[<< First] [< Previous] [Next >] [Patreon] [Discord]
Synopsis:
Juliette Contzen is a lazy, good-for-nothing princess. Overshadowed by her siblings, she's left with little to do but nap, read … and occasionally cut the falling raindrops with her sword. Spotted one day by an astonished adventurer, he insists on grading Juliette's swordsmanship, then promptly has a mental breakdown at the result.
Soon after, Juliette is given the news that her kingdom is on the brink of bankruptcy. At threat of being married off, the lazy princess vows to do whatever it takes to maintain her current lifestyle, and taking matters into her own hands, escapes in the middle of the night in order to restore her kingdom's finances.
Tags: Comedy, Adventure, Action, Fantasy, Copious Ohohohohos.
Chapter 231: Out With The New, In With The Old
Dorlund was in an excellent mood.
Of course, he wasn’t feeling particularly excellent before. He’d had his door blown down.
Again.
He could barely believe it. He’d purposefully eschewed the usual magical doors of obsidian baked in dragonfire and sealed with a magical lock which not even he himself could break should he lose the key.
It didn’t matter. It never did.
The fact was that if a magical door existed, then so must magical treasure to be burgled behind it. Or the logic of every thief in the known world went.
It’d taken him until he’d learned how to colour his greying beard back to a hearty black before he finally realised that stronger did not mean better. All it did was lure even better looters, robbers and even adventurers into his abode–of which that girl had been one of them.
Oh, she’d been the pick of the bunch.
Not only breaking his door, but looking righteous about it as well.
If he wasn’t already used to the careening ethics of adventurers, he would have booted her to the very edges of the Summer Kingdoms.
Sadly, age and experience had taught Dorlund many things. Patience being one of them. And also the stickiness of adventurers. The last one he’d sent to enjoy a cliffside view of the Beryl Sea while dangling off a branch. He’d returned with a fine collection of seashells to sell to him.
No, there was nothing about that girl which intrigued him.
At least not until he saw what sword she held.
He recognised it. Not the blade itself, of course. He was no blacksmith. To Dorlund, fanciful castle forged swords taking up room in the carriages of troll merchants were no more distinguishable than the blades of alleyway cutthroats.
What he did recognise, however, were the enchantments.
An obscene amount. Of which most lacked practical function.
There was the usual assortment to keep the blade immune from the effects of wear and tear. But then there were things like Mixie’s Sacred Caffeine Dissociation Ward. A highly complex spell of which its only purpose was to make a sword immune to the effects of coffee spillages.
It was absurd. Not only was this functionally worthless, but it overlapped with the regular suite of enchantments to prevent minor damage as well. A showcase of eccentricity. And Dorlund had always been of the opinion that magic was only as good as its practical application in real world settings.
He remembered the worst of them. And so he remembered the blade.
And he also remembered that it wasn’t held by her the last time he’d seen it.
Dorlund stopped scribbling onto his scroll as a memory swept through his mind.
One of his least pleasant ones. He winced as he thought of one of the few scars his body had ever received. He’d not expected that woman to have a temper quite so similar to a primal gorilla. But perhaps when given a magical sword, the willingness to test it also came with it.
A curious thing, then.
Despite the blade possessing no new enchantments, its current user was able to wield it with even greater proficiency. Even now, he saw light spots in his eyes as though the sun had shone into his face.
A terrible thing for an aberrant shadow demon.
But also wonderful for his ongoing research in the behavioural patterns of rare and exotic monsters.
It wasn’t his plan to study any shadowy aberrations today. But research was fluid and so was his priorities. In quick order, he recorded his final observations, before finishing with a cursory glance over the legibility of his notes. He understood less than a quarter. Perfect.
He smiled in satisfaction–and then promptly realised a draft was entering his tower
His visitors had left just as they came, leaving his door shattered into a thousand fragments.
Dorlund bemoaned the state of his tower. It wasn’t much, admittedly. But it was practical and spacious. Much more so than his formal study, crammed with so many books that he was certain one of them was multiplying when he wasn’t looking.
He needed to return. And not just to make sure books hadn’t consumed half the continent.
The scroll needed to be transcribed into his untitled compendium of monsters. His life’s work, even if he’d never spent a moment of his life purposefully working towards it.
After all, there was little need.
The powerful were drawn to the powerful, and tonight, this included both adventurers and monsters.
He sighed as he gazed around at the strewn wreckage of his chamber once more.
Even the candles were ruined. Flames lit by holy oils worth more than the treasuries of ancient families now wasted. He’d need to tidy it all up. And likely with more than magic too. For the smallest pieces, he’d need to resort to using a dustpan and brush.
… He could do it later.
There were more doors in his tower. And he doubted if anyone else would be so curious as to risk his ire tonight.
Dorlund tucked the scroll under his arm. He took in a shallow breath.
“[Arcane Teleport].”
And then an almighty snap filled the air.
The next moment, the wizard was gone.
Colours and unknown visages blended together as he swept through paths unseen by ordinary eyes. Rivers, cities and mountains parted like curtains at a speed which would have seen even the greatest of mages faltering directly into somebody’s garden wall.
Dorlund considered himself greater still.
Which is why–
“Hmm.”
The next sight he saw was that of his study.
A homely thing. And thankfully not overrun with books. They were on their shelves.
Most of them, at least.
A room which was even smaller than the chamber he’d just left. But he hadn’t chosen it for its size, but rather for its location. A permanent residence at one of the finest institutions of learning in the Grand Duchy of Granholtz, frequented by the great, the powerful and the drunk.
The Lost Mermaid Tavern.
Dorlund had a very generous room discount.
Sadly, it was far too noisy. Granholtz’s taverns were famed for many things, but civility was not one of them. Especially when academia and alcohol was involved.
Regardless, it was the closest thing he had to home. And his boasted enough tomes laden on every shelf and toppling pile on the floor to match any great library. In these works was the accumulated sum of his research. And none of it was to be touched or removed.
An unfortunate thing, then, to find he was not alone in this room.
He frowned as he peered at the lifeless body upon his floor.
Beneath the blackened thief’s attire, dried blood spilled from some wound which failed to be cauterised by his fulmination rune, and thus threatened the edges of his shelves.
He’d need to make a complaint afterwards.
Magical defences or not, he paid not only to stay, but also for housekeeping.
Stepping over the corpse, he searched for the appropriate tome on his shelves.
He found it at once. A large compendium which he swung to the section concerning shadow demons. His amendment would be small, but important. Aberrant behaviour was rare, and needed to be documented to know if any change was indicative of something widespread or localised.
There was much they still didn’t know about the fiends they called monsters, but Dorlund was endeavoured to chronicling it.
Creaaaak.
Providing he wasn’t disturbed, of course.
A woman in the finer years of her life burst through his doorway, her sister’s habit fluttering like a banner from the sheer strength of the magic in her hands. A golden orb of holy flame simmered in her grip as she readied to launch a sermon in the form of a swift trip to the heavens.
A moment later–
“Dorlund! You old fox, I didn’t know you’d returned! Gods, I almost turned you into a … well, that.”
The sister nudged her chin towards the partially charred corpse on the ground.
For his part, Dorlund only had eyes for the last puff of holy fire before it was extinguished. One of these days, he’d ask for the secrets of the Holy Church to be able to imbue such power amongst its sisters. And one of these days, he might actually receive an answer.
He offered a gentlemanly smile.
“Just a brief visit, no more. I’m here for my compendium. I discovered an aberrant shadow demon. Not only was its behaviour highly inordinary, but it was also undetectable by my magic. A splendid specimen. I was rather sad to see it go. I’m here to transcribe my notes.”
Sister Pomona, 3rd of the Sonnenritter, allowed her shoulders to fall.
A sigh exited her lips. Not once, but twice. He felt both were unnecessary.
“Is that so? How very much like you, Dorlund, to suddenly teleport knowing full well the racket you’d be making. I thought someone was burgling your room.”
“And I see you rushed to see it was averted. A needless act of studiousness on your part, but one I offer my gratitude for nonetheless. I apologise if I took you away from your business in the tavern.”
“You should. My business with my wine is crucial. Do you know the number of economies which rely on my tastebuds?”
Dorlund almost considered giving a number, even if he knew it’d be an underestimate.
Instead … he was drawn to a commotion behind the sister’s shoulders.
Although the flames in her hands had vanished, the same could not be said for the other guests in The Lost Mermaid Tavern.
A mage in scarlet threw a lance of black lightning, the magic rebounding throughout the hallway outside. It struck two of the other guests, painting holes in their chests as they fell on the spot. A moment later, the mage himself cried out as his crimson robes were set alight. Frozen flames covered his body, immune to his attempts to snuff them out as he was swiftly turned to soot.
Screams and shouts. Carnage and mayhem. Magic and smoke.
Dorlund raised an inquisitive eyebrow.
“Did two rival professors enter an argument about cheddar vs gouda again? If so, the barkeeper should know to put a stop to it at once. It’s really not worth vaporising each other over. Especially since cheddar is clearly superior.”
“It’s not about cheese. Not this time, at least. It’s the Cowled Magisters.”
“Well, tell them to stop. This is a tavern, not some Granholtz fighting pit. And unlike most others, I actually see a distinction between the two.”
“You can tell them. They took insult to the suggestion they could not even pour an ale, much less raise Rozinthe back to prominence. As a result, they’ve now opted to pause the process of restoring their nation to its rightful place as the hegemonic authority on the continent in order to show everyone their talent at dispensing various ales. All who disagree with the foam percentage are vaporised.”
Dorlund didn’t bother holding back his snort.
“Cowled Magisters. No matter how they cloak themselves, their lack of foresight still hurts the eye.”
“Not even the slightest sympathy with their cause?”
“There are better ways to further the cause of magic than to shovel away at its institutions every few years. Out with the old and in with the new stops being meaningful once everything is new and still continually being destroyed.”
“Perhaps they should look to the Holy Church. Why, with us, it’s always ‘in with the old’ … even when we only want to leave. My latest retirement request has been declined.”
“You’re far too admired to be allowed to retire.”
“As are you, and yet you’ve erased yourself from society.”
“An excellent thing too. If those magisters believed I was available, they’d lasso me at once.”
“It wouldn’t be a bad thing. Rozinthe has always been a magocracy. You assisting would simply formalise it. And grant you a bigger room in the process. One with space to add another shelf. What do you say? I hear they’re hiring.”
The sister turned to the side, gesturing outside as an amused smile played at her lips.
A contrast to the agony upon the face of a guest now realising that [Cloud Barrier] was exactly as the name suggested. It did as much to stop a fireball as a wall of marshmallows.
“I believe I’ll pass,” said Dorlund, suffering as he failed to ignore the crass spellwork. “I’ve neither the wish nor the need to waste good seconds on seeing how Rozinthe’s secret cabal of mages chooses to make a mess of everything they touch.”
Sister Pomona smiled, then closed the door.
He wondered how much time he’d need to offer before it was socially acceptable to open his compendium and begin working. A consideration he made not only out of politeness. But in the knowledge that making the wrong estimate would hamper his ability to write considerably.
“It is a pleasure to see you again after so long, Dorlund.”
“The same with you, Pomona. I regret that my research takes me to places where contact is limited.”
“I’m aware. The last I heard, you were secluded in some faraway refuge.”
“You heard correctly. A forest in the Kingdom of Tirea. Lovely place. Quiet. For the most part. I’m rarely burgled more than once every two months. Even so, I find I’ve little time for smaller matters.”
“Smaller matters. Like ensuring I hadn’t died yet?”
The hand that’d been creeping towards opening his compendium stilled. A bead of sweat ran down his face as he thought of the correct response.
“Rest assured, I would have known immediately if you’d died. You’ve nothing to fear on that account.”
He suspected from the look he received that his words were incorrect.
Unfortunate. He could hardly know her living status if he was dead first.
A scowl later, the sister crossed her arms and leaned against the door. Neither of them were leaving anytime soon, apparently.
“You should consider an apprentice,” she said simply. “I’m certain you’d make a fine instructor.”
“I’m certain I would. Much more than an apprentice would make a good student. I’m afraid they’re more of a hindrance than a help these days.”
“You’d be surprised. There is no shortage of prodigal talent, but as is often the case, talent needs to be tempered before it can be wielded. If you offer enough time, the results will speak for themselves. Only 1 out of 100 will give you a headache to make you wish you’d returned to sinning in The Flailing Hog.”
Dorlund paused.
A scholar, a philosopher and a great wizard. As all of these things, he understood the fabric of the cosmos more than almost any, speaking a dozen languages now lost to time. But even so, he had to think as he looked at the woman’s irritated expression, her eyes turned to some unseen window.
A silence ensued, filled only by the noise of running in the corridors. And at least one person having their torso turned to powdered chalk.
Then, he cautiously coughed.
“Ahem … did something happen recently?”
The sister gave a long, drawn out sigh. Yet although her expression only became more pained, he knew at once he’d made the right query.
After all, that expression wasn’t aimed towards him.
“I don’t even know where to start. Frankly, I’m considering becoming a hermit myself. A problem as the heavens are far more capable of knowing where I am than people are regarding you. One of my colleagues, and my own former trainee no less, has managed to get herself arrested.”
Dorlund nodded, all the while stepping over the corpse.
He discreetly burned away some of the blood with a wave of his hand as he went. Then, he opted to take a seat upon the only chair present. He suspected this would not be swift. And as mannered as he was, he wasn’t prepared to let the vacant seat go.
“Perhaps you even saw her being dragged away in chains yourself. I sent her to Tirea, you see. And not even for anything remotely devious. Somehow that makes the humiliation even more palpable. I hoped she’d learn a bit of basic management and accountancy skills. Assisting the finances of an ailing chapel. The most peaceful and quiet job in the world. And she blew up a mine.”
Sister Pomona placed her face in her palms, the lines on her face becoming more pronounced than anything holy magic could do to soothe them over.
“She’s always had a talent for drawing out my headaches. But this goes beyond anything I could have envisioned. I’ve no idea what was going through her mind. And can you guess the result?”
“I cannot,” replied Dorlund as his compendium slowly began to open.
“She was defeated by an adventurer. And now I’m told she’s being shipped off to some … bizarrely named island, apparently to aid in the manufacture of toiletries. It is galling. I’ve half a mind to leave her there for a decade and let my successor deal with grovelling for her release.”
Dorlund nodded as he knew he was expected to.
In truth, he didn’t mind. It was rare to find someone who wished to have a conversation not involving robbing him of knowledge. Sister Pomona was one of them.
But maybe that’s because there was little the heavens hadn’t already told the 3rd of the Sonnnenritter.
“... And what about you?” she asked, to the snapping of a book again. “Have you discovered any headaches of your own worth comparing with?”
Dorlund gave a hum.
“There are always headaches in the field of magical research. But unlike yours, mine are a joy.”
“Good. I’m glad to see that being a hermit has done nothing to change your candour. Even so, I must confess that Tirea doesn’t strike as the sort of place you would choose to conduct your research.”
“True. But for a small kingdom, it routinely conjures up the largest surprises.”
“Yes, overly large badgers and cattle. Really now, I see little reason why you need to play at being a recluse other than to further your own image as some aloof wizard. You can do such a thing in any decent mage’s tower in Granholtz. Somewhere you can more easily ensure I haven’t died.”
Dorlund coughed into his fist.
Partly to hide his awkwardness around the only person who’d ever insisted on drinking games with him. But also to hide the fact that he was hardly the only recluse that kingdom had.
He decided that Sister Pomona had quite enough troubles to deal with.
Moreover, he had absolutely no desire to bring her and the entire Sonnenritter right to his doorstep.
And they would come. All of them.
As intrigued as he was to see the ensuing results, he preferred that at least a fraction of his tower remained. And also the kingdom which housed it.
There’d been more than one reason why he didn’t wish to direct a girl who’d knocked down his door to his neighbours. Because as dark as that shadow in his tower had been, there existed things that even a sword with a hundred unnecessary enchantments could not shed light upon.
Then again, she’d managed to make that sword shine more than even its previous wielder.
Perhaps it could be brighter still.
He’d need to take notes.
​
[<< First] [< Previous] [Next >] [Patreon] [Discord]

We're back! Had an uptick in university work, but will try to work on this fic when I can.
Special Thanks to Space Paladin for creating the setting, and to u/JulianSkies and u/Bowaustin for proof reading! Thanks as well to u/enderball55 for creating the title!
<<< Prev First Next >>>
Memory Transcription Subject: Dr. Theresa Chambers, Acting Director of Collections, AMNH
Date [Standard Human Time]: October 9th, 2136
I awoke with a jolt. Sleep deprived and full of stress after the previous day’s events, I stumbled around for my phone. Despite my best efforts, I had not slept much last night at all. The stress and chaos that had unfolded was simply too much to get any real sleep. I picked up my phone and looked at the time. I only had 30 minutes until the national guard would arrive. 30 minutes to try to look remotely presentable and get ready for today’s chaos.
I wandered over to the coffee machine and made myself a quick cup, surely the first of many today. Not even waiting for it to cool, I took a sip. I didn’t care that it was burning my mouth. I simply needed the energy and I needed it now. I quite simply didn’t have time to wait for it to cool. I checked my phone briefly as I waited for the caffeine to take effect. Most of it could wait, but one message in particular caught my eye. It was marked as high priority and had come from Venlil Prime. I looked at it perplexed. Why on earth would someone from Venlil Prime need to reach out to me? Surely whatever it was could wait until after the evacuation? Regardless, I opened the message.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Doctor Theresa Chambers,
On behalf of the Town of Grovelake, I would like to extend a welcoming paw to you. After much consideration and debate, we have formulated a plan for your arrival in several paws. First, upon arrival on [OCTOBER 12th, 2136], you will be escorted to your temporary residence at 118 Groveriver Lane. To ensure that nothing goes awry, we have assigned our two most gifted exterminators to escort you. These being Chief Exterminator Veni, and Prestige Exterminator Nira. Due to the short notice on your arrival, we had to house you with the curator of the Grovelake museum, Teva. To ensure that both of you will be safe, we will require that you regularly check in with the Grovelake Exterminator’s Office.
Furthermore, we hope that you find our town a welcoming one. While you are the first predator that will be living it, we still want you to feel welcomed. Thus, we will be providing you with a welcome gift of fresh fruits from our local farms. While it’s not flesh, we hope that you will find it satisfactory. Attached to this message is important contact information.
Sincerely,
Magister Chevek
[CHIEF EXTERMINATOR VENI]
[GROVELAKE EXTERMINATOR’S OFFICE]
[TEVA]
[GROVELAKE MUSEUM] ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I read through this message a little confused. Why did they want exterminators of all jobs keeping tabs on me? Surely there are more qualified professions for monitoring me. Why did they even need to monitor me in the first place? I’m a museum curator and not a threat? Oh well, more of that insane thinking that led to this whole situation. At least I’d get to meet my main colleague almost immediately after arriving. I’m sure that she would be thrilled to hear about what earth museums are like. Anyway, I can revisit this message and maybe even contact her ahead of time after the evacuation.
I looked down at the time and realized I only had ten minutes left until the national guard arrived. I sighed and practically sprinted down to the main entrance. I reached the entrance just in time to see that the national guard was arriving. A sea of trucks lined Central Park W. Already, the national guard were unloading from the trucks and heading towards the museum. Glancing down towards W 81st street, I could see that more were going into the parking garage of the museum.
From one of the trucks came a tall man wearing an officer’s uniform. I exited the building and waved to him. He looked up at me and started walking towards me. Once he was close enough, he called out “Are you Dr. Chambers?”
“Yes, and who do I have the pleasure of speaking with?” I responded.
“Colonel Smithwick, New York National Guard. Is everything ready for us to start packing? We’ll be moving the collection to Newark as soon as it's ready. And have you briefed your staff already?” He asked as he made his way up the stairs.
“Yes, we’ve already started packing and have made great progress. Are your people also on their way to Building 3A? Some of our most valuable specimens are kept there.” I answered, holding the door open for him.
“Yes, we have personnel there helping pack the collection there. Thankfully, much of it is already ready for packing. We’re hoping to move much of it to Newark by the end of today. I’m glad that we’re saving these items. I dread to imagine what those damn birds will do to them.”
“I agree, our collection here is invaluable. I’m glad you’re helping us move it since I don’t know how we would do it on our own.” I responded and followed him inside.
“Here, let me show you what your men will be working with. We’ve gotten a good chunk of the fragile artifacts packed up already, but will need help with the larger artifacts.” I added as I continued to walk through the Theodore Roosevelt Rotunda with him.
“For example, our fossil displays will need to be disassembled and moved still. Especially the Barosaurus and Allosaurus. They’re iconic of the museum and it would be a shame to lose them.” I continued, gesturing to the display.
“I concur, we’ve already made plans to move the parts of the collection that UNESCO deemed of extra cultural, scientific or artistic significance first. Those fall under it, along with a significant portion of your fossil collection.” He responded, looking over the display.
We continued for some time, walking through the halls and discussing the various parts of the collection and when it should be moved. By 07:30, we had come up with a decent plan of action. The museum staff would move the most vulnerable and fragile artifacts, while the national guard would move the larger and easier to move items. This ensured that both parties would be playing to their strengths. Furthermore, we had concluded that it would be best if we both shared command over the packing. I would handle my staff and Colonel Smithwick his.
Along the way, we were joined by Dr. Marsh. She first introduced herself to Colonel Smithwick before asking me “How did you sleep?” “Not great, it’s hard to sleep when it seems like the world is ending. But, I feel like we’re in the same boat. Can’t imagine any of us getting rest until we reach Grovelake.” I responded with a slight chuckle.
“It’s been the same with the national guard. So many sleepless nights spent ensuring my men are ready for whatever happens.” added Colonel Smithwick.
“I agree, Theresa. Hopefully we can all rest when we get settled in Grovelake. Anyway, I’ve got good news. our entire microfossil collection has been packed. Hopefully we can get it moved by today. Do you think that’s possible, Colonel?” Dr. Marsh asked. “Yes, I’ve already given the order for any items already packed to be moved immediately. Hopefully it won’t be an issue if they sit in a warehouse for a few days before being loaded onto the transport shuttles.” answered Colonel Smithwick.
“No, it won’t be an issue, provided they are kept at a consistent temperature and humidity.” I interjected.
“Of course. The warehouses we are bringing the collection to are temperature and humidity controlled. That’s what UNESCO gave us after all.” he responded.
The three of us continued to talk as we moved through the halls, formulating a plan for each of the sections we passed through. We deemed the fossil collection on display one of the easier sections to pack up since it was mostly casts. They’re light enough that more of them could fit on a truck than a standard fossil. Furthermore, should we need to set up exhibits in Grovelake, it would be easiest to start with a complete collection of casts. Hopefully it won’t be an issue that a good chunk of our collection consists of the skeleton of long dead predators.
We continued to go through the halls, answering the numerous questions that pop up. One of the main ones was how we were going to handle some of the larger and heavier objects. It seemed that someone would show up with a question every couple of minutes. Someone asked about this for every single large fossil on display. We simply told them that yes, we were moving all of them and that they would need to be disassembled.
However, once we exited the hall of fossils we were greeted by a very concerned looking national guardsmen. She saluted the colonel and asked “Sir, we’ve got a problem that needs your urgent attention. If you’d like to follow me, I can show you what it is. It’s just this way in the hall of ocean life.
We followed her down to the hall of ocean life where people were packing up the various taxidermies. The various personnel inside were a mix of national guard and museum staff and were making good progress. What caught our attention however, was the people trying to disassemble the whale. While it had been rebuilt after an incident in 2068 and thus easier to move than previous incarnations, it was still a 92’ long model of a blue whale. Worse was that we had no idea if it would even fit in whatever space we were given in the Grovelake Museum. That would be something I’d have to check with Teva.
“Sir, what do we do with the whale?! We barely have the means to move it out of this room, nevermind outside of the museum, Are we expected to move it?”She asked, sounding increasingly confused.
I quickly checked my tablet and saw that yes, the blue whale was designed culturally significant by UNESCO. I read through the list and saw that apparently, everything in our museum was deemed significant enough to move.
“Yes, we’ve got to move it somehow. If any of you have an idea on how to move it, please let us know.” I answered as I showed her the tablet.
“You’ve got to be kidding me! How the hell does UNESCO expect us to get all of this out in only 3 days?!” She exclaimed, sounding increasingly worried. I looked at her and then back at the walls of the hall and had an idea pop into my head.
“Well, despite this being a historic building I have no issues with destroying the building. We need to get these items out of here quickly and safely. Thus, feel free to use whatever means necessary to do so” I replied, looking over to Dr. Marsh and Colonel Smithwick.
“Any issues with that?” I asked them.
<<< Prev First Next >>>

I have a Magister Stella HX machine and I'm thinking of swapping the pump out purely for sound reduction in the mornings - I'd like to be able to quietly have my coffee before my kids wake up.
I'd like to hear from others who have successfully made this type of change. Was it difficult? Was it as simple as swapping out the pumps, or is there more to it? Do you have pics of the process? I'm moderately handy and like to tinker, but am cautious of doing something if it could damage the machine. Would love to hear thoughts!

Part 1
None shall traverse the rapids of the River Caeturon.
This was among the highest duties of the Invicti Mandatum, the unbreakable tenets of all in Caerubis.
Not that any rationally minded citizen would dare attempt such foolishness, save for the rare few hotshots who dare to overestimate their capabilities during the annual Lunation Festival, much to the amusement of many a statistician and evolutionary anthropologist.
From a young age, all Caerubians learn of the harsh dangers in the wilds beyond their great empire, an endless expanse of blistering salt flats, jagged sandstone outcrops, and razor sharp dust storms, to say nothing of the bestial monstrosities who dwell there.
The Alicorn Stampede… destroyer of my people…
Those words echoed in the centaur’s mind as he sank into the unsettling darkness of sleep.
***
Where… am I…? What is… where is Paternus…?
Amid the thundering of hooves and clouds of stinging salt dust, a young centaur foal cantered in every cardinal direction, a plush sylph clutched tightly in his arms.
“Papa...? Papa?!”
The foal’s cries were drowned out by the thundering rumble, the clash of steel, and the tingling of sparks. Dazed and overwhelmed by the cacophony of stimuli, the foal had a fraction of a second to notice the scent of ozone mixing with sodium as an unfamiliar sensation washed through his body.
“Aaaaaaaahhh!”
With eyelids and teeth clenched tightly shut, the foal wished deeply for all this madness to cease…
“Open your eyes, Dear One…”
The foal shook his head in defiance.
“No!”
“I promise, you are most safe here…”
“Make it stop! Make it stop!”
“Silly child, if you would open your heart…”
The foal stopped trembling. The deafening sounds had become the sound of flowing water… the Caeturon, perhaps? No, he wasn’t allowed near the river. Papa did forbidded it.
“You would sense the danger is passed…”
The odour of sweat and oxidation had been swapped with the smell of fresh beets… no, not beets, but something that smells much yummier.
“And you are quite safe, my little firefly…”
The foal tentatively peeked through his right eye - he was always better at seeing through it than his left, which has always made things look a little bit fuzzy, like his favourite toy - and instantly his gaze was awash with-
“Green… whoa…”
The foal looked around in amazement. There was so much green every which way he looked!
Huge things like enormous beet stalks, with bundles of leaves shaped like clouds!
A gently flowing miniature Caeturon nearby, flowing through other mini-Caeturons!
Tiny glowing balls in all sorts of colours, including ones he’d never seen before!
“Do you see now, Dear One…?”
“This… is this Fiorana?!”
A soft, sparkly giggle echoed from all directions.
“And does that mean…?”
As if on cue, a creature whose whole body was as tall as the foal’s upper half alone zipped before him.
“You’re a… a-
“‘A sylph?’ Indeed I am, little firefly.”
“Um,” the foal mused, “what’s a… ‘fire-py?’”
The sylph giggled playfully.
“Hey, are you makin’ fun of me?”
“Look around,” the sylph gestured at the glowing orbs.
“You mean… these things?”
“Fireflies are ubiquitous in this realm.”
“Well, I’ve never seen one,” pouted the foal, “but my Papa has.”
“Oh?”
“He told me so after one of his… ex-puh-diss-ins… to the Western Flats.”
“Then he is one lucky centaur indeed,” the sylph smiled, “as your presence indicates.”
“Is that why I’m here? Because I’m lucky?”
“Few have been blessed to witness this place, even in the most fleeting of dreams.”
“Then this is a dream,” the foal sighed, “I knew it was too good to be true…”
“Ah, but dreams are no less real than the reality you believe to be true…”
The foal’s eyebrow raised in confusion.
“Who’s to say that your realm is not, in fact, a mere illusion…?”
“Um… I suppose it’s possible,” the foal mused, “but I’m not s’posed to tell fibs.”
“You require proof?”
The foal nodded.
“In that case, partake of the sap from this tree.”
The sylph flitted beside a tall, green beet stalk… no, what did they call it? A ‘treat?’
“Like this,” the sylph scooped a lump of the sticky, golden sap and tasted it, “it is most delicious.”
Trotting slowly and carefully, the foal dipped his pinky into the sap and lapped it.
“Well?”
“It’s… it’s yummy! Better than figs and hazelnuts and yams and crickets… and even beets!”
The sylph smiled.
“And it all comes from this… treat?”
The sylph nodded.
“Wow, I could eat this stuff forever an’ ever!”
“That will be wonderful… someday.”
“‘Someday?’”
The sylph nodded, and the foal’s ears flattened in disappointment.
“But… I can’t stay? Even if it’s a dream?”
“Do not feel your departure is forever,” the sylph assured, “for someday you shall return.”
“Is that a promise?”
“Only if you wish it to be so.”
“Hm,” the foal mused, before nodding his head in agreement.
“In that case," the sylph giggled, "I look forward to it.”
“Yeah! Okay, someday it is, then.”
“Fear not, my little firefly,” the sylph smiled, “we shall meet again, on the day you cross the Cae-
Suddenly, the vision of Fiorana was lost amid a swirling torrent of water. The foal tried desperately to stay afloat as his whole body was dragged repeatedly beneath the surface, his gasps for air growing shorter and shorter with each attempt. As his whole body ached and numbed, his vision clouding to inky blackness, it felt as though his soul was being ripped from his body.
Is this… death…?
“Patient is waking up.”
The foal’s eyes snapped open with a start as he drew a deep breath.
“Gah! Wh…? What’s happening?”
The foal was still underwater, but… somehow he was able to breathe?
“Vital signs stable. Heart rate elevated.”
“W-Where am I…?”
“Attempted communication. Advice?”
Outside this… invisible box… a human in Caerubian garb with her finger on her left ear.
“Understood, Magister.”
And what was this armour so tightly fastened to his chest?
“You there.”
The human seemed to be addressing the foal.
“M-Me?”
The human nodded… but… what was wrong with the foal’s voice? Why was it… different?
“What happened? Where am I?”
“Relax, kid,” the human smiled, “you’re perfectly safe now.”
“Where am I? For that matter… who am I?”
The foal’s eyes widened. Why couldn’t he remember his own name?
“To answer your first question, this is Thinktank Three, Module One, Log Four, in the Empire of Caerubis.”
Caerubis… now that name he recognised.
“As for the second question… we were hoping you could tell us, though given the circumstances, it’s understandable you’d have some degree of retrograde amnesia.”
“What’s… ‘amnesia?’”
“In simple terms,” the human stated, “loss of identity and memory.”
A sudden flash echoed in the foal’s mind… thundering hooves… oxidised dust…
“In many cases it’s a temporary-
“Stampede,” the foal mumbled.
“Alright,” the human mused, “that’s a good sign.”
“No,” the foal shook his head, “Papa… where’s my…?”
“Uh, kid, I need you to stay calm.”
“But I-
“You’re still recovering," the human's voice softened, "just stay calm… shh…”
The foal nodded.
“You’ve been through quite the ordeal.”
“Wh-What happened… to me? Why is my voice… different?”
“Your voice has broken a little, that’s all.”
“Broken? Can you mend it?”
The human smiled and shook her head.
“What is it?”
“By that, I mean it’s gotten a bit deeper while you slept.”
“Well,” the foal mumbled, “how long was I asleep?”
“Several years.”
“I’m... sorry, d-did you say… ‘years?’”
“Your injuries were extensive,” the human explained, “it was the only way for you to heal.”
“No,” the foal - or rather the colt - shook his head, “no, it can’t be. It can’t!”
“Magister,” the human poked her ear again, “patient is in distress.”
“Where is he?! I want to see him now!”
“Full sedation,” the human nodded, “got it.”
“Let me out of here! Let me-
A sudden wave of drowsiness washed over the colt’s mind.
“No… what’s… what are you…?”
“I’m just giving you something to relax,” the human assured.
“No,” the colt resisted, “not this… not like… this…”
“That’s it,” the human’s voice echoed from far away, “shh…”
No, the colt’s thoughts echoed, must stay awake… must… wake-
***
The centaur’s eyes flew open as they snapped awake.
“And they wonder why I don’t like sleeping,” the centaur yawned.
Trotting over to the coffee maker, the centaur tapped a tiny yellow button on the side. He’d spent years trying to replicate the sap from his coma dream all those decades ago, and eventually managed to synthesise a sufficiently accurate formula for private consumption; now, it was his go-to treat for completion of each invention and innovation, a yummy reward for all that hard work and effort.
Sipping his sweetened cold brew with a smile, the centaur gazed at his latest feat of engineering.
“Well, they may not get me all the way to Fiorana,” he mused, “but the sky is as good a start as any.”

PoF is also hosted on Ao3! do with this information what you will.
u/SpacePaladin15 is responsible for the creation of the NOP universe.
 
in the name of staying up for obscene hours talking about author stuff with strangers on the internet, behold: “security report: actually signed correctly for once, because SOMEONE got yelled at for neglecting to do so last time”
in this chapter: we managed to dig up another security report, filed during the latter half of the rally, except this time it's totally an actual real emergency (for real). definitely NO shenanigans.
first - prev - next
////////////////////////// Archived Security Report: West Side Forum, Bluefield, Venlil 4 //////// Date (standardized human time): January 21st, 2137 //////////////////////////
//begin report, signed Valtiv. experimental Bluefield Surveillance System Automated Scanning AI is enabled and in use.
Location: western forum Timestamp: mid 7th claw, afternoon Security Concern: predators in forum, no exterminator presence or response to emergency situation.
//millionth false alarm of the day. here we go.
Two humans have been reported present in the Westside Forum. Filed records indicate they volunteered to assist with the Freeativity Rally for a portion of the day, left the forum for one rest claw, then returned to volunteer again. Identification pending for both.
Human #1: Medium length brown ‘hair’, contained in ‘ponytail’ form, smoothed with artificial products. Average build, [179 cm], female. Wearing a red ‘turtleneck’ and ‘khakis’. Unmasked face; light skin, brown eyes, no notable dermal flaws.
Identification #1 successful. Michelle Stanley. Property owner in Bluefield District. Occupation: Certified Diplomat, Representative of Human Race, Executive Operations Manager of Importation of Goods to and from Earth, Semi-Official Head Honcho of the Bluefield Humans. This individual will hereafter and for the remainder of this report be referred to as ‘Michelle’ for brevity.
Human #2: Long, straight, well-groomed yellow ‘hair’. Slim build, [174 cm], female. Wearing a yellow ‘tee shirt’, ‘chinos’ and green ‘hairband’. Unmasked face; bright skin, gray-brown eyes, no notable dermal flaws.
Identification #2 successful. Emma Porter. Renter of Unit 0 0 0 Error
Unspecified Error
//no one has time for this, just ignore it.
The humans have, for the duration of their volunteering, been wandering the grounds of the forum, periodically engaging with participants of the rally. Warning: many visitors show severely insufficient levels of caution when entering the forum. Impaired judgment likely caused by Predator Taint. Recommendation: Document identities of all residents of Bluefield to enter or exit the forum during the Rally. Schedule Predator Disease screenings.
//discard recommendation, don't ask again.
//switching to camera WF-08. following footage will explain itself.
Michelle stands amongst a herd of assorted pups; three venlil, one zurulian, one krakotl, one sivkit. The pups are displaying unacceptable levels of predatory behavior, shouting loudly, talking over each other, stealing each other’s art supplies, and demanding the human to perform demeaning tricks. The human’s clothes are marred by a multitude of flecks of paint. The human's eyes are visibly affected by fatigue.
The zurulian pup draws a crude circle with blue chalk. “Hey! Hey! Now go from, from here, to that statue, and come back!”
Michelle hums and looks toward the statue in question. It is one of a venlil holding a basket of strayu. Two teenaged venlil have set themselves up near its base, sketching out a network of lines that resemble the bark of a tree. “No, not there. Remember what I said?”
The zurulian frowns. “It’s... rude to run at people...” they solemnly say.
Michelle smiles and nods. “That’s right. Why don’t you pick somewhere else? Maybeee somewhere farther away? Give me a real challenge.”
The brightest white venlil leaps over another pup and brusquely grabs Michelle’s left arm, before maneuvering it to point in the direction of the snack table. “Over there! And maybe bring back some starberries? If you don’t, I won’t say please.”
//”white” doing some heavy lifting here. she’s covered in chalk stains and paint.
Michelle’s face contorts. Error: human body language definition not found. Best estimation: unimpressed, exasperated. “That’s not how it works, Ven, and you know it.”
“Too bad!”
Michelle’s mouth moves, but no voice comes out. Attempting to parse. “(Oh my God, what did your parents do to you to make you like this?)”
“Alright, fine,” the human says and steps into the circle. One corner of her mouth rises, a 'smirk'. "Salym, timer?”
The sivkit pup wordlessly squeaks and holds a front paw over a holopad placed on the ground. The human shows three fingers. She holds them for one full second before retracting one, then another, then the third. When the third goes down, Salym violently slams their paw on the holopad and screams.
Michelle sprints away from the herd, accelerating to [12 mph]. She reaches the snack table, dips a hand into the starberry bowl, and doubles back in seconds.
Her pace on the return is visibly slower, [6 mph]. When she is within [10 feet], she slows to a relaxed walking speed. The pups stare intently.
“Aaalright, alright, I’m back. Who wants one?”
Five of six pups immediately approach dangerously close, enough to be nearly huddled against the human. Each of them, excluding the venlil still on the ground, loudly exclaims and signals interest.
Michelle holds seven berries in her left hand. She moves one to her right and holds it aloft. “One at a time. Qalek,” the berry goes to the krakotl pup. “Vell,” another berry to the light gray venlil. “Chisi,” one to the zurulian. “Salym,” she crouches down and allows the sivkit to take the berry with their mouth. “...Tarvim, stand up.”
The off-white venlil pup’s ears flick back and then forward. “Nuh.”
“I’m not giving you a berry if you’re on the floor.”
“Nuh!”
“Fine, more for me.” Michelle opens her mouth and places the starberry inside. Tarvim does not visibly react, and continues connecting circles with lines.
Michelle rolls her eyes and swallows the berry. She turns to the last pup. “Well, Ven? Anything to say?”
Ven’s tail waves in short, snappy circles. Her ears slowly lean backward. “Hmmmmmmm.”
Michelle says nothing. She consumes the sixth berry. One remains.
Ven’s tail stops and goes rigid. Her ears swivel forward, then back, then forward again “W-wait. No. WAIT please and thank you please and thank you!!”
Michelle smiles. “Hmmmm? I’m sorry, I must not have heard.”
“Please and thank you...”
“Good girl.” She holds out the starberry. Ven takes and devours it before jolting away to a safe distance.
“Well, anyway.” Michelle turns and looks down at Salym. Her eyes briefly flick to Tarvim as they get up only just enough to scoot to the newest circle and begin connecting it to the others. WARNING: This pup is a tripping hazard. “How’d I do?"
“Uuuuuu?" Salym whines. They look down at their pad. Their ears droop. “S’v’nteen?"
Michelle stares down at the pad and grimaces. The venscript character for 30 is visible.
“Nuh uh! That's wrong!” Ven shouts. "That's thirty. You're wrong again, Salym. You're not even close! Try harder next time.”
The sivkit does not respond.
Michelle turns on a dime and glares at the young venlil. "Oi, be nice. He hasn't done or said anything to you all day.” She takes a step toward the offending pup. Ven's wool flares and her ears splay to the side. "If you don't cut it out and stop acting like a wild animal, I will take you home."
Ven pouts, but says nothing.
Michelle glances toward Emma as the other human stops beside the snack table with a large box. "You six behave. I'll be right back."
In moments, Michelle joins her packmate. The blonde-haired human has opened the box and begun restocking the emptied plates and bowls. Michelle looks between the table, the box and the other woman's hands. Her face falls.
"Please for the love of God Christ Fuck tell me you found something coffee-adjacent. I'm literally dying right now."
Emma frowns and hums sympathetically. "All there is is Sprunk--"
"Ugh I hate this planet so much! It looks like it's four in the afternoon but it's literally two AM. I'm going to explode if I don't get some fucking caffeine."
"I can run home and get you a refill if you'd like?”
"No! God no, don't leave me here alone. You just know the instant you're gone, some braindead little shit will come over and bitch and whine at me that it can't figure out how to open the paint bottles.”
Emma sweeps a hand across the side of her head, reorienting a strand of hair behind her ear. She sighs. "Mic...”
“Tsk. Where the hell is Sam? He said he'd be here by now. Is he at the other forum again? Did he ditch us like yesterday?”
The blonde human shifts her feet, looking concerned. "...I can check?"
“Yeah. Do that."
Emma pauses her restocking of the table and reveals her holopad. She glances toward the presently recording camera before she turns and begins operating the device. Further detail unavailable. Holopad is not visible at current viewing angle.
Some minutes lapse. Michelle picks up where Emma abandoned her task and completes the replenishing of snacks. One fissan comes near and takes a large mel root. Significant timidity indicates an appropriate level of caution. The humans do not react to their approach.
//getting real sick and tired of this AI acting like humans aren't literally harmless. who designed this thing? stop wasting my time with fed rhetoric.
Emma looks up from her pad. "He's not at the east forum. Not answering his texts either... I'm not sure where he is."
Michelle groans. "Oh it's just like him to break his promises and then ghost us. Great. So super duper awesome. I'm gonna be running on fumes all day because I don't have a chance to get away and get more coffee. Y'know what? It's fine though. It's fine! All the important shit was done yesterday. The Magister will be crawling all over the other forum today. We won't have to deal with any politics while half asleep. I'm so confident we won't have any surprise visits!"
Throughout the irate woman's tirade, Emma does not visibly indicate that she is listening. Her attention remains planted on her holopad. Further detail unavailable.
"...Who are you texting now?"
"Dan. He er... asked a favor a couple claws ago, and I didn't notice until now. I hope he's not mad I made him wait so long."
Michelle's eyes narrow. "The fuck's he want?"
"I'll... tell you later. Sorry." Emma looks up and makes eye contact with Michelle. The taller human's face changes subtly. Estimation unavailable due to insufficient clarity of expression.
Michelle nods. "Welp, back to work, then."
//terminating playback. I sincerely hope we can just stop responding to human-related calls entirely. when will people learn that humans aren't predators? if a human does something stupid, just call the regular police. stop wasting our time with false alarms.
//Formal Request: administration, please review the operations guidelines and make an exception somewhere for calls relating to humans. the current protocol is ridiculous. imagine if we had a full scale emergency every time someone spotted a gojid. this needs to be changed.
//end report.
//////////////////////////
first - prev - next
 
secret special fun fact! the federation races DO actually have police forces. they're mentioned a few times in canon. see: chapters 63 and 80.

Longtime lurker. I’m on a mission to improve my espresso quality. Im currently pretty happy with my shots, but I’m curious to see how much better it can get.
I roast my own beans in a popcorn popper. While the roasts are not amazing, I can get a decent tasting medium roast pretty consistently. Im currently roasting ethiopia, guatemala, and east timor. I also occasionally splurge on local specialty roasted coffee and my experience is the same:
Generally tasty espresso, maybe 1-2 dominant notes (sweet, chocolate, or bright), good texture.
I would like more complexity and flavour separation. Even with quality roasted beans, I am missing the delicate floral/fruity notes that I feel I should be getting.
What is the next logical step forward - better beans/roaster VS flat burr grinder?
My gear: sette 270 into magister stella (e61 HX) with aftermarket PID. 18g VST basket
My method: 17.5g dose>wdt>calibrated tamp>puck screen>pull shot on scale (usually 1:2 ratio or 1:2.5 for light roast)

Thanks so much for reading this everyone! u/SpacePaladin15 owns this universe, and it’s a wonderful place!
And don’t forget to follow u/TheManWithaNoPlan for their work!
[First]-[Prev]-[Next]
Memory Transcription Subject: Rolem, High Magister of Dawn Creek. Date [Standardized Human Time] October 30th, 2136
This was likely to be the last calm Paw for quite a while.
I did not think that out of any sense of overwhelmedness, but as a simple truth. Things were barely holding together within the Magistrate as the news disseminated amongst the staff. Many had already quit, for one reason or another, and the skeleton crew we were left with had been working overtime since the livestream came to our attention.
Myself especially.
I had not been able to get as much done as I would have liked due to being cut off from the 5-Hour Energy that Arvi had supplied with previously. Given his recent hospitalization, though, that might’ve been for the best. It still meant I was only able to access less concentrated versions, human “Coffee” had become a staple of all my meals, regardless of when in the paw they fell. On some level, I knew this wasn’t sustainable, but I just had to outlast the fallout of the eventual reveal.
I didn’t know when exactly the planetary government intended to make their announcement, but from what little I did know, it would be any paw now. And we are nowhere Near prepared! With the sudden and unexplained disappearance of Kevros, I needed to be more involved than I would like with the Exterminators’ Office. Making the necessary precautions without revealing the reasonings had been highly frustrating, to use polite terminology…and an utter pain in my ass to use impolite terminology. The new recruits were less than eager to follow my directives, but my status had enough staying power to override their doubts.
For now, that is.
The current exterminator acting as their liaison, a Kholshian medic named Nhilasi, had been my main contact in their office. From what I could tell, she got that position less because of her leadership skills, and more that she was one of the few actually willing to interact with me frequently. It would seem even the new recruits resented me for having cut the budget of the office for so long. I counted myself lucky that this Kholshian lady was able to both talk to me and get the orders to all the other officers with far less trouble than I had to endure.
At least they were actually doing their jobs for now. I had sent an order to start gathering the list of “omnivorous” citizens into a designated housing area until their screening could be completed. I and Fior had to order Vulen to turn over his newly built apartment complexes for the duration.
That was a… less than fun meeting. He demanded to be given a reason for our seizing of his property, even if only a temporary measure. Had me put that part in writing, even. The fact that we could not give him any explanation left him fuming, complaining we should have at least included his former colleagues in the seizure action.
I am not quite sure how he felt about my reasoning that the buildings built under his management were the only ones I trusted. Though, given that he acquiesced to our demands after that, I could only assume he felt complimented. Being able to advertise his properties as certified trustee by the high magister going forward would be a definite asset, no doubt.
But that was done. Today was just going through the motions of governing. As expected, there was another petition to remove the humans from our city, with 1000 signatures exactly. The minimum amount needed for the petition to be sent. Very interesting, the last petition from before the bombing had far more support. Still, finding out how to put in the proper snark in my response should be entertaining.
I would not get the chance to do so, however, as my door started to open, catching my attention. My assistant peaked her head through the door, a combination of tiredness and nervousness present on her features. I could not blame her, as this time had been stressful for all of us. “Apologies for intruding, sir, but it’s almost time for your third-claw appointment with Retyu.”
Ah yes, my appointment with Retyu. As per our last correspondence, she had finalized the PSA, and had a few drafts to show me. I had instructed my assistant to remind me shortly before the meeting, in the event that I was buried in paperwork. In this instance, I was lucky to have not had such a situation befall me, given how common that had gotten as of late. I collapsed my workstation and stood from my desk. “Thank you, Salvish, I will be there shortly.”
She signed positively as she ducked back out of the door. I sighed and walked around to the back of my office, looking up at the mural made to symbolize the importance of this job. It showed a herd of Venlil huddled safe in the golden glow of Solgalick, his star radiating behind him. The herd were the people I had been charged with leading. The people outside, people of all walks of life going about their routines, blissfully unaware of the memetic bombshell that was looming over their heads. A part of me was tempted to attempt to jam the transmission as it came in, just to preserve some small sense of normalcy.
Of course, I knew that would be a futile effort. Ever since humanity entered the scene, normalcy had become a thing of the past. We simply had to adapt with the times, as difficult as that was at points. Speaking of, I still had that meeting to attend. With a quick smoothing of my fur, I turned to exit my office.
As I walked through the halls, the sounds of distant work hit my ears. Even with being understaffed, those who remained were diligent in their work. In truth, I was lucky that none of the magisters resigned from their positions under the duress of the news. Moreover, they all appeared to be doing their jobs well. Fior had been of great help in securing the refugee housing, Parrismoff and Prell had already taken care of the stock buffer we had discussed, Jesh and Oqya had been diligently working on acquiring and preparing all the necessary medical equipment for the internment stations, and Syis had already set almost all crucial infrastructure up to be run autonomously, save for emergency services that required manpower to operate.
That only left Eron. Since the meeting, the Gojid magister had been distant from the rest of the Magistratta, for obvious reasons. I had not seen him much, given my own workload in managing the pre-emotive crisis response, but I at least had confirmation he had not done anything rash. I wish I had more of a chance to discuss with him, as this entire situation would hit him and those like him harder than any others. As unfortunate as it was, however, I simply did not have the time t-
Interrupting my own thoughts, my eyes were drawn to a familiar shade of tan sat in a secluded corner of the lobby, near the leg of the building holding his offices. It was Eron himself, his head hung as he remained motionless in his seat. I could see that his quills were smoother than I had ever seen them, but given the rest of his body language, I failed to glean a sense of calm from his demeanor.
I found that I had stopped my stride to look at him. I knew that I had an important arrangement to attend, I knew that I did not have time to speak with him…but I could not will myself forward. As I looked at his hunched form, I saw yet another failure of my tenure, despite the fact that this situation was out of my paws. I felt responsible for him, as much as I felt responsible for any other part of my work.
I will not fail another as I did before.
I changed my course, cutting through the bustling rotunda of a lobby to reach Eron. He did not react to my approach, his ears only twitching as I carefully placed myself on the seat adjacent to him. His eyes were closed as I sat down, only cracking open a moment after I had settled. Of course, as soon as he recognized who I was, his eyes shot open and his spines bristled, the Gojid quickly sitting up and wiping his nose. “O-Oh, Your Honor! I-sorry, I was just- I-”
“Relax, Eron,” I calmed, placing a soothing tone in my voice as I spoke to him, “I am not here to chastise you.”
“Y-You’re not?” He asked with confusion, his spines lowering somewhat. “I just kinda assumed, I know you said to take the- the next few paws off, but I didn’t feel safe…going out there.” He motioned towards the doors, sunlight gleaming through the glass entranceway. I could understand his dilemma, considering what the knee-jerk reaction to his heritage would become soon.
“I understand,” I assured him, “knowing what others might do to you once this…information is disseminated is understandably stressful. You may seek refuge here for as long as you should require.”
Opposed to the grateful reaction I expected, Eron’s mood only seemed to regress further. “I-I…I appreciate the sentiment, R- Your Honor, but that…isn’t what I meant.”
That is not what he meant? I blinked in confusion as I attempted to process the meaning behind that admission, but to no avail. If he was not afraid of what others might do to him, then what was he afraid of? “I apologize, but I am not quite sure I follow. What has made you afraid of leaving?”
Eron looked back at me with a combination of surprise and disbelief, his spines flaring once more. “Y- what? What do you mean ‘you don’t follow?’ How much more explicit can I get without s-saying it aloud?!” His tone had shifted, now agitated. However, as soon as the words left his mouth, his ears pressed against his skull and he covered his face with his claws. “Spehk, spehk! I-I’m sorry, I’m- I-I didn’t mean to…”
His voice wavered as he struggled to formulate an apology for his outburst. Had his natural defenses not been deployed, I would’ve attempted to rest my tail along his back. “You are okay, Eron. Breathe, you will feel better.”
Still covering his face with his paws, I heard him take long, shaky breaths. After a few moments, he seemed to be calm enough to speak with again. “You were telling me why you felt unsafe, yes?”
I saw Eron’s eye scan me over from beneath his paws, of which he removed shortly afterwards. He was still jittery, rubbing his claws together as he seemed to muster the courage to say what he wanted to say. “Your Honor, I-”
“Rolem,” I corrected him. It simply would not do for him to spill his heart whilst referring to me in such a formal term. “Call me Rolem.”
“R-Rolem, okay…” Eron stuttered as he paused for longer yet. “It’s…not that I’m afraid of what people might do to me, although that hasn’t escaped my notice. I’m…” The words he sought to say caught in his throat, the Gojid having to strain to push them out. “I-I’m afraid of what I might do to them.”
I turned over Eron’s words in my head. Was he referring to having to defend himself against the frightened masses? “Eron, I assure you that any actions you take to defend yourself would not be held against you.”
“No, that isn’t- Rolem…” Eron looks around the lobby for a brief moment before lowering both his head and voice in turn, whispering his continuation.
“…what if I try to eat someone?”
That statement made my ears shoot up in alarm at his statement, earning me some looks from the others in the lobby. That thought had not even occurred to me in any capacity, and with that realization came another:
Eron is, still, a predator.
Something deep in the back of my mind wishes to squirm in discomfort at being in such close proximity to him, barely managing to manifest itself in a slight lean away from him. Unfortunately, that moment of weakness was not left unnoticed by Eron, who returned his paws to his face. “I knew it, you think so too. I-I shouldn’t be here, it w-was selfish of me not to leave. I’m- I’m a danger t-to everyone.”
His blatant remorse over what he believed himself capable of was enough to silence any lingering doubts of his moral standing. Making a firm judgment, I moved my tail and laid it upon his spines. The points bristled the skin under my fur, a sensation that I was not alone in experiencing. Eron’s head snapped upright, moisture visible in them. “What…d-didn’t you hear me? I c-could eat you, you shouldn’t be anywhere near me!”
“Do you wish to eat me now?” I calmly asked him. Given how his spines moved under my tail, his reaction to such a suggestion was visceral.
“What?! N-No, of course not! I-I’d- I’d rather die than eat you!” Eron exclaimed, his breathing quick and panicked.
“Then why do you believe yourself prone to doing so?” I questioned, having already been made aware of the answer. However, it was clear to me that Eron only saw himself as the darkest part of me had. He needed to see himself as the rest of me did.
“I already told you, Rolem, I’m- I’m a predator! What if I can’t control myself? What if I just- just snap and hurt someone?! Predators have an unquenchable bloodlust, everyone knows that. What if…what if that comes back to me?”
It was unfortunate, both to hear Eron speak so negatively about himself, but moreover spout the same rhetoric that that Federation had, even after the admission of their deception. I had been skeptical of many Federation policies ever since the Tarlim case, but my recent experiences had only served to compound that doubt. This revelation served as the final weld on the starship.
A plan of action formulated in my mind. It was…risky, but I would not be content if I left Eron believing such falsehoods about himself. I corrected any residual lean as I met Eron’s eye with my own. “Eron, do you still believe that to be true?”
As I had expected, I was met with confusion from Eron. “I…do I s-still believe what?”
“This revelation has left us with not one, but two indisputable truths. You are already familiar with one, but you seem to have completely ignored the second,” I stated. I kept my voice steady, I could tell he needed something, someone, sturdy to rely on as he grappled with the truth of what he was.
After allowing him a moment to process my words, I continued. “Yes, your species was, at one point, able to consume meat. That much is true, as is this; the Federation lied.” I emphasized that last word to catch his attention. My bid paid off, as Eron’s ears that had been firmly planted against his skull since his apology rose at my words. Progress.
Knowing I had his attention, I pressed further. “The Federation lied about what you were, lied about it being a true republic, lied about their benevolence, what else might they have lied about? We have concrete proof that practicing omnivores can be civil, you know that for fact. You raised your paw when I asked if any of the Magisters had a favorable interaction with a human. Perhaps you could tell me more as to what that was?”
Eron seemed unsure, but a quick swivel of my ears was all it took to allow himself to open his mouth. “I-I was heading home from work, about a herd of paws ago. I had gone to the market to buy some fruits, but the bag had torn open about halfway there. I was s-so focused on picking them up that I didn’t realize…a h-human had walked up behind me.”
“Go on,” I implored him. As he had been talking, I noticed his tone had stabilized somewhat. I could tell he was starting to understand, but rushing it would do him no good.
“I-I was scared at first, of course. I dropped all the fruits I had managed to pick up, I thought they were g-going to eat me…but they didn’t.” As Eron recalled that part, his spines lowered substantially. “Instead, they helped me pick up what I couldn’t and walked me back home. They left me alone as soon as I was safely inside, they weren’t aggressive at all. I…didn’t thank them for their help, I just wanted to get something solid between me and them as quickly as possible. I…I regret that now.”
“Then what separates you from the stranger who helped you?” I finally asked, hoping to drive home the conclusion I was attempting to nurture. Eron immediately opened his mouth to respond, but no sound escaped him. His sadness and remorse had given way to thought as his spines wavered behind him.
I sought to continue guiding him through this, but a familiar voice caught my attention. “Your Honor?”
I raised my attention towards the source of the voice. Standing a good few tails away, further into the leg’s lobby, was Salvin, holding a package in her paws. Has it come so soon?? “The- uh, a “package” has arrived for you, sir, the rest have already been sent on to the refugee center.”
My suspicions were confirmed by Salvish’s stutter. It took a great deal of restraint to keep my tail from wagging, for it would surely be impaled if it did. “Excellent. You can leave it with me, thank you.”
Despite my instructions, Salvish remained still where she stood. At first, I was confused, but the understanding I shortly came to ensured my tail would not be wagging any time soon. Even my own assistant was afraid to approach Eron, and it was only a matter of time before he realized as much. I needed to act expeditiously, lest Eron’s mindset revert to self-loathing once more.
“Could you excuse me for a moment?” I asked Eron, not waiting for an answer before standing. I saw him look at me in my periphery as I strode over to Salvish. Her tail started wagging as I approached, but stopped just as quickly when she noticed my bemused expression.
“Is…everything alright, sir?” She questioned, following that up with a second, as a whisper. “Did he hurt you?”
I grabbed the box from her grasp, standing before her as I sought to address her egregious misconceptions. “I am unharmed, as should be expected in the company of another Magister. You would do well to remember that. Especially with a Magister we have spent several cycles working with, with more to come.”
When I saw she was about to respond, I turned my head so that my left eye bore into her forehead. Salvish was bright, I knew as much when I hired her, so I was confident that she would understand the unspoken admonishment I had given her. True to my intuition, a wave of understanding washed over her eyes, followed closely by shame. “Of course, sir.”
With that, she slunk back to her post. I would need to go more in-depth about this with her later. For now, I strode back to Eron, package in hand. He was looking at me with an expression I could not discern, but it was at least no longer intensely sad. When I sat down, he motioned to the package in my paws. “What is that?”
I glanced between him and my delivery, an idea suddenly coming to me as I did. “That is a fantastic question. Perhaps you would like to see?”
Eron signed positively, and I took to cutting the adhesive strip that held the prize within. As soon as my claw cleared the adhesive, the flaps popped upwards, ready to be parted. I did so, and what lay within was exactly as I had expected. Eron, who was looking over my side, raised to eye level. “It’s a box of…colored wool shavings?”
“Close,” I corrected as I gasped the uppermost layer and pulled. What came billowing out was immaculately-crafted, and imported straight from Earth. The reveal of its true nature made Eron softly gasp, as he certainly recognized the concept of what it was. “This is what humans call a ‘turtleneck sweater,’ due to the shape of the collar. It is not made from the necks of turtles, I can assure you of that.”
“I-I can see that,” Eron commented, pointing a claw at the article of clothing, “but why do you have it?? It almost looks as if it’s made from Venlil fur!”
“Again, close. The fiber is sourced from the fur of an animal, of which is left unharmed from the shearing process.” I made sure to emphasize that the animal was not harmed as I raised it above my head. It was no small miracle that humans and Venlil shared the same torso shape, as did many other bipedal species. In truth, humans were more similar to us than many would like to admit. I, however, possess no such apprehension.
We are stubborn, we are paranoid, we are desperately loyal, and most of all, we are passionate. We will take a moment of fear and lash out, but also stand to defend against that lashing. The extremes of kindness and corruption stand apparent before me, and I will need to weather them both in the coming paws.
I slipped the blue-tinted, monochromatic, diamond-checkered turtleneck over my head, the wool feeling soft and comforting against my own. As I adjusted its position, I spied Eron staring at me in surprise. “You’re…” he swallowed, trying to think of what to say. “You’re okay with wearing that?”
“Most certainly,” I confidently said with a flick of my ears, ensuring my sleeves were properly folded away from my wrists. “It is a product, much as any would buy in a store.”
“But- but aren’t you afraid of looking like…” his quills twitched in confusion before he let out a whispering hiss. “It’s made from the fur of an animal! Isn’t that predatory? Won’t people be scared??”
I could not help but let out an amused whistle. “As High Magister, I am rather aware of just how much of our civilization is built upon the blood and bodies of animals.” I turned my left eye towards him. “The pesticides used on our farms are quite deadly to their targets, so wool from an animal that lives upon the farm of a human is likely to be as clean, or perhaps cleaner, than my own. Anyone to be scared of this would be scared of their own shadow.”
Eron gave a snort of uncertainty. “But isn’t… isn’t it still predatory?”
“Eron, my friend,” I reached out and gave his shoulder a comforting pat, careful to avoid his quills, “after all I have seen? I have come to believe that to be called predatory is meaningless. If you are worthy of being called predatory, I do not believe a single soul in existence would be exempt.”
He blinked at me before quickly turning his head down. However, I was not quite done. I reached back into the box and pulled out…a second sweater. I had not been able to decide on one pattern to wear, so I had asked for two to choose between. Now I understood that the sweater could serve a far greater purpose. I promptly held the other out to Eron, who seemed to recoil from it. “T-There’s a second one??”
“There is,” I confirmed. “I had not been able to decide on a pattern. However, I am quite fond of the one I am currently wearing, so I have no need for a second. Instead, I think it would suit you far better than I.” The light covering hung from my grasp, thick red and orange stripes encircling the fabric horizontally. Admittedly, the orange would have been a bit too much for me in person, so giving it to Eron, whose blood was none of those colors, made the most sense. The Gojid was hesitant to take the gift, but eventually accepted.
He raised the article above his head as I had done, sliding the woolen fabric over his torso. His spines flattened as the sweater fell over them, leaving the now clothed magister with a smooth back. Taking the opportunity, I gently patted his back with my paw. “And so it fits. Tell me, what do you think of it?”
“I-I think…” Eron started, running his paws down tentatively along his new wear, “...I think it’s…comfortable. It almost feels like…like a hug.”
“Then it has done its job well,” I commented, reveling in the calmness of his tone. So much had he relaxed that the blood in his muscles had compensated, turning his face a subtle shade of blue. It was a start, but I knew that such thoughts as Eron had been struggling with would need more than a single gift to dispel. “You might want to do something to relax, Eron. This stress has been making you turn blue. May I recommend the human drink of ‘coffee?’ I must say that the drink does a wonderful job of both stimulating and relaxing. I should be able to pass on some of my personal stock after my meeting.”
Eron, seemingly lost in thought, jolted at my words. I knew that as he had been looking at me the entire time, his face still flushed. “O-Oh, yes, I…I’ll make sure to try some at my nearest convenience. T-Thank you, Rolem.”
“Of course, Eron. It h-... It’s been great talking with you” I said, my paw still on his covered back. The Gojid slowly leaned into me, which I allowed. I was thankful that I had been able to help assuage his concerns and provide him with comfort. It felt nice to help someone, even if it meant that I…that I…
Brahk, Retyu is going to kill me.
​
[First]-[Prev]-[Next]

The Basics:

Teleporters are unlocked when you hit Divine III/60 (rank III and score 60) + Arcane II/40. The magister itself is unlocked at Divine III/60.

The Short Version:

The fastest way to get teleporters: claim all available 5 regions (in whatever order) and build a lot. Then do Divine II, III and Arcane II. Any other order will cause delays, see The Details and Appendix 1 below.

The Details:

To get the necessary scores, you need to build a lot of stuff. You especially need two mage's towers (+7 Arcane if build in a seperate slot) to have a shot at getting to Arcane 40 fast. They can only be build in a town. So you need a second town. Which means you need six regions, i.e. do all five claims. And that means you need Loyalty III and Community III.
You should also not do any curse projects yet. They are not as efficient in getting Divine score as doing event cards. There is plenty of time to do them all later.

• The Divine score has never been an issue when I did this. I save scum if an event fails though, just to be on the safe side.
• The Arcane score can be close, but I dont need any Magister event cards. Its all in the buildings, some side effects of non-Magister event cards and the resource near Lonely House. You might have to build the library of Nethy's at the Divine III throne event if you did not get some random extra arcane bonus from some triumph.
• Loyalty is also easy. Might not even need save scumming.
• Community needs some fiddeling and save scumming and maybe extra builds. There is a scary moment after Community III / I could claim North Narl. Somehow, my Community score took a 10 point hit. I dunno why. But it jumped right back up to where I expected it to be after I claimed North Narl.
• The hard part is not the score, thats just money and save scuming. The hard part is the timing.

Probably redundant to mention, but just for completeness sake: use adjaciencies when building. I construct Longhouse, Monument, Shrine and Herbalist everywhere. I need at least one Orphanage, but any extra source of Community will do. I also build a Tavern and a Bulletin Board, but thats just me and my lawful good beer loving self.
Claims available in Act 2:

• Outskirts (Regent, Counsilor, Treasurer) - no prequisites
• South Narlmarches (Regent, General, Warden) - unlocked by doing Troll Troubles
• North Narlmarches (Regent, High Priest, Grand Diplomat) - unlocked by Community III
• Kamelands (Regent, Grand Diplomat, Curator) - unlocked by Loyalty III
• Silverstep (Regent, Counsilor, Grand Diplomat) - unlocked by Kamelands claimed + Lonely Hunter quest

Town upgrades:

• Upgrade capital to town (can be done in parallel to a Rankup/Claim) (Regent, Counsilor, Treasurer) - unlocked by having three settlements
• Upgrade a second settlement to town (Silverstep is best for Act 4) (can be done in parallel to a Rankup/Claim) (Regent, Counsilor, Treasurer) - unlocked by having six settlements

So, the fastest way to get Teleporters is:

• Have exactly Loy III, Comm III and 5 claims. Any other rankup, even if it is Divine II, will delay things by at least a day (see Appendix 1)
• Divine II
• Upgrade 2nd town / Divine III in parallel
• Arcane II / build 2nd Mage Tower in parallel (bonus points if it is just before midnight or you have a run left to do. It is the Bokken 3 run for me. See Appendix 1, aka the curse of the next day)
• Some other rankup / build teleporters in parallel
• Zap around and profit

This will work best if you time the start of Act 2 just right (see Appendix 0). That optimisation bit is the only important optimisation you need. All the other stuff I do, optimise xp in Act 1, skip rests, all that shit just saves you a day or two, if even that much. I did want that 'under 200' days in the title though.
In theory it could all be done faster if you dont do any quests, but that would be silly. I do Troll Troubles, Lost Child, Amiri, Valerie and Jaethal quest, recruit the horny sisters etc. All the usual stuff. And while I do that I of course clear the areas on the way. I want teleporters fast, but not at the exclusion of all else.
I do hurry that stuff up, but that is optional. But what I do not do is simply walk around in search of stuff to kill. See Appendix 3.
All in all, the Teleportation Circles were completed on day 199 after the start of Act 2 (curse timeline: 37). That happened while I was doing Economy II, so I actually started zapping around on day 208 (curse timeline: 29).
I am of course aware that none of this is necessary. You'll have plenty of time to do and see everything. And you'll skip ahead whole months towards end anyway. I just like doing it.

The Good:

• Obviously, having teleporters speeds up the fetch-delivery bits of the artesian quests. But there is an additional immense benefit from advancing the artesian quests fast. Some of those synergies need teleportation. That way, some parts sync nicely with companion quests. And you cannot delay those too much. With fast teleport you get the all the synergies. Without, the chance for some of those synergies is gone for good. See Appendix 2.
• Doing all those 14 day projects early will advance your realm. You'll unlock the Curator and the Grand Diplomat at around the same time as teleports. I count that as a plus, as I view the realm as a sort of second character advancement. If I go on playing with that mind set, my realm is nearly at full strength at the start of Act 6 and all the crap that Pitax is throwing my way is simply just more easy Successes and Triumphs. I hardly even use crisis points then. That is utter overkill, I know. I just like it.
• I think that doing all those 14 day projects and then speeding through the artesians quests might actually get me more XP than exploring would. I am not sure about that, but I am pretty sure that at least I don't delay my xp by much compared to more exploring.

The Bad:

• I do not know if this works as well if you're not lawful/good. The starting kingdom stats may differ and that might complicate things. I can imagine that chaotic evil gets less loyalty/community in exchange for something else. And loyalty/community is what you dearly need at the start. If anybody has info on that, I'd appreciate hearing about it.
• This will cost a lot of gold. Claims are expensive and building that much stuff is too. And doing it fast means you get less weekly income to pay for it all. I buy nothing except the three magic bags and a cleric Merc at lvl 5. I even sell all potions and scrolls except those Jublinost or Octavia learn, though that does not amount to much. Of course, in the long run you have more money than you know what do with. But money is tight in Act 2. So sorry Hassuf, your business has to wait.
• When I was done, including teleporters and all artesian shops, I had bought a total of 3400 BPs and had 156 BP, 9289 gold and nothing worth selling in my stash left. I also missed out on some BPs that I would have gotten if I did Economy rankups earlier. I did do some extra things for 775 BP I might as well done later or not at all. I did them because they are good to have or simply because they neatly happened to fit into the schedule and I am a completionist. So, I my guess is that ~200.000 gold is the price tag for fast teleportion.
• Tending to the realm means not exploring and killing stuff. Of course, that is a tradeoff throughout the game and in the end you will do everything and be lvl 20 either way. It is a question of priorities. The only xp I really have to miss out on (as opposed to just delay) is the black whip quest. Thats 674 xp. About the same as a trivial artesian fetch and delivery quest. Which you will get back later. So thats me down 674 xp for good. All in all though, I might even be better off as far as xp goes. Possibly worse off with the gear, though I am not sure about that. I am certainly much worse off on the money front. Those few artesian items I get earliemore are a drop in the bucket compared to what I spend on this.
• Getting the required scores for Loyalty, Community and Divinity will take some mild save-scumming and/or crisis points. I dont really need crisis point after that, so thats a non issue for me. I have not figured out how to really save scum the next event cards I get. Some cards are difficult to fit into the schedule. So there is some luck involved.

The Ugly:

• Its is very fiddely to line up the rankups/claims. I always know what two rankups/claims/town upgrade I will/can do next and keep those advisors available. That probably means skipping an opportunity or two. I have a good idea of how long a run will take so I can plan ahead. Event cards that take longer than 14 days are especially tough. I use runs to fill in downtime. That makes planning the exact order of runs, rankup and claims impossible.
• I can switch the order of just two of the runs without screwing up the nice sync synergies detailed in Appendix 2. I also pass through the Kamelands twice (Lost Child run and Linzi/Tristian run) and can do the side areas on either. I need to pass them the first time to be able to place a settlement where I want it. I use that option to adapt the length of the Lost Child run so that it snycs with the kingdom events.
• My 200 days requires very efficient runs. Like that one rest in a full week for Troll Troubles. Of course you can just relax that and have it all done a day or two later.

Appendix 0: Optimise the start of Act 2 This will all work better if you finish Act 1 fully rested at just after 16:00. That will start the first day in Act 2 at just after midnight. You can then claim Outskirts, plunder the capital, talk to everybody, recruit Bokken, grab the resource north of the capital, do Loyalty II and have ~40 minutes left to assign an advisor to handle the Eight Legged Plague event (Re, Co, HP) so that it does not screw up your kingdom stats.
Having that full first day makes a big difference because you will lose kingdom points if you do not handle the Eight Legged Plague event in time.
Bonus points if you end Act 1 on a Wealday. That makes the start of Act 3 line up nicely (Kill Goblins? Fine. Meet Kesten on a fucking specific day of the week to hunt the witch? Well, it will be that specific day when you arrive at the Shrine of Lamashtu after doing the vivisection shortly after midnight).
That is why I think the 12.5.4710 is the best day to end Act 1. Its the last Wealday inside the 30 day period. Also, have your birthday be around late May. You'll get some minor but nice bonuses that might save you the need to build a granary or some such.
Appendix 1: Why not do Divine II before all claims are done? (aka: The Curse of the Next Day) After I did claim #5 and founded my 6th settlement, I get the second town upgrade project on the next day. Upgrading is a 7 day project. Then I build a second mage tower there (14 days and done on the next day after that). And those 'next day's cause problems.
Lets say I did Divine II already and I just finished the 5th claim, i.e. have 6 settlements. Lets say - best case - it is just 5 minutes to midnight. No sweat, right? Whats 5 minutes? Even I am not that pedantic. Grab a coffee/beecigarette, then do the rankup/town upgrade.
So I start Divine III and the 2nd town project at 00:00:01. 14 days pass. Then I build the Mage towedo Arcane II at 00:00:01. 14 days pass. Well, that mage tower is now 99.995% done and it'll be ready on the next day. And that is now 23h and 59 minutes and 59 seconds away.
You may be the evil chaotic ruler of the barony. You may have awsome magic that terrifies any mortal. But the builders guild has Rules. Rule #1 says No Overtime and Rule #2 says that any grand opening of a new building has to take place at just after midnight. And the mages guild will not even think about starting to build those teleporters unless the builders guild has issued an official Mage's-Tower-2-Is-Done certificate. Stamped and in triplets.
So, you're itching to issue teleport construction. But you can't. You have to waste a day. You could do a short run, of course. But there is nowhere left to go that would not totally profit from teleporting most of the way. Of course, if you're less pedantic than me, feel free to waste that day and have the liberty of doing Divine II earlier. Gives you more flexibility with the order of rankups and claims.
By the way: Divine III/60 also unlocks the Magister on the next day. Same deal with the claims and the town upgrades. On the next day. Dont let that screw things up for you.
Appendix 2: Artesian quest synergies available because of teleporters

• Sharel (North Narlmarches):

1. Teleport to start the questline, i.e. get the Innocence quest
2. Teleport to free him (I may be the absolute ruler of a medieval fantasy realm, but without that letter I can NOT just have him set free. Oh no)
3. Teleport to Narlmarches for First Poachers run: poachers random encounter for Sharel, chase off the drunk Fey for Kimo, get the Inubrix for Varrask, 1st chance to kill a unicorn for Irlene. To have eveything at that stage is hard/impossible/huge-waste-of-time without teleporters.
4. Teleport to Narlmarches for Second Poachers run: kill Morhalan for Sharel, talk to Nymph for Kimo, get Inubrix for Varrask unless already done, 2nd chance to kill a unicorn for Irlene. To be fair, the second poacher run teleport comes a lot later, so I cannot really claim that as a benefit of my rush scheme.

• Kimo (North Narlmarches):

1. Teleport to get the Rare Bog Flower quest
2. Get that flower on the Linzi/Tristian run because now I know I need it
3. Deliver it by teleport
4. Have the Sweet Teeth weed the Narlmarches to get an emerald necklace (this can/should already be done way earlier)
5. Deliver it by teleport
6. First Poachers run (see Sharel)
7. Second Poacher run (see Sharel)
8. Deliver good news by teleport

• Bokken (Outskirts, but at Olegs rather than the Outskirts settlement)

1. Second run should coincide with Valerie and Jaethal quests and buying Oleg's Onslaught piece
2. Onslaught can be retrieved on the third run if I know it was stolen again

• Dragn (South Narlmarches):

1. Visit him on the Lost Child run and buy Onslaught piece in Secluded lodge on the same run. Thats is why the Lost Child run needs to be counterclockwise around the lake.
2. Buy Oleg's Onslaught piece on the second Bokken run, third piece is in the capital at Hassuf's
3. Deliver Onslaught in a special South Narl Artesian run. I need to fucking walk there so that Onslaught will be stolen before the third Bokken run.^{That is the only time I ever walk to visit a settlement just to advance an artesian quest. Having to do that on foot - through wet forests and swamps - offends me aesthetically. But I see no way around that.}
4. Get news of Onslaught being stolen (for once, an artesian will tell you in the throne room rather than have you visit and then tell you)
5. Retrieve Onslaught in the 3rd Bokken run
6. Deliver Onslaught by teleport

• Shaniyh'a (South Narlmarches):

1. Visit her on the Lost Child run
2. Report Hassufs reaction in a special South Narl Artesian run. Could be done later by teleport, but I am here anyway because of Dragn.
3. Then zap, zap, zap all by teleport

• Varrask (Kamelands):

1. Teleport to start his quest
2. First or second Poachers run: Get the Inubrix
3. Deliver Inubrix by teleport
4. Kill his 'witch' by teleporting to Kamelands and walk from there (that and closeness to Brineheart is why I place the Kamelands settlement in the south. A northern spot is only good to speed up the Goblin run in Act 3)

• Nazrielle (Kamelands):

1. Teleport to start her quest
2. Teleport back and get news of cursed sword in throne room (its funny how fast she and that messenger are, its been like 5 seconds since I met Nazrielle)
3. Pick up cursed sword on the Linzi/Tristian run. It will now be in Gudrin Bridge which I have to pass anyway.
4. then zap, zap by teleport and done

• Mim (Silverstep):

1. Deliver emerald by teleport
2. Deliver booze by teleport (I delay that until the end of act 3 so that I can do Octavia/Reg quest on the way to Talon Peak)

• Irlene (Capitol, unlocked with getting the Magister):

1. Get to Dragonleaf Gulch faster by teleporting to Silverstep
2. Either Poacher run: chance to find a unicorn. There is also one to be found in Act 5 if you're holier than me and/or cant be arsed to save scum the encounter.

Appendix 3: My Act 2 runs I list these just in case somebody has doubts/questions about my timeline. Some details may also only work or work better because of something I did but of which I am unaware.
I know that my way of doing Troll Troubles that fast is hard/impossible without optimising xp in Act 1. It will just delay you a bit if that run takes you longer though.
Keep in mind that you can travel as long as you want completely exhausted. Whatever other guides may say, it does not slow you down as long as the party as a whole carries just light load. I abuse that a lot. Also, pets can still charge even if everybody is wrecked.

• Act 1: I optimize xp by staying 4 man group until lvl 5, then Old Sycamore downstairs with 4 people + cleric merc (Half Elf, Erastil, Ecclesitheurge, community+animal. Serves as my perception guy, has a pet and gets Guarded Hearth. Go suck on that, Harrim and Tristian). Then 6 people all the rest. I do mild save scumming to fish for random encounters throughout Act 1. I want to hit lvl 7 before Swamp Witches Hut. I get Lvl 6 in Stag Lord's map before even killing him. I kill everything that walks, slithers or floats that I can get to.Then I fuff about until 08:00 on the 12.5.4710 (see Appendix 0), then sleep, then end Act 1 at 16:00:01.
• Bokken Run 1

1. Prerequisites: Outskirts claimed
2. Rests: none
3. Just straight to Oleg's, recruit Bokken and back. Grab the resource north of the capitol on the way back.

• Troll Run:

1. Prerequisites: Eight Legged Plage event
2. My extra condition: take Harrim and Amiri to do their quests (I think Amiri will magically appear there if she is not in your party, but she can wield that acid axe to kill trolls, so that earns her the ticket)
3. Rests: one, yeah, just one. I am micro-optimising though. Even if you do four, that will just cost you a day all in all.
4. Bald Hilltop, Fort across Skunk River (recruit Jublinost), Overgrown Pool, Ruined Watchtower (recruit Eku), Random encounter: Dalton, Bandit Camp, Lone House (yeah getting there this early forfeits the Black Whip quest), Kobold Trail, Kobold Camp, finally a rest* + Swamp Witch's Hut**, Dwarven Ruins***, Hodag Lair****, Verdant Chambers (3rd book for Bokken, save scum that big trap), Overgrown Pool and back home completely exhausted.I skipped Monster Den and Troll Clearing. ^\cook Galt Ragout to have Amiri fit for the Hodag, I get Lvl 7 before this rest, helps a lot with the fights in Swamp Witch's Hut **I skipped the owlbears, they're too tough or would eat too many skeletons/buffs I need that day, killed everything else ***Lvl 8 after killing the troll king **** have Amiri wear some CON belt when traveling from Swamp Witch's hut until now, you want her in a fit state)

• Lost Child Run

1. Prerequisites: have the the quest, obviously
2. My extra condition: South Narlmarches claimed
3. Rests: zero or one, depends
4. Lone House (recruit Delgado), Arcane resource, South Narl Settlement (start Shaniyh'a quest, get Onslaught quest), Lizardfolk village, Secluded Lodge (buy Onslaught piece) + optional rest, Optional: (Empty Skull Rock, Wolf Lair, Mud Bowl), Bridge over Gudrin (Crag Linnorm goes down with Guarded Hearth from cleric merc, Jublinost's bombs, Ekundayo, Resistance/Protection from fire and 1-2 casts of skeletons. Nobody goes near that thing, its scary), Optional: (Military resource).
5. The optional bits here can also be done on the Linzi/Tristian run. I prefer to do them now, but the timing of kingdom event cards determines if I need this run to be longer or shorter. If I dont do them now, there will be no rest on this run. Just takes another cast of skellies to kill that Linnorm while fatigued/exhausted. Guarded Hearth is awesome. All praise Erastil.

• Bokken Run 02:

1. Prerequisites: Have Bokkens books
2. My extra condition: Valerie and Jaethals quests have started, have Onslaught quest
3. Rest: none
4. Old Sycamore, Thorn River Bank, Oleg (deliver books, buy Onslaught piece, kick paladin ass: Grease + Guarded Hearth = over in 2-3 rounds, buffs are optional, crap gear is sufficient), optional: (culture resource).

The order of the next two runs may vary. I prefer to do the artesian run first, but kingdom event cards may necessitate Silverstep first. Either order will work.

• South Narlmarches Artesian Run:

1. Prerequisites: none
2. My extra condition: have all three Onslaught pieces
3. Rest: none
4. Just there and back again. Deliver Onslaught and Hassufs reaction to that letter. Optional: (solo the run and visit verdant chambers. I play Sylvan Sorc, so I can kill everything there solo while exhausted. But other classes might need either a rest or Heart of Ira to do that)

• Silverstep Run:

1. Prerequisites: none
2. My extra condition: be able to kill the golems easily (did I mention that Guarded Hearth is awesome? With that, even skellis can hit these dudes)
3. Rest: one
4. Lonely Barrow (Bokken book III is here too, but that comes too late for me), Community resource (grab it now, going back the long way around is faster because less mountains), Arbor Rock, Sorrowflow (recruit sisters), optional: (Economy resource), Rest + Ancient mine, Silverstep Village, Silverstep Grove, Optional: (Varnhold to get Heart of Ira, no extra rest for that), back home.

• Bokken Run 3:

1. Prequisites: Svetlana's letter
2. My extra condition: know that Onslaught is stolen again
3. Rests: none
4. Thorn Ford (retrieve Onslaught), Oleg's, Wererats, Optional: (Loyalty resource), Oleg's (beat Bokken fatigued/exhausted with the help of, you guessed it, Guarded Hearth. Have I praised Guarded Hearth enough yet? It'll also enable you to kill that optional demon gang in Vordekai's Tomb with just that, skeletons and minor buffs. Haste helps of course. If I ration my death wards well, a pet or two can also go in. But mostly its Eku and Jublinost who do the killing while eveybody hides behind the bone shields), back home.

This is where I get Teleporters and jump about to advance all artesian quests as far as possible

• Linzi/Tristian Run:

1. Prequisites: Linzi and Tristian quests
2. My extra condition: have bog Flower in the Swamp quest (teleport), Nazrielle's quest advanced to missing apprentice (teleport)
3. Rest: none or one
4. Bridge over Gudrin (get cursed Sword), Secret Sanctum, Optional: (Mud Bowl, Wolf Lair, Empty Skull Rock unless I did them before), Kameland Settlement (give sword to Nazrielle, I teleport dump Tristian back home), Optional: (Troll clearing, Monster Den), Swamp Witch (get printing press, kill Owlbears, get the rare bog flower), home via South Narl teleport.

• Lastly, there is the Candlemere run, but thats just there and back again. No synergies as far as I know.

Edit: Formatting

Maryam Safdar Nawaz Sharif should be the poster child of the term "medicority". Nothing about her stands out. She can't speak well publicly, she can't articulate her thoughts well and she can barely carry a conversation. Worse yet, she isn't really intelligent as she pretends to be.
Maryam Safdar passed her Matric in 1989 with 580/850 marks. Despite this, her father managed to get her illegally admitted to one of the best Intermediate College of Lahore, where merit was above 700 at that time.
Maryam Safdar passed her Intermediate in 1991 with 767/1100 marks and somehow got admission into Army Medical College, Rawalpindi on the seat of Chief of Army Staff. Within one month, she was migrated to King Edward Medical College, Lahore using the sources of her father Nawaz Sharif, who was serving as Prime Minister at that time.
Despite the silver spoon in her mouth, she was unable to clear her First Professional MBBS exam at King Edward Medical College and got a supply (failed) in Physiology.
The HoD of Physiology of that time, Prof. Dr. Rukhshanda Tareen refused to accept any pressure and detained Safdar for a year. However, her immediate transfer orders were issued and Maulvi Ikram was appointed as new HoD in her place, who passed Maryam Nawaz in the next Professional exam.
However, despite strings being pulled it appears she was upset all over this melodrama and left her MBBS uncompleted after few months.
Then comes the magistic entry of Capt Safdar.
Now she happily owns "Sharif Medical College" and claims that coffee drunk out of a mug with Nawaz Sharif’s photo on it “taste’s better”.
Cringe.

I can't believe that I've slept on this game for so long in my backlog. Holy crap. I'm kinda playing blind - just basically retreating to a Wiki whenever I feel like I've royally screwed something up. So if I sound oblivious to something, please forgive me.
In my playthrough, I've gone from thinking, "You know, I think these Magister people might not be all bad; they're just misguided!" to "Yeah, every single cloaked freak needs to die, and now, and preferably with fire."
I've entered the Blackpits, saved the family from being executed (with fire!), found that note on a corpse saying that the owner of the paper is an Inquisitor. I went to the gate, showed Magister Grimes, said hey, I'm an Inquisitor, and he says, yup, you're an Inquisitor. I went to rescue Gwydian (with fire!), then reloaded a previous save, then went to rescue Gwydian (with water!),and went back to the gates so I could see the family reunion.
Grimey let me through. No issues. Even though the battle would've totally been in his view. OK.
So I go back through the gates, but right away I run into a bunch more Magisters using my favorite element to try to kill some poor farmer in his basement. That won't do. So I kill them all, loot their corpses, the whole nine yards. And realize that, uh, oops, Grimes and his buddies are just *right there*. Like fifty yards away. Doing nothing. All they had to do was look up from their crossword puzzle.
I go back, expecting them to fight, or to say something. Nope. We're fine. They salute me. I rotate the camera 180 degrees. Sure enough, there's the smoldering remains of the house, Magister corpses decorating the front lawn like bloody, gruesome flamingoes.
What's this guy's deal? Am I just really lucky? Is it possible to blow my cover? Or, is it basically, there's screams and explosions everywhere and Grimey is just too wrapped up in his morning coffee to look up and go, "Oh, look, that inquisitor out of uniform is murdering magisters. Must be a Thursday."

Most are Xbox Game Pass games, however have a few standouts. Note that some of these games (Like FIFA) have a lot of progress on them. I am looking to TRADE ACCOUNTS, without full access. DM me if interested. This is the list:
7 Days to Die
A Plague Tale: Requiem
A Short Hike
Age of Empires Definitive Edition
Age of Empires II: Definitive Edition
Age of Empires III: Definitive Edition
Age of Empires IV
Airborne Kingdom
Alice: Madness Returns
Amazing Cultivation Simulator
Amnesia: Collection
Amnesia: Rebirth
Amnesia: The Bunker
Among Us
An Elder Scrolls Legend: Battlespire
Anvil
Arcade Paradise
Ark: Survival Evolved
Ark: Ultimate Survivor Edition
Arx Fatalis
As Dusk Falls
Ashes of the Singularity: Escalation
Assassin’s Creed Origins
Assassin’s Creed Odyssey
Astroneer
Atomic Heart
Back 4 Blood
BattleTech
Battletoads
Battlefield: 2042, 5 , 4 , 3, 2 and 1
Beacon Pines
Ben 10: Power Trip
BlazBlue Cross Tag Battle Special Edition
Bleeding Edge
Bramble: The Mountain King
Broforce Forever
Broken Age
Car Mechanic Simulator 2021
Cassette Beasts
Celeste
Chained Echoes
Chicory: A Colorful Tale
Chivarly 2
Cities: Skylines
Citizen Sleeper
Coffee Talk
Coffee Talk Episode 2: Hibiscus & Butterfly
Commandos 3
Common'hood
Cooking Simulator
Coral Island
Crackdown 3
Cricket 22
Crusader Kings III
Danganronpa V3: Killing Harmony
Darkest Dungeon
Day of the Tentacle Remastered
DC League of Super-Pets: The Adventures of Krypto and Ace
Dead by Daylight
Dead Cells
Death's Door
Deathloop
Deep Rock Galactic
Demon's Tilt
Descenders
Despot's Game
Dicey Dungeons
Dirt 5
Disc Room
Dishonored: Death of the Outsider
Dishonored Definitive Edition
Dishonored 2
Disney Dreamlight Valley: Founder’s Edition
Disneyland Adventures
DOOM (1993)
DOOM II
DOOM 3
DOOM 64
Doom Eternal
Dordogne
Dragon Quest XI S: Echoes of an Elusive Age - Definitive Edition
Dune: Spice Wars
Dyson Sphere Program
Eastern Exorcist
Eastward
Eiyuden Chronicle: Hundred Heroes (Coming 2023)
Eiyuden Chronicle: Rising
Embr
Escape Academy
Everspace 2
Eville
Exapunks
Exoprimal
Faeria
Fallout: New Vegas
Fallout: Tactics
Fallout
Fallout 2
Fallout 3
Fallout 4
Fallout 76
Far Cry 5
Fifa 23
F1 22
Farming Simulator 17
Farming Simulator 22
Farworld Pioneers
F.I.S.T.: Forged In Shadow Torch
Figment 2: Creed Valley
Football Manager 2020
Football Manager 2023
Football Manager 2023 Console
For Honor: Marching Fire Edition
Forager
Forza Horizon 4 Standard Edition
Forza Horizon 5
Frog Detective: The Entire Mystery
Frostpunk
Fuga: Melodies of Steel
Fuga: Melodies of Steel 2
Full Throttle Remastered
Galactic Civilizations III
Gang Beasts
Garden Story
Gears 5
Gears 5 Ultimate Edition
Gears of War 5
Gears of War: Ultimate Edition
Gears Tactics
Generation Zero
Genesis Noir
Ghost Recon Wildlands
Ghost Song
Ghostlore
Ghostwire: Tokyo
Golf With Your Friends
Grand Theft Auto V
Grim Fandango Remastered
Grounded
Guilty Gear Strive
Gunfire Reborn
Gungrave G.O.R.E
Halo 2: Anniversary
Halo 3
Halo 3: ODST
Halo Infinite
Halo Wars 2
Halo Wars 2: Standard Edition
Halo Wars: Definitive Edition
Halo: Combat Evolved Anniversary
Halo: Reach
Halo: Spartan Assault
Halo: Spartan Strike
Halo: The Master Chief Collection
Hardspace: Shipbreaker
Hatoful Boyfriend
Heave Ho
Hellblade: Senua's Sacrifice
Hello Neighbor 2
Hi-Fi Rush
High on Life
Hitman Trilogy
Hot Wheels Unleashed – Game of the Year Edition
Hollow Knight
Homestead Arcana
House Flipper
Human Fall Flat
Humankind
Hypnospace Outlaw
Immortal Realms: Vampire Wars
Immortality
Immortals Fenyx Rising
Infinite Guitars
Injustice 2
Inkulinati
Infinite Guitars
Inside
Insurgency: Sandstorm
Iron Harvest
It Takes Two
JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure All-Star Battle R
Jurassic World Evolution 2
Just Cause 4: Reloaded
Katana Zero
Kill It with Fire
Killer Instinct: Definitive Edition
Knockout City
Lapin
Last Call BBS
League of Legends
League of Legends: Wild Rift
Legends of Runeterra
LEGO Star Wars: The Skywalker Saga
Let's Build A Zoo
Limbo
Little Witch in the Woods
Lonely Mountains: Downhill
Loop Hero
Loot River
Lost in Random
Maquette
McPixel 3
MechWarrior 5: Mercenaries
Medieval Dynasty
Merge & Blade
Metal: Hellsinger
Microsoft Flight Simulator: Standard
Microsoft Solitaire Collection: Premium Edition
Middle-earth: Shadow of War
Minecraft: Java and Bedrock Editions
Minecraft Dungeons
Minecraft Legends
Monster Hunter Rise
Monster Sanctuary
Moonlighter
Moonscars
Mortal Kombat 11
MotoGP 22
Mount & Blade II: Bannerlord
Mutant Year Zero: Road to Eden
My Friend Pedro
My Friend Peppa Pig
My Time At Portia
Naraka: Bladepoint
Neon Abyss
Neoverse
New Super Lucky's Tale
Ni No Kuni Wrath of the White Witch Remastered
Ni no Kuni II: Revenant Kingdom – The Prince’s Edition
Ninja Gaiden: Master Collection
No Man's Sky
Norco
Nuclear Throne
Offworld Trading Company
Opus: Echo of Starsong
Opus Magnum
Ori and the Blind Forest: Definitive Edition
Ori and the Will of the Wisps
Outer Wilds
Outriders
Overcooked! 2
Overwhelm
Pac-Man Museum+
Paw Patrol Mighty Pups Save Adventure Bay
PAW Patrol Grand Prix
Pentiment
Persona 3 Portable
Persona 4 Golden
Persona 5 Royal
Phantom Abyss
Phoenix Point
Pikuniku
Pillars of Eternity: Hero Edition
Pillars of Eternity II: Deadfire - Ultimate Edition
Planet of Lana
Potion Craft
PowerWash Simulator
Prey
Prodeus
Psychonauts
Psychonauts 2
Quake 4
Quantum Break
Railway Empire 2
Rainbow Billy: The Curse of the Leviathan
Rainbow Six Siege
Rage 2
Ravenlok
ReCore
Redfall
Research and Destroy
Return to Castle Wolfenstein
Return to Monkey Island
Rise of Nations: Extended Edition
Roboquest
Rubber Bandits
Rune Factory 4 Special
Rush: A DisneyPixar Adventure
Scarlet Nexus
Scorn
ScourgeBringer
SD Gundam Battle Alliance
Sea of Thieves
Serious Sam: Siberian Mayhem
Shadow Warrior 3: Definitive Edition
Shadowrun Trilogy
Shenzen I/O
Shredders
Sid Meier’s Civilization VI
Signalis
Sins of a Solar Empire: Rebellion
Slay the Spire
Slayers X: Terminal Aftermath: Vengance of the Slayer
Slime Rancher 2
Soccer Story
Solasta: Crown of the Magister
Soma
Somerville
Sniper Elite 5
SnowRunner
Soul Hackers 2
Spacelines from the Far Out
SpiderHeck
Starbound
Stardew Valley
Starfield
State of Decay 2: Juggernaut Edition
Stellaris
Story of Seasons: Friends of Mineral Town
Stranded Deep
Subnautica
Surgeon Simulator 2
Sunset Overdrive
Super Lucky's tale
Super Mega Baseball 3
Superliminal
Supraland Six Inches Under
Sword and Fairy: Together Forever
Tainted Grail
Tales of Vesperia: Definitive Edition
Teamfight Tactics
Techtonica
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Shredder's Revenge
Tell Me Why
Tell Me Why: Chapter 2
Tell Me Why: Chapters 1-3
The Bard's Tale ARPG: Remastered and Resparkled
The Bard's Tale IV: Director's Cut
The Bard's Tale Trilogy
The Big Con
The Bookwalker
The Elder Scrolls Adventures: Redguard
The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind
The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion
The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim Special Edition
The Evil Within
The Evil Within 2
The Gunk
The Last Case of Benedict Fox
The Legend of Tianding
The Outer Worlds
The Pedestrian
The Walking Dead: A New Frontier – The Complete Season
The Walking Dead: Michonne – The Complete Season
The Walking Dead: The Complete First Season
The Walking Dead: Season Two
The Walking Dead: The Final Season
The Wandering Village
theHunter: Call of the Wild
This War of Mine: Final Cut
Tinykin
Toem
Torment: Tides of Numenera
Total War: Warhammer III
Totally Accurate Battle Simulator
Totally Reliable Delivery Service
Trailmakers
Train Sim World 3
Trek to Yomi
Tropico 6
Turbo Golf Racing
Turnip Boy Commits Tax Evasion
Turnip Boy Robs a Bank
Tunic
Unpacking
Valheim
Venba
Vampire Survivors
Wandersong
Warhammer 40,000: Darktide
Wasteland 2: Director's Cut
Wasteland 3
Wasteland Remastered
Watch Dogs 2
Weird West
Wo Long: Fallen Dynasty
Wolfenstein 3D
Wolfenstein: The New Order
Wolfenstein: The Old Blood
Wolfenstein: Youngblood
Wolfenstein II: The New Colossus
Wreckfest
Yakuza 0
Yakuza 6: The Song of Life
Yakuza Kiwami
Yakuza Kiwami 2
Yakuza: Like a Dragon
Yakuza Remastered Collection (Yakuza 3, Yakuza 4, Yakuza 5 Remasters)
You Suck at Parking
Zombie Army 4: Dead War
Zoo Tycoon: Ultimate Animal Collection

Most are Xbox Game Pass games, however have a few standouts. Note that some of these games (Like FIFA) have a lot of progress on them. This is the list:
7 Days to Die
A Plague Tale: Requiem
A Short Hike
Age of Empires Definitive Edition
Age of Empires II: Definitive Edition
Age of Empires III: Definitive Edition
Age of Empires IV
Airborne Kingdom
Alice: Madness Returns
Amazing Cultivation Simulator
Amnesia: Collection
Amnesia: Rebirth
Amnesia: The Bunker
Among Us
An Elder Scrolls Legend: Battlespire
Anvil
Arcade Paradise
Ark: Survival Evolved
Ark: Ultimate Survivor Edition
Arx Fatalis
As Dusk Falls
Ashes of the Singularity: Escalation
Assassin’s Creed Origins
Assassin’s Creed Odyssey
Astroneer
Atomic Heart
Back 4 Blood
BattleTech
Battletoads
Battlefield: 2042, 5 , 4 , 3, 2 and 1
Beacon Pines
Ben 10: Power Trip
BlazBlue Cross Tag Battle Special Edition
Bleeding Edge
Bramble: The Mountain King
Broforce Forever
Broken Age
Car Mechanic Simulator 2021
Cassette Beasts
Celeste
Chained Echoes
Chicory: A Colorful Tale
Chivarly 2
Cities: Skylines
Citizen Sleeper
Coffee Talk
Coffee Talk Episode 2: Hibiscus & Butterfly
Commandos 3
Common'hood
Cooking Simulator
Coral Island
Crackdown 3
Cricket 22
Crusader Kings III
Danganronpa V3: Killing Harmony
Darkest Dungeon
Day of the Tentacle Remastered
DC League of Super-Pets: The Adventures of Krypto and Ace
Dead by Daylight
Dead Cells
Death's Door
Deathloop
Deep Rock Galactic
Demon's Tilt
Descenders
Despot's Game
Dicey Dungeons
Dirt 5
Disc Room
Dishonored: Death of the Outsider
Dishonored Definitive Edition
Dishonored 2
Disney Dreamlight Valley: Founder’s Edition
Disneyland Adventures
DOOM (1993)
DOOM II
DOOM 3
DOOM 64
Doom Eternal
Dordogne
Dragon Quest XI S: Echoes of an Elusive Age - Definitive Edition
Dune: Spice Wars
Dyson Sphere Program
Eastern Exorcist
Eastward
Eiyuden Chronicle: Hundred Heroes (Coming 2023)
Eiyuden Chronicle: Rising
Embr
Escape Academy
Everspace 2
Eville
Exapunks
Exoprimal
Faeria
Fallout: New Vegas
Fallout: Tactics
Fallout
Fallout 2
Fallout 3
Fallout 4
Fallout 76
Far Cry 5
Fifa 23
F1 22
Farming Simulator 17
Farming Simulator 22
Farworld Pioneers
F.I.S.T.: Forged In Shadow Torch
Figment 2: Creed Valley
Football Manager 2020
Football Manager 2023
Football Manager 2023 Console
For Honor: Marching Fire Edition
Forager
Forza Horizon 4 Standard Edition
Forza Horizon 5
Frog Detective: The Entire Mystery
Frostpunk
Fuga: Melodies of Steel
Fuga: Melodies of Steel 2
Full Throttle Remastered
Galactic Civilizations III
Gang Beasts
Garden Story
Gears 5
Gears 5 Ultimate Edition
Gears of War 5
Gears of War: Ultimate Edition
Gears Tactics
Generation Zero
Genesis Noir
Ghost Recon Wildlands
Ghost Song
Ghostlore
Ghostwire: Tokyo
Golf With Your Friends
Grand Theft Auto V
Grim Fandango Remastered
Grounded
Guilty Gear Strive
Gunfire Reborn
Gungrave G.O.R.E
Halo 2: Anniversary
Halo 3
Halo 3: ODST
Halo Infinite
Halo Wars 2
Halo Wars 2: Standard Edition
Halo Wars: Definitive Edition
Halo: Combat Evolved Anniversary
Halo: Reach
Halo: Spartan Assault
Halo: Spartan Strike
Halo: The Master Chief Collection
Hardspace: Shipbreaker
Hatoful Boyfriend
Heave Ho
Hellblade: Senua's Sacrifice
Hello Neighbor 2
Hi-Fi Rush
High on Life
Hitman Trilogy
Hot Wheels Unleashed – Game of the Year Edition
Hollow Knight
Homestead Arcana
House Flipper
Human Fall Flat
Humankind
Hypnospace Outlaw
Immortal Realms: Vampire Wars
Immortality
Immortals Fenyx Rising
Infinite Guitars
Injustice 2
Inkulinati
Infinite Guitars
Inside
Insurgency: Sandstorm
Iron Harvest
It Takes Two
JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure All-Star Battle R
Jurassic World Evolution 2
Just Cause 4: Reloaded
Katana Zero
Kill It with Fire
Killer Instinct: Definitive Edition
Knockout City
Lapin
Last Call BBS
League of Legends
League of Legends: Wild Rift
Legends of Runeterra
LEGO Star Wars: The Skywalker Saga
Let's Build A Zoo
Limbo
Little Witch in the Woods
Lonely Mountains: Downhill
Loop Hero
Loot River
Lost in Random
Maquette
McPixel 3
MechWarrior 5: Mercenaries
Medieval Dynasty
Merge & Blade
Metal: Hellsinger
Microsoft Flight Simulator: Standard
Microsoft Solitaire Collection: Premium Edition
Middle-earth: Shadow of War
Minecraft: Java and Bedrock Editions
Minecraft Dungeons
Minecraft Legends
Monster Hunter Rise
Monster Sanctuary
Moonlighter
Moonscars
Mortal Kombat 11
MotoGP 22
Mount & Blade II: Bannerlord
Mutant Year Zero: Road to Eden
My Friend Pedro
My Friend Peppa Pig
My Time At Portia
Naraka: Bladepoint
Neon Abyss
Neoverse
New Super Lucky's Tale
Ni No Kuni Wrath of the White Witch Remastered
Ni no Kuni II: Revenant Kingdom – The Prince’s Edition
Ninja Gaiden: Master Collection
No Man's Sky
Norco
Nuclear Throne
Offworld Trading Company
Opus: Echo of Starsong
Opus Magnum
Ori and the Blind Forest: Definitive Edition
Ori and the Will of the Wisps
Outer Wilds
Outriders
Overcooked! 2
Overwhelm
Pac-Man Museum+
Paw Patrol Mighty Pups Save Adventure Bay
PAW Patrol Grand Prix
Pentiment
Persona 3 Portable
Persona 4 Golden
Persona 5 Royal
Phantom Abyss
Phoenix Point
Pikuniku
Pillars of Eternity: Hero Edition
Pillars of Eternity II: Deadfire - Ultimate Edition
Planet of Lana
Potion Craft
PowerWash Simulator
Prey
Prodeus
Psychonauts
Psychonauts 2
Quake 4
Quantum Break
Railway Empire 2
Rainbow Billy: The Curse of the Leviathan
Rainbow Six Siege
Rage 2
Ravenlok
ReCore
Redfall
Research and Destroy
Return to Castle Wolfenstein
Return to Monkey Island
Rise of Nations: Extended Edition
Roboquest
Rubber Bandits
Rune Factory 4 Special
Rush: A DisneyPixar Adventure
Scarlet Nexus
Scorn
ScourgeBringer
SD Gundam Battle Alliance
Sea of Thieves
Serious Sam: Siberian Mayhem
Shadow Warrior 3: Definitive Edition
Shadowrun Trilogy
Shenzen I/O
Shredders
Sid Meier’s Civilization VI
Signalis
Sins of a Solar Empire: Rebellion
Slay the Spire
Slayers X: Terminal Aftermath: Vengance of the Slayer
Slime Rancher 2
Soccer Story
Solasta: Crown of the Magister
Soma
Somerville
Sniper Elite 5
SnowRunner
Soul Hackers 2
Spacelines from the Far Out
SpiderHeck
Starbound
Stardew Valley
Starfield
State of Decay 2: Juggernaut Edition
Stellaris
Story of Seasons: Friends of Mineral Town
Stranded Deep
Subnautica
Surgeon Simulator 2
Sunset Overdrive
Super Lucky's tale
Super Mega Baseball 3
Superliminal
Supraland Six Inches Under
Sword and Fairy: Together Forever
Tainted Grail
Tales of Vesperia: Definitive Edition
Teamfight Tactics
Techtonica
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Shredder's Revenge
Tell Me Why
Tell Me Why: Chapter 2
Tell Me Why: Chapters 1-3
The Bard's Tale ARPG: Remastered and Resparkled
The Bard's Tale IV: Director's Cut
The Bard's Tale Trilogy
The Big Con
The Bookwalker
The Elder Scrolls Adventures: Redguard
The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind
The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion
The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim Special Edition
The Evil Within
The Evil Within 2
The Gunk
The Last Case of Benedict Fox
The Legend of Tianding
The Outer Worlds
The Pedestrian
The Walking Dead: A New Frontier – The Complete Season
The Walking Dead: Michonne – The Complete Season
The Walking Dead: The Complete First Season
The Walking Dead: Season Two
The Walking Dead: The Final Season
The Wandering Village
theHunter: Call of the Wild
This War of Mine: Final Cut
Tinykin
Toem
Torment: Tides of Numenera
Total War: Warhammer III
Totally Accurate Battle Simulator
Totally Reliable Delivery Service
Trailmakers
Train Sim World 3
Trek to Yomi
Tropico 6
Turbo Golf Racing
Turnip Boy Commits Tax Evasion
Turnip Boy Robs a Bank
Tunic
Unpacking
Valheim
Venba
Vampire Survivors
Wandersong
Warhammer 40,000: Darktide
Wasteland 2: Director's Cut
Wasteland 3
Wasteland Remastered
Watch Dogs 2
Weird West
Wo Long: Fallen Dynasty
Wolfenstein 3D
Wolfenstein: The New Order
Wolfenstein: The Old Blood
Wolfenstein: Youngblood
Wolfenstein II: The New Colossus
Wreckfest
Yakuza 0
Yakuza 6: The Song of Life
Yakuza Kiwami
Yakuza Kiwami 2
Yakuza: Like a Dragon
Yakuza Remastered Collection (Yakuza 3, Yakuza 4, Yakuza 5 Remasters)
You Suck at Parking
Zombie Army 4: Dead War
Zoo Tycoon: Ultimate Animal Collection

First of all, forgive me for my english mistakes.
I don't if foreigners have sites that offers lessons about Servants, but in Brazil we have a chaos site, a simple place that teach even how to "contract", about the Servant (like Galaxy/The Djinn here) and about how to ban the servant, etc
Well, guessing by my username, y'all already know what I asked to her. So, following the site instructions, I did what's was asked for. Saying out loud I WISH before writing every wish, make the prayer and sigil on the paper. After that, when its comes to realise the spirit we have to burn and let it go. I give her one month to complete my wish.
But, I'm a pro when Goetia is the topic (not practicing too much rn tho, I'm sick), and a noob when comes to Chaos Magick. My question itself is what happened during the "ritual": when I consecrate the paper of my wish (2 ou 3 times before writing) and made all I've asked for, here comes the fire.
Well, to banish The Djinn we have to burn the wish with her sigil. When i light the fire for the first time, it was windy, but I back off a little and tried again. To put simple, I had three stages of burning:
- An enormous flame ball (I have a finger burned, but now its healed) - An even more enormous black and orange ball - Finally, only ashes remains and the wind just blows it far away.
Remembering that I'm a noob about this topic, do I be happy or sad? I'm not sure if this the right way. I give her candy and coffee, draw her sigil in my body and me and my bestfriend began to use her mantra to greet each other. I do with faith, he i'm not sure if he's doing this just to boost my confidence.
The payment is on the way to be completed, but to be honest, as magist myself, I dont feel too much difference in my daily life. But, again, I'm based on my own beliefs and what I learned with the daemons. Perhaps six days its too early for her to show any results?
I mean: the paper almost burn my soul together, so its a good sign?

[ First / Previous / Next ]
​
Credit to u/Weithbec for assisting with editing
Transcription subject: Kanek, City Magister
Subject Kanek has opted out of posthumous brain scans, and has instead provided first-hand electronic journal entries. Kanek has provided a variety of recording material, including audio, video, and written entries that detail her time in office, as well as her personal life; metadata indicates many have been altered in some way, and the accuracy of such may be up to speculation.
Transcriptors note: Due to the accuracy of her accounts being dubious at best, the following entries may be regarded moreso as an anthology than a factual retelling of events. Additionally, entry dates are sorted by the date that the file was first created, and converted to fit the standard local times of the readers.
—----
Entry 13-11-2136-A
I am not too enthused about meeting Martha Blackfox in person, truth be told. Despite her role in the reconciliation between me and my mother following their meeting in the Venlil-Human Exchange Program, I have to admit that I have done little to help her in her endeavors out on the plains. The UN requests endlessly that I have their citizens return to their provided living quarters, but that goes against every promise I’ve made to the Human therapist. Besides, it’s not just Humans from Martha’s own tribes that have made the journey; the camp has doubled in size since its genesis and still more flock from other shelters to escape the perceived custody of the shelters.
This is nice and all, but it’s a serious spanner in the works for my re-election chances, to have Humans living in exile in some scrapwork ghetto out in the wild within my jurisdiction. The city population leans pro-Human, and it’s not a good look that I haven’t sent aid to assist in the Humans’ living quality. No electricity, no water, no roads to speak of.
I hope my visit to their abode will put into perspective how their living situation is, and I can look into diverting city resources to improve their lives. Perhaps Martha’s charming son will be there again.
—----
Entry 13-11-2136-B
Caught a meal at some Terran-Venlil blend cuisine restaurant, and I ate it on the drive over. I find myself surprised at the variety of ways that Humans serve their meals. Very salty, I think the menu mentioned something about it being ‘smoked’, whatever that means. It reminded me of my fears of what I’ll find in Martha’s little settlement; she assured me they could live off the rations I sent, but I’m concerned that they might be poaching the wildlife.
Saw Exterminators on the job earlier, they were floundering about trying to catch one of those ‘cats’ that has become a common sight in parts of the city. It does not bode well for my popularity with the Human populace to have their animals slaughtered on the streets, and the guild knows that. They will take any chance to undermine my efforts; any ordinance I pass, no matter how small, is met with blowback from them and their meager flock of supporters. If there comes a day where I can purge the Exterminator guild of every corrupt thug that works there, I’ll gladly take the opportunity.
—----
Entry 13-11-2136-C
Where do these specific anti-Human articles keep coming from? It's all the same shit that we've read before, no matter the arrangement of words. I may take the time to cross reference these articles with the archival data we have on Humanity from before first contact.
—----
Entry 13-11-2136-D
I hope that the Terran, Richard, I requested an audience with is there. I’d like to hear from him firsthand as to how he and his Venlil coworker have gotten so close without the assistance of the Exchange program. I’ve had my secretary watching their social media to little effect; neither of them are proactive on any platform.
Look at me, stalking strangers like prey. Maybe Haeun is right.
—----
Audio 13-11-2136-A
"Kanek here. I find myself being escorted around the grounds of Martha's campsite on some tour. Our first meeting wasn't as sappy as I feared it'd be, and I got to meet her children, including her son Michael, who I'd had the pleasure of meeting once before."
"The living conditions are certainly substandard, and their only saving grace as far as commodities goes is a shack where they keep a television and refrigerator, powered by solar panels that are nearly a decade past their warranty."
[Indecipherable talking]
"Oh no, I'm not sure I'm all that hungry, thanks though."
[More chatter]
“Fried bread…? I may take you up on that once I’m done with what I’m doing here.”
[Several minutes can be heard where only footsteps and sporadic conversation are audible]
"My greatest concern with these Humans is the strong anti-government sentiment that permeates through the entire encampment. Many of them are likely predator-diseased in some way, and I fear any number of them would be prime candidates for recruitment for Humanity First. A large portion do not seem to share heritage with the Blackfox matriarch, and a few answered her call for their distaste of the UN and aliens, not in some feeling of togetherness."
"According to Martha, a few of the occupants don't even have translator chips installed. Genetic diseases are prevalent among their population, and the implementation of a chip into their brain is seen as a major health risk; perhaps I could convince a Venlil language tutor to help with video lessons for them."
—----
Audio 13-11-2136-B
[Shuffling and background conversation are heard, music from a personal radio device is muddling audio.]
"Mr. Crow, it's a pleasure to make your acquaintance."
Crow: "[You too]*, likewise."
"So you must be wondering why I requested your presence? I apologize if it puts a damper on your plans, by the way."
Crow: "I am curious, yes. This week has given me the most people asking for me by name that I've had in a long time."
"Mmh. You've gotten a few moments of fame on social media for your fight, it comes with the territory. Care to answer a few questions?"
Crow: "I'd rather not divulge anything too personal, but shoot."
“I noticed the girl who calls you ‘uncle’, who is she?”
Crow: “Amber. Kid from Chippewa, no real relations to me. Her parents work in town, like myself, and she calls a bunch of different people a bunch of different titles. Martha is “Grammy”, Mercy is “Cousin”, Soo Won, who hangs out in the recreational shack, is “Mozzarella Man”.”
“Mozzarella?”
Crow: “Cheese.”
“Predator food.”
Crow: “Not meat, if you were concerned.”
“The idea of consumption of any animal products concerns me, Mr. Crow, because my administration is already convinced that I’ve allowed predators to hunt with impunity on Venlil dominion. I cannot and will not stop your group from consuming your predator food as you wish, but flouting about eating animal byproducts is not too good a look.”
Crow: “Well, I’m not her parents, so whatever problem you have with the names she doles out lies with them, not I.”
“Fair. Do you have any relatives that reside in this campsite?”
Crow: “None that can be traced. There’s plenty that came from my tribe, and my part of the States, but none with common ancestors that I could list off the top of my head.”
“Do you have any family living planetside?”
Crow: “Distant cousin living in the capital, but other than her, no. I’m the only one of my immediate family living on Venlil Prime.”
“Must be lonely.”
Crow: “There’s millions like me.”
“Finding mutuality in millions of strangers doesn’t bring you company in the here and now, no?”
Crow: “I’m no stranger to solitude, either.”
“Quite the departure from the social nature of Terrans. Are you familiar with the concept of ‘predator disease’?”
Crow: “Sounds like rabies.”
“I’ll need to look into what that is, but I’ll give you the long of the short: if you stick out in any way, if your behavior is contrary to the norm, or is believed to be a danger to the herd, you are ‘predator-diseased’. If you are seen as a danger to the public, or as one who does not contribute to it, you will be… dealt with.”
[8 seconds with no conversation]
Crow: “I don’t suppose that has anything to do with the re-education I’ve heard about…?”
“It absolutely does.”
Crow: “And you’re accusing me of being ‘predator-diseased’.”
“I’m simply noting that you’re not the brand of Terran the public is familiar with, but certainly the one they expect of a predatory species. You start fights, hunt as you please, and exhibit antisocial behavior. Slap on a tail and scales and one might call you an Arxur.”
Crow: “Let’s… move onto the next subject. I don’t presume it’s just my personal relations you’ve come here to ask.”
“Actually, I wanted to ask some of the people how living out here has been since you all answered Martha’s call that she put out.”
Crow: “Oh, it was miserable the first week. Most of us had no idea how to camp, let alone to survive in the wild, and so I and a few others were the ones setting things up. We dug latrines, scavenged the clusters of trees for wood, and set up the tents you sent us. Thanks for that, by the way.”
“I wouldn’t just leave you to freeze in the cold.”
Crow: “Would bode poorly for ratings, I suppose.”
“Being a politician doesn’t mean my every action stems from a PR outlook.”
Crow: “But I’m sure I wasn’t wrong.”
“No, you’re correct. And how bad would you say you find the issue with the water? The electricity? What about road accessibility?”
Crow: “Comparable to the rural living with my family back on Earth, but there’s people here who won’t last much longer without. Had instances of stomach bugs from the water when we first started out, and a lack of roads out this way means I have to rely on Mikey’s driving to get me into town, or otherwise bite the bullet and walk a whole claw to get to work.”
“‘Bite the bullet’. Quite the phrase. And do you think, hypothetically, if I were to have dirt roads installed, and a bridge constructed over the creek, that they would be of great benefit to your group out here?”
Crow: “The number of people who can drive as of this time are limited, since a lot of us used self-driving cars back home. It’d certainly be a long-term investment that’d be worthwhile, though, and before you ask, power lines would absolutely help."
"Without a shadow of a doubt. Well, Mr. Crow, I have more questions, but I'd prefer to ask you about them later, if you have the time; I'll be interviewing a few of the others who have opted in for talks."
Crow: "I'll be here."
\Subject has used the Venlil imperative term, implying one must perform an action as well, instead of a term for sharing similar feelings.*
—----
[Audio recordings C through E are missing from the logs, presumably deleted by Kanek at some point, or otherwise withheld.]
Entry 13-11-2136-F
“Martha, I should say 'Ma', it’s an honor to interview you.”
Blackfox: “The pleasure’s all mine, Kanek. It’s nice to sit and have a chat with you for the first time. How’s Gyeta?”
“Mom’s doing alright, she was heartbroken when you decided to leave, but won’t stop talking about you every chance she gets. Perhaps you could write to her more often?”
Blackfox: “I… was certain that she’d be bitter about my departure, since I left so suddenly. I hope she wasn’t too upset?”
“Mom is all too understanding of your choice, no matter how upset it made her. She misses the times where you’d be playing cards for hours on end, though.”
Blackfox: “I’m glad to hear. So were you here for any questions in particular?”
“Well, my biggest question was ‘what was it that drove you to wander out here and settle down on such desolate lands?' So let's start there."
Blackfox: "That's a long story that's maybe a little too boring to describe in detail."
"Give me the short version, then. Mom tells me you were discontent with the UN for years now, how about we begin with that?"
Blackfox: "It's true, I was raised to take pride in my heritage, despite the First Nations having no political leverage. My grandma was one of the last chiefs to run the Creek Nation before our joining of the Midwest Confederation, a conglomerate of the largest living nations still existing in the Great Plains. Together, we vied for political recognition from the United Nations, though it was moreso a formality to garner support than a genuine attempt to join their ranks. Naturally, we were rejected both times."
"And this experience embittered you to the governing body?"
Blackfox: "Hardly. There are many groups all across earth that had much the same struggle and petitioned for recognition from the UN, we were just one of the loudest. No, what I despise about the UN is their fear of alienating their feeble-minded 'allies' with the knowledge of Earth's cultural history… and the part I hate most is that I understand why they do it. Even before I came to Venlil Prime, many of us have been shackled by Or-..."
"...Yes? Shackled by…?"
Blackfox: "Uh… The point is, the UN's censorship of anything related to one's heritage is hogwash. And so, when I saw how many of us were evacuating to Venlil Prime, I decided to take action."
"That's when you posted your little video on social media, to rally those who shared a similar disdain for the UN's actions."
Blackfox: "Right, and it was the most poorly thought-out decision of my life. People took notice of the exodus right away, and those horrible articles showed up shortly after. The very heritage I take so much pride in has been spoken about the same way we once were over 200 years ago, like bloodthirsty savages."
"While there’s nothing I can do to deter free speech, you do have my condolences.”
Blackfox: “Thank you, Kanek. Even your mother was horrified when I told her about my heritage, but you… you aren’t in the least bit bothered. You came here of your own accord aided only by your driver to talk to us, and to offer support that we could never ask for after all you’ve done for us already. Before, the majority of our visitors were those cocksuckers from the guild coming to strongarm us back into the shelters, but lately we’ve been getting more welcoming company like you and… Oh what’s his name? He’s Richard’s friend, name sounds like ‘Lucas’.”
“Luka. Funny you should mention the name, as he’s the reason I requested Mr. Crow’s presence. I wouldn't have imagined he'd come all the way out here, though.”
Blackfox: “Why? Is this about his fight with that creep? It’s been a week, can’t we let bygones be bygones?”
“It’s only partially related to that. Rest assured, Martha, I have no interest in handing him over to Exterminators as of this time; it’s not like I quite see eye-to-eye with the guild to begin with.”
Blackfox: “Gyeta told me about your father, and the things that happened to him in those god-awful facilities. Remember, if you ever want to talk about it, you have my ear not only as a professional in psychology, but as a family friend.”
“Thank you, Martha. My time is running short, and while I haven’t exhausted every question I had in store, I wish to have a word with your Richard Crow before I head back to the office.”
Blackfox: “Don’t let me keep you, I won’t be going anywhere anytime soon, Little Sugar Bug.” “Mom told you about that name, then? Perhaps I was too hasty to make up with her.”
[Laugher, cut short by manual ending of recording.]
—----
Audio 13-11-2136-G
"So, your relationship with the boy, Luka. How close do you consider yourself to be with him?"
Crow: "Well, we only met less than two weeks ago, so I hesitate to say we're too much more than amicable coworkers; he just randomly showed up out here one day and displayed concern for my well-being, despite him being the one who got his clock cleaned."
"...his clock got what now?"
Crow: "Figure of speech. Anyway, we've not had much of an opportunity to hang out beyond spending a few hours roaming around town last nigh-... paw, last paw. Request from a mutual associate."
"I see, I see."
Crow: "Why? Why are you so concerned with him?"
"It's only curious to me that a Venlil and a Human bonded so quickly without the acclimation of the exchange program. With time, I'm sure more cases like you two will come up, but you two just worked together one day and were suddenly friends?"
Crow: "We Humans consider fights a bonding experience in some cases."
[Claws tapping on a screen can be faintly heard… 7 seconds of relative silence.]
"I'm assuming, then, that he hasn't shared his and his sister’s status as 'wanted for detainment' then?"
[Further 12 seconds of silence, recording is cut short after radio volume increases, making transcription impossible; this action is presumed to be to hide talk from prying ears.]
—----
Entry 14-11-2136-A
Coffee, good stuff. Likely to be prohibited should it be deemed a narcotic, however unlikely that is. My secretary says she has it served "cold pressed". Need to get a machine for my own office.
—----
Entry 15-11-2136-B
Recieved news that the twilight storms in the mountain passes have already begun to tear up the area, several Venlil citizens who were making their pilgrimages to or from the dark side of the planet have already been reported dead or missing.
My sister is a Follower of the Stars, I hope she didn't choose this cycle to cross the horizon, the fool.
—----
Entry 15-11-2136-C
Venda got herself lost in the mountains. Mom told me she was supposed to be back home by now. She and I never saw eye to eye, but I struggle to come to terms with the idea that the next I see of her will be in a casket. The coffee isn't helping my nerves, and Justice Magister Gatyu pointed out that I've been pacing in my office like a trapped animal.
I guess that's the best description for how I feel at this time.
—----
Entry 16-11-2136-A
I spoke with Martha about my grievances, and she invited me back to her campgrounds. I've been so perturbed that I can't work properly anyway, so I took her up on her offer, and had my driver take me back.
There was some sort of dance going on, and nearly the entire camp was gathered around the tiny gazebo in the middle of the field. The Humans were howling and dancing strangely around the fire, beating at some makeshift drums. Martha told me they were practicing old traditions, and the foreigners who were among their population were welcomed to participate in their ceremonies; apparently this was rare back on Earth as her tribes often kept their ceremonies away from public eyes.
I spoke about the overwhelming feeling of helplessness that I was experiencing, and I wanted her to weigh in on how I could cope with my grief. Instead of more heartfelt conversation, though, she interrogated me about the severity of the storms, and when they may let up.
I explained what the meteorologist reports told us, that the storms would be on and off for the remainder of the season; my sister would be dead up there before the snows end. Everyone else that was trapped up there too would meet a similar fate.
Martha didn't seem fazed, and instead walked up to the center of the ceremony, demanding the attendees' attention. She then explained my conundrum to the masses, and they listened without a word. I could hardly believe what I heard next:
She requested volunteers for hunting parties!
There were dozens of volunteers who would brave the cold and treacherous route to find these strangers, raising their hands without hesitation. Now, they plot to send these hunters into the mountains to ready up before the next break in the storm, and promise to bring as many of the lost home as they can possibly manage.
Even worse than that, is that I have given them my blessing.
Predators hunting in my own jurisdiction, who ever needed a popular vote anyway?
—----
Entry 17-11-2136-A
The Federation pre-contact archival data I requisitioned is a match word-for-word with what many of these articles smearing Martha's tribe say. Tracking down who all has accessed this specific data will be a chore, but I get the feeling it has to do with the upcoming election campaign. Luckily, the geotags on the naysayers' media posts indicates nearly all of them are local, so it won't be too hard to find if these fuckers are in the pocket of the Guild.
Stars help me, this city will be the death of me.
—----
Entry 17-11-2136-B
Coffee with salt? No, coffee with sugar. I should try 'chai' next.
-------
It's been a month and a half overdue, but we're back. Sorry for wicking out on you guys so suddenly, but I hope to get back into the groove of things real soon, and for my first chapter back, wanted to create a chapter that's a departure from the usual "Memory Transcript Subject" we do.
Expect uploads for the foreseeable future, though much more spaced out than when I first began.
Yung Shady out.
[ First / Previous / Next ]

Hi fellow coffee enthusiasts. So I have enjoyed getting into making espresso at home with the sage barista pro this year. Had a problem with the grinder which resulted in a full refund. This means that I am now machine-less.
I’m currently deciding on what setup to get. Because of many problems with the barista pro grinder I’ve recently been negatively biased against home espresso setups (frustration and effort). I also know that I loved it when the machine was working well.
Now, I probably want to get an eureka mignon specialita grinder. Still deciding on what to pair it up with. It’s probably about taste potential vs convenience and machine reliability:

• I can buy a used revised e61 machine, but the warm up time and resulting inability for a ‘spontaneous coffee’ that’s not planned with a smart switch still hold me back. I know the machines and group head are more reliable than e.g. sage (options are e.g. vibiemme domobar, isomac millennium, ECM Cellini, magister Stella, BFC junior, Rioba)
  
• sage/ breville bambino (plus): + quick heat up time, - experiences of low temperature of espresso shorts
  

-sage/ breville dual boiler: + dual boiler, warm up time, temperature control and PID - price, long-term reliability?
Any thoughts or other recommendations here? I’m a bit overwhelmed and want to get back into making espresso at home, but it would also be nice to not have to wait for at least 15 minutes every time I want to make an espresso. Thanks!

I have a bunch of games I wanna try to play on the PC, some will definitely require my full attention, like rhythm games. I would love to know some that aren't like that though, if anyone could please share
I do have a full list of the games that were interesting to me, if you have time to look through it thank you, if not feel free to just say some of your favs regardless of if they are on the list or not <3 it might be cool to list your favs anyway in case someone else has this question
Broken into groups so it isn't a giant wall of text

I just put a table	here as a	line break

As Dusk Falls, Beacon Pines, Besiege, Chained Echoes, Citizen Sleeper
Coffee Talk Episode 2: Hibiscus & Butterfly, Death's Door, Disc Room, DJMAX RESPECT V, Eastern Exorcist
Eiyuden Chronicle: Rising, Escape Academy, Exo One, Expeditions: Rome, EVERSPACE™ 2
Frog Detective 3: Corruption at Cowboy County, Fuga: Melodies of Steel, Fuga: Melodies of Steel 2, Garden Story, Ghost Song
Ghostlore, Hellblade: Senua's Sacrifice, Hi-Fi RUSH, High On Life, Immortals Fenyx Rising
INFINITE GUITARS, Let's Build a Zoo, Metal: Hellsinger, Midnight Fight Express, New Super Lucky's Tale
NINJA GAIDEN: Master Collection, Olija, OMORI, OPUS: Echo of Starsong - Full Bloom Edition, OVERWHELM
Pentiment, Planet of Lana, Potion Craft: Alchemist Simulator, Quantum Break, Rainbow Billy: The Curse of the Leviathan
Solasta: Crown of the Magister, Sunset Overdrive, Tainted Grail: Conquest, The Legend of Tianding, Tunic, Weird West: Definitive Edition

Hi everyone.
To Kill a Predator is a work of fan fiction set in the Nature of Predators universe originally created by SpacePaladin15 whose Patreon you should subscribe to.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental. Depiction does not equal endorsement.
Hope you enjoy it!
[First] [Previous]
---
Memory transcription subject: Martin Russo, Human Refugee
Date [standardized human time]: January 10th, 2137
​
Without the girls, life settles into a boring rut. I talk to them as much as I can on the pad, but they’re busy on Earth, hitting the ground running.
There’s been a lot of ground to cover before they’re caught up to where everyone else will be, particularly for Vilek. She’s often had to pull double-claws of studying, working her fluffy ass off to gain a baseline understanding of psychology in record time. Thiva’s classes on VP by contrast have prepared her well for humanity’s relatively simple technology.
That, and they’ve had to get used to Earth. Earth food, Earth culture, and a planet full of omnivores with forward-facing eyes. I’ve been doing what little I can to help coach and encourage them.
For my own part I’ve been restless. Given that I’m not able to look for a job yet, that physical therapy kicks my ass every other paw, and that I’ve got nothing to do other than look forward to a half-hour of chatting with my friends… I’ve started up on software again. It’s something I can do even while laying prone. Particularly since I have a way to write without using my hands.
What do I do with that, anyway? I can read minds. I can even use the raw data from a full brain scan to extract memories. There’s got to be something useful to do with this. It’s practically the only part of this entire debacle I haven’t bothered telling the UN about.
Honestly after what I’ve been through, I can’t imagine trusting them, or the Venlil government, with this. Bastards would be prosecuting thought-crime by the end of the week.
​
Jarkim’s opened his business a couple of weeks back. Without an actual office, since he plans to simply operate out of Slavik’s farm. As I understand they tolerate it as long as he also helps out in return for food and board. I hope the arrangement works out for the both of them.
I gave Jarkim some help with his online presence. He wasn’t initially sure about the black and white picture of him in a fedora and a tie, or about the business name “Jarkim Krakotl, Private Eye”. But as soon as humans heard about Venlil Prime’s only Krakotl detective they’ve ended up coming to him with their problems.
He sent me a picture of his first solved case, some runaway kid who got lost and reunited with her mother. He was still wearing the hat. No tie, though.
​
Today is my paw off from Chasa’s torments, and it coincides with the launch of another exciting new business venture. So I take the time to visit Mosun.
“Hey Martin! Hold on a minute!” I see the Yotul wrangling a bunch of foam mats around the large, empty room. And its wall-length mirror. Fittingly the place look like the midway point between a dance studio and a martial arts dojo, except for the soft and spongy floor. It’s meant to safeguard against falls.
I glance around the room while he huffs and plops the last few ones down. There’s perhaps thirty-five or forty foam mats scattered on the floor. “So are you being optimistic, or did you get a good reception?”
He looks at me, bouncing with excitement. Though his ears signal a bit of nervousness. “Five Yotul have signed up so far! That’s almost half the Yotul in the entire town! And almost twenty humans! Hanya’s bringing a couple of Gojid friends too, and we’ve got a few Venlil coming along with their humans… Oh, and an Iftali, that was a surprise. Honestly I may be a little in over my head here; I’ve never taught crowds before! I’m not even sure how much will translate across species!”
“So you’ll be learning on the job. I have complete faith in you. Are the Exterminators going to give you any trouble?”
He barks a laugh. “Hah! No, Jarkim had a talk with the magister. I got permission from Vaska’s office to teach the classes in the name of cultural preservation, so those motherfuckers can’t touch me!”
I laugh as well. “You might need to censor your language a bit as a teacher.”
“Combat Dancing is about honesty and expression, Martin. If I can’t live it, how am I supposed to teach it?”
Well, he got me there. “Anything I can do to help?”
He glances at me, his voice gets a little uncomfortable. “Um, I don’t know. Can you carry heavy stuff right now?”
I shrug. “Probably not, no.”
“Then I’ll be fine. You’re not interested in taking the class?”
​
“I think my dancing days are over, for the foreseeable future.” I wryly lift my cane and wave it as a small reminder. It’s wood, and I’m quite fond of it. Chasa found a Venlil craftsman who wanted to be the first to make one for a human, and he made it out of the wood of some kind of tree called Lampan. The color reminds me of mahogany.
His ears droop a bit. “Ah yeah. How permanent is that looking?”
I shrug. “Finger dexterity on the right hand’s likely never going to be the same, but I’ll be able to play video games. Left arm should recover enough for daily use. Leg should get a full range of motion, but I won’t be going jogging. Thankfully I look dignified with a cane.”
He wags his tail teasingly and cocks his head as he regards me. “Do you? …Must be a human thing.”
“Piss off. Mind if I sit in on the class?”
“Of course not!”
Turns out first class of Yotul Combat Dancing is a quick demonstration, and then Mosun talking to the quite large and varied crowd. He talks about the history and cultural significance of Combat Dances to the Yotul, the philosophical underpinnings of the artform, and the mentality to be cultivated in practitioners.
Everyone is listening with rapt attention, and a few of the humans are even taking notes. When he opens the floor for questions, a Venlil asks “Isn’t this an expression of Predator Disease?”
To which Mosun answers “No. Next question?”
Which is honestly as much of a response as that warrants.
I talk with Hanya briefly after the class. She says that she’s been diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and that human therapy is helping her out. She even talks excitedly about piloting shuttles again, someday soon. I’m glad for her.
​
Once I get back to the house, there’s a man in a suit waiting for me. He’s tall, bald, and has very dark skin. I don’t recognize him. He extends his hand toward me, and I shake it. He speaks English with an African accent, instead of letting the translator handle it. I’d guess western Africa, but I’m hardly an expert. “Bamidele Adeyemi.”
“Martin Russo. Can I help you?”
He indicates the door. “May I come in?”
“Sure. My Venlil hosts aren’t home right now.”
“Of course.”
Once he’s been let in, and I’ve given him something to drink, I wait patiently for him to explain his presence.
“I am the UN liason to the district magister’s office.”
I keep my tone neutral and politely curious. “What happened to Robert McGinley?”
He keeps his tone neutral too, but friendly. He smiles at me. “It was decided that he should be replaced.”
Oh no. Anyway. “Alright. But… No offense mister Adeyemi, but why are you here?”
​
He takes out a pad. “I have some documents that the UN and the District Magister would like you to sign.”
I sigh inwardly and make a quite heroic effort to not sigh outwardly. I look at the pad briefly anyway. As I expected, it’s about making myself legally liable should I speak up about what I’ve gone through. “I’m afraid you are wasting your time. McGinley told me to sign papers like this too, and I told him ‘no’.”
He nods, entirely unsurprised. “I understand you signed similar documents over a smaller… altercation with the Exterminators. Why the difference of response, if I may ask?”
“Because the first time he threatened to have me thrown out of the refugee center if I didn’t.”
Bamidele’s eyes widen briefly. “I see. That does explain why you told him to ‘fuck off’.”
“Yes.” I pause briefly. “…You’ve been polite enough that I don’t want to use the same language. But.”
He laughs briefly. “Haha, yes, I understand. Different circumstances, yes? My predecessor tried the stick. I am here to try the carrot. So tell me, mister Russo, what will it take for you to sign?”
“There’s nothing that…” I pause.
I sit down. I’m briefly quiet. I miss my friends so goddamn much. I swallow, mouth feeling dry as I tentatively reach for the proffered lifeline. “I… hear Sweden’s lovely this time of year.”
He flashes his teeth at me in a broad smile and chuckles pleasantly. “Hehe, I thought you might say that. But… You do realize it is January?”
​
​
Date [standardized human time]: January 12th, 2137
​
The thought of leaving this wretched planet and its wretched food and its wretched government and its wretched ever-present sun makes me feel like I’m already back in Earth’s lighter gravity.
I ended up paying Chasa back for all the pain and suffering she inflicted on me: The largest gift basket I could find online, filled with fruits, candies, and preserves of both Zurulian and human origin.
When I wake up at the start of the paw, my arch-nemesis has sent me two pictures. The first one is a schedule to keep for the next couple of months. In the second picture she’s put pillows and blankets in the basket and is using it as a bed, a paw raised in goodbye.
If the medi-teddies ever learn to weaponize their cuteness, humanity is in real trouble.
Packing is easy. I don’t have a lot. A band shirt from when I went to see ‘Where Angels Fear’, a few bad sketches of fruit, my dad's chess set, my pad, and a neural scanner.
​
Date [standardized human time]: January 13th, 2137
​
The space flight actually lands directly in Sweden, somewhere north of the polar circle at a place called Esrange. I immediately realize that winter’s back on the menu, as the cold makes my left leg and arm ache like hell. It’s the dead of night, too… But I’ve missed night. So has everyone else, as despite the cold people are walking straight out into the snow to just stare up into the starry sky and stare in open awe at the sky, where the stars form a backdrop for the northern lights. I join them.
A poetic whimsy falls over me, making me grin at the cheesiness. It’s like the sky itself is welcoming us back home.
From Esrange we take cars to Kiruna, Sweden’s northernmost city. From there it’s a long train ride south. I’ve gotten a sleeper cabin. With the generous stipend from the UN, I have no need to scrimp.
Even so, it takes significantly longer to travel 1400 kilometers across Sweden than it did to travel 16 light-years from Gliese 832. I’ve got almost twenty hours to appreciate the irony.
​
Date [standardized human time]: January 14th, 2137
​
I’m met at the train station in Lund by a man holding a sign with my name on it. His car takes me directly to the university. Everything feels very… ordinary, except I’m a bit dazed at having so many humans around me again.
We arrive a little before 8 in the morning. Excited students scurry to and fro, eager and hopeful for the first day of spring term. The driver is named Markus, and very kindly helps me find my way to my meeting. I’m left outside a door, standing around awkwardly.
The man I’m meeting with is Jonas Falck, and he’s the head of the department of computer science. While the UN has ‘encouraged’ the university to take me in despite it being so close to the term start, the decision remains with him.
I really wanted to see the girls first, but the meeting time was set for me. I desperately wish I had thought to shave beforehand. I’ve been using my beard to hide my weak chin, but it probably looks more unprofessional than-
“Hey, are you Martin Russo?”
Ah, I see.
Mister Falck is holding two cups of coffee and offers one of them to me with a smile. He’s got a full beard, a full belly, hair past his shoulders, and a pink hawaiian shirt to go with his khaki shorts and flip-flops. This man is clearly one of the most talented professionals working in the field today.
​
“So, do you mind if I ask…” He motions to my cane while I take a seat.
“How that happened?”
“Yes.”
“That’s classified. I’m not even joking.”
He nods once, like that was more or less what he expected to hear. He leans back in his chair, which creaks a bit, and takes a slow drink from his coffee while reading on his computer. “So you studied at Columbia University before the Bombing?”
“Yes.”
“And your family lived in New York?”
“Yes.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.” He doesn’t say it unkindly, but he does say it as rote. ‘Oh you’re from one of the places that doesn’t exist anymore? Sorry to hear that.’
I nod awkwardly. “Yes.”
“And you were focusing on studying brain-computer interfacing?”
I feel like a recording. “Yes.”
“It’s very uncommon to add a student this late. The term begins today.”
“Yes.”
“We can’t provide housing for you on such a short notice, for one.”
“I have that handled, sir.”
He scrunches his face up. “Jonas, please. Americans are so formal.”
“Alright, er, Jonas.”
“So, Martin, what I’m asking for is a reason. To take you in right now, I mean, instead of next year.”
I nod. This is thankfully something I had planned for. My hand slips into my pocket, fingering the box holding the scanner electrodes. “Well, Jonas… I think there’s something you should take a look at.”
​
Handling paperwork and basic orientation takes most of the morning. I manage to get morning-and-evening classes to share my time off with the lambchops. That only works because most people don’t want evening classes. Evenings are for partying if you’re a student, so late classes are mostly for adults with jobs.
I end up standing around nervously by the entrance to the university building, counting down the time. I watch people passing by as calmly as I can, still checking my pad every minute or so for any messages and jerking my head around like a bird at anything that’s even a bit of a shade of gray.
I can tell the alien girls are coming even before I see them, since everyone is glancing curiously their way. I straighten my back and shift my weight from foot to foot. I feel like a dog at an airport, waiting for the return of its owner.
They’re looking around as I see them, and Thiva’s the first to spot me. Her ears perk up and Vilek immediately looks to me as well. As they speed up into a sprint, I’m a bit surprised to see them both wearing clothes. Both girls are wearing custom boots made to fit their digitigrade legs.
They’re both wearing coveralls, Vilek’s in a hospital teal and Thiva’s in a bright red. It’s been explained to me that many at the university have a student culture of wearing colorful coveralls that they decorate with patches, called ‘Ovve’, and that Thiva’s red marks her as a mechanical engineering student. Vileks’s teal, presumably, mark her as studying healthcare. Or specifically therapy, perhaps. I need to look it up.
Seeing as computer science students are apparently expected to wear pink ones, I’m thinking I might sit out this grand and colorful tradition. On the other hand according to the Internet it’s an informal rule to cut a bit from the ‘Ovve’ of anyone you’ve exchanged body fluids with and patch it onto your own. So I suppose I could be convinced.
The girls collide with me, thankfully gently. Their tails are wagging like crazy out of the back of their outfits, and they’re clinging to me. I inhale deeply, take in the distinct and pleasant scent of my cute Venlil friends, and cling to them as well. My fingers stroke through their thick fur, and I hear their happy wordless bleating and whistling.
I close my eyes and enjoy the moment, not giving one whit for the passersby watching the scene.
“Oh, girls, I-” Vilek punches me in the arm unexpectedly. The right one, thankfully.
“Ow!”
Even though her ears signal joy and her tail is wagging, her voice is still stern. “We learned what ‘lambchops’ means!”
Ah.
​
The student flat isn’t very expansive, but it’s larger than the one we shared on Venlil Prime. Probably because humans are just plain larger.
It’s currently sparsely furnished. There’s a couple of desks, a couch, a table, a beanbag chair, and a bunk bed. I take my shoes off in the hallway, as the girls do. When in Lund.
They help me unpack. There’s not a lot, but they had already set aside a little corner for me. I’ve got the beanbag chair instead of a desk, which I’m perfectly fine with.
I sigh and lean against a wall briefly. “I’m… so glad to be home.”
Thiva turns her head a little, flicking an ear in question. “You missed being on Earth?”
I chuckle, and pinch her ear-tip lightly. I lean over to give Vilek one too, for fairness. It earns me a pair of bleeps from them, and I go on the offensive to rub their heads and scratch their ears and do everything I can to make the lambchops squeal happily. They thankfully oblige. “I missed being with my herd.”
My friends are safe, they’re here with me, and we all have paths forward. I’ve fought and bled for this opportunity. I’m allowed to enjoy it.
I sit down on the couch with a quiet groan of satisfaction, finally getting to put my cane aside. “So, girls… how are you feeling about Earth so far?”
They grumble immediately. “It is so freaking cold!” “Snow! We do not like the snow!”
“It’s only for another couple of… Months.” They’re undressing right in front of me. I am left briefly stunned.
Oh right they don’t normally wear clothes.
Reminding myself of that doesn’t help. The context is what it is. They’re my best friends and my two favorite girls and they’re stripping naked before me.
My brain fails me. “…Okay, so, uhh. Um. Hmmh. Huh.”
Mother of God there’s nothing different! They’re naked. They’re always naked! It hasn’t been a problem on VP, it won’t be a problem here! Man up!
I take a deep and steadying breath and resolutely refuse to think of patches of white and red on a set of pink coveralls, with pink patches on their matching ones.
“I guess we should… buy some food? And some clothes for me to use? And…”
And they turn their heads toward me, staring at me with one eye each. Side by side. Making me feel like I'm being stared down by a single creature. One with forward-facing eyes. And an orange blush.
They take slow steps closer. Thiva speaks first with an amused lilt to her voice. “Or maybe this is a good time to talk. You know, about the house rules.”
Vilek speaks as well, moving her tail sinuously in a teasing motion. “Relationship statuses.”
Thiva comes in with the finisher, practically purring. “Sleeping arrangements.”
Ah.
​
---
And that's the end! Thank you all so much for reading, and check the comments for a small request from yours truly!
[First] [Previous]

All the games I am selling are digital codes.
Xbox :

• Guilty Gear -Strive- Ultimate Edition 2022 : $40
• Horror Tale 1: Kidnapper : $5
• Monster Energy Supercross - The Official Videogame 6 : $35
• Zapling Bygone : $5
• Like a Dragon: Ishin! Digital Deluxe Edition : $38
• Marvel's Midnight Suns Digital+ Edition : $33
• FAR CRY 6: LOST BETWEEN WORLDS : $9
• Bumblebee - Little Bee Adventure : $6
• Aery - Path of Corruption : $6
• As Far As The Eye : $10
• Warp Drive : $14
• LEGO Star Wars: The Skywalker Saga Galactic Edition : $29
• Paper Flight - Speed Rush : $5
• Temple of Horror : $4
• PGA TOUR 2K23 Tiger Woods Edition : $37
• Paper Flight - Super Speed Dash : $5
• World of Outlaws: Dirt Racing Gold Edition : $19
• Ooblets : $14
• Aery - Vikings : $5
• The Tale of Bistun : $5
• Pathologic 2 + Marble Nest DLC Bundle : $6
• Rabbids: Party of Legends : $6
• Cursed Island : $3
• Hatsune Miku Jigsaw Puzzle : $6
• Strategic Mind: The Pacific : $7
• Spacelines from the Far Out : $6
• True Fear: Forsaken Souls - Part 2 : $4
• Aery - A New Frontier : $3
• Evasion From Hell : $3
• Richy's Nightmares : $3
• Kraken Academy : $5
• BouncyBoi in Puzzle Land : $5
• Richy's Nightmares : $2
• Time Loader : $3
• From Heaven To Earth : $2
• Tom Clancy’s Rainbow Six Extraction Deluxe Edition : $6
• Justice Chronicles : $6
• Aery - Dreamscape : $5
• In My Shadow : $5
• My Singing Monsters Playground : $8

​
PS4/PS5/PSVR2 (codes are NA - US region unless specified otherwise) :

• Ys IX: Monstrum Nox (PS5 - NA) : $40
• The Walking Dead: Saints & Sinners – Chapter 2: Retribution - Payback Edition (PSVR2 - NA) : $38
• Organ Quarter (PSVR2 - NA) : $17
• Another Fisherman's Tale (PSVR2 - EU) : $16
• Space Engineers (PS5 - NA) : $14
• Strayed Lights (PS5 - NA) : $17
• R-Type Final 3 Evolved (PS5 - NA) : $40
• Stranded: Alien Dawn (PS5 - NA) : $25
• Project Nightmares Case 36: Henrietta Kedward (PS5 - NA) : $13
• Project Nightmares Case 36: Henrietta Kedward (PS4 - NA) : $13
• Coffee Talk Episode 2: Hibiscus & Butterfly (PS5 - NA) : $10
• Mega Man Battle Network Legacy Collection (PS4 - NA) : $42
• DE-EXIT - Eternal Matters (PS5 - NA) : $13
• Afterlife VR (PSVR2 - NA) : $10
• Process of Elimination (PS4 -NA) : $30
• Anno 1800 Console Edition - Deluxe (PS5 - NA) : $35
• GrimGrimoire OnceMore (PS5 - NA) : $34
• Last Labyrinth (PSVR2 - NA) : $20
• Wolcen: Lords Of Mayhem (PS4 - EU) : $20
• Atari Mania (PS5 - NA) : $16
• Across the Valley (PSVR2 - NA) : $14
• Buddy Simulator 1985 (PS5 - NA) : $7
• Buddy Simulator 1985 (PS4 - NA) : $7
• The Wreck (PS5 - NA) : $14
• DYSCHRONIA: Chronos Alternate Episode II "The Eleventh Hour" (PSVR2 - NA) : $14
• Peppa Pig: World Adventures (PS4 - NA) : $25
• Clash: Artifacts of Chaos (PS5 - NA) : $25
• Mato Anomalies (PS5 - NA) : $25
• DARQ: Ultimate Edition (PS5 - NA) : $10
• DARQ: Ultimate Edition (PS4 - NA) : $10
• Papetura (PS5 - NA) : $7
• Caverns Of Mars: Recharged (PS5 - NA) : $7
• Zombieland: Headshot Fever Reloaded (PSVR2 - NA) : $16
• LEAP (PS5 - NA) : $20
• Jurassic World Aftermath (PSVR2 - NA) : $20
• Wanted: Dead (PS5 - NA) : $35
• Demeo (PS5 / PSVR2 - NA) : $30
• Gamedec Definitive Edition (PS5 - NA) : $25
• The Tale of Onogoro (PSVR2 - NA) : $25
• BROK the InvestiGator (PS5 - NA) : $15
• After The Fall - Complete Edition (PSVR2 - NA) : $20
• Townsmen VR (PSVR2 - NA) : $30
• Vacation Simulator (PSVR2 - NA) : $21
• Job Simulator (PSVR2 - NA) : $13
• Cave Digger 2 : Dig Harder (NA - PSVR2) : $17
• Cosmonious High (NA - PSVR2) : $21
• Zenith: The Last City (NA - PSVR2) : $22
• Pistol Whip (PSVR2 - EU) : $18
• Puzzling Places (PSVR2 - NA) + 2 DLC packs (separate codes) : $20 for the 3 codes
• Puzzling Places (PSVR2 - EU) + 2 DLC packs (separate codes) : $17 for the 3 codes
• Drums Rock (PSVR2 - NA) : $12
• Rooftop Renegade (PS4 - NA) : $10
• DYSCHRONIA: Chronos Alternate Episode I (PSVR2 - NA) : $13
• Tetris Effect: Connected (PS5 / PSVR2 - NA) : $30
• Rez Infinite (PS5 / PSVR2 - NA) : $21
• The Forest Quartet (PS5 - NA) : $5
• Togges (PS5 - NA) : $9
• Kukoos: Lost Pets (PS4 - NA) : $15
• Cassiodora (PS5 - NA) : $9
• GRIME (PS4 - NA) : $10
• Wavetale (PS5 - NA) : $15
• The Outbound Ghost (PS5 - NA) : $12
• Inertial Drift + Twilight Rivals Pack (PS5 - NA) : $15
• Kaiju Wars (PS4 - EU) : $6
• Beasts Of Maravilla Island (PS5 - NA) : $7
• Farming Simulator 22 - Platinum Edition (PS5 - NA) : $29
• Tempus (PS5 - NA) : $3
• Ghostbusters: Spirits Unleashed (PS4/PS5 - NA) : $14
• Moonscars (PS5 - NA) : $8
• Dakar Desert Rally - Deluxe Edition (PS5 - NA) : $24
• Prison Architect: Undead (PS4 - NA) : $2
• Unexplored 2: The Wayfarer's Legacy (PS4 - NA) : $14
• Plunder Panic (PS5 - NA) : $7
• I Was A Teenage Exocolonist (PS4/PS5 - NA) : $9
• Commandos 3 - HD Remaster (PS4 - NA) : $9
• Fallen Legion: Rise to Glory (PS5 - NA) : $9
• Fallen Legion Revenants (PS5 - NA) : $13
• Voyage (PS4 - NA) : $5
• Lootlite (PS4/PS5 - NA) : $2
• Gigabash (PS5 - NA) : $9
• QUByte Classics: Zero Tolerance Collection (PS4 - NA) : $4
• Hazel Sky (PS4 - NA) : $9
• Two Hundred Ways (PS4 - NA) : $8
• Arcadegeddon (PS4/PS5 - NA) : $8
• Yurukill: The Calumniation Games (PS4/PS5 - NA) : $15
• Matchpoint Tennis Championships (PS4/PS5 - NA) : $15
• Lumberjack's Dynasty (PS4 - NA) : $10
• Moo Lander (PS4 - NA) : $9
• Crazy Chicken Xtreme (PS4 - NA) : $9
• Tour de France 2022 (PS5 - NA) : $18
• Behind the Frame: The Finest Scenery (PS4 - NA) : $7
• THE ORIGIN: Blind Maid (PS4 - NA) : $7
• Freshly Frosted (PS4 - NA) : $4
• Super Perils of Baking (PS4/PS5 - NA) : $4
• Endzone - A World Apart: Survivor Edition (PS5 - NA) : $14
• Source of Madness (PS5 - NA) : $7
• Arcade Spirits: The New Challengers (PS5 - NA) : $7
• Demon's Tier+ (PS4/PS5 - NA) : $4
• Riddled Corpses EX (PS4/PS5 - NA) : $4
• Xenon Valkyrie+ (PS4/PS5 - NA) : $4
• RiffTrax: The Game (PS4 - NA) : $4
• Winter Ember (PS4/PS5 - NA) : $8
• Kombinera (PS5 - NA) : $5
• orbit.industries (PS4/PS5 - NA) : $4
• Ikai (PS5 - NA) : $5
• The Last Cube (PS4/PS5 - NA) : $6
• Conan Chop Chop (PS4/PS5 - NA) : $6
• Demetrios the BIG Cynical Adventure REPLASTERED (PS5 - NA) : $3
• Gunborg: Dark Matters (PS4/PS5 - NA) : $5
• NERF Legends (PS4/PS5 - NA) : $5
• Kinduo (PS4/PS5 - NA) : $2
• One Hand Clapping (PS4 - NA) : $4
• Heavenly Bodies (PS4/PS5 - NA) : $4
• A YEAR OF SPRINGS (PS4/PS5 - NA) : $2
• Windlands 2 (PSVR - NA) : $6
• Night Lights (PS4/PS5 - NA) : $2
• Tandem: A Tale of Shadows (PS4 - NA) : $5
• NASCAR 21: Ignition Champions Edition (PS4 - NA) : $10
• Super Destronaut DX-2 (PS4/PS5 - NA) : $2
• Loopindex (PS4/PS5 - NA) : $2
• Sun Wukong VS Robot (PS4/PS5 - NA) : $2
• Rabisco+ (PS4/PS5 - NA) : $2
• Embr (PS4 - EU) : $2

Nintendo Switch (codes are NA - US region unless specified otherwise) :

• Aragami 2 : $19
• Jurassic World Aftermath Collection : $18
• Lair Land Story : $7
• Josh Journey: Darkness Totems : $8
• Slaycation Paradise : $5
• Robo Revenge Squad : $6
• MADiSON : $15
• Ground Divers! : $6
• Sakura Fantasy : $5
• Fallen Angel : $5
• XEL : $5
• Zeus Quest – The Rebirth of Earth : $4
• Gal*Gun: Double Peace : $8
• Frightence : $3
• Time Blazer : $8
• LIT: Bend the Light : $4
• Wunderling DX : $8
• Two Hundred Ways : $6
• Amazing Machines : $8
• Buck Bradley: Comic Adventure : $1
• To the Top, Mammoth : $5
• Red Colony 3 (EU) : $2
• Labyrinth Legend : $8
• Draw a Stickman: EPIC : $4
• Horrid Henry's Krazy Karts : $8
• Tunnel of Doom : $7
• Real Boxing 2 : $5
• My Singing Monsters Playground : $7
• Where Cards Fall : $6
• Endocrisis : $2
• Monomals : $6
• Boulder Dash Deluxe : $5
• Ruin Raiders : $6
• Toroom : $3
• Ancient Stories: Gods of Egypt (EU) : $1
• Out of Line : $3
• DroneRidge : $3
• Black Book (EU) : $2
• Doomsday Vault (EU) : $2
• Off The Road Unleashed : $2
• Zombo Buster Advance : $2
• The Magister : $2
• CRASH: Autodrive : $2
• A Night at the Races : $2
• Armed Emeth : $2
• Faraday Protocol : $5
• Frontier Quest : $3
• Knights & Guns : $3
• Spacebase Startopia : $6

Want :
Paypal F&F (prices negotiable especially if you take multiple games)

Hi everyone.
To Kill a Predator is a work of fan fiction set in the Nature of Predators universe originally created by SpacePaladin15 whose Patreon you should subscribe to.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental. Depiction does not equal endorsement.
Hope you enjoy it!
[First] [Previous] [Next]
---
Memory transcript subject: Martin Russo, Human Refugee
Date [standardized human time]: November 15th, 2136
​
I am livid every time I think about it. Tom has been fighting like a madman for a week to get some accountability out of the pyromaniacs, and then some UN bureaucrat shows up and tells us to drop it.
Just like that.
The suit tells me point-blank that my access to the shelter is contingent on my signing an NDA about everything. When Tom says he's running the shelter and I get to stay as long as I need to, he's told he may be replaced as administrator unless he plays ball. And Tom, blessed man, simply looks at me and says "It's your call, Martin."
Just like that.
We end up signing, of course. I'd be fine with fighting until the end if it was just my ass on the line, but Thomas Sinclair makes life better for everyone here and he is not a resource worth wasting on me. I feel like crap. I've heard the conversations Tom’s had over the last couple of weeks with the Exterminators' office, with Venlil lawyers, and a District Magister. He's been passionate, and sincere. He's tried to ply them with logic, with compassion, and with shame. At all turns they've stonewalled us. And now they've run to the UN to get it swept under the rug. Bastards, bastards, bastards!
Even his promise that this isn’t the end of the fighting doesn’t help. What the hell else can we do when we’ve been forced to sign our silence?
​
A couple of days before the suit’s arrival, Tom takes my hands and looks into my eyes. He says that he understands and shares my feelings of frustrated powerlessness in the face of brutal and uncaring institutions and people. I believe him. Then he tells me what he does to feel better, and suggests I try it too.
So I've been volunteering. There's a million little things that need doing to keep a shelter running, and I've taken on every duty I'm able to. A couple of toilets are clogged? I'm on the case. Need someone to brew coffee for literally everyone? No problemo. Wouldn't it be nice if someone could bake something for the therapy groups? Consider it done, boss. Kitchen’s short-handed today? Not on my watch. Couldn't we install blackout curtains in the common rooms so we can simulate night-time? Heck, I suggested and implemented that one myself.
To my surprise it actually helps. Staying on the move makes it hard to feel sorry for myself. We're all either last survivors of our families, or far more often stuck with uncertainty for what will probably be months or even years as Earth's bureaucracy tallies the damage of the parrot freaks' genocidal tantrum. And while I'm the only one who's faced the sharp end of it, everyone's dealing with the Venlils' suspicious and hostile attitudes on top of that. I understand it's better in the big cities, but that doesn't help us out here in the boonies. Walking on eggshells, wearing the damn masks in constant sunlight, and watching every word we say and every movement we make. No wonder half of us don't bother going outside at all.
I find myself missing the kid. She was just about the only Venlil who was as cute and sweet on the inside as their entire species are on the outside. And she was better at chess than everyone at the shelter. But since last time we talked it ended with us both almost getting incinerated because her mom tried to use the Exterminators to kill me, I make the decision to not reach out to her. It's probably best if she gets to focus on school and move on.
​
Along with volunteering, I've thrown myself head-first into every other distraction I can find. I rejoin the art class, I use every part of the shelter's exercise yard or just jog circles around it until I'm dry-heaving and crying from pain, I join the shelter's theater group as a stagehand, and when a couple of guys from Germany clear out a storage room in the basement and set up an ad-hoc boxing gym, I'm first in line. I work my mind and body to exhaustion every paw, because otherwise I ruminate. Or worse, dream. Now instead I collapse into my empty bunk and blissful oblivion until breakfast call.
I left all my stuff at Vansi and Thiva's household, so it's probably ashes and slag by now. That means all I own is some clothes from the second hand bin, and a pair of music earbuds I found in the exercise yard and tried to reunite with their original owner to no success. Don't even own a charger, I have to borrow my bunkmate's. I am a little surprised that I don't really mind. I don't give myself time to sit around with a pad all day like I used to, and what else did I even own? A band shirt from when I went to see Where Angels Fear, a few bad sketches of fruit, and my dad's chess set?
Okay. That last one stings a little. So I make it a quick breakfast and head out to the yard. The last owner of the earbuds had an atrocious taste in music, but the last vestiges of their good instincts had snuck a bit of classic 2090s metal on there. Dance Under Moonlight, Godchylde, and Die by the Blade. Not my favorites, but perfectly serviceable.
Some time later, Sarah Upton finds me losing to the wall at tennis. She's doing better after the news about her family, thanks to the therapists. But it's a work in progress, and she's still got the sunken eyes of someone who cries regularly and sleeps poorly. Then again, it's a common look around the shelter. "Hey, uh, art class is in like, ten minutes?"
I've apparently been out here for a couple of hours, since nobody’s needed me for anything today. A timepiece wouldn't go amiss. "Thank you for letting me know. I'll clean up and join you. What are we doing today?" Probably not a fancy pocket watch like Tom, though. Just a simple wristwatch would do. I make a note to ask around, maybe check the lost-and-found in the reception.
Sarah scrunches up her face as she thinks. Nobody in the shelter has particularly great short-term memory. Ask any of us what we ate two days ago and we'll draw a blank, like as not. Trauma just works like that. "Uhm, I think it's still life for the first half, then a live model for the second? Don't quote me on that."
​
I change out of my workout clothes and shower before donning my fancy art clothes. You can tell the difference because my art shirt has paint stains instead of pit stains. I don't actually bother to keep anything I draw, though the teacher encourages it. I also don't think I'm getting any better, but that's not the point anyway. I shuffle into the drawing room with the others, and take my usual spot. There's no assigned seating or anything, but people still gravitate toward "their" spot without saying anything. It's just one of the little quirks of humanity.
The still life is a few glasses of water, which is a lot trickier than it sounds. The teacher gives us some initial pointers, and explains a few things by demonstrating on the whiteboard, before she lets us loose and stalks around the room. Her glasses, angular face, and white painter's coat reminds me of some sort of bird of prey, circling the room to swoop down on the weak and unwary to offer advice and critique. The metaphor breaks down somewhat toward the end.
"Alright, that's our still lifes done for the day! For the second half, we've got a special surprise for you!"
I fold over the paper for a new one. I hear some gasps, and some people scramble to cover their faces. I silently cringe. They've been trying to get a Venlil to sit model since the shelter started, but nobody's been dumb enough to walk into the lion's den. Until now, apparently. This is going to cause trouble. They're terrified of us, and their panic instincts are overwhelmingly strong. I move to find something to cover my face, but I briefly look up and-
What.
"What!"
---
Memory transcript subject: Thiva, Venlil Student
Date [standardized human time]: October 28th, 2136
​
I got started before the tears had dried. I had tried to appeal to Vansi’s better nature and sense of morality for years, so that route was pointless. It was time to fight smarter, not harder. She’d soon find out she wasn’t the only one who could be a sneaky liar. Vansi turned from me to head inside the house as soon as the Exterminator van had left line of sight, and I spoke up with a sobbing whimper. "M-Mom? I don't wanna go back in the house. Martin, th-the human, it was... Could we... could we take into a hotel tonight instead? Next paw, after work and school, we can go and clean its things out... Please?"
She acquiesced, with some reluctance. "Of course, sweetie. This paw's been intense for us both, and I think a little time away will do us good." The hotel was a bit closer to both her job and my schooling than home, but that wasn't the important part. I heard what Martin had said in passing about a box, and I know Vansi did too. As soon as she got home, she'd look for it. Besides, I couldn’t leave Martin hanging. I’d have dashed off right away, but staying in Vansi’s good graces for a while longer was still in our best interests. She wasn’t above having me dragged off to assessment for Predator Disease if I didn’t play this right.
Once at the Greenmeadow Hotel, I waited as short a time as I felt I could before speaking up. “H-Hey mom, I… I need to talk to Vilek about this… she promised I’d tell her if anything happened with the predator… I’ll come back in a quarter claw at most, okay?” I lied to her face, but it was important that she didn’t get to start on damage control before me. The second I was out of line of sight I’d make a straight line for the Exterminators’ offices and get my human released.
​
Date [standardized human time]: October 29th, 2136
​
Unfortunately I didn’t have time to talk to Martin if I wanted to keep to the schedule I promised Vansi, but mister Sinclair promised to relay my well-wishes. (I desperately wanted to see him, but right now keeping Vansi from getting suspicious was too important). The next morning I left the hotel for the university as Vansi left for work, and hugged her goodbye in the hotel lobby before parting ways. "Have a great claw at work, mom, I love you!"
"You too, sweetie, I'll see you at home!"
Once we parted ways, I set out at top speed. As soon as I got to university grounds, I immediately found Vilek and dragged her into a corner. She was naturally startled to be taken aside so suddenly. "Thiva! Why’re you..." she began, but I cut her off.
"No time. I need you to take my pad and go around with it at school for the claw. And... I kinda need to borrow your cash card."
She blinked and flicked her ear in surprise. "What? Why?!"
I gave her my cutest look (and I can do some very good ones!) "Because we're best friends?"
She sighed adorably. "...You're not going to do anything crazy with it, are you?"
"I promise that I will personally reimburse every last bit of the money, and it won't be much anyway."
"Why can't you use your own card?"
"Because mom tracks my purchases."
She flicked her tail in a motion of understanding, and agreement. "Let's just swap pads, that's easiest."
"Thanks, Vilek, you're the best! Oh, one more thing, remember how we were looking into splitting that place nearby?"
"Yeah?"
"...well, I think we should see if it's still available. In the next couple paws would be good."
Her ears sprung up in surprise. "The next- Thiva, that's way too soon! What is going on?!"
"I promise I'll explain everything later, okay? But I don't have time right now!" I gave her my warmest hug and folded my tail around hers in a fond and intimate display, before rushing out to catch the first bus.
​
I purchased a bundle of random cloths and textiles from the shopping district, then turned right around and headed home again. This was the danger point. Step one: Vansi's car wasn't there. Step two: I snuck in through the window to my room, just in case. Step three: Moving as quietly as if an Arxur was sniffing for prey downstairs (and between one and Vansi I'm not sure which I'd have preferred!), I headed down to the living room. Once I was sure Vansi wasn't anywhere, I grabbed the chess set and its pieces and folded it around them, before heading back up to Renak's room.
Martin's clothes and effects were strewn through the room, but there was a system to it. Kind of. He had designated a spot as a pile for his clothes, he had a couple of books on the desk, and his pad was on the bed. I stuffed everything I could find into his traveling bag and fumbled the zipper shut.
Next, I had to find Renak’s box.
That part wasn't as hard as I had feared. Under the desk a bit of the floor had been cut out. Martin hadn't bothered to cover it back up again. The small space there seemed to be Renak's hidey-hole. I found a small kitchen knife, a pair of pliers, some standard nail clippers, and a metal box with a lock. The lock had been opened already, and the box rattled like it was full of tiny pebbles when I handled it. Swallowing my fear, I opened it.
Inside, there were several stacks of uneven sheets of paper, all yellowed and old. Shaking the box a bit, I found that underneath them there were dozens of little stones in whites, greys, and blacks. The black stones were curved, while the white and grey ones were straight. I lifted the stacks of paper, and found the bottom of the stack to be unexpectedly soft. (And I kinda dropped them with an undignified squeak, but nobody was around so it doesn't count!)
The underside of each sheet was covered in either fur or colorful feathers. I inspected them, trying to figure out what was so bad about this. If nobody ever listened to me when I told them about Renak's "playing rough" with me as a kid, I just didn't see how these things would convince anyone. Until I saw that one of the sheets had a flattened and boneless little rodent face attached to it.
Oh sacred Protector!!
​
Skin! They weren't papers at all, they were pieces of skin! With horror and disgust, I realized that my brother had kept a box full of the skins of rodents and birds! And the "rocks" were teeth, claws, and talons!
Retching and holding back the urge to vomit, I shoved the pack of animal hides back into the box. I used Vilek's pad to take a few pictures for documentation, and then carefully shut the box and put it back under the desk along with the tools, and covered it all up.
A small part of me considered showing Vansi. But the rest of me knew what she'd do if I did: Blame someone else. Probably the predator that had lived in the room. Nothing was ever Renak’s fault. But sitting around being angry about it wouldn’t help. It was time for me to try and set this aside, and proceed with the next step of my plan. I took some time to compose myself from my discovery, before I opened up Vilek's pad and sent a message to... well to myself, asking to meet up at my place. She said she'd feign sickness to cut class and be right over. (Did I mention she's my best friend?)
By the time my bestie showed up, I had piled the textiles outside the house, and had already handed off Martin's bag to a same-paw delivery service to drop off at her place. I wagged my tail happily to see her. "Here, quick, help me burn this!"
Her tail-tip flicked uncertainly, and rather than help me douse the textiles with fuel she swapped our pads back. "Uhh, what is it?"
"It's a bunch of random textiles I bought."
"Okay, but... why?"
"Because mom tried to have Martin killed. Like... she called the Exterminators on him, then lied to them so they'd kill him."
She turned her head with alarm. "Wait, Martin the human?! What did it do?!"
I flicked my tail angrily. "Oh don't you start, he didn't do anything! He said Exterminators were assholes, and she proceeded to call them over to prove him right!"
She slowly swished her tail and folded her ears down to signal appeasement. "Okay, but... what's that got to do with your backyard bonfire?"
"Because if mom comes home to me having already burned all his stuff, she won't do it."
"But it's not- Oh!" Her ears shot up with realization.
"Yeah, now you get it. But that's not all, you won't believe what I found in Renak's room..."
​
Date [standardized human time]: November 15th, 2136
​
Once I convinced Vansi that I just felt so awful about having had that predator in the house that I simply had to get rid of its stuff, it wasn't hard to take the next step and suggest that I move somewhere closer to the university with Vilek. She wasn't sure about it, until I pointed out that it'd let me take a part-claw job and send her some money, which was the entire reason we took in the human to begin with. (Actually finding that job's a problem for Future Thiva!)
Setting everything up and getting hold of the apartment took several paws. I checked for the box on the paw of the move, but it was already gone.
Then once I had moved out and gotten settled in with Vilek, all I had to do was volunteer to be painted at the human shelter. I could have just showed up, but I wanted a little more of a dramatic flair! And if that meant waiting a couple of extra paws for the reunion, so be it.
The look on my human's face was totally worth the prep, and even walking into a room full of predators! I triumphantly held his travel pack aloft before his shocked, gaping expression with a joyful giggle.
"Hey Martin! You forgot your stuff!"
---
[First] [Previous] [Next]