Hey y'all!
I've been looking for a great keyboard lately, and fell down the rabbit hole of keyboards. First of all, everyone loves their hall effect keyboards, that it made me wonder, if its worth the price. For me, its a really big chunk of money, but I am looking for a keyboard that will last me long years, and is good for gaming, as well as good typing experience. So, what would you guys say, is it worth around 80-100 USD extra for an HE keyboard?
I think it's important to mention, that I'm not really into modding keyboards. Never done it, and don't have much intention. I wouldn't say, that I will never give it a try, but my main focus is on stock prebuilts.
To clarify things, I'm a 19 year old student, who likes playing games, and enjoys them at a competitive level, but my skill level is above average, if not just slightly. Meaning I just do it at a hobby level, and I don't compete in events and such, just purely for my own enjoyment. I mostly play FPS games, namely Rainbow Six Siege, and Counter-Strike 2.
I have some savings, but I don't work, meaning I'm trying to avoid things, that I don't necessary need, or doesn't provide me with much additional benefits.
The prices after taxes and shipping would be approximately the following(For me):

• Wooting 60HE = 210 USD
• Arbiter Polar 65 = 225 USD
• Mentioned regular mechanical keyboard = 120-150 USD

If your answer is yes:
Most people say, that the wooting 60HE is the best, but I found out about Arbiter Studio's Polar 65, which seems more quality. I like the sound and looks of it much better, and it has arrow keys, which is not a must for me, but definitely good to have. Sadly the keycaps aren't shine through, but not that big of a deal in my case.
In the other hand, I don't know, if the switches on the Polar 65 would have a guaranteed longevity, as the wooting's does. Also no arrow keys, and as per reviews, poorer quality. Don't get me wrong, most likely it is good quality, but Polar 65 beats it by far. Of course regarding my own research.
Honestly, right now I prefer the Polar 65, just worried about the mentioned thing above.
If your answer is no:
I've been looking into linear switches only. I'm open to all recommendations. I'm looking for a high quality keeb, thats good for gaming, has decent sound, and somewhat budget friendly. Some board, that caught my eyes:

• Epomaker Galaxy 80 (Don't love the keycaps, might be too loud, and afraid it wouldn't last too long)
• Ducky one 3 (Don't like the sound, but I can get it in Hungarian layout, which is very rare.)
• Keychron v1 (It's base looks weird)

To summarize:
Would you say, that pulling the trigger on a hall effect keeb in my case is worth it? Do you have previous experience with the mentioned boards, and what would your recommendations be?
All help is highly appreciated! Thank you, if you read my message, and special thanks to everyone, that helps me figure this out!

Hello friends of the Steam Deck.
I really want to have a good controller to play my games on the big TV with the Steam Deck docked.
Must have (for me): - wireless - SteamOS compatible - correct A, B, X, Y layout (Xbox style) - Gyro / Motion Controll working and configurable over Steam Controller-settings - asymmetric Joystick layout - analog Triggers (no digital like the switch Pro) - hall effect Joysticks
Nice-to- have (but not must have) - colored face buttons (green A, red B, etc...) - hall effect Triggers - 4 way digipad (instead this 8 way ring style) - some LED/RGB stuff - programmable backbuttons - some other stuff like turbo, macros, etc...
absolutely NO-GO: - Switch layout face buttons - Playstation layout face buttons - laggy or buggy gyro / motion which will only work in a switch mode - cheap plastik feeling like stuff from a Kids-menue
I don't need a mode for nintendo switch, because i will use it 99% on Steamdeck or maybe sometimes on Windows. I don't need a Android mode too as I don't use any controller on my phone or tablets.
If the controller supports all of that I do not have a problem, as long as I can play flawless on the Steamdeck with all of the points listed under "Must-have"
I tried so far - original xBox Controller, but there is no gyro or motion - 8bitdo Ultimate Bluetooth, but it is mainly for switch with wrong button layout and only working gyro in switch mode (and then the triggers turns digital) - 8bitdo 2.4GHz for Windows or Android, but there is no gyro / motion control - GuliKit KK3, but the gyro / motion is real pain in the ass and works only when u push L button and you can't configure it in the settings.
I also tried - EasySMX X15 - EasySMX X10 - BIGBIG WON C2 pro - BIGBIG WON Rainbow 2 Pro - some cheaper all-in-one things
but all of them are not what I want or have some disadvantages, gyro problems, etc...
I found out, that the DS Controller for the playstation works really well. They have nice gyro / motion, I can adjust some LED and the Steamdeck recognise them really well. BUT I don't wand symmetric Joysticks or some squares, triangles or circles in my face buttons. Even if I would put some A, B, X, Y stickers on this buttons (lol, dirty workaround), the menus show the symbols of the playstation controller (squares, triangles, etc...). Beside that, the DS controllers don't have hall effect Joysticks. I don't like that!! I love the Xbox style, asymmetric joysticks and nice green A, red B, blue X and yello Y buttons!!
Please help me out of this freaky jungle and tell me what controller fits to my "Must-have" list!!
Thank you !!

Timestanp
Thinning the collection since I had to move to something more expensive and Im satisfied with my display pieces.
I also received 2 Sealed copies of Warhammer: 40k Darktide for the Xbox Series S that were incorrectly shipped to me, and I was unable to return them, so if you'd like one with your purchase feel free to take it.
Willing to trade for:
GMK Pacific base
GMK Matsu Base
TGR 910 ME Suave Blue + paypal
Selling

Boards	notes	Price
Aeroboard70 Black/Gold	1.6mm non-flex cut pcb, Cf plate non flex cut. Flawless condition. Will come with original box, foams, pcb tape, and both sets of gaskets. Little to no use, just ended up collecting dust on display.	$500 Shipped
Focus Fk-2001	Originally released in 1988. 102 Asian layout. White alps. Rescued from a bestbuy recycling bin. Restored and fully cleaned inside and out. Top case has a broken latch so front seam is slightly larger than normal. Sadly missing f2 and numlock keycaps, but is using the original rgb mods. Also has original tinted dust cover hinges, sadly no dust cover.	$70 Shipped

Keycaps	notes	Price
GMK Godspeed Columbia Base/SpacebaNovelties	Used a few times, no shine	$115 Shipped, ships in bags
Knockoff Midnight Rainbow	Mounted a couple times	$20 Shipped
Random beige/black/red 65% pbt kit		$5
MT3 Noctua Spacebars	Unopened	$10
XDA Honey	Will ship in bags	$10

Switches	notes	Price
Halot1s x88	Durock T1 Spring and Stem in Drop Halo true housings	$45 Shipped
Grab bag x1	Around 30 different switches, some cheap and common, some fancier ones.	$10 or can include in purchases over $100
Kailh Box Reds x90		$5
Kailh Box Browns x67		$5
Kailh Browns x67		$5

Hey!
I've been looking for a good keyboard lately, and can't really make up my mind. I would use it mostly for FPS games. I play Rainbow Six Siege and CS2 recently. I found out about Epomaker Galaxy 80, which seems really promising and got my interest. For me it would cost 140 usd with shipping. Its already really expensive for my budget, but I do want to get a decent keeb, and just forget about it for years. Another option I have, is to get a Cherry MX Red switch keyboard, for around the same price, which also has a layout I would prefer. I'm from Hungary, and have a couple letters, that no other layout can offer, namely the "ö,ü,ó,ő,ú,á,ű,í" keys. Missing these keys would certainly be a bit annoying, but I believe with some time I could get used to it, as I could use the letters on the keyboard, with the exception of like 2, which I can probably make a keybind for. Last week, I've looked into rapid trigger keyboards especially Wooting 60HE, due to its top-notch quality as stated by most people, which really made me think, so here am I writing this post.
My main question would be, if this keyboard really makes that much of a difference in terms of gaming. I like playing competitively, but I'm just an average gamer. How much does this feature matter for FPS games on a scale of 1-10? What would be my best bet here, do I throw basically most of my funds at the wooting, or should I save myself some, and get something else, maybe the galaxy80?

Hi all, I will be visiting Niagara for the weekend, and I'm hoping to do some bbq-ing. I'm staying in an Airbnb close to Clifton Hill and Rainbow Bride and the place has a grill. I see that there is a Wal-Mart nearby, but I was wondering if there was a butcher shop nearby that sells nice cuts of steaks? Rib eyes, strip loins etc.
Thanks in advance!

As If It Were Kismet: Prologue
Matt tore through the brush, blind in the dark. He didn’t care where he was going. He only knew he needed to be elsewhere. Far from here.
Behind him a creature howled that shocked his mind. It’s form was cruel and dangerous, though female. Nothing like the young woman she had once been. Nothing but a girl, a small and slight female.
It’s guttural growls and howls only grew closer as Matt tried to pick between seeing where he was going and getting away. The few times he looked he caught sight of the creature behind him. Hopping through the air with a speed that told him he was being toyed with. As if he were a mouse being played with by a cat.
But the reflex in him to run kept him going. His adrenaline going as hard as it could. The tightness and burning in his core tensing and locking up as his legs felt like there were being burned from within while taking on more of a heaviness.
His lungs were starting to betray him as he tried to gulp big breaths of air but only rapid and shallow breaths were all that he could manage. His brain was starting to burn….and then he was falling.
Falling down the side of a hill he saw the creature dart in a spring towards him, imperceivably fast almost. Catching him in mid air it seemed.
Managing to wrap its body around him and cushion his impact against the ground as they rolled. His mind barely took in what was happening during the roll. Only starting to understand what was happening once they were still.
The creature's triple D-cup breasts were unmistakably pressed hard against his back as he laid facing up at the night sky.
For a few seconds the world stilled and the needle light pain hitting the center of his brain took over for the cooking heat his brain had felt. His whole body felt heavy and reluctant to move.
Even if he could have really moved, a dull ache came over his limbs making them feel stilled and trapped as if by immeasurable amounts of sand that had engulfed him.
Slowly the arms holding him started to move. Moving so the creature's hands could start exploring him. Causing Matt to unstoppably let out a pathetic moan that made him go cold inside as hands lifted up his shirt and started to touch his exposed stomach and then his chest.
He would have whimpered so pathetically had he not still been in the depths of terror.
As its hands felt and groped his pecs he tried to situp as if to get away. For his efforts, his reward was a hand around his throat and a collection snarls and growls against his ear. A beastly, guttural voice spat words at him while somehow holding a feminine tone.
“Don’t move….I don’t know if I can calm down…”
Her words were not helped by her moans in his ear and the subsequent kissing of his ear. The flesh of his ear going between her lips as she moaned and seemed to pant. Releasing it and licking the side of his face with a moist warmth. He could feel its spittle, viscous and coating his flesh where the tongue touched. He could smell something in his saliva. Something that subtly entranced him.
Matt went stock still with fear and the confusion of mixed arousal. He barely perceived her right hand traveling lower on his body. A surprised moan and shudder echoed in the night from Matt’s lips as she took ahold of him. Her hand above his pants but still….stimulating him.
A light squeezing and almost probing of her digits kept him aroused and confused within her grasp. Resigning himself to the strange fate, Matt looked up at the stars as his mind tried not to shatter under the strange maelstrom of events and sensation that had started mere minutes ago.
His mind was only more confused as a slight figure, feminine in build, how it seemed to thunk the ground audibly as she landed on her feet out nowhere. Her knees barely bending under the pressure of the landing. Yet dirt was kicked up anyways and some of it onto Matt. Feeling it pepper his shirt and pants as it fell.
The figure, lit only faintly by moonlight, roared some dark tone Matt could only perceive as a demon as her eyes went bright with a crimson light. A light in the darkness that should not have been. “Let him go you bitch.” Was its words following the roar. Spittle escaping its mouth with faint droplets hit Matt's face.
The creature holding him by his throat and crotch seemed to tighten the grasp of both hands as it roared back. “HE IS MINE!”
The figure paused with a moment's hesitation. He was also her quarry. She had felt his fear without him knowing. His confused arousal. His fear. His terror.
And now he laid at the center of a struggle between two monsters. Unsure of who he wanted to win.
As If It Was Kismet Ch. 1
Matthew Berkshire hadn’t seen his mom in two years. Not that he had seen her much over the last six years.
A messy divorce between messy people and mom’s chaotic want for a life in Alaska had been one of the most…upsetting times in life. Setting him up for so much of what had defined his life thus far but then that had really started two years before he ever turned.
His ear buds were basic and simple. A part of cheap five pack, common for his life as he was known to lose little things. Small things. They had a mix of metal and hard rock playing in them. Some classics, some alternative. Whatever made him feel something, anything. Even if it was hate. Anger. Rage. It was better than feeling numb. Not belonging.
The escalator down to his lone bag to go with his lone carry on showed his mom waiting for him. His had a type, that’s for damn sure. Not that it helped him in the genetics department as he was stuck at 5’9” to go along with his mother’s five foot even as his dad stood six foot. Forever leaving him to feel small, to pale, under his dad’s shadow. Did he ever stand a chance?
The guy next to her with the unkempt former seventies porn stache was “Dave.” He’d met him twice when his mother came and visited him in Florida. To his credit the guy didn’t look annoyed. Kind of concerned kind of which made Matthew want to break his frozen look but he was well practiced. Having removed any note of sadness from his face through much…tribulation.
His mother’s look on her face betrayed a hint of worry as the bruises on his face lightly showed up close. Saying his name was his like a distant echo that belonged to someone else.
Dave cut in and pulled out his right headphone. “What the hell bud, they knock you hard enough to hurt hearing? Your mom’s asking how you are doing.”
Matthew pulled out the other bud and grunted an empty “sorry.”
“You still have bruises after two week? What did they do to you?” His mom’s voice was full of worry. Something he hadn’t heard in….too long. Too long to make him feel anything. To ever make him believe there was any sincerity to her words. To not think her voice and mannerisms were an act. An act by someone who…wasn’t really there.
“It’s only fair. I took a nose. Fractured a couple orbital bones. Left one with having to get his jaw wired shut. And one will never walk right again for what I did to his knee cap.” Matthew said it all with a bored and disinterested tone. Perhaps well rehearsed.
“My man, handing out ass kickings, not bothering to take names.” Dave was quick to be the typical man’s man about it. Matthew wasn’t quite done yet. Lifting up his shirt to expose the right side near his kidney. Revealing a nasty scar from a six inch blade. “Luckily they gave me this first so they could rule it all in self-defense. The fuck didn’t get it in more than inch before I ruined his knee cap and then I took the nose of one of the fucks holding me.” Now he chose to smile keeping the well practiced dead look in his eyes.
No retorts. No questions. Just horrified looks on their faces. As he liked. As he preferred. They could hate him. They could be disgusted by him. But by God they would fear him.
“Well the doc did a good job sewing you up.” Dave commented uncomfortably. “Dissolving sutures. Ain’t they grand.” He smiled again and let it abruptly fall off his face and started walking to the carousel for the baggage claim.
Waiting and making small talk with Dave as his mother stood in silence. He was not the little boy she abandoned. The little boy she left with an angry man. While never hitting him. Left him in constant fear till he turned twelve and just didn’t care anymore. Something snapped. Broke. And he didn’t care if he died. Didn’t care if he stole. Didn’t even care if he killed. He just knew not to get caught. Something left over from his grandfather’s wisdom which came to make more and more sense with each passing year of life since that thing inside him broke.
Finally his bag came around and Dave went to try first to grab it but Dave practically leapt ahead of him. “Is that your grandfather’s rucksack bag?” his mother asked in a perplexed voice.
“Figured it’s been around since Viet Nam. So it’d serve me better than any of the worthless stuff they called luggage.” Dave commented after Matthew’s words. “Well hell yeah I still got mine from Desert Storm. You know the first one.” Dave laughed and Matthew eyed him oddly. Be it in the south or whether it was Alaska, country boys are country boys he guessed.
The car ride to the two people’s house, as Matthew thought of them. Was uneventful and full of vistas he imagined metropolitan types wetting themselves over. At most they meant isolation to him. Furtherness from the world as there were no mountains in Florida. And what mountains he had last seen in another state had been when he was eight. Another life, to Matthew it felt like. A life alien to him.
As If It Was Kismet Ch 2
Dave and his mom’s place was some two story type tucked into a tree line far up an elevated point. It was by no means the highest point in the mountain but it certainly felt up there.
Rocks were where the driveway should have been Matthew thought. Grabbing his backpack and rucksack from Dave’s jeep was no hard thing for him. Matthew was in formidable shape for someone his age, maybe even five years older. He had gotten a mix of fairly big shoulders and arms along with the chest to go for it when compared to most kids his age. A side effect of working out at least twice a day. First thing in the morning, some time in the evening, and the school’s gym when had had a good semester in school before he had to leave Florida.
Dave tried to come up and help him but Matthew walked past him towards the house. His mom was not sure what to make of his demeanor. Matthew was not the sweet kind boy he had once been. But she had been gone from his life essentially for a long time.
Ushering him into the house she cracked some joke he did not hear. He was too busy looking about and seeing a mix of old outdated decorating mixed with the strange and odd flair of his mother. Color contrasting against drab and dated. Like brightly painting over an old home that was falling apart he thought.
“Your room is this way Mattie.” His mom brightly intoned.
Without expressing any interest he followed his mother. Still faced and nonplussed. Just going along with the current. Pushed and pulled with its roll like a piece of driftwood.
The room was simple. A single small bed. A set of rubber weights with a curl bar and barbells. “Your dad said you were into weight lifting so we got you a bunch of stuff. Dave says it looks like his department’s gym almost. The woman’s smile felt very alien to him.
“Thank you. I appreciate it. I’ve got most of my stuff from home.” Matthew starting unpacking his rucksack and pulled out cables of repetitive and mixed colors. A single plastic barbell handle. The ruck sack could be filled with water bottles for added weight during pushups he figured. Remembering a Michael Keaton movie he watched with his dad post-Batman movies where he played a convicted killer using plastic bags filled with water for weights.
Matthew caught movement outside his lone fairly large window that could let him step out onto the roof of the house given its layout.
He saw a number of people running together through what he guessed was the backyard of the property, not that it had any fences to mark boundaries
They wore clothes that looked similar yet different from each other at the same time.”Oh those are the Johnston’s. Really nice bunch of people. Been on the mountain for a long time Dave tells me.”
Matthew looked at the group of people running and noticed the lack of resemblance. “They are related?” Matthew quizzically asked. Seeing a black and possibly a hispanic person amongst the bland looking white people.
“Oh well they are all adopted but for one or two of them…besides the parents of course. The family has a long tradition of taking in orphans they say. Real nice of them to do that don’t you think.”
Matthew looked at his mother and the hosier accent made no sense to him as he arched his left eye brow. Her and his dad were both from Florida. Born and raised. Sure her parents were from New York city but…
Matthew shook his lightly without turning to look at his mother as his vision was grabbed by one of the runners in particular. A girl of moderate height. Soft brunette. A plain beauty he figured with a slim build….and lack of remarkable breasts and rear to make any note of but….girls in general were his type at his age.
She was pretty enough. He couldn’t deny that but he found himself transfixed by her visage.
But the way she turned and looked at him, especially at that distance felt very disconcerting to him. Even if she was smiling like…she was a taste of a bright shiny day. Somehow.
Matthew’s mom noticed the exchange and smiled to herself with closed lips. “Oh that’s Vicky. She’s your age I think. Very sweet girl, who does the charity functions. You know bake sales, blood drives, car washes and the like. I think you should get to know her. Might be good for you.”
A truck horn sounded a couple of beeps in rather succession. “Oh that must be Mack, he said he might come by later this evening but he seems early.”
Matthew’s mother turned and left his room. Leaving Matthew to exchange a few looks with the alluring Vicky as she turned her head away from him to talk to the others in her group and look back at him.
Still Matthew’s left eyebrow was arched. In a way that reminded him of Spock from Star Trek that he and his grandpa used to watch on some streaming service or another.
As he heard ambient chatter elsewhere outside the house he figured to check it out as the alluring sight of Vicky would be around he figured. It was dull to stare at artwork. He was a boy who preferred jet skis and the like. Something he could ride and enjoy immensely. Even if at times it got him stabbed.
As If It Was Kismet Ch 3
Matthew sauntered out of the house and down the rockway that stood in for a driveway.
A few new people had come over from what he could first surmise of the situation. As he got closer it was obvious they were indigenous people. A couple of grown men…and a girl?
She was mousey. Maybe five foot. Hiding behind glasses and a big camo jacket that was far too big for her. It looked made for a grown man and the backwards trucker hat on her head kept her long black a beautiful mess of sorts.
She was cute in a way. A little androgynous but she had a cute energy to her. She reminded him of the more tomboyish Puerto Rican girls he had gotten into back in Florida. Given the deer corpses in the back of the truck….probably more dangerous to play with given the men in her family.
Small chatter passed between the adults when the girl noticed but turned away, trying to hide the tiny hint of a smile.
“Oh Mattie, this is Mack. He works with Dave at the sheriff’s department and John, he’s with fish and wildlife.” Matthew nodded at his mom’s words with some blankness as he looked at the deer the in the back of the pickup truck.
“Gale tells us you hunted with your dad some in Florida and Georgia.” Mack offered with a light hearted laugh camouflaged by his big simple and cheery but husky way he spoke.
Looking in the back of the truck he spoke. “We used lever action thirty-thirties and Mosin Nagants in seven-six-two-fifty-four-rimmed.” Mack and John whistled in an exaggerated fashion. Leaving Matthew to wonder if they were mocking him.
Mack spoke. “Well we just used thirty-odd-six in a custom gussied Garand.” That caught Matthew’s attention. “You have a Garand…” Matthew finally demonstrated interest in anything. “My dad has an SVT-40 and a Hakim 8mm but he always wanted a Garand but was too cheap to buy one.”
Gale, his mother, chimed in loudly. “Oh his Dad loved his guns but was such an odd duck about how he bought or why he bought them. Never made sense to me how he wasn’t a collector but he didn’t get the latest and greatest.” Gale laughed uncomfortably. At least it seemed that way to Matthew.
Matthew pointed to the girl with an underhanded pointing hand. “And who is this? A cute little mute mouse or does she have a name?” Dave and the other men laughed.
Mack again spoke. “Well you people call her Rebecca, she’s my adopted daughter.” Matthew was taken aback by what he heard. “You people?”
Rebecca kindly spoke with a soft but almost melodic voice as she struggled to maintain eye contact. “White people or rather not members of our tribe. It’s just easier to appease the colonizer kind of thing. Borrowed from when the Jesuit missionaries chased us up here.”
Mack stepped in. “It’s just easier to have white people names than have them try to say our tribal names. And we don’t want them shortening or Anglicising our names kind of thing.” Rebecca stepped back into the conversation cutting off her adopted father. “It’s an insult to our history basically.”
Matthew cocked his head sideways raising his eyebrows shortly before letting them drop. “Well as soon as I’m eighteen I’m out of here and back to Florida so I’m a sort of involuntary colonizer of sorts. So I won’t be taking any of your land from you. The Seminoles on the other hand are still shit out of luck.”
Rebecca’s smile caused Matthew to reflexively smile. Mack made the moment more awkward. “See Becca, I told you someone off the reservation would like you some. You just have to be creative.” Mack laughed in a chiding manner…Matthew presumed. He sensed that he was the butt of some kind of cultural joke. Like marrying a white guy was some sort of insult or mark of shame. That kind of thing.
Rebecca turning away from him was not something he had been expecting. Her then getting in the truck in a huff left the group in a silence for a moment.
Dave spoke to break the awkward silence. “Well just bring the truck to work on Monday and leave it for me to grab up.” Mack acknowledged Dave and they started to get off as Rebecca looked at Matthew for another instance. Matthew couldn’t look away for some reason as the two seemed to lock eyes for an instance.
Till Vicky and family seemed to come jogging down the road. While Matthew’s eyes diverted from Rebecca’s. Hers did not till she realized he was looking elsewhere. And her vision found Vicky and what had been a hint of smile on her face turned glum and disappointed.
Matthew did not look away from the vision of Vicky but instead of a starry eyed fool looking longingly. It was a baffled look. Well baffled for him, with his eyes drawn narrow and night with a focus.
There was something about her…he couldn’t quite put a name too. The way she appeared to him. One second brunette. The next second blonde or blonde like. As if the color appeared in her air and disappeared in fractions of seconds. Much the same way her body almost seemed to…shift…very subtly…smoothly. A nicer bum. Larger breasts. And then back to a simple and plain form. Feminine no doubt. Attractive. But not so…remarkable.
As If It Was Kismet Ch 4
The next two days passed without incident. Nothing of any real substance or challenge to note.
Matthew got settled somewhat and started working out almost immediately. Exploring around the woods but Dave told him not to go far. Especially without a hunting rifle. Dave had left a simple semi-auto Winchester out for him. His bear gun as Dave referred to it with its four round magazine. But Matt figured till he got some practice with the rifle to leave it alone. He made a hiking stick like his grandpa taught him and treated it over a low fire. He would take some electrical tape for the end his hand would grip around. Plenty enough to ward off anything smaller than a bear he figured.
The ride to school was a pain in the neck but simple enough. Dave would let him use a clunker pickup truck he had laying around. It wasn’t pretty but it would get him to and from. Even if it was from the eighties and still backfired on occasion. But for now Dave and his mom took him on their way to the sheriff’s department.
It wasn’t much of a school. It wanted to be modern but its fifties original construction was very obvious. It serviced the pipeline families and familys’ of fisherman who worked the seasons in between their time at the pipeline.
Matt was to report to the principal for some reason Dave and his mom wouldn’t share. Which annoyed him but he figured it was to read him the law of land. Small towns with their big views of the outside world and like.
Dressed in jeans, a grey sweatshirt under a light jacket with steel toed boots set him more apart then he expected. His buzzed head didn’t help matters. Already he was feeling like a stranger in a strange land but he was quite strange after all. And he liked it that way. Normal people were so pathetically disappointing to him.
A secretary or assistant or some such led him to the principal’s office. Where it reeked of real wood that was old and fabric and upholstery that needed to be updated for the last twenty years, Matt figured.
“This is Matthew Berkshire, Principal Andrews.” The man was turned with his back to the door and he was quick to wave her off as he turned her around.
He was an older man. Fat and large. Tall with a body built like he had once been fit and a demeanour of annoyed and irate already as he fixed Matt with a scowl and look of disgust. Another worthless government whore. Matt thought to himself. His father and his grandfather had bestowed unto him a natural disrespect for government workers and the figures that wore unjustified authority as a shield but pretended the weight of the state was not at their back ready to crush all who resisted. Little figures of valor pretending to be mighty and alone but acting with the tyranny of the state and all the backing.
“Mr. Berkshire, please sit down.” His tone wasn’t unusually hostile, just gruff. As if he had better things to do.
Matt complied and took a seat in the chair while maintaining a friendly facade. Not everyone was an enemy. And not everyone needed to be an enemy. Even if anybody could be any enemy. There was no reason to make enemies you didn’t have to. Another of his grandfather’s bastardised wisdoms.
“Well I looked over you file and you have quite the history Mr. Berkshire.” Matt resisted qiuping back a joke. Instead he waited for Principal Andrews to continue as he remained nonplussed and looking as if he felt no need to respond. A simple head tilt with dead eyes looking back at the principle as if he was not even there would suffice.
Matt’s reaction or lack of a reaction rather made Principal Andrews only narrow his eyes with examination. He was not used to a kid not responding to him. Especially with his gruff and hard act going on.
“Well by all accounts you moved here after some problems at your last school. A fight broke out and you did some real harm to your fellow students it appears.” Of course, he would take the side of the perpetrators. School administrators always did. Especially when they weren’t white. Just a fact of the times. Cowardice and pathetic mediocrity was the way they leaned, like good government workers sucking the dick of Big Daddy government. Worthless whores.
Matt chose to reply. “Oh you mean the criminals that stabbed me. Got arrested at the hospital and then pled to felonies. Yeah Florida, with the American counties are good like that.” Principal Andrews went real still. No shame. No fear. No penitence. He didn’t like that.
“Well be it as it may Mr. Berkshire we don’t tolerate that kind of behaviour here…” Matt cut him off responding with a deadpan tone. “You mean self-defense meant to save one’s own life while the cowardly and pathetic school workers look on with zero interest but to keep their money rolling in and will allow known gang members with records of violent acts and crimes that should have them expelled many times over, where in certain Democrat counties such cowardice and idiocy empowered a couple school shooters?”
Principal Andrews looked at the Matt with a note of disgust. “Look here Mr. Berkshire, your beliefs matter not one bit here. This isn’t Florida. We don’t like our way of life being disrupted by outside agitators who have problems with authority.”
Matt did his best not to roll his eyes and let the older fat man drone own as he dead-stared him. Lifeless and without emotion.
The man came to a finish and Matt spoke up without having listened to him or paid him any attention. “Great now that’s taken care of. Can I please get to class and finish my sentence of two years at your wonderful school?”
Principal Andrews huffed and snorted before calling in Vicky. Vicky stood in the corner after entering with a quiet and seamless presence. Matt felt disturbed and tried not betray his feelings as the young Vicky was perceived and not perceived to be moving.
Principal Andrews made the introductions and Matt nodded back. She was to be his chaperone for the day. They had the same classes and she was to show him the ropes so to speak. The ins and outs of the school. The locations of their classes.
He recognized her. It was hard not to. The way her appearance seemed to shift fluidly almost. The petite and skinny brunette ever so lightly had a big bust and blonde hair with curves added when she seemed to shift before his eyes. Like watching a film but each frame had a different person.
Matt didn’t say anything about it. Even if he did he would only be acknowledging his crazed state, if he had one. If.
Unlike an obedient puppy dog he got up in a slow and awkward fashion and followed behind her as his oddly disproportionate frame allowed. Causing her a note of concern for some reason. As if she was seeing something she shouldn’t have been….Or he was just weird. And Matt could admit to himself he was just weird. Part of his charm, he would jest about it at times. Not that he had many people to jest to now.
As If It Were Kismet Ch. 5
Following Vicky into the hall off to their first class was simple. She exchanged small talk and he slightly smiled as if to obviously suggest he was just being polite.
Inside his head, Matt was trying to figure out if he was having a psychotic break. The way Vicky looked kept changing and he looked at the other people around him and they stayed the same.
He was searching his mind as they were walking. And thus he wasn’t paying attention to where he was looking and so fell to his face forward over his feet seemingly out of nowhere.
A series of laughs erupted as it sunk in that he was obviously tripped. Like in prison this was a challenge to his superiority. If he let this pass he would be mocked and sneered at by this same group of boys. He wouldn’t walk to them like he was going to do nothing like a little bitch.
In a rage he turned and punched the stomach of the first face he saw. Some typical blonde haired wannabe jock. He knew from experience not to aim for the ribs. Instead he needed to aim for where he thought the belly button was.
Yells and screams blindly echoed around him as his after the punch he followed up his elbow of the opposite arm slamming into the face of the jock. Harder than a fist, the elbow struck the jock’s jaw and seemingly dropped him against a locker. Just in time to catch an errant and soft punch to the nose that sure enough hurt but did little to slow him down as his dad had taught him to fight through the pain. Blood and scars happened. They were a natural consequence of life to a man.
Taking the punch and falling further into his red state Matt headbutted the punch thrower before another guy arm bared his throat from behind. Which he managed to get his grip on the arm over a letterman jacked and jerk the unprepared boy to the side with him still latched on.
A few feet away from the lockers Matt knew his only chance was to jump and push off the lockers and knock the boy to the ground and so he did. He heard a thunk of the boy’s skull bouncing off the ground and he turned to pull out of the grapple.
The beatings he had taken from his father, the grapples, being choked unconscious. Had prepared him for fighting little bitches who didn’t know what a fight was. It wasn’t gay porn with rabbit punch fists flying.
Blood was running down his face and the pain started to hit him as the threats had been eliminated. Only then did he remember to breathe. Taking breathes as Vicky came up to him with tissues and took a hold of his nose.
“Owww owww owww what the fuck my nose could be broken.” He said to Vicky as she pulled his head up and back.
“It’s ok Carl. It’s done.” Matt tried to look to see who Vicky was talking to. It was a boy taller than his 5’9” by more than a small margin. The boy eyed him bored and annoyed before speaking. “What happened here?” An unoriginal line but one Matt couldn’t be a smart aleck about. “Well you see there was an outbreak of tripping and we all tripped over my dick. It happens.” Matt was about to laugh when Vicky seemed to pull up while still gripping his nose causing Matt no small amount of pain which he audibly evidenced.
Vicky spoke in a tone he wasn’t expecting. As if she was accustomed to issuing orders. “Keep Iris away from the hall till we sanitize the site. We have blood from at least three people contaminating the site. And have Jake bring me a spare jacket and shirt for this moron.”
Carl seemed to acknowledge her orders and seemed to blink away. Maybe the punch hit harder than he expected. He had no time to wonder as Vick took her hand away from his and pushed him against the lockers. With ease he had not been expecting from her form and stature.
Before he could respond Vicky licked his blood covered chin and then his lips and spoke to him. “Focus on me you little blood bag.” Her tone had an annoyed yet feminine sneer.
“Look into my eyes. Look at me. You belong to me. You are just another food source in a collection of food sources.” Her eyes were a beautiful hazel Matt thought. Almost green. Pretty like jewels in some old treasure collections. The eyes he could get lost in before kissing her. Finally Vicky was just a slight and petite brunette and he thought she was beautiful.
She would make a hell of a girlfriend. Some cute thing he could see laying on the beach in Florida on their sides laughing and smiling before trading light kisses while hands wandered innocently. Before his mind could drift further he felt her lips on his. It took him a second to mentally grasp the kiss but his arms were around her back as her hands were at his sides. His eyes reflexively closed as he saw hers close.
It was ineffable to Matt. Beyond words, what was happening. The kiss, the moments beforehand. The way his brain tickled with electricity and gentle warmth. He had never had a kiss like this and he had traded more than a few kisses with at least a few girls.
The kiss was like a warm bath with his consciousness slipping beneath the surface. Their lips only parted to try new angles and approaches as Matt struggled to take in breath. It was a moment he could have stayed trapped in for….he didn’t know. But a curt throat clearing by another girl pulled them out of the moment.
The girl was taller than Vicky. Blonde. With slight curves. Vicky addressed her bewildered and gobsmacked, and perhaps a bit embarrassed. “Tina?”

PREVIOUS
The light coloured wooden floorboards creaked softly under my weight as I struggled. Using human crutches wasn’t difficult, but it was demeaning. They were miss matched and that was confusing. One was from a set I'd had as a child, while I didn’t recognise the other at all.
Without giving it too much thought I turned into my fathers study to find the room was changed. It was dilapidated. The furniture was rotten and falling apart while all the books were moth eaten. Brigetta sat on the floor, weaving thread into talismans.
‘Brigetta…? What are you doing?’ I asked as the space gradually fell away around us.
‘Making an anchor for you,” she answered softly. She wasn’t crying exactly, her eyes weren’t red and she wasn’t sobbing, but water ran down her face from her eyes. It was an unnatural amount that pooled around her in a puddle as she worked.
‘Why?” my voice echoed, confused.
‘Because they’re going to kill you.’
Cold dread trickled down my spine, ‘…Who are..?’
‘The Fae.’
As she spoke a shadow moved beside her and Markos appeared from nowhere. He held something in his hand, however I wasn’t able to make it out as the panic jolted me back to consciousness.
Taking a deep breath in, I was awake before I opened my eyes. Sweat dampened my clothes and I blinked slowly as understanding came to me, I had been dreaming. I couldn’t remember falling asleep, but I awoke in darkness. My mouth was dry and the only part of me that didn’t hurt was the leg I couldn’t feel, every other part wished for death.
However I was laying on something soft under light sheets. They ruffled softly as I turned over, and the warning came immediately, “Don’t try anything stupid.” It was Nathaniel who had spoken. His voice was somehow reassuring, smooth and calm. He was sitting not far from me beside the glow of a small lamp with a book in hand. It backlit his hair, giving him an ethereal halo, and he didn’t so much as bother to look over when I stirred.
“Where am I?” I asked, confused. My voice was husky and quiet as the vocal cords struggled to work.
“You’re in my chambers, and if you try anything, I’ll kill you outright.”
It came back to me gradually, being carried through endless marble hallways, and forced to bathe. I exhaled with shame as I remembered. Showing weakness was unacceptable in my family and I was a disgrace for being captured alive… My father would hate me if he knew, he would probably never speak to me again.
“...Why haven’t you killed me already?”
“Because you’re of no use dead.”
I wasn’t sure I was of any use alive either, “...Thank you,” I murmured softly.
“It’s too soon to thank me,” he answered, uncaring, as he turned a page and I allowed my gaze to drop
He was probably right. Even if I was safe right now, this was only temporary, and I didn’t have the energy to argue even if I wanted to. “How long has it been?” I asked instead.
“A couple of days,” he moved when he spoke and I automatically tried to recoil.
It was a wasted effort. I could hardly move at all, let alone defend myself. My injuries had set, and the muscles were simultaneously weak and stiff. I swallowed anxiously as he walked past. “Whatever you’re going to do, please don’t… I’ll do anything you want…”
Of course I was lying. Pretending to be afraid and hoping I was correct in what he wanted to hear as I tried to anticipate how best to survive this situation. “What I want right now, is for you to stop talking.”
Nathaniel passed me again and I flinched, maybe I wasn’t pretending as much as I wanted to be, I thought bitterly. However, I realized then that he was largely ignoring me. He had grabbed another book from somewhere in the darkness, and returned to his seat without acknowledging me.
Gradually, my heart rate slowed. The fae wasn’t going to do anything, he was just existing in the same space… but why? Was it a ruse? Another interrogation technique? Maybe he was trying to break my mind with the endless uncertainty. I watched him with wary caution as I debated whether or not I could use my charm to get him to let me go.
However, between the warmth of the bed and the gentle rustle of paper turning, my eyelids were growing heavy. My thoughts drifted and my consciousness was slipping away. I didn’t trust him, and I didn’t want to risk being killed in my sleep, but, maybe that wouldn’t be the worst way to die. At least I wouldn’t know it had happened…
***
When I awoke next I was alone in the plush bed. Sunlight glistened off my lashes and I turned over to get away from the brightness. The air was cold and every part of me ached, but the blankets were warm. I pulled them tighter around myself, nesling lower into them as I cautiously looked around.
In daylight, the room was cluttered. A thousand different ornaments, tapestries, crystals and pendulums crowded every surface. Books were haphazardly stacked in piles on the floor and leaned at precarious angles, leaving only narrow pathways through the mess.
To the right were french doors leading to a balcony. They were framed by burgundy velvet curtains that cascaded downward into heavy folds of excess fabric, and semi-transparent curtain sheers. At the foot of the bed was a Victorian era fainting lounge with similar dark velvet upholstery and an asymmetrical, ornately carved, wooden backrest.
On the left was a small partitioning wall that blocked the rest of the space from immediate view and the entryway to the bathroom. Antique furniture hidden among the mess lined the perimeters of the room and refracted light cast dull rainbows across the walls. It was beautiful, in a chaotic way.
Nathaniel was nowhere in sight and the room was quiet except for the gentle tick of the pendulums. I was alone as far as I could tell, but it was with caution that I began to move.
“Hello?” I called, wincing as I put pressure on my arm to push myself up.
The room remained silent and I glanced around to be sure. I had half expected this to be some kind of trap, however, nothing happened and I carefully swung my legs over the edge of the bed. Heaving the damaged one over with disgust.
A thin trail of magic wrapped around my ankle and I smiled bitterly. It was a tether, binding me to the bed with a limited range of freedom. The writing itself wasn’t overly complicated, but I had no magic to use and the breakpoint was on the ceiling where I couldn’t reach just yet. With a small irritated huff I gave up, moving instead to find a weapon. That fae bastard would regret bringing me here.
Using the bed frame as support, I stood before awkwardly hopping across the room. I tried the balcony doors first, they were locked both physically and with a rigid barrier spell. Next I tried the main door only to find a similar situation before debating whether or not I could make it out the bathroom window. Most likely not, I realized bitterly. Escaping wasn’t a task I was capable of in my injured state.
However, that didn’t make me defenseless. I limped toward the desk and rummaged through the draws. Inside each drawer was no better than the rest of the room. They were filled with ink pots and quills, pens, pencils, paintbrushes and loose paperwork.
Small trinkets and other useless things that I suppose he simply couldn’t find any other place for only added to the disarray. Shutting the drawer I snorted in exasperation. It was ridiculous. What kind of person keeps so many pointless items? He must’ve had a hundred shiny but harmless trinkets.
Eventually I came across an engraved pocket knife made of silver. It opened with a swift click and the blade was remarkably sharp. I could kill Nathaniel easily with it… However, the thought of doing so made me nauseous and I closed the blade. It was pointless anyway, even if I killed him now, I was still trapped in the fae castle.
Placing it back on the desk I slowly sank to the floor instead. I hated myself for this, for being so weak. My fingers had little grip strength with my knuckles still healing, and with my good leg being compromised it was difficult to stand for too long. If I had killed him in the forest none of this would be a problem and I would still be with my family.
Some part of me knew I had sealed my own fate, but I wasn’t sure I regretted it. At least if I died, the war would be closer to ending and I sighed, running my hands back through my hair. The situation was hopeless. I didn’t know what to do, and I was afraid of what Nathaniel would do to me when he returned. For all I knew this was just another interrogation technique…
A muted click interrupted my thoughts and I glanced up. A moment of silence followed the sound and I waited in tense uncertainty: had Nathaniel returned? Seconds passed before I heard the soft swoosh of the door closing again and the hair on the back of my neck prickled. Someone had entered the room.
Boots clacked on the floorboards in purposefully slow steps as they navigated and I moved immediately. I crawled quietly across the floor and slipped under the bed, wedging myself between the clutter beneath it. Moments later the footsteps came closer, and I watched as small white shoes with a neat heel walked past the bed. Slender legs with tanned skin filled the shoes and the girl came to a stop beside the desk where I had been.
She stood there a moment and I held my breath as she examined the area. However when she turned to go, the pocket knife fell off the desk. It landed among the junk on the floor and she stooped to collect it. The woman was human, and remarkably beautiful.
Her long white-blonde hair fell forward over her shoulders and her slender fingers wrapped around the pocket knife. Her nails were manicured, painted pastel pink with small gems encrusted on them. She wore light makeup with matching diamantes on her upper cheek bones and bore the contract marks of a Fae agreement under them.
For a brief moment I wondered who’s ‘property’ she was. Probably not Nathaniel’s otherwise, she wouldn’t be creeping around his room like a thief, I thought as she stood again. No emotion crossed her face as she set the knife back where it had been before it fell and wondered what would happen if she saw me. Would I be able to convince her to help me? She didn’t seem unkind, however, fae ‘pets’ are well trained.
They’re loyal to their masters in all ways, and in combat they’re deadly. On the battlefield they cut through my father’s human worshipers with no remorse or restraint, and will just as easily cut down any un-reveanted vanir who crosses their path. Worse still is that they’re impossible to spot until they attack.
They look alike to any other human and blend in among our forces. That was part of the reason we began to poison our horde, the trace of death separates them from the vibrant life of those controlled by the Fae.
Eventually the girl turned away and disappeared from view. It seemed whatever she was looking for she hadn't found it and I exhaled with pure relief when I heard the door close again as she exited. I wasn’t sure I could have taken the stress if I had been found.
Laying under the bed my body ached and my bruised ribs hurt. I waited there a while, gathering the willpower to wriggle back out before deciding not to. It would take too much effort, and I felt safer in a hidden place. I fell asleep again curled among a pile of worn, but not dirty, clothes.
(Next chapter available on Patreon, as well as some ahhh spicy posts...)

Vote on a match featuring the detective teams allied against a masked vigilante having gone berserk!

(Shoutouts to u/ShimoDragon and Heart of the Rose for the match!)
Scenario: The Kamala Rose International, Vasitanagarh — 2:06PM
Weeks ago, in the very center of The Kamala Rose International lay the fantastical garden known as the Heart of the Rose, in the center of that garden stood a gazebo, and in the center of that gazebo was a table surrounded by four individuals in a heated discussion.
“That was sloppy work, Margherita!” Sulka slammed their fist against the table in an uncharacteristically loud fit of rage, “I told you to get rid of that man last week! Now because of your pointless delays he was able to leak that scandal to the news!”
“Hey hey, levati dai coglioni! I don’t appreciate the blame being thrown onto me here,” Margo threw up his arms in response, looking more annoyed than upset, “You never told me there was any urgency. Besides, it takes a bit of time to frame an accidental death. What, do you think you can just shoot a guy in the head and call it a suicide? You watch too many movies if you think that kind of thing can just happen overnight, mammalucco.”
“Do you even care that our operation here is in jeopardy now that that video is drawing prying eyes our way?!” Sulka almost spat at the italian man, “Your nonchalance is insulting!”
“Easy, Sulka,” Jim Peckle interjected, “Margo did his best. No way for him to know that things would turn this way.”
“You’re both right, actually,” Margo sneered, “I did my best, as I do with every job, but I honestly couldn’t care less if this little crime ring collapses. You lot are nothing more than a side hustle to me, my allegiances lie back in Italy. In other words, stop pestering me and vai a cagare.”
With a swish of his apron Margo left, leaving Sulka to smolder in a more recognizable quiet anger.
“That’s the last time we give him a time sensitive job, if you ask me,” Pluto spoke up for the first time since arriving (late), “The unwanted attention is a problem, don’t get me wrong, but I’m more concerned with how we even got to this in the first place, hey? That guy in the video was talking about missing people, Kiisseli. Just what the hell have you been up to?”
“Need I remind you, Hendrix,” Sulka’s cold gaze turned to meet Pluto’s, “that part of our arrangement involves the right to privacy. I do not intend to pry about what you use our resources for so I expect that you will do me the same decency.”
“Excuse me…?” Pluto straightened up from his relaxed position, “You don’t get to just shrug this off after bringing the feds to our damn doorste-”
“To be curt,” Sulka cut him off, “It’s none of your damn business, Pluto. So drop it.”
Behind Sulka’s back, Jim quietly scoped his nearest emergency exit.
Pluto’s vein bulged visibly at Sulka’s words, “You’ve got people paying attention to the airport cuz you’ve been pulling some shady bullshit and you just managed to get your ass handed to you by a cat and some whackjob in a mask, hey. Obviously this is my fucking business!”
“I may have been beaten by a “whackjob” as you put it,” Sulka slowly rose from their chair, “but I could certainly beat you if you’re going to keep acting like a thorn in my side.”
“You could beat who?” Pluto’s voice raised an octave in sheer frustration and confusion, “Trust me, you don’t want this smoke, Kiisseli.”
“What’s this about smoke?” Dark Disquiet shimmered into view and lit a fire in its palm behind Sulka as they spoke, “Because from where I stand you’re the only one who should fear getting burned, Hendrix.”
“This isn’t the time or place for a fight,” Jim stepped in between the two, holding up his hands. Behind his dark sunglasses, his eyes flicked cautiously over to Sulka. “Everything just goes up in flames. Nobody wins… Best cool things down and make peace.”
An uneasy silence hung over the gazebo until Pluto clicked his tongue in frustration, “Yeah. Fine. Better an ally than an enemy, I suppose. But let it be known that next time I have to deal with problems caused by your actions I’ll be expecting a damn good explanation, hey? Now I’m getting out of here before your self important face pisses me off any more than it already has.”
Once Pluto had left earshot, Sulka let out a sigh and pinched the bridge of their nose, “I hate to admit it but I too am in a state where I still need to rely on Hendrix’s assistance. Oh how I despise co-leadership…”
“I like having him around,” Jim replied, shrugging minutely, “He brings a lot to the Heart. He’s easygoing, and a lot more dedicated than he seems on the surface. It would be a shame to drive him away.”
“You’ve already deescalated the situation, Jim Peckle. Any further arbitration would be pointless, unless you mean to crawl your way back onto my good side. In which case you have a long way to go,” Sulka made a dispassionate gesture towards the exit, “You may leave as well, but don’t assume that this means you’re off the hook. You’ve not yet been forgiven for leaving me in the dirt and running off with that costumed clown after our fight.”
Jim hesitated for a moment before deciding to swallow his pride and take his own advice. Instead, he simply gave a light nod in response and scurried out of the gazebo.
For a time Sulka sat in silence, partially to gather their thoughts and partially to make sure their team members had cleared out. “Marko, Olli, come here now.”
Barely missing a beat, the Runoilija brothers ran in to greet Sulka, “Right here boss!” Marko, the bigger of the two, responded, “Sorry we weren’t here for the meeting–that kid you hired a while back was break dancing in the halls outside the garden and we were entranced by the little guy!”
“Enough!” Sulka was all too familiar with how the brothers could prattle on if left unchecked, “I didn’t call you over to have you discuss your simplistic entertainment. I have a job for the two of you.”
“Lay it on us boss, we’ll get it done in no time,” Olli rubbed his hands together in anticipation.
“To be more accurate it’s closer to a reassignment than a job,” Sulka tucked their hands behind their back, beginning to pace across the raised dais. “Thanks to this mess we’re in, I’ll be forced to decrease, if not totally halt, my… cultivation, we’ll call it, her at the Rose. In order to make up for the drop-off in offerings we will need to expand operations outside of the airport. I’ve already made the arrangements. Starting tomorrow, you two will be stationed at Club Naraka over in Port Konwar. You will remain vigilant for any and all stand users that enter the building. I don’t care how you do it but make sure you check every guest. Once you find a stand user you are to restrain them and call for me. This is by far the most promising location I’ve managed to get a hold of, so I am expecting big things. Are there any questions?”
“Uh, it’s a club, yeah?” Marko cocked his head, “That means there’ll be booze, right?”
“...Yes Marko,” Sulka sighed, “There will be drinks of all kinds.”
“Alright! We won’t let you down boss! You can count on us!” Olli beamed—and promptly tripped on Marko’s heels in his haste as the two of them rushed for the door.
Sulka sighed again, if that pair of fools weren’t so loyal they would’ve discarded them long ago.
Scenario: ???, ??? — 1:20 AM
THUMP
THUMP
THUMP
Reese’s eyes slowly opened, his vision hazy. His head stung—that was the first thing he noticed, the dull throbbing pain in his temple. He couldn’t think straight. Where was he? Why was he here? What was-
God, his head.
“Ghhh...” He massaged his temples, blearily trying to force some sense into his brain. He was... Where was he...
Memories came back to him slowly, filtered through heavy bass and the scraping of a rusty fan overhead. He was looking for leads on something... His father was looking into Nightblooms... There were rumors of knowledgeable Stand users here... His teammates had told him not to go, but he-
The door creaked open, slamming against a dingy, degraded concrete wall. Reese lifted his head, slowly. His head felt like a ten ton weight on his shoulders. He could hardly see. What the fuck happened?
Through the now open door a stream of light poured in highlighting the silhouettes of two men. The bigger man on the right spoke first, “So this kid is the fresh meat, huh? And you’re sure he’s one of us this time?”
“Oh definitely,” The skinny man on the left replied, “This guy’s a stand user, no doubt about it.”
Reese could hear what the men were saying but his mind was covered in a fog and it was difficult to comprehend the words. Fresh meat? Stand user? Did these two bring him here? What did they want?
The skinny man kneeled down to bring himself face to face with Reese. Even in the darkness of the room he was close enough that Reese could make out his distinctly crooked nose , “I’m gonna make this real simple for you, pal. You see our boss is a very important person. They are the type with big plans that some people might not agree with. Because of that, they like to make powerful friends whenever possible. Friends like you, for example. For that very reason the boss is on their way here right now to meet you! I’m sure the two of you will get along great but I thought I should give you a bit of a warning. The boss doesn’t like it when their offer of friendship gets turned down, you see. There’s only one thing they hate more than that. Unnecessary risk. If they can’t have you as a friend… Well, I’m sure you’ll make the right choice once you meet them.”
“Uhhh, Olli?” The bigger one tapped the skinny man on the shoulder, “I don’t think this kid is hearing you. Look at his eyes, it’s like he’s still asleep.”
“Wha-?” Olli aggressively grabbed Reese’s head and forcefully opened his eyelids all the way to stare into the boy’s pupils, “Goddamnit, the drugs still haven’t worn off! Urgh, just put him back to sleep Marko. I’ll give him the speech again once he wakes up.”
Reese wanted to run or fight or something but he could barely move as the skinny man- Olli let go of his head. Drugs? Had these two drugged him? His mind was swimming with Olli’s monologue creating a whirlpool of words and phrases that he recognized but could not focus on. With every ounce of his available strength he lifted his body onto his elbows and looked up to his captors.
“W-wait a se-” He couldn’t even form a full sentence before the bigger man- Marko reeled back and threw out a punch.
There was a violent shake.
A loud thud.
And then black.
Scenario: Club Naraka, Port Konwar — 1:22 AM
Club Naraka was, if nothing else, accurately named.
When you first stepped into the subterranean hell pit of human desire, you were greeted with the thick smell of booze and cigarettes and other far less legal things. It had a way of overwhelming every sense, actually. Harsh lights strobed against the otherwise dim chambers of each floor, and the bass thumped hard enough to feel in your ribs. When you eventually found yourself in a place where it didn’t smell so harshly of booze, it was because it smelled like vomit instead, or some other thing you didn’t really want to figure out the source of.
Emile Gulati, 27 years old, stared with half lidded eyes at the air freshener she’d hung behind the bar, wishing with all of her heart that it actually worked. It was her last little rebellion against this place. She tried wearing earbuds, but she couldn’t hear her own music over the stuff they played in the club. She tried normal earplugs, but those hardly worked, and just made it harder to bartend. She considered nose plugs, but that’d just make her look weird - customers gave her enough shit already.
“Evening, bartender~.” A sleazy looking man had somehow wandered over to the bar without her noticing, splaying himself over the counter. Emile tried her best to hide her immediate disdain. “You, uh, wow, huh, eheh.” He pointed at her. “Nnnn~ice outfit. Eheh.”
She scowled.
“You gonna order something or what?” Emile made sure to step back a few feet. Best not to stand too close to guys like this - she’d learned that the hard way just a week ago. “I don’t work here as a fucking model. Get a drink.”
“Bitch.” The man sneered. “You people should be more agreeable. Tsch.” He wandered off, having seemingly forgotten what he came for in the first place. Emile sighed in relief. She idly looked back at the little bottle under the counter, and winced. She’d made a routine of reminding herself it was there and feeling like shit about it.
Being a bartender here was bad enough, but every now and then she’d get a lovely text from a higher up on the burner phone they’d given her to slip a few drops of that into their drink. Within moments a security guard would drag them away, leaving Emile with no explanation. Not that she was expecting one, granted. But she would’ve liked to know what exactly she was doing here. For closure, or something. Maybe.
Couldn’t pay rent in Mist City without a job, she reminded herself for the fourth time that night. The latest one really got to her - some bright eyed youngster filled with determination who was trying so hard not to look like he was there on some sort of mission. She had hope that whatever job it was would succeed, but that hope seemed to evaporate like a fine mist when she watched him disappear behind the elevator doors.
She rubbed her temples.
“...”
And exhaled. This place got in the way of her reason, the music keeping her from thinking. Was next month’s rent worth the people she’d screwed over? Hell if she knew.
“I’m taking my fifteen,” said Emile, to no one in particular. She marched away from the bar, stalking towards the elevator. When the doors closed behind her, she found herself blessed by something close to peace and quiet. It reassured her.
Equally reassuring was the golden coin beneath her feet, glinting in harsh LED light.
“...Lucky coin, huh?” She picked it up, admiring it for a moment before pressing down on the lowest button on the elevator keypad. She didn’t know what she was actually going to do - but it’d probably be better than doing nothing.
When the doors opened, Emile found the floor was completely barren. No one wandered through the dusty concrete halls; the only thing that gave her company was the thick, noxious smell that clung to the air. Preferring not to investigate its source, Emile began walking through the halls…until her eye caught on an open door. Unsure where else to go, she peeked inside.
Curled on the cold floor was a body. Emile’s stomach dropped–until she saw movement in the person’s chest. Still alive. That she could work with. Rushing over, Emile knelt next to the unconscious person, as she had with countless blackout drunks. She made sure he was on his side, and then gently stirred him until he woke. All the while, dread tangled her organs in knots. Who would do such a thing? Why? Still, the answers didn’t matter. What mattered is that something was very wrong with this place, and they needed to leave as fast as possible.
Yet, when the young man opened his eyes, he didn’t look at her with shock or fear, but anger. A righteous fury that had him just about jumping to his feet.
“Woah! Woah, settle down, you were unconscious, your body needs time-” Emile began, before the man shook his head. That alone seemed to dizzy him, as he braced himself against the wall.
“I don’t have time. I need to- I can’t have been the only one. I need to-”
Emile stepped closer, trying to put a hand on his shoulder, but he immediately bristled at the touch, as if on reflex.
“You’re hurt- look, man… something’s up with this place. We need to get out of here.”
But he just shrugged her off, moving towards the nearest unlocked door. Without hesitation, he flung it open, frantically looking for other survivors. Yet, what he and Emile found…were rows of bathtubs. That horrid, sharpened smell was even stronger now, nearly overwhelming. It was all Reese could do to not keel over. Instead, Emile moved to support him, and the two crept closer, peering over the edge.
Inside the tub, something boiled, bubbled, churned.
The thing inside could barely be called human. The acid gnawed at the corpse like a desperate, starving animal, stripping the charred flesh off of its bones. Unable to support itself, it collapsed further, head sinking under the liquid. Soon, its blank, lifeless expression was stripped down to its gleaming bone. Gone. All gone.
Reese felt like he was standing in a tunnel. Lightless. Empty. Infinite. The feeling of Emile letting go, the sound of sharp retching, something splattering against the tile, all of it was muffled.
What cruel animal is man.
It was the twin jolts of fear and rage that hit him like an IED. Pounding adrenaline restarted his heart, clicking the world into focus. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Emile heaving, shuddering, pulling at her hair. All the unconscious drunkards, for all the rowdy bar fights, none of it could have prepared her for these horrors. That adrenaline pumped through her in turn, she could feel that fear grow sharp and jagged-
She could feel something take that fear, guiding it towards a sound. Footsteps. Reese didn’t seem to hear them, only her. She tried to speak- nothing. No sound could escape her lips. The fear that gripped her chest was unlike anything she had ever felt before. She couldn’t make a whisper but with the full force of her adrenaline she could still move.
The next few moments were a blur. A bottle on a shelf, shouting from the previous room, a desperate lunge, and the distinct sound of rending flesh. Suddenly everything was vivid and clear again. She felt the guards blood trickle through her fingers as Emile looked down and witnessed what she had done. The bottle had become a knife, and she had stabbed someone.
The guard fell to the ground as Emile stared at her shaking, blood stained hands, “I- that wasn’t- I didn’t mean-” She was stammering all while Reese watched on in silent shock.
“He’s not dead Emile,” a feminine voice echoed through her skull, “You have to finish it. You have to make sure.”
Her eyes darted from one end of the room to the other, trying desperately to find the source, but the longer she delayed the louder it got.
“Kill him. Kill Him. KILL HIM. KILL HIM.”
What happens when an animal is backed into a corner?
It attacks.
Suddenly, something in Emile snapped- no, it shattered like a broken bottle. A low scream escaped her throat betwixt clenched jaws as she savaged upon the barely breathing man.The knife became her teeth, raised into the air and plunged into red flesh. A wet schlllrk rang as she pulled it back out, only to bury it down again and again and again.
Reese moved quickly, instinctually- tackling her to the ground. A desperate move- to break this haze that she was in, end whatever vile urge had overcome her.
His eyes widened as they tumbled onto the floor, spotting several pairs of feet. Guards. He had tackled them into the direct view of more guards.
”Shit.”
A snapping noise split the air. An ethereal crocodile came from the ether, ready to defend its user.
A cornered animal attacked.
Meanwhile in the upper floors of the club the Runoilija brothers sat at a bar. Olli casually nursed an elaborate cocktail as he criticized his larger brother, “I think you hit that guy a little too hard, he should be awake again by now but there’s no news from the guards… You better not have killed him by accident like that last guy, Sulka’s already pissed enough at us as is.”
“That was not my fault!” Marko slammed his beer mug on the counter, “That last one wouldn’t stay down, so I just kept hitting him until he did. How was I supposed to know that he’d die so easily!”
“You literally just gave a textbook description of negligence, you moron. Of course it was your fault!” Olli smacked Marko on the side of his head to emphasize his point.
“Why’d you always gotta hit me…” Marko grumbled as he rubbed his head, “If you’re so sure that I’m the moron then let's bet on whether the fresh meat has gone cold or not. Whoever loses pays for the other’s drinks for the rest of the night.”
“Alright deal,” Olli snickered as they shook hands, “I’ll go take a look.”
Olli’s hand restlessly gripped the switchblade in his pocket as he descended through the floors of the nightclub. He fully intended to finish off the drugged up kid in the basement, assuming he refused to work for the boss like most did. He would pin the blame on his dumbass brother and have him pay for his drinks for the whole night. A win-win scenario.
Suddenly, a vibration from his phone. An update from the guards:
The prisoner got out. There are two of them now.
Marko received the same message back at the bar above. In a fit of rage he chucked his mug of beer at the wall with his full strength, just barely missing the skull of the bartender who was serving him. Before he had a chance to cause any more senseless damage another message addressed to himself and all the other guards came through, this time from his brother.
Find them both, NOW! Kill them if you have to, just make sure they don’t leave! If they’re gone when Sulka gets here we’ll all be fucked!
Marko stood up from the bar and began to push through the flirting couples and stumbling drunkards of the nightclub as his Ultraviolet materialized. The fresh meat had a helper and the two were trying to scurry away like rats? That was fine by him. Marko specialized in hunting down rats.

The music seemed to distort more intensely the longer Reese listened. Maybe it was the dull ache of the base, punctuated by a hundred frenzied footfalls, a rhythm that toppled over itself. Maybe it was the rage that sent his own heart racing. He could feel it pound against ｢Magenta Mountain｣ as he held the hourglass close to his chest. Still, there was no time to rest.
Finally, the two of them found the source of the noise. A dark, dingy dancefloor. It stunk of sweat and mildew, and the dancing bodies seemed to twist in the low light. Even as the two entered, splattered in blood, no one took notice. They were too caught up in dance, alcohol, god knows what else. In this moment of respite, Reese turned to Emile. Her gaze was as vacant as his own, she seemed to look right past him.
“Hey, focus.” Impatience had made his voice sharp. There wasn’t time for niceties, not for her. Emile’s eyes readjusted, finding him. In the dark, he could not see that was shone in her expression wasn’t malice, but fear.
“What the hell was that!?” he pressed. She shrunk away in turn.
“...I had to get out.”
“I know that,” Reese frowned, “We’re in the same boat. But that’s not an excuse- I could have helped! You didn’t have to-”
“I have to get out,” Emile continued. Her gaze went past him yet again. Her body shuddered. “Please, please just let me out. I’ll do anything, anything you want, I can’t stand this hell- just let me out!”
“I…” Reese swallowed, hugging his Stand tight. “What?”
His mind reeled, trying to process his next steps. This woman was unstable, that was clear. Unstable, violent, dangerous—not just to others, but herself. If Reese allowed her to simply leave, without understanding what was happening, who knew how many would suffer? Yet, the crowd shifted in strange ways, the beat becoming frantic, the music growing warped and mutilated. Should he stop the woman? Should he protect her from these maddening halls? What should he do? What should he do?
The moment Reese looked up, trying to make a call–Emile was gone. She had vanished deep into the crowd, following that horrid, golden voice. The music reminded Reese of the howl of coyotes in the night. The raucous celebrations of beasts who found their meal.
Against his beating heart, he felt ｢Magenta Mountain｣. Inside those grains lay the vast expanse of evolution, and its uniting link: the will to survive at any cost. His beasts had all failed, each one had faced death, and lost. At this moment, Reese understood them. He knew what it was to be a cornered animal. He would deal with the moral quandaries of man once he escaped. But first, he had to escape. The grains of sand were slipping through the hourglass. He knew he would not die like all those beasts that came before him. He would escape. He would survive. He had to.
Nothing else mattered.
Lost in the crowd, he and Emile reached that same conclusion.
Nothing else mattered.
Open the Game.
Location: Club Naraka, with the players currently on the second basement floor. Throughout the stage, the brown sections of the map are doors, furniture, lockers, crates, and whatever makes sense for the location. The players may interpret the map to read furniture as what would make sense for the location and may find any items that would be reasonable to find in that area of a club; if these ever would conflict in strategies, treat both readings as, somehow, correct.
Green circles are guards, each of which have 333 physicals, Guard: 3, and Basic Weapon Use: 3. These are overall competent operatives who aren’t going to be utterly trivial to get past, and each is armed with a handgun loaded with 9mm bullets and a baton.
The 2nd basement floor has MARKOV on one side in the bar, and Reese on the other in the boiler room. A few guards are already on the map; neither has immediate line of sight on either player.
North of MARKOV is a storage closet, which opens into a bathroom. North of this is the backrooms of the club, with the currently full dance floor in the middle. North of the boiler rooms is the security guard room, and at the far northeast of the map is the office of the club’s owner, filled with various trophies.
Of note for Reese, there are a few dead rats (purple triangles) in the boiler room, and a piece of coral (purple circle) in the office. This chunk of coral is 8 kg, and when reanimated by ｢Magenta Mountain｣ forms as a sort of hemisphere 2m across and 1.5m high.
The 1st basement floor is mostly for club business, with speakers and various technical material spread around. Of note, the many, many guards on the south of the first level will, if the players choose not to fight through the closest stairways, slowly fill into the lowest level, chasing the players. In essence, there will be significantly less guards around the stairs to the ground floor if the players take the longer path.
Finally, the Ground Floor is an open warehouse space with no traditional obstacles- as everything in this room is currently floating airborne, with a gloating Sulka armed with a fire extinguisher acting as the final obstacle. Between Sulka’s mobility, their guards acting as easier targets, and the needs of the match, they may not be RETIRED, but attacks launched at them will temporarily distract them and force them to block or avoid them. Otherwise, Sulka will alternate between launching single massive crates and flurries of small objects at the players as they fight their way through the ground floor, up to the doors at the north.
Goal: Fight your way out of Club Naraka! In particular, leave the club in better shape than your opponent.
While combat is allowed and expected, for the most part guards won’t leave too far from their base location; they can be snuck past. The winner of the match is who gets out of the club in the overall best condition.
Combat between players with the intent or foreseeable result of RETIREMENT is not recommended, though other types of interference are.
Additional Information: MARKOV’s current user is Emile Gulati, who has 233 physicals and 3 Bartending; Bartending gives Emile a thorough understanding of the layout of the club as well as preternatural skill in being able to throw around glass bottles or other similarly hefty items.
As for other NPCs besides the guards, the clubgoers have 222 physicals, Ignoring Any Chaos Around Them 5, and Mostly Irrelevant To The Match 4. Essentially they can act as a sort of cover in the dance floor, but besides hiding among them, don’t worry about anyone besides guards too much.

Team	Combatant	JoJolity
Gallery of Wayward Reverie	Markov	“Come on, what are you doing anyway? Calm down—got up on the wrong side of the bed or something?” Use a variety of tools, items, and tactics during your escape!
I.M.P.A.C.T.	Reese McGuffin	“What I have to do is look for the bone using my strings…” Use a variety of tools, items, and tactics during your escape!

Link to Official Player Spreadsheet
Link to Match Schedule
As always, if you would like to interact with the tournament community and be among the first to get updates for the tournament, please feel free to PM a member of our Judge staff for an invite to our Official Discord Server!

Timestanp
Thinning the collection since I had to move to something more expensive and Im satisfied with my display pieces.
I also received 2 Sealed copies of Warhammer: 40k Darktide for the Xbox Series S that were incorrectly shipped to me, and I was unable to return them, so if you'd like one with your purchase feel free to take it.
Willing to trade for:
GMK Pacific base
GMK Matsu Base
TGR 910 ME Suave Blue
Selling

Boards	notes	Price
Aeroboard70 Black/Gold	1.6mm non-flex cut pcb, Cf plate non flex cut. Flawless condition. Will come with original box, foams, pcb tape, and both sets of gaskets. Little to no use, just ended up collecting dust on display.	$500 Shipped
Focus Fk-2001	Originally released in 1988. 102 Asian layout. White alps. Rescued from a bestbuy recycling bin. Restored and fully cleaned inside and out. Top case has a broken latch so front seam is slightly larger than normal. Sadly missing f2 and numlock keycaps, but is using the original rgb mods. Also has original tinted dust cover hinges, sadly no dust cover.	$70 Shipped

Keycaps	notes	Price
KAT Great wave spacebars	Sealed	$20
KAT Great Wave Hiragana Sub alphas	Sealed	$55 Shipped
KAT Great Wave Icon mods	Sealed	$60 Shipped
GMK Godspeed Columbia Base/SpacebaNovelties	Used a few times, no shine	$115 Shipped, ships in bags
Knockoff Midnight Rainbow	Mounted a couple times	$20 Shipped
Random beige/black/red 65% pbt kit		$5
MT3 Noctua Spacebars	Unopened	$10
XDA Honey	Will ship in bags	$10

Switches	notes	Price
Halot1s x88	Durock T1 Spring and Stem in Drop Halo true housings	$45 Shipped
Grab bag x1	Around 30 different switches, some cheap and common, some fancier ones.	$10 or can include in purchases over $100
Kailh Box Reds x90		$5
Kailh Box Browns x67		$5
Kailh Browns x67		$5

Finally got around sharing our wonderful experience in Kansai (1 Apr 2024 - 10 Apr 2024). We are a family of 4 from Perth, Australia (1 x Toddler turning 4 end of this month and 1 x Infant about 18 months old) joined by my MIL from Malaysia. It was our first time trip to Japan but the second time flying 6 hours long with 2 kids. We chose to travel during this period as it was during Easter holidays and also the most favourable weather for our kids. As we have 4 separate accommodations booked over 9 days, we try to travel as light as possible: 2 x large suitcase, 1 x medium suitcase, 2 x medium bags, 1 x bag pack, 1 x dedicated bag for infant carrier and kids' jumpers + 1 stroller. Our kids still take nap(s) during the day and our plan was having the toddler sleep on the stroller and the infant in the carrier or the stroller if toddler is not using.
After extensive research (mostly from this sub) we still found the first few days to be quite hectic and wish we know some of the things beforehand (listed below the itinerary). I hope this post can help young families who are considering travelling to Japan with kids or those who have travelled to Japan before kids came to the picture to do it again with confidence.

9 Day Itinerary (1 Apr 2024 - 10 Apr 2024)

Day 1 Osaka: Namba (Monday)
Our flight from KUL arrived KIX around 10am and boarded the Nankai Rapid (bought 1 month prior online) to Shin-Imamiya station after getting our luggage. We originally planned to take a taxi from there but failed to find any taxi for 20 mins so we end up walking to our accommodation as the kids were tired of waiting. After offloading our luggage we manage to hail a taxi and head to Namba Parks to rest and unwind. Had a refreshing lunch at Yasaiya Mei (mains + all you can eat side dishes including veg tempura) and went to explore the rooftop parks garden before putting the kids to nap. After the kids woke up we took a taxi back to check in officially. Everyone was quite tired thus we opted to stay in and get dinner from Life supermarket nearby. This was probably the most enjoyable part of the day for the kids wandering around a foreign supermarket as we bought dinner and some light snacks. After putting the kids to bed, we did some laundry and packed our 1st luggage to send away.
Day 2 Osaka: Tennoji (Tuesday)
While everyone was getting ready, I went to the nearby 7-Eleven to forward our 1st luggage to the 4th accommodation via Yamato transport. The shop attendant was helpful and guided me through the process as we communicated via deepL. We walked to the Lawson's at JR Imamiya to get brekkky before taking the Osaka loop Line to JR tennoji. We took quite a while to navigate towards Tennoji Zoo from JR Tennoji but eventually got there after a 15 min detour. It was quite crowded for a Tuesday morning but the kids get to roam around the Tenshiba garden while I queue up for tickets (500 yen per adult). One of the kids fell asleep in the zoo so we decided to just grab food to go at the supermarket outside the zoo for lunch. We then head towards Abeno Q's mall to shop and put the other kid to sleep. There was quite a lot of hot food along the way and we manage to grab some for the kids to snack on after their nap (butaman from Horai 555, mochi donut from Mister Donut, taiyaki etc). There's a fantastic area for kids to play (kid, play, study) at the ground floor with different sensory setup and soft blocks for stacking/ balancing. I spent close to 2 hours there with 2 kids while my wife and MIL went shopping. After that we had dinner at Grand Capital Toyoutei at the Kintetsu mall dining floor before heading to our final activity of the day: Abeno Harukas 300. Tickets were a bit steep (2000 yen per adult) but we end up staying there for quite a bit and the experience was pretty unique even though we missed the sunset timing. The elevator ride to the top though short left quite an impression. The kids enjoyed running around at the sky garden 2 floors below as we rest and enjoy the night view of the city from about 300m above ground. The journey back to our accommodation was pretty straightforward and the kids got knocked out when we got home. All in all Tennoji was a pleasantly great experience and we have a better understanding about JR station layout and navigating underground.
Day 3 Osaka - Kyoto (Wednesday)
This was a rather hectic day as it rained quite a bit and we struggled to get a taxi after checking out, getting turned down by several taxis with "空车". We eventually found one to bring us to JR Osaka station. Navigating at the station wasn't too difficult after yesterday but there were long queues when we arrived at 10am and I made the fatal mistake of leaving my physical credit card back in Perth and spent 45mins trying to redeem limited express tickets I reserved online. The JR staff were friendly and tried their best to help but they can only recommend me cancelling my initial reservation and buying new tickets (cancellation fee was about 2300 yen for 3 adults). As soon as we got our tickets we sprinted to the underground gate about 15 mins walk away. I even carried the stroller and kids through an escalator as we didn't want to waste time finding a lift and risk missing the train. We managed to board the limited express train on time and arrived at JR Kyoto which was even more crowded and larger than most international airports. The kids were quite cranky by now as it has been all rush and long waits since they woke up. I split up with my family with 2 luggage that we initially planned to forward to our Arashiyama accommodation via Sagawa. However I was told same day delivery service is only applicable to limited hotels so I stored the luggage at 2 coin lockers and then head to the Kintetsu line ticket counter to redeem the Kyoto-Nara and Nara-Osaka limited express tickets which fortunately doesn't require my credit card details (just reservation number). By the time I reunite with my family it was still raining and both kids fell asleep so we ditched the plan for Kyoto railway museum and instead went browsing for lunch at Porta and Isetan dining floor. We eventually queued to eat at Ejuan for about 25 minutes while one of the kid was still asleep. The wait was worthwhile as the grilled miso black cod was exceptional as was the kids' grilled chicken. Next we went to the skywalk at level 9 briefly before my family went to the toy section at Isetan while I retrieve our luggage from the coin lockers. We board the Saga line bound for Saga-Arashiyama and rested awhile at the accommodation before heading out for dinner after the rain stopped. We walked to Kijurou and fortunately they have space for us provided we order a main meal per adult. The yakiniku and Wagyu rib loin bowls were pretty good but we find the Hitsumabushi set a bit gimmicky. After dinner we stopped by Kimono Forest on our way back and this was probably the highlight of the kids day.
Day 4 Kyoto: Arashiyama (Thursday)
Had Lawson's for brekky before heading out to Kimono Rental Amuya to hired kimonos for my wife and toddler including hairstyling. The shop was actually a house with the living area turned into a studio and only the owner working by herself so we waited for about half an hour before walking towards the Bamboo Forest and Tenryu-ji gardens (500 yen entry from the north gate but well worth it for the blooming sakura and picturesque lake). It was crowded as expected and everyone was moving slowly so it took us about an hour to complete the loop back to the main tourist strip. We then had Udon for lunch at Ozuru, the chewy noodles were complemented by the broth which was a lot more flavourful than the kitsune Udon we are accustomed to back in Perth. After lunch we head home to put the kids to nap before venturing out in the evening towards Togetsukyo Bridge overlooking the pristine Katsura river flowing gracefully from Mt Arashi in the backdrop. The view was breathtaking and we crossed over to Arashiyama park where the kids had a great time running around free range. As the sun was setting, we head back to the town centre, took a novelty Randen ride and grab some food (Naruse's Unagi, Upit's Burger) en route to our accommodation to eat in before calling it a day.
Day 5 Kyoto (Friday)
After checking out we took the Saga line to JR Kyoto station and forwarded the medium sized luggage to the 4th accommodation in Osaka using Crosta. We then did some light shopping at Yodabashi Camera Kyoto as my MIL shoes had kick the bucket and we needed a replacement. Manage to sneak in the only ramen meal of the trip at Ramen Chabuton located upstairs. It was a fairly small shop but we were lucky to get a table just before the Friday lunch rush hour and our ramen cravings were thoroughly satiated. We put the kids down for a quick nap as we make our way back to JR Kyoto to take the Saga line towards Kyoto railway museum. This is an underrated attraction with so much to do and we could have spent the whole day here if I knew they had coin lockers. There were many interactive and educational displays relating to train components in addition to multiple play areas upstairs as well as an outdoor playground! There's also a mockup ticket gate for kids to learn how to purchase a ticket and pass through the gate. Our kids loved the ball pit, toy train area and large train simulator. We couldn't squeeze enough time to explore the 3rd floor or watch the diorama presentation or board the Steam Locomotive as it was getting late. We took a taxi to check-in at Kamoya Ryokan before taking the bus to Nishiki Market for dinner. It's about 6pm and most of the shops were shutting and the remaining ones that are open had queues building up quickly. We ended up waiting 30 mins to eat sushi at Sushi Say. There's a limited range of cooked food including skewers which we got for our kids while we share a nigiri platter and sashimi. After dinner we went to the basement of Daimaru Kyoto across the road to get some baked goods for brekky before taking the taxi home to crash.
Day 6 Kyoto (Saturday)
My MIL wanted to take it easy and explore the area at her own pace so we had a more spontaneous day. After brekky, we took the bus to Yasaka Shrine and started our trek towards Heian Jingu, stopping along the way to enjoy the blossoming park and munching on food from street vendors. We paid to enter the shrine garden (600 yen per adult) which was very worth it for a 30 minute stroll and escape from the bustling crowd outside. We grab some food to eat from the street vendors as one of the kid slept and then head to the playground across the road (Wagener Square) and spent a good 30 minutes there even though it was a bit basic (Perth is blessed with many great playgrounds). Once both kids are feeling refreshed we felt adventurous and took the bus to attempt the hike up Kiyomizu-dera. Since its a Saturday, the Sannenzaka path was packed with phenomenal crowds with the occasional car coming through and splitting the crowd apart. I carried the infant to sleep while my wife push our toddler on the stroller as we slowly make our way up, stopping by for a nice matcha latte and softserve at Here cafe to recharge. We eventually reached the base of the temple after 30 minutes and decided against entering due to the massive crowds (& stairs!). On the way down we reached the fork that branches into Ninenzaka and thought we try giving it a go. There were a lot more stairs over this side and we had to carry the stroller through the steps while waiting for the crowd to advance before us. As physically draining as it was, we felt a sense of achievement as we manage to snap a photo with the iconic Hokanji temple. We took the bus home after that and had an enjoyable dinner at Okonomiyaki Yoshino next door before an early night to recover.
Day 7 Kyoto - Nara - Osaka (Sunday)
We had some leftover food for brekky before checking out and heading to JR Kyoto via taxi. We head to the Kintetsu line and boarded the Vistacar limited express train to Nara. I've booked for the private room down stairs which was pretty spacious for the 5 of us and our luggage. After arriving at Kintetsu-Nara station, we took the 100 yen tourist bus to the famous Nara Deer Park and started exploring the area. There were plenty of deer roaming throughout/ resting on the ground and several vendors at the entrance selling deer crackers. After the kids were done feeding 2 sets of crackers, we head to Mizuya Chaya for lunch. There were limited seating so we sat by the side and ate with the bowl in our hands while feeding the kids. Probably the best Udon we had in our lives (level above Ozuru in Arashiyama and Hifumiya in Perth). Time for a nap so we put the kids down while making our way to have a closer look at Todaiji temple as there were too many stairs to Kasuga-taisha and we have yet to recover. We had our first Cremia here and it was amazing. After the kids woke up we took the bus back to Kintetsu-Nara station and explored the nearby street while waiting for our train. We then boarded the HINOTORI limited express bound for Osaka. While walking towards the hotel to check in, we were passing by Dotombori and opted to have a quick dinner and call it a day rather than coming out again after checking in and offloading our luggage. We ended up having curry at Hariju Dotombori Curry shop which taste d like a homely nourishing meal. After dinner we took the taxi to the hotel and fortunately our 2 other luggage that we forwarded days before are waiting for us to collect. Did some repacking and also laundry at a nearby laundromat before sleep.
Day 8 Osaka: Osaka Bay Area (Monday)
Started the day with brekky at MOS Burger just outside our hotel before taking the metro train to Osaka Bay Area. There were plenty to see as we approach the Kaiyukan, large LEGO animal displays, the large ferris wheel and Disney characters. The ticketing and entry time is staggered which is a good idea to control the amount of crowds going in and out. I started queueing at 1035am and got entry for 11am which was fair (opted not to book timeslot online as it can be unpredictable with kids and public transit) but we didn't felt like its a long wait as the kids were running around and enjoying the ocean view. The entry also have a photographer stationed to take a family polaroid with a whale shark replica for FREE. We were impressed with the aquarium's efficient layout where some prominent displays (Whale Shark, Seals etc) span across multiple floors so you can still enjoy them later on if you missed it earlier due to the crowds. Apart from sea creatures there are also Arctic mammals and birds (Puffins) from all over the world. The kids were over stimulated by lunch time so we head to the food court at Tempozan Market Place to refuel. After lunch we took the kids for a ferris wheel ride before putting both to sleep while we make our way to Shinsaibashisuji Shopping Street via metro line. As the kids were still asleep, I rested at Daimaru with my MIL while my wife went shopping. This turn out to be a fantastic place with a floor dedicated for kids (Pokemon centre, Pokemon cafe, BorneLund mini play area with many display toys available for sampling). The kids spent the rest of the day here after they woke up and we had dinner at the dining floor. There were queues everywhere and we chose to wait at Aozora Blue as they offer udon made with a higher wheat ratio here. Regrettably the kids didn't enjoy as much and prefer regular ones that we are used to. After dinner we took away cheescake from Rikuro for dessert back at our hotel. I made sure to online check in our flights before I go to bed.
Day 9 Osaka: Dotombori (Tuesday)
Our final day in Japan and we chose to do some shopping and take it easy. Tried Doutor Coffee for brekky (took a while to find as it was underground) before walking to Don Quijote at Dotombori. There's 6 floors crammed with various items: snacks, electronics, clothing, non prescription medication, toys, collectibles as well as a functional ferris wheel (operates after 2pm). That being said the kids got bored after awhile and didn't really enjoy much as there wasn't much space to move around. I brought them out to stroll around the Ebisu-bashi Bridge while my wife and MIL continue their haul. It was certainly a sight to behold: countless amount of large LCD screens with surround sound on full blast from every high rise building, street buskers vying for attention from crowds that were constantly on the move, tourists taking selfies in front of the iconic Glicoman. Sadly it started to drizzle so I quickly entered the Shinsaibashisuji Shopping Street undercover area and look for a place to have lunch. I stumbled across a Yoshinoya & Hanamaru joint food hall which was bustling with both locals and foreigners. You have to order and get your food from the counter before you can occupy a table so I waited for my wife and MIL to arrive before we start queueing up. We had the gyudon and beef Udon with onsen egg along with chicken karaage and tempura. There's also a condiment station with toppings to complement your udon as well as free tea and water. Everything was very affordable and best of all we didn't had to wait long. After lunch my wife continuing shopping while we head to Daimaru for the kids to have a nap and play afterwards. I noticed there's a bridge that connects each floor to the Parco next door and discovered a unique floor full of pop culture themed stores including a studio Ghibli store featuring Totoro and No-Face displays, a 2 ft tall Godzilla, Ultraman, Capcom superstore, Sanrio (Hello Kitty), Snoopy, Rilakkuma and also a LEGO store. The kids had a great time browsing and also playing with LEGO before my wife reunites with us. As it's nearing dinner time, I thought we try our luck getting a table at Ganko Dotombori and make our way towards Ebisu-bashi Bridge. The view here is even more spectacular at night with the contrasting lights as well as numerous LCD displays illuminating the area. Unfortunately there's a lengthy wait at Ganko and our party voted for street food instead which turn out surprising well. Kids devoured a dozen gyozas while we had takoyaki, kobe beef nigiri, yakitori and yakiniku skewers as we strolled along the street. It was still early so we made a detour towards Hozenji before walking back the hotel. Then we stumbled upon an arcade (Amuse Factory AXE) which naturally drawn the kids in, we got popcorn from a vending machine there and it was enough to keep the kids happy on our trek back. Before taking our last sleep in Japan, we organized our luggage and get them ready for check out the next day.
Day 10 Osaka: Sayonara (Wednesday)
Checked out of the hotel and took a private airport taxi to KIX. Had brekky at McD and Lawsons and surprised to find that the food here costs the same as outside (e.g. McD/ Hungry Jacks at Malaysian/ Australian airports cost more than the metro/ suburban outlets). Boarded the flight and bid Japan farewell for now while soaking in the surreal time we had.
List of accommodations for 3 adults and 1 child + 1 infant/ toddler
1. Orange House 701 (22,500 yen for 2 nights) 10/10
Location is not bad in a quiet area South of the bustling Dotombori area with Konbinis and JR Imamiya within walking distance. Washing machine, shower and stove took some time to figure out and my kid accidentally turned on the stove but luckily there's a safety button. Overall a brilliant accommodation at an affordable price and will consider returning if we come back to Osaka with kids.
2. Arashiyama bamboo guest house (55,650 yen for 2 nights + 1200 yen tax) 8/10
Prime location 1 min away from JR station, Lawson and walking distances to the local tourist strip, Bamboo Grove, Tenryu-ji and Togetsukyo Bridge. However the room is located on the 3rd floor with no lift so it can be a challenge for kids and older folk. The owner was kind enough to carry our 2 X 20kg luggage up and speaks a little English. The stay was rather comfortable even with futons to sleep on while my MIL slept on one of the single beds. We are unlikely returning to Arashiyama but would recommend this place if it suits your budget.
3. Kamoya Ryokan (35,400 yen for 2 nights + 2000 yen tax) 7.5/10
Not as central as the other accommodations but still within 10 mins walking distance to JR and bus lines. This is a shared accommodation so fridge, microwave and hot/ cold water is in the common area but we have a private bathroom to use. There are no beds so we all slept side by side on futons in the same room. For some reason kids are also taxed to stay a night here (200 yen) but the host was super friendly, spoke a bit of basic English and helped us with ordering a taxi when we checked out. For the price this is not a bad place for short term stay if cosleeping on futons together as a family is acceptable. Bonus: the okonomiyaki place next door is quite good albeit requiring a bit more effort to communicate but is worth it as plenty of locals seem to frequent there and our kids love the yakisoba.
4. Best Western Hotel Fino Osaka Shinsaibashi (40,450 yen for 3 nights) 8/10
Functional hotel relatively close to Shinsaibashi shopping street and Dotombori. 1 min walk away from Osaka metro station and 7 Eleven. There's also a 24 hour laundromat 5 mins walk away. Facilities are bare minimal but gets the job done as we only needed the place to crash and freshen up since there's a lot of shopping and remaining sightseeing to be done. All reception staff spoke English well and check in/ out was rather smooth. I would consider staying again if the rooms were larger but can't complain at this price point and location.
List of eateries we consider returning

• Yasaiya Mei
• Ejuan
• Kijurou
• Ozuru
• Upit's Burger
• Ramen Chabuton
• Okonomiyaki Yoshino
• Mizuya Chaya
• Yoshinoya & Hanamaru

Highlight of each day for the kids

1. Wandering around Life supermarket and exploring a new accommodation
2. Running around 300m above ground at the Abeno Harukas sky garden while having fruits/ snacks in between
3. Visiting Kimono Forest after dinner, watching the randen pass by at the crossing
4. Running around at Arashiyama park and watching the majestic Katsura river flowing rapidly
5. The outdoor playground at Kyoto railway museum among many other fun things there
6. The playground at Wagener Square across Heian Jingu
7. Interacting with deer and eating udon outdoors
8. Seeing different sea animals up close and ferris wheel ride after
9. Making friends at BorneLund and having imaginary play together despite the language barrier

Lessons learned (not in chronological order)

General tips

• We prepared about 160,000 yen cash before arriving at Japan but also have money via 1 x transfer wise debit card (digital), 1 x Westpac credit card (digital), 1 x ING debit card (physical). We ended up withdrawing a further 200,000 yen worth of cash. We opted not to bring any AUD as the rate is quite poor in Japan since most would prefer foreign exchangers would prefer USD.
• We didn't get to use our digital cards as most places in Kansai (Kanto might be different) that offer card payments still requires a physical card to read the chip.
• Please remember to bring the physical card of the credit card used for any online booking to avoid the stress I endured on day 3.
• We booked all the transit tickets online about a month prior and find it worthwhile rather than spending 15 - 30 mins in queue at the ticket counters. The limited express tickets go crazy fast and I recommend booking them the hour they become available (1 month prior your transit date and as soon as it is open in Japan time).
• We booked all 4 accommodations via booking.com and find the messenger via the app very handy in liaising with the owne receptionist on whether we can offload our luggage earlier or forward our luggage a few days in advance. One of them even told me that I can check in few hours earlier as the room was ready. Regardless of what platform you use, try to communicate with the accommodation prior your arrival if you are considering forwarding luggage or dropping them off before your official check in time.
• Booking multiple accommodations over a short span of time is very tiring as we are needing to worry about getting our luggage from A to B every second day but only able to check in the next place 5 - 6 hours after checking out the previous place (Most checkin starts from 3pm and checkout from 10am). Our transition days are always stressful as we don't get to do much due to the timing while handling multiple baggage so the kids are crankier.
• Rubbish/ garbage cans are mainly found on major train stations or shopping malls as well as konbinis. Most vending machines only have a recycle bin but we have plenty of disposable nappy bags which we use as rubbish bags if needed.
• We had 3 data Sims about 5GB each which was sufficient for the 9 days (navigation, Google translate, WhatsApp voice call). Free wifi is available at most places which we use whenever we need to photo dump on WhatsApp group chats or play YouTube for the kids.
• My eSim stopped working when we arrived at Kyoto from Osaka but luckily I tried rebooting my phone and it connected to the local network after. Another down side of data only Sim is there is no Japanese mobile number which can be handy (make reservations at restaurants or signing up for taxi apps to get taxi).
• We use Google Maps and Japan Travel by NAVITIME App to plan our overall route each day, public transit details is quite clear via Google Maps with several options for different J metro/ bus lines. While Japan Travel App is able to approximate cost of taxi which was useful for comparison.
• For translation, we used DeepL app when we wanted to converse with someone in Japanese and Google Translate for written Japanese translation via the camera.
• In Osaka, getting around via JR and Metro is optimal in terms of time and cost; In Kyoto, buses are more readily available but be prepared to stand shoulder to shoulder as the buses are not big and averages around 30 - 50 people. We recommend a taxi if travelling a short distance (<10 minutes) for a family that can fit into a single car.
• You can forward luggage at your hotel or local 7 eleven via Yamato transport within Osaka.
• The Jikan refreshing legs patch worked well for me but my wife got woken up few times as her feet felt cold due to the cooling effect. We got some heat patches the next day and it worked better for her.
• A few Japanese phrases go along way and perhaps it's why we mostly get friendly responses (arigato gozaimas, ohaiyo, konnichiwa, kore onegaishimas, doitashi mashite, hitotsu onegaishimas, daijorbudes, kodomo).
• The basement level of most department stores/ shopping malls sells a variety of package deserts and often a bakery opened till 8pm where we sometimes go to after dinner to get brekky for the next morning.
• Some malls have an express lift (stops only at 1F and 10F) and it may be quicker to use those in combination with escalators to get to the level you like quickly.
• Coin lockers are found is almost every major attraction and JR station but finding a large one that is available can be challenging so allow extra time. Most coin lockers only take 100 yen coins with the exception of newer ones which also takes IC cards as payment.
• Some food courts have drinkable water for you to refill your bottles but otherwise vending machines and konbinis will quench your hydration needs (the peach drink is pretty addictive).
• Other than Booking.com, Google maps, Google Translate, DeepL and Japan Travel by NAVITIME, we didn't really used the other apps we downloaded before hand but you might find a use for them: Mamamap, NERV, Ecbo cloak, Klook.

Child related tips

• Younger kids take awhile to acclimatize to a foreign environment and our kids were more lethargic than they normally are during the day, sometimes needing 2 naps instead of 1 so be prepared to adjust your plans and skip over some places that were catered specifically for them if needed.
• Google maps only tells you the distance to get you from Point A to Point B horizontally. Unfortunately it doesn't consider the routes involving travelling multiple floors to avoid heavy traffic even with wheelchair access enabled. For instance you can go across Tenshiba Garden from JR Tennoji via the overhead bridge (not ideal as the route is longer with a stroller) or underground (best with a stroller but unfortunately Google Maps doesn't show this route and we stumble across it by chance).
• Google maps navigation over multiple floors is also not very accurate but the local directory maps are very informative so take extra time to study it and find the nearest access (parents room, lift or exit to above ground/ underground).
• The lift (singular as most train station platforms only share one lift unless it's a major one like Osaka/ Kyoto etc), are often located at one end of the platform so allow additional 15 - 20 minutes when travelling with strollers or luggage.
• Most department stores/ shopping malls (Daimaru etc) have a floor suitable for kids with toy samples for playing and sometimes even a free play area (Bornelund).
• Our kids love the Butaman from Horai and we probably purchased from 5 different stores throughout the trip (they are located at almost every major station and department store). Find something that works for your kids that can be found readily (7-11, family mart, Lawson's, daily Yamazaki etc) as back up when they didn't want to eat where you were dining at or if they fell asleep and skipped a meal.
• 100 yen stores (Daiso, 3 coins, Seria, Can*Do, Watts) have plenty of cheap kid activities (e.g. sticker books, puzzles, bubble wand etc) that can entertain them throughout the day/ in restaurants/ in the showe in the accommodation before bed etc.
• Paid Attractions in Kansai that are worthwhile if your kids are under 5 (6 and above may be charged separately): Tennoji Zoo, Abeno Harukas 300, Kyoto Railway Museum, Osaka Kaiyukan, Tempozan Ferris Wheel.
• Other brekky alternatives that we liked apart from konbinis/ bakeries were MOS burgers and Doutor coffee. Gyudons (sukiya, matsuya, yoshinoya) morning menu was a bit too heavy for our kids and other options we would have tried were too far from where we stayed (Tully's, McDonalds, KoHiKan).
• Some places require you order a main meal per adult but we are small eaters so we make sure what we ordered was something our kids might eat (not spicy etc).
• Tabelog is useful to tell you the size of the restaurant and we avoided anywhere that seats less than 20 people to save time.
• We tried to eat at a restaurant for lunch and dinner the first few days but actually realize the kids enjoy munching on small eats from konbinis/ street vendors more than a casual sit down meal so we were a bit more spontaneous the second half of the trip.
• Watch out for deer poo at Nara especially when pushing your stroller! Most of the deer are quite friendly and let you pet them but don't touch their tail area as they can get defensive. If your kids are feeding away the crackers too quickly, break them in half so you have more 'ammunition'.
• Metro and JR Trains (including limited express ones) stop for less than 10 seconds. Please remember to unlock your stroller when you are approaching your next stop and prepare to jump out.

Finally got around sharing our wonderful experience in Kansai (1 Apr 2024 - 10 Apr 2024). We are a family of 4 from Perth, Australia (1 x Toddler turning 4 end of this month and 1 x Infant about 18 months old) joined by my MIL from Malaysia. It was our first time trip to Japan but the second time flying 6 hours long with 2 kids. We chose to travel during this period as it was during Easter holidays and also the most favourable weather for our kids. As we have 4 separate accommodations booked over 9 days, we try to travel as light as possible: 2 x large suitcase, 1 x medium suitcase, 2 x medium bags, 1 x bag pack, 1 x dedicated bag for infant carrier and kids' jumpers + 1 stroller. Our kids still take nap(s) during the day and our plan was having the toddler sleep on the stroller and the infant in the carrier or the stroller if toddler is not using.
After extensive research (mostly from this sub) we still found the first few days to be quite hectic and wish we know some of the things beforehand (listed below the itinerary). I hope this post can help young families who are considering travelling to Japan with kids or those who have travelled to Japan before kids came to the picture to do it again with confidence.

9 Day Itinerary (1 Apr 2024 - 10 Apr 2024)

Day 1 Osaka: Namba (Monday)
Our flight from KUL arrived KIX around 10am and boarded the Nankai Rapid (bought 1 month prior online) to Shin-Imamiya station after getting our luggage. We originally planned to take a taxi from there but failed to find any taxi for 20 mins so we end up walking to our accommodation as the kids were tired of waiting. After offloading our luggage we manage to hail a taxi and head to Namba Parks to rest and unwind. Had a refreshing lunch at Yasaiya Mei (mains + all you can eat side dishes including veg tempura) and went to explore the rooftop parks garden before putting the kids to nap. After the kids woke up we took a taxi back to check in officially. Everyone was quite tired thus we opted to stay in and get dinner from Life supermarket nearby. This was probably the most enjoyable part of the day for the kids wandering around a foreign supermarket as we bought dinner and some light snacks. After putting the kids to bed, we did some laundry and packed our 1st luggage to send away.
Day 2 Osaka: Tennoji (Tuesday)
While everyone was getting ready, I went to the nearby 7-Eleven to forward our 1st luggage to the 4th accommodation via Yamato transport. The shop attendant was helpful and guided me through the process as we communicated via deepL. We walked to the Lawson's at JR Imamiya to get brekkky before taking the Osaka loop Line to JR tennoji. We took quite a while to navigate towards Tennoji Zoo from JR Tennoji but eventually got there after a 15 min detour. It was quite crowded for a Tuesday morning but the kids get to roam around the Tenshiba garden while I queue up for tickets (500 yen per adult). One of the kids fell asleep in the zoo so we decided to just grab food to go at the supermarket outside the zoo for lunch. We then head towards Abeno Q's mall to shop and put the other kid to sleep. There was quite a lot of hot food along the way and we manage to grab some for the kids to snack on after their nap (butaman from Horai 555, mochi donut from Mister Donut, taiyaki etc). There's a fantastic area for kids to play (kid, play, study) at the ground floor with different sensory setup and soft blocks for stacking/ balancing. I spent close to 2 hours there with 2 kids while my wife and MIL went shopping. After that we had dinner at Grand Capital Toyoutei at the Kintetsu mall dining floor before heading to our final activity of the day: Abeno Harukas 300. Tickets were a bit steep (2000 yen per adult) but we end up staying there for quite a bit and the experience was pretty unique even though we missed the sunset timing. The elevator ride to the top though short left quite an impression. The kids enjoyed running around at the sky garden 2 floors below as we rest and enjoy the night view of the city from about 300m above ground. The journey back to our accommodation was pretty straightforward and the kids got knocked out when we got home. All in all Tennoji was a pleasantly great experience and we have a better understanding about JR station layout and navigating underground.
Day 3 Osaka - Kyoto (Wednesday)
This was a rather hectic day as it rained quite a bit and we struggled to get a taxi after checking out, getting turned down by several taxis with "空车". We eventually found one to bring us to JR Osaka station. Navigating at the station wasn't too difficult after yesterday but there were long queues when we arrived at 10am and I made the fatal mistake of leaving my physical credit card back in Perth and spent 45mins trying to redeem limited express tickets I reserved online. The JR staff were friendly and tried their best to help but they can only recommend me cancelling my initial reservation and buying new tickets (cancellation fee was about 2300 yen for 3 adults). As soon as we got our tickets we sprinted to the underground gate about 15 mins walk away. I even carried the stroller and kids through an escalator as we didn't want to waste time finding a lift and risk missing the train. We managed to board the limited express train on time and arrived at JR Kyoto which was even more crowded and larger than most international airports. The kids were quite cranky by now as it has been all rush and long waits since they woke up. I split up with my family with 2 luggage that we initially planned to forward to our Arashiyama accommodation via Sagawa. However I was told same day delivery service is only applicable to limited hotels so I stored the luggage at 2 coin lockers and then head to the Kintetsu line ticket counter to redeem the Kyoto-Nara and Nara-Osaka limited express tickets which fortunately doesn't require my credit card details (just reservation number). By the time I reunite with my family it was still raining and both kids fell asleep so we ditched the plan for Kyoto railway museum and instead went browsing for lunch at Porta and Isetan dining floor. We eventually queued to eat at Ejuan for about 25 minutes while one of the kid was still asleep. The wait was worthwhile as the grilled miso black cod was exceptional as was the kids' grilled chicken. Next we went to the skywalk at level 9 briefly before my family went to the toy section at Isetan while I retrieve our luggage from the coin lockers. We board the Saga line bound for Saga-Arashiyama and rested awhile at the accommodation before heading out for dinner after the rain stopped. We walked to Kijurou and fortunately they have space for us provided we order a main meal per adult. The yakiniku and Wagyu rib loin bowls were pretty good but we find the Hitsumabushi set a bit gimmicky. After dinner we stopped by Kimono Forest on our way back and this was probably the highlight of the kids day.
Day 4 Kyoto: Arashiyama (Thursday)
Had Lawson's for brekky before heading out to Kimono Rental Amuya to hired kimonos for my wife and toddler including hairstyling. The shop was actually a house with the living area turned into a studio and only the owner working by herself so we waited for about half an hour before walking towards the Bamboo Forest and Tenryu-ji gardens (500 yen entry from the north gate but well worth it for the blooming sakura and picturesque lake). It was crowded as expected and everyone was moving slowly so it took us about an hour to complete the loop back to the main tourist strip. We then had Udon for lunch at Ozuru, the chewy noodles were complemented by the broth which was a lot more flavourful than the kitsune Udon we are accustomed to back in Perth. After lunch we head home to put the kids to nap before venturing out in the evening towards Togetsukyo Bridge overlooking the pristine Katsura river flowing gracefully from Mt Arashi in the backdrop. The view was breathtaking and we crossed over to Arashiyama park where the kids had a great time running around free range. As the sun was setting, we head back to the town centre, took a novelty Randen ride and grab some food (Naruse's Unagi, Upit's Burger) en route to our accommodation to eat in before calling it a day.
Day 5 Kyoto (Friday)
After checking out we took the Saga line to JR Kyoto station and forwarded the medium sized luggage to the 4th accommodation in Osaka using Crosta. We then did some light shopping at Yodabashi Camera Kyoto as my MIL shoes had kick the bucket and we needed a replacement. Manage to sneak in the only ramen meal of the trip at Ramen Chabuton located upstairs. It was a fairly small shop but we were lucky to get a table just before the Friday lunch rush hour and our ramen cravings were thoroughly satiated. We put the kids down for a quick nap as we make our way back to JR Kyoto to take the Saga line towards Kyoto railway museum. This is an underrated attraction with so much to do and we could have spent the whole day here if I knew they had coin lockers. There were many interactive and educational displays relating to train components in addition to multiple play areas upstairs as well as an outdoor playground! There's also a mockup ticket gate for kids to learn how to purchase a ticket and pass through the gate. Our kids loved the ball pit, toy train area and large train simulator. We couldn't squeeze enough time to explore the 3rd floor or watch the diorama presentation or board the Steam Locomotive as it was getting late. We took a taxi to check-in at Kamoya Ryokan before taking the bus to Nishiki Market for dinner. It's about 6pm and most of the shops were shutting and the remaining ones that are open had queues building up quickly. We ended up waiting 30 mins to eat sushi at Sushi Say. There's a limited range of cooked food including skewers which we got for our kids while we share a nigiri platter and sashimi. After dinner we went to the basement of Daimaru Kyoto across the road to get some baked goods for brekky before taking the taxi home to crash.
Day 6 Kyoto (Saturday)
My MIL wanted to take it easy and explore the area at her own pace so we had a more spontaneous day. After brekky, we took the bus to Yasaka Shrine and started our trek towards Heian Jingu, stopping along the way to enjoy the blossoming park and munching on food from street vendors. We paid to enter the shrine garden (600 yen per adult) which was very worth it for a 30 minute stroll and escape from the bustling crowd outside. We grab some food to eat from the street vendors as one of the kid slept and then head to the playground across the road (Wagener Square) and spent a good 30 minutes there even though it was a bit basic (Perth is blessed with many great playgrounds). Once both kids are feeling refreshed we felt adventurous and took the bus to attempt the hike up Kiyomizu-dera. Since its a Saturday, the Sannenzaka path was packed with phenomenal crowds with the occasional car coming through and splitting the crowd apart. I carried the infant to sleep while my wife push our toddler on the stroller as we slowly make our way up, stopping by for a nice matcha latte and softserve at Here cafe to recharge. We eventually reached the base of the temple after 30 minutes and decided against entering due to the massive crowds (& stairs!). On the way down we reached the fork that branches into Ninenzaka and thought we try giving it a go. There were a lot more stairs over this side and we had to carry the stroller through the steps while waiting for the crowd to advance before us. As physically draining as it was, we felt a sense of achievement as we manage to snap a photo with the iconic Hokanji temple. We took the bus home after that and had an enjoyable dinner at Okonomiyaki Yoshino next door before an early night to recover.
Day 7 Kyoto - Nara - Osaka (Sunday)
We had some leftover food for brekky before checking out and heading to JR Kyoto via taxi. We head to the Kintetsu line and boarded the Vistacar limited express train to Nara. I've booked for the private room down stairs which was pretty spacious for the 5 of us and our luggage. After arriving at Kintetsu-Nara station, we took the 100 yen tourist bus to the famous Nara Deer Park and started exploring the area. There were plenty of deer roaming throughout/ resting on the ground and several vendors at the entrance selling deer crackers. After the kids were done feeding 2 sets of crackers, we head to Mizuya Chaya for lunch. There were limited seating so we sat by the side and ate with the bowl in our hands while feeding the kids. Probably the best Udon we had in our lives (level above Ozuru in Arashiyama and Hifumiya in Perth). Time for a nap so we put the kids down while making our way to have a closer look at Todaiji temple as there were too many stairs to Kasuga-taisha and we have yet to recover. We had our first Cremia here and it was amazing. After the kids woke up we took the bus back to Kintetsu-Nara station and explored the nearby street while waiting for our train. We then boarded the HINOTORI limited express bound for Osaka. While walking towards the hotel to check in, we were passing by Dotombori and opted to have a quick dinner and call it a day rather than coming out again after checking in and offloading our luggage. We ended up having curry at Hariju Dotombori Curry shop which taste d like a homely nourishing meal. After dinner we took the taxi to the hotel and fortunately our 2 other luggage that we forwarded days before are waiting for us to collect. Did some repacking and also laundry at a nearby laundromat before sleep.
Day 8 Osaka: Osaka Bay Area (Monday)
Started the day with brekky at MOS Burger just outside our hotel before taking the metro train to Osaka Bay Area. There were plenty to see as we approach the Kaiyukan, large LEGO animal displays, the large ferris wheel and Disney characters. The ticketing and entry time is staggered which is a good idea to control the amount of crowds going in and out. I started queueing at 1035am and got entry for 11am which was fair (opted not to book timeslot online as it can be unpredictable with kids and public transit) but we didn't felt like its a long wait as the kids were running around and enjoying the ocean view. The entry also have a photographer stationed to take a family polaroid with a whale shark replica for FREE. We were impressed with the aquarium's efficient layout where some prominent displays (Whale Shark, Seals etc) span across multiple floors so you can still enjoy them later on if you missed it earlier due to the crowds. Apart from sea creatures there are also Arctic mammals and birds (Puffins) from all over the world. The kids were over stimulated by lunch time so we head to the food court at Tempozan Market Place to refuel. After lunch we took the kids for a ferris wheel ride before putting both to sleep while we make our way to Shinsaibashisuji Shopping Street via metro line. As the kids were still asleep, I rested at Daimaru with my MIL while my wife went shopping. This turn out to be a fantastic place with a floor dedicated for kids (Pokemon centre, Pokemon cafe, BorneLund mini play area with many display toys available for sampling). The kids spent the rest of the day here after they woke up and we had dinner at the dining floor. There were queues everywhere and we chose to wait at Aozora Blue as they offer udon made with a higher wheat ratio here. Regrettably the kids didn't enjoy as much and prefer regular ones that we are used to. After dinner we took away cheescake from Rikuro for dessert back at our hotel. I made sure to online check in our flights before I go to bed.
Day 9 Osaka: Dotombori (Tuesday)
Our final day in Japan and we chose to do some shopping and take it easy. Tried Doutor Coffee for brekky (took a while to find as it was underground) before walking to Don Quijote at Dotombori. There's 6 floors crammed with various items: snacks, electronics, clothing, non prescription medication, toys, collectibles as well as a functional ferris wheel (operates after 2pm). That being said the kids got bored after awhile and didn't really enjoy much as there wasn't much space to move around. I brought them out to stroll around the Ebisu-bashi Bridge while my wife and MIL continue their haul. It was certainly a sight to behold: countless amount of large LCD screens with surround sound on full blast from every high rise building, street buskers vying for attention from crowds that were constantly on the move, tourists taking selfies in front of the iconic Glicoman. Sadly it started to drizzle so I quickly entered the Shinsaibashisuji Shopping Street undercover area and look for a place to have lunch. I stumbled across a Yoshinoya & Hanamaru joint food hall which was bustling with both locals and foreigners. You have to order and get your food from the counter before you can occupy a table so I waited for my wife and MIL to arrive before we start queueing up. We had the gyudon and beef Udon with onsen egg along with chicken karaage and tempura. There's also a condiment station with toppings to complement your udon as well as free tea and water. Everything was very affordable and best of all we didn't had to wait long. After lunch my wife continuing shopping while we head to Daimaru for the kids to have a nap and play afterwards. I noticed there's a bridge that connects each floor to the Parco next door and discovered a unique floor full of pop culture themed stores including a studio Ghibli store featuring Totoro and No-Face displays, a 2 ft tall Godzilla, Ultraman, Capcom superstore, Sanrio (Hello Kitty), Snoopy, Rilakkuma and also a LEGO store. The kids had a great time browsing and also playing with LEGO before my wife reunites with us. As it's nearing dinner time, I thought we try our luck getting a table at Ganko Dotombori and make our way towards Ebisu-bashi Bridge. The view here is even more spectacular at night with the contrasting lights as well as numerous LCD displays illuminating the area. Unfortunately there's a lengthy wait at Ganko and our party voted for street food instead which turn out surprising well. Kids devoured a dozen gyozas while we had takoyaki, kobe beef nigiri, yakitori and yakiniku skewers as we strolled along the street. It was still early so we made a detour towards Hozenji before walking back the hotel. Then we stumbled upon an arcade (Amuse Factory AXE) which naturally drawn the kids in, we got popcorn from a vending machine there and it was enough to keep the kids happy on our trek back. Before taking our last sleep in Japan, we organized our luggage and get them ready for check out the next day.
Day 10 Osaka: Sayonara (Wednesday)
Checked out of the hotel and took a private airport taxi to KIX. Had brekky at McD and Lawsons and surprised to find that the food here costs the same as outside (e.g. McD/ Hungry Jacks at Malaysian/ Australian airports cost more than the metro/ suburban outlets). Boarded the flight and bid Japan farewell for now while soaking in the surreal time we had.
List of accommodations for 3 adults and 1 child + 1 infant/ toddler
1. Orange House 701 (22,500 yen for 2 nights) 10/10
Location is not bad in a quiet area South of the bustling Dotombori area with Konbinis and JR Imamiya within walking distance. Washing machine, shower and stove took some time to figure out and my kid accidentally turned on the stove but luckily there's a safety button. Overall a brilliant accommodation at an affordable price and will consider returning if we come back to Osaka with kids.
2. Arashiyama bamboo guest house (55,650 yen for 2 nights + 1200 yen tax) 8/10
Prime location 1 min away from JR station, Lawson and walking distances to the local tourist strip, Bamboo Grove, Tenryu-ji and Togetsukyo Bridge. However the room is located on the 3rd floor with no lift so it can be a challenge for kids and older folk. The owner was kind enough to carry our 2 X 20kg luggage up and speaks a little English. The stay was rather comfortable even with futons to sleep on while my MIL slept on one of the single beds. We are unlikely returning to Arashiyama but would recommend this place if it suits your budget.
3. Kamoya Ryokan (35,400 yen for 2 nights + 2000 yen tax) 7.5/10
Not as central as the other accommodations but still within 10 mins walking distance to JR and bus lines. This is a shared accommodation so fridge, microwave and hot/ cold water is in the common area but we have a private bathroom to use. There are no beds so we all slept side by side on futons in the same room. For some reason kids are also taxed to stay a night here (200 yen) but the host was super friendly, spoke a bit of basic English and helped us with ordering a taxi when we checked out. For the price this is not a bad place for short term stay if cosleeping on futons together as a family is acceptable. Bonus: the okonomiyaki place next door is quite good albeit requiring a bit more effort to communicate but is worth it as plenty of locals seem to frequent there and our kids love the yakisoba.
4. Best Western Hotel Fino Osaka Shinsaibashi (40,450 yen for 3 nights) 8/10
Functional hotel relatively close to Shinsaibashi shopping street and Dotombori. 1 min walk away from Osaka metro station and 7 Eleven. There's also a 24 hour laundromat 5 mins walk away. Facilities are bare minimal but gets the job done as we only needed the place to crash and freshen up since there's a lot of shopping and remaining sightseeing to be done. All reception staff spoke English well and check in/ out was rather smooth. I would consider staying again if the rooms were larger but can't complain at this price point and location.
List of eateries we consider returning

• Yasaiya Mei
• Ejuan
• Kijurou
• Ozuru
• Upit's Burger
• Ramen Chabuton
• Okonomiyaki Yoshino
• Mizuya Chaya
• Yoshinoya & Hanamaru

Highlight of each day for the kids

1. Wandering around Life supermarket and exploring a new accommodation
2. Running around 300m above ground at the Abeno Harukas sky garden while having fruits/ snacks in between
3. Visiting Kimono Forest after dinner, watching the randen pass by at the crossing
4. Running around at Arashiyama park and watching the majestic Katsura river flowing rapidly
5. The outdoor playground at Kyoto railway museum among many other fun things there
6. The playground at Wagener Square across Heian Jingu
7. Interacting with deer and eating udon outdoors
8. Seeing different sea animals up close and ferris wheel ride after
9. Making friends at BorneLund and having imaginary play together despite the language barrier

Lessons learned (not in chronological order)

General tips

• We prepared about 160,000 yen cash before arriving at Japan but also have money via 1 x transfer wise debit card (digital), 1 x Westpac credit card (digital), 1 x ING debit card (physical). We ended up withdrawing a further 200,000 yen worth of cash. We opted not to bring any AUD as the rate is quite poor in Japan since most would prefer foreign exchangers would prefer USD.
• We didn't get to use our digital cards as most places in Kansai (Kanto might be different) that offer card payments still requires a physical card to read the chip.
• Please remember to bring the physical card of the credit card used for any online booking to avoid the stress I endured on day 3.
• We booked all the transit tickets online about a month prior and find it worthwhile rather than spending 15 - 30 mins in queue at the ticket counters. The limited express tickets go crazy fast and I recommend booking them the hour they become available (1 month prior your transit date and as soon as it is open in Japan time).
• We booked all 4 accommodations via booking.com and find the messenger via the app very handy in liaising with the owne receptionist on whether we can offload our luggage earlier or forward our luggage a few days in advance. One of them even told me that I can check in few hours earlier as the room was ready. Regardless of what platform you use, try to communicate with the accommodation prior your arrival if you are considering forwarding luggage or dropping them off before your official check in time.
• Booking multiple accommodations over a short span of time is very tiring as we are needing to worry about getting our luggage from A to B every second day but only able to check in the next place 5 - 6 hours after checking out the previous place (Most checkin starts from 3pm and checkout from 10am). Our transition days are always stressful as we don't get to do much due to the timing while handling multiple baggage so the kids are crankier.
• Rubbish/ garbage cans are mainly found on major train stations or shopping malls as well as konbinis. Most vending machines only have a recycle bin but we have plenty of disposable nappy bags which we use as rubbish bags if needed.
• We had 3 data Sims about 5GB each which was sufficient for the 9 days (navigation, Google translate, WhatsApp voice call). Free wifi is available at most places which we use whenever we need to photo dump on WhatsApp group chats or play YouTube for the kids.
• My eSim stopped working when we arrived at Kyoto from Osaka but luckily I tried rebooting my phone and it connected to the local network after. Another down side of data only Sim is there is no Japanese mobile number which can be handy (make reservations at restaurants or signing up for taxi apps to get taxi).
• We use Google Maps and Japan Travel by NAVITIME App to plan our overall route each day, public transit details is quite clear via Google Maps with several options for different J metro/ bus lines. While Japan Travel App is able to approximate cost of taxi which was useful for comparison.
• For translation, we used DeepL app when we wanted to converse with someone in Japanese and Google Translate for written Japanese translation via the camera.
• In Osaka, getting around via JR and Metro is optimal in terms of time and cost; In Kyoto, buses are more readily available but be prepared to stand shoulder to shoulder as the buses are not big and averages around 30 - 50 people. We recommend a taxi if travelling a short distance (<10 minutes) for a family that can fit into a single car.
• You can forward luggage at your hotel or local 7 eleven via Yamato transport within Osaka.
• The Jikan refreshing legs patch worked well for me but my wife got woken up few times as her feet felt cold due to the cooling effect. We got some heat patches the next day and it worked better for her.
• A few Japanese phrases go along way and perhaps it's why we mostly get friendly responses (arigato gozaimas, ohaiyo, konnichiwa, kore onegaishimas, doitashi mashite, hitotsu onegaishimas, daijorbudes, kodomo).
• The basement level of most department stores/ shopping malls sells a variety of package deserts and often a bakery opened till 8pm where we sometimes go to after dinner to get brekky for the next morning.
• Some malls have an express lift (stops only at 1F and 10F) and it may be quicker to use those in combination with escalators to get to the level you like quickly.
• Coin lockers are found is almost every major attraction and JR station but finding a large one that is available can be challenging so allow extra time. Most coin lockers only take 100 yen coins with the exception of newer ones which also takes IC cards as payment.
• Some food courts have drinkable water for you to refill your bottles but otherwise vending machines and konbinis will quench your hydration needs (the peach drink is pretty addictive).
• Other than Booking.com, Google maps, Google Translate, DeepL and Japan Travel by NAVITIME, we didn't really used the other apps we downloaded before hand but you might find a use for them: Mamamap, NERV, Ecbo cloak, Klook.

Child related tips

• Younger kids take awhile to acclimatize to a foreign environment and our kids were more lethargic than they normally are during the day, sometimes needing 2 naps instead of 1 so be prepared to adjust your plans and skip over some places that were catered specifically for them if needed.
• Google maps only tells you the distance to get you from Point A to Point B horizontally. Unfortunately it doesn't consider the routes involving travelling multiple floors to avoid heavy traffic even with wheelchair access enabled. For instance you can go across Tenshiba Garden from JR Tennoji via the overhead bridge (not ideal as the route is longer with a stroller) or underground (best with a stroller but unfortunately Google Maps doesn't show this route and we stumble across it by chance).
• Google maps navigation over multiple floors is also not very accurate but the local directory maps are very informative so take extra time to study it and find the nearest access (parents room, lift or exit to above ground/ underground).
• The lift (singular as most train station platforms only share one lift unless it's a major one like Osaka/ Kyoto etc), are often located at one end of the platform so allow additional 15 - 20 minutes when travelling with strollers or luggage.
• Most department stores/ shopping malls (Daimaru etc) have a floor suitable for kids with toy samples for playing and sometimes even a free play area (Bornelund).
• Our kids love the Butaman from Horai and we probably purchased from 5 different stores throughout the trip (they are located at almost every major station and department store). Find something that works for your kids that can be found readily (7-11, family mart, Lawson's, daily Yamazaki etc) as back up when they didn't want to eat where you were dining at or if they fell asleep and skipped a meal.
• 100 yen stores (Daiso, 3 coins, Seria, Can*Do, Watts) have plenty of cheap kid activities (e.g. sticker books, puzzles, bubble wand etc) that can entertain them throughout the day/ in restaurants/ in the showe in the accommodation before bed etc.
• Paid Attractions in Kansai that are worthwhile if your kids are under 5 (6 and above may be charged separately): Tennoji Zoo, Abeno Harukas 300, Kyoto Railway Museum, Osaka Kaiyukan, Tempozan Ferris Wheel.
• Other brekky alternatives that we liked apart from konbinis/ bakeries were MOS burgers and Doutor coffee. Gyudons (sukiya, matsuya, yoshinoya) morning menu was a bit too heavy for our kids and other options we would have tried were too far from where we stayed (Tully's, McDonalds, KoHiKan).
• Some places require you order a main meal per adult but we are small eaters so we make sure what we ordered was something our kids might eat (not spicy etc).
• Tabelog is useful to tell you the size of the restaurant and we avoided anywhere that seats less than 20 people to save time.
• We tried to eat at a restaurant for lunch and dinner the first few days but actually realize the kids enjoy munching on small eats from konbinis/ street vendors more than a casual sit down meal so we were a bit more spontaneous the second half of the trip.
• Watch out for deer poo at Nara especially when pushing your stroller! Most of the deer are quite friendly and let you pet them but don't touch their tail area as they can get defensive. If your kids are feeding away the crackers too quickly, break them in half so you have more 'ammunition'.
• Metro and JR Trains (including limited express ones) stop for less than 10 seconds. Please remember to unlock your stroller when you are approaching your next stop and prepare to jump out.

First/Previous
On waking, I found I’d undone my jacket and placed it over myself as a makeshift blanket; Mal, glaze-eyed looked on from where she’d posted across from me in the hall—she hadn’t slept. All the hours stolen from me by the jailor in the Golgotha cell seemingly caught up to me and if it had not been for that, I’d likely not slept at all.
“You’re awake,” said Mal.
“How long?” I asked; I pushed myself up from where I’d slumped.
“Few hours.”
“How is it?” I looked at the door.
“No one’s banged on it for a while, so I haven’t let anyone in. The other noises have stopped too, and I think that dragon’s moved on. Maybe? Maybe not—I heard big footfalls. It’s hot as hell though.” The woman shrugged. “Fires, right? It’s all going to be ash when we check topside.”
I peered down the hall, over the bodies which remained in the hall; those able enough dispersed and those that were left were either dead or cared for the dead.
“Everyone was talking about it,” Mal locked eyes onto mine, “You were supposed to hang today. Feel lucky?” A dry chuckle escaped her. “It’s a joke,” she assured me. “Really.”
“I reckon. Maybe I should have. Hung, that is.”
“It’s funny. Only the guards and the bullet-crafters were supposed to be allowed down here. Bosses too, of course. Now it’s all we’ve got. Everyone that’s alive is here now.” She nodded as if to solidify this to herself.
“Family?” I asked her.
Without elaborating, she nodded.
“Here?”
She then stared down the hall, ignoring the question.
“Why don’t you go on to the bunks? You look about dead.”
“Don’t know if I could sleep if I wanted to.” Mal shrugged whatever concern I offered.
Remembering, I found the pipe on the floor by where I’d been and began to pack it with tobacco; I smoked in silence and Mal was right—it was hot as hell. Golgotha was in flames. The smoke was so incredibly faint from the underground, but it was like the smell when sniffing it off clothing. Present. Subtle.
The groups which remained became their own factions and each one gathered food or weapons and everyone pitched in where able. The injured were taken to the bunks off the main hall and treated. Some would still die; others, though non-ambulatory, would surely recover if given the time. Among the faces in the flickering halls were wall men and peasants alike. The duality. Even Lady tempered her proselytizing. The bodies were moved further down the hall, placed in darkened rooms where the friends or family of the dead could mourn in relative solitude. Though Lady did not keep at her shrillness, she did light candles (from whatever places she’d found them) and kept with those mourning if only for company. The duality.
Those which cared to pitch in with cooking did so and though there were kitchens, we cramped in the rooms nearest the surface and cooked together over portable stove eyes. Some cried alone and others found laughter in it; black humor cured the sickness for some. The duality. Skitterbug-infested folks were there along with the rest and though blinded or incapacitated, they did what they were able. In tragedy, the will to do was good enough it seemed.
I hated them. Every single one. Mal and all. The ignorance of a species. Duality is well enough for observation, but where was that willpower in the face of oppression? Who was to say? I am no great secret-keeper for the human condition, and I am no anthropologist. I do not have the keys to the vehicle of mankind, but I know that I’ve looked at them so often and seen the hypocrisy. I hated them.
Yet, there I was—just as well. Alongside the others, I helped in the gathering of supplies, in the quick jokes which pass for camaraderie in the heat of manual labor. The duality? Doesn’t matter. I was no different. Whatever hate in my heart, it was dissolved in the chatter and there I was, eating and drinking among them and though I kept to myself, it was a crisis, and everyone spoke as they are to do in crises. Possibly it’s the panicked cry for survival.
The alcohol reserves were ransacked and any time a teary-eyed soul decided to arrive from the dead-rooms of mourning, they were brought in among us ravenously, given food, given a cup for drink, and there wasn’t time to ruin it. Us organisms reveled there on the cusp of death. Who knew what was to come?
We arranged ourselves across bunks and ate on beds like they were tables and sat cross-legged by the overhead fluorescent lights. Those bulbs cast a weird glow across our faces—especially once put in tandem with the orange flames of the portable stoves.
No one asked me about kissing the ass of Devils and no one singled me out and, in the crowd, I was totally lost in the best way possible; it could have been the drink. In lulls we all stopped and listened to the aboveground noises. Being so close to the entryway, we could hear the destruction—even though it was such a present factor in our time in the underground, it became totally unreal. In those lulls, it was apparent that we could hear creatures, massive things (I imagined Leviathan and the skin takers), crash around.
But the whispering would come on in tides and wash up into a great many conversations. Those folks told stories about the dead and the lost and how they hoped they’d find them after all was done; there were so many affirmations—of course the loved-ones would be found; there was no doubt.
As the dinner—that’s what it was—carried on, the mother from before pushed away from her mourning. It was the woman whose daughter was killed in front of her; Mal tensed up beside of where I sat. I expected the mother to lunge at the wall man, but she did not. Instead, she creased her face in a macabre demonstration that was like a smile and asked if we had anything hard. With a cup which Mal gave her, she took to drinking quickly and did not speak to anyone more than a bit; we learned her name was Jessica. Somewhere in the crowd I recognized the boy I scuffled with; the boy that disappeared after the gunshot—his nose was red still and twisted and he was smiling too while someone talked to him, and he nodded, and I drank, and reality felt preposterous. Whatever loneliness that persisted inside of me rearrived.
It was warm; hot as hell and it made us thirsty.
They piled and slept like degenerates wherever and those that passed silently from injury, which were laid about, could not have been determined besides the living—surely the smell would’ve been something if I hadn’t the belching stench of whiskey on my breath. As the dinner died, I excused myself to the hall; I saw Mal laid-out. Jessica sat beside her, craned half over a raised mattress with the cup in front of her chest; she held onto the small object with white knuckles.
Looking over the mass of folks in the bunkroom while standing in the threshold, I shook my head and moved onto the next room and the scene was much the same. That loneliness remained and I felt like maybe I’d done it, I’d put it there in me. As often as I harkened back to the days of the Rednecks, to the days of family, community, unity; a better man could have rebuilt that—absurd, could a person rebuild the abstract? No. Maybe not rebuild. That’s the wrong word. It is remend? New ties. New lives and a new community.
There was one person I wished was there: Suzanne. I sat in the hall by the latched door, closed my eyes, tilted my head back and listened to the ruckus overhead (it was almost silent) and I squinted through slits at the overhead lights and in reaching a hand to the open air by my side, open palmed, I almost felt Suzanne’s hand in my own and for a while it felt totally real. Smiling childishly, I blinked a few times, sat the bottle between my legs where I was, massaged my eyes.
Though I half-listened for banging on the door, no one came. Whoever was left overhead was gone. That was another happiness. Maron—Billy was surely dead, and I could rest easier for it. It should have been an end to the terribleness in me; the crying came on like a hard ache that went all over my body and no weight came off me. That was why I cried so heavily there in the hall; there was always the expectation that there would be a weight gone and it wasn’t—I should’ve known better than that and it had been something I feared all along. It made no difference. He was dead and I was alive and none of it mattered anyway. What grand satisfaction!
My face went into my hands, and I was overcome with a wild thumping all over; my heartbeat banged around, and I smeared my eyes with the backs of my hands and in doing so I smeared the dried blood there. I examined myself and saw my hands were covered in the stuff (some was my own, but mostly it wasn’t), my shirt was splattered with it, and even the dark jacket I wore showed it. It didn’t matter. There was no matter. The level of idiocy—I was no better than all those folks that disappeared from their mourning with their drink and their food and their conversations. The only difference was that I was entirely alone—whose fault was that anyway? I knew and I cried some more.
In the time I sat in the hall, the drink bottomed out and consciousness came and went deliriously. My left leg ached, and I stretched it out and pulled my jacket tightly around myself and slept about as pleasantly as a person could.
Jackson spoke briefly about these underground places. It’d been a drunk night in the company where they kept pouring him another and another. He never did go on so much as that night about the underground. Jackson said all of them had COI markings. It was some old men that’d built them. Ancient bygone times. I wished I’d asked him more.
When I came awake again, there was no indicator—all time was the same under those lights; they no longer flickered. The thing that brought me from my slump was the boy from before. The young one that’d asked me to save his daddy. He’d pushed into my bicep and held on to my forearm with his one good hand like it meant he might die otherwise. Startled, I looked on the boy; his eyes were changing—the process was slow but evident. Had he been in the hall all along? Had he seen me there crying? I hadn’t even noticed him. I scanned the chamber and there were still a few bodies strewn about: forgotten or unknown. The boy’s father remained erect where he was sitting, rod still protruding from the corpse.
“What’s the matter?” I asked the boy.
“He’s cold.” The boy coughed on the words, and I shuddered; his eyes were a streak of red with two whiting orbs and he pinched them shut and slammed his face into my arm.
I nodded, sighed, “You got a mama?”
He kept his head the way it was and didn’t react to my question at all.
“What’s your name, boy?”
His voice was a muffle in my arm and indiscernible.
I nudged him a bit but hoped to not disturb him too much. His small fingers on his right hand were like little pincers, and they dug into me. “You got a name?”
His head moved gently up and down and then he finally freed himself from where he’d buried into my arm. “I’m William.”
“William? Huh. Funny name.”
William snorted and pulled away and straightened himself and wiped his cheek with his shoulder and kept his good right arm clinging on mine—his rotting hand stank but I said nothing. “I’m named after daddy.”
“Mm.” I nodded and craned my head back to rest on the wall we sat against. “Anyone ever call you Billy?”
“No.” The child sniffled, lifted his head a bit so his chin stuck out, “Are you like one of those monsters?”
I shot him a curious expression.
“You’re all messed up on one side.”
I faintly grinned and shook my head. “C’mere,” I lifted my arm so that he may lean into my ribs and with him doing so, I wrapped both arms around him; his little body shook but he didn’t make too much noise. William’s hair smelled like sweat and dirt and I let him cry for a while, cupping his crown in my hand, resting my chin across my knuckles, staring at the wall across.
A day and some passed in the underground. We moved the corpses into the large room where the ammunition manufacturing was done; the webbing cracks with traced the walls there seemed deeper, more impressive—that might’ve only been my imagination. Once the dead were taken care of, covered, given rites completely where pertinent, a subtle equilibrium overcame us survivors; it was no such thing as normal—who knew what that was?
Folks burst into sudden fits of anger or joy or passion or vigor or lust or deep sorrow; mourning manifested in whatever fashion it so decided. Though it was obvious, it was not always evident to everyone and so fights broke out intermittently, but two people could fight and within an hour’s time they’d be best friends and so the cycle would repeat. Mal toured me through the place some so that I gathered the layout somewhat. There were food stores aplenty, though something drug on the reserves of water. The stuff fresh from the pipes would disappear shortly—the faucets spit angrily from disrupted pressure. Whatever was bottled or preserved would not last infinitely; we would all need to face the surface.
I intended on this sooner rather than later regardless of how anyone felt about it.
The boy—William—kept to my heels no matter how I distanced, and I gave up quickly on losing him amongst the crowd.
Golgotha, being as large as it was, was densely packed and although I never counted the heads of those I passed (I’m sure Boss Frank did so), the ones that were left were a sad few; only a bit more than one-hundred-and-fifty by a guess. That was what remained. How sad. I wished to dive into the theatrics, the dramatics of it. I wished to bring myself to ruin over the lost lives—yet there was some rotten core in me that believed it was deserved. Oppressed existed only because they allowed it. What should I have felt? I felt nothing too much.
There was the hope of Suzanne—I’d cook for Suzanne and Gemma both and maybe I’d find a stick for Trouble, and I’d never feel misery again; this was a dream, I knew it then too. Misery was me and whether it was so by Mephisto or I put it there was irrelevant.
Hope, love, companionship. Words I wished I knew better. There was a light too though. It grew in me. Maron was dead. Billy was dead. I was glad for it—gladder than I’d been. The weight remained but I was out of excuses.
I pilfered clothes, medicine, a satchel, foodstuffs, and hoped to go away quickly, abruptly as oft before, I went to the latched door which led outside. The smell of brimstone remained, the smell of smoke too, but I wished for daylight and grew more restless.
In the wet basement there was dust and rubble and ascending the stairway to the kitchen of that place once known as the hall of Bosses, I smelled something like rain. It was only earlier than midday by a smidge and I propelled myself from the place, down the front steps of the hall, into the awful state of Golgotha.
The sky was red, and the walls were streaked with brown dried blood and the bodies—pieces and flayed—were putrid in the sun like putty dolls. Smoldering black spots swelted heat at random checkpoints and warped or torn metal glowed as silver where they threw the sun like blinding orbs. Water spurted from pipes which fed the hydro towers most of all and the ground ran muddy and scabs of congealed viscera the size of paper sheets rafted along in puddles that culminated in places where I walked.
I moved through the streets that were no longer and peered across and in my beleaguered visage I saw the exterior walls, the thick bulwark against the wastes, had been punched through in places. Leviathan again.
Buildings—pieces—tilted in on themselves and out on neighbors and rooves fell away in slants so that I clamored across them precariously with wide legs.
Hell stink remained wherever I moved and bodies stood in places—those with faces remained upturned to the sky, eyes gone or tongue gone or ears and I felt compelled to face them away.
Strangers called out to me, and I slid where I walked to pivot where I’d come from, and I saw that a good many survivors followed me from the recesses of the underground; they called to me, but I waved them off and shifted to look for a good enough path from that devastation. Those specks of people—that’s what they’d become there on the steps of the hall—had no weight I should carry.
A rattle of strangulation signaled someone ahead and in the harsh sunlight they were painted black like shadow till my eyes came to focus completely on them. They wore a cowboy hat and swore some indistinguishable thing loud enough to wake the dead.
“No,” I said.
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I found the caterer of my literal dreams. She is so willing to work within my budget and even offer things at cost just for the opportunity to bring it together. I am so excited!
I'm currently perusing two buffet-style dinner options, both include a charcuterie layout during cocktail hour:

• Option 1: traditional: prime rib option, bbq chicken option, rice pilaf, roasted seasonal veggies, salad, and dinner roll deal
• Option 2: woodfired pizza oven, cheese pizza plus 4 other pizza options, 2 salad options

I hadn't strongly considered pizza before, but I found out this option would save me $800 on catering, which would be huge. Would love to put that money elsewhere. My only minor hold-up is that my sister (and I think maybe 2-3 other plus ones) are gluten-free. It feels lame to go to a wedding only to eat salad and bits from the charcuterie spread, but I also don't know if I should bank $800 on just a couple of people. I have, however, inquired about sourcing a few frozen gluten-free pizzas that could be prepared for those people.
I wanted to gauge how people generally thought about pizza at a wedding. Wood fired/ made on-site feels fun to me but I know people are picky about wedding food, so I wanted to poll a larger, un-biased group. I'm still interested in the traditional option since there is more variety in the offering, but of course saving money is a big perk.
Any advice here encouraged!