Hi I'm looking for a Fanfiction I read ages ago, I think Rachel tried to kill herself but was saved by Emma, Sue and bestie I think she quits glee, does gymnastics I think, I think she has a diary full of the abuse and bullying and the geeks end up reading it and Mr shue does and I think he leaves at the end of the year, not to sure if Shelby and Jessie come back but she tells them she doesn't need them
Thanks in advance 😊

Hi friends! I've made the slightly unhinged decision of sharing my ranking of all (well, close to all) the songs that were featured on Glee. This is part 7 out of... probably like, 50. Because Glee has a lot of songs. A LOT.
4 years ago, I also hosted a very extensive ranking where the sub got to participate in ranking the entire Glee soundtrack, and you can see the results here! Let me know if you guys want a redo of this, and I'll find a less consuming way to make this happen, because that ish was HARD.
If you coincidentally also have ranked all of the Glee songs, you are more than welcome to join and reveal your rankings as well!! Or share your opinions, everything is welcome :)
Just a quick reminder of what I've had in mind while ranking these so you guys understand more: I scored them based on vocal performance, context of the show, how it compared to the original song and how much I liked the actual production/arrangement of the Glee version. So a song could be really good, but if it was used in a bad or cringy scene, it'll affect the score negatively or the other way around!
We are still in the good tier, which are songs that I think are good, but not great. They've made it just within my range of songs that I'm okay with.

GOOD TIER

584. It Must Have Been Love

Performed by New Directions, with Kitty Wilde and Spencer Porter as leads.
This whole storyline of them finding Sue's kryptonite songs so that she wouldn't sabotage them yet again is so unhinged. I like this song a lot and they do a good job with it, although I don't think it's the best song for either of them.
Score: 59,75/100

583. Don't Cry For Me Argentina (Kurt solo version)

Performed by Kurt Hummel.
I've always found this song one of the more skippable songs, but I can't deny that they sound good in it. If we have to compare vocals though, Kurt definitely is weaker in this than Rachel, and it suits Rachel more.
Score: 60/100

582. Don't Make Me Over

Performed by Mercedes Jones.
Me finding out that this was Amber's favorite song to sing was mind-blowing because this has always been my least favorite Mercedes solo. I guess I understand why she enjoyed singing it so much, but for me it falls flat compared to her other songs. But, it's Mercedes so it can never be bad or even subpar.
Score: 60,1/100

581. Don't Cry For Me Argentina (Rachel solo version)

Performed by Rachel Berry.
I already said everything I needed to say two spots over.
Score: 60,15/100

580. What Happened To Saturday Night?

Performed by Carl Howell (with New Directions).
A very fun performance by a pretty cool character. Can't complain.
Score: 60,2/100

579. Don't Cry For Me Argentina

Performed by Kurt Hummel & Rachel Berry.
But nothing beats Hummelberry together!
Score: 60,2/100

578. Everybody Talks

Performed by Jake Puckerman & Kitty Wilde.
I don't think their voices usually go well together, but they do here.
Score: 60,25/100

577. Love Is A Battlefield

Performed by Blaine Anderson & Kurt Hummel.
Another good duet that feels balanced between the two - they both sound equally good here.
Score: 60,3/100

576. Hey, Soul Sister

Performed by the Warblers, with Blaine Anderson as lead.
They sound great and I used to like this song, but now I don't, so this is lower than I would've put it, say, 12 years ago.
Score: 60,33/100

575. Outcast

Performed by New Directions, with Jake Puckerman, Kitty Wilde, Marley Rose, Ryder Lynn and Unique Adams as leads.
I love season 4 group numbers, they are always so wholesome and there's this nostalgic yet fresh feeling to them. I really liked that the newbies did the leads on this one too. Also, does anyone else ask themselves how Artie got up on that stage so quickly??
Score: 60,4/100

574. Help!

Performed by Blaine Anderson and Sam Evans (with all the show choirs in Ohio).
And the most unrealistic scene goes to... I just get so caught up in the logistics of this, because there's just no way they would travel all around Ohio in one day like that and like, how is each show choir randomly practicing whenever they get there? And do they have time to just tag along? Anyway. Good song.
Score: 60,45/100

573. It's Too Late

Performed by Blaine Anderson and Kurt Hummel.
The way this feels like the 20th Klaine duet I'm writing about already, but I know there's still so much more to come. I didn't care for this song much during the time season 6 was on, but I've since learned to love the original and then realized that the Glee version isn't all that bad either.
Score: 60,5/100

572. Piano Man

Performed by Blaine Anderson.
To be honest, I prefer the Will Schuester and Bryan Ryan scene, but their version isn't included in this ranking, so I wanna take this opportunity to give a shoutout to them. Blaine doesn't do a bad job, though.
Score: 60,55/100

571. Shout It Out Loud

Performed by Artie Abrams, Finn Hudson and Noah Puckerman.
A solid song and solid vocal performances from all of them. I've never had a problem with this song, but it's always been one of those songs I skip more often than I don't.
Score: 60,6/100

570. As If We Never Said Goodbye

Performed by Kurt Hummel.
I really liked that this wasn't just a choir room song, but that there was a montage of him in different places of McKinley, and I really liked how this scene captured how happy everyone was to have him back, but also how happy Kurt was to be back.
Score: 60,67/100

569. Fire

Performed by April Rhodes and Will Schuester.
Not gonna lie, their season 1 duets always hit. This one is the least interesting out of them imo, but they still sound great and it's a cute song.
Score: 60,7/100

568. Chasing Pavements

Performed by New Directions, with Marley Rose as lead.
I love the actual scene/performance of this because I remember how new it all seemed when this aired. Marley starting off the song and watching the rest of the group rehearse was so different, but it really set the tone for season 4. It was also really rare to see Schue actually directing them and rehearsing choreography with them, so that was fun as well. I don't think she measures up to Adele with this song, her voice is a little too... plain? But she does a decent enough job.
Score: 60,75/100

567. Bridge Over Troubled Water

Performed by Mercedes Jones.
Usually I think gospel covers of songs are great or make the original better, but this one I've never been particularly fond of. Mercedes' vocals are really pulling the weight on the score here.
Score: 60,8/100

566. Raise Your Glass

Performed by the Warblers, with Blaine Anderson as lead.
The Warblers sounded the best doing pop songs when Blaine was doing them. A pretty fun competition number, it's one of their best competition numbers imo.
Score: 60,85/100

565. Torn

Performed by Rachel Berry.
Usually, I don't think these type of songs suit her very well, but I think this one does.
Score: 60,9/100
That's it for now! Are any of your favorites here?

I think this is a spoiler? Idk I’m just some 15 year old that recently finished glee but anyway here’s my unpopular opinion: I think Spencer and Alistair were my favorite mlm couple, this is unpopular according to the people who say Spencer was an asshole and he had more chemistry with Roderick which I actually kinda agree with that last one😭
I am also a gay dude and I understand how older gay people were just so gleeful that they saw people like them on Glee (Kurt, Santana, Brittany) but like I said I’m pretty young and I just felt way more connected with the “post modern gay” than essentially, in my opinion, the stereotype of a gay man. So that’s definitely why I liked Spencer and Alistair a lot.
I would honestly liked them more than any other couple if their characters were treated the same way as Klaine and had more depth, atp I dream of a glee spinoff of just the new new directions no matter how horrible that would be😭

If this isn't allowed then I apologize and is totally fine with it's removal.
This site who has previously posted auctioned and signed scrips wrote that in the script for The First Time Brittany says this:
“I lost my virginity to one of the counselors at cheerleading camp. He was 19 and I was only 14. I thought it would make me feel grown up, but it just made me feel weird.” instead of the "came in to my tent alien invasion" that we got. The latter implies something similar but could be argued is still vague enough but the former outright just say it.
It could be fake and made up of course so don't take my word for it but considering that other parts mentioned by the site such as the scene with Finn and Kurt discussing Kurt not having done it yet with Blaine and the Klaine dancing to You Spin Me Right Round with Sebastian there is also real, I can only hope this wasn't...
Extra Credit: What’s Cut from The First Time Script? Deconstructing Glee

Hi friends! I've made the slightly unhinged decision of sharing my ranking of all (well, close to all) the songs that were featured on Glee. This is part 6 out of... probably like, 50. Because Glee has a lot of songs. A LOT.
4 years ago, I also hosted a very extensive ranking where the sub got to participate in ranking the entire Glee soundtrack, and you can see the results here! Let me know if you guys want a redo of this, and I'll find a less consuming way to make this happen, because that ish was HARD.
If you coincidentally also have ranked all of the Glee songs, you are more than welcome to join and reveal your rankings as well!! Or share your opinions, everything is welcome :)
Just a quick reminder of what I've had in mind while ranking these so you guys understand more: I scored them based on vocal performance, context of the show, how it compared to the original song and how much I liked the actual production/arrangement of the Glee version. So a song could be really good, but if it was used in a bad or cringy scene, it'll affect the score negatively or the other way around!
We are still in the good tier, which are songs that I think are good, but not great. They've made it just within my range of songs that I'm okay with.

GOOD TIER

605. The Rain In Spain

Performed by Blaine Anderson, Finn Hudson, Mike Chang and Noah Puckerman.
This song is so random and I don't know who even came up with the thought of having this on the show, but it's not bad. Not going to lie, I wish I ranked this lower but I can't go back now, lmao.
Score: 58,2/100

604. My Sharona

Performed by The Warblers, with Skylar as lead.
Well, I don’t have a comment about this one now because I thought this was done by VA this whole time.
Score: 58,25/100

603. Jingle Bell Rock

Performed by Sam Evans.
This is a cute little Christmas song, I have this on my Christmas rotation sometimes. I don't have much to say about the scene, but I did enjoy this episode as a whole.
Score: 58,3/100

602. Kiss

Performed by Holly Holiday and Will Schuester.
I used to like this song a lot more back in the day, I remember listening to this all the time. I have since listened to the original just as much, maybe even more, and revisiting this song after being familiar with Prince singing it, it just becomes so glaringly obvious that their voices sound so strained and unnatural here. I do like this ship, and it's a good song. Their chemistry during this scene was amazing!
Score: 58,33/100

601. Don't Sleep In The Subway

Performed by Artie Abrams and Rachel Berry.
Artchel getting one-on-one time and a duet was something I never, ever saw coming. I feel like the only other time they've gotten a scene together was when she asked for his help with Run Joey Run. I think it was really refreshing to see them together. The song is alright though, it rates higher for context in my opinion.
Score: 58,33/100

600. Nowadays / Hot Honey Rags

Performed by Holly Holiday and Rachel Berry.
A very fun performance, although I don't listen to this song a whole lot. I love that the way to resolve things with Rachel is to just sing a duet with her.
Score: 58,4/100

599. Wake Me Up

Performed by Rachel Berry.
Even though I very much prefer the original and never listen to this version, I do like this song choice for the storyline. It does a good job at conveying Rachel's feelings about being on Funny Girl but feeling like, "is this what I really want to be doing forever?". I wasn't a huge fan of this storyline, but it makes sense for someone as ambitious as Rachel to want something more. Getting to do your dream role as such a young age with so much life to live still and career achievements to gain, it doesn't need to be over just because you have the one thing you always wanted right now.
Score: 58,5/100

598. Raise Your Glass (Season 5)

Performed by New Directions, with April Rhodes and Will Schuester as leads.
I just know the Warblers fans who voted for this song to be featured on this episode was so mad when the show gave it to April and Will and I love the thought of that. If I were to assign this to someone else than Blaine, I'd give it to Marley and Unique or Sam, Tina and Artie. It makes the most sense for the latter to do it considering they were present for the Warblers performance of it. There are so many great moments in this scene though, like Blaine recreating a little moment from his Warblers performance, Kurt trying to take away April's flask, Unholy Trinity moment and everyone just being super unhinged. I would've liked it better if someone else was singing it, though.
Score: 58,75/100

597. Rehab

Performed by Vocal Adrenaline.
I like this introduction for Vocal Adrenaline. It set a good example of the prime show choir rival, and you just know that New Directions is never going to be that. Or do you? It is the pilot after all, we don't know where this will go. They obviously never end up reaching the level of VA; although Paradise By The Dashboard Light came pretty close to that.
Score: 58,8/100

596. Somebody Loves You

Performed by Blaine Anderson and Kurt Hummel.
This song being on Glee was so huge for me at the time, because I felt like Betty Who was just a niche artist who had a specific following, and I was so excited when I heard they were doing this song! Less excited when I found out Klaine was doing it (was hoping for a more group number type of thing), but they did a good job nonetheless.
Score: 59/100

595. The Living Years

Performed by The Hipsters.
Out of all the unhinged things Glee has done, the most forgotten one has to be a show choir consisting of senior citizens competing in a high school show choir competition. They kind of slayed though.
Score: 59,1/100

594. Get Back

Performed by Kurt Hummel and Rachel Berry.
I wasn't familiar with this song when they first did this on Glee, but I've since listened to the original and its accompanying album a lot since, and that's also made me appreciate this more. A really unexpected song choice for Hummelberry, but it works!
Score: 59,25/100

593. There's A Light (Over At The Frankenstein Place)

Performed by New Directions, with Finn Hudson, Kurt Hummel and Rachel Berry as leads.
Out of all the Rocky Horror songs, this one is my least favorite, but they all sound great in it.
Score: 59,3/100

592. Do Ya Think I'm Sexy

Performed by The Warblers, with Blaine Anderson as lead.
Does anyone know the story behind the choice of songs for these Warblers songs that was released, but was not on the show? Because they're so random, I swear.
Score: 59,33/100

591. Planet, Schmanet, Janet

Performed by Carl Howell.
I honestly did not know this song existed until this year, but I understand why they chose Whatever Happened to Saturday Night over this. They're not that different to be honest, but he definitely has more charisma in the other one.
Score: 59,4/100

590. Science Fiction Double Feature

Performed by Santana Lopez.
Santana being the lips is so iconic. Her voice is so interesting here! She has such a different tone and plays around with it a lot. I don't think she ever did something similar again.
Score: 59,45/100

589. More Than Words

Performed by New Directions, with Brittany Pierce and Sam Evans as leads.
I used to think this song was really boring, but I have since appreciated this a lot more. I think it does feature Brittany's weaknesses in her vocals though, but it's still a very sweet duet.
Score: 59,5/100

588. You're My Best Friend

Performed by Blaine Anderson (and ND as puppets?).
This whole episode made no sense, and we truly did not need such a Blaine-centric episode at this stage of the show. So, the song and the vocal performance here are pulling the weight here.
Score: 59,55/100

587. Dance The Night Away

Performed by Vocal Adrenaline, with Clint as lead.
I feel like this is the 10th time I've written about a Clint song so this has to be the last one, which means this is my favorite one out of all of them.
Score: 59,6/100

586. Rise

Performed by New Directions and the Warblers, with too many leads for me to bother to list.
Although not as nostalgic or effective as others in the same category, this song works really well for a originally written competition song. It has all the elements that make it good, and I think if it was used in season 2 or 3, it would've definitely been a bigger hit among the Glee fandom.
Score: 59,67/100

585. You're A Mean One, Mr. Grinch

Performed by k.d. lang and Will Schuester.
This must be the only time they've had a guest singer that only did a song, but wasn't a guest actor on the show? Which is wild and so random. Love the way this song was used on the show, though.
Score: 59,7/100
That's it for this part! Did you see any songs that you would've ranked higher (or lower)?

Thank you to everyone who responded to the survey posted here two months ago! I got way more results than I expected so it did take a little time. I wanted to have some fun with the results and dissect them in different ways but that'll take some time so for now, here's the first part of the results. Starting with this sub's demographic.

Demographic

Age Group:

1. 16 - 20 : 30.5%
2. 21 - 25: 24.1%
3. 26 - 30: 15.5%
4. 11 - 15: 15.0%
5. 31 - 35: 7.3%
6. 36 - 40: 4.5%
7. 46 - 50: 1.4%

Top 5 characters of each age group (in order)

Age Group	Top 5	Notes
11 - 15	Santana, Brittany, Kurt, Quinn, Blaine, Mercedes	Blaine and Mercedes are tied
16 - 20	Santana, Brittany, Kurt, Quinn, Mercedes
21 - 25	Santana, Quinn, Blaine, Finn, Kurt	Finn and Kurt are tied
26 - 30	Santana, Blaine, Kurt, Mercedes, Quinn	Mercedes and Quinn are tied
31 - 35	Santana, Rachel, Blaine, Brittany, Kurt	Blaine and Brittany are tied
36 - 40	Santana, Quinn, Blaine, Kitty, Puck, Rachel	Blaine, Kitty, Puck, Rachel are tied
46 - 50	Jane, Mercedes, Unique	All tied

Gender Identity

1. Female: 77.3%
2. Male: 15.9%
3. Prefer not to say: 2.7%
4. Non-binary: 1.4%

Sexual Orientation

1. Heterosexual: 35.5%
2. Bisexual: 18.2%
3. Lesbian: 17.7%
4. Questioning: 6.8%
5. Asexual: 6.4%
6. Gay: 5.9%
7. Pansexual: 5.0%
8. Prefer not to say: 4.5%

Sexual Orientation	Top 5	Notes
Heterosexual	Santana, Quinn, Blaine, Brittany, Sam	Sam and Brittany are tied
Bisexual	Santana, Blaine, Quinn, Kurt, Finn
Lesbian	Santana, Brittany, Quinn, Kurt, Blaine, Mercedes	Blaine and Mercedes are tied
Questioning	Santana, Kurt, Blaine, Brittany, Mercedes	Brittany and Mercedes are tied
Asexual	Blaine, Kurt, Brittany, Finn, Quinn, Rachel, Tina	Finn, Quinn, Rachel, Tina are tied
Gay	Santana, Kurt, Mercedes, Blaine Brittany	Blaine and Brittany are tied
Pansexual	Santana, Mercedes, Kurt, Blaine, Brittany	Kurt, Blaine, Brittany are tied

Where are you from?

1. North America: 62.7 %
2. Western Europe: 19.1%
3. Oceania: 8.6%
4. Central Europe: 3.6%
5. Eastern Europe: 1.8%
6. South East Asia: 0.9%
7. East Asia: 0.9%

Did you ever attend Glee Live! In Concert tour?

1. No :( : 94.5%
2. Don't know what that is :O : 2.8%
3. Yes! : 2.7%

Can the 6 people who did attend the tour please share your experience? I'm very interested in hearing about it!
Do you participate in the fandom in any other ways?

1. And That's What You Really Missed Podcast listeners: 45%
2. Fanfiction writers/readers: 43%
3. No: 28%
4. Edits: 26%
5. Fan art: 7%

I should've asked about people who do Glee rps because I know there's a few out there. If you read or write or create any fanfictions/fan art, please feel free to share them in the comments!
When did you first watch Glee?

1. 2021 - 2024 (Glee Tiktok Revival): 25.9%
2. 2009 (first premiere): 22.3%
3. 2016 - 2018 (post-Glee): 17.7%
4. 2019 - 2020 (Glee pandemic revival): 12.7%
5. 2010 (season 2 premiere): 6.4%
6. 2011 (season 3 premiere): 5.9%
7. 2015 (season 6 premiere): 3.6%
8. 2013 ( season 5 premiere): 2.7%
9. 2012 (season 4 premiere): 2.7%

56.3% poll answers are from people who started the show after it ended. 43.7% watched the show when it was still airing. Here are the characters with the biggest difference in popularity between Post Glee viewers and During Glee viewers.
Favourite Difference

1. Brittany 46% of the Post Glee viewers vote Brittany as their favorite while only 23% During Glee viewers voted for her.
2. Kurt: 41% of Post Glee viewers and 30% of During Glee viewers like him
3. Mercedes: 35% of Post Glee viewers and 24% of During Glee viewers like her
4. Marley: 15% of Post Glee viewers and 6% of During Glee viewers like her
5. Tina: 25% of Post Glee viewers and 11% of During Glee viewers like her

Interestingly, Blaine, Rachel, and Santana are the only three characters who are more popular with During Glee viewers than Post Glee viewers even though the differences are only of 1-3%.
Least Favourite Differences

1. Marley Only 5% of Post Glee viewers voted Marley as their least favorite while 15% of During Glee viewers voted for her
2. Brittany 1% of Post Glee viewers and 8% of During Glee viewers dislike her
3. Unique 13% of Post Glee viewers and 5% of During Glee viewers dislike her
4. Kitty 19% of Post Glee viewers and 13% of During Glee viewers dislike her

Characters

Favorite New Direction members

1. Santana: 15%
2. Blaine: 10%
3. Kurt: 9%
4. Brittany: 8%
5. Quinn: 8%
6. Rachel: 5%
7. Sam: 5%
8. Finn: 5%
9. Mercedes: 4%
10. Tina: 3%

Important to note that both Ryder and Alistair are the only two characters with 0 like.
Favorite S4 New Direction newbies:

1. Kitty: 35%
2. Marley: 33%
3. Unique: 23%
4. Jake: 9%
5. Ryder: 0%

Favorite S6 New Direction newbies

1. Roderick: 30%
2. Jane: 22%
3. Madison: 19%
4. Mason: 19%
5. Spencer: 8%
6. Myron: 3%
7. Alistair: 0%

Least Favorite New Direction members:

1. Ryder: 11%
2. Rachel: 9%
3. Myron: 8%
4. Puck: 8%
5. Kitty: 6%

Most Controversial New Direction members: This is calculated by selecting members with more than 30 votes with the smallest difference between the percentage of their least favorite and favorite votes.

1. Lauren
2. Rachel
3. Unique
4. Marley
5. Kitty

And that concludes the first part of the poll results which are about the characters and you! The next part should be about the performances and the ships. I will try to get it out soon but enjoy this for now!

Hi friends! I've made the slightly unhinged decision of sharing my ranking of all (well, close to all) the songs that were featured on Glee. In part 1 and 2, I revealed my bottom 40, so I'll continue from there!
4 years ago, I also hosted a very extensive ranking where the sub got to participate in ranking the entire Glee soundtrack, and you can see the results here! Let me know if you guys want a redo of this, and I'll find a less consuming way to make this happen, because that ish was HARD.
If you coincidentally also have ranked all of the Glee songs, you are more than welcome to join and reveal your rankings as well!! Or share your opinions, everything is welcome :)
We are still in the 'meh' tier, which consists of songs that I just find boring or forgettable or weird. We're going to be here a while, so I'm going to make my commentaries a bit shorter in order to fit more songs into this post.

MEH TIER

682. Yesterday

Performed by Rachel Berry. This one hurts because it is my ultimate favorite Beatles song, but she made it sound so boring <'3
Score: 45,75/100

681. Over the River and Through the Wood/She'll Be Coming 'round the Mountain

Performed by The Rosedale Mennonites. I can't say I've ever willingly listened to this on its own without having to, but it's not bad.
Score: 46,33/100

680. Promises, Promises

Performed by Rachel Berry. This song lowkey annoys me because it just reminds me of how boring I thought season 5B was.
Score: 46,67/100

679. Little Girls

Performed by Sue Sylvester. In a way I'm glad they started giving Sue more showtunes because she suits them a lot, but they were also kind of forgettable.
Score: 47/100

678. Perfect

Performed by Blaine Anderson and Kurt Hummel. I never liked this song for Klaine, although I think it was a very sweet song to do for Santana, and I just know she secretly liked it, although I lowkey agree with the snarky comments she ended up making about it.
Score: 47,5/100

677. Cheek To Cheek

Performed by Sue Sylvester and Will Schuester. I usually think the same thing about 95% of their duets and it's just that they're kind of a snooze. But they sound good!
Score: 48/100

676. I'm Still Here

Performed by Kurt Hummel. I'm aware of what a good scene this is and the song choice is great for the context, but as you might've noticed by now, I was not fully tuned in for season 5B, and I definitely think this half of the season has the weakest songs, so I kind of just am not quite able to enjoy this song.
Score: 48,25/100

675. Memory

Performed by Kurt Hummel and Maggie. To be fair, I don't really like the original all that much either.
Score: 48,3/100

674. Gangnam Style

Performed by Tina Cohen-Chang. SORRY TINA I LOVE YOU. This is still in my top 10 most played Glee songs ever though because I stand by my girl <'3 It's just not good - Tina doesn't pull off rapping and she definitely can't do it in Korean either.
Score: 48,5/100

673. What Kind Of Fool

Performed by The Warblers, with Blaine Anderson as lead. What Kind Of Fool Would Listen To This For Fun. No, I'm just kidding. It's fine, Blaine sounds good, but again, I'm rarely listening to the Warblers for fun. Especially if it's a song that wasn't on the show.
Score: 48,67/100

672. Creep

Performed by Brody Weston and Rachel Berry. This song was just not made for them. It just wasn't.
Score: 48,75/100

671. Take A Bow

Performed by Rachel Berry. Again, there are just some type of songs that Rachel just can't pull off. This song doesn't work with her theatrical voice at all. But I like that she made it sound like an aching, longing heartbreak song rather than the original which is giving more of the "you messed up, boy bye" attitude.
Score: 48,8/100

670. Toxic

Performed by New Directions, with Brittany Pierce, Rachel Berry, Santana Lopez, Tina Cohen-Chang and Will Schuester as leads. This song is technically good, it's a little cringe on its own, but very very cringe with the context of the show. Yeah, a very hard-to-watch plot on Schue's side and I want to forget about this so I can think about how amazing this episode is otherwise.
Score: 49/100

669. You Spin Me Round (Like A Record)

Performed by the Warblers, with Skylar as lead. This one is fine. It's meh. It works, but it's nothing special.
Score: 49,1/100

668. Blurred Lines

Performed by Artie Abrams, Bree, Jake Puckerman and Will Schuester. This would be lower if it wasn't for the fact that it's kind of a bop and Artie, Jake and Bree are definitely pulling the weight here. Just like with Toxic, this song is bad because Schue is in it. It makes sense for the students to fight for twerking, but for Schue to fight for it? It's weird.
Score: 49,25/100

667. Come Sail Away

Performed by Kitty Wilde, Madison McCarthy, Mason McCarthy and Spencer Porter. They all sound great, but it's also the least memorable competition performance by both the New Directions and the Warblers ever in the entire series.
Score: 49,33/100

666. The Music Of The Night

Performed by Kurt Hummel. I actually think this scene is hilarious, I just love the Kurtina moment in this, but the song itself is just meh.
Score: 49,5/100

665. I'll Be Home For Christmas

Performed by Rachel Berry. I don't have any comment about this song besides that Lea sounds good and I do not ever listen to this song.
Score: 49,67/100

664. You Learn / You've Got A Friend

Performed by Brittany Pierce, Kurt Hummel, Quinn Fabray, Rachel Berry, Santana Lopez and Tina Cohen-Chang. This pains me because I love both songs, but I'm indifferent to this mash-up. It's giving... barely anything.
Score: 50/100

663. Baby One More Time

Performed by Rachel Berry. Rachel was cute in her Britney Spears outfits and I love the recreation of the music video, but again... Rachel and pop isn't always a great match.
Score: 50,25/100

662. An Innocent Man

Performed by Ryder Lynn. Like with Your Song in season 4, I always skip this song whenever I've re-watched the episode. He sounds great, but I just don't care for this performance or scene or storyline at all.
Score: 50,33/100

661. Who Are You Now

Performed by Rachel Berry and Sue Sylvester. Zzzzzz. But also simultaneously crying because of the Finn flashbacks.
Score: 50,4/100

660. NYC

Performed by Sue Sylvester and Will Schuester. Glee was really out here giving Schue and Sue the most random duets.
Score: 50,67/100

659. The Rose

Performed by Rachel Berry. She really chose this for an audition?
Score: 51/100

658. Sing (Season 6)

Performed by the Warblers, with Blaine Anderson and Skylar. This song is just fine, I was just not bothered with the Warblers, especially in season 6.
Score: 51,5/100

657. Don't Stop Believin' (Rachel solo version)

Performed by Rachel Berry. It was cute for the nostalgic purposes, but this is by far the least interesting version of Don't Stop Believin' that was done on the show.
Score: 52/100

656. Our Day Will Come

Performed by Blaine Anderson, Brittany Pierce, Kurt Hummel and Santana Lopez. This was always a weird song choice for me, because it just doesn't make sense for four young adults in their early 20s to pick this song to sing together at the biggest day of their lives? This song aged them like 20 years.
Score: 52,33/100

655. Friday I'm In Love

Performed by Spencer Porter. Being in love with Finneas? Relatable. Besides that, it's kind of a bland song for him. Or he makes the song sound bland. I can't tell whether he's actually a good singer or not, but the songs that were given to him did not showcase his vocals.
Score: 52,5/100

654. Thousand Miles

Performed by Rachel Berry and Sam Evans. It's fine. It's just fine.
Score: 52,6/100

653. All You Need Is Love

Performed by Blaine Anderson. I think I'm just a hater of this storyline because there was absolutely no reason for Blaine to be proposing at this time or in this stage of their relationship. Just absolutely none.
Score: 52,75/100
That's it for part 3! Next part will be the last part that feature songs in the meh tier, and then we can FINALLY move into the songs that I think are good! Yay!!

Hi friends! I've made the slightly unhinged decision of sharing my ranking of all (well, close to all) the songs that were featured on Glee. In part 1, I revealed my bottom 20, so this will continue from there!
4 years ago, I also hosted a very extensive ranking where the sub got to participate in ranking the entire Glee soundtrack, and you can see the results here! Let me know if you guys want a redo of this, and I'll find a less consuming way to make this happen, because that ish was HARD.
If you coincidentally also have ranked all of the Glee songs, you are more than welcome to join and reveal your rankings as well!! Or share your opinions, everything is welcome :)
We are still in the 'meh' tier, which consists of songs that I just find boring or forgettable or weird. I can already reveal that there are 77 songs in this tier, and I only revealed 5 of them in my last post, so we're going to be here a while 😅

MEH TIER

702. The Trolley Song

Performed by Doris and Sue Sylvester. I have never enjoyed a Doris and Sue duet, and unfortunately this one is even more forgettable than their first one. Their voices go well together, though.
Score: 40/100

701. I Wanna Sex You Up

Performed by Finn Hudson, Ken Tanaka, Noah Puckerman, Sandy Ryerson and Will Schuester. The whole Acafellas thing was alright and then they did this... Like, why would any of these grown men/teachers think that bringing two 15-year old boys on stage to perform "I Wanna Sex You Up" to a PARENTS CONFERENCE was a good idea? And why did they even choose this song? I have so many questions. And I'm concerned.
Score: 40,25/100

700. This Time

Performed by Rachel Berry. Boring. She sounds alright, though. Does anyone actually ever think about this song?
Score: 40,33/100

699. Live While We're Young

Performed by the Warblers, with Sebastian Smythe as lead. I've already complained about how Glee gave Sebastian songs that he just could not pull off, and this is just another one of them. The saving grace of this is that it's a fun song.
Score: 41,50/100

698. You Are Woman, I Am Man

Performed by Paolo and Rachel Berry. I know that they needed at least one scene where we saw Rachel rehearse Funny Girl, and her fooling everyone thinking that she cut her hair when she was wearing a wig was kind of an iconic move. But the song itself is a snooze and I've seen this scene several times and I usually end up skipping it or I forget the song immediately after hearing it.
Score: 41,67/100

697. A Little Less Conversation

Performed by Will Schuester. I mean, this is bad and cringy on purpose, so it does its job. It just kind of doesn't make sense to me because the episode starts with him doing La Cucaracha and clearly having this epiphany that he's doing a terrible job, so even after giving the glee club the assignment of doing songs in Spanish and everyone doing a pretty good, inoffensive job, he ends the episode doing this? It makes absolutely no sense, and despite Schue's many flaws, I don't think he's supposed to be this dense??? Context aside, I don't hate the song though, so this is the case where the context makes the song worse than it is by itself.
Score: 42/100

696. Ohio

Performed by Doris and Sue Sylvester. And there's the other Sylvester mother-daughter duet. This one is equally as boring as the other one, to be honest, but at least it has somewhat of a memorable chorus. But this whole plot kind of ruined what was otherwise the perfect Glee episode.
Score: 42,1/100

695. O Christmas Tree

Performed by Will Schuester. Honestly, knowing what a great singer and performer Matthew Morrison is, it's frustrating how many dull songs they gave him. Or songs that didn't do him any favors.
Score: 42,25/100

694. Danny's Song

Performed by Emma Pillsbury and Will Schuester. This one is cute, but like, just cute in a forgettable way.
Score: 42,67/100

693. Piece of My Heart

Performed by Blaine Anderson and June Dolloway. I mentioned this in my first post, but this storyline with June and Blaine was so boring, this whole episode was just hard to get through because it was so wildly unexciting and it also affects how I feel about the songs. They sounded okay. Did not do the original justice, though.
Score: 42,75/100

692. Le Freak

Performed by New Directions. It's a cute little bop, but it's also just all of them singing the melody in unison, so it has essentially nothing going for it.
Score: 43/100

691. Your Song

Performed by Ryder Lynn. I always skip this scene whenever I've watched this episode because it just makes me cringe so bad. He sounds fine, but I just don't ever really want to be reminded of this scene.
Score: 43,25/100

690. Break Free

Performed by Beiste, Myron Muskovitz, Rachel Berry, Sam Evans, Sue Sylvester and Will Schuester. I don't even remember why these people in particular are doing a song together, and an Ariana Grande and Zedd song at that, but that's just the goofiness of season 6, I guess. I just find it funny that they gave a EDM pop song to the people on the show who cannot pull it off.
Score: 43,50/100

689. Daydream Believer

Performed by Blaine Anderson and Kurt Hummel. I honestly don't think I've ever not skipped this scene or song whenever I've watched the series finale. The Klaine fatigue by the end of season 6 was so real, and them just getting a random song in the fast forward section was the last straw for me. Those 3 minutes could've easily been used to highlight some of the other characters' lives. It's a sweet song, which is why it's not like... in the trash tier because context wise, it definitely belongs there.
Score: 43,75/100

688. Candles

Performed by Blaine Anderson and Kurt Hummel. I honestly really go back and forth with this song, because when it first aired, I definitely thought it was horrible. Then, at some point, I found it just alright and not as bad as I originally thought it was. Then some time passed and then I found it just as bad as I thought as first. I think the general consensus was that it did not do Kurt justice at all and yeah, there was no way they had a chance at winning Sectionals with this song.
Score: 44/100

687. Teach Your Children

Performed by Will Schuester. Will Schuester try not to choose a boring ass song when trying to be sentimental challenge. He obviously cannot do it.
Score: 44,67/100

686. Uptown Girl

Performed by the Warblers, with Nick, Sebastian Smythe and Thad as leads. This is probably controversial, because people love the Warblers for some reason. I think this is just okay, they sound okay, there's nothing special about this song. I wouldn't be that impressed if I saw them perform this.
Score: 44,75/100

685. Home (Season 6)

Performed by S6 New Directions + New Directions alumni. I despise this song (the original, not the Glee version) with a burning passion, and Glee only did it just a little better. It's a great song for the context and has a lot of sentimental value, but it only makes up a little for what is otherwise a terrible song.
Score: 45/100

684. You're The Top

Performed by Leroy and Hiram Berry. This one has always confused me, because they clearly recorded a version of this song, but ended up doing something completely different for the actual scene, and it confused me because the recorded version sounds nothing like the very, very short clip they used in the episode. The recorded version doesn't even sound like them? So minus points for confusion.
Score: 45,33/100

683. Not The End

Performed by Finn Hudson. A solo that was only released as a studio version, but never made it onto the show. There is a chance, depending on context, where I could've liked this song better if it was on the show, because it just pains me to put a Finn song this low, but it's a very weird choice for Finn as it's a very dull, mid-tempo contemporary pop song that I don't see Finn ever considering.
Score: 45,67/100
That's it for today - tune in for part 3!

I'm aware I may be verbally destroyed for this, and if that happens, I'll deserve it, because it means my arguments are weak enough to be destroyed. This isn't made with any hate to fanfiction writers, I am one myself, and I've had a lack of comments for a variety of reasons. As I mentioned in the title: Sometimes a lack of comments is due to your writing quality or something else about your fic you can easily change. Other times, there really are other factors at play. I myself have felt the sting of putting my all into a fanfic, editing and scheduling chapters the best I could, researching lengths and times, only for it to flop miraculously. I barely got any comments.
I spent ages mulling over what I'd done wrong. In hindsight, it was actually wasn't all too bad, I'd just gotten unlucky and written for a ship that was declining. After I'd gotten completely demotivated from the radio silence and given up - posting the final chapter I had prewritten with a quick note that I wouldn't be updating because I felt I needed to rethink the fic, I even received comments from readers telling me they'd really enjoyed it but understood my hiatus.
I've also had G-rated fics, that passed the metrics that one would expect from a "successful" fanfic, like a 1:10 kudos-to-hits ratio - closer to 1:5 for the ones I'm referring to here, and yet, not a single comment. Upon reading more and more fanfics, I'd realized it had nothing to do with the quality of my work, and was simply due to the fact that genfics didn't get that many comments. By the way, I did comment on all of the ones I liked, after all, I'd like to be the change I wish to see.
I'm saying this to clarify that, yes, I've experienced what it's like to have fanfics that are unpopular for reasons completely out of your control. But I've also had poorly-received fanfics that, frankly, were absolutely terrible writing-wise, or just doomed to fail from the start in some manner or another.Obviously, you don't have to constantly fear your writing being bad, and I'm not some writing professor or highly-acclaimed critic. I'm merely a stranger making the offer that - if you are a person who's currently demotivated about a lack of engagement - you can consider these things and see if they affect your fic.
​
Writing/Quality Related:
​

• Are there major grammar or spelling errors that obscure your fanfic's clarity?

​

• Is there proper formatting - paragraph-breaks, new paragraphs whenever a speaker is being changed, and paragraphs that aren't so long they're hard to focus on? Indentation isn't really that important in fanfiction, though.

​

• Are your central characters incredibly out of character? This may seem like an inane thing to ask, but I'm not referring to mild OOC. I'm specifically referring to severely out-of-character dialogue and behavior that can usually be spotted with ease if you wait a day or two and reread your fic with fresh eyes.

​

• Are you heavily overusing emphasis tags? I did this quite a bit in my earlier fics without even realizing how odd it looked. As an example - "Why would you do that?" she asked." - In general, though, if you're writing, I'd recommend sticking to italics, because it's not that much extra work to refrain from bolding or underlining, and many people tend to dislike those methods. Edit: This is more genre-specific, though. For examplez formatting rules are definitely different for manga fanfictions than for fanfictions of Moby Dick. Just- please avoid doing what my past self did and making formatting rules so confusing you'd need a key to decipher what was happening.

​

• Are you overusing ellipses (...) or stutters? Although ellipses are a lovely way to show trailing off, and stuttering can also convey embarrassment, overdoing it will likely come off as ingratiating. ("I-I, e-er, a-a-a-a-m s-so h-happy to meet y-you!" or "I... uh... I don't... think I'd like that..."

​

• Are you using an excessive amount of terms in a different language? Especially if you're writing in an anime, manga, or Japanese game's fandom. Although honorifics and Japanese nicknames can be helpful in conveying relationships between characters in a way that you simply can't do in English, if you're at the point where you need a translation key just for your high use of foreign words, you would likely benefit from cutting down on the foreign words.

​

• Mid-fic author's notes. They ruin the immersion, and in excess, can turn readers off. I say this as someone who once used them. By Mid-fic author's notes, I'm referring to something like this: "I'm breaking up with with you!" (A/N - Goddd my heartt why did he do it AGH) or "L-Leave me Alone." he said. "Please." (Poor bbg just wants a hug aghh)

​

• Meat of the story. Namely - how many parts of your story will elicit at least some form of emotional reaction? This can be anything - anger, fear, dread, butterflies, glee, just something. Tooth-rotting fluff makes people squeal. Angst breaks their hearts. Smut gets them hot and bothered, and crack makes them laugh 'til they can't breathe. Something, just something, no matter what. Otherwise, they likely won't be that interested.

​
Non-Quality Issues That You Can Fix Easily:
​

• Update times. I'm not talking about updating faster, just the opposite. If you're someone that posts a chapter a day, even if you're literally better than Shakespeare, you'll still struggle more in the realm of engagement. Why? Because people will struggle to keep up. I've been on both ends of this, and as a reader, I've tried to leave long and analytic comments on fics only to give up because there were updates every day and even I - with my ridiculous amount of free-time - couldn't keep up. Posting once a week - especially if your chapters are on the longer end, can seriously help you get more readers, and in-turn, more engagement.

​

• Staggering chapters. If you're posting every single chapter of a longfic at once, you're not going to get much engagement even if it's absolutely amazing. You'll only get one chance on the so-called "front-page" of ao3 or the "latest" section on Tumblr, or whatnot, and because you already have such little engagement, people will likely assume it's bad.

​

• The summary - If you just put "I suck at summaries", many people likely aren't going to read your fanfic. If your summary is filled with SPAG errors, people likely won't read your fic. If you put a DNI in the summary, or "ew this isnt incest" - which is something you likely don't need to specify at all, or anything of the like, people will likely be turned off.

​

• Posting incomplete/placeholder chapters or fics - I'm specifically referring to placeholders, not longfics that aren't prewritten. Obviously most people aren't going to completely prewrite a longfic. I don't prewrite my longfics. But posting the placeholders will likely just turn people off of your work because they'll think it's not an actual fic again. That, and by the time you finish and post your fic, since you're using the same placeholder, you'll either get no time on the "front page" where people can see, or you'll have to change the date, which most people find tacky. Additionally, this violates ao3 guidelines, so be wary of that.

​

• Excessively-Cluttered Tags. A few joke tags are usually hilarious and just make me love a fic even more - and yes, I do comment on the fics I like, and I do try to make them high-effort, analytical ones - but if they're most of the tags? You're unnecessarily cluttering the tags and many people will be turned off.

​

• Guilt-tripping or Hostage author's notes. They can make people even less likely than they were before to comment. By "guilt-tripping", I'm not referring to "Comments fuel me, please comment!" "Commenting really helps me stay motivated, please comment if you enjoyed the fic <3", "The lack of engagement's really been demotivating", "I'm going to hiatus this fic, the silence has really been demotivating :(", or the like. I'm referring to "You guys are so ungrateful is a 5-second comment that hard?" or "No new chapter until X comments!" These notes will likely turn off people who were going to comment either way.

​

• The Way You Treat Commenters. If you're picky about the comments you receive, not accepting emojis, getting upset if someone asks questions about the fic, getting upset by "I'd love to see more of this!", or the like, people will give you less comments. Why? Because they're afraid of stepping on a landmine

​
Extra Things That Can Help You Get More Comments
​

• Making fandom friends or just being active in the fandom. If you're not a shy person when it comes to online interaction, I highly recommend doing this. Having fandom friends is awesome, you get someone to ramble to, to talk to about fandom stuff in general, to trade fic ideas and support with, and you guys can comment on each other's fics!

​

• Commenting on other fics - On top of being a way to be the change you wish to see, many writers may comment back on your fics, or they might notice your fics because they checked your profile! I'm actually speaking from both sides here, because I've checked out someone's profile because they commented on my fics before, and I found myself liking - and subsequently commenting on - what they wrote. I've also received comments from writers because I commented on their fics. I will note, please don't comment expecting reciprocation. I'm just saying that you should be the change you wish to see, and comment on what you like. And you might even make some friends or get some comments!

​

• Reply to comments. Obviously, many people don't have the energy, but this can be a great way to encourage conversation and show you appreciate comments if you're up to it!

​

• Reddit - This subreddit has many comment exchanges, but on top of that, you can even start threads about fanfiction in the main subreddit for your fandom! It's actually a great experience, and you can meet many of the authors you've seen on other sites.

​

• Accepting critque - If you're in the right headspace, accepting constructive criticism - not hate, and it's usually fairly easy to tell the difference with a few outside opinions - can really help you both improve and get more people to take your suggestions seriously. i myself have received concrit, and though it stung a bit at first, it really did help me write better in the long run and improve my fic.

Regardless, that's all from me, and please don't take this as a personal attack or attempt to degrade writers! Like I've said, I myself am a writer, and I know all too well what it feels like to get terrible engagement for factors bot in and out of your control! This is just my take for anyone who'd like to look into ways to get more engagement and find more community.
Also, I'm well-aware I'm not an acclaimed expert, so please feel-free to correct me, or even just utterly destroy this, after all, considering what I just said about concrit it'd be pretty hypocritical of me not to accept it. By the way, I'm going to mention this at the end, I did indeed put effort into writing this as well as I could, so if you rip my prose to shreds at least it'll help me see I'm terrible?
And yes, I did make a vent post about my lack of comments before, but I actually took it down because I realized I got quite a few comments, and I was honestly just reading so many negative posts about dead comment sections that I got swept up, and failed to appreciate the support I was getting! So, one final note, maybe you're like me. Maybe you are getting support and comments, even if you may not realize it because you're caught up comparing fics.

i know i just posted about klaine recently but i keep thinking about them. it’s so interesting to me how the discussion on klaine (and really most ships besides brittana from what i see..?) is so black and white. they’re either toxic or they’re not. and it’s so frustrating because i want to have a Real conversation about it.
in my opinion, a majority of their toxicity is due to bad writing and glee going from satire to taking itself way too seriously. i think that they should have ended up together but taken a longer amount of time to grow and learn their lives together before deciding to get married and have children.
they were way too young for everything that happened. it was kind of absurd how quickly things were pushed on them? and i know that’s just Glee writing but God it got so so bad that when it improved again in s6 it felt too late.

Hey guys! Finally fnished the season 3 guide, sorry it took a little longer! There was pretty much no episodes that were unimportant/skippable here, and most of the songs were amazing imo. Remember that all the songs I listed here are just my opinion, if you disagree, that's totally fine :)
Glee Guide

1. The Purple Piano Project - Important

Summary:

• For some of the New Directions members (Mike, Puck, Finn, Rachel, Quinn, Santana, Brittany, and Kurt) it’s senior year
• Quinn and Lauren have left the club so ND is looking for new recruits
• Will comes up with a plan after a rich businessman, Al Motta, invests in the school arts program and gifts several old, purple pianos to the club to scatter around the school
• Kurt and Rachel learn that Juilliard does not offer a musical theater program and search for a new school to apply to
• Quinn reveals a very big new change
• Finn does not know what to do with his future
  • Songs to skip: None
  • Best song: It’s Not Unusual, Big Spender

2. I Am Unicorn - Entertaining
Summary:

• This year’s school musicals is West Side Story
• Some members begin preparing for auditions with specific roles in mind
• Rachel wants to be Maria while both Kurt and Blaine want Tony
• Brittany suggest Kurt uses his pride of being gay as a presidential campaign tactic, but he isn’t so sure
• Will and Mike create a weekly “Booty Camp” to help certain members dance better
• Shelby returns to McKinley
• Shelby and Puck confront Quinn, and also bring Beth into things
  • Songs to skip: None
  • Best song: Something’s Coming

3. Asian F - Funny and more Mike recognition :)
Summary:

• When Mike receives an “Asian F”, his father makes him leave glee club and break up with Tina
• His father is furious when he reveals he will continue to be in the musical
• Mercedes rethinks her commitment to glee club after getting sick of Mr Schuester’s favoritism to Rachel
• Presidency campaign heats up between Brittany and Kurt
• Emma faces her OCD problems with Will
• Shelby starts a new, all-girls glee club at McKinley
  • Songs to skip: they’re all so good
  • Best song: Fix You or Run the World

4. Pot O’Gold - Important
Summary:

• A new student, Irish exchange Rory, is staying at Brittany’s home. He clearly has a crush on her
• Quinn returns to ND but has plans involving Beth and asks for Puck’s help
• Shelby and Puck begin…something
• Finn convinces Rory to join ND
• New Directions is in shock when Mercedes and two other ND members leave to join Shelby’s group, the Troubletones
  • Songs to skip: Bein’ Green
  • Best songs: Candyman, Take Care of Yourself

5. The First Time - Grant Gustinnnn
Summary:

• McKinley puts on West Side Story
• Finchel and Klaine have their first encounters
• A new Warblers leader is introduced
  • Songs to skip: Tonight
  • Best songs: America, Uptown Girl

6. Mash Off - Important
Summary:

• The third annual mashup competition has arrived
• With Brittany, Santana, and Mercedes in the Troubletones, ND is not doing well
• Puck is hot for Shelby and reveals Quinn’s true intentions to her
• Burt and Sue’s campaign gets more intense after it gets serious between the two glee clubs
• Shelby and Will agree to hold a mashup competition between ND and Troubletones
• Finn and Santana plan a dodgeball game for the clubs
• Santana deals with an awful turn of events
  • Songs to skip: None
  • Best songs: Rumour Has It/Someone Like You, I Can’t Go For That/You Make My Dreams

7. I Kissed a Girl - Important
Summary:

• Santana is facing a suspension, but Finn steps in
• He feels bad for what he did so he makes a joint assignment for Troubletones and ND about Lady Music to show Santana they support her
• The McKinley presidential campaign heats up when voting time arrives
• Shelby and Puck relationship faces a change
  • Songs to skip: Girls Just Wanna Have Fun (please it’s so uncomfortable)
  • Best songs: I Kissed a Girl

8. Hold On To Sixteen - Yay Sam
Summary:

• Finn and Rachel head out to bring Sam back to McKinley
• It is Sectionals for New Directions and Troubletones
• Quinn plans to get Shelby fired after finding out Puck’s secret
• After Rachel is suspended, the ND needs another member
• Tina helps Mike’s father reach a decision about his son’s dancing
  • Songs to skip: Red Solo Cup
  • Best song: SurvivoI Will Survive, We Are Young

9. Extraordinary Merry Christmas - filler but some important things
Summary:

• After sectionals, the Troubletones members join ND
• Sue attempts to collect homeless shelter volunteers
• Glee club agrees but is then asked to sing for a PBS Christmas special, with Artie directing, and Sue is disappointed when they decline
• Rory struggles being away from his family for Christmas
• Rachel overwhelms Finn
  • Songs to skip: River, Do They Know It’s Christmas
  • Best Songs: All I Want For Christmas Is You, Let it Snow

10. Yes/No - definitely important
Summary:

• Mercedes and Sam explore their “summer fling”
• Becky wants Artie as her boyfriend
• Emma really wants to get married so Will sets up a proposal with help from ND
• Finn receives shocking news about his father
  • Songs to skip: Wedding Bell Blues, Without You
  • Best songs: Summer Nights, We Found Love

11. Michael - iconic
Summary:

• Mercedes, Santana, and Brittany are upset about not being able to do Michael Jackson songs when they were with the Troubletones, so Will suggests they do it for Regionals
• Blaine tells Sebastian this and ND is shocked at his betrayal
• After the two groups fight, Blaine is seriously injured
• We are blessed with one of the best performances of Glee history
• Quinn receives great news and is able to leave her past behind
  • Songs to skip: Human Nature
  • Best songs: Smooth Criminal, Never Can Say Goodbye, Bad

12. The Spanish Teacher - Ricky??
Summary:

• Figgins reveals there is a spot open for tenure, making Sue and Will compete
• Santana questions Will’s ability to teach Spanish, and after Sue’s coaching abilities are also questioned, Coach Roz Washington steps in to take her job
• Will goes to Spanish night school and meets David Martinez (Ricky Martin) and brings him to glee club
• Sam and Mercedes seek Emma’s guidance
• Santana challenges Will and David
  • Songs to skip: La Cucaracha (I’m begging you), A Little Less Conversation
  • Best songs: La Isla Bonita, Bamboleo/Hero

13. Heart - very very funny
Summary:

• Will declares that ND needs money for costumes and hair products, but Sugar offers to pay
• She also informs the club that she rented out Breadstix for Valentine’s Day and is throwing a party
• Artie and Rory both want to take Sugar as their date
• Hiram and LeRoy Berry (Rachel’s dads) find out about Finn and Rachel’s engagement
• The truth about Mercedes and Sam is revealed during God Squad
• God Squad (Sam, Mercedes, Quinn, and new student Joe) are asked to sing candy grams to students, but when Santana asks for one for Brittany, things get confusing
  • Songs to skip: None
  • Best songs: Stereo Hearts, Cherish/Cherish

14. On My Way - still haven’t recovered
Summary:

• Sebastian blackmails Rachel with a photoshopped picture of Finn unless she drops out of regionals
• Sue asks for Quinn’s advice on her pregnancy
• Dave Karofsky faces bullying over a rumor of him being gay, causing things to get very serious
• Finn and Rachel plan their wedding for right after regionals
• When Sebastian hears about Karofsky, he quits his plan to blackmail Rachel
• Quinn gets the short end of the truck I mean stick
  • Songs to skip: She Walks in Beauty
  • Best songs: All of them?? Cough Syrup, Stronger, Glad You Came

15. Big Brother - matt bomer!!
Summary:

• Blaine’s big brother, famous actor Cooper (Matt Bomer) comes to visit
• Artie and Quinn become close friends after her accident
• Sue is told that if she doesn’t win this Cheerios championship, Coach Roz will take over
• Finn and Rachel face problems when they want different things after graduation
  • Songs to skip: Hungry Like the Wolf/Rio
  • Best songs: I’m Still Standing, Up Up Up, Somebody That I Used to Know

16. Saturday Night Glee-ver - filler but entertaining
Summary:

• Blaine, Mike, and Brittany perform a disco song and Will asks what inspired it. They say that this year’s Nationals theme is vintage
• ND is certain that disco sucks but Mr Schuester wants to prove them wrong
• Sue installs a dance floor and glee club has a dance-off
• Kurt and Mercedes pretend to help Unique, VA lead singer who Sue wants to manipulate
• Finn, Santana and Mercedes reveal their post-grad dreams
  • Songs to skip: up to you, if you don’t like disco you won’t like this
  • Best song: Stayin’ Alive

17. Dance With Somebody - solid episode
Summary:

• Rachel, Mercedes, Santana and Kurt pay tribute to Whitney Houston
• Blaine accuses Kurt of cheating
• Santana and Rachel grow closer
• Joe helps Quinn with physical therapy
  • Songs to skip: It’s Not Right But It’s Okay (great song but skip purely for the transition into it)
  • Best songs: I Wanna Dance With Somebody, Saving All My Love For You

18. Choke - very important
Summary:

• Kurt and Rachel prepare for their NYADA auditions
• Kurt decides to take a risk with his audition song but Rachel goes with her usual song, but it goes wrong
• Some of the ND girls make fun of Coach Beiste’s black eye and domestic violence, which Sue and Roz overhear and are very unhappy about
• When Roz and Sue find out the truth about Coach Beiste, they help her
• ND boys help Puck pass a test to graduate
• No Quinn because Dianna had an audition :(
  • Songs to skip: The Rain in Spain
  • Best songs: Shake it Out, Cell Block Tango

19. Prom-asaurus - good episode
Summary:

• Rachel is certain her Broadway dreams are crushed after choking her audition
• Finn runs with Quinn for prom king and queen, making Rachel even more devastated
• Brittany uses prom to make her class president comeback
• ND is asked to perform at prom
• Puck, Rachel, Becky, Blaine and Kurt attend an anti-prom party instead of prom
• Quinn reveals a new change in her disability, but Finn is furious
• Quinn and Santana try to make a positive difference as they count votes together
  • Songs to skip: None
  • Best songs: Love You Like a Love Song, Take My Breath Away, What Makes You Beautiful

20. Props - Very iconic and funny
Summary:

• Focuses on Tina and how she is often overlooked
• Rachel’s NYADA future is uncertain
• Puck and Beiste think about their futures
• Tina injures her head and hallucinates about the club
  • Songs to skip: None
  • Best songs: What a Feeling, Mean

21. Nationals - very very important
Summary:

• Stress is high as Nationals approaches
• Puck tries to cram for his test, Mercedes gets sick, Quinn struggles with dancing, Rachel doesn’t know what to do, and Will doubts the last three years
• Competition is fierce this year against Vocal Adrenaline
  • Songs to skip: Starships
  • Best songs: Paradise by the Dashboard Light, Edge of Glory, Tongue Tied

22. Goodbye
Summary:

• As the year comes to an end, the group reflects on their memories
• They spend their final days of the year together, and for some, their last at McKinley
• The seniors review their years ahead of graduation
• Will makes a new assignment, “Goodbye”
• Finn, Kurt and Rachel face their futures
  • Songs to skip: Forever Young
  • Best songs: You Get What You Give, Glory Days

Season 3!! Probably my favorite season :)

hey guys, i used to be really into fanfiction back in high school but i stopped reading it 10-11 years ago and would like to find better ways to feed my phone addiction that don't involve endless scrolling on social media apps & reddit. glee was always my favorite fandom and is still one of the only ones i can see myself actually enjoying fanfiction from.
the main ship I'm looking for is Puckleberry. I can probably fuck with some Klaine but it would have to be ignoring all the canon bullshit the writers put them through post-mid-s3, bc i stopped shipping them when i believe they became toxic toward each other. otherwise i would probably give any other pairing/crackship a chance if it's really well-written with an interesting story to it. i'm also open to non-ship related fics that revolve around the whole cast if that's even a thing that exists lol.
i do have some conditions:

• no AU or fics that take place in the past or future timeline of the show (i know... AU is super popular in this fandom and is the main reason i'm asking for recs instead of just looking myself)
• long fics that are either complete or currently being updated regularly
• must be decently well written
• no Fuinn, Quick, Blaine/karofsky, or Jarley. as far as crackships go I don't care how far fetched it would be in canon as long as the fic makes it seem believable

any website is fine. TIA!!
edit to add my all time favorite ship is Jake/Ryder probably should have mentioned it earlier but i figure I've read every fic of them across the internet and half of them suck anyway, lmao, but if ur also a jyder shipper I'll take some recs!

Looking for a multichapter Glee fanfiction that was posted on fanfiction.net.
Something about Rachel being very close to Puck and his family and she leaves to go to New York without telling anyone. Some woman named Jackie (I think) takes her in and calls Puck and his family and takes her back to OH. Sorry if details are hazy, it's been a while and I really would love to find it

hi! first time posting as i just finished watching glee for the first time. idk why i didn't watch it sooner, it would have been right up my alley since I did choir and theatre in middle/high school but oh well!
ANYWAYS I actually really loved the newbies who were introduced in season 6 and wish we could have seen more of them. does anyone have recs of fics that expand on their character and stories? i don't have any particular ship preferences for them but the queerer the better :)
also any season 6 fanfics in general (ofc i love klaine and brittana) are welcome since it was such a short season and i would love to see what people have come up with! i use ao3 but im open to other platforms.
thanks in advance!

Hi! I am still looking to fill the omegle void so, I am searching for some rp(s?). Must be 18+, literate. I'm okay with both texting based rps or paragraphs, or alternating between them! Here are my fandoms and ships - though I could be open to other ships from these fandoms, so lmk if yours isn't on the list! No OCs/self-inserts please.
italics indicate an extra desperate want for them.

• Succession (romangerri, kenstew, tomgreg, also okay with platonic/family writing)
• Stranger Things (hellcheer, lumax, byler, stancy, billy and anybody, gareth and...somebody? lol)
• Righteous Gemstones (keefe/kelvin)
• Ted Lasso (any mixture of roy, jamie, keeley or all three, tedtrent, tedbecca, sambecca)
• Young Royals (wilmon)
• Heartstopper (narlie)
• RWRB (firstprince)
• Glee (klaine, blam, puckleberry, anything with sam)
• Daisy Jones and the Six (daisy/billy, graham/karen)
• The Walking Dead (lmk your preferred ship if interested)

Please comment if interested and what you're interested in and we'll go from there!

Exactly what the title says. I stumbled onto fanfictionnet and ao3 last night for the first time and found a long list of Glee stories. There were over 100 thousand. I scrolled through for a while and skimmed through a few of the shorter stories and it was so interesting to explore. I knew fanfiction existed obviously, but I didn't realise there was a library this large. It was amazing (apart from the utterly disgusting, borderline written by a sexual predator-esque stories, I'm sure you know what I'm talking about). But anyways, these were some questions I had that I was hoping others could answer for me:

1. Why is there so much about the 3 couples that we already saw so much of in the show (Finn & Rachel; Kurt & Blaine; Santana & Brittany)? When shows make spinoffs, normally ppl like to see them about people we've seen less of in the original show. Me personally, I would prefer to read a story that dives deeper into Tina and Mike or Jake and Marley, but there wasn't that much about them so I guess people feel differently than me?
2. Did I miss something with Quinn & Rachel within this fanbase? I watched this show initially when it first aired, and I'll be honest, I hated Quinn. Her treatment of Rachel was a big reason why, and no matter how annoying Rachel was, she didn't deserve it - especially before Quinn even had joined the club and met her, and especially after the pregnancy when Rachel did so much to help her, and Quinn returned to just being cold towards her. Also, aren't they both straight? So why are there so many people shipping them together?
3. Kinda related to the point above, and I pray this doesn't come across homophobic (if it does, I sincerely apologise, it isn't intended to be), but when people create their own couples that don't appear on the show, why are they all gay/lesbian? Quinn & Rachel is one example, but there was also a lot of Kurt & Puck and even Kurt & Karofsky (the last one I find all kinds of fucked up given their history - I found it bad enough when Blaine was dating him, but Kurt???). On ao3, when you search for the most popular glee pairings on the site, 8/10 of them are gay/lesbian. Is this because the show's audience is predominantly from the 2slgbtqia+ community? I am very out of touch with this show's fanbase as I originally watched it years ago, and only rediscovered it recently
4. Why do people hate the creation of original characters so much? It seems like especially on fanfictionnet, there's an exorbitant amount of hate on stories with original characters, with many people saying there's too much of an original character and not enough of the real cast. Like if you see that the main character is an original character and knowingly choose to read the story, what's the problem then? Hell, I even saw stories starring the S4 cast (my favourite couple is Jake and Marley so I read a few of these) that were complaining that they were excluding the original characters. There's like 50 characters and only so many words people!
5. People REALLY hate Rachel and Finn eh? Maybe it's just the stories I saw, but it felt like unless Rachel and Finn were the main characters, they were almost always directly antagonists. I didn't love either of them, but I never actively felt they were villains. It feels like on these sites, some characters were idealized with their flaws forgotten, while others were crucified for EVERYTHING
6. The adults don't get much attention in these stories eh? I know obviously it's easier to write about the teenagers as there's more to write about and they're (probably) closer in age to the writers than middle-aged Sue, but icl I'd love to read a "The Origins of Sue Sylvester" story.
7. Is it taboo in these stories when making up couples, to pair Santana with a male character or Kurt with a female character? Again, I swear not homophobic, just very uninformed in this field. There's obviously a lot of traffic going the opposite way (pairing straight characters like Rachel and Quinn together), but none going the other way. I remember when I first watched the show as a teen, Santana became lauded as kind of a cultural icon for teens in the 2slgbtqia+ community. Is that why? Is it very offensive or something to make these kinds of pairings for that reason? Is it against the websites' terms of service, because it doesn't appear like there have been many of these story pairings written in years (really since before Santana really was shown to be lesbian in the show)?
8. What are the general demographics of both readers and writers? Age? Gender? Sexuality?
9. Is Glee fanfiction still a thing? It appeared like most of the stories published were while the show was still airing, so do many people still read/write?

Anyways, these are all of my questions. Please, if one of the more experienced fans of fanfiction could answer them. I know there are a lot of them, so feel free to answer some and not others.

So, I’m autistic (AuDHD, but I digress). And Glee is my special interest. I mean, publicly, my special interests are music and language - but in reality, Glee - specifically Klaine - is my true special interest. And it’s kind of hard to manage.
I’m a professional, a manager, an adult soon to be buying a house and I just… have these two guys living in my head rent-free CONSTANTLY. I work in a library and every time I look at someone and tell them to read The Land of Stories, I just have this iceberg of ‘Colfer Colfer Colfer’ going on in my head and I have to pretend like I’m NOT a lunatic??
I don’t really know why I’m posting this, or what I’m looking for. Commonality, perhaps? Is anyone else in my shoes? Because although common rhetoric in life is ‘there are no truly unique experiences’ I do suspect that mine is unique.
Glee originally aired when I was in high school, and I just know it’ll be with me until the day I die.
I couldn’t sleep all night after 4x04 aired. I was in TEARS. INCONSOLABLE.
Don’t even get me started on Season 6. We don’t talk about her (but we think about her CONSTANTLY. THAT FRICKEN ELEVATOR WITH A BATHROOM. THANK GOODNESS FOR CRAIG???).
I’ve posted on here before about my AuDHD!Blaine headcanon, which I stand by. It keeps me going sometimes, to know that there’s a character out there that might just get what it’s like to have a brain like mine.
Please, just someone… tell me I’m not alone in my levels of crazy.
Or at the very least, please share your favourite Klaine gifs with me.

Before I deleted Twitter, I followed someone there who was a big glee fan. I never got involved in the Glee fandom because it was a show I watched and enjoyed but not a show I adored, however this person was a big account in another fandom I'm apart of, so I followed them. They posted a quote tweet responding to the promt "Trigger an entire fanbase with this image" (the image was of a greater than sign, like the Maths symbol). The quote tweet was saying Klaine is a better ship than Brittana. In response, the fandom got TRIGGERED, WHICH WAS THE INTENTION OF THE POST. They started attacking this person, claiming they have a fetish for gay men. I know it isn't fair to judge a fandom based on their twitter branch, but Jesus, just chill out.
Edit: In case anyone asks my nephew showed me on his Twitter. I deleted it because it had negative affects on my mental health.

Thanks to u/SpacePaladin15 for allowing fanfiction.
Arxur Integration Program is a series of one-shots and shorts around the idea of the UN testing how arxur might integrate into Earth society. The stories might occasionally have some crossover, but each post will always stand on its own.
This one jumps ahead to a little later in the Program, with the arxur already more accustomed to humanity, and some even having human exchange partners. It's a little bittersweet, but also cozy, and has some laughs and gossip.
The idea for this story came from u/Xerxes250, so you can consider this a collab! Plus special thanks to u/CreditMission for additional suggestions!
​
firstnext
-------------------
Sarah was glad for the heat of the Tanzanian sun. She liked its brightness and its warmth, and found it invigorating. And, as an added bonus, it made the wax easier to work.
“How soft does it need to be?” she asked again, for the several-th time.
Eiret just grumbled unhappily in response.
Sarah’s arxur companion was very much her opposite. He hid under their little shade tent, hunched up in a distinctly un-invigorated ball. But it wasn’t just the brightness and the heat that drove his discomfort, no it was something else. “Won’t matter,” he spat. “No one’s coming.”
“Aw, come on,” Sarah cajoled, looking supremely relaxed in her folding chair just outside of the tent’s shade.
Her bare feet were crossed and propped up on another chair, and her darker skin was bright under the warmth of the sun overhead. But Eiret just thought she smelled of sunscreen. Sunscreen and polishing wax, the latter of which she was still working her hands through a jar of in her lap.
“It’s only been a little bit. I’m sure some people will come by. Just wait ‘til after lunch, you’ll see,” she said.
Eiret grumbled again, but didn’t contest it. Instead, he just went back to lurking in the shade, fixing his apron and fidgeting through all the various jars and tins and glass bottles and brushes that were set up before him on a plastic folding table.
That little collection was once his livelihood -- or at least, all that was left of it. His [salon] in the capital had been his greatest pride, his and Szrin’s. It was a passion that they had both shared, along with many others, and those years had been very good to them.
Together, they’d risen above the poverty of the rest of Wriss, their humble catching the attention of important figure after important figure. Generals, ministers, and bureaucrats alike had all visited their [salon], and all had left satisfied.
That was where the pride lay. Eiret and Szrin were very good at what they did. On Wriss, the wealthy and the important would seek them out, their handiwork being a sign of status and prestige.
But on Earth…
Not even a single visitor.
Not even a single visitor, and he was offering his craft for free! It hurt Eiret’s pride quite grievously, even though he would never admit it. His collection was a fraction of what he’d had back home, and all his [salon] amounted to now was a plastic table and a tent. And he had nothing to do but watch all the other arxur walk by on their way to the cafeteria, barely even sparing them a glance. He felt reduced.
He grumbled again, and sat on one of the stools, trying his level best not to feel too sorry for himself. If only-- if only Szrin hadn’t… if only he--
The tears started to flow, stinging and sniffling as he rubbed them hastily away. But Sarah had noticed -- that infuriatingly sharp human perception -- and she was already on her feet and her hand was already on his shoulder.
“Hey, people will come, don’t worry about it,” she’d started, but Eiret was already shaking his head no.
“I was… I was just thinking about Szrin,” he said, rubbing more tears away. “He-- he always…”
Sarah wrapped her arms around him in as tight a hug as she could give, her frame small against the arxur’s bulk. She squeezed him tight as she was able, and murmured softly in his ear that it was okay.
For a while, he just quietly sobbed. There was a hole in his heart, an emptiness in his life, and all the things he took with him from Wriss only made it worse. Every time he looked at the waxes and glasses, he would remember his partner, his love. How could he not, when Szrin had mixed so many of these himself?
Eiret had hoped that using them again might help bring some closure. It was what Szrin had wanted, after all. He was the one who had always wanted to leave Wriss and come to Earth, not Eiret. He had been so excited he could hardly keep it quiet. He couldn’t help but tell everyone of their plans together, starting anew far away from Betterment, and how much more free they would feel. He couldn’t help himself, and one day, he told the wrong people.
And then he was gone.
And every day since had been worse than the last. Eiret never thought himself one to grieve like this. Arxur didn’t grieve. Arxur didn’t feel emotion like this. And in the first few days after the execution, that would have been true. He’d been dry of tears, then. And he’d been dry of tears selling the [salon], too. He’d been dry of tears finding someone else to smuggle him past UN lines, and he’d been dry of tears packing his bag with the last of what they had made together.
It wasn’t until the Program that the tears had first started to come. It wasn’t until the humans, with their poking and prodding at every little part of him, their therapists whose entire profession seemed to revolve around getting tears out of people who weren’t supposed to have any. And it was Sarah, too, his exchange partner, and her undaunted friendship. That always seemed to draw it out of him the most. Her acceptance of him was unconditional, and she clearly didn’t care that he was defective.
It made it easier. But Eiret suspected that he still had many more tears left to go.
Still, he wrapped his arms around her. She was so much smaller than Szrin, and he couldn’t help but miss his arms, his scent, his voice. He knew that Szrin would have wanted him to move on. He would have wanted him to live out the life away from Betterment that they both had wanted, but it was so much harder without him. Everything was harder without him.
He took a deep, albeit shaky breath. He missed him so much, but he knew he still had to try. So that was what he would do.
“Oh shit,” Sarah said abruptly, her head snapping up. “Hello!” she called out to someone past Eiret’s shoulder.
Eiret hurriedly rubbed away the last of the dampness on his face, and turned around.
“What is this?” the customer asked.
It was an arxur. A dominion veteran, by the looks, and an exceptionally massive one at that! Hulking, muscled, and brutish, a real monster of an arxur, with a whole history of scars and burn marks and poorly-regrown scutes. He was carrying a cardboard box with thin wisps of steam rising up from it -- a prize from the cafeteria. Eiret’s nostrils twitched at the aroma.
“It’s a salon!” Sarah answered excitedly.
‘Salon’ was a strange translation, but Eiret supposed it worked.
“It’s free, if you’re interested!” Sarah continued.
The arxur hesitated.
“You can eat that while we work,” she quickly added.
The man sank deep into thought, as if it were the most important decision of his week. He didn’t seem to mind the awkward silence as everyone waited for him. Eventually, he nodded. “Okay,” he said.
He was directed into a stool, the metal creaking under his weight. They’d really have to get some better stools -- these ones were meant for humans. But that thought was far from Eiret’s mind. Right now, he was just happy to have a customer again.
First came the brushing. Eiret had all sorts of brushes, thin ones, coarse ones, and everything in between. Into the bucket they went, and then, vigorously, scrubbing all across the back and shoulders and neck and tail.
Sarah watched intently, memorizing every detail of the process.
The customer ate intently, ignoring every detail of the process. One after another, pieces of his meal disappeared between his jaws. Pork cutlets, as best the two could tell, seared and lightly breaded for texture, but mostly still raw on the inside.
Most arxur scales didn’t need that much brushing. The thinner ones in all the flexible areas like the front, the insides of the arms, most of the legs, and so on, were all finer in texture and did a good job keeping dirt and dust away. The shed there was finer as well, and would come away with their normal grooming.
It was the thicker scutes and ridges along the spine and down the tail, and across the shoulders and neck and face, that needed all the attention. Their craggly nature meant that dust and dirt would get caught between the edges, and the thickness of them meant that bits of shed were always getting stuck. And it’s particularly hard for an arxur to reach their own back.
It was a laborious process, but eventually Eiret had finished, and the customer (whose name they’d learned was Karkess) was ready for the next step: the base layer.
It was a protective layer of sealing compound, rubbed in between all the scutes. It was meant to slow the shed from coming free, so the polish would last longer. It also served an integral secondary purpose; providing a base scent underneath the polish.
The process of [salon] scents was an art. A symphony designed for the arxur’s most delicate sense, the blending of base tones and overtones, complementing the customer’s natural ones…
And in all arts, there were masters. Szrin had been one of them.
His work was always worth the high price it commanded. Eiret only had a few of his bottles left, and they were his greatest treasure. He picked a bottle and held it, turning it over in his hand and staring down at it. Iszerys wood and sand, a subtle scent -- Szrin had always preferred his base layers understated, like a blank piece of canvas.
He smiled a little, though the tears threatened to return again as he remembered him. He clutched the bottle tight in his hand. It would suit their first customer on Earth perfectly.
Though, the scent was almost entirely lost on Sarah. She’d practically had to stick her nose into the jar to even just barely detect the scent. She’d said it smelled a bit like the beach.
Eiret had made it midway through applying when he saw something that made him smile even wider; A second customer!
This one was a rather lanky but healthy-looking arxur, with eyes that were closer to yellow than they were to red. She’d ambled up with her head craned curiously forward, nares flexing open as she caught the intriguing scents.
“Is this a [salon]?” she asked.
“Yes!” Eiret nearly cried out. “Feel free to sit down and I can get to you next.”
She looked hesitant.
“Free of charge today.”
The second customer smiled, and made her way to an open stool. “I’ve only ever done this twice,” she explained. “Both times I had to save up for a while. Once for when I was promoted to Assistant Sector Minister of Cattle Agriculture in the Korus Nen sector, and once for my Donation,” she said, looking very proud of herself.
Eiret straightened up from his work, nearly done now, and the two exchanged a brief conversation about where she had gone, and if she had ever been to the capital. Karkess, the first customer, stayed quite silent. His head was drooping down, and his eyes were closed.
Sarah had volunteered to get started with the brushing, with the caveat that she “wasn’t an expert.” Lurika (the second customer) didn’t seem to mind, though. She happily relaxed into the scrubbing, seemingly unable to stop a contented hum from coming up through her throat.
Eiret, meanwhile, had finished with the sealing compound, and was prodding at his customer.
His head jerked suddenly upwards with a grunt. “I wasn’t asleep,” he informed everyone.
Eiret ignored that. “Would you like me to cover up your scars?” he asked instead.
The big arxur turned to face him, brow furrowed forward. “Hm?” he grunted.
“I can paint over your scars to match the rest of the scales. It’s just temporary, though. Will only last as long as the polish does.”
Karkess looked rather surprised.
“I am quite skilled at it,” Eiret assured him. “It’s the other half of why we were so successful in the capital. Lots of upper class arxur covering up their… failures.”
Lurika’s head twisted over from where she was sat. “You covered up scars for the elite?” she asked, as if sensing drama.
“Oh, yes. You would be shocked at how many of them obsessed over their image of perfection.” He paused, shaking his head and snorting in amusement. “Heh. I was going to say I wouldn’t tell you who, but… I guess I’m not on Wriss any more. And as my good friend always says… ‘fuck em.’”
Sarah laughed at that, earning a sly little smile from Eiret before he launched into a surprisingly detailed account of all the elite customers whose scars he’d covered. Lurika cooed and trilled with surprise at every important figure she’d recognized, eyes lighting up with increasing glee at every name he’d named.
Sarah scrubbed away as the two reveled in the drama of spilled secrets; none of those names meant anything to her. Presumably, the same was true of Karkess as well, since he’d fallen asleep again.
When the two had finally had their fun, Eiret turned back to Karkess and prodded him awake once more to ask if he’d like the cover-up or not. Karkess seemed to think for a while, before finally nodding.
Eiret quickly set about mixing his pigments and color matching. Where Szrin was a master of scents, Eiret was a master of colors. It was just as delicate an art; he went back and forth, adjusting and adjusting, moving his sample in and out of the shade, changing the angle this way and that way to see how it caught the light. Different swatches of color, luster, and texture, all varied by where on the body he would paint. It took him a while, but when he had finished, he had a ready palette for his customer.
As he worked, Sarah had finished scrubbing Lurika down, and the two were happily mocking the so-called “elites” who had patronized Eiret’s old [salon]. Even halfway across the galaxy, it was the same old story. Look just a little closer, and the veneer of superiority is thin enough to see right through.
“You know, Isif visited my [salon] a few times,” Eiret had noted at one point, not even bothering to turn his head from his work.
Both of their heads snapped over to him.
“Oh? What was he like?” Lurika asked.
“More talkative than you’d expect! And bigger, too. Much bigger than he looks on all the broadcasts.”
“Oooh, what’d he talk about?” Sarah asked, casually using Lurika’s shoulder to prop her elbow against as she leaned in to gossip.
Eiret snorted. “He was mad that he still had to get a reservation at this meal hall in the Craftsman’s Ward, Rakkisaheq. He kept going on about how he was a Chief Hunter and how they should have known that there was a Council that week…”
“So is it like, a fancy place?”
Lurika jumped in before Eiret could answer. “They’re the ones who cater all the feasts for the Grand Office. I mean, I heard.”
Eiret nodded. “They do. But they also host a meal hall for the rest of the season. Isif said he went every time he was in the capital.”
“Did you ever go?” Lurika asked.
“Oh, we were never that successful!” Eiret said, laughing. “It’s over a thousand vouchers a head.”
Lurika hissed in shock, and even Karkess turned around at that. Eiret had to lean back a bit to avoid accidentally painting him.
“I’m guessing that’s a lot,” Sarah said.
“It’s absurd!” Lurika said, her jaw jutting forward for emphasis.
“Yeah, and like you’d mentioned… they serve every feast in the Grand Office.”
Sarah chuckled at the disgusted looks on the pair’s faces. She clicked her tongue and shook her head slowly. “Different world than the rest of us, huh?”
Lurika hummed in agreement, and Karkess grunted and turned back around so Eiret could continue.
It was a lengthy and delicate process, touching up all of Karkess’s disfigurements. The poor man had a litany of violence written out across his scales. The thinner ones that regrew quickly were unblemished, but everywhere that thicker scales grew, like his shoulders and back, all showed a terrible history. Eiret had his work cut out for him. But eventually, he got through it, and handed the man a mirror to judge the results.
Karkess stared for a long while, admiring the new arxur in the mirror. He wasn’t being vain -- no, if anything, he was having a bit of an emotional moment. It was hard not to wonder how long it had been since he’d had seen himself without scars.
After a long while, he returned the mirror with a simple “thank you,” and a slow, deep blink of his eyes. Eiret beamed with pride, wiping his claws clean across his apron before darting back over to his table. He rifled through his collection, resurfacing with a tiny glass bottle, plain and functional with only a simple label in an arxur script.
“Szrin -- my partner -- mixed these,” he said slowly. “Before he… died. I only have a few left, and I was never as good with scents as he was, but… I think this one should suit you quite well.”
He opened the bottle for Karkess to judge, but he recoiled away. “And you’re using it on me??” he said, tail lashing with worry.
Eiret smiled. “My friend, he would be honored for you to wear his work.”
Karkess blinked and leaned back in for a few cautious sniffs. He nodded.
Sarah had already figured out what was about to happen; she was already there with the jar of polishing wax she’d been working earlier. Eiret took some of it, and began mixing in a few drops of the scent. The polishing scents were still extremely subtle, Sarah found, although slightly more apparent than the base layers had been. She tried her best to analyze it.
She couldn’t place the identity, of course, being alien. It was tantalizing in that way, like almost remembering something but knowing that you would never be able to actually recall it. It had a kind of deep, weighty tone that filled the nose, the way that some wood scents do, and it was laced through with something airy and ephemeral, like a citrus but without the sharpness. Sarah found the alien-ness of it to be deeply intriguing.
“This is the easy part,” Eiret told her. “You can do this for me?”
“Sure!”
Eiret set her up with the wax, and produced from his collection something that reminded Sarah of what she would use to buff a car. It plugged into the MAU-standard power block through an improvised adapter that her friend had made for them.
Eiret showed her how to turn it on and adjust the speed. “Move in little circles,” he told her, demonstrating with his empty hands. “You just need to get the ridges and larger scales, like here, and here. The smaller ones will shed and regrow fast enough that they don’t really need polishing. See?”
Sarah nodded and set to work, the tool humming quietly away under her hands. Eiret turned to Lurika, and began with the sealing compound. He chose a slightly different scent for her, one that was a little cooler in comparison to the wood-and-sand one he’d chosen for Karkess. This one smelled more like rocks and moss, and could be well-described as “wintery.”
The work went by quicker now, and Lurika had no scars to touch up, so she was ready for the polishing stage as soon as Sarah had finished with Karkess. Or, she would have been, had she not been so fussy with the scents.
Each one that Eiret opened, she dismissed. “Too soft,” she would say. Or “Too slow,” whatever that meant. Eiret went through nearly every bottle in his remaining collection, narrowing down the choices according to her feedback. Eventually, they landed on a few options.
The first one, Lurika liked, but Sarah didn’t. “Eurh, really?” she had said, her face screwed up.
“What, you don’t like it?”
“It smells like… tar. Or gasoline, or something.”
Lurika chuckled a bit, but then grew bashful. “Do you think… would my-- would other humans hate it?”
“Oh, well, I mean,” Sarah said, noticeably backpedaling. “I can’t speak for everyone. And it’s probably subtle enough most wouldn’t really notice it. But yeah, probably.”
Lurika shot a quick glance to Eiret, who swiftly produced one of the other options. This one had a similar back-of-the-nose profile, but was missing the acrid note that Sarah had objected to. It was deemed satisfactory.
Meanwhile, Sarah had finished with Karkess -- Eiret nodded appreciatively; she’d done a good job! No streaks, and the heat and friction had taken away the base smell of the wax and left only the new scent, and a smooth, hardened coat. According to Eiret, both would last for around 1-4 months, depending on shed timings.
Eiret moved to start the polishing process on Lurika, while Sarah prepared Karkess for the experimental part two of their little salon operation.
“I’m a massage therapist,” she explained to a confused-looking Karkess.
He stared at her, fruitlessly waiting for his translator to attempt that one.
“It’s come to my attention that some of you all have been fucking up your backs standing upright too much.”
“Some arxur develop a habit of doing that to match the humans,” Eiret added helpfully.
“Right. And it’s an unnatural posture for you all, can strain the muscles in the back.”
Lurika nodded slowly. “You do seem to respond better to that posture…” she said, almost defensively.
“A hunch is kind of a weak posture to us.”
Karkess rumbled out a deep laugh. “I have caught myself doing that.”
Sarah laughed with him. “Well. Sore backs, I think I might be able to help! And I did my research! So it’s, y’know, safe, and all that.”
The big arxur hummed in thought. “There is some soreness above my tail, here.” he admitted, gesturing at his lower back.
“Oh, I’ll bet. You’ve been carrying around, what, a quarter of your body weight, just hanging off of your back? Come on, let’s see,” Sarah said, gesturing him over to a table.
Karkess went along with it. The massage table creaked ominously under his considerable bulk, but held. He had to shift a bit to get comfortable; this table was very much not designed for arxur, especially not one as large as Karkess. His arms dangled over the sides, knuckles lightly scraping the ground. His face wouldn’t fit in the usual face-down headrest arrangement that a human would use, so he just laid his chin flat across it, staring directly forward.
He looked, Sarah thought, almost exactly like a giant crocodile who had found a nice warm log to sun himself on.
With Karkess ready, Sarah cracked her knuckles and rolled her shoulders. She’d have to put some real elbow grease into working on an arxur, what with their thick muscles and dense scales. She took a deep breath, and stepped forward.
What followed next was best described as a period of intense and brutal violence carried out against the muscles of Karkess’s lower back.
Sarah threw her weight aggressively into her palms, her elbows, into little rolling cylinders and spheres. Her feet would come off the ground as she pressed and pulled against his back. She visibly contemplated jumping up and down on his back. The phrase “the People’s Elbow” was uttered. She grunted and growled with effort. Sweat flew from her brow. She brought down assault after assault upon her victim, until she collapsed back into her chair, exhausted but finally finished.
Karkess had fallen asleep again.
Eiret and Lurika had watched the frenzied display in awe -- they were still staring even now, mouths hanging open wordlessly. Eiret’s polishing tool hung frozen in the air, buzzing uselessly somewhere above Lurika’s shoulder.
The panting Sarah caught their stares and grinned. “That should do something, I hope,” she said. “Hey, wake up.” She poked Karkess in the side.
“Hrr,” he grunted, stirring.
“I’m done.”
He blinked, and shifted a bit before sliding himself off the massage table. Immediately, he froze, his head snapping over to look at Sarah. His eyes widened a bit. “I… I feel great!” he said. A throaty, gleeful laugh poured out of him.
“Oh, I’m glad y-- whoa, h--”
His laugh turned into a cackle, and he switched himself between his hunched posture and his upright posture, reveling in his newly pain-free back. Each time he straightened, his head bumped up into the roof of the tent canopy and lifted it a little bit.
The rest of the four were shouting out, trying to get him to stop, Eiret even grabbing one of the legs of the canopy -- but to no avail. The weights had already been knocked off, and the tent had traveled a good few feet before Karkess settled down and returned to his normal posture, still giggling.
Lurika especially seemed to think this was hilarious. She threw back her head and laughed, a high hissing cackle, punctuated by the occasional “ow” from Eiret as her lashing tail smacked into his ankles.
“I think I fucked up,” Sarah quipped, grinning.
“No, no!” Lurika said. “I want that too!”
Sarah laughed and flapped her hand at Eiret and his polishing tool. “Well, finish up, then!”
So that was what they did -- after fixing the tent, of course. Karkess hung around for the rest of it. He didn’t really have a reason to stay, and didn’t seem quite as interested in chatting as Lurika had, but he stuck around anyways, seeming content just to be near. Sarah caught him no-so-sneakily admiring himself in the mirror a couple of times, too.
Eiret was fast and professional. The polishing only took a short minute or two, and then it was Lurika’s turn on the massage table. Hers went down distinctly less violently, being a much smaller arxur. When Sarah was done, she slid off the table in the same deeply relaxed way that Karkess had, and breathed in a great inhale before stretching herself out with a contented exhale.
She stretched kind of like a cat, arching her back and flexing forward and letting a shudder move through her spine and leave through her tail. It looked more like she was showing off than stretching.
She hummed and returned to her normal posture. “That really does feel great! Thank you…”
“Mm,” Sarah said, an eyebrow shooting up at the display. Was it just her, or…
It was very much not just her. Karkess was blatantly ogling, and Eiret was shooting her a look. Yeah, okay, she thought.
“No problem,” she said, moving swiftly past all that. “I’m glad you both enjoyed. And try not to stand up too straight in the future!”
Lurika chuckled and turned to Eiret, closing her eyes and bowing her head deeply down. “And thank you. It is deeply appreciated.”
Karkess, somewhere behind her, repeated the same gesture. “Yes. I thank you. I hope you do this again some day.” He gave a final blink, and with a polite tail tap on the ground, turned and ambled off on his way.
Lurika lingered for a moment, before an almost sheepish hssst, and she darted off to catch up with Karkess.
Eiret and Sarah watched them go, the new pair talking to each other as they walked. Eiret couldn’t help but smile in satisfaction. It was a nice feeling, the same one that made him love his job back on Wriss. It was the simple pleasure of having worked to improve someone’s day. The simple pleasure of a job well done.
But it was more than just that. He was, for the first time in a very long while, happy.
He thought about Szrin. The grief was still there, of course, tugging at his heart… but the sharpness of it had gone. That biting edge of despair and hopelessness had gone, and without it, he felt he might move forward.
Szrin had left so much more than just his bottles and jars, Eiret quickly realized. He’d honored him, he thought, by once more finding joy in something they had shared. Working again, it was like… it was like Szrin was still here. It felt good to let his work, and his joy, live again for but a moment.
Eiret’s smile deepened. Szrin hadn’t made it to earth… but his love had. And that was enough.
---------------------
firstnext