Auspicious days of marriage in 2010
Recovering as one after infidelity
2018.02.18 15:59 MrDubstepz Recovering as one after infidelity
AOAI is an online Peer Support Group and safe space for individuals (betrayed or wayward) who are actively attempting to reconcile after infidelity. Reconciliation peer support is emotional and practical support between people who share the common experience of reconciling after infidelity. (Observers are strictly limited to messages of support only.) Kindly read the rules before participating.
2011.12.18 06:33 soupyhands Algorithmic Art
FractalPorn is for fractal art only. [This subreddit is now private. Click here to find out why we have gone dark](https://www.theverge.com/2023/6/5/23749188/reddit-subreddit-private-protest-api-changes-apollo-charges). Don't bother asking to join.
2012.09.09 18:46 Crono30067 Back when everything was better.
Let's spin a fidget spinner back to time with 2010snostalgia! Do you miss playing the classic iPad games without any worries of Homework or Taxes? Do you love Angry Birds? 2010snostalgia is the right place! The best place to reminisce about the years 2010 - 2019!
2024.05.19 10:00 AutoModerator Weekly Results Discussion 05/19 to 05/25
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You may be interested in posting at /whatworkedforme.
You are always encouraged to share your non-pregnancy-related infertility experiences with people asking questions on the sub and continue to support other community members here on infertility
submitted by AutoModerator to infertility [link] [comments]
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HELPFUL INFO
Click 'view table' on mobile:| For a comprehensive Beta database, check out http://www.betabase.info/ for more information on beta based on DPO (DPO = days post transfer + 3, or 5 day embryo; DPO = Days post Insemination for IUI). |
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| Radiopaedia on Fetal bradycardia |
| Normal Ranges of Embryonic Length, Embryonic Heart Rate PDF! |
You are always encouraged to share your non-pregnancy-related infertility experiences with people asking questions on the sub and continue to support other community members here on infertility
2024.05.19 09:56 canary_23 Is it my place to talk about my mom’s suicide attempt?
My mom attempted to take her life approximately 1 week ago now. She tried to overdose on sleeping pills but realized what she was doing was wrong and forced herself to throw up. 10, to be exact, and I know this because I was the first person she told.
Background: my mom and stepdad have always had a difficult relationship. Things were fine for the first few years. I had an instinctive hatred/short temper for him that genuinely confused me because he was never mean to me to begin with. It became extremely apparent over the last couple years of their marriage that my mother is basically doing everything in this house for everyone and is the only parental figure providing any emotional support to any of the kids in this house. This has caused a lot of fights and stress for everyone involved. Fast forward to last weekend, my mother finally reached a breaking point and went to the hospital. She apparently sat in a room, alone, for 7 hours before she finally broke and tried to kill herself via overdose. As said before, she threw it up.
This is where her timeline got confusing over the phone because allegedly two hours after her OD attempt when I woke up to my phone ringing and she eventually got through her hysterics and told me everything, she was currently in her car with my two TODDLER SIBLINGS IN THE BACK SEAT LISTENING TO THIS ENTIRE CONVERSATION, driving down our road like she had recently left our house. I was at my dad’s at this time so I was concerned out of my mind not only for my mom but my siblings especially. She was clearly not in a good state of mind and the fact that she might try to take herself out again and bring my siblings with her this time terrified me. My mom told me she didn’t know where was safe to go, so I directed her to my grandmas house and called her to make sure she knew why my mom had shown up out of the blue. My grandma and my other grandma from my mom’s other side of the family took care of her from there and got her admitted in a hospital for a few days.
Being the first person to hear all these details and have to take the initiative to protect my mom and sibling was horrible. I hated feeling like my hand was being forced and that I had to assume leadership because there was not one else suitable enough to make a good choice at that moment.
Also, another very important detail: my sister doesn’t know about mom’s suicide attempt. She was told mom was having mental health issues and went to the hospital to seek help, but I’ve made it abundantly clear to everyone who I told/has been told about the situation that under no circumstances will my sisters ever know about my phone call with my mom. At this moment, I can’t feel much of anything towards it, but I know if anyone asks for details I’m probably going to crumble. I hated having to lie about when I found out mom was in the hospital and what I know, I can’t lie to her face again. She literally found out through a cousin that our mom was in the hospital because I wasn’t ready to explain things to her (the cousin wasn’t supposed to know anything, and that was only 2 days after the original phone call).
The worst of it all? While she was in the hospital, she missed Mother’s Day (we had plans to eat at our favorite restaurant. Instead, I ate a cold burrito left over from the day before) and my last concert of this year (I performed over half of the songs, including a special spotlight moment with my trio. It meant a lot to me and I thought she would’ve gotten out in time to see it so I was devastated). And since, I haven’t seen her face. She’s called me, both from the hospital and from her phone after she got out, everyday since. And the days we don’t call, we text. She doesn’t know when me and my sister will be able to go back to staying at her house right now and it’s eating me up.
I hate having to ask for project extensions because I physically cannot pick up the supplies I need at this moment given that they are at my mom’s house. And I hate that literally the only people I can talk to are adults. Not just adults either, it’s only my grandmas, my aunt and uncle who watched my toddler siblings when my mom was in the hospital, my dad, my stepmom, and my school counselor. So, options are limited. I just want to rant to my friends and talk to people who aren’t going to pity me and remind me over and over “It’s not your fault. Your mom never should’ve called you and told you all that, but now it’s in our hands so don’t worry.” No, I just want someone to be real with me. Yeah, I know it’s fucked up that out of everyone in her phone, my mother chose her teenage daughter. No explanation needed. Just someone for the love of god just tell me “dude that’s fucking messed up, but continue”.
I have so much I want to talk about and not enough people I can actually talk to. But is it even my place to talk about it? I wouldn’t want people telling everyone about my attempt, but then again if you’re going to vent to your child, I think in a way it’s my traumatic experience to talk about as well. Idk really, I tend to become a one track mind when I’m processing trauma. Thoughts?
submitted by canary_23 to u/canary_23 [link] [comments]
Background: my mom and stepdad have always had a difficult relationship. Things were fine for the first few years. I had an instinctive hatred/short temper for him that genuinely confused me because he was never mean to me to begin with. It became extremely apparent over the last couple years of their marriage that my mother is basically doing everything in this house for everyone and is the only parental figure providing any emotional support to any of the kids in this house. This has caused a lot of fights and stress for everyone involved. Fast forward to last weekend, my mother finally reached a breaking point and went to the hospital. She apparently sat in a room, alone, for 7 hours before she finally broke and tried to kill herself via overdose. As said before, she threw it up.
This is where her timeline got confusing over the phone because allegedly two hours after her OD attempt when I woke up to my phone ringing and she eventually got through her hysterics and told me everything, she was currently in her car with my two TODDLER SIBLINGS IN THE BACK SEAT LISTENING TO THIS ENTIRE CONVERSATION, driving down our road like she had recently left our house. I was at my dad’s at this time so I was concerned out of my mind not only for my mom but my siblings especially. She was clearly not in a good state of mind and the fact that she might try to take herself out again and bring my siblings with her this time terrified me. My mom told me she didn’t know where was safe to go, so I directed her to my grandmas house and called her to make sure she knew why my mom had shown up out of the blue. My grandma and my other grandma from my mom’s other side of the family took care of her from there and got her admitted in a hospital for a few days.
Being the first person to hear all these details and have to take the initiative to protect my mom and sibling was horrible. I hated feeling like my hand was being forced and that I had to assume leadership because there was not one else suitable enough to make a good choice at that moment.
Also, another very important detail: my sister doesn’t know about mom’s suicide attempt. She was told mom was having mental health issues and went to the hospital to seek help, but I’ve made it abundantly clear to everyone who I told/has been told about the situation that under no circumstances will my sisters ever know about my phone call with my mom. At this moment, I can’t feel much of anything towards it, but I know if anyone asks for details I’m probably going to crumble. I hated having to lie about when I found out mom was in the hospital and what I know, I can’t lie to her face again. She literally found out through a cousin that our mom was in the hospital because I wasn’t ready to explain things to her (the cousin wasn’t supposed to know anything, and that was only 2 days after the original phone call).
The worst of it all? While she was in the hospital, she missed Mother’s Day (we had plans to eat at our favorite restaurant. Instead, I ate a cold burrito left over from the day before) and my last concert of this year (I performed over half of the songs, including a special spotlight moment with my trio. It meant a lot to me and I thought she would’ve gotten out in time to see it so I was devastated). And since, I haven’t seen her face. She’s called me, both from the hospital and from her phone after she got out, everyday since. And the days we don’t call, we text. She doesn’t know when me and my sister will be able to go back to staying at her house right now and it’s eating me up.
I hate having to ask for project extensions because I physically cannot pick up the supplies I need at this moment given that they are at my mom’s house. And I hate that literally the only people I can talk to are adults. Not just adults either, it’s only my grandmas, my aunt and uncle who watched my toddler siblings when my mom was in the hospital, my dad, my stepmom, and my school counselor. So, options are limited. I just want to rant to my friends and talk to people who aren’t going to pity me and remind me over and over “It’s not your fault. Your mom never should’ve called you and told you all that, but now it’s in our hands so don’t worry.” No, I just want someone to be real with me. Yeah, I know it’s fucked up that out of everyone in her phone, my mother chose her teenage daughter. No explanation needed. Just someone for the love of god just tell me “dude that’s fucking messed up, but continue”.
I have so much I want to talk about and not enough people I can actually talk to. But is it even my place to talk about it? I wouldn’t want people telling everyone about my attempt, but then again if you’re going to vent to your child, I think in a way it’s my traumatic experience to talk about as well. Idk really, I tend to become a one track mind when I’m processing trauma. Thoughts?
2024.05.19 09:53 hi20cm Should I do it again?
What happened to me was fucking hot. I don't have much of a sex life outside of my marriage, but when I'm out of my home area, I log into grinddr and feeld to see what guys or couples are in the area.
Last Thursday, I was at the mall, which is more than 20km from home, and I started chatting with some guys, for a while, until I ended up chatting only with a young and versatile guy. First he sent me some photos of his penis, ass and body, and I sent him mine. Until then, everything was normal, but then, I gave him access to my private photos and he accessed mine. That's when I realized what a mistake I had made. He was a boy who lives near my house in the same street, with his parents, with whom we have exchanged a few words, and surely he would also know me and my family. I didn't know what to do, so I just wrote sorry F...(his name) and he replied Hello M.... (my name) I apologized to him, and asked him to forget this, to which he replied that now who had seen me was more interested in us meeting in person. I froze for a moment, because he is young, because he knows my wife, and because then I would be forced to see him almost always. But on the other hand, I thought about the photos that he had sent me and I liked that ass with little hair and that long, thin penis. In the end I told him to come home on Saturday morning since my wife has a class with activities for her and our baby.
I am 46, I was excited but afraid. He is 19 years old, he arrived that morning also a little nervous, it could be seen in his voice, I invited him in and then I told him we should go to a TV room, I asked him if he wanted something to drink and he was speechless. , I told him that I was nervous too, I took his hand and put it on my penis, over my pants. This was the key that unlocked everything, he began to rub me harder and his mouth kissed me, his tongue searched for mine and I let myself go. My mouth also kissed him and I liked how his tongue tangled with mine. My cock was already feeling his grip and it was already hard but rolled up under my pants. While we were kissing, I took out my cock and his. My cock was already erect, pointing towards him, colliding with his flaccid cock, I hugged him so that our bodies made complete contact and I kissed him. I felt his mouth on mine, our tongues together, I felt my hands on his buttocks, gripping them tightly, his hands on my buttocks, our breasts were in contact, our bellies, our penises, our feet... it was an incredible sensation. . Then I kneeled down and put his flaccid penis in my mouth. I licked it, sucked it, and jerked it off. His cock was getting big and hard but after a few inputs and outputs of my mouth he moaned and cumed up inside my mouth. He apologized, but I caressed his buttocks and I continued sucking his cock while I swallowed his cum until his cock stopped pulsing.
I stood in front of him and we kissed again. This sensation is very strange, I have kissed very few men and in general I have not felt anything. This young boy's mouth was different, it excited me. After kissing his lips, I guided him down with my hands until he was kneeling in front of me. He just looked at me, this made me get even harder. I grabbed his head with one hand, my cock with the other and brought it closer to his mouth, he opened it a little and part of my cock went in. Now both my hands were holding his head while the tip of my cock was in his mouth. Little by little I was sinking my cock deeper into his mouth, although part of it didn't fit. I fucked his mouth for a while and then I released his head and sat on the living room couch. He didn't waste any time, he walked on all fours towards me and continued sucking my cock.
After a while, I told him to lie down on the couch, I sucked his cock and balls again, but they were still flaccid, I raised one of his legs and then the other, and licked his ass, this one is clear and has little hair along her slit and around her ass hole, it was delicious, I licked it, I kissed it, I put my tongue in, then I put a finger in... My cock wanted it, it was very hard. I put on a condom and lube while I continued licking his ass hole.
I felt how his ass hole throbbed and opened with my tongue. I brought my cock closer to his ass hole and inserted the tip and a bit more. I felt how his anus tightened and imprisoned 1/4 of my cock inside. At this moment he told me "slowly, it hurts, it's the first time I've been fucked." "Calm down baby" I told him, I brought my face closer to his and kissed him while I let my cock out. I put the boy on his side and I behind him, I caressed him from behind and I put a lot of lubricant on his hole, until I felt that he relaxed and was opening to let my fingers enter with lubricant. I put the tip again at the entrance of his anus, and this time I went very slowly, millimeter by millimeter, I found no resistance, he moaned while my penis little by little was already more than half inside, then until his buttocks were completely leaning on my lap, with my entire penis inside her beautiful ass.
One of my hands held his hip while the other grabbed his head and leaned it towards me, to kiss him while he fucked him. I fucked him slowly at first and increased the intensity, I felt how his buttocks were hitting my legs, how the walls of his anus were squeezing my cock. I didn't last long, I cummed on her ass intensely, we stayed in that position for a while, until my penis came out, with the condom a little loose and hanging. I sat down and he settled down, staying next to me, lying facing me. I was captivated by the way he looked and his young body. His penis was still flaccid, I leaned over to caress it. He apologized for not having an erection and he told me that he was nervous, he also said that this was his first time being fucked by a man and that he had been incredible, that he had liked it a lot. At 46 years old, I had had the honor for the first time in my life of taking someone's virginity. While we were getting dressed, I told him that if he liked it, we could do it again another day. Before leaving the house, he came up and kissed me, with his tongue searching for mine, I opened the door and he left. Should I do it again? Until now this game with other men was just that, a game. This boy has something that attracts me. On the one hand he scares me and on the other hand he excites me should
submitted by hi20cm to askgaybisexles [link] [comments]
Last Thursday, I was at the mall, which is more than 20km from home, and I started chatting with some guys, for a while, until I ended up chatting only with a young and versatile guy. First he sent me some photos of his penis, ass and body, and I sent him mine. Until then, everything was normal, but then, I gave him access to my private photos and he accessed mine. That's when I realized what a mistake I had made. He was a boy who lives near my house in the same street, with his parents, with whom we have exchanged a few words, and surely he would also know me and my family. I didn't know what to do, so I just wrote sorry F...(his name) and he replied Hello M.... (my name) I apologized to him, and asked him to forget this, to which he replied that now who had seen me was more interested in us meeting in person. I froze for a moment, because he is young, because he knows my wife, and because then I would be forced to see him almost always. But on the other hand, I thought about the photos that he had sent me and I liked that ass with little hair and that long, thin penis. In the end I told him to come home on Saturday morning since my wife has a class with activities for her and our baby.
I am 46, I was excited but afraid. He is 19 years old, he arrived that morning also a little nervous, it could be seen in his voice, I invited him in and then I told him we should go to a TV room, I asked him if he wanted something to drink and he was speechless. , I told him that I was nervous too, I took his hand and put it on my penis, over my pants. This was the key that unlocked everything, he began to rub me harder and his mouth kissed me, his tongue searched for mine and I let myself go. My mouth also kissed him and I liked how his tongue tangled with mine. My cock was already feeling his grip and it was already hard but rolled up under my pants. While we were kissing, I took out my cock and his. My cock was already erect, pointing towards him, colliding with his flaccid cock, I hugged him so that our bodies made complete contact and I kissed him. I felt his mouth on mine, our tongues together, I felt my hands on his buttocks, gripping them tightly, his hands on my buttocks, our breasts were in contact, our bellies, our penises, our feet... it was an incredible sensation. . Then I kneeled down and put his flaccid penis in my mouth. I licked it, sucked it, and jerked it off. His cock was getting big and hard but after a few inputs and outputs of my mouth he moaned and cumed up inside my mouth. He apologized, but I caressed his buttocks and I continued sucking his cock while I swallowed his cum until his cock stopped pulsing.
I stood in front of him and we kissed again. This sensation is very strange, I have kissed very few men and in general I have not felt anything. This young boy's mouth was different, it excited me. After kissing his lips, I guided him down with my hands until he was kneeling in front of me. He just looked at me, this made me get even harder. I grabbed his head with one hand, my cock with the other and brought it closer to his mouth, he opened it a little and part of my cock went in. Now both my hands were holding his head while the tip of my cock was in his mouth. Little by little I was sinking my cock deeper into his mouth, although part of it didn't fit. I fucked his mouth for a while and then I released his head and sat on the living room couch. He didn't waste any time, he walked on all fours towards me and continued sucking my cock.
After a while, I told him to lie down on the couch, I sucked his cock and balls again, but they were still flaccid, I raised one of his legs and then the other, and licked his ass, this one is clear and has little hair along her slit and around her ass hole, it was delicious, I licked it, I kissed it, I put my tongue in, then I put a finger in... My cock wanted it, it was very hard. I put on a condom and lube while I continued licking his ass hole.
I felt how his ass hole throbbed and opened with my tongue. I brought my cock closer to his ass hole and inserted the tip and a bit more. I felt how his anus tightened and imprisoned 1/4 of my cock inside. At this moment he told me "slowly, it hurts, it's the first time I've been fucked." "Calm down baby" I told him, I brought my face closer to his and kissed him while I let my cock out. I put the boy on his side and I behind him, I caressed him from behind and I put a lot of lubricant on his hole, until I felt that he relaxed and was opening to let my fingers enter with lubricant. I put the tip again at the entrance of his anus, and this time I went very slowly, millimeter by millimeter, I found no resistance, he moaned while my penis little by little was already more than half inside, then until his buttocks were completely leaning on my lap, with my entire penis inside her beautiful ass.
One of my hands held his hip while the other grabbed his head and leaned it towards me, to kiss him while he fucked him. I fucked him slowly at first and increased the intensity, I felt how his buttocks were hitting my legs, how the walls of his anus were squeezing my cock. I didn't last long, I cummed on her ass intensely, we stayed in that position for a while, until my penis came out, with the condom a little loose and hanging. I sat down and he settled down, staying next to me, lying facing me. I was captivated by the way he looked and his young body. His penis was still flaccid, I leaned over to caress it. He apologized for not having an erection and he told me that he was nervous, he also said that this was his first time being fucked by a man and that he had been incredible, that he had liked it a lot. At 46 years old, I had had the honor for the first time in my life of taking someone's virginity. While we were getting dressed, I told him that if he liked it, we could do it again another day. Before leaving the house, he came up and kissed me, with his tongue searching for mine, I opened the door and he left. Should I do it again? Until now this game with other men was just that, a game. This boy has something that attracts me. On the one hand he scares me and on the other hand he excites me should
2024.05.19 09:51 Radiant_Life5521 Is secret nikkah permissible?
Salaam,
I (18) have been speaking to a guy (22) for 3 months. I would like to do nikkah so I do not fall into zina. However as I am still young I do not believe my father would agree to this, as he wishes for me to complete my education first.
Of course, I do understand that I am young and I haven’t known this guy for a long time to make a accurate judgement and yes, I also understand that I shouldn’t have spoken to him in the first place but what is done is done and I want to rectify my sin. I want to make this halal and do it right. I trust Allah and I believe the idea of marriage was planted into my head for a reason.
I also understand that it would be wise to consoled with my father first, but like I have said it would be extremely difficult for him to agree, I am the eldest child.
To be honest, even writing this I feel extreme stupidity. I shouldn’t have got myself in this situation in the first place and the most wise desision would be to leave him, and when my father is satfistfed with my amount of education then consider marriage. But, I know how I am and no amount of advice will allow me to stop talking to him, I think after a certain point you become attached to a person and even now if I wanted to leave him I could, but mentally I think it would be too much for me to bear. Which is why I am trying to find a way to rectify this situation, in a way that Allah will be pleased with me.
I’ve read about the Hanfi school of thaught. I don’t want to get a nikkah done and it not be valid because then it would still be zina.
For the nikkah, dosent the whole of society need to know that these two people have came together? I’m not sure, maybe the whole concept of a secret nikkah is wrong?
These days, it has been made so difficult for nikkah and there are so many expectations on the man. I read somewhere, if you do not have a lot you should still get married and Allah would give you more via blessings and barakah.
It’s not something I really want to do, I would rather have a wedding and invite everyone but with my current circumstances it would be too difficult to do, which is why I have started to consider this option.
Any advice would be deeply appreciated.
Jazakallah.
submitted by Radiant_Life5521 to MuslimLounge [link] [comments]
I (18) have been speaking to a guy (22) for 3 months. I would like to do nikkah so I do not fall into zina. However as I am still young I do not believe my father would agree to this, as he wishes for me to complete my education first.
Of course, I do understand that I am young and I haven’t known this guy for a long time to make a accurate judgement and yes, I also understand that I shouldn’t have spoken to him in the first place but what is done is done and I want to rectify my sin. I want to make this halal and do it right. I trust Allah and I believe the idea of marriage was planted into my head for a reason.
I also understand that it would be wise to consoled with my father first, but like I have said it would be extremely difficult for him to agree, I am the eldest child.
To be honest, even writing this I feel extreme stupidity. I shouldn’t have got myself in this situation in the first place and the most wise desision would be to leave him, and when my father is satfistfed with my amount of education then consider marriage. But, I know how I am and no amount of advice will allow me to stop talking to him, I think after a certain point you become attached to a person and even now if I wanted to leave him I could, but mentally I think it would be too much for me to bear. Which is why I am trying to find a way to rectify this situation, in a way that Allah will be pleased with me.
I’ve read about the Hanfi school of thaught. I don’t want to get a nikkah done and it not be valid because then it would still be zina.
For the nikkah, dosent the whole of society need to know that these two people have came together? I’m not sure, maybe the whole concept of a secret nikkah is wrong?
These days, it has been made so difficult for nikkah and there are so many expectations on the man. I read somewhere, if you do not have a lot you should still get married and Allah would give you more via blessings and barakah.
It’s not something I really want to do, I would rather have a wedding and invite everyone but with my current circumstances it would be too difficult to do, which is why I have started to consider this option.
Any advice would be deeply appreciated.
Jazakallah.
2024.05.19 09:50 Vampgirl87 My sister: The pick me girl
Key: for later in the story Older sister: Horse Younger sister: llama Me: Bunny My wife: Fox Creepy boyfriend: Leech
Anybody who has more than one kid in the family knows that one of them is a "pick me" child. Well I have one, my older sister. How do I describe her, you know the Pokemon Ditto? Yes just like that, a purple blob that mimics any Pokemon, she mimics anyone. She made my life a living hell. Get ready Reddit it's a long one. I will have to break this up into multiple parts.
Let's start with my childhood/teen years. So my older sister is a couple years older than me and our dad was married to her mom. Anyway our dad ends the marriage when he finds out her mother was cheating on him. A little bit after that my mom and dad got together and well ....they got married and then I was born. A couple of years later my little sister was born. My older sister's mom pretty much screwed my parents and had to take her every other week. God I hated those weekends because we had to do everything she wanted, buy the food that she could only eat, watch only what she wanted to watch, and she made my sister and I her own personal Barbie dolls. When I say personal Barbie dolls, she wanted to be a hairdresser when she was older and practice on us. She thought that she could get better -newsflash! -she didn't. One time she wanted to put curls in my hair so I let her when the curls came out I looked like bloody Shirley Temple. 😤
Adult years: It only got worse as we grew into adults. For some reason my older and younger sisters had competition between each other, which left me in the dark and that was okay, I was too weird for them. At this point I had gone through my own demons. Anyway, we are all "adults" The older sister still acts like she never grew up. In 2016, all hell broke loose my older sister got into sell mlms (yuck!). The only reason why she said that she got into selling mlms is because she was helping her friends, hmm yea no just wanted to be a part of a group. She was selling herbal life, a weight loss program, now she did lose the weight while on this program, but she didn't stick to it. Also at this time she was married to her husband of eight years. She then met her current boyfriend when her family moved to another town. After that her and the husband split up. Now reader ,I never said they got legally divorce so they are still married to this day while she is with another guy. In 2017, I met my lovely wife on Facebook. We had a long distance relationship for a 1.5 years. In 2018 they came over to the states and asked me to marry them and of course I said yes!! They came back over in early 2019 because we had an event plan and while they were here we had a big family dinner. Oh goodie, I would rather go to church then do this dinner. The day of the family dinner comes up and everyone is happy to meet my fiancee, Fox. Well let's get on with dinner. The whole family went and sat down, and even before we started eating, Horse insisted on saying a prayer, now I was raised Christian, but I am pagan and so is my fiancee. After that we went to the all you can eat buffet. Now my mom can't have the buffet because she has a seafood allergy (understandable) ,but Horse and Leech didn't go to the buffet because and I quote, " Oh Leech doesn't eat seafood and neither do I." In my brain I am "What?!? since when?!?" That was a lie 🤥!! She used to eat a pound of shrimp when we were the kids. As we were eating, we were talking to each other, Llama asked me, "Bunny where are you guys going to get married", and I explained that I was going to move to Ireland, (where I live now) and we are going to get married at the register office and later on we are...then Horse butt in and said, "Leech and I are getting married at the lake" All of sudden both Llama and I said,l: "Aren't you still married?!" That shut her up. Yes my reader she never got divorced , so legally she is still married. After that I finally got to say what I was going to say, "Going to have a vow renewal at Ren fest in Kansas City later on down the line." All of a sudden Horse said: "Oh there is no way Leech and I can go because Leech is a convicted CP." In my mind:" Wtf, you are my sister and you are picking a guy over my vow renewal ?!? After that , I lost all my respect for her. Like they say like mother like daughter. Would you like a part 2. Let me know!!! Thanks!!
submitted by Vampgirl87 to CharlotteDobreYouTube [link] [comments]
Anybody who has more than one kid in the family knows that one of them is a "pick me" child. Well I have one, my older sister. How do I describe her, you know the Pokemon Ditto? Yes just like that, a purple blob that mimics any Pokemon, she mimics anyone. She made my life a living hell. Get ready Reddit it's a long one. I will have to break this up into multiple parts.
Let's start with my childhood/teen years. So my older sister is a couple years older than me and our dad was married to her mom. Anyway our dad ends the marriage when he finds out her mother was cheating on him. A little bit after that my mom and dad got together and well ....they got married and then I was born. A couple of years later my little sister was born. My older sister's mom pretty much screwed my parents and had to take her every other week. God I hated those weekends because we had to do everything she wanted, buy the food that she could only eat, watch only what she wanted to watch, and she made my sister and I her own personal Barbie dolls. When I say personal Barbie dolls, she wanted to be a hairdresser when she was older and practice on us. She thought that she could get better -newsflash! -she didn't. One time she wanted to put curls in my hair so I let her when the curls came out I looked like bloody Shirley Temple. 😤
Adult years: It only got worse as we grew into adults. For some reason my older and younger sisters had competition between each other, which left me in the dark and that was okay, I was too weird for them. At this point I had gone through my own demons. Anyway, we are all "adults" The older sister still acts like she never grew up. In 2016, all hell broke loose my older sister got into sell mlms (yuck!). The only reason why she said that she got into selling mlms is because she was helping her friends, hmm yea no just wanted to be a part of a group. She was selling herbal life, a weight loss program, now she did lose the weight while on this program, but she didn't stick to it. Also at this time she was married to her husband of eight years. She then met her current boyfriend when her family moved to another town. After that her and the husband split up. Now reader ,I never said they got legally divorce so they are still married to this day while she is with another guy. In 2017, I met my lovely wife on Facebook. We had a long distance relationship for a 1.5 years. In 2018 they came over to the states and asked me to marry them and of course I said yes!! They came back over in early 2019 because we had an event plan and while they were here we had a big family dinner. Oh goodie, I would rather go to church then do this dinner. The day of the family dinner comes up and everyone is happy to meet my fiancee, Fox. Well let's get on with dinner. The whole family went and sat down, and even before we started eating, Horse insisted on saying a prayer, now I was raised Christian, but I am pagan and so is my fiancee. After that we went to the all you can eat buffet. Now my mom can't have the buffet because she has a seafood allergy (understandable) ,but Horse and Leech didn't go to the buffet because and I quote, " Oh Leech doesn't eat seafood and neither do I." In my brain I am "What?!? since when?!?" That was a lie 🤥!! She used to eat a pound of shrimp when we were the kids. As we were eating, we were talking to each other, Llama asked me, "Bunny where are you guys going to get married", and I explained that I was going to move to Ireland, (where I live now) and we are going to get married at the register office and later on we are...then Horse butt in and said, "Leech and I are getting married at the lake" All of sudden both Llama and I said,l: "Aren't you still married?!" That shut her up. Yes my reader she never got divorced , so legally she is still married. After that I finally got to say what I was going to say, "Going to have a vow renewal at Ren fest in Kansas City later on down the line." All of a sudden Horse said: "Oh there is no way Leech and I can go because Leech is a convicted CP." In my mind:" Wtf, you are my sister and you are picking a guy over my vow renewal ?!? After that , I lost all my respect for her. Like they say like mother like daughter. Would you like a part 2. Let me know!!! Thanks!!
2024.05.19 09:48 FlatwormDesperate809 22F searching for a decent man
- Age : I’m 22 year old female
- Age Range prospects: looking for age 26-30 year old man.
- Location & willing to relocate : Currently I live in karachi, Pakistan. Id love to relocate as long as the country is safe
- Ethnicity: im Pakistani, Sindhi but speak Urdu. Yes I’m open to mixing but preferably looking for someone who is fluent in urdu. The communication will be easier & our midset will be more compatible.
- Marital Status: Single
- Ideal Timeline for marriage: Within two years
- A Decent God fearing functional male who understands the responsibilities of life & spouse.
- He should be observing deen and a proper practicing man - prays 5 times a day fulfils the basics such as charity
- A man who understands & is great at conversations, loves having deep conversations about life, experiences and is gentle with his spouse
- He knows that his wife is a woman, a human and could make mistakes too in life. No one is perfect.
- I Would love to start a new family but might not be willing to move in with in laws after marriage.
- Soft spoken and healthy.
- Should not be too attached to the world.
Level of Education: Doctorate in Physical therapy, currently close to graduating and becoming a physical therapist.
Current Job Status: No job at the moment but might work after graduating in a year.
List of hobbies: Love reading & writing. I paint too at times. I have a thing to have peaceful alone time where I have no distraction. I think and ponder over life during those hours. I believe in meditation, Prayers and Peace. Love travelling to places that teach me something about life. Love exploring different places.
2024.05.19 09:47 Radiant_Life5521 Is secret nikkah permissible?
Salaam,
I (18) have been speaking to a guy (22) for 3 months. I would like to do nikkah so I do not fall into zina. However as I am still young I do not believe my father would agree to this, as he wishes for me to complete my education first.
Of course, I do understand that I am young and I haven’t known this guy for a long time to make a accurate judgement and yes, I also understand that I shouldn’t have spoken to him in the first place but what is done is done and I want to rectify my sin. I want to make this halal and do it right. I trust Allah and I believe the idea of marriage was planted into my head for a reason.
I also understand that it would be wise to consoled with my father first, but like I have said it would be extremely difficult for him to agree, I am the eldest child.
To be honest, even writing this I feel extreme stupidity. I shouldn’t have got myself in this situation in the first place and the most wise desision would be to leave him, and when my father is satfistfed with my amount of education then consider marriage. But, I know how I am and no amount of advice will allow me to stop talking to him, I think after a certain point you become attached to a person and even now if I wanted to leave him I could, but mentally I think it would be too much for me to bear. Which is why I am trying to find a way to rectify this situation, in a way that Allah will be pleased with me.
I’ve read about the Hanfi school of thaught. I don’t want to get a nikkah done and it not be valid because then it would still be zina.
For the nikkah, dosent the whole of society need to know that these two people have came together? I’m not sure, maybe the whole concept of a secret nikkah is wrong?
These days, it has been made so difficult for nikkah and there are so many expectations on the man. I read somewhere, if you do not have a lot you should still get married and Allah would give you more via blessings and barakah.
It’s not something I really want to do, I would rather have a wedding and invite everyone but with my current circumstances it would be too difficult to do, which is why I have started to consider this option.
Any advice would be deeply appreciated.
Jazakallah.
submitted by Radiant_Life5521 to Muslim [link] [comments]
I (18) have been speaking to a guy (22) for 3 months. I would like to do nikkah so I do not fall into zina. However as I am still young I do not believe my father would agree to this, as he wishes for me to complete my education first.
Of course, I do understand that I am young and I haven’t known this guy for a long time to make a accurate judgement and yes, I also understand that I shouldn’t have spoken to him in the first place but what is done is done and I want to rectify my sin. I want to make this halal and do it right. I trust Allah and I believe the idea of marriage was planted into my head for a reason.
I also understand that it would be wise to consoled with my father first, but like I have said it would be extremely difficult for him to agree, I am the eldest child.
To be honest, even writing this I feel extreme stupidity. I shouldn’t have got myself in this situation in the first place and the most wise desision would be to leave him, and when my father is satfistfed with my amount of education then consider marriage. But, I know how I am and no amount of advice will allow me to stop talking to him, I think after a certain point you become attached to a person and even now if I wanted to leave him I could, but mentally I think it would be too much for me to bear. Which is why I am trying to find a way to rectify this situation, in a way that Allah will be pleased with me.
I’ve read about the Hanfi school of thaught. I don’t want to get a nikkah done and it not be valid because then it would still be zina.
For the nikkah, dosent the whole of society need to know that these two people have came together? I’m not sure, maybe the whole concept of a secret nikkah is wrong?
These days, it has been made so difficult for nikkah and there are so many expectations on the man. I read somewhere, if you do not have a lot you should still get married and Allah would give you more via blessings and barakah.
It’s not something I really want to do, I would rather have a wedding and invite everyone but with my current circumstances it would be too difficult to do, which is why I have started to consider this option.
Any advice would be deeply appreciated.
Jazakallah.
2024.05.19 09:44 ThrowRa_426934 How do I, 42/M, get over her 43F?
How do I 42/M let go of her 43/F?
The title basically says it all. A few years ago my life kind of got all twisted around. First my near 20 year marriage ended. My ex cheated on me and I ended things. It was a difficult period and I was helped through it by my best friend and Coworker.
My friend, Hanna, and I met at work. We became fast friends and almost inseparable. I was a guest at her wedding, and a friend of her family as well. Her and her husband had an open marriage and a few months after my divorce we started dating (this was a mistake).
We quickly became almost inseparable, she spent more time with me than she did her husband, coming to my place after work and we usually spent at least one day on the weekend together. Per the rules of her marriage there were no overnights.
I tried to be friends with her husband but we had nothing in common except for both falling for Hanna. The first year of our relationship was great. It was the second year that went wonky.
I didn't know it but after the first year of us being together her husband wanted to close the relationship. She told him okay but never mentioned it to me. Since I didn't really talk to her husband I had no idea. The only difference I noticed was that she started talking about leaving her husband.
Anyway, long story short. Her and her husband went to couples therapy and she decided to stay with him. She claim clean to him about our continued relationship. He obviously wanted it to end, made her find a new job and completely cut contact with me. I found all of this out when she ended things with me.
That was about three years ago. I haven't talked to her since her last day at work. I miss her terribly. Losing her hurt me more than my marriage ending did. I've done therapy, I've dated other people, I've done everything I can to get over her but nothing seems to work.
I know what I did was wrong. I know she cheated on her husband with me and that means she likely would have eventually cheated on me as well. I know our relationship was probably doomed from the start. I hate that she made me an affair partner. I hate the pain that I'm sure her husband went through because I know that pain first hand... but given the chance I think I'd probably still take her back.
So, how do you get over someone that meant everything to you? How do stop thinking about them? Stop getting a flutter whenever you see their name? Therapy stopped me from wanting to self destructive. I want to let go over her and move on, sometimes I feel like I have gotten better but then she pops back in my mind. How do I move on?
submitted by ThrowRa_426934 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
The title basically says it all. A few years ago my life kind of got all twisted around. First my near 20 year marriage ended. My ex cheated on me and I ended things. It was a difficult period and I was helped through it by my best friend and Coworker.
My friend, Hanna, and I met at work. We became fast friends and almost inseparable. I was a guest at her wedding, and a friend of her family as well. Her and her husband had an open marriage and a few months after my divorce we started dating (this was a mistake).
We quickly became almost inseparable, she spent more time with me than she did her husband, coming to my place after work and we usually spent at least one day on the weekend together. Per the rules of her marriage there were no overnights.
I tried to be friends with her husband but we had nothing in common except for both falling for Hanna. The first year of our relationship was great. It was the second year that went wonky.
I didn't know it but after the first year of us being together her husband wanted to close the relationship. She told him okay but never mentioned it to me. Since I didn't really talk to her husband I had no idea. The only difference I noticed was that she started talking about leaving her husband.
Anyway, long story short. Her and her husband went to couples therapy and she decided to stay with him. She claim clean to him about our continued relationship. He obviously wanted it to end, made her find a new job and completely cut contact with me. I found all of this out when she ended things with me.
That was about three years ago. I haven't talked to her since her last day at work. I miss her terribly. Losing her hurt me more than my marriage ending did. I've done therapy, I've dated other people, I've done everything I can to get over her but nothing seems to work.
I know what I did was wrong. I know she cheated on her husband with me and that means she likely would have eventually cheated on me as well. I know our relationship was probably doomed from the start. I hate that she made me an affair partner. I hate the pain that I'm sure her husband went through because I know that pain first hand... but given the chance I think I'd probably still take her back.
So, how do you get over someone that meant everything to you? How do stop thinking about them? Stop getting a flutter whenever you see their name? Therapy stopped me from wanting to self destructive. I want to let go over her and move on, sometimes I feel like I have gotten better but then she pops back in my mind. How do I move on?
2024.05.19 09:38 GolfGang33 Should I move in with the MIL?
Short story long my MIL lost her 3rd job since Covid, her BF that was paying her bills for a combined 18ish months between the last two job losses left her and now she’s about to lose her house. My wife wants to help her out and I get that, problem is we can’t afford her mortgage and our rent. My wife wants to move in with MIL to pay her bills. I’m conflicted here… on one hand I would do the same for my mom and would expect my wife to do it with me, I want that house one day in the future when she passes that’s a cool couple hundred grand in our pockets for retirement or we can eventually just buy it off of her before then. On the other hand she’s over 50 with no higher education and won’t take a job that doesn’t pay less than 60k, so she’s got a limited job pool and she’s already been fired from 3 of those companies. She’s not easy to get along with and that’s why she got fired from the company I work for after I got her a job and also why I leave Christmas dinner as soon as possible.
How do I go about this discussion with her and my wife, how do I get through this without ruining my mental health or even my marriage? I need a plan of attack and maybe even a contract. I want to write up some type of contract that states that every dollar I put into the mortgage is either paid back to me when she sells the house to someone else or gets deducted from the price that she sells the house to us for. Thank you all for reading and I’ll give any more info if y’all need it.
TL:DR mother in law needs help with mortgage so I might have to live with a lady who can’t pay her bills or keep a job
submitted by GolfGang33 to inlaws [link] [comments]
How do I go about this discussion with her and my wife, how do I get through this without ruining my mental health or even my marriage? I need a plan of attack and maybe even a contract. I want to write up some type of contract that states that every dollar I put into the mortgage is either paid back to me when she sells the house to someone else or gets deducted from the price that she sells the house to us for. Thank you all for reading and I’ll give any more info if y’all need it.
TL:DR mother in law needs help with mortgage so I might have to live with a lady who can’t pay her bills or keep a job
2024.05.19 09:35 GolfGang33 Wife wants us to move into MILs house
Short story long my MIL lost her 3rd job since Covid, her BF that was paying her bills for a combined 18ish months between the last two job losses left her and now she’s about to lose her house. My wife wants to help her out and I get that, problem is we can’t afford her mortgage and our rent. My wife wants to move in with MIL to pay her bills. I’m conflicted here… on one hand I would do the same for my mom and would expect my wife to do it with me, I want that house one day in the future when she passes that’s a cool couple hundred grand in our pockets for retirement or we can eventually just buy it off of her before then. On the other hand she’s over 50 with no higher education and won’t take a job that doesn’t pay less than 60k, so she’s got a limited job pool and she’s already been fired from 3 of those companies. She’s not easy to get along with and that’s why she got fired from the company I work for after I got her a job and also why I leave Christmas dinner as soon as possible.
How do I go about this discussion with her and my wife, how do I get through this without ruining my mental health or even my marriage? I need a plan of attack and maybe even a contract. I want to write up some type of contract that states that every dollar I put into the mortgage is either paid back to me when she sells the house to someone else or gets deducted from the price that she sells the house to us for. Thank you all for reading and I’ll give any more info if y’all need it.
TL:DR mother in law needs help with mortgage so I might have to live with a lady who can’t pay her bills or keep a job
submitted by GolfGang33 to Marriage [link] [comments]
How do I go about this discussion with her and my wife, how do I get through this without ruining my mental health or even my marriage? I need a plan of attack and maybe even a contract. I want to write up some type of contract that states that every dollar I put into the mortgage is either paid back to me when she sells the house to someone else or gets deducted from the price that she sells the house to us for. Thank you all for reading and I’ll give any more info if y’all need it.
TL:DR mother in law needs help with mortgage so I might have to live with a lady who can’t pay her bills or keep a job
2024.05.19 09:23 kiwasabi LGBTQ+ The Plus Stands For Pedophile: The Illuminati is coming for your kids with Drag Queen/ Groomer Clown Story Hour, books in elementary school libraries which depict and normalize sex between children and adults. Transgenderism is pushed because Baphomet possesses both breasts and a male phallus
 | INTRODUCTION: submitted by kiwasabi to conservatives [link] [comments] To anyone with eyes that are able to see, it's very obvious that LGBTQ+ is a social engineering and mind control propaganda weapon being waged against all of humanity by the Illuminati. There are many reasons for this endless onslaught of pushing and overnormalizing everything that is gay, trans, and pedophilic. The Illuminati itself is comprised of around 13 bloodlines which are all hereditary incestuous and pedophilic families. So when you hear their puppets telling the joke "The Aristocrats" (LINK) which consists of so called comedians telling the most disgusting tale of an Aristocratic bloodline family having sex with each other and ending with "And they're called The Aristocrats", you'll know they're utilizing Revelation of the Method and putting it right out in the open as a "joke". The Illuminati utilizes Satanic Ritual Abuse and pedophilic incest in order to deliberately cause trauma to their progeny so that they can split their personalities and then program and control the new personality. This is called Project Monarch Trauma Based Mind Control. It was under Josef Mengele and the Nazis where this hereditary incest form of mind control was scientifically studied using the child prisoners of Auschwitz, most commonly with twin girls. After World War 2 and the fall of the Nazis, via Operation Paperclip, 1400 Nazi scientists and engineers were saved from the Nuremberg Trials via the Vatican Rat Line and were smuggled out of Germany into the United States, where they would go on to form the backbone of the Central Intelligence Agency and continue their Monarch Mind Control research. What's left out from the history books is that Josef Mengele "The Angel of Death" was also smuggled out of Nazi Germany and continued his horrific mind control research on twin girls for decades in the United States. What does this all have to do with LGBTQ+? Well, basically that joke "The Aristocrats" is the endgoal and endgame for all of Earth humanity. It's my theory that The Illuminati wants to normalize pedophilia to the point where a parent is required to encourage their children to engage in sexual relationships with grown adults. And if the parent pushes back on this abomination, The Illuminati wants to be able to take possession of the children via CPS Child Protective Services, "for their own safety" of course. BAPHOMET IS TRANSGENDER: One of the reasons in which the Illuminati is so obsessed with the unnatural concept of transgenderism is because their demon god Baphomet is generally depicted as possessing both female breasts and a male phallus. On public statues of Baphomet such as at Satanic Temples, he (or is that he/she?) is depicted without breasts due to public decency laws. Once you understand that The Illuminati worships a transgender demon god, then you'll understand why they want your children to be gay and trans. Oh yeah, and did you notice the American Medical Association symbol coming out of Baphomet's crotch? How did that get there? Now does it make sense why it has wings as well? https://preview.redd.it/jo74m4ybkp0d1.jpg?width=1200&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d9d23860fada0f893545ec59cd2f9861811bbff9 https://preview.redd.it/oatdlf64ar0d1.png?width=332&format=png&auto=webp&s=8be61945a59d912098cb3452b64d315c8102cec1 Now does it make sense why Target was selling a LGBTQ Transgender children's sweater with the Baphomet symbol on it? (LINK) SATAN'S RAINBOW: https://preview.redd.it/g4btql1t9r0d1.jpg?width=552&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6226bea836ac5ae09694acecf1217c57acb9b927 SEX IN LGBTQ SCHOOL LIBRARY BOOKS: When I was growing up, I do recall reading some books such as Catcher in the Rye which did contain some sexual themes and profanity. However, in recent years the sexualization of children has been thoroughly ramped up via LGBTQ propaganda in the form of sexually explicit school library books. Children are still trying to figure out who they really are as a person, and by indoctrinating them with gender confusion propaganda at such a young age we are ensuring they will be steered in the wrong direction. Which is of course exactly what The Powers That Be really want. By the way, when I was searching for examples of LGBTQ books with sexual content, I had to scroll through 3 pages of LGBTQ apologist articles decrying about all these "banned LGBTQ books". What's interesting is that all of these CIA Mockingbird Media propaganda articles always say the books are being banned for their LGBTQ content, not for their explicit sexual content (which doesn't necessarily have to be gay or trans in any way). For instance, ABC News"Report: LGBTQ content drove book banning efforts in 2023" (LINK) and NBC News "More than half of 2023's most challenged books have LGBTQ themes" (LINK). Note how they're obfuscating the sexually inappropriate content by calling it "LGBTQ themes" instead. Perhaps this is The Illuminati actually revealing the truth out in the open, that "LGBTQ content" actually means sexually inappropriate content which is directed at children? Let's call LGBTQ elementary school library books what they really are: the sexualization and grooming of children by predators and pedophiles. Sexualizing Schoolchildren: Classroom and Library Books (LINK) "Parent and Child Loudoun reviewed and listed hundreds of age-inappropriate, sexually confusing, explicit, objectionable, and profane books that were placed in schools in classrooms and libraries in their district. Here are just a few examples:
"The books in question are largely teen and young adult stories involving romance or sexual abuse, often with LGBTQ themes. Several were critically acclaimed. They include:
Target Sells Trans Clothing to Children Designed by Satanic Transgender (LINK) A clothing line as part of Target's LGBTQ children's products was designed by a Satanist female to male transgender named Erik Kallen, under the brand name Abprallen. There were only three products being marketed by the Abprallen brand, and none of them depicted the blatant Satanic imagery that was shared around the internet as part of a hoax with AI generated images (LINK). However, as I pointed out above, one of the sweatshirts in the collection does contain the Baphomet symbol. And it doesn't take much exploring of Abprallen's Instagram profile to find some unsettling content (LINK). Erik Kallen made a statement saying, "My work was likely pulled following false accusations of being a Satanist and marketing my work to children, both claims have been debunked numerous times but members of the religious right refuse to back down". https://preview.redd.it/7pdsq8r54q0d1.jpg?width=912&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d46c8d192bc50043e378c7be2d18fd162d67746c Claims that you were a Satanist were thoroughly debunked, you say? Which "Guardian Angel" (Demon) is a transgender again? Oh yeah, Baphomet. And what were you doing at the Satanic Flea Market in London? Also, I thought you said "Satan Respects Pronouns"? https://preview.redd.it/ferg6lr75q0d1.jpg?width=912&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5beef8365b280f2a9c251a2c396f1fcb0ad9df54 https://preview.redd.it/zpoyqsc96q0d1.jpg?width=728&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=67c22356d03ab50bea569d083afec37d10af5805 "I'm gay, trans, and a secret third thing..." Does anyone care to guess what is meant by that? "I support gay wrongs", "Gay supervillain", "Make More Gay Horror Movies". https://preview.redd.it/w9lkj8et6q0d1.jpg?width=912&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=749874db6545c8fc670af031a46259f0912e7703 Take "Poppers" to open your "Third Eye" (Hint: He doesn't mean your pineal gland....he means your butthole"). Illuminati confirmed. https://preview.redd.it/u3q7z0028q0d1.jpg?width=892&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=80dfd6b11268122d8c367867aa67782c8effeeea https://preview.redd.it/s047iqvm8q0d1.jpg?width=892&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=bbb51efe6a51b224d87aa937e5aac520dda684ee https://preview.redd.it/bx4ewlx49q0d1.jpg?width=716&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6fcc28213453c8c6a88db6caec3663c1ef4fe003 https://preview.redd.it/r72gurpi9q0d1.jpg?width=892&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=611d83691ff3850796f873f2480f98f65ed50ed5 https://preview.redd.it/tmtv1dp0aq0d1.jpg?width=892&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=26615b9946de7722d59dca3be75a0145b9771956 As far as I'm concerned, all the claims about Erik Callen being a Satanist and marketing products to children have been thoroughly UNDEBUNKED just based on his products and post history on Instagram. This to me is clearly a case of classic bait and switch. Market some seemingly innocent "trans inclusive" clothing to children, get them hooked on the Abprallen brand while they're young, then "transition" them to the more seedy and shady product offerings. Based on the products and images shown above, can this really be considered a gender identity? Or is this more appropriately categorized as a mental illness and a cult? The embracing of confusion. The final culmination of the "Nothing is real" mind control psy op social engineering. Now literally GENDER ISN'T REAL. And "Men can get pregnant". "MEN CAN GET PREGNANT" As I previously posted, Arnold Schwarzenegger was replaced by an imposter in a mask wearing heavy facial prosthetics in 1990 (LINK). As part of the Illuminati's ongoing Ritual Mocking of the Victim / Humiliation Ritual against the name and image of Arnold Schwarzenegger, in 1994 the fake Arnold Schwarzenegger was placed into a travesty of a film called Junior (1994). As you can see from the film's poster, "Nothing is inconceivable". What a funny pun, right? They mean "conceive" as in conceiving and giving birth to a baby.... Except by a man. Ten years before that in 1984, Bob Saget was already joking about how, "men can breast feed", but at least he admitted he made it up (LINK). Once you understand that a core tenet of Satanism is to reverse the natural order, you'll understand why they want to normalize the completely unnatural idea that, "Men can get pregnant". This is a direct attack on women, men, children, and humanity as a whole. This is an attack on motherhood and gender roles. This is an attack on the family. This is a direct attack on your sanity. And as I've shown here, this has been planned for at least 40 years. The movie Junior from 1994 is a prime example of the Illuminati Revelation of the Method, where they put out their plans right in the open and as long as we laugh and don't consciously object to them, then it means we have subconsciously accepted them. Junior is also a prime example of why the Illuminati would be motivated to replace an actor with an imposter. Here we have a movie that the real Arnold Schwarzenegger absolutely never would have signed on to star in. But since the real Arnold was killed and replaced, he was unable to object to his name and likeness being used in this atrocity of a film. Thus, Arnold Schwarzenegger was used against his will to push an evil agenda of the Illuminati while simultaneously being ritually humiliated by giving birth to a child and essentially being turned into a woman on screen. Notice the screenshots where he has let his hair grow out and he's wearing a pink outfit (dress?) with glasses and pearl necklaces. Does anyone really believe that Arnold Schwarzenegger would have ever stooped this low at the peak of his career? https://preview.redd.it/dchs07c2eq0d1.jpg?width=1425&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ab849bbd8ad73659cbf353d4788914e1527edfe5 https://preview.redd.it/ex6c2k1geq0d1.jpg?width=1050&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=84731bec091800df7b9ab70ddc7d313d808bc70e https://preview.redd.it/opfk3j3ziq0d1.jpg?width=1280&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1b3266508272a8c7ce0e099902b6cc8715346017 MINOR ATTRACTED PERSON / PEDOPHILE FLAG: On June 13th 2018, a user on Tumblr created a flag for the NOMAP (Non Offending Minor Attracted Person) community. (LINK) Around June 12th 2018, an artist named Daniel Quasar updated the LGBTQ to add the colors light blue, light pink, and white to represent the Transgender Pride Flag colors. (LINK) These added stripes to the LGBTQ flag do not represent transgenderism. They represent pedophilia. Light blue represents attraction to young boys. Light pink represents attraction to young girls. The white stripe represents attraction to virginity. Coincidence theorists will have a field day on this one. https://preview.redd.it/3vih368tmq0d1.jpg?width=1019&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e09e7fc60a833a24de638d527b061a4ce7e64570 https://preview.redd.it/zvbv2pkvmq0d1.png?width=399&format=png&auto=webp&s=43f924c9dbe068ad232f45b1b0a861ce01872a36 "WE'RE COMING FOR YOUR CHILDREN": I've really liked this idea of no longer referring to them as "Drag Queens", but instead as "Groomer Clowns", since that's what they really are. Also, these people do not reproduce, which is why they are forced to recruit instead. Drag Queens at a march in New York were recorded as chanting "We're here, we're queer, we're coming for your children". In Florida, a Gay Pride parade was cancelled after it was made illegal to perform adult lewd performances in front of children. If they aren't coming for the children, then why the need to cancel the Gay Pride parade when the Groomer Clowns couldn't perform in front of children? Finally, the third link is about a homosexual couple who raped, filmed, and sex trafficked their two young adopted sons to other pedophiles. https://preview.redd.it/fcn48gosqq0d1.jpg?width=597&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=29e1a9f8d97d52a858e7e3ed8f95db3368f4d72d https://preview.redd.it/vr4rav30rq0d1.jpg?width=700&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e80d4063e16b7ae24c537b238630364b48ab0741 Video of Drag Marchers Chanting 'We're Coming For Your Children' Goes Viral (LINK) ***"***A video showing people chanting "we're coming for your children" has gone viral, sparking outrage on social media. New York City kicked off the last weekend of Pride Month with its annual Drag March on Friday". (LINK) Hundreds of drag performers marched through Manhattan's East Village in elaborate costumes on their way to the iconic Stonewall Inn. Video showing some of the march's participants chanting, "we're here, we're queer, we're coming for your children" Gay pride parade canceled in southeast Florida after anti-drag show law passes (LINK) "Officials in a southeast Florida city have canceled a gay pride parade and restricted other pride events to people 21 years and older in anticipation of Gov. Ron D. signing a bill meant to keep children out of drag shows. The Florida House sent Ron D. a bill Wednesday that bans children from adult performances, a proposal aimed at the governor’s opposition to drag shows. The legislation, which awaits the governor's signature, would allow the state to revoke the food and beverage licenses of businesses that admit children to adult performances. The Ron D. administration has moved to pull the liquor license of a Miami hotel that hosted a Christmas drag show, alleging children were present during "lewd" displays." Gay couple charged with molesting their adopted sons also pimped them out to pedophile ring, report claims (LINK) "A gay couple from Georgia charged with molesting their two adopted sons and using them to record child porn also allegedly pimped them out to members of a local pedophile ring, according to a disturbing new report. A months-long investigation by Townhall revealed that William Dale Zulock, 33, and Zachary Jacoby Zulock, 35, allegedly used social media to prostitute their two elementary-aged sons. William Zulock, a government worker, and Zachary Zulock, a banker, were indicted in August 2022 on charges of incest, aggravated sodomy, aggravated child molestation, felony sexual exploitation of children and felony prostitution of a minor. But the shocking investigation reveals in more detail the sickening abuse the boys suffered. For the first time, it was revealed that the men allegedly pimped out their older sons, now 11 and 9 years old, to two other men in a pedophile ring. One of the men, Hunter Clay Lawless, 27, told investigators that Zachary — whose Instagram bio describes him as “Papa to our two wonderful boys” and an “activist” — invited him “multiple times” to take part in sexually abusing the boys, Townhall reported." HOMOSEXUALITY AND PEDOPHILIA: Homosexuality and Child Sexual Abuse (LINK) ***"***Homosexuals are overrepresented in child sex offenses: Individuals from the 1 to 3 percent of the population that is sexually attracted to the same sex are committing up to one-third of the sex crimes against children. Homosexual Pedophiles are Vastly Overrepresented in Child Sex Abuse Cases Homosexual pedophiles sexually molest children at a far greater rate compared to the percentage of homosexuals in the general population. A study in the Journal of Sex Research found, as we have noted above, that “approximately one-third of [child sex offenders] had victimized boys and two-thirds had victimized girls.” The authors then make a prescient observation: “Interestingly, this ratio differs substantially from the ratio of gynephiles (men who erotically prefer physically mature females) to androphiles (men who erotically prefer physically mature males), which is at least 20 to 1.”[17] In other words, although heterosexuals outnumber homosexuals by a ratio of at least 20 to 1, homosexual pedophiles commit about one-third of the total number of child sex offenses. Similarly, the Archives of Sexual Behavior also noted that homosexual pedophiles are significantly overrepresented in child sex offence cases: The best epidemiological evidence indicates that only 2 to 4 percent of men attracted to adults prefer men (ACSF Investigators, 1992; Billy et al.,1993; Fay et al.,1989; Johnson et al.,1992); in contrast, around 25 to 40 percent of men attracted to children prefer boys (Blanchard et al.,1999; Gebhard et al.,1965; Mohr et al.,1964). Thus, the rate of homosexual attraction is 6 to 20 times higher among pedophiles.” PEDOPHILIA AND PARASITES: Parasite Pill 2.0 https://archive.org/details/parasite-pill-2.0 For those who really want to do some serious research, there's an 181 page document titled Parasite Pill (version) 2.0 which goes in depth about a theory that pedophilia may be linked to a mind controlled parasite such as toxoplasmosis. And that the parasite basically has a better chance of survival when infected into a younger victim with a still developing immune system. Plus the parasite breeds within the intestines. So it's theorized that this is why sodomy with children may be preferred by the parasite for reproduction. Also it's speculated that essentially the parasitic elites are LITERALLY PARASITES, as they are being mind controlled by brain parasites and this is why they all engage in sodomy with one another. The initiation ritual of being sodomized by all the upper ranking Illuminati members may also serve the purpose of ensuring that the cult's respective parasites are all passed on effectively to new recruits. Oh yeah, and the real reason they don't want anyone taking Ivermectin is because it destroys the parasites which are our secret masters. https://preview.redd.it/3g7a1jrbwq0d1.png?width=653&format=png&auto=webp&s=ce403537c123741bbd259b0a4be215695e7966cb CISGENDER? SIS, YOU'RE SIC(K) AND A SISSY: Elon Musk’s X now treats the term ‘cisgender’ as a slur on the platform (LINK) On June 20 2023, Elon Musk tweeted out that the term "cisgender" would now be treated as a slur on Twitter / X. On May 15th 2024, this promise was made into a reality. Attempting to post with the word "cis" or "cisgender" results in the user being given a warning and the option to delete the tweet. This event today was what got me to finally sit down and pump out this post which has been sitting in my brain simmering for years. This also made me think about the real meaning of the term "Cis" which basically means "Normal" or "Same Gender As Assigned At Birth". "Cis" is pronounced the same as "Sis" (Sister), and can be expanded to "Cissy" / "Sissy" (Wimp). Also, "Cis" backwards is "Sic" or "Sick". So basically when you're called "Cis" gender, you're being called a woman, a wimp, and sick, all because you chose to remain a heterosexual during this assault on what it means to be a human. "Cis" is a CIA Tavistock style social engineering term which is meant to discourage you from being straight, and it's trying to bully you into the LGBTQ lifestyle (or is that "death style" since they don't reproduce?). "Cis" is an abnormal and weaponized term which was created to make what's natural seem unnatural, and to make what's normal sound abnormal. I would argue terms "gender normative" and "breeders" are also similar weaponized social engineering terms meant to covertly psychologically wage warfare against heterosexuality. GET THEM WHILE THEY'RE YOUNG: A recent study of 139 dysphoric male children who were monitored from age 7 up until age 20 showed that 87.8 percent of the boys grew out of this phase and reverted back to identifying as their birth gender by the time they were adults. And in other related news, a couple in Montana have claimed that the Montana CFS (Child and Family Services) have taken custody of their 14 year old daughter for refusing her gender affirming care. So now does it make sense why The Illuminati has to "get them while they're young"? Does it make sense why The Illuminati is pumping out so much gender confusion and LGBTQ propaganda into the brains of young and impressionable minds? It's because they are DELIBERATELY confusing children about their gender, and while they're still young and impressionable, they seek to prey on their confusion by pushing them to "change their gender" AKA mutilate their genitals, which is an irreversible procedure. Also, the powers that be are setting the precedent that parents who are not being "inclusive" and "open minded" by letting their children mutilate their genitals, that the state can then physically repossess your child from you, by saying it's CHILD ABUSE that you won't let them MUTILATE THEIR GENITALS. The Luciferians seek to reverse all that is natural, and they want us all to be like their demon god Baphomet. They are coming for your kids, and you'd better push back. Vast Majority of Gender Dysphoric Boys Desist, Long-Term Study Finds (LINK) *"*A long-term follow-up of male children with gender dysphoria has found that most study participants desisted over time and accepted themselves as boys. The groundbreaking study used the largest sample to date of boys referred to clinics for gender dysphoria. “A Follow-Up Study of Boys With Gender Identity Disorder” was published in the peer-viewed journal Frontiers in Psychology, and the research protocol was reviewed and approved by Clarke Institute of Psychiatry (now the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health) and the University of Toronto. Study participants were 139 male children assessed in the Gender Identity Service, Child, Youth, and Family Program at the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health (CAMH) in Toronto between 1975 and 2009. 63.3% of the boys met DSM-III, III-R, or IV criteria for gender identity disorder (GID), while the rest of the 36.7% were subthreshold for a DSM diagnosis. Researchers first assessed the children at approximately age 7, following up with participants when they reached adolescence and again in early adulthood. At follow-up, researchers classified participants as persisters (which the study defines as “boys who continued to have gender dysphoria”) or desisters (boys who did not continue to have gender dysphoria), and deduced their sexual orientation based on fantasy and behavior. Researchers found that 17 (12.2%) of the participants persisted in their gender dysphoria, and the remaining 122 (87.8%) desisted." Montana parents say they lost custody of daughter after opposing 14-year-old’s gender transition: report (LINK) "Montana family claims they lost custody of their 14-year-old child after opposing her interest in changing genders — and while the governor’s office defended the move, it stressed to The Post that the state does not remove minors to provide gender transition services. The state’s Child and Family Services (CFS) reportedly took custody of the teen from her father, Todd Kolstad, and stepmother, Krista, this month, leading the parents to speak out about how the action has “destroyed” their family and “trampled” their rights. They showed up at our home to serve us with papers to take Jennifer out of our care,” Kolstad alleged. “They told me the reason was that we were ‘unable or refusing to provide medical care.’ That’s just not true.” Jennifer returned in September to a Montana youth facility, where she remains. Earlier this month, a court put the teen in the custody of CFS, Reduxx reported. “We were told that letting Jennifer transition and live as a boy was in her ‘therapeutic best interest’ and because we aren’t willing to follow that recommendation, the court gave CFS custody of Jennifer for six months,” Kolstad told the outlet." AUTISM, TRANSGENDERISM AND TRANSHUMANISM: Transgender and nonbinary people are up to six times more likely to have autism (LINK) This article title really says it all. There's a clear link between autism and transgenderism. So now does it make sense why autism is deliberately created via aluminum in the vaccines and in deodorant, chemtrails, etc? Autism also makes a person more compatible with Artificial Intelligence according to a book called The Autism Epidemic: Transhumanism's Dirty Little Secret (LINK). Supposedly the type of brainwaves produced by an autistic brain are more similar to how Artificial Intelligence processes data than a normal brain. Basically the endgoal of the entire Illuminati LGBTQ and transgender agenda is transhumanism, which is the merging of humans with technology. Part of that agenda ties into transgenderism since if they can get you to mutilate your genitals and get you to change your whole gender identity, then getting you to put a neural chip implant in your head isn't much further to go. The endgoal of the New World Order is to turn you into a gay genderless cyborg who is completely mind controlled by brain microchips. This is why when you choose to support the woke agendas and official narratives, that you're literally choosing The Matrix, because merging us with machines, mind controlling us and creating a completely false reality in our heads is exactly where the woke rabbit hole leads. CONCLUSION: "We're here, we're queer, get used to it". We did get used to it. And then we let you legalize Gay Marriage, but still you wouldn't stop pushing us. So how far does the Satanic LGBTQ agenda have to push us before they will leave us alone? Well, they aren't planning on leaving us alone. LGBTQ is a major component of the New World Order. The end goal of LGBTQ is to openly normalize pedophilia, incest, bestiality, and all other sexual perversions since this is what "The Aristocrats" (The Illuminati families) actually take part in themselves. And they bully us into compliance by using terms like "Inclusive" and "Tolerance", which are weaponized social engineering terms that are used to beat us into submission of their depraved agendas. You're no longer straight or heterosexual, you're now "Cis" (Sis/Sick/Sissy), "Gender Normative" and a "Breeder". The Illuminati has made it a thoughtcrime for any person to remain straight and normal in this times of great deceit. Is it any wonder then that nearly 30 percent of all Generation Z adults now identify as LGBTQ? (LINK) This post is the culmination of my years of research on multiple topics which all tie into pedophilia, LGBTQ, transgenderism, autism, transhumanism, and the New World Order. I hereby pass onto you all the knowledge I currently possess about this agenda, and I hope that you will consider it from a logical perspective and utilize it appropriately. By the way, I do not have a problem with gay or transgender people whatsoever so long as they would just please leave the children alone. They're just children and they're young and easily impressionable by LGBTQ gender confusion propaganda. Let them be kids, and if they still want gender affirming care when they're 18, then they are legally adults and are able to make that decision themselves. Stop encouraging children to make irreversible permanent alterations to their body just to serve an agenda of "inclusiveness" and "tolerance". Also, this goes without saying, and it goes to all people not just LGBTQ: stop sexually abusing children. This is the most unnatural sexual depravity you can possibly take part in. You're destroying innocence and you're destroying lives. And you're just continuing the cycle of abuse, since it does appear that many pedophiles were also sexually abused when they were children (Jeffrey Epstein got really uncomfortable and refused to answer when he was asked about his own sexual abuse as a child). Finally, I will again reiterate that there's no problem with being gay, lesbian, bisexual, non binary, transgender, etc. However, the specific group called LGBTQ is an extremist organization of The Illuminati which is pushing Satanic agendas as part of the New World Order. I recommend that no matter how you identify yourself, that you are able to identify a predatory social engineering mind control agenda for what it is. |
2024.05.19 09:15 lifegoesbysoon True or conspiracy theory?
 | submitted by lifegoesbysoon to indiadiscussion [link] [comments] |
2024.05.19 09:11 throa2272 Weirdest 3 week "relationship" ever. Felt vaguely abusive. Idk
He told me he loved me on day 2 (Around April 13) after meeting. Actually he told me on day 1 that he would always love me and told me on day 2 that he DOES love me. During the first two weeks, he told me about his drug addicted ex that abused him and cheated on him. He then told me at brunch after church "I know there's hurt in there. And I'm ready to hear all about it when you're ready to tell me." And I trusted him so I did just that. I told him about how I've never ever felt secure and about how my mom used silence to punish me. Random but he also, out of nowhere, said he wants us to never use the word "lie" to accuse the other person of lying. That was while we were on good terms. But eventually we werent. Suddenly, whenever I voiced that I didn't like something he did, he would say "im not that guy from your past" even though guys in my past weren't relevant to the conversation. When we'd disagree, he would hurl small, indirect insults and accusations at me. When I'd explain myself and my perspective, he'd say "why is it always an explanation with you?" And during disagreements when I'd point out the things he said, he asked "why are you taking my words literally?" His excuse was that he isn't good at expressing himself through text but he boasted about being a writing tutor in the past. Plus he used to be in law school. (I currently am too). When I'd tell him "it feels like you don't like or love me anymore" he'd blow it off and barely respond. But at the beginning I didn't express feelings like that and he revealed to me out of nowhere "I can tell when you feel like I hate you." Like he read me easily and reassured me before but towards the end even when I shared my feelings in plain English, he still would never validate them.
He goes to therapy and one time i consulted my friend about an issue between us. He said he didn't want anyone in our business. The next thing he said? "How would you like it if I told Linda (his therapist) about our problems?" I told him I'd actually love that and asked him to "please please please talk to her about it."
I felt dumb. I revealed to him that I had never felt as much security as he made me feel before in my entire life. I called him my home. He kept telling me he would never leave me and that he loved me. I didnt even ask for that reassurance. Why would I? But it felt like home. On 5/10 we were supposed to meet but he ghosted. I blocked him when I realized he ghosted me. Suddenly, I didnt feel that sad anymore. I just felt stupid. But I was glad it was done. Weirdest three weeks of my effing life.
I haven't contacted him since. I blocked him on both my real phone and my texting app. But he called May 13. Called 3 times on May 14. Called twice on May 16. Called once May 17. Called once on May 18. All ignored. He sent some weird texts May 13 and 14. On 13th he acted sympathetic and tried to express his feelings. On May 14 he asked me why we never had sex and if I was truly waiting until marriage. He said that I kept trying to sleep with him and that he'd "push me off" and say we should wait. That actually never ever happened. I think he just wanted a reaction out of me. I haven't responded to anything. I feel strong. I know it's dumb to keep track or care that he's calling and texting. Please be nice. I'm trying to get over it.
Thanks for reading and/or responding.
submitted by throa2272 to abusiverelationships [link] [comments]
He goes to therapy and one time i consulted my friend about an issue between us. He said he didn't want anyone in our business. The next thing he said? "How would you like it if I told Linda (his therapist) about our problems?" I told him I'd actually love that and asked him to "please please please talk to her about it."
I felt dumb. I revealed to him that I had never felt as much security as he made me feel before in my entire life. I called him my home. He kept telling me he would never leave me and that he loved me. I didnt even ask for that reassurance. Why would I? But it felt like home. On 5/10 we were supposed to meet but he ghosted. I blocked him when I realized he ghosted me. Suddenly, I didnt feel that sad anymore. I just felt stupid. But I was glad it was done. Weirdest three weeks of my effing life.
I haven't contacted him since. I blocked him on both my real phone and my texting app. But he called May 13. Called 3 times on May 14. Called twice on May 16. Called once May 17. Called once on May 18. All ignored. He sent some weird texts May 13 and 14. On 13th he acted sympathetic and tried to express his feelings. On May 14 he asked me why we never had sex and if I was truly waiting until marriage. He said that I kept trying to sleep with him and that he'd "push me off" and say we should wait. That actually never ever happened. I think he just wanted a reaction out of me. I haven't responded to anything. I feel strong. I know it's dumb to keep track or care that he's calling and texting. Please be nice. I'm trying to get over it.
Thanks for reading and/or responding.
2024.05.19 09:06 ThrowRA_calvalhalla My gf (28f) wants kids in the future. I 31m) don't - because I already have two. Should we break up?
Tldr: do I break up now, later, or wing it and see what happens in the future?
I'm divorced, with two kids from my marriage. Me and my ex-wife (Kira, not real name) have a really good relationship post separation,, and we split the kids 50/50 in terms of childcare, where they sleep, etc. We both live in the same city still, and the kids are primary school age, so logistically it's feasible to share them between our houses.
Both me and Kira have found new partners: she has found a really nice guy and he is great with the kids. I can see how happy Kira is with him, and the kids love him. I also found someone (Riley, not real name) who is great, I love very much and everything in our new relationship is really great.
I suffer from depression, which I have therapy for, and Riley has been great with dealing with my mood swings, and I feel more comfortable with her, and able to be myself more. I think I'm also being a better father with Riley around, cause I feel less alone and less shouty with the kids. Riley gets on with the kids; she's fairly introverted and extremely anxious, but a lot calmer than me and the kids do like her, when we go out for food, or go round to Riley's house on weekends when I have the kids.
When we got together, I said that I didn't want more kids. This is because I really struggle with the identity of being a dad. I was fairly naive by getting married and having kids at 26, because it wasn't what I really wanted at the time. 100% my fault of not being myself then. I was doing lots of things I didn't like with Kira. Now, at 31, I'm having a bit of a mid life crisis, in that I'm not sure I like my job that much, and I miss the fact that I never had a crazy time in my 20s where I travelled alone, or met lots of people, making new friends. Me and Kira met on the first day of University at age 18 and were together ever since. I didn't make any friends and I'm paying for it now. When we moved to a new city for my current job, I made lots of new friends but because of all my domestic things, I felt that I couldn't commit to going out with them, or making social plans. I'd feel worried that I wasn't being a good dad, so I'd stay at home and look after the kids. I let Kira do whatever she wanted with her friends and she really appreciated it. She always tried to get me to do things for myself but I sort of self sabotaged myself.
Anyway, now through therapy and self reflection, I feel like I know myself better. I'm happy with both my kids, and I don't want any more. I think I could be convinced but I really wouldn't be doing it for myself. I'd fall into a cycle of not prioritising what I want, which would make me frustrated and a grump, which ultimately led to mine and Kira's divorce.
Me and Riley have been dating for almost a year now. There have been multiple discussions where we both get sad because Riley wants kids, and I'm a definitive no. When we started going out, I was saying "I'm 99% no on kids". My logic being, I don't know what's gonna happen in the future and how I'll feel. We change over time and maybe some part of me wants kids again when I see mine grow up.
Well, cut to this past weekend. The baby question came up again, and I stood firm. She came down to either staying with me with no babies in the future, or leaving. I told her that I loved her and didn't want to make firm decisions, and we should leave it open. We're here now, and who knows what's gonna happen - maybe someone will get sick, life changes, financial stuff etc., and a baby might no longer be on the cards. My stance is, why end our relationship which is great in every way, because of something that might happen in 5 years? Riley wants security and wants to know what's happening, but we both stood back from the edge and things are ok now. I'm writing this because I couldn't sleep was worried that I'm lying to her.
I think if I tell her now I'm 100% no about babies, then we will break up. And all night I was thinking, nope, definitely don't want babies. I don't want to break up, I love her and she's really perfect and matched to my personality. I think I am a good bf, and look after her and she has said that she's very happy with me too.
Options. Man up, break up now and deal with heartbreak. How do I explain to my kids that we won't see Riley anymore? My older one keeps asking when she's gonna have a new Stepmom cause she loves Riley.
Or do I ignore all this anxiety, just keep going and just wait for any discussion to come up again and see what happens naturally? Worst case scenario right, is in 5 years, Riley wants a baby, I say no, and we break up - way harder because maybe we'd be married or living together, with more things tied together. Kids would be heartbroken.
My hope is that Riley will change her mind in 5 years. I know, this is stupid and naive.
I appreciate your time reading this. And if you want more info let me know.
Thank you
submitted by ThrowRA_calvalhalla to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
I'm divorced, with two kids from my marriage. Me and my ex-wife (Kira, not real name) have a really good relationship post separation,, and we split the kids 50/50 in terms of childcare, where they sleep, etc. We both live in the same city still, and the kids are primary school age, so logistically it's feasible to share them between our houses.
Both me and Kira have found new partners: she has found a really nice guy and he is great with the kids. I can see how happy Kira is with him, and the kids love him. I also found someone (Riley, not real name) who is great, I love very much and everything in our new relationship is really great.
I suffer from depression, which I have therapy for, and Riley has been great with dealing with my mood swings, and I feel more comfortable with her, and able to be myself more. I think I'm also being a better father with Riley around, cause I feel less alone and less shouty with the kids. Riley gets on with the kids; she's fairly introverted and extremely anxious, but a lot calmer than me and the kids do like her, when we go out for food, or go round to Riley's house on weekends when I have the kids.
When we got together, I said that I didn't want more kids. This is because I really struggle with the identity of being a dad. I was fairly naive by getting married and having kids at 26, because it wasn't what I really wanted at the time. 100% my fault of not being myself then. I was doing lots of things I didn't like with Kira. Now, at 31, I'm having a bit of a mid life crisis, in that I'm not sure I like my job that much, and I miss the fact that I never had a crazy time in my 20s where I travelled alone, or met lots of people, making new friends. Me and Kira met on the first day of University at age 18 and were together ever since. I didn't make any friends and I'm paying for it now. When we moved to a new city for my current job, I made lots of new friends but because of all my domestic things, I felt that I couldn't commit to going out with them, or making social plans. I'd feel worried that I wasn't being a good dad, so I'd stay at home and look after the kids. I let Kira do whatever she wanted with her friends and she really appreciated it. She always tried to get me to do things for myself but I sort of self sabotaged myself.
Anyway, now through therapy and self reflection, I feel like I know myself better. I'm happy with both my kids, and I don't want any more. I think I could be convinced but I really wouldn't be doing it for myself. I'd fall into a cycle of not prioritising what I want, which would make me frustrated and a grump, which ultimately led to mine and Kira's divorce.
Me and Riley have been dating for almost a year now. There have been multiple discussions where we both get sad because Riley wants kids, and I'm a definitive no. When we started going out, I was saying "I'm 99% no on kids". My logic being, I don't know what's gonna happen in the future and how I'll feel. We change over time and maybe some part of me wants kids again when I see mine grow up.
Well, cut to this past weekend. The baby question came up again, and I stood firm. She came down to either staying with me with no babies in the future, or leaving. I told her that I loved her and didn't want to make firm decisions, and we should leave it open. We're here now, and who knows what's gonna happen - maybe someone will get sick, life changes, financial stuff etc., and a baby might no longer be on the cards. My stance is, why end our relationship which is great in every way, because of something that might happen in 5 years? Riley wants security and wants to know what's happening, but we both stood back from the edge and things are ok now. I'm writing this because I couldn't sleep was worried that I'm lying to her.
I think if I tell her now I'm 100% no about babies, then we will break up. And all night I was thinking, nope, definitely don't want babies. I don't want to break up, I love her and she's really perfect and matched to my personality. I think I am a good bf, and look after her and she has said that she's very happy with me too.
Options. Man up, break up now and deal with heartbreak. How do I explain to my kids that we won't see Riley anymore? My older one keeps asking when she's gonna have a new Stepmom cause she loves Riley.
Or do I ignore all this anxiety, just keep going and just wait for any discussion to come up again and see what happens naturally? Worst case scenario right, is in 5 years, Riley wants a baby, I say no, and we break up - way harder because maybe we'd be married or living together, with more things tied together. Kids would be heartbroken.
My hope is that Riley will change her mind in 5 years. I know, this is stupid and naive.
I appreciate your time reading this. And if you want more info let me know.
Thank you
2024.05.19 09:05 peach__perfect Need advice
Need advice.
I am 25F, introvert, recently married to 27M, extrovert. It was arranged marriage. We both are working & have very busy schedules. He works 7 AM - 8 PM (considering traveling time), 6 days a week while I work 11 AM -10 PM, 5 days a week. I do the cooking at home and my job involves troubleshooting & lot of talking. I need some time alone to wind down post work & he wants to cuddle and talk since that's the only time we get together. I tried doing what he wants but I am not at all a cuddly person by nature so it just made me uncomfortable & messed my sleep routine.
I suggested we go for a walk & play a little sport after I am done with my work, he loved the idea so we have been doing that but he wants to talk & cuddle post that i.e. while we sleep as well, and honesty, I don't have the will / energy to do that. I need some quiet time for myself. So, frankly, we both are getting annoyed. He's trying his best to give me space but it's not working out the way we want. I am not getting my "me" time & he's not feeling fulfilled because of silence/because he's a cuddler.
Being an introvert, I prefer meaningful conversations instead of chit-chating for the sake of it. My ideal weekend is waking up late, cooking/eating good food, binging a good series, his is waking up early & going out. I need quiet time after I wake up, he's full of energy after waking up. My love language is acts of service, his is touch / quality time. This is causing conflicts.
While I know the first question I'll get here is why did we marry in first place if we are so different, but it was an typical arranged marriage, there wasn't much time to get to know each other. There's no point in dwelling on why's imo. I want advice on how to work this out. Am I wrong for asking /needing space?
submitted by peach__perfect to Marriage [link] [comments]
I am 25F, introvert, recently married to 27M, extrovert. It was arranged marriage. We both are working & have very busy schedules. He works 7 AM - 8 PM (considering traveling time), 6 days a week while I work 11 AM -10 PM, 5 days a week. I do the cooking at home and my job involves troubleshooting & lot of talking. I need some time alone to wind down post work & he wants to cuddle and talk since that's the only time we get together. I tried doing what he wants but I am not at all a cuddly person by nature so it just made me uncomfortable & messed my sleep routine.
I suggested we go for a walk & play a little sport after I am done with my work, he loved the idea so we have been doing that but he wants to talk & cuddle post that i.e. while we sleep as well, and honesty, I don't have the will / energy to do that. I need some quiet time for myself. So, frankly, we both are getting annoyed. He's trying his best to give me space but it's not working out the way we want. I am not getting my "me" time & he's not feeling fulfilled because of silence/because he's a cuddler.
Being an introvert, I prefer meaningful conversations instead of chit-chating for the sake of it. My ideal weekend is waking up late, cooking/eating good food, binging a good series, his is waking up early & going out. I need quiet time after I wake up, he's full of energy after waking up. My love language is acts of service, his is touch / quality time. This is causing conflicts.
While I know the first question I'll get here is why did we marry in first place if we are so different, but it was an typical arranged marriage, there wasn't much time to get to know each other. There's no point in dwelling on why's imo. I want advice on how to work this out. Am I wrong for asking /needing space?
2024.05.19 08:58 Greedy-University479 How to get my AD stfu about his life 40 years ago?
WARNING: Long post. This is my first ever rant in this sub, and I barely have any experience on making posts on Reddit. Not to mention I am still struggling with English essays. So, I apologize before hand for any confusion and errors I made. 🙇
Context: I am a female native Vietnamese, living in a family of four in the North of the country. I just became an official adult few months ago, and is training for college entrance exam.
Ever since I attended 10th grade, my relationship with family has shifted drastically, my bond with my AM is stronger than it used to while in contrast, I have become more resentful to AP. And my resentment is more relevant as I turned 18.
Before talking about our current situation, I want to tell you about my life.
When talking about who I prefer, it is always be AM. Not until now was she emotionally intelligent, well, a bit better than she used to. She tended to forbidding me doing lots of things because of overprotection. Maybe that is why I am often hesitant to try something new. I remember our past fights when she only knew about screaming, threatening, throwing and breaking my stuff like a toddler and I had to bare with it because you know, I was 10-13 in a fucking Asian society. After she quit her dead-end job, she opened her own business, goes outside and studies more, she becomes more enjoyable to be around with. But after all the bs, I have always have choosen her for love and security. And this is the first time I realized that.
Moving on to AD. Between kindergarten to 5th grade, AD and I were quite close. At least, that what I thought because I was slow and naive, really naive. Despite being "quite close", I still remember the times he yelled and hit me for slight inconvenience. I still have the memory of the scar left by his belt for not doing what he wants. Also, in 10th grade, during COVID, children had to study online. I was the only one who knew how to and had to open the Zoom for my sister. One time, our classes started at the same time, I was on the rush and forgot about the Zoom of my sister. AD did not know how to open Zoom, he was pissed. As a result, he threw my stuff at the wall and forced me to clean up his mess.
Growing up in this household, I just recently notices how much of a kid he is. He is stubborn, conservative and always full of himself. AD is not the type who listens to others but loves everyone following him, always claiming he is right no matter what. He has no dream, no desire to be better. His pride is higher than his care for the kids. And like many deadbeat father and husband out there, he is a good for nothing. AD will be a grumpy and sour when anything slightly inconvenients him. Even when that "anything" is extremely vital for the well-being of his daughters. AD does not contribute anything in the house, not even his marriage nor the kids' education, only bosses around and sees red when one thing doesn't go out his way. Not to mention, he demands respect and worship for having a job offered by his rich brother and feeding the family aka doing the bare minimum.
Back to the present, after my 17th birthday, AD becomes dismissive and degrading than before. Everytime I talk about my issues WITH MY MOM, he will interrupt and dismiss them. Moreover, he starts to talk more about how hard his past is. Nothing much, just the typical "back in my days..." of immature oldies. AD is a gen X born two years after the end of Vietnam War, I totally get that he had been through shit. But the way he talks, he sounds like he takes pride from it, glorifies his struggles with a smug attitude. AD does not say it directly how proud he is about it, but by listening the way he scoffs at young city dwellers' issues, I sense not only arrogance but also bitterness.
Now, seeing his face is enough to drain my energy, let alone hearing his bs. I am surprised, everyone else is surprised that AM has not divorced him, especially after being as equally educated as lots of divorced women out there.
That is all for now, I may edit this post for more context in the future. If there is any questions you would like to ask, I will answer in the edits or in the replies. Thank you for spending time reading my rant.
submitted by Greedy-University479 to AsianParentStories [link] [comments]
Context: I am a female native Vietnamese, living in a family of four in the North of the country. I just became an official adult few months ago, and is training for college entrance exam.
Ever since I attended 10th grade, my relationship with family has shifted drastically, my bond with my AM is stronger than it used to while in contrast, I have become more resentful to AP. And my resentment is more relevant as I turned 18.
Before talking about our current situation, I want to tell you about my life.
When talking about who I prefer, it is always be AM. Not until now was she emotionally intelligent, well, a bit better than she used to. She tended to forbidding me doing lots of things because of overprotection. Maybe that is why I am often hesitant to try something new. I remember our past fights when she only knew about screaming, threatening, throwing and breaking my stuff like a toddler and I had to bare with it because you know, I was 10-13 in a fucking Asian society. After she quit her dead-end job, she opened her own business, goes outside and studies more, she becomes more enjoyable to be around with. But after all the bs, I have always have choosen her for love and security. And this is the first time I realized that.
Moving on to AD. Between kindergarten to 5th grade, AD and I were quite close. At least, that what I thought because I was slow and naive, really naive. Despite being "quite close", I still remember the times he yelled and hit me for slight inconvenience. I still have the memory of the scar left by his belt for not doing what he wants. Also, in 10th grade, during COVID, children had to study online. I was the only one who knew how to and had to open the Zoom for my sister. One time, our classes started at the same time, I was on the rush and forgot about the Zoom of my sister. AD did not know how to open Zoom, he was pissed. As a result, he threw my stuff at the wall and forced me to clean up his mess.
Growing up in this household, I just recently notices how much of a kid he is. He is stubborn, conservative and always full of himself. AD is not the type who listens to others but loves everyone following him, always claiming he is right no matter what. He has no dream, no desire to be better. His pride is higher than his care for the kids. And like many deadbeat father and husband out there, he is a good for nothing. AD will be a grumpy and sour when anything slightly inconvenients him. Even when that "anything" is extremely vital for the well-being of his daughters. AD does not contribute anything in the house, not even his marriage nor the kids' education, only bosses around and sees red when one thing doesn't go out his way. Not to mention, he demands respect and worship for having a job offered by his rich brother and feeding the family aka doing the bare minimum.
Back to the present, after my 17th birthday, AD becomes dismissive and degrading than before. Everytime I talk about my issues WITH MY MOM, he will interrupt and dismiss them. Moreover, he starts to talk more about how hard his past is. Nothing much, just the typical "back in my days..." of immature oldies. AD is a gen X born two years after the end of Vietnam War, I totally get that he had been through shit. But the way he talks, he sounds like he takes pride from it, glorifies his struggles with a smug attitude. AD does not say it directly how proud he is about it, but by listening the way he scoffs at young city dwellers' issues, I sense not only arrogance but also bitterness.
Now, seeing his face is enough to drain my energy, let alone hearing his bs. I am surprised, everyone else is surprised that AM has not divorced him, especially after being as equally educated as lots of divorced women out there.
That is all for now, I may edit this post for more context in the future. If there is any questions you would like to ask, I will answer in the edits or in the replies. Thank you for spending time reading my rant.
2024.05.19 08:57 MistaGalaxy I'm sorry but I just had to defend Kaizen the ML from (How to hide emperor's child)
DISCLAIMER : LONG RAMBLING (ngl, very tempted on that non judgement flair, im a coward)
I gonna said it guys, Kaizen is way too overhated and the hate towards him is unwarranted
also, this is strictly novel only, because tbh I don't like how the manhwa portrays Kaizen. and spoilers.
now truthfully does Astelle (FML) deserve a better ML (not Seibel, just a random village guy) or just stay single? yes lol
I come to this conclusion not because of Kaizen but rather I felt that Astelle would prefers the countryside life more than being an empress.
And now onto Kaizen. From the hate comments i had seen towards him, I conclude that people are just traumatized from Sovieshu's shenanigans and how the this story and the Remaried Empress have similar premise which I can see why people would lumped them all together.
And this story opening up with Kaizen divorcing Astelle after literally the day their wedding night \ahaha* do not help at all.
Ya okay, this part on why the fuck Kaizen choose the worst time to divorce Astelle is really something that I can't defend (the author prob just use it to ramp up the drama i guess lol)
But, i do can defend on why the divorce had to happened. For those uninformed, its a plot device that it is an obligation emperor and empress must consummate their marriage even though the couple can choose to use protection (??) and the plot twist comes in that dundundun Kaizen's dad is dead literally the next day thus Kaizen's emperor reigns began.
From the flashbacks, we can see that Kaizen from the young age have always being wary of any potential threats to the throne and ironically the girl (Astelle) he was betrothed to was the daughter of said threat. So the boi had been planning to get rid those threats once he got that emperor power which also includes Astelle unfortunately.
Now, that does means Kaizen despises Astelle? No. At worst, he just wary of her knowing full well she is just a puppet to her father. If he does despise her, he could just kill her on the spot the moment he becomes the emperor.
Kaizen in a way does see Astelle as someone who is in the same predicament and Astelle who never confessed her feelings make him assumed that her feelings toward him is the same as him.
Which lead to him doing to what I can say to worse thing he done to Astelle. A very angsty teenage boi ignoring and avoiding his fiancee for their entire childhood. So surprise 2X, he doesn't know much about Astelle despite basically growing up together. And of course, he gonna assume that Astelle like stereo typically any upper class lady stuff.
Now onward to post-divorce. He did tried to give compensation to Astelle after learning that she had been kick out by her OG family and of course Astelle heartbroken, understandably rejected it which make him assume that Astelle found a decent life elsewhere.
ok now i gonna list down things i appreciated about Kaizen after did i mentioned that i binged read this novel 3 times?
Now this arc got me emotional the most so i gonna ramble about it.
Onward to the post-"Theo is revealed to br Kaizen's son" arc, Astelle agreed to be the empress again due to some politics stuff that I didn't remember on the condition that Kaizen must agreed to divorce her after 3-5 years later with no strings attached. (like she's had enough lmao) then the maternal grandpa accidentally reveal Astelle's former crush to Kaizen that just give even more emotional dmg to Kaizen which just lead to him to say fuck this and allowed Astelle to leave anytime she wants (and gift her a castle and even the entire East region) with the promised that he would not remarried and Theo will succeed him as the emperor. then he got poisoned. DUNDUNDUN
Now, Astelle could have just took this fine opportunity to leave but of course she didn't and Kaizen while in and out of consciousness, said "i gonna die, huh? welp rn i wanna write my last will to give all of my authority to Astelle". Bro already accepted his fate ヽ(*。>Д<)o゜. and when Astelle said to please recover quickly for Theo and for her, Kaizen literally said, "Wait, you actually want to save me?" gahhhhhhhhh angsttt gyahhhhhhh
OK FINE, i be honest, i'm just here to let out my fangirl moments (no friends moment frfr) I do not expect this incoherent ramblings of a mess would change anyone's mind lol.
on my first read of the novel (back to the ex is my guilty troupe kek) , I literally do not care about Kaizen, thinking he just a whatever ML but after looking at the comments that just 90% shitting on him even multiple times comparing to the likes of GRADE A-HOLE, Sovieshu made me thinking, he's not that bad tho, convinced to re-read again the novel and again for good measure hehe. And the guy (as evidence from the mess of an essay) warmed up to me.
As you can see, i really do like this novel. (just shows what my standards are ehe)
submitted by MistaGalaxy to OtomeIsekai [link] [comments]
I gonna said it guys, Kaizen is way too overhated a
also, this is strictly novel only, because tbh I don't like how the manhwa portrays Kaizen. and spoilers.
now truthfully does Astelle (FML) deserve a better ML (not Seibel, just a random village guy) or just stay single? yes lol
I come to this conclusion not because of Kaizen but rather I felt that Astelle would prefers the countryside life more than being an empress.
And now onto Kaizen. From the hate comments i had seen towards him, I conclude that people are just traumatized from Sovieshu's shenanigans and how the this story and the Remaried Empress have similar premise which I can see why people would lumped them all together.
And this story opening up with Kaizen divorcing Astelle after literally the day their wedding night \ahaha* do not help at all.
Ya okay, this part on why the fuck Kaizen choose the worst time to divorce Astelle is really something that I can't defend (the author prob just use it to ramp up the drama i guess lol)
But, i do can defend on why the divorce had to happened. For those uninformed, its a plot device that it is an obligation emperor and empress must consummate their marriage even though the couple can choose to use protection (??) and the plot twist comes in that dundundun Kaizen's dad is dead literally the next day thus Kaizen's emperor reigns began.
From the flashbacks, we can see that Kaizen from the young age have always being wary of any potential threats to the throne and ironically the girl (Astelle) he was betrothed to was the daughter of said threat. So the boi had been planning to get rid those threats once he got that emperor power which also includes Astelle unfortunately.
Now, that does means Kaizen despises Astelle? No. At worst, he just wary of her knowing full well she is just a puppet to her father. If he does despise her, he could just kill her on the spot the moment he becomes the emperor.
Kaizen in a way does see Astelle as someone who is in the same predicament and Astelle who never confessed her feelings make him assumed that her feelings toward him is the same as him.
Which lead to him doing to what I can say to worse thing he done to Astelle. A very angsty teenage boi ignoring and avoiding his fiancee for their entire childhood. So surprise 2X, he doesn't know much about Astelle despite basically growing up together. And of course, he gonna assume that Astelle like stereo typically any upper class lady stuff.
Now onward to post-divorce. He did tried to give compensation to Astelle after learning that she had been kick out by her OG family and of course Astelle heartbroken, understandably rejected it which make him assume that Astelle found a decent life elsewhere.
ok now i gonna list down things i appreciated about Kaizen after did i mentioned that i binged read this novel 3 times?
- Bro is completely and painfully aware that Astelle do not like him. So yes, he's aware that divorcing literally after the wedding night is a total dick move. So he never does force or blackmail Astelle (the divorce was mutually agreed) but just took every chance to dragged out the trip so he can hopefully convinced Astelle to stay.
- He's very straightforward. He would always confessed that he does feel jealousy when Astelle is having good time with any other man. And expressed disappointment when Astelle wouldn't understandably trust him.
- He's not completely down bad for Astelle. While most of the story Kaizen would say yes to Astelle including when Astelle is planning to work together with her father aka the worst threat to Kaizen. Kaizen doesn't let Astelle completely clouded his judgment when she request her very sick maternal grandpa and her young nephew back to the poor countryside which yah doesn't really made sense in Kaizen's POV. And he did hilariously a petty revenge on Astelle by stealing away Theo (post-reveal) by convinced Theo to sleep at the Emperor's Palace instead for a night.
Now this arc got me emotional the most so i gonna ramble about it.
Onward to the post-"Theo is revealed to br Kaizen's son" arc, Astelle agreed to be the empress again due to some politics stuff that I didn't remember on the condition that Kaizen must agreed to divorce her after 3-5 years later with no strings attached. (like she's had enough lmao) then the maternal grandpa accidentally reveal Astelle's former crush to Kaizen that just give even more emotional dmg to Kaizen which just lead to him to say fuck this and allowed Astelle to leave anytime she wants (and gift her a castle and even the entire East region) with the promised that he would not remarried and Theo will succeed him as the emperor. then he got poisoned. DUNDUNDUN
Now, Astelle could have just took this fine opportunity to leave but of course she didn't and Kaizen while in and out of consciousness, said "i gonna die, huh? welp rn i wanna write my last will to give all of my authority to Astelle". Bro already accepted his fate ヽ(*。>Д<)o゜. and when Astelle said to please recover quickly for Theo and for her, Kaizen literally said, "Wait, you actually want to save me?" gahhhhhhhhh angsttt gyahhhhhhh
OK FINE, i be honest, i'm just here to let out my fangirl moments (no friends moment frfr) I do not expect this incoherent ramblings of a mess would change anyone's mind lol.
on my first read of the novel (back to the ex is my guilty troupe kek) , I literally do not care about Kaizen, thinking he just a whatever ML but after looking at the comments that just 90% shitting on him even multiple times comparing to the likes of GRADE A-HOLE, Sovieshu made me thinking, he's not that bad tho, convinced to re-read again the novel and again for good measure hehe. And the guy (as evidence from the mess of an essay) warmed up to me.
As you can see, i really do like this novel. (just shows what my standards are ehe)
- top tier FML (I don't really care for children so sorry Theo)
- small cast of characters and small world building, at least make me remember all of them upon my binge read.
- Politics is understandable and doesn't felt it doesn't dragged out that much.
- I don't why ppl kept thinking Seibel is the 2nd ML when bro is introduced much later part of the novel. so thankfully no fuckin love triangle.
- Don't really care much about Astelle mom's past B-plot tho
2024.05.19 08:49 mjain4 You were the most important person in my life.
I miss you every day.
I wish you cared about me at all.
I’m doing my best to forgive you for the hurtful words you shared when you ended things.
I went on a road trip and sobbed and sobbed about you. Went to mass and prayed the rosary with the senior ladies and sobbed and sobbed about you.
I remember when I had first met you and I thought, oh my goodness. It’s finally happening for me.
I’ve been on dates with more than 30 guys since you ended things. Nothing has gone beyond 4 dates. Haven’t been exclusive with anyone. Single for 14 months now, and missed you every single day of that time.
I’m gonna die alone. You were my chance at love, you were my chance at a Catholic marriage and family, of traveling the world with someone I loved and admired. You held in your hands the power to make my wildest dreams come true. You held in your hands my heart, because I surrendered it to you the moment I met you, the moment I saw you wave me down from across the restaurant.
I love you. I always will. I don’t know how I’m going to get through the rest of life without you. I don’t think I can ever love again.
submitted by mjain4 to heartbreak [link] [comments]
I wish you cared about me at all.
I’m doing my best to forgive you for the hurtful words you shared when you ended things.
I went on a road trip and sobbed and sobbed about you. Went to mass and prayed the rosary with the senior ladies and sobbed and sobbed about you.
I remember when I had first met you and I thought, oh my goodness. It’s finally happening for me.
I’ve been on dates with more than 30 guys since you ended things. Nothing has gone beyond 4 dates. Haven’t been exclusive with anyone. Single for 14 months now, and missed you every single day of that time.
I’m gonna die alone. You were my chance at love, you were my chance at a Catholic marriage and family, of traveling the world with someone I loved and admired. You held in your hands the power to make my wildest dreams come true. You held in your hands my heart, because I surrendered it to you the moment I met you, the moment I saw you wave me down from across the restaurant.
I love you. I always will. I don’t know how I’m going to get through the rest of life without you. I don’t think I can ever love again.
2024.05.19 08:35 LonelybutnotaloneTX Verbal Abuse
My BH has turned to verbal abuse the last few months. It’s not often, but when he does become abusive, it’s hard. He has also been quoting excerpts from the videos he found & saved that I would send to AP. I get the silent treatment for days. This isn’t new since DDay. But he has increased the amount of days he will go without speaking to me. Before DDay, it was 2-3 days max. Now he will go 5-8 days before speaking to me.
The verbal abuse is pretty jarring. I didn’t even realize it until my therapist pointed it out. He will call me a whore, a bitch, a cunt. He will call me worthless.
It sounds so typical but I provoked him earlier this evening when I tried speaking to him and he just kept telling me to “fuck off”. I saw his dirty shirt on our sofa. I lost it. I’ve been keeping up with my end of housework for the entirety of our marriage. He will constantly tell me that “he pays for my existence”. I saw the shirt rolled it up and threw it at him. I told him to pick up his shit. He lost it.
He threw his shoes at the door, Ripped the bedding off the mattress and went into the kitchen when I was with our daughter. He yelled at me in front of me. “Don’t you ever touch me you fuckjng bitch. You worthless cunt.” He then slammed the bedroom door so hard it chipped the door jamb and frame. So hard my daughter immediately started crying. I consoled her and let her know “yes, daddy does love you. No he isn’t mad at you.”
I guess I’m just wondering if any BP’s have ever done this and still managed R. I’m beginning to think that there might not be a way for R. Advise please.
submitted by LonelybutnotaloneTX to AsOneAfterInfidelity [link] [comments]
The verbal abuse is pretty jarring. I didn’t even realize it until my therapist pointed it out. He will call me a whore, a bitch, a cunt. He will call me worthless.
It sounds so typical but I provoked him earlier this evening when I tried speaking to him and he just kept telling me to “fuck off”. I saw his dirty shirt on our sofa. I lost it. I’ve been keeping up with my end of housework for the entirety of our marriage. He will constantly tell me that “he pays for my existence”. I saw the shirt rolled it up and threw it at him. I told him to pick up his shit. He lost it.
He threw his shoes at the door, Ripped the bedding off the mattress and went into the kitchen when I was with our daughter. He yelled at me in front of me. “Don’t you ever touch me you fuckjng bitch. You worthless cunt.” He then slammed the bedroom door so hard it chipped the door jamb and frame. So hard my daughter immediately started crying. I consoled her and let her know “yes, daddy does love you. No he isn’t mad at you.”
I guess I’m just wondering if any BP’s have ever done this and still managed R. I’m beginning to think that there might not be a way for R. Advise please.
2024.05.19 08:21 mailorderninja How Do I Let Go?
I'm not sure what good writing this will do, but I feel like so few people in my life get what I'm going through, and goodness knows I'm not going to get any sleep tonight.
I'll try to make this as quickly as possible.
I'm a 42(m) and my wife is a 42 (f). We've been married for 19 years now and have a 18 year old son and an 11 year old daughter. Our typical gender roles are reversed, I'm the emotional and main caretaker, and she has a hard time sharing any kind of emotion.
I've always known this, and I know the childhood she has. Me being the opposite--I am always willing to talk about my emotions with my partner, because I feel it is the only way forward.
I did everything you are supposed to do. Complimented her, made her feel loved, did romantic things, cooked, cleaned, did the majority of all house and yard work and took care of our kids. Our sex life was really good, we worked well together, she just wasn't affectionate and can't share emotions.
Then in August 2023 I found out she had been having an affair since the end of June. The next 6 months of my life were Hell. I got mad, but then did what I do and tried to understand why. I forgave her, got counseling, and treated her better than she deserved. We were supposedly reconciling, but I didn't give her any real boundaries. I was too scared to. Then found out in September she was still seeing him. Supposedly left him Nov 17th to truly give our family a shot, January 28th found out she was still seeing him.
For the first time I was going to leave. She begged me to stay. She actually broke up with the dude, I made sure of it, and for the first time in a decade she made actual effort in our marriage.
It was like having the wife of my dreams. I fell more in love with her everyday. She was doing all the things I'd begged as far as affection and talking about stuff for years. We made future plans, went on dates--it was amazing.
We had a really small fight based on her infidelity near the end of April. Extremely minor stuff, and she went on a 48 hour shift and that Sunday sent me a text saying we are getting divorced.
Her emotions completely shut off. Dead faced as I sobbed, as the kids sob. None of her explanations make sense. Things have progressed very rapidly, a month later I'm in my own rent house, she has agreed to generous terms of alimony and 50/50 for my daughter (my son wants nothing to do with her). No matter what I say, she will not reverse course. Lawyers, therapists--they all think this is too quick. We will be divorced in around 45 days.
I'm pretty sure my wife is undiagnosed and unmedicated bipolar. She has these manic episodes where she will make huge changes in life to force herself to change or be happy and it never works.
I think that is what is happening here, but I can't seem to fix it or make her slow down at least long enough to try to get medicated.
Today she told me that she knows it is her, knows I'm a good husband and father, but can't seem to feel things anymore and doesn't think she can fix them with me.
The change was so sudden me and the kids have whiplash. One day we are loving on each other and making plans for the future, two days later we are supposed to be over? 19 years down the drain? None of this makes sense.
I'm struggling with the suddenness of it all. I don't know how to answer my kid's questions about why, and I'm shattered in a million pieces. I have every reason to let her go, but I can't seem to. I defend her when I shouldn't, do things for her when I shouldn't, and every day I just wait for the text saying she has made a mistake. But even living apart for a month, and the last week in my own place, it seems to affect her very little.
I keep waiting for her to wake up, that I can get through to her, but I also know I can't save this marriage alone.
I can't understand how she could walk away from me and the kids, I'd drag myself through Hell for us, in fact I did all those months of infidelity (I haven't even shared the worst bits).
It is really over isn't it? It is time to give up, isn't it?
How do I let go of her? How do I just give up fighting for the family I poured 19 years into, gave my absolute all?
This feels so hopeless.
submitted by mailorderninja to Divorce [link] [comments]
I'll try to make this as quickly as possible.
I'm a 42(m) and my wife is a 42 (f). We've been married for 19 years now and have a 18 year old son and an 11 year old daughter. Our typical gender roles are reversed, I'm the emotional and main caretaker, and she has a hard time sharing any kind of emotion.
I've always known this, and I know the childhood she has. Me being the opposite--I am always willing to talk about my emotions with my partner, because I feel it is the only way forward.
I did everything you are supposed to do. Complimented her, made her feel loved, did romantic things, cooked, cleaned, did the majority of all house and yard work and took care of our kids. Our sex life was really good, we worked well together, she just wasn't affectionate and can't share emotions.
Then in August 2023 I found out she had been having an affair since the end of June. The next 6 months of my life were Hell. I got mad, but then did what I do and tried to understand why. I forgave her, got counseling, and treated her better than she deserved. We were supposedly reconciling, but I didn't give her any real boundaries. I was too scared to. Then found out in September she was still seeing him. Supposedly left him Nov 17th to truly give our family a shot, January 28th found out she was still seeing him.
For the first time I was going to leave. She begged me to stay. She actually broke up with the dude, I made sure of it, and for the first time in a decade she made actual effort in our marriage.
It was like having the wife of my dreams. I fell more in love with her everyday. She was doing all the things I'd begged as far as affection and talking about stuff for years. We made future plans, went on dates--it was amazing.
We had a really small fight based on her infidelity near the end of April. Extremely minor stuff, and she went on a 48 hour shift and that Sunday sent me a text saying we are getting divorced.
Her emotions completely shut off. Dead faced as I sobbed, as the kids sob. None of her explanations make sense. Things have progressed very rapidly, a month later I'm in my own rent house, she has agreed to generous terms of alimony and 50/50 for my daughter (my son wants nothing to do with her). No matter what I say, she will not reverse course. Lawyers, therapists--they all think this is too quick. We will be divorced in around 45 days.
I'm pretty sure my wife is undiagnosed and unmedicated bipolar. She has these manic episodes where she will make huge changes in life to force herself to change or be happy and it never works.
I think that is what is happening here, but I can't seem to fix it or make her slow down at least long enough to try to get medicated.
Today she told me that she knows it is her, knows I'm a good husband and father, but can't seem to feel things anymore and doesn't think she can fix them with me.
The change was so sudden me and the kids have whiplash. One day we are loving on each other and making plans for the future, two days later we are supposed to be over? 19 years down the drain? None of this makes sense.
I'm struggling with the suddenness of it all. I don't know how to answer my kid's questions about why, and I'm shattered in a million pieces. I have every reason to let her go, but I can't seem to. I defend her when I shouldn't, do things for her when I shouldn't, and every day I just wait for the text saying she has made a mistake. But even living apart for a month, and the last week in my own place, it seems to affect her very little.
I keep waiting for her to wake up, that I can get through to her, but I also know I can't save this marriage alone.
I can't understand how she could walk away from me and the kids, I'd drag myself through Hell for us, in fact I did all those months of infidelity (I haven't even shared the worst bits).
It is really over isn't it? It is time to give up, isn't it?
How do I let go of her? How do I just give up fighting for the family I poured 19 years into, gave my absolute all?
This feels so hopeless.
2024.05.19 08:21 Straight_Fudge9177 Feeling stuck with an absent husband in every sense
Hi, I'm 35(F) married to 37(M) for the last 5 years. I am pulling my hair out to get my husband see things from my perspective for the last 4 years or so..and I think I might be losing my patience this year.
We lived with his parents and brother because he couldn't afford a place of his own. 2 months in to living with them, I soon realised this was a huge mistake 1) my life was never going to be the same again - they are close minded, judgemental, sexist expectations, hierarchical thinking (my husband never made any decisions including personal ones like going on trips without consulting his dad), they made sexist comments all the time about my time "living overseas as a single girl" and expected me to "adjust" to their toxic household. All of which I "tolerated" because I wanted to keep the peace in the house, take time to understand my husband and also give it enough time before I took a stand. 2) my husband was a really different person in front of them and I hoped he would be better if it was just the two of us. I was so wrong.
I come from humble beginnings, worked hard for the things I need and want and continue to be the same in my adult life. On the other hand, I learned after marriage that my husband has never worked a single day, receives pocket money from his dad to fund his lifestyle. He makes no effort to contribute to household expenses, he might probably part with 50% of his "pocket money" from dad if there's anything more left after he's paid off his credit card bills, etc. And this isn't without my asking him to pay his share. His pocket money is one fifth of the income I make..
When we tried to move out..my FIL threatened that there would be consequences if we moved out, hurled abuses at me (saying how ungrateful I am after all the money he spends on me - for maintenance?!), to which my husband stood still and allowed his father to say horrible things about me and my family for 45 mins straight. If I had to pinpoint, this was the exact day everything changed in my marriage. Also..up to this day, I was of the understanding that my husband got his monthly income via his family business (which he said he worked for although he mostly stayed home)..and I just took his word for it.
When the FIL said all those things, and my husband stood in silence - I learned he couldn't have my back, didn't care about my feelings, and continued to blame me and gaslight me for the rest of the 3 years we lived away from his parents. What I tried to do in order to save our marriage had only made things worse, and since then it's been a toxic marriage between us. He has never once said what his father has done was wrong, or apologised to me for that. He continues to visit his parents home along with our child (feels very comfy to leave me out/ never invite me), and behaves like nothing has ever happened.
Now I would have moved on from that incident (with or without apology), except his parents and brother continue to brain wash, say mean things about me and tell me to my face that I am 'controlling" and have changed my husband. I am not okay with how my husband is okay with all this. He comes home after a "day out" with his family with no regard for how I might be feeling. They hide a lot of info behind my back but I tried to let it go.. He comes back home triggers me, I say a few things...and he verbally and emotionally abuses me. This has become a pattern. He "punishes" me by not talking to me for weeks, no intimacy whatsoever for months (not even holding hands or a little touch), no support or even general empathy to ask me how I'm doing.
When respect, trust, intimacy, emotional needs, financial security all imp values that contribute to a healthy marriage, missing in our marriage, I don't see a point in having him in my life except that my children need a father. As the sole breadwinner for our family, I am emotionally and mentally overworked and don't believe I can go on longer with an unhelpful, emotionless partner any longer. Our child is 4 and kind of understand what's going on and often see us arguing and bickering. Icing on the cake is I am pregnant now with our second child.
I considered moving back to where I used to live (which is overseas) but I'm not sure I can cope as a single mum with 2 young kids under 5. I have no family support, no elders worth involving in this matter to intervene and counsel, no one outside my 2-3 friends really know the stuff I'm going through. My husband makes 0 income, although his family are wealthy doesn't have a single thing to his name so I'm basically worried he'll leech off me when I apply for a divorce (I have worked extremely hard off for the stuff I possess in my name and want to protect it for my children..)... What are some sensible options?
Thank you so much for reading my lengthy post.
submitted by Straight_Fudge9177 to Marriage [link] [comments]
We lived with his parents and brother because he couldn't afford a place of his own. 2 months in to living with them, I soon realised this was a huge mistake 1) my life was never going to be the same again - they are close minded, judgemental, sexist expectations, hierarchical thinking (my husband never made any decisions including personal ones like going on trips without consulting his dad), they made sexist comments all the time about my time "living overseas as a single girl" and expected me to "adjust" to their toxic household. All of which I "tolerated" because I wanted to keep the peace in the house, take time to understand my husband and also give it enough time before I took a stand. 2) my husband was a really different person in front of them and I hoped he would be better if it was just the two of us. I was so wrong.
I come from humble beginnings, worked hard for the things I need and want and continue to be the same in my adult life. On the other hand, I learned after marriage that my husband has never worked a single day, receives pocket money from his dad to fund his lifestyle. He makes no effort to contribute to household expenses, he might probably part with 50% of his "pocket money" from dad if there's anything more left after he's paid off his credit card bills, etc. And this isn't without my asking him to pay his share. His pocket money is one fifth of the income I make..
When we tried to move out..my FIL threatened that there would be consequences if we moved out, hurled abuses at me (saying how ungrateful I am after all the money he spends on me - for maintenance?!), to which my husband stood still and allowed his father to say horrible things about me and my family for 45 mins straight. If I had to pinpoint, this was the exact day everything changed in my marriage. Also..up to this day, I was of the understanding that my husband got his monthly income via his family business (which he said he worked for although he mostly stayed home)..and I just took his word for it.
When the FIL said all those things, and my husband stood in silence - I learned he couldn't have my back, didn't care about my feelings, and continued to blame me and gaslight me for the rest of the 3 years we lived away from his parents. What I tried to do in order to save our marriage had only made things worse, and since then it's been a toxic marriage between us. He has never once said what his father has done was wrong, or apologised to me for that. He continues to visit his parents home along with our child (feels very comfy to leave me out/ never invite me), and behaves like nothing has ever happened.
Now I would have moved on from that incident (with or without apology), except his parents and brother continue to brain wash, say mean things about me and tell me to my face that I am 'controlling" and have changed my husband. I am not okay with how my husband is okay with all this. He comes home after a "day out" with his family with no regard for how I might be feeling. They hide a lot of info behind my back but I tried to let it go.. He comes back home triggers me, I say a few things...and he verbally and emotionally abuses me. This has become a pattern. He "punishes" me by not talking to me for weeks, no intimacy whatsoever for months (not even holding hands or a little touch), no support or even general empathy to ask me how I'm doing.
When respect, trust, intimacy, emotional needs, financial security all imp values that contribute to a healthy marriage, missing in our marriage, I don't see a point in having him in my life except that my children need a father. As the sole breadwinner for our family, I am emotionally and mentally overworked and don't believe I can go on longer with an unhelpful, emotionless partner any longer. Our child is 4 and kind of understand what's going on and often see us arguing and bickering. Icing on the cake is I am pregnant now with our second child.
I considered moving back to where I used to live (which is overseas) but I'm not sure I can cope as a single mum with 2 young kids under 5. I have no family support, no elders worth involving in this matter to intervene and counsel, no one outside my 2-3 friends really know the stuff I'm going through. My husband makes 0 income, although his family are wealthy doesn't have a single thing to his name so I'm basically worried he'll leech off me when I apply for a divorce (I have worked extremely hard off for the stuff I possess in my name and want to protect it for my children..)... What are some sensible options?
Thank you so much for reading my lengthy post.
2024.05.19 08:18 Kind_Kinkster_84 Happy 40th birthday, mudiwa wangu
Happy, happy birthday, my love. Can you believe that we are are 40 now? It seems like such a milestone year to me, so I'm making it a point to cross off a few bucket list items. It would make me happy to know you're doing the same. You deserve to do something nice for yourself. I hope that this is your very best birthday and that your family is pampering you and giving you all the love you deserve.
Before you ask, yes, I am doing okay. The kids are all doing wonderfully, especially "G". She is thriving, and I am so proud of her. Soccer has started for "B" (sorry, I just couldn't bring myself to call it football 😆), and you know I think of you every time I watch him play. Work is going fantastically, and I'm very happy in my current role. My boss has asked me to take yet another assignment, but I think that I will politely decline this time. I'm exhausted of the constant grind and have been focusing my energy on personal aspirations aside from my career, for once.
The vase from the flowers that you sent me broke a few weeks ago, and I cried. I cried because I have one less reminder of you. I cried because that broken glass was a stark reminder of how broken our connection has become. And I cried in frustration at both my inability to find another who loves me and at the missed opportunity to see you in Chicago earlier this year. I plan to visit London in August, and as much as I tell myself the trip is for relaxation and gazing at art and architecture, we both know the real reason. There may be little hope of seeing you, but being in the same city will be comforting enough.
Are you doing okay, too? It drives me crazy when you disappear, and I can't inquire about the happenings in your life. I miss knowing even the mundane. How is your work? Have you made it to an Arsensal game or two this season? What books have you been reading? Have you taken any trips? What activities are the kids involved in these days? Will you even be in London in August or have you taken a new assignment elsewhere?
Anyway, I hope that you have been "all in" with your marriage and that things with "L" have improved. I pray that she is treating you well and making you happy. She is so lucky to have you. I also hope the kids, your mum, your sisters and their families are all doing well. But most importantly, I hope you are taking care of yourself. Please don't forget to do that. You can't take care of everyone else if you're not putting care into yourself. Lastly, never forget your worth and that you are loved beyond measure. I hope that we speak again soon.
ndinokuda uye ndakusuwa, K💗
submitted by Kind_Kinkster_84 to UnsentLetters [link] [comments]
Before you ask, yes, I am doing okay. The kids are all doing wonderfully, especially "G". She is thriving, and I am so proud of her. Soccer has started for "B" (sorry, I just couldn't bring myself to call it football 😆), and you know I think of you every time I watch him play. Work is going fantastically, and I'm very happy in my current role. My boss has asked me to take yet another assignment, but I think that I will politely decline this time. I'm exhausted of the constant grind and have been focusing my energy on personal aspirations aside from my career, for once.
The vase from the flowers that you sent me broke a few weeks ago, and I cried. I cried because I have one less reminder of you. I cried because that broken glass was a stark reminder of how broken our connection has become. And I cried in frustration at both my inability to find another who loves me and at the missed opportunity to see you in Chicago earlier this year. I plan to visit London in August, and as much as I tell myself the trip is for relaxation and gazing at art and architecture, we both know the real reason. There may be little hope of seeing you, but being in the same city will be comforting enough.
Are you doing okay, too? It drives me crazy when you disappear, and I can't inquire about the happenings in your life. I miss knowing even the mundane. How is your work? Have you made it to an Arsensal game or two this season? What books have you been reading? Have you taken any trips? What activities are the kids involved in these days? Will you even be in London in August or have you taken a new assignment elsewhere?
Anyway, I hope that you have been "all in" with your marriage and that things with "L" have improved. I pray that she is treating you well and making you happy. She is so lucky to have you. I also hope the kids, your mum, your sisters and their families are all doing well. But most importantly, I hope you are taking care of yourself. Please don't forget to do that. You can't take care of everyone else if you're not putting care into yourself. Lastly, never forget your worth and that you are loved beyond measure. I hope that we speak again soon.
ndinokuda uye ndakusuwa, K💗