Why is losing a parent so far
DiWHY
2013.11.20 22:18 IAMmojo DiWHY
Ever try fixing things on your own? Didn't come out the way they were supposed to? Do you stand there questioning your whole life? If so, post your results here to DiWHY (Pronounced: Dee Eye WHY). Where shitty projects from DIY live prosperously. If at any time you feel that a specific post isn't living up to the sub (be gentle as this is a humor sub, not meant to be taken seriously), please feel free to report (give exact reason) and let your voice be heard with downvotes and comments.
2012.02.05 07:54 doginabathtub For photos that are, you know, mildly interesting
Aww, cripes. I didn't know I'd have to write a description. How many words is that so far, like a hundred? Soooo, yeah. Mildly interesting stuff. Stuff that interests you. Mildly. It's in the name, ffs.
2009.12.21 17:44 HYPEractive Everyday Carry. What essentials do you carry on a daily basis?
A Reddit space where people can come together to show and discuss their various EDC items, ask questions and receive advice from fellow carriers, and generally promote the enjoyment of EDC. You never know when you're going to need it!
2024.05.19 00:59 anonymoususer2468- I don’t know if I’m wrong for not wanting my friend’s boyfriend at my wedding
So I guess this is a double post because two things happened with this friend last night. For some background knowledge I’m 27 yrs old and I weigh 119. I suffer from body dysmorphia and this is something my friend knows. She weighs 130 and she always talks about wanting to lose weight and exercise but never does so. For me, I’m very big on portion control and I exercise everyday with going on a mile walk and I attend yoga on Thursdays.
Last night my friend and I were going out for dinner. I’m getting married this fall and it’s a very small scale wedding it will only be up to 50-60 people. My friend asked me if her boyfriend can come to my wedding as she’s always talking to him about it. From what she told me her boyfriend is a horrible person. He’s very verbally and mentally abusive. I wish she had the courage to leave him. I guess now they are doing well because she hasn’t told me anything bad in a while. But my mind is made up from all the horrible stuff I heard he’s not coming to my wedding. My friend told me that he also made a nasty ignorant comments about Koreans that “they all look the same”. My fiancé he is Korean and I love him and his family way too much to let some ignorant ass attend our wedding.
I simply told my friend that I don’t feel comfortable if he attends due to the stuff I have heard about him. She instantly looked sad and disappointed. She told me that it’s awkward because he really wants to come to my wedding and doesn’t know what to say when he asks about my wedding. In actuality my friend never let me meet him or hang out with him. She always keeps me far away from him and according to her the only way I can hangout with him is when my fiancé comes back from South Korea. Because in her words “everyone will be comfortable” when my fiancé is there. Back from that little side note I told my friend that I’m sorry but he’s not invited. Luckily conversation shifted after that but it was terribly awkward and I’m sure this isn’t the last time we talk about this.
We went to dinner to the Cheesecake Factory. I had a bit of my dinner and saved my cheesecake for when I get home and for tomorrow. My friend finished all of her food plus the cheesecake. We decided to go to Marshall’s afterwards. As we were shopping I heard my friend ask me “did you get your period?” I am expected to get it in two days. I panicked and looked down to see if I was bleeding and then looked up realizing I was safe and didn’t have it. I asked her “no why?” and she quickly said “it’s nothing don’t worry”. I said to her “but there’s a reason why you asked” and she said “well it’s because you look really bloated”. I didn’t expect to hear that and I was really shocked. She then said “well we eat a lot maybe that’s why”. I didn’t say anything and ignored her.
I know some friends comment on each other’s weights and bodies. Our friendship isn’t one of those friendships. We never comment on each other’s bodies as I know she has her own body issues. I told my mom all of this and she thinks my friend did this out of petty revenge because I’m not letting her boyfriend come to my wedding. Overall I’m just shocked and upset by last night and I would love to hear everyone’s opinions!
submitted by anonymoususer2468- to relationships_advice [link] [comments]
Last night my friend and I were going out for dinner. I’m getting married this fall and it’s a very small scale wedding it will only be up to 50-60 people. My friend asked me if her boyfriend can come to my wedding as she’s always talking to him about it. From what she told me her boyfriend is a horrible person. He’s very verbally and mentally abusive. I wish she had the courage to leave him. I guess now they are doing well because she hasn’t told me anything bad in a while. But my mind is made up from all the horrible stuff I heard he’s not coming to my wedding. My friend told me that he also made a nasty ignorant comments about Koreans that “they all look the same”. My fiancé he is Korean and I love him and his family way too much to let some ignorant ass attend our wedding.
I simply told my friend that I don’t feel comfortable if he attends due to the stuff I have heard about him. She instantly looked sad and disappointed. She told me that it’s awkward because he really wants to come to my wedding and doesn’t know what to say when he asks about my wedding. In actuality my friend never let me meet him or hang out with him. She always keeps me far away from him and according to her the only way I can hangout with him is when my fiancé comes back from South Korea. Because in her words “everyone will be comfortable” when my fiancé is there. Back from that little side note I told my friend that I’m sorry but he’s not invited. Luckily conversation shifted after that but it was terribly awkward and I’m sure this isn’t the last time we talk about this.
We went to dinner to the Cheesecake Factory. I had a bit of my dinner and saved my cheesecake for when I get home and for tomorrow. My friend finished all of her food plus the cheesecake. We decided to go to Marshall’s afterwards. As we were shopping I heard my friend ask me “did you get your period?” I am expected to get it in two days. I panicked and looked down to see if I was bleeding and then looked up realizing I was safe and didn’t have it. I asked her “no why?” and she quickly said “it’s nothing don’t worry”. I said to her “but there’s a reason why you asked” and she said “well it’s because you look really bloated”. I didn’t expect to hear that and I was really shocked. She then said “well we eat a lot maybe that’s why”. I didn’t say anything and ignored her.
I know some friends comment on each other’s weights and bodies. Our friendship isn’t one of those friendships. We never comment on each other’s bodies as I know she has her own body issues. I told my mom all of this and she thinks my friend did this out of petty revenge because I’m not letting her boyfriend come to my wedding. Overall I’m just shocked and upset by last night and I would love to hear everyone’s opinions!
2024.05.19 00:53 vlms296 how to revive nonexistent self-esteem
title. 20F, and i honestly don't think i ever formed a healthy self-image. i attended a K-12 school with a small student population and a severe endemic bullying problem so the same 15 individuals i met as a toddler were the classmates alongside whom i graduated high school. my school was actually known throughout the surrounding area for having a bullying issue and i got dealt a pretty bad hand in those terms. bullying and social exclusion followed me from kindergarten all the way up to high school. my only friends were my cousins up until sixth grade. i know this by itself doesn't sound all that bad but feeling like an alien and an outsider as a six-year-old girl messes you up. i wasn't a "quiet" or "weird" kid or anything like that- just literally a normal young girl- but a lot of the other kids in my grade just came in with these vicious, catty personalities which didn't mesh well with the sunshiney, always-assuming-the-best-in-people attitude i had as a young child. my parents were also working class and i didn't always have the trendiest items/wasn't "hip" to what was popular and that certainly didn't help. i never really formed any sort of self-image during those formative childhood years because all that time was just spent feeling awful about myself and trying to figure out what i had to do to earn acceptance. my most formative memory is just spending years and years trying to figure out why i couldn't be accepted by the other kids in my grade and trying absolutely everything to no avail. additionally, i wasn't exactly able to build a strong self-image at home because my father was largely emotionally absent and hypercritical. (he was never abusive in the slightest, but was just very rigid, not emotionally involved, would criticize every single thing etc). i internalized a lot of those criticisms and still have an incredibly overactive hypercritical voice. then when i was 11 i got involved with an excessively-competitive intensive sport which involved adult male coaches who (as i now recognize) were incredibly abusive. think those eastern european gymnastics coaches in the 50s. i was training 30-35 hours a week by the time i was 13 and my life resembled an Olympic training regimen. because i already was so incredibly weak in self-esteem i internalized and accepted all of the abuse from the coaches while other children told their parents and were removed from the environment. i felt like this sport was a place where i could be competitive, included and treated like a mature adult- a break from the constant exclusion i was experiencing from my peers at school. i couldn't figure out how to quit because the coaches' validation (which was few and far between) had become the only thing remotely resembling a self-image i had. i couldn't relate to any of my peers or the few friends i did have because i didn't have a normal teenage life where i could go to the mall or hang out with friends; all of my waking moments involved crippling anxiety due to these adult men who i spent the majority of my time around. they screamed at, insulted, threw things at, and took delight in physically hurting the young children involved in the sport. i felt like i didn't own or control my life and i had a sense of being completely isolated because i didn't know how to get out of or even define the situation. i finally left at 15 (in the middle of my freshman year of high school) and within a month of leaving developed some sort of mental health/trauma response (which i am still unable to identify because i never got any sort of psychological help due to being afraid of seeming "weak"). i started having regular anxiety attacks (something which i had never experienced before), throwing up daily, having nightmares and losing my hair. growing up although i was always insecure i had never dealt with any mental health issues and i am neurotypical so this was all absolutely new for me. the fact that this was something i had never felt before all arising so abruptly at once- seemingly overnight- made the experience scary and unfamiliar, and i felt like i was losing my control of my mind and body at 15, right when teens are meant to be naturally growing into and forming healthy relationships with their bodies. it was around this time when the usual teenage drama of high school really took off and due to the mental health issues i had begun to experience i found myself involved in typical teen drama which led to me losing my entire friend group multiple times over. my high school years were full of painful drama, friendship breakups and a plethora of unhealthy actions which i now recognize as desperate efforts to regain some sort of sense of control over my life and self-image. i got rejected from my dream ivy league university which i had wanted to attend since i was a child (the university where my father works) because my grades had dropped after my experience in the sport- not a lot, but just enough to remove me from the ivy league range. i enrolled in my state university and entered my first relationship which swiftly ended due to my baggage from childhood/the fact that my insecurities made me unable to accept the fact that someone genuinely liked me. i got my life together (in some sense) in college and now am an honors program + dean's list student on a pre-law track, set to graduate with phi beta kappa and magna cum laude distinctions as well as a near-perfect gpa and membership in a national honors society for my area of study. i still have absolutely zero self-esteem or even any idea of what it feels like to have a healthy relationship with myself. my opinion of myself (physical appearance, personality etc) is so negative and distorted that i have absolutely no idea what i look like or how people perceive me. i have been told that i am attractive but i honest-to-God just don't know. i criticize myself brutally for every decision i make and i can't go a day without comparing myself to other people. nobody knows that my self-esteem is so awful because i seem on the surface to "have it all together". i don't want to go to therapy or counseling because i feel like my parents would see me as weak or incompetent and even if they didn't i know that i would see myself that way. the mental health issues i dealt with in my teen years are (for the majority) gone now but only because i've had to develop my own coping mechanisms (some healthy, others not so much) and most of it has just come down to toughing it out and pushing it all down inside. i have this weird overachiever complex where i purposefully will put myself in painful/uncomfortable/excessively difficult situations in order to "prove" that i can overcome them and feel like i'm proud of myself/have accomplished something, if that makes sense. i'll stay awake 72 hours consecutively studying for an exam and skip meals just to score the highest in the class on zero hours of sleep and an empty stomach and the more uncomfortable/unpleasant it is the better i end up feeling because it seems like i've accomplished something/like i'm being "disciplined". everyone just thinks that i'm an overachievereally good student and so i feel like if i actually did tell someone about how bad i feel on a daily basis i'd be dismissed with "but you have it all together!!" etc etc. idk how to fix this or if it even can be fixed but i would appreciate some sort of advice. i want to be able to just enjoy my life.
submitted by vlms296 to mentalhealth [link] [comments]
2024.05.19 00:52 HighImJustEnough burnt out cant return
not trying to bitch out of work, truly cant keep being treated the way i am by my manager and director and their stressed out direct reports; do i have options? best exit strategy advice?
details - I am one of three managers of a retail store that does an easy 1.5+mil a month in sales with (un)godly margins. I dont want to leave a team and the work I love, but I do not play a smart political game at work, so after a year and a half I am once again training my new direct manager while taking the brunt of their own learning mistakes and stressful expression of need. it wouldnt be so bad if I just took it out on the other employees, but managing upbeat morale in a fast paced work space is why i do what i do. So kinda like a bitch, if I cant do that (protect our employees from condescending threats, little traps and fuck yous and micro aggressions, and generally a stressful workplace) then I dont want to work here, I dont want to be around when they start turning on eachother (thats what I walked into and changed). Too many details to include, but its all the same ego driven power struggle crap every employee and workplace can go through. Ive build a bond with most everyone else in the company leveling through the work and actively working out the dirty details and ideal practices happily. What I see as my earned authority from our employees can only be shared and given away as a company man so much before its basically a joke, if I have no resources to affect the working environment, my thanks and appreciation only goes so far before its eye rolls and niceties.
I am good enough at what I do to do this literally anywhere (pay isnt enough to stay), but I really do want the best for this company (will buy stock in them when I can). I know they will be better off when I leave, force change and all that, but also that wont be pretty and will affect the people ive spent the most time with the last year+
So, is there something I can do to make this happen smoothly? I literally have no idea what I can rely on my employer for, but the stress is to the point of physical illness so trust when I say "burnt out cant return". It's scaring myself how bad it is, like im afraid of myself, the joker-esq laugh i couldnt control last monday reading the first email of the day from new management stating 1. An issue is happening now (because procedures changed without discussion) 2. They dont know why it's happening (because they dont comprehend the moving parts completely yet) 3. but if I/we dont fix it immediately my/our jobs are in jeopardy. Would be funny if it wasnt literally behind every issue and conversation, the sentence "every issue we have is an opportunity to do better work" meaningless in an environment like that.
I'd like to not lose my health insurance immediately, calling out sick from stress this week has been the only time since starting the job ive been able to get physical and psychological therapy. I also not the litigious type, so probably not gonna see a lawyer to drudge up the gross stuff and protectionism and nepotism Ive dealt with.
tldr ; Cant we all just get along... be better apart... how do I break up with my employer (and protect myself) are campsite rules possible?
I sent an email to HR saying I cant anymore... waiting for a response on Monday I guess
half way through a therapeutic second email where I state the behaviors that have worked against me the last year while still trying not to name names. The blame game is heavy there. Should I send it too? is it sloppy and unprofessional or do you think it could do some good?
submitted by HighImJustEnough to WorkAdvice [link] [comments]
details - I am one of three managers of a retail store that does an easy 1.5+mil a month in sales with (un)godly margins. I dont want to leave a team and the work I love, but I do not play a smart political game at work, so after a year and a half I am once again training my new direct manager while taking the brunt of their own learning mistakes and stressful expression of need. it wouldnt be so bad if I just took it out on the other employees, but managing upbeat morale in a fast paced work space is why i do what i do. So kinda like a bitch, if I cant do that (protect our employees from condescending threats, little traps and fuck yous and micro aggressions, and generally a stressful workplace) then I dont want to work here, I dont want to be around when they start turning on eachother (thats what I walked into and changed). Too many details to include, but its all the same ego driven power struggle crap every employee and workplace can go through. Ive build a bond with most everyone else in the company leveling through the work and actively working out the dirty details and ideal practices happily. What I see as my earned authority from our employees can only be shared and given away as a company man so much before its basically a joke, if I have no resources to affect the working environment, my thanks and appreciation only goes so far before its eye rolls and niceties.
I am good enough at what I do to do this literally anywhere (pay isnt enough to stay), but I really do want the best for this company (will buy stock in them when I can). I know they will be better off when I leave, force change and all that, but also that wont be pretty and will affect the people ive spent the most time with the last year+
So, is there something I can do to make this happen smoothly? I literally have no idea what I can rely on my employer for, but the stress is to the point of physical illness so trust when I say "burnt out cant return". It's scaring myself how bad it is, like im afraid of myself, the joker-esq laugh i couldnt control last monday reading the first email of the day from new management stating 1. An issue is happening now (because procedures changed without discussion) 2. They dont know why it's happening (because they dont comprehend the moving parts completely yet) 3. but if I/we dont fix it immediately my/our jobs are in jeopardy. Would be funny if it wasnt literally behind every issue and conversation, the sentence "every issue we have is an opportunity to do better work" meaningless in an environment like that.
I'd like to not lose my health insurance immediately, calling out sick from stress this week has been the only time since starting the job ive been able to get physical and psychological therapy. I also not the litigious type, so probably not gonna see a lawyer to drudge up the gross stuff and protectionism and nepotism Ive dealt with.
tldr ; Cant we all just get along... be better apart... how do I break up with my employer (and protect myself) are campsite rules possible?
I sent an email to HR saying I cant anymore... waiting for a response on Monday I guess
half way through a therapeutic second email where I state the behaviors that have worked against me the last year while still trying not to name names. The blame game is heavy there. Should I send it too? is it sloppy and unprofessional or do you think it could do some good?
2024.05.19 00:51 throwawaybaconlasagn I Think My Sister Is In An Abusive Relationship And I Don't Know What To Do About It.
Hi Reddit. This is my first ever post and a throwaway because I don't want this to get back to her. I don't even know really where to start. I should give some context, so here goes nothing. My sister, we'll call her Gabby, has only ever had one boyfriend her entire life. She met her boyfriend, we'll call him Marvin, in high school. They've been together ever since and eventually got married. When Marvin stepped into the picture, Gabby started acting differently towards her friends and family. She stopped hanging out with her friends and became snappy with the family. I figured this was typical teenage behavior. Over the years, her and my relationship grew distant, as I never really thought Marvin was a good fit for her as he made her mean and isolated her from the things she once loved (she stopped hanging out with her friend group she was once constantly hanging out with, started making mean comments and jokes directed towards me even though we were once close, etc). Anyways, fast forward to a year after they're married. They're trying for a baby, but they are still living with family. Despite living with family, they refuse to disclose any personal life details with the family. Weird, but okay, you're an adult. They ended up buying an old house that needs to be completely renovated without telling anyone that they were even thinking about buying a house. Anyways, they have their child, and they wanted everyone to get shots before meeting their child. We all complied. We asked to hold their child and they refused, which I respected. They said that we would be able to hold their child when she was a bit older. She is now more than a few months old and they still refuse to let anyone hold her. Whatever, they're allowed to parent the way they want to parent. This story is so complex and forever ongoing that I don't even know where to begin with it. There have been multiple instances where the slightest thing anyone in my family does sets Gabby off. For instance, there was a piece of furniture that my mom let me use that was just in their basement being unused that once belonged to Gabby. This upset Gabby so much that she, an adult in her 20's actively trying for a baby, rolled around the floor screaming and ripping out her hair. I had to restrain her from harming herself over this. When I asked why this escalated to the point it did, I was told that it was truly only over the furniture, nothing else. There are many other instances like this which only started when Gabby met Marvin.
Since Gabby and Marvin married, Gabby's relationship with our mom has significantly deteriorated. Their relationship had been strong up until that point, so this came as a shock. It has been really hard on our mom. Gabby will call/text our dad, but ignore the calls/texts from our mom. So we know that this action is deliberate. For context, there's nothing that ever happened between the two of them that would have sparked this behavior. No big fight, no major viewpoint differences, nothing. However, Marvin has always had a rough relationship with his mother.
Anyways, The biggest thing that happened recently that led me to write this post revolves around a mothers day. Last year, Gabby did not acknowledge mothers day at all. She didn't call/text/send flowers/ do anything for our mom. Radio silence. This year, Gabby is a mother. My mom gave Gabby a very nice mothers day gift, which she did not thank her for, and Gabby only acknowledged the date by sending a group text message. I don't want to go too far into detail to keep my identity hidden, but this really upset my mother.
I did not say happy mothers day to Gabby, but this was not an intentional act of malice. I worked 12 hours that day and really only thought mothers day was for your own mother. I guess some people acknowledge all of the mothers in their life, but I only acknowledged my own mother. This really upset Gabby and when I tried to explain my view, she didn’t want any of it. I apologized, but the call ended with feelings still heightened. She has since stopped returning my calls/texts/DMs. It's been almost a week since this happened.
I recently found out that Marvin and Gabby had stopped communication completely with Martin's side of the family. This was seemingly also an unwarranted decision on their part - a family member got so worried that they weren't returning calls/texts that they drove out to see them and check on them (mind you, they live hours away) just to find out that the lack of communication was intentional and that they were no longer speaking to their family.
It seems like every time I see Gabby/Marvin, something that I do sets them off. They always have a reason to be upset with me. When I try to explain my actions, they don't want to come to a resolution and see eye to eye, they just want me to apologize and admit that i'm wrong - even when I don't feel like what I did was wrong. I feel like i'm always apologizing for things that I don't need to be apologizing for and that they dictate everything in the mess of a relationship we do have. I am all for setting boundaries, but she won't communicate her boundaries and then blow up on you when you violate them.
There's so much more to this story I could literally go on and on.
Essentially, I fear that Marvin is painting Gabby's family and friends in a way that makes her want to cut us all off. Gabby doesn't have any friends outside of her husband besides a few people she sees at religious events. Gabby doesn't talk to my mom, and now isn't talking to me. I fear that she may be in an abusive relationship due to the fact that ever since Gabby married Marvin (her first and only boyfriend) she has become more and more isolated.
Oh, I forgot to mention that Gabby also is the primary breadwinner and ALSO the primary caregiver to their child.
I don't know what to think of this and I know that this post is scrambled, but I'm all ears to what the people of reddit have to say about this situation. I will try and provide more context if necessary in the comments, but do you think that Gabby is in an abusive relationship and that Marvin is isolating her from the people who love her? Or what do you think is going on?
submitted by throwawaybaconlasagn to Advice [link] [comments]
Since Gabby and Marvin married, Gabby's relationship with our mom has significantly deteriorated. Their relationship had been strong up until that point, so this came as a shock. It has been really hard on our mom. Gabby will call/text our dad, but ignore the calls/texts from our mom. So we know that this action is deliberate. For context, there's nothing that ever happened between the two of them that would have sparked this behavior. No big fight, no major viewpoint differences, nothing. However, Marvin has always had a rough relationship with his mother.
Anyways, The biggest thing that happened recently that led me to write this post revolves around a mothers day. Last year, Gabby did not acknowledge mothers day at all. She didn't call/text/send flowers/ do anything for our mom. Radio silence. This year, Gabby is a mother. My mom gave Gabby a very nice mothers day gift, which she did not thank her for, and Gabby only acknowledged the date by sending a group text message. I don't want to go too far into detail to keep my identity hidden, but this really upset my mother.
I did not say happy mothers day to Gabby, but this was not an intentional act of malice. I worked 12 hours that day and really only thought mothers day was for your own mother. I guess some people acknowledge all of the mothers in their life, but I only acknowledged my own mother. This really upset Gabby and when I tried to explain my view, she didn’t want any of it. I apologized, but the call ended with feelings still heightened. She has since stopped returning my calls/texts/DMs. It's been almost a week since this happened.
I recently found out that Marvin and Gabby had stopped communication completely with Martin's side of the family. This was seemingly also an unwarranted decision on their part - a family member got so worried that they weren't returning calls/texts that they drove out to see them and check on them (mind you, they live hours away) just to find out that the lack of communication was intentional and that they were no longer speaking to their family.
It seems like every time I see Gabby/Marvin, something that I do sets them off. They always have a reason to be upset with me. When I try to explain my actions, they don't want to come to a resolution and see eye to eye, they just want me to apologize and admit that i'm wrong - even when I don't feel like what I did was wrong. I feel like i'm always apologizing for things that I don't need to be apologizing for and that they dictate everything in the mess of a relationship we do have. I am all for setting boundaries, but she won't communicate her boundaries and then blow up on you when you violate them.
There's so much more to this story I could literally go on and on.
Essentially, I fear that Marvin is painting Gabby's family and friends in a way that makes her want to cut us all off. Gabby doesn't have any friends outside of her husband besides a few people she sees at religious events. Gabby doesn't talk to my mom, and now isn't talking to me. I fear that she may be in an abusive relationship due to the fact that ever since Gabby married Marvin (her first and only boyfriend) she has become more and more isolated.
Oh, I forgot to mention that Gabby also is the primary breadwinner and ALSO the primary caregiver to their child.
I don't know what to think of this and I know that this post is scrambled, but I'm all ears to what the people of reddit have to say about this situation. I will try and provide more context if necessary in the comments, but do you think that Gabby is in an abusive relationship and that Marvin is isolating her from the people who love her? Or what do you think is going on?
2024.05.19 00:51 BeanslyBeans Is there any way I can stop having people comment on my weight loss?
I, 16F, started working out to lose weight when I was fourteen. So far I’ve come a really long way, and though I’m not super skinny and never will be because of genetics, I still have gone from a size XL/L to S/M.
At first when I started working out, I hoped that people would notice, especially because I’ve been bothered about my weight my entire life. The first time someone other than my parents had talked about it, I was at my cousins birthday party and was greeting one of their family friends that I hadn’t seen in a long time. One adult man that I’d met some times before gave me a hug, then exclaimed “wow, you’ve lost a lot of weight!” His comment initially caught me off guard, but I just thanked him cause I didn’t know what else to say. I didn’t feel any type of way about it, until he later brought it up again. I just thought that it was weird how he seemed so hung up about it, but I let it slide.
After that, I’ve gotten more comments from people that I haven’t seen in a long while, and it’s started making me very uncomfortable. Just yesterday I was chatting with a family friend when he, out of the blue, told me “you look good. You must have dropped a lot of weight”. I laughed it off, but it just bothers me so much that people bring it up. I don’t know why it’s so normalized to comment on people’s bodies, whether it’s because they’ve lost or gained weight.
I think it’s also important to point out that the only people who have commented on it are men over the age of 50. When they do it, it reminds me of how I used to look before, and it shows me that they actively thought of me as fat. Is there any way I can stop people from talking about my weight? It’s uncomfortable and I don’t like when people bring it up. Thanks for any advice!
submitted by BeanslyBeans to WeightLossAdvice [link] [comments]
At first when I started working out, I hoped that people would notice, especially because I’ve been bothered about my weight my entire life. The first time someone other than my parents had talked about it, I was at my cousins birthday party and was greeting one of their family friends that I hadn’t seen in a long time. One adult man that I’d met some times before gave me a hug, then exclaimed “wow, you’ve lost a lot of weight!” His comment initially caught me off guard, but I just thanked him cause I didn’t know what else to say. I didn’t feel any type of way about it, until he later brought it up again. I just thought that it was weird how he seemed so hung up about it, but I let it slide.
After that, I’ve gotten more comments from people that I haven’t seen in a long while, and it’s started making me very uncomfortable. Just yesterday I was chatting with a family friend when he, out of the blue, told me “you look good. You must have dropped a lot of weight”. I laughed it off, but it just bothers me so much that people bring it up. I don’t know why it’s so normalized to comment on people’s bodies, whether it’s because they’ve lost or gained weight.
I think it’s also important to point out that the only people who have commented on it are men over the age of 50. When they do it, it reminds me of how I used to look before, and it shows me that they actively thought of me as fat. Is there any way I can stop people from talking about my weight? It’s uncomfortable and I don’t like when people bring it up. Thanks for any advice!
2024.05.19 00:45 KayakRifleman Talking with Predators part 4 (NoP Fanfic)
All right here it is finally, thank you all for your patience and let's hope chapter 5 is a little more expedient. As usual I hope you enjoy and would love to get everyone's thoughts.
First Previous
4: Memory transcription subject: Zeak, Harchen orphan, citizen of the Venlil Republic. Date: standardized human time July 13th 2136.
The sky was a roaring mass of fire and pungent black smoke that choked out the light of the sun. As I ran down the street, green blood flowed like a broad shallow river. It splashed up with every step I took, sticking to my scales, the smell of it made me feel sick. As the piercing wail of the emergency sirens seemed to grow louder and louder with every step I took making my ears ring and filling my head with a thunderous pain. My heart pounded, my lungs were on fire, and my legs felt like they were made of lead.
A herd of towering blurry figures appeared out of nowhere and ran past me, some almost knocking me down. In their panic they began to look more like crazed wild animals than people. I cried for help but they couldn't hear me. I waved my paws then grabbed one of them a male Venlil, tightening my grip with all the strength I had hoping this would get his attention. He threw me off like I was trash, less than trash. I turned around and continued pleading for anyone to help me, reaching out for others. But their frantic idiot eyes looked only straight ahead and not down, never down, as the herd passed me.
I turned back around and continued to run, blood splashing up soaking me all the way to my knees. I stumbled, my legs were so tired I could barely stand, and I fell down catching myself, plunging my paws into blood as deep as my wrists. I felt myself scream but I couldn't hear it over the ringing in my ears. A scrap of paper gently floated past me, a single word written on it that echoed in my mind “Weakling.” It passed and four more took its place, “Coward”, “Liar”, “Oath breaker”, “Murderer.” I screamed in rage and slapped the pieces of paper aside, blood splashing onto my snout, but the meanings of those words remained. Getting back up I stumbled forward, and fell down again. Then with an effort born out of sheer desperation I managed to stand again lurching forward. My legs were too tired to run but I had to keep going, I had to save them. Or at least her, please Protector if you're listening please let me save at least her.
It felt like I was searching for an endless time. Lurching forward, stumbling, falling down, getting back up, lurching forward once more. Eventually I saw it and my heart fell into the pit of my stomach. My family's car was turned over on its roof, the driver's side had been caved in. It was engulfed in fire and thick black smoke that rose up into the sky. I struggled forward and when I reached it I collapsed, my knees hitting the hot pavement. The smell of burning metal and something else I didn't know assaulted my senses making my stomach turn. Every muscle in my body begged me to run away. Calling out their names l looked inside, and a wave of nausea and horror flooded through me.
I turned away and vomited, then reached up with my blood soaked paws and covered my eyes. Those words thundered in my head making me think it was going to burst open, as hot tears welled up. “WEAKLING! COWARD! LIAR! OATH BREAKER! MURDERER! MURDERER! MURDERER! MURDERER! “I'm sorry I'm sorry, I should have stayed, I should have helped. Why did I run?” I wailed, still unable to hear myself. Someone rested a delicate paw on my shoulder, and the world went quiet. As the pain in my head melted away.
My eyes snapped open and I was greeted by the gentle ringing of my alarm. In a rush of adrenaline I leaped out of bed not even bothering to wipe the sleep out of my eyes. Running out of my bedroom and down the narrow hallway towards the living room. Convincing myself It had all just been a horrible, horrible nightmare and everything was alright. Mom and Dad would be fixing breakfast, Dad softly singing a Harchen folk song while making something savory and delicious as mom sang along in harmony, preparing something special for my baby sister Naila. Oh yes and Naila, she would probably be sitting on a cushion in the sunny part of the living room. Holding her crooked tail, a birth defect which my parents said could be fixed when she was older. And making excited chirping noises at my arrival, while sunlight shone against her emerald scales. I loved my baby sister, I knew other kids resented having a younger sibling. Dismissing their responsibilities and spending less time with their family and more with their friends. I never once felt that way, the moment Naila hatched I devoted every spare minute I had to her. Finding music that would help her fall asleep, watching over her when my mom needed a break. Excitedly telling her about the day's events and what I learned at school, especially what I learned in computer science which was my favorite class.
“Mom! Dad!” I yelled bursting into the living room. “I just had the worst…” My voice trailed off as I was greeted with nothing “dream.” My heart tightened painfully in my chest, as I frantically ran through the house throwing open every door, knowing that they had to be here somewhere. They were just playing a game on me that was all, a game I would tell them I didn't appreciate. After the final door had been opened and no one was there to yell “Surprise!” My body slumped and I felt heavy as reality set back in, and the memories of what happened hit me like a hammer. I made my way back down the hall to my room, tail dragging behind me as I crawled back into bed. Wrapping myself tightly in a blanket, trying to find some comfort.
It must have been hours I lay there feeling numb all over, wishing I could get up the energy to just cry. I think I might have fallen asleep at one point. If I did it was a dreamless sleep, thank the stars for that. Eventually I did get up, sitting cross-legged on my bed, resting my chin in my paws, staring holes into the wall. I took a deep breath and side numbly looked out the window, searching for anything to distract myself with.
It was overcast, and eerily quiet. The emergency sirens had stopped blaring yesterday mere hours after everyone had gotten to the bunkers. The bodies of the dead had already been collected and their blood cleaned from the pavement. So as to not attract any predators into the neighborhood. I saw my neighbor A'shul was home, his white vehicle was sporting some new dents. I wondered, when he got into his vehicle yesterday morning and drove to the nearest bunker; did he try to help anyone? Or was he thinking only of himself? I suppose it didn't matter really. Nothing mattered.
I turned my head away and looked around my small room taking in everything, every trinket, misplaced item, my old second-hand desk, a big green crackle finished monster. Better suited for a Venlil than a young Harchen, heck I needed a stool just to use it. I had gotten it for basically nothing about a year ago, when the local extermination office was getting rid of their old furniture. All it took was a small bribe and they put it in my bedroom when no one was home. My parents, but especially my mom we're not happy when they saw it the next day. They would tell me at least once a week that It was too big for me and they were going to get rid of that eyesore. “Wouldn't you like something a little more modern dear?” My mom would ask, practically pleading for me to say yes. I used to pray that my parents would just shut up and stop bugging me about that stupid desk. I thought it was great, it made me think of private detective Bal from the exterminators show. Bal was a no nonsense Harchen who was so often pivotal in tracking down the predator or predator diseased person. My desk was very similar to his and that's why I wanted it. But at that moment, I would have given anything to hear those words again.
On the desk there was an ornate wooden box, with a fruit tree in full bloom delicately carved into its lid. There were also scuff marks where it had been dropped, and a deep crack running down the center. It was known as a blessing box, Naila's blessing box to be specific. When she hatched nearly ten months ago the whole neighborhood had been invited to come and write a blessing on a scrap of paper and put it in the box. I had written one too, not a blessing but a promise, a promise I couldn't keep. The belief was that if kept near the infant, the combined power of all those blessings would keep the hatchling safe until their first birthday. Where on that day the box would be set on fire and burned to ash. Releasing those blessings back into the world so they may protect someone else. It was an old tradition and not commonly practiced anymore, but as my dad always said “It is important to keep the old traditions alive my son. Both in song and action.” I remember asking him why? And he looked at me like he had been waiting for that question for a long time. “Because” He said, his tail moving with authority. “Someday when you lose your way, and you don't know where to turn to. You will always have something to guide you back to your center.”
Looking away from the box not wanting to look or think about the damn thing, I shifted my gaze down to my bedside table. There was a little holographic projector showing pictures of me, Mom, Dad and Naila on holiday back on Fahl, the Harchen home world to see family. I was born and raised on Venlil prime, so I didn't really know any of my extended family. There was a picture of my mom and Naila sleeping at the beach. Naila’s crooked tail coiled around mom’s arm, their scales a deep emerald in the light of the sun. The picture changed to me and Dad putting the finishing touches on a sand skyscraper taller than him. I had to sit on his shoulders to place the last bucket full of sand on top. Both of our scales were as blue as the ocean. My tail flicked sadly thinking of that day. I reached over and turned the holo protector off.
My holopad lay next to me flashing, alerting me to an urgent message. I hadn't really looked at my holopad since yesterday morning. Picking it up I tapped the flashing icon. It was an official government statement signed by Governor Tarva herself, saying that the humans Noah and Sarah were peaceful explorers, and that they only wished to be our friends. ‘No, that's impossible, they’re predators. Predators don't want peace, they want to conquer, kill and eat us,’ stunned and confused I kept reading. The rest of the message stated that the two human scientists were completely unaware there was intelligent life of any kind on Venlil prime. ‘No! Lies! Predator lies!’ I yelled inside my head. Something hot began to form in my chest as I read the last bit. Governor Tarver had shown the two predators footage of the Arxur torturing Venlil pups. It said that the humans were capable of empathy and felt deeply saddened and angered by what they saw. They vowed to do everything in their power to get their united nations into the war against the Arxur.
I scrolled all the way down and what I saw stopped me cold. Standing in her office being flanked by General Kam, stood Governor Tarva. Beside them looming over the two Venlil one bigger than the other, both of them covered in some sort of protective suit. Their faces were obscured by dark visored helmets. It said that the larger of the two Noah was male, and the smaller one was Sarah female. Sarah had her hands clasped in front of her, while Noah kept his to his side. Neither were acting threatening, and neither Tarva or Kam looked to be harmed in any way.
Something in me snapped, that hot thing inside my chest erupted and I could feel my scales turn black. I very carefully set my holopad down beside me, then I uncrossed my legs and got out of bed. I stood there in the center of my room shaking slightly, feeling terribly calm as white hot rage flooded my body, spreading to my paws and all the way out to the tip of my long tail. It never had to happen, the panic, the stampede, the death, we could have stayed home and avoided those people. ‘No… no not people,’ a bitter thought came over me. ‘They're not people at all, people stop and help, like that Venlil girl Kayleik, she was a person maybe the only one. But the rest of them were just wild animals, masquerading as sentient beings. ‘Do you really think you're any better, coward?’ Some internal voice said.
A sudden impulse took control of me and I grabbed my desks stool and hurled it against the wall. It dented the wall and bounced off still in one piece. Enraged, I leaped forward grabbing it by the legs, then turned around and slammed it into my desk. The sheet metal dented and the green crackle finish paint flew off, but the stool made of good dense wood from the string fruit tree stayed whole. “DAMN THEM! DAMN THEM! DAMN THEM! DAMN THEM!” I screamed, slamming the stool down again and again, my tail whipping wildly, striking the bed and the floor. The tip of my tail began to hurt, which only fueled my anger. Finally I heard cracking and wood began to splinter off. They didn't have to die, we could have stayed home. The muscles in my shoulders burned and my heart pounded as hot tears began to well up. I brought it down one final time narrowly avoiding the blessing box, and the stool broke in two. I hurled the pieces away from me, one slamming into the corner the other crashing through the window.
I leaned against the desk catching my breath as tears flowed freely. ‘Well that definitely showed them didn't it. Hey I got a great idea! Let's go break some more stuff, that will definitely make you feel better. Idiot!’ That internal voice said all coldness and bitterness. As I cried, the burning in my chest cooled, and I was filled with the same numbness as before. After a while my stomach growled, reminding me I hadn't eaten since yesterday. I moved sluggishly out of my bedroom and went straight to the kitchen, quickly grabbed some fruit and left to go and watch the view screen or something. The moment I entered the living room, memories came flooding back. Mom and Dad laughing, Naila sleeping peacefully, the lingering aroma of breakfast, and the warmth of our home. But now it was all gone and I was alone. For the first time in my life, I had no one to go to.
It was right then I realized I couldn't stay here anymore. This place felt like a tomb, all cold and filled with the memories of the dead. Besides, if I stayed here someone would eventually send the authorities to come and get me. Ship me off to an orphanage, foster care or maybe to my extended family back on Fahl. I balked at the idea of being forced to live with people I didn't know or trust. Memories of yesterday's stampede invaded my mind and I shuddered. I couldn't trust any of them not anymore. No, there was one person I could think of that maybe I could trust. Turning around I went back to my room, found my backpack and grabbed my holopad, the blessing box, the holo projector and my blanket stuffing it into my pack. Then I went to the kitchen and filled my pack up the rest of the way with dried fruit and vegetable snacks. With my backpack looking like it was going to burst I shouldered it and made my way to the front door. When I rested my scaly paw on the door handle I stopped and looked back at the place that was once my home. “Goodbye” I said in a shaky voice, knowing this would be the last time I would never set foot in this house. With my head low I opened the door and stepped out, into the dim light of a new unfamiliar world.
submitted by KayakRifleman to NatureofPredators [link] [comments]
First Previous
4: Memory transcription subject: Zeak, Harchen orphan, citizen of the Venlil Republic. Date: standardized human time July 13th 2136.
The sky was a roaring mass of fire and pungent black smoke that choked out the light of the sun. As I ran down the street, green blood flowed like a broad shallow river. It splashed up with every step I took, sticking to my scales, the smell of it made me feel sick. As the piercing wail of the emergency sirens seemed to grow louder and louder with every step I took making my ears ring and filling my head with a thunderous pain. My heart pounded, my lungs were on fire, and my legs felt like they were made of lead.
A herd of towering blurry figures appeared out of nowhere and ran past me, some almost knocking me down. In their panic they began to look more like crazed wild animals than people. I cried for help but they couldn't hear me. I waved my paws then grabbed one of them a male Venlil, tightening my grip with all the strength I had hoping this would get his attention. He threw me off like I was trash, less than trash. I turned around and continued pleading for anyone to help me, reaching out for others. But their frantic idiot eyes looked only straight ahead and not down, never down, as the herd passed me.
I turned back around and continued to run, blood splashing up soaking me all the way to my knees. I stumbled, my legs were so tired I could barely stand, and I fell down catching myself, plunging my paws into blood as deep as my wrists. I felt myself scream but I couldn't hear it over the ringing in my ears. A scrap of paper gently floated past me, a single word written on it that echoed in my mind “Weakling.” It passed and four more took its place, “Coward”, “Liar”, “Oath breaker”, “Murderer.” I screamed in rage and slapped the pieces of paper aside, blood splashing onto my snout, but the meanings of those words remained. Getting back up I stumbled forward, and fell down again. Then with an effort born out of sheer desperation I managed to stand again lurching forward. My legs were too tired to run but I had to keep going, I had to save them. Or at least her, please Protector if you're listening please let me save at least her.
It felt like I was searching for an endless time. Lurching forward, stumbling, falling down, getting back up, lurching forward once more. Eventually I saw it and my heart fell into the pit of my stomach. My family's car was turned over on its roof, the driver's side had been caved in. It was engulfed in fire and thick black smoke that rose up into the sky. I struggled forward and when I reached it I collapsed, my knees hitting the hot pavement. The smell of burning metal and something else I didn't know assaulted my senses making my stomach turn. Every muscle in my body begged me to run away. Calling out their names l looked inside, and a wave of nausea and horror flooded through me.
I turned away and vomited, then reached up with my blood soaked paws and covered my eyes. Those words thundered in my head making me think it was going to burst open, as hot tears welled up. “WEAKLING! COWARD! LIAR! OATH BREAKER! MURDERER! MURDERER! MURDERER! MURDERER! “I'm sorry I'm sorry, I should have stayed, I should have helped. Why did I run?” I wailed, still unable to hear myself. Someone rested a delicate paw on my shoulder, and the world went quiet. As the pain in my head melted away.
My eyes snapped open and I was greeted by the gentle ringing of my alarm. In a rush of adrenaline I leaped out of bed not even bothering to wipe the sleep out of my eyes. Running out of my bedroom and down the narrow hallway towards the living room. Convincing myself It had all just been a horrible, horrible nightmare and everything was alright. Mom and Dad would be fixing breakfast, Dad softly singing a Harchen folk song while making something savory and delicious as mom sang along in harmony, preparing something special for my baby sister Naila. Oh yes and Naila, she would probably be sitting on a cushion in the sunny part of the living room. Holding her crooked tail, a birth defect which my parents said could be fixed when she was older. And making excited chirping noises at my arrival, while sunlight shone against her emerald scales. I loved my baby sister, I knew other kids resented having a younger sibling. Dismissing their responsibilities and spending less time with their family and more with their friends. I never once felt that way, the moment Naila hatched I devoted every spare minute I had to her. Finding music that would help her fall asleep, watching over her when my mom needed a break. Excitedly telling her about the day's events and what I learned at school, especially what I learned in computer science which was my favorite class.
“Mom! Dad!” I yelled bursting into the living room. “I just had the worst…” My voice trailed off as I was greeted with nothing “dream.” My heart tightened painfully in my chest, as I frantically ran through the house throwing open every door, knowing that they had to be here somewhere. They were just playing a game on me that was all, a game I would tell them I didn't appreciate. After the final door had been opened and no one was there to yell “Surprise!” My body slumped and I felt heavy as reality set back in, and the memories of what happened hit me like a hammer. I made my way back down the hall to my room, tail dragging behind me as I crawled back into bed. Wrapping myself tightly in a blanket, trying to find some comfort.
It must have been hours I lay there feeling numb all over, wishing I could get up the energy to just cry. I think I might have fallen asleep at one point. If I did it was a dreamless sleep, thank the stars for that. Eventually I did get up, sitting cross-legged on my bed, resting my chin in my paws, staring holes into the wall. I took a deep breath and side numbly looked out the window, searching for anything to distract myself with.
It was overcast, and eerily quiet. The emergency sirens had stopped blaring yesterday mere hours after everyone had gotten to the bunkers. The bodies of the dead had already been collected and their blood cleaned from the pavement. So as to not attract any predators into the neighborhood. I saw my neighbor A'shul was home, his white vehicle was sporting some new dents. I wondered, when he got into his vehicle yesterday morning and drove to the nearest bunker; did he try to help anyone? Or was he thinking only of himself? I suppose it didn't matter really. Nothing mattered.
I turned my head away and looked around my small room taking in everything, every trinket, misplaced item, my old second-hand desk, a big green crackle finished monster. Better suited for a Venlil than a young Harchen, heck I needed a stool just to use it. I had gotten it for basically nothing about a year ago, when the local extermination office was getting rid of their old furniture. All it took was a small bribe and they put it in my bedroom when no one was home. My parents, but especially my mom we're not happy when they saw it the next day. They would tell me at least once a week that It was too big for me and they were going to get rid of that eyesore. “Wouldn't you like something a little more modern dear?” My mom would ask, practically pleading for me to say yes. I used to pray that my parents would just shut up and stop bugging me about that stupid desk. I thought it was great, it made me think of private detective Bal from the exterminators show. Bal was a no nonsense Harchen who was so often pivotal in tracking down the predator or predator diseased person. My desk was very similar to his and that's why I wanted it. But at that moment, I would have given anything to hear those words again.
On the desk there was an ornate wooden box, with a fruit tree in full bloom delicately carved into its lid. There were also scuff marks where it had been dropped, and a deep crack running down the center. It was known as a blessing box, Naila's blessing box to be specific. When she hatched nearly ten months ago the whole neighborhood had been invited to come and write a blessing on a scrap of paper and put it in the box. I had written one too, not a blessing but a promise, a promise I couldn't keep. The belief was that if kept near the infant, the combined power of all those blessings would keep the hatchling safe until their first birthday. Where on that day the box would be set on fire and burned to ash. Releasing those blessings back into the world so they may protect someone else. It was an old tradition and not commonly practiced anymore, but as my dad always said “It is important to keep the old traditions alive my son. Both in song and action.” I remember asking him why? And he looked at me like he had been waiting for that question for a long time. “Because” He said, his tail moving with authority. “Someday when you lose your way, and you don't know where to turn to. You will always have something to guide you back to your center.”
Looking away from the box not wanting to look or think about the damn thing, I shifted my gaze down to my bedside table. There was a little holographic projector showing pictures of me, Mom, Dad and Naila on holiday back on Fahl, the Harchen home world to see family. I was born and raised on Venlil prime, so I didn't really know any of my extended family. There was a picture of my mom and Naila sleeping at the beach. Naila’s crooked tail coiled around mom’s arm, their scales a deep emerald in the light of the sun. The picture changed to me and Dad putting the finishing touches on a sand skyscraper taller than him. I had to sit on his shoulders to place the last bucket full of sand on top. Both of our scales were as blue as the ocean. My tail flicked sadly thinking of that day. I reached over and turned the holo protector off.
My holopad lay next to me flashing, alerting me to an urgent message. I hadn't really looked at my holopad since yesterday morning. Picking it up I tapped the flashing icon. It was an official government statement signed by Governor Tarva herself, saying that the humans Noah and Sarah were peaceful explorers, and that they only wished to be our friends. ‘No, that's impossible, they’re predators. Predators don't want peace, they want to conquer, kill and eat us,’ stunned and confused I kept reading. The rest of the message stated that the two human scientists were completely unaware there was intelligent life of any kind on Venlil prime. ‘No! Lies! Predator lies!’ I yelled inside my head. Something hot began to form in my chest as I read the last bit. Governor Tarver had shown the two predators footage of the Arxur torturing Venlil pups. It said that the humans were capable of empathy and felt deeply saddened and angered by what they saw. They vowed to do everything in their power to get their united nations into the war against the Arxur.
I scrolled all the way down and what I saw stopped me cold. Standing in her office being flanked by General Kam, stood Governor Tarva. Beside them looming over the two Venlil one bigger than the other, both of them covered in some sort of protective suit. Their faces were obscured by dark visored helmets. It said that the larger of the two Noah was male, and the smaller one was Sarah female. Sarah had her hands clasped in front of her, while Noah kept his to his side. Neither were acting threatening, and neither Tarva or Kam looked to be harmed in any way.
Something in me snapped, that hot thing inside my chest erupted and I could feel my scales turn black. I very carefully set my holopad down beside me, then I uncrossed my legs and got out of bed. I stood there in the center of my room shaking slightly, feeling terribly calm as white hot rage flooded my body, spreading to my paws and all the way out to the tip of my long tail. It never had to happen, the panic, the stampede, the death, we could have stayed home and avoided those people. ‘No… no not people,’ a bitter thought came over me. ‘They're not people at all, people stop and help, like that Venlil girl Kayleik, she was a person maybe the only one. But the rest of them were just wild animals, masquerading as sentient beings. ‘Do you really think you're any better, coward?’ Some internal voice said.
A sudden impulse took control of me and I grabbed my desks stool and hurled it against the wall. It dented the wall and bounced off still in one piece. Enraged, I leaped forward grabbing it by the legs, then turned around and slammed it into my desk. The sheet metal dented and the green crackle finish paint flew off, but the stool made of good dense wood from the string fruit tree stayed whole. “DAMN THEM! DAMN THEM! DAMN THEM! DAMN THEM!” I screamed, slamming the stool down again and again, my tail whipping wildly, striking the bed and the floor. The tip of my tail began to hurt, which only fueled my anger. Finally I heard cracking and wood began to splinter off. They didn't have to die, we could have stayed home. The muscles in my shoulders burned and my heart pounded as hot tears began to well up. I brought it down one final time narrowly avoiding the blessing box, and the stool broke in two. I hurled the pieces away from me, one slamming into the corner the other crashing through the window.
I leaned against the desk catching my breath as tears flowed freely. ‘Well that definitely showed them didn't it. Hey I got a great idea! Let's go break some more stuff, that will definitely make you feel better. Idiot!’ That internal voice said all coldness and bitterness. As I cried, the burning in my chest cooled, and I was filled with the same numbness as before. After a while my stomach growled, reminding me I hadn't eaten since yesterday. I moved sluggishly out of my bedroom and went straight to the kitchen, quickly grabbed some fruit and left to go and watch the view screen or something. The moment I entered the living room, memories came flooding back. Mom and Dad laughing, Naila sleeping peacefully, the lingering aroma of breakfast, and the warmth of our home. But now it was all gone and I was alone. For the first time in my life, I had no one to go to.
It was right then I realized I couldn't stay here anymore. This place felt like a tomb, all cold and filled with the memories of the dead. Besides, if I stayed here someone would eventually send the authorities to come and get me. Ship me off to an orphanage, foster care or maybe to my extended family back on Fahl. I balked at the idea of being forced to live with people I didn't know or trust. Memories of yesterday's stampede invaded my mind and I shuddered. I couldn't trust any of them not anymore. No, there was one person I could think of that maybe I could trust. Turning around I went back to my room, found my backpack and grabbed my holopad, the blessing box, the holo projector and my blanket stuffing it into my pack. Then I went to the kitchen and filled my pack up the rest of the way with dried fruit and vegetable snacks. With my backpack looking like it was going to burst I shouldered it and made my way to the front door. When I rested my scaly paw on the door handle I stopped and looked back at the place that was once my home. “Goodbye” I said in a shaky voice, knowing this would be the last time I would never set foot in this house. With my head low I opened the door and stepped out, into the dim light of a new unfamiliar world.
2024.05.19 00:44 PhoenixMori 38 [M4F] Super sweet stoner nerd photographer looking for someone to make memories and listen to records with
Hey reddit! I'm a 38 year old latin guy from Washington DC. Honesty is the best policy so I'll make it known now that I'm not looking for platonic friends, I'm looking for a romantic partner. Buckle up, because I'm about to unveil why I may or may not be the right partner for you in a classic listicle style that all you youngin's love.
About Me:
You'll never believe number 6!
P.S - I'm 6'2. I should've started with that.
submitted by PhoenixMori to R4R30Plus [link] [comments]
About Me:
You'll never believe number 6!
- I'm a bit of a stoner. It's true, your boy loves himself some marijuana. (In fact, I just did a 20mg edible) I endeavor to never let it take over my life, but it aids a lot in #2 on this list. I'm also not a stranger to the very occasional mushroom trip.
- I'm a true creative. Left to my own devices in an empty room, I would constantly create new things. Whether that be drawing, writings, photography, music or stoner ideas. It's my true nature to be a creative and to stifle that part of myself makes me pretty sad. Fortunately, I get to create on a daily basis. which brings me to..
- I have the kindest heart. I see life through rose colored glasses, some may say. I just believe in the good in people. I think most people are good and those that are bad are redeemable. Whether someone is ultra religious, a different political affiliation, good, bad, ugly, whatever...I believe in getting to know them for myself and making my own decision of them. As a friend I always stick by my friends, no matter what. Friends in my life are friends for life, even if we lose touch. There is a downside to all this...it's that sometimes people take advantage of me. I don't care. When confronted with the choice to be loving or to be cruel or apathetic, I will always choose loving.
- I make people laugh. Comedy and jokes have always been a part of me. Maybe it's the fact that I'm a middle child and craved attention or the fact that I grew up in a city where I had to be quick on my feet, but I love to make people laugh. This is best done in person but there can be humor over the internet too. :)
- I don't take myself too seriously. I'm a talented person in my field and it's important for me to let go of my ego. There isn't a single person that I can't learn from and at my best I'm always open to listen to people's opinions of me or my creative work.
- I see beauty in everyone, including you. If you hadn't guessed by now, I'm a photographer. I'm into portraits and I value my connection with people one-on-one and I think that's what makes me a talented portrait photographer. I often hear people talk about the things they hate about themselves but try to reflect to them their true beauty. The beauty that was always there and that they need to be reconnected to.
- I'm culturally Latino. My parents are from El Salvador, but I was born and raised in DC. I have the experience of being born into a family of immigrants and understand the duality of living in two different worlds. While Spanish was my first language, it is not what I consider to be my native tongue. While I understand all Spanish, all my Spanish is food related.
- I've done the self work. It's true. I'm not a man that punches walls, gets drunk and cries, will cheat on you, lie to you or a myriad of other things that toxic people do. I am not without faults, of course, but I have worked my demons out for the most part. I'm very self-aware and open to criticism and change.
- I'm honest 99.5% of the time. Anyone professing to be honest 100% of the time is a liar. Ask me directly and I'll tell you my last big lie.
- I know where I want to be in life. I'm close to getting there too. I've been at it for 13 years now and I feel that success is imminent. Will you be a part of it?
P.S - I'm 6'2. I should've started with that.
2024.05.19 00:41 Shadow_Storm066 Hi, new to the Thread, but I'm petty, so here's my first petty post. Also, sorry in advance, this is kind of long, it's a long story.
Ok, so, I used to live in a different state during my childhood than the one I live in now (I live in the Northern US, originally born in this northern state as well). I lived in this other state from the ages of 6 until I was almost 16, and throughout the entirety of my elementary and middle school years up until the middle of 9th grade (which was at the high school, some start at 10th grade instead of 9th).
There were 2 main bullies that I dealt with starting in 1st grade/first school year after moving to this state, and as the years went on, these two girls (let's call them Marie & Clarisse) would get their friends in on bullying me. I wasn't popular by any means, but my mother always had me in sports and extracurricular activities with these girls, so I could never really escape them. It was just as bad outside of anything school related as Marie has two younger brothers that my brother was friends with, so I had to pretend to be the 'best of friends' with Marie from 1st grade up until about the end of 7th grade since our families drifted apart from being "close friends".
As far as typical bullying goes in elementary school, I dealt with constant name-calling and cruel "pranks", mostly aimed towards my weight, I wasn't fat, but I wasn't skinny either despite being in sports and was always active. However, those incidents extended to my stuff being stolen, like my notebooks I'd use for schoolwork, or my box of pencils/pens/etc., forcing me to constantly borrow from the few friends I actually had or from the teachers. I used to be in band (which started in 6th grade in that school district), and I played the clarinet, my stepdad had bought me a very nice/sturdy and somewhat expensive tote bag to put my clarinet, music stand, and music binders in for easier storage and to keep my hands free when transporting my 'equipment'. Us band kids were allowed to keep our instruments behind the curtains of the stage in the school's cafeteria (the stage was against the farthest wall from the kitchen/lunch lines), and out of the ~20 kids in band, only my expensive/sturdy tote bag was stolen within the last 2 days of 6th grade, of course suspects were Marie & Clarisse (I saw Clarisse using my tote bag that summer, as my now-smudged name had been written in permanent marker on the straps and one of the sides of the bag). I left it be because I didn't want any conflict, my stepdad bought me another one after finding out the original one was stolen in the first place.
Middle school wasn't much better as the name calling got extensively more graphic and consisted of slurs (like the F slur, as I'm proudly part of the LGBTQ+ community, specifically AgendeNon-binary), furthering the self-hurting thoughts that had started in 3rd grade. I had continuously tried to tell my mom and stepdad about it, only for my pleas for help to go unheard until one week during the winter season in 7th grade. I had gotten sick for 2 days and stayed home an extra day to recover, but during those three days, Marie, Clarisse and their friends had made an Instagram account, posting very unattractive pictures of fellow classmates (i.e. purposely taking pictures with very unflattering angles, poor lighting, etc) and blamed it on me since they put my address in the private information into that account. My mom had found the account, immediately asking about if I was the one behind it, she unfortunately didn't believe me until *after* she ripped my phone from me to look through it for "evidence" that I made the account. When I returned to school the following Thursday after recovering from the small cold, I was constantly bombarded by fellow students about the account since Marie & Clarisse were the ones that spread the obvious false rumor that I made it. By the end of the day, I had finally snapped, yelling "I didn't make that f-cking account. Why can't everyone just stop bothering me about it?" Of course, that earned plenty of attention from the teachers and students within earshot (and thanks to the tiled floors and walls, my yelling echoed throughout most of the first floor and partly into the second floor of my school), I ended up having to talk with the counselor about the whole ordeal because of my frustrated outburst, which resulted with very little help from the staff, but after a few weeks, people seemed to forget that the account even existed since it ended up deleted within a few days after my outburst.
That following school year, 8th grade, was even worse. Sure, the slurs, the other name-calling and thievery of my belongings continued (more so the slurs/name-calling), but by this year, I was almost constantly committing the self-hurting since my mother was of no help, my stepdad was sympathetic but always working and the therapist my mother found for me was basically a deadbeat with bullying situations (she didn't seem to understand or even want to actually help me with the bullying as she was more of a family therapist than anything else). For the district curriculum, we are required to take health class in 8th grade, and as we were going over the unit that encompassed depression, self-harm, and su!c!dal thoughts/actions, I constantly had to have another staff member in the back of the classroom to watch over me and take me out of the class if any of the course material triggered an episode. Thankfully the staff member was that was there for me was the school's police officer, let's call him Officer Lennox, he was like a protective older brother, especially after finding out about how consistently I was bullied. Near the end of the unit, we had to watch Ronan's Escape (it's on YouTube), and since I was going through my own version of Ronan's situation, I ended up breaking down sobbing in class, only to be laughed at by some of the boys that were close friends with Marie & Clarisse. Officer Lennox snapped at them as professionally as possible while helping me out of the classroom to go sit with the nurse to have some downtime to stop sobbing before I was allowed back to my classes.
Another situation, which is the worst of it in 8th grade, was this one girl, let's call her Ava. She thought it would be hilarious to eavesdrop into my conversations with my best friend (we'll refer to her as Raven since that was a nickname she used) throughout lunch and shared classes, only to take our conversations completely out of context in order to string up a lie that Raven and I were planning to unalive the principle. Of course, this wasn't true, the principle was an a-hole to everyone, and Raven & I would discuss that we greatly disliked him. Ava mostly got away with spreading this lie as her mom was a higher-up in the school district, forcing Raven and I to entirely change our class schedules so we weren't in any classes with Ava, as well as almost being expelled. Thanks to Officer Lennox sticking up for both of us, we only had to have in-school suspension for 3 days instead of being expelled. Sadly, Ava got very little repercussions from this, but Raven and I grew even closer as best friends after "The Incident" as we still refer to it as almost 10 years later.
Summer rolled through without a hitch, leading to 9th grade, the start of high school. I was given more freedom from my mother (she's a helicopter parent and abusive/narcissistic) to dress in clothing that I preferred in comparison to always wearing brightly colored athletic wear. I completely changed my appearance, chopped my hair from just above the small of my back to a punk pixie-styled cut, and started wearing graphic t-shirts, ripped jeans, combat boots, and leather jackets. On top of that, I started becoming more confrontational/combative towards my bullies, since they still wouldn't let up, I earned a "bad@ass/bad b!tch" reputation, made friends with other rebellious and misfit types of people in the grades above me, and just fully became more of "me" despite the disapproval from my mother of the amount of change I undergone.
Despite being 14 at the start of 9th grade, I began dating, specifically one fellow student that was a very close friend and felon, he went to jail/juvie throughout the 2nd half of 7th grade and all of 8th grade. He came to the high school 3 months after the year started, and our friendship-turned-relationship sparked right back up as if he never left. I had kept my dating life secret from my family, mostly my mother because I know how bad her reaction would've been if I told her. With him almost always by my side (excluding classes we didn't share), my brand-new appearance, and my quickly attained delinquent/rebellious reputation, most of my issues dissipated much quicker than before. In spite of that, Marie & Clarisse kept making their remarks, trying to drag down my new confidence and constantly break my felon boyfriend (let's call him Collin) and I up. They got more degrading and verbally abusive with these antics, I eventually was completely fed up with it all. In the middle of the school year, within a couple weeks after Yule (Christmas for the non-pagans) & New Years Break, Marie, Clarisse and their group of friends had stopped me in the hallway, purposely surrounding me (there was about 30 of them in total) on my way to class, continuing with their shtick as usual, I slipped the pocketknife out of my pocket, flicking it open as I finally gave in and threatened to unalive them and everyone they care for if they don't leave me the f-ck alone. They saw the opened knife and knew then & there that I was 100% serious, I turned on my heels, shoving through them only to notice the principal and school's police officer (not officer Lennox) staring at me with concerned expressions, they also noticed the knife as there was a glint from the blade due to the blindly bright lights in the hallway. Not a word was uttered as they walked away, never sending a call to my mother or stepdad about the weapon or the confrontation as they had seen my progression in attitude and the amount of f-cks I had (which was none). After that day, those girls never spoke to me again, would barely glance in my direction, would purposely take alternate routes to class if they saw me in the hallway (or would keep to the wall if they couldn't move quick enough), and if we shared any classes, they'd be on the opposite side of the room from me and would do everything they could to never be partnered/grouped with me in class projects.
Everything was smooth sailing from then on, and now I'm 22 (as of late April this year), happily living with my bio-dad, my brother and my 2-year-old kitty, Ziggy. My mother is out of the picture entirely as she refuses to change her mindset and parenting style. I'm still confrontational towards anyone that tries messing with me, especially if they're anti-LGBTQ+/racist/abusive/etc. And thanks to my continuation of my drastic change from 8th grade to 9th grade, I'm now considered both the protector and the therapist to my friends, always there for them because I grew up knowing what it was like to not have that kind of support. I hope this story of roughly half my life can provide some sort of comfort or proof that it does indeed get better, even if it doesn't seem like it in the moment.
submitted by Shadow_Storm066 to CharlotteDobreYouTube [link] [comments]
There were 2 main bullies that I dealt with starting in 1st grade/first school year after moving to this state, and as the years went on, these two girls (let's call them Marie & Clarisse) would get their friends in on bullying me. I wasn't popular by any means, but my mother always had me in sports and extracurricular activities with these girls, so I could never really escape them. It was just as bad outside of anything school related as Marie has two younger brothers that my brother was friends with, so I had to pretend to be the 'best of friends' with Marie from 1st grade up until about the end of 7th grade since our families drifted apart from being "close friends".
As far as typical bullying goes in elementary school, I dealt with constant name-calling and cruel "pranks", mostly aimed towards my weight, I wasn't fat, but I wasn't skinny either despite being in sports and was always active. However, those incidents extended to my stuff being stolen, like my notebooks I'd use for schoolwork, or my box of pencils/pens/etc., forcing me to constantly borrow from the few friends I actually had or from the teachers. I used to be in band (which started in 6th grade in that school district), and I played the clarinet, my stepdad had bought me a very nice/sturdy and somewhat expensive tote bag to put my clarinet, music stand, and music binders in for easier storage and to keep my hands free when transporting my 'equipment'. Us band kids were allowed to keep our instruments behind the curtains of the stage in the school's cafeteria (the stage was against the farthest wall from the kitchen/lunch lines), and out of the ~20 kids in band, only my expensive/sturdy tote bag was stolen within the last 2 days of 6th grade, of course suspects were Marie & Clarisse (I saw Clarisse using my tote bag that summer, as my now-smudged name had been written in permanent marker on the straps and one of the sides of the bag). I left it be because I didn't want any conflict, my stepdad bought me another one after finding out the original one was stolen in the first place.
Middle school wasn't much better as the name calling got extensively more graphic and consisted of slurs (like the F slur, as I'm proudly part of the LGBTQ+ community, specifically AgendeNon-binary), furthering the self-hurting thoughts that had started in 3rd grade. I had continuously tried to tell my mom and stepdad about it, only for my pleas for help to go unheard until one week during the winter season in 7th grade. I had gotten sick for 2 days and stayed home an extra day to recover, but during those three days, Marie, Clarisse and their friends had made an Instagram account, posting very unattractive pictures of fellow classmates (i.e. purposely taking pictures with very unflattering angles, poor lighting, etc) and blamed it on me since they put my address in the private information into that account. My mom had found the account, immediately asking about if I was the one behind it, she unfortunately didn't believe me until *after* she ripped my phone from me to look through it for "evidence" that I made the account. When I returned to school the following Thursday after recovering from the small cold, I was constantly bombarded by fellow students about the account since Marie & Clarisse were the ones that spread the obvious false rumor that I made it. By the end of the day, I had finally snapped, yelling "I didn't make that f-cking account. Why can't everyone just stop bothering me about it?" Of course, that earned plenty of attention from the teachers and students within earshot (and thanks to the tiled floors and walls, my yelling echoed throughout most of the first floor and partly into the second floor of my school), I ended up having to talk with the counselor about the whole ordeal because of my frustrated outburst, which resulted with very little help from the staff, but after a few weeks, people seemed to forget that the account even existed since it ended up deleted within a few days after my outburst.
That following school year, 8th grade, was even worse. Sure, the slurs, the other name-calling and thievery of my belongings continued (more so the slurs/name-calling), but by this year, I was almost constantly committing the self-hurting since my mother was of no help, my stepdad was sympathetic but always working and the therapist my mother found for me was basically a deadbeat with bullying situations (she didn't seem to understand or even want to actually help me with the bullying as she was more of a family therapist than anything else). For the district curriculum, we are required to take health class in 8th grade, and as we were going over the unit that encompassed depression, self-harm, and su!c!dal thoughts/actions, I constantly had to have another staff member in the back of the classroom to watch over me and take me out of the class if any of the course material triggered an episode. Thankfully the staff member was that was there for me was the school's police officer, let's call him Officer Lennox, he was like a protective older brother, especially after finding out about how consistently I was bullied. Near the end of the unit, we had to watch Ronan's Escape (it's on YouTube), and since I was going through my own version of Ronan's situation, I ended up breaking down sobbing in class, only to be laughed at by some of the boys that were close friends with Marie & Clarisse. Officer Lennox snapped at them as professionally as possible while helping me out of the classroom to go sit with the nurse to have some downtime to stop sobbing before I was allowed back to my classes.
Another situation, which is the worst of it in 8th grade, was this one girl, let's call her Ava. She thought it would be hilarious to eavesdrop into my conversations with my best friend (we'll refer to her as Raven since that was a nickname she used) throughout lunch and shared classes, only to take our conversations completely out of context in order to string up a lie that Raven and I were planning to unalive the principle. Of course, this wasn't true, the principle was an a-hole to everyone, and Raven & I would discuss that we greatly disliked him. Ava mostly got away with spreading this lie as her mom was a higher-up in the school district, forcing Raven and I to entirely change our class schedules so we weren't in any classes with Ava, as well as almost being expelled. Thanks to Officer Lennox sticking up for both of us, we only had to have in-school suspension for 3 days instead of being expelled. Sadly, Ava got very little repercussions from this, but Raven and I grew even closer as best friends after "The Incident" as we still refer to it as almost 10 years later.
Summer rolled through without a hitch, leading to 9th grade, the start of high school. I was given more freedom from my mother (she's a helicopter parent and abusive/narcissistic) to dress in clothing that I preferred in comparison to always wearing brightly colored athletic wear. I completely changed my appearance, chopped my hair from just above the small of my back to a punk pixie-styled cut, and started wearing graphic t-shirts, ripped jeans, combat boots, and leather jackets. On top of that, I started becoming more confrontational/combative towards my bullies, since they still wouldn't let up, I earned a "bad@ass/bad b!tch" reputation, made friends with other rebellious and misfit types of people in the grades above me, and just fully became more of "me" despite the disapproval from my mother of the amount of change I undergone.
Despite being 14 at the start of 9th grade, I began dating, specifically one fellow student that was a very close friend and felon, he went to jail/juvie throughout the 2nd half of 7th grade and all of 8th grade. He came to the high school 3 months after the year started, and our friendship-turned-relationship sparked right back up as if he never left. I had kept my dating life secret from my family, mostly my mother because I know how bad her reaction would've been if I told her. With him almost always by my side (excluding classes we didn't share), my brand-new appearance, and my quickly attained delinquent/rebellious reputation, most of my issues dissipated much quicker than before. In spite of that, Marie & Clarisse kept making their remarks, trying to drag down my new confidence and constantly break my felon boyfriend (let's call him Collin) and I up. They got more degrading and verbally abusive with these antics, I eventually was completely fed up with it all. In the middle of the school year, within a couple weeks after Yule (Christmas for the non-pagans) & New Years Break, Marie, Clarisse and their group of friends had stopped me in the hallway, purposely surrounding me (there was about 30 of them in total) on my way to class, continuing with their shtick as usual, I slipped the pocketknife out of my pocket, flicking it open as I finally gave in and threatened to unalive them and everyone they care for if they don't leave me the f-ck alone. They saw the opened knife and knew then & there that I was 100% serious, I turned on my heels, shoving through them only to notice the principal and school's police officer (not officer Lennox) staring at me with concerned expressions, they also noticed the knife as there was a glint from the blade due to the blindly bright lights in the hallway. Not a word was uttered as they walked away, never sending a call to my mother or stepdad about the weapon or the confrontation as they had seen my progression in attitude and the amount of f-cks I had (which was none). After that day, those girls never spoke to me again, would barely glance in my direction, would purposely take alternate routes to class if they saw me in the hallway (or would keep to the wall if they couldn't move quick enough), and if we shared any classes, they'd be on the opposite side of the room from me and would do everything they could to never be partnered/grouped with me in class projects.
Everything was smooth sailing from then on, and now I'm 22 (as of late April this year), happily living with my bio-dad, my brother and my 2-year-old kitty, Ziggy. My mother is out of the picture entirely as she refuses to change her mindset and parenting style. I'm still confrontational towards anyone that tries messing with me, especially if they're anti-LGBTQ+/racist/abusive/etc. And thanks to my continuation of my drastic change from 8th grade to 9th grade, I'm now considered both the protector and the therapist to my friends, always there for them because I grew up knowing what it was like to not have that kind of support. I hope this story of roughly half my life can provide some sort of comfort or proof that it does indeed get better, even if it doesn't seem like it in the moment.
2024.05.19 00:31 EdgeNo8153 It feels better not to rely on beliefs and wishes
I was always raised a Christian but was never was devout or practiced it much. As I grew older I started to have critical thinking about my religion, so I did some research about Christianity and came to the conclusion it was all bull and I became an atheist. My Christian parents respected my choice for it and I was happy. Anyways, I thought nothing of it, I told myself things like "how could a man come from the dead and walk on water?" I thought about it all being fake and laughed about it. And I saw heaven as nothing but comfort. And that we are not obligated to follow a bunch of rules and life isn't some shitty test for death.
One day, I was playing fortnite on my computer and then started thinking about Christianity and it being false, then I thought about the afterlife not being real and it hit me. Without an afterlife what would happen to those I love? My dog, my parents? It really hit me to the point I couldn't play anymore and had to get off the game. I went to my bed and cuddled in my blanket so I could think properly. I thought, "Wow, I believed in heaven my whole life and now I'm realizing it isn't real" I started to imagine my loved ones being deceased and me not seeing them anymore if they died, it made me cry in bed so badly. Which surprised me since I never cry, Im usually strong inside and I couldn't recall the last time I cried about anything. This whole week was absolute shit for me, when I woke up it was the first thing I thought and when I got out of bed I looked at my dog and thought. Wow, you will be really gone eventually? Every time I walked him or looked at him or my parents it made me sob but I tried to hide it. I just wanted to be in my room alone. When I went to school I couldn't focus and my grades became shit, I was isolated and felt sad even cried sometimes which made me annoyed and upset.
I told myself, that they will rest in peace and fulfill their life as animals/human beings. And I ended up becoming stronger about it. And the pain kind of went away. Eventually, I came home after school and started sobbing about it out of nowhere in my bed, the pain came back and it hurt like I was stabbed in the chest, I thought that if I am this upset even though my loved ones are here now, it would ABSOLUTELY destroy me if they go. I never thought about life to this extent and wish I didn't. I tried looking at atheism posts and people losing their loved ones to make myself feel better but it never helped that much. So I decided to do more research about Christianity, I discovered more evidence about it and it made me regain my faith. I was happy. Life felt a bit better. But then as I did more critical thinking I couldn't bring myself to believe anymore.
My thoughts always consisted of; "How do Christians know we have a soul with no evidence?" "Are we obligated to live forever after death" "Poking with the brain and things like Alzheimers disprove a soul right?, would we magically regain memories after death?" All these thoughts killed my faith, but it also changed me. I don't know if I would want to live forever basically being immortal, or for my family and loved ones to live forever. It kinda made me feel upset, when I imagined heaven I felt sad or that I didn't really think it was true. When I looked at things from an agnostic perspective I thought it was nicer for life to have an end for things even if it seemed unfair. But I didn't like either scenario much, if anything I would rather heaven. But I couldn't bring myself to believe such ridiculous things and I didn't wanna live my life and die believing in some fairy tale.
I went from being an atheist to agnostic, to Christian, and I am a deist currently. I went through such a weird phase. I am a deist now because I believe there is some sort of intelligent being that created us but not the Christian god. I find being an atheist irrational as we cannot be just some random cause. And things that help us live like white blood cells defending our body, or why do we have things natural that support our life on this earth? It couldn't be just by some accidental or random cause.
I feel that believing in heaven is wishful thinking, and the soul is just a fallacy that people waste their time trying to prove. But I'm aware consciousness may not just be the brain. Anyways, I am reading a book to help me understand things in life and maybe I could get somewhere. And thing are getting better for me, I take shower thoughts to help me focus, and Im feeling a lot better. I just hope you guys know that life always has a meaning whether you are religious or not, we give it meaning and we are so gifted to have the opportunities we have now.
submitted by EdgeNo8153 to atheism [link] [comments]
One day, I was playing fortnite on my computer and then started thinking about Christianity and it being false, then I thought about the afterlife not being real and it hit me. Without an afterlife what would happen to those I love? My dog, my parents? It really hit me to the point I couldn't play anymore and had to get off the game. I went to my bed and cuddled in my blanket so I could think properly. I thought, "Wow, I believed in heaven my whole life and now I'm realizing it isn't real" I started to imagine my loved ones being deceased and me not seeing them anymore if they died, it made me cry in bed so badly. Which surprised me since I never cry, Im usually strong inside and I couldn't recall the last time I cried about anything. This whole week was absolute shit for me, when I woke up it was the first thing I thought and when I got out of bed I looked at my dog and thought. Wow, you will be really gone eventually? Every time I walked him or looked at him or my parents it made me sob but I tried to hide it. I just wanted to be in my room alone. When I went to school I couldn't focus and my grades became shit, I was isolated and felt sad even cried sometimes which made me annoyed and upset.
I told myself, that they will rest in peace and fulfill their life as animals/human beings. And I ended up becoming stronger about it. And the pain kind of went away. Eventually, I came home after school and started sobbing about it out of nowhere in my bed, the pain came back and it hurt like I was stabbed in the chest, I thought that if I am this upset even though my loved ones are here now, it would ABSOLUTELY destroy me if they go. I never thought about life to this extent and wish I didn't. I tried looking at atheism posts and people losing their loved ones to make myself feel better but it never helped that much. So I decided to do more research about Christianity, I discovered more evidence about it and it made me regain my faith. I was happy. Life felt a bit better. But then as I did more critical thinking I couldn't bring myself to believe anymore.
My thoughts always consisted of; "How do Christians know we have a soul with no evidence?" "Are we obligated to live forever after death" "Poking with the brain and things like Alzheimers disprove a soul right?, would we magically regain memories after death?" All these thoughts killed my faith, but it also changed me. I don't know if I would want to live forever basically being immortal, or for my family and loved ones to live forever. It kinda made me feel upset, when I imagined heaven I felt sad or that I didn't really think it was true. When I looked at things from an agnostic perspective I thought it was nicer for life to have an end for things even if it seemed unfair. But I didn't like either scenario much, if anything I would rather heaven. But I couldn't bring myself to believe such ridiculous things and I didn't wanna live my life and die believing in some fairy tale.
I went from being an atheist to agnostic, to Christian, and I am a deist currently. I went through such a weird phase. I am a deist now because I believe there is some sort of intelligent being that created us but not the Christian god. I find being an atheist irrational as we cannot be just some random cause. And things that help us live like white blood cells defending our body, or why do we have things natural that support our life on this earth? It couldn't be just by some accidental or random cause.
I feel that believing in heaven is wishful thinking, and the soul is just a fallacy that people waste their time trying to prove. But I'm aware consciousness may not just be the brain. Anyways, I am reading a book to help me understand things in life and maybe I could get somewhere. And thing are getting better for me, I take shower thoughts to help me focus, and Im feeling a lot better. I just hope you guys know that life always has a meaning whether you are religious or not, we give it meaning and we are so gifted to have the opportunities we have now.
2024.05.19 00:27 Equal-Peach8422 i left him physically and i want to break up completely but i’m scared i’ll regret going no contact (even tho ik i won’t🫠)
i’m so sorry if this is rlly long, im new to reddit so pls let me know if i need to shorten it and how to do so😭
hi so this is kinda hard to explain fully so i’ll try to explain the most important parts.
this maybe a TW to a lot of ppl so please be careful reading this i don’t want to upset anyone! ⚠️
so i’m 20(f) and i’ve been with this guy (also 20)for about over two years. we met in highschool when i was going through a breakup and he was one of my only closest friends. as with all abusive relationships, it started off so amazing, it was my first in person serious relationship so i was fully heard over heels. so much so that when red flags started popping up i ignored them. it started off with him telling me to drop my closest guy friends, etc… and i did because he used him having no friends at all to make me feel like i had to do the same. he also got me into smoking weed, which i have nothing against btw, it was just bad for me because i used it to cope with a lot of my depression. since i smoked weed more often, i started gaining weight which i had no problem with since i had gone through a severe case of anorexia about 2 years prior, but it did make me a little insecure. slowly he started insulting my weight, my body, and so many other things, until it led to the point where he got physical after around six or seven months of us dating. i remember his mom walking in on him about to hit me with a belt and she had been abused by his dad and my bf witnessed it all, so she was very angry at him and she took my side, and i’ll never forget what she told me; “this isn’t love. someone who loves you would never even think of putting their hands on you”. i still feel guilty for not listening to her. i wanted to believe in him so badly, so i stayed and things just got worse.
everyday there was a fight, either verbally or physically (most of the time both), and i just felt so horrible. so i eventually wanted to adopt a cat, something i always wanted to do since i was a little girl. i adopted a kitten and unfortunately my parents did not allow me to keep him at my house because of my dog, and i asked my bf if i could keep him at his house for the meantime while i can work with my parents on how he can live with me (the kitten). i am not exaggerating when i say that that little kitten was my soulmate in a little cat body. he seemed to understand me and love me in a way no other human did. and i loved him more than anything. i eventually went on vacation with my family for a few days and when i came back i could tell somehow things were different. he wouldn’t let me see my kitten and when i pretty much forced him to let me see him, he started crying and begging me not to leave him. i of course panicked and agreed because i thought something bad happened to my kitten, and he showed me him and told me that he had broken one of his paws. i was so horrified, i felt so much pain at seeing my little buddy in that state, so i freaked out and i demanded and begged that he let me take him to the vet or anywhere else that wasn’t his house so that he can get help. but he refused, and even threatened me if i took him, saying it was his cat and just making me feel like it was my fault that this happened and not his. my biggest regret and the reason i feel guilty to this day is that i stayed out of fear, instead of taking my kitten with me and never looking back. he ended up killing my kitten one night that i went home (i have always lived with my parents), and he didn’t tell me until i came over the next day. it was the most painful and traumatic day of my life, knowing that i never got to say goodbye to my kitten, knowing how much my kitten loved me and how much i loved him, and now he was gone when he shouldn’t have been. i screamed and cried so much, and his (my bfs) only response was to aggressively attack me so i would be quiet, and blaming me that if i had taken him he would still be alive.
i felt so guilty and ashamed that i didn’t tell anyone until a month later, when i started having an onset of ptsd because of everything that happened, i decided to tell my therapist. she was horrified, saying that it was one of the most horrific things she ever heard, and honestly if it wasn’t for her help, i would’ve never survived that pain and guilt of losing my kitten. i know now that i was in a heavy denial that my bf would do something so horrible, so i continued on seeing him, but things just got worse and worse. he did so many fucked up things to me, physically, mentally, sexually, in almost every single way possible that you can imagine. i used weed as my coping mechanism for a lot of it, and it was the only way i could numb all the pain he was causing me. i was so depressed, i never felt suicidal with intentions of offing myself, but i did just want to go to sleep and never wake up. the guilt of my kittens death, combined with the horrible abuse this person that was supposed to love me was doing, was so painful. eventually i told my family what happened, but all they did was basically say that i “let it happen” and that “i should’ve left the first time he put his hands on me”, and that “why didn’t i defend myself the way i defended myself against them (referring to my family)”. it hurt but i understand they weren’t educated on it, especially coming from a minority family.
eventually a few months passed, and i found out i was pregnant. it was honestly one of the best days of my life, even if i was young, i still was happy because there was this little life in me. and i knew from the second i found out that i couldn’t stay with him. i couldn’t allow my baby to have that same life that i was living, but i didn’t know how to get out. he didn’t want me to continue the pregnancy when i told him, and even threatened to leave me and not support me at all, but i was determined to stand by my decision; he wasn’t going to take away my choice of having my baby. i stopped smoking weed the day i found out, and he always tried to make me smoke, which i refused, which would get him so upset. but i was determined to take care of my lil baby from the start, he had taken away too much already from me. i told my parents and they were disappointed but quickly became supportive, and encouraged me to leave him for good. it took a few months of me seeing him occasionally, but things not really changing, for me to leave him for good.
i left a few weeks ago due to me realizing that the only thing i was doing by going over to his house was putting myself and my baby in danger. and after a very scary traumatizing incident, i realized while crying and praying to God, that the only true love i’ve ever felt and feel at this point, is for my baby. my bf was no longer my whole world, it was my baby, and as a mother to be, i was going to do everything to protect my baby. i rather go through the pain of breaking away from my bf then something bad happening to me or even to my baby. not only does my baby deserve a happy and safe life, but i realized that i do too. and in order for my baby to be happy, i have to be happy as well. so i made a promise to God and to myself and my baby, that i was never ever going to see my bf again. so that day after i left his house, i never went back. i don’t blame other moms in these situations, because it is so incredibly difficult to get out, i know, trust me i do. but for me what has helped me stay strong in my decision, is seeing how much happier me and my baby are already. i only have a few more months until i give birth, and i can already feel him kicking so hard now and being much more active. i truly believe it’s because he senses that we’re truly safe now, that our nightmare is over.
it’s been really hard i’m not going to lie, i cry sometimes and miss the person i fell in love with, but my faith in God and my baby have helped me a lot, as well as my family! that person i fell in love with, left a long time ago, and was never truly there. i know that i’m doing the right decision for me and my baby, to be safe and to have a happy life together. i know i can be both mommy and daddy to him, and most importantly i’ll teach him that he has God as his father too, which is much much better than having a pos father tbh.
going back to the title of my post though, i realized in these recent days that i know it’s time to go no contact completely. i haven’t seen him at all which i know is good, but i know to fully move on i have to cut off all communication with him. i think he can sense i’m breaking away from him, because yesterday he begged me to come over, saying all the things he used to say before, like that he “wants to hold me”, he wants to get our favorite drink together and food, that he wants to feel our baby kick, which honestly made it so hard to say no but i stood by my decision as painful as it was 🫠i told him i will not see him because i know things are going to remain the same and i’m doing what’s best for my baby and for me. and that as much as i still have love for him and miss him, i will not put myself or my baby in danger any longer. he proved my point after i said that, because he basically said so many horrible things to me, including that i was a “dumb overweight bitch”, “fuck you”, and he got mad that i saved a video of MY kitten that HE killed, saying that “fuck you for saving a video of me and my boy”, and a bunch of other hurtful stuff. it was honestly so disgusting and it made me glad i stuck by my decision to not ever see him again. i left him on read so he spam called me and i only answered once to tell him to leave me alone, but he basically only called me to say “i rather spend money on drugs and alcohol than you and that fucking baby🥲”. i’m not going to lie and act like it didn’t hurt, it really did. it really really did. but it also strangely gives me strength and makes me feel reassured that i made the best decision ever by leaving, not only for myself but for most importantly my baby. i don’t need him in my life anymore, all i need is my baby, God, and my family.
ever since then i want to send him a message that i want to breakup with him for good and basically go no contact from there. it sounds stupid, but i’m still scared to do so, i’m scared i’ll regret it in a way, even though i know for certain i won’t. i also remember the “good times” and it makes me sad and feel guilty for “giving up on him” even tho i know he doesn’t deserve me at all🫠. i guess that’s the abused part of me being scared still. i know i’ve taken an important big step by cutting off physical contact, but i know i can’t keep talking to him because he’ll only find other ways to torment me and make me feel bad even from far away. i guess i just wanted to ask for reassurance that i’m doing the right thing? idk🥲 sometimes it feels like i’m not strong enough, but my baby always reminds me with his kicks (lol) of why i’m doing all of this, which is for him!! a mothers love is truly so strong, i never really knew that until now. i would do anything to protect my baby. the only thing that has kept me happy and strong enough to continue is him! :’) and i also want to cut off contact for good because i want to enjoy the last months of my pregnancy in peace lol, and once he’s born soon i def do not need my bf stressing me out nor do i want him to. i also do not want him to be apart of my baby’s life once he’s born, i made sure to collect evidence just in case he ever wants to ask for visitation rights, cuz there is NO WAY in hell i will ever allow him to be near my baby let alone be alone with him ever. it’s sad but it’s the reality of his actions, it’s my job to protect my baby first. i’m lucky to have my family’s financial support as well while i finish up college, so i def do not care if he threatens me with not paying child support. i just want him out of our lives for good.
so yeah im just looking for reassurance that im doing the right thing and any advice if anyone has some! 🥹🫶i just want to be a good mommy to my baby and i hope i’m doing just that already 🥲❤️🩹i haven’t really told many people about my story out of fear of judgment, so it’s really a big step for me to share, even if it’s anonymous in a way. im just focusing on trusting God and myself, and im so excited to meet my baby soon! 🥹and to do better in college since i’ve been slacking ever since i started due to all the trauma and problems my bf put me through. i’m excited in general, to get my life back and to start a new chapter with my little one! 🥹🥲🫶 i got in contact with my old friends which has been nice, i know i should try to socialize more so i won’t feel as depressed. i also am looking for a new therapist (i stopped going to my old one a few months ago due to it being out of pocket😭), which i’ve been procrastinating but i know it’s important to help me heal from my trauma and to help me with my ocd (which has gotten worse tbh and it makes me more anxious about my baby🥲 even tho i know he’s okay i’m just really paranoid always). i am sad, but not as sad as i was when i was with him. and while i don’t really want to find a partner in the future because my priority is my baby, i do hope i’ll one day find someone who can love me as i deserve. it feels impossible though, but i know that might just be because of all the effects of his abuse…
i hope even if you don’t have advice for me or anything to say (which is totally fine!) i hope people reading this can find comfort that all bad moments come to an end, and that you have the power to leave, as hard as it is ❤️🩹even if it doesn’t seem like it, i promise you will get through it. i’m still not over it completely, i def have a long way to go, but i know it’ll all be worth it, and tbh it already is worth it!
thank you for taking the time to read this, i send all my love and good vibes to all of you warriors! <3 :’)
submitted by Equal-Peach8422 to abusiverelationships [link] [comments]
hi so this is kinda hard to explain fully so i’ll try to explain the most important parts.
this maybe a TW to a lot of ppl so please be careful reading this i don’t want to upset anyone! ⚠️
so i’m 20(f) and i’ve been with this guy (also 20)for about over two years. we met in highschool when i was going through a breakup and he was one of my only closest friends. as with all abusive relationships, it started off so amazing, it was my first in person serious relationship so i was fully heard over heels. so much so that when red flags started popping up i ignored them. it started off with him telling me to drop my closest guy friends, etc… and i did because he used him having no friends at all to make me feel like i had to do the same. he also got me into smoking weed, which i have nothing against btw, it was just bad for me because i used it to cope with a lot of my depression. since i smoked weed more often, i started gaining weight which i had no problem with since i had gone through a severe case of anorexia about 2 years prior, but it did make me a little insecure. slowly he started insulting my weight, my body, and so many other things, until it led to the point where he got physical after around six or seven months of us dating. i remember his mom walking in on him about to hit me with a belt and she had been abused by his dad and my bf witnessed it all, so she was very angry at him and she took my side, and i’ll never forget what she told me; “this isn’t love. someone who loves you would never even think of putting their hands on you”. i still feel guilty for not listening to her. i wanted to believe in him so badly, so i stayed and things just got worse.
everyday there was a fight, either verbally or physically (most of the time both), and i just felt so horrible. so i eventually wanted to adopt a cat, something i always wanted to do since i was a little girl. i adopted a kitten and unfortunately my parents did not allow me to keep him at my house because of my dog, and i asked my bf if i could keep him at his house for the meantime while i can work with my parents on how he can live with me (the kitten). i am not exaggerating when i say that that little kitten was my soulmate in a little cat body. he seemed to understand me and love me in a way no other human did. and i loved him more than anything. i eventually went on vacation with my family for a few days and when i came back i could tell somehow things were different. he wouldn’t let me see my kitten and when i pretty much forced him to let me see him, he started crying and begging me not to leave him. i of course panicked and agreed because i thought something bad happened to my kitten, and he showed me him and told me that he had broken one of his paws. i was so horrified, i felt so much pain at seeing my little buddy in that state, so i freaked out and i demanded and begged that he let me take him to the vet or anywhere else that wasn’t his house so that he can get help. but he refused, and even threatened me if i took him, saying it was his cat and just making me feel like it was my fault that this happened and not his. my biggest regret and the reason i feel guilty to this day is that i stayed out of fear, instead of taking my kitten with me and never looking back. he ended up killing my kitten one night that i went home (i have always lived with my parents), and he didn’t tell me until i came over the next day. it was the most painful and traumatic day of my life, knowing that i never got to say goodbye to my kitten, knowing how much my kitten loved me and how much i loved him, and now he was gone when he shouldn’t have been. i screamed and cried so much, and his (my bfs) only response was to aggressively attack me so i would be quiet, and blaming me that if i had taken him he would still be alive.
i felt so guilty and ashamed that i didn’t tell anyone until a month later, when i started having an onset of ptsd because of everything that happened, i decided to tell my therapist. she was horrified, saying that it was one of the most horrific things she ever heard, and honestly if it wasn’t for her help, i would’ve never survived that pain and guilt of losing my kitten. i know now that i was in a heavy denial that my bf would do something so horrible, so i continued on seeing him, but things just got worse and worse. he did so many fucked up things to me, physically, mentally, sexually, in almost every single way possible that you can imagine. i used weed as my coping mechanism for a lot of it, and it was the only way i could numb all the pain he was causing me. i was so depressed, i never felt suicidal with intentions of offing myself, but i did just want to go to sleep and never wake up. the guilt of my kittens death, combined with the horrible abuse this person that was supposed to love me was doing, was so painful. eventually i told my family what happened, but all they did was basically say that i “let it happen” and that “i should’ve left the first time he put his hands on me”, and that “why didn’t i defend myself the way i defended myself against them (referring to my family)”. it hurt but i understand they weren’t educated on it, especially coming from a minority family.
eventually a few months passed, and i found out i was pregnant. it was honestly one of the best days of my life, even if i was young, i still was happy because there was this little life in me. and i knew from the second i found out that i couldn’t stay with him. i couldn’t allow my baby to have that same life that i was living, but i didn’t know how to get out. he didn’t want me to continue the pregnancy when i told him, and even threatened to leave me and not support me at all, but i was determined to stand by my decision; he wasn’t going to take away my choice of having my baby. i stopped smoking weed the day i found out, and he always tried to make me smoke, which i refused, which would get him so upset. but i was determined to take care of my lil baby from the start, he had taken away too much already from me. i told my parents and they were disappointed but quickly became supportive, and encouraged me to leave him for good. it took a few months of me seeing him occasionally, but things not really changing, for me to leave him for good.
i left a few weeks ago due to me realizing that the only thing i was doing by going over to his house was putting myself and my baby in danger. and after a very scary traumatizing incident, i realized while crying and praying to God, that the only true love i’ve ever felt and feel at this point, is for my baby. my bf was no longer my whole world, it was my baby, and as a mother to be, i was going to do everything to protect my baby. i rather go through the pain of breaking away from my bf then something bad happening to me or even to my baby. not only does my baby deserve a happy and safe life, but i realized that i do too. and in order for my baby to be happy, i have to be happy as well. so i made a promise to God and to myself and my baby, that i was never ever going to see my bf again. so that day after i left his house, i never went back. i don’t blame other moms in these situations, because it is so incredibly difficult to get out, i know, trust me i do. but for me what has helped me stay strong in my decision, is seeing how much happier me and my baby are already. i only have a few more months until i give birth, and i can already feel him kicking so hard now and being much more active. i truly believe it’s because he senses that we’re truly safe now, that our nightmare is over.
it’s been really hard i’m not going to lie, i cry sometimes and miss the person i fell in love with, but my faith in God and my baby have helped me a lot, as well as my family! that person i fell in love with, left a long time ago, and was never truly there. i know that i’m doing the right decision for me and my baby, to be safe and to have a happy life together. i know i can be both mommy and daddy to him, and most importantly i’ll teach him that he has God as his father too, which is much much better than having a pos father tbh.
going back to the title of my post though, i realized in these recent days that i know it’s time to go no contact completely. i haven’t seen him at all which i know is good, but i know to fully move on i have to cut off all communication with him. i think he can sense i’m breaking away from him, because yesterday he begged me to come over, saying all the things he used to say before, like that he “wants to hold me”, he wants to get our favorite drink together and food, that he wants to feel our baby kick, which honestly made it so hard to say no but i stood by my decision as painful as it was 🫠i told him i will not see him because i know things are going to remain the same and i’m doing what’s best for my baby and for me. and that as much as i still have love for him and miss him, i will not put myself or my baby in danger any longer. he proved my point after i said that, because he basically said so many horrible things to me, including that i was a “dumb overweight bitch”, “fuck you”, and he got mad that i saved a video of MY kitten that HE killed, saying that “fuck you for saving a video of me and my boy”, and a bunch of other hurtful stuff. it was honestly so disgusting and it made me glad i stuck by my decision to not ever see him again. i left him on read so he spam called me and i only answered once to tell him to leave me alone, but he basically only called me to say “i rather spend money on drugs and alcohol than you and that fucking baby🥲”. i’m not going to lie and act like it didn’t hurt, it really did. it really really did. but it also strangely gives me strength and makes me feel reassured that i made the best decision ever by leaving, not only for myself but for most importantly my baby. i don’t need him in my life anymore, all i need is my baby, God, and my family.
ever since then i want to send him a message that i want to breakup with him for good and basically go no contact from there. it sounds stupid, but i’m still scared to do so, i’m scared i’ll regret it in a way, even though i know for certain i won’t. i also remember the “good times” and it makes me sad and feel guilty for “giving up on him” even tho i know he doesn’t deserve me at all🫠. i guess that’s the abused part of me being scared still. i know i’ve taken an important big step by cutting off physical contact, but i know i can’t keep talking to him because he’ll only find other ways to torment me and make me feel bad even from far away. i guess i just wanted to ask for reassurance that i’m doing the right thing? idk🥲 sometimes it feels like i’m not strong enough, but my baby always reminds me with his kicks (lol) of why i’m doing all of this, which is for him!! a mothers love is truly so strong, i never really knew that until now. i would do anything to protect my baby. the only thing that has kept me happy and strong enough to continue is him! :’) and i also want to cut off contact for good because i want to enjoy the last months of my pregnancy in peace lol, and once he’s born soon i def do not need my bf stressing me out nor do i want him to. i also do not want him to be apart of my baby’s life once he’s born, i made sure to collect evidence just in case he ever wants to ask for visitation rights, cuz there is NO WAY in hell i will ever allow him to be near my baby let alone be alone with him ever. it’s sad but it’s the reality of his actions, it’s my job to protect my baby first. i’m lucky to have my family’s financial support as well while i finish up college, so i def do not care if he threatens me with not paying child support. i just want him out of our lives for good.
so yeah im just looking for reassurance that im doing the right thing and any advice if anyone has some! 🥹🫶i just want to be a good mommy to my baby and i hope i’m doing just that already 🥲❤️🩹i haven’t really told many people about my story out of fear of judgment, so it’s really a big step for me to share, even if it’s anonymous in a way. im just focusing on trusting God and myself, and im so excited to meet my baby soon! 🥹and to do better in college since i’ve been slacking ever since i started due to all the trauma and problems my bf put me through. i’m excited in general, to get my life back and to start a new chapter with my little one! 🥹🥲🫶 i got in contact with my old friends which has been nice, i know i should try to socialize more so i won’t feel as depressed. i also am looking for a new therapist (i stopped going to my old one a few months ago due to it being out of pocket😭), which i’ve been procrastinating but i know it’s important to help me heal from my trauma and to help me with my ocd (which has gotten worse tbh and it makes me more anxious about my baby🥲 even tho i know he’s okay i’m just really paranoid always). i am sad, but not as sad as i was when i was with him. and while i don’t really want to find a partner in the future because my priority is my baby, i do hope i’ll one day find someone who can love me as i deserve. it feels impossible though, but i know that might just be because of all the effects of his abuse…
i hope even if you don’t have advice for me or anything to say (which is totally fine!) i hope people reading this can find comfort that all bad moments come to an end, and that you have the power to leave, as hard as it is ❤️🩹even if it doesn’t seem like it, i promise you will get through it. i’m still not over it completely, i def have a long way to go, but i know it’ll all be worth it, and tbh it already is worth it!
thank you for taking the time to read this, i send all my love and good vibes to all of you warriors! <3 :’)
2024.05.19 00:15 ThrowRAtoothache My (26F) boyfriend's (26M) abysmal oral hygiene is killing our relationship (and probably him, to some degree). How do I get him to finally go to the dentist and take his health seriously?
The title, basically. Throwaway account because I'm pretty sure he's in this sub. TLDR at bottom.
I've been with my boyfriend for coming on two years now, and he has always been EXTREMELY cagey about his teeth from the beginning. Initially, I thought it was because they were a little bugs bunny-esque, but as I spent more time with him I realised that they were pretty yellow and I could see some tartar deposits on the front of his bottom teeth. Kinda gross, but I could just about overlook it as I never really noticed his breath being that smelly since he chewed gum and didn't open his mouth that wide when he spoke.
Cut to now...oh my god. His breath is genuinely unbearable. Like, there is morning breath and then there is whatever this is. I don't even have to be particularly close to him or facing him to smell his breath if he is just talking. I've started to pay more attention to his brushing habits, and I'll admit that when I stay over at his place I'll occasionally forget to brush my teeth at night, but he almost never does.
A few months ago, I saw his electric toothbrush charging and then I saw it again the following weekend in the EXACT SAME POSITION a whole week later. I asked him why it hadn't moved and he said that he just used his other toothbrush but I'm calling BS. Even in the mornings, I'm not entirely sure that he brushes them, rather just swills a bit of mouthwash around and calls it a day and it is starting to make me feel repulsed. He's WFH most of the time, but sometimes I'll meet him in our city for lunch and it is just so clear that he hasn't brushed...it embarrasses me to think that his coworkers and friends are 100% victim to smelling it, too. In the mornings, I'll ask him to brush his teeth before he kisses me and whilst it does smell mintier, the underlying smell of grossness is still very much there and I feel awful telling him he still smells. His typical excuse is usually that he's just had a coffee or he's hungry...neither of which account for the garbage truck smell emanating from his mouth. I should probably mention that he's a glutton for energy drinks, weed, smoking (socially), and vaping.
The cherry on the cake was riding next to him in the car...as he was speaking, I caught a glimpse into his mouth and I swear I saw the biggest build-up of this yellow shit on the back of his teeth. Calculus or tartar I guess? I only saw it for a couple of seconds but it looked like it was almost as far back as going under his tongue. I have not been able to stop thinking about it, both from an "oh my god, I kiss this man and that's what's in his mouth" perspective, and an "oh my god, this poor man's teeth are going to fall out of his head". He's also got a thing for spitting in my mouth during sex which I have just had to stop altogether because the thought of it makes me gag.
I know that his teeth are a point of insecurity for him. He's explained to me that he didn't take care of them as a child, his parents never enforced healthy hygiene habits in that way, and as a teen, he went through depression and stopped looking after them altogether. He also is deathly afraid of the dentist due to negative experiences as a child and nothing I say will convince him to go. I don't think he's seen a dentist since he was around 13. He says he brushes twice a day now and has done for many years, but I just don't think that amount of build-up (and smell) can happen if that's true! I know he's embarrassed about it, he gets pretty clammy when I say his breath smells and he NEVER smiles with his teeth.
I've tried to convince him to come to the dentist with me, that I'll be in the room with him if he's feeling anxious, and that we'll find a dentist who caters to nervous patients, but I'm no closer to getting him to book that appointment. I've explained that it's not only his teeth but his wider health that he's damaging but it falls on deaf ears. He has healthcare so some of the cost would be covered, but I dread to think how much work he'll need. I think he knows the severity of the situation and is afraid of what's going to happen so is burying his head in the sand.
Ultimately, I'm becoming less and less interested in being intimate with him. Even a quick peck requires me to hold my breath, and I'm tired of timing my breathing with his when we lay together just to avoid having to smell his nasty breath. I'm also seriously concerned for his oral health...even if he did go get his teeth cleaned I'm not entirely sure he'd have any left after they scrape all the crap away since it's probably the only thing holding them in his mouth.
He is PERFECT otherwise, the sweetest, funniest, most thoughtful guy ever and he is a fantastic partner. My friends, my mom, strangers, everyone loves him. He's also extremely clean and takes his personal hygiene seriously in every other aspect so I do not know what the disconnect is here with his oral health. I don't want to break up with him over this, but I am beyond grossed out by him for this. How can I get him to take his health seriously and understand that it is going to damage our relationship long term?
TLDR: My boyfriend's teeth are covered in calculus and his breath stinks; it's making me worried for his health and our relationship is starting to really suffer because I'm disgusted. How can I get him to go to the dentist and take care of this problem?
submitted by ThrowRAtoothache to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
I've been with my boyfriend for coming on two years now, and he has always been EXTREMELY cagey about his teeth from the beginning. Initially, I thought it was because they were a little bugs bunny-esque, but as I spent more time with him I realised that they were pretty yellow and I could see some tartar deposits on the front of his bottom teeth. Kinda gross, but I could just about overlook it as I never really noticed his breath being that smelly since he chewed gum and didn't open his mouth that wide when he spoke.
Cut to now...oh my god. His breath is genuinely unbearable. Like, there is morning breath and then there is whatever this is. I don't even have to be particularly close to him or facing him to smell his breath if he is just talking. I've started to pay more attention to his brushing habits, and I'll admit that when I stay over at his place I'll occasionally forget to brush my teeth at night, but he almost never does.
A few months ago, I saw his electric toothbrush charging and then I saw it again the following weekend in the EXACT SAME POSITION a whole week later. I asked him why it hadn't moved and he said that he just used his other toothbrush but I'm calling BS. Even in the mornings, I'm not entirely sure that he brushes them, rather just swills a bit of mouthwash around and calls it a day and it is starting to make me feel repulsed. He's WFH most of the time, but sometimes I'll meet him in our city for lunch and it is just so clear that he hasn't brushed...it embarrasses me to think that his coworkers and friends are 100% victim to smelling it, too. In the mornings, I'll ask him to brush his teeth before he kisses me and whilst it does smell mintier, the underlying smell of grossness is still very much there and I feel awful telling him he still smells. His typical excuse is usually that he's just had a coffee or he's hungry...neither of which account for the garbage truck smell emanating from his mouth. I should probably mention that he's a glutton for energy drinks, weed, smoking (socially), and vaping.
The cherry on the cake was riding next to him in the car...as he was speaking, I caught a glimpse into his mouth and I swear I saw the biggest build-up of this yellow shit on the back of his teeth. Calculus or tartar I guess? I only saw it for a couple of seconds but it looked like it was almost as far back as going under his tongue. I have not been able to stop thinking about it, both from an "oh my god, I kiss this man and that's what's in his mouth" perspective, and an "oh my god, this poor man's teeth are going to fall out of his head". He's also got a thing for spitting in my mouth during sex which I have just had to stop altogether because the thought of it makes me gag.
I know that his teeth are a point of insecurity for him. He's explained to me that he didn't take care of them as a child, his parents never enforced healthy hygiene habits in that way, and as a teen, he went through depression and stopped looking after them altogether. He also is deathly afraid of the dentist due to negative experiences as a child and nothing I say will convince him to go. I don't think he's seen a dentist since he was around 13. He says he brushes twice a day now and has done for many years, but I just don't think that amount of build-up (and smell) can happen if that's true! I know he's embarrassed about it, he gets pretty clammy when I say his breath smells and he NEVER smiles with his teeth.
I've tried to convince him to come to the dentist with me, that I'll be in the room with him if he's feeling anxious, and that we'll find a dentist who caters to nervous patients, but I'm no closer to getting him to book that appointment. I've explained that it's not only his teeth but his wider health that he's damaging but it falls on deaf ears. He has healthcare so some of the cost would be covered, but I dread to think how much work he'll need. I think he knows the severity of the situation and is afraid of what's going to happen so is burying his head in the sand.
Ultimately, I'm becoming less and less interested in being intimate with him. Even a quick peck requires me to hold my breath, and I'm tired of timing my breathing with his when we lay together just to avoid having to smell his nasty breath. I'm also seriously concerned for his oral health...even if he did go get his teeth cleaned I'm not entirely sure he'd have any left after they scrape all the crap away since it's probably the only thing holding them in his mouth.
He is PERFECT otherwise, the sweetest, funniest, most thoughtful guy ever and he is a fantastic partner. My friends, my mom, strangers, everyone loves him. He's also extremely clean and takes his personal hygiene seriously in every other aspect so I do not know what the disconnect is here with his oral health. I don't want to break up with him over this, but I am beyond grossed out by him for this. How can I get him to take his health seriously and understand that it is going to damage our relationship long term?
TLDR: My boyfriend's teeth are covered in calculus and his breath stinks; it's making me worried for his health and our relationship is starting to really suffer because I'm disgusted. How can I get him to go to the dentist and take care of this problem?
2024.05.19 00:10 TheIndulgery Using ChatGPT as a novel writing aid
 | I'm currently writing a fantasy / litPRG novel and have been using ChatGPT in creative ways to help with it. I had some requests on how so instead of replying to everyone individually I figured I'd make a post! I will include screenshots so expect this post to be long! Also, it's from my actual book so please don't steal my shit. lol submitted by TheIndulgery to ChatGPT [link] [comments] I'll break it up into 5 sections:
Editing and grammar: This is pretty straightforward. I'll copy and paste sections and ask it to fix the grammar, bolding any changes it makes and striking out any words it removes so I can review the changes. The only issue I've had with this is that if I try to post an entire chapter it'll sometimes pause in its review and ask if I want to continue. Sometimes when it does that it loses sentences or even a paragraph where it broke. Now I just do smaller chunks. It'll explain why it made the changes too, so it's improving my grammar as I go. Character and creature help: This is also pretty straightforward. I already have my main characters written up and I know which ones are coming later, but sometimes I want mooks or neighbors, and other times I need creatures. I'll ask it for more than I need and pick the best ones. Some of the prompts: "Create 5 creatures that you'd find in Wisconsin. There should be a day version and a night version, the night version being tougher and having more attacks. For each come up with 3 offensive and 3 defensive powers. Also describe them in the format of a character description in a D&D style monster manual." https://preview.redd.it/n2e5pfx9691d1.png?width=825&format=png&auto=webp&s=41abb9ae9a8c984ea1837b0a3b292885822b1e5e "Based off the fight scene I just described and the attached screenshot of the person's character sheet, come up with 5 attacks, skills, or magical abilities that person could develop. They should reflect that person's personality, character sheet, and fighting style." https://preview.redd.it/05t0977p691d1.png?width=572&format=png&auto=webp&s=35a55418b0ce7230225ac79e632632f4aac43f6a https://preview.redd.it/kio2yals691d1.png?width=592&format=png&auto=webp&s=443d537f20d4c8956441214ea38ecd1e2af651bb Mooks: https://preview.redd.it/9dxzjn85791d1.png?width=606&format=png&auto=webp&s=11ca003c702f77d5ea27e55abbb6a20f7573d409 https://preview.redd.it/kvudyz97791d1.png?width=603&format=png&auto=webp&s=7fd6ee23d5719a0f73abf6b65b694c5523f6223f The cool stuff: This is where it really shines and has helped me avoid a lot of pitfalls that I notice when I'm reading other authors' books: "Review the story and look for any words that I reuse a lot. Ignore standard ones like 'and, they, him, etc'" All authors have their favorite words that get repeated way too often. I'll find them and suggest alternate descriptions. It goes beyond just providing new words. "I want to avoid repetitive descriptions. Please review the story and identify any times I've repeated descriptions, turns of phrase, etc. Categorize them into "fight scenes", "Emotional scenes", and "area/scene descriptions" This has been a power prompt for me. We tend to describe things a certain way and it identifies areas where changes can be made to make it more dynamic and varied. https://preview.redd.it/n0s3w4l2891d1.png?width=787&format=png&auto=webp&s=6f8bbb75a01216bbef6b4792740154a1ea4f40ef https://preview.redd.it/zy9jj32a891d1.png?width=755&format=png&auto=webp&s=b6a3ee793ee610a96416268ae407aab70c6d3785 "Please review the story for any inconsistencies. I'm specifically looking for ways I've described the system or world as working that I later contradict." I've had mixed results with this one but overall it works really well. It's also useful for all those items that you forget, especially if they enhance someone and they're supposed to be using a skill or ability from it: https://preview.redd.it/wz4gn43v891d1.png?width=662&format=png&auto=webp&s=b278e32bd76464dfa09395115d8bb401a759d789 I also use it to bounce ideas off of. Sometimes the ideas are generic but often it comes up with ideas that I hadn't thought of. I don't like it decide the plot or directions, but it's like chatting with an editor or reviewer and the two of you bouncing ideas off each other. I'll reply to its posts with things like "I like number 3 but it's coming too early. What if we had them go to place X instead of that, saving that for later?" Character [xx] is going to have these skills and plot points in the future. Knowing that, please tailor all skill and plot suggestions with the idea of driving towards that narrative in a balanced, natural manner. None of the ideas should feel forced and they should all happen naturally as the story progresses. As I paste new chapters please incorporate the changes into that long term progression and adapt as required. "I think I want character B to starting feeling like they're not contributing but I'm having trouble thinking of ways to express that naturally. I don't want it to feel forced. What are some situations they could end up in that'd highlight that? Who could they fight with?" "I feel like character A is getting too complacent and it outpacing the other people, but they've become the lynchpin of the fights. I plan on introducing XX situation and it'll make them weak in XX area. I'm going to post a few paragraphs with that, tell me if it rings true with the character growth I've been using for the rest of the story." "I'm going to paste the first half of a fight that the characters are in but I'm realizing I don't have any ideas for how they'll win. What are some ideas based off the creature's character sheet you posted earlier?" And I asked ChatGPT to make a summarized list of the types of requests I've asked of it. Here's what it came up with: Sure! Here's a summary list of the different types of requests you've made for help with plot, development, and ideas:Plot Development Story Arcs: "Review this key story arc that introduces a major conflict between Tess and Zavier. Suggest any improvements or additional elements to make the conflict more engaging."Scene and Setting Descriptions Sensory Details: "Enhance this description of a forest setting by incorporating more sensory details. Suggest specific sounds, smells, and tactile elements that could be added."Dialogue and Internal Monologue Character Dialogues: "Review this conversation between Zavier and Tess where they discuss their fears and hopes. Suggest ways to make the dialogue more natural and emotionally resonant."Item and Skill Creation Loot Items: "Review these unique items dropped by the Ironhide Boar. Suggest any changes to their descriptions, stats, and effects to make them more interesting and balanced."Theme and Tone Maintaining Tone: "Ensure that the tone of this new scene remains consistent with the rest of the story. Provide feedback on balancing dark moments with hopeful ones."Feedback and Revisions Improving Flow: "Review this written scene and suggest improvements for better flow and engagement. Identify any areas where the narrative could be more fluid."And finally, I asked ChatGPT what kinds of prompts to use to make the most of its ability to help writers: To make the most of my abilities as an AI assistant, authors should use prompts that focus on detailed feedback, specific suggestions for improvements, and brainstorming new ideas. Here are some examples of effective prompts that can help authors maximize the benefits of using my assistance:Plot Development Story Arcs: "Review this key story arc and suggest any improvements or additional elements to make the conflict more engaging and impactful."Scene and Setting Descriptions Sensory Details: "Enhance this description of a [setting] by incorporating more sensory details. Suggest specific sounds, smells, and tactile elements that could be added."Dialogue and Internal Monologue Character Dialogues: "Review this conversation between [Character A] and [Character B] and suggest ways to make the dialogue more natural and emotionally resonant."Item and Skill Creation Loot Items: "Review these unique items dropped by [creature] and suggest any changes to their descriptions, stats, and effects to make them more interesting and balanced."Theme and Tone Maintaining Tone: "Ensure that the tone of this new scene remains consistent with the rest of the story. Provide feedback on balancing dark moments with hopeful ones."Feedback and Revisions Improving Flow: "Review this written scene and suggest improvements for better flow and engagement. Identify any areas where the narrative could be more fluid."Hope this helps! |
2024.05.19 00:09 unitedfan1246 Coming out sucks gang
Ok uh here I go. This is both a story and an ask for help😂
Sooooo I’m 16, I’m a guy, I grew up playing sports, stopped at 13, now a guitarist and pianist, I discovered I was bisexual when I was 13 back when my friends used to make jokes about gay ppl and the idea of finding men attractive but I’d find myself feeling the things that which they joked about.
For about a year after knowing for sure I simply kept saying I was straight cos I was like look, it’ll be fine even if I’m bi I can fake being straight for my very homophobic family and just date girls forever.
Fast forward to today, and I don’t feel comfortable in my own household, all my friends know about this, and there is a guy who I’m talking to who I really like, and I so badly wanna try something but if I can’t even say it to my parents I don’t feel like I’m worthy of that relationship.
My family really just want me to fit a masculine ideal role, that’s why I was put into sports young and why I had to find my own ways to things I’m actually passionate about like music and style, I would love nothing more than to tell my mother but then there’s all the silly gay jokes that are made every day in my house and it’s just really putting me down,
Any answers or DMs from anyone who may have had the a similar experience or any thoughts or words that might help me out with this would be so so very appreciated😅 thank you if you made it this far.
submitted by unitedfan1246 to lgbt [link] [comments]
Sooooo I’m 16, I’m a guy, I grew up playing sports, stopped at 13, now a guitarist and pianist, I discovered I was bisexual when I was 13 back when my friends used to make jokes about gay ppl and the idea of finding men attractive but I’d find myself feeling the things that which they joked about.
For about a year after knowing for sure I simply kept saying I was straight cos I was like look, it’ll be fine even if I’m bi I can fake being straight for my very homophobic family and just date girls forever.
Fast forward to today, and I don’t feel comfortable in my own household, all my friends know about this, and there is a guy who I’m talking to who I really like, and I so badly wanna try something but if I can’t even say it to my parents I don’t feel like I’m worthy of that relationship.
My family really just want me to fit a masculine ideal role, that’s why I was put into sports young and why I had to find my own ways to things I’m actually passionate about like music and style, I would love nothing more than to tell my mother but then there’s all the silly gay jokes that are made every day in my house and it’s just really putting me down,
Any answers or DMs from anyone who may have had the a similar experience or any thoughts or words that might help me out with this would be so so very appreciated😅 thank you if you made it this far.
2024.05.19 00:02 No-Abalone-6205 AITA For telling my mother off?
Hi first time posting here and sorry for my grammar, English is not my first language. I just need some perspective on this matter. So I (22M) live alone with my brother (14M). Our mother(42F) is working abroad with her boyfriend what means she is not at home with us. For some background. My Mother divorsed my father two years ago. He was an alcoholic who neglected me and my brother and thought that if he brings money home then he is releved from any parental responsibility. They lived separately for over 10 years and HATED EACH OTHER with passion, before they divorsed. My mom is no saint either. She loses her temper very fast what makes her say very cruel things. I was the scapegoat in the family because my i can't back off a fight eather, so when my mother attacked me verbaly i always clap back and that's what she wanted to have someone to screem at and blame for everything. My brother is very timid and the complete opposite of me. Oh and what i forgot to mention my mother is a compleat controll freak. There are many things she did (like hitting us when we were little because we did something wrong) but then she would be sweet as honey tu us for the next two weeks and then the cycle repeats. I know that some of you will tell that she is a bad mom but that's how she was raised and she doesn't know better. but in the last 6 or 7 years she tried to be better and it shows, So to the topic. When my mother divorsed my father and getting alimony for my brother (he fought for the lowes he could get) money was tight. My mother worked as a menager and I as a student couldn't get a full time job so i worked in some firms part time and did tutoring whenever I could. We had money to pay the bills and everything but when the month was over we had little savings (we live in a home in a village so there is always something to repair and sometimes it is tough). I wanted to pause my studies and go working but my mother was oposed of that. We fought about it too. So we came to a agreement that I will be living with my brother in our country and my mother will go work abroad. The first couple of weeks were fine but then the controll mode in my mother swithed on. She wanted to know when we get up, when we go to sleep, what we eat, what we are doing etc. And i don't mean like one or two times a day. She wanted to start a call with her on camera and the her everywhere. She was mad because we didn't replay to her messages because we were both in school. And it started to be very pushy, So the accident was yesterday when my brother, me and two of my fiends went out to eat in a restaurant (i didn't want to leave my brother behind and my friends like my brother so there was no problem). So we went out and when my mother found out she started to bombard us with questions like where, with who and other. That was perfectly fine. We answered everything and wanted to enjoy our night. But then She wanted to have pictures of the restaurant, the food - everything. I called her out on the group chat with me, her and my brother that we want to enjoy the food and we will talk to her when we get home. And i thought thats tsht. But then she started to write messages to my brother privetly, with the same questions over and over again. And my brother as a timid person answered. But then we went on a glowing fountain show and i to my brother that he should put his phone in my backpack when we go near water just to be save. The show was over we went bac to my car. Driving back home my brother takes his phone from my backpack and there is like 8 missed calls from our mother. (Quick note I have mostly my phone on silent and everyone who knows me knows that). He picks up the next call from her and then it starts. The screaming "WHERE ARE YOU? DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS? WHY ARE YOU NOT PICKING UP YOUR PHONE? WHY ARE YOU STILL UP? WHERE IS YOUR BROTHER (me)? WHY ISN'T HE PICKING UP HIS PHONE" threats and other things like that. My brother tried to say something but she was cutting him off every time. He was about to cry so I said that he shoul give me on speaker (I was driving). When he did that i said that we will contact her when we will be back and we are on the way home so clearly we ar still not back home. She started to screm something about dangers with driving at night but i screamed back that the only thing distracting me from the road is she right now and she should hang up right now. After that she did hang up. And the next day she was like nothing ever happened. Or so i thought because when we came back from some garden work we get a message that She won't bother us because apparently she's bothering us because she's worried and we don't give a damn about it. And other crap like that. My brother starts crying and tries to phone her and she rejects his call, so he starts to apologise to her via text. I on the other hand locked my self in another room so my brother wouldn't hear me and tear my mother a new one via a voice message that if she wants to be angry at someone that better be angry at me because now brother is crying now because her, he is in distress because of that (She loves to use that kind of manipulation). That if she thougt I'm so irresponsible that i took my brother for a nice trip on a WEEKEND and we came back home at 23:30 again on a WEEKEND where he could sleep how much he wants then thats her problem. She answered that she wants just to make shure he and i are save. And thats what was when i lost it because a month prior she didn't had a problem to arrange for him a bus among strangers and for him to travel 15 hours through 3 countries to her place and leaving him alone in a apartment in a forign country for 9 hours and if she really thinks that guilttripping my brother is a good idea then there is something wrong with her. There were many other things said in that text. She didn't replay to it but wrote to my brother like nothing happens. So Am I wrong to tell my mother off?
submitted by No-Abalone-6205 to AITAH [link] [comments]
2024.05.18 23:57 EarlyTradition8111 Why are customers in the food industry so incompetent?
The customers I interact with at my food hall job are by far the most incompetent human beings I've ever had to deal with, the amount of times that they are oblivious to the most obvious and available information and processes at the shopfront are actually mind boggling. These things include; not seeing the square card reader on the register right in front of them and when they do see it they actually insert the card under the reader instead of in the actual slot, not seeing the separate drink menu right next to the tv menu, asking non stop questions about items on the menu when the answer is literally listed in the contents of the item in question on the menu, asking for X item but saying the general type of food it is (let me get the soup) like we have 10 different types of soups are you slow? Trying to pay with cash when we have a literal sign saying "No Cash!"
These are just some of the things the front has to deal with on a day to day basis and it's guaranteed to get most if not all of these acts of complete unawareness. It makes what already is a unmotivating job unbearable and actually fatigues you because it's mentally/physically draining as you're not even just doing the standard job but assisting intellectually inept people to do the most basic tasks. It's almost as if most customers don't even try to be competent and instead do the bare minimum and expect us to hold their hand the entire way.
All of these things have made every employee at our business completely unmotivated and made us struggle to provide good customer service, no one smiles or is really able to even pretend to put on a customer service face because it's past the point of being reasonable. This has caused certain of my coworkers, to get numerous bad reviews on sites like yelp where customers will describe the employee and say "This person was soo unenthusiastic!" Sorry but if you see a unhappy worker there's many underlying issues and your dissatisfaction isn't changing that.
Everyone at our place never gets paid on time, gets micro managed by a remote boss, has to deal with some of the most toxic eldery non english speaking kitchen workers that think they manage the place despite just being cooks. All this and our boss doesn't even care about the bad reviews which I'm not surprised as he's just worried about getting that fat check at all costs. Do anything that affects the cash flow in even the most minute way and they're sending you a five paragraph text on what you did wrong which could have been said in one complete sentence.
In conclusion the incompetency of customers is easily the most frustrating and difficult part of food service in my opinion and is the main reason why employees interact with less than optimal customer service. Not sure why your average human being seems to be incapable of doing the most basic tasks to make food service workers lives easier but without fail it happens everyday. Sadly everyone in the front is looking to leave asap and some have already acquired other employment, really sucks to see so many shitty factors make good people lose faith in a job so much.
submitted by EarlyTradition8111 to TalesFromYourServer [link] [comments]
These are just some of the things the front has to deal with on a day to day basis and it's guaranteed to get most if not all of these acts of complete unawareness. It makes what already is a unmotivating job unbearable and actually fatigues you because it's mentally/physically draining as you're not even just doing the standard job but assisting intellectually inept people to do the most basic tasks. It's almost as if most customers don't even try to be competent and instead do the bare minimum and expect us to hold their hand the entire way.
All of these things have made every employee at our business completely unmotivated and made us struggle to provide good customer service, no one smiles or is really able to even pretend to put on a customer service face because it's past the point of being reasonable. This has caused certain of my coworkers, to get numerous bad reviews on sites like yelp where customers will describe the employee and say "This person was soo unenthusiastic!" Sorry but if you see a unhappy worker there's many underlying issues and your dissatisfaction isn't changing that.
Everyone at our place never gets paid on time, gets micro managed by a remote boss, has to deal with some of the most toxic eldery non english speaking kitchen workers that think they manage the place despite just being cooks. All this and our boss doesn't even care about the bad reviews which I'm not surprised as he's just worried about getting that fat check at all costs. Do anything that affects the cash flow in even the most minute way and they're sending you a five paragraph text on what you did wrong which could have been said in one complete sentence.
In conclusion the incompetency of customers is easily the most frustrating and difficult part of food service in my opinion and is the main reason why employees interact with less than optimal customer service. Not sure why your average human being seems to be incapable of doing the most basic tasks to make food service workers lives easier but without fail it happens everyday. Sadly everyone in the front is looking to leave asap and some have already acquired other employment, really sucks to see so many shitty factors make good people lose faith in a job so much.
2024.05.18 23:56 Neyverde theory about the true names
i'd like to propose what the true names really are, they purpose, and why they're even exists.
first of all, the true names DON'T COME from the spell. when i was reading the 3rd nighmare i started to imagine the true names like a rope, one side is tied with the being, while the other is tied with the own destiny.
so what, what this means? how more strong is the rope, more tied you are with your destiny. sunny used his true name to dont lose himself or to kept is own sanity while shadow dancing, he was actually holding the rope.
following this line, the true name are yourself from the past, present, and future. and how more strong is, more "fated" ou are. let's see cassie for example, she's true name means that she will carry the song of the fallen, and she know how she will die and even her parents.
sunny realise that he would follow neph, and how they cant stay together because of shadow bond (one of the reasons for he choose be free), while neph would probably kill the sovereigns and end the chances of survival of the human, star of changing and so, star of ruin.
and with that, what comes?
now we have the ultimate variable that is an unkillable cockroach that is disconnected with fate. how more variables he creates, more improbable the fate will be, and with that, the names will change.
like, in the other hand, star of change and song of the fallen are cool names. perhaps G3 just keep them and say, "oh, the runes of their names changed a bit" and star of change meaning could change to be "star of hope" or something else.
important to remember, sunny already changed his aspect before, so change a true name isn't something really impossible to do.
i'd like to read other's opinions, feel free to disagree or give your theories too!
submitted by Neyverde to ShadowSlave [link] [comments]
first of all, the true names DON'T COME from the spell. when i was reading the 3rd nighmare i started to imagine the true names like a rope, one side is tied with the being, while the other is tied with the own destiny.
so what, what this means? how more strong is the rope, more tied you are with your destiny. sunny used his true name to dont lose himself or to kept is own sanity while shadow dancing, he was actually holding the rope.
following this line, the true name are yourself from the past, present, and future. and how more strong is, more "fated" ou are. let's see cassie for example, she's true name means that she will carry the song of the fallen, and she know how she will die and even her parents.
sunny realise that he would follow neph, and how they cant stay together because of shadow bond (one of the reasons for he choose be free), while neph would probably kill the sovereigns and end the chances of survival of the human, star of changing and so, star of ruin.
and with that, what comes?
now we have the ultimate variable that is an unkillable cockroach that is disconnected with fate. how more variables he creates, more improbable the fate will be, and with that, the names will change.
like, in the other hand, star of change and song of the fallen are cool names. perhaps G3 just keep them and say, "oh, the runes of their names changed a bit" and star of change meaning could change to be "star of hope" or something else.
important to remember, sunny already changed his aspect before, so change a true name isn't something really impossible to do.
i'd like to read other's opinions, feel free to disagree or give your theories too!
2024.05.18 23:52 Total-Flounder-8258 Best FurryTail Products
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2024.05.18 23:49 Ok-Food1301 I ended a 19 year long friendship because of my wedding! AITA
Me and my husband recently got married (Both 30) During the planning process we decided that we wanted to do our wedding on a budget and keep it personal to us. We chose a local venue, made our own decor and planned the whole day ourselves with the help of our amazing MOH. For the wedding breakfast, only 90 seats were available so had to choose our guests carefully, and in the evening we could increase our guest numbers. After so much back and forth, we decided it would not be possible to have everyone's children at the wedding except from those that are related to us, especially since between our guests there would have been over 20 children, most under 10 years old. In addition, while we love all of our friends kids, they would not have appreciated the day as much as the adult would have. We let our friends know and they were very understanding, some also admitted that they would have preferred a child free night with their SO to relax.
My friend (Let's call her Stacey) had met when we were 10, but hadn't talked as much prior to wedding planning, so I had decided to invite her to the evening of the wedding. Stacey was a single mum to a six year old who had been in a relationship that had ended badly, which had led to a toxic custody battle on her side. She would often rant in front of her kid and stretch the truth, to which I would try to talk her down and support her in any way I could. My husband wasn't a fan of her since whenever we did meet up with her, she would only talk about herself and the latest dramas in her life, especially more people she had fallen out with, this seemed to be quite constant for Stacey, regardless, he accepted my wishes.
Fast forward to my hen do. The girls and my mum had planned a surprise hen do for me and it was a lot of fun. During the night (and after a few drink) I became curious as to who was not able to make it. My MOH mentioned a few people and their reasons (Not as if it mattered) and said "Unfortunately, we haven't heard anything from Stacey". I let it go and didn't think much more of it after that. After the hen do, of course we shared some photos of the hen do to socials. After a week I got a message from Stacey basically saying sorry that she could not attend, she didn't have child care, which is fully understandable.
A few weeks pass and she messages me again saying "I'm not sure if I can come yet, but if I do can I bring my new man?" My response was that I didn't know she had a new man but I would check the numbers and see what we could do. Her response was "Oh we're not together, we're just talking for now" I was in two minds since I didn't really want a complete stranger to be at my wedding day. I ended the conversation with, "I wasn't sure I was comfortable with that and for her to please let me know when she knew".
It is now nine days before the wedding, I am cooking dinner and doing the very final counts and remember that Stacey hasn't let me know if she could attend the wedding reception, so I reached out to her.
In short the conversation started with me asking if she would be there next week. She told me she could because of court cases along with other stuff and that she couldn't find child care and that she would come if her kid could come along too. Now this is understandable, except she lived with her mum who I know is more than happy to look after her granddaughter, in addition, this day had been planned so far in advance. I replied, I fully understand however so many other people have had to fork out for childcare and it would be unfair to those if I allowed her child, I added that I love everyone's kids but I could not afford them. She then proceeded to state that she no longer gets on with my friends, and that no one would find it unfair if her child attends and that it's "Only a buffet rights?" then proceeded to try and call me.
I put my foot down however said that I didn't want to lose her as a friend. She replied saying she "respects my choices and that her mum could have her child but then she would be sacrificing her time with her child since baby daddy now has every other weekend with their child". I thanked her for her understanding to which she said "Yeah it's just part of being a parent, and you haven't lost me as a friend. I'm not that petty lol. Me and child are a team so we will always do stuff together otherwise I just accept that I can't do anything, it is what it is. I don't think it would make you and husband hypocrites. Weddings are much better with children anyway. I responded with "Again, that being said, if everyone's kids were there, that would be over 20 kids, which could be chaos also" and she finished it with "You’ll understand one day when you have children yourself that children will always come first"
The wedding was great and after we heard nothing from her despite her being present on social media. No congrats, no comments about the dress or the photos when they came back. She just shared shady memes about friendship. 7 months later she messages me out of the blue saying "Hey babe, you okay?" I didn't really know what to say back and eventually, she cornered me at work in which was really awkward and she has since blocked me on social media.
I don't know if I should feel bad or if I should have tried harder. I was very present in her kids life before and she used to call me auntie like all of my friends kids. AITA
submitted by Ok-Food1301 to CharlotteDobreYouTube [link] [comments]
My friend (Let's call her Stacey) had met when we were 10, but hadn't talked as much prior to wedding planning, so I had decided to invite her to the evening of the wedding. Stacey was a single mum to a six year old who had been in a relationship that had ended badly, which had led to a toxic custody battle on her side. She would often rant in front of her kid and stretch the truth, to which I would try to talk her down and support her in any way I could. My husband wasn't a fan of her since whenever we did meet up with her, she would only talk about herself and the latest dramas in her life, especially more people she had fallen out with, this seemed to be quite constant for Stacey, regardless, he accepted my wishes.
Fast forward to my hen do. The girls and my mum had planned a surprise hen do for me and it was a lot of fun. During the night (and after a few drink) I became curious as to who was not able to make it. My MOH mentioned a few people and their reasons (Not as if it mattered) and said "Unfortunately, we haven't heard anything from Stacey". I let it go and didn't think much more of it after that. After the hen do, of course we shared some photos of the hen do to socials. After a week I got a message from Stacey basically saying sorry that she could not attend, she didn't have child care, which is fully understandable.
A few weeks pass and she messages me again saying "I'm not sure if I can come yet, but if I do can I bring my new man?" My response was that I didn't know she had a new man but I would check the numbers and see what we could do. Her response was "Oh we're not together, we're just talking for now" I was in two minds since I didn't really want a complete stranger to be at my wedding day. I ended the conversation with, "I wasn't sure I was comfortable with that and for her to please let me know when she knew".
It is now nine days before the wedding, I am cooking dinner and doing the very final counts and remember that Stacey hasn't let me know if she could attend the wedding reception, so I reached out to her.
In short the conversation started with me asking if she would be there next week. She told me she could because of court cases along with other stuff and that she couldn't find child care and that she would come if her kid could come along too. Now this is understandable, except she lived with her mum who I know is more than happy to look after her granddaughter, in addition, this day had been planned so far in advance. I replied, I fully understand however so many other people have had to fork out for childcare and it would be unfair to those if I allowed her child, I added that I love everyone's kids but I could not afford them. She then proceeded to state that she no longer gets on with my friends, and that no one would find it unfair if her child attends and that it's "Only a buffet rights?" then proceeded to try and call me.
I put my foot down however said that I didn't want to lose her as a friend. She replied saying she "respects my choices and that her mum could have her child but then she would be sacrificing her time with her child since baby daddy now has every other weekend with their child". I thanked her for her understanding to which she said "Yeah it's just part of being a parent, and you haven't lost me as a friend. I'm not that petty lol. Me and child are a team so we will always do stuff together otherwise I just accept that I can't do anything, it is what it is. I don't think it would make you and husband hypocrites. Weddings are much better with children anyway. I responded with "Again, that being said, if everyone's kids were there, that would be over 20 kids, which could be chaos also" and she finished it with "You’ll understand one day when you have children yourself that children will always come first"
The wedding was great and after we heard nothing from her despite her being present on social media. No congrats, no comments about the dress or the photos when they came back. She just shared shady memes about friendship. 7 months later she messages me out of the blue saying "Hey babe, you okay?" I didn't really know what to say back and eventually, she cornered me at work in which was really awkward and she has since blocked me on social media.
I don't know if I should feel bad or if I should have tried harder. I was very present in her kids life before and she used to call me auntie like all of my friends kids. AITA
2024.05.18 23:48 AcceptableSet3916 "Jealous wedding guest ruins the money shot": An Essay About The Woman In The Photo
First of all, I would like to say THANK YOU to all of you that showed so much love to my first post ever in Reddit!
Since my girl Millie got too much hate for wearing white and ruining the best photo of the wedding, I decided to write her sad story and share it with all of you. It's a LONG tale, full of ups and mostly downs (TLDR at the end of the post). Sooo, grab some cookies and popcorn while I spill the tea ;)
******WARNING******** The story features what I believe to be unsettling content (pregnancy loss) for some. It's hidden as spoiler, so please don't click it if it's a sensitive issue for you. <3
Our story starts with poor young adult who shall not be named (because I don't remember her name). God (me) had big plans and challenges for her, as she started with 0 simoleons in an off the grid island, with hopes of her becoming a millionaire. She moved in the big island without money, a place to sleep, a toilet, nothing. The challenge goes like this: raise money from beachcombing, buy a towel to sleep on, buy a bush to pee in, snorkel, plant and build a life from zero. And, under no circumstances communicate with another sim.
This challenge was too difficult. The loneliness and hardships, the struggle to just survive and find food, led this young girl to her death by drowning in the middle of the ocean. It was too soon, so God decided to try this challenge again, giving the new sim a head start.
That leads us to the protagonist of the story, Millie Carson.
Millie Carson is a young adult who moved in the same island, like a castaway. All she found on that island was a towel, some planted trees, a toilet bush and a grave.
The ghost from the grave came often to haunt and tease her and finally became her enemy.
At first, young Millie tried to stay away from other sims but, since they kept coming and visiting, God decided that it was ok for her to have some friends.
Millie's neighbors were Miki and Ali, a happy couple with two babies. They kept visiting and bringing food to their poor young neighbor, since she was struggling so much. Millie grew close with Ali, who came swimming to her island sometimes.
Meanwhile, Millie learned some skills that earned her some money and food. She became really good at fitness, gardening and fishing. Little by little, she earned enough money to buy diving supplies and took up some diving photography and treasure hunting. All those helped her build a tiny wood home which finally had a toilet and a shower and even a fridge. Life was getting better for Millie, until she started having feelings for her married neighbor...
Millie was attracted to Ali: his long blond hair, his green eyes and dark skin. To her surprise, Ali was interested in her as well. She tried to fight it but it was over her own power to resist. They made sweet woohoo and became a couple, while he was still married with two kids.
Love makes you do stupid things and that's what happened to Millie. She fell in love with a married man and, surprise surprise, she got pregnant with his kid.
While on her 1st trimester, she visited her neighbolover's home to tell him the news. His wife, Miki, opened the door and the sight was unbelievable: She was pregnant as well, on her 3rd trimester. Millie chatted with Miki as nothing was wrong and even socialized with her kids for a bit. But it was now time for Ali to learn the truth. Millie pulled him aside and told him everything.
To her surprise, Ali was content with being a parent to their child. Millie felt his support and fell even harder for him, causing her to do the unthinkable: Woohoo with him all over his tiny house while his wife and two kids were inside! They woohood EVERYWHERE: The small single bed, the kitchen sink, the counters, standing... They almost got caught by Miki, but hopefully she was so pregnant that it took her an eternity to reach the woohoo spot.
Millie started thinking about their future. Tormented by her jealousy, she asked Ali about Miki. Miki's super pregnant belly was an indicator that Ali still loves and woohoos with his wife, two-timing both women. To her dismay, Ali confessed his love about Miki, but he was willing to keep his relationship with Millie. But that wasn't enough for Millie...
Without hesitation, Millie served Ali an ultimatum: It's her or Miki. No love triangles, no hiding. Her kid needed a father and she needed support as a poor young woman. All those pregnancy hormones made her unreasonable - she came between a happy couple and now she felt that her lover's wife stole him from her, even though they were already together! The irony!
Millie couldn't get over her feelings, so she invited Miki over and told her EVERYTHING. That she was pregnant. That the father was poor Miki's husband. Miki got even yelled at for sleeping with her own husband. Millie was out of control.
Like a tsunami, a force that couldn't be stopped, Millie called over Ali and told him to break it off with his wife. It was now or never. Ali did as told and suddenly Miki broke down crying, hating life and those two who ruined it.
Eventually, Miki left and the.. happy couple were finally alone. Millie asked Ali to move in and he gladly accepted. He even proposed and they stayed engaged until after their baby girl, Angelique, was born.
Meanwhile, even though Miki was hating them, she still came over with extra food like a good neighbor. But her relations with the couple never improved much.
The happy couple decided to get married. Millie wore a pretty but simple boho white dress, hair down and golden jewelry. But her joyful smile was the prettiest jewel she could wear. It was a lovely, quiet wedding on the seashore, during sunset.
Soon after, Millie got pregnant again but wasn't ready or happy for it. Unfortunately, there were some complications with the pregnancy and baby Donovan was born dead. They buried him under a lemon tree and cried for many seasons about him.
Ali started helping Millie with gardening, fishing and diving. But his dream was to finally earn his degree in Communications. He still had 3 classes to pass and then he could enter the PR world. He soon earned his degree with a low to medium score and was ready to start working. There was a huge problem, though...
The island was off the grid and he could not apply for the job, not use the very much needed internet. A decision had to be made: Should they live on this island forever, living off the land, or they should move somewhere else and follow Millie's dream to become millionaires?
The choice was easy. The couple moved to Finchwick, in a big cottage house with a big garden, front and back. They brought with them the plants they had gardened with so much love and also bought some chickens. Life was good for a while, baby Angelique was growing but woohoo life was... fine.
Ali found a job in PR and had to work all day, even from home. He had to polish his charisma and writing skills and meet new people. So, that made Millie a stay at home mom, a gardener, a housekeeper. But there was no time for her lifestyle needs: outdoor living and working out. She became frustrated and was always in a bad and uncomfortable mood. She had gained a lot of weight from her pregnancy, she hardly recognized herself in the mirror...All this bad mood made her cranky. Everytime Ali tried to woohoo with her, she had no drive. So, their love life went down the drain...
Meanwhile, Ali was doing great at work, earning at least 2000 simoleons per day. He had met many people, and one of them became a really good friend of his. His name was Gabriel and he was thin, with black short hair, dark skin and modern makeup.
Ali was tormented by his feelings when he hang out with Gabriel. He couldn't understand how a man can be attracted to another guy like that. He was open to the idea, but had never acted upon it. It wasn't the looks - Gabriel was pretty basic. But there was something about the both of them that made him feel... amazing. The attention he got from Gabriel, the friendship.. It was like they knew each other from another lifetime.
Every time Gabriel came over, Ali got excited. He was interested in his words and inner world, not only his appearance. One night, he couldn't take it anymore. While they were talking the backyard table, Ali started flirting with Gabriel. Things got heated fast and they shared the most beautiful first kiss. That was exactly what he always wanted to feel, but was missing from his other relationships. He proposed to have woohoo in the home office, while Millie and Angelique were sleeping unaware upstairs...
They woohood hard and many times. It was a total WoohooFest. Morning came and Ali, having not slept at all, got ready to go to work. He didn't forget to kiss his wife goodbye, but he spent the entire day thinking about Gabriel. By night, he had decided to ask Gabriel to become his boyfriend.
Millie on the other side, was getting better. She bought a walking machine and she often went swimming in the river. Her woohoo drive was coming back strong and that meant more time with her beloved husband. They started woohooing more often, but Ali was also missing Gabriel...
God suddenly had an idea! Ali should ask Millie to have expanded woohoo with someone else, and that someone else couldn't be other than (yes, you guessed it) Gabriel. Ali went on and asked his wife and God told her that yes, it would be fun! So, unaware of God and her husband's plans, she happily accepted to engage in multiple sim woohoo...
Ali was so excited! He couldn't believe his ears! He immediately called over Gabriel and explained the situation. Gabriel accepted as well and it was time for Gabriel to meet with Millie. Millie tried to get to know him but for some reason he was distant. She tried to flirt with him but he didn't reciprocate. Millie got embarrassed and locked herself in her room for some time, to recollect herself. It shouldn't be so hard, right?
At the same time, Ali made his move on Gabriel and they woohood. Gabriel was more than excited to get together with Ali. So, why not Millie?
After Millie got over her embarrassment, she came out the room. Ali proposed having multiple woohoo and they did it. Everyone had a pleasant time.
After that, they got together two more times. But, the last time, at Gabriel's house, was the final blow.
Millie kept trying to flirt alone with Gabriel, not getting the message but, DUDE. He was NOT into her. It was heartbreaking. She tried so hard for her husband, her self esteem and again, she was turned down. A second choice. She didn't deserve it. And then, she though about it. The flirt between Ali and Gabriel. How they would have woohoo, the three of them, but Gabriel was rejecting her. It was time for answers...
Millie first told Ali to end the expanded woohoo agreement. It was too much for her. He wasn't happy about it, but he agreed. And then, she asked the million dollar question: "What's going on between you two?". Ali tried to hide it, told her they were only friends. But God was starting to feel bad about poor Millie, so had her ask again: "WHAT'S GOING ON BETWEEN YOU TWO?"
The answer was like a knife, going through her heart. Ali loved Gabriel and that's all she needed to know. Their woohoo life was non existent before and now had found someone who made him feel better, more... alive! That's all Millie needed to know. She went over to Gabriel and try to make a last, desperate woohoo pass at him. Once more, he rejected her. It was all so clear. She was the third wheel.
Her ego and her heart were stomped on the ground, like a cockroach. A beautiful, kind, hard working sim shouldn't go through all that. She headed back home, to the privacy of her bedroom and cried her eyeballs out. Ali didn't come home that night and went straight to work.
The next day, Millie invited Gabriel over. Oooh no, she wouldn't let him have Ali so easily. She would humiliate him first. He came over and she started yelling at him. Her face was red and hot, she was fueled by rage. She ending up giving him the beating of his life. When Ali came home from work, both his lovers were black and blue from fighting.
Baby Angelique started crying. She had woken up. Millie rushed upstairs to help her toddler with her needs, but Ali and Gabriel stayed downstairs. Ali tried to comfort Gabriel, asking him to stay. He didn't care about his marriage anymore. God led them to the hall upstairs, outside the bedrooms. They started woohooing again, right there, like animals!
Poor Millie, as she opened her daughter's bedroom's door, she caught her cheater husband in the act! THE AUDACITY!!! And if it that wasn't enough, when she went over to slap him, he acted like she wasn't there and went to woohoo in the shower with his boyfriend - AGAIN! WTH!!!
At this point, Millie knew it was time to give Ali the boot and kick him the hell out of their home, and so she did. After Ali's lover left, the married couple had a long, heated conversation that only had one outcome - Ali had to move out immediately.
So, he left and rented a one-bedroom apartment in the city. He also decided to ask Gabriel to live with him, and Gabriel happily accepted. A new chapter started for Ali but unresolved things were left in the middle with his wife that needed to be dealt with.
While all these took place, Millie had gotten close with celebrity Rahul Chopra. They became good friends and she was invited to his wedding. It was a one of a kind event because Rahul had a shotgun wedding with his wife when they were teenagers due to unwanted pregnancy. After many kids later, Rahul's eldest daughter, with the villainous valentine aspiration (long story) decided to break her eternally faithful parents up for fun. So they did break up, but they were so made for each other, like puzzle pieces, that it was impossible to not end up together again.
Rahul fell back in love with his wife and they decided to do it right this time. They planned the perfect wedding event in San Myshuno's park, during sunset. The whole family was there and their 2nd child, Philip (YA) would take the professional pictures of the wedding.
The ceremony started, everyone (almost) was seated and the photographer (and me) were preoccupied with taking the happy couples pictures. As the ceremony ended, the couple was ready to share their first kiss as husband and wife. The air was filled with confetti that floated playfully around them, the fireworks were set off behing them and the sun was showering them with the warmest rays. It was a one time opportunity to get the perfect picture. Philip got ready to press click. And then, she appeared.
Millie, clearly bothered and heartbroken by other people's love, made a run for the exit and ruined Philip's perfect photograph. The angry look on her face would forever haunt Philip's mind. Why would that woman ruin this happy moment and why the hell would she wear white at someone's wedding? I mean, you wouldn't mistake her for the bride, who wore an expensive wedding gown, but still... Something was wrong with this girl and Philip had to find out...
After the wedding, Millie went back home. The days passed and the divorce was not finalized. She asked her kid who she wanted to stay with, but without reply. She called Ali over, but he texted back he didn't want to come over. Millie had her -now child- daughter call over her dad. This time, Ali responded positively and soon after he arrived. Millie took him straight to the lawyers to see who will get custody of Angelique.
This time, God had no plans, God left it all to luck. So, unfortunately, Ali won custody of Angelique, who immediately went to live with him. Now, Millie was alone. Only her and her money and her baby son's grave in the front yard. Now she was angry, NOW HE WOULD PAY.
Millie grabbed Ali and went once again to the lawyers. It was now time to split the estate. At least 100k simoleons in the bank, plus whatever the house is worth. Millie wants to get everything, but once again, God won't interfere. She comes back home, head down, beaten - she lost 80k.
She turns to her new friend, Philip. He is basic, but he's a good guy. He lives alone in an apartment in San Myshuno, studies Fine Arts in university, comes from a good family. He also has a girlfriend that lives across the hall from him, but Millie doesn't know. And God tells her to come onto him. Now Philip has two girlfriends and God must interfere.
God and luck are playing games with Millie's life.
As I'm writing her story, there's only one thing I feel: Sad.
This girl started out with hopes and dreams. So I think that we should forgive her for attending a friend's wedding wearing white. Some God forgot to change her formal outfit and it was all she had to wear. She's going through a lot!
Her story ends for now, but if you guys like it I might write more about her life's adventures.
Also, what should she do with Philip? Let me know in the comments!
If you read this whole essay / story , you are amazing! And thanks! Hope you liked it! :)
TLDR: YA woman starts with 0 money in off the grid island. Wants to earn a million. Gets pregnant by married neighbor with kids. Marries him and they buy new home. They get pregnant second time, lose the baby.He gets a good job, meets new people, gets new guy friend, has woohoo with that friend. The 3 of them have expanded woohoo. Woman breaks it off. Woman confronts husband about loving other man, he confesses he loves him. Woman kicks him out and he lives alone in flat. The other guy moves in with him. Woman heartbroken, goes to friends wedding wearing white, is angry at happy couple's love, ruins the married couple kiss photo. Photo becomes famous on Reddit. Woman loses custody of only child. Woman loses 80k simoleons after splitting estate. Woman becomes girlfriend of the photographer from the friend's wedding. Photographer already has another girlfriend.
*****EDIT*********** I can't believe I forgot to write this, but Millie also drowned in the ocean while being fatigued from diving for treasures. I decided to not save and give her a second chance. Her life is dramatic, UUUUUUGH!!!!
submitted by AcceptableSet3916 to thesims4 [link] [comments]
Since my girl Millie got too much hate for wearing white and ruining the best photo of the wedding, I decided to write her sad story and share it with all of you. It's a LONG tale, full of ups and mostly downs (TLDR at the end of the post). Sooo, grab some cookies and popcorn while I spill the tea ;)
******WARNING******** The story features what I believe to be unsettling content (pregnancy loss) for some. It's hidden as spoiler, so please don't click it if it's a sensitive issue for you. <3
Our story starts with poor young adult who shall not be named (because I don't remember her name). God (me) had big plans and challenges for her, as she started with 0 simoleons in an off the grid island, with hopes of her becoming a millionaire. She moved in the big island without money, a place to sleep, a toilet, nothing. The challenge goes like this: raise money from beachcombing, buy a towel to sleep on, buy a bush to pee in, snorkel, plant and build a life from zero. And, under no circumstances communicate with another sim.
This challenge was too difficult. The loneliness and hardships, the struggle to just survive and find food, led this young girl to her death by drowning in the middle of the ocean. It was too soon, so God decided to try this challenge again, giving the new sim a head start.
That leads us to the protagonist of the story, Millie Carson.
Millie Carson is a young adult who moved in the same island, like a castaway. All she found on that island was a towel, some planted trees, a toilet bush and a grave.
The ghost from the grave came often to haunt and tease her and finally became her enemy.
At first, young Millie tried to stay away from other sims but, since they kept coming and visiting, God decided that it was ok for her to have some friends.
Millie's neighbors were Miki and Ali, a happy couple with two babies. They kept visiting and bringing food to their poor young neighbor, since she was struggling so much. Millie grew close with Ali, who came swimming to her island sometimes.
Meanwhile, Millie learned some skills that earned her some money and food. She became really good at fitness, gardening and fishing. Little by little, she earned enough money to buy diving supplies and took up some diving photography and treasure hunting. All those helped her build a tiny wood home which finally had a toilet and a shower and even a fridge. Life was getting better for Millie, until she started having feelings for her married neighbor...
Millie was attracted to Ali: his long blond hair, his green eyes and dark skin. To her surprise, Ali was interested in her as well. She tried to fight it but it was over her own power to resist. They made sweet woohoo and became a couple, while he was still married with two kids.
Love makes you do stupid things and that's what happened to Millie. She fell in love with a married man and, surprise surprise, she got pregnant with his kid.
While on her 1st trimester, she visited her neighbolover's home to tell him the news. His wife, Miki, opened the door and the sight was unbelievable: She was pregnant as well, on her 3rd trimester. Millie chatted with Miki as nothing was wrong and even socialized with her kids for a bit. But it was now time for Ali to learn the truth. Millie pulled him aside and told him everything.
To her surprise, Ali was content with being a parent to their child. Millie felt his support and fell even harder for him, causing her to do the unthinkable: Woohoo with him all over his tiny house while his wife and two kids were inside! They woohood EVERYWHERE: The small single bed, the kitchen sink, the counters, standing... They almost got caught by Miki, but hopefully she was so pregnant that it took her an eternity to reach the woohoo spot.
Millie started thinking about their future. Tormented by her jealousy, she asked Ali about Miki. Miki's super pregnant belly was an indicator that Ali still loves and woohoos with his wife, two-timing both women. To her dismay, Ali confessed his love about Miki, but he was willing to keep his relationship with Millie. But that wasn't enough for Millie...
Without hesitation, Millie served Ali an ultimatum: It's her or Miki. No love triangles, no hiding. Her kid needed a father and she needed support as a poor young woman. All those pregnancy hormones made her unreasonable - she came between a happy couple and now she felt that her lover's wife stole him from her, even though they were already together! The irony!
Millie couldn't get over her feelings, so she invited Miki over and told her EVERYTHING. That she was pregnant. That the father was poor Miki's husband. Miki got even yelled at for sleeping with her own husband. Millie was out of control.
Like a tsunami, a force that couldn't be stopped, Millie called over Ali and told him to break it off with his wife. It was now or never. Ali did as told and suddenly Miki broke down crying, hating life and those two who ruined it.
Eventually, Miki left and the.. happy couple were finally alone. Millie asked Ali to move in and he gladly accepted. He even proposed and they stayed engaged until after their baby girl, Angelique, was born.
Meanwhile, even though Miki was hating them, she still came over with extra food like a good neighbor. But her relations with the couple never improved much.
The happy couple decided to get married. Millie wore a pretty but simple boho white dress, hair down and golden jewelry. But her joyful smile was the prettiest jewel she could wear. It was a lovely, quiet wedding on the seashore, during sunset.
Soon after, Millie got pregnant again but wasn't ready or happy for it. Unfortunately, there were some complications with the pregnancy and baby Donovan was born dead. They buried him under a lemon tree and cried for many seasons about him.
Ali started helping Millie with gardening, fishing and diving. But his dream was to finally earn his degree in Communications. He still had 3 classes to pass and then he could enter the PR world. He soon earned his degree with a low to medium score and was ready to start working. There was a huge problem, though...
The island was off the grid and he could not apply for the job, not use the very much needed internet. A decision had to be made: Should they live on this island forever, living off the land, or they should move somewhere else and follow Millie's dream to become millionaires?
The choice was easy. The couple moved to Finchwick, in a big cottage house with a big garden, front and back. They brought with them the plants they had gardened with so much love and also bought some chickens. Life was good for a while, baby Angelique was growing but woohoo life was... fine.
Ali found a job in PR and had to work all day, even from home. He had to polish his charisma and writing skills and meet new people. So, that made Millie a stay at home mom, a gardener, a housekeeper. But there was no time for her lifestyle needs: outdoor living and working out. She became frustrated and was always in a bad and uncomfortable mood. She had gained a lot of weight from her pregnancy, she hardly recognized herself in the mirror...All this bad mood made her cranky. Everytime Ali tried to woohoo with her, she had no drive. So, their love life went down the drain...
Meanwhile, Ali was doing great at work, earning at least 2000 simoleons per day. He had met many people, and one of them became a really good friend of his. His name was Gabriel and he was thin, with black short hair, dark skin and modern makeup.
Ali was tormented by his feelings when he hang out with Gabriel. He couldn't understand how a man can be attracted to another guy like that. He was open to the idea, but had never acted upon it. It wasn't the looks - Gabriel was pretty basic. But there was something about the both of them that made him feel... amazing. The attention he got from Gabriel, the friendship.. It was like they knew each other from another lifetime.
Every time Gabriel came over, Ali got excited. He was interested in his words and inner world, not only his appearance. One night, he couldn't take it anymore. While they were talking the backyard table, Ali started flirting with Gabriel. Things got heated fast and they shared the most beautiful first kiss. That was exactly what he always wanted to feel, but was missing from his other relationships. He proposed to have woohoo in the home office, while Millie and Angelique were sleeping unaware upstairs...
They woohood hard and many times. It was a total WoohooFest. Morning came and Ali, having not slept at all, got ready to go to work. He didn't forget to kiss his wife goodbye, but he spent the entire day thinking about Gabriel. By night, he had decided to ask Gabriel to become his boyfriend.
Millie on the other side, was getting better. She bought a walking machine and she often went swimming in the river. Her woohoo drive was coming back strong and that meant more time with her beloved husband. They started woohooing more often, but Ali was also missing Gabriel...
God suddenly had an idea! Ali should ask Millie to have expanded woohoo with someone else, and that someone else couldn't be other than (yes, you guessed it) Gabriel. Ali went on and asked his wife and God told her that yes, it would be fun! So, unaware of God and her husband's plans, she happily accepted to engage in multiple sim woohoo...
Ali was so excited! He couldn't believe his ears! He immediately called over Gabriel and explained the situation. Gabriel accepted as well and it was time for Gabriel to meet with Millie. Millie tried to get to know him but for some reason he was distant. She tried to flirt with him but he didn't reciprocate. Millie got embarrassed and locked herself in her room for some time, to recollect herself. It shouldn't be so hard, right?
At the same time, Ali made his move on Gabriel and they woohood. Gabriel was more than excited to get together with Ali. So, why not Millie?
After Millie got over her embarrassment, she came out the room. Ali proposed having multiple woohoo and they did it. Everyone had a pleasant time.
After that, they got together two more times. But, the last time, at Gabriel's house, was the final blow.
Millie kept trying to flirt alone with Gabriel, not getting the message but, DUDE. He was NOT into her. It was heartbreaking. She tried so hard for her husband, her self esteem and again, she was turned down. A second choice. She didn't deserve it. And then, she though about it. The flirt between Ali and Gabriel. How they would have woohoo, the three of them, but Gabriel was rejecting her. It was time for answers...
Millie first told Ali to end the expanded woohoo agreement. It was too much for her. He wasn't happy about it, but he agreed. And then, she asked the million dollar question: "What's going on between you two?". Ali tried to hide it, told her they were only friends. But God was starting to feel bad about poor Millie, so had her ask again: "WHAT'S GOING ON BETWEEN YOU TWO?"
The answer was like a knife, going through her heart. Ali loved Gabriel and that's all she needed to know. Their woohoo life was non existent before and now had found someone who made him feel better, more... alive! That's all Millie needed to know. She went over to Gabriel and try to make a last, desperate woohoo pass at him. Once more, he rejected her. It was all so clear. She was the third wheel.
Her ego and her heart were stomped on the ground, like a cockroach. A beautiful, kind, hard working sim shouldn't go through all that. She headed back home, to the privacy of her bedroom and cried her eyeballs out. Ali didn't come home that night and went straight to work.
The next day, Millie invited Gabriel over. Oooh no, she wouldn't let him have Ali so easily. She would humiliate him first. He came over and she started yelling at him. Her face was red and hot, she was fueled by rage. She ending up giving him the beating of his life. When Ali came home from work, both his lovers were black and blue from fighting.
Baby Angelique started crying. She had woken up. Millie rushed upstairs to help her toddler with her needs, but Ali and Gabriel stayed downstairs. Ali tried to comfort Gabriel, asking him to stay. He didn't care about his marriage anymore. God led them to the hall upstairs, outside the bedrooms. They started woohooing again, right there, like animals!
Poor Millie, as she opened her daughter's bedroom's door, she caught her cheater husband in the act! THE AUDACITY!!! And if it that wasn't enough, when she went over to slap him, he acted like she wasn't there and went to woohoo in the shower with his boyfriend - AGAIN! WTH!!!
At this point, Millie knew it was time to give Ali the boot and kick him the hell out of their home, and so she did. After Ali's lover left, the married couple had a long, heated conversation that only had one outcome - Ali had to move out immediately.
So, he left and rented a one-bedroom apartment in the city. He also decided to ask Gabriel to live with him, and Gabriel happily accepted. A new chapter started for Ali but unresolved things were left in the middle with his wife that needed to be dealt with.
While all these took place, Millie had gotten close with celebrity Rahul Chopra. They became good friends and she was invited to his wedding. It was a one of a kind event because Rahul had a shotgun wedding with his wife when they were teenagers due to unwanted pregnancy. After many kids later, Rahul's eldest daughter, with the villainous valentine aspiration (long story) decided to break her eternally faithful parents up for fun. So they did break up, but they were so made for each other, like puzzle pieces, that it was impossible to not end up together again.
Rahul fell back in love with his wife and they decided to do it right this time. They planned the perfect wedding event in San Myshuno's park, during sunset. The whole family was there and their 2nd child, Philip (YA) would take the professional pictures of the wedding.
The ceremony started, everyone (almost) was seated and the photographer (and me) were preoccupied with taking the happy couples pictures. As the ceremony ended, the couple was ready to share their first kiss as husband and wife. The air was filled with confetti that floated playfully around them, the fireworks were set off behing them and the sun was showering them with the warmest rays. It was a one time opportunity to get the perfect picture. Philip got ready to press click. And then, she appeared.
Millie, clearly bothered and heartbroken by other people's love, made a run for the exit and ruined Philip's perfect photograph. The angry look on her face would forever haunt Philip's mind. Why would that woman ruin this happy moment and why the hell would she wear white at someone's wedding? I mean, you wouldn't mistake her for the bride, who wore an expensive wedding gown, but still... Something was wrong with this girl and Philip had to find out...
After the wedding, Millie went back home. The days passed and the divorce was not finalized. She asked her kid who she wanted to stay with, but without reply. She called Ali over, but he texted back he didn't want to come over. Millie had her -now child- daughter call over her dad. This time, Ali responded positively and soon after he arrived. Millie took him straight to the lawyers to see who will get custody of Angelique.
This time, God had no plans, God left it all to luck. So, unfortunately, Ali won custody of Angelique, who immediately went to live with him. Now, Millie was alone. Only her and her money and her baby son's grave in the front yard. Now she was angry, NOW HE WOULD PAY.
Millie grabbed Ali and went once again to the lawyers. It was now time to split the estate. At least 100k simoleons in the bank, plus whatever the house is worth. Millie wants to get everything, but once again, God won't interfere. She comes back home, head down, beaten - she lost 80k.
She turns to her new friend, Philip. He is basic, but he's a good guy. He lives alone in an apartment in San Myshuno, studies Fine Arts in university, comes from a good family. He also has a girlfriend that lives across the hall from him, but Millie doesn't know. And God tells her to come onto him. Now Philip has two girlfriends and God must interfere.
God and luck are playing games with Millie's life.
As I'm writing her story, there's only one thing I feel: Sad.
This girl started out with hopes and dreams. So I think that we should forgive her for attending a friend's wedding wearing white. Some God forgot to change her formal outfit and it was all she had to wear. She's going through a lot!
Her story ends for now, but if you guys like it I might write more about her life's adventures.
Also, what should she do with Philip? Let me know in the comments!
If you read this whole essay / story , you are amazing! And thanks! Hope you liked it! :)
TLDR: YA woman starts with 0 money in off the grid island. Wants to earn a million. Gets pregnant by married neighbor with kids. Marries him and they buy new home. They get pregnant second time, lose the baby.He gets a good job, meets new people, gets new guy friend, has woohoo with that friend. The 3 of them have expanded woohoo. Woman breaks it off. Woman confronts husband about loving other man, he confesses he loves him. Woman kicks him out and he lives alone in flat. The other guy moves in with him. Woman heartbroken, goes to friends wedding wearing white, is angry at happy couple's love, ruins the married couple kiss photo. Photo becomes famous on Reddit. Woman loses custody of only child. Woman loses 80k simoleons after splitting estate. Woman becomes girlfriend of the photographer from the friend's wedding. Photographer already has another girlfriend.
*****EDIT*********** I can't believe I forgot to write this, but Millie also drowned in the ocean while being fatigued from diving for treasures. I decided to not save and give her a second chance. Her life is dramatic, UUUUUUGH!!!!
2024.05.18 23:48 DearExperience4795 Questions regarding my recently deceased pet
To start, my post isn't to criticize or blame any of the vets decisions at all, I'm really just wondering if anyone here will have some insight to the situation and help me get some closure. Most of this will probably read more as a vent than anything, but I'm having a difficult time processing all of this.
(Some backstory and context- ) My family's golden retriever passed away yesterday morning. She was 13, she lived a long life. I wasn't her primary owner, she was my parents dog and I feel a lot of conflicting emotions regarding the way she was cared for. She received some emotional attention and she was given a lot of treats, but that's about it. No vet visits, no regular grooming, no walks, no stimulation. She was a house dog. When I was younger and more available, I would walk her every day and groom her regularly, she seemed really healthy. Once I didn't have time anymore, no one else stepped up to make sure she was getting that necessary care. A few months ago, I got sick of it and tried to groom her, but she was covered in so many matts that I really didn't feel equipped to deal with (I had actually accidentally cut her arm after trying a little bit, I couldn't even see her skin, this made me cry for like 2 hours and I was tearfully begging that they take her in), she needed a professional groomer and I even offered to pay for one to no avail. I told them she needs to see a vet as well because she was covered in so many lumps and bumps, and given her breed, there's a big chance they were cancerous. I didn't expect them to make her go through extensive cancer treatment, but I did expect them to get her looked at and provided with all of their options for care, mostly related to pain management.
(The past week- ) They waited until the very last moment to get her to see a vet, her breathing was extremely labored and wheezy. They immediately prescribed 300mg dose of gabapentin, 20mg of Prednisone, and 375mg of Clavamox (generic) tablets (I believe she weighed 60-70lbs). The Clavamox was specified to be taken with food, my mom somehow interpreted this as a small amount (like, hide it in a slice of turkey or peanut butter amount of food) and not a full meal. She gave her 2 rounds of doses of all 3 medications, once in the evening (the day of seeing the vet), then again the following morning despite her not having had a full meal yet. Lily (goldys name), had a very drastic reaction to this, she collapsed (hindsight, I assume from the Gabapentin), tried to get up, collapsed again, and urinated all over herself. Not too long after, she vomited the very little food she had had in the past couple days. At this point, I wasn't aware of any the medications she was receiving, and I told my mom to hold off until we speak to a vet. I told them to write down everything that's happened since seeing the vet the day before; how she hasn't eaten, how she received 2 rounds of medications, and the details of the accident that happened in the morning. I told them to make a detailed list that includes the names of the medications and to call a vet and ask where we should go from here. I went to work, came home, and found that neither of them did any of that. They decided to just hold off on the Clavamox medication until her follow up appointment (a week away from her last appointment). At this point they're still wanting to feed her anything at all, lunch turkey slices, uncooked sausage, peanut butter, etc. I again told them we should consult a vet about diet in this time, she's old, she's in pain, she's on medications. Still nothing. I googled foods to feed dogs when they're sick, got results like unseasoned, boiled chicken, rice, 100% pumpkin puree, and other things. Thankfully, they bought some of these foods. The only thing she would even nibble on was the pumpkin puree, but it was something. The next day, yesterday morning, she again received her medications even though she still hadn't eaten a full meal at this point. I feel like that much medication without food for so long would be very taxing on the body, am I correct in that assumption or... ? Anyway, not long after receiving it, she passed away. She died silently right next to me, in my doorway. I didn't even notice it happened and it's breaking my heart every time I think about it. I feel so much anger, in part towards my parents but also towards myself.
***At the end of the day I guess my question is***, do you think the vet was aware of all these circumstances to a degree? Do you think they were aware of the immense amount of neglect and decided to ease her suffering? I almost take relief if that's the case, in someone doing anything about her condition. I just wish I had known how little time I had left with her. I know that no one will have a definitive answer to this, I guess I just want to hear some informed speculation from anyone who has some experience with this sort of thing.
If anyone is wondering why I didn't do all of the care myself, I don't have a car or license, nor could I afford all of it alone, nor did I have the time to do all of it alone, and all of that contributes to the guilt I feel. I have my own cats that I take great care of and make sure they're safe, stimulated and healthy. I can't also take care of my parents pets, unfortunately. As of now, they have one dog and I'm trying to encourage them to walk him, to take him to the vet and to be more involved in his care while it's not too late. They simply can't wait until the last second again, it's unconscionable. I also urged that they not get another pet, which luckily they agreed to as they don't want to deal with more heartbreak of losing a pet. Anyway, thank you for reading and I hope this wasn't too much to read, sorry.
submitted by DearExperience4795 to AskVet [link] [comments]
(Some backstory and context- ) My family's golden retriever passed away yesterday morning. She was 13, she lived a long life. I wasn't her primary owner, she was my parents dog and I feel a lot of conflicting emotions regarding the way she was cared for. She received some emotional attention and she was given a lot of treats, but that's about it. No vet visits, no regular grooming, no walks, no stimulation. She was a house dog. When I was younger and more available, I would walk her every day and groom her regularly, she seemed really healthy. Once I didn't have time anymore, no one else stepped up to make sure she was getting that necessary care. A few months ago, I got sick of it and tried to groom her, but she was covered in so many matts that I really didn't feel equipped to deal with (I had actually accidentally cut her arm after trying a little bit, I couldn't even see her skin, this made me cry for like 2 hours and I was tearfully begging that they take her in), she needed a professional groomer and I even offered to pay for one to no avail. I told them she needs to see a vet as well because she was covered in so many lumps and bumps, and given her breed, there's a big chance they were cancerous. I didn't expect them to make her go through extensive cancer treatment, but I did expect them to get her looked at and provided with all of their options for care, mostly related to pain management.
(The past week- ) They waited until the very last moment to get her to see a vet, her breathing was extremely labored and wheezy. They immediately prescribed 300mg dose of gabapentin, 20mg of Prednisone, and 375mg of Clavamox (generic) tablets (I believe she weighed 60-70lbs). The Clavamox was specified to be taken with food, my mom somehow interpreted this as a small amount (like, hide it in a slice of turkey or peanut butter amount of food) and not a full meal. She gave her 2 rounds of doses of all 3 medications, once in the evening (the day of seeing the vet), then again the following morning despite her not having had a full meal yet. Lily (goldys name), had a very drastic reaction to this, she collapsed (hindsight, I assume from the Gabapentin), tried to get up, collapsed again, and urinated all over herself. Not too long after, she vomited the very little food she had had in the past couple days. At this point, I wasn't aware of any the medications she was receiving, and I told my mom to hold off until we speak to a vet. I told them to write down everything that's happened since seeing the vet the day before; how she hasn't eaten, how she received 2 rounds of medications, and the details of the accident that happened in the morning. I told them to make a detailed list that includes the names of the medications and to call a vet and ask where we should go from here. I went to work, came home, and found that neither of them did any of that. They decided to just hold off on the Clavamox medication until her follow up appointment (a week away from her last appointment). At this point they're still wanting to feed her anything at all, lunch turkey slices, uncooked sausage, peanut butter, etc. I again told them we should consult a vet about diet in this time, she's old, she's in pain, she's on medications. Still nothing. I googled foods to feed dogs when they're sick, got results like unseasoned, boiled chicken, rice, 100% pumpkin puree, and other things. Thankfully, they bought some of these foods. The only thing she would even nibble on was the pumpkin puree, but it was something. The next day, yesterday morning, she again received her medications even though she still hadn't eaten a full meal at this point. I feel like that much medication without food for so long would be very taxing on the body, am I correct in that assumption or... ? Anyway, not long after receiving it, she passed away. She died silently right next to me, in my doorway. I didn't even notice it happened and it's breaking my heart every time I think about it. I feel so much anger, in part towards my parents but also towards myself.
***At the end of the day I guess my question is***, do you think the vet was aware of all these circumstances to a degree? Do you think they were aware of the immense amount of neglect and decided to ease her suffering? I almost take relief if that's the case, in someone doing anything about her condition. I just wish I had known how little time I had left with her. I know that no one will have a definitive answer to this, I guess I just want to hear some informed speculation from anyone who has some experience with this sort of thing.
If anyone is wondering why I didn't do all of the care myself, I don't have a car or license, nor could I afford all of it alone, nor did I have the time to do all of it alone, and all of that contributes to the guilt I feel. I have my own cats that I take great care of and make sure they're safe, stimulated and healthy. I can't also take care of my parents pets, unfortunately. As of now, they have one dog and I'm trying to encourage them to walk him, to take him to the vet and to be more involved in his care while it's not too late. They simply can't wait until the last second again, it's unconscionable. I also urged that they not get another pet, which luckily they agreed to as they don't want to deal with more heartbreak of losing a pet. Anyway, thank you for reading and I hope this wasn't too much to read, sorry.
2024.05.18 23:41 Sweet-Count2557 Best Travel Toys For 5 Month Old
 | Best Travel Toys For 5 Month Old submitted by Sweet-Count2557 to worldkidstravel [link] [comments] Exploring the world with a baby can be an exciting adventure. But, while they may not have any say in where you go and what you do, it’s important to bring along some of their favorite things too! Choosing the right travel toys for your 5 month old is essential for ensuring that both your little one and yourselves are happy on the road. As a travel expert specializing in infant journeys, I'm here to guide you through selecting the Best Travel Toys For 5 Month Old that will keep them entertained and content during those long car or plane rides! Rattles And Teethers Traveling with an infant can be a daunting task, but it doesn't have to be! With the right travel toys for your 5-month-old baby, you can make sure that every journey is enjoyable. Rattles and teethers are essential for any trip - they give babies something to hold, soothe them when upset, and provide hours of entertainment. For traveling purposes, lightweight rattles are ideal - look for ones made from soft materials like cloth or silicone, as those will easily fit in a diaper bag. If possible, find options that come with different textures and shapes; this way you'll keep your little one's attention longer. Soothing sounds are also key: pick out some musical options that will help lull them into peaceful slumber while on the go. When choosing rattles and teethers for your 5 month old baby, always consider portability and convenience over size and complexity. Traveling should never mean sacrificing comfort; by equipping yourself with the right tools you can ensure your child has all the sensory stimulation they need without having to lug around extra items along the journey. And who knows? You might even enjoy it too! Books And Music Now that you have chosen the rattles and teethers for your 5 month old, it is time to think about other toys they can enjoy while traveling. Books and music are great options since they both provide an educational opportunity as well as entertainment during long trips. For books, look into interactive ones with bright colors and fun characters. These types of books will keep your baby entertained throughout the journey: A touch-and-feel book with different textures on each page An alphabet board book that teaches letter recognition A pop-up book made from sturdy paper that stands up to wear and tear Interactive music is also a great tool for keeping your infant engaged during travel. Consider these musical items: A toy instrument like a xylophone or drum set so your little one can make their own tunes Educational songs featuring animal noises, counting, letters, etc. Playlists of calming classical music for naps in transit With books and music at hand, you'll be able to create a learning environment no matter where you are! Keep in mind that safety comes first when selecting any type of toy; always double-check age recommendations before purchasing anything for your 5 month old. Soft Toys It won't be long before you and your 5-month old baby are packing up the car for a road trip. As an expert in infant travel, I recommend having soft toys, to keep them entertained as well as comfortable during their travels. Here's a list of some of my favorite travel toy companions: ToyAge RangeWeightTeddy Bear Rattle0+ Months2 lbs.Cuddle & Coo Owl3+ Months.99 lbs.Soft Book0+ Months1 lbLamaze Activity Gym0+ Months4 lbs. Soft toys are great when traveling with an infant because they provide sensory stimulation through bright colors and engaging textures. They also give babies something familiar to hold onto while exploring new sights, sounds, and smells on the open road. Plus, they're small enough to fit into diaper bags or backpacks without taking up too much space! When it comes time to say goodbye to home comforts, these beloved friends can serve as a reminder that no matter how far away from home we may go, there will always be something along for the ride that is sure to make us feel loved and secure - even if it’s only just a little plush bear rattle! Activity Mats Traveling with a 5-month old can be both exciting and daunting. To make it easier, having the right travel toys is essential. Activity mats are perfect for keeping your baby entertained during long trips. They’re lightweight, foldable, and easily stored away when not in use. Plus they come in many different designs that promote imaginative play and sensory exploration through tactile materials. Activity mats provide endless hours of fun at home or on the go because they’re made from durable yet soft baby-safe materials like cotton and foam which makes them travel-friendly too! Your little one will love exploring all the textures and colors of the mat while developing motor skills as well as hand-eye coordination. They’ll also love getting lost in their own world of pretend play using various shapes, patterns, and objects found on the activity mat! Your 5 month old deserves to enjoy every journey with you just as much as you do! With an activity mat, they won’t only have something entertaining to play with but something that promotes learning too – making it a win-win situation for everyone involved! So why wait? Get creative with your travels by investing in some portable toys that your baby can cherish no matter where life takes them. Stacking Blocks And Puzzles Ah, the joys of traveling with an infant! Nothing quite compares to it. It's a special time - and one that can be made even more enjoyable when you have the right travel toys for your 5-month old little one. Here are some ideas that just might make life on the go a bit easier: Stacking blocks and puzzles: These are great for helping babies develop their fine motor skills while learning about colors, shapes, numbers, letters and other concepts. Not only do they provide hours of fun but also help create strong cognitive connections in young minds. Building Blocks: This is another favorite among five month olds because they allow them to experiment with gravity as well as discover new ways to build structures by connecting pieces together. Plus, building blocks come in all sorts of colors and shapes which helps stimulate tactile senses as well sensory development too. Sensory Toys: Finally, consider investing in a few sensory toys (rattles, teethers, or stuffed animals) that will help engage the baby’s sense of hearing, touch, and sight while on the move. Just make sure they aren't too noisy so as not to disturb other travelers! Traveling with an infant doesn't need to be stressful – especially if you plan ahead and pick up a couple of age-appropriate items like stacking blocks or puzzles before heading out on your journey. With these simple tips in mind, you'll be able to enjoy yourselves during those long days spent away from home without breaking the bank either! Push And Pull Toys When it comes to traveling with a 5-month old, push-and-pull toys can provide an invaluable source of entertainment. From bouncy seats to travel strollers, these items are guaranteed to keep your little one engaged during even the longest trips. If you're searching for something that's easy to transport and set up quickly, a bouncy seat is ideal. Its lightweight design makes it simple to move from place to place without taking up too much space. Plus, its soft material is comfortable enough for prolonged periods of use. Travel strollers offer more stability than traditional ones due to their durable frames and tight turns capabilities. The ergonomic handlebars make them particularly convenient when navigating busy streets or tight corners in airports. Furthermore, they contain ample storage compartments so parents can easily store all the essentials while on the go – like snacks, extra clothes, and diapers! All in all, push and pull toys are must-haves for any parent looking for a stress-free experience when travelling with young babies. Activity Centers When it comes to travel toys for a 5 month old, activity centers offer a great range of educational benefits. Not only can they help promote cognitive development, but they also provide a stimulating environment to help your little one practice their motor skills. Before you buy an activity center, it's important to ensure you're following all safety guidelines to ensure the safety of your baby. Educational Benefits When it comes to educational benefits, activity centers are a great way for 5 month olds to learn and develop new skills! They're designed with language development and motor skill growth in mind. Plus, the bright colors and fun sounds provide plenty of stimulation for their growing minds. And when you're traveling, these all-in-one toys can be easily packed away or even attached to the stroller so your little one has access to them wherever they go. With an activity center, you can rest assured that your child's learning process is not put on pause during your travels - allowing them to continue to grow and have fun along the journey! So why wait? Invest in an activity center today for your 5-month-old traveler – because nothing beats being able to take education on the road. Motor Skill Development As a dedicated travel expert and consultant for baby/infant travels, I know how important it is to help your little one grow even while on the go. Motor skill development can be achieved in many different ways with an activity center! Playing with buttons, pulling strings, pushing levers, or turning knobs - they're all great ways to enhance their motor skills. Plus, these activities will also encourage socializing as you talk about what each part does. What's more? These toys are designed so that they can easily transition from playtime to bathtime without any fuss. So don't wait - get an activity center today and watch your child learn new skills wherever the road takes them! Safety Guidelines When traveling with an infant or toddler, it's important to consider safety guidelines. This is especially true when using activity centers! Make sure that the center has a secure base and won't move once placed on any surface. Additionally, avoid leaving your little one unattended for long periods of time - even if they are sitting in their activity center. Babysitting tips such as having another adult present can help you enjoy some well-deserved freedom while still keeping your child safe. Don't forget: use common sense and make sure all parts are age appropriate before letting them play! With these simple rules, there's no reason why both parents and children alike shouldn't be able to travel safely while enjoying the benefits of an activity center. Baby Gyms The activity centers are great for keeping your 5 month old occupied at home, but when it comes to travel safety and entertainment on the airplane, baby gyms have you covered. Baby gyms come in different shapes and sizes that easily fold away so they can fit into your carry-on luggage with no problem. Many of them even come equipped with a mirror, hanging toys, and activities designed specifically to stimulate developing minds. Baby gyms provide ample opportunities for exploration during flights, as well as being safe enough to use in confined spaces like an airplane cabin or hotel room. You don't need to worry about loose parts or small pieces getting lost; most models incorporate all the elements into one interactive unit. Traveling parents will also appreciate that the setup is quick and easy – just unroll it from its compact carrying case and pop out the connecting rods - so there's plenty of time left over for exploring new places! These versatile items make long journeys more enjoyable by providing endless hours of fun without taking up too much space in your travel bag. Plus, given their unique designs, your 5 month old won't be able to resist discovering what lies inside these colorful play areas! Playpens As a travel expert specializing in baby/infant travel, I recommend playpens as one of the best options for keeping your 5 month old safe and entertained during trips. Playpens offer convenience and portability, allowing you to keep an eye on your little one wherever you go. Plus, they can make any unfamiliar environment more secure and comfortable for babies. Here are some tips when choosing the right playpen: Look for models with adjustable heights so that it can grow with your child’s needs. Select lightweight designs that fold easily and come with carrying cases or straps for extra mobility. Choose materials that are easy to clean and transport without taking away from comfort. Make sure the playpen meets safety standards like ASTM International Standards before purchasing. When traveling with your infant, it's important to have a secure place where you can set them down safely while still having access to their belongings such as toys or diapers. Playpens provide peace of mind by giving parents control over their child’s surroundings without sacrificing freedom or spontaneity of movement during holidays or excursions abroad. The key is finding a balance between practicality, portability, and kid-friendly features—playpens provide just that! Stuffed Animals Stuffed animals may seem like a classic, but often overlooked option when it comes to travel toys for 5-month-olds. But don't be fooled: they can provide just as much comfort and entertainment on the road as all those other fancy gadgets. Portable cuddles and soft sensory stimulation are what make these playthings so great – not to mention that there's something special about loving a stuffed animal from infancy through adulthood. One of the best things about travel toys in this category is their size. Tiny teddy bears, bunnies, and dinosaurs fit easily into carry-on bags (or even pockets) without taking up too much space or adding extra weight. These small wonders also come at an affordable price point, allowing parents to stock up on multiple items without breaking the bank. Plus, since most babies love snuggling with something soft, it's easy to find one that suits your little one's individual preferences. You can have some fun playing around with different textures when you select your baby's new companion. Experimenting with fabrics like plush fur and corduroy gives them plenty of tactile exploration opportunities while providing comforting companionship whenever needed during your travels together. So go ahead and give the tried-and-true stuffed animal a chance: odds are it'll become your infant's favorite toy in no time! Frequently Asked Questions What Age Should My Child Be Before I Start Traveling With Them? When it comes to traveling with your infant, the most important factor to consider is their age. Generally speaking, you should wait until at least 6 months before beginning any kind of travel plans for a baby - this gives them time to build up an immunity and strength in order to handle the stresses and environmental changes associated with being on the go. Additionally, having all your packaging essentials (diapers, wipes, formula, etc) ready beforehand will help make sure that everything goes as smoothly as possible when you leave home. When done right, traveling with a young child can be a fun and rewarding experience – just remember to plan ahead! How Much Should I Spend On Travel Toys For My 5 Month Old? When it comes to travel toys for your 5 month old, one of the most important things to consider is how much you should spend. As a travel expert specializing in baby and infant travel, I recommend carefully selecting quality toys that suit your budget so that both mommy and baby can have an enjoyable trip. With such a wide selection available nowadays, there are plenty of options when it comes to finding the perfect toy - just make sure they meet all traveling requirements! Taking into account cost as well as safety and entertainment needs will help ensure a successful journey with your little one - allowing freedom to explore while still having peace of mind. Are There Any Safety Considerations To Keep In Mind When Selecting Travel Toys? When selecting travel toys for your 5 month old, it is important to consider safety first. Choosing materials that are non-toxic and durable will ensure your baby's health and well-being. Additionally, you should look out for toy features such as removable parts or button attachments that could present a choking hazard. As a travel expert specializing in infant travel, I highly recommend considering these factors when choosing the best travel toys for your little one! How Can I Make Sure That My 5 Month Old Stays Entertained While Traveling? Traveling solo with a 5-month-old can be quite the challenge, especially when it comes to keeping them entertained. However, with some clever planning and socializing tips, you can make sure your little one has an enjoyable journey. You'll need to select toys that are age-appropriate, small enough to fit in their bag, and safe for travel use. Look for items like teething rings or rattles that will keep them interested while also helping them learn new skills such as grasping and reaching. Additionally, provide plenty of stimulation through conversations and songs during long trips! With these strategies in place, you can ensure a fun-filled adventure for both parent and baby alike! How Often Should I Replace Or Upgrade My 5 Month Old's Travel Toys? A travel expert's dream, upgrading and replacing your 5 month old's travel toys are an absolute must for parents on the go! To make sure that your little one stays entertained while traveling, you should always have a variety of toy types and travel gear readily available. From teething rings to stuffed animals, there are countless options that will help keep them content no matter how long their journey may be! With the right selection of toys and a bit of creative thinking, you can ensure that your baby stays happy and occupied - making it easier than ever to explore new places together. Conclusion Traveling for a 5-month-old can be daunting, but it doesn't have to be. With the right travel toys and safety considerations in mind, you'll be able to ensure your little one stays entertained while on the go. You don't need to break the bank when selecting toys; investing in a few good quality items that last is key. It's also important to keep an eye out for upgrades as your baby grows. As long as you're prepared, traveling for a 5-month-old is like taking a journey of discovery - full of fun surprises along the way! |
2024.05.18 23:39 ahawk_one D2 Timeline of Events and Vex...
So with The Final Shape looming, it's got me thinking about storylines and stuff, and something occurred to me that I can't seem to resolve on my own. Hope ya'll can help me out.
submitted by ahawk_one to DestinyLore [link] [comments]
A Loose Timeline
- Traveler shows up in Sol
- Humans travel to Mars to meet the Traveler
- Traveler comes to Earth and bestows a Golden Age upon humanity
- Near the close of the Golden Age, two prominent characters emerge, Clovis Bray and Maya Sundaresh
- Maya heads a research team for Ishtar Collective, primarily based on Venus, studying allegedly ancient Vex ruins and structures that seem to defy laws of time and space. Namely the Citadel, although they are also aware of the existence of the Vault of Glass
- Clovis is the namesake and head of the Clovis Bray corporation which is dedicated to pushing the limits of human potential at any cost. Often studies dangerous and unknown phenomena and artifacts found on the Moon and Europa, with little regard for the safety of his workers or test subjects. Clovis and his family created the Warmind Rasputin and the Exo’s.
- On Venus, Maya and her team discover the scope of Vex simulation power through the simulations a small Vex is running about her and her team. With the help of Rasputin, they are able to “rescue” their simulated copies, and then disperse those into the Vex net to explore and study it.
- These copies are released into the Citadel, which is on Venus near the Vault of Glass
- On Europa, Clovis discovers an ancient dark artifact that emits a power he calls “Clarity” which he uses to ultimately perfect the Exos by combining Clarity with Vex Mind Fluid and putting this inside the bodies of Exos.
- Vex mind fluid is harvested from a Vex world called Volantis, on the other side of the portal in the Glassway strike
- Prior to this, Clovis’s corporation comes into possession of an item called the K1 Artifact. Found on the moon. It induces nightmares and insanity in people near it. It seems to be of the Darkness, possibly of the Witness or Nezerac, but it predates the arrival of either in Sol.
- But Clovis does recognize it and Clarity as being part of the same thing, the same network, etc.
- Witness comes to Sol with the Veil to attempt to enact its Final Shape
- For some reason, the Veil is not with the Witness, but is with Nezerac aboard Nezerac’s Pyramid
- Not sure of the exact order, but during this invasion the following things happen:
- Savathun defeats Nezerac, and takes the Veil from his ship to hide it away on Neptune
- (Why Neptune?)
- Mara Sov and the crew of her ship are caught in the crossfire and transported to a place that would become the Distributary
- Nezerac’s ship ends up on Luna
- (or was it always there?)
- The Witness seemingly abandoned its plans for some reason, and fled the system
- The Traveler released Ghosts out into the world who would raise Lightbearers
- At some point at or shortly after this failed invasion, the Witness attempts to recreate the Veil in the Black Garden.
- The Vex are involved but something doesn’t add up here.
- Savathun defeats Nezerac, and takes the Veil from his ship to hide it away on Neptune
Now For the Stuff That Doesn't Add Up
- What is Clarity and what was the K1 artifact?
- Both were in Sol seemingly LONG before the Collapse, which means long before the Traveler showed up, which means long before the Witness or any of it’s disciples would have visited Sol.
- The moon was formed when an asteroid collided with Earth. Is it possible that in Destiny’s universe, this collision contained things like K1?
- Why would Clarity be on Europa of all places, and why does Clarity breath when the other statues that resemble Clarity are still?
- The Black Heart doesn’t make sense in this timeline even before the arrival of the Witness to the cannon.
- Setting aside the Witness for a moment (just pretend it doesn’t exist for now)
- Going by D1 lore, it is the source of the Primeval Minds
- Primeval Minds were meant to bring forth the powers of the Vault of Glass
- The Vault of Glass may exist outside of time and space (is this true?), but even still, on Venus there are Ishtar records of it, as well as geo maps I believe that show it going down far underneath the surface of Venus.
- This means that it was there during the Golden Age, but we don’t know for how long
- If the Black Heart is what prevents the Traveler from healing, yet seemingly had no effect prior to that then that means one of two things:
- Either the heart was constructed after the Traveler went dormant
- Or the heart was inert or unable to affect the Traveler until after it went dormant
- Either way, the Traveler going dormant at a specific point in time was required for the relationship between the Primeval Minds and the Vault to become possible.
- If this was the plan all along, the Vex would have needed to be able to predict the actions and the intent of both the Traveler and the Black Fleet, which were both known to be paracausal forces
- If this wasn’t the plan, and was instead opportunistic action taken by the Vex, why did they add the Vault to Venus prior to any of this happening?
- This also does not provide insight into what the Black Garden is or why a Black Heart would grow there, or why Vex would be there.
- If we bring the Witness back in, then some of this makes sense.
- The Witness seeking a copy of the Veil uses the Black Garden and apparently the Sol Divisive to construct it.
- This occurs after the Witness loses the Veil during the Collapse.
- But it does not answer where the Sol Divisive came from or what the Black Garden is.
- It also does not explain why the Witness would try to use the Vex to create the Heart, because a being this old and well traveled will have known the Vex limitations when it comes to paracausal simulation and construction.
What is so important about Sol for the Vex?
They can build a planet sized computer literally anywhere, out of anything. So why build their sensitive prediction engines near the Traveler and the Vanguard? For my purposes, we're going to skip the obvious gameplay related needs and focus on story reasons. Why is this happening in the story?- There are only three places where we see Vex that the Traveler has not also touched
- Europa - They came through Clovis's portal and largely went dormant after the war there.
- Neptune - They are apparently there for the Veil and later for Soteria
- The Moon - They come through the Garden Portal when we complete the Shadowkeep campaign
- There are some Vex structures around the portal, but otherwise their influence on the Moon seems limited to small physical patrols of Sol Divisive Vex
- Additionally there are four I know of that are not available or contaminated by Vex in game, but that we have accounts of
- Oryx's Throne World - Much like Europa, the Vex were only there because Crota opened a door too their space and let them in
- Volantis - The place Clovis's portal opens to
- Possibly the same place Crota accessed?
- The Leviathan -
- A mind that supposedly ran the Nessus planet computer was sucked into the Leviathan (so much for it's predictive powers...
- The Menagerie had Vex as well, but I don't remember if they came from Nessus with the Eater of Worlds boss, or if they were captured by Calus prioafter that.
- The Dreaming City - Season of the Wish they are in the city, in the tunnels created by Riven
- What's interesting is that, of the places the Traveler HAS NOT touched, and where they are still present, Neptune is the only one where they are doing much of anything that isn't wholly reactive to other beings disturbing their stuff.
- All other locations where we encounter the Vex, the Traveler also touched first
- Mercury
- Venus
- Earth
- Mars
- Io
- Nessus
- So the Vex seem to have a pattern of showing strong interest in converting worlds the Traveler has also altered. They also seem very interested in the Veil.
- Oryx’s Throne World is also a place that keenly interested them, when Crota let them in. And it is also a paracausal location filled with beings that utilize paracausal power.
- Despite Clarity being present on Europa, and having a known interaction with Vex Mind Fluid, the Vex there are still mostly asleep.
- Same in terms of the Moon where there are known Darkness artifacts as well as a whole Pyramid, an entrance to Crota’s Throne World, and a number of Hive running around. But they are not active there in force anymore
- And even though they seem to end up in other types of places, they don’t seem to do much there unless provoked.
- The Vex have known the location of the Veil for some time, yet the Witness doesn’t. This means that either the Sol Divisive doesn’t know either, or they withheld that information somehow for some reason.
- We don’t know what the Black Garden is yet.
- D1 frames it around the Black Heart, but as we can see that doesn’t even make sense by D1’s timeline
- D2 expands the framing through GoS and season of Undying. The Garden is it’s own thing, and the heart was added and removed later.
- Regardless, the Vex pattern of strong interest in converting things the Traveler has also altered, suggests to me that the Garden was probably also altered by the Traveler at some point
- So it seems like the Vex are either obsessed with the Traveler, or they are obsessed with things the Traveler has converted for some reason. And that seems to be why we find they're big dangerous computation engines and stuff like that here in Sol, and why they don't just build them literally anywhere else.
- And while yes they do seem to build stuff elsewhere, those things just don't seem to do much. And we can tell because they haven't just built an infinite forest off in the Andromeda Galaxy somewhere where NOTHING could ever disrupt it and they could compute endlessly. Even the Valut of Glass, the seat of their most arcane and powerful frames, is close to the current location of the Traveler.