife. Nothing. A week later i tell her how disappointed and abandoned I feel and want her in the family. Nothing. Baby comes a couple days early. Everyone is excited. Mom texts me begging for photos and to let everyone know. I tell her my brother and two stepsisters have received photos. I ask her to please reach out to wife she still needs to make amends for what’s happened between them and all she needs to do is reach out. Mom’s responses have been defensive, derisive, projecting, playing victim and referring to herself as a kicked puppy. Telling me my wife needs to apologize to her and making the conversation about mother son instead. She is beating around the bush. And she is sending me photos of my own baby that I did not send her. Her friends are congratulating me that I did not tell. Again she is pretending that everything is ok and it is not. She asked me to apologize to her husband for what I said on the phone that day. I said ok, watch this. So I sent the guy a message that was very apologetic and not passive aggressive or backhanded comments in any way. Still my mom won’t say anything.
Now: Baby is 6 days old. He is the best thing in my life and I wish my family were involved but it seems like I am living in a fantasy world where everyone can be happy together. I can be a jerk and have a terrible relationship with my mom, but I want more than anything to just feel loved enough where she can swallow her pride and make amends with my wife. Thats it. And she asked the other day to put a family group chat so everyone can be involved… for real? I know she is stressed with a high pressure job, but it seems heartless to me. She asks what big items she can get for the baby. Mom, baby is here we have everything for a couple months already. I said the biggest thing you can do is reach out and have a heart to heart with my wife so this rift can end and we can at least be cordial if you two can’t get along. I don’t think it will happen.
submitted by InstructionUnique722 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 18:46 Rocklight124 Some guy said MCU Spidey was the worst adaptation , and wanted to share my thoughts

note Everything in "BOLD" is not my points
"No Ben" Ben does exist, Peter has his bag with his name on it BFP/Ben Franklin Parker.
"No responsibility" He has a large amount of responsibility. This kid went into space to help Iron Man not cuz he's his "sidekick," but because he loves him and Peter Parker will never stand there and do nothing again after what happened to his Uncle Ben. If he had no responsibility he would not be The Spectacular Spider-Man. I'd say in a way that makes his sacrifice more substantial compared to the other Peter's he's been doing this since he was like what 13 or 14.
"Gets everything handed to him without struggle" His Uncle Ben Freaking Died, his Aunt May Freaking Died, his best friend Tony Stark/The Invincible Iron Man Freaking Died, His other Best friend doesn't remember him, Love you Ned, the love of his life doesn't even know he exist, and worst of all the ENTIRE world does remember all the sacrifice that Peter Parker made.
"More of an Iron Man sidekick than his own hero" Peter Parker is not Iron Man's sidekick. A LOT of people get this mixed up by not looking deeper than surface level. Peter never wanted to be Iron Man jr and Tony never meant for him to be. Tony was teaching Peter to be less of a "Spider-Man and more of a Spectacular Spider-Man." Notice how every time Peter asked Tony that he wants to be go on missions with the Avengers and to not look after the little guy, Tony said no stay close to the ground. Tony has always looked after the little guy after Ultron, and when he met Peter Parker, he saw a kid that was years ahead of the Avengers as a hero. He got what responsibility meant, and the Avengers were still learning what that meant, hell they even started a big ass fight over it. Tony taught Peter to be Peter, let him know that Peter Parker is enough you don't need to be Iron Man jr. He wanted him to carry on his legacy, being the shield around the planet. Tony Stark did what he did in Endgame, because of Peter Parker and his daughter Morgan. He left behind a legacy.
"No Mary Jane" Who cares that there isn't a Mary Jane, Michelle "MJ" Jones is closer to MJ than any other on screen MJ at least compared to the typical MJ, which is VERY inconsistent. Hell I'd say she's just as interesting as TASM Gwen who is just goat, but MJ is very close in my eyes. Plus if she makes Peter happy without weighing him down then I don't give a FUCK if she's not a red headed woman. Michelle "MJ" Jones is great.
"Canonically weakest Spider-Man" Weakest Spider-Man...so what he's a kid and his power is only going to grow. He's very much in the ballpark as his comic book counterpart. Plus his Spider-Sense is cool as fork.
"Cannot win a fight without help" Okay this one is just really cool to be. Peter is a kid that saw his Uncle taken away from him through violence and now he hates violence. Peter rarely threw a punch in any movie he was in compare his fight with Vulture to Mysterio and Green Goblin. Each fight has a bit more anger in it. Peter is always holding back, because he hates violence. In the comics he created his Web Shooters in order to take bad guys down without using violence. He's a kind hearted person and that's what makes him Spectacular.
"Probably a virgin" What the hell???
"Lame theme song" His theme is pretty freaking cool and I love how they use it as a light motif throughout his journey as Spider-Man.
"No good swinging scenes" I don't know about y'all, but I freaking loved his final swing in Far From Home; but after seeing The Amazing Spider-Man Web Swing nothing is the same after.
"Needed to rely on Tobey and Andrew for success" So??? And Tobey and Andrew needed to rely on the Comics for success.
"No real world struggles" He's a kid getting through High school is enough for him. And his family was clearly still broke, you can find hints if you look hard enough.
"Short" So, Tom Holland is my favorite Spider-Man still. Peter has never been tall, just average.
submitted by Rocklight124 to Spiderman [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 17:47 myheadfelloff Is my marketing site too insane?

I wanted to do a unique marketing site, and I was really into the neo-brutalist theme (like Gumroad, etc) and I found a cool template and chopped it up and used it.
But now that I'm launched and marketing more, it's starting to bother me. Maybe it's just too crazy. Maybe that's why my conversion rate is 0.13% (But I'm still getting sales, like $2k to $3k a month, but that's mostly from people I've talked to before they buy)
I connected with a CRO guy on twitter this morning and was talking to him, and it made me doubt my site further (he didn't even critique it, it just spurred my own thoughts) and right after that I had a call that is going to do some marketing for me, and he said "honestly you need an entire revamp", and he wasn't even selling me on a revamp service or anything, he just thought it needed to be done to make his own marketing efforts for me more fruitful.
I have a million other things to get done, so focusing on a site revamp wasn't something I wanted to do anytime soon, but if it helps my conversion, I'll make time somehow.
What are y'all's thoughts? Is my marketing site too insane? https://www.saasydb.com
submitted by myheadfelloff to SaaS [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 17:10 HamburgerDeaths0 Picture Poster Wants a GM, and Needs Help with their Character

I was contacted about an ad a few months back. I wanted original content, no fandom, multi-genre partnerships. The person who answered originally wanted a GameMaster or GM, and I didn't know what that was. But their kinks were on point, we had good energy, so we settled in to simply roleplay with one another. And that's when the shenanigans benanigans.
I'll say this, they were enthusiastic, with a lot of energy, and seemed literate. They started by posting no less than a dozen possible comic book drawings of their character. They asked me which ones I liked. I am the type that will take initiative, maybe even a bit too much. So I simply replied that whatever they liked would be fine. The result was...more pictures? All more or less the same character theme, but asking me to pick a top five out of the 25 they'd posted. To just keep it moving, I selected one at random and said I enjoyed it. They ended up posting three new pictures, and said they would pick one from those. Uh, OK. Meanwhile I don't even have a character in mind.
It became clear quickly that this person had no intention of not getting their GM after all, even after agreeing to RP a one on one. Character creation with them consisted of a bewildering series of rapid one line questions, so simple that they made me doubt they'd ever done this before:
am i a secret agent? do i wear black latex? do i have kids? can you tell me how quietly i am sneaking around when i kill things by sound levels? what's my current cover job? how many people has my character killed? am i married? where do i live? do i cheat on my spouse? how evil am i? what is my character's name? how old am i? did i ever blow something up?
You get the idea. Essentially, this person wants to RP TO themselves, but with an audience of one that also determines their entire character and simply reacts to what their spandex clad assassin does. "i can't wait to see how you describe my kills." How I...what?
But I soldiered on, maybe just to see how outlandish it got. It sure did. The RP began. It was set in the early 60s, in Vietnam, about two secret agents. My character was hardly considered. I could have said I was Ho Chi freakin' Minh Muhammad Ali and they wouldn't have batted an eye. Because my character didn't matter. They were forever urging me to get to the point, that they didn't like reading my character "have an entire conversation by themselves." They wanted to write about sex and violence, but cartoonishly so, and simply have me pat them on the back and expound upon it. It was the most exhausting and strange experience ever.
I could get into other things, such as how they wanted to somehow incorporate sci-fi level weaponry into the early days of the Vietnam War, but the RP mercifully burned itself out. I was burned out too, and moved on.
Bonus point: anytime this person got an answer or an interaction they liked, they'd say "eheheh." I wanted to type the same as I finally let them go.
submitted by HamburgerDeaths0 to BadRPerStories [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 16:54 Fluid_Lavishness3057 The Sergeant Beret - my thoughts: what do you think about Schematic?

I own the dog bone schematic and I have extensively used the chucks of flesh to use at dog house to get a friendly hellhound. I love the hellhound and always try my hardest to keep it alive, I adore him or her.
I did a run in DA and exfil with one of these (I don’t have the schematic) so I thought I try it. I don’t feel it’s as beneficial as I thought. The MERC, whose name was jimmy i believe? He spent more time parachuting in then backing me up. In T2 the gas station by the football field I went from the pumps around the back, he started to follow then despawn and parachuted in again?
In the T2 raid weapon stash by the bridge to T3 - opposite the first dark aether I got on the roof - he hid in a corner down the bottom, the zombies either ignore him or don’t see him - whereas waffles the hellhound usually clears the whole building from top to bottom! During the mission he respawn and parachute next to me, I thought a sign of unity? No, he jumped off the roof and camped in his corner again lol. And when the mangler showed, he run and hid around the corner, waffles gets stuck in.
I also don’t feel the urge to save him like I do with Waffles. Maybe it’s because as a rookie the elites in strongholds down me a lot lol.
Although considering his weapon isn’t pap he killed the zombies with 2 bullets. It looked like his gun was one with a conversion kit?
So, what’s the deal? Have you guys had better luck with your mercs, or is it just me getting the short end of the stick with a sky-loving sidekick?
submitted by Fluid_Lavishness3057 to MWZombies [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 16:22 freak_flag_roc A fun event for Neurodivergent peeps and their friends!

A fun event for Neurodivergent peeps and their friends!
I'm hosting my first event next week at the awesome Muck Duck Studio.
Click here to register.
Here's the deets:

Join us for the inaugural NeuroDive mixer, a unique gathering to connect and celebrate neurodiversity.

Hosted by the Brainbow Connection podcast in collaboration with Muck Duck Studio, this event is designed to weave together the colorful threads of our diverse community. What to Expect NeuroDive offers an array of activities tailored for engagement and comfort. From thought-provoking discussion circles to fun and fast-paced Speed Friending, there’s something for everyone.
Recognizing the need for quieter spaces, we also provide a dedicated quiet zone for those who need a break from the social whirl. Open to All This event is open to both neurodivergent individuals and neurotypical allies who wish to engage in a space designed with neurodiversity in mind. It’s a fantastic opportunity to understand, share, and celebrate different perspectives in a supportive environment.
Detailed Overview of Activities
  • Welcome & Check-In: Start the evening with a smile and a goody bag full of surprises.
  • Icebreaker: Engage in Neurodivergent Bingo to break the ice and win prizes.
  • Interest Circles: Delve into discussions on various themes with question cards to guide the conversation.
  • Speed Friending: Rotate through quick meet-and-greets to build connections.
  • Group Collage: Collaborate on a community art project to express collective creativity.
  • Mindfulness Closure: Wind down with a group mindfulness session, reflecting on the experiences of the evening. Nuts and Bolts
  • Price: $15 per person, but ~no one will be turned away for lack of funds~.
  • Registration: We encourage you to register in advance to help us plan better, but feel free to show up if you decide last minute!
  • Comfort: Bring anything that helps you feel comfortable and happy—whether it’s a favorite cushion, headphones, or a book.
We're excited to host you at NeuroDive, where every interaction is a step toward understanding and every story shared enriches our tapestry. See you there!
Click here to register.
https://preview.redd.it/6mdx0k2bml0d1.png?width=1080&format=png&auto=webp&s=2669ad4d2e4cc79818913337f0d061bd5a913575
https://preview.redd.it/livhp25bml0d1.png?width=1080&format=png&auto=webp&s=babfcaa1aef49e0e812917e4adbe1af8d3302c78
submitted by freak_flag_roc to Rochester [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 16:01 AutoModerator Today's Discussion - 15 May 2024

Resources:

ACFC Twitter list
Master ticket index thread
ACFC schedule via Google calendar
How to Watch ACFC games according to NWSL
Home game themes and Giveaways
Individual player profiles thread
Angel City FC v Houston Dash Pre-Match
Angel City FC v Houston Dash Live match
Angel City FC v Houston Dash Post Match
Angel City FC v Houston Dash Next Day
Angel City FC v Houston Dash Rate
Good Morning,
At what point do we become a cynical fan base? You know the kind that rejects hope, because its the hope that kills you. "Don't take away our losing, its all we have left!"
Talk about whatever you want.
This is an ideal thread for you to make general inquiries about things that are commonly asked, like how is the shade on the East stand at 3pm? Or where are the ADA bathrooms? As well, low effort posts can be directed here as comments in order to keep sub organized and conversation centralized for other users. Consider this the Town Square, or AngelCityFC Reddit's very own Starbucks.
AngelCity FC Reddit Classifieds: seeking a user to make (this) Daily Discussion post three times weekly for the duration of the year. Expectations will be to demonstrate consistency. If interested please contact moderators via modmail.
submitted by AutoModerator to AngelCityFC [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 15:44 Saspurillah Non-religious talking to a Catholic Professor about his faith.

Hi all,
First, this is a long post, and for that I apologize. I have a lot on my mind I’m trying to process right now. I’m also a creative writing minor, so I realize this will come across as a story.
I attend a fairly conservative college where most of the students being Christian. I myself am not religious, and due to the environment I try to keep that fact to myself so as not to be rude or disruptive. Some people do know about my lack of belief, and I’ve had mixed responses from them when they learn. Some want to convert me, others are rather nonchalant about it.
The reason I am writing is because I recently had a conversation with one of my literature professors that has left me wondering how I should respond. The conversation started after I asked him a follow up question to something he mentioned about the Bible: “That it’s the greatest story about the human condition humanity ever told.” For context, he’s been a Catholic his entire life.
My follow up question to him after class was this: “But if it’s just a story, why should we believe it, especially when there seem to be so many contradictions within it?” This tends to be my first question when someone makes a claim about the Bible, and it is born partly out of curiosity (I genuinely want to know why, as no Christian I’ve talked with has given me a good answer to it) and partly as a challenge, as I don’t want to see him wasting his life worshipping something that isn’t true. Perhaps this is not the best motivation, but it is what sparked my question.
He didn’t answer right away, but when he did this is (roughly) what he said: “My favorite story is William Faulkner’s The Sound and the Fury. I think it, while being fictitious, presents a deep understanding of human nature. I read it to understand the characters, and, by understanding them, hopefully learn a little bit more about myself and others in the process. Does it matter if it is true? Depends on what you mean by true. If you mean it in the sense of “this actually happened,” then you will be disappointed by a lot of literature. But if you mean it as “this reveals an important quality of human condition,” then I think it is very true.” He then chuckled and added, “Your question reminds me of a quote one of my professors told me when I was a student: ‘Everything in the Bible is true; some of it actually happened.”
This surprised me, as this is the first time I had really talked with someone who didn’t take the Bible (specifically the creation story) literally. I clarified with him to make sure I understood him correctly, and he affirmed what I said.
I probed him a bit more about that, asking if the fact that it was written by humans makes it less trustworthy. Why should we place so much faith in something that was written by mere men? I figured he would say something like “God wrote the Bible,” as that is what people I know have said.
He paused again and thought. His eventual response was this (if I recall correctly): “I have two reasons for why I believe in the Bible, one reason for believing in God, and one additional reason for why I am Catholic. The first reason for why I believe in the word of the Bible is because I think it is written by God. Unfortunately, that isn’t the most convincing reason even for myself, as why should I believe it is written by God? This leads to my second reason, which is that I simply find the story of the Bible presents to be the most beautiful and brilliant work to ever exist. I have spent years studying the intricacies of the Bible simply because I find its underlying themes and its story of human failure and promise for redemption to be gripping and compelling. Shakespeare doesn’t even come close, in my opinion. If it’s not written by God with human hands, then I don’t know what is. But this still is built upon believing that God exists, so let’s go to why I think that.
"The way I see it, faith is a natural part of human life. It is impossible to find a functional person who doesn’t trust something, and trust is one of the pillars of faith, so similar in fact that I view it as faith. If everything in the world is man-made and artificial, without divine influence, I think at the very least I would still choose to believe in the word of the Bible because I find it the most beautiful thing in the world. A large part of the reason I believe in God is because I think it is natural to have faith in something. If I am going to have faith in something no matter what, I want my faith to be in something beautiful, intellectually rigorous, and good for humanity.
“This leads into my reason for being Catholic, which is in large part it is because I think it presents the most holistic, beautiful, and practical theory for human success. Everything it teaches is geared toward human success, both individually and socially. People might disagree with what the Catholic Church defines as “human success,” but I think the Catholic Church is onto something.”
I asked him to elaborate, and he explained how the Catholic Church (if I understand correctly) places great emphasis on God’s first two commands to Adam and Eve: “Be fruitful and multiply.” “Multiply,” he explains, “sounds like what it says: make more humans.” This is not to say every male and female should hook up, but rather that we as a society should be concerned about the “continuation of our species.”
This command is to be taken hand in hand with the next one: “Be fruitful.” Making lots of babies isn’t the point--the point is to make lots of “good” humans. What does he mean by ‘good?’ “That,” he shrugs, “is where a lot of people disagree. I myself am not entirely sure how to describe ‘good’ humans, but I’ll try. I could say ‘love’ is the measure of a 'good' human, but even there people disagree with what ‘love’ is. I think love, however, is fundamentally about willing the best for the other, to the point of being willing to lay down your life for that person. An enduring society that produces those types of people is one that I would say is a good society, and I think people who take the ideals of Catholicism seriously and live them out as intended are the most likely to do that.”
I asked him about the abuse that the LGBTQ community has had to endure at the hands of Christians, and how the Catholic Church does not recognize same-sex marriage and calls those people sinners. I also asked about how denying abortion access to women is loving to them. He winces at this, and says this in reply: “A lot of people say and do terrible things in the name of Jesus and 'love.' The Catholic Church’s official teachings do not say we should be cruel to LGBTQ members or to women who have had or want an abortion. Unfortunately, people are people and people are often hypocrites, many without realizing it. When it comes to the LGBTQ community, the Catholic Church does not say ‘being homosexual is a sin,’ it says that homosexuality is a disordered desire. The ‘sin’ comes from acting on that desire, as the Catholic Church holds that all sexual acts should be reserved for the opposite sex as a unitive and potentially procreative act within the security of monogamous marriage between a man and a woman. This goes back to “be fruitful and multiply:” Sex is so very pleasurable because it is extremely important for reproduction, which is what all life, in general, tries to do. Since the sexual act has been shown scientifically to significantly rewire the human brain, shouldn’t we try to be as careful as we possibly can be with it and make sure it is used for its intended purpose: to make babies? That is part of the Church’s practical reasoning for why homosexual acts (and extramarital and non-unitive sex) are not to be encouraged or endorsed by the Catholic Church.
"Many Christians, unfortunately, forget the lessons of the Gospel stories of the woman about to stoned and the woman at the well: those two woman were isolated and outcast from their homes for their sexual acts; one of them was about to be killed it. What happens to these women is intended to be viewed as unloving. Jesus, however, befriends them despite them ‘objectively’ sinning. He never endorsed their behavior, but he still treated them with respect and love. Even if people today might argue those women did nothing wrong, the point of those stories is that Jesus considered them ‘sinners’ and yet he loved and befriended them anyway. That is literally what Jesus was doing in every city he went to: Spending time with the people who were considered terrible sinners, not because he agreed with their actions but because they are human and thus deserve to be loved. I think Christians today too often forget that is the core message of the Jesus' teachings: to love one another.
“As for abortion, the Catholic Church’s position on that rests upon our emphasis on the inherent dignity of human life. The Catholic Church believes human life begins at conception. Operating under that view, abortion is murder and should thus be strongly discouraged and/or condemned. Personally, I think it should still remain a decision between a woman and her doctor, as the doctor is the only one with the medical expertise necessary to accurately say when an abortion is actually necessary to save the woman’s life. That, however, is a tragedy, and it is one the Catholic Church acknowledges is an unfortunate situation of ‘abortion is necessary to save a life that would be otherwise lost.’ Doctors need the confidence and ability to make difficult decisions without fear of being punished for it. That means there is a risk of abuse and malpractice, but that is the nature of trust.”
We were running out of time before he had to get to his next class, so I asked him one last question that was on my mind: “Can the existence of God be proved?”
He chuckled at this. “Some of my colleagues will likely disagree with me on this, but I personally don’t put a lot of stock in ‘proofs for God.’ I haven’t found one that convinces me, and I believe in God. I think they do a good job of suggesting God exists, but proving He exists? I don’t think so. I don’t think it’s possible to prove God’s existence to someone who doesn’t already believe in God. I think the most we can do is show is why belief in God is not illogical—that’s the role of apologetics. But I can’t say, with absolute certainty, that I am right. That’s part of why it is faith: We might be wrong. If we are wrong, then ‘we are of all people the most pitiable.’” (I had to look this up afterward, as he made it sound like a quote. He was quoting Paul’s letter (1 Cor:15-19) talking about what it means if Christians are wrong about their faith. It seems he was applying this quote to all people of faith who are wrong.)
He gave me an example of what he means by ‘impossible to prove:’ “Think of your paper for this class. You, hopefully, are writing about something that you think is true. You are speculating at what the author meant, at how the author thought, why the author wrote the book or scene the way he or she did, or any works or events that likely influenced the work you are studying. Can you know for certain that you are correct?”
My answer: “No. But I can find evidence for it that shows I probably am.”
His reply: “Exactly. It is the same way with God. I don’t think we can prove God definitely exists the same way you can’t prove, with 100% confidence, that your paper’s thesis is correct. I think there is a lot of evidence that suggests God does exist, but I can’t prove it. Belief in God is inductive, and therefore inherently uncertain. This is how the Catholic Church also understands “Natural Law” and “Moral Law.” We can’t really prove either of them exist, we just have a lot of evidence gathered from observing the world and humanity that we think strongly suggests a natural and moral law. Apologists are the ones in charge of showing how our teachings and beliefs on these subjects are not inconsistent and intellectually bankrupt to hold.
“One last thing, to explain what I mean by ‘lots of evidence for God’s existence.’ Imagine we were to find Van Gogh’s The Starry Night out in the woods. I can’t prove that someone painted it, but I think a strong case can be made that someone did paint it. I might go so far as to argue it is obvious. That’s how I tend to view the world and the universe: one giant painting made by God by means of scientific laws and evolution.”
At this point he had to leave for his next class. He thanked me for the conversation and asked if I was still able to make it to cigars this Friday to celebrate the end of the term. I told him yes, and that I will probably have more questions and that I hope he didn’t mind if I asked him. He said he did not mind.
So that leads me to here: I have never had a conversation with a person of faith like this before. Almost every response he had appealed to an intuition that he seemed fine with not everyone sharing. He's also the first Christian I've met who says he doesn't think God can be proved and doesn't seem bothered by that. I suppose my question for you is: What should I ask him? What should he clarify?
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2024.05.15 15:40 brbwaterbending For the engaged/married: How much doubt is normal? "I just knew" is killing me.

My partner and I have been together 5 years (me 31F, him 32M) and started seeing a couples therapist 2 months ago for what I would call pre-engagement counseling. Our relationship is generally good, but we needed some support/structure around this decision - we grew up with very different models of marriage from our parents - and it's been really helpful so far.
However, the doubt is like this obnoxious cat that keeps sneaking back in through any cracked door even though our lingering issues (nothing alarming like some stuff on this subreddit; moreso things like working on having deeper conversations and date nights instead of defaulting to TV on the couch) are visibly improving with the help of therapy.
I've been asking my friends/family what made them decide to get married, and they all seem so confident about their decision. "I just knew" is a common theme. I guess what I really want people to do for me is normalize some degree of doubt, but I don't want to ask about it directly because I don't want the friend alarm bells to go off. The only one to even mention doubt was my friend's recent fiance, who said the decision came when the major doubts about the relationship were laid to rest.
But what if this never goes away? I know what my anxiety looks like and this looks like it: intellectualizing, hyper-analyzing, every little thing like a perfectly normal stretch of silence triggering thoughts like "we don't talk enough, I don't want to be one of those old couples eating silently together in a restaurant!"
I made some bad calls making big decisions in my 20s and it's given me particularly bad anxiety around it. I don't think I've ever "just known" anything in my entire life. He treats me well, I can always count on him, I know I love him and the life we have together. And yet. What if I write off doubt as anxiety and it turns out to be intuition I should have listened to?
All I know for sure is that on days where I feel good about marriage and truly believe it could be the right choice, I feel great. But on days where I'm sucked into doubt and I think it might not be right and we might have to break up, I feel terrible. I don't want to break up. But we've been together 5 years, marriage is important to me, and I don't want to spend forever in a relationship I can't commit to, either.
What have people's experiences around doubt and engagement/marriage been like?
submitted by brbwaterbending to AskWomenOver30 [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 15:01 ibid-11962 More Murtagh Questions [Post Murtagh Christopher Paolini Q&A Wrap Up #5]

As discussed in the first post, this is my ongoing compilation of the remaining questions Christopher has answered online between August 1st 2023 and April 30th 2024 which I've not already covered in other compilations.
As always, questions are sorted by topic, and each Q&A is annotated with a bracketed source number. Links to every source used and to the other parts of this compilation will be provided in a comment below.
The previous post focused on the essence of the Murtagh book and character. This installment will cover additional Murtagh-related questions, such as about specific elements of the writing process. The next post will cover the writing and publication of Eragon.

Further Details about Writing Murtagh

Creating the Maps
For Murtagh I did all the maps after writing the book, but that's because I already knew all the locations and was familiar with them from writing the series. So I didn't need to do the maps before writing the book. [12]
What is your system for drawing maps? I usually start by thinking of what I want a location to look like. And that has nothing to do with a map. That's usually just thinking about how it will serve the story. And then the map will be based off of that. The biggest decision is usually what the style of the map should be, whether I want to do like a top-down city map for a place, or if I want it to be a more of a realistic image. So more of, let's say, a landscape painting, one could say, or if I want to do something that's more allegorical and evocative or symbolic, which there's actually one of those in Murtagh that really isn't a map, but it's a symbolic map, let's put it that way. And all of that is governed by what is the effect I hope to achieve with the reader. Because if it doesn't achieve the effect I want, then what's the point of doing it. I do try to avoid maps where I have to draw every single building if it's a city map because that's just annoying. I'd rather draw mountains than cities. [12]
I love the sort of top-down look, which is why I drew the the original map for Eragon in this style. [12]
Maps are an awesome thing, and they add so much to a world. And that's why I love drawing them, and I love finding them in books I'm reading. And it's also why I make such an effort to draw and paint maps for my own books. [12]
Favorite Parts
What kind of scenes do you enjoy writing most? I really empathize with the characters, so I find it difficult to write scenes where they experience difficulties. I like to write scenes where people wonder about the world, or where the story reaches a climax. With Murtagh, for example, this is the confrontation at the end of the book. Or the fight with the big fish, Muckmaw. There are also quiet moments that I enjoy writing. Again in Murtagh, when Silna – the werecat child – kisses Murtagh's head, that was a very special moment. I like to write things that have meaning and that requires context, so you have to build up to moments that are meaningful, both for myself as a writer and for the reader. [23]
Do you have a favorite moment in the book between Thorn and Murtagh? I have a couple of them. There's a moment after the encounter with Muckmaw when they exchange true names that I quite liked. The end of the Gil'ead sequence. Thorn has an appearance at the end of that sequence, which was rather dramatic. And then right near the end of the book, Thorn gets a crowning moment of awesome, one might say, to use internet speak. But Thorn really, he comes through in a pinch, and I just loved writing that. [32]
What was your favorite scene or moment that you wrote for Murtagh? I'd say the last chapter, and I'm not gonna say why, but I think it's obvious. There's a scene with a creature named Muckmaw, which I quite enjoy. Not just the confrontation with Muckmaw, the aftermath in the water. I was reading Blood Meridian at the time, and I think that influenced my descriptions. And there is a point in the story where something is renamed. And that was a very meaningful scene for me. Also, there's a werecat in the book and I love werecats. They're so much fun to write. [34]
What is your favorite line you've written? The first line I wrote for Murtagh before I had anything really for the book, I thought it was going to be the first line of the book and it ended up being partway through the first chapter, and it was "A man with a dragon is never truly alone." Which since he's an outcast the whole theme of being alone or not alone is kind of relevant. [33]
My favorite good/bad line from Murtagh is: “The water was like liquid ice.”.. . . Yeah, yeah. I know. But you understand what I meant! And that’s the point of writing. Ahahaha!* I didn't notice! just imagined really cold water Can’t tell you how many times I stepped into the Yellowstone River and thought: “This feels like ice! But liquid.” [T]
Providing Context
In the acknowledgments section you said you owe your agent some sushi? Yes! I bet him a sushi dinner, an expensive new York sushi dinner, that I could keep Murtagh under the length of Eragon. And I got close. The first draft was one hundred and sixty eight thousand words long. Eragon is one hundred and fifty six thousand words long. And I figured well I usually drop about ten percent of length in editing, so I thought I'd do that. The problem is I hate over explaining things. I know that sounds incredibly hypocritical based off what I've actually written, but because of my experiences of over explaining things, I've really tried to not do that as much, and so I wrote the book assuming that someone had read the Inheritance Cycle and remembered it. So I didn't explain what a lot of things were because I assumed the reader knew. And my editor came back and said "Christopher, I know what you're doing, but you can't do that. Because someone might pick this up without having read the Inheritance Cycle. And even if someone read the Inheritance Cycle, it's been twelve years. So provide a little context." Well, that ended up being thirty-three thousand words, give or take. So now we're at one hundred and ninety eight thousand words, so I owe my agent a sushi dinner. [17]
It's always interesting to me to see how people do their first chapters in a series. Because I always feel like chapter one is like "previously on..." It's funny. I wrote my latest book with basically no callbacks or explanations of established information. After four books and a million published words, you kind of think people have it under their belt. And my editor came back and she was like, "It's been eleven years since the last book, even if people are fans of the series, you got to give them a little more." So usually when I write a first draft, it drops by about 10% in editing. And with that book, it went up by 33,000 words, which all of it was basically context, which was interesting. So that was a first for me. I'm a kitchen sink author, so I throw everything in and then I usually cut back during editing. [33]
I would love to write books that are more around the length of 100,000 to 150,000 words. Like that's a good, solid length. That's where I was shooting for with Murtagh, but for some reason my editor kept asking me to add more and more stuff so we ended up close to 200,000 words. [1]
Final word count of Murtagh is 198,983 words. So my editor had me ADD about 34,000 words to the book over the course of editing/revising. Ha! That's a first. [T]
Gil'ead Sequence
Interesting choice to break it up into the sections of each city. Just the section in Gil'ead is basically a novel on its own. There's a full arc in Gil'ead that would be a normal size novel for any other writer. I nearly split it into two volumes, actually, there. But my editor said, "no, don't do that". The funny thing about Gil'ead is that actually was not in my original outline. The whole sequence. And the reason is that, for me, I was envisioning a much shorter book. And the whole thing was going to be them going to the village and dealing with Bachel. So let's get to the village as quickly as possible. So we'll just have a chapter or two at the beginning of getting the information. Well, storytelling 101, you can't make it easy for the character. So having Murtagh just be able to go get that information somewhere, find it out, just felt too easy. Also, I kind of locked myself into a little path because the first chunk of the book is reworking the short story from The Fork, the Witch, and the Worm. And at the end of that, Murtagh does not have the information he needs. So he can't get it from the people he interacts with in that chapter, which if I were writing Murtagh as a complete standalone, I could have considered that. So then I thought, "well, he'll go to Gil'ead and we'll have a really quick thing there. And he'll get his information." I started writing it the way I originally envisioned. But again it was too easy. So it was like, "OK. There needs to be a challenge here. What else is going on? How does it tie into my larger world and story?" And it does. There's some unresolved storylines there, but it does tie into the larger stuff I'm going to later. And then it was half the book. Seriously. At the end of the following chapter, right after Gil'ead, is almost perfectly 50% through the book. I'm sure everyone's heard of the three act play, but there's a competing theory of storytelling, which I'm actually very fond of, which is the five act play. So you have two acts at the beginning, two acts at the end, and then your middle act, and then you have an act in the middle. And in that middle act, you have a tipping point where your character sort of sees what they need, or sees what they can become. They ultimately see their own solution to their problems, but then the rest of the back half of the story is them grappling with that solution, coming to terms with it. And that actually worked, it was not intentional, but it worked out perfectly with the structure of this book. The structure of this book is also directly inspired by some of the structuring that I did in my sci-fi novels and I carried some of it back into Alagaësia. [11]
In regard of Murtagh or any other part of your work, what's the most intense moment for you during the creative process when you are in the midst of writing a novel? A lot of it is intense. I'm gonna divide it into two sections. The creative process itself, in the sense that where I'm creating the story and the characters and the world. In this case, of course, the world was pretty much in place, but in the outlining phase, I should say, that's a lot of fun. There's some pressure in the sense that I know if I don't get it right in that stage, that no matter how well I write the book, it won't hang together particularly well for the reader. So there's strain in that sense that I really want to get it right. But I wouldn't say there's any real pressure, because there's no deadlines at that point. I'm not actually writing the book. During the writing itself, there's definitely strain and intensity in wanting to get it right and do a good job of writing each individual scene and chapter and storyline. And sometimes that can get difficult, especially if I feel like I'm not really getting where I need to get in terms of the effect on the reader. I had that in a couple places in the first draft with Murtagh. One was with the character Bachel herself, who was quite different in the first draft. And then another one actually was the whole Gil'ead sequence, where my original idea for that sequence is actually what happens now in terms of the werecat kittens and all of that. And then I second guessed myself and thought, "well, maybe that's a little cheesy. Maybe I won't have a ticking clock element to that sequence. So I'm just gonna not have that, but he'll still have these various adventures in order to earn this information from the werecat Carabel." And the problem is it removed any sense of tension from that sequence. So I ended up having to rework a lot of the Gil'ead sequence to reintroduce that element, bring in the tension and make it all work. But both of those things happened in the second chunk, which I was gonna say is revision. And revision and editing tends to be the most intense part of the process, because at that point we're usually under deadline. We've committed to a release date and things are happening on the business side of things, that are sort of like unstoppable forces. The ticking clock in the real world. And that tends to be the most intense part because it's not that I can't do the work, I always can and I always am able to get where I wanna go. I'm not stressed about that, it's just instead of having two months to do something, now you got to do it in two weeks, and oh hey, you got a new baby you got to take care of at the same time. And that's what makes it really intense. [19]
One of the things that I loved about the very first half of this novel is that it is a quintessential RPG action adventure. Because poor Murtagh gets pushed and pulled willingly and unwillingly in the strangest directions. Yeah, he's on the series of fetch quests. It's funny. I've had a bunch of people react differently to that. I've seen people who kind of hate it and really love it, and a lot of people who say, "Well, Christopher's just writing out his D&D session". I literally have never played D&D except for my recent trip down to the Authors in the Dungeon down in Utah. So I don't play D&D. I have no one here to play it with. The only RPGs I've ever played are Skyrim and the Mass Effect series. My logic with that sequence was there was a whole lot we needed to see about Murtagh's back history without rehashing the Inheritance Cycle, without actually going back and rewriting scenes from his point of view. And just doing it all in flashbacks and dreams gets a bit tedious. On top of that, originally that sequence wasn't in the book I was going to write. I was going to start with essentially the opening. And then we were going to go to Nal Gorgoth fairly quickly in the book. But it just made it too easy. No one's going to give them the information for free. There's always a price attached to information. There had to be difficulty in getting it. And then once I was digging into that, I was like, okay, how can I use this to show some aspects of Murtagh's character, and then how will that then get reflected in the second half of the book? And how will that let me inform what happens in the second half of the book? And I really enjoyed that stuff. Muckmaw was a particular favorite of mine. [32]
Thorn
One of the things that we get a lot of in this book that was really wonderful after reading Inheritance, was Thorn's-- we don't really get his POV, but we get some POV through Murtagh of him. I think he only has one line in the entire Inheritance Cycle. In the last book. And we get a lot of him here. And we get a very different Rider-Dragon relationship between him and Murtagh versus Saphira and Eragon. What was the process of crafting that relationship to be similar in its like magical quality, but also different in the fact that they had a very trying kind of hatching? Well that was the key right there. I wanted it to feel different while still maintaining the sense that they'll back each other up no matter what, which they have in the past. That's an important part of that. But Murtagh is kind of a difficult personality himself. Thorn, as we see in the book, of course, had a very, very difficult upbringing under Galbatorix and then later on. And that leaves scars. That leaves marks. So trying to find a way to reflect that in the relationship without having them also just be at each other's throats, because they're not. They are being supportive. But at the same time, it's perhaps an overused word these days, but they have trauma that they are having to battle. [11]
One of my favorite things is the relationship between Murtagh and Thorn--they’re such a lonely duo, but it allows the book to kind of delve into that dragon/rider bond in a new way. What sets their relationship apart do you think? Murtagh and Thorn were joined under the most difficult of circumstances, and that shapes their interactions in a thousand different ways. Their relationship is more, ah, thorny than Eragon and Saphira’s, but they also still love each other and would lay down their lives for one another, should the occasion demand it. I found their interactions really interesting to write. Also, it felt important that I didn’t directly replicate Eragon and Saphira’s relationship. Murtagh and Thorn are very different beings, and readers should see that. [15]
What is the relationship between Murtagh and his dragon Thorn? Thorn's egg hatched when they were imprisoned by King Galbatorix. The two friends have been tortured and manipulated. They retain many traumas. They care deeply for each other and are closely bonded. But their relationship is more difficult than that of Eragon and his dragon Saphira. [4]
Claustrophobia
I definitely got choked up with just Thorn and his claustrophobia and how it was written, how it was handled, everything surrounding it. Out of pure curiosity, do you or do someone you know have that kind of claustrophobia that you were able to speak to about? No. A large part of the act of writing is the act of imagination, just like with acting. But even though there's no one in my life who suffers from that, when I'm writing Thorn or anyone who might feel that, I do my best to feel what they're feeling, which is why when writing scenes or a large chunk of a book where perhaps things are difficult for the characters, I have a bad time. Yeah, I hope you take breaks. Yeah, that's where it's good to go play with the kids and take a load off one's mind. But some of the battle scenes in Inheritance really got to me at times, because I'm thinking actually especially in Inheritance, but also in Brisingr, there were some large set pieces, battles. And it just takes a couple of weeks to write sometimes. And that's a long time to have your head in blood and guts. [11]
Bachel
You write so many diverse women in your books that we really enjoy. Between Arya, Angela, Nasuada, Queen Islanzadi, you write fantasy with women in positions of power, with agency and with action. And then we get to this book and we meet this villain, Bachel, and she's basically like, "what if Angela was evil?" I hadn't thought of it that way. I was reading the book. I was like, "Did Christopher Paolini and his sister have a fight? What changed in that relationship?" Because she's awful. So I've watched a lot of movies in my life, and a lot of old movies too. I was thinking of some of the classic actresses from the Golden Age of Hollywood who would come on the screen with a very imperious feel, like Sunset Boulevard or All About Eve or some of those films. And Bachel is sort of in that category of presence. And I think it's exactly what was needed to put Murtagh off balance. I was also thinking of Kai Winn from Deep Space Nine. I've always said that Kai Winn and from Harry Potter the headmistress Umbridge, and Hyacinth Bouquet from the British show Keeping Up Appearances. The three of them in a room together will be like a nuclear explosion. When you were approaching bringing this book from the short story about The Fork into a full novel, at what point did you create this character and where did she come from? I had a general idea before writing Murtagh, of course. I did a lot of plotting and preparatory work, but you never know how a character is going to come across until you write the first draft. And in the first draft, Bachel was not as successful as she is now, I think. I was writing the first draft quickly, and I was thinking of the stories a little bit more of like a Edgar Rice Burroughs style adventures. You go off into the jungle, and you find a hidden temple and lost civilization sort of thing. And as a result, in the first draft, Bachel was much more vampy. I really went hard on that angle. And then looking back over, it's like it didn't work. And it was so cliche and obvious. It was like, yeah, I needed to find another approach. So I kept reworking Bachel with each cycle of revision and it was getting better. The character was getting better and better, but I wasn't fully committing to the change. And it was right at the end of revisions. I mean, we were down to the wire and my editor said, we're still not quite there. And even though I hated to have to have any more work at that point, I knew she was right. So I went in. We're talking with a week to spare before we went to the printers. And I rewrote the first four chapters or so when he gets to the village. I rewrote pretty much every line of dialogue of hers and every description of her to bring it to where we are. And then I was like, "OK, now it works", and my editor agreed. She is terrifying and one of those characters that's not mustache twirly evil, but has so much evil within her. She thinks she can do no wrong, that she is always doing the right thing and that she knows what's best for all the people around her. And as a result is capable of anything. So all of which is to answer your question, her character was an iterative process to get where she needed to go. [11]
I try to imagine what it is to create characters and if some of them have the purpose to be a particular message or stand as a parable for a message or an idea and if yes, what does Bachel mean to you in a deeper way? I think the Bachel to me represents unquestioning belief and also the tyranny of unchecked power and control over people's lives. I think what differentiates Bachel from a real world cult leader, for example, and this actually kind of made it interesting to me, is that the Dreamers and Bachel are rational in the sense that they are believing in something that actually exists. The power that they are in awe of and that they are afraid of and that they worship actually exists. And the same is true of the priests of Helgrind. So in a sense they are not irrational to have that reaction. You might argue it's the wrong reaction. I would argue that they're overdoing it and the reaction is wrong and perhaps even evil, but they have more reason for their belief than a lot of people sometimes do because they have physical evidence on an ongoing basis of their object of worship. But again, Bachel would to me represent unchecked fanatical belief as well as personal exploitation of one's power over others. [19]
The cult experience in the pages of Murtagh eerily echoed in some ways certain experiences I've had with religion. Could you talk about where that part of your writing came from or how you went about writing it? I understand why that comment's anonymous, and I'm going to kind of adhere to that philosophy of anonymity here. Without going into details, I've had some family members who were in a cult at one point. And that occasioned quite a bit of discussion in my life growing up. Although the cult might seem, and probably is, completely over the top and cartoony in some ways, you would be astounded by how much of that was essentially true to life. Let's put it this way, playing Far Cry 5, if anyone's familiar with that, was a distinctly uncomfortable experience for me. So I did whatever I do when I encounter something uncomfortable. I played the game like four times in a row. [34]
No matter how outlandish a belief seems, it can be completely realistic in your world. Especially if you have people committed to it. I've had family members who've been in a cult at one point. That was interesting. So I've had firsthand experience seeing a lot of this stuff in person, and I used some of that in my latest book. [25]
How come Bachel is pronounced like that when it’s only one little line away from Rachel? The English language hurts my head. Because it’s not from English, and I wanted it to sound different from every other name in the series. [T]
Puce
In Murtagh I have a dragon who's not supposed to be a very nice dragon. I gave him the worst color I could. I have a puce dragon. And mind you, I don't necessarily mind the color itself. It's just for those who don't know, the original definition of the word puce is the color of dried flea blood. So it's a puce dragon. [33]
Traumatic Sequences
What was it like cranking up the anxieties of it, the horrors of it? It feels more mature this time around. Well, good. Murtagh is a more mature character, and he's always had a harder road to walk than Eragon. So, going easy on him was never an option, but it was hard to write. It's hard to put my mind in difficult situations for days on end, weeks on end, months on end when writing and editing. It takes a toll on you emotionally. At least, that's my experience because I empathize with the characters and the world. But at the same time, it's so interesting dramatically that I can't avoid it. Actually [the reason] why I wrote the book was that last chunk of the book. That's what everything leading up to was building and hopefully supporting so that when that hits, you're there going, “Oh my god.” [6]
There is a extended period of this book uh that is very traumatic. That is the darkest I think the series ever gets. Where did you find the line? Were there any drafts where you felt like you went too far with that section or where you had to pull it back? Yes. Not a huge amount though. First of all, I throw everything in in my first drafts, kitchen sink, because you can always dial it back, whatever it is. Even if it's a funny scene, it's like I push it as far as I can and then see how it hits the audience. So in the sequence you're talking about, there was one thing in particular I did that I actually don't want to talk about, that I cut out during editing at my editor's very wise advice, and I'm really glad I did. But that was a thing. Because I was like how far can I take this, and that was too far. [11]
Hopefully this is not scaring anyone off from reading Murtagh. No, it's fantastic. And I think just because it is darker doesn't mean it's bad. I think that it's honestly a perfect natural progression from the Inheritance Cycle to this character. I think it's what the character needed. I also don't think it's depressing, ultimately. [11]
Tell me a little about how you see Murtagh’s journey in this book. He’s certainly on a much darker road than his half-brother, how was it getting to write a story that has more mature themes? I found it enormously rewarding to write about a character who is both more mature and more complicated than Eragon was for the majority of the Cycle. Especially now that I’m older myself. Dramatically, Murtagh (and Thorn!) presented all sorts of interesting opportunities, and I did my best to take advantage of them in this book. Also, since a lot of my readers have grown up with the series, even as I did, I wanted to give them a book that would satisfy them as much as it will also hopefully satisfy younger readers. [15]
As a fifteen-year-old boy I would never have been able to imagine such a flawed character as a central figure, but I now view life very differently. And you notice that my readers who have grown along with me also see these extra shades of gray. [18]
Murtagh is indeed a more mature book than Eragon. Did you write it that way on purpose? Yes, Murtagh is an older character in the story than he or Eragon were in the first books. He is also a complicated person. And my readers have grown up with me in the meantime. So I felt it was important to write a book where my oldest readers would see my progression as writing, and read about characters they could once again identify with. At the same time, new readers should not be forgotten. That's why I wrote Murtagh in such a way that you can also read it without knowing the previous four books. I wanted to write a book that revolved around the difficult history of Murtagh and Thorn, but was still a fun adventure to read. [23]
If you love this fandom, why are you making us suffer so much with this book? I mean the ending redeems you a little bit but oh my god. I'm sure it's been an emotional rollercoaster for you too. There are parts of the story that are definitely very difficult for Murtagh and Thorn and part of that may be my own predilection for writing that sort of stuff but mostly it was that Murtagh has done some very unpleasant things in the Inheritance Cycle, especially to Nasuada. And he needed to come to terms with that, he needed to grapple that, he needed to face it. And there was no easy path forward for him. If I had done easy on Murtagh I feel like readers would have decided that I was cheating, going easy, and that Murtagh didn't actually have to face the consequences of his actions. Even if he wasn't a hundred per cent responsible for them at the time. I can assure you that, and I'll say this to other fans as well, after this story Murtagh is going to have an easier time of it. This book resolves his personal journey and Thorn's on a really fundamental level, and so life's going to be a little bit easier for Murtagh moving forward. [17]
Uvek
So going to Uvek, you've introduced another Urgal. I think that for a lot of readers, the twist on the Urgals in Eldest. They are not just beastial orcs or Uruk-hai or whatever other franchise does with them, Trollocs for Wheel of Time. They are this sentient race that wants to join the fight on the side of good. I think that that shook me when I first read it. How was it bringing another lead character really from that race into the book? And one of the things I really loved about the book is the scene where they're flying to the village, and they see the village of Urgals. And they're just playing with bows. They're just having a normal day. And he has this moment internally where he's like, "oh, maybe I need to be more inquisitive?" Uvek is one of my favorite characters from the book. I like the Urgal culture. I find it interesting. I wouldn't want to live next to an Urgal village, necessarily, especially since I have kids. But dramatically, creatively, they're really interesting to write about. And trying to balance them in the sense that they're a warrior culture like, we could say, the Klingons. But the Klingons take it to such a degree that realistically, you start asking the question of, how have they survived? How do they build a space-frame civilization when it seems like they tear each other apart super quickly? So with the Urgals, I wanted to show more. And in fact, in The Fork of the Witch and the Worm, the largest of the stories in that is The Worm, which is an Urgal story. And since I was looking at ways of exploring the idea of Murtagh and Thorn's relationship with society, being an outcast, all of that. The Urgals are outcasts in the land also. The other races aren't particularly fond of them. That was a nice connection to bring in and reflect off of Murtagh, so to speak. [11]
Typos
I just got off a very fresh reread of Murtagh. I just sent in typo corrections and a couple little tweaks here and there for the reprints. [32]
You mention in Murtagh that Murtagh's Gedwëy ignasia is on his right hand, but I think the community assumed it was on his left from Eldest. We're we all wrong or is that a continuity error I found? Typo. Getting fixed in reprints. [T]
Divers
I've seen a couple of questions about this, so -- for the record, "divers" is not a typo of "diverse". (Probably got too clever for my own good, but there you go.) Archaic language in fantasy books?!?! Say it ain't so! The language is half the fun. :D [T]
Not a typo. :D Archaic word. [T]
If this hypothetical typo is “divers” … that’s actually the correct word and not a typo. If it’s something else, just send a pic and we’ll get it fixed in reprints. [T]
CHRIS WHAT IS THIS? An excellent and archaic word. [T]
*sigh* . . . “divers” is a real word. Not a typo (and it doesn’t mean those who dive in the water) [T]
I mean, "divers" isn't a typo, so . . . That said, if you do find typos in Murtagh, feel free to tweet them at me. We'll get 'em fixed in reprints. Happens with every book. [T]
Heh. Good thing “divers” is actually a word (and it doesn’t mean someone diving into water). [T]
The thing I want to talk to you about today is Twitter drama. You've been getting in tons of fights with readers lately on Twitter. You've been saying some really awful and hateful things to them just because they're pointing out typos in your book. What's the deal with this "divers" typo? Yes, on the first page of Murtagh there's a word "divers", which is an archaic word that means many or a multitude or different things. And too many people think that I'm referring to scuba divers. So it is a fight worth having. You make up fake words all the time. You're a fantasy author. I think the difference here is that you've made up a fake word which also has a real world definition, a person who dives as a sport, and you've put it on the front page of Murtagh without any context clues provided as to how we should interpret this. This is a book that's part of a world that no one has read in more than 10 years. So don't you think that maybe you should apologize to your readers who have waited all this time for a quality product only to be let down by an "archaic" word, aka a typo, on the first page? Absolutely. In fact, I had a conversation with my editor about this before heading out on book tour and we'll be reprinting the books but we're going to translate it all into Pig Latin which should make it more understandable for readers. [31]
Reading Order
I didn't read FWW,should I read it before read Murtagh? I Thought it was a spin-off book. You don't have to read it ... but I would. It acts as a direct lead-in to Murtagh Honestly I'm finding it shocking the number of people who haven't read FWW. There's a solution to that. . . . (Why does that sound mildly threatening?) [T]
Even if you haven't read the other books I think you can certainly enjoy Murtagh as much or even more. [12]
Is Murtagh Book 5 in the story about Eragon/Alagaësia? Yes [R]
Murtagh is a direct inline full-length sequel to the series, even though it has a different main character. [1]
I just finished Fractal Noise last night, and when you mentioned in the afterward about another book for a certain Eragon character, I was hoping it would be him. Yeah, I wanted to mention Murtagh on the "Also By" page in Fractal Noise, but we weren't sure if Murtagh was getting announced before Fractal Noise got released to early readers. [T]
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