Found out about Lorcana yesterday and my hyperfixating, ADHD-riddled brain mugged my wallet, so I bought every starter deck that was in stock on Ravensburger's website (hasn't shipped yet) and went to a nearby LGS today (Spellbound Games in Chicago) and bought the remaining decks there. Stuck around and watched the weekly League draft to see how the game was played and to ask questions.
I've played Magic: the Gathering off-and-on since Theros and stopped in 2017 just after Amonkhet released. Most of that time was spent playing Commander. Whenever I wasn't, I was usually playing blue-black card draw w/ hand attack (forcing the opponent(s) to discard) or mono-blue control.
My question is: What color(s) would best fit my above-mentioned playstyle?

I remember hearing from adults all around me growing up that "marriage is a lot of work." That has always been my outlook and to be frank it is for my wife (37f) and I (37m). We've been married for 6 years and I feel like I still don't understand her. Last night she was in a bad mood and banished herself to the bedroom, so I went along with the kids' normal night routine like many, many nights before. I'm also used to her sleeping in and just expect at this point that I'm the one going into the kids' bedrooms when they wake up crying and that I'm the one doing morning routines with them on weekends.
I woke up this morning in my toddler's bed, after spending the night on the couch, like so many mornings before, and just started doing the morning routine. I got the kids breakfast, did laundry, did dishes, made the coffee, got my wife's breakfast started, fed the cats, etc. But this morning was different because my wife actually woke up shortly after I did. It caught me off guard and something inside me started boiling over. I felt like I was so used to just not expecting her to be a part of this routine ever that it made me viscerally angry. I expressed it to her calmly, like a mature adult, and we hugged it out. But the rest of the morning she spent snipping and snapping at me and the kids about everything, and whatever was going wrong this morning--whether it was the kids not having their shoes on or something like I paused vacuuming to clean up cat barf--she was giving me "I'm cross with you" vibes the whole way.
I left this morning with the girls to drop them off at my parents so my wife could go to a doctor's appointment and I could have brunch an hour away with some college friends I hadn't seen in a while (one of them is getting married this summer). My wife invited over her friend and this friend's daughter so they could do something with the kids while I was gone. On the way to see my friends, I sent my wife what I thought was an innocuous text telling her that I could tell she was in a bad mood, I still loved her, and I just hoped that she could fill her social cup with her friend and also get a chance to relax and recharge after I got home. I didn't think anything of it, even after she was short with me on the phone when I told her I was driving through torrential rain and would call her back when I got to my destination.
I left the house with my kids at 10:00 a.m., my wife picked them up from my parents around noon, and I got home around 3:30pm. Because this is who I am, as soon as I got home I took all the kids outside and we played so my wife could just hang out. On the way home, I got her and her friend alcohol and picked up some small things we needed for the house. I was upset that I had to come home and immediately go back into tired dad mode, but I told my wife I just wanted her to relax and I'd take care of things. I thought the rest of the afternoon went fine, my wife kept hugging me and telling me she loved me and there were lots of laughs, the kids were having a good time.
But after her friend left, she just kind of shut down again. I ended up going back into our normal routine. My wife gave our toddler a bath but otherwise she just kind of laid on the couch and said she was done for the day. I did all the normal nighttime routine stuff and like I usually do every night I was brushing my daughter's teeth when my wife asked me for a hug. I told her to wait until I was done, and then she just started crying. She told me she didn't have a husband and felt like I just lived in the house. I didn't know how to respond because I half expected something was up but I didn't expect that. And she told me that my lack of responding emotionally or strongly told her all she needs to know. She said she had been asking me for hugs all day and I wasn't respecting her or listening to her. Earlier that night I ran out to the store again because she wanted ice cream and we didn't have any, but she said I was only doing it because I was grumpy and just wanted to get out of the house. She kept telling me I was rude all day and that I needed to reread that text I sent her because it made her cry. And I just still didn't know what to do. I told her I loved her, I wasn't going to leave her, and then I gave her a hug but she told me it felt wrong and that she could sense I just wanted to leave the family.
I am stuck because I don't know what to do. She told me she doesn't want to be around me and slammed the door in my face, and now I'm laying on the couch doing the girls nighttime routine like I do every night by myself. And it's really giving me pause. Maybe this marriage isn't for me. She told me before she slammed the door that she felt so disrespected by me for sending that text and that she was jealous I got to spend "all day" with my friends, so she was going to "disappear all day" tomorrow so she could be selfish and rude too.
And I don't know if I'm gas lit, she's right, I'm just being a stupid man, but I seriously don't know what I did or what's wrong. Maybe she's angry she was home with the kids all day, but I already do so much of the parenting and have such little social life. I don't want to think of our marriage as a competition, but I do think she sees it that way and she's very tit for tat. Even just yesterday I was on the toilet for "longer than she expected" and I got spoken to about hiding in the bathroom even though I was legitimately going number two that entire time. Meanwhile, she can go shut herself in the room for hours because she doesn't want to be around the kids or my "bad moods."
I don't understand people that say marriage is easy. I just don't. But I've seen people on here and have friends in real life who tell me it is very easy for them. I envy those people.

Hey everyone,
Wanted to share this story to hopefully inspire some of you on this forum to pursue your passion musically.
I’m 36 years old and grew up glued to VH1 and MTV. Some of my fondest memories as a kid were staying up late on New Years Eve watching the top 100 songs of the year countdown.
After discovering The Beatles through my parents vinyl collection, I asked for their CD’s for my 8th birthday. For my 9th birthday, I asked for an electric guitar. I only had that guitar for a couple weeks before my sisters complained and I had to trade it in for an acoustic. It was way too big and after unsuccessfully trying to play it I put it back in its case where it remained for a decade.
About every 5 years I would take it out and attempt to learn. When I got into my Alice In Chains phase senior year of high school I went for lessons but nothing stuck. When Chris Cornell died in 2017 I ordered a new guitar that night. Again, I gave up when I couldn’t form the chords.
In 2021 I started running with a man named Robert “Raven” Kraft in my hometown, Miami Beach. Ravens story requires more than a few paragraphs, but to some it up, this man has run 8 miles on the beach every single day since January 1st 1975. The run started out of heartbreak after he found out a hit song he had written was stolen from him.
Ravens dream is to have a hit. Him and I would discuss music every run (to date I have run with him over 220 times). We would fantasize about me learning guitar and him providing lyrics, starting a real rock and roll band.
In the winter of 2021 my job was on strike so I had a lot of extra downtime. I decided once again to pick up the guitar. This time, inspired my Ravens dedication, I decided I would play 1 hour a day, everyday, for the entire year of 2022.
By June, I was comfortable playing in front of my girlfriend. By October, my best friend was coming over once a week and we started forming songs. By November, we felt the music was good enough and all we were missing was lyrics.
We invited Raven over, who penned his 1701st song in about 10 minutes, our first single, Digging Her Grave.
Another runner joined us from Haiti and plays bass, another runner from Serbia came over and introduced his native Tambura to the band. Finally, a man named Bryan we found on Facebook came over and decided he wanted to produce the album.
In 2023 we became Raven and the Dark Shadows. Our first live performance was a disaster, but we regrouped and practiced more. We found a studio and recorded 10 tracks. Through my connections and Raven’s fame we convinced Dave Abbruzzese (Pearl Jam), Ian Grushka (New Found Glory), Keli Gunnarson (Agent Fresco) and Dave Pastorious (tech 9) to guest on several tracks.
We released our album, An Unkindness, in November of 2023. To celebrate, we had a show at the Wolfsonian with over 150 people attending.
Jack White’s Third Man Pressing is currently producing Blue and Yellow vinyl editions of An Unkindness that should be ready by the summer.
Our song Dracula just reached 30,000 streams. In addition to our music, I produced 4 music videos for our band. A fifth animated one will be out next week. Total views on YouTube are north of 20,000.
At a recent Florida Panthers hockey game, our song, Dead End Road, was played after the Panthers scored a goal. It’s also been used at various Spring Training stadiums around Florida this spring. The Miami Marlins have it on their batting practice playlist. Our upcoming song “Feel Like a Fugitive” is on the Grand Theft Auto 6 soundtrack, and last year we played Stephen King’s 75th birthday bash.
We are currently preparing our second album. All the songs have demos, we just have to find the time to enter the studio and begin the process. We hope to have our second album released by October of 2024.
On January 1, 2025, Raven celebrates his 50th year of the streak. We are hoping for more exposure for the band when this happens.
I hope this inspires you all. In my mid 30s I definitely didn’t expect something like this to happen, but if you really commit to something, dreams can come true.
I’d love to hear your thoughts on the project and the sound. I’d also love to get recommendations on what we can do better, as we prepare for album number 2. Check us out on all the streaming platforms
Raven and the Dark Shadows

Source: https://www.mtgo.com/decklist/modern-challenge-32-2024-05-1612638652
Source: https://www.mtgo.com/decklist/modern-challenge-32-2024-05-1712638663

Winners

• Tubaba on BR Grief
  
• Filho_do_MOL on Amulet Titan
  

Decklists

65	Thursday Modern Challenge 1 (May 16 2024)
1.	BR Grief	(8-2) Tubaba
2.	Amulet Titan	(7-3) kanister	@kanister_mtg	[Twitch]	[YouTube]
3.	Amulet Titan	(7-2) DrakeHaven
4.	BG Yawgmoth	(6-3) Graciasportanto	@MauroSasso2
5.	4c Living End	(6-2) manohito
6.	BR Grief	(6-2) sokos13	@sokos13_
7.	Temur Prowess [Jegantha]	(6-2) _Falcon_
8.	Hardened Scales	(5-3) LordEgg
9.	BR Grief	(5-2) Martin_Dominguez	@RuloMTG
10.	UR Murktide	(5-2) Alico
11.	BG Yawgmoth	(5-2) lunaloveee
12.	GW Emeria Control	(5-2) levunga21	@levunga
13.	4c Goryo's Vengeance	(5-2) twister66
14.	BG Yawgmoth	(5-2) ARCll
15.	RW Burn	(5-2) rastaf	@MtgRastaf	[Twitch]
16.	4c Living End	(4-3) LucasG1ggs	@GiggsMtg
17.	Jeskai Urza	(4-3) gyyby297	@gyyby_mtg297
18.	UB Mill	(4-3) GingerGuy83
19.	4c Omnath	(4-3) TrueHero	@IsThatTrueHero
20.	Temur Prowess [Jegantha]	(4-3) Alan07	@AlanLB07
21.	BR Grief	(4-3) _Batutinha_	@_Batutinha_	[Twitch]
22.	UR Murktide	(4-3) O_danielakos
23.	UR Murktide	(4-3) Shiny_Beest
24.	RW Burn	(4-3) rasvd
25.	Domain Zoo [Jegantha]	(4-3) milikin
26.	RG Crimes [Jegantha]	(3-3) grinderA
27.	Mono B Rack	(4-3) medvedev	@m3dvedev
28.	Mono W Hammer	(4-3) Akeel
29.	4c Living End	(3-4) MeninoNey	@MeninooNey
30.	Amulet Titan	(3-4) Jumba
31.	BR Grief	(2-3) KatieKat
32.	BR Grief	(3-4) Capitano_CL
33.	4c Living End	(3-4) drVendigo
34.	RW Midrange	(3-4) DragonFodder	@BrindRobert
35.	4c Omnath	(3-4) alemilan19	@alemilan_19
36.	4c Living End	(3-4) Linden_43
37.	Mono W Hammer	(3-4) CARLONEE
38.	BR Grief	(2-4) JFoster
39.	Mono B Rack	(3-4) Selfeisek
40.	Jund Crimes [Jegantha]	(2-4) stefanocanclini
41.	Mono B Rack	(2-3) Makitren
42.	4c Goryo's Vengeance	(2-3) 2radMTG
43.	Affinity	(2-4) Dreddybajs	@PocketJacesCast	[Twitch]	[YouTube]
44.	Domain Zoo [Jegantha]	(2-3) pepeteam
45.	RG Tron	(2-4) AlpInco	@Alp_MTG	[Twitch]	[YouTube]
46.	RW Burn	(2-5) FranMtg
47.	4c Living End	(2-4) Sven745
48.	Bant Living End	(2-5) DevinShave	@Opt_gg	[Twitch]
49.	61-cards Mono G Stompy	(2-4) p00pInMyFacex3
50.	Jund Grief	(1-3) jeunejulio
51.	4c Omnath [Kaheera]	(1-2) McWinSauce	@McWinSauce
52.	BG Asmo	(1-3) Trollolas
53.	Domain Zoo [Jegantha]	(1-3) Venom1	@OowashiAkatsuki
54.	Esper Soulherder	(1-5) ChuckNoris43
55.	4c Rhinos	(1-2) Hatsunelol
56.	Glimpse	(0-3) Laranjinha-BR
57.	4c Living End	(0-2) magaramagara
58.	Temur Prowess [Jegantha]	(0-2) k00p4
59.	Jund Creativity	(0-2) avb
60.	Grixis Shadow	(0-2) Gernardi
61.	61-cards Amulet Titan	(0-2) Mistakenn	@Mistakenn1	[Twitch]
62.	4c Goryo's Vengeance	(0-2) ScoopDog
63.	RG Crimes [Jegantha]	(0-2) hugtheaquilifer
64.	Temur Prowess [Jegantha]	(0-1) Ale_Mtg	@Ale_mora_02
65.	BR Grief	(0-4) _ruda_
	Amulet Titan	gurig	@TaintedOpt
	BG Coffers [Umori]	Walri
	4c Living End	death_grips

50	Thursday Modern Challenge 2 (May 16 2024)
1.	Amulet Titan	(7-2) Filho_do_MOL
2.	RW Burn	(7-2) absoluteragez
3.	BG Yawgmoth	(6-2) Nammersquats	@Nammersquats	[Twitch]
4.	Temur Prowess [Jegantha]	(5-3) AnothaPlaya
5.	Amulet Titan	(6-1) HouseOfManaMTG	@HouseOfManaMTG	[Twitch]	[YouTube]
6.	RW Burn	(5-2) izzy-wilde
7.	RW Prowess	(5-2) Bosseidon	@BosseidonRed	[Twitch]	[YouTube]
8.	Affinity [Jegantha]	(5-2) jfariv
9.	Grixis Grief	(4-2) SinKarma
10.	BR Grief	(4-2) Capitano_CL
11.	Temur Prowess [Jegantha]	(4-2) mtgobazaar8
12.	Temur Prowess [Jegantha]	(4-2) Alan07	@AlanLB07
13.	Temur Prowess [Jegantha]	(4-2) k00p4
14.	Domain Zoo [Jegantha]	(4-2) The_Kingpin
15.	Amulet Titan	(4-2) Jumba
16.	Domain Zoo [Jegantha]	(4-2) jcubby02100
17.	4c Omnath [Kaheera]	(3-3) Viatt
18.	BR Grief	(3-3) AmadeusPro
19.	61-cards Amulet Titan	(3-3) _EzMud1
20.	BR Grief	(3-3) jben
21.	Amulet Titan	(3-3) Ivan_Draw_Go	@Ivan_Draw_Go	[Twitch]
22.	Abzan Amalia	(3-3) xerioc
23.	Affinity	(3-3) TheNectar
24.	BG Yawgmoth	(3-3) SleepingSnorunt
25.	Amulet Titan	(3-3) gurig	@TaintedOpt
26.	4c Living End	(3-3) death_grips
27.	UW Control [Kaheera]	(3-3) nahuel10	@Nahuel10Mtg
28.	UR Control	(3-3) Joryago
29.	BR Grief	(3-3) No_e_that_knows	@Noe_leal_jr
30.	BG Yawgmoth	(3-3) Zorro7x4
31.	BG Coffers [Jegantha]	(2-3) selesneal	@selesneal
32.	Domain Zoo [Jegantha]	(1-4) _and_one_
33.	UW Control [Kaheera]	(2-4) bless_von
34.	BR Grief	(2-4) jvidarte
35.	UR Murktide	(1-4) Toki_85
36.	UW Control [Kaheera]	(2-4) vSUPREME973
37.	4c Living End	(1-4) Oppa
38.	RW Burn	(1-4) _BOI_
39.	61-cards RG Ponza	(1-3) OrnatePuzzles	@Jaawls
40.	Temur Prowess [Jegantha]	(1-3) jessy_samek	@Jessy_samek
41.	Esper Control [Kaheera]	(1-3) 2805667
42.	RW Burn	(0-2) Cachorrowo
43.	BR Grief	(0-3) DannyStarchild
44.	BG Yawgmoth	(0-2) TheMeatMan	@MeatMTG	[Twitch]	[YouTube]
45.	BR Grief	(0-3) f1shmagic
46.	RG Crimes [Jegantha]	(0-2) bunnyfat
47.	UG Infect	(0-2) ItsMattox
48.	UR Breach	(0-2) YungDingo	@YungDingoMTG	[Twitch]	[YouTube]
49.	Bant Living End	(0-2) WingedHussar	@WingedHussarMTG	[Twitch]
50.	Dice Factory	(0-3) Spy_1

Full Metagame Breakdown

9 Bx Grief (8 BR, 1 Jund) 8 Living End (7 4c, 1 Bant) 4 Amulet Titan 4 Temur Prowess 3 BG Yawgmoth 3 UR Murktide 3 4c Goryo's Vengeance 3 RW Burn 3 4c Omnath 3 Domain Zoo 3 Crimes (2 RG, 1 Jund) 3 Mono B Rack 2 Mono W Hammer 1 Hardened Scales 1 GW Emeria Control 1 Jeskai Urza 1 UB Mill 1 RW Midrange 1 Affinity 1 RG Tron 1 Mono G Stompy 1 BG Asmo 1 Esper Soulherder 1 4c Rhinos 1 Glimpse 1 Jund Creativity 1 Grixis Shadow 

8 Bx Grief (7 BR, 1 Grixis) 6 Amulet Titan 6 Rx Prowess (5 Temur, 1 RW) 4 RW Burn 4 BG Yawgmoth 4 UWx Control (3 UW, 1 Esper) 3 Domain Zoo 3 Living End (2 4c, 1 Bant) 2 Affinity 1 4c Omnath 1 Abzan Amalia 1 UR Control 1 BG Coffers 1 UR Murktide 1 RG Ponza 1 RG Crimes 1 UG Infect 1 UR Breach 1 Dice Factory 

X-2 or better Archetype Breakdown

3 Bx Grief (3 BR) 3 BG Yawgmoth 2 Amulet Titan 1 Living End (1 4c) 1 Temur Prowess 1 UR Murktide 1 4c Goryo's Vengeance 1 RW Burn 1 Hardened Scales 1 GW Emeria Control 

5 Rx Prowess (4 Temur, 1 RW) 3 Amulet Titan 2 Bx Grief (1 Grixis, 1 BR) 2 RW Burn 2 Domain Zoo 1 BG Yawgmoth 1 Affinity 

New Cards (OTJ/BIG)

Caustic Bronco Roxanne, Starfall Savant Slickshot Show-Off Lavaspur Boots Honest Rutstein Magda, the Hoardmaster Freestrider Lookout Requisition Raid Satoru, the Infiltrator Assimilation Aegis Pillage the Bog Three Steps Ahead Fomori Vault Pest Control Simulacrum Synthesizer Lost Jitte 

Follow me on Twitter!

• @bamzing_mtg

I thought she could change, but that doesn't seem to be the case. She's acting sneaky again.
And this time I don't care to play detective. I could have opened her chat app she left open on her computer last night, yet I didn't. I don't care to look for proof, because I don't need it.
You know the saying: Where there's smoke, there's fire. There's smoke and there may or may not be fire, but the fact remains - there's smoke when there shouldn't be smoke.
I remained with her despite her not leaving that job. Despite her seeing that co-worker every day, I remained. I gave it a shot knowing that the job market is tough, and didn't require her to leave it even after everything that she did with that guy.
So what's my plan now? It's to emotionally detach. I don't do break ups well. They affect me a little too much. So this time I'll prepare for the pain; I'll ease into it before stripping the band-aid off. She can do as she likes and I won't investigate. I won't even ask. Her deception will only cement my emotional detachment - it will only cement the idea that my decision is the correct one.
I love her, but it's clearly not mutual. She could have left that job for another one. At the minimum, she could have followed my few requirements as she continued working there, while not acting dodgy and sneaky.
I moved countries to be with her. I left my family behind. And gave up on my business prospects. I don't regret it; it was worth a shot - love is always worth a shot. But it doesn't appear to be mutual. Leaving a job to find another one in your country, in your town, should be easy. Yet she has barely tried.
There's no point in further communicating with her. She denies all of this, and claims she loves me. But actions speak so much louder than words. She seems to want two men groveling over her at once, but I'm not into threesomes. She can have this other guy she likely idealized in her head, and experience the reality of things without me in the picture. I welcome it.
How does one detach emotionally while living together and sleeping in the same bed? I'm not completely sure. But I know journaling will help, and that's where I'll start. Her birthday is coming up and I'll celebrate it with her, give her gifts, etc. So that will be difficult. But I still love her, and I can love her in another way - maybe in a paternal way, not a lovers way.

I'm selling most of my U2 and Led Zeppelin albums. These are all well cared for. Shipping via Media Mail.
Led Zeppelin - Led Zeppelin $17 - VG/VG+

• https://www.discogs.com/release/438865-Led-Zeppelin-Led-Zeppelin-III?ev=item-vc
• Vinyl has wear, but it plays through it. The sleeve is closer to NM. Nice looking, with just minor edge wear. Small X in black marker, back cover, lower right.

Led Zeppelin II - Vinyl is NM, Cover is VG. $25

• https://www.discogs.com/sell/item/3079457261?ev=bp_img
• Gatefold in excellent condition. X in black marker on the back covelower right. Very mild ring wear on rear. Conservative grading. Gatefold is closer to VG+.

Led Zeppelin III - VG/VG - $12

• https://www.discogs.com/release/438865-Led-Zeppelin-Led-Zeppelin-III?ev=item-vc
• Vinyl with light scratches/scuffs, doesn't affect play. Cover has noticeable edge and ring wear on front and back and one small tear (front cover). Interior of gatefold looks good. Rivet works and rotates well. OIS included

Led Zeppelin CODA - VG+/VG+ $20

• https://www.discogs.com/release/1208654-Led-Zeppelin-Coda
• Vinyl is almost NM. Cover has small X in black marker on back lower right, but otherwise NM.

Led Zeppelin - In Through The Out Door $35 NM/NM

• https://www.discogs.com/release/10340960-Led-Zeppelin-In-Through-The-Out-Door?ev=item-vc
• Vinyl is perfect. The cover is also in perfect condition. It has been stored in the brown bag cover that is fully in tact and also in excellent condition. Brown bag has X in black marker on lower left corner. OIS included that has a split, but could be repaired.

Led Zeppelin - Houses of the Holy $60 VG+/VG+

• https://www.discogs.com/release/3774792-Led-Zeppelin-Houses-Of-The-Holy
• Very conservative grade. Vinyl has one light scratch. Both Vinyl and Sleeve are VG+/NM

Led Zeppelin - Live- Melancholy Danish Page Boys - VG+/VG+ 3 LP's $250

• https://www.discogs.com/release/3548048-Led-Zeppelin-Melancholy-Danish-Pageboys-Get-It-On/
• Rare Danish Fan Club live recording. All three records are in good condition. Labels are plain white. Happy to send photos.

U2 - Live - Strength of the Youth - $50 Vinyl NM, Cover VG+

• https://www.discogs.com/release/2527355-U2-The-Strength-Of-The-Youth
• Rare Belgium Import. White labels, Vinyl was rarely played. Great condition.

U2 - Boy $15 VG+/VG+

• https://www.discogs.com/release/2057236-U2-Boy?ev=item-vc
• Side 1 better than Side 2, but both are in great condition. Cover has minor creasing/ring wear. X in black marker on lower right corner. Includes insert.

U2 October $13 VG+VG+

• https://www.discogs.com/release/22046518-U2-October
• Vinyl is excellent. Sleeve is VG+ with some minor wear. Black X lower left corner of back.

U2 - Joshua Tree - $40 Vinyl is NM, Cover VG+

• https://www.discogs.com/release/9352546-U2-The-Joshua-Tree?ev=item-vc
• Vinyl is pristine. Light ring wear on cover. OIS included.

U2 - Unforgettable Fire - $20 Vinyl is NM, Cover is VG+

• https://www.discogs.com/release/12874659-U2-The-Unforgettable-Fire?ev=item-vc
• Vinyl has one very, very light scratch. Cover is in great shape. Black X in marker on back/lower right. OIS.

U2 - War $22 VG+/VG+

• https://www.discogs.com/release/4747737-U2-War?ev=item-vc
• Vinyl closer to NM. Cover is in great condition. Black X in marker, back lower right.

U2 - Wide Awake in America $5 NM/VG+

• https://www.discogs.com/release/2535614-U2-Wide-Awake-In-America?ev=item-vc
• Vinyl looks unplayed. X in black marker on the lower left corner. Otherwise like new.

I bough t 2 nanos that weren’t working for $30can, $22us. In the fantasy work they would have worked right after charging, and I would have posted a message about “I can’t believe how much I scored!” ;-) But I need some help.
The newest looking one seems to be closest to functional. Everything is working other that display is 100% dark. I had a 5th gen nano whose light was broken, but if you shone a bright light at the screen at the right angle you could see a little bit of the info. But when I do this 7th gen, I see zilch.
I know it is otherwise working as iTunes recognizes and works with it, the car stereo works with it, and if I touch the screen in the right spots, I can get it to play.
Before I open it up, any other suggestions? I have never cracked a Nano and had it live to talk about it! (Tho I hear a 7th gen is easier to deal with than the 5th.)

Here is the story. My girlfriend (engaged) of 3 years have never been really fond of one of my friends becouse she is simply not the same gender as me. My friend and i have been close frinds (the kind that last a lifetime) for almost 6 years so my gf came into my life after i already had this friend.
Me and my friend have never been intrested in each other it has simply just been a friend to friend relationship eith no hidden agrnda. Me and my friend met while going to a university, but we don't live close so we don't hang out much at all, mostly just plays together (with other guy friend too) and make text a little once in a while (not even every day or each other day).
Recently i got a really good career oppertunity. I got a job offer with about 50% better sallery, better condition for saveings and a lot of other benefits. That job is in the same city as my friend lives in and we decided to move. I have promised her we will never hang out 1 on 1, but there will always be other people there, i will always tell her when we hang out, and she will always be offered to join us if she wants. My gf have started beeing angry at me and almost saying i have to choose her or my friend. She don't trust my friend and i almost feel insultefd that she don't trust me enough to let us be friends. She have lately started going trough my phone almost every day (which i got no problem with) and i even showed her our chats to prove there were nothing else then friendship between us.
I don't really know what i want to get out of this, am i wrong for keeping my friend? What should i do forward now?

Just another fun little story idea I had. I am still working on Humans are the violent ones but I like to bounce around and experiment with ideas to see what I really like. I also suck at writing more casual stories, as they give me severe writer's block as I try to map out how to make a scene feel genuine in my head, but I promise I'll update that soon. If you like this story and want to see more, then like and comment. I'll gladly continue this series as well.
Start of Personal Log
Humans don't like being told what to do. They don't like being commanded, put in their place, or snubbed. It was an inexorable, inalienable trait of humans, at least any noteable humans, to go against any authority that they believed was against their interests.
Humanity would not fit amongst the stars. Few ever did. It was a trait of most successful species to be willful, ambitious, and to desire more. But once they reached the stars the new (and simultaneously very old) pecking order either quashed any spirit such species had or simply eradicated them. Countless tomb worlds and diaspora served as painful reminders of what became of the nails that chose to stick out. The hammer of order would always strike. There could be no compromise, the very soul of the authority that held the Jurisdiction together relied on a show of unmatched power, or at least the illusion of item.
In reality, the Jurisdiction was an old, fat, and lazy beast. It filled its belly on the corpses of empires far and wide, and sated its bloodlust on the shattered dreams of hopeful cubs. It had every right to, for none could challenge it: there were no new frontiers to explore, nor were there any other enemies to conquer. The Milky Way, as humans had so strangely dubbed our cradle galaxy, as well as Andromeda, had long since been warred over and settled for millennia before humanity had arrived, bright-eyed and with familiar yet otherwise foolish dreams of cooperation and prosperity. The Jurisdiction did not cooperate, nor did it ensure prosperity. Oh, it claimed it did, but in reality it simply took. The rest was just the peace that came with not being the direct target of the biggest fish in the pond. The humans didn't like that, but they had no choice.
Slavery was a common tribute. The Jurisdiction had no use for other resources: it simply took. No, it wanted those who could facilitate that unequal exchange, those raised in a world where the only morality was the one set by your lord. The Jurisdiction was held together by expectations, obligations, and dury more than any kind of shared dream, so when you were ordered to take you did so without question. Humanity was new: they had no niche or value that set them apart, but they had a penchant for killing and taking, so the Jurisdiction gave them a taste of how the galaxy worked. They killed and they took. The humans didn't like that, but what choice did they have?
Humans were strange. They learned, but not in the way most species learned. Most species learned to adapt in a passive way, to adhere to the world around them. They flowed like water, moving past and around obstacles and confirming to the boxes they were assigned too. Humans didn't confirm, nor did they adapt: they made their circumstances fit their desires. They would not move around obstacles, but rather smash through them, and they refused to stay in one box for too long. The Jurisdiction merely saw them as a particularly loud nuisance, but those who faced their wrath knew better.
It is said that when a beast seeks to make an example, it shall humble its rival by killing it's cubs. Children were one of those universal constants that brought entire communities together: the Sok’klar saw their hatchlings as gifts, shaped by the fruitful currents of the universe in perfect harmony. The Yarrack saw each and every newborn whelp as an uncut gemstone, ready to be shaped into something magical. Humanity oftentimes referred to their offspring as angels, or spirits of unbridled good sent by the gods themselves. Children were seen by most of the galaxy as gifts.
The Jurisdiction saw them as a lever to inflict suffering. It had become quite effective at enacting psychological punishments on those that stood up and spoke out. You dare to disobey? You believe you can speak out? Your gifts shall be taken from you, and you shall be without joy.
Humans didn't like this, but the Jurisdiction would have their pound of flesh, and humankind would kneel. And they did. But humans were patient creatures: most species who retained that trait of willful spit also lacked patience.
I had long since become desensitized to the Jurisdiction’s actions: it was simply how the universe worked now, as if it were a constant akin to gravity. Cruelty was the unspoken rule of this seemingly unending age, where our lives never appeared to move forward or backwards, only lay dormant. The Jurisdiction had been the unyielding authority that ruled the galaxy for thousands of years, venerable yet feared all the same.
And for the longest time I was just another cog in its wheel. My name is Kalnuracht Sedjuur-Noumar VII, and was the scion of the noble house Sedjuur-Noumar. I was born into what most would describe as veiled apathy, living a life that could be attributed to the privileged class of feared scribes that enacted the will of those above. I was an administrator and nothing more. And now I am doomed to be far less than that in the eyes of my former constituents within the endless administration. I am the only scion, as is tradition, and without an heir I am the last of my house, our name to be scrubbed from the records, worthless, meaningless, and forgotten.
I am merely Kalnuracht, nothing else and nothing more. I have seen from their eyes, the eyes of the downtrodden, and it makes my crimes of association with the Jurisdiction feel all the more damning on my worthless soul. I am worthless to the world, and this is my story.
End Personal Log #1
Start of Neural Lace Narrative Log #1
They came from the black like carrion birds in the night, encircling our convoy as if it were a dying animal ready to be picked clean without remorse. There was no warning, no list of demands sent out as civilized peoples did, nor was there either any requirement for unconditional surrender nor chance to parlay, as was done so under letter of marque: this was an unmistakable call for violence and nothing else. They sought to reduce us to slag and scavenge the rest.
So, as one would expect, the entire bridge of the ship was nearing a panicked state. This was not the actions of those practicing civility, but rather the common behaviors of despoiling barbarians, the kind that tore their way through the dark reaches of the galaxy as if they owned it.
“Wayfinder, what do your probes see?” Shouted the ship’s sovereign. He was an older Kar’Rowmach, an amphibious cephalopod species with a venerable history within the Jurisdiction going back thousands of years. Normally one such as him would be above me if it weren't for the fact that I was under the authority of the Jurisdiction’s seal of office. He didn't like me very much, but most of his kind shared the same sentiment.
“All dark, honorable Sovereign: the sensor arrays are wailing but the feedback we're reviewing is beyond incomprehensible,” the wayfinder replied with a certain restrained temper in his voice. The Sok'klar wayfinder swayed gently, his tentacled limbs grasping different metallo-liquid braille output arrays, the liquid gallium flexing and reshaping unnaturally to allow him to to take in multiple different sources of sensory output at once, with the primary navigation computer plugged into the cybernetics surrounding his opaque, gelatinous head and plugging directly into his tube-shaped brain.
The Sovereign cursed in Loskat and pointed to his bridge crew while I simply sat in the back, near the Sovereign’s symbolic throne. “Prepare countermeasures and spool up the warp drive, we cannot allow the amanuensis to be taken! He carries sensitive information that only he can translate and transcribe!”
As the bridge crew nodded and began fiddling with their own systems, I preened my feathered hide anxiously. I wasn't a fighter: us nobles of the cloth were the educated minority above all else, not those who waged war or partook in hard labor. Special cybernetics in my brain allowed me to translate triple-encoded messages that usually took a ducal signet codekey or above to parse, but even without that I was a skilled mathematician and logician. I had terabytes worth of knowledge stored within the hardware installed in my head, all well protected of course, but if I were to die it would still be a waste. I could only imagine the damage any malcontenders could do with it if they were able to get their filthy hands on me.
Suddenly, the ship rocked, and the gallium overhead display began to form crescendos like I'd never seen before. “Sovereign, decks A-3 through C-12 are venting atmosphere and our coolant systems have been obliterated,” the Wayfinder spoke in an almost serene voice, as if he was completely unconcerned by current events. I knew they were simply incapable of tonal displays, but it was unnerving nonetheless. “Once we jump, we will not be able to risk another until the vacuum of the void can reduce temperatures to acceptable levels within the plasma capacitors.”
“Damn them,” the armored nautiloid hissed, his barbed feelers coiling in frustration, “May the currents take them. What are our options? what can we see? This fleet cannot fall to the void today, not with such vital cargo.” My hackles rose lightly at the Kar’Rowmach referred to me as some object rather than an esteemed amanuensis of the Jurisdiction, but I bit my forked tongue. Now was not the time to squabble with the sovereign over who was what and what titles I deserved, not while he was so desperately attempting to keep what semblance of order within his fleet that he had left.
I could not blame the crew for being panicked either: wars were practically mythologized now, having been long since rendered obsolete with the rise of the Jurisdiction, and that felt like an eternity ago. Now, either being levied into or joining a ducal naval force was simply another career, more akin to serving as an officer of the law rather than a fully fledged soldier. Minimal training was required, most of it being the technicals of one's duty rather than any kind of combat conditioning, so expecting a fleet to actually be prepared for a combat scenario in a universe where peace was the norm was laughable.
“We are practically blind, Sovereign,” stated the Sok'klar Wayfinder, “our probes are offline, and shipboard graviton displacement sensory arrays have been rendered unreliable at best.”
“What about the particle emission array? Has there been a spike in radioactivity where we were hit?”
The Wayfinder seemed to think for a second, his gelatinous form flexing and morphing a bit before answering. “Affirmative, a jump from negligible to forty billion becquerels along decks A through E-5 on our starboard side.”
“Torpedoes…” the Sovereign hissed, stroking his barbed feelers, “Human Torpedoes. Only those primitives would rely on crude nuclear warheads.” He then turned to his militant leaders on the ship. “Noddos, Rel’ads: organize your phalanxes and prepare to repel boarders. We are bound to be assailed by those rancorous primates, and I want their skulls piled at my feet if they dare set foot on our ship.”
“Your wish is our command, Sovereign,” the two militant commanders spoke as one. Noddos, a large bipedal with multiple sets of curved spines running down his back, a pair of graceful horns sprouting from his head, and multiple rows of sharp teeth in his snout, bowed first, followed by Rel’ads, a marsupial with long saberteeth and thick fur. They both must have been fierce warriors in their own right to each lead a phalanx. They wore thick, semi-powered armor and held dueling polearms alongside their usual plasma casters, and seemed completely unfazed by the situation we were in. As they stomped out of the brightly lit bridge, I let out a quiet squawk of discontentment. “Sovereign, why haven't we jumped again? We are wasting precious time.”
“I am working on it, you spineless beaurocrat!” He warbled back, his feelers tensing in anger, “besides, it's not as if you're the one who will be spilling blood today, amanuensis, so flatten your wretched beak or I shall weld it shut with a plasma torch.
I was about to reply with something indignant, but the ship rocked again, this time causing the lights to flicker and the air to become… thick. The skin under my feathers began to blister, and I became lightheaded and confused. “Seal the damnable vents, initiate radiation scrubbers, and activate secondary life support!” Shouted the Sovereign, “Their nuclear weapons are rendering the ship inhospitable!”
I coughed up magenta blood accidentally, and I could feel more seeping from under my eyes. Some of the crew was in a similar position, but others were more resistant to radiation than I. The Sok'klar seemed completely at ease as he ran his tentacles across his morphic braille arrays before calmly announcing the ship’s status. “I've regained some control over our probes: ten, twelve, and seventeen are active and fully functional, the rest are either still malfunctioning or permanently inoperable. A rapid rise in localized radiation is also interfering with the detection of graviton displacement; we can't sense photon redirection, thus readings will remain inconclusive.
“Wayfinder, damn you, get me some kind of out here! We're easy prey until we can respond in kind!”
“Negative, something has gone awry with our processing hub, I am attempting to troubleshoot-”
And with that, the Wayfinder’s bulbous head exploded in a cascade of opaque lavender blood, covering the front half of the deck crew like a morbid art piece. Some of the crew screamed and shouted in terror before removing their cranial adaptors and choosing to interact with their displays manually. Others died just as quickly, unable to unplug in time as their brain stems fried or their blood boiled. It was a horrible way to go, having your insides neutralized by your own cybernetics, so I was glad I wasn't connected to the system.
“Cybernetic warfare! All systems are to be considered compromised, switch to manual settings or you'll be killed!”
The lights in the bridge flickered again, and the displays went haywire. The bridge crew, which obviously weren't acquainted with working without being hard-linked into the mainframe, moved at a much slower pace.
“Launch missile pods A through F and set to self-target after five hundred kilometers, then rely on their ballistic coordinates to begin firing broadsides! If we can't see the humans due to their meddling, we'll just have to feel them.” Shouted the Sovereign, “and got me a detailed report on the ship’s diagnostics readings. I need to know if this flagship is still capable of escaping or if we'll have to scuttle it and retreat on another.”
“Acknowledged, Sovereign, launching now,” affirmed another deck officer as he swiped across his own gallium output array. I could hear the dull thunk, thunk, thunk of missiles pushing out of their pods before racing off to their intended targets, then the mechanical whirring as the pods rotated to be reloaded by slaves in the lower decks. I was regaining my bearings as the many horrible sensations of being overwhelmed by radiation poisoning were beginning to subside, but I still felt as if I had been microwaved. The air was stale, the crew was horribly sick as well, and even the sovereign himself seemed to be on his last leg. I was beginning to believe that I might die here.
“Sovereign, a message from the lower decks,” shouted a communications officer, his chitin scraping against itself as he turned quickly, “they're requesting reinforcements, something about being overrun.”
“Impossible,” the Sovereign hissed out in a vain attempt to exude confidence, “We must outnumber the humans, they always go for bigger targets out of arrogance.”
“I've received reports that it's not just humans: the primates seem to make up only a third or so of the assailing force, along with some Phaeldaer and Vrex.”
The commander slammed his clawed hands down on his own output array in a fit of rage, obviously overwhelmed by the circumstances, “Then this wasn't just a typical assault, but something more sinister!” The nautiloid warbled, blood seeping from his shell as the full effects of the radiation took hold, “Get Rel’ads on the line, have him divert all spare lances to the lower decks or else we'll lose the only offensive capabilities we can use.”
“Rel'ads has gone dark, Sovereign, his vitals are critical.”
“Then either get me Rel'ads tail-leader or get me Noddos!” He screamed in rage, “don't give me this nonsense! If we don't pick it up we're all going to die, is that what you want?”
“No, Sovereign, I'm simply overwhelmed-”
“We're all overwhelmed! By the tides, I'm dying of radiation poisoning you nincompoop! Get me something I can work with!”
The officer didn't even acknowledge the Sovereign after that, simply turning back to his display. Eventually, the Sovereign was able to get Noddos on the line.
“Sovereign, two thirds of my phalanxes have been decimated by combat with the primitives and the radiation, the rest are in shambles. We must retreat and fortify elsewhere!”
“Then the ship is compromised! Rel'ads is unresponsive and the lower decks are swarming with intruders. We must evacuate the amanuensis to another ship.”
Just as the Sovereign spoke, I heard several gentle thumps rattle against the bridge’s door, and it made me uneasy. Some of the bridge crew seemed to feel the same, as they looked incredibly nervous and some even drew their sidearms. Just as the sovereign turned to give further orders, the door blew inward with a deafening explosion, followed by shouting and gunfire. Several of the bridge officers were dispatched quickly, brain matter and blood splattering against the delicate electronics. Others were shot in the legs, the torso, or in any other exotic yet non-vital body parts. The humans poured in, brandishing primitive ballistic firearms and jury-rigged energy weapons while wearing scavenged, legion-grade powered armor.
The Sovereign was the next to go, but he wasn't afforded an honorable death. He was shot along the arm with a particularly potent plasma caster, burning off his clawed hand and cauterizing the wound, the acrid smell of roasting chitin filling the already hot and cramped bridge. He fell back against his output array, the gallium reaching new highs and lows as more diagnostics and casualty reports were delivered, and he clutched his stump angrily. “I'll burn every last one of you in the foundries! I'll tie you to stakes, cover you in wax and set you alight! Your screams will be broadcasted all over the galaxy!”
One human warrior stomped up and slammed the butt of his rifle into the sovereign’s face, shattering his facial plates and causing blue blood to splatter across his section of the bridge. “Shut the fuck up, you mutant lobster,” the human said before dragging him by both antennae towards the center of the bridge and receiving a stained breeching axe from one of his comrades. “Emmanuel, start recording. We need proof.”
The other human nodded and pressed a button on his armor before lifting up his gun again. The rest of the humans fanned out, holding everyone else at gunpoint. I tried to get up and sneak out, but a human grabbed me by my neck and nearly wrung it out as he forced me to my knees and pointed a sidearm to my skull. “Get down, you piece of shit, before I blow your brains out too.”
“Damnable primate,” I hissed, but he bashed me in my skull with the base of his sidearm’s grip and sent me sprawling, making my already pounding headache worse. Another human shouted at him in a language I didn't recognize, but he sounded furious. The first brought me back up to my knees again, and I complies with a hiss and a groan, blood still leaking from my eyes and mouth and my world was spinning.
The Sovereign struggled, but he was weak from the radiation poisoning and he couldn't exactly resist on account of his lost arm. The human with the breaching ax kicked the Sovereign down and forced him to kneel before lifting up the breeching ax and splitting his chitinous head down the middle with one powerful swing, sending more blood and brains across the floor. “Execution confirmed, take his antennae just in case and we've got ourselves a bounty. Now all we need is that ugly cat’s teeth and the fat hedgehog-thing’s grimy spines and we'll be in business. Although, they do have skulls… we might as well just take their heads.”
The real horror of the situation dawned on me at that moment: they were going to kill us all, or maybe worse. They mentioned a bounty for the commanders, and multiple of the higher ranking ship officers were already dead, their brains splattered against the walls or their bodies torn apart by gunfire. I wasn't dead yet, but that didn't mean much since I wasn't an immediate threat.
“Alright, round them up and bring all the grunts to the hanger bay, then kill the rest,” the leader of the humans said in such a lackadaisical manner that his complete disregard for life almost made me sick… almost. I had seen worse from the Jurisdiction before, but usually that was from me delivering some kind of ordered judgment on a world that had sinned against order. I might have simply been the messenger, but I had seen many of the outcomes. “And make sure to collect whatever proof of bounties you can, we'll need to deliver them to the office to get cashed out. Don't let this be a repeat of last time where Juarez fucking forgot to take a few heads and it ended up cutting our profits in half, the fucking retard.”
Some of the humans chuckled at that as they dragged more of the senior officers away, out of the room and into the hall,where I heard gunshots. The rest of the bridge crew froze in place, different fear instincts kicking in. The remaining Sok'klar corralled together into what seemed to be a singular, semi-congealed mass as if to try and trick the humans into believing that they were much bigger and much more threatening than they actually were. The one Thei’chi on the bridge, an ensign who had clearly thought this would be a simple mission, bore her curved fangs at the humans and growled as they approached, her hackles completely vertical and her eyes dilated. They quickly muzzled and bound her before beating her over the head with a gun stock, sending her sprawling onto the ground. Many others simply cooperated, eyes wide and yet simultaneously empty, as if they couldn't quite process that the ship had been taken and the commanding officers were being executed as the rest were escorted to the hangar.
“Get the damn messenger down to the hanger as well, we need whatever data's in his ugly lizard head, then we can decide on what to do with him.”
I spat at him in spite, as if to try and seem brave, but it was clearly an empty gesture. “You won't get anything, primate! You couldn't possibly crack the encryption!”
The human holding me seemed to wind up for another swing, but the commanding officer simply held up his hand to stop my tormentor before strolling over to me. He knelt down and removed his helmet, revealing a beige-colored face covered in scars, wiry black hair cut down to the scalp, and multiple tattoos. “You're really fucking mouthy for a hostage,” he said before punching me across my beak faster than I could register. I heard a sharp crack as his fist connected, and my head spun again as the metallic taste of blood pooled into my mouth. “I'd advise you to shut up, but I'm sure you won't listen: you aristocratic types are so full of yourselves. Maybe I should have you flogged in the public square until your vocal chords give out once we rip those cybernetics from your head, huh? How's that sound?”
“It won't matter… it won't change anything… the Jurisdiction will hunt you down.”
“Maybe, but I doubt it will happen for some time: they really suck at doing anything that requires effort, even when they're mad enough. They just keep sending their rabid lapdogs to try and smoke us out, and they always end up full of holes,” the human officer said with a smirk, his yellowish-white teeth and green eyes sending shivers down my spine as he drew his knife. “They're just horrible at their job, you know? You've all gotten so lazy and incompetent after being able to just take what you want without resistance, and now that you've met people who are angry and crazy enough to fight back you act as if we're committing some grave injustice,” he placed the knife against my throat, the flat just underneath my now bent beak, “No, we just took a few pages out of your book, ‘cept we've got standards. No kids, for one…” he seemed to look off into the distance as his sneer deepened, “but it's more than that, we don't attack the defenseless in general and we still win against you all in fair fights.”
I went to say something else snarky, but he quickly grabbed my thin tongue with his fingers and yanked it out, blood from my mouth pulling to the floor as he held the blade of his knife against it. “No no, none of that. Say one more thing and I'll cut that rancid little tongue of yours out of your mouth and feed it to you,” he hissed at me, pressing the blade down just hard enough to draw blood. “Do you know what it's like to see a planet turn into a tomb?" he asked me, gritting his teeth, “Do you know what it's like to see everything you've ever known crumble to ash and glass, all the life and the green stripped away leaving nothing but bones? I do. I've seen it happen to countless worlds, and my grandfather always told me stories of how you bastards did it to Earth. He still prays in its direction five times a day, to Mecca, but he knows the Kaaba is gone now, or maybe it's still there, buried in the bones of those who sought refuge there.”
I didn't care for the human’s nonsensical beliefs, but I did care to correct him. “I've seen it before, and I'll see it again. And so will you, it's inevitable. The Jurisdiction will always have its judgment fulfilled, there is no alternative.”
“One day, I hope we can rectify that,” he said, then he sheathed his knife and slammed my head against the metal floor with enough force to nearly knock me out. As I lost consciousness, I could hear him speak. “Take him to the Chop Doc, and make sure the cybernetics don't get damaged: they're supposedly more valuable than any bounty on this ship.”
Warning: Severe radiation poisoning detected. Flush system immediately.
Warning: Neural Lace removal detected, chance of neurological damage high. Proceeded with caution.

Me F(22) and my ex husband (23) were married when we were married at (19) and (20). We got married so young. He was in the military and he was during basic training. I believe that we had the best relationship before the army. We were both heavily in love with each other. But then the army happened and got married. My parents never really liked the ideas of getting married and we did it anyways without them knowing. It created a hard time for us. He was stationed in the Texas. Hundreds of miles away from where we lived. We did long distance until I got out of our lease and moved with him. I was constantly told by my parents that he is using me for the bah money, or not to feel lonely. I never did I feel that way until we got divorced but I don’t know what to feel about that anymore. I’ll explain more after I add more information to our story. He got into a car accident and the car totaled so he need a new car. Which added to debts and with the debts came the problems. We had so many debts and the army pressure never helped us. I worked for a few months but i quit my job cause it wasn’t good for my mental health. I can attribute some of the blame. I could have continued to work and paid off our debts but i couldn’t. I went into a heavy depression state that I didn’t realize I was in. I did do things around the house like cook dinner (not all the time cause I didn’t have any motivation to do it so we order DoorDash), I used to do laundry in the bathtub because he was so busy and tired to go to laundry may, I constantly picked up and cleaned the house. I could have done more. I know I’m partially to blame for a lot of things. I had trust issues but those added to our problems. One day I was gone for a month, I went to spend time at a youth group trip with his mom and then I went to see my parents after that. When I got to Texas his best friend told me that he was trying to sleep with another woman while I was gone. Which killed me. I asked him when he got home and he told me that he was trying to but he didn’t do anything with her and was trying to seem like it cause his friend was pushing it on him. I forgave him and push past it. I fucked up too. I did something that i regretted and still regret till this day. I loved him and I still do. I don’t think I will ever stop loving him. We were had our fights like always. It was always about money and how I wasn’t valuing him and he wasn’t valuing me. I think the only time that we didn’t fight was the last month we had before he deployed. We were so happy. We spent our time together watching movies, playing card games, playing video games, just being the same kids we were before we got married. I miss those days sometimes. I wish I could turn back time and do things differently. Now the hard part. The divorce. I never wanted to be divorced. He was/still is my person. The person who understands you to the core. The person that you can be yourself without shame or guilt. The person that your heart beats from no matter how much it hurts when they break it or damage it. The person that you picked in a room filled with people who you have loved in the past/future. He is that person. My ex deployed and was gone for six months. Three months into the deployment he stopped calling me, he stopped snapping me, he stopped talking to me. It felt like he shut down on me. I begged him to call me or anything. We went through a dark phase. Then he got back to the states and we were good for a while. He came to visit his mom for Christmas through new years. Our anniversary was the 30th of December. His mother lives 4 hours away from my parents house where I was staying while he was away. He didn’t bother to spend our anniversary together or even bother to say happy anniversary. Which killed me inside. On New Year’s Day I sent him a message that it seemed that he didn’t want me in his life anymore so I was setting him free. But on his way back to Texas he and I talked and we were going to make it work but 8 days later. He met a girl. He hide our marriage status, archived post that he made of me, and hid our pictures. Which made me think he did the same thing he did when I was away. I decided that I wasn’t going to stand for it so I asked him to file for divorce. He agreed. It was a little messy. I found pictures of him and this girl on a romantic date, he got dressed up in a suit, had a picture of her on his lap. So much which set me off and I became petty and tried to fuck him over with the army for it. This is where things get complicated. This week I had to go to separate our things because he had everything in a storage unit. When I got there we were polite to each other and we talked to each other. He explained to me that nothing happened with that girl. They went with a group but only made a reservation for two, she was awake for the picture of her hand on his lap, she was wearing the same clothes from that night in the morning cause she slept in them but she didn’t sleep at his apartment, and that she knew what was going on. Which I don’t know what to believe. I want to believe him and I kinda do believe him but I don’t know. I love him but everyone around me telling me to not believe him. I was a mess for months when things were going wrong between us. I didn’t want to lose him but I feel like I lost him. He said we can be friends. I want him in my life but I always want to be us again. I know in my heart that I can never really move on from him. I always want him in my life but I don’t know what to do or what to believe. My parents hate him because they believe he is a liar and will constantly hurt me but they say a tons of things that weren’t true. I just want an unbiased opinion from people who don’t know the shit I said while I was mad or sad. There’s a lot that happened this week with him but it’s been long story already I can explain more in the comments

My 7 year old(almost 8) loves godzilla. We draw pictures, play old games have a shelf in the living room. Hell his first movie in a theater was KOTM with me :) fast forward a bit. Thanks to gigabash and a poster I had for years he loves him some destroyah. Now let me just say I have loved the big G since I was his age but only ever had the orange library book and a few vhs tapes. It was much harder to find stuff back in the day. I have been loving getting caught up with all things godzilla the last few years with this community and even started watching some of the old movies with my kid. Godzilla 2000 last week and godzilla vs Destroyah tonight. He was loving this movie and then got pretty quite at the end. I lift my arm and see my poor sensitive boys eyes completely red and gives me a big hug about how he can't believe what happened to his buddy G.......whoops. so the double whammy of godzilla Jr going down and the meltdown broke this poor kids heart. I had to explain that jr absorbed the energy and grew up to be the godzilla with the cool spikes we just watched last week (maybe? I'm grasping at straws trying to cheer him up) Crisis averted, we are now making our own godzilla comic book and making ice cream Sundays. So for any dads/moms on here, double check the synopsis before you expose your kids to their hero dying horribly haha. My bad

Hey y’all I have a question regarding Elemental HERO Solid Soldier specifically. I know he’s not really used in current version of HERO decks but I’ve been experimenting with him cause of the free special summon from hand when he is normal summoned, as well as his second ability, which is what I’m having trouble with.
For those of you that don’t know, here is his effect:
“When this card is Normal Summoned: You can Special Summon 1 Level 4 or lower "HERO" monster from your hand. If this card is sent from the Monster Zone to the GY by a Spell effect: You can target 1 "HERO" monster in your GY, except "Elemental HERO Solid Soldier"; Special Summon it in Defense Position. You can only use this effect of "Elemental HERO Solid Soldier" once per turn.”
I’ve been experimenting with him because if I have Shadow Mist in hand I can go directly into Dark Law cause Shadow Mist searches Mask Change when special summoned. Otherwise, I just use the special summon on Stratos or Vyon in hand because their abilities trigger whether they are normal or special summoned, and one of them would’ve been my normal summon anyway.
The problem occurs regarding Solid Soldier’s second effect, specifically in 3 circumstances:

1. Using Solid Soldier as material to summon Flame Wingman - Infernal Rage
   
2. Using Solid Soldier as material to summon Sunrise
   
3. Or using Solid Soldier as material to summon any fusion monster into a zone Wonder Driver points to
   

Quick rundown of those 3 cards for non-HERO players:

1. Flame Wingman - Infernal Rage searches “Favorite Contact” when special summoned.
   
2. Sunrise searches “Miracle Fusion” when special summoned.
   
3. Wonder Driver - Targets 1 "Polymerization" Spell, 1 "Fusion" Spell, or 1 "Change" Quick-Play Spell in your GY and lets you set it if a monster is special summoned to a zone it points too.
   

So here’s the problem: When Solid Soldier is sent to the GY by Spell Effect I can special summon an Elemental HERO from my GY, but when I special summon Stratos or Shadow Mist, I can’t activate their effects cause I “missed timing”. I’ve tried chaining them in all kind of different orders, but I might be missing something? What’s the proper way to chain them so I can use Stratos or Shadow Mist to search for Plasma or Masked Change?

Hey Reddit!
So I am an Engineer and currently my age is 27. I live in my village and work remotely in an European Company with 6 Figure salary per month. My home is on the outskirts of village and nearest neighbours are 100m away. Electricity is good, Internet is amazing, We grow our own food, We have buffaloes and cows so our dairy needs are also fulfilled within home itself. Priavte Submersible so 24x7 access to clean drinking water. Nearest town is 8km. Nearest city is 25 Km. The village is very well connected with highways and within 2 hours I can reach Delhi, Dehradun, Chandigarh and all the cities that fall in-between.
The only issue is that there are 2-3 brick making places within 2 kilometres that play very loud music all night. When I call police they stay quiet for some days and then the process repeats.
Loud music doesn't suit me at all. And it is a nuisance. I don't understand what pleasure people get by giving headache to others by playing so loud music.
So although I am very happy with my life and having lived in cities I came back to my home when my dad passed away. We have farming land and mom loves the home as it was Dad's dream.
I am looking forward to get some suggestions on finding a place (a city as I am unmarried and I am not sure girls these days would like to live in village no matter how amazing it is) where I can live peacefully considering the future of children and my wife to be.
Also some help with what to do with this loud music situation.
I am currently saving pretty much everything in salary as my expenses are next to none. (Electricity bill is hardly 500 rupees per month) And the house is very huge. And it's just me and my mom who lives here. I have 2 sisters (one is an Architect and one has just finished her MBBS from top government institution in Uttar Pradesh).
Just feeling so confused and unsure about my next steps.
I really love this place. Especially the clear night sky. I love to sit alone on roof with my telescope to watch the beautiful sky.
Any advice would be really helpful. I really wish dad would be here to help me in this scenario...

My spouse and I live with his friends until we get back on our feet. They are great people, fun to be around most of the time. I have no real issue with them. But it's like my husband has forgotten about me. As I write this, he is hanging out with his friends in their room while my kids and I are in the living room. He will dismiss the kids if the friends are watching a movie. He will go into their room and you can hear them laugh and laugh. (They aren't doing anything cheating wise I already tried to barge in on them and they were literally sitting watching a comedy movie.) He leaves with them to go out to eat and not bring back the kids and I food. On the rare chance he calls me and asks me if I want anything from the store or a restaurant, he gets them stuff too (his friends never bring back stuff for us when they get food for themselves.) I'm always an afterthought. Yesterday him and his friends came back after a day of hanging out with them ( leaving us behind as usual), he just gets his suit on and leaves with then to the pool, just like that no asking. He ended up coming back like half an hour later to grab stuff, saw me looking upset, and said "oh you can join if you want", then ran back out. I was a second thought. He also hurts my oldest daughters feelings and makes her feel guilty. She had been looking forward all day to playing a video game with me. Finally we sit down and start to play and my husband and his friends start laughing and make jokes and tell my daughter "oh I guess you don't want to go swimming with us then. Your loss!" They hadn't even mentioned swimming until literally 5 minutes after we started playing. She got upset because she loves swimming but she also didn't want to bail on me. So she sat there and cried until I said that it was ok and that she could go swimming with t hem. She told me she didn't want to hurt my feelings but I told her it was ok. So of course she grabbed her suit and ran after them. He makes food for them but not me. I was sick and I asked for a certain meal. He refused. His roommate doesn't want to stand up and asks for the same thing (mostly to help me get it) and he stands up and makes it. I have told him multiple times how I feel. I told him that I feel like I got demoted from wife to roommate. I told him that he cares more about their feelings than mine. If I am saying something and one of his friends cuts me off or talks over me, he will answer them and completely ignore me. I told them that it feels like I am an unwanted 4th wheel. He laughs or gets mad and walks away.
I am not an extrovert like they are but I still try and keep up with them. I do everything to hang out with them. I may be awkward but I do try. I have given myself anxiety attacks and internal meltdowns where I am shaking because it feels so uncomfortable but I do try. But after every day of feeling like this, I want to stop trying so much.
He tries to say that I have done the same when I am on a group/video chat with my phone, but i dont think it can even be compared. He is always included, if he needs to talk to me, I can mute or hang up. They like him for the most part. But I don't physically hang out with them. I don't ignore him or my kids and physically leave the house and ignore his texts. I don't buy them food and leave him with nothing.
I broke down yesterday, full on tears which I try and never do. I told him how I felt and he told me to stop having negative feelings or keep my feelings to myself and told me to stop. It's like I might as well keep my mouth shut. I guess I have to do everything alone now..

So I, m 18, am autistic and into men, because of this I had a not so great childhood friendship wise, I never had friends growing up, mainly because I hadn’t learned how to mask yet and everyone thought I was weird, eventually when I finally reached secondary(high school?) I finally started making friends the first year, I had a best friend who I was really close with, but considering now I was probably too much for her given I was trying to live out my dreams of having a best friend through her, but her parents wanted her to move schools, and from then on I had a lot of trouble with finding my ppl and having close friends. As well as this I had came out just before secondary bc I had a very loving and accepting family, but I wasn’t accepted in school at all by the boys in my year, and it took about four years for me to finally make some male friends despite my sexuality, but I still had to tone down my sexuality and almost go back in the closet and act straight, I mean it was fine, they say something like “he’s the only gay guy were okay with” and “you’re barely gay” and shit like that but I always took that as my personality was so great they could ignore their prejudice. Anyways I got to a point of trying to “buy” friends, by always buying everyone’s lunches and food and snacks, I spent about €3k on the ppl in my year because I thought it was an easy way to start friendships but later on I found out ppl were talking shit about me saying “he’s buying his friends”. This year I made really good friends, made a best friend then we stopped being friends but that’s not the point, up to this point my only close friends were women and I’m trying to be friends with men more to “heal my inner child” and try live out my childhood dreams of “being normal” but I never hang out with them or anything and as summer is here I see them playing football every Saturday and all I want is to play with them, but I’m never invited. The thing is I feel like I can’t ask bc that would be way too sad but I want to so bad and I just don’t know what to because I just want to have friends and hang out with them and play football.

Hey everyone,
Wanted to share this story to hopefully inspire some of you on this forum to pursue your passion musically.
I’m 36 years old and grew up glued to VH1 and MTV. Some of my fondest memories as a kid were staying up late on New Years Eve watching the top 100 songs of the year countdown.
After discovering The Beatles through my parents vinyl collection, I asked for their CD’s for my 8th birthday. For my 9th birthday, I asked for an electric guitar. I only had that guitar for a couple weeks before my sisters complained and I had to trade it in for an acoustic. It was way too big and after unsuccessfully trying to play it I put it back in its case where it remained for a decade.
About every 5 years I would take it out and attempt to learn. When I got into my Alice In Chains phase senior year of high school I went for lessons but nothing stuck. When Chris Cornell died in 2017 I ordered a new guitar that night. Again, I gave up when I couldn’t form the chords.
In 2021 I started running with a man named Robert “Raven” Kraft in my hometown, Miami Beach. Ravens story requires more than a few paragraphs, but to some it up, this man has run 8 miles on the beach every single day since January 1st 1975. The run started out of heartbreak after he found out a hit song he had written was stolen from him.
Ravens dream is to have a hit. Him and I would discuss music every run (to date I have run with him over 220 times). We would fantasize about me learning guitar and him providing lyrics, starting a real rock and roll band.
In the winter of 2021 my job was on strike so I had a lot of extra downtime. I decided once again to pick up the guitar. This time, inspired my Ravens dedication, I decided I would play 1 hour a day, everyday, for the entire year of 2022.
By June, I was comfortable playing in front of my girlfriend. By October, my best friend was coming over once a week and we started forming songs. By November, we felt the music was good enough and all we were missing was lyrics.
We invited Raven over, who penned his 1701st song in about 10 minutes, our first single, Digging Her Grave.
Another runner joined us from Haiti and plays bass, another runner from Serbia came over and introduced his native Tambura to the band. Finally, a man named Bryan we found on Facebook came over and decided he wanted to produce the album.
In 2023 we became Raven and the Dark Shadows. Our first live performance was a disaster, but we regrouped and practiced more. We found a studio and recorded 10 tracks. Through my connections and Raven’s fame we convinced Dave Abbruzzese (Pearl Jam), Ian Grushka (New Found Glory), Keli Gunnarson (Agent Fresco) and Dave Pastorious (tech 9) to guest on several tracks.
We released our album, An Unkindness, in November of 2023. To celebrate, we had a show at the Wolfsonian with over 150 people attending.
Jack White’s Third Man Pressing is currently producing Blue and Yellow vinyl editions of An Unkindness that should be ready by the summer.
Our song Dracula just reached 30,000 streams. In addition to our music, I produced 4 music videos for our band. A fifth animated one will be out next week. Total views on YouTube are north of 20,000.
At a recent Florida Panthers hockey game, our song, Dead End Road, was played after the Panthers scored a goal. It’s also been used at various Spring Training stadiums around Florida this spring. The Miami Marlins have it on their batting practice playlist. Our upcoming song “Feel Like a Fugitive” is on the Grand Theft Auto 6 soundtrack, and last year we played Stephen King’s 75th birthday bash.
We are currently preparing our second album. All the songs have demos, we just have to find the time to enter the studio and begin the process. We hope to have our second album released by October of 2024.
On January 1, 2025, Raven celebrates his 50th year of the streak. We are hoping for more exposure for the band when this happens.
I hope this inspires you all. In my mid 30s I definitely didn’t expect something like this to happen, but if you really commit to something, dreams can come true.
I’d love to hear your thoughts on the project and the sound. I’d also love to get recommendations on what we can do better, as we prepare for album number 2. Check us out on all the streaming platforms
Raven and the Dark Shadows

I'm a 42 year old male, I met my wife when I was 18, she was 23 and we began 'dating' when I was 21, working a job I hated in the same place she worked (casino workers, if you know, you know). We hooked up at a Xmas party and started a very awkward relationship. I say awkward because we had some weird trouble having sex for the first like 6 months... it's odd when I think back on it, should have been a huge red flag but she was draped in reg flags the entire time and it didn't seem matter to me. Aside from that, when we finally did have sex she got pregnant... she was not at all ready, neither was I really, but are you ever? At any rate, I didn't have too much of say in it, she decided on an abortion and I supported her. We stayed together after that horribly shitty experience, our relationship was never really all that good, lots of petty fighting/arguing and really the only reason it continued was because we worked opposite shifts and barely saw each other which made it easier to sorta get along.
Fast forward a couple years, we decide to buy a house because financially it made sense (this is almost 20 years ago so it was still affordable at that time), she made quite a bit of money, mostly in tips (so not on paper), but she probably made 2-3 times as much as I did so she never really struggled financially (in her life I don't think) while I came out of poverty and lived paycheck to paycheck up until a few years ago (the pandemic was surprisingly good for my career). This was never really an issue for me, I've lived in debt my whole life and I've always had the optimism that I would eventually work my way out of it, it's really the only bit of confidence I have in myself, my ability to learn and become relatively good at almost anything. This was always a point of contention, my wife hated that I had debt so when we bought the house together we were asked if we wanted a joint bank account as most couples combine their finances with cohabitation, my wife scoffed and adamantly told the banker there was no way she's mixing her finances with mine, it was relatively embarrassing at the time but I was also just 25 (she was 30) so I went along with whatever, it was going to be slightly cheaper for me to pay a mortgage than rent at the time so I was in and she'd cover bills. Things were never that great when living together, things must have been good enough for me to stay but I only look back with anger now so it's hard to see anything good but I'm sure there must have been some.
Fast forward another couple years and I feel extremely pressured (by her and her family mostly, they're old fashioned country type folks) to ask her to marry me... so I do. We stay engaged for another few years, I have no desire to waste a bunch on money on a wedding but she's the one with money so we have the big wedding she wanted. I'll admit it was a pretty great party, I don't remember anything good involving her on our wedding day but I have lots of good memories with family and friends. Afterwards we went on a 'romantic' honeymoon at an all-inclusive tropical resort and this is where I'll get into a bit of what I've dealt with for years... our resort was gorgeous, room was nice, just a room but nice... first thing my wife did was complain, about everything, the bed, the fridge, the lights, the balcony... nothing was good enough for her, this would become a common theme for the next decade plus. We also did not have sex on our honeymoon, she was far too busy complaining and being angry for us to ever get in the 'mood', this would be more foreshadowing of what's to come.
Now, this might seem like I'm building up to her becoming really bad after getting married but that's not really the case... she was just as bad before, it didn't really get worse, it just became more noticeable... or maybe I just tolerated things more in the beginning. The truth is when I look back, there were so many signs, she casually put me down and basically treated me like a child from day one, something I just accepted because looking back, I was a fucking child when we got together... she was not really, five years my senior, and she very much took advantage of that dynamic. Over the years she slowly went about convincing me that the things I wanted were silly/ridiculous and that I should want what she wanted (the nice lawn, the house, kids, etc., etc.) because everyone should. I never wanted these things.
I won't get into details here because I could write a novel on the insane shit I've dealt with over the last 20 years that could prove this, but I did do a lot of research in the last few years and have come to the conclusion that she could have BPD with narcissistic traits... I'm obviously not a doctor so it's definitely not a diagnosis or anything but she ticks almost every box from the many many things I've read on the subject, so if you have a moment and you don't know what BPD is I suggest googling it. It's pretty terrible but it might give you a better idea of my life.
At any rate, I dug myself deeper and deeper, thinking that every next move would finally make her happy and bring me some kind of peace, so we had a child about a year after we were married. This is where it gets really tricky... I sincerely regret having a child with this woman, especially because she is not at all "cut out to be a mother" (her words, not mine) but her mother had been sick on and off with cancer for a few years and her older sister couldn't have children so she felt obligated to give her mom a grandchild, bad reasons all around to have a child. That being said, I love my son more than anything in the world. As much as I wish we did not bring him into this horrible world, he's still the very best thing to happen to me and I will take care of him and love him for the rest of my life no matter what.
I should mention, since I've eluded to it, I've always had self-esteem issues, goes all the way back to having acne problems in high school but my wife has methodically picked away at my confidence and self-esteem over the years, cutting me down to this very day... to the point that I feel very much worthless. I know that I'm not, I know I deserve better but another fun thing about my wife is her desperate need for sympathy... So, not only does she make me feel horrible about myself, she also manages to make me feel horrible FOR her... she's overweight, and I'm sure has low self-esteem herself but she has decided to take it out on others rather than internalize and try to make things better for herself. She would rather blame others for any of her short comings, I guess it's easier to convince yourself you can't do anything about it when it's someone else fault.
I apologize, because I feel like I'm a bit all over the place but I guess I'm just trying to set the scene for where I'm at now and give just a small glimpse of the hell I've been living in and how I got here...
The first few years of my sons life were pretty great (comparatively at least), honestly it was probably the best we've ever gotten along, probably because most of my focus (and hers) was on our son. Unfortunately, her mother passed away just after my son's first birthday, this was obviously devastating for her, not unexpected but still devastating. We're lucky in Canada because she had a full year maternity leave and was able to spend time with her mom. She took it very hard, and decided to stay off work for an additional 4-6 months (can't remember exactly). This was all fine and understandable, I supported her through all of it, financially and emotionally. Once she went back to work, this is when things took a real nose dive... she has always been a very entitled person but upon going back to work (part time I should mention) she decided everything was horrible for her so she was going to make it horrible for everyone around her. This went on for around 4-5 years (again, the time frames get fuzzy because it's been so long), it was hell. I really just plowed through for our son, I made him my main focus and I took care of everything. Without going into it too much, I sort of shifted gears with my job and focused on finding something that worked better for raising a kid, I got onto a full time day shift (unheard in the casino world) and we worked opposite shifts. It was pretty good for child care (that we couldn't afford) as one of us was always home. This made her more contentious... again, going back to the entitled thing, she felt it wasn't 'fair' for me to work a good shift, she should be the one doing that. I eventually worked my way out of casinos and into a work from home job (before COVID) and it was great, she could work whatever shift she had to and I would always be around for our son.
Fast forward again, my son's in school, she's still super angry at life and making things hellish but I do my best to make it good for our son. It's difficult to keep a smile on with him while putting up with temper tantrums and fits from my wife... yes, we had a toddler and she was the one who threw fits. For an example, I can recall one specific Xmas where my son and I were playing video games which is his biggest interest, something she absolutely hates, and she made a few comments about how we should be doing family things together for Xmas (it was Xmas eve), so my son and I got off the computer and played a board game in the living room... nice and wholesome fun I thought. My wife throws a fit, full on screaming and slamming things around, I don't even remember what for exactly, it happens so often I can't keep track anymore. Her temper tantrum ends with her storming off and slamming the door to her room. I'll never forget looking at my son right after, him tearing up a bit and asking me "what is wrong mom?" and I just said "I'm really sorry buddy, I don't know" and we hugged... I cried a lot about that that night, one of many times I would have to apologize for her and the way she acts around him. This is just one small example and a terrible Xmas memory that I'll always have, hopefully my son won't. I think the worst part of these 'tantrums' is that she can almost always justify them, only to herself really but usually by blaming me or my son for "making her so upset" or worse, blaming some inanimate object for "not working how it should".
Fast forward to now(ish)... I've basically lived in my basement for the last 5 years, my office and bedroom are there, I stay down there to avoid my wife as much as possible but it feels like a prison cell now. I've retreated from life in general over the years too, I've always been a pretty anti-social introvert, I prefer quiet one on one conversations rather than group settings. Most of my 'friends' over the last 10-15 years revolved around my job (casinos take over your life people, for real) and my wife, I slowly lost any friends that had no connection to her. This was partially due to me retreating and the fact that my wife would insert herself into any friendship that was just mine to the point that I sort shut those people out to avoid them having to deal with her. Sadly, I don't have friends anymore (didn't have many to begin with but still), my son is essentially my only friend and because I work from home by myself I rarely talk to any other adults. My wife and I talk only when necessary... I cannot make eye contact with her anymore. This is probably needless to say but we haven't had sex in over 6 and a half years and I don't cheat, I don't have the confidence, so I've just accepted that I'm celibate now.
One other area of contention that I feel I should explain since I've mentioned it already, through the pandemic there was a serious power shift, financially speaking. She essentially lost her job and is now in a lower paying part time job (more realistic pay compared to her previous job), whereas I made a couple job changes that bumped me up well ahead of her. For comparison, the salaries essentially flipped, almost exactly... to where I make 2-3 times what she makes. This has become an area of contention because this was something she was able to lord over me for the majority of our relationship, she spent money freely while I paid the mortgage and barely ate for the first 5 years we lived in the house but now, for the first time in her life she has to pay attention to her finances and watch her spending... she does not like this so it's just another thing to constantly complain about and make passive aggressive comments about the things that 'dad' can afford to do/buy but doesn't (mainly because I'm paying the mortgage and all the bills now while finally paying down some debt).
Oh, I should probably also mention that it's a regular thing for her to insult me and put me down in front of our son and on flip side of that she also uses him to garner sympathy from me ("shouldn't daddy feel bad mommy has to go to work?") it's very frustrating because I just want to protect my kid but I guess she knows that.
Again, I'll apologize for how disjointed this all is... the more I type, the more I think about shit to type... like I mentioned, I could write a novel on this, mostly because I have no real outlet, just sit in my basement talking to myself about it all... or I guess stewing in it.
So, I guess I should try to finish off with what exactly the advice is that I'm seeking... I essentially hate my wife, the word I use often is 'despise' and over the years we've had brief conversations where I've told her that "I'm done and I'm just here for the kid" and unfortunately she took this as push to work on our marriage harder and 'fix' things, far too little, too late. She makes me feel like the worse person in the world and yet I just can't bring myself to say to her face that I want a divorce... I feel sorry for her, fuck so much so that I bought a house with her, married her, and had a fucking kid with her... I'm sure that's not the case, I must have loved her at one point but I just can't see it anymore. I don't know why I can't say it to her, why I can't just end this... I'm so worried about how she'll react, what she'll do to me, to my kid... how she'll try and turn him against me. I'm just paralyzed with the fear of what could/will happen if I tell her we're getting a divorce.
I've made plans over the last few years to move out, rent an apartment for me and my kid and just continue to pay her bills until we can sell the house and split the profit. I can't afford to do this, it would cause me to go back into debt but I do not care, it would be worth it to get away from her. I have set deadline after deadline... "I'll do it after Xmas" or "after her birthday" or "before my birthday" and these days come and go and I just can't do it... I don't know what the hell is wrong with me, it's like I just don't want to hurt her, even though I'm hurting her by not ending things and she definitely doesn't give a shit about hurting me... I just don't want to face her and deal with it and how she will make the aftermath hell.. and I worry so much about my son, it would have been so much better for him if I would have divorced her years ago, he's fucking 10 now... another fear is having to explain it to him but we're setting a horrible example. One of my wife's favourite ways to use our son against me, is planting it in his head that "family is all that matters", focusing specifically on our little family, and how we have to "stick together no matter what, that's what family does". It's such an underhanded way to prep him for hating me because I'm "breaking up our family".
I would appreciate any advice on how the hell I can get over my paralyzing fear and just end this marriage or maybe you wanna come over and end it for me? I'm at a point where I'd take that... as I mentioned I've not shared most of this with anyone... so feedback would be a really new thing for me.
Oh, and please feel free to call me chicken shit, and tell me I just need to grow a pair and get this done... it's the same thing I've been saying to myself for years, not helpful but I understand the sentiment.
Shit... I'm sorry, this turned into a novel. Thank you.