Where can i get underwear catologs

Recently I went through some exams which I wasn't too worried about at the start, but due to technical difficulties, ended up being an absolute nightmare. The experience was probably some of the darkest times in my life so far. These exams are what decide whether I get to go to university or not, and lost work meant that they went wrong - really wrong. After being approved for extra time and multiple sequential sleepless nights filled with blood sweat and tears, I managed to recover my project and get it to a state where I was relatively happy with it. I thought that after the nightmare was over I could go back to feeling myself, the confidence I had before the experience. But I haven't.
The weekend after I finished I went back home to visit friends and had a wonderful few days with them. These are people I miss dearly since I moved, so seeing them is always a great way for me to decompress. I felt myself again and it was amazing. However when I came home I just began to spiral. I don't even find myself worrying about the exams specifically, I just feel lonely and empty. Physically, I feel run down. Mentally, I feel drained and alone. I had all these plans for personal projects to work on with my free time that I have been looking forward to for months but now that I have the time any attempts at working on them leave me feeling defeated. Even my own hobbies, things I usually do to relax, just bore me. I have no confidence, I have no life, I don't know what I can do to fix it.
This was supposed to be the light at the end of the tunnel, I'm supposed to be enjoying the summer. I feel like a fraud, nothing particularly bad is going on in my life right now but I still feel like this, why?
I have spent years trying to build my self back up from some dark times in my past, and I have felt fortunate enough to be able to say I am happy in recent times. But I feel like I'm slipping, in fact I feel worse than I ever have right now. The fact that merely a set of bad of exams was able to knock me so far makes me question whether I ever really made any progress in the first place.
I don't really know what this post was for, I think I just wanted to put things into words. Thanks for reading.

Hey!
So if one wanted a mentocourse on how to manage government contracts - where would they go? KPC & Wes Fisher both have me on a waiting list and after getting super invested in learning earlier this year and having the air taken out of my tires a bit - really want to get reinvested in learning all I can to make managing government contracts a viable business!
The ‘air taken out of the tires’ was some confusion over one of the regulations in the FARs, forget which one (in my reddit post history somewhere, once I find it I’ll edit this post), that stipulated some amount of work had to be done by the primary contractor holder - realized it’s different for every contract and I had a mix of answers! Getting into the product side, heard of those that had trouble getting set up with GPO and I let that dissuade me. Not going to let it happen again, I’m super passionate about making this work.
Also, my partner in doing this would be a woman, if we registered the business in her name could we get woman-owned business set-asides? The FARs regulation I mentioned earlier would apply there, would it not?
Know it’s a lot of questions, just wanna soak up all the information I can.
Primarily: What is the best teaching source on going from A - Z through the process if I wanted to ‘manage’ (middle-man) government contracts? I know they’re all cut from a different cloth and in my experience only some have that specific FARs regulation applied to them, as well as most (maybe all?) set-asides, if I’m not wrong?
Thank you!

As I’ve hit my 40s it takes me longer and longer to finish any movie or show. Constant pausing to pee, take care of a kid or an animal, or to look up who that actor is, I know I’ve seen him before but dammit I can’t remember from where, and somehow a movie I started at 7 still is only halfway done at 9. Just a me thing or is it a getting older thing? I wrote this as I’m 47 minutes into a movie at 8:30 that I started at 6:45…

One objective of service bus is to allow the sender and the receiver to operate at their own speed. The sender can send as many messages as they want and if the receiver can not keep up, a service bus allows it to pluck the messages off in it's own time.
Does this apply for PaaS services like azure functions (for both consumption or ASP if there are different answers)?
Would it ever get to a stage where it cannot receive the traffic and need a service bus?
I also note that azure functions have an SLA of 99.95% whereas service bus is only 99.9% so does that mean if anything it is more reliable?

Not a super bad horror story but one that’s followed me for a while.
I started playing tabletop games around 14 years ago and I’m honestly surprised I still love them with the way I was treated at first. So I met a guy who introduced me to a group because he heard I wanted to try out roleplaying games. I had dabbled a bit in middle and high school but nothing stuck so hearing I had another chance made me really excited. He went on and on about his Shadowrun game and how all of his friends had stories about their characters and how they’d been playing for years. That really excited me because I wanted to be apart of a long running campaign and really develop a cool character. So he gets me involved and I thought that I had made friends with a really cool group of people.
First session happens and I come up with a slick talking face for the group who focused on being a getaway driver. Unfortunately some bad decisions and rolls later and he ends up getting gunned down trying to protect the group during our first run. Honestly it was a bit disheartening but then understood this was part of the game and just shook it off because everyone told me “that’s just part of the game.” I still had a really good time.
I really wished I knew what was coming.
Fast forward a bit and I got to play a new character but our GM wanted to try a new game and enter Scions.
For those of you not familiar, it’s a really fun game where all the PC’s play children of Gods from a bunch of different pantheons. You can also make your own birthrights to make magical items and such to give your characters a bonus.
My first one was a street tough who was a follower of Baron Samedi. A dude who was all about causing havoc and having fun. No one really involved him or liked him so I just took it up as me being new and trying too hard. So when the time came I made another character.
This one was a doctor who really wanted to help every single person who he could regardless of income and became a child of Athena and my plan was play him as a more passive character. So a point came up where a bunch of skeletons where stuck in the river stix which was transferred in this sewers. Nothing was working so I tried to “heal” the river. Bad idea but what else could we do? It ended up with my character’s arms being turned into bone. Another character down and the laughter ensues. Okay, yeah not the best idea but I tried.
That was when it all started. Everyone thought it was hilarious when I died and then made it a point to kill me whenever they could. A tank character? Oh here’s a magical being that kills you with one blow and vaporized you. A fighter? Oh he got past your armor and cuts you in two.
It got so bad that during Christmas another player made a bag for me that said “Make a New Character” with a reticle on a person’s head as if they were being targeted. Everyone laughed and so did I to not make a scene but I kept asking what was wrong with me or my characters.
I carried that with me for years that I was bad at games until I realized it was just a bad group. They bullied me constantly with so many work arounds and rules breaking to make a joke at my expense.
These days I tend to be the forever GM and always and I always remember those moments and try my best to be fair when it comes to my player’s characters because I still remember how much that hurt

Hello redditors of antiMLM,
Just this week, I received an email from a relation advertising FOREVER—not to be confused with Forever Living. Searching through this sub, I found a few short references over the last years with little detail. In one, a commentor described FOREVER stating "as mlms go, it seems ethical." Every red light went off while I looked into these “FOREVER Ambassadors.” I then began a search, with much of the ultimate work done by my spouse. It took longer than seemed acceptable to identify this MLM for people who glanced over the internet. FOREVER is not listed on any of the MLM databases I could find from this sub or elsewhere. Based on the mandatory “FOREVER Ambassador Community” on Facebook, now 8 years old, at least 2,500 people have gotten into their clutches at some point (I haven’t linked because I think it might be against the sub rules).
Thus, for the benefit and enjoyment of the people, here are references for the community to identify a yet-another-multi-level-marketing scheme. I am a sarcastic person, so be forewarned. All sources were publicly available and required no logins or access.
TABLE OF CONTENTS
(1) Background of the FOREVER business model
(2) The FOREVER Ambassador program
(3) Costs of serving as an Ambassador
(4) Compensation advertised for Ambassadors
(4a) Income in cash from personal sales
(4b) The downline system used by FOREVER
(4c) Non-monetary-achievement compensation
(5) FOREVER Ambassador Business Training
(6) Conclusion down to brass tax on FOREVER
STUDY OF FOREVER
(1) Background of the FOREVER business model
FOREVER is an online service that advertises it can be a “permanent digital home that lasts for many generations.”[1] This is to be accomplished via a so-called “FOREVER Guarantee Fund” that invests to pay for digital storage for over 100 years.[1] Their website promises me that “permanent” is “not a buzzword”—I think that’s the Platonian ideal of a buzzword.[1] Regardless, this is not a quality review post.
(2) The FOREVER Ambassador program
The sellers used by FOREVER are called “FOREVER Ambassadors.”[2] As advertised, it looks like a classic MLM pitch. You can “earn up to 35%” commission” while having “the freedom to work from home, and the flexibility to make money on your own schedule.”[2] FOREVER lists various opportunities, such as “trainings” and the ability to “learn and grow with friends,” as well as “make life-long friends.”[2] As part of the “Meet our Team” webpage for corporate FOREVER, there are multiple “Executive Ambassadors” listed.[3] There is no barrier to entry on experience required to become an Ambassador.[4] I observed that, throughout the internet and on the FOREVER website, the vast majority of Ambassadors are women—as you know, many MLMs target women and moms.
(3) Costs of serving as an Ambassador
FOREVER has, at minimum, an “Annual Ambassador Fee” that is the primary cost to entry of the program.[2] For $179 a year, one would receive “back office tools,” various marketing materials, and “countless opportunities”—maybe money, but more on that soon.[2] There is a link to an Ambassador’s own selling website.[5, at 22] This Ambassador fee “is subject to change over time.”[5, at 25] There is also a FOREVER Merchandise store where Ambassadors can get their supplies.[6] These include a 40-pack set of catalogs for $44.99 and a $144.99 tablecloth for potential customers during in-person events.[6]
For Ambassadors, FOREVER advertises there are “free training events.”[5, at 25] Each year, for $399 in 2024, Ambassadors can attend the 3-day “FOREVER Live” event.[7] It is in the destination getaway of… next to their headquarters in Pittsburgh, PA (I’m sorry Pittsburgh, you’re a beautiful city).[5, at 24] It is also possible to pay for a “p2P Virtual Party” and “p2P Live Events,” but is unclear what those mean.[5, at 5] Various “ranks” of Ambassadors receive a “monthly stipend” starting at $25 a month after $15,000 total in personal plus team sales a year.[5, at 9]
(4) Compensation advertised for Ambassadors
(4a) Income in cash from personal sales
FOREVER pays its Ambassadors based on a “cash sales” versus “full sales” system.[5, at 5] The too-long-didn’t-read summary is that some products are paid less commission than others because of “margin” of different products.[5, at 5–6] Critically, the Personal Commission Rate is where our story kicks into gear. At the bottom, an Ambassador who sells less than $2,000 a year in sales receives the windfall of a 15% commission.[5, at 7] The number rises to 34% once sales are $90,000 or greater in one year (I don’t know where the 35% from earlier went).[5, at 7] However, to earn the 20% commission or more once one passes the $2,000 sales amount requires completion of the “FOREVER Ambassador Business (FAB) Training.”[5, at 7] I read it, more on that later.
You might ask, “Is there a sales quota for FOREVER® Ambassadors?” FOREVER says “no.”[8] However, the less one does the less FOREVER pays Ambassadors for what they do (this chart is older than the Compensation Guide cited).[8]
(4b) The downline system used by FOREVER
Of course, while it took forever to reach here, we come to the “downline” process—FOREVER’s words, not mine.[5, at 9] FOREVER immediately identified that new Ambassadors “choose another Ambassador to mentor you as you grow your business” (I do not know if this means an upline).[2] Nevertheless, “Team Sales” are compensated by FOREVER down to the 5th Line.[5, at 9] If an Ambassador does not build a team, then they do not earn Team Commissionable Cash Sales Commissions.[5, at 9] FOREVER states that getting new Ambassadors “to sign up under your name” is how you help “further your business.”[9]
However, even if an Ambassador builds a team, they receive a very restricted downline compensation if they do not make a minimum of personal sales.[5, at 9] For future reference, an “Associate Ambassador,” the bottom, makes less than $2,000 and earns no downline sales.[5, at 9] An “Ambassador,” second to last, is the first rank with a downline commission (4% for 1st Line), requiring $2,000/personal a year.[5, at 9] To reach “Senior Ambassador,” third to last, and above, a FOREVER Ambassador must start earning exponentially greater amounts of personal plus team sales to rise in the “ranks.”[5, at 9] A Senior Ambassador requires $8,000/personal but $15,000/gross, and is the first to get 2nd Line commission (4% for 1st Line and 2% for 2nd Line).[5, at 9] It is unclear to me if “new members” must be recruited “each month” to rankup—the website says so, but I see it nowhere in the Compensation Guide.[8]
At the top of hierarchy, there become two “Executive Ambassadors.”[5, at 9–10] These ranks start at $28,000/personal and $250,000/gross a year.[5, at 9] As well, one must have at least three “Team Leaders” in their 1st Line.[5, at 10] Team Leaders refers to Ambassadors who have themselves reached the rank of “Associate Lead Ambassador” ($12,000/personal and $30,000/gross).[5, at 9] FOREVER advertises that the Executive ranks are for—and I am not making this up—those Ambassadors who are “grooming FOREVER Leaders on your team below you.”[5, at 10] Irony is dead folks.
(4c) Non-monetary-achievement compensation
Because being paid to work is overrated, FOREVER will also provide “Additional Benefits” to its various ranks. As an Associate Ambassador, you can join the aforementioned Facebook Group and hear the CEO talk on a monthly phone call.[5, at 11] Regular Ambassadors also get a certificate to put on their wall.[5, at 11] Senior Ambassadors get a standing ovation at FOREVER Live!—you can even be ovated on stage as an Associate Lead Ambassador (I would pay $179 a year to not).[5, at 13–14] My observation is that a lot of ranks mostly provide additional types of standing ovations at FOREVER Live! and reserved seats for dinners there.
But then you can reach the pinnacle of Everest (that much like the real one, other people just carry you up there): the Million Dollar Club.[5, at 20] For making $1 million in personal and team sales in a year, one will earn a single $10,000 dollar bonus.[5, at 20] If you are then a “top-performing Ambassador,” one can be taken on the “Achievement Gathering,” to Jamaica in 2024, to mill around with other top-performing Ambassadors—and the corporate staff.[5, at 24] There is no mention how many people earn it or how much must be earned.[5, at 24]
(5) FOREVER Ambassador Business Training
I mentioned earlier that Ambassadors must complete a “FAB” training to receive more than 15% in commissions.[5, at 7] To hit this post home, I wanted to identify some highlights. The FAB training has 5 Steps to reach regular Ambassador status.[10, at 4] These Steps include such activities as “Meet with your Upline” (Step 1), “Connect with your Upline” (Step 2), “Meet with your Upline” (Step 3), “Meet with your Upline” (Step 4), and “Meet with your Upline” (Step 5).[10, at 7, 10, 12, 14, 16] You also have to join the FOREVER Facebook group and any created by your Team (just “ask your Upline” to find it).[10, at 6–7] There’s a task in Step 2 to create an introductory “Share List,” with five lines each for “Friends,” “Teachers,” and your own “Parents/Grandparents.”[10, at 7–9] For an unclear number of hours, you must attend multiple weekly and monthly “training opportunities” and “calls.”[10, at 6–7, 10] And one last item, to rank up in FOREVER, you must register for an upcoming event.[10, at 12] As of writing, the only one listed on the linked webpage is the $399 FOREVER Live! conference.[11]
(6) Conclusion down to brass tax on FOREVER
I was unable to find an Income Disclosure Statement for FOREVER. However, basic math tells us that an Associate Ambassador, the bottom, can only earn up to $300 a year.[5, at 11] To reach regular Ambassador, which includes signing up and beginning all the time sinks listed above, the maximum personal commission is $1,200, in addition to whatever downline (however big those are on average).[5, at 11] Without a downline, even the top-bracket personal sellers are the only ones to earn more than $30,000 a year.[5, at 7] The Federal Reserve Bank of St. Louis estimates that the Real Median Personal Income in the United States for 2022 was $40,480.[12]
There is one way to make it with FOREVER: to build a downline. It’s a multi-level-marketing scheme, and no one should join it. Unless of course, you want to join my downline—I promise you'll be rich just like me.
LIST OF REFERENCES
[1] “Our Story,” FOREVER.com (accessed May 18, 2024), https://www.forever.com/our-story
[2] “Become a FOREVER Ambassador,” FOREVER.com (accessed May 18, 2024), https://www.forever.com/opportunity
[3] “Meet Our Team,” FOREVER.com (accessed May 18, 2024), https://www.forever.com/our-story/team
[4] “What is required of me as a FOREVER Ambassador?,” FOREVER.com Support (accessed May 18, 2024 [updated “2 years ago”]), https://support.forever.com/hc/en-us/articles/215823437-What-is-required-of-me-as-a-FOREVER-Ambassador
[5] Ambassador Compensation Guide, FOREVER (Jan. 31, 2024), https://www.forever.com/app/users/forevealbums/ambassador-kit/f3ii4wzeewd0nfwg4nb40kyw1/files/1043b0c6-de01-4aff-a1e3-83db7e6b1b17
[6] “FOREVER Merchandise,” FOREVER.com Ambassador Training (accessed May 18, 2024), https://www.training.forever.com/store
[7] “FOREVER Live! 2024,” FOREVER.com (accessed May 18, 2024), https://www.forever.com/events/forever-live-2024
[8] “Is there a sales quota for FOREVER® Ambassadors?,” FOREVER.com Support (accessed May 18, 2024 [updated “2 years ago”]), https://support.forever.com/hc/en-us/articles/215142548-Is-there-a-sales-quota-for-FOREVER-Ambassadors
[9] “Downline,” FOREVER.com Support (accessed May 18, 2024 [updated “2 years ago”]), https://support.forever.com/hc/en-us/articles/221072448-Downline
[10] FOREVER Ambassador Business Training, FOREVER (May 14, 2024), https://www.forever.com/app/users/ambassador-training/albums/02-forever-ambassador-business-training-booklet/qcg622q43zy6835w9ojq3wkw/files/f0bd2387-bb14-43a2-a46d-344a91470147
[11] “Events,” FOREVER.com (accessed May 18, 2024), https://www.forever.com/events
[12] “Real Median Personal Income in the United States,” Federal Reserve of St. Louis (accessed May 18, 2024), https://fred.stlouisfed.org/series/MEPAINUSA672N
POST EDITS
A few formatting errors and a minor phrasing correction.

In hindsight, I should have known something was wrong with The Caeles Academy of Acting.
Maybe the fact that it doesn't exist to the outside world.
This place prided itself on famous alumni it didn't actually name, and a once in a lifetime opportunity to work with the best in the business.
It's what I wanted.
More than anything.
After enduring four years of high school with barely a semblance of a drama club (we met every month, and our teacher was an alcoholic), and countless failed auditions, I was ready to take my acting career seriously. I had one year.
According to my parents, I had one year to make a living from my passion.
If it didn't work out, I would be on the first plane back to Connecticut.
It's not like they didn't trust me. I think they were just scared I wouldn't be able to financially support myself. So, I got a job right out of high school and slipped a year. Drama schools are expensive, and college’s are cut-throat on who they take on. I found Caeles Academy by accident–or, I guess it found me?
After researching cheap drama classes, auditions, academy’s, literally anything to progress my career, an ad popped up.
Not exactly flashy.
Just a date, a time, and a promise that they only take the best. I ignored it, but throughout the week, I started getting more ads. Just the words, “IMPRESS US - - JOIN CAELES ACADEMY NOW.”
Followed by, “BE WITH THE BEST, AND BE THE BEST. JOIN THE S CLASS NOW.”
When I googled the academy, nothing came up.
I gave up, clicking on the ad, which sent me straight to an application form.
I filled in my details as more of a joke. But I wasn't expecting to get an email back. Again, it was a time, a date, and that exact same tagline: “Impress us.”
However, Caeles Academy was different from what I imagined.
I was expecting a university building, or at least some modern structure. Judging from their marketing and ads, I figured they could at least afford decent premises. Though I was mistaken. When I stepped out of the Uber, I found myself staring at what looked like an abandoned office tower, a red-brick monolith in the middle of nowhere.
Which was crazy, because I swore a girl wearing a bikini had strode through the doors, with nothing but her phone, and a coffee tucked under her elbow.
According to the text sent from the academy, the auditioning rooms were on the third floor.
Tipping my head back, the checkerboard of broken windows didn't exactly instil confidence. Neither did the clunky set of automatic doors that took a while to open. It was a summer's day, and the heat was already baking through my dress, sweat sticky on the back of my neck.
I wanted to make a good impression, but the heels were a little over the top.
Though I had also seen a girl casually walk in wearing a two piece bikini.
“Well?”
Freddie’s voice made me jump. I forgot I was on the phone to him. I was excited the whole car-ride, already high on five coffees, and now I was silent. If I perceived the ‘academy’ from an objective standpoint, it definitely looked like the perfect place to be brutally murdered. But my own personal opinion was it was.. okay.
“What's it like?”
I pretended not to see a rat scuttling under an old candy wrapper.
“It's… fine.”
“Just fine?”
I could hear the smirk in my friend’s tone. He couldn't wait to tell me it was a scam, and had been reminding me all week I was essentially willingly selling myself to the black market. I was stubborn, so, fine sounded better than my initial first impression. Which was to turn around, walk away, and completely block the place from my memory.
Unfortunately, at that moment, I valued my pride over my awareness.
“It's… okay.” I said, trying to find positives. I was staring at a looming grey building with shattered windows and a resident rat living near the door. I had a hard time figuring out how the girl from earlier had just casually strode inside, barefoot too. I glanced down at the ground, immediately regretting it.
Like there weren't bits of chewing gum and grime stuck to the concrete.
“Huh.” Freddie said, his tone creeping into teasing territory. “You're really selling it.”
“It just looks like a building,” I said, my gaze glued to the rat, who looked a little too comfortable. Maybe it was a pet.
I was getting progressively more infuriated the more I stared down this place. Judging from the decades old writing ingrained into the door, it used to be a dentist surgery. “What do you want me to say?” I wasn't even trying to hide the scorn from my voice. “It's a building that looks like an academy.”
“Can you send a picture?” Freddie asked, “Ooh, wait, I'll face-time you.”
“That's, uh, that’s not really necessary–”
I was cut off, suddenly, when a guy threw himself through the automatic doors, palms first. He took two stumbled steps forwards, one back, and lifted his head, half lidded eyes on the sky, before dropping to his knees and heaving up pinkish froth. I could see him trying to hold it in, slamming his hands over his mouth, only for it to splurge through his fingers, showering the ground in greyish pink froth.
Like he'd downed a bottle of Pepto Bismol.
Inching towards him, I realized it was Pepto Bismol.
The stink made my own stomach churn.
“Missy?”
I found my voice. “Uh, can I call you back later?”
Before my friend could answer, I ended the call, slipping my phone in my pocket.
The guy was still heaving, coughing up globules of pink.
“Are you okay?”
The sound of my heels click-clacking on concrete made me cringe. The guy noticed, flinching away. Closer, and I could see his scraggly blonde hair.
He was handsome.
Without the bile spewing down his chin.
Early twenties, wearing a fitted white shirt now covered in streaks of bright pink. Part of me wanted to make a half-hearted joke, but getting even closer, so close I could smell his pepto-breath, I noticed he was trembling, his hands clenched into fists.
When I attempted to awkwardly pat him on the shoulder, he twisted around, so fast, my morning coffee slithered its way back up my throat.
His eyes were wide, almost feral, studying me like a wild animal.
I noticed the whites of his pupils were red, like he'd burst a blood vessel.
Theatre kids were intense, though I had never met THIS kind of intense.
“Are you… going in there?” The guy’s voice was a child-like whimper I wasn't expecting.
It looked like he was slowly regaining clarity, staring down at his filthy shirt, his hands stained bright pink.
I nodded, uncertainly, offering him my water. “Yeah. Did you audition?”
He shoved it away, slapping himself in the face. “I… I don't know.”
“You… don’t know?”
Suddenly, it was like something had contorted in his expression, a switch being pulled. I wasn't expecting him to twist around so fast. The guy slowly cocked his head, his lips breaking into a grin. His eyes, however, stayed the same.
“Of course I've auditioned.” He said, with a laugh.
“It was the best experience of my life! His mouth formed an almost mocking frown.
“Unfortunately, I didn't make the cut. Which is a real shame. I'm sure Caeles would have benefited from my talents.”
What was weird, is that his mouth was moving, but he wasn't even looking at me, frenzied eyes caught in an oblivion I couldn't see.
When he did look at me, his expression crumpled all over again.
Pepto jumped to his feet, brushing himself down.
I couldn't take his over the top smile seriously, when his eyes were screaming, hollowed out caverns silently begging me to listen.
This guy was fucking crazy.
“Wait.” Pepto whispered, when I turned to walk away.
He pulled out his phone, tapping the screen before shoving it in my face.
“I HAD SO MUCH FUN AT THE CAELES ACADEMY AUDITIONS :)
When I could only stare at him in confusion, Pepto’s gaze flicked to his phone, swiping bile from his lips.
His eyes went cartoon wide, like he couldn't believe what he himself was typing.
“That… that's not what I was trying to say!” He tried retyping it, but the guy was just writing strings of emoji hearts.
I didn't know what to say. I had dealt with rejection before, but I had never gone this far. Pepto was having a full on mental breakdown, his body shuddering, teeth chattering, blinking eyes and lips parting as if to speak, but choking on his words. When he started clawing out his hair, I took the opportunity to make a quick getaway.
Before I could make it to the doors, though, Pepto jumped in front of me, waving his phone directly in my face.
“Just…” he pointed at the screen. “It won't let me…” Growing frustrated with himself, he let out a wet sounding sob, clawing his fingers through his hair. “Fuck, it won't let me…it won't let me type! It's not letting me type!”
By now, he had tufts of hair stuck between his fingernails. I don't know why his first reaction was to immediately try ripping his hair out.
A quick glance at my own phone reminded me of my own audition that was in five minutes.
Meanwhile, I was dealing with what I was pretty sure was delusion, denial, or a mixture of both.
I was considering pushing past him, when Pepto’s phone screen hit me in the face. Again.
This time, though, there was coherent writing.
“FIND LUKE.”
“Luke?” I said. “Who's that?”
“Luke!” The guy was bouncing on the heels of his feet. “He's my…” Pepto drifted off, his eyes going vacant, as if I could physically see his brain being plucked from his skull. Pepto dropped his phone, and I grabbed it before it could hit the ground. His hands went to his curls, clawing, scratching, until he was drawing blood across his forehead.
“I… I don't know! I can't… I can't remember. Luke. He was my… he was my… I don't know, I can't… I can't–”
I stumbled back when he let out a shriek, scratching at his face.
“Fuck!” He whimpered. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!”
Pepto grabbed my shoulders, shaking me, his fingers digging into my skin.
“I don't know who he is.” He gritted out, pink froth pooling from his lips.
Pepto broke out into a sob. “I don't… I don't know who he is, but you can find him, right? You can… you can find…”
Again, he trailed off mid sentence, his hands going limp around my shoulders.
I managed to side step him, swallowing a cry.
“Yeah, I'll, um, I'll find him for you.”
Pepto backed away, suddenly, stumbling over himself.
His gaze found mine, vacant, like a baby deer.
“Find who?”
I didn't wait around to answer him, pushing through the doors and stepping inside.
The interior was unsurprisingly even worse than the exterior.
The elevator was broken, so I had to run up three flights of stairs.
I expected at least an attempt at an academy, even in the dregs of an old dentist surgery.
What I got, though, was a never ending staircase, obnoxious photos of teeth greeting me on every level.
The third floor was… less clinical.
I strode directly into a waiting room filled with college aged students, either sitting on plastic chairs, or standing around, rehearsing.
The room itself was cosy enough, a navy carpet and a TV playing a random Twitch stream.
Situated in the middle, was a desk with a bored looking woman behind it.
Her smile was fake. I could understand her pain. She was stuck in a room with theatre kids all day.
“Sign here.” She prodded a sheet of paper.
I was convinced her voice was AI.
While I was scribbling my details, I took a moment to notice the stark difference from the kids entering the room, to the ones leaving. The kids entering wore wide, confident smiles and were social butterflies, chatting amongst themselves.
The kids leaving reminded me of pod people.
They left the room silent, in an orderly line with dazed smiles on their faces, like they weren't sure where they were.
I watched one guy walk directly into the wall instead of taking a left toward the exit, and a girl straight up just toppled down the stairs.
The kids waiting with me named them rejects.
I wasn't convinced until I glimpsed an empty bottle of Pepto Bismol sitting on the floor by the window.
Thinking back to Pepto, that made a lot of sense.
I was still dazedly staring at the bottle, when my name was called.
Jumping to my feet, I did my best to calm myself down, straightening my ponytail. Pepto had really screwed with my head. I could barely even remember the lines I had been rehearsing for a week straight.
I was muttering my lines to myself, when I stepped through the door.
The door that apparently turned you into a pod-person on the way out.
For a moment, I thought I was blinded by stage lights.
It was so bright.
The glow bathing me was clinical, stabbing into my eyes.
When I blinked, I found myself standing in front of three shadows sitting in front of me.
Their chairs were made of leather, far different from the plastic ones in the waiting room.
So, they did have filthy cash.
I was looking at one man, and two women.
They were… average?
I expected them to be more glitzier, but they were just regular people.
The man was in his late twenties, maybe early thirties, a stiff looking brunette wearing a suit and tie, one leg crossed over the other. His eyes were narrowed slightly, lips curved into the start of a smile. Like I amused him.
The women were polar opposites.
One of them was my Mom’s age, grey hair and floral clothing. She took a sip of water, her gaze burning into me.
Google told me not to be intimidated by their stares, but it was impossible.
These people were carving holes into my skull.
Sitting next to her, a younger girl who seemed to own the color red.
Her hair simmered, blood red, while she herself was sculpted in a dress, perfect cherry lips spread in a wide smile.
With a little too many teeth.
They studied my face like I was already theirs, drinking in every inch of me.
Freddie said I had to find a weakness in their expression and use it to my advantage.
If I could find the prick of a genuine smile, I could become their favorite.
“Hi!” I said. My caffeine intake was starting to take effect.
I didn't realize I was bouncing up and down until I caught myself.
Red’s smile stretched wider.
Maybe they liked my eagerness.
“My name is Misa.” I introduced myself, staying casual, keeping my arms by my sides. “I'm twenty one years old–”
I choked on my next words when Red spoke up. “Impress us, Misa,” Her voice was a smooth, almost seductive rasp, and I felt myself fall into it, enveloped in sugar that was too sweet, and yet I couldn't stop myself. She folded her arms across her chest, her gaze challenging me to do something different. To make her want me.
“Show us something we have never seen before.” She stood up, cat-like eyes narrowing, “Show us how desperate you are to join this prestigious class.”
I nodded, and began.
I had planned a whole monologue, practised it over and over again, forcing Freddie to judge me with a none biassed opinion.
I was three lines in, when Red started laughing.
“Stop.”
I did, my cheeks heating up, and she started clapping.
“Sweetie, oh, stop, you're adorable!” She said, her lips curving into a cruel smirk.
She leaned forward, like I was something that entertained her, jostling her heeled foot. “We don't take amateurs. I think you need to go back to school.”
This woman was definitely a psychopath.
Empty eyes sparkling with a gleam that definitely enjoyed humiliating candidates, and a twisted smile that was a little too wide. Red made me want to crawl into the ground. She made me want to turn around, leave the room, and quit my dream. I was aware of my own fury, my embarrassment turning my cheeks crimson. I matched her.
Maybe that's what she wanted all along. To wear the color of her victims.
Taking a shaky step back, I started to nod, started to agree, my mouth choking with the words, “You're right. I'm sorry for wasting your time.” I had never received proper constructive criticism from a professional standpoint. Which meant I really did suck. But I didn't move. I didn't want to move, and Red continued laughing, her companions sitting in silence.
The man rolled his eyes with a loud, exaggerated sigh.
Like I was boring.
The older woman pulled out her phone.
“Misa, you are…cute.” Red said. “But you're not quite what we are looking for.”
I wasn't sure I could admit it right there, but she made me feel things.
Like I was ignited.
Like I was going to prove this crazy bitch wrong.
I found my voice, strong and confident, despite my hammering heart.
“Give me another chance.”
Red’s lips curled. “So cute, Misa. Oh, sugar bear, It would be better if you left the room. Unless you want to embarrass yourself further! In that case, be my guest!”
She turned her attention to her nails, nudging the guy.
“Dinner?” She hummed. “I'm thinking of Italian. You are quite the wine connoisseur, Nicholas. Why don't you introduce me to your favorite?”
“Hey.” I blurted.
They ignored me, getting a little too close.
I don't know why I continued, reading my lines, screaming them, so I would be heard. I read them perfectly, and tweaking the genre from drama to romance, and then to horror. I became three different characters, a high school girl struggling with cancer, a final girl, and a woman going through a divorce.
I was fucking perfect.
But they weren't listening to me, caught up in their own conversation.
I tried again.
And again.
And again.
By now, I was on my knees, my fingers ripping into my hair. I was seeing red.
“We want originality, Misa,” Red said, sucking her teeth.
Her voice crawling into my skull was enough.
She still wanted me.
The thought polluted the back of my mind, taking a strangling hold. She still wanted me. When I lifted my head, Red wasn't looking at me, her gaze on the table grains. “Show us something new.”
I got to my feet, panting, my breath in my throat.
I became a screaming, strangled mess, a woman who lost her baby.
Red’s interest was piqued. Only slightly. Through my fraying vision, she slowly turned in her chair. “Again.” She clapped her hands, “Come on, Misa! We want new! We want never been fucking done before! Are you deaf?”
I couldn't stop the sobs escaping my mouth.
They lost interest again, right in the middle of my reading.
“Why can't you look at me?” I found myself spluttering.
When the man pulled out a bottle of water, I pulled off my heel and lobbed it at his face.
“Look at me!”
He did. Slowly. His gaze found me, for perhaps the first time.
Not as an amateur, but as a potential candidate.
Around the twentieth attempt, I started to laugh. Never been done before? I could feel my fingernails already in my scalp, clawing chunks of my hair out.
Reality contorted, and I felt myself drop to my knees. I was still laughing, spluttering, sobbing. I could still hear her in my head. Never Been Done Before. I started slowly, dragging my fingernails down my face until I felt the harsh sting.
“Again.” Red said, and her voice led me to stare down at my hands, at pinkish flesh glued to my bones, fleshy mounds.
So easy to tear. I didn't even feel it.
Only the sudden, unbridled euphoria of biting into my own skin, locking in my jaw, and ripping into myself.
When I tore it from the bone, warmth filled my mouth, and I was choking, guzzling down my own flesh, mulling it in my mouth and swallowing.
I can't remember how I got so deep, and why I didn't stop.
Why I didn't fucking scream.
But it didn't matter.
Red was standing up. She was clapping, her lips spread into a grin.
Her applause filled me with stars.
So, I ripped my hair from my scalp, a hysterical giggle escaping my lips.
She loved me.
I could see her jumping up and down, clapping.
Louder, and louder.
Her applause controlled me, twisting and contorting me into hers.
I didn't even think. I wanted to impress her, and doing this was doing just that.
My fingers were delving into my right eye socket, clawing my eye out. It didn't even hurt. Not with her thundering applause that was deafening, beautiful, an orchestra in my ears.
When I was semi conscious, my eye was crushed in my hand, but my vision was still mine, almost too clear. I could see streaks of red blurred between my lashes. My hair was caught between my fingers. But I wanted to do more.
When I stumbled to my feet, Red’s smile was so beautiful.
The man, however, looked horrified.
“Someone bring in the one of the successes,” Red’s voice was a shrill giggle, “Bring him in!” she clapped her hands together, and I spat out a fleshy thing. “I want to see them together! I want to see the future in front of us!”
Footsteps coming towards me in slow, shuddery thumps. I looked up, and a shadow was dancing around me.
When I slowly rose to my feet, I half realized I’d bitten my toe off. The shadow had a face, a boy who was younger than me. I think he used to have hair, but half of it was gone, half of it was still stuck between his fists. When I found his eyes, I found twin caverns instead.
Eyes that were still physically there, and yet there was no life.
No spark.
I was staring at a dead body, a flesh puppet who had lost his strings.
When he grabbed my hands, pulling me into a waltz, I caught a smear of scarlet trickling down the back of his neck. When I followed it upwards, his head was covered, slick, dripping with red.
Like me, he matched her too.
And he was beautiful, she told me, her push, her thunderous applause, guiding me into a waltz.
His feet moved, perfecting every step, and my foggy mind couldn't understand why. He matched my every move, the two of us floating across the floor.
My feet knew the steps before my mind.
How could he dance? I thought, dizzily.
How could he dance, when smeared scarlet followed his twisting, and turning and pirouetting feet?
Because underneath that swimming clinical light, the back of the boy’s head had been carved away, a perfectly sculpted cavern where his brain should have been. I could see the severed stem, where it had cleanly plucked out.
His fingers cradled in mine were wet. Swimming in blood.
His own blood.
Spinning round and around, I imagined myself as a princess.
I saw an 18th century ballroom lit up around us. Glittering smiles and glasses of champagne, long, flowing ball gowns.
I blinked, and my head was tipped back, gliding in blood once again.
When he pulled me to his chest, I stumbled, and a name came to light.
Luke.
I had found him.
Our finishing spin left me hard to breathe.
My body was broken, ripped into, and yet somehow not.
By the time we were finished, the two of us bowing, my mind was full of fog.
Cotton candy.
“Congratulations!” Red’s smile was inhuman, stretching right off of her face.
“You're in the S class!”
I was led through a door that wasn't the one I entered from. Inside the room were a dozen or so students, kneeling on the floor. They were missing parts of themselves, like unfinished puzzle pieces.
I dropped onto my knees next to a girl without a head. I could only see her torso, but I knew she was smiling.
Looming over us, was the goddess Athena drenched in blood that was still wet.
Dripping, pooling from every crevice of her dress.
Looking closer, this statue was moving.
Something sickly crept into my mouth.
Her right eye was human, a twitching eyeball sandwiched inside the stone.
It didn't match her. It was wrong, horrifying, like a painting, a real human eye struggling to focus on us.
And then, my own gaze found the statues head, where a real human brain had been forced inside perfect white, pink, greyish mush dripping down the sculpted, slender neck.
I could see where it had been pushed, pulverised through the stone.
The statue’s singular eye found me.
Its dancing pupil jumped up and down.
Before it blinked.
Next to me, Luke was on his knees, as if in prayer.
I can't remember leaving the room.
I just remember running.
Back down the stairs, stumbling, staggering over myself.
I was screaming by the time I reached the doors.
They opened, as usual.
But I couldn't get through. I tried, but I was slamming into something I couldn't see.
Pepto was still waiting outside. The sky was dark.
When he saw me, he stumbled over, slamming his hands into the glass.
I couldn't even understand myself. I was just fucking screaming.
Pepto held up his phone.
“DID YOU FIND HIM?”
I shook my head.
“No.” I lied.
I can't tell him the truth. I don't even know what it is.
“I can't get out!”
Pepto nodded slowly, typing something and showing me his phone.
I'm getting you both out of there. I think I know how I can get inside.
It's been 3 days, and Pepto is yet to return.
I’ve tried multiple times to cry out for the H word. But it won't let me type it.
Please H me. I need to get out of this place.
Fuck. Get me OUT OF HERE.
Classes start tomorrow.

I’m so tired. No matter how much I sleep and rest. I have no emotional energy or will to do anything. I can’t get out of bed before 11am every day. My life’s memories are inaccessible. As my DPDR has worsened, so has my cognitive state. I don’t not just feel a connection with my old memories, they’re also inaccessible. I used to have some memories to hold onto, and connect with - that would give me comfort in the depths of DPDR, now I don’t even have that.
My DPDR has gotten so bad that I don’t even know what time it is, how I got somewhere, what season it is, how many hours it’s been, my reality not only doesn’t feel real, there’s no piece of me left to hold onto, there’s no piece of my old reality to hold onto. I feel like my ego and sense of self have dissolved completely finally and I’m just a consciousness with no previous life memories or past self. Each day I’m born again, the day before, the left before erased from my mind. I know my body is trying to distance me from old memories stored in my body that are too painful / scary to handle. But in the process, its distanced me from all the good memories, the safe and happy memories, the memories & emotions that created me and my sense of self have dissolved, even my reality. Visually, nothing is distorted. It all feels like I’ve never been places before, I’m not actually here or real.
My previous likes, dislikes, personality, traits, sense of self, continuous reality that I experienced before, have all been pushed to an inaccessible part of my mind. These are not symptoms of being hyper aware - anyone would notice that they can no longer connect with the past, or the future, or even the moment. It’s like being placed in a white box that has no end and no beginning; that white box is like being in a separate plane from reality. There’s no up, no down, no end, no beginning. I can’t even be anxious in this box. I can’t feel anything in this box. Somewhere there’s an escape hatch, but you’re unable to see it in the white abyss.
In this box there is no such thing as a day, as an hour, as a minute. There are no such things as holidays, birthdays, seasons. There’s no purpose or ambition. There’s personality or uniqueness. There’s no such thing as complex thinking, planning or rationality. There’s no safety to grab onto. There’s no other people, pets or life forms in this box. The box makes your ego and reflection disappear - there is no more you. There’s no memory of childhood. Teenage years. Early adulthood. It’s like that SpongeBob episode where they begin shredding all the files in his brain. All my files have been shredded, thrown in the trash, and put into a locked box.
To not be yourself in a world where there’s 7 billion other people, where there’s thousands of miles of landscape, oceans, cities, mountains - and you recognize none of it - that’s a punishment worse than being in jail. At least in jail you’d know who you are and where you are.

As the title says.
I've seen many posts here critisising the lockpicking system. I do understand the people who don''t like lockpiking in this game. During my first playtrough I got absolutely demolished by Pesheks quest due to my inability to lockpick(for context, I play/(d) on ps5/(ps4)). It was so bad that I did not touch it for most of my playtrough at all.
I remember when during the end of the playtrough i was doing the Lady Stephanies quest and got stuck on the part where you get the gemstone from the chest. I think I spent an hour trying to open the damn thing and looking at tutorials.
But then I somehow got it. From there I started to use lockpicking, though still avoiding it like the plague if I could. I quickly got really good at it. Now I'm able to open any chest extremely fast. Even the very hard ones (of course dependant on the position of the sweet spot. Fuck it when its on the outer edge.
When I played skyrim again I realised that I hate its lock picking system. Breaking dozens of lock picks to find that sweet spot on a master lock. Compared to kcd where if you are good enough you can open any lock at level. 6 with the help of some wine. I apreciate the fack that its fully skill dependant. The skill level of lockpicking mostly affects the size of the sweet spot and subsequently the speed at which you can open the lock.
On critisism that I have of the system is the fact that you cant even try to open hard and very hard locks before a certain skill level. For example merchant chest are unavailable to try until level 15 iirc, or 6 if you pick luck of the drunk. I like kcd because of the freedom of oproach that it provides. I think it would be better if you could try any lock you want to, bit at a low skill level the sweet spit would be microscopic on the hardest locks.
I understant that that solution would slightly contradict the narative of Henry being a skilles peasant at the start, but I want to start my ratay robbing spree as soon as I get out of the ptsd enduced fever dream in the mill.

I had to go to the grocery store today. Was running out of food for the dog, short on milk and just needed some things. I haven't been out for a month because of my step dad.
I can't trust my step dad. He will just sit and watch TV while I am gone. He has dementia and 85 years old. Not too long ago he went outside in the shed. He slipped and fell. I didn't know he was outside he never tells me. His son came by for dinner and found him while I was outside vaping. I did walk around looking for him but just in the wrong places. But anyway I got out today because my step sister in law came by for awhile to keep an eye on him.
I went to Weis grocery store. While I was shopping I was getting my cat her canned cat food. It was taking me awhile because looking for different food for her I didn't find. I look up and this older guy is just standing there waiting for me. I told this guy he should have said something and I moved out of the way. We got talking about our cats. He has like fifteen plus cats that he takes care of, I have one. But I have my cat for a reason I believe
First of all I have had two cats. My first cat was about 18 years ago. She was a black cat that my neighbors supposedly were taking care of. My neighbors back then, at least the guy, were jerks. The father laid out in the sun in his bikini bottom and didn't do anything all weekend. I felt sorry for his wife and kids. They always had cats running around outside. This black cat came to me one day and I found some food for her. She kept coming back. She became my best friend.
I went through some very hard times. I even thought of suicide. You know what kept me from doing it? My cat Midnight. Just seemed like everytime she came to me I had peace. I go out for a cigarette she would come to me without me calling her. She would come because she knew I needed her. A few times she was sitting right outside the door. When she passed away she was in my arms. She was like my best friend, an angel at that. I really do believe God sent her to be my friend.
Then about a couple weeks before she passed away she ended up getting under the porch. We had a board off because we had to do plumbing work under there years ago and Midnight liked going under there in the winter. Now we had to get her out so she didn't just die. When we did we kept her inside and took care of her. A few days after this calico cat, her name is Reese, walks up to me outside. She's rubbing my legs and meowing. She just followed me inside. I kept her in my room until Midnight passed on. Now she is all over and a climber. My mom passed on a year later from pancreatic cancer. A lot of other crap happened in that year and if God hadn't brought Reese before Midnight passed on I don't know where I would be today.
I believe everything happens for a reason and what we decide changes our future. That's why we need to make sure we stay on a good path and not a bad one. Personally I don't think we need to try to be perfect because that's impossible but use common sense. There is always a better way and having faith is what helps you to get there. Sometimes we just need a little help and we get a friend

Doc has me limited to 12k mg sodium. And I still have no idea what I’m doing other than “avoid sodium”
Had 420mg for brunch(2 eggs & grits). 780mg left for the day. Go in for 5hr work shift expecting to just cook something when I get home. That shift gets doubled to 10hrs. One supervisor brings in sausage pizzas (730mg), the other drops off chick fil A sandwiches (1,350mg)
So I’m sitting here just drinking water until I can get home and cook something.
What sage advice would you have to offer for the next time I find myself in this situation where i’m going 12 hours between meals and there’s only sodium loaded food in the break room?
Thanks.

Hello! So I was playing basketball 3 weeks ago. I took a hit hard while setting a screen, I had no pain but what I believe is the ac joint had a very weird sensation. Almost a letting go or loosening sensation. It didn’t hurt at the time, it didn’t hurt that night or even the next morning. The only time it started to hurt significant was 2 days later, after I did a hard shoulder day in the gym. The pain has since lingered for 3 weeks, slowly getting better but flares up if I try anything in the gym. Any ideas? The pain is not only in the ac joint by also can be sharp where the chest meets the humerus. No med insurance, getting Medicaid soon. Thank you so much! 28M 5’8.5” 170lbs

I’m pretty sure I’m dealing with some PPA as I have been prone to anxiety in the past. Either way I feel like I’m starting to obsessively check to make sure my little girl (one month) is still breathing.
I hate having to put her in her car seat, and anytime she rides in the car, I have to ride in the back seat with her, usually with my hand reached across on her stomach to make sure I can feel her breathing.
I hate when my husband wears her in our wrap because I don’t feel like he’s vigilant enough or is flippant about making sure she stays in a safe position or isn’t rebreathing air. He wore her earlier to get some stuff done around our home and let me go take a nap. It took me 30 minutes and crying myself to sleep because I was worried he’d get too distracted wearing her and something would happen.
Positional asphyxiation is absolutely petrifying to think about. The fact that it’s silent makes my anxiety and obsessiveness about it even worse probably. But then there’s also SIDS where she could just stop breathing?! I don’t know how to ease this anxiety at all because these are things that can and do happen, so how can I tell myself she’ll just be fine when I can’t guarantee that she will be?

I have yet to be shown by any player, be they my own friend or some random, has yet to show me in reasons to have faith in anyone who like to wonder off from the group. Hell I would even say splitting up into groups is even worse than a single person splitting off. I have had too many games where no one can make up their mind on where to go so you are just getting yoinked across the entire map away from someone who you weren't even paired up with and visa versa.
Just stick together people.

For the last few days I’ve pulled/seen the three of cups MULTIPLE times (around 4 or 5). I’ve never experienced anything like this and I’m often rather sceptical, but it’s been so in my face I can’t ignore it. The energy of the card resonates a lot with what I want in life right now. The idea of friendship and celebration seems very fitting with where I currently am in life. But this is not what I have at all. So I don’t know what to make of it. I feel like the card is telling me what I need, but it just seems impossible to get it at the moment. Does anyone have any different takes or suggestions about what this might require from me? (i.e. any advice, something I should do? Is more of a waiting game? Or am I miss interpreting?) I know it may be hard without more info, but like I said it’s just been this one particular card repeatedly in very different contexts. Grateful🙏

I’ll keep it short and sweet.
I need a loan for 2K-3K within the next week for an emergency.
I don’t care about the interest as I am closing on my house that I sold and will receive plenty of money to pay it off.
But I need the loan quick unfortunately.
I keep getting denied.
Anywhere I can get it?
Like I said I don’t care about the interest.
(My credit is in the 400’s and I make about 70K a year)

When they still had Sydney’s Sinful Sundae, how did you make it? I know it was toasted coconut, ice cream, and melted chocolate. Where did you get the chocolate? I’ve looked at copycat recipes online, but I really want to ensure I get the right chocolate for it. The chocolate was so rich and dark, maybe semi sweet? Also, any special tricks that went into making it?
My sister and I have really good memories of growing up in the 90s and getting the sundae. I’d like to surprise her with a perfect (or as close to perfect as I can) recreation. I’d really like for this to be as perfect as I can make it.
Thank you for any tips or advice.

Hello everyone. I’ve come to Reddit as a resort to not knowing where else to go. For context, I’m a 25 year old college student living at home with a father who has prostate cancer. He was diagnosed about two years ago after prolonging his doctors visit for body pains after assuming it was pain from a prior car accident. By the time he finally went, he was already stage 4. I’ve had other family members who have had different forms of cancer, so, I’ve seen the physical and emotional toll that accompanies having a sick family member. However, I’ve never experienced something like this that’s this close to me, witnessing the decline in health day-by-day.
I’m writing this post because I feel absolutely helpless, and I’m not sure what more I can do. He’s currently a vegan, and we’ve tried herbal remedies (sea moss, black seed oil, sour soup leaves, etc, with no results. We’ve tried alkaline dieting but found that it’s hard to maintain, especially when he becomes deficient in nutrients. He’s lost 50+lbs in two months because he cannot keep any food down. And as we speak, he is in excruciating pain. The cancer spread to his bone and there’s multiple tumors in his spine and skull. The doctors have put him through multiple treatment’s and medicines like xtandi, pain killers, chemo, etc. Just seems like there’s nothing that’s keeping his psi levels down. I can’t help but to blame the overall American health care system when he’s taken all these treatments with no results, and the immunotherapy Keytruda treatment that could help save his life is denied by insurance.
I mentioned my age and that I was a student because I am not established with a career yet, and I have no clue on how to handle any of this emotionally and financially. I have a job that makes me about a little under 3k a month, it’s not much, but I can’t leave my job because it’s paying for my university tuition. After all expenses (rent, insurances, groceries,etc) I can’t help out any more financially. Ive cut back on useless spending, going out/eating out, and am starting to get into debt ($1.5k) after helping with family expense’s. I’ve thought about picking up another job, but I’ve been doing 15 credit semesters to try and hurry my graduation process (about 1 year left) so I can get a career to help my parents out. The workload is a lot, I shamefully admit that I have to abuse my ADHD medication just to keep up with work, caretaking, and school. I feel horrible even talking about my problems, but emotionally I cannot handle this. I don’t sleep often because of school and the anxiety over the possibility my father will passes. If he passes, I don’t even know how my mother and I will manage. My mother and step father just got married over a year ago, and after all my mother has gone through, for her to finally find her person and to lose him so soon breaks me.
This whole situation isn’t about me, so my problems are way less important compared to the life of my father. That’s why this feeling of helplessness is unbearable because it’s not a matter of wanting to do more, I need to do more for the sake of his life and my mom.
I ask for your advice and opinions on whether I should pause university, and strictly focus on a job that could sustain my family better, or continue with school and pick up a second job and just try to make it work? How does dealing with a sick family member manage emotionally? Also, if there’s any possible resources for prostate cancer treatments, and any sources that can help with the finances? Thank you so much in advance. I wish nothing but good health and a happy life to all of you regardless if you respond or not.

97 1500 5.2, grandad's old truck with 252k, sentimental vehicle so I doubt it will ever leave my possession. Last weekend did the plenum gasket, timing chain, water pump, temp sensors, new rad (stepped on the tranny line and broke it off getting in and out of the engine bay), plugs, wires etc. Runs 10x better so motivated after a few years to start working on it more. Already worked out the ac vent issues with the vacuum line but what are you all doing to replace that line? Had already cut a bit to fix a leak but of course it just snapped again last weekend. For now have a 3mm rubber hose from parts store that I was able to cut to length to make it work again but wondering if anyone knows where to source a whole new line? I'm sure I could get more of the same hose and make it work but will end up having both end of it with a bit of the original to make the connections work, but would like to not have to go into the halfasssing things together again if those happen to break or fail.
2nd question is the vents. I am going to yank the dash out to replace, will do heater core while I am there but how can I do about cleaning the vents/air system? My cousin was driving it daily for a year or 2 before it got parked for several years and smoked in it quite a bit so when I do turn on the vents all that ash and years of whatever else may have made its way into the system is blowing in my face. Have new carpet to go it at the same time so seats will come out and get a proper cleaning as well so I will be pretty deep into it regardless. with heater core out and I am sure ac portion exposed I should be able to clean those up fairly well, blower cleaning will be happening as well but will I habe fairly easy access to get a vacuum, rags etc in there to try and get the air cleaned up a bit?

What was your experience like and do you know if it's completely non-negotiable?
I interviewed for an out of state job recently, where they seem to have a fixed salary structure based on responsibilities. The salary listed is about $15-30k lower than what I'd normally get in my state for the same role. When I asked about it, they said they do it for equity reasons to make sure there's not a huge discrepancy of pay between coworkers (ie fairness). I don't know if there's such thing as asking for cost of living adjustments. Anyone have insights or experiences they can share?

so I have bought bitcoin a bunch of times but haven't figured out where do I buy them the cheapest way? sometimes they say no fee but I noticed when they reach my wallet it's not the same amount that a payed so I guess they just give you a bad exchange 💱 rate? so tell me once and for all where do I buy? and I'm not interested in P2P I know there you can get even under the cost of bitcoin sometimes but I don't like it because it takes too long. I like a site where I can just enter the amount and pay with card or PayPal and be done with it. tyvm

I’m pretty sure I’m dealing with some PPA as I have been prone to anxiety in the past. Either way I feel like I’m starting to obsessively check to make sure my little girl (one month) is still breathing.
I hate having to put her in her car seat, and anytime she rides in the car, I have to ride in the back seat with her, usually with my hand reached across on her stomach to make sure I can feel her breathing.
I hate when my husband wears her in our wrap because I don’t feel like he’s vigilant enough or is flippant about making sure she stays in a safe position or isn’t rebreathing air. He wore her earlier to get some stuff done around our home and let me go take a nap. It took me 30 minutes and crying myself to sleep because I was worried he’d get too distracted wearing her and something would happen.
Positional asphyxiation is absolutely petrifying to think about. The fact that it’s silent makes my anxiety and obsessiveness about it even worse probably. But then there’s also SIDS where she could just stop breathing?! I don’t know how to ease this anxiety at all because these are things that can and do happen, so how can I tell myself she’ll just be fine when I can’t guarantee that she will be?