Questions for girlfriend

Anonymous because I don’t want this attached to my main. And sorry for any sloppy grammar I don’t really know how to format this in a way that others can.
I,22M, having been dating my girlfriend, 29F, for a year as of yesterday. Today, however, she reveals to me that she thinks we have a good connection but not a great one. And that she would be heartbroken if we broke up but tells me that she thinks of her ex as home and has never felt that way with me. She tells me that she doesn’t want to go back with him because he was an abuser. I’m afraid that she’s only with me because I am her safety net and that she doesn’t actually love me. I even asked her and she told me she loves me “in a way”. I haven’t really been in a serious relationship before her so I don’t know if I’m missing any red flags or things to consider.
TLDR; my girlfriend told me she thinks my connection with her is good and not great and she had a better one with her ex.
Any advice appreciated and I’ll answer any further questions to provide clarity.

I 20M started dating a girl 19F around 8 months ago. She was the best thing that happened to me. Even before meeting her, I was pretty good and socially popular, but meeting her was just icing on the cake (she was literally the best, she comforted me, she did all my homework, and somehow Idk if it's good at all but it seemed I was the center of her life, all her future plans were with me, her every action connected to me somehow). She on the other hand had severe emotional trauma, and an identity crisis, including a lack of independence, and a lack of awareness of what she wants (all accredited to her parents). She also had some personality crisis, like she had been faking herself for so long that she forgot who she really was. I helped her through all of these things, she can now accept her true personality and be as she is (she was always pressurized to be this certain version by her parents), and she knows what she wants (earlier all her outfits were selected by her mom, now she has a voice of her own and wears what she likes), etc. Lately, every person and I'm not just talking friends here, the uni authorities the educators, the seniors, everyone has just one thing to say - this girl is sucking the life out of this boy, he is not the same cheerful kid he was some months ago, and his smile is long gone. My question is is it even possible, I don't suspect a thing, but everyone around me is thinking the aforementioned and not a single is saying otherwise. The seniors are saying that I'd end up ruining my career if I stick with her, I really don't know if it's possible - she's the sweetest most innocent girl I've ever seen. One thing that stuns me is that we've never in 8-9 months had an argument, never have we had a fight (minor things exist like I crack a joke and she's not in the mood, but that's very rare), and never have her opinions been different from mine! To be honest I'm a very difficult guy to be with, for eg since we almost spend the entire day together in uni, I'm not the guy to specially take her out on weekends, I'm not really the gifting type either (tho I'll add that I verbally praise her a lot), i crack a lot of offensive jokes, especially targetted at her parents (ya know, for what they did to her), I make her jealous often (all in good spirits, lol), and she somehow agreed with everything as well, like she had no problem with anything whatsoever. I'm actually so surprised at these points that make me question if what everyone is saying is true (like the too good to be true case). I didn't wanna bring this point in, but (and let me say i do not believe in astrology), 3 astrologers (first when I was around 10, the other when I was around 15, and the last very recently) told my family, that before I turn 21 a girl would come in my life, who would distance me from my mom and eventually, ruin my careelife. My mom has disliked my girlfriend since the 3rd month or so, earlier she tried hard to like her. My mom has had huge fights and given silent treatments to me for the last 5 months, and the epicenter of almost all fights (when I say fights I literally mean hours of yelling) and silent treatments (which I do not defend at all, and have been min 3 to max 10 days long) have been her. My mom, in addition to all the points she has against my gf, thinks that she might be a gold digger. I really don't know what to say, tbh it goes without saying that earlier I was very cheerful and had a very positive mindset as compared to the present, like in the last sem vs this sem. Please, is it even possible??!

To all my friends who've come out to me, I've always told them that transitioning was a risk worth taking. So, why can't I take my own advice?
I've always thought I was just a more effeminate feeling man. Ever since I was young I've struggled relating to men. My dad always called it 'my own brand of masculinity.' Even talked to some friends a few years back about my discomfort with masculinity, and how I felt it didn't fit me and I just needed to change my frame of mind. Now? That discomfort has turned into a subtle pain. I don't know if its dysphoria I feel, but just a desire to slip into another body that isn't mine. But I don't know where to even begin.
I don't have insurance. This is the US afterall. I can't afford to talk to a therapist about this. I've reached out to friends, most of whom are queer; among the only cis-het people I know are coworkers and family. And they've been supportive but it doesn't spur these doubts that this is just another bout of depression, unhappiness with my station in life. Some have told me to just start transitioning. To see how it works out, how it feels. But how?
Part of me just wants to start shedding the more masculine parts of my wardrobe and body. Shave my beard. Maybe start microdosing estrogen and go from there. But how much at my height & weight? Where do I even get it? A lot of my trans friends are either on testosterone or not on hormones at all. A lot of them have insurance through parents or work. I don't know who to go to with these types of questions. I'm already embarrassed, nearly thirty, asking friends who're younger and began transitioning almost a decade ago. I feel like a burden reaching out too much.
And though I've lived the past 6 years as a bisexual man, out to friends not family, this isn't something I'd be able to hide. I stay closeted because I know support amongst family would be wavering. I went to private Christian schools for 14 years for christ sake. And though I know my girlfriend would be supportive, I don't know about her family. They love me as is. Will they continue to?
There's just so much. I don't know where and who to turn to. I hope this isn't the wrong place for this. Because I'd appreciate some advice or support at the very least. And if no one comments on this, at least being able to articulate it here, to lay it all out, is probably a huge help.

I am not one for write long well written posts so I hope I am able to describe the situation well. TW: Animal was harmed
For the past little while my girlfriend 26f and I 24m have been looking to get a dog recently and it was going pretty well until today. We went to a rescue just met a brand new dog we were looking at and excited to meet spoke briefly to the people inside and they suggested we take it for a small walk to the end of the sidewalk and back then we can go inside and talk more about it. They put him on a slip lease and outside we went. the dog got spooked by a car driving by and managed to slip out from the lease and ran away. I went after it and some of the people from the rescue came outside to help but we couldn't catch him in time. He ended up running into a busy street where he was struck. My girlfriend and I couldn't see it because it was blocked by some bushes but heard it clearly. Very shortly afterwards my girlfriend starts crying and blaming herself I tell her it wasn't her fault and very sternly tell her to go sit-down in our car, which she does and I ran off to go help the rescue people and see if I could help. Luckily the dog lived with very minor fractures and will make a full recovery after some rest but we didn't know that at the time. I help the rescue get him loaded into a car and then go to comfort my gf.
Fast forward maybe ten or so minute of consoling her I step out of the car to go inside the rescue to see if they need anything which they ask for some information and then I stepped outside. There was a couple who also witnessed this happen in the park nearby and were in close proximity to us when it happened. They approached me when I came out and asked some question and then the girl told me "no matter what happened I shouldn't have spoken to my gf like that".
So my question for you reddit is aita for telling her sternly/aggressively to go wait in the car wrong? I was just trying to get the point across quickly and I didn't want her to see the aftermath after she was already getting upset.
TLDR: Horrible situation unfolded I spoke not so nice to my gf and dog is OK

I am NOT the Original Poster. That is u/SparkMandrill90. He posted in AITAH
Mood Spoiler: Good ending.
Original Post: May 9, 2024
My (33M) ex-wife (30F) and I got divorced 3 years ago. In college, we worked at the same restaurant, that's where we met. We were together for 7 years, and married for a little over 3 and half. We divorced because she cheated twice.
2 years into our marriage I discover she is having an affair with a former classmate. I collect enough evidence and confront her. She confesses everything. The affair was about 2 months long. This was a really terrible time, and was really hard to work through with her. You can call me an idiot, but I am a forgiving person. I do believe in 2nd chances and that people can change. We agreed to reconcile. We did the work. We had marriage counseling. We read some of the books, she went no contact with classmate right away, open phone policy, we told our parents. She was doing the right things and our relationship was recovering.
1 year into our reconciliation, her Aunt dies. I am very busy with work and cannot attend the services as they are on Thursday and Friday, back in her hometown 5 hours away. Her parents and brother no longer live there, so she stayed with a good friend from HS. I had met this friend a few times and was comfortable with that.
On Saturday morning my wife text me that the car was loaded, and she was about to start making the drive home. About an hour after that I got a Facebook message from the friend. Who stated she wouldn't be able to live with herself if she just let this go, but informed me that my wife had gone out Friday night with some old friends from HS. The friend thought nothing of this until she discovered my wife had left her phone behind, and that she didnt come back until the following morning. I had gotten a text that Friday night from my wife that she was going to bed early since the past few days had been emotionally draining.
I confronted my wife soon as she got home. She was really hesitant to tell me anything so I lied to her and told her if we were going to work through this, I needed to know everything like the last time. That got her to confess that she had gone out, and had gone home with an old friend from high school. She said they didn't have sex but did do "stuff" that I won't go into detail about here. It didn't matter, once I got enough of the truth I left for my parents house. That week, my Dad called my landlord and paid all the termination fees and got me out of the lease. We went and got my stuff while she was at work. My parents set me up with a friend of theirs that was a divorce attorney and he cut me a deal. Took about 7 months for divorce to go final.
That was 3 years ago. I have an awesome girlfriend, and am doing well. This past weekend I got a Facebook message from a guy who is now engaged to my ex-wife. He introduced himself and said he was probably just being crazy, but he wanted to know why we had gotten divorced. He said he had broached the subject a few times, and she always "gets weird." She had told him we had divorced because we grew apart, but mostly she just deflects or is really really vague.
I told him the truth, and offered evidence if he would like. He declined, and thanked me for my time and story.
A day later I get a phone call from a local, but unknown number. I answer and it's my ex-wife. She is really upset and asking me why I am trying to ruin her future. I get her to calm down and talk. She says her fiancee has asked for some space and is staying with his parents this week. That he is saying he needs to reevaluate their relationship. She wants to know why I told him all about their past and why I'm still punishing her. She tells me she's not that person anymore, and has done all this work, and been in therapy. That she deserves another chance and I'm being petty and hateful. There were a few generic insults thrown. I got a little pissed and told her if she really changed for the better she would have been upfront with him about heour past and owned up to cheating in her prior marriage, and then gone about showing her fiancee that she was ready to be a worthy partner to him unlike she was with me. Instead she tried to lie and hide the truth, and now it's blowing up in her face again. She said a few choice words and hung up.
I haven't heard anything since. I told my girlfriend and she reassured how I handled it. But I find myself feeling guilty. I still believe in 2nd chances and that people can change. While I would have felt wrong lying to the guy, I wonder if I should have handled the whole thing differently or just not responded. If she is truly different and this is just a blip, I don't want to be the thing that prevents her from finding happiness, but also believe I'm not what's hurting her engagement. AITA?
Relevant Comments:
Commenter: The fiancé called you and asked you what happened, you are under no obligation to lie to him for her sake, as a matter of fact, anything that you told him besides the truth would be suspect as you have no idea what she told him. Don’t feel bad, she is only feeling the consequences of her actions. NTA. Kiss your wife, tell her you love her, and live a good life together

OOP: Yeah, I don't know what she's told him exactly. He made it sound like she will do anything NOT to talk about it. He did say the most he's ever gotten out of her when bringing it up was "We grew apart". Which is a lie in itself.

Commenter: NTAH, imagine if you had lied to the guy and said you had just grown apart. Would you want thar on your conscience? I’d have told him rather than been part of a lie that will lead to someone else getting hurt. She hasn’t changed at all.

OOP: No, you're right, I would not have lied to him. I think I was largely wondering if I should have just told him "it wasn't my place and he needs to get it from his fiancee", but after the amount of feedback, I'm feeling really good with my decision.

Commenter: NTA. I’m like you. I would feel guilty because at a glance it seems like being honest about your experience caused your ex to potentially lose her relationship. However you are holding yourself accountable for someone else’s actions. Your ex cheated. Your ex withheld information from her current partner. Your ex is still avoiding accountability. You are not responsible for her actions. Anything that happens in her relationship is her problem, not yours.

OOP: Thank you for this, I got to remind myself of that. I hate causing others pain, so I'm glad to hear from someone who can relate

There is no consensus bot on AITAH, but a majority of votes are NTA
Update Post: May 12, 2024 (3 days later)
I really didn't expect to give an update because I assumed I'd never hear anything from my ex wife or her fiancee again. First Post
Last night I received a very very long text from my ex-wife. I'll summarize it below, because it was long and did have personal details.
She started off by apologizing for the way she talked to me the other day and said I didn't deserve to be insulted like that. She then went onto explain herself, and her situation.
She started by acknowledging that this whole situation wasn't my concern or business, and apologized for me being drawn into it, and said she was embarrassed that their issues were being "aired out." She said it was her fault this happened. Since she began dating her fiancee she has hidden the details of our marriage out of shame and guilt. For the most part it was never brought up until he proposed a couple months ago. That's when he first really asked and seemed to want to know. She said she wasn't ready to deal with that and kept trying to rug sweep it, but he persisted. This is when she started therapy (so apparently she's only had a few therapy sessions and all are recent). She never thought he would reach out to me.
She then stated that none of this was my fault, and apologized for blaming me. She said she should have faced this a long time ago, gotten therapy for ruining our marriage, and come to terms with her own feelings of guilt.
Then she apologized for her affairs, and way I was treated during our marriage.
The last part was just her stating that she was not expecting a response back, wishing me the best, and saying that hopefully her and her fiancee will never "bother me" again.
This morning when I got up and read this, I sent back a brief message:
"I appreciate the apologies and am glad you are working on yourself. I have moved on from what happened, and hope you can move on from this. The only bit of advice I have is I think this text needs to go to your fiancee."
She responded back just by saying "Thank you" and that he's received far more and far longer texts.
I doubt there'll ever be another update. I actually hope there isn't. I don't believe in closure, but I will say it was refreshing, to hear her apologize without an asterisk. That's what I always got before, the "I'm so sorry, I just drank too much and..." "I'm so sorry, I was just really depressed and stressed and...". Doesn't mean a whole lot really, maybe just unexpected for me, but it was nice to hear an apology that has no excuse trailing behind it. I'm going to enjoy the rest of my day now and leave all this behind me.
Wanted to address a small sets of commenters from the first post though. I had several people hung up on that my Dad paid my termination fees and got me out of my lease. He did that of his own accord, to take a lot of the stress of the separation off me. I included that to show how I had a support system that was behind me, and willing to help in any way no questions asked. It really helped me through the healing process, and I got back on my feet pretty quickly after. I'm sorry if you don't have anyone there for you when you're at your lowest, but it doesn't make you better or manlier or whatever you were going for when you made those comments. Having to face any and every challenge on your own, is really just kind of a sad existence in my opinion. I hope that changes for you and you'll find someone to be in your corner someday.
Relevant Comments:
Commenter: She seems to be taking some accountability for her actions which is a surprise if she is sincere. They almost never take any responsibility for anything.
Go on and have a wonderful life.

OOP: Yep that's what I'm going to do.
I don't have much thought on the texts she sent me, I mean this whole thing is really nothing more than a weird few days in my otherwise routine life. But I will admit, it was nice to hear her take some accountability without making an excuse right after. That had never happened before.

Commenter: I honestly don't see why people were jumping on you for having someone in your corner to help you out, seems like a weird thing to get hung up on.

OOP: That's how I felt too, but there were a handful of people who were trying to imply that I was some sort of crybaby man child because my Dad took care of that for me.

Commenter: What accountability exactly do you think that she is taking here? She’s basically just playing defense to try to save her current relationship. It’s easy to be honest when there’s no other choice.

OOP: Her motivations are her own.
But to address your questions on accountability. When she first got caught having an affair, and we decided to work it out. She did everything "right." She came to every counseling appointment and fully participated, she read the books we got, she gave me every password, and so on. She would apologize profusely, but every time she would also give an excuse along with it. "I am so sorry I did this to us, I don't know what I was thinking, I was just so caught up in the validation" or the attention, or I was just so depressed and he was just there, and so on. She would put her self down, beg for forgiveness, and each time there was always just a little "asterisk" added on. A little reason/excuse/deflection as to why she did it. An outside factor that pushed her into it to some degree
When she did the second time, there wasn't much discussion because I ended things and left as soon as I got enough confession out of her. But when she was bombarding me with texts, emails, snaps, you name it trying to explain and beg, and ask for one more chance and all that, she apologized a 1000 times, all 1000 times had its little "asterisk.". I was just so drunk I wasn't thinking, I really thought he just wanted to keep hanging out, we didn't have sex (whether this was true or not I really don't care) and so on.
I'm going to assume you've never dealt with a betrayal like this, and I hope you never do, but when you are a person like me, who has been betrayed, even years later, to finally get an apology that has no excuses, no asterisks attached to it, it is incredibly refreshing. I truly thought it would never happen, thought she would never be capable.
Now, it doesn't mean much, our lives haven't crossed paths in 2.5 years, and may never again. I'm not going to be reaching out and I assume neither is she, but for that to actually happen, I'll take the win today.

I (24 NB) have almost exclusively dated men. I've known I'm bisexual since I was 12 but I find myself really anxious to date women.
My first girlfriend was when I was in high school and only lasted for 2 weeks (very emotionally fraught, lots of unmanaged mental illness on both our parts) and the second was in uni, we really only had two dates in addition to months of sappy texting before she cheated on me with a man she later ended up marrying... So, both my experiences with women were painful and short.
It feels like dating men is so much easier to default into, there are easier scripts to follow and though I don't like the scripts it is known - compared to the unknown world of dating women.
Basically I am curious what it feels like to date a woman? For those who have dated men what parts are different and what are similar? How do you structure a relationship outside the typical bounds of heterosexual gender roles?
These are probably super silly questions but I really want to date women now that I am single again and am hoping getting more insight helps me manage some of the anxiety I am feeling. Thanks in advance!

My girlfriend and I have will have been dating for 2 years in August but have known each other for longer. We are both military living in Alaska, that’s how we met. But I recently separated and continued living with her instead of going back home in Michigan. Her on the other hand, she is transferring to her new assignment soon which is in Texas.
Now recently I feel as thought we have been arguing a lot more and just not enjoying being around each other like we used to. We still have fun at times but it just seems like the majority of the time is spend kinda being mean or getting annoyed by one another. Our arguments usually just go in a circle with no one admitting guilt or finding a solution so it never really gets resolved. So things don’t feel good.
I’m hesitant about moving down with her to Texas or going back home; where I might add I have family and friends to support me. In Texas, I don’t really have much if things go bad. She’s the one renting the house so I would get the boot and finding a place to live on short notice is expensive or I just drive back to Michigan. Which makes me breaking up with her even scarier. So I guess what I’m asking is has anyone ever moved away with someone and it went bad?
If you need more context or any questions I can answer those.

So me and my ex from a while ago have been talking and not talking for over 3 years, its not toxic at all but we developed a friendship and its really nice and i love her. But we recently reconciled a couple of weeks ago and i had a girlfriend at the time (which i broke up with).
What happened was said girlfriend may have given me chlamydia. Im not sure if i have it or not i will know tomorrow. But my question is should i tell my ex, because we have hooked up by now.
I think this would be a good way to find out if shes hooking up with someone else? Is this morally wrong? Maybe but i want to know how someone else would handle it i want some advice.
Thank you.

There has not been a specific single incident which has caused me to question this, but the last straw happened a few days ago. This involved her snapping as a minor disagreement and trying to hurt herself, ending up with me, her father, and her brother to hold her down. I truly love this girl, but I go back and forth with whether it is healthy for me to stay. We have been together for 3 years and we live together. She has made many promises to work on her mental health, but it feels like she just keeps relapsing (which I understand, but it is very hard on me as well, not to sound selfish).
There are many things in our relationship that is caused by her anxiety. She has separation anxiety, making it where she does not want me to be away from her for more than 2 nights. She also doesn't like me being out with my friends too long. With trips, whether it be with me friends or family, it can't be more than once every 3 months. If I am gone longer than that, she cuts contact with me and says that she would be better off without this stress in her life. There is always an argument when it comes to me going anywhere without her.
She has barely met any of my friends. We always have a date set, then she feels depressed the day of, then we have to cancel. She didn't even come to my birthday party at our own apartment because she was sacred of a couple of my friends being there (about 4). Now she has made progress and has met one of them, and she says she really wants to meet more, but it never happens.
She can get very defensive and angry about anything changing or not going her way. Usually it ends up with me being ignored and yelled at. Then her coming around the next day, apologizing and trying to find a compromise. This cycle makes me not want to press my opinion on things unless it is very important to me.
Please don't get me wrong, she is my best friend. She makes me laugh more than anyone in the world. We have very similar goals in life, morals, and are very compatible, especially with me being ace. She is super sweet, but her anxiety and depression really gets in the way, usually almost everyday. I don't know if this is enough to warrant giving up on such an amazing person.
TL;DR! My girlfriend has anxiety, social anxiety, depression, and ocd. Do I stick it out until her mental health gets better, or is it time to move on?
I would love some other peoples' opinions. I can add any context needed if anyone wants to know more~
Edit: I am using a burner account

There has not been a specific single incident which has caused me to question this, but the last straw happened a few days ago. This involved her snapping as a minor disagreement and trying to hurt herself, ending up with me, her father, and her brother to hold her down. I truly love this girl, but I go back and forth with whether it is healthy for me to stay. We have been together for 3 years and we live together. She has made many promises to work on her mental health, but it feels like she just keeps relapsing (which I understand, but it is very hard on me as well, not to sound selfish).
There are many things in our relationship that is caused by her anxiety. She has separation anxiety, making it where she does not want me to be away from her for more than 2 nights. She also doesn't like me being out with my friends too long. With trips, whether it be with me friends or family, it can't be more than once every 3 months. If I am gone longer than that, she cuts contact with me and says that she would be better off without this stress in her life. There is always an argument when it comes to me going anywhere without her.
She has barely met any of my friends. We always have a date set, then she feels depressed the day of, then we have to cancel. She didn't even come to my birthday party at our own apartment because she was sacred of a couple of my friends being there (about 4). Now she has made progress and has met one of them, and she says she really wants to meet more, but it never happens.
She can get very defensive and angry about anything changing or not going her way. Usually it ends up with me being ignored and yelled at. Then her coming around the next day, apologizing and trying to find a compromise. This cycle makes me not want to press my opinion on things unless it is very important to me.
Please don't get me wrong, she is my best friend. She makes me laugh more than anyone in the world. We have very similar goals in life, morals, and are very compatible, especially with me being ace. She is super sweet, but her anxiety and depression really gets in the way, usually almost everyday. I don't know if this is enough to warrant giving up on such an amazing person.
TL;DR! My girlfriend has anxiety, social anxiety, depression, and ocd. Do I stick it out until her mental health gets better, or is it time to move on?
I would love some other peoples' opinions. I can add any context needed if anyone wants to know more~
Edit: I am using a burner account

I’ve experimented with a multitude of traditions but haven’t found one that stuck with me enough to really practice long-term. My priest told me that if I’m bored by what I’ve seen of parish life, that may be a sign that I need a heavier cross to carry. I’ve finally taken his advice and have made plans to visit an actual Orthodox monastic community in the near future. I have several questions about my life that I would like addressed:

• Am I called to marriage? I’ve never had a girlfriend before and that leads me to think that God is telling me to give up trying.
  
• How do I find and make a real path for myself? Does that path involve a longer stint in the monastery for discernment?
  
• What am I destined to be doing in life? How should I expect God to communicate with me and will He be saying?
  

Other than that, I’m not sure what to do or ask while I’m there, but you’re welcome to add suggestions.

Hi all, I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost a year now (friends for many years before), and one thing I’ve noticed (and have brought up multiple times) is that he doesn’t really ask me questions. He will ask me how I’m doing or what I’m up to maybe once a day, but many times he won’t really even respond to what I said. If we get into a deeper conversation about anything, he doesn’t ask my opinions on whatever the topic is. I usually just have to say my opinion, and he’ll listen to it.
Is this common for men? Are they just not programmed to ask questions or something? Has anyone else felt this

Hello, I’m quite new to Reddit. I don’t know which Reddit section I should choose so I chose this one. I’m a high school student and yet I already want to pass away. I know people might think that I’m only doing this for attention, but I’m not. I’ve been struggling with this type of thoughts ever since when I was in 6th grade. I wouldn’t do something repeatedly for many years just to gain attention. (I do not have a perfect grammar, I hope you can understand me)
I’ve thought about it many times, and the urge to do so this time is overcoming me. I can’t say I’m alone since I have my family, my girlfriend, and my friends. But I believe I can say that I don’t feel them most of the time. It’s almost as if I’m a ghost.
I don’t have a complete family. Rather, they’re mostly toxic and abusive, both physically and verbally. I’m from an Asian household and I don’t think those are some ways to properly discipline your child. I live with my grandparents from my mother’s side. I’ve gotten quite used to their treatment towards me as it has been going on for years. It’s kind of funny how I still remember this one line from my grandmother when I was in 3rd grade, “You’re old enough for me to kill you now.” And ever since, there was never a time wherein she never tried to kill me. I’m scared, to be honest. I don’t want to get killed either. But what else can I do? They see my explanation and defense as rebellion. I have no choice but to act numb. Now, it doesn’t hurt that much when my grandmother hurts me. The only time it stings is when it’s my mother who does the same thing. I’ve always thought, “how can a mother do this to her own daughter?” And I kept questioning myself that up until now. I even questioned my worth and existence. Every time a situation like that occurs, I just think that maybe I deserve those type of things since I wasn’t planned and maybe I’m just a bad person.
My father’s a cheater. He’s emotionally absent, and the side of my mother pulls me away from him. I’m kind of okay with it because I’ve always wanted what was the best for my mother. I don’t want to ever see her hurt because of my actions. My father used to beat me up when I was a child too. I don’t know but I vividly remember anything that hurts me. An example would be him beating me up because I spilled my milk on the bed. I was a kid, how was I supposed to know? What was I supposed to do?
As for my friends, I don’t feel any of them. They can’t see right through me. I always feel left out and it’s as if they’re doing well in my absence. That’s why I felt like I don’t have to worry about leaving them since I know they’ll be just fine. When I’m alive and they’re doing well with treating me like a ghost, what’s more if I really become one?
Though, I don’t really want to leave my girlfriend. I don’t want to leave her behind. She’s alone, and I’m her only ally since we’re in (kind of) the same situation. I’m gentle in loving her because she’s the most precious fragile thing in the world. My girlfriend is the kindest, purest, and sweetest girl you’ll ever meet. She’s truly the best, and I could never ask for more. I love her so much and I could never imagine a life without her. I can’t bear the thoughts of hurting and leaving her. She’s the only one that’s keeping me alive. Without her, I wouldn’t know where I am right now.
I’m also scared of what’ll happen in the future and what I’m going to be. What if everything gets worse? What if I don’t achieve my dreams? I hate disappointing everyone around me.
Please tell me the methods. I hope you can understand me.
Edit 1: Personally, I’ll never believe that anyone will mourn for me. I’m planning to break up with my girlfriend so it won’t hurt for her.

My girlfriend and I of 1 year had been fighting and while she was mad at me I thought she did something that she knows I disapprove of. Drinking and driving. She left the house came back and I was on the couch and heard a bottle of wine being poured. After she left I checked the bottle and it was halfway gone. Then went to the parking garage to see if her car was still there and it was gone. Then I tracked her location on the GPS and she was at the dog park. I wanted to make sure she got home safe so I watched the dot and it was exactly as if she was driving, even stopping at intersections. It was about 8 blocks from the house. Then was the GPS showed she got back home about 2 mins shes back in the apartment. She was screaming at me for about an hour I just let her vent and she had wine all over her lips. I didnt say anything about the drinknig and driving. The next day we were back at the dog park and she said "Yesterday I walked to the dog park" I said oh you walked? Then she replied "Yea it wasn't that bad". Thats when I got quite and she could tell. I told her that I had went downstairs yesterday and her car was gone. Thats when she started to tell me that she only drove half way and walked the rest of the way. Then I told her that I saw the dot on the gps and it looked exactly like you were driving. Then she told me that on the way out of the dog park the dog got loose and was running down the street thats why it might have looked like it was moving so fast. Then she basically stuck to her story and said to give her the benefit of the doubt. She couldnt give me a clear answer on why half the bottle of wine was gone but she said she only had 1 drink before going to the park. The only thing she said she was sorry for was not being more clear about what she meant by "walked" to the park. I said I needed some time to process it and we had been talking 2x a day during the workweek just checking in. On Tuesday she told me she ran into this guy randomly in her apt complex that she has told me she finds attractive. They always seem to "bump into each other" when things between us get rocky but I dont think anything has ever happened. I didnt really think anything of it when she told me I trusted her faithfulness and dindnt really question things at all. That weekend she came over and I was on my computer and she was asking about all the people who have texted me. So then I said let me look at your texts. She said okay and I went to the deleted text messages and loe and behold she had been texting this guy too and then deleted it. She said that iphone randomly deletes her text messages. The messages weren't too bad, however on Thursday she had a text at 8pm telling him that shes coming over now. She said they just talked for a bit and then she left. But its just to many suspicious things happening and I feel like there is some lying and deception going on. She seems to have a reason for justifying all her actions and doesn't think anything she is doing is wrong, its making me feel like I'm the crazy one and I'm not sure what to do.

Hey all, Me and my girlfriend have been using discord to text for upwars of 6 years now. We've been super curious to see a graph of our message history, so we could see the days we talked the most, any exponential inclines, any dead zones, etc. Are there any known softwares (or websites I suppose) that have this capability? I've seen it done with bots and such, but that doesn't help in a dm. I feel like if you can download a dm, you should also be able to graph that dm, the question is simply if anyone has done it. Thank you, CTG

Need a help for a friend who was approached by a girl on insta and then after a period of interaction on Instagram he was invited to her girlfriend's house in Pune. She is not from Pune. They had consensual sex. Marriage was out of the question as she and he were both aware of caste differences and likely objection from Girls parents. Girls belongs to a dominant caste in Maharashtra. Fast forward girl comes to Bangalore to visit him. They have sex on multiple occasions in my friends house and she visits him on a daily basis. My friend now is in love with this girl.They go out and act as a girlfriend and boyfriend. Out of nowhere girl asks for access to insta, gmail, Facebook and reads messages as old as 10 years and then goes batshit crazy accusing him of cheating on her as this guy had asked out other girls too even she was aware that they were not gonna marry and it was casual fling. Now she is threatening to file false cases of rape and she is threatening him on daily basis also telling him that she will implicate his family too. Note: she have had past history of posting obsene content of her intimate moments with her ex bf on his Instagram. Her threats revolve around - I will get you beaten, will shame you and your family and file case of rape against him.
Please help here with what should be ideal modus operandi?

I am starting this topic because i saw that a guy was saying that almost every one that have read the books before ships more ron with Hermione... And the ones that have only watched the movie ship harry and Hermione... Well i disagree with what he said because when i read the books( around 14-15 years old)i literally fell in love with Hermione... I liked her character... She was smart kind loving passionate brave and a good friend emotional(there may be more but I cant think more now...). So because i imagined as a kid i am harry potter( Being a brave wizard and everything except the tragic things that happened to him like losing his parents...) i also wanted harry to end up with Hermione so i thought i will end up with Hermione or someone like her in the future... Btw i was really shy back then especially with girls... I had crashes i never talked to or i talk for 1 or two mins per day... I did not have a girlfriend of course even though most of my friends had one at least once... So i was trying to reduce the little pain and jealously i may had with thinking i have Hermione and thay will someday end up with her or a girl like her that is better than most of the other girls and the girls my friends dated( i wasn't bad at my friends of course... All these were my inner thoughts...). Basically i said to myself don't worry if no girl likes you bc you are so shy... One day you will be with a cute and beautiful girl like Hermione... I also saw some of the movies then and i was attracted to Emma Watson so that made me fall for Hermione more lol( but i was already in love with the character just from the books). Basically Emma Watson was my first celebrity crush ( from the 3rd movie and after it). So yeah that was what i was dreaming 😅... Even now i feel attracted to emma but not like then... And of course Hermione... I think if i find a girl that is good looking and resembles Hermiones personality ( both the good and bad) i would fall in love with her immediately and try to do everything to make her like me too and someday if all go well marry her... And no its not that i like the bad things about Hermiones character but i don't care because all humans have some drawbacks... But i think everything good about a girl that has the personality of Hermione outweighs the bad... And yeah its maybe weird but if i ever find a girl like that i will give her the nickname Hermione 🤣. But as a child yes i fell for her really hard so i wanna know two things... First of all because this is for harry and Hermione... Guys and girls that have read the books did you want harry and Hermione to end up together and if yes why? Second is that do you think that there are girls these days that have most of these personality traits? Because more and more girls nowadays don't really believe in true love and they don't love you because of your personality and looks... They like your money or your status more than they like YOU( this may go to men too). I personally want to marry a girl that is attractive and also is kindhearted and has a pure heart and loves me as much as i will love her... I believe in true love and will never give up on it... You may call me and an idiot or a kid but if that is how idiots and kids think then i will prefer being an idiot and a kid instead of not looking for the right person for me( like a soulmate but soulmate is really hard to find)... Took a little inspiration from naruto( its a great anime with much love and action and approval... I recommend to all to give it a try)... That's my questions and why i liked Hermione so much as a character... Please if you want just to be mean don't comment... It will just make me sad... But if you tell me your honest opinion even if its the opposite i will respond and talk to you...

Hi all,
I'm a 27 year old virgin and I keep getting hurt because I'm scared of intimacy I think, I'm not entirely sure what frightens me so much haha
I find It super easy to make friends with most people and have a really tight friend group. The problem is when I like someone and I know they like me back (throwing hints like crazy and inviting around to her house) I just ignored them and carried on being my friendly self because I'm afraid of being hurt because I always feel like I have no clue what to do in those situations and freeze. But as soon as they are no longer interested in me and angry with me sometimes (which I understand because I'm basically ingnoring them and being rude) I get jealous of them friendzoning me and being with someone else.
When I've had women approach me on night outs I just say I have a girlfriend because I'm scared of being a disappointed or they laugh at me event tho it shouldn't even matter they are complete strangers
It's like my brain is living in a different world and I'm blind to what comes naturally to most.
I'm writing this while high please excuse readability of post or if its even worth making idk lol
Guess I should ask a question to get some comments going - anyone else identify with what I'm saying? Are relatively good looking, have had plenty of opportunity in the past but too nervous and freeze/walking away from the situation?
Thanks for listening to my Ted talk - Depressed virgin wanting to die

We decided to go to the skybar this evening to watch the Tyson Fury fight. Got there early and had a nice table and had a few drinks over the course of an hour or so. While the fight was on, a group of women sat next to us and insisted they were entitled to our table which was perplexing to say the least. We explained politely that we had been there for a while and were planning to stay for the fight. One of the ‘women’ decided this was unacceptable and she wanted the area and explained to us that if we didn’t leave it would be the last time we would drink in Clancy’s. As you’d expect, we didn’t take much notice and remained in our seats… until security came over and told us we were no longer welcome and had to leave. We obviously asked why and the security staff were embarrassed to tell us that the woman in question was the girlfriend of the General Manager and they had no choice but to kick us out.
We had not caused disruption whatsoever and were perplexed as to why we were being escorted out of the building. Has anyone had the same experience? Crazy imo.

Can someone explain in a super simple way how say for example: a laptop can have a rtx 4080. What’s different from the desktop version? Are they really the same thing. Same question for cpus especially the newer ones that require high power cooling systems like the 13900k/14900k
I want to buy my girlfriend a top of the line gaming laptop.

I really liked this guy who just broke up with his long term girlfriend and asked me out(we have been close for 2 years but there are periods when we don't talk for months) but i didn't wanna be some rebound and later while we are having a casual conversation he sent me these texts - he knows I really like him, I have said it explicitly
(Sidenote, he is studying in the UK while I am in India, he is rich tall and good-looking and in our dynamic i have always been the one who liked him more, and right now he is the one who wants us to be something, so these texts are much of a surprise)
Please ask any other questions necessary to analyse these texts
These are the texts he sent me:
I genuinely think that you deserve an amazing guy who wants the exact things you want, who’d love you, the way you want him too and trust me I’m no where near rn. Your care for me has made me think that what i am rn is not what I want either but I’ll heal on my pace. I do think that you’ll end up being hurt in the process of me getting better i think both us want do this with something more right, like you don’t want it this way and I’ve realised I don’t want it this way either. I also really want to love the person doing all these things for me and I think only way for me to do that is by healing myself first I think me taking time to do my part myself is necessary and then maybe I do heal but this way we won’t get hurt and possibly could actually Get what we want in future It’s just take care till I become what I wanna be and a better version of myself Till then take care have fun enjoy and I hope you get what you deserve cause you genuinely do

Now I know what you’re thinking, cause I have questioned it too. “Am I really this messed up for thinking there’s an attraction in this?” “Surely I can’t be this insecure…” but this is why I’m posting here because I cannot help but reach out for outside advice.
My girlfriend (31) hasn’t met her supposed biological father, nor has had a DNA test to make sure of it. But she has had a text message relationship with this person for over 2 years now, having never met him in real life.
So naturally I just dug and gathered more info. Because this would alarm anyone right? Or maybe I’m just being crazy about it… now, this man who is supposedly her father had a relationship many years ago with a woman who had a daughter… my girlfriend told me that when this woman’s daughter passed away, there was a journal entry that was found in her diary talking about how she had a sexual relationship with my girlfriends now supposed father. That was yet again another red flag for me? But again… am I being too much?
Other things I have questioned was her therapist telling her she needs to emotionally distance from their relationship until they meet. Again, not having a dna test to confirm anything. He has also asked her if they can meet alone. Wants to kick his current girlfriend out of his house and have her move closer. (These are things she has told me) “Have I gotten too far into my head over this situation?” I’ve asked myself. I try to weigh out the thoughts and chalk things up to a harmless relationship. But I can’t help but want to call things off out of concern, I often worry for her and question this man’s intentions. My girlfriend is a beautiful girl. Not just saying this she is quite stunning, modeled for Playboy, etc… so why wouldn’t some older addict love talking to her daily?
Anyways, can yall help me see this situation in a more logical sense? Am I just insecure or do I have a valid reason to be concerned over this relationship she has with this man she’s never met, or has even confirmed is her real dad.