These are the kind of places that are more targeted towards upper middle class soccer moms who don't know anything about cars and will pay whatever overpriced quote they're given
Because if you look at these places they don't even work on custom parts aftermarket parts and they don't let you bring your own cars because the majority of their money doesn't come from the labor like a normal mechanic it comes from overcharging by a massive amount for the parts and that's why you can only get them through them..
A $50 part they'll easily charge you $200. I've had quotes from places like that charging over $1,000 to replace a rear control arm
And if you know anything about cars you would know that that's a ridiculous price
And also don't go to them for your alignments either.. A lot of these places offer cheap alignments or lifetime alignments where you pay once and you can get an unlimited number of alignments but the catch is that they don't do a very good job. The alignment tax either don't know or are usually too lazy to do it correctly. Where they miss or even skip important steps. They usually don't even check the tire pressure before starting which already means that the alignment readings would be off
They do a quick one two on the screws and they only adjust the toe until it's "close enough" and then they send you on your way
If your car is still pulling they'll just tell you that's how it's supposed to be which is not true. As an actual alignment attack I can tell you that that's not how you do it. You would be better off going to a real alignment shop because they will take the time to actually get it right. They will make sure that they do the readings right such as pressing down on the brake pedal when turning the steering wheel so that the caster and camber readings are off. They will adjust more than just the tow and when they do adjust it they will make sure to get the numbers exact not "close enough"
That's what I meant when it said to be targeting middle-class soccer moms.. these places motto is "It's close enough and they'll never know the difference""
These places are a rip off and the only reason they get business is because they work very hard to make themselves convenient..
Open later than most places open on the weekends and hiring enough people that you won't have to drop your car off for a week
That's the only thing. The rest was just a rip off
If you need work done on your car you're better off going to a local mechanic and reading the reviews and they will do it better and cheaper
And if you need an alignment you basically get what you pay for and you're better off going to a REAL alignment shop with actual professional techs I will do it properly and get it exact rather than just trying to get you in and out of the door as quickly as possible..

These are the kind of places that are more targeted towards upper middle class soccer moms who don't know anything about cars and will pay whatever overpriced quote they're given
Because if you look at these places they don't even work on custom parts aftermarket parts and they don't let you bring your own cars because the majority of their money doesn't come from the labor like a normal mechanic it comes from overcharging by a massive amount for the parts and that's why you can only get them through them..
A $50 part they'll easily charge you $200. I've had quotes from places like that charging over $1,000 to replace a rear control arm
And if you know anything about cars you would know that that's a ridiculous price
And also don't go to them for your alignments either.. A lot of these places offer cheap alignments or lifetime alignments where you pay once and you can get an unlimited number of alignments but the catch is that they don't do a very good job. The alignment tax either don't know or are usually too lazy to do it correctly. Where they miss or even skip important steps. They usually don't even check the tire pressure before starting which already means that the alignment readings would be off
They do a quick one two on the screws and they only adjust the toe until it's "close enough" and then they send you on your way
If your car is still pulling they'll just tell you that's how it's supposed to be which is not true. As an actual alignment attack I can tell you that that's not how you do it. You would be better off going to a real alignment shop because they will take the time to actually get it right. They will make sure that they do the readings right such as pressing down on the brake pedal when turning the steering wheel so that the caster and camber readings are off. They will adjust more than just the tow and when they do adjust it they will make sure to get the numbers exact not "close enough"
That's what I meant when it said to be targeting middle-class soccer moms.. these places motto is "It's close enough and they'll never know the difference""
These places are a rip off and the only reason they get business is because they work very hard to make themselves convenient..
Open later than most places open on the weekends and hiring enough people that you won't have to drop your car off for a week
That's the only thing. The rest was just a rip off
If you need work done on your car you're better off going to a local mechanic and reading the reviews and they will do it better and cheaper
And if you need an alignment you basically get what you pay for and you're better off going to a REAL alignment shop with actual professional techs I will do it properly and get it exact rather than just trying to get you in and out of the door as quickly as possible..

Welcome ordained to the final discussion of Scythe by Neal Shusterman!! For those who wish to recount all past entries in our journey please check out the schedule and marginalia. Now chose your weapon of choice and prepare yourselves for this final discussion of Scythe.
Summary: Chapter 32 Troubled Pilgrimage Citra changes several publicars every sixty mins to avoid detection. She also wears Tonist clothes avoiding guards, Curie’s note has instructed Citra to travel to Buenos Aries and then travel across Amazonia by train where she will be free from capture. While at the Buenos Aries train station she avoids the guards by blending into a group of Tonists while holding her breath ( nice multi tasking) to avoid her DNA from being detected. While in the trains restroom a Scythe enters and declares Citra has been chosen for gleaning. Citra states she is a scythe’s apprentice; Scythe Possuelo tells her to follow him for safety since he knows she is the one the guards are looking for. They are confronted by a scythe however, Scythe Possuelo informs the Scythe they have crossed the Amazonia border and any Scythe must register prior to crossing the boarder. The scythe is unable to capture Citra and she is able to escape. Citra journeys the beach house Gerald Van Der Gans and sees a man. She shoots him in the knee caps and upon reaching him she realizes that the man is Faraday! Chapter 33 Both the Messenger and the Message: Citra carries Faraday into the home and apologizes for harming him. Faraday reveals that Gerald Van Der Gans was his birth name. Faraday wants to know why she is there, indicating that he is not aware what has happened to her. He reveals his intentions were to free Citra and Rowan. Citra tells Faraday all that has happened. Curie is the only person who knows he is alive. He tells her to heal and rest and that in the morning and that he will test her on poison knowledge since she is still his apprentice. Chapter 34 The Second Most Painful Thing You’ll Ever Have to Do: In his eight months of training Rowan has killed thousands of live targets and has exceeded Goddard's expectations. Rowan has come to enjoy killing and hates himself for it. Rowan has heard of Citra’s disappearance but knows nothing of the whole story. During these months Citra is cleared of all wrong doing; Goddard enraged by this decision takes his team on another mass gleaning at a harvest festival. Goddard rages because he cannot kill more and wishes the quote would be removed for scythes. Citra returns from her time in Amazonia and is met at the airport by scythe Curie. She informs Citra of her cleared status, but Citra states she will not forget how she was forced to run and hide . We learn Citra did train with Faraday, and that the winter concave is to occur. Scythe Curie again mentions how Citra will have to glean Rowan and that they must ensure Citra passes. Curie mentions that the Scythedom is in peril now that a movement to eliminate quotas is gaining steam, and Curie believes Rowan is too far gone due to Scythe Goddard’s training. Citra says that she does not know if she’ll be able to glean Rowan. Curies tells her: “It will be the second most painful thing you’ll ever do” Chapter 35 Obliteration is our hallmark The winter Conclave is three days away and Scythe Goddard decides he will lead another mass gleaning. Rowan is confused since they have already met their quota; however, Goddard insists it won’t matter. Scythe Volta tries to reassure Rowan, but Goddard reveals that Rowan will be allowed to glean today. Any of Rowan’s gleanings will be placed under Scythe Goddard's numbers. The group lands in a soccer field and make their way to a Tonist cloister. Rowan is asked to glean any who try to escape the front gate. He attempts to help some to escape but none do while he remains at the gate, so he leaves his post. He hears the sounds of the massacre and finds a woman and a child, he convinces her to escape while she has a chance. Going further in the compound he sees Scythe Volta crying and covered in blood. Volta revels he entered a room and discovered it was a classroom full of children, and he proceeded to glean all within the classroom. This lead to Volta cutting his own wrists in order to glean himself. Volta tells Rowan his real name is Shawn Dobson and that he wishes Rowan will be a better scythe than he was. Rowan promises Shawn he will be a better Scythe and Shawn succumbs to his wounds. 36 The Thirteenth Kill: Scythe Godard holds a lone survivor in the chapel of the Tonists awaiting Rowan to glean the man. Rowan rejects this and informs Scythe Godard that Volta has gleamed himself. Godard is not surprised and says Volta was weak and that Rowan will take his place. Rowan refuses calling Scythe Godard is a monster, but Godard says that Rowan they are the predators and all those not Scythes others are their prey. Rowan realizes that the reason he was allowed to glean all but one person was in preparation for this day. Rowan strikes at his target which turns out to be Scythe Goddard, he stabs him and cuts his head off which lands in the bowl of the disease water. Rowan also takes Scthe Godard’s ring. Scythe Chomsky and Rand witness the aftermath and attempt to attack Rowan. Rowan kills both Scythes. The Tonist surviour offers to help Rowan escape, but Rowan refuses him finding that he enjoyed killing the Scythes. Rowan takes Chomsky’s flamethrower and begins to burn down the building. Rowan leaves in Scythe Goddard’s ropes and tells the fire crew not to intervene with the burning; he even threatens the chief when challenged and has the chief kiss Goddard’s ring. With the burning allowed to continue all of the fallen scythes burn with no chance of revival. Chapter 37 Shaking the Tree Xenocrates and Rowan meet at the mansion Goddard occupied and discuss what happened at the Tonist Colister. Rowan tells Xenocrates that Cheomsky’s use of the flamethrower caused the deaths of the Scythes and his station at the front gate prevented him from saving them. Xenocrates states that flamethrowers shall be removed as a weapon. Rowan speculates he will be disqualified from the final test thanks to his bad luck of being around Scythes who die. Xenocrates informs Rowan that he will take the final test that evening prior to the start of the winter Conclave. Xenocrates hopes Rowan shall become ordained and glean Crita ending the complications started by Goddard. Xenocrates mentions finding the bodies of all but Goddard though they suspect the have found his body without a head or his ring and robes. Also a rumor has emerged that a Scythe ordered the fire not be put out though the videos cannot confirm. Esme is brought before Xenocrates and Rowan mentions how she should be brought back to her mother. Xenocrates impies the investigation will cease to continue and Rowan states “Let the dead be dead”. Xenocrates concurs and takes Emsa away knowing his secret daughter remains hidden. Chapter 38 The Final Test Citra and Scythe Curie are in their way to the capital. Curie tells Citra that the final test will be that night. She tells Citra it is the same every year and is done alone. Citra tries to gather information, but Curie refuses to tell her any more details. Citra learns she will be last and that three others will perform the final test before her. Citra thinks she hears a gunshot while waiting. Soon she is summoned to a room with five Scythes. Citra recognizes Sythes Mandela and Meir, but not the other three. The table has several weapons and the Scythes tell her that the final test is for her to perform a glean in front of them. It is revealed that she has been given a unique subject for her demonstration. A person is shown to be tied to a chair and a bag over their head. It is reveled her subject will be her brother Ben. One of the Scythes brings a box of papers for which weapon she must use to glean her brother. Citra is angered due to having to glean her brother despite him being revived since both will remember this moment. The weapon selected is a knife, and she is told nothing else will ever be more difficult than this; she will be completely prepared to become a scythe if she completes this test. Taking the knife Citra returns to Ben and cuts him free. She explains to him what she must do and that he will be revived after. Ben asks to see the knife which she allows him to hold. He asks if there will be ice cream at the revival center which she says yes. Citra has Ben state what kind of ice cream he will want and while he recites it she stabs Ben and gently lays him to the ground after he dies. The scythes debate her performance and she is told she will learn of the results tomorrow. Citra leaves the room and yells at Curie for not warning her, but Curie informs Citra that if there was a hint she knew the test she would have been disqualified. Citra asks about the other candidates and learns two failed, and Rowan drew the pistol and shot his subject before the Scthes could finish their instructions. Citra wonders if Rowan is truly no longer the same person. Chapter 39 Winter Conclave: At midnight immuniry for both Citra and d Rowan has ended. Rowan enters the capital wearing black. Rowan sees several scythes avoid him while others seem to give him praise. Citra becomes annoyed hearing all discussion of the four dead scythes rather than the dead Tonists gleaned. Curie tells Citra she hopes Citra if ordained will stay with her as a junior scythe which Citra states she intends to. Rowan enters and Curie tells Citra to not look or speak or look at him since it will make this day easier. Rowan is afraid to die, but he reflects how quickly he gleaned his mother during his final test and is horrified how much he has changed. Rowan decides if he wins because will refuse to glean Citra and glean as many Scythes he can. Citra reflects if she is ordained she will not defie the edict, but has a plan that may save the two of them. After debate over removing fire as a weapon is passed Xenocrates calls Citra and Rowan forward to determine who shall be ordained. Chapter 40 The Ordained: Citra and Rowan great each other but are told not to speak. Scythe Mandela proceeds to announce the ordained which turns out to be Citra. This garners much applause and Rowan realizes without Goddard he had little chance of entering the Scythedom. Rowan congratulates Citra. After this she recieves her rign and announces her Scythe name to be Anastasia after the youngest member of the Romanov family. Xenocrates says the name is inappropriate since the Romanovs were known for excess and Anastasia did nothing of note. Citra agees stating “She was the product of a corrupt system, and because of that—was denied her very life—as I almost was” Citra declares she will change the way the name is remembered which leads to Curie giving her a standing ovation along with the other Scythe’s. With this Rowan is prepared to be gleaned by Citra. She chooses a blade, and prior to his gleaning she punches Rowan in the face for breaking her neck. As she is about to glean him the Parliamentarian stops her upon seeing her ring which shows Rowan has immunity. Blood from Rowan had gotten on her ring after she punched him giving him immunity. Xenocrates accuses her of betrayal however, she states she intended to glean him, but the Parliamentarin stopped her prior to her completing the task. Rowan is amazed how she is a genius and while the Scythe's debate on how to imprison Rowan Citra tells him to escape to the East exit where a car awaits him. Rowan tells Citra he loves her which she says “same here now get lost”. Rowan takes several blades and fights his way out. When he finds the car Faraday is in the drivers seat awaiting to escape. Citra looks to her ring which is covered in Rowan’s blood and kisses it. Later Scythe Anastasia writes that there is a rumor of a person burning corrupted Scythes around the world. The public has dubbed him Scythe Lucifer. In her journal Anastasia writes “If ever Scythe Lucifer comes my way, I hope he’ll see me as one of the good ones. The way he once did”

Dear Mr. Tyler Scheid,
Lately you have been SEVERELY LACKING. Think, for just one moment. Think back to the Skeleton episode when your boisterous squire Mark was bellyaching about your thorough description of measurements and materials. The diminutive fellow observed that there must be someone, at least one person in the audience who deeply appreciates your inclusion of such detail. It is me; I am him.
The famous quote goes, "If you build it, he will come." I have committed a preposterous amount of resources to perfectly replicate each court, field, and stadium described to me by the iconic duo of sport experts. If I am diligent, disciplined, and dedicated to my duty then one day he will arrive. Mr. Scheide himself will appear at my domicile, walking straight through the closed front door, shattering it into uncountable splinters. He will speak.
"Monsieur Skidmark, I have come here today to play with your balls."
This is going to happen. It simply must. My greatest fear is that the day you arrive, you will find my sports equipment to be inadequate, and it will be ALL YOUR FAULT! On your path from one arena to the next, you will see my creations. A pristinely trimmed cricket field. A wonderfully structured icy skeleton track. An outstanding rink for mud-slathered hockey players, and a perfect tennis court with a gold-plated sniper tower. Elite teams of soulless homunculus athletes, grown in tubes and raised in accordance with the sports parenting episode. All are built to your exact instructions with just the right materials, but it cannot all be so. Where are the MEASUREMENTS? WHAT ARE THE MATERIALS? I CANNOT PERFORM MY DIVINE CHARGE WITHOUT GUIDANCE! AAAAGH!
My soccer field is 8 miles across. Is this right? HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW!? My bases on the baseball field are properly spaced, but where do the tesla coils go? Many primers had no specifications at all, leaving my creations as a swirling shrieking mass of raw mesenchyme and resin substitute. I have been contacted by the FBI, SCP, and most disturbingly the IRS all pertaining to my unnatural and unholy project. Guide me oh supreme knower of sports, the emperor of all balls eternal. Speak to me. Lean in. Crouch down. My brittle bones and fragile mind will be overcome with joy as your dry lips crinkle apart to whisper the secrets of the sports into my mortal ears. I am ready.
Sincerely,
Monsieur Skidmark_Generator

Hello stranger, i know it is hard to find someone compatible, especially online, but i wish luck to all of you reading this post. And if i am really lucky, maybe i will find what i’m looking for aswell.
My intentions are clear: i want to find You. I want to find the right person for the right cause which is starting a family together. The question is: is that You?
I think three important factors you looking for are: 1. Mutual attraction 2. Similar goals/shared interests 3. He is not a complete dumbass
I will start with mutual attraction. I’m willing to exchange pics in private just so we know that this can work and you like my appearance. I don’t want to add my pic to this post cause i care about my privacy. I will be honest by saying it is an important objective, a physical attraction. To make things easier i can say a few things about my looks: 5”11 (180 cm), 187 lbs (85 kg +/-), blue eyes, black hair, broad shoulders, deep voice.
Second most important thing for you is who i am and what i like.
I’m a man of strong moral fiber. I value honesty, loyalty and kindness. I treat people right and i’m willing to help whenever i have a chance, i also care for my family which is super important to me. I see myself as a conservative person. I hold traditional values and i got much respect for religion and history. Individual freedom and free speech is all i’m about, also i’m a pacifist, i will defend my family and close ones with all i have, but at the same time i’m not looking for troubles and not getting into fights, that was never my thing, i like to resolve problems with words, not fists.
Shared interest paragraph is ready to go. I like to read a lot, i also write some stuff, im getting ready to publish my book one day (all i need is more inspiration from You, be my Muse). Music is my thing, i’m going to a lot of concerts and festivals, road trips, watching youtube channels about history, science, cosmos and some other topics, i’m watching a lot of tv series and movies, like to spend time outside by walking or hiking, i like outdoors but i’m also a huge fan of spending time in bed and doing nothing sometimes.
My goal is to find a fine woman to start a family with. I always wanted to have a child, i think 2 or 3 is just the right number. I even have some names for kids, we can discuss it. I know how it is to grow up without a father figure that’s why i always wanted to give that to my children, a big and happy home where dad and mom loves each other a lot and sending this vibe to their children. I also want to show to my kids all the books and music albums i love so much and i want to be for them always to raise them well! So if you are up for that - awesome!
I want a woman who is ambitious, i want her to support me cause i will do the very same thing. I want you to watch a soccer game with me willingly and i want you to invite me to your world, show me what you love and i want to be in it for you, even if it means watching a silly show in tv. Whatever makes you feel good, i want to be a part of it. Support, support, support and don’t kill the other person’s vibe, i’m up for it.
I want a woman that is willing to talk about our feelings and everything, cause a real talk is the most important thing to build a strong foundation. Let’s talk and don’t hide our feelings.
Life is worth living and it is way better to spend it all with the person you love, i want to find that person here. Maybe that is You? Let’s find out.
Also, the last thing - i’m not a complete dumbass, sometimes i’m just a silly boy!
I wish you all the best, cheers!
Also i want to include one of my fav quotes recently:
'Cause when you talk about these things, something ignites in you, and I can see it on your face.
And I don't see that on a lot of people. And, you know, whatever that feeling is, when you feel it, I feel that too.
And it's not just here. It's... It's afterwards. What I'm trying to say is i really like the way that I feel when I make you feel the way that you do.”

I remember a while ago I wrote a post defending Cole and everyone brought up the sword training scene as Cole’s worst crime. I’m rewatching the series now and I just have to ask did we watch the same show? Cole doesn’t do anything to the strong boys at all. Here’s a little play by play to prove it. Cole hits the green boys in the training yard. Harwin asks him to include the strong boys that are like 7 years younger than them to train at the same time. I remember when i did jiu jitsu as a kid the age range of a class was really narrow because there’s a big difference in how you have to teach a 10 year old like Jace and a young adult like Aegon 2. It was totally reasonable to not teach all of them at once. The fight is back and forth. If you’re gonna make the argument that it was cruel to pit them together like Harwin does, Jace starts winning so its not like they’re the poor defenseless strong boys. Aegon pushes the dummy on him so Harwin goes all soccer mom when Jace wasn’t even hurt. This was supposed to be a simulation of a real asymmetrical sword fight so using the environment to your advantage is smart and a good lesson to teach in a combat class like that scene with Sokka in Avatar. They go at it again and it’s pretty evenly matched but Cole is directing Aegon. Harwin does not direct or cheer on Jace. Aegon interprets Cole’s advice creatively and gets the upper hand. Soccer mom Harwin swoops in: “are you teaching them to be CRUEL to the WEAK” quote guy named Breakbones. Why the fuck is he calling him weak when he was winning btw. Guess they’re not strong boys lol. Crispin rightly points out how obsessive Harwin is over these kids to the points where he cries if they get hurt at COMBAT TRAINING and slyly calls him out as their father which Harwin proves by beating him in a hissy fit. He endangered his own kids by making it extremely clear they were his bastards with his coddling. He should’ve put as much distance between him and the kids as possible to protect them.
Now i was not favorable to team black in my play by play but I think it goes to show that you can only see this as a black-and-white one side is good and one is bad story if you ignore the details of the event. I think what the writers were trying to convey with this scene is that team green is perpetuating the conflict onto the green boys and that team black’s constant asking for things they can’t handle and whinging about perceived unfairness is causing the conflict in the first place. The scene mirrors the fight between the Bracken and the Blackwood on Rhynyra’s suitor world tour where neither of the individuals were guilty and it was the families and the culture that led to the senseless bloodshed.

A U10 local travel league game.
The assistant coach was screaming at me earlier about pushing, I told him it was being called and they’re 10, they’re still learning. I spoke to the player a couple times and she seemed like she understood what she was doing incorrectly and every time her arm came up, she started apologize to the people around her. I spoke to the pushy player’s coach at halftime and they understood.
At this point, the game is almost over, the pushy girl’s team is clearly outmatched and she is their best player, they’re losing 12-3. The coaches from the winning team are losing their shit screaming at their players to keep scoring, grab the ball and jam it into the goal. Great sportsmanship, right?
Near the end of the game, pushy girl has a chance at goal and goalkeeper reaches down for the ball. Her hands are nowhere close to the ball and Pushy tries poking it once. They collide and they fall over on top of each other. I call a foul on pushy girl just because it was reckless going in that strong at the keeper, but she did get the ball first. Pushy immediately gets up and apologize to the keeper and checks on her, keeper gets up and starts crying. I call the coaches onto the field and they immediately start berating me saying and I quote “you are the reason this is happening, you should’ve tossed her out in the first 5 minutes.” I then give the assistant coach a yellow while the head coach is screaming at me. I think back on it and I should’ve kicked both of them out for dissent. The keeper cheers up after I tell her what a great save she made and she did a great job. I call the game shortly after. I talk to the other coach from Pushy’s team and she said I called a good game and thought they were overreacting.
I was still heated so I decided to not attend the post match handshake as the assistant coach continues to yell at me “real classy buddy, don’t quit your day job.” In hindsight, I should’ve been the bigger person and stuck around but I have never been screamed at like that in ages and I had just lost my cool and couldn’t stand to be there for another second.
I thought I was doing good and this has really turned me off from this, I understand it’s typically a bad one to ruin it but that was just unbelievable. I spoke with my local assignor and he agrees with the calls I made and said I should’ve tossed the coaches out, but then he quickly hung up because and I quote, “this is my 3 day weekend, so we can talk about this more Tuesday” lol.
What could I have done better - it was a U10 game, I don’t agree with cautioning / ejecting a 10 year old girl still learning soccer when she was correcting her actions. I was helping teach kids why they were being called and instructing them on what to do differently in that scenario. The winning team had a girl who was notoriously offsides and I stopped play to speak with her and she immediately recognized what she was doing wrong and corrected herself, it was amazing to see!

https://preview.redd.it/mig6sfcvrz1d1.jpg?width=201&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5aeb7f25f2405cbf022c0a8880cee32af7325862
Back in late April 2024, Selim Ben Hmida (a writer for totalfootballanalysis.com) published a scouting report on Hal. To read the entire article, you need to complete a free subscription (no payment information required, I signed up for this article so I can't speak to whether they harass free subscribers with emails). I am going to respect their intellectual property and incentives to produce the analysis so I am not going to simply copy-and-paste the entire article. However, I will share my summary of the highlights below (not that any of this is groundbreaking):

• For the Spirit, Hal is responsible for helping with build up and distribution, as well as being an energetic midfielder who runs everywhere and does the "dirty work" of chasing opponents, intercepting passes, and marking players trying to penetrate towards the box. Her heatmap illustrates her box-to-box play.
• Defensive contributions: her physically-impressive and tactically-sound defensive skills (e.g., duels, interceptions, tackles) are magnified by her high work effort and athleticism.
• Playmaking contributions: Accurate passing and comfortable doing so with both feet.
• Attacking contributions (to continue or build upon):
  • dribbling through traffic or winning first- and second-balls due to her physical strength,
  • winning headers given her height at 5'8", and
  • goal scoring (shots per game, shots on target %, making difficult goals including long-distance shots).
• Key area for improvement: "Increasing her number of forward passes per game" (which should also hopefully translate into more assists).

Two positives highlighted by the profile seem partly influenced by the timing of the profile (mid April). The profile highlight's Hal's standout pass accuracy rate at the time (95%), which has since fallen to a less remarkable but still excellent level (79%). Additionally, although Hal scored 2 goals in her first 4 matches for the Spirit, she has not scored in the last 6 matches (though for the match in Portland she only played 45 minutes and was tasked with marking Sophia Smith for much of that time). Moreover, Hal in college scored 16 goals and added 12 assists in her 99 appearances at Clemson. Thus, for me, goal scoring as a key attribute for Hal at the professional level (as suggested by the profile) is still TBD for me.
To summarize, Hal could improve her progressive passing as well as her goal scoring to make herself an even more well-rounded, standout center midfielder. She already has all the defensive chops one could hope for, though that may not be a surprise given her extensive experience as a defensive midfielder in college.
Additionally, The Equalizer also has a paywalled profile of Hal that came out yesterday. The profile doesn't do any in-depth analysis of Hal's play (part of the article is just listing all the other players called up for USWNT June camp), but the article does include a few quotes from Hal reflecting on her role with the Spirit that I'll elevate:

• “The flexibility of the position I’ve been really enjoying,” Hershfelt said. “I think that’s something that has evolved my game. In college, I was more of a very, very strict six. Here, I definitely have more freedom. I’m in the build up with [Andi Sullivan]. But then when we’re pressing, I also get to go high and float and be a part of the attacking actions. That’s been really cool — the flexibility piece. It’s made me have to be more of a true soccer player.”
• “I’m a very high energy player,” Hershfelt said. “For me, patience and discipline are the things that I’ve been picking up from [the veterans on the team]. I don’t need to be on 100 all the time. There are times where I can pick and choose my moments.”

Props to Hal for so quickly and effectively transitioning to the NWSL as a Spirit player, and for earning her first call up to the senior USWNT!
P.S. As an aside (I know that the Spirit's June UWSNT callups were already discussed in yesterday's subreddit post on the subject), I wonder if Hal, Croix, and Kate were all called up to the June camp in part due to a preference to call them up simultaneously and therefore hopefully maximize their comfort with their first experience in a senior USWNT camp, thus giving them the best chance to show their stuff in person for Emma Hayes, the expected coach through the next WWC in 2027.

• I'm not surprised that Hal, Croix, and Kate are on the senior USWNT's radar as young players to watch. However, all three getting a callup this soon seems a bit surprising given the immediate priority would seem to be finalizing the Olympics 18-player roster, and neither of the three Spirit rookies seem likely to make that small Olympics roster barring injuries to other players. (Croix's play seems like the biggest standout of the three, but she also has the greatest injury history of the three [so caution about throwing her into international tournament-level rigors], plus she arguably faces the greatest competition for her ideal role with the USWNT - Lavelle, Horan, Shaw, Macario, Sanchez, DeMelo, and even Dunn all have experience with the USWNT and years of standout performances in the #10 role at either the club or international level.)
• However, if all three were on the USWNT's shortlist of young players to watch, and Emma Hayes and the coaching staff were deciding who should be included in the final spots for this camp (with other Spirit players Rodman, Krueger already near locks and Kingsbury likely getting the nod due to Naeher's absence), I wonder if the USWNT coaching staff might have thought "well, let's just bring in all 3 of the Spirit rookies at once when they're feeling good from club play and have each other and their other club teammates to lean on for player chemistry and mental health support as part of this senior USWNT camp opportunity."

Another factor that crossed my mind is that Emma Hayes/the USWNT coaching staff may appreciate the Spirit's recent play as a potential model for the USWNT (striving to build toward a more tactical and possession-based style that manipulates opponents, but also relying on our athletic strengths through direct and transitional play if that's what seems like the best way to win a particular game). Or perhaps Emma Hayes highly rates Jona Giraldez and Spanish coaching more generally, so she/the USWNT coaching staff may have greater expectations that the Spirit rookies will continue to rapidly develop in the coming years. Or perhaps there are playeposition-specific reasons why Hal, Croix, and Kate were all called up for this particular camp, and it's just a coincidence that those factors resulted in three Spirit rookies simultaneously getting their first callups to a senior USWNT camp. (For example, Croix and Kate are no longer age eligible for the U-23 option, whereas a bunch of the other young standout players in the NWSL are still age eligible for either the U-20 or U-23 teams so those outlets can continue to provide USWYNT exposure and development.)
P.P.S. Here's a Hal mystery. Was she born on October 3, 2001 (as listed on the Spirit website) or October 3, 2002 (as listed by every other source on the internet, including the USWNT)? Perhaps someone who follows Hal on IG or other forms of social media will know the answer (e.g., did she post last year about celebrating her 21st or 22nd birthday?)
https://preview.redd.it/1f2z9p9trz1d1.jpg?width=2178&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5dccab948501ad18d990392b1b439fb66a772459

Im in middle school and am approaching the last days of school.
During school me and my "friends" really enjoy playing soccer but recently they haver been getting competitive and very rough. My "friends" started pushing people and so I started calling fouls (by pushing people I mean pushing the skinny kids and actually hurting them) and they started arguing with me about the fouls and flags I was calling. SO I just assumed we could push people now so i started pushing the bigger kids and playing rough, BUT THEN THEY DECIDE TO CALL THE FOULS ON ME. So I argue back which pisses them off and now they all gang up on me at school and dtry their best to bully me. I've nver let people bully me and always fight back whioch has been pissing them off. My so called "friends" completely turned on me and even said to me quote: "maybe your social life would be better if you didn't argue about everything" I just keptm on walking when he said that. But I really wish I had turned aro8und and socked that fucker in the face though.
I only have 1-2 friends that don't bully me and don't hate on me and they're the only friends I care about at this point, but im just pissed because I went from being semi-popular to hated by all the boys for no apparent reason. Idk if anyones gonna see this I just really need to talk to someone.
Thank you,

Hello stranger, i know it is hard to find someone compatible, especially online, but i wish luck to all of you reading this post. And if i am really lucky, maybe i will find what i’m looking for aswell.
My intentions are clear: i want to find You. I want to find the right person for the right cause which is starting a family together. The question is: is that You?
I think three important factors you looking for are: 1. Mutual attraction 2. Similar goals/shared interests 3. He is not a complete dumbass
I will start with mutual attraction. I’m willing to exchange pics in private just so we know that this can work and you like my appearance. I don’t want to add my pic to this post cause i care about my privacy. I will be honest by saying it is an important objective, a physical attraction. To make things easier i can say a few things about my looks: 5”11 (180 cm), 187 lbs (85 kg +/-), blue eyes, black hair, broad shoulders, deep voice.
Second most important thing for you is who i am and what i like.
I’m a man of strong moral fiber. I value honesty, loyalty and kindness. I treat people right and i’m willing to help whenever i have a chance, i also care for my family which is super important to me. I see myself as a conservative person. I hold traditional values and i got much respect for religion and history. Individual freedom and free speech is all i’m about, also i’m a pacifist, i will defend my family and close ones with all i have, but at the same time i’m not looking for troubles and not getting into fights, that was never my thing, i like to resolve problems with words, not fists.
Shared interest paragraph is ready to go. I like to read a lot, i also write some stuff, im getting ready to publish my book one day (all i need is more inspiration from You, be my Muse). Music is my thing, i’m going to a lot of concerts and festivals, road trips, watching youtube channels about history, science, cosmos and some other topics, i’m watching a lot of tv series and movies, like to spend time outside by walking or hiking, i like outdoors but i’m also a huge fan of spending time in bed and doing nothing sometimes.
My goal is to find a fine woman to start a family with. I always wanted to have a child, i think 2 or 3 is just the right number. I even have some names for kids, we can discuss it. I know how it is to grow up without a father figure that’s why i always wanted to give that to my children, a big and happy home where dad and mom loves each other a lot and sending this vibe to their children. I also want to show to my kids all the books and music albums i love so much and i want to be for them always to raise them well! So if you are up for that - awesome!
I want a woman who is ambitious, i want her to support me cause i will do the very same thing. I want you to watch a soccer game with me willingly and i want you to invite me to your world, show me what you love and i want to be in it for you, even if it means watching a silly show in tv. Whatever makes you feel good, i want to be a part of it. Support, support, support and don’t kill the other person’s vibe, i’m up for it.
I want a woman that is willing to talk about our feelings and everything, cause a real talk is the most important thing to build a strong foundation. Let’s talk and don’t hide our feelings.
Life is worth living and it is way better to spend it all with the person you love, i want to find that person here. Maybe that is You? Let’s find out.
Also, the last thing - i’m not a complete dumbass, sometimes i’m just a silly boy!
I wish you all the best, cheers!
Also i want to include one of my fav quotes recently:
'Cause when you talk about these things, something ignites in you, and I can see it on your face.
And I don't see that on a lot of people. And, you know, whatever that feeling is, when you feel it, I feel that too.
And it's not just here. It's... It's afterwards. What I'm trying to say is i really like the way that I feel when I make you feel the way that you do.”

I may have missed some more recent (late 2023-24) declarations, so let me know if I should add anything I've missed.
Stugotz personal record book. Sorry if the links are expired on some things. They're old.
[Time Stamps] Started to use them in late 2019. They may not be exact based on what podcast app or service you use. But they'll be close.
I DIDN'T ASK FOR ANY OF THIS:

FOOTBALL

(1) UCF is the 2017-2018 national champion.
(2) If Kirk Cousins goes to the Jaguars and not the Jets, no championship he wins will count in the personal record book.
Note (2)(a): Still pending sort of since Kirk is with the Vikings now – possible in future he could go to Jags.
(3) Eli manning has 1 ring. He doesnt get one for throwing a ball into David Tyree's face / Tyree getting a football stuck in his helmet.
(4) Carson Wentz has a Super Bowl 52 ring.
Note (4)(a): Foles does not have a Super Bowl 52 ring.
(5) The Raiders defeated the Patriots in their divisional playoff matchup in 2002 (Tuck Rule game), and then would defeat the Rams in Super Bowl 36.
Note (5)(a): In this scenario also, Bill Belichick was also "fired and looking for a job" after the Tuck Rule game and has 0 rings.
(6) If the 2017 Patriots won Super Bowl 52, James Harrison would not have a ring (Patriots lost to Eagles).
(7) Peyton Manning has one ring (Broncos ring does not count).
(8) Peyton Manning must give such ring he lost (above) to Von Miller, who thus has 2 rings.
(9) Aaron Rodgers can have all the rings he wants for keeping all of central Wisconsin employed.
(10) Brian Billick has 0 rings (2000 Ravens Super Bowl) because that defense carried him.
(11) Tony Boselli is a Hall of Famer.
(12) Tarik Cohen is an honorary Jew.
(13) JuJu Smith-Schuster is also an honorary Jew. L'Chaim.
(14) Drew brees has three rings for winning the super bowl for the city of New Orleans.
Note (14)(a): There was discussion on this where the number started at three, went up to five, came down to two, but it ended up at three.
(15) Mike McCarthy has no Super Bowl rings.
Note(15)(a): Dan also has this in his record book, and it is the first entry into the Le Batard Personal Record Book.
Note 15(b): In fact, McCarthy has -3 (Negative three) rings.
(16) Any Super Bowl rings Antonio Brown gets with the Patriots will not count in the Stugotz personal record book (9/9 Weekend Observations National Hour 2).
(17) Ohio State's 76 to 5 victory over Miami (Ohio) on 9/21/19 does not count.
(18) Due to Bill Belichick's 219 wins with Tom Brady, Bill's week 7 2023 victory over the Bills was actually his 81st victory and not his 300th victory.
(19) The 2002-03 Miami Hurricanes actually won the Fiesta Bowl/BCS National Championship game against Ohio State.
(20) If JJ Watt joins the Texans for the 2024 season or later on, none of the Super Bowl rings will count in Stugotz's personal record book

BASKETBALL

Kevin Durant
(1) If Westbrook wins a championship and beats Kevin Durant along the way in the playoffs, Westbrook will have won 2 championship rings.
(2) "STRAP IT ON BOYS, GONNA TAKE YA FOR A RIDE:"
Kevin Durant has 0 rings (Zero rings)
Kevin Durant has -1 rings (Negative 1 rings).
Kevin Durant has -4 rings (Negative 4) (As of 4/11/18)
Note (2)(a): This number is subject to change based on Stugotz altering rings to the "-4" current total. Specifically as seen recently when Stugotz adjusted the number from (i) 0 rings to (ii) -1 rings to (iii) -4 rings.
Note (2)(b): Here is a tweet transcript of the conversation where this was discovered.
Archive link
(3) If Kevin Durant wins an NBA title for the NY Knicks, he will gain 11 rings.
Note (3)(a): As seen above in "(2)," Kevin Durant has -4 rings.
Note (3)(b): [Math] If Durant were to remain at -4 rings, and subsequently win an NBA title for the Knicks, he will have 7 rings total. This was specifically stated (-4 + 11 = 7), and a question about a non-specifically stated Personal Record Book entry is posed below in "Note (3)(c)(i)."
Note (3)(c): If the Golden State Warriors had won a championship playing 3 on 5 with Kevin Durant, Kevin Durant would have 1 ring.
Note (3)(c)(i): [Confusion] I am unsure if "Note(3)(c)" means he would gain +1 ring, and therefore be "up" to -3 rings total. Possibly, Stugotz means if the Golden State Warriors had won a championship 3 on 5 with Durant, Kevin Durant would be at +1 rings total (Positive 1 rings).
(4) Kevin Durant's dagger in Game 3 did not count, because according to Stugotz, none of Durant's stats count. KD's official statline last night was 0/0/0 and the Cavs blew the Warriors out by 40.
(5) Anything Kevin Durant has done with the Warriors so far is not in Stugotz' personal record scroll.
Note (5)(a): Stugotz did not take his feathered pen and write anything in his scroll (King Roy approves).
(6) Westbrook has ALL of KD's rings.
(7) For every time KD says he doesn't give a BLEEP, Stugotz adds 2 "I do give a BLEEPS" in the personal record book.
(8) Per Dan, speaking on Stugotz' behalf, Kevin Durant has no Olympic Gold Medals (9/18/19 National Hour 1 @ 00:07:50).
Michael Jordan
(1) Jordan has 9 rings because:
(a) The Rockets have to give their 2 rings from 1994 and 1995 to Jordan (+2); and
(b) The Bulls would have won the 1999 Finals over the Spurs if Jordan didn't retire (+1; 9 total).
Note (1)(a-b)(i): Put LeBron's rings in a box and put Jordan's rings in a box. Jordan is +6 by the way over LeBron box-minus, despite box-minus sounding like a dumb stat.
(2) Michael Jordan was suspended for 2 years for gambling (Said 4/25/18 Hour 2, 14:30 in podcast).
Note 2(a): HOWEVER, MJ still has 9 rings as see above in (1)(a) and (1)(b).
(3) Any game Michael Jordan played wearing the uniform #45 does not count.
LeBron James
(1) If LeBron James goes to the Golden State Warriors, every Championship he wins will result in a deduction of 2 previously won championships.
(2) The Miami Heat LeBron teams were the GREATEST teams in the history of sports (5/7/18 Local Hour).
(3) The Miami Heat LeBron teams were also the MOST INTERESTING teams in the history of sports.
(4) If, after the 2018 NBA Playoffs:
(a) LeBron does not make it to the finals and the Celtics do; and
(b) The Houston Rockets do not make it to the finals and the Warriors do; and
(c) LeBron goes to the Houston Rockets for the next season, THEN
LeBron is allowed to win rings that count in Stu's personal record book.
Note (4)(a-c)(i): HOWEVER, Harden & Chris Paul - if they remain on the Rockets with LeBron on the team - are not allowed to have any of the rings won with LeBron count in Stu's personal record book.
Note 4(a-c)(ii): To quote the big man Stu (with Dan agreeing of course), "Do it on your own” (Dan agrees here).
(5) If LeBron wins an NBA Championship with the 2018 Lakers roster (as of 7/23/18), then that wins counts for 6 rings.
Note (5)(a): Thus LeBron would have 9 rings.
Kyrie Irving
(1) Kyrie Irving hit one of the biggest shots in NBA Finals History, but was only in that position because of LeBron James. Kyrie Irving, did hit one of the biggest shots in NBA Finals history that won everyone on that team a Ring, except for you (Kyrie). (3/9/20 Hour #3; Google Podcast @ 07:00).
Note (1)(a): Stugotz: "A little revision to the uhhh Stugotz Personal Record Book that I'll come around to writing...or Mike will." I'M WRITING IT YOU IDIOT MORON JACKAL
Misc. Basketball
(1) The Houston Rockets have 0 (Zero) NBA Championship victories.
Note (1)(a): See "Michael Jordan (1)(a)" for reasoning.
Note (1)(a)(i): [Restated Reasoning] Michael Jordan is actually in possession of those 1994 and 1995 Rockets rings because Michael Jordan would have won those championships if he stayed in Chicago.
Note(1)(b): [CONFLICTING HOT TAKE] Stugotz has also said Jordan didn't get the Rockets' rings because he was actually suspended for gambling.
Note (1)(b)(i) NEEDS CLARIFICATION PLEASE. Stugotz keeps going back and forth. In "Michael Jordan Note 1(a)," the opposite of "Miscellaneous Basketball Note (1)(b) is stated because he has gone back and forth on this issue.
(2) Steve Kerr has no rings as a coach. In fact, he has never even coached a game.
(3) Mychal Thompson (Klay's dad) has no rings. (Said on Zach Harper podcast).
(4) Clyde Drexler no rings (Said on Zach Harper podcast).
(5) Giannis Antetekoumpo is pronounced Yani Adababoombo.
(6) As long as James Harden has his beard, he cannot win any championships.
Note (6)(a): If the Rockets win a ring, then the ring goes to the beard.
(7) Lamarcus Aldridge cost the Spurs game 2 of the 2017 Western Conference Semifinals, even though they won.
(8) If the Sixers happen to win a championship, Sam Hinkie gets a ring.
(9) Chris Paul has NOT made a Western Conference Final since he had to join the Rockets to do so.
(10) Michael Jordan winning the NBA Finals in 1999 also means that Tim Duncan only has 4 rings instead of 5 rings.
(11) The Warriors only have 1 ring
Note (11)(a): Durant still has -4.
(12) Boogie Cousins cannot win a NBA Championship and have it count if he does so with the Warriors.
(13) Billy Donovan was the NBA Coach of the Year in 2017 (12/13/17 @ 28:10 Hour 1).
Note (13)(a): The Thunder blowing the 3-1 lead to the Warriors that year had nothing to do with Donovan. It was Durant's fault.
(14) The OKC Thunder actually did win the WCF against the Warriors in 2017 when up 3-1.
Note (14)(a): This does not apply to Durant though.
Note (14)(b): The Thunder also beat whoever they would have played in the Finals. Durant still no ring.
(15) Embiid has his 2023 MVP taken away and given to Jimmy Butler.
(16) Caitlin Clark's NCAA all-time scoring record still belongs to Pistol Pete because unlike Pistol Pete, Caitlin didn't do it in 3 years and she did it with a 3 point line.

BASEBALL

Babe Ruth
(1) Babe Ruth is black.
(2) Babe Ruth never hit a baseball. Not once.
(3) Babe Ruth is the number two black baseball player of all time behind Barry Larkin.
(4) Babe Ruth is NOT a top 20 Baseball player of all time. He's a pitcher.
Note (4)(a): However This is somewhat confusing/interesting because:
(i) Stugotz has said "Babe Ruth is the number two black baseball player of all time behind Barry Larkin; and"
(ii) This MUST mean Stugotz can only have 1 black player in his top 20 Baseball players of all time Barry Larkin; because
(iii) The only way this can work logically is if in the list of greatest players #1 through #20, only Barry Larkin is on the latter top #1 through #20 list. I would like some clarification on if he wishes to change this take/record.
(5) Babe Ruth is also not a top 20 pitcher of all time.
Misc. Baseball
(1) Stugotz has declared that in his personal record book, Baseball no longer allows pitchers to hit (Stated on 05/03/2018 @ 12:38:52 P.M).
Note (1)(a): Excludes Bartolo Colon, and Shohei Ohtani.
Note (1)(b): You are either a pitcher or a hitter. Not both.
(2) If the Dodgers won the 2017 World Series Clayton Kershaw would not have had a ring.
(3) Wade Boggs DOES have a ring because he rode around on a horse with a beer afterward.
(4) Clayton Kershaw did not win an MVP award because the award for pitchers was already given, the CY Young award.
(5) Miami beat LSU in the 1996 College Baseball World Series.
(6) The 1986 NY Mets did not win the World Series against the Boston Red Sox.
Note (6)(a): This "pains" Stugotz.
(7) The Red Sox retroactively winning the 1986 World Series may result in taking a ring away from the Mets.
Note (7)(a): Stugotz has to think about it though, he's not sure yet.
(8) Bryce Harper did not win the 2018 home run derby because he cheated.
(9) Kershaw's Earned Ring Average (ERA) is 0.00.
(10) Mike Minor (Rangers Pitcher) does not have 200 strikeouts in 2019. He's at 199 (National Hour 2, 10 mins 40 seconds in).
Note (10)(a): Chris agrees too. And who really cares (15% on poll do care).
(11) The 2020-2021 Mets, during the Coronavirus outbreak, are 0-3 and Jacob deGrom is somehow 0-1 with a 0.00 ERA and 1 complete game. The deGrominator. (Google Podcast 3/30 Hour #3 @ 19:20)

HOCKEY

(1) Ray Bourque doesn't have a ring.
(2) Alex Ovechkin may or may not have won the Stanley Cup against the Vegas Golden Knights.
Note (2)(a): "I mean he beat an expansion team . . . bunch of players nobody wanted" (We get the sense that Dan agrees).

TENNIS

(1) If anyone wins a major in Female Tennis without Serena Williams playing, it does not count and they have 0 rings.
(2) If Maria Sharapova wins a grand slam in which Serena isnt competing it doesnt count.

GOLF

(1) If Jason Day wins the 2018 Masters, it counts as an American winning (as far as bets are concerned).
(2) Vijay Singh did not play in the 2018 Masters.
(3) Steph Curry did not win the 2023 American Century Celebrity Golf Championship Tournament . Mardy Fish was the real winner.

SOCCER

(1) Lionel Messi is stripped of all his achievements for using HGH. He never played soccer. He is still 5'1". "Fraud."
(2) Soccer is dead.

NCAA DIVISION 1 WOMEN'S LACROSSE

(1) Rachel has more rings than Kevin Durant

MISCELLANEOUS

(1) Aqua?
(2) Rings plus-minus is the only way to measure greatness.
(3) The HBO Andre the Giant film was good, not great, and Stugotz didn’t learn anything.
(4) Benoit Lecomte (guy they interviewed) can not and will not swim from San Francisco to Tokyo in the personal record book because he is most likely taking a dip for a few minutes then coming back on the boat and enjoying some filet mignon by the pool.
Note (4)(a): "Do it without a yacht. And how about ya do it without the little magnetic field around you that keeps sharks away. How bout that. Allows dolphins through though? Anyway.."
(5) Justify (the Horse) only has a double crown.
Note (5)(a): This is the first ever double crown.
(6) Tango and Cash is in the action movie Hall of Fame. and Cliffhanger has the greatest 5 minute intro of any movie of all time.
(7) Maximum Security (a Horse) won the 2019 Kentucky Derby.
(8) Fruit Stripes Gum is NOT a 1st Ballot Hall of Famer in Stu's "Gum Hall of Fame." (08/12/2019 Hour 2 @ 15:25).
Note (8)(a): "It loses it's flavor so quickly"
Note (8)(b): Also, "[...] Bazooka...1st Ballot Hall of Famer." Also, "Big League Chew..1st Ballot."
(9) Chris Cote owns all intellectual property rights to the "Friends" (TV Show) Movie with a misleading preview that eventually has a climax leading to an intense murder mystery. (10/29/19 Hour #2 @ 03:15).
Note (9)(a): "If they make this without crediting Cote, they're stealing it."
(10) That guy killed the pigeon (12/10 Hour 3 @ 08:20).
(11) Billy owns the record for world's longest Plank (2/25, Hour #3; Google Podcast @ 30:55).
Note (11)(a): Possibly in just the Non-Marine edition.
(12) Zach Buchanan won a Pulitzer Prize for his story on the Madison Bumgarner / Mason Saunders rodeo fiasco (2/28/20 Hour #2; Google Podcasts @ 21:35).
(13) Findlay the Golden retriever holds the Stu Gotz Personal Record Book record for most tennis balls held in a mouth at one time by a dog at 6 (2/11/2020)
(14) Ace Davis (The kid who "proved" Tom Brady was cheating with science) and his fathefamily are heroes (4/1 Hour #3; Google Podcast @ 18:50).
(15) Dan did NOT do more push-ups than Domonique Foxworth (Dan did push-ups on a non-linear platform) (4/28/2020 Hour # 1).
(16) If you did not talk about going to a Grateful Dead show with Bill Walton, or that you went with tickets he got you, around when it happened in real time, then you didn't actually go see the Grateful Dead. (Stu was mad everyone was telling their Grateful Dead stories after Walton died).

SPORTS MEDIA DREAM TEAM™

Sourced from Google Podcast; 05/06/2020, Hour 2 @ 09:00
(Head Coach) Ernie Johnson - "When you look over to the bench, what you need is someone to stand tall, someone who is confident, someone who is competent, someone who has all the credibility -soaked in credibility - when you have the Head Coach of the Sports Media Dream Team."
(1; Point Guard) Mike Greenberg - "Doesn't really want to answer the big questions, but has no problem distributing those questions to other people who are happy to answer them."
(2; Shooting Guard) Stephen A. Smith - "Never met a topic he doesn't like. Short memory, doesn't care, Greeny could throw him anything and Stephen A. is gonna run with it even if he knows nothing about the topic. That is how it works. Stephen A. is the greatest of all time."
(3; Small Forward) Chris Fowler - "A do it all guy. Studio show? Great. Play by Play? Even better. Can do everything."
(4; Small Forward Replacement) Maria Taylor) - "Need Play by Play, need Sideline, need Studio Host - she can do it all"
(5; Power Forward) Dianna Russini - "You need some crazy, some don't mess with us, someone to tear someone's head off in the event that they come after one of us."
(6; Power Forward Replacement) PFT Commenter - "He just comes in and acts crazy, throws his arms and hair around, and give ya 5 to 10 really crazy minutes."
(7; In honor of the Chicago Bulls, Stugotz needed a Wennington, a Purdue) Scott Van Pelt - Dan debated whether or not SVP should be on the Sports Media Dream Team™. That's what he's doing.
(8; Bench Player w/ No Position Specified) Doris Burke
(9) Teased...

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satisfy, sauce, save, saving, say, scale, scandal, scare, scatter, scenario, scene, schedule, scheme, scholar, scholarship, school, science, scientific, scientist, scope, score, scream, screen, script, sea, search, season, seat, second, secondary, secret, secretary, section, sector, secure, security, see, seed, seek, seem, segment, seize, select, selection, self, sell, Senate, senator, send, senior, sense, sensitive, sentence, separate, sequence, series, serious, seriously, servant, serve, service, session, set, setting, settle, settlement, seven, several, severe, sex, sexual, shade, shadow, shake, shall, shallow, shape, share, sharp, she, sheet, shelf, shell, shelter, shift, shine, ship, shirt, shock, shoe, shoot, shooting, shop, shopping, short, shortly, shot, should, shoulder, shout, show, shower, shrug, shut, shy, sibling, sick, side, sigh, sight, sign, signal, significant, significantly, silence, silent, silver, similar, similarly, simple, simply, sin, since, sing, singer, single, sink, sir, sister, sit, site, situation, six, size, ski, skill, skin, skirt, sky, slave, sleep, slice, slide, slight, slightly, slip, slow, slowly, small, smart, smell, smile, smoke, smooth, snap, snow, so, so-called, soccer, social, society, soft, software, soil, solar, soldier, sole, solid, solution, solve, some, somebody, somehow, someone, something, sometimes, somewhat, somewhere, son, song, soon, sophisticated, sorry, sort, soul, sound, soup, source, south, southern, Soviet, space, Spanish, speak, speaker, special, specialist, species, specific, specifically, specify, speech, speed, spend, spending, spin, spirit, spiritual, split, spoil, sponsor, sport, spot, spray, spread, spring, square, squeeze, stability, stable, staff, stage, stain, stair, stake, stand, standard, standing, star, stare, start, state, statement, station, statistical, status, stay, steady, steal, steel, steep, stem, step, stick, still, stimulate, stimulus, stir, stock, stomach, stone, stop, storage, store, storm, story, straight, strange, stranger, strategic, strategy, stream, street, strength, strengthen, stress, stretch, strike, string, strip, stroke, strong, strongly, structural, structure, struggle, student, studio, study, stuff, stupid, style, subject, submit, subsequent, substance, substantial, substitute, succeed, success, successful, successfully, such, sudden, suddenly, sue, suffer, sufficient, sugar, suggest, suggestion, suicide, suit, summer, summit, sun, super, supply, support, supporter, suppose, supposed, Supreme, sure, surely, surface, surgery, surprise, surprised, surprising, surprisingly, surround, survey, survival, survive, survivor, suspect, sustain, swear, sweep, sweet, swim, swing, switch, symbol, symptom, system, table, tactic, tail, take, tale, talent, talk, tall, tank, tap, tape, target, task, taste, tax, taxi, tea, teach, teacher, teaching, team, tear, technical, technique, technology, teen, teenager, telephone, telescope, television, tell, temperature, temporary, ten, tend, tendency, tennis, tension, tent, term, terms, terrible, territory, terror, terrorist, test, testimony, testing, text, than, thank, thanks, that, the, theater, their, them, theme, themselves, then, theory, therapy, there, therefore, these, they, thick, thin, thing, think, thinking, third, thirty, this, those, though, thought, thousand, threat, threaten, three, throat, through, throughout, throw, thus, ticket, tie, tight, time, tiny, tip, tire, tissue, title, to, tobacco, today, toe, together, toilet, token, tolerate, tomato, tomorrow, tone, tongue, tonight, too, tool, tooth, top, topic, toss, total, totally, touch, tough, tour, tourist, tournament, toward, towards, tower, town, toy, trace, track, trade, tradition, traditional, traffic, tragedy, trail, train, training, transfer, transform, transformation, transition, translate, translation, transmission, transmit, transport, transportation, travel, treat, treatment, treaty, tree, tremendous, trend, trial, tribe, 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weather, web, website, wedding, week, weekend, weekly, weigh, weight, welcome, welfare, well, west, western, wet, what, whatever, wheel, when, whenever, where, whereas, whether, which, while, whisper, white, who, whole, whom, whose, why, wide, widely, widespread, wife, wild, wildlife, will, willing, win, wind, window, wine, wing, winner, winter, wipe, wire, wisdom, wise, wish, with, withdraw, within, without, witness, woman, wonder, wonderful, wood, wooden, word, work, worker, working, workout, workplace, works, workshop, world, worried, worry, worth, would, wound, wrap, write, writer, writing, wrong, yard, yeah, year, yell, yellow, yes, yesterday, yet, yield, you, young, your, yours, yourself, youth, zone.

Two years ago my rapist was found guilty of second degree rape in St. Mary's County, MD. Little did I know, that the neat end to my tragedy would hardly be over.
Sentencing, is the act in which the judge determines the punishment of the convicted felon. Usually felons are taken into custody and the time they spend in jail will later be considered part of whatever jail time they are issued. For me? The Judge allowed the man to have a ankle monitor until sentencing and rest at home. How did he spend his time? Well, he showed up to the soccer games I would've been at (luckily abroad at the time) and he got picked up at a party he lied about attending and was then held in jail until sentencing.
The sentencing happened nearly two months after the trial--but no one told me. The State's Attorney contacted me and informed me I had to drop everything to rush to the court to give my statement. I went first and because I was not prepared--didn't say half of what I wanted and wasn't nearly as eloquent as I wanted to be.
Afterwards, the judge allowed the Defense attorney to comment on my mental health because I had a therapist and then asked if I had ever been sexually assaulted before. Yes, this is not trial--he was already guilty--but the judge allowed me to be crossed anyway at the sentencing. Thankfully the States Attorney objected to that line of questioning and I got to listen to all his supporters sum my rapist up: He's good at soccer, he translates for the community, and he never raped them--so how bad was he really? And my rapist? Well, since he was found guilty he found god, saw he had an alcohol problem, and realized he would never get the life he wanted. Apologized to the judge, his parents, and supporters. Oh yea, and me!
The Judge deliberated and despite the Maryland minimum guidelines being 5 to 10 years--she gave him 18 months and included whatever time he already spent in jail. 10 months later, he was out reoffending against young girls. By the time the warrant went out, he knew he was done for and took his life in the parking lot by my apartment complex--did I mention he only spent three months out of jail and most of it was spent in my apartment complex with his significant other?
Thankfully, a corner apartment, locked doors, and a big, big dog made me feel a lot safer. Remember to get therapy! My therapist was crucial in my mental recovery. But to be honest, his death was the most freeing aspect of it all.
I'll never see him at the soccer field. Never see him turning the corner of a store. Never see his distinctive car flying across an intersection.
But it's never over. The uninformed from soccer mourned his suicide; I didn't have the heart to say he was a convicted rapist who raped me. His obituary was glowing--a loving, helpful, generous community man taken too young.
Then the judicial election. 1.5 years later I am still being dragged into this. When there was a question of the judge's competency in going so far below minimum guidelines for someone who immediately reoffended potentially multiple people/times--the judge's response was a mass text saying I was older than the victim, I had previously been consensual, and I was hiding it from my boyfriend.
??? I would very much like to be excluded from this narrative. After all, my boyfriend was my biggest support in all of it--I just didn't want him listening to me describe my rape? Also, last I checked a large portion of rapes are from former consensual relationships that don't take closed doors as an option.
Regardless, I wrote an Op-ed, connected with the Maryland Crime Victim's Resource Center to coordinate a release...and...nothing. No one wants to post it. I got one response that they claimed they researched for 7 hours but took only a quote on how disappointed I was about the outcome.
Why? Because politics are running behind the scenes. This judge was appointed by former governor Hogan who is running for Maryland senator and his daughter recently took post in the State Attorney's office.
Is my outcome common or to be expected? I guess not. But the next time you tell a rape victim go ahead and report your crime--this is what they get. Silenced.
That being said? Even with tape over my mouth and my hands tied behind my back, I don't regret a goddamn thing--except that I wasn't more vocal sooner.
Nevertheless, persist my friends.

Thanks to my friend sashalemon96 for writing a significant amount of this report with me!

SECTION 1: CUT SKETCHES

All quoted dialogue is approximate, I do not have an eidetic memory. Also, I interchangeably use cast and character names because not every character is named, and I try to defer to in-sketch pronouns.
MOM NEWS
INT. A newsroom set. Squirm and Rudolph plays reporters on a local news station called “Mom News,” featuring them and their correspondents. All characters are referred to as “your mom” or “your father” in their introductions and provide very mother-like commentary. News stories include: “Something bad has happened to someone you barely know,” and “your mom accidentally left a reply to a post on Facebook about a funeral with a gif of “Uncle Fester spinning a cane.”
They then turn to the weather report by Fineman, who does a Kristen Wiig voice to say the weather is going to be “gorgeous” and “stunning.” Day, as “your dad,” gives a breaking special report that your “neighbor down the street got one of those Teslas,” then pauses then adds “Yeah, that’s it.” P. Johnson and Troast then report on entertainment news. They show a photo of Zendaya at the Met Gala, and then Troast says that Zendaya is “too skinny” and Johnson says “she needs to eat a cheeseburger.” Squirm then sidebars to Maya to say, “You know Zendaya is dating Tim Holland?” Another story features Kearney warning that if you receive a “spam likely” call, you should make sure to pick it up because there’s probably an issue with your bank and you should buy as many Target gift cards as they ask for. Gardner reports on “something you’ve known about for years,” as she’s recently discovered boba before having issues with her technology and playing the Spanish language soccer channel.
Finally, Nwodim and Thompson play a couple, “your mom and your dad.” In a snappy, well-rehearsed, back-and-forth, Thompson reveals that he had tried to fix the broken water heater and failed, and now Nwodim can hold this over his head forever. Nwodim: “And this means you’ll be wearing what at our next dinner?” Thompson: “That ugly ass shirt.” Nwodim: “Sorry, what was that?” Thompson, cowed: “...The nice shirt you bought me, I mean.” which he initially refers to as an “ugly ass shirt.” The anchors end the segment with the news after the break: “a worrying shift in my political opinions” and an “out-of-pocket comment about your dad’s penis.”
BARRY THE MIDWIFE [recurring]
This is a sequel to the original BARRY THE MIDWIFE sketch from the Quinta Brunson/Jonas Brothers episode in Season 48.
Structured in a series of flash-forwards and flashbacks Barry, the midwife, and a doula played by Rudolph, bickering with each other before reconciling. The doula was either “Carla” or “Carly,” I don’t quite remember.
INT. Birth #1 [present]: Troast is delivering, and Hernandez is the father. JAJ is the doctor, but Rudolph is the doula, and Yang is Barry the Midwife. The doula and midwife speak with the same odd pronunciations of words, like “curious” as “curr-ous” and “Paris” as “per-ous.” They also sport the same awkward bob. They have competing catchphrases; Barry keeps saying “Clear a path. Clear a path.” whereas the doula keeps saying “Make a hole. Make a hole.” The doula says, “It’s nice to meet you,” to Barry, which offends him. “Um, actually, we’ve met. Remember? We met in a hot tub after the season finale of Survivor in 2000 when we were both upset that Richard Hatch won.” The doula: “Oh, I guess I don’t remember that.” Barry: “Well, while you were trying to remember, I was delivering this baby.” He casually holds up a baby doll.
INT. Birth #2 [4 years later]: This time, the expecting parents are P. Johnson and Kearney. The doula enters and says “Nice to see you again,” but Barry pretends not to remember her. The doula: “What? Barry, we first met in a hot tub after the season finale of Survivor in 2000 when we were both upset that Richard Hatch won. And then we met again four years earlier.” Barry says the doula has an “elephant memory” for remembering something from 28 years ago, followed by “Girl! respect yourself.” Barry also gets mad when the doula says he’s clearly been copying her hair (at this point they both have long, flowing, silky black tresses). Barry ends with “While you were busy accusing me, I just delivered these triplets. Lesbos always have extros.” He holds up three baby dolls in one arm.
EXT. Hot tub [24 years ago]: Barry and the doula bond over their dislike of the season finale of Survivor while in the hot tub. Barry also adds “I love your hair. I might copy it one day.” (The doula has the exact same awkward bob as in the first scene.) The two suddenly make a pact to marry each other if they are both still single by the 50th anniversary of that night’s episode of Survivor.
INT. Birth #3 [26 years later]: Since Rudolph and Yang were just submerged in a real hot tub in the other set, they’re asked by the new couple (I don’t remember who these are, maybe Garnder and Day?) why they’re soaking wet. Yang’s excuse: “I just did a water birth. Girl, respect yourself.” The doula’s excuse: “It was raining outside and I fell on my head. Girl, respect yourself.” At this point, their long, flowing tresses are now grey with age. Barry then turns and says to the doula, “It’s nice to meet you,” and she finally confronts him: “Aren’t you tired of being petty?”. Barry gives in and says, “It’s nice to see you,” and reminds her of their 50-year pact which is approaching the next week.
EXT. HOT TUB [26 years and 1 week later] The two marry in the hot tub (in makeshift wedding regalia) and Squirm gets in the hot tub to throw two babies at them.
\** Editorial note from sashalemon96: “I think the reason this one didn’t land as well as the one for Brunson is because (at least during dress) they throw the baby into the fire and it starts smoking screen creating laughter as they run to the other set. They also took a very long time to get back and from the hot tub set to the hospital set.”****
JAMES AUSTIN JOHNSON AS BRIAN COX [update character]
Jost tees this up by explaining that lately, Brian Cox has been in the news for his many controversial opinions, such as “Jeremy Strong being annoying” or “the Bible being the worst book ever written.” Brian Cox is fed up with the Kendrick LamaDrake beef. He refers to them as a pair of “second-rate poets” and acts mock scared that “K. Dot” will throw his Pulitzer at him. Che follows up with “What about Drake?” and Cox replied, “What is Drake going to do? Have his fans throw their fidget spinners at me?” Cox also expresses mock sympathy that they’re hurting each others’ feelings, before suggesting the two men “go to Iraq.” Che warns that Cox shouldn’t be talking shit about the two rappers, but Cox retorts “What are they going to do—blow my top off like the Boeing whistleblowers?” and then mocks Kendrick’s height. At one point Cox ends a sentence with “and that’s on God… who doesn’t exist, by the way.” Cox then throws some shade at Che for his inability to find a wife even though Jost married an Avenger, adding “can you not find a woman who wants your Ant-Man sized penis?”

SECTION 2: ORIGINAL DRESS RUNDOWN

1. COLD OPEN
2. MONOLOGUE
3. HOT ONES [recurring]
4. PDD: EXPLORE PAGE [pretape]
5. MOM NEWS ✂️
6. BARRY THE MIDWIFE [recurring] ✂️
7. CAN YOU PICK ME UP [pretape]
8. T.T. AND MARIO [recurring] ✂️
9. WEEKEND UPDATE: SQUIRM , GARDNER , JAJ ✂️
10. TIP TOP COFFEE
11. MOM JEANS [archival] [pretape]
12. TEACHER PSA
13. BRITISH CAVEMEN
14. NURSE APPRECIATION
15. LANDSCAPERS

SECTION 3: CHANGES FROM DRESS TO AIR

I’m gonna be so real with you guys, these days I’m so tired I just go home after dress rehearsal and sleep through the live show, so these changes are submitted by another friend.

1. In dress, Colin was specified to be wearing a “Stormy Daniels wig” during the monologue, in hopes that he could be in the political sketch about the Trump trials.
2. The original first excuse Rudolph comes up with in CAN YOU PICK ME UP was that the dead grandma didn’t want her funeral to interfere with work.
3. The joke about “Republicans in bed with Trump” was added afte dress.
4. TEACHER PSA didn’t originally end with Nwodim telling the girl to sit down. I don’t remember the original ending, but I remember it was kind of weak.

SECTION 4: SUNDRY NOTES

1. Ezra Koenig said “Hi, Maya!” right before they started performing.
2. There were a bunch of off-screen mistakes during the dress version of NURSE AD. Poor Fineman had the wrong cue cards when it came to one of her lines, and she looked genuinely terrified when trying to figure out what she was supposed to say. Then the camera cut to her when it was supposed to be on Rudolph and P. Johnson. Finally, she randomly had a sneeze attack during JAJ’s lines. I’ve never thought about what happens when you sneeze on SNL before, lol.
3. Interestingly enough, there were two cameras for LANDSCAPERS but only one set of cue cards, so Wally had to dash back and forth with the same set of cue cards every time we changed scenes. I’ve also never seen that happen before. Poor Wally!

Yes, I might be nitpicking/overthinking it. And yes, it doesn't really make sense. And yes I'm writing this at midnight bc I'm bored. But let me explain what I mean. The arguments, specifically the ones Blu and Jewel make no sense, as in how they started and why they started. I know that when I say argument, almost everyone, specifically @OrangeMacawWorld, will think about the Pit of Doom argument from Rio 2. You know how Jewel called Blu selfish because he felt unwanted by the tribe and wanted to leave, which is very understandable. Jewel was just a bitch in that movie, stg. But I never hear anyone talking about their argument in Rio 1, which also made no sense. Basic rundown, as I saw it bc to me it made no fucking sense. So Blu and Jewel are finally free from their leg chain and Jewel flies into the air, along with Nico, Pedro, and Raphael. Blu is jealous and disappointed bc he feels he won't be with Jewel anymore, as he cannot fly. This is another reason why I kind of hate Jewels character as a whole; she basically unintentionally rubbed it in thay she could fly and Blu couldn't. I don't know, that just rally bothered me, as it probably did for many of u too. Anyway, Blu walks away to find Linda, Jewel catches up to him, asking him what's wrong. That's when shit gets real, kind of. Blu says some stuff and eventually says, "I can't follow you around wherever your going." Then, for some reason, Jewel gets pressed about this. "It's not my fault you can't fly," she says defensively, basically acting like he insulted her, which Blu actually never does. Then they argue a bit, Blu leaves, Jewel flies away, and Ralphael goes after Blu while Nico and Pedro chase after Jewel. I like how in this argument, it's only Jewel saying th hurtful things, like calling him a "pet," and Blu is just stating actual fax. He never wanted to come to Rio, which is actually hinted multiple times. He doesn't belong in Rio, which I guess makes sense if u think about it in the way I did. Basically a domesticated bird doesn't belong with wild birds. And he hates Samba, which I honestly don't know shit about. Nothing about Jewel in particular. The only thing Jewel takes offense to is him leaving, at least I think she did. She seemed pretty upset, even crying quietly while flying away until Nigel captures her. While Blu just walks away, visibly frustrated/annoying with the whole ordeal. My friend called Blu a gigachad for this, which I somewhat agrees with although I don't know if it's the right word. bc while Jewel is upset, bc she eventually develops a crush on Blu and realizes that she might not see her again. But Blu doesn't seem fazed at all. Mostly annoyed about it. And considering that Jewel is supposed ro be the more aggressive and I guess "tougher" one its kind of ironic. About the second movie, Jewel just passed me off so much, to letting the tribe treat him like shit, to basically calling HIM selfish, which is the exact argument I mentioned in the beginning. Now I mentioned in a recent post that it's been a while since I've watched Rio 2, mainly bc I honestly didn't like it. Only the beginning of the movie to the "Beautiful Creatures" part is the most tolerable and enjoyable. Anyway, after a bunch of random shit happens, Blu scores his own point, which is the last straw for him and wants to leave. He and Jewel get into an argument about him leaving, bc maybe she thinks that he was going to do so, without her and the kids? Which doesn't sound like something Blu would do. I don't think he was even planning on leaving at all, just finding Tulio and Linda. This leads to Jewel saying, and I remember this quote perfectly, "You need to figure out what you want. And. Maybe. Stop thinking about just yourself, and start thinking about us." The she flies away leaving Blu with a hurricane of emotions. Number one, bitch who u calling selfish? YOURE THE SELFISH ONE! He agreed to come with u when u decided to go on a vacation. He agreed, albeit reluctantly, to move in to the forest for good. Did you forget what he did for her at the end of Rio 1? Literally saving your ass? Goddammit, I hated her character in this movie. She's the selfish one. Number two, Blu has every right to be wanting to leave. His father-in-law treats him like shit, along with the whole tribe. Roberto is constantly hitting on his wife. He isn't really fit for surviving in the jungle, and it shows, as he grew up domesticated. Hell, his own kids didn't really interact with him. Not to mention, he accidentally scored his own goal on a soccer match that costed the blue macaws the entire supply of Brazil nut trees, I forgot what kind they were, which is honestly embarrassing as shit (believe me I've done it, I suck at sports) I feel Jewel just didn't want to admit her wrongs in this movie. At least in Rio 1, she seemed to feel bad. In Rio 2, she doesn't rely own up. I guess the shot of her looking at Blu flying away kind of shows remorse but still. And before everyone starts shitying on Blu's character, yes I admit, he might have encouraged the arguments, unwillingly of course. But Jewel's the kne that said the nonsensical shit. How Blu's apparently selfish, and reminding him he can't fly. Yes I know that's true but she didn't have to remind him of something he was definitely self-conscious about, not like he forgot but more like she used it against him. Plus, Blu has actually neber insulted Jewel once. He lives her too much, especially in the 2nd movie. Props to him for keeping his cool. That's the reason the arguments make no sense, and it's pretty simple. She was selfish in the 2nd move, and kind of a bitch, and she was an asshole in the 1st one, mainly bc of her smart-ass remarks and sarcasm. Sometimes I wonder how the hell some of these lines and scenes, of Jewel being a bitch, even made it into the movie. And how it was even thought of to make these to characters, argue about the most petty things.
PS: it took me 2hrs to write this and I have severe OCD and ADHD, so thats why the writing kind of darts back and forth from one topic to another.

Race Information

• Name: Europe Marathon
• Date: April 28, 2024
• Distance: 42.2 km
• Location: Aveiro, Portugal
• Website: https://www.europemarathon.eu/
• Strava: https://www.strava.com/activities/11283605948/overview
• Time: 2:58:16

Goals

Goal	Description	Completed?
A	Sub 2:50	No
B	Sub 2:55	No
C	Sub 3:00	Yes
D	Have fun (Until the cramps)	Yes

Splits

Kilometer	Time
5	20:51
10	41:28
21	1:27:03
30	2:04:27
35	2:26:56
42.2	2:58:16

Background

Running feels natural to me. I played football (soccer) from a young age until 18 years old (now I am 22) and guess what? 2 of my biggest strengths were stamina and speed. Pretty useful for a runner I must say.
I started running in November 2022.
I ran without any formal training for almost one year, my runs were comical: I went outside, never warmed up and just ran at my top speed for a maximum of 5K, a lot of times just 2K or 3K. Listening to the splits on my earphones connected to Strava.
It was fun.
Then I started running 10Ks and hit a plateau. I never went below 40 minutes
(Note: Back then I was doing a bit of cycling as well and I still do it from time to time).
But one day I got enough of that, bought a sports watch and started doing some more serious training 3 weeks before my first half marathon in September 2023. Finished in 1:28.
My only thought during the race was: Why the hell didn't I start doing this earlier?
When I crossed that finish line something very special happened. I felt a powerful joy, something that I hadn't felt in a long, long time.
Something similar to scoring a decisive goal in an important football (soccer) game.
And that's when I got completely hooked on this beautiful sport.
After that I did some shorter races, including a 36:45 10k, and decided to sign up for my first Marathon.
Why?
The Marathon (and everything that is said about it) seduced me.
And to be honest there is, indeed, something special about the Marathon.
My running career had just started, so I thought a lot about whether I should do a marathon or not. With the knowledge I have today, I probably wouldn't have done the Marathon, but more on that later.
Here I was on the 1st of January 2024, ready to start my 17 week training block. With limited knowledge, no coach but a big desire to prove myself that I could do it.

Training

I came across a quote that best describes what Marathon training is: “The Marathon is the training, the race is the celebration”.
The difficult part is not running 42.2km on that day, the difficult part is running almost every day. Early mornings, after work, cold days, hot days, rainy days and windy days… Ahh the f*cking windy days.
And running is far from being everything. One of the things that tired me out the most was food. Thinking about what to eat, buying food, cooking food and eating an enormous quantity of food.
Fun fact: I gained weight.
Plus saying no to friends, going early to bed on a saturday, because there is nothing more important than the sunday long run, strength training and the daily soreness. One day you are feeling good about the progress made, but the next day you have a bad one and start questioning everything.
But you know what? I loved it. There is nothing better than that feeling of improvement week after week, learning about my body, pushing my limits, understanding the purpose of the workouts, going to bed tired and waking up to do it all over again.
And the truth is, if you don't truly enjoy the process of training you will never make it in this sport. It's all about the process.
I liked running before this training block, but after it I completely fell in love with this sport. That was without a doubt the biggest win of this Marathon Training.
My training plan was a mix of the 80/20 running book by Matt Fitzgerald and also Pfitz 18/55-70.
The bulk of the training was from 80/20 Running only because I had read this book first. After that, I read Advanced Marathoning, but I didn't want to change everything in the middle of the training plan so I just incorporated some of the Pfitz workouts.
My peak week was at 107km.

Training positives

I think the best thing of the 80/20 plans were the Hill Repeats. Up to 2 minutes of uphill running. Very different from what Pfitz recommends but I really enjoyed doing those and felt stronger afterwards.
One of the plus points was that I never got injured during training, apart from the usual discomforts I never had any pain that stopped me from running. All in all, I think I only missed three of the planned workouts because I felt tired and a bit sick. I was very consistent.
Despite this, I feel that there was a time when perhaps I could have put a little more stress on my body and that the training was too light. But it was my first marathon and managing training intensity and overall mileage isn't easy.
That's why I've adopted the following rule: “When in doubt, opt for less intensity rather than more.Tomorrow's training is always more important than today's”.
And maybe that's what prevented me from having injuries.
In February I did a 5k benchmark in 17:35 to see how I was progressing.
In March I did the only tune-up race. A Half-Marathon in 1:20:58. The goal was to hit sub 21.I managed it, but the race was difficult due to the hot weather.
Another positive point was doing a deload week every 3 or 4 weeks. I think that's more than Pfitz recommends, but these weeks have allowed me to rest, assimilate the progress and always stay away from burn out.

Training Mistakes

Looking back, I think my biggest mistake was making my long runs too short at the start.
At first I was afraid of increasing my mileage too much. For example, my first “long run” was 16km. I know it's stupid, at the end of the training block 16km was just a simple easy run.
Perhaps I should have done fewer kilometers during the rest of the week, but longer long runs from the start. Halfway through the plan I realized my mistake and increased the distance of the long runs more hastily instead of doing it so gradually.
I've only done 3 long runs with any considerable time at race pace (apart from the long runs with a fast finish). Again, different from what Pfitz recommends.
In general I liked the 80/20 running training plan, but my feeling was that I should have done more Tempo runs, VO2 max workouts and more long runs at race pace.
For example in the base building phase I did zero Tempo runs.The only key workouts were Fast Finish Runs, Speed Play and Hill Reps.
For my next marathon I want to follow 100% the Pfitz plan and see what happens.

Training Totals:

Run- Activities: 108 Km: 1333 Time: 110h
Cycling- Activities: 3 Km: 71 Time 4h
Strength Training- Activities: 32 Time: 12h
Yoga- Activities: 2 Time: 47m

Race

What could have happened without the cramps?
My realistic goal was sub 2:55, the sub 2:50 goal was just in case of a perfect day.

Pacing strategy:

• 4:05 km/min pace or something similar that felt easy until the half marathon mark.
• If I felt good, increase the pace a little bit until the 34 km
• At 34 km if possible try to go to the sub 2:50 if not maintain the pace to a sub 2:55

Starting at 4:05 km/min pace allowed me to feel good and still dream of sub 2:50 if I did a negative split
By the time I got to the half marathon mark, I was genuinely feeling very good and even decided to increase my speed slightly. I knew that sub 2:50 was going to be very difficult, but sub 2:55 seemed very realistic and I could do sub 2:54 or even sub 2:53.
But then something happened that I wasn't expecting at all.
I started having cramps. I'd never had a cramp since I started running, or anything like it. I could understand if I cramped up at km 37 or 38, but at km 29 was a big, big disappointment.
I accept that perhaps I went too fast initially, but I was genuinely feeling good and strong.
Looking back I think the most likely scenery was electrolyte imbalance. At the finish line my girlfriend said my face was white with salt
During the week, I increased my salt consumption, but I definitely should have supplemented electrolytes before and during the race. What is your experience with electrolyte imbalance?
It wasn't pretty from km 29 to 42. It was, by far, the most physical pain I've had to endure in my life.
I finally discovered the true pain cave.
I was constantly managing to get the fastest pace I could without tearing myself up. Every ramp, road bump and paving stones were pure suffering.
At that point, the only focus was to keep the sub 3 goal alive.
I knew that the average pace for a sub 3 marathon is 4:16km /min so I just looked at my average pace and tried to keep it as far away from 4:16 as possible.
Now I look back and can't understand how I managed to finish the Marathon in less than 3 hours. It was undoubtedly my hours and hours of training that pushed me towards the finish line.
I crossed the finish line and couldn't hold back the tears. I cried like a baby. A mixture of pain, emotion and a sense of accomplishment.
Unexplainable feelings, without a doubt one of the best days of my life.
I know I could have done better, but it was still an incredible experience of overcoming for a first Marathon.
One day I'll be back.

Post-Race

As I said, I had a lot of doubts about whether or not I should do a marathon. And the knowledge I gained during the preparation for this marathon showed me that with the running experience I have and my young age, I shouldn't be doing marathons yet.
I've been pushed to the Marathon by this running boom that we are living. Don't get me wrong I loved the Marathon experience, but now I want to learn the fundamentals of the sport and to do that I'm going to concentrate on the shorter distances.
I'm going to work on my speed, work on my running technique and set my personal records for all distances. And later I'll return to long distances and I also want to try ultra running. I want to do it all.
Unfortunately, the running community doesn't value short distances as much, but I'm very excited about what's to come. I've already signed up for an athletics club and now it's time to rest and then start preparing for an 800m race.
My main goal in running is firstly to enjoy the sport and secondly to push the limits of my genetics, to see how fast I can be over all distances
I know this post is long and thank you if you've read this far.
This sub has been incredibly useful during these 4 months and I'm sure it will continue to be.
Keep on running, my friends.
Made with a new race report generator created by u/herumph.

This post has been adapted from Eft Universe, written by Sonia Novinsky. It's a long post, but a brilliant case study proving psychotic disorders can in fact be healed.
Jacqueline came to me about 1 year ago. She had been diagnosed as a schizophrenic with auditory hallucinations, depression, and an inability to operate in social environments. Now, the hallucinations are gone and she is well adapted to society. Along the way, many other benefits occurred, including relief from anorexia and the cessation of smoking. Here’s the story.
She arrived in a very depressive state, saying to me: “This is my last chance. And all I can pay is 10 dollars per session.” It was impossible to refuse her desperate appeal for help. She said…
“For 9 years now, since my daughter was born, I am taking Haldol, Prozac and other medications because psychiatrists considered me an incurable schizophrenic patient. I’ve been sleeping most of my daytime during all these years. After a traumatic event when my daughter was born, I fell into a depression. I started listening to Mary’s voice (Jesus’s mother) [diagnosed by her former psychiatrist as an auditory hallucination] and I had some inappropriate behaviours, including a kind of anorexia, with hospitalisation. I heard about your work with energy and I want to try it. I believe that this could help me get rid of medication and my disease. The only reason I don’t kill myself today is because my religion forbids me to do it.”
At the first moment, she told me that she had a supportive husband and parents, and also wonderful children and that made her feel more guilty for being a mentally ill person. She complained of smoking too much, of having difficulty resting and sleeping. She said she was also 30 kg more than her ideal weight, partly because of the antipsychotic medication. During the last 9 years she had been afraid to drive a car; before her crisis, driving was normal for her.
The last psychiatrist she saw was very oppressive, telling her she had an incurable mental illness and would be obliged to take Haldol for the rest of her life. When she arrived at my office, she was very angry with all psychiatrists and therapists who took care of her during all these years. They gave her no hope: just labels and drugs.
Before investigating core issues, I worked for some weeks on our rapport, trying to help her on her self-esteem and trying to develop some trust in our connection. She was very upset with the kind of relationship she had with her psychiatrists and therapists. A hierarchy was always present, and she was the inferior part of it, all the time. Her objections about the treatment were never validated by them.
In this case, it is very important to stress how strong was her intention to get rid of any medication because they condemned her to be out of a normal life.
I will give a summary of the main topics we worked with in EFT. We did EFT hundreds of times. I do a free talk while tapping, in a way that I can’t reproduce here, introducing humour and installing new meanings and possibilities. She was entirely open to working with EFT.
We started working with the most apparent sensation she was having at the moment she arrived. In my experience, you can start with this state, even if it is not a core issue. When this layer is reached, even if you don’t clear it completely, it gives room for the traumatic memories to show up.
Meanwhile, you get the basic trust needed to work deeply. So we started working on her self-image and self-esteem.
While we were tapping, I installed some reframing about how I was one with her, no hierarchy between us, how we were together and no label separating us.
The result was important for the rest of the treatment: She trusted that she was not alone and that I was assuming a strong, deep, and personal commitment with her.
She disclosed that when her daughter was born she was very upset with some events and we tapped on them. The worst one (which launched her first psychotic episode) was her husband’s imposition that his mother should be the godmother of her daughter. When Jacqueline went to see her mother-in-law to invite her, her reaction was very negative. She said: “I accept to be the godmother but I will not receive your family in my house.” This was a traumatic event for Jacqueline.
She felt very unhappy, with no way out, and thus she had her first psychotic attack. She undressed completely at a soccer stadium full of people.
We tapped for this event, and many aspects showed up. We tapped for the shame and guilt of not having control of her behaviour. While she was narrating the event, I tapped on her. This is my preferred way of tapping specific events. This one was a very traumatic event, but finally her husband agreed to her demand that his mother would not do the baptism of their daughter.
Thus she was victorious in some way, but she paid a high price for this “victory”: From this day on, she carried the label of a sick person. Two months later, her mother-in-law died suddenly and that gave Jacqueline the illusion of having a mean power inside her, and that made her still more guilty. In some way, Jacqueline felt she had no control over herself but from another point of view she was afraid of having some extraordinary power.
Jacqueline wanted to drive a car again. She felt ready to try it after clearing her psychotic attack and its consequences*.* So we tapped for the fear of driving, first at my office, then in her car.
Some aspects of her fear were: fear of losing control, fear of hitting the car, fear of hitting some one on the streets, fear of killing someone.
We made a test. We went inside her car and tapped in the car for any aspect, like “heart jumping too fast,” “I am not able to drive anymore,” etc. With me at her side, in the car, she drove the car by herself. After a couple of minutes, she was very calm, driving the car. Since that day she has been driving the car with no problem, with her children. Sao Paulo (my home) has very dangerous and wild traffic. Many normal people don’t drive cars here. But she does it now.
Schizophrenia is caused sometimes by double messages received mainly during childhood. Since her birth we could find many situations where double messages were received. Clearing all these double messages of Jacqueline’s life, from her birth until now, it was essential to allow her to see everything in a different way and to create a more integrated identity.
Jacqueline was the first child. Her father (Italian origin) wanted only a male child. When Jacqueline was born her mother felt in some way not comfortable with the fact that she couldn’t give her husband a boy. At the beginning of her life, Jacqueline felt no holding, no sensation of being desired. Eleven months after her birth, her mother gave birth to a boy who received all the attention of the parents. Jacqueline was most of the time with a single aunt that had a strong passion for a Catholic priest at that time.
We tapped for all events and sensations Jacqueline could remember that were related to this belief of not being wanted, of not deserving love, of being guilty for not being the boy her parents were waiting for. The strategy Jacqueline found was trying to persuade her father that she was good enough like a boy would be, and to do so she became too close to him and that made her mother very jealous and ambivalent toward her.
Investigating it more, I discovered that when Jacqueline had her crisis, after the birth of her daughter, she was feeling guilty and not deserving of having two healthy children, a boy and a girl. This was connected with a specific and important event that we addressed in each detail.
When she was 18 years old, she was dating her future husband and she got pregnant. As she was very religious and she wanted to become a mother, she didn’t want to get an abortion. But her husband, Leo, said that he would stay with her only if she got the abortion.
She postponed it as much as she could. She felt under a big pressure. She didn’t want to lose Leo and didn’t want to lose her child. She talked with her parents and they agreed with the abortion. So she did it. It was a very traumatic event for her. She felt guilty for the abortion, felt enraged with Leo, who didn’t go with her to the clinic, and felt very uncomfortable with her father. After the abortion, he was very critical of her. Their parents were supportive on one side, but on the other they were very severe and full of deception.
We tapped for each aspect of this event: the blood she saw, the place where she lay down, the light of the room, the questions the doctor asked her, the ambivalent sight of her mother, the feeling of abandonment because Leo was not there, the guilt of killing a 4-month-old fetus.
We discovered that her anorexia was connected with the blood she saw at the abortion. From that day, she started feeding herself in a more balanced way and started losing the extra weight she had at the beginning of the treatment.
We could see at that moment how the mother-in-law event triggered the abortion trauma, guilt, and anger. When her husband made this second imposition to her, “My mother will baptise my daughter,” she fell apart and collapsed. From that day, she started hallucinating and having inappropriate behaviours. One manifestation of this behaviour was a passion for a Catholic priest (like her dear aunt in the past), who held her in a compassionate way at the church.
In my point of view, the main issue for Jacqueline was not being held since the beginning of her life, and this fact was repeated many times, maybe because the writings on her walls were like these: “I don’t deserve to be loved, I don’t deserve to be held, there is something wrong with me, I should be different to be accepted, I am inappropriate, I have some strange powers that can harm people, etc.”
What was interesting is that when we cleared all aspects of the guilt of the abortion, including the guilt of having healthy children and the guilt of being alive (she used to talk of suicide as a self-punishment), that same week her anxiety stopped, her voice became more calm, and she stopped smoking.
I think the most important piece of this therapy was the possibility she opened for me to have a deep rapport with her while tapping. She started believing that she was a person, not a sickness, and as far as this occurred, her own family started to legitimate her as a mother, a professional, and a complete human being. She felt the self-confidence to restart her professional life. For 10 years her family and Leo’s family considered Leo the best husband, almost an angel, and Jacqueline was the crazy one, the problem. The whole system around her changed when she changed.
Some months ago she gave me a long written testimony (in Portuguese), about her issues and her treatment, confirming some of the results I have written here. Her intention was to help other people who could profit from her experience. On one of the last days, she completed the testimony verbally. I quote her words:
“For the first time in my life I feel peace in my heart. I have difficulties with my son and with my husband, but they don’t disturb my peace. I want to live like a normal woman and like a helper, for this I am praying and serving as a volunteer in a hospital.
“For the first time people trust me again. I was elected to the directory board of my club, and possibly I will be a candidate for a public position in the near future. I am free from the obsession for the priest. I know it because I went to see him in the church and could see him only as the priest he is. I don’t need smoking or the voices I used to listen to. I can remember the abortion without guilt. I couldn’t have a child for myself at that moment. I feel free from the double messages my husband used to send to me all the time, saying he loved me but excluding me from his life and problems and pleasures. I feel ready to take care of myself, and to take care of my children. I am living each day, not anticipating the worst like I used to. The pressure I felt in my heart is gone. I feel as healthy as anyone in this life, even if I need therapy for some more time.”
In conclusion, I think that what was decisive was EFT plus the holding she felt because I could accept, without any judgment, her passion and fantasies for the priest, her wish to die, and her fear of getting crazy, and her deep pain out of any category or classification that could separate us.