So as the title says - I (27f) have been struggling with the thought of wanting to call things off with my fiance (31m). Now this thought is something that has crossed my mind almost daily since January of 2024.
I want to start off by saying that he genuinely is the most supportive, kindest, and selfless person I know. Anyone who knows him loves him and it’s because he truthfully is an amazing man. So that’s where I am feeling conflicted.
We have been together for about 3 years and got engaged about a year after being together. We still do not live together, nor do we have any plans for a wedding yet. This is due to both of us having a significant amount of student and personal debt. We want to square that away before jumping to the next step.
One part of our relationship that I have been struggling with immensely is our lack of intimacy. We have sex maybe once every two months. This happens after I speak up about it/feel like I have to beg for it, or if we have an event and are spending the night at a hotel somewhere. I have asked before if there is anything that is on his mind preventing him from wanting to have sex. To be transparent- he has been struggling with some health issues and he says it is affecting his sex drive. That part I understand and respect completely.
Part of me struggles with it because I know we are not living together- but we have the opportunity to engage in sexual activities at his house regularly and we don’t do that. It makes me worried for what the future holds, and the lack of sex is really starting to take a toll on me.
Other than the sex part - I sometimes feel like he doesn’t fully listen to what I say/pay attention. He often forgets things that I have told him, loose plans that we have made, etc. Taking this into account with the lack of sex has caused me to feel extremely disconnected to him, which is where the thoughts of leaving come in.
I guess some of my questions are, has anyone else struggled with something like this? If so, what did you do to help rectify the situation? Am I not being a good partner by wanting to leave for this reason? Any and all advice appreciated.

I got a Merino wool cardigan from Banana Republic for $30. It’s an excellent cool weather midlayer item and perfect to pair up with a rain shell and a long sleeve tee or polo. These Merino men’s “dress” sweaters have become a favorite for me and no need to go to the outdoor brands. Definitely a step up in formality from a fleece. Pair it up with a button down shirt and a tie and you’re the lord of the manor :)
This one is 12oz in a US men’s XL size. Hand wash and dry flat. Packs smaller than a fleece and great if you are cold on airplanes.
https://bananarepublicfactory.gapfactory.com/browse/product.do?pid=803845011

Hello redditors of antiMLM,
Just this week, I received an email from a relation advertising FOREVER—not to be confused with Forever Living. Searching through this sub, I found a few short references over the last years with little detail. In one, a commentor described FOREVER stating "as mlms go, it seems ethical." Every red light went off while I looked into these “FOREVER Ambassadors.” I then began a search, with much of the ultimate work done by my spouse. It took longer than seemed acceptable to identify this MLM for people who glanced over the internet. FOREVER is not listed on any of the MLM databases I could find from this sub or elsewhere. Based on the mandatory “FOREVER Ambassador Community” on Facebook, now 8 years old, at least 2,500 people have gotten into their clutches at some point (I haven’t linked because I think it might be against the sub rules).
Thus, for the benefit and enjoyment of the people, here are references for the community to identify a yet-another-multi-level-marketing scheme. I am a sarcastic person, so be forewarned. All sources were publicly available and required no logins or access.
TABLE OF CONTENTS
(1) Background of the FOREVER business model
(2) The FOREVER Ambassador program
(3) Costs of serving as an Ambassador
(4) Compensation advertised for Ambassadors
(4a) Income in cash from personal sales
(4b) The downline system used by FOREVER
(4c) Non-monetary-achievement compensation
(5) FOREVER Ambassador Business Training
(6) Conclusion down to brass tax on FOREVER
STUDY OF FOREVER
(1) Background of the FOREVER business model
FOREVER is an online service that advertises it can be a “permanent digital home that lasts for many generations.”[1] This is to be accomplished via a so-called “FOREVER Guarantee Fund” that invests to pay for digital storage for over 100 years.[1] Their website promises me that “permanent” is “not a buzzword”—I think that’s the Platonian ideal of a buzzword.[1] Regardless, this is not a quality review post.
(2) The FOREVER Ambassador program
The sellers used by FOREVER are called “FOREVER Ambassadors.”[2] As advertised, it looks like a classic MLM pitch. You can “earn up to 35%” commission” while having “the freedom to work from home, and the flexibility to make money on your own schedule.”[2] FOREVER lists various opportunities, such as “trainings” and the ability to “learn and grow with friends,” as well as “make life-long friends.”[2] As part of the “Meet our Team” webpage for corporate FOREVER, there are multiple “Executive Ambassadors” listed.[3] There is no barrier to entry on experience required to become an Ambassador.[4] I observed that, throughout the internet and on the FOREVER website, the vast majority of Ambassadors are women—as you know, many MLMs target women and moms.
(3) Costs of serving as an Ambassador
FOREVER has, at minimum, an “Annual Ambassador Fee” that is the primary cost to entry of the program.[2] For $179 a year, one would receive “back office tools,” various marketing materials, and “countless opportunities”—maybe money, but more on that soon.[2] There is a link to an Ambassador’s own selling website.[5, at 22] This Ambassador fee “is subject to change over time.”[5, at 25] There is also a FOREVER Merchandise store where Ambassadors can get their supplies.[6] These include a 40-pack set of catalogs for $44.99 and a $144.99 tablecloth for potential customers during in-person events.[6]
For Ambassadors, FOREVER advertises there are “free training events.”[5, at 25] Each year, for $399 in 2024, Ambassadors can attend the 3-day “FOREVER Live” event.[7] It is in the destination getaway of… next to their headquarters in Pittsburgh, PA (I’m sorry Pittsburgh, you’re a beautiful city).[5, at 24] It is also possible to pay for a “p2P Virtual Party” and “p2P Live Events,” but is unclear what those mean.[5, at 5] Various “ranks” of Ambassadors receive a “monthly stipend” starting at $25 a month after $15,000 total in personal plus team sales a year.[5, at 9]
(4) Compensation advertised for Ambassadors
(4a) Income in cash from personal sales
FOREVER pays its Ambassadors based on a “cash sales” versus “full sales” system.[5, at 5] The too-long-didn’t-read summary is that some products are paid less commission than others because of “margin” of different products.[5, at 5–6] Critically, the Personal Commission Rate is where our story kicks into gear. At the bottom, an Ambassador who sells less than $2,000 a year in sales receives the windfall of a 15% commission.[5, at 7] The number rises to 34% once sales are $90,000 or greater in one year (I don’t know where the 35% from earlier went).[5, at 7] However, to earn the 20% commission or more once one passes the $2,000 sales amount requires completion of the “FOREVER Ambassador Business (FAB) Training.”[5, at 7] I read it, more on that later.
You might ask, “Is there a sales quota for FOREVER® Ambassadors?” FOREVER says “no.”[8] However, the less one does the less FOREVER pays Ambassadors for what they do (this chart is older than the Compensation Guide cited).[8]
(4b) The downline system used by FOREVER
Of course, while it took forever to reach here, we come to the “downline” process—FOREVER’s words, not mine.[5, at 9] FOREVER immediately identified that new Ambassadors “choose another Ambassador to mentor you as you grow your business” (I do not know if this means an upline).[2] Nevertheless, “Team Sales” are compensated by FOREVER down to the 5th Line.[5, at 9] If an Ambassador does not build a team, then they do not earn Team Commissionable Cash Sales Commissions.[5, at 9] FOREVER states that getting new Ambassadors “to sign up under your name” is how you help “further your business.”[9]
However, even if an Ambassador builds a team, they receive a very restricted downline compensation if they do not make a minimum of personal sales.[5, at 9] For future reference, an “Associate Ambassador,” the bottom, makes less than $2,000 and earns no downline sales.[5, at 9] An “Ambassador,” second to last, is the first rank with a downline commission (4% for 1st Line), requiring $2,000/personal a year.[5, at 9] To reach “Senior Ambassador,” third to last, and above, a FOREVER Ambassador must start earning exponentially greater amounts of personal plus team sales to rise in the “ranks.”[5, at 9] A Senior Ambassador requires $8,000/personal but $15,000/gross, and is the first to get 2nd Line commission (4% for 1st Line and 2% for 2nd Line).[5, at 9] It is unclear to me if “new members” must be recruited “each month” to rankup—the website says so, but I see it nowhere in the Compensation Guide.[8]
At the top of hierarchy, there become two “Executive Ambassadors.”[5, at 9–10] These ranks start at $28,000/personal and $250,000/gross a year.[5, at 9] As well, one must have at least three “Team Leaders” in their 1st Line.[5, at 10] Team Leaders refers to Ambassadors who have themselves reached the rank of “Associate Lead Ambassador” ($12,000/personal and $30,000/gross).[5, at 9] FOREVER advertises that the Executive ranks are for—and I am not making this up—those Ambassadors who are “grooming FOREVER Leaders on your team below you.”[5, at 10] Irony is dead folks.
(4c) Non-monetary-achievement compensation
Because being paid to work is overrated, FOREVER will also provide “Additional Benefits” to its various ranks. As an Associate Ambassador, you can join the aforementioned Facebook Group and hear the CEO talk on a monthly phone call.[5, at 11] Regular Ambassadors also get a certificate to put on their wall.[5, at 11] Senior Ambassadors get a standing ovation at FOREVER Live!—you can even be ovated on stage as an Associate Lead Ambassador (I would pay $179 a year to not).[5, at 13–14] My observation is that a lot of ranks mostly provide additional types of standing ovations at FOREVER Live! and reserved seats for dinners there.
But then you can reach the pinnacle of Everest (that much like the real one, other people just carry you up there): the Million Dollar Club.[5, at 20] For making $1 million in personal and team sales in a year, one will earn a single $10,000 dollar bonus.[5, at 20] If you are then a “top-performing Ambassador,” one can be taken on the “Achievement Gathering,” to Jamaica in 2024, to mill around with other top-performing Ambassadors—and the corporate staff.[5, at 24] There is no mention how many people earn it or how much must be earned.[5, at 24]
(5) FOREVER Ambassador Business Training
I mentioned earlier that Ambassadors must complete a “FAB” training to receive more than 15% in commissions.[5, at 7] To hit this post home, I wanted to identify some highlights. The FAB training has 5 Steps to reach regular Ambassador status.[10, at 4] These Steps include such activities as “Meet with your Upline” (Step 1), “Connect with your Upline” (Step 2), “Meet with your Upline” (Step 3), “Meet with your Upline” (Step 4), and “Meet with your Upline” (Step 5).[10, at 7, 10, 12, 14, 16] You also have to join the FOREVER Facebook group and any created by your Team (just “ask your Upline” to find it).[10, at 6–7] There’s a task in Step 2 to create an introductory “Share List,” with five lines each for “Friends,” “Teachers,” and your own “Parents/Grandparents.”[10, at 7–9] For an unclear number of hours, you must attend multiple weekly and monthly “training opportunities” and “calls.”[10, at 6–7, 10] And one last item, to rank up in FOREVER, you must register for an upcoming event.[10, at 12] As of writing, the only one listed on the linked webpage is the $399 FOREVER Live! conference.[11]
(6) Conclusion down to brass tax on FOREVER
I was unable to find an Income Disclosure Statement for FOREVER. However, basic math tells us that an Associate Ambassador, the bottom, can only earn up to $300 a year.[5, at 11] To reach regular Ambassador, which includes signing up and beginning all the time sinks listed above, the maximum personal commission is $1,200, in addition to whatever downline (however big those are on average).[5, at 11] Without a downline, even the top-bracket personal sellers are the only ones to earn more than $30,000 a year.[5, at 7] The Federal Reserve Bank of St. Louis estimates that the Real Median Personal Income in the United States for 2022 was $40,480.[12]
There is one way to make it with FOREVER: to build a downline. It’s a multi-level-marketing scheme, and no one should join it. Unless of course, you want to join my downline—I promise you'll be rich just like me.
LIST OF REFERENCES
[1] “Our Story,” FOREVER.com (accessed May 18, 2024), https://www.forever.com/our-story
[2] “Become a FOREVER Ambassador,” FOREVER.com (accessed May 18, 2024), https://www.forever.com/opportunity
[3] “Meet Our Team,” FOREVER.com (accessed May 18, 2024), https://www.forever.com/our-story/team
[4] “What is required of me as a FOREVER Ambassador?,” FOREVER.com Support (accessed May 18, 2024 [updated “2 years ago”]), https://support.forever.com/hc/en-us/articles/215823437-What-is-required-of-me-as-a-FOREVER-Ambassador
[5] Ambassador Compensation Guide, FOREVER (Jan. 31, 2024), https://www.forever.com/app/users/forevealbums/ambassador-kit/f3ii4wzeewd0nfwg4nb40kyw1/files/1043b0c6-de01-4aff-a1e3-83db7e6b1b17
[6] “FOREVER Merchandise,” FOREVER.com Ambassador Training (accessed May 18, 2024), https://www.training.forever.com/store
[7] “FOREVER Live! 2024,” FOREVER.com (accessed May 18, 2024), https://www.forever.com/events/forever-live-2024
[8] “Is there a sales quota for FOREVER® Ambassadors?,” FOREVER.com Support (accessed May 18, 2024 [updated “2 years ago”]), https://support.forever.com/hc/en-us/articles/215142548-Is-there-a-sales-quota-for-FOREVER-Ambassadors
[9] “Downline,” FOREVER.com Support (accessed May 18, 2024 [updated “2 years ago”]), https://support.forever.com/hc/en-us/articles/221072448-Downline
[10] FOREVER Ambassador Business Training, FOREVER (May 14, 2024), https://www.forever.com/app/users/ambassador-training/albums/02-forever-ambassador-business-training-booklet/qcg622q43zy6835w9ojq3wkw/files/f0bd2387-bb14-43a2-a46d-344a91470147
[11] “Events,” FOREVER.com (accessed May 18, 2024), https://www.forever.com/events
[12] “Real Median Personal Income in the United States,” Federal Reserve of St. Louis (accessed May 18, 2024), https://fred.stlouisfed.org/series/MEPAINUSA672N
EDIT: A few formatting errors and other minor corrections.

In hindsight, I should have known something was wrong with The Caeles Academy of Acting.
Maybe the fact that it doesn't exist to the outside world.
This place prided itself on famous alumni it didn't actually name, and a once in a lifetime opportunity to work with the best in the business.
It's what I wanted.
More than anything.
After enduring four years of high school with barely a semblance of a drama club (we met every month, and our teacher was an alcoholic), and countless failed auditions, I was ready to take my acting career seriously. I had one year.
According to my parents, I had one year to make a living from my passion.
If it didn't work out, I would be on the first plane back to Connecticut.
It's not like they didn't trust me. I think they were just scared I wouldn't be able to financially support myself. So, I got a job right out of high school and slipped a year. Drama schools are expensive, and college’s are cut-throat on who they take on. I found Caeles Academy by accident–or, I guess it found me?
After researching cheap drama classes, auditions, academy’s, literally anything to progress my career, an ad popped up.
Not exactly flashy.
Just a date, a time, and a promise that they only take the best. I ignored it, but throughout the week, I started getting more ads. Just the words, “IMPRESS US - - JOIN CAELES ACADEMY NOW.”
Followed by, “BE WITH THE BEST, AND BE THE BEST. JOIN THE S CLASS NOW.”
When I googled the academy, nothing came up.
I gave up, clicking on the ad, which sent me straight to an application form.
I filled in my details as more of a joke. But I wasn't expecting to get an email back. Again, it was a time, a date, and that exact same tagline: “Impress us.”
However, Caeles Academy was different from what I imagined.
I was expecting a university building, or at least some modern structure. Judging from their marketing and ads, I figured they could at least afford decent premises. Though I was mistaken. When I stepped out of the Uber, I found myself staring at what looked like an abandoned office tower, a red-brick monolith in the middle of nowhere.
Which was crazy, because I swore a girl wearing a bikini had strode through the doors, with nothing but her phone, and a coffee tucked under her elbow.
According to the text sent from the academy, the auditioning rooms were on the third floor.
Tipping my head back, the checkerboard of broken windows didn't exactly instil confidence. Neither did the clunky set of automatic doors that took a while to open. It was a summer's day, and the heat was already baking through my dress, sweat sticky on the back of my neck.
I wanted to make a good impression, but the heels were a little over the top.
Though I had also seen a girl casually walk in wearing a two piece bikini.
“Well?”
Freddie’s voice made me jump. I forgot I was on the phone to him. I was excited the whole car-ride, already high on five coffees, and now I was silent. If I perceived the ‘academy’ from an objective standpoint, it definitely looked like the perfect place to be brutally murdered. But my own personal opinion was it was.. okay.
“What's it like?”
I pretended not to see a rat scuttling under an old candy wrapper.
“It's… fine.”
“Just fine?”
I could hear the smirk in my friend’s tone. He couldn't wait to tell me it was a scam, and had been reminding me all week I was essentially willingly selling myself to the black market. I was stubborn, so, fine sounded better than my initial first impression. Which was to turn around, walk away, and completely block the place from my memory.
Unfortunately, at that moment, I valued my pride over my awareness.
“It's… okay.” I said, trying to find positives. I was staring at a looming grey building with shattered windows and a resident rat living near the door. I had a hard time figuring out how the girl from earlier had just casually strode inside, barefoot too. I glanced down at the ground, immediately regretting it.
Like there weren't bits of chewing gum and grime stuck to the concrete.
“Huh.” Freddie said, his tone creeping into teasing territory. “You're really selling it.”
“It just looks like a building,” I said, my gaze glued to the rat, who looked a little too comfortable. Maybe it was a pet.
I was getting progressively more infuriated the more I stared down this place. Judging from the decades old writing ingrained into the door, it used to be a dentist surgery. “What do you want me to say?” I wasn't even trying to hide the scorn from my voice. “It's a building that looks like an academy.”
“Can you send a picture?” Freddie asked, “Ooh, wait, I'll face-time you.”
“That's, uh, that’s not really necessary–”
I was cut off, suddenly, when a guy threw himself through the automatic doors, palms first. He took two stumbled steps forwards, one back, and lifted his head, half lidded eyes on the sky, before dropping to his knees and heaving up pinkish froth. I could see him trying to hold it in, slamming his hands over his mouth, only for it to splurge through his fingers, showering the ground in greyish pink froth.
Like he'd downed a bottle of Pepto Bismol.
Inching towards him, I realized it was Pepto Bismol.
The stink made my own stomach churn.
“Missy?”
I found my voice. “Uh, can I call you back later?”
Before my friend could answer, I ended the call, slipping my phone in my pocket.
The guy was still heaving, coughing up globules of pink.
“Are you okay?”
The sound of my heels click-clacking on concrete made me cringe. The guy noticed, flinching away. Closer, and I could see his scraggly blonde hair.
He was handsome.
Without the bile spewing down his chin.
Early twenties, wearing a fitted white shirt now covered in streaks of bright pink. Part of me wanted to make a half-hearted joke, but getting even closer, so close I could smell his pepto-breath, I noticed he was trembling, his hands clenched into fists.
When I attempted to awkwardly pat him on the shoulder, he twisted around, so fast, my morning coffee slithered its way back up my throat.
His eyes were wide, almost feral, studying me like a wild animal.
I noticed the whites of his pupils were red, like he'd burst a blood vessel.
Theatre kids were intense, though I had never met THIS kind of intense.
“Are you… going in there?” The guy’s voice was a child-like whimper I wasn't expecting.
It looked like he was slowly regaining clarity, staring down at his filthy shirt, his hands stained bright pink.
I nodded, uncertainly, offering him my water. “Yeah. Did you audition?”
He shoved it away, slapping himself in the face. “I… I don't know.”
“You… don’t know?”
Suddenly, it was like something had contorted in his expression, a switch being pulled. I wasn't expecting him to twist around so fast. The guy slowly cocked his head, his lips breaking into a grin. His eyes, however, stayed the same.
“Of course I've auditioned.” He said, with a laugh.
“It was the best experience of my life! His mouth formed an almost mocking frown.
“Unfortunately, I didn't make the cut. Which is a real shame. I'm sure Caeles would have benefited from my talents.”
What was weird, is that his mouth was moving, but he wasn't even looking at me, frenzied eyes caught in an oblivion I couldn't see.
When he did look at me, his expression crumpled all over again.
Pepto jumped to his feet, brushing himself down.
I couldn't take his over the top smile seriously, when his eyes were screaming, hollowed out caverns silently begging me to listen.
This guy was fucking crazy.
“Wait.” Pepto whispered, when I turned to walk away.
He pulled out his phone, tapping the screen before shoving it in my face.
“I HAD SO MUCH FUN AT THE CAELES ACADEMY AUDITIONS :)
When I could only stare at him in confusion, Pepto’s gaze flicked to his phone, swiping bile from his lips.
His eyes went cartoon wide, like he couldn't believe what he himself was typing.
“That… that's not what I was trying to say!” He tried retyping it, but the guy was just writing strings of emoji hearts.
I didn't know what to say. I had dealt with rejection before, but I had never gone this far. Pepto was having a full on mental breakdown, his body shuddering, teeth chattering, blinking eyes and lips parting as if to speak, but choking on his words. When he started clawing out his hair, I took the opportunity to make a quick getaway.
Before I could make it to the doors, though, Pepto jumped in front of me, waving his phone directly in my face.
“Just…” he pointed at the screen. “It won't let me…” Growing frustrated with himself, he let out a wet sounding sob, clawing his fingers through his hair. “Fuck, it won't let me…it won't let me type! It's not letting me type!”
By now, he had tufts of hair stuck between his fingernails. I don't know why his first reaction was to immediately try ripping his hair out.
A quick glance at my own phone reminded me of my own audition that was in five minutes.
Meanwhile, I was dealing with what I was pretty sure was delusion, denial, or a mixture of both.
I was considering pushing past him, when Pepto’s phone screen hit me in the face. Again.
This time, though, there was coherent writing.
“FIND LUKE.”
“Luke?” I said. “Who's that?”
“Luke!” The guy was bouncing on the heels of his feet. “He's my…” Pepto drifted off, his eyes going vacant, as if I could physically see his brain being plucked from his skull. Pepto dropped his phone, and I grabbed it before it could hit the ground. His hands went to his curls, clawing, scratching, until he was drawing blood across his forehead.
“I… I don't know! I can't… I can't remember. Luke. He was my… he was my… I don't know, I can't… I can't–”
I stumbled back when he let out a shriek, scratching at his face.
“Fuck!” He whimpered. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!”
Pepto grabbed my shoulders, shaking me, his fingers digging into my skin.
“I don't know who he is.” He gritted out, pink froth pooling from his lips.
Pepto broke out into a sob. “I don't… I don't know who he is, but you can find him, right? You can… you can find…”
Again, he trailed off mid sentence, his hands going limp around my shoulders.
I managed to side step him, swallowing a cry.
“Yeah, I'll, um, I'll find him for you.”
Pepto backed away, suddenly, stumbling over himself.
His gaze found mine, vacant, like a baby deer.
“Find who?”
I didn't wait around to answer him, pushing through the doors and stepping inside.
The interior was unsurprisingly even worse than the exterior.
The elevator was broken, so I had to run up three flights of stairs.
I expected at least an attempt at an academy, even in the dregs of an old dentist surgery.
What I got, though, was a never ending staircase, obnoxious photos of teeth greeting me on every level.
The third floor was… less clinical.
I strode directly into a waiting room filled with college aged students, either sitting on plastic chairs, or standing around, rehearsing.
The room itself was cosy enough, a navy carpet and a TV playing a random Twitch stream.
Situated in the middle, was a desk with a bored looking woman behind it.
Her smile was fake. I could understand her pain. She was stuck in a room with theatre kids all day.
“Sign here.” She prodded a sheet of paper.
I was convinced her voice was AI.
While I was scribbling my details, I took a moment to notice the stark difference from the kids entering the room, to the ones leaving. The kids entering wore wide, confident smiles and were social butterflies, chatting amongst themselves.
The kids leaving reminded me of pod people.
They left the room silent, in an orderly line with dazed smiles on their faces, like they weren't sure where they were.
I watched one guy walk directly into the wall instead of taking a left toward the exit, and a girl straight up just toppled down the stairs.
The kids waiting with me named them rejects.
I wasn't convinced until I glimpsed an empty bottle of Pepto Bismol sitting on the floor by the window.
Thinking back to Pepto, that made a lot of sense.
I was still dazedly staring at the bottle, when my name was called.
Jumping to my feet, I did my best to calm myself down, straightening my ponytail. Pepto had really screwed with my head. I could barely even remember the lines I had been rehearsing for a week straight.
I was muttering my lines to myself, when I stepped through the door.
The door that apparently turned you into a pod-person on the way out.
For a moment, I thought I was blinded by stage lights.
It was so bright.
The glow bathing me was clinical, stabbing into my eyes.
When I blinked, I found myself standing in front of three shadows sitting in front of me.
Their chairs were made of leather, far different from the plastic ones in the waiting room.
So, they did have filthy cash.
I was looking at one man, and two women.
They were… average?
I expected them to be more glitzier, but they were just regular people.
The man was in his late twenties, maybe early thirties, a stiff looking brunette wearing a suit and tie, one leg crossed over the other. His eyes were narrowed slightly, lips curved into the start of a smile. Like I amused him.
The women were polar opposites.
One of them was my Mom’s age, grey hair and floral clothing. She took a sip of water, her gaze burning into me.
Google told me not to be intimidated by their stares, but it was impossible.
These people were carving holes into my skull.
Sitting next to her, a younger girl who seemed to own the color red.
Her hair simmered, blood red, while she herself was sculpted in a dress, perfect cherry lips spread in a wide smile.
With a little too many teeth.
They studied my face like I was already theirs, drinking in every inch of me.
Freddie said I had to find a weakness in their expression and use it to my advantage.
If I could find the prick of a genuine smile, I could become their favorite.
“Hi!” I said. My caffeine intake was starting to take effect.
I didn't realize I was bouncing up and down until I caught myself.
Red’s smile stretched wider.
Maybe they liked my eagerness.
“My name is Misa.” I introduced myself, staying casual, keeping my arms by my sides. “I'm twenty one years old–”
I choked on my next words when Red spoke up. “Impress us, Misa,” Her voice was a smooth, almost seductive rasp, and I felt myself fall into it, enveloped in sugar that was too sweet, and yet I couldn't stop myself. She folded her arms across her chest, her gaze challenging me to do something different. To make her want me.
“Show us something we have never seen before.” She stood up, cat-like eyes narrowing, “Show us how desperate you are to join this prestigious class.”
I nodded, and began.
I had planned a whole monologue, practised it over and over again, forcing Freddie to judge me with a none biassed opinion.
I was three lines in, when Red started laughing.
“Stop.”
I did, my cheeks heating up, and she started clapping.
“Sweetie, oh, stop, you're adorable!” She said, her lips curving into a cruel smirk.
She leaned forward, like I was something that entertained her, jostling her heeled foot. “We don't take amateurs. I think you need to go back to school.”
This woman was definitely a psychopath.
Empty eyes sparkling with a gleam that definitely enjoyed humiliating candidates, and a twisted smile that was a little too wide. Red made me want to crawl into the ground. She made me want to turn around, leave the room, and quit my dream. I was aware of my own fury, my embarrassment turning my cheeks crimson. I matched her.
Maybe that's what she wanted all along. To wear the color of her victims.
Taking a shaky step back, I started to nod, started to agree, my mouth choking with the words, “You're right. I'm sorry for wasting your time.” I had never received proper constructive criticism from a professional standpoint. Which meant I really did suck. But I didn't move. I didn't want to move, and Red continued laughing, her companions sitting in silence.
The man rolled his eyes with a loud, exaggerated sigh.
Like I was boring.
The older woman pulled out her phone.
“Misa, you are…cute.” Red said. “But you're not quite what we are looking for.”
I wasn't sure I could admit it right there, but she made me feel things.
Like I was ignited.
Like I was going to prove this crazy bitch wrong.
I found my voice, strong and confident, despite my hammering heart.
“Give me another chance.”
Red’s lips curled. “So cute, Misa. Oh, sugar bear, It would be better if you left the room. Unless you want to embarrass yourself further! In that case, be my guest!”
She turned her attention to her nails, nudging the guy.
“Dinner?” She hummed. “I'm thinking of Italian. You are quite the wine connoisseur, Nicholas. Why don't you introduce me to your favorite?”
“Hey.” I blurted.
They ignored me, getting a little too close.
I don't know why I continued, reading my lines, screaming them, so I would be heard. I read them perfectly, and tweaking the genre from drama to romance, and then to horror. I became three different characters, a high school girl struggling with cancer, a final girl, and a woman going through a divorce.
I was fucking perfect.
But they weren't listening to me, caught up in their own conversation.
I tried again.
And again.
And again.
By now, I was on my knees, my fingers ripping into my hair. I was seeing red.
“We want originality, Misa,” Red said, sucking her teeth.
Her voice crawling into my skull was enough.
She still wanted me.
The thought polluted the back of my mind, taking a strangling hold. She still wanted me. When I lifted my head, Red wasn't looking at me, her gaze on the table grains. “Show us something new.”
I got to my feet, panting, my breath in my throat.
I became a screaming, strangled mess, a woman who lost her baby.
Red’s interest was piqued. Only slightly. Through my fraying vision, she slowly turned in her chair. “Again.” She clapped her hands, “Come on, Misa! We want new! We want never been fucking done before! Are you deaf?”
I couldn't stop the sobs escaping my mouth.
They lost interest again, right in the middle of my reading.
“Why can't you look at me?” I found myself spluttering.
When the man pulled out a bottle of water, I pulled off my heel and lobbed it at his face.
“Look at me!”
He did. Slowly. His gaze found me, for perhaps the first time.
Not as an amateur, but as a potential candidate.
Around the twentieth attempt, I started to laugh. Never been done before? I could feel my fingernails already in my scalp, clawing chunks of my hair out.
Reality contorted, and I felt myself drop to my knees. I was still laughing, spluttering, sobbing. I could still hear her in my head. Never Been Done Before. I started slowly, dragging my fingernails down my face until I felt the harsh sting.
“Again.” Red said, and her voice led me to stare down at my hands, at pinkish flesh glued to my bones, fleshy mounds.
So easy to tear. I didn't even feel it.
Only the sudden, unbridled euphoria of biting into my own skin, locking in my jaw, and ripping into myself.
When I tore it from the bone, warmth filled my mouth, and I was choking, guzzling down my own flesh, mulling it in my mouth and swallowing.
I can't remember how I got so deep, and why I didn't stop.
Why I didn't fucking scream.
But it didn't matter.
Red was standing up. She was clapping, her lips spread into a grin.
Her applause filled me with stars.
So, I ripped my hair from my scalp, a hysterical giggle escaping my lips.
She loved me.
I could see her jumping up and down, clapping.
Louder, and louder.
Her applause controlled me, twisting and contorting me into hers.
I didn't even think. I wanted to impress her, and doing this was doing just that.
My fingers were delving into my right eye socket, clawing my eye out. It didn't even hurt. Not with her thundering applause that was deafening, beautiful, an orchestra in my ears.
When I was semi conscious, my eye was crushed in my hand, but my vision was still mine, almost too clear. I could see streaks of red blurred between my lashes. My hair was caught between my fingers. But I wanted to do more.
When I stumbled to my feet, Red’s smile was so beautiful.
The man, however, looked horrified.
“Someone bring in the one of the successes,” Red’s voice was a shrill giggle, “Bring him in!” she clapped her hands together, and I spat out a fleshy thing. “I want to see them together! I want to see the future in front of us!”
Footsteps coming towards me in slow, shuddery thumps. I looked up, and a shadow was dancing around me.
When I slowly rose to my feet, I half realized I’d bitten my toe off. The shadow had a face, a boy who was younger than me. I think he used to have hair, but half of it was gone, half of it was still stuck between his fists. When I found his eyes, I found twin caverns instead.
Eyes that were still physically there, and yet there was no life.
No spark.
I was staring at a dead body, a flesh puppet who had lost his strings.
When he grabbed my hands, pulling me into a waltz, I caught a smear of scarlet trickling down the back of his neck. When I followed it upwards, his head was covered, slick, dripping with red.
Like me, he matched her too.
And he was beautiful, she told me, her push, her thunderous applause, guiding me into a waltz.
His feet moved, perfecting every step, and my foggy mind couldn't understand why. He matched my every move, the two of us floating across the floor.
My feet knew the steps before my mind.
How could he dance? I thought, dizzily.
How could he dance, when smeared scarlet followed his twisting, and turning and pirouetting feet?
Because underneath that swimming clinical light, the back of the boy’s head had been carved away, a perfectly sculpted cavern where his brain should have been. I could see the severed stem, where it had cleanly plucked out.
His fingers cradled in mine were wet. Swimming in blood.
His own blood.
Spinning round and around, I imagined myself as a princess.
I saw an 18th century ballroom lit up around us. Glittering smiles and glasses of champagne, long, flowing ball gowns.
I blinked, and my head was tipped back, gliding in blood once again.
When he pulled me to his chest, I stumbled, and a name came to light.
Luke.
I had found him.
Our finishing spin left me hard to breathe.
My body was broken, ripped into, and yet somehow not.
By the time we were finished, the two of us bowing, my mind was full of fog.
Cotton candy.
“Congratulations!” Red’s smile was inhuman, stretching right off of her face.
“You're in the S class!”
I was led through a door that wasn't the one I entered from. Inside the room were a dozen or so students, kneeling on the floor. They were missing parts of themselves, like unfinished puzzle pieces.
I dropped onto my knees next to a girl without a head. I could only see her torso, but I knew she was smiling.
Looming over us, was the goddess Athena drenched in blood that was still wet.
Dripping, pooling from every crevice of her dress.
Looking closer, this statue was moving.
Something sickly crept into my mouth.
Her right eye was human, a twitching eyeball sandwiched inside the stone.
It didn't match her. It was wrong, horrifying, like a painting, a real human eye struggling to focus on us.
And then, my own gaze found the statues head, where a real human brain had been forced inside perfect white, pink, greyish mush dripping down the sculpted, slender neck.
I could see where it had been pushed, pulverised through the stone.
The statue’s singular eye found me.
Its dancing pupil jumped up and down.
Before it blinked.
Next to me, Luke was on his knees, as if in prayer.
I can't remember leaving the room.
I just remember running.
Back down the stairs, stumbling, staggering over myself.
I was screaming by the time I reached the doors.
They opened, as usual.
But I couldn't get through. I tried, but I was slamming into something I couldn't see.
Pepto was still waiting outside. The sky was dark.
When he saw me, he stumbled over, slamming his hands into the glass.
I couldn't even understand myself. I was just fucking screaming.
Pepto held up his phone.
“DID YOU FIND HIM?”
I shook my head.
“No.” I lied.
I can't tell him the truth. I don't even know what it is.
“I can't get out!”
Pepto nodded slowly, typing something and showing me his phone.
I'm getting you both out of there. I think I know how I can get inside.
It's been 3 days, and Pepto is yet to return.
I’ve tried multiple times to cry out for the H word. But it won't let me type it.
Please H me. I need to get out of this place.
Fuck. Get me OUT OF HERE.
Classes start tomorrow.

Spoiler alert: I texted him last week saying we’re likely incompatible (for other reasons, not the walking) and noticed that he’s become physically distant.
In all our previous dates, he seemed really into me, would walk beside me, would offer his arm, and even be mindful of my steps when we’d walk on a dirt path. After coming back from a 2-week trip, I noticed on our date that he would walk ahead of me into the venue. It wasn’t so bad then but it was noticeable enough that I would trail behind and watch him, hands in his pockets, but he’d wait for me until I could catch up.
I brought it up to him that night and told him I’d appreciate it if he held my hand while walking. He agreed and said he’d do it.
Then last week, I noticed the distance become farther. When we were walking, he would be almost a block away from me and sometimes he wouldn’t even turn to check for longer periods of time. It really made me realize how important physical touch was to me as a love language and I didn’t like the feeling of being with him, because I didn’t feel like I was at all.
Like I said, I texted to end things on good terms and his response was he wished me the best as well. I’m just curious to know if this has this happened to anyone? For anyone who have dated men like this, what was your experience?

Asalamualaikum,
First I’d like to say that Allah swt forgives all sins no matter what. He is the most merciful, forgiving and compassionate.
The reason why I’m saying the below is to give you guys another thought to think about before committing sins.
Let’s think about smoking. Some schools of thought say it’s haram and some say it’s makhruh and others find.
But let’s take a step back and think. When you smoke, the others who inhale it get the worse end of the stick as it’s just as bad for them even though they’re not smoking. Not only that if you get cancer or a weakened body or whoever knows what else but any disease or issues from this. This puts more strain on doctors who could be busy helping out others who have had conditions that came naturally if that makes sense. Look in the UK at the NHS, they’re swamped with people on drugs, addicts and all sorts. It’s unfair on them.
Let’s look at zina, when you commit zina with a man or woman. You’re effecting them mentally too. You’re practically getting intimate with them and letting them know it’s fine to sleep around which could affect their future marriage and people they meet and it’s a never ending cycle. On top of that STDs, getting them and that effecting others too.
Both of the above actually affect your family too. Commiting zina makes you naturally more aggy and lazy. Smoking makes you smell and can also change how you feel. Hence it can effect the way you act around others
There is many other ways I can talk about other private sins effecting others but I’m just putting this out here to help others try more to stop what they’re doing inshallah
Jazakhallah khair

Hello everyone. I’ve come to Reddit as a resort to not knowing where else to go. For context, I’m a 25 year old college student living at home with a father who has prostate cancer. He was diagnosed about two years ago after prolonging his doctors visit for body pains after assuming it was pain from a prior car accident. By the time he finally went, he was already stage 4. I’ve had other family members who have had different forms of cancer, so, I’ve seen the physical and emotional toll that accompanies having a sick family member. However, I’ve never experienced something like this that’s this close to me, witnessing the decline in health day-by-day.
I’m writing this post because I feel absolutely helpless, and I’m not sure what more I can do. He’s currently a vegan, and we’ve tried herbal remedies (sea moss, black seed oil, sour soup leaves, etc, with no results. We’ve tried alkaline dieting but found that it’s hard to maintain, especially when he becomes deficient in nutrients. He’s lost 50+lbs in two months because he cannot keep any food down. And as we speak, he is in excruciating pain. The cancer spread to his bone and there’s multiple tumors in his spine and skull. The doctors have put him through multiple treatment’s and medicines like xtandi, pain killers, chemo, etc. Just seems like there’s nothing that’s keeping his psi levels down. I can’t help but to blame the overall American health care system when he’s taken all these treatments with no results, and the immunotherapy Keytruda treatment that could help save his life is denied by insurance.
I mentioned my age and that I was a student because I am not established with a career yet, and I have no clue on how to handle any of this emotionally and financially. I have a job that makes me about a little under 3k a month, it’s not much, but I can’t leave my job because it’s paying for my university tuition. After all expenses (rent, insurances, groceries,etc) I can’t help out any more financially. Ive cut back on useless spending, going out/eating out, and am starting to get into debt ($1.5k) after helping with family expense’s. I’ve thought about picking up another job, but I’ve been doing 15 credit semesters to try and hurry my graduation process (about 1 year left) so I can get a career to help my parents out. The workload is a lot, I shamefully admit that I have to abuse my ADHD medication just to keep up with work, caretaking, and school. I feel horrible even talking about my problems, but emotionally I cannot handle this. I don’t sleep often because of school and the anxiety over the possibility my father will passes. If he passes, I don’t even know how my mother and I will manage. My mother and step father just got married over a year ago, and after all my mother has gone through, for her to finally find her person and to lose him so soon breaks me.
This whole situation isn’t about me, so my problems are way less important compared to the life of my father. That’s why this feeling of helplessness is unbearable because it’s not a matter of wanting to do more, I need to do more for the sake of his life and my mom.
I ask for your advice and opinions on whether I should pause university, and strictly focus on a job that could sustain my family better, or continue with school and pick up a second job and just try to make it work? How does dealing with a sick family member manage emotionally? Also, if there’s any possible resources for prostate cancer treatments, and any sources that can help with the finances? Thank you so much in advance. I wish nothing but good health and a happy life to all of you regardless if you respond or not.

Has anyone ever conquered Zecora’s Resistance as Tambelon? My divisions disintegrate immediately upon taking a step into the Everfree but unlike the Changelings, there isn’t a way to alleviate the attrition. I know you can complete the world conquest without it, though it does feel disappointing that there isn’t a way to actually defeat them

Just needed to get this out.
My (31F) boyfriend (28M) of 8 years has ended things with me. We’ve lived together for 4 years, and we got on so well - went on regular dates, holidays, didn’t argue a lot and I genuinely thought we had such a happy, healthy relationship.
He said a month ago he thought he wanted to break up with me despite being in love with me still, and wanted to go to therapy and work through it.
Tonight he’s told me it’s over. He said he doesn’t want to commit, he thinks we’re on different paths. But that he still loves me - which I think hurts more.
I’m devastated because he never mentioned any of this to me before. I don’t know what to do or what our next steps are, I feel numb but also feel overwhelmed at the same time.
Lying in bed just trying to process this. No idea what to do now. We’re supposed to have a trip away for two nights on Thursday to see a show, and we both still want to go together but I don’t know if that’s a good idea or not. In fact, I know it’s probably not but it’s so hard.
This sucks.

The Shimmer, I.
Quietly as a mouse, Ian crept through the hallway of his shared flat. He could see the faint bluish glow reaching out from under the crack under his flat mate's door. "One step to the right, two forward, far left," Ian thought to himself. This was the pathway through the creaky hallway so he would not alert his flat mates to his nightly escapes.
"It’s not that they would care," he deliberated to himself, "but knowing me, I'm definitely not sneaking a girl in here," and Ian didn’t want to have to explain that his nightly trips had nothing to do with booze, girls, or anything his flat mates would really understand.
No. Ian was on his way for the umpteenth time, to the campus apiary.
He had gotten quite good at sneaking through campus without being spotted. A near run-in with campus security on his first trip, and Ian quickly found out that black was the optimal color to wear when sneaking about, and his knees had now grown accustomed to the frequent crouching he would be taxed with, in order to earn his nightly prize.
The apiary was no short trip from his flat. It was situated far from the main campus on the outskirts of the property lines to the east of the lake and in the heart of a small clearing; a gateway to the 120 acres of forest that stood ominous and ancient behind it.
Finally outside, Ian closed the front door without making a sound, slowly allowing the doorknob to reset into the locked position. The warm, late summer air greeted him, tinged with the early crispness of fall. "Perhaps a sweater next time," he said to himself, making a mental note, and off he went along his well trotted path to the guardians of the forest.
The apiary tool shed housed the bee suits and Ian expertly slipped into his, his caution heightened, aware that he now stood out against the dark night, as an eerie white shadow against a canopy of darkness. He took careful steps to ensure he would not disturb any of the other winged residents on his way to the old trees at the edge of the forest, where he first witnessed it - the otherworldly shimmer of the great honeybees.
Noone knew this but Ian, because typically honeybees follow a normal circadian rhythm just like their mammalian counterparts - awake by day and asleep by night. But this hive was different. Ian had sensed it the moment his eyes locked upon it the day the beekeeper introduced his new obsession to him. These bees did not sleep by night. They were just as alive in the pale and quiet moonlight, as they were during the heat and busyness of the day. As he approached, he felt the bees could sense his presence, and to Ian, something extraordinary. As he slowly approached the great hive, he was greeted with a slow, deliberate shimmer, one that seemed to say, "Greetings, friend."
Ian slowly crouched and bowed his head, keeping his eyes locked onto the great hive, which seemed to respond to his gesture. As he gazed upon it, his heartbeat increased, he could feel the blood rushing through his ear as he tried to remain perfectly still, determined to not break his almost motionless position. Then, a new shimmer rippled out from the center of the hive, one that pulsed rapidly outward, as if the hive were becoming more alert. Ian knew that his was the sign he needed - permission. Ian kept himself low and ever so slowly, moved toward the almost inaudible pulse of the buzzing, until he was directly beneath the behemoth branch itself that the great hive loomed from.
Underneath the ancient arms stretched out toward the horizons, Ian places his back against the wide trunk of the great oak tree and slowly closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, allowing the low pulsing to enter his senses, lulling him into a state of calm he had never known before.
"Hello, Ian," said an insect-like voice inside his head.
Stay Tuned - The Shimmer, III.

I (30M) Had my second EMDR session yesterday I had nightmares all night after and today I feel like very few steps I feel like I’m falling for just a moment, but it’s keep happening over and over. When I’m just sitting down it’s like I’m being hit with waves of memories and sexual abuse in the face over and over. A lot of things came up that I hadn’t remembered and the disregard I had for myself and just letting him do anything he wanted to me, and the terrible situations I got into after. Is this normal to feel this way after this?

As you might be surprised to learn (depending, that is, if you were literally born yesterday or suffered a TBI last week), the GRU saga never ends. The City Commission has decided to place local control of GRU on the ballot this fall—first reading passed unanimously, second reading set for 5/23:
https://www.alligator.org/article/2024/05/city-commission-gru-control-ballot
Less surprisingly, there is significant disagreement between the City’s attorney and the Authority’s (who is also the city of Newberry’s) attorney on whether or not this initiative is even allowed per the relevant rammed-through statute (link for those not allergic to the Main Street Bible Beat, with more details): https://www.mainstreetdailynews.com/govt-politics/gainesville-ballot-initiative-gru-authority
Meanwhile, Meatball Ron has reappointed the GRU Authority board, featuring local celebrity Ed “Is That A Ponytail? Really? And It's Not Ironic? Okay...” Bielarski. Can’t wait to see what these guys cook up. If recent experience is any indication, it will be extremely informed, sane, and measured. Fingers crossed there will be spreadsheets based on non-GAAP principles (or at least Facebook posts) that PROVE Jesus Himself drove a UHaul into our fair city about seven or eight years ago from Illinois or something.
https://www.mainstreetdailynews.com/govt-politics/desantis-appoints-5-new-gru-authority-members
In other news, Chuck Clemons and Keith Perry, two of the absolute worst pieces of sodden rat-gnawed festering garbage this community has ever produced, are term-limited. It’ll be interesting to see the array of local creatures that crawl out from under our many rotten logs to replace them.

By David North
On April 25, 2024, Bogdan Syrotiuk, the 25-year-old leader of the Young Guard of Bolshevik-Leninists (the YGBL), a socialist-Trotskyist organization active in Ukraine, Russia and throughout the former USSR, was arrested by the notorious state security service of the fascistic Zelensky regime, the SBU. Bogdan is being held in atrocious conditions in a high security prison in the city of Nikolaev (Mykolaiv), which is located in southern Ukraine.
The International Committee of the Fourth International (ICFI), the world Trotskyist movement with which the YGBL is politically affiliated, has finally obtained the actual documents in which the SBU presents its charges against Bogdan Syrotiuk. These documents, which form the basis of his detention, make absolutely clear that Bogdan is the victim of a monstrous state frame-up. The allegations concocted by the SBU are a crude combination of lies, obvious fabrications, and political absurdities.
Moreover, the documents submitted by the SBU are directed not only against Bogdan. They are nothing less than a declaration of war against all left-wing and socialist opposition to the Zelensky regime and, specifically, the International Committee of the Fourth International and its public organ, the World Socialist Web Site.
The central allegation leveled against Bogdan Syrotiuk is that he is guilty of high treason. The basis of this charge is that Bogdan has been for the past two years “engaged in the preparation of publications commissioned by representatives of a Russian propaganda and information agency, the World Socialist Web Site” [emphasis added.]
The World Socialist Web Site is denounced as an instrument of “an active information war against Ukraine” being waged by Russia, which

uses the so-called “left-wing” propagandists and their information platforms (websites, media and social platforms) to discredit the support of Ukraine by international partners, justify Russia’s armed aggression against Ukraine, accusing Western countries of creating conditions under which Russia was forced to launch the so-called special military operation, fomenting wars in Ukraine by providing it with weapons, etc. As a result, they are used by Russia to systematically convey pro-Kremlin narratives to the population of Ukraine and Ukraine’s allied countries…
Since the beginning of Russia’s full-scale invasion of Ukraine, the World Socialist Web Site “WSWS” has regularly published articles in various languages aimed at discrediting Ukraine and representatives of governments around the world for assisting Ukraine in its fight against the aggressor state.

The ICFI’s opposition to the US-NATO war in Ukraine is an essential element of its political program, deeply rooted in the socialist and internationalist principles of the Trotskyist movement. The attempt of the Ukrainian regime to portray this opposition as an instrument of Putin’s propaganda network is as viciously mendacious as it is politically absurd. The intransigent opposition of the International Committee of the Fourth International to the Putin regime—which emerged as a consequence of the Stalinist bureaucracy’s final betrayal of socialism and the restoration of capitalism in the former USSR—is a fundamental political fact that is substantiated not only in written texts numbering in the hundreds, but also in the exhaustively documented activity of the Trotskyist movement spanning decades.
True to its fascist character, the Ukrainian regime is operating on the basis of the well-known precept of Hitler and his propaganda minister, Joseph Goebbels: “The bigger the lie, the more readily it will be believed.”
In this particular case, the Zelensky regime seems to believe that the scale of the SBU lies are of such a magnitude that they will simply overwhelm the thinking public. It thus expects that public opinion will accept that the Putin regime is directing the work of the WSWS, which the SBU indictment describes as

an online publication of the world Trotskyist movement, the International Committee of the Fourth International and its affiliated sections in the Socialist Equality Parties around the world, which covers the main socio-political problems around the world from the position of revolutionary opposition to the capitalist market system, with the aim of establishing world socialism through socialist revolution.

At no point does the SBU attempt to explain the contradiction that wrecks its case against Bogdan, i.e., that the political principles that he upholds as a socialist and internationalist opponent of wars waged by the capitalist ruling class are irreconcilably hostile to the policies of the Putin regime, including its invasion of Ukraine.
It attempts to evade the contradiction by simply lying. The indictment claims that Bogdan’s activities, “acting on the instructions of a representative of the World Socialist Web Site,” consisted of “supporting and justifying the conduct of the Russian aggressive war on the territory of Ukraine…”
Every word is a lie. The opposition of the ICFI, its affiliated organizations, and the WSWS to the Russian invasion, in line with its hostility to the Putin regime, is a political fact that is documented in hundreds of articles that have been posted since the first day of the invasion.
On February 24, 2022, the day of the Russian invasion, the ICFI posted a statement on the WSWS titled: “Oppose the Putin government’s invasion of Ukraine and US-NATO warmongering! For the unity of Russian and Ukrainian workers!” It began:

The International Committee of the Fourth International and the World Socialist Web Site denounce the Russian military intervention in Ukraine. Despite the provocations and threats by the US and NATO powers, Russia’s invasion of Ukraine must be opposed by socialists and class-conscious workers. The catastrophe that was set in motion by the dissolution of the Soviet Union in 1991 cannot be averted on the basis of Russian nationalism, a thoroughly reactionary ideology that serves the interests of the capitalist ruling class represented by Vladimir Putin.
What is required is not a return to the pre-1917 foreign policy of tsarism, but, rather, a revival, in Russia and throughout the world, of the socialist internationalism that inspired the October Revolution of 1917 and led to the creation of the Soviet Union as a workers state. The invasion of Ukraine, whatever the justifications given by the Putin regime, will serve only to divide the Russian and Ukrainian working class and, moreover, serve the interests of US and European imperialism.
In the two major statements that he has made during the past week, Putin has justified his actions by enumerating the provocations and crimes of the United States. There is, no question, much that is factually true in his denunciation of Washington’s hypocrisy. But the viciously anti-communist and xenophobic ideology that he invokes and the interests that he claims to be defending are thoroughly reactionary and incapable of appealing to the broad mass of the working class in Russia, let alone in Ukraine and throughout the world. A substantial section of the working class in Russia and Ukraine will be repelled by the cynicism of Putin’s glorification of the heroic struggle waged by the Soviet Union against Nazi Germany in World War II while denouncing the October Revolution and the existence of the USSR as a multi-national state.

The ICFI insisted that the socialist opposition to imperialism was incompatible with any form of national chauvinism, and, therefore, rejected all the justifications given by the Putin regime and its apologists for the invasion. Their invocation of “national defense” could not be accepted by socialists. The defeat of imperialism and its overthrow was possible only through the revolutionary struggle of the international working class. The ICFI statement cited the words of Trotsky: “Not to bind itself to the national state in time of war, to follow not the war map but the map of the class struggle, is possible only for that party that has already declared irreconcilable war on the national state in time of peace.”
The ICFI called “for an immediate end to the war,” and explained: “In opposing the invasion of Ukraine, we denounce the policies of US/NATO imperialism, whose claims to be defending democracy and human rights are blood-drenched with hypocrisy.”
This political declaration elaborated the principles and policy that have guided the work of the ICFI and WSWS since the war began.
On February 26, 2022 the International Committee held an international webinar, in which its opposition to the war was emphatically advanced. Among the speakers, in addition to myself, were Nick Beams, a longtime leader of the International Committee’s Australian section, Johannes Stern, a leader of the ICFI in Germany, Thomas Scripps, a leading member of the ICFI’s section in Britain, Joseph Kishore, the national secretary of the Socialist Equality Party in the United States, and Evan Blake, another leading member of the SEP (US).
The ICFI has never wavered from the principled opposition to the policies of NATO and Russia that it advanced in the first days of the war.
The relationship between the ICFI and the comrades of the YGBL coincided almost exactly with the outbreak of the war. They were attracted to the ICFI precisely because of its opposition to both the war and the national chauvinism of the Russian and Ukrainian regimes.
The SBU indictment charges that the World Socialist Web Site assigned to Bogdan “the task of preparing, writing, editing and publishing … both on the WSWS website and other communist-oriented media, articles, publications, comments, etc. aimed at spreading pro-Russian narratives related to the armed aggression of the Russian Federation against Ukraine, which began on February 24, 2022, to which [Bogdan Syrotiuk] gave his voluntary consent.”
In support of this claim, the SBU references a YGBL statement titled, “For the organization of an international movement of workers and young people against war!” It claims that this document, posted on the World Socialist Web Site on October 12, 2022, includes “fragments, statements, sentences and phrases… which contain justification of the armed aggression of the Russian Federation, which began in 2014…”
The actual document clearly exposes this claim to be a lie. There is not a single sentence in the YGBL declaration that indicates support for the invasion of Ukraine. The SBU cites selectively from the document, including passages only from numbered paragraphs 4, 7, 8, 10 and 13. Paragraphs 4 through 8—the SBU interrupts the continuity of the YGBL’s analysis by leaving out paragraphs 5 and 6—provide a concise Marxist explanation of the objective capitalist crisis and political aims that underlay the instigation of the war by the United States and its NATO allies. They state:

1. The new world order that the United States wants to establish looks like this very possible picture: Russia and China are to be subordinated to imperialism and divided, if that is necessary to maintain direct control over their natural, industrial-technological and human resources.
   
2. The European imperialist powers support the United States for their own place in the new redivision of the world. At the same time, European imperialism, while placed on rations by the United States, sees a way out of its economic and geopolitical predicament only in a redivision of the world in which it can regain its former greatness.
   
3. Japan, South Korea and Australia support the US only as much as it suits their interests in the struggle against China in the Pacific region. These countries will support the US as long as it allows them to compete with China. The process of dividing spheres of influence will revive the contradictions between the Pacific capitalist powers, which are as much in limbo as Europe.
   
4. The crisis of 2008 revived class struggles around the world. The Arab Spring of the early 2010s is vivid evidence of this revival. It forced US and European imperialism to take more decisive measures. In 2014, they supported a coup d'état in Ukraine. Through this coup, the US was able to create all the conditions to build a bridgehead in a future war against Russia.
   
5. The Covid-19 pandemic that erupted in 2020 exacerbated the contradictions of capitalism and was the trigger for a more rapid expansion of US imperialism in preparation for war against Russia and China. The US embarked on a more provocative path of abandoning the “one-China” policy, and increasing its support for Ukraine, as expressed in the NATO summit in August 2021, which supported Zelensky’s “Crimean platform.”
   

Significantly, the SBU leaves out paragraph 9 of the YGBL declaration, which presents a scathing indictment of the Putin regime. That paragraph reads:

The reactionary regime of Vladimir Putin emerged from the treacherous dissolution of the Soviet Union by the Stalinist bureaucracy and the restoration of capitalism. The policies of Putin, in the final analysis, are aimed at safeguarding the wealth of the post-Soviet oligarchy against the pressure of Western imperialism from above and, even more critically, against the movement of the Russian working class from below.

The SBU does cite paragraph 10, which continues the critique of the Putin regime, stating:

Within this geopolitical and social context, Putin’s adventurist invasion of Ukraine on February 24 was the Russian oligarchy’s response to NATO’s relentless expansion to the east. The Putin regime’s main objective was to achieve through the pressure of its “Special Operation” a new round of talks with the US-NATO, since the last round ended up crossing “red lines” on the part of the US-NATO, which caused Putin’s invasion [emphasis added].

The characterization of Putin’s invasion as “adventurist” is in no way compatible with what the SBU claims to be a “pro-Russian narrative.” Obviously recognizing the fragility of its attempt to portray the YGBL statement as pro-Putin propaganda, the SBU decided against further citations from the document, leaving out the YGBL’s development of its denunciation of Putin’s policies in paragraphs 11 and 12, which assert:

1. The Russian bourgeoisie’s desire for an “equal partnership” with the West was one of the most utopian delusions. This delusion, historically derived from Stalin’s policy of “Popular Fronts” and then “peaceful coexistence,” developed among the fledgling class of Russian capitalists in the 1990s.
   
2. The Putin regime has not gotten rid of this utopian delusion. Its whole policy has been to maneuver and seek compromise with the West, with whom the Russian oligarchy wanted to be “on equal footing.” Except that Western imperialism, with its conquering ambitions for Russia, did not care about these conciliatory tones of Putin’s regime.
   

The SBU also chose not to cite paragraph 17 of the YGBL statement, which declares:

The course of the war after Putin’s invasion of Ukraine increasingly emphasizes the reactionary nature of this invasion. While claiming to be fighting for the independence of the Russian people from the threat of Western imperialism, Putin is in fact only defending the independence of the Russian oligarchy to exploit the Russian working class and the country’s raw material wealth.

Paragraph 18, which is also left uncited, further demolishes the SBU’s indictment of Bogdan, the YGBL and the WSWS as instruments of Russian propaganda. The paragraph asserts that

the Putin regime has no way out of the current crisis for Russian society. It will not have such a way out in the future. All of the military and political activities of the Putin regime will only contribute to the escalation of Western imperialism and the deterioration of conditions for the Russian, Ukrainian and international working class.

The SBU also failed to cite paragraphs 19 and 20, which presciently warned of the catastrophe to which the war could lead.

1. The prospects for the present war, when thought within the framework of the capitalist system, are very bleak. First, this war will take on a long-term character and will not only be fought between Ukraine and Russia. It is the first step in inflaming the world situation to the point that the threat of a third world war is simply inevitable. All countries of the world will take part in the future war.
   
2. Secondly, the nature of the war will be determined by the policies of the ruling classes, which now stand on a blatantly anti-human position. The ruling classes are recklessly moving toward the use of nuclear weapons in the conflict, thereby creating the real possibility of a nuclear Armageddon. The specter of planetary destruction arises from the insane policies of imperialist and capitalist governments. The recklessness of the ruling capitalist elite compels young people to ask whether they will be allowed any future at all.
   

The SBU specifically cites this document as proof of Bogdan Syrotiuk’s treasonable activity. But the text of this document conclusively refutes the charge that Bogdan and the YGBL are advancing a pro-Putin narrative.
Moreover, and most decisive, the Ukrainian regime does not present a scintilla of evidence to substantiate its absurd and lying claim that the World Socialist Web Site is a “Russian propaganda and information agency.” With this filthy slander, the Zelensky regime betrays—notwithstanding the ongoing war with Russia—the lingering influence of Stalinism’s rabid hatred of Trotskyism. As in Russia, the transfer of power in Ukraine from Stalinist bureaucrats to capitalist oligarchs has not required any change in the methodology of the political police. The same techniques of fabrication and slander, utilized by the Stalinist regime against Trotskyists in the era of the Moscow Trials and the terror of 1936-39, remain operative in Kiev.
Bogdan Syrotiuk stands accused of treason and faces the threat of a life-long prison term that is the equivalent of a death sentence. But the allegations against Bogdan are based entirely on articles and speeches he has posted on the World Socialist Web Site, in which he has declared his opposition, as a socialist internationalist, to the capitalist regimes of Zelensky and Putin and the ongoing war that has cost hundreds of thousands of Ukrainian and Russian lives.
The SBU indicts Bogdan for advancing in his speeches and writings posted on the World Socialist Web Site “which are accessible to everyone in the world, including citizens of Ukraine” information that exposes the reactionary character of the Ukrainian regime and the war.
The SBU declares that Bogdan’s “criminal actions were stopped only with the intervention of a law enforcement agency.” What a devastating self-exposure of the claims that the US-NATO proxy war is being waged to defend democracy in Ukraine.
The reality is that Ukraine is a fascistic dictatorship, which applies police methods to stop the expression of popular opposition to the policies that have brought untold suffering and death to the people.
The arrest of Bogdan Syrotiuk comes precisely at a point of mounting popular opposition to the Zelensky regime. On May 18, a new and vastly unpopular mobilization law that will vastly expand the recruitment dragnet of Ukrainian military goes into effect. Even the New York Times has expressed doubts about Zelensky’s ability “to find new troops to relieve a weary, often demoralized force.”
In an article posted on the World Socialist Web Site on April 30, Maxim Goldarb, a Ukrainian socialist who has been persecuted by the Zelensky regime, reported: “More and more Ukrainian men are desperately trying to flee the country, unwilling to die for someone else’s selfish purposes.”
He added:

It is not the rich minority, but the poor majority—the unemployed, workers, peasants, teachers, doctors, office workers—that will be sent into the bloody meat grinder. Now, with the adoption of the new law, the number of men deprived of basic human rights, who will be captured and hunted down like animals and sent to the front, will increase many times over.
The profits of those who benefit from this war will also increase many times over … These huge profits will be divided up between the military-industrial complex, its lobbyists in the American and European establishment, and the Ukrainian oligarchic top brass.

Bogdan Syrotiuk’s life is in danger. In the environment of terror that exists within Ukraine, he is deprived of all means to defend himself. Efforts to obtain competent legal representation have been undermined by government threats against defense lawyers. No less than five attorneys have declined to represent Bogdan because to do so would expose them to significant physical danger.
The significance of the fight to defend Bogdan and secure his freedom extends beyond Ukraine. His incarceration is yet another example of the growing international assault on democratic rights as imperialism escalates its military operations throughout the world. The political conspiracy to destroy Julian Assange set into motion a process that is replicated throughout the world.
Those who oppose and expose the crimes of the imperialist regimes are targeted for persecution by the state. The assault on basic democratic rights—first and foremost, freedom of thought and speech—is always justified on the basis of lies.
The opponents of Israel’s genocidal war against Gazans are denounced as anti-Semites, even when the protesters are Jewish. In the denunciation of Bogdan Syrotiuk as an agent of Russia for opposing the proxy war in Ukraine, the same lying method is at work.
The real reason for the arrest and persecution of Bogdan Syrotiuk is that he is fighting for the unity of the Ukrainian, Russian and international working class against the ruling capitalist elites of all countries. As Comrade Andrei Ritsky of the Russian branch of the Young Guard of Bolshevik Leninists explained so eloquently in a speech delivered at the May Day 2024 celebration held by the International Committee:

The only “crime” that Bogdan committed was his conviction that Ukraine can become truly free only through the independent struggle of the Ukrainian working class, acting together with the international working class against imperialism and war. He advanced a principled political position based on a Marxist understanding of the war, opposed to the fanatical worship of Ukrainian nationalism as well as the reactionary Russian nationalism of the Putin regime. Like our entire movement, he has fought for the unification of workers in Russia and Ukraine with the workers in the imperialist countries, to put an end to a fratricidal war that has claimed the lives of at least half a million Ukrainians and tens of thousands of Russians.

He concluded his remarks with a declaration of the fundamental perspective that underlies the work of the Fourth International:

No bourgeois regime is capable of resolving the crisis other than through war and destruction, because any other way would be contrary to its fundamental capitalist interests. The contradictions of capitalism cannot be resolved within national borders and on the basis of a defense of private property. Only the international working class armed with the program of world socialist revolution will be able to put an end to the wars and resolve the fundamental crisis. To do so, however, it must fight for its unity with its brothers and sisters around the world.

The International Committee of the Fourth International calls for a global campaign to demand the immediate release of Bogdan Syrotiuk from prison. The fight for Bogdan’s freedom must be taken up by workers, students and all those who are committed to the defense of democratic rights and opposed to the escalation of imperialist wars that, unless stopped, threaten humanity with a nuclear catastrophe.
Join the fight to Free Bogdan. Circulate this statement as widely as possible on social media. Bring this case to the attention of co-workers, fellow students, and friends. To sign a petition demanding Bogdan’s release, contribute funds toward the defense campaign, and become personally active in the fight for his freedom, go to wsws.org/freebogdan.

A friend of mine is recently single after two years. And I cannot deal with him. I love my dear friend but there are boundaries. He text me all day and tried to plan intimate outings with me. He’s tried to plan a two person trip Disney. He’s trying to come to my house all the time. I’ve actively told he needs to branch out to other people because he’s draining. I have a job and hobbies that I can’t do because he demands all my attention. I understand he’s single and he has time that he didn’t have before but I didn’t ask for this. I told him while he is a close friend that he needs to give me space. I feel like I’m dating a clingy and needy girl. I recently went out with my bf and my friend was blowing up my phone with messages saying that he loves me and sending heart and kissy emojis. My bf was honestly really upset and I explained to him the situation. He calmed but it’s an elephant in the room. It’s honestly uncomfortable and he’s not listening and my next step is to block him

This time every year (before covid) would be the ramping up of E3 hype. What surprises are coming? Who will win? Will Nintendo ever talk about the vitality sensor again?
Without e3 I am a bit nostalgic for the discourse that used to accompany early summer gaming, so I want to see if we can do a bit of it here.
The reality of gaming is this: ”Shrinkflation” started in gaming and we never talked about it. For years, we paid $60 for games that reused assets, gave us less, and delivered far less at launch than what we paid for in the past. It’s become so rare that a game out delivers its price tag that when it happens, it’s instantly in GOTY talks and the game awards wants at least 5 segments dedicated to it. Sadly, in the current state of the world and cost of living, gaming has become a luxury for some and the industry is having to scale in according with the lack of wallet share left to spend on non essentials. I don’t foresee how this gets any better because greed and the almighty drive control the highest level of governance and when it comes down to spending $10 on a battle pass or $10 on a load of bread and lunch meat, we can never fault someone for doing what they must. That example is exactly why gaming has become a luxury, what we used to get for $60 in a game is now $70 for a game plus $10-$30 in battle passes or dlc. What you used to get for $60 at the grocery story is likely double that now.
If E3 2024 was on roughly 6 weeks, the equation on my mind would be: What can the big 3 do to win your limited dollars? Here is my thoughts…
PlayStation - the console war is dead. Xbox has had to overspend to even remain relevant and that is because for years now Sony has delivered MUST play titles that appeal to a variety of gamers. Most are first party but some third party titles have helped, whether it’s Spiderman, Helldivers 2, Final Fantasy, or Ratchet and Clank, the Sony seal means that you are getting an experience worth your time invested. The decision to create the portal was Sony learning from their past hubris and acknowledging that catering to gamers needs and lifestyle is a winning strategy. What does Sony do next? Keep it up. Deliver more games, continues to win the critical argument over must play titles, and as media expands and Sony can branch out there, the chance to be the logical “in” point for new gamers is wide open for PlayStation.
Nintendo - the switch has been a success and with the successor around the corner, Nintendo has a chance to right a critical wrong. Add more power to the console and really embrace the 3rd party competition for gamers. From the Wii, even to the WiiU, to the switch, Nintendos winning strategy is innovate, excellent first party titles, and be the family console. These are all still critical for Nintendo to stake claim in the future but moving forward it’s time for Nintendo to evolve their first party. Pokémon is a classic but it’s time that pokemon takes the next step with polish, difficulty options, and replay value. Mario kart and Smash really provided best in class gaming on the switch and the next iterations of both should do no different. Even if smash is something like ultimate X with all content in one package, there are some lay ups for Nintendo to make sure year 1 of the new console has some clear wins. The real equation for Nintendo is whether they invest in online to stop being an after thought. Don’t twist my arm but if the first year of the new console ended with a rare remake of Diddy Kong Racing or BanjoKazooie3… well we can only wish so much
Xbox - rare is it that you could see so many public failures without heads rolling at the top of the corporation. Xbox really has to deliver on game in the next 3 years or they should no longer be in this depiction. Xbox has one future at this point and it’s game pass. Game pass as an option on all consoles and PCs should be the topic of discussion. It might be time to think of Xbox in the past tense and start calling it Microsoft games… because games and game pass are the only real options without some sort of world altering changes at Xbox. So what so they do? Simple, stop publishing shit game and using the excuse that it went on game pass so people didn’t technically buy it. Just like marvel, the only path forward is to find the level of quality with the releases from a past era and earn back the trust of gamers. If not, big box retailers just got ahead of the curve by removing physical media of Xbox because it should not exist much longer. Microsoft has a bottom line to protect plain and simple. If the winning strategy is for PlayStation users to be able to play Halo on game pass on their PS5, make sure it’s through game pass. We are past the point of asking when it gets better for Xbox and the real question might be does it get better?
Gone are the days of E3 hype, gone are the days of I am Reggie with Nintendo… now are the days of… I want to hear from you about things.
Cheers, have a good weekend all.

Quietly as a mouse, Ian crept through the hallway of his shared flat. He could see the faint bluish glow reaching out from under the crack under his flat mate's door. "One step to the right, two forward, far left," Ian thought to himself. This was the pathway through the creaky hallway so he would not alert his flat mates to his nightly escapes.
"It’s not that they would care," he deliberated to himself, "but knowing me, I'm definitely not sneaking a girl in here," and Ian didn’t want to have to explain that his nightly trips had nothing to do with booze, girls, or anything his flat mates would really understand.
No. Ian was on his way for the umpteenth time, to the campus apiary.
He had gotten quite good at sneaking through campus without being spotted. A near run-in with campus security on his first trip, and Ian quickly found out that black was the optimal color to wear when sneaking about, and his knees had now grown accustomed to the frequent crouching he would be taxed with, in order to earn his nightly prize.
The apiary was no short trip from his flat. It was situated far from the main campus on the outskirts of the property lines to the east of the lake and in the heart of a small clearing; a gateway to the 120 acres of forest that stood ominous and ancient behind it.
Finally outside, Ian closed the front door without making a sound, slowly allowing the doorknob to reset into the locked position. The warm, late summer air greeted him, tinged with the early crispness of fall. "Perhaps a sweater next time," he said to himself, making a mental note, and off he went along his well trotted path to the guardians of the forest.
The apiary tool shed housed the bee suits and Ian expertly slipped into his, his caution heightened, aware that he now stood out against the dark night, as an eerie white shadow against a canopy of darkness. He took careful steps to ensure he would not disturb any of the other winged residents on his way to the old trees at the edge of the forest, where he first witnessed it - the otherworldly shimmer of the great honeybees.
Noone knew this but Ian, because typically honeybees follow a normal circadian rhythm just like their mammalian counterparts - awake by day and asleep by night. But this hive was different. Ian had sensed it the moment his eyes locked upon it the day the beekeeper introduced his new obsession to him. These bees did not sleep by night. They were just as alive in the pale and quiet moonlight, as they were during the heat and busyness of the day. As he approached, he felt the bees could sense his presence, and to Ian, something extraordinary. As he slowly approached the great hive, he was greeting with a slow, deliberate shimmer, one that seemed to say, "Greetings, friend."
Ian slowly crouched and bowed his head, keeping his eyes locked onto the great hive, which seemed to respond to his gesture. As he gazed upon it, his heartbeat increased, he could feel the blood rushing through his ear as he tried to remain perfectly still, determined to not break his almost motionless position. Then, a new shimmer rippled out from the center of the hive, one that pulsed rapidly outward, as if the hive were becoming more alert. Ian knew that his was the sign he needed - permission. Ian kept himself low and ever so slowly, moved toward the almost inaudible pulse of the buzzing, until he was directly beneath the behemoth branch itself that the great hive loomed from.
Underneath the ancient arms stretched out toward the horizons, Ian places his back against the wide trunk of the great oak tree and slowly closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, allowing the low pulsing to enter his senses, lulling him into a state of calm he had never known before.
"Hello, Ian," said an insect-like voice inside his head.
Stay Tuned - The Shimmer, III.

My dog was diagnosed with epilsepy around august of last year. He had a normal puppy life until that point. That day he had a random seizure and I literally thought he was going to die. When we took him to the vet they checked his blood and everything until they narrowed it down to epilepsy. I was shellshocked but I was not going to give up on him. After getting him on medication he would relapse every few months and we would up the dosage and try new medication. Things were going smoothly for little once we finally got the right mix. He would usually have a seizure once or month or so. It would be tough but it was manageable.
This past week he had a cluster seizure (which he usually does) but ended up having one three days later, he would have cluster secures for the next three days straight. Om the third consecutive day he started giving seizures at 2pm and would have at least 1 every two hours until 11 pm. We took him in and they put him on 24 hour super dose of kepra to stop him from having seizures for the next day. I took him home hopefully until he would end up having 3 more seizures. I immediately began crying because in the back of my head I knew the worst was coming.
I took him back to the vet sobbing. The veterinarian told me we could either hospitalize him for the night and hope whatever they do works (minimum was going to be 5k) and there’s no guarantee it was going to work. She said usually when epilepsy starts at such a young age it usually doesn’t go as well. She ended with “im so sorry” My heart was broken. My dad and sister showed up to make things easier. I balled my eyes out as they brought me into the “quiet room”. They brought him in and I hugged him as tight as I could. He had a seizure as soon as he saw me and my heart broke. My head knew this was probably the best for him so he couldn’t suffer anymore but my heart was acheing. I felt like I was giving up on my boy. He was only two years old and had so much life to live. He was already sedated and when they knocked for the final step he got amped and full of energy (he had been loopy and restless for the day since he took the medication) but it absolutely broke my heart . Like he knew what was about to happen. At first I wasn’t sure if I wanted to be in the room I was so overwhelmed and upset. But I didn’t want him to be without me in his last moments I held him in my arms and sobbed as they did the first sedative to fully calm him down. And finally..the rest of the shot to make him sleep forever.. I held him in my arms while he took his final breathes and just like that he was gone.
It’s finally been 24 hours and I’m still so sad. I live alone and he was my bestfriend. My house is so lonely without him . I know with time it’ll get easier but I miss him so fucking much. He’s the first dog I raised by myself and for the last 2 years i felt like I was raising a son. He loved me unconditionally and I loved him the same. I fucking hate epilepsy my boy had so much more to see. I miss him so much already and it’s only been one day. Seeing him go lifeless in matter of minutes is something I don’t think I’ll ever forget. Putting down ur dog and them going in your arms has to be one of the saddest things to happen to a person. I know to some people dogs are just pets but to me dogs have always been another part of the family . I come home and see all his toys and his harness and least on top Of his bed and I get so sad. He was just a baby stillI feel like I lost my son and he’s all I can think about. Rip my baby boy daddy will see you again one day

I have a 1.25” PVC supply line coming from my well. We have built an addition with several more plumbing fixtures. After doing all the calculations, I feel the addition would be best served running 1.25” supply to the addition (T off the original). We will be using PEX A for the whole project, but I cannot see any manifolds or reducing T’s that will help me step down the 1.25” PEX into say several 3/4”, or even at least two to three 1” lines and go from there.
Am I stuck running a 1” supply after T’ing in and reducing the 1.25” where it currently comes into the existing home?
What am I missing?
TIA

Become a star citizen.
https://robertsspaceindustries.com/enlist?referral=STAR-DP7P-GD4P
use code STAR-DP7P-GD4P
If you don't already have a Roberts Space Industries (RSI) account, you'll want to take advantage of the Star Citizen referral code program. Doing so benefits the code provider and grants only you a bonus 5,000 United Earth Credits (UEC), the in-game currency for Star Citizen!
Thanks!!!
Improved New Player Experience : Play the tutorial
Star Citizen features a beautiful sprawling universe full of wonder, adventure, and action. However, it’s easy for new citizens to feel overwhelmed as they take their first steps into life in the 30th century.So, from Alpha 3.19, a whole-new guided mission will welcome new players to the ‘verse, including showing them how to get around, use the mobiGlas, and fly a ship in atmosphere and in space.
Invictus end free fly Celebration May 17-29 Invictus Launch Week 2954 - Roberts Space Industries Follow the development of Star Citizen and Squadron 42
Letter from the chairman https://robertsspaceindustries.com/comm-link/transmission/19848-Letter-From-The-Chairman
Alpha 3.22 https://robertsspaceindustries.com/comm-link/transmission/19565-Star-Citizen-Alpha-322-Wrecks-To-Riches
Alpha 3.21 https://robertsspaceindustries.com/comm-link/transmission/19477-Star-Citizen-Alpha-321-Mission-Ready
CitizenCon October 21st and 22nd https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xKWa4WoTkV4&list=PLVct2QDhDrB15f0diWl9YaDmL4Je1BkX3
Welcome Back, Pilot! https://robertsspaceindustries.com/comm-link/transmission/18359-Welcome-Back-Pilot
STAR CITIZEN & SQUADRON 42 EXPLAINED
There are two components to Cloud Imperium Games' (CIG) project. Star Citizen is the MMO component, a first-person experience in a simulated 30th-century universe. Squadron 42 is the single-player component, a story-driven campaign where you enlist as a UEE Navy combat pilot. Our current understanding is you will be given the option of having your Squadron 42 character, who musters out of the Navy at the conclusion of the campaign, carry over into the Star Citizen persistent universe, taking with them the reputation and relationships they've built with NPC entities.
[Customers interested the Squadron 42 standalone only] If you only want the single-player campaign, after creating your account (next section) you can buy the Squadron 42 standalone here. You need only wait for the game to be released and become available for download. But take note that when you buy Squadron 42 you also get immediate access to Arena Commander, the online dogfighting module, and Star Marine, the online first-person shooter.
Squadron 42: I Held The Line https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IDtjzLzs7V8
UNDERSTANDING THE PLEDGE STORE
There are a couple of points I want to make about recognizing what comes with a package. First, game packages may include only Star Citizen, only Squadron 42, or both games. Look at the package's contents for "Star Citizen Digital Download" and/or "Squadron 42 Digital Download." I will show you an easy way to add Squadron 42 to a Star Citizen-only package during the checkout process.The second point of interest concerns ship insurance (also found in the package's contents). Ship insurance covers the ship's hull and factory stock equipment in the event of complete loss. As a part of promotional offers, ships are sometimes sold with lifetime insurance (commonly referred to as LTI), but there are tricks to get LTI on almost any ship and many people will advise you to take advantage of them (often at a cost of $20-$35 USD = Token LTI ). To properly assess of the "value" of lifetime insurance, you should know a few things.
guide https://robertsspaceindustries.com/comm-link/transmission/18381-New-Player-Guide-Star-Citizen