Quotes that make your boyfriend smile

This is a piece that will be presented as a speech, this is my first draft and would love some feedback. (ignore spelling and punctuation it will be fixed later haha)
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The human brain lives for 7 minutes after death and plays its happiest memories. 7 minutes of my life replaying, the happiest 7 minutes of my life. For some this thought may be comforting but a part of me found this thought massively terrifying, this may seem odd to you, but now do this, close your eyes and try to think of your happiest memories. Some of you may have easily thought of some memories that would fill your 7 minutes or you may be like me the first time I tried this, a blank empty mind. I remember the feeling when I couldn’t think of my so called happiest memories, it made me start to think if I had in my 14 years on this planet done anything that made me truly happy.
00/0/2021, a night spent with my mum and oldest sister scout, a night of laughter and smiles. Nothing special, just a night with 2 people I love, joking around, singing and losing breath from laughing too hard. Even just thinking about that night makes me smile. This memory made me realize I've been truly happy before, in fact I have a lot, but I look over those small memories in search of the big moments, the moments that we think are the most important. Maybe we look for moments of success or moments where we are with lots of people or maybe we look at moments where something big happened like a party or a concert but in search of those moments we miss the ones that maybe actually made us the happiest, the moments where you’re in the living room singing harry styles with your sister while your mum laughs at you.
Humans are often culprits of overlooking the small moments or taking them for granted, man what I would give to go back to moments in the past where i’m not worrying about anything, not thinking about anything else going on, just me, with people I love, having a good time and living in the moment. I now worry about if I used all those moments up and I never got to appreciate them while they were happening, this thought reminded me of a show I watched and a line that’s in it, “I wish there was a way to know we’re in the good old days while we are in them.” This quote again made me think about the human tendency to not actually appreciate what we have and we look to the future or we compare ourselves to others or we think about the bad stuff and skip the fact of how lucky we are to have anything. It’s a hard thing to comprehend what we really have while we’re here, facing challenges and hard times, but I decided for a week I was going to try to brush over the bad stuff and just appreciate how precious this crazy and beautiful earth really is and just see how much a positive attitude changes things.
Throughout this week life seemed different, now some may know what i mean by this some may not but this week felt like when you're lying in bed, thinking about life and you realize you love it, of course the next morning when you wake up tired and have to go to school or work that appreciation instantly goes away but I found out that that feeling doesn’t have to go away. Monday morning, lots of people's least favorite moment of the week -- including me -- but I woke up, felt my favorite soft blanket wrapped around me. Got up and hopped in the shower, felt the warm water against my face with the only noise being heard are my own thoughts, seeing my friends who never fail to brighten my day, go to class where I can just be myself and not worry, even smaller things that day like dancing in the middle class. I started to really notice how much this stuff means to me and how someday I'm going to miss those days and say something like “life was easy back then.” or “I miss those days.” There is something poetic about how there is beauty in anything if you look at it the right way, I now start to wonder if I’ve been looking at everything from the wrong angle, but maybe there's even beauty in that and the way that we don’t know till later when everything is clear to us.
“Find ecstasy in life, the mere sense of living is joy enough.” Life is filled with these odd little balls of joy and beauty that we often miss as our minds are looking into the future or focusing on every bad little detail of life which in the end really doesn't matter and holds no significance in the short or long run. I think everyone at some point, at least just for a bit, needs to purposely make their mind brush over that silly stuff that we should be ignoring and appreciate what we really have because at some point we won’t have it and all we’ll have are the memories, so lets make sure that those are good memories, that our 7 minutes will be filled these flashbacks and not just have a couple sprinkled in and around before we are gone forever. I know for a fact I want to experience and appreciate those 7 minutes before it ends up the last time I can remember them before it turns into darkness and peace. “There's a lot of beauty in ordinary things, isn’t that kinda the point.”

Hey, I'm 25 and I have a thing for military guys, but I'm open to chatting with anyone. I'm trying to mend my broken heart (guess who caused it) and would love to have some conversation. I'm open to phone calls or voice calls. I enjoy making pancakes and onion rings, and I'd love to share that interest with someone who appreciates good food. If you're up for some engaging conversation and maybe a bit of culinary talk, let’s connect and see where it goes. Whether you're military or not, I'm just looking for a friendly chat to help me through this time. Let's share some stories and make each other smile hehe.

I don’t know much about you aside from the department you work in and the times we have to coordinate on tasks. But I like you. I’m not entirely sure why, but being around you brings a sense of comfort. You’re gentle, kind, and always considerate, moving to give me space when we cross paths. Your warm smile is truly refreshing.
My life is challenging and stressful. I have kids and a spouse who sometimes makes me feel unappreciated. Though he is kind and does a lot for our kids, when he's angry, he can be hurtful, calling me names. It's been a long time since he called me beautiful without ulterior motives.
At work, when I see you, my mind drifts to a better place where I feel valued and admired. I miss feeling like that. But I know my circumstances make things complicated—having kids, sharing a home with someone else, and the fact that we work together.
It feels like I have a crush for the first time in a long time, like being back in high school but I’m 32, working in tech. It feels silly. But from the moment I saw you, I felt a strong desire to know you better. It’s not love at first sight, but I’m definitely drawn to you.
Seeing you is the best part of my workdays. I hope this doesn’t come across as creepy. I’m really trying to keep my distance and not be weird.

Hi SpongeBob my life used to be so good when I would watch you on Nickelodeon for hours on end as a kid. I didn’t have a worry in the world back then, those where the days grandma would pick me up from school on Friday to spend the weekend we would order a pizza and I would fall asleep on the couch laughing and smiling at your funny life while munching down on yummy pizza. Now I’m a crippling alcoholic , my grandmother had a stroke that crippled her and she has dementia so she can barely remember me. I’m already starting to lose hair. I can’t afford pizza and my stomach can’t handle it anyways because of all the drinking I’ve been doing. I spend most of my days alone in my room watching tik toks that I forget about, all my friends moved away and I never made it to college. I spend all day making pizza SpongeBob why did you ABaNDOn me whyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!

To preface, I am a 26 year old female, alot of the events that I'm going to talk about occurred when I was a child, some will be more recent, but as I keep low to no contact with my parents now, there wouldn't be much to tell.
As far back as I can remember, my mom would say and do things that made me feel like I wasn't as important as my brother(s). Before my younger brother (22M) was born, if my older brother (29M) broke or damaged something, he'd blame it on me. She always believed him. Sometimes he'd pinch himself, run to our mom crying and say that I pinched him for no reason and I'd end up getting punished. If he wanted to use the PS1 (for those who remember that) and I was using it, I'd be forced to get off so he could have a turn, regardless of how little time I had been using it. The same applied to the family computer. Anything he wanted, he got.
After my little brother came into the picture I assumed my older brother would be forced to share the game systems, computer, toys etc. But I was mistaken. Instead, my mom began to spoil them both, giving them whatever they asked for. Citing their recent autism diagnosis as the reason for the special treatment. "You're the only normal one, you have to compromise on these things for your brothers because they're special." "You have to be mature and responsible because they can't." Were essentially the messages I was fed for years.
I was often the one left in charge if my parents went out, not my older brother. If I wasn't in charge, they would have our oldest brother, (32M) who was adopted by our maternal grandparents, my mom's parents, watch us. Unfortunately, he was also spoiled rotten, but by my grandparents in an attempt to make up for the fact that my mom didn't raise him. Which only fueled my older brother's need for the latest and greatest toys/games at the time. So they got into arguments all the time and I'd end up being the mediatoone in charge regardless. I always had to keep a close eye on my little brother regardless of who was left in charge also, he's not as self sufficient as my older brother and lacked the understanding that most kids his age had, so he needed constant supervision or else he'd end up getting hurt. Which happened a few times, but surprisingly only while my parents were the ones watching him.
When I was 10, my dad lost his job after a seizure (he's an epileptic) caused him to slam his face into a coffee table. He wasn't able to immediately return to work due to the damage, and was fired as a result. We were then evicted from our apartment and were forced to move in with my maternal grandmother. My grandfather had passed a few years prior so it was just her, my uncle and my oldest brother living in the house at the time. My grandmother didn't want us there, to put it simply. My uncle is the one who kept bothering her about how my mom was going to lose custody of us if we didn't have somewhere to go, and she eventually caved. But she wasn't discreet about how little she enjoyed having us there.
At 13, we were still living with my grandmother, my dad had gotten a new job and I finally got a cell phone. Not my own, but my Dad shared his with me after he'd get off work. So from the hours of 4pm to 10pm, I was a regular teen with a phone, which felt nice. One day, I had to text a friend about something related to school, so I asked my mom if I could borrow her phone to text this friend. As I was getting the info on the assignment that I needed, a text came across the screen. It was from my mom's ex Jay. Jay was the father of my two older brothers, (29M & 32M) he was also physically abusive towards my mom when they were together. I admit I shouldn't have gone through her messages, but as far as our entire family was aware, Jay wanted nothing to do with my mom or my brothers, so I was curious as to why/how my mom had his number saved, let alone why they were speaking. To my horror, my mom was flirting with and sending very explicitly worded messages about how much she wanted him and how terrible my dad was. I'll admit, neither of my parents were perfect, my mom had her favoritism of my brothers, while my dad was verbally and physically abusive towards me and my older brother, but never my little brother. My dad also cheated on my mom with a coworker shortly after I was born. Which my mom made common knowledge to us kids by the time I was 7. So our relationship as a family, was tumultuous to say the least. Nevertheless, I brought the texts to my dad, who then confronted my mom. I mean, I was a kid, I had no idea how to navigate that. So I brought it to an adult, as I thought I was supposed to. But boy, I had no idea that things would turn they way they did. My mom essentially told my dad, who barely understands technology, that the texts he thought she sent, her ex sent and that I was just trying to break them up because I hate her. He believed her. This affected me for years because she'd always use it as leverage to accuse me of lying. "Well you lied about those texts, so obviously you'd lie about this too!" I was branded a liar and to this day, despite her admitting that she was lying back then, everyone in my family just sees me as a melodramatic liar and I've come to accept that will probably never change.
At 14, one of my best friends died in a train accident. I wasn't allowed to go to his funeral because my parents had booked a vacation to see my dad's family. My parents knew that telling me no before we left would result in me sneaking out and going to the funeral anyway, so they lied to me, saying that they'd think about it and let me know in the morning before we'd leave, saying it with that tone they use when you know they're going to say yes just to make me think I'd be able to go to the funeral and avoid having to look for me. They've admitted to all of this which is even more chilling to me. The next morning, they'd already packed my luggage in the car by the time I had woken up. My dad sat down and told me in no uncertain terms that I was not going to the funeral and that I was going with them, regardless of what I thought or did. I kicked, screamed, cried, bit, everything I could possibly do to get my dad to put me down. But in the end he turned on the child safety locks and he threw me in the car with my younger brother, we left and spent 3 days with my dad's family. All the while I was made fun of and mocked for crying constantly on what was "supposed to be" a happy vacation according to my parents. My older brother didn't want to go, so he didn't have to. But apparently that only applied to him. To this day I still haven't forgiven them for that.
At 15, I was kicked out of my grandmothers house, and only my dad was against it. But in the end, I had to go live with my boyfriend because I had nowhere else to go and nothing my dad said changed the minds of my mom or grandmother. Until I turned 18, my mom would get me $100 in groceries a month, to keep me alive. (I think she was just afraid I'd report her for abandonment if she didn't atleast feed me) Even then, she would say that she couldn't afford the $100 sometimes and I'd have to get a month of food out of $50 or less.
At 18, I became pregnant. My dad was very unhappy. I had my first born and I thought we were on the road to mending our relationship.
At 21, my parents invited me and my child to their house for dinner, they also invited my boyfriend but he was unable to join us because he was tired from work, but these dinners had become a regular occurrence at this point. Unfortunately, my older brother (29M) still lives at home with them and my younger brother, so I was forced to interact with him. He ended up saying something like "Mom and Dad only put up with you because they want to see your kid." It struck a nerve with me, because it had already felt that way to me for awhile, and my parents were right there, but didn't deny what he said and I started to cry. I excused myself outside but I wasn't calming down.
For some context, back when I lived at my grandmother's house, I had regular breakdowns. My parents were constantly yelling at me or hitting me for one thing or another. I didn't have a room or a bed back then, I slept on the couch in the living room from the ages of 10-15. So when my dad would go off, he'd repeatedly slam me down into whatever surface was in the room if I tried to get up or leave the room we were in. So the couch if it was the living room, my parents bed if we were arguing in their room, etc. My mom never stopped this. Sometimes it would go on for hours, and it'd get to the point where I'd either freak out and get physical with my dad or I would start to rip out my hair and beg him to leave me alone. I was regularly laughed at by my mom or older brother and called dramatic for reacting that way during these screaming sessions.
But in that moment l, as I was crying outside, I felt like that kid again. I was small and meaningless. I wanted to go home. So I collected myself as best I could and walked inside, grabbing my son as I walked up to my parents at the dining table. I told my mom that I was sorry, but we're going home. She got as far as saying, "But we're about to have di- ." before my dad began to scream at me like I had never heard him scream before. My mom took my son into another room as soon as she saw that I was caught off guard by my dad's outburst, and locked him in my uncles bedroom. For over an hour my dad berrated me, as I could hear my son wailing for me from the other room. He kept pushing me and getting in my face, not letting me leave the dining room, he almost slapped me but for whatever reason, didn't. My mom and older brother, just like when I was a kid, stood there and laughed at my reactions. Eventually, he stopped because I said something that made him really mad, so he charged outside and left. My uncle came out of his room with my son soon after and he drove us home. I sent them a long message afterwards stating that I'm going no contact. That lasted about three years, and we've since reconnected in the past 2 years, my dad hasn't pulled anything like that, seemingly because he knows I'm serious when I say I will never speak to them again. My mom on the other hand is back on the "she's out to get me" "she hates me" train again. Anytime I ask her something, even simple yes or no questions, she sends me a novel detailing her yes or no answer. If she's saying no, she always phrases things like I'm this unhinged person who goes crazy over being told no and that she's just an innocent victim to my rage? Which is funny because regardless of what her answer is my response is always "Okay." Or "Okay, thank you." And any question is prefaced heavily with "You really don't have to if you don't want to." "It's totally fine if you cant." "It's fine if you say no, I can figure out something else if need be." I don't want to be a burden and I don't like exerting more energy than absolutely necessary, so I have no reason to try to argue with her. It's gotten to the point where we have so little contact, she has to blow up small misunderstandings that happen when we do converse. My uncle sent me a screenshot from my mom to him, which was her saying I needed to do something, I honestly don't remember what. But whatever it was, apparently my dad and my uncle were the ones who wanted me to know that, not her. Which honestly doesn't matter either way to me. But I guess she took whatever I said in response as an attack despite only saying okay or alright as a response, and I had to deal with her and my dad spamming my phone in the middle of the night trying to make this literal non issue, an issue. So I ended up replying that I have no idea why or how this had devolved into what it did, but I have nothing to do with this, and to stop messaging me about it. Surprisingly they did. Finally the most recent thing was that I had talked to my parents, in front of everyone at their house, including my boyfriend and our kids. I told them I wanted to start looking for a job and was wondering if they'd be willing to watch my now two kids for a couple of hours on some of the days that I work, just until we save enough for the down payment at a daycare for them. My main driver for this was that my mom and dad had been pushing for my kids to stay ovespend time with them so i figured if we could do that while I also work that'd really help. Nowhere in my mind do I think I am entitled to my parents help, I just thought that if they were pushing to spend time with them, that this was a perfect opportunity to do so. My parents agreed initially, but when I called them to make plans about it because I had an interview lined up, my mom said she never agreed to anything like that and that she "wasn't going to raise my kids for me." In the end, it wasn't worth an argument and I just said that she could have just said no the first time I brought it up, and I would have just started looking at alternatives for childcare. Pulling this hurtful stunt was unnecessary and cruel. And we haven't spoken much since.
Honestly I doubt they'll ever actually change, which is why I keep them at an arms length. Sorry for the rant, I just needed somewhere to put all of this.

TW// purging talk
i recently moved back in with old roommates, my bf and i lived here a couple years ago but we had to move back in recently for a transition period after college. im in recovery for bulimia/restrictive eating and gained abt !10! kg in the ~1.5 yrs we've been away, and im happy about where i'm at with my body and with food.
one of my roommates has been very open about her ED since i've known her, its fluctuated throughout the years, but she is now very tiny since i last saw her. last time i was here, it was anorexia. i was suspecting she is now purging, i noticed she rushes to the restroom right after meals and has marks all over her knuckles and has puffy cheeks. but this morning. i woke up to coughing and groans coming from the downstairs restroom. loud coughs, hacking, gagging, for over two hours. and very dramatic, long, loud groans in between retches. it stopped right when her boyfriend woke up and went to go in and see her, which is why i suspect it was drawn out so long. she is known to beg him over the phone to call out of work so he can go home and take care of her, even when there are other ppl in the house who can do the same thing. i talked to my bf about it, and he says he's heard it nearly every morning since we've been here. i guess i've just slept through it and he hasnt mentioned anything bc he's worried about it being a potential trigger.
i understand eating disorders are competitive by nature but, it's very hard not to see her as a mean person separate from that. everyone in the house has tried to give her a chance, but she's burned every bridge every time. she calls people she doesnt like "fat" as an insult, comments on how everyone else fills their clothes compared to her, compares wrist/thigh sizes, and will just make fun of people who are in vulnerable positions. i have confirmed that another roommate has developed bulimia after seeing how thin she's gotten, and she only encouraged it by coaching them on what bodychecking is and furthering their self image issues.
it was so fucking upsetting to listen to this morning. i cant help but feel sad and also really angry about it. my purging sessions used to last 15-30 mins, and i would run the shower, play music, use toilet paper, and try to mask the noise to accommodate not only her, but any potential person in the house that might be triggered. nobody to my knowledge ever knew i had an ED. i never discussed it with anyone. even when she used to talk about her eating disorder when we last lived here, i never chimed in and chose to stay private about it. for reference, she is 21 and i am 23, and i was her age when i was in the depth of my ED. there is no reason you need to be yakking with the bathroom door open, for 2 hours, letting the whole house hear it, just waiting for your bf to come in?
knowing that she does this nearly every morning is super upsetting to me, and i dont know how long i could do it. its already very triggering seeing how tiny she and other roommate has gotten. it doesnt seem to bother anyone else in the house, im guessing theyre all just used to it atp. i'm looking for employment so desperately, but having to worry about waking up to my roommate's 2-hour purging session just to get her boyfriend's attention is really bothering me. im worried that confronting her will just stroke her ego and there will be nothing productive that'll come from it. is it worth it to bring it up to her? idk if im justified in being upset by the situation, or if im being an inconsiderate asshole abt it.

My love, for the first time we had met, my heart skips a beat. We we're so young, but my young mind and foolishness was ready to die young just for you. You we're the most beautiful mortal that God had put in my path.
We grew up together, but my love never changed, I felt like I am stuck in time when I'm with you. My biggest desire was to always take care of all your wants and needs. I am deeply inlove you and your soul so much, yet I could never look at you with lust.
Unfortunately, you never showed signs that you felt the same way as I do.
I love your smile and laugh, but it pains me to know your not sharing them with me. I love painting with you, but it pains me to see you paint someone else's face. I love writing poems with you, but it pains me to see you slide a poem in someone else's locker. I love singing with you, but it pains me to see someone else singing fowith you.
My love, I've always love taking each other's photos. But today, my heart shatters as I take your wedding photos. I love the way you make children smile, but my hearts felt in sorrow, knowing that the children we're not mine, but yours.
I thank you, for all the time's we spent. Unfortunately, we're finally separating. Despite that, you will always be the special person in my life. Wishing you live a good healthy life with your family, as I slowly pull my heart away from yours.
❤️

I (15F) and my Older sister Eli (22F) have gotten along for most of my childhood, I remember her as my hero and Shield for helping me and my younger sister Luz (12F) to not get grounded. But over the past few years I can see how she changed as a person, for context, I was her first course of help and advise before my parents because I was well known for knowing more than a 30 year old person, I was the first one to know when she decided to get married at the age of 18 with her now ex Vincent (21M). I was her Bridesmaids and the one that helped her thought the whole thing, like choices of dresses and Make-up, as well as Hair, basically her right hand.
Not long after the marriage Vincent came to my parents house, asking if we've seen her wife, apparently, they got into a fight over some texts on Eli's phone during a party, Vincent was mad, as he had a right to be, his mother was on his side as my mom and dad called Eli with no response. This happened one day before my 13th birthday, I was upset as to why she had runned away and not told me anything as she did always. The next day Eli came to my parents house for some clothes, she looked miserable, she told my dad she was staying over her Grandparents (me and her are only related thanks to my father), my father got mad at her, and she cried in me and now Luz' room for at least an hour, I said nothing because my father told me to.
For months we lost contact with her, and we didn't knew were or with who she was. Until she actually reached out to us, se tried to fix her relationship with Us over gifts, visits and even calls, my mom and dad Helped Eli thought the whole divorce process, everything was okay until we lost contact with her once again. My mom was pissed but said nothing, as well as my dad. Some months later we come to contact again, she told us she had some problems with her partner (who I just had the chance to meet like five times), but everything was okay now. Until her partner died from Blood cancer, she was devastated and she slept with us for a few days, during those few days I stayed up all night to watch over her (me and my sisters slept in the same room and bed), as she talked and moved during her sleep, I bought a night lamp so she could fell secure as she was now scared of darkness, and my mother noticed, she thanked me for taking care of Eli and Luz during sleep.
Our relationship grew, until she found another partner, and left her old MIL's house. Her partner was really chill, overall a great guy, but I never got to meet him fully. They broke up at least 2 times and got back before actually breaking up because the guy cheated. Not a month latter Eli got another partner, During that time as she lived in my parents house, she got into a Fight/Chat with my mom, I was present to whole thing where she claimed she had Depression, anxiety and other problems I can't recall, she never actually went to therapy so she was self diagnosing herself (I hate when people do that). During the fight she claimed that no one cares about her and she had to endure everything alone basically forgetting how I stayed up at night watching over her, helping her to distract herself on other stuff, taking her side at most fights etcetera. I told her "You have a family who cares about you, if you can't see that, is your problem because you're so selfish and Mentally unstable" She looked at me with shocked eyes as I was always a person to keep silent during fights, she told me to not get into the fight as it wasn't none of my business, I told her to suck it up because it was the truth and I went to sleep.
She became distant of me and I didn't mind, I had my friends to distract myself from my family problems. She had at least 2 or 3 other relationships after the during fight guy. She got with a guy who I don't like in any way a few months ago, she now lives with him. She had at least fought with him over 5 times, everytime she "Broke up" with him she would go with me and my mom, Telling us how she will not come back with him because of how he and his mother treats her, at one point my mom got mad, and my dad had to give Eli a long talk as he always did when something wrong happened.
1 month ago my dad died from a heart attack and blood cancer related. I was the one to maintain my composure for more long, i basically helped the rest of my family during the whole funeral, watching over my sister and mother when they slept. Eli cried, saying how she didn't said she loved my dad enough, or that she had a lot to things to apologize for, she hugged the box for the longest as my mother cried uncontrollably, mainly my two sisters and mom cried in my shoulders and chest as I only let some tears go.
We became more closer with my sister, only two days later Eli told us that her MIL told her to suck up her pain as my dad was already dead and another stuff (she sent us an audio of her MIL saying this). I obviously got mad and I told her to tell her MIL to f off.
In the 9th day of my dad's passing (as my dad's family is very religious) they made a praying, I didn't felt good and Eli took me outside, I talked to her and I cried so hard on her shoulder, my eyes where swollen and I could barely Oppen them. She told me that I could rely on her anytime I wanted, going to the beach, for a walk, anytime I wished. Everything went well until her birthday a few weeks ago. We visited and cleaned my dads grave, she told us how her partner called her all sorts of hurtful names because the guy saw her with another dude on a bike (her best friends boyfriend), she told us how her MIL called her name's and made her the bay guy, Bethen other things. She told us she was not going to get back with him, two days latter she went out with her friend, she didn't came Back until 9am the next day, apparently she went back with her "ex" over some cute words he told her, and that was it. Shes now on a business trip, she's posting stuff with her boyfriend and cute stuff that I now find disgusting realising how toxic that couple is.
I realised that Eli can't be without a man, I don't know what to do or what to tell her so she could realize that he's not the one as she said in her WhatsApp status. I can't let her live like this, i really care about her, i suggested therapy but she brushed it off, my mother told me to let her go, but I don't want Eli to end in the streets, or something to happen to her. She's my sister and I care about her, but anytime I want to talk to her privately my mother tells me to not do it and that is not worth it.
So, AITAH for wanting to slap some common sense into my sister?

My septic leech field is not allowing flow any longer. I have replaced the septic pump, however the water cannot make it out to the leech field. We are getting it snaked tomorrow and hope that gets us a bandaid fix until we figure out what the real fix is.
I was quoted $18k to do a full un-permitted rebuild of the existing leech field, installation of a sledgehammer and told this should fix the problem.
The septic guy also said that since my home was built in 2005, the new county codes would require we move or extend the leech field to the reserve area. He estimates that would cost $100-150k, based on other similar jobs. We have large granite boulders in the reserve area that would require excavation. We live in central WA state.
I am wondering if anyone has experienced something similar, mainly: 1. Have you replaced your leech field and how much was it? 2. Has anyone else had to deal with updated codes for septic systems while fixing septic issues and did it increase the cost by 5-10x? 3. Any chance anyone has gotten home owners insurance to cover any of this?

My septic leech field is not allowing flow any longer. I have replaced the septic pump, however the water cannot make it out to the leech field. We are getting it snaked tomorrow and hope that gets us a bandaid fix until we figure out what the real fix is.
I was quoted $18k to do a full un-permitted rebuild of the existing leech field, installation of a sledgehammer and told this should fix the problem.
The septic guy also said that since my home was built in 2005, the new county codes would require we move or extend the leech field to the reserve area. He estimates that would cost $100-150k, based on other similar jobs. We have large granite boulders in the reserve area that would require excavation. We live in central WA state.
I am wondering if anyone has experienced something similar, mainly: 1. Have you replaced your leech field and how much was it? 2. Has anyone else had to deal with updated codes for septic systems while fixing septic issues and did it increase the cost by 5-10x? 3. Any chance anyone has gotten home owners insurance to cover any of this?

Hey everyone, I could really use some advice. My boyfriend (26M) and I (25F) have been together for two years, and he's incredibly kind and supportive. However, there's been one issue that's been bothering me for a few months now, leading to multiple fights between us.
I live in a different city and have visited him several times. This time, I asked if he could make his place a bit more welcoming for me, as it's quite bachelor-esque and doesn't feel like home to me (For example, by adding few decorative lights). I even sent him the links. Despite agreeing to do so, I couldn't shake the feeling that he wouldn't follow through. When I told him about this, he said I was right and he wouldn't have done it. He said we could instead do it together. I didn't like his suggestion as I had already reminded him multiple times and wanted him to take an initiative. He tried to defend himself by saying he doesn't know how to do these things and might have mistakenly done something else. He dismissed my feelings, claiming it was absurd to be upset over such things. He seems to think I'm asking him to prove his love for me by doing these things, but that's not the case.
For me, it's not about proving anything; it's about thoughtfulness and making an effort to make your partner happy. This issue has arisen in other situations as well. For instance, when I traveled to his hometown, I asked him to have a cold drink and some food ready for me (as I was really hungry) when he picked me up. Instead, he was busy getting ready for my visit and didn't prioritize it. While I understood, I was still disappointed because I had hoped he would take the initiative.
He often brushes off these gestures, claiming he's not a romantic person and that I should focus on his loyalty, care, and support instead. But I don't believe I'm asking for too much. I just want him to occasionally make me feel special without me having to spell it out for him every time.
We've had a huge fight over this, and he's agreed to try to be more thoughtful, but I can't shake the feeling of disappointment and frustration. I don't want to end the relationship over this, but I'm tired of constantly asking for what I need and not getting it.
I am have mixed feelings about this and confused if I am being adamant over it. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

[Somewhere is a dark room. The room is empty with the exception of a tv in the corner. The tv comes on. It’s the news]
Ok-Driver7647 smiling: Good evening viewers. I come to you LIVE from small town L******. A town that has had many experiences over the years and in the most recent, is a source of unfortunate events. We are here today at Ground Zero to report the lack of anything unfortunate at all. Something which the locals have got used to and are finding quite strange. The peace is leaving mixed feelings of both relief and unease. Is it the Fuckening? Let’s hear from some of them ourselves.
approaches a villager leaning against a wall
OK-Driver7647: Hi! I’m reporting from WTFisdzBS NEWS about the Fuckening. Mind if I ask you some questions?
Villager: Uh.. yeh sure.
Ok-Driver7647: So I heard about the Fuckening. What’s been going on for you this week?
Villager: I was really angry last week and I couldn’t concentrate so I just didn’t go do the thing I did last week where I got triggered. So… nothing happened this week.
Ok-Driver7647: and after that? And the rest of the week?
Villager: nothing. Most of the time I even forgot about it.
Ok-Driver7647 nods: what do you think next week will be like? Do you believe in the Fuckening?
Villager laughs: I think next week will be the same.
Ok-Driver7647 looks at the camera and mouths the word “wow”: thank you for your time.
approaches random citizen walking in our direction
Ok-Driver7647: Hi. I’m reporting from WTFisDzBS NEWS. Can I ask you about the Fuckening?
Random citizen: Yeh, no worries.
Ok-Driver7647: So how’s these last few weeks been for you?
Random Citizen: well this last week was really good. It wasn’t extra special or anything. It was just really nice, yeh. You know what I mean?
Ok-Driver7647: I think I do but I’m wondering if you think it’s the Fuckening.
Random Citizen shakes their head: I used to but then it went on so long that stopped making sense too.
Ok-Driver7647: so what happens next? Any plans?
Random Citizen smiles and shrugs: I dunno. Maybe I’ll just live.
Ok-Driver7647 smiles and nods: thanks so much for your time
the camera follows Ok-Driver7647 down the road to a darkened figure sitting on a chair. He’s soaked in a semi darkness that never leaves him, even in daylight. He looks bored AF
Ok-Driver7647: Mr Boogeyman, Babayaga…. I hear you’ve been here fore a few weeks now? Can I ask you about the Fuckening?
Boogeyman: you must watch too many movies. My name’s not Babayaga.
Ok-Driver7647: oh! my apologies (winks at camera) yes I do.
Boogeyman: I’ve just been hanging around, having my say, making the hair rise skin every now and then but I’m not getting noticed as much anymore. It’s just me in the corner now.
Ok-Driver7647: Do you think it’s the Fuckening, though? You could be busy soon?
Boogeyman scowls: Does this look like the Fuckening to you?
Ok-Driver7647: thank you for your time Mr Boogeyman.
Ok-Driver7647 walks back up the road, still looking up at the camera at times, and continues talking
Ok-Driver7647: While we haven’t had time to cover everything we know so far that nothing is happening and people are generally just going about their week and day.
camera pans to children playing in the street, then over to the Boogeman who is now walking around kicking rocks. It looks like he is talking to himself
Ok-Driver7647: there’s no sign of a big Mack truck ploughing through any time soon and we are also not sure if we should still be waiting on those peppers anymore. Even the Boogeyman has been kept waiting with nothing to do and all the cows have come home. Everything is quiet…. But is it too quiet? Is this the Fuckening? Maybe it it but I’m not entirely convinced. If it is though just remember you saw it here first on WTFisDzBS NEWS. Thanks for watching! Back to you in the studio.
[the tv turns off. There isn’t anymore]
THE FUCKENING: When your day is going too well and you don't trust it and some shit finally goes down ”Ah, there it is, the fuckening.”

Hello! 😊👋🏼
If you're looking for your new best friend and your biggest cheerleader sprinkled with a little bit of Golden Retriever energy, you've come to the right post! 🐶
I’m somebody who loves to chat the day away, getting to know all there is to know about a person (I actually kinda do this for a job!) and forming lovely connections.
A little about me - I’m an introverted extrovert. I love my home comforts, but in the comfort of my own home and with people I love, I’m a bit of an oddball. I love to read, watch horror & comedy movies, listen to metal and country music, get way too invested in WWE, collect Funko Pops, bake, laugh at bad jokes and great memes, and send unsolicited videos of me lip syncing to my friends. I’m a fiancé and a mum to my cute pup and my three lovely cats (crazy cat lady who?). Happy to exploit them for my own personal gain by sharing pictures of them without their consent should you wish. Also, I have watched Always Sunny more times than I can count and will quote this at you regularly ☀️
I like to be upfront and let people know that I’m pierced and rather chonky (here I am) because if that bothers you then we probably aren’t gonna make great friends ❤️
If you think we’d get along, or simply that you can lip sync better than me, then get in touch! Looking forward to meeting some lovely new people 🌻

To preface this I 26 f have been broken up with my ex boyfriend 30m for almost 3 years… our relationship started to fail when I was unable to take out as many credit card loans or make an income due to health reasons. When we moved into a newer quote on quote more upscale apartment complex I found out I was pregnant and was ecstatic because I was told I was more than likely infertile. When I told him, his first response was to make an appointment at the abortion clinic or he would leave. (Do not get me wrong I am pro choice until the day I die but this was my choice, to keep the baby). It was around Christmas time so no clinics were open (in my small town) and by the time I would be able to get an appointment I would be farther than 10weeks along…well the 11th week hit and we still hadn’t told anyone but I hadn’t slept the night before I, I felt something was wrong. When I finally got out of bed I immediately knew I was miscarrying (I had been working on labor and delivery for 3 years at that point). I told him immediately but heard nothing from him all day. When I got home he immediately changed into some “going out “ clothes and told me he was going to go out and celebrate him not having to have a baby with me anymore. Long story short 3 years later I meet the love of my life and were happily engaged planning on a summer 2025 wedding. Last week I got an emergency alert text that said my ex needed assistance through his smart watch (I bought for him). I knew this was a kind of serious one because it gave me the exact latitude and longitude of his last know whereabouts. I ignored it. And tbh I hope he’s dead in the mountains somewhere because of what he put me through. So AITA?

Copy and pasted from what I sent in a discord server on the topic.
ZTD and possibly 999 Spoilers ahead
Carlos (Action Figure)- a type of doll that is meant to be posed at all main joints (head, shoulders, elbows, wrists, hips, knees, ankles, sometimes the waist) and be able to hold the pose, doesn't have any interchangeable parts and typically depicts more masculine figures (commonly superheros and other rigid designs such as mech suits are used as a basis as skin tight suits and armor are easier to model around posable joints than loose clothing)
Akane (Nendoroid)- Nendoroids are a type of collectable figure produced by Good Smile that are smaller than a standard figure often depicting characters in a "chibi" style. Most models also come with multiple replaceable parts including face plates for different poses and expressions. Good Smile did also release a general accessories pack to add extra little pieces to put on the Nendoroids which does include different color cat ears
Junpei (Voodoo Doll) - I'm sure most people already know what this is, I haven't done a lot of research on voodoo dolls or the cultures that may have used them so I don't want to say anything incorrect so imma say Google it in your own time if you wanna go in depth. This being used for Junpei is more than definitely a reference to the "For you" June doll in 999
Sean (Matryoshka)- also called a variety of names including Russian Nesting dolls, stacking dolls, and tea dolls. They were created with the intention of helping kids learn to count. Symbolically is used to represent a number of things including fertility, continuation of life, and less often; someone who is "two-faced" or has secrets.
Mira (dress up doll)- the image used in game most closely resembles a Bratz doll. Dress up dolls usually also have posable joints but the range of points of articulation varies greatly between specific models. The different outfits you can buy with them can be made from cloth and closed with velcro or be made from rubber with an open seam to slip on and off. Definitely made to be played with in a ton of scenarios that kids may come up with
Eric (baby doll)- this one doesn't require much explanation. Baby dolls were initially designed in the 1800s with ceramic heads and limbs attached to stuffed cloth torsos to be a part of "imaginative play" to give kids a more cuddly doll to use as a pretend baby instead of other common dolls that were completely made from hard material with no articulation. Modern baby dolls use soft plastic or rubber as an alternative to ceramic but still represents a baby to be taken care of. Not to be confused with "Reborn dolls" that are highly intricate pieces of art designed to look exactly like newborn babies.
Diana (Porcelain Doll)- Porcelain, while being a type of ceramic, is made from higher grade clays and fired at much hotter temperatures than normal ceramics. Dolls made from porcelain are made to be display pieces and not played with in the way a dress up doll or a baby doll would be. Antique porcelain dolls can sell for upwards of thousands of dollars (Diana's doll in mentioned to be made of bisque porcelain, which is what the most expensive porcelain doll, made in 1916 and sold for $300,000, was made of) and are rare due to porcelain being extremely susceptible to significant damage from minor trauma. They are the most used example of "Creepy dolls" used in media due to their glass eyes and typically blank expression.
Phi (Posable Paper doll)- most popular from the 1930s-1950s due to paper being a cheap and accessible resource during the depression era and world war 2. They were easy to mass produce using a printing press and were often found in old newspapers. Theyre used mostly nowadays as the easiest diy dress up doll as all you need is to just draw and cut out the clothes on another piece of paper and place it on top. For this reason they are also popular for fashion designers to work out how they want something to look like on a person (example: how long a skirt on a dress should be). Also used as puppets occasionally for indie animation due to their ease of use, small storage space required, and again, price. As mentioned by someone else, very very flammable.
Sigma (Nutcracker)- a number of jokes could be made here but I will refrain. Typically associated with the Christmas season and can be used to open nuts with harder shells but using their jaws. Original german Nutcrackers were designed off of people of power to give the common folk enjoyment of the idea of making the powerful work for them by "making them crack their 'hard nuts of life.'" Nutcrackers did not become associated with the Christmas season until they were used in the ballet "The Nutcracker" that opened the week before Christmas in 1892 and became massively popular in the 1940s when it started to be performed outside Russia. Nutcrackers are also used to represent good luck and frightening away evil spirits.
Zero II's doll found on a piece of paper in the Pod room looks to basically be a cloth or rag doll which can be used to symbolize a limp person who is unable to do anything (example: being paralyzed or in a vegetative state) which could be a little itty bitty hind sight nod to Delta spending all of Dcom and the decision game in the wheelchair believed to be incommunicable with before being outed as Zero II.

Dearest,
I want you to understand me fully, because I find it immensely difficult to communicate any of this unless it is all laid out as one mindset, for I fear being misconstrued as ill-intended when for me this is an exercise of truth and speaking that truth which I feel. It is an exercise of honesty, and one of humility as I lay bare before your conscious attention the fullness of my feeling.
I have loved and I have lost. A number of times now, in various ways. I have explored depths of despair, loneliness, grief, trauma, and other shadowy sides to myself and after entertaining death itself for years, I have emerged refreshed and cleansed. I choose life and all that this incarnation has in store for me while my lungs continue to take breath and my heart continues to beat.
My orientation to life has long been to clench and grip and grab and tightly hold on to illusions of control and security. To ensnare people with untenable relationship arrangements founded on a lack of self-acceptance and love. To entertain conditional and transactional experiences with other humans, for fear of being taken advantage of. These seeds I have allowed to take root have sprung up many times, as I have continued to water and enrich them with anxieties and fears. No longer. I choose to live and to love. I choose to cultivate a space of love that welcomes and accepts and validates and entertains without the need for gripping and containing those who enter it. And as the space expands the walls of my heart, the incalculable depths of loving potential arise to the surface and saturate my being. I choose to be love itself, incarnate as far as my current form will allow. I honor my limitations and find great serenity in accommodating and challenging them in due course.
One of my core powers is understanding the nature of limitation itself. Thus I recognize that in terms of my love, a limit does not exist that can ever long persist. My love is infinite. As I fall into the space of love, I too am infinite as a whole and no longer feel a need to leave this form, or end things, or to do anything especial to avoid suffering. I am just love itself, and that is enough to satisfy my mind and my heart and my soul. All that exists that may limit the outpouring of this love is the nature of my form, and that blessedly is ever changing—seemingly to the benefit of all, and will ever grow alongside the expansion of my heart.
This space is supremely difficult to remain in forever. But when I am with you dearest, I am always in that space. I am always in that space of love with you. Even right now. I am in love with you. Do you get what I am saying? I love you as a person, a human, a being in general. I adore so many aspects of you. But I am also IN the space of love WITH you. I am in love WITH you. I love you, but I am also in love with you.
I have no fear stating this. How could I be afraid of loving utterly she for whom I hold all desire? How could I fear you, dearest, when your embrace is pure comfort and pleasure? You are divinely saturated in feminine expression and attract every atom of my being like a super-magnet. In fact, you instead take all my fears away and alchemize them into precise and pristinely perfect inspiration for me to cheerfully ingest, effortlessly. You ARE my inspiration, my muse, my lady, my woman, and my lover in my mind and in my heart.
Your laugh is a fountain of music and your speech an enchantment for my ears. Your smile as you grin at me is so wonderfully and delightfully silly, mischievous, cheerful, hopeful, and full of desire all at once. I have never felt my capacity to love so challenged as by you, but neither have I ever recognized just how utterly willing I am and will ever be to fully explore that capacity with you.
The way your eyes sparkle with celestial radiance, and draw me down into their depths is a fantasy ride into the very dreamy undertones of my most private subconscious sensualities. And with a bright unserious laugher bubbling up in the blink of said eyes, you make me go to pieces with chagrin and humility in the best possible way. Often, your glance pierces with icy diamond sharpness, but gives way to pools of the most vibrant tropical paradise blue that are wells of the deepest wisdom; a spring from the mountains that begins a stream that will take a lifetime to meet the sea. I would swim in the depths of those pools forever, were I so fortunate as to be invited closer than the leaves of the trees on the edge of the forest. The Keen-Eyed I name you, for there exists no veil or shroud over me that your gaze cannot penetrate with swift and unyielding overtones of warmth and delight. No shadow can endure that light.
Your skin is taut; your muscles wrought—of strength, and powerful endurance. You make the lands vibrate with joy and excitement as the wind chases your feet as they dance through the world. When it is out, the sun glows dazzlingly, glittering with tiny rainbows of color as it plays across your aesthetic and athletic form, and all the wildflowers yearn in anticipation as you pass—hoping for the glory and chance of being picked and tucked behind your ear—to their greatest delight and honor. Framing the soft expanse of your brow, the tresses of your hair flash with a rare and glorious golden radiance that only the light of the stars glittering in the inky darkness of night could produce. Their glow traverses the infinite emptiness of space only to at long last become ensnared and woven into the soft strength of each strand, to radiate that light anew.
When I hug you, I realize that if I could, I would freeze time and spend an eternity just holding you in my arms, lovingly caressing your hair and back as your soft gentle weight presses into me, comforting me utterly with the honoring of the full humility of my stark humanity. Feeling your acceptance, and validation and encouraging enrichment through holding you makes me possessed by great sorrow, knowing I must let you go, but it also leaves me with a lasting serenity and pleasure, knowing that within the space of this long lifetime, I somehow have been so unbelievably fortunate as to have been graced by so loving of an embrace. Humans go entire lifetimes without ever experiencing such a wondrous experience, and I treasure it every time it occurs.
You will never owe me anything, nor suffer any binding at my hand, save those of your own choosing. I offer you infinite depths of connection and reassurance amidst the wide world, but I do not seek to contain or cage you. You have a path to walk just as I do, but I would have yours lead back to me each moment that it may. I would cherish and love you all the days of my life, and never would I intentionally overstep your boundaries nor subject you to violence. I would uphold your honor and work to emphasize your grace with my own stature and beauty and power. Such that is granted to me by the space of each moment, anyways. There is great potential for mutual growth and fulfillment between us over the length of a lifetime if we are willing to invest in developing a deeper intertwining of our bodies and our souls. I recognize many limits but no limit to the depths we might explore together. The universe is vast, but perfection abounds from the highest highs to the deepest depths, and as long as I have you nearby, I may envision it and establish it in turn, for the benefit of our family, should you choose to spend your time in my company in a home of our own.
And if your choice is to seek a path that follows a diversion from my own, I will accept it with graceful resignation, wishing you only the utmost happiness for all your days. I may strain to understand how any other might love you with greater ardor than my heart is aflame with, but the cosmos does not revolve around me, and I recognize that there persist many potential partners of greater consideration and so I willingly let go of any claim I might try to lay for your hand. Instead I offer only a blessing, that should the universe favor me at long last, that this letter will not fall astray and will arrive to a welcome reception in the halls of your heart. Should it not, I will sit with contentment, recognizing my own bravery and madness in sending it, and regretting not the choice to seek your fancy.
You are a treasure dearest, and I am a treasure seeker. I covet many gems and beautiful minerals and crystals that this wondrous planet has grown and shaped. But no crystal radiates as you do. No crystal has so beautiful of colors. Nor is as delightfully energizing as you are. I find no greater assurance in any rock or stone than I do holding your hands and being within the sphere of your aura. I have faith that I will become as strong or as harmonious or supportive as ever you might wish me to be, if only were the smile in your eyes to wake me from dreamspace each morning alongside the rays of the sun and so inspire me to greatness.
May this wishful boat of heartfelt intention and deep desire sail gently into the cavernous depths of your being beneath the mountainous wall of the outer bulwark of your defenses, and may it receive safe harborage in the twilight pools of dreams that glow like galaxies in the soft glimmer of crystal-laden caves that house your soul. May it meet there the doorway to your heart, and may it pass over the threshold, to begin anew the conjugation of the universe with itself through the vehicle of our mutual love.
For K,
Who never received it, having chosen another lover.

Hi, I'm a 28F who subscribes to groups in poverty finance about budgeting topics as Im interested in being responsible with less than 3k earned per month. However, I've faced challenges. I'm living with my boyfriend and my son. we all get social security because we are both ND and also because Im a widowed mom. What I've learned about being ND in the low fixed income group is that your disabilities/mental health issues around your money will clash with your weird obsessive behaviors/interests and desires to spend your money on fun hobbies or self care/self-love practices. They are just asking for your ass to get dragged online and in person when you want or need advice in your personal finances and quality of life. I also struggle with communication skills and anxiety management about the subject or when I need help from charity. I also know these people don't know me or my autistic ADHD mind to make the right judgment call. I will assure you that my boyfriend and I have always paid our dues on time and never missed a bill like rent. Discretion spending, however, has been emotionally draining as our American COL is still high. Things like clothes, hobbies, transportation, and anything else in the mix of life are a burden of moral and financial debate. I get that we can't always afford everything, I'm not lacking intelligence there. Yes, I get government assistance. Yes, I do go to charites every week for things, and many staff members are angry about my autistic behaviors because the old church ladies never grew up with disabled women like me. My autistic mind gets depressed, worried, or even pissed off when I think about how my income isn't enough for going to work part time nor to support an upper middle class suburban life that I grew up with as a child in the 90s and my invisible disabilities are a barrier in getting better help. Not to mention, I can't drive, and Medicaid covered therapists who understand autism in adults are very rare to find. My last one was emotionally abusive to me, and it's hard to trust the health care that I get. I feel caught in a multi problem mess. Bottom line, I just need more help with emotionally dealing with it.

Keep the bio short and simple. You’ll draw a bigger crowd. If you only have one good photo of yourself, only post one photo. No need to show the bad ones.
Photos of you smiling and looking straight at the camera. No fish photos, no hunting photos, no bathroom photos. Yes photos with dogs and (maybe) cats.
Be genuine about yourself and what you're looking for. Be funny and positive! (Just like you wouldn't swipe right on someone who just made a list of things they hate - don't be that person)
When you make a match and go on a date, LISTEN to them. Ask genuine questions - don't just talk about yourself.
Don't be discouraged. The online dating things can suck, especially when everyone is being mercenary. Folks are still feeling vulnerable after a global catastrophic event, and putting yourself out there is hard.
Some good tips here but i don't fully agree on the bio part. It's not an absolute in ny opinion. Of you don't really have a type you want to attract or just want to be with a 'normal' girl than most certainly go ahead and keep it short and sweet! If you want to be with a certain type of women than cater your bio to that. My bio is very long but it ensures i get matched mostly with girls who match my type. It takes much longer but it's more fulfilling imo.
With over 10 million daily active users, Tinder is one of the most popular and successful dating apps. It’s all about first impressions because people have no choice but to judge you by your photos and the limited information you provide on your bio. Undeniably, Tinder is driven by appearances - as superficial, it may sound.
It is worth noting that Tinder is different for men and women. An interesting Tinder experiment conducted by the Youtube channel ‘whatever’ clearly illustrates this gender disparity. They created two profiles using photos of attractive male and female models. Further, their information was identical regarding age, location and number of pictures. After 1,000 swipes, they discovered that a female profile matched 70% of the time, while a male profile only received 27% of matches. Additionally, the female profile received almost 400 messages in a short period while the male profile only received 28 messages in his inbox.
While the tinder game is different for men and women, the fundamentals of a good tinder profile are the same. Here they are:

1. Use a simple bio

A few words are fine - Words that display who you really are. Don’t try to go overboard with your quirkiness and don’t try to be funny. Most importantly, be yourself and do not leave this section blank.

1. Show your personality through pictures

Choose three to six photos that clearly represent your personality and everyday lifestyle. Make sure there is a mix of head shots, body shots and if you are adventurous, include an active photo - But in all, do not include selfies. Research shows that outdoorsy photos get 19% more swipes, and selfies get 8% fewer swipes. Mainly, you want to highlight your best features. Remember, you main Tinder profile picture can make all the difference.

1. Have good-quality photos

Avoid any blurry, poorly cropped, highly edited photos and heavily filtered photos. You should show what you really look like. Making it highly edited and heavily filtered will make it look like you are hiding something and insecure.

1. Avoid too many group photos

Your prospective matches are not going to waste time analysing ten different images, trying to decipher which one out of the group photo is you. In saying this, avoid photos involving you with your ex partners or people from the opposite sex. In general. In fact, 96% of these photos receive a negative reaction. Although having group photos show you are social, you don’t want your potential match to play ‘Where’s Wally?’, now do you?

1. Smile

According to OkCupid data, women who flirt directly into the camera receive the most messages. On the other hand, men that look away and not smiling receive more attention. Maybe it's because it gives a sense of mysteriousness about them. But don’t go deleting all your non-smiling pictures. Choosing what photo you want as your main is an important choice. Smiling is attractive for both genders and will make you look for genuine and inviting.

1. Highlight your best features

Let’s be honest - This is Tinder. If you have a good body, don’t be afraid to accentuate it - don’t make it too obvious though! In saying this, it is best for someone to take it for you. However, as aforementioned, have a mix of photos and not just photos of your body. Although these photos will get you messages, it may not potentially lead to an ‘actual conversation’, well not in comparison with other photos anyways. This is why you should display photos that represent you to receive more meaningful messages.

1. Get Feedback

Get your friends to choose their favourite photos and rank them from best to worse. Once you find some consistency, you would be able to have an idea on what kind of photos you want to display.

1. Use a professional

Most of the time, an iPhone just isn’t going to cut it. So unless your bestie or roommate has a DSLR camera and some time to lend you, getting an affordable professional is a good idea. A professional will direct your shoot to ensure that all of the above eight points are covered, as well as ensuring that all of the technical details like lighting are met.