Hi, so basically I expose almost everything in the title and sorry in advance the story will be really long as I want to give as much context I can, also excuse me, if I make too many mistakes, I'm French and my English isn't that good. Also, I will begin by explaining how the medical studies works here, as it will be important for the context and some events. I will call the girl in question H, and her best friend S
The story begins in August 2022, I graduated from high school and I applied to the first year of med school, in France you have to do a year which known to be really difficult and after that you can really say that you are in medical school. As this year is known to be difficult, they are tutorial system who help students throughout the year, and even before they propose tutoring before the year during the holidays.
I went there and while I was waiting for the class to begin, I befriended S and H. We then proceed to be classmates, and talk to each other, via discord and then WhatsApp. H, S and I had really similar hobbies.
For a little bit more of context, high school was really rough for me, I loved another girl who even after rejecting me and friend zoning me, used my feelings to make me work as if I was her slave, I was in charge to explain lessons, doing homework etc... Also, some of whom I consider my friends betrayed me by also using me for money or work. This situation put me in depression and my academical prowess also declined, it was the only thing that was making me proud, so I tried to kill myself twice because of that. Needless to say, I wasn't in the best mental conditions to begin that stressful year.
The first half of the first semester was extremely harsh for me as for the majority of the time, I was alone with my unprocessed thoughts, and it was just horrific, I had no one to talk to and S and H were only comrades back then, we weren't real friends yet. So in order to do something for that situation, I tried to put more efforts in befriending H and S, for real this time, I went in the same classes with them, and we created a WhatsApp group and a discord server with 3 other friends to coordinate ourselves.
One day, as we were about to start cellular biology's class, I saw that H's computer wallpaper was Kaguya Sama Love is War, and I love that anime, so made the remark, and that day, for some reasons that are unknown to me, I fell in love with her. Maybe it was how she spoke about her hobbies, I really don't know. Since that day, I would try to be seated beside her, trying to talk to her, etc...
The second half of the first semester, I told the other members of our group that I was indeed in love with H, it wasn't a big surprise as they said that they noticed my behavioral changes around H. They told me that it was quite miraculous that H didn't notice yet, since then I tried to play it more discreet because even though, I was madly in love with her, I valued our friendship and I didn't want to destroy that.
Fast-forward to the second semester, where H and I were really good friends, and the me of that period even thought that she also had feelings for me because she was really tactical, she opened up more to me than the others. In my defense, she was typically the shy girl you would characterize in your mind, but with me, she was different. She was also kinda flirted with me and even S, (who knew everything from both side as she also became my confident during that time) called it.
Despite my efforts I failed that year, and this failure was devastating, as it's my dream to become doctor, I really thought to end it all, I thought that the disaster of High school was just a taste of this year, that I will never become doctor and my life was futile. Whenever I do some exercise I go to our discord server and I log in the voc, so I can sing while listening to my voice, and it gave me motivation. Sometimes H or S or both would come to discuss or alongside me, and if they came I just muted myself. But some days after the results, I went and as I tried to revise to maybe try to pass the retakes, I ask God for a sign (I'm really religious), and then H came to work her oral exam because she passed. The simple presence of H, gave me enough motivation and inner peace to cast away these thoughts.
I eventually failed the retakes for 0.02 points, but I was taken in the tutoring system, as I was really great in the humanities subjects and was made the chief of that and H was made the chief of the Chemistry subject. I was also good at chemistry, so I wanted to help her, and she accepted. So during the last two weeks of August 2023, I gave chemistry class with her, and we also pass time together in the local the tutors had. She was also kinda flirty and so was I, two other friends (not related to the group I talked about) saw the thing between us, and they ask if we were together, we were both embarrassed, but eventually we denied. When H went away to give a biology class, I had a discussion with them, and they told me to confess myself, because basically I was torturing myself by giving myself false hopes. So the First of September I confess to her, and she rejected me
From good friends we became strangers and went no contact through the entire month of September, but in October we become again friends, but she was kinda weird, some days we were the friends like before, some day I was a stranger and some day she won't say a word to me, but she will just stare at me, and honestly it kinda fucked me up, I was like, did I do something wrong ? Was I the bad guy ? And the first semester of my current undergrad studies took the blow and my mental health too. I directly asked her what was going in November, she assured me that she just needed time. I just told her that we shall at least stay professional (I just took a big part of her responsibilities of Chemistry chief, because she was too busy, and it would be problematic for the students). The pinnacle of absurdity came in January, we had a late Secret Santa, and because God hated me or something, I was the secret Santa, but she didn't show up the day we gave the gifts and after months of her ignoring me, I decided to block her on discord
Again an ellipse to April, another friend of mine sent a message via WhatsApp without me knowing with my phone to H, because I talked too much about her and I needed to talk to her. After she answered me, I told her that it wasn't me, but I sent a long message (even longer than this story) explaining that it wasn't cool what she did that ignoring me just fucked me up, that I don't want to pursue her or anything, that I refuse to die as sad poet (I love to write poetry, and she is a great muse) so I had to conclude this story even if she didn't answer. She said that she didn't know how to process all of this as it was new for her, and she told me that she just run away from her problems and she again apologized because she ignored me. She also said that we could go back to our friendship, and she agreed to see each other one day.
So here I am writing this gigantic post (really sorry about that) and I still love her, I can't take her out of my mind, but I know it's wrong, yet I feel it deep in my soul that I'm still in love with her. Thanks for reading me.

I remember when I was a little girl I would look in the mirror and just be so disappointed, in my mind, I was ugly, stupid, and poor, and it broke me completely. I would get bullied heavily in elementary school not only because I was poor but because I was chubby, while I ate lunch kids would stand by my desk and make pig sounds at me, oinking and calling me butterball. They told me I had meth head teeth. The only thing I liked about myself was my freckles but that brief feeling of liking myself soon disappeared when one boy told me it looked like I had shit splattered on my face.
I was eleven when I began to diet, whiten my teeth, and wear makeup. My teeth naturally straightened out on their own and I shed the weight with the help of heavy restriction, not without developing an obsession over how I looked. When I was twelve, boys began to notice me, I broke my nose and in doing so had to get it straightened out so I could breathe properly, no longer did I have my father's Roman nose which I so despised. I wanted desperately to be like the girls who ignored me and to be liked by the boys who bullied me for a little baby fat.
Because of this obsession, I didn't believe people when they told me I was pretty. Compliments always felt ingenuine and I naturally assumed boys were asking me out as a joke so I turned every single one down out of fear of humiliation. Deep inside me something seethed, I wasn't satisfied with the weight I had lost and begged and cried until my mom shared her Ozempic with me. I was thirteen.
Still, I could describe in detail the way I picked apart every flaw, the way I had autopsies on past conversations, searching for a new insecurity. One day I went into my dad's toolbox and stole his roll of duck tape and wrapped it around my waist. I was amazed by how beautiful I looked, my waist was the smallest of all the girls at my school and this felt like a victory. I tailored my favourite sundress on my mom's sewing machine to fit my brand-new waist and wore it to the first day back from summer break.
Everyone turned their heads to look at me, I thought that only happened in the movies until I strolled into English class with a waist the size of a tangerine. I shoved lies through my teeth about a gym and diet plan I had done over the summer to make myself look so small, my friends listened with eager ears and wide eyes trained on my midriff. The attention was more addictive than any substance I've put into my body. My friend had told me how the boys were talking about me and how they planned to ask me out, that's when I made up my mind.
It felt like a poison I happily drank, knowing all of the risks. Every Sunday after church I walked to the Dollar General by my house and bought five rolls of duct tape, two dollars each for one week of classes, ten dollars in total. The same woman was always there and she always smiled at me, asking what I did with all of the tape, my face would split into a sickly sweet smile as I told her a new falsehood every time.
My mother would comment on how she didn't want me to go anywhere by myself because I was too pretty to do so, this was like pouring gasoline onto my forest fire. In the morning when everyone was sleeping, I wrapped one roll of duct tape around my waist so no one could hear the sound; I took it off before my showers at night, water running as pain pushed tears from my eyes and bit the inside of my cheek until I could taste iron flood my gums. I was left with cuts and tears in my skin, flesh tender with torture, still, I mummified my body every morning with duct tape. Sometimes I would do my thighs if I wore leggings or skinny jeans so people would comment on my impressive thigh gap.
After a year of doing this, my midriff looked like a piece of raw steak beaten with a meat tenderizer until it was almost torn apart entirely. I wouldn't even let people touch me in fear that they could feel through my attempt at perfection. I started skipping church. Every weekend I shut myself inside so I could breathe at full capacity while I shut my blinds and stared at my ceiling, my mind went numb with the impending doom that I would suffocate myself with that dreadful silver tape when the bell rang. My whole life I had heard that beauty is pain and that's all I thought this was, I thought that models did similar things and it was just something I had to accept to be beautiful.
Essentially, I had turned into a zombie; my breathing was shallow, and I became pale, clammy, shaking, and nauseous. I couldn't stomach meals. Every night I would wake up around midnight and cough up my guts but I hadn't eaten any food so there was nothing left in me to vomit but bile and eventually blood. I stopped talking to people, I thought it better for them just to look at my pretty long lashes and my tiny little waist than to listen to me tell them I was fine through shaky breaths. My dad was so scared for me, he kept bringing food into my bedroom and would come to collect the uneaten dish when he dropped off the next. He couldn't look at me without crying. It was just his drowsy gaze piercing into my vacant skull while we both swallowed back what we wanted to say, the words dying in our throats, never to be heard.
Everything hurt all of the time, it didn't matter anymore whether I had the duct tape on or not. I almost preferred the feeling of it on so the stinging of the cuts and the soreness of my ribs was shielded by something. One day in PE the teacher asked me to sit out so I did. I tried my best to keep my vision straight and my head up while I watched the other kids play California kickball. It was okay until there was a suffocating feeling, like something was consuming everything in my body like tiny creatures with razor-sharp teeth were cutting their way up my organs. My body began to convulse as I coughed until I fell to my hands and knees, coughing up this invisible force in my throat. The game stopped abruptly and every pair of beady eyes turned to watch me writhe in pain on the dusty gym floor while I clawed at my chest and throat, eager to tear the skin off completely.
Mr. Duke jogged over to me, crouching down to my level and putting a hand on my back. With furrowed eyebrows, he asked what was happening and with nothing more than Ozempic running through my system, I screamed at him to get away from me. That final wave came like a million little hands of wind pushing at the back of my throat until I heaved up the very last of what was left in me. Hands flew over mouths while some gagged at the sickness once inside of me. On that floor was a pile of what looked to be red coffee grounds in a little puddle of cherry wine. I was as terrified as anyone else in the gym, I screamed between heavy sobs while scuttling away from the mess I had made.
I knew that this was the end of me, that I would be taken to a hospital and everyone would know what I had done. I didn't even need to go to the hospital for everyone to know what I had done. Once I had collected myself and began talking frantically in a hushed circle of my friends while we waited for the ambulance, one boy on the hockey team caught a glimpse of shimmering silver beneath my gym strip and snuck up behind me, pulling my shirt up and revealing the secret I carried like a cross I had to bear.
My back laden with strips of duct tape like it was armour was on display to my entire class, my shame shown to what I had perceived to be the entire world. The girls didn't find this so funny but the boys came up with the name of Tape-Face. I remember rushing to the locker room with my friends following close behind, I grabbed scissors from my pencil case and began to cut it off myself, ripping it away madly along with little segments of flesh. My friends watched in horror, they just stood like it was a game of wax museum and I was the security guard there to punish whichever moved first.
In the hospital, I couldn't face my parents, not even the doctor, I kept my eyes locked on my lap. I couldn't see their stares but I could certainly feel them digging into me like a frog on a dissection table. My mom was utterly speechless and my dad spoke only through voice cracks and subtle sobs while he brought me soggy sandwiches from the cafe on the first floor.
I took another week off school because I could predict the painfully true rumours and when I finally set foot back into the school, it was worse than I anticipated. I felt hideous, like a pig that had been chugging back lard in my t-shirt, sweatpants, and perfectly average body. My friends were hesitant to eat around me and tiptoed around the incident like it had never happened which almost felt worse than bringing it up. Others were not so kind. A group of kids, guys and girls all mixed together, the kind that stole cigarettes from their parents had waited until I came back to sneak away from class and cover my locker in duct tape. Over top of the tape they scribbled on a dictionary of names they would call me in the hallway "Tape-Face" "Fraud" "Botched" "Duct tape Barbie". One of the girls sat behind me in math and had cut little squares of duct tape to stick them into my hair, I called my mom in the principal's office and cried while the secretary had to cut it out of my hair.
My dad made the decision to pull me out of school, so I started homeschooling but that didn't stop the harassment. We lived close to the school and during lunch and after school kids would throw duct tape wallets and wads of tape onto the porch. My dad's final straw was when someone dropped off a Barbie whose waist and thighs had been wrapped in duct tape in our mailbox. He had contacted not only the school but the parents of the kids several times with no avail to the torment ending anytime soon. He moved us to a new town where I could go to class without anyone knowing the pain I subjected myself to for two years.
I'm in college now and I've never told anyone this. I've cut contact with everyone from that school. One of the bullies tried to reach out and apologize, blaming her behaviour on mental illness but that felt like she had shattered a plate and said sorry, thinking that it would put the plate back together. I told her I didn't forgive her and blocked her. A boy from the hockey team also messaged me, the one who flipped my shirt up. He said he just had a daughter he couldn't imagine her going through what I went through and that he's sorry for what he did. All I had to say was that I hope she doesn't have to go through what he put me through either.
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(Holy cow, chats do NOT work right, so Discord is best for talking.)
Tl;dr: basically be a hobbyist, musician, writer, artist, gamer, or geek (any or all, but definitely at least play halo or 40k with me). Must have a demented sense of humor. I cannot be scared away. Looks aren't super important to me if we get along, and I don't care at all if you're a femcel or something as long as you're not abrasive and hateful toward me because you can't work your own stuff out. I don't ghost people either; I will tell you outright if I don't like something about you, and I'd expect the same.
I enjoy writing and worldbuilding as a hobby, I love music, I love sunrises, I love my dog, and I watch too many movies and play too many video games. I can and will talk about music for hours on end. Infodumping about the things I like or the way I feel is my first language, and trivia is my second, so please double text and send me paragraphs. Small talk gives me hemorrhoids. I want to learn everything about you.
I like to laugh at nonsense, and when I'm not having a bad day, I act like a 10 year old. I have seriously bad fibromyalgia, so I mostly have bad days and am stuck home(wherever that currently is) probably playing video games or writing or painting or some hobbyist kind of stuff. I'm not into those bizarre competitive toxic sweat lodges like Valorant or League of Legends though. More like Halo or Destiny or Elden Ring. I play games for fun and for a good story.
My favorite movie is Twins, my favorite show is *probably* sons of anarchy(?), my favorite band is *probably* Van Halen or Pantera. My favorite poet is Robert Frost, favorite author is either Michael Crichton or David Drake. I'm a sucker for vast RPGs with massive lore and vague stories. D&D is a favored pastime when the planets align. It's a great outlet for my writing because I don't have the patience (or talent probably) to attempt a novel.
Anyway, don't get confused on that first bit; demented sense of humor does not mean edge lord or bully. If you are either, don't bother. Same goes for you "brutally honest" types. You're not interesting, you're a jerk. Being one-dimensional is not a personality. I want to partner up with someone, take interest in each other's hobbies, create together, game together, send absurd and stupid memes to each other, you get the idea. I'm here because I'm lonely, not because I'm bored. Don't bug me if you're just bored. I'm not looking to be entertainment for a day or two, I don't want to have to carry the conversation, but I don't want some nutcase that will have meltdowns and block me if I don't text them twice a day. I've been used and ghosted enough. It would also make my day if you could not be a predatory freak. Bottom text.

(Holy cow, chats do NOT work right. Send a message to talk to me.)
Tl;dr: basically be a hobbyist, musician, writer, artist, gamer, or geek (any or all, but definitely at least play halo or 40k with me). Must have a demented sense of humor. I cannot be scared away. Looks aren't super important to me if we get along, and I don't care at all if you're a femcel or something as long as you're not abrasive and hateful toward me because you can't work your own stuff out. I don't ghost people either; I will tell you outright if I don't like something about you, and I'd expect the same.
I enjoy writing and worldbuilding as a hobby, I love music, I love sunrises, I love my dog, and I watch too many movies and play too many video games. I can and will talk about music for hours on end. Infodumping about the things I like or the way I feel is my first language, and trivia is my second, so please double text and send me paragraphs. Small talk gives me hemorrhoids. I want to learn everything about you.
I like to laugh at nonsense, and when I'm not having a bad day, I act like a 10 year old. I have seriously bad fibromyalgia, so I mostly have bad days and am stuck home(wherever that currently is) probably playing video games or writing or painting or some hobbyist kind of stuff. I'm not into those bizarre competitive toxic sweat lodges like Valorant or League of Legends though. More like Halo or Destiny or Elden Ring. I play games for fun and for a good story.
My favorite movie is Twins, my favorite show is *probably* sons of anarchy(?), my favorite band is *probably* Van Halen or Pantera. My favorite poet is Robert Frost, favorite author is either Michael Crichton or David Drake. I'm a sucker for vast RPGs with massive lore and vague stories. D&D is a favored pastime when the planets align. It's a great outlet for my writing because I don't have the patience (or talent probably) to attempt a novel.
Anyway, don't get confused on that first bit; demented sense of humor does not mean edge lord or bully. If you are either, don't bother. Same goes for you "brutally honest" types. You're not interesting, you're a jerk. Being one-dimensional is not a personality. I want to partner up with someone, take interest in each other's hobbies, create together, game together, send absurd and stupid memes to each other, you get the idea. I'm here because I'm lonely, not because I'm bored. Don't bug me if you're just bored. I'm not looking to be entertainment for a day or two, I don't want to have to carry the conversation, but I don't want some nutcase that will have meltdowns and block me if I don't text them twice a day. I've been used and ghosted enough. It would also make my day if you could not be a predatory freak. Bottom text.

Well, well, well, it seems the galaxy has its fair share of cosmic whispers about X Pay and Flexa. While there's no direct confirmation that X Pay is using Flexa for retail payments, there are some interesting connections and hints floating around the universe.
First, let's consider the fact that Flexa has been making waves with its digital payments platform, supporting a multitude of digital currencies and boasting partnerships with some big names in retail, including Nordstrom, GameStop, and Lowe's. It's like they've got the whole galaxy of retail payments in their pocket.
Now, enter X Pay, the new kid on the block, ready to shake up the payments universe. While we don't have a definitive answer on whether X Pay is using Flexa for retail payments, it's worth noting that Flexa has been expanding its reach and is well-positioned to support a service like X Pay.
So, while we can't say for certain that X Pay and Flexa are cosmic BFFs just yet, the stars seem to be aligning in a way that suggests they could be a match made in payment heaven. In the meantime, we'll just have to wait for the official word from the cosmic overlords at X Pay and Flexa.

All I feel for my parents now is indifference. All I see in them is financial support.
I'm a 24-year-old man, happy on the face of it, with a good job, a great education and a great girlfriend. I thought everything was going well in my life. However, I realised that this wasn't the case. I had a breakthrough: I no longer feel anything for my parents. No love, no hate, no contempt, just nothing. As the title says, for me they're just a financial help.
I wasn't aware of this until a few months ago (well 6 months ago), but a discussion between friends made me realise it. It took me even longer to realise that I needed to talk about it, and today I've decided to talk about it on reddit, because it's weighing on me, and I don't know what to do.
To put it in context, today I'm with my girlfriend, quite a long way from my parents. I'm the eldest of 3 siblings. My parents divorced when I was 8-10 I think, and at first it was shared custody. As far as I remember, the divorce didn't affect me that much. It was a bit more complicated for the rest of my siblings, but nothing more. We alternated between my father and my mother on a regular basis, and everything was fine on the face of it.
However, my father is a violent person. He regularly lost his temper at the drop of a hat. He wasn't an alcoholic, he wasn't depressed, he was a normal person, but he sometimes lost his temper. And of course, we paid the price. I won't go into the details, but first it was my brother, who was almost sent to hospital, and then after an initial blow of pressure from my mother, he took it out on me. It was very violent. To tell you how angry he got over nothing, my beating was provoked by forgetting my notebook at school. That was it.
But apart from that, he was surprisingly a good father, who looked after us, organised activities... Even though I was still afraid of him. One day, I told him, and he said that was fine, that way I wouldn't do anything stupid.
Anyway, after his outburst against me, my mother took me to lodge a complaint against him. Then, of course, she got custody of the children. And that's when another ordeal began: life with my mother.
You'd think that with her everything would be fine, but it was horrible. I'd be tempted to say that with my mother it was worse, but that's probably because I spent longer with her (about ten years, before I left home).
So now you're probably wondering what it was like: well, she was violent in every way, both physically and psychologically. She's still a woman, so it wasn't as violent as with my father, but it was definitely more humiliating (pulling my hair, kicking me when I was on the floor, throwing herself at me to hit me, threatening me with a knife and saying she was going to kill me...). As with my father, she had violent outbursts (I strongly suspect she's bipolar, but she never wanted to admit it). On top of that, there was a lot of psychological violence, where I was belittled, humiliated, in short, the whole package. The worst was her mood swings, where one minute everything was fine, then the next minute I was being called names. I remember one memorable moment when I wanted to buy a $40 game, and I'd saved up half of it, and Mum told me she'd pay me half. So, all happy, we go to the shop, I get the game, I give her my $20 and she gives me her credit card so I can go and buy it. Only, I don't know what happened, but when I got to the checkout, she started calling me a thief, saying that I was ruining her, that I was a shit, that I was going to get us into trouble, that I was no better than my father, etc. I was so shocked that I couldn't believe it. I was so shocked that I didn't know what to do, and by the time I'd made up my mind, I'd bought the game... the next day was horrible. Or again: I was humiliated because I had put the pasta in the water before it boiled (my mother didn't want to cook, she was ‘lazy’). It may not sound like much, but it was a regular occurrence, mood swings and being insulted for no reason at all. Was she angry about a phone call? We took the blame. She spent all her time taking it out on us.
After a while, it started to take its toll, especially on me. I became unbearable with her. In fact, I was entering adolescence, the age when you start to rebel, and so I rebelled against her. But of course, she made me look like the big bad. One day, she even tried to make me look like a schizophrenic. Especially as, according to those close to her, she was very brave, because she was continuing with the divorce proceedings, continuing to ‘fight’ against our father, who had appealed against the sole custody decision. But she never gave up for several reasons: because she was simply lazy, because it would have been too complicated to abandon all the legal procedures, especially in relation to her family, and because this situation, which made her look like a poor, grieving mother, suited her anyway. In exchange, all she had to do was provide documents and go to the tribunal once a year on average. So, in terms of difficulty... Especially as everyone was supporting her, I was stuck. The only thing I can say in her defence is that she had a long depression, but I think that was mainly due to her poor mental health, which she never wanted to treat. But in my opinion, that in no way excuses her crises.
Fortunately, I was a surprisingly good student, so I never had to worry about getting into a good university. There were a few problems during my time at school, including of course bullying, mainly because my mother was so horrible that I shut myself off, had no friends... So obviously I became an easy target. But being away from all these family problems forced me to educate myself. I asserted myself, and the harassment stopped on its own. I even became friends with my former harassers.
Then the problems with my mother started to stop when I went away to boarding school. Then, after I graduated, I had to leave home to go to university, with a student loan. Even though my mother had other problematic behaviour with me, and with the rest of my siblings, I gradually distanced myself from her. I won't go into the details, but it had a lot to do with financial problems, where she demanded the money from my loan, or the money I was saving... And then recently I got back in touch with my father. It's complicated, because I haven't seen him or anyone else in his family for a long, long time. In fact, one point I haven't touched on is that my mother did everything she could to turn us against our father and his family, by telling us horrible things. It was typical parental alienation. So, on top of not having seen him for a long time, the fact that he beat me up, and his constant bouts of bloodshed (even if it's not physical), I'm finding it very hard to get back into a good relationship with him. Looking back, I know that a lot of the things my mother told me were false, or very exaggerated, but it's still complicated to sort out the truth from the falsehood.
Today, I can no longer call my father ‘Dad’ or my mother ‘Mum’. I find a way to avoid having to say these words. Or I force myself to use them when I need money, for example. I try to maintain a semblance of a relationship, but my parents realise that something's not right, especially my father. But for example, my mother has had serious health problems (several cancers...), and that hasn't affected me that much.
I've been able to take a lot of distance from everything my mother put us through. I realise what she put me through. But it's going to be a long time before I can tell her the 4 truths and move on. With my father, it's a bit easier, because there hasn't been as much damage. I think deep down there's still a bit of love left for them, but it's going to take a while for that to come back.
I hope I've made myself clear. Obviously, I haven't suffered nearly as much as some people, but it's weighing on me and I want to talk about it. I don't really know why I'm doing this, but I'm sure it's an outlet, because I can't really talk to anyone about this situation. I hope this will help a bit. Thanks in any case for reading all the way through.

I'm running Puppet Shows and Shadow Plays for the first time and, while I like the module and I think it's going to turn out fun, I've had some issues with parts of it that I wanted to share.
I'd like to preface this by saying that it's a cool scenario, the updated version is an improvement over the original, all of the problems are arguably a matter of opinion, and most of them can be easily fixed.
Lack of meaningful description
What's San Carlos like?
What does the tribal police station, or the medical facility, or the ranch look like?
I don't want block text to read, I just want a few phrases and enough detail for me to sketch the place for the players. (Floor plans would be better, but hey)
Another one where the fix is for me to GM prep, but I paid for a module so I wouldn't have to do too much of that.
This great collection of additional resources (handouts, descriptions of the reservation and key locations) shared by u/kinnygraham in this comment on another thread has been vital for helping me imagine the town.
Rolling for clues
Every other DG RPG module I've read has had most clues based on having 40/50/60 in a skill, but in PSSP (even the updated version) you still need to roll for everything for some reason. I ended up giving my players a lot of clues but they did the right stuff with the right skills and only made them roll when there were bonus clues that would make them look cool.
It's not a major gripe, but it would have been nice to see the updated module make use of the new tech.
Weird Railroady Moments
My least favourite moment in an RPG product is when the author tells you something like "players / a particular NPC, often the antagonist, can't die right here" which sucks IMO, and there's at least one in Puppet Shows. The way I see it, the PCs are largely stripped of power an autonomy by the premise of the game, so taking more power away with set plot-pieces feels cruel and off-genre. That's just me, though.
Not hard to fix, but a real pet peave of mine. I'd be interested to hear about how everyone else feels about this.
Why would I get to the chopper?
This section verges on a spoiler but honestly I wouldn't care if any my players had read this before we played
There's also a moment when the module lays out what happens if the players ask to use the State Police helicopters. I have no idea why any FBI agent whose been asked to assist the state police would push to use their equipment or barge their way into their side of the operation. I had the major mention he wouldn't mind having them along, but really I should have just made the helicopters an FBI asset at their disposal and mentioned that during the FBI briefing, but actually having them go up in a chopper to see a car and come back down is just not that fun.
Not a major issue, because the State Police can share info with the agents, but still it creates a situation where the evidence and briefing at the opening of the module only really gives one lead (the ranch) to go off and chase.

I met a girl a really long time ago on a mobile game. We started talking and ended up deciding we liked each other when we were really young. This was about 6-7 years ago at this point. Since we did not live close together and the relationship was long distance this made things hard. We both made an effort to meet each other and after 6 months of dating I was able to get a trip to come meet her family and hang out with her for a week. About 6 months after that she came to my state to meet me and my family. I thought things were going great, I was very happy, she made me feel special, made me feel like I had a purpose. As years went on and I got into college I started to think about the future and how we will end up moving from visiting each other to moving in as a more permanent thing. The entire time I have been with her, I have just always wanted to be happy by her side.
She has said things that have hurt me in the past, such as even telling me I should kill myself during arguments. She once told me I need to stop talking to all my friends because they made her feel insecure. All of these I know are not okay, but I continued to love her fully anyways. Recently, she started to tell me that she only cares about herself and does not care about me. She told me she does not see a future with me and stays with me because she knows she can't find anyone better than me. She tells me she can't love me but does not know why. This breaks my heart more than anything. About a week or two ago she told me she had been flirting with one of my friends and that he made her feel something that I could not. I broke down and had no idea what to do. This caused us to get into a huge fight and stop talking for a bit. Later on, she called me on the one place I did not block her on (I didn't block her because I wanted to make sure if she was ever in a really rough spot that I could be there) she told me that she regrets what she did and felt terrible every second she talked/played with the friend. She told me that everything she does just reminds her of me.
She tells me that she hates me because I have everything she does not. She says I have tons of friends who care about me while she has nobody. She says she is always the second option. She says she wants to be able to love me but does not know how anymore. It has been almost 7 years and suddenly the person I love more than anything is being cold to me, telling me I mean nothing to them, and saying they're only with me because of what I do for them. Even now, I still just want her to be happy. I still just want to move past everything and work towards a future with this girl. It really sucks to feel this way. I wake up every day knowing that things could end any moment. I recently bought another plane ticket to go stay with her for awhile. I think the main purpose of this trip is to help me gain closure and at least leave her with a proper goodbye. That goodbye is for me, not for her. The amount of time and dedication I put into her is not normal.
I spend more than 14 hours every day trying to do things that she enjoys and talking to her and keeping everything lively between our mutual friend group. I exhaust myself to try and make her happy. What sucks is anytime I bring up my happiness she just says "I am selfish I only care about myself". I know she has hurt me, but the way she is feeling just does not seem right. I feel like something is really wrong. She cannot even tell me why she feels the way she does. She tells me she is confused with her feelings as well. Life really sucks when you feel like this. She brought me the best moments of the short life I have lived up to now, but also caused the most pain I have ever felt in my life. More pain than my entire family dying. Feeling so unwanted, so unloved, so unimportant to the one person who you care about more than anything, trust being broken and betrayed by that person, still trying for that person, and them not caring at all about anything you try or do. It is the most crushing feeling in the world. I hope nobody ever has to feel what I am going through currently, I hope everyone out there can find the happiness they want and deserve. Thank you to anyone who read my thoughts to the end. I appreciate every one of you.
TL;DR My girlfriend of almost 7 years gives me false hope of wanting to fix things while saying she hates me, and is selfish and only cares about herself and not my wellbeing, meanwhile I try everything I can to make things work.

I think all my problems started somwhere in 2019, when I changed schools for the thousandth time.
During the next change, I got sick and they sent me to the hospital for a week. And idk I think that was the moment that changed everything. It was in 2019. The experience in the hospital was terrible, but more importantly, when I left I felt... idk gentle? Unreal? Everything seemed strange. I was leaving home to go to school. Traveling by bus. Crossing to the other side. Got on the second bus. Came home, go to bed and cried. Day by day.
On the one hand, I started reading more and felt "creative", on the other hand, reality terrified me. Then, thanks to home school, I was able to ignore the symptoms. But over time they began to disturb my interests. I stop reading. In fact, I had a strong feeling that if I touched the book I would destroy it somehow. And if I damage one, the whole collection will collapse.
Then I made friends with someone and that also ended badly, because my paranoia told me more and more strange things. I removed myself from the Internet and spent 2023 tightly locked at home.
Now I have this feeling of unreality again. Sometimes I feel like I'm looking at something, I see words, I understand them, but... at the same time I don't? As if there was a stain in the very center blocking my full view?
I have also been hearing the heartbeat continuously since April. I mean day in and day out. It is in the head, in the hands, in the legs. Thanks to it, my head is a perpetual migraine. My arms and legs are weak. The belly is heavy, as if all the organs had enlarged within a month. I'm shaking and I keep expecting to fall.
All days are the same: I wake up, it's even bearable, I eat, I browse something, I take a bath and... It all begins. The pain sends me straight to bed. And so I sit in it. I can't read books again - comics are the best my brain can handle.
Sometimes I try to walk because I feel a little less tired outside the house, but lately it's been difficult too. My legs feel so heavy, as if I fighting gravity. So. Basically, I'm just waiting for the moment to take a sleeping pill and have a moment of peace.
Last week I was taken to hospital because I was vomiting. They took me in this one because I fainted in the bus. They did the same tests again and said everything was fine and I could go home.
In addition, I have visited many other doctors, but each of them focuses on one small thing and completely ignores the whole thing. Always just "take bibloc", then "drink electrolytes", and then "yes, you had side effects last time, but here's hydroxyzine again”. (And yesterday doctor literally said "yes, this medicine for your blood pressure probably won't help you, but that's okay. I'll give it to you anyway. If you faint again, please come back for more diagnostics :)")
I think everyone is tired of me. Doctors look on and become more and more confused. My mother went from "yes, we need to find a psychiatrist and help you" to "well, you have a small hump on the back of your neck sooo... maybe it's his fault?".
I don't have patience anymore either. I just want screaming. I used to have a bearable life. Why can't I have it now? Will it always be like this?
I feel pathetic.
(Also sorry if anything sounds weird. English is not my first language and I recently took a sleeping pill, so I probably have messed something up. But I really had to vent somewhere :x)

So much of the advice given to men my age is go to the gym, focus on your career, etc. I've been working out most of my life at this point, have a pretty good physique, can deadlift 3x my bodyweight. Even then, it's been months at this point where I've felt a genuine motivation to go the gym. I just go because it's routine at this point. I have a well paying job in the field I've always wanted to be in, recently moved away from home to a new city (and my first time living in a city) for a good bump in pay.
From an outsiders perspective I'm sure it feels like I have it all but I feel completely hollow on the inside and that my life feels empty. I was always a shy kid but at some point I just developed seemingly insurmountable self esteem issues that ruin my ability to find happiness. I was self conscious about my looks basically all throughout my life.. I don't even feel particularly bad about my appearance at this point, I know I'm not ugly, but it's not like 23 years of believing so didn't have an effect on my social skills and self esteem.
I don't think I have social anxiety, atleast not severe to the point that it hinders my ability to work and function day to day, I'm also decent enough at holding conversations if someone starts it.. but I legit don't think I've ever in my life just walked up to a stranger and made conversation. I have great friendships back home, but all of my close friends are friendships that started at child hood or high school.. I don't think I've made a new genuine friend since. Not a single friendship made in 4 years of college.
Obviously this makes dating a nightmare. My one relationship, that lasted over 4 years, was more or less the result of a girl whose family was friends of mine who kept pursuing me.. and I stayed in that relationship much longer than I should have because I didnt want to be alone. I've been single 3.5 years now and I cant even pretend at this point that I don't want a relationship. I've had a handful of dates through OLD but nothing long term, and OLD is a shit experience anyways.. but meeting someone doesn't feel possible else wise right now.
Logically, I know I just need to forget dating for the moment and focus on solving out whatever mental issues I have, because they're not just gonna go away, they didn't when I was in a relationship before. But at the same time, I genuinely miss having a partner, someone I could share my day to day life with, the feeling of being desirable and wanted by another person, and I don't know how much longer I can take being single.
And really, dating is the source of my unhappiness. I have great friends and while I moved away a month ago and need to make new friend so that physical human interaction is there, I still felt something missing back home, which was the primary motivator of moving in the first place
I have zero motivation to do anything I find enjoyable like reading a new book, listening to new music, playing the bass. Every couple of months ill get the urge to game and that atleast distracts my mind for a few weeks. Every weekend I sit around on my phone just stewing away in my thoughts. Even now as I type this, I drove 5 hours to visit home last night, and all I've done is sit on the couch with the family dog lmao.
Sorry for the long rant but yeah. As much as I wished becoming objectively swole and being financially successfull gave me some genuine meaning to life, I cant say it is right now lmao

I'm going to try my best to make this story concise. But I'm looking for an unbiased opinion on my relationship/breakup since I have no one else to vent to. My friend group is generally the type of guys who would disregard any sort of feeling ("just get over it, dude") and I don't even want to bring my family into it. So here goes:
About 8 months ago I began a relationship with a girl I met online. We hit it off immediately on our first date, it was a feeling/spark I've never had before. We quickly went on dozens of unique dates - a baseball game, farmers markets, arcades, nice dinners, movie nights at my house, gym dates. Everything was going amazing - our personalities blended perfectly, we had zero fights, arguments, or disagreements. Intimacy and passion were there. It felt too good to be true. After a few months she was saying things like how lucky she was to have met me and how much of a gentleman/kind person I was. She told me about her past experiences with exes that mistreated her, cheated on her, etc and the baggage that came along with it. So naturally I went above & beyond to make her feel loved, validated, worthy. Shortly into the new year, she texts me out of the blue that my sometimes-slow text responses (I travel for work & she obviously knew that) triggered her & she needs to take time away. We met in person, she broke it off & told me she needs time to heal from her insecurities. I was devasted but understanding. I told her I loved her and will be open to her again when she is ready. In the meantime she blocked me & fully deleted her Instagram, even though I respected her space.
In March she reached out again. We quickly picked up where we left off and she told me about all the healing & personal improvement she'd done in the time apart. After a few friendly but intimate meet-ups I spilled my heart out to her & told her my intent of trying a relationship again but this time, stronger. I would do my absolute best to communicate with her frequently and help ease any fears/insecurities she had. She seemed thrilled with my newfound openness, we had talks about fate/God bringing us together again & she said "absolutely yes, but all I ask is that we take things slow so I don't get triggered again." The past 7-8 weeks were amazing, our relationship seemed stronger than before. We were texting frequently, FaceTiming almost daily, and seeing each other 2-3 times per week when our schedules aligned. We were talking about the future again (our family goals, etc.) & all of the dates we had lined up. She had me sign up at her local gym so we could be consistent workout partners. We went out with her best friend so she could introduce us. We planned double dates with our coworkers. A few Fridays ago, we both took off work & spent the entire day together, from 7am to midnight. I gifted her baseball attire as a callback to the first baseball game I took her to, and she was so excited. It was amazing - I saw my future in front of me and I had zero concerns. It felt like one of the greatest days of my life.
The next day, she was "out with friends" but would text me as soon as she was home so we could FaceTime. Instead, I got several calls from a random number. When I finally answered, it was another man telling me that he was her boyfriend. I hung up & broke down. I called her number that night and the morning after and got nothing. She finally called me at night and told me what I can only assume are lies about their relationship. That they were never in a relationship and she never cheated on me when we were together, but they were seeing each other intermittently. She also said she feels that I deserve someone better than her. Somehow I kept my composure but I was so disgusted at how someone could spend the entire day prior with you, tell you how much they love you, and be a liar the whole time without remorse.
The next day I wrote a letter telling her how hurtful it was, but that in spite of everything I loved her & forgive her and hoped we could reconnect after things settled down, and dropped it off at her work. A week later, she texted me that it was "inappropriate to visit her work during what was implied to be no-contact and make her feel vulnerable. She's trying with her "ex" & doesn't want to involve me any more than she has." She immediately blocked me afterwards (despite me not saying anything to her) & I have no way of contacting her again now that her social media is gone. It's been weeks and I'm still just as confused and devastated. I'm blaming myself for things out of my control and left wondering what I could have done differently. My heart wants her back but at the same time my brain knows there's nothing I can do, nor should do to prove myself further. All I'm left with are amazing memories, an abrupt end, and a membership to her gym that I pretty much can't use anymore.
If you made it this far, thank you for listening. It really did help just to get things off my chest.

why is it so hard to make friends?
m19 here from (still in) maryland, and lately i've realized how lonely I am, lmao. I have my hobbies and stuff but yet, I'm so lonely, i have one friend, who's been my friend since middle school, he's my bro. but i realized i legit have no friends..or a friend like me, here's some points I've seen/made 👇🏾
° fake people: there's too many fake people in the world today, worried about “worldly” bull crap or something stupid, wanting to be in drama, coming to you, then completely ignoring you or ghosting, I find it fake, sorta bummy and immature. people don't know the definition of a “friendship” or a “very close bond” like i'm gonna stick beside you no matter what, people don't seem to get that, then play victim when you call them out. people will use you, talk poorly of you, do all things wrong, i can't stand that. which is why i enjoy being more of a loner..i hate fake friends and i am not no fake friend, im sorta clingy
° people have weird interests/and are boring: this is, i guess controversial, tough one? but people have their interests but i've met some people (school/outside) that's into some weird crap, pronouns for one, i dislike folk whose interests are gender crap, not much into anime honestly, i do love harry potter though. i find a lot of people boring and never knowing how to have a conversation, never wanna be like “come over and chill, or let's watch a horror film” or anything like that, i've always wanted a male friend to explore stuff with, let's ride our skateboards around and learn tricks/let's ride through the night, i'd love to explore abandoned places honestly, guess i'm more of an that “emo boy that's always up to something”. i also love a childish person, stupid jokes/pranks are always the best, where's the trustworthy people who'd wanna skate all night and go to a pizza joint and chill at each other places all night watching horror films, (and i love horror. anyone seen the movie terrifer? the conjuring? house of 1000 corpses? lords of salem!!) talking about whatever, even deep conversations all night with pizza. play video games with me if you'd want, im a console player, i enjoy my xbox, we can facetime and play stupid stuff or id come to you and chill. who still plays minecraft lmao, im a huge lover of the grunge, skateboard theme, nighttime themed things, yeah i'm a slytherin 🐍. i can't find people like that. also, any other song writers out there? i love making my own music, rock is dope but it depends on the rock..
° bad places and everyone is untrustworthy/ghetto: i grew up in the hood, not to be prideful but it's sorta easy to see through people and know when stupid crap is going down. it's hard finding friends like you in the area you live in. this goes along with fake friends cause people are fake, users, and ghetto af. like what the hell? i mean like dude, if I'm your friend, i mean that, im not gonna use you for money or betray you for some chick or whoever. people don't seem to get that. i also find it stupid how guys, other males are such simps for women and will completely throw you under the bus for a woman, women do the same with men, it's fake af.
° i hate people/large crowds/groups: this i feel like a lot of people can relate to. i absolutely hate people and not on a “woke" level, but on a “people do too much” level, yes people do too much and they always deny that they're doing too much. i hate big groups, because they always fall, which is a heartbreaker dude..it can be 4 of us, then 3, then 2, then none. i've always prefered a group of 3 or just one guy and myself. this gonna sound weird but i've always wanted a male friend, a guys guy really. i don't really go to skate parks, cause it's usually to many people, doing the most per usual, like there's one by the baltimore harbor, i'd rather go at night due to the amount of people there during the day. it sounds cheesy but i hate people. i really do.
° no one has my interest: this is the same as people having weird interests, but this is true. no one has the same interest as me, and i hear that people with the same interest are the ones that argue a lot, fall apart quickly, or just can't get along, i don't know how true that is entirely. but that's where the communication falls in, talk to me man. if there's an issue, open your mouth! don't be a pussy and keep it to yourself and talk poorly of me and hate me. that's not right, it's wack and lame af. people who do that really need to get themselves in check. like again, i love horror, i love the hell out of horror, its all I watch, anyone here watch mr.nightmare ? on youtube, also people enjoy stupid stuff and stay indoors to much. i get it, being in your space in your smelly room is cool and all, it's america, we hate it here, but personally i think there so much more, like I said I love night time stuff, abandoned houses/churches/stores, etc, i'm always down for it all, guess it's my emo horror obsession haha. anyone want to work and save up money together? where's the people like that who wouldn't steal your money, and dip off, like we save and use it for stuff like pizza, new skateboards, deep woods campfires and outings man. spending the night at each other's place, sneaking into spots! and one thing, building each other up, im the type to help you out, if you feel bad or something, let me know and id help, I know depression runs through a lot of people, and if I had that friend that in looking for in gonna be there, no matter what. that's just the kinda person I am, not satanic lol, just..emo? or grunge? i don't know..
° no one is loyal/have bad families/too sensitive: this is a tough one but im just gonna say it. people aways hated that I have no filter, not that I have a nasty mouth and I always have to put my opinion in stuff, i'm more so very quiet. i also have a dark sense of humor, im black, so i definitely do say racial jokes, not as a insult, but a little humor or whatever. dark humor is always the best. but i have no filter, i'm gonna tell you the truth of what it is, what I enjoy, what I hate, just point blank period, and people hate that, i'm nor gonna sugar coat anything! a true friendship circles and stays strong through truth and open words, if you can't handle that, something is honestly wrong with you fr. families, now. i won't judge you for having a bad home, but what i mean is, completely putting all that, that's not your responsibility in the way. i did that once, as an older sibling, i believe younger siblings aren't no one's responsibility, i once canceled plans to “watch and take care” of siblings when their old enough to watch themselves, which i regret. if you're having a bad time, you always got me there. which falls into loyal, people aren't loyal. which is basically people are fake. im a longterm friendship kinda dude. you're my homie, just like that.
° finally, judging and redflags: i don't judge at all, ask ill tell, but I don't judge at all. I don't see a point? none of us is perfect, so I don't see a point, saying what you feel is different than judging fr. same with redflags, guess mines would be im clingy 😂 i love clingy people as well, im not sure. but red flags falls into the same with, people do too much, people are fake, and users. and it amazes me completely how someone will use you, for however long, then completely ditch you in the end, or when you're caught, times get rough, or something like that. I really really hate that and that's what destroys friendships. don't really care if someone is clingy.
guess that's all, i think friendships in 2018-2024 are absolutely awful, and I hate that so much. there's no one else around really, like what the hell 😂 and still today, no friends. i be hoping i can find someone like me, like if you'll be there forever man mean that and stand on it. i think the future of friendships will die out honestly. no one can trust each other, no one can spend nights no more, go out, or anything..im not into politics, I don't care about presidents or anything, nor money, I need it, I know, which is why I'm still job searching, I just think there's more to a friendship besides money, arguing, drama, stupid stuff. that's it from me i guess 😂 just a lil rant since I joined this group. show me your skateboard, songs and favorite bands! mines is behemoth and a few grunge ones.. hopefully id find a friend ..

First lf all, hello potatoes! This is my first ever post on anything, so bear with me!
I (21f), have an aunt who I've finally decided to go no contact with after years of her bs. For the sake of this post, let's call her EA. EA has always been a narcissist, though none of us really did anything about it for a while.
For instance, when I was young, about 12 or 13, she decided it would be a good idea to take me and my three siblings to a youth group, even though we never wanted to. She pretty much dragged us over there and would act like she was doing something good for us so we could pay her back later. We never wanted to go, because of some issues we had with the last religious group we went to, and it became painful for us to deal with.
Anyway, we ended up being late to an event one night, and the entire 30 minute drive down, she had been complaining about how late we were. Once we had gotten to the building, she went inside and talked to the person in charge about it. My siblings and I had come in and she locked eyes with me.
"Thanks a lot, kids."
That's all she had to say to us, then proceeded to complain to the person in charge over the whole ordeal. Being as young as I was and as sensitive as I was at the time, I held on to that feeling. Eventually, we stopped going, again because it was hard for us and EA made it unbearable.
Several years went by, and not long after I had graduated, she had come back into my life, in a much more violent way than before. I had moved out for school and work, so I wasn't physically there, but I heard about it after the fact. It turns out, while my parents and EA had gone to an appointment they both had in the nearest city (3+ hour drive), she had attacked my mother. Not verbally, but physically. She had pounced on her and left scratches and bruises. The cause of the fight? Some water on her butt. She threw a whole fit and physically attacked my mother, over a little bit of water on her butt.
Let me tell you, I was fuming when I had heard about it. She even went so far as to insult us when she attacked my mother, and I'll never forget it.
"You're raising your kids to be just like you!"
She made it sound like a bad thing for us to turn out like my mother. Now, my mother is a kind woman with a soft heart and a soft spot for dogs and cats. She loves crystals and plants, and she loves cloudy days and being by the ocean. She accepts all of us for who we are, and makes inappropriate jokes for us to laugh at. To hear EA insult my mother made me angry, but she had told me not to put any energy into it.
EA began to get worse afterwards. I was working a job that was slowly killing me, and whenever she'd visit, she had that sickly sweet 'I'm tolerating you enough to talk to you' look on her face and tone in her voice. When I was moved to nights, I was hoping to never deal with her again. But then, my grandmother fell down.
I heard about it during one of my shifts, and when I had gotten off, I couldn't sleep. I was afraid something would happen to her if I was asleep, so I stayed awake until my bf (21m) woke up. I told him the situation and we had a talk about it, and we both agreed that it would be best if I moved back to take care of her. So, on my first day off, I packed all my stuff and left. I texted my boss, who I wasn't on good terms with, and told her the situation. I pretty much handed in my two week notice, but only gave her two days.
So, I came home and moved in with my grandma so I could take care of her. Cooking, cleaning, laundry, dishes, anything and everything she needed done, I would do it. I was lucky enough to be able to bring my dog, a chihuahua dashund pug mix, to live with me. Spud made things a bit easier for me, considering everything that I had given up and what was going on. It felt like things were gonna get better.
Until my grandmother had to go to the hospital. I wish I was kidding, but I'm not. She couldn't get out of bed one morning, and since I didn't know what to do, I panicked and called my father. He came and checked on her, gave her an oxygen treatment, and when things didn't improve, he called EA so they could go to the hospital. I was freaking out and pacing around on the balcony, trying to calm down as they carried her to the car and drove to the hospital two towns over. She got better, so that helped, but it scared me so badly I couldn't sleep for a while. We were given an oxygen machine and told to have her on it as often as possible. That first night was terrible. I hadn't slept at all that night, or for the next few nights, because I was afraid of what would happen if I did.
To help with this, my father bought a baby monitor so I could make sure she was okay, and after a few days, I was feeling much better. EA began showing up, when she hadn't come at all before the hospital visit. When she did, the first thing she did was complain.
My little sis (11f), was helping me clean, and we had finished doing what my grandmother needed us to do when EA had come in. The first thing she said to us was that we should be cleaning, and began cleaning the stuff we didn't get to. She then started to complain about how we weren't doing these tasks that my grandmother never asked us to do. My sister and I just looked at each other with confusion. I could tell she was feeling bad, but it wasn't her job to do in the first place. EA took her cleaning to my grandmother's bedroom, and she stayed in there for a long time.
I began to get worried, so I ended up heading to my room downstairs to check the monitor, only to find EA had covered it. I sat, confused by what she had done. It's not like I had the monitor there to snoop around, it was only there to make sure my grandmother was okay. I shrugged it off and uncovered it before I went to bed that night. After a few days, I had decided to make the trip to see my bf. It was almost a 2 hour drive, so I wanted to leave early. I asked my little brother (18), to watch over everything while I was gone for a few days. He agreed for the price of some dark chocolate for his own mochas in the morning. I agreed, and made sure he knew what medications my grandparents had to take and when, where the blood pressure cuff was and how to use it, and the device to check my grandmother's oxygen. After that, I packed the clothes I'd need for four days, and left.
Things were going smoothly for a while. I was laughing and relaxing with my bf, watching videos he had saved to show me, and going on dates, talking and catching up. On the third day, I got a text from my brother saying that he was angry. I asked why, and he explained everything.
He said EA had showed up, and was trying to make me and my sister sound like thieves. She claimed we had gotten into some drinks meant for my uncle, who's diabetic and also lives with my grandmother. I told him I don't drink that particular brand anymore, and my sister only ever got into the milk and some cold water. I showed my bf the messages, and we both had a good laugh over it. He knew that I don't drink that particular brand, and that I enjoy a different brand altogether, so we thought it was just ridiculous.
It continued like this for a while. EA would make little comments and talk with my grandmother about certain topics, trying to make me and my sister sound like we were against her. All the while, I was doing my usual job of cooking and cleaning for her and making sure she was okay. I was pretty much untouchable in her eyes.
My mother had come by to visit for a while and make sure everything was okay one day. We talked, she helped me cook, and we just had a good time, until EA popped in unannounced. My grandmother, wanting them to fix their relationship as sisters, stopped my mother from leaving the kitchen and told them to hug. I was watching the whole thing and heard EA say something thst just made me want to yell.
"Are you gonna attack me again?"
She made herself sound like the victim, and made it seem like my mother had attacked her. They hugged, and things proceeded to get worse from there. I refused to talk to EA when she came by, and I'd watch when she started her random cleaning. If she went into my grandmother's bedroom, I'd go downstairs, watch the monitor and try to make sure she wasn't stealing anything. She coveted the camera again and again, which slowly drove me crazy. I regret not talking to her about it.
She did it again when I was on another trip to see my bf, and this time, my brother called her out on it. He told her to stop covering the camera, that it was only there to make sure my grandmother was okay at night, nothing more. According to him, EA began yelling at him and puffing her chest out over the whole thing, while my brother acted more mature and waited for her to finish. He then asked if she was done, to which she huffed. He was getting pretty angry over it. I had him tell me everything thst was going on, so I was up to date while I was gone.
This would continue for a few more weeks, and again, while I was away, EA would confront my brother, but this time, she said something thst made me lose it. My brother was telling my uncle that it probably wasn't a good idea to take a pastry with him downstairs, since it had a bunch of sugar. EA went ballistic over this and started getting in my brother's face, yelling about it and calling him a few names like r-tard, and said, and I quote, "No wonder you were bullied, you deserved it."
For context, my brother faced severe bullying when we were in school. He was thrown around, threatened, hit, and more. He also has an accent due to having multiple earaches as a baby, so sometimes, it's hard to understand him. He's a smart kid, with a good heart, and having a middle aged swamp monster with a superiority complex getting in his face and yelling at him about how stupid he was and saying he deserved to be bullied broke me and hurt him. He didn't show it, but I know it hurt him.
When I found out, I was angry, sad, and an all around mess. My bf read the messages and didn't know what to do. I was ranting and rambling angrily by this point, in tears and just about seeing red. I was getting more angry as I talked about it, completely unaware that while my bf was playing a game, he was playing with a friend, and they could hear everything. They heard my voice beginning to shake as I let out all my frustrations, and they heard how angry I was that this haggard hoghag of a woman could treat my little brother like that. I ended up crying myself to sleep that night, I was so furious.
After that, she kept coming around and trying to make all of us sound like the villains of the tale while she was the goodie two shoes. I cut all contact with her, refused to talk to her or even acknowledge her existence, and just continued to enjoy myself. My sister had some other plans
EA is diabetic, so she can't really have sugar, so my sister had an idea to pay her back, at least a little. EA had come over to open oysters with us. My grandmother had ordered them for me and my sister, because we enjoyed them so much. My sister decided to get some Popsicles from the freezer upstairs and started to eat one in front of EA. She also handed one to me, so I could enjoy too. We got some looks from EA, but I don't remember hearing her say anything. Later on, we even went so far as to make delicious chocolate chip banana bread while she was there, so she couldn't have some but had to deal with the temptation. I guess this could count as a petty revenge story, but I don't know where else to put this. I just wanted to get this story off of my chest and hear what the other petty potatoes think about this.
So, AITA for going to contact with my aunt? And for going so far as to make treats she can't have?

Hi, the past few days I had to think about about the Guardian, some of the issues the class has as it is right now, and how I would go about fixing them. I had a lot of (What I think to be) cool ideas and now want to share them across a few posts on this sub. This post is one of those. I will first write down the ideas I had as rules, and then later add some comments explaining my thoughts and reasoning behind those ideas.
Disclaimer: This is not me saying that this is what the Guardian SHOULD BE. I also don't claim that these changes would even necessarily be for the better. My goals with these posts is not to dictate how to make the Guardian properly. My goals with these posts is discussing potential issues with the Class (many of which have already been pointed out, some of which I haven't seen discussed much), talking about potential ways of fixing them and discussing game design in general, but primarily, my goal with this is just to share and discuss some cool ideas I had because I love homebrewing :). And how knows, maybe a Paizo designer stumbles across one of these and takes some inspiration, but that would already be far more than I would hope to accomplish.
Here is a list of all parts:
Reworking The Guardian Part 1: The Taunt Mechanic
Reworking The Guardian Part 3: Class Mechanics & Subclasses
This will probably the longest post. Here I go into the primary class options my homebrew Guardians would be able to choose from. At the end I discuss some feat ideas I had, some of which should replace feats I turned into class features. _______________________________________________________________________________________

Keyword Intercept:

Some abilities refer to this. These are the rules for intercepting

Intercept You attempt to redirect an effect away from an ally to yourself. Generally, only targeted effects can be intercepted. Attempt a check using your Class DC - 10 + your armors item bonus against the enemies relevant DC or 10 + the enemies relevant modifier. -Critical Success: As success, but you gain a +2 circumstance bonus to the relevant defense. -Success: You are in time. The effect targets you instead of your ally. You can still choose to split the damage like with the failure condition. -Failure: You are barley too late. If the effect causes damage, your ally takes half and you can take the other half. You an your ally only apply half your usual resistances against that damage. -Critical Failure: You fail to Intercept

Defensive Strategy

While all Guardians are specialists of protecting their allies, the way they go about doing so differs from Guardian to Guardian. Choose 2 of the following abilities. You Subclass will grant you a third one.

Tackle Ally ⟳ Trigger: An willing ally you are adjacent is about to be subject to a hostile effect. Effect: Before the effect resolves, you push the ally 5 feet away from you and enter their space yourself. This is forced movement. If their is not enough space for either, this ability fails. If the triggering effect was targeted, you also try to Intercept it. If the triggering effect was an area effect and the ally is now outside the area, they aren't affected.
Command Attention ◆ or ◆◆ (mental) Duration: Until the end of your next turn. Area: 15-foot or 30-foot emanation. Effect: All enemies in the area are taunted 1. The area depends on the actions spend.
Danger Sense Whenever you are in the presence of a hidden threat (Such as a potential ambush, traps, hidden weapons ect.) the GM secretly rolls a Perception check against a relevant DC (Usually the Stealth DC of the creature/object). On a success you spot the danger, on a critical success you or an ally of yours gains a +1 circumstance bonus on the relevant defensive stat for the purpose of the first check made to resist the spotted threat.
Hampering Sweeps ◆ Like the feat, but enemies can attempt a Reflex save against your class DC. -Success: They get away -Failure: They can't get away -Critical Failure: They can't get away and can't take move actions for the rest of their turn.
Taunting Strike ◆ (flourish) You Strike an enemy. If you hit they are taunted 1 (Taunted 2 on a critical).
Challenge ◆ (mental) Range: 60 feet Duration: 1 round. Effect: The enemy has to attempt a Will save against your Class DC. -Critical Success: They are unaffected. -Success: They are taunted 1. -Failure: They are up to taunted 2 (Your choice). -Critical Failure: They are up to taunted 2 for up to 2 rounds (Your choice).
Blanket Defense ◆◆ Like the feat.
Body Block ◆◆ Area: 5-foot emanation. Duration: Sustained up to 3 rounds. Effect: Whenever the line-of-effect of a ranged, targeted strike/ability/spell intersect the area, you can attempt to Intercept it. If the effect is a burst, line or cone and you are between an affected ally and the areas origin, you can attempt the same check as the one when you would Intercept, but it has the following effects: -Critical Success: As success but you get a +1 circumstance bonus to the relevant defense instead. -Success: Only you are affected and you take a -1 circumstance penalty to the relevant defense. -Failure: Both you and the ally are affected as normal.
Covering Statue You always provide Standard Cover instead of Lesser Cover to allies and allies can Take Cover behind you to upgrade this to Greater Cover.
Guard Ally ◆ Targets: An ally adjacent to you. Duration: Until the end of your next turn. Effect: As long as you are still adjacent to the target, you can Intercept all targeted effects the ally is subject to. If the ally moves, you can Stride up to your speed as a reaction, but you have to Stride towards the allies current position.
Guardian Lore You gain "Guardian Lore". You can use "Guardian Lore" to Recall Knowledge about offensive statistics and abilities and about ways of mitigating them. Your proficiency in Guardian Lore increases to expert at 3rd level, to master at 7th level and to legendary at 15th level.

Feat Ideas

Taunting Strength --- Feat 2 When you succeed at an Athletics check against an enemy, they have to make a Will save against your class DC. On a failure they are taunted 1 for 1 round (Taunted 2 on a critical failure). If you Athletics check was a critical success, they decrease their degree of success by one step.
Slowing Strike ◆ (flourish) --- Feat 6 Make a Strike against an enemy. If you hit, they need to make a Fortitude save against your Class DC. If your hit was a critical hit, they decrease their degree of success by 1 step. -Critical Success: They are unaffected. -Success: They take a -5 foot status penalty to their speed for 1 round. -Failure: They take a -15 foot status penalty to their speed for 1 round. -Critical Failure: They are Immobilized for 1 round.
Ground Stomp ◆◆ --- Feat 8 You stomp the ground so hard that it becomes uneven and difficult to walk through. The ground in a 10 foot emanation becomes difficult terrain. All creatures in the area must attempt a Reflex save against your Class DC. On a failure they loose 10 feet of their next Stride action. On a critical failure they also fall prone.
Don't Run! --- Feat 10 When an enemy is taunted by you, moving away from you is difficult terrain.

_______________________________________________________________________________________

Comments

I want to start by saying, that while there was a lot of though behind some of these, other more just proof of concepts, and I realize that these options are probably not balanced yet.
There are a few things I tried to accomplish with these changes

1. I think that the Guardian is thematically closer to an Archetype than a Class. Its about protection in two very specific and niche ways. I think, that while for archetypes to have a very specific/limited scope/theme, classes need to be more open ended, or if they are specific in theme (Like the Thaumaturge) they need to have a very strong theme. And even those very specific classes (Thaumaturge, Psychic, Gunslinger) usually have a lot of choices and different ways of being played/build. I think this is something the Guardian still lacks. I come back to this in my post about Class Mechanics & Subclasses, but I tried to expand the theme from "Very specific video game-esk semi-tank" to being about "Protection in various different ways".
2. I wanted to provide players with interesting choices and make it so that different Guardians can actually be very different.
3. I tried to balance some broken options.
4. I turned some Feats that I think are very fitting for the class into general class options that you can take at level 1.
5. I wanted these abilities to fulfill the "tank" fantasy better. Gameplay of tanks generally centers around positioning and space-control. So I added some abilities that allow you to engage with that aspect of strategy.

Now lets discuss specific options

• Intercept
  • I find it weird how, in the original guardian, this has very impactful ability and "absolute" ability had no check associated with it, while the ability that is just a debuff has. I feel like it should be the other way around. So I added a check. In return, I made it for more applicable. Now you can not only use it to block damage, but you can even use it to "tank" debuffing effects for your allies, widening the scope of what you can protect your allies from.
• Tackle Ally
  • This is basically the "replacement" for the original "Intercept" class feature, so what I wrote for "Intercept" also applies here. Additionally, I think the ability to control your allies positioning and, for example, push them outside of the range of an attack to protect them from follow-ups or out of a spells area opens a new dimension of strategy.
• Command Attention
  • I feel like a Tank class needs an option that allows it to take aggro from multiple smaller creatures around it at once. This ability also plays a lot with your positioning. I also think that it makes sense for this to be automatic. This avoids a lot of weirdness in regards to who you want to fail and who don't you want to fail and makes the ability both more consistently useful and simple.
• Danger Sense / Guardian Lore
  • I want to start by saying that I got the idea for these options from the Rules Lawyer Playtest stream, where they discussed the Guardian at the end. One of his players said how he wants the Guardian to also have protection themed exploration abilities, and I couldn't agree more. I think a "Protection" class should also have options for indirect protection. Both in reality and in fantasy, "protecting" not only includes physically putting yourself between the attacker and your protectee (Usually you needing to do that means that something went wrong), proper protection primarily means seeing potential dangers coming and knowing how to avoid or deal with them. These two options play into that aspect of protection.
• Hampering Sweeps/Blanket Defense
  • I think these feats are just so thematic, cool and fitting for the class that they should be primary class features. Hampering Sweeps also needs a small nerf of course because, no, I don't think a lv 1 Guardian should be able to literally bind a god if that god had no teleportation spells prepared xd. In regard to Blanket Defense, spending a whole turn on this, I think, feels bad, and I think that the ability is also balanced if it only causes two actions.
• Body Block
  • This is meant to be the classic Reinhard/Braum shield esk ability, where you can literally use a shield, or in this case your body, to intercept range attacks against your allies. This also makes positioning really important.
• Taunting Strike
  • This is supposed to be a cool option if you want to mix some offense into your Guardian.
• Covering Statue
  • Together with Taunting Strike this allows you to have an extremely action efficient Guardian, if you wanted to. You could then use those actions for something more action-intensive. This could open up a lot of cool build ideas.
• Slowing Strike
  • This is meant to provide the Guardian with another option to control the battlefield and indirectly protect their allies. This also particularly adds some cool ranged Guardian support I'd imagine.
• Ground Stomp
  • I am honestly not sure right now since it has been some time since I read through every single feat, but I feel like the Guardian currently lacks some sort of soft Aoe CC. This should provide this.
• Don't Run!
  • I feel like this is just a typical tank-space control ability that synergizes well with other class options. I think this opens up a lot of tactical possibilities for the class.

Freshly back and awake after a twelve day stint for my first time there. I knew that I wanted to go in general, and while I didn't have a firm itinerary planned out, there was one main goal that I had in terms of sites within the country. The main video game that I play is Beatmania IIDX, and it has internal trophies which are represented as badges. Your profile allows you to assign up to five of them as visible when you start a new round, and there are badges to earn for playing at least one round in every prefecture in Japan, as well as every subregion. Getting the Kanto badge meant that I needed to play at least one round in Tokyo, Kanagawa, Saitama, Gunma, Tochigi, Ibaraki, and Chiba. After five days, I had that complete, and now I have a permanent record of this trip within the game itself. There was also a time-limited event to earn points in IIDX in order to exchange them for goods, such as a hat, or a towel, or a new account card and a poster, and I managed to get that taken care of in somewhat dramatic fashion. I did some other things too.
Primary general points
· Getting Suica set on the phone and using it was generally painless. There were only two times where I needed to summon the help of a resident JR employee to clear up an issue with the gate not reading the card for some reason.
· Most vocal interaction which I had was the opposite of painless, because I continuously kept trying to speak Japanese and failing, and most people would realize that I was completely failing at it and responded with English (some with full on sentences, others with just a few words). There were a few rare times that I was able to express my intent in Japanese, receive a response, understand the response, and reply as necessary, but that was rare. Once English was invoked, I would stay with it, because that's what they were expecting. I've been self-studying the language for more than twenty years in varying degrees of intensity, and while my reading comprehesion seemed sufficient enough for this trip, and while I didn't expect my speaking to be as good because I don't have any opportunity to practice speaking, I came away bitterly disappointed in my vocal and speaking comprehension in terms of my interaction with people there. Even within the trip I could at least overhear common chitchat better, but any time I needed to converse with someone for some reason, I usually needed to have things repeated several times and broken down before I finally realized what was being said.
· You are going to be asked about separately buying a bag with every non-food purchase. Accept or immediately present one that you are carrying to indicate how your purchase shall be bagged.
· I never once had my passport requested for presentation.
· Only once did a person volutnarily reach out to address me, and it was just to ask me where I was from in English. Otherwise, everyone left me alone the entire time.
· Weather through the period was ideal. Mid to upper 70F/25C range and only a few days where it was rainy, and even then it wasn't a downpour. A while ago I personally resolved to only wear suits in public and I purchased a new pair of Mephisto shoes after hearing reports of the extensive walking causing problems for traveller's feet and shoes. My attire help up well; there were only a few times that I needed to avoid sunlight to not get too hot, and I have no issues to report from the shoes.
· I only got X'd out of a restaurant one time, and I think it's only because I wandered into it before it was ready for service. Otherwise, I never once waited in line for food, I never once went to restaurant more than once, and all food was acceptably priced for the portion and excellent for the quality.
For these per-day recounts, I wrote them contemporaneously at the end of each day, so you'll need to forgive me for some writing being in present tense and other writing being in past tense.
Day 1 - Travel, Sugamo, Ikebukuro
Non stop flight from Chicago OHare to Haneda. 12 hours. Good thing I usually don't watch movies, because that just means that all I needed to do was binge a few to make the trip go by.
Pre-trip research led me to choose APA Sugamo as my home base for the visit, and I think that it was a very fortuitious choice. I'll have more to say about it later.
Some awkward encounters happened right away upon checking in here. I was at the nearby Family Mart to buy some things and I didn’t catch that he was making sure I wanted a bag until he repeated it five times. Yes, I’ll take it. Before getting there I was coming down to ground level after checking into my room, and when that person saw that I would have been the only other person going down to the ground, they ducked right back out. I was warned on both of these kinds of things happening, so I guess it’s good to have that immediately out of the way. It would turn out that people deliberately avoiding me was rare throughout the trip.
Despite not sleeping on the trip, I had freshly arrived and had no sense of being tired, so once I had my stuff down, I went off to Ikebukuro right away. No picture or video truly conveys how crowded these areas can get. It can only be experienced in person to be understood.
I soon found Round One Ikebukruo and went right in. So dense and loud. It’s entirely alien to me to see no less than ten IIDX machines in operation and all of them in use. I dumped the money into random tickets, as I foresaw doing, but now I have to wonder if that was the right thing to do, or if it’s tied to that location. I guess I’ll find out.
The forecast is for rain so I need to be in a hurry to figure out where I’m going to go. There might be only one day left for me to get my time limited toys.
Day 2 - Kawasaki, Kanagawa - Utsunomiya, Tochigi - Oomiya, Saitama
My body decided that it only needed four hours of sleep this morning. Without doing more research, I somehow decided to assume that more of the Round One locations were close to 24 hours of operation much like Ikebukuro. Answer: no. I hopped on the train early and went to Shibuya first, but it was very quiet, so I decided to get some of the travels out of the way today and headed south to Kawasaki. I still needed to dawdle for a while until Silk Hat opened at 900AM, and when I finally was able to get inside, I was only able to verify that their store had several allotments of the campaign goods and all allotments were out. Played one round on a monitor that was surprisingly blurry, and I don’t know why that would be the case with a lightning model, but it was, so that was enough.
After doing all of that, I resolved to try to go to Chiba and Ibaraki afterwards. I figured that with Kanagawa and Tokyo likely all out, going to the outskirts would make more sense. However, there was an injury on one of the rails that threw everything off normal, and the train I found myself riding was bound for Utsunomiya instead. Seeing as how I was going to go there eventually, I rolled with it.
It doesn’t take too long to move away from Tokyo metropolitan area before you encounter more forest like areas and rice paddy fields. Halfway through the trip I noticed that two older women suddenly hopped off while the train was waiting to go to the next stop, and I followed them when I realized they found the express line. Utsunomiya has a substantial size to its area and buildings but it was very quiet on the streets there in midday. Walked a mile to Sega GIGO, found that they didn’t even have the goods tracker up. All out. Interesting buliding for it having several neon signs, all vintage and authentic at that. Getting to there from the south meant cutting through Saitama, so I knew I had enough time to make one last attempt there. Research shown two stores being near Oomiya station, so that’s where I ended up. Taito Station was immediately visible upon exit, and they have two IIDX machines specifically with 20 gram springs, which is closer to my home setup and that much lighter than standard 50 gram springs. The final hour drew near and I made one last visit to that city’s Round One. Unlike nearly every other place I went to so far, it only had one IIDX machine. However, and maybe because of that, their goods listing didn’t show everything as out. One painful language exchange later, I was able to discern that what I wanted was available. When you spend more than 3000 yen in a single credit, the game wants to verify if you really want to proceed. It does it again at 6000 and 9000. Yes, I really do. But, having made that money dump I was able to get my hands on the e-amuse card and poster with fifteen minutes left before the deadline. Mission complete. By this point in the day it was exceedingly difficult to even look at the screen so I was ready to come home, but not before getting some goods at the Oomiya Book Off and redeeming what I could for points at Round One Ikebukuro. By the end of the day the only thing that I could tolerate doing was to buy some chicken and nigiri from the nearby train station. Good enough. At that point in the day my body felt like it wants to rock back and forth after all the train riding done today. But, it ended up being worthwhile after all.
One nostalgic feeling I had the most strongly in the day was at the Utsunomiya location where the smell of it triggered past buried memories of yesteryear. I think I want to attribute it to the stronger second hand cigarette smell but I’m not sure - all the same I felt its presence strongly there. Also, I don’t see Oomiya (or really Saitama itself) mentioned as a fun place to go, but it might serve as an acceptable alternative to Ikebukuro, only not as massive in scale of human quantity. Depending on how the trip goes in total I may end up back there for IIDX playing, at least if I don’t find any other place that has 20G springs.
Day 3 - Akihabara
With the travels out of the way, it was time to keep things more regionalized and stick to one area, and there is shopping that needs to be done, so it was off to Akihabara and to see how much of other posted tales hold true. The answer is that it is a lot of it. Kotobukiya can stand to open sooner than noon. Super Potato is indeed priced for a market which wants to snap up anything cheap - I at least found Xi for under 500 and felt that it would have been a bit silly to buy only that, but it didn’t make spending 2000 on one single issue of Arcadia any better. I had no idea that Hey Arcade was right next to both of them; while it was assuredly nice to be there and see the row of Cave shooters among everything else, something got messed up with my registration of my new eamuse card with everything else, so that quickly added to my stress. Having to carry around a few hundred dollars worth of crap with every step didn’t help matters. At least I was able to help a person recover their lost phone by applying a bit of logic to the situation and deducing it to belong to the only person there who looked French, as it was on the Lock Screen. They were relieved, yes. Then, rain came, and it was more than I was anticipating, and I left the umbrella at the room, particularly since I knew I’d be shopping this day. It also turns out to have not mattered much, because I went to visit Bic Camera so that I could get myself a hair trimmer while here, and that turned into me finding a bunch of Kit Kats available, so that meant a second bag. The wind kicked out the rain and my umbrella. In trying to get as many gifts secured as possible, I found some gachapon, but it needed 100Y coins, and I didn’t need paper money in the trip yet. After fighting with maps, I found an ATM to get cash, and got the gachapon. I came home late with feeling rather crushed about the day in that I couldn’t take pictures very well with having to juggle weather and bagging considerations. There were some nice parts of the experience to be sure but between that and more gawking at Super Potato pricing ($135 for PS3 Caladrius? $6000 for Pulstar?) and seeing similar markups on other goods, I don’t think it’s unfair to say that there is a reputation that this area carries and the pricing is there to go with it.
Day 4 - Laundry Day. Shibuya, Harajuku, Shinjuku
I was so drained at the end of Day 3 that I fell asleep on the bed immediately after ending the night call, which meant that I woke up at 0200AM to a room that was fully lit. This meant that I needed to look up how to resolve my eamuse problem or else I wouldn’t be able to get back to sleep. I did both. Awake at 0800AM meant that I had time to do laundry while I figured out what to do with the rest of the day. This meant that I was able to get more of Sugamo in pictures, and it was nice to be able to walk among the actual residences, and do other things like come across a school as it was actually in session. With them being close by and all in succession, I figured to get Shibuya, Harajuku, and Shinjuku visited. It turns out to have been a good day for it, as the temperature was perfectly cool and no rain came, and the sun came out only for a little bit. Shibuya somehow doesn’t seem quite as large in scope in person but the crowds were definitely there, and it is much more hilly than I anticipated as well. After wandering around and not seeing any arcade for a bit, I came across a series of coffee and cookie shops and remained strong to not indulge. It was there while looking at a Disney store (which gets tourists to take pictures of it for some reason) that the song Alone Again came on through the nearby public speakers. What timing. It drove me to finally get a treat for myself, and the frozen latte (black sesame and houji) and croissant (dark chocolate filing) were certainly good, it ended up costing more than the dinner I’d have later this day. I found a seclusion with a garbage can to eat the food and not carry the trash around, then an arcade soon after, and it was time to determine if I could fix the problem. Just like an easy click, it was. New to trash. Old to new. Done. Why did it have to be this way. Harajuku came next, and the environment there was distinct. This one in particular felt like it was an extended carnival atmosphere with the single tight knit market street and emphasis on fashion. A conversation with a freelance artist in the subway actually went well enough that I didn’t feel dumb. The same sensation carried to Shinjuku as well, only it was more spread out. Kabuki street was interesting to see in person, and I didn’t get any unseemly vibes from the place. Maybe it’s different later at night. A return home at a reasonable time allowed me to go down Sugamo’s market street a bit; most of it was closed, but it was interesting to come across the few remaining stores that were open by 0800PM, and more so the one that wasn’t. Coming back to the hotel I found a 24 hour ramen shop with nobody inside. The chef didn’t want to speak and only pointed to the ordering kiosk when I addressed her. The food came through a slot in the obscured window. At least her thank you as I left was a bit more warm, and the food was certainly delicious. To match with the matcha dessert that I bought from Sugamo station, I swung by a 7Eleven to get a drink, and found a milk tea for cheaper than a vending machine. The overhead music in the store was an instrumental version of Alone Again.
Day 5. Ibaraki - Mount Tsukuba, Miraidaira. Kashiwa, Chiba. Akihabara 2.
Awake at 0500AM on my own and knowing the current forecast meant that my envisioned plan for the day was quickly realized. Reaching the Tsukuba Express starting point from Akihabara needs you to get very far down into the ground before getting out into sunlight. I was on the ride early enough to see schoolchildren going about their commute, some of them being no older than ten and going about it unaccompanied. The people of Tsukuba seemed to be particularly helpful and cheerful that day, even despite my Suica issues at the gate. I didn’t ask his name at the counter but the man at the service desk was eager to speak with me about my career and what I was doing there. One asked where I was from on the way up to the summit and another caught my cable car ticket on the way down. There had to have been a few of them who saw my doing this climb in my business attire and thinking me to be a complete idiot if not outright mocking them for doing it that way while they employed the use of dual walking sticks and the like. I know I read some reports of the home stretch being difficult, but it did get pretty close to being an actual rock climb instead of a trail hike for that part of it. A quick stop to Miraidaira on the way back to get the Ibaraki play. The way the town center greets you upon leaving the rail gate struck me as incredible, as well as for how quiet it was. It was like walking onto a movie set. I did find the sweet shop after the play, and that was another painful interaction yet again. Oh well. Two quick stops down Tsukuba Express and one across from Tobu Urban Park line was enough to have a toe in Chiba, and I didn’t even need to leave the physical building of the train station to get to the basement level to find a machine for a play. Thank you, Kashiwa, you were great. Gunma is all that’s left. The descent from Tsukuba did take some earnest exertion, and after doing that the two stops, that put me back in Akihabara about when I anticipated; what I failed to anticipate is how much that place seems to drain on me. I think I just need to eat at an actual dinner time. Once I got back to Sugamo and had food it was a bit better, but while in Akihabara and being around that environment, and not finding things on a shopping list, I found myself just standing still and watching life pass me by. I hemmed and hawed a while for a maid girl’s hour of service for chitchat, but eventually I talked myself out of it because I just didn’t want potential trouble, just like her name. Komaru. I thought about doing this once just to say that I did, but I ultimately decided against it. You cannot go to this place with the expectation that you will find anything unless it is advertised and new. If you are looking for anything used, don’t count on it being there. You also cannot go there without having a strong resolve to not engage with the touts, because it becomes disheartening to see them do their job and blankly stare at the world when they're forced to stand out there and do nothing. Back to Sugamo to find a place that advertised Wagyu but the price they wanted was more than I wanted to spend. The ramen and seaweed & rice servings were fine, but they advertised endless drink and I didn’t receive that. All for $20? No, son. I did better than that elsewhere, I’ll know better now. Long day.
Day 6 - Tokyo Flea Market, Nakano Broadway, Ueno.
The weather couldn’t have been better for this weekend. I’ve read reports that the flea market held near the horse race track will be arbitrarily cancelled regardless of what is reported on the website, but my gut instinct told me that it would occur today, and it did. Turns out that a flea market is a flea market which is a flea market, no matter where it happens. Same allotment of clothes and stuff that few people really want to buy, although I was able to find myself some neckties at least. I probably overpaid based on what I saw later in the route, but that’s fine. They look nice. I settled on some shot glasses for a gift as well, but I’m surprised that I can’t ind something ornate that isn’t part of a sake set. Seated in the shade with a chocolate churro while rap music played in the background - it’s like I never left home. A woman came to sit across from me for the sake of sitting down; she was from Holland and today’s her last day in the country. Her husband came with food eventually. She had three weeks here and went to several places (allegedly, she didn’t list them out) and I asked her about Nakano Broadway. She didn’t make it there. It’s a good thing that I did - this is probably the kind of environment and market that people expect of Akihabara now, and maybe that’s how Aki was years ago, but it’s different from this. What’s more interesting is that Mandarake has a larger presence here than in Akihabara (so it seems to me), and their stores had floor after floor of any and every kind of pop culture product that’s been made in the past sixty years at least. Buttress that with extensive watch and jewelry stores and a slender arcade in the basement, and it’s a very well centralized microcosm of the country’s economy on the whole. I actually made a point to have dinner earlier than usual this time and found a place to serve some deep fried pork cuts served with rice and soup on the side. It was enough, and very well made. The day had not ended and my bag was heavy with several books purchased there, so I reported back to base briefly and decided to try visiting somewhere else, and settled on Ueno. Just as I arrived, a festival was underway where local teams of people made an elaborate show of carrying a home made shrine to a temple. Streets were officially blocked by police to allow the procession. In following the line I came up against makeshift food and amusement stands with the traditional toy gun shooting and goldfish catching. It appears that this is an official “start of summer” festival and I was able to watch it all happen in front of me. That was the good part of the day.
Day 7 - Tachikawa / Kunitachi. Shinjuku 2.
One of the games that I've never played is Beatmania III The Final. I've played some BM3 7th Mix years ago, but not The Final. I found a location that has one - World Game Circus in Tachikawa. In looking around that area before the trip, I saw that there was a nearby shinkansen museum, and not much else, so I figured that going to both places would make that walk worthwhile. Turns out that it wasn’t a museum in the proper sense of a dedicated building. Rather, it was a bullet train engine car on the side of a building that was unrelated, and that was it. A cute interaction happened here - when I approached the car, I heard some children running around inside, so I approached cautiously without knowing if I was encroaching upon someone else's alloted time or something. Once the children saw me, they gave a hearty irrashaimase as I entered, and the boy stamped a paper and presented it to me. Perfect. Despite it not being a typical musem, the card did have some interesting content, and it's good to see some kind of commemoration for their achievements and progression in that industry regardless. They have a lot to be proud about there. Off to WGC. Maps wasn’t lying about the walk taking twenty minutes. It's a good thing that I looked it up on streetview beforehand, because I otherwise would have walked right past it without knowing it was there. Then there it was, and there I confronted a past that I couldn’t visit again. Sure, I got to play BM3 The Final at last, but my timing was off, my hands were off, there wasn’t much I could do. Along with that I can say that I’ve played on a Beatmania II cabinet, and that was better than 5th Style at least. But that was it, that was all I could stand to do. It was right there and I couldn’t bear to put up with it more than a few rounds at best. Dream big, because only disappointment follows if your smaller dreams ever are fulfilled. I don’t know why finding IKEA back in Shinjuku was so difficult, but it took a while. I bought a bag, and then I bought a bag because the other bag was at the end of the register, which makes sense. I did feed myself before getting back to the Taito station to play some songs, but it still wasn’t good enough. All thumbs. Ended the day with laundry since the timing worked. Speaking of making dreams big, it’s time to cross another one off the list tomorrow. I can’t wait.
Day 8 - Takasaki, Gunma. Oomiya, Saitama 2.
It’s a good thing that I only needed to get to Ikebukuro to transfer over to the next stop, because that’s where that particular run ended for some reason. I wonder what was up. Speaking of things getting messed up on trains, I managed to find my way on a train that needed a separate ticket, which I didn't have. The conductor found me right away and had me disembark at Uraja for me to wait for the proper transfer. The weather forecast said there’d be rain, and the travel forecast said it would take two hours to get there, and neither lied. I feel like I had more people staring at me in Gunma than other places. I will say that I found the Takasaki station area to be rather charming, with the stores that it had inside and the emphasis on the music culture there. It’s one thing to offer a piano to the public to play, but it’s another to have a public willing to use it. This location had both. Having what was essentially a Bic Camera built into the facility was a nice touch too. The Leisure Land arcade was sandwiched between other floors that had its own offering of gaming stuff, so that was an unexpected bit of a fun thing to look through. The area was clean and sparsely populated, and it wasn’t picked clean of all matter of things that would normally get snapped up, so that was interesting. Finally, I made it over to the machine. They had separate fans for each location. I got the songs and then the medals came, and that’s that. Kantou Seiou. I would have stayed a bit longer but I wanted to have the medals show up right away, and my internet wasn’t cooperating, so that’s all I could do. I think there was an Internet cafe that I could have used in the facility, but I didn’t want to deal with an awkward conversation. I did get some Lawson on the way out, as well as some trinkets from the local Gunma-chan store as well as some mini croissants and some macademia cookie things. More vocal awkwardness. Omiya was one of the stops on the way back, and I found a place to serve omrice, so that’s another one off the list. No shoes allowed inside. The value wasn’t there but the service was good enough, as was the flavor. The machines with the 20G springs are indeed legit. Back home in time for some McDonalds, and that’s another food-checklist item marked off. Takoyaki mayo dipping sauce - somehow it’s both salty and sweet. While returning to the hotel, I did happen to encounter an argument amongst two teenaged locals where the guy ended up half-heartedly kicking the girl and getting her to cry. I wonder what their argument was about. I didn’t play hero, but someone else did so enough to prevent an escalation and called the police over.
Day 9 - Sugamo, Tokyo Sky Tree, Akihabara 3, Kanda
Up early enough to decide that I should at least visit the Sky Tree while I'm there just to say that I did, and that I should visit the Sugamo street market upon its open since it was right there in front of me. I'm glad to have done so. With everything open, this felt more like what one would think to expect from a flea market environment that's operated and supported by the local populace. Small stores were open both sides of the street that go on for many blocks, and some tents and tables were set up to sell second hand goods as well. I was able to find someone selling a US Morgan dollar and he wanted only 2000Y for it, so that was an easy buy. If I would have known better to anticipate this area, I wouldn't have felt compelled to buy kitchy tourist crap that is expected as gifts elsewhere. If you are looking for a place to idly shop around that doesn't get extremely crowded and has an authentic local feel to it, consider making a point to come here. Off to Sky Tree. Getting the combo ticket for the second deck was worth it just for the lack of crowds on the upper area. If you're going to come here, consider getting a phone selfie stick or something of the kind so that you can take pictures against the windows without the structure scaffolding obstructing your view. On the subject of shopping again, this might be another area to consider visiting just for the sake of the specialty stores to be found here, such as those for chopsticks or hairpins. To close out the day, my wife reminded me to look for something from the Square Enix cafe, so that meant swinging by Akihabara yet again. Since it is within a walkway, it was a bit of a pain to find this place even with using maps, but I eventually found it and got what she wanted to find. Played some IIDX at Game Panic, which was surprisingly small and the one machine that was avaialble to play had some 2P turntable issues, so that didn't last all that long. Dinner was at a nearby place that specalized in tofu, so that was a good ramen serving with that infused. For the evening, I wandered south to Kanda to get night pictures, and found it to feel pretty similar to Ueno.
Day 10 - Ginza, Tokyo, Kanda & Akihabara 4
Launrdry in the morning. I also wanted to say that I went to Ginza in my time here, and I didn't research anywhere to go to keep it a surprise. It was a bit warmer and sunnier than usual that day, and I stuck to the main road for most of the walk, so I can't say that I found too many points of the interest along the path that I walked starting from Yurakucho station and heading out that way. High class store for high class people, and that's too rich for my peasant blood. Similarly for Tokyo proper itself, I suppose I'd have to needed to wander far away from the Yamanote vicinity to find points of interest there, as I didn't encounter anything that was remarkably distinctive here in comparison to other areas that I have previously seen. Continuing north across Nihonbashi brought me to Kanda and eventually to Akihabara yet again, as if it was a magnet that pulled me inside every time. For the sake of trying a different place I chose to play some IIDX at the Leisure Land arcade there, and I'm glad to have done that, as those machines were probably in the best coniditon that I encountered within that area. Dinner was at Tenkaippin, which I didn't realize until after I placed the order was cash only. The clerk didn't request it beforehand but I voluntarily left my passport there to show that I would return, and promptly went to the same ATM that I had found days prior in order to get the cash to pay for the bill.
Day 11 - Haneda T3, Nishi Nippori, Nippori, Uguisuidani, Otsuka, Shibuya, Shinjuku, Ikebukruo, home.
The end. I resolved to take the subway over to Haneda today to get the one luggage over there and stored, and it’s a good thing that I did - there’s no easy solution for getting over there without encountering a crowd. If anything I wonder if Yamanote is actually better. Regardless, I got that much done. With the day left to go, I ventured to Nishi Nippori and I needed to summon the map several times to make sure I found the location, as it was as obscure as it could get. Just a sign on the ground for the third floor, a stairway that led to the back, an elevator that had no decoration, a single room that housed everything. Arcade PCB kits on shelves, joystick panels in exposed boxes, nicotine odor from years past - it was like I was transported to 1995 upon entry, beyond the fact that the games weren’t as old. Most of them, they did have a lot going for SF3 3rd yet. I was able to take care of some game business in a hurry since I was the only one there. It was a very pleasant respite for play in comparison to most of the other sessions. The region itself felt much the same as this arcade - old and well worn, as in well lived. Venturing south to Nippori led me to stumble upon a shrine and cemetery just by following some stairs. Usuigudani was cleaner but mostly had hotels as points of interest. Back home to buy some mochi while mochi was for sale in midday. Then to Otsuka, thinking that I would wander to Ikebukuro, but I ended up wandering back to Sugamo instead. Whoops. Meal at Sugamo, then back out to return to Shibuya and Shinjuku at night to catch evening shots, when I hadn’t done so before at these places. Good thing I did that to get Golden Gai area shots at night. With the night winding down, I decided to have one last IIDX play at Round 1 in Ikebukuro to symbolically end where I started.
Ending arcade comments
· Although the upkeep is generally better and more consistent than the US, some machines will have hardware issues here too. I was surprised by the blurriness with some of the LM IIDX machines.
· Densha De Go on the propert large cabinet is nice but quickly becomes very expensive.
· Bombergirl is OK enough and having the dedicated detonator button that pops up for hitting the base is a cute touch.
· Chase Chase Jokers feels rather clunky and I'm not sure what the game is trying to do. Interesting side screen concept at least.
· Nostalgia is delightful and would probably find a small fanbase worldwide if it had more exposure.
· Favorite IIDX locations are Taito Station in Oomiya for the light keys and Leisure Land Akihabara for the high quality of the LMs there. Honorable mention goes to the Game Versus loctation in Nishi Nihonbashi, but that might not be worth it for a dedicated trip unless you go there first thing in the morning.
Ending overall comments
This was a life altering trip for me, as would be expected. While I'm glad to have made the journey, as to be expected, I will only want to return after making an extensive redoubled effort into speaking and hearing comprehension, because I know that I came across like a blubbering idiot so many times, and it's truly aggravating because I generally know what I want to say and most of the words that are used to say it, but it just doesn't come out of my mouth properly when it needs to be done.
I welcome any questions you may have, as that will help for me to recall the memories and have me write them down.

Okay, it all started 6 years when I first stumbled upon this:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RR1YcjfAddI then one of the Zero Hour episodes).
Notice in that MMD video there's High School Of The Dead and Terminator references/Easter eggs? That's what inspired me to start this mission making a Blender animation with this type of Easter egg(s). Vocaloid and anime characters - particularly my personal favourite cartoon and anime characters in place of the originals. This is all that was needed to set my dream of a parody video or Easter egg hunt involving my favorite fictional animated characters combined with existing media into motion.
But due to some power-happy mods/admins of certain websites who had no idea of this special mission of mine - as I was hiding it until it's complete (no spoilers), they had to act above and beyond and discipline me by either removing my posts regarding this question (E.G., "Where can I download this sound effect(s)?") or out-of-the-blue (perma)-banning me for "breaking the (site) rules"/"piracy efforts"!
Plus, it took me a whopping 8 years (as no keyword I used (at the time) yielded what I was expecting/requested for) just to determine/figure out it was Hollywood Edge, Hanna Barbera, Sound Ideas, etc., etc. that I had to refer to for the "common sound effects" we hear all the time in TV shows, movies, video games, and cartoons. This is a new realm of sound effects to me and now that I finally found it, I need a breather. But these mods/admins gave me anything but that.
Even the MMD community has rules to follow regarding downloading models others have "created" - those that were literally ripped from a video game. So to still respect the MMD model usage rules/be a law-biding citizen, I resorted to Blender as after watching a 3D remaster of Cars Community Service, I realized Blender is basically the entire package.
If you don't understand English, here's the simple version: I need help to streamline my 3D modelling process to obtain 3D models of things I’ll need for my Blender animation - with whatever strategy I can improvise. I need any readily available and already made 3D models for my Blender animation. I’m currently 28 years of age; I got this far in my life, but I’m not sure how much further I can go. But this is one case where I won’t accept “Too bad, so sad” that easily.
Whether it’s requesting for the thing for this game via the game dev team’s email by emailing them what you request for in the game and once they do make it for the game and upload it to their client and I update my copy of the game via patching, I then decompile the game from my end and presto. I obtain that game’s new model.
It’s faster to rip them from a game as they’re already made for that game.
Sadly, I have yet to find a high graphic Columbine High School in it’s original floor plan as a 3D model via any game. So I have to fall back to Plan B and make it via Blender. But that (learning to use Blender) takes time and I’m not that skilled at using Blender yet. So I have to seek help from someone who’s already an expert and fluent with using Blender or any other 3D modelling software to make it for me to streamline that process.
But some people have died earlier than anticipated like Terry Fox when he died of cancer at 22 and Wowaka when he died of heart failure at 31. So I’m not taking any chances and need to streamline the modelling process with any measure or strategy I can think up before I meet a similar early fate like they did.
Is that the way you want to go? To leave your fan base hanging in suspense for the rest of their lives while you head for your eternal place in the who-knows-where's? Every millisecond counts. - Especially for those who have a terminal illness and are literally living on borrowed time. Some of us must and will complete our goals no matter what obstacles we encountewhat gets in our way in any way possible. You really never know when your time is up. Age has no relation to when is the day you die; it could happen on any day and we need to get our goal done with whatever strategy we can whip up/improvise. I'm still bummed Wowaka missed out on the Project VOLTAGE collaboration with Miku.
Wouldn't you feel bummed if your family member or friend or relative died too soon if you were this close to letting them see something you made? So via the game dev's email and requests forum, I request for the said model, but make sure it's somehow related to the game's gameplay or storyline.
This is the strategy: get a game dev company to make the models for me, but via for the video game. That way, once it's released to the public, I work my magic from there and decompile the game for the said 3D model. Thanks to Payday 2 and it's Bundle Modder and Diesel Tool programs, it dramatically cuts down the amount of time I need to remodel the stuff I need for my Blender movie from scratch.
Plus, I can't just think about myself, I gotta think about others too. So I thought "What if everyone would enjoy my weapons and stuff in the said video game?" But since I don't work for the game dev company, I might as well write to them my request list of things to implement into the game via their email. Now that I submitted my ideas for their games, all I have to do is wait til they make it now while I finish up some unfinished personal matters on my end.
Columbine High School is going to play an important role in my Class of 1999 (starring Bradley Gregg) parody movie. But so many people are reluctant to help me due to this school building.
And also, you can’t imagine the heartache I endured while trying to seek assistance in searching for sound effects. They treated me like I’m some felon trying to “pirate” sound effects. So after 3 months of wasted time on my sound effects search quest, the least I can do right now is make up for that wasted time.
Finally, this is the whole reason Alvin Earthworm discontinued Super Mario Bros Z: "Us: HURRY UP WITH THE NEXT EPISODE ALREADY!", his project was merely intended to be a hobby. So to avoid comments like that, I'm going to finish my animations FIRST, then upload them later. So you can see what happens at the end before you pass away early.
So yes, is there anything wrong with thinking/planning ahead of YOURSELF as well as thinking about others before you do the same (stupid) thing they did? I even did my due diligence and stumbled upon things like this: Run Hide Fight (Isabel May). They clearly did their planning, due diligence, and studies before publishing this movie. So therefore, as long as I follow the same procedure, I should be able to publish my Blender vocaloid parody video while offending as little to no people in the process. I'm going to make a Class of 1999 (Bradley Gregg) parody video that involves several of the Zero Hour episodes mixed together as Easter eggs along with my favorite characters and things taking place of the original characters and props - while in the process, making a few changes to the story line.

My friend said his kid is in treatment to get off video games.I said I never heard of a kid needing treatment to get off dirt bikes.

At this point, I've unlocked and played with all of the non-hidden aspects. I'm not sure if there are any hidden aspects in the game yet. This post exists to help me organize my thoughts on the various weapons as well as to get other peoples opinions. Please feel free to share your own thoughts or comment on mine.

1. Descura (staff) : The "basic" weapon of the game with a simple fast combo attack, useful ranged attacks, and generally good frame data. It can outrange most enemy attacks and is much faster than most enemy attacks making It generally effective at all ranges and generally safe. It makes perfect sense that this is the introductory weapon.
   1. Aspect of Melinoe : The already safe weapon becomes marginally safer by accelerating omega moves. I generally think this aspect could use a buff. Honestly, all of the "omega effects are faster" have struck me as really underpowered and barely noticeable. This is exacerbated by "the sorceress" arcana which makes pretty much all casts reasonably safe already. Maybe making the numbers bigger would make it feel better? Maxing out at 50% instead of (I believe) 30%. IDK, The buff just doesn't do enough to be interesting. I think a total redesign is needed since, at the moment, this aspect seems mostly overshadowed by...
   2. Aspect of Circe : Staff now gains a very powerful arcana recovery after 21 hits. This recovery ALSO makes your omega moves 15% faster. The arcana recovery is extremely potent which kind of eliminates the need for a gain boon and/or "the unseen" arcana, though obviously more recovery is better. I suspect the staff would feel better if upgrading it reduced the number of hits needed to activate serenity instead of increasing the length of serenity. But in general, I think this is an interesting aspect that changes how you evaluate a lot of boons
   3. Aspect of Momus : Staff now deals a lot more base special damage and can heal you using Omega special when you are low health, and this healing works outside combat meaning you can essentially always heal up to 50% after a battle (assuming you have arcana). This aspect is totally cracked. Your special goes from being a fast ranged poke for 10 to a poke for 40, and again that is base damage so you can toss a boon on top to get to 60-80 damage per hit. If this aspect only healed you or only buffed the special it would be a reasonable design. The fact that it does both and does both very well is absurd.
   4. Final Thoughts: Aspect of Momus seems way over tuned. Aspect of Melinoe and Aspect of Circe seem to be really stepping on eachothers toes in terms of design space since they both give you the same buff in slightly different ways. If I was a designer, I'd take the special damage buff from Momus and give it to Melinoe, replacing the omega speed buff. I'd then make the Momus heal effect work when dealing Omega attack damage instead of when hitting yourself with the Omega special. This would mean that there would be a special focused aspect, an attack focused aspect, and an Omega focussed aspect with no stepping on any toes.
2. Lim and Oros (daggers) : These remind me a lot of twin fists from the first game. They are fast, short range weapons but can extend out to medium range using an omega attack or special. They feel really good to use.
   1. Aspect of Melinoe : Now buffed to deal more backstab damage which plays well (albeit a bit inconsistently) with the omega attack. I wish the numbers were a bit higher. As is, the buff doesn't feel super relevant and doesn't much change how I approach combats. I don't find myself working that hard to get backstrikes, but I happily benefit when they happen
   2. Aspect of Artemis : Faster omega attack + a "riposte" ability that can block damage and buff your own that will work once every 15 seconds. Again, I find the "faster omega" buff to be not super noticeable, and that is all you get for upgrading. I don't have a ton of experience with this aspect. I don't enjoy the waiting required to let an enemy attack me to activate riposte to get the actual crit buff and then the further waiting for riposte to be active again. The latter "wait" could be removed by, for example, putting riposte on a 25 hit cooldown which could be reduced via upgrade. I think this would make the aspect feel a lot better
   3. Aspect of Pan: The omega special focused daggers that now take longer to charge and hit more times. This is trying to be reminiscent of the Bow aspect of Chiron but it doesn't really work. That weapon worked because you could smoothly transition from long range attack to a medium range special (thanks to the seeking effect) which would then wear off allowing you to transition into short range specials or dash out to reengage at long range. This led to really dynamic combat with interesting decisions. Aspect of pan is trying to do the same thing where your knives seek out enemies in your cast letting you increase the effective range of your omega special, but your cast is a short range effect already, at best medium range if you get a throw cast, and if you are already at short range, you can just dump an omega special into an enemy without the seeking effect at all. All in all, I think this would be a better design if the seeking effect just wasn't there and all it did was increase number of knives thrown, making the omega special a more effective medium range AOE and more damaging close range tool
   4. Final thoughts: All in all, I really like these designs. I think they could all use some tweaks but all the aspects feel different and potentially interesting after some relatively minor tweaks
3. Ygnium (torches) : These feel atrocious to use. Slow moving attacks, special attacks that you can't meaningfully target with, an extremely slow omega attack that requires slowly spamming the attack that also makes you move slow. You can occasionally dash to reposition while using your attack, but it still feels bad. The omega special attack just deals some more passive damage, with no hit stun, on enemies who come close. In terms of numbers, this weapon really isn't that bad, it deals good damage, it just feels miserable and spammy. I have almost no control over what enemies I'm attacking, I'm just kind of throwing out hit boxes and trying to maintain good spacing to keep the hit boxes relevant.
   1. Aspect of Melinoe : The omega special I hate now lasts a bit longer.
   2. Aspect of Moros : The spammy imprecise attack now has a secondary hitbox if you also spam your special.
   3. Aspect of Eos : The spammy imprecise attack now has a different secondary hitbox but it triggers on dash instead of special
   4. Final thoughts: Honestly, I just don't think this weapon is fun and if it was completely cut from the game with no replacement, I think the game would be better.
4. Zorephet (greate axe) : The heavy hitting melee weapon. Giant hit boxes and giant damage. The special is weird. I don't intuit why a giant battle axe would have a "shield" for a special. The specials hit box is deceptively small, and the block effect is finicky and unreliable. The omega special is epic though.
   1. Aspect of Melinoe : Your giant axe is now a bit faster. It is a pretty subtle effect though.
   2. Aspect of Charon : Your cast + omega special combo now works even better. Bonus points for helping to teach players the cast + omega special combo. Again, the numbers seem tweaked such that the actual buff (damage buff for cast) is pretty small. It is definitely noticeable at higher rank, but doesn't feel great. It is also awkward that this ALSO makes your omega cast last longer despite not being detonated by your omega special. Making your omega cast last longer is usually a bad thing so this feels like a strange nerf
   3. Aspect of Thanatos : Big numbers are even bigger thanks to the pretty substantial crit buff this aspect offers. At low ranks, this buff is pretty negligible, at high ranks this buff becomes very significant.
   4. Final thoughts: This is another great batch of designs. I think the omega cast for Aspect of Charon needs to be fixed. I think some numbers need tweaking, but the designs make a ton of sense and after some minor tweaks, I think they will all feel really good.
5. Revaal (skulls) : I think this is the most interesting weapon Hades 2. Its a heavy hitting medium range attack with an ammo feature. These are kind of reminiscent from the cast from Hades 1, but play much better since the skulls always drop immediately. It really sucks when your skulls wind up off the map though. It just grinds the game to a halt. The special attack is a weird dash that is pretty boring and weak. The omega special is a massive AOE that is actually pretty useful.
   1. Aspect of Melinoe : Your attack deals more damage, and deals even more damage if you can optimize your range. No notes. Aspect is great.
   2. Aspect of Medea : Basically, you are now your attack hit box. Your attack now sticks to you, deal damage on a time delay, and deal a bit more damage. Your omega attack stays a ranged attack if you need a ranged attack. I like the idea here but its stepping on the toes of Aspect of Melinoe a bit.
   3. Aspect of Persephone: This is the omega special focused aspect. The first effect is simple, increase omega special damage. The second is pretty complicated. When you deal damage, you charge up a little "chaos", after you charge enough, potentially over many encounters, you can use your omega special, except after your initial dash you will be put into a invincible sprint and keep shooting out beams with the amount of time you sprint dependent on how much chaos you banked up. Basically, your omega special acts kind of like a call boon from Hades 1. I think its a cool idea but it charges extremely slowly. If I were the designer, I'd have it charge much more quickly when you get in hits but then lose charge over time. This would the super omega special a cool reward for playing aggressively that players could feasibly use more like once or twice per encounter instead of once or twice per floor. Maybe make the max invulnerability time shorter to compensate.
   4. Final thoughts: Again, this is another batch of interesting designs. I don't like that two of the aspects basically boil down to being attack buffs, but at least the attacks themselves are radically different. I also think aspect of Persephone needs some pretty substantial tweaks.

All in all, I'd say that the weapons and aspects are in a pretty good spot. With the exception of Ygnium, which I don't think can be meaningfully saved, all the other weapons are powerful and fun with reasonably diverse aspects, allowing for some number tweaks to emphasize their unique characterestics. Only one aspect (Momus) seems wildly more powerful than it should be. One aspect (Descura- Melinoe) seems like it needs a major redesign. A few aspects (persephone, pan, charon, and circe) would benefit from relatively minor design tweaks.
What do you all think? What do you think of my proposed changes? Are there any huge things I overlooked or got wrong? Do you think Ygnium is fun?

Okay, it all started 6 years when I first stumbled upon this:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RR1YcjfAddI then one of the Zero Hour episodes).
Notice in that MMD video there's High School Of The Dead and Terminator references/Easter eggs? That's what inspired me to start this mission making a Blender animation with this type of Easter egg(s). Vocaloid and anime characters - particularly my personal favourite cartoon and anime characters in place of the originals. This is all that was needed to set my dream of a parody video or Easter egg hunt involving my favorite fictional animated characters combined with existing media into motion.
But due to some power-happy mods/admins of certain websites who had no idea of this special mission of mine - as I was hiding it until it's complete (no spoilers), they had to act above and beyond and discipline me by either removing my posts regarding this question (E.G., "Where can I download this sound effect(s)?") or out-of-the-blue (perma)-banning me for "breaking the (site) rules"/"piracy efforts"!
Plus, it took me a whopping 8 years (as no keyword I used (at the time) yielded what I was expecting/requested for) just to determine/figure out it was Hollywood Edge, Hanna Barbera, Sound Ideas, etc., etc. that I had to refer to for the "common sound effects" we hear all the time in TV shows, movies, video games, and cartoons. This is a new realm of sound effects to me and now that I finally found it, I need a breather. But these mods/admins gave me anything but that.
Even the MMD community has rules to follow regarding downloading models others have "created" - those that were literally ripped from a video game. So to still respect the MMD model usage rules/be a law-biding citizen, I resorted to Blender as after watching a 3D remaster of Cars Community Service, I realized Blender is basically the entire package.
If you don't understand English, here's the simple version: I need help to streamline my 3D modelling process to obtain 3D models of things I’ll need for my Blender animation - with whatever strategy I can improvise. I need any readily available and already made 3D models for my Blender animation. I’m currently 28 years of age; I got this far in my life, but I’m not sure how much further I can go. But this is one case where I won’t accept “Too bad, so sad” that easily.
Whether it’s requesting for the thing for this game via the game dev team’s email by emailing them what you request for in the game and once they do make it for the game and upload it to their client and I update my copy of the game via patching, I then decompile the game from my end and presto. I obtain that game’s new model.
It’s faster to rip them from a game as they’re already made for that game.
Sadly, I have yet to find a high graphic Columbine High School in it’s original floor plan as a 3D model via any game. So I have to fall back to Plan B and make it via Blender. But that (learning to use Blender) takes time and I’m not that skilled at using Blender yet. So I have to seek help from someone who’s already an expert and fluent with using Blender or any other 3D modelling software to make it for me to streamline that process.
But some people have died earlier than anticipated like Terry Fox when he died of cancer at 22 and Wowaka when he died of heart failure at 31. So I’m not taking any chances and need to streamline the modelling process with any measure or strategy I can think up before I meet a similar early fate like they did.
Is that the way you want to go? To leave your fan base hanging in suspense for the rest of their lives while you head for your eternal place in the who-knows-where's? Every millisecond counts. - Especially for those who have a terminal illness and are literally living on borrowed time. Some of us must and will complete our goals no matter what obstacles we encountewhat gets in our way in any way possible. You really never know when your time is up. Age has no relation to when is the day you die; it could happen on any day and we need to get our goal done with whatever strategy we can whip up/improvise. I'm still bummed Wowaka missed out on the Project VOLTAGE collaboration with Miku.
Wouldn't you feel bummed if your family member or friend or relative died too soon if you were this close to letting them see something you made? So via the game dev's email and requests forum, I request for the said model, but make sure it's somehow related to the game's gameplay or storyline.
This is the strategy: get a game dev company to make the models for me, but via for the video game. That way, once it's released to the public, I work my magic from there and decompile the game for the said 3D model. Thanks to Payday 2 and it's Bundle Modder and Diesel Tool programs, it dramatically cuts down the amount of time I need to remodel the stuff I need for my Blender movie from scratch.
Plus, I can't just think about myself, I gotta think about others too. So I thought "What if everyone would enjoy my weapons and stuff in the said video game?" But since I don't work for the game dev company, I might as well write to them my request list of things to implement into the game via their email. Now that I submitted my ideas for their games, all I have to do is wait til they make it now while I finish up some unfinished personal matters on my end.
Columbine High School is going to play an important role in my Class of 1999 (starring Bradley Gregg) parody movie. But so many people are reluctant to help me due to this school building.
And also, you can’t imagine the heartache I endured while trying to seek assistance in searching for sound effects. They treated me like I’m some felon trying to “pirate” sound effects. So after 3 months of wasted time on my sound effects search quest, the least I can do right now is make up for that wasted time.
Finally, this is the whole reason Alvin Earthworm discontinued Super Mario Bros Z: "Us: HURRY UP WITH THE NEXT EPISODE ALREADY!", his project was merely intended to be a hobby. So to avoid comments like that, I'm going to finish my animations FIRST, then upload them later. So you can see what happens at the end before you pass away early.
So yes, is there anything wrong with thinking/planning ahead of YOURSELF as well as thinking about others before you do the same (stupid) thing they did? I even did my due diligence and stumbled upon things like this: Run Hide Fight (Isabel May). They clearly did their planning, due diligence, and studies before publishing this movie. So therefore, as long as I follow the same procedure, I should be able to publish my Blender vocaloid parody video while offending as little to no people in the process. I'm going to make a Class of 1999 (Bradley Gregg) parody video that involves several of the Zero Hour episodes mixed together as Easter eggs along with my favorite characters and things taking place of the original characters and props - while in the process, making a few changes to the story line.

[---Buffs---]
HANK!

1. Charging time : 3s-2.5s
   
2. Added tank trait
   
3. Its GONNA Blow (Sp ) : 10%-15% efficiency
   
4. Hp value 10800-11600
   

( Despite this SHRIMP got huge BUFFS yet still staying on the bottom of the tiers ,is really unideal For that being. This should make him put more pressure and be a little defensive on close range scenario's . Also his sp where he gets his speed buff should be increased as it is only a 10% increaseal )
BARLEY

1. HP value: 4800-5000
   
2. Reload speed increased by 5%
   

( I tried not to give everyone a DMG change since DMG inflation is continuously rising over time.... Soo tried some alternative options tbh. )
TARA

1. Both of her spawnables hp from SP increased by 800 ---( 2400-3200)---( 3000-3800)---

( Nobody's Talkin about how she fell off in the last few months.
BTY tried a different buff for her. What I've seen is what her spawnables hp from both of her SP is still the same even aftrr the universal stat buff. No wondy why her spawnables are soo fragile RN. )
JANET

1. Attk range: 8.33-9 blocks/tiles

( Hot take but the only thing that i suffer when playing janet is how low her range is.... As a marksman, she just..... Doesn't seem too have enough range, AKA underwhelming ..... Havin that low of attk distance also makes her more fragile, TBH i think this single buff is enough to give her a substantial improvement. )
DARRL
1.Steel hoops SP : Effect duration 2s-3s

1. Projectile amount : 5-4 DMG Distribution ==> 480--600 per projectile
   
2. Rolling reload: now also grants CC immunity for 1s
   

( Darrls viability is slowly descending due to better picks and HCS ( OFC ) but instead giving a basic Hp Buff, i thought what about buffing his steel hoops, as now he can be more aggro with his playstyle as he will be alot tankier . Also with the second change, he can do more consistent chip DMG even at max/mid range)
DOUG

1. Base healing: 1200-1600
   
2. Teammates after reviving by his super will get 25% Shield for 3s
   

ASH

1. FULL Rage gained from receiving DMG : ==>125%- 100% of his base hp
   
2. Rage bar now decays 15% slower
   

( He is also powercrept due to not having a HC as tanks get the most benefit from it and get the most sufferings without it...BUT, recently i am seeing that, as more characters are getting HCs, tanks HCs are also getting powercrept. Those HCS are still Strong tho ...... But i dont think a single HC will make him alot better. This change should let him be more AGGRO tbh )
[--MISCELLANEOUS BUFFS--]
HIEST SAFE: Base HP increased by 25% Upto ==>(80000-100000 hp)

 2. Now has a Damage cap of 5000 per second 

( Do i need to say somtin?.... HIEST recently has been INSANELY powercrept due to more high DMG dealing characters as well as balance changelogs, this sure is a necessary change RN)
[---DeBuffs---]
ANGELO

1. movement speed reduced to fast when charging attks ( from very fast)
   
2. SCR : 2-2.5 shots
   
3. Main attk DMG : 4400-4000
   

( Absolute insane marksman RN... The HIGH DMG combined with his insane speed is ridiculous )
MELODIE

1. Dash range reduced by 25%
   
2. Base SCR : 4-5
   
3. SCR from notes cut in HALF.
   

Misc: 1. After hitting a main shot, notes will no longer Dmg target's on the middle of the attacker ( Nerf )
( INSANELY high mobility and Very fast SCR... Considering how easy to hit shots TBH.... Also nobody's giving a Fuck about it... But for some reason, when applying her basic attk, the notes appear literally from her a-- inside..... , Dealing 2760 per attks... Even if all 3 of your notes are charged, u still do insane Dmg with that goffy ahh gimmick. [ 920 from basic attks+ 1840 from the notes ] this substantially increases her Burst DMG value... also once she gets her super... its pretty easy to cycle it with her notes as the notes charge rate is the same as the base SCR, aka 4 hits......Allowing her to do absurd teamwipes . Also the inability to charge notes from special targets will make her an insane Victim of spawners like Nita and Jessie )
PIPER

1. DMG value: ==>3400-3200
   
2. Autoaimer (gadget) : knockback removed, and increased slowness by 300% ( 0.5-2.0s slow ) and DMG increased to 800 from 160
   

( Having two jail free cards as a marksman are already insane, soo one of them should be tuned down, this gadget change will let her intruder's aproch slower but will not cancel their attks . Mainly the intention is , there should be a way to counter her Greatly in close scenarios.
And talk about her DMG, IMO way overtuned, way too much rewarding when shot hits , needs a balance between like what happened to Nani. )
SANDY

1. HCR : 60%-40% ( 1.66-2.5 supers )

( His HC is incredibly strong AF, As if it wasn't enough..... )
JESSIE

1. HCR : 60%-50% ( 1.66-2 Supers )

( got overtuned TBH, getting that much 10k hp turrets are just too overwhelming )
BELLE
--HYPERCHARGE TWEAKS--

1. DMG boost: 25%-20%
   
2. Speed boost: 26%-18%
   

( BELLEs high DMG boost from her HC makes her soo much deadly, so does the speed which also does insane job )
BYRON

1. Base healing/DMG: 760-720

( Ok i am sorry, but IMO his Dmg/heal got way overtuned.... I already Kinda doubted that after this change he might need a small Nerf... But at the same time... I think he will still be really Good )
CHARLIE

1. Spiders hp decay increased ( 10%-20%) Upto 10-5s spiders endurance .
   
2. Victims can now heal and reload when they are in her cocoon with 30% less efficiency.
   
3. Attk unload delay: 500ms-750ms
   

( IDK how to balance her super TBH. She has to be one of the most unserious character supers I've seen. A fast paced multiplayer game where u always have to be active, Havin a character who literally makes u being idle for a decent period of time.... Like even if the super was 3s, she still will be good... Bcuz of how her super works. her Allie's including herself, gets a huge advantage in many scenarios, because 5s is still enough to do the impossible in ongoin matches, atleast in competitive. Soo increasing the decay again will let her and her allies do less amount of crazy plays and other shit. But if u have any ideas, just let me know how to balance her super properly
but what can i see for now which needs a deserved change is that the spooders gadget Imo is still pretty braindead and strong at the same time.... 10s of endurance if doesn't get damaged helps her soo much for control , this especially helps with single non pierce attkers . This should do the damn job .
*BUFFS , DEBUFFS and CHANGES *
MANDY
--CHANGES--

1. first star power is now baseline. it is replaced with THE new SP ( In my sight's)..... Which increases the upper and lower view point by 15% in focused mode...

( IMO her 1st SP is a must for her kit..... So i tried making her 1st sp baseline as I think, she is quiet unviable without it....)
CHESTER
--buffs--

1. Main Attk DMG: ==( 1280-1400)
   
2. SCR : 7-- 6 bells
   
3. Poprocks super now have a throwing range similar to other spawners like Nita.
   

--REWORKS--

1. 2 nd sp now reveals enemy's ammo bar and charge rate ( CHARGE RATE bar amplifies like lous freeze bar)
   
2. 1 st SP now removes one cap bell attack and cycles between 2-3 bells
   

(Although OUR Mighty JESTER dosent have any good competitive purposes, he still feels awfull in Ladder as well.... bumping the DMG will make his long range shots more rewarding and reworking his 1st SP will reduce his Burst DMG buuuut, this SP will indeed increase his Consistency over DMG even more...)
KIT ( SIZABLE REWORK )
--Buffs--

1. after leeching out from an allie, he will gain 33% of his super back
   
2. Super duration when leeched on allies 10s-12s
   

--DEBUFFS--

1. MAIN attk DMG : 2000-1600 ( revert)

--changes ( Reworks )--
1.Power hungry ( SP) : renamed to " Enter context ". When leeched to an allie, his allie will passively Charge its super similar to kit himself, but it will be 20% less effective.

1. Cardboard box ( gadget) : renamed to "Enter context" will increase leached allies movement speed by 25% for 5s
   
2. Overly attached ( SP) : renamed to " Enter context" . Will get 40% DMG when super is applied to opponents and targeted victim will receive 20% more DMG from all source's. The Dmg buff also Includes kits super DMG.
   
3. Cheeseburger ( Gadget) : will now heal kit even if he isn't leeched to any allies. But it will be 30% of his max HP. And now has a maximum healing cap of 4000 . ( small Nerf) so no more Kit + Big tank combo.
   
4. After leeching out of an Allie, he will gain 25% DMG reduction for 5s
   

( Tried to make him actually decently supportive rather assassin type. Hot take but kits whole system is just messed up. From gadgets being not supportive enough to SPs being very situational. One thing i also noticed that, supportive characters who has shorter range generally suffers more than the other supports. And not to mention, his super is not that consistent. After leeching out of an Allie, he literally losts his whole damn super and considering he has no other way to fastly charge his super except attacking others opponents, which he suffers again cuz he has short range , low burst and low Hp. So He has to passively charge it most of the time. Which takes a while where 20s to be exact. So i tried to make his super just a little more cyclable and tried making his whole gadget, SP reworked . To make him supportively better. Soo lastly, WDYT? Did i overdo it, or like overbuffed him? Let me know tho. For any improvements)
CHUCK
--Debuffs--

1. Cant place polls in a HIEST safe ( in a radious of 4 tiles )

--Buffs--

1. Reload speed 2000ms-1800ms
   
2. projectile speed 1750-1860
   

--CHANGES ( small reworks) --
1 .autoaiming outside the polls will no longer place one , instead all poles now need to be placed manually.

1. Reroute gadget will pick up the nearest pole instead of last placed pole. The gadget Will Still pick up poles even if the super is Charged

( Outside heist and few hotzone maps.... He recently started to become outshined by other controllers. His kit is really weird as it only works decently on specific modes and maps. Soo kinda tried to rework some of his base stats .
And this change to his super will let him do more good pole placements soo he can do more controlling attribution for his team.. although WDYT?.
SAM ( SIZABLE REWORK)
--Changes--

1. 1st SP is now baseline. it is replaced with ( insert name ) which upon deploying his super, he will be immune to all CC for 1.5s
   
2. 2nd SP is now reworked, after launching his super, after 10s, he will instantly charge his super. (Doesn't passively charge bty )
   
3. 2nd gadget is now reworked as well to ( insert name ) . It is like sprouts one, when knuckle Busters are on the ground , using this gadget will automatically home in to himself and will deal 1800 DMG
   

( He is completely dependent on his 1st SP ... IMO making it baseline is important, second of all... Both of his 2nd gadget and SP is Dogshit.... It really need some love... Soo tried this Rework to remove some of Sam's weaknesses. Also. Is the first SP rework good or just made it too strong ?, let me know)
OR, ( Quickfix)

1. knuckle Busters pickup timing reduced by half .
   
2. Hp Value: 10800-11200
   

FANG
--debuffs--

1. SRR : 45hits
   
2. Super DMG: 2400-2200
   

--buffs--

1. Main attk DMG : 2720-2800
   
2. Super dash speed: 4000-4500
   

HYPERCHARGE Tweaks

1. HCR : 20%-30% -- ( 5-3.33 supers)

(fresh kicks SP has been always a must pick for his kit, and now because of his buffed SCR , this SP just straight makes him to be able to destroy low-mid ladder player matchmakings . Although he is counterable in competitive matches. But knowing the fact that 70% of the whole player base are casuals, i think he actually needs a super Debuff, cuz NOBODY likes to get teamwiped in a matter of seconds. He was already pretty solid IF U PLAYED HIM well enough which most of the people weren't. After his SRR buff, he already became STUPIDITY braindead as it is pretty EZ TO cycle supers.
Now i just wanna make him skill based as how he was before sep 2023. The main thing that i noticed was his SRR change is what made him less skill
Tried to revert it. But also giving him some buffs to balance thing's out.
GUS ( Rework to supportive gimmicks )
--Buffs--

1. spirit heal: 1600-2000

--CHANGES--

1. Hitting a Spirit Charged attk on a wall will now spawn a Ghost as well
   
2. Kooky popper( gadget) : added knockback but DMG is cut in 1/4th . 2000-500
   
3. 2nd gadget: removed HP sacrificial ( 5%-0% ) And next attk upon Activation will spawn 2 spirits
   

( Really hoping this will make him shine again, tried to make him supportively viable by making the spirits actually useful for healing his Allie's. Keep in mind that the sprits healing buff is an indirect buff to his 1st SP as well. Allowing his allie to heal upto 4000 which is pretty substantial. And adding some kind of CC to him soo he can atleast retreat with THIS but added additional nerf to it for a compensation. )
LOU
DEBUFFS:

1. Hypothermia SP : Max DMG reduction. 50%-35%

BUFFS:

1. Hp value: 6400-7000
   
2. SCR : 8-7 shots ( without SCR gear )
   

HYPERCHARGE tweaks (DEBUFF)

1. Hypercharged super insta freeze -70% of the freeze bar will be filled

( Same is COLGATE, not any big problems on his main kit, except his HYPERCHARGE.... Buuut supercell really likes to kill a character whos main issue isn't his base kit. also his hypothermia SP is kinda getting slept on as how secretly STRONG AF it is. You can still almost insta freeze any enemy with HCed super combined with Cyro Shyrup )

Okay, it all started 6 years when I first stumbled upon this:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RR1YcjfAddI then one of the Zero Hour episodes).
Notice in that MMD video there's High School Of The Dead and Terminator references/Easter eggs? That's what inspired me to start this mission making a Blender animation with this type of Easter egg(s). Vocaloid and anime characters - particularly my personal favourite cartoon and anime characters in place of the originals. This is all that was needed to set my dream of a parody video or Easter egg hunt involving my favorite fictional animated characters combined with existing media into motion.
But due to some power-happy mods/admins of certain websites who had no idea of this special mission of mine - as I was hiding it until it's complete (no spoilers), they had to act above and beyond and discipline me by either removing my posts regarding this question (E.G., "Where can I download this sound effect(s)?") or out-of-the-blue (perma)-banning me for "breaking the (site) rules"/"piracy efforts"!
Plus, it took me a whopping 8 years (as no keyword I used (at the time) yielded what I was expecting/requested for) just to determine/figure out it was Hollywood Edge, Hanna Barbera, Sound Ideas, etc., etc. that I had to refer to for the "common sound effects" we hear all the time in TV shows, movies, video games, and cartoons. This is a new realm of sound effects to me and now that I finally found it, I need a breather. But these mods/admins gave me anything but that.
Even the MMD community has rules to follow regarding downloading models others have "created" - those that were literally ripped from a video game. So to still respect the MMD model usage rules/be a law-biding citizen, I resorted to Blender as after watching a 3D remaster of Cars Community Service, I realized Blender is basically the entire package.
If you don't understand English, here's the simple version: I need help to streamline my 3D modelling process to obtain 3D models of things I’ll need for my Blender animation - with whatever strategy I can improvise. I need any readily available and already made 3D models for my Blender animation. I’m currently 28 years of age; I got this far in my life, but I’m not sure how much further I can go. But this is one case where I won’t accept “Too bad, so sad” that easily.
Whether it’s requesting for the thing for this game via the game dev team’s email by emailing them what you request for in the game and once they do make it for the game and upload it to their client and I update my copy of the game via patching, I then decompile the game from my end and presto. I obtain that game’s new model.
It’s faster to rip them from a game as they’re already made for that game.
Sadly, I have yet to find a high graphic Columbine High School in it’s original floor plan as a 3D model via any game. So I have to fall back to Plan B and make it via Blender. But that (learning to use Blender) takes time and I’m not that skilled at using Blender yet. So I have to seek help from someone who’s already an expert and fluent with using Blender or any other 3D modelling software to make it for me to streamline that process.
But some people have died earlier than anticipated like Terry Fox when he died of cancer at 22 and Wowaka when he died of heart failure at 31. So I’m not taking any chances and need to streamline the modelling process with any measure or strategy I can think up before I meet a similar early fate like they did.
Is that the way you want to go? To leave your fan base hanging in suspense for the rest of their lives while you head for your eternal place in the who-knows-where's? Every millisecond counts. - Especially for those who have a terminal illness and are literally living on borrowed time. Some of us must and will complete our goals no matter what obstacles we encountewhat gets in our way in any way possible. You really never know when your time is up. Age has no relation to when is the day you die; it could happen on any day and we need to get our goal done with whatever strategy we can whip up/improvise. I'm still bummed Wowaka missed out on the Project VOLTAGE collaboration with Miku.
Wouldn't you feel bummed if your family member or friend or relative died too soon if you were this close to letting them see something you made? So via the game dev's email and requests forum, I request for the said model, but make sure it's somehow related to the game's gameplay or storyline.
This is the strategy: get a game dev company to make the models for me, but via for the video game. That way, once it's released to the public, I work my magic from there and decompile the game for the said 3D model. Thanks to Payday 2 and it's Bundle Modder and Diesel Tool programs, it dramatically cuts down the amount of time I need to remodel the stuff I need for my Blender movie from scratch.
Plus, I can't just think about myself, I gotta think about others too. So I thought "What if everyone would enjoy my weapons and stuff in the said video game?" But since I don't work for the game dev company, I might as well write to them my request list of things to implement into the game via their email. Now that I submitted my ideas for their games, all I have to do is wait til they make it now while I finish up some unfinished personal matters on my end.
Columbine High School is going to play an important role in my Class of 1999 (starring Bradley Gregg) parody movie. But so many people are reluctant to help me due to this school building.
And also, you can’t imagine the heartache I endured while trying to seek assistance in searching for sound effects. They treated me like I’m some felon trying to “pirate” sound effects. So after 3 months of wasted time on my sound effects search quest, the least I can do right now is make up for that wasted time.
Finally, this is the whole reason Alvin Earthworm discontinued Super Mario Bros Z: "Us: HURRY UP WITH THE NEXT EPISODE ALREADY!", his project was merely intended to be a hobby. So to avoid comments like that, I'm going to finish my animations FIRST, then upload them later. So you can see what happens at the end before you pass away early.
So yes, is there anything wrong with thinking/planning ahead of YOURSELF as well as thinking about others before you do the same (stupid) thing they did? I even did my due diligence and stumbled upon things like this: Run Hide Fight (Isabel May). They clearly did their planning, due diligence, and studies before publishing this movie. So therefore, as long as I follow the same procedure, I should be able to publish my Blender vocaloid parody video while offending as little to no people in the process. I'm going to make a Class of 1999 (Bradley Gregg) parody video that involves several of the Zero Hour episodes mixed together as Easter eggs along with my favorite characters and things taking place of the original characters and props - while in the process, making a few changes to the story line.