Long sweet messages to send to your boyfriend while he s at work | | I (23F) feel like my boyfriend (25M) of five years is going to break up with me any moment now. Is this just anxious attachment on my part or is his behaviour weird

Sorry for how long this is.
A few weeks ago my (23F) long-time (5y) partner (25M) started a(n honestly weird) fight which ended in him saying something about maybe we should break up. That evening we both went out to the same place seperately (as was the plan: which was the reason he started the fight. It started with him asking if I was going there to spy on him all night which I thought was weird because I didn't know he was going there when I made my own plans and why would that be your first question instead of "want to go together?" or something). After the fight he behaved single (in my opinion) there all night. Flirting a bit with the girls that were with him and his friends, openly rejecting me when I went up to him for a kiss but later circling back to where I was standing to still get that kiss. All around it gave me the feeling he started the fight just so he had a reason to seem single. Yet at the end of the night he asked me if I could drive him home because he had drank too much and if I would stay over, all his (girl) friends saw us leave together which didn't fit with the story I had created in my head up to that point. (Please keep in mind that I tell this from my perspective so it is biased per definition. Any conclusions you get from this alone or if you agree with me, that could just be from the way I tell it.)
Ever since then I have been wanting to talk about that night because I feel weird about it. However he has never been in the mood to talk about it, and has been working long days so he gets home very late and it is understandably too late to start a heavy conversation. (I have his location so I am fairly certain he is indeed working. It's not a regular job where he can be 'at the office' late and still be cheating with a coworker or anything. I am pretty certain he hasn't been cheating when working late).
Friday I went over to his parents house before he got home and went to sleep in his bed. When he got home he said "I will hurry up buying a house, so you can always be home with me and you can sleep in when I have to get up early" (because again he was working long hours on saturday). Then yesterday evening (saturday) I found out he had contacted a woman friday about a house that he wanted to go visit and might be visiting tonight (sunday), but hadn't told me about (usually we visit houses together - although he is buying it since I'm still in uni so can't get a loan). These two interactions gave me opposite vibes. One being that he very clearly thinks about his future as including me, the other one being that he doesn't want me being involved in choosing a house because I might not ever move there. He has said before that our relationship puts more pressure on him to buy a house soon, if that could be relevant. (Though not through my doing). I'm not sure if he visisted the house tonight, but I did see that his location was 20km from his home around eight, though not at the address of that house.
I am not even sure if any of the previous context has anything to do with todays behaviour so feel free to disregard anything when giving advice, if you feel like it isn't related. Please don't assume everything I say had to be connected because there might also be things that happende from his perspective or in his life the past few weeks that I'm not even aware of.
Early this morning I was leaving from his house at the same time as him and he gestured at me to go first but I stopped my car in the driveway so he could freely pass me on his bike and gestured at him to do so. Seemingly out of nowhere he screamed something at me like "just fucking let me be" (don't remember what exactly he said and even then this is translated loosely to English, but I was shocked). I backed out of the driveway and drove off in a hurry. He called me before I had left his street but I was on the verge of crying and didn't feel like accepting an apology when I was really not okay with the behaviour so I declined the call. I haven't heard from him all day which is very unusual. Normally we call or text at least a few times throughout the day. He also hadn't been to my grandparents house ven though he texted my grandma that he would be over today to help fix a loose pan on her roof. (not really related but gave me the impression something was seriously wrong if he was avoiding everything to do with me) so I called him this evening around half past seven. He didn't answer but that happens sometimes and normally he calls me back when he has the time. Often that's not even five minutes later, but this time I still hadn't heard from him by nine so I called again.
I then got a message: "I don't want to call".
I answered in three texts: "What did I do to you?", "You screamed at me out of nowhere and without reason this morning. I'm actually annoyed that you haven't apologised yet but I was worried something happened so I thought I'd call. I think I at least deserve an explanation." and "Or I expect you to have the respect to just break up with me, instead of all of a sudden ghosting me."
He didn't respond so I FaceTimed him, which he didn't answer. I FaceTimed four more times before I got a text: "leave me alone".
I answered in three texts again: "What?", "Where is this coming from" and "this is ridiculously scary for me and bold of you to do. Let me know what's up so I can supress the tendency to jump into my car and come over".
He responded: "nothing's up [my name]"
To which I responded in five texts: "Yeah it doesn't feel like that at all. I hope you realise that.", "if there's truly nothing wrong, I find this behaviour very unfair to me", "if something is wrong, too", then in response to the 'leave me alone message: "you don't talk to someone you love like that, so this conversation gives me the feeling you're going to break up with me any second" and lastly "there's all kinds of alarms going of in my head and I'm having unhealthy thoughts about our relationship that stem from the panick that I'm feeling."
He replied: "[my name] I just don't want to talk and be alone okay?"
To which I said: "just closing yourself off like this feels very mean to me and gives me a lot of doubt. Give me a little context so I can sleep with peace of mind because right now I'm panicking and hurt", "plus I still expect an apology for your sudden outburst this morning".
He didn't respond again so I FaceTimed him once more. He didn't pick up and still didn't respond so I texted him: "[his name] I really need more than this. Is there someone else I can call to provide me some context? Like you parents?"
He then texted me: "[my name] It's clear I want to be alone for a bit", "nothing's wrong", "I am alive and don't have any injuries" and "I just want to go to bed in a minute, done".
I responded in three texts again: "Yes but you give me the feeling that I did something wrong by closing yourself off from me this harshly", "I haven't heard from you all day after you lashed out at me out of nowhere this morning" and a little later when I had tried to calm myself down: "I will give you the space you need right now, but by goign about it this way this influences my feelings towards you and my trust in this relationship. If this behaviour isn't caused by you wanting to break up, I hope you can give me some clarification one of the next days because otherwise I'm not sure if I can repair my feelings to what they were on my own."
He still hasn't responded to that and I'm pretty certain he won't. Even though I can see that he is actively snapchatting right now. Now typing this out, I feel like I was way overreacting, but I still don't feel at ease.
I feel like I recognize the anxious and avoidant attachment types in us and sent him a screenshot from an instagram video a few days ago about 'what an avoidant partner wishes they could say sometimes' and he reponded "numbers 1, 3, 4 and 6 I feel sometimes" which were:

"Sometimes it feels safer to run or go quiet than to open my mouth and make it worse"
I wish I knew how to open up to you
Sometimes I feel very hard to love
I feel like I fail you so much ... and that feels awful because I don't want to lose you.

Does this situation feel familiar to someone who spoke to their therapist about feelings of this kind?
Is anyone able to put themselves in my boyfriends shoes and explain to me what he might be feeling or thinking?
Any advice on how I could have better reacted or what I can still do (if anything) to help us both get through this situation without getting more hurt or damaging our relationship?
I don't want to freak out but I obviously already am and don't want to drive him away.
He usually calls me in the morning when he's on his way to work. Would it be justified for me to not pick up if he calls tomorrow? (assuming that he will, which I'm not sure of)
TL;DR My boyfriend of five years suddenly lashed out at me and now doesn't want to talk which isn't usual. I am panicking quite a bit but don't know if it is because of insecure attachment or if my worry is justified. How do I react?

The memories keep replaying in my head, so maybe writing it down and sharing her story might help, so I’ll start with the beginning.
My baby cousin (lets call her Cam) and i were always paired together at family gatherings. She, the youngest of 7, and me being an only child just three years older than her, we connected easily. Especially since all her siblings were significantly older and expected me to entertain her. We had our differences but I always looked forward to seeing her. Sometimes we’d have sleepovers or she’d need to take a nap in her crib; every time she was put down to take a nap, I’d sneak in there just so we could hang out some more. She felt like the sister I never had.
Of course she was mischievous and annoying at times, like most young siblings are. But there was a spark in her not everyone had. her jokes landed every time, even if they were at my own detriment. She was so funny and outgoing, she lit up every room she walked into.
Fast forward to when I was 12, she was 9. Her mom got in a freak accident and passed away two nights before her birthday; she and her bf had been driving drunk without her seatbelt on. That night my whole family fell apart. My parents took on the responsibility of her seven kids, most of which were in their late teens now, except for, well, Cam. Since Cam’s mom had full custody of her, and her dad was out of the picture for his abuse allegations, my parents stepped in to try and take custody of her.
The courts had decided that since her fathers abuse allegations were “too old” and CPS wanted to keep her “as close to her parents as possible” her father won custody of her.
I will never forget the day that my parents, my six cousins, and I sat in her living room as she screamed and fought her dad. Screaming at us to please not let him take her. I could only watch as he dragged her out of her own home. All nine of us watched, unable to do anything without the law getting involved. No matter how many times my parents brought documented paperwork of his abuse to the cops, they denied us any possibility of helping her.
My parents left me alone for months during this time, since they were always at my cousins house trying to help the other kids. Cam’s dad sent us threats everyday, making up delusional lies about my mom, threatening to stab my dad, sexually harassing me. I can only imagine what he had done to her. When my parents came home after each day, they were exhausted and depressed. And i, having had mental health issues my whole life, struggled too, but my parents didn’t really see that. They denied my illnesses whenever I showed clear signs of depression and anxiety. If anything, they became infuriated with me. (Now I have ptsd so great job guys)
Fast forward to a few years. We had Cami at our house whenever her dad allowed it, and we tried to keep her with us as long as we could get away with.
I loved her so much. I cannot stop crying as I write this. I can recount every moment I saw her after her moms accident. she managed to smile and crack jokes despite it all. she was good at hiding her sadness but I could sense it regardless, so I tried my hardest to make her happy whether it be playing songs on my ukulele for her or watching shows on the couch together as we both melted into exhaustion. She was the first person I came out to, and the first person in my family that accepted me wholeheartedly.
It wasn’t until she was 13 that I could clearly see signs of her decline. the way she acted became dimmer. she came to holiday dinners high. could you blame her? I couldn’t. I attempted talking to her but she was sheltered, she only hung around her older brother who also came to family gatherings high.
When she was 15 she was sent to a psych ward for suicidal tendencies. she then told them about her father and said if she went back there, she would kill herself. because legally they can’t send a child back to a place where they are in danger, they finally, FINALLY, opened up to the idea of my parents fostering her. So, she moved in with us. but because the foster system is stupid, there were strict guidelines we had to follow as a family. And living with my parents, well, they were pretty strict. And honestly, much of my parents “strict parenting techniques” contributed to my adolescent depression more than I thought.
But Cam wasn’t like that. She was wild, and by the time she had moved in with us, she already struggled with addiction & various internalized traumas. I suspect that her dad had probably trafficked her, since she displayed clear responses of someone who had been groomed. I could tell she wouldn’t conform to my parents the way I had been accustomed to doing so. So I watched as the fights broke loose, I watched as her moods changed throughout the day, I would try to entertain her with books and long talks at night. We got ready together, and just like how I snuck in to her crib, she snuck into my room after bedtime and we’d talk all night. it felt nice to finally have someone I could talk to in my own home. Regardless, she started lying and acting out. Getting high at school & having s*x with older men. My parents looked through her phone and immediately contacted authorities, then they put her on a strict schedule of going to school & then going home, no exceptions. No internet access, no way to talk to her friends. For her, I think it was a lot worse than my parents made it out to be, saying it was her fault because of the choices she made. Which I understand, but honestly,,dealing with a traumatized foster kid, strategies like that just won’t work. she got worse, she got more depressed, she got angry at me for certain things and I was literally torn between respecting (or getting in trouble with)my parents or helping her. and inevitably, I had to leave for my first year of college.
Leaving that day, oh man. I was so scared. Not for college but for my home. I had this awful wretched gut feeling that something would go terribly wrong if I left.
At first it was fine, but she begged me to go home every weekend. I knew just how she felt, I was an only child once with parents that regulated my every move. It’s suffocating, it makes you feel like doing something bad just because you have nothing left to lose. So for a while I did come back every weekend despite my failing grades and increasing depression, which later turned into psychosis.
During the midst of this psychotic episode I had isolated myself for months. I hadn’t gone home for a while. And then I got the call from my mom: she ran away, and she wasn’t coming back.
I felt so awful. I felt guilty even. I know they saw her as a troubled kid, and I did too to an extent, but that doesn’t mean what she was feeling wasn’t valid. She had gone through a lot already, and my parents’ constant overseeing and control weren’t helping. So she left. I even thought that maybe, maybe because I was so scared something bad would happen, it was my fault she left, as self absorbed as that sounds. I remember warning her about my parents, saying as long as she did what they asked, and if she was sneaky enough to hide the things she didn’t want them knowing, she wouldn’t get everything taken away. But honestly, I think the lack of freedom she had led to this.
She was put back in the foster system and hopped from house to house. She was kicked out of some of them. All the while I checked in when I felt was appropriate, because I know she didn’t wanna see my parents again, and I felt like “who the hell am I in her life to check up on her all the time?” but I thought of her all the time. I missed her so much, I missed her voice, I missed knocking on my wall and hearing her knock back. I missed when she would barge into my room unprompted. I missed when she wanted to go on car rides with me just because. I missed her laugh and her jokes and the light she brought.
I was lucky enough to be kept on her close friends story on Instagram. Instead I grew increasingly worried. Her face started to look more pale, her skin more sweaty, her eyes more sunken..I knew she was doing more than just pot. The arguments shed record and post online, the random adult men, I knew she was just slipping back into her unhealthy coping mechanisms. I didn’t want to say anything or else she’d cut me off, so I kept encouraging her to come to this upcoming wedding for my uncle and aunt. I wanted her to meet my girlfriend, because I knew they would get along so well. from then on maybe if I just saw her one more time, we could reconnect.
She never made it to the wedding. She said she was busy but that she missed me.
She died two days after the wedding. Apparently she had quit taking pills but relapsed and took too many, and whoever gave them to her laced it with fentanyl. If I ever find out who it was, which I suspect might’ve been my own cousins, well, I’ve already thought about what I’d do a million times. I have already sent my regards to her father about his behavior and about what he’s done. He doesn’t think I know as much as I do about him. (Well now he knows)
The whole situation has left an aching in my chest. It’s been a year and a half since she died and I am still processing the rage and the sorrow and the guilt that came along with it. This was not just a sudden death, this was years in the making. Years of possible interventions, years of cps failing her over and over again, years that my family could’ve spend leading her in a better direction rather than enabling her addiction. (Her siblings admitted to giving her weed started at like age 12 I think?) I am just so hopeless about the whole situation. It’s left this corrupted feeling inside of me, like everything and everyone is bad. I hate everyone, but I love them because I know they are struggling too. I just don’t know how to move on from all of it despite years of therapy. That disgusting feeling of anger and shame and hostility hasn’t left, it’s made a nest in my mind, and I’m afraid I will never ever forget her and the mind-shattering sensations associated with her death.
One thing she told me has never left my mind - “if I die, it’s nothing personal. I just don’t care anymore.”

Im old. 72. Not the internet savvy kind. Forgive me. My son taught me a while ago about Reddit and I really like it for looking at car topics and other financial interests. Sorry but I’m not the fastest typing and this post took a long time to make.
In any case, this has been weighing heavily on me lately. All my kids are grown, and bar one, they are all doing badly. Only my second oldest (daughter) is doing okay. She lives in Vegas with my grandson whose 24now I think. My oldest, her brother is in the hospital now. He just had a seizure. He doesn’t remember anyone. He lives in a trailer off the freeway way in California. Does odd jobs here and there. Has his history. He struggled with drugs, selling, prison, and baby mamma issues. I let him be.
My third oldest, son, is very sick. Lives in California with his mother and sister… I won’t sugar coat it. I cheated on my wife with his and his sisters mother for 3 years and then patched things up with my wife. His mother was crazy. Always calling me to do this or that, could never relax or drink after working all day on client cars. I was a body mechanic/ did odd jobs. Owned a shop at some points and several homes. In any case my son here is very sick. He has immune diseases, his kidneys have failed (same way my brother died), he’s had several heart attacks, nerve pains and more. I met him when he was 21. He came to find me. And we’ve been working on things. But he’s very depressed. It not like when I was young. Everyone was depressed. But you just dealt with it. Now everyone wants therapy and drugs. He’s been hospitalized for suicide attempt and is going through his doctor now for hospice. I love my son, but he won’t talk to me about it. He says I was never there for anything , this is his choice, fuck off. His sister is like her mother. She has her temper. But she looks so much like lu mother so many years ago. She has a lot of issues pertaining to boyfriend. Her kids are taken by child services. She’s been to the crazy hospital. She takes advice from no one.
I haven’t been there for any of my kids. My own parents raised me and made me the man I became. My dad a musician is clubs in New York taught us all instruments, bodywork, budgeting, politics, he paid for our down payments to first home and paid for my and my oldest brothers wedding. I remember my first job as a shoe shiner. But all my kids bar one seem lost. My oldest daughter has grandkids now. As does my oldest son. The younger son I don’t think ever will date and my youngest daughter shouldn’t.
I’m old now. I’ve had my life. I live with my daughter after I the arthritis worsened and I couldn’t work on cars anymore. I’m looking at my kids and feel like a failure. My brothers and I all did well. But and their kids are all fine. College degrees and careers with families . My sister raised my oldest two while I partied and the youngest two I admit I left to a crazy woman who drove them crazy. I don’t have money now to help any of them. But as a father what do I and any other owe out adult children?

Been mulling on this for sometime now and since I listen to the OKOP podcast for a while I figured I’d message on here.
For a long time I struggled to make friends, but I had 3 very close ones, one I have known since I was four, we can call her Molly, and the other two I’ve known for about 4 years who we’ll call Ana and Codi (fake names-). First I will go into my relationship with Molly.
Molly and I have always been super close since we were kids, we’ve known each other for 15+ years. We looked very similar as kids and our names are practically the same including middle and last names. So our parents always called us sisters and we certainly were, we looked out for one another. Then of course that middle school phase hit and sadly she ended up leaving me for a time. To be fair I grew extremely quiet during those years due to a harsh home life, and when I did talk it was mainly about Star Wars because that was one of the few cartoons I was allowed to watch so understandable-
We later reconnected in high school junior year and that’s where I met Ana and Codi as well. I was happy to be reconnected but unfortunately it didn’t last too long. She got a boyfriend later that same year who we’ll call Jay who was a senior. First red flag. I told her she probably shouldn’t mess with him because he was a lot older and she didn’t know him that well but unfortunately she didn’t listen. I won’t go into too much detail but he was not a good person. He would yell at her over the phone for minor things every couple of days, then apologize the next day saying he “didn’t mean it”, and kept her from calling/ seeing friends, including me because he “wasn’t spending enough time with her”. Keep in mind I only called her once a week if I was lucky she didn’t have a phone call with him that day, even then she would hang up on me after an hour or two just to chat with him.
This went on for about three years until they got engaged. Meeting up went from every once every one to two months, to every three, then to not hanging out for over 6 months because he told her not to.
I considered spacing myself back then because she would rarely call, meeting up was also out of the question, occasionally she’d text but she would only text about problems in her relationship and ask for my help. Unfortunately any advice I gave her made her mad because he “clearly didn’t mean it” even though I grew up in a abusive household and immediately saw the signs of abusive tendencies in him but she thought I was personally attacking her so I stopped saying anything.
Well things finally ended between them because he was cheating and she found evidence on his phone. She tried to reconnect with me after until she started to date another guy from tinder two weeks after her break up and proceeded to give me the same treatment as she originally did with her first bf by rarely texting, calling, not even wanting to hang out for a single lunch.
The last time I saw her was August last year. Unfortunately it wasn’t even a hang out, a family member of mine that lived in my house died that month so the last time I saw her was at the funeral. I tried to text and asked to meet up after but I would barely get a reply, if it was something I was sad or excited for she would leave me days without a response, or not even responding at all. Later down the line, a couple of weeks before my birthday my childhood pet I had 15+ years died, distressed I texted her and while she didn’t respond to me… she was actively responding on another gc I was in that same day. She responded around noon the next day, saying she was “sorry for responding so late”. She also forgot my birthday until almost a week passed. It’s also extremely hard to miss because it’s a few days before one of America’s most popular holidays so my birthday parties tended to always be themed that when were were kids.
So I finally had enough and began to slowly pull away around 2 months ago. eventually unfollowing her on everything because I thought she was done with me. But she apparently wasn’t done, when she noticed I wasn’t responding to her messages after a few days she called me multiple times begging me to come back because “you’ve always been there, you can’t leave me!” Which I don’t understand. Isn’t part of being a friend wanting to talk and to check in on them? Why on earth was she hanging on when she clearly didn’t even have enough respect for me to do that. So I responded to her and told her my reasons for wanting to break away and she began to get angry at me. Saying she was trying her best, and I know she has a lot of stuff going on. But some of the things are simply inexcusable in my opinion. I understand not wanting to call or meet up but not even responding to a text is trying her best?? What’s worse is that I know she actively responds to her boyfriends/ hangs out with them which I understand it’s different since e they’re dating but these are people she barely even knows. When I was constantly there helping her through her rough relationships and other issues at home yet I couldn’t even get a response when someone important to me died.
I miss her still, which is probably dumb I know, weird thing is she reached out again a couple of days ago say “she wants to be a better friend” but at this point I shouldn’t go back right? Worst part is I noticed some of her behaviors with one of my other close friends, Ana, who only messages me about her problems too and hasn’t even asked me how I’ve been doing or what I’ve been up to since September and if i bring up anything I am working on I barely get a response. I am thinking of leaving her too but unfortunately my other close friend, Codi, who honestly is a great guy, his only problem is that he’s too obsessed with Cars and Transformers to want to check out any of my interests (which valid-) But the thing is if I leave Ana she is also close friends with Codi so I don’t know if he’ll even want to be my friend anymore if I leave her so I don’t know what to do.
I feel like it’s not wrong for me to leave either friendship right?? It’s just the guilt tripping from Molly leaves me questioning. If you have any questions feel free to ask but I can’t go into too much specifics because I know Molly uses reddit as well.

So I (22f) was dating (26m) for just over 3 months. Everything was great and I loved our vibe, he understood me and our banter was amazing. He lived 2 hours away by car and thus only met twice:(, we tried meeting more often but got caught up in schedules. He was so gentle with me, so caring, and would attempt to ft/call whenever he could (we lived with our families so we couldn't communicate much at home). He would make an effort by leaving his home, running an errand or going gym to try and call me.
Everything was great, though emotionally I wasn't doing too well. I struggle with dealing with my emotions, I'm a big overthinker, and I cry often. I also have anxiety. I tried not to let the negative thoughts in, but I couldn't help but feel awful when I noticed a small change in him, or us. We did communicate about how I was feeling and he reassured me.
I told him I loved him 2 months in, and he didn't feel the same way. Said it was too soon, and that was fine with me. (lowkey I don't even know if I did, I have no idea anymore).
Fast forward a couple of weeks ago, we planned to meet one of the weekends, but unfortunately, I fell ill. We were both so excited to meet!!! I was so devastated by this because it had been way too long since I last saw him, and our calls/ft's had lessened (I suppose he stopped making an effort to call, maybe he felt comfortable at this stage and couldn't be bothered? idk) but our texts energy remained the same. Idk about anyone else, but I couldn't cope just messaging the person I'm into all day without hearing their voice, and not having seen them in a while! drove me insane. Anyway, I was extremely looking forward to seeing him, and so was he (so he says). He said "It just wasn't meant to happen today" but hadn't rescheduled a date? and didn't share the same distress as me? he just went about his day just fine.. it had been over two months at this point of not seeing each other, on top of nearly two weeks of no calls.
I felt devastated and started to spiral, I asked him when are we seeing each other, and he said maybe next weekend?? or the weekend after??? he expressed that he missed me a lot, but I just didn't understand how he wasn't eager to see me.. maybe he was busy, maybe he couldn't with his family situation, but I wish he had expressed this to me if it were the case.. ( I do want to emphasise that I do believe he wanted to see me, just wasn't eager enough to see me.. which is why I'm confused af. He also isn't a very expressive dude and maybe he just didn't want to show it? again idk..)
I started to spiral and the next day I told him "I want to take a break". I said this because all the negative thoughts came back again and I wasn't feeling as safe as I was with him, so I wanted a break to just reevaluate the way I'm feeling instead of causing an argument with him.
Right before I sent that message, I said "I'm going out tonight" because I had plans with a friend. I don't go clubbing or drinking, I was just headed to have dinner, and he knew this. Though, 25% of me wanted to send it that way, to get the attention I've been missing, and the rest 75% I truly wanted a break before I completely spiralled and argued. I don't play games or do any dumb tests with guys, but I needed that space, and lowkey wanted to see what his reaction would've been. And boy did I fuck up..
Later that night I posted a casual video of me smiling and he expressed to me over the phone how hurt and mad he was all day. He got the wrong idea of what had happened and assumed the worst. He said he lost a bit of trust in me, he said I hurt him and disrespected him, he said he held me in high regard and no one has ever hurt him like this. At this point, I was crying on the phone apologising, and told him it was a misunderstanding (he thought I wanted a break to go hang out with other guys, meanwhile, I was having dinner with one friend and went back home. (though that's how I presumed he would've perceived it as)). I said I was so upset and that I missed him a lot and needed a break because I didn't want to argue. He said it was stupid and he would rather have me argue than say that and post on socials with no regard to his feelings. (he's 100% in the right, BUT I was an emotional wreck and needed a serious break before I unpacked lots on him, and didn't want to do that).
I understood and apologised many times over, I expressed that it was a misunderstanding and that I was hurting. He replied that he "needs to think about it".
I spiralled and couldn't understand why he was contemplating the entire relationship over a misunderstanding?? but then he recognised it was a misunderstanding, but didn't see how this could work when one has more feelings than the other., and that I was hurting and hurt him in the process..
After lengthy paragraphs of me apologising and trying to fix us, he wouldn't budge. I didn't quite understand why he wouldn't fight for us, the way I was? It was a stupid thing to do, but was it really that bad?
On top of that, he's questioning everything because I'm more emotionally invested. Why would you leave a girl that loves you? didn't you say you see a future with her? didn't you say there's no other girl like her? just confused..
We have since stopped speaking. I sent a final message less than a week ago, telling him I wouldn't text again because at that point, it had reached a week of him "thinking about it" and it was driving me crazy. He apologised and said he just needed more time, which is why he was ignoring me for most of it.
He has since not messaged. And I have deleted him from all socials.
My theory is that he was never sure about me, why would you leave a girl who loves you? unless you're unsure about them? I don't understand the logic. But we really hit it off quite well, I just don't understand tbh.

Hello everyone,
So a couple days ago I got a random message from a girls saying “hey Mitchel you still coming over for dinner?”
Straight on I thought it was a scammer as she has a nice profile picture and is randomly messaging me.
So I answered “I wish but as you know I’m not him” and basically tried to see what shady link she would send me as most scammers do this.
But now about 4 days later she still didn’t send me anything shady.
She said after a couple of message that it was her work phone and rather had us talking on her private number. So I added here private number with a different profile picture but it looks like the same girl. So I messaged her” hey masha” (she isn’t called that but I thought scammers might have different profiles and she would straight on say hey and then I would have catched her) but she responded with just hi and then followed by a message of my name so it was no evidence.
So now we basically talk about our days and her life.
I asked her about it being a bit strange that such a beautiful girl would randomly send me a message as I often when this happens I get shady links to strange sites. She obviously responded that she wasn’t mad that I thought that as she is very optimistic and like to laugh(not sure what that has to do with it but okay)
So I later on asked what her hobbies were and if she had some action pictures (just to see if I could get more pictures) she said no why would I want pictures of myself. So she went talking about a trade she just closed I said I want interested in trading crypto I’m more into stocks she said that was fine and we talked about different things.
!!!!so then eventually I said something about her making a selfie holding a knife for verification but she responded “no why don’t be so strange I’ll do a video call with then you can see me well” this obviously scared the living daylight out of me so a made the excuse I had to shave and clean my space to make a good first impression and she agreed to do it when ever I’m ready for it.
———————————————————————— So all I know now is that she is from London moved to the Netherlands (Wassenaar, I do live in The Netherlands asswell). her mom started seeing a Dutchman who she(this girl) doesn’t like yet as he doesn’t act like a dad to her. She had her own beauty salon in the uk and is looking for a spot in the NL to continue. She does work witha team of analysts who help her trade crypto (kinda shady but could be possible) She offers to do a video call (scammers won’t offer that mostly) She also has a strange way of writing a bit strange grammer but that could be Liverpool English as we say here in the Netherlands. She doesn’t have any socials as she isn’t so much into socials. (Strange for such cute girl but I personally don’t use anything else then WhatsApp either)
Maybe I should do the video call and see if she is real and asks here to show me the outside view to check car licenses if they are Dutch.
Oh yeah I did image search the two profile pictures and both numbers but nothing popped up only that it was a Dutch number at the KPN but yeah that proves nothing.
A insanely long text but hopefully someone knows what I can try else I think the video call would be a great choice as I straight see if she looks like the profile pic girl if it even is a girl.
It would be the strangest love story I ever heard of if it tends to be real. Let’s say I hope for the best cuz on paper she is the girl from an utopia, the 10/10 perfect, the golden ticket. But yeah it sounds to good to be true so I’m not convinced it is who she said.

Itinerary
Day 1: late flights, dinner at Gwangjang Market
Day 2: Colour testing, Han Yeosa marinated crab, Apgujeong’s Wiggle Wiggle & London Bagel Museum, Hangang walk, SM Entertainment, Lezhin Entertainment, 1 Million dance studio, apm Place
Day 3: hanbok, Gyeongbokgung, Myeongdong Gyoja, Myeongdong shopping, N Tower, Namdaemun, apm Place
Day 4: Ehwa Uniform, Lotte World, JYP Entertainment, brief Olympic Park walk, 1 in 1 cup, Aquafield Goyang
Day 5: booked via Klook (Petite France, the Garden of Morning Calm, Nami Island, Gangchon Rail bike), zipline into Nami, Myeongdong, karaoke
Day 6: Colour testing (at another place), Hongdae shopping, Myeongdong shopping
Day 7: National Museum of Korea, War Memorial, Banpo bridge, Gotomall, COEX Starfield (Starfield Library, COEX Aquarium)
I started planning about 2 months ago, bookmarking the places on Naver Maps, and decided on our schedule considering the area/location, Seoul Pass, etc. Imo I planned quite well given that we went to so many locations everyday and hit all of our personal must-gos. We were quite rushed at each location, and very tired at the end of each day, so my itin doesn't fit everyone's travel styles, but it was what worked for us. We also prioritized location/tourist spots over food, so our meals were more "whatever was near and seemed good" instead of specific must-go restaurants (except Myeongdong Gyoja and Han Yeosa).
Transport
Naver Maps. Most of the transportation used was via subway - quite convenient with English signage everywhere. Only thing was the many, many stairs at most subway exits, and it was sometimes a long walk, so by Day 4 when we were tired we sometimes called for a taxi. The taxis are quite cheap, so we took them when we were in a hurry as well. Thanks to this sub I had already downloaded the Kakao T app and read about how to use it, and it went pretty smoothly. Longest wait time was 2 minutes max, there was always one nearby. We either paid by cash or T-money.
Colour testing/colour analysis
1st was Ocollor, booked/paid via Klook, and confirmed booking time via KakaoTalk. It was $265usd for 2 people, there was an interpreter and went on for 1hr45mins. They classed me as autumn deep. Gave examples of makeup products, best and worst colours, etc.
2nd was @/colorsociety, booked via WhatsApp 1 month prior and paid onsite, 220,000krw for 1 semi-premium package + body type analysis. Almost immediately after I entered the room she asked if I was winter and was very surprised that that was not my previous result. She did my makeup for me, recommending products and teaching me how to do makeup, plus recommending clothes that suit my body type by sending me screenshots of various Korean clothes brands. We were done in 1 hour.
I booked two different testings because I was . I am leaning towards Color Society’s result, just because the colours she proposed seems to better fit me, and she did have a machine thing to test for undertones (which may or may not be more scientific? idk). The makeup she did on me, using specific products fit for winter tones, also turned out quite well and I would love to replicate that as my daily makeup. However, both testings were quite expensive and could’ve been longehad more content for such a price imo.
Money
We brought ~30000krw cash, bought T-money cards in convenience stores at the airport, and added money into them. When we went to Myeongdong we exchanged our local currency for 350000krw. The shop with the best exchange rate is right outside the Chinese embassy - indeed there was a queue while other nearby exchange shops were empty. The cash was not enough for us - taxi drivers and underground malls/roadside stores/stalls all prefer cash, and apm Place (which we often went to) ONLY accepts cash. In total we should have prepared/exchanged 500,000krw.
We both used Wise card and whilst my friend’s card had a problem and could not pay for some reason, mine worked just fine, super quick conversion from my local currency to more krw when I needed it. I was even able to take out cash using Wise from a random ATM in Myeongdong, even though there was an expensive transaction fee.
Food/Tourist spots
Gwangjang: I knew it was a touristy spot more than an actual traditional market but the location fit our schedule the best. It didn’t seem too expensive, and the food e.g. fishcakes was good. Maybe because it was a weekday evening but it was only a brief queue for the famous kwabaegi and it was soooooooo good.
Han Yeosa: we went on a weekday lunch time and were pleasantly surprised that there was no line at all. It was expensive at 55,000krw/crab, but was good. 1 crab is enough for two people as it was very salty despite having rice and banchan. We both couldn’t fully finish our crabs, which was a shame.
London Bagel Museum: I had heard about the insane queue times and so originally did not plan to go. However when passing by we saw the short 30 minute wait, probably because it was a weekday afternoon, and since we were shopping around the area anyways we decided to go for it. The bagels were good, but not 1-hour wait time good. The soups were great tho. Very heavy mushroom flavour for mushroom soup, and very heavy black pepper taste for tomato soup (don’t order tomato soup if you can’t handle spice)
Myeongdong Gyoja: The kalguksu is SO good I went again right before my flight. Unlike any other noodle or soup I’ve ever had. But was also quite salty and heavily flavoured.
N Tower: we put our locks there! Get your locks from home/other places instead of buying at N Tower cause it's like 10000krw/lock iirc. The cable car tickets up to N Tower and the N Tower observatory tickets are separate tickets, separate payments. The diagonal(?) elevator from Myeongdong up to N Tower is free. I got so confused researching and planning this part of th
apm Place at Dongdaemun: open from 8pm-5am daily except Fridays and Saturdays iirc. A big, 8-floor mall full of clothes and only clothes. 99% of people were Chinese daigous (purchasing on behalf of others) and livestreamers selling to their customers. Most places ignored us and only offered wholesale to daigous, and did not do retail so we couldn't directly buy from them right there. You have to ask each individual store and ask about each piece directly. Sometimes you can just simply buy it, sometimes you have to buy two or more items from the store, sometimes the store doesn't do retail. 99% of sellers speak Chinese. It was a very special experience, and a very good way to spend time very late into the night without worrying about how to travel back to the hotel if you live in Dongdaemun. The clothes are more expensive than Myeongdong and underground malls, but of a better quality and design. All stores only accept cash from individual/walk-in buyers like us tourists. This is why we needed so much cash
Nami Island: now I did a lot of research on this sub and online about whether it was worth going to Nami Island (and surrounding attractions) and that’s up to individual opinion. My friend really wanted to go, so it was worth it for us. I originally thought about going ourselves, but it’s so difficult to get there (subway to KTX to bus) that I just booked a tour that would be more comfortable and allowed us to visit more places than if we went ourselves. Tour was good, guide was good, went smoothly. We did have the option to zipline into Nami (completely separate from the tour, pay for tickets onsite. I tried booking online tickets but didn’t have Naver Pay). The zipline was great, not scary at all, felt very safe given that we were above water, 10/10 would go again. We originally planned to take the Family course (directly to Nami) but decided to pick the Adventure course (zipline to a nearby island then speedboat to Nami) because of the shorter wait time. Adventure course was more expensive than Family. We paid 105,800krw for 2 people. The dakgalbi restaurant on Nami 10/10 recommend, slightly spicy. Sights on Nami were…normal? Like I wasn’t expecting anything too amazing and that’s what I got. It’s a good waterside/forest-y walk in good weather but nothing too special. I would go only if I lived in Seoul/aren’t pressed for time in travelling and want a relaxing nature day imo. Having a tour guide/bus was also extremely important - booking or buying tickets and going to each of the attractions myself would have been a nightmare.
1 in 1 cup: amazing view, and we went on a weekday evening so there was literally nobody else on the rooftop. Breathtaking view of the hanoks especially on a good day without clouds or rain. We didn’t know that we could go up to the rooftop from behind the cafe without paying, so we paid for terrible tasting drinks unfortunately. But still worth it.
Aquafield Goyang: 100% worth it if you have the time to relax. We were on a tight schedule and could only spend 1 hour in the actual jjimjilbang unfortunately, I would stay the whole day if I could. Bought tickets onsite as there’s usually onsite discounts for entry after 3/4pm. Was not crowded but still had a respectable flow of people in and out of various spas/rooms. Did not go into the sauna (you have to go completely naked) as we were not comfortable with that. The jjimjilbang is a separate area where you wear the provided clothes and sweat in rooms with different temperatures. Food court was wonderful. Spas were clean, very very spacious, very relaxing, wonderful experience 10/10.
COEX: Very good spot for last-minute shopping as there were many brands concentrated in one area. Huge mall with the Starfield Library, which was a bit underwhelming given all the tourists jostling for the perfect photo, and COEX Aquarium which I was pleasantly surprised by - the stamps at each area was quite fun, and the mermaid performance was fun as I'd never seen one before. I thought there was a hands-on doctor fish treatment or interactive fish-touching areas/events(?) but there wasn't any so I was slightly disappointed.
Clothes/Olive Young
If you’re looking for feminine, cheap clothes with less regard for quality, PLEASE visit underground malls and Myeongdong. Outstanding mentions include WANTT in Myeongdong (12900krw pants, SO comfortable, I went there three times. 15000krw jeans, 9000krw crop tops, etc.), Gotomall (huge underground mall), and Myeongdong underground mall.
I went to an Olive Young store at least once a day and it was still not enough!! Cosmetics are so cheap and the staff are soooo helpful, they can all speak basic English and if you're finding something specific just show them a screenshot or a Korean translation of what you need. I regret not buying more makeup and skincare products honestly. It's so cheap and good quality. Apparently prices for the same products can be different at different branches? Idk cause I never checked but I still bought anything I saw because it might not be in stock at the next branch, especially popular brands like CLIO and peripera, I couldn't find everything I wanted because specific shades were all out of stock.
10/10 trip, can't wait to go back to Seoul (and Jeju hopefully)

I live in the US, but I was born in the Middle East. I came here when I was five with my mom shortly after my dad came. He got cancer but my mom took care of him so much he recovered using chemo. After my dad’s cancer recovery my parents got a divorce. Unfortunately he got cancer again three years ago and he died last year. I am under eighteen and he wrote in his will that I will get my inheritance when I turn 15-17, I don’t remember. He and my mother weren’t on good terms so he gave his best friend full authority over the will sharing. That friend of his took over a lot of my dad’s belongings including his phone. I’m not guaranteed but I’m pretty sure he stole my inheritance. The inheritance wasn’t much since my dad was renting a basement when he died but it was enough to buy me a stable used car. I am doing good in school and planning on going to an Ivy league college hopefully in the future. Since college is expensive I was planning on using the inheritance to get by more easily. For context me and my dad’s friend aren’t in contact so I don’t think he is ever going to contact me. My mother had said something about my dad owing money to him so I predict he used it as his money back. My dad’s side of family like him and still think he is this amazing great guy. A little context about my dad. When my dad recovered the first time he had cancer my parents wanted to divorce but they couldn’t since my mom was under my dad’s case. Divorce would make her have no case and therefore unable to stay in America. My dad had threatened her many times that he would get her out of his case and she would have to move back to her home country leaving me. Eventually they agreed to get a divorce when my mom got her own case. Until she did they had to live together. They had broke up just not legally yet. My mom caught my dad texting another girl he had met online. She confronted him and she said she was okay with it. A while later my mom met a guy at work and they started texting. He had a similar situation. He was getting a divorce too and had kids. They started texting and met up like twice for coffee. My dad found out by looking through my mom’s phone when she was away. He printed their text messages and one they when we had guests over he threw the papers on her face. Then he spread lies that she had cheated even though they had broke up and he found someone else first. I wasn’t there to witness any of that but my mom told me. My dad’s side of the family obviously believed my dad and thought my mom left my dad when he was sick and cheated on him. They still think he is some saint and the kindest best person alive. He has donated and helped out a lot of families with money even though he didn’t pay child support for years and my didn’t put him in jail. They all hated my mom because they didn’t know the truth. Someone who really hated her was my aunt let’s name her Sam. Sam kept telling my dad to do all these horrible things to my mom. She told him to cook me good food so I would love my dad more because my mom was too tired to cook. Even though when my dad had cancer my mom cooked so many delicious and nutritious foods for my dad while working two shifts to take care of us. Sam told my dad to tell me bad things about my mom so I would hate her even though I was 5. My mom showed me all her hurtful words calling my mom a whore and telling my dad to make me hate her. In where I’m from you can’t be any other religion except one. My mom had friends from other religions and she said that she has picture proof that she is part of that religion. And she wanted my dad to send her to her home country so she could expose her and have her killed. She has done so many unimaginable things I just can’t believe. Since my dad is dead, where I am from the child goes to the dad after divorce in my case 9 years old for girls. My mom has trust issues with my dad’s side of the family so she wants them to go sign a specific paper saying that I will be allowed to come back to America since they can ban that. They didn’t sign it. Instead they sent a wordy voice message to my mom saying that she would do that to my dad and that’s why she is scared to let me come see my entire family. Me going to see my home country isn’t just for them. It’s my entire mom’s side of the family which not me or my mom have seen for 8 years. My mom doesn’t want to leave me alone with my stepdad and stepbrothers and go see them. The family I have now isn’t by blood but it’s with more love than my dad’s side of the family and Sam have for me. I know my grandma is old and might not live long and she calls me every day even though I have told them for over a year that I can only talk on weekends because of school but shocker no boundaries respected. She misses me but I don’t. I am a recovering people pleaser and right now my health is more important than their opinions . So AITA if I completely cut out my dad’s side of the family after what they did?

Am I (23F) Wrong for being mad at my BF (M25) after he ignored me while being on a business trip and the day after?
So first, I'm new here so I, but want to set one thing straight; this happened 1 year ago, but he still mocks me about it and sometimes leads to a small argument.
So here is what happened.
My boyfriend went on a business trip for half a week, we normally call every day to check up on ourselves, but I understood that on occasions like this sometimes calls don’t work. So i at least hoped that he texts me, be nope he sends a text at the beginning that he is busy the whole time and didn’t answer after.
I told him that's okay, but he has to make sure that he tells me that he is on his way back (it's a train trip to another country, and I'm always really worried about him because, due to complications in life, he is the only thing I have left.
So on the day when the trip back was scheduled I tried reaching out to him several times trying to get at least an online sign of him. I tried it before the scheduled trip time, during it and even at the evening, no response not even online which made me really worried.
I checked the morning after and saw that he was online, still no response. Furthermore, I thought to myself, maybe he was tired and just went to sleep? But things stayed like this, the whole day no response, but I caught him being online a lot which lead me to question a friend if she knows what he is up to. She got baffled and told me he was texting her the whole time without issue, which made me realize he’s actually ignoring me.
It took another day for him to finally call me, I was mad about the whole situation because he had me worried like hell till I got the information he was just ignoring me. Normally, if he doesn’t have time during a day, he would at least read some of my messages before calling me to catch up, but even that didn’t bother him.
Note, no screaming or anything did happen, but I told him I'm Mad because he literally ignored me and preferred, in my eyes in that situation, another girl over me. I didn't want to get more mad at him in that call, but he started calling me out and saying I'm way too overreacting and how I dare interrupt his time there and that I don’t have boundaries because I’m being mad at him. So I ended the call nearly crying and quick to not start screaming and calm down.
I also told him that I don’t want this to happen again and that I just want to know if he’s ok. Is that wrong on my part?
**TL;DR;**: In Summary, he ignored me during and the days after the trip while I wanted to make sure if he's OK. I found out he was texting to a female friend of mine the whole time and just ignored me. Then he got mad at me for not having boundaries because"I was mad at him having time alone" while I only texted him to make sure if he's okay and send like 3 messages a day.

I 30F am married happily to 30M. We live away from all of my family which is a first for my extended family. I live about 20 hours away from my sister Joan (28F) and about 12 hours away from my other sister Jenna (22FtM, maybe?). Jenna lives with our parents still and is getting her therapy degree, at least I think that's the degree? We don't talk so I have no idea tbh.
That's where the topic comes in. Jenna came out to us (our parents and both sisters) as possibly trans back in November. I don't have any issues. You do you as long as you aren't hurting yourself or pushing your ideals into someone else's face or trying to get someone else to 100% agree with you or they are "dead" to you.
My parents are stubborn and so are we. We are all strong-willed and when we form an opinion it is hard to get us to change it. I'm less that way than my other sisters and parents but still stubborn.
When Jenna came out to me it was over text. They came out with a new name and specifically said their old name "Jenna" (in this case) was their deadname and that they use they/them pronouns.
A lot to wrap my mind around but it is what it is. Again, if you aren't hurting anyone, you do you.
I didn't react as mature as I wish I would have and apologized shortly after. I was going through a lot because back in November (beginning) I found out I was pregnant on a Tuesday and by the Friday I was spotting and I miscarried that weekend. That weekend was the weekend before Thanksgiving and Thanksgiving day our Grandmother passed away at 93. It was expected but still very sad. I was also interviewing to move jobs to a better paying one and I started a new one first week of December. So that whole month was a whirlwind of emotions. I am not excusing it, just explaining. I shouldn't have reacted as I should I was an asshole for that. I will admit.
I was very hard on her because I wanted to make sure she really researched this and wasn't just trying to fall into a crowd and regret it later in life. I was trying to look out for her but I didn't show that in the best light. She blocked me for a bit and around Thanksgiving unblocked me (due to the circumstances).
Her birthday is also around that time and I wished her a Happy Birthday and this was her response to that:

One last chance. If you want to follow through with respecting me, then use my new name and pronouns. I am Jack. I go by they/them pronouns. Jenna is my deadname. Calling me that upsets me. Please respect this.

This is how she acted the entire time I was asking her questions before she blocked me. She said I disrespected her by asking her questions like the following:

What happens if you don't get Testosterone if SHTF and they are out of the meds?
Do you really want to rely on something that you have to take every day for the rest of your life?
Why do you want to fight your body so much to be another gender?

While I didn't say those questions in that way, that is the gist. I also had other issues like how there are reports of LGBTQ-whatever people (the name is getting way to long for me to remember so later I will refer to them as "the gang" I don't mean anything negative by it, it is just tiring to type out) saying "We are coming for your children!" in marches and stuff so I brought that up.
She just thinks me having a differing opinion and wanting the best for her (and her to not make a medical mistake by cutting her boobs off and later regretting it when she is my age or later) is disrespecting her.
We were never close growing up cause of the age difference and I was always jealous that her and Joan were close. So, Jenna and I haven't talked since end of February and I don't think we will except for special occasions.
During that whole process my dad (62M) blocked me on Discord due to how I reacted and my opinions on everything. He unblocked me after medical issues happened with him and he was able to think about it but now I know that if he finds out about something happening with my sisters, I could lose him too. Which sucks.
Anyway, Joan also blocked me because she thinks the gang could do no wrong and doesn't believe the countless news stories I sent her. We have talked up until Wednesday but I am going no contact with her now. Lately, I would text her something like:

Hubby said I can't use our future Subaru for work so I want to start being petty with him with the car. I need ideas lol We paid off my car this week btw. Yay!

She took it seriously, like we weren't communicating and being silly. Hubby doesn't care and it isn't that big of a deal. We share everything. Our communication is great and while it wasn't at first we worked on it and have gotten 1000x better.
She responded being hostile:

Yay for paying off the car. How about you work on communication or you know...since your the one paying for it you get the car...

I'm the primary income earner cause hubby has Autism and it works for us. He will be the stay at home dad when we have kids and we have no issues.
I've since asked her about that and she agrees she shouldn't have said this but since I said I wanted to be "petty" she thought the lol didn't mean anything and just went towards us having an issue in our marriage. I showed Hubby while we were texting (when this was originally happening back in February) and we were both shocked.
Last we talked I tried to clear the air and I tried to talk to her about how she always comes at me and I feel (used those words exactly) as if I come at her with a joke or something not serious and she punches me in the face without asking me if this is serious or a joke first. She just comes swinging.
It has been like this since the Jenna situation back in November.
What started this whole thing was me trying to get another perspective on why people were outraged over the whole Farm Folks' tweet about boob jiggle physics. I find it hilarious but she was insulted by it and I was trying to ask why and she would just attack me when I was legit trying to understand. I was even screenshotting the texts as it was happening and asking my friend and my friend could tell I was trying to get another POV (cause my friend also thinks it is just funny) and also didn't understand why Joan was coming out swinging.
So, I cut it off. I don't have her blocked but message notifications are silenced and if she calls (doubt she will) I will just let it go to voicemail. She wanted me to call (cause this was during work) and clear the air but there is nothing that I could say or she could say that couldn't be said over text. We have differing opinions and while we used to be close, we are close no more.
I cut them off for their lack of trying to understand my perspective as well as just being hostile towards me because I have a different opinion than they do.
Am I in the wrong for cutting them off? How do I tell my parents this has happened? They are coming to visit soon so I want to do this in person.
My mom (62F) is a people pleaser and just wants to keep the peace so she will try to talk to my sisters but I want to make it clear that there is nothing they could say (my sisters) at this point that will help. Should I be worried about my dad cutting me off? It seems like he is on the same side as Joan where the gang can do no wrong. I realize it isn't all of them, in fact, there are A LOT, including myself (I'm bi), that disagree with the whole children thing and just want them to stop forcing their views on the rest of the world. Just let people live.
TL;DR I cut my sisters off because they weren't trying to see my perspective on 22FtM coming out as trans and 28F was just hostile to me ever since. Dad 62M blocked me and then unblocked me on discord (where we talk primarily) due to my views as well as so he seems on the same board as 28F and so I am worried about losing him too. Am I in the wrong for cutting them off? How do I tell my parents this has happened? They are coming to visit soon so I want to do this in person.

I'm literally new on Reddit and I specifically created this account because I have this story I want to tell and see different opinions about it. I've already talked with friends about this topic and I'm expecting the answers in the post, but I'd like to know an outside perspective of my situation. First, I'd like to apologize if my english is not that good since it's my second language. And, second, that this story is quite long.
I've been dating my ex for a year in which we lived together and spent time doing couple's things. She was an exchange student so the time for her to leave the country was near. I've had already a long distance relationship before and it didn't end well (my ex cheated on me), so the idea of having another long distance wasn't attractive to me. However after talking with my ex we agree on trying and see how things were going. When she went back to her home country everything was going good. We were chatting a lot, she was sending me pictures and we got a lot of communication. Slowly I started noticing that she was not talking like she used to and the "I love you" that I said was replied with a "I like you too". Now I know people would think that she found another guy and I already know that was not the case (by some conversation in the future), but it was more the feeling she had while she was with my and our friends. She got really down and it was not easy for her to get back to her place, which I understad. I tried to cheer her up and make her open to me about how she feels (basically trying to do a BF's job), but she was just really down, but it got so bad that it started to affecting me and I feel that she stopped trusting me and telling me things, untill I decide to give us a break to put in order our lives and see how we can work on it before. After that we kept still talking as much as we can and couple of days passed I thought I was a little rude by asking for a time so I told her that I want to support her and give her as much as I can as her BF and she told me that she can't take the relationship because is hard for her having a long distance (which I totally respect), so we decide to oficially break up.

In the mean time, some new students came to the university including this other girl (I'll call her Ana). Ana and I started talking while I was having this problems with my ex and she was very supportive in those hard moments. However, she started to develop feelings for me and it was very strong ones to the point that she was seducing me to do stuff but I reject her many times because I was trying to figure it out things with my ex and I wasn't interested, but she stayed on my side as a friend. After months passed and oficially broke up with my ex I decided to start enjoying time with Ana since we had good chemistry. We did what you guys think we did, but we are not dating, we are more like friends with benefits. Winter vacation came and I got a very big episode of depression thanks to the break up, but we still being texting to each other (me and my ex), to the point that I almost lost friends thanks to my attitude. By this time, my ex was going to Thailand to study untill the end of the year (this information is important). Ana was the only one staying on my side and giving me a new perspective of love which is people staying with you at your worst, and it made me think about my relationship with my ex a lot. At the end of the winter vacation I was trying to get over the break up and start to focus on my attitude and the way I was with people, and thanks to Ana and other persons I could get better. But since I was still in contact with my ex it was a little hard to focus on that, to the point that I was a little mad when she was texting me because I was trying to forget her.

Fast forward to two months ago, I feel that I made a change on myself and I felt that I could finally can be okay with me and my ex. By this time we still talking almost every day and even videochatting, but there was some details that was bothering me such as her flirting a little with me (after telling me to get over her and find new people and distract myself). We manage to get closure in one of the many calls that we had that helped me to figure what do I want and we agreed on just take what life is giving us and if we meet each other in any country, we can try and see how things are going, but for now we wanted to live our lives. But one day I got a call from my ex and she was looking like she was abot to cry and she just asked me "what did you do". I was really confused about the question and I asked her what she meant by that untill I figure it out it was about Ana. I didn't told about her because first, it's my private/sexual life and I didn't want to tell her anything since it was my ex and it would be weird to do, and second, I did got over her so I was talking with her more as a friend than something else. I start telling her about me and Ana and she started ranting saying mean stuff to me, insulting me and telling me that I broke her trust. That night she told me she was upset because she was "my best friend" and I should tell her everything. I told her that since it's my private life I can decide if I want to share that with her or not, but she was not listening to me. At the end of the call I knew she would text me next day so I decided to give her some time to calm down. Next day I got a text that goes something like "not even an apology? the guy who I knew would called me right after the call and start to say sorry" and other things that made me think "what did I do wrong?" (just to specify if it was not clear, I started to do things with Ana months after break up). So after some text she told me that I also started to talk bad about her to other people which I really don't remember doing something like that (I remember saying things that I didn't like in the relationship and that was a episode of I hate you/ I love you after the first month of the break up). However I do apologize in case I did said bad things to her because I felt bad about it, but I didn't apologize about Ana. After that I decided to give her some time to calm her down and we didn't talked for 3 weeks. After that time I couldn't help myself but send her a message to see how she is doing in which she read it but didn't replied.

I woke up at 3 Am for some reason the next day and I saw messages from her chat. First a video of her in the nightclub, tispy and twerking alone, followed by that an audio yelling at me and insulting me. I start to talking with her asking her if we can talk and checking up on her but she kept sending audios full of insults and even her friends were yelling at me. After a while she told me she was going back home and she called me. She started to asking me what do I want, why do I came back to her (I didn't really left, I just wanted to give her time) and many other questions. I explained her why I disappeared and why I'm texting her again. She started to being aggressive to the point that she told me that her ex went to Thailand and they slept together and now she found a new guy (from the same country as me) and some other things. I'm going to be honnest it didn't really bothered me those things since we already are single ppl and we can do whatever we want, but I was just stressing the fact that I want to solve things with her because she is someone that matters to me. After a couple of hours talking, she fell asleep in the call and I decided to hung up.

Next day she texted me asking if she was drunk in the call in which I replied yes, and then she asked me if we can have a call. I was with Ana and a friend as support because I was pretty nervous. When she called me she told me that there are some things that was not mentioned before and that we need to talk to clarify everything. I told her that I agree with the condition that she have to believe me, in which she agreed. We start talking about everything that it happened since she left and how I was feeling, the actions I did and all that. The conversation got so strong with phrases like "I don't know why you came back, you know that I hate you but I love you at the same time". Some tears were dropped but after 5 hours of conversation, everything seemed and felt normal, we were joking around, talking nice and being nice to each other. The called finished with a "I'll call you tomorrow" and I thought everything was solved. The next day I texted her and see how she was doing. She was replying with very short answers saying she was busy in which I answer with a "Whenever you are free let me know to do a little call". After 3 hours she replied with a "I think I'm going to block you, you are the biggest bulshit I've ever met, you big shit" and she blocked me. I was in shock when it happened but I didn't got really sad, just wondering what happened if our call was really nice the day before.

Fast forward to two week ago and no contact after that message, she came to my country to visit our friends. Ofc I wasn't invited in any of the meetings they had and it didn't bother me, I understand what position it was and I was not going to appear if she dindn't wanted to see me. But one of those days we crossed paths while I was eating with Ana. I know Ana and my ex looked at each other, even Ana told me that my ex was a little in shock about it. For me, I already convinced myself that if we meet again I would say hello and keep it polite, but when I was going back to my scooter to go back home with Ana, my ex and my friend were talking next to my scooter and my friend said hi to me, but my ex was looking at her phone or the ground. I took it as she doen't want to interact with me so I didn't say hi. I noticed that she didn't even looked at me for the whole 5 minutes I was standing there, so I decided to leave. Next day my friend asked my why I didn't said hi to her and I explained her the situation, however, after some hours my ex grabbed my friend's phone while she was taking a shower and start texting me with more insults and very bad attitude. I kept it polite and asked her to not include our friend in this and if she wants to talk to me she knows where to find me. That was the last interaction with her. By this time I was already tired and glad that we are not talking and convinced that she was acting crazy. But maybe I'm stupid enough so I texted her last wednesday in my new phone number that she doesn't have it blocked asking her to talk about why she is so angry with me if we already talked about what happened and everything was good in that long call we had, but I haven't got any answer. I really don't know why I did that, I don't have any hope to get back to her, or I don't even think that I want that, but she is really really important to me, so I really don'y know why she is so angry towards me. I'd ike to know what should I do in this situation. I know that many of you might say something like "keep moving" or "nothing to do NEXT" but it's pretty hard and maybe my questions would not have answers but I know she will comeback for summer and I don't want this werid situations and have normal talkings like before.

I am not the OOP. The OOP is u/ThrowRA-3258 posting in relationship_advice
Inconclusive/Ongoing as per OOP
1 update - Medium
Original - 29th April 2024
Update in the same post - 30th April 2024

My (32F) boyfriend (35M) of six years disappeared while I was out of town and I don't know what to do?

Last Tuesday evening I (32F) came home from a being out of town for two weeks for work, my boyfriend (35M) Nate was supposed to pick me up from the airport but once I got in, I wasn't able to get ahold of him and he never showed up, I was a little annoyed but no too worried because I figured he had fallen asleep(When I talked to him earlier that morning he said he didn't sleep very well the night before and was going to lay down before he had to come get me)so I called my sister for a ride home.
When I got home Nate was no where to be found, I checked the garage an his car was gone, so I sent him a text asking where he was and headed up stairs to unpack. When I open the closet to put my things away I saw that almost all of his clothes were gone. At this point I'm confused, so I start calling him it just keeps ringing and then going to voicemail. I check his office and everything is still there, everything in the house is still there and in place except his clothes and his car. I'm really starting to freak out at this point, so I call my sister and she comes over and we both try calling and messaging him and still get no answer. his computer and his laptop are both still in his office, I logged on to his computer and my sister his laptop(I know all his passwords) but we didn't find anything out of the ordinary, so I started searching his desk and found his iPad in the top drawer, I logged into it and checked everything I could think of and found nothing out of the ordinary, my sister suggested checking the find my iPhone app on his iPad to see if we find out where his phone was. We logged into the app and see that his phone was pinging in the next state over, I starting calling him again but still got no answers to my calls or text.
I really start to lose it here, my mind starts going all over the place trying to figure out what could be going on, I called the police because I think someone has to have done something to him. The police came out but they said there wasn't much they could do because he hasn't been gone long and his clothes missing was sign the he left on his own violation.
Over the last few days I've done everything I can to contact him, He doesn't have any family except for a brother that he cut ties with before I met him, I found him online and sent him a message but he said he hasn't seen or heard from Nate in years. I keep checking his phones location and since Saturday morning it has been pinging in the same location in the PNW, I took off work for the rest of the week and my sister and I are flying up there to go to the location his phone is pinging.
Has anyone ever dealt with something like this before? How do I even confront him, what if he is with another woman, what if he isn't there or worse? I am so lost and hurt right now, my mind is all over the place, I can’t think straight, I’m so lost right now.
tl;dr my(32F) boyfriend (35M) of six years disappeared while I was out of town, haven't been able to contact him but his phone is pinging in the PNW and I am going to confront him tomorrow.
Edit: Yes I have called or messaged all of his friends, none of them have seen or heard from him, I do have access to his bank account as we have a joint account but not his business account, He last used his debt card Friday night in a town west of Seattle Washington, He owns his own business but has taken a step back over the last year so he doesn't communicate with them regularly, they haven't heard from him since last month.
I am 5 months pregnant and we have known for 3 months, he did become a bit reserved and withdrawn since we found out but its not uncommon for him to do that every so often especially around this time of year. I don't truly believe that he would abandon me and his child, that's just not the type of man he is but I don't know what to think anymore.

Comments

Big_fat_happy_baby
This situation is weird as fuck. Be careful out there, use common sense. If you can, get law enforcement involved in your destination, if only for your protection.

usernaym44
OP buried the lede: she’s pregnant and bf lost or is estranged from his family. Dude is freaking the fuck out and needs therapy.

Moal
Has he ever dealt with mental health or serious medical issues? Could he be depressed? Or in a fugue state? This is so strange, I hope you find answers soon.

OOP: Nothing like that, I know when he was young boy he had something really traumatic happen to him, he is missing a finger and has scars all down his leg and torso but he refuses to talk about it so I don't press him on it, he is a very laidback and stoic, nothing ever bothers or upsets him. However we did find out I was pregnant a couple months back and since then I have noticed he seems to be a little more withdrawn and reserved but he gets like that sometimes.

Curiobb
Good OP. You deserve answers 100%.
Is his iPad linked to any of his messaging apps? I’m guessing not since you’ve already tried looking through it. I know I would be going absolutely crazy and that it’s easier said than done, but try to keep as calm as possible and know you will get your answers in a few short days. This is absolutely unfair, selfish, and crazy. So sorry you are going through it. There is obviously something VERY wrong if he ran away from home and is typically a caring and thoughtful kind person.
Also about the childhood trauma thing, I’m sure you asked about it upon first meeting him since the finger thing was apparent. Did he just say “I don’t like to talk about that”? I find it absolutely nuts that he has not opened up to you once about it after all this time. What has he said to your family and friends which I’m sure have asked about it if they’ve noticed his hand or seen him in a swimsuit? What’s he planning to tell his child when they will inevitably ask about it? Keeping it an angry secret doesn’t seem sustainable.

OOP: Yeah, the first time I asked him about his finger he said something happened when he was younger and he doesn't has never and will never talk about, I obviously found it odd but figured he would in time he would tell me, I've brought it up a couple times over the relationship and he always just shuts it down and the last time I brought it up was the only time he has ever raised his voice at me, so I just left it alone after that, that was a almost two years ago now. my brother in law asked him about his scars and all he said was it was from an accident he had when he was younger. He talks to me about how he is feeling all the time he is actually really good a communicating his thoughts and feelings, he talks to me about his life before he met me but only goes back to when he was around 21, he rarely mentions anything from his childhood or teens years. I know he was in some trouble with the law those years because he has a marijuana charge on his record from 2007 and when I went through the case notes he was already on probation when he got that charge but I have no idea what for, I found that out this past week as well. Obviously I am missing something but I just don't know what. I never thought he was lying to me or that he would lie to me but now I am questioning if I ever know who he is.

Update - 8 hours later

small update:

first I want say thank you to everyone for suggesting the welfare check epically u/MuppetJonBonJovi We called the the department where his phone is pinging and they have sent someone over to see if they can make contact with him.. Its been over an hour and we are still waiting to hear back. I am hopeful but still have a overbearing since of dread. All I want to know right now is that he is ok and I can figure out everything else later, I just need to know he is ok.

UPDATE:

The police were able to do a welfare check and although they were unable to make direct contact with him they spoke to the couple who live at the house, they said they were old family friends and that he was there on Friday and Saturday but that he went to the Olympics Sunday morning to go hiking for a couple of days, The officers informed them of what was going on and they told him, they believed he was ok and that they would contact me tonight to try and help explain the situation. What does that even mean? I am even more confused, our flight to Seattle is at 9:45am tomorrow and at this point we are still going, I hope these people do call but its been awhile now and I haven't heard anything.

NEW UPDATE:

I think this will be my final update, I have to get ready and get my stuff packed for the flight in the morning, I have just spent the last hour speaking to the couple who house he was at and they against his wishes told me what is going on. They have known Nate since he was 12 years old, he started dating their daughter Ashley when they were in sixth grade and they counited dating all through middle school and high school. Ashley got pregnant toward the end of their senior year and they got engaged. I don't know how to even write this next part, When their son was a 1.5 years old they were involved in an accident with a drunk driver, Nate was ejected from the car and Ashley and his son passed away in the accident, She said that he blames himself for it because according to him they were never supposed to be out that night and it was his fault they were, She said he withdrew from them and everyone else and that up until last Friday that hadn't heard from him since he left. She has offered to come get my sister and I from the airport in the morning and she can try to answer any questions I have while we wait for him to return, She said they know where he is, he is at the spot they spread their ashes, she said he told her that he need be with his son one more time before he let him go... I'm honestly in a total state of shock right now, I don't know what to think but I know he is in pain and I need to get to him and I can figure everything else after.
Thank you to all the kind people who reached out and offered your suggestions, I honestly don't think I would have this information right now if it wasn't for you all, so again thank you!

Comments

sffood
Best I can make of this is that to become a father again, he needed to have closure with the child he had before. I have no idea how to excuse his just taking off on his pregnant girlfriend to do it, abandoning her at the airport and going no contact. That’s pretty despicable, and not something I’d forgive easily. I mean he’s put you guys through hell because he couldn’t even bother to answer his phone. And what is with taking all his clothes… Just weird.

Sorry_I_Guess
It sounds like he may have had a bit of a breakdown. Not excusing it, but this definitely doesn't sound premeditated. More like he had a breakdown over the thought of becoming a father again, and felt he needed closure with the past that he'd just sort of abandoned up until now.

I am not the OOP. Please do not harass the OOP.
Please remember the No Brigading Rule and to be civil in the comments

I know that I’ve been posting on and off for a few years now with little to no luck. Before you tell me I’m too picky… I don’t think I am. We all have different tastes and expectations from the other people and there is nothing wrong with that. And I did try numerous dating sites but it was just… sewage. Not saying men are garbage or anything but these places are just full of horrible people. I have heard my fair share of horror stories from men about women too.
Before I move onto trying to sell myself in the best way possible so that some poor soul decides to message me, please read below:
You: -a straight man -aged 29 - 48 -located in Europe, UK or US (time difference no more than 6h; unless you work nights) -must speak English (how else are we going to communicate) -child free (and wants to remain child free; if you’re undecided it won’t work, sorry) -monogamous -no preference when it comes to looks or height; although an impeccable personal hygiene is a must (you’d be surprised how many people don’t wash daily). -loyal, affectionate, funny, patient (a lot of it needed with me), caring, kind and understanding. And yes, I am capable of giving the same back). -in full time employment (if we’re long distance, how else are you going to fund your travels) -no addictions (that includes weed, the smell is shocking); occasional alcohol consumption is fine.
And to sum this up, I’m after a best friend and a partner in crime. A soulmate even. Someone to come into my life and not change it or even change me, just to continue with me leaving everything the way it is. Someone to fall in love with me and treat me like I’m their most precious possession. Someone to navigate through this so called life. Someone who is, like myself a flawed human being but bring the best in me. Don’t give up on me and I won’t give up on you.
I won’t respond to any messages along the lines of ‘hi’ ‘hru’. I will not budge on the age or location either (no matter how amazing and mature you think you are).
If your profile contains anything inappropriate, I won’t respond either.
I’d like to think that I made myself clear.
Just one more thing (I promise this is the last one !!!):
This is not to gain any sympathy nor a cry for help, this is more of a pre warning. A lot of people would get their hopes up about me and once things didn’t go as they wanted them to go, would then drop me like a sack of spuds. Please do not think of me any differently, i am still a capable person.
I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder at the very young age, as well as severe anxiety (by an actual professional, none of that self diagnosis stuff). I do take medication for it but some days are worse than the others and so on. I’ve been on a waiting list now for ages and each time I enquiry about counselling I’m being turned down due to the high demand. I cannot afford to go privately and I am 2 years away from seeing someone, as we speak.
I also suffer from fibromyalgia (don’t ask me ‘wtf is this; just google it) in late 2019 after having all possible tests done to rule out any other problems. I have days when I’m extremely exhausted and in excruciating pain. I still go to work and still try to be function normally as much as possible. I’ve been prescribed all sorts of meds to deal with any pain but just like with the antidepressants, they don’t always work.
Without any further ado.
My name is Anita and I’m a 29yo Eastern European woman, living in the UK just outside of Bristol. I’ve been here for the last 17 years and I consider myself England my home. I’m not considering moving back at any point in my life (however I’ll move elsewhere for the right reasons and right person). I will share my exact location once we’re acquainted a bit more.
I’m 6ft tall (yes I am this tall and I’m aware that it’s way too tall for a woman) and. weight approx 13st or 200lbs (my weight keeps fluctuating a lot and no, I’m not looking for any tips to lose weight). I dye my hair red but it’s more like ginger these days. I have green eyes (they’re useless as I wear glasses) and I wear a lot of black eyeliner lol. I guess you could say I’m kinda emo/goth?
An extreme introvert since I was a young one (definitely not shy, in fact I can get a bit volatile when it comes to standing up for myself). I don’t need to get out of my shell, so none of that please. I like my own company as well as my loved ones; and leaving the house only for work and groceries suits me well.
I’m a vegetarian (not a deal breaker if you’re not; your choice is to eat meat and mine isn’t. Respect it and you shall receive the same back). I think it’s time for everyone live and let others live too.
Tea, coffee and snack addict! (I love herbal tea with no sugar or milk; coffee wise I like a good cap or a caramel macchiato as a treat. Snack wise anything goes really. Fruit, crisps, cake and sweets!)
Bookworm (I haven’t read in a long time, I love books I promise. Just haven’t had much time lately. I have a stack of them which is growing. I need to finally find some time and immerse myself in one of many crime novels I have).
Apolitical (now, I read the news everyday but I do not support any of the parties. They don’t care about you or me, sorry to break this to you).
Animal lover (I have 4 rescued cats two boys and two girls aged between 10-11 who are my absolute life. In total, my mum and I have rescued about 60 cats in the last 10 years. We found them safe and loving homes but for some of them unfortunately it was too late).
No addictions here (I don’t drink or smoke; although I like my vapes a lot).
In my spare time (whatever I get of it) I like to go for walks, listen to music and podcasts, nap, watch tv, chill with my mum and cats, go shopping and grab a coffee with my ma, visit my brother in London, over eat, over think and read books.
I don’t really have any hobbies.
I don’t game religiously but I do enjoy sims 4 (someone told me that isn’t gaming although I’d say it’s a computer game so clues in the name but what do I know, right?) I don’t watch anime either, tried once and couldn’t get into it.
As you can tell, I’m just a relatively unremarkable human being, trying to find her place in this world. And I’m happy about that, being in the limelight is the last thing I know.
With that being said, if you managed to get through my ramblings and they somewhat resonated with you, shoot me a message.
Message me with your name, age and location and what caught your eye about my post. Don’t have to send me your picture right away; I won’t send mine until I’m comfortable enough. To show that you have read, end your message with ‘toodlepip’.
I will respond as soon as I can but please note that there might be delays in messaging back due to well… life being life I suppose.
And if you didn’t like what you read… well then scroll along, no need to let me know about this in the comments or to message me to call me names. It’s nice to be nice.
Thank you for reading this and looking forward to seeing some messages. If not, best of luck in your search!!!

“The Darling Twins? Honestly, haven’t we all had enough of them by now?” Seneca ruminated as he tried to placate what was now the de facto triumvirate of the Ophion Occult Order.
Once again, he had been summoned to Adderwood Manor to account for his lapses in judgement, but rather than being on full public display in the Grand Hall, he instead found himself in a relatively small parlour. Across from the coffee table in front of him sat Ivy Noir, with her sister Envy to her right and her husband Erich to her left. Standing just to the side of them was the trenchcoat and fedora-wearing automaton who called himself The Mandrake. The one-eyed dream-catcher carved into his iridescent face rendered his emotions unreadable, but the spellwork pistols holstered in his belt made it clear that he was prepared to defend his employers against anything.
“I mean, this feud between them and Emrys is laughable,” Seneca went on. “They’re no threat to him now that he’s free of his chains, surely? Before there may have been a tactical element to his obsession with them, but now it’s just plain petty. Petra’s just out for revenge, and don’t get me started on the absurdity of that eldritch realtor wanting to flip their playroom. Does he think he can just relabel their torture chambers as BDSM dungeons and pass the Black Bile infestation off as some mould?”
“Seneca, I promised Emrys the Darlings, and the Covenant that we all signed binds us to fulfill that promise,” Ivy reminded him patiently, dropping a cube of sugar into her ouroboros-themed antique teacup. “You knew the Darlings better than any of us. You inducted them into the Order, you used them as assassins and bodyguards, and you let them withdraw every penny they had in your bank when they were fugitives!”
“Well, first of all, Crow, Crowley & Chamberlain is a financial institution, not a bank,” Seneca said flippantly. “Secondly, they had a numbered account and they didn’t show up in person, so the teller didn’t have the slightest idea of who they were dealing with.”
“You still could have frozen the account before they had that opportunity,” Erich stated.
Seneca made a display of languidly stirring some cream into his tea and taking a slow sip before responding.
“I’m very busy,” he claimed without an ounce of sincerity.
“You just didn’t want to get on the Darlings’ bad side,” Ivy said.
“I wasn’t aware they had a good side,” Seneca shrugged.
“There must be a paper trail we can follow,” Envy insisted. “Did the Darlings keep their assets anywhere else besides your bank?”
“Financial institution, and yes, I’m sure they have a proverbial Swiss bank account, but I haven’t the slightest notion of where to find it,” Seneca claimed. “It has come up in conversation that James invested about twenty percent of his income with me, twenty percent elsewhere, and shoved another twenty percent under their mattress. Mary enjoys being shagged on top of money, apparently. Their services commanded quite a high price on the underworld market, and sixty-plus years of compound interest have made them incredibly wealthy. They can afford to lie low for a long while.”
“Even if they can go without a paycheck indefinitely, they can’t go without killing,” Erich countered. “They need to hunt, and their egos mean they aren’t just going to cower from Emrys inside their playroom. They’re going to be out looking for victims and plotting against us, and you know what spots they’re likely to hit.”
“You’re wasting your time. James has had decades to scout out hunting grounds, and I’m sure he prepared for the possibility – no, inevitability – that he and his sister would become our enemies. He’s not going to risk showing up within a hundred miles of any of our Chapterhouses if he doesn’t need to,” Seneca said dismissively.
Ivy opened her mouth to speak, but stopped when The Mandrake took a step forward for the first time since the meeting began. He reached into his pocket and tossed a red and white pack of cigarettes with a shiny silhouette of a stag onto the coffee table.
“What is this?” Erich asked.
“Satin Stag cigarettes,” The Mandrake said flatly before shifting his gaze to Seneca. “That’s the Darlings’ brand, isn’t it, Mr. Chamberlain?”
“Um, yes. I believe I’ve seen them smoke those once or twice. What of it?” Seneca asked, failing to hide the nervousness creeping into his voice.
“These are artisanal cigarettes, and Harrowick County’s the only place you can buy them,” The Mandrake said. “That means that the Darlings, either directly or indirectly, are going to have to make the occasional sojourn back home, and the limited supply of these hand-rolled coffin nails means they can’t stock up too far in advance either. You know Harrowick County better than any of us. You know who makes these, you know who sells them. That’s how we track down the Darlings.”
“That’s preposterous. Do you really think they’d risk coming to Harrowick County rather than just switch brands?” Seneca scoffed.
“The Very Important Person at Pascal’s told me that Mary said they’ve been smoking these since they were kids, so they’re clearly pretty attached to them,” The Mandrake replied. “And somehow, I don’t think they’re the type to ever give up a bad habit.”
***
“Smoke & Mirrors ~ Fine Tobacco Products. Silvano Santoro, Proprietor. Est. 1949,” Envy read aloud as she, Seneca and The Mandrake stood outside the small, heavily fortified brick building.
Cast iron bars crisscrossed the windows and front door, which looked like it stood a decent chance of withstanding a police swat team. Security was obviously the shop’s proprietor’s key concern, as the ugly brown and yellow awning was tattered and faded, and the paint on the sign was so chipped it was barely even legible.
“How exactly does an unnoticeable and unattractive hole in the wall like this stay in business?” Envy asked.
“Repeat customers,” Seneca replied as he took a confident step towards the door. “Silvano knows me, and he doesn’t normally have a problem with me bringing guests along, but I expect both of you to be on your best behaviour!”
Envy gave him a reassuring nod, but The Mandrake continued to stoically stare at nothing with his hands in his pockets. Rolling his eyes, Seneca pressed a bulky plastic button on the antiquated door buzzer.
“Yeah, who is it?” a harsh and smoke-damaged voice demanded.
“It’s Seneca, Silvano. A pleasure to make your acquaintance again as well!” Seneca answered. “Just looking to pick up a few cases of cigars for a party, if you’ve got anything decent in stock, of course.”
“Who’s that you got with you?” Silvano asked suspiciously.
“Envy Noir, sir. I’m here on behalf of my sister Ivy, investigating a matter of considerable importance to the Ophion Occult Order,” Envy promptly introduced herself, much to Seneca’s chagrin. “The gentleman beside me is my bodyguard. Would you be so kind as to let us in?”
“Ah… of course. Just a moment, please,” Silvano replied.
“What’s he need a moment to buzz open a door for?” The Mandrake demanded, his stance immediately switching to full readiness.
“Making the place presentable for customers, I assume,” Seneca explained in exasperation.
“You mean he’s hiding evidence, or he’s running!” The Mandrake shouted.
“He’s a nonagenarian heavy smoker. He couldn’t run if his life depended on it,” Seneca insisted.
“I’ll see about that,” The Mandrake muttered.
Shoving Seneca out of the way, he kicked the door in with barely any effort. Storming into the shop, he saw a slender older man with thick white hair and rimmed glasses seated behind the front counter. His saggy, spotted skin was a living PSA against the products he peddled, and in his tobacco-stained hand, he held the receiver of an ornate rotary phone.
Staring at The Mandrake in cold fury, he calmly set the receiver back down in its cradle.
“Who were you talking to?” The Mandrake demanded.
“A client,” Silvano barked back with a shake of his head, picking up a burning cigarette from a nearby ashtray.
“Silvano, I am profusely sorry for this abject and uncouth behaviour! This being is no friend of mine, I can assure you,” Seneca asserted as he and Envy made their way inside.
“The feeling’s mutual, Chamberlain,” The Mandrake remarked. “Mr. Santoro, I apologize for the damage to the premises, but as Miss Noir has said, we’re here on urgent business.”
“Yes, that’s correct. We’ve been given to understand the Darling Twins are regular customers of yours,” Envy explained, before the smoke-saturated room sent her into a coughing spell. She fumbled around in her purse and pulled out a black N95 mask she had left over from the Pandemic.
“I’ve got plenty of regular customers,” Silvan replied defensively. “Customers who pay good money for that smoke you’re so offended by, young lady.”
“These ones have been coming here for over half a century and never aged a day,” The Mandrake said.
“That honestly doesn’t narrow it down that much,” Silvano chuckled, tapping his cigarette on his ashtray. “But yeah, I know the Darlings. What of it?”
“When was the last time they were here?” The Mandrake demanded.
“What’s it to you?” Silvano asked.
“They’re fugitives of the Order now and we want them brought in,” Envy replied, having donned her mask and mostly recovered from the smoke. “Mary Darling held a knife to my throat once in front of my sister, and later threatened to eat me alive in front of her and feed me to her pigs.”
“They were going to put me in their daughter’s doll collection,” The Mandrake muttered.
“And I have nothing but nice things to say about the Darlings, so I’m honestly not quite sure how I got dragged into this,” Seneca said. “That aside, it really would be of great help to us if you could share any information about them that you might have.”
“I don’t know what to tell you. They come in, they buy their smokes, they leave, just like most of my customers,” Silvano told them.
“But now they’re trying to lay low, so I’m guessing they’ve made some sort of arrangement with you to get their Satin Stag cigarettes without having to risk coming here in person,” The Mandrake said. “Maybe they set you up with one of their spare Retrovisions? Emrys said they had a few of those lying around, and they can use them as direct portals to their playroom.”
“Like they’d waste a fancy piece of technomancy like that on an old geezer like me. I haven’t seen them in months. Last year sometime, I think,” Silvano claimed.
The Mandrake casually strolled up to the front counter, rapping his fingers on the cheap glass display case.
“Real nice place you got here, Mr. Santoro. I mean, not really, but I’m sure you get the implication,” he said softly. “Ironic as it may be, a smoke shop isn’t exempt from municipal bylaws about smoking in public buildings and workspaces. You may not have had much trouble with local law enforcement before, but one phone call from my employers will change that real quick.”
“You think I’ve never been threatened before, punk?” Silvano asked, rising from his chair and staring him down.
“Boys, please, there’s no need for this,” Envy interjected. “Mr. Santoro, our Order has considerably more resources at its disposal than the Darlings, and we can certainly offer you a far greater reward for their capture than whatever they’re paying you for some cigarettes. You could retire; close this place down and get as far away as you like. How does that sound?”
“I’m not looking to retire, Miss. This business is all I’ve got, and it wouldn’t be good business to go around ratting out my best customers, now would it?” Silvano asked.
“It would be worse business to sacrifice everything you have to protect two customers,” The Mandrake threatened, his hands clamping down on the display cases so hard they began to creak. “Talk.”
Acknowledging him only with a furtive glance, Silvano took another drag from his cigarette and exhaled.
But this time, the smoke poured out from his mouth and nostrils without limit.
“What the hell?” The Mandrake cursed as he backed away.
Silvano pushed a button beneath the counter, putting his shop into lockdown with security shutters clamping down over every entrance point. As the smoke exuded from his body, it went limp and collapsed into a dried-out husk as the smoke coalesced into an animate form of its own, circling above them around the shop’s yellowed and textured ceiling.
“Damnit. Another egregore,” Envy muttered. “That explains his loyalties. The Darlings couldn’t eat him, but Emrys could.”
“So you’re saying we can’t negotiate it with it?” The Mandrake asked.
“Or fight it,” Envy clarified.
“In that case, it appears we’ve exhausted all our options. Time for a tactical retreat,” Seneca declared as he dashed for the now barricaded exit.
Whatever he was planning to do to get through it, the cloud of smoke cut him off before he got the chance. Rushing in through his nose and mouth, it immediately began suffocating him, sending him spasming to the ground as he choked for air.
The cloud assaulted Envy as well, but was unable to penetrate her mask.
“Godamnit, get away!” she shouted as she swatted it away from her burning eyes.
“Envy, get behind me now!” The Mandrake ordered as he drew out his pistols. “Sorry, Santoro, but you’re going to have to do a lot worse than that if you want to intimidate us!”
Seneca responded by gasping angrily and bashing his hand against the carpet.
“… A lot worse,” The Mandrake reiterated. “I may not be able to shoot you, but I will blow this health hazard you love so much to hell if you don’t tell me where I can find the Darlings!”
“There’ll be no need for that, Mr. Mandrake,” the voice of James Darling crackled in from some unseen speaker. A door off to the side slowly creaked open, revealing a Retrovision flickering with black and white static. The Mandrake wasted no time in shooting at it, but the bullets passed through the glass without causing any damage at all.
A hologram of James Darling manifested in the center of the room, a burning Satin Stag cigarette clutched neatly in his fingers. He saw Seneca suffocating on the floor, then turned his predatory and calculating gaze towards The Mandrake.
“Put the guns on the floor, and I’ll call Silvano off,” he offered.
The Mandrake didn’t seem to be the least bit tempted by this offer, but Envy tugged at his trenchcoat and gave him a commanding nudge. Reluctantly, The Mandrake tossed the guns to the carpet and placed his hands behind his head.
With only a single commanding wag of his index finger, the smoke cloud withdrew from Seneca’s lungs and collected itself above James like a thundercloud.
“No sense in killing you, Seneca. That would practically be doing Emrys a favour,” James said. “But Envy, what’s a pretty girl like you doing wearing a mask?”
“You’d better not let your sister hear you calling me that,” Envy taunted.
“Kind of you to worry, but it’s always the object of my flirtations who bear the brunt of my sister’s wrath,” James reminded her smugly. “Top-notch detective work tracking me down, Mr. Mandrake. Why don’t you walk in through the Retrovision and arrest me?”
“You knew we’d show up here looking for you. You were waiting for us,” The Mandrake growled.
“Again, brilliant detective work. You’ve truly earned that fedora,” James mocked him. “Yes, I knew you’d come here looking for us, so I’ve arranged for Mr. Santoro to set up shop inside our playroom. He was only hanging around here to set a trap for you. Let me tell you what’s going to happen. None of you, not even you, Mr. Mandrake, are going to be able to break out of this building. You can sit there and starve for all I care, or Miss Noir and The Mandrake could take their chances with us on the other side of the Retrovision. Sara Darling really would like to put you in her doll collection, Mr. Mandrake, and I can’t wait to tell Mary Darling exactly how pretty I think you are, Envy. If the two of you come across, I’ll let Seneca go and he can inform Erich and Ivy of your predicament. If they’d like to negotiate for your release, I… may be willing to consider it.”
“You’re a coward! If you’re going to threaten me, step across that screen and do it to my face!” the Mandrake ordered.
He took his hands off his head and took a step towards him, only for the acrid form of Silvano to interject itself between them. James took a casual drag from his cigarette, refusing even to flinch.
Envy took advantage of the distraction and grabbed the pair of spellwork pistols off of the floor, firing two rounds of consecrated lead into the limp body of Silvano. While the body didn’t react at all, the smoke cloud shook and screeched like a wounded animal, losing some of its integrity and dissipating across the room.
“That body’s not just a husk! Silvano’s bound to it!” Envy declared. “James, if you don’t let us go in the next thirty seconds I’ll have The Mandrake tear that body limb from limb and you’ll have to find some other cursed thoughtform to roll your cigarettes for you.”
The Mandrake looked back towards James who now, much to his satisfaction, had flinched.
“Thirty. Twenty-Nine. Twenty-Eight,” he began to count down as he theatrically cracked his knuckles.
Before James could come to a decision, a few wisps of smoke snaked their way back into Silvano’s body. They were enough to animate it like a marionette, its limbs moving jerkily as it input the code to retract the security shutters over the doors and windows.
“There, happy?” James asked facetiously. “You’re free to leave. Put those guns down.”
With a smug smile, Envy shook her head.
“Mandrake, grab that body. We’re taking him with us,” she announced.
When Silvano tried to slam the lockdown button again, Envy shot him, knocking him back into his seat. Before he was able to try a second time, The Mandrake had closed the distance between them. He grabbed him by the waist and slung him over his shoulder, impotently kicking and flailing like a toddler having a tantrum all the while.
“No!” James growled, his hologram disappearing and being replaced by countless others scattered throughout the room.
“What the hell?” Envy demanded as she fell back beside The Mandrake for protection.
“It’s a distraction! Shoot at the Retrovision! He’s coming through to get Silvano!” The Mandrake shouted.
Envy complied, firing multiple rounds at every image of James between them and the Retrovision, but all of them sailed clear through their targets. The smoke cloud suddenly condensed tightly around them, and The Mandrake made a break for the front door while he had the chance.
He was tackled from the side by someone moving at over fifty kilometers an hour, knocking him down and halfway across the room. When he looked up, he was completely surrounded by silhouettes of James bending down in the smoke to pick up Silvano. Jumping to his feet, he made his way back towards the Retrovision in the hopes of cutting James off.
Or at least, he thought that’s where he was going. The tumble to the floor and the encircling smoke had disoriented him, and he ended up tripping over Seneca, who was once again unable to stand from the sickening smoke.
James brushed by them in a blur, and Envy fired every last bullet trying to put him down. Each one either missed or succeeded only in striking Silvano, who was slung over James’ back.
The smoke retreated with them, and The Mandrake dashed after them in one final bid to keep them from escaping. They were just feet away from him before they leapt through the Retrovision, vanishing into the basement universe of the Darlings’ playroom. The Mandrake dared to reach in after them and pull them back, but his hand hit nothing but solid glass.
“Damnit!” he cursed, striking the top of the box set with his fist.
“Don’t break it!” Envy shouted. “If that Retrovision came from the Darlings’ playroom and was modified by James, it could be useful in tracking them down again!”
“It also gives them a two-way ticket to wherever we keep it!” The Mandrake shouted back.
“Oh yes, it would be a gamble taking this old girl with you. No doubt about that,” the black and white visage of James mocked them from the other side of the screen, taking a victory drag from his cigarette. “But on the other hand, it is one of my finer works. It would be a crime, an atrocity even, to destroy it.”
The Mandrake struck the box set again, but deliberately held back on damaging it.
“Mandrake, enough!” Envy commanded. “I know it’s risky, but we need it. Turn it off and pick it up. We’re getting out of this hellhole.”
“Don’t feel bad, Mr. Mandrake. I’m sure you’ll have another chance to end up in Sara Darling’s doll collection very soon,” James taunted just before The Mandrake managed to turn the Retrovision off.
“What an absolute waste of time,” he muttered as he lifted the vintage box set off the floor.
“Not entirely!” Seneca claimed, who had not only recovered from his spectral smoke inhalation but was now holding an unlit cigar. “Crow, Crowley & Chamberlain has a lien on this shop, and since Silvano just ran out on us and has thrown his lot in with the Darlings, this place and everything left in it is ours!”
He was just about to light it before Envy snatched it out of his hands.
“The Mandrake wasn’t bluffing about the municipal health bylaws,” she informed him. “From now on, this is a smoke-free building.”

“Are you ready?” Yasmin Raiz places a MASSIVE bowl of fried rice onto the table. “Hi everyone, it’s Yasmin Raiz, your Season 4 Mx Congeniality, and I’m here to host our REUNION of Season 5 of Chronologica’s Drag Race!” Yamin stands to welcome the monarchs. “Welcome back the lovely contestants of CDR Season 5! Madam Maine!”
Madam Maine re-wears her finale look: a top hat, fitted black and white suit and a pair of silver boots with a cane. She bows and smiles broadly, looking nervous.
“Kaia K. Beauvoir!”
Kaia strides out confidently in an elaborate gold and silver pageant dress, with silver hair that glitters with metallic extensions.
“Cwunchie!”
Cwunchie is dressed as a little yellow plastic flower, with big petals and a tiny narrow stem. Her arms and legs are constricted at her sides in the stem and she hops along the runway towards her chair, grinning wildly.
“Now, let’s welcome the elephant in the room.” Yasmin smiles. “Bates Baghdashi, everyone!”
Bates arrives in a sepia-painted Agatha-Christie-esque detective look, with decadent shades of tan, brown, and black, an oversized magnifying glass, a briefcase, and a messy mop of Sherlockian curls.
“Oh, I love this.” Yasmin claps.
Bates lights an oversized origami faux cigarette, pretends to smoke from it, then flicks it away, where it unfurls into a bird, already aflame, and blasts away into the air, powered by a miniature firework.
Madam Maine looks very afraid for a moment, and starts to stand up.
“Before we continue, I want to let everyone know that their safety is assured! You are not in danger.” Yasmin smiles at Maine. Bates blushes.
Maine sits back down.
“Say hello, it’s Mermaid princess, Cleo Mertoris!”
Cleo wears a golden seashell bikini top stoned to the gods, showcasing some clear, recent work done on her chest, as well as a tight blue mini dress, as she flicks back her long luscious ginger hair with a smirk.
“Drag Princesita!”
Princesita waves in a sepia coloured maxi dress and bald head look, with bronze glitter on the top of her now shaved head, as she spins around with a smile on her face.
“It’s Briar Midnights!”
Briar walks out dressed quite similar to Ambrose’s traditional look- a tophat and sleek black trench coat, with jet black, wet hair and a half-smirk.
“Ms Stripes, Starzanne!”
The others look unimpressed as Starzanne walks out in an American Eagle style look, with feathers, glitter and fringe wrapped around her body.
“Ambrose NOIR!”
Amborse wears a black plaid mini skirt and white linen shirt, going for a rare fem drag look, with long black braids with hundreds of little pins wrapped into the braids.
“S-S-e-v-e-r-a!”
Severa rocks BODY on the main stage, wearing a bikini top and denim short combo, as well as a sensible pair of blue boots and pigtails to add the final touch.
“Magenta! Leigh! Simmons!”
Magenta gaps, wearing a Magenta coloured plaid look, wrapped around her body to create a fitted garment, along with a Magenta pair of sneakers.
“Jupiter Sterling!”
Jupiter rocks a head to toe, douchebag Vuitton look- jacket, shirt, pants, glasses and a backwards baseball cap.
“Apocalyptica!”
Apocalyptica looks slightly displeased- wearing a bright, toxic green look that appears to have toxic slime wrapped around her, in a similar vein to a past look.
“Lupe LaBelleza!”
Lupe wears a sensible pussycat wig, red coat and matching pencil skirt, with a black sheer turtleneck and a red fedora, along with a pair of black sheer socks being held up by garter belts and classic black pumps with a smile.
“And our winner, Nymphe d’Azote!”
Wearing her crown on her shoulders, her head too small for her crown, Nymphe is dressed in a glittering yellow robe, wearing a matching facemask looking ready for a spa moment, along with a wig, made entirely of bubbles!
Yasmin smiles, handing people plates of rice. “Now, today we're spilling ALL of the TEA. At the start of our season, we said goodbye to some girls that some fans really wanted to see more of. Say hello to Madam Maine, Miss Kaia K. Beauvoir, and…”
“CWUNCHIE!!!!” Cwunchie interrupts happily.
Severa rolls her eyes.
Cleo rolls her eyes.
Kaia rolls her eyes.
Severa glares at Cleo.
Cleo glares at Kaia.
Kaia glares at Severa.
Yasmin smiles. “Madam Maine. Once and for all, can you tell us why you’re named after a state you’re not even from?”
“Oh! Haha.” Madam Maine laughs nervously, eyeing the cameras. “I really like Maine. I have a French Canadian aunt who lives up there.”
“French Canada? Is she related to French Montana?” Magenta asks.
“Oh…no.” Madam Maine smiles awkwardly.
“A lot of our viewers this season questioned whether you were totally ready for the Drag Race experience. What’s your take?”
“I will be honest. I wasn’t.” Maine flushes. “I don’t think that I totally understood the caliber of some of these performers, and…I was in such awe of them. I feel really lucky that I’ve gotten to know some of my castmates, including all the first outs before me. Jupiter and Princesita especially, I really feel have shown me love.”
“You’re a sweetheart, honey.” Princesita smiles. “I hope you get your chance to come back someday too.”
“Are we going to do that every few seasons? Because it’ll get old, QUICK.” Severa responds. “Twists are only twists if we don’t see them coming.”
“Agreed.” Kaia says.
Princesita frowns.
Yasmin looks at Kaia. “Kaia, you represented, I believe, our first instance of a child of Drag Race–that is, your drag mom, The Mother Delilah, competed on season 2.”
“That’s right.” Kaia nods, keeping one eye warily on Severa and Cleo. “As a trans woman, it was important to me to be part of a legacy of successful trans women.”
“Delilah was successful?” Severa half jests with a smirk. “I think there have been plenty of trans women on the show who were more successful.”
Lupe looks like she wants to say something, but doesn’t.
“Whatever, I’m proud to be a daughter of Miss Delilah regardless and even more proud of having a healthy and kind relationship with the woman who inspired my craft.” Kaia says haughtily. “Not all of us can say that after all.”
“Ooooooooo…” the room roars.
Severa makes a displeased face and shrugs.
“One question about your time on the show, Kaia.” Yasmin looks around. “Why do you, in particular, think you ended up going home so early? A lot of fans were very surprised.”
“I think it’s quite obvious that Cleo’s leadership in that challenge was disastrous for me and everyone else on it. I’d assume that Cleo’s current appearance reflects how people received her during this season.”
“You mean my gorgeous knockers?” Cleo shimmies.
“I mean, your cheap bra and panty set.” Kaia snaps. “And-”
“You’re so smug.” Cleo interrupts. “As if you have anything to be smug about. Not with that mug, you don’t, mate.”
“At least I can still afford my makeup.” Kaia shoots back.
Cleo huffs and crosses her arms.
“Cwunchie! You were a force of nature for a short time with us this season.” Yasmin looks nervous to even speak to Cwunchie.
“WOOOOOOHOOOOO!” Cwunchie yells. “This show did NOT disappoint! I–”
It then cuts to an ad break.
~
“Welcome back to the Chronologica’s Drag Race Season 5 Reunion! Onto, the infamous, Bates!” Yasmin smiles. “You had one of the most DRAMATIC moments, ever in history. Let’s look back.”
Bates grins as the cast turns to watch the TV screen.
~
Will the following-
Wait.
Everyone looks concerned. For a moment, the stage is perfectly still, as the judges and racers wait with uncertainty.
In the distance, sirens are heard. The sirens get closer. And closer.
Suddenly, a group of police officers in full riot gear burst into the room through a production door. Crew members and producers look shocked and frantic. The police officers are led by a stern-faced man with a badge that reads "Officer Jeffery," who steps forward, his hand gripping a pair of handcuffs.
What?
Office Jeffrey points directly towards the racers. Everyone looks to see who he’s pointing at.
Bates stares back at the officer expressionless, blood still dripping from their look.
"Mahdi Hakimian?” The police officers crowd onto the stage towards Bates.
“Oh my god.” Magenta gasps.
Princesita starts to say something, and Jupiter reaches over to cover Princesita’s mouth.
“Yes.” Bates gulps.
Officer Jeffery reaches towards Bates. “Turn around and place your hands behind your back.”
Bates stands silently, his face expressionless.
“I am placing you under arrest in connection with the murders of Javad Tahmasb, Hamidreza Entezami, Mohamad Askari, Mostafa Shahi, Ali Reza Arjmand, Arman Nousari, Elahe Nousari, Setareh Tarokh, and Mohammed Tarokh."
Magenta falls to the ground in her bra and panty set, as everyone looks in stunned silence.
Bates slowly raises their hands as the police officers move closer, handcuffing them.
Everyone looks in disbelief. The judges look shocked and horrified.
“You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.”
Bates looks at Apocalyptica, still expressionless, and speaks softly. “Christian…I’m sorry.”
“You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be provided for you. Do you understand these rights?”
Bates gives a nearly imperceptible nod.
Apocalyptica’s eyes well with tears. “Batesy?”
~
“Traumatic.” Apocalyptica looks at Bates, who exhales.
“To explain this….” Yasmin looks over. “Rachelle Mirage!”
Rachelle walks in with a smile.
“You two have worked hard together- tell us, what happened?!”
“I am, as we’d all know, originally from Iran. And- I knew it was a risk.” Bates exhales. “And they found out, and tried to have me extradited back from the US, for an alleged murder.”
“You killed someone?” Magenta gasps.
“A set up. Some of my former schoolmates had reported to the government that I had been cast here. So they falsified police records to make it look like I had done something which… was just because I, a Queer person, was representing the country in a way that didn’t match their… image.” Bates nods.
“Then comes… me.” Rachelle grins. “I could not let this happen.”
“Thank you, Rachelle.” Bates smiles.
“I felt something was off. And, I served as a character witness in the International Criminal Court, where… Eventually, after little evidence, we were able to not only have this gorgeous artist freed- but, I pulled some strings…”
“And I am now living in Denver.” Bates responds, holding Apocalyptica’s hand.
“What a shocking story.” Yasmin smiles. “And Apocalyptica, I must ask- are you two…?”
“We live literally across the street from each other.” Apocalyptica smiles.
The two grin.
“Now next up! She was one of our famous RETURNEES- Ms Cleo Mertoris, who won her first challenge- then proceeded to go home. Cleo, how did you feel about your journey?”
“I think… I should’ve gone much further than I did, to be honest.” Cleo shrugs.
“Girl...” Severa stares at Cleo for a few seconds. “You deserve exactly what you got- because you weren’t talented enough to survive a lipsync.”
“Not Miss ‘Double Sashay’ talking.” Cleo gasps. “At least I could pay for my tits myself, and not resort to sugar daddies huh Sevvie… Fucking bitch!” In a flash, Cleo, angrily standing, throws her drink onto Severa, who yelps.
In a flash, Yasmin tries to pull Cleo away from Severa, but Cleo does her best to claw at Severa.
“The fuck?” Jupiter yells.
“Don’t fucking call me Sevvie ever again!” Severa yells, scrubbing at her ruined dress and crying while subtly drinking the cocktail on her face.
“I’ll call you whatever I fucking want! Coming for my fucking gig!” Cleo shrieks.
“Let’s stop this-” Yasmin raises her hand.
Cleo spits at Severa. “Fuck you, fucking whore. You only transitioned to copy me! I MADE YOU! I-”
“WE’RE GOING TO ANOTHER BREAK!” Yasmin yells.
~
Severa tries to shake cocktail out of her wet wig.
Lupe covers her mouth with one hand. Kaia is laughing.
Nymphe suddenly stands and aggressively wrings out Severa’s wig, as Severa winces.
“Well!” Yasmin says sharply. “Are you okay, Severa?”
“I’m fine.” Severa huffs, bent over as Nymphe wrings her wig out. “I started my transition because, since the season aired, I came to terms with a lot about myself. Including how some of my behavior on the season was…rash. I’ve definitely been hiding from this moment. And Cleo has nothing to do with it.”
Lupe apologetically speaks up. “Pienso que, Severa, that Cleo might just be jealous of you.”
“You know it, mami.” Severa sighs. “I also really want to express some sincere apologies to you.”
Lupe looks startled.
“I think that with our time on the show, I was often jealous of you. Unlike me, or Cleo, or Kaia, you have been confidently living in your womanhood for a long time. I’ve followed you for a long time…and I fucked up.” Severa nods. “I am sorry.”
“I accept your apology, darling.” Lupe smiles. “It’s all I ever needed.”
“Now, these two were our OTHER, non finalist returnees, and both have… wild journeys.” Yasmin smiles.
“Non finalist.” Princesita frowns.
“You did good, Mami.” Lupe smiles. “I know it was hard…”
“I lip synced- a lot.” Princesita nods. “And it was hard.” Princesita begins to tear up. “Because, I believed I could do better, you know?”
Magenta holds Princesita’s hand.
“But- you must keep going. You can never push yourself too far, and maybe this wasn’t my journey. I think… I think I've accepted that now.” Princesita sighs.
“Regardless of how it ends, know that you should be proud of yourself, girl.” Kaia shrugs. “Like, we can’t all win.”
“Like me.” Starzanne jokes.
Nobody laughs.
“Well, turning to you, Starzanne, you had a controversial moment this season, in your makeover moment….” Starzanne turns. “How did it feel, watching it back?”
“I feel bad.” Starzanne closes her eyes. “And… I’m learning, I’m working on what I know, how to do it better, how to…” Starzanne sighs. “Do more than what I did, and truly, I feel shame.”
“I kinda think it’s bullshit.” Severa looks at Starzanne. “Because I think you knew better.”
Ambrose and Briar nod in agreement.
“HOWEVER…” Severa shrugs. “Good for you.”
Starzanne pouts, before nodding. “I aim to really deliver, I p-promise.”
The others look uncertain.
Bates sighs. “As the Middle Eastern refugee here, I can’t speak for Mohammed, who it’s obvious you really hurt and mistreated…and I hope he never has to see or work with you again. Because I hope you do learn, Starzanne. But also know the work is on you, not people of color.”
Severa gulps.
“Moving onto a power couple, or power ex-couple, this season. Briar and Ambrose…”
Jupiter woofs.
“How are we going since the season?” Yasmin asks.
“We’ve reconciled.” Ambrose looks at Briar with a knowing glance.
“I think both of us felt intense pressure this season.” Briar nods. “We both wanted to exist separate, but were so intrinsically tied to each other…”
“Ultimately I did think it led to our failure.” Ambrose sighs. “And- that’s fair, because it was a lesson to learn.”
“The lesson, being?”
“We are powerful- together.” Ambrose smiles, holding hands. “But, we believe it’s important to make space.”
“So, where does that mean for you now?” Yasmin asks. “The both of you.”
The two look at each other.
“We’re creating space, yet, collaborating.” Ambrose nods. “And-”
“They’re fucking again, BUT not doing duo gigs. Only attending gigs together.” Magenta chuckles.
Everyone gasps.
“Well… true.” Briar shrugs.
“Now, finally- the shocking moment… right before the semi final.” Yasmin nods. “Let’s look.”
~
I’ve made my decision.
Jupiter Sterling, Shantay you stay.
“Thank you.” Jupiter exhales. “Thank you.”
Severa closes her eyes, whispering to herself. “Severa, shantay…”
Severa and Magenta Leigh Simmons…
The others look on.
Thank you for being here, and doing great work this season. Now, I must say… sashay away.
“Damn!” Magenta yells, as Chronologica chuckles.
Everyone in the back of the stage look flabbergasted.
“No, thank you for this.” Magenta bows.
Severa looks at the judges for a split second, before walking off without a word.
“...Damn!” Magenta says again, as the others laugh. “I’m strutting off with GRACE.”
Magenta raises her hands in the air, as she walks off with a cheer.
~
“First, you- Severa, how are you feeling with time?” Yasmin asks.
“I feel as if that’s a different girl. Kinda. She’s thinking she’s giving nothing, not caring- but she cares too much, she’s lost that war. I think of myself as effortlessly fierce- but I did get stressed. I wish I… walked off and stomped the stage.” Severa sighs. “Instead of that.”
“And that’s okay, because we all- get there, sometimes.” Princesita says. “It’s about what you do next.”
“I’m going to win, girl.” Severa jokes. “They gotta make another All Stars so this diva can take the title.”
Everyone chuckles.
“Magenta, how did you feel, about being the other half?”
“I am happy, because if I’m being damn honest, I didn’t expect to make it this far!” Magenta laughs. “And I was me the whole damn time.”
“I love you for being you.” Jupiter adds. “You’re real, Ms Simmons. We honor that.”
“And not everyone can say that.” Nymphe smirks.
Apocalyptica grips Bates' hands.
“Now, it’s time for us to celebrate… some titles.” Yasmin smiles. “First, our GOLD BOOT title of the Season- ugliest outfit. Winner of a $5000 grand prize….”
…
Starzanne Stripes and September Remembers arrive in what else, but red, white, and blue. September looks patchy- his face is painted red, white and blue, in an attempt to cover his beard. Starzanne and September are both wearing fringe dresses that look straight out of a car wash, and it’s the epitome of… awkward.
“Starzanne!”
Starzanne chuckles, grabbing the trophy.
“Anything to say, Starzanne?”
“I am now wearing a lot LESS red, white and blue.” Starzanne nods.
The others awkwardly chuckle.
“Now, our title of SHADE- The Shadiest C.U.N.T this season.” Yasmin smiles. “Can I have a drumroll?”
“Cleo?” Severa looks over at the empty seat laughing.
“SEVERA!” Yasmin cheers. “Condragulations, you’ve won $10,000!”
Severa chuckles, grabbing the sash. “Thank you,I’d like to thank Cleo, Alcohol, and the rest of you for being too boring to get confessionals!”
Lupe laughs dramatically.
“I’d say I’m surprised, but I’m not!”
Everyone laughs.
….
“Finally, MY successor.” Yasmin smiles. “This year, the Congenial title will win $20,000, sponsored by Virtue Beauty.”
Everyone looks excitedly.
“The Winner is… MAGENTA LEIGH SIMMONS!” Yasmin cheers, as everyone starts clapping.
“Yes, yes!” Magenta cheers, as Yasmin puts the sash on her.
“Do you have anything to say, my Queen?”
“I-” Magenta smiles. “Damn.”
Everyone cheers.
“She’s finally out of things to say everybody!” Kaia laughs.
“Ugh…” Apocalyptica whimpers, wiping her eyes, as the others look over.
“Popsicle, are you okay?” Lupe asks.
“I’m- I’m fine.” Apocalyptica sighs. “I just- am really happy for Magenta.”
Magenta smiles.
“Bullshit.” Nymphe looks over.
The room is quiet.
“You expected this win, and again, you’re inauthentic, you’re lying, and you’re not owning up to when you want something.” Nymphe responds.
“I-” Apocalyptica tears up, holding onto Bates. “I-”
“I do have a question to ask, actually, as the crowned Ms SHADE.” Severa smirks. “Ms, Popsicle- we noticed your lack of presence at the crowning. You weren’t at any of the cast parties we held to celebrate or any of the events we planned, so what’s really up?”
Nymphe looks over.
“What happened?”
“I didn’t feel up to it. I was a bit sad, and I really did want to be there- but I-I felt physically ill, and…”
“Bullshit, again.” Severa rolls her eyes.
“Alright, you guys can have your opinions on everyone’s actions, but we don’t need to gang up on her.” Bates says, raising their voice a little..
“I don’t know what any of you mean…” Apocalyptica sighs. “I just-”
“You wanted to win, so you’re bitter. You kept denying it- but clearly, you positioned yourself in a way to do well. And you lost. So, why not own up to it?” Nymphe asks.
“Ugh, Can you go fuck yourself?” Apocalyptica snaps.
“Woah.” Magenta says.
Everyone looks spooked.
“Popsicle… You don’t have to acknowledge them…” Bates whispers.
“Of course I wanted to win.” Apocalyptica exclaims loudly. “I wanted to prove alt drag, to prove myself, and I don’t think that trying to be nice while doing so is a sin. ” Apocalyptica says. “LIKE-”
“Because you weren’t being real.” Severa looks at Apocalyptica. “Not the sweet girl who always happens to copy others.”
“I- You can think whatever you want. I…Actually I’m not going to continue to engage with this narrative.” Apocalyptica stutters as she turns to hold onto Bates.
“If you owned being unoriginal, maybe you’d have won.” Nymphe shrugs.
“Okay hold up- I’m mad she didn’t show up to our get togethers either but unoriginal?” Kaia inserts herself into the conversation. “We all get inspired and learn and take notes from others, like that’s the point of drag families, Delilah taught me so much, does that make me unoriginal? Have none of us ever felt inspired after seeing a good drag show or look?”
“I learned a lot from everyone in my short time here, my drag has changed a lot from all of you.” Madame Maine smiles.
“Girl, there’s a difference between being inspired and trying to steal my signature move the week after I leave.” Severa turns back at Kaia and Madame Maine.
“And were you the first to ever do that move? You came up with it with absolutely no influence from anyone else.” Apocalyptica bites.
“I don’t remember getting any credit or even a shoutout.” Severa stares at Popsicle.
“Do you give credits to who helped teach you how to dip every time you do it?” Apocalyptica retorts. “Whatever, i'm just so over this conversation.”
“Cool.” Nymphe bluntly states.
Apocalyptica rolls her eyes. “Cool.”
A couple of seconds pass of silence.
“Well, thank you all for a lovely season.” Yasmin smiles breaking the tension. “Now, before we go… Here's a sneak peak of SEASON 6 of Chronlogica’s DRAG RACE, coming soon!”
~
This has been… magic.
“It sure has.” Nymphe nods, sipping her pink tea. “But the magic… lives on and continues, as does the journey of the forest. It is… eternal.”
It's magic, you know…
Thirteen figures flash, as someone grabs a potion labeled ‘IMMUNITY’.

As Raw comes on the air General Manager Nick Aldis is in the ring
Aldis: Ladies & Gentlemen welcome to Monday Night Raw coming off of a historic Wrestlemania! Now after Wrestlemania I have the duty to update you on a few superst--
Adlis suddenly gets cut off as Real Rock N Rolla suddenly plays and out walks Finn Balor along with Cody Rhodes & AJ Styles all wearing the trademark Bullet Club shirts.
They get in the ring and AJ takes a microphone and tells Aldis this is their time, Aldis puts his hands up and leaves not wanting to create conflict.
Finn Balor: Ladies and Gentlemen, many years ago when I made the Bullet Club my goal was to take over the entire business, to make it clear that the Bullet Club runs it all, and although we had a lot of success, we were never able to crack the WWE barrier... until now
Cody Rhodes: We are not here to simply sell more merch, or to be popular, we are here to make a statement that we are the best, and if some people in the back have a problem with that, either step up or step out of the way.
AJ Styles: The bullet club is ready to make a statement and nobody is going to stop us.
__________
Winner earns Intercontinental Title Shot at Backlash
Sammy Guevara w/ Tay Melo vs Wes Lee
Results: This is a fast paced match, both men going for high risk, nearing the end of the match Wes Lee goes to the top setting up for Final Flash. But Tay Melo gets on the apron and distracts him allowing Sammy to knock him off the top. Sammy then hits the shooting star press for the win
Winner: Sammy Guevara
__________
Backstage we see Jackie Redmond standing with Nick Aldis
Jackie: Nick, you kicked off the show seeming to have something important to say before you were interrupted by the Bullet Club, what did you have to say?
Aldis: Well, I guess coming off Wrestlemania I should expect superstars to want the spotlight but anyway... I have an update on a few men who competed at Wrestlemania first off after his physical match with Solo Sikoa, The Rock has returned to Hollywood and is officially no longer under contract to WWE. SECOND, after they put up one hell of a fight against the G.o.D, I can inform the fans that The Usos contracts have run out and at this time we have not been in negotiation so we will see what happens there. And finally Roman Reigns and well... Since Wrestlemania I have not been in contact with or gotten word from Roman and all I can say is right now his status is... undetermined.
__________
Jacob Fatu vs Trick Williams
Results: Jacob is all over Trick wasting no time, Trick mounts a small comeback but Jacob shuts it down and continues his dominance before hitting his moonsault on Trick for the win
Winner: Jacob Fatu
After the match Jacob is not done as he starts to attack Trick again, wrapping Tricks leg around the ring post and hitting it with a chair, clearly sending a message
__________
Ricochet is shown backstage getting ready for his match
Ricochet: AJ Styles tonight you and me go one on one, I think its great and all that you are your friends brought your little club into WWE, but that does not change the fact that I am on a path to the top and if that means I have to close down your lil club house... so be it!
___________
AJ Styles vs Ricochet
Results: We see a more aggressive then usual side of AJ as he goes right after Ricochet, these 2 men go back and forth, behind the refs back Balor appears and trips up Ricochet, leading AJ to pull him in for the Styles Clash and the win
Winner AJ Styles
Post match both AJ & Finn get in the ring and attack ricochet, leading to Balor hitting a Coup de Grace on Ricochet leaving him down and hurt as AJ & Finn flash the Too Sweet sign
__________
The Tag Team Champions Sheamus & Drew Mcintyre are in the ring and they issue an open challenge to any team to come out and fight them.
There is a long pause before finally FTR come out and accept the challenge
__________
Sheamus & Mcintyre vs FTR
Results: After a back and forth match that saw both teams try to use their advantages, FTR's tag experience, Sheamus/Drew's power and brawling, in the end the champs hit matching Claymore and Brogue kicks to pick up the win
Winners: Sheamus & Mcintyre
__________
DIY is in the ring after returning to Raw, they are set to compete in a first round match of a tournament to decide next tag team title challengers
As they wait suddenly the horn of Viking Raiders starts but then fades out at "Prepare for War" starts and out walk... Hanson & Rowe as Samantha Irvin introduces the team of War Machine!
__________
War Machine vs DIY
Results: War Machine is all over DIY, using their size and power to dominate the match, in the end Hanson hits a huge splash off the top rope onto Gargano for the win
Winner: War Machine
__________
The Bullet Club is in the back when Nick Aldis walks up to them
Aldis: Gentlemen, I get wanting to make a statement and interrupting me is one thing, but I suggest you don't make attacking superstars after a match a regular thing or we may have a problem, you got that?
AJ steps up as if about to get in Aldis' face but Cody puts a hand out stopping him and tells AJ to "relax" as the 3 members of BC stare down Aldis as he walks away
__________
Winner faces Carmelo Hayes at Backlash for WWE Title
Karrion Kross w/ Jake Roberts vs Ricky Starks
Results: The crowd is completely behind Starks here and in looks as if he is going to pull off the win until Jake Roberts at ringside distracts him, allowing Kross to pull Starks in and hit a devastating DDT and pick up the win
Winner: Karrion Kross
Kross stands in the corner gesturing the title around his waist, as the camera shows the champion Carmelo Hayes watching from a luxury box in the arena as Raw ends

“The Darling Twins? Honestly, haven’t we all had enough of them by now?” Seneca ruminated as he tried to placate what was now the de facto triumvirate of the Ophion Occult Order.
Once again, he had been summoned to Adderwood Manor to account for his lapses in judgement, but rather than being on full public display in the Grand Hall, he instead found himself in a relatively small parlour. Across from the coffee table in front of him sat Ivy Noir, with her sister Envy to her right and her husband Erich to her left. Standing just to the side of them was the trenchcoat and fedora-wearing automaton who called himself The Mandrake. The one-eyed dream-catcher carved into his iridescent face rendered his emotions unreadable, but the spellwork pistols holstered in his belt made it clear that he was prepared to defend his employers against anything.
“I mean, this feud between them and Emrys is laughable,” Seneca went on. “They’re no threat to him now that he’s free of his chains, surely? Before there may have been a tactical element to his obsession with them, but now it’s just plain petty. Petra’s just out for revenge, and don’t get me started on the absurdity of that eldritch realtor wanting to flip their playroom. Does he think he can just relabel their torture chambers as BDSM dungeons and pass the Black Bile infestation off as some mould?”
“Seneca, I promised Emrys the Darlings, and the Covenant that we all signed binds us to fulfill that promise,” Ivy reminded him patiently, dropping a cube of sugar into her ouroboros-themed antique teacup. “You knew the Darlings better than any of us. You inducted them into the Order, you used them as assassins and bodyguards, and you let them withdraw every penny they had in your bank when they were fugitives!”
“Well, first of all, Crow, Crowley & Chamberlain is a financial institution, not a bank,” Seneca said flippantly. “Secondly, they had a numbered account and they didn’t show up in person, so the teller didn’t have the slightest idea of who they were dealing with.”
“You still could have frozen the account before they had that opportunity,” Erich stated.
Seneca made a display of languidly stirring some cream into his tea and taking a slow sip before responding.
“I’m very busy,” he claimed without an ounce of sincerity.
“You just didn’t want to get on the Darlings’ bad side,” Ivy said.
“I wasn’t aware they had a good side,” Seneca shrugged.
“There must be a paper trail we can follow,” Envy insisted. “Did the Darlings keep their assets anywhere else besides your bank?”
“Financial institution, and yes, I’m sure they have a proverbial Swiss bank account, but I haven’t the slightest notion of where to find it,” Seneca claimed. “It has come up in conversation that James invested about twenty percent of his income with me, twenty percent elsewhere, and shoved another twenty percent under their mattress. Mary enjoys being shagged on top of money, apparently. Their services commanded quite a high price on the underworld market, and sixty-plus years of compound interest have made them incredibly wealthy. They can afford to lie low for a long while.”
“Even if they can go without a paycheck indefinitely, they can’t go without killing,” Erich countered. “They need to hunt, and their egos mean they aren’t just going to cower from Emrys inside their playroom. They’re going to be out looking for victims and plotting against us, and you know what spots they’re likely to hit.”
“You’re wasting your time. James has had decades to scout out hunting grounds, and I’m sure he prepared for the possibility – no, inevitability – that he and his sister would become our enemies. He’s not going to risk showing up within a hundred miles of any of our Chapterhouses if he doesn’t need to,” Seneca said dismissively.
Ivy opened her mouth to speak, but stopped when The Mandrake took a step forward for the first time since the meeting began. He reached into his pocket and tossed a red and white pack of cigarettes with a shiny silhouette of a stag onto the coffee table.
“What is this?” Erich asked.
“Satin Stag cigarettes,” The Mandrake said flatly before shifting his gaze to Seneca. “That’s the Darlings’ brand, isn’t it, Mr. Chamberlain?”
“Um, yes. I believe I’ve seen them smoke those once or twice. What of it?” Seneca asked, failing to hide the nervousness creeping into his voice.
“These are artisanal cigarettes, and Harrowick County’s the only place you can buy them,” The Mandrake said. “That means that the Darlings, either directly or indirectly, are going to have to make the occasional sojourn back home, and the limited supply of these hand-rolled coffin nails means they can’t stock up too far in advance either. You know Harrowick County better than any of us. You know who makes these, you know who sells them. That’s how we track down the Darlings.”
“That’s preposterous. Do you really think they’d risk coming to Harrowick County rather than just switch brands?” Seneca scoffed.
“The Very Important Person at Pascal’s told me that Mary said they’ve been smoking these since they were kids, so they’re clearly pretty attached to them,” The Mandrake replied. “And somehow, I don’t think they’re the type to ever give up a bad habit.”
***
“Smoke & Mirrors ~ Fine Tobacco Products. Silvano Santoro, Proprietor. Est. 1949,” Envy read aloud as she, Seneca and The Mandrake stood outside the small, heavily fortified brick building.
Cast iron bars crisscrossed the windows and front door, which looked like it stood a decent chance of withstanding a police swat team. Security was obviously the shop’s proprietor’s key concern, as the ugly brown and yellow awning was tattered and faded, and the paint on the sign was so chipped it was barely even legible.
“How exactly does an unnoticeable and unattractive hole in the wall like this stay in business?” Envy asked.
“Repeat customers,” Seneca replied as he took a confident step towards the door. “Silvano knows me, and he doesn’t normally have a problem with me bringing guests along, but I expect both of you to be on your best behaviour!”
Envy gave him a reassuring nod, but The Mandrake continued to stoically stare at nothing with his hands in his pockets. Rolling his eyes, Seneca pressed a bulky plastic button on the antiquated door buzzer.
“Yeah, who is it?” a harsh and smoke-damaged voice demanded.
“It’s Seneca, Silvano. A pleasure to make your acquaintance again as well!” Seneca answered. “Just looking to pick up a few cases of cigars for a party, if you’ve got anything decent in stock, of course.”
“Who’s that you got with you?” Silvano asked suspiciously.
“Envy Noir, sir. I’m here on behalf of my sister Ivy, investigating a matter of considerable importance to the Ophion Occult Order,” Envy promptly introduced herself, much to Seneca’s chagrin. “The gentleman beside me is my bodyguard. Would you be so kind as to let us in?”
“Ah… of course. Just a moment, please,” Silvano replied.
“What’s he need a moment to buzz open a door for?” The Mandrake demanded, his stance immediately switching to full readiness.
“Making the place presentable for customers, I assume,” Seneca explained in exasperation.
“You mean he’s hiding evidence, or he’s running!” The Mandrake shouted.
“He’s a nonagenarian heavy smoker. He couldn’t run if his life depended on it,” Seneca insisted.
“I’ll see about that,” The Mandrake muttered.
Shoving Seneca out of the way, he kicked the door in with barely any effort. Storming into the shop, he saw a slender older man with thick white hair and rimmed glasses seated behind the front counter. His saggy, spotted skin was a living PSA against the products he peddled, and in his tobacco-stained hand, he held the receiver of an ornate rotary phone.
Staring at The Mandrake in cold fury, he calmly set the receiver back down in its cradle.
“Who were you talking to?” The Mandrake demanded.
“A client,” Silvano barked back with a shake of his head, picking up a burning cigarette from a nearby ashtray.
“Silvano, I am profusely sorry for this abject and uncouth behaviour! This being is no friend of mine, I can assure you,” Seneca asserted as he and Envy made their way inside.
“The feeling’s mutual, Chamberlain,” The Mandrake remarked. “Mr. Santoro, I apologize for the damage to the premises, but as Miss Noir has said, we’re here on urgent business.”
“Yes, that’s correct. We’ve been given to understand the Darling Twins are regular customers of yours,” Envy explained, before the smoke-saturated room sent her into a coughing spell. She fumbled around in her purse and pulled out a black N95 mask she had left over from the Pandemic.
“I’ve got plenty of regular customers,” Silvan replied defensively. “Customers who pay good money for that smoke you’re so offended by, young lady.”
“These ones have been coming here for over half a century and never aged a day,” The Mandrake said.
“That honestly doesn’t narrow it down that much,” Silvano chuckled, tapping his cigarette on his ashtray. “But yeah, I know the Darlings. What of it?”
“When was the last time they were here?” The Mandrake demanded.
“What’s it to you?” Silvano asked.
“They’re fugitives of the Order now and we want them brought in,” Envy replied, having donned her mask and mostly recovered from the smoke. “Mary Darling held a knife to my throat once in front of my sister, and later threatened to eat me alive in front of her and feed me to her pigs.”
“They were going to put me in their daughter’s doll collection,” The Mandrake muttered.
“And I have nothing but nice things to say about the Darlings, so I’m honestly not quite sure how I got dragged into this,” Seneca said. “That aside, it really would be of great help to us if you could share any information about them that you might have.”
“I don’t know what to tell you. They come in, they buy their smokes, they leave, just like most of my customers,” Silvano told them.
“But now they’re trying to lay low, so I’m guessing they’ve made some sort of arrangement with you to get their Satin Stag cigarettes without having to risk coming here in person,” The Mandrake said. “Maybe they set you up with one of their spare Retrovisions? Emrys said they had a few of those lying around, and they can use them as direct portals to their playroom.”
“Like they’d waste a fancy piece of technomancy like that on an old geezer like me. I haven’t seen them in months. Last year sometime, I think,” Silvano claimed.
The Mandrake casually strolled up to the front counter, rapping his fingers on the cheap glass display case.
“Real nice place you got here, Mr. Santoro. I mean, not really, but I’m sure you get the implication,” he said softly. “Ironic as it may be, a smoke shop isn’t exempt from municipal bylaws about smoking in public buildings and workspaces. You may not have had much trouble with local law enforcement before, but one phone call from my employers will change that real quick.”
“You think I’ve never been threatened before, punk?” Silvano asked, rising from his chair and staring him down.
“Boys, please, there’s no need for this,” Envy interjected. “Mr. Santoro, our Order has considerably more resources at its disposal than the Darlings, and we can certainly offer you a far greater reward for their capture than whatever they’re paying you for some cigarettes. You could retire; close this place down and get as far away as you like. How does that sound?”
“I’m not looking to retire, Miss. This business is all I’ve got, and it wouldn’t be good business to go around ratting out my best customers, now would it?” Silvano asked.
“It would be worse business to sacrifice everything you have to protect two customers,” The Mandrake threatened, his hands clamping down on the display cases so hard they began to creak. “Talk.”
Acknowledging him only with a furtive glance, Silvano took another drag from his cigarette and exhaled.
But this time, the smoke poured out from his mouth and nostrils without limit.
“What the hell?” The Mandrake cursed as he backed away.
Silvano pushed a button beneath the counter, putting his shop into lockdown with security shutters clamping down over every entrance point. As the smoke exuded from his body, it went limp and collapsed into a dried-out husk as the smoke coalesced into an animate form of its own, circling above them around the shop’s yellowed and textured ceiling.
“Damnit. Another egregore,” Envy muttered. “That explains his loyalties. The Darlings couldn’t eat him, but Emrys could.”
“So you’re saying we can’t negotiate it with it?” The Mandrake asked.
“Or fight it,” Envy clarified.
“In that case, it appears we’ve exhausted all our options. Time for a tactical retreat,” Seneca declared as he dashed for the now barricaded exit.
Whatever he was planning to do to get through it, the cloud of smoke cut him off before he got the chance. Rushing in through his nose and mouth, it immediately began suffocating him, sending him spasming to the ground as he choked for air.
The cloud assaulted Envy as well, but was unable to penetrate her mask.
“Godamnit, get away!” she shouted as she swatted it away from her burning eyes.
“Envy, get behind me now!” The Mandrake ordered as he drew out his pistols. “Sorry, Santoro, but you’re going to have to do a lot worse than that if you want to intimidate us!”
Seneca responded by gasping angrily and bashing his hand against the carpet.
“… A lot worse,” The Mandrake reiterated. “I may not be able to shoot you, but I will blow this health hazard you love so much to hell if you don’t tell me where I can find the Darlings!”
“There’ll be no need for that, Mr. Mandrake,” the voice of James Darling crackled in from some unseen speaker. A door off to the side slowly creaked open, revealing a Retrovision flickering with black and white static. The Mandrake wasted no time in shooting at it, but the bullets passed through the glass without causing any damage at all.
A hologram of James Darling manifested in the center of the room, a burning Satin Stag cigarette clutched neatly in his fingers. He saw Seneca suffocating on the floor, then turned his predatory and calculating gaze towards The Mandrake.
“Put the guns on the floor, and I’ll call Silvano off,” he offered.
The Mandrake didn’t seem to be the least bit tempted by this offer, but Envy tugged at his trenchcoat and gave him a commanding nudge. Reluctantly, The Mandrake tossed the guns to the carpet and placed his hands behind his head.
With only a single commanding wag of his index finger, the smoke cloud withdrew from Seneca’s lungs and collected itself above James like a thundercloud.
“No sense in killing you, Seneca. That would practically be doing Emrys a favour,” James said. “But Envy, what’s a pretty girl like you doing wearing a mask?”
“You’d better not let your sister hear you calling me that,” Envy taunted.
“Kind of you to worry, but it’s always the object of my flirtations who bear the brunt of my sister’s wrath,” James reminded her smugly. “Top-notch detective work tracking me down, Mr. Mandrake. Why don’t you walk in through the Retrovision and arrest me?”
“You knew we’d show up here looking for you. You were waiting for us,” The Mandrake growled.
“Again, brilliant detective work. You’ve truly earned that fedora,” James mocked him. “Yes, I knew you’d come here looking for us, so I’ve arranged for Mr. Santoro to set up shop inside our playroom. He was only hanging around here to set a trap for you. Let me tell you what’s going to happen. None of you, not even you, Mr. Mandrake, are going to be able to break out of this building. You can sit there and starve for all I care, or Miss Noir and The Mandrake could take their chances with us on the other side of the Retrovision. Sara Darling really would like to put you in her doll collection, Mr. Mandrake, and I can’t wait to tell Mary Darling exactly how pretty I think you are, Envy. If the two of you come across, I’ll let Seneca go and he can inform Erich and Ivy of your predicament. If they’d like to negotiate for your release, I… may be willing to consider it.”
“You’re a coward! If you’re going to threaten me, step across that screen and do it to my face!” the Mandrake ordered.
He took his hands off his head and took a step towards him, only for the acrid form of Silvano to interject itself between them. James took a casual drag from his cigarette, refusing even to flinch.
Envy took advantage of the distraction and grabbed the pair of spellwork pistols off of the floor, firing two rounds of consecrated lead into the limp body of Silvano. While the body didn’t react at all, the smoke cloud shook and screeched like a wounded animal, losing some of its integrity and dissipating across the room.
“That body’s not just a husk! Silvano’s bound to it!” Envy declared. “James, if you don’t let us go in the next thirty seconds I’ll have The Mandrake tear that body limb from limb and you’ll have to find some other cursed thoughtform to roll your cigarettes for you.”
The Mandrake looked back towards James who now, much to his satisfaction, had flinched.
“Thirty. Twenty-Nine. Twenty-Eight,” he began to count down as he theatrically cracked his knuckles.
Before James could come to a decision, a few wisps of smoke snaked their way back into Silvano’s body. They were enough to animate it like a marionette, its limbs moving jerkily as it input the code to retract the security shutters over the doors and windows.
“There, happy?” James asked facetiously. “You’re free to leave. Put those guns down.”
With a smug smile, Envy shook her head.
“Mandrake, grab that body. We’re taking him with us,” she announced.
When Silvano tried to slam the lockdown button again, Envy shot him, knocking him back into his seat. Before he was able to try a second time, The Mandrake had closed the distance between them. He grabbed him by the waist and slung him over his shoulder, impotently kicking and flailing like a toddler having a tantrum all the while.
“No!” James growled, his hologram disappearing and being replaced by countless others scattered throughout the room.
“What the hell?” Envy demanded as she fell back beside The Mandrake for protection.
“It’s a distraction! Shoot at the Retrovision! He’s coming through to get Silvano!” The Mandrake shouted.
Envy complied, firing multiple rounds at every image of James between them and the Retrovision, but all of them sailed clear through their targets. The smoke cloud suddenly condensed tightly around them, and The Mandrake made a break for the front door while he had the chance.
He was tackled from the side by someone moving at over fifty kilometers an hour, knocking him down and halfway across the room. When he looked up, he was completely surrounded by silhouettes of James bending down in the smoke to pick up Silvano. Jumping to his feet, he made his way back towards the Retrovision in the hopes of cutting James off.
Or at least, he thought that’s where he was going. The tumble to the floor and the encircling smoke had disoriented him, and he ended up tripping over Seneca, who was once again unable to stand from the sickening smoke.
James brushed by them in a blur, and Envy fired every last bullet trying to put him down. Each one either missed or succeeded only in striking Silvano, who was slung over James’ back.
The smoke retreated with them, and The Mandrake dashed after them in one final bid to keep them from escaping. They were just feet away from him before they leapt through the Retrovision, vanishing into the basement universe of the Darlings’ playroom. The Mandrake dared to reach in after them and pull them back, but his hand hit nothing but solid glass.
“Damnit!” he cursed, striking the top of the box set with his fist.
“Don’t break it!” Envy shouted. “If that Retrovision came from the Darlings’ playroom and was modified by James, it could be useful in tracking them down again!”
“It also gives them a two-way ticket to wherever we keep it!” The Mandrake shouted back.
“Oh yes, it would be a gamble taking this old girl with you. No doubt about that,” the black and white visage of James mocked them from the other side of the screen, taking a victory drag from his cigarette. “But on the other hand, it is one of my finer works. It would be a crime, an atrocity even, to destroy it.”
The Mandrake struck the box set again, but deliberately held back on damaging it.
“Mandrake, enough!” Envy commanded. “I know it’s risky, but we need it. Turn it off and pick it up. We’re getting out of this hellhole.”
“Don’t feel bad, Mr. Mandrake. I’m sure you’ll have another chance to end up in Sara Darling’s doll collection very soon,” James taunted just before The Mandrake managed to turn the Retrovision off.
“What an absolute waste of time,” he muttered as he lifted the vintage box set off the floor.
“Not entirely!” Seneca claimed, who had not only recovered from his spectral smoke inhalation but was now holding an unlit cigar. “Crow, Crowley & Chamberlain has a lien on this shop, and since Silvano just ran out on us and has thrown his lot in with the Darlings, this place and everything left in it is ours!”
He was just about to light it before Envy snatched it out of his hands.
“The Mandrake wasn’t bluffing about the municipal health bylaws,” she informed him. “From now on, this is a smoke-free building.”

People are exhausting. It’s long past time for me to stop expecting so much from them, like how to read.
Most of my morning was spent dealing with people absolutely baffled at the idea of having to pay for food in a restaurant—they were hoping for complimentary breakfast (or “continental breakfast” as they insist on calling it 🙄). I’m pretty sure one lady is gonna leave a bad review on me because of it, because I’m clearly the one who made her stay at the hotel.
So I was mentally exhausted by the time this situation started.
Some time around noon, housekeeping called about a room due to check out that still had belongings in it. I called the phone number on file, and it was out of service (of course 😒). A short while later, a group came back into the hotel, and on a hunch, I called the room. The group answered. I asked if they needed to extend for another day.
“No, we’re checking out tomorrow.”
“Okay, I have in my system that you’re checking out today, and checkout was at 11.”
”How is our checkout today when we just got here at 2 in the morning?”
I started trying to explain how night audit works and how the system has to roll over to the next day, but I might as well have been talking to a baby. The group told me they’re on the way down.
One of the guys came up to me at the desk and explains that the night audit guy told him his checkout would be “tomorrow”. Again, for some reason, I tried to explain how night audit works, how the concept of time is warped overnight and he just simply misspoke—really wasting my breath there.
”Well I’m gonna need my refund because I didn’t get my 24 hours!”
What??? NO ONE gets 24 hours in a hotel at the price you paid.
”It’s just the principle. I feel like y’all are scamming us right now. Your employee told us one thing and now you’re saying we gotta leave, so I need a refund. It’s the principle!”
BITCH, SPELL PRINCIPLE RIGHT NOW AND I WILL GIVE YOU A REFUND.
I will grant him the fact that what the night auditor said was misleading. However, there was a cute little piece of paper my guy signed when he checked in saying when his checkout date was (TODAY).
Still, he wanted to talk to a manger, who ended up saying the exact same thing I said, along with a firm “There will be no refund.”
They were so pleased when they left /s 😌

(Took place at Healing Wings, Nelspruit.)
Rehab was a hard time in general. In short it was 9 months of manual labor, the counselors were shit, the food was shit, our rooms were shit, the rules were ultra shit, and the people were full of shit. Half the people had come to their senses and were actively working on changing themselves for the better, the other half were causing trouble however they could, and some people outright deserved to be in a psychiatric hospital.

One such person was a kid from Brakpan called Dameon,
Dameon was the worst of them all, he was a CLINICAL psychopath, the kind of person to commit cold hearted murder for the rush of it. At the age of 11 he strangled his own puppy because he “got mad at it”. At 12 he attempted to murder his entire family by putting rat poison in the kettle during breakfast. Luckily no one died as humans TEND to have more braincells than a rat, and can tell the difference between a tummy bug and a seizure.

Dameon was sent to a short term psychiatric hospital (Life Poortview) for therapy after his parents could no longer handle his irrational behavior. At the hospital they diagnosed him with an array of disorders, including autism for whatever reason, yet they didn’t diagnose him as a sociopath as he “it was too early to tell”. They put this dude on so many types of medication, three times a day when we’d take our medication this dude would stick out his hand where the nurse would proceed to fill it with as many pills as his chubby hand could hold, I swear at least 5 of them after each meal. You name it, he was on shit for OCD, ADHD, anxiety, bipolar, tranquilizers, anti psychotics, it was a pharmaceutical long island iced tea. This guy was FUCKED
Now I’m sure some of you are still uncertain whether this guy was a psychopath or a really naughty kid, let me settle the conclusion. In rehab there was a strict set of rules everyone had to adhere to, who you can’t talk to, where you’re allowed to be, what type of music you’re not allowed to sing, which words you’re not allowed to say, and a long list of other things you can’t due. The penalty system used time as a unit, you forget your pen at church that’s a day of consequences, you swear or blasphemy that’s a week. Most kids had anywhere from a week to a month or two of consequences which they’d serve. This dude had years. On the board that tracked his consequences it said “until Jesus returns”.

Due to his bad behavior he was put on “shadowing”, he was assigned a mentor who he had to follow 24/7, he couldn’t be leave his side for even a second otherwise he’d receive more consequences. Dameon was my shadow for two months, I shared a bunk bed with him, I stood outside the door while he pooped, I listened to his weekly phone calls with his parents and had to write down everything he said. It was traumatic to say the least.

Dameon’s epidemy of entertainment was making my life hell, anything, absolutely anything, to get a rise out of me, the bigger the rise the bigger the kick. Scorpion under my pillow, stealing a family photo and watching me go insane looking for it all afternoon, collecting sharp things and telling me how he’s going to murder me in my sleep, eavesdropping on my personal phone calls and taking cracks at my family, calling my name while I’m looking the other direction and javelining a rake or shovel at my face as I look his way. I still have stab marks on my arms and stomach from a ballpoint pen, smashed piece of mirror and a sharpened stick. You get the picture.

Dameon had two emotions, this smug sinister opioid like feeling watching others suffer due to his actions, and this deep sense of hopelessness and self pity when he had to deal with the consequences and realized that he has no form of connection with any human being. Being his shadow I only had two types of feelings towards him, total anger and total pity.

Dameon was aware of this disorder despite the fact that no one ever told him “you’re a clinical psychopath without proper emotions”, Dameon suffered a type of misery I will never begin to fathom, I could see it in his eyes and his actions that he was trapped in a body and mind with a severe malfunction. The consensus between me and the other residents is that he won’t make it to thirty, and the sooner his suffering ends the better for him and others, a grim statement that I never thought would cross my mind about anyone.

Dameon received next to no counseling or therapy, and was left to be antagonized and bullied by the other residents for his short overweight appearance, his bad English (he was Afrikaans). Rehab was NOT the place to put this kid, the other teenagers (aged 14-19) were rough and relentless, Dameon was beat up multiple times. The one time he was getting beat up after saying something about some dude’s mother, and honest to god three of us just stood there and watched for a minute until someone came and intervened. Most of us were there had enough to deal with as it was and this young kid came in there with the intent to amplify as much chaos and misery as possible. Of the four counselors three of them voted to expel him after a month of his two year stay in rehab, one counselor, his counselor, decided his situation was redeemable. I believe he kept him there to cause chaos that we could grow from. I won’t lie living with him was traumatic, but what it taught me, fuck I couldn’t even explain.

He was expelled after stabbing someone with a large piece of glass and sent to a juvenile detention center after I left the rehab, I honestly doubt he’s doing much better. His parents have given up on him and stopped calling him during his weekly ten minute calls, one of the residents sued him for assault and he has a criminal record