For rent house cliffside park nj

So I’ve recently graduated cosmetology school and a little over a month ago I began working at a high end salon as a assistant and now moving to working one on one with a senior stylist. My dilemma is that I came into this industry to specialize in natural/curly hair and although my salon offers a ton of education and classes, none of it aligns with my goals in this industry. Some stylists do work with curls but I don’t feel like I’d be learning anything from them. On the contrary, I’d be teaching them and I still have a TON to learn in what I want to specialize in. Although I know the more you know the better in this industry, and I am learning a lot and also am interested in being a well versed stylist, but I can’t fight the feeling that I’m straying from why I even started all of this and this is starting to make me feel less than excited to go to work. There aren’t many curly specialists in my area so this is making it tough for me to find a mentor or someone that I feel like I could really learn from. I’d say I definitely have to be more of a go getter and fly solo to get myself positioned in the industry but this is where I’m struggling on what to do. Also, the salon I work at doesn’t booth rent and it’s the typical stylist level 1 40/60 commission and go up from there by experience but I don’t think it would be right that I’m paying out of pocket for these pricey curly classes/certifications to then go to a salon and only make 40% especially when I’d be the only stylist there that could offer true curly cuts and styles. Maybe it’s something I can negotiate down the line but who knows. So my question is should I stay at the salon or would it make more sense to go all in solo? I know this is not recommended but I was thinking of just doing hair out of my house for now until I build my clientele up enough to booth rent because I really don’t see any other way to take off in this specialty while working for a salon and I already feel like I’ve wasted enough time dragging my feet in my area of focus. I regret not making better use of my time while in school but that’s not here nor there.
For background, the reason I can’t do both is because I am a single mom juggling 2 jobs so my time is very limited and I don’t want to take the little free time I have away from my kids so I’d have to sacrifice something and it can’t be my bread winning job because well, that’s how I support myself and my family. I’m only part time at the salon and make pennies so financially it wouldn’t be a hit to me. Sorry for making this long and thank you in advance for any knowledge or insight offered!!

I (26F) when I was 4 years old my parents legally divorced and for my whole life I lived with shared custody. Until I was 16 years old my mom was my biggest enemy because she abused me verbally and physically while my dad was my best friend, going to his house was what I expected all week long because I went on weekends, we played board games, we went to the movies or to different places, he did let me have a pet, everything was a dream until I turned 16 years old. Something curious about this time is that my dad used to talk to me about how my mom cheated on him and she told me not to believe him, but since he was the enemy I didn't listen to him.
12 years ago my mom started attending a Christian church along with my whole family and I, curious, started attending with her... that's when everything took a turn. You see, my father is an extremist Catholic and from then on he started to attack me in every way possible: against my new belief, he discovered that I had Facebook and forced me to give him my password to h*rass me and read absolutely everything; he told me that if I took the entrance exam for the university I wanted, he would find out because he hired a friend to stand near the door and take photos of me if he saw me arriving, which made me scared; when I decided that I was going to be a teacher my dad exploded in fury, although I was already a legal adult he told me that I had no right to choose my career and only my mother and he could do it, he tried to force my mother to pay me to study medicine but he didn't succeed and now I am studying education; Oh and it is worth mentioning that he generated in me an irrational phobia of buses because he told me that if I got on a bus, my parents would never see me or my body again.
My father over time has tried to manipulate me more and more and I increasingly move away, he pressures me every year to marry someone rich, to get pregnant even by accident because he doesn't want to “die without knowing his grandchildren” (my father is macho), that I stay in his house when he no longer lives alone and lives with a family that I don't like, he wants me to call his partner's children "my siblings" and treat them the same as my biological siblings, that I become Catholic again so I don't go to hell, that I convince my sister to stop therapy because her bipolar "is a lie", that I don't relate to minorities or people of other races (my father is r*cist since we are not white), that I don't relate to anyone in the LGBT community (my father is “proudly homophobic”).
My father lives by appearances, he lives in an expensive house but my grandparents pay his rent, he wears pilot suits when he used to repair airplanes and he doesn't know how to fly a plane, he tells everyone that I studied “educational administration and future founder of a school” because he is ashamed that I am a teacher, he bought very big cars when he didn't even have enough to pay for gas and finally he presumes he is a good father... when he has caused me such strong psychological abuse that I'm afraid to do things because he might find out.
4 years ago I started to progressively cut communication with him to the point that I don't talk to him and I don't go to his house anymore, only once a month and it hurts me because in this dispute my paternal grandparents and my younger sister got caught in the crossfire, but my dad is so harassing that if I call them or her just to say hello, he will find out and come here to complain because I talk to them and not to him. Sometimes I think my life will be easier and I will rest the day he dies, AITAH for wanting or thinking that?

We own our house and the neighbor across the street had been living in their rental for about 10 years. She had around 10+ cats that primarily lived outdoors; 1 or 2, she kept inside. None of them were fixed, so they’d have kittens over and over. All of the other neighbors would offer to pay to have her cats fixed so that they’d quit populating and she’d turn down the offer. One of them had a missing eye; none of them ever had vet care and they all looked pretty sickly. I do want to say I felt bad for the cats; I don’t really like cats, but I still felt for them. One neighbor took the cat who was missing an eye to the vet for surgery. Cat lady got upset about it because he didn’t tell her he was doing it. Animal control wouldn’t do anything about the issue except offer me cat traps that I’d have to pay $20 per day for. Who can afford that? Fast forward, cat lady’s landlord told her she had 60 days to move out because they’re selling the house. She began packing and moving her stuff. She threw out a mattress and sofa next to the road. 4 days after those items had been sitting by the road, my yard became INFESTED with fleas. You can’t even walk to the car without seeing them all over your legs. I asked my other neighbor if he’s having an issue with fleas in his yard too and he said he is. I had thought cat lady took her cats with her; as I hadn’t seen the cats since she left last weekend. Well, today, I see all of her cats sleeping on the stairs of the house she moved out of. This pisses me off so bad; that she’d leave all of these cats here with no one to feed them. I highly doubt animal control will take them. I don’t really know what to do about any of this. I’m having pest control come and spray my yard for fleas. I may ask neighbors if we can band together and rent the cat traps to surrender the cats to animal control, since that’s the only way they’ll take them. I can’t afford $150+ worth of cat traps on my own, but maybe some of the neighbors will take on this task with me.

My BF (30M) and I (27F) are on vacation right now for a wedding. We’ve been together for 3 years. We’ve been getting along great, no issues popped up until last night.
We were at the wedding and somehow got on the conversation of how much money we make. I then asked him how much rent I would need to pay to him. He bought a house recently (5 months ago) and he still has yet to tell me what the mortgage payment is. He then told me he doesn’t really know but he’s been paying “x” amount. We haven’t moved in together to the new house yet.
I got a little peeved and told him I wished he would’ve communicated this months ago since it seems like he does have a dollar amount. He then made some comments on how he knows I won’t pay half and it started getting a little more heated… Finally we agreed to drop it for the time being and apologized for bringing it up right then and there.
When we got back to the hotel room we started talking about it again. My bf then made a comment saying how I was selfish and I made the evening all about me. We didn’t get anyone else involved in our discussion and no one even knew what we had talked about. It was maybe a 4 minute talk at the wedding. He started making me feel really bad, said I ruined his night, etc. I got angry and admittedly I told him “F U”. I was drunk and I realize I shouldn’t have said that. He got super angry and grabbed me by the arm and yelled at me to stop.
I was crying and he told me that maybe we shouldn’t be together and he can’t be with someone who fights like this and he doesn’t know if it’s going to last. We have fought like this before, but it’s been a long time and we’ve really grown and gotten better.
I’m upset that it escalated so quickly and now I’m feeling down. The whole night I was telling everyone how proud I am of us for how far we’ve come and how I can see myself marrying him. Now I feel like I’ve ruined everything.
Reddit, how do I move forward from this?
Tl;dr BF and I got into a big fight on vacation while drunk.

Hi. I’m a high school senior and recently got accepted to a few colleges, mainly UCs. For some background, I come from a really low income family, and I would be a first generation student.
I applied to some colleges just to see what would happen, and I got accepted to a few UCs, including a school I really want to go to.
I got a really good financial aid offer (my SAI index came out to be -1500, so basically the max amount of grants), but even with all the grants I’m still wondering if it would be worth it to go?
My other option, which was my “first choice” was Community College and then transfer to any UC.
For UC, I kinda calculated the costs based on the cheapest options, and without work study or any loans the total net price would be around 4-5k (everything else is covered in grants). This is just a rough estimate (the price that is listed on the portal is around 12k, but the housing and food estimates seemed much higher than if i were to choose the cheapest options offered etc)
Community College would, in my opinion, be a lot harder to manage. I’d be working for sure, and paying some other living expenses that come with it. Not sure if CC students get much aid to help with that. I would also probably be paying rent to help out my parents. But I would also have more money since I’d be working more, and I’d be saving up for eventually transferring.
I’m just very torn what direction to go in. Both are great choices with their own challenges but I’m just not sure that the cost of going straight to college rather than CC is worth it.

Wife is Chinese and pregnant with twins. We are currently living in a small 1 bedroom place in NY Queens for rent. She's pregnant so we need to save up money for a bigger room preferably a 3 bedroom house. Buying a home seems out of reach and unsustainable due to high interests rates so we are waiting for interests rates to plummet before making a move.
We talked and agreed that she will go give birth to the babies in China (Kaifeng) while I stay here in New York to make and save money for our dream house and other necessities. I believe this is the best option because her mom can help take care of our babies in China and it is cheaper and will save us money. Babies will stay in China for about 2-3 years. Unfortunately I won't be able to see them too often in person in those times.
While the babies are in China being taken care of by wife's mom, my wife will come back here in New York to help us make some money for our dream home.
Is it a bad idea to have the mixed blood children born in China rather than America? They will only stay there for 2-3 years so it won't be permanent
Is there anything I have to worry about in regards to their citizenship and passport? What would their citizenship and passport say?
Can I still write the children off on my taxes even if they are born in China?
Am I bad parent for doing this?

Me (29) and my partner (32) are buying a new home, it is being built.
My partner and I currently live at his parents house basically rent free, and have been saving money so we can afford a California home (we finally have enough money).
His mother has given us a gift of $10,000 to help us cover closing costs.
Last month my partner’s rs mother asked my partner if she can stay at our new home 3 times a week, because it is close to her job (about an 8 minute drive). Her home is about a 30 minute drive to her job.
his mother is married, her husband and daughter also live at her home.
Background info: I really pushed my partner to make this move to buy a home because we are both professionals, we can afford it and I was tired of living at his parent’s house. I love my own space, and we are crammed at his parent’s house.
His mother is currently very ill but she still works full time.
Today I brought up the concern of his mother living with us, not because I don’t like her but because I just like our own space.
I don’t like living with his parents… even if it were my parents I would have the same issue. I prefer to live with my partner alone.
After bringing up this concern, My partner said I was selfish and that she let us live at her home practically rent free and that she is on the verge of dying. This made me feel bad so I stopped pressing the issue.
I am just annoyed because she literally has her own home with her own family and never complained about commuting before. She has been commuting to and from work for over 10 years and now wants to live with us 3 times a week.
Mind you she never even asked me! AITA?? Be honest with me?

When you rent, you don’t gain any of that money back - there’s no equity being built.
When you own, sure there’s costs that you have to incur like maintenance , utilities , property tax , HOA(for condo/townhome) principal , interest , insurance etc but you’re still building equity off the principal payments meaning - you don’t walk empty handed if you sell your house (unless you sell at loss)
Thanks!!

Hey! This is my first time in Portland.. I'm visiting for 5 days for work in August. I'd like to stay closer to the Beaverton area (closer to the office I'd be visiting during my trip) but I'm open. I'll be paying for my stay and renting a car. Chains like Hyatt/Hilton are alright too. I never had any trouble finding free breakfast and free parking in suburbs outside Portland.
I'm surprised to find no options in the city or suburbs. I found some good hotels in $150/night range but the parking seems to be $50/day. My kids + partner may be visiting with me.. So I'd like to have the parking close by (if not in the facility).
Any tips? Thank you!

My (26f) boyfriend (28m) has a dog that he does the bare minimum for.
She’s a 2 year old german shepherd that he recently took over care for (his sister was getting rid of the dog). However, all he does for her is cuddle her and feed her. Thats really it.
She’s grossly overweight because she doesn’t get any exercise. They don’t have a backyard, he doesn’t take her on walks, he doesn’t take her to the park. She only has 2 toys that she throws for herself around the couch. His mom cannot take her on walks because she will pull her and the shock collar they use for her doesn’t really have much of an effect on her
He doesn’t have her on a set schedule for food. Everyday is different. Also, when his mom goes out of town, she’ll often go 12-14 hours without food while he’s off working or with his friends.
She doesn’t get brushed, bathed, cleaned, or nails trimmed regularly and often will itch and lick at her paws. Whenever she’s sick or itching at her paws, he says it’s a waste of time to go to the vet because they “overcharge people”
Part of me feels bad because I feel like I should go over to his house and help take care of her, however I only have a small sedan and she’s 115 pounds (I’m 125 pounds)
I have a 2 year old miniature dachshund that I give the world to (we go on walkies 3 times a day, play, she has weenie friends, pup cups at Starbucks, enrichment toys, brushed everyday) and it eats at me that his dog doesn’t doesn’t get the same treatment
I talked to him about this issue and he’s told me that I’m “too extra for my dog” and “don’t tell me that I should be treating my dog like a child because she’s just an animal”
How should I go about this situation? I’m really stuck

😂😂😂😂😂Shawty lo gone put in the instructions “Please come through all the way to the small townhouse in the back and hand it to me” i pull up this house looks abandoned. Didnt even peep the townhouse in back
As I park, a woman in her pjs in the house next door comes out looking around, it looks like she was looking for me. She kept looking at her phone, and then looking in the direction of the house I was supposed pull in front of.
I get out and as she sees the target bag, texts someone on her phone and walks the other way. Literally just mad slow trying to make it look like she aint looking back every few feet.
I lock my doors, head to shawty lo house and this busty thicc mamas comes out from the back to get her yerrnamean. She tried to make eye contact but, I aint finna be giving you none of that energy when I’m delivering you yeast infection meds 😂 But i knew something was off cause she was bad and I definitely looked dusty lmfao
Go back to my car, other chick is now at the end of the block, still trying to look and see whats going on, on her phone, and she just kind of looks confused and walks around the corner. I use her driveway to turn around, and its a mothafucking rooster in the driveway. Maybe she was just tryna make sure the rooster didnt get out? That would make sense. But rooster staring me down, un phased, gangsta.
I turn around and theres a meth head also in pjs and hoodie who, as soon as I looked at her, she turned around and (I 5hit you not) starts inspecting the bush behind her. Literally, face 5 inches from the bush. I said let me get tf up outta here 😂😂
Shouts out to the rooster standin on bidness 😂😂

In January of last year my friend invited me to stay with him at the home which he owns. The place only has 2 bedrooms and there are 6 people living here. I took a portion of the living room and used a series of sheets and shelves to give myself a little bit of privacy. I paid him rent every month, but it was dirt cheap. There were no deposits, lease, or anything like that. Two months ago I moved into the garage because the cats kept pissing on my stuff.
This guy was like a brother to me. But he has some mental health issues that he refuses to seek help for. A few weeks ago he accused me of not being proactively supportive of his new business (I guess he thought I was going to work for him?). He felt very insulted that I didn't want to be his minion, so in retaliation, he said he needed the garage back and is making me live in a tent outside. I still have access to the inside of the house, but I sleep in the tent. I'm very unhappy about this. In a really weird move, he sent me a text message saying that I didn't have to pay him rent anymore, but that I needed to be out within a year. Honestly, I would have rather continued to pay rent and stayed in the garage.
His mental health took a big turn a few days ago and he flew into a rage, accused me of plotting to kill his cats (I would never), and pursuing his niece that is also a tenant (even his niece told him that was not the case). He was screaming in my face telling me that he would beat my face in if I touched his cats. He wanted to fight. He threatened to force me to leave. Eventually I diffused the situation, but now I'm shook. He's unhinged and violent. He's hit previous occupants before.
What happens if I call the police? If I get a restraining order against him does that mean he needs to leave his own house? Or will I have to? I want to leave but I can't afford my own place and don't currently have money for deposits and such. But it also sucks living under the threat of violence. Any advice on what legal recourse I might have?

So, a bit of context. My parents decided to move out of state for a better job opportunity. We have a big dog that they couldn’t take with them, so we decided I would move back into my parent’s house with my husband so we could take care of the house and the dog. While its been great living rent free, we still pay the maintenance fee, utilities, and fix up anything that goes wrong in the house. Meanwhile, I haven’t been able to even move a couch without my mother making a fuss about it. I also have to keep everything the way she likes it, making it hard for it to feel like a home for my husband and I. But Im still finishing my master’s and had to quit my full time job over a year ago so I could complete my practice hours, so we made it work. This year I found out I’m pregnant, which is great because we weren’t even sure we were physically able to. So I asked my parents to switch rooms so we could have the master bedroom since were planning on having a bedside bassinet and my room is already cramped as it is. Since they only come over twice a year, I didn’t think it would be a problem, its not like they wouldn’t have a place to stay. My old room would be a baby room, but i planned to move her crib into my room when they’re in town. But my mom’s making me out to seem ungrateful and won’t give me reason for why she won’t switch besides “its my house and I said no”. She was even offended that I would want to have a conversation about it. She told me that they failed as parents if they’ve helped me so much, but I have the audacity to ask for more. But everything thats been given to me by them has been offered by them and then gets thrown in my face. I honestly can’t remember the last time I asked something of them, my dad is constantly telling me to ask him for help if I need it. So, AITA? What would you do?

My girlfriend and I of 1 year had been fighting and while she was mad at me I thought she did something that she knows I disapprove of. Drinking and driving. She left the house came back and I was on the couch and heard a bottle of wine being poured. After she left I checked the bottle and it was halfway gone. Then went to the parking garage to see if her car was still there and it was gone. Then I tracked her location on the GPS and she was at the dog park. I wanted to make sure she got home safe so I watched the dot and it was exactly as if she was driving, even stopping at intersections. It was about 8 blocks from the house. Then was the GPS showed she got back home about 2 mins shes back in the apartment. She was screaming at me for about an hour I just let her vent and she had wine all over her lips. I didnt say anything about the drinknig and driving. The next day we were back at the dog park and she said "Yesterday I walked to the dog park" I said oh you walked? Then she replied "Yea it wasn't that bad". Thats when I got quite and she could tell. I told her that I had went downstairs yesterday and her car was gone. Thats when she started to tell me that she only drove half way and walked the rest of the way. Then I told her that I saw the dot on the gps and it looked exactly like you were driving. Then she told me that on the way out of the dog park the dog got loose and was running down the street thats why it might have looked like it was moving so fast. Then she basically stuck to her story and said to give her the benefit of the doubt. She couldnt give me a clear answer on why half the bottle of wine was gone but she said she only had 1 drink before going to the park. The only thing she said she was sorry for was not being more clear about what she meant by "walked" to the park. I said I needed some time to process it and we had been talking 2x a day during the workweek just checking in. On Tuesday she told me she ran into this guy randomly in her apt complex that she has told me she finds attractive. They always seem to "bump into each other" when things between us get rocky but I dont think anything has ever happened. I didnt really think anything of it when she told me I trusted her faithfulness and dindnt really question things at all. That weekend she came over and I was on my computer and she was asking about all the people who have texted me. So then I said let me look at your texts. She said okay and I went to the deleted text messages and loe and behold she had been texting this guy too and then deleted it. She said that iphone randomly deletes her text messages. The messages weren't too bad, however on Thursday she had a text at 8pm telling him that shes coming over now. She said they just talked for a bit and then she left. But its just to many suspicious things happening and I feel like there is some lying and deception going on. She seems to have a reason for justifying all her actions and doesn't think anything she is doing is wrong, its making me feel like I'm the crazy one and I'm not sure what to do.

I know the title sounds sus but I swear there’s a good reason for it. So for context I live in a small town in Pennsylvania and a new neighbor moved in. He’s rude and inconsiderate of all the people around him, he moved into the empty house about 4 houses from mine and he has a huge yard he can drive into if he chose plus since he’s on the corner he can park on the side of his house (on public street) so mans has options. Well for whatever reason that isn’t my business he keeps buying busted up foreign cars and right now he has 3 parked where the rest of us park our actual cars. Now the important part, he straight left them on the public street with no inspection or plates for any of the cars for 3 days now and doesn’t seem to have plans to move them. Me and my neighbors are pissed cause we can’t park in our spots (myself included) and I want to know if I can have them towed. Btw He has another in a trailer thing across the street in another elderly neighbors spot so she has to walk pretty far to get to her home now and he has 2 OTHER CARS that are legal on the side of his house. My neighbors myself and my family shouldn’t have to walk all the way down the street because this guy has 6 cars for no reason on a public street when he has other options.

Hi. I moved out of my apartment back in January because I qualified for affordable housing. The two other signers of the lease remained at the property. I tried to find a subletter to take my room but unfortunately was not able to find anybody by the time I moved out. I notified the landlords that I had left 1/31. And about a month later signed a relinquish agreement saying I relinquish rights to my deposits and any rights to the apartment. Since I left, I just discovered after being texted a few months after leaving, that the remaining tenants never filled the room vacancy or paid the portion of the rent that I was formerly responsible for, letting it stack up to over $4000 in unpaid rent. They said they were both named on some official notice to either pay rent or legal action would be taken, but I was not named. Can I still be held responsible for my former portion of the rent several months after moving out and after signing a relinquish agreement? If I was not named on the notice and not contacted by the landlords, I should be in the clear, right? Shitty situation, evolved from poor communication from the affordable housing department so I was unable to cleanly plan my leave, because I had no idea when I would be able to move into my new place until a week before. Am I in danger of receiving a judgement or an eviction at a property I vacated several months ago?

I just hosted two adults and a toddler for 4 nights. I’m an on-site host — I rent out the bottom unit of my top/bottom duplex. Without it going into too much detail, here’s how I reviewed the guests:
5⭐️ House Rules 5⭐️ Communication 3⭐️ Cleanliness - Permanently stained quarter-sized black spot on the sheets - Food / marks on both beds’ duvet covers - Makeup on the towels (makeup cloths were provided) - Dented pans (toddler was hitting them on the floor) - Ripped decorative pillow - Furniture misplaced / moved to other rooms - Loud noises that sounded like slamming doors and banging pans
The host is angry with me since they left a glowing 5⭐️ review for our listing and they felt they took great care of the home. The simple fact is: our listing is pretty high demand, so I wouldn’t host them again. I wanted to be honest with my review so other hosts could make an informed decision about hosting them.
Who’s in the wrong here?

TL;DR I went from a prison in the middle of Colorado to a half way house more south serving a 4 year sentence. At the half way house I eventually figured out that I could rent PS4 controllers from the main office and use them to controller an emulator on my phone and it was a great way to pass time.
Eventually I realized that I could do Bluetooth to my phone and I realize that I hadn't yet beat DQ4 (But had done 1 through 3) and I fired up the DS version on my phone and used the PS4 controller. I was super impressed by the game. Although I don't know if I loved having THAT many characters - I was never sure who to focus on lol. But nah it was one of the best times I had at Com Cor besides the Castlevania game haha. I give a huge shout out to Colorado's Corrections for allowing us to play with phones and controllers and having private space while serving our sentence.
My friend did the same thing and played PSP Monster Hunter haha. At one point we did get a phone projector and we watched Wrestlemania when Kofi won. We played games with it but the latency was horrible.
All in all, I'll always remember DQ4 as a game I played while essentially locked up lol. I had started with DQ8 in 2005 I played DQ9 while homeless for 100 hours, and my DS was stolen right as I had approached the final boss. I've also played all the monster games except the switch. And the Builder games, watched the old anime and love Akira Toriyama.
Also been out of the legal system now for 7 years :) Been sober off my old addiction for 6 years.
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Peace be with you all.

I've been seeing this woman, Kianna, for about 2 and a half months now. We haven't had the "what are we?" talk yet, but we're both exclusively seeing each other so we may as well be, it's just that the topic hasn't come up. I really really enjoy her company, we get along really well, we have fun together, and we have the same morals. I do see a future with her, but she has a bit of a complicated situation with her ex.
To be fair, she has been fully transparent about her history with her ex. Basically her ex lives on a large farm/acreage with his parents, he owns a little house on the property and his parents own one too, and Kianna's ex invested a lot of his own time and money into helping his parents so he will inherit it all when they pass.
Well Kianna moved in with him and lived with her ex for 3-4 years. They bought animals together (horses, donkeys, chickens, dogs) and she also funded some of the projects they did on the farm. According to Kianna things were really great until she discovered her ex had a huge gambling problem and was basically in debt up to his eye balls. They tried to work it out, but he kept going back and so she was forced to leave. Now because she isn't from a farm and her income wouldn't allow for her to take her animals while renting a property, she had to leave them all with her ex, and so they've kept in contact specifically for the animals.
Kianna was very transparent about the whole thing. She says she still sends over food orders for the animals, and if he forwards her invoices for the vet she will send him half the money of the bill. Basically she's trying to still look after her animals the best she can given the circumstances, but aside from that she has very little contact with him.
That is until a few days ago, he reached out and requested they go for lunch. Says it's about the animals. Kianna gives him a call because she was worried and her ex tells her that they need to sit down and figure out how to go about selling the horses and donkeys because he (or his parents?) are going to be selling part of their land and need them gone. He also says he needs her to see him anyways because some mail came in for her that she needs to come get.
Kianna immediately told me her plans, but I feel uncomfortable by it. I don't exactly know why. I don't have a bad gut feeling about it or anything, but it's just weird they have to go to lunch together. Kianna also said that if they are selling the horses and donkeys that she will go to the farm and see them one last time, as well as her dogs and chickens. I think that's fair, but I'm also conflicted.
Also to give you time frames: Kianna and I have been seeing each other for almost 3 months. Her and her ex broke up a little over a year ago.
TL;DR: The woman I have been seeing keeps in contact with her ex due to animals they share (dogs, horses, donkeys, and chickens). Her ex requested to see her for lunch to discuss the future of the animals. I'm uncomfortable with it but don't know why.

going to keep vague as possible, as i don’t want people getting mad for sharing my opinion lol. probably going to be long my apologies.
so basically my sisters pregnant again. which isn’t necessarily bad but i don’t think it’s the best idea. at the end of the day it’s not my life she’s an adult and can make her own choices so i don’t really care what she does. i’m just very wary on how kids grow up (i came from a great family, but my parents weren’t very emotionally available it was more financially more on that later) im not going around being like get rid of it to her and i get kids are a touchy subject. she’s my sister and i love her, of course im willing to help and all that i just feel like she’s doing stuff she doesn’t have to be if that makes sense.
one of my other siblings got mad at me the other day when we were talking abt our sisters situation and i gave my opinion to them again. i was told i should keep my opinion to myself and just be happy for them.
i just don’t think financially and mentally it’s the best for them or the kids but this is my opinion that i shared privately with parents and other siblings not involved. she’s got a kid already, and her situation has improved since having her first child (very proud of her for being better for her kid) but not to the point where i think it’s smart to have more. love that she’s in a place where she thinks it’ll be great and i love that she’s found someone and all that truly am so happy for her. i just feel she’s so rushing when waiting would be such a better choice. but here’s why i think waiting would be better.
her and her partner maybe make 100k together which by all means is not bad at all. her partner makes most of it, so another kid means either she stays home full time and partner works more or they both work and pay for childcare which makes no sense with the price of that these days. they do have debt. along with the fact that they have a roommate (i think the roommate is more dependant on them then they are on the roommate but still). the roommate makes it literally 10x worse. their house is AWFUL it’s full of pets and the three adults in the house do not do laundry and the roommate keeps bringing in more animals. unfortunately from what i’ve heard they also don’t take the best care of the animals, i’ve heard they have cats and they rarely empty the litter boxes. leading to overflowing boxes. dishes pile up and all that (i personally have not seen the house in person as im a neat freak but i’ve seen it in the background on facetime and the like). that scares me as my current nephew/niece is a toddler and could easily ingest something they shouldn’t.
they also haven’t really left the party stage, again it’s gotten better. but any chance for a festival or concert and u bet they’re going (not knocking them for having fun but priorities) and it’s not like they live super close to help (family) so they either have to get a sitter as the roommate will go with them or (this has happened A LOT used to happen more but still) a post will go up asking if anyone on their socials will be able to take care of my nephew/niece for the day/night. which of course it’s not like they’d have a stranger watch the kid but that just feels so irresponsible to me. i get spending the money ahead of time and maybe plans changing w the babysitter or whatever but still. UR ASKING SOCIAL MEDIA TO WATCH UR KID. gotta do what u gotta do i guess but again for a concert? really. along with the parties comes drugs which scares me as our family has bad history with it. and so does she, she has a history of addiction so i don’t think her still doing that is good even if she’s dialled it back.
don’t get me wrong i know my sister loves her kid and would do everything she could to give them the world and keep them safe. i just can’t stop thinking about, as she stated to me “i love them but baby name wasn’t as worth it as i thought it’d be”. drunk off her rocker less than 5 months ago(child was home with family).
again im not saying any of this to her, this is just conversation between family that still lives at home and everytime we talk about her situation none of them really care. a lot of this is in my head stuff. im just worried for my nieces and nephews. as i know how much childhood stuff can affect kids myself.
going back to me again i grew up in honestly a great house. my parents weren’t perfect but they tried. my dads high functioning autistic and would work ALL THE TIME so we grew up pretty much with a single mom (they didn’t divorce just always working) who drank at least 2-3 bottles of wine a week. she did everything she could and protected us and all that but she had 3 kids each 2 years apart that’s a lot to deal with alone (we also moved a lot which didn’t help her). so she wasn’t the most calm or patient taking care of 3 infants by herself. our house was lovely but again three kids so not the cleanest most of the time etc etc etc. again i love my parents i know they did the absolute best they could and they love and care for us all deeply but it effected all of us. i have countless stories of me going to the top of the stairs during arguments and stuff like that (my dads not abusive but they’d yell a lot especially as kids to us and each other) i know we all have trauma (even if one doesn’t wanna admit it lol) and we should all probably be in therapy (tried bringing that up and was told “no need for outsider perspectives”).
a lot of stuff happened to us that messed with us and it seems my sisters repeating the cycle which just makes me sad. i know there no perfect time to have kids and i love that she’s doing better now that she’s got one, but just seeing them struggle as much already with the one they have and then making more seems so silly to me. don’t get me wrong i think the first kid was a great idea. yes they’re struggling but they can make due with the one. physically, i don’t think they can do more than the one they’ve got. cause as great of a job as they’re doing with it (they do try, like it’s clear my niece/ nephew is loved by their parents) but everyone has limits right and again the energy for just the one is a lot for them. not even to mention financials. again not my circus not my monkeys it’s not like it really effects me so i don’t care that much. im not losing sleep over it yk. it just saddens me to see all the struggle that could have been avoided on the parent side (my sister) and the kids. had they just taken another year or two let my nephew/niece get a bit older and them gain more parenting experience, get a house by themselves instead of renting with the roommate, grow up a little chore wise and maybe even pay the debt off so they can focus on the kids.
again im not saying any of this to her just sharing with others in the family as they’re also talking about all of her other struggles. i wasn’t saying i won’t be there to help or anything like that. just threw me off that me saying “do they really think having the seconds the best decision right now?” was taken like that by my family and i wanted to see what others think. i know their kids will be loved but it takes more than that to raise a kid, im just worried that everyone involved is not going to have the best shot because its rushed.
AITHA for thinking waiting woulda been smarter for both the adults and kids in this situation and voicing that opinion in a private setting?

The relationship has been mired in the conflict since the beginning. Things have gotten ugly many times. Her neighbors called the cops on several occasions. One time last year she was arrested for felony DV. I refused to cooperate. No charges were filed.
I got a call from a sheriff's deputy the other night looking for information about an incident that occurred at my house. He said they received an anonymous report. He wanted to come over to make sure everyone was okay. I told him no incident had occurred and I wasn't at home. Then he said my ex-girlfriend had made a report about a fight we'd had earlier that day. He asked me to come into the station to make a statement. That sounded like a setup. California is a mandatory arrest state. Anytime a DV allegation is made, if there's probable cause to believe it, somebody has to get arrested. I'm a full-time single father with mean spirited baby mamas. Getting arrested would be a disaster for my children and I. I have priors, I'm a felon. My entire life could disappear in less than a weekend if I'm in jail. He told me if I didn't come make a "Mirandized" statement in the next 24 hours he was going to file his report to the DA without any statement from me. I told him I would speak to my attorney before deciding what to do.
My attorney reached out to him the next day to let him know I would not be making a statement. He supposedly filed his report with the DA that night, Friday.
It's now Saturday evening. I've been staying away from my house for the most part and parking my car a few blocks away. But nothing has happened. No knocks on the door. No cop cars on the street. No attempts to serve a protective order. Nothing.
I'm in the dark as to how serious this could be. Some moments I think my life is over. That at any minute the doorbell will ring and I'll be taken out and bracelets. My older kid left to figure out what to do about the baby. Wild accusations, serious felonies, bail too high to afford, (More) years in prison.
But then I reconsider. If they thought I was dangerous wouldn't they have done something by now? At the very least tried to serve a protective order? Maybe she told the truth. That my injuries were worse than hers. So they took an official report, shrugged their shoulders, and said so what?
It's Saturday and I don't expect to hear from my attorney until Monday. I can't wait until then. I'm a nervous wreck. My life could be on the brink of extinction. Am I fucked? Should I be preparing my children for the worst, selling off everything I own to have cash on hand for bail, saying goodbye to all my friends? Or should I exhale, lay low, fill out the paperwork for a DVRO against my ex-girlfriend, and post on social media what an responsible asshole she is for threatening the lives of my children like this?
What's the consensus?