25th wedding anniversary quotes for friends
/r/Vegas - The Original Reddit Las Vegas
2008.04.08 02:06 /r/Vegas - The Original Reddit Las Vegas
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2018.03.17 05:05 CloudsBuster Cloud x Aerith Clerith
We are the largest open forum of Cloud and Aerith on the internet. If you're a fan of Cloud and Aerith's beautiful love story from Final Fantasy VII, then you've found the right place.
2012.05.01 22:51 ronald_ploter White Trash Blondie Boys
We are the White Trash Blondie Boys and this is our Fantasy Football League, The Upton Bowl. This is a community page where we share power rankings, videos, league statistics, and in general is just a central hub for the lore of our league.
2024.05.26 07:31 Vavhv I (22m) suspect that my best friend (20nb) is severely depressed. What to do? Should I contact their family?
Trigger Warning: Mention of suicide, TL;DR at the end.
Hello everyone, I (22m) have a friend (20nb) from college who I've been messaging frequently in the past week, especially since my mood has become elevated (which may be either due to my mood disorder or increase in antidepressant dosage). I've been sending them nice messages everyday, but I fear that it's not enough or that it may be too much.
Lately they've been mentioning about how they feel burnt out from college and don't like being with other students because they feel alienated by them and felt betrayed because they used to have other friends. But 2 weeks ago during a college break, they suddenly went silent on me for several days, and after that said that they've been only talking with their long-distance partner (21b) because that's who they're comfortable with.
Last week, they came to college and I was with them most of the time and they often seemed sad and tired, but they didn't say anything bad about me and even invited me to go outside to a cafe with them for a while. A day later, I attempted suicide due to some argument I had with my family which is a complete other story, but long story short they called me that time and I reconsidered and stopped my suicide attempt thanks to their kind words.
The day after that, we met on college again and while they said they're ok with me, they said that they had to go home immediately so I just respected that and let them. There was a field trip on the next day, but I didn't attend due to a death anniversary and I wanted some time to reflect on and heal from my attempt. I let them know they can text me during the field trip but they didn't really text much aside from saying they feel tired and overwhelmed and want to go home.
We were supposed to call when they got home but we didn't get to and on the next day they said the passed out. In the last several days, I tend to ask them how they're doing but they usually reply very late, saying that they're sorry cause they've been sleeping a lot. I suggested that they might be severely depressed but that it's a treatable condition, but refused, saying that they're not depressed because they don't want to overthink things. I asked them if they're taking their prescribed medication since they have a psychiatrist, and they indirectly answered by saying that they're taking their anxiety medication. When I asked them if they have medication for depression, they said they're not depressed and the conversation stopped there because I didn't want to argue.
It's been like this for several days, and what's worse is that their long-distance partner has been busy lately due to family matters and hasn't been responding much either, only replying every several hour intervals. I'm really worried about my friend and I don't want to lose them. Should I contact their family so they can help them out somehow? I also told my friend to contact their psychiatrist but they said that their next appointment is on June 1.
I've talked about this with another friend but they told me not to contact the family unless I'm sure because the family might be causing the problem and potentially abusing my friend, and while I don't know much about their family, I don't know much evidence to suggest this either. Should I contact them anyways? I know I can contact them through Facebook, but it would be my first time directly messaging them.
TL;DR: My friend has been telling me that they feel tired, sad, and overwhelmed, but refuse the possibility of being depressed to avoid overthinking. Recently, they don't talk to me as often and say they're sleeping most of the time. I'm worried about them and want to get them help before it worsens. What should I do? Should I contact the family they live with? Ask them about their psychiatrist?
submitted by Vavhv to Advice [link] [comments]
Hello everyone, I (22m) have a friend (20nb) from college who I've been messaging frequently in the past week, especially since my mood has become elevated (which may be either due to my mood disorder or increase in antidepressant dosage). I've been sending them nice messages everyday, but I fear that it's not enough or that it may be too much.
Lately they've been mentioning about how they feel burnt out from college and don't like being with other students because they feel alienated by them and felt betrayed because they used to have other friends. But 2 weeks ago during a college break, they suddenly went silent on me for several days, and after that said that they've been only talking with their long-distance partner (21b) because that's who they're comfortable with.
Last week, they came to college and I was with them most of the time and they often seemed sad and tired, but they didn't say anything bad about me and even invited me to go outside to a cafe with them for a while. A day later, I attempted suicide due to some argument I had with my family which is a complete other story, but long story short they called me that time and I reconsidered and stopped my suicide attempt thanks to their kind words.
The day after that, we met on college again and while they said they're ok with me, they said that they had to go home immediately so I just respected that and let them. There was a field trip on the next day, but I didn't attend due to a death anniversary and I wanted some time to reflect on and heal from my attempt. I let them know they can text me during the field trip but they didn't really text much aside from saying they feel tired and overwhelmed and want to go home.
We were supposed to call when they got home but we didn't get to and on the next day they said the passed out. In the last several days, I tend to ask them how they're doing but they usually reply very late, saying that they're sorry cause they've been sleeping a lot. I suggested that they might be severely depressed but that it's a treatable condition, but refused, saying that they're not depressed because they don't want to overthink things. I asked them if they're taking their prescribed medication since they have a psychiatrist, and they indirectly answered by saying that they're taking their anxiety medication. When I asked them if they have medication for depression, they said they're not depressed and the conversation stopped there because I didn't want to argue.
It's been like this for several days, and what's worse is that their long-distance partner has been busy lately due to family matters and hasn't been responding much either, only replying every several hour intervals. I'm really worried about my friend and I don't want to lose them. Should I contact their family so they can help them out somehow? I also told my friend to contact their psychiatrist but they said that their next appointment is on June 1.
I've talked about this with another friend but they told me not to contact the family unless I'm sure because the family might be causing the problem and potentially abusing my friend, and while I don't know much about their family, I don't know much evidence to suggest this either. Should I contact them anyways? I know I can contact them through Facebook, but it would be my first time directly messaging them.
TL;DR: My friend has been telling me that they feel tired, sad, and overwhelmed, but refuse the possibility of being depressed to avoid overthinking. Recently, they don't talk to me as often and say they're sleeping most of the time. I'm worried about them and want to get them help before it worsens. What should I do? Should I contact the family they live with? Ask them about their psychiatrist?
2024.05.26 07:29 schoobydoo2 How to deal with narc/people with HEAVY narcissistic personalities?
My GC sister (27f) is emotionally manipulating me (25f) with her kids and guilt trips. I’m fine with all the help I’ve done for her as it was out of the kindness of my heart, but she always likes to throw things she’s done for me, back in my face, or tries to embarrass or confront me only in front of others even though we have been texting on several other social media accounts. The help I’ve given her can never be repaid, as I’ve given her money, time, and energy to raise her kids and get her out of a bind time and time again. I don’t want to be resentful as I saw a good quote about not being able to pay back debt. The thing is, I didn’t view it as a debt until she started acting like I’m shortchanging her, like I owe her something. I’ve never even gotten a thank you, but it wasn’t a big deal, but if she’s going to have a double standard I can only tally and count everything I’ve done for her is more than her husband has ever given her and they’ve been together for over 10 years. I get so angry I can’t even talk to her anymore. Normally I’m okay with all the comments on my clothes, hair, body, I am under a microscope when I visit. And on top of that, I don’t tell my whole family when I’m visiting as there is not enough time or energy for me to visit everyone in the day or two I randomly get to visit, she will tell EVERYONE that I came by. Like you’re making me look bad, you’re making our family upset, and you’re making me not want to visit or talk to you because you twist everything I say. Why do you keep doing stuff like that? Why isn’t there ever any respect for me? You always slander my name and now I just don’t care. I feel so much better now that we are VLC. She doesn’t really get it I guess tho because she keeps calling and texting me everyday even if I don’t respond. And the thing is we’ve NEVER be close or talked a ton. She never wanted to be close. She was always bullying me mentally and physically, and when her husband put his hands on me she got mad at me. Now her calling me everyday just pisses me off. And If I don’t send her some kind of supply she will get the rest of the family I don’t even talk to to tell me to stop being mean to her even though most of our fights are initiated by her. As she is now chronically ill, she doesn’t have the physician leverage over me anymore (6’1GC, and me 5’5 SG). So now she either rages or starts acting really clingy. It’s driving me crazy. Idk what to do I feel like I backtracked so hard inviting them back into my life, idk what to do next if she’s so persistent despite my lack of returning her messages. I do help her financially, but I have stopped as I am in school and working part time. And I have no car, school loans, and no savings, I’ve given her everything I had, because she made me feel like I owed her and later learned she helped facilitate a lot of problems my Nmom caused for me financially. Being around them causes me anxiety, and I forgot that I didn’t have to see them anymore. Crazy right? I’ve just been on go mode after my bfs Covert mom moved in with us begging for some place to stay because she was mad her friend didn’t want to be with her even though he did a ton for her. He gave her $7,000 to find a place. She bought a ton of stuff off Amazon, never paid her share of bills, and never cleaned. She’s triangulated me and my bf for 8 months straight. It took me back to when my mother kicked me out. Having to walk on eggshells, finding new sabotages done by her daily. Like putting her bidet wash clothes under my bath towel instead of where it’s been for months. Like letting it touch. She hated me. She loved her son like you could tell she thought they were dating. He obviously didn’t stick up for me but didn’t want me to leave on my own. She never apologized to me but she apologized to him after she disowned him because he told her that if she wasn’t going to be helpful she could wait in the car, when we were moving and we have BOTH helped her move and she bothered me DAILY for helping her with her projects. On top of not cleaning she had three long hair cats, fought with only the neighbors children and never the parents, yells at everyone, and overall super moody and unpleasant to be around. She sent me PARAGRAPHS. About how hurt she was because she thought I was mad at her. And my bf made me tell her if I was or wasn’t and I asked her and she wouldn’t answer. I’ve been feeling so alone. I’m supposed to graduate college next term and my sister expects to be invited and she’s never asked me about school or anything. No one in my family has. She only talks about herself. Am I narcissistic since I keep attracting the same people with different faces. I don’t got for them they come to me and LATCH. I’ve only picked 3/7 for friends the rest were just victim of circumstance. Do you guys have this problem?
submitted by schoobydoo2 to raisedbynarcissists [link] [comments]
2024.05.26 07:26 Remarkable_Detail_17 My mom’s engaged and I’m so happy for her.
It’s pretty much the title. But i feel like we could use a palate cleanser from some of the awful people we see here on Reddit.
I’m Catholic, and for the first 6 years of my education, I went to a private Catholic school. In kindergarten, me and my twin brother (19f, 19m) had a friend, Wyatt (19m). My mom (54f) was his mom’s RCIA (Rite of Christian Initiation for Adults) sponsor, so we ended up spending a lot of time together as kids. In 4th grade, my brothers and I transferred to a different school, and we fell out of touch with Wyatt and the rest of his family.
Fast forward to 2022. My mom is at Costco, and she runs into Wyatt’s dad, Mike. The two get to talking, and they say how they want to get us kids together. That didn’t happen until about a year later. In August of 2023, we went on a joint family camping trip, and every so often when I’m home for the weekend from school, we’d do other family things. We’ve gone zip lining, axe-throwing, hiking, done escape rooms—basically just fun family stuff. It was around that first camping trip that Mom and Mike made things official. For the last four months or so, all of us kids have known on some level that they were going to get married.
They aren’t super over the top around us kids, but we do feel like one big dysfunctional family. It can be really stressful at times for me to be around so many people all at once, but I like it. My younger brother (16m) and Mike’s second son (17m) are already like brothers, and I’m slowly getting closer to his daughter (15f). She’s a sweet girl who’s super tomboyish like me, and we’re each other’s sister we never had.
Mom and Mike had another camping trip planned for this weekend, but I had a previous commitment with a friend, so I stayed home (the benefit was that Mom didn’t have to ask anyone to take care of the dog or the chickens lol). As my friend and I were driving home from our plans today, I was texting with my mom when she said she had a question for me. Seeing as she’d entrusted her house to me, my mind started going worst-case scenario when she said that. I played it cool, and I responded with “Shoot.” She then sends me a picture of her hand with an engagement ring on, and the caption was “Will you be my maid of honor?”
Apparently, she and Mike had hiked to the top of a mountain (they go on hiking trips a lot) and at the top of the mountain, he popped the question. My mom and I had discussed the potential wedding between her and Mike, and she’d said that she only wanted me and Mike’s daughter as her bridesmaids. That said, I accepted. My mother also watches our potato queen’s videos and has seen enough delulu bridezillas dump all the planning on their MOH, and she told me that I will not be responsible for any planning. I will still attempt to plan a bachelorette, which will probably be a tea party in the backyard because I’m not old enough to drink and my mom isn’t a drinker. (But if anyone has ideas for a bachelorette that a college sophomore can throw together, they are greatly appreciated.)
I haven’t even seen my mom’s face, but I was able to feel how happy she is over our texts, and I’m just as happy for her. For the last 10 years, she’s put aside her own needs and focused on making sure my brothers and I were taken care of. She’s bent over backwards for us to make sure we had whatever we needed, all while teaching middle school. My mom is an actual superhero. After all these years of her taking care of us, it makes me so happy and gives me peace of mind that she has someone to take care of her now.
I couldn’t have picked a better guy for her because not only is Mike good to her, he’s good to me and my brothers. He helps my twin get involved with jobs and is good with his boundaries. Whenever he’s working in the same area my college is in, he offers to take me to lunch, and he’s been to both of my orchestra concerts. He helps my other brother work on cars and was there for every ROTC drill competition. Basically, he’s been the father I always wished I had but didn’t get to grow up with. Well, better now than never.
submitted by Remarkable_Detail_17 to CharlotteDobreYouTube [link] [comments]
I’m Catholic, and for the first 6 years of my education, I went to a private Catholic school. In kindergarten, me and my twin brother (19f, 19m) had a friend, Wyatt (19m). My mom (54f) was his mom’s RCIA (Rite of Christian Initiation for Adults) sponsor, so we ended up spending a lot of time together as kids. In 4th grade, my brothers and I transferred to a different school, and we fell out of touch with Wyatt and the rest of his family.
Fast forward to 2022. My mom is at Costco, and she runs into Wyatt’s dad, Mike. The two get to talking, and they say how they want to get us kids together. That didn’t happen until about a year later. In August of 2023, we went on a joint family camping trip, and every so often when I’m home for the weekend from school, we’d do other family things. We’ve gone zip lining, axe-throwing, hiking, done escape rooms—basically just fun family stuff. It was around that first camping trip that Mom and Mike made things official. For the last four months or so, all of us kids have known on some level that they were going to get married.
They aren’t super over the top around us kids, but we do feel like one big dysfunctional family. It can be really stressful at times for me to be around so many people all at once, but I like it. My younger brother (16m) and Mike’s second son (17m) are already like brothers, and I’m slowly getting closer to his daughter (15f). She’s a sweet girl who’s super tomboyish like me, and we’re each other’s sister we never had.
Mom and Mike had another camping trip planned for this weekend, but I had a previous commitment with a friend, so I stayed home (the benefit was that Mom didn’t have to ask anyone to take care of the dog or the chickens lol). As my friend and I were driving home from our plans today, I was texting with my mom when she said she had a question for me. Seeing as she’d entrusted her house to me, my mind started going worst-case scenario when she said that. I played it cool, and I responded with “Shoot.” She then sends me a picture of her hand with an engagement ring on, and the caption was “Will you be my maid of honor?”
Apparently, she and Mike had hiked to the top of a mountain (they go on hiking trips a lot) and at the top of the mountain, he popped the question. My mom and I had discussed the potential wedding between her and Mike, and she’d said that she only wanted me and Mike’s daughter as her bridesmaids. That said, I accepted. My mother also watches our potato queen’s videos and has seen enough delulu bridezillas dump all the planning on their MOH, and she told me that I will not be responsible for any planning. I will still attempt to plan a bachelorette, which will probably be a tea party in the backyard because I’m not old enough to drink and my mom isn’t a drinker. (But if anyone has ideas for a bachelorette that a college sophomore can throw together, they are greatly appreciated.)
I haven’t even seen my mom’s face, but I was able to feel how happy she is over our texts, and I’m just as happy for her. For the last 10 years, she’s put aside her own needs and focused on making sure my brothers and I were taken care of. She’s bent over backwards for us to make sure we had whatever we needed, all while teaching middle school. My mom is an actual superhero. After all these years of her taking care of us, it makes me so happy and gives me peace of mind that she has someone to take care of her now.
I couldn’t have picked a better guy for her because not only is Mike good to her, he’s good to me and my brothers. He helps my twin get involved with jobs and is good with his boundaries. Whenever he’s working in the same area my college is in, he offers to take me to lunch, and he’s been to both of my orchestra concerts. He helps my other brother work on cars and was there for every ROTC drill competition. Basically, he’s been the father I always wished I had but didn’t get to grow up with. Well, better now than never.
2024.05.26 07:26 Wallywutsizface Funny Instagram video where guy pranks dad by flipping the lights
This is a funny video I saw on Instagram years ago that me and friends quote all the time and remember vividly, but have since lost and can’t find anywhere.
A guy sneaks into the doorway of the room. On the left side of the screen, who I assume to be his dad is working on the computer, typing in really really big font (I remember this detail being really funny, it’s like he had bad eyesight). The guy starts flipping the lights on and off. The dad, who sounds shockingly like Steve Buscemi, says:
“F*** you! You know you’re not supposed to do that to lights! If you do that again I’ll kill you”!
I saw the video around 2019 or 2020, but the video could’ve been older. I remember it very vividly and might be able to recall more details if that helps. We have been searching for it for the past 2 years now but haven’t found anything. I need to find this video if it kills me
submitted by Wallywutsizface to HelpMeFind [link] [comments]
A guy sneaks into the doorway of the room. On the left side of the screen, who I assume to be his dad is working on the computer, typing in really really big font (I remember this detail being really funny, it’s like he had bad eyesight). The guy starts flipping the lights on and off. The dad, who sounds shockingly like Steve Buscemi, says:
“F*** you! You know you’re not supposed to do that to lights! If you do that again I’ll kill you”!
I saw the video around 2019 or 2020, but the video could’ve been older. I remember it very vividly and might be able to recall more details if that helps. We have been searching for it for the past 2 years now but haven’t found anything. I need to find this video if it kills me
2024.05.26 07:23 UpstairsChampion7754 Best friend ghosted me and it's affecting me more than I thought
I can't get over this. We were on vacation with our respective kids, she messaged me accusing me of two things that aren't true and are provable by me, blocked me and ignored my milestone birthday 3 days later. She since unblocked me, probably by accident and can't re-block me for 48 hours. I sent her a thoughtful message outlining why her accusations were untrue, how hurtful she is being, nothing rude/angry but honest and candid. She's been online but hasn't read it (very unlike her). I messaged earlier wishing her 2 year old a happy birthday after she ignored mine. She said she'd let the 2 year old know.
I feel like such an idiot thinking she was my very dear friend. I'm too old for this nonsense and game playing. We have vacationed together and done all kinds of things with our own kids. We talked for hours at times, and every little thing that passed either of our minds, we'd share and laugh or comment on. I would have dropped what I was doing and drove the long distance to her house if she needed me. I feel so betrayed and screwed over and I don't understand how people can do this to others and not care about hurting them. I'm in tears and panicking and I feel like I should know better by my age. This is so hurtful and she won't even talk to me. I don't deserve this. How do I move on and fill this Friend sized hole in my life?
submitted by UpstairsChampion7754 to FriendshipAdvice [link] [comments]
I feel like such an idiot thinking she was my very dear friend. I'm too old for this nonsense and game playing. We have vacationed together and done all kinds of things with our own kids. We talked for hours at times, and every little thing that passed either of our minds, we'd share and laugh or comment on. I would have dropped what I was doing and drove the long distance to her house if she needed me. I feel so betrayed and screwed over and I don't understand how people can do this to others and not care about hurting them. I'm in tears and panicking and I feel like I should know better by my age. This is so hurtful and she won't even talk to me. I don't deserve this. How do I move on and fill this Friend sized hole in my life?
2024.05.26 07:20 LilyMcAllister ⚡️⚡️ LIMITED TIME DEAL! ⚡️⚡️ 50% OFF! Ling's Moment Dusty Rose Bridesmaid Bouquet Set of 4, Rose and Mauve Wedding Bouquets for Bridesmaids, 7 Inch Bridal Bouquets for Bridesmaids, Wedding, Ceremony, Anniversary, Homecoming, etc.
 | submitted by LilyMcAllister to AmazingDeals [link] [comments] |
2024.05.26 07:14 margaretmorningwood I think I (26nb) need to leave my relationship with my first long term partner (44m) because I feel like I've completely lost myself, and our disputes make me feel crazy, does my reasoning make sense or am I really losing my mind?
So, for some context: I've (26nb) been in a relationship with my partner (44m) for about 2 and a half years. I was struggling pretty hard with drinking when we became involved, but I was extremely upfront about that, the extent to which it affected me, and that it may be difficult to have a relationship for that reason. He decided he wanted to date me anyway, but part of the strain we're experiencing is because though I've become far more sober than I was, I still struggle with it. I accept that part of our conflict as my responsibility, and am doing my best to work on it (trying to find a therapist I click with, attending some online meetings, trying to add structure to my life where I can, etc). That's not really why I'm writing this.
TLDR; I'm realizing I've lost a lot of my identity in this relationship, that it revolves pretty heavily around my partner's comfort, and that there's a pretty jarring lack of reciprocity in our relationship in a lot of ways (enumerated in the following novel, sorry this is so long).
I feel like our conversations are often one-sided, or there's not room for me to have feelings that aren't accommodating to him. Many of our conversations are retellings of my partners' run ins with famous musicians and past opportunities to be a career musician, successful pranks he pulled as a teenager, and listening to his old projects. That never used to bother me; now, I often feel like a receptacle for everything that feeds his ego. If I repeat a story, he tells me he's heard that like twenty times before, or sometimes, "why would you tell me that" if it's a story related to addiction (he has also experienced addiction, and I let him talk about that without judgement). I don't make him feel less than for sharing the same things he has already or for sharing difficult experiences, and I don't understand why he can't offer me the same.
I don't think he really knows a lot of sides of me that I view as integral to who I am. I realized recently, that though I was in art school before we met, was a prolific songwriter and poet, he hasn't expressed interest in seeing any of my art. I think he heard maybe one of my songs when we first started hanging out, and never expressed interest in what I was working on or the things I've made like I do for him. Since we've been dating, I've maybe written one poem, and stopped making art and music; I think that's partially to do with being very depressed in sobriety. It used to be such an integral part of my life and identity. His disinterest didn't really hit me until he reacted skeptically when I expressed interest in going back to school to be a graphic designer a couple of days ago. He asked if I even "had design experience" when I've completed three years of a fine arts degree and used to spend a lot of my free time illustrating and making prints. Also, regardless, why would you react so nastily to something your partner aspires to?
Lately, I've noticed that he often checks out when I start bringing up something he didn't bring up, or I just talk about what's on my mind. When he needs to vent about people at work or his roommate, or his home situation (he does have a lot of stressful health related things happening with his family, as do I), I let him, and I don't try to shut him down. Conversely, when I mention my anxiety over my job search (currently unemployed), he often says he "just wants to have a good day" and that he "doesn't know why I can't put it out of my mind" (because I have bills to pay, and it's anxiety provoking to struggle to find a job, and I thought I could vent to him like he does to me; it's not like I'm asking to make our whole day about my anxiety). He reacts the same way when I'm having a day where I'm feeling down, and I've expressed that sometimes I just need a little time to shake it off, but he always wonders if we "should be hanging out" because he "just wants to have a good day" and that makes me feel totally insane, because I feel like even in a relationship that's only platonic, I wouldn't expect a friend to sequester themselves from me for having negative feelings, I'd just hang with them and maybe do something that cheered them up until they felt a bit better. Is that unreasonable? I recently had a period of suicidal ideation, and the first time I saw him in person after telling him on the phone, he could only talk about how he could never go through that again. I understand concern, I express concern for him when I've spent his miserable days with him, but I'd never express that in a way that made it all about how I felt, at least never intentionally.
As far as the lack of reciprocity continues, when we spend time together, it's always at his apartment, though he lives with a roommate (who is a close friend of mine who he often expresses disdain for) and I live alone, and he frequently complains about her "always being there." When he moved in, I accompanied him to target to get supplies and helped him get all his art and gadgets set up. He said he'd help me make my place more homey by helping me move things from storage and stay over more (he's been here exactly twice), and it's been a full year, no dice. My father and brother have helped my more with my home situation, and I see them probably once a month, and they live 40 minutes away by car while my partner lives a 10 minute walk away. When we meet up, even if we're not going to his place, I have to go to him. Even small things like what we watch, what we listen to, what we eat together, seem to need his approval more so than mine.
As I briefly mentioned, I'm currently unemployed (working on it, have several interviews this week), and struggling with my finances. That said, I still usually need to spot him or split everything when we go out. I don't begrudge him help, if I had consistent work, I wouldn't care at all, but I expect that he would return the favor within reason. Last time we hung out, I asked if I could maybe pay him back twenty dollars we'd spent out together next week, after I'm able to make some money selling clothes or picking up temp shifts (Yes, I'm that broke right now, yikes). He brought up his own financial struggles (he is often broke though he's employed full time because he has debt and he's been taking off about one shift per week lately). That made me feel so crazy, because I've never asked him for help, and I'm in a really difficult situation right now. For context, I've had a lot of job instability in the past year and have still lent him hundreds of dollars just outright and in terms of buying our food, while I'm unemployed and unable to collect unemployment, and he has a full time job. He pays me back, but it really stresses me out that he asks me for money and to buy things I don't feel like I should spend money on, this is partially a boundary issue on my part. I have difficulty saying no to him even though it makes me really uncomfortable; it wouldn't make me so uncomfortable if I didn't feel kind of pressured into it, though I don't think he's doing that intentionally. I think I also feel some resentment that he's 18 years older than me and hasn't figured out how to manage his money a bit better. This also relates to our intimacy in that, he never buys contraception unless we're splitting it, and when we've needed plan b, though I've asked him to alternate with me on buying any form of contraception, and he agreed, he hasn't done so and made me feel out of line for asking, again, after he agreed to do so.
I'm tired of having no space to exist/feeling like an accessory, almost, but at the same time, I'm having a lot of difficulty breaking it off, because every time I've tried to in a meaningful way, I get hit with the "I don't want to lose you" and how our love for each other is "so pure." He'll drag me through endless conversations about whether we should "be in a serious relationship" and simultaneously never want to be without access to me in some way. I've said that he can't have both, and we've talked about taking breaks to work on ourselves, and nothing goes anywhere. He also has a habit of bringing this up when we're out in public when I've asked him specifically not to because it's a hard, emotional conversation that I'd like to have in private, and he'll get worked up about me getting emotional, and then act like I've started a fight by getting emotional. I've also discussed with him that in a lot of ways, this doesn't feel like a "serious" relationship despite the time we've spent in it, because he was really bizarre about meeting my family and me meeting his (I had to talk him into it this past Christmas, or else I wouldn't have met them, and I haven't seen them since, whereas his previous ex was very close with his family), we haven't celebrated either of our anniversaries (I actually scaled back his gift for valentine's this year because I didn't want to go through all the agita of being the only one who acknowledged that we had an anniversary we agreed on), and the only time he's put effort into dates were my birthdays, and at the very beginning of our relationship, whereas most times we went to shows in the past year or so, it was because I bought tickets. There's been loose talk of wanting to move in together, but I've already told him I don't expect that to ever happen (though he made me feel like I was being a bitch or trying to be nasty by saying so) because we can't go a week without him making me feel insane by bringing up the "should we be in a serious relationship" shit after a couple days we spent happily together without conflict. I didn't phrase it like that, I just said I have no expectation of it happening necessarily, and definitely not in the near future because of the way things are going.
I'm so confused by how he's affectionate one day and cold the next, how fights are somehow always my fault for being emotional (though he says he's never said that and doesn't mean to make me feel that way), and how his actions and words never line up/he always seems to have the right thing to say that makes me feel like I am being insane somehow, and that something will be different soon.
All my mental health and family struggles aside (not even cracking that open because this is already a lot), I think I'm really unhappy, but this is my first longer relationship, and I keep questioning whether my expectations are unreasonable, and whether the bad truly outweighs the things I've loved about him. I've outlined all my dislikes here, but there have been many times when I felt very loved and special with this man, like I'd found my best friend, and that's why I'm so unsure. I also think, as unproductive and infuriating as a lot of conversations about our relationship have been (I almost feel like I'm dealing with a teenager and not a man who's 18 years older than me), I really don't think he means to make me feel so unsure of myself and upset. Though I think he's self centered at times, I don't believe it's malicious.
TLDR; This is my first long term relationship and I think it needs to end, but our discussions of the relationship are unproductive/cyclical and really make me feel crazy. Are these reasonable things to take issue with? Should I break it off? How do you break it off when the person you're with is non-committal to being with you "seriously" but won't let you go?
submitted by margaretmorningwood to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
TLDR; I'm realizing I've lost a lot of my identity in this relationship, that it revolves pretty heavily around my partner's comfort, and that there's a pretty jarring lack of reciprocity in our relationship in a lot of ways (enumerated in the following novel, sorry this is so long).
I feel like our conversations are often one-sided, or there's not room for me to have feelings that aren't accommodating to him. Many of our conversations are retellings of my partners' run ins with famous musicians and past opportunities to be a career musician, successful pranks he pulled as a teenager, and listening to his old projects. That never used to bother me; now, I often feel like a receptacle for everything that feeds his ego. If I repeat a story, he tells me he's heard that like twenty times before, or sometimes, "why would you tell me that" if it's a story related to addiction (he has also experienced addiction, and I let him talk about that without judgement). I don't make him feel less than for sharing the same things he has already or for sharing difficult experiences, and I don't understand why he can't offer me the same.
I don't think he really knows a lot of sides of me that I view as integral to who I am. I realized recently, that though I was in art school before we met, was a prolific songwriter and poet, he hasn't expressed interest in seeing any of my art. I think he heard maybe one of my songs when we first started hanging out, and never expressed interest in what I was working on or the things I've made like I do for him. Since we've been dating, I've maybe written one poem, and stopped making art and music; I think that's partially to do with being very depressed in sobriety. It used to be such an integral part of my life and identity. His disinterest didn't really hit me until he reacted skeptically when I expressed interest in going back to school to be a graphic designer a couple of days ago. He asked if I even "had design experience" when I've completed three years of a fine arts degree and used to spend a lot of my free time illustrating and making prints. Also, regardless, why would you react so nastily to something your partner aspires to?
Lately, I've noticed that he often checks out when I start bringing up something he didn't bring up, or I just talk about what's on my mind. When he needs to vent about people at work or his roommate, or his home situation (he does have a lot of stressful health related things happening with his family, as do I), I let him, and I don't try to shut him down. Conversely, when I mention my anxiety over my job search (currently unemployed), he often says he "just wants to have a good day" and that he "doesn't know why I can't put it out of my mind" (because I have bills to pay, and it's anxiety provoking to struggle to find a job, and I thought I could vent to him like he does to me; it's not like I'm asking to make our whole day about my anxiety). He reacts the same way when I'm having a day where I'm feeling down, and I've expressed that sometimes I just need a little time to shake it off, but he always wonders if we "should be hanging out" because he "just wants to have a good day" and that makes me feel totally insane, because I feel like even in a relationship that's only platonic, I wouldn't expect a friend to sequester themselves from me for having negative feelings, I'd just hang with them and maybe do something that cheered them up until they felt a bit better. Is that unreasonable? I recently had a period of suicidal ideation, and the first time I saw him in person after telling him on the phone, he could only talk about how he could never go through that again. I understand concern, I express concern for him when I've spent his miserable days with him, but I'd never express that in a way that made it all about how I felt, at least never intentionally.
As far as the lack of reciprocity continues, when we spend time together, it's always at his apartment, though he lives with a roommate (who is a close friend of mine who he often expresses disdain for) and I live alone, and he frequently complains about her "always being there." When he moved in, I accompanied him to target to get supplies and helped him get all his art and gadgets set up. He said he'd help me make my place more homey by helping me move things from storage and stay over more (he's been here exactly twice), and it's been a full year, no dice. My father and brother have helped my more with my home situation, and I see them probably once a month, and they live 40 minutes away by car while my partner lives a 10 minute walk away. When we meet up, even if we're not going to his place, I have to go to him. Even small things like what we watch, what we listen to, what we eat together, seem to need his approval more so than mine.
As I briefly mentioned, I'm currently unemployed (working on it, have several interviews this week), and struggling with my finances. That said, I still usually need to spot him or split everything when we go out. I don't begrudge him help, if I had consistent work, I wouldn't care at all, but I expect that he would return the favor within reason. Last time we hung out, I asked if I could maybe pay him back twenty dollars we'd spent out together next week, after I'm able to make some money selling clothes or picking up temp shifts (Yes, I'm that broke right now, yikes). He brought up his own financial struggles (he is often broke though he's employed full time because he has debt and he's been taking off about one shift per week lately). That made me feel so crazy, because I've never asked him for help, and I'm in a really difficult situation right now. For context, I've had a lot of job instability in the past year and have still lent him hundreds of dollars just outright and in terms of buying our food, while I'm unemployed and unable to collect unemployment, and he has a full time job. He pays me back, but it really stresses me out that he asks me for money and to buy things I don't feel like I should spend money on, this is partially a boundary issue on my part. I have difficulty saying no to him even though it makes me really uncomfortable; it wouldn't make me so uncomfortable if I didn't feel kind of pressured into it, though I don't think he's doing that intentionally. I think I also feel some resentment that he's 18 years older than me and hasn't figured out how to manage his money a bit better. This also relates to our intimacy in that, he never buys contraception unless we're splitting it, and when we've needed plan b, though I've asked him to alternate with me on buying any form of contraception, and he agreed, he hasn't done so and made me feel out of line for asking, again, after he agreed to do so.
I'm tired of having no space to exist/feeling like an accessory, almost, but at the same time, I'm having a lot of difficulty breaking it off, because every time I've tried to in a meaningful way, I get hit with the "I don't want to lose you" and how our love for each other is "so pure." He'll drag me through endless conversations about whether we should "be in a serious relationship" and simultaneously never want to be without access to me in some way. I've said that he can't have both, and we've talked about taking breaks to work on ourselves, and nothing goes anywhere. He also has a habit of bringing this up when we're out in public when I've asked him specifically not to because it's a hard, emotional conversation that I'd like to have in private, and he'll get worked up about me getting emotional, and then act like I've started a fight by getting emotional. I've also discussed with him that in a lot of ways, this doesn't feel like a "serious" relationship despite the time we've spent in it, because he was really bizarre about meeting my family and me meeting his (I had to talk him into it this past Christmas, or else I wouldn't have met them, and I haven't seen them since, whereas his previous ex was very close with his family), we haven't celebrated either of our anniversaries (I actually scaled back his gift for valentine's this year because I didn't want to go through all the agita of being the only one who acknowledged that we had an anniversary we agreed on), and the only time he's put effort into dates were my birthdays, and at the very beginning of our relationship, whereas most times we went to shows in the past year or so, it was because I bought tickets. There's been loose talk of wanting to move in together, but I've already told him I don't expect that to ever happen (though he made me feel like I was being a bitch or trying to be nasty by saying so) because we can't go a week without him making me feel insane by bringing up the "should we be in a serious relationship" shit after a couple days we spent happily together without conflict. I didn't phrase it like that, I just said I have no expectation of it happening necessarily, and definitely not in the near future because of the way things are going.
I'm so confused by how he's affectionate one day and cold the next, how fights are somehow always my fault for being emotional (though he says he's never said that and doesn't mean to make me feel that way), and how his actions and words never line up/he always seems to have the right thing to say that makes me feel like I am being insane somehow, and that something will be different soon.
All my mental health and family struggles aside (not even cracking that open because this is already a lot), I think I'm really unhappy, but this is my first longer relationship, and I keep questioning whether my expectations are unreasonable, and whether the bad truly outweighs the things I've loved about him. I've outlined all my dislikes here, but there have been many times when I felt very loved and special with this man, like I'd found my best friend, and that's why I'm so unsure. I also think, as unproductive and infuriating as a lot of conversations about our relationship have been (I almost feel like I'm dealing with a teenager and not a man who's 18 years older than me), I really don't think he means to make me feel so unsure of myself and upset. Though I think he's self centered at times, I don't believe it's malicious.
TLDR; This is my first long term relationship and I think it needs to end, but our discussions of the relationship are unproductive/cyclical and really make me feel crazy. Are these reasonable things to take issue with? Should I break it off? How do you break it off when the person you're with is non-committal to being with you "seriously" but won't let you go?
2024.05.26 07:12 Powerful_Total_5457 AITAH for told my wife that she might not make a good mother?
english is not my native language.
to begin with, my wife (let's call her claire) is the most caring, intelligent, and beautiful woman i know. i really love her; i want to spend my old age with her, and i cannot deny that she is a good person and has many positive traits. however, i sincerely believe that she should not become a mother because of her strange and even creepy relationship with her parents.
when we first met, i was a little confused that claire was very reluctant to talk about her family and called her mother and stepfather (who raised her from infancy) by their first names and not "mom" and "dad," but in the end, i decided that each family has its own rules, and this isn't my business. at that time, she never celebrated birthdays at home, lived with friends on vacation, and generally avoided any meetings with her parents in every possible way. i can't even remember a single time when they texted for more than three minutes or talked on the phone. even then, it all seemed very strange to me, but claire didn't want to talk about it.
a few years later, she cut off all communication with all members of her family except her younger sister. when they tried to contact her, she silently blocked them. she never explained the reasons to me, but judging by what her sister told me, claire hated her stepfather from childhood because he physically punished her and could not forgive her mother for marrying him. i DON'T condone such parenting methods, but hey, when we were growing up, everyone was physically punished; it was normal, and no one hated their parents for it. she would do the same if she were in their place, and it's just immature to condemn them for it. she's an adult, and it's amazing to me that a reasonable person like her puts childhood grudges above family. but claire flatly refused to invite her parents to our wedding and even offered to end the engagement when i insisted on at least sending them a photo from the ceremony (they never received anything).
a couple of years ago, when her sister told claire that their mother had died, she just shrugged, said "bye," and went to watch the show. it came as a shock to me, actually. actions are one thing, but emotions are another. no one can control it. she can stay away from her family if she want to, but there's nothing normal about not feeling at least the slightest bit of grief when your mother dies. even bad parents are usually loved by their children.
so when she suggested i have a baby, i said it was a bad idea. i listed all the things i wrote about here and told her that i just didn't think she was cut out to be a mother. she's still a good person. she's a wonderful woman. but she is so immature that she can just shrug her shoulders when something happens to our hypothetical child if he does something that will not suit her. she has been in therapy for years but still refuses to call her mother "mom." she doesn't consider the mother-child bond important. it was acceptable for her to leave an elderly woman. she could have abandoned the baby, too, if she thought it was necessary. it's just dangerous.
as you can understand, she didn't react to my words in the best way. i don't want her to leave, and i don't think she's a monster (as she said). i want to fix everything; i just think there are things in the world that can't be trusted with her. you can't have children when you're so immature.
was i wrong to present my thoughts in this way?
submitted by Powerful_Total_5457 to AITAH [link] [comments]
to begin with, my wife (let's call her claire) is the most caring, intelligent, and beautiful woman i know. i really love her; i want to spend my old age with her, and i cannot deny that she is a good person and has many positive traits. however, i sincerely believe that she should not become a mother because of her strange and even creepy relationship with her parents.
when we first met, i was a little confused that claire was very reluctant to talk about her family and called her mother and stepfather (who raised her from infancy) by their first names and not "mom" and "dad," but in the end, i decided that each family has its own rules, and this isn't my business. at that time, she never celebrated birthdays at home, lived with friends on vacation, and generally avoided any meetings with her parents in every possible way. i can't even remember a single time when they texted for more than three minutes or talked on the phone. even then, it all seemed very strange to me, but claire didn't want to talk about it.
a few years later, she cut off all communication with all members of her family except her younger sister. when they tried to contact her, she silently blocked them. she never explained the reasons to me, but judging by what her sister told me, claire hated her stepfather from childhood because he physically punished her and could not forgive her mother for marrying him. i DON'T condone such parenting methods, but hey, when we were growing up, everyone was physically punished; it was normal, and no one hated their parents for it. she would do the same if she were in their place, and it's just immature to condemn them for it. she's an adult, and it's amazing to me that a reasonable person like her puts childhood grudges above family. but claire flatly refused to invite her parents to our wedding and even offered to end the engagement when i insisted on at least sending them a photo from the ceremony (they never received anything).
a couple of years ago, when her sister told claire that their mother had died, she just shrugged, said "bye," and went to watch the show. it came as a shock to me, actually. actions are one thing, but emotions are another. no one can control it. she can stay away from her family if she want to, but there's nothing normal about not feeling at least the slightest bit of grief when your mother dies. even bad parents are usually loved by their children.
so when she suggested i have a baby, i said it was a bad idea. i listed all the things i wrote about here and told her that i just didn't think she was cut out to be a mother. she's still a good person. she's a wonderful woman. but she is so immature that she can just shrug her shoulders when something happens to our hypothetical child if he does something that will not suit her. she has been in therapy for years but still refuses to call her mother "mom." she doesn't consider the mother-child bond important. it was acceptable for her to leave an elderly woman. she could have abandoned the baby, too, if she thought it was necessary. it's just dangerous.
as you can understand, she didn't react to my words in the best way. i don't want her to leave, and i don't think she's a monster (as she said). i want to fix everything; i just think there are things in the world that can't be trusted with her. you can't have children when you're so immature.
was i wrong to present my thoughts in this way?
2024.05.26 07:11 cheorry_ In need of advice on my situationship
I (18f) am in a sort of situationship with this guy that I met on Reddit. We’ve been talking for the past 8 months or so, and I really like him I truly do like him and I have very intense feelings for him. When I wake up he’s the first thing I think about and I constantly want to just be by his side however sometimes I just can’t shake the feeling that the connection we have will never grow to become something official.
For one we live states away, and we have a pretty big age gap, but he’s a very kind person and I find him very admirable. I always compliment him and tell him how amazing and special he is and I always give him these random declarations of how I feel towards him. I do as much as I can to show him that I’m serious about him and that I care about him but he never does any of these things back. I mean he doesn’t always compliment me the way I want him to, and he doesn’t ever really ask to call with me, I’m always the one who initiates the calling and conversations in general. He leaves me on read a lot of the time and that’s always annoyed me but then again he is a busy guy.
I’ve expressed to him that I want something serious as some point and when I’ve brought this up he seems to be on the same page and has said that he does see me as a potential future serious partner but you know actions speak louder than words. When I told him that I got accepted to a university that was literally in his state his reaction was so underwhelming he said and I quote “oh yay” that hurt me so bad it was such a bad reaction. I just didn’t feel like he even wanted me to finally meet him or something.
I want something serious with him and I just want to be loved more than anything I just want to finally be happy with a man that will cherish me and I want him to be that man but sometimes his disinterest towards me makes me feel like he only sees me as a friend and I hate that.
I hate that I have to pretend that certain things don’t rub me the wrong way and hurt me. For example he’s planning a trip to a certain country to attend the wedding of a friend and he’s planning on taking his ex as his date to the wedding. His ex so happens to live in the country where the wedding will be taking place hence him planning to take her. He says that they’re just friends now but this pains me beyond comprehension and the thought of him going to a wedding with his ex makes me feel nauseous but I have to pretend like it’s all cool and that I’m fine with it when in reality it makes me want to jump off a building.
I just hate that I feel like I care more about him than he does about me.
TL;DR - I don’t think my situationship will ever turn into a real relationship which has me at a loss.
submitted by cheorry_ to relationships [link] [comments]
For one we live states away, and we have a pretty big age gap, but he’s a very kind person and I find him very admirable. I always compliment him and tell him how amazing and special he is and I always give him these random declarations of how I feel towards him. I do as much as I can to show him that I’m serious about him and that I care about him but he never does any of these things back. I mean he doesn’t always compliment me the way I want him to, and he doesn’t ever really ask to call with me, I’m always the one who initiates the calling and conversations in general. He leaves me on read a lot of the time and that’s always annoyed me but then again he is a busy guy.
I’ve expressed to him that I want something serious as some point and when I’ve brought this up he seems to be on the same page and has said that he does see me as a potential future serious partner but you know actions speak louder than words. When I told him that I got accepted to a university that was literally in his state his reaction was so underwhelming he said and I quote “oh yay” that hurt me so bad it was such a bad reaction. I just didn’t feel like he even wanted me to finally meet him or something.
I want something serious with him and I just want to be loved more than anything I just want to finally be happy with a man that will cherish me and I want him to be that man but sometimes his disinterest towards me makes me feel like he only sees me as a friend and I hate that.
I hate that I have to pretend that certain things don’t rub me the wrong way and hurt me. For example he’s planning a trip to a certain country to attend the wedding of a friend and he’s planning on taking his ex as his date to the wedding. His ex so happens to live in the country where the wedding will be taking place hence him planning to take her. He says that they’re just friends now but this pains me beyond comprehension and the thought of him going to a wedding with his ex makes me feel nauseous but I have to pretend like it’s all cool and that I’m fine with it when in reality it makes me want to jump off a building.
I just hate that I feel like I care more about him than he does about me.
TL;DR - I don’t think my situationship will ever turn into a real relationship which has me at a loss.
2024.05.26 07:10 suppixi AITA for ending the friendship?
A month before my elopement, my best friend (30F) of 10 years (who was part of my bridal party) told me I was taking away from her elopement because me and my fiance were getting eloped on the same mountain as her when she got eloped a couple years ago. We had our own personal reasons we wanted to be on that mountain and we wanted our friends to be there because they are like our family. I thought she would be excited for me, and she was the first person I told about our plans. A month before the elopement, she calls me and says that she feels upset about how we didn’t ask her if we can get eloped on the same mountain that she got eloped on and by us having our elopement there, we were taking away meaning from her day because it was her and her partner’s special spot. She told me she thought I was shoving my elopement plans in her face, bringing all of our friends there when we are already planning a bigger wedding next year, and that she didn’t have a big wedding. She continued to say that I was copying her elopement and that it was like getting the same wedding dress as her. Our elopement location was on the same mountain, in a totally different location, had a different back drop of mountains, and was during the winter with snow. Hers was during the summer. I told her that didn’t realize it was on the same mountain because hers was planned so privately and I didn’t want her to feel hurt. So my partner and I considered changing our elopement plans and location (this is weeks before the elopement after we made our hotel accommodations and our friends were going to make a weekend out of it). Eventually we decided to keep our plans because it felt true and authentic to our relationship. I later found out that they didn’t actually get eloped there. They took elopement photos and said their personal vows there, then got eloped in the city with only their immediate family members present. She didn’t end up coming to my elopement because I told her that I didn’t feel comfortable having her there because it felt weird to me that she was going to be having all these feelings and thoughts during a special moment in our lives. I also asked her to be a guest instead of a bridesmaid. This brought so much stress to the planning and ruined my excitement for the day. When I got to the mountain, I cried because of not having a dear friend there and due to all the stress and sadness she made around something so special to me. Now it’s been a few months after the elopement, and I’ve been hearing that she is still upset about this and that she is the one who is hurt in the friendship. I decided to end our friendship because it was clear to me that she wasn’t going to reflect deeper and gain more self awareness around this situation. Am I missing something here and did I do something wrong to hurt my (former) friend? Should I have never ended the friendship at all? Should she still be invited to the wedding?
submitted by suppixi to AmItheAsshole [link] [comments]
2024.05.26 07:09 Weak_Psychology_6095 Friends came back from the dead and I've blocked them
Hi sorry I'm new and I need to vent.
I found an old friend of mine working in one of the town's local shops the other day. I honestly thought they had KO themselves seven years ago.
I had been friends with this person since I was in primary school. Our friendship wasn't very close and as we grew up into adulthood and they started transitioning and things started getting toxic. Their mental health deteriated and I offered as much support I was able to. I might add I suffered from mental issues aswell, which I've got no support for.
This person constantly made bad decisions and complained about how rubbish people were while being a rubbish person themselves.
Maybe I stayed around from the sence of loyalty, maybe cos I know how it feels to be alone without anyone there for you. I honestly don't know.
Anyway this friend was having a break down. Threatening to KO themselves. I tried everything I knew to help, they refused everything. I finally had to give up because I couldn't do anymore. I'm not trained for this and it was majorly bad for my mental health. So I told them 'If they were going to do it just do it.' Our contact got cut and I hadn't heard from the since. Therefore I thought they had KOed and I accepted it and accepted their blood on my hands. You know some people just can't be help and honestly I was pretty relieved. I went through the grieving process, worked through the trauma, even was finally able to confide in my partner.
Two days ago when I visited my local town to pick up something from the pharmacy and a few other supplies. In one of the shops I visited; at the till, they were there behind the till. Naturally i was shocked. After telling them I thought they were dead. They laughed at my reaction which was pretty regular for the situation. They acted like nothing had happened. We reconnect on FB and they just bombarded me with chat, questions, asking for advice on things for their transition. (Yes they were still transitioning). During this bombardment they blatantly forget about all the things I had done for them over the years of our friendship, and showed absolutely no remorse for letting me thinking they were dead for the last seven years.
They asked me to be a key part of their wedding, going through details and ideas, asking for advice. They didn't even have a patner to marry. It was just totally overkill
Yesterday morning after rest and the chance to finally process. I was really ticked off by this. Their blatant lack of remorse, their lack of empathy, the audacity in think everything will go back to how things were. It was so disrespectful and I wasn't going to accept this behaviour.
I told them what I thought, how I felt and they just fobbed me off. So I told them 'goodbye' and blocked them.
You might ask why I didn't try to contact them during the seven years.
I honestly thought they were dead, there's no point in trying to contact the dead
Yes I know I have my own toxic traits, but I am working on them. One of which is that I let toxic people into my life. Im so relieved that I've cut them off. Don't get me wrong I am happy that they are alive. I just don't want them in my life.
submitted by Weak_Psychology_6095 to friendship [link] [comments]
I found an old friend of mine working in one of the town's local shops the other day. I honestly thought they had KO themselves seven years ago.
I had been friends with this person since I was in primary school. Our friendship wasn't very close and as we grew up into adulthood and they started transitioning and things started getting toxic. Their mental health deteriated and I offered as much support I was able to. I might add I suffered from mental issues aswell, which I've got no support for.
This person constantly made bad decisions and complained about how rubbish people were while being a rubbish person themselves.
Maybe I stayed around from the sence of loyalty, maybe cos I know how it feels to be alone without anyone there for you. I honestly don't know.
Anyway this friend was having a break down. Threatening to KO themselves. I tried everything I knew to help, they refused everything. I finally had to give up because I couldn't do anymore. I'm not trained for this and it was majorly bad for my mental health. So I told them 'If they were going to do it just do it.' Our contact got cut and I hadn't heard from the since. Therefore I thought they had KOed and I accepted it and accepted their blood on my hands. You know some people just can't be help and honestly I was pretty relieved. I went through the grieving process, worked through the trauma, even was finally able to confide in my partner.
Two days ago when I visited my local town to pick up something from the pharmacy and a few other supplies. In one of the shops I visited; at the till, they were there behind the till. Naturally i was shocked. After telling them I thought they were dead. They laughed at my reaction which was pretty regular for the situation. They acted like nothing had happened. We reconnect on FB and they just bombarded me with chat, questions, asking for advice on things for their transition. (Yes they were still transitioning). During this bombardment they blatantly forget about all the things I had done for them over the years of our friendship, and showed absolutely no remorse for letting me thinking they were dead for the last seven years.
They asked me to be a key part of their wedding, going through details and ideas, asking for advice. They didn't even have a patner to marry. It was just totally overkill
Yesterday morning after rest and the chance to finally process. I was really ticked off by this. Their blatant lack of remorse, their lack of empathy, the audacity in think everything will go back to how things were. It was so disrespectful and I wasn't going to accept this behaviour.
I told them what I thought, how I felt and they just fobbed me off. So I told them 'goodbye' and blocked them.
You might ask why I didn't try to contact them during the seven years.
I honestly thought they were dead, there's no point in trying to contact the dead
Yes I know I have my own toxic traits, but I am working on them. One of which is that I let toxic people into my life. Im so relieved that I've cut them off. Don't get me wrong I am happy that they are alive. I just don't want them in my life.
2024.05.26 07:09 dingydani DLC download code?
Hi friends! My husband is counting down days until the dlc comes out.
For our 10 year anniversary I got the statue of Messmer and the dlc for him. He keeps asking me for the download code and from what I can find online it says that it’ll be emailed when the statue ships.
For some reason he thinks it should be available now to input and it would download the minute it’s available. I’m a gamer but not to the extreme of “the minute it’s available” - just to literally having my 2 year old middle name be Elden.
When will the dlc code be available to those of us who preordered at the end of February?
Thank you all and I hope we all have incredible middle of the night Elden ring play time!
submitted by dingydani to Eldenring [link] [comments]
For our 10 year anniversary I got the statue of Messmer and the dlc for him. He keeps asking me for the download code and from what I can find online it says that it’ll be emailed when the statue ships.
For some reason he thinks it should be available now to input and it would download the minute it’s available. I’m a gamer but not to the extreme of “the minute it’s available” - just to literally having my 2 year old middle name be Elden.
When will the dlc code be available to those of us who preordered at the end of February?
Thank you all and I hope we all have incredible middle of the night Elden ring play time!
2024.05.26 07:07 Canineazfine Encouraging words please? Similar stories? What did you do?
I (female, bride) am pretty distraught with who won’t be coming to our wedding. Mind you many of the people not attending have known about the wedding date since the end of last summer when it was decided. The date was given to those who needed to know (bridesmaids/groomsmen, immediate family, and close friends who live nearby) by this time and invitations were sent out to everyone else in February of this year. Unfortunately life happened I guess which means much of family and friends will not be coming.
Two of our siblings are pregnant and due within days of the wedding. Normally I would be happy about a new baby, and I still am but it is really sucky that they are due within days of the wedding and both siblings have admitted to us that they didn’t want more kids right now but weren’t practicing safe sex. Two of three groomsmen have babies due within days of the wedding, both of which were parents who we knew were actively trying at the beginning of this year, but timing just worked out that babies are now due the same time as the wedding. With the possibility of our siblings going into labor during the wedding time frame, it is likely that at least one set of parents will not show.
My grandmother passed away a couple months ago, we all kinda knew it was coming. So not a shock per se. She had dementia but she did remember that I was getting married this year. Every morning she would ask me if she was going to make it to the wedding. I said yes every time, though Jesus called her home sooner. My grandfather whom I was close to, will not be attending due to his own fault. He sexually assaulted me after my grandmothers death when I was collecting some of her things from their house. So he is not attending, is not allowed on the venue’s property, and there is a safety plan in place in case he decides to attempt to show up.
My three bridesmaids may not show as they are all claiming finance trouble. Even though I have offered my house so they don’t have to pay for a hotel, offered to buy dresses, and offered to pay for their husbands (and them of course) to have their own hotel room each if they didn’t want to stay at my house. Two have also said they aren’t asking off of work because they don’t want to use their PTO for just one day (the wedding is a Saturday so rehearsal is Friday at dinner time, thus they would be asking off for a couple hours for early leave that day to attend the dinner).
If it was uncle Joe from Alaska that wasn’t able to attend, I wouldn’t be as upset. But it’s most of our immediate and close family, as well as close friends who are important to us that will not be attending. Am I crazy for being upset about this? Do I just need to get over myself?
submitted by Canineazfine to weddingplanning [link] [comments]
Two of our siblings are pregnant and due within days of the wedding. Normally I would be happy about a new baby, and I still am but it is really sucky that they are due within days of the wedding and both siblings have admitted to us that they didn’t want more kids right now but weren’t practicing safe sex. Two of three groomsmen have babies due within days of the wedding, both of which were parents who we knew were actively trying at the beginning of this year, but timing just worked out that babies are now due the same time as the wedding. With the possibility of our siblings going into labor during the wedding time frame, it is likely that at least one set of parents will not show.
My grandmother passed away a couple months ago, we all kinda knew it was coming. So not a shock per se. She had dementia but she did remember that I was getting married this year. Every morning she would ask me if she was going to make it to the wedding. I said yes every time, though Jesus called her home sooner. My grandfather whom I was close to, will not be attending due to his own fault. He sexually assaulted me after my grandmothers death when I was collecting some of her things from their house. So he is not attending, is not allowed on the venue’s property, and there is a safety plan in place in case he decides to attempt to show up.
My three bridesmaids may not show as they are all claiming finance trouble. Even though I have offered my house so they don’t have to pay for a hotel, offered to buy dresses, and offered to pay for their husbands (and them of course) to have their own hotel room each if they didn’t want to stay at my house. Two have also said they aren’t asking off of work because they don’t want to use their PTO for just one day (the wedding is a Saturday so rehearsal is Friday at dinner time, thus they would be asking off for a couple hours for early leave that day to attend the dinner).
If it was uncle Joe from Alaska that wasn’t able to attend, I wouldn’t be as upset. But it’s most of our immediate and close family, as well as close friends who are important to us that will not be attending. Am I crazy for being upset about this? Do I just need to get over myself?
2024.05.26 07:07 aratamabashi Review: Goodyard hair custom order - part 1
 | hey all submitted by aratamabashi to HairSystem [link] [comments] my current system doesn't need replacing. it's a tank, barely ever sheds, even though i use regular combs and brushes (not the wide tooth comb anymore). but even after thinning out, its still too dense and i want a proper hairline, as i always go exposed. so my intent it to keep it as a backup (honestly it feels like i could get two years out of it at this rate - it's 9 months old as it stands) and after wearing since last september and learning about systems, i wanted to order the next one to my own spec. i thought this review would be helpful for people who dont know the process. after seeing too many posts about the decline in quality with lordhair, and even the odd post about lavivid (and the cust of their custom systems), after googling a bit i decided to try goodyard. i sent an enquiry email and 6 hours later got a reply, and a whatsapp number in order to chat with them about my requirements. have to say, the guy i was dealing with was really good to deal with; friendly and professional. obvs being chinese, you need to be mindful how to write - avoid sayings, local vocab, puns and metaphors etc, because they dont translate and it can cause confusion. but yeah, he was very attentive and quick to answer questions i had :) he always double-checked the details with me. as you probably know, i tend to not shut up about daily wear. heat and sweating arent an issue with it, so i went full poly with 2.5cm lace front, almost straight, freestyle, 10% grey, bleached knots on the lace, #3 dark brown (it will lighten). A contour. turnaround was about 8 weeks which was within the realm they quoted. ended up costing AUD325 including delivery. when i opened the package, there was a good quality, branded, kind of zip llock pouch. inside was the system, and some printed paraphernalia. they hair itself seems fine; there were no weird odours. the base looks well-made. obviously still need to get it on my head but up to this point, the experience has been really good, and im really looking forward to a decent looking hairline at last. up to this point i would recommend them, and would be happy to order with them again. any questions, feel free. obviously a big raggedy as it hasnt been tamed yet lace, direct sunlight |
2024.05.26 07:01 SharkEva I (24F) told the man I have been taking to (30M) that I am nervous to meet him because I’m overweight.
I am not the OOP. The OOP is u/Consistentthrowaway4 posting in TwoHotTakes
Concluded as per OOP
1 update - Medium
Original - 22nd May 2024
Update - 23rd May 2024
I (24F) told the man I have been taking to (30M) that I am nervous to meet him because I’m overweight.
I 24F have been talking with a man well call him T 30M for about a month. We have not met yet in person and are supposed to finally meet in the beginning of June. An hour ago, I sent him a message telling him that I am nervous to meet him because I am a bit overweight.
For context, about 1.5 years ago I ended things with my ex fiancé. The breakup was very messy and mentally taxing. I entered a depressive state. I stopped working out, gained about 60lbs, I was vaping and depended on alcohol much more than I should have. I also didn’t feel like myself at all and was very unhappy. Luckily, I have an amazing family, friends and a pretty dope therapist. Slowly, I’ve been able to pull myself out of my depression rut and by the start of this year I was feeling much like my old self again.
Feeling better, I decided to really grind down on breaking these bad habits. I quit vaping 3 months ago and about 1 month ago I started going to the gym consistently. My relationship with alcohol is much healthier as well. Now I’m trying to clean up my diet to lose weight so I can feel confident in my skin again.
I really had no intentions of dating seriously until I met my goals but here we are. At the begging of this month I was bored and swiping on hinge and I happened to match with T. He asked to follow me on instagram and I didn’t think much would happen. The first few days we chatted it was sparse and nothing of interest. Plus he told me he would be out of town in another country until June. Then everything shifted, we had one really good conversation and I found myself looking forward to each notification I received from him. He’s sweet, kind and really funny. He remembers small details such as my favorite flowers.
Today he even sent me a photo of a plate with my favorite flower and said it reminded him of me. He’s also told me he already likes me on numerous occasions. We send photos of each other back and forth. He has seen what I look like, but I don’t think he realizes I’m a bit chubby. Mainly in the arm and stomach area. We are supposed to meet when he comes back and I started to get nervous that he would no longer be attracted to me.
Which is something that has never bothered me before (I have still been casual with men throughout this). I also know that I am pretty and so much more than looks But, I have genuine feelings for this man and I am afraid of his rejection. I sent him a message a few hours ago with many of the same details I included here. I’m really nervous for his response and it’s getting close to morning in the country he’s currently at. I want to hear advice from those who may have been in a similar situation.
Comments
Constantine28
My girlfriend felt like you (probably with some extra anxieties too), it took several months for us to meet in person, when we did, I was smitten. We’ve been together almost 2 years now. You’ll never know if you don’t try!
test_test_1_2_3
He’s seems photos of you and you’ve warned him how you’re feeling insecure about your weight. If he’s still keen to meet you then you just need to get out your own way and meet him.
You’re never going to get over insecurity and anxiety without taking some uncomfortable steps, you will never feel 100% secure or ready to step outside your comfort zone. The only way to get over it is to do it.
You also don’t need to get yourself ‘perfect’ before you consider having another relationship. For a start, you’ll never feel that way because you’ll keep moving the goalposts but mostly you just don’t need to. Losing a bit more weight won’t eliminate insecurity, getting out there and proving to yourself that nothing is as bad as it is in your head will.
hairymouse
Really, he knows you are overweight and doesn’t care.
BeefInGR
Truth is, a lot of guys don't. Don't get me wrong, plenty of them do. But if you're honest about sizes and they still want to meet, then meet!
And if we're being really honest here, some guys prefer a bit of extra meat on the bones...
Update - 1 day later
Hi guys, I do have an update for everyone. I wanted to start by thanking everyone for the very kind comments and encouraging messages. I really appreciate everyone who took the time to read this post and give thoughtful advice.
I also wanted to address all of the photos on my hinge profile and instagram are from the past 8 months. None of my old photos from when I was thinner are present on either platform. However, I do feel these photos are more flattering angels of myself.
Now onto the update. An hour after my intial post he did see and reply to my message. I got super nervous and took some time to calm my nerves before opening and replying. To my absolute delight it was very thoughtful and kind message.
“Op. You were considering waiting and making excuses not to meet???
You’re beyond fine. I appreciate the vulnerability, but you didn’t need to say all of this. However, since you did I’ll say this back. Wherever you’re at is fine! You’re beautiful, and there’s no need to worry. I’m not worried one way or another. Lifestyle, chemistry, and compatibility are what’s important to me when looking at who I’m interested in seeing… not if they’re some arbitrary societal standard of weight or beauty.
If there’s anything I can do to ease that worry, let me know.”
We ended up talking until about 4 in the morning and I’m happy to say that we will be meeting when he is back in the beginning of June.
Thank you so much again! I will maybe give another update in the future here soon.
Comments
Competitive-Baby-702
Thanks for this update! :) I find that people usually react favorably to the truth, not so much when they feel deceived after the fact. I hope your meeting is absolutely splendid!
bleedingdaylight0
Good luck to you! I made excuses not to meet my husband back when we were talking online due to concerns about my weight but boy, was he annoyingly persistent! I finally snapped at him that I’d meet him, but he shouldn’t expect a Barbie doll. He said that he didn’t care if I weighed 100 lbs or 1,000 lbs. Best. Decision. Ever. We celebrate our 17th wedding anniversary this year.
I am not the OOP. Please do not harass the OOP.
Please remember the No Brigading Rule and to be civil in the comments
submitted by SharkEva to BORUpdates [link] [comments]
Concluded as per OOP
1 update - Medium
Original - 22nd May 2024
Update - 23rd May 2024
I (24F) told the man I have been taking to (30M) that I am nervous to meet him because I’m overweight.
I 24F have been talking with a man well call him T 30M for about a month. We have not met yet in person and are supposed to finally meet in the beginning of June. An hour ago, I sent him a message telling him that I am nervous to meet him because I am a bit overweight.
For context, about 1.5 years ago I ended things with my ex fiancé. The breakup was very messy and mentally taxing. I entered a depressive state. I stopped working out, gained about 60lbs, I was vaping and depended on alcohol much more than I should have. I also didn’t feel like myself at all and was very unhappy. Luckily, I have an amazing family, friends and a pretty dope therapist. Slowly, I’ve been able to pull myself out of my depression rut and by the start of this year I was feeling much like my old self again.
Feeling better, I decided to really grind down on breaking these bad habits. I quit vaping 3 months ago and about 1 month ago I started going to the gym consistently. My relationship with alcohol is much healthier as well. Now I’m trying to clean up my diet to lose weight so I can feel confident in my skin again.
I really had no intentions of dating seriously until I met my goals but here we are. At the begging of this month I was bored and swiping on hinge and I happened to match with T. He asked to follow me on instagram and I didn’t think much would happen. The first few days we chatted it was sparse and nothing of interest. Plus he told me he would be out of town in another country until June. Then everything shifted, we had one really good conversation and I found myself looking forward to each notification I received from him. He’s sweet, kind and really funny. He remembers small details such as my favorite flowers.
Today he even sent me a photo of a plate with my favorite flower and said it reminded him of me. He’s also told me he already likes me on numerous occasions. We send photos of each other back and forth. He has seen what I look like, but I don’t think he realizes I’m a bit chubby. Mainly in the arm and stomach area. We are supposed to meet when he comes back and I started to get nervous that he would no longer be attracted to me.
Which is something that has never bothered me before (I have still been casual with men throughout this). I also know that I am pretty and so much more than looks But, I have genuine feelings for this man and I am afraid of his rejection. I sent him a message a few hours ago with many of the same details I included here. I’m really nervous for his response and it’s getting close to morning in the country he’s currently at. I want to hear advice from those who may have been in a similar situation.
Comments
Constantine28
My girlfriend felt like you (probably with some extra anxieties too), it took several months for us to meet in person, when we did, I was smitten. We’ve been together almost 2 years now. You’ll never know if you don’t try!
test_test_1_2_3
He’s seems photos of you and you’ve warned him how you’re feeling insecure about your weight. If he’s still keen to meet you then you just need to get out your own way and meet him.
You’re never going to get over insecurity and anxiety without taking some uncomfortable steps, you will never feel 100% secure or ready to step outside your comfort zone. The only way to get over it is to do it.
You also don’t need to get yourself ‘perfect’ before you consider having another relationship. For a start, you’ll never feel that way because you’ll keep moving the goalposts but mostly you just don’t need to. Losing a bit more weight won’t eliminate insecurity, getting out there and proving to yourself that nothing is as bad as it is in your head will.
hairymouse
Really, he knows you are overweight and doesn’t care.
BeefInGR
Truth is, a lot of guys don't. Don't get me wrong, plenty of them do. But if you're honest about sizes and they still want to meet, then meet!
And if we're being really honest here, some guys prefer a bit of extra meat on the bones...
Update - 1 day later
Hi guys, I do have an update for everyone. I wanted to start by thanking everyone for the very kind comments and encouraging messages. I really appreciate everyone who took the time to read this post and give thoughtful advice.
I also wanted to address all of the photos on my hinge profile and instagram are from the past 8 months. None of my old photos from when I was thinner are present on either platform. However, I do feel these photos are more flattering angels of myself.
Now onto the update. An hour after my intial post he did see and reply to my message. I got super nervous and took some time to calm my nerves before opening and replying. To my absolute delight it was very thoughtful and kind message.
“Op. You were considering waiting and making excuses not to meet???
You’re beyond fine. I appreciate the vulnerability, but you didn’t need to say all of this. However, since you did I’ll say this back. Wherever you’re at is fine! You’re beautiful, and there’s no need to worry. I’m not worried one way or another. Lifestyle, chemistry, and compatibility are what’s important to me when looking at who I’m interested in seeing… not if they’re some arbitrary societal standard of weight or beauty.
If there’s anything I can do to ease that worry, let me know.”
We ended up talking until about 4 in the morning and I’m happy to say that we will be meeting when he is back in the beginning of June.
Thank you so much again! I will maybe give another update in the future here soon.
Comments
Competitive-Baby-702
Thanks for this update! :) I find that people usually react favorably to the truth, not so much when they feel deceived after the fact. I hope your meeting is absolutely splendid!
bleedingdaylight0
Good luck to you! I made excuses not to meet my husband back when we were talking online due to concerns about my weight but boy, was he annoyingly persistent! I finally snapped at him that I’d meet him, but he shouldn’t expect a Barbie doll. He said that he didn’t care if I weighed 100 lbs or 1,000 lbs. Best. Decision. Ever. We celebrate our 17th wedding anniversary this year.
OOP:
Wow this is so sweet! Congrats on 17 years!!!!
I am not the OOP. Please do not harass the OOP.
Please remember the No Brigading Rule and to be civil in the comments
2024.05.26 06:56 suppixi Best friend fallout before wedding: WWYD
A month before my elopement, my best friend of 10 years (who was part of my bridal party) told me I was taking away from her elopement because me and my fiance were getting eloped on the same mountain as her. When she got eloped a couple years ago, she only wanted it to be with her partner and immediate family. I didn’t even realize it was on the same mountain my partner and I were planning to get eloped on because hers was planned so privately. We had our own personal reasons we wanted to be on that mountain and we wanted our friends to be there because they are like our family. I thought she would be excited for me, and she was the first person I told about our plans. She seemed happy for us but a month before the elopement, she calls me and says that she felt upset about how we didn’t ask her if we can get eloped on the same mountain that she got eloped on and by us having our elopement there, we were taking away meaning from her elopement because it was her and her partner’s special spot. She continued to say that she thought I was shoving my elopement plans in her face and bringing all of our friends there when we are already planning a bigger wedding next year and that she didn’t have a big wedding. I told her I wouldn’t be that petty and didn’t even remember where she got eloped. She continued to say that I was copying her elopement and that it was like getting the same wedding dress as her. Our elopement location was on the same mountain, in a totally different location, had a different back drop of mountains, and was during the winter with snow. Hers was during the summer. I told her I didn’t want her to feel hurt and so my partner and I considered changing our elopement plans and location (again this is weeks before the wedding after we made our hotel accommodations and our friends were going to make a weekend out of it). Eventually we decided to keep our plans because it felt true and authentic to our relationship. I later found out that they didn’t actually get eloped there. They took elopement photos and said their personal vows there, then got eloped in the city with only their immediate family members present. She didn’t end up coming to my elopement because I told her that I didn’t feel comfortable having her there because it felt weird to me that she was going to be having all these feelings and thoughts during a special moment in our lives. I also asked her to be a guest instead of a bridesmaid. This brought so much stress to the planning and ruined my excitement for the day. When I got to the mountain, I cried because of not having a dear friend there and due to all the stress and sadness she made around something so special to me. Now it’s been a few months after the elopement, and I’ve been hearing that she is still upset about this and that she is the one who is hurt in the friendship. She has yet to take accountability for how she affected this special moment in my life and the hurtful things she said. I decided to end our friendship because it was clear to me that she wasn’t going to reflect deeper and gain more self awareness around this situation. After our elopement, I had a conversation with her husband, who is also our friend. He said he was also upset that we didn’t ask them if we could get eloped on the same mountain as them. He wanted us to ask him as a courtesy but didn’t care for us to change our plans. I validated his feelings of being upset and said that wasn’t my intention. Then the conversation was past us and he said he would still like to be friends even though his wife and I aren’t friends anymore. Am I missing something here and did I do something wrong to hurt my (former) friend? Should I have never ended the friendship at all? Should she still be invited to the wedding if her husband is invited?
submitted by suppixi to wedding [link] [comments]
2024.05.26 06:56 Sweet-Count2557 The 25 Best Mexican Restaurant in New York City,NY,United States (2023)
 | The 25 Best Mexican Restaurant in New York City,NY,United States (2023) submitted by Sweet-Count2557 to worldkidstravel [link] [comments] Discover the top 25 Mexican restaurants in New York City, NY. Indulge in authentic flavors and vibrant atmospheres at these must-visit dining destinations. Mad Dog & Beans Mexican Cantina Mad Dog & Beans Mexican Cantina is a must-visit restaurant for any food lover. This casual-upscale Mexican eatery offers a traditional Mexican menu that will leave your taste buds craving for more. One of their standout dishes is the fresh made-to-order guacamole, which is simply divine. And let's not forget about their famous Mad Dog Margaritas, a perfect companion to your meal. The restaurant's theme is inspired by the Mexican Revolution, creating a unique and vibrant atmosphere. Whether you choose to dine in the bar area or the dining area, you'll be treated to lively Mexican and Spanish music during the day. If you visit during happy hour, you can enjoy top 100, classic, and contemporary rock music in the bar area while savoring their delicious drinks. For a more traditional Mexican dining experience, head upstairs where the Mexican/Spanish music continues to play. Don't miss out on the NYC Trivia League every Tuesday at 7pm, and make sure to take advantage of their happy hour specials at the bar from Mondays to Thursdays between 2:30pm and 6:30pm. Agave Agave: A Tequila Bar & Southwestern Restaurant in Manhattan's West VillageWelcome to Agave, a bustling Tequila Bar & Southwestern Restaurant located in the heart of Manhattan's West Village. With its vibrant atmosphere and delicious cuisine, Agave has become a go-to destination for locals and tourists alike. At Agave, we take pride in our extensive selection of tequilas and our expertly crafted margaritas. In fact, we have been named "Best Margarita" by The Food Network, a recognition that speaks to the quality and flavor of our signature cocktails. But Agave is more than just a tequila bar. We have also been honored as the "Best Tequila Bar" by New York Magazine & Spirits Business Journal. Our knowledgeable staff is always ready to guide you through our impressive tequila collection, ensuring that you have a memorable and enjoyable experience. In addition to our regular menu, Agave also hosts large events, including Spirits of Mexico NY, America's biggest and most comprehensive tequila festival. This annual event brings together tequila enthusiasts from all over the country to celebrate and explore the world of tequila. Whether you're looking for a casual night out with friends or a unique venue for a special occasion, Agave is the perfect choice. Join us at Agave and indulge in the flavors of the Southwest while sipping on award-winning margaritas. Arriba Arriba Mexican Restaurant Arriba Arriba Mexican Restaurant is a must-visit destination for all food enthusiasts. Located in the vibrant neighborhood of Hell's Kitchen, this restaurant offers a delightful culinary experience that is hard to match. With a legacy of 37 years, Arriba Arriba has become a beloved spot for locals and tourists alike. The restaurant's menu boasts a wide variety of mouthwatering Mexican dishes that are sure to satisfy any craving. From sizzling fajitas to flavorful tacos, every bite at Arriba Arriba is a burst of authentic Mexican flavors. Pair your meal with their amazing selection of drinks, and you're in for a treat. The lively atmosphere of the restaurant adds to the overall dining experience, making it the perfect place to unwind and enjoy a memorable evening. Blue Maiz Blue Maiz: A Traditional Mexican Culinary ExperienceWelcome to Blue Maiz, where we take pride in preparing dishes that follow the traditional Mexican style. Our focus is on creating homemade and handmade tortillas that not only enhance the flavors of our dishes but also preserve the healthiness of all the ingredients. As a travel blogger, I had the pleasure of visiting Blue Maiz and was blown away by the authentic flavors and attention to detail in every dish. From the moment you step foot into our restaurant, you'll be transported to the vibrant streets of Mexico, with the aroma of freshly cooked corn tortillas filling the air. Whether you're a fan of tacos, enchiladas, or tamales, our menu offers a wide variety of options that will satisfy your cravings for authentic Mexican cuisine. Join us at Blue Maiz and experience the true essence of Mexico through our delicious and carefully crafted dishes. La Contenta La Contenta: An Authentic Mexican Restaurant in the Heart of the Lower East SideWelcome to La Contenta, an exquisite Mexican restaurant nestled in the vibrant Lower East Side of New York City. With a traditional menu infused with French accents, our culinary offerings are sure to tantalize your taste buds. As a travel blogger, I had the pleasure of experiencing the rich flavors and unique combinations that La Contenta has to offer. From the moment you step inside, you are greeted with a warm and inviting atmosphere that transports you to the heart of Mexico. At La Contenta, we take pride in our commitment to using only the finest ingredients to create dishes that are both authentic and innovative. Our menu showcases a fusion of traditional Mexican flavors with a touch of French influence, resulting in a truly remarkable dining experience. From classic favorites like tacos and enchiladas to more adventurous options like our signature Alt Agave Spirits, there is something to satisfy every palate.One of the highlights of dining at La Contenta is the extensive selection of Alt Agave Spirits. These unique spirits are made from agave plants that have been aged for an extended period, resulting in a smooth and complex flavor profile. Whether you prefer tequila, mezcal, or sotol, our knowledgeable staff can guide you through the different options and help you find the perfect pairing for your meal.In addition to our exceptional food and drink offerings, La Contenta also prides itself on providing top-notch service. Our friendly and attentive staff are dedicated to ensuring that every guest has a memorable dining experience. Whether you are a local looking for a new favorite spot or a visitor seeking an authentic taste of Mexico, La Contenta is the perfect destination.So, if you find yourself in the Lower East Side, make sure to stop by La Contenta for a truly unforgettable dining experience. With its authentic Mexican cuisine, French accents, and Alt Agave Spirits, this restaurant is a must-visit for any food lover. Come and discover the flavors that have made La Contenta a beloved destination for locals and travelers alike. Tacombi Nolita Born on the balmy beaches of the Yucatán in 2006, Tacombi Nolita is your dream destination for authentic tacos, Mexican snacks, sunset cocktails y ice-cold beer.Our neighborhood taquerias are places to gather, enjoy and share in the communion of tacos, burritos, quesadillas and more. We are honored & grateful for the opportunity to serve our community and to share authentic Mexican taco culture every single day. Tacombi Born on the balmy beaches of the Yucatán in 2006, Tacombi is your dream destination for authentic tacos, Mexican snacks, sunset cocktails y ice-cold beer.Our neighborhood taquerias are places to gather, enjoy and share in the communion of tacos, burritos, quesadillas and more.We are honored & grateful for the opportunity to serve our community and to share authentic Mexican taco culture every single day. Playa Betty's Restaurant Welcome to Playa Betty's Restaurant, your go-to destination for California-style beach fare in the heart of New York City's Upper West Side. Whether you're a local or just visiting, our restaurant offers a taste of the West Coast right here on the East Coast. At Playa Betty's, we pride ourselves on serving the best of the West Coast cuisine, bringing the flavors and vibes of California to the bustling city. Our menu features a wide range of delicious dishes inspired by the beach culture, including fresh seafood, tacos, burgers, and refreshing cocktails. Indulge in our mouthwatering fish tacos, made with locally sourced ingredients and bursting with flavor. Or, try our juicy burgers made with grass-fed beef and topped with all the classic fixings. Pair your meal with one of our signature cocktails, crafted with care to perfectly complement your dining experience. With a laid-back and vibrant atmosphere, Playa Betty's is the perfect spot to unwind and enjoy a taste of the West Coast. Whether you're looking for a quick lunch, a casual dinner, or a fun night out with friends, our friendly staff and inviting ambiance will make you feel right at home. So, why wait? Stop by Playa Betty's Restaurant today and embark on a culinary journey that combines the best of California with the vibrant energy of New York City. We can't wait to serve you! Maya Maya: A Culinary Journey through Modern Mexican CuisineWelcome to Maya, a restaurant that offers a unique culinary experience blending traditional Mexican flavors with a contemporary twist. Led by renowned Chef Richard Sandoval, Maya takes you on a journey of carefully crafted, bold-flavored dishes. With a passion for combining worldly ingredients and creative cooking techniques, Chef Sandoval brings the earthy tastes of his native Mexico to the vibrant Upper East Side neighborhood of New York City.At Maya, we invite you to join us for dinner every night, where you can indulge in our exquisite menu. But that's not all - we also offer a delightful happy hour and a bottomless brunch every weekend. Whether you're a local or a visitor, we can't wait to welcome you into our restaurant and share our love for modern Mexican cuisine. Come and experience the flavors that have made Maya a favorite among food enthusiasts. El Centro El Centro: The Heart of Hell's Kitchen's Colorful CommunityWelcome to El Centro, the restaurant that truly lives up to its name as the center of Hell's Kitchen's vibrant community. Here, local talent, theatre and film celebrities regularly gather to unwind and indulge in authentic Mexican cuisine in a relaxed and festive atmosphere. Since its opening in May of 2006, El Centro has been a beloved establishment, recently celebrating its ten-year anniversary. Our dedicated family at El Centro continuously strives to please our diverse and loyal patrons by serving delicious and affordable high-quality food and beverages that consistently receive the highest ratings and recommendations.Step into our warm and welcoming environment adorned with festive Milagros (miracles), Corona-bottle chandeliers, and bottle-top tables. Indulge in our acclaimed chilaquiles, sizzling fajitas, and imaginative trio of tacos, all while sipping on our refreshing fresh fruit sangria or mouth-watering margaritas and mojitos. Our cocktails are expertly crafted with freshly squeezed limes and quality tequila, available frozen or on the rocks.Join us at El Centro and make yourself at home in the heart of Hell's Kitchen. Experience the vibrant community, the delicious Mexican fare, and the festive ambiance that has made us a favorite among locals and celebrities alike. Empellon Taqueria Empellón Taqueria is a must-visit restaurant located in the vibrant West Village of New York City. Situated on the corner of West 4th Street and 10th Street, this cozy eatery offers a delightful menu that revolves around tacos, guacamole, queso fundido, and seasonal vegetable dishes. Whether you're a fan of traditional Mexican cuisine or looking to try something new, Empellón Taqueria has got you covered. The restaurant's inviting atmosphere and friendly staff make it the perfect spot for a casual meal with friends or a romantic dinner date. Don't forget to explore their impressive drink menu, which includes margaritas and cocktails made from artisanal Mexican spirits, as well as a selection of beer and wine. So, if you're in the mood for a memorable dining experience, head over to Empellón Taqueria and indulge in their delectable offerings. El Parador Cafe El Parador Cafe: NYC's Oldest Mexican RestaurantEstablished since 1959, El Parador is NYC's oldest operating Mexican restaurant. White stucco walls, wood beamed ceilings, romantic lighting, and lively music make our restaurant the ideal spot for a celebration or a romantic evening. Classic dishes and contemporary creations showcase the flavors of Mexico's land and sea offerings. Delicious fresh-juice margaritas, a well-chosen wine list, and ice-cold refreshments complement the visit. We cater to a variety of dietary restrictions, when requested, and have been welcoming children since the day we opened. Come and enjoy a NYC tradition that has survived the passing of time by doing nothing else than being delicious and accommodating. Hasta pronto! Urbanspace Vanderbilt As a travel blogger, I am excited to share with you one of New York City's culinary gems - Urbanspace Vanderbilt. This renowned restaurant features a rotating selection of over 20 chef-driven artisanal food concepts, making it a must-visit destination for food enthusiasts. Located just steps away from the iconic Grand Central Terminal, Urbanspace Vanderbilt has become a beloved spot for locals, commuters, and adventurers alike.With its diverse range of offerings, Urbanspace Vanderbilt caters to all tastes and preferences. Whether you're in the mood for the best fast casual dining experience in NYC or looking to unwind with a happy hour near Grand Central, this food hall has got you covered. The vibrant atmosphere and the buzz of excitement surrounding this culinary hotspot make it an ideal place to indulge in a memorable dining experience.In addition to its regular menu, Urbanspace Vanderbilt also hosts special food events, adding an extra layer of excitement and variety to your visit. From themed food festivals to chef collaborations, there's always something new and exciting happening at this food hall. So, whether you're a local or a visitor to the city, make sure to add Urbanspace Vanderbilt to your list of must-visit restaurants in New York City. Cafe Habana Founded in 1998, Café Habana is a Cuban-Mexican neighborhood cafe & bar famed for its grilled corn, Cuban sandwiches, cócteles, and other well-priced eats. Located in downtown New York City & beyond, Café Habana has become a popular destination for both locals and tourists alike. With its vibrant atmosphere and delicious menu, this restaurant offers a unique dining experience that combines the flavors of Cuba and Mexico. Whether you're craving a tasty Cuban sandwich or want to try their famous grilled corn, Café Habana is the place to be. Don't forget to indulge in their refreshing cócteles, which perfectly complement the flavorful dishes. Visit Café Habana today and discover why it has become a must-visit spot for food enthusiasts in New York City. Bodega Negra Bodega Negra: A Feast for the SensesFrom the moment you step into Bodega Negra, you'll be transported to a world of visual and culinary delights. The enormous disco ball plated with 10,000 pennies hanging over the dining room sets the stage for an unforgettable dining experience. The walls adorned with antique tequila barrels add a touch of rustic charm to the cozy and intimate "Tudor Hacienda" décor. But it's not just the ambiance that will leave you in awe - Executive Chef Brad Warner's upscale Mexican menu is designed to tantalize your taste buds. With a focus on sharing, you can start your culinary journey with fresh ceviches, tacos, and salads. For those with a heartier appetite, the menu offers generously proportioned dishes like Roasted Chile Rellano, Lamb Barbacoa Tacos, and Carne Asade.One of Chef Warner's recent menu additions is the Fiesta Tower - a three-tiered tower of Mexican street food that is as impressive as it is delicious. Whether you're a fan of traditional Mexican flavors or looking to try something new, Bodega Negra has something for everyone. So, come and indulge in a sensory experience like no other at Bodega Negra. El Rio Grande El Rio Grande: The Best Tex-Mex Restaurant in New York CityWelcome to El Rio Grande, the ultimate destination for Tex-Mex lovers in New York City! As a travel blogger, I am thrilled to share my experience at this amazing restaurant with you. El Rio Grande is renowned for its mouthwatering dishes and, of course, the best margaritas in the city, as voted by City Search. Whether you're craving authentic Mexican cuisine or have a penchant for grilled fish, this place has got you covered. The ambiance is vibrant and the service is top-notch. However, please note that reservations are not available for outdoor seating. Thank you for understanding. So, if you're looking for a memorable dining experience, make sure to visit El Rio Grande. Ponche Taqueria & Cantina I recently discovered a hidden gem in the heart of the city - Ponche Taqueria & Cantina. This restaurant, although relatively new, has already made a lasting impression on me. Despite its small size, the friendly staff creates a warm and inviting atmosphere that instantly puts you at ease. What truly sets Ponche Taqueria & Cantina apart is their delectable food. From the moment I took my first bite, I knew I had stumbled upon something special. The flavors burst in my mouth, leaving me craving for more. Whether you're a fan of traditional Mexican cuisine or looking to try something new, this place has got you covered. Despite its size, the menu at Ponche Taqueria & Cantina offers a wide variety of options to satisfy any palate. From mouthwatering tacos to flavorful enchiladas, each dish is prepared with care and attention to detail. The quality of the ingredients shines through in every bite, making it a must-visit for any food enthusiast. If you're in the mood for a unique dining experience, I highly recommend giving Ponche Taqueria & Cantina a try. The combination of friendly service, cozy ambiance, and delicious food is a winning formula that will leave you wanting to come back for more. Don't let its small size fool you - this restaurant is a hidden gem waiting to be discovered. MEXiCUE It all started with a passion for real, made-from-scratch cooking in a food truck that traversed Manhattan and Brooklyn, embracing the vibrant culture of the city. Today, Mexicue has evolved into a restaurant - and lively bar scene - that does things a little differently than the other guys. A little more boldly, and with a lot more flavor and fun.We smoke, braise, char, pickle, juice, mash, grind and create - in a way that is inspired by the Mexican tradition, all with a twist of the American South. Mexicue is the ultimate place to unwind and dine - or order a round of tequila to take the night to the next level. MEXiCUE It all started with a passion for real, made-from-scratch cooking in a food truck that traversed Manhattan and Brooklyn, embracing the vibrant culture of the city. Today, Mexicue has evolved into a restaurant - and lively bar scene - that does things a little differently than the other guys. A little more boldly, and with a lot more flavor and fun.We smoke, braise, char, pickle, juice, mash, grind and create - in a way that is inspired by the Mexican tradition, all with a twist of the American South. Mexicue is the ultimate place to unwind and dine - or order a round of tequila to take the night to the next level. Dos Caminos Join the fiesta at one of New York City's original Mexican restaurants! Dos Caminos features an expanded menu of authentic Mexican dishes as well as an extensive selection of premium tequilas and delicious, innovative cocktails. Experience the multi-regional modern cuisine for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and weekend brunch.At Dos Caminos, we take pride in offering a diverse range of Mexican dishes that are prepared with the utmost care and attention to detail. From traditional favorites like tacos and enchiladas to unique creations like our signature guacamole made tableside, there is something for everyone to enjoy. Our chefs use only the freshest ingredients sourced from local farms and suppliers to ensure that each dish is bursting with flavor.In addition to our mouthwatering food, Dos Caminos also boasts an impressive selection of premium tequilas. Whether you prefer a smooth and smoky añejo or a crisp and refreshing blanco, our knowledgeable staff can help you find the perfect tequila to complement your meal. And if tequila isn't your thing, we also offer a variety of innovative cocktails that are sure to impress.No matter what time of day you visit, Dos Caminos is ready to serve you. Start your day off right with our delicious breakfast options, including chilaquiles and huevos rancheros. For lunch and dinner, indulge in our flavorful entrees like carne asada or mole poblano. And on the weekends, join us for brunch and enjoy classics like eggs benedict with a Mexican twist.So, if you're looking for an authentic Mexican dining experience in the heart of New York City, look no further than Dos Caminos. With our expanded menu, extensive tequila selection, and vibrant atmosphere, we guarantee a fiesta for your taste buds. Come join us and discover why we are one of the city's most beloved Mexican restaurants. Dos Caminos Join the fiesta at one of New York City's original Mexican restaurants! Dos Caminos features an expanded menu of authentic Mexican dishes as well as an extensive selection of premium tequilas and delicious, innovative cocktails. Experience the multi-regional modern cuisine for lunch, dinner, and weekend brunch.At Dos Caminos, you can indulge in a culinary journey through Mexico without leaving the city. From traditional favorites like tacos and enchiladas to unique creations like ceviche and mole, our menu offers a wide range of flavors to satisfy every palate. Our talented chefs use only the freshest ingredients to create dishes that are both visually stunning and bursting with flavor.In addition to our mouthwatering food, Dos Caminos is also known for its impressive drink menu. Whether you're a tequila connoisseur or just looking to try something new, our extensive selection of premium tequilas is sure to impress. Pair your meal with one of our delicious, innovative cocktails for the ultimate dining experience.Join us for lunch, dinner, or weekend brunch and experience the vibrant atmosphere and exceptional service that Dos Caminos is known for. Whether you're celebrating a special occasion or simply looking for a delicious meal, our restaurant is the perfect destination for Mexican cuisine in New York City. Don't miss out on the fiesta make your reservation at Dos Caminos today! Dos Caminos Join the fiesta at one of New York City's original Mexican restaurants! Dos Caminos features an expanded menu of authentic Mexican dishes as well as an extensive selection of premium tequilas and delicious, innovative cocktails. Experience the multi-regional modern cuisine for lunch, dinner, and weekend brunch.At Dos Caminos, you can indulge in a culinary journey through Mexico without leaving the city. From traditional favorites like tacos and enchiladas to unique creations like ceviche and mole, our menu offers a wide range of flavors to satisfy every palate. Our talented chefs use only the freshest ingredients to create dishes that are both visually stunning and bursting with flavor.In addition to our mouthwatering food, Dos Caminos is also known for its impressive drink menu. Whether you're a tequila connoisseur or just looking to try something new, our extensive selection of premium tequilas is sure to impress. Pair your meal with one of our delicious, innovative cocktails for the ultimate dining experience.Join us for lunch, dinner, or weekend brunch and experience the vibrant atmosphere and exceptional service that Dos Caminos is known for. Whether you're celebrating a special occasion or simply looking for a delicious meal, our restaurant is the perfect destination for Mexican cuisine in New York City. Don't miss out on the fiesta make your reservation at Dos Caminos today! Dos Caminos Join the fiesta at one of New York City's original Mexican restaurants! Dos Caminos features an expanded menu of authentic Mexican dishes as well as an extensive selection of premium tequilas and delicious, innovative cocktails. Experience the multi-regional modern cuisine for lunch, dinner, and weekend brunch.At Dos Caminos, you can indulge in a culinary journey through Mexico without leaving the city. From traditional favorites like tacos and enchiladas to unique creations like ceviche and mole, our menu offers a wide range of flavors to satisfy every palate. Our talented chefs use only the freshest ingredients to create dishes that are both visually stunning and bursting with flavor.In addition to our mouthwatering food, Dos Caminos is also known for its impressive drink menu. Whether you're a tequila connoisseur or just looking to try something new, our extensive selection of premium tequilas is sure to impress. Pair your meal with one of our delicious, innovative cocktails for the ultimate dining experience.Join us for lunch, dinner, or weekend brunch and experience the vibrant atmosphere and exceptional service that Dos Caminos is known for. Whether you're celebrating a special occasion or simply looking for a delicious meal, our restaurant is the perfect destination for Mexican cuisine in New York City. Don't miss out on the fiesta make your reservation at Dos Caminos today! K Rico Steakhouse K. Rico Steakhouse is a must-visit restaurant for any food lover in New York City. Created by Tommy Greco and Christian Tanno, this restaurant offers an authentic dining experience based on their extensive travels throughout Latin America. The diverse cuisines, cultures, and flavors they encountered during their journeys inspired them to create a unique menu that showcases the best of these culinary adventures. One of the highlights of dining at K. Rico is the in-house butchering and Dry-Aging of the steaks. Guests have the opportunity to see the cuts displayed right at their table before placing their orders, making it a truly memorable experience. Whether you're a steak enthusiast or simply looking for a taste of Latin American cuisine, K. Rico Steakhouse is the perfect destination. Lucy's Cantina Royale Located on the corner of 34th Street and 8th Avenue, Lucy's Cantina Royale is a must-visit restaurant near Penn Station in New York. With its prime location, it has gained popularity among locals and tourists alike. As a travel blogger, I highly recommend this restaurant for its exceptional dining experience and mouthwatering cuisine.Lucy's Cantina Royale has been recognized as one of the top five restaurants near Penn Station, making it a go-to spot for food enthusiasts. Whether you are craving Mexican delicacies or looking for a vibrant atmosphere to enjoy a night out, this restaurant has it all.From their delectable tacos and enchiladas to their refreshing margaritas, Lucy's Cantina Royale offers a wide range of authentic Mexican dishes that will satisfy your taste buds. The restaurant's cozy ambiance and friendly staff further enhance the overall dining experience.So, if you find yourself in New York and near Penn Station, make sure to visit Lucy's Cantina Royale. Indulge in their flavorful dishes, soak in the lively atmosphere, and create unforgettable memories at this renowned restaurant. |
2024.05.26 06:53 PhilayMinyon Dealing with anxiety over sexual attraction
26M in Canada. I've been with my partner for 2 years now, the happiest I've ever been. I am in love with this man and we communicate and support each other very well. However, lately I have been dealing with severe anxiety/panic attacks over my sexual attraction to him waning.
He's a stockier man and mostly a bottom. I've mostly bottomed before I met him. I find him physically attractive, I love his eyes, his smile, he has the thickest quads I've ever seen, and looks amazing in shorts. Even though I never really topped before I met him, I found myself falling into the topping role really naturally and we've had a lot of fun.
However, for the past 5 months, I've noticed myself having immense difficulty performing in bed, getting it up, and just being able to view him in a sexual light. When we're apart due to work or family, he always tells me how much he fantasizes about me and it occurred to me that I never really masturbate to him when we're apart. That bothers me immensely because I wind up gravitating to masturbating to porn instead of him. He watches porn too but the fact I don't think about him when I masturbate at least once bothers me.
I usually top in the relationship but when I bottom, I find myself never really feeling aroused or being in the moment, I more feel like I'm doing something that's making the man I love feel good and that makes me happy but I'm not turned on. As a result, I start feeling sexually frustrated and guilty that I can't seem to find my partner sexy. I want to be turned on by him when I bottom like I was for my past sexual partners, and I want to feel horny just for him but I can't seem to make it happen. I worry our sex life in the first year was just a honeymoon period thing.
It's starting now to manifest in severe anxiety symptoms, an incredibly tight chest, rapid breathing, and pain in my left breast that, without exaggeration, has lasted for weeks at a time. When I wake up, I can feel a switch flipping and my chest sinks and stays in that anxious space until I sleep. I have trouble looking at his physique as a stockier guy and have been struggling to see his body and be turned on.
He knows I have trouble with his body type and acknowledges he wants to be healthier. He used to go to the gym but as of late, stopped. His work is insanely demanding so I understand. I don't want him to look like a fitness model, but it bothered me that he stopped taking care of his body. I ask if he wants to work out but I don't want to force him to do things he doesn't want to do or make him feel like he isn't good looking as he is. I think he's a beautiful man and I really want to get out of my own head and get back to having a good, satisfying sex life with him.
Here's how I've been trying to cope:
submitted by PhilayMinyon to askgaybros [link] [comments]
He's a stockier man and mostly a bottom. I've mostly bottomed before I met him. I find him physically attractive, I love his eyes, his smile, he has the thickest quads I've ever seen, and looks amazing in shorts. Even though I never really topped before I met him, I found myself falling into the topping role really naturally and we've had a lot of fun.
However, for the past 5 months, I've noticed myself having immense difficulty performing in bed, getting it up, and just being able to view him in a sexual light. When we're apart due to work or family, he always tells me how much he fantasizes about me and it occurred to me that I never really masturbate to him when we're apart. That bothers me immensely because I wind up gravitating to masturbating to porn instead of him. He watches porn too but the fact I don't think about him when I masturbate at least once bothers me.
I usually top in the relationship but when I bottom, I find myself never really feeling aroused or being in the moment, I more feel like I'm doing something that's making the man I love feel good and that makes me happy but I'm not turned on. As a result, I start feeling sexually frustrated and guilty that I can't seem to find my partner sexy. I want to be turned on by him when I bottom like I was for my past sexual partners, and I want to feel horny just for him but I can't seem to make it happen. I worry our sex life in the first year was just a honeymoon period thing.
It's starting now to manifest in severe anxiety symptoms, an incredibly tight chest, rapid breathing, and pain in my left breast that, without exaggeration, has lasted for weeks at a time. When I wake up, I can feel a switch flipping and my chest sinks and stays in that anxious space until I sleep. I have trouble looking at his physique as a stockier guy and have been struggling to see his body and be turned on.
He knows I have trouble with his body type and acknowledges he wants to be healthier. He used to go to the gym but as of late, stopped. His work is insanely demanding so I understand. I don't want him to look like a fitness model, but it bothered me that he stopped taking care of his body. I ask if he wants to work out but I don't want to force him to do things he doesn't want to do or make him feel like he isn't good looking as he is. I think he's a beautiful man and I really want to get out of my own head and get back to having a good, satisfying sex life with him.
Here's how I've been trying to cope:
- I've communicated exactly this to my partner. We talk plainly about what is on our minds and he's never pressured me for sex. Even when I can't get it up, he doesn't care and he wants me to worry less. However, he has his own problems from work, family, friends and me constantly having anxiety attacks about our relationships is wearing on him. If I was him, I'd be very hurt to find my partner was finding it difficult to be sexually attracted to me.
- I've been seeing my therapist and trying to figure out methods of dealing with anxiety. I'm practising mindfulness and some exercises to deal with anxiety symptoms in the moment. Trying to not beat myself up but it's hard. I also suggested couples therapy but he does not want to.
- I've started seeing a sexologist/relationship counsellor in addition to my existing therapist. The sexologist has me reading some books on sex in relationships and discussing how to create the conditions that encourage a desire-mindset. He says that in any monogamous relationship, it's normal to have periods of time when I don't find my partner super sexually attractive and it's normal to not be turned on by every single aspect of his body.
- At the sexologist's behest, I started actively seeking out porn that features men of my partner's body type or look similar to him. I'm not trying to force myself to change what turns me on but I'm trying to expand what could turn me on in terms of body type. I've noticed I've started to have a fantasy here and there about my partner which felt huge to me.
- I bought some sex toys for when we're apart and I've been actively trying to masturbate to the thought of him. Sexologist says it's normal to feel like masturbating to him is a conscious effort since this is something new and I'm practising.
- Viagra (didn't work for me, still floppy)
- Checkup from doctor. My testosterone is normal and no health conditions. I work out 4/5 days of the week so blood flow's not a big issue.
- I'm trying to put less pressure on myself to have sex. Sometimes we just cuddle or do oral. Sometimes he tops. My partner never pressures me so all the pressure is really just my own head. But it's hard to not put pressure on myself. It's hard to not beat myself up every time I find myself not turned on.
- We talked about an open relationship but while he's open to it and I am open to it in theory, the more I think about it, we'd be doing it for the wrong reasons. I want to find sexual gratification and lust after my partner, the open relationship wouldn't help with that.
- We're trying to schedule more time to exercise either together or separately. And just be healthier. Also just do more dates and make time for our own individual social lives. But I don't want to set this implicit condition that he needs to work out for me to be turned on, that doesn't sit right with me.
- How do I focus more on the parts of his body that I do find sexy? It's easy to say "I'll focus on the parts I like" but how do I follow through and actually put that into practice? How do I see body fat and still be turned on?
- I think it was a big adjustment to go from purely bottoming when single to being the top in a relationship. How do I stop thinking too much when I'm topping? People say to not think too hard about it but that's much easier said than done. It's INSANELY difficult to not panic when I notice I'm too soft to penetrate.
- How do I enjoy bottoming for him like I did in my pre-relationship hookups? I enjoy making him feel good but how do I also feel good and in the moment? I noticed the common thread in my previous hookups is that the guys were more dominant in attitude and more assertive. I think my partner's already gained so much more confidence topping and started to enjoy it so how do i bridge the gap between my previous experiences and my current relationship?
- How do I stop the panic attacks and not feel like I'm trapped in a cycle of sexual frustration and guilt? How do I start to feel okay and not always anxious and panicking?
2024.05.26 06:50 QuestsAPlenty DWINP is Recruiting! [LFM] [Static] [NA] [7.0] [Savage] [Ultimate] [Healer] [Prange] [5 of 8]
Howdy, We are looking for a healers and Prange/Tank ( Flex ). We are looking to clear around week 8-10 and then further improve upon that time in the following tiers. We have a strong interest in FRU and older ultimate's. We also plan on doing future dawntrail savage tiers and future ultimate's.
Expectations:
Please come prepared to raid with appropriate food and pots. We have crafters that can help supply. We also emphasize coming studied up a mech or 2 ahead of current prog point. Please do not waste people's time. We are very big on being kind and respectful to each other. This is a LGBTQA+ friendly static. All are welcomed.
Schedule: Mon/Tues/Wed 7:00 PM - 10:00 PM CST
Contact info:
Send a chat on reddit or message to sevenscore on discord if you have any interest. Logs and other information can be given upon request! Thank you for reading and we hope to see you in dawntrail!
submitted by QuestsAPlenty to FFXIVRECRUITMENT [link] [comments]
Expectations:
Please come prepared to raid with appropriate food and pots. We have crafters that can help supply. We also emphasize coming studied up a mech or 2 ahead of current prog point. Please do not waste people's time. We are very big on being kind and respectful to each other. This is a LGBTQA+ friendly static. All are welcomed.
Schedule: Mon/Tues/Wed 7:00 PM - 10:00 PM CST
Contact info:
Send a chat on reddit or message to sevenscore on discord if you have any interest. Logs and other information can be given upon request! Thank you for reading and we hope to see you in dawntrail!
2024.05.26 06:46 Glittering_Garden_74 (Spoilers Extended) Sandor did everything
Recently, this line in Varamyr’s prologue in ADWD was brought to my attention:
Because they’re going to be important later. While I have some ideas on who “The twins” and “The youth with the red hair” are, in this post I’m going to be focusing on “the big man with the scarred face”.
A big man with a scarred face, now, who could that be?
Sandor motherfucking Clegane of course!
I can already hear you saying “But he’s at the quiet Isle! He can’t be in the north!”, but as is shown in this revolutionary new timeline: https://www.reddit.com/pureasoiaf/comments/1cwuytvproposing_a_new_timeline_for_the_adwd_north/, Our timeline of a lot of the events is wrong, so it is possible Sandor took a ship to the north soon after Brienne left (or maybe during Brienne’s stay since the last time she sees him is when she has lunch in the septry). Cat’s skiff got from White Harbor to KL in a week or so, so it is completely possible Sandor went North and reached there a few months after the battle on the wall.
Ok, you say, He might be in the north, but what could that mean for the plot?
Why, because it means he sent the pink letter, of course.
The new timeline shows that Jon’s assassination took place a full month before Theon and Jeyne escape, so none of the suspects, other than maybe Stannis could have any reason to send the letter. So the pink letter:
One of the first things you notice on your first read of the letter is the repetition of Bastard, and since it makes no sense for Ramsay to write it, it must be some other character who wrote it, and who do we know in the series who loves to curse? Sandor. He might have changed a lot on the quiet isle but cursing a hard habit to drop. Sandor probably really does think of Stannis as a false king with no claim, since it’s unlikely he knew about the twincest considering he spends most of his time in KL around Joffrey or being a regular Lannister guard who doesn’t know. He also probably became more religious at the quiet isle and genuinely despises Stannis for turning to R’hllor.
So how does he know about the spearwives? Because he’s in winterfell of course. My guess would be he went to Eastwatch and managed to smuggle himself on a ship and go to White Harbor, where he went into Wyman’s service, maybe he even went and specifically told Wyman about his mission to rescue Arya, and since most people in the North haven’t seen the hound before, it’s unlikely they would know who he was, or even think about it, considering the rumors that he’s around Saltpans. Only the Freys might know him, being from farther south, but they probably wouldn’t pay attention to a random Manderly guard.
Why would the spearwives let Sandor know who they are? Because Mance recognized him from his previous visit to Winterfell. This would also explain why grrm retconned Mance into winterfell in asos.
Why would Mance trust Sandor? He’d probably do what he did with Theon and have the spearwives bring him and interrogate Sandor, Mance is a pretty good judge of character As for ‘your false king’s friends are dead’, Sandor from what he knows of Stannis thinks that Stannis has no friends, so he’s just having a jape, something he does continuously through the letter.
Sandor has also become far more religious at the quiet isle, so he thinks of all other religions (except the old gods) as witches. His experience with the BwB also put his opinion of red priests down, making him call Mel a red witch.
How did Sandor send the letter? Probably with Wyman’s help, or maybe there’s a dead maester who’s gone missing in all the chaos at winterfell. As for the signature pink wax, the quiet isle does have some trade, so the most likely scenario some ship carrying sealing waxes for trade came and Sandor asked the elder brother to buy him the pink one because it reminded him of the girlish stuff Sansa likes, along with kinda resembling the color of weirwood (remember that the first time he saved Sansa was when she fell on the serpentine steps coming back from the godswood.)
But why? He obviously came to winterfell hearing of Arya’s marriage and to save her, but it must have been clear during the wedding and after that the girl was not Arya, but someone else, namely Jeyne Poole, Sansa’s close friend who was taken away from her.
Sandor clearly thinks of himself as Sansa’s ‘protector’, and his time at the quiet isle has probably made him take that role even more seriously, so when he sees that Sansa’s close friend has been married off to a raving lunatic who’ll ruin her, he’d immediately think of Sansa and decide to save Jeyne, since he doesn’t know the spearwives or Mance well, he’d definitely not tell them and jeopardize the rescue.
As for the line, ‘the skins of the six whores’, I think Sandor’s increasing religiosity has made him increasingly take a line against alcoholism, which is probably pretty common in wildling culture, so he made them give him their wineskins and turned that into a cloak.
But why hasn’t Theon seen him, you ask? Well, actually, he has:
submitted by Glittering_Garden_74 to asoiaf [link] [comments]
One by one they fell behind or forged ahead, making for their old villages, or the Milkwater, or Hardhome, or a lonely death in the woods. Varamyr did not know and could not care. I should have taken one of them when I had the chance. One of the twins, or the big man with the scarred face, or the youth with the red hair.Who are these people Varamyr could have taken? Why would George give us descriptions of those people? Why have Varamyr remember these people specifically? Why have Varamyr remember anything about the people when he’s fucking starving and malnourished and delusional?
Because they’re going to be important later. While I have some ideas on who “The twins” and “The youth with the red hair” are, in this post I’m going to be focusing on “the big man with the scarred face”.
A big man with a scarred face, now, who could that be?
Sandor motherfucking Clegane of course!
I can already hear you saying “But he’s at the quiet Isle! He can’t be in the north!”, but as is shown in this revolutionary new timeline: https://www.reddit.com/pureasoiaf/comments/1cwuytvproposing_a_new_timeline_for_the_adwd_north/, Our timeline of a lot of the events is wrong, so it is possible Sandor took a ship to the north soon after Brienne left (or maybe during Brienne’s stay since the last time she sees him is when she has lunch in the septry). Cat’s skiff got from White Harbor to KL in a week or so, so it is completely possible Sandor went North and reached there a few months after the battle on the wall.
Ok, you say, He might be in the north, but what could that mean for the plot?
Why, because it means he sent the pink letter, of course.
The new timeline shows that Jon’s assassination took place a full month before Theon and Jeyne escape, so none of the suspects, other than maybe Stannis could have any reason to send the letter. So the pink letter:
Bastard, Your false king is dead, bastard. He and all his host were smashed in seven days of battle. I have his magic sword. Tell his red whore. Your false king's friends are dead. Their heads upon the walls of Winterfell. Come see them, bastard. Your false king lied, and so did you. You told the world you burned the King-Beyond-the-Wall. Instead you sent him to Winterfell to steal my bride from me. I will have my bride back. If you want Mance Rayder back, come and get him. I have him in a cage for all the north to see, proof of your lies. The cage is cold, but I have made him a warm cloak from the skins of the six whores who came with him to Winterfell. I want my bride back. I want the false king's queen. I want his daughter and his red witch. I want this wildling princess. I want his little prince, the wildling babe. And I want my Reek. Send them to me, bastard, and I will not trouble you or your black crows. Keep them from me, and I will cut out your bastard's heart and eat it. Ramsay Bolton, Trueborn Lord of WinterfellWhy send the letter? To bring Jon and hopefully draw Ramsay away, I believe that the original spearwife plan was originally to rescue Jeyne when the armies were outside battling, but they had to abandon that plan when no army came after a month and do the next best thing.
One of the first things you notice on your first read of the letter is the repetition of Bastard, and since it makes no sense for Ramsay to write it, it must be some other character who wrote it, and who do we know in the series who loves to curse? Sandor. He might have changed a lot on the quiet isle but cursing a hard habit to drop. Sandor probably really does think of Stannis as a false king with no claim, since it’s unlikely he knew about the twincest considering he spends most of his time in KL around Joffrey or being a regular Lannister guard who doesn’t know. He also probably became more religious at the quiet isle and genuinely despises Stannis for turning to R’hllor.
So how does he know about the spearwives? Because he’s in winterfell of course. My guess would be he went to Eastwatch and managed to smuggle himself on a ship and go to White Harbor, where he went into Wyman’s service, maybe he even went and specifically told Wyman about his mission to rescue Arya, and since most people in the North haven’t seen the hound before, it’s unlikely they would know who he was, or even think about it, considering the rumors that he’s around Saltpans. Only the Freys might know him, being from farther south, but they probably wouldn’t pay attention to a random Manderly guard.
Why would the spearwives let Sandor know who they are? Because Mance recognized him from his previous visit to Winterfell. This would also explain why grrm retconned Mance into winterfell in asos.
Why would Mance trust Sandor? He’d probably do what he did with Theon and have the spearwives bring him and interrogate Sandor, Mance is a pretty good judge of character As for ‘your false king’s friends are dead’, Sandor from what he knows of Stannis thinks that Stannis has no friends, so he’s just having a jape, something he does continuously through the letter.
Sandor has also become far more religious at the quiet isle, so he thinks of all other religions (except the old gods) as witches. His experience with the BwB also put his opinion of red priests down, making him call Mel a red witch.
How did Sandor send the letter? Probably with Wyman’s help, or maybe there’s a dead maester who’s gone missing in all the chaos at winterfell. As for the signature pink wax, the quiet isle does have some trade, so the most likely scenario some ship carrying sealing waxes for trade came and Sandor asked the elder brother to buy him the pink one because it reminded him of the girlish stuff Sansa likes, along with kinda resembling the color of weirwood (remember that the first time he saved Sansa was when she fell on the serpentine steps coming back from the godswood.)
But why? He obviously came to winterfell hearing of Arya’s marriage and to save her, but it must have been clear during the wedding and after that the girl was not Arya, but someone else, namely Jeyne Poole, Sansa’s close friend who was taken away from her.
Sandor clearly thinks of himself as Sansa’s ‘protector’, and his time at the quiet isle has probably made him take that role even more seriously, so when he sees that Sansa’s close friend has been married off to a raving lunatic who’ll ruin her, he’d immediately think of Sansa and decide to save Jeyne, since he doesn’t know the spearwives or Mance well, he’d definitely not tell them and jeopardize the rescue.
As for the line, ‘the skins of the six whores’, I think Sandor’s increasing religiosity has made him increasingly take a line against alcoholism, which is probably pretty common in wildling culture, so he made them give him their wineskins and turned that into a cloak.
But why hasn’t Theon seen him, you ask? Well, actually, he has:
Outside the snow was coming down so heavily that Theon could not see more than three feet ahead of him. He found himself alone in a white wilderness, walls of snow looming up to either side of him chest high. When he raised his head, the snowflakes brushed his cheeks like cold soft kisses. He could hear the sound of music from the hall behind him. A soft song now, and sad. For a moment he felt almost at peace. Farther on, he came upon a man striding in the opposite direction, a hooded cloak flapping behind him. When they found themselves face-to-face their eyes met briefly. The man put a hand on his dagger. "Theon Turncloak. Theon Kinslayer." "I'm not. I never … I was ironborn." "False is all you were. How is it you still breathe?" "The gods are not done with me," Theon answered, wondering if this could be the killer, the night walker who had stuffed Yellow Dick's cock into his mouth and pushed Roger Ryswell's groom off the battlements. Oddly, he was not afraid. He pulled the glove from his left hand. "Lord Ramsay is not done with me." The man looked, and laughed. "I leave you to him, then." -ADWD, The Ghost in Winterfell‘False is all you ever were.’ We know Sandor’s dislike of lordlings and knights, thinking them false fakers who break vows easily, and he must’ve seen a lot of Theon while watching Joff in the yard and seen his shallowness. Sandor’s parallel for Theon’s situation with the Starks is being saved by the Elder Brother, who has become his brother in all but biology to him, and he saw how good Theon had it with the Starks, so he thinks of Theon as a kinslayer. There is also a moment of sympathy when he sees what has been done to Theon, seeing a bit of what he did to himself and turned himself into due to his hatred of Gregor. So what would this mean for the story? Well, all the Manderly guardsmen are outside the castle and probably planning to defect to Stannis, so the future depends a lot on the outcome of the battle of Ice, which is too much for this post, but I might address it in another. Tl;dr: Sandor Clegane went to Winterfell to save Arya, and is currently outside winterfell with the Manderly host.
2024.05.26 06:46 m_swagberg fixing wedding photos?
 | I am going through photos and my parents wedding photos were basically ruined by their friend who was a very amateur photographer. My father just passed and I am trying to fix some of their photos as a gift to her. Does anyone know of any way for me to fix them in photoshop or lightroom?? submitted by m_swagberg to AskPhotography [link] [comments] |
2024.05.26 06:42 BunchActive4876 AITAH For Falling Asleep on Facetime with my "Best Friend's" Situation ship?
For context, I(15F) am a freshman in high school. One of my close friends, CJ(15F), just started talking to this person, Lily who is also 15. The names are fake because we're all really young and don't want our info out there.
Lily is our mutual friend. We got close to them after another girl (Lily's ex and CJ's ex-bff) terrorized the three of us. I may post a separate story about that later. This girl and Lily had broken up about two weeks ago, it was a pretty bad relationship. Lily pretty consistently talked about how there was continued issues with this girl, we'll call her Soap(15F).
CJ is really sweet and really helped him after the breakup, CJ and Lily are very close and I'm more distant with them. Lily's ex contacted CJ and told her about Lily's long term crush on CJ. So they've been talking.
It's been shaky for a couple reasons:
Then, she went to Soap and asked for relationship advice with Lily which tipped Soap off to CJ and Lily becoming a thing. Soap was PISSED and started spreading tons of rumors. To name a few:
Soap, CJ, and Lily have this mutual friend that I am no contact with named JJ(15F). JJ has always been very touchy, clingy, and attention seeking. As I have told my friends, I've never seen her make a positive impact on anyone's life so I don't want her in mine. There is a lot of history there, but its not relevant here.
JJ isn't that popular and recently, Soap also went no contact with JJ. So JJ has been getting a lot closer with CJ and Lily. JJ is OBSESSED with Lily. They're constantly calling Lily and talking to them, even though Lily has tried to step away (Lily is a total people pleaser and sucks at setting boundaries).
Anyways, so JJ randomly tells CJ and Lily that they are trans and now want to be called Charlie. LET ME MAKE IT CLEAR, we support trans people and believe them. Lily is our close friend and we always support her and try to get her name and pronouns correct when we can, BUT we all had some concerns about Charlie(JJ) so we decided to all FaceTime just to discuss.
I've been sick for about a week, but I was happy to talk to my friends. We all got on the call at about 8PM and kind of just discussed our thoughts and joked around. We came to a consensus we weren't entirely sure if Charlie was doing this to be more relatable to Lily or whatever their reasons were, but we'd respect them.
Then at about 9PM I went downstairs to take some of the cold medicine that makes you really tired, I think it's called NyQuil. We chatted and laughed for a couple more hours about random things but I started to kind of slip in and out of being asleep.
Eventually, I was out cold. I woke up at about midnight. CJ had left the call but Lily was still on it. I quickly hung up and he texted me a frowny face. I felt very bad because being asleep on FT together is a very couple thing, especially in high school. I told CJ about it in a haha this is so weird thing and she seemed kind of angry. She thought it was weird that I would do something "so intimate" with someone who I warned her against dating. I don't think I'm in the wrong since I didn't fall asleep on purpose and Lily could have hung up but, AITAH?
submitted by BunchActive4876 to okopshow [link] [comments]
Lily is our mutual friend. We got close to them after another girl (Lily's ex and CJ's ex-bff) terrorized the three of us. I may post a separate story about that later. This girl and Lily had broken up about two weeks ago, it was a pretty bad relationship. Lily pretty consistently talked about how there was continued issues with this girl, we'll call her Soap(15F).
CJ is really sweet and really helped him after the breakup, CJ and Lily are very close and I'm more distant with them. Lily's ex contacted CJ and told her about Lily's long term crush on CJ. So they've been talking.
It's been shaky for a couple reasons:
- Lily is in the process of transitioning and CJ is very LGBTQIA+ accepting but as far as I know, she is not gay.
- No matter how bad or good the relationship was, Lily is still fresh off a breakup.
- Lily has major trauma from childhood, especially with his dad.
Then, she went to Soap and asked for relationship advice with Lily which tipped Soap off to CJ and Lily becoming a thing. Soap was PISSED and started spreading tons of rumors. To name a few:
- That Lily was saying Soap had slept with a multitude of guys.
- To call Lily "mommy" as Lily is closeted as trans and presented like a man.
- Lily was abusive and tried to force them to kiss.
- Spread around that CJ and Lily were a thing.
Soap, CJ, and Lily have this mutual friend that I am no contact with named JJ(15F). JJ has always been very touchy, clingy, and attention seeking. As I have told my friends, I've never seen her make a positive impact on anyone's life so I don't want her in mine. There is a lot of history there, but its not relevant here.
JJ isn't that popular and recently, Soap also went no contact with JJ. So JJ has been getting a lot closer with CJ and Lily. JJ is OBSESSED with Lily. They're constantly calling Lily and talking to them, even though Lily has tried to step away (Lily is a total people pleaser and sucks at setting boundaries).
Anyways, so JJ randomly tells CJ and Lily that they are trans and now want to be called Charlie. LET ME MAKE IT CLEAR, we support trans people and believe them. Lily is our close friend and we always support her and try to get her name and pronouns correct when we can, BUT we all had some concerns about Charlie(JJ) so we decided to all FaceTime just to discuss.
I've been sick for about a week, but I was happy to talk to my friends. We all got on the call at about 8PM and kind of just discussed our thoughts and joked around. We came to a consensus we weren't entirely sure if Charlie was doing this to be more relatable to Lily or whatever their reasons were, but we'd respect them.
Then at about 9PM I went downstairs to take some of the cold medicine that makes you really tired, I think it's called NyQuil. We chatted and laughed for a couple more hours about random things but I started to kind of slip in and out of being asleep.
Eventually, I was out cold. I woke up at about midnight. CJ had left the call but Lily was still on it. I quickly hung up and he texted me a frowny face. I felt very bad because being asleep on FT together is a very couple thing, especially in high school. I told CJ about it in a haha this is so weird thing and she seemed kind of angry. She thought it was weird that I would do something "so intimate" with someone who I warned her against dating. I don't think I'm in the wrong since I didn't fall asleep on purpose and Lily could have hung up but, AITAH?