Bingo wish quotes

Octopus Energy are currently the cheapest supplier for the government cap energy tariff (Flexible Octopus). The difference between suppliers is minimal (~£8 a year), but arises because of the small differences in the ways in which suppliers are able to implement the government cap,
To make switching to Octopus a bit more appealing, they are offering new customers a £50 bill credit when signing up Octopus via a refer-a-friend link.
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Switching to Octopus - Get a £50 Bill Credit

If you are thinking of signing up to Octopus, you should check that Octopus is cheaper than your current supplier. Especially if you have an Economy 7 meter (probably EDF is better).
If you are on a normal meter, there are two options:

• Flexible Octopus (little cheaper than other suppliers due to a 4% reduction in the standing charge rates set by Ofgem).
• Octopus Tracker (currently ~30-40% cheaper than Ofgem cap). > > This link takes you to an auto-updating dashboard that shows the prices of the Tracker tariff for each region. The rate follows wholesale prices, and it is currently the cheapest tariff because wholesale rates are low. But in Octopus' own words: "You will need to keep a close eye on your daily rate but at the moment it is cheaper than the Octopus Flexible tariff".

Daily price updates for the Tracker tariffs are posted on Reddit to OctopusEnergyTracker
I switched from Shell energy because Octopus were actually cheaper (despite all the price cap stuff). If you want to see if Octopus is a good deal for you, here's what to do:
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How to get your £50 Bill Credit if Switching to Octopus is a good idea for you

1. Get your annual usage from your latest bill.
2. Click the Octopus £50 Bonus Referral link

As long as you have clicked the referral link you should see the "Special offer: £50 credit for you and XXX if you sign-up now." banner at the top of this page.

3. Enter your postcode.
4. Click the "Get a quote button." and then enter your details and click "Quote me" to see the rates available.

Compare these rates to those from your current supplier, and if they are better then you may wish to switch!

5. Click "sign me up" to get started with your switch to Octopus.
6. Sign up by entering your details and creating an account.
7. Look out for any emails confirming your switch and requesting your meter numbers.

I signed up just before New Year, and received my confirmation within 10 minutes. A few minutes later I was asked to enter my meter serial numbers (these are on your bill). Ten minutes after that, I received confirmation from my old provider (Shell) that my switch is underway.

8. Automatically receive your £50 referral credit once you are on supply and your first direct debit has been taken.

Then refer your friends (if it makes sense for them to do so), and you will both receive £50 when they sign up!
If you fancy joining the Tracker tariff, then once you are an Octopus customer just sign up on the Tracker page here
Links:
Octopus £50 Bonus Referral link ^{[no ref, no bonus](https://octopus.energy})

Hello! 😊👋🏼
If you're looking for your new best friend and your biggest cheerleader sprinkled with a little bit of Golden Retriever energy, you've come to the right post! 🐶
I’m somebody who loves to chat the day away, getting to know all there is to know about a person (I actually kinda do this for a job!) and forming lovely connections.
A little about me - I’m an introverted extrovert. I love my home comforts, but in the comfort of my own home and with people I love, I’m a bit of an oddball. I love to read, watch horror & comedy movies, listen to metal and country music, get way too invested in WWE, collect Funko Pops, bake, laugh at bad jokes and great memes, and send unsolicited videos of me lip syncing to my friends. I’m a fiancé and a mum to my cute pup and my three lovely cats (crazy cat lady who?). Happy to exploit them for my own personal gain by sharing pictures of them without their consent should you wish. Also, I have watched Always Sunny more times than I can count and will quote this at you regularly ☀️
I like to be upfront and let people know that I’m pierced and rather chonky (here I am) because if that bothers you then we probably aren’t gonna make great friends ❤️
If you think we’d get along, or simply that you can lip sync better than me, then get in touch! I’m happy to write, email, DM, whatever takes your fancy! Looking forward to meeting some lovely new people 🌻

I have a “friend” (you’ll see why it’s in quotes) and we (both 18) are hs seniors and soon to graduate. Long story short she does eyelash extensions as a business and she’s done them for me I’d say 3 times maximum, because she was newly starting out when I met her last year and I just wanted to support her business (she did awkward marketing and I felt bad). She has a boyfriend and they’ve been together for I believe all of highschool, and they’re kind of like that one couple everyone expects to get married because of how much they seem like sweethearts. Unfortunately though, this year he broke up with her right before prom and she’s kind of a wreck (he’s her first everything as she puts it) and has been coming to me about it because she knows I’m not really into gossip so I wouldn’t tell anyone, completely different social bracket. However she only told me specifically because I ended up walking in on her in the bathroom at school mid breakdown and she basically spilled it all, and I, wanting to be polite told her if she needed anything im there.
It’s been about three weeks since then, and she has definitely taken up on the offer. It’s getting to the point where I’m starting to get salty because she will call me at odd hours to go on hour long rants about all the stuff they used to do and “he’s active on (social media)” and blah blah blah. I of course have still acted politely to her, and given her a buttload of advice I could think of because I did make the offer. However, I think it’s annoying. I don’t genuinely care about anything she’s telling me and I’ve been dodging her reaching out to me because I just can’t do it. I’m starting to feel used because I know she doesn’t have anyone to fully spill this to that’s from a complete outside perspective like I unfortunately am to her. So she dumps literally every detail on me with no regard for the fact that I still have a life and am not her pocket therapist. I never communicated this to her because I’ve never been in a super long relationship, and kind of think it’s corny how attached she is to the relationship, So I’m trying to convince myself to shut up because I don’t get it from her view. It also pisses me of how she casually states a massive red flag of his, then gets irritated with me when I point out that it’s a red flag. he can do no wrong i guess?
At this point I know this is probably messed up but the only reason I’m trucking through this is because I know she’ll return all this with free services in the long run. How do I handle this entire situation? I don’t actually want to keep this kind of contact with her after June. I already have bad experiences and a fear of being used as a trauma dump and I get really anxious thinking about having to keep this up. I kind of wish I never walked into that bathroom.

[Visually detailed version of the story below for those that would prefer to watch] https://youtu.be/IMftmJWOITg
[References for the writeup for those that want to learn more] https://docs.google.com/document/d/1ZJ7TC8pysunEF6KneY49Ci6TCi2EzBoWFI3M09TRQwA/edit?usp=sharing
This story is one of the creepiest true stories I've ever heard, it's a story that makes you wonder about what people's true intentions really are. Most of us have at least one person in our lives that we feel we can trust with anything and everything, but no matter how much you trust somebody, you never really know what's actually going on inside their head, do the words they tell you really match the thoughts that they're having behind them. No matter how much you trust somebody, you never really know what they might be thinking, or what they might be doing in their spare time.
Our story today starts off in December of 1986, in a small town in Massachusetts.
Frank Bowen lived together with his two young daughters, Tina(15), and Karen(9).
Recently they had just lost their mother to cancer, and it was a very hard time for everybody.
To make matters worse the household was now only under one income, so Frank started to work more and more hours just to make sure they could still get by.
Because of this, he began leaving the girls home alone more often than usual.
One evening, while Frank was working, Tina and Karen would be at home continuing to find ways to cope with the loss of their mother.
That night they attempted to find further closure, their way of doing this was by bringing out a Ouija Board and conducting a seance, hoping that in doing so they would be able to speak with their mother one last time.
They tried for many hours, but sadly nothing was happening, the idea seemed like it was turning into a dead end.
Eventually, feeling tired, emotionally drained, and hopeless, they decided to give up and head to their bedrooms to get some rest.
Some hours would pass until the 2 girls would be woken up by a startling sound.
They sat upright, listening closely... It sounded like a quiet tapping sound, but where was it coming from?
Staying quiet and listening even closer, they waited, trying to figure out what was happening.
They couldn't pinpoint exactly where it was coming from, but it sounded like it was coming from inside the walls... and as they listened the knocking would only grow louder.
Both of them came to the realization that the seance must have actually worked, they thought to themselves their mother must have actually heard them.
When their father Frank would later come home they would tell him all about the experience.
He didn't believe them and brushed it off entirely, the intense stress from their loss must have been taking it's toll, playing mean tricks on their imaginations in an attempt to find peace.
Concerned he told his daughters that if this were to continue, he would be taking them all for counselling.
He wished for his daughter's peace of mind, it was all too much, and he wished for their family's troubles just to discontinue... Unfortunately, continue it did.
Night after night, again and again the girls would be awoken by the same unnerving knocking sounds that they heard before. Each time they would scream for their father, but every single time he would arrive the sounds would come to a halt. He opened the door, he listened... Silence was all that he could hear. His concern for them would only increase.
Over the next few weeks, things would only seem to escalate as the events they experienced became stranger and stranger. The knocking became more consistent, it was to the point that it was ruining the girls sleep, it was driving them insane... Though, that wasn't the only thing that was happening.
Their possessions began to... disappear... somehow... misplace themselves.
Items that they were certain were in different places the day prior, would be found thrown across the floor or moved to a different location. They would come home to find furniture moved to the other side of the room, seemingly all on it's own.
They were all experiencing the same thing together, but their father Frank wasn't buying it.
His daughters insisted that they had nothing to do with it and that it must be a ghost, but he couldn't get himself to believe such a ridiculous idea.
He truly believed his daughters were under such emotional distress, that they must be the culprits for all of this.
The knocking would continue into the new year, but on one January evening, something was different.
It didn't sound like the knocking was coming from the walls this time... it sounded like it was coming from the basement.
Terrified but curious, they grabbed a kitchen knife and shakily made their way down to the depths of their home. When they got to the bottom, the noise had ceased. They froze as they saw something that they knew wasn't supposed to be there.
On the basement wall, written in dark red, was a message they wished they never saw: "I'm in your room. Come and find me".
Horrified they ran out of the house as quickly as possible, making their way to their neighbors to tell them what happened.
When their father arrived they explained to him what happened, but again he just thought that they were doing this as a failed way of coping, the stress manipulating their minds into doing crazy things.
Following this he would send them for counselling, but things only continue to get worse.
Many weeks later the girls would hear even more knocking... this time the sound emanating from behind Tina's bedroom wall. Upon entering Tina's room they were met with another horribly red message sprawled across the walls: "I'm back. Find me if you can".
Fearful for their lives they went over to a neighbor's house once more, calling their father to come home.
When he got home this time he was furious, still blaming his daughters for all of this he stormed inside to prove that there was nobody there.
When he got inside, more had happened inside the house than the girls had originally explained.
He started to understand that something else was going on, somebody else must have been in here.
Frank entered Tina's room by himself, and when he did there was an extra message painted across the walls: "Marry me".
He stared at the wall in disbelief as his mind raced, trying to piece together what was happening.
That's when he noticed something... On the other side of the room, a figure stood dressed in the clothing of his now deceased wife. Blonde hair hung down across the figure's shoulders, draping down to the hatchet that was held in it's hand.
Although that part of the story doesn't end there, we're going to need to go back to a time before the knocking began, the family would receive a phone call from a boy named Danny.
Danny would say that he got their number from a friend that went to the same school as them.
The picture Danny would paint of himself was that of a blonde, attractive, fit, and smart boy that lived in the area. It was innocent enough and no alarm bells were raised, after a few phone calls Tina and Danny began to grow closer with each other. He seemed like a nice guy, so one night, they organized for a date.
The day for the date came by and Danny arrived at Tina's doorstep, she excitedly opened the door to greet him but quickly stopped in her tracks. Danny was nothing like he explained...
He wasn't attractive at all, his hair wasn't blonde, it was dark and greasy, and his appearance just looked disorganized. She decided to forget about it and they went out for a bit anyway. It only lasted a little over an hour before she got herself out of there.
During their date the passing of her mother was brought up, and Danny seemed to take an unnaturally high interest in the subject.
Tina would later say that it was like Danny was obsessed with the passing of her mother, questioning her often about how much she had suffered when it happened.
Having a bad feeling about this, naturally Tina didn't go on another date with Danny, she wouldn't pick up another call from him, and that was that... Or so she thought...
Danny was a very psychologically disturbed individual... He had a very bad upbringing. He suffered an extremely traumatic childhood which warped his mind to an unrepairable state at an early age. His father would often abuse him, physically, emotionally, and sexually. He struggled to make friends, he struggled with his grades, and he didn't have proper habits for hygiene. Most people at school thought he was creepy and weird. Concerned with his obviously abnormal behavior, school officials referred him to a psychiatrist... This same psychiatrist would sexually abuse Danny also, for an entire year.
Seemingly everybody he trusted betrayed him.
He turned to crime, and he began spending his evenings breaking into people's homes and stealing from them.
By 15 his behavior got worse, and he wouldn't just break in and steal things anymore, now he would move things around and leave things behind... Misplace things, make people wonder if somebody had been in their house.
He was conducting a psychological game that he enjoyed, he was doing it just to mess with people, but subtly, not so obvious that you were 100% sure of yourself, purposely in a way that he knew you would be questioning yourself, where the only thing you were left with was confusion and uncertainty.
By the age of 17 one of the homes he had broken into belonged to friends of Tina's family... It's speculated that this is how he obtained her phone number to begin with.
Coming back to where left Frank, he's in Tina's room, he just saw a bloody message painted across the walls saying "Marry Me", and on the other side of the room, a figure stood dressed in the clothing of his now deceased wife. Blonde hair hung down across the figure's shoulders, draping down to the hatchet that was held in it's hand.
The figure lunged at him, struggling with him for a few seconds until eventually pushing past him, somehow leaving him unharmed. As Frank turned to lay eyes on his attacker, they were nowhere to be seen... It was as if they had just disappeared into nothingness.
Frank ran to the neighbors as fast as he could and the police were called to the scene, but when they arrived they couldn't find anybody else in the house.
Frank was horrified, he didn't know what to do. For the time being they stayed with relatives while Frank figured out what to do next. 2 days later he would come back to the home to grab a few things, as he arrived, before he got out of the vehicle he noticed the same figure that attacked him was standing in view of the window. Frank began to panic as he called the police once again.
What happened next even scared the officers.
This is a quote from one of the officers that arrived on scene:
"When I opened the door, on the right-hand wall, I saw a knife sticking out of the wall. And I see it's through a picture - a family picture - written on it was 'I'M STILL HERE. COME FIND ME.' Now the hair goes up on the back of my head. On another wall, I saw another picture saying 'I'M GOING TO KILL YOU ALL' with a knife through it." - Officer Bezanson
They searched the house more thoroughly this time. Behind the washer and dryer, they found a piece of wood that was hiding a crawl space that led through the entire house.
Speaking about the state of Danny and Tina. Danny didn't like how his calls were being ignored.
When he was rejected, he broke into her house, happened to stumble across the crawlspace, and for about a month he would torment them while lingering in the walls of their home.
He would knock and tap on the walls, he would listen to them talk, he created peepholes in all of the rooms so he could watch them whenever he wanted. Those red messages? He was using ketchup to make it look like blood just so he'd get inside their heads. That figure that charged at Frank wearing his deceased wife's clothes? That was Danny, he dressed himself up, put makeup on and a blonde wig, attempting to look like their mother. Whether he was doing that to actually convince the children that he was their mother's spirit, or if he was just trying to scare them is unknown.
The very last time the police were called where they found the crawlspace, they would find Danny curled up inside.
He would be charged with armed assault, sent to a juvenile detention facility for the next 10 months, and be released through a $10 000 bail in October 1987. This decision would ultimately lead to the death of 3 people in the near future.
Andrew and Priscilla Gustafson were a young couple who had been living in the small city for the past 5 years. They lived there with their two children Abigail(7), and William(5)... and she was currently pregnant awaiting another child.
They lived roughly half a mile from where Danny lived.
Not even a month after Danny was released he would break in and steal items from their home just like he did to many others. He would continue to do this to several homes in the area in the following weeks.
On December 1st, Danny would return to the home while everybody was gone.
Andrew was at work, Abigail was at school, and Priscilla was out to pickup William.
The last time Priscilla was seen alive was around 1:00 Pm when she was picking up William from the babysitter.
Danny heard Priscilla enter the home, and instead of leaving like he usually would, he took her to the bedroom, locked William in a closet, then proceeded to sexually assault her, until he decided to shoot her twice in the head. He obtained the weapon from a neighbors home that he robbed earlier.
Then he took William out of the closet, drowning him in the upstairs bathtub, and went to leave like nothing happened. Before he left Abigail returned home from school, so naturally being the horrifying monster he is, he drowned her in the downstairs bathroom before leaving.
Around 5:30 is when Andrew Gustafson would return home, and he would find the gruesome bloody leftovers of what had transpired in the main bedroom. He called the police before searching anywhere else.
Andrew would later say:
"I was too afraid of going to look for my children because I was afraid I’d find them dead... It was so shocking and unbelievable. I screamed. I wailed.”
Officers had a feeling that Danny had something to do with it from the very start.
A police lieutenant was on the search for Danny, a resident of the area he was in felt like something was wrong so she went up to him and asked him if he would be with her as they walked into her home.
She would later say:
"I drove into the driveway and into the garage. I immediately drove back out and sit in the driveway feeling extremely uncomfortable,"
When they entered the home, Danny was there... He jumped out of one of the windows and got away as he ran into the forest.
Danny would later force a resident of a different nearby street into her car, but he would escape again after the resident had jumped from the vehicle.
Later that evening and 48 hours after the search began they would finally find him hiding in a dumpster nearby.
Hair from Abigail was found on his sock, sealing his fate in relation to the murders.
Upon hearing about what had happened, Frank Bowen would say:
"If Daniel LaPlante does not get convicted and gets out again, I will personally kill him."
"You can't imagine what kind of fear we have been living in. He is mentally insane. There is no question about it,"
"And now, I am financially broke and emotionally disturbed and trying to put my life together again."
In 1988 Daniel LaPlante was found guilty of all three murders and sentenced to 3 life sentences, with the possibility of parole after 45 years.

Heavy on the spoilers and devoid of all brevity, but if I do not get this off my chest I will lose my mind. I’ve been on a Shatter Me high all week. The first three books have altered my brain chemistry. I have said the words “Aaron Warner, the man you are” so many times I am beginning to question my sanity. I cracked open Restore Me last night, fully prepared to trust-fall into the arms of my #1 Fictional Boyfriend of all time.
So, um, what the fuck was that?
Look, I can forgive messy plotlines and overwriting, I can ignore ill-planned and lazily-executed rebel coups. I can even appreciate the absurd surplus of metaphors and similes crammed in between strings of dialogue, if for no reason other than comedic value.
What I can’t get behind is Book 4 Aaron Warner.
Seriously, who is this guy? Because I’ve gone through the five stages of grief, turned around and reread the entire book in frank disbelief, and the only conclusion I can possibly come to is that I’ve somehow picked up an imposter, written in very bad faith. When Adam Kent did a 180 in Ignite Me and went from “gentle, pathetic childhood crush who can suffer through Juliette’s touch in some small capacity” to “bitter, controlling ex-boyfriend driven mad with jealousy,” we all understood this to be much-needed fan service. Juliette was, after all, being an idiot; she needed a little push, to realize that Aaron Warner was the undisputed crown jewel. Most of us came to this conclusion two and a half books ahead of her, but better late than never. I walked away from Ignite Me feeling content. The power couple has been established. Anderson is dead. Juliette’s rise to Supreme Commander was satisfying, if a bit hasty. I went into Restore Me confident that, with Aaron at her side, Juliette could achieve anything.
The transition was…jarring, to say the least.

“The Reestablishment does not allow time for people to grieve.” - Book 3 Aaron.

(Alas, this is Book 4, and *insert obligatory Bob Dylan joke*)
The Times, They Are a’ Changin’
Anyway, what I’m getting at here is that Aaron is grieving, he is mourning, he is SAD. This is totally understandable, both to me as a reader and to Juliette as a character. It appears to be the guiding factor behind his new penchant for stonewalling and emotional blackmail. Before diving into THAT can of worms, I’d like to add a couple of bullets to my list of “Miscellaneous What-and-Why-the-Fucks:”

• Why does Juliette have zero advisors? Where is her council? Her attendants? Her scribe? Her translator? Her GUARDS?
• What, exactly, is Kenji’s job? She refers to him as her “second-in-command,” and while I adore his character, I can’t help but feel that lending snarky input does very little in the way of running a tight ship. Why is she entirely on her own?

Moving on.
A TIMELINE OF SHITTY EVENTS, IN WHICH I HANG UP MY ‘ADAM KENT’S #1 HATER’ JACKET AND SHRUG ON MY ‘AARON WARNER SUCKS’ VEST:

• Juliette is trying to make peace between two unruly schoolboys who refuse to get along at the playground. Sorry, Juliette is trying to make peace between two grown men, both of whom appear, in some capacity, involved in the running of North America. This is going “Not Very Well,” if Aaron’s botched haircut is any indication. Fortunately, he comes to terms with his Slim Shady Era, and while he’s clearly going through some things, I could roll with the punches and learn to love the buzz cut, if only he didn’t IMMEDIATELY TURN INTO THE JOKER AFTER THIS.
• Aaron knows better than anyone else about the role and responsibilities of a Supreme Commander. Still yet, he appears completely uninvolved in Juliette’s day-to-day regimen. He makes zero effort to inform her about details that might save her from needless embarrassment. Her fuck-ups seem imminent. Perhaps this is why he has no inclination to avoid them, nor lessen their impact on her pride or public image. Slim Shady is a lone wolf. He has completely forgotten that whole “I’ve told you from the start, we would make an excellent team” spiel. North America is a One-Woman (De?)establishment. Kenji appears to play the role of court jester, though he lends emotional support when necessary–and always with more empathy and forethought than Regent Warner, who, I might remind you, has the power of READING ENERGIES (“hers, especially”).
• Enter Delalieu, to inform Juliette her quarters are overflowing with unanswered mail, and worry that this may reflect poorly upon her as a new leader, to which she’s like “I have quarters?” This revelation comes on the heels of Castle’s memo that “all of her correspondence is being monitored.” I suspect somehow this is Castle’s fault, which brings me to my follow-up point.
• In Book 4, Castle becomes less of an incompetent hippie and more of a prick to Juliette. He terrorizes her with cryptic warnings, but refuses to divulge any information he may have about Warner’s past, which–given her new status–seems like it ought to be grounds for some sort of official noncompliance. He also had her reach out to the other supreme commanders “as an experiment.” It was at this point I decided I wasn’t a fan of how everyone kept undermining or making a mockery of Juliette at every turn. I couldn’t help but notice how Castle’s comments to Aaron about her went entirely unchecked. I am reminded, if you will, of that scene in Shatter Me, when Aaron staged a big spectacle in which a soldier was killed, to ensure his men knew not to fuck with Juliette. He seems to have forgotten this virtue, in Book 4.
• Despite being warned that Ibriham’s children are en route, Aaron lets a conversation with Kent take precedence over informing Juliette what to expect, how to dress, what to say, etc. Castle also informs him once Haider arrives. Juliette chooses to meet Haider without waiting for Aaron, but he should have been there regardless. He can FEEL her energy, he doesn’t need her to say it out loud to realize she’s insecure and needs him to be there, and she wouldn’t BE insecure about so much shit if he would step in and stop allowing everyone to make her the butt of every joke!!! Where’s that supportive boyfriend act you roped us all in with, buddy? Also, literally neither she nor Kenji know jack shit about politics, why would he let them walk into a meeting with the children of foreign leaders entirely blind?
• Speaking of the meeting with Haider, Aaron has a closet full of clothes organized by color and shade; yet he didn’t think to help Juliette pick out a new wardrobe for her designation as Supreme Commander? He literally chose her entire last wardrobe, and look, I get it, they’re busy with war things and his evil dad is dead and that’s sad and all, but don’t introduce us to a standard you can’t maintain! She goes to meet this snotty rich boy in BLUE JEANS AND A PINK SWEATER. Kenji “cringes” at her. This was so humiliating I literally felt my face getting hot when I read it.
• Again, Castle specifically *told* Aaron when Haider arrived, but when he and Juliette discuss it later, he turns it around on her to justify why he didn’t show up to support her!

“You didn’t tell me he’d arrived earlier. I wish I could’ve been there to assist somehow.”
Like, are you fucking kidding me? Again, he can FEEL her energy; he is well aware that she spent that meeting getting humiliated, and still decides to make his absence a product of her incompetence. Like, his entire pep talk after this left me filled with visceral rage.

• Allow me to share this absolutely infuriating passage in Aaron’s POV:

“She [Nazeera] has the same long legs and lean frame as her brother, and she carries herself with great pride, like someone who was born into position and privilege. She wears a gray tunic cut from fine, heavy fabric; skintight leather pants; heavy boots; and a set of glittering gold knuckles on both hands.
And I’m not the only one staring.
Juliette, who’s been watching quietly this whole time, is looking up, amazed. I can practically see her thought process as she suddenly stiffens, glances down at her own outfit, and crosses her arms over her chest as if to hide her pink sweater from view. She’s tugging at her sleeves as though she might tear them off.
It’s so adorable I almost kiss her right then.”

Are you fucking SERIOUS? So she is here, dying of embarrassment, already feeling inferior because she’s comically underdressed and only speaks one language, and his response is to GAWK AT A HOT GIRL IN FRONT OF HER AND INFANTILIZE HER IN HIS INNER MONOLOGUE. “I’m not the only one staring” ???? Be so for real right now, like I am lost for words!

• Aaron is “fairly certain” and generally insistent that Castle’s suspicions will prove false. Like, why would Castle just be pulling random hunches like this out of his ass? When I read it, I was like, “Hmm, kinda sounds like Aaron is just rationalizing why he isn’t going to tell Juliette any of this.” Spoiler alert: I was right.
• Aaron sits in silence and watches Juliette flounder helplessly while trying to explain to Haider how she only sort of knows what the “Continental Symposium” is.* OH YEAH, DID I MENTION IT IS ALSO TWO DAYS AWAY? Like, Aaron clearly knows this is a big deal, it appears to be a tradition of sorts. Why is he once again letting his girlfriend be humiliated and condescended by their guests? He also *CRINGES,* he CRINGES at her for not knowing about it. Like, at this point I am beginning to greatly resent this man.
• He also doesn’t defend Juliette when Haider calls her “some idiot psychotic girl” TO HIS FACE. RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER. Actually, SHE steps in and defends HIM. I wish she hadn’t. After this, in his inner monologue, Aaron is like, “I wonder if she knows I would do anything for her.” FUCKING DO SOMETHING WARNER, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.
• Juliette peeks in on Aaron in his office, finds him listening to old vinyl, discovers he likes Bob Dylan. ME TOO, BUDDY, I’ve seen him live. Might I suggest a little less “Like a Rolling Stone” and a little more “Just Like a Woman,” “Tangled Up in Blue,” “Lay Lady Lay,” ‘COZ I AM BEGINNING TO HATE YOUR ASS FOR THE WAY YOU ARE TREATING JULIETTE!
• Again, Aaron is fully aware of Castle’s warnings that people are coming for Juliette. WHY is she walking unarmed and unguarded on the beach at night? That’s right, because he ran off with Haider to count gold coins or suck each other off or something, leaving her to be sad and alone and not on the lookout for danger. Once again, he fails to come through and keep her safe, and she gets hit with some kind of bullet or dart or something.
• AGAIN, why is Castle allowed to stand here and disrespect Juliette right to Warner’s face, invalidate her and tell him how HE should have been the one who became Supreme Commander? Like, she already has zero support around her whatsoever and this rat is allowed to talk shit about all the things she does and doesn’t know, what she gets told, and potentially also her MAIL. Why hasn’t Warner killed this fucker yet? Warner, ARE YOU STILL IN THERE?
• Remember when Aaron was clever? Yeah, me too. He seems to have abandoned that trait in Book 4. Things like “taking basic precaution” no longer hold any precedence. He and Juliette have, however, found the time to fuck twice, despite having no time or opportunity for all the critical conversations they’re not having that could have redeemed Aaron Warner in my heart and mind. P R I O R I T I E S.
• *slams the back of his head against the wall in frustration* I actually had an ex who did this once when I caught him cheating. It is not something intelligent people do, in my experience. I am beginning to hate Aaron the way I hated Adam. Side note, I still hate Adam. Glad he kind of disappears after the first couple of chapters.
• Great, Juliette is now hallucinating from poison bullets. Good thing Aaron is there to…look really scared and terrify her even more. Moral support? Don’t know him! Just…staring fearfully, jumping in to prevent her from going outside. Maybe a pat on the head or something would help…no? Okay then.
• At this point he decides it’s time to fess up. He couldn’t have chosen a worse time, by the way. Juliette asks if it’s okay if she washes the blood and sand off first (she was just attacked on the beach, remember?). She is clearly still sick and “hallucinating” (seeing the bright white lights outside of her window, the way people do right before they die). Maybe he could…I don’t know…HELP HER? Run her bathwater? Help her clean up? Yeah no, he just nods. She can do all that by herself, just like everything around here. Juliette, girl, if you don’t kick this deadbeat to the curb I’m gonna SCREAM. P.S.: WHO IS THIS MAN? THIS IS NOT THE AARON WARNER I KNOW. Remember how he remembered to bring gloves and a coat for her before he dropped her off at Omega Point? They weren’t even dating yet. How hard did he slam his head into the wall? Maybe he should keep going. Maybe he would like a little help? I’m not busy at all rn.
• See the thing is, now Aaron has to do a big fess up about Juliette’s life. He’s obviously lied and withheld some vital information, but more importantly he spent a couple of years torturing a sister she doesn’t know about yet. And while I realize he didn’t have any CHOICE in this particular matter, I also loathe him at this point for a ton of other shit he’s done leading up to this, so it’s really hard to feel sorry for him when–REALLY THEY FIND TIME TO FUCK AGAIN AT THIS POINT? SOMETHING IS FUCKING WRONG WITH THESE TWO. I can’t help but notice she’s “crawled on top of him” both times now. Guess she’s doing all the work in the sack, as well. Remember that “flip over on your stomach” line from Ignite Me? That guy is dead now. This dude blows and I hate him. Separate LOL at “onto to the floor.” That’s really in there. You can check.
• So the only time these two can communicate is during coitus. Cool. Maybe instead of reminding each other of their mutual love, they could reinforce their bond with something like…confessional hour? Maybe Aaron could use his energy to feel her energy and figure out something safe to say, that isn’t super fucked up and wrong. Spoiler alert: he doesn’t.
• CONFESSION TIME! She starts crying when he gets to the “Reestablishment is coming for you, they’re coming to take you back” part. This is pretty reasonable, but he doesn’t pause to reassure her about it before he’s like, “Oh yeah and about your SISTER–” At this point she actually asks him to stop, probably so she can digest some of this horrifying information, but he says, and I quote, “No.” I really feel like he could have paused for a few minutes to let her process, maybe find some solid ground to stand on(since the man whose lap she is sitting in is a spineless moron and awful boyfriend, and thus not at all likely to be of any assistance).
• Juliette panics. Again, this is not entirely unjustified. Aaron speaks seven languages, none of which are “reassurance,” or “comfort,” and so when she actually gets up and runs away he just…accepts it. I want a refund. I want the first three books to apologize for love-bombing me. I made this man my #1 book boyfriend of all time. THIS Aaron Warner…this man is a fraud and I hate him. She should honestly just hook up with Kenji. At least he still calls her princess. Has Aaron called her love even once in this book? It’s possible I missed it, over the sound of his ceaseless letdowns from Chapter One onward.
• Aaron has a panic attack. Luckily his nemesis Kenji is there to comfort him. Why is no one worried about Juliette? While we are all crying over Warner’s psychosomatic breakdown, she is hysterical, hallucinating poison, has a voice in her head, and is being hunted by some kind of evil bureaucrats and possibly her own parents.
• Allow me to share yet another passage that made blink in disbelief:

He [Kenji] shakes his head. “You just can’t, man. You can’t be with someone and keep that many secrets from them.”
“It’s never stopped me before.”

At this point, Mafi, I already hate him. You did not need to include this passage, at all.

• **PARAPHRASING** Kenji’s like, “Hey man, you’re kind of being shitty to your girlfriend by not telling her about things like all your exes.” Aaron is like, “Well, I wouldn’t have ever done anything to hurt her (barring all those things I did to hurt her), but since I already lost her, who cares? Water under the bridge!” To which Kenji reminds him that ‘water under the bridge’ means Juliette can go out and fuck someone else, and Aaron doesn’t like the idea of that, so he decides he probably wants to fix things, after all.
• Aaron: “You couldn’t have called, Lieutenant? Isn’t that what our phones are for?”

Nothing significant here, although it is news to me that they have phones. When did they get phones?
Anyway, turns out Delalieu tried to call him, but Warner disconnected his phone. Can we like, demote this guy or something? This guy SUCKS.

• Juliette chooses the moron’s escape route (blind sprint into the open night), and gets snatched up by Jazeera (who can fly). This is the first time Jazeera has shared said secret with anyone, which she confides when they land in a tree. It’s a really great time for these two to kiss, and it’s only fair. After all, Warner never had any friends, so this childhood friend of Warner’s technically doesn’t count. Juliette lets Aaron block her blessings once again, but Jazeera is nonetheless more emotional support than Kenji and Aaron put together. You know, I usually read fantasy to ESCAPE the disappointing reality of Men. This book is reminding me they manage to infiltrate even sacred spaces like fiction. Jazeera is sucking on a hard candy, and I’M turned on, but Juliette is sad, so I’ll be quiet.
• Jazeera tells Juliette that Warner isn’t a bad person. Unfortunately, I must disagree. She’s still hot so I’m still listening.
• Lena Mishken? Yeah, no, never heard of her, but once again thank the gods for Jazeera, who spills the tea. It is…entirely embarrassing that since-revoked #1 fictional boyfriend Aaron Warner would let this information have to come to his girlfriend through a near stranger’s gossip, but turns out Lena is Aaron’s EX-GIRLFRIEND. I wonder how he could forget to mention a thing like that. Maybe Good Guy Aaron Warner didn’t anticipate she would still be part of the global, troubled teen Brady Bunch they’ve all been part of since they were kids, who are all apparently coming to visit. I’m not sure why he didn’t anticipate this, and I’m also not sure why all these people are showing up for this “Continental Symposium.” Symposiums typically involve presentations of some sort, that is the extent of my knowledge. I am sure if that was the case here, Warner would conveniently forget to remind his girlfriend about it. I am truly convinced at this point he gets off on humiliating her, so he’ll really enjoy making her walk on stage unprepared for something like this. I personally preferred when he was firmly ddlg/cgl coded in books 1-3. Uhhh, I would have appreciated a tw for this kind of content rebranding, but no matter.
• Did I mention Lena and Aaron were together for TWO YEARS?
• Did I mention Lena and Aaron only broke up EIGHT MONTHS AGO?
• Did I mention the Reestablishment is planning to destroy Sector 45?
• Also Lena is Russian. That seemed arbitrary, unless we are just supposed to know she’s extra hot or something. I don’t think Juliette needed any more tearing down, actually, but duly noted!
• Lena shows up outside of Warner’s room. Let me include this tiny snippet from his POV:

“Open the door, asshole.”
“You never did hold back with the flattery.”

Okay, this second line is what I would consider ‘flirting’ and I don’t like that. Good thing I decided I cannot stand this man like, twenty chapters ago, so at least this isn’t anything unexpected by now. This character is utterly irredeemable to me, and I wish I could act like I didn’t cry about it, but I can’t. I am devastated by the character assassination that took place in this book.

• Next up, Lena is attacking him because he broke up with her through a letter to his mom. Nothing surprises me at this point. Also, there is this:

She’s still thrashing against me, landing several kicks at my shins when I finally manage to gentle her arms and pull her close.

Suddenly, she stills.
My lips are at her ear when I say her name once, very gently.

This is an...awfully intimate way to subdue your ex-girlfriend. This would end any relationship in its tracks, for me. Also Kenji is here watching this all happen. He will not say a word to Juliette about it, if my guess is correct.
Why…did the author do this? I am literally sick to my stomach. This is worse than never getting a fourth book. I am really so hurt.

• Juliette has gone 2009 Britney and shaved her head. I really cannot take anymore humiliation of this protagonist who spent two and a half books learning how to make eye contact with other human beings and is now being torn down and betrayed by every single person she has ever cared about.
• For some reason Kenji and Warner walk in at this point. She is obviously wrecked and in her underwear, with a half shaven head. It’s nice to confirm that Kenji has sided with Warner in the breakup. This is the most debasing experience for me. Like I was really here for the found family and learning how to trust in love tropes. I wish I had never opened this one, to be quite honest.
• Warner talks to Juliette like she is a small, crippled animal (she is, essentially, and I would call this at least 75% his fault, but moving on). She is pathetic and drunk and we’ve all been there and I do not want to listen to her idolize her piece of shit boyfriend she broke up with but will get back with in the morning. She begs him to stay and hold her and he obviously can’t do that and still play the victim so he goes to the living room. I am honestly sick to my stomach.
• Warner has some “woe-is-me” inner monologue that I skim because I hate him with a burning passion at this point.
• Juliette wakes up and is, predictably humiliated. Now she has to go in front of all these terrible rich snobby assholes after manic shaving her head bald the night before. The author attempts to turn it into a big empowering moment, but this simply is not realistic as the author has just spent the entirety of the book tearing down and crippling every shred of confidence this girl gained over the course of the first three books.
• Lena is transphobic. That is an odd detail. Moving on.
• Warner tells Juliette he likes her hair. She asks him why he didn’t mention Lena. He tells her it “wasn’t a real relationship.” He tells her it was “purely physical.” The only explanation at this point is that the author did not want to write another book, but then she continued o write books after this so…I have no idea why she destroyed this man’s character so meticulously. I am honestly at a loss for words.
• Juliette is reasonably upset about this, and Warner launches into explanations and excuses for why he doesn’t think before he speaks or consider her feelings the way he did when he was trying to steal her away from Adam. Like, at this point it is safe to say Adam Kent was telling the truth, despite the fact that he also sucks very hard.
• He’s like “blah blah before you I never wanted to get close to anyone.” Well you clearly had no problem getting CLOSE to her, but you also refuse to be emotionally vulnerable with Juliette, so all of this is useless rabble and he is just a narcissist trying to win back a girl who will probably forgive him at the end of the day, to her own undoing. He says some lies and then ends with, “Give me another chance. Please. I swear on my life I won’t disappoint you.” Yes, yes, this is what they always say. If you keep refusing he’ll promise to go to therapy, too, Juliette, this is a universal experience and not the one any of us wanted when we cracked open this book. He kisses her after that and it’s special because it’s in front of all these people he’s been humiliating her in front of for like however many days it’s been now.
• After their kiss, Juliette runs away for…I don’t know. Theater?
• Castle shows up and pretends to be a father figure to Aaron, for some reason. I don’t like him so I don’t care to elaborate.
• Juliette stands at a podium and gives a speech about what she wants to make better in the world and nobody wants that so a bunch of people in the crowd advance on her and she gets shot in the forehead but she’s invincible somehow. Once the first bullet doesn’t do anything they all start shooting. It’s okay because she screams and kills 554 people, which may or may not have been real, I’m not really following at this point. She runs through all her old friends, most of whom she’s just killed, and then a couple greet her and tell her they’re her parents and they’ve come to take her home.
• Warner’s POV is blank. He’s probably still alive. Who cares? He’s ruined either way.
• Juliette wakes up in a child’s bedroom. Spoiler alert: it’s hers. She starts snooping and finds a letter from Warner’s dad about how they’ve found a suitable family for her (she is obviously the “her”). She finds photos of her and her sister before school, then photos of her, her sister, and Nazeera. Oh yeah, then she finds a photo of her and Aaron together as kids. Her real name is Ella.

This is all good and fine, the plot twist was even cool. But there is literally no salvaging what was done to Aaron Warner’s character or his relationship with Juliette in this book. Like, what was the point? I literally have cried way too many times about this and I thought reading it a second time would convince me I am being dramatic or embellishing the level of betrayal I feel but no, like, I am certain this was devastating.

I got my hands on the Limited Edition bundle today and played through the game up to Chapter 1.
Here's a bunch of information I gathered up to then about the game, gathered from the artbook and from the story in Chapter 1. Spoilers for chapter 1 will be in this post, along with commentary from Tsunako about the characters from the artbook and other noteworthy information I could gather from it.
I will start with the artbook because I read it first.

• On the opening page is "What is Neptunia?" with a quick rundown of the series and its history. They are aware they have "countless spinoffs".
  
• Next is a page with the cover art of EVERY Neptunia title to date... 21 in all. That's a pretty amazing number, the series has really come so far in 14 years.
  
• The next section introduces the cast of the game, starting with Big Nep, who is referred to as "Older Neptune" officially.
  

(The information about the characters in the artbook is the same as on the website, so you can read them up there if you want to see it for yourself.)

• Tsunako comment on Big Nep: she's speechless (in a good way) that a side character she make in a 4koma is now a fully realized protagonist.
  
• The "Failure Goddesses" trio all have white hair, this is "due to their recent lifelessness". In other words, they are really stressed and their hair is turning gray. This is harder to see for Reedio whose hair is entirely white right now. Apparently she uses to have different colored tips in her hair, but those have now turned white.
  
• Pippih's hair is meant to look like the two halves of a brain. Tsunako says she is supposed to look like she is smug [about her intelligence] but really is smart. Her HDD form has an angel motif because she can always be called upon [for help].
  
• The marks in Jagaa's hair and clothes are supposed to be claw marks. At first glance her HDD form appears to have been designed with censorship in mind, but the tomboy butler look she has works pretty well. The same can't be said for Reedio's HDD form, it has the same kind of covering that was given to ReVerse's cover art.
  
• "Hey! I know this is a spinoff, but we still hafta worry about the ratings!" -Neptune (OG version).
  

This is the quote under Neptune's entry in the artbook. It is NOT the same quote used on the website. So, Neptune is basically breaking the 4th wall and speaking for IF/CH here in regards to how seriously they're taking this game, which is a really funny and creative way to do this.

• The word "Maker" in this dimension is kind of funny. Normally in the series they are "personifications of video-game companies". In this game, they literally ARE video-game companies. Whenever someone says "Maker", the word is basically being used in place of the word "company".
  
• Neptune (OG) is described as the first of the "First Makers".
  
• Noire's latest console has been well received, but suffers from rampant scalping.
  
• Blanc's games are described as "pure and genuine".
  
• Vert's too focused playing Lowee and Lastation's consoles to worry on her own. She does this with the pretense of "studying the competition". She is described as carrying a "legendary legacy".
  
• The CPU Candidates are in this game, and they operate their own game dev companies separately form their sisters. This is music to my ears, because this means they'll probably be able to shine on their own in this game. They are known as the "Second Sisters" and develop games for handhelds.
  
• Nepgear runs Planepgear, and is struggling with bootleg games flooding the market.
  
• Uni runs Lastanita which makes her an honorary latina and people have been waiting for her to release her next piece of hardware for a long time. She has become depressed because her console's sales have been slow. "I can't this this anymore... why can't I be like my sister?" Honestly, this is pretty sad.
  
• Rom and Ram co-lead Dualsmall (funniest thing I've read in a while, ngl), and they're pissed that people keep stealing their games' assets. Ram is reaching her boiling point. Rom's quote is "interrogate, cross-exame, brutalize...!", bringing back the "sadist Rom" we all know and love from the manga.
  
• On Croire's entry, Tsunako notes that she actually gave herself more work on purpose in redrawing Croire, because she just really has fun drawing her.
  
• F-Sha talks like a Final Fantasy XIV character, she always seems to have her right eye closed.
  
• B-Sha's hobbies include "making serious bank". On a completely unrelated note, Presto Mask is also supposed to be in this game.
  
• C-Sha still goes around monster hunting. In this dimension, the Gold Third is akin to a (voluntary) police force.
  
• K-Sha engages in stealth missions to take down piracy operations.
  
• S-Sha's entry is actually very interesting. Originally in VII it was revealed that S-Sha lost her body in this movie incident and was saved by E-Sha by sharing her body. In this dimension, she almost died and was saved by the Failure Goddesses, and it says she now holds a grudge against them.
  

Did the Failure Goddesses save S-Sha by fusing her with E-Sha, or is the story simply different in this dimension? This should be an interesting plot point to keep in mind for this game's story.

• The antagonists of this game are the Pirate Makers, who are working under... you guessed it... Arfoire. They have pirate hats.
  
• Copy the Hard is supposed to look like a bunch of consoles thrown together to look like a Megazord. Recognize any of them? This guy makes bootleg hardware.
  
• Copy the Art steals art and slightly alters them for personal use in her own games. Her design is supposed to be based on modern art.
  
• Copy the Code copies the code of successful games and makes a bunch of bootleg versions of those games. Her design is said to have been the hardest one to get work on.
  

Together, they are "Ar Co." She is genuinely trying to be a bad guy, but because she is in a Neptunia game, she's more comedic than menacing.

• The artbook includes two bizarre monster designs one called "Psychostock" and the other called "Psyfoire". The latter may be a new Arfoire transformation.

Now, for the game itself. The opening is on the higher end of quality. I would even say it may be at the very least one of the top 3 Neptunia openings in terms of production value.
The game's new music tracks have a very aggressively retro feel to them, a little more than usual. I don't know, maybe it's just been a while for me, but some of the tracks have portions that sound like they would fit right into the pixel-era like nothing. These aren't bad, by the way, they simply stand out a lot from the soundtrack we're used to.
I played the game with the English dub on the Switch. All the important scenes are dubbed, as is the standard for the English dubs of Neptunia. The Live2D is insanely good.
Now for the game's performance during dungeons.
It's not 60fps, and really, I don't really care about that and don't really expect it on consoles anyway (ESPECIALLY not the Switch). The game performs well while running around the now MASSIVE dungeons that are here to stay in these games. That being said, this brings up a QoL issue. Your default running speed feels really slow, and you only start to actually run at a decent speed after running in one direction for about two or three seconds. I wish I could manually sprint by pressing down the joystick like other games do.
I am sad to say that Big Nep does not say "like a Kangaroo" while jumping. The camera also doesn't let to see pantsu (though I'm not sure if this is simply because of Big Nep's height or the camera's actual limits). This is, of course, a reference to George Orwell's novel, 1984.
The combat is very, very fast paced. Whenever an enemy dies the game stops and shows you which enemy is defeated for a second before resuming the battle. This actually flows really well, but it may take some getting used to. You can NOT animation cancel your way out of an attack and into a block like in other action games however, so keep this in mind when you play. Chain combos and switching control of party members feel very fluid and can feel a bit overwhelmed if you start doing it so often.
Also of note about the combat, there is not limit to how many times you can attack with one character in this game, like in SvS. You can just sit on one character the whole match and be able to attack the entire time (that would be really boring to do though). At the very least, the game isn't FORCING you to switch who you're controlling this time.
The combat victory screen has been entirely stripped down, any items, stats, abilities learned, items obtained, etc. are now relegated to being text on the bottom right of the screen. This is because your whole party is shown during the victory screen now, instead of how it would only show the party member who struck the killing blow.
I'm not going to lie, the victory screen is actually where the game's performance is at its worst. The way it's set is is that your whole party is standing together with the person who performed the last blow doing their little victory animation in the front. The speed of this animation is completely janky and I could only really describe it as suddenly slamming your foot into the breaks while driving at top speed. The animation is REALLY fast then suddenly slows down to normal speed at the end. They probably intended for the victory screen to last longer but had to change it at some point and just sped up the animation like this to make up for it. It does not look good. I do not know if this is a Switch issue or not, so if someone has the game on PS4 or PS5, let us know.
I will end this post by talking about the canonicity of this game. To put it simply, this game appears to canonically take place after VII. The Big Nep and Croire in this game are the same ones we've met before. People have floated around the idea for a game before where Big Nep would go to different dimensions on an adventure. This is that game. The scope isn't enormous, of course, this game seems to be focused on this one dimension rather than being a whole game with a bunch of different dimensions Big Nep travels to, but that scope would've been too big for what is ultimately, a spinoff game.
Yes, this game follows the same trend as its predecessor, Sisters vs Sisters, in being a spinoff that is actually a canon sequel. However, unlike Sisters vs Sisters, this one is not in Hyper Dimension, though this dimension bears more similarities to it than the other dimensions we have seen so far.
It will be interesting to see what CH makes next with this sort of mindset.
TL;DR: Good game, don't skip

Ever since The Church on Ruby Road dropped, the words "Disney" and "Disney Money" have become the ultimate meaningless catch-all for almost every single bit of discussion, reception, reaction, criticism, and speculation around every new episode. Despite Doctor Who being a show produced in-house by Bad Wolf Studios, for the BBC, with an international distribution partnership with Disney+, Tranter and Gardner get essentially no credit in discussions of the production, and there seems to be a widespread assumption that the series budget is now infinite?
There are things we do know about the Disney relationship:

• Disney+ will be the streaming home of all new episodes from 2023 on.
• Disney is putting a lot into Marketing the show in North America; sponsoring the press tours, plastering NYC and LA with billboards, the TARDIS at Downtown Disney in Anaheim, trailers etc.
• Disney will be producing eventual physical releases of the seasons produced for streaming.
• Disney has """"some"""" vaguely defined input on the creative end, per comments from RTD. With "ultimate editorial control" retained by RTD and the Beeb.

So, I put the scare quotes in that last one because it's the vagueness of what exact input the Mouse execs have that's led to all this confusion and bananas speculation. Because we have so little info about what exactly the parameters of the deal are, the fandom has frankly gone a little bit "QAnon" with its assumptions. (Doctor Who fans engaging in wild baseless speculation? Who would have imagined.)
This post is mostly just to (probably fruitlessly) express that I wish we could get a handle on this as a fandom because frankly, to me, it's just getting tiresome that any and all discussion of the series now just runs into the brick wall that is the D-word. Every Doctor Who conversation now basically goes like...
"Doctor Who sucks now that Disney's making it."
"Doctor Who is so much better now that Disney's making it!"
(If a special effect is good) "Wow there's that Disney Money!"
(If a special effect is bad) "How did that happen? You've got Disney Money!"
"Disney probably hates what RTD did there!"
"Disney probably made RTD do that."
To listen to some people, Doctor Who is going to get folded into the MCU, cross over with Star Wars, get a rollercoaster at Disney World/Land/EuroDisney, be included in the next Kingdom Hearts, get a multibillion dollar blockbuster movie deal and its own parade. (YMMV on whether any or all of these things is a good or a bad thing.)
What frustrates me is that there is no basis for any of this other than Vibes. And, just from a personal standpoint, I really love discussing the creative and production aspects of the show. I find it fascinating. And it just feels like the sheer overwhelming blob of the Disney brand has completely subsumed any actual substantive discussion of the series itself. And what's extra frustrating is that this is happening not just in pure fandom spaces, but equally in the quasi-professional arm of the community, the podcasters on Radio Free Skaro and Verity! for instance. Or Kyle Anderson's reviews. Folks who are well-versed in the TV world and should be well-aware that they don't know what they're talking about here.
Anyway. That's my rant. As a final note, ironically, I personally feel like the Disney influence has affected the actual show much less than it has meta-discussion about the show. Doctor Who still feels like Doctor Who, the show about corridors and rubber monster suits. This era has its own distinct flavor, certainly. But it doesn't feel dramatically more removed from the Jodie era than the Jodie era did from the Capaldi era IMO. So all the sound and fury seems barely even justified.

“”Our Missing Hearts” by Celeste Ng is a compelling dystopian novel set in a near-future America where cultural and political repression is the norm. The story revolves around twelve-year-old Bird Gardner, who lives with his father after his mother, a Chinese American poet named Margaret, has disappeared under mysterious circumstances. In a society where children of dissidents are relocated, and anti-Asian sentiment is rampant, Bird embarks on a quest to find his mother, guided by a cryptic letter and fragments of her poetry.”
I did not have strong feelings towards the characters of ‘Our Missing Hearts.’ The author did not hit the nail on the head with the development of these characters. A lot of their development did not add up or was plainly hypocritical in a way that was not meant to be. Many of the plot points surrounding characters such as twelve-year-old Bird were unbelievable. Yes, this is a dystopian piece of fiction, but that just adds to the question of why some of these things were allowed to happen in a world so bad and dangerous. Poorly written character arcs.
The atmosphere of the novel felt like a true classic dystopian book in the vein of Bradbury and Orwell. The world was probably my favorite part of the story. At first, I thought this was set after some big cataclysmic event, but I would describe it more as 2020 on steroids. (If you were there, you will understand.) The author did a great job with the world-building, explaining why things were the way they were in this world that was almost like ours.
The most average part of the book was the writing. You can definitely see that Ng was trying to make this poetic, but it was overall just fine for me. I highlighted about three quotes or paragraphs that I thought were good enough to hang onto.
Now, this plot is extremely fascinating but overall fell flat for me. “Flat” is the word that I would use to describe my reading experience for Our Missing Hearts. It was predictable and, as I stated before, the journey of Bird was pretty much unbelievable. I do think this plot is a good comparison to our world today and how many people view conflicts or protests happening around the world. This book could have had a much greater emotional impact and been more gripping, but sadly, it fell flat.
I did not have strong feelings towards the characters of ‘Our Missing Hearts.’ Poorly written character arcs. The atmosphere of the novel felt like a true classic dystopian book in the vein of Bradbury and Orwell. The author did a great job with the world-building, explaining why things were the way they were in this world that was almost like ours. The most average part of the book was the writing. I highlighted about three quotes or paragraphs that I thought were good enough to hang onto. Now, this plot is extremely fascinating but overall fell flat for me.This book could have had a much greater emotional impact and been more gripping, but sadly, it fell flat. I wish that this story would have had the character work that was involved in ‘Little Fires Everywhere’ by this same author and maybe, just maybe, it would have made the story for me. This was an average read.
3 out of 5 stars.

***ads roll and podcast starts at 1:42
Intro (Timestamp: 1:42) - Rachel: Hello everyone. And welcome back to another episode of Rachel Goes rogue. This is your host Rachel Savannah Leviss. And today we are talking about the reunion part 1. So let’s get into it. I have my producers here asking me some questions so that we can get this conversation started
So even in the teaser that they put out, your name was all over that. There was a whole lot of discussion even about this podcast. And about some of the choices you’ve made not going on this season but yet you’re still be talked about the reunion. Hearing your name being brought up, how did that feel? (Timestamp: 1:54) - Rachel: Kind of expected for my name to brought up. It’s almost like, you kind of have to laugh at it at this point because oh man, they just have an issue with me commenting my experience. When I speak they don’t want me to have a voice. I think we’ve said it before on this podcast. - Rachel: It’s just a little bit hypocritical when the cast is talking about me on this season. And I talk about my experience and name names and they have an issue with it. So it’s just the same old thing. And I think after this season, I don’t think I’ll be a topic of conversation so we’re almost there.
So Lisa specifically was asked if she thought that you would come back this season. And she said, and I quote, all of her actions were so kind of unpredictable. I didn't really know what all of this nonsense on a podcast and her denigrating everyone. It's absolutely ridiculous (Timestamp: 3:14) - Rachel: I think it's absolutely ridiculous that Lisa thinks I'm denigrating everyone. I'm definitely not. If anything, they're denigrating me, talking about me every single week and just painting me in the worst possible light, even though I'm not even there to defend myself. - Rachel: But yeah, I have gone rogue. I'm actually figuring out what is the healthiest option for me. So I've said it before, and I'll say it again, going back to Vanderpump Rules would jeopardize my mental wellbeing. - Rachel: And I, after watching this whole season play out, I'm happy that I didn't go back. I think it would have been really bad for my mental wellbeing. And this is the season that they got to have. - Rachel: And unfortunately, it wasn't that spectacular from my point of view, anyway, my opinion. No, I'm not gonna let myself enter into that arena again and be dogpiled on and be humiliated and harassed and bullied and talk down to the way that I have been in the past for things that were, for smaller things, if that makes sense. - Rachel: And this is like the center, the nucleus of Vanderpump right now. But I think it's also like, if you really wanted me to come back, then show some compassion for the network, support your cast members when they're asking for help. - Rachel: If I was supported in the way that I felt like I deserve to be, then maybe there would have been a world where I did come back, but then I also would have had to ensure that we would have productive conversations and not just like dog piling and gaslighting by Scheana and all that negativity. I guess it's a tough ask. - Rachel: I had an ask and I wasn't met where I wanted to be met, and so I had to walk away.
So Tom was asked if he knew anything about you wanting to come back, and he said that he encouraged you to take time away from everyone, including him, and come to your decision that way. You've kind of talked about how things went down in previous episodes. How did it feel hearing him say that? (Timestamp: 5:39) - Rachel: Oh my gosh, it's infuriating. And I don't mean to smile, but watching him say that is so infuriating because then like a few seconds later, he's calling me a coward. But if you listen to him, like he's constantly contradicting himself in the way that he's putting up this front, like he's being supportive and he wants the best for me and he wants me to like take some space to figure things out for myself. - Rachel: Yet if I do take some space and figure things out for myself, not only am I selfish, but if I choose to not come back, then I'm also a coward. So do you see how infuriating that can be? And how do you handle that? - Rachel: It's like you just have to laugh it off because this person is showing you time and time again the type of person that they are. And I want to believe that he has good intentions and that he could be a supportive person. But deep down, he has ulterior motives and he really just wanted me back because it would make him look better and he would have more support.
So on one hand, you have Tom calling you a coward. On the other hand, you have Lala kind of sticking up for you and saying that she didn't know if she could do what you did last year showing up to the reunion. She says that time heals and had you come back, that you probably would have had a really productive conversation. But then on the other hand, she's like, but I still stand by everything that I said at the reunion last year. So what is your take on what Lala was saying at the reunion and where is your relationship with her today? Because she kind of seems like the only one that's at least had your back in small ways. (Timestamp: 7:10) - Rachel: Yeah, it's very interesting to see how this has played out. And my feelings towards Lala have changed a little bit since we first started recording this podcast. And since the moment that I got that voice memo from her back, you know, months and months ago, last summer. - Rachel: At first, I really thought that she wanted me to come back to the show. And that was the only intention for sending me that voice memo. But as I'm seeing her really connect to the different parts of being in an abusive, narcissistic relationship, there's like a common thread there. - Rachel: And I think she really does get it because she's experienced it firsthand. And it's validating in a way to have that representation on Vanderpump Rules when I'm not there. So hearing her stick up for me once again and just validate that I was very courageous to come back for the reunion last year, it is validating. - Rachel: I think also she walks a fine line between being supportive of me and also like how she said she stands behind what she said last year at the reunion. I think she's also aware that everyone else in the room is anti Rachel. So she's choosing her words carefully, but if you listen to what she actually has to say, you can tell that she's pretty supportive, which is a good feeling.
So where would you say your relationship with her is today? (Timestamp: 9:22) - Rachel: Well, I don't have a relationship with her because I don't text her or call her or reach out to her at all. So we don't have a relationship, but I don't have hard feelings against her. I do think that maybe Lala and I could have a constructive conversation to move forward. - Rachel: I'm not sure that we would hang out and become friends, but I do think we have a common ground for both reality TV and bad past relationships.
And so she kind of was the main one taking a lot of time talking at the reunion. She was interjecting on a lot of places. She even said something really interesting at the end of the episode, where she said the rules of the game regarding filming have changed this season. Do you think everything she's saying during this reunion is genuine, or do you think she's just trying to keep a job? (Timestamp: 9:58) - Rachel: That's a great question. I think a large part of Lala's motivation is to ensure that she does have job security in this entertainment industry.
I just want to know if you find her words genuine. She also does kind of give the energy that she's the only person being really honest in saying what's really in her brain. So it's hard to tell if she is being honest to a fault, or if she is doing these things with an ulterior motive as to like keep the show going or keep a job. So which side do you kind of fall on with that? (Timestamp: 10:34) - Rachel: I think that both can be true. I think that she can be honest to a fault and actually like say what she's thinking because she tends to do that, right? And she also wants to ensure that she has a job longevity with being a cast member on Vanderpump Rules. - Rachel: For Lala, I think she's doing her best to balance reality TV and the producer's needs while she's evolving as a person. It's a lot of pressure, which I understand. I think both things can be true. - Rachel: And I suspect that she'll probably transfer over to the Valley, and I think that would do the Valley well.
She has come out to say that she's not. Says she didn't buy her house in the Valley so she could be on the show. Do you believe that? (Timestamp: 11:45) - Rachel: Okay, that could be true, too. She didn't buy her house in the Valley to be on the show, but that doesn't mean that she's not gonna be on the show. We'll see.
And so Lala does have a moment where, one of the big moments where she really stuck up for you was talking about the grooming. She really clarified to Tom what grooming was, and he kind of rebuts what she says by saying that he was very impressionable when you took off all your clothes and jumped in his pool. (Timestamp: 12:00) - Rachel: Gees. Oh my god. Okay, yeah, that may be true, although I didn't take off all of my clothes. But I'm talking about the moments leading up to that point. There was intention behind the way that Tom really gave me undivided attention to want to know my situation and what was happening in my reality. - Rachel: Things were a little bit blurry, and it was a gradual thing that took place where I started feeling more attracted to him. We were talking about grooming. We're talking about the events that led up to the moment that Tom is bringing up at the reunion, me getting in the pool and us kissing. - Rachel: Also, if you haven't listened to this podcast, definitely go back after finishing our recording here. It's chapter 13, and it's with Your Bish Therapist, and she breaks down grooming so well. And I'm not saying that Tom groomed me to be like Tom's victim. - Rachel: I can take responsibility for my part in that too, because I was in a place where I was seeking validation from somebody and I felt safe around Tom, and I enjoyed my time with him. And I wasn't someone who necessarily fell victim to him, but there is a big age gap. He also was aware of my situation and knew that I was very vulnerable. - Rachel: And come on, like Tom is a manipulative person, like hands down, we can all see it. So there's a term that psychologists use for what happened between Tom and I, and it's called grooming. And then also another little note with the grooming thing that I didn't mention with Your Bish Therapist, but I kind of wish that I did. - Rachel: I think there's also this element that the show itself brings in to play. I think Vanderpump Rules itself groomed me to be okay with this type of behavior, because it's been modeled for me time and time again with previous relationships on the show from the very beginning. And I'm not a fan either. - Rachel: I know a lot of people think that I'm a huge fangirl, and just that's why I was on the show. That's not the case. Anyway, I don't need to defend myself. - Rachel: My point is that we see Jax cheating on Stassi, we see Tom cheating on Kristin with Ariana, we see Lala and James have a thing, and then Lala telling me on camera that they had a thing. We see Lala going down on Ariana, and it's very messy and complicated and blurry. And it's also like these things are accepted, basically, as the norm. - Rachel: And this is not to excuse my behavior at all, but it definitely was a factor in all of this, my decision making. It's something that has been normalized on this show.
I mean, there's no way that you could have predicted how big this scandal got, but you're saying that this behavior was kind of normalized. Did you think that if you were ever found out, it was kind of gonna be treated the same way any other cheating situation on the show had been treated? You didn't even really think that it would have blown up? (Timestamp: 16:15) - Rachel: That's correct, yes. I thought that if Tom and I got found out or like we came clean, that it would have been treated the way that cheating has always been treated on this show. All of the past cheating behaviors were not only accepted, but they were encouraged for many seasons with each cast member and made good TV to be consumed by the viewers, which kept the viewers coming back. - Rachel: Scandoval, just insanity, the scale that it's imploded to. And I don't think anyone could have predicted that.
Definitely not. You were saying that you take responsibility for your part in Scandoval. You admit that Schwartz during the reunion basically called you out and called you conniving, called you ruthless. Last year, Schwartz was doubling down on not knowing about the affair. This year, now he's coming at you, calling you conniving and ruthless. Do you think it's because you kind of outed his role in all the things? (Timestamp: 17:09) - Rachel: I think that Schwartz is Tom's mouthpiece. I think that Schwartz spends so much time with Tom that he hears Tom talk about me in a certain way. And without a doubt, Tom has been the one saying that I am conniving and I'm ruthless. - Rachel: I don't think that Schwartz actually thinks that because when Schwartz and I were all hanging out together, it wasn't ideal and Schwartz did have an issue with it. And Schwartz did try to talk some sense into Sandoval, but Sandoval also didn't uphold Schwartz's boundaries with not hanging out at his apartment. So to hear Schwartz say that I was conniving and ruthless, it's just like, come on, Schwartz.
He said, you are not a victim in this, that you were just as conniving, if not more so, and ruthless in your pursuit for pleasure. (Timestamp: 18:31) - Rachel: Wow. Okay. I don't think that I'm more conniving than Tom Sandoval. And yeah, maybe I was a little bit ruthless with my pursuit of pleasure. I can own that, sure. - Rachel: But I feel like Schwartz is spinning it. Like it was all me, and I was the mastermind behind it all. And that Tom gets off scot-free, and that's just obviously not the case. - ads podcast resumes at 21:05 - Rachel: I think at the end of that victim ruthless comment, Tom said, it was 50 50. I hear the way that Tom has spoken about the situation before, and he portrays it as, you know, I was the one that seduced him, and I'm the one that is responsible for it, which is definitely not the case. - Rachel: And Tom was the one that was in the relationship. He had the responsibility to end that relationship with Ariana if he didn't want to be in that anymore, if he wasn't happy in that anymore. He had support to do that and still failed to do that. I believe that Tom had the responsibility to break up with her. So I don't think that it is 50 50.
At the end of that exchange, too, Katie says that you haven't taken responsibility. (Timestamp: 22:03) - Rachel: What do you guys mean by I didn’t take responsibility?!?! “I really don't know. I take responsibility for my part in the affair. I totally do. - Rachel: I can see how it's messed up. And I apologize to Ariana and the people that I hurt because it wasn't just Ariana either. It was our friends who trusted me and trusted Tom. And that wasn't cool to be deceiving. And Ariana trusted me to be honest with her. And I had a responsibility to respect our friendship. - Rachel: And I failed to do that. I take responsibility with that. I am sorry. I'm doing everything in my power not to put myself in that position again and to really prioritize my female friendships. And I've gone away to figure out what led me here. I have really done a deep dive with therapists on this whole scandal situation. - Rachel: I'm doing this podcast to share those things with you guys because I feel like it will help other people who maybe don't have access to therapy or want to know more, have that curiosity as to like, you know, my thought process behind it and how that can relate to themselves. - Rachel: So I really feel like I have done everything in my power to take responsibility and to take accountability. I haven't denied anything, and I am upholding my values and I'm prioritizing my mental health. And that's really all I can do.
And so you've spoken about this before, and you said that's a lawsuit that you are bringing upon Ariana and Tom is just that. It's something that you believe you're doing to uphold your values and to prioritize yourself. (Timestamp: 23:54) - Rachel: This is also a part of me upholding my boundaries. A boundary has been violated by Tom for filming me without asking my permission first. And if he would have asked, I would have fricking said hell no. - Rachel: And then not only that, but like the boundary had been violated because Tom recorded me without me knowing, but then Ariana was the one that sent it to me. And that's a boundary violation as well. This is an action I'm taking to uphold my boundaries and to show other people that this isn't okay.
Well, I want your opinion on Scheana kind of speaking up for Ariana, because it's almost like a role reversal of what happened last year, where they were asking Sheena about her lawsuit. She couldn't speak on it. And then Tom kind of spoke and interjected and caused a whole issue there. Now this time, Scheana’s the one that's speaking up because they can't speak on it. What was your take on that? (Timestamp: 24:49) - Rachel: I think it's interesting because in this reunion as well, I'm not there to be represented in the conversation either. I remember last year when they were asking Sheena about the restraining order that was put in place. They only asked Scheana about that, and they didn't ask me about it when I was on stage. - Rachel: So watching this back, obviously I know that, you know, I'm not there to answer any questions, but it is interesting to see that Scheana is the one, as a representative for Ariana, saying it's ridiculous. Of course, she can't comment on it. And then also Tom spinning it like, oh, well, you know, I understand if she just wanted to press charges against me, but doing it against Ariana is despicable or whatever he said. - Rachel: It became a big deal because, first of all, you don't take a video like that without somebody knowing. And then you don't leave it on your phone for your girlfriend to find. And then also the way it blew up, Ariana went straight to production to tell them about it. - Rachel: TMZ reported on it and this video, and there was a target on me. Like people were out to take me down. And I knew that this video had a high probability of being circulated. - Rachel: So that was absolutely terrifying. And I, oh my gosh, if that video got out, I would have still gone to the meadows because I would have been in an even worse place. But like, imagine the additional trauma on top of that, what I was already going through. I think I would have been there for like six months.
Well, he then said that you don't have a soul. (Timestamp: 27:13) - Rachel: I'm not going around on my podcast saying that these people don't have souls. It's a new low, and I think it's more reflective of who Tom is as a person. And honestly, it's really hard for me to even like comment on it right now because I just know that that's not true at all. So it's hard for me to like get into some sort of feeling about it.
Do you also think, Rachel, that it's too tiered? So on one hand, there's these individual people talking about individual feelings, but at the end of the day, they're still on a reality show. They're making sound bites and also sort of redirecting the narrative. So when the fans are saying, what's going on with the show? And it's not great, and it's boring. Well, they bring you into the picture and they badmouth you. How do you feel about that? Do you feel that part of them is actually saying it or part of it is production value and the direction of the narrative because it brings up news? (Timestamp: 27:47) - Rachel: That's a great question that I kind of forgot to think about because as we all know, Tom does prioritize the show. This is not his first rodeo. He knows what he's doing. - Rachel: He knows that production needs certain sound bites. And it does change the trajectory of how people view me, I guess, in a way, if I'm not there to represent myself. So yeah, that is interesting. - Rachel: A really good point that I think we do need to take into consideration. It's not that exciting of a show and the cast seems to get all riled up about tearing me down. But yeah, it seems like it's calculated what Tom is saying about me to present me in a way that would in turn support him being a better looking person.
At the end of this whole conversation about you, James apologizes to the group for introducing you to everyone. They kind of say, well, you're the one that brought her in here. And he's like, sorry, guys. And they end by saying, if that's the apology we all needed, what does that feel like to see? (Timestamp: 29:19) - Rachel: It's just like one big huge eye roll. It's like the blame game. It's like, well, it's your fault. Well, it's your fault. Oh, it's James' fault for even bringing her here. I think sometimes when I watch the show, I disassociate a little bit because it is painful to watch. - Rachel: And when I saw that, and also like when I see James, it's like I've had to work through a lot of emotions through that relationship. Seeing James' whole arc this season and how he has so much support, which is fine, like it's fine, but I don't think it's burned based off of the things that he has done. And so when I see that and the cast all laughing and bonding over, oh, that was the apology we needed. - Rachel: It's like, it kind of makes you go insane a little bit because I've been apologizing, I've been taking accountability. This has been my soul's journey through this experience of really trying to overcome my social anxiety and like seeing the show as an opportunity to do that. And then overcoming some of these codependency tendencies with James and overcoming that relationship. - Rachel: And then following my heart, and where did it lead me? Straight to Tom Sandoval. And meanwhile, all of this is being filmed. I'm in my 20s and we're all supposed to make mistakes in our 20s and learn from it. And I feel like I've done exactly that. Yeah, I think it's just hard to watch scenes like that.
It seems to me when you talk about the experience with James versus the experience with Tom, that you actually get more choked up and emotional about James. And I sense more anger towards Tom and it's like you're over it, you're past it. Is that accurate? How would you interpret or explain that? (Timestamp: 31:33) - Rachel: Totally, yeah, I feel a lot more anger towards the Tom situation. And part of that is like anger towards myself for allowing myself to be in that position. With my relationship with James, looking back on that, I just feel a lot of pain, a lot of what I thought to be as self-sacrifice because I saw the potential of who this person could be. - Rachel: And I also clung onto the good moments and disassociated from the atrocious moments. Yeah, there's a lot of pain and trauma with that. And I think it also makes sense as to why I wasn't okay after that relationship. - Rachel: And it makes sense how I ended up with Tom. With the relationship with Tom too, it was so fun and overjoyous. And yeah, I didn't feel so good about it when I was hanging out with a group with Ariana, or I didn't feel good about it when I wasn't with Tom. - Rachel: But then when I was with him, it was like I was able to fully escape and to feel okay. All that to say, yeah, there's a lot more anger towards Tom, especially the way that he's handling it. No accountability, it seems like. - Rachel: And he just wants to put all the blame on me, which infuriates me. And then with James, it's like, I guess some resentment, because I know how shitty of a partner he's been. And I felt like I had to step into like a motherly role with him. - Rachel: I think there's frustration and resentment, especially the way that the show's portraying him this season and like seeing his little hero arc. It's gross to me. When a part of you is hanging on to a relationship, even though you're the one breaking up with the person, it does feel painful when that person moves on so incredibly quickly. - Rachel: Like they only needed a few weeks to grieve and then they're on to the next. It does something where you think like, oh, did you not really love me? Were you not really in this relationship? All of those thoughts go through your head or for me anyway, and it's painful. Painful.
***ads roll, podcast starts back at 36:23
So how hard is it to watch the reunion back this year? Compared to last year, would you say it's harder or easier not being there? But that also means that you didn't have the chance to respond and defend yourself this year. (Timestamp: 36:23) - Rachel: It was definitely harder last year watching the reunion than it is this year, even though I'm not there to defend myself. You know, that's kind of like the name of the game at this point, we're at the end of the season, and I haven't been there the entire time to defend myself. I also know how reunions go, kind of know what to expect at this point, and I also know that my voice isn't in the collective of Vanderpump Rules. - Rachel: You know, it is difficult in that way, but it's also like I have this podcast to be able to have a voice. I feel secure in myself just knowing that that I'm able to at least have a voice.
So how do you feel about what Lala said towards Katie? Because for so long, Katie's been positioning herself as a no BS kind of girl. She says you bullied her, and you know, she's ride or die for Ariana at the end of the day. Lala called her out for complaining about Ariana and not being true to herself and maybe playing to the cameras. How does that make you feel? (Timestamp: 37:24) - Rachel: Yeah, okay. So I had to rewatch that scene twice because I was confused at first. I was like, what are they arguing about? And it's kind of like one of those nuanced things where you have to take into consideration the show and the rules of the show and putting on a facade or front for a means to an end, which I think every single cast member has done. - Rachel: So yeah, it's interesting because I think, Lala wouldn't just make something up about Katie complaining about Ariana. And I think that Lala felt abandoned by Katie, especially after they were so close the year prior for season 10. - Rachel: I think Lala was just pointing out that like, it's convenient that Ariana is the it girl, and she is, you know, the fan favorite. And it's very easy to kind of like flip flop into who is the fan favorite, and to be close to them for longevity of your own fan base and the longevity of the show. But they also own a sandwich shop together, so I think there's like genuine connection there too. - Rachel: Yeah, it seems like there may be a little bit of manipulation with not being fully honest with how you feel about a certain person.
Katie did just post something. (Timestamp: 39:28) - Rachel: Okay, I'll read this. Katie posted on her Instagram story, I'm someone who has suffered from imposter syndrome for as long as I have known myself. Hence why I was apprehensive about opening the sandwich shop on my own. - Rachel: So when Ariana was going through not only a world of hurt, but also getting some amazing opportunities, that changed a lot of things during a pivotal time. I was extremely sensitive to what she was going through, but also very supportive. I was also dealing with immense insecurity about what I could take on and simply didn't want to put that on her. - Rachel: I had an emotional response that didn't feel appropriate bringing to her front door. So I went where I felt safe or where I thought was safe until I could find the appropriate conversation was to have with Ariana, which of course I did. And we have had plenty since. - Rachel: Okay, okay. Here we go. It's so funny because this show, social media is playing another aspect in reality TV these days, especially Vanderpump Rules, because Katie was able to think about it and come up with a response. And I think her response seems to be genuine, and it's a little shady because she's basically saying, I trusted Lala to keep this in the vault and to keep this between us. - Rachel: And Lala went against Katie's expectation of friendship to bring it to the forefront for the show, which also supports the argument that Lala, she prioritizes the show a lot. Interesting, interesting. What do you guys think?
A lot of fan feedback is that Katie just went and got a PR rep to write a statement for her, which is quite funny because that's what she always says about you. But the fans are all writing that she needed to go get help for a statement. (Timestamp: 41:26) - Rachel: Oh.
She did seem very uncomfortable watching the reunion, kind of like she had these feelings, but she didn't want to target Ariana, so she did take them elsewhere. And when you can find, I feel like everyone's vented to a friend in like a moment of weakness, and it doesn't necessarily reflect on how you feel about that person. You just need to vent to someone. So it did feel like that, but yeah, I think it's complicated when the person that you're venting to feels like you're on their side, and then you're filming a show later and act completely differently. So there's layers, I think, to it. (Timestamp: 41:39) - Rachel: Definitely, yeah, definitely layers. I think it's also interesting how I'm no Tom Tom fan, but to Tom and Tom's defense, not once have they talked down to the girls for the sandwich shop not opening on time and haven't made it a big deal, because they personally know how difficult it is to open up a bar or a restaurant, whereas other people haven't been so kind to them about it. And then to Ariana's defense too, she did say, I've always been supportive of that, which she has been.
What about the actual sandwich shop itself too? They said it was gonna be open by the time the premiere aired, and everybody's still spinning the question, is it or isn't it? What's real, what's not? Is it a sham? Is it a storyline? And it's not open now, again, when they said it was going to be open. What do you think? (Timestamp: 43:02) - Rachel: If it was a sham, I don't think that they would be announcing that it was going to be open, because they would know that people would be disappointed and they would get a lot of crap for it. So I don't know. I don't think it's a sham. - Rachel: But the projected opening of something about her is now May 22. May 22 is only about a week post the reunion airing. So they're not that far off. - Rachel: But I mean, don't announce that they're going to be open by the time it airs if you're not, because I feel like people will just be like, all right, where can I order a sandwich? And people will be disappointed, like I suspect they are now. I'm not reading the comments, so I don't know.
To kind of wrap things up, I feel like there was a little bit of tension between the cast, clearly in the moment where like Lisa was talking about sandwich shop with Ariana and Katie, there was definitely tension there between the girls and Lisa. Do you think this is a sign that the cast is kind of unraveling? What do you think about the future of this cast? (Timestamp: 44:13) - Rachel: I think tension is like the show's middle name. And if there isn't tension, then it isn't doing well. So I think that, I don't know, like is the show going to come back or not? - Rachel: That is the question on everybody's minds. And I think it's the right move if they really are pausing it to let the cast process this traumatic event for everybody because it has been nonstop and there really hasn't been any downtime to take a beat and process it. And I think they also are like, all right, what is the next season going to be? - Rachel: Because what are our storylines and what is the new drama? Because we're not going to keep harping on this. If Rachel isn't coming back, then there's no reason to keep talking about it because we've kind of beat the dead horse already. - Rachel: I think it's smart to let the cast live and create some drama in the real world to bring back for the next season if they are going to continue Vanderpump Rules. But I predict that Lala and Sheena are going to transfer over to the Valley because the Valley has been picked up for another season, and it just makes sense the way that they bought homes in the Valley and they have babies and they're friends with the cast over there. So it seems like a pretty seamless transition. - Rachel: I don't think that James and Ally will be in the Valley. I honestly think that this would be a great place for Vanderpump Rules to end because it's had a good run. - Rachel: And I'm hesitant to say anything because I get picked apart, but whatever. I think the fans are starting to see how contrived the show can be and that this friend group is not actually a friend group. They are cast members who have a job first and foremost and will do anything to secure their payday. - Rachel: But regardless, if this is the last season or if it's not, I wish the cast all the best. I really, truly do hope that they find healing in this because it has been traumatic, and I think that the show really does kind of emotionally stunt. An individual, so we all have some catching up to do on adulting in life.
Outro (Timestamp: 47:32) - Rachel: Thank you so much for listening to Rachel Goes Rogue. Follow us on Instagram and TikTok for exclusive video content at the Rachel Goes Rogue podcast.
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“All I remember is I was watching AR porn when I rammed into the biggest cock I’d ever seen.” Cyrus Pessoa [M/D], testifying at his manslaughter trial for rear ending a city bus with a Citymaster, killing 27.
“At any point in your life did you consider moving on from the fat crayons?” Sativola [F/D], rated 5th most influential art critic, reviewing a work by Oihenarte Janosek [M/D]. The value of all of his works dropped by 95% after the comment.
“Did you see him hit the ground and die? No? Cuz, I don’t care how far he fell out of that helicopter, he’s your arch enemy. They simply don’t go out like that.” Matriarch [F/H], Author of “Chromed Memoirs: Yet Another Goddamn Runner Story”.
“Discretion isn’t all that necessary if your enemy isn’t paying any attention.” Silentstar [F/H], from her book “Woah, There: Logical Run Planning”, p. 2071
“Don’t pick at it.” - Simple advice that a recent New England Of Medicine study showed would prevent 15% of post-op cyber and bio infections if followed.
“For every bed of roses, there will be a bed of thorns. Which will you lie on?” - Riku [H/M], Leader Of The “Front 50/50” Policlub, one of the new breed of ‘Economist Policlubs' to crop up in recent years.
“He who laughs last often doesn’t realize how severe his injuries are yet.” Tiffany Gawronski [F/O], former DocWagon employee and host of “The Shadow’s Stupidest Samurai”.
“I am happy to report that the two sides have agreed to cease hostilities at midnight. Until then, and I quote, ‘The game is motherfucking on.’” - Kiley Correra [F/E], arbiter for the Babakku and Konton-Shi gangs, ending (eventually) weeks of bloodshed.
“I did show an astonishingly high aptitude towards surviving falls from very high distances, but they don’t really give bonuses for that.” - Celese [F/H], from her autobio “I Was A Runner Wannabe", p. 2073
“I gave up crime so I could go about stealing shit the legal way.” Alexa Mossadegh (Shadowstalker) [F/H] in her autobio "Lawyers, Corps And Cops: A Former Runner’s Life On The Top Ten Floors", p. 2071
“I looked down, and it was GONE! I wasn’t even sure which orifice I lost it in!” Ezekiel Lodge [M/E], in a graphic vlog post after a drug fueled encounter with a malfunctioning sexbot.
“I still want the record to show that I beat the living shit out of that donkey.” Dill Wart [O/M], In a rambling police statement after a drunken miscommunication at The Screaming Asses’ 'Donkey Punch' night.
“I take everything a woman has, lock her in a room for a week with nothing but a razor blade, and if she’s still alive after seven days: I give it all back.” Unnamed Evo exec, quoted in “Games Trillionaires Play” (p. 2075), by Felipa Sabo [F/H], (d. 2075).
“I won Body Mod Bod of the year, and all I had to do was get hit by a truck.” Azurepyre [F/E], In a post award ceremony interview with ‘Metal Meat' magazine.
“I’m sorry, but we recently refinished the floors. Your commandos will just have to invade on the lawn.” President Lành Phan [M/H] of Nong Khai after an Udon Thani incursion. The micronations have invaded each other over 60 times in the past decade.
“I’ve been in the midst of an implant assisted orgasm since 2062. Just easier to nev..oh…never shut it off.” - Jenny Gleem [F/H], simporn actress.
“If somebody described a trip to the bathroom as ‘life changing’, you think negatively because, regardless if the experience was good or bad, there’s still a bathroom involved.” Bingo [F/T] from her book “The Worst: Surviving The Z Zone”, p. 2069
“If we lock a man in a room, and return to find the man standing next to a pile of shit, we can no longer even prove that it’s his shit.” Attorney Daniel Brown [M/H] from ‘Magic Mayhem: The New Legal Order’, p. 2031
“Laziness Is Fatal” Loose translation of the motto of Fujitimaha Motors, an automotive sweatshop recently shut down on Japan's Yakushima Island. It is one of over a dozen ‘counterfeit car" operations shut down in recent months.
“Never let another person tie your knots. Even your mom has a tiny part of her that thinks you should die.” Seraphic [F/H], Host of ‘Don’t Fuck Up: Survival In The Sprawl', daily senseburst.
“Operation Dog Fart” The code name casually given by the U.K. to their 2063 Falkland raid, not realizing it would go on to be one of the most successful military actions of the decade, destined to be taught in military academies for years.
“Thankfully, I’m too stupid to grasp the concept of embarrassment.” Big Bubba Bartholomew [M/D], after winning the Butt Network’s ‘Public Pooping’ contest, coming from behind and pinching the lead after destroying his opponent in both mass and precision.
“You can tell a lot about a person by how they laugh. I, for instance, laugh like an asshole, which is 100% on the mark.” Razor, Radio Phree Philadelphia, available on FM receivers everywhere.
“You think I’m disappointed; I think I heard God shoot herself.” - Dawnhunter [F/D], deconstructing the new hopefuls on the hit stream ‘Dumped In The Shadows: From Rejects To Runners In 30 Days.’
“We’ve made a pretty good business out of other runners fucking up royal.” Resolution [M/T], Owner Of ‘Pinch Hitters Runner Support Services'.
“Facts, when combined with an assault cannon, constitute the greatest force in the world.” Anvil [M/O] ‘KnowNow’ Policlub And Militia Leader
“We just put a lot of effort into getting our enemies to exhaust all but one option, and then pounce on that option.” White Pony [F/O], DeeCee Area Runner.
“A fertile mind needs a lot of shit dumped onto it to grow to its full potential. It’s either that or they drown in the shit.” Lam An [M/H], Commander, Bogota Bravo Faction, During Sentencing For The Murder Of 278 Child Recruits
“I’ve found that changing my mind at the last minute only results in two fuckups instead of one.” Province [F/H], Boston Area Runner
“If knowledge is dangerous, I feel pretty safe around here.” Random Patron, “Dumbs Bar And Grill”, After Passing The Location’s ‘Lack Of Intelligence’ Test.
“It wasn’t until I made all this fucking money that I realized how many friends I have.” - Biggie Bang [D/M], DJ And Recording Artist.
“I got so many Colt M23s crammed into my bathroom alone that I have to shit in the yard. The neighbors don’t complain, probably because of all the Colt M23s I got crammed into my bathroom.” - Finnick, Fence
“Running on fumes is still running.” – Blackjack [M/H], From The Autobio “Grade D, But Edible: 25 Years In The Sprawl”, 2051 SimonEl Press
“Running is like adding too much garlic to a salad; Rude if you’re feeding vampire…...I’m not sure where I was going with that.“ - Chris, The Cracked Cranium Comedian [O/M].
“Another 50k run? I still owe ten grand from the last one!” - Stoobie [D/M], 17th Worst Sammy In The Sprawl.
“All these conceded masses who think they matter because of their differing opinions disgust me! I’m better than you! Just accept that and watch!” - Erika Grey [F/H], Commentator, XF Zero NewsEve.
“Apathy is pulling the trigger and not giving a shit whether or not it fires. True apathy is not bothering to pull the trigger at all.” KillJoy [H/M] [DECEASED], Samurai , From The Bio “Dented Chrome: Streets, Sewers And Suicide”, 2065 SimonEl Press.
“Pull your head into your shell, little turtle. I’ll be ready with the guillotine when you poke it back out.” Dzuljeta Ji-Hye [F/H], Former CIA Sniper, From The Bio “One Chance”, 2071 Simon El Press.
“Facts only make it harder to form a pure ethos. I despise you. I don’t need to know why.” - Ho Bustillo [M/H], Humanis Policlub Initiate.
“A lie will rumble through the sprawl for days before the truth even gets its shit together.” Joeann Dimario [F/E], Investigative Reporter, InDeep News.
“It isn’t the lights and cameras that frighten a true performer. It’s what happens when the lights and cameras are turned off that gives us nightmares.” Dyna [F/E], Former Megastar, From The Autobiosim “It’s Not A Star, It’s A Flare”, 2068 SimonEl Press.
“The only thing a fuckup can learn is how to be a better fuckup, regardless of the tech involved.” – Sif Simon [F/H], Synaptic Enhancement Surgeon.
-bjk

Graduation in about a week, traveled countries between elementary/middle/high school (pretty much my entire life thanks to my dad's work and immigration background), for which I am grateful for as such experience has helped me develop a lot personally as a person. But my friends network is pretty much 0 (I mean it, not even a single one), I always tried to get some friends, never worked as everyone knew each other well from before and I was never able to get any good friends.
Now just got an email from our school principal, congratulating on our journey so far and well wished with this quote; "You all are going to go down different paths, and our hope is that your time at (input school name) has prepared you to find success no matter what direction life takes you. Whatever path that you decide to embark on, one thing is for certain...you will ALWAYS be (school mascot)."
Reading things like that brings back a feeling inside me that is honestly unexplainable, most of you probably have had friends in high school, atleast over 1 and a lot of you are probably adults at this point in your lives and couldn't care less, (doesn't matter, I am here to get this off me), but to try and explain it, its a wierd sensation/feeling of insecurity, sadness, confusion and worry. What's ironic is the same me a year back would be dying to graduate and get off this place, especially due to my non-interesting high school/social life so far, but now that things are close, and the fact that after soo many years as a kid and a teen who just went to school everyday, I am now entering the last phase of my teens and what's even crazier is that my "school life" is over, I do plan on going to university/college to pursue engineering but that's a serious entry to adult life.
It's not that I miss high school itself, but perhaps it's familiar environment that I have grown up used to, the same I wished I could have escaped sooner if this was me months if not a year ago. I know the familiar faces and the routine of school will be coming to an end (or seeing my crush everyday in that one class,, it's not just that though), I will especially be moving to another city although same state, so I know for a fact that I will never be seeing anyone from HS, none of my classmates, my teachers, counselors or anybody, of course it was my decision to go to this other city and have a fresh start for my college life and I more than happily stand by it, but I can't shake this feeling off, and I believe it will only get severe until the very last moment of graduation, which I don't even know how it is going to go considering I have nobody to share these moments with, Ill just take photos of myself with my mom and dad......just like they have been the only human beings I have been close to and in touch with so far in my life.
Of course I am excited for college and the next phase of life, I always try to be very positive, but in a moment like this it has become inevitable for me to get this feeling. To anyone young reading this who is in a similar phase, or perhaps you are older in college and looking to get out of it and go to workforce, here is something I will tell you:
No matter in which phase of life you are, it is not permanent, nothing is, but in that very moment it feels like it is permanent, it feels like it is taking forever because you are looking at the negatives off it, wishing "oh when will this shit end!", but remember that every phase in your life has both positives and negatives, and if you keep looking at the negatives, it might be just as bad or even worse in the next phase of your life, learn to look for all the positives you have today, and enjoy every moment of your life because one day, all of this will pass away and the end for our whole journey will come for everyone one of us, and nobody for sure knows what happens after that, so be happy and enjoy with the journey you have right now at the moment.
Today at school, I didn't just stare at my phone and walked to my classes like I used to. I put my phone away and looked around the building, and the school, the people, the teachers, the environment and myself in that phase, saving my memory of this phase in life with the feeling of neither being able to miss it or not care about it.

Putting out second chapter sooner than I anticipated. Response to first one was a lot more touching than I expected, so here you have it~ I can't promise updates to keep being as quick as this one, but I wanted to get this one out to give people a bit of peace of mind and direction for where this is actually going.
As usual, thanks to SpacePaladin15 for letting fanfiction flow and all the people on discord who encouraged me to put this suffering to word. Without further ado, let's get into... The Pain.
First - [Next]
The Odyssey Mission Update Report - Audiolog
Hello... Sara Rosario speaking. This is our final report before we’re heading back. Yes, we had a dozen more exoplanets to investigate, but... this is... Fuck, this is gonna be so informal...
...yes!
...
I know! I am doing your job here! Would you like come and do it for yourself?!
...
That’s what I thought. Plus, I doubt you’d do much better.
Ugh. Anyway. Fuck, let me just restart.
Sara Rosario of vessel Odyssey speaking. When we were about to continue the mission following our latest report, and powering up our FTL, we got... ambushed is the best word for it. Suddenly, several ships of clearly non-Earth origin showed up around us. We were... shocked, but also excited. Afraid, a little too. Then... they hailed us using video. We picked up, of course. And it was aliens. Actual real aliens. Big anthropomorphic gator looking people! Their commander urged us to abandon our course and invited us onto their ship for an explanation. We could understand it! They had technology far surpassing ours that allowed them to translate our language after just interfacing with our ship for a few minutes! Me and Noah were ecstatic as they opened a hangar, their ship large enough to fit all of Odyssey inside.
Then we met him. The leader of the vessel, one Chief Hunter Isif. They used a device that they configured to translate their language, Arxur language, to our English. They only have one language in their culture it seems. Anyway, moving on... First thing he did is directly state that he wishes to impress us positively and therefore invited us for a small feast before we proceed further. Noah agreed on our behalf, believing it best to engage in whatever cultural greeting the arxur think necessary. I should have insisted that we didn’t...
We were brought to a dining room and quickly our ‘meal’ was brought in. It—
What?!
...
Yes, I know it’s not an it, it’s a she, I’m trying—
Noah, shut the hell up! We didn’t know then, so—
What? You want me to say it directly on record? Right now? Fine, then listen up, SETI. As part of our First Contact we ate a fucking sapient child. There. All cards on the table. Are you fucking happy, Noah Williams?! Can I continue this stupid log?!
...
Great. Okay, shit, where was I?
Yeah. We didn’t know she was a sapient. The sounds aliens make when talking are not reminiscent of any Earth languages and... Fuck... It just sounded like a bleating lamb, okay! Sure, it was weird and alien, but especially the way they were carrying it, we didn’t even realize it was bipedal! We didn’t—I—
[Recording paused]
[Recording resumed]
Okay. Okay, I can do this. What we thought was just an alien animal was brought in and butchered right in front of us. Not killed though, butchered explicitly without killing it. I was about to protest, but... Didn’t. I thought it was some screwed up tradition, and I guess it was, just way more screwed up than I thought and... We didn’t want to alienate the first people in the galaxy that we met over the way they prepare their meal. We didn’t know!
Well, he just offers us a piece. Just tears a chunk out of chopped off half a leg and offers to us! I was already iffy on trying alien meat without testing, despite Isif’s insistence that it is safe. That was the line I was drawing. Guess what? He was prepared. The ‘chef’ that was preparing the meal went ahead and cut off the rest of the leg after heating his knife! The poor thing was still alive, still bleating, I... I thought it was just an animal... I didn’t... God...
[Recording paused]
[Recording resumed]
Continue. Okay... Shit, where was I again? Right... We... ate some of it. Then...
...
Noah, what the fuck is wrong with you?! I... god, fuck—
[Recording paused]
[Recording resumed]
For the record, Noah asked if I was going to describe the taste. Yes, it’s fucked up, we’re both fucked up and coping best we can. I had to throw up for like 4th time now and he still refuses to step more than two feet away from the child. Anyway, we ate some of it, no I am not describing the taste, I don’t care that you still feel it in your mouth, Noah, fuck you, you dumped this log on me, I am doing it my way.
So we ate a bit and then he started talking. We’ll... probably need a proper debrief after we’re back. But the gist of what he said is as follows. His species is oblige carnivores who are frankly on the brink of starvation. They have no choice but to raid the worlds of a group of species that they call the Federation to capture the cattle for consumption. We asked about trade, but he just said they find even the idea of any creature, wild or sapient, consuming meat abhorrent and undeserving of living. Okay, makes sense so far. I can see how such a conflict could start. He even mentions they don’t really consider creatures as slaved to their instinct as those Federation species sapient... We should have realized then...
But we didn’t. We thought it was just some old hatred with a dose of racist rhetoric. Then he started showing us. Showing us more of his people, told us of their religion of self-improvement on whole-societal level. Some sort of ideological theocratic dictatorship. He showed us the map of their territories, including the ‘hunting grounds’ of Federation worlds... Then told us a brief history of how they used to have cattle, only to have the Federation kill it all to starve them out. And then he showed us what the Federation does to any predator, regardless of sapience or danger... He showed a bunch of arxur fighting a flamethrower-wielding alien. They killed a few, but got overwhelmed. However, as they did, their helmet was knocked off, and that’s when it hit us... It was the same species as... the girl on the table... And he just nodded and confirmed, yes, one of them.
They don’t take cattle from wildlife, but from the sapient populace. Wildlife has been too damaged by the ‘exterminators’, those flamethrower wielding defense forces. So they just grab sapients, put them into cages, and treat them like cattle, including eating them fucking alive.
Worst part? He even said that the one he fed us was a child. Fucking—
...
Yes, I will quote what he said! You reminded me of the taste thing, I will remind you of this!
Guess what that monster said? “We picked a young one because they are more tender. They are a delicacy, although not nearly as filling.”
I think that’s the point at which we both just were too... out of it to even react appropriately. We tried to maintain our decorum, and managed to work in sync somehow and make up a lie about strict schedule of our mission and needing to report back. And then he just goes “Are you not going to finish the meal, at least?”
Thank god for Noah’s quick thinking and asking for her to be brought with us, because I think I would have broken down there and then if I had to answer that question.
They brought the alien girl with us, and gave us a few ‘gifts’ other. A star chart with territory of this Federation as well as their marked hunting grounds, and fucking suggestions for worlds he is willing to allow us to ‘try’—Actually you guys will get it when you get it. There were also a few translators, all configured arxur-english, a communication device to contact him personally, and a data storage device containing important information that is basically more detailed version of his story.
So... we left his ship and set course back to Earth. The alien child is with us, and she’s alive. Somehow, despite... everything. Noah did his best to treat her and is trying to keep her stable, while I’m kicking the engine into overdrive to make it back faster. We’ll need medics ready, and not just medics, best xenobiologists and veterinarians or whoever can figure out how to keep that poor child from dying. We’re... sending over the data packet too. And any sort of info Noah manages to figure out about her biology from his non-invasive examination.
God... the universe is full of people who’d kill us just for us eating meat, and the only ones willing to be friends coerced us into eating a fucking child and saw nothing wrong with it. This is fucked up. I should have become a vet...
We didn’t know... I swear, if we knew, we’d never... God, I still hear the way she screamed. I can’t help but hear it as scream now, not bleating of an injured animal. I’m so sorry...
She’s in our mini-infirmary right now... Why the fuck weren’t we better equipped for dealing with medical issues? Oh, it’s just two people scanning a bunch of planets from orbit, it’ll be fine... Shit! Well, Noah said he knocked her out with painkillers and sedatives. I have no clue if they’ll work right on alien biology, but it's the best we can do...
Uh... I don’t know how to end these things, Noah is one who does them, but... God, I hope the girl makes it... We didn’t know...
Sara... out, I guess?
Memory Transcription Subject: Dr. Erin Kuemper, SETI Researcher
Date [standardized human time]: July 13, 2136
I stood in a small area in front of the bathroom, trying to collect myself. Biggest news of the century and it’s so... Horrible. In every way imaginable. I just finished delivering the news to the big heads but what followed, I... Couldn’t handle it. I needed some time, some space to process what we have learned. Hundreds of people out there, just like us... all wanting us dead before we even met them. One kind that is ready to welcome us... but eats other people because they believe them inferior. Best we could hope for is that some part of it all is a lie or a terrible misunderstanding, but data that was sent over to us... They were advanced, but unless they were watching us for years, they wouldn’t have time to forge something like that, nor did they have a good reason to deceive us. The arxur were, as far as we could tell, truthful.
Sara’s voice in that message was haunting. I don’t think there’ll ever be another moment in history when a room full of generals is so absolutely mortified. And all the arguments that broke out the moment the briefing was over...
I heard footsteps, but with my face buried in my hands I couldn’t see who it was. I decided to ignore it... I just wanted to wake up from this nightmare. To always look forward to meeting new life, only for it to become... this.
“You as well, Dr. Kuemper?”
I lowered my hands and to my surprise it was the Secretary-General himself standing before me, offering me a tired smile. Somehow, despite his advanced age, he managed to look at least a decade older. Although with everything that just happened, I think that’s getting off easy.
“Sorry, Secretary-General, I just... Needed some space.”
“Same, really, so I can understand.” Mr. Meier pauses and leans on the wall beside me. “I guess this Friday the 13th superstitions had something true to them, huh?”
That actually got a chuckle out of me.
“So, I’ve heard the takes of the military heads, way too many for this early in the day, but since you’re here, I’d like to hear your actual thoughts on how to proceed.”
That took me by surprise. I was just a scientist, not some big political planner or a tactical genius. Still... I can’t say I didn’t have strong opinions already.
“We... can’t ally with those arxur. I hate that this is the way our First Contact went, but knowing what they do... We can’t. And that Federation, well, we have no choice but to hide.” I sighed, realizing that I was basically suggesting recoiling back and entering full isolationism. So much for SETI. “I just wish we could... change their minds instead. Show the Federation that peaceful coexistence is possible and show the arxur that their horrid crimes are unnecessary. But I strongly doubt either will listen, they’ve got no reason to. We’ve barely left our solar system... We’re helpless if either decides that they should eliminate us.”
Secretary-General Meier stroked his chin before nodding with a light smile.
“Yes, if only making people listen to reason was easy... But I appreciate your input, Doctor. Thank you. That does give me room for better thoughts than what Zhao and Jones are offering.”
With that he started walking away. I stood up properly and rubbed my eyes before checking the time. Odyssey ETA is about one hour from now. The medical teams were already prepped at the landing site, but I was still worried. For all we knew, the alien child that the crew managed to rescue might already be doomed just from alien bacterial contamination. And being far from the field of medicine myself, I could only pray that won’t be the case.
Noticing that Elias Meier still hasn’t turned the corner, I call out to him.
“Sir! What... what happens next? What do we do now?”
I don’t know why I asked that. It’s a stupid question, but I just needed to know what his plans were. What anyone’s plans were. How are we supposed to deal with all this. He pauses for a few long moments before responding.
“I am not entirely sure. But all I know is that we aren’t going to compromise our morals. I won’t let mankind be brought down to the level of the war the rest of the galaxy is fighting. As for you specifically... Stay in touch. We’ll need an official UN expert team for handling all extraterrestrial matters. And give my regards to the crew of Odyssey when they land. I will likely be too busy for a proper meeting for a while now, but despite how they feel, they’ve done humanity proud.”
With that the Secretary-General walked back towards the meeting hall, leaving me alone. With naught better to do for the next hour, I followed after. He was right. We can still fix this. We can make it better and find a way. We just need to try.
Memory Transcription Subject: Stynek, Venlil Cattle
Date [standardized human time]: July 14, 2136
Dying felt weird, I decided. I never thought about what it must be like until I was captured as cattle, but I had a lot of time to think about things like that while in the pens. I didn’t want it, but part of me wondered if it’d be painful, but surprisingly, dying felt like all pain going away, replaced with distant dull aching, like when you sit with your legs crossed for too long. I also thought it would be dark, but it was actually constant shifting between bright lights shining before fading back to blackness before going bright again.
The weirdest thing about dying was thinking. I always assumed that dying meant you stop thinking, but it seems I was instead just thinking really slowly, and couldn’t focus on a single thing. I tried counting to ten, but always lost count before getting past five!
I am pretty sure there were things moving too. It was hard to focus, but whenever there was light, I could almost make out some shapes in front of it, even if light was just overwhelming them. The only clear shape I remember was particularly dark. It reminded me of mom.
But lights kept going in and out... It was also still cold in death, just like in that predator refrigerator. I guess it makes sense that death wouldn’t be warm, but it was weirdly disappointing. I was hoping it would be somehow relaxing and peaceful, but it was just... vague.
Oh, there was more light too... It was different somehow... And then shapes of different colors... Weird...
...would it be selfish to want to meet my mom? I know to do that she’d have to die... But I miss her. I don’t wanna be dead without her...
The light is getting pretty bright... And thinking... harder...
...
...
...
I wake up with a start as I realize I am not dead. I feel too much to be dead... Or was this afterlife? It’s a struggle to open my eyes. My eyelids felt like they were sealed shut. When I finally do, I squeeze them right back closed. Light, too much light! It’s so blinding. I try to raise my arm to shield my poor eyes, but my arm refuses to move. It’s as heavy as a mazic... My whole body feels sluggish and heavy.
I try sitting up instead, flexing my body with all my might to raise myself a bit, and feel a sheet slide of some sort sliding off of me. I attempt opening eyes again, letting them slowly adjust to intense and bright lighting, taking some time to examine where I am. It’s very... white. White walls, counters, a lot of white machinery, screens carrying some information... Wait, machinery? Why is the machinery connected to me?
...it’s a hospital. I’m in a hospital. How did I get here?
Thinking is hard, but when I flex my mind real hard, it hits me. Sluggishness momentarily disappears as I shoot up, trying to stand but fail. I throw off the stupid sheet covering me and see it. The stump where my right leg once was, covered in bandages.
Fear starts coursing through me as memories of what happened all flood in at once. Why...? How am I here? I was dying... I was supposed to have been eaten by weird mystery predators arxur handed me over to. Where am I?!
“A-Anyone? Anyone here...?” I call out, my voice feeling raspy and dry. That’s when I realize how intensely thirsty I am.
Immediately, the door opens, multiple figures entering the room. All large, dressed fully in protective suits covering their whole bodies, other than large visors at the head. The suits were weird though, there were no tails.
The figures surrounded me, hushing me back down onto the bed. How did this happen? Was I rescued? But... nobody ever gets rescued from cattle ships... It makes no sense. They were making some rumbly sounds, but I couldn’t understand them. I tried reaching for my temple, where the scar from implant extraction was, but a hand stopped me forcefully, one of the figures grabbing it and giving a slow shake of its head.
Then the figure let me go and I let myself be laid back down. Figures seemed to get to work on the medical machinery. Yes... it didn’t matter. I was saved and... even if I lost my leg... At least I could see mom again.
The one figure that stopped me from touching my scar put its hand on my head and gently stroked my hair. It felt weird, through that rubbery material they were wearing, but I suppose it was an affectionate gesture. I hope they’ll give me a new implant, because I want to ask so many questions!
Then I saw it. My eyes were still adjusting to light, and visors reflected it a lot, but in a momentary glimpse of it breaking through, I saw just what was hiding inside the suit. It was that same monster that participated in arxur meal, that ate a piece of me! That dark-colored predator! And rest were probably just like it! This was no hospital; this was a predator lab! I was about to be dissected!
Panic rushed through me, a scream starting to escape my lungs, as I swatted that large grabbing hand away from me and immediately tried to run, scampering out of bed. I could feel multiple wires falling off of me as I did that, and figures of predators in suits turned towards me and began their approach... No!
I yelled in desperation, continuing the scream that I hoped would alert someone, even if in my heart I knew none would hear my pleads. I crawled backwards, unable to stand up at all with my leg missing, but found myself in the corner... I didn’t even look where I was going! They kept approaching, slowly, as if savoring their hunt of helpless prey, and I kept screaming, unable to make myself stop, horror completely gripping my being.
These creatures were unfamiliar sapient predators. Of course they wouldn’t just eat me, they would want to learn everything about me and then eat me! I can’t take it anymore! My arms flailed around, trying to reach for something, anything, but I only knocked over a nearby counter. There! Shiny and bright, must be a knife! I grabbed it and started swinging it wildly in front of myself, trying to keep the predators at a distance... But after a few swings I realized that the knife was weirdly unsharp... and had a rounded end with an indent... It was a spoon!
Then predators suddenly stepped aside, opening a path between me and the door. Part of me tried to make a run for it, rushing towards it, but on only one leg I just hopped up and faceplanted down on the ground. Then there was a small prick in my forearm. Last thing I saw before unconsciousness took me again was a small dart sticking out of my arm and predators’ shadows covering the bright light above as they reached for my helpless body...
First - [Next]

This won't be perfectly formatted as I'm copying this from my Discord posts onto reddit on mobile at 9% charge. So apologies.

• Robin and Sunday - Tuner of the Harmony and Choir of the Order

Sunday is an idealist in the sense of the theory of idealism. He believes in a perfect paradise for Mankind without involvement of Aeons or Gods or factions or etc. Equally, Sunday cherishes life. But he does not cherish the will that comes with life.
Sunday believes that in Order, comes salvation. In control, comes salvation. If there is a perfect world where all are equal and none suffer, then why does it matter if it's a cage and that Sunday is the one maintaining Order? They'll be alive and "happy" after all. Their "happiness" is determined by the "self value" that he sets for them. At the same time, he believes in fair warfare. If people are to fight over ideology, they do it without cheating the fight. This is why Sunday chose to keep us alive within the Dream of Ena that grasps the entirety of the Asdana system.
Robin is the opposite. She is a sort of mix of idealism and realism. She loves and cares for the will of person along with their life. Living in a dream and cage is no life. It is an escape that you never grow or move from. Even if a bird is at risk of losing its life, one should not trap it eternally within a cage, but allow it to fly free within the skies where it belongs. But equally, whose to say it belongs in the skies? If it will fall and die from its inability to fly, then whose to say it doesn't belong on the ground? This is the difference between Sunday and Robin. Sunday obsessively seeks to maintain life through Order, and Robin wishes to maintain freedom through Harmony.
This is also why Gopher Wood mislead Sunday about his plan. While both were children of Order, only one was destined to follow that path to the end willingly. Gopher Wood always knew Sunday was the one to be centre stage in his plan, never Robin. He just presented it that way.

• The Dream Of Order and the Harmonious Choir

We never experienced the real story of Penacony. What we were experiencing is a fake replay. However most of what we did experience inside was true. The only flaw and incorrect ending was as follows. Misha should not exist in reality. And we should not have won through Jing Yuan. Everything else presented within the Dream, from information to actions are true (As in they happened, are correct information, and or could've happened). This means information such as Jing Yuan being an Emanator is not a case of unreliable narration.
What is the Dream of Order? It is a dream founded on the wishes of the People. The Harmonious Choir is one who grants wishes. By entrapping them all in a joyful Dream, their wishes connect and power that Dream also. As time goes on, their wishes will solidify and the strength of the Dream will become impenetrable. However, adding disorder to their wishes by including the free will of many or just having them all change their wishes in a disorderly fashion, will result in the beginning of the collapse of the Dream of the Order.
Within the Dream of the Order, the Harmonious Choir is omnipotent as hes effectively connected to all of us. He could've killed us all without a single movement if he so wished had it not been for his own ideals.
But The Harmonious Choir is not an Aeon. He is not some all powerful higher dimensional being. Thus they can never truly create a perfect world. There will always be flaws.
And notably, "Real Death" can still occur. And this is one of the many ways one can escape the Dream of the Order.
Another "flaw" so to speak is that those striding the path of Nihility will be unaffected by it. They will not be under the tune of the Harmonious Choir. And a more subjective flaw is that it is quite literally too perfect. This is why Robin awakes of her own free will, and why MC + Welt begin doubting their victory and if it was truly real.

• Firefly's Deaths.

First Death is to SuD. Second death is a real "Death", which is what let's Firefly awaken from the Dream of Order. And third death is a possibility that did not come to pass, which is being eternally trapped within the Dream of Order. Not much to say.

• Raiden Bosenmori Mei

That is her true name. Her end goal is pure nihility. To reach Device IX, which is the death of Nihility itself. This does not mean she is the same Raiden Mei of Honkai Impact 3rd, just an alternate world Raiden Mei as devs explain. Very simple one but eh.
Frebass is also confirmed dead but I didn't take a screenshot.

• Gallagher as Penacony

Gallagher, the History Fictionlogist, created Gallagher (Penacony) as an amalgamation of the wishes, dreams, traits, etc of the people of Penacony. Penacony/Gallagher is a lie, a fiction, representing the people and guiding the people or Penacony within the World of Penacony made by Mikhail. It is also extremely similar to the real history fictionologist in personality, while also having traits based on Mikhail. After all who better to represent Penacony's people than Mikhail himself? Equally it being so similar to the real history fictionologist is why Gallagher is his most genuine lie yet.
Gallagher on it's own is a reward and reminder for the dedication and unwavering trailblaze spirit of Mikhail. But once a Fiction is understood, it ceases to be. All the Hounds of Penacony...and Gallagher himself. It is unknown whether this rule applies to the original history fictionologist themselves.

• Sunday's Philosophy

Sunday and FGO Goetia are pretty similar. They're both naive powerful rational figures who are disgusted at the pain that mankind suffers, and wish to remove pain from the equation entirely by removing free will and death from it. While also creating a World for Man by Man. Rather than a World by God for Man. They believe that by creating the ideal world, where no pain happens...where no loss happens...where no hunger or war happens. Where all scenery and shit is perfect. Then everyone will eternally be happy, grateful, and "alive".
“How can novelty of surroundings abroad and becoming acquainted with foreign scenes or cities be of any help? All that dashing about turns out to be quite futile. And if you want to know why all this running away cannot help you, the answer is simply this: you are running away in your own company. You have to lay aside the load on your spirit. Until you do that, nowhere will satisfy you.”
But it's a delusion. It's a dream that runs away from reality. You aren't living. You're escaping from living. It ignores why pain happens. Pain is the result of caring. It ignores why life is so beautiful. Because it is short. With what little time one has, it is given importance. And it ignores why that importance can even be possible--because humans retain agency. This was also why Socrates disliked the idea of removing human agency.
If you remove the free will of Mankind, you remove their ability too choose. Resulting in a artificial happiness that's in of itself flawed. Because there's nothing to be happy for. There's nothing to care about. You live your life eternally under the illusion of bliss. But either it has no meaning as you never suffer or die or even make a choice. Or it is merely a dream with all the aforementioned traits. What Goetia and Sunday believe in, is locking mankind in a cage under the ideal of maintaining their "life without suffering".
But even if the Bird will fly and fall to its death by being released, or it may fly too close to the sun and burn as a result--it would still be happier than under the illusion of a cage as it had the agency to live its own life. Rather than have its life lived out for it.
And the only way to truly live, is to face reality rather than escape it.
“Once you have rid yourself of the affliction there, though, every change of scenery will become a pleasure. You may be banished to the ends of the earth, and yet in whatever outlandish corner of the world you may find yourself stationed, you will find that place, whatever it may be like, a hospitable home.”
Sure. You may suffer. But that's living. And suffering is merely a sign that you are living. And the key to life isn't to pretend that change never happens or pain doesn't happen and to hide in a dream. It's to face that pain, make the most of the beauty that remains in the world, and move on. Through your own agency. This is why Firefly is pissed when Sunday considers her weak and in need of a illusionary paradise. She may be suffering, but she faces it anyway and lives out what remains of her life by her own choice.
Anyway here's a few more quotes to emphasize the idea of 2.2 from fiction and philosophy.
If you don't get what you want, you suffer; if you get what you don't want, you suffer; even when you get exactly what you want, you still suffer because you can't hold on to it forever. Your mind is your predicament. It wants to be free of change. Free of pain, free of the obligations of life and death. But change is law and no amount of pretending will alter that reality.
The secret of change is to focus all of your energy not on fighting the old, but on building the new.
Both from Socrates.
Dr. Ratio: The Path of Erudition has neither reason nor logic. While geniuses wander among the stars, the ordinary can't even trace their footsteps. Those less gifted have no choice but to walk alone, enduring a lifetime of tumbles and triumphs... Dr. Ratio: ...but even a life marked by failure is a life worth living — it is only in moments of solitude and despair, when help is absent, that fools grasp how to pick themselves up. Dr. Ratio: I have a fastidious nature — I cannot stand fools, idiots, or imbeciles. Seeing them fills me with dread. Regrettably, this space station is just like the Intelligentsia Guild — devoid of geniuses and filled with mediocrity. Screwllum: You wish to uproot the researchers' blind worship of geniuses. Dr. Ratio: I am only laying out my questions. As for the answers... They'll find them themselves. Dr. Ratio: Pursuit tinged with negativity is still pursuit, and it is capable of leading us to the right conclusion. For the masses of the mediocre to reach a level of awareness — this is a necessary rite of passage.
```Dr. Roman: ...Goetia.
Dr. Roman: You said you had no need of the name “King of Mages” anymore. I'll take it back, then.
Solomon: I am Solomon, King of Mages. Goetia, it is I who shall read you your last rites.
Solomon: ...Life always comes to an end. Life is a pilgrimage of suffering.
Solomon: But it is not a story of death and separation.```
``` Goetia: I'm sick of it! No matter what happens, they just disappear, and only fear remains!
Goetia: Every human's life is a story of hate and despair! It is a terrible thing to watch!
C：Romani Archaman: That's what you fail to understand, Goetia.
C：Romani Archaman: Of course nothing is eternal, and pain awaits us all in the end.
C：Romani Archaman: But that doesn't make life a story of despair. Not at all.
C：Romani Archaman: It's a fight against death and separation in what precious little time one is given. It's a repetition of meeting and parting, despite knowing there's an end.
C：Romani Archaman: ...Humans' stories are dazzling, brief journeys, like the twinkling of the stars. They are stories of love and hope.```
And in reply to somebody who asked what I believe the answer to "why does life slumber? - so that we can wake up from the dream" means and how it relates to Ritsuka's own answer to Goetia whose quite similar to Sunday.
Both are the same in a way.
Ironically this can be answered perfectly by a superman quote of all things.
Dreams aren't meant to be an escape from reality. We dream so that we can wake up, with hopes to move forward in reality. To face reality and fight for our wishes. To live for our values. To struggle and fight to make our dreams and reality the same. Rather than use dreams as an escape from reality.
This is how we live. Through hopes and dreams born from struggling for our ideals.

• Jing Yuan

To people saying Black Swan was a case of unreliable narration, I already explained it. In previous patches, Jing Yuan frequently implies he's an Emanator. Such as when he claimed that only another's aeons emanator can escape his sight on the Luofu. Or the fact that he is able to strike down Phantilya's body fully powered by the Destruction, once it loses its connection to the Arbor--an Abundance Artifact made by an Aeon that grants absurd amounts of immortality and abundance power. Equally Welt's statement about the Generals confirms they are all comparable to a Lord Ravager.
If one might ask how Jing Yuan can be an Emanator even though it's passed down or its not free-form power. I direct you to the Hoyolab post explaining Emanators. To specifically quote.
"The method through which THEY grant power and the extent of the power also varies significantly"
That is to say, it's all up to the Aeon. Including the process through which an Emanator gains power. And by definition, being granted the blessing to access an Aeon's path is what an Emanator is. It is different to being blessed with an item. As for why it matters narratively? Because the Hunt and Destruction, and the Lord Ravagers and Generals are narrative mirrors. There are Seven Generals and Seven Lord Ravagers, each representing concepts of their respective path. Phantilya and Jing Yuan are mirrors of eachother. The deceptive strategists of their paths. Both the Hunt and Destruction are paths which lead to finality (An end in CN context). Both are led by young Aeons that hold a greater connection to their faction than other Aeons, and bring great destruction in their wars. Etc. Narratively speaking, the Destruction and Hunt are intentionally designed to hold major resemblances. So it especially matters that the Generals, and their stands (Spirits - As confirmed by the Guidebook that they all have their own special LL type spirit), are Emanators narratively.
As for why Jing Yuan isn't blowing up planets or galaxies? Two simple answers. Emanators have no set power scale. It is up to the Aeon. But thanks to Sunday and Phantilya (As well as Welt giving us a basic standard for the Generals), we do know Lightning Lord is absurdly powerful. Just that it is concentrated raw power unlike Lord Ravagers destructive power or Acheron and her Nihility hax. If Lord Ravagers hit you with a nuke enveloping cities, LL hits you with that same power concentrated to your face. This is likely why everytime JY uses Lightning Lord, if the enemy isn't immortal or dissapearing off screen, it ends in one blow. But this comes with its own flaws of JY needing to plan ahead for an opening for LL to strike or just take the enemy off guard.
Sorry for the lengthy explanations. Hope it was a good read and or helped people understand 2.2 better.

[ Notice: Not my article. Link: https://4womaninthewilderness.blogspot.com/2012/09/someone-on-panel-of-broadcast-at.html ]
Someone on the panel of a broadcast (at "Friends of Jehovah's Witnesses") asked for scriptures to enforce Rev.21:2, that indeed the 144000 will materialize to perform their earthly rule (Rev.5:10), and that it is God's will to give them the double portion as firstborn sons (Rev.20:6; Rev.14:4; Deut.21:17; Isa.61:7); meaning both the heavens, AND the earth as their inheritance (Psalm2:8; Luke22:29; Gen.22:18; 28:14,12,13; Gal.3:29) (Psalm37:11,29; Rev.19:8; Psalm2:8)
Those scriptures are: Heb.1:6 and Acts3:20,21
For those who wish to see more of what the scriptures say about this subject, here are a few articles: http://pearl-materialize.blogspot.com/ / http://jacobsladder-obadiah.blogspot.com/ and if you want something light; http://pearl-holycity.blogspot.com/
My directory of articles is located at http://www.blogger.com/profile/13281232149590681155 and the main page for current "questions and answers" is: http://4womaninthewilderness.blogspot.com/
It seems that the "new creation" being both flesh and spirit was a difficult concept for some to grasp. Perhaps the illustration of our own human offspring will help with this. When we have a child, is that child made of the mother, or the father? Although that child is made of both, it stands as a unique individual from both parents (new). The bible makes clear the glorious freedom that this new creation these sons of God, (Rom.8:21) will enjoy; and we should not cut YHWH's hand short, in His creative abilities (Matt.22:29; Dan.4:35; Psalm115:3; Isa.55:9; 14:24) to give these ones both a spiritual and fleshly life, as Christ also had after his resurrection (1Pet.3:18; 1Cor.15:44; John21:14; 1Cor.15:6; Acts1:11; Rev.21:2; 22:17). This new creation will have had (like Christ did) TWO NATURAL BIRTHS. One as flesh, and one as spirit. (John3:6; Col.2:9) Like Christ, they will be both sons of men, and sons of God (Matt.12:8; Mark8:29; 9:7) Therefore, both kinds of existence will be natural to them.
Anyone with any question, can contact me at [pearl144000@hotmail.com](mailto:pearl144000@hotmail.com)
Thanks, Pearl PS. The address of the recorded webcast is http://www.friendsofjehovahswitnesses.com/2012/06/09/who-are-the-real-witnesses-of-jehovah/ A panel discusses the subject for about an hour and a half, and then there are comments at the end, which I participated in before getting cut off ;) I am working on an article on this subject which I hope to release soon.
~ADDITIONAL UPDATE:~ This is a reply from a reader:
Pearl – Thanks. I looked up every scripture you quoted. Although these are all familiar to Bible Students, I am always impressed by your knowledge of the Bible and the scriptural support you present to make your case. I tried to put myself in your shoes and I can see how you can come to the conclusion that the “New Creation” is both flesh and spirit. I agree partly In the sense that “we have this treasure (Holy Spirit) in earthen vessels.” (2 Cor 4:7). We are certainly begotten to a hope reserved in heaven (1 Pet 1:3-4). Yes , the glorified New Creation (body members of Christ) will inherit and reign over the earth. However this does not prove that these glorified Saints will have bodies of flesh. At times, angels have materialized into bodies of flesh temporarily, and certainly the glorified body of Christ will be able to do the same. However, angels are spirit beings, even if they can at times be permitted to materialize. The glorified body of Christ are Spirit beings who will have the ability to materialize, just as Jesus did in the 40 days following his resurrection.Now, if you want to take the position that the glorified body members will spend most of their time in a materialized form, my response is that I don’ t think so, but I don’t really know. As far as I can tell, the Bible Is not clear on this. If we can make mobile calls and send text messages, certainly materializing is not the only communication option available to the glorified Church.A list of scriptures to make the case that Jehovah, Jesus, the angels and the glorified Church are exclusively Spirit beings, not fleshly, can be found by clicking on this link: Jesus said, “my flesh I give for the life of the world.” (John 6:51) Jesus paid the Ransom price with his perfect human life to satisfy justice “a life for a life.” (Deut 19:21) I don’t think he can take it back. Nor can we. Just my thoughts.
~MY REPLY:~ You may want to meditate on John10:17,18 along with Heb.1:6, Acts3:20,21 and Rev.21:2,3 Those are just a few scriptures. The articles contain more, and there are more articles to come about this subject, with additional scriptural backing. This truth is reason for great joy. Jesus could have performed his miracles from an impersonal distance also. But out of love, and to build the faith of those shown grace (John11:41,42) his touch was very loving and personal. Jesus also properly declared his work as credited to God, as it will also be, in the Kingdom to come (John14:12,2; Rev.22:2,17; Gen.22:18) The sons of God (who aid in releasing creation from enslavement to corruption), will be "revealed" (Rom.8:19, 21). I realize that these things are new. But new things are due (Dan.12:4,9,10; Rev.22:10; 11:3; 10:7,8,11; 1:1)
Those new things will be given by means of the "anointed slaves", and "two prophets", but I am not referring to BS's or JW's, but rather to the anointed prophets of Rev.11:3 (whose new prophecies will neither be accepted, nor believed. In fact, their words will "torment" those already set in their own minds. Rev.11:4,5,6,7,8,9, 10). Previous to their message, the world is still in darkness and confusion. Jesus, through them, gives the last witness of this world. They are from the womb of the dawn, the start of Day (Psalm110:3; Rev.12:5; 2Pet.1:19; Rev.22:16; Luke1:76, 77,78,79; Matt.17:11; Dan.2:35; Prov.4:18). My points may not always be clearly stated. But the truth of scripture will beam into eyes that are simple. Hearts that "keep on asking", will be granted understanding. (Luke8:10; Matt.11:25)

So for a while or so I've been playing older Sonic games just to see if they still held up. So far a majority of the games I played were at the very least good with some of the best ones being Sonic Adventure 2 and Sonic rush. But something that might be my biggest Sonic hot take ever is that Heroes is one of the worst games in the entire Sonic series(unpopular opinion I know but let me explain myself). And just a heads up this is gonna be a long one because I got a lot to say about this game.
Because this game has a lot of aspects that I don’t like, I'm going to first touch on some aspects I actually like about the game. Even though not every character was written the best I will say some stand out characters I enjoyed are Cream and Omega, especially Omega but I wanna touch on Cream first. Ever since reading the IDW comics I've always had a soft spot for Cream just from how innocent and adorable she was and that sentiment continued with how she was paired with Blaze in Sonic Rush. I was admittedly nervous about how she would be portrayed in Heroes for reasons I'll get into later but she was handled alright. Nothing too groundbreaking but she kept her cute nature and even had some small moments of sass which was nice. The real star of the show was E-123 Omega. He really only has one thing on his mind with destroying Eggman and doesn’t really go through any sort of character arc, but that’s fine with me because the dude’s funny as hell with how aggressive and angry he is. He doesn’t have much of a face or eyes that are able to emote but you can still tell exactly what he’s thinking. I can’t explain why but every piece of dialogue that comes out of his…mouth?....speakers?...is hysterical. From “ANNIHILATE” to “USELESS CONSUMER MODELS” even down to when he says “GOOD” every time you pop an item box or balloon every quote is comedy gold with how monotone his voice is. The chemistry each team has with each other is nice to watch since from their dialogue you can tell that these trios have known each other for a while, are good friends with one another, or in Team Dark’s case just work friends(but their banter is still entertaining with how Omega keeps telling them to stay focused). And the music is good but as a Sonic fan that’s par for the course at this point. What I’m Made Of is a stand out banger for me.
But unfortunately that’s where all the positives end as we move into the negatives with one of the biggest being the physics of the game being poorly optimized. Throughout my playthrough I have run into so many bugs or victims of poor game design that I’ve lost count. But over half of my deaths have been due to the fact that there are no invisible walls to act as safety nets for players incase they misclick or even do something as simple as do a homing attack or perform a 3 hit combo with a power character, the latter happening way too often because power characters are the most reliable way to deal with enemies. Enemies bumping you are also a common way to die but not because of running out or rings, but because of the lack of walls keeping you on the platforms. Speaking of the homing attack, with how the movement physics work with speed characters I never use them because they end up being too slippery to control with instances where it feels like I'm fighting for control just so I can move forward in a straight line or hit a boost pad on a loop. The Light Speed Dash works whenever it feels like it and there’s no way to aim the homing attack so you pretty much have to press A twice and pray that rn-Jesus does you nice, otherwise you’re falling down a pit like you’re Scrooge McDuck diving into a vault of gold coins. And remember how I said enemies bumping you off cliffs was a common way to die? Well they can also just combo you for free because this game has no invincibility frames meaning you can get hit once and then instantly die if you or one of your teammates doesn’t pick up a ring right after being hit. This is especially apparent in horde fights like Robot Storm where you can get easily swarmed. And a staple mechanic from Sonic Adventure 2 that was butchered in this followup was the rail grinding. It was super fun to build up speed by balancing and crouching but now you just mash B with any real sense of speed being from a speed character. And heaven forbid you decided to grind rail with a flight character unless you like sliding at the speed of a snail, but you might wanna do that anyway to be save because if you switch rails the game doesn’t magnetize your character to it risking you to just shoot yourself off the map just for swapping rails or getting off of a rail.
Another awful aspect with the game is the team mechanic itself. It’s an interesting idea on paper to be able to swap between 3 characters to perform different actions based on what the level throws at you. But the problem with that is not every formation is balanced. The flying formation is awful in every way. The totem formation itself looks weird and looks especially janky with how it looks when going off a set of springs or going through a dash panel loop. How it controls itself makes absolutely no sense either; you jump and jump again to fly which drains a meter, which makes sense since Tails worked in a similar way back in Sonic 2 and still works like that in every other 2D classic style game. But I didn’t learn until the last story that the gauge only drains if you move forwards and won’t drain if you don’t move forward which not only makes no sense but doesn’t work like that in Sonic 2 at all. And whenever the meter runs out you might think that you would just glide down to the floor right? No. Instead the game halts all of your momentum and has you fall straight down like a boulder making flying based platforming impossible which was not the case in Sonic 2. And for some reason there’s a limit for how high you can go even though there’s already a limit you can fly for. Wanna know what game allows you to fly as long as you want until you run out of stamina? SONIC FUCKING 2 ON THE SEGA GENESIS/MEGA DRIVE. Sonic Heroes not only came out 10 years after Sonic 2 but was released on more powerful consoles so I'm baffled that they didn’t even try to make any of this shit work in any similar fashion. And this gets even worse for Sonic Heroes because you know how I just described how they would have improved the flying mechanics in Sonic Heroes? Well it WORKS EXACTLY HOW I JUST EXPLAINED IN SONIC ADVENTURE FOR THE THE DREAMCAST 1999. What the hell were they thinking with this!? This makes absolutely no fucking sense. And the Thunder Shoot attack? It doesn’t do much except paralyze enemies and hit targets meant to help you move forward in levels. Except it only does one of these things correctly since the game doesn’t auto target the targets meaning 90% of the time you’ll be constantly throwing your teammates into the ether while missing entirely as you try again and again to change your angle to hit the target just so you can move on with the average 10 minute level. And the switches you’re meant to pull are janky in their own right but the switches you have to fly for are the worst since no matter how close you get to that switch the game won’t register what you’re trying to do which is annoying as balls. And as the finishing touch all flying character have no differences in gameplay despite slight animations and apparently they have this unique attack they can do if they don’t have party members to throw with Thunder Shoot by pressing B again...but the game doesn’t tell you that and even knew that you’ll never see it in practice because if you toss a teammate with Thunder Shoot they’ll come back almost instantly.
And the biggest failure is that you can no longer spin dash in this game. It’s no big deal, it’s not like they removed one of Sonic’s most essential moves in his arsenal that was present all the way from Sonic 2 and was even in Sonic Adventure 1 and 2, useless crap like that. Instead you have to use the stupid Rocket Accel which can’t be activated instantly like the spin dash with instead having the player get a running start to have your teammate boost you forward that doesn’t go as far as the spin dash in Sonic Adventure 1 and 2. It’s an alright concept that would be fine to keep if the spin dash remained in the game and not replaced with some trash faker that doesn’t hold up to the original. Which leaves us with the power formation which is the best formation by far but not by much. Power is the easiest one to control since it allows you to properly control your character at a moderate speed, a novel concept I know. But combo attacks that involve the character moving forward in a short burst are risky to use since you could wind up pushing yourself off the map which happens way more often than you’d think and more often than it should. And because they have to share data with all the playable teams they away Knuckles’ ability to climb walls in favor of a tacky looking team glide for platforming just like they took away the Spin Dash.
Another team related mechanic the game introduces is something called the “Team Blast” which has a gauge fill up every time you deal damage to enemies or collect rings no matter how you collect said rings(remember this for later). When a team gauge is filled you can perform a Team Blast by pressing Z that acts as a screen wipe that clears almost every enemy on screen. I say almost because it doesn’t really remove every enemy on screen because some doof over at Sonic Team thought it would be a good idea to give an ultimate attack that’s meant to wipe out all enemies on screen with a limited range, which is smaller than you’d think by the way. Each Team Blast has their own special effect that appears for around 10 seconds after the attack is used which i’ll be talking about when I talk about each team on their own but know that after Team Sonic’s Team Blast Sonic will be able to use the Light Speed Attack from Adventure 1 and 2…but that’s useless when you’re able to still fight as Knuckles and it fucks up your Thunder Shoot when attacking bosses.
And the next fancy mechanic they try adding in is the new level system. And I hate this system so much. The idea of the level system is that your character starts off dealing an ok amount of damage but can get stronger the more you level up by collecting orbs that can drop from enemies. Speed characters get a stronger spin dash, flight characters get a stronger Thunder Shoot, and power characters get stronger combo enders. The problem is that in terms of combat no Sonic game has ever worked like this. For the most part every enemy in a Sonic game that came out before and after Heroes is able to be one shot by a simple jump, roll, spin dash, homing attack, mech shot, boost or punch with the only exceptions I can name off the top of my head being Sonic Rush, Sonic Unleashed’s night stages, and Sonic Frontiers. But those 3 examples are excusable since with Rush it’s only one enemy that has more than 1 HP that doesn’t spawn often and with the other 2 being based more on combat than speeding through levels as fast as possible. Your team will only be satisfying to play after everyone as at the maximum level of level 3 which can be difficult to do since whichever orbs enemies drop when defeated are not only random for when exactly they’ll drop but it’s also completely random who the level up is meant for. Imagine needing to level up your power character to get through a large horde of enemies but instead all the levels go to the other 2 teammates that are virtually useless in a fight. “Ah dammit, I needed a power orb to get to level 2…ah well might as well give my other teammates their 50th orb of the fight.” The only ways to get guaranteed levels for a certain character is with certain item boxes and balloons scattered throughout the level and with checkpoints but the latter only works for the character leading the formation when touching the checkpoint, not to mention they’re single use only. And say you grinded all those levels so you can blitz through this level, guess what, if you die all of your levels get reset and it doesn’t matter if you only lose a life or game over. And i’ve made it very clear how easy it is to unintentionally kill yourself in this game.
Something else that isn’t properly explained is the hidden difficulty system. The problem is that each team campaign has a hidden difficulty system but the game doesn’t tell you that at all unless you want to willingly listen to Omochao(note that I played the tutorial and afterwards I actively avoided his tips on the main menu). The difficulty from easy to hard is Teams Rose, Sonic, Dark, and Chaotix being a gimmick team but the game orders them from Sonic, Dark, Rose, Chaotix which is bad game design because not only are people gonna wanna play as the main character Sonic the Hedgehog, but with how the stories are laid out players would instinctively play from left to right causing them to play the game on normal, hard, easy, and then gimmick which doesn’t make too much sense. I knew the difficulty levels before going in but I played in order of Sonic, Rose, Dark, Chaotix because I like Sonic as a character. But what I wasn’t prepared for is that this game is kinda hard even on the normal difficulty because the game is full of jank that can just kill you for playing the game as intended.
But now for Team Rose and Team Dark. Team Rose is so piss easy that it’s insulting for players who are well affirmed with the series. For one they force you to play the tutorial even after you’ve completed a story previously. Which btw this is the most bullshit tutorial in the history of gaming. Most games have pop ups with button commands and visuals to help the player out or they let the player figure things out themselves. Sonic Heroes does neither of these but instead have this little annoying ass robotic fuck hold your hand throughout the entire thing. What makes this worse is that every time he pops up to tell you what to do your character is stuck in place as you gotta wait for him to shut up so you can play the game only for you to be stopped by his rambling again and again and again until it’s finally over. And most of the skills players can learn on their own since it’s not that hard to just press a random button and get immediate feedback of “oh this button does this? cool beans''. Their moveset is also broken with Amy’s tornado attack being a moving projectile meaning you don’t have to willingly get in contact with the enemy in order to use it, Big having a combo that doesn’t have him move so he can’t fall off the map along with a broken belly flop that’s good for not only combat but weirdly enough platforming, and Cream…she’s just the flier. Their Team Blast is just a win button for no good reason. Not only does it give all of your teammates a free level, not only does it give your team a shield, but it makes your entire team INVINCIBLE. Ok game I get it, stop treating me like a baby. And the finishing touch is that all the levels are cut in half. Awesome. Setting up unrealistic expectations for newcomers and disrespecting older players in one foul swoop.
And then there’s Team Dark…oh Team Dark…when they said this was the “hard” mode they were lying. Because it should’ve been called “kaizo” mode. Enemies are everywhere including places they shouldn’t be, the amount of rings available is greatly reduced, And the bosses become borderline impossible to beat at times(except for the rival fights but we’ll get to that). And not only are there more enemies but the stronger variants of said enemies spawn more frequently. And you’d think their Team Blast would make things better, well yes and no but here’s why. Their Team Blast freezes time completely and I mean completely. Rings don’t spin, projectiles don’t move, even the timer doesn’t tick down. But the most annoying part is if you’re using your Team Blast to try and move forward the puzzles are stuck in time too until the gauge runs out so you gotta sit and wait to move on. And even after you move on the game will probably toss 3 giant armored robots at you at once that fight like mini-bosses(if you know you know) immediately after your Team Blast just ran out.
But before I talk about the final team with Team Chaotix I wanna talk about the level design! Yippee! Except not really because it’s all terrible. The locations and themes are unique in their own right but each level suffers from their own issues coupled with all the bugs that can kill you outright without the player having any time to think about what just happened. Ignoring the main bugs, Seaside Hill and Ocean Palace are fine first levels in all honesty. Power Plant’s elevator section is long and tedious and it’s worse if you have a character than use the Light Speed Dash along with a super stressful rising lava section that you gotta hurry up to climb or else you’re dead. But oooh nooo it’s not that easy because the lava moves faster along with the player which means if you’re too slow, you die and if you’re too fast…you die. Casino Park and Bingo Highway have pinball mechanics that will leave you stuck in one of the tables forever unless you’re a pinball god or just lucky. And we just love games marketed at children that encourage gambling addictions, especially if said gambling minigames are rng. Rail Canyon and Bullet Station rely entirely on rails which don’t work properly as I said before and Bullet Station in particular has a cannon that’s supposed to shoot you onto another rail track but in actuality it fires you straight into the death zone if you’re unaware about this and hold forward…and because it’s a Sonic the Hedgehog game you’re gonna do that. “Gotta go fast” and all that. Frog Forest and Lost Jungle have flying flowers that are so jittery they’re impossible to control, swinging vines with an awkward timing window, and it ends on a chase sequence against a giant crocodile that relies on the janky vines that last way too long. Hang Castle and Mystic Mansion are puzzle-filled mazes with ghost enemies that show up at the worst of times to jumpscare you…which is all the time, and everything else(we all know these levels sucks moving on). Egg Fleet and Final Fortress have tons of bullshit cannons that can home in on you, can snipe you out of the air which can hit you out of a platforming segment and send you falling to your death, crumbling floors, everything’s in the sky so there’s almost no floor to stand on, and rails. The worst part about it all is that all 4 campaign’s use the same exact 14 levels. You heard me right. ALL 4 CAMPAIGNS USE THE EXACT SAME LEVELS. Sonic Adventure 2 had 2 campaigns with levels that heavily differed from each other one way or another. Each campaign has either a speed level, a treasure level, or a mech level and even then it’s not equal to how many levels each type of level gets and each level has a different setting and music track. Rush is the one case I can think of where the campaigns had minor differences. Only thing is that those differences are huge. The levels are the same but they’re in a different order for Sonic and Blaze, Blaze plays completely differently from Sonic, Blaze gets her own music tracks, and Sonic has to use special stages to get the Chaos Emeralds while Blaze doesn’t need any to get the Sol Emeralds. And at the end of every other stage you gotta face off against-
Bosses! They all suck for different reasons. The mech fights boil down to mashing homing attacks like it’s a Mario Party minigame, the rival team fights are a joke, and the horde fights…oh my god the horde fights. I’m just gonna rip the band-aid off here. ROBOT. FUCKING. STORM. This is not only the worst “level” in Sonic Heroes but the worst boss fight out of any Sonic game I have ever played. Team Sonic’s is hard enough as is, Team Rose’s is a pushover(as is every boss in their campaign really), Team Chaotix…we’ll get to them later. But Team Dark’s has to be the boss fight that throws the bullshit at you. Don’t believe me well then let’s see here, we got; a long robot gauntlet that feels like it takes years to get over with, more enemies that spawn with a lot of them being the stronger variants of the enemies we’ve already be accustomed to, multiple giant hammer wielding robots paired with either robots that heal them or robots that sap all your rings which because it’s a Sonic game it’s basically life steal, and because this game was programmed with monkeys holding hammers the enemies will constantly knock your ass off the map and there is NOTHING you can do about it except pray. Pray to rn-Jesus that you can make it out alive with what little sanity is left in your body. And after all that Eggman has the balls to say what I'd call the worst line in any Sonic game, “Don’t get too excited boys! Those were the easy ones!”. It’s genuinely unbelievable that such a level exists. This was marketed towards kids. How is fucking little Casey who just got Sonic Heroes as their first video game gonna beat this shit? He’s not. Because the developers didn’t think about that just like they didn’t think about anything in this game except making a “fun” gimmick. But that’s not all. Because there’s one more boss...
Egg Emperor…and the bullshit continues. I definitely know what true evil is when facing this boss all right. The fight consists of running across a few platforms before making your way over to a bigger arena. The boss only has 3 attacks but 2 of them are what make this boss a slog to get through. He can fire energy waves by swinging his lance like he’s Cloud Strife and a charge attack that has no weaknesses that the game says activates whenever you’re too far from him. Because this is a Sonic game I figured that meant he can only charge if you’re too slow, but if you manage to run ahead of him he’ll charge anyway. But if you get too close to him you could risk either getting hit by a lance beam or by his massive hurtbox. And you might be thinking “why don’t you homing attack the body at that point?” and that’s because he has a shield that blocks all attacks and it’s only worth attacking his body after the second part of the fight where you go to that arena section. In the arena section you have to destroy some cannons and defeat some enemies before getting to the big man himself. You can make him drop his shield by using Thunder Shoot and follow up with your Power character but you probably wouldn’t do as much damage as you were hoping for since in order to do any real damage you’ll have to level your Power character up to level 3 which could take forever in this fight. After a certain amount of time the boss will flee causing you to chase after him again and repeat the boss cycle. But don’t go too fast because then you’ll wind up smacking right into his body or he’ll swat you out the air like a fly with a lance beam attack. And you can’t go too slow or else he’ll just charge at you which if he does it at the wrong time he can intercept your approach and boop you off the map meaning you’ll be dead. And if you thought that was enough, because the developers don’t know how to properly make things different between campaigns you have to fight this motherfucker 4 SEPARATE TIMES. And it doesn’t matter what campaign you go through because you’ll always have a tough time regardless of difficulty. I know it’s the final boss and that it’s meant to be a challenge but holy shit tone it down, there’s kids playing this shit.
And the last campaign involves Team Chaotix and they’re by far my favorite team to play as…and they still have problems. Instead of going through levels the same way you did 3 separate times already it instead focuses on missions. And I have mixed feelings about this. It’s great because it finally keeps things fresh and gives the player another way to experience the game that isn’t platforming focused. The problem is the fact that it’s still the same levels, levels that were meant for an action platformer instead of things finding an x amount of…I don’t know seashells. While the treasure hunting stages were my least favorite aspect of Sonic Adventure 2 they at least did a better job with the concept than some of the collecting missions in Heroes since the maps are built specifically for this kind of gameplay and there was at least a tracker telling you if you were going in the right direction. The Chaotix has you searching through levels you’re meant to speed through while not giving you any sort of tracker to tell you if you’re in the right direction. The Casino Park one in particular was the worst one because of the instructions: “Win 200 Rings!”. Anyone who sees this probably assumes they mean to use the slot machines since we’re a casino level with slot machines built into the pinball tables. But the thing is you can easily just collect 200 rings by playing the stage. But the game doesn’t say collect 200 rings, it says win 200 rings which is the dumbest piece of misinformation in this game and that’s saying something since this game loves to withhold information from the player for no reason. Like did you know you can fire your Thunder Shoot at nothing to charge your team gauge? Or that even though the game says to use a Speed character’s tornado to deal with shield enemies Power characters can punch right through them no problem? You probably didn’t because the game doesn’t tell you this. Anyway the stealth missions are the best ones because Espio’s invisibility is broken. And their Team Blast causes any enemy destroyed to turn into rings and for the duration of the meter any enemy destroyed turns into rings. This is the most broken move in the game. Why? Well remember when I said that the Team Gauge charges from attacking enemies and collecting rings? Well the game counts any rings collected towards the meter. Meaning if you destroy enough enemies at once with this attack you can immediately get your gauge back to repeatedly use again and again. It’s such an easy exploit to pull off that I'm not even surprised that this was left unchecked in all honesty. It even makes the dreaded Robot Storm look like a joke.
So that’s it. You beat all the 4 campaigns and you’d think that it’s time for the usual last story, right?...right? Well unfortunately special stages make a return and with that the 7 Chaos Emeralds. And this is by far the worst one. In the past special stages were unlocked by method of holding at least 50 rings until the end of the stage and jumping into a warp ring in Sonic 1 or holding at least 50 rings and jumping into a star post in Sonic 2 or by jumping into a giant warp ring hidden in the level in Sonic 3 & Knuckles. Sonic Heroes decided they wanna be a bit quirky in a horrible way. In order to access the special stages in this game you have to collect a key hidden in the stage and bring that key with you until the end of the level or mission in order to unlock the special stages and collect the Emeralds…there’s so much wrong with this…Not only is it already easy for the game to send your ass to the shadow realm for existing but if you get hit and lose your key it doesn’t just fall out like rings do, it disappears completely meaning you’ll have to reload at a checkpoint or worse, restart the entire level every single time you get hit. And after you get through that bullshit we get to the special stage itself…if you’ve played this game you already know what’s up. The special stage acts similarly to the half pipe in Sonic 2 but except it’s a full enclosed pipe you run around in. The goal is to collect orbs to fill your boost meter and speed ahead to catch the emerald. It sounds very simple but remember, this game was coded by monkeys with hammers so the physics don’t function. Your character will constantly jitter around while moving making positioning yourself impossible when trying to collect the orbs. You have to pick between a Power or Speed character because Flight characters are too slow to do anything but even then you’re picking your poison. Do you wanna control your character better at the cost of speed or do you wanna go fast in order to get the emerald quickly at the cost of controlling your character? ‘Cause that’s exactly what it feels like. And I'm still not done because each Emerald is locked into every other stage. Sonic 1, 2, and 3 & Knuckles allows you to get the Emeralds as easy as the first 2 or 3 zones if you know what you’re doing. If you miss an emerald in one of the few stages they appear in you’ll have to repeat the level and do everything I just explained ALL OVER AGAIN. WHAT KIND OF COLLECTOR HATING SADISTIC BASTARD THOUGHT THIS WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA WHEN THE EMERALDS ARE REQUIRED TO BEAT ALL OF THE STORY!? Before going in I knew how bad the special stages were while being blissfully unaware how bad the unlock requirements were so I used save states(yes I used an emulator) to collect the emeralds in a timely fashion. Not only did this end up taking longer than expected even with save states but I was forced to keep using them for every time I got hit, sent off the stage, or missed the Emerald causing my save file to corrupt and erase all my data. Which caused the auto save to fail and use exclusively save states to progress. And let me tell you, nothing’s scarier than booting up the game and discovering all of your save data has been completely erased even after you completed 2 campaigns previously.
Before I get into the last couple topics of discussion I'll touch on some minor things that don’t warrant their own paragraph individually. The voice acting is hit or miss with stand outs like Omega and Sonic and then there’s instances of some of the worst voice acting in the series with Tails where they deadass brought an 8 year old to voice the character. “Look at all those Eggman’s robots!”. But it gets weirder since Cream was voiced by an actual voice actress and Charmy was voiced by a teenager. Doesn’t help that the game has the characters not stop talking for every single damn action in the game. It’s the same cheesy lines for the entire playthrough. The game looks ugly with the admittedly improved models having textures that look like they’re plastic toys ready to be sold in some Walmart or Target. The pre rendered cutscenes might be revolutionary at the time but are horribly dated by today’s standards and the in game cutscenes that start at the beginning of boss fights and levels look extremely jittery and stiff with characters’ arms flailing to move into position, Omega’s eyes constantly bugging out, and the camera repeatedly having a stroke. Some assets feel like they are copy/pasted and slapped onto characters that don’t make sense. Omega and Big share the same aura color along with Espio and Sonic sharing the same aura color, purple and blue respectively. Omega’s triple glide animation looks exactly like Knuckles’ even though he could’ve been animated to use his thrusters. Rouge has a weird outfit change that is never used again. Some might think that it could be for censorship reasons but her chest is still exposed through a cleavage slit in the outfit which makes me wonder why they even bothered to change it. Plus her pink eyeshadow is less aesthetically pleasing than her iconic bright blue. It’s unclear if all the teams are doing everything at the same exact time or not making things really confusing.The way the characters are written are all over the place with a mixed bag across the board. Team Dark’s great as characters but then you have Tails who’s portrayed to act like some scaredy baby and Amy who’s been turned into a hyper thirsty yandere that’s willing to beat Sonic into marrying her. But all of that is nothing compared to how dirty they did Shadow.
Every team has their own mini story that drives their plot forwards; Team Sonic has to find and defeat Eggman, Team Rose is looking for their lost friends, Team Chaotix is tryna get the bread, and Omega, specifically Omega, is out to look for Eggman for revenge for locking him in a vault. Shadow though…ok first off, why is he here? He literally sacrificed himself to save the planet Earth from the space colony Ark with characters honoring said sacrifice and mourning his death, Sonic included…But then they decided to bring him back along with amnesia and a clone side story that makes him question who he is. The clone story is the dumbest shit in this entire damn game. As if it wasn’t enough to make him forget all the events of Sonic Adventure 2, which can kinda make sense if he was sent into a coma after crashing on Earth. But now he has to go through some midlife crisis level shit to try and figure out his past and if he’s even real, which spoiler alert: this game doesn’t resolve either plot point. These points were further developed and resolved by the next game; Shadow the Hedgehog which wasn’t the best game by all means but it gave more of a fuck to have a concrete story than Heroes ever did. And what’s worse is if the clones were gonna be brought up again in Shadow the Hedgehog and then be resolved in that same game then what the fuck was the point of doing any of this shit in Heroes!? All that did was leave Shadow’s story on a cliffhanger that accomplished nothing but made fans confused and left them with unanswered questions for 2 years until Shadow the Hedgehog came out.
But finally, after collecting all 7 Chaos Emeralds and beating all 4 Team campaigns you’re rewarded with the Last Story which reveals that Metal Sonic was the real mastermind behind everything that happened in the game so he can copy everyone’s data and assume a powerful new form…that takes way too long to transform into…with Metal Overlord…just to beat Sonic. Not even world domination, just to beat Sonic. While his dedication is admirable it’s a really shallow goal. Plus the buildup towards him being the main big bad isn’t handled as well as it could’ve been. All we get are a background element that people would miss if they’re too focused on just beating the level, an extra animation at the end of a boss cutscene that only appears for Team Sonic and Shadow’s story, and a few lines of dialogue from Team Chaotix’s “client” that makes it clear that it’s Eggman. But it would’ve been better to actually know how all of this happened in the first place. Metal Sonic shows up as Neo Metal Sonic as the first time we see him in this game with no explanation as to how he got this form or how he found out he can copy others’ abilities. Not even a cutscene or backstory from Eggman in the final story, instead he just complains about how they can’t defeat him without the Chaos Emeralds. Without prior knowledge I wouldn’t blame anyone for thinking that Metal Sonic just got a redesign since he hadn't made an appearance in the Adventure era at that time. How cool would it have been to have been given cutscenes showing us Metal Sonic twisting and contorting his body to not only show how he managed to do this in the first place but how far he’s willing to go to beat Sonic without spoiling the final form to leave the audience in suspense before the final act? And him not revealing that he copied Team Rose and Team Chaotix data kinda comes off as him not recognizing their strengths and calling them too weak to copy from, even if he didn’t say so himself. The segment where the teams do their best to weaken Metal Madness for Team Sonic is fine enough except the coding monkeys did it again and made it so that Flying characters can’t do any damage. But then there’s the final battle with Super Team Sonic…Team Super Sonic…uh…a Chaos Emerald powered Team Sonic. Admittedly the fight is really cool with Metal Overlord chucking entire battleships at the player and talking about how he believes he’s the real Sonic as What I’m Made Of blasts in the background. But there’s 2 major things that bring this fight down for me. Sonic Adventure 2 did a similar sequence of the cast of characters help Sonic and Shadow go super and defeat the big bad. Only difference being the buildup was more elaborate and the stakes were higher as if they failed the entire planet was at stake along with the presentation of the final fight being better in every way. One fight takes place in outer space while the other takes place in the sky a vague height above the ground. And most insulting of all they robbed us of bringing back Super Knuckles and Super Tails. This might’ve been because of the retcon of super forms only being possible with male hedgehogs but that was a massive missed opportunity. And after the fight is done Sonic drops one of the corniest one liners in the franchise, the 5th set of unskippable credits scrolls on screen, and the game tells you to do everything again but get to A ranks this time as one final fuck you.
In conclusion the game had a lot of…interesting ideas to say the least in terms of mixing up the Sonic formula. Unfortunately they used too much gas when trying to cook and sent the entire dish ablaze. I think if they let this game simmer a bit more and took at least a year to iron out all the bugs and mishaps since this game was developed in 20 months. As a comparison Sonic Adventure 2 took 18 months to develop and was still better. And while I've made comparisons to past Sonic games I wanna make it clear that I am aware of the flaws those other games have. After all, nothing is perfect. But Sonic Team at least could’ve made sure that their game was worth it in spite of these flaws by tweaking some game mechanics to make them more fun. And feel free to say why you’d think this game is peak Sonic. Alright that’s all, thanks for reading this far and have a fantastic day.

TLDR: How do you keep searching for answers when docs given up on you? Where to go to, what to do. Or am i supposed to really accept CFS at this point?
I been here a year ago, and sadly im here again. With no new answers just more questions. What im hoping is that given the journey others surely have had, they may be able tohelp me navigate my situation.
In short... i feel a little lost and by lost i mean that docs kinda are giving up on me, and i dont know what to do next.
Below i will go through the very nicely put together "what docs have to rule out first", and this is one of my issues alrady.
If i go to my GP and other docs and they tell me "its time to accept its probably CFS" "Its CFS, im gonna pin it down" and "dont let people get into your head, you re done, your journey ends here" And even further my doctor told me "dont worry there is a lot of new research on CFS, with a better perspective then it was before". Im really curious if ya all know what the hell he was talking about???
What i feel is that they got fed up with me trying to get better and trying to find out answers. I feel alone because no one seems to take me seriously, or well they do. But they just want to give me a diagnosis and shoo me away.
But well, i ll backup for a second. Since 2016 i been gaining weight, since 2018 i started blacking out, then my stamina decreased over time to the point that i now have actual PEM for a bit over a year. At first i was "just" blacking out during exercise, then during everyday life shit. I also gotten more migraines. And now i have seriously absurdly intense muscle ache, even shaking of my muscles when i use them prolonged. I also get a headache if i move around too much. I cant even do everyday things without massive muscular pain the next day. I live off ibuprofen, and every doctor just tells me to exercise (as if i could) and take more painmedication. I already am taking the most of ibuprofen i can to sleep / function. Exercise is not even on the table. I still work fulltime because luckily i still can, but im getting to my limit. I am literally messed up if i cant park right in front of my clients and have to walk for a bit.
So looking at the rule out pdf (again lovely thank you) Its like a game of bingo, where doctors cant seem to agree. Here goes from left to right, top to bottom.

• Adrenals are fine
• Hypercortisolism - yep but they dont know why (and only elevated in serum and no its not stress or sleep)
• Hypothyroidism - yes but "latent" they wont give me the diagnosis or medication, even tho thats a bit confusing to me. Its only TSH thats off, and even tho the guideline says i could try medication docs disagree
• Diabetes - no but insuline resistance, maybe? I say maybe as other docs said the test was done during my vitamin D deficiency, which can mess with the results). My blood sugar is fine at all times.
• My Vitamin D seems to be flip flopping other things are fine. Also my brain and spine are fine. They didnt drill into my head yet or tested my spinal fluid - im trying to kinda avoid this if not needed.
• I also have iron deficiency defined as "anemia of chronic disease" with elevated erythrocytes and some other stuff. But my doctors are literally arguing in their letters if i do or do not have anemia. Some say "no her hemoglobin is fine!" and other say "yea but her transferrin saturation is 4%" So like I DONT KNOW! Im finally getting iron infusions next week after literally begging, but if this doesnt help me, i dont know what else to freaking do
• As mentioned i have high inflammatory markers of unknown origin. Not rheumatological it seems, no clue if potentially Polymyositis but so far they told me no. Tests of my muscles were normal. All tests for infectious diseases or bacterial infections were so far negative. I seen like every expert i could think of already. They are waiting for insurance to permit a PETscan, as our last resort here.
• Sleep issues were ruled out
• Of course doctors claim im depressed or anxious, but thats just my XY chromosomes not actual facts
• GI is normal, no findings, several tests and also experimentations showed no improvement
• My heart is fine even tho i do have I got sinus tachycardia during "exercise" but its not any form of dysautonomia. To me it was explained as probably linked to my "thick blood" (iron deficiency), the chronic inflammation. And its not linked to my issues nor is it super severe. Its something i keep an eye on tho. My blood pressure is great tho and constant.
• I dont think its heavy metals or what not, i moved 3x since my issues started and from all the tests they did i dont see an indication. I cant say they ruled it out because i never was explicitly told.
• So far no cancer was found, but who knows. I sure as heck dont want a mystery one. The bloodwork didnt indicate cancer
• Severe Obesity (BMI > 40) - yes thanks to this illness!!!! Like i know why this is on the chart but like this is making me gain weight, i really wish it wouldnt disqualify me from finally getting a diagnosis. I doubled in weight since 2016 this isnt funny anymore.
• Overwork, Athletic Overtraining - i definitelly did that in the past, but its been years since i tuned it down so doubt. Going to docs is currently the most annoying thing on my schedule.
• I do have allergic light asthma but i got medication for if i need it, and i can tell with 100% certainty that my lungs are not the issue. They were before when i could still run a marathon. My lungs were on fire back then, and now thanks to the medication i can breath freely. Hence i guarantee my lungs aint the issue here.

My question is mostly WHAT the hell do i do in terms of doctors? Yes i changed my GP several times. Yes i seen experts. Im not giving up. But im left with weird bloodwork and no real diagnosises. Sure i will try iron infusions (the oral iron helped raise hemoglobin but not the other parameters all that much), but the CRP and inflammation is still there. If my insurance turns down the PET Scan or if the PET scan doesnt show anything. What else is there?
Can my GP really diagnose me as CFS and call it a day given the above? Im not gonna say "CFS is the worst i dont want it", but if its a misdiagnosis i would be deeply upset. I dont want him to push me into a box, only so he can be done with me. But im slowly at my wits end here in terms of tests and what not.
Suggestions?