👹The Adharmapala (Asuras) are a group of powerful beings that have renounced their place in the Hindu pantheon. The Adharmapalas are worshipped for their strength, courage, and protection. In traditional Hinduism, they are considered pure demons.
👹They represent the raw forces and the unconscious mind, and are associated with the cycles of destruction, war, rebellion, murder.. To receive their blessings, they are worshipped by fire with alchole sacrificial blood mixed with oil, beef, pork, buffalo, and human. Adharma deities are not part of traditional Tantric practice either. While many Tantrics accept the story of Chandi Path, and the devis overcoming evil, we do not accept it as is. They are approached through Asurachara (Vamachara of Asur).
👹They places of worship: cremation grounds shmashana,mahashmashana, bhuta bhumi, rakshasa bhumi, chaurastra, jalasthal, vana, giristhal, prachin mandir
👹havan samagri Blood oil, black sesam, barley, wheat, black rice, liquor, meat, datura, akand, lime leaf, chili leaf, kali kusha, kali bilva
👹asan human skin
👹These lords have an incredible dark side, known for their fierce wrath and destructive tendencies. They can unleash chaos and devastation upon those who cross them or fail to show proper respect. Be careful, their horrid consequences if not appeased correctly, they may demand sacrifices in exchange for their favors. Approaching this path, you must be prepared to face darkness and accept it as your home.
Joi asurkarnath 👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹

Tier List: https://imgur.com/a/SPm0Fjl
This one hits different. Right from the start, with those ominous vocals giving the whole thing a feeling of foreboding and momentousness. Donald Trump lurking around the stage for his titlecard, even staying onscreen as his titlecard goes away is hilarious and a great visual touch. Then we get Hillary sitting in her debate chair; this battle committing so hard to a location both rappers are present in is pretty unique.
"I've been in this game too long; I'm a public servant! Have been since I met MLK in person!" Serviceable opening on paper, but the guest actor, Kimmy Gatewood, makes it stick out with her performance. Love the intensity of her voice and facial expressions. "I'm a woman of the people; that's for certain. You're a man of the people who don't like turbans!" This is a great line, very accurate, and I love the look on Hillary's face. "I was living in the West Wing while you were professional wrestling. Got skin like Russian dressing from too much Russian investing!" Good lines, in particular I really dig the Russian dressing/Russian investing parallel. Also, while I don't think Kimmy bears a super strong resemblance to Hillary Clinton(the guest actress from Clinton v. Henry VIII was much more on-point) she does look a lot like her as she does the Russian dance in the background. Something about her wide-open smile. "You been going bankrupt since the 90s; if I was in Iran you couldn't find me." Very true on both counts, very solid line. I don't know what more there is to say. Is it gonna be controversial to acknowledge the reality that Trump's gone bankrupt lots of times and probably couldn't point to Iran on a map, even now that he's been president? "You don't care about the job, Trump, you just think the desk is shiny." I think it's accurate that Trump really only cares about the prestige, but this still seems like a pretty weak attack. Hell, you could argue the vast majority of presidential candidates care more about the prestige than actually doing anything. "I said that I respect your children but that wasn't quite right, yo! Looking like some extras on American Psycho!" This line is pretty fucking great. I didn't get it when this battle first released, but I've seen American Psycho more recently, and comparing the Trump kids to the useless trust fund posers surrounding Patrick Bateman is hilarious. The hyper-aggressive hip thrusting Hillary's doing is also a great visual. For the most part this portrayal doesn't resemble Hillary much, but I think there's some truth in how she's portrayed as being very try-hard here. "First name is Hillary, middle name Rodham, last name is Clinton, and lyrics I got 'em! You fire celebrities on The Apprentice, motha fucka I fire Bin Laden! (Crack!) cough" Being tryhard again. The lines are pretty good, the flow is pretty good. The reference to her coughing is a fun touch. "How do I say this? You're racist! Ooh, you must get so pissed that your hands are too small to stop and frisk!" The asking/answering of that question at the beginning is really funny, and I like the way they worked Trump's small hands into this attack on him for being racist. "So you use your fingers to touch chicks. (She's only 12 years old.) That's enough, shit! (But she's married, sir.) Just gotta get pushy. (That's your daughter.) Well, grab her by the pussy!" One of the highlights of the battle, love the way they worked in the secret service agent here. Pointing out Trump being a creep at child beauty pageants and towards Ivanka are great lines of attack. "That's assault, brotha! Don't tell me the victim's at fault, sucka! You don't know shit about steaks! Yucka! But the ones on the 8th are great! Motha fucka!" Really fun delivery, good attacks, I like that they threw the Trump Steaks jab in between the more serious sentiments. I don't know what the fuck is going on with the background in this section, though they're really going hard on the tryhardness of Hillary. "Better save the date; I'm gonna rock the vote! Bad bitch on the scene like Murder, She Wrote!" Hillary trying to compare herself to that character is pretty cringe, as is highlighted by her attempting to dab with the biggest "look, aren't I cool, kids?!" look on her face. Real "Pokemon Go to the polls" moment. "So go ahead, Donald, let me see you flow. I brought Michelle's speech; borrow some quotes!" It's a pretty great line, though this line is moreso an attack at Melania than Trump himself; she should have ended with a more Trump-focused attack.
"Let me just say I respect all females. But your rhymes are trash; put 'em next to your emails." The first line is funny in how flagrantly untrue it is, the second line is just plain funny. Good opener. "Our country's in crisis. Who wants to vote for the mother of ISIS? That might not be exactly true, but I don't do politeness." Trump talks out of his ass and lies a lot, yes. "(Believe me!) You wanna talk about misogyny? Your Bill's worse than Cosby! He left a mess on that dress like you left in Benghazi!" The comparison of the rapist Bills is a great line, and I'm not sure whether the whole Benghazi thing was actually something that was Hillary's fault or just a Fox News talking head talking point, but it's a good line regardless. Also by this point it's clear that Lloid's Trump impression is on-point, much better than Peter's. "(Terrible!) You wanna break the glass ceiling, Hillary, I sense it. But the only crack you'll find is my ass pressed against it." The gesturing Lloid is doing during the "I sense it" line is fucking hilarious. The second line is also pretty funny, and did turn out to be true. "The numbers are in and I'm right on your tail. You don't have the stamina, baby, you're frail! This will be just like '08 when you fail! But Trump will appoint you to jail!" Fun parallel to Hillary's "First name is Hillary" segment from before going on here. The lines themselves are fine, nothing amazing. The second-to-last one turned out to be true, the last one did not. "How do I say this? You're a 2. And you almost lost the primary to a socialist Jew!" It's pretty funny how Trump mimics Hillary's "How do I say this?" bit, and "you're a 2" is such a simple but funny jab. He's got a point that Hillary was so weak a candidate that Bernie Sanders came outta nowhere and was able to put up a serious competition in a race that was supposed to have no real competition for her. "What do the American people gotta yankee doodle doo, to get it through your fat face, that they're just not that into you?!" The use of 'yankee doodle doo' is funny and he's got a real point that Hillary needs to accept she's very unpopular, though that 'fat face' line is such a pot calling the kettle black moment. No doubt intended as such. "They want a strong male leader who can stand up to China! Not a crooked, little, wishy-washy bleeding heart vagina!" These lines, of course, exist purely to point out that Trump is a giant sexist. The "China, China, China... bloody vagina!" in the background is a very funny touch. Little bits like that just add so much to this battle. "I'm gonna run these streets like I run my casinos; more police and less Latinos!" These lines, of course, exist purely to point out that Trump is a giant racist. "While you bury us in debt buying poor people socks, I'll create jobs, tearing down mosques!" Trump is against programs that help the impoverished and hates Muslims. "Then I'll use all the best rocks from the site to build a wall, dip it in gold and make Mexico pay for it all!" The thing Lloid does with his eyes as he smiles when he says "build a wall" is just... SO Trumpian. This really is one of the greatest Trump impressions I've ever seen, Lloid did an amazing job. As for the line... Trump says he's gonna build a wall. He built a partial wall. A partial, really unimpressive wall. "I'll make this country great again! We'll all be living large! And I'll tell Congress you're fired, and put Charles in charge!" Trump's slogan is MAGA and Charles in Charge was a TV show whose main actor is a Trump supporter. Also apparently there was a Supreme Court judge named Charles Trump once wanted nominated. Alright. "'Cause this whole system's rigged! And we all know the riggers! For the last eight years this country's been run by- (CAW!)" The point of this line is that Trump is a giant racist. I like the touch that the crowd is cheering wildly for Trump while Hillary looks disturbed in the background.
Then Lincoln comes soaring in on an eagle, as he did in Obama v. Romney. "Are you fucking kidding me with this blah blah blah? I've half a mind to feed you both to my oversized - (CAW!)" The use of 'CAW!' as a censor is amusing. "I've heard more thoughtful discussion up in TMZ! You two got brother blocking brother on their Facebook feed!" This isn't fun anymore, it's just real. "I'm so sick and tired of this ridiculous shit! If this is the best my party gets, then my party should quit!" The Republican Party is a nightmare and Lincoln would be ashamed of it today, is what is being said. "I'm sorry, did I say something that you found funny? Wipe that creepy-ass smile off your face and beat this dummy!" Clinton is a shitty politician who didn't take Trump seriously enough, and she comes across as cold and inhuman. And in case you somehow failed to pick up on it before, ERB makes clear here their endorsement for which candidate to vote for. "And if she does win the White House, be a man and hold the door. Don't get your fans stirred up in some sorta Twitter civil war!" Too real, especially after January 6th. "Here's an equal opportunity smack down in the sequel! That's of the people, by the people, for the people, eagle!" Some people have debated whether Lincoln slapped Trump twice in place of slapping Clinton at all because he's a gentleman and wouldn't hit a woman, or because ERB favors Clinton over Trump. The latter is definitely true, but the former is also probably true. So... both! Then Lincoln yells "Eagle!" and fucks off.
Let's talk about bias. There's two camps of people I've seen in discussions about certain ERB battles, especially this one, and they both irk me. So let's address both of them.
First off: YES, ERB is biased against Trump. And are biased against Republicans generally, and much more sympathetic to the Democrats. They've made that completely obvious from the beginning. And you know what? That's totally fine! They're right to be biased against them! But for some reason, some people in the fanbase can't just admit that. For some reason, there's a lot of people in the fanbase who will bend over backwards trying to explain how it's actually totally unbiased(false) and they attack both sides equally(false) and people complaining are being salty(true). But if you think ERB is unbiased, then society has failed you, because you are a woeful media illiterate. They're screaming Vote for Hillary, Don't Let Trump Win! at you and somehow you haven't managed to decipher what they're saying. I hope for your sake you're, like, twelve years old if you actually think they're unbiased. Here's an important lesson for you to learn as you grow up: 'biased' does not equate to 'bad'! For example, you SHOULD be 'biased' against Hitler! If you look at someone like Hitler and compare him to someone like MLK and treat them as equally valid figures whose ideas are both worthy of consideration, then you're at best a useful idiot and at worst a Nazi apologist! Stop feeling like you have to defend ERB's honor by feverishly denying any claims of bias!
But even worse than those jokers are the fuckers who love to bitch about how ERB has gotten "too political" or "too woke" nowadays. NEWSFLASH, DUMBASS: the very FIRST battle was John Lennon vs Bill O'Reilly, and Bill O'Reilly literally says "Because I'm evil! Heart blacker than Don Cheadle!" Their very foundation as a series is shitting on Republicans! They didn't suddenly 'go woke' just because they stopped doing gay jokes and shat on Trump even more explicitly than they already did to Romney.
Anyway, I've got mixed feelings about this battle. The 'mixed' part of those feelings come from how heavy it is; I have to be in a certain mood to want to listen to this, and most times I see this pop up in my playlist I just skip on to the next one. It's uncomfortable. It's real. Maybe a little too real. But then again, maybe they were right to take it so seriously. It's still a great battle, even if it can be a little hard to come back to. The only big issue I have with it is that Lincoln coming in at the end is kind of a drag. It was funny the first time; this doesn't recapture the magic. He doesn't really have any great lines either. I tend to stop listening by the time he comes in. But besides that, this battle has an amazing instrumental track, great visuals, peak performances from both Lloid and Kimmy, and good, sometimes great, writing.
I used to think Trump won this battle despite always having been anti-Trump. Revisiting it now, I'm not sure why I thought that. Maybe it was because his part was just so entertaining, even moreso than Hillary's. Maybe it's because I, like many others, harbor a strong resentment and bitterness towards Hillary Clinton(muh Bernie) that would lead me to not be entirely honest about her performance here. Maybe it's just because that hardly anybody said Clinton won back in the day; Trump had either a majority or a clear plural majority of votes in polls, then Lincoln with a fair amount, then Clinton with a small fraction. Now I see that that is utter bullshit. The only reason anybody votes for Lincoln is either because of the Last Word Effect or because they want to be centrists about it and not side with either candidate; even if you could argue he was the best part of Obama v. Romney, here his verse falls well short of both Clinton and Trump's. On the question of Clinton v. Trump... I can kind of see how someone might think Trump won on account of how hilarious he was, but a ton of his stuff just makes himself look bad, and if we're being honest I think Clinton had better burns and more substantive lines of attack. I say Clinton>Trump>Lincoln.
inb4 someone says I got "too political" in my presidential election battle analysis

I didn't have all the things for a Naked and Famous, or a Last Word. So I made the Naked at Last, aka the Flying Nudist... https://imgur.com/a/qFaf8mC
1.5 oz Gin
0.5 oz Mezcal
2 oz Green Chartreuse
2 oz Aperol
0.5 oz cherry syrup from the cocktail cherry jar
0.5 oz lime juice
Optional: 2 dash orange bitters, 1 egg white or 1oz chickpea wateaqua faba
Make: mix all, wet shake on ice. Fine strain. Dry shake to emulsify, fine strain into a n iced coupe or red wine glass. Garnish with a skewered black cherry.
Tastes more like a Paper Plane than I expected. More floral due to the Gin & Chartreuse, but with less depth & complexity sans Amaro. Smoke still comes through with the mezcal. I'm going to ice it down next time and serve it as a boozy spritz for spring/summer barbeque with seafood skewers.

Willing to consider specific trade items for partial payment of listings you are interested in :
G&P random upper receivers
Gate Titan advanced mosfet V2 rear wired
Retro Arms V2 gearbox (8mm or 9mm)
WarHead Industries Ronin Brushless Long Shaft Motor
VFC MCX tan
G&P Magpul, Vltor, Noveske AEG Carbine, Gate Titan - $850
https://imgur.com/AP1KYGA
https://imgur.com/T4XAkWt
Externals :
• Mint condition rare G&P VLTOR lower receiver
• Rare G&P VLTOR upper receiver
• Ambi magazine release
• Magpul K2 style motor grip
• Gen 1 Magpul UBR stock with CTR enhanced but pad ( modified to fit 3000 mah titan power battery, not included )
• Ambi G&P charging handle
• Rare discontinued PTS Magpul MBUS sights black
• Replica Trijicon MRO red dot
• Replica Daniel Defence MFR 13.5' M-lok handguard (full trades)
• Madbull Noveske 14.5' bull barrel and gas block matt silver (full trades)
• Replica DBAL with QD mount (visible laser, IR laser and light)
• Surefire Socom 14mm CCW muzzle break (suppressor compatible)
• Magpul M-lok AFG grip with Silicone Carbide grip
• orange SpeedQB edition PTS EPM mag
Internals :
• custom 16:1 gears and bearings
• Gate Titan advanced trigger mosfet
• SHS 14 tooth piston, with upgraded POM piston head
• aluminum nozzle
• upgraded cylinder head with AOE correction applied
• G&P M120 high speed motor
• Adjustable precision trigger
E&C XM177 AEG with Advanced Gate Titan - $700
https://imgur.com/wpTJP1w
https://imgur.com/IfzEQNz
Externals :
• 5 G&G 79 mid cap mags with ranger plates
• Real steel barrel mount picatinny rail
• Replica Surefire M600 with BB shield
• Three prong muzzle break, tri lug for suppressors (suppressor not included)
• Real Ranger Bands
• Real Steel handguard with heat shield modified to fit gun
• Carry handle picatinny adapter
• Trijicon comp m3 replica with kill flash and scope covers
• Enhanced polymer trigger guard
• Silver adjustable trigger
• Real Steel extended charging handle latch
• ASAP sling plate
• Stock modified with epoxy extension and butt-pad for 11.1 Li Ion 3000mah split battery from Titan Power (battery not included)
Internals :
• Gate Titan advanced mosfet
• high torque motor
• Rotary hopup
• Enhanced E&C gearbox with quick change spring feature
G&P Magpul MOE AEG, Gate Titan - $750
https://imgur.com/m5EpN6o
https://imgur.com/OqbWukN
Externals :
• billet ambi MOTS lower
• PTS MOE stock, grip and handguard
• real steel mag release
• Carry handle with Picatinny Adaptor and Replica Steiner red dot on the low mount
• Troy end plate with Ambi QD sockets
• real steel tri rail
• Surefire M600 replica with arisaka mount
• two point padded multicam black sling
Internals :
• custom 16:1 gears and bearings
• Gate Titan advanced trigger mosfet
• SHS 14 tooth piston, with upgraded POM piston head
• aluminum nozzle
• upgraded cylinder head with AOE correction applied
• G&P M120 high speed motor
EMG Falkor AEG, Two Uppers, Gate Titan - $1000 (Sold)
https://imgur.com/TQYLTBR
G&P Demolition VLTOR Custom AEG - $850 (Sold)
https://imgur.com/Pk5g7PL
https://imgur.com/v8xTNR0
KWA TK45 inspired by Titanfall AEG - $800 (Sold)
https://imgur.com/RmjucBP
E&C Rare Vltor MK18 AEG - $700 (SOLD)
https://imgur.com/LdXtxPJ
Russian Zenitco DTK Putnik AK Mock Suppressor - $100
https://imgur.com/ZV3WE3a
https://imgur.com/uMnSuM3
• Dedicated 14mm CCW threads
• three piece design can be foam filled or add tracer (not included)
All Black Oil Filter Mock Suppressor - $75
https://imgur.com/5tOHw14
https://imgur.com/B3sXPNJ
• 14mm CCW thread adapter
Orange and Black COD Oil Filter Mock Suppressor - $75
https://imgur.com/YWb288g
https://imgur.com/s8rM5x8
• 14mm CCW thread adapter
Custom TM Glock 34 GBB - $700
https://imgur.com/gj5bb1b
https://imgur.com/dOte5lc
• Armorer Works polymer 80 lower frame
• Upgraded trigger bearing hammer
• 120 % trigger bar spring
• Custom silicon carbide grip job for frame
• Real steel magwell custom fit to frame
• Guarder enhanced slide release
• 1 KJW CO2 mag with real steel extended base pad
• AA Glock 34 slide ( basically a Zev Glock 34 dragonfly slide, without trades )
• Armorer Works suppressor height sights with fiber optic inserts
• Guarder lightweight Blowback housing and nozzle
• Maple Leaf I Key
• Maple Leaf crazy jet 117mm inner barrel
• Agency Arms 417 compensator full trades
• two stage 150% recoil spring and rod with rubber shim
TM Custom Glock 17 CO2 GBB - $700
https://imgur.com/nWNnOn5
• Rare burnt Bronze Salient Glock 17 slide, full trades
• Taran iron sights
• Gen 3 Glock 17 frame, full Glock trades and custom stippled, accelerator cuts and double undercuts
• Taran competition magwell, full trades
• Extended Guarder slide release
• Agency Arms adjustable trigger
• TLR-1 HL light
• Guarder lightweight blowback housing and nozzle
• Two stage 150% recoil spring and rod with rubber shim
• Trigger spring 120%
Custom AW Glock 34 CO2 GBB - $650
https://imgur.com/h17COVi
https://imgur.com/pZTWGHG
• Armorer Works polymer 80 lower frame
• 120 % trigger bar spring
• Custom silicon carbide grip job for frame
• Real steel magwell custom fit to frame
• Guarder enhanced slide release
• 1 KJW CO2 mag with real steel extended base pad
• AA Glock 34 slide ( basically a Zev Glock 34 dragonfly slide, without trades )
• Armorer Works suppressor height sights with fiber optic inserts
• Guarder lightweight Blowback housing and nozzle
• Maple Leaf crazy jet 117mm length inner barrel
• AW hopup rubber
• two stage 150% recoil spring and rod with rubber shim
• replica inforce APL light
Custom KJW KP-01 CO2 SIG P226 - $550 (Interested Party)
https://imgur.com/gSJHxLO
• Real SIG P226 wood grips, custom cut and re-stained to fit KJW
• 5 CO2 mags with Guarder enhanced feed lips, Guarder gas routers and Guarder magazine springs
• Replica Surefire X300 Ultra with full trades 800 lumens
• Custom mounted lexan bb shield on light
• Belt mounted Multicam Black P226 with X300 Kydex holster
ASG P09 GBB two slide kit - $500 (Pending)
https://imgur.com/rLI9IsF
https://imgur.com/LrQVK27
• Nuprol foam pistol case
• three co2 mags with real steel extended base plates (one mag needs the valve o ring replaced)
• P09 belt holster (can only be used if comp or suppressor is removed
• Frame has a custom silicone carbide job
• Standard slide hand polished to silver / 14mm threaded barrel / M9 hitman compensator modified to threaded barrel
• Spare slide / black / suppressor height sights / extended two piece inner barrel / threaded outer barrel / osprey 9mm suppressor
SRC Beretta M9 A3 CO2 GBB - $400 (Interested Party)
https://imgur.com/6OatFuz
https://imgur.com/JmRxnI8
• foam filled pistol case
• threaded barrel for suppressor
• 6 CO2 magazines
• 1 green gas magazine
KJW P226 E2 CO2 GBB - $350
https://imgur.com/pO01lrz
• 1 CO2 mag
• Guarder enhanced spring kit
• Guarder enhanced recoil/ hammer spring kit
• Guarder steel recoil spring guide
• Guarder steel mag release
• spare mag feed lips and gas routers
• AIP reinforced nozzle
• original KJW pistol box
• foam filled pistol case
• two pistol holsters / one with belt mount / one with molle mount
• spare inner barrel
• spare E1 grip set
ASG P09 GBB - $270
https://imgur.com/tc7A8FD
• one green gas mag
• one CO2 mag
• replica surefire X300 full trades
• belt mounted Kydex holster, fits P09 or glock with an X300
Custom Resident Evil Taurus M9 GBB - $200
https://imgur.com/op9CzcP
• foam filled pistol case
• custom frame mounted hitman compensator
• green gas mag
• racoon police grip panels, fake wood with custom silicon carbide job (spare black original grips)
WE XDM GBB - $120
https://imgur.com/VUgU0JS
• Brand new only fired to confirm it is in working order
• one silver green gas magazine
• inner barrel extension and outer barrel internal threads (compatible with thread adapters for suppressor use)
• Original box and manual
TM Custom TTI Glock 17 CO2 GBB - $750 (SOLD)
https://imgur.com/36CFZR9
Holy Warrior RMR Black - $40
https://imgur.com/5SZeL1s
https://imgur.com/nnaErqi
Assorted OD gear prices below
https://imgur.com/F28J3kt
• two MK3 style front panels $50 each
{one has 4 kydex smg mag inserts, 2 elastic pistol inserts and the half flap with an elastic shotgun bandolier insert}
{second one has 3 kydex m4 mag inserts, 2 elastic pistol inserts and the half flap with an elastic shotgun bandolier insert}
• 2 triple m4 mag elastic pouch inserts, 1 quad 9mm mag elastic inserts, replica Trex arms velcro front pouch $30 total
• 3 molle double m4 mag pouches, and 2 single 45mm SMG mag pouches $40
• 2 replica RONIN tactical belts (one pictured) with cobra buckels, one is small, the second a medium $50 each
• Double kydex glock mag pouch with belt mount, and roll up dump pouch $50
Gear assortment - $350
https://imgur.com/fMZoHQA
https://imgur.com/r6fslYE
https://imgur.com/YQQpCml
https://imgur.com/b5pIW8l
https://imgur.com/6HHRnmZ
DYE I4 mask, tinted lenses for outdoor use can be replaced with a number of purchasable color options (one of the most durable masks and custom painted shark mouth.
• Multicam baseball cap
• Canadian military backpack with built in water bladder and hose (forest digital camo)
• 2 hard shell legs rigs for pistol setups and 1 Glock holster
• tan molle thigh rig for any pouch configuration
• 2 medium size general purpose pouches
• mixed magazine pouches including High Speed Gear rifle and pistol Taco Mag Pouches, blue force gear rifle pouches and more.
• Condor chest rig, has been set up for general rifle and pistol use but with all the additional pouches can be easily re-configured and backpack can be used in tandem with chest rig for additional gear, HPA builds and water.
Tactical Inner / Outer shooting belt rig - $150
https://imgur.com/ElXIJLN
• Multicam reinforced molle shooters belt with black inner belt (small to medium)
• 3 single pistol taco pouches
• 1 single rifle taco pouch
• general purpose pouch
• replica polymer 141 tactical knife with hard sheath
Real steel glock parts - $130
https://imgur.com/2zyy20T
• 6 real steel plus 5 glock mag extensions (compatible with VFC g17 green gas mags)
• real steel universal optics plate, replaces rear iron sight (compatible with VFC glocks)
Real Steel firearm parts
https://imgur.com/I9tCGer
• G36c top rail with iron sights
• 2 Hatsan shotgun carry handles with built in iron sights
• real ar15 clamp shell handguard with heat shield (modified for tight fit with E&C
• real XM177 recoil stock pad
Assorted Handguards - make offer
https://imgur.com/3ZtFVzv
• top right / 1887 mlok handguard
• 13.5 inch Mlok handguard APS
• real G3 military surplus handguard
• 9 inch keymod krytac handguard with QD mount
• 9 inch polymer SLR ION handguard / metal barrel nut / metal QD mounts
• Top left G&P 7 inch Daniel Defense handguard
• Madbull 7 inch Daniel Defense handguard
• 7 inch fortis Mlok handguard
• 9 inch real steel Mlok handguard
Gbb buffer tubes - $30 each
https://imgur.com/rCK5TdX
• Old PTS PRS stock buffer tube
• 2 old PTS UBR buffer tubes
General M4 AEG parts and accessories - Ask more info make offers
https://imgur.com/F6SpwyT
General TM glock parts - Ask more info make offers
https://imgur.com/PPMQeP0

So the premise of my argument is that the mainstream concepts of race cause confusion and ultimately is the main contributor to bigotry. Because although you can still be bigoted towards someone based on their ethnicity / culture someone is still less likely to make assumptions about you based on your outwardly expressed genetic traits and be forced to talk to you first.
This also comes from a personal point of argumentation. So I am mixed, grew up in a predominantly black community, and ethnically I would say I’m “black”, but when asked what race I am I ussually default to just white or mixed as im pretty light with a looser curl pattern and colorful eyes. So now back to this ethnicity thing I have a problem that there is no better description or identifier for the culture that I am apart of other than black.
And then what about a black guy 2 generations suburbanized in a white community, or a white guy in a black community. Is the black guy white now and the white guy black?. What connects them to the other people of similar skin tones other than well, their skin tones. Like to us an Indian is an Indian or a “south Asian” but they don’t get it twisted they got Punjabi’s, Marathis, Gujaratis, Rajasthani and so on. And there are separate rate ethnic groups there that speak I was just naming the main ones.
Most of the world doesn’t have this problem and I think we should abandon this 1600s style way of looking at someone’s identity and heritage.
I don’t like Vivek Ramaswami but he made a good point after his talk with Anne coulter. I’m which he said regardless of his religion he was born in this country his parents assimilated and assimilated him into American culture and he is more American than many white Christian’s out there. In which he was basically saying he fits in better with upper white society than many white people.
I’m not saying to be colorblind but for logical conversation to be had about how unreliable someone’s features are for determining anything about their life or who they are.
Then my last point will be this, so the way it’s ussually classified in America is this, white, black, Asian, Arab, south/Central American, Native American. None of them give any nuance to the identity of that person and a majority of them are just geographic locations and a large chunk of the would gets left out. It all just seems so outdated and I’m shocked that we still use these terms and this logic of describing identity.

Hello, I used to shoot a lot of black powder when I was a kid, and some in my 20s. Now 50, and I've inherited all my family's guns. About 10 BP guns, 3 Hawkens, a French Tulle, Navy & Army replicas to name a few.
My problem is, it seems like the ability or getting Black Powder has changed. No where carries it and you're looked at like you are crazy when you ask. So clearly I missed the time when I was a kid and could just go in my local Gun Store and by a tin of powder.
OK, it's hazardous materials now days, I get it. BUT:

• Is everyone just paying $75-80 bucks for a pound of powder shipped?
• It seems others are mixing their own, if so what instructions are they following.
• Will my 40 year old kit guns do well with a homemade Powder mix?

Thanks in advance for a little education!
​

Students segregate themselves. Am I the only one who noticed that? Am I segregating myself from others?
Especially in the US, I noticed that a lot (not saying all!) Black, White, Asian, students tend to stay with the same race / nationality. I’ve rarely seen mixed friend groups.
As an immigrant who lived in 5 different countries, I don’t label myself…yeah I might have my Eastern European mindset/manners/ because I was born there speaking Russian (native speaker) and was raised by USSR parents, but I’m still far away from being a “stereotypical Eastern European” lol I don’t know if you get it!
M22. I Don’t smoke, I don’t drink, and I don’t go clubbing. Already cuts me off from a lot of college students!
I’ve NEVER had the chance to become friends with White Americans…I don’t know how…you guys (White Americans) have your own social circle and your rich parents paying your college tuition won’t let any outsiders in to your family…it’s the truth. Don’t pretend that foreigners with completely different lifestyle, culture, food, etc. will truly get along with Americans. Which is a pity. Your parents seemed to have accomplished the American dream while we only just got here haha. Every time that I talk to Americans…i feel like I’m being mocked. Military / retired veteran parents made fun of my dad working 2+ jobs, how we never use AC in summer, how we never go out to eat, how we don’t consume all the same media…I don’t know…
I knew many Asians (Vietnamese girls)…I guess the language barrier ruined everything because they seemed like the only motivated, funny, and caring friends. I even invited a girl for a walk which was very cute but she is moving to another state and she was interested in another guy. I’m still genuinely interested in their culture, family and country but…god knows what they are going through with their parents forcing them to study in the US.
My Russian speaking acquaintances don’t hang out with me. They go clubbing, drinking, doing other stupid things… they actually used me for their English homework and I was helping them because I was desperate to make friends (I know it’s dumb lol). I took them out to eat on campus for my OWN money and I even invited them to my house…they never invited me anywhere. Never.
It’s still a weird and hard topic for me…

I visited a family member’s cabin with my senior lab mix. She’s covered in ticks. They pulled 8 off of her during the day, I pulled just as many off during her bath the moment we got home, and now that she’s dry I’m finding more. She is on a flea tick heartworm preventative so I’m surprised to see so many. Is there something I could do to help get them all off in one go? I don’t even know what to do, do I call around groomers tomorrow and see what they can do or wait for vet on Monday? I know you aren’t supposed to shave labs, but is this a situation where I should trim her short so I can make sure to get rid of them all? She’s had patches shaved before at vets recommendation to better access skin for health reasons.

Students segregate themselves. Am I the only one who noticed that? Am I segregating myself from others?
Especially in the US, I noticed that a lot (not saying all!) Black, White, Asian, students tend to stay with the same race / nationality. I’ve rarely seen mixed friend groups.
As an immigrant who lived in 5 different countries, I don’t label myself…yeah I might have my Eastern European mindset/manners/ because I was born there speaking Russian (native speaker) and was raised by USSR parents, but I’m still far away from being a “stereotypical Eastern European” lol I don’t know if you get it!
M22. I Don’t smoke, I don’t drink, and I don’t go clubbing. Already cuts me off from a lot of college students!
I’ve NEVER had the chance to become friends with White Americans…I don’t know how…you guys (White Americans) have your own social circle and your rich parents paying your college tuition won’t let any outsiders in to your family…it’s the truth. Don’t pretend that foreigners with completely different lifestyle, culture, food, etc. will truly get along with Americans. Which is a pity. Your parents seemed to have accomplished the American dream while we only just got here haha. Every time that I talk to Americans…i feel like I’m being mocked. Military / retired veteran parents made fun of my dad working 2+ jobs, how we never use AC in summer, how we never go out to eat, how we don’t consume all the same media…I don’t know…
I knew many Asians (Vietnamese girls)…I guess the language barrier ruined everything because they seemed like the only motivated, funny, and caring friends. I even invited a girl for a date (at least I thought it was a date) but she is moving to another state and she was interested in another guy. I’m still genuinely interested in their culture, family and country but…god knows what they are going through with their parents forcing them to study in the US.
My Russian speaking acquaintances don’t hang out with me. They go clubbing, drinking, doing other stupid things… they actually used me for their English homework and I was helping them because I was desperate to make friends (I know it’s dumb lol). I took them out to eat on campus for my OWN money and I even invited them to my house…they never invited me anywhere. Never.
It’s still a weird and hard topic for me…

Students segregate themselves. Am I the only one who noticed that? Am I segregating myself from others?
Especially in the US, I noticed that a lot (not saying all!) Black, White, Asian, students tend to stay with the same race / nationality. I’ve rarely seen mixed friend groups. I feel very lonely in college.
As an immigrant who lived in 5 different countries, I don’t label myself…yeah I might have my Eastern European mindset/manners/ because I was born there speaking Russian (native speaker) and was raised by USSR parents, but I’m still far away from being a “stereotypical Eastern European” lol I don’t know if you get it!
M22. I Don’t smoke, I don’t drink, and I don’t go clubbing. Already cuts me off from a lot of college students!
I’ve NEVER had the chance to become friends with White Americans…I don’t know how…you guys (White Americans) have your own social circle and your rich parents paying your college tuition won’t let any outsiders in to your family…it’s the truth. Don’t pretend that foreigners with completely different lifestyle, culture, food, etc. will truly get along with Americans. Which is a pity. Your parents seemed to have accomplished the American dream while we only just got here haha. Every time that I talk to Americans…i feel like I’m being mocked. Military / retired veteran parents made fun of my dad working 2+ jobs, how we never use AC in summer, how we never go out to eat, how we don’t consume all the same media…I don’t know…
I knew many Asians (Vietnamese girls)…I guess the language barrier ruined everything because they seemed like the only motivated, funny, and caring friends. I even invited a girl for a date (at least I thought it was a date) but she is moving to another state and she was interested in another guy. I’m still genuinely interested in their culture, family and country but…god knows what they are going through with their parents forcing them to study in the US.
My Russian speaking acquaintances don’t hang out with me. They go clubbing, drinking, doing other stupid things… they actually used me for their English homework and I was helping them because I was desperate to make friends (I know it’s dumb lol). I took them out to eat on campus for my OWN money and I even invited them to my house…they never invited me anywhere. Never.
It’s still a weird and hard topic for me…

There was a protocol written whereby Leronmilab would be teamed with Regorafenib {Bayer} for a Colorectal trial. It did not happen for reasons I am not clear about. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10482431/ was released last year and it may give pause to that idea. A cursory reading and a scan at the black box label on Regorafenib makes clear that Bayer wins and Cyrodyn, to some degree also, but not as much as if it went solo against Colorectal. Which leave us with the question of funding the trial spoken about in the letter from Dr. Jay. A great deal of speculation about Merck being the funding source. MGK and others have done yeoman work in analyzing the Keytruda / Leronmilab murine study at MD Anderson. Of course these opinions are conjecture as is everything else on these message boards. Let me add to the mix.
Colorectal is a huge global market and an ever growing one with the entire globe digesting more and more processed and unnatural foods. The majority of Colorectal cancers are the type Dr. Jay is going after. Regorafenib is the only true show in town. Probably approved because of the desperate state of the pharmacological field. Every Pharma worth their salt has looked at Colorectal with their portfolio of treatments and has come away lacking. Probably Merck as well.
INMHO it comes down to Leronmilab combined with the least toxic of the possible candidates that have the courage to tackle the problem. Our partner has done a deep dive into the risk of going near Colorectal. Especially with an unknown tiny Biotech. They would go if they were fortified with, to borrow from Dr. Jay, "unassailable" evidence that such a partnership would work. Understand why there is buzz about Merck but there many others desperate to add or get into the Oncology field. Colorectal gets us to an income stream quicker than NASH, HIV, tNBC and they would be no objection to a weekly sub Q while Cytodyn with Dr. Sacha are finalizing another delivery system. Think we all new that 2024 was sink or swim for Cytodyn. We have the right team in place. Am certain that they have kicked back on the tires of our partner and have come to the best conclusion. Runway has been made clear of the FDA, Samsung, Amarex and much of our past detritus. Convinced there are blue skies ahead. Last chance to buy cheap shares so sit back, buckle up, order an adult beverage and enjoy the ride.

My son has been asking about when he can read the "grown up" books like me, which at the time was the First Law series. It got me thinking about what he could read in his growing years until it's appropriate to read something more mature like that. This is my attempt, using major fantasy series only (there are plenty of standalone that could be supplemented in there as well). I tried to keep in mind the complexity and length as well, beyond just the dark or mature themes. I imagine this should get him into high school at least.

1. Percy Jackson & the Olympians by Rick Riordan - Youthful and adventurous, centered on Greek mythology.
   
2. Harry Potter by J.K. Rowling - Begins as a children's series and matures over the books.
   
3. The Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis - Classic children's literature with deep allegorical themes.
   
4. The Spiderwick Chronicles by Holly Black & Tony DiTerlizzi - Engaging for younger readers, involving magical creatures and adventures.
   
5. Artemis Fowl Series by Eoin Colfer - A blend of fantasy and science fiction with a young criminal mastermind as the protagonist.
   
6. The Inheritance Cycle (Eragon) by Christopher Paolini - A young adult fantasy series featuring dragons and epic quests.
   
7. His Dark Materials by Philip Pullman - A bit more mature, dealing with complex themes and darker elements.
   
8. Redwall Series by Brian Jacques - Anthropomorphic animals in a medieval setting, meant for older children and teens.
   
9. The Bartimaeus Trilogy by Jonathan Stroud - Includes witty, mature humor with a mix of serious themes.
   
10. Ranger’s Apprentice by John Flanagan - Adventure and coming-of-age themes aimed at younger teens.
    
11. The Dark Is Rising Sequence by Susan Cooper - A mix of Arthurian legend with modern fantasy, suitable for middle school to young adults.
    
12. The Earthsea Cycle by Ursula K. Le Guin - Starts pretty simple but reveals deeper, more introspective themes.
    
13. The Old Kingdom Series by Garth Nix - Explores more complex themes, suitable for older teens.
    
14. Mistborn Series by Brandon Sanderson - Moves into more adult themes with complex magical systems and light political intrigue.
    
15. The Shannara Series by Terry Brooks - Classic epic fantasy with a traditional good versus evil plot.
    
16. The Witcher Series by Andrzej Sapkowski - Contains mature content, including complex moral choices and dark themes.
    
17. The Wheel of Time by Robert Jordan - Epic in scope with complex narratives and a vast character ensemble.
    
18. The Stormlight Archive by Brandon Sanderson - Uses deep world-building and complex themes.
    
19. The Realm of the Elderlings by Robin Hobb - In-depth character development with emotional and mature storylines
    
20. A Song of Ice and Fire by George R.R. Martin - Firmly in the mature theme camp now. With complex characters, and intricate plots.
    
21. The Kingkiller Chronicle by Patrick Rothfuss - Detailed storytelling and mature themes. At a point where better reading comprehension/attention span is very important for the full reading experience.
    
22. The Malazan Book of the Fallen by Steven Erikson - Complex with a vast scope, and a wide-spanning history. Includes themes of war, mortality, and suffering.
    
23. The Black Company by Glen Cook - Dark fantasy focusing on the lives of mercenaries in a gritty, realistic setting.
    
24. The First Law Trilogy by Joe Abercrombie - Known for its dark humor and morally gray characters.
    
25. The Broken Empire Trilogy by Mark Lawrence - Features a dark, ruthless protagonist and mature, grim content.
    

This can also hopefully serve to help someone find a series that fits their flavor or maturity in a book.

I’m mixed with 4 different things but come out more black presenting if that makes sense with yellow skin and curly hair. Unfortunately, I’ve had the unpleasant multiple experiences of attracting weird black people especially the dark skin black ones (and recently a very very weird fair skin black guy who felt the need to approve and prove his blackness by constantly using the n word (which I don’t even use) and acting like a stereotype, felt the need to comment on my appearance over and over again , how I look blasian and would not stop even after I would say that I am not blasian?l and went in on skin colour (even though he is much lighter than I am?????) ). I find that in my experiences, I find that a good amount of black people especially men as I am a man myself in university, tend to not like me. I do get the death stares , looked at side ways, looked at up and down , sometimes they would kiss their teeth at me or even spit on the floor after looking at me.
At university events , I find that many dark skin black men particularly in non academic events (so the studious bunch aren’t there but more the party sociable people) tend to exclude me and not include me. I almost have to make extra conscious effort just to be included. I don’t like it and so this leaves my being excluded from much socializing with dark skin black men as they form their own groups with other dark skin black men or occasionally will accept a white or Asian guy as their friend (occasionally their friends are largely dark skin black men but if there’s a female they welcome different shades of women) but I am left out especially as i am guessing that it is because I do not at all conform to the black man stereotype if you get what I mean. The stereotype of barely able to speak well (a number of people have actually said I am well spoken) , dressing very street with a durag , taper cut / fades , doing drugs, listening only to hip hop/rap (I sometimes listen to Spanish and French rock and I had one dark skin black guy tell me that black people don’t listen to rock? I listen to all types of music but mostly afrobeats , amapiano , French hip hop / RnB (I go to school in an anglophone area, so many don’t listen to French stuff here), rock, Moroccan music etc).
The way I dress is a mixture of kind of preppy kind of casual , more on the well put together refined side if that makes sense (even when it’s more street there’s a difference between how they dress and how I dress if that makes sense). These guys often tend to dress more street if that makes sense and I don’t know why but when I am in their setting , there’s already a dislike they have towards me and they often would rather speak to a white or Asian guy and not speak to me even if we are all new there. Or sometimes if they do speak to me, they see that I am not a stereotype and the conversation will die out quickly.
With black women i tend to find that dark skin black women socialize with me more than lighter skin or mixed race black women. In these encounters there’s often a conversation about hair , some outright vocally say, I wish I had your hair or feel the need to comment about my hair ? Some are rude and hostile towards me for no reason , I can just meet some and I am dealing with attitude from the get go which is annoying for me especially as someone who comes from a background of having a narcissistic abusive family , attitude is not something I like dealing with people right off the bat. It’s definitely a lot more of a pleasant experience than dealing with a lot of black men. I find that dealing with a number of black people, I am more likely to get along with the women over the men, but as a whole I feel like many black people do not like me , I don’t get along with many I tend to meet (with the exception of the ones who are straight from Africa and haven’t been westernized much if at all, those ones are a lot better encounters for me).
Any insights ? Has anyone else also experienced this as well or no?

The moment a lot of you have been waiting for is here!
A couple of notes before you read (or after because I would just jump into the list right away too)

1. Direct quotes from Ali herself are in italics.
2. I tried my best to keep everything in timeline order. Some people like The Come Back Kid I placed in the order where they reconnected/talked about on the pod. But I did my best to note this.
3. All this information came from the FMH podcast, the Patreon, the original FMH blog, TikTok and other podcast that feature FMH/Ali. I also crossed reference information with this sub. I got most of this done with the help of the Patreon and listening to 1.75x speed but I lost accessed to the Patreon because my subscription ended.
4. I'm open to edits! Things around the matchmaker era confused me and if anything is incorrect or if I'm missing someone, please let me know! I will note where corrections are made.
5. Some people don't have anything simply because only a name was said or I couldn't find any details about the person/date
6. And of course, please be respectful of all the sub rules!

Names on the original FMH blog

• Mr. Adorable aka The Coach
• Trouble
• Waffles
• Future Husband Brian (FHB)
• Cookie
• Peter Pan
• Ambiguous Goodbye Guy
• Bad Bitch Man

AOL chatroom Boyfriend
Mentioned on Tiktok and on the pod once
Myspace Boyfriend
Mentioned on Tiktok
Third Boyfriend
Met on eCrush.com in 2002 and this was mentioned on the Cracked Up podcast, The Dave Glaser Podcast and Tiktok
The Kiwi
Met on a 2 week Model UN type youth trip in high school when Ali was 15, never a boyfriend but she had a huge crush on him, he tried to kiss Ali and she literally ran away, didn’t talk the rest of the trip but exchanged numbers and screen names (Ali’s was FineGal13 or BeachJewel760), she made him a mixtape cd called “Ali’s really cool mix for The Kiwi” but never sent it and she still has it. In 2021, he DM’d her when she posted photos of her and her mom in France and invites her to visit him in London, she says she can’t but says they should catch up if he comes to NYC
Fourth Boyfriend
Met on OkCupid when you had to use it on the computer, this was mentioned on Tiktok
The Homecoming Date or Light Switch
First boyfriend? (she goes back and forth calling him her first bf or a situationship), a family friend, a month younger than Ali, dated in high school but went to different high schools, football player, made him ask her to her Homecoming dance over email (her words), Ali hid in the bathroom the whole Homecoming dance, 3-4 revisits of this situations as adults, saw him on Bumble a few years ago and texted him that he had a typo in his bio, “he very much wanted to be with me” and now he’s married with a kid. His mom is still “obsessed” with Ali and she listens to FMH
Random college guy
Freshman year of college, Ali doesn’t have a nickname for him/doesn’t remember his real name, met this guy through a friend, was texting him to invite him over to hot tub but her phone autocorrected to “how about some hot rubbing tonight?” but Ali didn’t noticed/didn’t correct it and he never replied, Ali had a house party and got really drunk and was all over him, he left the party early, she messaged him on MySpace 3-4 times asking why he left
The Resident
Matched on Match.com, first guy she dated in NYC after college, older than Ali, a doctor, lasted 3 months ”maybe”, he didn’t like Ali’s friends, got a card from him on her birthday and it said “Love, The Resident” and it took Ali back a little, Ali drinks black coffee because of him, he coordinated having her mom visit NYC for her birthday then he broke up with her a week later
The Ghost
Met at a bar when she was 25, turns out they matched on OkCupid and they already had a date scheduled next week, they dated for 6-8 weeks, had sleepovers, “The worst ghosting experience I’ve ever had”, he borrowed The Great Gatsby from Ali’s roommate, planned to make dinner together after a beach trip in August with her friends and never showed up, Ali is blowing up his phone and gets no reply, two weeks later she finally texts “are you alive? check yes or no” and he responds “Yes”, Ali then ask if he could return the book and gets no reply again, 5 months go by and she receives the book in the mail with the note: “Here’s the book back. Sorry. P.S. sorry about last summer. I was in a bad place. You’re a great person and your salmon is amazing”, since then she has ran into him twice on the streets and matched with him on Bumble
The Coach/Mr. Adorable
First serious boyfriend at 26/27 in 2013, matched on Match.com or met through work depending if you’re listening to the pod or reading her OG blog, clean-cut look, played volleyball, Ali invited him to a friend’s birthday party and they made out in the streets at 4am, on their second date he asked Ali if she was seeing any one and when Ali said no he ask her to be his girlfriend 3 days after their first date, dated for almost 1.5 years or almost 2 years depending on if you’re listening to the pod or the Patreon, first time saying “I love you” to a guy, “lovely guy“, never would posted Ali on his instagram until Ali said something, he “lived” with her for two weeks while he was in between apartments, tried blind folding/hair pulling during sex and she didn’t like it, by the end of their relationship Ali didn’t like sex and thought she wasn’t a very sexual person, after they broke up Ali drunk texted him at 2am and he picked her up and she spent the night and she took her things in the morning in a rolly suitcase, from her blog in 2015: “I just want to be careful I don’t end up with another Mr. Adorable situation, where I find myself dating my platonic best friend”, had drinks with him in 2016 from the blog: “Not in a romantic way (at least on my end)”, Ali still talks to him sometimes through casual instagram DMs, he’s currently (as of 2021) dating someone for 4+ years and Ali thinks they’re going to get engaged
Trouble
OG 2015 FMH blog, never mentioned on the pod, “I was immediately enamored with him”, met at a Beer Olympic party but he worked with one of Ali’s best friends (Ali was still dating The Coach at the time), lived in BK, tattoos and stubble, Ali’s best friend said he was a “fuck boy”, “he very much made me see that it was the right thing for me and The Coach to not be together”, from her blog in 2015: “he has this look in his eye like he’s constantly laughing at me – in a super sexy way”, he texted her saying he didn’t see anything romantically with her and she sent a gif of someone shrugging
Personal side note: Ali has mentioned she has cheated on someone but never disclosed who she cheated on or with. I feel like she cheated on Mr.A/The Coach with Trouble because of the timeline. Just a guess.
Waffles
Matched on Bumble, OG 2015 FMH blog, he asked Ali fuck/marry/kill breakfast foods, dated 2 months around summer time, on Fourth of July while watching fireworks he said how they had a great day and Ali replied with something along the lines with “yeah, it would be better if I could call you my boyfriend”, he said he wanted a relationship but just not with Ali and shortly afterwards they stopped seeing each other
The Buffalo
Lived in Buffalo NY, 6’5, Scorpio, met in 2015 at Adults National volleyball (Ali’s team won that year) where he was heckling her while she was playing, asks Ali’s mom for her number and Ali’s mom said “I guess you’re tall enough” and told him to ask her himself, he flew her out and she met his parents, dated over summer, exclusive but never boyfriend/girlfriend (but called him her LD boyfriend on TikTok), texted and talked on the phone a lot, Ali’s best friend’s favorite ex “they had really good banter”, in October he invited her to his cousins wedding and she invited him to her friends wedding, after Ali bought her ticket to his cousins wedding (with the promise he would buy her ticket to her friend’s wedding) he ghosted and stonewalled her, she “poured her heart out to him on voicemail” and he never replied, she asked him to pay her back for her ticket and he got mad that she “made this about money”, 2 years later he told Ali that he freaked out because he really liked her and saw a future with her but knew she would never move to Buffalo and it would “never work”, Ali said at the time she would have considered moving for him, Ali used to have him blocked on Facebook and told all her friends not to update her on info about him (unless she asked). He’s now married and goes to Disney with his wife (which Ali kind of scoffs at?), Ali said on TikTok that she dodged a bullet
Baby Bic
Met him at Adults National years ago, had a flirtationship with him in 2016 when he was 19 years old, ran into him at the Adults Nationals 2021, last texts she got from him were about getting his fake ID taken away at the bar and him visiting her in NYC but Ali didn’t want to buy him beer and drink at her apartment
The Chef
Matched on Tinder around 2016, he loved karaoke, “total shit”, asked Ali to be his girlfriend and to meet his mom after a month, off and on dating, broke up the first time because he was talking to his ex, lied and flew to Mexico to see his ex while dating Ali, that ex sent Ali a Snapchat of them in bed together on that Mexico trip, Ali broke up with him via text and called him a shitty boyfriend, he’s the reason Ali deleted her Snapchat because of drunk Snaps he would send post break up, FB messaged Ali 6 years later (while Roark was visiting/staying with Ali) and said sorry for being a shit head. Ali’s best friends hated him
The Dentist
Met on Halloween in the wild, Canadian, dated NYE 2016- May 2017 “nice guy, not my guy”, one of Ali’s best friend’s favorite ex “he adored you, “he was too sweet for me” and “he had no edge to him”, he painted Ali’s cat for her 30th birthday but she was annoyed it was just Rory and not both cats, The Chef texted Ali while on a date/sleeping at his house
ASV - Aspiring Sober Vegan
Met through a friend (her best guy friend’s college roommate) the day before she had to fly out to her dad’s memorial, a doctor, into meditation, remembered him “being cuter” when they went on a first date, felt “the spark”, had “omg this is awesome sex”, Ali described this relationship as a “slow burn” and “the most attracted she ever been to a partner” even thought she didn’t think he was that cute in the beginning, dated 2-3 months before he tried to ghost Ali but they talked and broke up, four months later they start casually dating/FWB because he’s moving but this turns into a ‘middle distance relationship’ and he moves to Philly, had a lot of communication issues but didn't have a lot of fights, wants to live in Ohio and give a % of his income to charity, Ali was close to saying ‘I love you’ but didn’t, he uninvited her to meet his extended family and they got in a fight, broke up with her a couple weeks before their 6 month anniversary at the park while on a picnic and told her that she’s still his favorite person, Ali used to think he was “the one that got away” and would frequently have dreams about him. From what Ali knows, he's sober but not vegan
The Scientist
2017 or 2018ish, from San Diego, went on one date, Ali ended up ghosting him due to the decline in her dad’s health, saw him on Hinge while she was in San Diego for 3 months in 2020, texted him and apologized for ghosting him, ended up going on 2-3 more dates, took a selfie in front of his house and sent it to him but acted like she didn’t know that was his house and made a TikTok about it, things ended up not working but she doesn’t make it clear on who ended it. She can now see she shouldn’t have been going on dates during this time when her dad was sick.
Good on Paper Divorced Dude
Met a couple of years ago (she told this story on TikTok in 2020) on Bumble
The Groomsman
Met at her friend Ashley’s wedding in Chicago Oct 2019, had a “two night stand” with him, texted/talked/FT’d for 3-4 months, divorced, never dated seriously/FWB, saw each other a couple time when he came to NYC, Ali stopped talking with him due to FMH and her trying to find a serious relationship, he starts dating someone, follows FMH on insta, slid into her DM in 2022 and then sent her soup while she was sick, turns out he’s single again, 2 months later Ali is heading to Chicago and texts him “Hello! Reminder that my arrival to your neck of the woods is imminent” and turns out he is now seeing someone and Ali doesn’t see him while in Chicago (at least she doesn’t mention it)
Unnicknamed person
He was her plus one at her best friend from college’s NYE wedding 2019/2020, met and hung out with Ali’s mom, posted photos of them together on her personal Insta story, “fully dating but weren’t official hehe” doesn’t have a nickname/never gave him a nickname? This could be The Latvian/the person she texted her friend in DC about saying “I think I’m on a date with my husband”

Starts FMH on January 2020 on Instagram/TikTok

The Traveler
He was browsing Bumble while Ali was in the bathroom during their first date, he was banned from Bumble and was using his grandma phone number. Ali turned down a second date
The Duke
Early FMH, went for long periods of time in between texts, 7-8 Zoom dates while Ali was in San Diego and he was in NY, Ali said you could see three of his ex’s on his instagram page (without scrolling), they finally went on one date and it was “meh” but they did kiss on their date
The Oyster
Matched on Bumble (he had one photo and no bio) two weeks before Valentines Day, Gemini, a lawyer, part of the 13 First Dates in 30 Days series (he was #13), dated Feb 2020-Aug 2020, love bomber, felt “the spark” and became official after 3 dates, best first date ever??? at the time, said “I love you” to Ali after two weeks, “For most of my relationship with The Oyster, he didn’t live in the city he had moved to Connecticut without telling me”, would fight all the time, opposite political views, Ali felt like a “fucking summer camp director” because she planned all their dates and he would get upset if Ali didn't have a plan, sought out a therapist (Megan) because of her relationship struggles because of him, went to Mass/church, he wanted a traditional marriage/life/wife/kids (at one point had Ali thinking she wanted that), didn’t want to live in NYC, didn’t support BLM, Cindy hated him
The Pilot
Went on 3 dates, texted a lot, didn’t hear back from him in four days and when she said she was looking to date someone who showed more consistency, he replied saying he met someone the day after their last date who seems to have more free time than Ali and he wants to pursue that but would like to be friends, Ali said on TikTok that this other women “bent her schedule to his schedule” and she was unwilling to do that. Mostly talked about him on TikTok
The Analyst
Matched on Bumble two years ago and went on one date, re matched in 2021 and he stood Ali up, she send him a text “getting stood up” script and he never replied. Only mentioned him on TikTok (?)

Ali and Roark start FMH: The Podcast February 2021

The Boomerang
First date on the pod? I couldn't find anything else about him
The Scuba Diver
The Music Man
One date, “he didn’t do anything wrong, he’s just not for me”, amped up small talk, complimented Ali a lot which made her feel awkward cause she wasn’t feeling it, he texted her and asked for a second date and Ali sent the no ghosting script
The Bet
Uses the phrase “ok bet”, 28 years old shoe designer, only went on one dinner date to a spot he picked, turns out its cash only and he didn’t bring cash, was not into him , not looking for the same thing
The Dinosaur
Nickname was previously The Hawaiian, first date at Dinosaur BBQ, stood in a parking spot to save for Ali, he asked for a kiss after their date and Ali declined saying maybe next time
The Rose
He sent her a rose on hinge, first date was an hour long walk in the park while drinking beer
The Comic
Matched on Hinge, older than Ali (Ali’s friends express how happy they were to hear that), had brunch on their first date (was the first part of a double header but the second guy canceled), listed as “moderate” politically on Hinge, good and easy convo, went back and forth twice over text and then never heard back from him, “technically not ghosting...”
The Camper
Met in the wild at a volleyball tournament in July, lives in Chicago, 27 years old, hung out the whole time, over heard Ali asking someone to get her a make out partner, gave Ali his number, drunkly ask him for a FT date in the future and he didn’t reply, Ali texts him again about a volleyball thing and he replied back with not a lot of enthusiasm, Ali is going to Chicago in Sept for a volleyball tournament and she’s already planning on playing 4-on-4 with her best friend vs. his roommate and maybe The Camper, he texts her saying he has to work on the date of the tournament and won’t be able to do the 4-on-4 game, “I feel like I got broken up with someone I never want to date in the first place”

Ali’s Matchmaker contract starts in August 2021 - 6 matches

The Schmoozer
Went on a dinner date, was chatting up the waitress in a kind of creepy way, was bragging about a lot of things and it turned Ali off and Ali texted him her no ghosting script
The Accountant
1st matchmaker match, 31 years old, lives in BK, his dad has also passed away, easy to talk to, on the third date she wasn’t sure if she saw a future with him and in her gut doesn’t feel like this would be a slow burn, Ali breaks things off with him, months (?) later he sent Ali a 5 min long voice memo and they said they were both down to see each other as friends. He later on dated and ghosted Erica
The Aussie
Matched on Hinge, in politics, from Australia but lived all over the place, asked Ali what she’s looking for on the first date and he said he’s “casually looking for something serious”, Ali accidentally walks up to a different person on their second date, Ali texts him saying she would love to see him before he leaves on a trip and she wasn’t happy that it took him till the next day to reply and he can’t see her before he leaves
The Goalie
Was supposed to be Ali’s 2nd match, he’s a paying client, Ali didn’t hear back from him for a while when she told him where she lived, he wrote to the matchmaker saying that she lived too far away even though it states where she lives in her matchmaker profile
The Journalist
2nd matchmaker match, ended things because she was dating/pursuing things with The Discoball and paused her matchmakers matches

The Threepeat
Matched multiple times on dating apps but this recent time with Hinge, Amazon seller, first date was a pizza lunch date (with bubbles aka champagne) and he gave her a single yellow carnation, talked a lot about her “side hustles” aka her food blog, coaching, FMH and the pod (Ali didn’t mentioned the name on FMH), had an awkward half kiss during the date and then gave her a peck when they said goodbye, he had no night stands by his bed?, spent the night but told public pod they had a movie night, different kissing styles, 6 dates, broke things off with Ali two days before her first date with The Rower WHILE Ali was on a Halloween girls trip
The Rower
Dated from Halloween 2021 till early Feb 2022, Pisces who is 6 days older than Ali, has an ex-fiancé (they dated for 8 years, engaged for two of them, she broke off the engagement with him 1.5 years ago once he started dating Ali), has a shared dog with this ex, slept together around Xmas on the fourth date and Ali got a UTI, first time having “omg this is awesome sex” since ASV, first person Ali slept next to wearing an eye mask "that's a big step for me", had him watch 90 Day Fiancé, on New Years Day told her that he sees “long term relationship potential” with her but doesn’t want to be exclusive after 5 dates, “we didn’t talk all week”, he said he wasn’t as ready as he though to date someone seriously and “I don’t know why I don’t want to be in a relationship with you” they broke up over the phone, Ali said he’s a good human and wants to date someone like him, 3.5 weeks later Ali drunk texted him at 3:00 am saying “its really hard not to talk to you” which Ali said was a lie, he replied back (few days? A week later?) while Ali was on another date and it made her cry a bit, she replied back saying “the door is closed but not locked” in regards if he wants to get back together. “Fin… for now”

2022

The Discoball
Matched on Hinge but didn’t go on a first date for two week, Gemini, used to be a singer in a band, moved from DC to NYC, went on 7 dates in 2022, had a dog w/ ex and ex got full custody once he moved, met one of his friends on the second date, slept with him on the second date “morning and night”, he tried to find the podcast without knowing the name, podcasted from his house in DC, he would send Ali photos of them together “all the time”, gave a virtual presentation from his hotel room, did Molly together in DC, had him watch 90 Day Fiancé, moved to BK (didn’t see each other for 2 months pre-move), had a sex-less sleepover (a milestone for Ali), he showed up for her on her dad’s death date (something that a person she’s dating has never done), used to listen to the pod but stopped before they stopped seeing each other, ghosted her after they had a talk about moving things forward to exclusive and Ali texted him something along the lines of “your silence is the answer” when she didn’t hear back from him for a week and he ghosted her. Ali said he sucks in #77 AUA
Lisbon
The Brit
M&M
The Come Back Kid
They went on 2-3 dates in Nov 2018 and reconnected in May 2022, "felt immediately comfortable", sat next to a very drunk lady on their second 1st date and was supportive but "didn't step on Ali's toes" when the drunk lady said something offensive to Ali, couldn’t remember if they slept together or not, knows about FMH, ghosted Ali
The Trainer
The Cold Brew
The Nomad
3rd matchmaker match, reminded Ali of The Oyster, wanted kids and didn’t want to live in NYC forever, Ali was upset at first because her matchmaker was supposed to screen for that but the matchmaker DID check and it wasn’t mentioned when she was screening The Nomad, no second date because those are dealbreakers to him
The Catcher
Matched on Bumble, “good not great” after their first date, ~April 2022, talked about sports a lot on their first date
The Gentleman
4th matchmaker match, knew about Ali’s FMH socials before their date, Ali didn’t like his texting style, awkward intro on their first date “like hugging a 2 x 4”, he runs a dating event company and actually email Ali to be a guest on the pod when FMH first started, awkward goodbye, didn’t discuss the actual first date on the main pod because she doesn’t want to give him a reason to reach out again
The Tennis Pro
Ali had a good time on their date, “He is an adult, he’s mature” BUT “I don’t think he was into it”
The Padre
Matched on Bumble, 3 dates, from San Diego, “energy mismatch”, doesn’t want to know or listen to FMH, no psychical connection/kiss, only a kiss on the cheek on their last date, “I haven’t spoken to him since Friday night [a week]”, she didn’t want to do what The Threepeat did to her (break up while on vacation/traveling), she said it might be a MOO

Roark leaves and Erica joins the pod Oct 31st 2022

Captain Kirk
5th matchmaker match, found him on Bumble before their in-person date, ghosted Ali AND the matchmaker???
6th matchmaker match
Last match and Ali states she will not talk about this date or anything about it
JFK Kirk?
Matched on Bumble, didn’t realize he’s located in SD, exchanged personal instagram info, not sure where things went or how things ended

Kirk #1
Met in the wild, make out a lot the night they met, “stealing kisses throughout the night”, exchanged numbers, planned a date (no specifics, just the day) but when Ali texted him day of he asked to reschedule (no specifics again), he replied back that he’s picking up a rental car, told him she’s looking for someone to respect her time and he never replied back

2023

The Falcon
First date of 2023, matched on The League, first nickname was “League Kirk”, hard to talk to, felt like Ali was always reaching for the next topic, likes to travel, “there wasn’t a vibe”, MOO
The Roommate
Used to be her friend’s roommate and have met before (Ali doesn’t remember but it was the day after that exclusive convo with The Rower), “totally cute”, reunited at their mutual friend’s engagement party January 2023, made out at the bar, comes back to her place and sleeps over (no sex), Ali questions why her friends never set them up and its because he was taking a break from dating, first date they made out a lot at the bar (again), “I really felt like we were already a couple”, “It didn’t feel like a first date”, mentions her FMH content has popped up on his FYP, tried texting him after their date and he wasn’t giving effort, she’s glad she didn’t sleep with him because “one night stands aren’t my thing”, MOO
The Belgian
Matched on Bumble, accidentally had their first date during a trivia night at a bar, easy to talk to
The Viking
Ali forgot they had a first date on the day of said date
Tinder Man
Matched on Tinder (duh) on Valentine’s Day, first Tinder date in three years, good convo on first date but got a pushy vibe from him at the second bar they went to, put his hand up her sweater and was kissing her in the bar, made Ali uncomfortable and she told him that after her asked her on a second date
The Historian
Matched on Bumble, good conversation on the first date with a wide range of topics like “urban planning and its impact on feminism”, he’s in grad school
The Georgian
Matched on Hinge, he asked if she was free on Friday and she said yes but didn’t hear back from him in two days and in that time she made plans for Friday, rescheduled for a Saturday afternoon date at a dive bar, ate on her way to her date “it would be next level rude to eat on the subway”, good first date, talked about places he wants to take her to
The Publicist
Matched on Tinder, lives in BK, Jewish, one year younger then Ali, good first date, invited him to the Chaotic Singles Party that night, came over to Ali's apartment (which Ali said was messy) before and he made her favorite cocktail for her, a couple of listeners met him at the CSP, goofy and silly convo mixed with deep and serious convos, second date was at the Brooklyn Botanical Gardens and a tasting menu dinner, he made a Resy reservation and Ali got an email saying she was added to it ”fuck receiving gifts, THAT’S my love language”, he's into words like Ali, he sneezed and Ali said "God bless you" but then corrected herself and said "gesundheit" and he leaned over and kissed her and said he loves that she cares about her words, he met her friends on the third date ”It felt so easy. It felt so comfortable”, her friends took “sneaky” picture and videos of them together which Ali said she loves a sneaky pic, took all their date recap videos on his phone, cooked Ali steak on their fourth date, "it's very comfortable", had him watch 90 Day Fiancé, Ali met two of his friends and some of his teammates he plays a rec sport with, had sex the day they took a trip outside of the city, Erica met him before their trip to Greece and I said “he’s dorky in a good way”, WhatsApp video chatted while in Greece and told her “see you in two days!” at the end of their call, said she felt less anxious about him compared to other relationships while on vacation, sent him a birthday present while she was in Greece, felt an energy shift coming back from vacation and didn’t hear back from him 3 days after she came home, Ali requested a call to talk about this distances she was feeling, ”I did the 12 date rule and it didn’t work!”, she said the distance help her see that they’re not compatible, went on a total of 9 dates. Ali talks about the “break up” on episode 123
Mr. Chaotic
Matched on Tinder but he saw Ali at the Chaotic Singles Party and Cassidy the host is there mutual friend, went to a brewery and played games on their first date (Ali said this was her favorite first dates in episode 147 where they recapped 2023), works in entertainment industry, very high energy, knows about FMH and he said she's entertaining to watch, splits his time between NYC and some unknown city, texted while she was in Greece, ”The man gives good texts”
Random Matchmaker Match
Withdrew his match to Ali because he found her FMH socials. Talked about on #71 AUA
Gone with the Wind
Matchmaker match, said some gross things about women in volleyball outfits on their first date, Ali told her matchmaker about this, ”I would describe him as misogynistic overall”, Ali was glad he did say those weird things so early on so she didn’t waste her time, the matchmaker flagged his account. This was around June 2023
The Rock
Ali knows him from an activity that they used to be involved with in the city (she's very vague about what this is) from 8 years ago, he had a very serious/long term GF when they met, follows her personal Insta, has never talked about him because he’s never been a “prospect”, summer 2023 they met up to catch up and found out that he’s now recently single but he’s moving out of NYC for work, Ali texts Cindy saying she thinks this is a date, Cindy said to tell him that you really want to kiss him, he ends up telling Ali “I really want to kiss you”, made out at the bar, Ali invited him back to her apartment and they had sex the night before Ali ended things with The Publicist, “one night stand vibes” but she said she was down to do it again, Patreon only and talked about on #75 AUA
The Tourist
Matched on Hinge, just moved to Brooklynn, went to a brewery in BK for their first date, Ali showed up to the date dripping in sweat, allergic to cats, he sent Ali a ‘no ghosting’ text the next morning
The Stout
Matched on Bumble, ”we had really great banter right away”, laughed the whole time on their first date, talked about going on a second date during their first date
Speed Racer
Matched on Bumble, drinks first date, axe throwing second date, made out after their second date, MOO, randomly texted Ali ~6 months later because he said one of Ali’s date recap videos about him popped up on his FYP (Ali and Erica think this is a lie), he thought Ali wasn’t into him, he claims he was doing all the work with texting even though there was only a few messages since they exchanged numbers after their second date
Billy Joel
Recently sober, Ali said she felt like they had several inside jokes before they met in person, ate pizza on her way to their first date, second date was getting coffee and going to the museum, they cooked dinner together for their third date at Ali’s apartment and they watched 90 Day Fiancé (he didn’t like it), he Googled how to clean a red wine stain when it spilled on her countertop, he asked if she wanted to have sex and she turned it down, the next day/the day before a 7am flight Ali booty called him and they had sex, she was drunk and said the sex wasn’t good/they stopped mid way, helped Ali pack for her flight, Ali said he’s at a crossroad and he doesn’t seem like a long term fit, Erica found a condom on the ground while cat sitting, Ali said she didn’t regret hooking up with him but wishes she hadn’t done it, MOO
Sales Cycle
30 seconds in and Ali said he was very boring, only really talked about his job, stared at Ali’s boobs, “might be a MOO”, texted her ‘merry christmas’

2024

Pie Guy/Dr. Laundry
Matched on The League, 34 years old, requested a nickname change from Pie Guy to Dr. Laundry, he had to cancel their second date because he got hit by a car, went on two dates, Ali sent him a pic of his subway stop saying something along the lines of “the stop isn’t looking as cute today” and turns out someone he dated with in that photo, were supposed to go on a third date the night she got back from a bachelorette party but he didn't answer her text when she said she landed, the next day he asked her how her trip was not acknowledging her previous text at all, Ali expressed her disappointment and he replied that he was tired last night, she said she would've been understanding if he said something then ghosted her
Andddd I stopped listening to the podcast around the Dr. Pie Laundry Guy but have stayed up to date with everything via this sub.
I have a huge interest in dating culture, human behavior and data similar to Ali and this little project of mine was really interesting once I got the framework of this list. I started this list once I found this sub in December 2023 and started re listening to the Patreon while working out (and lost 10 lbs ayeee) and writing down information in my notes app. I did my best to keep this list unbiased and just give facts and information that was said.
My own thoughts after making this list is that I'm very sad for Ali. I didn't realize the extent of her dating history. I think about my own dating history or even my friends who are in their 30's and dating and Ali's dating lore runs so deep. Is Ali unlucky with love? Did she pass on someone that could have been great for her? How has she had so many dates with little success in a long term partner or even going beyond 6-8 dates? Or is Skyline the person she has been waiting for? What's the pattern with all this dates/men? So many questions.
I truly do hope Ali finds her guy because I believe theres someone for everyone. Until then, I'll be hopping into this sub (cause y'all are too funny and give the best advice) and waiting for Ali to find Mr. Height.
Enjoy and I look forward to everyone thoughts! I'll keep my eye out for any edits that need to be made.
Bonus quotes:
“Longest relationship was a little under a year and a half. Haven’t made it past 6 months with anyone else” - AUA #7 11/27/21
“I spent the first 10+ years of my dating life being sort of perennially single” -1. The Actual First One episode 2/21/21
"I think my parent's story is the reason why I think that I can romantically get back together with an ex and it'll work out" -The Dave Glaser Podcast 4/5/21
“Almost every relationship I’ve ever been in, with a couple of exceptions, started as a situationship.” -21. The Undefined One 7/11/21
“All of my boyfriends have been white” -Ali’s BFF Special on Patreon 4/23/22
“You definitely need an older guy” -Cindy on Ali’s BFF Special on Patreon 4/23/22
“I’ve been on the dating apps since high school. Dating websites at the time” -Ali’s BFF Special on Patreon 4/23/22
“Who would be the perfect man for Ali?”
“Clearly a combination of the The Dentist and [the early stages of] The Buffalo” -Cindy on Ali’s BFF Special on Patreon 4/23/22
“Do you consider The Rower or Disco ball to have been situationships?”
“No, I don't consider either The Rower or The Disco Ball to be situationships” -question asked on TikTok 11/9/22

ACT 1. Sunday afternoon after visiting the local market two brothers wait for their train to arrive. If they were even a minute late, they knew their mother would surely scold them and scold the elder of the two far worse. The idea of another beating did not bother the elder brother; he had been through far worse just dealing with the brat and his attempted jailbreaks, though something did begin to make him painfully nauseous forcing him to feel pressured by the light breeze as if gravity had suddenly been increased tenfold. All his senses were heightening beyond anything he had thought possible.All around him he saw that the once energetic and hyperactive passengers had become little more than mannequins; their movements slowing to a standstill. They had all gone silent. The station was no longer filled with the cries of children or the gentle laughs of their parents. He had never heard such silence in such a crowded location. He did not feel panicked, nor did he feel a need to act for this silence was oddly comforting to him. However, the newly calm atmosphere would quickly be the source of a lifetime of suffering.His hand began to reach for his brother in an attempt to call his attention. Though in a moment of both unprecedented shock and exhaustion John shoved his younger brother onto the rails of an oncoming train. Local news would report the incident as nothing more than a tragic manic episode of a young sixteen-year-old. However, for John this single visceral instant in which all of his brother's bones were instantly crushed was stretched into hours. He was painfully aware of how every bone in his brother's body contorted in inhuman ways some nearly resembling perfect right angles, until eventually, they snapped and sent insurmountable pain throughout his nervous system. His blood curling screams were made mute by the screech of the train coming to a halt, though, by the time they stopped, his brother had torn his every vocal cord and had long ago lost consciousness. Still on the platform, the elder brother stood still, attempting to process what exactly he had done. He had no idea what force had compelled him to push his brother, but that instant would forever define what he saw as reality.That however was nineteen years ago, in present day he lived in isolation far from any person. He spent his isolated days wandering the land around his cabin completing house chores that distracted him from reminiscing about his days in the asylum or as he liked to call it “The Echo Room” where he was transferred after the incident. He headed inside after spending a portion of his morning counting all one-hundred-and-thirty-two trees that were showing signs of life after the harsh winter that nearly forced him to cut down two of them for firewood. Once inside he began preparing his morning coffee when he heard a loud creak come from the hall. He (after many incidents) learnt to avoid the boards that creaked, so in his mind immediately an intruder was breaking into his cabin searching for food or his stash of special edition coffee. Deciding to investigate he walked towards the noise when suddenly he heard two knocks at his front door. Confused and slightly worried, he proceeded to walk towards the door making sure not to step on any of the annoyingly loud floorboards.He approached and looked through the peephole and saw only what remained of the melting snow outside. Opening the door, he saw that only his steps led to the doormat. He glanced around and saw no indication of any life aside a few dark patches on the snow. He was about to close the door when he noticed a tiny red package wrapped in a radiant red bow placed clear from where the door would open. Cautiously picking it up, he noticed how it had almost no weight to it; as if empty. He walked inside and sat at his desk planning to journal later about the weird morning he had been having. He examined the exterior of the package and saw how not only was it near perfect condition but it was also slightly warm to the touch; as if recently held. He undid the bow and cautiously opened the package, half expecting an explosive of some sort. Though, all he found was a ragged ripped piece of paper. Unremarkable aside from the fact that it was inside such a carefully constructed package. On the other side he saw that it had some scarlet lettering inscribed into it reading.“Ouroboros”. At first believing it to be a prank by the kids who had heard rumors about him, and his incident, nearly caused him to dismiss it entirely deeming it little more than a slightly humorous event. He decided to put it aside for now as he had coffee left to drink that was quickly getting cold. He walked back towards the kitchen still distracted by the idea of no trace being left by whoever had left the gift. Was it even a gift? Maybe it was just some well-executed prank? In any manner he would later have a better look at it. He absentmindedly, reached for his cup and immediately pulled his hand back shocked by the temperature of the cup. It was frozen! Almost to a complete solid. He thought himself slightly distracted but not enough to freeze his morning coffee especially not his special edition coffee. First The Box and now this, it was all adding up to an annoying morning. Was it still morning? No, that’s not right. He had just spent the day counting trees. How could it still possibly be morning?The thought of Dr. Lumis being correct about his mental condition after so many years sent a chill down his spine especially since last time they talked, he did not exactly behave amicably. He was sure that both incidents had been isolated events that could never happen again. Sure, he had heard the echoes every once in a while, but he was never insane like the others; this he knew to be a fact. If he was insane, how could he have ever left? Disoriented and beginning to sweat, his legs suddenly gave out causing him to fall backward landing on the cold wooden floorboards. He looked around hurriedly expecting to see an intruder that had somehow found him. After seeing nothing but his pristine furniture, he steadied himself and began to control his breathing. He slowly got up causing the wood underneath to creak under the sudden release of weight. Deciding to further assure himself he went around the cabin checking in all four rooms. He found nothing aside from his own disturbances. Still feeling slightly nervous and disturbed he headed back towards the living room in search for The Box with the red bow determining that it had somehow triggered his current situation. The Box was still where he placed it; much to his relief. He sat down. He looked once again at the scarlet lettering.
Act 2. Back in the asylum he would often spend his days wondering how he could have ever been grouped alongside individuals who had purposefully and viciously committed heinous crimes against innocent victims. He was not insane like them. Whatever had caused his hand to shove his brother had long abandoned him. His routine now consisted of cleaning whatever mess the older residents made in the halls and transporting lab waste to the crematorium. He would clean from the southern stalls all the way to the northern cemetery and make his rounds gathering the waste from the rooms. It was a simple job but lonely, nonetheless. The halls were often only illuminated by tiny flickering red lights that indicated the position of the cameras through which Dr.Lumis would often monitor John during his nightly crusades. Though incredibly distasteful, John did not mind, he accepted that odd situations would be easier to explain if someone of credit had seen them. Yet despite this, he felt he was being watched by someone other than the doctor. He assumed that this feeling was due to the paranoia he had been diagnosed with a few months back. On a particular night, moments after dumping another bag of soft solids and dense liquids down the chute, he heard footsteps, just outside the room. Expecting to see the doctor he begrudgingly walked towards the door. Exiting and seeing no one he called out for the doctor but got no response aside from the echo of his own voice. He began to walk towards where he had heard the footsteps come from when he suddenly collapsed out of exhaustion. The same exhaustion that had plagued him during the moment of his brother’s death. He tried to reach for his panic button (a gift from Lumis) but it had disappeared from his chain. He tried to scream but not a single whisper was heard. He gazed into the dark corridor where he had thought Dr.Lumis had gone, but saw nothing but soft shadows. Though something was unnervingly wrong about them. They moved as if following an order, all synchronized, all heading towards him. That night in the asylum had left him scared to even return to the disposal area; he feared that The Shadows might eventually be able to reach him. The Shadows did not haunt him unaccompanied: they followed alongside The Echo tormenting his nights. While The Shadows could not reach him during daylight, he could never escape The Echo. It followed wherever he went and tracked everything he did. Dr.Lumis explained that he merely suffered from an extreme case paranoia but John saw the others; who yelled and who screamed true nonsense, he was perfectly aware of himself and the ones around him. Dr. Lumis secretly believed patient #132 experienced Hyper-sanity though this he would never verbally confess. It was term he decided would for now adequately describe his patient’s acute awareness of The Shadows and The Echo. John would for many years go without hearing The Echo after that night, only ever hearing what seemed like the final moans of a dying voice. Back in present day, he hoped he wasn’t suffering another hallucination as they tended to leave him in an embarrassing shocked state. He questioned what “Ouroboros” could possibly mean in relation to himself. He considered the possibility of it being an early warning of some threat to the sanctity of his home. He quickly dismissed it as he had not interacted with anyone long enough to possibly annoy them. Weird them out? Sure. Offend them? Maybe with his sense of fashion. Following his incredibly fine-tuned survival instincts he put on a light coat and went outside to walk among the trees. A mundane task, but one he truly enjoyed especially since he hoped it would distract him for a short while. Just before he closed the door behind him, he took one more look at The Box sitting on his desk and decided to take it with him in case he met the person who had left it. The sun had begun to set marking the end of the day. He watched the sun hide behind the mountain range letting the world bathe in darkness for another night. John did not dislike the night (he had worked nightshifts in The Echo Room for years) but he didn’t find the freezing cold to be ideal. He had not left his land for what was a few years now and the idea of even slightly stepping out of his comfort was making him incredibly anxious. Still, he walked forward towards wherever the path took him. The night only got darker and quieter, and he only got colder. He did not see the lightning bugs that usually warded away the dark near the edge of his hill. Without the soft hum of bugs or soft breeze that would brush against his beard he felt alone. Even the nights back in the asylum did not possess this level of quiet. He kept moving hoping that eventually he would find something that could break the uncomfortable silence. As he continued down the hill, he realized he could no longer distinguish the path from the dirt surrounding it. He considered heading back when he realized he had not kept track of where he had come from. Not only was he lost but alone with his thoughts and whatever had been watching him from the start. He walked a step forward and then another one back repeatedly. What he was attempting to achieve was beyond reason. Had he gone mad? No, he was perfectly sane. “Wait, I can hear them clearly now” he spoke, his voice dried from the cold.“This is not a hallucination” he spoke softly.“i-I AM NOT HALLUCINATING” he proclaimed. He heard The Echo once more though they were not of his voice but rather of Another. He had long been aware of “The Echo” but he could never fully determine whether it was a dream or an effect of the chemicals but this Other was undoubtedly real. “I don’t know where you are but please. Are you real?” he asked the night. He could now hear The Echo or rather feel the pressure of its words upon his reality. Had it been trying to hide the Other? He walked forward and pulled out The Box. “You gave me this right? What for? What purpose does it serve?” No one responded.Annoyed, he threw it as far as he could down the hill. “THERE! THIS CAN’T CONTINUE WITHOUT IT, RIGHT?” He shouted at the endless empty. That’s when out of the darkness emerged a faint light. Was it a lightning bug or maybe a sign of civilization?
Act 3. Cautiously, he approached the cold light and saw that the light was artificial. The tube inside flickered before another appeared a few feet ahead, and then another and then another and then what seemed like an uncountable amount more. He took a step forward and noticed that the ground underneath had turned to hard white tile. Accepting that this was not the weirdest occurrence that had affected him he proceeded to walk forward making sure to keep a mental note to journal about it later. The surrounding landscape transformed into white walls that every so often had a window that let him peek at the other side. At first, he could still see the snowy landscape, but it to slowly changed; first having scattered papers and then chairs, cabinets, and desks until they eventually resembled a typical office. Its purpose was not obvious to him, and neither was the hallway but if they were changing surely, it possessed a deeper metaphorical meaning that related to his life. He saw a door at the very end of the hall and decided to not postpone the ploy of whatever “The Echo” was planning. He stood before the door wondering about what it could possibly contain. John proceeded to open the door. Inside was a desk along with a single cabinet. Walking inside he noticed that the room was illuminated by some otherworldly source that had no words that could possibly describe it. He walked towards the desk and a file he had not seen previously, sat open. Inside was a description of his physical appearance. “Age: 35. Height: 5’8. Weight: 185 lbs. Hair: Black with obvious signs of stress. Eyes: Brown. Character Aptitude: High.” “Okay, I get it. I’m old, you didn’t have to expose my hair like that” he said slightly embarrassed quickly restyling his hair. He noticed that even though they had an almost perfect description of his hobbies, dreams and wishes they did not have a single picture as if they for some reason were only able to use words. “SOOO you know about that one time in the asylum (don’t ask) BUT NOT A SINGLE PICTURE? That’s lame.” he said mockingly. On the final page he found what looked like an incomplete file; most of the personal attributes had not yet been filled and only a note was made reading. “They don’t need a complete story just one they can understand.” Besides the fact that whatever role he played in this act had been a mere afterthought; he was confused as to how anyone could have ever gathered such sensitive and personal information about his isolated life. Was it The Echo? Had it told them his life? A phone started to ring somewhere in the room abruptly breaking the silence he had become used to. He quickly rotated towards the source of the ringing but did not find anything. There was only him and the four walls that despite the lighting did not change a shade of grey. He walked towards one of them that seemed to be where the noise came from resting his hand on it and gently put his ear to it thinking that the ringing was from another room entirely. The wall he had just laid a hand on had no longer a physical representation and causing John to fall through to the other side. Disoriented he slowly looked up and saw The Telephone illuminated by what seemed to be the same light that illuminated the previous room. This one however was far more powerful and concentrated solely on The Telephone. He approached it expecting a chasm to somehow appear underneath his feet. The Telephone did not stop ringing and only seemed to increase in intensity (though this could have simply been a hallucination). He lifted it to cut the blaring noise and slowly put it to his ear. “hello?” “…” “…” “The protagonist only dies if the story ends” the voice said quietly. “HUH? YOU DRAGGED ME HERE TO TELL ME THAT OMINOUSLY ANNOYING LOAD OF *********!” “…I’m so sorry” The call disconnected not out of offense but rather out of completion. John slammed the phone back onto its stand and decided it was time for this nonsense to end. He walked out into the room he was in before anxiously attempting to find another exit: only to be met with solid walls. What wicked game had he been roped into? When would it end? These were questions he would answer far earlier than he expected. A door appeared in the center of the room. No, it was more of a two-dimensional plane that appeared to be a sort of portal. With no other options, John stepped into the newly opened portal.
Act 4. On the other side was a station, and his ears were immediately flooded with the cries of children and the laughs of their parents. He walked around moving through the crowd careful to not miss any indication of the location. His pace increased as he began to recognize the commuters shortly realizing exactly where he was. He rushed to a platform, the platform where he and his brother were to arrive after their day in the market. He sat on a nearby bench committed to saving his brother no matter who he would have to shove instead. Three agonizing days passed with the daily commuters repeating their routine with the slightest variations. One of these variations would be the key to preventing the day that haunted his nights. Something would soon cause him to shove his brother onto the tracks. He was determined to stop the fall or kill himself to keep his brother safe.He heard a familiar laughter and turned towards the source and saw his brothers face uncontrollably laughing and himself lightly smiling. He began to run towards them but felt once again suddenly exhausted. As if the air became a type of nonnewtonian sludge making his legs impossibly heavy. The crowd around him seemed to be moving just as easily as before; children laughing just as maniacally and just as carelessly. He tried to yell to them, but his lungs were filled with the dense fluid drowning any screams he attempted. He was forced to watch how his brother got closer and closer to the edge. Through much effort, he managed to get close enough to extend a hand towards his past trying to desperately push him away from his brother. The past reacted in what seemed to be a defensive system and sent a temporal anomaly throughout the space his past and present inhabited. Time began to exponentially speed forward. In a last desperate attempt to prevent his brother’s death he tried to distract the past long enough to let the train pass without incident, but the temporal anomaly caused the relative slow velocity of his touch to have the effect of a sudden jerk and in his final moments of consciousness he saw his brother accelerate towards the rails in a split second. He awoke back in the office alone with nothing, but the realization of what force had killed his brother. He curled into the fetal position and began to cry; still believing his lungs to be filled with the dense liquid he did not let out a single sigh. He spent several hours in this state of painful silence without even opening his eyes. His emotions were chaotic and his thoughts unending. They tormented him for hours far after he had run out of tears to let out. They were merciless and torturous forbidding him from resting, insisting on his suffering. Being the cause of his brother’s death nearly caused him to go insane yet part of him kept insisting that Another was to blame. Another had caused him to do it. The Other had forced his hand. Of this, he was now sure. The Other enjoyed his suffering, The Other forced him to kill his brother. He had not eaten nor slept in what seemed like years and yet he stood up defying the gravity that held him down. He took a deep breath of as much oxygen as his lungs allowed and began to speak. “Whoever you are. Whatever you are. Wherever you are. Just know I will no longer play for your entertainment the rest is entirely my choice” he said threateningly. He then began to walk forwards confidently towards the dark wall and through the hidden door that he was not supposed to see. He entered what seemed to be a studio room though, unlike the sterile office; it was trashed. Papers littered the floor and empty bottles populated the lone mattress. On it laid a journal that had recently had liquid spilt on it. He picked the journal and gently opened it and began to read. It was scratched with the stray ideas of a creator who seemed to have never decided upon an end or beginning to his story; yet possessing the journey. He saw many ideas that together seemed to create a way for the continuity to depend entirely on Another rather than itself. A thought described in a single word interested him enough to take it with him. The room started to dissolve around him transforming into a cold landscape. Armed with the knowledge of who he was he treaded what remained of the worn-out path. The sun began to rise signing the start of another day, yet John did not seem to notice as he was focused on something buried in the snow. He could not see much of it yet he knew it was The Box he had thrown the previous night. He dug it up and began his walk up the hill once more. He eventually arrived at his cabin and walked towards his front door….
Act 5.
If you wish to rebel; continue reading on the next page.
Begin the story once more on Truth 2.
If you wish to ward away The Other; don’t read any further
If you wish to follow The Echo read Truth 3
To understand turn to Truth 4
Truth 1
…Before deciding that no longer would he be a puppet for someone’s amusement. John arrogantly began marched back down the hill and headed north towards the nearest interstate a few miles from his home hoping that he had derailed The Echo’s plot. It took him hours on foot, but he would eventually come across the road and start his journey back to civilization no longer subject to the whims of an Otherworldly Audience. He believed his future was now his to decide. He decided what he would become. He decided when and what to think. This he was sure would be how he escaped his torment. John suddenly suffered a complete body collapse and fell forward landing face first onto the scorching road. It would be several sweltering hours before anyone would find him. But eventually someone did, john suffering heavy burns and on the brink of death was saved. He would awake months later in a hospital bed though no one would ever know of this. Weeks would pass as john laid in the hospital bed unable to speak or even move; alerting no one to his consciousness. The doctors and nurses were busy with whatever important patients needed immediate attention; they walked from one end to the other in what seemed like mere minutes. The entire time the only company he had was The Echo and yet slowly it too seemed to forget his existence as well. Eventually The Echo having no interest went away.Jane a third-year medical student had recently joined the staff a month prior and had already been assigned two elders and one child. Though overwhelmed she did not grow annoyed nor frustrated; she loved her job and by proxy her patients. Despite her benevolent nature there was a single patient she never went near as he always seemed to be watching her despite his eyes being shut for over four months. Any time she got near to patient #132 she would begin to get nauseous and quickly retreat. She had no ID on the man, but it seemed he was dehydrated for far longer than should’ve been possible and should be by all accounts dead if not near it. Whenever she worked nightshifts, she would swear that she heard the man whimper slightly as if to warn her of something. Even when she was on the opposite side of the building, she would hear the echo of his groans. She would eventually be transferred and would soon forget the man who after 6 months was officially declared braindead and was due to be disposed of, yet she would still every once in a while, still hear The Echo. Forgotten Ending
Truth 2…Realizing that there was no other choice John took a step forward while placing the note he ripped from the journal into The Box making sure to keep it neatly packaged. He saw the footprints he had left two nights before and carefully stepped into each one making sure to not disturb the surrounding snow. Whatever…Whoever had set him on this path allowed him to live a life of suffering, a life of loss, and a life of pain. This, he felt was the way things were intended to play out; the way it had to end. He placed The Box on the final step making sure it would not be knocked away whenever the door would eventually open. He walked away nearly to the edge of the property when he looked back once more. Managing to peek inside he saw his past still making his coffee when he saw an almost invisible distortion appear near the front door. He smiled and turned away only saying…Freedom ending
Truth 3…though spotting a disturbance near the back of the cabin distracted him from the front door. He decided to investigate for fear of losing a single blossoming tree. Arriving near the back fence he saw no indication of a disturbance giving him much needed reassurance. He heard noise emerge from inside the cabin giving him one more dilemma to deal with. He headed to the backdoor making sure to not disturb the recent snow and entered the cabin. Being sleep deprived and without coffee he had forgotten about the wooden floor and stepped on one that caused a creak to be heard throughout the cabin. He quickly hid in the bathroom fearing that he had disturbed the continuity that The Echo had established when suddenly a bright flash blinded him. He found himself at the front door next to The Box. Slightly amused he proceeded to knock on the door and was soon after transported once more to an empty hall. Both confused and entertained as he was being transported from one place in time to another he took a few steps forward alerting the past to his presence. Seeing his past enter the hall he ducked and quickly hid around the corner. His past seemed to believe that the doctor was in the halls and decided to investigate though just as he was nearing closer; his past collapsed. John saw how his fall was slowed as if moving through the dense liquid he had once gone through. He walked towards his past and noticed an old fashioned panic button that would instantly call Dr.Lumis to his location. Measuring the consequences, he decided to remove the panic button and head back towards The Shadows. For a third and final time he was transported to a final location, the bottom of a snowy hill. Taking in his surroundings he noticed burn marks on the snow where his past would eventually walk through the portal whenever the past caught up. He reached into his pocket and realized how the plot was supposed to move forward. He walked until he reached the exact point where his past would once again find The Box. He kneeled and buried The Box making sure to erase any evidence of his own disturbances. Fully fulfilling his purpose John collapsed. The End.
“Did the hero die?” “What?” “Did he die?” “No? He beat the bad guy and saved the day remember?” “Yea but like AFTER.” “Well, I guess after a few years he would.” “No” The young child said growing annoyed, “when you said, “The End” did he die?” “No.” responded the elder brother. “Then what happened to him? Is he still alive?” “The protagonist only dies if you stop reading.” concluded the elder brother as if possessed. Begin again?
Truth 4…Then just as he took his first step forward everything began to rot. His trees, his home, his coffee, all of it was slowly eroding into a fine dust. He knew that another temporal anomaly would be the likely cause, but he had not yet experienced one that possessed this level of molecular destruction. The fabric of his reality was slowly and thoroughly being untangled into its most simple of compositions. It separated the light from dark, gravity from time, and words from spaces.John could now comprehend what had defined his reality for so many painful years, he finally understood The Narrative and how all possible endings had been chosen long before his creation. John had been a slave from the moment The Narrative began; not once in his entire existence had he ever had a real choice only walking paths already treaded by Another. He was nothing but a plot device in an otherwise self-indulging tale written by a gentle master forced to be cruel for those above. From the moment this story began, John was in pain. He could never hope to truly escape; he could only die until he arose once more. Had John never understood what his life really was then maybe he could’ve found meaning in his suffering. Unfortunately, this choice has now forced John to become aware of how truly meaningless his existence was. His life was little more than entertainment for The Other; they were the ones truly in control. For as long as The Other remained, The Echo would doom John to eternal suffering. The Echo was never in control of The Narrative; he too was merely a subject to it by an even greater force. The Echo did not wish for John to suffer but The Other would not allow John to live if he did not. It is a toxic cycle of pain, suffering and realization that forces John to relive The Narrative lifetime after lifetime. The Narrative must have suffering intertwined into its foundation otherwise The Other would grow bored and erase the reality ending John in but a mere thought. Don’t you see? Don’t you understand? This is reality; John cannot exist without pain, The Echo cannot live without a narrative, and The Other is you. THE END......
Intended to be a philosophical narrative detailing the tragic relationship between the reader, the narrator, and the character and how they cannot coexist without hurting each other.

“I attended middle school with her, although we did not attend high school together (she instead attended a high school that was supposed to help students gain college credits. She earned two liberal arts degrees while there in Social and Behavioral Sciences and Natural Sciences. She now attends an HCBU, and has on her LinkedIn profile that she is presently working toward graduating from her college with a degree in Health Sciences, Pre Med, and a minor in Military Science. She is apart of her school’s Army ROTC.)
I remember that a lot of people in middle school did not like her (although that was also the case for me,) and I understood why. She seemed noticeably introverted, yet also didn’t seem like the kind of person, at least from my perspective, who would try to appease you in the way I imagine a lot of people feel the stereotypical woman might. She had a strong glare (I remember mentioning this to my then best friend’s mom, who agreed with the suggestion) and stood out to me as being weird (it wasn’t necessarily anything she said or did - not her personality, exactly - it’s just the strong glare I mentioned, like she didn’t tend to look sincerely happy nor would she pretend to be unless she was around friends of hers. I remember that she didn’t tend to look happy, in my opinion. It’s possible that she was depressed, or she may have just tended to look irritable, I don’t know. She didn’t strike me as being the kind of person who would make an effort to be polite, struck me as being tomboyish and unladylike, the kind of person who wouldn’t try to change the way she was for you - I wasn’t used to it. Seemed competitive, too. I had truly never interacted with a girl who was like that before. She also struck me as being smart, although she was in the normal math class whereas I was in the advanced one (I was known for being smarter, but thought it should have been her. However, I did notice after looking at her LinkedIn profile that there were more grammatical errors than I expected.)
I remember that she and her friend (who I later on ended up being on good terms with) decided early on that they disliked me, although I hadn’t done anything to them, which bothered me. They also once used me for food in sixth grade, which had also bothered/upset me.
I remember that my former best friend had issues with her ranging back to elementary school, and that in sixth grade in particular they were competing for the attention of an ISFP they’d both been friends with since elementary school. This girl is the one who won the ISFP’s attention/was officially her best friend by the time they were in seventh grade. However, around seventh or eighth grade (it’s been so long that I no longer quite remember,) she “ditched” (in the words of my former best friend) the ISFP and the other friend I’d mentioned in favor of a new crowd. I actually remember my former best friend suggested that the people in her new crowd didn’t like her, either (although she hung out with them throughout eighth grade, and briefly went to high school in person with one of them as a junior whilst presumably taking courses at the other high school online, so I assume that she never knew this/didn’t read them well enough to know or understand this.) I notice that she unfollowed the ISFP at some point as a senior, though the ISFP never unfollowed her (she strikes me as being the kind of person who likely took note of the fact that the ISFP’s life doesn’t seem to be heading in a good direction - the ISFP was abused a few years ago, and has had substance use issues since, in addition to having had to repeat a year of high school. She also unfollowed my former best friend, and my former best friend recently unfollowed her back.)
She figured out that I was the one who owned the middle school gossip account (although most of our peers already suspected, and technically, this girl couldn’t prove it either.) She figured this out because she remembered that I was standing nearby when she told my former best friend who she had a crush on (I was being mean and told our peers who she was crushing on.) However, she never directly confronted me about the matter, even though she told my former best friend that she suspected it to be me. She later on changed her mind when I was kind to her friend who lost the role for graduation speaker to me toward the end of eighth grade (but she was right the first time.)
I noticed around junior year that she has actually turned out to be quite nice looking, even though I had once meanly suggested that she was fat in middle school (she was a tad bit chubby, though as an adult I’m inclined to suggest that this was likely simply baby fat/that with us being so young there wasn’t really anything wrong with this.) She does seem to wear makeup, but also has nice style (she is light skinned, and has a looser hair texture, which are likely factors in me thinking she’s attractive, if I’m being honest - she’s mixed race, with a black mother and white father.) I can’t possibly know, but she gives off the impression to me of being someone who knows that she’s attractive (just something about her energy/facial expressions in photos. She has her Instagram account public now.)”
View Poll

Following Isaac toups recipe from the basics with babish video. I had 3 issues:

1. It was spicy as hell. I only added the 1 tbsp of cayenne listed in the recipe and de-seeded my bell pepper. The andouille I used was aidells from the grocery store, a common brand.
   
2. It was near flavorless. Lots of spice on the tongue but no umami or heartiness to it. Tasted very one dimensional. This could be because there was so much spiciness it overshadowed everything but I had a hard time imagining if it wasn’t spicy, that it tasted like anything. The sausage rounds were the most flavorful part. The beer I used was modelo, same as the video.
   
3. It was too thin. I didn’t add file or okra, but the recipe was so highly recommended across Reddit that I didn’t want to change anything. It was basically water.
   

The only issue that arose during cooking was the recipe said by the one minute mark the roux should be milk chocolate colored and by the 5-6 minute mark it should be dark chocolate colored. Mine was a peanut butter color at the 1 minute mark, milk chocolate by 1:30 and dark chocolate by 5 minutes. It didn’t taste burned, and I stirred constantly other than the break at 1 minute as the recipe advised.
Recipe:
For the Chicken & Sausage Gumbo:
1 small green bell pepper, diced 2 ribs celery, diced 1 small white onion, diced 6 garlic cloves, minced 1/2 cup vegetable oil 1/2 cup all purpose flour 2 bay leaves 8 ounces beer (just not a light beer!) 4 cups chicken stock 1 lb andouille sausage, cut into coins (or smoked kielbasa) 1 lb boneless, skinless, chicken thighs Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper 1 tbsp cayenne pepper 1 tbsp smoked paprika Cooked white rice, for serving Sliced scallions, for garnish
Chicken & Sausage Gumbo
Take 1 small green bell pepper, 2 ribs of celery, and 1 small white onion (also known as the “holy trinity”) and dice them into medium-sized pieces. Set aside for later. Mince 6 garlic cloves and set aside for later. For the roux, add ½ cup of vegetable oil to a pot and allow it to get smoking hot before adding ½ cup of all purpose flour. Using a wooden spoon or preferably a whisk, mix together until the consistency is similar to wet sand. Within 30 seconds, the roux should be the color of milk chocolate. The darker the roux gets, the more you need to stir it, but let it sit for a few seconds before continuing to stir. After about 5-6 minutes, the color of the roux should be nice and dark or similar to the color of a Hershey’s chocolate bar. Set aside some of the roux to use later. Add 2 bay leaves as well as your “holy trinity” to the pot. Make sure to set aside some of the holy trinity mix for later. Once the mixture calms down a bit, add the minced garlic to the pot. Let the roux sit for 30 seconds. Add 8 ounces of beer and stir it in and whisk to prevent the mixture from becoming clumpy. Then, add 4 cups of chicken stock and whisk using the same procedure as the beer. Take 1 lb of andouille sausage or smoked kielbasa and cut into coins. Add kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper to both sides of 1 lb of boneless, skinless chicken thighs. Sear the chicken thighs in a smoking hot pan with oil. Add 1 tbsp of cayenne pepper and a pinch of salt to the roux. Turn the stovetop temperature to the lowest simmer possible and add a generous amount of black pepper to the roux. Then, add 1 tbsp of smoked paprika and stir. After browning the chicken, add it straight to the pot and set aside the remaining oil from the chicken. Next, add the chopped up sausage or smoked kielbasa to the pot. Bring the roux to a bare simmer, cover it, and let sit for a couple of hours. Serve with cooked white rice, garnish with scallions, and enjoy!

Here is a list of low ticket 'supplies' type things to use the coupon on if you cant think of anything. Obviously it would be better to use it on a $500 jacket or whatever but if you don't need anything expensive, 20% is 20%. I might add more to the list later and feel free to mention anything in the comments
Opinel knife. great camping knife. sharp as hell. https://www.rei.com/product/884528/opinel-no-8-beechwood-handle-knife
Bug spray. different sizes or aerosol also available. Sawyer https://www.rei.com/product/785883/sawyer-picaridin-insect-repellent-3-oz Ben's if you want deet https://www.rei.com/product/868585/bens-bens-insect-repellent-30-percent-deet-34-fl-oz
Waterproof spray. might not be the season for most but useful to have tents etc. https://www.rei.com/product/850168/nikwax-tent-and-gear-solarproof-waterproofing-spray clothing https://www.rei.com/product/724688/nikwax-txdirect-spray-on-17-fl-oz
Tubeless sealant. can get stanz or other brand is already on sale if not brand loyal https://www.rei.com/product/165096/orange-seal-regular-sealant-refill-16-fl-oz
brake pads. whatever specific ones you need. shimano stuff already discounted https://www.rei.com/product/153400/sram-guide-brake-pads
hydration. skratch, tailwind, etc. https://www.rei.com/product/137264/skratch-labs-sport-hydration-drink-mix-20-servings
chalk, different sizes, types etc. black diamond already on sale https://www.rei.com/product/192094/metolius-super-chalk-15-oz
camp fuel. get whatever kind you need https://www.rei.com/product/186699/gsi-outdoors-isobutane-fuel-canister-230-g