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Hey besties of reddit! Haven't been on here before, but wanted to invite you to join the Corvallis Creative Cooperative, my community building organization. We've mostly been organizing on Facebook, where we have about 800 members, but I’ve been running into more and more people around town who aren’t on there but have been hearing about us and are interested in taking part. So - maybe you're one of them! You're welcome to check out our website (www.corvalliscreativecooperative.com), but here's a quick rundown.
I don't have a real short version of what we do, other than the phrases "community building" and "Friendship is Magic", because we do a lot. I run about 20 events a week, from support groups to walking groups to communal cooking to a potluck to movie night to tabletop games and plenty more. We’re starting up a community farm on one of our member’s properties. I’m working on a cooperative housing project, to make sure that everyone in our group has a safe home that they can afford to live in (that’s an ambitious one, but we’ll get there). We have a burgeoning home business cooperative, and I’ve set up a community workshop in my home that people can come use to make whatever they want.
There’s more, of course, but that’s a few of the things we do.
The most important part of this isn’t really the things we do, though: it’s the people we bring together. What ties all of our events and projects together is my conviction that we fundamentally need each other, not just to be happy and healthy, but to be human. The general reckoning is that this is the most isolated time in human history. We have a tremendous amount of loneliness, social anxiety, and related mental and physical health struggles. Even for people who are doing relatively well, the kinds of tight-knit, interdependent communities that humans have formed for most of history are very much a thing of the past.
I’m trying to bring that kind of community back - and it has been delightful and shocking to see how many people have been excited to join in. I hope you’ll be one of them.
Before I get on to other things, wanted to share my personal favorite event we do: Upward Spiral. This is basically our anti-death spiral group, where we sit down, figure out goals and problems that people in the group want to work towards, and then help each other make our lives healthier and happier in real, material ways. That’s what friends are for, right? We had our first meeting for that group yesterday, and all seven people who took part came out of it with some pretty high impact solutions - new places to live, support with mental health struggles, helpers to organize their home; that kind of stuff. We all have different strengths and resources, and nothing warms my heart like seeing something one person struggles with get done by someone it's easy breezy for.
If you have any questions, or just want to talk, my number is 541-740-1452. My name’s Robbie, and we’re not just friends - we’re besties, bestie!

its the worst feeling because i wish i could be the type that wants to make you jealous and show you that im better off without you and with other guys. but i dont want to do that. i dont want to think about you feeling hurt. i still never would want to hurt you, ever, even after how much you hurt me. i would have kept trying and never gave up on us. i care about you so much sometimes it scares me into thinking i accidentally formed a soul tie with you bc idk how the FUCK are you so heavily saturated in my thoughts even though i havent seen you in 9 months. 9 fucking months. barely even spoken to you since. i hate having to look at your stupid social media to try and figure out what you’re up to and who you’re with. it feels so weird being back in your city and not telling you. i feel like im keeping a secret from you. i wonder if you think about me as much as i think about you. i wonder if you care about me as much as i care for you, still, and always. if you called me and needed help with anything i would always be there for you, no questions asked. but no i will never reach out to you, even if i think about u till the day i die. i don’t know why but i feel like i need to be there for you and i want to be. sometimes i get upset thinking about how ill never love someone the same way i loved you, so naively with so much hope and innocence. sometimes i wonder if that’s what im missing so strongly, the feeling of being in love for the first time. the intense feelings in our relationship. the highs and lows. i think i miss how much i loved being so helplessly in love. i love how much i loved you and how you were a catalyst which i was able to fully pour love into without restraint. i miss texting you my every thought and telling you i love you 6472838 times a day. im grieving the love i had for you and your presence. grieving you while you’re still alive, ironic. it makes me sad that now i keep my guard up because im too scared of getting hurt again. i keep telling myself nobody compares to you but maybe im not even giving them the chance to compare. maybe i dont want them to compare. maybe im not ready to let go of the idea of you. the idea of you, the you i wanted you to be, not the you your actions showed you were. i hope one day i will let someone back in. everything will work out, and i know that, but until then, i yearn 🫠

So my spouse moved out of the house to his office (in our property) about 1 month ago, due to my poor behavior (poor emotional regulation and raging when I feel dismissed and unheard). I stupidly texted him to check on him after he went to his office/bedroom seeming unsettled for an unknown (to me) reason. A few hours later, I found myself thinking fondly of him and the live he has shown me, so I checked in with him to see if he was any better. He said he was a bit better and wanted to know what was on my mind. I confessed to was thinking about him, and checking to see if he was doing any better. After I vulnerablly confessed I had been thinking about him, his next two responses were reticent two word responses, so I made the poor assumption that my confession of thinking about him had upset him (he goes from hot to cold as quickly as I do these days). After his two word answers, I responded "I am guessing my honesty means we are done talking." And then I was told I was being passive aggressive and that I had a "twisted perspective". My response was "It was not meant to be twisted. If my interpretation was wrong. I am sorry.". Then the situation was cleared up and he was off to bed. He 'called me out' on what he felt was my 'poor' behavior as usual and does not see how his response was dismissive to my vulnerability. He hasn't read any of my responses after that, keeping to his boundaries I'm guessing, but to which one I don't know. I'm upset that I was dumb enough to text him in my vulnerability only to be met with mono symbol answers and then attacked for misinterpreting them as him shutting down because I had been honest in admitting that I was thinking about him. Why do I feel like he only sees a black/white view of me, when he constantly calls me out on that? I hate seeing myself through his eyes when they seem so full of dusdain for me. I know that I have hurt him but I hate that I see so much disdain towards me that it makes me doubt that he still loves me. But if he only feels contempt for me, I can't blame him. But I keep holding out that contempt isn't all he feels for me, even if that seems to be what I feel most often from him these days. Maybe I am just being emotionally disregulated or pessimistic or whatever other BPD characteristic that this can be seen as, and maybe it's not. IDK, my gut tells me one thing but I know he would say another. I feel confused, accused, dismissed and so very alone in all of it. Why can't I just do what a normal person would do? I pray multiple times a day that God will just let me die (since I have promised not to KMS), my bedtime prayer has turned into a plee for God to let me sleep and not wake up. But I know when my damn alarm goes off, I will still be here, dealing with the consequences of my messed up head. drowning in sorrow for the life I dreamed of, guilt & shame for the life I have made because of my own choices. Dear God, maybe you will hear my prayer if I put it on line-since my verbal prayers continue to go unmet- be with my husband and give him peace and healing for the past, the present and the future. And please let me I fall asleep, and not ever wake up, or heal my broken mind so that I can stop hurting all those around me.

How are you all handling things at the moment?
My 12m contract job I loved and told me they’d renew me for another 12m didn’t end up doing so, so I’m doing a 2m temp gig that is quite stressful.
I’m finishing my last two units at University after 9.5 years - I dropped out to work full time. My essay was due Friday, I already got a seven day extension. I’m finishing it today, but it’s not that good. I have a presentation due Tuesday that I haven’t started, and I will need to ask for time off at my new job, which I’m sure will be okay but I hate to ask.
I am lucky to pay $150 a week, but the whole house is $750 in Mt Lawley and there are 4 people (including myself) living in it. My room has no aircon (I have a temp unit); we can only really afford it cause we rent out the parking spots without the owner's knowledge. Objectively the house isn't bad, but i find it incredibly stressful to live with so many people who seem so messy. We also always get cockroaches in summer, and the rent is going up in July, and even if i wanted to leave i am the only one on the lease so everyone would need to move out and it could be super messy. i doubt i could find a place even if i wanted.
I lost 6kgs this year but in the past month have gained 2kgs from stress. I have no money because I spend way too much.
I’m mid 20s but overwhelmed. I feel like I’m making no progress and nothing really matters. I hate my work situation, uni situation, housing situation, but I also feel bad that I am doing well in comparison to some people who are really struggling.
I can’t even really afford mental health support. And I’m not sure it would help.
How are people managing? Are there any resources in Perth? How do I hang in there?

As im looking back on my breakup, I realize the way I was treated was very unfair in a lot of ways. But I understand where it all stems from. Me and him had gone through very similar things, and I just keep wondering if I said the right thing during the breakup, if I could’ve made everything better.
When we broke up he gave me a laundry list of things he had an issue with, things he had never communicated with me. I felt like such a horrible person, I took it personal and I ruminated for weeks on what I could’ve done to make him feel like he could speak to me. And then I realized it wasn’t my responsibility to make him communicate, yk? If he didn’t bring things up to me when they were effecting him, then I shouldn’t be made to feel like a horrible person because of it.
But now im just really regretful. I wish I asked him why he didn’t bring things up with me sooner. I wish he let me fix everything, because I loved him so much, and I really would’ve done anything for him. He was flawed, just like me, and I just sometimes think about how things would’ve gone if I hadn’t just accepted it and actually fought harder for it to work.

So obviously I need to watch tutorials but everyone says a lot of different things so I want a variety of opinions not just from influencers trying to make money. Context: I'm 15 and I want to learn how to do box braids to help keep the time I spend doing my hair to maybe 5-10 minutes max. I usually spend at least 30 minutes a day because I do sports so I have to wash it and the twists I do don't last trough the night.
I've watched videos and I think I need some kind of braiding gel, hair oil, and mousse. I want to add some extensions, not a lot cause my hair is to my shoulders but enough to give it some 'volume'? Cause I'd definitely be insecure with squiggly noodles for hair. But is that all I'd need? Should I avoid washing it after practice?(3-4 times a week) If I wash it do I scrub it or just rinse it? Also I'm scared of putting too much tension and ripping my hair out so is knotted or knotless a better option for me?
Also the reason I'm not just going to a professional to get it done is because of time and my mom doesn't want to pay the high prices that hairstylists are requesting for a style that probably won't last me more than 2 weeks because of sports, I do fencing and my head gets really sweaty plus the mask rubs on my hair a lot.

Third person POV:
It was a calm day in the Menumen empire. Lya was sitting on her throne and tending to the issues of her empire. Her seers had warned her of a possible slave rebellion that might take place in about a century. She obviously couldn't let something like that happen.
Lya turned her attention to her minister of human resources.
"Hear my decree, from this day onwards all slves shall-„
A guard burst into the room and fell to his knees in front of her.
"Yes?“
Lya inquired.
"Your majesty! There is a destroyer rampaging through the south eastern regions!“
"I see...I shall attend to this myself. Execute this guard, he has conducted himself improperly.“
Despite her words, a wide smile fell on the guards face.
"Thank you, your majesty! It is an honor!“
Lya rose from her throne and walked past the man, unimpressed by his devotion, paying him no further mind.
Meanwhile, in another part of the castle:
No sound was heard, as Delorem's many tentacles ripped apart the floor of the lower guards barrack's bathroom, the silence spell working as intended.
With a wave of their hand, Delorem dispelled the magic and rose from the hole, with Whisper following right behind him.
Mars POV:
I was in my cell.
“It’s been… how long has it been? I don’t remember…”
Im severely bruised and injured. My tail is limp, jagged, bent in multiple places, and dragging across the floor. There seems to be no magic coming out from me, around my neck is some sort of collar. I’m heavily bruised, malnourished, and frail looking. I look half dead.
Thirteen seconds…
7 seconds
5
4
3
2-
Before I could finish, the sounds of a guard walking past the cell could be heard, his loud but bored sounds of his patrol echoing out.
I whisper to myself
"I have 49 seconds.“
I attempt to crank up my perception, but halts just when it gets to the end of the hall. All this torture was starting to affect me. I gather the ambient fire mana into my fingertips, and make a small burning blade aura out of it. I begin cutting the bars…
30 seconds…
I make it through the first bar, two more to go.
25 seconds left…
I manage to saw through the other bars, and gathering whatever remains of the ambient mana, I cast a small illusion, covering up the bars and making it look like im sitting inside. I limp away, down the hall.
Damn stupid maze. 15 seconds…
”when I was first brought here, I attempted to remember the paths with my sense, but the pain made it quite hard to remember much of anything. Now I can’t see very far…”
I found a corner I know the guard won’t check. I’m out of breath. My body feeling weak and heavy.
Not… yet… I'm… almost… there…
I walk down the path I choose in the dungeon. Making turns wherever I saw fit. I didn’t seem to have a destination in mind. I was going in blind
I… … need… … to… … hold… … ou-
finally, at a four way intersection, I collapse to the ground of exhaustion. Alone. I’m far away from where the guards frequent.
I’ve fallen completely unconscious.
Third Person POV:
Thud
Yet another guard fell to the ground, his heart pierced by one of Delorem’s blade tipped tentacles.
Thud
The guard at the other end of the archway the two guards had been stationed at fell as well, his throat pierced by his own shadow at Whisper’s command.
Delorem waved their hand, dispelling yet another silence spell. They turned to Whisper.
„There are more guards stationed in this area then there used to be…I guess it makes sense she would have changed things at least once after 3000 years…"
"That is some very old intel Delorem. I am surprised the whole structure has not changed since then. I sense one around the corner and several above and below us.“
Whisper replied.
„My mother has a tendency to stagnate. She hasn’t even changed her- Do you feel that?“
"I feel many presences. Which one are you referring to?“
„Below us, the unconscious one. I think that’s Mars!“
"I will cover you if you want to head on in for retrieval.“
„Thank you. Take care of any guards that show up.“
For a moment, Delorem’s eyes were lit up by a dense array of golden runes, as silence fell over the area once more.
Delorem’s tentacles shot forwards, dairying into the ground as if it was made from styrofoam, throwing away pieces of debris as Delorem dug through the ground..
Then, a stone was flung too far, landing beyond the silence spell’s influence, the sound of its impact loudly echoing throughout the previously quiet halls of the castle.
„Shit.“
Delorem soundlessly mouthed.
"A patrol is coming to inspect. I will intercept.“
Whisper telepathically informed Delorem as she rushed off. Delorem simply replied with a feeling of approval as they continued to tear through the floor.
Soon screams rang out from the other side of the hall. None of the guards stood a chance.
Finally Delorem broke through the floor, allowing themself to fall into the newly made hole, Whisper following them seconds later.
Delorem landed on the floor, just a few meters in front of the unconscious Mars.
„That’s him! He must have made it out of his cell somehow.“
Whisper reached out telepathically: "Guards are down. What is happening on your end?“
„I found him. Let’s get out of this cursed place.“
Delorem rose from the floor and floated back up through the hole.
„Alright, we should have some time until-„
Suddenly, the sound of hundreds of trumpets could be heard, a fanfare to announce the arrival of someone of high status. The empress had returned.
„RUN!“
…
A few minutes later, Lyadria Menumen stood at the hole in the floor of her castle, the man who had brought her the news of her captives escape lying on the ground next to her, his head completely liquified.
Yet, on Lya’s face, there was not a hint of anger, only a sadistic smile.
/uw big thanks to everyone who took part!

My boyfriend and I have been dating throughout college and now into post-grad. I loved our relationship so much but now that I have moved to his hometown I feel like it has torn us apart. It’s not like he’s just hanging out with friends here without me. Mutually we have nobody here but he does live with his parents. It’s just he works during the day and I work nights. whenever I’m free I have to rest because I am so damn tired but he likes to go out and do activities. He seems to prefer being with his family and I am just here so alone. I have no friends. No family. Nobody. I am the kinda person that can usually make it through because I know everything is temporary. I haven’t had a panic attack in a very very long time but I’ve lived here for 9 months and I feel less and less connected everyday. This sounds pathetic but I feel like I have to beg to be hungout with. I have had many hardships in my life with family especially, abuse and manipulation etc. I feel uncomfortable showing how I feel because whenever I tell him something going on at work or family he just sits there and doesn’t say anything. Sometimes I pour my heart out and it’s like a brick wall. I’ve come to terms with a lot of my life but once I had asked him if he had ever considered how it felt to be me. And I got “no.” I love him to death but I just don’t get how we can connect on all other levels but he can’t put himself in someone else’s shoes. Especially looking to become a doctor, I just don’t see how a lack of empathy can workout. Does anyone else have experience with this? He is such a great guy this is just so hard for me right now

So I do really risk sounding unappreciative here, but it’s so difficult to tell when you’re in the trenches.
I went back to work in January when my son was 6 months old, my mum comes to mine and my partners place 3 days a week to watch my son there, she also often makes dinners, does laundry, neatens the place up, and buys formula, as well as offering my little one lots of enriching activities outside of the house. I don’t ask her to do this, she just wants to help lighten our load and we are SO grateful. She also runs a business with my dad from my place, and go into the business when she isn’t at my place.
My partners parents offered to watch my son one day a week, we were grateful, but unsure. They live 70 miles away and it can take up to 2.5 hours to get to them as they live near the coast and it’s a high traffic route. We asked if they were comfortable driving all the way in a day and staying at our for the day, they said they were and they were just happy to get a day with our son. I did tell them that if they weren’t sure they could consistently do it, I would need to know so I could start getting on nursery waiting lists. They assured me it was all good. They are retired.
It was, until a couple of months ago when they moved the goal post. My partner told me they wanted us to bring our son up there on a Sunday to stay the night so they could watch him on the Monday at theirs, and they would drive him back Monday evening. When I asked him why, he said his dad doesn’t like getting up early on the Monday to come to us.
I HATED this idea, we both work full time, my partner sometimes 60 hours a week so we can recoup some money from my mat leave and now we have to lose another day just travelling to his parents house and home again, I feel like I’ve got split custody with my in laws. I hate losing my son for one of the two days I get to see him properly a week. I hate losing my entire Sunday with my little family. I am starting to resent his family so much.
I’ve spoken to my partner about it, he ultimately agrees that it’s BS and hates it, and has tried to get them to budge and cut the overnight stays to twice a month. Nope. It’s all the time or no childcare. We’re on nursery waiting lists, but I don’t know how long I’m going to be stuck in this situation. It’s the main source of contention between my partner and I.

I have a pretty good relationship with my mom. We butt heads sometimes but she’s usually pretty reasonable. I’m living with my parents right now because I have a chronic illness and I’m working on getting on my feet and then moving out. I have a mental illness. I’m super healthy and have a bunch of healthy habits. I’m not a toxic person like the stereotype, I just struggle and I make sure to help my parents out as much as I can while I’m here. Just two months ago I was hallucinating so I’m on new medication. It’s working really well and I’m doing good. I go to my bipolar support group, I have a therapist and psychiatrist, I take medication. I’m on my shit bc I have to be. I never take my issues out on my parents.
(I know there will be people who blame me or judge me for having a mental disability so if you are going to do that, please don’t)
My mom has been sober for 30 years. Before that she was a mess, she’s told me intense stories. She’s very much involved with AA. She’s pretty high up there, she does speaker meanings in front of hundreds of people, all her friends are sober, her brother is sober, and she still goes to meetings regularly. Honestly, I am so grateful and proud of her sobriety. I know AA has helped her. I am super proud of her. She helps people. I just think she might need actual therapy instead of just AA work.
The thing is, she thinks everyone is an alcoholic. She can be very harsh sometimes. Ever since I started drinking alcohol as an adult, she has judged me. I definitely don’t have a drinking or drug problem. I drink maybe 2-3 times a month, a couple of glasses of beer or wine that’s it. I don’t even drink liquor. I’m happy with just a couple beers. I haven’t been blacked out since I was a teenager and I can’t remember the last time I had a hangover.
The thing is (which isn’t my main issue there’s more to this story) she literally judges me so hard if I ever drink or she hears about me drinking. We can be at dinner with the family, I’ll order a glass of cab to go with my pasta, and she will give me dirty looks and make comments. I’ve been dealing with this for 10 years. The one time I was hungover a long time ago I was vomiting, and she gave me so much grief and was like “wow you drank so much you are sick” and won’t leave me alone. At family functions I’ll have a beer with my cousins and she just vibes me so hard. She treats me like I have a serious drinking problem when I clearly don’t. For 10 years she gets shitty with me if she sees me even have one beer.
Well two days ago I had a great beach day. The beach was empty, my dog and I walked for miles, we ran into an old friend. It was such a good day. I deal with depression a lot so I treasure my good days. I was so sad that my day got ruined because of her.
On the way home I got a tall coors light bc it sounded nice after my beach day. I came home, super happy, talking to my parents, making jokes. I made some food, cleaned up the kitchen, did dishes and went to go to my room. we were walking to our rooms at the same time. As I began to say goodnight to my mom, she turned around, stared at the beer and me and gave me a nasty look. The thing about my mom she often lies, if she says something fucked up and I point it out she will lie . She does these lies and it’s so obvious.
After she gave me that nasty look, I calmly said “I’m 30 years old, I’m allowed to have a beer, don’t judge me”. Then she lied and said I was looking at your glasses. Gaslighting me. I told her, no you weren’t. You gave me a look because I have a beer. She denied it and I said “liar”. She lost her shit. She started saying you’re calling me a liar!!!! And started yelling at me. I stood my ground and said you were lying and I don’t appreciate being treated like that, you gave me a look about my beer. Shehe even admitted it and said that yes I saw you had a tall beer (she said tall as if that means something) and she continued to lie and said I was looking at your glasses too. I retreated to my room bc I didn’t want to have a full blown argument. She followed me.
The thing about my mom, when she is super upset she comes super close to me aggressively, like what people do when they are about to fight.
She came into my room and was yelling at me, saying over and over you called me a liar. She got in my face aggressively. I told her many times to get out of my face. It’s like she was trying to get me to fight her. She kept getting closer and closer until I was up against the wall. I was being rational and saying it’s not okay to treat me like this and she kept mocking me. Over and over, while inches from my face when she had me cornered. She wouldn’t listen and move.
We have a power imbalance in our relationship bc while I recover and get stable, they help me with gas sometimes or things like ordering contacts, or I’ll use it to pick up things for her or stuff like paying when I took her cat to the vet. I pet sit and pay for my bills. She gave me a credit card to keep with me just in case. I barely ever use it, usually just for gas id she says it’s okay. I’ve expressed my gratitude many times that they are helping me, while also sharing how embarassed and ashamed I am to lean on my parents and live at home for now. This hasn’t been how it was forever, I lived alone for 9 years in Northern CA. I just needed time to get more stable and save money, and have a place to live while I go to my appointments.
So she was hysterical freaking out, mocking me and getting aggressive. She all of a sudden yelled give me thee credit card now!! I barely ever use it, I don’t give a fuck about the card, she brought it up to throw the money thing in my face even though she knows how humbling it is for me to rely on them.
I said I’m not giving it to you until you get out of my face. She then grabbed my phone and said fine will your not getting your phone tonight. I said I don’t care about the card and you don’t get to treat me like this. She then ran to her office to cancel the card online. I followed her to get my phone back and got my wallet. She was hysterical yelling at me at her computer, and mocking every single thing I said. She twisted my words around. She also then said “Wow what’s going on with you tonight?” Alluding that I was being mentally ill or unstable, which she knew I wasn’t she just threw the good ol “wow have you taken your meds” to do a low blow about my mental illness. That in itself is so hurtful bc they know how much I’ve struggled with this. I told her I’m not giving you the card until you give me my phone. She got up and cornered me again. She got so close to me aggressively and I just kept telling her to back up. She got me against a wall again. Then she hit me multiple times, and I softly but firmly put my knee up and pushed to get her off me. I threw the card at her desk. I was saying that the card has nothing to do with this, you just brought that up to make me feel bad, you are so toxic, I did nothing wrong. She continued mocking me. I left and went into the bathroom and she finally left. I cried a lot in the shower.
I just treated her to a great Mother’s Day. We had a great time. It made me so sad and so hurtful she treated me like this. It keeps replaying in my head and I can’t believe she got so physical with me and hit me. The mocking, gaslighting, lies. Alluding that I was having an episode… that one hurt a lot. She didn’t say it genuinely she said it as an insult. All over a coors light. Her behavior was so toxic. I am hurt. I can’t believe she hit me.
I want to forgive her but I can’t bring myself to. I really don’t want to talk to her at all. She apologized over text but never in person. I’ve been avoiding her. Tonight, I was in the living room and she turned off the lights , I said don’t turn off the lights I’m in here. She coldly said “I don’t care”.
I need to wait to move out til my meds are stabilized and I saved the money. I’m a good roommate, I help them a lot. I miss living alone.
How do I move on from this? Where do I go from here? What should I say to her?

My abuser had a complete meltdown a month ago and I felt forced to call the police. I had been asking him to leave for months because he was refusing to get help for his declining mental state and addictions, but he refused to leave. As I'm sure you all understand, I love him and wanted him to get help so that we could be happy, despite how unrealistic that hope might have been. I only called the police because I was scared for my life and his.
He was arrested and I got a protection order. He had a gun that he had hidden from me. I've discovered so many other lies since then. I've realized he was just using me. It has been incredibly painful and I wish I could turn off my heart while I heal. I understand trauma bonds. I hate that I want him to reach out and make promises I know he won't keep. But I've been doing my best to focus on myself and my healing, through therapy and music and meditation and now medication. I cry every day. Sometimes all day. I am failing at my job. He traumatized me and he traumatized my dogs. And I still miss him so much. I haven't reached out and I won't. But if he reached out to me I don't think I would have the strength to not respond. He told the court he is in therapy now and "looking into" AA and NA. The court ordered a mental health evaluation but he only has to do it if he doesn't want me to be able to renew the protection order in 5 years. I know he will do none of these things.
I heard recently that he lost his shit at work. In a way this was helpful to me because it felt validating, for other people to see the mask slip. His job is his whole identity right now. I also was told that he bought a brand new car, a sports car of every teenage boy's dreams. I felt disgusted by this because he has no money, is living with his mom, and the only message he asked her to pass along to me after his arrest was to ask if I would pay for him to get his own place. I didn't respond. She's an enabler and knew he had a gun for 3 years and never told me. She's planning to buy him an rv. He can't afford that car. And now with his outburst at work he will probably be fired.
Today an acquaintance apparently got him as a suggested friend on Facebook and she sent me screenshots of his page, including one of him showing off the car. He has a new profile photo, he's smiling and handsome. His profile used to be him and my dog. I know it is a facade. He had 24 likes and 24 comments on the post of his car. I want to know who commented and I also really don't. He had told me he wasn't using social media anymore. Another lie.
I'm sure he's talking to girls about his car. I'm sure people think he's a good person because of where he works. And I'm just sitting here crying and needing to throw up. I did not want to see his social media. I was doing well and now I'm back to square one, I can't stop seeing the photos in my mind.
I hate everything about this and that abusive people just go on with life like this didn't fucking happen while we're left with so much trauma and confusion and pain and love and stupid hope.

It's only corruption if it's not on record. It's not corruption if you were asked to do it.
People don't realize how much control and surveillance they got over people. It would make sense for whoever taking over to adapt with the systems that are already in place.
In reality, they are probably still taking bribes and doing the usual. Now they only gotta be more low key about it.

My father is old but still has a fair bit of life ahead of him. He was a decent provider for our family and has never been violent or had affairs etc. Him and my mum are still together although there is no passion in their relationship. He’s never bothered to do anything for our (mum and my) birthdays - no cakes, no celebration, no gifts. Anniversary and Christmas are not celebrated, even though these things would mean a lot to mum and I.
I’ve expressed how mum and I feel to him and he dismisses it, claiming he does enough by providing a house, keeping the gardens in order, paying my school fees etc when I was a kid. Noting that mum worked and contributed just as much financially and probably did more in the parenting department, and both her and I do make the effort with birthday’s (even his) etc.
He’s a very well liked person amongst his extended family, friends and acquaintances as he is extremely likeable at a shallow level but doesn’t care for making the effort to show love in a meaningful way to those closest to him. he didn’t show up to my mother’s 70s birthday get away or the interstate funerals of her parents.
WIBTA if I/we did not arrange a memorial or funeral for him when the time comes?

So it's me again, back for another rant! Life is tough, and I don't have anyone I can talk to. I'm just so tired of the way things are!
Last night me and my bestie decided to have a few drinks and just unwind, it was actually a lot of fun. We had some drinks and sang along to some music, it was overall just great. Unfortunately if everything went good, it wouldn't be much of a rant would it. The night was going fine, I had 3 cans of Mike's Hard Black cherry (super yummy and definitely recommend it) and I had 2 glasses of rum & coke, so nothing all that crazy for me compared to how much I have drank in the past. Around 3am I got hit with some mild chest pain...
The chest pain turned into a really intense pressure through my chest that ended up radiating through my back, it was nothing like what I've felt before, I get stress chest pains and honestly this experience made them seem somehow diminished in comparison. As the pain got worse I noticed I was having trouble breathing, it got so bad that I started getting nervous. Within 20 minutes of the chest pains starting I got genuinely scared and asked my bestie to take me to the hospital, anyone who knows me knows that I will avoid it at all cost so she knew that it had to be serious enough. She went into panic mode and in spite of everything I managed to stay calm and take control of the situation. As we pulled into the hospital parking lot I started feeling an almost primal fear, the type of fear you get when you think you're truly about to die.
I got to the front desk and was immediately told to come in and take vitals, they couldn't get a BP despite having the cuff on my arm for about 10 minutes, she finally gave up and asked me the usual questions about pain and stuff. Weirdly enough my arms decided to shift between pain and numbness and I suddenly started slurring while trying to explain myself, that was when all "care" was off limits to me. Our hospital has a bad habit of sweeping people under the rug if they even remotely suspect alcohol use, but the thing is I was fine moments before going in... I was perfectly coherent and I actually felt completely sober thanks probably to adrenaline or fear. I was sent back to the waiting area and told to just wait my turn, and things went from bad to worse quickly.
I didn't know that I had passed out, my bestie filled in the blanks for me. Apparently while we sat there waiting I kept coughing roughly, my eyes rolled to the back of my head, and apparently I kept making weird movements with my tongue sticking out. She said the best way of describing it is "I was behaving like I'd been severely drugged and suddenly seemed to spiral quickly". When I came too I was still in the waiting room, freezing, in severe pain (I don't do well in cold environments and the hospital is always freezing), and feeling just beyond exhausted. When I asked her about if we were even checked on she confirmed my thoughts... we were left there, away from other patients, out of sight of anyone who could help if things got deadly.
After managing to stand up I looked at my bestie and said that I didn't want to be there anymore because no one cared about me, she agreed with me on the terms that if anything else happened we'd go back immediately. When I went back to triage to tell them I was leaving the nurse gave me a smug look and asked if I was feeling better or do I just want to leave, so I answered with "better isn't the word I'd use but dying at home seems like a better option". She ripped the IV plug out of my arm (which I frankly don't remember having one inserted), and told me to have a good day. I felt so angry! The experience triggered my PTSD from the last time I went to the hospital (long story short, I was kept isolated in a room soaking wet and freezing until the department I needed decided to take me in).
I could have died, and no one would've cared because they suspected I was drunk!!! What if no one came to check on me at all?! What if they only found out I died because my bestie couldn't wake me?! Would they have maybe cared than? Or would they have just said "oh well she drank"? It's infuriating to be treated like nothing just because there was a little bit of alcohol involved, like I said I wasn't drunk and actually felt sober! My condition deteriorated rapidly over the course of a 5 minute car ride. I spent the whole day just feeling rough!
After we left the hospital my body just doesn't feel right. My chest feels fuzzy/bubbly, I don't know how to better describe the feeling as well as feeling tight. My breathing still feels really labored like it's taking a lot of effort to just keep going, and small things are leaving me feeling winded. All day I couldn't shake this weird chronic fatigue, I'm just drained of all energy. And I've been noticing my arms go completely numb if I lean on them, which is super alarming. As long as nothing else happens in between I'm planning on following up with my doctor because at least she's taking me seriously, if something else does happen though were gonna take the 3+ hour drive to the next nearest hospital. The scary thing is, that weird primal fear still hasn't gone away and I'm nervous about that!

As a writer, I have a conflicted relationship with commissions, but you’re here for the tea. Sorry if this is jumbled, but the client is an amalgamation of every bad commissioner that you have ever read about or that you may have worked for.
First, they ordered a writing commission, but during the first 5000 words they were surprised there was “too much” writing and reading. I told them from the start the first draft would be better off as a script so I could easily adapt into a novel, a D&D homebrew or whatever they desired. They originally had 60 PAGES of characters, but I have cut it down to 31 pages (so far). I gave them three simple ‘homework’ tasks to gather all the information I needed for the three parts of this commission. A plot summary (in bullet points) which took them four months because they insisted on writing it like a novel. The list of characters took six months (they are going back to remake EVERY character reference because it took them so long that the early references are out of date) and they fought me with every character we cut and they still haven’t sent me examples of how they want the D&D homebrew to be formatted. They say they have no idea what to look for as they knew nothing about D&D, but they blew me off for two years playing a D&D game with other friends using a D&D Beyond account ( I do not support Wizards of the Coast). For context, the bullet points took me 2 pages and 2 voice calls with the commissioner to summarize and the list of character names took 3 days and 3 voice calls to compile on Google Doc and move to Trello. What about my plan to script? He INSISTED that I, an expert in my field, should write the novel while he worked with a ‘friend’ of his on the D&D homebrew. Why would he need a script? He didn’t WANT a script.
Only a few weeks later, he ran back to me after being blown off by said ‘friend’, with the genius idea of having me write a script, novel and homebrew. His card is always empty whenever he pays for the next part of the commission because he spends it on $400 sketches and junk food. He refuses to listen when I say he doesn’t need 300+ characters. One of the stories he is plagiarizing is mine. My novel only has 27 characters (including a canine). We will be celebrating the 16 month anniversary of the commission by the time this is posted. He has nine days to finish the characters before I cancel. I’d rather live in my car again. Two hours ago he LITERALLY just made a FULL bio (in the description) with five full body outfits for a character that was deleted. He spent a month adding a shine texture to an npc's tiddies.
After making me wait for 16 months, he has the AUDACITY to get angry at me when I was offline for an emergency and I could only make one of our two commission vcs. Now he’s using the deaths of friend(s) caused by recent global tensions to ADD more characters. Why do you NEED to keep your brother’s ocs? To kill them? Delete them! This psycho has a history of making fictional versions of people who he perceives as having wronged him to kill and/or torture them graphically. Do you really need an entire MONTH? You won’t recycle two characters (that don’t belong to your brother) to fit VITAL roles but you proceed to make two random characters FROM SCRATCH that have nothing to do with those roles. Or last month I asked him for a list of 8 damage modifiers (8 digits) he replied in 12 minutes. This task previously took him an ENTIRE month because he was ‘busy’ with maps (in reality he was blowing up on a ‘friend’ who turned down his art commission on Discord and watching videos). This client is too lazy to browse with Google but he deliberately makes changes in complex organization software to disobey me. I am going to die before this torture ends! Would I be the a–hole if I put a stop to this nightmare?
It’s happening! Finished or not, the commission ends on my birthday (May 24). I am sick or getting “Okay.” every time I ask him a question about his commission.
Just when I thought I was in the clear, he drops a D&D manual of dice rolling, resting and training mechanics, skill trees and a point buy system he has NEVER mentioned predating these 16 months; all the way back to when we met (2012). He does this the week that I am “finishing” the commission. Did I mention that he has “accidently” erased the maps through his own bad habits. ARGGHH! He’s got until Monday. I don’t care if he pays me one last time. I can’t live like this.
FREEEEEEEEEEEDOM! After 16 months and two weeks.
Since I had writer’s block and another traditional art friend was suffering from art block we decided to remake some of each other's characters in our styles. The subject of this post got excited to join us. What kind of a--holes would we be if we gate kept something this trivial? I remade nine of the subject of this post's characters in my style (in two days). We both use the same program for the same amount of years, but we have developed wildly different styles. Will I ever learn? He spent the whole stream telling me their sweaters were wrong, he disliked the ribbon in one of the girl’s hair because it was too big, asking why do all of the girls have the same stockings (while wearing school uniforms) and why they do not have the exact same skin tones (despite me using the eyedroppecolour picker to show him the neon colours (one background character has eight colours in their hair) he chose in his style does not work with my duller, minimalist palette. Did you ask for me to copy your style or use my own style? After they were done, he listed all of his (multiple) issues with them like nine college essays. I can take criticism, but I had to force one compliment (one word per character) out of him. His criticisms regarded me adapting elements from the references that HE sent me. 90% was negative and 10% positive. Naturally the subject of this post still has not even thought about which character of mine he'd like to remake, but even professionals cannot unravel the web of things this person has done to avoid me even in situations when I am the center of the conversation/activity. I was unsure where to post this since this rant is a bit of most subreddits that I enjoy. Thank you for reading! I have mountains of experiences to share from freelancing and I will have many more in the future.

I recently had a dramatic event and had several panic attacks. I'm 45 and have missed my last few periods. haven't been on the pill since my early 20's and wanted to do perimenopause naturally. After this event, I had some brown sluffing for a week and then had a semi normal period. Now it's close to 3 weeks and continue to have red spotting. I talked to my doctor and she put me on the low dose pill. I woke up today and it was so much better. Then tonight came and I'm back to red spotting. How long does the pill start working to make it completely go away? Thank you for any help. I deal with extreme anxiety and I feel like once I calm down, the quicker this will go away.

I'm currently working at a brand new restaurant that is using toast.
During shift review, the POS gives servebartenders the option to pay some/all of their Cash Sales via their non-cash tips. Management would really like for it to stay this way, but they are struggling to find a report that clearly states how much cash they should have in hand at end of day.
For example:
Server makes 200 in non-cash tips. Server has 150 in cash sales owed to house. Toast allows for that server to only collect 50 in non-cash tips; meaning $150 in cash sales has now been paid to the house, but it is not physically in hand.
On the Z Report; in the "Server Tipouts" section, the "Non-Cash Tips" does not reflect the correct amount of cash sales paid via non-cash tips, leaving us with no way to know how much cash we should expect in hand.
Does anyone know of a report, or how to edit a report, that can be run to reflect Total Cash Sales - Non-Cash Tips Paid toward cash sales = Total Cash in hand??
We're currently doing this manually but it is ridiculously time consuming.

I have a MacBook Pro, iPhone 15, AirPods Pro 2, Apple Watch and an iPad. I actually love all of these products except for my iPhone. Specifically the typing experience. I have been using an android phone since I ditched the iPhone 5s 10 years or so ago.
The android keyboard makes so much more sense and is exceptionally functional and rich with practical features that are so handy.
The most irritating thing about the ios keyboard is how often I hear “you’ll get used to it” from others who use the iPhone. I’ve heard that from Apple tech support and other dumb Apple fan folks who got an iPhone for flaunt value.
I specifically got the iPhone because of my MacBook and Apple Watch. I just wanted to have a more seamless integration with the MacBook and watch.
But everyday I have to fight against this sh*tty keyboard as it automatically uncorrects my texts, I have to go into submenus just to add a period or @ on an email field. And I suddenly find that the return button is replaced with # at certain layers of the keyboard. And why tf can’t I have a dedicated number row and why must I sacrifice the suggestions row if I install a third party keyboard with dedicated number row?
I’ve watched the keyboard shortcut tutorials and I use the double space to add a period but, what about a comma?
I’m tired of apple fans telling me that Apple is about simplicity and that I just don’t get it. Simplicity in looks and complicated usage doesn’t particularly count as simplicity imo. I find the android keyboard a lot more intimidating to look at, at first glance but it just makes typing a lot simpler. It automatically gives me the last few items that were copied to the clipboard. And when I copy a whole lot of text it shows me the links within the text and the numbers separately in the suggestion box as I go to paste it somewhere. This way if I copy an SMS with an otp code it automatically lets me paste just the otp instead of me having to paste the whole thing and then manually delete the remaining stuff. On ios I can’t even find a “select all” option on large pieces of text. For example if I have to select this whole post as I’m typing it here I have to manually move the starting and end points of the selection to fill the entire page. What if I have a 40 page document that I must copy the text of?
And why is it impossible to get a third party app that circumvents all this nonsense? Even the google keyboard on iOS is severely restricted.
I sometimes wonder if Apple has a highly paid dedicated team specifically tasked with making the ios keyboard as sh*tty as it is. Because a trillion dollar company cannot make a software product this stupid and dysfunctional if it isn’t deliberately trying to do just that.
Please tell me I’m not alone in being this frustrated with the typing experience on the iPhone. If you believe there is nothing wrong with the ios keyboard also let me know if you’ve never used an android keyboard.
I want to know if I’m missing something or if it really is as sh*tty for everyone else and we are all pretending it’s ok.
Important questions:-

1. Am I alone in finding the ios typing experience this frustrating?
   
2. If you felt this way and did something that changes it, what did you do to improve it? (Other than getting used to it)
   

so i'm working on a story with a power system the idea is around win cons and the way to win a battle there are 7-8 different classes 1- Stunners : they win by a set of rules that result in you being stunned unable to do anything they usually have no advantage until they meet their conditions then they instantly win for example : someone with an illusion ability when he is able to touch you and declare to you that after 30 minutes you will enter an illusion after 30 minutes you will enter an illusion indeed unless you could touch him back personality trait : stunners are usually tricksters 2-Collectors : they win by collecting enough material or data to get to their goals their advantage is usually based around how much they have collected for example : someone with an ability to study any object and when he collects enough data he can create an anti-object to what he studied if he gets the object to meet his anti-object the object will decay personality trait : collectors are usually patient 3- Territorials : they win based on the area they are in and/or affecting the area around them they can make an area that belong to them where they have advantage in it their advantage is high when you are in their area and 0 when you are out of it for example : a water based ability when there is water around , you will be strong , when there is none , you will be useless you can affect the area around you and create water in it for once and on a specific range but you can do this once per day for example personality trait : Territorials are usually at their best in one area or one thing they can do really well
there are still like 4-5 classes if you were curious about the rest let me know now that being said there is an ability that i don't know how to class it in the story the wielder of this ability is not a main character but he is pretty important his ability is that for anyone that talks to him he gets dialogue options that increase the probability of several outcomes he manipulates those around him by this ability choosing the outcome that he wants but his ability has so much limitations like for example if someone is so set on doing something almost all of the dialog options will result in the same outcome also if someone else talks to the someone, the outcome could change so it's more like he gets hints on what will happen based on what he says to others but this ability does not fit in any class so if you understood the tone of the story please help me create a suited class for this ability ( like people who control the outcomes class ? ) and let me know if you have any suggestions or ways to improve my power system

I don’t know what’s wrong with me but I have a really hard time making female friends and pretty much always have. Seems like the only people interested in getting to know me is men but I’m happily married and completely uninterested in being friends with men. I can still remember being in Kindergarten and feeling discluded in every female friend group no matter how hard I tried to be friends with them, they didn’t want to be friends with me, and that hasn’t changed much into my adulthood. I’ve had a lot of negative experiences with girls in the past either betraying me, talking sh*t behind my back, or just being passive aggressive with me for no reason. I just dont understand why. I swear i’m such a nice person, to everyone. I try to smile at girls at work, compliment them, strike up a conversation, but it almost seems like they get uncomfortable or intimidated right away and leave and don’t want to talk to me. I just don’t understand what I’m doing wrong or why girls avoid me or dislike me so much. I’m not judgemental, I’m not a gossiper, I’m not a pick me, I don’t want friends for status, I just wish I had 1 or 2 solid girl friends that I could have fun with and have a genuine connection with but ive never had that before and don’t think I ever will. Can anyone else relate?😢

I want buy double minigun on the weaponazed tampa but i have to make research but i dont want to wait. I am buying research how much it costs

I don’t know what’s wrong with me but I have a really hard time making female friends and pretty much always have. Seems like the only people interested in getting to know me is men but I’m happily married and completely uninterested in being friends with men. I can still remember being in Kindergarten and feeling discluded in every female friend group no matter how hard I tried to be friends with them, they didn’t want to be friends with me, and that hasn’t changed much into my adulthood. I’ve had a lot of negative experiences with girls in the past either betraying me, talking sh*t behind my back, or just being passive aggressive with me for no reason. I just dont understand why. I swear i’m such a nice person, to everyone. I try to smile at girls at work, compliment them, strike up a conversation, but it almost seems like they get uncomfortable or intimidated right away and leave and don’t want to talk to me. I just don’t understand what I’m doing wrong or why girls avoid me or dislike me so much. I’m not judgemental, I’m not a gossiper, I’m not a pick me, I don’t want friends for status, I just wish I had 1 or 2 solid girl friends that I could have fun with and have a genuine connection with but ive never had that before and don’t think I ever will. Can anyone else relate?😢