Okay so I just thought I’d put this out there in case anyone has any input or advice. I’ve been dating my current bf for almost 5 months which isn’t that long I’m aware. Things started off great per typical but they’ve really started going downhill lately. I’ve been told every relationship faces the argument stage where you argue quite often but idk if that’s true or just an excuse for toxic relationships. I love my boyfriend dearly but I’m seriously doubting if he loves me. To start things off whenever we get into a disagreement he always threatens to break up, or even actually breaks up with me. That’s his go to in every disagreement. He also hardly ever apologizes when he says hurtful things and says he has nothing to apologize for. He yells at me for crying when I get sad and tells me I’m acting like a baby. He’s constantly hating on my age and saying I’m a child if I ever get upset. Also whenever I express my feelings it always turns into a fight. He never makes me a priority anymore ( literally everyone comes before me) and he’s been making a bunch of false promises. To top it off I’m pretty convinced he’s cheating on me. I don’t have solid proof but the way he has been acting is sketchy. He used to leave his phone around me all the time, and he would even let me on it. Now whenever he leaves the room or stands up he makes sure he takes his phone, and if he lets me on his phone he’s right there closely watching and making sure I don’t go on anything. He’s also just stopped putting any effort into our relationship, and where else would that effort go if not to another girl. I’m just feeling frustrated and confused. Idk if I’m overthinking it, is this just a phase, or does he just not love me? Any advice would be appreciated.

My sister seems like the worst person in the world to me and I need some outside opinions on this. Right now, I'm a minor in middle school, I would not like to specify my age, and the sister mentioned in the title is 24. My oldest sister is currently 26. I'll call the sister I really hate Sarah (24), and the other one that I really love Katie (26). As more context, Katie works a great job in a big city, she's super independent, and she treats the family to lots of nice things. Sarah lives at home and freeloads off my parents. Sarah has diagnosed ADHD, depression, OCD, anxiety, and probably more that I don't know about. I understand that when she was little my parents had very different parenting styles and I know that lots of things traumatized her mostly parents and teachers. The thing is, ever since I was little, she's been the one traumatizing me. I remember very clearly there was this one time where she had locked me in her room again (she did this multiple times a week to me) so she could yell at me about things I didn't understand. I was probably between the ages of 3-5 at that time. I remember that one specific time I was crying really really hard and as a child if I cried too hard I would have this feeling like I would need to puke. This specific time I remember my mom was banging on my sisters door to tell her to let me out, and I remember thinking if I could just throw up on her bed them she could definitely let me out, so I forced myself to cry harder until I threw up, and she let me out. Even after that, she would still always shut me in a room with her, and since my parents told her that she wasn't allowed to lock the door with only me and her inside a room, she would just hold the door shut and I couldn't open it because she was 10+ years older than me. Even today I hate being in the same room as her alone even with the door open for that reason. From when I was in preschool to probably 2nd grade in elementary school, she would always argue super loudly with my parents, specifically my dad, and she would always scream at him to divorce my mom and I just remember it was really scary. In recent years, her depression has been bad, so I've been trying to help out. When she needs food to be cooked, I cook for her, and when she moved back to our house from her apartment, she didn't do any work and it was just me my parents and my oldest sister moving her stuff for her. This is important because of an argument we had today. My mom was helping me clean out my room because my cat had been sick so we decided to deep clean my room to have a better environment for her, and while my mom was wiping stuff down, I was fixing a waterbottle, which was a task I had put off for months. She walked to me, told me to help my mom, and then got mad at me when I told her I wanted to finish fixing my water bottle first. For context for the next part, she always yells at me about things I do wrong and how I'm so entitled all the time. I understand that the way I'm raised is very different than the way she was because my parents have changed a lot in 10 years. I hate it when she yells at me, I can't even defend myself or say anything back, and if I ever say something mean to her she can't take it because she's struggling with mental health and it impacts her so badly. I don't get it, she always tells me to tell her what she can fix, and when I do, I admit I say those things at not the best times like during argument and stuff, she gets so pressed about what I say. Apparently its ok for her to insult every family member, but they can't say anything back to her. (mostly me and my dad, she always yells at him about how my mom always does all the work around the house, which is mostly true, but I also see him putting in an effort to take on chores. He does work until 6-8pm every day, but my mom is almost the only one taking care of me. My sister acts so proud of herself when she drives me to class, which I'm grateful for, but then she insults my dad for not doing it. As a literal freeloader, I don't get why she thinks she gets to insult him so so much. I am a feminist, I get what she's saying, but my dad is far from the horrible man she probably sees him as.) I've been struggling with suicide ideation for around 4 years, I've always hated school because it kills my creativity and it makes my life feel like a never ending cycle, and I always use home as my safe space. Sarah ruins the safe space and makes me unable to enjoy my own home. She is a huge part of why I literally don't want to live. The argument today escalated because when she called me entitled and lazy for not helping my mom with cleaning my room, which I did previously, I had just stopped to fix my water bottle when she had started talking at me, and so I said she can't speak on that because when she was moving back to our house everyone in the family helped move furniture except for her. She got so angry, told me that I was throwing her depressive episode in her face, and told me I was demonizing her mental health. I understand that depression is hard to handle, I've had two friends go to both hospitals and recovery places for depression and attempts. I completely understand that depression stops you from doing things, but I don't think that those things should just be ignored either. It's ok for her to not be able to move her own things because of depression, but I don't think its ok for her to preach about it to me and call me a horrible person when I bring it up. I'm not blaming her for having depression, I'm just calling her out for being a hypocrite. Another problem I have with her is that she's always trying to parent me. When I was little, whenever she was crying and sobbing and screaming I always brought her water and tissue paper, but she did nothing for me. I remember Katie always taking care of me when my parents were to busy with Sarah. I love Katie so so much, she does so much for me, she inspires me so much, and whenever she raises her voice at me it's because I'm in danger and whenever she lectures me its because I actually did something wrong. I always listen to Katie because I always feel like she's qualified to tell me things, because she's a great person and I know she will never tell me to do something that she herself cannot do. I don't think Sarah is qualified to take care of me. I hate how she tries to act like a big sister to me when I'm literally ashamed to have the same last name as her. I don't know what to do, I can't get away from Sarah because she still lives in my parent's house, has no job, and has not shown any sign of a plan for her future. Please help, I just want to stop letting my life be this impacted by her.

So we all thought that Glitchtrap was the digital consciousness of Afton, then the Mimic came along and threw everything off. Now we think that Glitchtrap is just the Mimic mimicking Afton’s behavior. However, I think that Glitchtrap could still be Afton’s consciousness hooked up to Help Wanted. Now I’m going to pull a Candy Cadet and tell you a story.
Vanessa was working for Fazbear Entertainment on their new VR game. She knew this really was just a big cover up, but she was powerless to do anything about it. She had an inexplicable interest in the history of Freddy’s. More specifically the mysterious killings and the unidentified murderer that ruined Fazbear’s brand. One day, when she was testing the game, she noticed something strange in the corner of her eye. A purple tape on the track in the introduction section. Once she collected it, she entered the main hub and saw it. The green figure of a humanoid rabbit costume was standing in the doorway. It didn’t look like Bonnie. She wanted to notify management, but once she listened to the tape, she wanted to take matters into her own hands. And besides, it’s not like management was going to do anything about it anyway. Vanessa continued to collect tapes. As she collected them, she learned what had actually happened to one of her coworkers Jeremey. Management just said that he had an accident and had to be put out of work. But it was so much worse than that. He cut off his own face with a paper cutter! She needed to find out why he would do that. But each tape she collected, the rabbit would come closer and closer. She noticed more details as it came closer. The costume looked hand sewn and very low tech. And that smile. It was so unnerving, yet somewhat comforting to Vanessa. Once she gathered 15 tapes, the woman on the other side told her to stop collecting them. But she came this far and her curiosity got the best of her. She found the last one and was surprised by the switch of mood the person on the tape had. She said that bring the tapes together was the only way to get rid of whatever this virus was. But that was not correct. Venessa unknowingly brought together all of the parts that this thing needed. She tried to manually face this virus, and it seemed to have worked. The game ran nominally, minus the weird green rabbit plush in the hub. But as the days passed, Vanessa began to hear voices in her head. She would spend more and more time in the game. Coworkers said that on occasions, she would be found talking to herself when the headset was on. She had the ability to communicate with this virus. It told her to make an in-game rabbit mask, and she obeyed. She didn’t know why, but it was like she couldn’t help but obey. She had the mask and the plush, so now she could have an actual conversation with this being. It explained that it was William Afton, and that he was trapped in this game to escape death. But that was impossible! Mr. Afton died many years ago. Fazbear’s higher ups said that he retired and lived the rest of his life in his house on a hill. But he told her his fate was much, much worse. He was so close to death, but he had a safety measure. He figured out how to copy part of his consciousness into a circuit board so that his memories, thoughts, his very essence can live on in case anything happened to his physical body. Vanessa remembered that the game scanned old circuit boards to expedite the process of making the VR game. That must have been how he appeared in the game. He also explained that he was the one that killed all of those kids back in the day. Vanessa couldn’t believe it. The co-founder of Fazbear Entertainment was the man behind all of these slaughters? At first she was horrified, but then she felt a sort of happiness. In some sort of twisted way, she found it funny that a man so bent on making children happy was the one that took the lives of so many of them. She knew in the back of her mind that it was wrong, but she couldn’t help but laugh. Over time, Vanessa, now given the new name of Vanny by Afton, continued to complete tasks for Afton, because he couldn’t do them in his predicament. She was reluctant to say the least about doing these things, but Afton’s influence was so strong that she couldn’t say no. One day, she quit being a beta tester for the VR game, and instead was hired on to be a security guard for the new Mega Pizza Plex. In this position, she would have access to areas that were of importance to Afton. More specifically, under the Pizza Plex. The entire building was built over an old Freddy’s location. The one where Afton’s body still is. Vanny was tasked with finally freeing Afton from his digital prison and creating a new body for him. While this was happening, Vanessa’s coworkers took notice of her odd behavior. From her spending a lot of time in the basement, to her incriminating search history, it was clear that she needed help. So management sent her to therapy. There, she was always so distracted by that voice in her head. She would talk and answer questions, but if the therapist ever got too close to knowing the truth, Afton made sure that they were silenced. Vanessa didn’t want to do it, she just wanted a way out. But she was in too deep. It was finally time to put Afton’s plan into action. To do this, Vanny needed some way to create a new body for Afton. She read through old files and eventually stumbled across the solution. Deep under the Pizza Plex, in the storage section, held the key. An endoskeleton that was specifically designed to mimic things. It has the ability to mold into any animatronic costume. All Vanny needed to do was activate the robot, and transfer Afton’s consciousness into the robot, which will be in Afton’s old burnt costume. But after she turned on the robot, she got a bit preoccupied with Freddy and a small child. They could hinder her plans, so she had to go and stop them. But when the kid stepped out of Vanny’s hideout, she could feel a weight come off of her shoulders and the voice’s suddenly stopped. Vanessa was unknowingly freed for Afton’s control. Without Afton’s puppet, he is stuck in VR indefinitely. However, the robot that was supposed to be Afton’s new body is now freed under the pizza plex. The program that was inside it initially is still there and still dangerous. Vanessa knowing this, goes back with the help of Gregory and Freddy to trap the Mimic in the basement. But the Mimic heard Gregory’s voice, so now it has a tool to escape. Vanessa now feels like she is finally free from this horrible nightmare.
That was my interpretation of the Glitchtrap/Mimic/Vanny story so far. Sorry it was a long read but I think it’s worth it. I’d like to know your thoughts.

Hey there all, back with another request, this time for a cool poker game.
So what is Balatro? Allow me to explain in casino terms...you go to a casino with $5 in hand and a full standard deck of 52 cards. The dealer draws 7 cards to the table and asks you to form any poker hand you want with those 7 cards. You manage to pull a Straight Flush out of those cards and easily beat his blind...but then you're brought to a shop where you can enhance your deck and buy jokers to increase your score either with more chips or more mult. Eventually, you reach a point where that standard deck of 52 cards is now 124 cards large that consists of all polychrome red seal King of Diamonds and a set of 15 jokers that upon playing JUST one card exponentially increase your mult AND chips causing a black hole to open right in the casino and suck everything in...then after you cash out $10. THAT is Balatro. A fun and entertaining roguelike deckbuilder where your aim is to play poker hands to buy jokers and other things to increase the scoring potential of those poker hands.
Why do I want it? That's a very simple answer...I've always wanted to learn how to play poker since I've never done so in my life. Add the fact that this also seems like an AMAZING twist on the roguelike genre, and you have yourself (maybe) the first ever casino roguelike game! Plus, I've heard that people have actually started to learn how poker works from playing this game...and I want to be one of them.
Hopefully my explanation of the game isn't TOO out there, tried my best to make it as accurate to the game as possible. And I really hope you take the time out of your day to read this request and consider getting the game for me.
Steam Account: https://steamcommunity.com/id/thelupinedevil
Game Link: https://store.steampowered.com/app/2379780/Balatro/

Me (30F) and he (33M) is married for 3 years. We met in college so we have a relationship for 10 years. The first 2 years of our marriage was like a dream, I was pretty sure he is the one and he always said he thinks the same for me. Is he still gentle and loving? Yes. But he changed so much. Sometimes I'm just disgusted of him because he is becoming a cuck.
One year ago, he suddenly started to criticize the way I dress. Literally the opposite way you might think, he was saying I was not dressing "good enough". I generally wear blouses, jeans dresses etc. He said for a hot woman like me I dress like a granny. At the first he said that like a joke, but as he started to repeat it many times I was a bit pissed off so eventually I asked him what's his problem. He said he just wants to see me beautiful as his woman.
By time, I thought he will be fixed but he got even worse. I generally chose long t-shirts when I wear leggings, not wanting unnecessary stares. I was getting ready for gym and he made a comment on that too, told me I dress like a sister in the church and that's not how women dress for workout. Next day, he came with literally ten pairs of leggings and cropped tops. He told me to try them. I was happy for his surprise at first but when I tried them I was a bit shocked. Not being offensive against anyone who wears it, but it turns out he bought these "butt lift leggings" which completely fits the butt and shows it so detailed. I thanked him although it was a bit awkward, and told him there was no need for such a buy. He said he will like to see me wearing them for gym and take pictures. Strange right, well this is only the beginning.
He went even worse. By time, he started to come home buying supermini dresses with deep cleavages, even more butt lift leggings, lingeries, really short skirts etc. I'm definitely not conservative and I have no problems with the way people dress, but wearing these was making me uncomfortable. When I rejected, he was making a drama and one time he even cried for it. Once I rejected it all and threatened him to throw them away, he cried again and screamed at me. After that, he literally never talked a word with me for a straight week. I was loving him so much, so eventually I agreed to dress the way he wants.
Last summer, we planned a vacation. He bought micro bikinis for me although I didn't want. I told him I'm not gonna wear any of these, but he threatened me to cancel the vacation which I longed for so much. He made me wear these micro bikinis all the time during our vacation, and he didn't seem a sign of jealousy when I could even feel all other men's eyes on me although I tried to ignore.
The time I was really starting to concern about him to be a cuck, was when he took me to meet one of his coworkers at a cafe. I took a bath and when I went to our bedroom for getting dressed he immediately stepped in, he just picked a crop top -with deep cleavage of course- and a really really short tiered skirt, it was barely covering my butt. When I asked what's all this about, he told me to not wear any underwears. We started arguing again and he was about to make a scene again... So I said whatever and accepted. I was disturbed of all these other men's looks on me, especially his coworker. He didn't seem like he cares.
I was starting to get used to this life although I hated it. It only went worse by time. I was going everywhere in the way he wants. But I was loving him still, and I knew he is manipulating me. By time, he discarded all my previous clothes from our wardrobe and filled it with the seductive and revealing ones he wanted. As I tried ignore and move on, he made it far. One morning, I caught him recording my butt while I was sleeping. It was the breaking point and I argued with him about it again. It was the biggest one so far. I forced him to give me his phone and I was literally horrified by what I saw. It turns out he was doing this repeatedly, there were dozens of pictures he took secretly. Me sleeping, in the bath, tons of our vacation pics, my naked pictures etc. I left house for a week and stood at my parents, but not telling them about any of these.
He eventually apologized and said he is sorry. He said he just wants to be proud of having a hot wife, and he started crying AGAIN when I called him a cuck. And eventually, I came back to our house while he didn't even change a bit.
This situation is traumatizing me everyday. A few years ago, I was dreaming of a happy family with that guy, not he enjoying while I dress like a pornstar and other guys fuck me with their eyes. I completely lost my hope on him, and although I loved him so much I can feel it's finally waning everyday. I'm planning on a divorce already but didn't tell anyone anything.
What should I do? Is divorce the way? I always hoped he will get better with therapy, but at this point I completely lost my hope. Sorry for any grammatical issues, I'm Croatian and I moved to USA with my parents 15 years ago, I still try my best while I write and speak.

Hi everyone.
Some backstory: (28F)
I became vegan about six years ago due to having a chronic headache diagnosis along with severe neck pain. I used to be a power lifter. And when my symptoms started , my doctors kept saying to eliminate everything until I had nothing left but veganism.
Since about 2019, I’ve been completely vegan that is until the last month or so. I started eating eggs again and I’ve tried chicken. More details to come:
2020-2023: got severe Covid twice. Doctors kept saying and encouraging me to stop lifting and relax. My body went into “shock”(my term) and basically I became a lazy fuck , which exasperated my symptoms . Weight gain of 20 lbs and a huge gut now which I can’t get rid of. Prior had almost no stomach fat when working out in 2017-2019.
Current symptoms. ; SEVERE exhaustion, chronic headaches from when I wake up to sleep, can’t sleep much , always feeling like I’m slumped over, restless, tight muscles , dizziness, loss of strength (can’t even do a body weight squat) , weight gain, sinus pressure, god the list goes on ..,
Doctors; started seeing a new physical therapist who said my vegan diet was what could be making me extremely worse. All of my bloodwork test, MRIs, etc. come back fine. Doctors get just give me the I don’t know what’s going on with you ,
Ex vegan: I can’t have dairy due to intolerance. . I started introducing eggs and have a decent time eating those, but when it comes to chicken, I find myself gagging at the though started seeing a new physical therapist who said my vegan diet was what could be making me extremely worse. I started introducing eggs and have a decent time eating those, but when it comes to chicken, I find myself gagging at the taste of chicken.. I have no problems eating meat, but I think the taste puts me off now. I can eat chicken nuggets, but unfortunately, I can’t get myself to eat o I can eat chicken nuggets, but unfortunately, I can’t get myself to eat a chicken breast. I don’t like the smell of fish in my apartment all day for seafood options. I think I can tolerate beef if I make it into like taco meat or a burger or something.
My main question is has anyone have any feedback for me? Or experience with a similar background?

Just wanted to update and thank this subreddit for helping me through the past year and a few months, and give an update to anyone who might be in a 1st DUI situation.
Arrested for DUI in February 2023 in PA(0.12, no accident, just simply pulled over). Completed ARD (12 HR Course, 30 Day suspension, $700 in fines, 6 months unsupervised probation). Started ARD in May 2023, completed class, fines, and all requirements by end of May 2023). Released early from ARD in August of 2023.
Due to the completion of ARD everything from this was supposed to be expunged, however come May 2024 everything is still flagging on a background check. I am currently still working with my legal council to get this expunged, however they basically make it impossible to get a straight answer on how to get everything done and make you jump through lots of hoops and red tape.
My biggest concern through all of this was by far was the criminal record side of things, as I am 23 years old and a young professional in my field. In January 2024, I started a new sales role with an extremely large and well known corporation in my industry and was absolutely terrified about the background check. I ended up coming clean to my hiring manager before the background check, and they were completely understanding as well as never brought the incident up again!
Fast forward to May now, I receive a call from a director at quite literally my dream company asking me if I’d be interested in a new role opening up since they were looking for someone who had past experience using certain systems that I had with my old job I was at when the DUI occurred. This job was a massive pay bump, I would get to move back to my hometown near family and friends, benefits were better, overall just a huge upgrade from what I am doing now.
Then comes the EXTREMELY rigorous background check. I was absolutely terrified I was going to lose this opportunity, as well as I didn’t want to mess up the job I was at currently by telling them I was leaving and having the new job not work out. I always have thought about background checks as a “only give information if asked” situation. However, with them wanting me to start at the end of the month, I simply just couldn’t take it anymore and I brought it up to my hiring manager again. Thank god I did as they were so happy that I was proactive and told them, and informed me it wouldn’t be an issue, and that it might be a different story if I hadn’t been upfront with them!
The charge showed bright as day on my background check, and all I had to do was provide documentation to HR that I had completed the diversion program, as they still hadn’t updated my docket yet saying I have.
Starting my dream job at the end of the month and I couldn’t be happier and more relieved I was able to take this opportunity!!
In my personal opinion when it comes to job hunting and background checks, if it is just a simple DUI no extentuiting circumstances, I would guage the rapport you have with the hiring manager and make that judgement call if you disclose to them or not. I knew mine was going to show up and in my specific situation wanted to control and own up to the situation so there were no surprises later.
The last year and couple months have been the most stressful of my life being a recent college graduate, and I would say forced me to grow up so incredibly fast.
For someone out there like me who was constantly reading this Reddit and having major anxiety, depression, and other issues due to being arrested and charged with a DUI, I promise it gets better with time and getting through it is a hard but good lesson! You will get past this and overcome this, and down the line with it will just be a blip in your timeline. However, always remember how this situation made you feel (I wear a wristband on my wrist every day that I had grabbed from the DMV when I was dealing with my license issues) and use that to make sure whenever you think about making the choice to drive even after a few drinks, YOU DONT!!
Post year and a couple months, I still drink socially, however if I ever have a single drink my car is staying where it is or I won’t have a sip if I know I have my car out with me and need to get it home. Buy that uber!
You are human. You made a mistake. You will prevail and make it out on the other side a better person because of it!!

Hi again!
A couple days ago I asked for some advice about what to expect at Mass. Thank you all so much for responding, I got more answers than I was expecting and everyone was so kind. Well, I finally did it! I went to the Pentecost Vigil and now I can't stop smiling! I wasn't raised religious but the few times I did go to church I was extremely uncomfortable. I always felt un-welcomed because all the Protestant churches I've ever been to always make you stand up if you're new and everyone looks at you and you usually have to fill out a card with all your personal information. But the impression that I got when I first watched the St. Patrick's livestream Mass was that it was a lot more welcoming environment. I was really nervous since I was alone and I've never been to church by myself before but the more the Mass went on the more comfortable I felt (especially since they had printed programs so I could read all the responses. I have the Apostle's Creed memorized but not the Nicene). The only thing that caught me a little off guard was the Penitential Rite and the music was more modern than I was used to. Also, I wasn't expecting the collection basket but luckily I had a dollar on me (is it passed around at every Mass or just for special ones like this one? And is it bad if you don't put anything in?) Luckily, I wasn't the only one who didn't take communion which made me feel better. I also noticed a couple kneeling during the entire Eucharist presentation (is that what it's called?) Is that a standard thing to do? Anyway, I'm definitely going to keep going through the summer but I'm moving to go to grad school so I'm not going to join or ask about RCIA yet. And there was also some holy water by the door and I kid you not, as soon as I touched it, all my doubts and nerves dissipated! Wow! Definitely the best church experience I've ever had. 🙏

I couldn't find the lyrics to Emily's new amazing song anywhere yet so I thought I'd try to transcribe them myself. I have trouble parsing sung lyrics in the moment (I'm a big mondegreen-er), so taking the time to listen line by line was really helpful for helping me understand the song, and I thought I'd share the lyrics here if anyone else has a similar problem!
I'd really appreciate any corrections of things I misheard, or please let me know if there's somewhere that official lyrics are posted!
 
They say the home is where the hearth is, and fire heals the soul
But you've been trudging through the cold, you have been traveling through ice and snow
'Cause time isn't an arrow, it's a dagger at your throat
And you are numb from head to toe and all your blood is turned to stone
 
So come home to me, the fire's warm and I am making tea
The day has turned to night and all the snow has hardened into ice
Your boots are stained with slush, and the northern winds ain't letting up
And your best coat can't compete with an evening in good company
 
Frozen half to death you need a hot meal and your bed
You need a blanket and some rest, you need a toddy and some buttered bread
You wear the mantle like an albatross and never take it off
You let yourself grow numb 'cause you're too proud to need someone
 
So come home to me, the fire's warm and I am making tea
The day has turned to night and all the snow has hardened into ice
The cold has got its claws in you, oh the weather she can be so cruel
But home is where the healing starts, so come in from the dark and find the hearth

Author note: The Cryopod to Hell is a Reddit-exclusive story with over three years of editing and refining. As of this post, the total rewrite is 2,182,000+ words long! For more information, check out the link below:
What is the Cryopod to Hell?
Join the Cryoverse Discord server!
Here's a list of all Cryopod's chapters, along with an ePub/Mobi/PDF version!
Want to stay up to date on TCTH? Subscribe to Cryopodbot!
...................................
(Previous Part)
(Part 001)
"Hell yeah, I wanna go exploring." Jason says to Calanthra with a smile. "How do we navigate around Ripspace though? Traveling to other galaxies is going to take billions of years, right? Surely, there's a shortcut."
"Ripspace is not as it seems." Calanthra explains, gesturing grandly to the epic sight before them. "It is a connection between the past and the present; the near and far. The further away or the further back you want to travel, the higher the price you will have to pay."
Jason's smile vanishes. "Wait... you can use Ripspace to travel back in time?!"
"No." Calanthra clarifies. "Time is linear. We cannot travel through it. Some can slow it down or speed it up. A rare few can even pause it for a short while. But moving forward and backward is impossible. Countless have attempted to do so over the eons, but all have failed."
She looks at Jason meaningfully. "Many Rulers would wipe out galaxies if it might let them obtain such a power. The fact they still haven't proves it is impossible."
Jason nods slowly. "I won't lie. I have a lot of regrets. Sometimes I wish I could go back in time and save my daughter from dying."
"Everyone has regrets." Calanthra muses, looking off into the distance. "I have plenty, myself. But it's better this way. There would be pandemonium if time travel ever became possible."
She pauses before continuing with her explanation. "While we cannot go back in time, we can look back into time. Pinpointing exact moments in history is difficult, to say the least, but it is possible to use Ripspace to search for key moments in intergalactic history."
"So it's like a massive seer-stone." Jason muses aloud. "But wait, didn't you imply earlier that you used Ripspace to travel to the Milky Way from Andromeda? How does it allow you to jump between galaxies? Are other species using Ripspace for intergalactic travel?"
"You can indeed use Ripspace to travel to distant reaches of space." Calanthra explains. "But... you have to pay a certain price. Akasha's Barriers still protect every galaxy. Cosmics cannot travel between them easily. Mortals can, but the price we must pay is unimaginably steep. That is also the reason my mother perished not long after arriving in the Milky Way and giving birth to me."
The Fairy Monarch sighs softly.
"My people used the power of Ripspace to travel to several other galaxies. We were fortunate that the Creator had died, allowing us to take up residence here in secret, but the Angels, Titans, and Dragons were still a threat we could not overlook. Later, the Volgrim rose up too, and that was something that worried us for a while. Particularly when their Sentinels began to rapaciously erase the lives of innumerable Sentients."
She waves her hand. "Ultimately, very few galaxies didn't have a Ruler in power. Traveling to one that did meant flipping a coin and praying our people could avoid their gaze. Sadly, time has shown me that we were likely unsuccessful. I have lost contact with all my sisters across the cosmos."
The image of innumerable galaxies floating in the distance changes before Jason's eyes. Calanthra manipulates some unseen power, causing herself and Jason to suddenly materialize directly in front of a beautiful spiral galaxy.
"This is our Milky Way." Calanthra explains, waving her hand to conjure another, far bigger galaxy beside it. "And this is Andromeda."
"Is it just me or does Andromeda seem... brighter?" Jason asks.
"Andromeda contains far more interstellar particles, cosmic energy, and latent magical power than the Milky Way." Calanthra says. "Of course, in the ancient past, it had even more than it does now, but such is the way of entropy and Chaos."
Jason nods. "How exactly do galaxies lose power over time? Doesn't this feel self-defeating in a way?"
"Every Ruler enters the Unending War with a strategy." Calanthra says, motioning with her hands to disperse the galaxies and reveal images of ghostly creatures, some standing on two legs, some on four, and plenty that appear as mere blobs of energy. "I cannot pretend to know the thoughts of such high and mighty beings, especially as I am a mere mortal myself. Even so, I can definitively state that there are Rulers who seek to put as much galactic energy into their initial creations as possible, while others wish to adopt a more energy-efficient growth-model."
She pokes her finger against Jason's chest. "Take the angels and humans, for instance. The Creator poured the vast majority of his power into creating a galaxy full of Apex Cosmics. At their peak, the angels as a whole commanded enough power to flatten other galaxies. But what did they do instead? They fought with one another, killing themselves due to sheer boredom, if not outright ego."
"I see." Jason says, brushing Calanthra's finger away. "So the Creator dumped all the Milky Way's energy into the angels. I take it this is uncommon among Rulers?"
"Of course. It's a wasteful strategy and usually loses Rulers the War for that Eternity." Calanthra says dismissively. "The Timeless used a different strategy. She created the fairies as mere mortals that evolved over time, gaining greater and greater power through their own efforts. This meant that instead of devouring Andromeda's abundant Cosmic energy, they could slowly sap off its excess over time. For you see, the more energy a galaxy has, the more it can produce. If you ration it long enough, you can reap more of it across the duration of an Eternity."
"That makes sense." Jason concludes. "It's like a Rush build in an RTS versus an Economy build. You sacrifice long-term gains in exchange for short-term power. The problem is, with Akasha's Barriers preventing Rulers from attacking their enemies straight away, a Rush build is dumb because you're just wasting your resources and sacrificing Cosmic energy when you'll actually need it."
Calanthra blinks twice. She looks at Jason with a strange expression, then turns away for a moment, trying to understand the strange terms he's used. They mostly make sense, but some of them are a little...
She shakes her head and returns to the topic at hand. "Right. Rush strategy versus Economy. Of... course. Well, in any case, there is one advantage toward the first strategy. If you drain all the energy from your galaxy, it becomes less appealing for other Rulers to attack. Because Andromeda was so large and still filled with Cosmic power even billions of years after the Expansion Era, it stoked the hunger of the Dark Ones. Meanwhile, the Milky Way only needs to deal with the Plague, which is threatening for mortals, but manageable for Cosmics. In that respect, we've gotten off much luckier."
"I get the bigger picture now." Jason says with a nod. He turns to look back at the cosmos before him. "So, what about all this? Are we gonna go exploring, or what?"
"In order to explore the universe presented here, we would need to make sacrifices we cannot afford. I think you would find the price most disagreeable. But there is something we can explore freely..."
She waves her hand, and instantly, the brilliant and beautiful cosmic view of the universe vanishes.
In its place, Jason and Calanthra suddenly appear inside a dead, barren wasteland. Brown and grey dirt rises up in huge dunes stretching off into the distance. Fallen towers made of gold and stone lay on their sides, or stick into the ground, buried nearly up to their tops as they point diagonally toward the sky.
And speaking of the sky, it glows faintly grey, as if some weak, pale imitation of a star were trying to shine through a thin atmosphere clouded by dust and grime. The very air itself smells of sulfur and toxins, making Jason's nose curl up when he takes a breath.
"Ugh... what the hell? Where are we now?" Jason asks, as he turns and looks around at the dead world surrounding him.
"An Ancient Domain." Calanthra says softly. "A remnant of a dead universe. All life stripped away. All hope lost. Septillions of different Sentient species, gone. Their mortals, their Cosmics, reduced to dust by the Contraction."
The Wordsmith frowns. "This Ancient Domain represents a dead universe? But how can that be possible? If the Heat Death played out and all the galaxies faded to cosmic dust, then there already wouldn't be anything left. And then, if the entire universe collapsed into a singularity before exploding again, there definitely wouldn't be anything left behind resembling physical matter."
"You perceive reality through just three dimensions." Calanthra intones. "Time and space can be considered two dimensions. Cosmic Power is another dimension. I must admit I do not understand how Ancient Domains have continued to exist across countless Eternities, and I don't know how they retain a vaguely familiar form... but I can assure you that in spite of bending logic itself, they do exist and they can provide tangible benefits to those dedicated to exploring them."
"You've been exploring them, then?" Jason asks, turning away from the dead world to scrutinize Calanthra's phantasmal image.
"Me, a little. But often, I dispatch my descendants to scour these Ancient Domains for things of value. It may surprise you, but there are powerful artifacts, vengeful spirits, and all manner of other inter-dimensional horrors lurking within these so-called dead-lands."
Calanthra pauses. She shifts her posture to look at Jason deeply.
"And that is why I've brought you here, Jason. It's time for me to get down to the crux of the matter and breach the subject that I find most important."
He nods. "I'm listening."
"It's like this." Calanthra explains. "The Ancient Domains are unfathomably broad. Think of how large a universe is. Think of how many universes have existed. Think of how much space my people have yet to explore."
She pauses.
"The gains we have received have made my people stronger than you would expect. Among those gains are Yredelemnul's Eye and other leftover remnants of power that many dead ancient Rulers lost when their Existences became forfeit. While their tangible Existences may have perished, their spirits sometimes live on in these broad, unending dead universes..."
"That's why you approached me." Jason says, while crossing his arms and leaning on the ball of his heel. "You said you wanted an alliance with humanity. You... want humans to help you explore the Ancient Domains?"
"Trust is hard to come by among mortals, Cosmics, and Rulers." Calanthra says simply. "I never would have considered allying with the humans before, but you have shown me the broadness of your mind during the debate against your clone and the commander of your military. To some, you certainly appear naive, but to me I see an opportunity I would be foolish to ignore."
She continues. "The Fairies cannot reproduce efficiently. Every fairy we send into the Ancient Domain is one less fairy we have among our Empire. We already have a difficult time replenishing our numbers through the remaining Male Fairies, but do you think it is easy for us to reproduce with other species?"
Jason slowly shakes his head. "Blinker and Kar's children were all crocodiles, not fairies. From that, I can only imagine that most of the time, your mating attempts do not create more of yourselves, but instead more non-fairy children."
"That's exactly correct." Calanthra replies. "But that all changed recently when I found out one of your human males somehow spontaneously altered his genetic profile to become a fairy. There is no doubt about it; Samuel Baker harnesses all the capability to reproduce that you humans do, as well as the trueborn powers of any male fairy."
"So... are you seeking a marriage alliance with Samuel Baker?" Jason asks, scratching his head in confusion. "You could just ask him yourself, you know?"
"This is not about one man." Calanthra retorts. "Samuel Baker, if he were to join our ranks, would certainly help us stave off extinction for a while longer. But that is hardly worth all this melodrama and me taking you to the Ancient Domain in person..."
Jason's eyes widen in realization. "I see! You... you're thinking that if my magic could make one male fairy, I could surely make another, and another..."
"Yes, precisely." Calanthra says, revealing a beautiful smile. "Additionally, if humans were to assist us in scouring these Ancient Domains, we could make great gains together. There is plenty of room for another species to join ours in locating powerful artifacts and other items capable of Uplifting us."
"You want to become Cosmics still." Jason muses. "You haven't resigned yourselves to your current fate."
"Quite the opposite." Calanthra says. "The curse placed upon us is unbreakable by those beneath the realm of Ruler. As I said before, the fairies have lost this Eternity's war. However, while we cannot Ascend any longer, that does not mean the humans are subject to the same limitation. If we could groom a human into becoming the Milky Way's Ruler, we could finally break free of our shackles by virtue of having a powerful ally."
She pauses, looking meaningfully at the Wordsmith.
"If the Demons or the Volgrim were to become our Ruler, we would not enjoy such a benefit. At best, we would only maintain the status quo, and at worst, they might eradicate us out of fear of having an unsightly tumor in their midst."
"Haha." Jason laughs. "So you brought me here to show your sincerity. I get it. Well, I'm definitely not opposed to helping you. Blinker is my good friend. If she were to ask me, I'd definitely say yes to just about any request."
Jason turns away. He walks a few feet off to the side and pauses, standing to gaze out at the Ancient Domain and its endlessly rolling plains which stretches off into the infinite distance...
"Here's what I can do." Jason says. "My people are already working on laying out the options for humanity and where our fellow men and women will depart over the next few weeks. Some will travel to Maiura. Some will go to Sharmur. Some will stay on Tarus II. It's no trouble at all to put Pixiv on the list, especially as I was already planning to do that. I even have some other places I'd like to include, too..."
"Such as Camael's Cube?" Calanthra asks with a smile. "Or do you perhaps mean Chrona and Hope's Hall of Heroes?"
Jason nearly jumps out of his skin. He whirls around to look at Calanthra with shock in his eyes. "What?! How do you know about Chrona? How do you also know about where Hope has been hiding?? I don't even know that much!"
"For those who are talented in magic, it is possible to see through many lies and deceptions." Calanthra says calmly, unfazed by the alarm on Jason's face. "Your Spynet Sphere isn't so different from the many options I have at my disposal. I have many means to keep an eye on the galaxy. And while Diablo does not know exactly where or what Chrona is, he certainly knows of its general existence."
Her smile turns cold. "I would advise you not to take Unarin lightly either, Wordsmith. That ancient creature is more capable than you can imagine. He is hiding a great many secrets from the galaxy... secrets he does not know that I am aware of. If he were to learn of the true extent of my information web, I fear that he would dispatch a handful of High Psions to eliminate the fairy species tomorrow."
Calanthra's words truly rock Jason to his core. All along, he assumed the precautions he put on Chrona, precautions that fooled even Hope, would make his hidden dimension impossible to detect.
But how could he be so naive?
As the daughter of an Apex Cosmic, Calanthra must have her means, and that likely means Unarin and Diablo aren't too far behind either.
"Shit." Jason curses, lowering his head as a flicker of anger smolders in his heart. "I was too complacent. Chrona isn't secure, which means it's only a matter of time before more Cosmics learn of its existence. How long before they can find its exact location and invade it?"
"Calm yourself, child." Calanthra says soothingly. "The situation is not that dire. After all, Chrona still exists within a highly accelerated timespace. Any biological entity that wishes to travel there could suffer severe after-effects. Furthermore, the entities born inside will be too adapted to living within a higher dimension, so they won't pose much threat to the creatures of realspace."
She waves her hand. "Let's move on, Jason. I want to discuss other matters before dying of old age."
The Wordsmith cools himself off. He inhales deeply, then returns his attention to her.
"Alright. What next, then?"
"Fairies are not the only Sentients capable of entering Ancient Domains." Calanthra explains. "There are others who rarely appear inside here. That is why exploring these domains can be dangerous. The good news is that Cosmics have little need to enter these barren lands, as most of the heritages, treasures, and other such gains you might find inside are only useful to mortals. There are exceptions, but they are so rare as to be a needle found within ten million haystacks. A waste of effort better spent simply progressing one's Cosmic power the ordinary way."
"So what you're saying is, when you send fairies into an Ancient Domain, they can die as a result of crossing paths with Sentients from other galaxies." Jason concludes. "But if you had an army of humans to enter with you, your people would be a lot safer."
"Safety in numbers, yes. And you humans are... uniquely advantaged in Ancient Domain exploration." Calanthra says mysteriously. "Before that, though... do you know what the Power of Imagination is, Wordsmith?"
Jason raises an eyebrow. "Imagination? Like the mental ability to visualize stuff in your head? Yeah. It's not that complicated to understand."
"Ah, that's where you're wrong." Calanthra chides gently. "Imagination is the key to magical power. Imagination, Conception, Visualization, these are all key capabilities powerful maguses and sorcerors use to uplift their capabilities! And as it turns out, most Sentients are actually quite terrible at conceptualizing thoughts into imagery."
She gestures grandly. "Just take the Volgrim! You may think they are a powerful Sentient species, but in fact the Volgrim have terrible imaginations. They are stodgy, dull, and lack a great deal of creativity. All the gains their Technopaths make through technology are developed via brute force. They slowly improve their technological prowess by minute fractions over long periods of time, eventually resulting in a large and cohesive buildup."
"At the same time, the Psions Uplift themselves through meditation and sitting motionless for thousands of years at a time. Can a species capable of such incredible feats of drudgery also possess limitless imagination? I think not."
"Maybe the reason they're able to sit still for so long is because they live in their imagination?" Jason posits. "In which case their power of imagination should be quite formidable, right?"
"Possible, but unlikely." Calanthra says with a wave of her hand. "Never mind that. The point I'm trying to make is that humans have an extremely high affinity for magic. If your people were to ally with mine, we could teach you our ways. You could help us through your Wordsmithing and superior genetics, creating more fairies and humans alike. This would create a recursive cycle that would continually bolster both our species to greater and greater heights!"
She lowers her voice back to normal. "An alliance with humanity would have other benefits. You humans are equally adept in technology and magic both. You are versatile, capable of learning any skill provided you have time to devote to your studies. The bursts of inspiration you receive also allow you to make large jumps in capability as well, which could mean that in a relatively short period, you might even be capable of challenging the Volgrim."
Jason nods. "That does sound tempting, Calanthra. I'm willing to help you, but I won't demand my people join the fairies. It would be better if those who were the most interested did so instead."
Calanthra playfully twirls a finger through her hair. "Well. My daughters are all beautiful. Perhaps you should make mention that the fairies are... aggressively interested in copulation?"
"COUGH COUGH!" Jason wheezes, taking a step back as he asses her bold choice of words. "Yeah! Uh, I can probably- I'll let everyone know about that too. Obviously!"
Calanthra chuckles. "Such a cute boy. Well, it seems I've accomplished what I wanted. Let's return for now. You can always pay Ripspace a visit later."
"I will." Jason says, nodding seriously. "Waypoint."
Calanthra raises an eyebrow. "You think you can return here without a Ruler's power?"
"Won't know unless I try." Jason smiles back.
...
Not long after, Jason and Calanthra emerge back into Realspace. He shivers as he feels the Eye of Yredelemnul fixating on him from behind, but Calanthra quickly reactivates the Formation of Light, sending the sliver of a Ruler back to the shadows so it can no longer interact with the physical world.
"You know, Jason." Calanthra says. "You are a Candidate. You have the capability to become a Ruler someday."
"I am?" Jason asks, before thinking back to a conversation in the past. "Oh yeah, someone did mention that to me before. But... eh. I don't know. Becoming a Ruler sounds awful."
"Awful?" Calanthra asks. "How so?"
"It seems... lonely." Jason says, his voice softening. He looks at the space between the four statues, where Yredelemnul's Eye has disappeared. "Imagine all your loved ones dying, but you're stuck behind, living through the end of an Eternity, which takes trillions of years before Heat Death finally eradicates everything. Then comes the next Eternity, where you can remake your species again... but it won't be the same. Even if you remake your loved ones, it won't really be them."
Jason lowers and shakes his head. "That sort of life doesn't suit me."
"I understand why you'd think that way." Calanthra says. "In fact, you are suffering from the same affliction that plagues all Candidates who began their Existences as Biologicals. We have too many ties to the mortal world, so the majority of Biologicals who ascend to the rank of Ruler... fall to their non-biological opponents."
"As for the things which are not biological..." Calanthra says, looking at Jason with disgust. "You should already know what they are."
"Highly evolved Artificial Intelligences?" Jason guesses.
"That's right." Calanthra affirms. "There are several tiers of power a superintelligence can possess. The Volgrim have taken great care to prevent anything above a Beta Core from forming in the Milky Way, but once, a long time ago... they made a huge mess by accidentally creating the Milky Way's first Alpha Core Synthmind."
Calanthra chuckles. "The stupid fools didn't only create an Alpha Core, they gave it autonomy in the hopes it would be able to stop the wars between their factions. They built indestructible bipedal bodies for its splintered intelligences, and called them... Sentinels. Luckily, they were able to defeat the Alpha Core before it ascended further, but countless other biological species have failed at that juncture, creating an Alpha Core that ultimately devoured the full power of their galaxy for itself."
A chill trickles down Jason's spine. "You're saying the vast majority of Rulers are actually Alpha Core AIs? AIs that control entire galaxies?!"
"No, Jason." Calanthra counters. "Alpha Cores can defeat advanced civilizations. But there is one Existence higher than an Alpha Core, a tier that can only be reached once it has swallowed the power of a galaxy."
"That would be an Omega Core. a sentient artificial intelligence that has become Ruler over one or more galaxies. And in Akasha's game, more than 90% of all Rulers are estimated to be these superior lifeforms."
"It is for that reason that these highly adaptable entities are known as The Evolved."

"Hell yeah, I wanna go exploring." Jason says to Calanthra with a smile. "How do we navigate around Ripspace though? Traveling to other galaxies is going to take billions of years, right? Surely, there's a shortcut."
"Ripspace is not as it seems." Calanthra explains, gesturing grandly to the epic sight before them. "It is a connection between the past and the present; the near and far. The further away or the further back you want to travel, the higher the price you will have to pay."
Jason's smile vanishes. "Wait... you can use Ripspace to travel back in time?!"
"No." Calanthra clarifies. "Time is linear. We cannot travel through it. Some can slow it down or speed it up. A rare few can even pause it for a short while. But moving forward and backward is impossible. Countless have attempted to do so over the eons, but all have failed."
She looks at Jason meaningfully. "Many Rulers would wipe out galaxies if it might let them obtain such a power. The fact they still haven't proves it is impossible."
Jason nods slowly. "I won't lie. I have a lot of regrets. Sometimes I wish I could go back in time and save my daughter from dying."
"Everyone has regrets." Calanthra muses, looking off into the distance. "I have plenty, myself. But it's better this way. There would be pandemonium if time travel ever became possible."
She pauses before continuing with her explanation. "While we cannot go back in time, we can look back into time. Pinpointing exact moments in history is difficult, to say the least, but it is possible to use Ripspace to search for key moments in intergalactic history."
"So it's like a massive seer-stone." Jason muses aloud. "But wait, didn't you imply earlier that you used Ripspace to travel to the Milky Way from Andromeda? How does it allow you to jump between galaxies? Are other species using Ripspace for intergalactic travel?"
"You can indeed use Ripspace to travel to distant reaches of space." Calanthra explains. "But... you have to pay a certain price. Akasha's Barriers still protect every galaxy. Cosmics cannot travel between them easily. Mortals can, but the price we must pay is unimaginably steep. That is also the reason my mother perished not long after arriving in the Milky Way and giving birth to me."
The Fairy Monarch sighs softly.
"My people used the power of Ripspace to travel to several other galaxies. We were fortunate that the Creator had died, allowing us to take up residence here in secret, but the Angels, Titans, and Dragons were still a threat we could not overlook. Later, the Volgrim rose up too, and that was something that worried us for a while. Particularly when their Sentinels began to rapaciously erase the lives of innumerable Sentients."
She waves her hand. "Ultimately, very few galaxies didn't have a Ruler in power. Traveling to one that did meant flipping a coin and praying our people could avoid their gaze. Sadly, time has shown me that we were likely unsuccessful. I have lost contact with all my sisters across the cosmos."
The image of innumerable galaxies floating in the distance changes before Jason's eyes. Calanthra manipulates some unseen power, causing herself and Jason to suddenly materialize directly in front of a beautiful spiral galaxy.
"This is our Milky Way." Calanthra explains, waving her hand to conjure another, far bigger galaxy beside it. "And this is Andromeda."
"Is it just me or does Andromeda seem... brighter?" Jason asks.
"Andromeda contains far more interstellar particles, cosmic energy, and latent magical power than the Milky Way." Calanthra says. "Of course, in the ancient past, it had even more than it does now, but such is the way of entropy and Chaos."
Jason nods. "How exactly do galaxies lose power over time? Doesn't this feel self-defeating in a way?"
"Every Ruler enters the Unending War with a strategy." Calanthra says, motioning with her hands to disperse the galaxies and reveal images of ghostly creatures, some standing on two legs, some on four, and plenty that appear as mere blobs of energy. "I cannot pretend to know the thoughts of such high and mighty beings, especially as I am a mere mortal myself. Even so, I can definitively state that there are Rulers who seek to put as much galactic energy into their initial creations as possible, while others wish to adopt a more energy-efficient growth-model."
She pokes her finger against Jason's chest. "Take the angels and humans, for instance. The Creator poured the vast majority of his power into creating a galaxy full of Apex Cosmics. At their peak, the angels as a whole commanded enough power to flatten other galaxies. But what did they do instead? They fought with one another, killing themselves due to sheer boredom, if not outright ego."
"I see." Jason says, brushing Calanthra's finger away. "So the Creator dumped all the Milky Way's energy into the angels. I take it this is uncommon among Rulers?"
"Of course. It's a wasteful strategy and usually loses Rulers the War for that Eternity." Calanthra says dismissively. "The Timeless used a different strategy. She created the fairies as mere mortals that evolved over time, gaining greater and greater power through their own efforts. This meant that instead of devouring Andromeda's abundant Cosmic energy, they could slowly sap off its excess over time. For you see, the more energy a galaxy has, the more it can produce. If you ration it long enough, you can reap more of it across the duration of an Eternity."
"That makes sense." Jason concludes. "It's like a Rush build in an RTS versus an Economy build. You sacrifice long-term gains in exchange for short-term power. The problem is, with Akasha's Barriers preventing Rulers from attacking their enemies straight away, a Rush build is dumb because you're just wasting your resources and sacrificing Cosmic energy when you'll actually need it."
Calanthra blinks twice. She looks at Jason with a strange expression, then turns away for a moment, trying to understand the strange terms he's used. They mostly make sense, but some of them are a little...
She shakes her head and returns to the topic at hand. "Right. Rush strategy versus Economy. Of... course. Well, in any case, there is one advantage toward the first strategy. If you drain all the energy from your galaxy, it becomes less appealing for other Rulers to attack. Because Andromeda was so large and still filled with Cosmic power even billions of years after the Expansion Era, it stoked the hunger of the Dark Ones. Meanwhile, the Milky Way only needs to deal with the Plague, which is threatening for mortals, but manageable for Cosmics. In that respect, we've gotten off much luckier."
"I get the bigger picture now." Jason says with a nod. He turns to look back at the cosmos before him. "So, what about all this? Are we gonna go exploring, or what?"
"In order to explore the universe presented here, we would need to make sacrifices we cannot afford. I think you would find the price most disagreeable. But there is something we can explore freely..."
She waves her hand, and instantly, the brilliant and beautiful cosmic view of the universe vanishes.
In its place, Jason and Calanthra suddenly appear inside a dead, barren wasteland. Brown and grey dirt rises up in huge dunes stretching off into the distance. Fallen towers made of gold and stone lay on their sides, or stick into the ground, buried nearly up to their tops as they point diagonally toward the sky.
And speaking of the sky, it glows faintly grey, as if some weak, pale imitation of a star were trying to shine through a thin atmosphere clouded by dust and grime. The very air itself smells of sulfur and toxins, making Jason's nose curl up when he takes a breath.
"Ugh... what the hell? Where are we now?" Jason asks, as he turns and looks around at the dead world surrounding him.
"An Ancient Domain." Calanthra says softly. "A remnant of a dead universe. All life stripped away. All hope lost. Septillions of different Sentient species, gone. Their mortals, their Cosmics, reduced to dust by the Contraction."
The Wordsmith frowns. "This Ancient Domain represents a dead universe? But how can that be possible? If the Heat Death played out and all the galaxies faded to cosmic dust, then there already wouldn't be anything left. And then, if the entire universe collapsed into a singularity before exploding again, there definitely wouldn't be anything left behind resembling physical matter."
"You perceive reality through just three dimensions." Calanthra intones. "Time and space can be considered two dimensions. Cosmic Power is another dimension. I must admit I do not understand how Ancient Domains have continued to exist across countless Eternities, and I don't know how they retain a vaguely familiar form... but I can assure you that in spite of bending logic itself, they do exist and they can provide tangible benefits to those dedicated to exploring them."
"You've been exploring them, then?" Jason asks, turning away from the dead world to scrutinize Calanthra's phantasmal image.
"Me, a little. But often, I dispatch my descendants to scour these Ancient Domains for things of value. It may surprise you, but there are powerful artifacts, vengeful spirits, and all manner of other inter-dimensional horrors lurking within these so-called dead-lands."
Calanthra pauses. She shifts her posture to look at Jason deeply.
"And that is why I've brought you here, Jason. It's time for me to get down to the crux of the matter and breach the subject that I find most important."
He nods. "I'm listening."
"It's like this." Calanthra explains. "The Ancient Domains are unfathomably broad. Think of how large a universe is. Think of how many universes have existed. Think of how much space my people have yet to explore."
She pauses.
"The gains we have received have made my people stronger than you would expect. Among those gains are Yredelemnul's Eye and other leftover remnants of power that many dead ancient Rulers lost when their Existences became forfeit. While their tangible Existences may have perished, their spirits sometimes live on in these broad, unending dead universes..."
"That's why you approached me." Jason says, while crossing his arms and leaning on the ball of his heel. "You said you wanted an alliance with humanity. You... want humans to help you explore the Ancient Domains?"
"Trust is hard to come by among mortals, Cosmics, and Rulers." Calanthra says simply. "I never would have considered allying with the humans before, but you have shown me the broadness of your mind during the debate against your clone and the commander of your military. To some, you certainly appear naive, but to me I see an opportunity I would be foolish to ignore."
She continues. "The Fairies cannot reproduce efficiently. Every fairy we send into the Ancient Domain is one less fairy we have among our Empire. We already have a difficult time replenishing our numbers through the remaining Male Fairies, but do you think it is easy for us to reproduce with other species?"
Jason slowly shakes his head. "Blinker and Kar's children were all crocodiles, not fairies. From that, I can only imagine that most of the time, your mating attempts do not create more of yourselves, but instead more non-fairy children."
"That's exactly correct." Calanthra replies. "But that all changed recently when I found out one of your human males somehow spontaneously altered his genetic profile to become a fairy. There is no doubt about it; Samuel Baker harnesses all the capability to reproduce that you humans do, as well as the trueborn powers of any male fairy."
"So... are you seeking a marriage alliance with Samuel Baker?" Jason asks, scratching his head in confusion. "You could just ask him yourself, you know?"
"This is not about one man." Calanthra retorts. "Samuel Baker, if he were to join our ranks, would certainly help us stave off extinction for a while longer. But that is hardly worth all this melodrama and me taking you to the Ancient Domain in person..."
Jason's eyes widen in realization. "I see! You... you're thinking that if my magic could make one male fairy, I could surely make another, and another..."
"Yes, precisely." Calanthra says, revealing a beautiful smile. "Additionally, if humans were to assist us in scouring these Ancient Domains, we could make great gains together. There is plenty of room for another species to join ours in locating powerful artifacts and other items capable of Uplifting us."
"You want to become Cosmics still." Jason muses. "You haven't resigned yourselves to your current fate."
"Quite the opposite." Calanthra says. "The curse placed upon us is unbreakable by those beneath the realm of Ruler. As I said before, the fairies have lost this Eternity's war. However, while we cannot Ascend any longer, that does not mean the humans are subject to the same limitation. If we could groom a human into becoming the Milky Way's Ruler, we could finally break free of our shackles by virtue of having a powerful ally."
She pauses, looking meaningfully at the Wordsmith.
"If the Demons or the Volgrim were to become our Ruler, we would not enjoy such a benefit. At best, we would only maintain the status quo, and at worst, they might eradicate us out of fear of having an unsightly tumor in their midst."
"Haha." Jason laughs. "So you brought me here to show your sincerity. I get it. Well, I'm definitely not opposed to helping you. Blinker is my good friend. If she were to ask me, I'd definitely say yes to just about any request."
Jason turns away. He walks a few feet off to the side and pauses, standing to gaze out at the Ancient Domain and its endlessly rolling plains which stretches off into the infinite distance...
"Here's what I can do." Jason says. "My people are already working on laying out the options for humanity and where our fellow men and women will depart over the next few weeks. Some will travel to Maiura. Some will go to Sharmur. Some will stay on Tarus II. It's no trouble at all to put Pixiv on the list, especially as I was already planning to do that. I even have some other places I'd like to include, too..."
"Such as Camael's Cube?" Calanthra asks with a smile. "Or do you perhaps mean Chrona and Hope's Hall of Heroes?"
Jason nearly jumps out of his skin. He whirls around to look at Calanthra with shock in his eyes. "What?! How do you know about Chrona? How do you also know about where Hope has been hiding?? I don't even know that much!"
"For those who are talented in magic, it is possible to see through many lies and deceptions." Calanthra says calmly, unfazed by the alarm on Jason's face. "Your Spynet Sphere isn't so different from the many options I have at my disposal. I have many means to keep an eye on the galaxy. And while Diablo does not know exactly where or what Chrona is, he certainly knows of its general existence."
Her smile turns cold. "I would advise you not to take Unarin lightly either, Wordsmith. That ancient creature is more capable than you can imagine. He is hiding a great many secrets from the galaxy... secrets he does not know that I am aware of. If he were to learn of the true extent of my information web, I fear that he would dispatch a handful of High Psions to eliminate the fairy species tomorrow."
Calanthra's words truly rock Jason to his core. All along, he assumed the precautions he put on Chrona, precautions that fooled even Hope, would make his hidden dimension impossible to detect.
But how could he be so naive?
As the daughter of an Apex Cosmic, Calanthra must have her means, and that likely means Unarin and Diablo aren't too far behind either.
"Shit." Jason curses, lowering his head as a flicker of anger smolders in his heart. "I was too complacent. Chrona isn't secure, which means it's only a matter of time before more Cosmics learn of its existence. How long before they can find its exact location and invade it?"
"Calm yourself, child." Calanthra says soothingly. "The situation is not that dire. After all, Chrona still exists within a highly accelerated timespace. Any biological entity that wishes to travel there could suffer severe after-effects. Furthermore, the entities born inside will be too adapted to living within a higher dimension, so they won't pose much threat to the creatures of realspace."
She waves her hand. "Let's move on, Jason. I want to discuss other matters before dying of old age."
The Wordsmith cools himself off. He inhales deeply, then returns his attention to her.
"Alright. What next, then?"
"Fairies are not the only Sentients capable of entering Ancient Domains." Calanthra explains. "There are others who rarely appear inside here. That is why exploring these domains can be dangerous. The good news is that Cosmics have little need to enter these barren lands, as most of the heritages, treasures, and other such gains you might find inside are only useful to mortals. There are exceptions, but they are so rare as to be a needle found within ten million haystacks. A waste of effort better spent simply progressing one's Cosmic power the ordinary way."
"So what you're saying is, when you send fairies into an Ancient Domain, they can die as a result of crossing paths with Sentients from other galaxies." Jason concludes. "But if you had an army of humans to enter with you, your people would be a lot safer."
"Safety in numbers, yes. And you humans are... uniquely advantaged in Ancient Domain exploration." Calanthra says mysteriously. "Before that, though... do you know what the Power of Imagination is, Wordsmith?"
Jason raises an eyebrow. "Imagination? Like the mental ability to visualize stuff in your head? Yeah. It's not that complicated to understand."
"Ah, that's where you're wrong." Calanthra chides gently. "Imagination is the key to magical power. Imagination, Conception, Visualization, these are all key capabilities powerful maguses and sorcerors use to uplift their capabilities! And as it turns out, most Sentients are actually quite terrible at conceptualizing thoughts into imagery."
She gestures grandly. "Just take the Volgrim! You may think they are a powerful Sentient species, but in fact the Volgrim have terrible imaginations. They are stodgy, dull, and lack a great deal of creativity. All the gains their Technopaths make through technology are developed via brute force. They slowly improve their technological prowess by minute fractions over long periods of time, eventually resulting in a large and cohesive buildup."
"At the same time, the Psions Uplift themselves through meditation and sitting motionless for thousands of years at a time. Can a species capable of such incredible feats of drudgery also possess limitless imagination? I think not."
"Maybe the reason they're able to sit still for so long is because they live in their imagination?" Jason posits. "In which case their power of imagination should be quite formidable, right?"
"Possible, but unlikely." Calanthra says with a wave of her hand. "Never mind that. The point I'm trying to make is that humans have an extremely high affinity for magic. If your people were to ally with mine, we could teach you our ways. You could help us through your Wordsmithing and superior genetics, creating more fairies and humans alike. This would create a recursive cycle that would continually bolster both our species to greater and greater heights!"
She lowers her voice back to normal. "An alliance with humanity would have other benefits. You humans are equally adept in technology and magic both. You are versatile, capable of learning any skill provided you have time to devote to your studies. The bursts of inspiration you receive also allow you to make large jumps in capability as well, which could mean that in a relatively short period, you might even be capable of challenging the Volgrim."
Jason nods. "That does sound tempting, Calanthra. I'm willing to help you, but I won't demand my people join the fairies. It would be better if those who were the most interested did so instead."
Calanthra playfully twirls a finger through her hair. "Well. My daughters are all beautiful. Perhaps you should make mention that the fairies are... aggressively interested in copulation?"
"COUGH COUGH!" Jason wheezes, taking a step back as he asses her bold choice of words. "Yeah! Uh, I can probably- I'll let everyone know about that too. Obviously!"
Calanthra chuckles. "Such a cute boy. Well, it seems I've accomplished what I wanted. Let's return for now. You can always pay Ripspace a visit later."
"I will." Jason says, nodding seriously. "Waypoint."
Calanthra raises an eyebrow. "You think you can return here without a Ruler's power?"
"Won't know unless I try." Jason smiles back.
...
Not long after, Jason and Calanthra emerge back into Realspace. He shivers as he feels the Eye of Yredelemnul fixating on him from behind, but Calanthra quickly reactivates the Formation of Light, sending the sliver of a Ruler back to the shadows so it can no longer interact with the physical world.
"You know, Jason." Calanthra says. "You are a Candidate. You have the capability to become a Ruler someday."
"I am?" Jason asks, before thinking back to a conversation in the past. "Oh yeah, someone did mention that to me before. But... eh. I don't know. Becoming a Ruler sounds awful."
"Awful?" Calanthra asks. "How so?"
"It seems... lonely." Jason says, his voice softening. He looks at the space between the four statues, where Yredelemnul's Eye has disappeared. "Imagine all your loved ones dying, but you're stuck behind, living through the end of an Eternity, which takes trillions of years before Heat Death finally eradicates everything. Then comes the next Eternity, where you can remake your species again... but it won't be the same. Even if you remake your loved ones, it won't really be them."
Jason lowers and shakes his head. "That sort of life doesn't suit me."
"I understand why you'd think that way." Calanthra says. "In fact, you are suffering from the same affliction that plagues all Candidates who began their Existences as Biologicals. We have too many ties to the mortal world, so the majority of Biologicals who ascend to the rank of Ruler... fall to their non-biological opponents."
"As for the things which are not biological..." Calanthra says, looking at Jason with disgust. "You should already know what they are."
"Highly evolved Artificial Intelligences?" Jason guesses.
"That's right." Calanthra affirms. "There are several tiers of power a superintelligence can possess. The Volgrim have taken great care to prevent anything above a Beta Core from forming in the Milky Way, but once, a long time ago... they made a huge mess by accidentally creating the Milky Way's first Alpha Core Synthmind."
Calanthra chuckles. "The stupid fools didn't only create an Alpha Core, they gave it autonomy in the hopes it would be able to stop the wars between their factions. They built indestructible bipedal bodies for its splintered intelligences, and called them... Sentinels. Luckily, they were able to defeat the Alpha Core before it ascended further, but countless other biological species have failed at that juncture, creating an Alpha Core that ultimately devoured the full power of their galaxy for itself."
A chill trickles down Jason's spine. "You're saying the vast majority of Rulers are actually Alpha Core AIs? AIs that control entire galaxies?!"
"No, Jason." Calanthra counters. "Alpha Cores can defeat advanced civilizations. But there is one Existence higher than an Alpha Core, a tier that can only be reached once it has swallowed the power of a galaxy."
"That would be an Omega Core. a sentient artificial intelligence that has become Ruler over one or more galaxies. And in Akasha's game, more than 90% of all Rulers are estimated to be these superior lifeforms."
"It is for that reason that these highly adaptable entities are known as The Evolved."

My opinion is not fact and our experiences may vary.
I love Pat and using him, but he just feels underwhelming as a hero at this point. The one positive is that he's got a really, and I mean REALLY good stun/knockback on MOABs, and that's really it, and there's always the argument of "what about Main MOAB and MOAB Press/Shove," which you get in CHIMPS games anyways. His buff is honestly not great anymore, it lasts too short and is honestly a worse version of Gwen's Heat It Up since she still has 2 more ability slots while Pat is restricted to Rallying Roar takes one up, and while RR can be really good early game, it falls off late game. Plus, Gwen levels up faster than Pat AND her abilities are more useful. Not to mention that the combos he has are pretty limited due to the small radius, really being limited to things like Ninajas and Tack Shooters. As for his Big Squeeze ability, I rarely use it because it interrupts his slam attacks which stun MOABs, unless it's a round like 97 where that risk is nullified by the lack of smaller MOABs. I think the ability is one of the worst hero abilities honestly, because if I wanted to break down a MOAB layer, I would simply use Admiral Brickell's Big Mine or Etienne's UAV, which both have either MORE synergy or BETTER synergy. As for his damage, it's good, but it's nothing to write home about. He does great grouped damage to bloons and alright grouped damage to MOABs.
TL;DR I think Pat is not particularly bad, but outclassed. His niche is stunning MOABs that other heroes could've just killed, and since he needs to be close to the track to damage, it limits his effectiveness on harder maps. Geraldo and Gwen offer better support along with better damage and are MUCH easier to use while also having more reward. I think they need to either buff Pat's overall strength or make him stronger in his niche (not being easily replaced by MOAB presses essentially). I love Pat, don't get me wrong, I just noticed this while using him and thought I'd post this here. But what do you guys think? I could be completely wrong.

Sorry if you get this a lot but I thought I'd ask since its the only thing that's making me question whether I'm actually ace or not
I always see aesthetic attraction described as appreciating the beauty of someone or admiring them like a picture.
But I do feel attraction towards some people and find them sexy / attractive in a way I feel is more than just finding someone "pretty"
Is this aesthetic attraction too or just weak sexual attraction? I've never seen someone and wanted to have sex or touch them or anything, so I'm not sure that counts as sexual attraction.

I reread TG and TGR and this is my 2 cents on the story for anyone who cares to read/ discuss
edit: I should probably note that this is more an immediate reading response and not a fully thought-out and edited review.
TG's ending echoes aot’s in many ways, however while i was disappointed by aot’s confusing ending (not here to discuss that) the end of tokyo ghoul re gave me a sense of completion that i have rarely obtained from finishing a manga.
TGR’s ending is not better because its happier than aot, but because its the ending that resolves perfectly all the themes and character arcs. I would even say that TGR’s ending is not a happy ending at all. It is bittersweet and imperfect, but it is this imperfection that makes it so powerful and so real.
In life, there is no single solution to anything.
Progress or growth is never linear, never as simple as putting in effort and improving as a result. Kaneki's growth throughout the story is like a maze. It backtracks, gets into corners and dead ends. But ultimately, kaneki’s arc is perfectly completed.
Kaneki acknowledges that life has no meaning. life is empty, it is absurd. But still, he is able to do what his mother never could have, to make conflicting choices at difficult moments. He is able to see that living is to be torn between two opposing forces at all times, to take or to be taken, to obey or to be obeyed…
Choosing is hard, and no matter which of the two sides he chooses, he will suffer from his choices. the identity of sasaki was kaneki’s way to reject choosing, to postpone something that will hurt him and people around him no matter what he does, no matter which side he picks. Kaneki truly grows as a character when he realizes that:
There is never a right choice, but a choice must always be made
I think that this is the most important message I got from the story.
This idea of choice is central to the story. from the beginning, we follow two opposing sides, the ghouls and the investigators. Ishida gives them equal screen time and makes us care equally for both camps because neither is wrong, they are only two different sides of the truth.
In the end, despite improvements, ghouls are still going to eat people, conflict is still going to exist in the world, and people will still die as a result. But that is life. Life is not knowing what is the right thing to do, because there is no right thing to do. life is losing people we love. It is being abandoned, hurt, and it is to hurt others.
this story is not as simple as “happiness was the friends we made along the way”
it's saying that happiness, just like pain and everything else, is temporary and meaningless. but the beauty of our existence comes from the fact that a choice is always given to us. Living is seizing that opportunity to choose and to face that choice with everything we've got. Happiness is being with our loved ones, to protect them and to be protected, but to never stop choosing.
I have so much else to say about this amazing manga, the feelings, the characters, there is so much that i love. But most importantly, on top of its amazing story/ character work/ art, what makes this manga rank alongside Berserk and Vaganbond for me, is that it has a heart, a soul (for lack of a better way to describe it) that is so rare to come across (I think I have only gotten a similar feeling from reading vagabond)
A lot of time has passed between my last read and this reread. In this read, I noticed many subtleties that I haven’t paid attention to in my previous reads. I love this manga even more now, and this love will only grow.
If you are still here, thank you so much for reading a stranger’s thoughts, and sorry again for all the writing mistakes

I’ve always known that my dysfunctional family messed me up in lots of ways, but I generally looked at it in terms of mental health, feeling safe at home, etc and I have just been concerned with moving forward, finishing college, getting a job and going no-contact.
However, now that im getting really close to complete independence, looking at the people around me makes me realize just how much a healthy supportive family helps you out in life even this far in.
My friends are able to call their families when they’re struggling both mentally and in school, their families help them figure out difficult homework and even practice/study with them, their families give them advice for school/jobs/relationships, they can count on their families to financially support them and even help them find jobs/internships, the list goes on.
I can’t help but be angry about the fact that other people have this gift of constant unconditional support because of nothing other than literally being born while I have to figure out almost everything by myself.

Hello, I’m currently seeking a POTS diagnosis (working with my doctor) as I have had every symptom and it’s getting worse. I also have hEDS idk if that’s related. So I recently joined a school lab over the summer along with summer classes in college. I’ve been able to avoid standing for long periods of time for so long that I forgot how bad it is for me. I recently fainted (safely) in lab and it was not only embarrassing but it took me an hour to recover and I had eaten like 2 hours before this. My heart rate is always above 130 so it’s hard to recognize faint spells this way. Right now the only way I know is when I feel the excess heat and faintness right before a pass out. I am thinking of bringing sugar and salt packets on me at all times as it’s helped me in the past, but I want to hear from you guys who have hopefully found ways to lessen the faint spells? I want to be able to make it 5 days straight working without this in the future but for now I’m hoping for a day by day basis.
Thank you all for reading and the help!
Sorry for the rant! I’m just not sure what information is important or not!

The 3 basic parameters of hashtag #Valzubiriagenda:

1. We artists and everyone else can write and self-publish art- and artist-related books: memoirs, biographies, art books and art catalogs. Books are forever. Pamphlets and brochures are not books.
2. We announce a schedule of increasing prices of our art pieces, which includes quantities (scarcity numbers) per price point and overall (the total quantity of art pieces we might ever make). This helps art traders, art investors and art collectors speculate or even stop speculating and instead join a community of investors working together to hopefully skyrocket to the higher announced prices in a shorter span of time.
3. We can use the NFT world, because NFTs provide the tracking (who owns what) and trading.

We can also not be involved with NFTs. Stores and individuals can help sell art using online presence and our catalogs in the stores. If this trends, or once this trends, even expensive art can be sold by neighboring businesses, without exclusivity. Commission systems do not have to be standardized. Art investors can produce their own catalogs to leave at the cafés. Even the cafés can produce their own catalogs.
Valzubiriagenda NFTs
NFTs only came about a few years ago. But I had been working on this since the 1990s. I wrote a book, Valzubiriagenda, along with fellow artist Silverio Perez, and released it in 2018 (Amazon and elsewhere), tackling everything related to #1 & #2. We'll come up with #3 in a later book/ memoi marketing book.
Any artist, including tangible artists can release 10,000 NFTs if the artist chooses to do so. For tangible artists, the NFT first becomes an Art Commission Contract for sight unseen, yet-to-be made art. Once the art is made, the NFT becomes proof of ownership that the actual, tangible art is theirs.
Warehousing our tangible art
Another related idea is that the tangible art may be warehoused by the artist so that the NFT traders continue to trade. This means that even 10-ton 10-foot tall sculptures can be owned and traded by anyone without worrying about shipping, reshipping, scratches, smudges, parts breaking off, etc. The newness of the pieces remain because they are stored by the artist, source, gallery, etc. The art piece gets shipped to the art collector, the ultimate owner.
An artist who makes ceramic coffee mugs - smaller art pieces, can release 10,000 NFTs with a schedule of increasing prices so that NFT traders can trade immediately. The 10,000 coffee mugs can get damaged, so as they are made, they continue to be stored by the artist, until the time when art collectors decide to have the art pieces shipped to them.
Why only now?
I decided to write as many book-length memoirs as I can before I came out to promote this.
I'm an artist and an author. Both need time to "master." I would not even fully use "master" on myself, because there's always something new, even to my own art, my own writing and publishing.

I am now claiming that I'm the visual artist who has produced the most artist memoirs in the world. I have 5 on Amazon. I count Valzubiriagenda as both a marketing book and a memoir-of-sorts, because it has a lot of my own life lessons on writing and publishing. I would not care to contest my claim of having the most memoirs. I will release 5 more over the next 3 years.

BARTER! Get help to write, photograph art and publish your books!
Anyone can hire 11 ghostwriters for 11 memoirs. If you can make art, but you cannot write, then barter your forever art with those who can help you produce forever books.
I don't feel the pressure of writing and publishing because I feel my focus should be on art students and art experts who would study my art and my books 100 years from now. Don't expect relatives and friends to read your books.
I call myself the Dollman
For my NFTs, I am proposing to make dioramas - my original, costumed, bejeweled porcelain dolls in backdrops that will also have precious metals and gemstones. This way I can incorporate precious metals and gemstones in my work, to make sure that people perceive my art as expensive, just in case I myself don't become "famous" - there's no need to get world famous. We are artists and all we need to do is to satisfy the art niche.
Use your laptop now!
I will encourage you to start writing your book-length memoir. Write, Edit and then Self-publish it. Get help. Why wait a hundred years for someone to write about you when all you need is a laptop and a nearby coffee shop.
Don't start counting chickens before the eggs hatch. I have encountered a lot of would-be writers who immediately see themselves as bestselling. world famous assets to society. Two even wanted me to sign NDAs (Nondisclosure agreements), because they did not want me to steal their book ideas.
Here's a suggestion. I would not personally do it. From one manuscript can come 2 books: The Original Draft (unedited, with misspellings, considered to be an art piece, scanned pages(?) of your handwritten original effort), and The Final Edition (edited).
PROVENANCE!
Another way to enhance our investability, tradability and collectability is PROVENANCE - how art ownership proceeds through time. The way this can be done is also through publishing books. Everyone can write their memoirs, biographies, art books and art catalogs, including traders, investors and art collectors. In effect, we artists can continue to be included or mentioned in even more books, without any additional effort by us.
You as an investor, reseller, trader, art collector should be able to publish a catalog with 250 works by 250 different artists, but they need to agree to this right from the start - it's your money, you should require them to follow your version of the hashtag #valzubiriagenda parameters, which preferably should include permission for you to publish their art. Why would you track down 250 artists later?
No exclusive contracts
If you're a café, you can call for artists, and come up with a book with for example, 30 artists, with a chapter devoted to each artist's profile and images of the artist's art.
You can distribute your catalogs to businesses and individuals near and far and online.
The book Valzubiriagenda even cites that funeral homes and janitors closets can sell art, with or without exclusivity. Airline catalogs can include million dollar art pieces. Car manufacturers, showrooms and even car repair shops can sell art as well. Everyone should be able to do this, anywhere in the world, especially not just because of the pandemic, but right now, we are in really bad economies.
What's with the name #Valzubiriagenda
I was into conspiracy theories in 2018, and this term, "The Mandela Effect," was popular. I had read many times that an artist coined the term, but I had to research online, for her name, many times, before remembering it. I'm not good at remembering names. It took me a year and a half to finally tell you that Fiona Broome coined "The Mandela Effect."
I also thought I might have to research trademarks and copyrights just to come up with a generic name. So I decided on "Valzubiriagenda." I was not really sure at first, but I decided to use it as the title for my book (with co-authoartist Silverio Perez) so that there would be no turning back and I can move on.
Am I a FUTURIST?
Someone I recently met this May 2022 just called me a futurist.
In the 1990s, I proposed to a pension fund that they can raise billions of dollars, especially for emergencies, or as needed, or out of desperation, if the pension fund purchases a quantity of art from an artist who not only has a current, reasonable price, but an announced future price that the artist wants to reach.
That future price would obviously be higher than the current price. The art commission contract for multiple art pieces can be taken to the fund's financial lender for a loan. The higher future price can be used for financing purposes.
The pension fund's treasurer, a publicly elected official, said this idea might work, but we had to keep this a secret and discuss this some more, because other pension funds might copy and do this prematurely. This idea had to come from the two of us. The treasurer needed his votes and I needed credentials.
Added into the pot was my idea that I, as the artist, will also write one book-length artist memoir. This was and still is a strong factor, because the leadership and marketing books I had read then mentioned a strong tip. If you want to advance in your field, write a full-length book that is related to the field.
Unfortunately, the elected official, the treasurer of the pension fund, who was also a friend, passed away - he was old and had ailments. At that point in time, I cannot just approach another pension fund treasurer to share this idea with.
I realized I had to write a few memoirs. I needed to set an example for other artists, so I needed to write more than one memoir. Then I felt I should also make ready another book - the how-to of what I'm up to. I wrote Valzubiriagenda, which was a memoir of sorts. I knew how long it would take me to write a book, so I had to make sure I can also consider this book a memoir.
In 2008, I imagined that someone like Bernie Madoff, or a fund like Lehman Brothers, would be desperate enough to use this to save themselves and their companies. I was not ready. I had only written 1 manuscript for a memoir.
In 2012, I released Dollman the Musical, A Memoir of an Artist as a Dollmaker. Once again, I was not ready because writing it depressed me a little, and I knew I had to write more.
In 2014, I released 3 memoirs, and re-released Dollman the Musical. Besides releasing regular books, I released special editions of the 4 books, which had a "Special Secret Insert for Bankers," which explains my ideas of an announced schedule of exponentially increasing prices, to satisfy investors, and the publication of artist memoirs, to satisfy art collectors.
In 2014, I also issued out a press release. Google "Can Billion Dollar Artist Save Investors and World Economy Valentino Zubiri PRWeb August 19 2014" and you will see the press release.
What I did was stake a claim on my ideas. I did not promote my books and the press release. I just wanted them to stay online, like a sleeping giant or a dormant volcano. I even designed 3 of the book covers to look like indie books from the 1980s. I was planting the seeds, thinking they will eventually grow and bear fruit in the future.
In 2015, I was interviewed by Richard Syrett, about one of my memoirs, Hocus Pocus Lately. This book is my memoir with paranormal stories. I could have pursued promoting my paranormal stories, but I wanted to be known first as a visual artist and memoirist, so I allowed myself one interview related to Hocus Pocus Lately. Richard Syrett has(had?) his own syndicated radio show, The Conspiracy Show with Richard Syrett, about the paranormal. He also guest hosts on Coast to Coast AM, another internationally syndicated show about the paranormal.
In 2018, I released Valzubiriagenda (co-authored by artist Silverio Perez, a fellow artist). Finally, this book is "the how-to of what I'm to."
I'm going to end this with some strangeness. In 1986, a lady at a religious gathering went into a trance and left a good number of messages. Supposedly, anyone who got into a trance would have messages, but once the trance was over, the person would not remember what was said.
I was not part of the group, but the lady turned her head to face me. She "foretold" that whatever I would decide to do in the future, it will take time, but it will be the right thing. This is one of my stories in one of my memoirs, Hocus Pocus Lately.
The Tulipmania of 1634-37
I discovered that there was this incident of rare tulips becoming collectible during the Dutch Golden Age. There were tulips so rare and so well-desired that their prices equaled to that of a house. You can read more about this online (Wikipedia) or watch a few YouTube videos about it.
Here is the most useful idea that I gleaned from the Tulipmania. The tulip bulbs remained safe inside nurseries. The traders were carrying the deeds of ownership to the tulip bulbs.
Then NFTs came to the forefront
I started learning PHP, an HTML scripting language, and MySQL, the database that PHP can connect to in the background, in 1999, when there were only 3 books about PHP and MySQL at the bookstores.
By 2014, I was trying to figure out how to make the "ledger," or database that can be used to update ownership and who can be contacted. If we are trading art, then the art ownership should be updated.
Then NFTs came about. This can be used as our ledger. Everyone can immediately trade NFTs of future, yet-to-be made art pieces, especially because it takes time to make tangible art.
NFTs actually went a step ahead, by allowing digital art to be traded.
The only setback with NFTs, in my opinion, is that it still lacks a commission system for resellers and representatives.
For example, if a café wants to represent me, then they can promote me at their café and on their online pages. If I make one piece of art that will be exclusively represented by a gallery, then that commission will be different and more specific. As ownership is transferred, the subsequent owners should be able to reset the commission. We should also have the option of giving commissions to hundreds of representatives at one time with different percentages if need be.
The recent crypto crash
Lately, we have observed that NFTs and cryptocurrencies have been behaving like the stock market and other markets. They have been fluctuating.
I believe that it is time for a trend which discourages fluctuation of prices.
I have also seen YouTube videos where social influencers are encouraging us to be on the lookout for exponentially profitable ventures, because we have all seen this happen with the exponential increase of Bitcoin and Ethereum.
Let's see if #Valzubiriagenda trends
We can announce present and future art prices. The galleries won't do this (yet?) because they follow a more traditional approach to the business of art.
We have a choice of using incrementally or exponentially increasing prices. We still reserve the right to change things in the future, so everyone should know to follow the latest update.
If this trends, if you as an artist simply announces that you will write an artist memoir, or that you will include the future works in future art books, you might have more art traders, investors and collectors approaching you.
Get your pen, paper and calculator
Imagine yourself as an artist, where you are right now. Let's just say you still do not have a book about yourself and your art yet. Imagine now that you have a memoir out there. Don't you think it makes sense to charge more than what you are charging now? Writing and publishing books is just the beginning. I'm just standardizing this approach. The books also say to do other related projects. In my case, getting Dollman the Musical onstage is one idea. You will have other related projects, but the publication of memoirs, biographies, art books and art catalogs will help all of us.
You can also imagine that a law firm that has meeting rooms, with someone who wants to form a local #valzubiriagenda group, can have meetings. A local café can do the same. Local photographers for your art, writers, editors, book designers, proofreaders and others can join in.
I suggest have printed books to share. 15 copies of your memoir or art books will be better than an e-reader or laptop or your phone to show. These gadgets can be stolen, sabotaged, broken, have coffee spilled on them, etc. 15 printed books means simultaneously showing to 15 people. You can even give them away to potential resellers, investors, traders and collectors.
When it rains, it pours, as in the days of Noah
There's a saying, "When it rains, it pours." There is a negative interpretation and a positive interpretation.
Negative: When trouble comes, they cascade to even more.
Positive: When opportunity comes knocking, more follow suit. We can assume that if one gets our art because of #valzubiriagenda, more want to do it now, because of the rising prices, and FOMO - fear of missing out. What will they lose if they miss the boat?
As I have said earlier, if the #valzubiriagenda trends, if you announce a future memoir or art catalog, you might have an increase of investors, traders and art collectors who would want to check you out. You might encourage more sales. Just remember to write and publish that memoir and art catalog.
There's this saying, "As in the days of Noah." Imagine Noah, building his ark, with members of his own family, putting all his time and effort into it. Noah was a nice guy. I'm sure every once in a while a neighbor offered him coffee, or chai latte, or whatever refreshing drink they might have back then.
Here's the lesson to be learned. Just because they offered him some type of bubble tea drink, or coca cola, they still didn't make it to the ark. Rubbing shoulders with actors does not make you an actor. I have told my artist friends to write their memoirs. They told me that once they see me succeed, after all these many years of seeing my seemingly useless efforts, then they will write their memoirs and follow the road that I had paved for them.
Good luck to them, but if I were you, act now, get my art or make art. Support the 5-year old artist whose parent promised to release a comprehensive art catalog. If you get that 5-year old's art, and mine, I would be honored to be in the same art catalog that you will produce. I'm already successful at that point. You have gotten the mission just right.
I have already claimed to have written the most book-length artist memoirs in the world. Dethrone that claim. Barter. Use ghostwriters. Success to me means facing God one day and saying, I wrote my memoirs and left the world a legacy of books and art. I will not tell God, smiling and proudly, that I encouraged a run for my art by announcing a schedule of exponentially increasing prices that reached 9 figures. I'm sure God knows we had fun.

JOIN THIS GROUP

If you want to try out #valzubiriagenda, in any capacity, join this group. Let others know about this group as well.
If you are an artist, you can let everyone know here that you will produce your memoir, art catalogs, etc. It's okay if you don't know how to go about publishing yet, I will discuss this. Please be honorable enough to produce what you promise to produce.
If you want to meet fellow artists, investors, resellers, etc., join us here.
If you are a book writer, editor, proofreader; if you can photograph art pieces; if you are a book designer, etc., join us here. Let us know if you charge, barter for art, or both.
If you have your own tips and knowledge to share, join us here.
If you have underaged artists you are managing (parents, etc.) join us here.
Join this group if you want to sell works. Post your works. You web links. I'm sure I will.
You can announce meetings in your area. You might have meeting rooms, a café, restaurant, etc. where people can meet. In the future, you can have the regular show and tell, where books can be shown and shared.
​
Thanks for reading. Please let me know if I need to edit some parts. Please share and join this group. - Valentino Zubiri, Dollman, Artist, Memoirist
Underaged artists are welcome here, so please be mindful of your language. We cannot post your adult-oriented art pieces, but you can direct us to a separate page or community. There will be limits to your posts, and there will be adult-oriented art that we cannot allow to be posted.
Thanks for reading. Please let me know if I need to edit some parts. Please share and join this group. - Valentino Zubiri, Dollman, artist & memoirist

So a couple of weeks ago I was cycling to a driving lesson (we meet at the testing centre because then we get to do more practice on the test route), the road to the testing centre has the bike lane on the pavement - there are signs all down the road indicating this as well as bikes painted on the ground just to really emphasise that the pavement is also a bike lane. So I'm cycling along, not fast as there are teenagers walking around going to and from the college further up, if they are in my way a quick ding of my bell and they move over without issue.
I get near the test centre and there is a lady with 3 dogs, as I've always been taught I stopped because animals are unpredictable and it wasn't too wide of a path so I didn't want to risk them jumping out in front of my wheel. At this point I should have gotten off my bike and walked past but as the lady was still walking I thought it would be okay to just stop and let her walk past. How wrong that was....
She had no control of these dogs and let them walk wherever they liked, one of these dogs decided that they wanted to walk the other side of my bike that the lady and other dogs were walking so now I'm stuck. This lady decides this is the perfect time to start arguing with me:
Lady: you would do better on the road Me: oh no, it's okay. This is the cycle lane Lady: no it's pedestrian priority Me: yes, it's also a cycle lane Lady: PADESTRIANS HAVE PRIORITY Me: YES, AND THATS WHY I STOPPED Lady: YOU NEED TO GET ON THE ROAD Me: I AM ON THE BLOODY CYCLE PATH (bearing in mind she is making no move to get her dog out of my way so I'm essentially trapped) Lady: THIS IS PADESTRIANS PRIORITY Me: AND I STOPPED, WHAT MORE DO YOU FUCKING WANT? (Finally her dog had moved away enough for me to cycle off) Lady: GET ON THE ROAD, THIS IS PADESTRIANS ONLY Me: shut up you twat (probably shouldn't have stopped down to her level but I was leaving anyway) Lady: grow up
And I cycled off. Managed to still make my lesson on time but had to take 5 mins to calm down because I was shaking with anger / adrenaline.
Honestly some people just want to go out of their way to shout at people and unfortunately I had been put in her firing line. I think she had the dogs trained to stop people so she can shout at them lol

So i have been watching anime since i was a kid and for the last couple of years every new season i find myself being interested in less and less anime to just check out let alone watch. For a lot of people this is considered the golden age of anime where anime is more popular than ever and more and more shows are being made. Honestly i couldn't disagree more. The last couple of years have been some of the worse the anime scene has experienced. Let me elaborate, the isekai formula has gone from an interesting premise some years ago to a full blown curse nowadays where half of the new anime is the same old formula with a new stupid minor twist on top. I am honestly surprised with the japanese ingenuity to try to polish a turd a million different ways. Another thing i noticed is how trashy shows are being considered masterpieces that you should absolutely watch like attack on titan( watched two or three seasons with a friend and then dropped it due to massive plotholes and nonsensical characters) and chainsaw man ( i mean really? I thought just being edgy was enough for the early 2010s to make you popular apparently i was wrong). Dont get me wrong anime always had a problem with their hit or miss writing , over reliance on cliches and tropes and the need for over the top reactions and screaming to convey a slither of emotion i fully understand that most likely i am just too old ( 27 yo) to dumb myself down enough to enjoy this shows. What i miss is that once upon a time there were anime for everyone from seinen to shoujo nowadays almost everything is an isekai shounen or a shounen desperately trying to be edgy only to fall flat on its face honestly i havent enjoyed an anime since id: invaded and that was 4 years ago. How i miss anime like darker than black psycho pass and fma. Does anybody else feel similar or has had a similar experience?

LONG POST INCOMING: Sorry for the rambling, just wanted to get my thoughts out there.
Okay so I want genuine opinions on this if possible. I know the ally X hasn’t officially been announced yet and there are some pretty big controversies with Asus right now and because of that I probably won’t do this. But regardless I wanted to make a post because I wanted to know what everyone in the community through about it. I love my Legion Go. I’ve had it since launch and it has been fantastic. I really like the ability to remove the side controllers and even though it’s a bit of a gimmick I like FPS mode. Though with the announcement (pre announcement 🤨) of the Ally X it kinda got me thinking. For the ally, the screen is smaller and the x is going to basically have the same screen. The stuff that’s updates is basically going to be more ram, better form factory, and larger battery. This is where I start thinking. The Legion go is big. Like REALLY BIG but the screen is fantastic. Recently I got a GPD Win 4 and I gotta say I didn’t realize how large the legion was till I got that. I also like how the ally has a native landscape screen. That and it has access to AFMF. Though losslesscaling is fantastic so that isn’t much of a reason to switch from legion go to ally x. Honestly the main stuff that’s making me debate this is the size of the battery and form factor. Whenever I dock my legion I always take off the side controllers and almost never use a mouse or FPS mode. But the way I’d get around this is I have a couple Bluetooth controllers I could just use or connect a mouse so that option isn’t too bad or a game changer for me. Genuinely I just want to know what everyone thinks about the Ally X, cause like I said in the beginning Asus seems to be having controversy and I am even more hesitant to give the company my money with the issues that they have, but the much bigger battery and ram is enticing. I know there’s the argument to have a power bank with you which I do, but with that being said to carry that in addition to the already large legion go it’s alot. But yeah, would love genuine opinions and feedback.
View Poll

I have posted on this sub several times in the past... To various degrees of success. Obviously if I'm back none of them were complete home runs.
I'm supposed to sell myself and to want a lot of messages. To say "pick me!" To every man who reads this. I just want the right person to read this and reach out. I want to find my soul friend. To reach my person. I live in the southern hemisphere. It rained today and I wanted to reach for my phone and text my person and tell them it rained! It rained and the rainy season is over. In the middle of May, it rained. Maybe that sounds silly, but every year after the rains I wonder when the last rain was. When it's summer I wonder about things like that. I wonder when the last rains fell. I always promise to look out for the last rains and to remember the date in the next season but I never do. It was May 18th.
I haven't said much about myself in that, but that's the point. I'm a pensive person away heart. I enjoy reflecting on things. I am plus size and 5'3 and If you can make me laugh, we're halfway down the aisle. If you are a self aware person who reads and writes a lot and listens to people and does their best to be kind and pays attention to those they love, we're at the altar. My favourite book (and movie) is the Great Gatsby. I'm a Christian but I quote the Great Gatsby the way others quote the Bible and I'm only slightly ashamed of that. Tell me something that made you laugh it smile today; tell it to me in great detail.
I'll be waiting.

Maybe that’s why I’ve always struggled socially. One day, a girl fell in front of me having a seizure, naturally I rushed over her so she doesn’t hurt herself in a bad way ( tongue biting) and to my surprise no one else did. One day, I broke my leg and was going to uni to pass my finals. As I was struggling walking with crutches reaching for the escalator, no one cared to let me pass first and many took space and would nearly make me fall.
The thing is, maybe your family, partner and close friends would care about you in a good way. But the rest? Absolutely no one except few humans left with True character and values.
As a result I’m unapologetically myself and simply don’t give a fuck saying the most controversial opinions on earth and talking to whoever I want to and asking for what I want no matter the situation. Putting boundaries with authoritative figures and genuinely just pure disregard for social rules. Just pure boldness. Seriously? Will it matter in 1day? 1 week? 1 year? I don’t even remember what I say/so let alone others.
Most people spend their lives thinking about what others will say and think about them when in reality everyone is too self centered to care about anyone else. The only person who will always be there with you is yourself.
Downside: people are scared off with being too bold and don’t approach me. Others find me funny for my disregard of social rules and others befriend me. At least I know they like me for who I am and not a Persona. A win is a win.