How to unblock main bile duct
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2016.02.24 08:35 Valiant4Funk MacGyverCrowdsource - for helping you make what you need with what you have!
This subreddit exists to help people improvise (or MacGyver!) solutions to their real-world problems, using the power of crowdsourcing! (preferably using only the materials, objects, or programs immediately available to them, or available for free.) These things might end up being posted on /DIY or /DiWHY.
2017.02.22 01:57 kurtkhan129 Sports News and Updates
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2024.05.18 20:03 JDLoxx My 2 year old son has Stage 4 cancer
My 2 year old son has Stage 4 cancer (a rant to clear my head)
My youngest boy was diagnosed with Stage 4 High Risk Neuroblastoma in December.
He has been put through so much and I don't understand how his little body is handling it. Build up of fluids, lung collapsed, resuscitated, septic shock, surgerys. You name it, he has had it.
In terms of pediatric cancers, it’s a >50% survival rate, down to extremley low percentages if he relapses which is extremely common. He will lose one of his kidneys as the tumour has completely destroyed it, his gallbladder needs removed as he has multiple gallstones blocking his bile duct due to medicines.
A week ago he was in PICU due to septic shock. He was given platelets through his central line in his chest, and it flushed his entire body with a septic shower. He stopped breathing and was resuscitated. Placed on a ventilator for 3 days. Quite possibly the scariest moment of my life.
He is in the nearest paediatric oncology unit, 60+ miles from home. He has spent 144 days+ as an inpatient. I have to travel between home and hospital as we have 2 older children at home. My wife spends all the time with our 2 year old.
I’m exhausted, mentally and physically. I want this nightmare to end. I want our son to be healthy and our normal life back.
I wouldn't wish this on anyone.
submitted by JDLoxx to Parenting [link] [comments]
My youngest boy was diagnosed with Stage 4 High Risk Neuroblastoma in December.
He has been put through so much and I don't understand how his little body is handling it. Build up of fluids, lung collapsed, resuscitated, septic shock, surgerys. You name it, he has had it.
In terms of pediatric cancers, it’s a >50% survival rate, down to extremley low percentages if he relapses which is extremely common. He will lose one of his kidneys as the tumour has completely destroyed it, his gallbladder needs removed as he has multiple gallstones blocking his bile duct due to medicines.
A week ago he was in PICU due to septic shock. He was given platelets through his central line in his chest, and it flushed his entire body with a septic shower. He stopped breathing and was resuscitated. Placed on a ventilator for 3 days. Quite possibly the scariest moment of my life.
He is in the nearest paediatric oncology unit, 60+ miles from home. He has spent 144 days+ as an inpatient. I have to travel between home and hospital as we have 2 older children at home. My wife spends all the time with our 2 year old.
I’m exhausted, mentally and physically. I want this nightmare to end. I want our son to be healthy and our normal life back.
I wouldn't wish this on anyone.
2024.05.18 19:01 MoonzyMooMooCow Some feedback after playing the game for nearly 600 hours
Inspired by a post recently, I decided to write my own feedback on the game. Please note that these are my opinions, so you may or may not disagree with some of it and that's fine, I respect that.
Mission effects:
submitted by MoonzyMooMooCow to Helldivers [link] [comments]
Mission effects:
- 50% call-in time should NOT affect extract countdown (1 extra minute is a lot, either in a dog fight, or sitting around doing nothing)
- Bug spore map is fine, until there's a mountain that cut across in the middle of the map with no gap to cross in the middle until you run to the end (which end? u have to find out by walking around it, have fun wasting 5 minutes)
- Fire Tornado is NOT fun and doesn't add anything to the game other than wasting your time when they choose to go on objective or just kill your civilians doing almost nothing to enemies that walks in it.
- Civilians can get stuck on nothing occasionally, if both (or 3) paths are bugged, it's game over, there has to be a fallback for this
- Bugs are fine, but the bot version on this mission is near impossible to clear (without using certain tactics blablabla), more so after factory strider have been added to the spawn pool
- It can get bugged and missile refuse to continue launching, killing the entire mission (suspect it has to do with network instability, especially from network host)
Enemies:
General:- Dead bodies should despawn sooner (or based on amount on the screen because defence mission on bots can have enemies piled so high that you can't see or shoot past it, god forbid u get stuck under one)
Bug front:
General (almost every unit):- Should not be able to dig their way up through solid rocks (just remove the dig mechanic, I don't know why it should exist other than bugs digging through solid rock when players stand on top of it by jetpack)
- Nursing Spewer's dead body hitbox does not fit model (after butt have been popped, the hitbox remains, cant walk past)
- Bile Spewer's animation between them raised their butt in the air to suddenly spewing when you are close is non-existent (it's even faster than they running and raising their head to spew, they skip the head raising animation and go straight to spewing)
- Should not one shot players for something that spawns in such numbers
- (still) running too fast
- Too quiet for something that can one shot you out of nowhere (should not one shot)
- Their attack should apply DOT status similar to bleeding (either stim or dive in water to clear), remove the direct damage
- Dead body deals more dmg than being alive
- Does not unstealth after taking damage from Incendiary Shotgun from a distance (they should remain unstealth while taking damage, either from bullets or DoT like fire)
- Their knockback sometimes cause your character to have a long [explicit] roll animation if the ground is not even, which is basically a death sentence when fighting them
- Can call breach without head
- Can track you without their head
- Non-intuitive design where the butt is NOT a weakspot to everything (it's ok if I need 1.5 mag of my shotgun to kill it, but at least give us more option to kill that thing than just AT to the face or explosive dmg to the butt)
- Too quiet for something that can one shot you out of nowhere
- Non-intuitive design where the SHINING OPEN MOUTH during spit animation is NOT a weakspot, but the forehead is (without any indication)
- Bouncing stratagem at the base of most layout
- Requiring certain weapons/stratagems to destroy after buffed (lowering weapon choice is not a good decision) Possible solution: allow hellbomb, or revert the changes. It's really frustrating and NOT FUN to deal with after the changes. Their main role is to obscure the map until players find it, it shouldn't be hard to remove as well (perhaps removing the red marking on the radar to make it harder to locate, instead of making it tougher)
- Stratagem bounce on certain terrain/layout (particularly the two nest on a mountain layout), making placing hellbomb difficult
Bot front:
General (almost every unit):- Should not be able to re-engage infinite distance away after been previously engaged before (should lose aggro ~1 minute without line of sight and revert to their regular scan distance)
- Why isn't Arc weapons doing more damage to bots? It should bypass their METAL armor and deal good damage to them
- Killing the dropship should have more significant impact to the enemies they are carrying/carried
- Revert whatever changes was made last buff
- Limit their rocket firing to x amount of salvos (to reflect their model), can add in (infinite) reload downtime to replenish their rocket (so players have opportunity to fire back)
- Gun firing angle does not fit model sometimes
- Can shoot through wall if they hug the wall (placing the scan further back from their body's hitbox might solve this as it wont be able to phase into the wall and see past it)
- Needs to add more inaccuracy, especially long distance away
- Face hitbox is weird (might be my potato aim but I can miss my shot when I shoot it near point blank)
- Flamethrower variant should not one tap (remove direct damage and just make it deal burning status, burning is already deadly enough)
- Having a VERY small pool of support weapons that can effectively deal with this enemy. One of the worst thing in the game because it's very limiting on what weapon you get to pick IN CASE you see one.
- Too quiet
- Shredder variant turns too fast to be able to reliable target the vents at the back
- Can climb things unreasonably well for something that runs on tracks
- Should not snipe you from 200m away without any warning or prior aggro, limit their scan distance}
- If they do want to snipe, make their dmg fall off with distance as to not get one shot out of nowhere from something you barely see
- Can shoot through wall if their face hugs the wall
- Their cannon turret is a bit too tanky for my liking, for something that already have two deadly MG on the chin
- Limit their spawn per dropship wave to 1 or 2 (especially in defence mission)
- Stratagem bounce issues
- Very hard to locate
- Does the job that it's supposed to do very poorly
- Should have limited enemies on them because you can't use stratagems, sometimes it's easy, but sometimes there's so many devastators on there plus dropship it becomes hell
- Can be deadly when spawned close to Gunship fab, perhaps limit the distance between these 2 sub-objectives
- One taps you out of nowhere sometimes (no one likes getting one tapped from full health)
- It's not red on the map in mission briefing, but you can drop into an extract with Factory Striders etc
Stratagems:
SOS Beacon:- What does this do, exactly? Other than being a free one-time use hellpod dmg for host if they manage to attach it onto enemy
- Sometimes just fly past enemy's head, what's the proxy radius exactly? Should increase radius but only detonate after x amount of clearance from user (can be time or distance based)
- GOATed (esp against bots), nothing wrong with it but it's so fun to use against bots that I just want to put it here.
- Lock-on issues (it's like wanting to sneeze but you can't)
- For something that require lock on and only have 4 shots, it better one shot regardless of hitzone (or make it lock-on to weakspots instead)
- Useless in snowstorm even though I can see the enemy clearly
- Why would it lock on but miss if the target is too close, what's the point of lock-on if the projectile isn't actually locking onto the target
- Needs to lower the CD for something that only targets a single entity
- OR make it one shot every unit in the game (factory strider can be one shot by 380mm, so I don't see why railcannon can't)
- Sometimes does not target enemies in-front of you, attacking you, or the enemies you're shooting, not sure why
- The constant downtime is so bad compared to its counterpart, PLUS it runs out of ammo
- Non-existent health, too soft for something the developer wont let players place at hard to reach places
- Doesn't feel as impactful as other stratagems, other than teamkilling
- Should prevent enemy unit from entering
- Should have infinite health until time is up
- Should just be DRG's gunner shield
- Have problems with plasma punisher (the projectile cannot pass through the shield)
- Needs to work better, enemies should stop firing into/across the smoke or something. I brought smoke to survey mission and smoked the objective, between me and enemies (before the bots drop), I was the one who got smoked instead
Booster:
- Needs to give precise numbers on what EXACTLY each one does (maybe on wiki or something, to prevent people from coming up with nonsense like localisation confusion will create more patrols etc)
- UAV Recon Booster should do something to bug spore map (either reveal the map but not enemies on the map, or enemies nearby but not the map)
- Flexible Reinforcement Budget needs to have more impact to the cooldown time, as it stands it's the worst booster
- Expert Extraction Pilot needs to have more impact to the countdown time, 18s/27s is not good enough for something that does nothing throughout the entire game until the end
- Only a couple booster tends to be taken to missions because the power level of boosters is very different
Misc:
Gameplay:- Stratagem should NOT bounce, let players decide where we wanna call our stuff, make it stick to walls, top of rocks (if players manage to land the stratagem there, why not), and enemies (sometimes you can stick stuff to chargers, sometimes you can't, I never understood why)
- Equipment/Stratagem loadout would be great to have
- Allow players to finish the mission in solo mode if kicked or lost connection, this would greatly reduce the impact of griefing and/or steam's weekly maintainance. You can prevent abuse by giving each mission an ID that can't duplicate reward if same player complete it twice. (just like Super credits that wont be given twice if you pick up the same one from the same mission)
- Enemies should have more ways to be killed and objectives should have more ways to be solved, so people actually can try out more loadouts than feel pressured to play the "meta".
- Patrol spawn rate should increase when we call extraction, not right after we finish main obj. Finishing sub obj is way harder if we finish main obj first (in blitz especially, where you can't choose when the main objective ends if you want to clear everything)
- Supply packs should have an icon on the map
- Icon for dropped items should appear in a larger radius
- Samples, Requisition Slips, and Medals should have uses other than being allowed to be capped (one interesting idea is the ability to purchase extra stratagem slot for operations/missions)
- Tier 4 Ship upgrade felt underwhelming, like it's AH trying to give players something to do while not wanting to reward the players. (the cost-to-impact is horrible to say the least)
- Armors should have more passives and stat variety, instead of the exact same stats and passive but different color
- Armor passive could be swappable (for fashion divers).
- Allow Stimming at any time (for stamina boost even if health is full to run for longer)
- The animation of rolling slowly after falling/diving/knocked back onto un-even ground is long, unnecessary, and annoying
- Allow viewing of Support weapon's stats like primary and secondary
- Allow players to customise weapons (especially the scope)
- Nickname given to Steam friends should not appear in-game, this can cause confusion between players as I see different name and player tag (ie: H2 vs D2) in mission from other players. But indication of the steam nickname should still be given, maybe upon entry. (ie: "dremskiy (HD2 dreamskiy) has joined the lobby")
- Allow sending friend request from party list (I don't know why this isn't a thing)
- Allow viewing of Steam player's Steam profile (and playstation profile for PSN players? I have no idea of the PSN ecosystem)
- Allow host to disband and create a new lobby (to mitigate the current multiplayer bug that might happens if someone leaves, or just so you can change party members without kicking)
- Allow host to set minimal join level for their lobbies (I know, this is controversial, but I'm tired of Lv20s joining Helldive missions. A good portion of them don't know what to do and run around like headless chicken and using up reinforcements. I'm here to enjoy the game, not carry and get frustrated when I get teamkilled or have them bring a big group of enemies into objectives. Everyone has their preference and "standards" when playing. I also know level isn't an indication of actual skill, but the proportion of frustration I've had with low levels vs higher level players is very different. I once had a lv10 matchmake into Helldive difficulty. How is that even possible? Don't they need to clear lower difficulties first? Yeah, they did nothing but die the entire mission)
2024.05.18 18:14 _OUCHMYPENIS_ Stool was very light colored, closer to a light beige.
This is the first time it happened. I usually have pretty regular stools. I just went to the bathroom and it was the color of a very milky coffee. The consistency was soft but solid enough to hold together.
The only thing that I've eaten that's different from my normal diet is some orange chicken I had around midnight last night, so about 12 hours ago. I have a pretty high fiber diet, with a mix of high fiber foods and taking fiber supplements/high fiber tortilla wraps.
I just checked and it says it could likely a bile duct issue. My aunt passed from bile duct cancer a few years ago so that worries me quite a bit. I also have been extremely irritable and on edge for the last two or three weeks and have slumped into a really bad depression, though I don't know how relevant that might be. I am on medication but that hasn't changed much recently. I dropped from 50mg of sertraline to 25mg. Thats been about 4 weeks now though. Aside from that everything has been pretty static.
The only other thing I could think of is I came into contact with some medication at work (I have a job that puts me into contact with medications coming mostly from south and central America into the US). That started Tuesday though and for the most part, a majority of what I've seen is diclofenac and ampicillin. I also had some exposure to bulk powder kratom on Monday as well. All the drugs were packaged with the exception of a pill or two that had popped out of the blister pack. The kratom I handled, I used sterile gloves but it being a very fine powder, it was hard to not get everywhere
I'm going to schedule a doctor's appointment this upcoming week or as soon as they can take me to check that. I've been concerned with some other things and haven't gotten a blood test done in a while either so it's something I wanted to get done anyways.
Also, this is the only time it happened, maybe the orange chicken caused some issues with the color? I've had darker stools before due to lower rectal bleeding but those turned out to be nothing more than just minor tears around the sphincter that happened due to either a larger load or just constipation and pushing. But I've never had stool this color. So it is worrisome.
submitted by _OUCHMYPENIS_ to AskDoctorSmeeee [link] [comments]
The only thing that I've eaten that's different from my normal diet is some orange chicken I had around midnight last night, so about 12 hours ago. I have a pretty high fiber diet, with a mix of high fiber foods and taking fiber supplements/high fiber tortilla wraps.
I just checked and it says it could likely a bile duct issue. My aunt passed from bile duct cancer a few years ago so that worries me quite a bit. I also have been extremely irritable and on edge for the last two or three weeks and have slumped into a really bad depression, though I don't know how relevant that might be. I am on medication but that hasn't changed much recently. I dropped from 50mg of sertraline to 25mg. Thats been about 4 weeks now though. Aside from that everything has been pretty static.
The only other thing I could think of is I came into contact with some medication at work (I have a job that puts me into contact with medications coming mostly from south and central America into the US). That started Tuesday though and for the most part, a majority of what I've seen is diclofenac and ampicillin. I also had some exposure to bulk powder kratom on Monday as well. All the drugs were packaged with the exception of a pill or two that had popped out of the blister pack. The kratom I handled, I used sterile gloves but it being a very fine powder, it was hard to not get everywhere
I'm going to schedule a doctor's appointment this upcoming week or as soon as they can take me to check that. I've been concerned with some other things and haven't gotten a blood test done in a while either so it's something I wanted to get done anyways.
Also, this is the only time it happened, maybe the orange chicken caused some issues with the color? I've had darker stools before due to lower rectal bleeding but those turned out to be nothing more than just minor tears around the sphincter that happened due to either a larger load or just constipation and pushing. But I've never had stool this color. So it is worrisome.
2024.05.18 16:42 enduring_lonely_soul Don't trust HDFC as only Banking partner
 | I did a simple communications address change 5 weeks back. To change my branch from one city to another. I'm a Imperia customer. So they gave me a relationship manager. submitted by enduring_lonely_soul to indiasocial [link] [comments] The process needs to be done from an online form. The form was stupid and complicated. Got poor help from manager. It automatically took my aadhar address and updated it as my communication address. Now this was beginning of blunder. I decided to visit the branch nearby and get this sorted. Lady over there provided me same form and guided me. This time showed where and how to put my new address. I did. I told her about previous application that was done 2 days back. She told me to not worry as it was over ridden by this new process. But told me a document will be sent to my this new address, and it needs to be received or else my account will be frozen. That exact thing happens as both the applications were still active and 2 documents were sent. Only 1 received. My acc got blocked. I had to wait to visit Bank coz of bank holiday. Got worst possible service, the same lady was non challant like this issue was a minor one, till I escalated and met the branch manager, he understood the severity of the matter. He immediately started the steps. Told me he'll send his own employee to my home and get this verification done today. But then it will still take 4-5 working days to get my acc unblocked. Till then manage. I was royally pissed coz this is my main acc and I needed to pay the bills as it was month start. He assisted again in doing neft from branch to my other accounts. I thought the matter was closed once my acc got activated after 5 days. But no this bad luck continues to haunt me. Again I received a mail today, posted above that my acc has been blocked again. Never trust HDFC for primary banking partner. |
2024.05.18 16:40 enduring_lonely_soul Never trust HDFC bank as primary account
 | I did a simple communications address change 5 weeks back. To change my branch from one city to another. I'm a Imperia customer. So they gave me a relationship manager. submitted by enduring_lonely_soul to IndiaSpeaks [link] [comments] The process needs to be done from an online form. The form was stupid and complicated. Got poor help from manager. It automatically took my aadhar address and updated it as my communication address. Now this was beginning of blunder. I decided to visit the branch nearby and get this sorted. Lady over there provided me same form and guided me. This time showed where and how to put my new address. I did. I told her about previous application that was done 2 days back. She told me to not worry as it was over ridden by this new process. But told me a document will be sent to my this new address, and it needs to be received or else my account will be frozen. That exact thing happens as both the applications were still active and 2 documents were sent. Only 1 received. My acc got blocked. I had to wait to visit Bank coz of bank holiday. Got worst possible service, the same lady was non challant like this issue was a minor one, till I escalated and met the branch manager, he understood the severity of the matter. He immediately started the steps. Told me he'll send his own employee to my home and get this verification done today. But then it will still take 4-5 working days to get my acc unblocked. Till then manage. I was royally pissed coz this is my main acc and I needed to pay the bills as it was month start. He assisted again in doing neft from branch to my other accounts. I thought the matter was closed once my acc got activated after 5 days. But no this bad luck continues to haunt me. Again I received a mail today, posted above that my acc has been blocked again. Never trust HDFC for primary banking partner. |
2024.05.18 07:17 DetailFabulous5501 I ended a friendship because she kept on rejecting to hang out with me and everybody thinks I'm the asshole
I ended the relationship with a friend because she kept rejecting every time I ask her to meet, and everybody thinks I'm the asshole
4 things before I start with the story First, english is not my first language and I haven't practiced in a long time. Second, I have avoidant attachment, which it's a important thing in this story. Third, the main characters are the girl, who I'll call morgana(f19), obviously fake name, my brother(m23), that is also friends with her, and me(m19). Lastly, I posted this before but got eliminated because I missed some basic rule(sorry I never post on reddit), so I'm gonna use this chance to do some corrections and clarifications, mostly about the way I phrased things and exagerated some.
Long story short, she's a friend from my brother's college, and I met her one day that I went with my brother to some hang out/reunion, I only wanted free drinks tbh lol, but my brother insisted that she had similar interests and that he saw us being friends. This happened on december of two years ago I think.
We bonded, and so we exchanged phone numbers. She was a lot more outgoing than me, and made some plan for us to go out, as an introverted person, who lost a lot of friends because of the quarantine, (they didn't die, just we were too anxious and depressed to talk lol) this was a new experience for me.
As the time went by, there were some instances in which I did disappear for a while, but nonetheless we were really good friends. On october last year, we made other plans to go out to watch a movie, Plans which she cancelled in the morning of the day we were supposed to go out, I really wasn't mad. On halloween, her friend group, including my brother, were having a party, apparently her parents didn't let her go to this so she was free, so I thought it would be a good chance to hang out, first, I ask her if she wanted to go to the cinema, but she refused bc the movie was gonna take to long and she didn't want to go to her house that late, so finally we decided to watch some scary videos while chatting on discord. After that she kinda started to ghost me for some hours until late in the night when she just told me "I'm going some place else"(she also send me some gifts and said nice thing, but the important part is that she just cancelled the plan only by saying that she was going somewhere else).
This time I did get angry, and send her some messages telling her that she made me feel like her backup plan, which up to a certain point I do think it's true. But because I was bored and needed someone to talk to, I kinda just started talking to her again and downplayed what she did.
The last time she cancelled a plan she did compromise to was on december of the same year, in which I was in a work related thing close to her house, so I just asked her meet up some place close, she accepted but told me that she was cleaning and as soon as she finishes she is going to tell me. 4 hours passed and she just tell me that she ended cleaning late and that she was sorry, but was going to go with her sister to eat or something, once again I wasn't mad.
After that I have to be honest and say that I did hold some resentment torwards her, that and the fact that I was pretty busy studying, just made my avoidant attachment worst and so we just kinda talked once or twice per month (which being honest sometimes happened before this but not as often). After that I just tried to go back to when the friendship was really good, but I still hold some resentment torwards her and she just kept rejecting everytime I proposed to hang out(Edit: It was only two times, I exagerated because I'm a dramatic person lol), I know this sound like I don't know how to take the hint, but, in my defense, she was constantly saying that she wanted to hang out with me, obviously she never tried to make plans, and everytime I did she just rejected them. (Edit: In this part I kinda exagerated, I only ask her to meet up twice I think, the ones explained in the next paragraphs, I made sound like it was a lot of times, but just twice.)
The breaking point was on february of this year, I bought her some valentine gifts as a friendship thing, (Edit: apparently some people thought this was weird, I truly don't get why because where I live it's pretty common to buy friendship gifts on valentine, plus, she had already send me some gifts on halloween claiming I was really good friend and important part of her life) I happened to go close to her house twice because a relative lives in the same area, so I asked her those two times to go to her house just to give her the gifts, it goes without saying, I got rejected again.
That last time I asked was on march(Edit: This was one of the two times I asked, not a different incident. I know, I write like a 12 year old complaining about fortnite or something lol) I think, just to give an idea of how much time I held to those shitty gifts I bought, because she refused to just lend me hand them to her. So, she kinda picked up the vibe that she was making me feel unaprecieted, or I think my brother told her because I did say to him how I was about to just stop talking to her if she kept on doing the same thing. So she tried to make some plans to make up for it, which honestly I would have accepted, but something in my mind just felt wrong, and I just couldn't make the resentment magically go away just because after like 6 months she decided that she should stop rejecting hanging out with me, or at least stop pretending she wanted to.
So I confronted her(Edit: I wasn't trying to fight, I just wanted her to know how I was feeling, I explained her the situationas calm as posible, but I did get angry with some of her responses to some things) being fully honest I was kind of hurtful, I did say one comment that was only to make her feel bad, I told her about her valentine gifts and how I was going to eat the chocolate and if the plushie hasn't been given to her in a week I was probably going to throw it in the garbage, and I blocked her, ( Edit: I read a comment saying that I shouldn't claim I was gonna block her and then block her, I didn't lol, I actually told her I needed some time to think if I wanted to keep the friendship, and then blocked her, as stated in the post, just to have time to think and not feel the need to talk to her, after that I unblocked her, which is stated in this paragrahp, but blocked her again as a final straw because she didn't wish me a happy birthday, it sounds petty, but she told my brother to tell me bc she didn't want to text me, even though my brother reassured her that I would have appreciated that, I thought it was the final straw, and also thought that the friendship was never gonna be the same) which apparently was what hurt her the most, because of some personal things that I wasn't aware of. I did unblocked her some time after that only to apologize for saying those things, and clarify that I only blocked her because I needed time to think and not feel the need to talk to her. (Edit: Part of the reasons I was hurtful is that she tried to justify herself by saying things I knew were lies, most remarkable saying that she didn't hang out with anybody during the time she didn't meet up with me, which was a lie because my brother did hang out with her, and her whatsapp stories did show her out couple of times, I don't watch stories, so I only know the times the preview story show her out, which was once or twice. Not justifying my actions, I acted like an asshole and I regret it)
Basically, everybody thinks I'm the asshole because of my avoidant attachment how that has ruined some of my previous friendships. (Edit: I did present some moments of avoidant attachment, through the whole friendship, but we always went back to talking as normal and friendly as usual. For the people that thought I was obsessed with her, after reading the original post I understand it, but as I said before, I exagerated a lot. Lastly, I don't think I misjudged the closeness we had, because she sent me gifts once in a while, and as said before sent me a halloween gift claiming I was an important part of her life. Last clarification, the amount of time I asked her to meet up where 3, technically 4 but on halloween she also planned it with me so i'm not counting it, the three times she cancelled last minute 2 of them were her ideas to meet, and the last three times were my idea to meet.) (Last edit: The reason I brought avoidant attachment its because she vaguely told me in the last fight that she felt that talking to me was like talking to a wall because of how long I could disappear, she also told her in more detail to my brother that my avoidant attachment made her feel bad. Now, since the beginning of the friendship I tried to prioritize communication and being open with each other about things that bother us, that's why since the beginning of the friendship I warn her that I had AA and that if she didn't like that we could be just casual friends and not try to get more close, she told me that it was ok and she just didn't mind, I would have expected that if she started to dislike that part of me she could have told me and I would have tried twice as harder to beat my AA or at least try to talk to her really often, but instead she didn't said anything and kept on acting like we were as close as we were on the best moments of our friendship).
I wanna know if this was my fault or If I acted in a poor way, before the final confrontation. Plus some people express that maybe the relantionship can be saved, if we both take time to express both of our feelings so... ¿what do you guys think?
TLDR: I ended the relationship with a friend because she kept rejecting every time I ask her to meet, and everybody thinks I'm the asshole because I have avoidant attachment
submitted by DetailFabulous5501 to relationships [link] [comments]
4 things before I start with the story First, english is not my first language and I haven't practiced in a long time. Second, I have avoidant attachment, which it's a important thing in this story. Third, the main characters are the girl, who I'll call morgana(f19), obviously fake name, my brother(m23), that is also friends with her, and me(m19). Lastly, I posted this before but got eliminated because I missed some basic rule(sorry I never post on reddit), so I'm gonna use this chance to do some corrections and clarifications, mostly about the way I phrased things and exagerated some.
Long story short, she's a friend from my brother's college, and I met her one day that I went with my brother to some hang out/reunion, I only wanted free drinks tbh lol, but my brother insisted that she had similar interests and that he saw us being friends. This happened on december of two years ago I think.
We bonded, and so we exchanged phone numbers. She was a lot more outgoing than me, and made some plan for us to go out, as an introverted person, who lost a lot of friends because of the quarantine, (they didn't die, just we were too anxious and depressed to talk lol) this was a new experience for me.
As the time went by, there were some instances in which I did disappear for a while, but nonetheless we were really good friends. On october last year, we made other plans to go out to watch a movie, Plans which she cancelled in the morning of the day we were supposed to go out, I really wasn't mad. On halloween, her friend group, including my brother, were having a party, apparently her parents didn't let her go to this so she was free, so I thought it would be a good chance to hang out, first, I ask her if she wanted to go to the cinema, but she refused bc the movie was gonna take to long and she didn't want to go to her house that late, so finally we decided to watch some scary videos while chatting on discord. After that she kinda started to ghost me for some hours until late in the night when she just told me "I'm going some place else"(she also send me some gifts and said nice thing, but the important part is that she just cancelled the plan only by saying that she was going somewhere else).
This time I did get angry, and send her some messages telling her that she made me feel like her backup plan, which up to a certain point I do think it's true. But because I was bored and needed someone to talk to, I kinda just started talking to her again and downplayed what she did.
The last time she cancelled a plan she did compromise to was on december of the same year, in which I was in a work related thing close to her house, so I just asked her meet up some place close, she accepted but told me that she was cleaning and as soon as she finishes she is going to tell me. 4 hours passed and she just tell me that she ended cleaning late and that she was sorry, but was going to go with her sister to eat or something, once again I wasn't mad.
After that I have to be honest and say that I did hold some resentment torwards her, that and the fact that I was pretty busy studying, just made my avoidant attachment worst and so we just kinda talked once or twice per month (which being honest sometimes happened before this but not as often). After that I just tried to go back to when the friendship was really good, but I still hold some resentment torwards her and she just kept rejecting everytime I proposed to hang out(Edit: It was only two times, I exagerated because I'm a dramatic person lol), I know this sound like I don't know how to take the hint, but, in my defense, she was constantly saying that she wanted to hang out with me, obviously she never tried to make plans, and everytime I did she just rejected them. (Edit: In this part I kinda exagerated, I only ask her to meet up twice I think, the ones explained in the next paragraphs, I made sound like it was a lot of times, but just twice.)
The breaking point was on february of this year, I bought her some valentine gifts as a friendship thing, (Edit: apparently some people thought this was weird, I truly don't get why because where I live it's pretty common to buy friendship gifts on valentine, plus, she had already send me some gifts on halloween claiming I was really good friend and important part of her life) I happened to go close to her house twice because a relative lives in the same area, so I asked her those two times to go to her house just to give her the gifts, it goes without saying, I got rejected again.
That last time I asked was on march(Edit: This was one of the two times I asked, not a different incident. I know, I write like a 12 year old complaining about fortnite or something lol) I think, just to give an idea of how much time I held to those shitty gifts I bought, because she refused to just lend me hand them to her. So, she kinda picked up the vibe that she was making me feel unaprecieted, or I think my brother told her because I did say to him how I was about to just stop talking to her if she kept on doing the same thing. So she tried to make some plans to make up for it, which honestly I would have accepted, but something in my mind just felt wrong, and I just couldn't make the resentment magically go away just because after like 6 months she decided that she should stop rejecting hanging out with me, or at least stop pretending she wanted to.
So I confronted her(Edit: I wasn't trying to fight, I just wanted her to know how I was feeling, I explained her the situationas calm as posible, but I did get angry with some of her responses to some things) being fully honest I was kind of hurtful, I did say one comment that was only to make her feel bad, I told her about her valentine gifts and how I was going to eat the chocolate and if the plushie hasn't been given to her in a week I was probably going to throw it in the garbage, and I blocked her, ( Edit: I read a comment saying that I shouldn't claim I was gonna block her and then block her, I didn't lol, I actually told her I needed some time to think if I wanted to keep the friendship, and then blocked her, as stated in the post, just to have time to think and not feel the need to talk to her, after that I unblocked her, which is stated in this paragrahp, but blocked her again as a final straw because she didn't wish me a happy birthday, it sounds petty, but she told my brother to tell me bc she didn't want to text me, even though my brother reassured her that I would have appreciated that, I thought it was the final straw, and also thought that the friendship was never gonna be the same) which apparently was what hurt her the most, because of some personal things that I wasn't aware of. I did unblocked her some time after that only to apologize for saying those things, and clarify that I only blocked her because I needed time to think and not feel the need to talk to her. (Edit: Part of the reasons I was hurtful is that she tried to justify herself by saying things I knew were lies, most remarkable saying that she didn't hang out with anybody during the time she didn't meet up with me, which was a lie because my brother did hang out with her, and her whatsapp stories did show her out couple of times, I don't watch stories, so I only know the times the preview story show her out, which was once or twice. Not justifying my actions, I acted like an asshole and I regret it)
Basically, everybody thinks I'm the asshole because of my avoidant attachment how that has ruined some of my previous friendships. (Edit: I did present some moments of avoidant attachment, through the whole friendship, but we always went back to talking as normal and friendly as usual. For the people that thought I was obsessed with her, after reading the original post I understand it, but as I said before, I exagerated a lot. Lastly, I don't think I misjudged the closeness we had, because she sent me gifts once in a while, and as said before sent me a halloween gift claiming I was an important part of her life. Last clarification, the amount of time I asked her to meet up where 3, technically 4 but on halloween she also planned it with me so i'm not counting it, the three times she cancelled last minute 2 of them were her ideas to meet, and the last three times were my idea to meet.) (Last edit: The reason I brought avoidant attachment its because she vaguely told me in the last fight that she felt that talking to me was like talking to a wall because of how long I could disappear, she also told her in more detail to my brother that my avoidant attachment made her feel bad. Now, since the beginning of the friendship I tried to prioritize communication and being open with each other about things that bother us, that's why since the beginning of the friendship I warn her that I had AA and that if she didn't like that we could be just casual friends and not try to get more close, she told me that it was ok and she just didn't mind, I would have expected that if she started to dislike that part of me she could have told me and I would have tried twice as harder to beat my AA or at least try to talk to her really often, but instead she didn't said anything and kept on acting like we were as close as we were on the best moments of our friendship).
I wanna know if this was my fault or If I acted in a poor way, before the final confrontation. Plus some people express that maybe the relantionship can be saved, if we both take time to express both of our feelings so... ¿what do you guys think?
TLDR: I ended the relationship with a friend because she kept rejecting every time I ask her to meet, and everybody thinks I'm the asshole because I have avoidant attachment
2024.05.18 06:31 ironpsychonaut Cancer scare/Pancreatitis
Apologies in advance for the novel. But I need to write this somewhere to keep me from crawling back in a bottle.
Well, I finally did it. I finally hit the wall of real world consequences that I can't escape or talk myself out of, and I'm fucking terrified. I've been a closet alcoholic for the last 6 or 7 years and despite multiple real world consequences (totaled vehicles, lost relationships, lost integrity in my career, lost opportunities in my career, health scares, etc.) I still continued to feed the disease.
I had been doing well, or so I thought, with managing. I would take days and even weeks off. I had cut down from a bottle a day of vodka to a half pint or so. Splicing in days off or days of just a night cap or two. Then for some stupid ass reason I started picking up more and more. That turned into a good week or two of a bottle plus a day. I honestly lost count.
I realized where I was heading and started slowing down, saying I was going to taper and quit (for like the 100th fucking time). I actually did fairly well for about 3 or 4 days of keeping to less than a pint and BAM Tuesday morning at about 2am I wake up in excruciating pain. Sweating, vomiting, paranoid. It felt like I had a burning sword through my chest shooting into my right abdomen. I seriously thought I was dying and that I was in liver failure or having a heart attack. I had been battling similar symptoms that I thought were GERD since about February, but I was usually able to nurse it with hydration, meds, and time off from the heavy stuff. This time it was hours of pure agony with no relief.
8am rolls around and I can't take it anymore. I call my girlfriend and say we need to go to the ER. God, how that woman tolerates my bullshit I have no idea. She is a saint, and has stood by me even when we separated due to my drinking for over a year. At this point I hadn't had a drink in almost 24 hrs so I was convinced it was DT's and liver failure, so I'm bawling to her not to leave me because I fucked up yet again.
Thankfully I get to the ER and I'm the only one there. Quick and efficient, they get me hooked up to IV and push meds, ultrasound, and CT scan. I told them everything. By some miracle I get to see the doc and he says my liver is fine, no hepatitis, no cirrhosis, no ascites, hell even my gallbladder was fine. By some fucked up miracle my liver enzymes were all in normal range and not a blemish in sight on imaging. However my pancreas is PISSED, and just so happens to be sporting a 5cm bouncing baby mass sitting right between my pancreas, duodenum, and bile duct. 4 days of constant pain meds, electrolytes, and CIWA protocol Ativan and I was released today.
I'm sitting here in my apartment, pacing, distracting myself as much as I can but I am absolutely terrified. I have an MRI in 2 weeks to determine the extent of the mass, but all signs point to an uncomfortably high likelihood of pancreatic cancer. All because of this god damned poison I voluntarily subject myself to. And the fucked up thing is I can't stop thinking about having a drink. It's like there is a little demon attached to the most basal parts of my psyche that wants me to just drink myself to death, despite having no desire to die.
I have a great career. I have all the love and support I could ever ask for, and most certainly don't deserve. Yet still a part of me persists in this slow nuclear meltdown of self abuse. I truly want to rid myself of this god forsaken curse. I'm 4 days dry, and safely detoxing on a protocol after discharge with medical and mental health follow up but I fear the demon waiting in the dark. I've slipped so many times into that hell of my own making, wantonly abandoning a rich and vibrant life that I am pissing away for a 6$ bottle of rot gut garbage. And now, it may be truly slowly killing me.
Apologies for the rant, but I needed to get this out of my head. For now, it's kept me from driving to the liquor store. For the moment, I will not drink. I will conquer the hell I know, one second at a time, and prepare for the unknown devils that await with a clear mind.
submitted by ironpsychonaut to stopdrinking [link] [comments]
Well, I finally did it. I finally hit the wall of real world consequences that I can't escape or talk myself out of, and I'm fucking terrified. I've been a closet alcoholic for the last 6 or 7 years and despite multiple real world consequences (totaled vehicles, lost relationships, lost integrity in my career, lost opportunities in my career, health scares, etc.) I still continued to feed the disease.
I had been doing well, or so I thought, with managing. I would take days and even weeks off. I had cut down from a bottle a day of vodka to a half pint or so. Splicing in days off or days of just a night cap or two. Then for some stupid ass reason I started picking up more and more. That turned into a good week or two of a bottle plus a day. I honestly lost count.
I realized where I was heading and started slowing down, saying I was going to taper and quit (for like the 100th fucking time). I actually did fairly well for about 3 or 4 days of keeping to less than a pint and BAM Tuesday morning at about 2am I wake up in excruciating pain. Sweating, vomiting, paranoid. It felt like I had a burning sword through my chest shooting into my right abdomen. I seriously thought I was dying and that I was in liver failure or having a heart attack. I had been battling similar symptoms that I thought were GERD since about February, but I was usually able to nurse it with hydration, meds, and time off from the heavy stuff. This time it was hours of pure agony with no relief.
8am rolls around and I can't take it anymore. I call my girlfriend and say we need to go to the ER. God, how that woman tolerates my bullshit I have no idea. She is a saint, and has stood by me even when we separated due to my drinking for over a year. At this point I hadn't had a drink in almost 24 hrs so I was convinced it was DT's and liver failure, so I'm bawling to her not to leave me because I fucked up yet again.
Thankfully I get to the ER and I'm the only one there. Quick and efficient, they get me hooked up to IV and push meds, ultrasound, and CT scan. I told them everything. By some miracle I get to see the doc and he says my liver is fine, no hepatitis, no cirrhosis, no ascites, hell even my gallbladder was fine. By some fucked up miracle my liver enzymes were all in normal range and not a blemish in sight on imaging. However my pancreas is PISSED, and just so happens to be sporting a 5cm bouncing baby mass sitting right between my pancreas, duodenum, and bile duct. 4 days of constant pain meds, electrolytes, and CIWA protocol Ativan and I was released today.
I'm sitting here in my apartment, pacing, distracting myself as much as I can but I am absolutely terrified. I have an MRI in 2 weeks to determine the extent of the mass, but all signs point to an uncomfortably high likelihood of pancreatic cancer. All because of this god damned poison I voluntarily subject myself to. And the fucked up thing is I can't stop thinking about having a drink. It's like there is a little demon attached to the most basal parts of my psyche that wants me to just drink myself to death, despite having no desire to die.
I have a great career. I have all the love and support I could ever ask for, and most certainly don't deserve. Yet still a part of me persists in this slow nuclear meltdown of self abuse. I truly want to rid myself of this god forsaken curse. I'm 4 days dry, and safely detoxing on a protocol after discharge with medical and mental health follow up but I fear the demon waiting in the dark. I've slipped so many times into that hell of my own making, wantonly abandoning a rich and vibrant life that I am pissing away for a 6$ bottle of rot gut garbage. And now, it may be truly slowly killing me.
Apologies for the rant, but I needed to get this out of my head. For now, it's kept me from driving to the liquor store. For the moment, I will not drink. I will conquer the hell I know, one second at a time, and prepare for the unknown devils that await with a clear mind.
2024.05.18 06:28 Thin-Landscape-6420 HVAC Advice
Hello - I am looking for advice on how to upgrade the aging HVAC system for my ~3,800 square foot house in Massachusetts. The house was built in the early 1900s and has minimal wall insulation but does have attic and basement insulation. We currently have a ~17 year old Buderus GB142-60 gas boiler for heating and hot water, and we have three ~17 year old central AC units with three ~17 year old Space Pak air handlers pushing air through high velocity ducts. Our hot water is stored in an indirect Superstor tank that is also ~17 years old. In terms of zone layout:
submitted by Thin-Landscape-6420 to heatpumps [link] [comments]
- Finished basement - 900 sq. ft.
- Radiant floor heating (Zone 1)
- Central AC (Zone 1)
- First floor (addition) - 400 sq. ft.
- Radiant floor heating (Zone 2)
- Central AC (Zone 2) <-- same as rest of first floor
- First floor (main) - 1,200 sq. ft.
- Baseboard heating with a couple toekick heaters in the kitchen (Zone 3)
- Central AC (Zone 2) <-- same as first floor addition
- Second floor - 1,200 sq. ft.
- Free standing radiators in 3 rooms, baseboard in 1 room, toekicks in 1 room (Zone 4)
- Central AC (Zone 3)
- Unfinished attic
- No heating
- There is an intake for the second floor AC plus a couple vents in a portion of the attic. These vents are controlled by a damper connected to a thermostat in the attic. We leave the attic thermostat off so the damper is closed, although when the AC system is on, we can feel some cool air still flowing from the attic vents.
- We have no plans to finish the attic and do not need heating or cooling in the attic.
- We are open to considering a heatpump setup, but it seems like that may not be a straightforward option for our house given the mix of radiant floors and baseboard/radiators and given that we only have high velocity ducts (rather than regular sized heating / cooling ducts). Given our house's HVAC setup and layout, is it even worth exploring heat pumps?
- What would be the "recommended" HVAC setup for our house given the mix of radiant floors and baseboard/radiators? Should we basically replace the Buderus with a more modern equivalent?
- Currently, we don't have a way to control the temperature of the radiant floors other than by manually adjusting the Tekmar controllers in the basement utility closet. Our current HVAC service company has said we shouldn't install thermostats because it is better to not adjust the temperature of radiant floors. Are there any thermostat options that work reasonably well with radiant floors?
- My sense is that both the boiler and AC are getting close to end of life and may not be worth repairing if/when they next break. Is that generally correct?
2024.05.18 06:24 LucyAriaRose New Updates: He (42m) is so jealous of our kids and it’s starting to scare me (35f). Is this family and marriage even savable?
I am still NOT the Original Poster. That is u/ThrowRA-scarecrow. She posted in relationship_advice. Thank you to u/Direct-Caterpillar77 for the original recommendation and to u/ivy5kin for letting me know about the update
Previous BORU here. New Updates (starting with one from a few months ago and ending with one 7 days old) marked with ****\*
Mood Spoiler: utterly terrifying and disturbing
Original Post: March 16, 2024
My husband (42m) and I (35f) tried for so long to have our boys and girl. Due to a health issue my husband suffered he developed fertility issues and we had to get medical assistance to be able to have our children because if we didn’t he’d probably never have kids. So we went through fertility treatment. He desperately wanted his own biological children and we spent a fortune just to bring them into the world and now he’s jealous and distant with them?
He’s constantly in competition with his own infant children. If I hold the children he gets frustrated. Any time they take my attention away he gets completely pissy. He’s always in a foul mood, irritable and just down right nasty. I don’t understand it. Why is he like this? Our children are barely 6 months and they won’t stop crying every time he’s near. I feel like they can sense his negativity. I tried talking to him. Ive suggested he take interest in the kids and spend more time with us as a family. I know it can sometimes take a little longer for parents to bond with their children but this is down right scary to experience. He’s full of jealousy and envy. He sees our children as competition to my time and affections.
A few times now he has made comments about feeling frustrated that I still breast feed our children. The thing is we mix feed so he has had ample opportunity to feed them and he just doesn’t. He also said that this (meaning our life&our marriage after children) wasn’t what he thought it would be like. I mean what did he expect? A singular baby cries and three of them cry a lot.
We’ve been together for 8 years and married for 7 years. He wanted these children. He pushed for them and now this. I never thought this would ever be me. I am scared. I am scared for my children. I have tried talking to him but he just brushes me off. I’ve suggested counseling. He refuses. He tells me it’s all in my head. I want to save this marriage but I am scared I won’t be able to and maybe it’s not worth saving.
He comes home later everyday. He avoids us on the weekends and any time he has off. I’m not ashamed to say that I went through his phone and there are a lot flirtatious text between him and a “Jessica”. I don’t think anything has happened between them but it sure looks like they are building up to it. I haven’t said anything because I’m afraid. Where do I go with three children, with no money and no family that can help me? I haven’t worked in two years and I’ve spent all my savings on having these children. My mind is in a complete meltdown. I can’t sleep I can’t think and I’m always exhausted.
What the hell happened? Is this him now forever?
Edit: Some of you are some real evil bastards ! Stop blaming me for him mistreating me! I do not deserve to be treated this way and neither do my kids! Stop messaging me evil things!
Relevant Comments:
Examples of 'competition':
If I’m with the kids and say I’m feeding them he gets upset I’m focusing on them and not him, or as he likes to say I’m fussing over them. He expects they sleep through the night and gets upset when I’m with them instead of in bed with him. He has even made weird comments about me loving them more than him.
Did he really want kids or did YOU want kids?
Due to my husband’s fertility issues he was the one pushing for us to have kids. He knew early on that he had a health condition and wanted us to have children way earlier but I asked if we could wait but then his condition worsened so we agreed to get treatment before he couldn’t have any kids. He desperately wanted to be a father and they are biologically ours. His desire to be a father was one of the qualities I liked about him when we started dating.
I’ve always worked and the plan was for me to stay home for the first 2/3 years and perhaps work part time until the kids were school aged. But that’s out the window now because I don’t want to ever be this vulnerable! I’ve been brushing off my cv and scouring the internet for a job. I will never allow myself to be this vulnerable again.
Does he help at ALL? Do you have a support system you could go to?
He doesn’t help me at all. I take care of our kids on my own. My parents are long gone and my sister is abroad. She stayed with us for the birth and a month after the children were born. She lives in France but she’s due to return home this summer. So I know I’ll have her help when she’s back. But I’m trying not to bother her as she’s going through a divorce.
I’ve suggested couples counseling and he refuses. He says everything is in my head.
I’m actually even crying writing this but I do have a small to go bag in the trunk of my car. Just incase. I feel like I’m not being rational because he doesn’t hurt me or the kids but I feel like I’m constantly walking on eggshells. Like what happened to my happy go lucky husband? Who’s this person I’m afraid of?
Are they his biologically? Did you guys go to a support group for infertility treatment?
We didn’t use any sperm or egg donations. The kids are his and mine biologically.
We also went to a support group, two support groups actually. One of them was for couples and the other for men experiencing infertility. He also went to individual therapy to deal with his emotional issues around infertility.
Update Post: March 19, 2024 (3 days later)
Title: He’s (42m) been pinching my (35f) babies?
Thank you to the person who said I should watch his interactions with my babies more closely and frequently. Not even hours after I posted here asking for advice I caught him pinching my son!
While I was scrolling on here and replying to people I decided to check my baby monitor and I watched my husband enter our children’s room and insult them in a hushed and whispery tone. I couldn’t make out much of what he was saying but he was without a doubt telling them that he hated them and wished them dead. Then he pinched my son and my baby boy didn’t even cry which made me think he’s done this many times before.
It all happened so fast and by the time I could make sense of what was happening on the monitor he was already walking down the hallway and down the stairs. At the same time I had lept off the sofa and pretty much tackled him as he came off the stairs. We got into a physical and verbal altercation, we fought, argued and shouted for hours. I guess the police were called by the neighbors because the next thing I know the police are banging on my door. I explained the situation to the police and the officers said that they could not prove that my baby was harmed since he didn’t have a bruise and my baby monitor was only on live feed and not simultaneously recording. Eventually they got my husband to agree to pack a bag and leave. He left reluctantly.
He has since been blowing up my phone begging for forgiveness, talking about how he’s been depressed and stressed by the babies, and that his anxiety and jealousy got the best of him. I just responded once telling him to go fuck himself. I’ve also been in contact with a lawyer and she’s advised me to leave him unblocked incase he further incriminates himself. I don’t even recognize who this man is! Where did this all come from?
How did this happen? Has any other parent experienced this? How did you handle this?
Before y’all start jumping down my throat I am absolutely getting a divorce and I will do everything in my power to get full custody. I did take my children to our family doctor and they are in good health and there are no other signs of abuse. I’ve filled a report with the police and my lawyer is dealing with it. I’m also about to start the process of divorce.
Relevant Comments:
Commenter: He just wants more and better access to his victims. This is someone who gets off on hurting children. Actual human beings who are stressed and depressed do not sneak around abusing children for their dopamine hits.
I’ve set the monitor up to record now! I’ve also ordered a home security system and will be installing it real soon!
On what OOP is doing to protect them:
I’m doing everything I can to protect them! This all happened a few days ago but I am in the process of getting a temporary restraining order. My lawyer is handling it and I understand it takes some time to actually get one and in the meantime I’ve been advised that I can just deny him visitation until he gets a judgement from the courts that forces me to grant him access to my babies but that takes time. So in the meantime he can’t force me or my babies to see him.
I’ve recorded every call and saved ever text. Literally documenting everything. Thankfully he’s saying and texting a goldmine of incriminating things that I hope would be sufficient information for a judge to give me and my babies a restraining/protective order and for family court to grant me primary and sole custody.
Did you tell him you saw the pinch?
Yes. He at first told me I was imagining things. Then switched to saying he was just frustrated our son wouldn’t go to sleep. Then he started saying that he was angry that our son was interrupting our “personal time” and that he was doing it on purpose because the other babies were asleep so why wasn’t he?
Honestly nothing he says makes sense to me. Like my baby boy was just laying there sleepy and he would’ve fallen back to sleep by himself that bastard actually woke him up with his pinching and insults.
He says he went in their room to check up on them and I call bullshit on that he went in there to torment my children. Who in their right mind whispers death to two sleeping babies and a another half asleep baby?!
Did he tell you that over phone or text?
This was on a call which I’ve recorded!
*****Update Post 2: April 10, 2024 (3 weeks after OG post)****\*
Title: How did it go so wrong? For my (36f) birthday he (42m) broke into the house?
Every conversation with him (42m) feels like I’m (36f) losing my mind. The only thing that has kept me semi-sane and able to track what he has been doing is my audio journal and my posts on here.
Last week it was my thirty sixth birthday. Actually I had forgotten it was my birthday and was reminded by my sister that it was in fact my birthday. I decided I couldn’t mope around the house and I got my kids dressed to go shopping and get groceries. We got back and I put away half of the groceries but my babies were fussy and so to tire them out and ready them for bed we went for a walk. When I got back home he was in the kitchen cooking and putting away some of the groceries I had left out. He greeted me and acted normal. I didn’t react because his entire demeanour was freaking me out so I played along. I went upstairs and got the kids down. I did think of walking out the front door but he was kind of anticipating it and so he was following me around and I thought in the moment that the best thing I could do was to get my kids upstairs and away from him. He said he wanted to talk and clear the air because this has “gone on too long”.
We had a long conversation and it started out reasonable but eventually spiralled out of control. We got into physical confrontation because I refused to let him stay. He tried to physically intimidate me and he, well hurt me. While he was hurting me I was still able to contact the police. It took them a excruciatingly long 20/25 minutes to get there.
So here I am sitting with two completely black and blue eyes, a busted lip, swollen face,massive knots on my head and bruises all over. I don’t know what happened to my life or how I got here but here I am. I can’t even look my neighbors in the eyes. I can’t go outside without seeing the shocked faces of people.
I have never felt so ashamed, so humiliated, so hurt and so utterly stupid. I thought I made all the right choices in life. What did I do wrong? When did it all get so fucked? I mean I think I did everything right? Like I created a stable life for myself then picked a man that at time was a very loving partner, I married that man and waited five years before even going through the process of having children with him and now once I’ve had his children he’s just beating on me and our babies?
Edit: My sister is now aware of what’s been happening and she is supporting me as best as she can. I have plans to move out but since I’m not working right now I need some time to save up.
His family is also aware. His family refused to believe that I saw him hurt our child but they can’t deny this attack now that they’ve seen my bruises. Also yes he was arrested and he was bailed out by his brother. He’s currently staying with his brother.
Relevant Comments:
I’m in contact with a dv organization that my lawyer has put me in contact with. I did have a locksmith come out and I have new locks. I also have a couple of safety locks for my windows, and security cameras around the house and I changed our security code but honestly he doesn’t give a shit.
He despite it all broke in and beat the living shit out of me.
Making the audio journal:
I really didn’t make my audio journal to use as evidence. I literally made it because he makes me feel like I’m insane! I never know which version of him I’ll get at any given time. I also keep my journal to keep track of what he says. Every conversation with him makes me lose grip of my fleeting sanity.
Leaving the house:
The biggest reason I haven’t left my home is because he would without a doubt say I abducted the children! I’m already withholding my children from him since I caught him hurting my six month old son.
On advice of my lawyer I have stayed put. It’s my best option for now and it shows that I’ve been reasonably measured in my actions.
Restraining order?
I am in the process of getting one.
Update Post 3: April 25, 2024 (15 days later, almost 6 weeks from OG post)
Title: It was all for the love of another woman? Who barely knew of his existence? He (42m) hurt my (36f) children to further his own selfish desires
I say all of this without exaggeration. I am certain he was getting ready to kill us. After nearly 8 months of turmoil I’m finally close to understanding.
My soon to be ex husband is in love with a woman he came across on social media and he has been obsessing over her for at least a year. She also happens to be a sex worker and he was paying her for her time and attention. In his mind he believed they could have a future together if only he could get rid of my children and me. Even though this woman gave him no inkling that she even wanted to be with him. He has spent so much of our money on this woman. I am at a loss for words that could accurately describe the situation. I can barely believe half of the things he’s been up to.
I’ve spent the past few weeks playing detective and I finally decided to contact “Jessica”. This is obviously not her name but I need to call her something. I contacted Jessica and at first she was very reluctant to speak to me but I literally begged her to and she was kind enough to get on the phone with me.
She told me that she had been seeing him for awhile but she stopped seeing him because he started to scare her. He was sending her unhinged messages and voicemails. He had been stalking her and trying to convince her to be with him. Jessica eventually stopped seeing him and had him blocked and I guess this is when he started to escalate from emotional abuse to physically abusing my children and myself. He was looking for a way out and in his crazy mind, killing us would free him because the only reason Jessica wouldn’t be with him was because me and my children were in the way.
During our long call I also explained to Jessica what had been happening to me and she was genuinely kind and helpful. She also agreed to speak to my lawyer and to send them the thousands of unhinged texts, voicemails and voice notes he sent her. For a little while after our conversation a part of me genuinely hated Jessica and wanted to blame her for everything but the rational part of me pushed out those unreasonable and dangerous thoughts especially after I read his disturbing texts and heard his voicemail/notes to Jessica. She has also been victimized by him.
Honestly there is nothing like listening to your husband and father of your children talk about how you and your children mean nothing to him and how he wishes you were dead. He could’ve just asked for a divorce or just got up and left. I sent him a few texts asking him why? (this was a one time thing and since then I’ve stopped all contact) Why do all of this? Why torment my babies? Why not just walk away? He responded with a message saying any conversation between us should be through our lawyers. His parents have him lawyered up. They know what he’s been up to and they’ve chosen to protect him. His father came to see me and in a not so direct way suggested he could pay me if I stopped talking about what his son has done and was planning on doing. Ever since he broke into the house and pretty much tried to kill me I’ve told anyone who’d listen what he has done. At this point even his colleagues know.
Relevant Comments:
I have emergency custody of my kids and a protective order. I’m in the process of getting two trained guard dogs haven’t gotten very far though and I have a security system.
I’m also seriously considering a gun. More than seriously actually I’ve applied for a permit. Of course I do plan on taking lessons in gun safety and training.
Be careful with the dogs, he may just kill them:
He probably would but the few seconds to minutes he needs in order to do that is perhaps the chance I need to save my children and myself.
This may seem horrible to you but I rather have them as a buffer then my children getting harmed. I of course don’t want this to happen but I’m in a situation now where I need to do everything I can to protect my children.
His parents:
Oh they really are bastards and refuse to believe their precious son could ever do the things he’s done despite the fact that I installed security cameras after I caught him abusing my babies and despite the fact that my neighbors have signed witness statements attesting to the fact that they saw him break into my house and attack me. They’ve seen the police report. They’ve seen the pictures of my battered face and bruised body. They are feigning ignorance but they know, and I know they know.
You don't want to give him ammunition in the divorce- maybe stop telling people?
Actually me telling people has been the best thing I’ve done so far. It’s what has kept me safe. My neighbors now look out for his car and call the police if they see he’s anywhere near the house.
What was he like before all of this? Were there any signs?
We’ve been married for nearly 8 years. Will actually be 8 years in 2 months. We never had any issues. Sure we had minor squabbles but that was few and far in between. Never did I have any issues that would lead me to think that he’d try to hurt us let alone kill us.
It was during my pregnancy and birth that he became verbally and emotionally abusive, this is also the time period he met Jessica and started fantasizing about running away with her. He was angry and jealous that my attention was more on the pregnancy and the babies and this built resentment towards me and my children. It also pushed him more into his obsession with Jessica and when he was also rejected by her, he spiraled into this insane mindset. At the same time he escalated into verbally and physically abusing our infant children and when I found out he hurt my children, I attacked him. I caught him hurting my son and we physically fought and my neighbors called the police and he was escorted out of the house. Then he came back and broke into the house, he attacked me and beat me into a bloody mess. He was arrested for this. I’ve since attained a lawyer and I’ve been granted emergency custody and a protective order.
Again- why isn't he in jail?
He’s out on bail.
Update Post 3: May 11, 2024 (2+ weeks later)
Editor's note: This post was deleted by reddit. I have transcribed it from this youtube video and this tiktok video
Title: My (36f) husband (42m) has been arrested for stalking and attempting to abduct his former “mistress”.
Last week Thursday at approximately 2:00 AM in the morning, my (36F) husband (42m) of nearly 8 years was arrested outside of Jessica's house, (the sex worker he met online and used to pay to spend time with him until he started to creep her out by his stalking and obsession.)
When he was arrested, they found in his truck small baggies with drug residue and they also found tools of abduction. I honestly do not know what these are exactly.
My soon to be ex FIL called me at around 4:45/4:50 AM to tell me that his son was arrested. My FIL was the one who used the term tools of abduction. When I asked him what the hell that means, he said he didn't have time for my interrogation tactics. He then asked if I could help them find a lawyer for him and to stand by his son throughout all of this. When I said to him "how the hell am I supposed to find a lawyer this early in the morning," he lost his shit and then was just screaming.
My soon to be ex MIL took over the phone, telling me that I'm a goddamn b****, and that all this is my fault. I hung up before she could say anymore.
I never knew this man to take drugs. Sure, he drank occasionally, but hard drugs? I honestly don't know what's happening anymore or how I got here. I mean it does make sense he was on cocaine the past 7/8 months now that I look back at things.
I mean, I don't even know anything about drugs to be able to recognize the behavior pattern, but once I researched it, it seemed clear. The moodiness, the disappearances, the lies, the anger, the sudden outburst and the violence- it all points to drug usage, as well as him being an abusive piece of shit.
His parents and the rest of his family had called and texted me so much abusive shit and they occasionally switched to begging me to go see him or pick up his calls, but I've mainly ignored them. I don't have the time, the energy or the love that is needed to be there for this man and his parents. I've given him eight years of my love and affection, and he spat it back into my face during the hardest and most vulnerable time of my life
Also, why would they think I'd help him after everything he's done? Especially since I think he deserves to be in jail for not only hurting my children, but also for hurting myself and Jessica.
I hope and pray he's jailed for the rest of his natural life. I mean I've tried being a good wife, but he has attacked my children. He has attacked me. He has lied and tormented us, and I'm supposed to help him?
I don't even know how I got here. How did we get here?
I've packed everything up and I'm leaving. I'm disappearing with my kids, and anything else between me and these people can be handled through my lawyer. The only person who knows where I'm moving to is my lawyer and my sister. I mean what else can I do to protect my children? His entire family blames me. And how do I keep my head high when I'm now being treated like I'm an evil and disgusting person by pretty much everyone I once called a family? These people are trying to destroy me inside and out, and I don't know how to survive them. How am I supposed to rebuild my life when they won't stop tormenting me?
In less than a year of their birth, I've managed to fail my children...
TLDR: My soon to be ex-husband was arrested while stalking his former mistress/sex worker and during his arrest they found drug residue and tools for abduction
Relevant Comments:
Change your surname/the kids' surnames:
My kids and I have double-barreled surnames (my surname and their dads) but when I can we will drop his and we’ll all go by just mine.
People blaming OOP:
The sad fucking thing it’s not only his parents. It seems like everyone is blaming me.
OOP's response to a crappy (now deleted) comment:
“ You need to discover the reasons why you failed to notice or do anything about everything that was going on with him. You have to build skills so you can take full ownership over your own life.”
This genuinely has me fucking raging right now! I feel like everyone keeps blaming me!
And I don’t know why everyone keeps blaming me for his shit! We didn’t have any problems in the previous 7 years of our marriage. He started doing drugs during my pregnancy and this is when he started to behave abnormally. I tried to get him help because I thought it was depression or the stress of being a new parent.
When I noticed his irritablity, combativeness and generally shitty behavior was more than just depression or jealousy of me spending more time with my new born children, I kicked him out, I got a lawyer and involved the police because there no way in hell I’d stay with someone who hurt my children or let him get away with it and I also made sure to get emergency custody of my children. This is also around the same time when he spiralled into using more drugs. I don’t know what else I could’ve done but I know I took all the right steps when I noticed his escalation!
I’m so sick of everyone acting like I was making him do drugs and like I’m suppose to know that he’d ruin my life after having had a good marriage before he started taking drugs and going out of his mind.
What has your lawyer said about disappearing?
I currently have emergency custody. My lawyer is the one who suggested to disappear (meaning moving to new house and not letting anyone know) because she says this is a time of great danger and I heartily agree. Since my ex-husband first went to look for me at the house but me and my children went to stay somewhere else for a few days because I was scared he’d come back after he broke into the house previously and attacked me.
submitted by LucyAriaRose to BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]
Previous BORU here. New Updates (starting with one from a few months ago and ending with one 7 days old) marked with ****\*
Read trigger warnings
Trigger Warnings: infant abuse; spousal abuse; drug use; stalking; kidnapping attemptMood Spoiler: utterly terrifying and disturbing
Original Post: March 16, 2024
My husband (42m) and I (35f) tried for so long to have our boys and girl. Due to a health issue my husband suffered he developed fertility issues and we had to get medical assistance to be able to have our children because if we didn’t he’d probably never have kids. So we went through fertility treatment. He desperately wanted his own biological children and we spent a fortune just to bring them into the world and now he’s jealous and distant with them?
He’s constantly in competition with his own infant children. If I hold the children he gets frustrated. Any time they take my attention away he gets completely pissy. He’s always in a foul mood, irritable and just down right nasty. I don’t understand it. Why is he like this? Our children are barely 6 months and they won’t stop crying every time he’s near. I feel like they can sense his negativity. I tried talking to him. Ive suggested he take interest in the kids and spend more time with us as a family. I know it can sometimes take a little longer for parents to bond with their children but this is down right scary to experience. He’s full of jealousy and envy. He sees our children as competition to my time and affections.
A few times now he has made comments about feeling frustrated that I still breast feed our children. The thing is we mix feed so he has had ample opportunity to feed them and he just doesn’t. He also said that this (meaning our life&our marriage after children) wasn’t what he thought it would be like. I mean what did he expect? A singular baby cries and three of them cry a lot.
We’ve been together for 8 years and married for 7 years. He wanted these children. He pushed for them and now this. I never thought this would ever be me. I am scared. I am scared for my children. I have tried talking to him but he just brushes me off. I’ve suggested counseling. He refuses. He tells me it’s all in my head. I want to save this marriage but I am scared I won’t be able to and maybe it’s not worth saving.
He comes home later everyday. He avoids us on the weekends and any time he has off. I’m not ashamed to say that I went through his phone and there are a lot flirtatious text between him and a “Jessica”. I don’t think anything has happened between them but it sure looks like they are building up to it. I haven’t said anything because I’m afraid. Where do I go with three children, with no money and no family that can help me? I haven’t worked in two years and I’ve spent all my savings on having these children. My mind is in a complete meltdown. I can’t sleep I can’t think and I’m always exhausted.
What the hell happened? Is this him now forever?
Edit: Some of you are some real evil bastards ! Stop blaming me for him mistreating me! I do not deserve to be treated this way and neither do my kids! Stop messaging me evil things!
Relevant Comments:
Examples of 'competition':
If I’m with the kids and say I’m feeding them he gets upset I’m focusing on them and not him, or as he likes to say I’m fussing over them. He expects they sleep through the night and gets upset when I’m with them instead of in bed with him. He has even made weird comments about me loving them more than him.
Did he really want kids or did YOU want kids?
Due to my husband’s fertility issues he was the one pushing for us to have kids. He knew early on that he had a health condition and wanted us to have children way earlier but I asked if we could wait but then his condition worsened so we agreed to get treatment before he couldn’t have any kids. He desperately wanted to be a father and they are biologically ours. His desire to be a father was one of the qualities I liked about him when we started dating.
I’ve always worked and the plan was for me to stay home for the first 2/3 years and perhaps work part time until the kids were school aged. But that’s out the window now because I don’t want to ever be this vulnerable! I’ve been brushing off my cv and scouring the internet for a job. I will never allow myself to be this vulnerable again.
Does he help at ALL? Do you have a support system you could go to?
He doesn’t help me at all. I take care of our kids on my own. My parents are long gone and my sister is abroad. She stayed with us for the birth and a month after the children were born. She lives in France but she’s due to return home this summer. So I know I’ll have her help when she’s back. But I’m trying not to bother her as she’s going through a divorce.
I’ve suggested couples counseling and he refuses. He says everything is in my head.
I’m actually even crying writing this but I do have a small to go bag in the trunk of my car. Just incase. I feel like I’m not being rational because he doesn’t hurt me or the kids but I feel like I’m constantly walking on eggshells. Like what happened to my happy go lucky husband? Who’s this person I’m afraid of?
Are they his biologically? Did you guys go to a support group for infertility treatment?
We didn’t use any sperm or egg donations. The kids are his and mine biologically.
We also went to a support group, two support groups actually. One of them was for couples and the other for men experiencing infertility. He also went to individual therapy to deal with his emotional issues around infertility.
Update Post: March 19, 2024 (3 days later)
Title: He’s (42m) been pinching my (35f) babies?
Thank you to the person who said I should watch his interactions with my babies more closely and frequently. Not even hours after I posted here asking for advice I caught him pinching my son!
While I was scrolling on here and replying to people I decided to check my baby monitor and I watched my husband enter our children’s room and insult them in a hushed and whispery tone. I couldn’t make out much of what he was saying but he was without a doubt telling them that he hated them and wished them dead. Then he pinched my son and my baby boy didn’t even cry which made me think he’s done this many times before.
It all happened so fast and by the time I could make sense of what was happening on the monitor he was already walking down the hallway and down the stairs. At the same time I had lept off the sofa and pretty much tackled him as he came off the stairs. We got into a physical and verbal altercation, we fought, argued and shouted for hours. I guess the police were called by the neighbors because the next thing I know the police are banging on my door. I explained the situation to the police and the officers said that they could not prove that my baby was harmed since he didn’t have a bruise and my baby monitor was only on live feed and not simultaneously recording. Eventually they got my husband to agree to pack a bag and leave. He left reluctantly.
He has since been blowing up my phone begging for forgiveness, talking about how he’s been depressed and stressed by the babies, and that his anxiety and jealousy got the best of him. I just responded once telling him to go fuck himself. I’ve also been in contact with a lawyer and she’s advised me to leave him unblocked incase he further incriminates himself. I don’t even recognize who this man is! Where did this all come from?
How did this happen? Has any other parent experienced this? How did you handle this?
Before y’all start jumping down my throat I am absolutely getting a divorce and I will do everything in my power to get full custody. I did take my children to our family doctor and they are in good health and there are no other signs of abuse. I’ve filled a report with the police and my lawyer is dealing with it. I’m also about to start the process of divorce.
Relevant Comments:
Commenter: He just wants more and better access to his victims. This is someone who gets off on hurting children. Actual human beings who are stressed and depressed do not sneak around abusing children for their dopamine hits.
OOP: Exactly! I’m tired, stressed, depressed and I’m physically still not fully healed from the pregnancy and the cesarean birth but not once have I thought of hurting anyone let alone a baby! I don’t buy his bullshit excuses. He clearly knew what he was doing was wrong otherwise he wouldn’t have been sneaking around and being all hush hush. I do not believe him for one second. He’s a goddamn beastly man.Update the monitor to one that records:
I’ve set the monitor up to record now! I’ve also ordered a home security system and will be installing it real soon!
On what OOP is doing to protect them:
I’m doing everything I can to protect them! This all happened a few days ago but I am in the process of getting a temporary restraining order. My lawyer is handling it and I understand it takes some time to actually get one and in the meantime I’ve been advised that I can just deny him visitation until he gets a judgement from the courts that forces me to grant him access to my babies but that takes time. So in the meantime he can’t force me or my babies to see him.
I’ve recorded every call and saved ever text. Literally documenting everything. Thankfully he’s saying and texting a goldmine of incriminating things that I hope would be sufficient information for a judge to give me and my babies a restraining/protective order and for family court to grant me primary and sole custody.
Did you tell him you saw the pinch?
Yes. He at first told me I was imagining things. Then switched to saying he was just frustrated our son wouldn’t go to sleep. Then he started saying that he was angry that our son was interrupting our “personal time” and that he was doing it on purpose because the other babies were asleep so why wasn’t he?
Honestly nothing he says makes sense to me. Like my baby boy was just laying there sleepy and he would’ve fallen back to sleep by himself that bastard actually woke him up with his pinching and insults.
He says he went in their room to check up on them and I call bullshit on that he went in there to torment my children. Who in their right mind whispers death to two sleeping babies and a another half asleep baby?!
Did he tell you that over phone or text?
This was on a call which I’ve recorded!
*****Update Post 2: April 10, 2024 (3 weeks after OG post)****\*
Title: How did it go so wrong? For my (36f) birthday he (42m) broke into the house?
Every conversation with him (42m) feels like I’m (36f) losing my mind. The only thing that has kept me semi-sane and able to track what he has been doing is my audio journal and my posts on here.
Last week it was my thirty sixth birthday. Actually I had forgotten it was my birthday and was reminded by my sister that it was in fact my birthday. I decided I couldn’t mope around the house and I got my kids dressed to go shopping and get groceries. We got back and I put away half of the groceries but my babies were fussy and so to tire them out and ready them for bed we went for a walk. When I got back home he was in the kitchen cooking and putting away some of the groceries I had left out. He greeted me and acted normal. I didn’t react because his entire demeanour was freaking me out so I played along. I went upstairs and got the kids down. I did think of walking out the front door but he was kind of anticipating it and so he was following me around and I thought in the moment that the best thing I could do was to get my kids upstairs and away from him. He said he wanted to talk and clear the air because this has “gone on too long”.
We had a long conversation and it started out reasonable but eventually spiralled out of control. We got into physical confrontation because I refused to let him stay. He tried to physically intimidate me and he, well hurt me. While he was hurting me I was still able to contact the police. It took them a excruciatingly long 20/25 minutes to get there.
So here I am sitting with two completely black and blue eyes, a busted lip, swollen face,massive knots on my head and bruises all over. I don’t know what happened to my life or how I got here but here I am. I can’t even look my neighbors in the eyes. I can’t go outside without seeing the shocked faces of people.
I have never felt so ashamed, so humiliated, so hurt and so utterly stupid. I thought I made all the right choices in life. What did I do wrong? When did it all get so fucked? I mean I think I did everything right? Like I created a stable life for myself then picked a man that at time was a very loving partner, I married that man and waited five years before even going through the process of having children with him and now once I’ve had his children he’s just beating on me and our babies?
Edit: My sister is now aware of what’s been happening and she is supporting me as best as she can. I have plans to move out but since I’m not working right now I need some time to save up.
His family is also aware. His family refused to believe that I saw him hurt our child but they can’t deny this attack now that they’ve seen my bruises. Also yes he was arrested and he was bailed out by his brother. He’s currently staying with his brother.
Relevant Comments:
I’m in contact with a dv organization that my lawyer has put me in contact with. I did have a locksmith come out and I have new locks. I also have a couple of safety locks for my windows, and security cameras around the house and I changed our security code but honestly he doesn’t give a shit.
He despite it all broke in and beat the living shit out of me.
Making the audio journal:
I really didn’t make my audio journal to use as evidence. I literally made it because he makes me feel like I’m insane! I never know which version of him I’ll get at any given time. I also keep my journal to keep track of what he says. Every conversation with him makes me lose grip of my fleeting sanity.
Leaving the house:
The biggest reason I haven’t left my home is because he would without a doubt say I abducted the children! I’m already withholding my children from him since I caught him hurting my six month old son.
On advice of my lawyer I have stayed put. It’s my best option for now and it shows that I’ve been reasonably measured in my actions.
Restraining order?
I am in the process of getting one.
Update Post 3: April 25, 2024 (15 days later, almost 6 weeks from OG post)
Title: It was all for the love of another woman? Who barely knew of his existence? He (42m) hurt my (36f) children to further his own selfish desires
I say all of this without exaggeration. I am certain he was getting ready to kill us. After nearly 8 months of turmoil I’m finally close to understanding.
My soon to be ex husband is in love with a woman he came across on social media and he has been obsessing over her for at least a year. She also happens to be a sex worker and he was paying her for her time and attention. In his mind he believed they could have a future together if only he could get rid of my children and me. Even though this woman gave him no inkling that she even wanted to be with him. He has spent so much of our money on this woman. I am at a loss for words that could accurately describe the situation. I can barely believe half of the things he’s been up to.
I’ve spent the past few weeks playing detective and I finally decided to contact “Jessica”. This is obviously not her name but I need to call her something. I contacted Jessica and at first she was very reluctant to speak to me but I literally begged her to and she was kind enough to get on the phone with me.
She told me that she had been seeing him for awhile but she stopped seeing him because he started to scare her. He was sending her unhinged messages and voicemails. He had been stalking her and trying to convince her to be with him. Jessica eventually stopped seeing him and had him blocked and I guess this is when he started to escalate from emotional abuse to physically abusing my children and myself. He was looking for a way out and in his crazy mind, killing us would free him because the only reason Jessica wouldn’t be with him was because me and my children were in the way.
During our long call I also explained to Jessica what had been happening to me and she was genuinely kind and helpful. She also agreed to speak to my lawyer and to send them the thousands of unhinged texts, voicemails and voice notes he sent her. For a little while after our conversation a part of me genuinely hated Jessica and wanted to blame her for everything but the rational part of me pushed out those unreasonable and dangerous thoughts especially after I read his disturbing texts and heard his voicemail/notes to Jessica. She has also been victimized by him.
Honestly there is nothing like listening to your husband and father of your children talk about how you and your children mean nothing to him and how he wishes you were dead. He could’ve just asked for a divorce or just got up and left. I sent him a few texts asking him why? (this was a one time thing and since then I’ve stopped all contact) Why do all of this? Why torment my babies? Why not just walk away? He responded with a message saying any conversation between us should be through our lawyers. His parents have him lawyered up. They know what he’s been up to and they’ve chosen to protect him. His father came to see me and in a not so direct way suggested he could pay me if I stopped talking about what his son has done and was planning on doing. Ever since he broke into the house and pretty much tried to kill me I’ve told anyone who’d listen what he has done. At this point even his colleagues know.
Relevant Comments:
I have emergency custody of my kids and a protective order. I’m in the process of getting two trained guard dogs haven’t gotten very far though and I have a security system.
I’m also seriously considering a gun. More than seriously actually I’ve applied for a permit. Of course I do plan on taking lessons in gun safety and training.
Be careful with the dogs, he may just kill them:
He probably would but the few seconds to minutes he needs in order to do that is perhaps the chance I need to save my children and myself.
This may seem horrible to you but I rather have them as a buffer then my children getting harmed. I of course don’t want this to happen but I’m in a situation now where I need to do everything I can to protect my children.
His parents:
Oh they really are bastards and refuse to believe their precious son could ever do the things he’s done despite the fact that I installed security cameras after I caught him abusing my babies and despite the fact that my neighbors have signed witness statements attesting to the fact that they saw him break into my house and attack me. They’ve seen the police report. They’ve seen the pictures of my battered face and bruised body. They are feigning ignorance but they know, and I know they know.
You don't want to give him ammunition in the divorce- maybe stop telling people?
Actually me telling people has been the best thing I’ve done so far. It’s what has kept me safe. My neighbors now look out for his car and call the police if they see he’s anywhere near the house.
What was he like before all of this? Were there any signs?
We’ve been married for nearly 8 years. Will actually be 8 years in 2 months. We never had any issues. Sure we had minor squabbles but that was few and far in between. Never did I have any issues that would lead me to think that he’d try to hurt us let alone kill us.
It was during my pregnancy and birth that he became verbally and emotionally abusive, this is also the time period he met Jessica and started fantasizing about running away with her. He was angry and jealous that my attention was more on the pregnancy and the babies and this built resentment towards me and my children. It also pushed him more into his obsession with Jessica and when he was also rejected by her, he spiraled into this insane mindset. At the same time he escalated into verbally and physically abusing our infant children and when I found out he hurt my children, I attacked him. I caught him hurting my son and we physically fought and my neighbors called the police and he was escorted out of the house. Then he came back and broke into the house, he attacked me and beat me into a bloody mess. He was arrested for this. I’ve since attained a lawyer and I’ve been granted emergency custody and a protective order.
Again- why isn't he in jail?
He’s out on bail.
Update Post 3: May 11, 2024 (2+ weeks later)
Editor's note: This post was deleted by reddit. I have transcribed it from this youtube video and this tiktok video
Title: My (36f) husband (42m) has been arrested for stalking and attempting to abduct his former “mistress”.
Last week Thursday at approximately 2:00 AM in the morning, my (36F) husband (42m) of nearly 8 years was arrested outside of Jessica's house, (the sex worker he met online and used to pay to spend time with him until he started to creep her out by his stalking and obsession.)
When he was arrested, they found in his truck small baggies with drug residue and they also found tools of abduction. I honestly do not know what these are exactly.
My soon to be ex FIL called me at around 4:45/4:50 AM to tell me that his son was arrested. My FIL was the one who used the term tools of abduction. When I asked him what the hell that means, he said he didn't have time for my interrogation tactics. He then asked if I could help them find a lawyer for him and to stand by his son throughout all of this. When I said to him "how the hell am I supposed to find a lawyer this early in the morning," he lost his shit and then was just screaming.
My soon to be ex MIL took over the phone, telling me that I'm a goddamn b****, and that all this is my fault. I hung up before she could say anymore.
I never knew this man to take drugs. Sure, he drank occasionally, but hard drugs? I honestly don't know what's happening anymore or how I got here. I mean it does make sense he was on cocaine the past 7/8 months now that I look back at things.
I mean, I don't even know anything about drugs to be able to recognize the behavior pattern, but once I researched it, it seemed clear. The moodiness, the disappearances, the lies, the anger, the sudden outburst and the violence- it all points to drug usage, as well as him being an abusive piece of shit.
His parents and the rest of his family had called and texted me so much abusive shit and they occasionally switched to begging me to go see him or pick up his calls, but I've mainly ignored them. I don't have the time, the energy or the love that is needed to be there for this man and his parents. I've given him eight years of my love and affection, and he spat it back into my face during the hardest and most vulnerable time of my life
Also, why would they think I'd help him after everything he's done? Especially since I think he deserves to be in jail for not only hurting my children, but also for hurting myself and Jessica.
I hope and pray he's jailed for the rest of his natural life. I mean I've tried being a good wife, but he has attacked my children. He has attacked me. He has lied and tormented us, and I'm supposed to help him?
I don't even know how I got here. How did we get here?
I've packed everything up and I'm leaving. I'm disappearing with my kids, and anything else between me and these people can be handled through my lawyer. The only person who knows where I'm moving to is my lawyer and my sister. I mean what else can I do to protect my children? His entire family blames me. And how do I keep my head high when I'm now being treated like I'm an evil and disgusting person by pretty much everyone I once called a family? These people are trying to destroy me inside and out, and I don't know how to survive them. How am I supposed to rebuild my life when they won't stop tormenting me?
In less than a year of their birth, I've managed to fail my children...
TLDR: My soon to be ex-husband was arrested while stalking his former mistress/sex worker and during his arrest they found drug residue and tools for abduction
Relevant Comments:
Change your surname/the kids' surnames:
My kids and I have double-barreled surnames (my surname and their dads) but when I can we will drop his and we’ll all go by just mine.
People blaming OOP:
The sad fucking thing it’s not only his parents. It seems like everyone is blaming me.
OOP's response to a crappy (now deleted) comment:
“ You need to discover the reasons why you failed to notice or do anything about everything that was going on with him. You have to build skills so you can take full ownership over your own life.”
This genuinely has me fucking raging right now! I feel like everyone keeps blaming me!
And I don’t know why everyone keeps blaming me for his shit! We didn’t have any problems in the previous 7 years of our marriage. He started doing drugs during my pregnancy and this is when he started to behave abnormally. I tried to get him help because I thought it was depression or the stress of being a new parent.
When I noticed his irritablity, combativeness and generally shitty behavior was more than just depression or jealousy of me spending more time with my new born children, I kicked him out, I got a lawyer and involved the police because there no way in hell I’d stay with someone who hurt my children or let him get away with it and I also made sure to get emergency custody of my children. This is also around the same time when he spiralled into using more drugs. I don’t know what else I could’ve done but I know I took all the right steps when I noticed his escalation!
I’m so sick of everyone acting like I was making him do drugs and like I’m suppose to know that he’d ruin my life after having had a good marriage before he started taking drugs and going out of his mind.
What has your lawyer said about disappearing?
I currently have emergency custody. My lawyer is the one who suggested to disappear (meaning moving to new house and not letting anyone know) because she says this is a time of great danger and I heartily agree. Since my ex-husband first went to look for me at the house but me and my children went to stay somewhere else for a few days because I was scared he’d come back after he broke into the house previously and attacked me.
2024.05.18 06:19 Thin-Landscape-6420 Gas Boiler and Central AC Upgrade Advice
Hello - I am looking for advice on how to upgrade the aging HVAC system for my ~3,800 square foot house in Massachusetts. The house was built in the early 1900s and has minimal wall insulation but does have attic and basement insulation. We currently have a ~17 year old Buderus GB142-60 gas boiler for heating and hot water, and we have three ~17 year old central AC units with three ~17 year old Space Pak air handlers pushing air through high velocity ducts. Our hot water is stored in an indirect Superstor tank that is also ~17 years old. In terms of zone layout:
1) We are open to considering a heatpump setup, but it seems like that may not be a straightforward option for our house given the mix of radiant floors and baseboard/radiators and given that we only have high velocity ducts (rather than regular sized heating / cooling ducts). Given our house's HVAC setup and layout, is it even worth exploring heat pumps?
2) What would be the "recommended" HVAC setup for our house given the mix of radiant floors and baseboard/radiators? Should we basically replace the Buderus with a more modern equivalent?
3) Currently, we don't have a way to control the temperature of the radiant floors other than by manually adjusting the Tekmar controllers in the basement utility closet. Our current HVAC service company has said we shouldn't install thermostats because it is better to not adjust the temperature of radiant floors. Are there any thermostat options that work reasonably well with radiant floors?
4) My sense is that both the boiler and AC are getting close to end of life and may not be worth repairing if/when they next break. Is that generally correct?
Thanks in advance for your advice!!
submitted by Thin-Landscape-6420 to hvacadvice [link] [comments]
- Finished basement - 900 sq. ft.
- Radiant floor heating (Zone 1)
- Central AC (Zone 1)
- First floor (addition) - 400 sq. ft.
- Radiant floor heating (Zone 2)
- Central AC (Zone 2) <-- same as rest of first floor
- First floor (main) - 1,200 sq. ft.
- Baseboard heating with a couple toekick heaters in the kitchen (Zone 3)
- Central AC (Zone 2) <-- same as first floor addition
- Second floor - 1,200 sq. ft.
- Free standing radiators in 3 rooms, baseboard in 1 room, toekicks in 1 room (Zone 4)
- Central AC (Zone 3)
- Unfinished attic
- No heating
- There is an intake for the second floor AC plus a couple vents in a portion of the attic. These vents are controlled by a damper connected to a thermostat in the attic. We leave the attic thermostat off so the damper is closed, although when the AC system is on, we can feel some cool air still flowing from the attic vents.
- We have no plans to finish the attic and do not need heating or cooling in the attic.
1) We are open to considering a heatpump setup, but it seems like that may not be a straightforward option for our house given the mix of radiant floors and baseboard/radiators and given that we only have high velocity ducts (rather than regular sized heating / cooling ducts). Given our house's HVAC setup and layout, is it even worth exploring heat pumps?
2) What would be the "recommended" HVAC setup for our house given the mix of radiant floors and baseboard/radiators? Should we basically replace the Buderus with a more modern equivalent?
3) Currently, we don't have a way to control the temperature of the radiant floors other than by manually adjusting the Tekmar controllers in the basement utility closet. Our current HVAC service company has said we shouldn't install thermostats because it is better to not adjust the temperature of radiant floors. Are there any thermostat options that work reasonably well with radiant floors?
4) My sense is that both the boiler and AC are getting close to end of life and may not be worth repairing if/when they next break. Is that generally correct?
Thanks in advance for your advice!!
2024.05.18 02:39 Due_Function4887 How do people like bugs more than bots?
I just got done playing through my two least favorite missions of helldivers ever. Level 8, full squad, all above level 40. We enter the mission and it’s 30 minutes of just hordes of bugs, no thought, just shoot at the stuff running at you. No less then one bile titan on the screen at any given time. Also, I don’t know if this has anything to do with bugs but my game crashed both times before the end.
my main issues with bugs are.
The bot outpost is a fort with walls, turrets, machine guns, mines, barbed wire, and only up to like seven factories, with only 50 enemies. plus, if they attack you from outside the outpost. You can defend and use the different parts of the outpost against them.
I know that they cannot change the last one because It would not make sense for the faction, and I don’t think they can fix the bug breaches, I just wanted to point out why the bots are more fun to deal with and better balanced overall.
I love this game, but from now on I will only be doing bugs if they are part of the MO or if there is a defense campaign.
EDIT: Just to clarify, I think that bugs are more difficult then bots.
submitted by Due_Function4887 to Helldivers [link] [comments]
my main issues with bugs are.
- The bug breaches.
- the enemies
- The outposts.
The bot outpost is a fort with walls, turrets, machine guns, mines, barbed wire, and only up to like seven factories, with only 50 enemies. plus, if they attack you from outside the outpost. You can defend and use the different parts of the outpost against them.
I know that they cannot change the last one because It would not make sense for the faction, and I don’t think they can fix the bug breaches, I just wanted to point out why the bots are more fun to deal with and better balanced overall.
I love this game, but from now on I will only be doing bugs if they are part of the MO or if there is a defense campaign.
EDIT: Just to clarify, I think that bugs are more difficult then bots.
2024.05.17 23:24 adriancha Golazo De Andrés Guardado con Flamengo a River Plate desde fuera del Area el Mexicano marco como CR7
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2024.05.17 22:27 Lordesssa Pancreatic duct dilatation?
Female, 65. Noted in my lumbar MRI report under Other: Limited imaging of the upper abdomen demonstrates non specific mild common bile duct and central main pancreatic duct dilatation with possible tiny choledochocele at the distal common bile duct at the ampulla. No evidence of choledocholithiasis.
This sounds concerning but my doctor has not responded to my question about it. I don't think I've had pancreatitis but have had bloating and acid reflux.
Should I assume more diagnostic tests and surgery in my future? My mind immediately goes to cancer. Trying to be realistic.
TIA
submitted by Lordesssa to AskDocs [link] [comments]
This sounds concerning but my doctor has not responded to my question about it. I don't think I've had pancreatitis but have had bloating and acid reflux.
Should I assume more diagnostic tests and surgery in my future? My mind immediately goes to cancer. Trying to be realistic.
TIA
2024.05.17 21:18 TransportationFar935 HE REALLY THINKS HES GANGSTER 😶🌫️😶🌫️😶🌫️😶🌫️😶🌫️😶🌫️😶🌫️😶🌫️😶🌫️😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
 | submitted by TransportationFar935 to chrismostellerscam [link] [comments] |
2024.05.17 20:08 Kakapocalypse What do you think different difficulties should feel like?
There's been a ton of discourse recently around balance of weapons and enemies (specifically bugs) with regards to how strong our helldivers are compared to them. There is a popular sentiment among many Helldivers atm that,
1) The weapons, both primary/secondary and strategems, need to be generally brought up to a higher power level, and
2) Bugs need to be tuned down/made vulnerable to wider range of weapons. I am mostly seeing the former argument applied to Bile Spewers and the latter to Bile Titans.
There are also many who disagree with 1 or both of these points. I am one of the many who personally agrees with point 1 and disagrees with point 2 (mostly). I was asking myself why it seems the fanbase is split on this, and it seems that there is a fundamental split in how folks view the expected difficulty of missions.
So how do you think it should go? How hard should D9, D8, D7 be? This is my personal view:
D1-3 should be mostly trivial, with the differences mostly being increasing the complexity so that newer gamers can get brought up to speed on how the game functions.
D4 and 5 should be mostly easy with challenging moments, more frequently in 5, that still easily support any loadout.
D6 should be the difficulty that feels most "balanced" and "fair." You can still succeed with any loadout but it can definitely be challenging at times, especially for a "less meta" combination.
D7+ I think this game should start to feel more like, say, Dark Souls. At D7, I would expect it to become a real challenge. Any strategems/loadout should be usable, but you need to pay attention to the overall composition.
D8 should start to feel unfair. Enemies should be very powerful and scary, and the game should feel somewhat stressful. It should be very hard to avoid dying at all in a match. Taking a balanced loadout should be essentially required, though again, any individual strat/gun should be usable (AH has work to do on some weapons for sure).
D9? It's helldive. It should feel like you are in Hell. Finishing every main, secondary, and tertiary (i.e. nests) objective on time with less than 10 overall deaths should be EXTREMELY difficult to achieve consistently. Enemies should feel overtuned and oppressive. Your loadout should be very deliberate and balanced to have a chance. The fun of this difficulty should be for folks that really want a challenge, and don't mind that it'll invariably turn messy. I think if someone plays exclusively with randos, it should be very difficult to achieve higher than a 75% win percentage.
That's just my (relatively worthless) opinion. I'm curious as to what others think, because I suspect some folks have a very different perspective on how it should feel across the difficulty range.
submitted by Kakapocalypse to Helldivers [link] [comments]
1) The weapons, both primary/secondary and strategems, need to be generally brought up to a higher power level, and
2) Bugs need to be tuned down/made vulnerable to wider range of weapons. I am mostly seeing the former argument applied to Bile Spewers and the latter to Bile Titans.
There are also many who disagree with 1 or both of these points. I am one of the many who personally agrees with point 1 and disagrees with point 2 (mostly). I was asking myself why it seems the fanbase is split on this, and it seems that there is a fundamental split in how folks view the expected difficulty of missions.
So how do you think it should go? How hard should D9, D8, D7 be? This is my personal view:
D1-3 should be mostly trivial, with the differences mostly being increasing the complexity so that newer gamers can get brought up to speed on how the game functions.
D4 and 5 should be mostly easy with challenging moments, more frequently in 5, that still easily support any loadout.
D6 should be the difficulty that feels most "balanced" and "fair." You can still succeed with any loadout but it can definitely be challenging at times, especially for a "less meta" combination.
D7+ I think this game should start to feel more like, say, Dark Souls. At D7, I would expect it to become a real challenge. Any strategems/loadout should be usable, but you need to pay attention to the overall composition.
D8 should start to feel unfair. Enemies should be very powerful and scary, and the game should feel somewhat stressful. It should be very hard to avoid dying at all in a match. Taking a balanced loadout should be essentially required, though again, any individual strat/gun should be usable (AH has work to do on some weapons for sure).
D9? It's helldive. It should feel like you are in Hell. Finishing every main, secondary, and tertiary (i.e. nests) objective on time with less than 10 overall deaths should be EXTREMELY difficult to achieve consistently. Enemies should feel overtuned and oppressive. Your loadout should be very deliberate and balanced to have a chance. The fun of this difficulty should be for folks that really want a challenge, and don't mind that it'll invariably turn messy. I think if someone plays exclusively with randos, it should be very difficult to achieve higher than a 75% win percentage.
That's just my (relatively worthless) opinion. I'm curious as to what others think, because I suspect some folks have a very different perspective on how it should feel across the difficulty range.
2024.05.17 16:21 CYBERP4WZ advice for troubles with partner system
// reposting because my wording originally broke rule 4 accidentally a little over a month ago, i was broken up with by our partner system. i was originally told this was a "mutual decision" (which i highly doubt because a few days before this happened, the internal self-helper told me directly that communication sucked at the time).
around like.. 2-3 weeks ago, one of my partners unblocked me and told me the truth. told me that the person who broke up with me wasn't even dating anyone in my system and just got overwhelmed with memories of dating me and wanted to break up because he personally was aroace and didn't like the memories he got. i was also told that another partner of mine within the system didn't even want to break up but forced herself to agree because of how this new host was so unstable.
after this explanation and some catching up, the new host starts fronting and telling me how he's going to keep my partner from contacting me because he personally "can't do this" and how he was "forced to love me"(????). i didn't even know this guy EXISTED before i was told. he kept telling me how the relationship is "not good" despite also saying in the same message that its "not [my] fault". i also got screenshots from my partner from this new host's group chat where he outright allows his friends to call me an abuser??? so i'm just fucking confused.
i understand that he's the main host now and i accept that, but i just hate that he ruined a relationship he wasn't involved in, to the point where he blocks me and prevents certain headmates from doing things (like contacting me). i just don't know what to do, i miss my bf and gf man
submitted by CYBERP4WZ to DID [link] [comments]
around like.. 2-3 weeks ago, one of my partners unblocked me and told me the truth. told me that the person who broke up with me wasn't even dating anyone in my system and just got overwhelmed with memories of dating me and wanted to break up because he personally was aroace and didn't like the memories he got. i was also told that another partner of mine within the system didn't even want to break up but forced herself to agree because of how this new host was so unstable.
after this explanation and some catching up, the new host starts fronting and telling me how he's going to keep my partner from contacting me because he personally "can't do this" and how he was "forced to love me"(????). i didn't even know this guy EXISTED before i was told. he kept telling me how the relationship is "not good" despite also saying in the same message that its "not [my] fault". i also got screenshots from my partner from this new host's group chat where he outright allows his friends to call me an abuser??? so i'm just fucking confused.
i understand that he's the main host now and i accept that, but i just hate that he ruined a relationship he wasn't involved in, to the point where he blocks me and prevents certain headmates from doing things (like contacting me). i just don't know what to do, i miss my bf and gf man
2024.05.17 13:31 TheBitterestSalt My journey to getting my weird gallbladder evicted
Unfortunately, following a somewhat crowded outdoor event, I ended up getting COVID for the second time. This was definitely worst than the first time because it caused all sorts of GI symptoms. I was ok for a bit, but started to notice ll my food was digesting super slowly and it kept going downhill from there. Now I thought it was just gastroparesis, and I was suffering from severe weight loss as well, and bloodwork showed some high cholesterol, so my primary recommended an ultrasound, and after that that I see a gastroenterologist and a liver doctor as well to rule out anything else. Ultrasound showed mild fatty liver and sludge in the gallbladder.
Liver doctor was useless and dismissive. According to her, my GERD was managed by "weight loss" (it was not; it was managed by not fucking eating onions all the time mainly LMAO and reducing other triggers like tomato sauce and oddly and specifically, chocolate mousse). She also recommended I see a nutritionist, which considering I just said I could barely tolerate any food and wasn't eating and experiencing rapid unexplained weight loss what good would that do? Didn't bother doing a follow-up.
Gastroenterologist was my savior frankly. She listened for one, had me do an endoscopy just to make sure I had no other stomach issues (just mild gastritis and a hernia, which I knew about), and after getting all my ultrasound scans as well, recommended surgery after some more spasms, pain, and my symptoms just not improving and experiencing more food sensitivities and intolerances. I went to the ER because my pain was getting worse and I couldn't take it, ultrasound was done there only for the sludge to have completely vanished even though i still had pain, got sent home because why would they do anything extra even though my pain was almost 24/7, but you know, no fever = oh you're fine lol. The ER doctor did recommend additional scans though, so I went back to my gastro, who ordered a HIDA scan.
HIDA scan gave me the proof I needed; my gallbladder had an EF of 19%, and she recommended a surgeon to me, had my appointment with him, gave him all of my medical results, told him my symptoms, and he immediately explained to me how laparoscopic surgery would work and boom, surgery ended up getting scheduled for the next week, and I was his first one of the day. Got that done yesterday, and while the anesthesia had me super down and out for the count and peeing afterwards sucks and is very very slow and irritating, it still doesn't compare to the gallbladder pain; I had to stop eating dinner and was living off of cream of wheat and baby snacks up until the surgery, and even water triggered pain. Didn't have any gallstones, but it turns out my gallbladder was "partly intrahepatic" and inflamed and I had a short cystic duct, so it was probably a matter of time before it started fucking up, but COVID might have accelerated it since I never had issues prior to getting it the second time, and i see other people in the sub have had similar (the first time I got COVID, it just attacked my lungs mostly, also messed with my motor skills and I had a lot of fatigue and heat intolerance).
That's my story, and I'm sharing because maybe it'll help someone else who was just as lost as I am. It's absolutely shitty, and the US healthcare system is a nightmare especially when you're a femme person of color, and I will say I got very lucky with my gastro. Just gotta keep trucking along and keep fighting to see the light at the end of the tunnel, rooting for yall!
EDIT: oh forgot to mention that my period started the literal day of surgery, but it didn't seem to affect much and the nurses were very kind enough to offer me two pads and surgical underwear!
submitted by TheBitterestSalt to gallbladders [link] [comments]
Liver doctor was useless and dismissive. According to her, my GERD was managed by "weight loss" (it was not; it was managed by not fucking eating onions all the time mainly LMAO and reducing other triggers like tomato sauce and oddly and specifically, chocolate mousse). She also recommended I see a nutritionist, which considering I just said I could barely tolerate any food and wasn't eating and experiencing rapid unexplained weight loss what good would that do? Didn't bother doing a follow-up.
Gastroenterologist was my savior frankly. She listened for one, had me do an endoscopy just to make sure I had no other stomach issues (just mild gastritis and a hernia, which I knew about), and after getting all my ultrasound scans as well, recommended surgery after some more spasms, pain, and my symptoms just not improving and experiencing more food sensitivities and intolerances. I went to the ER because my pain was getting worse and I couldn't take it, ultrasound was done there only for the sludge to have completely vanished even though i still had pain, got sent home because why would they do anything extra even though my pain was almost 24/7, but you know, no fever = oh you're fine lol. The ER doctor did recommend additional scans though, so I went back to my gastro, who ordered a HIDA scan.
HIDA scan gave me the proof I needed; my gallbladder had an EF of 19%, and she recommended a surgeon to me, had my appointment with him, gave him all of my medical results, told him my symptoms, and he immediately explained to me how laparoscopic surgery would work and boom, surgery ended up getting scheduled for the next week, and I was his first one of the day. Got that done yesterday, and while the anesthesia had me super down and out for the count and peeing afterwards sucks and is very very slow and irritating, it still doesn't compare to the gallbladder pain; I had to stop eating dinner and was living off of cream of wheat and baby snacks up until the surgery, and even water triggered pain. Didn't have any gallstones, but it turns out my gallbladder was "partly intrahepatic" and inflamed and I had a short cystic duct, so it was probably a matter of time before it started fucking up, but COVID might have accelerated it since I never had issues prior to getting it the second time, and i see other people in the sub have had similar (the first time I got COVID, it just attacked my lungs mostly, also messed with my motor skills and I had a lot of fatigue and heat intolerance).
That's my story, and I'm sharing because maybe it'll help someone else who was just as lost as I am. It's absolutely shitty, and the US healthcare system is a nightmare especially when you're a femme person of color, and I will say I got very lucky with my gastro. Just gotta keep trucking along and keep fighting to see the light at the end of the tunnel, rooting for yall!
EDIT: oh forgot to mention that my period started the literal day of surgery, but it didn't seem to affect much and the nurses were very kind enough to offer me two pads and surgical underwear!
2024.05.17 10:53 Rotmgmoddy Tower Defense Mission requires more polishing; Buggy and not worthwhile
Hi all, slapping a TL;DR here in case my essay below is too long: Chance of mission to fail due to gamebreaking glitch, coupled with issues of unfairness and reward vs time, make tower defense missions a chore to play through
To start off, I don't hate the concept of a tower defense mission. When a mission is running smoothly without glitches on a bug planet, that's where this mission shines in terms of fun and engagement...the most, at least. Unfortunately in several other cases, this is far from reality and the mission has several glaring problems that make this a frustrating experience.
1) Inconsistency/Complete halting of rocket launches [Glitch] The mission features 8 rockets that launch over time that serve as a progress indicator to how far into the defense mission you are in. You would think that the rocket launches are tied to the mission timer or an internal clock, but it is widely inconsistent for some odd reason. I've had missions that have ended with 12 minutes on the clock, and missions that have ended with 3 minutes left.
If the inconsistencies weren't bad enough, there's a glitch that tends to happen when someone leaves midway that causes the rockets to stop launching, causing essentially an inevitable mission fail. The problem is, you would have no idea if this was actually happening, because I've had times where the mission eventually resumed after 3 minutes of silence, and times where it never resumes at all. This glitch is really what kills the experience for me
2) Gates are one-shotted by chargers and tanks [Gameplay] It just seems a bit weird that gates are a core mechanic in this mission, and yet as soon as even a single charger or tank executes an attack on the gate, it falls apart in one-shot. Meanwhile gates can hold off for a relatively long time against anything weaker than these 2, so why is there such a massive sharp dip in durability past the chargers and hulks? I understand a bile titan or factory strider accomplishing this, but these are the only 2 exceptions because they are large units. You might as well remove gates altogether if they are instantly going to be destroyed by the first charger or tank to touch them.
3) Severe lackluster of rewards vs time [Gameplay] I get it, we play to have fun, but I think a good majority of us also play to get some form of reward for our hard work too, and frankly speaking, defense missions don't accomplish that at all. Their XP payout is simply the worst in the game, and there is nothing to collect; Samples, Super Credits, etc.. You reach the result screen and it just feels so...anticlimatic after you've busted out all your guns for 10 - 20 minutes just to see less than 500xp earned on your screen.
4) Clear Unfairness against Bots [Gameplay] As mentioned in my intro statement, this mission shines the most on a bug planet because it feels like it was made for it. Unfortunately, similar to the evacuation mission, it just feels like the mission was copy-pasted into the bot planets with no consideration to the very much different threats and circumstances to play against. You've probably heard of sufficient horror stories in regards to this; Bots dropping on the landing zone which is right next to the generators, factory striders sniping the generators from across the map, the skillset specification of stealth for bots not being considered and being expected to fight them head on just like bugs...just to name a few.
Anyways these are probably the 4 main issues I have with this mission type, so much so that I genuinely despise this mission and hate to see it on my campaign because it's just not fun to deal with a buggy mission that seems so....primitive oddly enough. Definitely needs more work done on it, I wouldn't mind if it disappeared for a few months just to polish it further, because it feels like a beta-test mission.
submitted by Rotmgmoddy to Helldivers [link] [comments]
To start off, I don't hate the concept of a tower defense mission. When a mission is running smoothly without glitches on a bug planet, that's where this mission shines in terms of fun and engagement...the most, at least. Unfortunately in several other cases, this is far from reality and the mission has several glaring problems that make this a frustrating experience.
1) Inconsistency/Complete halting of rocket launches [Glitch] The mission features 8 rockets that launch over time that serve as a progress indicator to how far into the defense mission you are in. You would think that the rocket launches are tied to the mission timer or an internal clock, but it is widely inconsistent for some odd reason. I've had missions that have ended with 12 minutes on the clock, and missions that have ended with 3 minutes left.
If the inconsistencies weren't bad enough, there's a glitch that tends to happen when someone leaves midway that causes the rockets to stop launching, causing essentially an inevitable mission fail. The problem is, you would have no idea if this was actually happening, because I've had times where the mission eventually resumed after 3 minutes of silence, and times where it never resumes at all. This glitch is really what kills the experience for me
2) Gates are one-shotted by chargers and tanks [Gameplay] It just seems a bit weird that gates are a core mechanic in this mission, and yet as soon as even a single charger or tank executes an attack on the gate, it falls apart in one-shot. Meanwhile gates can hold off for a relatively long time against anything weaker than these 2, so why is there such a massive sharp dip in durability past the chargers and hulks? I understand a bile titan or factory strider accomplishing this, but these are the only 2 exceptions because they are large units. You might as well remove gates altogether if they are instantly going to be destroyed by the first charger or tank to touch them.
3) Severe lackluster of rewards vs time [Gameplay] I get it, we play to have fun, but I think a good majority of us also play to get some form of reward for our hard work too, and frankly speaking, defense missions don't accomplish that at all. Their XP payout is simply the worst in the game, and there is nothing to collect; Samples, Super Credits, etc.. You reach the result screen and it just feels so...anticlimatic after you've busted out all your guns for 10 - 20 minutes just to see less than 500xp earned on your screen.
4) Clear Unfairness against Bots [Gameplay] As mentioned in my intro statement, this mission shines the most on a bug planet because it feels like it was made for it. Unfortunately, similar to the evacuation mission, it just feels like the mission was copy-pasted into the bot planets with no consideration to the very much different threats and circumstances to play against. You've probably heard of sufficient horror stories in regards to this; Bots dropping on the landing zone which is right next to the generators, factory striders sniping the generators from across the map, the skillset specification of stealth for bots not being considered and being expected to fight them head on just like bugs...just to name a few.
Anyways these are probably the 4 main issues I have with this mission type, so much so that I genuinely despise this mission and hate to see it on my campaign because it's just not fun to deal with a buggy mission that seems so....primitive oddly enough. Definitely needs more work done on it, I wouldn't mind if it disappeared for a few months just to polish it further, because it feels like a beta-test mission.
2024.05.17 10:04 Ekocare On the Origin of the Buddhist Arthakathás (R. C. Childers, L. C. Vijasinha)
On the Origin of the Buddhist Arthakathás Cambridge University Press (1871)
It must be admitted that the point raised by Mr. Childers is one of grave importance as affecting the credibility of Buddhaghosa and the authenticity of all the commentaries on the Tipitaka. From a missionary point of view, the astounding statement that a commentary on Buddha's discourses existed during his lifetime, and was rehearsed along with those discourses at the First Great Council, appears so improbable and unnatural as at once to justify one in discrediting the testimony; and I doubt not that missionary orientalists will hail the discovery as a valuable addition to their stock of arguments against the genuineness and authenticity of the Buddhist Scriptures.
Indeed I found it difficult at first to obtain the opinions of some of my learned friends of the Buddhist priesthood on this point, as they seemed to regard it as another thunderbolt intended to be levelled against their religion by some enthusiastic missionary ; and it was only after explaining to them the object of the inquiry, and the literary character of the gentleman who started the apparent difficulty, that I could induce them to look the question fairly in the face.
I am glad to say that most of my clerical Buddhist friends with whom I have consulted on this subject agree with me on the necessity of giving a wider and more extended signification than is generally allowed to the word Atthakathá as applied by Buddhaghosa in the passage cited. The word, as is well known, is compounded of two terms, attha, " meaning, " and katha , " a statement, explanation, or narrative," the dental t being changed to the cerebral by a latitude in the rules of permutation.1 The literal meaning of the compound term would thus amount to simply " an ex- planation of meaning. " Taking this wider sense of the word as a basis for the solution of the problem, I think the statement of Buddhaghosa in his preface to the commentary on the Dígha Nikáya is not so hopelessly irreconcilable with probable and presumable facts as would at first sight appear.
On a careful perusal of the two accounts given by Buddhaghosa of the proceedings of the three famous Councils in the Sumańgala Vilásiní and the Samanta Pásádiká, this view will, I think, be found to be very reasonable. It must be admitted that no actual commentary, in the sense that the westerns attach to that term, and like that which has been handed down to us by Buddhaghosa, existed either in the lifetime of Buddha or immediately after his death. The reasons adduced by Mr. Childers, apart from others that can easily be added, against such a supposition, are overwhelmingly convincing. But if we suppose that by the word Atthakathá in his preface Buddhaghosa only meant to convey the idea that at the various Councils held for the purpose of collocating the discourses and sayings of Buddha, the meanings to be attached to different terms were discussed and properly defined, then the difficulty of conceiving the contemporaneous existence pf the commentaries and the Pitakas would be entirely removed.
This view of the subject will appear still further borne out if we briefly glance over the history of the First Convocation, as narrated by Buddhaghosa himself. The first proposal to hold an assembly of priests for the purpose of collocating Buddha's discourses was made by Mahá Kassapa, the chief of the seven hundred thousand priests who assembled at Kusinára to celebrate the obsequies of the departed saint. Seven days had hardly elapsed after that mournful occurrence, when signs of discontent at monastic restraint manifested themselves, and a disaffected disciple of Buddha named Subhadda openly proclaimed that now their master was no more the ties of discipline should be relaxed, if not broken. The words of consolation offered by this old monk to his brethren in distress are certainly remarkable, as it would be difficult to say whether they betoken more the callousness of his feelings or the depravity of his heart: " Brethren, enough of this sorrow, weep not, lament not. We are well rid of that Arch-priest, having been in constant dread of his declarations, This befits you, this befits you not. Now, there- fore, what we desire we shall do; what we do not desire that shall we not do." To a sagacious mind like that of Mahá Kassapa it was not difficult to perceive what language like this foreshadowed, and he instantly formed the resolve to congregate the priesthood, and to collect and arrange the laws and doctrines proclaimed by his Master. Hardly two months had elapsed before this active mind brought about what it had contemplated, and the result was the Council of the Five Hundred, convoked at Kájagaha, under the auspices of King Ajátasattu, for the purpose of collecting and arrang- ing the doctrines and discourses of Buddha.
The proceedings of this Council appear to have been con- ducted in a very orderly and systematic manner, which is the more surprising when we consider that monastic autocracy was about to give place to a form of church government prescribed by the great Founder himself, but which was now to be established and tested for the first time. Mahá Kassapa, whom Buddha indirectly indicated as his equal in point of superhuman mental acquirements, assumed the office of Moderator, and by the unanimous consent of the synod Upáli was elected as the best qualified of their order to repeat the Yinaya, and Ānanda the Dhamma ; the Council having previously decided that the Yinaya was the most material for the permanence of Buddhism.
Now it is important to observe that the catechetical form was used in the collocation of both the Laws and Doctrines. "Afterwards Mahá Kassapa, having seated himself in the presidential chair, questioned the venerable Upáli respecting the Yinaya in this wise. Brother Upáli, where was the first Párájika promulgated? My lord, at Vesáli. On whose account? On account of Sudinna, the son of Kalanda. With regard to what offence? To fornication. Then did the venerable Mahá Kassapa question the venerable Upáli on the offence, the cause, the offender, the primary law, the secondary law, the transgression and the non-transgression, relating to the first law enacted against mortal sin. And the venerable Upáli explained as he was questioned." Such was also the method employed in the synod in the collocation of the Dhamma : - " Brother Ananda, where was the Brahmajála delivered ? My lord, between Rájagaha and Nálanda," and so on. Though it is subsequently added that " at the conclusion of the questions and answers the five hundred Arhats repeated the texts together in the order in which they had been collocated,"- it is difficult to believe that all' the five hundred rehearsed the long narratives prefixed to some of Buddha's discourses in the same words and style that they are now clothed in. Buddhaghosa's account of the synod is gathered from tradition, which was very probably embodied in the Simhalese atthakathás, and there can be little doubt that the main facts are correct ; but that he drew largely from tradition, written and oral, and possibly in some instances from imagination, will I think appear clear to any careful reader of the commentaries. Witness for instance his relation of Ananda's mysterious entrance into the assembly : pathaviyam nimujjitvá ottano árnne y em attánam dassesi , ákásena gantvá nisïdîti pi eke , " He plunged into the earth and showed himself in his seat, and also some say he went through the air and sat down." He does not say which version is correct, but is quite satisfied with both accounts, and is evidently quite willing to let his readers choose whichever they like.
Buddhaghosa throughout all his writings appears to have set one great object prominently in view, namely to inspire reverence for what he considered as supreme authority. When he came to Ceylon for the purpose of translating the Simhalese commentaries, he found a great many extant at that time, and out of these commentaries, embracing no doubt various shades of opinion, and representing different schools of thought, he had to expunge, abridge, enlarge, and make a new commentary. Now how could he do all this, and at the same time preserve undiminished among future generations the same reverence and authority in which the older commentaries were held by the Buddhists of that age? The thought struck him, as no doubt it would strike any careful reader of the Buddhist Scriptures, that a large portion of the writings contained in that canon appear to be explanations and definitions of terms used by Buddha, and also that a great many discourses said to have been delivered by Buddha to certain individuals have not been recorded.
Now what more easy to conceive, or what more probable, than that they formed the nucleus of matter for the formation of a commentary, and that at the First General Council, which lasted seven months, the elders, who had all seen and heard Buddha, should have dis- cussed them, and decided on the method of interpreting and teaching the more recondite portions of Buddhist philosophy ? and what therefore if he should say in somewhat exaggerated language, " the commentary on the Digha Nikáya was at the beginning discussed (or composed, or merged into the body of the Scriptures) by five hundred holy elders" ? - for the original words may admit of such a construction. If or will this opinion appear merely hypothetical if we carefully peruse the account given by Buddhaghosa of the commentaries in his Samanta Pásádiká. In his metrical introduction to that work, after the usual doxology, he explains the necessity of having a proper Pali Commentary on the Vinaya, and then proceeds to set forth what he is about to do : -
"In commencing this commentary, I shall, having embodied therein the Mahá Atthakathá, without excluding any proper meaning from the decisions contained in the Mahá Paccarí, as also in the famous Kurundi and other com- mentaries, and including the opinions of the Elders, - perform my task well. Let the young, the middle-aged, and the elderly priests, who entertain a proper regard for the doctrines of the Tathágata, the luminary of truth, listen to my words with pleasure. The Dhamma, as well as the Yinaya, was declared by Buddha, his (sacerdotal) sons understood it in the same sense as it was delivered ; and inasmuch as in former times they (the Simhalese commentators) composed the com- mentaries without disregarding their (the sacerdotal sons') opinions, therefore, barring any erro* of transcription, every- thing contained therein is an authority to the learned in this priesthood who respect ecclesiastical discipline. From these (Simhalese) commentaries, after casting off the language, condensing detailed accounts, including authoritative deci- sions, and without overstepping any Pàli idiom (I shall pro- ceed to compose). And as this commentary will moreover be explanatory of the meaning of words belonging. to the Suttas in conformity with the sense attached to them therein, therefore ought it the more diligently to be studied."
....continued...
On the Origin of the Buddhist Arthakathás Cambridge University Press (1871)
submitted by Ekocare to TheravadaBuddhism [link] [comments]
"—the commentary, I say, upon this Scripture wasL. Comrilla Vijasinha, Government Interpreter to the Ratnapura Court Ceylon:
at the first Council rehearsed by five hundred holy elders
and in later times rehearsed again and yet again."
It must be admitted that the point raised by Mr. Childers is one of grave importance as affecting the credibility of Buddhaghosa and the authenticity of all the commentaries on the Tipitaka. From a missionary point of view, the astounding statement that a commentary on Buddha's discourses existed during his lifetime, and was rehearsed along with those discourses at the First Great Council, appears so improbable and unnatural as at once to justify one in discrediting the testimony; and I doubt not that missionary orientalists will hail the discovery as a valuable addition to their stock of arguments against the genuineness and authenticity of the Buddhist Scriptures.
Indeed I found it difficult at first to obtain the opinions of some of my learned friends of the Buddhist priesthood on this point, as they seemed to regard it as another thunderbolt intended to be levelled against their religion by some enthusiastic missionary ; and it was only after explaining to them the object of the inquiry, and the literary character of the gentleman who started the apparent difficulty, that I could induce them to look the question fairly in the face.
I am glad to say that most of my clerical Buddhist friends with whom I have consulted on this subject agree with me on the necessity of giving a wider and more extended signification than is generally allowed to the word Atthakathá as applied by Buddhaghosa in the passage cited. The word, as is well known, is compounded of two terms, attha, " meaning, " and katha , " a statement, explanation, or narrative," the dental t being changed to the cerebral by a latitude in the rules of permutation.1 The literal meaning of the compound term would thus amount to simply " an ex- planation of meaning. " Taking this wider sense of the word as a basis for the solution of the problem, I think the statement of Buddhaghosa in his preface to the commentary on the Dígha Nikáya is not so hopelessly irreconcilable with probable and presumable facts as would at first sight appear.
On a careful perusal of the two accounts given by Buddhaghosa of the proceedings of the three famous Councils in the Sumańgala Vilásiní and the Samanta Pásádiká, this view will, I think, be found to be very reasonable. It must be admitted that no actual commentary, in the sense that the westerns attach to that term, and like that which has been handed down to us by Buddhaghosa, existed either in the lifetime of Buddha or immediately after his death. The reasons adduced by Mr. Childers, apart from others that can easily be added, against such a supposition, are overwhelmingly convincing. But if we suppose that by the word Atthakathá in his preface Buddhaghosa only meant to convey the idea that at the various Councils held for the purpose of collocating the discourses and sayings of Buddha, the meanings to be attached to different terms were discussed and properly defined, then the difficulty of conceiving the contemporaneous existence pf the commentaries and the Pitakas would be entirely removed.
This view of the subject will appear still further borne out if we briefly glance over the history of the First Convocation, as narrated by Buddhaghosa himself. The first proposal to hold an assembly of priests for the purpose of collocating Buddha's discourses was made by Mahá Kassapa, the chief of the seven hundred thousand priests who assembled at Kusinára to celebrate the obsequies of the departed saint. Seven days had hardly elapsed after that mournful occurrence, when signs of discontent at monastic restraint manifested themselves, and a disaffected disciple of Buddha named Subhadda openly proclaimed that now their master was no more the ties of discipline should be relaxed, if not broken. The words of consolation offered by this old monk to his brethren in distress are certainly remarkable, as it would be difficult to say whether they betoken more the callousness of his feelings or the depravity of his heart: " Brethren, enough of this sorrow, weep not, lament not. We are well rid of that Arch-priest, having been in constant dread of his declarations, This befits you, this befits you not. Now, there- fore, what we desire we shall do; what we do not desire that shall we not do." To a sagacious mind like that of Mahá Kassapa it was not difficult to perceive what language like this foreshadowed, and he instantly formed the resolve to congregate the priesthood, and to collect and arrange the laws and doctrines proclaimed by his Master. Hardly two months had elapsed before this active mind brought about what it had contemplated, and the result was the Council of the Five Hundred, convoked at Kájagaha, under the auspices of King Ajátasattu, for the purpose of collecting and arrang- ing the doctrines and discourses of Buddha.
The proceedings of this Council appear to have been con- ducted in a very orderly and systematic manner, which is the more surprising when we consider that monastic autocracy was about to give place to a form of church government prescribed by the great Founder himself, but which was now to be established and tested for the first time. Mahá Kassapa, whom Buddha indirectly indicated as his equal in point of superhuman mental acquirements, assumed the office of Moderator, and by the unanimous consent of the synod Upáli was elected as the best qualified of their order to repeat the Yinaya, and Ānanda the Dhamma ; the Council having previously decided that the Yinaya was the most material for the permanence of Buddhism.
Now it is important to observe that the catechetical form was used in the collocation of both the Laws and Doctrines. "Afterwards Mahá Kassapa, having seated himself in the presidential chair, questioned the venerable Upáli respecting the Yinaya in this wise. Brother Upáli, where was the first Párájika promulgated? My lord, at Vesáli. On whose account? On account of Sudinna, the son of Kalanda. With regard to what offence? To fornication. Then did the venerable Mahá Kassapa question the venerable Upáli on the offence, the cause, the offender, the primary law, the secondary law, the transgression and the non-transgression, relating to the first law enacted against mortal sin. And the venerable Upáli explained as he was questioned." Such was also the method employed in the synod in the collocation of the Dhamma : - " Brother Ananda, where was the Brahmajála delivered ? My lord, between Rájagaha and Nálanda," and so on. Though it is subsequently added that " at the conclusion of the questions and answers the five hundred Arhats repeated the texts together in the order in which they had been collocated,"- it is difficult to believe that all' the five hundred rehearsed the long narratives prefixed to some of Buddha's discourses in the same words and style that they are now clothed in. Buddhaghosa's account of the synod is gathered from tradition, which was very probably embodied in the Simhalese atthakathás, and there can be little doubt that the main facts are correct ; but that he drew largely from tradition, written and oral, and possibly in some instances from imagination, will I think appear clear to any careful reader of the commentaries. Witness for instance his relation of Ananda's mysterious entrance into the assembly : pathaviyam nimujjitvá ottano árnne y em attánam dassesi , ákásena gantvá nisïdîti pi eke , " He plunged into the earth and showed himself in his seat, and also some say he went through the air and sat down." He does not say which version is correct, but is quite satisfied with both accounts, and is evidently quite willing to let his readers choose whichever they like.
Buddhaghosa throughout all his writings appears to have set one great object prominently in view, namely to inspire reverence for what he considered as supreme authority. When he came to Ceylon for the purpose of translating the Simhalese commentaries, he found a great many extant at that time, and out of these commentaries, embracing no doubt various shades of opinion, and representing different schools of thought, he had to expunge, abridge, enlarge, and make a new commentary. Now how could he do all this, and at the same time preserve undiminished among future generations the same reverence and authority in which the older commentaries were held by the Buddhists of that age? The thought struck him, as no doubt it would strike any careful reader of the Buddhist Scriptures, that a large portion of the writings contained in that canon appear to be explanations and definitions of terms used by Buddha, and also that a great many discourses said to have been delivered by Buddha to certain individuals have not been recorded.
Now what more easy to conceive, or what more probable, than that they formed the nucleus of matter for the formation of a commentary, and that at the First General Council, which lasted seven months, the elders, who had all seen and heard Buddha, should have dis- cussed them, and decided on the method of interpreting and teaching the more recondite portions of Buddhist philosophy ? and what therefore if he should say in somewhat exaggerated language, " the commentary on the Digha Nikáya was at the beginning discussed (or composed, or merged into the body of the Scriptures) by five hundred holy elders" ? - for the original words may admit of such a construction. If or will this opinion appear merely hypothetical if we carefully peruse the account given by Buddhaghosa of the commentaries in his Samanta Pásádiká. In his metrical introduction to that work, after the usual doxology, he explains the necessity of having a proper Pali Commentary on the Vinaya, and then proceeds to set forth what he is about to do : -
"In commencing this commentary, I shall, having embodied therein the Mahá Atthakathá, without excluding any proper meaning from the decisions contained in the Mahá Paccarí, as also in the famous Kurundi and other com- mentaries, and including the opinions of the Elders, - perform my task well. Let the young, the middle-aged, and the elderly priests, who entertain a proper regard for the doctrines of the Tathágata, the luminary of truth, listen to my words with pleasure. The Dhamma, as well as the Yinaya, was declared by Buddha, his (sacerdotal) sons understood it in the same sense as it was delivered ; and inasmuch as in former times they (the Simhalese commentators) composed the com- mentaries without disregarding their (the sacerdotal sons') opinions, therefore, barring any erro* of transcription, every- thing contained therein is an authority to the learned in this priesthood who respect ecclesiastical discipline. From these (Simhalese) commentaries, after casting off the language, condensing detailed accounts, including authoritative deci- sions, and without overstepping any Pàli idiom (I shall pro- ceed to compose). And as this commentary will moreover be explanatory of the meaning of words belonging. to the Suttas in conformity with the sense attached to them therein, therefore ought it the more diligently to be studied."
....continued...
On the Origin of the Buddhist Arthakathás Cambridge University Press (1871)
2024.05.17 04:51 Chippy569 TSB Thursday: A/C Compressor Boogaloo!
Welcome to another TSB Thursday, where I dive deeper in to TSBs I'm running into regularly. As always, I write this from my own perspective as a Subaru technician in the US; other regions/zones may work differently. Refer to the "How To Read a TSB" post for more information on formatting and general information about TSBs. In celebration of warm weather finally coming to my area, I'm continuing some A/C system bulletins. Last post was all about Condensers. Today's post is all about A/C compressors, and there is a lot to talk about, so let's dive in.
Ok so what do all of these bulletins mean? They're all different part updates for the compressor part of the A/C system. In all of the above cases, if your car is in need of service to the A/C system, there is a good chance the compressor will also need to be replaced with an updated unit. You may notice that 15-209-17 and 10-84-16R overlap; this is an instance of an update on an update.
This is a video (at 4:46) with an example of a buzzing sound that can indicate a failed A/C compressor in a number of these TSBs, including 10-98-20R, 15-209-17, and 10-84-16R. It can also indicate a very low state of refrigerant charge; hearing this buzz does not automatically mean you need a new compressor, but the likelihood is high.
I also want to touch quickly here on the difference between fixed displacement and variable displacement compressors. With a fixed compressor, the A/C system can only ever be "ON" or "OFF." This is done with an electromagnetic clutch assembly on the front of the compressor, inside of the pulley that the serpentine belt rides around. When the ECM or HVAC CM commands the clutch to the ON position, the serpentine belt pulley and the clutch lock together, and now the engine RPM will match the compressor internal RPM. Inside the compressor are a series of small pistons, which will now move up and down, creating suction on an intake stroke and compression on its output stroke. The advantage here is that it's cheap. But there are a number of disadvantages; the first being the flow of refrigerant is now tied to your engine RPM, the second that the the A/C can only ever be off or full force. This is where the variable compressor comes in; Subaru's variable compressors do not use a clutch at all, but rather uses a solenoid connected to a swash plate inside of the compressor, which changes the stroke length of the internal pistons. This way, the control module can pick a percentage of refrigerant flow on the fly; it can go as low as 0% (or no piston travel) when in the OFF position, or smoothly slide all the way up to 100% where the pistons move as far as possible. The advantages here are numerous; the compressor can maintain even refrigerant flow independent of engine RPM, there is no sharp engagement sensation that a clutch would have when kicking on, and when at cruise the compressor can run at a lower ratio to improve fuel efficiency. This video (at 0:51 through 3:42) has the best animation I could find of what's happening inside a variable displacement compressor.
Happy summer and thanks for reading!
submitted by Chippy569 to subaru [link] [comments]
TSB Thursday #13:
- 10-100-21R - "A/C Compressor- Manufacturing Procedure Change"
- 2019-2021 Forester
- 10-98-20R - "New Air Conditioning (A/C) Compressor Availability"
- 2018 Forester
- 2018-19 WRX
- 15-237-19R - "Chattering Sound from A/C Compressor"
- 2017-18 Forester
- 15-244-19 - "A/C Compressor Clutch- Service Parts Availability"
- 2013-19 BRZ
- 15-210-17 - "Cruise Control Light Flashing, Possible Cancel Code 61"
- 2017 Impreza Models with Manual A/C ONLY
- 15-209-17 - "Abnormal Sound from Air Conditioning (A/C) Compressor"
- 2015-16 WRX and WRX STI
- 2014-16 Forester
- 2012-16 Impreza
- 2013-16 Crosstrek
- 10-84-16R - "New A/C Compressor / Clutch Assembly"
- 2015-16 WRX and STI
- 2014-16 Forester
- 2014-16 Impreza and XV Crosstrek
What's the failure?
Your A/C system (as well as any refrigeration system, just like the fridge in your kitchen) is comprised of 4 main components, along with hoses or pipes that connect them. The heart of the system is the Compressor. It works by squeezing the refrigerant really hard, such that the refrigerant gets pressurized and very hot. The refrigerant then moves to the Condenser, which looks a lot like a radiator. Air passes through the fins of the Condenser, where that heat and energy can dissipate into the surrounding air. Refrigerant will then flow to an Expansion Valve (or in some cases an "orifice tube"), which is just a component with a very small hole for refrigerant to flow through. This is both what provides the resistance so the Compressor can, well, compress, but also creates a low pressure zone after the refrigerant has passed through it. When this happens, the refrigerant will next flow into the Evaporator Core, which in the case of a car is inside the ducting behind/under the dashboard. The low pressure refrigerant is now free to "pull" heat and energy out of the air flowing through the ducts, and thus both removes humidity and also cools the air flowing past it. The refrigerant then returns back to the Compressor to start the cycle all over again. In essence, the whole of the system works by pumping energy out of the interior HVAC ducting and pushing it to the ambient air in the engine bay. Naturally, there are a few other important bits that the car needs to know about to use this system effectively. One key component is a pressure sensor, so that whichever module is controlling the compressor makes sure it's operating in a safe range. Another is a filtration element, sometimes called a ReceiveDrier. Lastly, within the Evaporator Core will be a temperature probe, so that if the core starts getting so cold that ice forms, the system can turn off.Ok so what do all of these bulletins mean? They're all different part updates for the compressor part of the A/C system. In all of the above cases, if your car is in need of service to the A/C system, there is a good chance the compressor will also need to be replaced with an updated unit. You may notice that 15-209-17 and 10-84-16R overlap; this is an instance of an update on an update.
This is a video (at 4:46) with an example of a buzzing sound that can indicate a failed A/C compressor in a number of these TSBs, including 10-98-20R, 15-209-17, and 10-84-16R. It can also indicate a very low state of refrigerant charge; hearing this buzz does not automatically mean you need a new compressor, but the likelihood is high.
I also want to touch quickly here on the difference between fixed displacement and variable displacement compressors. With a fixed compressor, the A/C system can only ever be "ON" or "OFF." This is done with an electromagnetic clutch assembly on the front of the compressor, inside of the pulley that the serpentine belt rides around. When the ECM or HVAC CM commands the clutch to the ON position, the serpentine belt pulley and the clutch lock together, and now the engine RPM will match the compressor internal RPM. Inside the compressor are a series of small pistons, which will now move up and down, creating suction on an intake stroke and compression on its output stroke. The advantage here is that it's cheap. But there are a number of disadvantages; the first being the flow of refrigerant is now tied to your engine RPM, the second that the the A/C can only ever be off or full force. This is where the variable compressor comes in; Subaru's variable compressors do not use a clutch at all, but rather uses a solenoid connected to a swash plate inside of the compressor, which changes the stroke length of the internal pistons. This way, the control module can pick a percentage of refrigerant flow on the fly; it can go as low as 0% (or no piston travel) when in the OFF position, or smoothly slide all the way up to 100% where the pistons move as far as possible. The advantages here are numerous; the compressor can maintain even refrigerant flow independent of engine RPM, there is no sharp engagement sensation that a clutch would have when kicking on, and when at cruise the compressor can run at a lower ratio to improve fuel efficiency. This video (at 0:51 through 3:42) has the best animation I could find of what's happening inside a variable displacement compressor.
15-210-17:
This is actually one of the more interesting TSBs out there, because it's super bizarre. Essentially, the clutch on the front of the compressor will back-feed voltage, which finds its way into the brake light switch's secondary circuit, which is used as the signal to turn off cruise control. For reference, only Imprezas with Manual climate control use this clutched compressor; any other trim (ie if you have an "AUTO" button on your HVAC panel) will use a variable-displacement compressor.15-244-19:
A unique instance where Subaru has made the previously-not-sold-separately compressor clutch assembly now for sale for BRZ owners.How do we fix it?
Generally speaking, compressor replacement on Subarus is very straightforward; evacuate the A/C system of its refrigerant, remove the serpentine belt, and then the compressor can be unbolted from the top of the block. (Depending on engine, a few other components may also need to be removed for access.) Swap out the part, reinstall the belt, and then vacuum and recharge the refrigerant. After, verify everything's working.Coverage?
As a general rule, compressors are covered only by Basic warranty (3 y36k miles) or with an active Subaru Added Security warranty unless specifically extended in an applicable bulletin.Happy summer and thanks for reading!
2024.05.17 04:28 meme-lord-Mrperfect Fulgrim and the Muse: Prologue
VIEWER DISCRETION ADVISED. There is some gore, nothing to descriptive, but if you have a weak stomach maybe pass on this one.
THE FINAL DRAF IS NOW AVAILABLE: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1m7gCg5XEeo5qTYelH2mrLN86QFCQCazjXx45bUewfEM/edit?usp=sharing
ALSO: This is a first draft, will post the revised one later.
Adonis came from a backwater mining world that had maintained much of its mining equipment and a base level of industry during the age of strife. Adonis lived a relatively uneventful life on this planet, being the only child to two parents who had gone missing when he was twelve, he would enter the mines earlier than most, but only slightly as although technically mining jobs could only be conducted by those older than eighteen, however through necessity children as young as thirteen would entire the mines to help sustain their families. These younger workers would be given relatively safer jobs compared to the older workers, monitoring equipment and other surface operations as examples. Even still this labor was backbreaking, and would more often than not result in the early demise of many inhabitants of this planet.
On his first day in the mines, Adonis would be paired with a girl who was fifteen years old, slightly taller than him, who stood at 4’11” at the time. She had short, light brown hair, and a thin but muscular build. They were trained on how to monitor the Auto-miner machine, and who to contact if anything went wrong. They were then given some time to get acquainted with one another before beginning their work. The girl introduced herself first.
“Hello, my name is Roleru, I look forward to working with you”, she responded with more enthusiasm than a young teen forced into the mines should.
“Adonis, and likewise”, He responded a bit hesitant. He was not looking to make friends. He barely wanted to be working, let alone in a mine, he would work there no longer than he had to, then he would find better work elsewhere. Adonis was still confused about where his parents had gone, and why they had left him behind
After this they were led down into the mines, making small talk on the rusty service elevator, and it turns out she was an only child as well. They shared a lot in common, her father had died in a mining accident, and her mother was unable to work due to worsening illness. She was working to support both her mother and herself, She seemed relatively upbeat despite a life of tragedy. Maybe he could learn from her, and piece back together his recently shattered life. In this rusted mine elevator a friendship was born, and many days they would start their days talking to each other on this elevator. Their main job was to monitor a large mining machine, and if anything goes wrong to immediately hit the emergency shutdown. This machine was larger than any Adonis had seen, towering over him and with many large grinding wheels to slowly break down rocks into progressively smaller chunks, until they are eventually spit out onto a long conveyor belt. An observation catwalk overlooked this series of crushers, with simple metal railings, and a solid metal floor to prevent any dropped materials from potentially damaging the equipment. They were shown to the cabin, where a vast array of displays and buttons could be found, and one large red button in a plastic case with the panel behind it painted a surprisingly vibrant yellow considering the dirty state of everything, and above it set on a background of hazard stripes the word “Emergency Shut-Down” could be seen in distinct red lettering. The operator that led them here initiated the machine to start up, and their work began in this cramped cabin where Roleru and Adonis would become practically siblings, with Roleru practically becoming Adonis’ older sister.
About 3 years of this work would go by in the blink of an eye, Adonis now fifteen is the same age as Roleru was when she started working in the mines. Now that Roleru could officially work in the mines, she would be given more training on how to actually operate the machine she had monitored for so long. Adonis was so proud of his big sister they celebrated that night, getting some slightly higher quality rations to have a feast that night. Any decent quality food was a real commodity on (insert planet name here).
However, the happy times wouldn’t last, as a couple of months later Roleru’s mother would die due to her illness. Although she would return to a happier mood after properly grieving, she never seemed quite the same to Adonis. They would continue to work in the mines together as they always had, now with no technician to accompany them to start the equipment. Together they would continue to grow closer, practically inseparable at this point, Roleru found a lot of comfort in Adonis’ presence which was sorely needed when she was grieving.
During this entire time Adonis would look for his parents in his free time, following any leads he could find. He would discover at the same time of Roleru’s mother’s passing that his parents had also passed in a mining accident, operating the same machine he and Roleru were working with. This fact would linger in the back of his mind at work from then on, disturbed by the potential lethality of the machine he interacted with daily.
Another 3 years would pass, Adonis and Roleru would continue to grow together. Moving in together, as any family should, and for financial reasons. Adonis, now 18, had recently finished his training on mining machine operation and maintenance. Roleru, now 21, had prepared the same high quality rations they had when she was promoted for that night's dinner. However, tragedy would strike during the workday, as Roleru would slip on the catwalk of the machine while it was in operation, and fall into the crushing gears. Adonis would immediately hit the emergency stop. As the loud machine whirred down, there was still energy in the gears, they would slow to a stop in the silence, but in the silence there was a sickening wet ripping sound, followed by a desperate pained scream. Adonis would quickly call for help before going down to help Roleru, however the sight he saw in the maw of this great devourer was horrifying. The entrails of his sister decorated the grinding gears like some sick and twisted form of party streamers, and the blood oh god the blood. Adonis could hear pained groans and he quickly scrambled to find the rest of Roleru. He would find her shortly after he began searching.
“No. no no no no. Stay with me! Help is on the way, you’ll be okay”, Adonis pleaded with Roleru.
“Sorry cough cough I guess I was too careless” Roleru responded, blood rolling out of her mouth. Internal bleeding, or is it external in this case? Ah semantics don’t matter, thought Adonis. The light was already fading from her eyes, unsurprising for the amount of blood loss, and the gore.
“NO! Don’t leave me, don’t leave like they did.” Adonis pleaded with a raspy voice through choked sobs, unsure of when he started crying. “Please stay with me, you promised you would.” He held her close, trying to comfort her in any way he could while desperately trying to stop the bleeding before the medical team arrived.
“I’m so sorry, I wish I could stay with you longer.”, Roleru said calmly, though the tears rolling down her face betrayed her true emotions. “I’ll always be with you in spirit.”
With that final statement she died in his arms, he would clutch the gorey remains of his sister, screaming and crying until the medical team arrived. They had to peel him off of her remains, essentially dragging him out of the mine for the day, on his walk back to their shared home, he would see a strange looking official giving a speech he only overheard part of it and he was only vaguely paying attention.
“From this day forward you will pay a tithe to the Imperium of man”, the official stated. A new ruler? Happens all the time, nothing to worry about Thought Adonis, little did he know this announcement would soon turn his already tumultuous life upside down.
He entered the hab building, and saw the two ration packets set out on the table, along with a small rectangular box. Adonis opened it, his hands still caked in Roleru’s blood. Inside was a simple silver locket, containing a photo of the two of them 3 years ago, celebrating Roleru’s promotion. Clutching the locket Adonis would fall to his knees and cry. An hour later Adonis would fall asleep, exhausted after showering. He would wake up the next morning, finding the two ration packets still uneaten on the counter.
After eating some breakfast and heading out for work, Adonis would notice something attached to the door of their hab unit.
It reads: Draft notice, You have been drafted to serve the Emperor of mankind. Report to the imperial guard training facility in 2 hours (live updated).
It would take 30 minutes for a response, but it came nonetheless. “We read you Adonis, this is High-command vox-master Gunther. How the hell are you guys still alive, the last report we got from the forward trench was 4 days ago. Anyways, peace has been reached and will go into effect tomorrow at dawn, until then keep fighting and we’ll come get you.” The man responded in a shocked voice.
“Copy command, I had to scavenge a long-range vox from a dead squad, mine has been faulty since we landed here. Thanks for the update, I will let the rest know when I get back.” Adonis replied, relieved that he would soon get to leave this hellscape. In the meantime he slowly made his way back to his position.
After hours of slowly progressing through the byzantine trench system, and hearing the wet squelch of viscera beneath his boots more often than not he finally made it back to his position. To his surprise everyone was still alive. After explaining what he heard over the vox to Gordel, Gordel called the other 9 people in the trench.
“Our vox-master has explained to me that we need to hold out until morning. Then this compliance will be over. Do you think you pansies are up to the task?”, Gordel asked, clearly just trying to raise morale.
“YES SIR!”, the squad responded loudly. Hope was something that had been in short supply in the trenches for weeks. To hear there was finally a light at the end of the tunnel made them all ecstatic. However the next 12 hours would be hell.
The first three were spent by the 11 people discussing what they would do on leave, then as the sun set, the next three hours were spent nervously watching the enemy trench. As midnight approached, metallic skittering could be heard across no man’s land. The drones were being used to secure one last victory by some egotistical commander on the other side, to break one full trench line before peace had officially started. At first it was a few, not even making it to the trench as the Guardsmen gunned them down with ease, but as 6 a.m. crept closer, the assault intensified.
Eventually these drones were leaping into the trenches, the 11 people gunned them down, but more took their place, eventually people were being butchered right in front of Adonis, reminding him of his friend's fate. Adonis was sickened by the site of it but swallowed back the bile that had risen in his throat, Gordel was the last to die, ripped apart limb from limb right before Adonis, he gunned the three drones down but by the time he had Gordel was dead, Adonis may not have liked him, but to die like that, Gordel had his sympathies. As Adonis fought on he wondered when the sun would rise, how much longer would he have to fight these horrid engines, designed to kill in the cruelest way imaginable. Adonis did his duty and reported each casualty as they happened over long-range vox. The fighting never seemed to end, he had to pick up his comrades weapons multiple times as he kept running out of ammo.
After what seemed like an eternity the hues of violet and indigo that signified the sun was soon to rise appeared in the sky, and after only 30 more minutes of desperately trying to hold on to his life the drones in the trench suddenly stopped, climbed out and marched back to the other trench line. After this Adonis reported to high-command.
“This is vox-master Adonis, the fighting is over. 10 casualties, I’m all that's left.” Adonis reported grimmly. Exhaustion evident in his voice.
“This is High-command Vox-master Gunther. We hadn’t heard from you in a couple of hours so we thought you were dead. Frankly, the fact that you’re alive is a miracle.” Gunther responded incredulously.
“Is that so?” Adonis responded without any emotion, too exhausted to care.
“Well problem is we canceled evacuations to that trench. I’ll go talk to someone higher up. In the meantime sit tight.” Gunther responded.
Adonis would trudge out of the trench. Seeing a hill, not crater pocked and covered in grass with a large, flat rock on top. Adonis would make his way over to this hill, and sit atop the rock, feet pressed together as he took his vox-caster helmet off. His face covered in sweat, he can see how utterly covered in the blood of his comrades he is. Sickened by this fact and given his reprieve, he ejects what little remains in his stomach. Tears stream down his face as he questions how much longer he’ll be in this army, how many others will he see turned to paste, and why he decided to fight instead of joining his Roleru in the afterlife.
His mental breakdown is set to the backdrop of a beautiful sunset, he has calmed down by the time a gleaming purple transport pulls up to the trench line. A tall woman in purple armor steps out, white hair flowing down her shoulders, with piercing purple eyes. She scans for something before setting eyes on Adonis.
She calls out to him, “Vox-master, your transport awaits.” Adonis walks to the transport, not bothering to go back to the trench. After the imposing, yet elegant woman climbs into the transport after him, the doors close and it speeds off.
submitted by meme-lord-Mrperfect to PrimarchGFs [link] [comments]
THE FINAL DRAF IS NOW AVAILABLE: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1m7gCg5XEeo5qTYelH2mrLN86QFCQCazjXx45bUewfEM/edit?usp=sharing
ALSO: This is a first draft, will post the revised one later.
Adonis came from a backwater mining world that had maintained much of its mining equipment and a base level of industry during the age of strife. Adonis lived a relatively uneventful life on this planet, being the only child to two parents who had gone missing when he was twelve, he would enter the mines earlier than most, but only slightly as although technically mining jobs could only be conducted by those older than eighteen, however through necessity children as young as thirteen would entire the mines to help sustain their families. These younger workers would be given relatively safer jobs compared to the older workers, monitoring equipment and other surface operations as examples. Even still this labor was backbreaking, and would more often than not result in the early demise of many inhabitants of this planet.
On his first day in the mines, Adonis would be paired with a girl who was fifteen years old, slightly taller than him, who stood at 4’11” at the time. She had short, light brown hair, and a thin but muscular build. They were trained on how to monitor the Auto-miner machine, and who to contact if anything went wrong. They were then given some time to get acquainted with one another before beginning their work. The girl introduced herself first.
“Hello, my name is Roleru, I look forward to working with you”, she responded with more enthusiasm than a young teen forced into the mines should.
“Adonis, and likewise”, He responded a bit hesitant. He was not looking to make friends. He barely wanted to be working, let alone in a mine, he would work there no longer than he had to, then he would find better work elsewhere. Adonis was still confused about where his parents had gone, and why they had left him behind
After this they were led down into the mines, making small talk on the rusty service elevator, and it turns out she was an only child as well. They shared a lot in common, her father had died in a mining accident, and her mother was unable to work due to worsening illness. She was working to support both her mother and herself, She seemed relatively upbeat despite a life of tragedy. Maybe he could learn from her, and piece back together his recently shattered life. In this rusted mine elevator a friendship was born, and many days they would start their days talking to each other on this elevator. Their main job was to monitor a large mining machine, and if anything goes wrong to immediately hit the emergency shutdown. This machine was larger than any Adonis had seen, towering over him and with many large grinding wheels to slowly break down rocks into progressively smaller chunks, until they are eventually spit out onto a long conveyor belt. An observation catwalk overlooked this series of crushers, with simple metal railings, and a solid metal floor to prevent any dropped materials from potentially damaging the equipment. They were shown to the cabin, where a vast array of displays and buttons could be found, and one large red button in a plastic case with the panel behind it painted a surprisingly vibrant yellow considering the dirty state of everything, and above it set on a background of hazard stripes the word “Emergency Shut-Down” could be seen in distinct red lettering. The operator that led them here initiated the machine to start up, and their work began in this cramped cabin where Roleru and Adonis would become practically siblings, with Roleru practically becoming Adonis’ older sister.
About 3 years of this work would go by in the blink of an eye, Adonis now fifteen is the same age as Roleru was when she started working in the mines. Now that Roleru could officially work in the mines, she would be given more training on how to actually operate the machine she had monitored for so long. Adonis was so proud of his big sister they celebrated that night, getting some slightly higher quality rations to have a feast that night. Any decent quality food was a real commodity on (insert planet name here).
However, the happy times wouldn’t last, as a couple of months later Roleru’s mother would die due to her illness. Although she would return to a happier mood after properly grieving, she never seemed quite the same to Adonis. They would continue to work in the mines together as they always had, now with no technician to accompany them to start the equipment. Together they would continue to grow closer, practically inseparable at this point, Roleru found a lot of comfort in Adonis’ presence which was sorely needed when she was grieving.
During this entire time Adonis would look for his parents in his free time, following any leads he could find. He would discover at the same time of Roleru’s mother’s passing that his parents had also passed in a mining accident, operating the same machine he and Roleru were working with. This fact would linger in the back of his mind at work from then on, disturbed by the potential lethality of the machine he interacted with daily.
Another 3 years would pass, Adonis and Roleru would continue to grow together. Moving in together, as any family should, and for financial reasons. Adonis, now 18, had recently finished his training on mining machine operation and maintenance. Roleru, now 21, had prepared the same high quality rations they had when she was promoted for that night's dinner. However, tragedy would strike during the workday, as Roleru would slip on the catwalk of the machine while it was in operation, and fall into the crushing gears. Adonis would immediately hit the emergency stop. As the loud machine whirred down, there was still energy in the gears, they would slow to a stop in the silence, but in the silence there was a sickening wet ripping sound, followed by a desperate pained scream. Adonis would quickly call for help before going down to help Roleru, however the sight he saw in the maw of this great devourer was horrifying. The entrails of his sister decorated the grinding gears like some sick and twisted form of party streamers, and the blood oh god the blood. Adonis could hear pained groans and he quickly scrambled to find the rest of Roleru. He would find her shortly after he began searching.
“No. no no no no. Stay with me! Help is on the way, you’ll be okay”, Adonis pleaded with Roleru.
“Sorry cough cough I guess I was too careless” Roleru responded, blood rolling out of her mouth. Internal bleeding, or is it external in this case? Ah semantics don’t matter, thought Adonis. The light was already fading from her eyes, unsurprising for the amount of blood loss, and the gore.
“NO! Don’t leave me, don’t leave like they did.” Adonis pleaded with a raspy voice through choked sobs, unsure of when he started crying. “Please stay with me, you promised you would.” He held her close, trying to comfort her in any way he could while desperately trying to stop the bleeding before the medical team arrived.
“I’m so sorry, I wish I could stay with you longer.”, Roleru said calmly, though the tears rolling down her face betrayed her true emotions. “I’ll always be with you in spirit.”
With that final statement she died in his arms, he would clutch the gorey remains of his sister, screaming and crying until the medical team arrived. They had to peel him off of her remains, essentially dragging him out of the mine for the day, on his walk back to their shared home, he would see a strange looking official giving a speech he only overheard part of it and he was only vaguely paying attention.
“From this day forward you will pay a tithe to the Imperium of man”, the official stated. A new ruler? Happens all the time, nothing to worry about Thought Adonis, little did he know this announcement would soon turn his already tumultuous life upside down.
He entered the hab building, and saw the two ration packets set out on the table, along with a small rectangular box. Adonis opened it, his hands still caked in Roleru’s blood. Inside was a simple silver locket, containing a photo of the two of them 3 years ago, celebrating Roleru’s promotion. Clutching the locket Adonis would fall to his knees and cry. An hour later Adonis would fall asleep, exhausted after showering. He would wake up the next morning, finding the two ration packets still uneaten on the counter.
After eating some breakfast and heading out for work, Adonis would notice something attached to the door of their hab unit.
It reads: Draft notice, You have been drafted to serve the Emperor of mankind. Report to the imperial guard training facility in 2 hours (live updated).
2 hours? Emperor of man, how conceited can one be? Oh well, it doesn't sound like I have a choice. Adonis would change his course, notifying his overseer at work before locating the Imperial guard training center. Little more than a temporary tent, it would appear there are other recruits here as well. A group of nine others were also waiting, clearly also drafted. After a bit of small talk with the other recruits, a man in olive green flak armor, a string of numbers on a plate attached on his left breast clearly some form of ID, wearing a helmet of the same color with a gold skull on the forehead. Walked out of the tent and immediately commanded the attention of all the recruits present. The man spoke in a gravelly voice, “I am Sargent Gordel, And I will make all of your lives hell over the next six weeks. You will have exactly one minute to make calls to get your affairs in order, after that you belong to the Imperial army." With that he turned and walked back into the tent, the recruits panicked at first, then followed him after a short while. That was 6 months ago, and as Adonis sat in some god forsaken trench during a particularly brutal compliance, he had wished for the thirtieth time that day that this was all some horrible nightmare. Alas it was not, he had been stationed on the frontlines, fighting against some technologically advanced humans that used bladed drones to devastating effect. Adonis was not particularly skilled at warfare, his aim was middling, his hand to hand skills less than perfect, and he had no mind for command. However, his previous work had him communicating a lot. This skill in both verbal communication, and communication equipment landed him a job as a vox-caster in his squad, lead by Sargent Gordel. Adonis disliked Gordel, a man of hubris and little talent in leadership. However, due to his role in communications Adonis had to be in close to proximity to the man during all waking hours. Ever since he had received the special vox-caster helmet he kept it on, only taking it off to eat. Adonis felt safe enclosed in his helmet, the constant line of communication meaning he could prepare for any future curveballs that might turn his life upside down, so that what happened after that horrible day will never happen again. Adonis would never be caught off guard again, or so he thought. As this compliance continued, Adonis was hearing fewer fellow vox-casters every day, until nobody responded on short-range communications one day. Alone, Adonis and his squad were all that was left in the trench line. As a forward position high casualties were to be expected, but they hadn’t been reinforced in weeks. Adonis had been given a faulty long-range vox, so he often had to make trips down the trench to the nearest squad to communicate with high command. During his last trip Adonis had heard that surrender of the planet was currently being negotiated, but in the meantime to keep fighting, that was days ago. During his trips down these lines he would often pass segments where the guardsmen had either been butchered by the drones, or fled the battlefield. He was envious of those who fled, but he would feel responsible for the deaths of his comrades if he left them to die. Today Adonis would try to retrieve a long-range vox to talk with high command. Shells were still falling on enemy positions, so they weren't abandoned. An assault on the trenches happened last night, it took 30 minutes of walking for Adonis to reach the next position, all he found there was a puddle of gore, and if he hadn’t known humans were here before, there was no way to identify what organism this pile of entrails used to be now. It sickened him, but he kept moving, not lingering on the thoughts of his past. It would take hours to find a usable long-range vox. It would take more hours to return, but in the meantime he used the vox to get updated on the situation.“This is vox-master Adonis in the first trench, position 38. Looks like my squad might be the last one left. High-command please respond.” Adonis hailed, hoping to hear back soon.
It would take 30 minutes for a response, but it came nonetheless. “We read you Adonis, this is High-command vox-master Gunther. How the hell are you guys still alive, the last report we got from the forward trench was 4 days ago. Anyways, peace has been reached and will go into effect tomorrow at dawn, until then keep fighting and we’ll come get you.” The man responded in a shocked voice.
“Copy command, I had to scavenge a long-range vox from a dead squad, mine has been faulty since we landed here. Thanks for the update, I will let the rest know when I get back.” Adonis replied, relieved that he would soon get to leave this hellscape. In the meantime he slowly made his way back to his position.
After hours of slowly progressing through the byzantine trench system, and hearing the wet squelch of viscera beneath his boots more often than not he finally made it back to his position. To his surprise everyone was still alive. After explaining what he heard over the vox to Gordel, Gordel called the other 9 people in the trench.
“Our vox-master has explained to me that we need to hold out until morning. Then this compliance will be over. Do you think you pansies are up to the task?”, Gordel asked, clearly just trying to raise morale.
“YES SIR!”, the squad responded loudly. Hope was something that had been in short supply in the trenches for weeks. To hear there was finally a light at the end of the tunnel made them all ecstatic. However the next 12 hours would be hell.
The first three were spent by the 11 people discussing what they would do on leave, then as the sun set, the next three hours were spent nervously watching the enemy trench. As midnight approached, metallic skittering could be heard across no man’s land. The drones were being used to secure one last victory by some egotistical commander on the other side, to break one full trench line before peace had officially started. At first it was a few, not even making it to the trench as the Guardsmen gunned them down with ease, but as 6 a.m. crept closer, the assault intensified.
Eventually these drones were leaping into the trenches, the 11 people gunned them down, but more took their place, eventually people were being butchered right in front of Adonis, reminding him of his friend's fate. Adonis was sickened by the site of it but swallowed back the bile that had risen in his throat, Gordel was the last to die, ripped apart limb from limb right before Adonis, he gunned the three drones down but by the time he had Gordel was dead, Adonis may not have liked him, but to die like that, Gordel had his sympathies. As Adonis fought on he wondered when the sun would rise, how much longer would he have to fight these horrid engines, designed to kill in the cruelest way imaginable. Adonis did his duty and reported each casualty as they happened over long-range vox. The fighting never seemed to end, he had to pick up his comrades weapons multiple times as he kept running out of ammo.
After what seemed like an eternity the hues of violet and indigo that signified the sun was soon to rise appeared in the sky, and after only 30 more minutes of desperately trying to hold on to his life the drones in the trench suddenly stopped, climbed out and marched back to the other trench line. After this Adonis reported to high-command.
“This is vox-master Adonis, the fighting is over. 10 casualties, I’m all that's left.” Adonis reported grimmly. Exhaustion evident in his voice.
“This is High-command Vox-master Gunther. We hadn’t heard from you in a couple of hours so we thought you were dead. Frankly, the fact that you’re alive is a miracle.” Gunther responded incredulously.
“Is that so?” Adonis responded without any emotion, too exhausted to care.
“Well problem is we canceled evacuations to that trench. I’ll go talk to someone higher up. In the meantime sit tight.” Gunther responded.
Adonis would trudge out of the trench. Seeing a hill, not crater pocked and covered in grass with a large, flat rock on top. Adonis would make his way over to this hill, and sit atop the rock, feet pressed together as he took his vox-caster helmet off. His face covered in sweat, he can see how utterly covered in the blood of his comrades he is. Sickened by this fact and given his reprieve, he ejects what little remains in his stomach. Tears stream down his face as he questions how much longer he’ll be in this army, how many others will he see turned to paste, and why he decided to fight instead of joining his Roleru in the afterlife.
His mental breakdown is set to the backdrop of a beautiful sunset, he has calmed down by the time a gleaming purple transport pulls up to the trench line. A tall woman in purple armor steps out, white hair flowing down her shoulders, with piercing purple eyes. She scans for something before setting eyes on Adonis.
She calls out to him, “Vox-master, your transport awaits.” Adonis walks to the transport, not bothering to go back to the trench. After the imposing, yet elegant woman climbs into the transport after him, the doors close and it speeds off.
2024.05.17 01:14 Plane-Juggernaut6833 I (M26 182lbs) was diagnosed through Fibroscan to have F4 Cirrhosis, but took a CT Scan after by Gastroenterologist and was told that there is no sign of scarring, does CT rule out Fibroscan?
As title said, I have been told I have cirrhosis based off the Fibroscan, but took a CT Scan and doc said no sign of scarring and also took a recent endoscopy which the doc said looks fine, but it did have inflammation due to Acid Reflux. Was told 6-9 months ago that I was low on vitamin D so I have recently been taking Vitamin D almost every day. Had some other blood work that was off like;
ANA (Positive Abnormal), AST/SGOT POS(62 High), p02 nonarterial(93 High), 02Sat (97 High), ALT/SGPT POC(62 High), CK POS(298 High),
Recent testing has showed the levels have stabilized.
Also had a Ultrasound for a liver and galbladder area and this is what it said; Ultrasound abdomen limited
TECHNIQUE: Sonogram of the right upper quadrant abdomen was performed. COMPARISON: No available comparison exam. FINDINGS: The liver is within normal limits in echogenicity and echotexture. No hepatic mass. No definite liver contour nodularity. No intra or extrahepatic bile ductal dilatation. The common duct measures 4 mm in diameter. 0.5 cm gallbladder polyp. No gallstone. No pericholecystic fluid. No sonographic Murphy's sign. The main portal vein is patent with hepatopetal flow on grayscale, color and spectral Doppler. Unremarkable partial visualized pancreatic head. The right kidney measures 11.7 cm in length. The right renal cortex is within normal limits in echogenicity. No right hydronephrosis. No gross right renal mass or stone. Unremarkable visualized upper.
Doc seems to not be taking this as serious as I feel it could be, I have been getting some rashes, loss of hair, joint pain, we talked about maybe Lupus.
submitted by Plane-Juggernaut6833 to AskDocs [link] [comments]
ANA (Positive Abnormal), AST/SGOT POS(62 High), p02 nonarterial(93 High), 02Sat (97 High), ALT/SGPT POC(62 High), CK POS(298 High),
Recent testing has showed the levels have stabilized.
Also had a Ultrasound for a liver and galbladder area and this is what it said; Ultrasound abdomen limited
TECHNIQUE: Sonogram of the right upper quadrant abdomen was performed. COMPARISON: No available comparison exam. FINDINGS: The liver is within normal limits in echogenicity and echotexture. No hepatic mass. No definite liver contour nodularity. No intra or extrahepatic bile ductal dilatation. The common duct measures 4 mm in diameter. 0.5 cm gallbladder polyp. No gallstone. No pericholecystic fluid. No sonographic Murphy's sign. The main portal vein is patent with hepatopetal flow on grayscale, color and spectral Doppler. Unremarkable partial visualized pancreatic head. The right kidney measures 11.7 cm in length. The right renal cortex is within normal limits in echogenicity. No right hydronephrosis. No gross right renal mass or stone. Unremarkable visualized upper.
Doc seems to not be taking this as serious as I feel it could be, I have been getting some rashes, loss of hair, joint pain, we talked about maybe Lupus.