Unlabeled diagram of leg muscles

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Synopsis:
Juliette Contzen is a lazy, good-for-nothing princess. Overshadowed by her siblings, she's left with little to do but nap, read … and occasionally cut the falling raindrops with her sword. Spotted one day by an astonished adventurer, he insists on grading Juliette's swordsmanship, then promptly has a mental breakdown at the result.
Soon after, Juliette is given the news that her kingdom is on the brink of bankruptcy. At threat of being married off, the lazy princess vows to do whatever it takes to maintain her current lifestyle, and taking matters into her own hands, escapes in the middle of the night in order to restore her kingdom's finances.
Tags: Comedy, Adventure, Action, Fantasy, Copious Ohohohohos.
Chapter 241: Until Now
The doors to the Hartzwiese Adventurer’s Guild opened.
Before, the sound of raucous laughter could be heard flooding the street outside, filling the quiet of a spring night with all the debauchery the local drunkards had to offer.
Despite the halls of adventurers not being formal drinking establishments, those within were ready to compete in boisterousness with all the taverns, inns and pubs of the town combined. And also win. Handily.
And yet–
The moment the doors parted and I stepped within, a hush as quiet as any grave fell over its inhabitants.
A woman balancing with her derrière upon the head of another became still, the alcohol in her cup the only movement as it dribbled onto a stunned face below her.
A man slurping from the communal cauldron stared wordlessly, the stew pouring in, and then out of his mouth as the muscles of his throat forgot the means to swallow.
A bartender asleep upon a row of kegs quietly rose, the sudden din of silence waking him where the sound of debauchery and those drinking from the taps beside him had failed.
Here, there, and everywhere, eyes widened as the sudden silence was filled with the sounds of my footsteps as I strolled past, my loyal handmaiden and my brother’s attendant in my wake.
And also–
Mreow.
Mrewowow.
Meww.
Cats.
Tabby cats.
Calico cats.
Ragdoll cats.
Cats with twirly whiskers. Cats with puffy faces. Cats with slightly rounded ears.
Behind me, skipping around my legs while taking turns to sit upon my shoulders and very occasionally my head, were a legion of cats of various shapes, sizes and colours.
But no matter the springiness of their whiskers, the shine of their coat or the liveliness of their tails, one thing to bring them all together was the anarchy they caused.
This was no neat line of ducklings following after their mother.
This was a barbarian horde.
With no sense of organisation other than a shared drive to claim everything as their own, they immediately skipped amidst the stunned adventurers, scavenging for all the copious scraps while still turning their noses away from the alcohol forming sticky traps upon the floor.
Saying nothing, I allowed their demanding cries to fill up the hall as I swept forwards, pausing before a wall plastered from end to end with faded notices and requests long gone unanswered.
One by one, I systemically tore every request featuring a crudely drawn image of a cat, gathering into my arms a pile of parchment large enough to reach my chin.
Then, I made my way to the wooden desk.
A receptionist waited with a smile at the ready.
“Greetings! Welcome to the Hartzwiese branch of the Adventurer’s Guild. I see you’ve removed several notices from the–”
Poomph.
Silenced but unperturbed, this latest clone watched as I dropped the stack of requests onto her desk, before promptly topping off the stack with a copper ring.
“Do what must be done,” I said, my voice defiant. “I am ready.”
The receptionist answered me with a smile more permanent than the wall the notices were torn from.
A moment later–
“[Identify].”
A green hue appeared in her clasped palms as she assessed the ring.
“Juliette. B-rank. Your registered branch is Reitzlake.”
The sound of several cups clattered against the floor.
“Welcome again to Hartzwiese. I see from your commission history that you have an extraordinary amount of completions for recovering lost cats. May I assume the significant number of cats now roaming the branch hall relate to the notices removed from the wall?”
I pursed my quivering lips.
“Maybe.”
“Wonderful. And how many cats is it that you’ve rescued?”
“... Lots.”
“I see. Please give me a moment while I confirm the requirements of our commissions.”
The receptionist swiftly retrieved a stack of parchment from a drawer.
As she flicked through, her eyes simultaneously went to every cat roaming, napping and clawing in the hall. A skill not even monstrous overseers from the abyss with their dozens of eyestalks could match. But that’s only to be expected.
Wherever these receptionists were found, it was from a level deeper than any monster dared roam.
Eventually, she gave a nod.
“Thank you for waiting. There appears to be an excess of cats in relation to the number of commissions we have available. We’ll endeavour to ensure that every cat is rehomed at the earliest opportunity through our partner agencies and charities. But unfortunately, I can only provide official acknowledgement for cats rescued through a formal commission.”
I sucked in a deep breath, hoping that patience was one of the things I accidentally inhaled.
“Fine. And how many commissions does that end up being, then? … 10? 15?”
The receptionist flicked through her bundle of parchments once more.
“94.”
“... Excuse me?”
“I can confirm the successful completion of 94 simultaneous F-ranked commissions. Congratulations. This is a new record, breaking what appears to be one earlier set by yourself. A remarkable achievement befitting a B-rank member of the guild.”
The receptionist’s professional smile never wavered.
I thought that would be the worst of it.
But then–
She slowly brought her hands together … and started applauding.
It was the leak which broke the dam.
At once, she was joined by all who were present to witness this crowning moment of regret.
I turned around in time to see a riot in motion.
“W-Wooooooooooo!!!!”
“In … Incredible …”
“A new record … I … I heard it was broken in Trierport … to think I’d witness it broken again!”
“A B-rank adventurer … ?! Where … Where did she come from … ?!”
There was no polite, respectful applause here.
It was the wild cheering of a crowd at a tournament. The whooping cries of theatregoers calling for an encore. The acclaim of my father as he elbowed others to delight in the poetry I’d written when I was 6 and thus now regularly attempted to burn.
Everywhere I turned, I saw and heard the acclaim mixed with shouts of horror as mugs of alcohol were spilled on purpose and by accident. The layabouts stomped on the floor, doing their best to murder decorum under the strain of unbridled emotion.
Only a few falling teardrops formed any hint of more dignified revelry, the glimmer of admiration running down cheeks as sniffles were hidden amidst the raucous cheering.
And then I bore witness to the most morbid sight.
Like a tidal wave of soiled clothes and snotty faces, they suddenly came as one, hands reaching out for me with dripping mugs still in their grips. Horror struck at my soul. And unlike a farmer who’d scarpered into the night, I had nobody who could heal a wound caused by hooligans accepting me as their own.
“A-Amazing!! Take my drink! Take anyone’s drink!!”
“So many cats rescued … even my allergies can’t believe it!”
“My gods, it’s a legend! An adventurer among adventurers!”
This.
This right here.
This was the lowest point of my life … were I not an unparalleled genius.
“Oho … ohoho …”
At once, the wave halted.
Faces which were lit up in unabashed delight turned to looks of mild confusion against the tinkling music of my laughter.
They needed to cycle through the expressions until they reached horror and shame.
“Ohhohohohohohoho!!”
… For I was no drunkard seeking to join their ranks!
No … I was Juliette Contzen, 3rd Princess to the Kingdom of Tirea!
And that meant every action I took, every word I spoke, and every cat I saved was for a reason beyond the hopes and dreams these hoodlums had of wanton debauchery and rusting swords!
Indeed!
A lesser princess than I may slink away into the night, cowed by the utter shame, humiliation and disgrace of completing so many F-ranked requests that I somehow broke a record I’d only just set!
But I was made of greater things!
Of schemes and subterfuges so deep that it would take too long to explain! The plots I weaved were a silken web more intricate than any cogs which made up Coppelia as she doubled up, desperately trying to stop herself from succumbing to more pain from laughter!
And that meant with every cat request now denied to these louts … they would finally do some work!
“Ohoho … ohohohohoho!! Behold and be afraid! Witness before you the coming of a new dawn, here to lift you from your days of boundless reverie! Unfurl the shutters and gaze upon a radiance so pure it brands your dallying minds! The scorching sun has come to test the snail’s back, and all that your bleary eyes see is a great salt lake to devour you whole! Shrivel as you cling upon the sweat which drips upon your brow, for that is the proof you’re yet alive!”
A sudden silence met my proclamation of their coming ordeal.
And then–
“Wooooooooooooooooooooooo!”
“I don’t understand! But what a speech!”
“If she can do it, so can we!”
I raised a hand to my lips, barely covering my smile.
“Ohhhohohohohohohoho … !”
Here it was!
Operation: Gainful Employment!
An entirely new strategy, as bold as it was uncharted!
By removing what was surely the vast majority of missing cat quests available to the adventurers of this town, they would have no choice, utterly none whatsoever, but to engage in actual work! The type of work adventurers openly advertised themselves as doing!
Monster subjugation! Crime prevention! Fetching artifacts from hidden dungeons and then succumbing to their wounds at the entrance while the Royal Treasury pocketed the treasure!
Yes, this was clearly a highly experimental tactic.
But what was I, if not a bastion of creativity?
At the very least, I utterly refused to accept the status quo! An organisation dedicated exclusively to rescuing lost cats or elbowing into my kingdom’s sovereign affairs was no good to me!
Thus … I could not cower like some towngirl nauseous from the smell of their revelry.
Instead, I would squeeze the Adventurer’s Guild dry until the day I replaced them with an army of trained poodles. Until that joyous day, I could never tear my eyes away when they waited to be robbed.
To do so was more than a dereliction of duty …
Why, I’d be an accomplice to their drunken escapades!
My vow remained unchanged. For my goal, I would brave any indignity. The ring I was hoping the receptionist would forget to return was proof of that.
And thus–
I stood tall as a summer reed, proud in the knowledge that I had no need to feel even an inkling of embarrassment over completing 94 simultaneous F-ranked commissions! …
“Pfffffffffffffffffffffffffffffft.”
“S-Stop at once! You are not to laugh!”
“Pffffttt~”
“C-Coppelia!!”
Clearly not seeing the angel of self-sacrifice who I was, Coppelia held one hand tightly around her mouth. Even so, she failed to stop either the sound of her amusement or the tears falling from her eyes.
My only salvation was that it came at significant cost to her. Even now, she careened between laughter and painful regret.
I decided to offer both her and myself mercy.
Turning to the receptionist, I found a modest pouch already waiting upon the wooden desk. As well as a copper ring waiting beside it.
“Thank you for your service to the Adventurer’s Guild,” said the receptionist, her professional smile undaunted by the commotion. “Your total remuneration is 102 gold crowns, 7 silver crowns and 9 copper crowns. I’ve taken the liberty to compile all your separate payments together.”
I took the pouch and ignored the ring.
The receptionist pushed the ring forwards.
A long moment later, I collected it, uncertain what a receptionist would do if I tossed it into the communal cauldron, but knowing it would somehow still end up on my finger regardless.
With my head held high, I bravely ignored the chorus of voices unknowingly cheering for their own hardship as I swept past. Renewed tears and applause filled the hall. A few cats attempted to follow me. I stopped to shoo them away.
And then I was outside, the door closing behind me.
“... Goodness, that was quite the sight,” said Renise with a bemused smile. “It reminded me somewhat of the inns of Reitzlake’s docks. I wonder if all the halls of adventurers are like that, or merely those which you frequent?”
“Please don’t insinuate I’m responsible for the debauchery which occurs wherever the Adventurer’s Guild is concerned. That’s something I can claim no credit for.”
“You say that … but to me, it seems that you caused quite a stir. That really is a remarkable number of cats you rescued, after all. Even I can tell that 94 simultaneous F-ranked commissions–”
“Miss Renise.”
The maid’s smile wavered against whatever fatigued expression I was making.
A moment later, it fell away entirely as she switched to her role as my brother’s attendant and the leader of whatever scoundrels he’d charged her with herding.
“... Yes, I suppose there’s time for idle conversation later. There’s a guardhouse nearby. We should report on all that’s happened tonight.”
I gave a nod of agreement.
Hopefully, the baroness hadn’t woken from her stupor yet. But if she had, I was certain the single portrait of myself I’d returned to the wall of her gallery to smile down at her gagged and bound state would calm her nerves.
Renise hummed towards the direction of Hartzwiese’s centre, before returning her attention to me.
“If you wish to keep your identity incognito, I can see guards sent to where they’re needed using my own authority, and arrange for the appropriate seizure of the goods and crowns we’ve discovered.”
I beamed at once.
My, so prudent! It’s little wonder she was chosen by Roland!
“A judicious offer. And one I’ll accept gladly, providing the burden isn’t too severe.”
“This is merely an administrative task, and little burden compared to what both yourself and Miss Coppelia regularly perform. In any event, it is only efficient. I expect I’ll be spending a significant amount of time at the baroness’s farmstead. It is quite extensive. If possible, I would like to make use of it for Rose House. I imagine having such a facility close to the Granholtz border would have its uses.”
I nodded, already forgetting the barn’s existence.
“I encourage you to use your discretion as required. My brother has put his trust in you, and so I both expect and know that you shall not disappoint in furthering the kingdom’s prosperity.”
The young woman smiled. One filled with appreciation, but also lacking ambition.
Good.
An excellent combination as far as retainers were concerned.
“Thank you. Although I worry you place too much trust in my abilities. In truth, those like Baroness Arisa would have made for a greater asset to the kingdom. Her resourcefulness must be acknowledged.”
“It is not resourcefulness my kingdom requires. It is loyalty. And hers is a pit so empty it drains others.”
“That’s true. But at least we were able to acquire some useful things from her nonetheless.”
Renise pulled out a tiny vial from the belt around her thigh.
A golden liquid was stored within, glimmering with an unnatural light.
“These were in her chamber,” she said, her eyes lacking emotion as she surveyed the bright liquid. “When we met, she actually attempted to purchase my loyalty with this.”
“A suspect vial. How quaint. And what miracle did she promise?”
“One that would wake my parents from their curse of eternal slumber.”
“... And is it?”
“I don’t believe so, no. This is one of many identical vials I found in her chamber’s desk drawer. All prominently labelled with instructions to only drink as required to stave off the effects of bloating.”
Renise returned the vial to her belt with a slightly embarrassed smile.
“It’s still useful,” she admitted. “But just not for what I require.”
I gave a simple nod as my reply.
Nothing else needed to be said.
She hoped to see her parents wake from their prison of dormancy. An understandable wish. And one I wasn’t required to supplement with the comment that no pair named the Smuggler King and the Smuggler Queen were likely to receive as light a sentence as their daughter.
I could not speak on behalf of Roland. Although I imagined that as a kind man, he would prefer not to pass judgements which were total. But as the Crown Prince, he did not have the luxury of kindness.
It would take much to change their fate.
But perhaps that’s why Renise was here, still proving true, and not accepting stomach ailment potions from a baroness.
A moment of silence followed.
Renise gave a short sigh. And that was that.
She set her eyes on the task ahead–at least until whatever words she’d parted her mouth to say were interrupted by Coppelia’s humming instead.
“Sooooooooooooooo … you just want to wake up two people eternally sleeping, right?”
A small smile met her optimistic voice.
“If a cure were readily available, I’m certain I would have found it by now. I believe one might be possible, but it would take skill and ingredients beyond any apothecary I know of.”
“Well, sure, you could go that way. But what about going straight to the source instead?”
“The source?”
“Sure. They’re asleep, right? So just ask the one in charge of where they are now.”
“I’m … not quite sure I follow?”
Coppelia clapped her hands together and beamed.
“The Spring Court is the realm of dreams. Chances are, they must have shown their faces around a few times by now. If you ask the Spring Queen nicely, she might do you a favour.”
“The Spring Queen? … The fae?”
“Mmh~ luckily, we have someone with connections here!”
Renise was startled out of her reply.
It was nothing compared to me. The one being pointed at.
“Coppelia!” I said, truly aghast at the suggestion. “The fae are not to be taken lightly. Why, I still have nightmares about my conversation with the Winter Queen! I learned a side to royalty that day which I shall never forget … and I’m quite poorer for it!”
“You met … the Winter Queen?” asked Renise, her eyes suddenly wide.
“Unfortunately, yes, but I had zero intention of meeting her, and I’ve just as little intention of meeting any other fae as well. Including the Spring Queen.”
I waved away the coming query to declare what was just as important as my lack of enthusiasm.
“Besides, I’ve not the foggiest idea how I would even hope to use these supposed connections I have.”
“Oh, that’s the easy bit,” said Coppelia, her casual disregard for what counted as ‘easy’ more terrifying than any lout I’d met today. “The hard part is getting them to do what you want. But meeting them? The fae are creatures of stories. If the time is right, they’ll speak to you–one way or another.”
“Then they must book an appointment. One which I can formally reject.”
“I mean, I don’t think you have much choice. You didn’t last time, right?”
“The last time, I was sat beside the Winter Queen’s crown. I see no fae artifacts to hook me away. And that means utterly no scenario in which I could be abducted without my express–”
I suddenly stopped, clasping my hands around my mouth.
A moment later, I raised my arms in a martial art I’d just invented, turning repeatedly on the spot.
Renise blinked at me.
“Excuse me, but what are–”
“Shhshhshh!!”
I paused, gazing intently around at the quiet, dark streets of Hartzwiese, all the while ignoring Coppelia’s giggling at my near miss.
That … That was close!
“O-Oho … oho … I almost invited something terrible. Truly, it’s perhaps best not to needlessly voice things which Fae Queens and their deviant brand of magic could use …”
Coppelia nodded at me, as proud as she was clearly disappointed.
“You’re lucky. If the Spring Queen had a sense of humour, she’d have snagged you right there and then.”
“No. If the Spring Queen had a sense of humour, she’d wait until–”
Click.
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Hello all. I am an AFAB Trans Man, I'm 20, 5'10, and around 220 pounds. (automod said I needed to add that stuff, sorry if it seems unnecessary) I've been dealing with feeling nauseated almost every day when I wake up, I've been having a really hard time when it comes to eating, and I just feel way weaker than I did a few years ago. My stomach always feels tight, like if I make one wrong move or eat one wrong thing I'm going to throw up.
I do have acid reflux, and I used to take proton pump inhibitors for them. I don't smoke or drink, but I occasionally use delta-8 cannabis to deal with chronic muscle pain in my legs. I'm also on antidepressants and the birth control implant. I'm not currently on HRT, though I was for about two months.
My older sibling believes that maybe my previous living situation has something to do with the way I've been feeling.
From 2020 up till March this year, I was living in a hoarder house. I didn't have much of a choice, as I wasn't able to find a job to save my life, and I didn't find a housing situation until recently. The house was filled to the absolute brim with clutter. The bathroom was practically a biohazard, as my stepdad had a bunch of fecal accidents and would clean himself off in the shower, and it was PULLING TEETH getting him to clean up after himself! (I'm lucky I moved out after my mom died, as often times I would have to call her and say "Hey, can you tell Dad to stop being an asshole and clean up his own shit?" and that lifeline is now ashes in a box) The kitchen was the worst, filled with food we could barely store, and old gross pizza boxes (my stepdad would use them as flat surfaces to stack even MORE clutter), and a shit ton of moldy food from dishes my Stepdad would put off washing for weeks. We also had a dog that wasn't housebroken. He didn't use pee pads, he wasn't allowed outside unless I was walking him, so he literally peed everywhere. In a CARPETED HOUSE.
I don't like talking about this much because it's very embarassing, even though I know there wasn't much I could do about it (got verbally abused and screamed at every time I tried to clean up). It's especially embarassing considering how hard we tried to train the dog, but I was trying to find a job and finish high school, and my older sister was working her ass off trying to leave the same awful situation. Our mom knew we couldn't manage a dog, but she insisted on getting one anyway.
My older sibling and I think that living in a house that gross has definitely done something to my body. Could this be true? If so, what the hell is going on with me?

WRITER CHAOS: BY JAYLEN WHITE
Naruto busted into the room, excited about today’s adventure. Meanwhile, Your Mom is sleeping on a large bed, because a regular bed can’t fit her large size. “I’M GONNA BE HO-HO-HOKAGE!” Naruto shouts. Then, Micheal Jackson slowly moonwalks to the nearest Glock 18 “ABOUT TO SHHOT YA’S BEFORE YA BECOME WHATEVER YOU JUST SAID!” Micheal Jackson says. “Proceed to shoot me now! Nothing will stop me from becoming big leader man!” Naruto exclaims. Soon, Your Mom gets up, with each step causing the ground to rumble, and then proceeds to groan softly. “Man, that nap was amazing! Got anymore ice cream?” Naruto and Micheal Jackson scream in terror as they see the large abomination, confused on how somehow like Your Mom could be so big.
Meanwhile, Mr Beast is hosting yet another challenge…
“HEY, FIRST PERSON TO DIE GETS 100 MILLION DOLLARS!” Mr Beast quickly says. Soon, the people attending quickly try to commit suicide, but Mr Beast gets hit by a nuclear missile before that can even happen. Mr Beast smiles, as half of his body is literary torn apart, “Man, well the challenge still continues!”
Your Mom is walking towards the duo, preparing to chunk them out of existence. “I don’t like heavy stares…” Your Mom deeply says. Naruto and Micheal Jackson look at each other in shock, before proceeding to run away from the big fat momma. Your Mom is too heavy to run, so she must slowly walk towards the group.
The people attending Mr Beast’s challenge have all died! Leaving good ol Jimmy Donaldson. “Oi gee walikers! I sure had fun killing and forcing these people to die!” A dying body groans in the distance, wondering why he hasn’t received money… “H-H-Hey… I died first… WHY!?!” The person screams, as he slowly bleeds out to the beating he received earlier, from the other attendants. Mr Beast stand up, and somehow, his torn-up body is healed instantly. He then checks his watch, and looks up at the sky…
“Looks like they finally arrived.” Jimmy says, before teleporting to another location.
Soon, Your Mom finally arrived to where Naruto and Micheal Jackson hid. “What are you doing kid?” Batman abruptly says, before firing at Your Mom with a minigun. Your Mom, however, is unfazed. “I don’t like people who shoot me with large weapons.” Your Mom slowly walks towards Batman, and Batman screams in terror, and doesn’t even try to run...

Batman is slowly killed by Your Mom’s large strength.
Naruto peaks from the hiding spot, very frightened by the creature. Suddenly, Naruto feels a surge of energy run through him, he feels like he could take on Your Mom…
Naruto’s eyes turn a lil bit frog-like, like, those, fox eyes? Yeah those. He then launches Your Mom all the way through the ground, causing a bit of blood to appear on her tough exterior.
Your Mom responds by slowly walking towards Naruto, but Naruto swiftly breaks her arm before she can continue moving. “AHHHHH.” Your Mom’s arm starts spurting blood, before she slowly falls to the ground, and dies slowly…
Naruto relieves his form, before twerking on Your Mom to literal insanity. Micheal Jackson pulls out his Glock, before shooting Naruto straight in the head, killing him. “Finally got rid of that Nuisance.”
Chapter 2: Mr Beast vs Micheal Jackson.
After the quick death of Naruto, Mr Beast teleports in front of Micheal Jackson. “Hey bro,” Mr Beast looks at the dead body, “You sure were busy…” Micheal Jackson looks at Mr Beast in confusion, and shoots Mr Beast, with no retaliation. The bullet bounces off Mr Beast, and lands directly inside Micheal Jackson’s heart.
A bystander walks by, and slowly turns his pupils at the dead body, and the injured Micheal Jackson. “DON’T KILL ME! PLEASE?” Mr Beast walks towards the bystander, and Micheal Jackson slowly raises his gum at Mr Beast’s head. “W-WATCH OUT!” The Bystander screamed. It was too late, and Mr Beast was shot, and the bullet bounced off again! Micheal Jackson was killed almost instantly.

2 days later…
“Hrm… This substitute is quite fine… Il sees what I can do.” MS slowly says, as he injects Micheal Jackson’s dead body with strength serum. Soon, Micheal Jackson breathes again, and his wounds heal almost instantly, and his muscles bulge like John Cena’s. “I WILL KILL HIM!” Micheal Jackson says as he wakes up from his almost-eternal slumber.

Mini Story: Big Chungus and Rival Nomento
Big Chungus was casually binging on human meat, when his rival, Big Bunny Nomento eats a large amount, much more than him.
“Hey! I bet you stole that food, dummy!” Chungus says. Nomento looks at the bunny with anger, before launching him across the stratosphere. Big Chungus responds by diving straight into Nomento, but he luckily blocks before Chungus can kill him. “I’M ABOUT TO TURN YOU INTO A FOSSILIZED CREATURE!” Chungus says, before preparing for battle.
Micheal Jackson arrives at the place where Mr Beast was, where he was now editing his latest video. “Oh, you came back?” Mr Beast says in confusion, before Micheal Jackson brutally smashes him on the wall, where Mr Beast bounces off it like butter. “You can’t kill me, so stop trying!” Mr Beast says. Micheal Jackson roars in anger, before kicking Mr Beast into outer space, where he casually sips a smoothie.
Mr Beast falls back onto earth, where his body catches fire due to the high speeds. Where he destroys the entire area where Micheal Jackson was, but he too in unscathed.
Mr Beast sighs, refusing to attack Micheal Jackson. “HEY, IL KILL YOU!!!” Micheal Jackson says, before smashing Mr Beast repeatedly, trying to kill him. “Why won’t you just die…” Micheal Jackson says, with tears in his eyes.
Mr Beast finally proceeds to inflict damage on Micheal Jackson, by using his singular finger, to send Micheal Jackson flying into the halls, causing his bones to break, and his body to bleed.
“I’m sorry, but you can’t seem to stop, so I had to kill you. Goodbye friend.” Micheal Jackson looks at Mr Beast with anger, before slowly dying in his grasp.
MS appears at the scene, clapping with joy. “You killed my genetically enhanced being. Impressive.” He pulls a case of syringes, before finally selecting one. “Micheal Jackson will be back…”
Chapter 3: Too much sugar?
Naruto’s dead body lingered in the room, but that same menacing energy filled the area.
“LET’S GET READY TO RUMBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Naruto awakens, preparing his next strike!
“W-What? Why am I here?” Naruto looks around, before walking out of the area he was in. Before landing on Micheal Jackson’s dead body.
Meanwhile, MS is preparing to make a clone of Naruto, who he still believes is dead, as he finishes, he gets a response. “Will kill target. Will get big leader man cape.” Evil Naruto has entered the scene!
Naruto screams, thinking that Micheal Jackson was brutally murdered. “WHY, WHO? HOW!” He looks at Micheal Jackson’s big muscles, and realizes that he doesn’t look like he’s decomposing, at all. He sees a fluid leaking out of him, and he proceeds to drink it. His body instantly changes, and he feels like he could destroy anything. He’d gained the powers that Micheal Jackson once had. Suddenly, Naruto hears a rumbling sound in a pile of metal, and C-12 appears, a large robot that attacks anything it sees. C-12 proceeds to launch Missiles at Naruto, which he somehow easily destroys with his bare hands, before proceeding to rip C-12 limb from limb, only leaving the head. He then swiftly runs away, and leaps onto the nearest building with surprising ease. “Man. That was quick. Didn’t know I could do that!”
Evil Naruto is sent out to retrieve Micheal Jackson’s body, and on the way, he notices Regular Naruto, looking very similar to him. “YOU THERE, STATE YOR INTENTIONS” E Naruto says. R Naruto looks at E Naruto with surprise, thinking that is it another robot. He then proceeds to rush towards E Naruto, who easily dodges all the attacks.
E Naruto swiftly back chops Naruto in the neck, before bagging him up, and heading back to MS. He walks past the area, destroying every building in sight, and every human in sight as well. He then arrives at the base, where MS works on creating a serum for Micheal Jackson.
“MS… That boy didn’t die, I found him.” He opens the bag, revealing an unconscious R Naruto, in which he slowly slumps on the floor, before waking up In shock. “AWAH!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHY AM I HERE, WHO’S THAT KID WHO BEAT ME UP?!” R Naruto exclaims, while making rapid movements due to surprise.
MS slowly walks towards R Naruto, before chaining him up swiftly, and grabbing a white syringe. And Injecting Naruto with it. R Naruto began to twitch and flicker, before closing his eyes, once a nice blue shine, now turned into evil red eyes. Evil Naruto looks around, looking at the chained up Regular Naruto, now infected.
Mini Story: Big Chungus and Rival Nomento P2.
Nomento releases a flurry of strikes against Big Chungus, ferociously beating him up, but Big Chungus responds by absorbing the attacks, and launching himself directly at Noemnto, crushing him, and allowing Big Chungus to bleed out.
He was now victorious.

Chapter 4: Infected VS Defected
Infected Naruto went back to the location he was beaten, and then searched for Micheal Jackson. When he finally arrived, he didn’t see Micheal Jackson, but instead a note, saying “I LIKE MEN.” Soon after he read the note, he was knocked unconscious.
“Hey, what should we do?” DanTDM said. Micheal swiftly chained up Infected Naruto, and signaled Dan to hand him a syringe. “I bet MS did this…” Micheal said. Dan handed Micheal a syringe, and Micheal Slowly tried to take out what Naruto was infected with, but before he could finish, the entire area was destroyed! “HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH, YOU TRIED LMAO.” Evil Naruto said, before swiftly stabbing DanTDM, and bagging them up. “I can kill you easily!” Micheal Jackson exclaimed, before charging at Evil Naruto.
Evil Naruto easily grabbed Micheal’s leg and threw him across the room. “How!” Micheal said. “Well, I’m just better than you.” Evil Naruto said. Infected Naruto soon woke up, looking at the aftermath, yet he does not speak, and swiftly slashes the chains with his bare hands.
“Great job my little Naruto!” Evil Naruto said, before leaving the area, along with Infected Naruto.
“Huff, Puff…” Micheal Jackson said, before moving away the rubble, and swiftly looking at the syringe. It had parts of the serum, so, if he injected himself with it, he would be stronger.
Meanwhile, Mr Beast is finished editing his video. Before he can click on export, his entire room is destroyed! By… C-12? That same robot killed by Naruto! C-12 swiftly tries to kill Mr Beast, but he easily breaks apart one of his repaired arms, causing C-12 to retreat, but we now know he’s still alive…
Mr Beast is annoyed that his house was destroyed, and he decided to go outside instead.
Meanwhile, Infected Naruto is demolishing cities, while polka dancing rapidly. Evil Naruto is watching by the sidelines, looking for any of Micheal’s friends.
Micheal Jackson injected himself with the syringe and is now rushing towards Evil Naruto “YOU DIE NOW!” As soon as he gets there, Micheal Jackson punches Evil Naruto in the face, launching him across the destroyed buildings. Evil Naruto begins to bleed out, huffing and puffing like Bill Mercury.
Infected Naruto is still destroying the buildings, and he has not noticed the assault. Micheal Jackson continues by destroying and battering Evil Naruto’s face, who is now fully dead. Mr Beast walks by the assault and looks at Micheal Jackson with surprise. “You’re still killing people?” Mr Beast says, while casually walking away.
Micheal Jackson was now targeting Infected Naruto, but he had left after Evil Naruto was brutally killed. So, he decided to head back to MS, where he was originally given the power to stand up to Mr Beast.
MS soon found the news, from the brain chip imbedded in Evil Naruto. MS, angered, decided to inject himself with the GOD Syringe, one that would make him extremely powerful… Enough power to destroy the universe, and to destroy those who oppose him.

MS’s muscles bulge, and he turns into a cosmic being, well, looks like one, and he is now ready to strike. Divine MS has entered the scene!

Chapter 5: Micheal Jackson, and Big Chungus
Days after the events of chapter 4 happened, Micheal Jackson decided to go to the hospital, to support the people that were injured due to Evil Naruto’s antics. While walking towards the white walls, he notices a extremely large rabbit., who is eating several chicken tenders.
“Hello? Are you seriously eating while injured?” Micheal said. The large rabbit looked at Micheal, before introducing himself. “I’m Big Chungus. I’m fine, so don’t worry about me. These dumb humans think I’m hurt!” Big Chungus rolls over, revealing a hole in his chest, that was caused due to the battle he had with Nomento.
“You have a hole in your chest, and you’re able to digest food???” Micheal said in confusion. “Yeah, it’s just how bunnies work.” Chungus said, before standing up and walking out of the room.
Micheal Jackson ignored the encounter, and prepared to leave the hospital as well…
Micheal Jackson saw Big Chungus, ripping apart a human, and eating it. Micheal Jackson immediately prepared to fight Chungus, but it was a totally different bunny. “Hey, I’m Nomento,” Nomento easily went behind Micheal, as if moving at the speed of light. “Die” Suddenly, Nomento easily knocked Micheal across the room, but it didn’t faze Micheal. “Hey, that hurt! Come on, fight like a… What are you exactly?”
Micheal Jackson rushed towards Nomento, before smashing his face into the ground, and throwing him across the city. Micheal Jackson leaped towards Nomento, and side chopped him straight into the ground. But Nomento was unfazed.
“You are weak. I will kill you.” Nomento walked towards Micheal, who was in shock. Nomento clutched Micheal’s neck and began choking him rapidly. Micheal tried to resist, but it was futile.
Suddenly, an even larger bunny arrived, it was Big Chungus! He swiftly impaled Nomento with his bare hands, and threw him into the outer space, before leaping all the way up to him, delivering multiple punches to every part of the chest.

Micheal Jackson watched in awe as Big Chungus easily defeated Nomento, the one who beat Micheal up with ease. Micheal Jackson rushed towards the fallen Nomento, before looking at Big Chungus. “How’d you do that?” Micheal said. “I’m just very strong!” Chungus responded.
Meanwhile… Infected Naruto was at MS’s laboratory.
“Hm… Good job my little experiment. Time to put you to sleep…” MS said, before walking towards his vat of Naruto clones, preparing to wreak havoc on the cites, and the entire world…
One by one, the Naruto clones went out of their respective vats, before grabbing a bag, and a few weapons, and leaving the lab.
Micheal Jackson was having a nice time, at their nearest McDonalds, with Bog Chungs eating 3 Big Macs, and Micheal Jackson trying to bend a wall with a French fry. “I can’t begin to imagine how you got that strong.” Micheal Jackson said, while accidently breaking the French fry he tried to use.
Big Chungus had a lot of training done to get as strong as he is now…

Chapter 6: THE ONE.
Big Chungus was a normal bunny, who did normal bunny things, like stick carrots up his anus. Big Chungus was just Regular Chungus, and his rival, Nomento, was also a normal bunny, who was just a few ounces bigger than him.
Nometo left the fields that Big Chungus laid, to search for more carrots to stick up Chungs’s anus. Chungus was starving, since there were no more carrots to stick his anus in. So, he resorted to EATING HUMANS. One after another, he ate humans, buckets of them. He got bigger and bigger, and gained the nickname, Big Chungus.
Once Nomento came back with carrots, it was revealed that he was the reason that the fields ran out of carrots, angering Big Chungus, and causing him to destroy half of the Earth… Nomento was surprised, and tried to fight back, but was led to the original Earth of 252, where his counterpart was rivaling Big Chungus, and where the Earth wasn’t cut in half. (This means there are 2 Big Chunguss and 2 Nomentos)
The Nomento of Earth 252 wasn’t that nice, and loved to kill random humans, not for food, but for fun. Big Chungus was the same as Earth 234 (The Earth Big Chungus destroyed half of) Big Chungus just didn’t destroy half the earth this time. That raises the question, which Big Chungus is Micheal Jackson talking to?
Meanwhile…. Someone else is…. Questionably destroying the Sears Tower…
DA HE-SC-SPY GROUP!
The group swiftly polka danced their way to the tower, before bombing it with several grade-3 tanks. “DESTROY DA BUILDING NOW!” Heavy said, before launching several nuclear missiles at the tower, and then proceeding to kill everyone near the tower using his mini gun. Meanwhile, Scout is running up the walls, placing down multiple bombs, shaped like chocolate bunnies. “Time to explode the… Can’t think of a good pun.” Scout said, before releasing the bombs, exploding half of the Sears Tower, and causing the tower to come falling.
Spy is disguising himself as a coworker for the company, swiftly killing every worker internally via his kunai from space.
BOOM! The sound of Divine MS busting into the room frightens everyone… The aura that Divine MS gives off, it’s like a thousand big macs, but scarier and tastier. Divine MS easily picks up the falling tower and launches it into space at the speed of light, leaving Spy to scream in terror as he tries to escape the tower, and he is barely able to jump out safely onto ground.
“I have created a clone of me, to work… WHILE I’M DESTROYING THIS PLANET.” Divine MS says, before swiftly picking up a piece of the ground, and throwing it at Heavy, the big guy of the DHS group. Heavy responds by destroying the rubble with his mini gun, but the rubble is too strong, and Heavy his incapacitated by the rubble, and Scout rushes towards him, trying to free him by using his ultra-fast legs.
Divine MS easily arrives behind Scout, at near light speed, before kicking Scout across the entire Earth, causing him to fall unconscious almost instantly, and leaving Heavy to stare at the chaos that unfolds…
But, Mr Beast slowly arrives, staring at the chaos, unfazed by the events. “So, you’ve created a super powerful version of yourself?” Mr Beast easily side chops Divine MS, before he can even react. Divine MS was knocked out by Mr Beast…. “Such weaklings… Well, cya later humanity!” In the blink of an eye, Mr Beast teleports away, going back to… Who knows where?
Chapter 7: The No AU Group
Micheal Jackson was unaware of the events that happened, so was Big Chungus. Da He-Sc-Spy group was luckily able to live to see another day but decided to take a break for a while. Heavy, the tank man of the group, decided to continue doing missions, as he was the only one who wasn’t knocked out by Divine MS.
“Ok, that’s it!” Scout said to Spy, “He’s left again to do another DANGEROUS mission! I don’t want our human shield to die!” Spy was too battered up to say anything, and just nodded in agreement, while slowly preparing to grab a cup of milk.
Meanwhile… Multiple Naruto’s roamed the streets, and it was unclear who the real Naruto was… All the Naruto’s prepared to destroy every building, and started killing civilians, good, and bad. And Micheal Jackson swiftly left the restaurant to deal with the situation. “I’m not letting Big Chungus take all the fame!” Micheal said, before preparing to destroy the entire batch of Naruto’s.
But…. Half of the infected Naruto’s rushed after Micheal, battering him up and ripping him apart, as he watched the other Naruto’s slowly destroy the city. Out of nowhere, the Naruto’s heads were popped off, by what seems to be Mr Beast… “You again!” Micheal Jackson said.
“I don’t know you… I don’t know anyone from here…” Mr Beast says, unaware of Michal Jackson. “But we fought! You killed me!” Micheal Jackson said, “No, this is my first time on this earth, Who are you?” Mr Beast replied. Micheal Jackson was shocked, how did Mr Beast not know the person he killed just days ago?
“Wait, I don’t have an Earth, nor a universe. I just save planets from power hungry things. I bet you have a ‘Me’ in this dimension, right?” Micheal Jackson swiftly backed away, assuming that Mr Beast was capable of interdimensional travel. “That guy, is a maniac.” Micheal Jackson whispered, before running away from the dead cloned Naruto’s.
“Wait, don’t go! I didn’t mean to scare you!” Mr Beast said, before swiftly chasing after Micheal Jackson. “I have a group of friends, who also don’t have a universe. I call it the No AU group. You should contribute to it.” Mr Beast stated, before swiftly arriving in front of Micheal Jackson out of nowhere.
“No…. You’re an idiot for thinking I’d join a group with similar people like you!” Micheal Jackson replied, and soon after, Micheal Jackson attempted to attack Mr Beast with his massive muscles. “DIE!!!!” Mr Beast was easily able to dodge the attack, and counter with a swift blow to the stomach, causing Micheal Jackson to hold up in agony.
“We used to have universes, but they were destroyed by the hands of another Mr Beast. We call him Evil Mr Beast, cause what he did was, well, evil.” Mr Beast stated, before reaching out to help Micheal Jackson. “Well, I guess every Mr Beast is insanely strong…” Micheal Jackson said quietly.
Suddenly, a group of different Mr Beast’s arrived at the scene and began to look at each other casually. Every Mr Beast began talking, before walking over to the Mr Beast interacting with Micheal Jackson. “This is the No AU group, the one I just told you about. We have to go, but we’ll meet again soon, probably.” Mr Beast walks towards his group, before teleporting off somewhere, just like Mr Beast…
“I wonder if there are groups of me?” Micheal Jackson pondered…
Heavy was on another mission and was swiftly taking care of everything in his sight. No attack affected him, and he was easily able to complete missions even while injured. Seems like a horror movie to me.
Chapter 8: Turn for the… LURK.
The real infected Naruto lie in MS’s lab, who was currently working on a big project, while Infected Naruto was leading the next batch of his clones, not being able to control his body at all. “I wish I could end this…. But I’ve just given up at this point.” Naruto thought, while mindlessly leading the batch of clones.
Heavy was on a mission, to take care of a… Peculiar assignment, which involved killing multiple enemies that looked the same, possibly clones of Naruto. “DON’T DO IT! DON’T GO ON ANOTHER MISSION!” Scout signaled. Heavy still went though, like a giga chad or smth.
The batch of Naruto’s destroyed the city thus more, killing every person in sight, and destroying every building possible. Then… DanTDM arrives at the scene. “You thought I WAS DEAD?” DanTDM said, before revealing his mechanical body. “Sadly, that dumb MS thought I was going to obey him, and he gave me this cool mechanical body too! Now, mate, Il kill all of you, and save this city!”
DanTDM swiftly launched several missiles at the Naruto’s, causing most of them to die. DanTDM then extended his mechanical arms and grabbed up a batch of Naruto’s, before destroying them by sending them flying in the air. This left about 24 Naruto’s left, who quickly fled the scene in fear of being killed. Who knew CLONES were sentient.
Quickly after, Heavy arrived at the scene, surprised to see that the situation was already resolved. “Did you seriously steal my kills?” Heavy said, before frowning sadly. “It’s the city we’re talking about! Why would I hesitate to kill clones?” DanTDM said, before swiftly leaving the area using his mechanical arms to grapple his way out.
Meanwhile, the clones are still running, swiftly hiding in halls, and climbing up buildings, before arriving at the destroyed lab DanTDM was previously. “So, clones, we have to hurry up and increase our usage of tech, so we can kill that dumb British robot guy.” A clone said, before grabbing a chunk of metal and grinding it down using another chunk of metal.
The clones agreed, and prepared to clean up the lab, and use piles of wood they found to rebuild the lab, thus creating the DanTDM lab 2.0. The clones began working and made a set of weapons that can easily cut through DanTDM’s robot material, allowing for a quick and easy kill. “Hey, I found a syringe on the floor!” One of the clones said, before picking up the syringe and throwing it at another clone. “We can use this...”
The clones began to use the metal and wood to create a liquid substance that hardens the skin for a short period of time. “If we produce this in mass, we be hardening the world with this, bruv.” A clone said, before injecting himself with the syringe, causing his skin to feel hard and heavy. One of the clones tried to punch the hardened clone, causing their hands to break. “I guess it works….” The clone said, before rubbing his arm slowly.
Day after day, the Naruto clones made even more inventions, and decided to hide their identity by using human suits and planned on stealing from MS to get even more supplies. “That dumb MS doesn’t even pay us!” A clone said, “Well, we are clones…” Another clone said. “Why is he even called MS? Is that a nickname?” The clones made a plan…
And they were gonna follow it.

Chapter 9: The reality breakers.
Micheal Jackson was in distress, after meeting multiple Mr Beast versions, and now contemplating if they are even from this earth.
“Seems like you’re questioning reality.” A mysterious figure said, slowly walking towards Micheal Jackson. “Trust me, I’ve been through worse, MUCH WORSE.” Micheal Jackson swiftly went into a battle stance, preparing to fight.
“Hey, hey! I’m not dangerous, unlike the various other people you’ve met…” The figure said, before somehow appear in front of Micheal Jackson in what seems like the speed of light. “I’m Deez Nuts. Apart of the reality breakers, don’t know why we’re called that though…. Just call me Din.” Din slowly rubs his back, before placing his hands on Micheal Jacksons shoulder.
“So, first I meet an invincible being, and now I meet you?” Micheal Jackson says in fear, before slowly backing up. “I won’t hurt you bruv, believe me. I know everything, so don’t even try to hide it. I’m powerful than that Mr Beast guy, I don’t even need to teleport, I can just move so fast, that I arrive their instantly.” Din says, before somehow arriving behind Micheal Jackson, FASTER THAN LIGHT?
“When someone questions reality, that’s when we come in. We’re there because you no longer believe we’re NOT there.” Din says. Micheal Jackson looks up, then down, and then back at Din. “I just want to eat a taco man.” Micheal Jackson says. “Ok, I need to give you some info. So, the readers can understand a bit of things.” Din says, “What readers?” Micheal Jackson replies.
“Just listen bruv. Clones of Naruto are planning on killing MS, but they’re gonna get absolutely flawlessed. Not like you need to know *wink*. The leader of the clone group is Naruto Prime, and Infected Naruto is the regular Naruto that you originally wanted to kill. Divine MS would be the original MS, any other MS you see that isn’t strong is just a clone. Just know… Il be here whenever you have questions!”
Micheal Jackson was more confused than an acorn that had been injected with several ounces of cocaine. Due to this, Micheal Jackson fell unconscious, and Din walked away, waving in the distance. (Hey, Din here. This is how il talk to you. The story is all jumbled about, and I’m the only serious character you’ll see for a while! So, when you see parentheses, just know it’s me! I’m here to make sure no one makes assumptions about the story.)
The clones went about, carefully splitting up to gain more intel on humans, and to hopefully kill MS. Naruto Prime, (The leader.), was swiftly able to store most of the hardening serum, and able to give it to most of the other Naruto clones. Naruto Prime oversaw when the serums would be used. “Hey bruv, go ahead and MOVE OUT!” Naruto Prime said to the group with it, and the group complied. The clones went to MS’s lab, which was luckily close by, hidden by a flock of birds, that Naruto Prime took care of with the hardening serum.
The clones dispatched, and went to the clone vat, revealing Infected Naruto, the person in charge of dispatching the clones. “YOU!!!!” Naruto Prime yelped, before swiftly attacking the vats of clones, and ordering the other clones to fight Infected Naruto. “Die.” Infected Naruto said, before easily knocking out half of the clones, leaving only a few left. (The clones aren’t dead.). Naruto Prime was able to run away, and bring the clones with him before Infected Naruto could do anything, but their plan had failed, and they didn’t even reach MS…

Chapter 10: The Finale? (2 pages longer lol)
Everyone conflicts with one another. Micheal Jackson needs to defeat Naruto, the clones of Naruto are fighting against Naruto and MS, and Big Chungus needs to fight Nomento. One question remains, who will win?
“Heh looks like this battered up robot is still here. How about I fix you up.” Micheal Jackson says, picking up C-12’s body, and walking towards the area where he builds stiff. Micheal Jackson adds missile launchers onto C-12, and sharp and heavy armor to keep him defended, he also adds a self-destruction button, so he can have a final comeback.
“I’m gonna kill Naruto, and MS too. Il makes sure it ends with a big explosion that you see on TV.” As the robot wires up, it begins to beep in unheard ways, and Micheal Jackson hears a big BOOM outside the workshop…
“WHY HAVE YOU DONE THIS?” Mr Beast yelps, looking at another Mr Breast, who seems to wear a pirate eye patch, along with a black suit, and looks, well, evil. Micheal Jackson goes outside, and sees the Evil Mr Beast, destroying everything with ease, and being able to harm Regular Mr Beast. It seems Evil Mr Beast is something.
Meanwhile, the clones hatch another plan, they were the creators of C-12, and used that robot to originally capture Nartuo. The clones had planned on creating another prototype, C-15. Yep, they tried to do these 2 more times, and had finally created a better robot. It came with the best AI the world could offer too! “Ok, the robot is ready to launch!” A nerdy Naruto said, before typing things on the terminal that controlled the robot.
“Do it, launch the robot!” Naruto Prime said, before swiftly ordering the other clones to guard the robot as it booted up. “C-15 at your service.” The robot said, causing the entire room to be filled with screams of happiness, the robot had finally worked.
Micheal Jackson had no choice but to grab the modified version of C-12, which he nicknamed, Scrapy, mainly because the robot seems to always get destroyed. Micheal Jackson had also improved the AI, so Scrappy should be smarter now, right? Micheal Jackson hears the commotion between Regular Mr Beast and Evil Mr Beast. Based off what he heard from the No AU group, Evil Mr Beast is going to destroy his universe…
The No AU group rushes past Micheal Jackson, with no time to talk, and they proceed to join the fight against Evil Mr Beast, while Micheal Jackson runs away in fear. If Micheal Jackson was able to kill Naruto’s evil counterpart, couldn’t he kill Mr Beasts? No, its too dangerous, Micheal Jackson wouldn’t want to die, after he just made a super powerful robot.
“Hey ol mate, why you running from the danger? I CRAVE DANGER.” Scrappy had woken up, and swiftly used his rocket powered legs to boost up towards the No AU group, forcing Micheal Jackson to run towards Scrappy, since he didn’t want to have his precious baby destroyed lol.
“So, you want to join the war efforts?” Mr Beast said, the one that’s the leader of the NAU group. “Fine, Il do it, just because my dumb robot has a death wish.” Micheal Jackson sighed, before swiftly throwing large chunks of rock at Evil Mr Beast, barely dodging his attacks, and barely able to keep up with his insane speed, that faster than Din (That’s me :D) Evil Mr Beast really is something else, but out of nowhere, Big Chungus arrives at the scene, preparing to launch his large body at Evil Mr Beast.
“Take that ya dumb knock-off!” Big Chungus screams. Despite not making a dent in Evil Mr Beast, he did gain confidence from that quick encounter. “Hey, you’re here too!” Micheal Jackson says, “Yep, I had enough time to check on you, and look what I found….” Big Chungus looks at the No AU group, and the maniac robot trying to fight Evil Mr Beast head on. Big Chungus then looks at Micheal Jackson, his friend, and the one who taught him that eating humans is well, bad.
Infected Naruto walks towards another vat of clones, preparing to strike, but suddenly, he hears a knock on the door. The door BLASTS open, and a large robot, named C-15 arrives, attack Infected Naruto while sustaining little to no damage. Naruto Prime and the other clones watch in the background as Infected Naruto is slowly being defeated.
Infected Naruto is finally killed, or it looks to be that way. The serum that lingered in Infected Naruto was now gone, and he was able to think freely again. “W-What. WAIT, WHY AM I BEING ATTACKED?” Naruto said, before getting into a battle stance. “Wait, you’re telling me you’re not going to attack us?” Naruto Prime said, “WELL YOU ATTACKED ME!” Naruto said, before running away from the robot, and Naruto Prime, and out the lab.
“Phew, got away from those weird people, who look like me for some reason.” Naruto thought, before seeing a very large hole in the ground, caused by Evil Mr Beast. “Nope.” Naruto turns back, and leaves the area, too scared to be killed, and experimented on, for the third time.
Meanwhile, the clones advance to the first floor, where MS lie.
Evil Mr Beast begins to fly up in the air, and make a literal black hole, which absorbs everything around it. “I do not understand. Just give up already!” Evil Mr Beast says, throwing the black hole at Original Mr Beast, killing him almost instantly. It almost kills the leader of the NAU group too. Scrappy is somehow still standing, and still wants to fight Evil Mr beast, despite what happened.
TripTraps Guide to the Multiverse.
I’m TripTrap, certified hunter of the Multiverse, and how about I introduce you to the encounters you just witnessed. You firstly saw a very powerful character, and you saw another powerful character die as well (Why are you here?) Shut u- I mean, of course I must be here, a very important character died! Well, it was more of which the fact that he was alive since chapter 1…. Never mind that, now that Mr Beast has died, I can finally prepare… THE TOKEN OF REVIVAL! That means, if Mr Beast is revived (For whatever reason -_-) Then Il be here to announce when this token was used! TripTrap, the reality breaker of announcement, signing off! (Can we get to the story already?)
Half of the NAU group rush towards Evil Mr Beast, and for all their efforts, a bit of damage was done of Evil Mr Beast, just a little tiny scar on the face, its microscopically big. It’s still damage though! Big Chungus decides to run away, who wants to face a black hole?
The clones head towards MS and use the robot to beat him up with ease, as he’s not in divine form at all. “W-What? How?” MS says in fear, before getting brutally mashed open, mangled, and then thrown out by C-15. “That’s how you kill an evil scientist!” Naruto Prime says, before heading back out the lab, and towards the clones.
“Hey! We did it, I killed MS!” Suddenly, Divine MS appears behind Naruto Prime… “Oh, did you now? Good job for defeating my clone.” Divine MS easily decapitates Naruto Prime with just a flick of the finger, and he menacingly walks towards the clones. (Are you serious? Wait, it seems Naruto Prime wasn’t too important of a character, meh.)
Chapter 11: Chicken Bobby.
The NAU group are still fighting Evil Mr Beast, and Micheal Jackson and Scrappy have already left, due to unknown reasons. The leader of the NAU group, named Mr Beast Prime, orders the other Mr Beast’s to retreat, as Mr Beast Prime will fight off Evil Mr Beast by himself.
“Are you seriously facing me? After I killed the other Mr Beast?” Evil Mr Beast responds, before swiftly punching Mr Beast Prime across the room, “Never Fear, Chicken Bobby is here!” Suddenly, a humanoid chicken punches out Evil Mr Besst, and despite doing no damage, it doesn’t seem like he is doing any damage either.
“A chicken? Seriously?” Evil Mr Beast tries to attack Chicken Bobby, but nothing happens to him, not even a scratch. Mr Beast Prime swiftly grabs Chicken Bobby, and holds him at a, well, “Chicken Shield?”, before swiftly attacking Evil Mr Beast using Chicken Bobby’s very hard skin, or, well, tenderness….
“I don’t mind, use me as a weapon!” Chicken Bobby says, before going into an even harder state, allowing Mr Beast Prime to somewhat damage Evil Mr Beast. “AHHHHH! LEAVE ME ALONE!” Evil Mr Beast flies away, throwing another large black hole, directly at Earth. Chicken Bobby begins to stretch out and widen, turning into a large shield, and blocking the earth from the black hole, somehow surviving it.
Mr Beast Prime is shocked, and runs away, thinking about what that being could possibly be. It may not be able to do that much damage, but it sure is durable! Evil Mr Beast grins, before running off, to who knows where…
Meanwhile, the clones must face Divine MS. “Hey, I don’t want to die!” A clone said, before swiftly running away, but easily being killed by Divine MS, and one by one, the clones are killed…. Expect one clone that is, who managed to hide among the dead body of the clone MS, and is lying there, faking death. (We’ll call him Naruto Prime 2) Divine MS had no comments to make, other than “Weak…”, and Divine MS swiftly went away, jumping at light speeds.
“Oh no you don’t!” Mr Beast Prime says, holding his Chicken Bat (Who is Chicken Bobby) high up in the air. “You dare try to stop me?” Divine MS says. But Mr Beast Prime easily knocks out Divine MS with his Chicken Bat, launching him high up in the air instantly.
Naruto Prime 2 saw this and rushed towards Mr Beast Prime. “Hey, can I come with you?” Naruto Prime 2 says, before swiftly resting inside Mr Beast Prime’s bag, softly sleeping almost instantaneously. Mr Beast Prime had seen weirder, and therefore went along with it, putting his Chicken Bat in his weapon holster, and grabbing Divine MS’s body.
Mr Beast had died, the one who had been prominent for defeating the big and the bad, and now a new Mr Beast enters the scene, Mr Beast Prime, and his fights against Evil Mr Beast. The Arc between Micheal Jackson and Naruto, have officially ended…
Well, time to add some filler!
“So, I’m Chicken Bobby, and I was brought here to make random dialogue to end this chapter quickly, so, Il tell you more about me. I can shapeshift into anything, and I am the hardest object in the multiverse, or so I’m told… I also, well, ok, I can’t think on anything else to say. Ok, let’s end this this chapter NOW!”

Chapter 3: The Nightmare Made Flesh
The full moon cast an eerie glow over the quiet streets of Willowbrook as Sheriff Ethan Blackwood patrolled the town, his eyes scanning the shadows for any sign of the creature that had been terrorizing the community. The past few days had been a waking nightmare – the brutal attacks, the mounting fear, the desperate search for answers. And now, with the revelation of the glowing eyes and otherworldly growl that Deputy Sarah Harding had witnessed in the woods, Ethan couldn't shake the feeling that they were dealing with something far beyond their understanding.
As he turned onto a deserted side street, a sudden movement caught his eye. Ethan slammed on the brakes, his heart pounding as he peered into the darkness. There, illuminated in the harsh glare of his headlights, stood a figure that defied all reason and sanity.
It was humanoid in shape, but there was nothing human about the creature that loomed before him. Standing at nearly six and a half feet tall, it had a bipedal stance that was uncannily human, but its body was a grotesque parody of the human form. Its limbs were elongated and disproportionate, with a hunched, unnatural posture that spoke of a twisted, inhuman anatomy.
The creature's skin was a sickly grayish-brown, mottled with patches of dark, coarse hair that sprouted in uneven clumps across its body. Its face was a nightmarish fusion of human and bestial features, with sunken, feral eyes that glowed an eerie yellow in the darkness. Its nose was flattened and broad, with large, flaring nostrils that twitched and quivered as it caught Ethan's scent. And its mouth...its mouth was a jagged maw filled with misshapen teeth that protruded at odd angles, giving it a perpetual, horrifying snarl.
As Ethan watched in mute horror, the creature began to change before his eyes. Its body convulsed and twitched, bones snapping and reshaping beneath its skin. Flesh rippled and bulged as muscles grew and shifted, and the sickening sound of tearing skin filled the air as the beast's form stretched and contorted into something even more monstrous.
The creature's arms elongated into long, spindly limbs that ended in gnarled, clawed hands, almost human in appearance but tipped with wickedly sharp talons. Its legs grew more powerful, more canine, with digitigrade feet that looked capable of propelling it forward with terrifying speed and agility.
And through it all, the creature's eyes never left Ethan's, burning with a malevolent intelligence that spoke of a human mind trapped within a monstrous form.
Ethan sat frozen, his mind reeling with the sheer wrongness of the thing before him. This was no animal, no mere beast. It was an abomination, a perversion of nature itself.
Then suddenly the creature threw back its head and let out a howl that shook Ethan to his very core – a sound of pure, unleashed bloodlust and fury. Then, with a speed that defied belief, it lunged forward, its jaws snapping and its claws outstretched.
Ethan barely had time to react, throwing the car into reverse and slamming on the gas. The tires screeched as he careened backwards, desperate to put distance between himself and the nightmare made flesh. In the rearview mirror, he caught a glimpse of the creature bounding after him, its powerful legs eating up the ground with terrifying speed.
Ethan's hands shook as he fumbled for the radio, his voice cracking as he called for backup. He knew how it would sound, knew the disbelief and terror his words would inspire. But he had no choice. The people of Willowbrook were in mortal danger, and it was his sworn duty to protect them.
Even if it meant facing down a monster straight out of humanity's darkest nightmares.
As he waited for his deputies to arrive, Ethan's mind raced with questions. What was this creature? Where had it come from? And most importantly...how could they hope to stop it?
He didn't have the answers. But one thing was clear.
The hunt was on.
And this time, the prey was a twisted fusion of man and beast, a creature of fang and claw and insatiable hunger.
Ethan took a deep breath, his hand tightening on his gun. He didn't know what horrors the coming days would bring, what nightmares they would have to confront.
But he knew one thing.
He would not rest until the streets of Willowbrook were safe once more.
Until the creature lay dead at his feet, and the long night of terror was finally over.
No matter the cost, he would see this through to the bitter end.
For the sake of his town, his people.
And for the memory of all those lost to the beast's savage hunger.

I noticed it on febuary still here until now.
Before noticing it , I had experience sudden forehead pressure, Nose bridge pressure, random toothache that last for seconds. Facial pain cheeksbone & chin. & Right Ear pain.
Then after noticing my lump on neck.
I sudden experience on & off Left ear pain/ earache
Sudden Vibration inside my legs, It feels like Blood Rushing Feeling, Then Days Later It spreads on my hands. My legs and Hands are Shaking everyday now. Whenever I do an activity, Or even holding a phone. hands slightly shaking. Legs too.
On & Off Left Neck Tightness muscle like pulled muscle
Sudden Left Thigh Pain & Right Thigh Pain
Right Ear ringing Sometimes
I had chronic allergies/sinus so i've been suffering from sneezing a lot everyday & runny nose/stuffy nose everyday. Sometimes when i sniff, my mucus/snot will go to my throat
Btw im anemic too i have low iron. i have history of anemia in my family.
And ofcourse im dumb for googling my lump it's SAYS ITS A BIG C Since IT's on my Left side :(
I'm have extreme health anxiety.
Ofcourse when i found a lump in my neck. I had sudden breakdown, I cried all night, I panic.

Had a small tear behind my trochlea, doctor did a MF in sept 2023. My quad shut down and took 2-3 months to get to straight leg raises after surgery. Lots of quad muscle atrophy (25% loss) and got patellar tendonapthy. New mri shows defect filled with fibro cartilage but functionally i am in a weird place where walking for miles is painfree, biking is painfree, squatting with body weight is slightly painful (2/10), isometric holds hurt (3/10) and running is not possible, knee feels unstable. Leg extension is painful (5/10) Should i keep rehabing or is it time to look at MACI? What does a successful MF look like? I am 45M, fit - 18% body fat

This is going to be a long post but whatever, some doctors think i do, others dont, others are confused as shit and when i ask if i have hEDS they go ‘well no?’ And then when i ask ‘so i domt have hEDS?’ And they go ‘well no you do, you have hypermobile syndrome’ (trying to translate best i can, in portuguese its confusing. They say no to hEDS but also say no to not having it)
Anyways here some are my syproms, id appreciate your thoughts and shit and if i should contimue trying to figure this out or not. Its going to be another 8 months before i can dream of seeing a specialist so yeah. Thanks a lot. I removed the pics because its a lot of pics and i guess you guys get the gyst of it

• Hyper mobility/unknown conective tissue disorder related symptoms:
  • Blood pooling (picture inserts bellow)
  • 7/9 beightons scale
  • Meeting the 2017 diagnostic criteria (1, 2b, 2c, 3)
  • Skin writing
  • Popping joints back into place
  • Semi loss of bladder control leading to a few incidents and going to the bathroom up to 10x a day
  • Extreme muscle fatigue in my joints leading to severe nerve pain and muscle spasms that have lead me to uncontrollably bash my knees against tables, jerk my arms and throw pencils across rooms or to the floor and then searing nerve pain that makes my muscle feel as if its on fire
  • Either feeling constipated or having dhiarea with no aparent reason
  • POTS partly caused veins not being able to constrict due to lax conective tissue which then causes nausea and even with medication because my heart isnt beating as fast i still get light headed and blood pressure drops
  • Research on the conection between POTS and conective tissue disorders such as EDS for reference:
    • https://www.standinguptopots.org/EDS
    • https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7282488/
    • https://normalyte.com/blogs/news/the-eds-pots-connection
    • https://connect.mayoclinic.org/blog/ehlers-danlos-syndrome/newsfeed-post/eds-and-pots/
  • Orthostatic intolerance due to veins not being able to constrict and control blood flow leading to blood pooling and pre syncope
  • Getting bruised extremly easily, a light bump can cause a bruise and i find random bruises with no cause
  • Extreme joint and muscle pain
  • Severe joint instability that keeps progressing despite 4 years of physical therapy and 1 year of clinical pilates
  • Feeling like holding my head up properly is extremly painful for prolonged periods of time (an hour) aswell as back pain despite proper posture and excercise.
  • Joint subluxations
    • Elbows (worried about it progressing to a full dislocation)
    • Hips
    • Lumbar spine
    • Knees
    • Ankles
    • Finger tips
    • Wrists
    • Thumbs
    • Jaw
  • Easily rolling ankles
  • Knee pain and subluxations when walking and primarily climbing up stairs
  • Ankle rolling constantly multiple times a day when walking
  • Constant heart burn
  • Having trouble swallowing food which is being looked into by my gi as an issue caused by my conective tissue not working properly and making swallowing difficult
  • Constant joint clicking and having to manualy pull and fix a variety of joints on a monthly basis and most notibly during strength and stretching exercises in clinical pilates especially with my knees and elbows
  • Yoga mats having in good condition having caused a scar that lasted up to 2 weeks pretty visibly (pictures bellow from day 1 to week 2
  • Scars taking a long time to heal
  • Easily irritated skin (pictures bellow, example of what happens after i take of my braces despite using lotion and leggings to ptotect my skin)
  • Stretch marks without any weight growth or loss
  • Inflamed joints when waking up
  • Shin splints
  • Choking while drinking water Or breathing
  • Struggling with swallowing (GI doc thinks its related to hypermobility and lax conective tissue)
  • Having odd and unussual reactions to medication such as it not affecting me or having weird side effects such as medication of sleeping waking me up or
  • Chronic widespread pain related to fatigue, muscle exhaustion, joint instability
  • Chronic insomnia since childhood caused a lot by discomfort while sleeping because my shoulders keep going to far and it hurts but i cant keep them in place and my neck hurts and no pillow or position helps releive the pressure
  • Foot papules
  • Blue sclera
  • Teeth overcrowding
  • Slightly narrow pallet
  • ribs popping in and out of place
  • needing to move my throat around because it keeps getting stuck and uncomfortable
  • possible cci

So yeah give me your opinions please, would really appreciate it thank youuuuu

This is a bit of a vent, but I gotta get it off my shoulder cause I'm huffing and puffing around my apartment pissed off.
I'm 5.5 weeks PO for Hamstring ACL graft. My recovery has been going well and I've been hitting all my benchmarks in PT, got my extension down to 0-2 degrees depending on the day.
I haven't been sleeping to well still, and I've been putting a lot of time in at the gym, so I know I'm overtired. Had an extra hard PT session on Thursday and Iasked my PT about off days, and he suggested Itake Friday off. It was great. I rested for the whole day, got a decent night sleep, and woke up rested this morning.
I go this evening to get in a gym session, do the stationary bike, and all my PT exercises. Bike is great, hit it for 20 minutes and feel loose. Then I lay down to do my single leg extension and I've got nothing, cant get my leg extended, cant fire my quad, just nothing. So I stretch stretch stretch, get the extension close to flat, but not fully, and go about my exercises. Single leg heel raise, barely. et cetera.
And it just sucked. It felt like I reverted back 3 weeks. Sluggish, heavy leg.
I can't tell if my off day was bad like I lost my newly learned muscle memory, or it's just a fluky thing I gotta get used to where some days my extension is gonna not extend.
Anyways, that's my Saturday night rant.
TLDR I went to the gym after an off day, and I couldn't do shit, so I'm whining about it.

I’m interested to hear everyone’s most and least favourite exercises in the gym - and why?
I’ll go first:
MOST FAVOURITE - chest press (dumbbell or barbell) and tricep extension (dumbbell). For some reason I really enjoy the soreness the next day in my chest/triceps, and the feeling of pushing through the last couple of reps!
LEAST FAVOURITE - squats, 100% without a doubt. I am pretty tall (177cm/5’10) and naturally very lean but with little muscle strength, particularly in my legs/glutes (my family describes my body shape AND coordination as that of a baby giraffe). I find squats super frustrating because I just cannot get my form right, and I feel like I never make good progress on them. I’m focussing on building strength with leg presses and other glute exercises in the meantime, but I just fkn hate squats lol.

“The room feels cold as ice creeps into my veins. Nothing seems to make sense as my vision blurs and swirls into a cacophony of blues and golds. ‘Oli? Oli are you alright?!’ I think I hear someone call out to me as my body goes limp and plops onto the scratchy carpet flooring. I can’t seem to recognize who it is that’s speaking though. I go to a world that’s devoid of darkness and lacks nothing but fear. It’s a strange sense of belonging I really strive for after feeling left alone for so long.”
“What is this feeling of loneliness?” Dr. Andrews asks after sitting through my two pages of drivel. “Well when you asked me to put myself into a story I figured it wouldn’t do me any good to leave things out.” “I appreciate that, it helps me understand what’s on your mind more clearly. I think it’s important to dissect this as we go and possibly focus on individual concerns as we progress.” He was looking over his large clear framed glasses as he picked my brain. It feels like that too. “I think the break up still has a lot to do with it. I haven’t felt quite like me since. I sometimes go through half the day when I finally realize I haven’t spoken a single word. When I do go to say something the voice I hear isn’t mine. I mean, it’s me but it doesn’t sound right to my ears. Like repeating the word porridge or square over and over. Eventually they don’t even feel like real words. That’s how my whole world has felt lately.”
“The end of a relationship can be a very draining experience. It’s perfectly okay to allow yourself to feel through it as you need to.” I let out a slight scoff. “It ‘feels’ like I need to let myself stop feeling for a while.” Doc looks down at his notes and scribbles something else down in there, I’d love to see all of those, find out how twisted and fucked he really thinks I am. “How about the notion of a world full of everything but fear?” “Well I used to think there’s only two real emotions. Love and fear. They both push people to the farthest of ledges and sometimes even can make them jump off. I say used to because I get now that those are just the extremes. There’s a spectrum in between those two things still. That terrifies me. I think a world where we get rid of one would be a lot simpler.”
That damn pencil scribbles something on the page again. I’m not sure if I should hate that or the man holding it. He looks up and calmly begins the conversation again, “I think it’d be much more meaningless as well. With nothing to fear maybe there’d be nothing to love? With no sadness nothing to be joyful towards.” “Yeah, and maybe I’d finally be able to just exist.” “I don’t think you’re giving yourself enough credit. You exist here, proof of that being the fear you feel. If you have that then that means the other side of the scale is waiting for you too.” It makes me angry that what he’s saying makes so much damn sense. Even angrier that he’s using my logic against me to solidify that.
“So what do I do?” I really do want to know the answer to this, but don’t really expect a clear one. “Give yourself up.” He states clearly and smoothly. “I wasn’t expecting a guide book but what is that supposed to mean?” “If you don’t feel like you, maybe you should give that up and find who you are. Are you chasing something that isn’t yours to chase? There are other options.” This feels like a solid departure from the usual, he’s never been so concise with his advice. It had always felt open ended before. “Did you have something in mind? It kinda seems like you do.” He pushes his glasses up on his face as he lets out a hefty chuckle, “Who’s supposed to be reading people here? Me or you?” I’m not feeling right here, this is nothing like the manner he’d carried for our 3 months of sessions before. “I do actually have a slight suggestion. It’s not what I recommend often but I think you’d be a perfect candidate for it.”
He stands up and moves over to the cabinet that sits below the painting of a ship on a rolling ocean and the monstrous creature trying to swallow it into the depths. He pulls some keys out of his pocket and jiggles them into place. Once inside he muddles through some prescription bottles and tonics. Reaching into the far back to grab a single vial colored pale blue. He brings it with him back to his seat and crosses his legs, “This may help.” He twists open the vial and removes a single tablet. Reaching over he drops it into my hand. It’s slightly warm to the touch, it doesn’t really look like a tablet holding it up close. Almost like a small stone or scale. It’s jagged and more of a misshapen oval. Shimmering gold with the sunlight streaming in from the window behind me.
“Yeah, okay. What is this?” I ask with obvious amounts of skepticism. “It’s an experimental treatment I’ve been shown recently. I actually took it myself. One time and you’ll see the world you want to see.” “Right.. So what is this like a fancy new mushroom?” “Something like that.” He says with no clear expression on. “I mean, alright, can’t make things any worse right?” I pop the pearl-like piece into my mouth and swallow it dry. Almost immediately it makes me feel warm from the inside out. Swarmed with a sense of euphoria and bliss I haven’t felt for a long time. The colors in the room seem to shift. Everything gets brighter and starts swimming in front of my eyes. The portrait of the sea began to actually tread along and the tentacled beast succeeds in pulling in its prey. The walls smile at me like old friends and greet me in tongues I shouldn’t be able to understand. Sunlight warms me from behind while love warms me from inside. It’s here I finally ask myself, love for what? “What did you just give me?” I sort of slur out, I don’t sound right to myself. “Something to open your mind and your heart to the world beyond and a glimpse of what it offers. Only the glimpse is all you’ll be able to see.”
When he says this the sun behind me goes cold, sending a shiver through my body. I hear the window shatter and what seems to be the writhing of something coming inside. My muscles won’t respond as I’m trying to scream at them to turn around. All I can see is Doc standing before falling to his knees and bowing his head. The room feels cold as ice creeps into my veins. Nothing seems to make sense as my vision blurs and swirls into a cacophony of blues and golds. ‘Oli? Oli are you alright?!’ I think I hear someone call out to me as my body goes limp and plops onto the scratchy carpet flooring. Why can’t I remember that voice?

So after doing leg day my right knee pictured feels a little warm. No real pain but definitely some warmth that lasts a full day. It also has a small amount of pain when I go up stairs but I'm working to strengthen it to improve the pain. My doctor told me that the tendons were weak and all the jiggling around of my kneecap was causing the discomfort. He recommended weightlifting. That stairs pain is unrelated to exercise and not the point of this post.
However it's been 5 months of going to the gym 3 times a week or more and my knees still look different. I was hoping they'd look more similar and feel similar after lifting by now. You can see that the right knee cap sticks out a bit from my joint. That might be lack of muscle, or smalleweaker tendons, I don't know. That's why I'm posting.
What do you guys think? My left knee has never had any pain. Right knee stairs pain has improved since I began exercising but the heat after each session has me worried I could have a chronic problem in the future if I'm doing something wrong now. Either that or maybe just inflamed tendons which wouldn't be so bad.
What do you think?

26 Male 6’1 200 lbs
I’m in shape, fit, and exercise and eat well regularly. No drugs, no alcohol (only socially once in a blue moon).
I recently got diagnosed with a C5-C6 spinal hernia after ive been living with excruciating pain for the last year and my doctor dismissing me for “Anxiety”. I went in one day and basically told the Doc I want a fucking CT scan now. After the CT I got my diagnosis. Anyways… Last night I noticed that my right calf is numb.
I touch it and it feels like I’m touching someone else’s calf, but strangely when I pinch it I can feel the pain, it’s as if the muscle inside is numb and the numbness is radiating to the outside.
Today it feels like there’s pressure in there, the numbness remains. I went to gym and worked out normally, I have no weakness in my arms or legs nor my affected calf. When sitting down I noticed a “vibration” shooting from my calf down to my ankle, no pain, just a tingly vibration. Imagine how your stomach gurgles when you’re hungry, but in my calf.
Anyways, I fell into the Google trap and now I’m worried about MS and a whole bunch of other crap, knowing that it doesn’t even run in my family.
Given my history, physical condition, and my diagnosis of herniated disk, can any physician please tell me what this numbness may be caused by? Is it the hernia or another underlying condition that warrants a visit to the GP?
Thank you
TLDR; Diagnosed with spinal herniated disk, feeling numbness in my right calf for the last two days, and would like to know if that’s related to the hernia or something else that I need to go get checked

So I’m 100lbs down and I’m in new territory in terms of being an adult at this weight, so I wasn’t sure what I’d look like.
As a 5’10” F at 150lbs my thighs have gotten, what I can only describe as sinewy. I almost have complete thigh gap and there is this crease on the outer front of my thighs when I walk or flex. I’m guessing it’s the indentation between muscles.
However, I’m still a size 8 with a lower belly pooch, so it’s not like I’m super thin.
The look of my legs is starting to freak me out. It’s like, do I need to worry about this? Is this normal? Am I doing too much thigh strength training?
My mom has always had super tiny legs and a round tummy so I’m guessing that’s just my body shape, but hopefully my legs just don’t keep getting thinner before my belly disappears.
I tried to google celebrities to see if anyone else has this, but I only see it on people way way thinner than me like Sarah Jessica Parker.

Roughly a month ago after excessive alcohol consumption I realized my hangover symptoms weren't normal.. Clammy skin, cotton in the brain, heart palpitations, and dysphagia. The last two were unique and especially the dysphagia was completely new. Every second or third word if I wasn't extremely focused would come out slurred. While at work this freaked me out, a lot. I managed to get myself together in the second half of my shift and most of my symptoms went away. I suddenly had energy again and didn't feel like I was thinking through molasses.
Fast forward over the next 4-5 weeks I would experience new symptoms, typically trailing heavy drinking days. The cotton in the brain, trouble swallowing (full-blown dysphagia hasn't happened again so far), heart palpitations and general weird body and mind feelings..
I only drink on weekends, but lately I have been putting away some serious alcohol compared to past practice. I haven't been doing this consistently for years, I typically take breaks such as observing dry January. I have no doubt my recent scare involves some alcohol withdrawal, but I believe it also lead straight into an almost 48 hour long panic or anxiety attack.
Before 5 weeks ago I considered myself someone that mostly became anxious in normal and appropriate times to do so. However, I have been reaching a substantial amount of stress lately.. Things not done, new experiences on the horizon, not following through with healthier practices, etc..
Now then onto my most recent experience, Wednesday was day 3 of heavy drinking. I think I would sum up maybe 5,000-6,000ml of 8% beer on Wednesday alone. I woke up still a little intoxicated, my fitbit clocked 5-6hrs of sleep. I proceed to work where I develop some of the previous symptoms as I sober up: Clammy skin, trouble swallowing, confusion/cotton brain, heart palpitations, shortness of breath. After I make it off-shift 10 hours later I start to feel a bit better. I make it home, and I take some recently prescribed hydroxyzine. (I visited Urgent Care a week prior for help with some of these symptoms, the doctor didn't ask nor did I volunteer my drinking habits. He was however convinced I was suffering from panic or anxiety attacks.)
After taking 25mg and trying for some much needed sleep I begin to go into an episode of fear, maybe even dread. All of my previous symptoms return including some new ones: Chills, Hot Flashes, Muscle Spasms, Restless Legs, Twitching, Insomnia. I got about 1 hour of sleep Thursday Night. Every attempt was met by jerking awake the second I entered sleep.. like having a door shut in your face. The worst symptoms showed up after my attempt at sleep. A rising feeling in my stomach like being on a rollercoaster that would travel up my body but stop around my chest area, sudden onset of intense fatigue or a wave of cotton-brain, and an uncontrollable feeling in my throat and jaw that I can't seem to describe.
These symptoms continued pretty consistently for 48 hours. I did get 3 hours of sleep on the second night. I did not go to the hospital. I decided on the third day if they persisted I would go to the ER. So far most symptoms have tapered down to become non-existent or very minimal. I do still get a smaller rising sensation in my stomach anytime I panic, such as thinking about if I'll be able to sleep tonight, etc..
I came here to tell this story but also to ask if anyone has experienced these scarier symptoms during a panic or anxiety attack. I have stopped the sauce for now, and classic Google is telling me that my symptoms can be anything from dehydration to epilepsy.
I am brand new to panic/anxiety disorders. Apologies for the long read.

So I was on Sertraline between 2015-16 and came off after experiencing what doctors diagnosed as Bipolar but since I've realised was just a one-off episode resembling certain manic traits (delusions/overvalued ideas, decreased need for sleep, overspending etc). I've never had any hypomanic/manic episodes outside of Sertraline.
I came off it at 150mg cold turkey because I couldn't handle these and other side-effects. No psychiatrist commented on the risks of going cold turkey either. Going cold turkey was definitely stupid looking back but I was 16/17 at the time.
I watched a documentary last year - Panorama: The Antidepressant Story where a psychiatrist, Dr Mark Horowitz was talking about protracted withdrawals especially in terms of SSRIs and how you're not supposed to stop them cold turkey. I've seen other doctors online also talk about this. A lot of the things discussed in the doc (Agoraphobia, panic attacks, dissociation, symptoms resembling mania, leg tremors, muscle rigidity etc) I've experienced since 2015.
What can Sertraline protracted withdrawals look like? and Could they last this long.
Sorry if this sounds like a stupid question, but if you don't ask you don't know.

"Princess, please remain close to me now, these woods are dangerous. Infested with goblins."
Anastasia, second captain of the royal guard, was an impressive woman any day of the week, large, with broad shoulders, muscular arms and legs. But now, in full plate armor, her helmet hiding half her face, which warm, friendly expression normally helped to ease her martial experience, and im combination with her wide hips and chest had led to her soldiers giving her the respectfull nickname "Momma bear", she looked outright terrifing.
"But surely, you three are more than a match for any goblin we might encounter?", the princesses best friend, the Lady Kyra asked with an amused puff and waved at the three guards accompaning the two highborn girls.
She was wearing a beautiful blue dress, tight on her curvy upper body, but flowy past her hips. She sat elegantly and with thr confidence of any young highborn woman who spent more time in the sidesaddle ontop her horse, than in her studies. Her long flowy dark hair in perfect curls as always, her slighty tanned skin just above what would be considered appropriate for a nobelwoman who didn't have to work the fields.
"Aye, a single goblin is not a threat, Mylady, but they tend not to come alone", the second guard Athena chimed in.
Younger and less massive than Anastasia, she was still a force to be reckoned with, with an athletic body, tight and lean, though not without a decent amount of muscle. Her bronzed skin almost matched the color of the bronze-armour her knightly order was famous for still using, even after Steel having become wildly known and wildly used, her short black hair matching the Lady Kyra.
She gestured towards the woods. "There are probably a dozen of goblins in those woods, just waiting to swarm unsuspecting, ill prepared victims. They attsck always in huge groups. Since a single goblin would barely reach to my chest and weigh less than half of me, a single one would be easily overpowered. Also, since they are sneaky by nature, the don't attack in the open, prefering to ambush they victims."
"Are... are you sure we are save to enter this forrest at all? Shouldn't we circle around it?" The princess asked, guiding her horse - maybe instinctively - closer to Anastasias. The princess` looks stood in stark contrast to her best friend. Where Kyras was curvy, the princess was petite, her hair - though as long as Kyra - was red and straight with only a very light natural curl. Also, while she wore a wide green dress matching her eye color, the dress was so flowy, she could ride a normal saddle - something her mother - the Queen - had insisted on she learned, due to the possibility of needing "to ride for real" like her mother had called it. But with her pale porcelain skin, the high cheekbones, the full red lips and those big, round eyes she was without a doubt one of the greatest beauties in the realm.
"We will be safe, my princess" the big woman calmed her down, reaching for her and putting her heavy plate-gauntlet on the young womans shoulder. "We are on our guard and heavily armed. I doubt they will pick a fight 12 on three. It would be suicide for them.“ As if to stress her words, she reached for her sword and loosened it it its scabbered, with Athena following her example.

Medea, the third member of the small group of guard, who had fallen back slightly previously to check up on a trail, caught up to the other four women. Her gorgeous face was radiating, her joy lighting up an already great day. Clearly, the woman who had been a huntress not long ago, reveled in being out in nature, and not locked in a castle of stone. In contrast to the other guards, she didn´t wear plate armour, but instead leather armour with metal scales fixed onto it. Also, she was significantly smaller than the other two women. Shooting her heavy bow had given her muscular shoulders and back, as well as toned arms, but also her legs and butt were very well trained, looking even bigger, considering the woman was barely 5 feet. Her short brown hair was only be kept together by a single leather-headband. On her saddle hang a bow and on her back a big knife.
„I have never been to these woods myself“, she explained. „But I have heared gruesome tales of more than one unfortunate woman who went into them unprepared and was ravaged and massacred by goblins. And not necessarily in that order“, she remarked, as she let her eyes wander over the trees right in front of the small group.
„Enough!“ Anastasia cut her of, as she saw the princesses face getting even paler.
Medea raised a hand in aknowledgement. While she was a very capable warrior, she was still new to the demands of appropriate behaviour around noblewomen.

The shadow of the big leaf trees fell over the five women, as they followed the path into the wood. The path itself was well maintaned, with the plentiful undergrowth of the forrest having been cut away. It was a nice, peacefull atmosphere. The big trees to both sides of the road gently swayed in a gentle breeze, their branches forming a dome-like ceiling over the path, birds chirping, and several small animals to the side of the road to be seen.

Suddenly, Kyras horse, a beautiful white stallion, started to prance, and whicker. „Keep him calm, Mylady!“ Anastasia ordered and looked around on high alert. Kyra pulled on her horses rains and struggled to stay on top of him, as he clearly tried to break out, making a jump sidewards and buckling, almost throwing her of. „I can´t! Damn, he is going crazy!“, she squealed, fear creaping in her voice just as much as pure surprise, since her well trained Hose normally never acted that way. Than, the stallion reared, and jumped, loudhly neighing forward and ran along the path, before he took a small gap between trees and dissapeared into the undergrowth, his rider screaming curses, though clearly not less scared than angry.
„Gods be damned. Medea! After her!“, Anastasia commanded and drew her sword. She reached for the princesses horse and grabbed the rains. „Stay close, your highness!“ The princess, scared, clang to her horse and didn´t even dare thinking about going anywhere.

Medea spured her horse on and galloped after the girl, whose screams they could still hear in the distance. „I am coming Mylady!“ The small woman yelled out, as the horse jumped of the road into the woods, where Kyra had dissapeared.

Athena drew her sword as well and gestured towards a small forrest clearing a bit further ahead and to the left – the opposite side to where Kyra and Medea had dissapeared to.
„We should get of the path, we are sitting ducks here!“ she shouted.

Anastasia nodded in agreement and the three galloped onto the forrest clearing.

Hi everyone,
I wanted to share with you my response to the introduction found in the only edition of Use of the Self currently in print. I believe it's a rather misleading intro to FM Alexander's work, so I'm sharing this in the hope that I can help clear up misconceptions people may have about the Alexander Technique, not derived only from Anthony Kingsley, but many bland blog posts one tends to encounter when researching the Alexander Technique. That said, this is not intended to be an introduction of its own, but rather something experienced students, teachers, and anyone enthusiastically learning the Technique may find useful. In the tradition of Alexander himself, I've included extensive footnotes, some painfully long. I'm happy to answer any questions or otherwise discuss what I've written. Understand these are my own interpretations and opinions about what some call "the work," so take them as you will. I've taken lessons for a number of years and currently am training as a teacher, so my view of the Technique is based on these experiences, as well as my interpretations of Alexander's writings. Some of these interpretations you may object to, but I hope you find my arguments reasonable.
Response to Anthony Kingsley's Introduction to The Use of the Self
The Use of the Self may be FM Alexander's most important work, since it contains his own account of how he developed what is now called the Alexander Technique. While Alexander's other volumes are available from Mouritz, the only edition of The Use of the Self currently in print is published by Orion Spring. This edition replaces the philosopher John Dewey's introduction—which praises the technique's "genuinely scientific character"—with one by the contemporary teacher Anthony Kingsley, who is heralded on the book's front cover as a "leading Alexander Technique teacher." Therefore it is probable that many readers' first impressions of the Alexander Technique will be framed by Mr. Kingsley's opinions. I submit this is problematic, since his introduction is in my view contradictory to fundamental principles of the Alexander Technique. I write this response to address the introduction's two most dire faults: Kingsley's misrepresentation of the concepts inhibition and direction, and his dismissal of the concept of the primary control. I'll begin with the second, since it is a more straightforward error.
Primary Control
Kingsley opens his paragraphs on the primary control with the opinion that the concept should be "recast," then describes Alexander's definition of the primary control as a "particular relationship of his head, neck and back [that] acted as a master reflex that conditioned his whole organism." Then he discards this definition, claiming the head-neck-back relativity should instead be "regarded as an indicator[sic] of overall health rather than an area considered in isolation." He concedes the "region of the neck and back is a [...] barometer of our state of being," but concludes that "no single element is actually primary," since our eyes, breath, digestive system, and all other psychophysical elements are "simultaneous and interdependent" and also like barometers. Finally, he reveals his "recast" of the primary control, defining it as "the unknown and unseen self-righting and self-healing mechanism that can be restored and vitalized."
In sum, Mr. Kingsley has presented the primary control—which Alexander wrote extensively about and considered central to his technique—with an ill-defined mystical force which, accordingly, Alexander must have unwittingly stumbled upon and mistaken for a certain relativity of the head, neck and back.
Ironically, it is in The Use of the Self where Alexander wrote of discovering the necessity to first free his neck in seeking a better condition for his vocal apparatus, since that was the sine qua non of taking his head forward and up, of widening the back, and so forth, which are in turn the necessary conditions of freedom and stability in the limbs. This is the genesis of Alexander's use of the word "primary" in describing the head-neck-back relationship, and in my experience, as in Alexander's, it holds true: the sequence of directions given to oneself matters greatly, since tense feet, for example, can hardly flatten on the floor if the head is taken back and down, whereas the head can be taken "forward and up"1 to a fine degree even if there is tension in the lower extremities, particularly while sitting. Further, and maybe most significantly, the relativity of the head-neck-back rarely need change during any manner of activity, whereas the arms and legs are constantly bending, rising, stretching, and so on. Small wonder Alexander considered this relativity primary.
Of course, Kingsley is not wrong to point out the interdependence of all processes in the body. It is certainly true that undue tension in the feet creates a downward pull on the head, neck and back. Yet what is crucial to understand here is that in the context of learning and teaching the Alexander Technique, the primary control is an indispensable concept. It instructs the pupil to guide his or her attention through the body in the sequence most fit to facilitate proper relativity of all the parts, and it names succinctly that natural, visible, dynamic yet enduring relativity of the head, neck and back observable in little children and animals as well as many great musicians and athletes. Thus Kingsley discards a practical concept in favor of a truism about "interdependence;" and so we come to his second, graver error.
Direction
Here it begins to seem that what Kingsley writes of in his introduction is not the Alexander Technique at all, but in fact the Kingsley Technique, since he has redefined not only the primary control, but two other conceptual pillars of the technique: inhibition and direction.
First, he takes aim at direction, neglecting to elucidate Alexander's own definition of the concept before setting out the axiom that "aiming for postural improvements using postural directions leads to a bodymind[sic] attitude of effort and trying, which simply reinforces the problem." Dismissing as superfluous all "ideas and images about heads, necks and backs," he declares that "the trying[sic] self is the obstacle, and the shift towards a non-trying[sic] self is the solution." Finally, he offers his own definition of the directions as "the natural flow of energy and vibrancy that exists within the organism," directions which are interfered with "when we are in a condition of stress and reactivity."
Here, again, Kingsley takes a practical concept which Alexander developed based on careful observation of his own muscular action, and replaces it with a kind of mystical or spiritual phenomenon which, implicitly, only the initiated can perceive.2 Thus the famous directions are not, as Alexander described repeatedly, a series of mental orders or intentions projected to oneself before and during muscular activity along lines one has reasoned out in advance, but a "natural flow of energy and vibrancy"—just as the primary control is not, as Alexander saw it, a concrete, observable relativity of the head, neck and back, but an "unknown and unseen self-righting and self-healing mechanism." These pseudo-spiritual definitions do a massive disservice to neophyte readers, and reveal Kingsley's muddled seeing in relation to the central problem addressed by the Alexander Technique: how to shed habit and coordinate the bodymind through reasoned conception and conscious awareness.
But for a moment let us leave aside direction, since a subtler and more misleading error still lurks in Kingsley's presentation: his dismissal of conception itself. He explicitly warns that "ideas, concepts and cognitive efforts reinforce the very mental instrument that is the problem in the first place," he advises us to simply trust that "the prevention or inhibition[sic] of reaction, maintains or liberates this stream of energy [or direction] in the body."
To understand Kingsley's error, we must return to Alexander. In Man's Supreme Inheritance, Alexander sets out four stages to the "performance of any muscular action by conscious guidance and control:"

1. The conception of the movement required;
2. The inhibition of erroneous preconceived ideas which subconsciously suggest the manner in which the movement or series of movements should be performed;
3. The new and conscious mental orders which will set in motion the muscular mechanism essential to the correct performance of the action;
4. The movements (contractions and expansions) of the muscles which carry out the mental orders.

Alexander considered "conception of the movement required" the very first stage in his technique, to precede even inhibition. Thus he made clear, if indirectly, that in the context of his technique, clear conception is essential to achieving a desired end. Incidentally, this is a fact any competent artist can attest to; if a composition is not unambiguously understood and organized within one's memory, it cannot be brought to fruition. Even the most simple act, such as extending one's arm to grasp a nearby object, requires a detailed conception of distance, weight, strength, and so forth; if the object turns out to be heavier than expected, the conception of these variables and their relation to one another, and hence the muscular action, must change. This is direction in action, albeit subconscious.
Yet Kingsley belittles conception, instead leaning on concepts like "ease," "letting go" "acceptance," and the like. He is not alone in this among teachers, but in my opinion, they overlook the influence of what Alexander termed "erroneous beliefs," a concept closely related to that of "unreliable sensory appreciation." Both could be read in the spiritual lexicon alongside "letting go," etc.; but that would place their referent outside the realm of what words and concepts can describe. On the contrary, Alexander was pointing to something concrete and empirically observable: to errors of spatio-motor perception able to be observed phenomenologically and in other people's behavior; not to transcendent truths about observation itself. Thus the classic example of an Alexandrian "erroneous belief" is a person who raises their arm and believes their shoulder has remained still when it has not. The key for the pupil in this instance is to gain an accurate conception5 of their own muscular action, in reference to bodily sensations; not to simply "let go" or "do nothing."3 And this conception must come about through active tutelage—e.g. Alexander Technique lessons—or, dare I say, the way Alexander himself did it: by reasoned experimentation, conceiving hypotheses based on careful register and analysis of his own sensations, and also by watching the behavior of others. John Dewey called the technique scientific for a reason.
All of this is not to understate the importance of concepts like "release" and "effortlessness," including in the context of the Alexander Technique. Seeing more or less what is meant by them is doubtless the key to mastery of all activities, all practices, all techniques. Yet those spiritual concepts should not blot out the very concrete technique Alexander developed for improving what he called "the use of the self:" that coordination of the muscular system, achieved through conscious reason, which influences for better or worse the functioning of the whole organism.4
Inhibition
So much for direction. What about inhibition? Under the heading "Inhibition and Non-Doing," Kingsley describes Alexander's understanding of inhibition as "an artificial pause between stimulus and reaction," after which he could "give directions to himself." Then he lays down the gauntlet, stating that in the "real world […] life does not offer us the choice to inhibit:" since according to neuroscience research, "neural reactions take milliseconds and are faster than conscious thought processes." In other words, "we either react to the stimulus, or not." So, with inhibition proven impossible, Kingsley is left with no choice but to "reformulate" another of Alexander's concepts, offering us a supposedly scientifically enlightened6 view that inhibition is really "a quality of non-doing[sic] that needs to be already available in the organism before the receipt of a stimulus." This is "a way of being[sic] rather than a way of doing[sic]."
This Kingsleyan inhibition turns out to be the essence of the technique, since it is this very "condition of non-doing[sic]" the teacher is supposed to transmit, through a touch Kingsley describes as "a dance of poetry and a symphony of silence." With it, the teacher imparts a "deep sense of acceptance" by which "change emerges in the pupil."7 He goes on to compare the Alexander Technique to "Zen Buddhism, mindfulness and the philosophy of non-duality," identifying the uniqueness of the Alexander Technique in "the transmission of immediate experience." In fact, there is no Alexander Technique as such, but only inhibition:
The Chinese Tao has a concept of Wu Wei[sic], which translates as surrendering to the effortless flow of life[sic], or non-doing[sic] action. Ultimately, the Alexander Technique needs to reinvent itself and relinquish the Technique. The Alexander Teacher really teaches nothing[sic!]. But this nothing or emptiness is in fact the deepest essence of being and the fullness of life. Like grace, it drops onto us and into us when the conditions are ripe.
The problem is that Alexander's own writings indicate that inhibition is not a "quality," a "condition," or a "surrendering to the effortless flow of life." On the contrary, according to Universal Constant in Living, it is "the act of refusing to respond to the primary desire to gain an end, [which] becomes the act of responding (volitionary act) to the conscious reasoned desire to employ the means whereby that end may be gained." As clear as day: inhibition is an action in response to the stimulus of conscious desire: a conscious, continuing refusal to do a thing the way one normally does it. Alexander saw that this inhibitory act had to precede in every instance any attempt to change his habits. Everyone is well familiar with the inhibitory act. The act of not indulging an immediate desire, however small, is it. So, inhibition is not an "artificial pause," but a phenomenologically observable process within the organism, a process that can be made habitual through practice. It is no more abstract and transcendent than blinking or moving one's finger.7
Here Kingsley again takes something ordinary and concrete and makes it mystical, going so far as to "relinquish the Technique." The trouble is that there is a good reason the Alexander Technique came to be known as such. A technique is a skillful way of doing something; a mental tool; a procedure. Ways of doing can be found everywhere: techniques for dance, for romance, for healing, even for attaining nirvana or enlightenment. Each has a goal in mind and is based on what worked in the past; each resorts to concepts to explain itself; each prescribes action, or doing something a certain way. Yet Kingsley dismisses the idea of doing anything at all. Equating the Alexander Technique with "nothing," he tosses out the concepts Alexander spent decades refining, when Alexander's genius was precisely to conceive a useful, coherent way of doing things through patient observation of the phenomena he termed inhibition, direction, primary control, and the rest.
So, the technique may encompass all the acts of living, but it is still a technique. Alexander often used the term "procedure" to describe it, and I think procedure is as apt a word as any to describe the application of his technique to the acts of living. He constantly stressed the technique's sequential, stepwise nature and recorded countless practical examples of it in action, both in hypotheticals and accounts of lessons. The technique is not a metaphysics or a philosophy like non-duality; it is a practical procedure with a clear purpose: restoring
advantageous, natural relativity of the head, neck and back.
Conclusion
The technique is blindingly simple but surprisingly subtle and difficult to master; and, as far as I am aware, it is unique. Unfortunately, Kingsley is not alone in overlooking the uniqueness and subtleties of the technique in favor of spiritual truisms and platitudes. I suspect there are two main reasons for this.
The first is the tendency of serious pupils of the technique to become more open to "spirituality," both philosophically (e.g. non-duality) and in terms of sadhana (e.g. meditation, yoga, self-inquiry). Many are enthusiastic about the similarities between the Alexander Technique and, for example, mindfulness practice. It is certainly true that the technique requires the pupil to have some degree of "mindfulness," or the ability to realize when the mind has wandered; and it is also true that a few people who devote themselves to the technique come upon some of the same insights one might find in spiritual practice. Yet spiritual insight is not the purpose of the technique. In my opinion, the Alexander Technique is a relative of energy practices such as Hatha yoga, qigong, and TRE (trauma release exercises). Such techniques are often used in tandem with spiritual practices meant for the cultivation of insight, but their purpose has traditionally been preparatory and salutary, not "spiritual." One need not stray too esoteric to encounter the idea that the real goal of spirituality has nothing to do with "ways of doing." On the other hand, Qigong explicitly aims to regulate qi in the body; kundalini yoga is concerned with the flow of prana; the Alexander Technique seeks to restore the good use of the primary control. More practically, the technique teaches mental discipline, and ultimately the ability of the nervous system to regulate itself. Such a practice may lay the groundwork for spiritual realization, but it is by no means indistinguishable from it.
While there is no point speculating about Alexander's private insights, one thing can be certain: he left us a definite procedure with a practical, concrete purpose—not a transcendental one. Yet Kingsley's introduction continually implies the Alexander Technique is an essentially spiritual practice with heavenly fruit. Disparaging the core concepts that constitute the Alexander Technique, he invites us instead to simply "surrender," "let go in faith," and blindly trust that its real essence—nothing less than Wu Wei—will be transmitted through the "rare, "unconditional" touch of the teacher.
The second, more obvious reason Alexander has been so misunderstood is that he rarely wrote concisely, and in any case, recognition and conception of the primary control can never be refined through words, but only through unfamiliar sensory experiences—either reasoned out, as Alexander did, or in the hands of a good teacher. Hence there is more than a kernel of truth to Kingsley's view of the "supreme value of guidance with the hands;" yet I differ from him in that I insist the Alexander Technique cannot be divorced from intellectual understanding and, indeed, conception.
The Use of the Self and Alexander's other works certainly were not without their flaws, but at their best they illuminate concepts which are nuanced, rich, and useful when applied. Primary control, direction and inhibition are three such concepts. Whatever their flaws, Alexander's books point the way to a wonderful technique, and they deserve thoughtful, probing introductions like Dewey's—not dismissals.
1 Like many other Alexandrian terms, the concrete meaning of "forward and up" seems incredibly controversial among Alexander Technique teachers. While I conceive it roughly as freedom of the atlanto-occipital joint, the term cannot be understood in isolation from the rest of the parts—namely, from one's conception of the primary control. It seems to experience it, one must discover it, as Alexander did, or be shown it by a teacher.
2 This is not to say there are not phenomena only some people perceive.
3An overemphasis on "letting go" and the like obscures the fact that Alexander always described the technique as consisting of stages or sequential steps, which in my opinion constitute the "means whereby" he wrote of.
4 "Use of the self" is another problematic term. Related to the concept of "good form" and "good technique" among athletes and musicians, it refers essentially to coordination of the musculature along reasoned lines, which is not separate from conception of the primary control. Equal and opposite is the term "misuse," since one's idea of misuse depends on one's idea of good use. Different teachers understand the term differently. Kingsley states that "bodily tensions and distortions become fixed and reinforced as we react to the general stimuli of living." True enough. Yet he goes on to imply it is associated only with fear, anxiety and distress. Again he couples this concept to the language of contemporary spirituality, trumpeting that it "alienates us from our own true nature." This is to completely ignore the point Alexander returned to again and again in his own writing: that the use of the self is inextricably linked with conception. No doubt, tension and imbalance are very often inextricable from fear. But there may be another class of misuse: one based on misconceptions about the body, unexamined movement patterns from childhood which have little or nothing to do with manifestations of stress or emotions in the body. I suspect one may experience profound psychophysical quietude yet still tend to throw their head back and down in relation to their neck and back, especially in movement.
5Kingsley writes that the teacher's touch indicates the "negation of trying and doing within the pupil." Even a token mention of guidance viz. the relativity of the body parts is nowhere to be found. Yet in my opinion this discussion of touch is misleading, since nothing like it can be found at all in Alexander's writings. On the contrary, Alexander stressed that the teacher's role was to demonstrate manually the proper relativity of the pupil's parts, with the means whereby of the technique; not to transmit "a way of being," nor indeed enlightenment or gnosis.
6 Neuroscientific findings relating to will and volition have proliferated in recent years. They may raise fundamental questions about the nature of self and will, but in my opinion they have little to do with the Alexander Technique, no more than they do with dancing or playing an instrument. If there are really recognizable activities Alexander termed "inhibition" and "direction," then his writings are timeless, since they speak from direct observation and experiment, not philosophy about "free will" and the like.
7 In spiritual literature one encounters, almost universally, the idea that there is no "doer" of action, or no "doer" but God. Hence Kingsley is implying that Alexandrian inhibition is somehow related to this concept, which Buddha famously summarized: "Events happen, deeds are done, but there is no doer thereof." In my opinion, the Alexander Technique has nothing more to do with this than does reading, writing, or playing a game. There may be "procedures followed, but no follower thereof."

I've had lower back pain for the last 2 months now, and I was feeling a bit of numbing on my legs, but nothing major, these last 4 days, things have gone to absolutely agony, I don't know what happened, I did not do any sudden moves or lift anything heavy, both of my legs, but especially my left egg next to the penis area have been in extreme pain, I haven't been able to sleep due to this.
Today it got so bad I went to a pharmacy and had a voltaren nsaid shot, 75mg 3ml. It's been about 4 hours now and I don't really feel a difference. It the first nsaid shot I've ever taken
Why aren't anti inflammatory/muscle relaxants working? What kind of pain is this? I suspect it has to do with nerves and sciatica, btw, the lower back pain is not really bothering me right now, it's like the pain shifted slowly to my legs
Any thoughts?

For some context, I have severe anxiety when it comes to needles and medical procedures. I've had an IUD before and it took 3 attempts to get it. First time was just regular with my doctor, and I passed out causing my body to go limp and my legs falling off the exam table. Second was with a gyno who tried numbing me first which caused me to pass out. Third time was finally done under anesthesia. After the 5 years was up, I tried everything under the sun and was getting too many side effects so I decided to try the IUD again.
I was given 2mg of ativan for my appt tomorrow but I was still anxious. During the appointment she found a polyp on the opening of my cervix that needed to be removed which hurt so much. She froze the area and managed to get it off, but it was still very painful. I ended up tapping out after that and she agreed due to the fact I started to hyperventilate and all my muscles were very tense. She's now refering me to a speciality clinic that can help people with high anxiety like me. After she finished up I just started to cry and I've been crying on and off all day yesterday and today. I was never this upset the other times and I didn't even faint with this attempt.
Why am I so emotional? Am I just somewhat traumatized? Am I coming down from the ativan? The realization that if I can't handle a simple procedure like that i likely won't be able to have children? Or is it just normal to be sad and emotional after having your cervix poked and proded at?

I feel like I've always had lower back pain on and off ever since I experienced (what I thought was) a pulled muscle when I was around 17 while rowing. I'm 35 now, and the pain this year has been so bad at times that it would wake me up, and spread to my left buttock and leg.
I had to stop my running routine. I decided to get it checked. Turns out I have DDD and bulges/herniation at L5-S1 and L4-L5 which is tugging on a few of my nerves. The spine DR pointed out that due to bone growth on top of one of the bulges it seems that I've already experienced herniation in the past... I'm guessing 18 years ago.
I'm currently on daily Ibuprofen and doing regular PT stretches, foam rolling, and exercises. The pain is bothering me, is on and off, but I'm trying to see if PT helps. I have a toddler and another one on the way, so reducing lifting or prolonged rest is not really an option.
I have more X-rays and surgical consult scheduled, and I'm also considering steroid injections. I've been reading stories about microdiscectomy and ADR here, and I'm trying to judge if this is something for me to undertake.
Anyone experienced something similar? Any stories about the pain going away through PT and exercise alone? I don't want it to get worse and I would like to "fix" it (yes, I know it might not be that simple, but I want to find the best option for me).
Attaching a bunch of MRI and DR results.
https://preview.redd.it/9oeld5p7n91d1.png?width=1292&format=png&auto=webp&s=8a8bf68e5a4cd384a7dbf0e033b87a1a23c70295
https://preview.redd.it/lsj4n4p7n91d1.png?width=3096&format=png&auto=webp&s=36a220d0d856bd83af0b72ac299acc13847daec4
https://preview.redd.it/8xp035p7n91d1.png?width=3028&format=png&auto=webp&s=524bed01c0a00612ca1e0a4fb296ea920f30a177

Narrative MRI LUMBAR SPINE WITHOUT CONTRAST ** HISTORY **: 35 years old, worsening chronic low back pain. ** TECHNIQUE **: MR images of the lumbar spine acquired without intravenous contrast. COMPARISON: None available. ** FINDINGS **: NUMBERING: Last fully formed disc space is designated L5-S1. SPINAL CORD: Normal conus. Conus terminates at the L1 level. DISCS: Multilevel disc dessication at L4-L5 and L5-S1. BONES: Normal vertebral alignment. Normal vertebral body height. Marrow signal is normal. SOFT TISSUES: Normal. T12-L1: No canal or foraminal stenosis. L1-L2: No canal or foraminal stenosis. L2-L3: No canal or foraminal stenosis. L3-L4: No canal or foraminal stenosis. Mild facet arthropathy bilaterally. L4-L5: Left asymmetric lateral disc bulge causing mild left neural foramen stenosis. Mild facet arthropathy bilaterally. L5-S1: Left asymmetric disc protrusion effacing the left lateral recess and compressing on the left S1 nerve root. No significant central canal stenosis or neural foramen stenosis. Mild facet arthropathy bilaterally. OTHER: None. 

Narrative MRI LUMBAR SPINE WITHOUT CONTRAST ** HISTORY **: 35 years old, worsening chronic low back pain. ** TECHNIQUE **: MR images of the lumbar spine acquired without intravenous contrast. COMPARISON: None available. ** FINDINGS **: NUMBERING: Last fully formed disc space is designated L5-S1. SPINAL CORD: Normal conus. Conus terminates at the L1 level. DISCS: Multilevel disc dessication at L4-L5 and L5-S1. BONES: Normal vertebral alignment. Normal vertebral body height. Marrow signal is normal. SOFT TISSUES: Normal. T12-L1: No canal or foraminal stenosis. L1-L2: No canal or foraminal stenosis. L2-L3: No canal or foraminal stenosis. L3-L4: No canal or foraminal stenosis. Mild facet arthropathy bilaterally. L4-L5: Left asymmetric lateral disc bulge causing mild left neural foramen stenosis. Mild facet arthropathy bilaterally. L5-S1: Left asymmetric disc protrusion effacing the left lateral recess and compressing on the left S1 nerve root. No significant central canal stenosis or neural foramen stenosis. Mild facet arthropathy bilaterally. OTHER: None.