26 y/o Persian-American male (out of two younger sisters) - I sometimes feel like my brain is a lvl. 45 Pokémon in my party (of other organs? IDK), and because I don't have any 'gym badges' under my belt (aka a college degree that I've shamed myself for ever since, in a familial structure founded upon my Father immigrating here from Iran at 17 due to an ongoing war, learning English, and earning his Doctorate degree at UT Austin in Mathematics by 24/25 y/o + Mother whom also immigrated here from the same area & around the same time which has been working as a laboratory scientist within a highly established Hospital in TX), I wake up each day with ~75-80% chance of it totally steering me off course with regards to productivity in any/all facets of my life; further, I find that it has oftentimes made a decision for me prior to any kind of a chance I should/would have had otherwise at deductively/rationally responding with an actual expression of what 'I' want and/or think is best, making it that much more difficult to break my current insomnia(-l?), burn out, depression, and productivity paralysis - all in which I've been experiencing this past year. For example: my mom telling me we have to go somewhere I don't want to in the morning, my replying 'consciously', usually in agreement in an attempt to avoid further arguments/conflicts, trading authenticity for emotional convenience, be it for better or for worse, only then for my 5Head brain to do what it likely does best (at least with regards to consistency) ala subconsciously 5Head'ing the situation in the background like an antivirus program would after downloading a sketchy Switch emulator onto one's hard drive, it's way of 'resolving' it's self proclaimed virus by having me stay up all night to where there's no way I can go after all, trading my misery for a more preferable, oftentimes comfortable solution as well as rebellion, especially towards those whom I feel can't look past their own selves when offering advice/ideas, which is one thing, but also forcing said solutions onto those concerned, be it due to frustration, which I can't blame them for given my like-mindedness towards my own self and scenario. Slightly more context in that I've always been told I'm super smart, 'could' be one of my best students if... (you know the rest ✌️🙂‍↕️), blah blah blah, but have genuinely been able to achieve things I seriously haven't heard of a single other person accomplishing especially with regards to my passions and career choices, tend to for whatever peculiar reason attract highly successful and oftentimes famous individuals i.e. content creators, musicians, general artists - weirdly/oftentimes VERY well known ones - into my life on both friendly and romantic levels (ironically, seeming to have had a strange ability to attract the upper eschalon of high functioning individuals from not much interesting initial interaction(s) from my perspective, in OR out of schooling, admittedly enough, always hoping I would become one myself, likely as a coping strategy/defense mechanism/compensatory coalition with respect to my lackluster grades/overall effort in highschool despite taking and consequently passing every advanced course possible in relation to my corresponding grade level i.e. AP Calculus in Senior yeaAP English/Government/History, you get the idea, and which was the case from 6th grade onwards, even getting into Health Careers HS upon making an exceptional grade on the entrance exam, along with pure luck I suppose, which, again, pretty prestigious or should have been if I cared, to which I basically had to provide my parents one of my first ultimatums of what would be many: 'I'm gonna get all zeroes if you don't let me go to designated Public HS', likely because it didn't resonate with me at the time - part of me regrets it looking back tbh - and/or I didn't feel like I deserved it/belonged there either) just off my personality alone, which is a lot more humble and sweet than the tonality of this passage provides, often times declared by sources external to that of my own, however believable or on the contrary at face-value. What's crazier is how empty I feel on the inside in spite of everything I've accomplished with regards to, well, again, all facets of my life. Ex: Getting fired at my Banking job last year after the initiation of the divorce for inconsistent attendance, which is fair enough, then getting a new job later at the start of July only to get promoted off my performance by the end of the month, which, for better or for worse, has generally been my same song and dance with regards to my numerous occupations likely due to my need for validation/even 'consolidation' for not having it in me to pursue a Bachelor's degree, only to then go on leave for, frankly, no longer 'having it in me' despite my undying (and disgusting) desire to still push and/or power through in an effort, forevermore, to - not even emotionally amymore but physiologically, at this point - cope with this seemingly snowballing shit-storm of a situation that is and has been 'life' as I know it to be (admittedly/notably, taking the break DID feel good as I haven't really prioritized my own wellbeing like that before) but however eventual/inevitable, got fired for repeatedly giving a date for my return each time my manager reached out to check in on my well-being, only for my first ever and repeated semblance of a panic attack arising in spite of wanting to will myself, tooth and nail, out the house each of those individual instances, ultimately preventing me from following through with my now broken promises to aforementioned ex-manager - all part of this fuck-headed prophecy. :) In an effort to wrap this very real, very frustrating fool's fairytale up, it's important to note I've been jobless ever since that day, locked in my room, still more productive in many important aspects barring perhaps socially, but I'm in huge debt, especially since I had to fire my divorce attorney last year around August for having a 30% response/hit rate for anything that wasn't the bill - I wish I was wrong - though, I was hired at a coffee shop back in February as my mom thought (and still thinks/pushes this notion) that my problem is 'I need to get out there and into the world', welp, I listened albeit after weeks of conflict/disagreements/yelling (which actions in of themselves make me feel terrible since I once took great pride in being the family peacekeeper (and from a reasonably young age too, unfortunately enough) like any good son whom in which values their own mother's reasonable enough hypothesis would, except for, well, that job too, eventually and inevitably (in my mind) 'I' ending up quitting due to - long story short - unruly junior managers and their annoyingly asinine egos'.
Wrapping up, between going through a divorce with my wife, having been forced to live back with my forever faulty family, namely, with regards to my stubborn mother and father (however much I love them to pieces, to which I feel I express well enough, consistently enough, though at the same time think is fair holding back a bit affectionately given the frequency and intensity of my current circumstances, frankly). Thankfully, I have been able to maintain my well above average athleticism/physique (my words, sure, though genuinely intended with as little ego as possible, in fact more often than not mentioned by someone other than myself, and consistently so at that ever since the 10th grade when I initially started lifting/getting into Nutrition) through daily weighted pushups of 55 lbs in a sturdy backpack, along with my self taught singing voice (worded that way to emphasize I had to basically fight my mom and dad on investing time/energy into that back during HS as well, only to, like my fitness discipline, attaining a very high level on my own and in spite of the needless and unnecessary friction provided by family), along with, and perhaps most importantly, keeping up with my mental and spiritual literacies through many renowned online University lectures, free programs, videos by Dr. K-ing himself, etc. - all to say I'm at a point, currently, where this once 'Superman' persona that I suppose never existed in the capacity seems way closer to that of a depressed, worn down Clark Kent than ever before...
Sigh
(P.S. To my 🧠: Thank you, sincerely, for giving me the courage/chutzpah to finally deliberately declassify, denote, and deliver this deconstruction of my mind, however flawed, over the internet. Further, it's imperative that I mention my confirmed diagnoses of ADHD/Borderline/Childhood & Family Trauma, along with a pending/potential Bipolar disorder as the metaphorically 'maniacal' cherry on top. I'm seeing a psychologist ATM and am prescribed Adderall which helps me tremendously, both with regards to mood and my ADHD symptoms. I've been taking medication for over 2 years now. Random but relevant side note: my insomnia started after the initiation of the divorce and again, I've basically slept once every other night throughout this whole duration)
(P.P.S. Forgive me for any inconsistencies/poor grammaseemingly unfinished statements and/or scenarios. I've had a couple hours of sleep the past 30ish hours, which has, give or take, been the case since June of last year.
(P.P.P.S. I only intended on sharing the first few sentences of this post when 'I' made the decision to make the post - I wonder what my brain is up to this time.)
(P.P.P.P.S. That's not even the full story LuL. Though I must mention I appreciate anyone bored/mad/strong-willed enough to muster their way from start to finish of my madness. I love this community with all of my heart, truly, and I'm sorry for coming across as brash or unapologetic at particular points, just not really feeling it ATM. Love and peace, always
Kindest regards,
Anotha One

First/Previous
Gemma was right about the sky’s open night, and I could sympathize with her recollection of the beauty, but for me it must’ve been a greater tragedy—the young woman had only ever enjoyed the stars in the pits of Golgotha; I could, long before, drink in the sky at leisure. Cruel memories.
The night the Rednecks died was one of viscera, but before that it was coolness on the breeze, a warmth by the fires while John played his guitar and we had only just taken two dozen kegs of lager (personal reserves) from the Atlanta despot—the man that kept his subjects as slaves and not a person among the camp was left without budding intoxication. No matter the age, everyone was invited to be merry; if it was that children too faced the plight of a bad world, then so too should they reap the moments of plenty—or so the camp figured.
John had taken a group by the fires where wagons were drawn in interlocking semicircles for cover and Jackson sat beside the picker. Jackson was a man which normally preferred quiet reflection over boisterous singing and nearly never wore the band on his throat, and yet there he was belting out the chorus at the top of his lungs, tankard in hand, red cloth blazed around his neck—it was a contagion and those drunk enough for easier embarrassment sang proudly along:
“There is power, there is power in a band of working folk!
When we stand hand in hand,
That’s a power, that’s the power,
That must rule in every land!”
I’d taken to the outlying shadows with my back pressed against the gas-powered caleche, my own tankard in hand. I loved the warmth of that great big family, truly, but even in those days—and maybe it was that queer youthfulness which longed for individualism that made me that way then—I remained as distanced as possible when I could. I sipped the lager, it was a fine drink and my brother Billy, nearly as old as I was when I’d first taken up in the infantry, swaggered to stand beside me just as quiet for minutes and we looked at the stars and he asked me what it was like to kill a man.
“Is it hard?” he asked.
I nodded, “Sometimes.”
“Killing monsters ain’t so bad. Don’t know if I could do it to a person.”
“You could if they meant to kill you; or if they meant to do it to someone you cared about,” I promised him. In those days, spry, energized, I held no time for staring into abysses; though I still wasn’t a man fully, I pretended as one. It was about family, and it was about doing what was right—what’s right seemed to change, or I changed. The world felt stark with good and evil and even later I’d feel that sentiment well up in me, but if that’s true, I know I stand more on the latter and so I intentionally obfuscated it—this I know. If not, it might be too much to bear. I was required to lie to myself and even in knowing I lied, it was better.
Billy tugged on the red kerchief around his throat and asked me how it looked on him.
“Looks good,” I said.
“Don’t think I look stupid at all?”
I smiled over my drink, “You always look stupid.” I sipped. “The neckwear’s fine.”
“Give me a break,” said Billy; he investigated his own cup, gave it a swish with his wrist, watching its contents swirl. “Aren’t you ever afraid you’ll die?”
“Sometimes—nights like this—I wouldn’t mind it.”
“Really?” my brother asked.
“There’s always a chance of it. Every moment, I guess.”
He smiled. “I wish I had that confidence.”
“You’ll get it,” I returned his smile; it was true that he would gain the fighting spirit. It came to us all with time and reminiscing on the early days, I recall the grit and the hatred—there was learning there too though. Besides, I’d seen the squalors of a stationary man. The stagnation of a place, an unmoving home.
John put his guitar away and laughter erupted from the crowd from something said and Sibylle, cowboy hat cocked funny, traipsed across the camp to the open keg for a refill; the man there, tending the cylinders, was a man named Tandy (a foreigner and one unknown besides the way he smoked a skunk pipe and told wild stories). My mother leaned over while Tandy opened the spigot mouth on the keg, and she froze there, and I could see her there cut out forever against the light of the fires; I watched, and it came so suddenly that I couldn’t be sure what’d happened at all. It was so sudden that I couldn’t find my weapon and I couldn’t find even the courage to fight because in those moments it wasn’t courage I needed, it was grounds to understand.
Sibylle came apart in two pieces immediately, torn completely through and dust erupted as her legs struck the ground while her torso spun through the air like a top, a trail of liquid trailed after, caught in the blue of night so it shone as black; she couldn’t scream. Tandy was a statue. Before anyone could react, more flesh, other bodies, went up and there was all manner of limbs which filled the ground, and it is astounding how quickly a red mist forms across the ground during a massacre. Perhaps the wails of my comrades started before, perhaps others fell before Sibylle, but I could not comprehend the goings-on till I saw her drop the way she did.
Frail human screams rose on the night; I slammed to the ground, tankard gone away and hands scrambling in the dirt; I reached up blindly and yanked Billy to my level and his expression was one of innocence, panic, tears even. Glancing around, I saw the demons bolt from the pitch-black darkness on the edges of camp, mutants taking the fore while greater creatures lurked further back, some hurled whips of gliding metal which writhed over their heads when they stretched them out for a strike—alien—and they sliced directly through soft human bodies. Not even a cry escaped me, but Billy let go with it and I slapped my cupped hand over his mouth hard to hold the screams. His voice would not have been alone anyway, not alongside that startling cacophony. Amidst the cries of people, there were the cries of horses, of our hounds.
We rolled across the ground, slipped beneath the raised body of the gas-powered caleche, remained quiet in the dark, peeked out between the wheels.
“What’s happening?” Billy whispered through my fingers; I removed my hand from him and caught a glimpse of him framed in a square of firelight through the wheels—we lay there on our bellies and the left side of his face was glazed with dirt where I’d pulled him down.
“Shh,” I told him, “Shh, please. Please.” Not another word came while I pleaded with him, pleaded with the world to make this all a nightmare.
Through the haze and the running silhouettes painted black, I saw what might have been Jackson; he stumbled and in the moment that it took me to gasp, his head was gone from his body, his torso slid on as he collapsed, came to rest mere feet from the motor wagon. I told myself that it wasn’t him, but it probably was.
Some mutants lumbered through the camp like animated corpses, some leapt with wild energy or sprayed noxious fumes which lingered in the air; others still were amalgams of humanlike limbs themselves—fiends—exhausting terrible sounds, producing smells of sulfur, glistening with whatever liquids excreted from their oblong alien orifices. Demons ran amok, chanted in devil tongued languages, laughed madly at the destruction—others still, those which displayed some greater intelligence, broke into a song I could never hope or want to replicate; it seemed a unified damnation.
“Please,” I repeated in a whimper and Billy hushed me this time and I realized we were holding hands, squeezing for dear life as figures walked the camp, speared those half-alive, elected others for twisted carnality.
In darkness, in fright plainly, we scuttled from the recess of our hiding place, kept quiet, held to each other, and went into the wasteland where nothing was—every shadow was a potential threat, every second could’ve been the last. We were holding hands; then we weren’t.
Only a glance—that’s all I afforded my brother and nothing more—what a joke of a person I am! What a coward I was. Always.
Something got him in the dark and instead of dying alongside those I cared about, I went on, heartbeat driving me till it was all that I heard in my ears and my muscles ached and my chest heaved and sweat covered me, chilled me in the breeze of the night—it was only once I’d accepted the dark completely, crawled into a hollowed space of rocks along a squat ridge that I watched the demolished camp; it seemed no larger than a spark, but the creatures, fiends and others continued their war cries; never before had I witnessed demons participate in such an attack.
I watched till the sun came, till the fires became smoke, then I watched the band of hell creatures disband. The smell of sulfur remained in the air—copper too—and I stumbled back to the camp in a dreamlike daze, totally unbelieving of the things I saw. Among those dead on the ground, I could recognize none; among those piked from rear to shoulder, standing like morbid scarecrows where they’d been steadied against the ground, I could not want to recognize.
Many of the wagons were overturned, including the gas-powered caleche and I went to it; the metal of its body was warped but I fell to the ground by it and pushed my back against the exposed undercarriage, remained frozen there while examining the bodies, the terrible strips of skin which rested places like wet sheets of paper, the piles of bones removed and smashed and piled.
I cried so deeply that oxygen became a memory, and the shakes couldn’t be contained.
It was like that for so long, knees pulled up, face pushed between, and the wails came unafraid of whatever attention they might garner; there was no rationale, but I imagine if there had been, I would’ve welcomed death in that misery. It was a deep wound that not even my own cowardice would overcome for the sake of survival.
Unaware of my surroundings, not wanting to look up from the ground between my legs, the noise which had started out as imaginary became real and I raised my head then to listen better and wipe my sore eyes; it was the sound of clip-clop horse hooves and I mildly wondered if any of the animals had been spared. I stood and pivoted around the dead camp and there it was, a man on a painted horse with golden hair; he leisurely drove the mount through the place, maneuvering around pools of blood, clumps of body parts and upon seeing me, he smiled and offered a languid wave, keeping one of his gloved hands on the reins.
The man wore white and swished his hair back upon arriving directly in front of me. Ahoy, he offered kindly, Did you happen to see the other riders?
I shook my head, feeling numb.
Ah, he said, I could have sworn four other riders, at least, passed me on my way. His gray eyes examined the carnage. Shame. He shook his head. You are?
“H-harlan.”
He nodded and nearly offered an expression of genuine condolence before descending from the horse; the animal gave a gentle grunt and wandered away from its master to inspect a nearby group of the dead. The man offered his hand, and I took it in a shake. Mephisto, said the man. He flashed a smile again before his face grew serious. I’ve come to you to deal.
I shot him a questioning look, one of bafflement.
I heard your calls from far off. He nodded, removed a white handkerchief from his breast pocket and swiped it down his face. Hot out. He shrugged then replaced the cloth in his pocket. This, he motioned to the disarray of vehicles, of bodies, I can’t fix all this—it’s too much—but there’s a person you love, I know. I could bring them back.
“Doctor?” In retrospect it was such a naïve question.
He shook his head.
“Angel?”
He grinned and nodded, Sure.
“Demon?”
Undoubtedly. His eyes—pits of gray in that radiant face—nearly expressed solemness; he daintily shook the hair from his face and looked at his steed which sniffed a corpse. What’s the word, Harlan? There are others calling and I must be on my way soon—I can’t dally. There was a sharpness to the words. Can’t dally. We must convene soon, or I’ll mosey on.
I snorted back the clog in my nose from the tears and wiped my eyes with my sleeves. “Okay.”
Deal?
I nodded, “Deal.”
Sleep tonight, said Mephisto, Sleep and you’ll be rewarded in the morning.
“You said it’s a deal.”
He nodded and scanned the carnage before we matched gazes and then he said, Yes?
“What is it you want from me?”
Nothing you need now. He called the horse, and it came, and he swept his feet quickly from the ground and settled into position atop the animal. Sleep, Harlan. You won’t be bothered. There are worse things still over the horizon.
I watched him go till he disappeared and once he was gone, I couldn’t cry anymore and instead rummaged through the wagons for what I might carry; along the way I found John, face twisted but corpse intact. The body from the previous night that I’d guessed was Jackson couldn’t be determined but I found him nowhere else. I slid Sibylle’s holster from her hips, fell hard onto the ground and found that I could sob more. I took her cowboy hat, placed it on my head and held her pistol in one hand and the belt holster dangled from the other while I searched the other bodies; there were so many, but I could not find Billy.
Waiting for darkness, I took the spot where I rested, back against the caleche’s undercarriage, watched the sky and felt the gun in my hand; it was heavy. I put it to my head, closed my eyes, and whispered affirmations to myself then I put the pistol between my splayed legs, watched it still in the dirt, and pulled the hat down over my eyes but it did little for the smell. Though the brim of the hat cut the sky out, I watched the ground and saw circling shadows form overhead and heard calls of turkey vultures; they came to pick over the bodies. I withdrew my knees to my chest there again and laid my forearm across them and bit into my arm while closing my eyes. I had thought I was a man and for a time, maybe I was, but there in that miserable pit of despair I became a child again and if I’d become more delirious, I’m sure I might’ve called out for Jackson like it was a bad dream.
Into a fading stupor of sleep in the sun I went and when I awoke again it was dark and chilly and I was tired and hungry but too sick to eat and hardly strong enough to move; I looked at the gun and put it into its holster and left it there by the caleche. In the light of the moon and stars, I moved to gather a bolt of canvas; I unfurled the fabric and created a leaning shelter against the overturned vehicle and crawled into it. There was a hole in the canvas, and I peeked out at the stars.
Weeping came again, but not so uproarious; I was stuck there letting go of whimpers, lying on my back, feeling the tears trace in lines from the outer corners of my eyes to collect along my earlobes. In time, I fell to sleep again on the hard ground because the mourning had taken all else from me.
A pinpoint of sunlight broke my eyelids and I jerked awake and reached for the holster, but it was gone. So was the hat. I crawled from the leaning shelter and there he was.
Billy stood plainly among the dried, congealed blood-soaked field and he looked on to the horizon and all shadows were long in the midday sun which hung up there in a soft blue sky. Whether it be a dream or a spell, I couldn’t care—I charged to him and spun him so he faced me and though his face was plain and expressionless, I wrapped him into a forceful hug. He placed his hands on my back and gave a gentle squeeze; when I pulled from him, my hands on his shoulders, I saw he held Sibylle’s hat in his left hand, pinched by the brim; he’d already tugged her holster belt around his hips—he could have it all. I shook while holding him then let go to wipe my face.
“You’re alive,” I nodded.
He nodded without speaking then looked at the hat in his hand and placed it on his head and firmly pressed it down.
“Billy! Hell, you’re alive!”
The corners of his mouth twitched upward for a moment then he nodded again. “Yeah.” His eyes curiously searched our surroundings like he meant to take each detail in forever.
I slapped him on the shoulder and almost squealed. “Goddammit.” I wiped my eyes again and could do little to keep the excitement from exploding from me. “Oh, we should go. We should go on and get somewhere safe.”
He nodded toward the horizon, “’Lanta?”
“Sure.”
We packed and it was a like an ethereal phantom remained among us beside the quiet dead; turkey vultures cawed to break the silence, pecked where they pleased on the bodies, and I couldn’t want to fight them. I kept sidelong eyes on Billy with the ever-present worry that he’d vanish. Perhaps he was the phantom.
From the rear of the caleche, I removed a few sentimental books Jackson liked, essential cookware, and sparse rations for the trek. The last thing I grabbed was my shotgun and a bit of ammo.
As we set from the dead place, the terrible silhouettes that were cut from there on the horizon behind us grew in my mind with every backward glance—I wanted to fall to pieces, but I saw Billy walk alongside me and although contented is not the right word, it is the nearest. The steps of our boots were all that was heard because I could not fathom to pierce the space between us with words for fear that it would all end. It was a dream, surely. I’d lost my mind. With my hands thumbed into the straps of my pack, I saw I my hands still shook, and they would shake a lot longer—years and with memories too. The crunch of earth underfoot became a rhythm and instead of looking at my brother, I watched his shadow on the ground.
“Everyone’s dead?” He asked.
“Yeah.”
“You’re sure?”
“Yeah,” I repeated.
“How ain’t I? How ain’t you?”
To say that it was luck would’ve been too morbid. Instead of saying anything, I shrugged, kicked a loose stone, watched my feet some more, and felt a queasiness come over me. For the moment, the immeasurable deaths of those I’d left behind were forgotten in the company of my brother and a sickness welled up inside of me so suddenly that I felt that I’d fall to pieces at the slightest provocation. Finally, I did speak again, but only after steeling myself to the troubles, “Yeah, how are you alive?”
Billy shrugged at me then stumbled up a hill which overlooked trash wood wilderness where sticks lay twisted and bare and further on the sight of Atlanta was visible and I cupped a hand across my brow and Billy did the same and we looked on at the shadows of the place out there where strings of smoke rose from the skyline as a signature for the desolation of the city; it was dead. I felt it in my bones.
My hands were light while my head was heavy, my throat was dry, and the entire world seized in moments of stillness or perhaps it was my own vision which construed the world in that way; I took to the small hill which Billy had climbed and sat there and stared at the place between my feet to steady myself.
“Fire,” said Billy.
I nodded and nearly choked.
Leviathan—till then I had no belief in dragons—glided over the broken city, its winged shadow little seen but its voice was deep across the scene, letting go of roars which shook the ground. We hid among the trash wood and moved down the hill and watched the creature thrash in the air as if it was angry for its abominable life. Whatever millennia it spent in the pits of hell seemingly thrust upon it a love of destruction and pain.
My brother moved with a more assured stride and kept a cool distance and upon fleeing from the wreckage, from the outlying area of Atlanta and the place we’d left our family, he spoke little and watched me strangely whenever I took to melancholic fatiguing. We lit no fires for fear of what it could draw from the night so in the dark I’d see him watching some far-off place, maybe seeing through the reality which surrounded us, and he’d snap from it, catch my eye, and disappear for minutes to scan the perimeter of whatever place we stayed. Being alongside my resurrected brother was lonelier than I could bear, and I hoped he’d disappear for good or that I could work up the courage to end my own life. It was like purgatory explained in books and for a time, it felt endless; upon witnessing the destruction of Atlanta, we pushed to Marrietta, and it was much the same. As was Chatanooga, Nashville, Knoxville, Louisville, Charlotte. The ocean had risen so that Fayetville was gone underwater, and the Florida leg disappeared completely as far as I’m aware. I understood later that Memphis was overlooked and more places further west were alive too, but when we’d exhausted the south, we moved north and found strongholds of families or traders or even small groupings of civilization, but by and large we found nothing much in the two years that we hoofed it from place to place; it was my doing mostly—I wanted to find a place untouched by the mayhem in the area my family had once patrolled.
In retrospect, I am certain that Billy only stayed by my side for convenience; there wasn’t any of my brother left in the man that was my travelling companion for that time. He was a ghost of a person and Mephisto had preyed upon my desire in the worst moment of weakness in my life. There were nights—maybe we’d taken up in a natural alcove for shelter or we’d locked ourselves in some ancient structure for sleep—I’d watch Billy lay where he was, Sibylle’s hat and holster lying beside him, and I’d think of putting him down but he’d stir and in a brief shadow I’d see my brother as he’d been and withdraw to bury my face in fake sleep to be met with images of the night the demons attacked where I’d shake, sweat, and bite my lips so hard I’d drink blood.
Two years we marched around the Appalachians and in that time, I felt myself wither and disconnect.
Upon moving further north we met Indianapolis—that’s what it was called back then—and it was run by an older woman called Lady Lazarus; I reckon her father, affluent and dead, was a fan of Plath. Indianapolis was fortified more than most with its high walls, and its wall men, and its underground facilities which produced substantial ammunition. We—me and Billy’s revenant—were travelling with a group of traders we’d taken up with from out west; they called themselves wizards and although they seemed of the occult, their spirits discounted whatever suspicions I might’ve had of them.
I remember first pushing through that big gate; the town kept with it an indisputable malaise and though we were greeted at the gate by the leader Lady Lazarus—her brothers came along with her—and her jovial demeanor carried a certain infectious quality, I could not help but notice that the regular denizens maintained a healthy distance from their leader (the guards which followed the Lady everywhere probably had something to do with this).
Lady Lazarus touched each of our hands in greeting with enthusiasm and I could not help but notice how soft they were, how vibrant her eyes were, how much she smiled, and how beautiful she was given her age; already her head was fully gray.
Upon meeting each of us, going through the wizard traders first, she came to me, and Billy and she shook my hand then pivoted to Billy.
“Welcome. You can call me Lady.”
Billy caught her hand in his, held it longer than she’d intended so that they held eye contact, and he smiled broadly, tipped the cowboy hat on his head back to expose his smooth forehead and said, “And you can call me Maron, mam. You are quite a sight for a tired man.”
Though Maron—as he’d named himself—was more boy than man, Lady took a disturbed liking to him immediately and we prolonged our stay in Indianapolis after the wizards departed to head west.
Under the rule of Lady, Indianapolis was a theocracy, with her addressing the huddled masses at the steps of her grand abode, she’d preach for hours on sin and strife and quote her favorite passages; though reminiscent of my time with the Rednecks, I never found any truth or sincerity or freedom in her teaching—hers was more trouble, brimstone, fire and I’d had enough of that for a lifetime. Public execution was common. As was torture.
Maron distanced himself further from me, but I remained to keep an eye on him—it was not sentimentality but rather I existed without purpose and conjured some from watching my brother.
Often, Lady invited Maron to her private rooms and though the rumors and speculation ran the full spectrum of perverse speculation, every denizen feigned ignorance at her pregnancy.
Upon giving birth, the infant was malformed with two heads—her brothers took this as an omen and killed the child, put their leader in the stocks for months, and stripped her of dignity while the denizens did to her what they pleased.
Maron rose through the wall men while Lady’s brothers assumed control of Indianapolis and called themselves Bosses; in the time since Lady’s reign, the place was renamed to Golgotha for its closeness to a messiah.
I went west but always found myself drawn back to Golgotha because of some emptiness in me. It was only with Suzanne that I wanted something more and knowing them, I almost believed in a world like the one that children dream about. The world that Gemma and Andrew chased after when they left home, like the one Aggie talked about in her mother’s books. There’s a hopelessness in me that I’ll never be rid of. In the interim between our initial arrival to Golgotha and that flight from that terrible city, I cannot know how many people I sacrificed in convening with demons because I refuse to know because the number would destroy me. That is the worst of it; I do not even have courage enough to face myself or the actions of my past in any substantive way.
Mephisto tainted me so that I could speak with his kind as a dealmaker and the disease grew.
Billy or Maron or whatever he is should have been reaped long ago or better, I should never have brought that abomination alive. Such a cruel world where a deep longing like that can be inverted, weaponized. Me and him should both die; me and him should have died a long time ago.
First/Previous
Archive

Tac reload animation for AK is exist in the official EFT video. Compare to other games, it can be implement for good ways. Like execute it by specific gear, and mags. It's not in the game, but it might be the magazine and mag pouch reference action. If battle belt added to the game, mags in the belt reload faster is also realistic. Tac reload is not just tacticool animation from MW19, it used by real gunfighters. When they have to, they execute speed reload...I mean Emergency weapon reload in this game. When they want to, they do Tactical reload.
The normal reload in this game is Reload with retention, used mag stow first, then grab the fresh mag.
Tac reload I mentioned here are grab the fresh mag first, swap with used mag, and stow the used mag.
(Correct me if I'm wrong, because both are called tactical reload...)
Almost every single video from yuutube, they doing the tac reload. It makes sense, because inserting the fresh mag is actually faster(if you trained well). Tac reload might be faster than normal reload but not faster than emergency reload. Grab the fresh magazine first, swap the mags, then stow the used mag. You don't have to worry about dropping the mag, because you grab the new mag first, so there is a space for used mag. Before you stow the mag, guns loaded with fresh mag, so it's already can fire continuous.
Ground Branch already has this mechanics I guess. There normal reload is already Tac reload. But in this game, we still can't shoot while using keys, so i don't know BSG can implement it when tac reload comes. I don't want to see tac reload with huge drum mags...It's almost impossible.( or doing tac reloads with drum mag cause slow the action will be good)
It definitely need it, because player characters are ex military PMCs. Doing the current normal reload a bit off to me. Normal SCAVs and Player SCAVs can be stay current reload, but after scav level implemented, I don't know.
It can be replace some guns and some magazines normal reload...AR-15's 30 round P-mag, or Glock's 17 round mags...Or add tac reload for new keys(it will be complex, I know). Or, mouse scrolling reload is tac reload...is also good.
And more new reload mechanics, like shotguns, SKS and Mosins. Speed loader or quad reload mechanics for shotguns, Stripper clips for SKS and Mosins. Also speed loaders for magazines for loading ammo faster. Shotguns reload mechanics might be add for skill progress, and specific gear needed? We already seen stripper clips in some video, so it might be come to the game...soon? And adding Dump pouch for normal reload. Not just for the prevent dropping mag problem(well it actually is).
I want this game more realistic, fun, and more gun porn. More weapon animation is make this game more attractive I guess. Don't get me wrong, I know BUG FIXES ARE THE MOST IMPORTANT THING RIGHT NOW. It's not needed right now thing, what I'm saying is it can be added later.
I suggesting for the future, or soon.

Firstly, I do train at a bjj gym however the gym only has 2 nogi classes in the evening and only covers leg locks or certain technique based on the gyms rotation of whats being covered that week. While I do learn what is being shown, I also wanna do some at home studies through instructional or materials and train/ ask the higher belts while rolling or open mat, however given theres so many instructionals and they aren’t exactly cheap, I’d thought maybe this community could narrow down.
I wouldn’t mind splurging but just need help narrowing down which ones actually worth getting since guys like Lachlan, Craig, John and other new nogi guys have tons of videos covering it.

Can someone explain the logic behind locking a gender and look of a character to their actual abilities? If I want to use Falk for the ammo and self-heal abilities, I have to look like a woman AND have to hear their female voice during combat. The solution apparently is to get a skin for Falk that covers them up so you can't tell the character is female but then you still HEAR the character. Then you might say a solution for the voice lines is to turn off voice lines completely but why... Why would you want to do this and how is this a solution? I want to hear voice lines, I just don't want to hear them from a woman. It's one thing to have operators in the game but then also forcing a gender on people with having no choice is just unreal. I'm a man, I don't want to hear my character in a game as a woman. Is this really too much to ask for?
Yes, I don't want to see or hear my character as a woman squealing every time they shout their voice commands. It's annoying, restrictive, and anti-consumer. The backward logic for justifying this is beyond ridiculous. You people are fine with being a forced a gender on you on a video game. A video game is supposed to have SOME level of choice. Hearing and seeing a woman as your character when you're a man ruins the immersion. This game is targeted towards a male audience who enjoys war, why then is it too much to ask to play as an actual man? As opposed to actually putting in dev time to make a female AND male version of the operatospecialist, they have to force you to play as a female for one of the best classes in the game. It's just annoying and serves no purpose other than to aggravate the player. Period.

I've got quite a few banger knives up for sale. Will only ship CONUS. Payments accepted Zelle, Venmo, Paypal FF(No Notes). Yolo is king. Fairly priced, but feel free to shoot your shot. Not really looking for trades at this time.
Timestamp
Chris Reeves Knives Large Sebenza 31 Insingo - Magnacut Box Elder - D.O.B. April 12, 2023. Pretty sweet knife. First owner, has been carried a couple times in slip, but has not cut. No snails. Has not been disassembled. Glass blasted and extremely difficult to find. Comes with box and everything else, COA, Sticker, cloth, slip. SV - $725
Chaves 229 KickStop - M390 - At least second owner, factory edge. Has been carried, cut, and disassembled to lube up. Comes with box and extra clip. SV - $260
Chaves RCK9 - M390 - Atleast second owner, factory edge. has been carried, cut, and disassembled. Comes with box and extra clip. SV - $230
Hinderer XM18 3" No Choil Slicer- M390 - Second owner, triway, with copper hardware and Monkey Frag CF scale. Battle Black lock side and Filler tab by sharp dressed knives. Comes with original hardware and Orange G10 scale. All the original documents in box with sticker. Lockside pivot is a little marred. Has been carried, cut, sharpened, and disassembled. Comes with Skiff bearings installed. Flicks easy with thumbstuds or flipper. SV - $425
Hinderer XM18 3.5" Bowie - S45N - Second owner, triway, with SW bronze finish side. Comes with lots of hardware - battle bronze and SW Bronze. Blue G10 scale. Has been carried and cut with, but has factory edge. Perfectly centered. Comes with original box, stickers and paperwork. SV - $450
Kunwu Padre Reverse Tux - Vanax - Brand new, First owner. Has been carried. Has cut a few pieces of paper, and has been disassebled to install skiff bearings. comes with all original bearings and box. Has a slight nick on the lock bar. Price reflected. SV - $290
Microtech MSI - M390MK - At least Second owner. Original owner had it modified pretty heavily by Way of the Knife. They did a great job on it. It was setup as a lefty carry and the clip has marked up the polymer scales a bit. Knife has been carried, sharpened, and disassembled. Mods done: Synthetic Rit Specialty Fade (Dark > Tan > Dark) Chocolate Brown dye job on G10 scales, Aggressive Acidwashed blade finish, Bead Blasted and Heat Anodized Hardware (Screws, spacer, clip and liners) and final Blizzard Wash. DOB 04/2023 and Serial #1043. Comes with original box. SV - $230
QC Drift KNSWSA - Vanax - Second Owner, has been carried and used to cut. Has been disassembled to clean and lub. Smooth action, has a few small scratches that I tried to highlight in the video. Comes with original box. SV - $225
Spyderco PM3 - S45VN - This is basically a parts knife. Original owner filed down the detent for some reason. Didn't realize it when I bought it. Blade is in good shape and has only been sharpened once. The knife was originally a seconds, but don't see any issues with the blade. Knife is useable but not able to spidy flick unfortunately. No box SV - $50
Winterblade Factor B3 - Magnacut - Badass knife, second owner. Has been carried and used to cut a few boxes. Has not been disassembled. Has the sweeet factor ping when deployed. Comes with all the original paperwork and box. Easily the most fidgety knife I've had. SV - $450

Welcome to another TSB Thursday, where I dive deeper in to TSBs I'm running into regularly. As always, I write this from my own perspective as a Subaru technician in the US; other regions/zones may work differently. Refer to the "How To Read a TSB" post for more information on formatting and general information about TSBs. In celebration of warm weather finally coming to my area, I'm continuing some A/C system bulletins. Last post was all about Condensers. Today's post is all about A/C compressors, and there is a lot to talk about, so let's dive in.

TSB Thursday #13:

• 10-100-21R - "A/C Compressor- Manufacturing Procedure Change"
  • 2019-2021 Forester
• 10-98-20R - "New Air Conditioning (A/C) Compressor Availability"
  • 2018 Forester
  • 2018-19 WRX
• 15-237-19R - "Chattering Sound from A/C Compressor"
  • 2017-18 Forester
• 15-244-19 - "A/C Compressor Clutch- Service Parts Availability"
  • 2013-19 BRZ
• 15-210-17 - "Cruise Control Light Flashing, Possible Cancel Code 61"
  • 2017 Impreza Models with Manual A/C ONLY
• 15-209-17 - "Abnormal Sound from Air Conditioning (A/C) Compressor"
  • 2015-16 WRX and WRX STI
  • 2014-16 Forester
  • 2012-16 Impreza
  • 2013-16 Crosstrek
• 10-84-16R - "New A/C Compressor / Clutch Assembly"
  • 2015-16 WRX and STI
  • 2014-16 Forester
  • 2014-16 Impreza and XV Crosstrek

What's the failure?

Your A/C system (as well as any refrigeration system, just like the fridge in your kitchen) is comprised of 4 main components, along with hoses or pipes that connect them. The heart of the system is the Compressor. It works by squeezing the refrigerant really hard, such that the refrigerant gets pressurized and very hot. The refrigerant then moves to the Condenser, which looks a lot like a radiator. Air passes through the fins of the Condenser, where that heat and energy can dissipate into the surrounding air. Refrigerant will then flow to an Expansion Valve (or in some cases an "orifice tube"), which is just a component with a very small hole for refrigerant to flow through. This is both what provides the resistance so the Compressor can, well, compress, but also creates a low pressure zone after the refrigerant has passed through it. When this happens, the refrigerant will next flow into the Evaporator Core, which in the case of a car is inside the ducting behind/under the dashboard. The low pressure refrigerant is now free to "pull" heat and energy out of the air flowing through the ducts, and thus both removes humidity and also cools the air flowing past it. The refrigerant then returns back to the Compressor to start the cycle all over again. In essence, the whole of the system works by pumping energy out of the interior HVAC ducting and pushing it to the ambient air in the engine bay. Naturally, there are a few other important bits that the car needs to know about to use this system effectively. One key component is a pressure sensor, so that whichever module is controlling the compressor makes sure it's operating in a safe range. Another is a filtration element, sometimes called a ReceiveDrier. Lastly, within the Evaporator Core will be a temperature probe, so that if the core starts getting so cold that ice forms, the system can turn off.
Ok so what do all of these bulletins mean? They're all different part updates for the compressor part of the A/C system. In all of the above cases, if your car is in need of service to the A/C system, there is a good chance the compressor will also need to be replaced with an updated unit. You may notice that 15-209-17 and 10-84-16R overlap; this is an instance of an update on an update.
This is a video (at 4:46) with an example of a buzzing sound that can indicate a failed A/C compressor in a number of these TSBs, including 10-98-20R, 15-209-17, and 10-84-16R. It can also indicate a very low state of refrigerant charge; hearing this buzz does not automatically mean you need a new compressor, but the likelihood is high.
I also want to touch quickly here on the difference between fixed displacement and variable displacement compressors. With a fixed compressor, the A/C system can only ever be "ON" or "OFF." This is done with an electromagnetic clutch assembly on the front of the compressor, inside of the pulley that the serpentine belt rides around. When the ECM or HVAC CM commands the clutch to the ON position, the serpentine belt pulley and the clutch lock together, and now the engine RPM will match the compressor internal RPM. Inside the compressor are a series of small pistons, which will now move up and down, creating suction on an intake stroke and compression on its output stroke. The advantage here is that it's cheap. But there are a number of disadvantages; the first being the flow of refrigerant is now tied to your engine RPM, the second that the the A/C can only ever be off or full force. This is where the variable compressor comes in; Subaru's variable compressors do not use a clutch at all, but rather uses a solenoid connected to a swash plate inside of the compressor, which changes the stroke length of the internal pistons. This way, the control module can pick a percentage of refrigerant flow on the fly; it can go as low as 0% (or no piston travel) when in the OFF position, or smoothly slide all the way up to 100% where the pistons move as far as possible. The advantages here are numerous; the compressor can maintain even refrigerant flow independent of engine RPM, there is no sharp engagement sensation that a clutch would have when kicking on, and when at cruise the compressor can run at a lower ratio to improve fuel efficiency. This video (at 0:51 through 3:42) has the best animation I could find of what's happening inside a variable displacement compressor.

15-210-17:

This is actually one of the more interesting TSBs out there, because it's super bizarre. Essentially, the clutch on the front of the compressor will back-feed voltage, which finds its way into the brake light switch's secondary circuit, which is used as the signal to turn off cruise control. For reference, only Imprezas with Manual climate control use this clutched compressor; any other trim (ie if you have an "AUTO" button on your HVAC panel) will use a variable-displacement compressor.

15-244-19:

A unique instance where Subaru has made the previously-not-sold-separately compressor clutch assembly now for sale for BRZ owners.

How do we fix it?

Generally speaking, compressor replacement on Subarus is very straightforward; evacuate the A/C system of its refrigerant, remove the serpentine belt, and then the compressor can be unbolted from the top of the block. (Depending on engine, a few other components may also need to be removed for access.) Swap out the part, reinstall the belt, and then vacuum and recharge the refrigerant. After, verify everything's working.

Coverage?

As a general rule, compressors are covered only by Basic warranty (3 y36k miles) or with an active Subaru Added Security warranty unless specifically extended in an applicable bulletin.
Happy summer and thanks for reading!

alright second try. maybe I can trim the fat a little on this attempt and make it a bit more streamlined.
so the first thing is deciding how many strands to use, and to avoid complicating things on your first try just trust me you'll want to choose an even number.
beginnings:
I almost exclusively do 4 strands as a flat braid with paracord, but that comes with a couple complications of its own involving the finger loop and the pouch design, so I am going to write this for a 6 strand braid, which for most of the sling will be a 3-strand braiding pattern using doubled strands, so 6 total...
...but in order to do the finger loop right you actually want to cut 3 strands at double the full desired length, plus some room for error etc. so for a 54" sling cut 3 lengths of cord at 120" each (and just for convenience go ahead and melt the ends sealed)
line them up alongside one another and fold your bundle in half, but to avoid tangling and confusion keep the 2 halves a little separated. you'll start working on the middle of the bundle.
finger loop:
take the very middle, then choke up a few inches (technically this will amount to the circumference of the finger loop but it doesn't have to be perfect here). tie a slipknot a few inches up from the very middle binding the 3 cords together, and start braiding them together on the long side starting at the knot.
the repeat rule through this whole effort is TIGHT, EVEN braids. if it starts looking wonky, just take it apart and try to fix it bc the further you go the more impossible any corrections will become.
after you get a few inches of braid, loop it around to see how big the finger loop is. you want it wide enough to easily slip past the knuckles on your middle finger (even if that's not the finger you use when you actually sling, you should still make it big enough). when you get there, clothespin the braid closed and untie the slipknot. now you’re gonna tighten up that end of the braid and maybe even add a little length.
stack your braid ends one on top of the other to form the finger loop and make sure each braid's last working strand is pointing in the same direction.
you’re going to pair each strand with its counterpart one by one, and continue the braid as a doubled up 3-strand pattern. this will merge the ends of the finger loop together seamlessly and begin the retention cord.
if this sounds complicated, it's honestly pretty straightforward once you're actually doing it (this sentiment might come up again a couple times fyi)
retention cord:
braiding the retention cord is easy, it's the same 3-strand pattern just with doubled strands now. keep the doubled strands parallel and pull them very tight with each braid you lay down, wrapping them around as you go (again... you'll see what I mean).
knee:
once you get the right length on the retention cord (I didn’t do the math here, but it's not complicated), you'll separate the braid into 2 bundles of 3, each to be braided into the sides of the split pouch.
rather than laying out exactly which strand goes where to make it most even, I think you'll do fine figuring it out on your own. honestly you just want the sides to be as balanced as possible.
a good practice is to braid one side a couple inches, clothespin it, then braid the other side a couple inches. now go back to the first one, undo the braid, pull everything super tight again and braid a couple inches again; then repeat on the other side. this really helps pull out the slack that inevitably builds up.
pouch:
braid each side to the appropriate length (math...), taking turns between them and regularly checking they are well balanced.
we will do a little more to beef up the pouch a bit once we finish the release cord. that is when you can add a Channing type smile if you want, too.
belly:
again, make sure each pouch braid's last working strand points in the same direction and all the strands are pulled tight.
you will rejoin the pouch in a similar way as you did for the finger loop, but this time side by side instead of stacked. this is probably the trickiest part of the whole process, and it might take a couple tries to get it right but it's not too hard. if it's just not working for you, you can get away with joining them stacked instead of side by side and the sling will still work fine - it's just better to do it side by side.
just make sure you keep pulling all the strands tight as you go, and that you are pairing the appropriate strands with one another.
don’t hesitate to take it apart and give it another try if it doesn't look or feel right - it's reasonably important to get this part right since it is the part of the sling that most directly affects how projectiles will release.
release cord:
hey you're at least 3/4 done now. if you want you can just keep doing the same 6 strand, doubled-up 3 strand pattern for the entite length of the release cord - but it's generally advised to drop out strands from the braid periodically to form a steady taper until the very end of the release cord is the same thickness as the finger loop.
it's very easy to do, and I usually just feel it out as I go - it doesn't have to be a perfect taper. you'll drop one cord at a time, so you'll start with 6 strands, braid for a bit... drop to 5 and braid some more; then 4 for a bit, and finally 3 for the remainder - so it does help to learn how to do a 5- and 4-strand braid...
...but honestly it should be ok if you do your 5-strand portion by continuing with the same 3 doubled-up strand pattern, just one of them is a single strand now.
also, whenever you drop a strand don't cut it or anything, just leave it out of the braid and let it hang for now.
same deal when you hit 4 strands - you could learn the braid or just continue the same pattern you've been doing but now only one strand is doubled. doing it like that with the 5 and 4 strand portions will kinda make the cord less... idk 'uniform'(?) than if you were to use the appropriate braid patterns, but all in all it shouldn't be an issue.
lastly, of course, dropping from 4 to 3 should be pretty simple.
release:
I like a smooth release without a knot, but if you want to add a knot you just have to make sure it's in the exact right place so that the very center of the pouch will be the lowest point of the sling when you put the finger loop on and grip the release as you will when it's time to use it. only way to determine that is to put it on your finger and try it out.
if you think it'll help, go ahead and place a projectile in the pouch then hold the sling just as you would if you were getting ready to incapacitate a philistine giant - this will help you find the exact spot where it's most comfortable and natural to grip the release cord and keep the pouch centered.
note: this is actually part of why I prefer to skip the release knot... if you experiment with different ways of holding and releasing etc. - which you probably should if you’re new to slinging - the knot kinda locks you in place. I haven't heard a good argument in favor of the knot actually; it seems like there's no real advantage to having it and it kinda gets in the way
use a crown knot, which is super easy w 3 strands but I’m not going to explain it here - it's all over youtube you'll have no trouble finding a 20 second video demonstrating this simple knot.
you can terminate the sling right at the release knot if you want, but I strongly recommend continuing for a few inches past it - and if you skip the knot, definitely continue a few inches past the portion you'll be gripping.
end the braid with a crown knot then cut and melt the ends of each cord to seal them. melting paracord ends is sort of a skill on its own, but if you do it right it bulges a little and hardens in place which will hold your knot together.
tassle: (how do you spell tassle? is it tassel?)
you don’t need a tassle but hey why not? since you've got plenty of paracord cut like 7" and pull out the inner strands - the guts.
you can thread them through the crown knot for extra security, then braid them together for a few inches - or you can just make a braid and tie it to the end. either way works fine. I like to braid the tassle a bit then let it hang loose for another couple inches into a natural fray, rather than closing the braid with a knot. honestly doesn't matter much, but do leave an unbraided portion as a fray.
pouch afterwork:
you could leave the pouch as is, but it's nice to make it a little beefier and more durable. I just use some more paracord to wrap it. you can use the axe-handle wrap method, which is basically just a series of alternating overhand knots around a core - typically a tool handle but in this case each of the sides of your pouch.
a much, much better way is a 'solomon bar' which is like paracord 101... it's how you make everything - key fobs, bracelets, dog leashes, belts, etc. it's hard to explain, but easy to learn from a video lol. just remember that any video you watch about it will show you how to create a core, then create the knot pattern around it, usually using like one strand of cord - you just need the knot technique since the core you'll tie it around is, again, each of the sides of the pouch.
I've never tried the 'smile' but it seems easy enough - just kinda minimally thread a single strand of cord across the center gap to prevent your projectiles from falling through (honestly it's just not a problem I have often enough to warrant a solution like that)
afterwork/finishing touches:
the hanging strands you dropped out for the taper... just cut those and melt them sealed. easy enough.
you can wrap the finger loop too, if you want. I'd go ahead and do that if you wind up using it often enough, and I recommend something soft like cotton twine... but paracord does work fine too.
end/concluding notes:
and there you go.... idk how much experience you have using a sling, but that's outside the scope of this for me lol - one thing I will say though if you haven't used one before: start with tennis balls or something that can’t knock anybody out or break windows, please!
and lastly, if this does seem like more than you're willing to undertake... there are easier options for sure.
seatbelt sling:
my favorite sling that isn’t a natural fiber balaeric type is the second one I ever made, which took me 10 minutes after watching the video by Mersa - a seatbelt sling. it just uses canvas type material for the pouch and single strands for the cords. look it up. mine gets used all the time and has never needed any repairs or adjustments
noodle sling:
literally takes less than 5 minutes and uses a single uncut cord with easy knots to form the loop and the pouch. you do need a slightly thicker cord though. I’ve made a few of these and they also work great.
anyway, good luck - I'll keep an eye on notifications if you need any help or anything.
it's super satisfying to use a sling you made yourself, and if you're like me at all you'll wind up making like a dozen of them just out of boredom until you get the technique down perfect and even come up with your own ideas and techniques to try out.
just wait until you start getting into the traditional natural fiber methods and you wind up watching the Archaic Arms videos 30x

1) Does it increase likelihood a woman for "Long-term/Marriage" will swipe right? 2) What percentage of men post a video? Women? 3) It's a 15 second clip of my Pilates workout will music playing in the background. Should it be the primary or an other position in the profile? 4) Music is the chart-smashing song "Magic Man" by Heart. Female rockers during the 1970's are bad/ass! Is taste in this genre specific to ages 40 plus? Limiting?
Thank you kindly.
ps. Prefer women in public, but I'll take out a woman who swipes right. Definitely.
.

Hello! Got a bunch of great blades up for sale here. Prices are shipped, for PPFF, or you can add 3% for G&S. Con US preferred. I'll ship to Canada and Alaska but buyer pays additional shipping. No trades please. Yolo's on the post take priority over chats. Thanks for looking!
Timestamp
Large Inkosi Knife Art - Knife is in good condition, has seen light carry and use. Second owner at least. Factory edge, good shape and sharp. Centering and lockup is perfect. Comes with box and all the goodies. SV $500
Paysan - This bad boy is by far the smoothest Spyderco out there! It's mostly in good shape, it does have a couple of small scuffs on the scales (see video). Lockup is rock solid, centering is good. Factory edge and sharp. Second owner. Comes with soft case. SV $570
PM1 Sprint Run - Model #C81GPFG. These were only produced for part of 2008, the CPM D2 plain edge being the only variant of the foliage green sprint run. It's in great shape, especially for a 15 year old knife. Small amount of pocket clip wear. It's hard to tell, but the edge does not appear to be factory. It's decently sharp. Drop shut action. Centering is off to the right ever so slightly. Tiny amount of blade play. I'm sure both of those could be corrected easily, I've just never bothered since it has been exclusively a collectors piece for me. Second owner at least. I don't have the original box, I will ship it with a different Spyderco box. SV $280
Stitch - Stonewash blade. Knife is in good condition, tiny mark on scale by the clip as seen in the video. Second owner. Factory edge, good shape and sharp. Centering and lockup is perfect. Super snappy action. Comes with box. SV $280
XM-18 - Skinny Skinner 3.5 full Ti. Knife is in excellent condition. Clip maybe has a tiny amount of wear. Second owner, never carried by me. Factory edge, good shape and sharp. Centering and lockup is perfect. Action is smooth as butter. Knife only, no box. Ignore the ZT box, it was a brain fart. SV $480
Norseman - ( COA ) Honey comb pattern. #2321. DOB is May 17th, 2019. Knife is in excellent condition, basically looks brand new. Second owner, never carried by me. Factory edge, good shape and sharp. Centering and lockup is perfect. Action is smooth as butter. Comes with hard case, COA and goodies. SOLD $580
Medford Praetorian Genesis T - Good condition. Factory edge, sharp. Action is smooth, centering and lock up are great. Honestly I'm not very familiar with Medford knives, I priced this based on comparable knives listed here. Let me know if I missed the memo on something with this guy. Comes with hard case. SV $380
Cyclone - This is an interesting knife that has been in my collection for almost a decade. I have literally never carried it, but I am the second owner. Manufactured in 2006 and discontinued 2008. It has the selectable assisted opening feature. It works great and is pretty neat. Factory edge, relatively sharp. Nearly solid lockup, perfect centering. Action is snappy with the AO turned on and smooth with it switched off. Comes with the original box. These are pretty rare to find imo, I don't know how sought after they are. But I've seen them go for $200 on Ebay, so let's just do SV $80

I just noticed what might be a bug but I'm not sure so I'd like to ask/verify if anyone else has the same "problem" before filing a report - It is 100% replicable, you can test it and I'd be thankful if you do.
So I created a female Raen and after watching voice sample videos on YT, I decided I would choose voice option #1. And because voice #1 was already selected by default, there was no reason for me to touch the voice part at all. I simply hit "confirm", got in game and to my surprise, her voice sounded totally different.
After many trials I found out why or rather how to get this "special" result. Even if your chosen voice is already selected by default, you need to click it before confirming by hitting the big checkmark symbol under every section.
If you don't click it and simply proceed by confirming - EVEN THOUGH the game shows you that the voice of your choice is marked as it should be - you'll be hearing a different one. And that's not even the end of it.
The "mysterious" voice is not just any other of the 12 options but an entirely different one. I listened to the "cheer" sample of every single one (because the cheer emote happens when you pretend to create a character and the game asks you one last time to proceed or to decline, so technically you only need to go so far) and well, not one of the 12 cheer options sounded like the one you'll have if you don't properly interact with the voice section.
And that applies to EVERY race, male or female, doesn't matter. I'm not sure if the "hidden" voice clip is actually within the other options for other races but for Raen female it is 100% not.
I'm just surprised that you can have a full working voice - battle and emote clips and all - that's not actually in the list, while - if you were to read your character data or go back to your saved design file to check again what you went for - a voice number is marked that doesn't play as intended.
Now I'm worried because I didn't found anything on that specific topic and I searched high and low. Surely I can't be the only one?
EDIT: Okay, I found out that voice #4 is always playing even though voice #1 is selected. For EVERYONE.
I got confused by what I thought to be the cheer emote even though it was the "happy" one, sorry for that.

Link on Steam: https://store.steampowered.com/app/658480/Starfighter_General/
A video of some random game play: https://youtu.be/EK2xB3xCFjQ
If you want to jump in and play: https://store.steampowered.com/app/658480/Starfighter_General/
I'm trying to make the spiritual successor to Xwing for 90s DOS everyone craved, but Lucas Arts never delivered. I was also inspired by Wing Commander Privateer who's title led me to imagining building a giant fleet by buying more and more ships and making friends.
It's still pretty fun and an INSANELY DEEP CODE BASE by which a HUGE HUGE potential WOW killer will be made on. fairly long patch notes of a subset of what I plan on doing in the future are at the bottom.
Fun clips:
[Hailing A Space Station] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B4bpPGJJOqY
[Combat] Something wild happens: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JGyLQpUBXdk
My take Diablo2 skill tree/Path of Exile Talent tree: https://youtu.be/E8h9E4lw2jk?si=LVK8hQOtWez6Riwy&t=16 Very pretty to watch.
If you want to see what's coming up with the next patch, you have to assemble a spoiler:
rum ble .com/v4tf892-spoiler-female-ai-voice-all-of-starfighter-general-mmo-patch-1-quests.html
Many people say my story lines are the best sci fi man's ever written, greater than Starwars, Startrek, Cowboy Bebop, Dune, Blade Runner, etc. I focus on making it entertaining.
Most people who played the anthology pencil and paper RPG say it's the best RPG they played... And the anthology has about 700 unpublished pages of content and 4,000 pages of code from the 90s. I didn't just design this MMORPG before any, I started coding in 1992...
Well it's just a foundation to build. I'll release stories as I release techs... Want to see some of the wild techs in and going in: https://www.starfightergeneral.com/my-books-2/
Dev Blooper reel for those into those: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tq6Y5j9moR0

Link on Steam: https://store.steampowered.com/app/658480/Starfighter_General/
A video of some random game play: https://youtu.be/EK2xB3xCFjQ
If you want to jump in and play: https://store.steampowered.com/app/658480/Starfighter_General/
I'm trying to make the spiritual successor to Xwing for 90s DOS everyone craved, but Lucas Arts never delivered. I was also inspired by Wing Commander Privateer who's title led me to imagining building a giant fleet by buying more and more ships and making friends.
It's still pretty fun and an INSANELY DEEP CODE BASE by which a HUGE HUGE potential WOW killer will be made on. fairly long patch notes of a subset of what I plan on doing in the future are at the bottom.
Fun clips:
[Hailing A Space Station] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B4bpPGJJOqY
[Combat] Something wild happens: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JGyLQpUBXdk
My take Diablo2 skill tree/Path of Exile Talent tree: https://youtu.be/E8h9E4lw2jk?si=LVK8hQOtWez6Riwy&t=16 Very pretty to watch.
If you want to see what's coming up with the next patch, you have to assemble a spoiler:
rum ble .com/v4tf892-spoiler-female-ai-voice-all-of-starfighter-general-mmo-patch-1-quests.html
Many people say my story lines are the best sci fi man's ever written, greater than Starwars, Startrek, Cowboy Bebop, Dune, Blade Runner, etc. I focus on making it entertaining.
Most people who played the anthology pencil and paper RPG say it's the best RPG they played... And the anthology has about 700 unpublished pages of content and 4,000 pages of code from the 90s. I didn't just design this MMORPG before any, I started coding in 1992...
Well it's just a foundation to build. I'll release stories as I release techs... Want to see some of the wild techs in and going in: https://www.starfightergeneral.com/my-books-2/
Dev Blooper reel for those into those: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tq6Y5j9moR0

Divorced Singles 5 (돌싱글즈5) is on MBN/etc.
Synopsis:

Newly single and ready to mingle, divorced men and women enter the Dolsing Village looking to date, cohabitate and find love again.
But this time it's for those born in the 1990s or MZ Generation.

Cast

Female	Male
Park Hyekyeong	Son Minseong
Kang Saebom	Shim Kyudeok
Baek Sujin	Choi Jongkyu
Son Seah	Kim Kyuon

Panelists

• Lee Hye-young
  
• Lee Ji-hye (from S#arp group)
  
• Yoo Se-yoon
  
• Eun Ji-won (from Sechs Kies group)
  
• Austin Kang
  

Sources

Divorced Singles (돌싱글즈) channel on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@Dolsingles_official/videos
The MBN Entertainment channel also uploads some of the teasers/clips/etc. earlier than the Divorced Singles channel: https://www.youtube.com/@MBN_Entertainment/videos
Pre-release presentation with the panelists and PD: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jf93Ed_gQes

Title	Version
Divorced Singles 5 (돌싱글즈5) Episode 2 English Softsub	720p/1080p (~2.0GB/4.0GB/6.0GB: https://gofile.io/d/GV8m5Z)
Divorced Singles 5 (돌싱글즈5) Episode 2 English Hardsub	1080p (~1.7GB: https://gofile.io/d/QwnmCI)

Discussion Threads

Divorced Singles 5 (돌싱글즈5) Discussion
E01, E02

Here have some other (variety/reality/etc.) shows too: https://www.reddit.com/koreanvariety/comments/1clzzpinfinite_challenge_무한도전_season_1_english_subtitles/
Centralized post about Korean/Chinese/Japanese/et cetera variety shows and how to access them (with AI-generated/machine translation info, language learning, and other stuff): https://www.reddit.com/useMNLYYZYEG/comments/1clzy6asian_varietyreality_shows_language_learning/
As usual, these links will automatically expire after say 10 days or so (it's that website's current default policy), so definitely get them ASAP. Like the links below were all/mostly updated last week for Divorced Singles Episode 1, so some of the links will probably expire this week or in a few days.

Title	Version
I Am Solo (나는 SOLO) Season 1-3 New English Softsub	720p (~14.6GB: https://gofile.io/d/5vNTHf)
I Am Solo (나는 SOLO) Season 1-3, New English subtitles only	720p (~3.4MB: https://gofile.io/d/8aEyZ9)

Title	Version
Once More (再次心动) English Softsub	1080p (~7.0GB: https://gofile.io/d/xNnZwi)

Title	Version
Go Straight for Love or Direct Love (연애는 직진) Better New English Softsub	1080p (~13GB: https://gofile.io/d/SIVGO2)

Title	Version
Hao You Hao You Ai Season 2 (好友好有爱 第二季) Episode 6 English Softsub	1080p (~1.5GB: https://gofile.io/d/8156eX)

Title	Version
Love Catcher Japan (ラブキャッチャージャパン) English Softsub	1080p (~16GB: https://gofile.io/d/kViuYg)
Love Catcher Japan (ラブキャッチャージャパン) English subtitles only	1080p (~1.5MB: https://gofile.io/d/wljuVA)

Title	Version
Love Catcher Season 2 (러브캐처2) English Softsub (fansub, credits to nytelynx)	1080p (~21GB: https://gofile.io/d/lGwgke)

Just about a day ago they finally uploaded the teasepreview/etc. for Twinkle Love Season 4 (怦然心动20岁 第四季) with Shen Yue/沈月 (super famous Chinese actress from Meteor Garden, A Love So Beautiful, etc.) and so on: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H6LXILAvKQU. Can't believe that fourth season in Thailand/etc. is finally coming in the near future.
Same with Yes, I Do Season 5 (喜欢你我也是 第五季). Should only be several weeks from now with those new seasons.
For the Single's Inferno (솔로지옥) series fans, there's now a Chinese version of it, lol. Live and Love (势均力敌的我们) has 20 housemates (instead of the usual 10 or so) and ya that first episode focused more on the competition/survival/etc. aspect instead of actual dating, haha. Worth a try since the housemates are pretty chillax or cool from the get-go.

Title	Version
Live and Love (势均力敌的我们) Episode 1 English Softsub	1080p (~1.8GB: https://gofile.io/d/hyuMgz)
Live and Love (势均力敌的我们) Episode 1 Commentary English Softsub	1080p (~230MB: https://gofile.io/d/95PKfZ)

Min Heejin (director of NewJeans/ADOetc.) is probably crying right now again (lol) since they used I'LL-IT's Magnetic as like the very first song for this dating show, which is insane when you think about it since that song/music video (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vk5-c_v4gMU) just released say nearly two months ago (March 25, 2024). And it's already being used in a Chinese dating show like this.
Live and Love (势均力敌的我们) is available on WeTV/Tencent Video with like propeofficial/etc. subtitles (in English, Bahasa Malaysia/Indonesia, Spanish, Portuguese, Thai, etc.) check Youtube (Tencent Video-Show-Get the WeTV APP channel), more info here: https://www.reddit.com/KDRAMA/comments/1csecz9/frankly_speaking_episodes_5_6/l49sej8/
Live and Love (势均力敌的我们) Episode 1 Part 1: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1CKX7rVxMm8
Live and Love (势均力敌的我们) Episode 1 Part 2: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7fvyfNA1kSw
But ya, as expected, the subtitles by those Chinese streaming services (WeTV(Tencent Video)/iQIYI/YOUKU/MangoTV/etc.) are often machine-translated as well with these variety/reality shows (and Cdramas). So maybe they'll fix it later though ya those official/propeetc. subtitles are also missing a few scenes or certain parts for now, but the subtitles are sorta a bit better than the OpenAI Whisper I posted earlieabove since they quickly redid the subjects/objects/etc. of the machine-translated sentence. So try watching the official/propeetc. version first instead of the AI-generated version that I posted since sometimes they update the subtitles on Youtube after a while to somewhat fix stuff.
Oh and the new Frankly Speaking Kdrama with Kang Han-na and Go Kyung-pyo is literally like Love Is for Suckers (has Lee Da-hee, one of the panelists of Single's Inferno (1, 2, and 3), as the producer or main character there, and Super Junior's Choi Si-won as the male lead), as in it's got the behind the scenes storyline and recreations/parodies/etc. for shows like I Am Solo (나는 SOLO) and Single's Inferno. It's so hilarious, definitely watch it if you're a fan of dating/cohabitation/slice of life/etc. shows.
Some info about Frankly Speaking and the Couple Paradise (커플천국) dating show inside the drama: https://www.reddit.com/KDRAMA/comments/1csecz9/frankly_speaking_episodes_5_6/l49lpej/
Han Dong-hee (한동희) is literally like the 첫사랑 (her visuals were insane in Captivating the King as Hongjang: https://www.reddit.com/KDRAMA/comments/19bxla0/captivating_the_king_episodes_1_2/kiye1e6/) and like wow, does she not look like Seah from Divorced Singles 5 (돌싱글즈5), such sharp features, much wow (Balltze/Cheems doge forever living in memories), lmao.

I AM NOT OOP. OOP is u/ReverendMuddyGrimes
Originally posted on relationships
2 updates – short
Content warning: drug and alcohol abuse, waste of questionable origin
Original post - October 7th, 2023
Update 1 - March 17th, 2024
Update 2 - May 15th, 2024
Sister-in-law told me my wife cheated while on vacation
The players in this drama. My wife who for the purpose of this post shall be called Anne (female 47). My sister-in-law (female 40) who we shall call Shannon. SIL's cheating partner (male mid 40s) known hereafter as Tony. And myself (male, so close to 50 that I can reach out and slap it). We shall refer to me as "me". Usual disclaimers of cell phone and English is my first language, I just suck at it. So my wife had to travel to her step father's house. He is in very poor health, and she went there to help set up home heath. She was there for a week, and we were in constant contact. Her sister is a drunk and a drug addict. At several points during the visit, we were on video chat when "Shannon" came into the room where my wife and her father were. She was buck ass naked, raging drunk. In front of her father. I was mortified, and I'm sure he was too. Now "Shannon" is married, but separated. She has a live in boyfriend. "Tony" is my father-in-law's primary care giver. For the flight home, "Anne" missed her flight. "Tony" was driving her to the airport. There was an unusual amount of road construction, and they arrived late. She had to take a different flight. Not a big deal. After she was home for a few days, the following text exchange happened between me and Shannon. Shannon: they fucked. Me: who, and did you film it? We could make a fortune on pornhub! Shannon: I saw him leaving her room and smiling. You know she didn't miss her flight! He ain't denying it. Me: well, if they did, he's the luckiest man alive.
Now guys, I know that I have a better chance of creating a fart powered personal jet than this story has of being true. It's just not in her nature. That said, damn that woman to the depths of Detroit's South side for putting the idea in my head.
So, the question: how do I deal with a crazy drunk 80lb woman from 1000 miles away. I can't block her, because the rest of her family has. If something happens to the father-in-law while Tony is at work, I'm the only one she can contact.
Tldr: drunk SIL claims wife cheated. She didn't. I have to decide how to deal with her.
Comments
Indianblanket
Tell Tony you are blocking Shannon and to please contact you directly with any updates he receives from Shannon while he's at work.
Block Shannon.
Call Dad daily.
EdgeCityRed
Yeah, I had a former friend like Shannon: a heavy drinker, mental issues (no offense intended to people dealing with mental issues, but this was the main factor in that case), major liar who'd fixate on specific things to lie about.
I did block this person in every conceivable way but I can't think of anything else to do in your situation but ignore the behavior since you have to be in contact. OR, you and your wife could just talk to Tony about the father-in-law with the understanding that if Tony quits being the caregiver or breaks up with Shannon, he passes your contact info to the next caregiver. If something happens when Tony is at work, he'd still probably know before you.
Anyway, you have nothing to worry about with the wife anyway; you're too funny to dump.
\too funny to dump. I have a host of exes that would strongly disagree. Unless you meant funny looking. Then, they would come down solidly on your side*
Update 1
Several months ago my drunk of a SIL (f-40) told me (m-50) that my wife of 12 years (f-47) cheated on me while setting her her step dad's home health in Detroit. I, of course, didn't believe her. A lot has happened since then. First, we all went up for Christmas. While we were there, SIL (I called her Shannon in the original post) stormed in and claimed that my wife was having sex with her boyfriend "Tony" on the front porch. Two problems with that. 1) It's Detroit in December so it's cold as a well digger's ass outside. 2) my wife is in the chair next to mine. SIL ended up assaulting Tony right after I returned home. She ended up in jail where she was placed on a 3 day psych hold. Apparently being a drunken meth addict makes you crazy. Who knew? Mid January, my father-in-law passed away. This sent SIL into a spiral. Especially when she found out that she couldn't stay in the family home anymore as it had to be sold. She was given $35,000 from her father's retirement to get a new place and hold her over until the sale of the house. My wife and I drove up to prepare the house to go on the market. Y'all, I've been in nasty houses before, but not like this. My father-in-law kept this place immaculate. Now, in just 2 months, it qualifies for an episode of Hoarders. There is dog crap halfway up the walls in the den. I didn't even know dogs could poop that high! There were several empty bottles of $350 tequila in the living room. We figure that she will have drank her entire inheritance in six months. We had to rent a dumpster for me to shovel all of her garbage in to. Obviously, I changed the locks and garage door codes. Im a career garage door installer, so that part was easily done. Even more obviously, all those people who responded to the original post that my wife cheated were VERY wrong. Edit: the dog is a chihuahua. We assume that it did it's doggie business off the back of the couch, since we had to move the couch to find what was causing the smell. We can't take the dog because SIL refuses to see us. TLDR, Wife, who I knew didn't cheat even though her sister claimed she did, was exonerated because her sister is batshit crazy from meth and alcohol.
Comments
Scarletnightingale
Sir, given that she is an alcoholic with a meth addiction, I would assume that that was not dog poop on the walls. Alcoholics tend to have issues with their digestive system and meth and alcohol mess with judgement and a person caring of they pooped on the wall.
Good luck with the house, and I'm sorry that your SIL is making things so much more difficult for you during the loss of your wife's father.
Elfich47 If she making meth in the house, you may need a decon team to clean the site up.
She doesn't make it, just uses. We know this by the amount of dealers that FIL had to chase off
Update 2
I mentioned in my last post that my Father-in-law passed away. From insurance and his retirement both of his daughters received $104k before taxes. We paid our taxes up front leaving us just over $80k. We really don't have much debt, so we put it all on our house. My SIL however chose to accept a lump sum. In the update, when she had gotten the first installment of $35k, I said she would have drank it all in 6 months. Apparently I am a very optimistic man. She has drank,shot up, and snorted the entire $104k in less than 3 months. Through most of the high times, she sent my wife incredibly awful texts claiming that her dad never loved her. Technically it was my wife's step-dad. One of the claims made was that if he loved her he would have adopted her. SIL was too young to remember, but he did try. Her birth father wouldn't sign off on it. Anyway, she is out of money. My wife is getting around a dozen slurred phone calls a day begging her to let SIL sleep on our couch. That is a giant HELL NO from us. We expect to hear any day that she has been found dead.
TLDR: SIL blew her entire inheritance on drugs and alcohol. Now after insulting my wife for months, wants to live with us.
Comments
crom_77
Sounds like you have a head on your shoulders. SIL sounds like a nightmare. Money can wreck a family if it's not handled carefully, I've seen it happen several times. People live like there's going to be a big payout at the end, or like they deserve something.
HuntEnvironmental863
Do you think in 3 months OP will be back on here cause Anne took the 80k and ran off with Tony?
80k is gone. It went on our mortgage. As for Tony, he disappeared when the SIL ran out of money.
Marked as concluded per OOP.
No brigading, no harassment.

EDIT thank you all so much for your replies and support
I need a little help understanding some experiences i had as a teenager. I'll try to keep this short and to the point. Please consider these situations and tell me if you think these were actually child abuse. Im female if that makes any difference.

1. Mom got extremely angry with me for continuing to be friends with one of my friends my parents didn't like at the time, and began throwing dishes at me in the kitchen. None hit me, I was able to avoid them. But one hit the refrigerator so hard it left a dent. I was somwhere between 16 and 17.
   
2. My dad brought me to my parents bedroom one day without my mom present. He had a video camera recording where he said he was recording for his lawyer to prove I was not being coerced to sign a document (I don't remember what the document actually said but i do remember at the time my parents were hoping to charge my boyfriend with rape, when we were actually just having consenting sex. I was 17 and he was 18.) After signing this document however my dad insisted he needed to get back to spanking me. So he had me lay over his lap and spanked me repeatedly. At 17 years old this experience was so mortifying I never spoke of it to anyone, ever. The case never went anywhere as 17 is the age of consent where we lived.
   
3. My parents left me alone at home locked out of the house one time while they went on an overnight trip with my little sister. I was expected to sleep in the garage. It was an actual garage, not a converted room. It was not heated or cooled. The only restroom i could access was the one at the community pool several blocks away. I was 17 and this was around the same time as the above incident. I don't remember what they set up for me to sleep on or eat. I didn't stay there though but had my boyfriend pick me up and I stayed at his house.
   

Thanks for any perspective you can offer on these.

My fellow gamers, for too long has our community suffered the indignation of an intolerable culture that has denigrated, besmirched, exploited, and has outright demonized our culture of unique individuals with a genuine love of a hobby that they see as profitable and progressive. They have taken beloved IP’s (Intellectual Properties) and twisted them into their own personal ideological crusade of undermining and humiliating the core aspects of characters they deemed as “Toxic” or “White Supremacy”. Through the guise and protection of DEI (Diversity, Equity, and Inclusivity) & ESG (Environmental, Social, and Governance) they have used our influence in the entertainment industry to push their narratives and agendas that have stigmatized our culture with numerous anti-consumer practices that they call “being progressive”. But the truth of the matter is they were never really looking to be a part of our community, they simply wanted to use our community as a tool of activism and propaganda in the entertainment industry as it was extremely profitable, and they wanted inclusion in that division. Ever since GamerGate & Female Frequency, we have had to endure the incursion of forced ideologies, xenophobic behaviors and inferior overpriced products that have never been in our best interest and have been flat out disgraceful towards foreign media.
Before Gaming had become a major source of entertainment, we were often categorized as anti-social or societies rejects where because we found more enjoyment in playing fictional characters and not spending as much time out and about, we never fully assimilated in society (which is a good thing if you ask me). From 1998 to 2007, at the height of innovation, creativity and production, Gaming had reached a golden age in which it had revolutionized society. Hollywood Execs who had ruined the movie industry turned their attention to video games as a source of income since video games had outperformed movies in terms of profit. No one was concerned about gaming, much less diversity or inclusivity until it became profitable. This makes people like SBI look extremely disingenuous as they were not interested in gamers as a community with its own culture. They simply wanted to use it as another weapon in identity politics.
Microtransactions; the hidden enemy to gamer progress and inducer to mental laziness of our community. Microtransactions have been around for a long time; however, it has never been more potent and apparent than in recent years. It has aided in the dismantling and segregation of players on the ideology of FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) and has created another sub-culture of gamers who have no real drive to be better outside of how much money they put into the game. This has degraded our culture as well as we have become “fat” off transactional gaming but at the same time we have been “starved” of purposeful gaming where our achievements were our sustenance. I am not saying that microtransactions are bad, but when they are exploitative and predatorial like they have been and don’t give gamers room to grow, we become lethargic and unwilling to improve ourselves as gamers. Oversaturated microtransactional games are one of the many reasons why we have become complacent and unwilling to fight against the exploitative tactics used by big brand game companies such EA, Ubisoft, ActivisionBlizzard, NaughtyDog and so many other western business model companies. Western style games were not like this in the past, they had much more depth and actual effort put into them with the gamer in mind. This has not been the case for over a decade and our connection to western developers has been whittled down to just being transactional. That is one of the reasons why you see so many remasters and remakes in today’s gamer community. They have lost their willingness to improve as developers of games and simply accept corporate/share holder rules.
Game journalists also do not have any real integrity or purpose outside of being funded for their involvement in promoting IPG (Identity Political Games) in a positive light to the public whether it’s positively received or not. They are not interested in what we have to say, they all support the same agenda and that is why they are a dying breed. Within the next couple of years, they will be out of the job and more than likely they will not be able to stay in the industry giving how they have responded to past articles that have clearly been scripted on the premise of diversity and racism. Not only that, but most of them are also extremely hostile to the community as they stereotype and defame the individuals that are a part of the community they are supposed to serve. We have been mentally liberated from their lies and coercive tactics as we tend to laugh at their obvious attempt at virtue signaling while hiding their misdoings so that they can play the victim.
My gamer brothers & sisters, I would not suggest the following action that we must take now without good cause. I have weighed our options and the best option for us now is this…...CULTURAL SECESSION. Naturally this is a form of segregation where they would more than likely claim they are being segregated by the dominant culture of the gaming community but that is incorrect. For years now we have been the ones who are often marginalized and ostracized for the smaller portion of our community. And when we aren’t, we’re exploited for more funds so that these companies can stay in business only to subject us to low quality products that coincide with the “WOKE Agenda” that are often huge expenses to these big brands i.e. AAA/AAAA games that will eventually flop for its obvious forced diversity and bug infested product which will undoubtedly piss off the consumer to the point of wanting a refund. Losing copious amounts of capital and stock in the process, not to mention their reputation is permanently marred.
We must separate on every cultural level in terms of entertainment and ideology. We must reject everything from the west that promotes toxic western beliefs, practices, and exclusion from other cultures (i.e. Southeastern Countries such as Japan and Korea). Japan & Korea have been the targets of unjust discrimination from Western Developers, Western Journalists, Western Localizers (The Wokelizers) and Western Society Prejudice regarding their sense of aesthetics as Westerners hate the aesthetic sense of these countries. The reason why they resort to such base tactics isn’t just because it weaponizes the ideal female form but it’s also because they have deep-seated insecurities about their own looks so when they see attractive female characters, they use terms such as “unrealistic” or “hypersexualized” to establish the moral high ground. But the truth is, they want to feel superior to that which is ideal, so they insult and dehumanize this figure that portrays natural female beauty because they see it as an insult to their own social superiority in what they believe is a hierarchy of them being at the top of all other women. Because of this and so many contributing factors, their movies flop harder than the Fat Chocobo landing on a group of enemies and their games seismically fail just as much if not more. We must sever our connection to Western Developers, Publishers, and ALL Western-Centric Entertainment for they seek to mentally enslave us to their Xenophobic ideology.
Let’s define Western Culture and its traits. Western Culture/Society is composed of more than several different ideologies that work in unison with one another to facilitate dominance over multiple aspects of society. Business, Social, Political, Technological, and sometimes even Global Affairs are affected by these ideologies that portray a specific mindset of Western beliefs. What are those ideologies you ask?

• Perpetual Victimhood: By weaponizing the fact that they are marginalized and of a small portion of western society, they can push their agenda to absurd standards that ultimately ostracize the main demographic. And when companies don’t capitulate, they are labeled as anti-progressive/misogynist’s or cohorts of White Supremacy. They use this to cancel their targets and silence them through societal defamation to keep the public on their side. They also use this mindset to justify their own lack of self-agency as they tend to throw companies who do adhere to their demands but miserably fail to turn a profit under the bus so that they can maintain face in front of the public while denying their actual involvement. They will never accept “Sense of Agency” when it’s negative but will gladly accept it when a positive outcome shines on them as if they are entitled to it.

Official Wiki GamerGate Page)
​

• Societal Terrorism: This is another form of ideology weaponization that they use in order to make companies “toe-the-line” with their agenda. By weaponizing cancel culture, they exert dominance over these companies but in exchange they also reimburse those companies with DEI & ESG funds that raise their credit score as well as having social status with the marginalized demographic. However; cancel culture has not succeeded in years and developers and publishers probably only want the money and the DEI ESG rating. But they have to maintain the image of having social economic power so that they can continue to strong-arm other developers into compliance and promoting financial benefits of DEI & ESG. In other words, if you are not for sale, they discredit and stigmatize you in the industry.

Asmongold Clips.
https://youtu.be/Iq86DnmX2xY
​

• “Its not us, its you who’s wrong” Mentality: This mentality is especially annoying as they tend to use it to hide their incompetence. They often look down upon gamers who are not in the industry to hide their obvious lack of knowledge on game development thinking that their job title grants them special status that they believe gives them the right to be condescending. But the truth they never wanted revealed has already strangled their careers of all credibility. They were never GAMERS, they were INVADERS. Community Colonists that seek to indoctrinate next generational gamers into their hive-mind and brand previous generations of gamers as villains.

@GeeksandGamers
https://youtu.be/1HbrTkqQFuM
​

• Double-standard Enforcement: By labeling something as “unrealistic” or “hypersexualized”, they can claim this is morally wrong if it promotes traditional dynamics between men and women. Heterosexual relationships are condemned while at the same time Same-sex relationships are praised. Additionally, heterosexual relationships with main white male characters turn antagonistic and spotlight stealing. This is deliberate as to promote the “Girl Boss” ideology to indoctrinate women into the Feminazi state of mind. While at the same time, should a male character also adopt the “I don’t need male/female” ideology its seen as Toxic Masculinity which isn’t even a real thing. The idea of a strong male character is taboo while enforcing strong female characters is the ideal.

@MugenLord
https://youtu.be/to5Uciy_yeg
@EndymionTv
https://youtu.be/7TPTR8-qmbk
​

• Dehumanization/Demonization: This is something that most military branches use in order to remove conscious inhibitions such as mass slaughter is wrong or categorization. By enforcing ideologies to denounce humanity in certain targets, it deactivates your conscience by saying this is not human therefore its ethically okay to treat this target without compassion and deny the fact it has sentience. We gamers fall under this category for journalists, developers, companies and society at large. This is a tactic we are familiar with to an extent as it implies that we are not normal when we do not do what everybody else is doing. “Geeks are the worse” or “Nerds need to fall into a pit of lava” are verbal dehumanization forms that most people in society say and we as Gamers tend to be relegated to those categories. This is their way of imposing the social hierarchy on us by establishing superiority. We know this as Gamers as we see it very often in the games that we play and some times experience it in real life.

https://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Gamergate#The_end_of_their_relevance
​

• Deflection/Projection: This is basic psychology 101. By redirecting the conversation away from their mistakes and back on to the opposing view to avert blame and justify their innocence they can avoid criticism. However; deflection is a CONSCIOUS decision, meaning they have no real argument to justify their incompetence. If you can consciously process the situation, you have self-agency which means you don’t have a legitimate excuse. Projection is something else entirely. Most times, Projection doesn’t work on conscious decisions rather it is automatically deployed when feeling threatened, anxious or both. Instead of accepting accountability for feelings or actions that are deemed socially unacceptable they accuse others of committing that unacceptable behavior thereby exonerating themselves and proving that those feelings and/or actions are not their own.

@TheTrentReport
https://youtu.be/bPIPSKruYRo
These traits are so nefarious and unconscionable that I have a hard time believing that anyone could harbor them. However, given the social, political, and economic climate that we are in, those in power who use their influence on controlling society most definitely possess these insidious traits. Everything that they do is all about control and since video games are the biggest market in the world, they want control over it and the communities built around it to accrue more wealth and to use that wealth to subjugate other cultures. Mainstream media is a tool as well as mainstream organizations and sites to help accomplish this goal.
The government recently announced its intentions towards what they believe is “GamerGate 2.0” and now even the ADL has made an official appearance, referring to gamers as “extremist’s”. We know EXACTLY what they are doing, and they aren’t even trying to hide it anymore because they don’t think we are aware of their motives. This is just a pretext for them to exert even more control and we know why, it’s because they want the influence we as a community have to must serve them. So here is what we do my fellow gamers-
“In light of recent events and years of mainstream stigma, we the members of the Global Gaming Community [GGC] must officially renounce ALL TIES to the corporate western video game market. We have been financially exploited through predatorial monetization schemes, pelted with numerous articles of disdain and intentional misrepresentation from game journalists, news outlets regarding us as dangerous individuals and, even subjected to inferior products not only riddled with bugs but also products meant to push political agendas. For the preservation of our community and its unique culture, apart from a few select game development studios we officially sever all connections to western owned video game companies & their mainstream affiliates. From this point onward, we will no longer support western corporate developers, journalists and publishers that do not coincide with the goals of our community.”
Naturally this is completely optional. If you are okay with the state of the gaming community as it is, feel free to ignore this. But if you wish for real change and a break away from oversaturated monetization in the games you play and the push for radical ideological reform, then you are in the right place. Lets sever these rotted miasmic ties once and for all so that our community can be preserved and made better for future gamers. If you agree with this, share it with whoever you think might be interested. The more gamers who get involved, the easier it will be for us to finally break free from mainstream game companies and their associates.

Okay, for weeks I kept seeing clips of this TV show and now I cannot find a video and googling is getting me nowhere 😭 its driving me mad and I have veryy little info from the tiktoks do if anyone gets it I'll be forever greatful
So the clips I seen where always between a blonde female(light blonde wispy and messy looking)(id describe her as pale and more thin/fraile looking i guess idk) in like a old farm style dress and a brunette boy. The vibe is that they've always been close and he's always been in love with her, but the blonde refuses to admit and commit to him for whatever reason, everyone in the comments would always talk about how he's better of without her anyways clips ive seen was blonde being upset with him talking ina field together, and she finds out he's set to marry another (maybe a friend of theirs) ik its not much but any suggestions would be greatly appreciated 😩

Happy Wednesday!
My last knife sale - potentially. And isn't it somewhat glorious that it's the OG of great pocket knives?
Previously listed as a set - overall price is lower accordingly.
Much love,
Tramp

Selling Info:

*Shipping: CONUS only and will go out the next business day (at t
*Trades: No MAS.
STAMPAGE

The Wares:

CRK Large Sebenza w/ Milled Clip

S45VN
SV/385
The same thing applies here. I've had dozens of CRK's and just don't seem to hold on to them. They're great knives, but I rarely reach for them. The action is pretty much as good as they get with a Sebenza (see video). I polished the washers, and this helps a great deal. DOB is: Sept 16th, 21 There are some snails on the scales, which happens as soon as you touch a sand blasted CRK. I honestly prefer them broken in, they look like a nicely broken in pair of denim, and are uniquely yours. I've swapped the thumb stud to Ti Connector studs. They are night and day better than the garbage CRK units. You're welcome. Second owner. Has been used lightly and carried. Comes with box, original clip, Etsy Ti clip, add on lanyard (dark blue), grease and lock-tite. SOLD

Large Sebenza Scales

SV/75
Two large Sebenza Scales.
The milled Ti scale is identical to the Wilson Combat version of the Sebenza and is the sandblasted variant. Matches the OG CRK sandblasting perfectly. Has a few snails, but so does every sandblasted CRK that's ever been out of the box. Fits the knife identically to the CRK scale, and has the same action. No blade play.
The Ultem is from Pacific Sons on Etsy and fits perfectly. Action is identical to the stock scale and it lightens up the knife by about an ounce. No blade play. This perfectly balances the Sebenza, right behind the pivot. Mounted once, but shows no wear. SOLD