Freckle juice fact and opinion
Neutral Politics: Evidence. Logic. Respect.
2012.02.14 02:01 PavementBlues Neutral Politics: Evidence. Logic. Respect.
Neutral Politics is a community dedicated to evenhanded, empirical discussion of political issues. It is a space to discuss policy and the tone of political debate.
2012.02.14 02:27 Young_Zaphod For your Opinions that are Unpopular
Share your burning hot takes and unpopular opinions!
2015.03.31 16:41 Identimental Tell Me A Fact
TMAF is a place to learn interesting facts about a variety of topics. Please read the rules in the sidebar before posting, and remember to always include a source for your fact.
2024.06.02 08:05 Appropriate_Star_352 I 24M want to get back with the mother of my child 24M. My family and her don’t get along. I love her and I love my family I’m not sure what to do?
I have been thinking about getting back with a mother of my child. She let me know that she was still open to trying to get back together and see if we can make it work. We both were in our early 20s when we broke up and it was over cheating, communication, and honestly just not being as close anymore. We broke up shortly after we had our child and there was a lot going on and because of our age I feel like maybe we just try hard enough or try hard enough to see if we could make it work. I honestly would like to get back with her and at least see if we can make things work especially since my child is still pretty young and they won’t understand right now one of the things that is making me hesitant is the fact that my family will not be happy if I get back with the mother of my child. I know it sounds like this should be a easy answer, but I am a family person and I am very close to them. It won’t bother me if they don’t approve of my relationships, but I still would like them to be close. I truly do love her and she is expressed the same feelings when it comes to core things we are about 50% aligned but the other 50% we do not agree on at all and they and the problems are very far off from each other. It’s a very long story and if this gets enough comments, I’ll give more information but I guess the question is am I wrong for letting my families opinion affect me potentially getting back with the mother of my child and trying to continue our family?
submitted by Appropriate_Star_352 to dating [link] [comments]
2024.06.02 08:04 ReasonDear7255 Help I am completely lost - what do you think makes someone entitled?
I am not entirely sure how to write this so please excuse the word vomit that is about to happen. Thank you.
I am an 18 year old online college student and I've always had a bit of trouble making friends and being able to keep them. My anxious tendency's make it hard for me to fully understand why someone would truly want to be my friend. I'm in therapy trying to work this my issues and trying to find better ways of communication. While I've only been in therapy for a short while I, personally, feel like made a ton of progress. I have contacted old friends and have made a couple new ones. I wouldn't go as far to say that I don't struggle with responding but I eventually will.
A big part of my anxiety is that I might take up "too much space", that my behavior would be "too much", that I would be annoying, and ultimately that people would hate be and I'd be lonely. My anxiety sometimes blinds me and I can't tell who I can and can't trust. I see the word alone being used a lot when people use it to describe how they feel but I don't feel alone. The word alone in the dictionary reads "having no one present" and the work lonely in the dictionary reads "without companions; solitary; cut off from others". I believe that the word lonely fits the description of my feeling better than alone. I know that I enjoy my alone time - my space - but for a long time I couldn't tell the difference between the two.
The first time I ever really felt my anxiety was in middle school. My younger self was much more open and optimistic than I am now. I still had that child-like wonder and sense of safety; like nothing could ever go wrong. I wish that feeling never left. As it is for most people, middle school was horrible. I remember being eccentric, happy, and very talkative. This was a direct hit for those "mean girl clicks" everyone had encountered in middle school. At that time I never really understand how cruel the world could truly be. This was the moment I truly felt the anxiety click in, hearing people talk behind your back then be so loving and caring to your face.I won't say that I am a saint because I know that I have also had rude conversations behind peoples backs and I can say nothing eats me alive more then knowing how rude I was. I know that it is almost impossible to get people to not talk about you behind your back, it happens to everyone but this never stopped me from trying.
Those "mean girl clicks" used to talk about how I'm too loud, annoying, they hated my hair, the way I dressed, etc. And I can positively say this went on with me though my entire life. I started dressing in all black, I would speak unless spoken to, I would keep my opinion to myself unless cued otherwise; I did all of this and more just to try and keep the attention off of me. I would keep a book with me at all times so I didn't disrupt anyone so that wouldn't be annoying. I was so fearful of seeing self-centered, being too much to handle, annoying, egotistical, and entitled to how much damage I was doing to my self worth in the long run. I wanted to so anything to avoid being those words because I thought that it would earn me friends; I thought that it would finally make me worthy.
All of this is to say that this was of living followed me though my life. Anytime someone needed something I was the first to volunteer, I wanted to help everyone in every way I could, I wanted to be a natural friend of people. A neutral friend - someone who was like enough to keep around but not noticeable enough to be talked about behind their back. I did this with everyone I met at school, work, family, etc. With this my therapist has helped me open up more and I've gotten more comfortable with myself and the fact that it's okay for me to take up space. However, I am still very aware of how I am acting and how I might be perceived. I think three times about what I am going to say before I say it to make sure I don't say anything that can hurt someone. Does it still accidentally happen, yes, but I am always empathic about it and I always apologize.
I have been in a bit of a job switch recently and I am working with people much older than me and I have had a hard time with management. My most recent bosses and have rude, unforgiving, and disrespectful. Now I understand that not all jobs will be perfect and for the most part you just have to deal with it but as I've said above I take comments that are made to me seriously. I know this can be a bad thing to do but my anxiety had a tendency to pick it up and run with it. My employer makes the schedule on a monthly basis, I am a full-time employee, and for the past two months I have worked 20-25 days each month and now the new schedule (June) I am only scheduled to work for 11 days. With quick math working 11 days can't pay my car insurance let alone the car note. I was understandably, in my opinion, upset and I took it up with them the next day so that I was not speaking out of anger in the moment. When I brought it up to my employer the next morning they told me that 30% of my productivity can from them helping me and the other 70% came from me working alone. I was essentially told that my productivity level was too low and that if I wanted to work more then I need to "prove myself". This honestly stirred a lot of my past worried and anxieties about never be good enough and not being worthy. And while that's not what was explicitly said it is what my anxiety heard.
When I finally got home (I live with a relative) they asked me what was wrong and I had explained the situation with that and I that I felt like I was being productive and trying my hardest. They had brought up the idea that my productivity level might be the issue and when I asked further I was met with one of the more gut-wrenching comments I have ever had anyone say about me. They told me that I act entitled. I have been called many things but for be being called entitled, one of the very things I have tried so hard not to be, it completely broke me inside. I have entered a few inserts below about my "Being Entitled" search.
Entitled - Adjective - Google Definition
They still never apologized and I truly don't think that they will. I've been dwelling on their comment about me being entitled everyday. And everyday it makes me more and more anxious, I've noticed myself being more secluded to avoid stepping on anyones toes. I think what I am looking for here is opinions that aren't mine or theirs. I know that was a lot to read but if you did I would appreciate some feedback. Do I seem entitled? Do I deserve an apology? How do I deal with something like this because I am completely lost.
Thank you for reading my word-vomit <3
submitted by ReasonDear7255 to Advice [link] [comments]
I am an 18 year old online college student and I've always had a bit of trouble making friends and being able to keep them. My anxious tendency's make it hard for me to fully understand why someone would truly want to be my friend. I'm in therapy trying to work this my issues and trying to find better ways of communication. While I've only been in therapy for a short while I, personally, feel like made a ton of progress. I have contacted old friends and have made a couple new ones. I wouldn't go as far to say that I don't struggle with responding but I eventually will.
A big part of my anxiety is that I might take up "too much space", that my behavior would be "too much", that I would be annoying, and ultimately that people would hate be and I'd be lonely. My anxiety sometimes blinds me and I can't tell who I can and can't trust. I see the word alone being used a lot when people use it to describe how they feel but I don't feel alone. The word alone in the dictionary reads "having no one present" and the work lonely in the dictionary reads "without companions; solitary; cut off from others". I believe that the word lonely fits the description of my feeling better than alone. I know that I enjoy my alone time - my space - but for a long time I couldn't tell the difference between the two.
The first time I ever really felt my anxiety was in middle school. My younger self was much more open and optimistic than I am now. I still had that child-like wonder and sense of safety; like nothing could ever go wrong. I wish that feeling never left. As it is for most people, middle school was horrible. I remember being eccentric, happy, and very talkative. This was a direct hit for those "mean girl clicks" everyone had encountered in middle school. At that time I never really understand how cruel the world could truly be. This was the moment I truly felt the anxiety click in, hearing people talk behind your back then be so loving and caring to your face.I won't say that I am a saint because I know that I have also had rude conversations behind peoples backs and I can say nothing eats me alive more then knowing how rude I was. I know that it is almost impossible to get people to not talk about you behind your back, it happens to everyone but this never stopped me from trying.
Those "mean girl clicks" used to talk about how I'm too loud, annoying, they hated my hair, the way I dressed, etc. And I can positively say this went on with me though my entire life. I started dressing in all black, I would speak unless spoken to, I would keep my opinion to myself unless cued otherwise; I did all of this and more just to try and keep the attention off of me. I would keep a book with me at all times so I didn't disrupt anyone so that wouldn't be annoying. I was so fearful of seeing self-centered, being too much to handle, annoying, egotistical, and entitled to how much damage I was doing to my self worth in the long run. I wanted to so anything to avoid being those words because I thought that it would earn me friends; I thought that it would finally make me worthy.
All of this is to say that this was of living followed me though my life. Anytime someone needed something I was the first to volunteer, I wanted to help everyone in every way I could, I wanted to be a natural friend of people. A neutral friend - someone who was like enough to keep around but not noticeable enough to be talked about behind their back. I did this with everyone I met at school, work, family, etc. With this my therapist has helped me open up more and I've gotten more comfortable with myself and the fact that it's okay for me to take up space. However, I am still very aware of how I am acting and how I might be perceived. I think three times about what I am going to say before I say it to make sure I don't say anything that can hurt someone. Does it still accidentally happen, yes, but I am always empathic about it and I always apologize.
I have been in a bit of a job switch recently and I am working with people much older than me and I have had a hard time with management. My most recent bosses and have rude, unforgiving, and disrespectful. Now I understand that not all jobs will be perfect and for the most part you just have to deal with it but as I've said above I take comments that are made to me seriously. I know this can be a bad thing to do but my anxiety had a tendency to pick it up and run with it. My employer makes the schedule on a monthly basis, I am a full-time employee, and for the past two months I have worked 20-25 days each month and now the new schedule (June) I am only scheduled to work for 11 days. With quick math working 11 days can't pay my car insurance let alone the car note. I was understandably, in my opinion, upset and I took it up with them the next day so that I was not speaking out of anger in the moment. When I brought it up to my employer the next morning they told me that 30% of my productivity can from them helping me and the other 70% came from me working alone. I was essentially told that my productivity level was too low and that if I wanted to work more then I need to "prove myself". This honestly stirred a lot of my past worried and anxieties about never be good enough and not being worthy. And while that's not what was explicitly said it is what my anxiety heard.
When I finally got home (I live with a relative) they asked me what was wrong and I had explained the situation with that and I that I felt like I was being productive and trying my hardest. They had brought up the idea that my productivity level might be the issue and when I asked further I was met with one of the more gut-wrenching comments I have ever had anyone say about me. They told me that I act entitled. I have been called many things but for be being called entitled, one of the very things I have tried so hard not to be, it completely broke me inside. I have entered a few inserts below about my "Being Entitled" search.
Entitled - Adjective - Google Definition
- Believing oneself to be inherently deserving of privileges or special treatment.
- Feeling that you have the right to do or have what you want without having to work for it or deserve it just because you are who you are.
- Demanding special treatment, expecting others to do things for you, not showing gratitude, and the need for constant adornment.
- You see your own interest more interesting than others. See your goal and desires to be more valid than others. You disregard rules that are intended for everyones comfort.
- In many cases, describing someone as entitled may be a criticism of their behavior or attitude, suggesting that they display a lack of humility or an unrealistic sense of self-importance.
They still never apologized and I truly don't think that they will. I've been dwelling on their comment about me being entitled everyday. And everyday it makes me more and more anxious, I've noticed myself being more secluded to avoid stepping on anyones toes. I think what I am looking for here is opinions that aren't mine or theirs. I know that was a lot to read but if you did I would appreciate some feedback. Do I seem entitled? Do I deserve an apology? How do I deal with something like this because I am completely lost.
Thank you for reading my word-vomit <3
2024.06.02 07:57 ReasonDear7255 Help I am completely lost - Do you think I am entitled?
I am not entirely sure how to write this so please excuse the word vomit that is about to happen. Thank you.
I am an 18 year old online college student and I've always had a bit of trouble making friends and being able to keep them. My anxious tendency's make it hard for me to fully understand why someone would truly want to be my friend. I'm in therapy trying to work this my issues and trying to find better ways of communication. While I've only been in therapy for a short while I, personally, feel like made a ton of progress. I have contacted old friends and have made a couple new ones. I wouldn't go as far to say that I don't struggle with responding but I eventually will.
A big part of my anxiety is that I might take up "too much space", that my behavior would be "too much", that I would be annoying, and ultimately that people would hate be and I'd be lonely. My anxiety sometimes blinds me and I can't tell who I can and can't trust. I see the word alone being used a lot when people use it to describe how they feel but I don't feel alone. The word alone in the dictionary reads "having no one present" and the work lonely in the dictionary reads "without companions; solitary; cut off from others". I believe that the word lonely fits the description of my feeling better than alone. I know that I enjoy my alone time - my space - but for a long time I couldn't tell the difference between the two.
The first time I ever really felt my anxiety was in middle school. My younger self was much more open and optimistic than I am now. I still had that child-like wonder and sense of safety; like nothing could ever go wrong. I wish that feeling never left. As it is for most people, middle school was horrible. I remember being eccentric, happy, and very talkative. This was a direct hit for those "mean girl clicks" everyone had encountered in middle school. At that time I never really understand how cruel the world could truly be. This was the moment I truly felt the anxiety click in, hearing people talk behind your back then be so loving and caring to your face.I won't say that I am a saint because I know that I have also had rude conversations behind peoples backs and I can say nothing eats me alive more then knowing how rude I was. I know that it is almost impossible to get people to not talk about you behind your back, it happens to everyone but this never stopped me from trying.
Those "mean girl clicks" used to talk about how I'm too loud, annoying, they hated my hair, the way I dressed, etc. And I can positively say this went on with me though my entire life. I started dressing in all black, I would speak unless spoken to, I would keep my opinion to myself unless cued otherwise; I did all of this and more just to try and keep the attention off of me. I would keep a book with me at all times so I didn't disrupt anyone so that wouldn't be annoying. I was so fearful of seeing self-centered, being too much to handle, annoying, egotistical, and entitled to how much damage I was doing to my self worth in the long run. I wanted to so anything to avoid being those words because I thought that it would earn me friends; I thought that it would finally make me worthy.
All of this is to say that this was of living followed me though my life. Anytime someone needed something I was the first to volunteer, I wanted to help everyone in every way I could, I wanted to be a natural friend of people. A neutral friend - someone who was like enough to keep around but not noticeable enough to be talked about behind their back. I did this with everyone I met at school, work, family, etc. With this my therapist has helped me open up more and I've gotten more comfortable with myself and the fact that it's okay for me to take up space. However, I am still very aware of how I am acting and how I might be perceived. I think three times about what I am going to say before I say it to make sure I don't say anything that can hurt someone. Does it still accidentally happen, yes, but I am always empathic about it and I always apologize.
I have been in a bit of a job switch recently and I am working with people much older than me and I have had a hard time with management. My most recent bosses and have rude, unforgiving, and disrespectful. Now I understand that not all jobs will be perfect and for the most part you just have to deal with it but as I've said above I take comments that are made to me seriously. I know this can be a bad thing to do but my anxiety had a tendency to pick it up and run with it. My employer makes the schedule on a monthly basis, I am a full-time employee, and for the past two months I have worked 20-25 days each month and now the new schedule (June) I am only scheduled to work for 11 days. With quick math working 11 days can't pay my car insurance let alone the car note. I was understandably, in my opinion, upset and I took it up with them the next day so that I was not speaking out of anger in the moment. When I brought it up to my employer the next morning they told me that 30% of my productivity can from them helping me and the other 70% came from me working alone. I was essentially told that my productivity level was too low and that if I wanted to work more then I need to "prove myself". This honestly stirred a lot of my past worried and anxieties about never be good enough and not being worthy. And while that's not what was explicitly said it is what my anxiety heard.
When I finally got home (I live with a relative) they asked me what was wrong and I had explained the situation with that and I that I felt like I was being productive and trying my hardest. They had brought up the idea that my productivity level might be the issue and when I asked further I was met with one of the more gut-wrenching comments I have ever had anyone say about me. They told me that I act entitled. I have been called many things but for be being called entitled, one of the very things I have tried so hard not to be, it completely broke me inside. I have entered a few inserts below about my "Being Entitled" search.
Entitled - Adjective - Google Definition
They still never apologized and I truly don't think that they will. I've been dwelling on their comment about me being entitled everyday. And everyday it makes me more and more anxious, I've noticed myself being more secluded to avoid stepping on anyones toes. I think what I am looking for here is opinions that aren't mine or theirs. I know that was a lot to read but if you did I would appreciate some feedback. Do I seem entitled? Do I deserve an apology? How do I deal with something like this because I am completely lost.
Thank you for reading my word-vomit <3
submitted by ReasonDear7255 to Anxiety [link] [comments]
I am an 18 year old online college student and I've always had a bit of trouble making friends and being able to keep them. My anxious tendency's make it hard for me to fully understand why someone would truly want to be my friend. I'm in therapy trying to work this my issues and trying to find better ways of communication. While I've only been in therapy for a short while I, personally, feel like made a ton of progress. I have contacted old friends and have made a couple new ones. I wouldn't go as far to say that I don't struggle with responding but I eventually will.
A big part of my anxiety is that I might take up "too much space", that my behavior would be "too much", that I would be annoying, and ultimately that people would hate be and I'd be lonely. My anxiety sometimes blinds me and I can't tell who I can and can't trust. I see the word alone being used a lot when people use it to describe how they feel but I don't feel alone. The word alone in the dictionary reads "having no one present" and the work lonely in the dictionary reads "without companions; solitary; cut off from others". I believe that the word lonely fits the description of my feeling better than alone. I know that I enjoy my alone time - my space - but for a long time I couldn't tell the difference between the two.
The first time I ever really felt my anxiety was in middle school. My younger self was much more open and optimistic than I am now. I still had that child-like wonder and sense of safety; like nothing could ever go wrong. I wish that feeling never left. As it is for most people, middle school was horrible. I remember being eccentric, happy, and very talkative. This was a direct hit for those "mean girl clicks" everyone had encountered in middle school. At that time I never really understand how cruel the world could truly be. This was the moment I truly felt the anxiety click in, hearing people talk behind your back then be so loving and caring to your face.I won't say that I am a saint because I know that I have also had rude conversations behind peoples backs and I can say nothing eats me alive more then knowing how rude I was. I know that it is almost impossible to get people to not talk about you behind your back, it happens to everyone but this never stopped me from trying.
Those "mean girl clicks" used to talk about how I'm too loud, annoying, they hated my hair, the way I dressed, etc. And I can positively say this went on with me though my entire life. I started dressing in all black, I would speak unless spoken to, I would keep my opinion to myself unless cued otherwise; I did all of this and more just to try and keep the attention off of me. I would keep a book with me at all times so I didn't disrupt anyone so that wouldn't be annoying. I was so fearful of seeing self-centered, being too much to handle, annoying, egotistical, and entitled to how much damage I was doing to my self worth in the long run. I wanted to so anything to avoid being those words because I thought that it would earn me friends; I thought that it would finally make me worthy.
All of this is to say that this was of living followed me though my life. Anytime someone needed something I was the first to volunteer, I wanted to help everyone in every way I could, I wanted to be a natural friend of people. A neutral friend - someone who was like enough to keep around but not noticeable enough to be talked about behind their back. I did this with everyone I met at school, work, family, etc. With this my therapist has helped me open up more and I've gotten more comfortable with myself and the fact that it's okay for me to take up space. However, I am still very aware of how I am acting and how I might be perceived. I think three times about what I am going to say before I say it to make sure I don't say anything that can hurt someone. Does it still accidentally happen, yes, but I am always empathic about it and I always apologize.
I have been in a bit of a job switch recently and I am working with people much older than me and I have had a hard time with management. My most recent bosses and have rude, unforgiving, and disrespectful. Now I understand that not all jobs will be perfect and for the most part you just have to deal with it but as I've said above I take comments that are made to me seriously. I know this can be a bad thing to do but my anxiety had a tendency to pick it up and run with it. My employer makes the schedule on a monthly basis, I am a full-time employee, and for the past two months I have worked 20-25 days each month and now the new schedule (June) I am only scheduled to work for 11 days. With quick math working 11 days can't pay my car insurance let alone the car note. I was understandably, in my opinion, upset and I took it up with them the next day so that I was not speaking out of anger in the moment. When I brought it up to my employer the next morning they told me that 30% of my productivity can from them helping me and the other 70% came from me working alone. I was essentially told that my productivity level was too low and that if I wanted to work more then I need to "prove myself". This honestly stirred a lot of my past worried and anxieties about never be good enough and not being worthy. And while that's not what was explicitly said it is what my anxiety heard.
When I finally got home (I live with a relative) they asked me what was wrong and I had explained the situation with that and I that I felt like I was being productive and trying my hardest. They had brought up the idea that my productivity level might be the issue and when I asked further I was met with one of the more gut-wrenching comments I have ever had anyone say about me. They told me that I act entitled. I have been called many things but for be being called entitled, one of the very things I have tried so hard not to be, it completely broke me inside. I have entered a few inserts below about my "Being Entitled" search.
Entitled - Adjective - Google Definition
- Believing oneself to be inherently deserving of privileges or special treatment.
- Feeling that you have the right to do or have what you want without having to work for it or deserve it just because you are who you are.
- Demanding special treatment, expecting others to do things for you, not showing gratitude, and the need for constant adornment.
- You see your own interest more interesting than others. See your goal and desires to be more valid than others. You disregard rules that are intended for everyones comfort.
- In many cases, describing someone as entitled may be a criticism of their behavior or attitude, suggesting that they display a lack of humility or an unrealistic sense of self-importance.
They still never apologized and I truly don't think that they will. I've been dwelling on their comment about me being entitled everyday. And everyday it makes me more and more anxious, I've noticed myself being more secluded to avoid stepping on anyones toes. I think what I am looking for here is opinions that aren't mine or theirs. I know that was a lot to read but if you did I would appreciate some feedback. Do I seem entitled? Do I deserve an apology? How do I deal with something like this because I am completely lost.
Thank you for reading my word-vomit <3
2024.06.02 07:56 Hi12345xx Why are people getting more and more obsessed with their looks and appearances with each passing day?
I am well aware of the fact that this has been happening in the past decades as well but I have noticed that this has become extremely prevalent in the day and age today where grown adults, and even children from as early as 14-15 as well are obsessed with their looks and how they can achieve ‘perfection’. They aren’t afraid of going under the knives, undergoing various medical procedures, fillers, surgeries, etc without any second thoughts or a careful look at the repercussions. They would rather harm their bodies to the point of an unchangeable ‘perfect’ state than to just accept themselves for who they are, worship their bodies provided to them by the almighty and instead work on it through healthy and beneficial procedures such as working out, eating healthy, having a good sleep schedule, etc. instead of undergoing surgeries, medical procedures and such to an irreversible unnatural state.
However, I am well aware that this is easier said than done as it is mostly carried out due to their insecurities and social comparison and the media that is put out today be it through social media, television, magazines, etc. plays a huge role towards it. I wanna know your thoughts and opinions about it.
submitted by Hi12345xx to Life [link] [comments]
However, I am well aware that this is easier said than done as it is mostly carried out due to their insecurities and social comparison and the media that is put out today be it through social media, television, magazines, etc. plays a huge role towards it. I wanna know your thoughts and opinions about it.
2024.06.02 07:48 mansplanar Top 10 Tinder Tips: How to get more matches
Keep the bio short and simple. You’ll draw a bigger crowd. If you only have one good photo of yourself, only post one photo. No need to show the bad ones.
Photos of you smiling and looking straight at the camera. No fish photos, no hunting photos, no bathroom photos. Yes photos with dogs and (maybe) cats.
Be genuine about yourself and what you're looking for. Be funny and positive! (Just like you wouldn't swipe right on someone who just made a list of things they hate - don't be that person)
When you make a match and go on a date, LISTEN to them. Ask genuine questions - don't just talk about yourself.
Don't be discouraged. The online dating things can suck, especially when everyone is being mercenary. Folks are still feeling vulnerable after a global catastrophic event, and putting yourself out there is hard.
Some good tips here but i don't fully agree on the bio part. It's not an absolute in ny opinion. Of you don't really have a type you want to attract or just want to be with a 'normal' girl than most certainly go ahead and keep it short and sweet! If you want to be with a certain type of women than cater your bio to that. My bio is very long but it ensures i get matched mostly with girls who match my type. It takes much longer but it's more fulfilling imo.
With over 10 million daily active users, Tinder is one of the most popular and successful dating apps. It’s all about first impressions because people have no choice but to judge you by your photos and the limited information you provide on your bio. Undeniably, Tinder is driven by appearances - as superficial, it may sound.
It is worth noting that Tinder is different for men and women. An interesting Tinder experiment conducted by the Youtube channel ‘whatever’ clearly illustrates this gender disparity. They created two profiles using photos of attractive male and female models. Further, their information was identical regarding age, location and number of pictures. After 1,000 swipes, they discovered that a female profile matched 70% of the time, while a male profile only received 27% of matches. Additionally, the female profile received almost 400 messages in a short period while the male profile only received 28 messages in his inbox.
While the tinder game is different for men and women, the fundamentals of a good tinder profile are the same. Here they are:
submitted by mansplanar to MatchMeBro [link] [comments]
Photos of you smiling and looking straight at the camera. No fish photos, no hunting photos, no bathroom photos. Yes photos with dogs and (maybe) cats.
Be genuine about yourself and what you're looking for. Be funny and positive! (Just like you wouldn't swipe right on someone who just made a list of things they hate - don't be that person)
When you make a match and go on a date, LISTEN to them. Ask genuine questions - don't just talk about yourself.
Don't be discouraged. The online dating things can suck, especially when everyone is being mercenary. Folks are still feeling vulnerable after a global catastrophic event, and putting yourself out there is hard.
Some good tips here but i don't fully agree on the bio part. It's not an absolute in ny opinion. Of you don't really have a type you want to attract or just want to be with a 'normal' girl than most certainly go ahead and keep it short and sweet! If you want to be with a certain type of women than cater your bio to that. My bio is very long but it ensures i get matched mostly with girls who match my type. It takes much longer but it's more fulfilling imo.
With over 10 million daily active users, Tinder is one of the most popular and successful dating apps. It’s all about first impressions because people have no choice but to judge you by your photos and the limited information you provide on your bio. Undeniably, Tinder is driven by appearances - as superficial, it may sound.
It is worth noting that Tinder is different for men and women. An interesting Tinder experiment conducted by the Youtube channel ‘whatever’ clearly illustrates this gender disparity. They created two profiles using photos of attractive male and female models. Further, their information was identical regarding age, location and number of pictures. After 1,000 swipes, they discovered that a female profile matched 70% of the time, while a male profile only received 27% of matches. Additionally, the female profile received almost 400 messages in a short period while the male profile only received 28 messages in his inbox.
While the tinder game is different for men and women, the fundamentals of a good tinder profile are the same. Here they are:
- Use a simple bio
- Show your personality through pictures
- Have good-quality photos
- Avoid too many group photos
- Smile
- Highlight your best features
- Get Feedback
- Use a professional
2024.06.02 07:40 Negus_Salomon Help me to create the best application possible
Hello everyone,
I've been a musician for about twenty years and a developer for almost 5 years. For almost a year now, I've been trying to find a project that I really want to work on. After much thought, I think I've finally found it: an app for guitar, bass, and ukulele. It would be a note-taking app by blocks in the spirit of Notion and Microsoft Loop, which, in addition to the usual basic blocks (text, link, image, pdf, etc...), would have specific blocks such as fretboards, chord diagrams, song lyrics with associated chord diagrams, tablatures. Additionally, we would have access to features like a metronome that allows different blocks or notes to be displayed, practice tracking, a library of scales and chords, a bit of AI, real-time collaboration, a community, sharing, all available on Windows, Mac, Android, and iOS cross-platform.
During my personal research and learning, I discovered the importance of UX and Design Thinking, approaches that put the user and their needs at the center of the design. Before fully committing to this project, I have already created some prototypes and conducted extensive research on the technologies to be used. I am convinced that this project is feasible. I now want to gather your opinions and suggestions to ensure, on the one hand, that the idea is viable and, on the other hand, to identify the needs you might have that I may not necessarily have in mind.
Being alone for the moment with a 9-to-5 job, no budget or staff, I rely on your goodwill: I have created a questionnaire on Google Forms that should not take more than 10 to 15 minutes of your time: User survey
I want to be transparent about the fact that all data collected will remain strictly confidential and will not be sold or shared with anyone. In exchange for your valuable participation, you will receive early access to the application as well as to the beta phases, where you can discover all its features in preview.
Thank you in advance for your help and participation!
Musically,
Negus Salomon
submitted by Negus_Salomon to Guitar [link] [comments]
I've been a musician for about twenty years and a developer for almost 5 years. For almost a year now, I've been trying to find a project that I really want to work on. After much thought, I think I've finally found it: an app for guitar, bass, and ukulele. It would be a note-taking app by blocks in the spirit of Notion and Microsoft Loop, which, in addition to the usual basic blocks (text, link, image, pdf, etc...), would have specific blocks such as fretboards, chord diagrams, song lyrics with associated chord diagrams, tablatures. Additionally, we would have access to features like a metronome that allows different blocks or notes to be displayed, practice tracking, a library of scales and chords, a bit of AI, real-time collaboration, a community, sharing, all available on Windows, Mac, Android, and iOS cross-platform.
During my personal research and learning, I discovered the importance of UX and Design Thinking, approaches that put the user and their needs at the center of the design. Before fully committing to this project, I have already created some prototypes and conducted extensive research on the technologies to be used. I am convinced that this project is feasible. I now want to gather your opinions and suggestions to ensure, on the one hand, that the idea is viable and, on the other hand, to identify the needs you might have that I may not necessarily have in mind.
Being alone for the moment with a 9-to-5 job, no budget or staff, I rely on your goodwill: I have created a questionnaire on Google Forms that should not take more than 10 to 15 minutes of your time: User survey
I want to be transparent about the fact that all data collected will remain strictly confidential and will not be sold or shared with anyone. In exchange for your valuable participation, you will receive early access to the application as well as to the beta phases, where you can discover all its features in preview.
Thank you in advance for your help and participation!
Musically,
Negus Salomon
2024.06.02 07:36 This_Hope7106 Moving Out in a Week as a College Student
For some context, I used to be super close to my APs especially my mother and was the kind of kid who would tell them everything. But after moving to college and having some space to think for myself I’ve discovered that I really dislike some of their opinions and also found out a lot of things abt myself that they would never approve of (not Christian anymore, have ADHD, gendesexuality stuff). Since then living with them has been super stressful since I’m hiding large chunks of myself literally all the time. I even have this crazy year-long lie going where every Sunday I tell my mom I go to church to the point where I’ve made up sermons and people lol. Also in hindsight my parents have gaslit me a lot in some pretty typical AP ways even though my mom will claim that she’s not as strict as other APs and will tell me I’m lucky. It’s just gotten worse lately as they feel me grow more distant.
I’m moving in with a friend and know that moving out is what’s best for me right now. just feeling really conflicted since I know I’m really hurting my parents by doing this. On some level I know my guilt comes from the fact that they both blame me for everything and make me feel responsible for their emotions, but on another level I’m just sad. Esp when I think of my mom who I genuinely think did break so many generational barriers raising me in comparison to her own mom. Not that that excuses her behavior. Idk how did y’all reckon with some of these feelings?
submitted by This_Hope7106 to AsianParentStories [link] [comments]
I’m moving in with a friend and know that moving out is what’s best for me right now. just feeling really conflicted since I know I’m really hurting my parents by doing this. On some level I know my guilt comes from the fact that they both blame me for everything and make me feel responsible for their emotions, but on another level I’m just sad. Esp when I think of my mom who I genuinely think did break so many generational barriers raising me in comparison to her own mom. Not that that excuses her behavior. Idk how did y’all reckon with some of these feelings?
2024.06.02 07:23 ResponsibleAd2034 I was watching the On Ride POV of Tiana’s, and just wanted to share my opinion on it.
Obviously I haven’t ridden it yet. This is based solely off the video, so as with all opinions, including those that aren’t fully realized, take it with a grain of salt. So I’ll start off by saying, in my opinion, it’s a tad overhated already. Which I suppose may be a hot take. Princess and The Frog is up there with some of my favourite Disney movies. Maybe in the top ten, personally. The characters are great, the animation is great, the songs are great. Etc etc. Love the darn thing.
In my opinion, the animatronics are amazing! The facade and lighting is beautiful. The songs are the songs from the movie, so I already loved them to begin with. I also think it has a very charming atmosphere. I don’t love, but am into the Special Spice song. I listened to it over and over to see if I would get bored, or it would sour, but nah, I think it’s a fun song. Except for the gumbo line at the start, kinda corny, though I like the sentiment. A lot of people have said there’s a bunch of dead space, which I don’t disagree with. However, I do think that dead space is extremely well decorated, and elevated by the music. Plus, Splash Mountain had a lot of dead space too. I think, animatronic wise, they seemed to opt for quality over quantity. There are far less animatronics, yes, but the ones that are there are significantly better than the ones from splash mountain. Their expressions and fluidity are out of this world, in my opinion. I may be wrong though. Could have just been budget reasons.
My least favourite part may be the part where we’re shrunk, simply cuz I’m not a fan of the new version of Dig A Littler Deeper. Omg this song is literally one of my favourite ever Disney songs, simply because the choir included in the Chorus adds SO MUCH SOUL, and I feel like I’m having an ethereal experience whenever I listen to it. But the one in the ride has none of that, it’s purely normal vocals and the instrumentals, but more jazzy? Not a fan. The frog players are cool tho.
A lot of people have said the lift hill was boring. Which yeah, I can agree with. It seems to weigh itself entirely on the mama Odie animatronic. Which, as great as it is, probably can’t hold the most important moment of the ride on its shoulders. I don’t agree with the fact that the ride needed to have Doctor Facilier tho. He’s one of my favourite villains, and that’s song is top notch, and the lift hill would have been great with “Are You Ready.” Blasting over the speakers. But if they really wanted the ride to take place after the film, shoehorning him in would have made no sense at all. So as much as I would have liked to see it, his absence doesn’t bother me that much. But even without him they could have done better with the lift hill part, even just a few more animatronics or screen’s, something. I think the finale scene after the drop is pretty much perfect, so no thoughts on that.
Anyways, overall, just by the video, I’ll give it an 8/10. I don’t personally think it’s better nor worse than splash mountain, which depending on who you talk to could be a bad thing, good thing, or glass half full situation.
I do think a lot of the fans are just gonna look at it through the lens of: “It replaced Splash Mountain.” Which isn’t a bad thing, but I don’t think that’s fair on the ride itself. It was made by imagineers with a different vision.
Like I said before tho. Take this opinion, like any other opinion the ride will get, with a grain of salt. You hate it to the ends of the earth? That’s fine! You adore it? That’s fine. You don’t love nor hate it, that’s fine too!
Have a good day everyone! Can’t wait to ride it myself, looks like a lot fun.
P.S. I posted this in the WDW subreddit and every post I’ve made recently has been removed. Then the post I made to ask about that was removed as well. Has anyone else in the same subreddit had this problem?
submitted by ResponsibleAd2034 to disneyparks [link] [comments]
In my opinion, the animatronics are amazing! The facade and lighting is beautiful. The songs are the songs from the movie, so I already loved them to begin with. I also think it has a very charming atmosphere. I don’t love, but am into the Special Spice song. I listened to it over and over to see if I would get bored, or it would sour, but nah, I think it’s a fun song. Except for the gumbo line at the start, kinda corny, though I like the sentiment. A lot of people have said there’s a bunch of dead space, which I don’t disagree with. However, I do think that dead space is extremely well decorated, and elevated by the music. Plus, Splash Mountain had a lot of dead space too. I think, animatronic wise, they seemed to opt for quality over quantity. There are far less animatronics, yes, but the ones that are there are significantly better than the ones from splash mountain. Their expressions and fluidity are out of this world, in my opinion. I may be wrong though. Could have just been budget reasons.
My least favourite part may be the part where we’re shrunk, simply cuz I’m not a fan of the new version of Dig A Littler Deeper. Omg this song is literally one of my favourite ever Disney songs, simply because the choir included in the Chorus adds SO MUCH SOUL, and I feel like I’m having an ethereal experience whenever I listen to it. But the one in the ride has none of that, it’s purely normal vocals and the instrumentals, but more jazzy? Not a fan. The frog players are cool tho.
A lot of people have said the lift hill was boring. Which yeah, I can agree with. It seems to weigh itself entirely on the mama Odie animatronic. Which, as great as it is, probably can’t hold the most important moment of the ride on its shoulders. I don’t agree with the fact that the ride needed to have Doctor Facilier tho. He’s one of my favourite villains, and that’s song is top notch, and the lift hill would have been great with “Are You Ready.” Blasting over the speakers. But if they really wanted the ride to take place after the film, shoehorning him in would have made no sense at all. So as much as I would have liked to see it, his absence doesn’t bother me that much. But even without him they could have done better with the lift hill part, even just a few more animatronics or screen’s, something. I think the finale scene after the drop is pretty much perfect, so no thoughts on that.
Anyways, overall, just by the video, I’ll give it an 8/10. I don’t personally think it’s better nor worse than splash mountain, which depending on who you talk to could be a bad thing, good thing, or glass half full situation.
I do think a lot of the fans are just gonna look at it through the lens of: “It replaced Splash Mountain.” Which isn’t a bad thing, but I don’t think that’s fair on the ride itself. It was made by imagineers with a different vision.
Like I said before tho. Take this opinion, like any other opinion the ride will get, with a grain of salt. You hate it to the ends of the earth? That’s fine! You adore it? That’s fine. You don’t love nor hate it, that’s fine too!
Have a good day everyone! Can’t wait to ride it myself, looks like a lot fun.
P.S. I posted this in the WDW subreddit and every post I’ve made recently has been removed. Then the post I made to ask about that was removed as well. Has anyone else in the same subreddit had this problem?
2024.06.02 07:19 Sustxrd Love Your Neighbor This Pride Month. (even when you disagree)
As its pride month, I want to do some condemnation against the hate against lgbtq people that I find on this site. I find it sad that everyone who hears that some Christian’s disagree with the morality of a gay lifestyle as our personal belief, they instantly say we hate them. Since when is it hateful to not believe others peoples opinions, and to just choose to not affirm their lifestyle? I personally disagree that a gay lifestyle is posited as a good thing in the Bible, in fact, I, and a lot of very solid, loving Christian’s believe the same way. However, I have gay friends. I don’t agree with them, and I pray that they’ll change their lifestyle, but I love them, and wish only the best for them as my brothers in Christ. It makes me truly sad when people call our beliefs hateful, when all we do is disagree, instead of being loving, like the Bible calls us to do. For the Christian’s who actually indulge in hatefulness and malicious acts against lgbtq, I condemn them instantly. Just because I think that a homosexual lifestyle is a sin, doesn’t me we should be hateful. Jesus said let the person without sin cast the first stone against the woman caught in adultery, and no one could do it. I think that we as sinful people shouldn’t be violent or hateful, we should love our neighbor as ourself, even when they sin. Please understand that I only love my brothers and sisters, even though I don’t love the sin. I want to spur you all to share love to everyone, even lgbtq members, even if you disagree. Affirmation is different from love though, so to feel forced to say their lifestyle is right, is not in the Bible.
Feel free to disagree with me, but let’s just not be hateful.
submitted by Sustxrd to Christianity [link] [comments]
Feel free to disagree with me, but let’s just not be hateful.
2024.06.02 07:12 MembershipVarious337 i’m having a hard time with doubt even though i feel i’ve made the right decision
this is going to be long. i don’t think i can capture the whole situation without some backstory. i’m doing my best to keep it brief.
let me start off by saying that my mom was a teen mom and i (23) am the oldest of her children. my biological father is not in the picture and he hasn’t been since i was very young. my mom always encouraged me to be comfortable in having no contact with him despite the fact that he was my father. if he treated me poorly, i shouldn’t have to put up with him. my mom married again, i got a younger sister out of that, and she divorced that man and is now with a man that is the father of none of her children. he has three kids of his own that he has always blatantly valued more than us. he always considered us ‘bad’ kids. especially my brother as he was the only boy in the house. this is no secret. its something we’ve brought to my mom’s attention ever since they met. something she even used to acknowledge. they’ve been together several years, probably since i was around 8 years old.
i’m from the south and they’re very classic conservative. as a kid i had a real problem with their homophobia before i even realized that i was queer. we used to get into horrible screaming matches over the things they said because at the time, they didn’t know they were saying these things about me. i think that’s the reason so much of the nasty things they said stuck with me for so many years.
fast forward to 2019. i moved with my boyfriend (who i feel it’s important to the story to mention is trans, but had not yet begun the process of transitioning when we first met so he was not out to my mother) she saw us as lesbians. i think this upset her because before i met my current boyfriend, i had been with a cis man.
in 2020, i lived with my boyfriend as well as his parents. they are much more open minded than my family. when covid came around my mom was quick to deny it. and that was not surprising to me in the slightest, it didn’t even really phase me. i didn’t act any different toward her, i just remember feeling lucky not to live there at the time because i was considered high risk. i also lived in an area of mainly people over 60. i do not want this to turn into a covid debate, but i feel that it’s crucial to what happened.
in november of 2020, i felt comfortable enough to visit her. we talked on the phone about it for months leading up to the visit and she made it very clear that she and the rest of my family that lived in her house had no problem wearing a mask for the few months leading up to my visit. this was really important to me as my step dad is a cop. he interacts very closely with people every day.
so when we visited, my mom had planned for all of us (myself, my boyfriend, my mom, my step dad, my younger sister, her friend, my older step sister, her husband, her toddler, and her newborn) to cram into a van together and go look at drive through christmas lights. we wouldn’t all fit legally in the same car and the lights were kind of a drive away, so my boyfriend had driven my mom’s car and my mom had driven the van. we stopped at a gas station close to our destination in order to pile into the van.
that’s when my step father and step sister went into the gas station without wearing masks. i felt lied to and disrespected by my mom so i admit that i was upset and probably wasn’t using the kindest tone, but this is not something i would ever cut contact over. i didn’t even want to argue about it.
i expressed that i was no longer comfortable cramming into a car with all of them after i’d discovered they had not been taking my concerns seriously. my boyfriend and i were going to drive my mother’s car back home and the rest of the group would continue on to see the lights. my mom was pissed off, but it wasn’t like her normal pissed off. i assumed it was because this was the first conflict we’d had since i moved out. still, i was sure she’d get over it.
the real problem started when my younger sister also expressed that she didn’t want to go. but her reason was vastly different from mine. she didn’t know that she would be forced to sit next to my older step sister’s husband (we’ll call him brad).
brad is not a nice person. he has a history of having sexually explicit conversations with minors. my entire family is aware of this, and he was still allowed to live in my mom’s house for almost a year. my younger sister once woke up from a nap on the couch to him standing over her. when he realized she was awake he just walked away without saying anything. he was eventually kicked out of my mom’s house because he masturbated in her dining room while my younger sister was in the kitchen. my older step sister caught him on camera doing this. they are still married now.
my younger sister expressed that she didn’t feel comfortable sitting so close to brad in the car. it caused a massive fight in the parking lot of this gas station. it ended with my step father trying to physically drag her out of the car. he was not successful, but my mom was so pissed off by this point that she decided to cancel the plans entirely and drive her car home with all of us in it. she drove like a maniac the entire hour home.
when we got back to her house, i immediately ran to gather my belongings. i intended to take my sister to our grandma’s house. i believed that what my step father had done to her was not acceptable. as i stomped into the room i was staying in i yelled to my mom that she was acting like a crazy fucking bitch. seems inconsequential but trust me it’s important.
i was in the bedroom gathering up my things when i heard my little sister saying “get off of me! get away!” i panicked and ran into the living room. i assumed she had been yelling at my step father so i was surprised when he caught me at the door and shoved me against the wall. their living room has a half wall, so i couldn’t see my sister. i panicked and struggled against my step father. i broke away from him once but he pushed me back again. he held me there until my boyfriend came out and physically put himself between us.
when i got away from him, i ran to my sister. her neck was red like someone had been grabbing it. i asked her what HE did to her. i still assumed it had been my step father. my sister just looked at me like she didn’t know what to say.
my mom was still standing there, just staring at us. i grabbed her shoulders and yelled that she was going to have to wake up and realize what was happening if she wanted to ever have a real relationship with any of us. she said “take your hands off of me.” and i did. i took my sister’s bag and grabbed her hand and walked toward the front door. my mom blocked us. she said she would call the police on me for kidnapping if i took my sister. my sister stood there and begged me not to leave her. how could i?
my mom had my sister’s phone and refused to give it back to her. we ended up just leaving it. i took my sister and we went to stay the night with my grandma. in the car, my sister told me it had been my mom who she was yelling at. my mom choked her into the couch because my sister had insisted that she was leaving.
the next day my sister’s biological father (who she lived with at the time) picked her up from our grandma’s and i went back home early with my boyfriend.
despite the fact that she let us stay with her, my grandma was not on our side. she was of the opinion that we should’ve just done as we were told and none of this would’ve happened.
my sister’s dad took her back to my mom’s house and made her apologize. she got her stuff back after that.
now four years have passed since then. my mom and i slowly started to communicate again but it has only been at a surface level ever since. i knew we couldn’t talk about such an intense topic without being in person. and it would feel wrong to bring it up on a visit. i moved back to my hometown last summer with the hope that i could really work out the issues between myself and my mom. my younger sister moved in with me when i moved back as she had graduated the same year.
we hadn’t really talked about what happened. i felt so bad for her having to continue to live in the environment that i didn’t want to ever bring it up. but now that we live on our own, it came up naturally. we both realized that we needed to talk to our mom about our problems in order to ever have a real connection.
so we did. we invited her over and did our best to talk things over. i knew my mom was not the best at taking criticism but i genuinely didn’t expect what played out.
i tried to bring up the things they said to me as a kid. things that made me feel wrong in my identity and made me feel like it would be easier for everyone if i just disappeared. she denies ever saying anything negative about gay people ever. she says that she has never ever said anything worse about gay people than that she doesn’t agree with them. that was definitely not all. just before i moved out i expressed to my step dad that he’d traumatized me with all of his anti-gay rhetoric. constantly calling me a faggot. dumb shit like that. his response was “obviously not enough.”
then i brought up how badly she hurt me that day. how i felt she’d chosen her husband over her children again. i couldn’t understand why she would think that choking my sister was okay. or her husband pinning me against the wall was okay. and then she told me it was because i was ‘charging into the room’ to beat her up.
i have never in all my years ever laid a finger on my mother. i adapted to that household by being agreeable and doing what i was told. the only time i ever stepped out of line was when it came to human rights. i was young and naive and i thought that if i could just say the right words i could make them understand. so those were the battles i chose in my childhood. i NEVER once threatened or even thought of hurting my mom.
she claims that when i heard my sister calling for help, i charged into the living room screaming at my mom. she claims THAT is when i called her a crazy fucking bitch.
i was quick to reassure her that i never ever wanted to hurt her. that it wasn’t even a thought in my head. that i hadn’t even known that SHE was the one doing anything to my sister. that i hadn’t even made it two feet into the living room before my step dad threw me back.
she doesn’t believe me.
she just says that it’s not about what she believes, it’s about what she witnessed. that she witnessed me planning to hurt her.
i know that i am not that kind of person. and i am not comfortable being around someone who would accuse me of such violence.
i explained my side of the story again and again and her only response was “no, no, no.”
my sister expressed that she felt it was wrong mom had choked her. my mom said that it was my sister’s fault because she wouldn’t “stop running her mouth” and refused to “sit her monkey ass down”
she ran out of the house shortly after this. we didn’t get to finish talking about much. i went into the bathroom to finish my panic attack alone and she called me. she said on the phone that if we were to talk, i would have to stop accusing her of things. to me, it seemed that she was accusing me of trying to hurt her. even in the face of being told it simply wasn’t true. i couldn’t articulate that point very well in the moment, though.
on this phone call she also said “you’re not going to tell me i have problems. you think YOU don’t have problems?” and i told her that i know i have problems that im just able to acknowledge that without lashing out. i told her that i hope one day she sees what i mean but i just can’t keep putting myself through this. i told her i loved her and then i hung up.
my mom also texted me that night in 2020 when everything happened. she said she felt wronged because i had called her such a horrible name. and i apologized then and there for calling her a crazy fucking bitch. her response was that she didn’t feel she had anything to apologize for herself. she has never said anything about feeling threatened by me until we confronted her a few days ago.
how can i deal with this when my entire family (aside from my younger sister) has normalized abuse? how can i move on without feeling like everything i did was wrong? im very firm in my story, i even have journal entries from the day it happened. therapy sessions. texts to my boyfriend’s dad from 30 minutes after everything happened. my story has never once changed and has never once hinged on what i THOUGHT might happen.
not only am i firm in my story but i am firm in my opinion that their actions are unjustified. especially toward my little sister. i just can’t shake the doubt. i don’t know if it’s the small part of me that still holds onto everything they instilled in me or what. i was just hoping for some advice i suppose. thank you for reading all of this.
submitted by MembershipVarious337 to nocontact [link] [comments]
let me start off by saying that my mom was a teen mom and i (23) am the oldest of her children. my biological father is not in the picture and he hasn’t been since i was very young. my mom always encouraged me to be comfortable in having no contact with him despite the fact that he was my father. if he treated me poorly, i shouldn’t have to put up with him. my mom married again, i got a younger sister out of that, and she divorced that man and is now with a man that is the father of none of her children. he has three kids of his own that he has always blatantly valued more than us. he always considered us ‘bad’ kids. especially my brother as he was the only boy in the house. this is no secret. its something we’ve brought to my mom’s attention ever since they met. something she even used to acknowledge. they’ve been together several years, probably since i was around 8 years old.
i’m from the south and they’re very classic conservative. as a kid i had a real problem with their homophobia before i even realized that i was queer. we used to get into horrible screaming matches over the things they said because at the time, they didn’t know they were saying these things about me. i think that’s the reason so much of the nasty things they said stuck with me for so many years.
fast forward to 2019. i moved with my boyfriend (who i feel it’s important to the story to mention is trans, but had not yet begun the process of transitioning when we first met so he was not out to my mother) she saw us as lesbians. i think this upset her because before i met my current boyfriend, i had been with a cis man.
in 2020, i lived with my boyfriend as well as his parents. they are much more open minded than my family. when covid came around my mom was quick to deny it. and that was not surprising to me in the slightest, it didn’t even really phase me. i didn’t act any different toward her, i just remember feeling lucky not to live there at the time because i was considered high risk. i also lived in an area of mainly people over 60. i do not want this to turn into a covid debate, but i feel that it’s crucial to what happened.
in november of 2020, i felt comfortable enough to visit her. we talked on the phone about it for months leading up to the visit and she made it very clear that she and the rest of my family that lived in her house had no problem wearing a mask for the few months leading up to my visit. this was really important to me as my step dad is a cop. he interacts very closely with people every day.
so when we visited, my mom had planned for all of us (myself, my boyfriend, my mom, my step dad, my younger sister, her friend, my older step sister, her husband, her toddler, and her newborn) to cram into a van together and go look at drive through christmas lights. we wouldn’t all fit legally in the same car and the lights were kind of a drive away, so my boyfriend had driven my mom’s car and my mom had driven the van. we stopped at a gas station close to our destination in order to pile into the van.
that’s when my step father and step sister went into the gas station without wearing masks. i felt lied to and disrespected by my mom so i admit that i was upset and probably wasn’t using the kindest tone, but this is not something i would ever cut contact over. i didn’t even want to argue about it.
i expressed that i was no longer comfortable cramming into a car with all of them after i’d discovered they had not been taking my concerns seriously. my boyfriend and i were going to drive my mother’s car back home and the rest of the group would continue on to see the lights. my mom was pissed off, but it wasn’t like her normal pissed off. i assumed it was because this was the first conflict we’d had since i moved out. still, i was sure she’d get over it.
the real problem started when my younger sister also expressed that she didn’t want to go. but her reason was vastly different from mine. she didn’t know that she would be forced to sit next to my older step sister’s husband (we’ll call him brad).
brad is not a nice person. he has a history of having sexually explicit conversations with minors. my entire family is aware of this, and he was still allowed to live in my mom’s house for almost a year. my younger sister once woke up from a nap on the couch to him standing over her. when he realized she was awake he just walked away without saying anything. he was eventually kicked out of my mom’s house because he masturbated in her dining room while my younger sister was in the kitchen. my older step sister caught him on camera doing this. they are still married now.
my younger sister expressed that she didn’t feel comfortable sitting so close to brad in the car. it caused a massive fight in the parking lot of this gas station. it ended with my step father trying to physically drag her out of the car. he was not successful, but my mom was so pissed off by this point that she decided to cancel the plans entirely and drive her car home with all of us in it. she drove like a maniac the entire hour home.
when we got back to her house, i immediately ran to gather my belongings. i intended to take my sister to our grandma’s house. i believed that what my step father had done to her was not acceptable. as i stomped into the room i was staying in i yelled to my mom that she was acting like a crazy fucking bitch. seems inconsequential but trust me it’s important.
i was in the bedroom gathering up my things when i heard my little sister saying “get off of me! get away!” i panicked and ran into the living room. i assumed she had been yelling at my step father so i was surprised when he caught me at the door and shoved me against the wall. their living room has a half wall, so i couldn’t see my sister. i panicked and struggled against my step father. i broke away from him once but he pushed me back again. he held me there until my boyfriend came out and physically put himself between us.
when i got away from him, i ran to my sister. her neck was red like someone had been grabbing it. i asked her what HE did to her. i still assumed it had been my step father. my sister just looked at me like she didn’t know what to say.
my mom was still standing there, just staring at us. i grabbed her shoulders and yelled that she was going to have to wake up and realize what was happening if she wanted to ever have a real relationship with any of us. she said “take your hands off of me.” and i did. i took my sister’s bag and grabbed her hand and walked toward the front door. my mom blocked us. she said she would call the police on me for kidnapping if i took my sister. my sister stood there and begged me not to leave her. how could i?
my mom had my sister’s phone and refused to give it back to her. we ended up just leaving it. i took my sister and we went to stay the night with my grandma. in the car, my sister told me it had been my mom who she was yelling at. my mom choked her into the couch because my sister had insisted that she was leaving.
the next day my sister’s biological father (who she lived with at the time) picked her up from our grandma’s and i went back home early with my boyfriend.
despite the fact that she let us stay with her, my grandma was not on our side. she was of the opinion that we should’ve just done as we were told and none of this would’ve happened.
my sister’s dad took her back to my mom’s house and made her apologize. she got her stuff back after that.
now four years have passed since then. my mom and i slowly started to communicate again but it has only been at a surface level ever since. i knew we couldn’t talk about such an intense topic without being in person. and it would feel wrong to bring it up on a visit. i moved back to my hometown last summer with the hope that i could really work out the issues between myself and my mom. my younger sister moved in with me when i moved back as she had graduated the same year.
we hadn’t really talked about what happened. i felt so bad for her having to continue to live in the environment that i didn’t want to ever bring it up. but now that we live on our own, it came up naturally. we both realized that we needed to talk to our mom about our problems in order to ever have a real connection.
so we did. we invited her over and did our best to talk things over. i knew my mom was not the best at taking criticism but i genuinely didn’t expect what played out.
i tried to bring up the things they said to me as a kid. things that made me feel wrong in my identity and made me feel like it would be easier for everyone if i just disappeared. she denies ever saying anything negative about gay people ever. she says that she has never ever said anything worse about gay people than that she doesn’t agree with them. that was definitely not all. just before i moved out i expressed to my step dad that he’d traumatized me with all of his anti-gay rhetoric. constantly calling me a faggot. dumb shit like that. his response was “obviously not enough.”
then i brought up how badly she hurt me that day. how i felt she’d chosen her husband over her children again. i couldn’t understand why she would think that choking my sister was okay. or her husband pinning me against the wall was okay. and then she told me it was because i was ‘charging into the room’ to beat her up.
i have never in all my years ever laid a finger on my mother. i adapted to that household by being agreeable and doing what i was told. the only time i ever stepped out of line was when it came to human rights. i was young and naive and i thought that if i could just say the right words i could make them understand. so those were the battles i chose in my childhood. i NEVER once threatened or even thought of hurting my mom.
she claims that when i heard my sister calling for help, i charged into the living room screaming at my mom. she claims THAT is when i called her a crazy fucking bitch.
i was quick to reassure her that i never ever wanted to hurt her. that it wasn’t even a thought in my head. that i hadn’t even known that SHE was the one doing anything to my sister. that i hadn’t even made it two feet into the living room before my step dad threw me back.
she doesn’t believe me.
she just says that it’s not about what she believes, it’s about what she witnessed. that she witnessed me planning to hurt her.
i know that i am not that kind of person. and i am not comfortable being around someone who would accuse me of such violence.
i explained my side of the story again and again and her only response was “no, no, no.”
my sister expressed that she felt it was wrong mom had choked her. my mom said that it was my sister’s fault because she wouldn’t “stop running her mouth” and refused to “sit her monkey ass down”
she ran out of the house shortly after this. we didn’t get to finish talking about much. i went into the bathroom to finish my panic attack alone and she called me. she said on the phone that if we were to talk, i would have to stop accusing her of things. to me, it seemed that she was accusing me of trying to hurt her. even in the face of being told it simply wasn’t true. i couldn’t articulate that point very well in the moment, though.
on this phone call she also said “you’re not going to tell me i have problems. you think YOU don’t have problems?” and i told her that i know i have problems that im just able to acknowledge that without lashing out. i told her that i hope one day she sees what i mean but i just can’t keep putting myself through this. i told her i loved her and then i hung up.
my mom also texted me that night in 2020 when everything happened. she said she felt wronged because i had called her such a horrible name. and i apologized then and there for calling her a crazy fucking bitch. her response was that she didn’t feel she had anything to apologize for herself. she has never said anything about feeling threatened by me until we confronted her a few days ago.
how can i deal with this when my entire family (aside from my younger sister) has normalized abuse? how can i move on without feeling like everything i did was wrong? im very firm in my story, i even have journal entries from the day it happened. therapy sessions. texts to my boyfriend’s dad from 30 minutes after everything happened. my story has never once changed and has never once hinged on what i THOUGHT might happen.
not only am i firm in my story but i am firm in my opinion that their actions are unjustified. especially toward my little sister. i just can’t shake the doubt. i don’t know if it’s the small part of me that still holds onto everything they instilled in me or what. i was just hoping for some advice i suppose. thank you for reading all of this.
2024.06.02 07:11 apexjaggi A More Constructive Critique of the Drake Talisman Map Theory
TL;DR Don't be rude when theorizing or critiquing people's theories, paragraphs 5-8 have the meat of the stuff I want to say that I haven't seen posted elsewhere so just read those if the whole thing's too long.
I'm sure everyone is tired of reading these posts but this has been sort of gnawing at me all day so I thought I would get it out of my system. I personally find the theory that the dragon depicted in the haligdrake talisman is a map of what the Lands Between may have looked like in the past extremely unconvincing and I'm going to dedicate way too much text to explaining why (no pictures tho cuz i'm lazy).
Earlier today, there was a post that attempted to explain why the theory was unconvincing, but I think OP there didn't do a very good job of responding to people's points, and IMO was also very rude to everyone in the comments. I feel like this may have psychologically made people feel somewhat more prone to defend what I believe is an unconvincing theory, so I'm aiming to do a more thorough and also less obnoxious job of saying why I'm not convinced.
The previous poster stated that the haligdrake talisman could not be depicting a map because it's "just a dragon" and doesn't look anything like TLB. This fails to meaningfully refute the theory in any way because the viewpoint of this theory's supporters is not that the talisman isn't a dragon, but that it is a dragon and a map at once, and that the map is of a past depiction of TLB, a landmass we know has undergone drastic changes over time from mountains of different in-game evidence. Therefore, the theory is stating that one possible past version of the ever-changing lands-between looked like a dragon, and that the talisman is depicting this. If I'm doing a flawed job portraying the theory let me know because I'm trying my best not to strawman here. I want to have an actual good-faith discussion unlike some on this sub.
This is where my issues with the theory crop up. My first issue is that this theory is impossible to disprove. We know that TLB looked different in the past for a variety of reasons (meteorites, blackstone, farum azula, eternal city banishment, etc.) but since the game takes place at a specific point in time and we don't go back in time except to fight placidusax (which doesn't effect our in-game map), we have no examples of what TLB looked like in the past from a cartographic standpoint (except the map in the theory of course). Because the landmass has changed numerous times and we do not know what any of these times looked like, literally anything could be pointed to and called a former map of TLB if it looks even vaguely map-like. So yes, I am admitting that I cannot disprove that TLB could have looked like a dragon in the past because there are an infinite number of things it could have looked like. However, just because it's possible that the map looked like that is not itself evidence that it did. I think this is a perfectly acceptable headcanon, it's admittedly pretty cool, but it's not something that I think makes sense to claim as a fact.
This is where I would expect someone to say that the talisman being a map is the proof that it looked that way, and I think that's a fairly reasonable response. However, this is where my second issue appears, and it's that there is very little to suggest that these talismans represent a map at all other than vaguely looking like one. I can genuinely see why people say it's a map, since it does kind of look like one, and people have pointed out similarities that are interesting, but I don't find this to be compelling evidence. It is very easy to look at two things and find similarities if you are looking for them. Many things I've seen on this sub pointing out similarities completely ignore the stuff that doesn't match and try to account for it with the impossible to disprove statement of "it's in the past and TLB in the past could be anything". This is not really my main point against it being a map, however. My main point is that if the talisman were depicting a map, why does the item description not make any indication that that is the case? The item description for the haligdrake talisman is as follows:
"Talisman depicting a golden ancient dragon. Boosts holy damage negation. The ancient dragons, who ruled in the prehistoric era before the Erdtree, would protect their lord as a wall of living rock. And so it is that the shape of the dragon has become symbolic of all manner of protections."
A couple things to notice here are the complete lack of reference to maps of any kind, the fact that the dragon depiction is specifically symbolic of something other than a map, being protection (obviously something can symbolize more than one thing but I think it would warrant mentioning), and that the dragons protect their lord as "a wall of living rock."
A lot of the basis for the map theory comes from the talisman looking like it has coastlines, and that's understandable. However, in my mind a simpler explanation is that these supposed coastlines are actually depicting the stony, wall-like nature of the dragons that the talisman's description mentions. This would mean that the strangely flat map completely missing any kind of variance in elevation except coastlines is actually a just a stylized depiction of a dragon, meant to more clearly get across its stony nature while still being a different color than the dragons' typical stone-grey (since it's gotta get across the point that it negates holy damage). This applies to all the other elemental versions of the drake talismans as well.
As an aside, the ones besides the haligdrake talisman have elemental effects that pretty significantly obscure the supposed map that Miyazaki wants us to see, which to me seems strange because if it were actually a map you would think it would be clearly visible on all of the drake talismans and not just the one. Additionally, the pearldrake talisman has more smooth "coastlines" that don't make a ton of sense if all these talismans are supposed to be the same map AND if it's a map, why would someone in universe decide to put three of the same map on the +1 and +2 talismans, or even put a map on a talisman in the first place, instead of on paper where a map typically is (I'm sure there are maps on things other than papescreens irl, but it's not typical and i'm mostly spitballing for this part).
These are essentially the reasons why I don't think the drake talismans are depicting a map of TLB during the age of the ancient dragons, but I want to add one more quick thing. If I'm completely wrong (totally possible) and these actually are depicting a map, what does that add to the story? We already know TLB changes physically through the ages as tons of much less obscure evidence in the game tells us. The giant skeletons, the eternal cities, the blackstone civilization, the giant crater in the center of the map, and the apparent missing caelid/mountaintops land bridge already serve to give the player a sense of TLB's vast history and tumultuous state of physical being in a much more tangible and evocative way than a single talisman that vaguely looks like a map ever could. If the devs wanted to add another element to this they certainly could to further expand that feeling, but why do it in such an obscure way that there has to be so much argument about whether the evidence in question even exists in the first place? It is my opinion that any good theory for this game should be able to place itself in the context of one's reading of the game as a whole. If a theory doesn't add anything to the story, what's interesting about it in the first place? This is where I'm most looking for some opposing opinions though, since I genuinely haven't found anything where someone places this in the broader context of the story in a compelling way imo.
Hope I did a decent job of not being rude (sorry if I didn't, I dislike this theory quite a bit and am trying to be nice about it), and hopefully some decent discussion can come from this and not more flame-warring. A lot of arguments against this theory kind of amounted to "you're wrong because i said so" and i thought that was lame and wanted to try and make an argument against it in actual good faith instead of blind rage lol.
submitted by apexjaggi to EldenRingLoreTalk [link] [comments]
I'm sure everyone is tired of reading these posts but this has been sort of gnawing at me all day so I thought I would get it out of my system. I personally find the theory that the dragon depicted in the haligdrake talisman is a map of what the Lands Between may have looked like in the past extremely unconvincing and I'm going to dedicate way too much text to explaining why (no pictures tho cuz i'm lazy).
Earlier today, there was a post that attempted to explain why the theory was unconvincing, but I think OP there didn't do a very good job of responding to people's points, and IMO was also very rude to everyone in the comments. I feel like this may have psychologically made people feel somewhat more prone to defend what I believe is an unconvincing theory, so I'm aiming to do a more thorough and also less obnoxious job of saying why I'm not convinced.
The previous poster stated that the haligdrake talisman could not be depicting a map because it's "just a dragon" and doesn't look anything like TLB. This fails to meaningfully refute the theory in any way because the viewpoint of this theory's supporters is not that the talisman isn't a dragon, but that it is a dragon and a map at once, and that the map is of a past depiction of TLB, a landmass we know has undergone drastic changes over time from mountains of different in-game evidence. Therefore, the theory is stating that one possible past version of the ever-changing lands-between looked like a dragon, and that the talisman is depicting this. If I'm doing a flawed job portraying the theory let me know because I'm trying my best not to strawman here. I want to have an actual good-faith discussion unlike some on this sub.
This is where my issues with the theory crop up. My first issue is that this theory is impossible to disprove. We know that TLB looked different in the past for a variety of reasons (meteorites, blackstone, farum azula, eternal city banishment, etc.) but since the game takes place at a specific point in time and we don't go back in time except to fight placidusax (which doesn't effect our in-game map), we have no examples of what TLB looked like in the past from a cartographic standpoint (except the map in the theory of course). Because the landmass has changed numerous times and we do not know what any of these times looked like, literally anything could be pointed to and called a former map of TLB if it looks even vaguely map-like. So yes, I am admitting that I cannot disprove that TLB could have looked like a dragon in the past because there are an infinite number of things it could have looked like. However, just because it's possible that the map looked like that is not itself evidence that it did. I think this is a perfectly acceptable headcanon, it's admittedly pretty cool, but it's not something that I think makes sense to claim as a fact.
This is where I would expect someone to say that the talisman being a map is the proof that it looked that way, and I think that's a fairly reasonable response. However, this is where my second issue appears, and it's that there is very little to suggest that these talismans represent a map at all other than vaguely looking like one. I can genuinely see why people say it's a map, since it does kind of look like one, and people have pointed out similarities that are interesting, but I don't find this to be compelling evidence. It is very easy to look at two things and find similarities if you are looking for them. Many things I've seen on this sub pointing out similarities completely ignore the stuff that doesn't match and try to account for it with the impossible to disprove statement of "it's in the past and TLB in the past could be anything". This is not really my main point against it being a map, however. My main point is that if the talisman were depicting a map, why does the item description not make any indication that that is the case? The item description for the haligdrake talisman is as follows:
"Talisman depicting a golden ancient dragon. Boosts holy damage negation. The ancient dragons, who ruled in the prehistoric era before the Erdtree, would protect their lord as a wall of living rock. And so it is that the shape of the dragon has become symbolic of all manner of protections."
A couple things to notice here are the complete lack of reference to maps of any kind, the fact that the dragon depiction is specifically symbolic of something other than a map, being protection (obviously something can symbolize more than one thing but I think it would warrant mentioning), and that the dragons protect their lord as "a wall of living rock."
A lot of the basis for the map theory comes from the talisman looking like it has coastlines, and that's understandable. However, in my mind a simpler explanation is that these supposed coastlines are actually depicting the stony, wall-like nature of the dragons that the talisman's description mentions. This would mean that the strangely flat map completely missing any kind of variance in elevation except coastlines is actually a just a stylized depiction of a dragon, meant to more clearly get across its stony nature while still being a different color than the dragons' typical stone-grey (since it's gotta get across the point that it negates holy damage). This applies to all the other elemental versions of the drake talismans as well.
As an aside, the ones besides the haligdrake talisman have elemental effects that pretty significantly obscure the supposed map that Miyazaki wants us to see, which to me seems strange because if it were actually a map you would think it would be clearly visible on all of the drake talismans and not just the one. Additionally, the pearldrake talisman has more smooth "coastlines" that don't make a ton of sense if all these talismans are supposed to be the same map AND if it's a map, why would someone in universe decide to put three of the same map on the +1 and +2 talismans, or even put a map on a talisman in the first place, instead of on paper where a map typically is (I'm sure there are maps on things other than papescreens irl, but it's not typical and i'm mostly spitballing for this part).
These are essentially the reasons why I don't think the drake talismans are depicting a map of TLB during the age of the ancient dragons, but I want to add one more quick thing. If I'm completely wrong (totally possible) and these actually are depicting a map, what does that add to the story? We already know TLB changes physically through the ages as tons of much less obscure evidence in the game tells us. The giant skeletons, the eternal cities, the blackstone civilization, the giant crater in the center of the map, and the apparent missing caelid/mountaintops land bridge already serve to give the player a sense of TLB's vast history and tumultuous state of physical being in a much more tangible and evocative way than a single talisman that vaguely looks like a map ever could. If the devs wanted to add another element to this they certainly could to further expand that feeling, but why do it in such an obscure way that there has to be so much argument about whether the evidence in question even exists in the first place? It is my opinion that any good theory for this game should be able to place itself in the context of one's reading of the game as a whole. If a theory doesn't add anything to the story, what's interesting about it in the first place? This is where I'm most looking for some opposing opinions though, since I genuinely haven't found anything where someone places this in the broader context of the story in a compelling way imo.
Hope I did a decent job of not being rude (sorry if I didn't, I dislike this theory quite a bit and am trying to be nice about it), and hopefully some decent discussion can come from this and not more flame-warring. A lot of arguments against this theory kind of amounted to "you're wrong because i said so" and i thought that was lame and wanted to try and make an argument against it in actual good faith instead of blind rage lol.
2024.06.02 07:10 MembershipVarious337 i’m having a hard time with doubting myself even though i feel i’ve made the right decision.
this is going to be long. i don’t think i can capture the whole situation without some backstory. i’m doing my best to keep it brief.
let me start off by saying that my mom was a teen mom and i (23) am the oldest of her children. my biological father is not in the picture and he hasn’t been since i was very young. my mom always encouraged me to be comfortable in having no contact with him despite the fact that he was my father. if he treated me poorly, i shouldn’t have to put up with him. my mom married again, i got a younger sister out of that, and she divorced that man and is now with a man that is the father of none of her children. he has three kids of his own that he has always blatantly valued more than us. he always considered us ‘bad’ kids. especially my brother as he was the only boy in the house. this is no secret. its something we’ve brought to my mom’s attention ever since they met. something she even used to acknowledge. they’ve been together several years, probably since i was around 8 years old.
i’m from the south and they’re very classic conservative. as a kid i had a real problem with their homophobia before i even realized that i was queer. we used to get into horrible screaming matches over the things they said because at the time, they didn’t know they were saying these things about me. i think that’s the reason so much of the nasty things they said stuck with me for so many years.
fast forward to 2019. i moved with my boyfriend (who i feel it’s important to the story to mention is trans, but had not yet begun the process of transitioning when we first met so he was not out to my mother) she saw us as lesbians. i think this upset her because before i met my current boyfriend, i had been with a cis man.
in 2020, i lived with my boyfriend as well as his parents. they are much more open minded than my family. when covid came around my mom was quick to deny it. and that was not surprising to me in the slightest, it didn’t even really phase me. i didn’t act any different toward her, i just remember feeling lucky not to live there at the time because i was considered high risk. i also lived in an area of mainly people over 60. i do not want this to turn into a covid debate, but i feel that it’s crucial to what happened.
in november of 2020, i felt comfortable enough to visit her. we talked on the phone about it for months leading up to the visit and she made it very clear that she and the rest of my family that lived in her house had no problem wearing a mask for the few months leading up to my visit. this was really important to me as my step dad is a cop. he interacts very closely with people every day.
so when we visited, my mom had planned for all of us (myself, my boyfriend, my mom, my step dad, my younger sister, her friend, my older step sister, her husband, her toddler, and her newborn) to cram into a van together and go look at drive through christmas lights. we wouldn’t all fit legally in the same car and the lights were kind of a drive away, so my boyfriend had driven my mom’s car and my mom had driven the van. we stopped at a gas station close to our destination in order to pile into the van.
that’s when my step father and step sister went into the gas station without wearing masks. i felt lied to and disrespected by my mom so i admit that i was upset and probably wasn’t using the kindest tone, but this is not something i would ever cut contact over. i didn’t even want to argue about it.
i expressed that i was no longer comfortable cramming into a car with all of them after i’d discovered they had not been taking my concerns seriously. my boyfriend and i were going to drive my mother’s car back home and the rest of the group would continue on to see the lights. my mom was pissed off, but it wasn’t like her normal pissed off. i assumed it was because this was the first conflict we’d had since i moved out. still, i was sure she’d get over it.
the real problem started when my younger sister also expressed that she didn’t want to go. but her reason was vastly different from mine. she didn’t know that she would be forced to sit next to my older step sister’s husband (we’ll call him brad).
brad is not a nice person. he has a history of having sexually explicit conversations with minors. my entire family is aware of this, and he was still allowed to live in my mom’s house for almost a year. my younger sister once woke up from a nap on the couch to him standing over her. when he realized she was awake he just walked away without saying anything. he was eventually kicked out of my mom’s house because he masturbated in her dining room while my younger sister was in the kitchen. my older step sister caught him on camera doing this. they are still married now.
my younger sister expressed that she didn’t feel comfortable sitting so close to brad in the car. it caused a massive fight in the parking lot of this gas station. it ended with my step father trying to physically drag her out of the car. he was not successful, but my mom was so pissed off by this point that she decided to cancel the plans entirely and drive her car home with all of us in it. she drove like a maniac the entire hour home.
when we got back to her house, i immediately ran to gather my belongings. i intended to take my sister to our grandma’s house. i believed that what my step father had done to her was not acceptable. as i stomped into the room i was staying in i yelled to my mom that she was acting like a crazy fucking bitch. seems inconsequential but trust me it’s important.
i was in the bedroom gathering up my things when i heard my little sister saying “get off of me! get away!” i panicked and ran into the living room. i assumed she had been yelling at my step father so i was surprised when he caught me at the door and shoved me against the wall. their living room has a half wall, so i couldn’t see my sister. i panicked and struggled against my step father. i broke away from him once but he pushed me back again. he held me there until my boyfriend came out and physically put himself between us.
when i got away from him, i ran to my sister. her neck was red like someone had been grabbing it. i asked her what HE did to her. i still assumed it had been my step father. my sister just looked at me like she didn’t know what to say.
my mom was still standing there, just staring at us. i grabbed her shoulders and yelled that she was going to have to wake up and realize what was happening if she wanted to ever have a real relationship with any of us. she said “take your hands off of me.” and i did. i took my sister’s bag and grabbed her hand and walked toward the front door. my mom blocked us. she said she would call the police on me for kidnapping if i took my sister. my sister stood there and begged me not to leave her. how could i?
my mom had my sister’s phone and refused to give it back to her. we ended up just leaving it. i took my sister and we went to stay the night with my grandma. in the car, my sister told me it had been my mom who she was yelling at. my mom choked her into the couch because my sister had insisted that she was leaving.
the next day my sister’s biological father (who she lived with at the time) picked her up from our grandma’s and i went back home early with my boyfriend.
despite the fact that she let us stay with her, my grandma was not on our side. she was of the opinion that we should’ve just done as we were told and none of this would’ve happened.
my sister’s dad took her back to my mom’s house and made her apologize. she got her stuff back after that.
now four years have passed since then. my mom and i slowly started to communicate again but it has only been at a surface level ever since. i knew we couldn’t talk about such an intense topic without being in person. and it would feel wrong to bring it up on a visit. i moved back to my hometown last summer with the hope that i could really work out the issues between myself and my mom. my younger sister moved in with me when i moved back as she had graduated the same year.
we hadn’t really talked about what happened. i felt so bad for her having to continue to live in the environment that i didn’t want to ever bring it up. but now that we live on our own, it came up naturally. we both realized that we needed to talk to our mom about our problems in order to ever have a real connection.
so we did. we invited her over and did our best to talk things over. i knew my mom was not the best at taking criticism but i genuinely didn’t expect what played out.
i tried to bring up the things they said to me as a kid. things that made me feel wrong in my identity and made me feel like it would be easier for everyone if i just disappeared. she denies ever saying anything negative about gay people ever. she says that she has never ever said anything worse about gay people than that she doesn’t agree with them. that was definitely not all. just before i moved out i expressed to my step dad that he’d traumatized me with all of his anti-gay rhetoric. constantly calling me a faggot. dumb shit like that. his response was “obviously not enough.”
then i brought up how badly she hurt me that day. how i felt she’d chosen her husband over her children again. i couldn’t understand why she would think that choking my sister was okay. or her husband pinning me against the wall was okay. and then she told me it was because i was ‘charging into the room’ to beat her up.
i have never in all my years ever laid a finger on my mother. i adapted to that household by being agreeable and doing what i was told. the only time i ever stepped out of line was when it came to human rights. i was young and naive and i thought that if i could just say the right words i could make them understand. so those were the battles i chose in my childhood. i NEVER once threatened or even thought of hurting my mom.
she claims that when i heard my sister calling for help, i charged into the living room screaming at my mom. she claims THAT is when i called her a crazy fucking bitch.
i was quick to reassure her that i never ever wanted to hurt her. that it wasn’t even a thought in my head. that i hadn’t even known that SHE was the one doing anything to my sister. that i hadn’t even made it two feet into the living room before my step dad threw me back.
she doesn’t believe me.
she just says that it’s not about what she believes, it’s about what she witnessed. that she witnessed me planning to hurt her.
i know that i am not that kind of person. and i am not comfortable being around someone who would accuse me of such violence.
i explained my side of the story again and again and her only response was “no, no, no.”
my sister expressed that she felt it was wrong mom had choked her. my mom said that it was my sister’s fault because she wouldn’t “stop running her mouth” and refused to “sit her monkey ass down”
she ran out of the house shortly after this. we didn’t get to finish talking about much. i went into the bathroom to finish my panic attack alone and she called me. she said on the phone that if we were to talk, i would have to stop accusing her of things. to me, it seemed that she was accusing me of trying to hurt her. even in the face of being told it simply wasn’t true. i couldn’t articulate that point very well in the moment, though.
on this phone call she also said “you’re not going to tell me i have problems. you think YOU don’t have problems?” and i told her that i know i have problems that im just able to acknowledge that without lashing out. i told her that i hope one day she sees what i mean but i just can’t keep putting myself through this. i told her i loved her and then i hung up.
my mom also texted me that night in 2020 when everything happened. she said she felt wronged because i had called her such a horrible name. and i apologized then and there for calling her a crazy fucking bitch. her response was that she didn’t feel she had anything to apologize for herself. she has never said anything about feeling threatened by me until we confronted her a few days ago.
how can i deal with this when my entire family (aside from my younger sister) has normalized abuse? how can i move on without feeling like everything i did was wrong? im very firm in my story, i even have journal entries from the day it happened. therapy sessions. texts to my boyfriend’s dad from 30 minutes after everything happened. my story has never once changed and has never once hinged on what i THOUGHT might happen.
not only am i firm in my story but i am firm in my opinion that their actions are unjustified. especially toward my little sister. i just can’t shake the doubt. i don’t know if it’s the small part of me that still holds onto everything they instilled in me or what. i was just hoping for some advice i suppose. thank you for reading all of this.
submitted by MembershipVarious337 to Nocontactfamily [link] [comments]
let me start off by saying that my mom was a teen mom and i (23) am the oldest of her children. my biological father is not in the picture and he hasn’t been since i was very young. my mom always encouraged me to be comfortable in having no contact with him despite the fact that he was my father. if he treated me poorly, i shouldn’t have to put up with him. my mom married again, i got a younger sister out of that, and she divorced that man and is now with a man that is the father of none of her children. he has three kids of his own that he has always blatantly valued more than us. he always considered us ‘bad’ kids. especially my brother as he was the only boy in the house. this is no secret. its something we’ve brought to my mom’s attention ever since they met. something she even used to acknowledge. they’ve been together several years, probably since i was around 8 years old.
i’m from the south and they’re very classic conservative. as a kid i had a real problem with their homophobia before i even realized that i was queer. we used to get into horrible screaming matches over the things they said because at the time, they didn’t know they were saying these things about me. i think that’s the reason so much of the nasty things they said stuck with me for so many years.
fast forward to 2019. i moved with my boyfriend (who i feel it’s important to the story to mention is trans, but had not yet begun the process of transitioning when we first met so he was not out to my mother) she saw us as lesbians. i think this upset her because before i met my current boyfriend, i had been with a cis man.
in 2020, i lived with my boyfriend as well as his parents. they are much more open minded than my family. when covid came around my mom was quick to deny it. and that was not surprising to me in the slightest, it didn’t even really phase me. i didn’t act any different toward her, i just remember feeling lucky not to live there at the time because i was considered high risk. i also lived in an area of mainly people over 60. i do not want this to turn into a covid debate, but i feel that it’s crucial to what happened.
in november of 2020, i felt comfortable enough to visit her. we talked on the phone about it for months leading up to the visit and she made it very clear that she and the rest of my family that lived in her house had no problem wearing a mask for the few months leading up to my visit. this was really important to me as my step dad is a cop. he interacts very closely with people every day.
so when we visited, my mom had planned for all of us (myself, my boyfriend, my mom, my step dad, my younger sister, her friend, my older step sister, her husband, her toddler, and her newborn) to cram into a van together and go look at drive through christmas lights. we wouldn’t all fit legally in the same car and the lights were kind of a drive away, so my boyfriend had driven my mom’s car and my mom had driven the van. we stopped at a gas station close to our destination in order to pile into the van.
that’s when my step father and step sister went into the gas station without wearing masks. i felt lied to and disrespected by my mom so i admit that i was upset and probably wasn’t using the kindest tone, but this is not something i would ever cut contact over. i didn’t even want to argue about it.
i expressed that i was no longer comfortable cramming into a car with all of them after i’d discovered they had not been taking my concerns seriously. my boyfriend and i were going to drive my mother’s car back home and the rest of the group would continue on to see the lights. my mom was pissed off, but it wasn’t like her normal pissed off. i assumed it was because this was the first conflict we’d had since i moved out. still, i was sure she’d get over it.
the real problem started when my younger sister also expressed that she didn’t want to go. but her reason was vastly different from mine. she didn’t know that she would be forced to sit next to my older step sister’s husband (we’ll call him brad).
brad is not a nice person. he has a history of having sexually explicit conversations with minors. my entire family is aware of this, and he was still allowed to live in my mom’s house for almost a year. my younger sister once woke up from a nap on the couch to him standing over her. when he realized she was awake he just walked away without saying anything. he was eventually kicked out of my mom’s house because he masturbated in her dining room while my younger sister was in the kitchen. my older step sister caught him on camera doing this. they are still married now.
my younger sister expressed that she didn’t feel comfortable sitting so close to brad in the car. it caused a massive fight in the parking lot of this gas station. it ended with my step father trying to physically drag her out of the car. he was not successful, but my mom was so pissed off by this point that she decided to cancel the plans entirely and drive her car home with all of us in it. she drove like a maniac the entire hour home.
when we got back to her house, i immediately ran to gather my belongings. i intended to take my sister to our grandma’s house. i believed that what my step father had done to her was not acceptable. as i stomped into the room i was staying in i yelled to my mom that she was acting like a crazy fucking bitch. seems inconsequential but trust me it’s important.
i was in the bedroom gathering up my things when i heard my little sister saying “get off of me! get away!” i panicked and ran into the living room. i assumed she had been yelling at my step father so i was surprised when he caught me at the door and shoved me against the wall. their living room has a half wall, so i couldn’t see my sister. i panicked and struggled against my step father. i broke away from him once but he pushed me back again. he held me there until my boyfriend came out and physically put himself between us.
when i got away from him, i ran to my sister. her neck was red like someone had been grabbing it. i asked her what HE did to her. i still assumed it had been my step father. my sister just looked at me like she didn’t know what to say.
my mom was still standing there, just staring at us. i grabbed her shoulders and yelled that she was going to have to wake up and realize what was happening if she wanted to ever have a real relationship with any of us. she said “take your hands off of me.” and i did. i took my sister’s bag and grabbed her hand and walked toward the front door. my mom blocked us. she said she would call the police on me for kidnapping if i took my sister. my sister stood there and begged me not to leave her. how could i?
my mom had my sister’s phone and refused to give it back to her. we ended up just leaving it. i took my sister and we went to stay the night with my grandma. in the car, my sister told me it had been my mom who she was yelling at. my mom choked her into the couch because my sister had insisted that she was leaving.
the next day my sister’s biological father (who she lived with at the time) picked her up from our grandma’s and i went back home early with my boyfriend.
despite the fact that she let us stay with her, my grandma was not on our side. she was of the opinion that we should’ve just done as we were told and none of this would’ve happened.
my sister’s dad took her back to my mom’s house and made her apologize. she got her stuff back after that.
now four years have passed since then. my mom and i slowly started to communicate again but it has only been at a surface level ever since. i knew we couldn’t talk about such an intense topic without being in person. and it would feel wrong to bring it up on a visit. i moved back to my hometown last summer with the hope that i could really work out the issues between myself and my mom. my younger sister moved in with me when i moved back as she had graduated the same year.
we hadn’t really talked about what happened. i felt so bad for her having to continue to live in the environment that i didn’t want to ever bring it up. but now that we live on our own, it came up naturally. we both realized that we needed to talk to our mom about our problems in order to ever have a real connection.
so we did. we invited her over and did our best to talk things over. i knew my mom was not the best at taking criticism but i genuinely didn’t expect what played out.
i tried to bring up the things they said to me as a kid. things that made me feel wrong in my identity and made me feel like it would be easier for everyone if i just disappeared. she denies ever saying anything negative about gay people ever. she says that she has never ever said anything worse about gay people than that she doesn’t agree with them. that was definitely not all. just before i moved out i expressed to my step dad that he’d traumatized me with all of his anti-gay rhetoric. constantly calling me a faggot. dumb shit like that. his response was “obviously not enough.”
then i brought up how badly she hurt me that day. how i felt she’d chosen her husband over her children again. i couldn’t understand why she would think that choking my sister was okay. or her husband pinning me against the wall was okay. and then she told me it was because i was ‘charging into the room’ to beat her up.
i have never in all my years ever laid a finger on my mother. i adapted to that household by being agreeable and doing what i was told. the only time i ever stepped out of line was when it came to human rights. i was young and naive and i thought that if i could just say the right words i could make them understand. so those were the battles i chose in my childhood. i NEVER once threatened or even thought of hurting my mom.
she claims that when i heard my sister calling for help, i charged into the living room screaming at my mom. she claims THAT is when i called her a crazy fucking bitch.
i was quick to reassure her that i never ever wanted to hurt her. that it wasn’t even a thought in my head. that i hadn’t even known that SHE was the one doing anything to my sister. that i hadn’t even made it two feet into the living room before my step dad threw me back.
she doesn’t believe me.
she just says that it’s not about what she believes, it’s about what she witnessed. that she witnessed me planning to hurt her.
i know that i am not that kind of person. and i am not comfortable being around someone who would accuse me of such violence.
i explained my side of the story again and again and her only response was “no, no, no.”
my sister expressed that she felt it was wrong mom had choked her. my mom said that it was my sister’s fault because she wouldn’t “stop running her mouth” and refused to “sit her monkey ass down”
she ran out of the house shortly after this. we didn’t get to finish talking about much. i went into the bathroom to finish my panic attack alone and she called me. she said on the phone that if we were to talk, i would have to stop accusing her of things. to me, it seemed that she was accusing me of trying to hurt her. even in the face of being told it simply wasn’t true. i couldn’t articulate that point very well in the moment, though.
on this phone call she also said “you’re not going to tell me i have problems. you think YOU don’t have problems?” and i told her that i know i have problems that im just able to acknowledge that without lashing out. i told her that i hope one day she sees what i mean but i just can’t keep putting myself through this. i told her i loved her and then i hung up.
my mom also texted me that night in 2020 when everything happened. she said she felt wronged because i had called her such a horrible name. and i apologized then and there for calling her a crazy fucking bitch. her response was that she didn’t feel she had anything to apologize for herself. she has never said anything about feeling threatened by me until we confronted her a few days ago.
how can i deal with this when my entire family (aside from my younger sister) has normalized abuse? how can i move on without feeling like everything i did was wrong? im very firm in my story, i even have journal entries from the day it happened. therapy sessions. texts to my boyfriend’s dad from 30 minutes after everything happened. my story has never once changed and has never once hinged on what i THOUGHT might happen.
not only am i firm in my story but i am firm in my opinion that their actions are unjustified. especially toward my little sister. i just can’t shake the doubt. i don’t know if it’s the small part of me that still holds onto everything they instilled in me or what. i was just hoping for some advice i suppose. thank you for reading all of this.
2024.06.02 07:00 no_part_of_it Getting ready for a fast
Hi,
Just wondering what the opinion on honey is here.
I have done extended fasts in two different ways before.
One was with the maple syrup/cayenne/lemon water plan, with no limit or rules on how much of that I drink. Did that for thirty days with no problem.
The other was grape juice/lemon for a few weeks.
This time, I am trying to cut out anything resembling sugar, and am wondering if I can use honey to replace the maple syrup.
Has anyone done that with honey?
I'm not trying to lose weight specifically. I have done intermittent fasting for the better part of two years.
I am not a great health nut, just wondering what the people say here, just in case there is some odd side effect from fasting on honey/lemon water.
Thanks in advance.
submitted by no_part_of_it to fasting [link] [comments]
Just wondering what the opinion on honey is here.
I have done extended fasts in two different ways before.
One was with the maple syrup/cayenne/lemon water plan, with no limit or rules on how much of that I drink. Did that for thirty days with no problem.
The other was grape juice/lemon for a few weeks.
This time, I am trying to cut out anything resembling sugar, and am wondering if I can use honey to replace the maple syrup.
Has anyone done that with honey?
I'm not trying to lose weight specifically. I have done intermittent fasting for the better part of two years.
I am not a great health nut, just wondering what the people say here, just in case there is some odd side effect from fasting on honey/lemon water.
Thanks in advance.
2024.06.02 06:51 chocolatecauldrons Part II: The Anthology - An Analysis of Each Track
Thank you guys for all your nice comments on my previous post! Here's my followup post walking through the anthology - I apologize for the delay, but I wanted to sit with this half of the album a bit longer. This analysis will be slightly different: first I’ll go through themes present throughout the anthology, and then walk through each song individually, since it’s not as consecutive of a story as the first album. As with my first analysis, I tend to also stay away from literal details as proof that a song is about a certain subject or muse – to me, it’s easier to understand the album when you think first about what the song’s overarching meaning is, rather than getting caught up in literal details (and I think Taylor often throws these in as red herrings). Moreover, it’s important to note that it’s likely that the literal detail she’s thrown in is one that only she and the muse will understand (i.e. her referencing a lilac skirt in imgonnagetyouback is unlikely to be one we’ve ever seen her wearing in public, so it’s useless to paternity test based on that detail!).
Firstly, the word anthology means a collection of assorted literary works. As a result, I think there are more themes scattered through this album, and it’s meant to be a little harder to parse than the first one. I think this album is what TTPD would have been before it crystallized into a tighter theme – similar to the 3 AM tracks for Midnights, the majority of which were written prior to the standard edition’s tracks.
There are a few themes throughout this album. From a romantic context, to me, this album is primarily about Joe. I’ll walk through why I believe that, but this album feels less muddled to me in terms of its muses, and I think that is in part due to the fact that her self-described mania from the standard edition is not a theme on the anthology. This work also covers her own relationship to celebrity and fame, and how that affects her romantic relationships and her personal life in general. And finally, I think the final theme throughout this collection is the idea of childhood, of formative experiences, and how our author goes about processing events that happen to her.
The Black Dog
What happens when you intimately know someone, when you share every aspect of your life with someone, and then it's over? Six weeks after their breakup, she’s barely holding it together (“I move through the world with the heartbroken”). She even tried to rebound her pain away (“I took the miracle move on drug, the effects were temporary”), and wasn’t able to succeed. Meanwhile, she sees him go to a bar, and she has the sudden realization that he may be able to do what she failed to do – he might be able to move on, with someone new. Reckoning with that realization is horrifying. If he is able to pull it off, what does that mean about the love they shared? When he had told her for years that he was who he was for her, and her alone?
You said I needed a bravе man
Then proceeded to play him
Until I believed it too
And it kills me
How could they go from being so intimate that they shower together, that she’s aware of his every move, to being so distant from each other that she wonders if making her fall in love with him was a hazing? And the cruelest part of it is – she doesn’t want either one of them to be able to move on, and give validity to the fact that they weren’t right for each other, even though she knows they have to. Moreover, she’s already *tried* to move on at this point, and failed – she tried to manufacture a counterfeit version of their intimacy, but what if he’s able to perfectly replicate it? And to really drive in the knife, what if it’s with someone younger than her?
And you jump up, but she's too young to know this song
That was intertwined in the magic fabric of our dreaming
Given that a theme throughout the first album was her feeling like she’d given him so much of her youth, so much of her childbearing years, with nothing to show for it, what does it feel like to know that he can essentially reset time, by being with a younger woman, but she’ll never be able to get that time back?
imgonnagetyouback
We know that her and Joe took a break or two while they were together (see: Hits Different, The Great War, in addition to PR articles). To me, this song is about when you do take that break from your partner, and you’re trying to make a point to them that they’re not going to find anyone better than you (I can tell when somebody still wants me, come clean) – the two of you are too intimately intertwined to find a suitable replacement. You know what to wear, what to say, what to do to bring them back to you:
I, I hear thе whispers in your eyes
I'll make you wanna think twice
You'll find that you were never not mine
This song also has a lot of similarities to So Long, London, which is why I attribute it to Joe. To me, it provides a deeper story to some of the lines she touches on in So Long, London:
I didn't opt in to be your odd man out
I founded the club she's heard great things about
And to some of the lines in Hits Different:
I washed my hands of us at the club
You made a mess of me
I pictured you with other girls in love
Then threw up on the street
//
Bet I could still melt your world
Argumentative, antithetical dream girl
imgonnagetyouback is a story of one-upmanship – of trying to out-jealous your partner, of proving to them that nobody knows them better than you do. And maybe this time when they’re both playing this game, it works:
Push the reset button, we're becomin' something new
Say you got somebody, I'll say I got someone too
Even if it's handcuffed, I'm leavin' here with you
//
We broke all the pieces, but still wanna play the game (Oh)
Told my friends I hate you, but I love you just the same
Pick your poison, babe, I'm poison either way
The spacing to me is a deliberate red herring (the 1975 very famously made a song called fallingforyou), and a way to illustrate that the subject of the song wants space from her – but she’s not going to give it to him. This is another theme that calls back to Joe – in So Long, London, she describes him as constantly pulling away (Pulled him in tighter each time he was driftin' away). Matty didn’t pull away – he was all in for two weeks, until he chose to ghost her, and leave abruptly. There was no slow death, no push and pull to her relationship with Matty – it was a meteoric rise and fall.
The Albatross
This song feels like a sister song to “peace” – she describes what it’s like to love her. It’s a little more twisted, however, as she describes her love for her partner as both a danger, and a rescue from the danger she’s imposing on him by being involved with him:
Wise men once said
"Wild winds are death to the candle"
A rose by any other name is a scandal
Cautions issued, he stood
Shooting the messengers
They tried to warn him about her
She’s described herself as wind and liquor in her relationship with Joe previously, in Mastermind:
I'm the wind in our free-flowing sails
And the liquor in our cocktails
She has empathy for the narrator, but disdain for herself. There’s also acceptance though: she knows that she tried to prevent it, and tried to warn him about the danger she posed. In the end though, he chose this life with her, and he chose the danger – there’s only so much she can protect him from.
The devil that you know
Looks now more like an angel
I'm the life you chose
And all this terrible danger
Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus
This song feels like another sister song to The Black Dog – how does she cope with the idea that her long-time partner might move on? How does she cope with the fact that if she chooses to leave, she also chooses the future in which they both move on? A future in which they don’t know each other? It also touches on her wondering if she should move on with Matty, and how feasible it would be to know someone else instead of her partner:
If you want to tear my world apart
Just say you've always wondered
This song, more than anything else, illustrates that moving on with Matty was nothing but a way to move past Joe – what she really wants, more than anything, is a response greater than indifference from Joe:
As the decade would play us for fools
And you saw my bones out with somebody new
Who seemed like he would've bullied you in school
And you just watched it happen
There’s also the realization that Joe may never love who she is now – who she was at the beginning of their relationship will always be who he prefers:
If you want to break my cold, cold heart
Just say, 'I loved you the way that you were'
She’s trying desperately to find some way to make up for the fact that she had to leave Joe, that there was nothing she could do to stay – she tried changing everything about herself, but still, the need to leave him eventually caught up with her:
I changed into goddesses, villains and fools
Changed plans and lovers and outfits and rules
All to outrun my desertion of you
And you just watched it
And she wonders whether despite his indifference, and the distance between them, she should still stay:
Could it be enough to just float in your orbit
Can we watch our phantoms like watching wild horses
Cooler in theory but not if you force it
To be, it just didn't happen
But now, they are merely ghosts of who they once were – it’s not possible to force the relationship anymore.
How Did It End?
When a long-term relationship ends, you can point to the factors that led to its demise: a difference of opinions on money, on marriage, on children, and so forth. It is easy to determine the “what” and the “why” of an ending. But what is harder to diagnose is how you both became the versions of yourselves that weren’t on the same page, that were unable to discuss these topics, that couldn’t move past these dilemmas. That is much, much harder to pinpoint, and this is the question Taylor asks in this song. She knows what killed them:
We hereby conduct this post-mortem
He was a hot house flower to my outdoorsman
//
We were blind to unforeseen circumstances
We learn the right steps to different dances (ohh)
And fell victim to interlopers' glances
Lost the game of chance, what are the chances?
But what she still doesn't know is how it happened – how did it end? She also finds the empathy from the media and from the public to be false and selfish – they only want to know what happened to feverishly spread the news like wildfire.
Come one, come all
It's happenin' again
The empathetic hunger descends
We'll tell no one
Except all of our friends
We must know
How did it end?
//
Soon they'll go home to their husbands
Smug 'cause they know they can trust him
Then feverishly calling their cousins (ohh)
//
Say it once again with feeling
What the feeding frenzy wants more than anything is gossip, and they don’t care that she is utterly lost – lost as to why this happened, and lost physically and mentally:
Guess who we ran into at the shops?
Walking in circles like she was lost
How does she give an answer to quell the empathetic hunger, when she herself doesn’t understand exactly how it happened?
So High School
In an album that touches so much on feeling like she’s running out of time to have the future that she wants, and running out of youth to give the various men who come into her life, it is interesting and heartwarming that the song about Travis on the anthology is one that describes being with him as regaining her youth:
The brink of a wrinkle in time
Bittersweet sixteen suddenly
Moreover, another detail to note in this song is the difference in how she describes alcohol and drugs – in nearly every other song on TTPD, alcohol is a vice she uses in her moments of despair, and drugs are what her previous partners turn to in their moments of strife (she also describes the influence of drugs on her partners as something she detests – “sinking in stoned oblivion” and “you needed me but you needed drugs more”). With Travis, she’s not imbibing in any substances – instead, his thoughts and jokes are enough for her:
I'll drink what you think, and I'm high
From smoking your jokes all damn night
Travis is giving her back her youth, making sober promises, and the impression that we get is that they’re building this dreamlike reality together – it’s wholesome, all-American, and high-school-inspired, yet still grounded in something tangible, unlike the promise of fate and destiny, which powered her relationship with Joe and her entanglement with Matty.
I Hate It Here
More than anything, I think this song illustrates how Taylor sometimes uses escapism and maladaptive daydreaming to ignore the reality of the situation she’s dealing with. She recognizes that it’s not possible to stay where she is, locked inside this prison of stagnation and boredom:
If comfort is a construct
I don't believe in good luck
Now that I know what's what
She recognizes that this isn’t what she used to be, and that she never intended to choose this life of secrecy, perhaps alluding to all those years she spent “locked inside her house”:
You see I was a debutante in another life but
Now I seem to be scared to go outside
She describes herself as finding hope in the places her mind creates (seemingly alluding to her creation of characters and places for folklore and evermore):
I hate it here so I will go to
secret gardens in my mind
People need a key to get to
The only one is mine
I read about it in a book when I was a precocious child
And her escapism into her past, and imaginings of what could have been:
I hate it here so I will go to
Lunar valleys in my mind
When they found a better planet
Only the gentle survived
I dreamed about it in the dark
The night I felt like I might die
All throughout the song, there’s recognition that she doesn’t want to be here – she doesn’t want to feel as if the only place she can be free is in these imaginary worlds she creates. But there’s also concession – is she perhaps only destined for an eternal consolation prize? For loneliness? For imagined romanticism? For the fantasy of how she imagined her life and her love to be?
I'm lonely but I'm good
I'm bitter but I swear I'm fine
I'll save all my romanticism for my inner life and I'll get lost on
purpose
This place made me feel worthless
Lucid dreams like electricity, the current flies through me,
and in my fantasies I rise above it
And way up there, I actually love it
thanK you aIMee
This song, along with a few others in the latter half of the anthology, discusses the loss of innocence she felt in key moments of her life. This one quite obviously alludes to Kim Kardashian, and their infamous feud. I will make a separate post on this, but I think people describing this song as petty may not remember the depth of the hate aimed at Taylor in 2016. Kim and Kanye organized a revenge porn music video for Famous, and held a museum exhibit so that people could take pictures with the naked dolls. The night the snapchat videos were released, every Kardashian family member descended upon social media to gleefully celebrate the #TaylorSwiftIsOverParty. The amount of hate Taylor got was so unprecedented that Instagram actually built their comment filtration system because of this incident. It really was that bad.
And every baby step Taylor took (for example, even just posting that she had a good 2017 was met with immediate media backlash) was quite literally mocked across the internet. People thought the reputation era was cringey, that she was over, and that she deserved everyone’s ire because she was “proven” to be a liar. She describes this in the song:
Each time that Aimee stomped across my grave
And then she wrote headlines in the local paper
Laughing at each baby step I'd take
And it was always the same searing pain
But the whole time, despite the pain and blood, she was dreaming of the day that she would heal, and dreaming of the day that she would climb her way back to to the mountaintop:
And our town, it looks so small from way up here
//
So I pushed each boulder up that hill
Your words were still just ringing in my head, ringing in my head
What still irks her though, is that this bully who created this entire hate train and organized her downfall will pretend as if it never happened – she will undoubtedly reframe things to make our subject seem overdramatic, petty, and unable to move past the incidents of years ago. Taylor, however, has always been clear about one thing: sometimes, no amount of time can heal you from something that deeply traumatized you.
I Look in People’s Windows
This song to me feels like a sister song to The Black Dog, but a few months after the official end of a relationship. A sub theme that runs through Taylor’s songs about the Joe breakup is the loss of being understood – when you are no longer with a long-term partner, how do you cope with the fact that you move the world knowing everything about this person, but at the same time, not knowing them anymore? Would you peek into their windows just to get a glimpse of what their life looks like now? As anyone who has gone through a breakup knows, the hardest part is often not being privy to the mundane details of that person’s world – their dinner parties, their wine, their friends, and so on.
I look in people's windows
Transfixed by rose golden glows
They have their friends over to drink nice wine
I look in people's windows
In case you're at their table
What if your eyes looked up and met mine
One more time
The Prophecy
The prophecy is devastating. More so than any other song Taylor has ever written, it is full of desperation and longing. All she asks for is to be known, to be understood – to not be perceived as an idea of a woman, or a starlet with no humanity:
Please
I've been on my knees
Change the prophecy
Don't want money
Just someone who wants my company
Let it once be me
Who do I have to speak to
About if they can redo
The prophecy?
It’s striking especially considering how much she laments that leaving Joe means she’s giving up being known – it’s also striking given the fact that in the epilogue poem, she states that neither Joe or Matty ever truly knew her:
He never even scratched the surface
of me.
None of them did.
What she desires beyond fame, beyond notoriety, beyond money, is to be loved and to be known. The song also alludes to her being in therapy, and to finding some sort of consolation that she will find someone to share her life with:
I'm so afraid I sealed my fate
No sign of soulmates
I'm just a paperweight
In shades of greige
Spending my last coin so someone will tell me
It'll be ok
Cassandra
This track is a sister song to thanK you aIMee, and continues exploring the theme of fraught public womanhood we see in Clara Bow and Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me. In this song, Taylor discusses how the validation of women is never publicized in the way that the crucifixion of them is:
When the first stone's thrown, there's screaming
In the streets, there's a raging riot
When it's "Burn the bitch, " they're shrieking
When the truth comes out, it's quiet
Moreover, when women speak up about an issue, they’re often viewed as overdramatic, and unserious. Cassandra, in Greek mythology, was cursed by Apollo to always predict the future accurately, but never be believed. We see this happen every day to women in politics, in the media, and in pop culture:
So, they killed Cassandra first 'cause she feared the worst
And tried to tell the town
So, they set my life in flames, I regret to say
Do you believe me now?
And for Taylor, it’s reminiscent of all the times she’s been the first to speak out about something in the industry – for example, against Scooter Braun and his well-established pattern of bullying, or of the exploitation of artists on streaming services – but never been supported broadly by her peers. They believe her later, but at that point, very few people give her the credit for speaking up in the first place. It’s reminiscent of the Kimye scandal. When the news broke originally, the hatred she received was widespread. But when she was acquitted by the long-form video that leaked, it didn’t receive anywhere near the level of coverage that the original scandal received.
Peter
Peter is another song that touches on both the male muses for this album, and in turn, on the promises various men have given her over her life (we’ll circle back to this in The Manuscript!). It also touches on the theme of waiting that’s seen throughout this album, especially on her songs about Joe – how much time is enough time to give?
Both Matty and Joe were 25 when they met her, and it’s abundantly clear that both men made promises to her: promises of marriage, of children, and of a future. But how long can she wait for these promises to be fulfilled? To Joe, she gives six years of her life and youth, and to Matty, she gives him a chance to prove that he was reformed from the time she knew him last: both men eventually fail. Neither man is ready to give up their childish whims, and she has no choice but to lose hope that either of them ever will.
And you said you'd come and get me but you were 25
And the shelf life of those fantasies has expired
Lost to the lost boys chapter of your life
Forgive me Peter, please know that I tried
To hold onto the days when you were mine
But the woman who sits by the window has turned out the light
Another thing to note is the interesting double meaning of the song title. To peter also means to diminish gradually – much like her faith in both men’s promises.
The Bolter
A lot of the songs Taylor has written about Joe in this album deal with the question of “when is the right time to leave?” When you know that things are stagnant, and you know that you’ve given everything you have to a relationship, you know that you have to leave – but it’s easy to convince yourself if you have a history of “leaving before you get left” that you should ride out this wave, and that this pain might just be temporary.
The Bolter, to me, reflects on Taylor’s history – it seems like she prided herself on being able to see the warning signs, and being able to get out in time.
She's been many places with
Men of many faces
First, they're off to the races
And she's laughing drawin' aces
But, none of it is changin'
That the chariot is waitin'
Hearts are hers for the breakin'
There's an escape in escaping
It’s relevant to TTPD, because likely, she saw not bolting as a sign of growth and maturity. You know that you’ve grown as a person when you don’t abandon ship at the first sign of trouble, but what if there are so many signs of trouble that the truly mature thing to do would be to leave?
Robin
Robin leads into this theme of childhood and innocence that we see further in The Manuscript. The track name is also the name of Aaron Dessner’s child. She ponders how beautiful and sweet it is that we work so hard to protect childhood naivete:
Strings tied to levers,
slowed down clocks tethered,
all this showmanship
To keep it, for you,
In sweetness
And there’s an element of wistfulness to it – don’t we sometimes wish that we could also be protected from the worst the world has to offer?
You have no room in your dreams for regrets
You have no idea
The time will arrive for the cruel and the mean
You'll learn to bounce back just like your trampoline
But now we'll curtail your curiosity
The Manuscript
This song is perhaps the most climactic song on the album. It covers her romantic history up until that point, and starts at the moment she feels everything went awry – and it predates Joe and Matty. Instead, it calls back to the first time she experienced a proper heartbreak, and the first time she lost her childlike innocence in the world – her relationship with Jake Gyllenhaal (a time she described as her transition from childhood to womanhood). She describes how they compared licenses, and how he told her that if they had sex, and it was as good as the conversation was, then they would get married, and have a family. He was the first man to make her these promises:
He said that if the sex was half as good as the conversation was
Soon they'd be pushin' strollers
But soon it was over
He tells her that it’s ok that they have an age gap, because she’s so advanced for her age:
She thought about how he said since she was so wise beyond her years
Everything had been above board
She wasn't sure
While dating him, she desperately wants to be older, and starts emulating his behavior:
In the age of him, she wished she was thirty
And made coffee every morning in a French press
And when it’s over, she regresses, and turns back into a child – unable to sleep alone without the comfort of her mother, and unable to eat anything substantial besides the sugary cereal of her youth:
Afterwards she only ate kids' cereal
And couldn't sleep unless it was in her mother's bed
She forces herself to date boys her own age, to not rely on the maturity of an older man to guide her through adulthood, but she can’t help but feel disappointed in their youth:
Then she dated boys who were her own age
With dart boards on the backs of their doors
Finally, as she creates the All Too Well short film, she recognizes the damage he did to her, and how the consequences of that affair have shaped her life since:
And the years passed
Like scenes of a show
The Professor said to write what you know
Lookin' backwards
Might be the only way to move forward
Then the actors
Were hitting their marks
And the slow dance
Was alight with the sparks
And the tears fell
In synchronicity with the score
And at last
She knew what the agony had been for
Everything calls back to this first man, and these original promises – everything she’s been chasing since is reminiscent of this first scar. And just like how releasing All Too Well transformed and healed her, she hopes that by releasing this additional manuscript into the world, it will heal her again. As she describes in the epilogue poem, she is entering all her thoughts, emotions, and pain into evidence – she now asks the audience to process it with her, and thus conclude this process of healing.
The only thing that's left is the manuscript
One last souvenir from my trip to your shores
Now and then I reread the manuscript
But the story isn't mine anymore
If you read all of this - thank you! I enjoyed writing it, and I'm excited to discuss with you all in the replies :)
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Firstly, the word anthology means a collection of assorted literary works. As a result, I think there are more themes scattered through this album, and it’s meant to be a little harder to parse than the first one. I think this album is what TTPD would have been before it crystallized into a tighter theme – similar to the 3 AM tracks for Midnights, the majority of which were written prior to the standard edition’s tracks.
There are a few themes throughout this album. From a romantic context, to me, this album is primarily about Joe. I’ll walk through why I believe that, but this album feels less muddled to me in terms of its muses, and I think that is in part due to the fact that her self-described mania from the standard edition is not a theme on the anthology. This work also covers her own relationship to celebrity and fame, and how that affects her romantic relationships and her personal life in general. And finally, I think the final theme throughout this collection is the idea of childhood, of formative experiences, and how our author goes about processing events that happen to her.
The Black Dog
What happens when you intimately know someone, when you share every aspect of your life with someone, and then it's over? Six weeks after their breakup, she’s barely holding it together (“I move through the world with the heartbroken”). She even tried to rebound her pain away (“I took the miracle move on drug, the effects were temporary”), and wasn’t able to succeed. Meanwhile, she sees him go to a bar, and she has the sudden realization that he may be able to do what she failed to do – he might be able to move on, with someone new. Reckoning with that realization is horrifying. If he is able to pull it off, what does that mean about the love they shared? When he had told her for years that he was who he was for her, and her alone?
You said I needed a bravе man
Then proceeded to play him
Until I believed it too
And it kills me
How could they go from being so intimate that they shower together, that she’s aware of his every move, to being so distant from each other that she wonders if making her fall in love with him was a hazing? And the cruelest part of it is – she doesn’t want either one of them to be able to move on, and give validity to the fact that they weren’t right for each other, even though she knows they have to. Moreover, she’s already *tried* to move on at this point, and failed – she tried to manufacture a counterfeit version of their intimacy, but what if he’s able to perfectly replicate it? And to really drive in the knife, what if it’s with someone younger than her?
And you jump up, but she's too young to know this song
That was intertwined in the magic fabric of our dreaming
Given that a theme throughout the first album was her feeling like she’d given him so much of her youth, so much of her childbearing years, with nothing to show for it, what does it feel like to know that he can essentially reset time, by being with a younger woman, but she’ll never be able to get that time back?
imgonnagetyouback
We know that her and Joe took a break or two while they were together (see: Hits Different, The Great War, in addition to PR articles). To me, this song is about when you do take that break from your partner, and you’re trying to make a point to them that they’re not going to find anyone better than you (I can tell when somebody still wants me, come clean) – the two of you are too intimately intertwined to find a suitable replacement. You know what to wear, what to say, what to do to bring them back to you:
I, I hear thе whispers in your eyes
I'll make you wanna think twice
You'll find that you were never not mine
This song also has a lot of similarities to So Long, London, which is why I attribute it to Joe. To me, it provides a deeper story to some of the lines she touches on in So Long, London:
I didn't opt in to be your odd man out
I founded the club she's heard great things about
And to some of the lines in Hits Different:
I washed my hands of us at the club
You made a mess of me
I pictured you with other girls in love
Then threw up on the street
//
Bet I could still melt your world
Argumentative, antithetical dream girl
imgonnagetyouback is a story of one-upmanship – of trying to out-jealous your partner, of proving to them that nobody knows them better than you do. And maybe this time when they’re both playing this game, it works:
Push the reset button, we're becomin' something new
Say you got somebody, I'll say I got someone too
Even if it's handcuffed, I'm leavin' here with you
//
We broke all the pieces, but still wanna play the game (Oh)
Told my friends I hate you, but I love you just the same
Pick your poison, babe, I'm poison either way
The spacing to me is a deliberate red herring (the 1975 very famously made a song called fallingforyou), and a way to illustrate that the subject of the song wants space from her – but she’s not going to give it to him. This is another theme that calls back to Joe – in So Long, London, she describes him as constantly pulling away (Pulled him in tighter each time he was driftin' away). Matty didn’t pull away – he was all in for two weeks, until he chose to ghost her, and leave abruptly. There was no slow death, no push and pull to her relationship with Matty – it was a meteoric rise and fall.
The Albatross
This song feels like a sister song to “peace” – she describes what it’s like to love her. It’s a little more twisted, however, as she describes her love for her partner as both a danger, and a rescue from the danger she’s imposing on him by being involved with him:
Wise men once said
"Wild winds are death to the candle"
A rose by any other name is a scandal
Cautions issued, he stood
Shooting the messengers
They tried to warn him about her
She’s described herself as wind and liquor in her relationship with Joe previously, in Mastermind:
I'm the wind in our free-flowing sails
And the liquor in our cocktails
She has empathy for the narrator, but disdain for herself. There’s also acceptance though: she knows that she tried to prevent it, and tried to warn him about the danger she posed. In the end though, he chose this life with her, and he chose the danger – there’s only so much she can protect him from.
The devil that you know
Looks now more like an angel
I'm the life you chose
And all this terrible danger
Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus
This song feels like another sister song to The Black Dog – how does she cope with the idea that her long-time partner might move on? How does she cope with the fact that if she chooses to leave, she also chooses the future in which they both move on? A future in which they don’t know each other? It also touches on her wondering if she should move on with Matty, and how feasible it would be to know someone else instead of her partner:
If you want to tear my world apart
Just say you've always wondered
This song, more than anything else, illustrates that moving on with Matty was nothing but a way to move past Joe – what she really wants, more than anything, is a response greater than indifference from Joe:
As the decade would play us for fools
And you saw my bones out with somebody new
Who seemed like he would've bullied you in school
And you just watched it happen
There’s also the realization that Joe may never love who she is now – who she was at the beginning of their relationship will always be who he prefers:
If you want to break my cold, cold heart
Just say, 'I loved you the way that you were'
She’s trying desperately to find some way to make up for the fact that she had to leave Joe, that there was nothing she could do to stay – she tried changing everything about herself, but still, the need to leave him eventually caught up with her:
I changed into goddesses, villains and fools
Changed plans and lovers and outfits and rules
All to outrun my desertion of you
And you just watched it
And she wonders whether despite his indifference, and the distance between them, she should still stay:
Could it be enough to just float in your orbit
Can we watch our phantoms like watching wild horses
Cooler in theory but not if you force it
To be, it just didn't happen
But now, they are merely ghosts of who they once were – it’s not possible to force the relationship anymore.
How Did It End?
When a long-term relationship ends, you can point to the factors that led to its demise: a difference of opinions on money, on marriage, on children, and so forth. It is easy to determine the “what” and the “why” of an ending. But what is harder to diagnose is how you both became the versions of yourselves that weren’t on the same page, that were unable to discuss these topics, that couldn’t move past these dilemmas. That is much, much harder to pinpoint, and this is the question Taylor asks in this song. She knows what killed them:
We hereby conduct this post-mortem
He was a hot house flower to my outdoorsman
//
We were blind to unforeseen circumstances
We learn the right steps to different dances (ohh)
And fell victim to interlopers' glances
Lost the game of chance, what are the chances?
But what she still doesn't know is how it happened – how did it end? She also finds the empathy from the media and from the public to be false and selfish – they only want to know what happened to feverishly spread the news like wildfire.
Come one, come all
It's happenin' again
The empathetic hunger descends
We'll tell no one
Except all of our friends
We must know
How did it end?
//
Soon they'll go home to their husbands
Smug 'cause they know they can trust him
Then feverishly calling their cousins (ohh)
//
Say it once again with feeling
What the feeding frenzy wants more than anything is gossip, and they don’t care that she is utterly lost – lost as to why this happened, and lost physically and mentally:
Guess who we ran into at the shops?
Walking in circles like she was lost
How does she give an answer to quell the empathetic hunger, when she herself doesn’t understand exactly how it happened?
So High School
In an album that touches so much on feeling like she’s running out of time to have the future that she wants, and running out of youth to give the various men who come into her life, it is interesting and heartwarming that the song about Travis on the anthology is one that describes being with him as regaining her youth:
The brink of a wrinkle in time
Bittersweet sixteen suddenly
Moreover, another detail to note in this song is the difference in how she describes alcohol and drugs – in nearly every other song on TTPD, alcohol is a vice she uses in her moments of despair, and drugs are what her previous partners turn to in their moments of strife (she also describes the influence of drugs on her partners as something she detests – “sinking in stoned oblivion” and “you needed me but you needed drugs more”). With Travis, she’s not imbibing in any substances – instead, his thoughts and jokes are enough for her:
I'll drink what you think, and I'm high
From smoking your jokes all damn night
Travis is giving her back her youth, making sober promises, and the impression that we get is that they’re building this dreamlike reality together – it’s wholesome, all-American, and high-school-inspired, yet still grounded in something tangible, unlike the promise of fate and destiny, which powered her relationship with Joe and her entanglement with Matty.
I Hate It Here
More than anything, I think this song illustrates how Taylor sometimes uses escapism and maladaptive daydreaming to ignore the reality of the situation she’s dealing with. She recognizes that it’s not possible to stay where she is, locked inside this prison of stagnation and boredom:
If comfort is a construct
I don't believe in good luck
Now that I know what's what
She recognizes that this isn’t what she used to be, and that she never intended to choose this life of secrecy, perhaps alluding to all those years she spent “locked inside her house”:
You see I was a debutante in another life but
Now I seem to be scared to go outside
She describes herself as finding hope in the places her mind creates (seemingly alluding to her creation of characters and places for folklore and evermore):
I hate it here so I will go to
secret gardens in my mind
People need a key to get to
The only one is mine
I read about it in a book when I was a precocious child
And her escapism into her past, and imaginings of what could have been:
I hate it here so I will go to
Lunar valleys in my mind
When they found a better planet
Only the gentle survived
I dreamed about it in the dark
The night I felt like I might die
All throughout the song, there’s recognition that she doesn’t want to be here – she doesn’t want to feel as if the only place she can be free is in these imaginary worlds she creates. But there’s also concession – is she perhaps only destined for an eternal consolation prize? For loneliness? For imagined romanticism? For the fantasy of how she imagined her life and her love to be?
I'm lonely but I'm good
I'm bitter but I swear I'm fine
I'll save all my romanticism for my inner life and I'll get lost on
purpose
This place made me feel worthless
Lucid dreams like electricity, the current flies through me,
and in my fantasies I rise above it
And way up there, I actually love it
thanK you aIMee
This song, along with a few others in the latter half of the anthology, discusses the loss of innocence she felt in key moments of her life. This one quite obviously alludes to Kim Kardashian, and their infamous feud. I will make a separate post on this, but I think people describing this song as petty may not remember the depth of the hate aimed at Taylor in 2016. Kim and Kanye organized a revenge porn music video for Famous, and held a museum exhibit so that people could take pictures with the naked dolls. The night the snapchat videos were released, every Kardashian family member descended upon social media to gleefully celebrate the #TaylorSwiftIsOverParty. The amount of hate Taylor got was so unprecedented that Instagram actually built their comment filtration system because of this incident. It really was that bad.
And every baby step Taylor took (for example, even just posting that she had a good 2017 was met with immediate media backlash) was quite literally mocked across the internet. People thought the reputation era was cringey, that she was over, and that she deserved everyone’s ire because she was “proven” to be a liar. She describes this in the song:
Each time that Aimee stomped across my grave
And then she wrote headlines in the local paper
Laughing at each baby step I'd take
And it was always the same searing pain
But the whole time, despite the pain and blood, she was dreaming of the day that she would heal, and dreaming of the day that she would climb her way back to to the mountaintop:
And our town, it looks so small from way up here
//
So I pushed each boulder up that hill
Your words were still just ringing in my head, ringing in my head
What still irks her though, is that this bully who created this entire hate train and organized her downfall will pretend as if it never happened – she will undoubtedly reframe things to make our subject seem overdramatic, petty, and unable to move past the incidents of years ago. Taylor, however, has always been clear about one thing: sometimes, no amount of time can heal you from something that deeply traumatized you.
I Look in People’s Windows
This song to me feels like a sister song to The Black Dog, but a few months after the official end of a relationship. A sub theme that runs through Taylor’s songs about the Joe breakup is the loss of being understood – when you are no longer with a long-term partner, how do you cope with the fact that you move the world knowing everything about this person, but at the same time, not knowing them anymore? Would you peek into their windows just to get a glimpse of what their life looks like now? As anyone who has gone through a breakup knows, the hardest part is often not being privy to the mundane details of that person’s world – their dinner parties, their wine, their friends, and so on.
I look in people's windows
Transfixed by rose golden glows
They have their friends over to drink nice wine
I look in people's windows
In case you're at their table
What if your eyes looked up and met mine
One more time
The Prophecy
The prophecy is devastating. More so than any other song Taylor has ever written, it is full of desperation and longing. All she asks for is to be known, to be understood – to not be perceived as an idea of a woman, or a starlet with no humanity:
Please
I've been on my knees
Change the prophecy
Don't want money
Just someone who wants my company
Let it once be me
Who do I have to speak to
About if they can redo
The prophecy?
It’s striking especially considering how much she laments that leaving Joe means she’s giving up being known – it’s also striking given the fact that in the epilogue poem, she states that neither Joe or Matty ever truly knew her:
He never even scratched the surface
of me.
None of them did.
What she desires beyond fame, beyond notoriety, beyond money, is to be loved and to be known. The song also alludes to her being in therapy, and to finding some sort of consolation that she will find someone to share her life with:
I'm so afraid I sealed my fate
No sign of soulmates
I'm just a paperweight
In shades of greige
Spending my last coin so someone will tell me
It'll be ok
Cassandra
This track is a sister song to thanK you aIMee, and continues exploring the theme of fraught public womanhood we see in Clara Bow and Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me. In this song, Taylor discusses how the validation of women is never publicized in the way that the crucifixion of them is:
When the first stone's thrown, there's screaming
In the streets, there's a raging riot
When it's "Burn the bitch, " they're shrieking
When the truth comes out, it's quiet
Moreover, when women speak up about an issue, they’re often viewed as overdramatic, and unserious. Cassandra, in Greek mythology, was cursed by Apollo to always predict the future accurately, but never be believed. We see this happen every day to women in politics, in the media, and in pop culture:
So, they killed Cassandra first 'cause she feared the worst
And tried to tell the town
So, they set my life in flames, I regret to say
Do you believe me now?
And for Taylor, it’s reminiscent of all the times she’s been the first to speak out about something in the industry – for example, against Scooter Braun and his well-established pattern of bullying, or of the exploitation of artists on streaming services – but never been supported broadly by her peers. They believe her later, but at that point, very few people give her the credit for speaking up in the first place. It’s reminiscent of the Kimye scandal. When the news broke originally, the hatred she received was widespread. But when she was acquitted by the long-form video that leaked, it didn’t receive anywhere near the level of coverage that the original scandal received.
Peter
Peter is another song that touches on both the male muses for this album, and in turn, on the promises various men have given her over her life (we’ll circle back to this in The Manuscript!). It also touches on the theme of waiting that’s seen throughout this album, especially on her songs about Joe – how much time is enough time to give?
Both Matty and Joe were 25 when they met her, and it’s abundantly clear that both men made promises to her: promises of marriage, of children, and of a future. But how long can she wait for these promises to be fulfilled? To Joe, she gives six years of her life and youth, and to Matty, she gives him a chance to prove that he was reformed from the time she knew him last: both men eventually fail. Neither man is ready to give up their childish whims, and she has no choice but to lose hope that either of them ever will.
And you said you'd come and get me but you were 25
And the shelf life of those fantasies has expired
Lost to the lost boys chapter of your life
Forgive me Peter, please know that I tried
To hold onto the days when you were mine
But the woman who sits by the window has turned out the light
Another thing to note is the interesting double meaning of the song title. To peter also means to diminish gradually – much like her faith in both men’s promises.
The Bolter
A lot of the songs Taylor has written about Joe in this album deal with the question of “when is the right time to leave?” When you know that things are stagnant, and you know that you’ve given everything you have to a relationship, you know that you have to leave – but it’s easy to convince yourself if you have a history of “leaving before you get left” that you should ride out this wave, and that this pain might just be temporary.
The Bolter, to me, reflects on Taylor’s history – it seems like she prided herself on being able to see the warning signs, and being able to get out in time.
She's been many places with
Men of many faces
First, they're off to the races
And she's laughing drawin' aces
But, none of it is changin'
That the chariot is waitin'
Hearts are hers for the breakin'
There's an escape in escaping
It’s relevant to TTPD, because likely, she saw not bolting as a sign of growth and maturity. You know that you’ve grown as a person when you don’t abandon ship at the first sign of trouble, but what if there are so many signs of trouble that the truly mature thing to do would be to leave?
Robin
Robin leads into this theme of childhood and innocence that we see further in The Manuscript. The track name is also the name of Aaron Dessner’s child. She ponders how beautiful and sweet it is that we work so hard to protect childhood naivete:
Strings tied to levers,
slowed down clocks tethered,
all this showmanship
To keep it, for you,
In sweetness
And there’s an element of wistfulness to it – don’t we sometimes wish that we could also be protected from the worst the world has to offer?
You have no room in your dreams for regrets
You have no idea
The time will arrive for the cruel and the mean
You'll learn to bounce back just like your trampoline
But now we'll curtail your curiosity
The Manuscript
This song is perhaps the most climactic song on the album. It covers her romantic history up until that point, and starts at the moment she feels everything went awry – and it predates Joe and Matty. Instead, it calls back to the first time she experienced a proper heartbreak, and the first time she lost her childlike innocence in the world – her relationship with Jake Gyllenhaal (a time she described as her transition from childhood to womanhood). She describes how they compared licenses, and how he told her that if they had sex, and it was as good as the conversation was, then they would get married, and have a family. He was the first man to make her these promises:
He said that if the sex was half as good as the conversation was
Soon they'd be pushin' strollers
But soon it was over
He tells her that it’s ok that they have an age gap, because she’s so advanced for her age:
She thought about how he said since she was so wise beyond her years
Everything had been above board
She wasn't sure
While dating him, she desperately wants to be older, and starts emulating his behavior:
In the age of him, she wished she was thirty
And made coffee every morning in a French press
And when it’s over, she regresses, and turns back into a child – unable to sleep alone without the comfort of her mother, and unable to eat anything substantial besides the sugary cereal of her youth:
Afterwards she only ate kids' cereal
And couldn't sleep unless it was in her mother's bed
She forces herself to date boys her own age, to not rely on the maturity of an older man to guide her through adulthood, but she can’t help but feel disappointed in their youth:
Then she dated boys who were her own age
With dart boards on the backs of their doors
Finally, as she creates the All Too Well short film, she recognizes the damage he did to her, and how the consequences of that affair have shaped her life since:
And the years passed
Like scenes of a show
The Professor said to write what you know
Lookin' backwards
Might be the only way to move forward
Then the actors
Were hitting their marks
And the slow dance
Was alight with the sparks
And the tears fell
In synchronicity with the score
And at last
She knew what the agony had been for
Everything calls back to this first man, and these original promises – everything she’s been chasing since is reminiscent of this first scar. And just like how releasing All Too Well transformed and healed her, she hopes that by releasing this additional manuscript into the world, it will heal her again. As she describes in the epilogue poem, she is entering all her thoughts, emotions, and pain into evidence – she now asks the audience to process it with her, and thus conclude this process of healing.
The only thing that's left is the manuscript
One last souvenir from my trip to your shores
Now and then I reread the manuscript
But the story isn't mine anymore
If you read all of this - thank you! I enjoyed writing it, and I'm excited to discuss with you all in the replies :)
2024.06.02 06:51 futurebannedacct Choices
 | Hello, everyone. I'm out of my hibernation with another important message for you all and I know that just makes you so fucking happy and excited. submitted by futurebannedacct to CoronavirusCirclejerk [link] [comments] I wanted to remind everyone to check out my blog, which is one of the last bastions of free speech that is left in this god-forsaken place. Alright, now that I have officially tongued my own asshole to the point where pleasure turns to dysphoria, allow me to present to you: total bullshit! ... and some other things. Let's talk about choices. We make them everyday; life is all about them. This is a somewhat true statement - because life is really all about making sure you don't wake up - and choices play a significant role in this operation. Probably not so big a role as language, however, because language is the most deceptive tool in the arsenal of the ones with the power, so it is important that we choose our words wisely. For example, I keep hearing the phrase "forced vaccinations" or "mandatory vaccinations" being thrown around conspiracy forums, and this phrase, in itself, is an example of the deceptive power of words. We need to be honest with ourselves - because through honesty the truth is exposed - and the truth is the most well hidden part of this experience because the ones in power work to keep the truth hidden at all costs... because the truth will "set you free". But I digress. No one was forced to get vaccinated - not yet, anyway - so let's be honest about this: you might have chosen to take the jab, in order to keep your job, or you might have chosen to take the jab, in order to participate in society. This is a choice that you are making. Perhaps the stakes are high and you had a lot to lose if you chose not to take the jab; but until they are breaking down your door, holding you down, and sticking that needle in your arm - until that time - you are giving your consent to take the jab. This distinction is an important one to discern because we should be paying attention to the parts in life that are forced upon us and the parts in life that we are choosing to consent to. For example, no one forced us to wear masks for an entire year, but we all (for the most part) consented to doing so, in order to participate in society. We all chose to stand on the circles on the floor, in every checkout line, of every store. We made this choice for many different reasons - but in this community - many of us simply did this for other peoples "perceived well being". In other words, we were catering to the people that make up the majority and aren't as far along in the process of "waking up" as we are... although, many people seem to be choosing to remain asleep - for many different reasons - far from the most insignificant being "fear based programming". Allow me to share my perspective: for an entire year, we all wore masks in public: an action which is gradually weakening our immune system. Also in public, we practiced "social-distancing": an action that is also gradually weakening our immune systems. Many people - the drooling masses - took this social-distancing b.s. very seriously, for their own "perceived well being" (while virtue-signaling online that they were doing it for everyone else). So, the government asked us to all make a choice: to wear masks and social-distance for a year and - oh - almost forgot! Hand sanitizer - all over, suddenly - some so strong that it seems to be pure rubbing alcohol - killing all germs - and, well... gradually weakening our immune systems! The government had us all compromising our immune systems and overall health, in preparation to get vaccinated with something that sounds... frankly, batshit insane. Do you think this was all an accident? An innocent faux-pas on the part of our dear leaders? I think this was done intentionally. I've also prepared this meme, to help illustrate the conspiracy in question: The inspiration for this actually came from a post in that was written by someone who is, by no means, an anti-vaxxer, and overall still happy to be vaccinated... because the debilitating side-effects, self-replicating spike proteins is nothing compared to the constant onslaught of fear-based programming. "Trust the science". That's the last thing I think I'll do; thank you very much. Science is a bullshit factory specializing in limiting beliefs, which uses language to support any point of view that it chooses to support... and of course the point of view we are inundated with, in excess, is that of the ones in power. So please know that if you choose to educate me in the comments, about why the science behind social distancing, face masks and hand sanitizer is to our benefit then I'm either going to think you are being intentionally deceitful, or I will feel sorry for you because you have sincerely become this invested in the wrong direction of practices that are to your benefit. The moral of the story is that the words we use need to be chosen carefully, because when we choose words such as "forced" and "mandated", we are only working to deceive ourselves further away from the truth. The truth is that we are consistently bombarded with propaganda and manipulation, from the many resources available to the power structure, with the goal of getting our consent. The internet has been a great resource for the power structure to use for minimizing the power of consent. We must constantly "agree" to the terms and conditions that are made to be intentionally agonizing to read and understand. We are being trained to believe that consent is of little value or importance - consent is nothing more than a single click - in order to get to the prize on the other side. The truth may be that our consent is far more valuable than we realize: our consent is one of our most valuable assets. We need to pay attention to the effect that our consent has on our shared reality - because if there is one thing I learned, after experiencing psychosis - it's that the greatest sin is often committed by very kind people: the kind of people who are timid, helpful, and generous to a point where others take advantage of their kind, benevolent nature. Everyone knows someone who is in a relationship with a manipulative, controlling narcissist that walks all over them. Everyone knows someone who is kind, meek, and respectful of others... because they have no backbone. Someone who has lived a life of avoiding any and all conflict, at all costs, and chooses instead to allow others to take advantage of them. When you habitually allow others to walk all over you, this is your consent that "it's ok for others to do this to me". You are a worse person that the one who is violating you, because you think that it is ok for this to happen to you. Alright - that was just to set the mood for the actual post - which will begin..... ........ ......... now. CHOICES: PATRIOTIC EDITION In the spirit of (shudder) "the most free country on Earth" we're going to (I had a bad reaction to typing that just now, I find the idea to be suffocating and repulsive) talk about choices in red, white and blue. To be perfectly honest, I don't know that much about topics like "color programming", or the exact science and reasoning behind it; I just know that this color palette is used with enough frequency and in a way where there is likely some intent behind it. Perhaps it's as simple as feeling patriotic about democracy, constitutional rights, and other deceptive concepts that are total bullshit - or maybe - the meaning behind it goes far deeper, into the psychological manipulation that is induced by this particular color palette. When I saw that the magnet shared the same red/blue color palette, I realized that these colors are likely being used in order to put each individual into a state of polarization. CHOICE # 1 Games are fun. Games are based in conflict. Manufacturing reality by making conflict the biggest source for entertainment. Being alive involves the near constant activity of making choices. We are indoctrinated with the idea that having more choices is desirable. The power construct that is manufacturing reality has recently gone into overdrive in the manufacturing of choices. As the information age progresses through time, the amount of choices is becoming an ever increasing burden on the collective consciousness. The choices are presented using many different angles. A popular example is beliefs, which are currently being exploited by the manufacturers of choices more than any other time in the collective memory... which is always followed closely by the collective amnesia. Choices are deeply rooted in the DIVIDE AND CONQUER strategy, an all time favorite of the power construct. Choices are now being utilized in another favorite strategy for maintaining control: ORDER OUT OF CHAOS. Choices have an important role in the MANUFACTURING OF CONSENT, which is highly valued by the power construct. Consent is the oil that keeps the reality machine running smoothly, which is why so much effort is put into the illusion that consent has very little value. This illusion is concealed very well within the fabric of the intangible idea of reality that is overlaying the physical, material reality and has been so successful that consent is given almost instantaneously and without a second thought. Meanwhile, the illusion of value that has been given to currency is as strong as ever: remaining in its long-held position as one of the "pillars of control", which supports and maintains the power construct. The other pillar of control: the illusion of legitimacy, which several institutions within the power construct rely on, has been under maintenance, as a new version is being installed. While the anticipation for this new update slowly builds, the grand master illusion behind the power construct: FEAR BASED PROGRAMMING, - that's it - I'm giving up on this now. They're fucking plastic robots that hit each other until one of their heads... pops a boner? CHOICE # 2 A theme that seems to always accompany color-based choices emerges: everyone on the outside, looking in, sees an absolutely pointless rivalry. These dudes are victims of mind control. Well, after choice # 1 resulted in a train wreck of disjointed abstractions trying way too hard to be deep, meaningful observations, I am troubled by the thought of how many readers have probably given up on this. I want everyone that is still with me to know that, due to irrational fears about what anonymous online profiles might think about me, I will now focus primarily on "fitting in" and being likeable, by employing a strategy of trying very hard to not express any more ideas that might be considered "out there". Obviously, this is just the result of growing up poor and uneducated in the ghetto. I mean, who is crazy enough to actually believe that this is somehow connected to other rivalry's that use... very similar hues of red and blue. I mean, they are two of the most popular colors out there - both primary - and... realistically, there aren't that many colors; especially that complement each other like red and blue... ahh, blue and red: the colors of rivalry. There's no deep conspiracy here. Obviously, these guys wear these colors so they know who their enemies are... because, otherwise, there is no reason to kill each other. This is all about the colors. It would be completely pointless otherwise and these guys would probably get on well and hang out in each other's back yards... and then the cops would have nothing to do, which would be a waste of tax payer dollars. Can't have cops just standing around eatin' donuts and getting fat. CHOICE # 3 Coke & Pepsi. A classic rivalry that makes me proud to live in a free country, where great ideas like capitalism can flourish. I know that they are made by the same company, but I don't really think that matters, ya know? We are presented with choices. Our choices shape our opinions. So, if I choose red - I mean - Coke, then I will get along with others who choose Coke and we will agree that we chose correctly and that the people that prefer blue - I mean - Pepsi, chose incorrectly. Well, the people that chose blue think they chose correctly and that it is, in fact, the red people that chose incorrectly. This is a conflict of interests, and conflicts create division. People who are divided require a non-biased mediator so that order can be maintained and, because this mediator cares about the safety of both the red and the blue groups, it only makes sense that they should be given the authority to decide what is ok and is not ok for both groups. This is the most rational and logical option because the authority isn't biased towards red or blue, which means they will know what's best for everyone's interests. The police are there to make sure that all red and all blue people are all following all of the all-inclusive rules, mandated by the mediator, and all this is done for the greater good of society. I - I'm gonna get all choked up over here, just thinking about how nice the government is to do all that it does for us. They protect us from those fucking freaks that drink Pepsi. God I fucking hate those sub-human blue-tards! Red people generally have more money and are more successful, which means they are smarter. What started as a small neighborhood feud between Coke and Pepsi is actually how the gang warfare between the Bloods & Crips originated. That's right, they got the colors from Coke and Pepsi, which obviously is a lot more likely than a vast conspiracy involving powerful people manipulating reality in order to maintain control and power over the uninitiated masses. Fuck poor people. Oh, and how about those people that make their preference for Coke or Pepsi an aspect of their personality? They don't seem to understand that the color of the can is the only fucking difference. That's why I stick with Tab Cola, for those unmistakable metallic flavors and the uncomfortable, sticky feeling all over my body the next day. CHOICE # 4 They're the exact same store except for the fact that one is red and one is blue... and yet, you have a preference for one over the other. You made up some reasons for why they are different in your head, because you are under an immense amount of mind control. Ahh... consumerism: the arena of pointless choices. Why does only one company manufacture all the different brands of eyeglasses? Perhaps... to have control over the market? No - to have control over you, stupid - and no: this isn't a joke. It's a desperate plea, urging you to wake up and see this shit for what it really is, while you have this opportunity - this window - into the illusion. You see, they are getting desperate - and lately, the world seems like it has gone mad - which is part of their strategy, which is preventing you from seeing it. Why do you think there are suddenly twenty new M&M's flavor combinations? All these new Reese's Peanut Butter Cup's with minor alterations of essentially the same fucking thing? Let me guess: they're just having fun... right? Trying to stir up interest in candy bars? Or maybe for profit... right? This is just a business strategy to get your money... right? No... no... I'm afraid you're thinking way too small... with your logic and reason and all the other LIMITING BELIEFS that you have been - and are being - indoctrinated with: every fucking day! These are all pointless choices (brought to you by consumerism) that are trying to keep you distracted. Trying to keep your mind occupied. Why is Netflix trying to induce option paralysis? Why are the high-tech gadgets we use for entertainment purposes bombarding us with a constant onslaught of ads, new articles, stories, and a maddening amount of pointless bullshit?!?!?! They want you to be overwhelmed; they want you to freeze. They want you to have no sense of identity. They want life to overwhelm you with an endless list of pointless shit that has to get done in order to maintain... in order to maintain... to maintain what? THE ILLUSION, IDIOT. Ok: that was uncalled for. I don't think you're an idiot. I think that you know, in the bottom of your cold, gray heart , that the crazy shit I am saying sounds right (for some reason). They are manipulating reality in order to keep you under their power and control. I don't exactly know why, but I do know that they care a lot more about you being distracted than they care about worthless green paper. You know what? I bet the 1% doesn't give a shit about money: they simply have all of it just to piss you off. Why is all this corruption in the news all the time? The next fucking scandal that everyone can talk about? WHY is the news telling us to wear masks, get vaccinated and then, the following week, admitting COVID-19 is a bio-weapon? TO KEEP YOU DISTRACTED. THAT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING TO THEM. Oh, and Walmart and Target's LOGOS both contain some occult symbolism. Yep: Target's logo is the astrological symbol for the sun and Walmart's logo is the Star of David... with the hexagon in the middle. The hexagon is symbolic of the cube. Once you understand that you can't not see the cube. It's fucking weird - but also a conversation for another time - when we can discuss why all of these well-known corporate LOGOs are symbolic of Saturn: https://preview.redd.it/vsv8fcvh834d1.jpg?width=511&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d9a14f0b398633824a2768e3128268aa6628c689 CHOICE # 5 You know what? I think I should devote a large portion of my life to watching a bunch of overpaid, mentally compromised, grown-ass men chase a ball around. I also think I should be passionate about the team that is closest to me in geographical proximity. This is not mind control, but as a conspiracy realist, I do like to point out that MK Ultra really did happen, and the CIA really did experiment with mind control back in the 1950's, but the program ended decades ago. I like to go on online conspiracy forums, and help people understand the reality of conspiracy theories, so they don't get sucked into lies like Q-anon or lizard people or THIS POST, WHICH IS OBVIOUSLY THE WORK OF A MENTALLY UNSTABLE INDIVIDUAL. Watching sports makes me feel safe, and comfortable, because it distracts me from all the bullshit of everyday life. It's good to have a nice distraction - and fill my mind with useless sports stats - or talk endlessly with the bro's about individual players strength's and weaknesses - in a boring, monotonous tone of voice - while I sip domestic piss-water beer. I don't want to think too deeply about things because it starts to make me really uncomfortable when I have to confront reality. I'd rather just not worry about it and see what happens. Who am I but a lowly speck of insignificant, worthless dog shit in this giant, scary universe, where I am completely powerless to do anything but take whatever beating the world feels like dishing out to me that day? I dunno. Maybe Jesus will come back and good will win out in the end. Good always wins in the end - that's just the way it works - so I don't really have to worry about anything. God is good. My little brother doesn't like sports at all. He likes to put on girls makeup, and is always depressed and confused and obsessing about some dumb shit. We're lucky to live in the modern age, with advancements in science that will allow my brother to medically transition into the woman that he always should have been - and always truly was - on the inside. Some assholes don't think that trans women are women. They just don't understand how science works, and don't care to learn. They are just misogynistic, transphobic assholes. That's right: if you don't think that you can be born a man and then change into a woman that means you are transphobic. You hate trans people because you don't want to believe that a man can change into a woman. Anyway - that's my brother -not me. I like guy shit... because I'm normal. CHOICE # 666 The choice of the beast Oh NO! Everyone hates politics - which is why I hid it at the end - because I know nobody is still reading this. I've alienated myself from the audience, with all the confusing switching between dialogues of seemingly different people and JUST BECAUSE I BET there will be some DIP-CLIP that says "voting is how we get things done around here." HA! Nice try, but this isn't about politics; this is a meta-analysis of WHY it's NO POLITICS. The short answer is that participating in this is as pointless as those people above, participating in gang warfare against their fellow man. "THOSE PEOPLE?" What do you mean, those people? Black people? THIS GUYS RACIST. No, even worse: HE'S INTOLERANT. The human race has become far too soft, weak and emasculated by the pesticides and environmental toxins that get dumped all over us, every day! GET VACCINATED for other people, you SELFISH CONSPIRACY THEORIST. This is why we aren't going to reach herd immunity and we will have to deal with COVID-19 for years to come: because of people like you. WHY WOULD I trust a RANDOM, intolerant asshole on Reddit, who watched a YouTube video about lizard people, over EXPERTS who WENT TO SCHOOL for years to become indoctrinated, believe everything the MSM tells them, and completely LACK the ability to critically think?! All my life I heard that I "need to go to college", and today I couldn't be happier that I am not of a "higher education" because, from what I've gathered, they are some of the most CLOSE-MINDED people on the planet. LIMITING BELIEFS. That's what trendy these days. I'm not done yet! Yes, I'm gonna talk about the donkey and the elephant: not only are politics bullshit; those who participate in politics are participating in a terrible, evil practice. Why would you affiliate with a political party and tell people what you think they can and cannot do? Can't you see that's the crux of the problem? I know things are fucked when the majority of people are of the opinion that we need to FIX the government (change it, drain the swamp, bureaucracy, etc.) They don't get it - we don't need to change the government - we need to END the government. Government is the single biggest threat to humanity. "But they protect us from the BAD people." Guess what? "The bad people" are there because of the government. The government needs the bad people to be there, in order to maintain their "illusion of legitimacy" (credit - Jim@EOI) and make themselves seem needed. THE BAD PEOPLE are the people who protect us. The sooner you understand that, the better off you are. And people are still talking about election fraud because they think that Trump is GOOD. Can't you see the mind control? How are these people this BLIND to reality? Manipulation of reality. Look... it's the superpowers. The greatest countries in the world! But why do they have the exact same color scheme as all the pointless choices? How can they be united? This is the divided states and the divided kingdom, and they have conquered. DIVIDE & CONQUER. Oh, wait... some patriots went off to find a new home and fight for freedom from the oppression of the taxation of the royal bloody palace? Only to go and make a new country even more oppressive and with higher taxes, some two-hundred odd years later? Are you SURE that it wasn't actually to commit GENOCIDE against all the indigenous BROWN PEOPLE, whose genetic makeup allowed them to have a far deeper understanding of spirituality? CoUlDn't bE Th@T.... I'M DRAWING A LINE IN THE SAND I am so sick of the average Redditor - who thinks they're smart because they're an atheist who understands science - arguing with me, using all their SUPER-BELIEVABLE LIMITING BELIEFS. I know on Reddit it's hard to tell who is real and who ... isn't real - but these people are seemingly the majority now - and they're fucked. They don't even actually understand what science is. Science isn't chopping off your dick to be a woman. Let's talk about the actual scientist who performed many series of actual scientific experiments to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that people are able to control material reality with only the use of their minds. Why doesn't anyone ever want to talk about THAT science? What it seems is that every thing in this world - every institution, religion, and academic study - has been corrupted to keep us under control. The people that are in control of this world have access to esoteric knowledge that they have hidden from the masses to keep for themselves. This knowledge involves the ability to manipulate reality, which they use for power and keeping the rest of us down and powerless. From what I can tell, the thing they don't want us to know is that we are powerful beings, with capabilities that have been hidden and unused. Every person needs to understand that they are a powerful being that doesn't need any help or anyone to save them. WE have the power to control our own destiny. If the majority would start believing in their power and themselves, we would have a chance at ending this shitty reality manipulation and living as non-dual beings of love - as the true source of creation made us - powerful, independent beings with everything we need, and no need to evolve or learn shitty lessons about suffering. Unfortunately, it seems like most people would prefer to keep their creature comforts, believe that this isn't as bad as I am making it sound, and remain here, in the safety of familiarity... away from the fear of the unknown. And that makes me so fucking sad that it brings tears to my eyes. |
2024.06.02 06:27 xxDirtyFgnSpicxx Yall know the real reason u don’t like the show as much as u used to, right? It’s not what you think
Everyone places the onus on the Rory and Mal departure, or on saying that Ice and Ish aren’t as entertaining, but that’s not really it. We are 700 plus episodes deep. The “prime” episodes were actually just the first time Joe and Co. got into a groove and started telling their personal stories. Truth is It’s been years of 2-3 hour podcasts, all the stories have been told, all the crazy moments have been had. I wouldn’t be surprised if we don’t have close to 3k hours of entertainment from the guys. You can’t expect the same impact you felt when you first started listening and everything was fresh. Add to this the fact Joe started easing up when money finally came into play (don’t blame him, why fuck up the money to entertain a bunch of strangers who won’t pay your bills) and you have a recipe for less “entertaining” pods. I’m ok with it calming down, I’ve gotten older with the pod and I’d be pretty tired of r&m at this point, especially when the energy they gave looks just like what their pod is giving (happy they’re doing well, they did deserve better than the shitshow that was the breakup, but they never were the driving force of the pod). If yall disagree, idc but feel free to share your opinion, as it’s all subjective anyway
submitted by xxDirtyFgnSpicxx to theJoeBuddenPodcast [link] [comments]
2024.06.02 06:22 BossElectrical8931 Halbrand sauron and adar
We know that the showrunners have said that sauron will manipulate adar. The question in my opinion is in what guise will he manipulate adar. Will he present himself as sauron humbled and seeking redemption or will he still be presenting himself to adar as halbrand the mortal man.
If he presents himself as sauron then he could manipulate adar in a way that is similar to how he manipulated pharazon. He basically goes to adar admits he's sauron and admits the elves have discovered his true identity. He then basically asks for safe haven with adar and assures adar that he is too weak to challenge him and and says that the fact that adar split him open AND the fact that adar convinced all the orcs to follow him is proof that adar is now the more powerful of the two. He then basically manipulates adar to launch an attack on eregion. Maybe he does this by saying that before he was unmasked by the elves he learned that the elves were planning to attack mordor and destroy adar and his children. For good measure he then warns adar that the elves have started crafting rings of power that could make them more powerful than they already are. He then tells adar that if he successfully takes control of eregion then he can gain control of those rings of power and make himself more powerful.
The other possibility is that sauron continues to present himself as halbrand the leader of the people of the southlands. He basically makes up a bunch of horrible stories about the elves like saying they betrayed halbrand and his people by not allowing them to reside in elven realms after the destruction of the southlands. And he can claim that the elves have been crafting rings of power but refuse to give any to the survivors of the southlands therefore depriving the southlanders of having the strength and power to build up a new realm for themselves. Finally he can claim that the elves want the rings of power for themselves so that they can dominate all the other races of Middle earth. Therefore those who are not elves should unite to thwart the plans of the elves and the best way to do that is to attack eregion and take control of the rings of power.
submitted by BossElectrical8931 to LOTR_on_Prime [link] [comments]
If he presents himself as sauron then he could manipulate adar in a way that is similar to how he manipulated pharazon. He basically goes to adar admits he's sauron and admits the elves have discovered his true identity. He then basically asks for safe haven with adar and assures adar that he is too weak to challenge him and and says that the fact that adar split him open AND the fact that adar convinced all the orcs to follow him is proof that adar is now the more powerful of the two. He then basically manipulates adar to launch an attack on eregion. Maybe he does this by saying that before he was unmasked by the elves he learned that the elves were planning to attack mordor and destroy adar and his children. For good measure he then warns adar that the elves have started crafting rings of power that could make them more powerful than they already are. He then tells adar that if he successfully takes control of eregion then he can gain control of those rings of power and make himself more powerful.
The other possibility is that sauron continues to present himself as halbrand the leader of the people of the southlands. He basically makes up a bunch of horrible stories about the elves like saying they betrayed halbrand and his people by not allowing them to reside in elven realms after the destruction of the southlands. And he can claim that the elves have been crafting rings of power but refuse to give any to the survivors of the southlands therefore depriving the southlanders of having the strength and power to build up a new realm for themselves. Finally he can claim that the elves want the rings of power for themselves so that they can dominate all the other races of Middle earth. Therefore those who are not elves should unite to thwart the plans of the elves and the best way to do that is to attack eregion and take control of the rings of power.
2024.06.02 06:21 xJTheLegendx GWAV - All Investors Be Careful !
I'm not saying Negative things about the stock here. But , be careful when you see it headed for "The Moon".
The same ones that have been involved in these Volatile Fast Money Stocks, know there will be a lot of interest in GWAV when it resumes from the T1 Halt. They have over $100 Million between the group members, probably more like $250 Million OR More from March to Current Date. They'll likely Pump enough into GWAV to cause the momentum to get crazy, Go Up, but the end result will be, Everyone looking around, trying to figure out WTH just happened. If you invest more, make Some Money, Get Out. DO NOT think what you're going to see is going to be the New Long term Price. Once "The Group" Exit, GWAV Volume will continue for days, weeks, months, but that will be Unknowing Retail Investors, unsure of what's taking place, some selling, some buying, But "The Group" of about 8 Individuals will be long gone, after the first big Run Up. Be Careful. Don't Get "Done" Again. Make some good money and know your exit point. My Opinion. This will get many dislikes, because the ones I'm talking about are reading these Sub Reddit Groups. They don't want YOU to know about them. FACT ! #JTL
submitted by xJTheLegendx to GWAV [link] [comments]
The same ones that have been involved in these Volatile Fast Money Stocks, know there will be a lot of interest in GWAV when it resumes from the T1 Halt. They have over $100 Million between the group members, probably more like $250 Million OR More from March to Current Date. They'll likely Pump enough into GWAV to cause the momentum to get crazy, Go Up, but the end result will be, Everyone looking around, trying to figure out WTH just happened. If you invest more, make Some Money, Get Out. DO NOT think what you're going to see is going to be the New Long term Price. Once "The Group" Exit, GWAV Volume will continue for days, weeks, months, but that will be Unknowing Retail Investors, unsure of what's taking place, some selling, some buying, But "The Group" of about 8 Individuals will be long gone, after the first big Run Up. Be Careful. Don't Get "Done" Again. Make some good money and know your exit point. My Opinion. This will get many dislikes, because the ones I'm talking about are reading these Sub Reddit Groups. They don't want YOU to know about them. FACT ! #JTL
2024.06.02 06:20 Own_Snow9475 Thoughts on Tales of the Empire (Bariss focus)
So after watching tales of the empire, a series that, in my opinion, fleshes out two characters who have experienced extreme isolation, loss and have veered off their original path, I have considered how Bariss’s and Ahsoka’s relationship might’ve developed through this story
As an aside I can see the choice of Bariss and Morgan as their journey’s mirror one another. I believe that Bariss would have been perfectly ideologically aligned with the witches in the mountains of Dathomir, while Morgan Elsbeth would be right at home with the Inquisitors. It is Morgan’s emotions that drives her forward, but so is the case of Bariss.
Nonetheless, I believe that every part of the Bariss Offee arc is needed to help her realize her path. It is beautiful to watch her embrace her destiny as a healer, not only to atone for the harm she caused but to also center herself in her own meaning of the force and what it means to be Jedi.
I believe Ahsoka and Bariss, when they met, were able to at least agree on the fact that while their relationships with the Jedi have been turbulent, both have maintained their commitments to compassion, mercy and wisdom. Yes, Bariss did unspeakable things and killed her fellow Jedi, but Anakin did much worse (KILLED YOUNGLINGS) and is still seen as redeemable to both Ahsoka and Luke.
You might say that Ahsoka might resent Bariss for the framing of the Jedi Temple Bombing—but I believe both can come to terms with the fact that this event not only awakened Ashoka spiritually, but started the fall leading to Bariss’s redemption.
So perhaps they can look at one another and consider that each was a child during the hostilities of the clone wars, and both make amends for the past.
On a side note, I wish there was a series/medium that portrays Bariss’s journey to disillusionment in the clone wars. I think Bariss’s mild reaction to the Inquisitors’ absolutes and training speaks to just how hardened she was by Luminara’s rational yet callous disposition. You can see how she justifies so much that the inquisitors do (Luminara’s legacy) but draws a line at the murder of innocents. She doesn’t kill those who disagree with her, but instead tries to create the dialogue to connect with her rivals.
The “you’re not alone” line really made me smile. She heals her isolation and inspires others by relating to their fear and grief.
In conclusion I believe that Ahsoka’s great trial wasn’t the framing ordeal, but will be forgiving the lost Jedi who caused her undeniably painful circumstances, but who also grew from their own mistakes.
submitted by Own_Snow9475 to starwarsspeculation [link] [comments]
As an aside I can see the choice of Bariss and Morgan as their journey’s mirror one another. I believe that Bariss would have been perfectly ideologically aligned with the witches in the mountains of Dathomir, while Morgan Elsbeth would be right at home with the Inquisitors. It is Morgan’s emotions that drives her forward, but so is the case of Bariss.
Nonetheless, I believe that every part of the Bariss Offee arc is needed to help her realize her path. It is beautiful to watch her embrace her destiny as a healer, not only to atone for the harm she caused but to also center herself in her own meaning of the force and what it means to be Jedi.
I believe Ahsoka and Bariss, when they met, were able to at least agree on the fact that while their relationships with the Jedi have been turbulent, both have maintained their commitments to compassion, mercy and wisdom. Yes, Bariss did unspeakable things and killed her fellow Jedi, but Anakin did much worse (KILLED YOUNGLINGS) and is still seen as redeemable to both Ahsoka and Luke.
You might say that Ahsoka might resent Bariss for the framing of the Jedi Temple Bombing—but I believe both can come to terms with the fact that this event not only awakened Ashoka spiritually, but started the fall leading to Bariss’s redemption.
So perhaps they can look at one another and consider that each was a child during the hostilities of the clone wars, and both make amends for the past.
On a side note, I wish there was a series/medium that portrays Bariss’s journey to disillusionment in the clone wars. I think Bariss’s mild reaction to the Inquisitors’ absolutes and training speaks to just how hardened she was by Luminara’s rational yet callous disposition. You can see how she justifies so much that the inquisitors do (Luminara’s legacy) but draws a line at the murder of innocents. She doesn’t kill those who disagree with her, but instead tries to create the dialogue to connect with her rivals.
The “you’re not alone” line really made me smile. She heals her isolation and inspires others by relating to their fear and grief.
In conclusion I believe that Ahsoka’s great trial wasn’t the framing ordeal, but will be forgiving the lost Jedi who caused her undeniably painful circumstances, but who also grew from their own mistakes.
2024.06.02 06:12 Stage-Piercing727 Best 12000 Lumen Flashlight
 | submitted by Stage-Piercing727 to u/Stage-Piercing727 [link] [comments] https://preview.redd.it/iouqce5u234d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cbe197ad4fca784eacc016a5d8a1618733fdc724 Are you in need of a bright and reliable flashlight for your next outdoor adventure? Look no further! In this article, we have compiled a roundup of the top 12000 Lumen flashlights on the market, designed to illuminate even the darkest of paths. From durability to versatility, each flashlight on our list has been carefully selected to ensure that you find the perfect fit for your needs. So, let's dive in and discover the best 12000 Lumen flashlights to help you see clearly and confidently in any situation. The Top 18 Best 12000 Lumen Flashlight
Reviews🔗Mighty Nebo 12K Rechargeable LED Flashlight: Powerful and Versatilehttps://preview.redd.it/bn0ebinu234d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5cf9a09bc7597de18ff9abd66e64e7e265cc629d As a flashlight enthusiast, I recently had the chance to try out the Nebo 12K Rechargeable Flashlight, and let me tell you, it did not disappoint. This flashlight boasts 5 different light modes, making it a versatile companion for any outdoor activity or emergency situation. The highlight of this rechargeable flashlight is its impressive run time, particularly in low mode. With 12 hours of use on low mode, you can be sure it will last during those long power outages or camping trips. Not only does it have a long run time, but it also provides a powerful beam that reaches up to 721 feet. One feature I appreciated was the 2x adjustable zoom, which allows for flexibility and precision when illuminating a subject. Additionally, the IP67 waterproof rating gave me peace of mind when using the flashlight in wet conditions, knowing it would not easily malfunction. The NEBO 12K truly shines as a multi-purpose tool, effectively functioning as a camping light, hunting light, EDC flashlight, and even doubling as a power bank for your USB-rechargeable devices. There were a couple of drawbacks, however. The flashlight itself can be quite heavy, weighing in at 2 pounds, which may be a consideration for some users. The high setting only reaches up to 3,000 lumens, which might not be the brightest available on the market. In summary, the Nebo 12K Rechargeable Flashlight offers versatility, durability, and an impressive beam distance, making it an excellent choice for outdoor enthusiasts and emergency preparedness. The only downside is its weight and the relatively low lumen capacity on the highest mode, but overall, I am quite pleased with my experience using this flashlight. 🔗990,000 Lumen Rechargeable Flashlight: Waterproof, Portable, & Durable High-Lumen LED Lighthttps://preview.redd.it/wm2dbb6v234d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d7b313579d285df14ac1a93c9f20b157ae6b7350 I recently tried using this Super Bright LED Flashlight during a camping trip, and I must admit, it was an impressive and necessary piece of gear for my outdoor explorations. With a maximum output of 990,000 lumens, it was brighter than most of my other flashlights combined. The upgraded LED chip and battery really made a difference. One of the standout features of this high-lumen rechargeable flashlight was the large 12000mAh battery that allowed for up to 24 hours of continuous operation at low light mode. It was perfect for nighttime hikes or scouting while navigating through dense forests. The fast charging port was also a nice touch, significantly speeding up the charging process. I enjoyed the fact that this flashlight had 4 modes - high, medium, low, and strobe - which were incredibly useful in different situations. The easy-to-use switch made it simple to toggle between modes and turn off after use. The durable yet lightweight construction, coupled with its waterproof design, made it a suitable companion for any adventure. Overall, my experience with the Super Bright LED Flashlight was both exhilarating and eye-opening, as it truly illuminated the darkness and provided comfort on my camping trip. The superior performance, versatility, and safety standards, along with the great after-sales service, make this a must-have piece of gear for any outdoor enthusiast. 🔗Portable 12000 Lumen LED Work Light for Indoor and Outdoor Usehttps://preview.redd.it/1z1vw5ev234d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=601b22d2c9159d7ffc270b587221114b7bac09d9 In my search for a portable work light, I came across the Husky 12000 Lumens LED light. With its 5 ft grounded power cord, I found it extremely practical for use both indoors and outdoors. The pivoting, adjustable head provided me with the flexibility to direct the light exactly where I needed it. One of the features that stood out to me was its LED bulb, which not only illuminates my workspace effectively but also remains cool to the touch. The work light is also plug-in, making it easy to keep it powered during long work sessions without the need for constantly replacing batteries. The sturdiness of the light impressed me. Despite its portability, it has a solid construction that helped me achieve a steady working environment. This light truly deserves the 5.0 rating that is so highly praised by its users. It's become an essential part of my daily toolkit, and I highly recommend giving it a try. 🔗WUBEN X1 LED Flashlight: Super Bright, Waterproof, and Durablehttps://preview.redd.it/g9c6nq2x234d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=27e3831796b1273874cad7012b52a8ef848e50e7 I recently tried out the WUBEN X1 Rechargeable Flashlight and was completely blown away by its incredible brightness. With up to 12000 lumens, this torch definitely lit up my path like a beacon. It's equipped with 3 high-quality LEDs, which burst into a blinding light instantly. The 7 modes and programmable settings let you customize its output to fit your needs perfectly. Charging this flashlight is a breeze, thanks to its ultra-fast charging ability. The Type-C to Type-C charging cable enables a quick 27W charge, fully powering the built-in batteries in just two hours. With a maximum running time of up to 220 hours in energy-saving mode, you'll never have to worry about being left in the dark. The WUBEN X1's design is incredibly comfortable and practical. Its flat, ergonomic shape fits perfectly in your hand, making it a pleasure to use. It even comes with a storage bag and paratrooper lanyard for added convenience. One of the standout features of this flashlight is its durability. Made from hard-anodized aerospace-grade aluminum alloy, it can withstand any punishment you throw at it. Plus, with an IP55 waterproof rating, you can use it fearlessly in the rain. Overall, the WUBEN X1 Rechargeable Flashlight is an impressive piece of kit that provides both convenience and reliability. It's definitely a must-have for outdoor enthusiasts and those in need of a versatile, high-quality torch. 🔗Powerful Super Bright USB Rechargeable Flashlight with 12000 Lumenshttps://preview.redd.it/tboqx9ux234d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f2e85664a24626aad87c0c9212cbbf60d4898a0a The YXQUA XHP70 12000 Lumen Flashlight has been a reliable companion during my hiking trips and late-night walks. The bright CREE XHP70 LED lamp illuminated my way through the darkness, while the zoom feature allowed me to control the brightness intensity and illumination range. With its five modes, I could choose the perfect setting for any situation, and the intelligent power indicator light never let me down with low battery reminders. One particularly impressive feature was the built-in rubber USB cover; it not only added durability to the flashlight but also made it less prone to accidents. While adjusting the focus and brightness was a simple and straightforward process, one downside was the tendency of the glass not to cool down quickly, which could potentially burn my hand. Using this flashlight has been enjoyable and convenient, fulfilling its purpose as a powerful, rechargeable, and versatile light to keep away darkness and danger. 🔗Ultra-Bright 12000 Lumen Flashlight for Emergency and Outdoor Usehttps://preview.redd.it/5ald4m8y234d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e6fdcc3abe64720f10b37e1566b1faf5b102dec5 These SKNSL Rechargeable LED Flashlights truly shine with their impressive 900,000 lumen output, providing brightness you can count on. I was particularly drawn to the 7 modes, making it a versatile choice for all kinds of adventures. One thing I really appreciated is the use of COB technology in these flashlights. It made the focus easily adjustable, switching between wide range and spot illumination, greatly aiding in my detection of surroundings. However, it did take some getting used to with handling the light for long periods of time due to the intense brightness, which felt more like a sun's intense glare. But overall, these LED flashlights provide a powerful and rechargeable source of light in emergencies or during your outdoor treks. With their IP6 waterproof rating and strong aluminum alloy body, they are built to handle any weather or situation. 🔗100000 Lumen High-Powered LED Flashlight with Rechargeable Battery and IPX6 Waterproof Designhttps://preview.redd.it/h6md5emy234d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d041966f6d19e1c679d745bbe89a8e9ff9f0b65f I've been using this super bright and versatile flashlight for all sorts of outdoor activities, and let me tell you, it's been a lifesaver! The XHP99 LED chip provides a whopping 100,000 lumens, making it perfect for lighting up even the darkest of corners. One of my favorite features is the advanced rechargeable design - not only do I save on batteries, but the charging speed is lightning fast! And the multiple output functions let me power up my phone in a pinch or use it as a tool during emergencies. Plus, the large capacity battery keeps the flashlight going strong for at least 8-12 hours thanks to the included 5000mAh lithium batteries. But hey, don't let the powerful performance fool you - this flashlight is incredibly durable and waterproof, making it just as great for camping, mountaineering, or any outdoor adventure. And with its adjustable focus and 5 different lighting modes, it's the ultimate tool for whatever situation you find yourself in. So if you're looking for the ultimate, rechargeable, super-bright flashlight, look no further! 🔗Super Bright 12000 Lumen Fenix LR50R Rechargeable Flashlighthttps://preview.redd.it/zcjiyouz234d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8bb45fa6ddc4a370af75656264572e63ad67e6c0 I had the chance to try out the Fenix LR50R rechargeable flashlight, and let me tell you, it's a game-changer. This little powerhouse puts out a whopping 12,000 lumens - brighter than any flashlight I've ever owned. But what impresses me the most is its versatility. It's perfect for search and rescue, but I've also found it handy for when I need a little extra light while camping. The Fenix LR50R is easy to use, too. With dual stainless steel side switches, you can quickly cycle through its six brightness modes and SOS, beacon, and strobe functions. The built-in tripod mount is a nice touch, making it convenient to use in different settings. Now, let's talk about the battery life. The included 16,000 mAh battery pack can be fast-charged with the USB Type-C charging cable, and it has enough juice to keep the flashlight running for over 58 hours on eco mode. Plus, the LR50R can also be powered by one to four 21700 batteries, making it a great backup for when your primary battery dies. The Fenix LR50R isn't without its minor cons, though. It's definitely on the heavier side, so it might not be the best option for those who prefer a lighter flashlight. Also, while the flashlight itself is well-made, the included accessories could use some improvement - I found the holster and lanyard a bit flimsy. Overall, the Fenix LR50R rechargeable flashlight is a powerful and versatile tool that's perfect for those who need a reliable light source in any situation. Its high lumen output, easy-to-use interface, and long battery life make it a standout choice among other flashlights on the market. 🔗Ultimate 12000 Lumen Waterproof Flashlight for Emergency and Outdoor Usehttps://preview.redd.it/btk6rvzz234d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=30b6101c74abd84d17c68515a3f9acdc9164576d As I embarked on a camping trip, my go-to companion was the Vastfire World's flashlight - a powerful 100,000 lumen marvel. Its large 10000mAh capacity kept me lit up for the entire journey, and its adjustable focus allowed me to easily switch from wide-angle to long-range illumination. The four different brightness modes were perfect for various situations, and the OLED power display ensured I never ran out of battery. The side white and red lantern was a lifesaver during nighttime endeavors, providing both powerful light and useful features like emergency red strobe. This flashlight even doubled as a portable power bank, giving extra life to my devices! The window breaking functionality was an unexpected and reassuring bonus, and the IPX6 waterproof feature made sure the elements never got the better of it. My Vastfire Worlds flashlight truly became my indispensable tool on outdoor adventures, camping trips, and nighttime tasks. It was reliable, versatile, and portable, making it the ultimate must-have. 🔗ULTRA BRIGHT WUBEN A9: High Lumens Flashlight with Type-C Rechargeable Batteryhttps://preview.redd.it/ex9anaj0334d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=297f1239b60b1c740248d75df3ab3a4a55fe149f I recently got my hands on the WUBEN A9 flashlight and let me tell you, it was a delightful experience. The first thing that caught my attention was its ultrabright light. It's powered by a custom 10200 mAh rechargeable battery pack that can emit up to 12000 lumens of output. This flashlight comes with a multitude of lighting modes. It has 4 basic modes: Turbo/High/Med/Low, and 2 modes for emergency: SOS/Strobe. The side switch design allows me to operate the flashlight with just one hand. What I truly appreciate about this flashlight is its rechargeable feature. It can be charged via a Type-C charging cable, making it eco-friendly and budget-friendly. When fully charged, the flashlight can last up to 3.6 hours in Turbo mode and up to 23 days in Low mode. The durability of this flashlight is top-notch. It's made of hard anodizing aircraft grade aluminum alloy and is IP68 waterproof and dustproof. In the package, you get the flashlight, a 10200 mAh rechargeable battery, a shoulder strap, a Type-C charging cable, an adapter, 2 spare O-rings, and a user manual. Overall, the WUBEN A9 is a reliable, ultra-bright, and eco-friendly flashlight that's perfect for all your outdoor adventures. 🔗Bright and Powerful 12000 Lumen Flashlighthttps://preview.redd.it/jffhebr0334d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=dd1c27c060c2b533c3d066f225b6eff85900358f I recently had the chance to try out the WUBEN A9, a high power flashlight. With an impressive 12,000 lumen output and a maximum beam throw of 420 meters, this flashlight was designed to shine brightly and far. In my daily life, I often found myself reaching for this flashlight when I needed extra light during camping trips or late-night walks. What stood out the most about the WUBEN A9 was the quality of the three LED chips, which provided a beautiful wide beam. At the same time, the flashlight was incredibly powerful, making it a great choice for situations that required a bit more illumination. However, there were a few areas where I felt the flashlight could have been better. One con was the battery life, which could be improved for long-term use. Additionally, the user interface required some getting used to, and I felt that there might have been a simpler way to navigate through the various settings. Overall, the WUBEN A9 is a reliable and powerful flashlight that offers enough light for those who require it. With its unique wide beam and maximum lumen output, it's perfect for those looking for a bright and practical light source in their daily lives. 🔗Super Bright Solar-Charged Spotlight with Multi-Mode Functionalityhttps://preview.redd.it/4296ms51334d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1e595ebb8d5e295b33c7f7c07cf9ef9eaedbc528 When I tried the Victoper Spotlight flashlight, I was blown away by how incredibly bright it was. The 2624 feet (800m) irradiation distance made it perfect for all kinds of occasions. And the 12,000 mAh large capacity battery meant it never ran out of charge—even for an entire night! . Charging it during the day using solar power was an added bonus. The various modes, including Strong Light and Weak Light, plus side modes like Strong Light and RED-BLUE Strobe, made it extremely versatile. Not only that, but getting extra accessories with my purchase was a fantastic added touch. Overall, the Victoper Spotlight was an essential tool for all my brightness needs. 🔗Ultra Bright Handheld 12000 Lumen LED Flashlight with Rechargeable Battery - Perfect for Camping, Hiking, and Huntinghttps://preview.redd.it/87xaw9m1334d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ea0bfe3257f48a876a1f3e0623c97746c722d914 This ultra-bright handheld spotlight from Decovolt boasts a powerful 12000 lumen LED that generates a focused spot beam, illuminating distances up to 2600ft/800m. Its unique rechargeable design offers three adaptable settings - High, Low, and Flash - and an impressive battery capacity of 10000 mAh. The ergonomic handle and low weight ensure comfort and long-lasting use without fatigue. With its high-quality ABS plastic construction, this flashlight is designed to withstand the elements as well, with an IPX4 waterproof rating. Ideal for a range of outdoor activities like hiking, camping, and hunting, its durability and versatility make it a must-have for anyone seeking reliable, bright lighting. 🔗Extra Bright, Waterproof Rechargeable Flashlight for Emergency and Outdoor Usehttps://preview.redd.it/73x0j4w1334d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=352372b7c72684a58b13bcdf4b85727b08f979e6 Last month, I decided to give the Yierblue Rechargeable Spotlight Flashlight a try during one of my usual camping trips. At first, I was skeptical about its claimed brightness, but it truly was extra bright compared to the small models I've used before. The LED light had a lifespan of 50,000 hours, which was impressive considering how often I used it, and its 1000,000 lumen beam was able to cast light up to an incredible 550 yards. One of the features I found particularly helpful was its IP67 waterproof and floating ability. I submerged it into the river near my campsite by accident, but not only did it perform like a charm, but it actually floated back up to the surface! This added layer of durability was a definite pro, especially when paired with the High strength ABS housing and silicone protective case. The flashlight's versatile capabilities added even more convenience to my outdoor adventures. With an output port that served as a power bank to charge my devices in emergencies and built-in 10000 mAh batteries, I was confident I would never be left in the dark. The 4 adaptable light settings made it suitable for various activities, from working on a farm to hunting or simply providing hands-free lighting. Despite all its advantages, one thing I did notice was that the flashlight tended to be quite heavy in comparison to others, making it less ideal for extended periods of use or carrying around on long hikes. Additionally, though the provided red filter was great for specific purposes, such as hunting, I would've appreciated a more adjustable or easily removable feature to further customize the light. On the whole, my experience with the Yierblue Rechargeable Spotlight Flashlight has been a pleasant one. The brightness, waterproofing, and versatility of the device made it a valuable addition to my camping gear, while its weight and filter issues were minor inconveniences. Overall, I would recommend this flashlight for anyone in need of a heavy-duty, extra bright light for their outdoor adventures. Buyer's GuideWhen it comes to choosing a 12000 Lumen flashlight, there are several factors to consider to ensure you're getting a high-quality product that meets your needs. In this buyer's guide, we will provide you with the important features, considerations, and general advice to help you make an informed decision.Important FeaturesBrightnessThe primary feature to look for in a 12000 Lumen flashlight is, of course, the brightness. This amount of light output is suitable for various environments, including camping, hiking, emergency situations, and even industrial settings. Always check the manufacturer's specifications to ensure the flashlight delivers the advertised brightness. https://preview.redd.it/508xrbm3334d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=99ebab50e468272cf04cbc9901a4bdacc9b45524 Weight and PortabilityA 12000 Lumen flashlight can be quite heavy, so consider the weight and portability when making your decision. If you plan to carry the flashlight frequently, choose one with a comfortable grip and a balance of size, weight, and power. Additionally, consider whether the flashlight comes with a carrying case, holster, or any other accessories that may aid in portability.DurabilitySince a 12000 Lumen flashlight is likely to be used in outdoor or rugged environments, durability is crucial. Look for a flashlight with a sturdy, waterproof, and shock-resistant build. Check the materials and construction, as well as the manufacturer's warranty, to ensure the product can withstand the wear and tear of everyday use.Battery LifeA 12000 Lumen flashlight requires a significant amount of power. As such, it's essential to consider the battery life. High-capacity rechargeable batteries are usually recommended for these types of flashlights. Additionally, a fast charging time and the ability to use replaceable batteries can be great advantages.Beam Type and Beam PatternDifferent flashlight models come with different beam types and patterns. A focused beam is ideal for long-distance illumination, while a wider beam pattern is better for close-up tasks. Consider the activities you'll be using the flashlight for and choose one with a beam type and pattern that suits your needs. https://preview.redd.it/29zepts3334d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d076bf4d9433f8d42ba8692c8565d7557da354a4 Additional FeaturesSome 12000 Lumen flashlights come with additional features, such as strobe or SOS functions, multiple brightness levels, waterproofness, and even built-in charging ports. Evaluate which features are most important to you and choose a flashlight that meets your preferences.ConsiderationsBudgetBefore making your purchase, establish a budget. While a high-quality 12000 Lumen flashlight may come with a higher price tag, always consider whether the product offers value for money. Additionally, factor in any additional costs for carrying cases, batteries, or other accessories.Brand ReputationDo some research on the brand's reputation, customer reviews, and overall satisfaction with their products. A trusted brand with positive reviews is more likely to provide a high-quality and reliable 12000 Lumen flashlight. https://preview.redd.it/qs8fcd74334d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=607f318fef9630e920a25784b322b2252ab87366 Warranty and SupportA good warranty and customer support can give you peace of mind when purchasing a 12000 Lumen flashlight. Typically, flashlights with longer warranties and accessible support channels demonstrate a manufacturer's confidence in their product.General AdviceWhen choosing a 12000 Lumen flashlight, consider your needs and preferences to make an educated decision. Don't be afraid to ask questions or seek advice from knowledgeable sources, such as experienced outdoorsmen, reviewers, or sales representatives. Additionally, always read the product manual and follow the manufacturer's guidelines to ensure safe and optimal use.FAQWhat is a 12000 Lumen Flashlight?A 12000 Lumen Flashlight is a highly powerful and bright flashlight that can illuminate large areas or objects in complete darkness. It is designed for use in emergency situations, hunting, camping, outdoor activities, or any scenario where a powerful light source is needed. https://preview.redd.it/yr98fzn4334d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=bc960a763040091e70e1374475bf6c2c595cc9e0 What are the advantages of a 12000 Lumen Flashlight?
What types of 12000 Lumen Flashlights are available?There are several types of 12000 Lumen Flashlights, including handheld flashlights, headlamp flashlights, and rechargeable flashlights. Some models may have additional features such as retractable clips, built-in backup batteries, or waterproof designs.Are 12000 Lumen Flashlights expensive?Prices for 12000 Lumen Flashlights can vary based on brand, features, and quality. While some higher-end models may be more expensive, there are also budget-friendly options available that still deliver impressive performance.How do I choose the right 12000 Lumen Flashlight for my needs?
How long does the battery last in a 12000 Lumen Flashlight?Battery life in a 12000 Lumen Flashlight can vary greatly depending on the model and how it is used. Some flashlights may have a battery life of just a few hours, while others can last up to 50 hours or more. Always refer to the manufacturer's specifications for accurate battery life information.What is the difference between a 12000 Lumen Flashlight and a lower-lumen flashlight?The primary difference between a 12000 Lumen Flashlight and a lower-lumen flashlight is the amount of light they produce. A 12000 Lumen Flashlight is significantly brighter than a lower-lumen flashlight, allowing it to illuminate larger areas or objects in complete darkness more effectively.Are 12000 Lumen Flashlights safe and reliable to use?Yes, 12000 Lumen Flashlights are generally safe and reliable to use. However, as with any powerful tool, it is essential to follow proper safety guidelines and handle the flashlight responsibly. Always keep your eyes protected from the bright light and avoid pointing the flashlight at others.Where can I purchase a 12000 Lumen Flashlight?You can purchase a 12000 Lumen Flashlight from various retailers, both online and in-store. Some popular options include Amazon, Walmart, and outdoor gear stores. Make sure to read product reviews and compare prices before making a purchase.As an Amazon™ Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases. |
2024.06.02 06:08 Whole_CakeIsland Survivor BvW RI
I think how BvW handled redemption island WAS SOOOOOOO GOOOOOOD and that's how I'd like any come back season
It truly feels like just an extension of the game and not a tacku twist like any other season
My opinion not fact btw
submitted by Whole_CakeIsland to survivor [link] [comments]
It truly feels like just an extension of the game and not a tacku twist like any other season
My opinion not fact btw
2024.06.02 06:05 TicTaknight Roommates clashing
My friends are my family and we live together. Ms girl and him have a kid, and they're clashing a lot. Neither of them can relay feelings or emotion to the other, and one is, in my opinion, being extremely selfish. She has a lot she can work on, but it's mainly lifestyle and interpersonal issues. He has a lot to work on, which is mainly emotional and mental. Multiple times in the last two weeks alone he has dropped everything and left to go to his cousins side when he has suicidal episodes (This is not the first instance), and when Ms girl expressed dislike for it happening again today, he told me she was only mad because he woke her up. The fact is, his cousin needs an aide or to be admitted somewhere that will ensure his cousins taking everything, and he understands this, but refuses to see how continuing to drop everything affects anyone else. I asked him where the line was with his cousin and he said he doesn't know, I told him he needs to consider his girl and kid, in the end to sum it up, he's made a decision and he's going to do what he wants regardless of how anyone feels about it. If he can justify it he won't accept anything else. On one hand I get that his cousin is what he has left for family, but he's giving no consideration for the family he's made with Ms girl. From my standpoint he's being extremely selfish, and I'm frustrated and worried for them. I regulate their thoughts but I need someone who can help me figure out my own and what to say to them that gets a point across😞
submitted by TicTaknight to Anxiety [link] [comments]