Introduction
Dr. Misti Tope, principal of Classen School of Advanced Studies at Northeast High School in Oklahoma City, has been the subject of growing controversy. Allegations of fostering an environment of fear and hostility, coupled with acts of racism, homophobia, transphobia, antisemitism, and misogyny, have surfaced from students, parents, and faculty. This exposé delves into the troubling realities under her administration, providing a detailed account of her impact on the school community and the systemic issues at play.
A Climate of Fear and Hostility
Since Dr. Tope assumed her role, there has been a marked increase in complaints from all corners of the school community. Parents have resorted to organizing private meetups to discuss their grievances, underscoring the pervasive fear and dissatisfaction. Students, feeling unheard and marginalized, have taken to creating petitions such as the "Say Nope to Tope" campaign, highlighting their desire for change.
Aligning with Controversial Views
Dr. Tope's public statements indicate her intent to align the school's educational environment with the views of Ryan Walters, the Oklahoma Secretary of Education known for his conservative and often controversial stance on various social issues. This alignment has raised alarms among many, especially as Walters' views are seen as divisive and not conducive to an inclusive educational setting.
Discrimination and Intimidation
Firing of Teachers
One of the most troubling aspects of Dr. Tope’s tenure is her treatment of teachers of color and LGBTQ+ faculty. She has systematically fired or forced out several teachers of color under dubious circumstances. Notably, Mx. Mustain, a trans teacher nearing tenure, was dismissed without just cause. These actions suggest a deliberate effort to purge the school of diversity and suppress any dissenting voices within the faculty.
Threats Against Female Students
Dr. Tope has also exhibited a disturbing pattern of intimidating female students who report predatory behavior by faculty members. Furthermore, she disbanded an after-school club formed to offer support to students over a broad range of topics, including predatory behavior - threatening to disband any group that seeks to protect itself from predatory teachers. One student reported receiving a threatening call from a private number, during which Dr. Tope did not identify herself but implied severe consequences if the student continued their advocacy. Dr. Tope later admitted to making this call when confronted and it was allegedly condoned by the Oklahoma City Public School District administration per Dr. Tope.
Inappropriate Physical Conduct
Dr. Tope’s misconduct extends to physical interactions with students. She has been accused of groping students during dress code checks, making derogatory comments about their bodies regardless of any actual dress code violations. Her actions have been described as not only invasive but also profoundly inappropriate, contributing to a culture of discomfort and fear among female students.
Racism and Antisemitism
Targeting Black Students
Dr. Tope's administration has been particularly hostile towards black students. She has attempted to disband the Black Student Union (BSU) multiple times and has made openly racist remarks. She has referred to black students as "rats and roaches" and suggested that they are incapable of learning, likening them to goldfish with limited memory. These comments have exacerbated racial tensions and marginalized black students, making them feel unwelcome and undervalued in their own school.
Holocaust Denial
Dr. Tope’s antisemitic views are equally alarming. She is an active Holocaust denier and has disrupted educational programs about the Holocaust. A notable incident involved her removing the son of a Holocaust survivor from the stage during a presentation. By shutting down these important conversations, Dr. Tope undermines educational efforts to teach tolerance and historical accuracy.
Behavior of Dr. Tope’s Son
Dr. Tope’s son, also a student at the school, has contributed to the hostile environment. He is known for carving swastikas and other Nazi imagery around the school and making antisemitic, homophobic, transphobic, and racist remarks. Despite this behavior, Dr. Tope dismisses it, blaming it falsely on influences from anime, and allows her son to skip classes and roam the school freely.
Transphobia and Misogyny Discriminatory Policies
Transgender students have faced severe discrimination under Dr. Tope’s leadership. She has enforced policies that force transgender students to use restrooms corresponding to their biological gender and dress according to their biological gender. Additionally, she has relocated the gender-neutral restroom several times to make it less accessible, further marginalizing these students.
Double Standards
The treatment of male and female students reveals a disturbing double standard. Male students who have exposed themselves to female students have received minimal punishment, such as detention, while female students reporting these incidents are dismissed as "overemotional" and "dramatic." This disparity not only perpetuates a culture of misogyny but also discourages female students from coming forward with legitimate concerns.
Investigation and Student Perception
Before the publication of this exposé, the Oklahoma City Public Schools (OKCPS) conducted a comprehensive investigation into Dr. Tope's leadership at Classen School of Advanced Studies. This investigation included an anonymous parent survey aimed at assessing Dr. Tope's effectiveness and the level of trust she commands within the school community. Despite Dr. Tope's public efforts to cultivate a friendly rapport with black students (mere hours before the survey was made public), her actions were met with skepticism and rejection by the student body.
Statistical Context
To understand the broader implications of Dr. Tope's actions, it is essential to consider national and state statistics on the issues at hand. According to the 2021 Youth Risk Behavior Survey by the CDC, 36.3% of LGBTQ+ students reported being bullied on school property, and 18.4% experienced physical dating violence. The ADL reported a 34% increase in antisemitic incidents in schools across the U.S. from 2018 to 2021. In Oklahoma, these issues are equally pressing, with numerous reports of discriminatory incidents in schools across the state, highlighting the urgent need for inclusive and supportive educational environments.
Impact of Discrimination on Academic Performance and Mental Health
Extensive research underscores the profound impact of discrimination on academic performance and mental health among high school students. Studies published by the American Psychological Association reveal that experiences of homophobia, transphobia, misogyny, racism, and antisemitism significantly impede academic achievement among adolescents in grades 9 through 12. Moreover, these discriminatory experiences are strongly associated with increased levels of stress, anxiety, depression, and suicidal ideation among affected youth.
For instance, a study published in the Journal of Adolescent Health found that LGBTQ+ students who experienced high levels of victimization based on their sexual orientation or gender identity were more likely to report lower grades and higher rates of absenteeism compared to their heterosexual and cisgender peers. Similarly, research conducted by the National Association of School Psychologists indicates that exposure to racial discrimination contributes to elevated levels of psychological distress and impaired academic functioning among students of color.
Inclusivity Across Demographics
It is imperative to acknowledge the intersectionality of discrimination and its differential impacts across various demographic groups. According to data from the U.S. Department of Education's Civil Rights Data Collection, students from marginalized racial and ethnic backgrounds, including Asians, Hispanics, Blacks, and Native Americans, often face disparities in educational opportunities and outcomes due to systemic inequities. Additionally, transgender and LGBTQIA+ students frequently encounter hostile school environments characterized by harassment, bullying, and exclusion, which detrimentally affect their academic engagement and well-being.
Research in the field of developmental psychology emphasizes the importance of creating inclusive and affirming school climates that validate students' diverse identities and lived experiences. Positive school environments that foster a sense of belonging and acceptance have been shown to promote academic success, psychological resilience, and social-emotional well-being among students from marginalized groups. By prioritizing equity, diversity, and inclusion initiatives, educational institutions can cultivate a culture of mutual respect and support that benefits all members of the school community.
Support Resources
In light of the mental health challenges exacerbated by discrimination and prejudice, it is crucial to provide accessible resources and interventions to support students in distress. School-based mental health services, such as counseling, therapy, and peer support groups, play a vital role in addressing the emotional needs of students experiencing discrimination-related stressors. Additionally, community-based organizations and advocacy groups offer valuable resources, helplines, and crisis intervention services tailored to the specific needs of LGBTQ+ youth, racial/ethnic minority students, and other marginalized populations.
Empowering students to advocate for systemic change and social justice within their schools can also promote resilience and collective empowerment. Educational initiatives that promote diversity education, cultural competence, and inclusive curriculum development contribute to creating equitable learning environments that affirm students' identities and promote social equity.
By integrating evidence-based practices, trauma-informed approaches, and culturally responsive strategies into school-based interventions, educators and mental health professionals can address the multifaceted needs of students affected by discrimination and promote positive youth development outcomes. Through collaborative efforts and sustained commitment to equity and social justice, educational stakeholders can work together to dismantle systemic barriers and create inclusive communities where all students can thrive academically, emotionally, and socially.
Student and Parent Mobilization
The dissatisfaction with Dr. Tope's administration has reached a critical point. Students recently cornered Dr. Tope in her office, an act indicative of their desperation and frustration. A planned walkout threatened to escalate into violence, with rumors of a possible attack on Dr. Tope’s son. Parents and students are organizing and mobilizing independently, indicating a breakdown of trust in the school’s administration.
Administrative and Legal Failures
The response from school resource officers and local police has been inconsistent and troubling. When contacted, the OKCPD and OKCPS Resource Officers provided conflicting accounts of the incidents, revealing a lack of proper communication and coordination. The mishandling of serious allegations internally by the school administration points to deeper systemic issues and raises questions about accountability and transparency.
Conclusion
Dr. Misti Tope’s leadership has led to a toxic environment at Classen School of Advanced Studies. Her discriminatory practices and intimidation tactics have harmed students and faculty, creating an atmosphere of fear and hostility. As parents and students mobilize for change, it is clear that Dr. Tope’s tenure is untenable. For the future of Classen and the well-being of its community, it is imperative that these issues are addressed and resolved promptly. The school needs a leader who fosters inclusivity, respect, and safety for all its members.
For those who may be struggling with depression or suicidal thoughts as a result of discrimination or other challenges, it's important to seek support. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline provides free and confidential support 24/7. If you or someone you know is in crisis, please call 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or visit their website for more information and resources.

Hi. I'm not really into Japan and I shy away from urban, crowded, touristic areas, but my son likes disney, pokemon, Mario, and we love sushi and we haven't vacationed in a while. Also curious to see DisneyLand + he's never been on a rollercoaster. Here is my plan with some comments at the end. The plan is purely made for his maximum enjoyment so only kid friendly activities.
Day 1: Arrival, get PASMO passports (credit card-apple pay didn't work) and practice using it.
Day 2: DisneyLand.
Day 3: DisneySea.
Day 4: DisneyLand.
Day 5: train to Osaka, see the aquarium there, ferris wheel.
Day 6: Universal Studios inc. Nintendo World (only reason we're going to Osaka).
Day 7: Osaka Castle Park. Take train back to Tokyo.
Day 8: Ueno park, museums, zoo (see panda). Akihabara and some shops (Super Potato, yodobashi akiba)
Day 9: teamLab borderless, some toy stores (kobayashi, hakuhinkan toy park, ...)
Day 10: REEAST room, Nintendo Tokyo, Pokemon Center, Kiddy Land, Meiji Shrine
Day 11: Ninja Trick House, Samurai Museum, Godzilla Head (we pass it on the way), Shinjuku Gyoen National Garden, Don Quijote (two near locations)
Day 12: Full day Fuji Tour, should relax on the bus. Took the english guide version.
Day 13: Sumo practice, Senso ji, souvenir shopping, chilling
Day 14: Odaiba -> unko museum, small worlds, gundam statue+base, whatever else we like there (tussads, sega arcade stuff, joyopolis,....
Day 15: Departure

• I prebooked some tickets, the rest can only be booked 1 month or 1 week prior.
  
• Can't use credit card for disney resort. Bought day tickets via klook. Guess no premium pass for us.
  
• Will pack hats and sun screen.
  
• Some things in the schedule can be cancelled if we feel tired. Some can be done on different days if we have free time.
  
• We wanted to go to some fine dining but every michelin star restaurant I looked at doesn't accept kids. He is 8 years old. I will ask the concierge for best restaurants that would accept kids. We only like sushi pretty much. No tempora, no weird sea animals, no spice or soy.
  
• Laundry and dry cleaning will be handled by the hotels we're staying at. Same for luggage storage (e.g. tokyo hotel will store luggage while we're in Osaka).
  
• I'm tall, brown, big beard, mohawk, from the middle east. Experienced racism in some east and southeast asian countries, and cars would stop sometimes to take pictures of me like i'm a circus freak. Will Japan be the same? I already spent 3 weeks going through a gruelling visa process.
  
• Some activities involve using the metro early. When is the time where everyone is completely stuck together on the train? So I use a taxi instead.
  
• I took some Japanese classes over 10 years ago. Do I need anything more than hello, thanks, excuse me, how much, what time?
  
• Anything to do in Ginza? Are the clothes there unique from any ultra luxury stores I can already buy elsewhere?
  

Thanks for any help
EDIT:
Flight leaves/arrives @ Narita airport. Will take skyliner to tokyo station then taxi. On the return will take taxi direct (I assume we'll have full luggage from souvenirs).
Hotels: first 4 nights -> Grand Nikko Tokyo Bay Maihama [right next to Disney resorts]
Osaka 2 nights -> THE SINGULARI HOTEL & SKYSPA at UNIVERSAL STUDIOS JAPAN [right next to the studios]
Last 8 nights -> Accor Pullman Tokyo @ Tamachi [next to train station, central from everything]

Hello everyone, I'm being offered by my current company to relocate permanently from Philippines to Bucharest. I work in finance, and they're offering me around 2K euro net of tax/social contr per month of paycheck, + xxx ron worth of flexible benefits monthly where i can use it for my misc expenses. The company will shoulder the relocation expenses for my family as well, wife, and 2 kids (1 toddler, 1 grade schooler). For 1-2 years, my wife will fully take care of our child, so I will be the sole income earner in the family. I heard that private schools, especially international schools there are pretty expensive, so we decided that our daughter will enroll in public school. In terms of learning the language, the company offered us to have 100hrs per person subsidized training, either in language schools or private tutors. Also, in terms of apartment hunting, there will be a real estate agency that will help us find a suitable 2-bedroom apartment in city center or at least near the city center where we have close proximity to public schools, parks, subways, markets, and hospitals. the company will also give us relocation allowances to help us have a fresh start there in Bucharest.
so, these past days, we've been estimating the monthly cost of living there. so i would like to get your thoughts how realistic it is. Also, I've heard that sector 1, and sector 3 are good neighborhoods, but I'm not sure if there are public schools there. which locations can you recommend where they are lots of public schools, and near subways? Our office is located in business park somewhere in Floreasca. So to put everything into perspective, apart from the fact that I liked the role being offered and I think in EU I might have more opportunities than in PH, one factor before accepting the offer is whether can support my family there in Bucharest. As a Asian family, we tend to be excited to move to EU, but just to make sure if this great leap is worth it.
rent (2 bedroom apartment) - 500-600 euro
wifi + cable - 15 euro
electricity/gas - 100 euro
watemaintenance - 60 euro
mobile internet - 9 euro * 3 phones = 27 euro
transportation (combination of metro, bus, taxi, uber, etc) - 50 euro
eat out - 50 euro
groceries ( food, toiletries, infant milk) - 600 euro
clothing - 50 euro
total = approximately 1,500 euros

Hello! I'll be coming to Vegas for an event soon, and I'll be staying at The Orleans for a few days (I chose it for the affordable price, and many Google reviews say that its cleanliness is up to standards, unlike some of the hotels on The Strip). I've just looked up some Reddit threads about the area around The Orleans though, and it seems like some people say it's a bit sketchy?
I'll be alone and I'm a young Asian female; should I be concerned about my safety? I won't be drinking at all, and the latest I'd be coming back to the hotel would be ~12AM. There is also one day where I'll have to travel from The Orleans to Excalibur between ~4-5AM to get picked up for an event.
My plan was to take a bus around to the places that I want to go, but I'm not sure if maybe I should Uber to/from my hotel just to avoid being out in the area around the hotel? I've never used Uber before, and I'd prefer to use public transportation if I can, since I've heard bad stories about solo females using Uber as well.
So: how safe do you think the area around The Orleans would be for me? I'd really appreciate any thoughts on this!
Edit: Thanks for the input/advice, everyone!! I've cancelled my booking at The Orleans and have rebooked elsewhere (on the strip). It was a lot more expensive, but I'd rather be safe than save the money! :,) Thanks again!

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FRIDAY - MAY 17th

Dallas Stars at Colorado Avalanche @ Ball Arena
Shordie Shordie @ Summit @ 8PM
Ganja White Night @ Mission Ballroom @ 8PM
Microwave @ Ogden Theatre @ 7PM
Battle Beast @ Gothic Theatre @ 8PM With Blackbriar
Buddy Bench + Grayson Ratliff @ Marquis Theater @ 7PM
Fleetmac Wood @ Meow Wolf @ 9PM
Nico Moreno @ Temple @ 10PM
Ben Hemsley @ The Church Nightclub @ 9PM
Medium Build @ Bluebird Theater @ 8PM With Rosie Rush
Local Natives @ Boulder Theater @ 8PM
Liquid Chicken @ Fox Theatre @ 8PM
Paa Kow @ Levitt Pavilion @ 7:30PM *Part of the Levitt Free Summer Concert Series
Arden Jones @ Globe Hall @ 8PM
Rumours: Fleetwood Mac Tribute @ Moxi Theater @ 8PM

SATURDAY - MAY 18th

Village Cultural Festival @ The Village Institute @ 11AM Catch a multicultural dance & fashion show, family activities, delicious food, and local craft market!
AANHPI Night Market @ Stanley Marketplace @ 2PM Enjoy a traditional Asian Night Market where you’ll enjoy a variety of cultural performances, shopping and sweet and savory treats and drinks.
Denver Comics and Arts Festival @ Town Hall Collaborative @ 11AM Shop from local artists, publishers, and vendors working to support alternative comics in Colorado.
Gabriel Iglesias Comedy Show @ Ball Arena @ 8PM
Pete Davidson Comedy Show @ Boulder Theater @ 6PM / 9PM
Becky Robinson Comedy Show @ Paramount Theatre @ 8PM
Candlelight: A Tribute to Fleetwood Mac @ Trinity United Methodist Church @ 6:30PM / 9PM
Ganja White Night @ Red Rocks Amphitheatre @ 6PM With Eliminate, Joker, Monty, & Bukez Finezt
Marcus King @ Fillmore Auditorium @ 7PM With JJ Wilde
itchy-o @ Summit @ 8PM
Vale of Pnath + Abigail Williams @ Marquis Theater @ 6:30PM
Idles @ Mission Ballroom @ 8PM With Ganser
GoldFish @ Ogden Theatre @ 8PM With Gigamesh & Danger Foley
Attila / Born of Osiris @ Gothic Theatre @ 5:30PM
Fleetmac Wood @ Meow Wolf @ 9PM
Argy @ Temple @ 10PM
Medium Build @ Bluebird Theater @ 8PM With Rosie Rush
Big Bubble Rave @ Fox Theatre @ 9PM
Etana + Link&Chain @ Levitt Pavilion @ 7PM *Part of the Levitt Free Summer Concert Series
Red Rum Club @ Globe Hall @ 8PM
Defeats the Porpoise + Nak @ Moxi Theater @ 8PM

SUNDAY - MAY 19th

Nuggets vs Timberwolves @ Ball Arena @ 7PM
Pete Davidson Comedy Show @ Paramount Theatre @ 7PM
Gianmarco Soresi Stand Up @ Comedy Works Downtown @ 7PM / 9:15PM
Nancy Norton’s ‘Nurses Off The Charts’ Comedy Show @ Comedy Works South @ 8PM
Needtobreathe @ Red Rocks Amphitheatre @ 7PM With Judah & The Lion
Rich Amiri @ Marquis Theater @ 8PM
Knocked Loose @ Mission Ballroom @ 7PM With Show Me The Body, Loathe, & SPEED
Ride @ Gothic Theatre @ 8PM With Knifeplay
Bleakheart @ Bluebird Theater @ 8PM With Palehorse/Palerider & George Cessna
Idles @ Boulder Theater @ 8PM
Vincent Lima @ Globe Hall @ 8PM

All Weekend

FRIDAY & SATURDAY - Billy Strings @ Fiddler’s Green Amphitheatre @ 7:30PM
SATURDAY & SUNDAY - RiNo Spring Bazaar @ Zeppelin Station @ 11AM Shop from 80+ local makers, enjoy food trucks and street food, craft beers, and live music at the RiNo edition of Denver BAZAAR.
SATURDAY & SUNDAY -’A Sea Symphony’ in Concert @ Boettcher Concert Hall Celebrate 40 years of the world-renowned Colorado Symphony Chorus with a renewal of Vaughan Williams' ‘A Sea Symphony,’ as well as selections from Beethoven.
All weekend - KlezKolorado Festival @ JCC Ranch Camp This weekend-long Klezmer festival includes concerts, workshops, and community-led outdoor activities.
All weekend - Kelsey Cook Stand Up @ Comedy Works Downtown
All weekend - Heather McDonald Stand Up @ Comedy Works South
All weekend - ‘Les Sylphides’ Ballet @ The Dairy Arts Center Boulder Ballet presents the historic ballet ‘Les Sylphides,’ with Mikhail Fokine’s original ground-breaking choreography.
All weekend - ‘A Year with Frog and Toad’ Family-Friendly Musical @ Arvada Center LAST CHANCE - Arnold Lobel's treasured characters hop from page to stage in a story of friendship and adventure.
All weekend - ‘Where Did We Sit On The Bus’ Play @ Singleton Theatre Through live music and storytelling, this one-person show immerses the audience in elaborate, layered soundscapes by fusing Latin rhythms, hip-hop, and spoken word poetry.
All weekend - ‘The Lehman Trilogy’ Play @ Kilstrom Theatre ‘The Lehman Trilogy’ is an epic and timely story of family, ambition, and risk, sprawling across 163 years of history of the Lehman Brothers.
All weekend - ‘Cullud Wattah’ Play @ Curious Theatre This time-bending play takes on the Flint Water Crisis and dives deep into the poisonous choices of the outside world and how we make the best decisions for our families’ futures when there are no options.
All weekend - ‘The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee’ Play @ Vintage Theatre In this original Broadway production, an eclectic group of teenagers vie for the spelling championship of a lifetime.

Ongoing

Ongoing - ‘Bubble Planet’ Experience @ Exhibition Hub Art Center NEW - Prepare to be transported to surreal landscapes and explore 10 bubble-themed rooms that will take your imagination to new heights.
Ongoing - ‘The Berlin Airlift: Supplies from the Sky’ Exhibition @ Wings Museum The exhibit shares the lessons of courage, perseverance, and the triumph of the human spirit and pays tribute to the brave citizens who risked their lives to bring hope to a divided city.
Ongoing - ‘Biophilia: Nature Reimagined’ Exhibition @ DAM The exhibition brings together more than 80 imaginative works, including architectural models and photographs, digital installations, and immersive art that collectively highlight the transformative power of nature.
Ongoing - ‘Fazal Sheikh: Thirst Exposure In Place’ Exhibition @ DAM Capturing the Colorado Plateau, Sheikh’s portraits and landscapes shed light on the far-reaching consequences of extractive industry and climate change.
Ongoing - ‘The Russells in Denver, 1921’ Exhibition @ DAM Charles M. Russel’s works capture the vast landscapes, mountain ranges, and peoples of the American West of the 1880s, thus leaving a valuable chronicle of the West that once was.
Ongoing - ‘Sandra Vásquez de la Horra: The Awake Volcanoes’ Exhibition @ DAM The exhibition highlights paintings, drawings, and prints by award-winning artist Sandra Vásquez de la Horra, who explores the notions of fantasy, desire, fear, and pleasure and its relationship to the human body.
Ongoing - Spring Exhibition Series @ MCA MCA’s Spring series includes solo exhibitions of three contemporary artists whose multidisciplinary works focus on the exploration of the natural phenomena, landscapes, and human interactions with the natural world.

Original post: I am not okay with the new Assassin's Creed game as an Asian-American
Context: The new Assassin's Creed game from Ubisoft is going to be set in 16th-century Japan, commonly known as the Sengoku Era. The main character is based on Yasuke. There's already many people who are upset at this for bigoted reasons, but the Asian American/diaspora community is upset for reasons of representation. They bring up other examples such as Nioh or Shogun, where they argue that choosing a white male lead (black in AC's case) instead of an Asian character in an Asian setting is contributing to the erasure of Asian male leads in media.
Nioh 1 stars a white guy so I'm not sure why you're okay with that but not AC.
A little different situation, it was published by Sony and developed by Koei Tecmo Japan so it was probably Asians making these creative decisions
Just because it’s Japanese made doesn’t give it a pass. Japanese developers also have a problem of putting white/non-Asian leads in their games
Is it really hard to expect Japanese developers to make Japanese games set in Japan with Japanese characters like they are? It’s not even representation, just for them to make what they know. That’s what white men do all the time.
This is the kind of shit only some Asians would say. You never ever fucking hear other minorities in America(Black, Mexicans, Natives etc) nor other people from non-white nations say shit like this. This is embarassing.
So the issue of Asian male erasure is only okay if Asians are the ones perpetuating it?
People have a boner for calling out “anti-blackness in the asian community”
There is so much gaslighting and "just play another Samurai game" to ignore the obvious. Every AC series has had their own male representation except East Asians. it's the erasure of Asian male representation.
Making the lead of another samurai game asian isn't going to help with asian american representation. I just don't think this one is worth fighting for.
Already said it somewhere else but I'll repeat it: any asian that's comfortable with anti-blackness as a transaction for perceived allyship is being the real fool here.
Honestly, I get what you are saying, but at the same time, due to how most of the non-Asians who have an issue with it is cause they are low-key racists and hate seeing a black main character in their Japanese escapism game, I want it to succeed.
So, you'll throw our community under the bus because white gamers are racist towards Black and Asian people?
Nioh? Crickets. Shogun? Crickets. But NOW you suddenly care so damn much about asian representation the moment said representation is 'taken' away by a black man?
Fuck nioh, and fuck shogun, fuck the last samurai and fuck ghost in the shell too whole we're at it. If you think people didn't complain, you just didn't see it.

Hi. Tomorrow is my 30th birthday.
I want to die.
I hear this sentence almost every day since more than a decade now. I've been in institutions dozens of times. I've been through several treatments, and my body has been ruined by SSRIs. I don't know if I'm still suffering from depression. I stopped hurting myself physically a few years ago. I don't know if things are better now. I feel like I have less suffering, but enjoy life less and less. I'm feel like I'm becoming bitter and disappointed in everything, in me, in others,but especially in me. I'm completely dysfunctional, I'm not getting the healthcare I need, I'm unable to go to appointments, I'm unable to think and be productive about anything, even though I have lots of projects. Everything I do feels like a way to procrastinate my suicide, and I generally never finish anything. The only way I manage to clear my head of all this is by sleep deprivation, which I do a lot. After 45 hours without sleep, I just stop thinking, and especially I stop feeling anything, and then I can be a bit more functional. But I do that so often that it's affecting my health. I get very very frequent "brain zaps", almost daily, where it's like I get an electric shock through my brain. A few days ago, after 60 hours of sleep deprivation, I stopped seeing colors for a few minutes. Everything was in shades of grey and a bit of purple. Sometimes it's also like all sounds get muted for a few seconds. It feels like someone else is playing with my senses, or what's left of them. I don't feel anything anymore, to a point where I frequently piss (or shit) myself because I don't even feel that it is happening. After 80/90 hours, I usually end up collapsing and sleeping, and when I wake up it's so horrible.
I feel numb, old and ruined. I've had diarrhea for more than a year now, and I don't really know why. I feel like my body is completely unable to feel any kind of pleasure, especially sexual pleasure, and I feel sleepy all the time, except when I stop sleeping for days. It's a powerful drug, but the comedown is hard.
I'm starting to have eczema, and it's growing on my body. At first it was a small zone in my back, and it's getting bigger and bigger. My genitals are literally atrophying from the combination of the absolute lack of sexual sensations and HRT (I'm a trans woman). I should be having regular stimulation to prevent that, but I'm complete unable to. My teeth are in ruins, from lack of brushing, from the stress that made me grind them out for years. I hate my face, I'm completely failing my transition, I hate how I look, and I hate how completely disconnected and isolated from everyone I feel.
I'm getting more and more isolated from my friends. I don't know if they are my friends anymore. They see hi if they see me, but nobody calls. Tomorrow I'll probably spend my 30th birthday alone, if I'm still alive by then.
This is not a new situation, and nothing particularly bad has happened to me recently. But the thoughts have been intense lately. I see myself dead, every bus, every car I see makes me see my dead and cold corpse lying on the pavement, every tree, every hook, every plastic bag, every knife makes me think of how I could use it to die. I'm scared of pain, and I suppose it protects me a bit, but I also love pain, I dream of it, I would want so bad for someone to punch me, to break me, to cut me, to kick me until I die. Usually when I get assaulted it's not even that bad, they grope me, slap me, it hurts for a few days, and the moment is stressful, but it's not intense enough to make me forget about how much I want to die. I was able to reach that kind of intensity years ago, when I was hitting myself and cutting me with the shards of glass embedded in my fists, but unfortunately, or fortunately, I stopped doing that.
I also don't want to hurt anyone. There are already 5 people in my family that committed suicide, I've lost my cousins, my aunts, my uncle, and as a trans girl I hear about sisters dying regularly. My boyfriend is already a widower, his previous girlfriend died a year before we met, losing me would be devastating for him. It scares me.
I said I want to die but I'm not sure it's true. Deep inside me I think I do want to live. There are things I want to do, things I want to feel, moments I want to live. But they all seem so far inaccessible, so far away, I feel tired, and I'm becoming really scared that an impulse is going to end it all.
I don't really know that to do. I don't trust doctors. I'm more scared of my life continuing as it is right now than of accidentally dying because of a suicidal impulse. SSRIs hurt me a lot, I stopped taking them since three years, and now it's becoming clear to me that I suffer from PSSD. Or it's the depression that is continuing ? I don't even know. I just know that I don't trust them, and that I don't want to see more months/years of my life wasted in a psychiatric institution, and more of my body ruined by their medications and everchanging treatments and diagnosis.
I'm scared because all of this has been going on for a while now. I don't know how to fix, or if I know, well I'm unable to. I know my peers won't be that surprised if I end up killing myself. They'll be sad for sure, but not really surprised.
I hope this won't be my last post. I don't know what to do. I wish I could say I was terrified, but not so much.

Created this initially for my brother (who recently committed to UIUC for computer science) and had an MS friend look over. Hope it helps others too!
Buses / Transportation

• The 12, 13, and 22 are most likely the ones you’ll use if you end up at Ike or PAR
• The 22 has a route that I still haven’t figured out, would recommend other buses over it if possible
• Google Maps is good for getting a general direction but is not at all accurate for timing
• Most bus stations have a code that you can text to 35890 and get the most accurate arrival times
  • Other apps that are good accuracy wise are Transit and UIUC Bus App
• Buses get very delayed in the winter time as everyone is trying to catch it and not walk in the cold, make sure to plan accordingly for going to classes and try to get on an earlier one than needed if possible
• Having a bike seems helpful from what my friends have said, invest in a good lock though

Electives

• Prioritize interest in electives over an easy A, you might learn something completely different from them compared to CS / CE courses
• On the same vein, don’t try to double or triple up on requirements if it means taking a boring classes, you have the time to take more interesting things if you want to
• Recommended electives
  • Writing a Web Presence (was BTW 263, got moved to BTW 285) with John Dudek (he was an AMAZING professor)
    • only fulfills Advanced Composition but provided a very different perspective to online material than CS courses
    • helped me get started on my portfolio
  • World Religions (REL 110)
    • was one of the ones i took to double up (Humanities - Hist & Phil, Cultural Studies - Non-West)
    • turned out to be a lot more interesting than I thought esp the units on Hinduism and Jainism
    • was a pretty easy workload, i did a lot of the essays the day before or the morning of
    • had some in-class essays which you did on paper when i took it, not sure if that’s still a thing
  • Intro to Asian American Studies (AAS 100)
    • was another course i took to double up (Social & Beh Sci - Soc Sci, Cultural Studies - US Minority)
    • also turned out to be quite interesting
    • very easy workload wise

Restaurants

• Signature Grill -- good dosas, heard biryanis are good too (+1)
• Dubai Grill -- good falafel
• Shawarma Joint – good falafel, 2 meals for one
• Mia Za’s – classic fast food Italian place
• Manolos – great novelty pizza, fairly good prices, brownie empanada is too good
• Basil Thai -- as the name implies, good Thai food
• Jip Bap -- only had the ramen but liked it when i went
  
• Dominos -- don't know if you’d do this but i would order a medium / large pizza and breadsticks to last me a few days
  
• Fast food -- Chipotle, Noodles and Co, Panda Express, Subway (prefer the Subway not on Green Street cuz there’s a nice Indian auntie and uncle)
  
• Off campus -- Himalayan Kitchen
  

Cafes

• Cafe Bene -- both locations are nice to study at if that’s your scene
• Kung Fu Tea -- lots of boba and non-boba options, i liked their strawberry smoothie but was a bit on the expensive end
• Yummy Future -- good for a one-time visit, their coffees and drinks are expensive but it’s cool to watch the robot making it
  • I’ve heard a Yummy Future is going to replace Einstein Bagels in Siebel CS
• Heard good things about Daily Byte in the ECE building (+1!!!)
• Gotten good croissants from the cafe in Grainger Library but don't know how anything else is there (don't go here, they have a bad rep for hygiene!)
• If you’re ever in Bevier Hall, they have good lunch stuff on the 2nd / 3rd floor (there’s signs pointing you to it)
• Off campus there’s this nice cafe in Urbana with samosas called Strawberry Fields

Groceries

• Amazon Prime came quite in handy!!
• Target on campus and ISR market are what i mainly used for getting food
• County Market is kinda like Trader Joes and has good vegetables from what i’ve heard

Medical [assumes an insurance we already have which OSF Healthcare is covered under]

• Make sure to opt out of the campus health insurance as soon as you can
• If you need to be seen relatively urgently, the McKinley doctors are pretty nice
  • Call to make an appointment and you could get same-day or within the next few days
• If it’s less urgent, go for OSF as that is covered by our insurance
• If you’re ever in a position where you need to get taken to the ER (hopefully never), go with OSF over Carle for the hospital for insurance reasons
  • They’ll ask you if you’re in the ambulance which you prefer
  • Have your insurance card on you or get parents on hold (having a friend there is ideal to do the parent stuff for you, can get quite overwhelming in the ER)
• Keep medicines in stock (Ibuprofen, Tylenol, etc)
• Also highly recommend purchasing a cold pack that can be made into a heat pack, I got mine from Walmart off campus in the beginning of sophomore year
• Homemade hot pack -- use lentils or rice in a ziploc and heat as needed
• Homemade cold pack -- freeze some water in a ziploc and add about ¼ or less of sanitizer to the water to keep it from being one piece
• Keep a first aid kit with you in your room and make sure it’s stocked just in case

These posts are all almost over 100 days old. They need to be solved. Newcomers please note: the older the post, the more points you earn.
All people with posts listed here need to check their posts for removed photospheres, streetviews that have been updated, and satellite photos which have been updated. If there are any changes, post a comment explaining what has changed and post an updated picture. Also check that all of your past hints are accurate.
🌎 This symbol indicates that the post is new to this list.
🌎 PS "Where is this flagpole?" Mountaintop covered with many large flat rocks. View of green valley and hills. https://www.reddit.com/guessthecity/s/C5zxsUnsO2
🌎 SV "One per Mongolian Aimag #3" https://www.reddit.com/guessthecity/s/NVmphpIEiO
🌎 PS Very large flat area of brown dirt. A white car in the foreground with its door open. https://www.reddit.com/guessthecity/s/Se6WVnpfI7
✅SOLVED Auckland Island / Motu Maha PS"Find this remote photosphere." A quiet body of water with vegetation at the shoreline in the foreground of the picture. https://www.reddit.com/guessthecity/s/EQKADX7SVq
🌎 PS "Where's the meat?" Pieces of meat hanging from a rack on strings. A city in the distance. 🧩Not Central Asia. 🧩Not part of the former Soviet Union. https://www.reddit.com/guessthecity/s/4yb3faOVQ4
✅SOLVED Issyk-Kul, Kyrgyzstan. PS An undulating coastline, a highway, and hills and mountains. 🧩Not South America. 🧩Not the Caspian Sea. 🧩Not the Mediterranean Sea. https://www.reddit.com/guessthecity/s/4Z8T4mAtyP
🌎 Where is this remote cemetery? Flat green area with only a few trees. 🧩Not in South America. https://www.reddit.com/guessthecity/s/rILmNN3FG5
🌎 PS A walking path leading to some rocky hills with low trees and shrubs and dry grasses in the foreground. 🧩 Europe. 🧩Not Romania but "not that far off". 🧩Not Greece but "somewhere in the general area". https://www.reddit.com/guessthecity/s/SmdgIPsiaa
🌎 Where is this building? Black and white interior (?) of a tall building. 🧩This is a university building. 🧩This is a Dutch-English speaking university. https://www.reddit.com/guessthecity/s/iVgQdqhC5G
🌎 PS Brown sand with tracks by a body of water. https://www.reddit.com/guessthecity/s/O9GOtxzixQ
PS Small red brick house alone in a grass field near the ocean. 🧩Southern Hemisphere. 🧩Not Argentina. https://www.reddit.com/guessthecity/s/3umH5hwgYj
PS View of a city from a tiled public area on a hill. https://www.reddit.com/guessthecity/s/nwueFRQkpv
GTC View of a city from the water. 🧩Not Hanoi nor Ho Chi Minh City. https://www.reddit.com/guessthecity/comments/18zk7r3/gtc/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=2&utm_term=1
PS Titled "Find this now cold photosphere". Shows a river or lake with an unusual bridge made entirely of young tree trunks. https://www.reddit.com/guessthecity/s/ZtlANmp3wk
🟪 ONE MCDONALDS PER EVERY U.S. STATE 🟪
Address needed. McDonald's #2 https://www.reddit.com/guessthecity/s/IpFcjWfjkN
Address needed. McDonald's #22 https://www.reddit.com/guessthecity/s/UwCodcouo2
🌎 Address needed. McDonald's #24 Flat area along a divided highway. https://www.reddit.com/guessthecity/s/85YxXXQV7L
🟪 ILES DE FRANCE SERIES 🟪
SV #1 Narrow road beside a few houses; lots of trees. https://www.reddit.com/guessthecity/s/aAb4nqlebt
SV #4 A performance area, outdoors. https://www.reddit.com/guessthecity/s/DyS5QnflUn
🟪 DISPUTED TERRITORY SERIES 🟪
👉See Wikipedia's List of Territorial Disputes https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_territorial_disputes
SV #1 Parking lot with white apartments beyond. https://www.reddit.com/guessthecity/comments/18n28cl/disputed_territory_1_find_the_streetview/
SV #2 Residential area with mountains in the distance. https://www.reddit.com/guessthecity/comments/18n2ax9/disputed_territory_2_find_the_streetview/
PS #4 Cemetery with a few houses beyond. https://www.reddit.com/guessthecity/comments/18n2x4s/disputed_territory_4_find_the_photosphere/
SV #6 Highway bridge over wide shallow river. 🧩Not Kashmir. ⁠https://www.reddit.com/guessthecity/comments/18n3vll/disputed_territory_6_find_the_streetview/
SV #19 Residential street. ⁠https://www.reddit.com/guessthecity/comments/18oty5u/disputed_territory_19_find_the_streetview/
PS #26 Some masonry buildings, steps, terraces. https://www.reddit.com/guessthecity/s/TYP8qTMXQL
🟪 TWO CITIES WITH SAME NAME SERIES 🟪
SVs(2) Two cities with same name, unnumbered. 🧩Not Birmingham. 🧩2nd photo is in UK. https://www.reddit.com/guessthecity/s/tcSEB3gWQK
SVs (2) Two cities with same name #4 - Cordoba in Argentina and Cordona, Spain. This is almost solved - all we need is street views for both. Just travel the google streetviews in each city until you find it. https://www.reddit.com/guessthecity/s/O7kgXM3DAM
🟪 U.S. NATIONAL PARK/FOREST/MONUMENT SERIES 🟪
PS U.S. National Park/Forest/Monument #25 🧩Not Great Smoky NP but rather a place further north. https://www.reddit.com/guessthecity/s/mIepesegjB
PS U.S. National Park/Forest/Monument #17 Steep rocky mountain slopes with pine trees, forming a V. https://www.reddit.com/guessthecity/s/6gCHexUfhS
PS U.S. National Park/Forest/Monument #13 Mountains, stream, meadow. https://www.reddit.com/guessthecity/s/kPAJSPyGlF
🟪 SOUTHEAST ASIA SERIES 🟪
Each of the original 11 posts are in a different SE Asian country. NOTE: the following countries have been solved, so that the remaining posts will NOT be in these countries: ✅ Indonesia ✅ Laos ✅ Thailand, ✅Timor-Leste (East Timor) ✅ Malaysia ✅ Brunei. ✅ Singapore
Southeast Asia PS #10 https://www.reddit.com/guessthecity/s/L7UXiHBw8R
Southeast Asia PS #5 🧩Not Cambodia or Vietnam. https://www.reddit.com/guessthecity/s/MDRbBrSW9s
Southeast Asia PS #2 https://www.reddit.com/guessthecity/s/uRBY32m7fe
Southeast Asia PS #1 🧩Not Luzon. https://www.reddit.com/guessthecity/s/oziLsK50wp
🟪🟪🟪
PS Deck or rooftop overlooking mountains in fog. 🧩Not in Europe. https://www.reddit.com/guessthecity/s/qlp8Qfv9e2
Aerial view of a hilltop with houses, 🧩in Asia. https://www.reddit.com/guessthecity/s/zwrXn2eWzc
PS A long line of people all in white shirts on a levee beside a marsh with some kind of balloons above. 🧩Not California. https://www.reddit.com/guessthecity/s/v8XZcg2Nyp
🟪 NICE MIX 🟪
👉 open the links to read the mysterious rhyming hints.
PS Nice Mix I. River or lake, dry hills, bridge. https://www.reddit.com/guessthecity/s/pAfAbIBrBq
PS Nice Mix VI. View across mountains with a snag. 🧩Not in North America. https://www.reddit.com/guessthecity/s/7k4VOsZqAb
PS Nice Mix X. Painting of a serious looking man. 🧩The man is British. https://www.reddit.com/guessthecity/s/1vkmEyBQGM
🟪🟪🟪
PS Hilltop in a mountainous area overlooking a valley. Tile-roofed house. https://www.reddit.com/guessthecity/s/9oJ0QSqdt3
GTC PS SV Country Trifecta https://www.reddit.com/guessthecity/s/s44oRgKidy
PS Drone shot of river valley, mountains, and houses along a narrow river. https://www.reddit.com/guessthecity/s/IM4kfl70QM
PS Man having a beer on a deck 🧩somewhere in Eastern Europe. https://www.reddit.com/guessthecity/s/P0UHyjwpmn
PS Park or camp with teepee, campfire circle, a pony, and another animal, possibly a small goat. 🧩Not in an area where you might normally see a teepee. Low mountains behind with a coniferous forest, probably pine. https://www.reddit.com/guessthecity/s/FSV6txtN0w
PS Snow covered area with small trees and snags looking like white sculptures; it looks like an area that has been clear-cut. Sunset or sunrise. Mountains in distance. https://www.reddit.com/guessthecity/s/zqc9w4sOCd
PS Landscape with mountains and valley. https://www.reddit.com/guessthecity/s/vR4ZvKJWfE
PS Remote falls, 🧩northern hemisphere, 🧩not Iceland. https://www.reddit.com/guessthecity/s/VthMuvHYUi
SV Rural or suburban area, very small restaurant with sign "Chinese Fast Food" sign, parking lots, grove of trees. https://www.reddit.com/guessthecity/s/zNYTaI1MY1
🟪 DRIFTLESS SERIES 🟪
SV (5) Driftless #1: In the Driftless Region in eastern Wisconsin, NE Iowa and SE Minnesota. https://www.reddit.com/guessthecity/s/kBNccfQ7Ci
SV (5) Driftless #2: in the Driftless Area - an unglaciated region that was originally flat, with eroded river valleys unlike the surrounding flat areas. https://www.reddit.com/guessthecity/s/oPUykjS5uq
SV (2) Driftless Transportation Image Bonus: one of gray woodframe house with several rusty looking antique cars and the other of a school bus parked on a grassy hill, in this unglaciated hilly region (the Driftless Area) in Wisconsin, Iowa, Minnesota. https://www.reddit.com/guessthecity/s/W3clozeYbW
🟪🟪🟪
Meandering brown river through dense tropical-looking forest, green covered bridge. https://www.reddit.com/guessthecity/s/aqXa0VLjaK
SV Rocky Road. Actually rocks placed intentionally on the wide shoulders of the road. 🧩In Africa, but 🧩not Kenya, Tanzania, or Uganda. 🧩The satellite view of this has been updated, so if you are searching from above, you need to know that the building under construction has now been completed, and there are no longer rocks on the road. PS checked 5-16-24. https://www.reddit.com/guessthecity/s/PJ3osdIsxV
SV Stop sign at a checkpoint area (🧩not a border between countries) with a red building; flat terrain; oil wells (pumpjacks); 🧩not in North America. https://www.reddit.com/guessthecity/s/b2pWDQkqm0
City in the distance, from low mountains with scattered trees; 🧩somewhere in between the Caucasus/central Asia areas. 🧩Probably Iran. https://www.reddit.com/guessthecity/s/ThXkygjSyM
PS Scenic view from mountains https://www.reddit.com/guessthecity/s/5GLgaKQMt3
A village which starts with a T. 🧩European but not British Isles 🧩or Croatia. 🧩Not Germany "but close". https://www.reddit.com/guessthecity/s/vZYMyEMW6o
✅SOLVED SV https://maps.app.goo.gl/h2N46kQvNSrH3mZp6 I found the matching North-East-facing mountain ridge in Google Maps 3D, and then I identified the road and traveled up and down to find the exact spot. This photosphere is from Aug 2014, and there is an updated one from Oct 2023 in the same spot without the car: https://maps.app.goo.gl/cNRQj8EoeGbBdLuj6Dirt road in mountains in France, Alpes-Maritimes Departement. https://www.reddit.com/guessthecity/s/NW2W1Q9KBP
PS 2 story white building looks like an old school; 🧩not in Lithuania or in a country bordering Lithuania, but it is directly south of it. https://www.reddit.com/guessthecity/s/9OBz21mspt
PS snowy apartment house, parking lot, "Timberline", #9; 🧩not Russia. https://www.reddit.com/guessthecity/s/aOVcKn1C6Z

This is probably a longer story than it really is, but I am just trying to give as much context as I can.
In grade 11, me (F16-17) and my ex-friend (F16-17) were best friends. For some context, we both became friends fairly early in high school. In my country high school is from grade 8-grade 12. I joined the high school in grade 8 from out of city, the high school is just closer to me than the one in my city, so I was a new kid. I made some friends in grade 8 as a new kid but those friendships did end in grade 9. Grade 9 is when my best friend, we'll call her Emily, transferred to the school. And we formed a friendship. Through grade 9 we had formed our own little friend group with 2 other girls, we'll name them Clara and Sabrina. It was the 4 of us through majority of high school. We would always text each other, always hang out after school, spend any break we had at school together and had as much fun as any girls in high school could have (minus the partying because my school is not a partying school).
Emily and I were the closet in the friend group, afterall we were pretty similar and come from similar backgrounds (We're both a type of asian). We both would be described as the smart kids. We both would end up getting high grades in all of our classes. In grade 9, when we met, she told the friend group her dream was to become a doctor like her parents were, so she studied extra hard in high school to keep her grades high. I, on the other hand, did not really have any specific dreams. I wanted to become a writer or even a lawyer (but was worried because I'm not the best speaker). Due to that, I never tried that hard at school. Like i care about grades, my parents cared a lot about me getting high grades, but I wasn't studying for anything. And with that I never really studied either, I would do my homework and pay attention in class and take pretty notes but I was not spending any real time after class to do work Which is something that Emily would do. She would spend hours and hours a day just studying. If she wasn't studying she would be doing some volunterring or some club stuff.
Fast forward to grade 11. Right from the beginning of the year something just felt odd about our relationship. She seemed distant. Which I chalked up to it being we were now considered seniors at our high school so she was starting to stress about universities already, but it was still whatever. My school worked in semesters, so for half of the year we would have 4 specific classes which would then switch to different classes in second semester. During first semester I didn't have any classes with any of my friends. I was just chilling in all of my classess and getting adopted into different group friends in those classes. I was always well-liked in high school, I was not a popular kid. But compared to all the smart kids in the school, I was deemed the nicest so because of that everyone would be nice to me and friendly (even though I know for some of them it was so they could get hw answers out of me, but they were still very nice to me).
During this time, my friends and I would make up plans to hang out. We always made it a point to hang out at least once a week outside of school. It was always after school, we would usually study, walk around or go to the mall. In our gc on insta we would always double check with one another on which days to do it. Clara, Sabrina and I would always talk in the gc and were always the ones initiating the plans. Emily was also in the gc but would rarely reply to anything. Any times we would make plans to hang out, Emily would either not reply (which would then lead us to asking her during lunch the next day if she was free, where she would barely talk) or she would just say no to all plans. The few times she would say yes, she would always cancel the day of. Which would be annoying, and Clara, Sabrina and I would talk amongst ourselves that we found it odd she would always cancel and never want to hang out outside of school, but we were like it's not that big of a deal. She could just be busy.
We then just ahead to my birthday. Now i have an early birthday and it falls around the time that we come back to school after the winter break. Now during the winter break, Clara, Sabrina and I formed a seperate gc as it would just be the three of us talking and making plans. We also always took so many pictures and felt bad about sending it into the gc with the four of us in it as we didnt want Emily to feel bad about not coming. So we figured it was better if we kept it seperate. But in the main gc, I just ask when is everyone free to do something small. I'm not really a birthday person. Since high school, all my birthdays include going to some cozy restauraunt with my 4 closest friends and just having a casual dinner. So I ask and everyone leaves their responses, including Emily. We decide on a day, it would be after school just a day or two after my actual birthday and we would be going to a restuarunt and an arcade nearby (I have strict parents so I really wasn't allowed to go out late or really go out anywhere far). The plan is made and everything is set. When the day comes for the dinnearcade, we all meet up by our lockers to go take the bus together.
The 3 of us are there waiting for Emily to come and she does just a few minutes late. That is when she tells us she can't come because she has a club meeting today, and she told us it was mandatory for us to attend. Now of course my friends and I tried to convince her to blow it off just this one time, but she was adamant about going. So, whatever. We say bye to her and start walking to the bus. While walking there we bump into a mutual friend, also waiting for the bus. She is also in the same club, so we confused why she was here. We do ask her, saying "hey isn't there something happening with the club today?" That is when she tells us there was just this small meeting recapping what had happened in last weeks meeting for the people who missed it. Meaning the meeting was not madatory at all, especially when Emily had cancelled our plans last week to go to this said meeting. Meaning she did sort of lie to get out of going to my birthday party. I of course was hurt by this. When she told us she had to go to the meeting, I didn't think much of it as I knew how much school mattered to her and how much doing this club stuff mattered. But she had the choice to come, and she decided to just blow me off. We went out and had fun and didn't bring the matter up with her. We figured it was just her caring a bit too much about school.
Anyways this whole cancelling plans last minute, ghosting the main gc thing happened more and more. It also got to the point where if I wanted to talk to her, whether that was through text or in real life I would always have to approach her first. As this carried on for a while, i of course was getting a bit annoyed about where this friendship was going.
We now get to Emily's birthday a month later. Now Emily decided to plan her birthday, very last minute. I am just pointing this out as i am not a person who can do spontaneous plans, one because i have this need to plan properly and two because I do have strict parents. So i can't just spring a plan on them the day of and expect to go. Which is something Emily knows. Anyways she makes the plan and i tell my mom about it to ask if i can go and she says yes. The day before, Emily then decides to change the plan entirely. We were going to go into downtown city (for context, it's roughly 2 hours transit from our neighborhood). I obviously had to ask permission as she wanted to stay out late which is not something my parents would like, so when Emily told us at lunch the change in plans, Clara, Sabrina I told her we had to double check if we can still go as we all have strict parents, but our extended friend group were all down to go.
After school, the four of us head into the bathroom, which is a toally normal thing for high school girls to do before we headed out. While there Emily then decides to start a fight with me about not going to her birthday, which hasn't happened yet. She starts yelling at me about how Im mad that she didn't go to my birthday and am not going to hers as revenge (I'll be honest, I kinda forgot she didn't go). And starts yelling at me about how I'm being a bad friend and frankly a b*tch. And when I say she is screaming at me, I mean there is the largest echo circling our bathroom as she yells at me. Now I'm just standing there, trying to reason with her. I'm just trying to explain to her that i didn't say i wasn't coming, i just needed to get permission to go, which is something that Clara and Sarbina said as well but Emily wasn't saying anything about them. She proceeded to just yell at me for a solid 5 minutes. Another girl did walk into the bathroom, saw Emily yelling and just left, which I feel bad about. I do not do well with someone yelling at me, so I just tell her that I'm leaving now and we can talk later. I practically run out of the bathroom and out of school. Clara runs up to me and says i can't go home feeling like this. I felt horrible, i felt like throwing up. So Clara makes it her job to cheer me up as Sabrina is trying to calm Emily down. Clara takes me to Mcdonalds, where we split a meal as that became a tradition of ours and she bought me ice-cream to make me feel better. We end up spending roughly and hour and half there before starting to walk back to our houses. I did feel a lot better and I was smiling. Clara didn't really say much about what happened as she knew it would upset me. She just said that Emily was being mean and left it at that. At some point during our walk, Emily calls Clara and starts screaming at Clara over the phone about choosing "my side". I only know it was Emily because I can hear her screaming through the phone and Clara is trying to be nice to her and say she was comforting her friend like a good one would do. Emily continues screaming and Clara just hangs up on her.
We don't talk about it. Now the next day, at school, is Emily's birthday. I feel so awkward. Because i'm still upset about what happened. When I see her, I'm not sure if I should wish her a happy birthday. I feel like I am owed an apology first. so i don't really say anything to her. and we don't really talk. Now we are in the same Chemistry honours class together and are lab partners. So we have to talk. I ask her, if we're going to talk about what happened. And she just says, no, it's my birthday. I just say really but she doesn't say anything after. So Im just like, fine, whatever. We spend the entire class in awkward silence, and I do not see her again the entire day. Even at lunch because she has a club meeting or something. Clara, Sabrina and I all agree that we don't want to talk about it. Clara got an apology text last night but she was still mad about being yelled at over the phone. Sabrina asked us if we wanted to know what her and Emily talked about yesterday but i said no. I was frankly too mad and knew if anything was said, I would be upset. Emily did not end up having a birthday party. and there is now an awkward silence between the 4 of us. it's like a horror movie, where the music is playing and you just know something bad is coming and you have to wait for it.
A few days later, I know i have to say something. I can feel that our friendship is hanging by a thread and I want my best friend back. So at lunch, while we're all sitting by our lockers I bring up the topic. I do not remember the conversation that took place. All I know was that Emily was practically screaming in my face, in front of all our friends (Clara, Sabrina and 5 of our other friends). Everyone is trying to get her to stop, but she keeps yelling at me. At some point I just start crying. Now this is the first time, that someone outside of my family, has ever made me cry. Its the first time I have ever cried at school too. The tears are flowing down my face as I just say "i'm sorry i cant do this" to the rest of our friends as i had off to the bathroom to calm down. Clara and one of our other friends rush off with me to try to calm me down and stop the tears. But they keep coming. I can't stop them and am now in the bathroom splashing my face with water and doing my best to wipe them all away. Clara, this other friend and i all have the same class next. So they have to literally drag me to class as I'm sort of paralyzed about whats happening. When we get to the classroom, everyone there, which was half of the class is looking at me and seeing my red, teared-up face. Our seats are at the very back corner of the classroom, on the very opposite side from the door. So i have to walk past the entire face as they all stare at me and wonder whats happening. the entire time im not really paying any attention. during little work periods in the class, my fellow classmates would walk up to me and ask if im okay. which i would say yes, i was even though i wasnt because what else could i say. I ended up powering through the rest of the day before going home and wonderign what to do.
In the secret gc, I text with Clara and Sabrina about what my next steps should be. They suggest we have an actual therapy session as a friend group to discuss if we even want to be friends at this point. I agree to this. I even start writing up my own speech I am going to tell Emily when i see her.
So I'm just going to jump ahead to whenever this happens. It's during lunch, outside on the grass field. I am calm, I know what to say and everything. I'm sitting there with Clara and Sabrina has to literally drag Emily out of school to come and talk. I kid you not. We have like an hour for lunch. It takes 20 minutes for Emily to finally show up. And she shows up like, "ugh what are we even doing here? im kinda busy" and just acts like there is nothing at all wrong. I start to calmly explain to her how ive been feeling the entire year. I do not remmeber the conversation. But what I remember talking about is how i feel like she's distant, she's always cancelling plans, im always the one texting her first, about how she gets mad at me for small little things, how she yells at me, etc. My whole speech was about how "i don't want to feel like sh*t for trying to continue this friendship". Because even after the first time she yelled at me, I just wanted an apology and we could move on and that didn't happen. And now Im just like I don't want to cry again and don't want my tears to come from someone who's supposed to be my best friend. She does argue her case in this. Her whole thing is how "i'm being clingy and annoying and controlling".
Now for her arguement, I think it should be known more about my persoanlity type. I am not the best people person. I have social anxiety and how that manifests in me is that i can't really talk to people that well. I don't know how to converse and get incredibly nervous to talk to anyone new. So when I do become friends with someone, I do latch on to them. I talk to them all the time, when i can, and they become my person. I think that is where the clingy party comes from. For the controlling/annoying thing, I can only chalk it up to me always texting her. Like i said, i would always have to be the one initating our conversations and plans. So our chats always look like 5 bubbles of text from me (because i am the person that types in multiple bubbles rather than one large text bubble) and her short responses. When it comes to plans, as I said i do not do spontaenous plans. I need to have them properly organized for both my parents sakes and my sake. I'm not someone who plans everything out minute by minute, I just need to know times and places. And if you are actually free.
Thankfully this time, Emily isn't yelling at me however she is talkimg a bit loudly. Now at this point we have spent 25ish minutes talking about this when she suddently gets up and says "i have to go otherwise i'll be late for my class and get in trouble". Which there is still 15 minutes before lunch ends. And her classroom is across the hallway from my next class with Clara. The walk from the grass field was literally 2 minutes. Our coversation wasn;t done. There was no convlusion and no real understanding on either part. So all of us get up as Emily starts speed walking and we all chase her. We're all telling her there is still so much time left, but she doesn't listen and still carries on. So then I say, "i don't want to be friends anymore if this is what it's going to be like". and she says "fine." and walks away. and that was the end of our friendship.
It was almost spring break and our friends were doing their best to navigate the situation. I think they believed we both needed time to cool down and we can all be friends again. However that didn;t happen. Emily and i agreed to be civil as we still had the same friend group but she never really hung out with us in the next couple days, or talked during lunch and that was it.
The two of us did not talk at all. The only times we did was in our Chemistry class, where she did the most un-civil thing ever. As I said we were lab partners. Anytime we had any lab, involing the microscope, I would always be the person doing the microscope work as Emily writes down the results of what I found. I would then get the numbers or obersations from her and add them to my worksheet as our teacher wanted us to work in partners but submit our own work. This one lab went off for too long and the bell rung. So as we are packing up quickly, I ask Emily for the numbers she wrote down. She said she's late for something and will send me the numbers later today. And I'm like fine. She never did. It was also a Friday so we went into the weekend and she never sent me anything. I did text her once on Saturday and another time on Sunday if she could send it. but she never replied and i just asked another classmate if they could send me their answers. If our teacher asked why did we as partners have different answers, I was going to tell him Emily wouldn't give them to me. He never did ask and that was the last time we really talked.
We then headed into spring break which ended up turning into the pandemic lockdown. Now I feel so bad when saying this, as i know this was a difficult time for so many people. But me as a 17-year-old high school studnet, loved the first few weeks of lockdown. I saw it as a mental health break as all the stuff that went down with Emily did in fact put me into a depression phase (I actually do have depression and i do end up in mini-phases where its really bad). The lockdown gave me time to breathe as it felt like i was holding my breath for so long and i could relax. Now in the fall, our school did a hybrid for our last year. Which was fine, it was weird but managable. Emily did not talk to me, Clara or Sabrina at all during our seniour year. We graduated and my friends and I had the best time we could under pandemic restrictions.
Current day, I (21) am now in university. Clara and Sabrina and I are as close as ever and have managed to keep our friendship alive and strong even 3-4 years outside of high school and while all attending different universities. We still hang out regularly (once every week or so) and text all the time. And would you believe it, Emily goes to my university. Remember, how I said she wanted to become a doctor. Yeah so her plan was to go to university in Toronto for some medicine thing. I don't really know. She didn't do that. Instead she stayed in our city and decided to do business instead. What am I doing, you ask? Also business. Now I know I can't claim a school, or a major or anything like that. But i can't lie, im a little annoyed that she decided to swtich her career path to the same as mine. Thankfully Ive only had one class with her and it was one of those big lecture halls so i didn't have to talk with her. Just seeing her tho reminds me of high school and i can feel my blood pressure rising and me sweating as all the nerves and stress come back.
Anyways Clara and Sabrina's birthdays are coming up. Their birthdays are within the same week so since high school, they've always just done one big combined party. The two of them are both really chill people, they are friends with everyone and anyone. So as their coming up with their birthday plans, they are thinking of their guest list and Emily is on it. Now, Clara and Sabrina did ask me beforehand if they could invite her. They do want to make sure I am comfortable. They both tell me that they don't really talk to her anymore, maybe once every 3 months or something. They also haven't hung out since high school. But for their 21st birthday they are thinking of inviting everyone from our high school friend group to have sort of a mini-reuinion. I am down for it, I do think i have moved on, in the sense that I know I do not want Emily in my life. I do tell them I will probably feel awkwad but I can manage for one night for their birthday.
As I'm telling my sister (F16) about Clara and Sabrina's party and who's coming, she asks me about Emily. She basically says if Clara and Sabrina are fine with inviting her, that means they have forgiven her for high school stuff, so am I not being a bit mean for holding on to my feelings? I am a person who believes there is no expirational date on any pain caused by a person. I should not have to "forgive and forget" a person, who has not asked for it and who caused me so much pain just because that is how the world has worked. But it go me thinking, am i being a bit rude?
So, two questions: AITA for what happened in high-school? (am i in the wrong for the friendship breakup) and AITA for not wanting to forgive her?
A FEW NOTES: (i'll add more when i think of it)
I have not spoken to Emily since grade 12. Not in person, not through people, not through text. We have had no contact with one another and i am fine with that. I do not want any relationship with her.
Clara and Sabrina are two of the sweetest people in my life. It does not hurt me at all they have the odd interaction with Emily at all. Afterall they do say its very minimal contact and the few times they have made plans with Emily included, they let me know well in advance, ask if its okay to invite her and all that. Each time I say its fine because I know Im in a good place to not feel bad.
I have never yelled at Emily. Nor have I ever spoken badly about her. With our mutual friends I might complain about the situation, but I never say anything bad about her. I should also say, Emily i don't think was well-liked. As I said the two of are good students, the smart kids, whatever else you want to say. However Emily is what would be described as a "teacher's pet" and does give off an arrogant vibe at times towards others. Some of my other friends/classmates would sometimes make comments about this to me, but i would always sort of downplay it. Like, oh that's not how she really is, she just cares a lot about school. A few times I would say the comments are harsh to some of the classmates. Her, on the other hand, has called me a controlling b*tch to several people. who have all told me about it. She did bad-mouth to quite a few people.
At some point in grade 11 (not really relevant to the main story, but might be part of the reason Emily's always made at me), but I was blamed for a rumour going around that Emily had a crush on this guy in our grade. Emily and I had to go to this one teacher's class for some notes or something. And in the class was this girl who I didn;t really like. So before we walk in I whisper to her, no one can hear, that "hey there's that girl i don't like". Emily then makes it so obvious that she is looking at this girl. And next to her is one of the popular boys in our class. Emily makes it so obvious that shes looking in his direction and does it a few times, that the rumour she likes this guy becomes a huge joke in our grade. She does not like this guy, never has liked this guy, but it is a joke that him and his friends carry on. This continues for the entire year, and Emily in our therapy session does mention this fact. She says its my fault that this joke has gone around. I don't see how.

I just cried sleeping beside my mum for god knows how long and finally woke up to ask for advice. I'm broke as shit and the last time I tried to ask my parents for therapy, things went so bad that I almost wanted to puke. Thats why I'm here on reddit. please excuse me for any grammatical errors as I can barely see and think through my tears and brain fog.
Siblings fight each other, right? its normal. I've fought with my brother plenty of times before when we were children and we always forgot about it. i have many fond memories with him, memories that make me smile whenever I think about them. But recently I've been seeing just how spoiled he became. here's some context:
he's 24/7 on laptop or tv playing games and watching anime. i mean literally 24/7. from the second he wakes up to the second he sleeps. my parents are great, they provide us with so many things, everything except love and attention. they think that just because they sacrificed buying something for themselves, we are supposed to feel like they love us. don't get me wrong, I do appreciate it, but i'd much rather stay at home and play monopoly with them than go to a 5-star hotel to watch them fight about how expensive it is and how I should be more grateful while they stay on their phones all the fucking time. anyways, my brother is extremely neglected emotionally and I know for a fact that he has terrible anger management issues.
i know this because I'm the one that has to put up with his upbringing. We once went out to a family gathering with all of our extended families, and if you guys know asian families, a LOT of people will be present. We were all talking when I caught him seeing anime girls on yt shorts on my mom's phone. mind you, he isn't even 12 yet. see, I'm in no way a good person, I'm probably very very fucked in the head but I did not want him to be like that. the day I got into porn was the day a part of my soul died and even tho I quit now, I never recovered from that. i didn't want him to go thru that so I told him to stop and we fought abt it. mind you, we were still at the gathering so I was being quiet and telling him that we'll talk later. i don't remember what exactly triggered him, but he started hitting me and grabbed my arm. i have long nails, and I scratched him while trying to pull away. he started crying and screaming and yelling while grabbing me and hitting me non-stop. he isn't thin or weak by any means, so it stung. a lot. and I had to just shut up and be quiet and endure it without a word because hey, I'm the "good" kid, right? if I had said something, my parents would have scolded me for humiliating them. well, it isn't like they didn't scold me anyways, I provoked him, apparently. its my fault either ways. they entire family ended up yelling at me, saying things like "I know elder kids, they're always making fun of the younger ones." and stuff that really stung.
this other time, he hit me in an office lobby while we were waiting for my mom. today, he hit me at my cousin's house because we made a joke abt him. i walked over to him knowing he'll get offended and told him "I'm not making fun of you. I'm sorry for saying that, we didn't mean that and you know it." and we all apologised to him. the joke btw, was about how he went swimming w another cousin of ours and we saw him playing at the pool w a girl. we knew it wasn't a girl, but when we said it was he used to get irritated and chase us around laughing, so it was an old joke. well, as soon as I was done, he slapped my face. it wasn't hard, but he slapped me. and stormed off and complained to my mom saying I was making fun of him. my mom came and lectured me in front of my cousins, and I had to smile after she left because hey, I'm a good kid. because I'm obedient and disciplined. oh god, this brings back memories about how my dad used to slap me in front of many people and I had to pretend that I was wrong and smile at people while I died on the inside. i was 11. why don't they yell at him like they yelled at me? why me? they don't even hug me. they push me away. why cant I be hugged? don't I deserve to be hugged?
whenever they do realise that my brother's being an ass, they yell at him and it always, ALWAYS fucking ends with him yelling screaming crying at the top of hid lungs and slamming doors and my mom always goes and hugs him and comforts him. if she can hug him even when he does so many awful things, why can they hug me? i go to hug her and she fucking pushes me away saying "please, stay away". the face she makes while saying it, I think I die a little everytime she does it.
she hugs me sometimes, but immediately pushes away, after she feels satisfied with her parenting. i know I'm not a good person, and I haven't done great things, but do I really not deserve a fucking hug?
I'm sorry, I'm spiralling out of the main topic. its 2 am and I'm hiding in my washroom and typing and my laptops gonna die soon. i just don't know what to do. i didn't ask to be my brother's parent. i didn't want to raise him, and I did a terrible job at that. i passed down my generational trauma to him. no doubt. he asks me for help and I criticize him rather than helping. i will end the generational trauma by ending the generation. i don't think I'm fit to be a parent. i think that's because I'm fucking 15. I love my parents. they sacrificed their lives for me. but I didn't fucking ask for it. oh my god, I remember the time I got sexually harassed in a bus and my mom rolled over and went back to sleep as I yelled. lololol. good times. anyways, good night. i shall go and cry some more.
edit: forgot to mention, I have a viral infection and my left jaw is swelled and it hurts. badly. he slapped me there knowing this. for the second time today btw, he hit this morning at home but I forgave. also, I apologised after we got home because.. you guessed it. I'm the good kid. i will always be a good kid. nothing else. just a 10/10 certificate in studies for them to brag about. i wanna go away from home, but I guess this is home.

Original price $1225/month, now $1000 (negotiable)
Facilities: Private bathroom and walk-in closet, furnished, in-unit washer and dryer, ready to move in. The building has a mailroom, Amazon hub, gym, yoga room, swimming pool, study room, and BBQ area. The room window is next to the bed with a great view from the 17th floor.
Location: 15-minute walk to CMU/Pitt, with bus stops (71C/71A/82/5/P3) and a shuttle stop. Downstairs there is a 24-hour CVS, hotpot and bubble tea shop, and South Asian grocery store. 10-minute drive to Giant Eagle, Aldi, and Whole Foods; 15-minute drive to Trader Joe's and Target.
Two roommates: an American female student at UPitts and a Chinese male working in Pittsburgh for the summer. They both have regular, quiet lifestyles.
https://preview.redd.it/43r5f87rtt0d1.jpg?width=1280&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8c8edb90cb0fea3b0b6b8d47017030ae845075ef
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https://preview.redd.it/0sopeywatt0d1.jpg?width=1280&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c2ffb563a4bcb2f214b53379d85b37001a63d2f9
Campus View Room A

Hey guys, I'll make this quick.
I need help choosing between colleges for my last two years. I'm transferring from a CC. Important info: I'm 29 Years old and my car is on its last leg.
My two options are School L and school T.
School L has a really nice medium sized campus, small classes and is 15 min from my house. The Public bus drops off in front of it so if my car completly dies, I can still get to school. There's lots of ways to get involved and meet people with clubs and activities for students.
Cons are that it's $40k a year and they're only offering about $13k in scholarships. Also, they're a religious school, and the demographic is young white rich republican (I'm 30, poor, and Asian, so I worry about making friends and networking). I also worry that the school won't be as challenging since it's not known for a great Engineering program.
School T also has a campus about the same size, small classes and is actually recognized for their engineering program as being one of the best in the state. they offer special research programs for my concentration since it's a Public research university so the opportunity to network and find internships/jobs is higher. The cost without aid is only $9k a year. It's also much more diverse
Cons: it's almost 2 hours away and my car is probably not going to last the last two years. Moving closer isn't an option since I can't afford to work full time to cover rent and finish in two years. My current job is very flexible around my school schedule so I could work on days I'm not on campus.
That's about it. Please help me decide as I need to get enrolled soon.
And Hopefully this is allowed...

My name is Emily. I'm from the United States and I wanted to end my 20's with a bang, and I'm happy to say that I ended my 20's in Korea.Actually, Korea was not a country that I had much to do with.Originally, I was a person who was immersed in Japanese culture since college.Japanese anime became my friend. There's a lot of interesting things about Japanese anime, like the fact that they depict real places in Japan, and they depict real food, and so I fell in love with Japan, and I even traveled to Japan a couple times, and I thought that Japan was the sum of everything that I longed for.
But then, in my late 20s, I met a friend who would change my life. It was a simple meeting with a long-lost college classmate, Sarah, who had gone on to work at a large firm in New York City, and whom I had shared anime and Japanese food with in my dorm room in college. She told me honestly that she had recently traveled to Korea and was seriously thinking about moving there. Unfortunately, the large company she worked for in New York had recently gone through a business crisis, and she was laid off.
She said that she was confused by the sudden betrayal of a well-known company, and to clear her mind, she went to the airport with the intention of leaving anywhere. She thought she would go to Japan, but when she arrived at the airport, she changed her mind. When she thought back to the places and restaurants she frequented most often while working at the company in New York, she remembered that she often went to Korean streets and Korean supermarkets in New York, and she thought that going to Korea on an impromptu trip was a really good idea, so she chose to go to Korea rather than Japan, which she already knew.
And buying a plane ticket on the spot at the airport was more than twice as expensive as booking a ticket in advance, but Sarah said that she didn't care, because she was depressed after being fired from her job, and she went to the airport to leave, but the curiosity about Korea that came over her made her want to leave right away, even if she had to pay for the expensive plane ticket.
He expressed that although he went to the airport courageously, he knew that the plane ticket would be too expensive, and he thought that maybe he should just go back home again, but his curiosity about Korea came from somewhere deep inside him, and it exploded like a bomb, and he was naturally drawn to it.
Sarah, who likes emotional things like essays and poems in college and enjoys such poetic expressions, but even so, I wondered if it was a little overdone, but when she said that she had been to Korea, I became more focused on her story.
However, I was able to understand why she expressed herself in such an over-the-top way after listening to her Korean stories.
"Korea is an amazing place, the people are so kind and warm, and most of all, the employment system is very well organized. There are many programs and support for job seekers, which is very helpful for people who are in a difficult situation like me."
When Sarah started with this story, I realized that she was really traumatized by being laid off.Now, she had been through a big ordeal and was in the process of recovering from it through Korea, so I decided to focus more on her story."You said you traveled to Korea, so what else did you do?" I asked."For example, what kind of programs were there?" I asked her.
"I happened to visit a job fair in Korea," she said, "where job seekers can get free career counseling and get the training they need." "I got a lot of help there, and it gave me the strength to get back on my feet, and maybe even get a job in Korea." "And most of all, the work culture in Korea is really family-like," she said, "I was impressed by how much my coworkers cared about each other and supported each other."
Sarah said that she was curious about what Korea was like, so she visited a large convention center in Korea and participated in various fairs, one of which was a job fair, and she interviewed with several Korean companies, and the Korean companies were ready to accept her as a colleague if she applied as an American. I also learned that Korea has many companies with global reach, and they are open to foreigners with various experiences, but in Korea, unless it is a large company, people don't prefer them, so if it is a small company, they want foreigners, but there is a sad reality that no one applies.
Unlike in the U.S., where you have to report your performance every week, and if you fall short, you are threatened with termination, Korean companies are definitely not more performance-oriented than in the U.S. They value their employees and do everything together to grow together, not threaten them with termination. In the past, I knew that corporate culture in Asian countries such as Korea was more collectivistic than individualistic, and as a student, I thought that such a collectivistic culture was a bad culture with a high level of disease in Asia, but after experiencing social life in the United States, I heard that the tendency of companies to be extremely individualistic, talking about job insecurity, and treating people ruthlessly, caused me to be fired from a good job overnight, and the future plans I had planned in advance became uncertain, and I even talked about envying the Korean culture that does not have such disadvantages.
Sarah, who has never worked in Korea, but was always afraid of being fired, said that she learned a lot about Korean corporate culture by interviewing many Korean company officials.
She said that she even considered settling down and living in Korea because, besides the culture, there were so many other conveniences and benefits.
She talked about her experience of working in New York, being left alone in the office to get things done because of her performance, having to leave late at night and being afraid to go home, sleeping in the hotel next door, and having to live with the exorbitant rent in Manhattan and the two-hour round-trip commute to work, and how she realized that unlike in the U.S., where it is difficult to see a doctor, she would not have to worry about these things in Korea.
Sarah's story made me even more curious about Korea.The warmth, systematic system, and various charms that she experienced in Korea couldn't help but have a great impact on me.I've been experiencing a lot of stress every day due to the pressure of performance and the threat of being fired, and I've recently been undergoing expensive psychotherapy.I decided to learn more about Korea, and eventually decided to travel to Korea.
Of course, I didn't travel to Korea with the intention of moving to Korea or settling down in Korea, but rather to spend my last 20s in a new country, Korea, and to see a different world than the familiar Japan.
I made my preparations and headed to Korea sooner than I expected, arriving ten days before my birthday and extending my itinerary beyond what I had originally planned, staying in Korea until after my birthday and then flying back to the United States.
The first day I finally arrived in Korea, I started walking around the streets of Seoul.The first thing that greeted me was the warm spring weather in Korea.The sky was clear and the air was crisp.I was told that it is common for Asia to have very bad air quality in the spring due to the influence of China, but I didn't have to deal with that during my trip.
The streets of Korea are very different from the United States, and everything was new to me.There were many beautiful flowers in bloom, and the well-maintained trees were really beautiful.It has been a long time since the common people's neighborhoods in the United States have such beautiful landscaping because of people who destroy these trees and flowers for no reason, or secretly take them and sell them.But this was not the case in Korea.The streets were like a beautiful flower garden.
I was walking down a beautiful street lined with flowers, and I was looking at them, looking at the big big map that was displayed on the screen at the bus stop.I was just curious to see what my neighborhood looked like, so I was looking at the map and taking my time, and a middle-aged woman came up to me and said, "Where are you looking for?" She didn't speak fluent English, but I was so grateful that she was trying to help. I was too embarrassed to tell her that I was just looking at the map, so I told her one of the destinations I was planning to go to, and she gave me direct directions to the place I was looking for, and I was able to get there without any difficulty.This unexpected kindness opened my eyes to the Korean people and warmed my heart at the same time.
I was ready to accept everything in Korea with an open mind.The first impression was very good, I was touched by the kindness of the people.I couldn't ask for anything more from Korea.The food was so fresh and amazing to me.I visited Gwangjang Market, a famous traditional market in Korea.
Unlike a regular restaurant, it was a place where you could sit down and try a variety of food. As a traditional market, it was full of Korean food. There were no pizza, pasta, or burger joints, but I liked it better that way. It was a place where you could see the traditional look and feel curious about everything.
I also tasted foods such as tteokbokki sundae and hotteok.Everything else was fine, but I was a little worried when I first tried sundae because it looked so strange and a little gross, but I decided to give it a try and the moment I put it in my mouth, the rich flavor filled my mouth.Korean food often seems difficult to eat, but when you try it, you can see why it is so popular in Korea.
I stayed at Gwangjang Market for a long time and tried a lot of different foods, especially kimchi and pajeon, which I still remember because of their crispy texture and spicy flavor. I would recommend them to everyone.Experiencing the deep flavors of Korean food firsthand made me fall in love with Korean food.
And then there was a shocking thing that happened to me in Korea.I was having a lot of fun traveling around Korea and everything was interesting, because Korea is really the best place to be, you know, you're running around, you're busy, you're going from place to place, and I had the misfortune of losing my passport, which was really stupid.
I was traveling in Korea, and I got an international call. Someone was calling me from Korea, and when I saw the international call indicator on my phone and realized that the call was from Korea, I had a million questions.
I thought I shouldn't answer the call, but then I realized that it was an international call, and I thought maybe they were calling me because they had some business to take care of. I answered the call, and I was told a really crazy story, because I heard a calm English voice asking if it was Emily, and she introduced herself as a police officer and asked if I could come to the nearest police station.
I thought I had done something terribly wrong, because I had just eaten delicious tteokbokki and sundae, kimchi and pajeon, and I was so happy to eat them, and afterward I was just walking around the streets of Korea, smelling the flowers and seeing the pretty trees.
I started to check my belongings one by one and realized that my small pouch containing my passport and some of the money I had exchanged was missing.
I quickly headed to the police station, which was where I was told to go, and from the front gate, I was controlled as to what I was visiting.
The great thing about Korea is that even for someone like me who doesn't speak Korean, it's not difficult to navigate these government offices. Not all Koreans speak English, but at least the ones I've met have been able to communicate with me in a simple way. Even if they don't speak perfect sentences, they understand most of the words, so I was able to communicate the reason for my visit to the police station.
I had never been to a police station before, even in the U.S., but here I was in Korea, and I was greeted by friendly people.The pouch with my passport in it had my contact information written on the inside, and they said they would contact me with that.The bag was found in a marketplace, and the first person to report it was the stall owner of the place where I had my first sundae.It also had all of my clean, new Korean money in it, which I had exchanged separately.
I was so impressed with how conscientious Koreans are and how good they are that I was able to find the pouch, sign the paperwork, and walk out of the police station.
I went back to Gwangjang Market, and when I got there, the owner recognized me and looked like he was about to say something. I held out the bag and showed it to him, and he smiled and liked it.
I thanked the Korean boss, and we ate another snack on the spot. It was an experience that made me realize how heavenly Korea is.
And like Sarah said, I didn't just want to see how clean and pretty Korea is, I wanted to see what an American working in Korea could do and what life would be like.Through the Reddit community, I was able to get in touch with Americans working in Korea and even met some of them in person.
David, the American I met, works for a company that is not a large Korean company, but rather a small or medium-sized company. As Sarah said, Korea is a country where products are produced for the global market, and many things are actually exported overseas.
However, in Korea, unless it is a large company, every company is experiencing a job shortage, and because of the atmosphere in Korea, where foreigners are not welcome at all, it is not difficult to get a job in a company that specializes in exporting overseas, even if you are in the United States.
And David told me that he put all his passion into the first company he worked for in the U.S., and even made a lot of money for the company, but when he didn't perform, the company fired him without mercy, and he said that he was so shocked, not to mention the feeling of betrayal, that he took depression medication at that time, and it was so hard that he took depression medication, and then he found Korea by chance and settled in Korea, and now he is so happy. He told me that he was fired from his job because of the unrelenting treatment in the U.S., that he found a second chance in Korea, and that he is happy with his life here.
I'm not sure I have the courage to move to Korea right now, but I learned that there are a lot of people like Sarah and David who have been hurt so badly that they end up leaving the country. I'm scared that this could be my future, but I also learned that Korea is an option for me if it happens to me.My trip ended like this: experiencing the culture, food, and hospitality of Korea, and getting to meet and talk to Americans living in Korea, made my trip much more rewarding than my trip to Japan, which could have been an anime trip.
Korea has given me new perspectives and experiences, shattered my notion that Japan is only good, broadened my horizons, and opened my eyes to another gem that is Korea.
I now like to say to my friends, "Go to Korea, you'll see how good it is." Korea has taught me so much, and I will cherish my experience in Korea, which now holds a special place in my heart.
If Sarah goes to Korea and settles down, I will be there to congratulate her and support her in her new relationship in Korea.

Bit of a longer post, sorry bout that, but I felt it was time, perhaps once again, to point out the flaws and limitations in the CDC’s stats on sexual violence, specifically as they relate to the National Intimate Partner Sexual Violence Survey (NISVS), which is the source of all the fun stats on sexual violence that get thrown around by the 451 percenters. Who are the 451 percenters? Those the folks who believe and spread the lies bout sexual violence being endemic to society. Everyone’s a sexual predator! All 451 percent of women are violated, and all 451 percent of men are violators.
TL;DR: An analysis and rebuttal to the CDC and NISVS’s statistics on sexual violence. The CDC uses NISVS to generate the stats on punny sexual violence that make wild claims, like one third of all women, etc… the 451 percenters’ claims bout punny sexual violence. They use a ‘yes means yes’ method of determining what counts as punny sexual violence, which is aesthetics based. Elevating aesthetical concerns to ethically obligatory concerns is fascistic, and a grave moral fallacy. ‘Yes means yes’ is also puritanical, meaning it overly moralizes sexuality. Putting puritanical fascists in charge of determining how many punny sexual offenses are happening is like putting the KKK in charge of determining how many jews are sexual predators. “All 451 percent of them, obviously!”
Body Of The Post
‘Yes means yes’ is an aesthetical ethical concern, ‘Do I want it or not’. This is what the National Intimate Partner Violence Survey (NISVS) and the CDC use and reflect in their stats on sexual violence. Vibes. They are the ‘emmitt till got what he deserved’ crowd. Whistling at a lady is a criminalizable offense to these folks, a ‘punny sexual violence’.
‘No means no’ is an ethically obligatory concern, ‘Did I refuse it or not’. This is what the criminal stats on sexual violence use and reflect in their stats on sexual violence. Hard data. They are the ‘emmit till did nothing wrong’ crowd. Whistling at a lady is at most tasteless, emmitt till could do far better.
‘Wanting’ or ‘Not Wanting’ something does not consent make. I can want to fuck someone, but not consent to do so. I could not want to fuck someone, but nonetheless consent to do so. The former perhaps because I think it is a bad idea to fuck ‘em even tho I want to. The latter, perhaps because I think it is a good idea to fuck ‘em even tho I don’t want to.
The ‘yes means yes’ folks, the CDC & NISVS stats on sexual violence all mistake ‘wanting’ and ‘not wanting’ for ‘consenting’ and ‘not consenting’; these are not the same things. This is deliberate on their part too. They believe that ‘yes means yes’ is what ought to constitute a determination of sexual violence. Regardless of how y’all view that, it is a deeply controversial notion, and not necessarily reflective of what most people think of when they think of sexual violence.
‘Unwanted’ essentially means ‘I don’t like it’. It is a complaint bout the aesthetical qualities of the sexual encounter, not its consensualism. If this is at all unclear, the simplest method to understand why this is so is to note two unrelated aspects.
One is racism. People regularly ‘feel fearful’ of men for no reason at all, but they also feel fearful of men because of racism all the time. That fear factor ™ is what makes the encounter ‘coercion’ or ‘unwanted’. The person literally does nothing wrong, *just exists* and the other person freaks out.
Note in the quoted sections at the end of this post how much of the stats rely on fear and feelings to generate their numbers.
Two is the person came on too strong or in an undesirable way. The person flirts in a normal and perfectly fine way, but the other person freaks out. Think bout it people, for the love of god think bout it. ‘Coming on too strong’ and ‘an undesirable flirtation’ are being counted as ‘punny sexual violence’ in these stats.
It’s entirely puritanical, and entirely a concern bout aesthetics.
There are other sorts of coercive methods, but the point here is that the terms ‘unwanted’ and ‘coercion’ only really cash out as ‘I don’t like it for some reason or another’ in the CDC’s and NISVS’s stats.
When you see that lady spouting off bout her fears of mexican rapists, she’s reflected in these stats folks. They’re just surveys. People who lock their car doors in ‘bad neighborhoods’ are reflected in those stats.
These all translate to ‘I felt threatened’ (big black boy vibes) or ‘felt pressured’ (scary white guy vibes), or ‘felt in danger’ (native american coming to get you vibes), or ‘felt uncertain if you wanted it’ (arab terrorist vibes) or 'felt like I was being manipulated' (angry asian martial artists vibes) . Doesn’t have to be racism at play here either, women can be irrationally fearful of any man. Vibes.
The actions themselves are not criminalizable.
Non p-hacked stats try to avoid these kinds of obvious ambiguities in the language used to generate the 451 percenters’ stats. These folks however lean into the lies and deceptions, and deliberately use language designed to deceive people reading the stats into thinking that people have been harmed. They take language that means literally ‘I like or don’t like it’ and translate that to mean ‘I was sexually harassed, sexually assaulted, or even raped’.
This is how they inflate the numbers, so we get to the 451 percenters’ wacky ass beliefs; ‘451 percent of women will suffer egregious sexual violence to them at least fifty times in their lives’. All this means is vibes. 451 percent of women get some bad vibes bout some dudes.
You can hear it echoed in the bear or man discourse. Why do women choose the bear? Vibes and irrational fears. ‘We choose the bear because we don’t feel safe!’ translates directly to ‘Emmitt till whistled at me, and he’s a big black boy, that’s scary’ and ‘the mexican rapists are swarming over the border to get me’.
These are the stats that people point to when they try to justify their misandristic hot ass takes. They are self-referential to that same fear based aesthetic the stats are. The stats are reflective of peoples’ irrational fears, and people use those stats to justify their irrational fears, and people spread those fear based stats thereby spreading their unjustified fears. It’s a circle rub.
To criminalize these kinds of things is to be fascistic (treating aesthetics as if they were of obligatory concern), to believe that they are morally reprehensible is to be a puritan (overly moralizing sexuality).
The folks deriving these stats translate ‘unwanted’ (aesthetical ethics) to ‘sexual assault’, ‘sexual harassment’, or ‘rape’ (obligatory ethics), then lump everything together as ‘punny sexual violence’ to get the big numbers used to scare people and terrorize men. That’s called fascism.
“[T]here remains a likelihood of underreporting due to the sensitive nature of SV”.
This justification means that they do not trust people to report SV, ‘don’t believe women when they say they haven’t suffered any SV, manipulate the questions so they say yes to something they don’t think is SV, or which simply isn’t SV, and we’ll just call it SV of this or that sort. Later we’ll propagandize people so they too come to believe our puritanical misandristic hot ass takes.’
There is no lie nor hyperbole in what I am saying here. That is the rationale and the method. If you bone up on your academic lit in the topic, this is, well not verbatim what they say, I am lambasting them here, but this is the crux of what their argument and justifications are, and they explicitly hold that they ought be propagandizing people to their puritanical beliefs.
They push the fascistic (aesthetical ethical) and puritanical (overly moralized sexual ethics) discourse into the public by presenting stats that merely reflect fears and pretend that they are reflective of sexual violence. People then come to believe that those kinds of fear based concerns are actually sexual violence. An ‘unwanted flirtation’ becomes in their minds and only in their minds a sexual violence.
Emmitt till got lynched for whistling at a lady. They only disagree bout the racism, but he definitely deserved to be punished in some way like all men do for whistling at someone they think is hot af. Puritanism.
All just vibes, all but aesthetics, and all fascistically raised to a level of ethically obligatory concern.
“Just as SV is not limited to physically forced penetration, its perpetrators are not limited to strangers. Indeed, perpetrators of SV are more likely to be someone known to the victim. Sexual violence is a problem embedded in our society and includes unwanted acts perpetrated by persons very well known (e.g., family members, intimate partners, and friends), generally known (e.g., acquaintances), not known well or just known by sight (e.g., someone in your neighborhood, person just met) and unknown to the victim (e.g., strangers). “
Be afraid of everyone, any man out there could be your next rapist! That’s right ladies and gents, you’ve been raped several times already, you just didn’t know it. But don’t worry, the statisticians know better. They asked you an unrelated question you said yes to since you were too dumb to know that you were raped, and counted it as rape. Then they informed you that you ought be afraid of everyone in your community, lest they also rape you, unbeknownst to you of course. But again, don’t worry, the statistician will count those too.
As a measure of fear the 451 percenters capture, well or worse who knows, all the racism, sexism, bigotry, and various phobias in the society, and how those fears are transferred onto masculine bodies as imaginary perpetrators of punny sexual offenses. None of it is real, there are not 451 percent of sexual violences happening, 451 percent of men are not sexual predators, and 451 percent of women are not victims of sexual violence.
‘Safety culture’ mostly reflects irrational fears.
Ask the kkk how many black people are rapists, you’re gonna get a high number. Ask puritans how many people are punny sexual offenders, you’re going to get a very high number. Such is the most tame interpretation of what is going on. The 451 percenters are puritans, they’ve overly moralized sexuality, counting offenses to their sensibility rather than criminal actions.
Puritans informing you how ‘vile and wicked’ your sexual ways are; advocating to make their puritanical beliefs bout punny sexual offenses into legally enforceable laws. These are the same kinds of concerns bout a someone dressing too provocatively, such is a ‘punny sexual violation’ to the sensibilities of others.
The less tame version of this is that it is exactly what fascists do. Lie to people especially bout punny sexual offenses in order to ratchet up the fear levels in the population, so they run to them to solve the ‘problem’.
Could be both tho.
Either way, their misandry murders little boys. They celebrate terrorizing men, and rejoice in lynching folks. They’re despicable people.
Solutions?
Ruthlessly love them. Write them love poems, show them kindness and generosity of spirit, but give them not a dime in money, nor ever relent to their irrational fears. Extol their beauty and virtues, make love with them, utterly ruthlessly. Be overtly sexual bout it, in this give them no quarter, bring to an end their puritanism by giving them no plausible cause to be thus. No one under the duress of loves’ enticements and sexual pleasures be puritans. Be relentless, show them masculine sexuality; give them nothing to complain bout, but give them masculine sexuality. Don’t fall for their puritanism, be the boys of summer.
Respect a ‘no means no’ ethic as a code of obligatory actions. Use aesthetical ethics towards good sex with mutual respect given; don’t ever take that as a one way thing. Do not conflate the aesthetics of good sex, 'enthusiastic yeses’ with those of the ethics of obligation ‘no means no’. Don’t be puritans, don’t be fascists, be sex positivists.
Call out the stats when folks bring them up, refer people to these points, feel free to refer people to this post and/or the attached video. ‘But the CDC said’ is not a valid argument; they have put puritans in charge of determining punny sexual offenses. They find punny sexual offenses everywhere they look.
If you’re super coolio, start advocating against the CDC’s use of NISVS to determine what constitutes sexual violence. It doesn’t match with criminal data’s methods, it doesn’t utilize the metrics of ‘no means no’ which are the proper metrics to use, instead it utilizes what amounts to peculiar beliefs bout the aesthetics of sex as a means of measure for punny sexual offenses.
They are spreading a puritanical belief system bout punny sexual offenses, nothing more, and they are causing public health problems by spreading their lies. They are not counting sexual offenses, they are not a criminal justice system, they aren’t technically even in the business of understanding sexual violence. They are the Center For Disease Control, not the ‘center for social engineering sexual practices control’.
Original video on the topic, with some additional resources for understanding these issues in the description.
The Rest Of This Post Is References To The CDC, NISVS, And Crime Data Reports, Along With Some Quotes Thereof With Short Specific Retorts Highlighting The Relevant Info In The Quotes As It Pertains To The Post. This Is But A Small Sample Of How They Use Language Of Aesthetics To Make Their Ethical Claims, And How Their Language Is Misandristic.
sv_surveillance_definitionsl-2009-a.pdf (cdc.gov)
Fast Facts: Preventing Sexual Violence Violence Prevention Injury Center CDC
Key Terms & FAQs National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey (NISVS)Funded
Programs Violence Prevention Injury Center CDC
Some key quotes from this, Bolded text hereafter are coded for ‘yes means yes’ methods of understanding sexual violence, and sometimes misandristic language. Italicized text are quotes from the sources:
“Rape is defined as any completed or attempted unwanted [unwanted is an aesthetic criteria, not a consent criteria which is ‘a no was stated’ attempted while a real thing allows for further insertion of scary vibes to pad the stats, e.g. the blackness of the lover] ...includes times when the victim was drunk, high*, drugged, or passed out and unable to consent.* [puritanical belief bout drinking and drugs, e.g. one cannot consent if drunk or high. Note that it is separate from being drugged or passed out and unable to consent, and that criminally speaking being drunk or high is not indicative of a lack of capacity to consent, also note this is de facto applied to women only].
“Sexual coercion is defined as unwanted sexual penetration that occurs after a person is pressured in a nonphysical way. In NISVS, sexual coercion refers to unwanted vaginal, oral, or anal sex after being pressured in ways that include being worn down by someone who repeatedly asked for sex or showed they were unhappy; feeling pressured by being lied to, being told promises that were untrue, having someone threaten to end a relationship or spread rumors; and sexual pressure due to someone using their influence or authority.”
Unwanted is an aesthetic category, not a consent category. ‘Sexual coercion’ is not a criminal offense either. It is a puritanical belief bout sexuality that is based on a sex negative view, e.g. that sex is a bad unless and until magical words are said to make it into a good. Calling it ‘sexual violence’ is just lying. Coercion is defined misandristically to only be bout penetration, which precludes all the ways that women use sex and sexuality to manipulate, use, abuse, and harm people; note that there are essentially zero surveys done that include some ‘feminine coded coercive behavior’ into these stats. That is by design. Including not incidentally the way that women have historically and currently used irrational fears over their sexuality to terrorize men and get people murdered.
“Unwanted sexual contact is defined as unwanted sexual experiences involving touch but not sexual penetration, such as being kissed in a sexual way, or having sexual body parts fondled, groped, or grabbed.”
Unwanted is aesthetics, not consent. Also this literally describes flirting. I know they want to try and capture some other sort of notion, grossy mcgrosser pinning someone down and groping them, but all this describes here, and all the stats can possibly reflect, is flirting.
“Non-contact unwanted sexual experiences is defined as those unwanted experiences that do not involve any touching or penetration, including someone exposing their sexual body parts, flashing, or masturbating in front of the victim, someone making a victim show his or her body parts, someone making a victim look at or participate in sexual photos or movies*, or* someone harassing the victim in a public place in a way that made the victim feel unsafe.”
This category is quite broad and puritanical in its disposition, as it assumes there is something wrong with seeing naked images unless and until expressed verbal consent is given, and undoubtedly ignores the en masse flood of naked images of women online to which basically every guy is exposed to. Compare again to people who claim that women ought not be allowed to show their ankles as it causes a ‘harm’ to those who are ‘forced’ to see it. Exact same shite. Aesthetical concerns of wanted or unwantedness, and also notice the expressly stated vibes check ‘victim feel unsafe’. Look out for the black boys, they make them feel unsafe!
Crime/Law Enforcement Stats (UCR Program) — FBI
Quick Facts on Sexual Abuse Offenses (ussc.gov)
It’s worth mentioning that statistically speaking, if one uses the stats derived from crime data as opposed to statisticians making numbers up, the percentages of men who do sexual violence, depending a bit on how you count it, are: 0.0516% or .478% or .0957%. Although the video goes over this all in pretty good depth, just do a little sniff test here; are .478% of the male population sexually violating a third of all women, 55.5 million women?

I was at a grocery store a few years ago when COVID was still somewhat of a thing, so the "6 feet apart" signs were everywhere. This older cunt had no mask on (this is important to explain her audacity). The bitch was waiting in front of the cashier, waiting for them to finish scanning her items from the conveyor belt. As a normal person would, the next guy walked up to put the separator stick on the conveyor belt and began placing his items. This man was masked with an N95 mask. Immediately the decrepit hag begins screaming at him.
Cunt: "STAY BACK. STAY AWAY!!!"
Dude: ...
Bitch: pointing at him and gesturing wildly "YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO STAY BEHIND THE COUNTER AND WAIT FOR MY ITEMS TO FINISH SCANNING."
Dude: ... slowly backs away
Hag: with spittle "IT SAYS SIX FEET APART GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME."
Dude: ... "The conveyor belt is -"
Retired Karen: "I DON'T GIVE A FUCK. GET AWAY FROM ME."
Dude: completely backs up behind the conveyor belt
Gollum-like creature (no insult to Gollum): mutters something about young people not knowing how to shop or checkout and how they only know how to use self checkouts (probably jealous that she can't figure out a simple self checkout)
To be fair this grocery store also featured other crazies. I was at the bus stop outside waiting to get a ride home and this bitch (in her 20's?) was standing underneath the bus stop sign. Like a normal person, this other young lady (who was Asian, also important because of a slur that will be used) stood around 3-4 feet behind the bitch. Immediately the bitch turns around.
Bitch: "Get the fuck away from me dumb ch**. I will beat your ass if you stand behind me." Normal lady: *steps a few steps away Bitch: "Go farther away bitch, I'll beat your ass." Normal lady: walks to a nearby bench where another lady is sitting Other lady: "Oh my gosh what is her problem, come sit down." they sit down, exchange Insta Bitch: Continues muttering about going back to China and how "those people" don't know how to ride the bus
Glad I'm no longer living there.

I work in a convenience store/gas station, and my genius of a boss two years ago decided to let a taco bus set up behind our store.
They store everything in our beer cooler and freezer, which we already share with a coffee stand in our lot. Fresh meat, often-times bleeding (literally) onto the floor, as well as cooked. Lettuce, etc, they’ve got it all. Meanwhile it has taken up a good 1/3 of our already small cooler.
They don’t have porta-johns, so their customers come inside to use the stores bathroom. And let me tell you, these people are the nastiest and most inconsiderate customers (I’ve found soiled pants on the floor after a family came from the taco bus). We’ve had to call a plumber seven separate times since the start of this year because their customers have clogged the toilet so bad our plunger won’t plunge. But of course, I’m responsible for keeping the bathroom stocked and clean for customers that are not mine and do not purchase anything from my store.
And then there’s the parking. The bus gets so busy that their customers will take up every spot in our lot, including the gas pumps, even taking up the coffee shack’s line after the shack has closed for the evening. It’s bad enough that my customers can’t park in reasonable spots, and have to resort to double-stacking their parking behind someone at the taco bus. My parking lot has been full for the last two hours, but I haven’t helped a single customer and the pumps haven’t been pumped.
Idk, it’s just frustrating because I was against them being a permanent fixture at the store from the get-go. They’re good people (the owners and employees) but it’s not even summer yet and this is a daily issue.
And the best part? An Asian food cart has also been with us for the last year, and we’re sharing our cooler and freezer with them also.

I'ma be that nail in your coffin. Saying that I softened? I was ducking down to reload So you can save your petty explanations, I don't have the patience Before you even say it, I know You let your pride or you ego talk slick to me? No That is not the way I get down And look at how you lose your composure, now let me show you Exactly how the breaking point sounds

Bio
Name: Jasper Sakai	Date of Birth: November 11th
Age: 15	Gender: Male (He/Him)
Sexual Orientation: Confused	Nationality: Japanese American
Race: Asian	Fatal Flaw: Holding grudges
Demigod Conundrums: Dyslexia, ADHD	Hometown: Seattle, Washington, USA

Family:

Member	Name	Age	Description
Father	Kaito Sakai	40	Kaito is a stern and unwavering man, shaped by his own dour upbringing. His career as a historical archaeologist speaks to his passion for unearthing secrets of past civilizations. His relationship with his son is tense, to say the very least.
Mother	Dike	???	The goddess of justice and fair judgement, and a member of the Horae - the Goddesses of Order. Jasper has no desire to meet his mother. The mere thought of her makes him angry.

Powers

Power	Type	Description
Aura Nullification	Domain (Order)	Jasper has a neutral aura, effectively neutralizing or cancelling out other auras next to him.
Apathy Inducement	Domain (Order)	Jasper can induce feelings of apathy on a target, dissuading them from a particular decision or emotion.
Judicial Intuition	Domain (Horai)	Jasper is naturally knowledgeable of divine, natural and mortal laws and customs.
Lie Sense	Minor	Jasper can perceive deceit and is able to sense if someone is being knowingly untruthful.
Disable Combat	Minor	Jasper can fight relatively well even if one of his senses are hindered.
Persuasion Proficiency	Minor	If he really wants to, Jasper can be naturally persuasive, and is adept in logical and critical thinking.
Blindness Inducement	Major	Jasper can temporarily blind someone for up to 10 minutes

Items and Equipment

Name	Type	Description
Resolution	Ancient Executioner's Sword	Jasper took Resolution from his father's office before running away from home, on the advice of a family friend. Even though it's impractical, he refuses to let go of the blade, always carrying it on his back.

Appearance

Faceclaim	Height	Weight	Hair	Eyes	Body Type
FC by me	5'9''	144 lbs	Bleached, Slicked back	Brown	Lanky

Personality

Quiet and reclusive by nature, Jasper often keeps to himself, and tries to limit every interaction he has to the absolute minimum. Having a shrewd mind, he doesn't waste words or reveal more about himself or his goals than what he deems necessary. Being stubborn and a boy of focus, Jasper's resolve never wavers when he sets his mind on something, even in the face of uncertainty.
His silence shields the depths of his emotions and thoughts, but beneath it lies a burning determination fueled by a desire for vengeance and retaliation against the injustices he sees and the grudges he holds. It is this relentless pursuit of retribution that drives him forward, and it can't be extinguished by doubt or fear. Jasper walks a solitary path, but the boy is haunted by loneliness and is unsure of where he belongs in the world.

Right Now:

As Jasper stepped off the bus, the cacophony of New York City assaulted his senses, a stark contrast to the serene solitude of the Pacific Northwest. He had traveled far, leaving behind his entire life... Most kids would be afraid, or at the very least hesitant. But not him. With a heavy backpack slung over his shoulder, he started navigating the bustling streets with quiet determination, making his way to Camp Half-Blood.
A taxi ride and a bit of walking later, Jasper could see Half-Blood Hill ahead, the entrance to a sanctuary hidden away from the chaos of the world. Jasper's heart quickened as he approached, but he stopped briefly and took a deep breath. He wouldn't let his anticipation change his demeanor, not in the slightest.
He had been told about this place: a haven for demigods like himself, where they could find refuge and belonging. He sought neither, but for his purposes, a place like this would do just fine. With a resolute step forward, Jasper braced himself for whatever lay ahead, knowing that this is where his journey would truly begin.

Travel Diary: I make $195,000 and spent $2149.75 (+49k points) while on a trip to Amsterdam
Section One: Bio
Age: 40
Occupation: Lawyer
Hometown: DC
Number of PTO days and how you accrue them: I earn 6 hours of annual leave every two weeks (19 days total a year), and used 36 hours for this trip
Section Two: Assets + Debt
Not super comfortable with a very detailed financial picture, but my NW is ~$750k. No SO.
Section Three: Income
Main Job Monthly Take Home: After all deductions and contributions to savings, my monthly take home is ~$6200
Section Four: Travel Expenses/Diary
Trip planning - My (40F) best friend from college (39F) and I decide to go to Amsterdam on a birthday trip. We both turn 40 in 2024, and we decide to go in May because it's in between our birthdays and because it'll be tulip season in Amsterdam! Neither of us have been. We also haven't travelled together before, despite being friends for 20(!) years, so we are a little apprehensive, although we have spent a lot of time together over the past few years. We decide on a 6 day trip. For purposes of this diary I'm going to list my half of the expenses for things we split. Costs are in US dollars, despite paying using Euros. As a side note, I also am a little over one year post-Gastric Bypass, which has a limited effect on my diet (I try to eat low carb, but you'll see that I mostly fail at this on this trip!).
Pre-trip expenses: $1193.15 total
Flight: $255 + 49k points (from Capital One)
Lodging: $1425.91 (split) - $713
Rijksmuseum: $40.28
Anne Frank House: $24.95
Keukenhof Gardens plus bus ticket: $36.20
Red Light District Tour: $50.52
Day trip to windmills tour: $43.20
Snacks: $30ish
Day 1 (Total $21.17)
Our flight is at 5:30pm, so we planned to be at the airport by 3:30pm, which actually turned out to be 4pm. Uber ($21.17). After checking bags (included in flight price) and getting through security we made it to our gate right as boarding was about to start. No time for food or drinks.
On the plane I eat a snack of roasted chickpeas before dinner, which was chicken cacciatore with mashed potatoes, bread, cheesecake, cheese, and a salad. And two glasses of wine. I save the cheesecake and cheese for later.
My friend and I watch a movie (Poor Things) and then try to sleep. I am reading A Fault In Our Stars, because Amsterdam. I try unsuccessfully to sleep for awhile and then go back to reading. At some point i eat the cheese and cheesecake. Breakfast is a cheese roll, which i eat a couple bites of (OMG does all of Amsterdam have this much cheese?? - spoiler alert… yes it does!). I wish I had slept more.
Day 2 - Even though it feels like a continuation of day one. (Total $207.02)
7am - We land at 7 and then grab the bags and go through customs. Easy peasy. We are exhausted so we grab coffee at the airport before figuring out public transit ($5.10). I take out 60 euro for cash in case we need it ($65). We buy a train ticket to the central station ($6.33) and when we get there we buy a four day unlimited public transit pass ($28.44) so that we don’t have to worry about it later.
We get to the hotel at around 9am. They tell us it will cost $50 to check in early, which we opt not to do. Instead we go get breakfast and coffee at a cafe nearby ($21.20). The hotel tells us that our prepaid amount did not include city taxes, which is another $183 (my half $91.88).
11:30am - Back at the room we decide to rest for 90 minutes. Enough to catch up on sleep but not to waste the day and get more jet-lagged. After a rest we decide to walk around and get a feel for the neighborhood and do some shopping. We find a bookstore, and I buy a copy of my favorite book from high school, Tess of the D’Ubervilles with a beautiful cover and gold edges ($21.46). We also buy fries with truffle, mayo, and Parmesan at a fry shop ($3.32) (that’s all they have and they are delicious!). We also stop a grocery store and pick up a few things including yogurt, cheese, salami, apples, and an energy drink ($13.19). We have some early days planned and nothing seems to open early. It’s very cold and rainy and semi unpleasant.
6pm - We drop stuff off, bundle up, and head off to dinner and a tour of the red light district. We try to find a place that serves Snert, a Dutch pea soup, but strike out. We end up at an Asian place instead. I get chicken satay and a beer and my friend gets Indonesian soup and wine ($16.10). Our red light tour is great, but we are exhausted after and head straight home to bed. 22k steps total
Day 3 (Total $87.24)
7:30am - We have an early day planned, and have to be on a bus near the central station by 8am. I eat a yogurt and energy drink (from grocery store) for breakfast and we take public transit (covered on unlimited card) to the station. We find the right bus and head off!
First stop is the windmills, which are beautiful! I am happy we get there early because we basically have the place to ourselves. My friend gets a coffee and we both use the restroom ($1.08!). Then we head to Edam and do a walking tour there. Next stop is a clog/cheese place, which feels very touristy but they do feed us lots of cheese. I buy a cheese slicer as a souvenir ($10.81). Next stop is another small town where we have lunch at a cafe. We basically pick one at random. My friend gets fried fish and I get a ham and cheese panini and a beer ($17.30). Final stop is an artificial island town called Maarken. We do another walking tour.
2:30pm - we arrive back in Amsterdam and get let off north of the water. I grab a coffee ($3.76). We go up to the Adam lookout and take a ride on the swing off the side of the building ($25.95 for swing plus ticket to lookout). We also grab a drink and sit on a pillow watching the city from very high up, which is lovely ($6.63). On the way out I buy a reusable water bottle at the gift shop ($4.87).
After the lookout we take the tram over to a brewery at a windmill that was recommended to us by several people (including here on Reddit!). Cost was covered by the transit pass. We buy bitterballen and a small bottle of Genever (local whiskey) (paid by my friend) and a flight of beer ($16.84). We are a bit tipsy but enjoying the lovely weather.
6:30 - On the way back toward the hotel the weather turns and it starts raining so we dip into a pub for dinner. I have a burger ($16.12). We are there at 8pm, which is momentous because it’s a day of remembrance and the whole bar is silent for two minutes. It was very interesting to be there during this time.
We are exhausted by this point and go home to bed. 19k steps total for the day.
Day 4 (Total $104.33)
7am - Another early day as we have to be on a bus at 7:30 to go to Keukenhof for the tulips! (paid in advance). We wanted to take the first bus out there because we heard the crowds were bad. I eat a yogurt for breakfast and take a 5 hour energy (no cafes open this early!). We try to take public transit to the train station but didn’t realize that the trains do not run that early on a Sunday so we grab an Uber instead ($12.20). We tell the Uber driver we’re trying to catch a bus so he makes sure we find the right place and we pull up just as the bus is loading. Phew!
8:00am - we spend 5 hours in the gardens and take literally hundreds of pictures. We are glad that we get there early as the first few hours are lovely and empty. We get a coffee ($4.60) and lunch later ($25.36). By 1pm it’s getting very crowded so we start heading out. We grab the bus back to the train station.
2:30pm - We decide to go by the Rijksmuseum although not in it because we planning that later. Instead we stop off at the Van Gogh/Rijks gift shop that’s nearby. I get a couple souvenirs, including a foldable bag and a magnet ($20.44). I also get a coffee ($3.64) and my friend gets bubble tea. We sit on the hill on museumplein and people watch. After awhile it starts to get hot (we had dressed for the early morning) so we head back to the hotel to change.
5pm - we decide we are having an evening of drinking. We first grab a drink in the hotel bar because we get free vouchers for each day we choose not to have the room cleaned. Then we have dinner at an udon place, which is delicious. We have tempura, chicken katsu, and dumplings ($15.94). Then because it’s cinco de mayo we decide to have margaritas at the Mexican place near the hotel ($15.15)! Not Dutch but it’s fun. We head down the street to another bar and have a Genever cocktail called an Amsterdam mule ($9.91). I am happy with our choice of hotel because there are so many places in our neighborhood. On the way home we pass a fresh stroopwaffle place and must get in line for one ($5.92).
By then we are exhausted and head to bed. 21k steps total for the day.
Day 5 (Total $80.44)
8am - We have a slightly less early day but have tickets to the Anne Frank house at 9:15. (paid in advance). I eat some yogurt and cheese in the room before we leave. It’s walkable so we decide to head out early and grab coffee on the way. ($3.19). The house is sombering but I’m glad we did it.
11am - After the Anne Frank house we walk to the nearby cheese museum. We sample lots of cheese. I buy one cheese to take home ($15.18). We want to walk to a used bookstore, but decide to have lunch at a cafe on the way. We pick one at random. We split chicken tenders and a goat cheese and apple sandwich and I have a beer. ($15.14). The sandwich is one of the best things we have eaten. We spend about an hour in the bookstore and my friend buys one book.
3pm - We realize we are by the monkey bar (one of the oldest bars in Amsterdam that they told us about on our red light district tour). We stop in for a drink. Ok two drinks. ($12.50). We take the metro back towards the hotel and stop in at a tile store in our neighborhood so I can buy a magnet. I buy magnets from all my trips, but I like non-touristy handmade ones if I can find them, Van Gogh magnet from yesterday aside. I buy one with a windmill on it. ($14). We also stop at the grocery store for more yogurt ($3.05) and for Dutch apple pie at the cafe across the street from the hotel ($4). We get back to the hotel and have another free drink and then rest before dinner.
8pm - We go out to a Dutch restaurant for dinner. I am not super hungry from pie so I just get the snert (pea soup). My friend gets sauerkraut and potatoes. Sorry, but I thought it was pretty bland food in general. ($13.38).
We head home. It’s a lighter day, only 14k steps today.
Day 6 (Total $194.47)
8am - Today is our last full day in Amsterdam. We have planned to spend the day at the Rijksmuseum. We want to get there right when it opens for crowd reasons. We had bought “friend of the museum” passes ahead of time so that we can skip the line. I have a yogurt for breakfast and we walk to a cafe near the museum for coffee and breakfast for my friend ($3.78). The man at the cafe is very nice and we love sitting outside in the sunshine. It’s going to be a warm day!
We spend about 5 hours at the museum. We rush to see the Van goghs and the main gallery where the Rembrandts are, including The Night Watch, which is probably one of the most famous paintings in there. We had downloaded the app so we shared a pair of earbuds and listened to audio notes about many of the works (they have a number you can enter in). We take a break outside for coffee ($7.29 - i pay) and skip the line again. Totally worth it for the more expensive ticket. Around 2 we are hungry and have seen almost everything. We stop in the gift shop and I buy a ring and earring set. ($64.76). I forget to use my 10% discount for being a friend. :( I wanted a necklace too but didn’t like the ones they had there so I’ll try to find a matching piece at home.
2pm - My friend has been trying to get herring for the whole trip so we make it a point to do that. The first place is a bust so we find a little stand that sells it a 15 min walk away. We are determined, so we head there. I don’t eat fish so I get a shawarma on the way, which is terrible (cash). I throw half away. After lunch we get ice cream. I get coffee ice cream, and it makes up for the bad shawarma ($6). We also stop at the peanut butter store, which is allegedly the first in the world, and I pick up 3 small jars for my mom for Mother’s Day ($8.11). We also stop at a thrift store and i buy a dress ($21.59). At some point this day (I think), we also stop at another bookstore, and I buy a few things including a card, a couple gifts, and a book ($39.71).
6pm - After resting a bit, we get two more free drinks at the hotel and then head out to dinner. We pick another Asian place. I get an aperol spritz at dinner and we share appetizers (satay, spring rolls, and bitterballen). We also get coconut ice cream with mango sauce for dessert. All yum! ($33.03).
We get one final drink at a local bar near the hotel ($10.20) and I’m again grateful for our choice of neighborhood. Today has been all walking because our 4-day metro pass ran out yesterday. Total steps 13k.
Day 7 (Total $36.93)
8am - this our last day. The plane was supposed to leave at 1:30pm, but we get a message that it’s delayed an hour. We decide to have a leisurely breakfast. We pick a place that’s at a hotel near our hotel. I get an egg sandwich and my friend gets French toast. We both get coffee. ($15.27)
We decide to leave for the airport around 11. We walk to the central station about 20 min away, and I buy wooden tulips for my mom on the way (cash). We buy train tickets (cash) and get right on a train. We are proud of ourselves for our navigation on this trip.
12pm - we get to the airport and through security. We head to a lounge but there’s a line. We are 40th in line based on our QR code place. We decide not to wait and sit down for lunch at a random bar. I get a sausage and a beer ($20.66). We walk around some and get another message that our flight is delayed more, to 4pm. It’s finally our turn to get into the lounge at 2:30 (2 1/2 hour wait) so we go. I grab some water and a whiskey and coke but we just ate so we are not hungry. Around 3 we head to the gate. Unfortunately when we get there our flight is delayed more and will board at 4. They give us airport vouchers so we buy a book, beer, and some stroopwaffles ($1 after vouchers). We finally board and head off around 5.
On the flight we are served dinner. They have run out of chicken by the time they get to me, but eventually find one and bring it to me later. I have a wine too. I read, watch a movie, and try to sleep a little. We have a whole row of four to ourselves so we can spread out. Dinner is a French bread pizza.
8pm - We land around 7pm (love time zone math!), grab our bags, and get a taxi to my car ($27.09). I drop off my friend and get home at 8:30. I am exhausted but cuddle my cats for about an hour before going to bed. 15k steps today
After trip expenses - $225 cat sitting
Total expenses: $2149.75 (+49k points)
Flight: $255 + 49k points
Lodging: $804.88
Food/drinks: $531.38
Travel: $101.56
Activities: $221.10
Souvenirs/gifts: $ 231.93
Final parting thoughts - I think just over $2k for an almost-week long trip to Europe is a pretty comfortable number for me. I am glad I could use points for most of the flight. We definitely didn't try to cheap out on anything. We spent a lot of money drinking (neither of us drink this much usually). I hope this was helpful to anyone, and I look forward to reactions/comments!

Good morning, men and women of this subreddit I hope you're having a good day.
I come to you with a situation that happened to me a couple of days ago and that I haven't been able to get out of my head. To begin with, I'm a man (25) and for a couple of years now, I made the decision to put aside everything related to romantic matters or going out on dates with other people, because the last time I opened my heart, things went really wrong, very wrong, and let's say that my love mourning has been long (Much longer than I would like.) Anyway, the situation was like this.
A couple of days ago, around 7:30 pm, it was raining and I left my job to buy a coffee, as I do once a week at a bar & restaurant. When I entered, I ordered my coffee and waited. Then, a well-dressed Asian woman (by well-dressed I mean a high-value businesswoman) approached me and asked if I was a certain Fabian. I quickly told her no, and a look of disappointment crossed her face. Uncomfortably due to the confusion, she apologized to me. I just told her not to apologize and asked her about the issue. She became uncomfortable and after much hesitation, she told me that she had a date but the guy hadn't shown up after 15 minutes.
After receiving my coffee, we talked, and a little while later, she invited me to her table. I had time to spare before taking the bus home. To keep this short, it turns out that her appearance didn't lie, and this woman had a lot of money and was living in my country for business purposes, she had been here for a year and a half. She told me about the many things she had and how, at her age, it was very difficult for her to find a partner, let alone someone to marry (she looked to be in her late 30s). I won't lie, I liked meeting her, however, I felt uncomfortable when I had to tell her about myself.
With some discomfort, I told her about myself, about living with my parents and how I was saving up to buy a house or an apartment, about my job as an IT support and my decision not to have romantic relationships. I'm sure I saw how disappointed she was to hear this. I wasn't comfortable telling her all this, but in my head, "It was only fair." The thing is, there was a silence, not an uncomfortable one, but a sad one. In the end, she asked if I wanted to accompany her home to hang out. I, on the other hand, even more uncomfortable, just told her no, because I had never had relationships before (We never got that far with my previous partner, I know, sad) and also because I shouldn't choose a partner in this way just because she was desperate. She just said she felt very lonely.
The truth is, I understood her, I have also felt more alone lately. Anyway, I saw the time on my phone and told her I had to go or I would miss my bus, we said goodbye, and I wished her luck in her search for love.
Several days have passed since then, and for some reason, I haven't been able to get this woman out of my head, mostly because somehow I thought I had finished with romantic issues in my life, but this situation has made me feel sad and lonely again. Maybe I saw myself reflected in her or something, I really don't know. There are a couple of things I left out to not make this longer than it should be, but anyway, I wanted to tell this because I still have doubts about why these feelings of sadness and loneliness have returned to me.
Anyway, I wish you all a good day and a better week.

I’m planning on taking my two daughters to Tokyo and Kyoto this summer. It seems like it’ll be hot and humid, so we’ll (petite East Asian American females) probably be in shorts and t-shirts (CA Disneyland attire basically) We’ll bring coverups (long cardigans) for when we go indoors (a/c) and if we visit any temples.
I’ve heard that groping on metro happens enough that Japan had to establish females-only metro cars. Is that something we need to think about on our summer trip?
Thanks in advance.