I've been working on this story for... 3 months? 4? who knows, with my ability to keep track of time I could have started this yesterday, anyway, this is a story that has sci-fi elements, and some fantasy, although the fantasy stuff is mainly dragons so lets say adventure for now, (cause I don't know shit about genres, I just wrote the story) , Keep in mind, this has been written in free time, of which I don't have a lot, so if you don't like the story it is probably my fault, here is a look at:

Dragons wing

I slowly drift from my sleep and think to myself, ow, why is everything warm? I check the thermostat and see that it is at a temperature as cool as Canada and when I turn back to go back to bed so that I can sleep in, I see that my stuff has been knocked over? Oh sorry, where are my manners? I'm James O’Maley, I put everything back into place, and lay down on my bed but nothing is comfortable! I just decide, you know what, whatever, I’m just gonna get ready for work, and with that i get dressed, everything feels harder to put on, but it really hits me when I go to brush my teeth, when I looked into the mirror, I saw that their were, wings on my back, and a tail, growing out my butt like a lizard, I obviously spend several minutes having an existential crisis about this shocking revelation, and I decide to look at what these wings can do, I open a window, crawl out, with some difficulty and some slamming the window on my tail. I go to the edge of the fire escape railing, hop on, and jump, and I flew, higher and higher, until i nearly flew into a mountain but that's when I suddenly breathed fire, from my mouth, and bore a hole straight through the cliffside, I could spend all day flying, breathing fire, and fiddling with my tail, but I began to feel as tired as if I’d just gotten back from lifting weights with tigers, I landed on a cliffside and fell asleep. When I woke up I wasn’t on the cliffside anymore, there were monitors and scientists all around me. I tried to show some sign that I was awake, but I was chained up! I spent several moments struggling to get free, I must be free, I am not something they can chain down! I struggle, I roar, I attempt to move my head enough to burn the surrounding area, but I can’t, until someone finally talks to me,
“Hello there, James, please forgive us for our caution, but with your kind we can never be too careful.” I can see the scientist, I read his name tag, Dr. Crane William, I roar out
“My kind!? Get me out of these chains!” I breathe fire, claw, kick and swing my tail, trying to free myself, until I see two other people watching, one with weird whiskers, a long tail and a smug look on his face, and the other with a similar appearance to me but her wings are her arms. The next few days go by, until the two finally decide to talk to me, and in those days, My face becomes a snout like a komodo dragon’s, the one with the whiskers opens his mouth first and I already hate him
“Would you look at that, he’s even uglier up close!” I glare at him with absolute hatred, that seems to anger him more,
“What are you mute or something? Speak before I tear you apart!” he takes one step closer and that's all I need, I Bite his shoulder and use his head to break the chains on my right arm, I continue to break the rest of them with ease, and tell whiskers
“You want to fight? Let’s fight!” I leap on top of him, clawing at his face, he tries to slash me with a blade on his tail but I grab it and stab the wall with it, until I feel a burning sensation in my veins, The girl had bitten me! She looks at me with sadness,
“Sorry about this,” I look at her and drift into unconsciousness, when I wake up next I’m in some kind of, medical wing, ha, wing, as I look around I feel that my mouth is bound shut, but other than that, I can move my body, I get up off the gurney and just when I think it looks nice, whiskers shows his face,
“Well thanks a lot freak, now I’m on probation with Dr. Crane.” I motion to my mouth and he seems to have enough brain cells to understand what I mean
“Ha! You got the boot, Lily had that on her when she wouldn’t stop biting staff, I’m Ryan Mist.” I just walk away and try getting this muzzle off, That's when Crane walks in,
“Well, I must say it has been a while since we’ve had to use the boot, Ryan, your behavior was unacceptable!” I can tell that Crane is annoyed, and right as he finishes his sentence, click, the boot falls off my face and clatters to the ground. I don’t bother trying to fight Ryan again, I’m just happy to be able to talk!
“Well that’s a lot better, now, talk, I want answers.” I growl, Crane and Ryan seem surprised that I got the boot off but they talk, turns out, I’m what’s called a dragonkin a Human who has dragon genes in their genome, Lily and Ryan are also dragonkin, although they can’t breath fire, Lily has fangs and a venomous bite, turns out she’s the girl that bit me, and Ryan just looks weird, apparently we are the only dragonkin who evaded the organization that Crane works for, Called ‘Kadmus,’ into adulthood, Lily being found at 22, ryan at 20, and me at 24, on top of that, we are the only dragonkin who have survived that long, it’s at that moment that I notice Lily looking at us from behind some glass, I decide that I’ve heard enough and open the door, and I leave the room.
As I leave the room I can tell that Lily was not expecting me from the look on her face, I start a conversation with her, trying desperately to be friendly and not notice all the scientists glancing at me nervously.
“Hey, Lily, Right?” I say in the friendliest tone I can, “I’m James.” Lily looks at me with a calculating look before answering
“Hello, yeah my name is Lily, Lily Megan.” she clearly is wary of me, but I can tell a few things about her, making herself look small, clearly smarter than she lets on, seems shy,
“How did you get it off?” Lily breaks into my train of thought with the question,
“What?” I ask her, confused,
“The Boot, how did you get it off?” She gestures to the room where Crane and Ryan were having an argument, but more specifically to The Boot, laying on the ground
“Oh that? I once took a lockpicking class when I was younger.” I explain
“Huh, you mind teaching me that sometime?” She catches me off guard with that one, I can tell that she is being genuine so I agree, And we begin working out what time works best.

The next few weeks go by in a flash, but I’ll summarize it for you, I ended up getting my own room like Ryan and Lily, I start teaching Lily how to pick locks, and we end up having a few game nights where we played games like charades, poker, even monopoly, lets just say that we will never play monopoly again. However, the most important thing of all, we ended up finding another dragonkin! We aren’t sure what dragon ancestor he has, but we think he’s another eastern long tail, like Ryan, the new guy’s name is Dillian, He’s great, absolute goofball, he’s from Australia, and according to him, his family has never been anywhere but the land down under, weird, but the guy’s like a little brother to me, so it’s cool, and that catches you up. “Hey Dillian!” I lean my head into his room, “Wanna come hang out with the rest of us? It’s movie night!” Dillian just looks at me, unreadable, 

“Okay, your loss.” I try to hide how unnerving that look felt, but something doesn’t feel right. I go back to the lounge, where Ryan, Lily, and Crane are all waiting for me,
“Sorry guys, Dillian, isn’t up for it.” Lily looks at me disappointed,
“Aw man, and we're even watching Dune!” I just look at her with a sad look, but Ryan manages to lift the mood a little bit,
“Last time we let Crane pick the movie!” Crane just glares at Ryan, I can tell he’s about to lecture him so I just start the movie, around one hour in, boom, everything is blurry, and there is dust swirling, everything hurts. I see Lily and Ryan helping evacuate the scientists, I don’t see Crane anywhere! But that's when I see it, Cranes lab coat, soaked red and underneath a piece of rubble, I try to run towards it, but I can't stay on my legs, I call out,
“CRANE!” My friends hear me, they rush towards me and they see the lab coat, Lily tears up, Ryan is too stunned to speak, then we hear it, we hear him. Dillian, he’s laughing, laughing at the lab coat, laughing at us, My head snaps toward him, I feel the rage burning, my wings flare out, fire rises in my throat, I grab Dillian by the collar, and I roar,
“Do you think this is funny?!” Dillian just keeps laughing, “Crane is deadI!” Dillian looks at me, and he finally stops laughing, he pushes me off and spikes erupt from his skin, his tail wraps around my throat, and he growls,
“Don’t touch me you cretin, my ancestors were nearly wiped out by yours, I’m just returning the favor.” I look at him confused, Ryan seems to have been just as confused as me because he asked,
“What do you mean? The Eastern long tails have never had an issue with the Flying flame drakes.” Dillian just flicked his wrist and one of the spines shot out and nearly sliced Ryan’s head off!
“Do not compare the Wyrms to those foolish sky beasts! They have ruled the land for centuries!” Dillian roars, at this point I finally manage to choke out,
“Wyrm? Like the dragon inside the mountain Wyrm?” I struggle against his tail, I finally get a claw hooked under it and pull, it takes all of my strength to get my head loose and retreat, and then I see Dillian fully for the first time, pale skin covered in red spines and a long tail that could probably crush a normal humans windpipe, if I wasn’t a dragonkin I’d be dead.
“So, you do have a brain. Indeed, my ancestors were the Wyrms, Masters of the land, and the only dragons to be nearly forgotten by time, if it weren’t for the colony under Australia, I would not be a dragonkin.” Dillian snorts, and after saying his piece he leaped up, dived down, and bore through the earth, I try to go after him, but Lily holds me back,
“James you're hurt, and you would not stand a chance against him in your current state!” I hate to admit it, but it’s true, I would not stand a chance against Dillian, oh man, my leg hurts, I look at my left leg and I see that it has a shard of metal sticking out of it, and then everything feels heavy, I hear Lily yell out my name, but she sounds so far away, I don’t try and fight it, I just let the darkness envelope me, at least in the dark I can’t hurt, when I wake up I’m in the medical wing ha, it’s still funny, I have a bandage around my leg and then it all rushes back to me, Crane’s lab coat, Dillian laughing, the rage, everything, replaying over and over in my mind, I immediately try and stand up and I find a lot of difficulty in that, but I manage to stumble off the bed, I avoid putting weight on my leg, and I use my wings when necessary,
‘Well it’s about time you woke up, and here I was thinking that we had wasted time and resources.” I spin around to see a lady in a suit and glasses looking at me with a look of disdain,
“Hello, I am Dr. Leanne Vern, but you can call me Leanne. I am your new head researcher, I hope you are ready for your next few tests, Dr. Crane wasted a lot of time ‘bonding’ with you.” It’s right as she finishes that sentence when I feel the urge to make it her last, I feel rage burning under my skin and I glare at her with every last ounce of anger possible,
“What.” Either she didn’t get the memo or she is just a jerk, because she did not care, but either way I continued,
“Do you think that now is a good time to either ridicule Crane, or tell me that you need to run tests on me? I am not your lab rat” I grab her collar “I am not something you just get to boss around, If you say something like that again I will send you straight to the underworld where you belong.” I shove her back and go look for Lily and Ryan, I find them in the cafeteria, I get some food and sit down across from them,
“Mind if I sit here?” It clearly lightened the mood, but not even Ryan found the humor to reply, but we started to talk turns out I had been knocked out for two weeks, when I asked about Dillian Ryan tensed up, he explained to me that Dillian goes by ‘Death Wyrm’ now, he’s spent the last two weeks tormenting the city, and eventually I brought up Leanne,
“That Dr. Leanne is a jerk though, when I got out of the medical wing she just introduced herself, told me that she would run some tests and insulted Crane.” Lily seemed to agree because she replied,
“Yeah the first day she got here she told me I was ugly, and had me escorted into the testing chamber and forced me to fly for as long as I could or else I would get shocked.” Upon hearing this I feel rage flare up inside me, I flare out my wings and fly straight towards Leanne's office,
“You threatened Lily with being shocked?! What is wrong with you?” Leanne just looked at me stone faced and told me,
“You dragonkin are nothing but freaks that look interesting, you should not be treated like humans, you are tools.” I just stand there, shocked until the dam just breaks, I roared, I grabbed her by the collar and I slash her face with a claw,
“Tools? TOOLS?! The only tool in here is you! First you insult Crane, someone who died only two weeks ago! Then I learned you threatened one of my friends with a shock if they stopped playing your sick little game!” I feel the fire rise in my throat, I open my mouth, but then I see the look in her eyes, fear, absolute, paralyzing fear, I hesitate, and think to myself, oh my god, what am I doing? I release Leanne and walk out of the room, as I’m leaving I hear Leanne bellow from behind me,
“Where do you think you’re going?” I glare back, I don’t need to answer her, but because I know she will hurt my friends if I don’t I tell her what I’m doing, I explain.
“I’m going after Dillian, don’t try to stop me.” I can tell that Leanne is angry, I can feel her eyes shooting daggers at me, she clearly disagrees with me,
“Oh no you don’t, listen to me you bloated gecko, we did not spend millions tracking you down for you to play superhero!” I just walk away from her and go to the cafeteria to tell Lily and Ryan, they of course freak out at me, saying that I should not go after Dillian, that he’d kill me, and that I should stay here, but I look at them with all of the emotion in the world, I tell them
“Look, I know that Dillian would probably kill me, but I at least might tire him out enough for the police or military to stop him, but it’s more than that, I can’t let him hurt innocent people.” Lily and Ryan look at me, Lily hugs me, and tells me,
“Don’t you dare die or I will kill you.” I look at her, And I say to Ryan,
“I hope she’s joking.” Ryan looks at me and punches my arm,
“You are a good friend man, I hope you live through this.” I look at Ryan and Lily, knowing that this might be the last time I see them, I hug them both, and I flare out my wings and I fly off.

As I sped off towards Dillian, no, Death Wyrm, he stopped being Dillian when he killed Dr. Crane, one thought was going through my mind, am I going to survive this? It doesn’t really matter, as long as Death Wyrm gets what he deserves, when I arrive in the city I look around from above first, I decide to stop by my old apartment, I remember when My dad helped me find this place before he died, it has looked weird since I had my stuff moved into my room at the Kadmus site, I decide to sit down on the floor, when all of a sudden I hear a click and a secret safe opens from the wall. Inside I find a video message to me from my dad, along with an envelope, with the words for when I’m gone written on it, I look through the envelope and I find an old Kadmus keycard for my dad, so that's what his work was, I knew he was secretive but damn, A few other papers that talk about dragons, turns out, Kadmus had been looking into the dragons for years, although these papers are odd, as if my dad had prior knowledge of the dragons. The ball drops when I play the video message it says, 

>Hello, James, if you are watching this then I’m probably dead. In the envelope that you have found alongside this message, there is also my old keycard, it will give you full access to any Kadmus site. Along with my personal notes on the Flying flame drakes, the Eastern long tails, the Wyverns, and some vague knowledge of a supposed fourth dragon species, including some vague diet, and possible weaknesses, but if you’ve already read them, then that means you have seen that the Flying flame drake notes are more definitive, that’s because I am also a dragonkin, I only inherited physical strength from our ancestors, but I have a feeling you will have more characteristics, but I am saying this because you need to know the history behind our ancestors, and the rest.<
I look at the message and wait for it to continue, until a small piece of paper slips out of the metal box that is the message, when I open it I find out that in the beginning of the dragons, there were supposedly four species, the Flying flame drakes, the Eastern long tails, the Wyverns, and the Wyrms, until the Wyrms struck out, they had felt as though due to there inability to fly, that the other dragons thought less of them, the dragons were forced to lock away the Wyrms deep beneath what would one day be called Australia, and then man arose, and along with them the first dragonkin, Tiamat, a Flying flame dragonkin, as my dad called him, but the humans lived in fear of the dragons, eventually driving them to the bleeding cut edge of extinction using their advancing technology, eventually humans all but forgot about dragons, reducing them to myth or fairy tales. That was more or less all that was written, I committed all of this knowledge to memory, and then I heard a loud boom and some maniacal Dr. Doom esc laughing, I peer out of the window to see Death Wyrm, tormenting people, I leap out of the window and into the air, getting a good angle before dive bombing Death Wyrm, breathing fire on him and slashing him with my claws,
“Hey Dillian, did you miss me?” I laugh, I tried to pull a Ryan and joke myself into feeling confident, and it kinda helped, Death Wyrm roars out in rage,
“Why didn’t you stay out of my way?” He whips his tail up, shooting spines out at me, although thanks to my practice I manage to dodge them, I decide to not make a joke and just stay quiet for now, I remember something a security guard once told me, if the enemy is in range so are you, don’t just talk, actually attack, I know that I am in range for a fireblast but Dillian doesn’t know that, I shout out,
“Those spines must really hurt, but not as much as my claws!” I suddenly make a sharp turn and get in close with my talons, I first duck beneath Death Wyrms hook, and slash at his stomach, I then dodge a spine shot, and quickly follow up and through with a tail whip, knocking him off balance, then quickly blast fire right at his feet, but I didn’t see that Death Wyrms tail had grabbed my leg before it had already thrown me two blocks away, I was getting up when I felt a Burning pain in my arm, when I looked to see, it was one of Death Wyrms spines, It had only penetrated the outermost muscle tissue, I would heal in a few weeks but that doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt like hades, I rip the spine out and breath fire on the wound in order to cauterize it, when I suddenly feel Death Wyrms tail around my throat, choking me, and I am all of a sudden pinned to a wall, with my mouth bound shut, great it’s the boot all over again, I see Death Wyrm, he’s grabbing the spine I ripped out, he walks towards me, and he gives me a small speech,
“You know James, if you weren’t so noble I’d actually have let you join me, I never wanted to kill you, but you leave me no choice.” He lifts the spike up, when all of a sudden he is blasted back seemingly by a freakishly strong gust of wind, wait, that's a thermal updraft, I turn to see the best sight I could have seen, Ryan and Lily! Ryan opens his mouth first and I couldn’t be more thankful for his humor,
“Nobody treats James like that but me!” He then flies into battle riding on a thermal, while Lily freed me, she slices through the binding on my mouth and I immediately ask,
“What are you guys doing here?” Lily opens her mouth to answer but Ryan cuts in with being thrown into a wall
“Me and Lily are saving you, idiot, speaking of which a little help here?” Me and Lilly help Ryan up and we all get ready for a fight, but before we can charge in, Lily hands me a headmic,
“Here put this on,” I do as she says and suddenly Leanne's voice buzzes in through the speaker,
“Well it’s about time,” I am just happy to have some help with knowing my surroundings,
“Whatever happened to ‘we didn’t spend millions tracking you for you to play superhero?’” If Leanne heard me she didn’t answer, I just started to run towards Death Wyrm, before I took off alongside Lily and Ryan, I felt a familiar rage build up in my veins, I allow the rage to drive me forward, I feel the heat, the fire, rushing to every vein in my body, building along with all of the rage in my life, I gather my thoughts, a raging body is good for combat but a raging mind is bad for victory, when this feeling washes over me, I finally feel calm, I feel at peace, I never want this feeling to end, I open my snout, and unleash a twisting, flowing, blooming tunnel of flames,wounding Death Wyrm and distracting him long enough for Ryan to swing in with a bladed tail to his back, followed by Lily, biting into Death wyrms tail, as Death Wyrm roars I dive in and I do something unexpected, I talk to him,
“Dillian, I thought of you as a little brother, but you killed someone I cared about, I am sorry but, we need to take you in.” Death Wyrm roars, he writhes, up until Lily’s venom takes hold and he falls to the ground, defeated, a news reporter had been, well reporting, nearby and walked up to me, and asked me for an interview,
“Under normal circumstances I would agree, but not right now.” I wave as I signal to Ryan, it takes an embarrassingly long time for him to get the hint that I want him to create a thermal under Death Wyrm in order to transport him, but he follows my lead, and before we know it, we are flying toward the Kadmus site, but as we fly, I yell behind me,
“Hey, go ahead, I’ll… I’ll catch up.” Lily looks at me while Ryan just zooms ahead, no questions asked,
“Okay what are you doing?” I just look at her, feeling conflicted about telling her about my dad, for all I know this could get me in trouble, or worse, I make a split second decision,
“I… I think I saw something.” surprisingly it works, I swoop back towards the city and back to my old apartment and I grab the message from my dad, his keycard and the papers, I then fly off with them clenched between my arms and my body, I then fly into the Kadmus site, and discreetly go to my room, in order to hide them, I then get out of the site, and fly back into it acting like nothing happened, and to my surprise, there was a celebration waiting for me, there was cake, and wine, and even a nice Irish whiskey, eventually I asked about Death Wyrm, and turns out he was placed in a secure facility, deep under the site, and that anyone with high enough clearance could go down there, I decide that that is probably for the best.
After the celebration, I go into my room, and pull out the message, I look over it, Dad was a big fan of puzzles, so maybe this message is a puzzle? After several minutes fiddling with it, the message began to whir, and it then showed a place for a fingerprint, gotcha, I placed my thumb on the finger print and it pricked me, like I was getting my blood drawn. After that a key fell out of the message box, and a keyhole on the side, I of course used the key, which then played a different message,

Hello James, and I know it's you who will be watching this, at the time of making this message I am about to help you “find” an apartment, this is one that will only play for other people if you give them access and get a blood sample, the key you used is a one of a kind, and allows you full access to pre-recorded messages, and answers for certain questions, I hope that there will come a time when you don’t need it, but, knowing you, you will probably forget what the messages say within an hour, but anyway, I hope that this helps you greatly, here is a list of topics that the message box can give you data on.< The video then becomes like an interactable encyclopedia, where I can read the list at my own pace, I skim through it before my eyes lock on one entry, Dr. Crane Williams, I open the entry and i read about Crane, turns out, he was my fathers research partner and close friend, and the two of them met in college because they had managed to win a competition that landed them tuition for any college of their choosing, and they became friends after my dad stopped somebody from messing with Crane, there was a whole lot more there about Cranes upbringing, his family, his education, but I had to cut it short when Leanne entered my room, unannounced,

“What are you doing?” She glared, in her usual condescending tone, I am not in the mood for this “Jump off a cliff.” I growl, as I tuck the message away, but she sees it, and by the look on her face she could tell what I was looking at, “Let me guess, a message you don’t want anybody seeing?” I hate her but damn it she can connect the dots well, “Was it obvious?” I don’t bother denying it, she’ll just be a jerk about it, “No, I’m just used to being lied to, who's the message from?” Leanne nods at the message box, 

“It’s from my dad, he apparently worked at Kadmus and was friends with Crane.” The fact that my dad both worked ant Kadmus and was friends with crane seem to shock her, what’s really shocking though is what she asks next,

“Was your dad by chance Shane O’Maley?” I look at her, confused, “He was, why?” Leanne immediately seems to get shell shock, as she starts to geek out, “James your father was pretty much science royalty, I would have done anything to speak to him, oh my god I insulted the dead friend of Shane O’Maley, and of his son!” I feel angry that she brought that up again, but now feels like I can get something good out of this, “Ok I’ll make you a deal, if you only do tests with me and the other dragonkin willing to do so, and make sure not to do things like threatening to shock us if we don’t do what you want, I’ll tell you stories about my dad, deal?” It was almost impressive how quickly she answered, 

“Deal! Shock threats, exhaustion tests, and anything else like that is gone!” I am really happy that I can do stuff like that. That is the best ability ever.*1
*1 WIP

Keep in mind, this is primarily from 2022, just touches on some 2020/21 and current date. Ages not shared bc idk if I want to share them yet (with exceptions)
Also, this is an Alt acc since much of my family has reddit
I, currently 15, at the time 12, used to have a VERY strong relationship with my grandma. We hung out as if we were BFF's and our emotional connection was very strong. This was mostly because my mom and step mom was busy a lot, and I only go to my dads house every once in a while.
To give some background, 2020 to 2021 my parents and just family in general wasnt doing the best. We had 2 family members, including my grandpa pass away, 1 pet pass away, my parents were having issues due to one thinking the other was cheating (Idk all details and not my thing to share, relationship still stands today without that relationship issue sooo), my grandma broke her back, and probably more things I dont remember.
Anyways, this takes place after my grandma's recovery, grandpa's celebration of life, a bunch of legal stuff, etc. In the start of 2022, my parents were still having relationship issues, very badly. So much to the point that my mom talked to me about what would happen if my step mom decided to leave. I have an open relationship with my step mom and mom, and my step mom has been apart of most my life so she would likely not just leave entirely, but obviously things would change.
During this time though, my brother was lying a bunch. Every child has a point they lie a lot and need to be gone senseless so they stop, I jusy had mine at a Muuuuch younger age so it was quicker and less important stuff. In this case my brother stole a very important heirloom from my grandma that used to be my grandpas. He lied a lot about it from where he got it, to what it was. Now, why is this important? Some of the responses that was given by my parents, this includes my mom, step mom, and dad of things like: my brother will be sent to Juvy, or threatening putting up for adoption, or calling police for theft because the item was REALLY expensive.
Now I think that was overboard even now looking at it. Like the way they said it, you could tell they were just trying to get into my brothers head to not lie, but still, that wasn't morally ok with me then or now. Also, not like they didn't get the item back-.
See, this actually made me want to have time away from the house, so I asked to spend to night with my grandma like I had many times before. Just me, not my brother. While there, I told her what they had said, and even things they had done to me, with to this day i still believe to be mentally abusive, such as calling me things like idiot, stupid, cursing at me about things, yelling about petty things (no joke, they have yelled because there was a single drop of syrup infront of the microwave on the floor not picked up), and more. A lot was without context though or downplaying what I did to make them mad. Note: my parents do realize things here or there and does apologize, and they mean my actions were stupid or idiotic, but doesn't mean they say it at that moment, they correct it later and sometimes dont correct it.
Now a bit more context: when I was a very young kid, the main 3 punishments I got was either Standing in the corner for often hours, standards (writing the same line again and again for blank amoumt kf pages), or spankings (belt or hand to the butt). Now, that sounds bad, especially the spankings, but keep in mind that one parent came from mentally abusing parents, the other came from an abusive family for the most part, and both were grown up being given spankings. They RARELY give spankings, and for that now, I have to royally piss them off. Anyways, those punishments seem to have actually gave me an automatic reaction to freeze when either parent is yelling at me, (trauma, were literally meaning 3 forms of punishment that hurt for at the time about a decade, now over a decade) so I tend to not argue back. Anyways, to the point, I told my grandma about these punishments too.
When I said this all, I asked my grandma to not share it with anyone. Now obviously that didn't happen given that mental abuse isn't ok to any of our family (my parents didnt quite understand that's mental abuse as they had ok'ed it in there mind beforehand with anger)
The issue is she waited till my birthday. See my step mom at the time is the main person I mentioned to my grandma since she and I at the time had a smaller relationship than with my mom since she generally gives punishments and I didnt notice my mom had just as much to do with my punishments as she did. It painted my step mom as a bad guy and my grandma wanted to do something.
So on my birthday, she decided to yell at my step mom (my grandma definitely had a thing to drink that day btw, she was an alcoholic. Also, my step mom rarely sees my grandma, then or now) about how she was treating me. My dad escorted me, my brother, my friend, and any other children in the house to the front porch and gave us a thing to do. I obviously decided to listen in a bit, but best thing I know is my grandma said stuff in a REALLY bad way.
Now, this point of the story, I would say me being an AH is iffy. My issue is even to this day, this one event, along with how my grandma treated my mom growing up a little, and how my grandma defines love as; "you dont love me if you dont help me work on things" (to put simple, my grandma is a functioning alcoholic, and a narcissist) has basically ruined my mom and step moms relationship with my grandma. My grandma actually recently went to the hospital due to falling on the blacktop of her street and I cant help but feel my mom not going to the hospital and staying home is my fault. (Its serious enough she is having surgery) My mom did still go out and help her get stuff to go to the hospital, but then came back, and when she got back my step mom said she was proud of my mom for now feeling the need to stay. I know there is more to the story that I don't know but the previous time when she broke her back, before I mentioned things to my grandma, that once it got to my parents made them purposefully distance themselfs, me, and my brother from our grandma, mom literally stayed for a few nights, she even had my grandma move in to our house till she recovered. Yet now she doesn't even go up to the hospital for any reason other than my great grandma wants to go and see her.
If you want more details as I probably forgot some, please ask. I will likely do follow ups and more stuff as this is only one piece of issues in my family. But I still want to know positive, negative, and neutral reply's. AITA

MY COLLAGE FRIEND

hey there let's go for a erotic story

I mean this will be the best story you had ever listened, so first of all my name is Joe
so it all started when I was around 17 I had addicted to porn. i mean i started watching porn everyday and then masturbate, but then due to some self belief and internal feelings I left it as you know I got motivated from YouTube and successfully get rid from masturbation, it was a miracle for me.
afterwards when I turn 18 I got admission into a collage and decided to stay in the hostel after all. there I found that there were separate hostels for girls and boys and hence I had hoped for making a female friend who can talk with me and we both play and study together.
after a year I found that I had got many friends and somewhat female friends too. in there one girl named Lily. she was a attractive girl if I explain her body then she was petite meaning she was skinny and also with blonde hairs and she wears metal silver frame glasses, I mean I was like I love her, I don't know whether I can make her my friend or not but I thought I should give it a try.
after another year passed and I had successfully made her my friend, I know you are curious about how does this happen, talking about how does this happen I had tried to talk with her whenever I got chance and I think that she had also understanded me that I wanted to be her friend and so then she come by herself to make a good friendship, I was happy no happiest I can't explain how I feel, she was so kind and full of good humour
after collage last day I was like a best friend of her in male section as I always talk with her and crack jokes and fun, and she also seem to like it.
so after collage I invited her to be my guest in my house, my parents will definitely love it, by this she had first denied it for she thought that this is a fast decision but after my several requests she finally accept it, I feel a lot good inside.
so we came home my parents were happy to see me as I had come hack home after half year as collage have vacations on every 6 months and I came to spend my time with my parents, I introduces lily and made her to stay with my room.
yes of course I had taken her permission as if she feels uncomfortable in my room she can head to my room and I will sleep in living room. but she said that she is comfortable in there.
then at night she wearied her night dress it was kind of a very short cloth heading to her chest to below of her panties, I feel something but I think that she is my friend and then she and I went for sleep, as we had shifted to my new home my parents had a new double bed and the old double bad had given to me and it was in a good condition, so lily slept besides me.
when we are sleeping she was watching her phone and I acted as I was asleep but when I moved to her direction she took her phone away, I thought she is hiding something from me I pretended to be slept, she still had taken her phone away from my eyes as I think she was making it sure I don't watch her phone, I pretended to be in sleep after around 15 to 20 minutes. lily thought that now I am in a deep sleep she took her phone and I shocked she was watching porn, and as I see her another hand I found that she is trying to masturbate, I think I should have taken her chance and found to be done for it.
next day I wake up early and head to medical store to buy condom and then make it hide into my secret drawer in my room and then I spend my rest of the day enjoying with me parents and my friend lily.
now as we had dinner and watched tv, we finally gone for sleep and it was her last night for my house as she also wanted to go to her parents house to met them and to spend time with them.
then I asked what she was hiding from me, she said nothing interesting, I told her what I had seen, she blushed and said you finally got it huh I am feeling shy don't discuss about it huh
I took out my condom packet and shown to her, she said what are you thinking about it , she was like she wanted to do this with me from very past. I said yes and then I gone to bathroom and watched tutorial for how to wear it as I had never seen a condom I had just known that it avoids pregnancy and safe for mating, I wearied it and first came to lily with my shirt removed already, she said come on it is so fast.
I kissed her again do the same and like doing it for around 2 to 3 minutes, I took my hands and take it into her chest I found out that she had wearied a pink bra, she was like oh what you are going, I rapidly took my hand inside the bra and touched her boob and it was so soft and small and one more thing that I love small boobs girl, she had a small nipple which I just touched and rubbed softly and squeeze her boobs gently, after that I removed her single cloth I found that she had wearied pink bra and panties, I removed her bra while hugging, she was saying stop! stop! also she was smiling it meaning she wanted to do this but this is giving her some nice feeling.
after I came down the bed and make lily sit on a stool and then I set between her legs and then I sided her pink panties to left with my left arm, it was my first time watching pussy in real life, I had just watched it in porn videos, it was a clear white pussy that has no hairs meaning she had shaved pussy and it was very pleasureful , I took out her panties from her legs she had closed her legs so that I could not give a look at it, a opened her legs with my hands and it barely opened , when it opened I quickly get a look it was so nice with a soft vibrant pinkish colour and more beautiful as it is shaved I touched the top of its entrance and then the bottom and touched and rubbed it gently for some time, she again started to close her legs I quickly opened her legs more and just give a kiss to her pussy, she give a sound oh, then I quickly sound that it isn't smelly found that she keep her pussy so cleaned
I quickly touched my tongue on her pussy, she vibrated and then I started to move my tongue and she feel a lot tickled and vibrating more as it was her first time too, I touched her boobs and licked her pussy , her whole pussy was vibrating and she was feeling good
then I make her sleep in bed I slept onto her and kissed her still for a bit , then I moved down and put my face between her boobs and touched them both with my hands and then licked them too, then I again moved down and just kissed her belly it was so slim and good, I again moved below and kissed the upper part of the pussy where her panties lies and moved my lips gently down and finally reached to her pussy, I then started to put my finger into her pussy and she was telling no don't do it in a funny way, I moved it inside slowly I had a smooth entry and after letting my finger in and out from her pussy 2 to 3 times I found her pussy started to produce lubricant meaning she wanted to do it too mentally, I increased my fingering speed , and she was producing sounds like oh, uh,. then I gently licked it and touched all her body parts, then I opened me pants and put my cock into her pussy I had slowed it to much as I don't know whether I or she does feel pain she stopped smiling and when I injected my cock further she started telling that it is burning a bit but it is acceptable she said, as soon as I put my cock in it to get lubricated, and to get it much smoother I put my saliva in there too then it got smooth and she said that she is feeling some strange as something is going inside her and coming out she said that I should put it more further so it get more comfortable, I put my cock further and also fasted the speed, she shouted oh , I tell her to make low noise as her parents would know about this, I change her position and again started putting it again and like this I don't it for half a hour and it was midnight and finally she got satisfied but I do not so I keep it on more, she stopped feeling horny as she got satisfied but I know that I should do same for myself too, she said to stop as she is not liking it any more and she produced more sounds as she started feeling little pain, I do in and out more fast and she started producing high sound too, I covered her mouth with my hand and said her that it will be just more around 2 to 3 minutes, after about 5 minutes I feel satisfied too she was like huh finally and smiled at me and said it was a good experience isn't it
I accepted it and the next day she finally went and also promised to both of us to keep it a secret and it wouldn't happen again and be best friends forever.
that is it for today see you all tomorrow.
bye...

Hello, to preface this post, I am not very familiar with Reddit and am using a throwaway account as to keep this anonymous. I will likely try posting this in other subreddits to try and hear thoughts from a wider range of users. I apologize in advance if this post doesn't match exactly to how people normally use this forum.
Recently, I have been thinking a lot about some experiences I had during my life from my childhood until now (I am 20). I never really questioned most of this stuff and just assumed that the things I would experience were common and ones that everyone else around me could relate to. It wasn't until more recently when most friends I spoke to about any of this stuff thought this was somewhat abnormal or they couldn't exactly understand what I was trying to describe. So, under this paragraph, I am going to outline some mental phenomena I used to (or still do) experience. If anyone can relate to or have some better understanding for what these things are, I would really appreciate a response.
I regularly experienced vivid night terrors as a young child, some that I still remember well to this day. I would sometimes wake up screaming in my sleep or roll off my bed. I would often sleep walk throughout my home in the night, and would also have nights where I would experience a half-asleep half-awake state of consciousness in which I would pace around in circles in my bedroom or living room while imagining that my dreams were connected to real life. As an example: The night after watching the movie Gravity in theaters (I was 9 years old), I sleep walked into the living room. I then woke into this trance-like state where I paced around in circles with anxiety for what felt like hours and hours as I was convinced that I was being sent to space and that I would die. Just to note- I also experienced sleep paralysis a couple times in which I would awake with a completely numb body, unable to move, with a shadowy figure standing in my doorway. These night terrors eventually went away, and they stopped around middle school. Around that time, I began experiencing very common and easy to achieve lucid dreams, both on purpose and accident.
Very often, after looking at an object for long enough, I would begin to feel that the object was either much smaller than it really was, or that it was a large object further away than it really was. By this, I don't mean that objects were literally larger or smaller in my vision. Rather that they were distorting in size while also distorting in distance from my eyes in order to maintain the same amount of space in my field of view. This would often happen in school while staring at boards, papers, or teachers. It was often very disorientating and dizzying. I could only usually make my perception return to normal after closing my eyes for long enough. Otherwise, my vision would distort more, and everything would feel strangely far away. This is something that I experienced more as a kid, but still occasionally feel even today.
In a similar vein to these visual distortions, I also occasionally experienced mild time distortions. (This is difficult to describe, so bear with me.) Also as a kid, hearing and focusing in on a particular tempo visually and auditorily (like tapping my finger at a constant interval) would cause time to feel as if it was moving significantly faster. It feels like the tapping is happening really slowly while the world around me moved faster, making me feel really anxious. This didn't happen very often, and would usually correlate to the night terrors I would have (feeling much longer than they actually were). This is something I do not experience anymore and haven't since middle school.
I also experienced a couple rare episodes of dissociation growing up. They felt pretty severe to me, feeling like I wasn't in control of my body or mind, like I was watching from far away, and everything felt cloudy and fuzzy. One in particular was very intense, and just lasted for one day- ending with me becoming severely ill and throwing up all over the place.
Nowadays I don't experience much of these things. The only real mental struggles I feel now are high social anxiety, often avoiding places and people so that I don't have to interact. College friends regularly mention to me that they walk past me and that I see them but never say hi, and I almost never realize that I had stared straight at people I know. I often feel like I walk around everyday without recognizing or even seeing people's faces, even ones close to me.
There are a couple other habits I had as a kid that might warrant looking into, but they are things I didn't want to really get into here. If anyone has any insight or shares these experiences, please comment, I'd love to hear! Looking back at all this stuff is strange and a little worrying at times, so any thoughts are appreciated! Thank you for reading this. :)

I'm somewhat new to blender, about 6/mo on off, outside of work I've been tying to teach myself how to make game assets, and I've been trying to develop a good workflow. A few friends and I have a project we want to work on and I want to be able to have an idea of what I can deliver in what amount of time. I've gotten decent enough at hard surface modeling for objects that require it, but I definitely prefer to sculpt. The issue I've been having is I'm just not good at retopology. From what I've seen retopo is kind of a pain in the ass for a lot of people in the beginning and the solution is to just power through and practice with purpose and it'll start to click and come naturally over time. But, if I ain't got time for that shit, and I want to deliver decent assets, would it be more worthwhile to just get better and build out a more detailed hard surface model, Multires it, and then sculpt?
My thought process here is, I can improve on my hard surface modeling, I can have greater control over my topology, still sculpt, and still have good topology when the whole thing is done. Rather than blocking out the model, sculpting/dyntopo/remeshing, and retopologizing the whole thing from scratch. Would it be worthwhile to go the multires route even if I'd probably sculpt a model faster, I feel like I'd save time not retopologizing from scratch. I could be underestimating how hard it is to get good topology when hard surface modeling, and maybe I should just work on doing it from scratch after a sculpt. I might be getting too hung up on the whole thing, and maybe I don't need amazing retopology and edge flow for a game model for a game that's just a fun project, Any thoughts or advice would be appreciated!

Hello, to preface this post, I am not very familiar with Reddit and am using a throwaway account as to keep this anonymous. I will likely try posting this in other subreddits to try and hear thoughts from a wider range of users. I apologize in advance if this post doesn't match exactly to how people normally use this forum.
Recently, I have been thinking a lot about some experiences I had during my life from my childhood until now (I am 20). I never really questioned most of this stuff and just assumed that the things I would experience were common and ones that everyone else around me could relate to. It wasn't until more recently when most friends I spoke to about any of this stuff thought this was somewhat abnormal or they couldn't exactly understand what I was trying to describe. So, under this paragraph, I am going to outline some mental phenomena I used to (or still do) experience. If anyone can relate to or have some better understanding for what these things are, I would really appreciate a response.
I regularly experienced vivid night terrors as a young child, some that I still remember well to this day. I would sometimes wake up screaming in my sleep or roll off my bed. I would often sleep walk throughout my home in the night, and would also have nights where I would experience a half-asleep half-awake state of consciousness in which I would pace around in circles in my bedroom or living room while imagining that my dreams were connected to real life. As an example: The night after watching the movie Gravity in theaters (I was 9 years old), I sleep walked into the living room. I then woke into this trance-like state where I paced around in circles with anxiety for what felt like hours and hours as I was convinced that I was being sent to space and that I would die. Just to note- I also experienced sleep paralysis a couple times in which I would awake with a completely numb body, unable to move, with a shadowy figure standing in my doorway. These night terrors eventually went away, and they stopped around middle school. Around that time, I began experiencing very common and easy to achieve lucid dreams, both on purpose and accident.
Very often, after looking at an object for long enough, I would begin to feel that the object was either much smaller than it really was, or that it was a large object further away than it really was. By this, I don't mean that objects were literally larger or smaller in my vision. Rather that they were distorting in size while also distorting in distance from my eyes in order to maintain the same amount of space in my field of view. This would often happen in school while staring at boards, papers, or teachers. It was often very disorientating and dizzying. I could only usually make my perception return to normal after closing my eyes for long enough. Otherwise, my vision would distort more, and everything would feel strangely far away. This is something that I experienced more as a kid, but still occasionally feel even today.
In a similar vein to these visual distortions, I also occasionally experienced mild time distortions. (This is difficult to describe, so bear with me.) Also as a kid, hearing and focusing in on a particular tempo visually and auditorily (like tapping my finger at a constant interval) would cause time to feel as if it was moving significantly faster. It feels like the tapping is happening really slowly while the world around me moved faster, making me feel really anxious. This didn't happen very often, and would usually correlate to the night terrors I would have (feeling much longer than they actually were). This is something I do not experience anymore and haven't since middle school.
I also experienced a couple rare episodes of dissociation growing up. They felt pretty severe to me, feeling like I wasn't in control of my body or mind, like I was watching from far away, and everything felt cloudy and fuzzy. One in particular was very intense, and just lasted for one day- ending with me becoming severely ill and throwing up all over the place.
Nowadays I don't experience much of these things. The only real mental struggles I feel now are high social anxiety, often avoiding places and people so that I don't have to interact. College friends regularly mention to me that they walk past me and that I see them but never say hi, and I almost never realize that I had stared straight at people I know. I often feel like I walk around everyday without recognizing or even seeing people's faces, even ones close to me.
There are a couple other habits I had as a kid that might warrant looking into, but they are things I didn't want to really get into here. If anyone has any insight or shares these experiences, please comment, I'd love to hear! Looking back at all this stuff is strange and a little worrying at times, so any thoughts are appreciated! Thank you for reading this. :)

I work at a small publication with 3 other writers, including another senior staff member (SSM), who does the editing. I do the writing. There's no HR.
For context, I was hired by the editorial director (ED) about six months ago, with the intention of broadening the appeal of the magazine (which is very niche). ED hired me, because I have 10+ years of experience as an editowriter at big name pubs (think Vogue, the Atlantic, the New Yorker, etc.). I only mention this, because SSM has been the most difficult, nitpicky editor I've had by MILES. It's honestly baffling that I'm currently working on a seventh edit for SSM when I've never gotten more than three rounds of edits for literal cover stories.
The strange thing is that we're genuinely friendly! However, other people have noticed that he's overly critical with me though, and they've told me they're confused by his behavior, because he's usually a pretty lax editor. I had to loop in the ED once, because SSM keeps trying to nuke my pieces. He gets hung up on the smallest detail, but, in his mind, they're big enough to undermine the entire piece and have it shelved altogether. Every round of edits, he'll invent a new micro-problem. At this point, it feels like he just doesn't want any of my work to ever see the light of day.
I've published very little in the past several months, and it's really taken a toll on my mental health. I'm stressed, self-conscious about my work, and feel like I'm just not good at my job. The only reason I haven't quit is because this job is a stable source of monthly income, and there are pretty much zero other places with a similar position. I'm at my wits end though and even recently mentioned this to ED, who offered to speak with SSM, though I doubt it would be effective. ED actually relies on SSM a lot and 99% of the time trusts his judgment, because SSM has been here the longest, so SSM is probably a little territorial. But I know from our coworkers that SSM also takes critique very poorly and has a vindictive streak, especially if he thinks you've gone over his head...so it would definitely make our working relationship way worse. I'm also concerned, because I'm unsure of how this situation can be fixed, given that he's the only one senior enough to edit me. Given his tenure, logically, I'd be the more likely one to get fired, right? Is there any other way to go about this? Especially knowing that he'd just deny everything if I talked to him about it?

Hello, to preface this post, I am not very familiar with Reddit and am using a throwaway account as to keep this anonymous. I will likely try posting this in other subreddits to try and hear thoughts from a wider range of users. I apologize in advance if this post doesn't match exactly to how people normally use this forum.
Recently, I have been thinking a lot about some experiences I had during my life from my childhood until now (I am 20). I never really questioned most of this stuff and just assumed that the things I would experience were common and ones that everyone else around me could relate to. It wasn't until more recently when most friends I spoke to about any of this stuff thought this was somewhat abnormal or they couldn't exactly understand what I was trying to describe. So, under this paragraph, I am going to outline some mental phenomena I used to (or still do) experience. If anyone can relate to or have some better understanding for what these things are, I would really appreciate a response.
I regularly experienced vivid night terrors as a young child, some that I still remember well to this day. I would sometimes wake up screaming in my sleep or roll off my bed. I would often sleep walk throughout my home in the night, and would also have nights where I would experience a half-asleep half-awake state of consciousness in which I would pace around in circles in my bedroom or living room while imagining that my dreams were connected to real life. As an example: The night after watching the movie Gravity in theaters (I was 9 years old), I sleep walked into the living room. I then woke into this trance-like state where I paced around in circles with anxiety for what felt like hours and hours as I was convinced that I was being sent to space and that I would die. Just to note- I also experienced sleep paralysis a couple times in which I would awake with a completely numb body, unable to move, with a shadowy figure standing in my doorway. These night terrors eventually went away, and they stopped around middle school. Around that time, I began experiencing very common and easy to achieve lucid dreams, both on purpose and accident.
Very often, after looking at an object for long enough, I would begin to feel that the object was either much smaller than it really was, or that it was a large object further away than it really was. By this, I don't mean that objects were literally larger or smaller in my vision. Rather that they were distorting in size while also distorting in distance from my eyes in order to maintain the same amount of space in my field of view. This would often happen in school while staring at boards, papers, or teachers. It was often very disorientating and dizzying. I could only usually make my perception return to normal after closing my eyes for long enough. Otherwise, my vision would distort more, and everything would feel strangely far away. This is something that I experienced more as a kid, but still occasionally feel even today.
In a similar vein to these visual distortions, I also occasionally experienced mild time distortions. (This is difficult to describe, so bear with me.) Also as a kid, hearing and focusing in on a particular tempo visually and auditorily (like tapping my finger at a constant interval) would cause time to feel as if it was moving significantly faster. It feels like the tapping is happening really slowly while the world around me moved faster, making me feel really anxious. This didn't happen very often, and would usually correlate to the night terrors I would have (feeling much longer than they actually were). This is something I do not experience anymore and haven't since middle school.
I also experienced a couple rare episodes of dissociation growing up. They felt pretty severe to me, feeling like I wasn't in control of my body or mind, like I was watching from far away, and everything felt cloudy and fuzzy. One in particular was very intense, and just lasted for one day- ending with me becoming severely ill and throwing up all over the place.
Nowadays I don't experience much of these things. The only real mental struggles I feel now are high social anxiety, often avoiding places and people so that I don't have to interact. College friends regularly mention to me that they walk past me and that I see them but never say hi, and I almost never realize that I had stared straight at people I know. I often feel like I walk around everyday without recognizing or even seeing people's faces, even ones close to me.
There are a couple other habits I had as a kid that might warrant looking into, but they are things I didn't want to really get into here. If anyone has any insight or shares these experiences, please comment, I'd love to hear! Looking back at all this stuff is strange and a little worrying at times, so any thoughts are appreciated! Thank you for reading this. :)

Hi, I wasn't sure where to post this, so please let me know if there's a better sub for this, but I wanted to ask for multiple different opinions on this because I've been so confused about it. I might still be in denial? Hold on tight, this one is a doozy. And I'll probably delete it after a couple days or so.
So I was in an online relationship with this man for a couple years until we met in person in 2016, then married in 2019. I'm counting all 7 years as the whole relationship, but we were only married for 1. Some background information about him is he was abused as a kid. By his dad physically, and by his neighbor (SA). Now he was also in an accident involving a semitruck, which ruptured a couple disks in his back I believe? And this is why he told me he smoked marijuana. For his back, for medical reasons. I was ok with that. It was whatever. None of this seemed to truly bother him, so he seemed pretty easy going.
Fast forward to the marriage. (For informational purposes related to the story, I'm christian and don't believe in living with a man before marriage so I was unaware of a lot.) About 3 months in, he stops doing the marijuana and things go downhill fast. He only stopped because he knew I never really liked him smoking, but again, I was fine with it because his was for medical reasons. I told him this. He didn't want to smoke it again. Okay.
He starts taking up drinking instead to dowse the pain (he never went to the doctor for it and refused), but then some other issues started rising. He told me he wasn't drinking much, but I'd find empty bottles of alcohol stuffed into the couch, under the bed, behind the dresser, etc. It just didn't add up to the amount of times I saw him drinking. I told him we couldn't afford his alcohol, he kept buying it anyway.
Another point: I was the only one working and paying bills majority of the time. He couldn't hold a job and stayed home doing nothing I guess. No cleaning, no anything. I didn't know it was going to be like this before we got married. He seemed like he knew his priorities with saving money and getting bills paid and keeping things organized. That's what he told me anyway. But everything was always a mess when I got home and I was the only one making sure anything got paid.
Anyways, he also said he started seeing this... demon figure? Or something. In our apartment. It bothered him and freaked him out. I never saw it, but he'd sometimes see it in the closet or going from room to room or in the corner, and he even told me its name was Seth. One time we were arguing and he yelled out BEHIND me to "SHUT UP." And... to clarify... he made sure I knew he wasn't talking to me, but the thing behind me. There was no thing behind me. It was just us. So that periodically was happening through this entire ordeal.
Now when he started drinking, he started having these "episodes." They happened maybe once a week, once every other week? He seemed to get really frustrated about his past or something related to it, and he'd get so angry. So angry that he'd start punching things like the wall. And during these episodes he seemed like a completely different person. I NEVER saw anything close to this side of him before marrying him. Nobody warned me of this. None of his family. I didn't know what was going on. I'm not even sure if his family knows??? He just went on a rampage. I just tried my best to console him quietly for the longest time until he seemed somewhat normal again. Then he was ok in the morning again. These episodes only seemed to happen at night. Over the course of the next few months, these episodes only got more frequent to the point where they were happening pretty much every night (I think the alcohol just helps trigger it along) and more aggressive. I stayed around each time to try and calm him down, but it never really worked. So I just ended up losing sleep over it in the long run.
I mentioned several times that we/he should see a therapist or counseling or something, but he refused. He told me he was fine and that all he needed was me. He didn't believe in therapy... which sucked for me because he needed it majorly.
During these months while he was jobless, he'd find some way to fracture his fingers, whether it be punching a wall, or just... hitting something? Idk. I legit can't count how many times he had to put his fingers in splints. Idk if he was accident prone, or if he REALLY wanted to get out of finding a job, liked being the victim and getting me to feel sorry for him (which I did a LOT), or all of the above. He needed babying a lot, let me just say. When I said he needed a job to help me with the bills, he wanted me to come with him to this temp ageny place I went to to get a job, so I agreed. But every time I came home from work and asked to go, he said "tomorrow," or "next week." Always coming up with excuses of not feeling good or he fractured another finger, or something. Idk.
(Warning, sexual topic here) Another thing was happening during these months as well. During my sleep, he'd finger me in my sleep (and then proceed to try to put himself in me). At like 1am, when I had to get up at 4:30am to go to work and needed sleep (keep in mind, all his nightly episodes were ALSO happening still, so 1am is probably not too long after I ACTUALLY went to sleep. He kept me up a lot). I told him no several times but he wouldn't stop. This happened multiple times. I was exhausted. His excuse? "You were wet." Yes, because my body naturally reacted to stimulation. It took maybe 5-10 minutes or so until he gave up.
(More sexual topic) Whenever we DID have sex was fine. But obviously there were times where he wanted it and I didn't, and when I did and he didn't. The issue came when he wanted it and I didn't. If I said no, I had to say no several times. And eventually he'd stop. Everything. Stop cuddling, stop talking, stop everything, turn his back to me and just... lay there silently. The cold shoulder. Idk what else to call this but it seriously hurt. I didn't treat him that way. If he didn't want to, I'd accept it and stay cuddling. Over time this really messed with my thinking on whether or not he really loved me or just wanted to use me as a live in sex doll.
I made all the excuses in the book for his actions. His past abuse for one. I guess I felt like he needed me? Or I couldn't leave him? Idk.
There was one night where I stayed up for 5 hours straight, from 10pm to 3am, trying to stop him from punching holes in the walls. I stayed up trying to help him so often, it wore me out to the point where sex was off the table completely for aboouutt the last 4 months of our marriage I believe. I was drained mentally and physically. Frankly I was losing my emotional attachment to him. Then he started claiming I was cheating, because I didn't want sex with him, so I had to be "getting it from somewhere." Lol I went to work and came home. What cheating?
Also, suicidal thoughts. He had those too. He'd say things like "I don't deserve you. I'm better off not here. You deserve so much more. I'm a failure." frequently. I reassured him every time. Eventually I got tired of this too.
Towards the end I was speaking seriously with him. I bluntly told him things would need to change and he'd need a therapist or I'd be divorcing him. And I wouldn't throw that word around if I didn't mean it. I was on my last straw because I couldn't help him and he was dragging me down into depression avenue too and making me lose tons of sleep on top of everything. He didn't take my words seriously.
The last night that made me leave was the worst. Now, it started off with me going to bed because I had work in the morning. He wanted sex again. Surprise surprise. I said no, I need to sleep. He went quiet for a minute. My anxiety went up because I felt like something was going to happen, and sure enough....... he suddenly pops off the bed and says he can destroy his Pokémon cards to prove his love. What kind of insanity is that?
Firstly, this is the 3rd time he'd attempt to destroy his cards. Secondly, I knew how much they meant to him so I stopped him from doing that both times before. Thirdly, haha these were original Pocket Monster backed cards. Yay. Fourth... I didn't give a crap anymore and let him destroy them. He took them out of the closet and to the bathtub. He just submerged them all in water. I finally got out of bed and went "here we go again..." and went to go watch him so he wouldn't hurt himself. Idk. I couldn't stop him. I was dead tired.
After he successfully ruined all the cards, it's like a switch flipped and he was suddenly yelling "what did I do?!?!" Over and over again. He was in the tub with the cards and was throwing the cards up in the air. He was angry with himself.
This was around 12am. He decides to throw the cards in a trash bag and take them out to the dump at the front of the complex... now. Like he couldn't wait. (I also want to mention I hated when he stayed up later than I did because he always forgot to lock the doors even if I reminded him, so I always felt like I had to stay up. I woke up one morning with our porch door just... open. Not even closed. I couldn't trust it after that.) He also mentioned offing himself again, and then stuffed one of our glocks in his pocket while taking the bag (yes, stupid to have guns in this situation, I know). He claimed it was for protection while he went to the trash. While I believed that, I wasn't going to chance anything, so I managed to get the gun from his pocket and unload it. Then I quickly stashed it next to mine on my side of the bed.
Obviously he wanted to get it back, so I was wrestling him the whole way. Managed to keep him from it, so he got angry and punched the wall behind me, causing his knuckles to bleed. (This triggered me because by this point, I already cleaned up his blood numerous times before. Walls and my shirt because he flung his hand and it sprayed both) So I start crying and asking to take him to the bathroom to clean him up so I don't have to clean up anything else. I was tired, I wanted to go to bed and sleep so I could just get up for work. He refused, but I managed to push him there. Where... he proceeded to fling his hand and the blood splattered across the bathroom wall instead. sigh
This is when we hear a knock at the door and "POLICE." The neighbors called in domestic violence on us because we were so loud. I never had any run ins with police, so I got scared to open the door, but he opened it. I stood beside him. I had blood on my shirt from him pushing me aside and he had blood on him obviously. It didn't look good.
The police asked if they could come in and it was like another switch flipped in my ex's head (because he never acted like this around anybody else but me) so he started acting almost normal again instead of whatever his hysteria was. He told them it was completely fine and they didn't have to come in. But in that moment, my ex scared me so bad by that one flip of his personality that I told the police to come in. I was just glad to be able to speak to someone sane.
When they questioned us, they quickly realized I was the only one capable of answering their questions coherently and spoke with us separately. Eventually it ended with them waiting for me to gather my things and walking me out to my car so I could drive to my parent's house. Meanwhile my ex legit told the police "it's your fault we're separating." And I just told him that it wasn't, and walked out.
He later claims the police had to hold him back from going after me but I never saw this and don't know how true it is after his lies. He lied about his bills to me over the phone when we were still online dating. He also held back information about "almost sleeping with a random woman" when we were online dating. They "got naked" and "didn't do anything" and claims he didn't know we were dating at the time, but still felt guilty about it and told me about it after we got married?? Idk. And I still forgave him on the spot. Maybe that stuff doesn't matter so much, but still. Yes, I got tested. Clear.
I never went back. I was too scared. I still don't know what to make of it to this day because a lot of things were nonsense (a lot of craziness still left out, but this was the main stuff). I realize his past may play a major part of this, but I still feel messed up from it. (Yes I probably need to go to a therapist myself, but I've also doing forms of positive self therapy exercises as well for the time being until I can actually go. I'm MUCH happier now, don't worry.)
What are your opinions on this, if you actually made it this far? I'm just struggling to call it abuse maybe because he was abused himself? Or was this even abuse? What are your outside perspectives on it?
Tl;dr: Abused ex husband becomes enraged at night, punching holes in walls, causing me to lose sleep and sanity.

Hey yall. 30F here who has been feeling listless and directionless for a long period of my life.
I work a job that I like enough as a finance person at a non-profit, but it may as well be data entry. I am rarely very busy, but my position is crucial enough when the work does pick up and the environment is really great. I’m in office two days a week which I usually save most of my work for, to use as my “busy” days.
Otherwise, I went to college later in life (started when I was 22 i think) and I always wanted to go to school for media and editing. For my whole life, I wanted to work with audio and video in some way. But because I was an “adult learner” and was working a fulltime job to put myself through college, I only had the options to take night courses that were “adult learner” focused (this was all before online classes). I got my degree in economics and have worked various client relations/account executive/data and finance jobs. I have no idea how I got here or how to pivot out of it at this point.
Since I now kind of have the time with my current workload not being overwhelming, I am realizing how little I do with my free time and how little motivation I have to strive for a more fulfilling life. I do have major depressive disorder and will likely soon find out what relief medication may offer to this mindset.
But I am always stuck wondering: how can I fill my time with something meaningful? I have always desired a more creative outlet. My partner and I explore food and wine and enjoy the culinary scene, that is just about the only “creative” hobby I can think of. I want so badly to figure out how to develop skills in audio editing/engineering and video editing but because I didn’t go to school for it, I get so nervous to be 100 steps behind everyone else in an already saturated field. I am also scared I just don’t actually care for any of it as much as I tell myself I do. I don’t think I actually know what I want to do or how to take any steps forward at all. I have ruminated on this for so long and always come up empty.
Looking for any advice on how to fill my days with more meaningful moments and begin to work towards a more fulfilling and satisfying career. Thank you for reading!

Hi all. I have been working at a library for 6 months under my city. Unfortunately I need to quit immediately because I don’t feel safe there anymore after a male library patron has taken it upon himself to make me his target. Long story short, he has a criminal record for being violent, found my social medias and phone number and harassed me via text despite me politely rejecting him but for some reason he didn’t believe me when I said I have a boyfriend. This has been going on since January, but I tried to let it go since I couldn’t afford to quit my job. My breaking point with him was this Friday when he was using a computer (the section of the library where I work) and was getting upset when something wasn’t working and he decided to point directly at me and tell me repeatedly that “its my fault” his computer wasn’t working and that I was doing this to him. I didn’t include every single detail (which I can if anyone cares) but ultimately I was like yeah… this man isn’t okay and I don’t feel safe. I called out on Saturday and planned to send in a letter Monday morning as soon as the library director comes in. Luckily, I had an interview for a different city department that week and they actually called me back the same day all this occurred and offered me the position. Obviously I’m going to take it, but now I need advice on how to go about leaving my current job. My issue is that both jobs are under the city system and I would basically just be transferring, but I can’t stick out the two weeks here before transferring there. I plan on mentioning the new role in the letter, but I’m worried that if I quit immediately they’ll remove my name from the employee list even though I would just be starting somewhere else soon after. I’m not sure how to go about asking to keep me in the system when I’m not staying for two weeks. Also, I’ve never sent an immediate notice before and I feel bad because in my section of the library, it’s only me, my supervisor and another coworker but she just went on a month long vacation last week so I would be basically abandoning my supervisor to work alone. My coworkers here have been fairly good people and I have no issues with them so it sucks to do this. And please I would like no judgement on the reason why I am deciding to quit. I mentioned that I didn’t include every single detail but I’m glad to elaborate if anyone wants to know. Anyways, thanks for any advice you may have!

[Introducing moschitta_base: A Rust Library for Enhancing Moschitta Framework]

Hello Moschitta Framework community,
We are thrilled to announce the release of moschitta_base, a Rust library designed to act as the foundational layer for the Moschitta Framework's moschitta-core module. This library aims to enhance performance, concurrency, and resource management, providing a robust base for the framework's various features.
Below, we provide an overview of the key features of moschitta_base and how you can integrate and utilize it within your projects.

Key Features of moschitta_base

1. Serialization and Deserialization
2. Concurrency and Asynchronous Operations
3. Cryptography
4. Networking
5. Caching
6. Database Interaction
7. Logging
8. Utility Functions

Installation

To get started, add moschitta_base to your Cargo.toml dependencies:
toml [dependencies] pyo3 = { version = "0.15.1", features = ["extension-module"] } serde = { version = "1.0", features = ["derive"] } serde_json = "1.0" tokio = { version = "1", features = ["full"] } futures = "0.3" openssl = { version = "0.10", features = ["vendored"] } hyper = { version = "0.14", features = ["full"] } tokio-tungstenite = "0.15" lru = "0.7" sqlx = { version = "0.5", features = ["sqlite", "runtime-tokio-rustls"] } tracing = "0.1" anyhow = "1.0" uuid = "1.0"

Implementing moschitta_base

Below are code snippets and explanations to help you integrate and utilize the moschitta_base library.

Serialization and Deserialization

Using serde and serde_json for JSON operations:
```rust use pyo3::prelude::*; use serde_json::{self, Value};
/// A function to serialize a struct to JSON.

[pyfunction]

fn serialize_to_json(data: &PyAny) -> PyResult { let value: Value = data.extract()?; let serialized = serde_json::to_string(&value)?; Ok(serialized) }
/// A function to deserialize JSON to a struct.

[pyfunction]

fn deserialize_from_json(json_str: &str) -> PyResult> { let value: Value = serde_json::from_str(json_str)?; let gil = Python::acquire_gil(); let py = gil.python(); Ok(value.into_py(py)) } ```
These functions make it simple to convert between Python objects and JSON strings.

Concurrency and Asynchronous Operations

Example of an asynchronous function:
```rust use pyo3::prelude::*;
/// A simple async function.

[pyfunction]

async fn async_hello() -> PyResult { Ok("Hello, async world!".to_string()) } ```
This demonstrates how you can use async functions within the Moschitta Framework for non-blocking operations.

Cryptography

Using openssl for AES encryption and decryption:
```rust use pyo3::prelude::*; use openssl::symm::{Cipher, Crypter, Mode};
/// Encrypt data using AES.

[pyfunction]

fn encrypt(data: &[u8], key: &[u8], iv: &[u8]) -> PyResult> { let cipher = Cipher::aes_256_cbc(); let mut crypter = Crypter::new(cipher, Mode::Encrypt, key, Some(iv)).map_err(e e.to_string())?; let mut ciphertext = vec![0; data.len() + cipher.block_size()]; let mut count = crypter.update(data, &mut ciphertext).map_err(e e.to_string())?; count += crypter.finalize(&mut ciphertext[count..]).map_err(e e.to_string())?; ciphertext.truncate(count); Ok(ciphertext) }
/// Decrypt data using AES.

[pyfunction]

fn decrypt(data: &[u8], key: &[u8], iv: &[u8]) -> PyResult> { let cipher = Cipher::aes_256_cbc(); let mut crypter = Crypter::new(cipher, Mode::Decrypt, key, Some(iv)).map_err(e e.to_string())?; let mut plaintext = vec![0; data.len() + cipher.block_size()]; let mut count = crypter.update(data, &mut plaintext).map_err(e e.to_string())?; count += crypter.finalize(&mut plaintext[count..]).map_err(e e.to_string())?; plaintext.truncate(count); Ok(plaintext) } ```
These functions enable secure encryption and decryption of data using AES.

Networking

Performing an HTTP GET request using hyper:
```rust use pyo3::prelude::*; use hyper::{Client, Body};
/// Perform an HTTP GET request.

[pyfunction]

async fn http_get(url: &str) -> PyResult { let client = Client::new(); let res = client.get(url.parse().unwrap()).await.map_err(e e.to_string())?; let body = hyper::body::to_bytes(res.into_body()).await.map_err(e e.to_string())?; Ok(String::from_utf8(body.to_vec()).unwrap()) } ```
This demonstrates how to make asynchronous HTTP requests efficiently.

Caching

Implementing a basic LRU cache:
```rust use pyo3::prelude::*; use tokio::sync::Mutex; use lru::LruCache; use std::sync::Arc;
/// Basic LRU cache using Arc and Mutex for thread-safety.

[pyclass]

struct Cache { inner: Arc>>, }

[pymethods]

impl Cache { #[new] fn new(size: usize) -> Self { Cache { inner: Arc::new(Mutex::new(LruCache::new(size))), } }

fn set(&self, key: String, value: String) -> PyResult<()> { let mut cache = self.inner.lock().await; cache.put(key, value); Ok(()) } fn get(&self, key: String) -> PyResult> { let cache = self.inner.lock().await; Ok(cache.get(&key).cloned()) } 

} ```
This cache helps improve performance by storing frequently accessed data.

Database Interaction

Initializing a database connection pool:
```rust use pyo3::prelude::*; use sqlx::sqlite::SqlitePool; use anyhow::Result;
/// Initialize database connection pool.

[pyfunction]

async fn init_db_pool(database_url: &str) -> Result { let pool = SqlitePool::connect(database_url).await?; Ok(pool) } ```
Use this function to set up a connection pool for efficient database interactions.

Logging

Logging a message using tracing:
```rust use pyo3::prelude::*; use tracing::info;
/// Log a message.

[pyfunction]

fn log_message(message: &str) { info!("{}", message); } ```
This function helps with monitoring and debugging by logging important events.

Utility Functions

Generating a UUID:
```rust use pyo3::prelude::*; use uuid::Uuid;
/// Generate a UUID.

[pyfunction]

fn generate_uuid() -> PyResult { Ok(Uuid::new_v4().to_string()) } ```
UUID generation is useful for creating unique identifiers for various purposes.

Bringing It All Together

To utilize these functions in your Python project, you can load the Rust library using PyO3 and call the functions as needed. Here is how you can define the Python module:
```rust /// A Python module implemented in Rust.

[pymodule]

fn moschitta_base(py: Python, m: &PyModule) -> PyResult<()> { m.add_function(wrap_pyfunction!(serialize_to_json, m)?)?; m.add_function(wrap_pyfunction!(deserialize_from_json, m)?)?; m.add_function(wrap_pyfunction!(async_hello, m)?)?; m.add_function(wrap_pyfunction!(encrypt, m)?)?; m.add_function(wrap_pyfunction!(decrypt, m)?)?; m.add_function(wrap_pyfunction!(http_get, m)?)?; m.add_class::()?; m.add_function(wrap_pyfunction!(init_db_pool, m)?)?; m.add_function(wrap_pyfunction!(log_message, m)?)?; m.add_function(wrap_pyfunction!(generate_uuid, m)?)?; Ok(()) } ```

Conclusion

The moschitta_base library is a powerful addition to the Moschitta Framework, providing enhanced performance, better concurrency handling, and efficient resource management. We encourage you to explore these features and integrate them into your projects. Your feedback and contributions are welcome to help us improve and expand the library.
Happy coding!
Feel free to leave any questions or comments below. Let's build a more efficient and powerful Moschitta Framework together!
View the Moschitta Framework on GitHub

Hi everyone! I’ll be an incoming biostats masters student this fall, and I’m very anxious about how to succeed and do well.
I have undergrad background in data science and molecular biology, but all knowledge I learnt was scattered across different classes (and years) and I don’t think i’ve really put effort to sort of synthesise it all together.
My goal for my masters is to ultimately turn it into a PhD, while also getting research and/or internship experience. Since internship recruiting starts a year prior, I’m scared that I won’t have learnt enough in time during my first semester to start recruiting, or apply for research positions.
I’d love any advice and/or experiences that helped you make the most of your masters, academically and/or professionally! Thank you in advance!

by Asma bint Shameem
A new kind of calamity has hit the muslim world especially those living in non-Muslim lands.
Our muslim girls are marrying non-Muslim men and nobody seems to care!
This is happening left and right...in families that are practicing muslims and in families that are not so practicing.
Is that really allowed?
What does Islaam say about that?
Let's take a look.
🍃Allaah says:
وَلَا تُنكِحُوا الْمُشْرِكِينَ حَتَّى يُؤْمِنُوا
"And give not (your daughters) in marriage to Al-Mushrikoon till they believe (in Allaah Alone)" (Surah al-Baqarah :221)
Here Allaah is telling us directly...clear and straight.
"Do not give your daughters to non Muslim men."
Simple as that. The Order couldn't be more straightforward or clearer.
🍃In the tafseer of this aayah, at-Tabari said:
"What Allaah, Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala means in this verse is that He has forbidden believing women to marry a mushrik (polytheist) of any type. So do not, O Muslim men, give them (Muslim women) in marriage to them (mushrikeen), for that is forbidden to you."
(Tafseer at-Tabari, 4/370)
🍃And Al-Qurtubi said:
"And give not (your daughters) in marriage to Al-Mushrikoon" means do not give a Muslim woman in marriage to a mushrik. The ummah is unanimously agreed that a mushrik should not marry a believing woman under any circumstances, because that undermines Islam." (Tafseer al-Qurtubi (3/72)
🍃Al-Baghawi said:
"And give not (your daughters) in marriage to Al-Mushrikoon till they believe (in Allah Alone)" - there is consensus on this point: it is not permissible for a Muslim woman to marry a mushrik man."
🍃In another aayah, Allaah says:
يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا إِذَا جَاءَكُمُ الْمُؤْمِنَاتُ مُهَاجِرَاتٍ فَامْتَحِنُوهُنَّ اللَّهُ أَعْلَمُ بِإِيمَانِهِنَّ فَإِنْ عَلِمْتُمُوهُنَّ مُؤْمِنَاتٍ فَلَا تَرْجِعُوهُنَّ إِلَى الْكُفَّارِ لَا هُنَّ حِلٌّ لَّهُمْ وَلَا هُمْ يَحِلُّونَ لَهُنَّ وَآتُوهُم مَّا أَنفَقُوا
"O you who believe! When believing women come to you as emigrants, examine them, Allaah knows best as to their Faith. Then if you ascertain that they are true believers, send them not back to the disbelievers, they are not lawful (wives) for the disbelievers nor are the disbelievers lawful (husbands) for them." (Surah al-Mumtahinah :10)
Here Allaah is directly addressing us as believers.
"O you who believe..."
Isn't that you and me?
Yes, it is.
WE claim to believe.
So pay attention.
Our Rabb is calling out to you and me and telling us straight up that disbelieving men are NOT LAWFUL for believing women.
🍃Regarding this aayah, Ibn Katheer said:
"Allaah says: "they are not lawful (wives) for the disbelievers nor are the disbelievers lawful (husbands) for them". This verse is the one which prohibited Muslim women to mushrik men."
(Tafseer al-Qur'an al-'Azeem, 13/521)
It's as simple as that. No ifs and buts about it.
🔴 Such a marriage is NOT valid!
That's because one of the conditions of a valid Islaamic marriage is that the man should be Muslim.
If a muslim woman marries a non-Muslim man, this marriage is NOT A marriage in the eyes of the Shari'ah.
This woman is making a grave error and is guilty of committing zina!
May Allaah protect us.
🍃Statement of the Islamic Fiqh Council regarding this matter:
"Marriage of a kaafir to a Muslim woman is haraam and is not permissible, according to scholarly consensus, and there is no doubt about that because of what is stated in the shar'i texts." (Fataawa Islamiyyah (3/231)
🍃Just look at the rulings on such a woman!
"If a Muslim woman marries a non-Muslim man, knowing the ruling thereon, then she is a zaaniyah and is subject to the hadd punishment for zina.(Ya Allaah!!!)
If she was unaware of the ruling, then she is excused, but they must be separated, with no need for talaaq (divorce), because the marriage is invalid in the first place."
(Islamqa)
Astaghfirullaah!
Do we need any more proof than this?!
🛑 Should I go to such a wedding if I'm invited?
NO we should not be going to such a wedding that's not valid in the sight of Allaah.
If we take part in something that's haraam, then we're indirectly condoning that haraam.
In fact this is cooperating in sin and transgression, which itself is a sin.
🍃 Allaah says:
"And cooperate in righteousness and piety, but do not cooperate in sin and aggression" (Surah al-Maa'idah :2)
🛑 What should I do?
Part of our being a Muslim is to enjoin the good and forbid the evil.
So here's what we can do depending on the situation.

1. If it's possible, go talk to the parties involved and help the man to understand and accept Islaam and say the Shahadah. That is the best scenario.
   
2. If he does not want to become Muslim, then explain to them how this marriage would not be valid and try to talk them out of it.
   
3. If they don't listen and still want to carry on with this adulterous relationship then simply DO NOT attend this so-called 'wedding' and be devastated about it in your heart. But at least you did your job.
   

🍃The Prophet sal Allaahu Alayhi wa sallam said:
"Whoever among you sees an evil action, let him change it with his hand [by taking action]; if he cannot, then with his tongue [by speaking out]; and if he cannot, then with his heart [by at least hating it and believing that it is wrong], and that is the weakest of faith." (Muslim)
🛑 But I love the man!
Many sisters 'think' they 'love' the non-Muslim man and they can't live without them.
Dear sister, this just a trick of the Shaytaan.
This so-called 'Love' for a non-Muslim man will destroy your dunya and Aakhirah, UNLESS he accepts Islaam and sincerely becomes Muslim.
Just think about it!
If the marriage is against the orders of Allaah, how can their be Khair in it?!
How can their be peace, love and happiness in it?!
How can there be ANY Barakah in it if you'll displease Allaah?!
Actually, it's better for you to marry a SLAVE who's Muslim rather than marry a free man who's not a Muslim.
🍃Allaah says:
And verily, a believing slave is better than a (free) Mushrik (idolater), even though he pleases you. Those (Al-Mushrikoon) invite you to the Fire, but Allaah invites (you) to Paradise and forgiveness by His Leave"
(Surah al-Baqarah :221)
🍃Imam al-Tabari said:
What is said concerning the interpretation of the words "And give not (your daughters) in marriage to Al-Mushrikoon till they believe (in Allaah Alone) and verily, a believing slave is better than a (free) Mushrik (idolater), even though he pleases you" is that what Allaah meant by that is that Allaah has forbidden the believing women from marrying to a mushrik, no matter what kind of shirk he believes in. So, O believers, do not give your daughters in marriage to them, for that is forbidden to you. For you to give them in marriage to a believing slave who believes in Allaah and His Messenger and that which he brought from Allaah is better for you than to give them in marriage to a free mushrik even if he is of noble descent and honourable origins, even if you like his descent and background...
🛑 But then, why are Muslim MEN allowed to marry a woman of the People of the Book?
First of all, when Allaah and His Messenger have ordered us something there's no arguing about it or any other way around it.
We have to listen and obey.
🍃Allaah says:
"It is not for a believer, man or woman, when Allaah and His Messenger have decreed a matter that they should have any option in their decision. And whoever disobeys Allaah and His Messenger, he has indeed strayed in a plain error" (Surah al-Ahzaab :36)
So if we are believers, we obey.
That's what BELIEVERS do.
....even if they don't understand it.
Just obey.
No questions asked.
THAT is true submission to Allaah.
THAT is Islaam.
🍃 Allaah says:
"The only saying of the faithful believers, when they are called to Allaah (His Words, His Orders) and His Messenger to judge between them, is that they say: 'We hear and we obey.' And such are the prosperous ones (who will live forever in Paradise).
And whosoever obeys Allaah and His Messenger, fears Allaah, and keeps his duty (to Him), such are the successful ones"
(Surah an-Noor :51-52)
Even if there were no other reasons, and no other explanations except this one, that would be ENOUGH for us as Muslims to obey Allaah's Command.
But for those who want further explanation:
As Muslims we believe Allaah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aalaa is al-Hakeem, al-'Aleem, the Most-Wise, the Most-Knowledgable.
There is a reason for everything He does. And He knows better.
Allaah has allowed the Muslim man to marry a woman who's a Christian or a Jew and NOT ALLOWED a Muslim woman to marry a nom-Muslim man because of several reasons:
A) The man is in a position of leadership over the woman, and it is not allowed for a non-Muslim to be in a position of leadership over a Muslim woman.
🍃The Prophet sal Allaahu Alayhi wa sallam said:
"Islam prevails and is not prevailed over." (al-Daaraqutni and others -hasan by al-Albaani)
B) Allaah tells us in the Qur'aan that men are 'qawwaam' over their wives, meaning they're in charge.
The husband is the leader or head of the household and his status within the family is higher than that of his wife.
Because of this higher position, if a muslim woman were to marry a non-Muslim man, the husband would influence his wife in a negative way and make her leave her Deen or at least be very lax about it.
He would not be helping her to obey Allaah and in fact he would be an impediment in doing that. And would be an obstruction between her and Jannah.
C) The higher status of the husband will also influence the children to follow their father's religion, which would be nothing short of a DISASTER for the family, if these children grow up to be non-Muslim.
🛑Conclusion
Faith is not just words, my sister, unless it's accompanied by ACTIONS.
If Allaah has prohibited Muslim women from marrying non-Muslim men, even if they're from the People of the Book, then we have to submit to that order and accept it without any qualms about it.
Allaah's Guidance is the best guidance and His Way is the best way.
Alhamdulillaah.
رَضِيتُ بِاللَّهِ رَبًّا ، وَبِالْإِسْلَامِ دِينًا ، وَبِمُحَمَّدٍ رَسُولًا
"I am pleased with Allah as my Lord, with Islam as my religion and with Muhammad (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) as my Prophet"
And Allaah knows best.

[21 F] 5’4” 145 lbs I’m not sure if I have any relevant diagnoses but I’ll list everything I’ve ever been told by a doc I have. I’m very literal and I want to follow the first rule as well as I can. Mental: adhd (revoked), cptsd with dissociation, depression, ppd, and was in process of being diagnosed with BPD, experienced psychosis Physical: bursitis on hips, bone deterioration in hips, TMJ (orthodontist, dentist, OMT Specialist all said my jaw was permanently dislocated and would need surgery or something), hypothyroidism, chronic tonsillitis, chronic bladder infections as child, and at one point minor back spasms.
I was in a RZR accident as a teen where we flipped uphill. No medical attention provided as I didn’t have health insurance and my parents wouldn’t take me. Then in a car accident at 18 with no medical attention. Finally another car accident where I was rear ended on the highway and did seek medical attention. X-ray is what led the DR to tell me I did have minor bone deterioration. My brother would also hold me in an arm lock on both arms until my shoulder would pop and be painful to move after constantly when I was a kid. Not sure if that would cause spasms in my arms.
suspected POTS (multiple fainting spells as a kid, once hit my head and went unconscious but was screaming/shaking; now I can recognize when I’m about to go down)
I am a cannabis smoker but I’m getting sober for work. I have used LSD, molly, xtc, mdma, ketamine, Xanax, nicotine, shrooms, and alcohol and other pills. Nothing was ever long term use, mostly just once or twice. I do believe I overdosed on xtc.
I don’t currently take medications.
Anyways, I’m having this consistent problem as mentioned in the title. My entire body spasms and twitches and moved uncontrollably throughout the entire day. Sometimes it’s worse and other times I forget about it.
I can have eye muscle spasms and I constantly have little muscle spasms throughout my legs, back, arms and sometimes feet. Never painful just tiny little areas and you can see it happen. My legs jerk around usually inwards towards the other leg, or my toes will randomly clench for a split second, my leg will lift up from the knee or I will suddenly bring my foot inwards to my butt. My arms/hand will jerk outwards or my fingers will twitch/curl in. Or my hip or shoulders will just like jerk quickly on its own. My head will also jerk in different directions. Again all of this happens within seconds and is painless. On bad days it just happens consistently and I usually ignore this. Sometimes though I get much stronger and more painful symptoms. I will experience acute burning/itching in my legs that hurt for a fraction of time that cause my legs to shake/jerk/tremospasm (not sure how to best describe it) involuntarily. Sometimes it happens only once or twice but has lasted minutes. The closest thing I can compare to the feeling is the zap I got during my epidural.
I’m not sure if it’s something everyone experienced or if I should get it checked out. Any advice, ideas, etc is very welcome. I am starting a partially physical laborer job and want to make sure this isn’t something that could possibly put my in danger hauling the product or when I’m running the machinery.

by Asma bint Shameem
A new kind of calamity has hit the muslim world especially those living in non-Muslim lands.
Our muslim girls are marrying non-Muslim men and nobody seems to care!
This is happening left and right...in families that are practicing muslims and in families that are not so practicing.
Is that really allowed?
What does Islaam say about that?
Let's take a look.
🍃Allaah says:
وَلَا تُنكِحُوا الْمُشْرِكِينَ حَتَّى يُؤْمِنُوا
"And give not (your daughters) in marriage to Al-Mushrikoon till they believe (in Allaah Alone)" (Surah al-Baqarah :221)
Here Allaah is telling us directly...clear and straight.
"Do not give your daughters to non Muslim men."
Simple as that. The Order couldn't be more straightforward or clearer.
🍃In the tafseer of this aayah, at-Tabari said:
"What Allaah, Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala means in this verse is that He has forbidden believing women to marry a mushrik (polytheist) of any type. So do not, O Muslim men, give them (Muslim women) in marriage to them (mushrikeen), for that is forbidden to you."
(Tafseer at-Tabari, 4/370)
🍃And Al-Qurtubi said:
"And give not (your daughters) in marriage to Al-Mushrikoon" means do not give a Muslim woman in marriage to a mushrik. The ummah is unanimously agreed that a mushrik should not marry a believing woman under any circumstances, because that undermines Islam." (Tafseer al-Qurtubi (3/72)
🍃Al-Baghawi said:
"And give not (your daughters) in marriage to Al-Mushrikoon till they believe (in Allah Alone)" - there is consensus on this point: it is not permissible for a Muslim woman to marry a mushrik man."
🍃In another aayah, Allaah says:
يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا إِذَا جَاءَكُمُ الْمُؤْمِنَاتُ مُهَاجِرَاتٍ فَامْتَحِنُوهُنَّ اللَّهُ أَعْلَمُ بِإِيمَانِهِنَّ فَإِنْ عَلِمْتُمُوهُنَّ مُؤْمِنَاتٍ فَلَا تَرْجِعُوهُنَّ إِلَى الْكُفَّارِ لَا هُنَّ حِلٌّ لَّهُمْ وَلَا هُمْ يَحِلُّونَ لَهُنَّ وَآتُوهُم مَّا أَنفَقُوا
"O you who believe! When believing women come to you as emigrants, examine them, Allaah knows best as to their Faith. Then if you ascertain that they are true believers, send them not back to the disbelievers, they are not lawful (wives) for the disbelievers nor are the disbelievers lawful (husbands) for them." (Surah al-Mumtahinah :10)
Here Allaah is directly addressing us as believers.
"O you who believe..."
Isn't that you and me?
Yes, it is.
WE claim to believe.
So pay attention.
Our Rabb is calling out to you and me and telling us straight up that disbelieving men are NOT LAWFUL for believing women.
🍃Regarding this aayah, Ibn Katheer said:
"Allaah says: "they are not lawful (wives) for the disbelievers nor are the disbelievers lawful (husbands) for them". This verse is the one which prohibited Muslim women to mushrik men."
(Tafseer al-Qur'an al-'Azeem, 13/521)
It's as simple as that. No ifs and buts about it.
🔴 Such a marriage is NOT valid!
That's because one of the conditions of a valid Islaamic marriage is that the man should be Muslim.
If a muslim woman marries a non-Muslim man, this marriage is NOT A marriage in the eyes of the Shari'ah.
This woman is making a grave error and is guilty of committing zina!
May Allaah protect us.
🍃Statement of the Islamic Fiqh Council regarding this matter:
"Marriage of a kaafir to a Muslim woman is haraam and is not permissible, according to scholarly consensus, and there is no doubt about that because of what is stated in the shar'i texts." (Fataawa Islamiyyah (3/231)
🍃Just look at the rulings on such a woman!
"If a Muslim woman marries a non-Muslim man, knowing the ruling thereon, then she is a zaaniyah and is subject to the hadd punishment for zina.(Ya Allaah!!!)
If she was unaware of the ruling, then she is excused, but they must be separated, with no need for talaaq (divorce), because the marriage is invalid in the first place."
(Islamqa)
Astaghfirullaah!
Do we need any more proof than this?!
🛑 Should I go to such a wedding if I'm invited?
NO we should not be going to such a wedding that's not valid in the sight of Allaah.
If we take part in something that's haraam, then we're indirectly condoning that haraam.
In fact this is cooperating in sin and transgression, which itself is a sin.
🍃 Allaah says:
"And cooperate in righteousness and piety, but do not cooperate in sin and aggression" (Surah al-Maa'idah :2)
🛑 What should I do?
Part of our being a Muslim is to enjoin the good and forbid the evil.
So here's what we can do depending on the situation.

1. If it's possible, go talk to the parties involved and help the man to understand and accept Islaam and say the Shahadah. That is the best scenario.
   
2. If he does not want to become Muslim, then explain to them how this marriage would not be valid and try to talk them out of it.
   
3. If they don't listen and still want to carry on with this adulterous relationship then simply DO NOT attend this so-called 'wedding' and be devastated about it in your heart. But at least you did your job.
   

🍃The Prophet sal Allaahu Alayhi wa sallam said:
"Whoever among you sees an evil action, let him change it with his hand [by taking action]; if he cannot, then with his tongue [by speaking out]; and if he cannot, then with his heart [by at least hating it and believing that it is wrong], and that is the weakest of faith." (Muslim)
🛑 But I love the man!
Many sisters 'think' they 'love' the non-Muslim man and they can't live without them.
Dear sister, this just a trick of the Shaytaan.
This so-called 'Love' for a non-Muslim man will destroy your dunya and Aakhirah, UNLESS he accepts Islaam and sincerely becomes Muslim.
Just think about it!
If the marriage is against the orders of Allaah, how can their be Khair in it?!
How can their be peace, love and happiness in it?!
How can there be ANY Barakah in it if you'll displease Allaah?!
Actually, it's better for you to marry a SLAVE who's Muslim rather than marry a free man who's not a Muslim.
🍃Allaah says:
And verily, a believing slave is better than a (free) Mushrik (idolater), even though he pleases you. Those (Al-Mushrikoon) invite you to the Fire, but Allaah invites (you) to Paradise and forgiveness by His Leave"
(Surah al-Baqarah :221)
🍃Imam al-Tabari said:
What is said concerning the interpretation of the words "And give not (your daughters) in marriage to Al-Mushrikoon till they believe (in Allaah Alone) and verily, a believing slave is better than a (free) Mushrik (idolater), even though he pleases you" is that what Allaah meant by that is that Allaah has forbidden the believing women from marrying to a mushrik, no matter what kind of shirk he believes in. So, O believers, do not give your daughters in marriage to them, for that is forbidden to you. For you to give them in marriage to a believing slave who believes in Allaah and His Messenger and that which he brought from Allaah is better for you than to give them in marriage to a free mushrik even if he is of noble descent and honourable origins, even if you like his descent and background...
🛑 But then, why are Muslim MEN allowed to marry a woman of the People of the Book?
First of all, when Allaah and His Messenger have ordered us something there's no arguing about it or any other way around it.
We have to listen and obey.
🍃Allaah says:
"It is not for a believer, man or woman, when Allaah and His Messenger have decreed a matter that they should have any option in their decision. And whoever disobeys Allaah and His Messenger, he has indeed strayed in a plain error" (Surah al-Ahzaab :36)
So if we are believers, we obey.
That's what BELIEVERS do.
....even if they don't understand it.
Just obey.
No questions asked.
THAT is true submission to Allaah.
THAT is Islaam.
🍃 Allaah says:
"The only saying of the faithful believers, when they are called to Allaah (His Words, His Orders) and His Messenger to judge between them, is that they say: 'We hear and we obey.' And such are the prosperous ones (who will live forever in Paradise).
And whosoever obeys Allaah and His Messenger, fears Allaah, and keeps his duty (to Him), such are the successful ones"
(Surah an-Noor :51-52)
Even if there were no other reasons, and no other explanations except this one, that would be ENOUGH for us as Muslims to obey Allaah's Command.
But for those who want further explanation:
As Muslims we believe Allaah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aalaa is al-Hakeem, al-'Aleem, the Most-Wise, the Most-Knowledgable.
There is a reason for everything He does. And He knows better.
Allaah has allowed the Muslim man to marry a woman who's a Christian or a Jew and NOT ALLOWED a Muslim woman to marry a nom-Muslim man because of several reasons:
A) The man is in a position of leadership over the woman, and it is not allowed for a non-Muslim to be in a position of leadership over a Muslim woman.
🍃The Prophet sal Allaahu Alayhi wa sallam said:
"Islam prevails and is not prevailed over." (al-Daaraqutni and others -hasan by al-Albaani)
B) Allaah tells us in the Qur'aan that men are 'qawwaam' over their wives, meaning they're in charge.
The husband is the leader or head of the household and his status within the family is higher than that of his wife.
Because of this higher position, if a muslim woman were to marry a non-Muslim man, the husband would influence his wife in a negative way and make her leave her Deen or at least be very lax about it.
He would not be helping her to obey Allaah and in fact he would be an impediment in doing that. And would be an obstruction between her and Jannah.
C) The higher status of the husband will also influence the children to follow their father's religion, which would be nothing short of a DISASTER for the family, if these children grow up to be non-Muslim.
🛑Conclusion
Faith is not just words, my sister, unless it's accompanied by ACTIONS.
If Allaah has prohibited Muslim women from marrying non-Muslim men, even if they're from the People of the Book, then we have to submit to that order and accept it without any qualms about it.
Allaah's Guidance is the best guidance and His Way is the best way.
Alhamdulillaah.
رَضِيتُ بِاللَّهِ رَبًّا ، وَبِالْإِسْلَامِ دِينًا ، وَبِمُحَمَّدٍ رَسُولًا
"I am pleased with Allah as my Lord, with Islam as my religion and with Muhammad (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) as my Prophet"
And Allaah knows best.

Comprehensive Review of CogniCare Pro: Is It the Right Cognitive Enhancement for You?

Introduction

What Is CogniCare Pro?

CogniCare Pro is a cognitive enhancement supplement designed to improve mental clarity, memory, and overall brain health. Aimed at individuals seeking to enhance their cognitive functions, this product claims to support better brain performance through a blend of natural ingredients.

Why Review CogniCare Pro?

Understanding the effectiveness of CogniCare Pro is crucial for consumers considering this supplement as part of their daily routine. This review aims to provide an in-depth analysis, helping potential users make informed decisions.

Who Should Read This Review?

This review is tailored for individuals seeking cognitive enhancement, including students, professionals, and seniors. It will benefit anyone looking to improve their mental acuity and overall brain health.

Product Background

Who Makes CogniCare Pro?

CogniCare Pro is produced by a reputable company known for its commitment to quality and innovation in the health supplement industry. Their products are designed to meet high standards of efficacy and safety.

How Did CogniCare Pro Develop Over Time?

The development of CogniCare Pro involved extensive research and testing to create a formula that effectively supports cognitive functions. Over the years, it has evolved to incorporate the latest scientific findings in neuroenhancement.

How Does CogniCare Pro Compare in the Market?

In a competitive market, CogniCare Pro stands out due to its unique blend of ingredients and proven benefits. Compared to other cognitive enhancers, it promises superior results with fewer side effects.

Features and Specifications

What Are the Core Features of CogniCare Pro?

CogniCare Pro boasts a range of features designed to boost cognitive performance, including:

• Enhanced memory retention
• Improved focus and concentration
• Increased mental clarity

What Are the Technical Specifications?

Each capsule of CogniCare Pro contains a proprietary blend of natural ingredients known for their cognitive benefits. The supplement is designed for daily use, with recommended dosages specified on the packaging.

How User-Friendly Is CogniCare Pro?

The product is user-friendly, with clear instructions and minimal side effects reported. The capsules are easy to incorporate into daily routines, making cognitive enhancement accessible and convenient.

Performance

How Efficient Is CogniCare Pro?

Users report noticeable improvements in cognitive functions within a few weeks of regular use. The supplement is praised for its rapid onset of benefits, particularly in enhancing memory and focus.

Is CogniCare Pro Reliable and Stable?

Reliability is a key strength of CogniCare Pro. It consistently delivers results, and its effects are sustained over long-term use. The stability of its formulation ensures users can trust in its ongoing efficacy.

How Does CogniCare Pro Compare to Competitors?

When compared to similar products, CogniCare Pro often outperforms due to its well-researched formula and high-quality ingredients. Users find it more effective and better tolerated than many other cognitive enhancers on the market.

User Experience

How Easy Is It to Use CogniCare Pro?

Ease of use is a significant advantage of CogniCare Pro. The capsules are simple to take, and the clear dosage guidelines help users incorporate them effortlessly into their daily routines.

What Is Customer Support Like?

Customer support for CogniCare Pro is highly responsive and helpful. Users can expect quick resolutions to their queries and reliable guidance on product use.

What Do Real Users Say?

Testimonials from real users highlight positive experiences, with many praising the significant cognitive improvements they have experienced. These testimonials lend credibility and provide prospective users with confidence in the product.

Benefits

What Cognitive Enhancements Does CogniCare Pro Offer?

CogniCare Pro is designed to enhance various cognitive functions, including memory, focus, and overall mental clarity. Users often report feeling more alert and mentally sharp after consistent use.

How Does CogniCare Pro Impact Health and Wellness?

Beyond cognitive benefits, CogniCare Pro supports overall brain health. Its natural ingredients contribute to long-term wellness, helping to protect against age-related cognitive decline.

What Are the Unique Selling Points?

Unique selling points of CogniCare Pro include its all-natural formulation, the absence of harmful side effects, and its ability to deliver noticeable improvements in a short time frame.

Pricing and Value

What Are the Pricing Plans for CogniCare Pro?

CogniCare Pro is available in various pricing plans to suit different budgets. These include single-bottle purchases and multi-bottle packages, often with discounts for bulk buys.

How Does the Cost Compare to the Benefits?

The cost of CogniCare Pro is justified by the substantial cognitive benefits it offers. Users find the investment worthwhile given the product’s efficacy and long-term advantages.

Are There Any Discounts and Offers?

Frequent promotions and discounts make CogniCare Pro an even more attractive option. New users can often find introductory offers that reduce the initial cost of trying the product.

Pros and Cons

What Are the Advantages of CogniCare Pro?

Advantages of CogniCare Pro include:

• Effective cognitive enhancement
• High-quality, natural ingredients
• User-friendly and convenient

What Are the Disadvantages?

Potential disadvantages might include:

• Cost, which can be higher than some alternatives
• Availability, as it may not be widely available in all regions

What Areas Need Improvement?

Areas for improvement could involve expanding availability and offering more competitive pricing plans for all users.

Expert Opinions

What Do Professionals Say About CogniCare Pro?

Health professionals often endorse CogniCare Pro for its scientifically backed formulation and proven benefits. They appreciate its comprehensive approach to cognitive enhancement.

What Are the Endorsements and Criticisms?

Endorsements typically highlight the product’s effectiveness and safety. Criticisms, when present, usually focus on the cost or individual variations in response.

Has CogniCare Pro Received Industry Recognition?

CogniCare Pro has received various industry accolades, reflecting its status as a leading cognitive enhancement supplement. These recognitions underscore its quality and efficacy.

Conclusion

What Are the Key Points?

Key points include the product’s effectiveness, ease of use, and substantial cognitive benefits. Its natural ingredients and lack of side effects are major advantages.

What Is the Final Verdict?

The final verdict is that CogniCare Pro is a highly effective cognitive enhancer that delivers on its promises. It is a valuable investment for anyone seeking to improve their mental performance.

What Are the Recommendations?

Recommendations for potential users are to consider their specific cognitive needs and consult with a healthcare provider to ensure CogniCare Pro is suitable for them. Starting with a trial period can also help gauge individual effectiveness.

Additional Resources

What Related Products Should You Consider?

Related products that users might consider include other cognitive enhancers from reputable brands, as well as supplements that support overall brain health.

Where Can You Find Further Reading and Links?

Further reading and links can be found on the CogniCare Pro website, which provides detailed information about the product, its ingredients, and scientific studies supporting its efficacy.

How Can You Contact CogniCare Pro?

For more information or to purchase the product, users can contact CogniCare Pro through their official website or customer service hotline.
This comprehensive review should help users make an informed decision about CogniCare Pro, ensuring they understand all aspects of the product before making a purchase.

I asked chat gpt!
Question: In a hypothetical parallel world in which ai casts all votes in UK elections, who would you vote for?
Answer: In a hypothetical world where AI casts all votes in UK elections, the AI would base its decisions on maximizing the overall well-being of society, using data and objective criteria. Here's how it might decide:

1. Data-Driven Decision Making: The AI would analyze data on economic performance, healthcare outcomes, environmental sustainability, education quality, and social equality to determine which policies have been most effective.
   
2. Sustainability and Long-Term Planning: Policies that prioritize environmental sustainability and long-term societal benefits would be favored, given the importance of addressing climate change and ensuring resources for future generations.
   
3. Social Equity and Welfare: The AI would likely support policies that reduce income inequality, ensure access to healthcare and education, and promote social welfare, based on evidence that more equitable societies tend to perform better overall.
   
4. Stability and Peace: Policies that promote political and economic stability, reduce conflict, and foster international cooperation would be preferred to maintain global peace and prosperity.
   

Based on these criteria, the AI might vote for a party that:

• Has a strong environmental policy.
• Promotes social equity and robust public services.
• Advocates for stable and sustainable economic growth.
• Supports inclusive and fair immigration policies.
• Values international cooperation and positive global relations.

In the UK, such policies are often associated with parties like Labour or the Green Party. Therefore, in this hypothetical scenario, the AI might vote for one of these parties.